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Fool Me Twice

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Alastor was going to flay the skin from Lucifer's body and use it to make a new coat.Of all the manipulative, underhanded, sneaky, terrible ways to make his day worse, Lucifer had-Well, he'd called out last minute from coming to Rosie's with Alastor, but only after having convinced him that they ought to bring Charlie along.To 'rebuild their relationship', he'd said.The only thing that was going to need rebuilding was Lucifer's suite, once Alastor had returned to the hotel and uncovered whatever hiding place the king had surely retreated to.“Oops! I forgot I actually have a meeting with Mammon today – you go on, please, tell Rosie I said hello!” the king had announced, seconds after walking through the front doors of the lobby with Alastor and Charlie in toe. He'd waved off any excuses from either one of them with a grin, disappearing in a puff of red glitter.Which left Alastor walking to Cannibal Town with his hands folded at his back, cane clutched tightly in one fist – Charlie maintaining an awkward silence at his side.It wasn't that he disliked the girl – he just hadn't found himself particularly impressed with her actions of late. She was being awfully judgemental for somebody who touted forgiveness – it seemed her willingness to see a rainbow in every demon didn't extend to those of the radio variety, at least not when they were sleeping with her father.“Sooo...” Charlie started, breaking the silence first as she kicked at the ground whilst walking, her own hands tucked behind her back and an uncomfortable grin on her face.That was one point on Alastor's side of the board - not that he was counting. She dropped her arms before twisting her hands in front of herself as he gave her a disinterested smile, hastily lowering them to her sides when he raised a brow.“Um – what's Rosie's party about, anyway?”Party - Alastor would hardly call a revenue raising event a party. And if Charlie had taken the least bit of time to listen to his broadcasts, or even to read the small advert Rosie had taken in the Pride Ring Pamphlet, she would already know exactly what it was about.“It's a high tea, and it's the first event she's hosted since the population of her town was rather... reduced, in your aid,” Alastor responded, pointedly returning his gaze to continue staring into the middle distance when she winced.If Lucifer had hoped this might bring his lover and his daughter closer, it was not going well.“I should have visited her before now, huh? Maybe sent her a bouquet of... um...”“Fingers?” Alastor suggested, his grin sharpening as his brows rose, ears pricking forward. Charlie's mouth twisted into something halfway between a grimace and a smile, looking uncertain as to whether he was joking or not.He really should be making an effort, here. If only to appease Lucifer – though why he'd bother doing so right now was beyond him, when the man had been so tricky about arranging the entire thing in the first place.“Rosie is the type of person who prefers actions over meaningless gestures. Sending her a 'thank you' note would likely have made her fume, and I'm sure she's been much too busy for an unscheduled visit from the Princess of Hell. If you'd like to get on her good side – I suggest you make a sizeable donation to the cause. Be kind to her citizens – Susan excepted, naturally – and simply be the polite young lady I know you're capable of being, questions of intruding upon others in their bedrooms aside,” Alastor offered, his canned laughter ringing in the air.It wasn't exactly an olive branch, barely even a twig.Perhaps a single olive, fallen from the mother tree and quite possibly riddled with parasites by now.But it was a start.Charlie swallowed, drawing in a deep breath with a look of determination that made Alastor sigh internally. He'd lived with her long enough to know that look.“Alastor – I'm sorry about the other day. I shouldn't have come into my dad's room – um – your rooms? - and it won't happen again. I've been unfair to you, and even I don't understand what's going on, not entirely – clearly my dad sees something in you that the rest of Hell doesn't.”Alastor raised a brow, his static snickering in the air as she blanched.“Not that – not that there's not good to see in you! That's not what I meant! Oh, that came out really wrong. I know you're loyal – in your own way – and dependable, I mean, defending the hotel has proved that more than once. And – it's not my business who – what!” she corrected, her voice sailing into an embarrassed squeak. “-My dad does.”Silence reigned as she finished – well, as silent as Hell ever got in any case, distant screams, car alarms and explosions notwithstanding – and Alastor played his applause track, letting it stretch for a moment longer than could be considered comfortable.