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The lights were harsh in the club, but Sirius wasn’t worried. He knew he looked good enough to eat, he just needed to find someone hungry. And, well… the people in there were starving.Blokes—and some girls, too, which left Sirius giddy and blushing—stopped him every few steps, trying to get him to join them on the dance floor. Sirius politely, and maybe a bit cheekily, told each and every one “Maybe in a bit, yeah?”He turned towards James and it took all of himself to not laugh out loud in his best friend’s face. Ever since they entered the club, James had been basically hypnotised by the pretty redhead working the bar. Sirius had to admit, from his too-gay-to-function standpoint, the girl was drop dead gorgeous. She was wearing a high-waist leather skirt and a crop top shorter than the one Sirius was wearing, which was daring and sinful and highlighted the curve of her hips wickedly. No cleavage was in sight, but the girls sure were there, living their bra-less best life. Sirius found himself infinitely jealous and in complete awe.Though he was faring ages better than James, who couldn’t take his eyes off of her for more than fifteen seconds at the time.“I thought we came here to pop my cherry,” Sirius said, turning James’ face towards him.“Mate, I’m about to pop something alright,” James muttered, barely audible over the loud music. “Do you think she’s gay? Or could she be bi or straight or anything that would give me a chance.”Sirius laughed, feeling silly and generous, and said, “Let’s go find out.”He ignored James’ complaints and strode confidently towards the bar, feeling good when people moved to let him pass, sneaking a glance or full on staring at his exposed waist and legs. When he reached the counter, the girl was already looking at him.“Well, aren’t you pretty,” she said in greeting, trailing her eyes over him.Sirius smiled at her. “Coming from you, that’s one hell of a compliment.”“Come again?”“Me and my friend have been entranced since we got here. James—James?” He turned around and grabbed James, who was haphazardly hiding behind two blokes talking, and sat him at the stool next to his. “We were wondering if you were at all interested in blokes? I, tragically, happen to be extremely homosexual, but my friend here has a taste for the ladies, you see…”“Oh, I see.” James’ face got visibly red, even in the dim light of the club.“So we thought it best to come and ask,” Sirius finished, propping his cheek on his palm. “Sorry if it was rude.”She chuckled. “Not rude, I appreciate it, actually. It’s a mixed club, so people—to be clear, I mean men.” She rolled her eyes, gesturing to the club at large. “They just assume I’m into them and go straight to the pick up stage. Since you asked, I’m pan, and your friend is extremely cute and probably too young for me.”Sirius gaped at her and looked her up and down. “You cannot be more than twenty-one.”This elicited a full laugh out of her, shaking so much that she had to grip the counter. “As of yesterday, I’m twenty-nine, love.”It seemed to be the right thing to say to wake James out of his beauty-induced trance. “Oh, shit! Happy birthday!”“Thank you,” she smiled at him, which unfortunately sent James back into a trance. “Though, I’d rather we—”“What has a man got to do to get a drink here?”“He should fucking wait for his—oh it’s you, love!” The fury in her eyes dissipated immediately as she laughed at the man who had arrived next to Sirius.He watched as she leaned over the counter to peck the man’s lips, and Sirius was sure he heard James whine as if he’d been punched. Poor bloke couldn’t seem to catch a break that night, because the girl turned to him with an amused expression.“Don’t worry, love,” she told him, placing a glass in front of the man and pouring a generous amount of whiskey, then sprinkling some sugar on top. “Remus here is my best friend. You’re still allowed to ogle.”“Oh, thank god,” James said, promptly turning beet red again when the bartender laughed. “Sorry, I’m usually better than—you’re just… so pretty.”“Is he okay?”The voice made him jump on his stool, and if it hadn’t been for the warm hand that kept him up, he would’ve been on the ground. He turned to the man, who kept his hand on Sirius’ waist for longer than necessary. He wanted to thank him, but the words died in his throat—the man was breathtakingly handsome, a rugged kind of beauty, the one that was born to be stared at, like the warriors of the ancient statues.“Sorry, love. Didn’t mean to startle you,” the man said, taking his hand off Sirius’ skin at last. Sirius wished he hadn’t. “You alright?”Sirius hummed and nodded, which turned out to be a terrible idea as his eyes moved down to the man’s shirt, which was half unbuttoned, which revealed chest, which Sirius desperately wanted to bite. The man gave him an odd look, and all Sirius could do was blurt out a very loud, “Sirius!”The man startled and snickered quietly. Sirius’ heart did a weird little flip at the sound and he sighed—he sighed! Like a repressed victorian woman! At that, the man tilted his head, a slow smile creeping across his lips. “That your name? Sirius? Or is that a slang of some sort?”“Yeah—yes. I mean, no, not a—yes it’s my name,” Sirius babbled, hating how his words tangled. “Like the star?”“Ah,” the man—Remus said. “Brightest in the sky.”“That’s what I’m told,” Sirius responded, then mentally slapped himself. What the hell did that even mean?!But Remus laughed and shook his head, as if he was charmed. One point for Sirius, then.“For someone who just asked if I liked blokes, you’re doing a terrible job talking to one,” the bartender laughed, making Sirius turn an embarrassing shade of pink. He kind of forgot she was even there.“I’m working on it, damn it,” Sirius shot back, trying not to melt under Remus’ amused gaze.“Leave him alone, Lils,” Remus told her, his serious tone demolished by the wide smile on his face. “Do you want a drink? On the house,” he asked Sirius, jerking his head towards the bottles on the shelves behind the pretty bartender.“Pretty sure she’s the one who can say that,” Sirius pointed out, though he sure would have loved a drink right then. James was already nursing one of his own, no doubt a rouse to talk to Lils.“I’d wager the owner gets to say it too,” Remus responded, winking when Sirius turned to gape at him. Sirius asked him for a cosmo with a damn umbrella.“So you own this place?” He asked once he took a sip of his frankly delicious cocktail.“Sure do,” Remus nodded. “My great grandpa passed it to my grandma, she to my father, then he to me. He used to own the only all inclusive speak softly shop—a speakeasy, that is—in southern UK, and we all kept it up.”“That’s… actually pretty cool,” Sirius breathed, which made Remus lean closer to him, and his hand found Sirius’ waist once more.“Pardon me?”Sirius freaked out a little bit leaning towards Remus’ ear. “Uhm… I said—I said it’s pretty cool,” he stammered.James laughed loudly behind him and, when Sirius turned to look, the fucker averted his eyes quickly. Sirius punched his shoulder as hard as he could.“Prick,” James commented, massaging his arm and glaring at him. “Listen, mate. Lily asked if we should go somewhere when she’s done here. That would be in…” He paused to glance at his phone, then put it back in his pocket. “Seven minutes.”Sirius stared at his best friend. How the hell he managed to bag Lily whilst being a ball of awkward energy was a mystery to him, and in the space of a bloody conversation. “So you’re leaving?”“Well, she did ask if we all should go,” James stated, then winked at him, “But if you want to stay, I’m trying to convince her that I’m very mature for my age.”Remus coughed in his drink on the other side of Sirius and ripped his hand from his waist. Sirius had forgotten how awful it felt to not have that hand there. “For your—how old are you?”“We’re almost twenty-one,” James beamed.“Twenty-one!?”“Mhm, but mom always says we look older than—”“Yeah no shit.” Remus’ eyes were frantically moving from Sirius to James. It made him look almost crazed.“How old are you?” James asked Remus before slightly elbowing Sirius. Sirius elbowed him right back.“I’m almost thirty…”“Oh like Lily! She turned twenty nine yesterday, you know,” James sighed dreamily. Sirius did not think it wise to remind James that the man was literally her best friend. “Imagine one year from now, we’ll celebrate her birthday and the day after, our anniversary! Double present!”Sirius kind of felt like he was watching a very strange game of tennis, turning one way then the other. That was the perfect moment to stop it.“How old did you think I was?”“I don’t know! Like…” Remus exclaimed while he waved his hands, as if trying to estimate real time. “Maybe twenty-five? I thought you were just pretty.”James, unhelpful as he always was, stood from his stool to yell, “Instead he’s just pretty young!”Sirius, naturally, laughed. He laughed so much that he got tears in the corner of his eyes. It wasn’t that funny, but paired with the look on Remus’ face—it was priceless.That was the moment Lily the bartender joined their side of the counter. She was even more stunning up close: rosy cheeks covered in freckles, and her pale eyebrows and lashes gave her an etherial vibe that paired with the chamois jacket she wore over the crop top made her look like some sort of forest deity. “Why are we laughing at Remus?”“He just found out how old we are,” James explained, holding his arm out for Lily to take.“Lils, they’re—”“Oh I know,” she grimaced, then shrugged. “I’m going to hell for boning this one and if I'm going, you’re coming with me. So bone the kid, he’s drooling all over you.”“Hey, I’m right here, you know?” Sirius asked, bringing a hand to clutch at his pearls, faking affront at the crudeness, though his face did heat up a little bit at being called out so straightforwardly.“Please do not call him a kid ever again,” said Remus, passing a hand over his face. Then, pointing a finger at Lily and James’ linked arms, he added, “So this is what you two will be doing, then?”“Apparently, yes,” James beamed, his white teeth glinting in the low light. “Although, we are available for a couple of hours of socialising.”“How very generous,” Sirius deadpanned. “I wouldn’t want to keep you from the bone.”“You do seam pretty preoccupied with the boning,” Remus agreed, barely hiding his smirk.James looked between them. “Is this your way for blessing our boning?”“Can we please stop saying ‘boning’?” Lily rolled her eyes, as if she didn’t start it.“You started it!” Was Remus response.Sirius decided there and then that they were going to have a spring wedding on the hills of Scotland. Just like that, James and Lily said their goodbyes, leaving Sirius and Remus with each other (although James did make sure Remus wasn’t secretly a serial killer ready to prey on Sirius before he went, and asked Sirius if he was sure about a thousand times).And Sirius, well… he wasn’t sure what to do with his whole body at that point, without James or Lily as buffer and mediator. Usually (and by usually he meant the one time he tried to take someone home, which resulted in Sirius hiding in the bathroom of the club for two hours until a member of the staff came to tell him that they were closing) Sirius would turn his charm up and sway his hips, or pretend to put on more lipstick, or play with his hair and expose his neck. There with Remus, however, he had the feeling it wouldn’t work.He twisted the rings on his hands only to have something to do. The silence was getting unbearable, and it had only been twenty seconds. His stomach was at risk of exploding from nerves—“We don’t, uh—” Remus’ voice startled him, so deep he was into his head. “We don’t have to do anything, yeah? I know we joked with Lily but…”The words rushed out of Sirius as if his mouth was scared of never speaking again. “No, but I want to. I really—you’re so bloody hot, it’s freaking me out a bit—sorry.”Oh, his face, his poor, gorgeous, flawless face was melting from the embarrassment, he could feel it. Farewell to his best feature, he was going to have no face for the rest of his life.“To be clear, you mean—”“The boning, yeah,” Sirius’ mouth interrupted. Strange that: his face melted but his mouth was still running.Remus laughed loudly, and Sirius wanted to kiss and nibble at that one stupid dimple. His embarrassment would have to wait, because Sirius was ready to jump the man.“Do you want to go now, then?” Remus asked when his laughter subsided.Yes! Sirius wanted to yell, but also wanted some more time to wrap his head around the direction the night was headed. “I want to dance for a bit,” he said, bravely taking Remus’ hand. Remus only brought it to his lips and placed a soft kiss on it.“I don’t dance, love,” Remus replied with a wicked smile. “But you could dance for me. Show me what I’m working with.”Yep, yes, one hundred percent, Sirius was going to fuck the man. Or, rather, be fucked by him.With a smile, and a very bratty “You asked for it”, Sirius turned around and walked a couple of steps into the dance floor, to then turn around again and locking his eyes with Remus. Predictably, someone’s hands found his waist before the beat of the song could come in, a firm chest pressing on his back.
I'm not surprised
I sympathise (ah)
I can't deny
Your appetite (ah)
The bloke breathed in Sirius’ ear what sounded like something something pretty but Sirius could not hear properly over the intensity of his fixed stare on Remus, the way he was sitting on the stool with his long legs parted and the glass of whiskey dangling from his fingers. He smirked as he took a sip, one eyebrow raised as if in challenge.
You got a fetish for my love
I push you out and you come right back
Don't see a point in blaming (you)
If I were you, I'd do me (too)
Sirius brought his arms up, around the bloke’s neck, swaying his hips in time with the music, and gasped as the guy’s lips brushed against his neck. He was still staring at Remus, and Remus was still staring at him. Sirius felt the stiff cock of the man behind him pressing on his lower back and his loud moan got lost in the heavy bass of the song. He imagined it was Remus’ cock, grinding against his back, Remus’ hand stroking his thigh, lifting the fabric of his skirt, Remus’ voice moaning in his ear.
Something about me
Got you hooked on my body
Take you over and under and twisted up like origami
Remus placed his empty glass down, his eyes never leaving Sirius, and dropped one foot on the ground. Sirius somehow, fundamentally knew that was it, his call. And Sirius answered promptly, walking without faltering straight to him, hypnotised as if Remus was a siren singing him to the depth of the ocean. He didn’t even hear the man’s complaints, so entranced he was with the vision before him.When he was close enough, Remus’ hands gripped his hips and pulled him flush against his body, his thigh slotting between Sirius’ legs. Sirius whined and threaded his fingers through Remus’ hair, unconsciously rocking his hips, seeking friction against his hard cock.“So eager,” Remus breathed in his ear. “You don’t care people are watching? You’d get yourself off like this—clothes still on and rutting against my leg?”Sirius nodded, head completely empty of any thought that didn’t concern his imminent orgasm, or Remus’ breath on his neck.“You looked so pretty out there dancing,” Remus continued. “Were you dancing for me? Or is this,” he hitched his leg up, pressing on Sirius’ prick and making him moan loudly. “For the bloke you were dancing with?”“No, no, it’s for you,” Sirius answered, pulling a bit on Remus’ hair for even thinking such nonsense. “It’s all yours. Was thinking of you, I promise.”“Oh, you promise?” He chuckled. “Must be true then. Do you still want to dance, baby?”Sirius’ hips bucked at the nickname. “I want you now, take me home, please.”“Are you sure?” Remus’ hands stroke down his legs and under his skirt, over his arse. Sirius about lost his mind when he gripped tightly, spreading him and brushing a finger on his hole, their skin separated only by the thin fabric of the thong. “You’re giving a very nice show, people might be disappointed.”Sirius understood perfectly the implications of what Remus had just said, he knew deep down a regular person would be offended by those words. What they did, though, was so far from upsetting him. Embarrassment went to join the pure licks of arousal warming his navel, making him shudder and twitch on Remus’ leg. Precum leaked out of his cock, wetting his underwear and leaving a faint stain on Remus’ trousers too.“Christ—you like that, baby?” Remus moaned quietly. “Being exposed to the room like this? Everyone is staring at your ass, bet they all want a taste of—”“Stop, stop!” Sirius almost yelled. With a strength he honestly thought he didn’t have, he stilled his hips just in time to avoid coming in the middle of the club. “Oh my god, your mouth.”“Can do more than just talking,” Remus finished for him. “Let’s go, then.”Sirius stood so fast his head spun, and he had—unfortunately, of course—to lean on Remus for support. Remus chuckled and pulled down Sirius’ skirt, then patted his arse almost fondly as he guided him to the door. When they were out in the parking lot, Remus stopped them.“Are you comfortable getting in the car with me? Or do you want me to call you an Uber?”Sirius really, truly appreciated the care, and the attention, but he did not have time for that.“Remus, I want you to know that I say this affectionately,” he started, pulling Remus’ hand in a random direction. “If you don’t take me home right now, I will jump you in this parking lot.” The drive to Remus’ place only took five minutes, but they were, without a doubt, the longest five minutes of Sirius’ life. He managed to edge himself once again in those five minutes, only listening to Remus’ filthy words about how pretty he looked grinding on a random man, how hard he got from only watching. Sirius could see that Remus’ erection had flagged a bit, but he had felt it on him in the club, rubbing against his naked thigh.The moment the doors of the elevator closed, Sirius’ nerves washed over him again, drenching him like a frigid shower and making him stiffen up. He tried to keep it under wraps, because Remus had asked about a jillion times if he was sure and he had answered yes each and all of those times. Suck it up, buttercup, he told himself.They got out on the last floor of the building, Remus showing the way to the only door. Sirius got the sense of how rich Remus was the moment they entered, as the second they closed the door behind them, a soft light and quiet music automatically turned on, illuminating the way to the rest of the house. The part that Sirius could see was gorgeous: an open space with a large couch in the middle, an island separating the dining area from the kitchen, dark wood everywhere and cozy blankets and pillows on the couch made for a very nice image of himself taking a nap halfway through the day. Sirius felt distinctly out of place.“Nice place you have,” he said shakily.In the corner of his eye, he saw Remus tilt his head to the side, considering him quietly. “Thank you,” he said after a beat. When the song ended, silence fell upon them; Sirius couldn’t bring himself to look at him. “Are you okay?” When Sirius only nodded, Remus took a tentative step closer. “I need words, baby.”Sirius exhaled before answering. “Yeah, I’m… it’s just nerves.”“We don’t have to do anything. I have a spare room you can borrow.”Sirius took his time, considering the option for one second. He was about to come not half an hour ago, how did he even get there? Then, he realised. It came so natural, the tension with Remus at the club, that Sirius didn’t have the time to think about this being his first time sleeping with someone. Call Out My Name started to play, and Sirius decided to be honest with Remus.“I want to,” he said, turning to him. “Just… you should know I’ve never done this before.”“Hook up with som—”“Yes,” Sirius interrupted him, feeling his face warm up. “And—and sex. In general. I did, uhm, stuff before, but never…that.”“And you want to do it with me?”Sirius nodded, then remembered Remus’ words. “Yes. If you want.”“I would be honoured.” He smiled softly at Sirius, taking the last step to get in front of him. His hand went to cradle his cheek, melting Sirius’ insides. “Can I kiss you?”Sirius did not answer with words, only pushed himself on his toes and kissed Remus’ plush lips. He threw his arms around the other man’s neck, immediately opening his mouth and drawing a throaty moan out of Remus. The sound went straight to his cock, making it twitch excitedly as if Sirius almost chickening out never happened.
So call out my name (call out my name)
Call out my name when I kiss you so gently
I want you to stay (I want you to stay)
He was getting extremely riled up again, only with a little snogging. Remus was singlehandedly breaking his body’s perception and reception while he slid his tongue on his, hand wandering all over him: wherever he could reach, he grasped. Sirius was done for, he was a goner as Remus’ hands found his arse and gripped it again, eliciting a very sinful noise that Sirius had never heard himself make.
