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Jack was running. His chest hurt from binding all day but he didn't care. He had to get out of there. He had to.Fuck fuck fuck fuck why did he have to walk in now?? he thought to himself. Blood dripped from his arms, trickling on the tiled floor as he ran down the steps, through the lobby and out of the apartment complexHis feet thud against the concrete as he heard someone call his deadname.He just kept running.
If i hear Jasmine one more fucking time
He started running faster. Not out of fear like earlier, but anger. Angry that he would never be seen as a boy. Angry that he would never be able to feel like an actual boy. Angry that he would be envious of all the boys in his life for the rest of his life. Angry that he couldn't be himself.
He thought he had run for at least thirty minutes, every step sent a sharp pain through his leg but he couldn't stop. He had to keep going.“Excuse me..? Do you know what time it is” Jack asked, cringing at his voice. It was always too high, too squeaky. Too feminine.The man he was asking looked at his phone. God this man gave him so much gender envy. His curly hair, his beard, his everything.“Um yeah it's 11:45. Hey are your wrists okay?” He asked with a concerned expression on his face.“Um thank you.” He said, ignoring the question before running farther down the street.
He remembered looking at the time before running out of the apartment complex. it's only been 10 minutes?? He thought as he started running faster.
Why am I running so fast? I've never been this athletic…. He thought before slowing down and started wheezing. He hadn’t been able to run this fast since he started binding. He looked around for the first time and found himself on an unfamiliar street corner. He found a pizza place across the street and uncrumpled the 10 dollar bill in his pocket.Yes i have enough for at least a pizza and soda he smiled slightly as he crossed the street and walked in the place. He barely had any wiggle room as he ordered his Dr. Pepper and
his slice of pepperoni pizza. He left the line and tried to find an empty seat to wait in. He found only one but a girl was sitting at the opposite side of it.
Fuck this is going to be so awkward
He sat down at the other side of the table as the girl continued to type on her laptop. He just sat there and looked around, trying to get a good look at her face, only seeing her hair. He eventually gave up and got up to get his food.He ate all of his pizza and drank his soda while he noticed the girl look at him a couple times. He wanted to say something but he was always so nervous about talking to strangers.
“Hi.” He said softly while he looked down, not expecting her to hear him.“Hi!” She said warmly back while typing.He looked down to her arms to see a few bracelets on her arms, all with the trans flag on them. The blue pink and white shining in the sunlightHoly shit???
He thought to himself as he smiled.“I love your bracelets!!!” he said warmly and smiled brightly, the first time he had truly smiled in a while in a while.“Thanks!!! You're….” she leaned into the table as she moved her laptop to the side, saying “youre trans too!?!?!?” with her expression.“...Yes..!” He said nervously. He never said he was trans out loud. It felt so weird but…. so right.
“Cool!!! Are you going to NYC pride? I'm about to go I just wanted to get some food and study first” She smiles and puts her hair behind her ear, revealing little pride flag studs.“No I wasn't planning on going. I was just out on a walk and found this place. Also I love your earrings!!” He said loudly so he could drown out the other 50 people talking.
She’s so pretty. Wait I cant think like that I just fucking met her.
“Well, do you want to go with me?? I have no one else and it would be so cool if I had another trans person to talk to.” She starts to get up and tries to push in her chair.“Yeah sure i'll go with you. And allow me.” He giggles before getting up and pushes in her chair for her. He looked up to see that her face was red and he felt a blush growing on his face.“before we leave… what's your name?” He could barely speak because of how flustered he was but he managed to get that out.
“Alba. My name is Alba. What's your name” She rubs her neck and looks down to make her blush unnoticeable. She starts to walk towards the door, Jack right behind her.He thought about it for a second. “My name is Jack” He said with a smile as he opened the door for her. As soon as they get out he holds out his hand, regretting it immediately but then snapping out of it when he feels her hand on his.“Thanks Jack” She said before running down the street, pulling him with her.