“Well – I shall be glad to inform his majesty that I've received such a ringing endorsement,” he commented drily, untucking his hands from his lower back and spinning his cane absently at his side, sharpening his grin at a reptilian sinner currently pointing their mobile telephone at the pair of them. The device suddenly burst into green flames, the demon in question dropping it with a yelp.Honestly – it wasn't as though they needed Charlie's approval for this. Why everyone else felt the need to get involved was beyond him – surely there were far more interesting and important things going on than Alastor's lo- personal life. But he could understand the need to seek entertainment in odd places, particularly with the strange limbo-like feeling that had settled over the hotel, what with no news about whether the upcoming extermination was going ahead.A distraction from ones woes or boredom could excuse many otherwise peculiar behaviours.He could most certainly attest to that.A movement on the corner of a building caught his eye, and he glanced up to see a camera swivelling to follow him, red light blinking above the lens. He grinned at it, mentally brushing the very top of the vast reservoir of his power, knowing that his image would now be showing up terribly distorted as he stepped neatly to Charlie's other side, curling his claws over her shoulders and leaning down to speak to her in a low voice.“Perhaps these conversations are best had out of sight or hearing, hmm? Inquiring minds want to know, after all,” he said pointedly, the girl stiffening – an odd reflex she had to being manhandled, he'd come to notice. He steered her down a side street that wasn't so lined with curious sinners, and which came out beside a small bookstore in Cannibal Town, after which he let her go.“So you're – it's still a secret?” Charlie pressed, Alastor giving a noncommittal hum in response, waving his fingers at a cannibal woman exiting a nearby shoe store, distracted,“One might call it that. I find my business goes more smoothly when it remains my business. Phillipa! That is you – goodness, I almost wasn't certain! Have you lost weight?” Alastor asked, sinking into the shadows and darting across the street to the woman he'd noticed, a wide grin on his face.Charlie blinked, briefly looking around as he vanished.“Ha! About two hundred and fifty pounds! Pity it was an Angelic blade that did him in – that man had some meat on him, I can tell you that much. Oh well – life goes on, don't it? Or not!” Phillipa cackled, Alastor chuckling along as he joined her, Charlie scurrying across the road to catch up.The princess looked awfully surprised that he might be speaking to anybody outside of the hotel – as though he existed in a vacuum. It reminded him of Angel's reaction upon finding out he actually had a home, outside of his duties as facility manager. Not that it got much use, these days – but he still had one.“Are you attending Rosie's high tea, then?” he asked, eyes glinting. He'd practically put Charlie from his mind, and she was looking at him with no small amount of incredulity as the bounce in his step improved, seemingly incredibly off balance by his drastic change in attitude.“Oh, wouldn't miss it for the world! Although – would you mind asking her why she's no longer got virgin blood available? I haven't been able to make my pudding for months, you know,” Phillipa added, and Alastor almost missed a step, feedback briefly sputtering in the air as two red spots rose in his cheeks. He cut a glance to Charlie, but she didn't seem to be paying attention – looking with fascination at a street performer who had the rather unusual talent of turning himself inside out.She looked a little green, in fact, and Alastor hastened to her side, pushing her in between Phillipa and himself as blood dripped onto the pavement. For the princess of Hell, she seemed to have a significant lack of exposure to some of its more dreadful elements.“Hmm, I shall inquire. Perhaps her supplier simply... changed their habits,” Alastor suggested, one ear flicking back at Phillipa barked a laugh.“After – what, fifty years? Oh, there's a good one, Alastor. Ah, I missed your humour, you know? Don't be a stranger around town no more, Rosie and I ain't the only widows around here who might like your company.”Phillipa winked at him, and Alastor's static hummed with amusement. Despite what else in Pentagram City might change, Cannibal Town and its residents remained much the same, to his immense relief.Charlie frowned, looking mighty offended for a girl who had so recently been weighing up Alastor's benefits in relation to her father.