I claimed you so proud and openly, babe
And when times were rough, when times were rough
I made sure I held you close to me
So call out my name (call out my name, baby)
So call out my name when I kiss you
So gently
Then Remus bent his knees and pulled Sirius straight off the ground, his big hands surely leaving bruises on his thighs with the force of his hold. Sirius gasped into his mouth before whining, the pressure of Remus’ hard stomach on his cock almost enough to finish him off—that would be extremely embarrassing. It seemed like tonight was all about Sirius feeling the shame he hadn’t felt in all of his bloody life.“That was so hot, fuck,” he whispered, leaving wet pecks on Remus’ lips and trailing down his jaw, sucking at a soft spot he found behind his ear.Remus took them to the bedroom, which Sirius only realised when his back was laid on the soft mattress. Remus was on top of him, still tightly gripping his open thighs and looking down at Sirius like he wanted to eat him whole. Sirius would’ve gladly called himself a three course meal.“How do you want it, sweetheart?”Remus and his stupid pet names. “I don’t know,” he whined, rocking his hips up to meet Remus’. “You?”“I want to fuck you so hard you cry,” Remus responded, promptly bringing Sirius to the edge once again. “I want to tie you up and hear you beg. But this is your first time.”“Want that, I want that. Please.”Sirius had no idea how he was still able to speak with his brain reduced to a mush. Remus hummed, seemingly satisfied. He laid next to Sirius, removing any stimulation from his cock, and Sirius groaned in protest.“You’re already so close, baby,” he said, stroking a line up Sirius’ thigh. “I bet I could make you come just talking.”“Remus—”“Don’t you remember in the club?” He asked lowly straight into his ear, his hand briefly brushing over Sirius’ cock, before moving to the side and pushing his skirt all the way up. “You almost came humping my leg. I know you can do it, sweetheart.” Sirius gasped, his hips thrusting upwards, seeking any kind of friction on his prick, but Remus gave him none, trailing his hand between Sirius’ cheeks and teasing at his hole again. Sirius’ brain was slowly fogging over, the warmth in his navel built so slowly that Sirius almost didn’t notice it.“Your little cock looks so pretty in these panties,” Remus continued, pressing down on his entrance and Sirius moaned desperately, hips moving frantically in direct response to Remus’ words. “I could see it while you were dancing, you know? This skirt is so small—I bet everyone in the club saw how pretty it is. Wanted to suck it before, but now I think I want to taste that little hole of—”The pressure in his navel snapped suddenly and Sirius came hard to the image of Remus eating him out, his legs wide open and his head too focused on the blinding pleasure that he almost couldn’t hear Remus cursing in his ear. His orgasm was unusually short, but then again, never before had he come from words alone.“Fuck,” he huffed in a laugh. “Your mouth is unholy.”Remus smirked at him. “Want to see what else it can do? Are you clean?”“God, yes. To both.” He stretched his arms to allow Remus to take his crop top off, then let out a quite undignified yelp when he was flipped on his stomach with minimal effort. “Christ—oh, fuck me, you’re so bloody strong.”“We’ll get to that,” Remus answered. Sirius could clearly hear his smirk. “First, let me admire you in these panties.”Sirius felt the fabric of the skirt lift from his cheeks and his face burn. His brain registered that as somehow dirtier than coming in his underwear. His breath hitched when he felt Remus’ hands massage his arse, and Sirius felt the mess he made spreading over his sensitive prick when Remus tidied his underwear on him. This made the burning spread to his chest too, and his brain threatened to short-circuit with the thoughts that were passing through it. The only thing that was consistent, was that he hoped Remus liked the view.“You’re breathtaking,” Remus said, as if reading Sirius’ mind. “A work of art, truly. Tell me if it gets too much?”Sirius faint yes was smothered by another yelp, followed by a loud moan when Remus’ teeth clasped down on his right cheek. He soothed it with a kiss, then proceeded to bite down again, following the pattern until Sirius was writhing again under his ministration. Only then did he pull the string of his thong aside to expose his puckered hole. Without a word, he latched his mouth to it, tongue flicking and lapping. Sirius screamed in the crook of his arm, a stab of pure pleasure almost painful as it twisted his guts.The sensation was strange, much different from how fingers felt, or any of his toys, so wet and warm and bloody fantastic. Then Remus stiffened his tongue and pressed the tip inside, and bloody fantastic became fucking transcendental.Sirius pulled at his hair to stay tethered to this world as he arched his back and pushed himself on his knees to move away from the fire that Remus’ tongue was lighting inside him. But Remus didn’t miss a beat and followed him up, pressing his face into Sirius’ arse to shove his tongue as deep as it would go, and Sirius sobbed, arching his back more and just taking it. The muscle in him wiggled and twisted, so slippery and slithery and fucking wet. Sirius couldn’t hear himself moan anymore, couldn’t do anything but feel, feel so much that he reached the edge over and over again, never able to trip past it.“Rem—Remus! Please,” he tried to say between moans. “I can’t come again, oh my God, pleasepleaseplease—”Remus pulled himself off and slapped his arse, hard. Sirius moaned loud and long at the delicious sting. “Yes, you can.” Another slap. “You know why? Because I said so.”He slapped his cheek again, before spreading him with one hand and deliver a harsh slap straight on his hole. Sirius jolted forward and let out a scream, but Remus brought his arse back where it was and slapped his entrance again, harder than before. Sirius’ scream mixed with a throaty moan when Remus’ mouth returned to his ass, his tongue going straight inside his open hole, now stinging and sensitive. All the sensations heightened, the nerves of his pucker flaring with pain and Sirius’ navel alight with so much pleasure that the orgasm was simply ripped out of him. The juxtaposition sent his brain into override, made him shake and sob and cry out Remus’ name as if it was the only word he knew.His comedown was slower this time, dragged out by the sting in his wet entrance and by Remus’ hands massaging his arse. When he calmed down, Remus laid next to him again, kissing his face and shoulder until the tremor stopped.“Can you go again, baby?” He asked softly. “Or should we stop?”Sirius whined, keeping his eyes closed but leaning his face closer to where Remus might’ve been. “Haven’t fucked me yet,” he murmured, and hummed happily when Remus peppered kisses on his lips.“Your little hole might be sore,” he said, tone dripping with faux concern as he pressed the tip of his finger inside of him. “Maybe we should leave it for another day.”Sirius moaned, both in protest and triumph when Remus pressed his index in completely, the slide a little dry but the burn deliriously good.“Alright, then,” Remus said suddenly, removing himself from Sirius completely. Sirius opened his eyes in alarm, feeling his stomach plummet to the ground. Did he change his mind? Did he not like how needy Sirius was? He did sound a bit pathetic—“I’m just getting lube, baby,” Remus reassured from the foot of the bed, bending over Sirius to leave a kiss on his thigh.“’s like you read my mind,” Sirius slurred.Remus chuckle came from next to him and Sirius opened his eyes. Remus had removed his shirt and trousers, and stood painstakingly gorgeous next to the bed. Sirius actually had to grip at his own hands to stop himself from touching him everywhere. He stared, though, as Remus spread lube all over his fingers, rubbing them together to warm it up.“Ready?” He asked.At Sirius’ confirmation, he parted his arse again and circled his lubed fingers against his entrance. Sirius hissed, his hole feeling even more sensitive than before after rubbing against the rough material of the string. Two knuckles slipped inside of him with ease, and Remus twisted his finger for a moment before pulling out and reentering him with two. The stretch of his rim made him gasp softly and he rocked his hips back, trying to get more of Remus’ fingers in.“Still so eager,” Remus commented, pushing deeper. “you came twice and you’re still asking for more?”Sirius nodded, too dazed to care about any shame that his behaviour could bring. Remus’ hands were big, his fingers were longer than Sirius, reaching places he never could reach with his own. Then, Remus crooked his fingers and pressed on Sirius’ prostate and it went all downhill from there. His moans got louder and louder, his rocking got harsher, and Remus began fucking him with his long fingers, adding a third without giving Sirius the time to adjust, only fucking him deep and hard, pressing on his prostate with every stab of his hand.“I’m ready—Remus, just fuck me,” Sirius gasp and shuddered at a particularly harsh twist.“I think you need one more before taking me,” he said, twisting his hand to make room for a forth finger. Sirius absolutely did not have the time.“No, no, please!” He propped himself on his knees, face pressed into the pillow as he reached behind him, holding himself open. “Please, just put it in. I like it when it hurts.”Remus’ hands left him, accompanied by a loud wet noise that had Sirius’ guts twist in arousal.He placed another spank on his hole, pulling a groan out of Sirius. “Yeah? You’ve got toys to fuck yourself with?”“Yeah,” he breathed out. “I love it so m-much. Sometimes I just push ‘em in.”A long, animalistic growl sounded from behind him and Sirius opened his eyes to a vision straight from heaven. Or hell, he had no idea and he didn’t care. Remus was looking at Sirius’ arse, at the way he was holding himself open, and pulling at his lubed cock. Said cock was huge, much bigger than any of his toys, much bigger than any cock he’d ever seen in his life. Sirius wanted to choke on it, he wanted Remus to fuck his face and press him down on it until he passed out, then fuck his mouth anyway.“Oh, shit—oh shit, Remus! Please!” He was yelling. He was so past shame that he arched his back and opened his legs even more, pressed both his index fingers in his hole and pulled, exposing his twitching hole to Remus, hoping he would just fuck him already. “Give it to me, Rem, please. I need it, I need you—aaah!”Remus spat in his hole and Sirius almost came just from that. He could feel the spit pooling just inside his muscle, he was sure that if he relaxed enough, it would just slide down… The thought made him clench on nothing, and the saliva dripped out of him and onto his bollocks, the sensitive skin making him feel every millimetre of movement.Suddenly, Remus’ hands moved his wrists to grip his thong and pull it off, moving Sirius as he wanted him. Sirius, of course, let him, gasping when he laid down on top of him and his length slotted itself between Sirius’ cheeks.“Hands on the headboard,” he commanded.Sirius immediately complied, far too gone at the feeling of Remus’ prick on him to grasp at the situation. Remus passed his soiled thong under his wrists and behind the headboard, effectively restricting Sirius’ arm movements.“Oh, god, oh, god, oh, fucking—”“One day, I will introduce you to the joy of shibari,” Remus croaked in his ear, rocking his hips back and forth. “For now, this will have to do.”Sirius could do nothing else but beg, beg for anything Remus was going to give him. He had no idea why he was still so turned on, if it was Remus, or the situation, or a combination of the two. He only had one thought in his head, and it was Remus’ cock.Remus pulled him on his knees again, before pressing the head of his prick on Sirius’ entrance, and he thought he was about to pass out from the anticipation. “Ready?”“Please, please!”Remus chuckled roughly, before Sirius felt the slippery head trying to breach him. He moaned and arched, toes curling on themselves as the burn got so intense it made him gasp. How he wished Remus just forced it in. He could feel, even through his haze, Remus’ starting to hesitate, to pull away, and his brain for some reason knew exactly what to say.“No, no, make it fit,” he whined petulantly. “Please, please just push, I’ll love it, Sir, I’ll love it so mmmh…”Remus growled again, leaning down to fist his hair with his free hand. “Little pain slut wants it hard, huh?” He asked while he rubbed his tip on Sirius’ entrance. “What if it’s too much? You’ll take it anyway?”“Yes, yes, promise.”Remus’ hold tightened and he pulled Sirius’ head back. “Yes, what?”“Yes, Sir!”He let go of Sirius’ hair and repositioned himself behind him. “Red for stopping, yellow for pause, green for go. Yes if you understand.”Sirius was surprised he did. “Yes, sir.”“Good whore,” Remus praised, before gripping the tip of his cock with his fingers and pushing. It found resistance again, and Sirius moaned and whined, thinking it was never going to fit, telling Remus that he’s sorry he’s so tight. Then, it slipped inside of him, and Sirius sobbed at the burn, the stretch, the pain, how fucking delirious he felt as Remus pushed and pushed and never seemed to end.“It’s so big, oh, god, it hurts so good,” he gasped and moaned and screamed, trying to tell Remus how good it was, trying to make him understand what he was feeling. The tip of Remus’ cock brushed over his prostate and Sirius clenched down and trembled so hard that Remus had to press him down on the mattress to not slip out of him.“Stay still,” he admonished.“I can’t, I c—Sir! Remus!” A hard smack on his arse made him clench and tremble again.“You’ll do what you’re told.”He said nothing more as he kept pressing into Sirius, horribly, tremendously slow, until he couldn’t go on anymore, the friction too much to push through. So he pulled out unceremoniously, and after a couple of seconds Sirius felt the blunt end of an object at his stretched hole. Before he had the wits to question what it was, an ungodly amount of lube was spurted directly inside of him, and Remus’ cock was back inside, pushing it deeper and deeper.Sirius was openly sobbing at that point, tears ran down his face as he shook, mind an unintelligible mix of pleasure, pain and remusremusremus. The pressure on his prostate was unbearable, which mixing with the delicious pain of his poor, abused hole made for a heady cocktail that promptly deleted any thought that did not concern the prick spearing him open. When Remus’ hips touched his, Sirius was sure he could feel the tip of his cock in his stomach.The first thrust pulled a shout out of him, hard and sure. He could hear Remus’ grunts on top of him, his nails digging into the flesh of his hips, his length pushing the lube in and out, in and out. Sirius’ entrance kept twitching, sending fresh waves of pain up his spine and dragging desperate sobs out of him.“So tight, sweetheart,” Remus panted after a particularly hard thrust that had Sirius screaming and clutching at the pillow under his face. “Feels so good—fit me like a glove. What do you say, baby? When Sir fucks you so good?”“Thank—” Sirius cried out. A hard slap came down on his arse. “Ahh! Thank you, Sir! Thank you thankyouthankyou!”“So polite,” he said. “Your unused hole knew it was made for this, didn’t it?”“Yes, Sir! I knew.”“Not you, baby,” Remus cooed, laying down on Sirius, pushing him down on his stomach. His dick, somehow, seemed to go even deeper. Sirius felt a strange kind of rush to his head when Remus spoke in his ear. “There’s nothing up here, now. It’s your hole that’s doing it all, isn’t it?”Apparently, he still had some shame, because he blushed down to his chest whispering the words. “My hole knew, sir. Knew it was a-a…”“A whore?”Sirius nodded, a sob ripping out of him when Remus suddenly pulled out and flipped him on his back. He hooked his elbows under Sirius’ knees and pushed right back in. In this new, improved position, Remus’ cock reached so deep Sirius couldn’t even make a sound for the first few thrusts. Remus kept pushing and pushing into him, and Sirius was fighting to keep his eyes opened. He could see Remus' face like that, and he didn’t want to miss a second of it: his focused expression, his blown out pupils and his wicked smile.A particularly hard thrust, paired with Remus’ mouth on his throat sent him straight to the edge, and only remembered his hands were tied when he tried to reach down to stroke himself.“Sir, please,” he whined, pulling at his thong to free one hand. “Please touch me, I'm so close.”“Come, then.”“Can’t—can’t come without—” he stuttered as a wave of pleasure washed over him, getting him closer and closer to that edge, but not enough to make him come. “Not again—I can’t Sir, pl—”“You don’t need it, baby,” Remus informed him, tutting quietly. He placed a soft kiss on Sirius’ lips, then both his wet cheeks. “You come with your hole. Your little cock is useless, isn't it? Just there to look pretty.”Sirius shook his head, and kept saying no, no, no even as waves and waves of earth shuddering pleasure made him tremble and cry out and clench down on Remus’ cock. He could taste his third orgasm in the back of his mouth, he wasn’t sure how to chase it, until Remus gripped his face in one hand and made him look in his eyes.“You need to learn to do what you’re told,” he said, thrusting violently into Sirius. “You’ll come when I say you come, do you understand?” When Sirius did not respond, he paired a hard thrust with his free hand pulling his hair, making Sirius moan loudly. “You come when I say so, do. you. understand?”“Yes, sir,” Sirius croaked, losing himself in Remus’ dark eyes.“I’ll give you three chances ‘cause your hole was brand new,” he told him. Then, “Come.”Sirius just cried as Remus thrust harshly, tears falling down his face and disappearing in his hair.
“Come.”
The growl in Remus’ voice pushed Sirius over the edge. He cried and thrashed, convulsing so hard that Remus thrusts faltered. His toes tingled, his navel melted but nothing came out of Sirius’ dick, just a pathetic dribble of come leftover from his previous two loads.That is, until Remus stood on his knees, dragging Sirius’ limp body with him and thrusting into him with abandon. Like that, Remus’ length stabbed into Sirius’ prostate and bladder, and he gasped as a strange sensation made him come again straight away. Remus kept it up, Sirius’ clenching hole did nothing to stop the assault on that particular spot inside of him that made him stop breathing. Remus’ arm was holding him up, bending the small of his back harshly, using him to reach his own end without a care in the world, and Sirius’ head swam with pride, for being such a good whore for Remus to use. The strange sensation in his gut made him twitch again and wail in ecstasy, pulling another dry orgasm from him, making him clench down again. Remus’ movement faltered at that, and he sped up his thrusts, eyes hungrily following the curve of Sirius’ body, his gaze so intense that Sirius could feel it on his skin. It made the sensation come back, but Remus stilled inside him and came. Sirius moaned and cried out at the scorching heat of Remus’ come on his inside, at how hard it must’ve been for Sirius to feel it hit his prostate. He cried out again when the sensation left him hanging on the edge of another orgasm, and he moved on Remus’ cock, trying to get him to move again. But Remus hissed and pulled out, and Sirius full on sobbed.“No, Sir! I’m almost—please one more, just one! I’m right there!”Remus huffed a laugh, sitting back on his ankles. He, once again, pulled Sirius’ body how and where he wanted it, then sank his fingers into him—four, Sirius guessed distantly—crooking them and instantly going to stimulate that magical spot. He was folded in half over Remus’ body, arms stretched taut and sore, Sirius’ soft cock dangling over his chest and face gave him a first raw seat to his urethra pulsing with the movement of Remus’ hand. His back muscle hurt at being stretched so suddenly, the back of his thighs trembled with the strain, but Sirius screeched and wailed, as Remus’ fingers relentlessly massaged that place inside him—not thrusting, just his hand sunken halfway down his palm and he just stroke and stroke until Sirius came with a silent scream, a long dribble of precum leaving his cock and landing all over his chest.It was a long, drawn out orgasm, that last one; it left Sirius shuddering and sobbing, twitching every time Remus moved his fingers even slightly. He thrusted slowly into Sirius a couple of times, and he felt like he was going to have a heart attack with the sudden spike in his heartbeat. Remus’ fingers were just so long, and Sirius had four of them inside, he took them like a champ, with tears and all. It was the singular, most pride filled moment in his life. He ought to have known he was already done for by then, completely and utterly besotted with the man who was one breath away from fisting him.When Remus pulled out, he did so slowly, and Sirius savoured the smooth glide and the wet sounds, slumping on Remus’ legs the moment his hand left him. He was very close to falling asleep—or maybe passing out would be more accurately descriptive for the way his head felt light and floaty, and his clammy skin was starting to feel the cold of being so exposed, and Remus must have known, because he laid his legs down on the bed and pulled his soiled skirt off of him, then crawled up next to Sirius’ head, untying his wrists from the headboard and gently massaging the sensitive skin.“You with me?” He asked, kneading his fingers down Sirius’ arms, coaxing the tension out of them before placing them down one at the time. “It was a lot, yeah?”Sirius hummed, not trusting his voice to come out at all in the softness of the moment. He simply let his eyes drift closed, feeling the warmth of Remus’ body next to him starting to pull him back to the present. He stretched over Sirius to grab his discarded shirt, and used it to dry up Sirius’ mess. Remus’ touch was delicate, he ran the shirt over Sirius’ reddening skin and chuckled softly when his blush reached his chest. His breath hitched when Remus passed his fingers over his spent cock.“You’re doing so good, love,” he hushed him, leaving a kiss on Sirius’ eyebrow. His fingers dipped lower, enough to wipe the fabric over the raw skin of his entrance to clear lube and cum. “Just breathe with me, yeah?”Sirius followed the slow rhythm of Remus’ breath, the slow, deliberate rise and fall of his chest in contrast with the frantic beating of Sirius’ heart. When he shivered again, Remus tugged the blanket over them both, tucking it around Sirius’ shoulders, brushing the hair from his forehead to leave a kiss there too. “Better?”“Yeah,” Sirius croaked. His voice was so quiet and small, he felt frail right there, like a whisper of wind could make him crumble to the ground. Although there, wrapped up in Remus’ arms, at Remus’ mercy, he felt safer than he ever felt in his life. It was intoxicating, hard to believe that he only met him a few hours ago, and they spent most of their time together having mind-blowing sex, yet Sirius knew that Remus would take care of him.Sirius watched through heavy-lidded eyes, too spent to move but entirely content in staying exactly where he was, as Remus cared for him with quiet tenderness.Once he was done, Remus kissed his shoulder before pulling the blanket higher, tucking it under Sirius’ chin. “Still with me, love?”Sirius gave a small nod, his eyes half-closed but full of trust. He hummed then, content with Remus’ fingers softly stroking through his hair, and fully engrossed listening to the steady, calming rhythm of his breathing.“Rest now,” Remus whispered, leaving a kiss on the shell of Sirius’ ear. “I’ve got you."Sirius fully believed him, instinctively. He sank further into Remus’ warmth, feeling his body unwind with each gentle stroke of fingers through his hair. Remus’ presence was reassuring but gentle at is side, Sirius was slowly becoming addicted to the way he held him as if Sirius was something precious and fragile.Remus shifted slightly, adjusting Sirius so he could settle his head more comfortably on his chest, his breath brushing against Sirius’ face in soft, steady waves. The slow rise and fall of Remus’ chest became a metronome, each movement drawing him closer to a deep sleep, unwinding his body into releasing any lingering tension in his bones. Sirius’ perception of time was all over the place, warped and stretched out seconds felt like hours so close to Remus, yet sleep was coming too soon, when Sirius still wanted to enjoy their closeness.He was powerless, though, to the power of Remus’ hand stroking up and down his back, lulling him deep into sleep. The last thing he felt was Remus’ lips on the crown of his hair and the rumble of his low voice in his chest, wishing him sweet dreams.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
It had been almost two months, and Sirius never wanted to see Remus again. Not to be dramatic, but the man literally ruined his life.The stupid man had seduced him, fucked him within an inch of his life, gave him the best orgasms he ever had, then he had the guts to make him breakfast the morning after and drive him home. And it had left Sirius spiralling down towards the depths of insecurity hell, the way Remus had just smiled at him and kissed his cheek before driving away out of Sirius’ life, not even looking back—okay, he had looked back but only once!Again, not to be dramatic, but Sirius was left completely enamoured, and also well aware of the enormous cliché he had become, besotted with the guy who took his virginity and all. That was why, in the weeks that followed his realisation, he did his best to jump on as many dicks as he could. He went to bars, and clubs, and he found one even in the park during his morning run and took it home with him. To his utter horror, none of the guys had been able to even come remotely close to Remus and his level of competence in manoeuvring Sirius’ whole being until he couldn’t think anymore, nor any of them have cuddled and pampered him after their session of subpar sex, unlike Remus had done that night and the morning after, washing his hair and applying salve on his arse, which had led to mutual handjobs under the warm water of the shower and a very sexually satisfied Sirius.James told him that he was being stupid, that if he wanted to fuck Remus again he should just ask him and get it over with. Sirius threw a pillow in his face for making sense and also not. He could do that, but he was not about to embarrass himself running after a boy, thank you very much.Enamoured wasn’t quite the right word, though, Sirius was literally obsessed with the man, after one night and a perfect, quiet little morning with breakfast in bed and a shower filled with wandering hands and long snogging sessions. He looked for him everywhere, he even went back to the Moonshine, trying to catch a glimpse of the curly brown hair and chickening out five minutes into his mission. Instead, he agreed to go home with the first decent boy who asked him, to have subpar sex and listen the required ‘I’m not really a relationship guy’ speech when he was at the door.It didn’t help that Remus the sex god was everywhere, now that James and Lily were becoming an official couple or whatever dating crap James had said. (“That’s because he’s her best friend!” James had yelled, quite exasperated. “Like you’re mine. You come out with us, and so does he.” Sirius had only sniffed at him, offended to his very soul that he would have to get visitations to see his best friend and his girlfriend.)The first time Sirius saw Remus again had been when he enter the door of the pub James, Lily and him were in, and Sirius hid in the bathroom for half an hour, and only came out because James came to drag him back to the table. That had been possibly one of the most embarrassing nights of Sirius’ life because not only it looked like he had some sort of stomach bug that kept him in the loos for ages, he also had to sit in front of the man he had called sir, that he had unabashedly beg to rail him into the mattress, that pushed half of his hand into him.To top it all off, Remus and his stupid gorgeous face stopped him right before Sirius could run inside his Uber to tell him that he had gotten tested after they had sex, and came back clean in case Sirius was concerned about it. Sirius was not concerned in the least, even if he probably should’ve. That night he had come twice in a row thinking of the way Remus’ come had dripped out of him.It was the turning point for Sirius’ brain: the pub night was the night he decided to put his newfound prowess into fruition, and started trying out the joys of occasional (protected!) sex. As it had been established, other men did not measure up to the standard of Remus, and Sirius was salty about that. Four men, and not one had been able to even come close to his level. One had even stopped midsex to ask Sirius if he could be quieter, which had sent Sirius into his head so much that he didn’t even come, and proceeded to think about what the guy—Lucris? Luscius? Luca?—had said and deliberated that it was the reason Remus did not come back for more. It was for that reason that Sirius, on the night of Holy Halloween, found himself getting ready in Pandora’s house rather than his own. James had invited him out with them, of course, but the plan was pregaming at their house, then going to meet Remus’ friend at a club. That had been too much for Sirius to deal with.“Ah… I had made plans for us to go with Reg! But Lily wasn’t here yet and all, so don’t worry and have fun—”“Bullshit,” James had said with an eyebrow raised. “Did you know that the corner of your mouth twitches when you lie?”Sirius did not know. “Okay, so I lied. What about it?”“You don’t want to come because of Remus,” James had stated. Sirius hated being so obvious.“Yes, well… I don’t fancy spending the night watching him snogging his friend.”Sirius had pouted so hard that James had acquiesced, then Sirius felt incredibly guilty and manipulative that he cried and apologised and told him that it really wasn’t a problem, he would go with Reg and James could do the stupid Will Turner/Elizabeth Swann costume with Lily.Then, because he wasn’t petty at all, Sirius dressed up as a noblewoman, who is the daughter of the Governor of, say, Port Royal, and who was absolutely edible in a very tight corset bodysuit and a billowy mesh skirt.“So, Elizabeth Swann?” Regulus asked from the door of the bathroom, where Sirius was doing his hair and explaining to him his costume.“Not—no,” Sirius stammered. He caved one second into Regulus’ silence. “Ok, maybe I could be Elisabeth, with the s, and it wouldn’t—”“It’s the same person,” his brother deadpanned and rolled his eyes. “I don’t know why you’re so concerned. She won’t be the only person dressed as basically the only woman in the franchise.”Sirius beamed at his smart, smart brother. “Knew you’d get it. What’s your costume?”Regulus looked down at his white shirt and tie before answering. “A stock broker.”Sirius had laughed so hard that he had to reapply his make up. The club Barty took them to was a hole in the wall, decadent-looking queer heaven, with dancers on tables, smoke machines, and a condom dispenser with a breathalyser on the wall next to the loos. Sirius was absolutely in love with it all. Safety first, he thought, washing his hands with the frigid water of the tap. Not that he intended on using those, since he stuffed the pockets of his faux fur with his own. Wishful thinking? Maybe, but he had to be realistic: his outfit tonight was a one-way ticket into someone’s pants.He smiled at his reflection on the dirty mirror and checked how much he could stretch his arms before his nipples peaked out of the corset. In a bout of inspiration, he smudged the corner of the pencil lining his eyes. He stepped out of the bathroom very satisfied of himself. The mesh skirt swished with every step, drawing all kinds of glances as he sauntered through the club like royalty surveying his kingdom. He smirked to himself when eyes lingered on his legs, winked at every person who placed a hand on his cinched waist to let him pass.Regulus had a very unimpressed look on his face when Sirius sat down next to him at their table.“Does it not bother you?” Evan asked, nodding towards the crowd Sirius just exited.“Not really,” he shrugged, taking a sip of his drink. It burned in the most satisfying way, sending a rush of warmth to his belly and leaving the taste of sugar on his tongue. He didn’t want to get wasted, especially if he was going to get freaky with someone, but he could never say no to a caipirinha.“At least you’re consistent,” Regulus said. “Imagine wanting to be the centre of attention everywhere but in a club.”“You make me sound like an attention whore, Reg.” Sirius smiled smugly and shook his head. “I’ll have you know, I’m very dignified.”“You’re dressed as Elizabeth Swann.”Sirius straightened, lifting his chin defiantly. “Elisabeth. And she’s regal and has a commanding presence. Thank you for noticing.”Before Regulus could obliterate him with a one-liner, Barty showed up, already bouncing with excitement with Pandora close behind him. “Are we dancing or what?” he yelled over the music, grabbing Evan’s arm and pulling him toward the dance floor without giving him a chance to object.Sirius watched them go, a pang of envy shooting through him. He had gone out with them enough to know that, before the end of the night, they would lock themselves in a bathroom stool and go at it at least twice. Sirius himself had walked in on them a bunch of times.He stood, drowning the drink in one go and following Pandora and Regulus in the middle of the dance floor. He wanted—needed a distraction from the Remus-shaped hole in his mind, and this place was practically begging for it.Loud music ripped on the walls and blended with the heat of bodies packed together, and Sirius let it wash over him, pull him into its rhythm. He let himself go as Pandora wrapped her arms around him and Regulus, pulling them deeper, where the lights flickered like dying stars, casting everyone in half-shadows.There, he caught someone’s eye—light hair, sharp smile, and arms bigger than Sirius’ thigh. He sent him a smile of his own and quirked an eyebrow, not stopping the movement of his hips. He liked to make them chase him, make them come to him. It made him feel invincible.The bloke turned to say something in his friend’s ear, then started to make his way to Sirius. He did not take his eyes off him for one second, and Sirius’ stomach twisted in delight. His heartbeat raced as he stared at the man closing the distance between them, steps slow and deliberate as if he knew Sirius wouldn’t go anywhere. He looked like an animal stalking his prey, ready to pounce.“Nice costume,” the bloke said, leaning back to rake his eyes over him up close. He followed the line of his corset down to his thigh. “You wearing anything under this?”Sirius loved when they chased him, when they wanted and asked. “Maybe I’ll let you find out.”The stranger hummed and smiled. “Take a spin for me,” he said, dropping his gaze to Sirius’ hips.Sirius raised an eyebrow, biting back a grin, then slowly turned on the spot, swaying his hips so the bottom of the corset pressed into the meat of his arse. He felt the stranger’s eyes on him, burning the barely hidden skin of his thighs, a hand slowly brushing on his hip and lingering on the hem of his boots.When he faced him again, the man’s expression was one of pure, satisfied hunger. “Love the boots,” he said, a finger finding his way under the faux leather. “They make your ass look fantastic.”Sirius tilted his head up to meet the man’s eyes, his smirk not wavering as he passed the tip of his tongue on his lip. “You know, I don’t give private shows for free.”The man chuckled, a deep, rumbling sound that vibrated through Sirius’ chest. “You think I’m not going to pay up?”Sirius leaned in to brush their hips together as he whispered, “I don’t know... I haven’t seen your wallet yet.”“How about I show you, then?”Before Sirius could respond, the bloke’s hands were on him, turning him around and sliding confidently to his waist, pulling him flush against his body. Sirius went with it, their bodies moving under the thrumming beat of the music as if they’d done this a hundred times before. It was intoxicating, every touch lighting sparks under Sirius’ skin, sending his mind into a dizzying haze. He loved the way the man handled him, firm, sure, confident hands trailing fire on his waist, his arms, his legs. He liked the way their bodies fit together, how big the man felt, tall and built, against his lithe figure. It was exhilarating, and Sirius felt his pulse quicken, his breath hitch slightly as the man’s hand slid lower, grazing just above his hip bone.The man’s lips brushed against the skin of his neck, before leaving a small kiss on the back of his ear that made Sirius’ knees buckle.“What’s your name?” the man breathed in his ear, his hands gripping firmly at his hips.Sirius leaned his head on his shoulder, exposing more skin for the man’s mouth. “What’s yours?”The man’s soft, throaty laugh sent a shiver down Sirius’ spine. “Fabian,” he said. He pulled Sirius closer, until his crotch was flush against Sirius’ arse, grinding in a slow, purposeful dance.“Sirius,” he moaned, fingers pulling at Fabian’s hair. Up close, Sirius could see, it was a reddish kind of blonde.“You’re driving me mad, Sirius,” Fabian murmured, grazing his teeth on his shoulder. “You look delicious. What are you supposed to be?”It took a couple of seconds for Sirius to respond, too preoccupied with arching his back and moaning softly at the outline of Fabian’s length pressing on his arse. “I’m… my brother said Elizabeth Swann.”“Mh, aren’t you just perfect.” Fabian’s lips latched themselves on his lobe, teeth pulling at it lightly, sending a jolt of electricity straight in Sirius’ dick. “My whole group dressed up as pirates, too.”“No, I’m…” A groan cut his sentence when Fabian tongue went up the column of his neck. “The corset—it’s before.”Fabian hummed, his fingers finding Sirius’ cinched waist. “Did you want to run away with a pirate tonight?”“Maybe you should take me for yourself,” Sirius teased, his brain overstimulated and turned on.His pulse quickened at the heat of Fabian’s breath on his skin, and he couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face as they continued to move together, lost in the music, lost in each other. Fabian’s hands were everywhere—his arse, his stomach, his hips—exploring, guiding him through the thrumming beat. The rest of the world faded away right there, it was just the music, the crowd, and Fabian’s hard body behind him, promising Sirius a very good time. The lines between them blurred—he could feel the anticipation crackling in the air, a powerful pull that drew him closer to the warm body moving against him.He was honestly minding his business and, for the first time in almost two months, he was not thinking of the guy dancing with him as a replacement cock, when it all went sideways. And he meant it in the best possible way imaginable.Fabian’s friend appeared next to them, interrupting their grinding to yell something to Fabian. Sirius heard him swear profusely and laughed, reluctantly peeling himself off his body to turn around. His friend was pretty, the shaggy kind that his mother always used to scorn him for. He liked her instantly, with her wolf cut and her leather pants.“Sirius, Marlene. Marlene, Sirius,” Fabian said, snaking a hand around Sirius’ waist. “Listen, this friend of ours just arrived, and she wanted to introduce her new boyfriend to me since I’m in town. Do you want to come with? Or should I find you later?” He snickered at Sirius’ raised brow. “Yeah, I won’t find you anywhere later, will I?”“I’m not going to sit around and wait, if that’s what you mean,” Sirius said honestly. He was half-hard under the slip of his corset, he was going to find someone to at least get off with.“Too pretty for that,” Fabian agreed. “Come, then.”Sirius made quick work of warning Reg and Pandora, whom he found sitting at their table with an ungodly amount of empty glasses in front of them. They giggled and winked at him, before waving their fingers at Fabian and returning to whatever their drunken conversation had been about.Fabian led him through the crowd, holding his hand and looking back every couple steps. It made Sirius feel nice, and he thought that maybe Fabian would take care of him after, even if they end up having mediocre sex.“You’re not from here, then?” Sirius asked him over the music when they stopped to let a very distressed waitress pass.“I am, but I work in Boston,” Fabian nodded, hugging Sirius’ hips to keep him close as they moved back into the crowd. “I was here for my mom’s birthday. I’m leaving in two days.”“Shame. My birthday is on the third.”“Are you inviting me to your party?”“I’m sure inviting you into my bed,” Sirius teased, leaning close to his ear. “Thought that was clear.”“Excuse me for being a gentleman,” Fabian answered, sneaking his hands on Sirius’ arse, very much proving himself not one.“Thought you were a pirate.”
