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Kaz rolls his eyes the second Nikolai Lanstov closes the door to his hotel room.But his respite doesn’t last very long, because about two minutes later, Nikolai opens the door again and looks at Kaz.Kaz stares back at him impassively. Whatever the ambassador wants or needs is sure to be ridiculous.These kinds of requests always are.He’s not disappointed at a point where he really wanted to be disappointed.“Will you…stand guard inside the room?” Nikolai asks hesitantly.Kaz stares at him. “Why.”“Because you’re kind of useless if an assassin comes inside, and you’re outside,” he explains patiently enough.“Is your window locked?” Kaz asks instead of agreeing.“...yes?” Nikolai asks back.“Then I don’t need to be inside,” Kaz retorts comfortably. “This will be the only entrance into your room that needs to be guarded.”Nikolai looks doubtful. “Windows can be unlocked easily,” he pushes.“Maybe,” Kaz concedes. “But who cares about killing you enough to unlock a window with no balcony under it? They’d have to be incredibly flexible to get to that lock in the first place.” Not to mention the way they’d have to pick the lock as well, but Nikolai is frowning.“Am I paying you to be my bodyguard?” he asks rhetorically.Kaz pauses. “You are,” he says flatly, not liking where this is going.“Great,” Nikolai says a little brighter. “Then I’m paying you to be my bodyguard inside the room tonight.” He opens the door wider.Kaz stares at him. “Then who’ll guard the door?”Nikolai shrugs. “You could stand in front of the door so you could see the window and block the door at the same time.” The way he says it makes Kaz wonder how thoroughly he thought this plan through before presenting it to Kaz in the first place.Kaz stares at him some more. ”Fine,” he grumbles, stomping into the room.Nikolai glances at his leg and cane. “Do you need to sit down —?”“— no,” Kaz snaps as he closes the door again.“Okay,” Nikolai says flippantly. “Forget I asked.”Nikolai is obviously preparing to go to bed: brushing his teeth in the bathroom — albeit with the door open so Kaz can see him, taking what looks like might be a sleeping pill of some kind, swapping out his more formal suit coat for a more pajama looking shirt.He’s talking to Kaz about something that he doesn’t bother to tune into to know what it is, and Kaz says nothing.Well, Kaz says nothing, until Nikolai suddenly strips his shirt off entirely and Kaz’s eyes gaze down at his bared chest for a couple distracted seconds while Nikolai is donning a new shirt. He’s not paying any attention to the effect he’s having on Kaz, which irks him more than it probably should.“Must you do that?” Kaz snarls, ripping his eyes up to Nikolai’s face.Nikolai looks over at him, startled. “...do what?” he asks, sounding genuinely confused.Kaz waves him off. “Never mind,” he scowls.Nikolai nods slowly before going to lay down on the bed. He folds the covers over his legs as he settles down.Kaz watches him, impassively as always, while he gets comfortable.He turns his body so he can look at Kaz.Kaz’s eyes find other places to be.Nikolai is still staring at him, it seems, because suddenly he says, “Comfy over there?”Kaz nods curtly, standing guard as professionally as the job requires him to. He holds his cane casually in front of him.Nikolai makes a noise and there’s loud rustling as he rolls over so his back is to Kaz.Kaz hears his breathing even out. That’s when he looks back at him, when he’s certain the ambassador isn’t looking at Kaz anymore.He’s actually so busy watching Nikolai sleep, watching his sides rise and fall with his lungs, watching as he twitches occasionally, watching how his blond hair lays over the white pillowcase, that he almost misses the quiet click of a lock disengaging.When he registers it, he stands stiffly, determined not to make any noise while his eyes rove the room instead of Nikolai’s prone figure, and — there! There’s a shadow in the corner of the room, creeping along the wall toward Nikolai’s sleeping form. The window is slightly ajar.Kaz almost groans aloud. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me right now,” he mutters under his breath as he creeps forward.They both reach the bed at the same time, albeit on opposite sides.The assassin sees Kaz and freezes.Kaz raises his cane.The assassin narrows their eyes and in a split second, throws a knife at his head.He ducks, but by the time he’s standing up straight again to the tune of the knife thudding into the wall behind him, the assassin has another knife in hand. They’re coming closer to Nikolai, acting in smooth, unhurried movements.Kaz hefts his cane and swings it. His cane beak hooks onto the assassin’s arm so he can rip it away from Nikolai.The assassin cries out.Their cry is muffled by their face covering, but Nikolai still wakes up at that.He at least has the good sense to freeze under where Kaz is swinging his cane back around to brain the assassin.The weighted handle cracks against the side of their head. They make no noise as they crumple to the ground.Kaz comes around the bed, crouching to make certain they’re out cold if not dead.They’re unfortunately still breathing, but before Kaz can remedy that detail, his earpiece buzzes with Jesper’s indistinct voice.Kaz sighs, reluctantly turning his earpiece back on. He’d turned it off ages ago, so nothing he said could be picked up by the other bodyguards. “Can I get backup? The hitman’s out cold, but needs to be removed from the premises,” he says clearly as he stands up straight again.“You got it,” is all Jesper says before Kaz turns his earpiece off again. He doesn’t need it anymore, after all.Nikolai rubs at his eyes, presumably to try to wake up better while Kaz goes to unlock the door.A minute later, Jesper and Matthias come in, hauling the hitman’s body out silently.Kaz locks the door behind them and resumes his position.Nikolai is staring at him. Why though, is unclear, even as he speaks. “...what are you doing?”Kaz looks at him with picture perfect neutrality. “...standing guard?” he says rhetorically.“After beating up an assassin?” Nikolai pesters incredulously.Kaz shrugs. “Well, yeah. That’s the job,” he says pointedly.Nikolai is looking at him funny. “You don’t…get a break?”Kaz stares at him. “Do your assassins take breaks?”Nikolai considers that. “I guess not. But I’m not going to be able to go back to sleep now, at least not tonight.” He’s sitting up now, turning a harsh light on.Kaz doesn’t say anything as Nikolai gets up and goes into the bathroom, actually closing the door. A few minutes later, the shower turns on.Kaz is almost content just letting him do that.But his racing mind won’t shut up and all he can think is, there better not be any windows in there. Instead of asking the person inside the potentially problematic room, he turns his earpiece back on. “Jesper. Do the bathrooms here have windows?”“I think so, little ones,” is the unsatisfactory response.Kaz sighs deeply and goes to the bathroom door.He knocks.Nikolai doesn’t answer.He knocks again.“Yes?”“How big is the window in there?” Kaz calls through the door.Nikolai pauses. “Big enough that a small person could come through it, I suppose.”Kaz sighs again. “Fine. Tell me if a small person comes through it,” he directs through gritted teeth.“Or you could come inside the bathroom,” Nikolai suggests over the sound of the shower continuing.“No,” Kaz declines immediately.Nikolai laughs, a rich sound that Kaz’s body has a strange reaction to. He seems to freeze and relax at the same time in varying places. “Why don’t you come inside?”Kaz sighs a third time. Technically this guy is his boss, so…Kaz slips inside, shutting the door behind him. The air is humid, but not too wet right now. He stands with his back against the bathroom door so he can see the window above the shower as well.Nikolai showers for a while longer before shutting the water off. “Can you hand me the towel?”Kaz keeps up his record streak of sighing and carefully hands Nikolai the towel past the curtain. His gloved hand is steady despite the sudden spike of anxiety that comes with this action.Nikolai takes it from him.Kaz withdraws his hand as quickly as possible.Nikolai whips the curtain back and Kaz blinks rapidly as if the ambassador has suddenly shone a magnificent light into his eyes.He tries not to stare at Nikolai’s bare, wet chest. But it seems he’s failed that particular goal because Nikolai smirks and walks past him to grab his clothes.Kaz doesn’t watch him get dressed — because that would be weird and bad — instead focusing on the window again.And it’s a good thing he did that, because as Nikolai moves behind his head, someone comes crawling through the fucking window.Kaz swings his cane as an extension of his arm, braining this person too.Nikolai backed up against the far wall the second Kaz stepped toward the window to attack, but now that that’s taken care of, Kaz opens the door for him.“Out, out, out,” he ushers him through, turning that damn earpiece back on. “We got another one. Bathroom. Come get them.”They’ve both entered the bedroom again by the time Jesper and Matthias make it back to grab the would-be assassin. Nikolai is toweling off his hair until it’s fluffy and a little messed up in a way that makes Kaz need to grit his teeth again.As they’re lugging the body out, Jesper pauses next to Kaz. “Do you need someone else to come help —?”“— I’m fine,” Kaz says shortly.Jesper nods, leaving with Matthias and the unconscious body between them.Kaz turns back to watch Nikolai pull a tshirt on over his hair.Nikolai saunters over to him. “Now do you get a break?”Kaz regards him stiffly. “No. Now I really don’t get one.”Nikolai looks…disappointed?That can’t be right.Kaz exhales sharply. “What do you want.”Nikolai’s eyebrows scrunch. “...what do you mean?”“You want me to take a break,” Kaz says leadingly. “Why.”Nikolai shrugs. “Maybe I’m just trying to make sure you get a break,” he tries.Kaz frowns. “No, that’s not it.”Nikolai smirks. “Maybe I want you to do something specific with your break.”Kaz raises an eyebrow. “And what would that be?”Nikolai grins. “I wanna talk to you.”Kaz pauses. “You can talk to me while I’m on guard,” he says resignedly.“Am I supposed to?” is the pointed response.“...no,” Kaz admits.Nikolai looks at him triumphantly.“But my breaks aren’t supposed to be in your presence anyway,” Kaz says harshly. “So either way, discussions between us should not be happening.”Nikolai nods solemnly now. “Oh, I see. Well, as your employer, I say you get to talk to me whenever you want to.”“Maybe I don’t want to talk to you ever,” Kaz spits.Nikolai smiles. “Maybe that’s not true,” he says softly.Kaz blinks at him. “Of course it’s true —”“Yeah,” Nikolai says sardonically. “And you super weren’t checking me out earlier.”Kaz scowls. “You’re right. I wasn’t,” he says stubbornly.“Now, Kaz,” Nikolai says placatingly. “Let’s not lie to each other. It sets a bad precedent.”Kaz continues to frown. “Either talk to me or don’t, but stop trying to corner me,” he hisses.Nikolai looks surprised. “Corner you?” he squeaks.Kaz levels a glare at him.“I’m not…I’m not trying to corner you,” he says slowly, as if trying to figure out where his intentions got misconstrued. “I’m trying to tease you.”Kaz frowns deeper. “...tease me.”Nikolai nods and sits down on the edge of the bed, his shirt still open.Kaz’s eyes stray down until he forces them back up to Nikolai’s grinning face. He narrows his eyes at the blatant mirth sitting on his smug face."Yeah," Nikolai agrees. “Tease you. You know. Flirt with you.”Kaz’s brain is shutting down a little. “Don’t do that,” he snaps.Nikolai cocks his head infuriatingly. “Why not?”“Because,” Kaz says firmly. “You’re my employer. So it would be extremely inappropriate.”Nikolai nods along for a minute before saying, in a light tone, “Right, right. Well, I think it would only be inappropriate if I made a move on you,” he challenges.Kaz wants to roll his eyes, but keeps them steady instead. “Pretty sure flirting with someone is making a move,” he says dryly.Nikolai smirks. “Is it?”Kaz stares at him. “Yes.”“I don’t know about that,” Nikolai says flippantly. “But that’s okay. If you’d like me to stop, I’ll stop.”Kaz almost can’t believe it’s that easy. He’s wary about some kind of verbal trap, but he answers anyway. “...you should stop.”Nikolai nods and gets up.Kaz, for a split second, thinks he’s going to come up to where Kaz is posted against the door again. His heart reacts accordingly.But actually, Nikolai just goes to the desk in the corner, pulling out a stack of papers. He begins to write on them.Kaz watches him.At some point, Nikolai looks up. “You can sit down, you know. If you’d like to.”