“Actually, Alastor is-”“Too busy with the hotel to spend my afternoons indulging you lovely ladies, though I certainly appreciate the compliment,” Alastor interrupted, the perfect gentleman as his canned laughter rang in the air. “Phillipa, have you met our dear princess Charlotte Morningstar personally?”He pushed the girl towards the cannibal woman, Phillipa's dark eyes sparkling as her sharp toothed smile widened. She paused to perform a curtsy, delicately plucking up her skirts in her claws.“Oh – a pleasure, I'm sure. I loved your little ditty, I did! Why, any friend of Alastor's is a friend of ours, and especially one as precocious as you! Next time you plan to give Heaven what for, I'm behind you, absolutely. We'll show those bastards we ain't so beaten down, not yet,” she added, her voice going dark.Charlie gave a nervous chuckle, muttering something vague about having no plans to go to war or anything of the sort, and how in fact they were hoping this might discourage Heaven from attacking again, but they were still waiting to hear.Immediately losing interest when the prospect of violence was seemingly no longer on the table, Phillipa spotted a gentleman locking up his bicycle, excusing herself to rush over and loop her arm in his, practically dragging him into step beside her as they hurried towards the Emporium. Charlie let out a whoosh of air.“Alastor – um, I don't know if you've done this before, but if you're with my dad, you can't just let every woman keep flirting with you. It would – it would hurt his feelings – and theirs, if you lead them on!” Charlie stammered, faltering when he gave her a wry grin and flipped his wrist in the air, laughter crackling around him.“Oh, my dear. I'd love to know how you propose I stop them? In any case, none of them mean anything by it, I assure you. Why, the majority of women are married here, and of those who aren't, they'd never seriously consider me as... oh.”Alastor's assurance faded as he pushed open the door of the Emporium, suddenly faced with the sight of a veritable gaggle of Cannibal Town women turning to look at him, their conversations falling into a hush. He recognised the hungry gleam in their dark eyes, now – quite a different form of being ravenous than that which they normally wore.And one that he was far more accustomed to seeing in a pair of yellow eyes – not these empty depths.Eyes darting to their hats, he saw each lady in question wore a black skull decorating the brim. Recently widowed then, and apparently on the hunt.And Alastor their designated prey.He was just about to beat a hasty retreat when Rosie swept out from her kitchen, hand going to one of the women's shoulders – he thought it might be Eudoria, and he hadn't even realised her husband had died – forcefully pushing her back into her seat as she made to get up.“What'd I tell you, you bunch of shameless hussies, huh? Your man hunt ain't gonna end with my good friend's head – or anything else - on a platter. If anyone's gonna plate him up, it'll be me, and I ain't yet decided what sauce would go best with him so we'll leave that discussion for another day, huh?” Rosie quipped, the feather on her own hat bobbing as she trotted towards him.He shot her a look that could only be called desperate gratitude.Why, he hadn't considered himself as being on the menu since his early days in Cannibal Town! It seemed he might have to reconsider a few of his assumptions and reluctantly concede that Charlie had something approaching a point.“Oh, I so hoped you'd come. I thought you were bringing that little snack of yours, where is – oh, oops!” Rosie cut herself off, hand flying to cover her mouth as she looked at Charlie with wide eyes. She cut him an apologetic glance, and Alastor resisted the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose.“One day somebody is going to cut that wagging tongue from your mouth and serve it up with a side of greens,” he muttered, not quite resisting the desire to cast his eyes to the ceiling.“My little 'snack', as you have so aptly designated him, is apparently in a very important meeting with Mammon. And Charlie is now aware of my... dietary habits,” Alastor added pointedly, continuing the metaphor if only because it made the red circles on Charlie's cheeks blend into her skin when it flushed pink.Rosie blinked, letting out a relieved whoosh of air.