“Sirius?”
The voice made him jump, just like it had done in the club where they met. He turned slowly, keeping a hold of Fabian’s neck to avoid plummeting to the ground in mortification. Remus was there, looking between Sirius and Fabian like they were the ones who appeared out of nowhere and not him.“Moony!” Fabian laughed loudly in Sirius’ ear. Who the fuck is Moony? “Where the hell is Lily?”“Lily?!” Sirius yelled, turning to Fabian with his eyes wide. “Tell me that her boyfriend’s name is not James, please.”“It’s—how do you know?” Fabian asked, eyes just as wide.“James is Sirius’ best friend,” Remus explained. Sirius turned to him in time to see his eyes moving away from Sirius’ legs. He smiled at Remus, feeling giddy and lightheaded. “You—um, I was coming to fetch you, actually.”“Me?” Sirius asked, then promptly turned beet red. Remus laughed lightly.“Fabian,” he corrected. “But I see you come as a deal?”He nodded to a spot behind him and turned around, walking in the direction of the bar. Sirius spotted James’ mess of hair right after the shock of red that was Lily’s. The moment they were close enough, Sirius recognised the signs of a drunk James immediately, looking at his slouched posture, the glossy eyes and wandering hands. When James saw him, his face split into a beaming smile.“My love!” He yelled, too loud even for the noisy club. He launched himself on Sirius and gave him a sloppy kiss on the cheek. When he straightened up, he looked him up and down, gaping. “Holy shit, that’s hot!”Sirius laughed, bowing mockingly and swaying his hips as he turned, arms spread wide to show off the whole outfit. Lily pretended to faint as James wolf whistled. Sirius watched as Remus’ eyes took him in, gaze devouring every inch of his body like a starved man.“My pansexual mouth is foaming,” Lily said, words a bit jumbled up, as she brushed her fingers over the material of Sirius’ skirt. “This is so pretty!”“Pandora brought it from Milan,” he told her, though he could as well not have from the distant look she had as she turned to James.“I want a pretty skirt!” She yelled.James did not miss a beat, gripping her hands and looking into her eyes with adoration. “The skirt will be pretty ‘cause it’s yours!”At that, Lily grabbed James’ arm and dragged him away, leaving the three of them staring at the back of their head.“They’re embarrassing,” Remus finally said, turning to Fabian. “I think you’re going to have to wait tomorrow for introductions.”Fabian laughed, shaking his head. “It’s fine, they’re cute. Where’s Marls?”Remus rolled his eyes. “Disappeared with Dork after coming to get you.”They spoke for a while, and Sirius would’ve been upset at being ignored if it wasn’t for Fabian’s hand stroking his hip, or Remus’ eyes darting to him every couple of sentences. They caught up—apparently, they hadn’t seen each other in almost six months, and Sirius struggled to follow along the conversation as his brain came up with completely unwanted questions: was Remus jealous? Did he think about Sirius as much as he thought of him? Did he come to the memory of the night they spent together as much as Sirius?Then, embarrassingly, he imagined Remus giving pointers to Fabian on how to fuck him right, telling him all the things that made Sirius scream, each and every way Sirius could be a good whore for him too, like he had been for Remus. A small moan left his mouth when Fabian’s hand slid down his hipbone, following the line of his corset over his groin. His cock twitched in delight when the side of his palm grazed against it.Sirius held his breath, savouring the moment, before he leaned back on Fabian’s chest, burying his fingers in the hair at the back of his neck, enjoying the way it felt to be so desired. When he opened his eyes, he caught Remus watching them, a soft, bemused smile playing on his lips, and he felt a thrill of anticipation running down his spine. In that moment Sirius decided to let go of the last shred of modesty he still had, and reached his free hand towards him in a silent request.Surprise flickered on Remus’ face, but he complied promptly, linking their fingers together and stepping into Sirius’ personal space. He dropped his head on Fabian’s shoulder, keeping his eyes fixed into Remus’ as he pulled him closer, arching his hips to push his arse on Fabian’s crotch.“You want him, too?” Fabian’s voice was low in his ear. “Two pirates and a pretty noble lady. Doesn’t bode well.”“For you or for me?” Sirius asked, pulling Remus closer. “'Cause I can’t imagine not having a great time.”“Gotta warn you, Fab.” Remus pushed a strand of hair behind Sirius’ ear. “This one’s a bit of a whore.”He felt Fabian’s swaying falter a little, but he laughed when Sirius moaned loudly and turned his face to hide in his neck. “Is he now? You fucked him already?”“Oh, yes. He’s very needy, you’ll like him.”The bass thrummed through the floor, vibrating up Sirius’ spine as he swayed to the rhythm of the music. The club was alive with bodies moving in unison, a sea of limbs and lights that blurred into a kaleidoscope of colour. But Sirius couldn’t hear anything else over how hard his breathing was, with his focus so narrowed, locked onto the two men who flanked him and trapped him with their hands in a possessive grip on his hips.Fabian was moving behind him—moving him, his body guiding Sirius’ again. Remus stood unmoving just inches away from them, his eyes never leaving Sirius’ face, observing as if cataloging every tiny shift in his expression. The intensity of his gaze made Sirius’ breath hitch, a small shiver running down his spine.“You like this, huh?” Fabian’s voice was a low rumble in Sirius’ ear, lips brushing against the sensitive skin just below it. “You like that we caught you?”Sirius swallowed, his throat dry despite the humid air of the club. He could feel the heat radiating off both men, a boiling tension that had been building in the span of a few minutes.“I… um,” Sirius hesitated, his head swimming while his face heated. He glanced at Remus, as if seeking some sort of confirmation, but the man only smiled wolfishly, a mean, knowing curve of his lips.“Don’t be shy now,” Remus tutted, his hand sliding from Sirius’ hip to his waist, stepping closer and caging him between them at last. “We can see how much you want it.”Sirius’ heart raced, the proximity making it hard to think straight. He could feel Fabian’s erection pressing against his back, in contrast to the soft, teasing touches he’d been trailing over Sirius’ hip and groin. And Remus… Remus was so close, his body flush against Sirius’ front, the press of their chests nearly stealing his breath.“Tell us,” Fabian demanded, his voice rougher now, more urgent. His hand slid higher, roughly raking over his torso and gripping his jaw tightly. “Tell us how bad you need this.”Remus then lifted his hand to pull down one side of Sirius’ cleavage, and pinched his nipple hard. Sirius yelped and shuddered, the sensation sending sparks of pain and burning need through his veins.“I want—I want both of you,” he admitted, his voice cracking for how much he fucking wanted.Remus chuckled, turning to Fabian and pointing at Sirius’ nipple twisted between his fingers. “See? Maybe he needs a bit of encouragement, but he’s a good whore.”Sirius’ knees buckled at that, the heat in his navel so intense that he feared he’d come if they kept it up for much longer. “Now, please—”He gasped as Remus let go of his aching nipple, and his fingers gently put the corset back on his chest. He studied Sirius’ face again, then moved his eyes to Fabian. Whatever silent conversation they had, it ended with Sirius being gently moved to stand on his own shaky legs, something, he made very clear with a pout, he did not appreciate.“Just one second, baby,” Remus chuckled, passing a reassuring hand down his exposed arm. “How much have you had to drink?”“I didn’t… not much,” he stammered, confused by the shift in tone. “Just a drink hours ago.”“You sure you want this?” Fabian asked, eyes flickering between Sirius and Remus. “Hundred percent? ‘Cause I’m game.”When Sirius nodded, Remus tutted and shook his head. “I need words, baby.”I need words, baby. Sirius whined at the memory of the first time he heard the sentence come out of Remus’ mouth, in his apartment, before the best night of Sirius’ life. Maybe tonight would be just as good, or maybe it could be even better. His eyes closed at the prospect, but he opened them right after, and smiled at the way both of them were watching him.“Yes. One hundred percent, I want both of you to fuck me,” he stated, biting down on his lip to stop the mischievous giggle that threatened to burst out of him. It really was not the time to gloat. “I’m going to tell Reg I’m leaving with at least one of you.”He turned without waiting for a response and strode towards their table, turning only once to make sure they were watching him walk. Sure enough, both their gazes were boring holes into Sirius’ skirt as they walked almost dazed behind him and he laughed, because he loved the feeling of being wanted so badly, of having eyes on him. It was electric, that rush of power and allure, and he knew how to wield it, he had learned at last how to use his delicious mix of confidence and recklessness, knowing they couldn’t take their eyes off him, couldn’t stop thinking about what could happen, all the beautiful, wonderful things they could do.When he reached their table, Regulus was fairing a bit better than before, nursing a bottle of water next to Pandora, who had somehow lost her top and was showing off her bralette to Barty. Regulus raised an eyebrow at him, his eyes going from Sirius to behind him. “Leaving?” he asked, smirking.“Yup,” Sirius replied, popping the p. “Pirate with the sword is Remus, by the way.”“Shut up!” Barty screeched, straightening his back to get a glimpse of the man. “Holy shit, you weren’t kidding. He looks like he has a huge dick.”“And he does, apparently,” Pandora supplied, repositioning her boobs as she thought best. “Be safe, yes? Call if you need us?”“‘Course.” Sirius took his coat from Regulus’ stretched arm, thanking him with a wink. “Don’t have too much fun without me.”Pandora, already giggling, gave him a mock salute. “Wouldn't dream of it.”“I’ll see you tomorrow, yes?”Sirius smiled as he smoothed his little brother’s hair back into place. “Of course, you will.” When Regulus only gave him a look, Sirius glanced back at Fabian and Remus, who were still staring, like moths drawn to the flame. He smirked at his brother. “I’ll be in good hands.”And with that, he blew kisses at each of them and went back to his night. Outside, the wind was cold and sharp against Sirius’ almost naked skin, and he hugged his coat tighter, though it did nothing to dampen the excitement buzzing through him. He felt Fabian’s presence behind him, solid and steady, with Remus just a step further, watching them with that calm intensity that had Sirius melting in a puddle of hormones.“Where to, then?” Remus asked, his voice low as he sidled up next to Sirius, slipping an arm around his waist like it was the most natural thing in the world. The music in the club had left Sirius with a thrum in his brain, and the street was so quiet that they all heard Fabian’s quiet hum.“My hotel isn't far,” he said. “You’re going to give me so much shit, but I’m staying at the Kimpton.”Now, Sirius had no idea of what the hell the sound he made was, or where it came from. He only knew that both him and Remus choked on their breaths, and both of them stopped in the middle of the pavement.“The fucking—you’re joking.”“So, I’m the only broke one here,” Sirius muttered, more to himself than to the others. Both Remus and Fabian laughed.“I might be well off, but I cannot afford to even look at that place,” Remus said in a concerned shudder. “Costs more than the Moonshine makes in a year.”Fabian huffed, “You’re so dramatic. It’s not that much if you think of—”“All the expensive things included in the price?” Sirius finished for him, laughing when Fabian pinched his side. “Sounds rich to me.”Fabian chuckled, shaking his head. “Alright, alright. It’s very nice, though.”Remus' hand tightened just slightly around Sirius’ waist, and he glanced up at him, catching the flicker of amusement in Remus’ eyes.“As long as they don’t charge us for breathing the air,” Remus added with a smirk.“I’m sure Fabian’s paying for that too,” Sirius teased, nudging Fabian with his hip.The streets around them were quiet, the city’s usual nighttime chaos felt distant, muffled somehow in this moment. Sirius’ heart was still racing: he couldn’t remember the last time he felt this giddy, not even the time with Remus, which had been tainted with the anxiety of his first time. He could feel Remus' thumb brushing lightly against his hipbone over the faux fur, steadying him, probably aiming to ground him, but only succeeding in making Sirius even more randy. He was ready to run towards the stupid hotel at that point.Fabian lead them to a side street, then another, before showing the way around Russell Square and stopping them in front of the majestic old building that housed the hotel.“The real question is,” Sirius started, tilting his head back to gaze up at the large windows on the facade. “Is the room soundproof? ‘Cause I’m loud.”Fabian laughed out loud, his deep voice echoing slightly down the empty street. “It is, princess.”Sirius hummed, letting Remus push him gently from behind towards the doors. His brain disconnected right there, feeling the faint press of the man’s cock against him. It wasn’t hard, not like it had been in the club, resting in the crease of Sirius’ groin, but it was big. As big as he remembered. Sirius would’ve been in awe at the interior—marble everywhere, stone stairs and chandeliers, sweeping staircase, a gorgeous picture in front of his eyes—if Fabian’s hand hadn’t gripped his and pulled them towards the lift, basically punching the number for the top floor.When the doors closed, Remus pushed him roughly against Fabian and brought their lips together, devouring Sirius’ mouth with a grunt. Fabian tore his coat off of him, hands moving on his chest, sweeping over his clothed nipples and pinching, ripping a moan out of him and making his hips buck up.Remus pulled back and looked at him with so much fire in his eyes that for a moment, Sirius thought he’d bend him over right there in the lift. Instead, he asked: “Do you remember your safe words?”It took a moment for Sirius’ brain to give meaning to those words. Ultimately, he nodded, “Red for stopping, yellow for pause. Green is for fucking please.”Remus smirked, “Good,” and gripped Sirius’ hair in a fist, before turning him around and pushing his chest against the wall. Sirius instinctively opened his legs and arched his back, desperately hoping for anything that would give him relief. “Look what we have here,” he heard him say to Fabian.“Knew I brought this for a reason,” Fabian replied. There was a ruffle behind him, then two hands gripped his arms and brought them behind his back. One moment later, the rough fabric of rope grated against his skin. Sirius moaned loudly, trying to turn his head to see but Remus’ fist in his hair didn’t let him move. “We got ourselves a pretty princess, didn’t we,” Fabian said, twisting the rope around Sirius’ wrists. “Bet she’ll make a nice treat for the sharks, huh?”The elevator dinged, and Remus guided him out, yanking at his hair to make him follow, not waiting for Sirius to catch up. Sirius’ cock was weeping in his corset, arousal twisted his guts so much it almost hurt. They stopped in front of a door, Sirius couldn’t see anything of it from where he was bending down with Remus’ hand, but he saw the plush carpet that lined the room floor, beige and white and looking bloody expensive. Remus threw him down on it.“Maybe we should have a little fun first,” he said, looking down at Sirius as Fabian closed the door behind them. “It’ll be nice watching him walk the plank after our cocks, won’t it?”Sirius mewled when Fabian laughed, stopping next to Remus to seemingly evaluate their prize. Sirius breathed heavily, rolling on his side to get on his knees, trying to regain a bit of composure. Fabian watched him struggle, and when Sirius was about to prop himself up, he raised a foot and pushed him—not hard, but enough to make him lose his balance and fall back on the floor with a miserable yelp.“Prisoners don’t move unless they’re told,” he said, taking a step towards Sirius. He used one foot to open Sirius’ legs, humming as if pleased with the sight. “You know, Moony, you’re right. He’s got to be a fun ride, all dolled up.”“Careful not to make him come, talking like that,” Remus warned, watching as Sirius squirmed with a mean smile. “I think we should get him naked, but leave the boots.”Then, Fabian crouched down between Sirius’ open legs and undid the clasp on the bottom of his corset, before turning him on his stomach to pull at the strings that tightly bounded it. Sirius whined when his cock made contact with the rough material of the carpet, and he had no shame in the way he humped the floor, the friction deliciously painful after so little stimulation.A hard smack came down on his thigh, only made worse by the mesh of his skirt absorbing the sting but letting the strike pass. Sirius took a deep breath once Fabian managed to untie the whole top and slid it down his body, removing the skirt in one smooth motion. Another smack hit him on his arse, and this time the sting hit him so good that he felt the pressure of tears in the back of his eyes.“Oh, princess is a crier?” Fabian asked mockingly, pushing Sirius’ hair away from his face.“Bet she’ll look all cute with her make up running,” Remus added, as if he hadn’t washed Sirius’ make up off his face before. “On your knees, whore.”Sirius did his best to comply immediately, bending his knees under him and yelping when a hand suddenly opened his cheeks. He was face down on the carpet, unable to move away from the grip on his arse with his hands tied behind his back. His face burned when he thought of the picture they painted, Sirius on the ground only in his thigh-high boots, with Fabian behind, looking at his most private part like a merchant assessing the price of his merch, while Remus towered over them both.“Don’t—don’t look, please…” he found himself mumbling, lost in the arousal of the fantasy.“Did you say something, princess?” Remus asked, his feet appearing in Sirius’ line of sight.“He’s looking…” was all he managed before he moaned at Fabian’s tongue licking over his entrance, slow and languid, almost savouring him.A strained sob left him when the hands on his backside disappeared, only to come back on his shoulders, hoisting him up on his knees. He could see them now, fully dressed looming over his naked body kneeling on the floor. He felt beautifully helpless, at the mercy of the two men in front of him.“I think princess should have a taste, too. What do you say?” Fabian stated. His hands went to the button of his trousers, and Sirius nodded furiously. He huffed a laugh, tutting. “Wasn’t asking you, pretty whore.”He didn’t hear Remus’ response because Fabian unzipped his trousers and pulled out his length, and Sirius’ mouth watered at the sight of the gorgeous erection in front of him. It was thick and long, not as big as Remus’, but close, and Sirius wanted to know what it’d feel like in his mouth.Fabian stepped forward, one hand stroking at his cock and the other closing on Sirius’ hair, pulling him closer to his hips. “Open wide, now,” he said, and pushed his cock into Sirius’ mouth as soon as his lips parted.The weight of it on his tongue became one of his new favourite things. Fabian thrusted forward slightly, giving Sirius the chance to get used to the foreign object in his mouth, before sliding inside until he hit the back of Sirius’ mouth, making him choke and splutter. He pulled out then, bending Sirius’ head backwards before entering his mouth again, pushing his cock in his throat without obstruction. Sirius choked again, and tears finally rolled down his eyes at the assault on his throat. He felt lightheaded as he tried to breathe through his nose but failed, brain too preoccupied with moaning and whimpering to coordinate his body and manage his most basic functions.Fabian came too far down his throat for Sirius to taste any of it. Then, he pulled out and Sirius gasped and coughed, doing his best to stay upright when the hand on his hair moved him to the side to—ohh, fuck.He looked at the length in front of him, circled by fingers he had had dreams about. He knew that cock—he knew intimately how it felt to be fucked by it, but he had yet to find out what it tasted like. It had been two months since he had been this close to it, and he couldn’t fathom one more second without that sacred knowledge.He opened his mouth as wide as he could, tongue lolling out to make space as Fabian’s hand pushed him down Remus’ prick, long and firm and fucking mouthwatering. Remus groaned as the hand pulled Sirius’ head back, only the tip resting on his tongue; Sirius did all he could to taste Remus’ precome, he sucked hard and licked his slit, moaning brokenly in the back of his throat when the taste of Remus exploded in his mouth, sending a rush of heat to his navel getting him close to the edge.With no warning, Fabian pushed Sirius all the way down on Remus, pressing his nose to his skin and keeping him there for a few seconds. Not too long, but enough for the lack of air to mix with the intense wave of arousal that washed over him, catapulting him over the edge. He choked and moaned, rolling his eyes in the back of his head as he came all over himself and the carpet, feeling the tip of Remus’ cock jolt in his throat as he came too.Fabian let him go then, pulling at Sirius’ hair until Remus’ soft length slipped out of his mouth. Sirius gasped and cried, falling back on the floor with a thud, not daring to look up at the other men.“I suppose I ought to have expected that,” Remus said, panting as he collected his breath. “Maybe the whore is wasted walking the plank. Maybe we should sell her and get some money for ourselves.”A thrill shot through Sirius’ body at the words and made him shudder. “Please…” he whispered.“Please what, princess?”He looked up at Remus with pleading eyes. His throat hurt so bad, but he tried to speak up anyway. “I don’t want to be sold, please.”“It doesn’t matter what you want, doll,” Fabian cooed, pulling at his half-hard cock. “Imagine how much money we could make with a noblewoman.”“We spend our lives looking for treasure when the moneymaker is right here,” Remus agreed.Sirius whined pathetically, crawling as best he could towards the two men. “Please, don’t. Please…”“You’re worth more at the market, doll,” Fabian said, stroking a hand gently on Sirius’ cheek before taking his face in a hard grip. “You might be pretty, but we’re in it for the coin.”“Now, now.” Remus placed himself behind him and pulled him up smoothly. Sirius whined at the sheer strength of the man. “Don’t be sad. Maybe you’re lucky, and a prince ends up buying you.”