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Baghdad, 2004Saddam anxiously waited in his palace as the American invasion was on going, despite the war, he was deeply drawn to his beloved- George W Bush. Bush kicked the door down making Saddam shart in his pants. ‘Oh my goodness gracious! Mr. Bush! I have longed for our meeting!’ Said Saddam trying to clean his pants, bush got on all fours and jumped into saddam’s lap. ‘Heyyy><‘ said bush was snuggling up to Saddam. ‘Mr President I love this I really do but we gotta discuss….your invasion on my country…’ said Saddam with a slight growl. ‘Well uh, there was video proof of you putting WMDs up your butt crack. Either way I’m pregnant with YOUR BABY! And you WONT PAY CHILD SUPPORT!’ Howled Bush fixing his skirt. Saddam blushed.. ‘…oh…child support….Osama won’t let me pay it…because he said you cheated on him w/ me… anyways he also said if I pay it he won’t let me eat anymore knafeh…’ said Saddam. Bush gasped ‘THE SAME OSAMA WHO DID 9/11? GRRRR’ Saddam whimpered ‘bush-kun don’t growl!! It’ll scare our baby!” Suddenly a bomb went off next to them. An Iraqi soldier stared at them ‘do you mind? I’m trying to crap in peace.’ He growled. Bush sighed ‘i still think this war is necessary despite what the liberal hippies say’ Saddam rolled his eyes ‘yeah ok buddy.’Meanwhile in MONGOLIAAA 🇲🇳🇲🇳🇲🇳A middle aged Finnish guy named herkko was walking around the gigantic statue of Genghis khan in ulaanbataar while throat singing and strumming a Morin khuur. Suddenly the statue started to move and Genghis khan stood up ‘what year is it?’ He asked. Herkko was STUNNED ‘MY ANCESTOR THE GREAT KHAN!!’ He screamed with delight. ‘My child, why have you summoned me?’ Said the great khan with a thick Mongol accent. ‘The great khan, a country called America has invaded Baghdad, you must reclaim it!’ Said herkko. The great Khan’s eyes widened ‘huh- GATHER THE HORSES AND THE MEN ALL AROUND MONGOLIA! He said with a commanding voice. Suddenly, the song ‘in praise of Genghis khan’ played as all the citizens of Mongolia got in horses and rode west towards Iraq, capturing Kazakhs as extra servicemen. They conquered every country on the way, even Iran.Back To BaghdadSaddam heard the heard of the horses galloping while Mongolian throat singing played. ‘What in the world was that?!’ He screamed before sticking his head outside to see a hoard of Mongolian horsemen bringing the city to its final collapse. ‘BUSH THE MONGOLS INVADED!’ Screamed Saddam. ‘OH MY GOSH ITS KHAN’S ARMY!’ Screamed bush. The horses galloped and galloped while fighting against American and Iraqi soldiers, the mongols finally got the stronghold over the two.PAKISTANOsama bin Laden sat down and sighed.. ‘I can’t believe bush cheated on me with Saddam…ugh..’ he groaned while looking at a picture of George bush in his cave. Hassan nasrallah rubbed his butt cheeks on Osama ‘don’t worry bb you have me’ Osama sighed, ‘I know it’s just…..I just miss him… and I wanna get revenge…’ Narsallah gasped ‘maybe shart on his bed!’ He giggled Osama just got up and made a fake passport, first stop. IsraelBEN GURION AIRPORT, ISRAEL🇮🇱-hava Nagila plays in the distance- first thing Osama saw as he entered was a middle aged white American man getting interrogated by the Israeli TSA for speaking Arabic. ‘Oh goodness gyatt, I shouldn’t speak Arabic here then.’ He said to himself before bordering his flight. On his flight, four, big, tall, muscular, white-ish, male, IDF soldiers surrounded him. ‘Well well well what do we got here?’ Said one of them with a thick Israeli accent yet a seductive tone. ‘He looks like a terrorist. We should have Drake play time with him.’ Said another, his accent was also thick and Israeli. So it began, they started clapping his cheeks the entire flight!! By the time they arrived in DC, Osama was traumatized. He could barely walk.WASHINGTON DC, THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅 RAHHHHHH WTF IS A KILOMETER 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🦅🦅🦅🦅Osama got on all fours and galloped to the White House out of the airport, he jumped the gates and jumped over the guards and galloped into bush’s bedroom and pulled his pants down and started pooping on the bed, the poop was glittery and rainbow like-NASHVILLE TENNESSEEBlake Shelton used his America senses to figure out Osama bin Laden was on American grounds. ‘OH MY GOSH THIS IS A THREAT TO AMERICAN SECURITY!’ Blake Shelton transformed into a flying jeep with 2 huge American flags on the back and a cross painted on the back while ‘America, F**k yeah!’ Played in the background, he crashed into the White House instantly killing Osama, then continued to fly to Iraq.Baghdad, Iraq 🇮🇶The troops were going at it,mongols vs Americans vs Iraqis. Yet in the desert midst, Saddam picked up bush and kissed his lips while pressing on his belly. ‘I won’t leave you alone with this child.’ Said Saddam, bush smiled. Genghis khan watched from the distance, ‘those two lovebird’s armies won’t stand a chance against the glorious Mongolia’ he said with pride in his voice. So it’s true, Genghis’s troops won over both and Went westward and conquered the whole Middle East, the Iraqis still attempted to fight against the mongols but failed miserably.🇺🇸Washington DC, America- random longhorn steakhouse 🇺🇸Bush got on all fours on a table and screamed of pain and agony as he pushed out a baby, Saddam held his hand ‘it’s ok just one more push honey’ bush pushed the child and it flew out of his butt into the hands of none other than Vladimir Putin who was holding hands with Donald Trump. ‘I- bush-chan it’s not what you think! The baby flew into my hands!’ They both said at the same time, Saddam walked over and snatched it and growled at them, making sure to show his teeth. This made both Putin and trump question their life decisions. The end.