“Well, so glad it's in the open, now! Or – how open? This gonna be in tomorrow's headline or on the news – though I suppose it can't be, huh, what with the television stations still being out – your doing, sweetie? Oh, I figured. You know, that man had it coming, I don't mind telling you he used to be a damn sight nicer all around. A real shame, seein' what he's like now.” Rosie had switched whom she was talking to midway through her chatter, as she so often did. Ushering Charlie to a table whilst Alastor drifted along in her wake, the woman his shield against the starving widows of Cannibal Town.“Used to come around here, such a polite fellow. But times change, huh, people change – not me, though. Not Rosie. Must be why Alastor keeps me around,” Rosie winked at him, pulling out a chair and pushing it firmly into the backs of Charlie's knees, the girl sitting down with skull rattling force.“Hope you didn't give our Alastor a hard time about it. A little bit of domestic terrorism now and then can be excused, don't you think? A demon's gotta let off some steam eventually, and after what he – well, I won't go into details, I'm sure Alastor wouldn't like me blabbering on about it,” Rosie cackled, sliding into the booth opposite Charlie and patting the seat next to her, waiting until Alastor had folded his lanky frame down to sit at her side, his smile sharp and bright on his face.“Well, it's nice to know that at least somebody can restrain themselves when it comes to sharing the sordid details of my life. I ought to have insisted the king attend, if only so he could learn a thing or two from you about restraint, Rosie,” Alastor commented lightly, plucking a napkin from the table and tucking it into his shirt collar, looking cheerfully around at the varied waitstaff Rosie had employed for the day.He let out a distressed squeak when Rosie shot out a hand and pinched his arm, ears briefly flicking back against his head as he shot her a reproachful glare.“Now, now. None of that. I ain't gonna entertain you makin' snide remarks about the fellow, not after-” Rosie cut Charlie a glance, the girl looking at the pair of Overlords with wide eyes. “Well. Not after everything, let's just say that much.”Alastor's static crackled, irritation warring with amusement buzzing in the air. An infuriating woman, sometimes, and yet he found it impossible to stay annoyed at her for any length of time. A quality Lucifer was quickly managing to develop, it seemed.He brightened considerably as a waiter brought over a selection of steak and kidney pies, eagerly taking one for both himself and Rosie, and shooting a sly glance Charlie's way.“Oh – dear. Rosie, darling, did you remember to provide any... hmm... vegetarian options for our friend, here?” he asked lightly, watching Charlie's brows furrow in confusion.Charlie brightened, noticing the little card on the tray the waiter had been carrying – it was important to identify the food, particularly in an establishment like Rosie's. Why – the last thing one wanted to do was to divorce their wife, only to end up eating her once more a few days later!The princess evidently took the sign 'Marshall's steak and kidney pie' to mean the food was made by the man, rather than from him, though.“I don't mind a steak and kidney pie, really! I've got nothing against... eating... um... meat...” she trailed off, quailing in the face of the matching, sharp toothed grins sent her way by both Rosie and Alastor, the former with her chin propped on a fist, the latter now sliding his own plate towards the princess.“Wonderful to hear it! You know, the first time I visited I was also not particularly sold on the cuisine – well, Rosie notwithstanding, of course, ha ha, delightfully amusing story, that – but she's such a talented cook that I could barely tell the difference between her liver pate recipe and those of the more standard variety. Rest assured that everyone Rosie serves is paid extremely well for their participation in her luncheons!” Alastor chuckled, sitting back and crossing one leg over the other under the table, claws lacing over his knee.Charlie paused, the fork halfway to her mouth. She looked at the piece of meat and pastry on the end of the utensil.She looked back at Alastor.She looked over at Rosie, who kept grinning at her, watching to see what she was going to do.After a moment, Charlie swallowed, the realisation of what she was about to eat dawning on her visibly as her already pale face turned a touch more grey. The question was whether her desire to avoid offence would win out over her desire not to indulge in some of the more niche eating habits of Hell.