“Or maybe you’ll end up in a brothel,” Fabian added, turning Sirius’s trembling body around to peer at his back. He smacked one of his cheeks and Remus had to catch him before he could fall down again. “With an ass like this one, you’ll have thousands of suitors.”“Don’t wanna,” Sirius slurred, fighting to keep his eyes open. His cock was fattening up again at an alarming speed, blood rushing down so fast that it was threatening to make him pass out. “Please don’t sell me. I’ll—” he swallowed dryly when he was turned to face them again. He looked between them and whispered, “I’ll do anything.”“Anything, you say?” Remus mocked, tilting his head to the side. “What is ‘anything’?”Sirius hesitated, his slowed mind racing. “I-I don’t know, I…” he stopped his stutter and breathed deeply, trying to slow down his furious heartbeat. “Anything, anything, just don’t—sell me.”Remus’ hand gripped at his half-hard cock, promptly sending his heartbeat up again. His hand wasn’t gentle, stroking up and down quickly and ignoring Sirius’ protests, though his tone was as sweet as honey. “But you’ll just be another mouth to feed on our ship, little doll. There’s nothing you know how to do out there in the sea, is there?”Before Sirius brain could come up with words—any words—Fabian made a pensive noise, standing from the foot of the bed and walking behind him. “Well, we don’t have a ship whore.”Remus hummed as Fabian slid a finger in his crack, pressing down on Sirius’ entrance with the pad of his finger. “He did come sucking us off.”“I think he’d be a good toy for the crew,” Fabian whispered in Sirius’ ear, making him tremble.A shiver ran down Sirius’ spine at the words, mingling arousal with something else—some twisted sort of mock fear born from the implication of Fabian’s words. He felt the weight of their gazes on him, the pressure of their untold question. He knew what they wanted, what they were asking of him, and all he wanted was to give it to them.He took a tentative step towards the bed, his breath hitching when neither of them stopped him. With a shaky breath, he lowered himself onto the bed, knees propped under him to expose his arse to them.“I can take any cock,” he said, his voice weak and pleading. He had no idea if he was in the fantasy, begging not to be sold, or if it was him, asking them to give him what he needed.Fabian chuckled darkly, taking hold of Sirius’ hips. “I bet you can,” he murmured. He strode to the bag on the floor, fetching a bottle of what Sirius supposed was lube, before positioning himself behind Sirius. “Spread your legs wider, doll.”Sirius complied with his heart pounding in his chest. He could feel the cool air against his exposed flesh, the tension building in his guts at being stared at so openly. Remus was on the side of the bed, watching the curve of Sirius’ back with a predatory gleam in his eye, his own cock already hard and weeping.Fabian entered him with two fingers right from the bat, and Sirius screamed as the burn licked stripes of fire up his back. He twisted his fingers and scissored them, not giving Sirius the time to adjust to the stretch. Sirius’ body shook with the force of his thrusts and Sirius imagined the sight of the muscles in his arms flexing as he pushed and pushed.His wrists ached from the tight bindings, and he barely had time to catch his breath before a third finger joined the ones fucking him and Remus loomed over him, a wicked grin spreading across his face as he brushed the tip of his cock on Sirius’ lip. Sirius opened his mouth like it was made to take Remus’ cock in it. Maybe it was. Maybe Sirius was made to be used by him whichever way he pleased. Sirius was more than okay with that.He fucked himself back on Fabian’s fingers as he sucked at the tip of Remus’ length, the combination making his head swim and his cock leak. Then Remus left his mouth, and a hand came down hard on his arse. He yelled and clenched around Fabian’s fingers, instinctively moving away from the pain. Fabian spanked him again and pulled out his fingers, the rough glide against his prostate making him gasp.“You think this is for you?” Fabian asked behind him. “Remus was right, you need encouragement to do as your told.”Remus smiled as he unsheathed the fake sword from his side and handed it to Fabian. “Told you. Sometimes he thinks he’s in control, but you just need to put him back in his place.”The cold tip of the plastic sword pressed on the top of his spine. Sirius froze, the strange mock fear coming back in full force at the thought of it, at the feeling of it creeping down his back slowly.“Look,” Remus started. Fingers found their way back inside him, but Sirius did not dare move. “See? He’s so obedient, now that he remembered his place.”“We’ve got to train him if we want to gift him to the crew,” Fabian’s voice mused behind him.The tip of the sword pressed on Sirius’ lower back, grazing lower and lower towards his hole. It was a toy—it was a fucking toy sword and Sirius was about to come to the image of Fabian wielding it. He felt pathetic as his prick spurted fresh precome on the linen under him, as both the men laughed at him from where they stood.“Oh, man,” Fabian said between chuckles. “He’s going to be the perfect ship whore.”“Look at his little cock drooling on the bed,” Remus cooed, taking Sirius cock and pulling it down. Sirius couldn’t breathe, his lungs unable to expand with the strain of keeping himself still under Fabian’s sword. “Bet he’s thinking of fucking the sword.”“No, please!” Sirius yelled, the sound ripped out of him grating on his sore throat. “Please don’t—not the sword, please!”“Oh but you’ll love it, doll,” Fabian promised, bringing the tip of it over Sirius’ hole and dipping it inside.Sirius knew, he knew Fabian wasn’t going to push it in, but his mouth opened anyway in a cry, and he sobbed on the mattress, thighs shaking with the effort of keeping his muscles more locked up than before. “No! Please, no, I-I’ll do anything, anything else—”“You said anything before, but not this?” Remus asked. Another finger made its way inside him, twisting and pushing and opening the way to a rough palm. The sensation was so familiar that it had to be Remus’ hand. “What else will you say no to later? My fist? Both our cocks?”“I’ll take it—take it all!” Sirius sobbed, sinking his nails into his palms to starve off the need to meet Remus’ thrusts. “Take—take your fist. And your cocks. Please not the sword.”“You can have our cocks, but you haven’t earned my fist tonight,” Remus replied coldly. Then, he ripped his fingers out of Sirius and pushed him up the bed. “And you’ll say thank you, Captain when you get them. You understand?”He did, but also didn’t. His brain did not understand the words, but it understood Remus’ command, and he was not about to disobey him. He answered a faint yes, sir as he felt the bed dip next to him. Hands untied his wrists and rolled him on his back, lying over the warmth of a firm body much larger than his. Fabian, his brain supplied, right before shutting down when Fabian slid half of his lubed cock into him.Sirius’ mouth opened in a silent scream and his head dropped back on the shoulder under it. Somehow, he remembered to say, “Thank you, Captain” right before a wave of shame washed over him, when Fabian grabbed the back of his knees and pulled his legs to his chest, opening them up to thrust into him freely. Sirius squirmed and writhed over him, freed hands gripping at Fabian’s shirt to keep himself from moving too much. Each thrust seemed to go deeper and deeper, eliciting small grunts every time it slid over his prostate, pushing him towards his second orgasm.When fingers joined Fabian’s cock, Sirius’ body locked up and panic flared in his chest for an agonising second, before his loud moan rang through the room. He felt crazed, at war with himself over pushing the intrusions out of his body and relishing in the pleasure they brought him.Fabian paused his thrusts, and a shadow looming over him made him open his eyes. Remus was looking at him with a slight frown on his face as he asked, “Colour, Sirius.”He had the distinct impression that wasn’t the first time he had asked. Sirius opened his mouth a couple of times trying to get the word out, before he managed to mumble, “Green, Moony.”The nickname slid on his tongue as if it had been there his whole life. Remus—Moony—smiled at him softly, before looking behind Sirius and nodding slightly.Fabian did not resume his pounding but, before Sirius could ask and beg, the blunt tip of Remus’ cock pressed against his entrance, right next to Fabian’s. He braced himself for it, but the pain was immediate, sharp and overwhelming when it slid in. He cried out, his body trembling as Fabian held his legs open for Remus to push inside.“Good boy,” Remus panted, stroking Sirius’ cock soothingly. “Such a good boy. What do you say?”“Thank you, Capt’n,” Sirius garbled, his mouth dry. “Hurts—hurts so much, please—oh!”“You said you’ll take anything over the sword,” Fabian’s voice was rough, taut. “You didn’t want the sword, so you’ll take this.”A sob shook Sirius’s body, the movement sending a fresh bout of pain through him and he clenched down, which was a mistake. Pain flared again as Remus thrusted into him, going deeper, trying to fit his whole cock into Sirius’ stuffed hole.“Won’t fit—” he wanted to say, but Fabian began to move, slowly at first, and Sirius could not talk anymore.He was staring at the ceiling, not seeing it at all as he surrendered to the sensations raking through his body. Finally Remus got tired of being gentle, and in the next thrust he just kept pushing and pushing until Sirius felt the flush of Remus’ hips on his and wailed.He kept screaming as both Remus and Fabian pounded into him, uncoordinated rhythms abusing his prostate constantly, bringing Sirius to the brink of insanity as he yelled, words and noised mixing together unintelligibly,
“Oh god, so good,”
“aah, ah, ah, ohhh fuck,”
“too much, too big, gonna break me!”
He had no idea what any of those words meant, he only knew that the more he screamed, the harder they both fucked him, so he kept it up, telling them how good it felt to be stretched so much, that he’d take both their hands inside him, that his hole was never going to close again. His mind was in a haze of pain and pleasure, unable to distinguish between the two, or just not caring to do so. He felt a hand on his cock, stroking twice and changing its mind, dipping down where two pricks were fucking him and dipping one, two fingers inside.The sensation was too much, his body arched involuntarily as his orgasm almost knocked him out. He clenched his hole, the pain of the stretch slowing down his pleasure and making it last so long that Sirius feared it would never stop.“That’s it,” Fabian growled. “Good doll, taking everything we give you.”With a desperate cry, Sirius slumped on him as pleasure kept washing over him in violent waves. He lay there, panting, as he did exactly what Fabian said, just took what they gave him, shaking with the force of his own orgasm.Fabian came first, stilling into Sirius after a hard thrust. Remus followed suit, growling and pulling at Sirius’ hair to bite down on his collarbone. Sirius’ hole was so sloppy that they both slid out of him when they softened, and he sobbed at how empty he felt all of a sudden. It was his least favourite thing about sex, he loved the feeling of being so open, but once it was over, the emptiness was almost unbearable.Sirius blinked up at the ceiling, the warm light of the bedside lamp casting shadows across his sweat-slicked skin. He watched Remus get up and remove his condom, throwing it away and finally stepping out of his clothes. The sheets beneath him clung to his back, damp with sweat and his own release, while Fabian sat up and did the same, before stroking Sirius’ legs and pulling off his boots. They cleaned him slowly, carefully, and Sirius shuddered when gentle fingers caressed his calf.“So pretty,” Fabian commented. He laughed when Sirius whined and laid himself back down next to him. “What is it?”Remus stretched beside him, his muscular frame relaxing against the mattress. He reached out, his fingers grazing Sirius’ stomach gently. “You did good, baby,” he said softly, his eyes meeting Sirius’ for a brief moment before he glanced away, shame curling in his stomach and making it clench under Remus’ hand. “What’s wrong?”“Just… empty,” Sirius mumbled, feeling his face warm up at the confession.“Poor little thing.” Fabian turned him on his side and Sirius’ head fell on Remus’ shoulder. He hissed when Fabian passed his fingers lightly against his raw entrance. “We’ll bring a plug next time. You’re gaping.”Sirius’ head perked up at the mention of a next time and he shivered, feeling the cool air brush against his exposed back. The emptiness inside him seemed to deepen as he imagined another night like the one they just had, and he shifted lightly, pressing Fabian’s fingers where he needed them.“Just hate this part. Feels… hollow.”Fabian sighed, running his free hand through Sirius’ tousled hair. “I know it's not the same, but... maybe we can help with that?” He glanced at Remus, who nodded in agreement. “Do you want my fingers?”Sirius immediately nodded and Fabian slid three fingers into him easily. He didn’t thrust, didn’t fuck them in, he just left them there, and Sirius was grateful because they helped a little bit. He was right, it wasn’t the same, but he felt infinitely better with Fabian’s thick fingers taking space. He allowed himself to be laid into Remus’ embrace, his arm wrapped around his shoulders and his hand stroking his hair soothingly next to Fabian’s. Sirius could feel Remus’ heartbeat under his ear, steady and reassuring, while the warmth of Fabian’s chest on his back and his fingers inside him anchored him in the present. The room felt still, cocooned in the quiet intimacy of shared breath.Sirius exhaled, letting his body relax into theirs, trusting that they would keep him together. He closed his eyes again, willing the rest of the hollow ache inside him to melt away, his lungs filling with Remus’ faint, familiar scent. With each breath, the shivers subsided a bit more, Fabian’s skin against his calming the strange storm that had been brewing in his chest.A heavy, dreamlike mist settled over his mind, everything outside their bed seemed to blur, fading into the background, becoming unimportant. Sirius felt weightless, caught between sleep and wakefulness, as if floating somewhere just beneath the surface of himself.He could hear, and he could feel, and that was it.It might have sent him spiralling into panic, had it not been for their touch on him—in him.Remus’ fingers kept threading through his hair, Fabian’s steady presence was warm and solid. You’re safe, their bodies seemed to say. Maybe they said it. Sirius didn’t know. And in this quiet, untethered space, he didn’t have to think, didn’t have to feel anything but the steady rise and fall of their breathing, keeping him there with them. He couldn’t speak if he tried, his mind was too far away by that point, drifting through waves of exhaustion and bliss. All he could do was trust them and their touch on him, the warmth of their bodies, and the low, distant hum of their voices murmuring something Sirius did not understand.He let himself be held, be kept. There was no need for him to hold onto anything. You’re safe, they had said.Sirius let his lips curve into a small, contented smile. In that moment, he was well. And he was safe.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Sirius stepped outside, the December chill hitting him in the face like Mrs Fellon from down the hall that one time. He tugged his leather jacket tighter around him, as if that would somehow combat the icy fingers of winter—the jacket did nothing, of course. But it was cute.Remus was on the pavement, seemingly waiting for him. They had lunch with Lily and James before their trip up to see the Potters, and Sirius thought Remus would leave, but apparently life wanted to laugh at him that fine afternoon. Of course he’s still here, Sirius thought bitterly, because what was another afternoon spent pretending not to be absolutely fucking obsessed with the man.“Ready to go?” Remus asked, pushing off the wall, a sly smile tugging at his lips like he already knew Sirius was internally combusting.Sirius blinked at him. “Go where?”Remus chuckled, low and deep. Sirius’ heart did a little flip, landing in his stomach, and he actually had to breathe to stop all the blood from gathering in his prick. “I was thinking of taking you to Marl’s,” he said.“Marl’s?” Sirius furrowed his brows, trying to remember why the name was familiar. “Your friend Marlene? Why are we going to her house?”When Remus just laughed, Sirius got it.Nope, not her house. Her shop. The one Remus and Lily—and James!—had told him about multiple times. The shop. The sex shop. Remus’ friend owned a sex shop with her wife and Remus had mentioned it like it wasn’t a big deal, like people just casually strolled into places like that without turning into a big sac of nerves. Which is what Sirius was definitely doing right now. “Er—why?”“Why not?”Sirius wanted to argue, but Remus just started walking, clearly assuming Sirius would follow. And of course, he did, because of course he would—he was that pathetic. Marlene’s shop was not at all what he imagined.Well, for one thing, it was bright, white and tones of pink adorned the facade, with real flowers running down the walls on each side of the door and windows. It was not at all a dodgy dungeon with whips and knives, it had no sleazy back corners or questionable curtains, just clean, brightly lit shelves filled with all sorts of, erm, items.Sirius’ brain short-circuited as his eyes skimmed over everything: vibrators, ropes, handcuffs, colourful dildos, some of very strange shapes and interesting sizes—they even had costumes, nuns, school uniforms, cat woman?Before he could get a proper hold of himself, Remus was leading him down an aisle, chattering merrily.“I’ve been wanting to pitch it to you for a while,” he said, stopping in the middle of the isle and pointing at the shelf. “What do you think about trying this?”Sirius could feel his face heating up as he gingerly reached out for one of the items hanging on the rack. It actually looked cute—soft black leather, with little hearts embossed on it. He turned it over in his hands, frowning.It didn’t look like anything Sirius had ever seen in his limited experience, nor in the more educational parts of the internet. It was more like a tiny version of one of those long sticks people used on boats, to row. What were they called, what were they called—“That’s a paddle,” Remus said, amused.Sirius clicked his fingers, “A paddle, yes!” He yelled, then literally wanted to die. The few people in the shop had turned to him, looks between amused and knowing as they looked at Sirius holding the damn thing in the air like he’d won a cup of some kind. He could see Remus next to him barely containing his laughter. “What, um… what’s it for?”“It’s for spanking.”Sirius yelped and put it back so fast that he accidentally punched the peg hooks and the whole row fell to the floor. It was getting out of hand.And with that, Sirius meant that it was already out of hand, so far out of the reach of his beautiful, manicured hand that he just put his arm down because what was the bloody point?!He woke up, made breakfast, listened to James talk about Lily non-fucking-stop, brushed his teeth, went on a run, took a shower, went to class, stared at the professor, ate lunch, locked himself into his studio, occasionally had dinner, occasionally went out, then went to bed.And he did all of that with REMUS LUPIN written in huge, pink, glittery letters inside his brain.It was getting annoying. Sirius was annoyed, because how could this man take all that space inside his brain? How was it that whenever he made himself some cute breakfast, he wondered if Remus would like it or would prefer toast with his tea? How was it that whenever he put the brush to the canvas, all he was able to paint was warm brown eyes, full lips and a crooked nose? Why was he only picking up browns, ochres and maroons?Sirius would admit it only on his death bed, but he was the sole culprit. He was, after all, the one who decided that it would be fine if he went on night outs when he knew Remus was going to be there, he was the one who said “sure why not!” when Lily proposed to go to a fucking fetish club, and he was the one who stupidly followed Remus home after that, engaging in very explicit, very raunchy sex.And he was the one who couldn’t stop thinking of the word Daddy in that kind of context since the DJ had them yell it during a song. Sirius couldn't even remember what song it was, he could only remember the instant erection he got in his trousers, and the way Remus had looked at him when he yelled the stupid word.That’s what it was, a stupid, stupid word, but there Sirius was, on his bed, fucking himself furiously on his biggest dildo only thinking about calling Remus that. He was riding his favourite toy to the mental image of Remus telling him Come for daddy.Naturally, that was the moment Remus decided to text him.He had asked for Sirius’ number the last time they had fucked and Sirius, sleepy and contented, gave it to him. He had passed out right after doing so, with a raw arsehole and sore throat, and he completely forgot about it until the day after, when he was standing alone in his kitchen, trying to come up with lunch and obsessing over Remus’ moles. He honest to god ran to his phone, and he’d passed two days just staring at the screen, waiting.And of course, that had to be the moment Remus texted him—though it was somewhat on brand, maybe Remus had a sixth sense or something for when Sirius was about to come.
So, I bought something…
hello Remus
im great, thanks
how r u?
is it for me
Hello to you. I’m glad you’re doing well, I am, too.
Yes, it’s for you… sort of. :-)
lord the emoji does NOT need a nose
pls never type it again
wdym sort of???
Just so you know, I am rolling my eyes.
I mean that I bought it because I wanted to try it on you.
ON me???
Yeah. I might have overstepped.
I went back to Marl’s and saw it.
Instantly thought of you.
im assuming its smth dirty and vulgar
He watched the screen intently, waiting for Remus’ response as he dropped down, pushing the dildo deeper. Each thrust was deliberate, each movement sent ripples of pleasure through his body. He struggled to keep his eyes open as he imagined Remus’ hands on him, guiding him, controlling the speed of his hand—fuck, Remus moving the dildo himself.
You would be correct.
“Stupid fucking—” Sirius moaned, dropping his phone on the bed. His thighs were burning but he kept sliding up and slamming himself down the dildo, one hand going to his aching cock and squeezing its base to starve off the orgasm. He really should be ashamed. Ridiculous, he thought, spitting his hair out of his mouth. Absolutely pathetic, Black.He picked the phone back up, only for his orgasm to pulse through him when he read the words on the screen. He shouted and clenched down hard on the toy as his hand pumped his cock, a string of “Daddy, daddy, daddy,” falling out of his mouth.