“I don’t want to sit down,” Kaz tells him automatically.Nikolai nods and goes back to his work.But standing and fighting like this is actually making his knee protest. And he really should sit.But that would be caving to Nikolai.And he doesn’t want to do that.So he doesn’t.And he doesn’t.And he doesn’t.And he — oh fuck, his knee hurts a lot. But no. He’s not going to sit, because this is The Job. And if he can’t even do The Job, then why is he here?Nikolai looks up again, eyeing him. “Kaz. You can sit down.”Kaz glares at him, at the implication that he is too weak for this work.“You can sit on the bed or I can move and you can sit on this chair,” Nikolai offers calmly.Kaz continues to glare as he accepts neither of those offers and sits on the ground.Jesper is in his ear when he turns his earpiece back on to avoid having to listen to Nikolai any longer.“— move him, for his safety. We just have to —“Jesper keeps talking.Kaz stops listening.Nikolai stares at where he’s settling on the ground for a long minute before going back to his work. “What are the chances two assassins independently came for me in one night?” He says conversationally.Kaz glances at him. “Slim. Why.”Nikolai shrugs. “I’m just wondering if that’s all for tonight —““— we’re probably going to move you to either a different room or a new hotel in a few minutes,” Kaz interrupts to inform him. “Hopefully that will cut down on the amount of assassins able to come for you, if there were in fact any more of them.”Nikolai nods along.Someone knocks on the door.Kaz stands back up, looking through the peephole, and lets Matthias in.“We’re moving to a new hotel. Lantsov? Get your things?” Matthias says briskly.Nikolai nods, grabbing his small suitcase and shoving his used clothes from the bathroom into the side pocket. He considers something before snatching up the paper he’d been writing on off the desk. He folds it and puts it into his pocket. He grins at Kaz.Kaz turns away so he can roll his eyes.Matthias leads them out to the car. Kaz brings up the rear.Nikolai gets into the car.Kaz steps back, but before he can close the door, Nikolai pipes up.“You know, I’d really feel safer if Kaz were to ride in here with me,” he says casually.Kaz stares at him. “Matthias can do it —“ he begins dismissively.“— I’m sorry, did I say Matthias? I do believe I said Kaz,” Nikolai cuts in sharply.Matthias glances at Kaz, who is glaring at the ambassador now.“Pay me double and I will,” he challenges.Nikolai shrugs. “Okay,” he agrees instantly.Kaz wonders if he should’ve said triple instead, but he sighs and gets in after Nikolai.Nikolai sits on the left. Kaz sits on the right. Nikolai is sprawled out across his seat. Kaz perches on the edge of the bench.They ride in silence until Nikolai asks him a strange question.“Why’d you take this job?”Kaz glanced at him. “Why does that matter?”“Because,” Nikolai says lazily. “You don’t seem to like me very much, and I don’t know why you would take a job that you don’t like.”Kaz doesn’t react. He forces himself not to, at least. “…because the pay was good,” he tells him tightly.Nikolai nods. “Ah. I see. Well, let me know if you’d like to blackmail me for even more,” he says flippantly.Kaz raises an eyebrow at him. “I’m not blackmailing you, I’m extorting you.”Nikolai laughs.Kaz frowns as his chest grows tighter than his own tone in a split second.“Oh, right, sorry, my bad,” Nikolai agrees. “I’ll be sure to label your crimes more accurately next time.” He’s looking at Kaz again, studying him intently.Kaz inclines his head in response.They don’t say anything else for the rest of the trip.They pull up to the new hotel fairly quickly.Kaz’s door is closest to the doors, so he gets out first, ahead of Nikolai.He’s doing his due diligence and scanning the surrounding rooftops while Nikolai gets out behind him.Kaz narrows his eyes at what looks like a sniper rifle on a rooftop over to the right. He turns on his earpiece. “Sniper, two o’clock, don’t think it’s one of ours,” he tells Jesper.“Sniper?” Jesper asks incredulously.So, not one of theirs.Kaz turns on his heel. “Get back in,” he orders Nikolai.Nikolai shoots him a confused look and opens his mouth.Kaz does the thing he’s probably not supposed to do and shoves Nikolai back. His gloved hands come in contact with Nikolai’s solid chest. But it’s fleeting enough that he can handle the sudden spike of nausea.Nikolai stumbles back.Kaz steps forward to shove him again.The side of Kaz’s neck suddenly stings.His body stops responding to his internal directions.He can hear Nikolai shouting near him.“Kaz!”He’s trying to clear his blurring vision to no avail.Impact jolts up his body when he lands hard on his knees. He’s dizzy. He’s beyond dizzy. He’s disoriented beyond belief.There’s definitely something sticking out of his neck right now.Someone touches him.He almost projectile vomits right then and there. Instead, just his mouth is filled with the acrid taste of puke.His hazy eyes catch sight of Nikolai frowning with concern.It takes him far too long to register that Nikolai is holding him half upright by looping his arms under Kaz’s.But the second he registers that someone is truly touching him is the second he passes out and he doesn’t know what happens after that.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Kaz blinks awake.He’s laying on a bed. His body feels heavy as fuck. Like his limbs are made of solid metal or rock or something equally dense.But his eyes can move. So that’s what he moves.The first thing he sees is Nikolai, and his heart jumps at the sight, which is odd. Probably it’s just his brain registering that the last thing he saw before passing out was the ambassador.Nikolai is talking to Jesper in front of the bed Kaz lays on.He doesn’t recognize this room, so this must be the replacement hotel.Jesper talks in a low tone that Kaz can’t quite hear.Kaz swings his focus over to where Matthias guards the door.Nikolai suddenly speaks up, and his attention is ripped away from his coworker to land on their current boss. “So taking him to the hospital is out of the question,” he says resignedly.“Correct,” Jesper agrees.Nikolai sighs. “Do we know what it was?”“We’re analyzing it right now,” Jesper assures him.Nikolai runs his hand through his tall blond hair. Kaz vaguely thinks how attractive he personally finds that movement. How attractive he finds it, as long as it’s being done by Nikolai.But that is a silly concept, so his brain drops it almost immediately after presenting it.Nikolai looks over at him. Their eyes meet. Nikolai brightens, which is odd, but then he comes over to Kaz’s side. “Hey,” he says gently. “How’re you feeling?”Kaz tries to open his mouth, but he can’t even manage that. Even his tongue refuses to function properly. Finding himself completely unable to verbally communicate, he ends up just halfheartedly glaring at Nikolai.Nikolai smiles. “It’s okay. You don’t have to answer right now if you can’t.”Kaz blinks as fast as he can, which doesn’t feel very fast.One of his other coworkers comes in. “Mr. Fahey? They got the results back?”Nikolai leaves Kaz’s side to join Jesper in receiving the results.Kaz’s heart drops and he’s getting something like sad that Nikolai is deserting him right now.Then he tries to frown. He shouldn’t be sad about anything, let alone Nikolai’s departure. His brow furrows as his anger at himself builds.Then his anger morphs to be more about how Jesper and Nikolai haven’t told him the results.Nikolai sucks in a breath, earning Kaz’s undivided attention again.Jesper looks serious.“Wait,” Nikolai says slowly. “Isn’t that what they use for lethal injections?”Jesper’s face stays grim. “Correct,” he agrees.Kaz is finally able to make a muffled noise in the back of his throat. That gets their attention again, at least.Nikolai comes over, before turning back to ask Jesper, “Can I tell him?”Jesper shrugs. “If you’d like to,” he says dismissively.Nikolai looks at Kaz. “You were shot with something that paralyzes you. It also had a sedative in it.”Kaz does his best to cock his eyebrow. He doesn't know how well he succeeds until Nikolai gives a little laugh and his body is flooded with hot tingles.“Let me read you them, hang on,” he says, gesturing to Jesper for the paper that presumably has the drug report on it.Jesper gives it to him immediately.Nikolai brings the paper up in front of his face to read off of it. “Ve-cur-on-i-um bro-mide and…mid-az-o-lam,” he reads aloud.Kaz tries to frown again. He thinks he actually manages it this time before cocking his eyebrow again in a question.Nikolai looks up at him. “You should be okay to talk in about an hour, but hopefully before then. It’ll probably still fuck the rest of you up for a while, though. We’ll stay with you.”Kaz shakes his head just a little. Just enough to deny that particular plan.“You…don’t want anyone to stay with you?” Nikolai ventures hesitantly.Kaz stares at him.“Hey, Jesper,” Nikolai calls over. “I’ll just stay with him. You and Matthias can stand guard outside?”Jesper looks over at Kaz.Kaz stares at him now.Jesper shrugs. “Alright. Shout if you need anything.” He and Matthias close the door behind themselves, leaving a still paralyzed Kaz with Nikolai, who pulls up a chair next to the bed.Nikolai looks over at him.Kaz looks back over at him. He tries to speak again, but all that comes out is a long, drawn out groan that conveys nothing.Nikolai looks sympathetic about it. “Hey, I’m so sorry. That looks like it sucks,” he grimaces.Kaz nods a little.“I can’t believe I had three assassins tonight in the span of, like, two hours. Why do they want to kill me so damn bad?” Nikolai mutters under his breath.Kaz wants to say, “Probably because you’re annoying but also powerful, which is a frustrating combination,” but he can’t even form the first syllable of the first word. So instead, he just scowls at Nikolai.“Let me know when you can talk again, yeah?” Nikolai verifies.Kaz stares at him for a long minute before nodding slowly.They lay and sit there respectively. It might’ve been an hour, it might’ve been two, it might’ve a half.But Kaz is done with the whole Not Being Able To Talk part of this whole thing, so he finally tries to talk again.His voice sounds even more fucked up than usual, but he’s able to say, “Can…talk…now,” in the most drunken slurring voice he’s ever produced, intoxicated or otherwise.Nikolai nods calmly. “Good. Can you move your toes?”Kaz concentrates, then shakes his head. “Don’t…think…so.”“How about your fingers? Not your arm, just your fingers,” Nikolai suggests.Kaz focuses hard again, watching as his right pinky eventually twitches.Nikolai, at least, looks delighted.But Kaz is exhausted from fucking twitching his goddamn pinky, so he closes his eyes to the world.“Oh no,” Nikolai’s voice tells him firmly. “Don’t fall asleep on me, I don’t want you to die because you forgot to breathe.”Kaz opens his eyes to glare at Nikolai. He forces his mouth into a scowl. “Won’t…forget. Good…mem…or…y,” he gets out, words drenched in as much sarcasm as his numb tongue will allow.“Not your brain. Your body,” Nikolai says, and Kaz gets a random chill down his spine. Probably just another side effect of the midazolam or something. “Your body might forget to breathe.”Kaz stares at him before finally deciding to keep his eyes open and focus on breathing.Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out —He’s suddenly overwhelmed with panic about being totally paralyzed.Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out.He’s trying to get his not-normally-this-faulty lungs to cooperate when Nikolai’s voice speaks up again.“Kaz. Hey, Kaz. You’re drifting away on me,” he says calmly. “You gotta stay awake, remember?”Kaz nods jerkily, forcing his eyes to stay open. The midazolam is still fucking him up, it seems. “Talk…to…me. Keep…me…a…wake,” he orders.Nikolai grins. “Okay. I can do that. How about we have a conversation? So you have to participate, yes?”Kaz nods wearily. Whatever.“Cool,” Nikolai says cheerfully. “Do you have a romantic partner?”Kaz rolls his eyes so slowly he might as well have not. “Not…this…again,” he groans.“Oh, yeah. We’re doing this again. So? Do you?” Nikolai pesters.Kaz sighs harshly. “...no.”“Okay,” Nikolai looks far too excited about that. “Ever had one?”Kaz narrows his eyes. “Why…does…that…matt…er?”Nikolai shrugs. “Just trying to gauge a couple things.”“Like…what?” Kaz spits.