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Alea climbed up the ladder after her swim with the orcas. When she left the water, she noticed that it was raining.“Hello, my friend.” Alea whispered and smiled, as the drops hit her skin.Eventually, she fully climbed on the Crucis and stopped in her movements.“Alea!” Lennox seemed worried. “What did you do in the water in the middle of the night?”Alea hesitated. “I went for a swim?” She whispered.“Where’s Ben?” She searched for him on the ship.“Inside, I told him I’d take over the rudder so he can sleep.”“But Ben loves being outside at night? How did you convince him to go to bed?” Alea was astonished.“I can be convincing if I want to. I didn’t want…” Lennox hesitated and rubbed his head.“What?” Alea was confused.“I didn’t want him seeing you return from your swim. He can’t know… that you went into the sea!”Lennox seemed to be confused.“I felt like I needed to protect you from being seen.”Alea didn’t understand but at the same time something inside of her did. “But you don’t have to protect me!” She tried to explain to him.“I have to,” Lennox seemed sure about what he was saying.“And why did you turn on the autopilot and leave the rudder?” She asked him.“I wanted to stand here and look out for you,” He mumbled. His hoodie was soaked wet.“I want to know who you are,” Lennox told her.“And who are you?” Alea asked back.Lennox shook his head and clenched his teeth.“But what if you needed help!” He seemed worried. “That’s why I wanted to look at the waves and-“He grabbed his head and sank to the floor.“Are you okay?” Alea asked, even though it was clear that he wasn’t.“Damn!” Lennox hissed.“What happened?” Alea was getting worried.“The rain,” Lennox was barely able to speak. “I stood too long in the rain.”“What?” Alea was confused again.“I never go into the rain,” whispered Lennox and closed his eyes.“Why not?”“It makes me sick.” Lennox pressed his hands against his temples.“What?”“Going on a ship was such a stupid idea. What if I fall into the water…” Lennox mumbled.Something about this sounded way too familiar.“Standing in the rain was stupid too. Why did I even do it?”“Yeah, why?” Asked Alea.“God dammit, because of you!” Lennox shook his head slowly.“And because of you I went on this ship! Because you are… I don’t know.” He was shaking and Alea saw thanks to the rain that his colours were screaming of pain and sickness.“Let’s get you inside.” Alea said and helped Lennox up.They entered the salon and Lennox fell down on his couch.“I’ll get you a towel.” Alea wanted to leave, but Lennox said: “Change your clothes, you are dripping!” Before she went inside the bathroom.Thankfully, Tess had left some of her clothes in there, which Alea now used to dress herself.Then she dried her hair with a towel and went back to Lennox with a dry one.He was still sitting on the couch. “I woke up Sammy and told him I got a headache.” He was shaking now.“That’s not just a headache.” Alea mumbled.“What-“ but at that moment, Lennox layed down and moaned in pain.“Lennox!” Alea dried his head off and then grabbed the seam of his hoodie. “Let’s take this off, it’s dripping wet!”“Stop!” Lennox seemed to panic. “Don’t, please!”Alea looked at him in confusion. “But… The water makes you sick? Why not take it off?”Lennox crossed his arms over his chest. “I…”He seemed to be scared.“I don’t…” he again shook his head.“I’m not…” he mumbled something Alea didn’t understand.“Should I do something? Help you?” She was so worried about him, it hurt.“The thing would’ve gotten out eventually anyways.” Lennox sighed.“I’m trans.” He said under his breath.“Oh?” Alea was surprised. That wasn’t what she’d expected.Lennox nodded and pressed his hands back to his head.“Oh. I’ll bring you a dry hoodie so you can change?” Alea asked after she’d caught herself from the surprise.“Please.”Alea looked through his clothes in the closet and found a dry hoodie. It was dark blue and had a washed out print on it.When she turned around again, Lennox was only wearing a barely damp T-Shirt. Apparently, it hadn’t gotten as wet as his hoodie had.Once again, he was crossing his arms over his chest.“Is this one okay?” Alea asked and Lennox nodded.After she’d given it to him, Alea turned around so Lennox could put it on.