It’s a collar. I wanted to try something, but only…
That was all the preview had said, and it was enough to fucking demolish him completely. He breathed deeply and looked down at his hand, still moving on his prick to milk the last of his orgasm out.Absolutely fucking pathetic, Black. He shouldn’t have liked the idea. He shouldn’t have liked it at all. It was tacky, tasteless and fucking on the nose with the whole Dog Star thing. But his cock was at risk of falling off with the amount of wanks it had received in the two days that passed.It had taken him three whole hours to be able to go near his phone without yelping, and only did it when it started to ring. His finger had slid over the answer button before he realised the name of the caller. Remus.What followed had been fifteen minutes of Sirius mumbling half-words after Remus had apologised for the message, Remus realising that the whole thing was turning Sirius on and consequently asking if Sirius wanted to try it.So there Sirius was, waiting for Remus to open the door of his apartment, two days after the collar incident.The moment the door opened, Sirius’ common sense fell right out of his brain as he was greeted with a shirtless Remus, only wearing some damn joggers. He launched himself on him, hugging his neck and latching their mouth together. Remus, always ready, caught him and lifted him effortlessly, kicking the door closed and slamming Sirius’ back against it. It knocked a moan out of him, the combination of Remus' strength and the rough treatment made for a heady cocktail.“I love how eager you are,” Remus whispered into his mouth. “Just like a little dog.”Sirius’ hips bucked forward and he whined, and he sunk his nails on Remus’ back. Then Remus moved them away from the door, carrying Sirius straight into the bedroom and dropping him unceremoniously on the bed. Sirius let out a little oof at the impact and he tried to stop his bouncing while Remus looked at him, eyes steady and dark.“Did we talk enough?” He asked him. “Or do we need to talk a bit more?”Sirius cleared his throat and shook his head, warmth spreading on his cheeks as he recalled the embarrassing and incredibly arousing conversation they had in a café the day before. Remus only raised an eyebrow, so he spoke. “Sorry. Err, no we-we talked enough.”“Good boy,” he praised and smiled when Sirius held his breath. “Let’s start, yes?”He took Sirius’ hand and led him to the corner of the room, where a soft, cushioned mat was laying on the floor. The room was dimly lit, with orange lights casting flickering shadows on the walls, and a scent of lavender and vanilla wafted through the air out of the diffuser on the desk, soothing. Remus stood beside the mat, gently patting it with his foot.“You’re going to undress, then you’re going to kneel right here,” he stated, his voice firm but a soft smile on his face. When Sirius hesitated, he added, “You don't have to do anything you’re not comfortable with, pup.”“No, I…” His face heated up and he looked away. “Sorry.”“No sorrys,” Remus scolded gently. “It’s about you as much as it is about me, remember?”Sirius was mortified. He felt like a freak, getting turned on at the thought of playing the part of a dog, he shouldn’t like something like that, it wasn’t normal.He jumped when a hand linked with his, and he turned to see Remus watching him intently. “We don’t have to do anything,” he repeated, brushing a kiss on Sirius’ cheek. He pulled at his hand, guiding him to the bed and sitting down, placing Sirius on his lap. “We can just have our regular, run-of-the-mill sex.” He smiled when Sirius snorted. “Or just watch the telly, even.”“I feel like a freak,” he whispered, closing his eyes.“You’re not. It’s just a kink,” Remus responded, pressing Sirius’ hand on his chest.Sirius shifted, uneasy. “Yeah, but… a-a dog?”“A puppy,” Remus corrected quietly. “It’s not really about that, is it? It’s about submission, a power play like usual, just with a different name.”Sirius let out a shaky breath, feeling the steady rhythm of Remus’ heartbeat beneath his hand. The warmth of Remus’ skin was grounding, a reminder that it was safe, that Remus knew him and didn’t judge—he liked it too, even.He was breathtaking, there, between Sirius’ thighs looking up at him with an open expression and a small smile on his face. Sirius wanted him so bad. He wanted to fold Remus up and hide him in his pocket, away from anyone else’s eyes.Sirius stared in silence for too long—like a creep—and Remus chuckled.“If you’re not feeling the puppy play, we’ve still got plenty of other options,” he said, nodding at the desk.Sirius turned to it. The only thing out of place on the tidy surface was a black bag that was perched on top of it, Marlene’s handwriting printed on the side spelling Don’t tell me your secrets. Sirius’ face burned with embarrassment as he remembered the day Remus took him there. The memory made him squirm on Remus’ lap.“I thought that was the…” he trailed off, looking everywhere but the vicinity of Remus’ face.Remus smiled and patted his bum, so Sirius stood, watching as Remus went to retrieve the cursed bag and sat back down.“It is,” he nodded. He pulled out a small satchel from the bag and placed it aside. The satchel was pastel pink and it had Good girl written on it. Sirius’ inside felt like melting. “We’ll put it aside for now, yeah? That’s not the only thing I bought, remember?”Did he fucking ever. He said nothing as Remus grinned as he rummaged inside the bag, finally pulling out the paddle they’d seen. Sirius felt another rush of heat flood his face and descend on his neck.“This,” Remus said then, running a hand over the surface of the paddle, his voice dropping even lower, “could be an option too. It’s all about what makes you feel good.” His eyes darkened slightly as he stood and stepped closer, holding the paddle in front of him. “Do you want to hold it?”Sirius swallowed. He couldn’t speak for a moment, his throat tight with embarrassment but also—Jesus Christ he was hard. He nodded, holding out his hand, but then quickly shook his head, unsure. His face was burning, and the words were stuck in his mouth. Then he shot a hand out and took it from Remus’ hand.He was being ridiculous, he had held it in his hands before. But the context, Remus and him alone in his room, talking about using it, it was completely different from the one in the shop. He gripped the handle, Remus’ hands holding gently at his arm as he turned the paddle around to look at it. It was pretty, as pretty as he remembered, with little hearts bumping out of the flat part lined with the same pale pink as the satchel on the bed.Sirius was surprised by how much he wanted it on him, how much he wanted Remus to bruise his skin with little hearts and make him cry out—maybe even come. A quiet whimper escaped him when he thought of it, of Remus caressing the red skin of his arse and striking it right after.“Do you want it, baby?” Remus asked, bending to press a kiss on Sirius’ red cheekbone. Sirius bit his lip, feeling an overwhelming mixture of shame and arousal. His brain was caught between desperately wanting to hide and that burning need for Remus’ touch and praise, and the idea of the paddle, of Remus using it to pull the most desperate noises from him was sending his thoughts spiralling.But there was something else. Sirius kept eyeing the satchel on Remus’ bed. He was embarrassed, mortified, but the thought was eating him alive. What did it look like? Remus said he saw it and he thought of Sirius, and Sirius absolutely wanted to know what Remus associated him to, what he wanted to see him wear—what Remus chose to best adorn Sirius body.“I want to see the co-the collar, too,” he stuttered.Remus paused, his expression shifting to something soft. Sirius wasn’t sure what reaction he’d been expecting, but the way Remus’ eyes softened made him feel oddly vulnerable, yet understood—naked. Without a word, Remus stepped back, reaching for the satchel on the bed. Sirius’ eyes followed his every move, heart pounding as Remus pulled the collar out.It was gorgeous.Black and pink leather, decorated with lace and delicate spikes, fierce and beautiful. Sirius’ breath caught in his throat as he stared at it. This was how Remus saw him. Beautiful, dangerous, soft but sturdy. His eyes watered thinking of Remus choosing this for him. For them.“You like it?” Remus asked, his voice almost hesitant.Sirius nodded, words failing him. Like did not even come close, he was utterly in love with it, with the way it made him feel just looking at it. He wanted to feel it on him, snug around his throat, grounding him in Remus. He wanted Remus’ hands to fasten it, to pull him close and kiss him senseless while whispering what a good boy he was.“I love it,” Sirius finally whispered, his voice shaky, but honest.Remus smiled, a slow, knowing smile that made Sirius’ heart stutter. “I’m glad,” he said softly, stepping closer again, holding Sirius’ face in his hands like it was something precious before placing a kiss on his lips.Sirius’ chest tightened. This wasn’t just about toys or collars or paddles. This was Remus telling him, in his quiet, careful way, that Sirius mattered to him. That he was seen and wanted.“Put it on me,” Sirius rasped out. “Put it on me, please.”Remus’ smile lingered on his lips as he nodded, brushing his thumb over Sirius’ jaw. Sirius wasn’t used to it yet, the tender way in which Remus touched him. He craved it daily, he thought about it constantly, every time they had sex in the past months, every time Remus’ hands were so careful.He swallowed hard as Remus’ fingers moved to the collar, tracing the edges of the leather, before meeting Sirius’ gaze.“Let’s get this off first, yeah?” He murmured, gently tugging at the hem of Sirius’ shirt.Anticipation and nerves twisted his guts, so he raised his arms without thinking, letting Remus pull the shirt up and over his head in one smooth motion. The cool air brushed against his skin, and a shiver ran down his spine. It was Remus—Remus, who looked at him like Sirius was something worth undressing with care, worth touching, worth wanting.Remus’ hands ghosted over Sirius’ bare shoulders, warm and steady, and his thumbs brushed across Sirius’ collarbone, lingering there for a moment, before trailing down his chest, as if intent on memorising how Sirius’ skin felt under his touch. Sirius felt exposed, his heart was pounding and his mind starting to feel dazed.“Pretty,” Remus whispered, barely audible, but Sirius heard it.“Please, Moony,” he begged quietly, and Remus smiled at him.Sirius stood there, aching, as Remus lifted the collar gently, threading it through his fingers before bringing it to Sirius’ neck. The leather was soft against his skin, the spikes cool, and Sirius couldn’t help the way he whined when Remus leaned in, his breath warm against his ear.“You’re such a good boy,” he said, fastening the collar at the back of Sirius’ throat. “Such a good boy for me.”Sirius’ breathing was so quick that it made his head swim and he stumbled. Remus kept him up by his shoulders, humming under his breath. All Sirius could focus on was the weight of his collar, the pressure—how it made him feel owned, Remus’s. His fingers twitched at his sides, he wanted to reach up and touch it, to feel the way it fit him, the way Remus had put it on him. But he didn’t need to, because Remus’ hands were already back there, reassuring, trailing over the leather and adjusting it slightly.Instead, Sirius’ hands went to his trousers, undoing the button and letting them fall at his feet. Remus took a step back and nodded, so Sirius bent down to slide them off completely. When he stood, Remus tutted.“What about those?” He asked, looking at his pants. “They’re keeping me from looking at your pretty cock, aren’t they?”Flushing, Sirius hooked his fingers under the elastic and pulled his pants off as well. His prick was hard, a wet patch clearly visible on the discarded underwear, and Remus was looking at him, bared and his.“So good, baby boy,” he praised and smiled when Sirius’ cock twitched. “Do you want to see what else I bought?”He nodded, the collar tightening around his throat as he swallowed. He was slowly losing his mind, the praise wrapping around him like a warm blanket, leaving him lightheaded and the collar snug against his skin made it harder to breathe. The way Remus called him baby boy—it undid him completely, made him feel small, safe and cherished all at once.He realised he was still clutching the paddle in his hands when Remus held his hand out. He hesitated in placing it on his opened palm, a strange sense of possession making him want to refuse. Remus must’ve seen it, because he chuckled softly and said, “I’m not putting it away, sweetheart. Just here on the bed.”The paddle. The collar. Remus. It all came crashing together in his head.The way Remus’ voice burned Sirius’ insides, how he always knew what to say, the craving that Sirius had been swallowing down for months, trying to pretend that everything was fine when nothing fucking was.In truth, Sirius had been obsessed with Remus since the moment he saw him. James and Lily were easy, they’d fallen together with all the grace of two people who were meant to be. But Sirius and Remus were navigating a minefield, and every accidental brush of their hands or lingering glance felt like a grenade going off in Sirius’ chest.
Fuck, I’m in love with him.
It didn’t come as a shock, it wasn’t even news. He’d been carrying it around for weeks, maybe longer, tucked away somewhere between their hookups and the stolen moments of quiet right after. And standing there, paddle in one hand, collar on his neck, with Remus looking at him, Sirius felt defenceless.When he gave Remus the paddle, his hands were shaking.“I’m going to put two things in your hands,” he said, leaving the paddle on the bed and picking up the satchel. He stepped in front of Sirius and reached inside. “The first one is the leash that comes with the collar.”He pulled out a short silver chain attached to a black handle, the same pink as the collar on the inside. It was short, Sirius imagined himself walking next to Remus holding it and couldn’t understand the logistics for a moment. Until he imagined himself crawling behind him. The fantasy flooded his mind, entered in his bloodstream, and made his cock leak.“I would… I’d crawl?” Sirius breathed out, meeting Remus’ eyes for just a moment.Remus smiled wickedly, stroking his burning cheek. “But of course, silly. Puppies don’t walk.”He knew him so well. Remus knew him so well that he stopped Sirius before he could reach for his cock and take it into his hands and Sirius almost cried.“Please!”“Not yet, baby boy.” He reached into the satchel again to pull out the next thing. How much stuff did he buy?! “I bought this too, to complete the picture.”Sirius frowned when Remus put the object in his hand. It almost looked like some sort of rubber fish, long and curved. Slowly, way too slowly, Sirius realised that the bulb on one hand was a plug, and from there it all formed perfectly in his mind’s eye. Remus had bought him a tail.With his face on fire, Sirius gaped at Remus, who was still wearing that infuriating smile, though right then, his eyes were devouring.Sirius should’ve hate it. He should’ve hated it so much, he should’ve felt ashamed of himself, but with Remus looking at him like he wanted to ruin him, he just couldn’t. He wanted it, he needed it so fucking bad. After all, he couldn’t be a good puppy without a tail…“Okay.” He cleared his throat. “Fuck. Yeah, okay, okay, okay.”Remus winked at him and took the tail from his hands, fishing another thing—lube—from the satchel. “Turn around.”And Sirius just did, because what else was he supposed to do, but bend to Remus’ will? He was made for that, he was made to make Remus happy, to be good for him. So he turned around and moaned when Remus knelt behind him and pushed one finger inside. He didn’t want to be stretched, he wanted to feel the burn so much, he ached for it to hurt. But if Remus wanted to put his fingers inside, he wouldn’t object.One finger, then two, then the tapered end of the plug was against him, so wet with lube that it slipped a couple of times. Remus pushed it inside, and Sirius was so stretched he did not feel any pain.“Down, pup.” Sirius dropped to his knees without any thought, but when he looked up then, Remus raised an eyebrow and shook his head. “I’ll need to train you better. I said down, pup.”Breath catching in his throat, Sirius hesitantly stretched his hands in front of him on the ground. He gasped when the small plug grazed against his prostate at the shift in position, looking up at Remus, desperate for anything.“Such a good boy,” he praised.Sirius closed his eyes and let it wash over him. For a moment, there was only silence, the gentle hum of the diffuser calming Sirius down a bit. He opened his eyes and kept them on the floor, nerves flickering through his stomach, but Remus was there in front of him, crouched down, and nails scratching behind his ear, guiding his head up so their eyes met again.“You look so pretty,” Remus whispered, his thumb tracing Sirius' bottom lip. “You’re my pretty little pup, aren’t you?”“Yeah.”The word tumbled out of him, involuntarily honest and raw. Remus bent down to kiss him deeply, tongue licking into Sirius’ mouth and wrenching a moan out of him.But, when he punched the noise out and his guts clenched, the plug slipped out of him.Sirius broke the kiss and wholeheartedly sobbed, mortification bringing tears to his eyes in an instant. Remus looked at him, concerned, until he noticed the plug on the floor behind Sirius.“Oh, baby boy,” he cooed, picking it back up and waving it in front of Sirius. A tear escaped his lashes, and he wanted to look away, but he was hypnotised. “Your poor hole is used to bigger things. It must be starving with this little plug.” He got up, fishing into the satchel again and pulling out what looked like a tube with a small ball on one hand. “You’re lucky I know you so well.”Chuckling, he walked behind Sirius and knelt on the ground again. Sirius didn’t dare move, still utterly mortified, but he followed his movement, prick leaking precome on the mat under him at the sight. He slid the plug back inside smoothly and wiggled it with a wink, before raising his hand and squeezing the tube’s ball.Sirius felt it instantly. The tail’s plug grew inside him with every squeeze of Remus’ hand, pushing against his inner walls and pressing deeply into his prostate. The pressure built slowly, steadily, until Sirius felt as though he was about to burst. He cried out, bending his elbows but straightening up immediately when the added pressure on his prostate almost made him come right there.“Rem—Remus! Da—Remus,” he bit his lip, barely stopping that word from coming out. His brain was pulp, every time he breathed in and out the huge thing inside him pressed down harder on his insides and he couldn’t think straight anymore, thoughts blending together in one big mess of words. “Stop, m’gonna—can’t take anymore.”It took all of him to talk, to think of what to say and what not to say, while Remus laughed quietly behind him, slowing down the squeezing.“But I want you to,” he stated, hand firmly gripping one of his cheeks to pull it to the side. “Your hole looks so nice, baby boy. Last two left, take it.”Sirius’ breath hitched when the plug stopped expanding. It felt huge and it was strange, because it was so light, it felt like Sirius didn’t have anything at all to cover his insides from Remus’ eyes. He was crying openly now, the pressure beautifully overwhelming as he felt Remus’ hand slid up to his neck, lightly tracing the back of his collar. The touch sent shivers down his spine, and the movement pressed the plug deeper inside him.“Does that feel nice, pup?” Remus asked, his voice soft and soothing.“Yes,” Sirius whispered, his voice barely audible.“I can see that,” Remus said. Sirius felt a finger touching the slit of his cock and his hips bucked forward. A scream ripped itself from his throat when his prostate was stabbed once again. Remus laughed behind him, placing a kiss on Sirius’ arsecheek. “Your tail is wiggling like crazy.”Again, Sirius sobbed, embarrassed and aroused. He didn’t know what to do, if keeping his eyes closed or open was the best thing. With his eyes open, he could see Remus studying his back, watching as his tail—his tail!—wiggled excitedly, but with his eyes closed, he could imagine Remus doing anything to him.Sirius could feel himself teetering on the edge, the combination of physical sensations and emotional instability driving him closer and closer to the edge. He needed more, needed to reach the release that was just out of reach.“Da—Rem…” Sirius moaned when Remus pushed on his tail, his hips bucking wildly and his cock weeping. "I can’t—please!”“You can say it, baby boy,” Remus replied. Sirius’ mind could not understand the words. “I know you want to say it. I saw you that night. You can say it, you can call me that.”Strobing lights flashed in his mind, and Sirius understood, the memory of Remus’ eyes on him in the club, the way he fucked him when they got to his house, the way he pulled his hair so hard, like he was trying to pull something else out of him. Sirius shook his head, trying to dislodge the images, but they only intensified the ache in his gut.And then Remus started to fuck him with the plug, pushing it into him hard, and Sirius’ resistance melted away instantly.“Ah! Daddy!” He was screaming, wailing with his elbows on the mat. “Daddy! Daddy, please!”“Good boy.” Remus’ voice was rough, like he was the one yelling and not Sirius.He dropped his head between his shoulders and opened his eyes to see a line of precome connecting the mat to the tip of his cock. He was panting, a string of daddy and please coming out of his mouth, melting together in a mess of noises and sounds.Then Remus stopped, and Sirius almost fell to the ground. His body jerked backwards, searching for anything to get him over the edge, but Remus was no longer there, and the plug was too big to move on its own.“Good pups aren’t greedy,” he scolded with a shake of his head. “I’m going to have to discipline you now, isn’t it right?”Sirius breathed deeply, trying to steady his heartbeat, and watched as Remus picked up the paddle from the bed. Sirius moaned at the sight, but Remus outright laughed, crouching down in front of Sirius.“You’re not a pup. You’re just a bitch in heat, aren’t you?” He asked. “It’s not even your fault.”With that, Remus placed the paddle in Sirius’ mouth, forcing him to bite down on the cool leather. He whimpered around the makeshift gag, pleading Remus with his eyes as he fastened the leash on his collar.Without another word, Remus stood and tugged on the leash, pulling Sirius out of the bedroom and into the hallway.Sirius stumbled after him, his movements clumsy and awkward. The plug inside him shifted with each step, shocks of pleasure and pain rolling through his body as he crawled behind Remus. He could feel his cock dangle and smack against his legs, the wetness of his arousal was dripping down his thighs and the sheer humiliation made him want to curl up in a ball and cry, as much as begging Remus to let him come.They made their way to the kitchen, where Remus slid the leash down on his wrist, as if Sirius was not to be trusted to stay there and not roam around.“Sit,” he ordered.Sirius had no choice but to lower his arse to the ground, pushing the plug deep into him. It took all of his willpower to stop from fucking himself on his tail as Remus filled a glass of water and drank it down in one go, his throat working with each gulp. Then, he refilled the glass and handed it to Sirius, who took it tentatively.“Drink,” Remus ordered again after taking the paddle from Sirius’ mouth, and Sirius obeyed, tipping the glass back and swallowing the cold liquid.Once he was finished, Remus took the empty glass from him and set it aside. He placed the paddle back in Sirius’ mouth and, with a firm grip on the leash, Remus turned and led Sirius back to the bedroom.Remus pulled and tugged on the leash until Sirius got the message and crawled on top of the bed, where Remus looped the chain on the headboard and pulled, leaving Sirius tethered and immobile. He stepped back, grip firm on the leash as his eyes raked over Sirius’ trembling body, satisfied.“Knew you could be a good boy,” Remus murmured, his voice dripping with approval. “But you still need to be reminded of your place.”Sirius’ heart pounded in his chest as Remus took the paddle from his mouth. He let Remus manoeuvre him on the bed, laying down on his stomach, with two pillows under his hips to keep them up. He breathed deeply when the plug nestled over his abused prostate, his cock was throbbing and pulsing, a wet patch already forming where the tip grazed the soft fabric of the duvet.“I don’t trust you not to rut against the pillow like the bitch you are,” he told Sirius while laying down his cock to rest between his open thighs, stroking a finger over the wet slit, and it had made Sirius cry with the need to come.He jumped when Remus’ hand brushed over his arsecheek.“Colour, pup?”“G-green, daddy,” he said shyly, his face warm.“Good boy,” Remus replied, leaving a kiss on the small of his back. “We’re starting now, okay?”“Yes,” he said. Remus slapped his hand on the mean of his thigh in admonishment. “Yes, d-daddy.”“You’re going to keep still for this, pup,” he instructed. He stroke his cheek with the paddle, the little hearts scratching at his skin made Sirius hiss. “You wouldn't want me to hit your little tail, would you?”Sirius shook his head and closed his eyes, preparing himself for the first hit, but Remus was taking his time, silent and still somewhere behind him.Then, without warning, the paddle struck his skin hard, the impact resonating through his entire body.“Ah!” Sirius cried out, his voice breaking on the edge of a sob. The pain was sharp, biting at the skin of his cheek, a rush of heat rising right after. His breath hitched, and the sudden jolt of pain blurred into something different, something that sent a shiver straight to his cock, throbbing and leaking on the bed.Remus didn’t give him any time to rest and brought the paddle down again and again, rhythmic strikes that sent waves after waves of contrasting sensations through Sirius. He cried out in pain and arousal with each hit, he struggled to keep still, to not fuck his hips down on the pillow for some kind of friction on his leaking cock. Each successive blow blurred into the last, pulsing through him like his own heartbeat, his skin growing red-hot and sensitive. Every strike had Sirius clench down on the plug, and it wasn’t long before he was asking Remus to fuck him, mindlessly begging, ‘please just do something! Please!’.“Is this not enough for you?” Remus asked harshly, pausing his hits and pulling on the leash, choking Sirius’ moan. When he released it, he passed his hand on the abused skin of Sirius’ arse, fingers stopping to press down on all the places that were particularly painful. “I’m making you look even prettier, and you’re ungrateful?”Sirius couldn’t breathe very well, all of his blood divided between his head and his arse, his mind was a haze of agony and euphoria. He wanted to tell Remus that it wasn’t like that, he wanted to say thank you, that he was grateful, but he didn’t know how to.“Daddy—daddydaddydaddy,” he babbled, shaking his head and letting his tears run free. He didn’t want Remus to think that, he didn't want daddy to be mad.“Look at you,” Remus said, and he pushed Sirius’ tail to fuck into him. Sirius gasped but didn’t move. “I got all this for you and you want more? Did I spoil you too much?” He brought the paddle down on Sirius’ thigh, on the tender meat right under his arse, and Sirius wailed in pain, but didn’t move. “I know you can be a good bitch.” He grabbed the base of Sirius’ tail to move it left and right, “Get up and show me how much you like what daddy is doing, pup.”Sirius’ body trembled but he obeyed, moving to stand on his hands and knees. His cock brushed against the pillows and his body moved instinctively, his hips thrusting forward to satiate the need deep in his bones. Remus’ hand hit his cheek, and he slid the pillows from under him. The plug inside him felt larger, more noticeable as he adjusted his weight; he could feel the tail swaying behind him, and Remus’ eyes on him burned like laser.Remus loomed over him, tall and menacing, still holding the paddle in his hand. A coat of sweat covered his chest, little drops falling down towards his stomach and the sight of it made Sirius’ heart ache with the need to lick them up.He wanted it, needed anything Remus wanted to give, craved the sting of the paddle and the careful touch of his hands, and the sweet sweet feeling of belonging to him.“Wag your tail for me,” Remus ordered.Sirius hesitated for a moment, then began to move his hips, making the tail swing from side to side. The movement pulled at the plug inside him, sending sparks of pleasure all through him. Each sway made him whine and brought him closer to that lovely edge, but he forced himself to keep going, because it was all for Remus, and Sirius wanted to show him that he could obey, that he could be his good pup again, that he was a mindless bitch only when Remus wanted him to be.“I knew you could be good,” Remus praised, stopping his movement. “Do you want more?”Sirius nodded frantically, unable to form words through the haze in his mind. He could feel his cock twitching at the thought, the need to come building higher and higher as Remus brought the paddle back on his thigh. Daddy hadn’t told him he could come yet, but Sirius wouldn’t risk being bad again by asking.Then, Remus shifted his aim, and the next blow landed directly on Sirius’ sack.The pain was immense, sudden and blinding, and it drove all the air right out of his lungs with a long, painful howl. His elbows gave out under him and he collapsed forward, but Remus’ grip on his little tail brought him back into position.“Bad dog,” he snarled. “Don’t you dare move. Stay.”“So-sorry, daddy, m’sorry…” Sirius whimpered, his body shaking with the effort to keep still.The pain in his bollocks was almost unbearable. Underneath it, there was something else, some twisted ecstasy that made his cock twitch and drool, one that he wanted to taste fully, that made him want for Remus to taste it too.Remus hooked his fingers in the back of Sirius’ collar, then the next blow came, fast and unforgiving, and the next one, and the next one. On the fifth strike, Remus hit the underside of Sirius’ cock as well. He couldn’t take anymore, but when the next one hit, the searing pain sent a rush of adrenaline through his system, almost like electroshock that started from his cock and sack and reached his brain, frying the few coherent thoughts he had, and he wished for more. His senses were overwhelmed, and all he could hear was the wet smacks of the paddle against his skin, feel the heat spreading across his body. The edges of consciousness were blurring, the pain and pleasure merging into a single, forceful wave that threatened to pull him under.“I’m right here,” Remus whispered, his voice cutting through the thick fog in Sirius’ mind. “Focus on me, baby boy. Let it all go.”Sirius’ vision narrowed and his world shrunk down to the sensations coursing through his body and the sound of Remus’ voice in his ear guiding him. He could feel himself slipping, falling into a blank spot inside his mind where there was nothing but the pain and the ecstasy, the will to obey Remus and the visceral need to be his, to be owned by him.“That’s it, let go for me, pup. Deeper.”Sirius moaned, his body convulsing as he relaxed his muscles and Remus unleashed his collar and laid him carefully on the mattress. The agony was still there, but it had transformed into something else, something warm and comforting, like a little security blanket wrapping around him. He distantly registered his voice asking for more, begging Remus to mark him all over with his love paddle, but Remus said no, no more paddle, and Sirius cried, pushing his face on the mattress.“Baby,” Remus called him, and Sirius wanted to say no, but he turned to look anyway. “I can’t use the paddle anymore. It’ll do damage on your lovely bum,” he explained, patting lovingly at his cheek. Sirius gasped: that was good too, that was so good. “Daddy will fuck you, if you want.”His cock throbbed at the idea, and his tail seemed to pulse inside him, torturous ecstasy coming closer with each beat of his heart. His orgasm building from just those words spoken from Remus’ mouth, the tension coiling tighter and tighter, “Please, daddy.”“Look at me,” Remus commanded.Sirius lifted his heavy head, struggling to focus on what he was looking at. He could see Remus standing over him, the paddle still hanging from his wrist, studying him with an expression of pure satisfaction. He had taken his trousers off at some point, and the sight of his hard, leaking prick felt like a treat Sirius couldn’t have.Remus’ eyes roaming across Sirius’ prone body felt like lava, slow and scorching. He knelt on the bed at last, straddling Sirius' thighs and rummaging through his clothes. He wiggled his phone at Sirius when he found it, and Sirius just looked at him, panting, his brain too muddy to understand. He had no place understanding things, though. He had Remus for that.Sirius watched him through half-lidded eyes, his vision slightly blurred but he focused all of himself on Remus as he moved closer, crouching down to capture the sight of Sirius’ ass with a click.“Look at you,” Remus said reverently, snapping another picture. “So beautiful, pup. Daddy’s good, perfect, beautiful boy, aren’t you, sweetheart?”Sirius could do nothing but nod, keeping still and pretty like his daddy liked it. He gasped in pain when Remus laid down on him, hips resting on his burning arse and pressing on his tail. When he dropped his forehead on the mattress, Remus’ fingers pulled his hair back and put the phone in front of his eyes. It took a few moments for the photo to come into focus, but when it did, the sight made him moan so loudly that the sound bounced on the walls.His arse was bloodshot red surrounded by the pale skin that remained untouched. It was so beautiful, it didn’t even look like him—it couldn’t be. His skin was a canvas of red, bruises blooming in dark patches across his arse and thighs, the faint outline of the paddle still visible in some places. Some areas were raised, darker, tender. The hearts were there, translated on his skin on tones of dark red and they looked so tender and soft embossed in his skin.It was dizzying, intoxicating to see how much Remus had given him, and he was so grateful, so in love with him, so in love with the lovely art he made on his body. Thank you daddy, I love it, I love you, he wanted to say, but he didn’t know how, he couldn’t say the right words. Love was too small, too simple to express all that he had inside, the raging hurricane that made him want to be swallowed whole, to keep Remus’ mark on his skin forever. Sirius needed Remus to carve into his bones and replace them with something of his, something that will bind them eternally together.