“Like, do you like guys?” Nikolai says straight up.Kaz stares at him. “I…can…like…guys…but…not…like…you,” he retorts thickly.Nikolai grins at that. “Oh, I’m sure,” he placates. “But that doesn’t change the fact that you stepped in front of a poisoned dart for me.”Kaz rolls his eyes again, a little faster this time. “That’s…the…job…ass…hole.”Nikolai laughs and Kaz gets that weird side effect again. “No, actually, it’s not. The job is, make sure no one gets shot with a poisoned dart.”Kaz shakes his head. “No. The…job…is…to…make…sure…you...don’t…get…shot…with…any…thing, poi…soned…dart…or…other…wise.”“Maybe,” Nikolai half concedes.“Yes. That’s…it,” Kaz growls.“Either way, you’re mighty attractive when you’re saving me,” Nikolai continues like he didn’t say anything.Kaz stares at him. His toes twitch. Nikolai doesn’t see it since Kaz’s shoes are still on, so only Kaz knows that it happened. Maybe if he gets the rest of his control of his body, he can leave this odd man’s presence and the weirdness of the situation. “What are…you talking…about?”Nikolai straightens his shoulders. “You’ve saved me three times tonight, and you looked hella hot doing it,” he says matter of factly.Kaz blinks at him. “Yes…that’s. The. Fucking. Job.” “Maybe,” Nikolai shrugs.“Stop…saying…that,” Kaz demands.Nikolai grins. “No. Besides, you don’t get to tell me what to do,” he finishes triumphantly.“Oh, and you…get to…tell…me? What to do?” Kaz retorts.“Yes,” Nikolai says simply enough that Kaz registers glumly how true that is. “But I’m not going to force you to do anything.”Kaz rolls his eyes again, this time much faster. “Oh. What a…relief.” His tongue is getting easier to control now.“Oh, don’t be like that,” Nikolai very nearly pouts. “I can certainly suggest that you do something, but you don't have to do jack shit.”Kaz stares at him. “Hmm.” He tries to move his toes again — just his toes, no sense in alerting Nikolai — but he ends up shifting his entire leg to the side.“Oh, good!” Nikolai says brightly. “You’re getting there.” He beams at Kaz.Kaz’s brain keeps abandoning him, leaving him for dead, and now is no different. “Hmm,” he repeats. His arm jerks up when he tries to move his hand.Nikolai looks pleased, at least.“Give me, like, ten minutes, and I’ll get back on the clock,” Kaz tells him gruffly. Surely Jesper clocked him out the second he got shot —?Nikolai looks shocked. “Uh, no?”Kaz eyes him. “What do you mean, ‘no?’” He asks as his hips thrust upward awkwardly when he tries to shift his entire right leg.“Once you’re not paralyzed anymore, you’re going home,” Nikolai counters, sounding incredulous.Kaz shakes his head. “Wrong,” he says tartly. His shoulder rotates a little, thankfully at his actual command this time.“Kaz,” Nikolai says sharply enough that Kaz glances at him. “You can’t not take a break, you got shot.” Kaz shrugs with both shoulders, also on purpose. “That’s the job,” he echoes himself stubbornly.Nikolai sighs, sounding exasperated. “Kaz, as your employer, I am telling you, you have the next three days off at least.” Kaz frowns. “No.”“Kaz, why wouldn’t you take the next few days off?” Nikolai tries to wheedle out of him.“Because,” Kaz says shortly. “I don’t need them. But I do need the pay.”Nikolai looks…alarmed? “Wait. You’re refusing to take time off that you desperately need because…it wouldn’t be paid time off?” Now he’s definitely incredulous.Kaz shrugs with one shoulder. “Basically, yeah.”Nikolai’s exasperation is getting more visible, in his eyebrows, his eyes, his frown. “Kaz. I will pay for you to take time off,” he tells him flatly. “But you’re not coming to work for the next three days at least. Okay?”Kaz narrows his eyes at him. “What’s the catch?”“Nothing. No catch. You just…get paid time off,” Nikolai informs him wearily.Kaz studies him before nodding curtly and trying to sit up.He kind of manages it, but Nikolai puts his hands out like that’s an effective way to stop him.“Whoa, whoa, whoa, Kaz, lay back down,” he orders.“No, I’m fine —“ Kaz begins before dizziness overtakes him the second he hits just the wrong angle. He falls back across the covers, his body bouncing a little against the mattress.“Told you,” Nikolai says in a tone Kaz isn’t sure if he likes.Kaz scowls. “Whatever. Where’s my cane?”Nikolai hands him his cane.He grabs it, holding it as tightly as he can in his gloved hands.“Okay. Do you want me to get Jesper in here? Help you get home?” Nikolai suggests.Kaz shakes his head. “No. I can get there by myself —““— Kaz, you’re not driving,” Nikolai denies. “You’re still drugged up from almost dying, and you’re not walking on that knee of yours, you landed really hard on it when you fell, and it’s 3 in the morning, and also did I mention that you almost died three hours ago?”Kaz shrugs. “I can walk.” He tries to get up again.“Can you please let someone take you home?” Nikolai begs.“Why?” Kaz snaps. “So they can know where I live? I think not.” He’s trying to use his cane to help pull himself upright, but it’s not going very well.Nikolai blinks. “…why would it matter if someone knows where you live?”Kaz doesn’t answer. He is entirely too busy sitting up unsteadily. His head is still spinning, but he’s sitting up at least. He tries to swing his legs over the side of the bed.Nikolai stands in front of him so he can’t stand up. “Kaz, I’m not letting you leave until you let someone take you home.”Kaz scowls. “Not in the mood for this, Lantsov,” he growls.“Well, I’m not in the mood for this, Brekker,” Nikolai snaps back.Kaz eyes him hard. “You can drop me off in the neighborhood, I guess,” he concedes harshly.“I can?” Nikolai asks. “Or Jesper can?”Kaz hesitates. He’s trying to get his brain to think everything through, but that seems a nearly impossible task at the moment.“Okay, come on, let’s get you out to my car —“ Nikolai seems to take his silence for assent. He attempts to wrap his arm under Kaz’s.Kaz dodges him entirely.“Kaz —“ Nikolai begins.Kaz shakes his head. “— you can’t touch me,” he pants.“Oh. Right,” Nikolai says in a small voice. “I forgot, Jesper said that.”Kaz looks at him curiously. He didn’t hear Jesper tell Nikolai anything obviously about Kaz — except perhaps the hospital part — so he must’ve said something while Kaz was passed out.“Jesper said you have haphe…haphephobia? I think he said?” Nikolai hedges.Kaz nods curtly. “Yes. So you can’t touch me.”Nikolai gestures vaguely at him. “Kaz, your cane is not going to be able to be your sole support to the car,” he tells him matter of factly.“It’s fine,” Kaz says furiously, waiting for Nikolai to stand back.He eventually, reluctantly does.Kaz stands. He takes a single step forward before crumpling to the ground. His hand is still on his cane handle above his head now, but he’s still trying to breathe sharply through the throbbing pain in his right knee from all this falling.Nikolai kneels in front of him. He’s talking to him, so he tries to focus on what Nikolai is even saying. “…Kaz, can we get a stretcher or something in here? A wheelchair? A gurney? Something to get you outside?”Kaz shakes his head. “No. I’m. Fine,” he spits through gritted teeth.“Bullshit,” Nikolai says immediately. “Tell you what: why don’t you stay the night here, in this hotel room, and we’ll get you home later, yeah?”Kaz pauses. “No. I can’t afford this hotel room,” is what his muddled brain comes up with.It’s true, though, he kind of can’t. All of the hotels any of his bosses have ever used have been fancy and expensive as shit.Nikolai rolls his eyes. “I’m paying, alright? Just get back in the goddamn bed?”Kaz studies him longer than he had earlier. Finally he gets to his feet slowly, grunting the whole way up. He sways unsteadily for a minute. Then he sits back down on the edge of the bed. It’s a relief his knee and head both appreciate.“Okay. Let’s get you ready for bed,” Nikolai tells him.Kaz doesn’t know what that’s supposed to mean until Nikolai stoops down and starts to untie his shoes.Kaz can’t even stop him. He just watches while Nikolai unties both of his shoes and slips them off his feet, careful not to touch even his socks.Nikolai carefully extracts his cane from his hand, putting it on the other side of the bed. He props the crow head up with a pillow like it’s a person. Then he pulls the covers back for Kaz.Kaz stares at where he’s pulled up the corner of the blanket.“Can you get under?” Nikolai asks kindly.Kaz nods slowly, a little numbly. Everything is happening simultaneously too fast and too slow. He carefully gets under the sheets. He then lets Nikolai basically tuck him in because he’s too dizzy to even pull up the sheets to his chin himself.It feels comforting, in an odd way.Kaz watches Nikolai sit back down on that chair before closing his tired eyes.“You’re okay, just sleep it off a little,” Nikolai’s voice tells him in a soothing tone. “You’re okay, you’ll feel better later.”Kaz fully closes his eyes so Nikolai’s soft voice carries him into his dreamless dreams.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Kaz wakes up. His eyes stare at the ceiling, trying to decide where he is.Oh. Right. The hotel.He feels much less tired now, which is a relief. An even bigger relief is that he didn’t have a single nightmare.Probably he was far too drugged up for all that.But when he tries to move his body, it actually obeys this time. So he gets up, tossing the sheets over his body aside and swinging his legs over the side of the bed.He stops short.Nikolai is asleep in the chair he’d been sitting in last night. His head is tipped back, his mouth slightly open, his blond eyelashes fluttering wildly. His legs are spread apart with his hands hanging over his thighs.Kaz has to swallow down whatever emotion he just got from looking at Nikolai positioned like that in favor of trying to get up. He puts his shoes back on.He’s using his cane to shuffle-limp past Nikolai, and he’s actually made it halfway across the room to the door when Nikolai says, through a yawn, “Ready to go?”Kaz shoots him a look. “Yes. I’m going home. Hopefully Jesper brought my car over here. Bye.” He continues to the door.“If you think you’re driving a car anywhere, you are sorely mistaken,” Nikolai says, getting to his feet gracefully.Kaz watches him warily as he saunters over to him.“Gimme your car keys,” Nikolai says pleasantly, holding out a hand.“No,” Kaz says instantly. “Back off.”“Kaz. Keys,” Nikolai says sternly.Kaz shakes his head, which just makes him dizzy again. “No. Back off,” he says through gritted teeth.Nikolai’s voice is soft now. “I can just drop you off in your neighborhood, if that’s okay. But you’re not driving yourself home right now.”Kaz studies him. “Fine,” he finally hisses.Nikolai brightens as Kaz slaps the keys into his awaiting hand with unnecessary force. He doesn’t react to something that was probably kind of painful.Kaz sighs and lets Nikolai escort him to the fancy car.“We have to go get my car, it’s at the other hotel,” Kaz tells him, his tongue suddenly thick again.“Okay,” Nikolai says as they get into the back seat of the limousine.Matthias slides into the driver’s seat and drives them over.Kaz is uncomfortably aware the whole time that Nikolai has his car keys, so he can’t just ditch him when they get there.Nikolai is just…smiling at him now.Kaz frowns and tries to ignore him.They get to the backlot of the first hotel, Matthias swinging Nikolai’s car around the back to where Kaz’s black car sits.“Okay,” Nikolai says as they park next to it. “Out we go.”Kaz awkwardly and unsteadily gets out, almost tripping on nothing in particular on his way past the open door.Nikolai chirps Kaz’s car to unlock it.Kaz reluctantly gets into the passenger’s seat, allowing Nikolai to slip into the driver’s.“Is someone going to be your bodyguard on the way to my apartment?” Kaz asks, maybe a little snidely.Nikolai shrugs. “Matthias will, probably,” he says flippantly, pulling out of the parking space far smoother than someone who had people drive him everywhere should've been able to manage.Kaz cocks an eyebrow. “You don’t know?” Now he’s being snide.Nikolai shrugs again. “Someone’s always tailing me,” he says frankly. “Why would now be any different?”Kaz grumbles to himself. “Take the next left,” he says resignedly.When they reach Kaz’s neighborhood, he has Nikolai pull alongside the curb in front of the apartment complex next to the one he lives in.