“Thanks.” He mumbled.When Alea turned back facing him, he was laying on the couch and shaking slightly.The shaking got more and more and Alea eventually joined him on the bed and hugged him. Maybe she could warm him up.He smelled good and she could feel his heartbeat. Alea held him until his shaking stopped and she too fell asleep. ••• The next day, Sammy and Ben went with the still sick Lennox to a doctor. Meanwhile, Alea was thinking about their conversation from the day before. When the boys returned, Lennox wasn’t much better and the doctor also didn’t have a clue why Lennox had gotten sick or how he could get better. Eventually, Alea went into the sea when no one was looking. If the land couldn’t help Lennox, maybe the sea could. With the help of a Finding-Finja, Alea found an underwater plant which she then made tea of. Carefully, she brought the cup to Lennox and woke him up. She sat down next to his curled up body. He seemed to have a fever and he still looked weak. “No! Don’t hit me!” Lennox woke up quickly and looked around scared.“Please leave me alone Dad, I’m not your girl!” He hissed with an empty look in his eyes. “Hey Lennox, drink that.” Alea pressed him the cup into his hands. “Drink!” She repeated, after he hesitated. “I gotta go.” Lennox mumbled. “You won’t hit me again, ever.” He still seemed to be trapped in his fever dream. “Just lay down again.” Alea told him and reached for his shoulder. Lennox did so but suddenly grabbed her wrist and squeezed it hard. “Don’t touch me!” Alea screamed in pain. “Please!” She begged him to let her go. “I’m not your dad.” Suddenly, something in Lennox changed. “Oh god, Alea?” He let her hand go. “Did I hurt you?”Alea shook her head.”It’s fine, I’m fine.” She mumbled. “I am so, so sorry.” Lennox sighed. “I dreamed about…” he let his hand wander through her hair. “Are you really okay?” He looked at her wrist. “Fuck, that’s gonna bruise.” He carefully stroked her skin. Alea didn’t dare to breathe. “Urgh.” Lennox suddenly moaned again. He once again touched his head. Alea held him. “It’s okay.” She told him. Eventually, his breathing slowed down and he fell asleep, his head in her lap. ••• The next morning Alea woke up with painfully stiffened limbs. She had been sitting the whole night in the same position without moving.Lennox was sleeping deep and peacefully. His head was in her lap. Alea noticed Lennox looked way better than last night. She placed her hand on his forehead. It was no longer hot. His temperature had lowered! She sighed happily. She tried carefully to stir up her legs.Lennox flinched and in the next moment he got up quickly. They stared at each other. He obviously hadn’t forgotten what happened last night. Alea almost hoped that the high temperature had let the memory slip. But his facial expression gave away that he knew very well what happened.“How is your wrist?” Lennox asked.
She raised her right hand. On its inner side were a few bruises visible. “God damn it! I’m so sorry,” Lennox guiltily bit his lip. “I didn’t want to. I- I dreamt about my father.”“I know,” Alea moved away her glove to take a better look at her wrist. “It’s not that bad. The markings will soon disappear.” Lennox looked so crushed that she felt sorry for him. “You are pretty strong,” she noted.He gave her a crooked smile: “I’m a warrior,” he ran his fingers through his dark hair and closed his eyes. “I’m feeling better. Is my temperature lower?”Alea handed him the termometer. “36.8. Pretty normal.”Lennox nodded relieved. “I wonder how it went down so quickly. Antibiotics have never worked before”“Never? You had to use antibiotics often?”“Yes, a few times.”“How long have you had problems with the water?”“I’ve always had,” He hesitated and told her about his illness and how only he figured out it is related to the water. “I wonder how I healed so quickly,” he added.“I made you some tea,” she explained.“What tea?”“From red fern.”“I’ve never heard about such a plant.”“It’s pretty rare.”Lennox nodded. “I’m going to look it up.”“Have you ever had skin problems?” Ales asked. “No.”Alea rubbed her hands confused.“I doubt it’s cold urticaria,” Lennox added. The girl looked at him surprised. “I’ve looked up on the internet if there is such a thing as water allergy and there I found the term cold urticaria but my symptoms are different. How do you know about this disease?”“I thought I'd been suffering from it for many years,” she admitted. Alea told him about her bumps and transformations. He nodded:
“I guessed it. That’s why I waited for you.”“Can I ask you something?” Alea asked.“Yes, of course,” Lennox replied. “You know. I’ve never told anyone before about my allergy. I just feel it.. You all are just special. The whole Alpha Cru. You, Tess, Sammy-”“Are you trying to distract me…?”“...yeah, I was. Ok, go on, ask.”“Are you on any medications? Hormone blockers, T..? Because we could maybe buy them.”He shook his head. “I wish.”“Do you need anything else?”“No. I don’t think so.”Lennox sat down and took a sip from his tea.“I think I kinda relate to you,” Alea admitted.“What do you mean?” He asked.“I don’t feel like a girl either. Not fully at least.”“Do you feel like a boy?”“No. I don’t think so.”“What about as neither a girl nor a boy?” Tess suddenly asked. Alea jumped.“I didn’t notice you,” Lennox told her. The French girl shrugged.“Maybe…?” Alea shrugged. “But I have nothing against being perceived as a girl.”Tess sat on the floor. “What about demigirl?”“What is that?” the other girl got confused.“Feminine non-binary person. Kinda,” the boy explained.“How do you know that?” Tess raised an eyebrow.“I identified as a demigirl lesbian for some period of time.” Lennox admitted. “You are trans?”“Yes.”“Oh my God, same.”Lennox’ expresion turned into a mixture of shock and excitement.“Do you have a preferred name?” Alea asked.“...what?” Tess frowned. “Uhm. Alea. I think we’re trans in opposite ways.” Lennox explained.“Ah. You make it sound like it’s a road.” Alea said. “It’s more like a crossroad with round-a-bout.” The French girl put hair up. “And some people decided to drive off the road.”“Pretty much,” Lennox agreed and took another sip.After a little thinking Alea decided. “I think I can identify with what Lennox said.”“Lesbian?” Tess asked with something weird in her voice.“No, demigirl. I’m sure that I like boys.”“Would you like to use a more gender neutral name?” Lennox asked. “You can use my necronym.”“Your what?”“His old name,” Tess explained.“It was Alexa. Gender neutral,” Lennox shrugged. “It didn’t feel like mine though.”“Hey, Alexa, what is the weather today?” Alea joked.Lennox sighed like he had heard this joke millions of times.“What about different sets of pronouns?” Tess asked. “Maybe they/she?”“Maybe?” The German girl hesitated.“No pressure, of course. Just whatever makes you more comfortable.” Tess told her. “I just don’t know how to tell Ben and Sammy. Can you please do it for me? I don’t want to keep t- secrets from them.” Alea had almost said too many.Tess shrugged. “Sure. Not like they care much about our gender identities anyways.”They all got silent.“I’d like to go swimming.” Alea admitted.“Okay.” Tess shrugged. “Would you like more tea, Scorpio?” She looked at his empty cup. “Yes, please,” Lennox said.Tess took his cup and went into the kitchen.“Finding-Finja?” Alea called after she’d entered the water and transformed. A bright purple creature came to her and said: “Here I am.”“Can you give me something like hormone blockers or testosterone?” the merperson asked.“I don’t answer questions,” the Finja replied, a bit offended. “But follow me.”The creature shot off and Alea hurried to follow it. The Finja was in front of a field with dark blue seagrass.“How does this work?” The merperson asked. The Finja sighed. Oh. No questions. “Then tell me how to use it.”“You break one and you put the juice on your arms, thighs or stomach once every day.”“Thank you.” Alea turned to it but the Finja was already gone.The merperson uprooted as much as they could carry and she swam to Crucis. Lennox was sitting next to the ladder and helped her to get her on the deck.“What is this?” he asked.“Well,” Alea replied, scratching her neck with their free hand. “You said you wanted to start HRT…”“No!” Lennox covered his mouth with one hand.“Sorry, I just wanted to help you.” Alea was scared that she did something wrong. “I meant it in the ‘That’s so good, I can’t believe it way’.”“Oh!”“How do I use it?” Lennox asked curiously. “Well, you break it and you put it on your arms.”Lennox took one and broke it. It was filled with sparkly orange liquid that didn’t look really good and put it on his arm. He hugged them, taking care not to put the sticky liquid into her long hair. “Thank you, so much, Alea”