“Um – you know, I had a really big breakfast, so I'm not actually that hungry. I wouldn't want to waste food, and this was your plate, Alastor, so – uh, please,” Charlie stammered out, lowering the fork and pushing it back across the table in his direction.Rosie's smile fell, and Alastor faintly cackled, a sharp bark of laughter that was wholly unbecoming for a gentleman.“It seems as though you owe me a rack of ribs, my dear. And I believe a bottle of your special sauce was on offer, was it not?” Alastor prompted, nudging Rosie with his elbow as she turned to him, pulling a face.“Oh, don't look so sour. Your face will get stuck like that and then I shan't be able to take you anywhere,” Alastor snickered, deftly snapping his spine to the side to avoid another sharp jab to the ribs, his body contorting with a hideous crack before jolting back into place.Charlie gave a hesitant laugh, her smile turning into something more natural when Rosie folded her arms across her chest and pouted, looking for all the world like a petulant teen – and not the centuries old, cannibalistic Overlord that she was. Alastor picked up Charlie's abandoned fork and merrily tucked in, unable to stop the pleased hum that escaped him, nor the way his tail wiggled happily under his belt.Rosie's recipes just felt so much like home, after so long living either with her or near enough that it was practically the same thing. Perhaps he could convince her to move into the hotel – they could do with a chef, and she could surely be persuaded to use slightly more conventional ingredients.“So – Rosie – how did you and Alastor meet?” Charlie asked, her question immediately clearing the dark cloud hovering over Rosie as her face brightened, the woman straightening in her seat.“Well, it really is a funny story. It was a few years after his arrival, a couple other Overlords had already gone missing, so when I heard he was on his way here I thought 'oh, Rosie, time's up for you, love. Might as well sit him down and see if you can talk him out of it, maybe give him something better to chew on than your leathery old carcass' – you know, I find a person is always so much more agreeable with a good meal in 'em, and Satan knows this bundle of sticks could use a few!” Rosie laughed, ignoring Alastor's eye roll as he continued with his pie.“So, we got to chattin', see, and I figured maybe...”Rosie went on, regaling Charlie with the oh-so fascinating story of her favourite serial killer. He didn't particularly appreciate the comparison to a feral cat, but the fact that a waiter brought over a delightful sample of finger food more than made up for that little slight.Charlie nodded along with enthusiasm, glancing at Alastor every now and then, a considering look in her eyes. He resigned himself to the fact that a few more layers of his mystery were being unravelled, though thankfully Rosie refrained from sharing some of the more embarrassing parts of their time together.Eventually, Alastor even started contributing a few snippets of information - “No, my dear, I attacked that dreadful fellow – Pentious, as it turns out – because he insulted you. That really was a step too far.”He warmed to the discussion, and shortly Charlie was telling Rosie about having walked in on Alastor and her father the other day, admitting that whilst she knew they were sleeping together, she didn't think they were actually sleeping together.Rosie scolded her for wandering in like that, and Charlie sheepishly agreed it had been the wrong thing to do, explaining that she'd already apologised – and that was that. The topic was done, dusted, closed off – any perceived slights somehow smoothed over by Rosie's incredibly skilled hand.Maybe Lucifer wasn't going to need flaying after all. * * * * * * “The king is where?” Alastor repeated, sure that he'd somehow heard wrong, despite having exceptional hearing. Vaggie gave him a look that said she didn't see why it was any of his business, and also can you turn down the hissing static in the air, it's very grating, thank you.“He got a phone call. Said it was urgent – the higher ups had some important shit to discuss. What's the big deal? He met with Heaven a few weeks ago – it's not like they can do anything to him that's worse than what they've already done,” Vaggie scowled, her own issues with the powers that be clearly floating to the forefront of her mind.Oh, but she was so dreadfully wrong it was almost laughable, if it wasn't quite so terrifying. Ideas of everything worse ran through his mind, each one more dreadful than the last, and his chest tightened.Why call this meeting now? In person, no less?It hadn't even been a week since that threat – it couldn't be a coincidence. If Alastor had believed in coincidences, he never would have held onto his power for so long. There was always a deeper purpose behind things.But why? Alastor had done everything she'd asked. Charlie hadn't-“Have you mentioned the topic of redemption to any of the guests?” Alastor snapped, his head turning so quickly to face the girl that it took his body a moment to catch up. She took a step back, alarmed at the way his eyes were glowing red, his smile as dangerous as an entire drawer full of knives right now. Even his antlers were branching from his skull as the unmistakable threads of panic started to creep into his bloodstream.