“I’ll put it into the parking garage later,” Kaz says dismissively as he gets out.He sees Nikolai nod out of the corner of his eye before the fucker gets out with him. He follows Kaz up the sidewalk with that infernal look of concern on his brow.Kaz glares at him. “What do you think you’re doing?” He snaps, leaning on his cane more than usual.Nikolai shrugs for the five millionth time. “Making sure you get home alright,” he says.Kaz narrows his eyes. “I didn’t agree to that,” he spits.Nikolai just grins. “I know. Lead the way, Brekker.”Kaz frowns and limps down the sidewalk.Nikolai follows him.He’s trying to decide if he should crash at Inej’s place instead. Surely people barge into their neighbors’ apartments at 7:34 am on a Sunday after getting shot with what was essentially a tranquilizer dart the night before?But no. Showing up to Inej’s unannounced is always a bad idea; unless he wants a knife to the throat, which he doesn’t.Behind Nikolai, Kaz can see Matthias tailing them in the limousine.Kaz sighs and cuts across someone's lawn to get to his back door. He gestures at the back of the building. “This is it. I’m home. Now go away,” he says maybe too loudly.Nikolai does indeed start to step away — although he’s opening his mouth to say something probably inane.That’s when Kaz hears a gun go off.He rushes forward, knocking Nikolai to the ground.Nikolai makes a small noise Kaz chooses to ignore entirely as he pushes himself off of Nikolai’s now prone body.They’re both huddled behind a communal garbage dumpster. Kaz is panting; it sounds like Nikolai is starting to hyperventilate.“Do you have a gun on you?” Kaz asks Nikolai sharply.Nikolai shakes his head.“Fuck,” Kaz mutters. He peers around the dumpster looking for the gunman.His head feels suddenly much clearer — adrenaline will do that, he thinks ruefully.He sees Matthias crouching behind Nikolai’s car. Matthias has a gun in his hands, but if he’s in any way a competent bodyguard, he’ll have another one on his person. “Matthias!” he hisses through gritted teeth.Matthias looks toward him.Kaz mimes a gun, beckoning at him.Matthias nods, grabbing another gun from his ankle holster. He slides it across the sidewalk, the weapon stopping short of its destination.Kaz has to lunge forward a little to grab it out from the open.When he does, the gunman shoots at him as well.They miss, thankfully, but now Kaz has a weapon — his cane is next to his back door right now; he’d dropped it when he ran at Nikolai. He tucks the gun into the back of his pants, turning around to see where Nikolai’s elbows are scraped and bleeding.But Nikolai isn’t paying attention to that. He’s looking at Kaz like he’s never seen him before.“Here are the house keys,” Kaz tosses the keyring to his awaiting hands. “Apartment 6. You’re going to go inside now.” “How the fuck am I doing that?” Nikolai protests. “There’s no cover.”It’s true: between Kaz’s back door and the dumpster they’re currently hiding behind, there isn’t any other structure suitable for cover of one man let alone two.Kaz wants to hit something. “I’ll cover you. Go.” He gestures at the back door.Nikolai stares at him.“Nikolai, for once in your goddamn life, can you just do as you’re told?” Kaz snarls, drawing the gun out of his belt again.Nikolai sighs and starts to get out from behind the dumpster.Kaz walks backward, aiming Matthias’ gun up where the bullets have been coming from. He uses his body to shield Nikolai from that specific location, dearly hoping that there’s not another assassin on the other side.No one’s shooting right now, despite Nikolai hurrying across the lawn without any additional cover.Well, no additional cover besides Kaz.Kaz wonders if they’re reloading.They’re at the back door by the time the assassin’s gun starts to go off again.Kaz forces himself not to flinch the way Nikolai occasionally does.Nikolai fumbles with the keys in the doorknob until finally, finally, he gets the door open.Kaz ducks behind the door as well. Thick bullets sink into the wood fairly far, but they’re not going all the way through the thick wood into either of their bodies. He catches Matthias’ eyes at the last second as the other bodyguard begins to climb the fire escape to the roof they both think the shooter is on.Kaz grabs his cane off the ground and ducks fully inside, locking the door. Then he goes into his bedroom to kneel next to the far side of the bed, where his extra cane currently leans against. His safe is under the bed at the moment.He knows that Nikolai is in the room with him, but he’s not focusing on him right now. He’s more concerned about getting more ammunition out of the safe. He also grabs the pieces for a bigger gun.“Whoa,” Nikolai says behind him.Kaz ignores him. His hands are still a little shaky, but he’s going to have to figure it out, because Matthias needs backup. He waves a hand at Nikolai. “Call Jesper, tell him the situation,” he orders the ambassador.Kaz continues to put his gun together while Nikolai gets a hold of Jesper.“They’re at Kaz’s apartment, shooting at us. Not just me,” Nikolai informs him quickly. “I think Matthias was going to —”“— Matthias went up to the roof across the street,” Kaz cuts in to shout at Jesper. “The shooter’s probably up there.”Jesper’s voice rings loud and clear enough that Kaz knows Nikolai put him on speaker phone at some point. “We’re coming.” He hangs up on Nikolai.“How can I help?” Nikolai asks suddenly.Kaz shoots him a look. “By hiding,” he says flatly. “They’re after you. If they can’t find you, they can’t kill you.”Nikolai frowns. “Maybe, but just hiding sounds like a great way to get caught in a corner I can’t get out of,” he says tightly.Kaz glances at him once before slapping the last part of his own sniper rifle on. “Stay. Here.” He creeps out of the bedroom to go into the living room.The first thing he sees is that his front door is open.Fuck.Kaz sneaks up to the open front door, closing and locking it quietly. Then he turns around to find the assassin who is inside his apartment.He finds them trying to get into Kaz’s bedroom that Nikolai must’ve locked the door of at some point.He raises his gun and shoots the assassin in the head before they can turn and see him.The assassin falls to the ground, very much dead.Kaz searches their body, but the best weapons they’ve got on them are a blow dart gun, darts he’s careful with, and maybe the very sharp dagger on their belt.Great. One down, hopefully only one more to go.“I’m going to help Matthias!” he shouts through the locked door.Nikolai doesn’t respond.“Lanstov?” Kaz asks, still holding his gun up.Nikolai still doesn’t respond.Then there’s a heavy thud inside.Kaz picks his own bedroom lock quickly — he doesn’t have the time to look for the right keys that he thinks Nikolai still has anyway. He bursts in, gun raised.Nikolai stands above an assassin with one of Kaz’s spare canes, wielding it like a baseball bat or something.The assassin lays moaning on the ground.Nikolai pants deeply.Kaz comes over and kicks the assassin, who just moans again. He rolls his eyes and slings his rifle over his back. Then he starts to drag their limp body out to be with their colleague.Nikolai comes toward him, presumably to help him.“Close the window,” Kaz snaps at him.Nikolai stops. His face contorts, but he does go to close the window while Kaz lugs the wiggling assassin out of the room.“If you want me to shoot you in the head, keep struggling,” Kaz warns them.The assassin glares at him as he drops them on their colleague’s corpse.He’s about to find something to tie their hands together when they begin to reach for something in their back pocket.Kaz, expressionless, swings his gun back around and shoots them in the face.They fall back, very much dead as well.Someone bangs on Kaz’s — locked — front door.He goes to answer it.It’s Jesper, panting hard.“Two bodies, down the hall. Where’s Matthias?” Kaz says briskly.Jesper jerks his head. “Got the sniper. Where’s Nikolai?”Kaz jerks his own head. “Bedroom. Probably freaking out.”Jesper nods and follows him to the bodies.Kaz lets Jesper and the backup bodyguards haul the corpses out while he goes inside his bedroom to where Nikolai is standing numbly in the middle of the room. He’s still holding Kaz’s extra cane like a bludgeon.“Lantsov. What’s wrong,” Kaz asks flatly.“Nothing,” Nikolai responds immediately, still staring at the carpet. “Nothing’s wrong.”“Bullshit,” Kaz retorts. “What’s wrong?”Nikolai looks up at him. He’s got a couple tears in his eyes.Kaz stands there, uncomfortable. That means Nikolai is distraught for some reason.And Kaz isn’t good with distraught people.“Who wants to kill me so bad?” he asks in a wavering voice.Kaz shrugs. “I don’t know. But hopefully they’re done.”Nikolai nods vaguely. He drops the cane with a low thud. His hands shake.“Lantsov,” Kaz directs with his finger. “Sit down.”Nikolai doesn’t. He just stands there staring at his own trembling hands.Kaz sighs, coming over to him. He gently shoves him backward so the ambassador stumbles and falls back onto Kaz’s bed.He sits there awkwardly, staring at the floor again.Kaz comes a little closer. “Okay, I’m going to put my guns away, you’re going to go with Jesper back to the hotel, alright —?” he tries.Nikolai shakes his head.“What do you mean, no?” Kaz asks.Nikolai just shakes his head again.Kaz sighs and goes out to the hallway where Jesper is coming back up to him. “Listen,” he says in a low voice. “Post someone outside my front door; he’s going to stay here for a little bit longer.”Jesper cocks an eyebrow at him.Kaz sighs again. “He’s not doing very well.”Jesper nods and goes to the front door; probably to stand guard himself. He always has at least two guns on him at all times, after all. Kaz would hazard a guess and say Jesper might sleep with his pistols on his actual body.Kaz goes back into the bedroom, locking the door. Then he walks over to Nikolai. “You can sit on the bed, or you can sit at the desk. Your choice.”Nikolai doesn’t answer.“Fine,” Kaz says tightly, letting Nikolai sit on the edge of the bed still. He makes his way over to the desk himself.He’s just laid his rifle down on the desk when Nikolai suddenly asks, “Kaz?”Kaz looks up. “What.”“Did you kill them?” is not the question Kaz expected to fall out of Nikolai’s mouth.But here they are.Kaz pauses. “Yes. Is that a problem?”“How,” Nikolai breathes. “How did you do that?”Kaz doesn’t know where he’s going with this. “I just did it. I don’t understand the question.”Nikolai looks at him. He’s still got a few tears sprinkled across his blond eyelashes. “I didn’t even kill anyone, and I’m flipping the fuck out.”Kaz shrugs. “Everyone’s got a different relationship to violence,” he says monotonously.Nikolai nods slowly. “What’s yours?”Kaz stares at him. “Indifference.”Nikolai studies him. “What about your relationship to good things?”Kaz frowns. “What’s that supposed to mean?”“What’s your relationship with good things?” Nikolai repeats.“Depends, what do the good things involve?” Kaz stalls.“Things like…I don’t know, love. Or even just friendship,” Nikolai says like he’s coming up with it off the top of his head, when Kaz suspects that’s not the case.Kaz frowns deeper. “Why does that matter?”“Trying to figure you out, is all,” Nikolai shrugs with one shoulder.Kaz narrows his eyes at him. “My relationship to love is mostly indifference too.”Nikolai nods sadly.“Don’t worry about it,” Kaz snaps. “You should go with Jesper back to the hotel.”“And do what?” Nikolai challenges instantly. “Spend all day worrying that you’re going to get targeted?”Kaz blinks. “Why would I get targeted? I’m not important like you are —”“— but you’ve been protecting me for days. That’s gotta put you on someone’s list,” the ambassador insists.Kaz cocks his head at him, more than a little confused. “I mean, maybe,” he grants. “But I’m more concerned with the idea that my employer is going to die and won’t be able to pay me.”Nikolai laughs a little.Kaz is stony faced. “No, I’m serious,” he says sharply.Nikolai grins at him. “I know. That’s what’s so funny,” he says matter-of-factly.Kaz frowns some more. “Why is that funny to you?”Nikolai shrugs casually. “Because your priorities are all out of whack, and it’s very funny to me,” he explains patiently.“Whatever,” Kaz rolls his eyes. “You should rest.”Nikolai looks at him strangely. “Why? It’s like 8 in the morning.”Kaz cocks an eyebrow. “Yes. It’s 8 in the morning, after you just survived, like, six assassination attempts,” he says slowly as if Nikolai is a small child. “You’re tired. You’re probably not thinking straight. Rest.” He finally pulls his desk chair out to sit on it.Nikolai scoffs to his left as he sits on the chair. “What, I’m just supposed to sleep? Knowing that at any moment, another assassin could come in and try to kill me a seventh time?” He scoffs again.Kaz leans back in his swivel chair, turning just enough to face Nikolai flatly. “Yes,” he says shortly. “Almost dying is exhausting, I’ll have you know.”Nikolai gives him a crooked grin that Kaz abruptly thinks looks rather attractive on his face.He’s just shaking that thought away when Nikolai suddenly tries to verify a detail Kaz hadn’t thought of yet.