“P-please…”
Sirius’ thoughts bled into one another, dizzying flashes of heat and want. Remus pulled at his tail, and he almost cried. He twisted it, rolled it, pulling it out slowly. It felt huge, it stung when the larger part slid out, but if daddy wanted to take his tail, Sirius would let him.Fingers pushed into him, wet and searching, making Sirius sob with each brush against his prostate.“You’re wide open, pup. Hopefully you’ll feel it, huh,” Remus whispered in awe, and Sirius was so proud of himself, he forgot to be ashamed.Remus’ cock slid in easily. Sirius’ little hole was so stretched that there was not even a slight sting, but Remus was moaning and panting over him, so Sirius was okay with that.“So open, baby,” Remus groaned, sinking into Sirius over and over. “You’re so warm for me. Was my little pup waiting for his daddy's cock?”My Daddy’s cock, Sirius thought, nodding. His body arched instinctively as Remus sank deeper, hips slapping against Sirius’ aching and bruised skin, each thrust sending a shockwave through him, turning him into something malleable, something fragile and utterly, completely Remus’. His whole body trembled, muscles burning with a different craving—he needed more, he needed to be torn apart by Remus and placed back together, he needed Remus’ hands to shape him as he wished.
Take it all daddy, take all of me, please, it’s yours, it’s all yours.
His mouth worked uselessly, the words tangled up with the moans and gasps and whimpers that tore out of him, they wouldn’t come out right. Sirius’ vision blurred, white-hot sparks behind his eyelids lighting up each time Remus’ skin slapped against his, each time his cock pressed into his prostate.His hands twisted into the sheets like Remus’ voice twisted his brain, “Good boy.” His voice was low and steady, it came like an anchor into his frenzied mind, his breath warm against Sirius’ ear. Sirius’ whole body lit up at the praise, tears pricking the corners of his eyes as he fought to hold onto the sound of it when Remus’ hand closed on the back of his collar, pulling him up on his hands and knees, choking him harshly. Remus fucked him brutally, the grip on his collar pulling Sirius’ whole body back to meet with his thrusts, arching Sirius’ back and punching directly on his spot.Sirius jerked violently, and he couldn’t stop his orgasm from tearing through him like a tidal wave. He came hard, his cock spasming as ropes of come shot across the sheets, trying to calm down and breathe but choking whit each inhale.“So fucking good,” Remus growled.Sirius could barely hear him, his mind blank with the lack of air and consumed by the aftershocks of his orgasm. Remus’ cock twitched inside him and Sirius felt the flaming heat of his come filling him up. It was almost too much to take for him and if Remus hadn’t released the grip on his collar, Sirius would’ve passed out right there. But of course, his daddy knew exactly what to do, he knew exactly how to treat Sirius’ body, better than Sirius himself.Sirius’ vision was a blur of shapes and colours as he was gently laid down, his mind filled with the soft cotton of euphoria and relief. Everything felt distant, underwater—everything but Remus. Remus was right there, talking in his ear, covering his shoulders with small, sweet kisses that made Sirius sigh with contentment.“Good baby,” Remus whispered, his tone softer.Sirius’ body was heavy, his mind sluggish, yet his heart raced with love and fulfilment. He could still feel the heat of Remus’ come inside him, warm and soothing, staking claim on him just as much as the red of his bum. He didn't want to lose any of it, he needed to keep it all inside. He needed his tail back.“Daddy…” he whined. His tongue was too big in his mouth, slurring the sounds. “My tail, daddy.”It took a few tries for Sirius to get the right words out, but Remus ultimately picked the tail back up from next to him. There were hissing sounds, Sirius couldn’t see anything, then the smaller yet familiar shape of the plug brought a satisfied smile to Sirius’ lips. His eyes fluttered closed when the plug slid in and the emptiness melted away, and he sighed, happy to be whole again.“Better baby?” Remus asked. Sirius could only hum, a croaking sound that came from the bottom of his lungs.Remus’ hands never left Sirius’ skin, even as he leaned on the side table and Sirius heard him search through the bag. A few moments later, something wet was cleaning him everywhere, his thighs, his bum, his back, then his stomach and his soft prick when Remus turned him to the side. “You took that so well, little pup,” Remus murmured, rolling him back on his stomach and tracing the welts of the paddle with his fingers. “Let me take care of you, now.”A smell like water drifted through the air, clean and faint, and cold fingers touched his marks. It was a salve, aloe, the one they bought together. His muscles twitched as Remus massaged over the kisses that the paddle left on him, his skin screamed beneath Remus’ hands, nerves raw and twitching as the cold bit into the tender flesh, but the pain didn’t matter—it was far away, lost in the corners of his mind, drowned by the heady, intoxicating joy of being held.He was floating, weightless, his brain buzzing and thick with white noise. The room was dim around the edges, like he was drifting on the cusp of sleep and wide awake at the same time. Each stroke of Remus’ hands was deliberate and loving—Sirius’ mind was swimming in it, soaking it all up, in the way Remus was smoothing out the chaos vibrating in his bones.“Daddy…” The word slipped out like a breath, ragged and uncontrolled, but Sirius had to speak—had to. He wanted to let Remus know what this was for him, what it meant to his heart, he needed Remus to understand.The words tangled in his throat and choked him as his chest heaved, desperate to force them out, but nothing came, and all he managed was a weak, pitiful gasp as Remus pressed a kiss on a particularly tender spot of skin—a heart, Sirius realised. A fucking heart, perfectly bruised by Remus into his body, his mark on Sirius. His own heart twisted and swell painfully, aching and full to burst with love so violent that it clawed at his inside, slashing though bone and muscle and leaving him raw and torn apart.Sirius felt it from the core of his soul, at its very centre, the way his self was screaming inside him, the way he ached to speak the words, but the only sound he made was a broken sob.The dam cracked, then shattered, and tears rushed out uncontrollably, his chest heaving with the effort of keeping the words to itself.“Shh, it’s okay, pup. You’re alright,” Remus whispered, his voice low and soft, the way it always was.Lips found his shoulder again, and Sirius sobbed harder, the sound wrenched from deep inside him like a wound, his body curling on itself as Remus’ words only made the ache worse. The words stayed locked inside, and all Sirius could do was cry, the sobs shaking his frame, helpless and pathetic as Remus held him tighter.He was greedy for wanting more, he was so greedy and selfish for needing what Remus didn’t even know he was offering. To be touched should have been enough, to be held should’ve been enough.But he wanted—he craved. Oh, he craved.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Sirius was barely conscious when he felt Remus slip out of bed.He had no idea how long it had been since he’d fallen asleep—hell, he hadn’t even realised he’d passed out. He probably just crashed, exhausted from crying like a fucking baby. It couldn't have been too long, considering the dark sky outside of the window and the silvery shimmer of moonlight that illuminated Remus’ desk.Remus had held him through it all, stroking his hair and murmuring soothing words that Sirius couldn’t hear, and all Sirius could do was fucking weep on his chest, shaking so much that his core muscles felt strained. At least his arse didn’t pulse anymore. Small victories. He swallowed thickly, his throat sore.“You don’t need to get up,” Remus whispered from the side of his bed when Sirius stirred. “Stay. I just have to go into work for a couple hours.”Sirius really, really did not want to stay. He had no intention of staying in that bed, where every single thing was soaked with Remus’ smell, where he could still see the wetness of his tears on the pillow. Alone, even, left to choke on his thoughts and memories of how pathetically he had clung to Remus, how desperate he’d sounded asking him to take him, to mark him, calling him—No, he had to absolutely fucking leave, or he wouldn’t survive. Sirius was sure.He forced himself to sit up. A painful hiss left his mouth when the sore skin of his arse made contact with the cool sheets and all of his muscles protested.“Yeah, that’s not happening,” he mumbled, scrubbing a hand through his hair. “I’d just lie here like a dramatic damsel contemplating the ways I embarrassed myself tonight.”He couldn't look at Remus, not after he slashed him wide opened and stared at his insides, not if he still felt that raw from it all. Even just remembering the way Remus’ hands had trailed down his skin was torture enough and though Sirius tended to self flagellate daily, he felt like he’d done enough for at least three weeks.Remus huffed a laugh behind him, but it sounded odd, strained like he was forcing it out because that’s what he was supposed to do, because Sirius was being dramatic and Remus had to laugh. Horrifyingly, Sirius thought that maybe Remus knew, maybe he’d figure him out. Sirius wished he could just keel over and die.“If you… er,” Remus stuttered. He stuttered. Sirius had known Remus for six months, never once had he heard him stumble over his words. Holy shit, he figured it out. “Listen, I wanted to talk—”“Yup, that’s not happening either,” Sirius cut him off, feeling crazed. He stood quickly from the bed, ignoring the sting on his rear as much as he could, looking for his clothes in the low light.“Do you want—” Remus started, but Sirius cut him off again.“Nope, I’m fine. Totally fine. Peachy,” he said, pulling his trousers over his hips.Only once he zipped them up did he notice he had pants on, and another beat later he remembered that Remus actually put them on him, right after he took the plug out of his arse and gave rise to a brand new bawling session. His fingers shook, betraying him, when Sirius raised his hands to the collar to unfasten it. He couldn’t see the buckle, his fingers were shaking and cold and useless. He couldn’t bring himself to look up, not when he could feel Remus’ eyes on him and knew that only one glance at his face was needed for Remus to understand how deep he ran inside his veins.“You don’t have to—”“I said I’m fine,” Sirius snapped, finally looking at Remus’ face.He dropped his hands to his sides and gave up on the collar. He didn’t mean to lash out at him, but fucking hell, he couldn’t stomach the thought of Remus pitying him. He already felt pathetic without the need for that, too, thank you very much.The air turned into cement inside his lungs, and the silence choked and froze him. He watched as Remus closed the distance between them slowly, without saying a word. Sirius’ outburst rang in the room and the headache he was cultivating speared his brain like needles.Remus raised his hands to Sirius’ collar, but then hesitated, and Sirius wished the floor swallowed him whole. He’d already had a minor meltdown when Remus tried to take it off of him after they fucked, whimpering and begging, and clutching at the leather like his life depended on it remaining around his neck.Every breath Sirius took felt like it was weighting him down as he stood, frozen, with Remus’ hands overing near the collar. Sirius' skin buzzed with the proximity, all of his instincts screamed at him to run, to stop being so fucking exposed, and he wanted to gouge out Remus’ eyes so he’d at least stopped looking at him like he was bleeding.He hated being so susceptible to Remus, how just his presence threatened to tear him apart, hated how Remus could unravel him without even trying to. How Sirius’ behaviour didn’t stop him from being gentle and patient. Sirius’ hands twitched, and a vaguely familiar surge of self-loathing rose like bile in his throat as he looked away from Remus’ eyes once more.“Just… just take it off.” His voice cracked, and an almost forgotten grip to his shoulder made his stomach clench, Speak up, child!, barked into his ear. “Please.”Remus didn’t say a word, he just stepped closer and nodded. Sirius held his breath as Remus’ fingers unbuckled the leather strap with the utmost care, and he forced himself not to flinch when cool air bit at the uncovered skin of his neck. Remus laid the collar on its bag, and Sirius felt like somebody recklessly pulled at one of his loose threads.“I’ll…” he cleared his throat. “I’ll come with you. To work.”“You don’t have to.”“I know, I—” Sirius replied, quickly. “If you don’t want me there, just tell me.”Remus frowned. Sirius saw that he looked desperate, like he was trying to read him and for the first time he couldn’t. “Of course, I do.”“Right,” Sirius nodded. He walked to the door, not waiting for Remus to follow him as he made his way to the coatrack by the door. His hands were still shaking, but he ignored them, focusing on the task at hand—one arm through the sleeve, the other, close the zip.“Can we talk after?”No. “Sure,” he sent Remus a strained smile, though he guessed it looked more like an open wound. “Let’s go now, I need a drink.” The cold outside was a balm to his state, though he still felt like cracked glass, only one wrong move away from shattering on the floor. And he was going to, he could sense the crash coming in his guts. But leaving the house was a good call, and he could play his usual self better if Remus’ eyes weren’t boring into him at all times.Remus was behind the counter for whatever administrative crap bar/pub/club owners had to deal with, he’d even tried explaining it to Sirius to keep him company as he kept drinking and drinking but he honest to god could not give less of a fuck—he was pissed, and not the way he planned to be. Remus thought it was smart to tell Benjy Sirius was going to be drinking dry. Sirius had been outraged at first—seriously, what kind of sadist drinks virgin martinis?!—but then he decided he wanted to be petty, so he kept ordering anyway, eyes locked with Benjy, informing him that Remus would be footing the bill for all those sad excuses of a cocktail. Remus did not object. He was probably tired of dealing with Sirius’ shit.The stupidest thing was, Sirius didn’t want to be under Remus’ scrutiny, at all, but he also couldn’t bear to be further than a breath away from him. He wanted to be as far as possible from him to avoid any confrontation about Sirius’ feelings for him, but the thought of leaving was as appealing as stubbing himself in the eye with the umbrella on his stupid useless drink.That was when he noticed the vaguely familiar man walking towards him. The memory was frail, thin like silk sheets and long blonde hair moving on top of him.“Hello again, darling,” the man said in a smooth voice.“Hello, err,” Sirius stuttered. He squinted, trying to remember the man’s name. “Luca—Luscius! Right?”His mouth twitched into a smirk. “Lucius, yes.” He sat down next to Sirius. “Strange you don’t remember, you seemed to enjoy screaming it.”Ah, yes, there it was. The vision of Lucius stopping to say ‘Jesus Christ you’re too loud’ and ‘You could be a little quieter, you’re not in a porno’ midsex made Sirius’ face burn up in embarrassment. Heat creep up his neck and he looked down at the sad drink in his hand.“No one’s ever complained before,” he said, twirling the tiny umbrella between his fingers. He looked up to see Remus watching the exchange with his brows furrowed. Sirius threw him a wink, a little genuine smile creeping on his lips when Remus chuckled.Sirius turned back to Lucius when he hummed thoughtfully. “Is that so?” he said, arching a perfectly manicured brow and looking between him and Remus. “Maybe they were just being polite.”Sirius clenched his jaw, and he told himself it didn’t matter as he blinked the burn out of his eyes. But it was the wrong night for that, it was the wrong time for his stupid insecurities to be brought up. He was raw and open and everything Lucius might say was already there, gnawing at the back of his mind, tugging at old scars that had only just started to scab over. Sirius was not about to get talked down by a man he hooked up once—he wasn't even that good of a lay.He turned to tell him something, anything to make him leave, but Lucius didn’t let him talk.“You know,” he smiled, sharp and mean, like he’d been waiting for that. He leaned slightly closer, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial tone. “It took me some time, but I’ve finally figured out why you looked so familiar.”Sirius’ brow furrowed, the unease creeping in before Lucius even said the words. He felt the drop in his gut before it happened, that moment before a fall when you realised too late what was going to happen.Lucius’ smirk widened, and he tilted his head, almost gleeful as he spoke. “You remind me of my fiancée. Narcissa. I’m sure you know her.”The name hit him like a blow to the stomach. Sirius’ breath caught and his hands clenched on nothing, long, curly hair and a mean laugh echoing in his brain. She was everything Sirius had never been, his parents used to tell him everyday—elegant, poised, controlled. His mother’s voice rang through him like lightning,
You could learn from her, Sirius.
Lucius’ voice softened cruelly and dripped with scorn. “Of course, now I see it, and it’s uncanny.” He paused and let his eyes drift over him. It made his skin crawl. “I didn’t see it earlier because she, well, knows how to take care of herself. More polished. Less... shabby.”Sit up, Sirius.“Man, where do you get off?” Remus’ voice sounded so angry. Sirius hoped he wasn’t going to shout.Lucius chuckled and waved his hand in dismissal. “It was an observation. I’m just saying, a little refinement can go a long way, right Sirius? You look just like her,” he paused again, clicking his tongue. “Though her figure is more… delicate. But you can work on that too, surely.”Remus’ growl, “How fucking dare you?!”Then,
Are you going to eat that too?
You need to watch your figure.
I think you’ve had enough.
Do we need to call the tailor again?
No one wants to marry a pig.
Sirius barely heard what came after. The floor tilted under him, words slicing into his muscles and tearing at stitches of old wounds left by his parents, scolding him, shaming him. Lucius was still talking, and though Sirius wanted to respond, he was paralysed by a fear he thought he had long buried. How could they find him still? Were they watching him again? Was this a test? Is he still in that nightmare? Why did it all feel so real? The memories, the shame, feeling so small, insignificant, judged, not enough.He watched it all, but didn’t hear a thing. He watched Remus round the counter and get into Lucius’ face, spit some words and push him. He watched Lucius smile at him and leave. He watched Remus turn to him and speak, but Sirius was too deep in his own head to hear what he was saying.He was cracked glass, and he was shattered on the floor; he was made of broken pieces for everyone to step on. He was stuck again in that old pit of misery, before James, when he was alone and he hated himself because they hated him, before he realised that he could love himself even if they didn’t.“Sirius?” Remus’ voice was concerned. James’ voice had sounded like that once. Sirius couldn’t stay there any longer.“I, uh…” He stood, gaze fixed on the floor, unseeing. “I should go.”“I’ll take you,” Remus said.No, no, Sirius needed to lock himself away, he needed to grow some new skin now that Lucius had clawed his old one off. “It’s fine, really—”“I’ll drive you home, come on,” Remus interrupted. Sirius noticed he had his coat on.Sirius trailed to the door after Remus, forever unable to say no to him. They walked to the car in silence, a blur of cold air and quiet sounds leading them away from the Moonshine. Every step felt like a challenge, Lucius’ words eating at him like a parasite.“Siri?” Remus only spoke once they were sat down, voice soft and careful—pitying.He shook his head, “Please…”Sirius felt drained, so exhausted from reliving terrible memories that he just closed his eyes and rested his head on the seat. Remus hesitated, but ultimately turned the car on and drove.Ten minutes passed in silence, Sirius didn’t dare speak lest Remus asked him questions he didn’t want to answer. He tried to push Lucius words out of his mind, to lock his mother’s voice in the box of horrors that was his childhood memories. He did not want to deal with all of that, he didn't need the tightness in his stomach, the old question crawling in his brain, what did he eat last? How much of it?Her figure is more… delicate. How much sugar was in the drinks?
You can work on that too, surely.