God I love her already
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
They ran for at least half a mile until they made it to the barricades of the parade. They found an empty spot and looked down the street to see at least a dozen pride flags.
Albi reaches into her purse and grabs a folded up pride flag.
“I had brought a big ass trans flag so I could wrap it around me…” she started as she wrapped it around both of them and looked away so he couldn’t notice she was blushing hard. He noticed though and looked away so he could hide his blush too.
It was silent between them for a good minute before Jack spoke.
“It is kinda chilly” he muttered. He turned to her and smiled, ignoring the fact the blush on his face was still very visible.
She turned around and smiled back, her face still red
“Yeah… it is” she whispered to him, holding his hand as they heard performers coming down the street
~~~~
They left the parade at about 3 in the afternoon. They held hands as they ran back to Alba’s apartment.
“This was fun…” he said to her as they stood outside of her apartment building, looking directly at each other. He was trying to make it look like he wasn’t completely out of breath.
“Yeah… I hope we can hang out again” She smiles again as she starts to blush.
“Well I gotta start leaving”He says before looking down.
God this was is fucking awkward
“Yeah I understand” It was quiet for a while before alba suddenly hugged him very tightly.
“Thank you for coming with me.” She whispers in his chest. She was so warm and so comforting he never wanted to leave, he wanted to just stay there and soak it all in.
Then he noticed.
Fuck I can’t breath I can’t fucking breath
“Bye.. alba…thanks for… fuck I cant breath”
Maybe it was the binding, maybe it was being on his feet for way too long, maybe it was the run back to alba’s apartment. He didn’t know but suddenly he fell into alba’s arms, nearly unconscious.
“Fuck Jack are you ok?” She asked him as she dragged him into the apartment building.
“I’m sorry” was the last words Jack said before falling totally unconscious.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Jack woke up on someone’s sofa, the setting sun lighting the room in an orange hue.
“Fuck… where am I..?” he says as he sits up and held his head.
He looked around and realized he was in someone's room. He saw a trans flag hanging on the walls with hanging fairy lights, a bed with pink sheets with a shit ton of stuffed animals on it.
He heard the door open and saw Alba walk in.
“Oh hi…” He said while looking down. He was silently panicking, wondering what happened and how the fuck he got here.
“Hi jack.. You passed out before you were about to leave so I just brought you to my room” Alba smiled slightly as she sat next to him on the bed.
They sat awkwardly for a few moments.
“I think its time for me to go home, its getting too late my dad’s going to be mad at me” Jack started to get but then started to stumble a little
“
Let me help you
babe
” Alba whispered as she pulled his arm over her neck, hoping he wouldn't notice that she accidentally called him babe, but Jack noticed and he started blushing
hard
.
So hard his face was a tomato.
“Thanks” Jack stuttered out before walking out of Alba’s room with her. It took them at least 30 minutes before they got home because of how slow they were walking but it was worth it. They talked about the trans experience.
“How did you learn you were trans? For me it was being so envious of boys and then I learned about being trans and now here I am” he smiled shyly and ruffled his hair with his free hand.
“So my friend would always like to tell me how feminine I was and like I just slowly over time started identifying as a girl” she laughed and helped Jack ruffle his hair. They locked eyes and they both started blushing as they both looked away quickly.
They talked about how much they both liked Kanye West or how much Jack didn't like his dance classes. The only thing they were both thinking about was how much they loved the other.
They finally got to his apartment. Alba helped him walk in and Jack quietly introduced Alba to his dad
“It was lovely to meet you….. Alba?”
“Yes and it was nice to meet you too” She smiled widely as they made their way to Jack’s room. Jack quickly turned on his hanging lights before lying down on his bed.
“Does dysphoria ever make you…. want to completely die” He says blankly and he stared up to his ceiling.
“Yeah it does sometimes…. But I just keep on fighting” Alba says as she sits on the edge of his bed.
“What if you don't feel like fighting anymore”
“Then I'm here for you bro” She holds his hand and she looks at him with a hopeful expression
“Thanks”