“You’ll let me sleep in your bed?”Kaz pauses. “Yes,” he says flippantly with a flippant wave of a flippant hand. “Fine. Whatever.”“Maybe you should come sleep with me,” Nikolai says as he takes his shoes off, not directly looking at Kaz anymore.Kaz frowns. “What have I said about flirting with your employee?”Nikolai laughs.Kaz’s stomach writhes at that particular sound.“To not to,” Nikolai says fake glumly.Kaz nods curtly. “Great. So don’t do it.”Nikolai waves him off and gets under Kaz’s covers.Kaz endures an odd sensation in his stomach watching his boss settle down.Nikolai says something past the blanket that’s covering his chin and half of his mouth.“I cannot hear you, but at this point, I don’t know if I want to,” Kaz sighs.“I said, your blanket is very warm and cozy,” Nikolai repeats, letting the blanket fall enough that he’s intelligible. “I wouldn’t have pegged you as the kind of guy to appreciate the comfortable things in life. I thought you were indifferent to good things.”Kaz glares at him. “I said I was indifferent about love, not comfort. I happen to value comfort fairly high in my priorities,” he says stiffly.Nikolai laughs again. “Turn off the light, would you?”Kaz stands and turns off the light by tugging on the chain of the ceiling fan. He can still see Nikolai through the light coming in through the window so he goes over and closes the curtains too.“Thank you thank you,” Nikolai’s voice in the dark says.“Whatever,” Kaz grumbles, sitting down to take his watch near his gun.“I thought I told you you weren't doing bodyguard activities for the next three days?” Nikolai asks rhetorically.Kaz stares at the lump in his bed. “That was before we got shot at again and had to take care of three more assassins.”“Maybe you should shut up for once and listen to your employer,” Nikolai suggests.“Bold words from a man who is sleeping in his employee’s bed this very minute,” Kaz shoots back.“Maybe this employer finds his employee’s bed rather comfortable and thus, doesn't mind sleeping in such an intimate place,” Nikolai retorts immediately.Kaz wants to roll his eyes again. “It’s not intimate, it’s a bed. You know, for sleeping in.”“Yes, but most people do other activities in their beds as well. Sometimes with other people too!” Nikolai crows.“Most people don’t have haphephobia and thus can’t do any activities with other people,” Kaz says shortly. This conversation is straying drastically, and he doesn’t like it.“Maybe not, but notice that the people involved in the “other activities” in question don't have to include anyone other than yourself,” Nikolai points out.Kaz’s face heats up. “Stop implying lewd things about your employee,” he snaps.“I can stop implying,” Nikolai says comfortably.Kaz hurries to close that loophole. “You’ll stop talking about anything remotely lewd in relation to your employee, actually.”Nikolai laughs a third time. “Okay. Hey, Kaz, you wouldn’t mind if I added to your probably low score of people doing “other activities” in your bed?”Kaz’s face has got to be red as fuck, but since the light’s not on, he doesn’t have to work to hide the flush. Nikolai can’t see his face right now, neither of them could.He can still feel how hot his cheeks are getting.“Yes, actually, I do mind,” Kaz snarls. “And you’re still implying lewd things in relation to your employee, and I thought we agreed you’d stop doing that.”Nikolai hums. “I didn’t realize talking about things I might do to my own body included any of my employees —”Kaz is trying to decide how he feels while he fully yells, “— you’re talking about doing it in my bed, and I don’t appreciate it! Stop it.”“Alright,” Nikolai says, and Kaz could’ve sworn his lump under the blanket shrugs. “I can stop.”And he does. It goes eerily quiet until finally, Kaz, who is on edge about the whole thing the whole time, growls at him.“And stop silently plotting anything,” he barks.Nikolai chuckles. “Plotting implies that this is all a grand scheme, and it’s not. I’m just wondering how I might help Mr. Kaz Brekker feel less indifferent about love.”Kaz grinds his teeth. “You can’t. So stop wondering.” He fiddles with his gun in the dark a little bit before putting it aside back on the desk.“I’m up for the challenge,” Nikolai says confidently.“Will you please got the fuck to sleep?” Kaz snaps.“Well, since you asked so nicely…” Nikolai trails off pointedly. Then he pretends to sleep for a long minute until he pipes up just as Kaz is hoping he’s finally dozed off. “Think there’s anymore?”“I don’t know,” Kaz says flatly.“Well, that was supremely unhelpful,” Nikolai says tartly.“You’re welcome,” Kaz responds without a lick of sarcasm.Nikolai goes quiet, but he’s definitely not sleeping.Kaz ignores him as he unloads and reloads his gun over and over again, watching his window instead of where Nikolai lays in his bed.He’s actually fairly tired himself, but it must just be the adrenaline wearing off.He should go to bed.But no, he can’t. Obviously, he can’t. There’s an annoying man in his bed, so he can’t do that right now.Finally, he can’t handle the deliberate silence any longer. He slams his gun down on the desk again. “You’re not actually sleeping,” he snarls.Nikolai responds immediately, thereby proving Kaz’s point. “I’d sleep so much better if someone were laying next to me.” Kaz can hear the grin in his voice.Why is he still trying? Why won’t this man give it up?“Well, too fucking bad,” Kaz says tightly.Nikolai adjusts how he’s laying down — from his back then onto his side — so he can look at where Kaz sits at his desk, trying to stop fuming so hard. “Are you interested in feeling Not Indifferent about love?” he asks out of nowhere.Kaz stares at him. “...why are you so obsessed with me?” he comes up with, floundering a bit.“I’m not obsessed,” Nikolai counters. “I’m just Not Indifferent.”Kaz goes quiet. “I can’t afford to be anything other than Indifferent, okay? Drop it.” He unloads his gun again.“Why not?” Nikolai pesters.“Did I not just say to drop it?” Kaz slaps his ammunition back into the gun.“You did, but you’re raising more questions than you’re answering,” Nikolai says as if that’s a good enough reason to keep bugging Kaz.Kaz goes quiet again.“Is there anything you’re less indifferent about?” Nikolai pushes.Kaz pauses. His brain throbs with an answer he will never give the ambassador: you, Nikolai. You. “I don’t have to tell you jack shit,” he spits.Nikolai laughs that cheery giggle of his.Kaz’s stomach reacts again.Nikolai stops laughing. “No, I suppose you don’t; are you tired?”That question catches Kaz off balance enough that he answers too quickly without properly evaluating how it might be perceived. “Why does that matter?”“You’re slurring your words a little,” Nikolai informs him. “Come lay down.”Kaz frowns. “Not with you in the bed,” he protests instantly.“I promise I won’t try anything,” Nikolai vows, and Kaz thinks he can see his bright blue eyes latched onto Kaz’s dark ones.Kaz sighs. That midazolam is still fucking him up. Maybe it couldn’t hurt.Maybe.He stands, and brings himself and his gun over to the bed.He awkwardly lays down next to Nikolai, tucking his loaded gun under the pillow he’s now using.“Go to sleep, Kaz. I’ll wake you up if an assassin comes in,” Nikolai says kindly.“I thought you were going to sleep,” Kaz counters.“Nah,” Nikolai rejects him. “I gotta stay awake now to make sure I don’t accidentally touch you.”Kaz, a little shocked by the awareness in that sentence, frowns again. “Oh. Then I’ll just sleep on the floor.” He starts to get up.“No,” Nikolai tells him. “You don’t have to. I slept alright this morning. Go to sleep comfortably.”“I don’t know if I can right now,” Kaz admits reluctantly.Nikolai definitely shrugs now. “Okay. Then let’s just lay here for a while.”“Hmm,” Kaz says.They lay there side by side for a bit. Nikolai is still turned onto his side to look at Kaz. But Kaz is on his back, so they’re not looking at each other at the moment.“What if I wasn’t your employer?” Nikolai asks suddenly.“What,” Kaz says rather than asks.“Would you be less indifferent about me if I wasn't your employer?” Nikolai clarifies.“I’m not indifferent about you,” Kaz shoots back. “I said I was indifferent about love and friendships.”“Did you just give yourself a loophole to have a crush on me?” Nikolai says, obvious glee in his tone.Kaz blinks. “...what?” “You did, you just sidestepped the entire issue,” Nikolai continues, his grin wide enough that Kaz can see his pearly white teeth out of the corner of his eyes as he stares resolutely at the ceiling.“Now wait a minute,” Kaz starts. “I don’t know what you’re going on about, but —”Nikolai is still talking. “— act as if you don’t do love or friendship, when actually you’re painfully in love —”Kaz grits his own teeth. “You don't know what you’re talking about,” he says stubbornly.“Oh, I think we both know that I do,” Nikolai says smugly.They lay together in silence again.“So? If I wasn’t your employer, would you confess?” Nikolai asks him another inane question.“Confess what?” Kaz asks wearily.“That you’re not indifferent about me,” Nikolai says primly.Kaz scowls. “I wouldn’t admit that if you held a gun to my head,” he says savagely.“Kaz. Is the employee thing the only barrier?” Nikolai is staring at him, he knows it.“I don’t know what you’re getting at,” Kaz tells the ceiling again. “Cut it out.”“Kaz. I know you have haphephobia, and that complicates things, for sure,” Nikolai grants graciously. “But if I wasn’t your employer, would you want to kiss me?”Kaz pulls up short. He’s been left mute to stare at the ceiling. It’s like he got shot with another paralytic drug oh fuck — “What kind of question is that?” he says gruffly.“It’s a gauging question,” his employer tells him.“Stop trying to gauge anything,” Kaz almost turns to glare at him, but at the last second decides that that is a terrible idea because what if Nikolai is wearing an expression that makes Kaz paralyzed again?“I’ve already gauged a whole lot about you based on your Non Answers, actually,” Nikolai says pleasantly enough.Kaz gets a sharp spike of anxiety at the base of his spine. “What’s that supposed to mean?”“Just that when you dodge a question, you’re actually answering it anyway. Inaction and denial are still responses,” Nikolai informs him in a know-it-all tone.Kaz frowns deeper until he’s scowling again. “You’re ridiculous,” he comes up with. He sits up and starts to get out of the bed again.“Kaz. It’s okay. I have a solution,” Nikolai says cryptically, not moving to stop him.“A solution to what?” Kaz asks absently as he remembers the gun under the pillow and goes to retrieve that too.“The employer issue,” Nikolai reminds him.“I don’t know what that means —” he begins.“— you’re fired,” Nikolai says just as pleasantly as his gauging Non Answers comment.Kaz pauses, hand on the cold metal of the gun that he can feel through his gloves. “...what?” “You’re fired. You don’t work for me anymore,” Nikolai lists. “I’m unemploying you.”“...why. You can’t fire me without cause,” Kaz tells him, his midazolam addled brain struggling to keep up.“I’ll fire you without cause if I fucking want to,” Nikolai says a little bluntly.Kaz blinks.“So now, if you wanted to kiss me, you’re not kissing your employer,” the ambassador finishes all smugly.Kaz blinks rapidly. “Nikolai, that is…that doesn’t solve the problem.”“Why not?” Nikolai sounds genuinely confused.Kaz almost throws up his hands in exasperation. “There’s still a power imbalance! You’re an ambassador! And I’m…me,” he ends abruptly.“Well, I’d make you an ambassador too, but I don't know if I have the authority to do that,” Nikolai says plainly.Kaz gapes at him before finally grumbling, “You’re ridiculous, you know that?”“I know,” Nikolai says cheerfully. “Are you going to kiss me now?”Kaz shakes his head. “No. I can’t kiss anyone. That’s a skin to skin activity, and I can’t do that,” he explains. Is that truly his only complaint? He might need to shoot himself in the face. Clear his head a little.Nikolai doesn’t seem to notice. “What if we put something between our skin?”Kaz is still processing fairly slowly. “Like what?”