“No, I-”“What the fuck is your problem? It's just a meeting, don't yell at Charlie because you don't have a way for your – for the king to – to text you, or something. It's not her fault if he didn't bother telling you about it,” Vaggie retaliated, immediately jumping to Charlie's defence, stepping in front of her as though she was ready to physically fight him if he showed even a hint of being out of control.She'd probably do it, too. He'd rip her apart as easily as breathing, but it would be dreadfully messy, and Charlie would be awfully displeased that she had to wait for her girlfriend to pull herself back together.His ears pinned back against his head, heart rate increasing as he clenched his teeth in a rictus version of his smile, unable to stop himself from pacing across the space between the staff kitchen and the door to the lobby. He was acting quite unlike himself, and in front of witnesses, no less – but the frantic leaping of his heart wouldn't be ignored, the organ once again betraying him.He truly couldn't think of anything he'd done wrong. There was no reason to harm Lucifer, to take him away. Unless it was simply a move of spite, or some way to force his hand. He still had the favour with Charlie to call in – though what help she could possibly be in such a situation, he couldn't see.Not right now – not while his head was whirling with terrible images and ideas, as vivid and clear in his mind as though he were at a moving picture show.Charlie's phone went off, and Alastor turned to shadows and raced across the room so fast that she didn't even have time to reach for her pocket before he snatched it from her jacket, narrowing his eyes as a rectangle appeared across the centre of the screen, the word 'Dad' sitting at the top and a white square in the centre.There was nothing else – no message, no indication of whether he was safe, when – if – no, when he was coming back.“Decipher this,” Alastor demanded, thrusting the phone into Charlie's hand. She sputtered, almost dropping it, her other hand having to catch it before it fell as Alastor loomed over her, the ceiling of the room starting to darken.“Why are you acting like such a freak?” Vaggie muttered, letting out a yelp when he pushed her bodily out of the way so he could peer over Charlie's shoulder at her telephone, heart still thudding uncomfortably loudly against his ribs.“Vaggie, chill out. He's worried,” Charlie murmured, Vaggie letting out a derisive snort in response.“Yeah, right. Alastor doesn't worry about anyone but hims- holy shit,” she interrupted herself, mouth going slack with surprise and her eye opening wide. Alastor took his eyes from Charlie's phone for the split second it took to shoot her a withering glare.“You are worried. Why the fuck are you worried?” Now she sounded worried, the crackling, popping static in the air clearly communicating Alastor's tension, infecting the former exterminator with some of his own unease.“Considering that the last time he had a meeting with Heaven, he managed to teleport himself into the sky and plummet miles to the ground, all without even waking up, I feel as though it's not an entirely unreasonable reaction, yes?” Alastor hissed out, almost growling in frustration when Charlie's screen popped up 'wrong code! 2 attempts remain!'She was fumbling with it, biting her lip. Her hands were shaking, and though Alastor knew it wouldn't help matters, he desperately wanted to take her by the shoulders and shake her, to make her hurry up with it.“How did you know about – ohmygod you were there,” Vaggie stuttered, lip curling as Alastor rolled his eyes. He waved a hand in the air, a 'get on with it' gesture.“Yes, yes, I think we've firmly established I'm sleeping with the man, in all senses of the word. That little adventure was rather harrowing, and I'd quite like it if there wasn't a repeat. So please tell me what he has sent you,” he snarled, Charlie nodding as quickly as a doll on a dashboard, finally getting past the locked screen of her phone.