“Like…” Nikolai trails off as he sits up, pulling a handkerchief out of one of his pockets. “This.”Kaz stares at him in the dark.Nikolai holds the handkerchief up in front of his mouth.Kaz gets a weird little thrill. Like…like he might be able to do it. “...I’m fired?” he confirms.Nikolai nods.Kaz leans in.They kiss, and Kaz might die about it. It feels nice. It feels really nice. Soft and warm and…cozy, almost. Comfortable. Comfort. The nausea isn’t too bad right now, but that doesn’t even matter to him at the moment because Nikolai’s mouth is soft as downy and Kaz wants more after they pull apart.Instead, he changes the subject. “Do I still get that paid time off?”Nikolai laughs, sending a chorus of sweetness down into the depths of Kaz’s turbulent gut. “Don’t worry about that. I’ll pay you what you’re owed.”“I’m still out of a job,” Kaz reminds him a little dourly.Nikolai shrugs. “I could call my father. I’m sure we could make you an ambassador. We get paid very well, you know.”Kaz cocks an eyebrow at him. “I don’t know if I’d make a very good ambassador. I don’t know how…charismatic I am.”Nikolai bats his long blond eyelashes at him. “Are you calling me charismatic?” he gushes.Kaz sighs. “I’m implying it, sure,” he concedes.Nikolai grins. “Okay. Do you…do you want to be a bodyguard again?”Kaz studies him. “...for who?”“For me,” Nikolai surprises him.Kaz narrows his eyes. “I thought I was fired.”“Well, your references are good, and your prior work is exceptional, so I could be persuaded to rehire you,” Nikolai says almost flippantly.Kaz barks one second of a laugh. “I can’t believe you.”Nikolai looks confused again. “What?”“You can’t do that,” Kaz stresses.“Do what?” Nikolai’s eyes are coming into more focus in the gathered darkness.“Fire and hire people willy nilly,” Kaz tells him almost sternly.Nikolai shrugs. “Yes I can,” he argues.Kaz rolls his eyes. “Well, don’t hire me again yet,” he says actually sternly now.“Why not?” Nikolai asks again.Kaz swallows. “Because…I want to…kiss you. One more time,” he says haltingly.Nikolai brightens at that.They press their mouths against each other with the handkerchief again.Kaz is trying not to be torn to shreds about it emotionally, and failing so hard it’s a wonder he’s still any semblance of a person anymore.They move carefully, slowly, like Kaz is a bomb about to go off.And maybe he is, a little bit.But that doesn’t stop him from pressing up against Nikolai’s downy lips that he can taste even though the handkerchief.Finally, he has to pull away, the Harbor an ever present reminder that he shouldn’t get close to anyone. And certainly he shouldn’t be getting close enough to someone that he’s actively kissing them.He stares at Nikolai’s face, three quarters hidden in shadows. What he can clearly see in the light that grows brighter behind the curtain from the rising day sun, he tries to drink in every aspect of it.Until Nikolai smiles at him, and his brain empties completely. If another assassin came in right now, Kaz would be useless. He’d just sit there in a cozy hazy stupor that feels like a warm blanket on a cold winter day.“Maybe we should go to another hotel,” Nikolai suggests in a low tone, presumably to avoid breaking through the carefully built calm atmosphere. “Since the assassins know I was here.”“And I’m coming with you?” Kaz verifies. “In what capacity?”“As a friend of mine,” Nikolai invents instantly.Kaz raises an eyebrow. “I don’t know if that’s going to fly with Jesper,” he says in a lower tone.Nikolai shrugs. “Who cares what Jesper thinks? He’s not your supervisor right now,” he says cheekily.Kaz gives him the smallest of smiles. “No, but he will be when you rehire me,” he points out.“Am I rehiring you?” Nikolai asks thoughtfully as he gets out of the bed.Kaz grabs his gun, tucking it into his belt against the small of his back. He grabs his cane as well. “It’d be helpful for my bank account if you did.”“Or I could gift you money regularly. You know, like friends?” Nikolai says like it’s a common practice and not some rich person habit Kaz has never heard of.Kaz tries not to frown as they head for the door to the bedroom. “I don’t know. I prefer to work for my income,” he rasps.“Okay. I’ll pay you to be my friend, then,” Nikolai says brightly, the left side of his hair mussed up from where he’d been laying on his side.Kaz actually laughs at that.Nikolai looks rather pleased with himself as they open the door.Jesper glances at them both before looking at Nikolai seriously. “Where to, boss?”“A new hotel, if you’d find a room?” Nikolai orders.Jesper nods, walking away to call someone.Nikolai goes out first so Kaz can lock his bedroom door behind them. Then they head outside.“What do you think? Penthouse? So fewer people can get in through the window?” Nikolai suggests.Kaz shakes his head. “Up high, sure, but not the penthouse. You’ll want one in the middle of the hallway, so it’s not obvious where you are. And that way they won’t be able to hang onto an end or a corner to get in through said window.”Nikolai nods, looking starstruck suddenly.Jesper comes back. “Any specifications for the room?” he asks Nikolai.Nikolai nods. “The second highest floor, as close to the middle as possible,” he details.Jesper glances at Kaz as if he’s done something before nodding and going to Nikolai’s car again to finish his phone call.“Come along, my dear paid friend,” Nikolai gestures elegantly to the car. “I require your services on the way to this new hotel.”“And what services am I providing you with?” Kaz asks as they walk — and limp — to the limousine Matthias followed them in.“Oh, the usual,” Nikolai says with a careless wave of his elegant hand. “You know, witty and flirtatious banter with a sprinkle of mild contempt.”Kaz shoots him a side eye as they pass the dumpster they’d hid behind from the rooftop sniper. “Only mild?”Nikolai laughs again.Kaz wonders where Nikolai’s handkerchief went.He wants to kiss the mouth making that delightful sound.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Jesper knows something, Kaz is certain.He’s driving the car that Nikolai and Kaz sit in the back of currently, but he keeps eyeing Kaz as though he knows exactly what’s happened between Kaz and his occasional employer.Kaz isn’t technically Nikolai’s bodyguard right now, but Jesper doesn’t actually know that, so when he told Kaz as they got into the car to “keep a closer eye on him, why don’t you,” Kaz decided to play along for now.“Of course,” he said stiffly, sitting down next to Nikolai in the back seat just as stiffly.Nikolai copied his straight back until Jesper closed the door behind Kaz to get into the driver’s seat. Then he deflated into a slouch and shot Kaz a quick grin that he wanted to bottle and keep on his windowsill as a trophy.Now Kaz sits back a little, not lounging the way Nikolai is. But not nearly as stiff as a bodyguard really should be.Nikolai smiles blindingly white at him.“Stop. Smiling like that,” Kaz growls.“Or what?” Nikolai says comfortably. He knows now that Kaz won’t shoot him in the face about it.“Or I’ll shoot you in the face about it,” Kaz snaps.Nikolai’s grin widens. “Oh, I’m sure you will,” he says all innocently. “But remember: if you shoot me in the face, no one will be able to pay you everything you’re owed. After all, no one else knows exactly how much you’ve earned.”Kaz growls at him, but says nothing more about it.Nikolai beams his victory.They get to the hotel without incident, at least.Good. Kaz is getting thoroughly sick of all these incidents.Nikolai walks into the room and dumps his duffel bag he got back from Matthias and Jesper onto the bed. “God, I’m starving. Aren’t you?” he asks Kaz.Kaz, who’d followed him in, rolls his eyes. “No. And neither of us are starving. You’re just hungry.”Jesper comes in after them. “Mr. Lantsov? Anything I can do for you?”Nikolai nods. “If you could have room service bring me something to eat, I’m sta— incredibly hungry.”Kaz smirks to himself as he sits down on a chair that sits next to the bed.Jesper glances at him again before nodding to Nikolai and vanishing.Nikolai comes over to Kaz, standing above him. He’s towering over Kaz in a way Kaz doesn’t know how much he likes. “Are you sure you don’t want something to eat?”Kaz quirks an eyebrow at him. “Why? Are you offering?”What he’d meant was, is Nikolai offering some of his food to Kaz. But of course, this is Nikolai they’re talking about.So the second the words leave his mouth, he knows he’s just put the nail in his own coffin.Nikolai smirks down at him and rocks back on his heel, swaying to the side a little so his left hip and shoulder point toward Kaz a little. “I mean, I wouldn’t mind. As long as you could make room in that wicked mouth of yours for my massive —”“— that’s quite enough of that,” Kaz cuts him off, his face flaring immediately.Nikolai laughs. “Relax, Kaz. You don’t have to eat anything you don’t want to. And that includes non food items.”Kaz narrows his eyes at him. “And I won’t,” he says stubbornly.Just then, there’s a knock at the door.Kaz can smell the food before Nikolai even opens the door with a bright smile for the man rolling the cart in.Kaz’s stomach growls at a most inopportune time — namely, right when Nikolai turns to ask him something.Nikolai’s eyes soften. “Come eat something, Kaz,” he actually offers, waving him over.The attendant’s eyes widen marginally.Kaz doesn't know what the problem is supposed to be. Maybe he’s just alarmed that the ambassador is telling a non ambassador to come dine with him.“Fine,” Kaz sighs loudly as if it’s a huge chore.The smell of almonds is strong enough now that he’s closer than he wonders where, exactly, said almonds are. If he can just get a handful of those, he’ll be set for a while.He doesn’t see any.Maybe someone just doused something on the tray with almond extract. That’s the only other explanation.Well, it’s not the only other explanation.Perhaps Kaz is just being paranoid.Nikolai is transporting the tray over to the desk to lay it out.Kaz follows him, trying to decide how paranoid he should be.“Aha!” Nikolai says after uncovering the last plate. He hasn’t found almonds either, though, so it doesn’t really matter to Kaz.“Man,” Kaz says as casually as he can manage, keeping an eye on the attendant out of the corner of his eye. “You know what would really suck?”Nikolai is barely paying attention to him. Leave it to this man to be thinking with his stomach instead of his brain a couple of hours after braining a would-be assassin. “What?” He’s picking up a fork to eat something before he’s even fully laid the tray out on the desk next to Kaz’s hip.“If you got poisoned this time,” he says almost cheerfully, like it’s a terrible joke. “I mean, wouldn’t that be awful?” Nikolai must catch something in his tone, because the hand holding the fork drops a little.But Kaz isn’t focused on Nikolai. He’s looking at where the attendant had gone pale and even more wide eyed than before.“Don’t eat that,” Kaz tells Nikolai sharply.Nikolai looks at him cautiously, but he drops the fork entirely.The attendant turns on his heel to run out the door again.Kaz lunges toward him in one large step to hook the beak of his cane around the attendant’s ankle.He trips, sliding across the carpet spectacularly.Kaz steps on his writhing back while he gets his earpiece back online. “Jesper? You’re never going to guess what just happened,” he says sarcastically.Jesper sighs deeply. “We’re coming,” he says briskly.Kaz turns his earpiece off again.He looks back at Nikolai, who just says, in a grim voice, “I guess you’re back on the clock.”Kaz sighs deeply and nods once. He presses harder on the attendant’s back when the writhing man tries to crawl out from under Kaz’s foot. “Stay. Still,” he hisses.The attendant doesn't stay still until Jesper comes in and hauls him to his feet.Kaz points at the tray the attendant had just brought in. “Test it. It’s probably cyanide,” he orders Jesper, who nods and has Matthias take the entire tray away to test it.Jesper holds the attendant with his arms tightly behind his back. “Name?” he asks, sounding a little bored.The attendant shakes his head.Jesper sighs. “We’ll just ask your employer, but I figured we’d save some time and effort on everyone’s part,” he says flatly.The attendant glares at him before mumbling, “Clarke.”Jesper falsely brightens a little. “Clarke? Good. What the fuck are you doing with poisoned food, Clarke?”Clarke shakes his head.“No it’s not poisoned? Or no it wasn’t you?” Jesper guesses.Kaz answers for Clarke. “No, Clarke won’t tell you any details,” he rolls his eyes again.Nikolai looks possibly annoyed, but he doesn’t say anything. He just stares longingly at the now empty desk.Kaz sighs deeply.Matthias comes back while they’re all standing there waiting for Clarke to say something. He points at Kaz. “He was right,” he says, handing Jesper a small paper.Jesper adjusts his hold on Clarke’s arm to grab the paper to read it. “Dammit. Why is Kaz always right?” he bemoans.Kaz frowns. “Because I could smell it so strongly; he used way too much,” he jerks his head at Clarke, who abruptly starts shaking his head in denial. “For future reference, you need less than a half a teaspoon to kill someone Nikolai’s size.”Clarke looks sick, which doesn’t really track for Kaz, but whatever. The important thing is that Nikolai didn’t die, he supposes.Jesper’s phone rings. He adjusts his grip on Clarke again to take it out and glance at the caller ID. “I have to take this. Matthias?”Jesper swaps Clarke’s captivity with Matthias, who is holding him perhaps too tightly.Kaz sits down heavily at the desk that no longer holds any food, poisoned or otherwise.Nikolai glances at him, then back at Matthias and Clarke. “Hey, Matthias, can you take Clarke out for a bit? Just looking at him is upsetting,” he waves dismissively.Matthias doesn't even hesitate based on that wonky reasoning. He just drags Clarke out.Nikolai follows him out the door, only to close said door behind him. He doesn't lock it, even though Kaz thinks he really should. Then he turns on his heel and comes back over to Kaz, standing above him on the other side of the desk. He places his hands shoulder width apart on the desk, leaning closer to Kaz.Kaz forces himself to stay stiff and still, looking up into Nikolai’s deep blue eyes. His current employer’s cologne is fucking with his head, making him dizzy with something that’s not respect for his authority.Nikolai gives him a crooked grin that churns Kaz’s stomach like he’d eaten the cyanide anyway. “Well, now, Mr. Kaz Brekker, you’re no longer in my employ as of…now,” he drags out, probably for dramatic effect.Kaz rolls his eyes. “And why, pray tell, do you need to fire me again?” He knows the answer, but he asks it innocently as if he doesn’t.Nikolai leans even closer, his lips a hairbreadth distance away from Kaz’s. “Because I need to thank you. For saying my life. Again,” he whispers against Kaz’s mouth.Kaz struggles to maintain his composure. “Do you still have that handkerchief? Because I know how you can thank me.”Nikolai pulls away enough to grins with a triumph Kaz finds he rather likes to see in his eyes, to see that Kaz put it in his eyes. “Well, fortunately, I do still have that handkerchief,” he says smoothly as he whips it out of some pocket, putting it in front of his shapely, soft lips.Kaz swallows, trying to keep his voice steady when he speaks. “Where’s my thank you, then?”Nikolai leans in closer; they’re so close, their lips. “So impatient.” He gives a breathy little laugh that coasts over Kaz’s nose.Kaz fights not to melt. That is a silly thing to melt over. “What can I say? Seven assassination attempts wears a guy’s patience down like you wouldn’t believe.”Nikolai’s lips quirk at that. “Well, then, perhaps seven thank yous are in order? For each of the murder attempts, I mean,” he clarifies quickly.Kaz gazes at him solemnly. “Perhaps they are,” is all he says before his mouth is captured by Nikolai’s and he’s in heaven again.Nikolai’s lips are careful with him, oh so careful. Kaz can practically feel the pains he’s taking to be careful where their skin touches.Kaz is an impatient man today, it seems, because he uses his gloved hands to grab the sides of Nikolai’s face to hold him in position when the other man tries to pull away.They’re pulsing with the kiss, Kaz’s chest pressing up against the edge of the desk he’s sitting at, his hands starting to drag down Nikolai’s head with the raw intensity.Nikolai manages to pull away then, blue eyes sparkling with a glee Kaz wants to hate, but doesn’t. “You know you’re getting six more kisses, right?”Kaz scoffs. “Yes. And I want to make the most of all of them,” he comes up with.Nikolai laughs again, and dips his head to give him another kiss, the handkerchief draping over the bottom half of his face.Kaz presses into the kiss again. Ravenously. Like he’s hungry for far more than almonds.And maybe he is.One of Nikolai’s hands comes up and snakes itself through Kaz’s hair.Kaz lets him grab a small handful of dark locks. The sharp sting as the hand lightly pulls reminds him that he is here, he is alive, and he is kissing Nikolai Lanstov.The ambassador’s mouth moves slowly against his.Nikolai’s tender kisses are a sharp dichotomy to Kaz’s erratic attempts to get more, more, more. When Nikolai's mouth gently sucks on Kaz’s bottom lip, the silk handkerchief drawn in past his delectable lips as well, Kaz is on fire. He’s a raging ember; supposed to have died long ago but keeps making a resurgence regardless.Kissing has always been a far off, distant daydream.Kissing Nikolai? Letting Nikolai kiss him?It’s just a dream. It almost feels not quite real, the way Nikolai is moving against him. The feather soft lips that snowball so quickly into heated seals of fiery passion.Nikolai pulls away to breathe.Or maybe to let Kaz breathe. He is struggling a bit with that particular necessity.“Six more?” Nikolai asks breathlessly, his hand falling out of Kaz’s hair.Kaz starts to nod when there’s a knock on the door.Nikolai shoves himself up off the desk to turn on his heel and answer the door while Kaz flattens where his hair stands up more than usual. “Yes?” he says as he opens the door.Jesper’s quick gray eyes latch onto Nikolai, then past him at Kaz. He says nothing about the lack of Matthias and Clarke, directing his attention back to Nikolai. “Your father is coming,” he says firmly. This is not open for discussion, it seems.Nikolai looks surprised. “...okay…” he says hesitantly.Jesper briskly nods once. “He’s about an hour out,” he starts to walk away.Nikolai’s eyebrows shoot up. “Already? How was he so close already?”Jesper shrugs. “Sounds like he was just at a meeting in the next city over,” he offers before leaving again.Nikolai closes the door on him, staring at it for far too long before turning to come back over to Kaz.“What’s that look for?” Kaz asks, trying to act casually, as if he wasn’t just being kissed silly by the ambassador.Nikolai’s expression changes in an instant, burying whatever emotion he’d just had on his face. “Nothing. It’s nothing!” he protests when Kaz cocks an eyebrow. “My father wasn’t supposed to be anywhere near here — that’s why I’m here in the first place.”Kaz studies him. “Any reason he wouldn’t tell you that detail?”Nikolai shrugs as he gets back to the desk to lean on it again. “Plenty of reasons. Chief of them being, if no one knows where he is, no one can try to assassinate him,” he says pointedly.Kaz sighs. “Alright, fine. Either come kiss me or hire me again.”Nikolai grins. He opens his mouth to say something with a smirk when someone comes inside without knocking.Nikolai spins on his heel immediately, his hand going for the heavy paperweight on the desk before he seems to recognize the intruder. “I thought you wouldn’t be here for another hour,” he said casually.Kaz realizes that he recognizes the intruder too, as the older man strides across the room to get to Nikolai. It’s the older Ambassador Lantsov. Alexander, he thinks his name might be.“Well, hearing that my son’s been dealing with more than one assassin for the past couple days might’ve spurred me on much faster,” Alexander says comfortably.Nikolai’s beautiful face jars Kaz when it scrunches with something like confusion. “Who told you that?” he asks, taking his father’s hand where the older man has held it out.“Jesper? Jasper?” Alexander asks, his almost beady eyes latching onto Kaz with something Kaz can only describe as suspicion.Why the older ambassador is suspicious of Kaz sitting at a desk is left up in the air because then he snaps at Kaz, “You. Out. Now.” He jerks his thumb for good measure.Kaz does not like this man right now, and quite frankly, he’s not sure how much he trusts him with anything or anyone, let alone Nikolai. “No,” he shoots back.The ambassador looks like he’s never had a bodyguard talk back to him.And maybe he hasn’t.“What did you just say?” Alexander says threateningly, as if Kaz couldn’t beat him up within an inch of his life in seconds.“I said no,” Kaz repeats, staying where he sits on the chair. “Mr. Lantsov almost died half an hour ago from yet another assassination attempt. I can’t leave him alone without a bodyguard with a good conscience.”Alexander’s eye twitches.Nikolai backs Kaz up. “It’s true, and Mr. Brekker has been instrumental to keeping me alive these past few days,” he says with a weary grin that Alexander does not return.The older ambassador looks annoyed, but concedes with, “Fine. Nikolai, come here.” He beckons Nikolai off to the side just as Jesper appears in the open doorway with Clarke.Kaz stands, coming over to where Clarke is struggling in Jesper’s tight grip. “Why’s he back in here?”Jesper shrugs. “Trying to figure out his employer is proving fairly difficult,” he says, sounding a little frustrated. “So we wanted to see if Mr. Alexander Lantsov has any ideas about who that might be.”“Why would he have any ideas?” Kaz asks distractedly, studying Clarke, who does not meet his – or anyone’s — eyes.“Because he’s had a fair number of assassination attempts over the past year, and we’re wondering if they’re connected,” Jesper says, glancing at where Nikolai and Alexander talk quietly in the corner. “Mr. Lanstov?” he calls.Both Nikolai and Alexander turn to look at him.But then the strangest thing happens.Alexander’s eyes lock onto Clarke immediately, disgust filling his face.But Clarke? Clarke’s face drains immediately. He looks…terrified.Alexander’s current expression is not the prompter of the terror in Clarke’s eyes, Kaz is sure. Because disgust is not menacing. It’s just disgust.Alexander’s face morphs into a more neutral one quickly enough that Nikolai seems okay with dismissing it entirely.Kaz doesn’t dismiss it. He just watches silently as Alexander steps toward Clarke.Clarke tries to take a step back in Jesper’s grip.Jesper notices too, it seems. “Do you know him?” he asks curiously.Clarke swallows hard. “Ambassador Alexander,” he whispers.Jesper looks up at the ambassador. “Sir? Do you know this server?”Alexander laughs. “No? Should I?”Jesper frowns. “Hmm,” is all he says. Clarke starts to shake so hard that, as Jesper lugs him out of the room, the server stumbles multiple times in the span of maybe five steps.Kaz is staring at Alexander now, trying to decide how deep in trouble he’s willing to get.But Nikolai didn’t hire him again yet. So it’s not like he’d be disobeying his employer or his employer’s father, right?“What?” Alexander says defensively.Kaz narrows his eyes at him, ignoring where Nikolai is looking from his father to Kaz then back at his father. “How did that server know who you are?”Alexander laughs again. “Lots of people know who I am,” he dismisses instantly.Kaz cocks his head at him. “Maybe,” he allows. “But few people who know who you are are also actively trying to poison your son.”Alexander's face is growing red. Probably he’s getting angry.Kaz doesn’t particularly care.“I don’t know what you’re trying to imply, but you need to back off, now,” Alexander spits, taking a single step toward Kaz as if non verbally threatening him.Kaz smiles without any warmth behind it. “No. My job is to protect Nikolai, and I’d be a shitty bodyguard if I let Nikolai’s seven hitman’s employer just…be alone with Nikolai.”Alexander steps closer to him again, fury evident on his wrinkled face.Kaz stands his ground.Nikolai looks confused behind his father.“You don’t know what you’re talking about, boy,” Alexander says in a low growl, getting up into Kaz’s face.Kaz forces himself to quell any panic about the other man touching him in favor of reaching for where his gun hangs in his belt.Alexander’s hand shoots out without warning and grabs his wrist. His bare wrist. His bare wrist between the top of Kaz’s glove and the bottom on his sleeve.Kaz is smacked in the face with a tidal wave of sea salt water. It fills his nostrils, his lungs. It burns through his chest like the panic does, leaving a drowning wasteland in an instant. The corpse’s hand that latches onto his wrist won’t let go. What little of his breath he still has comes out in sharp gasps and high hisses.He’s trying to yank his wrist out of reach of the corpse that floats so fucking close to him. But the grip is iron and Kaz’s strength is sapped and he’s just going to die alongside the pile of rotting bodies surrounding him.He can hear something hissing little trills that sounds gravelly as fuck. It’s filling his ears just as someone else’s voice picks up into a shout.Then a third voice says, in a smug mocking tone, “Seems you’re a shitty bodyguard anyway.”Kaz is drowning. He is drowning in the sea of rotted flesh and bloated bodies and his legs are sore from kicking frantically through all of it.The corpse’s grip is gone suddenly, and the second voice that had been shouting earlier is talking sternly near his tired, water clogged ears.