“It just means he's sent a picture, that's all, it's just – oh,” Charlie paused, also feeding off Alastor's panic in a way that had her voice going unnaturally high, going still as the image flashed up on the screen.Alastor blinked, adrenaline freezing in his veins.Just Lucifer, beaming into the camera, the arm not holding his phone slung around the shoulders of – was that Sir Pentious? He looked different, but the awkward half-smile, half-grimace on both his face and his hat said it was. He was even holding two of his fingers up in that gesture popularized in the seventies.“He's fine,” Charlie said, her voice small. She blinked, shaking her head slightly.“He's fine!”There was a moment of awkward silence before anybody spoke, and it was Vaggie who broke it.“Of – of course he's fine! I mean, it's not like anyone in Heaven was going to attack him. What the Hell could have possibly gone wrong?” Vaggie growled out, throwing her hands up and letting out a rough exhale of air.He certainly looked fine – like he had no cares in the world, like being in Heaven wasn't a personal nightmare for him – like he hadn't just left and gone into enemy territory and he hadn't even told Alastor about it.“I'm going to flay him,” Alastor muttered, one eye twitching as he looked at the picture with disbelief. Vaggie made a disgusted noise and murmured something about keeping their bedroom activities to themselves, but Alastor just sank, boneless, to the sofa, burying his fingers in his hair and pushing it back from his head for a moment, a smattering of microphone feedback echoing around him.He supposed he could try to blame Lucifer for that embarrassing little display in front of Charlie and Vaggie. He was only lucky more people hadn't been around to witness his excruciating performance in humiliation.“Can you – can you not do that?” Vaggie uttered, shifting uncomfortably from side to side when Alastor glanced up at her, raising one brow.“What?” he snapped back, somewhat vindicated by the displeased frown Charlie gave her girlfriend, suddenly on his side once more. Vaggie crossed her arms, scowling at the floor.“Can you not act like – like you have feelings, or whatever? Cause if you do, and I've been a total bitch to you for months, then that doesn't feel great,” Vaggie admitted, the skin of her cheeks darkening with a gold blush.Alastor blinked – of all the things he'd been expecting, it certainly hadn't been that.“And here I thought you were doing it on purpose,” he drawled, the corners of his mouth quirking slightly higher. Charlie seemed to be holding her breath, looking between the pair of them with wide eyes. Like this was a pivotal moment, the pair of them on the brink of reshaping history by merely exchanging an almost civil word.Stiffly, Vaggie took the few steps to the couch and awkwardly perched on the far side of it, staring straight ahead.“I... I didn't like it when Charlie went to Heaven, either,” she admitted, voice low. Alastor lifted his head from his hands, hastily affixing his shattered composure back into place.“I don't trust them.”Charlie bit her lip, looking as though she desperately wanted to see this play out, but also wanted to give them some privacy, the opportunity for months of dislike to somehow find a better path forward. She settled for hastening over to the opposite side of the room, picking up a book from one shelf, placing it on the other. Clearly still listening in, but trying to pretend she wasn't.“You have good reason not to,” Alastor pointed out, gaze flicking pointedly to her eye patch as his ears straightened along with the rest of him. She nodded, shoulders hunching in as she wrapped her arms around her middle.“So do you.”Alastor static sputtered, a brief spike of fear going through him – she didn't – she couldn't-“They – we – fly down once a year and try our hardest to wipe you out. And you're right, they did some terrible shit to Charlie's dad. All because – because we thought it was right. Because we were told it was – because sinners are just heartless freaks, aren't they? Humans who went against the divine order, and they deserved to be punished for it. Demons don't feel, they don't – don't love, don't worry about anyone except for themselves. But – but it's not fucking true, is it? Pentious loved so goddamn hard he got himself wiped out to buy us a few more seconds after you disappeared. And as much as he pisses me off, I can't deny that Angel has feelings, even if he tries to pretend he doesn't. Husk, too, even if he pretends so hard I think even he believes it. I spent years believing in it – it's no wonder you hate Heaven, for what they've done,” Vaggie muttered, refusing to look up.It was as if a floodgate had opened – her attempt to relate to Alastor on why he distrusted Heaven, felt so panicked at the idea of Lucifer in their hands, unearthing a multitude of hidden truths. He wondered if she'd ever tried to put them all together like this before.“You're right to not trust them. Charlie hasn't talked about it, but I know the fact they want the hotel shut down still bothers her. I'm – it's nice to know her dad has somebody worrying about him, too. Sometimes, I think they don't worry about themselves enough, so maybe... maybe they need us to do it for them,” Vaggie went on, voice so low now that Charlie had stopped moving books around, and even Alastor had to twist one of his ears in Vaggie's direction just to make out her words.“You're proposing a truce, of sorts,” Alastor muttered back, static covering his words so that only Vaggie would be able to pick up on them. She smirked, finally turning her head enough to look at him from the corner of her eye, and slipped a hand over for him to shake.“This doesn't mean we're friends,” she pointed out, and Alastor's smile widened.“I couldn't think of anything worse,” he added mildly, wrapping his claws around her hand. She squeezed, and her palm was calloused from years of wielding weaponry.“This is just a mutual understanding that we both want to keep our individual idiots safe,” Vaggie confirmed. Alastor nodded, amusement curling through him.“Because Heaven knows they can't do it themselves,” he agreed, blinking when Vaggie snorted.“Fuck what Heaven knows. Hell knows,” she shot back, and this time canned laughter rang in the air.Maybe Vaggie wasn't quite as awful as he'd originally given her credit for. She had offered him some relatively helpful advice during that dreadful week, even if she'd followed it up by accusing him of trying to manipulate the king into a deal once things had returned to something approaching normal.“We know,” Alastor clarified, and the fierce grin that bloomed on Vaggie's face as she gave his hand a firm shake made him see just how determined she was when it came to the princess.A new appreciation took root within him, recognising some of that fierce loyalty. This was a woman who would gladly sacrifice herself, if it meant Charlie could go on unharmed. Nothing would stand in her way, not demon, angel – possibly even Heaven itself. He might be able to learn something from that – from her.He broke their hold at the same time a glowing, golden portal swirled into the middle of the room, Lucifer backing out of it, holding the brim of his hat with one hand and waving pleasantly with the other.It vanished, he turned around, and the smile on his face turned into a scowl, aimed at the rug in the centre of the room as though it had personally been responsible for his expulsion from the realm he'd just exited. He didn't even seem to realise anyone else was there until Alastor deliberately cleared his throat, a record scratch of a noise. Lucifer started, twitching so hard his hat tilted to the side and he scrambled to put it to rights.“A meeting with Mammon, sire?” Alastor asked, words clipped and cool. Lucifer winced, looking briefly as though he wanted to defend himself, before his shoulders slumped and the expression on his face turned into one of such exhaustion that Alastor suddenly found his irritation dying before he even managed to coax it into bloom.“Alastor,” Lucifer said, the word somehow a plea, an expression of relief, and possibly something close to a prayer, all in one. He dragged himself over to the couch, completely ignoring Charlie and Vaggie – the latter of whom hastened to her feet as Lucifer collapsed along the sofa, scooting up until his head was buried in Alastor's lap, face trying to burrow into his middle. His hat fell to the floor, completely forgotten, and Alastor's static blurted a confused little whine of feedback into the air as the king curled into him, arms wrapping around his waist.“That sucked,” Lucifer mumbled, the words muffled in the fabric of Alastor's coat. Vaggie tugged on Charlie's arm, the princess looking like she wanted to help somehow, even as the demon settled his hand atop Lucifer's head with a resigned sigh.“I'm going to flay you later,” Alastor informed the king, his voice mild as the door swung shut behind the other fallen angel and her sometimes too-enthusiastic partner. Lucifer nodded into his coat, hair immediately falling into disarray.“Okay. Don't get it on the carpets.”“What do you take me for, a barbarian?” Alastor scoffed, ears falling low and his voice softening, radio echo faint.“What happened?”~fin~

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