“— don’t do that. You can’t do that,” Nikolai is saying a little closer to him.Alexander makes an annoyed noise in the back of his throat, ripping his arm out of Nikolai’s tight grip.The anger that froths to the surface of Kaz’s mind completely boils over. As soon as his hands can find it, he draws his gun on Alexander.“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Nikolai shouts, holding up his hands in a defensive way while Alexander backs up. “It’s okay, Kaz. It’s okay. He’s not touching you anymore.”Kaz’s nose crinkles at the institution that he’s holding the older ambassador at gunpoint because of the touching issue. Although, really, that’s the least egregious consequence Kaz can think of for touching someone without consent. “Alexander is the one who ordered all of those hitmen,” he snarls between ragged breaths. He’s still nauseous beyond belief. His head spins. He has to grit his teeth to hold onto what little food is left in his stomach.Nikolai’s eyes squint and his hands start to drop. “...what?”Alexander blusters about it immediately. “What are you talking about? Stop accusing people of heinous crimes, and lower that goddamn gun, boy —!”Jesper comes in just then, sans Clarke. The second he sees Kaz’s gun pointed at Alexander, his own pistol goes up, aimed at Kaz.Kaz needs to tell Jesper the problem. He needs to explain himself. His mouth refuses to cooperate. “He — he — I —” is all he gets out right then. The Harbor crashes against his ankles, rising like that hand is still on his arm. He can still feel it, at least. It’s like Alexander is still touching him.And he’s about to get his head blown off by Jesper if he can’t inform his occasional supervisor of the problem properly.But stringing together full sentences sounds like such a monumental task he doesn’t know if he has the current ability to even try. “Kaz,” Nikolai’s soft voice says to his left.“Kaz,” Jesper says firmly to his right. “Put the gun down.”“Put the goddamn gun down!” Alexander yells in front of him.Kaz’s gloved hands tighten on the handle of the gun.“Kaz,” Nikolai says again, just as gently. “What’s your plan? Huh? What’s your plan?”Kaz works to answer him, at least. “I — I need to — he’s just gonna — send more —”“— send more what?” Nikolai asks calmly.Kaz blinks furiously, trying to shove the urge to puke down where it’s bobbing to the surface again. “— assassins,” he stresses.Nikolai’s concerned face floats into his blurry vision. “Kaz, he’s not sending more assassins,” he tries.Kaz shakes his head, his hold on the gun getting shakier by the second. “He will,” he insists. “He already — sent — seven —”Nikolai’s eyebrow scrunch. “Kaz, he’s not the hitman’s employer —”Kaz growls at Alexander when the older man tries to take a step back. “Ask him. Ask him about the latest attempt,” he demands.Nikolai looks like he’s just trying to humor Kaz, which irks him, but he’s too busy keeping himself from vomiting to do much more than notice the tone. “Okay. Hey, Father, what do you know about the latest assassination attempt?”Alexander rolls his eyes. “Next to nothing,” he snarls, eyeing Kaz with those beady ass eyes. “I know that Clarke tried to poison you. That’s it.”Kaz lets out a slow, shaky breath. “How’d you know his name?” He tries for a casual tone, but he doesn’t think he succeeds.Alexander’s face drains visibly. “I–I heard one of you say it! Jesper said it,” he invents, pointing at Jesper.Jesper frowns and turns his gun from Kaz’s head to Alexander's.Nikolai looks depressed now. “Is that true?” he asks plaintively at his father, who is sputtering now. “Did you send the assassins after me?”Alexander shakes his head. “No, of course not, why would I do that —?” he tries, feet backing him up to the locked window to the side.Jesper strides up to him. He quickly handcuffs the older ambassador, who protests loudly.“I am an ambassador, you cannot — you can't —!” he screeches as Jesper leads him away.Kaz only drops his gun when Alexander is out of his sight. He slides it into his belt again. Then he turns to look at Nikolai.,Nikolai looks distraught.And Kaz still isn’t good with distraught people, let alone Nikolai. But he carefully grabs the loose fabric of Nikolai’s sleeve to escort him over to the desk chair.Nikolai follows him numbly, flopping into the seat. He’s looking up at Kaz pleadingly.Kaz doesn’t know what he wants from him, so Kaz dodges it entirely by walking to the door to lock it. Then he comes back to stand above Nikolai’s slouched body. “Hey,” he says roughly.Nikolai’s beautiful blue eyes find him again. “Hey,” he returns flatly.Kaz slowly begins to crouch in front of him, to be more on eye level.Nikolai watches him silently.Kaz adjusts his legs a little so he’s putting less pressure on his right knee. “You’re okay,” he reminds him. “You’re okay, remember?”Nikolai nods slowly.They sit there for a long moment, before a smirk creeps its way onto Nikolai’s tired face.“What?” Kaz asks, unsure where the poorly hidden glee is coming from.“I never hired you again,” Nikolai points out. “So, you’re still fired.”Kaz cocks an eyebrow. “Okay? Your point is?”“My point is,” Nikolai says grandly, starting to sit up straighter in the chair. “You’re still fired. And I never finished thanking you.”Kaz’s stomach thrills at that. His logic and reasoning run away, deserting him entirely to be left at the mercy of all of his goddamn emotions. “Well, maybe you should keep thanking me,” he suggests.Nikolai’s smug look is replaced with worry suddenly. “Do you need to sit on a chair?” he asks.Kaz glances down at where his legs are visibly shaking with exertion. “Maybe,” he grumbles.Nikolai stands then, forcing him to shuffle back until he can stand alongside him.They’re standing toe to toe, Nikolai’s cologne and shampoo and just the general smell of him is overwhelming all of Kaz’s senses to the point that he wonders how he’s going to get out from under the thick cloud of Nikolai. And then he realizes that he doesn’t want to step outside this bubble of Nikolai aromatic air. Not even to sit down.Nikolai’s bare hands come up. One takes Kaz’s left gloved hand, and the other strokes the side of Kaz’s head where his hair sweeps over his scalp.Kaz wants nothing more than to lean up against the hand above his ear. But he doesn’t want to accidentally adjust this position enough that bare skin meets bare skin. So he doesn’t.Nikolai holds up the handkerchief invitingly.Kaz nods.Nikolai puts the cloth between their mouths so Nikolai can kiss down on Kaz.Kaz pushes up against the taller man’s lips, his free gloved hand coming up to grab the back of his neck. It steadies him, keeps him upright. It also corners Nikolai into staying right here, into staying right here with Kaz.Nikolai is ever slow, ever kind, ever gentle with his mouth. Until the handkerchief tickles Kaz’s neck.“What are you —?” Kaz begins just as Nikolai presses a fervent kiss to the side of Kaz’s throat.He can’t help it. His pleasure is skyrocketing suddenly, and thus, a low groan is torn out of his suppressed lungs. He lets his head fall back just a little while Nikolai’s hand in his hair slides up to avoid grazing his bare ear.Nikolai’s lips trail down the side of his neck, getting to where his shirt collar covers his skin further. The handkerchief not only follows him down; it precedes his mouth.Kaz grips the back of Nikolai’s slightly bowed head to stay still enough to allow the ambassador’s delicious kisses to travel to a sweet spot near his shirt collar. Kaz moans a little at the sudden acute pleasure Nikolai has found. The small spike of goodness startles him into opening his slowly closing eyes.“How many was that?” Nikolai pulls away to ask, blue eyes glittering.Kaz shrugs. “I don’t know, but I don’t feel very thanked,” he says primly.Nikolai laughs and Kaz wants to cup his face in his gloved hands, just to hold him. Just to hold that laugh in his own two hands.He doesn’t. He just stares up at Nikolai, who grins down at him with that More Trouble Than It’s Worth smirk.“Well, do you want to keep being thanked? Or do you want to figure out your payment?” Nikolai gives him the choice. Kaz suspects that he’s doing it to give Kaz a break from all this barriered touching, but he doesn’t mind right now that that is probably the case.“Oh, I’m still getting paid?” he says with an innocence neither of them believe in the slightest.“Of course you’re still getting paid. Just because you’re fired right now doesn’t mean I don’t still owe you much money,” Nikolai says with a troublesome quirk of his golden eyebrow.Kaz rolls his eyes.“Let’s get Jesper in here,” Nikolai suggests, going to dig his phone out of his pocket as Kaz takes a small step backward. “Make sure he knows where all this money is going.”Kaz nods permission once, and Nikolai calls Jesper.“Hey, grab a pen and notepad, and get in here,” he orders.There’s a small pause before Nikolai hangs up and goes to the door Kaz locked.“You’re hired again, by the way,” Nikolai says as an aside.Kaz inclines his head. No sense in letting Jesper in on this particular issue.Jesper gets there by the time Nikolai has fully unlocked the door. He looks with confusion at Nikolai, then a little warily at Kaz. “Yes?”Nikolai closes the door behind him. “How much is Kaz owed for this particular job?”Jesper frowns. “Already an egregious amount,” he says a little stiltedly. “He bargained for higher pay to begin with.”Nikolai turns to look in awe at Kaz. “Did you really?”Kaz shrugs. “The base pay was too low for the potential danger involved,” he says casually, sitting at the desk now.Jesper rolls his eyes. “Yeah, so Kaz made up a contract to have him be paid about time and a half what the rest of us get paid.”Nikolai laughs a little. “Okay, that part doesn’t surprise me as much as it probably should. Okay, so take his contractually obligated amount, and double it. Then add another $10,000 for every successfully thwarted assassination attempt. Then add another $5,000,” he says pleasantly.Kaz stares at him. “...you don’t have to pay the extortion rate too,” he mumbles.Nikolai laughs. “I wasn’t. The double part and the last part are just overtime, and the friend payments.”Kaz eyes him. “Payments?”“Yeah!” Nikolai says with another laugh. “Everytime I fired you, you became my friend again. So? Payments.” “Wait, you fired Kaz?” Jesper suddenly chimes in, his pen hovering over his notepad.Kaz sighs. “It’s complicated —” he begins.“— no it’s not,” Nikolai argues. “I fire him anytime we want to do something bosses and employees aren’t supposed to do.” He looks cheerful as hell.Kaz glares at him.Jesper grins. “Oh my god, you’re ridiculous. Both of you.”Nikolai beams.Kaz turns to Nikolai with a frown. “I’m gonna do something employees aren’t supposed to do to their bosses; it’s called assassination, ever heard of it?”Nikolai laughs and Kaz’s stomach writhes at the sound. “Hey, Kaz…you’re fired,” he says just as happily.Kaz sighs again while Jesper laughs and leaves with his notepad. He glares at Nikolai until the ambassador locks the door behind Jesper.“Are you actually mad at me?” Nikolai asks almost cautiously.Kaz pauses. “...not really,” he grumbles.Nikolai brightens. “Good! Let’s do some very good friend activities,” he offers.Kaz raises a single eyebrow. “Even very good friends can’t kiss each other,” he points out, stretching out his right leg past the desk where the chair is turned sideways to face Nikolai.“I don’t know what very good friends you have, but yes. They can. And they do,” Nikolai retorts.Kaz rolls his eyes. “Whatever,” he tries for nonchalance. “Come finish thanking me.”But then Nikolai grins and picks up his gloved hand gently. He lays a soft kiss on Kaz’s leather clad knuckles elegantly.Kaz gets a violent shiver down his spine. Perhaps it’s anticipation.Perhaps it’s something more.Nikolai drapes the handkerchief over his mouth, leaning forward.Kaz leans toward Nikolai as well.Their lips meet and they kiss, free of any more assassination attempts to interrupt them.