How long would he have to run to burn it all?“We’re here.”Remus’ voice made him jolt. The car had stilled, Remus had parked it a bit down from the door. How many steps?Sirius blinked, looking at his front door. For some reason, he thought Remus would’ve taken them to his house. Ridiculous.“Thanks,” he said. “Goodnight then.”He climbed out of the car hastily, and walked all the way to his door before realising Remus was right behind him. Sirius looked at him, words stuck in his throat for a moment too long.“I’m not leaving you alone,” Remus explained.“James is—”“At Lily’s,” Remus interrupted. “And you’re not okay, so I’m not leaving you alone.”Sirius forced out a breathy laugh. “Oh, don’t worry. I’m fine, really. Go home.”Remus didn’t budge. “I’m not leaving you alone.”“I don’t need…” His voice cracked, so he cleared it. “I don't need you to stay.”Sirius’ chest tightened when Remus only looked at him. They stayed in silence for a few moments, puffs of breath coming out of their mouth and fusing together into one.“I will stay whether you let me in or not.”“Remus…”“You can pretend you don’t need anyone, but we both know that’s a lie.”Sirius scoffed and turned, but when he got inside the building, he left the door opened for Remus to follow. Sirius took the stairs.When his door closed, Sirius didn’t turn to look at Remus in his hallway. Him being there, spending the night, tasted bitter but felt warm, and it made his skin itch because it felt good when it shouldn’t. He doesn't want you like that. The thought made his breath hitch in his throat, the whole night threatening to choke him.Remus’ voice was soft. “Sirius, talk to me.”“Oh, my god!” Sirius snapped, turning to face him and his stupid softness. The moment he did, his anger doubled and crumbled, because the look on Remus’ face wasn’t pity, it was concern. His back hit the wall, his hands pulled at his hair. “You think you can help?” He asked, then a humourless laugh slipped out of him. “You think watching me break—you think it's going to fix anything?”Remus said nothing. He stepped closer and placed his coat on the sofa.“You don’t have to pretend you give a fuck,” Sirius said, ripping his jacket off and throwing it on the floor. He was boiling. “You don’t know, you don’t understand. You—it’s—”“Tell me then,” Remus interjected. “Help me understand.”Sirius’ eyes stung when he laughed. “You don’t—you really want to know how fucked up it is in here?” He asked, pointing at his head.Remus, again, said nothing and stepped closer. Sirius felt all the fight leave him, and he sagged back on the wall. It took him a while to find the words, but Remus didn’t press, didn’t ask anything more.“My mother used to call me chubby all the time,” Sirius whispered in the end. He sighed, shaking his head. “She’d cut my portions, wouldn’t let me eat much, measure my waist and my hips and the muscle mass every day. She told me that she did it for me, because I shouldn’t look shabby, I needed to watch my figure. Because ‘nobody wanted to marry a pig’.” The last words came out in a bitter rush, and Sirius’ breathed heavily, as if he’d run a marathon. He squeezed his eyes shut against the flood of memories that came pouring back—formal dinners, pinched looks, snide remarks.“I made myself sick the first time I ate without her supervision. I was at school, and there were so many things I wasn’t allowed back home.” Sirius laughed, this time it was genuine. “I just ate everything, I’m not even kidding.” He smiled when Remus chuckled. “James was so confused by the fact I had never eaten mash potatoes before. He was confused until a friend of ours staged,” he brought his hands up to finger quote, “an intervention.”Remus’ sharp breath intake made him look up. He stayed quiet for so long that Sirius wished he’d say something to fill the empty space between them.“I’m so sorry,” he finally said. It was gentle on Sirius’ exposed skin.Sirius looked away, exhaling. “Yeah, well. It’s done now. It’s been years.”“It’s still here, though.” Remus stepped closer. Sirius could see his shoes in front of his own. “You’re still dealing with it.”That was the worst part, if Sirius had to be honest. The fact that even years later, his mother could show up at any time and destroy any progress he had made, scratch on every scar he had. He shook his head to clear it. “You don’t have to stay.”“I know,” Remus whispered. “I want to, though.”In the end, Sirius couldn’t stop himself from staring at him. Remus’ eyes were the same colour of the dry oak leaves in the Potter’s back yard. In autumn, Effy would make them tea and sit with them in the porch, listening to their day and laughing at their jokes. Looking at Remus felt a lot like that.“I like myself now,” Sirius heard himself say. It was so easy to talk when Remus’ eyes were so kind. “Strong genes, yeah? I know I’m… pretty. I know, and I know people see it too. I love the way I look. I just—sometimes I forget.”Remus smiled and pressed their foreheads together. “It’s okay,” he said. “I’ll remind you.”The love in his chest was thick, and it made it harder to breathe right there for a moment, too great to be contained in the small cage of his ribs. Remus was so good, Sirius had no business wanting to keep him for himself. But Sirius was selfish, and Remus was so fucking sweet.“Remus,” he breathed. If he just tilted his head a bit, he could taste the sweetness. “You… you—”“It’s okay,” he repeated. Sirius was beautifully trapped, Remus’ chest was pressing him against the wall. “Yeah? It’s okay.”“Do you know?” He finally, finally asked. Sirius’ lips brushed on Remus’, and a knife planted itself in Sirius’ stomach. “You have to know.”Remus’ hands cradled his jaw, a thumb brushed wetness off his cheekbone. Sirius hadn’t even realised he was crying. “I know, sweetheart.”A shaky breath left Sirius as he slumped in Remus’ hold. He thought he’d feel embarrassed the moment inevitably came, but he felt relieved, happy to let Remus know, to speak it into existence so Remus could feast on it. “I love you.”“I know,” Remus replied. He smiled a smile Sirius hadn’t seen yet. “I love you, too.”It felt like his heart stopped, while at the same time furiously beating in his chest. Remus closed the space between them slowly, as if savouring it. Sirius hoped it tasted as good as Remus’ lips, soft and warm against his. It was easy kissing Remus, as natural as breathing air into his lungs.“You love me?” Sirius asked on his lips.“Of course I do.” Remus smiled and brushed his hair behind his ear. “How could I not?”“You’re in love with me?”“Tremendously so,” he whispered. “Desperately.”The love in his chest was thick. But, somehow, it made it easier to breathe. It wrapped around him, coddled him, smothered him in a devotion that was a mirror of his own. It was exhilarating, to have a beast so fierce in his chest.“Will you show me?” Sirius asked. “Will you show me how desperately you love me?”“Of course.”So Sirius took his hand and they walked to his room together. It felt monumental, a moment from which they could never come back from, and it wasn't scary at all. It felt right, it felt comforting to know that even if Sirius had forgotten his own worth, had momentarily regressed to his childhood home, Remus was there to remind him that he wasn’t that boy anymore.“Sit,” he instructed, guiding him to the side of the bed.Remus’ eyes were alight with desire. It wasn’t an unusual sight, many times Sirius had felt devoured by the look in his eyes, but it was different there, a new kind of hunger that wanted to be translated and understood by Sirius’ brain, in a language that he knew.Slowly, Remus undressed him. Sirius let him look, let his eyes rake the skin and bone and muscle and fat. He fidgeted, twisting his fingers and biting his lips as Remus’ eyes took all of him in. A dark, cold part of his mind told him that Remus would find everything disgusting, the voice that had been shouting the whole night—a voice that sounded like his mother’s—was hissing at him like a snake, about his thighs, his stomach, how his arse looked sitting down.But Remus breathed out, and it was a little wet, charged.“You’re breathtaking,” he said. Sirius held his breath when Remus bent down to kiss him. “You—you’ve called yourself pretty, but you’re etherial, Sirius.”“Oh…” It slipped out of him before he could stop it. He wasn’t expecting Remus to talk, that wasn’t—“You don’t even know it,” he continued. Sirius’ breath hitched when Remus trailed kisses down his jaw and on his neck. “The first time I saw you, I thought I had made you up.” Remus’ hands were everywhere, gripping his hips, trailing down his arms, caressing his face. His mouth was in the crook of Sirius’ neck, sucking and biting gently. Sirius shivered when he inhaled deeply. “I love the way you smell. You always smell so good, taste so good on my lips.”Sirius was shaking, trying to keep as still as possible. Heat rose in his cheeks and followed Remus down to his chest. “I saw you from my office, talking to Lily. There was one single point of light there—it was on you, and I thought you were a vision. You couldn’t be real.” He took one nipple in his mouth and sucked gently. Sirius arched into it, his body slowly catching on fire. “But you were, you are, and when you spoke to me, I knew it had to be what heaven felt like.”A breathy moan escaped him when Remus released his nipple and nibbled his way down to his stomach. Sirius clenched his muscles, a shyness he hadn’t felt in so long tightening his chest at Remus’ words, gentle like his hands and mouth.“I love this,” he breathed on Sirius’ stomach. “It’s soft, and it’s lovely, and it’s where I want to rest my head when you have your hands in my hair.” He moved from one side to the other, kissing and nipping and licking into Sirius’ bellybutton. “It’s where I find solace. Where I feel at peace.”Remus’ knees dropped on the floor with a thud, and Sirius whined like it hurt him. His mouth trailed lower, over Sirius hipbones, down to his groin, opening his legs to kiss Sirius’ inner thighs and licking over the marks he left there just hours earlier. His hard cock went ignored, but Sirius, for once, didn’t care about it, it wasn’t about that.“But your legs—your legs have so much power.” Remus stroke the back of his left knee and left a kiss on his calf, before placing them on his shoulder and doing the same with the other. “They carry you around with grace, make you dance. They wrap around my hips and they open for me and I’m so, so grateful.”With a gentle, deliberate touch, Remus’ hands moved up his to cradle Sirius’ waist, fingers dancing along the curves and lines of his body. Sirius closed his eyes and grimaced at the way Remus’ fingers dug into it, but his eyes opened when he heard Remus moan into the skin of his navel. “The way you feel under my hands—it’s indescribable. Your skin is like silk, and so fucking soft it makes me want to bite down and eat you whole.”Sirius moaned then, squirming under Remus’ intensity, feeling the pull in his navel, the one that asked for more. Remus said he wanted to eat Sirius whole, and Sirius wanted to be consumed by him, devoured until there was nothing left. “Remus…”“You’re a balm for every soreness that I have,” he continued.Sirius shuddered, his head falling back as Remus peppered kisses down his belly. The touches were deliberate, methodical. It was overwhelming, and tears pushed at the back of his eyes.“And this.” Remus’ voice was a growl, thick with emotion and arousal as he placed a kiss on the tip of Sirius’ cock. Sirius gasped, and a tear ran down his temple and disappeared into his hair. “This is the most perfect cock, so pink and pretty, and the perfect size to put in my mouth.”Sirius’ legs trembled and he whimpered as Remus took it into his mouth. He sucked slowly, leisurely, humming when he reached the tip and sank back down. Sirius’ whole body felt like an exposed nerve, a bundle of electricity that buzzed with every lick, every suck that drew gasps and moans from his throat. One of Remus’ hands was kneading Sirius’ thighs, and the other gripped his waist so tightly that Sirius could already feel the bruises forming.“Look at you,” Remus groaned when he came up. “I can just hold you so well. I can just grip down and keep you forever.”“Yes,” Sirius moaned. “Keep me forever.”“You’re mine, Sirius,” Remus said. “And it’s the best feeling I’ve ever felt. Loving you is the easiest thing.” He kissed down his shaft and took his bollocks in his mouth, sucking gently at the sensitive skin. Sirius was burning up, writhing against the raising pressure in his navel, and when Remus placed a kiss on his hole, he screamed.“I am in love with each part of you but this—” he licked over Sirius’ perineum and dipped the tip of his tongue inside him. Sirius could feel his hole giving under the pressure, muscle still loose from the afternoon, and he clenched around Remus’ tongue while he cried, chest heaving with the weight of his arousal. “The way you take me inside of you, the way your little hole stretches to welcome me—it’s such a heady feeling to be fused with you, to be just one. I’m so lucky.”“Remus, please,” he sobbed, reaching down to grasp at his hands.“Tell me, sweetheart.”“Fuck me, please,” he moaned as Remus continued to eat him out, tongue lapping and fucking into him with urgency.Sirius pulled Remus’ hands up to his face and kissed his fingers, looking into his eyes when he stood after kissing his stomach one more time. Sirius watched as Remus towered over him, undressing gracelessly and throwing his clothes on the floor. He let Remus move him in the middle of his bed, and he looked into his eyes as he lubed his cock and pressed it against Sirius’ stretched entrance. It still burned, and Sirius gasped in delight when he bottomed out.“You’re so warm, so inviting,” Remus whispered against his lips. He leaned down and Sirius’ head felt lighter as Remus stole the air from his lungs. “When I fuck you, and when I make love to you, I never want to stop. You’re addicting.”His thrusts were unhurried, measured, but Remus’ hands moved almost frantically from his hair to his face, to his chest. Sirius was panting, trying to breathe around the thick lump in his throat, and tears were falling too quickly for Remus to dry.Then, he pulled out, and Sirius cried a heartbroken, pitiful sound.“I need to see you, sweetheart,” he said as he laid on his back. “Please—please, will you ride me?”Sirius’ head spun when he sat up, a horrible shiver of vulnerability crept down his spine like a block of ice at the thought of what Remus was asking, at being completely exposed to his eyes. Annoyance made his lip wobble and his eyes fill with tears; he’d thought of this plenty of times, the way he’d be able to control their pace, how it would feel to be in charge of it, to be trusted by Remus to decide. He’d never imagined that the first time Remus proposed it, he’d feel like a paper crane, one gust of wind away from being ripped apart.Sirius’ hands trembled when he gripped Remus’ thighs under him, his breath hitching as he tried to steady himself. He could feel the weight of Remus’ gaze as it bore down on every inch of his skin and it made his heart pound in his chest, an unsteady rhythm carrying fear and deep, deep craving.“Are you sure, sweetheart?” Remus asked softly, running his hands up and down Sirius’ thighs. “Only do it if you’re comfortable, yeah?”“I’m—yeah,” Sirius nodded, finding Remus’ hands and linking their fingers together. “I’m just... I’m feeling shy. I’ve never done this.”“It’s okay, baby. Let me help you.” He pressed a kiss on Sirius’ hand, before letting go and reaching behind him, holding his cock steady for Sirius to sink down on. “You’ll feel so good, look so pretty…”The first breach was intense, more than it usually was. He wasn’t relaxed—he couldn’t be, standing on his knees and lowering himself on Remus’ hips. But it felt so good, so right, that Sirius couldn’t keep his eyes open anymore. He gasped and threw his head back, straightening his back and just… dropping down. He was full to burst, sitting down on Remus’ hips, feeling the thin hair tickle his hole as he rolled back and forth slowly, relishing the stretch, the pressure, the depth.“Oh my fucking god,” he heard Remus whisper, a sound so full of awe and veneration that brought new tears to Sirius’ eyes. “Look at you, my love.”My love, Remus had called him. Not love—not one, generic kind of love. His own, the one Remus held in his chest, the love that belonged to him. Remus’ soul had picked Sirius to give it to, and all Sirius wanted to do was cry, because it felt so good to be loved back so desperately, so wholly.Remus inhaled shakily, holding and grabbing at Sirius’ hips and waist. Sirius opened his eyes and sped up his movements, looking at Remus’ raptured expression, at the way his mouth was parted as he took in Sirius’ body moving on his own.“You’re not just—Christ, you’re not just pretty, or beautiful, or—” a choked moan interrupted him, something involuntary that filled Sirius with pride. “Fuck, Sirius, you’re art. You are the masterpiece every artist tries to emulate, and never can.”The choked sound Remus made had Sirius’ muscles clenching, and his chest tighten at his words. The careful eyes on him, focused, the way it felt like every breath Sirius took was a revelation for Remus—it made him want to hide, but more, he wanted to spread himself open and let Remus stare, let him take in every part of him and wolf it down. It was terrifying. It was electrifying.He rocked his hips faster, he moved himself up and sunk back down hard, moaning and gasping and sobbing at the burn of his bruised flesh, at the melodic sound of their skin together. Each time, Remus’ hands gripped him tighter, each time his fingers sunk in the softness of his body, and Sirius knew he was being stitched back together, piece by piece by Remus hungry hands and eyes, he was helping him smooth the sharp edges and close Sirius’ wounds.The time he spent feeling less, feeling broken, was further and further away as Remus laid beneath him, worshipping every curve of his body, every mark and every little thing he ever doubted.Sirius had no idea how he hadn’t seen it before, such love in Remus’ eyes. It was blatant, irreverent, it was so much that was almost overwhelming, to be revered and cherished by his eyes.“You are every painter’s muse, my love.” Sirius wailed loudly when Remus met his movements, hips fucking up into him as tears filled his eyes. Remus stroke up and down his thighs, breath hitching each time Sirius’ muscles clenched with the effort, then stroke up to his hips, fingers digging and kneading and making their way to Sirius’ chest. “You’re what they paint, what they worship—the divine, Sirius. You’re a fucking star, and I’m just a man. And I can’t get enough of you. I don’t want to.”Sirius’ movements were frantic, the tears he tried to hold were falling freely. Remus thought he was all that, and Sirius believed him, trusted him. Sirius loved him.“I love you,” he sobbed, bending to bring their lips together. “I love you, I love you.”“And I love you,” he replied in a whisper. He planted his feet on the mattress and pounded into Sirius, holding onto his arse and pulling cries and shouts from the bottom of Sirius’ lungs. “Do you feel it?” He asked, clenching his fingers in the meat of his cheeks. “Do you feel how well you fit me? Everywhere—in my hands, around my cock, inside my heart and my brain, in my arms when you sleep.”One of his hands moved to close around Sirius’ prick and Sirius felt the pleasure zip through him like a bolt when Remus passed his thumb on the tip. He stroke slowly, flicking his wrist, breathing in Sirius’ gasps with an open mouth as he stared at his face. Sirius knew right there that it was it for him, Remus was it for him.“Please, let me see you come,” he begged. “Show me, my love.”Sirius couldn’t resist him if he tried. He came, crying and wailing, pulling at Remus’ hair as they kissed. Remus was right behind him, coming deep inside him and holding his body down as he convulsed, burying himself so urgently that Sirius just knew he never wanted to leave. Remus fit inside him like a missing piece. Inside his body, inside his heart, his soul, showing Sirius how to patch up the broken pieces with gold, how to make them even more precious than they used to be before shattering.Sirius clung to his shoulders, shaking and sobbing in the crook of his neck where his whole world was narrowed into, their bodies locked together and their hearts beating next to each other. He was crying, and shaking, and he couldn’t breathe, yet he’d never felt better than in that moment right there, with Remus’ hands pressing on his back and his voice in his ear.“You’re all that, my love,” he was saying. “You’re beautiful, you’re kind, you’re funny. I love the sound of your voice and I love how your hair never stays where you want it to. I love how deeply you care for people, and how much you love yourself.”Sirius hiccupped, trying to catch his breath. “Som-sometimes I forget,” he stammered. “I’m not perfect, but—”“No, you’re not,” Remus interrupted him. He shifted, rolling them over so he could lay on top of Sirius, careful not to slip out. His weight pressed him into the mattress, and Sirius’ breathing slowed. “You’re not perfect. Because perfection isn't real, my love. And you are.”Sirius looked up at him, surprise widening his eyes. “I’m real…”“You are.” Remus smiled down at him, then pressed a soft kiss on his lips. “And I love you because you’re real. You’re raw and honest. You carry yourself with grace and I am grateful to witness it. And I will be honoured to help you remember whenever you forget.”“You’ll remind me?”“Every day you need me to.”Sirius’ chest ached at the promise, and he nodded, wrapping himself around Remus and peppering his skin with kisses. He hoped Remus could feel his heart swell, he wished he could show it to him.Sirius pressed his lips to Remus’ collarbone, and his voice shook when he spoke. “And you’ll make love to me?”“For as long as you’ll let me.”“Forever,” Sirius breathed.“Forever, then,” Remus whispered back.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Being in love was, arguably, the best feeling in the world.Sirius lived and breathed everything Remus, and he no longer had to hide it anymore. He had no idea how he hadn’t figured out sooner that he was head over heels in love with the man, because his thoughts during the day didn’t change much. The only difference? He was sure Remus loved him right the fuck back.Honestly, it was like someone had planted jets under every pair of Sirius’ shoes so he could walk one metre above the ground at all times. Which would be ideal, since his boyfriend—boyfriend!—was a bloody giant.“You can’t actually be two damn metres,” Sirius scoffed, twisting in his seat, which was, of course, Remus’ lap.Remus chuckled and wrapped his arms around Sirius’ middle. “I’m not, my love. I said almost two.”Sirius rolled his eyes—his boyfriend was so silly. “Okay, well, how much is almost?”Remus’ answer was very rudely interrupted by a groan from Regulus, who was sitting on the other side of the table and seemed to be on the verge of a mental breakdown.“When I said you could bring him,” he said, pointing his fork at Remus’ face. “I certainly did not mean you could engage in indecencies at my kitchen table.”For one, fantastical moment, Sirius imagined Remus and himself in the throes of said indecencies. He let out a snort, leaning back into Remus’ chest with a dramatic sigh. “You clearly know nothing of our indecencies if you think this is it.”Regulus shot him a glare that could curdle milk. “And I intend to keep it that way. I’m already in therapy, I don’t need any more reasons to go.”Remus tried, and failed miserably, to stifle a laugh in Sirius’ hair. “I suppose we should rein it in,” he murmured, lips brushing Sirius’ temple.“You could at least sit on your bloody chair,” Regulus mumbled, going back to his food.Sirius sighed again, louder, but complied, not before leaving a kiss on Remus’ smile.It had been two weeks since that glorious night, the night Remus said he loved him for the first time, the night he venerated and cherished Sirius’ whole being and they agreed to love each other forever. It had been two weeks since Remus told him that he couldn’t get enough of Sirius, and with every passing day, Sirius realised just how much it was true.That night, Remus had told him, was when he had let himself really have Sirius, really think of him as his, and he had said that it was hard not to touch him all the time, not to have his hands on him whenever they were close enough. Remus had told him that after fucking him into the mattress twice, when his hands kept roaming over Sirius’ naked, pliant body, so much that Sirius had gotten hard again, and Remus had sucked him off enthusiastically.So there, in Regulus’ kitchen, when Sirius slid into his own chair, he wasn’t surprised when Remus’ hands found his thigh, nor was he surprised when, after finally eating lunch and hanging out with Reg, Remus had asked him if he wanted to spend the afternoon together.“It’s just, I have to go to work tonight,” he said, letting go of the wheel to brush the pad of his fingers on Sirius’ knee as he drove towards Sirius’ street. “And I know you wanted to go to Camden today, I could join you?”Sirius sighed, thoughts of Cyberdog’s sales making his spoiled heart beat furiously. “Eh, Uncle Al said that if I go into another impromptu shopping spree he’s cutting me off.” At Remus’ horrified face, he shook his head, quick to reassure. “No, Moons—he wouldn’t, not really. I spent like three hundred quid last month.”“I thought he was minted?”“Well, yeah,” Sirius chuckled. “He is. And he’s teaching me to be more mindful, he says. Which is good, ‘cause I never had to think about it before, you know?” He shrugged. “I didn’t even know the same thing can have different prices.”They turned into Archery, and the sight of Remus waving at the gatekeeper with a smile made his stomach clench in delight at the way Remus just slotted himself into Sirius’ life and fit like he was always meant to be there.Remus hummed while he turned the car off in front of Sirius’ door. As he opened his mouth to answer, Mrs Fellon walked out of the building and made an excited noise of surprise.“Oh, dear!” She said, stepping close to Remus. “Haven’t seen you in a while! How are you, Remus?”Sirius barely contained his giggle at the enamoured look she threw at Remus, who shut the door and turned to her with a smile. “I’m very well, thank you. How are you, Mrs Fellon?”“I told you to call me Dianne, dear,” she tutted. “I’m quite alright, myself. I was worried Sirius had booted you out already! I told him, this one is for keeps but he never listens to me!”Remus laughed quietly as Sirius rounded the car and stepped next to him, linking their fingers together. “Not booted out yet,” he said. “Though I might have to agree with you. I intend to keep him forever if he lets me.”“My heavens,” she squeaked in delight. “Did you hear that, Sirius? This man is a gem! You’d better not let him slip away.” She turned back to Remus then, not giving Sirius the chance to say anything. “Listen, Remus, if you ever need advice for dealing with this one, you know where to knock, yes? Boys like him are a handful.”Remus looked at him and cocked an eyebrow, “Oh, I know exactly how to keep him in line.”Sirius gaped at him, face heating up as Mrs Fellon—Dianne laughed. “You minx!” She exclaimed. “I’ll be off then, it’s best I don't hear any of that, is it?”“I cannot believe you,” Sirius hissed at Remus when she was gone, punching his shoulder weakly as he snickered. “I’m never going to live that down!”Remus grinned, a pleased expression on his face as he rubbed at the offended spot. “I’m just saying it as it is. She’s rooting for us, didn’t you hear?”Sirius scoffed, and he turned to the lift to hide his smile from Remus. But he knew better—he was made of glass when it came to him, he knew how to read every flicker of emotion that crossed his face. It was comforting in a way that still scared him a little. He pressed his lips into a pout, which worked like a charm to melt Remus like butter and make him fuss over him in that sweet way only he could master.“I’m going to make it up to you, my love. Promise,” he said, crossing his fingers on his heart.“You better,” Sirius huffed. Only when they were in Sirius’ flat did he continue. “You better start now. First request: fuck me senseless.”Remus laughed, picking Sirius up and making his way to the bedroom. "What about Camden?”“Don’t care,” he replied. “We’ll go tomorrow.” They met under the Camden Lock the morning after. Sirius was bouncing in place, excitedly telling Remus all about the final project of the curatorial class he’d taken that semester. It had come as a bit of a surprise for him, the list of elective classes in his second year proposing things he’d never heard of before. Aesthetics and Curatorship were two of those, and Sirius had picked the second and regretted it when he read what Aesthetics was about.Once his classes had started, though, he had felt much more confident in his choice. Never before had he thought of the job of a curator, always going to museums and assuming the staff was in charge of the where’s and the how’s, but by then, with the class coming to a close and the final project looming over him, he had started to think that maybe that could be the path he wanted to choose for himself.“It’s just so cool, Moons,” he prattled on, squeezing Remus’ hand and waving their arms back and forth. “McGonagall managed to slither us in between two exhibitions at the V&A—the V&A, Moons! Granted, it's just like, ten of us, and for just two weeks, but still! And she told us that we will each be given a room to plan and dress…”Sirius pulled Remus’ hand towards the metal giants outside of Cyberdog and chuckled at Remus’ concerned expression. “They’re cool, right? Anyway, what was I—oh yes! She’ll give a room to each and we don't know what the room is about or even what the artworks will be until like, the week before the start of the project. We’ll have to give her our final planning for that week's Friday with the costs and the materials, and we’ll start once she gives the go-ahead…”When they reached the bottom of the stairs, Sirius stopped talking abruptly, realising he’d been rambling for a while. He glanced at Remus, a sheepish grimace on his face. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to—you probably don't even care.”Remus just smiled and brought their linked hands to his mouth, placing a small kiss on the back of Sirius’. “Don’t apologise. I care about everything that makes you this excited.”All of the tension left Sirius' body, and he did not put up any fight when Remus pulled him into his arms. With his lips pressed to Remus’ sternum, he looked up, suddenly very shy. “You mean that?”There was a distant murmur in the shop, of people lazily strolling between the colourful mannequins. Remus nodded and stroked his hair. “You’re so passionate, my love. It's one of my favourite things about you, I love seeing you like this.”He didn’t even try to hide his grin. “Thank you, Moons.”He took Remus’ hand and ventured into the shop, stopping every now and then to place something in his arms. He had felt a little bad, but Remus insisted on carrying all the clothes he was going to buy, so Sirius, the generous boyfriend that he was, let him.The neon lights of Cyberdog cast a soft glow over the vibrant displays, and Sirius couldn’t help but dart from one rack to another, pointing out every obscure piece, excitement radiating in his fingers tracing over the outlandish clothing, feeling each fabric as if committing them to memory, pressing it on himself to see, turning to Remus to show him.Remus was trailing behind him as the rhythmic pulse of music kept pace with his movements. He was watching Sirius with a soft, amused smile, and each step seemed to act as a gravitational pull between them, one that Sirius felt in that moment more than ever. His mind could wander, jumping from one thing to the other in quick succession, but one thing was always in focus: Remus, a steady presence right next to Sirius.Frankly, it threatened to make Sirius anxious sometimes, the way Remus had of making him feel present in his own body, grounding him in his skin, locking him inside. But for each of those times, Remus was there with him, encouraging him, immersed deep into Sirius’ bones and just relaxing, waiting for Sirius to get used to it.And Sirius always did, because he was a bloody simp.Halfway through the shop, he started to make his way to the dressing rooms. He’d picked up way too many things, most of which he wasn’t sure about—no matter how pretty Sirius was, he’d never been able to rock acid green.He’d always thought the rooms were quite strange, but they looked different than he remembered. Each was a large cabin, dimly illuminated and quite spacious, with huge mirrors and a (frankly gorgeous) large armchair. When Remus locked the door behind himself, however, he suddenly loved the place even more.Remus carefully unfolded the clothes, hanging them to the racks on one side, then sat on the armchair, legs wide open and a sly smile on his face. “Go on, then.”Sirius froze for a moment, fingers trailing over the rim of his t-shirt. The blush on his face spread like wildfire, heating him from the inside out as Remus’ eyes trailed over him. He didn’t say a word until Sirius was undressed, his favourite knickers barely hiding the twitch of his cock.“Such a pretty baby,” Remus murmured. “Put on a show for me, will you?”Sirius cleared his throat, narrowing his eyes at Remus. “Does everything have to be sexual with you?”Remus chuckled, a deep roll that shook Sirius’ bones. “I distinctly remember you asking for my cock in the middle of a grocery run,” he said, shutting him the fuck up. Sirius had the image very clear in his head, him begging Remus to let him suck on his cock in the breakfast aisle. “I’d say we fit. Now, be a good boy and do as you’re told.”His breath hitched, but Sirius turned to pick up the first item of the pile.The process was as embarrassing as he’d thought, pulling up clothes and bending down in the middle of a billion of mirrors was threatening to bring up all the shit he sure as fuck did not want right there.But Remus was watching with rapt attention, and the outline of his half-hard cock was already visible between his long, open legs. Sitting there, on the plush velvet armchair, he looked like a king, watching Sirius do as he was told and being good for him, keeping him tied to his little finger. Sirius smirked to himself when Remus’ hand twitched on his leg, his eyes boring holes into Sirius’ chest as he pulled on a tight crop top with a heart-shaped hole almost showing off his nipples.Then, he reached for the next one and promptly flushed when he realised which one it was, all the bravado and the arrogance dropping right out of him. The cyber kilt, as it was called: cute, edgy, sort of punk-rock. And short enough that his cheeks would be barely hidden. He pulled it over his legs and clicked the belt closed, before brushing it down and looking up at Remus.“This one’s… something,” he said, shifting in place. As he moved, he could feel the air on his exposed bum. “I, um... what do you think?”“You look nice,” Remus said. He ducked his head to look behind him, and a slow, hungry smile stretched his mouth. “Would you look at that.”Sirius twisted to look too, and there it was. The skirt’s folds rested on his arse and were not long enough to cover all of it, making the bottom of his cheeks peek out from under it. It should’ve looked stupid, tacky, yet with Remus’ eyes fixed on it, Sirius felt like a siren, beautiful and deadly, pulling Remus to him, hypnotising him. He arched his back, revealing a bit more, watching as Remus leaned back and grabbed at his dick over his jeans.Sirius took a deep breath, steadying himself before saying, “Maybe it’s too short, daddy.”Remus inhaled sharply, looking up at his face. “Baby—”“Everyone can see my panties,” Sirius kept going, turning to face away from Remus, giving him a front-row view of his arse. “I can’t even…” he bent down, and the skirt ran up his arse, revealing half of it to Remus.Remus sat up so quickly that Sirius startled in surprise, leaning over his seat and grabbing Sirius’ legs to pull him closer. Sirius stumbled backwards, an indignant noise falling out of his mouth that turned into a moan when Remus bit down harshly where his thigh met his arse. “Remus—” he whispered, but had to bite into his lip to starve off the moan when Remus slapped his arse, suddenly very aware of the other changing rooms around them. “Daddy, what—”“You’re buying this,” Remus answered quietly on his skin. His tongue lapped over his knickers, right in between Sirius’ cheeks, and Sirius felt the touch like a blow to the stomach. “You’re buying this and you will let me fuck you in it, won’t you?”“Yes, daddy.” Sirius nodded frantically, rubbing himself on Remus’ face while trying to keep his balance and avoid falling on his face. “Whatever you want.”That seemed to be the keyword for whatever they were doing, because Remus let him go and sat back down on the armchair, breathing heavily and moving his hand on his crotch. Sirius got the message and went back to stand in the middle of the small room, stripping down once again and handing Remus the clothes.Next was a very strange item of clothing, with crossed strips of white fabric covering his pecs connected to a quite dull-looking underwear piece. Remus hadn’t even let him put it on, only a gruff “Put that away. Looks cheap,” that sent a shiver down Sirius’ spine. He agreed though, especially with the fake diamonds that lined the bra strap.When he picked up the next thing, he had to focus to remember why he’d even grabbed it. It was a hoodie from the men’s section and, for how much Sirius loved the shop, even he had to admit the women’s section was the only one worth the money they asked. Then, he saw the strings of the black body and almost moaned.He dropped the hoodie back on the pile and scurried to put the two pieces on. He paid close attention to the holes that the strings formed, tidying them on his skin and grimacing when the ones over his groin were disturbed by his underwear. He contemplated taking it off for a moment, then cleverly decided he did not want to catch any diseases.“You look gorgeous, baby,” Remus said. “I don’t particularly like the back, but the front… Imagine how pretty your little cock will look without your knickers on.” Sirius’ breath hitched, and Remus hummed when he bent down to retrieve the hoodie. “You know, I’m reconsidering the back. Your bum looks so good.”Remus liked the hoodie as well once he saw it over the body, with its holes wide enough to hint at what lay underneath, and Sirius was giddy about that. They kept sorting through the pile, and Sirius set aside most of it, safe for a little black dress that Remus liked, a mesh jumpsuit and a pair of trousers with wide holes in all the right places. Remus even tried to fit his hand in one of the holes over his bum, and Sirius was delighted to see that it fit.He turned to the last item, finally looking at it properly. He was sure he hadn’t picked it up himself, he could not remember ever seeing something like that in the shop. It was a red, slick-looking leotard, with a zipper that went from his neck to—oh god.“What—I didn’t…” he stammered, face and chest heating up.Remus hummed, pushing his palm on his clothed cock and bucking up into it. “Try it on for me, baby.”“Did you…” Sirius swallowed drily, eyes still fixed on the thing. “Did you get it?”“I took it from a chair,” Remus replied simply. “And if I have to repeat myself, you’re not coming for a week.”His cock jumped at the threat, and he complied immediately. He unzipped the leotard to the navel and slid it up his legs. It sat a bit too snugly against his arse, and for a moment, Sirius thought it wouldn’t fit him. The fabric was glossy, reflecting the light in a way that made it seem almost liquid, and Sirius hesitated. It was so lovely, and Remus had picked it for him, if it didn’t fit he’d be heartbroken. He wanted so badly to look good for Remus, but he was petrified by the thought of—“Baby?”Remus’ voice was in his ear. Sirius jumped slightly, turning his head to look at him. “Daddy…”“Let me help you, little love,” Remus said, holding the fabric up for Sirius to slide his arms in.An involuntary whine crawled out of Sirius’ throat at his words, and he dutifully complied with the request. Remus pulled the rubbery fabric up his arms and over his shoulders, straightening and smoothing the creases. It clung to his skin, shaping itself on Sirius’ body in a way that made his breath catch. Then Remus zipped it up, the vibrations of the zipper grating on his hardening prick, and Sirius outright moaned, gripping at Remus’ arms to keep himself upright.Remus shushed him with a wink, looking over Sirius’ shoulder as he adjusted the zipper on his arse to snug into his cleft, fingers sliding under the fabric and spreading him open, moving Sirius’ body as he liked. Sirius gasped when Remus’ finger brushed over his hole, and a harsh smack on his exposed cheek stopped him from rutting against Remus’ leg.With another hum, Remus stepped back to take in Sirius’ whole body, and Sirius could finally see himself in the mirror on the door. The leotard fit him perfectly. It looked like someone had painted it on him, thin, red strokes of colour that accentuated every curve and made him look sinful.Remus sat back down on the arm of the chair, admiring Sirius, hastily moving his eyes all over him as if he was scared of missing something vital. Sirius felt dangerously exposed, he could see the outline of his cock perfectly through the crotch, but Remus’ gaze was scorching hot on him, and it made him feel invincible.“Daddy…” he called. His breath was shallow. “Daddy, do you like it?”“I love it, baby” Remus kept staring at him as he brought a hand to press down on his cock again. “Fuck, baby, I could come just looking at you.”Sirius shivered, heat blooming under his skin, under the intensity of Remus’ stare. It made him feel small, it made him feel like prey. He wanted—no, he needed Remus’ hands on him.He whimpered, hastily unzipping the neck of the leotard. “Let’s go home, please.”Remus chuckled, but it sounded rough. “Baby needs daddy’s cock?”“Yes, yeah.” Sirius took a step towards him, dropping his arms on his side. “Help, daddy please.”He made quick work of taking it off Sirius, which did not help his cock get any softer, so he quickly threw on his trousers and hoodie, holding the jacket under his arm and pushing an amused Remus to the door. He felt a little bad for the lump of clothes they left in the changing room, but he really needed to get out of there as quickly as possible.A cashier with pink and blue hair sat behind the register and looked up when they saw them arrive. They were pretty, and the shape of their eyes was vaguely familiar. He smiled at the name tag, which had Nymph written in holographic letters, and wondered if all the staff had a themed nickname. More than once he thought of applying for a job at the shop, and he would absolutely rock a name like Muse or Rogue. Even Sprite, though he’d have to compete with the drink.“Hundred and four quid total, sir,” the cashier said, pushing the bag towards them. “And—”“What are you doing?!” Sirius hissed, watching horrified as Remus pulled out his phone in front of the POS.“I’m paying for this, my love,” he said, shrugging as if it wasn’t a big deal. “Said I would, didn’t I?”Sirius shook his head frantically, momentarily stunned by the words. “No, I—no you didn’t!”“I thought I did. Must’ve been a thought then.”“Excuse me, sir?” the cashier interrupted, picking up the red leotard. “I’m sorry, but this one I can't ring up here. You have to go back downstairs.”Sirius’ brain was, admittedly, scattered all around, one part still in the changing rooms while the other was trying to keep his face in check after Remus’ comment, so it took him a full minute to understand what they said, and in that minute Remus had paid for the clothes and grabbed the bag in one hand and Sirius in the other.“What—downstairs?” He asked, looking between him and the cashier. “There’s another floor?!”Sirius only saw the cashier’s face for a moment, lips pressed together as they watched Remus drag him deeper into the store. Sirius had the distinct impression they were holding back a giggle.“What is downstairs?” Sirius muttered under his breath, vaguely annoyed as Remus led him to a door tucked in the back of the shop.Remus looked at him with a smirk. “You’ll see,” he said, then pulled the curtain aside and knocked.When the door opened, Sirius’ jaw dropped to the floor.A wide staircase led down to another part of the store, one Sirius had never seen before. Future Lovers was spelt in red LED at the bottom of the stairs, low stroboscopic lights illuminated the space around him as he took in what the secret dungeon had for him. Apparently, a whole bloody sex shop was in the basement of his favourite store. And he had no fucking idea.“How the—how did you even know?!” he hissed at Remus. “You hadn’t even heard of the bloody shop before!”Remus laughed and gently tugged him to the side, pointing at a symbol on the wall. It was round, it looked like a Celtic triskelion, but with three additional dots. Sirius looked at it, then at Remus, then back at it. “Doesn’t help me.”“That, my love,” Remus said, kissing Sirius’ temple. “Is the BDSM emblem. I saw a couple upstairs, and the arrows pointed this way.”Sirius glanced around, eyes widening as he took in the racks in front of him filled with metallic boots, latex corsets, and things that hardly qualified as clothing. “I had no idea this place existed.”“You only need to know where to look, my love.”A hand on his waist made him jump, and he took his eyes off the tiny latex skirts to follow Remus to the displays on the wall. Sirius had to admit, they nailed the theme even down there, with round shelves protruding from the walls closed by neon yellow windows, it all looked rather spaceship-y.And when he took a closer look, even the toys inside looked the part. The window closest to them held a squid-shaped thing that was as thick as Sirius’ wrist, and the next one had a long one in the shape of a snake, with little bumps and scales all over the length of the toy. Sirius’ had to contain a whine at the sight of it, thinking how deep it would go, how it would feel if Remus fucked him with it.A hard body pressed on his back and he closed his eyes, exposing his neck to Remus’ mouth. He bit down hard on the tender skin and sucked on it. “Do you want this one too, little love?”“It’s so long, daddy,” he whispered, pressing his back to Remus’ chest.“Daddy would love to fuck you with it,” Remus murmured in his ear. “Watching your little tummy as it moves, kissing you all over when you squirm. Keeping you full all day.”He almost fell when Remus moved, hugging his waist and pushing him to the register at the end of the corridor. This time, the person at the register had bright red hair, and she was wearing an LED collar with the name of the store rotating over it. She smiled as they approached, and Sirius yelped quietly when Remus placed more than just the leotard on the counter, but a strangely lumped dildo and the snake-shaped thing too.“Remus,” he gasped, barely holding back a whine.The blue-haired cashier looked up at him, unbothered by the items, her calm demeanour and raised eyebrow almost a warning.Remus tutted. “Eyes down, baby,” he said firmly. A shiver rolled down his spine, and the cashier just stared at him, unmoving but to raise her chin. “You don’t want to embarrass yourself, do you?”Sirius’ face burned, and he lowered his gaze with his heart hammering in his chest. His mouth felt dry, and every part of his body tingled with mortification—he could hardly stand, yet his cock throbbed in his trousers at Remus’ words, at the way he ordered him around in front of the woman.The moment his head bowed, the cashier began to scan the items, and Sirius caught the flash of something around her wrist—a leather bracelet, with the emblem Remus explained to him not a moment ago. He wondered how many times he'd seen the symbol without knowing what it was and his breath caught in his throat as he realised that she understood. She was playing her part, she knew exactly what was going on and, in a moment of clarity, the demeanour she had when Sirius wasn’t behaving himself took a whole different meaning.“Anything else I can help you with?” The woman asked.Sirius felt like he might faint, the shame suffocating him, and yet he couldn’t deny how much it turned him on. His hands fisted at his sides as Remus leaned in close, his voice low but loud enough for the cashier to hear.“Just pack it up, love,” he answered, stroking Sirius’ hipbone. “My boy has been very good today.”The cashier laughed a lovely sound. “I can see that. He seems very well trained.”Sirius’ cheeks flamed hotter as he stared at the counter, wishing he could just disappear but hoping the scene would last forever. The more Remus spoke, the more his stomach contorted, aching for more.Before he knew it, however, Remus had paid for the bill. Again. He went to speak, but the words died in his throat. How could he not see it coming? Was he really that much of a mindless horny lump that he hadn’t thought of the fact that they were there to pay?“You okay, baby?” Remus asked, his hand cupping Sirius’s jaw, tilting his face up to meet his gaze. “Yellow? Red?”Sirius’ lip wobbled. “Y-yellow. Why did you pay again?”Remus looked at him, stunned. He gathered himself after a moment, grabbing the bag and thanking the cashier. Sirius heard her ask something, to which Remus answered “Wasn’t that, love, don’t worry,” before taking Sirius’ hand and making his way to the stairs. Sirius managed a week goodbye to the woman, who smiled at him almost running to keep up with Remus’ long legs.They made it outside in record time, though Sirius did not even register the sounds of Camden around them as his mind twisted and warped Remus’ behaviour into something ugly, something—“Here, my little love,” Remus said. Sirius looked up and saw the car door open in front of him. “Are you comfortable sitting with me?”Sirius’ eyes welled with tears as he nodded, taking the passenger seat. By the time Remus climbed in, Sirius’ breath was heavy and uneven. “Sorry,” he choked out. “I didn’t—I’m—”“No, baby, you did so well,” Remus interrupted him, leaning over to place a kiss on the corner of his mouth. “Never be sorry for using your safeword, my love.”“But I-I liked it… with her,” he stammered, trying to breathe. “I just—why did you pay?”Remus sighed quietly, leaving another kiss on Sirius’ face. He held Sirius’ hand in his, and his thumb rubbed circles on his wrist.“I paid because I wanted to buy those things for you, my love,” he answered, his calm voice clashing with the mess in Sirius’ head. “What makes you so anxious, can you explain it to me?”“I-I just…” Sirius’ voice wavered, his eyes darting to their linked hands. His breath caught in his throat as shame twisted his insides so he squeezed Remus’ hand, but the words were so hard to get out. “It reminded me of them. When you paid.”“Of your birth parents?”Sirius nodded, swallowing hard. “They’d buy us things after, after they—like it could make up for it, fix it with enough money. And it's not your fault,” he added quickly, looking up at him. “It just hit me again, the way they wanted to buy us, brushed it off like it never happened with a gift. It took me so long to not cry when the Potters paid for my stuff. It’s still…”“I’m sorry, my love,” Remus whispered when Sirius did not continue. “I didn’t know it would hurt you, I just wanted to take care of you.”Sirius blinked quickly, his vision blurry. “I know, and I hate that my brain connected it,” he admitted, his voice breaking. “I know it’s different, I swear.”“I believe you, Sirius,” Remus said, his voice firm. “We’ll work through it, my love. You tell me when something feels off, and I’ll listen. I always will.”Sirius kissed him, deeply and desperately, and Remus responded in kind, as if he was trying to chase away the bitter taste with his tongue. The knot in his chest released a bit as he melted into the comfort of Remus' warmth, of his words, in the tenderness he gave him without asking for anything else in return. That was what it was all about, there was no receipt, no price tag on Remus’ love. It wasn’t the same.As Remus drove them home, a calm silence settled between them and the weight of the conversation seemed to lift completely. Remus’ hand stroked Sirius’ knee as it always did, and Sirius’ hand rested lightly on his wrist, grounding himself in his pulse and by the time they made it to Remus’ loft, Sirius felt lighter.“Do you feel a bit better?” Remus asked, placing the bags on the floor.Sirius hugged his waist, pushing himself on his toes to kiss him. “Yeah,” he said, smiling faintly. He meant it. “I love you.” He meant that too.“And I love you,” Remus whispered, pressing his smile to Sirius’ forehead. “Go shower, my love. I’ll fix us some lunch.”Sirius made his way to the bathroom, peeling off his clothes, grateful for the moment to collect himself. The warm water cleaning his body felt like a balm, washing away the last of the day’s stupid thoughts. He used Remus’ soap instead of his own and pressed his scent all over his skin, taking care to clean his intimate parts thoroughly and he wished Remus was there with him to help him reach deeper. By the time he stepped out, his mind was clear and his cock was half hard.Take that, Wally, he thought, then grimaced as his dick flattened instantly.Once he put his underwear on, he joined Remus in the kitchen and they ate on the sofa to watch a rerun of Bake Off, just enjoying each other's company. It was moments like those that Sirius cherished the most, the simplicity of them, how they’d laugh and banter over the shape of a cake, or how they said “That’s unnecessary” at the same time after one of the judges gave a harsh criticism.Sirius watched him out of the corner of his eye. It was ridiculous how much he adored that man, how everything Remus did made his heart ache wonderfully. Frowning at overly elaborate cakes, snorting at jokes, missing his mouth because he was focused on the telly, stroking Sirius’ hair, it didn’t matter. He was lovesick, the terrible plague that devotion was made him want to drown in Remus’ existence.He was so taken by the way Remus leisurely laid against the cushions that he jumped when the doorbell rang. Remus chuckled, patting softly on Sirius’ hair to get him to move.“Must be the clothes,” he said distractedly, standing up to get the door.He returned with white bags that smelled vaguely of lavender, and Sirius couldn’t help but peek inside for a sniff. Indeed, it was the clothes they bought, and they did not stink of dust and stale anymore. Then, his face warmed as he thought of the other things Remus bought.Remus caught the look on his face and cocked an eyebrow. “What’s that blush for?”“I was just remembering, um…” he cleared his throat, raising his chin and ignoring the way his prick twitched. “I just remembered the rest of our little indecent haul.”Remus did not ignore his prick. “And you want to play with your toys?”“Maaaybe…” Sirius sang. He looked up at Remus, crawling towards him on the couch, and smirked when his eyes darted to his arse. “Do you want to play with me, daddy?”“I always want to play with you, my love,” Remus said, stroking a finger on Sirius’ cheekbone. “You’ve been so good, but we can’t be late for tonight.”Sirius’ mind went blissfully blank. Tonight? Had he forgotten a date night? They went on a date three days ago, and Remus liked lunch dates more than dinner dates, so it wasn’t that, surely… His horny brain couldn’t really concentrate with Remus’ dick so close to his mouth, but it only took a raised eyebrow for it to click.“Oh, Jesus wept!” He exclaimed, standing on the sofa and almost falling. “It’s Moonshine’s birthday today! It’s Moony’s-going-to-dance-with-me day today!”Remus rolled his eyes, a small smile tugging at his lip. “I never said—”“I forgot! I was distracted by the project and Cyberdog and-and…”“And being horny,” Remus finished for him.“Decidedly so,” Sirius agreed, nodding. “What time is it? I have to get ready, we have to—”Remus smiled indulgently, leaning in to kiss Sirius and shut him up. “We still have time, drama queen. I need you focused if you want to play.”Sirius gasped in delight against his lips, throwing his arms around him. “I can do focused,” he said, before being swiftly picked up by Remus. “God, I love it when you do that.”“You tell me every time, baby.”When they reached the bed, Remus laid him down gently. He kissed him slowly, lapping into Sirius’ mouth the way he knew Sirius loved, hips slowly thrusting between his legs, but just as Sirius was getting desperate, Remus stopped and stood, leaving Sirius to squirm on the bed with his prick leaking in his pants.“Sorry, baby,” Remus said, though he did not sound sorry at all. “I have to wash your new toys if we want to use them.” He chuckled at Sirius’ pout and bent down to kiss him quickly. “Why don't you open your little hole for me while you wait?”“Yes, daddy,” Sirius breathed, pushing his pants down. Remus’ eyes moved to his prick and he licked his lips. The corners of Sirius’ mouth quirked up. “Do you want a taste, daddy?”“Be good,” Remus warned, pinching his side and pulling a giggle out of him. “I'll be right back, my love.”He left a featherlight kiss on the tip of Sirius’ cock, surely just to rile him up. Sirius was not ashamed to admit that it worked. He grabbed the lube on the side table and coated his fingers as he spread his legs, a thoughtful gesture to give a nice view to his daddy, of course.He circled his hole and dipped one finger inside, imagining it was Remus’ thick one, pressing into him deeply, uncaring of the sting. His breath shortened as he pushed in another finger, trying to reach as deep as Remus would and failing, whining pitifully and stroking over the tip of his prick. That was how Remus would do it, stroking the slit right there, or pressing his tongue to it when he was sucking him off.Remus returned just as Sirius was about to come, three fingers roughly fucking in and out and the pad of his finger stroking and pressing on the opening of his urethra. When Sirius opened his eyes to look at him, he moaned loudly at the sight of Remus’ naked chest and his damp hair. His cock was straining inside the black pants he had on and the sight was almost enough to send him over the edge.“Can I come?” He asked, though he already knew the answer.“No, baby,” Remus answered with a smile. “You’ve been so good, but hold it for a bit longer, okay?”Sirius flushed and had to squeeze the base of his length. “Remus!”Remus just laughed, and he sat down between Sirius' open legs, one hand holding his legs up and the other holding the weird bumpy toy he bought earlier. Remus pushed his legs to his chest, and Sirius obediently hugged them tightly, watching hypnotised as Remus lubed up each bump.“Unfortunately, we don't have enough time for the other one,” he said, winking at Sirius. “But this should be fun, too.”Sirius looked at Remus’ hand moving on the toy, wishing they had enough time to do both. He’d take one over none though, and that one did look fun. The soft light glinted off the smooth surface, and Sirius felt his cheeks heat up. He tried to come up with something to say, but instead, he shifted on the bed, unable to tear his eyes away from it. The beads got bigger as they reached the base, and all he could think about was Remus fucking him with it.“You’ll take it all,” Remus continued. “Then I’ll fuck your mouth and you’re not going to come. Ah-ah,” he tutted as Sirius opened his mouth to complain. “You’ll keep the plug all night, baby, and if you’re good, I’ll let you come later.”Sirius blinked at him—surely he didn’t mean that. “Later?”“At the club,” Remus nodded.Sirius’ eyes widened as he looked at the toy again. It was long, and the beads along the shaft looked almost menacing when he thought of wearing them outside the safety of Remus’ home. He shifted, unsure, but his stupid brain betrayed his common sense by reminding him that nobody he knew was going to be there anyway. “I-I don’t know if I can…” he started, but Remus cut him off.“Colour?”“I… g-green, but—”“Then you'll take it. Because I want you to.” Remus brought the toy to his entrance, rotating the first bead against it. “I want you to wear this under your clothes. You’ll sit on my lap, you’ll dance with me, you’ll follow me around like a good little pup, won’t you?”Sirius gasped as the bead slid in. He nodded, widening his legs. “Yes, daddy.”“You’ll be good for daddy, won't you?”A second bead popped inside. “Yes, so good…”Remus hummed, moving the plug to fuck him slightly, then pulling it out completely. “How many fingers did you use?”“Three, daddy.”Nodding, Remus pushed two fingers inside him, scissoring them quickly and pulling moans out of Sirius. He finally felt the stretch, the sting as Remus widened his fingers to open him up. With no warning, he poured some lube into him and Sirius screamed, the cold intense against his walls.“I’m going to push it in,” Remus said, uncaring of Sirius’ state. “Colour?”Sirius panted, brain slow to understand Remus’ words. “Green,” he whined, and he hoped with all that he had that he could hold his orgasm.Remus studied his face for a moment longer, before nodding and pulling his fingers out. Sirius held his breath when he felt the tip of the plug on his hole, but he let it all out in a scream as Remus pushed most of it inside him. It was hard, ungiving as it punched into Sirius, each bead pressing on his prostate and sliding over it bringing him closer and closer.“There’s two more, baby,” Remus informed him.Sirius looked at him, panic twisting his stomach. He couldn’t take two more, it was impossible. The last one already felt huge, and there were two bigger ones? Sirius shook his head, almost crazed, looking up at Remus imploringly, but Remus sighed, and pulled the plug out. Sirius’ eyes rolled to the back of his head and he moaned. “Daddy—I can’t, I can’t!”“You can, and you will,” Remus replied.Sirius whimpered and yelled as he pushed the toy back in, harsher than before, and another, bigger bead slid inside. Sirius gasped and tears wetted his lashes as the pain shoot through him, up his spine and went straight down to his cock. Then Remus pushed harder, and Sirius wailed in sweet, sweet agony as the last one stretched his rim, an unforgiving, slippery pressure fighting against Sirius’ muscle.Sirius’ ears rang so loud he couldn’t hear, the feeling of being stretched so wide so overwhelming he feared he might come right there. The largest part of it was in, keeping Sirius wide open as it twisted and turned, all the others doing the same deep inside him. It slid out for a moment, before it pressed back in, and Sirius wailed again, tears falling as it finally, finally popped inside.For a moment, all was still.Then, sharp pain exploded on the inside of his thigh, and he clenched, gasping as the plug slid a little deeper inside of him. Another bout of pain shot through him and Sirius looked down to see Remus’ teeth sunk in the meat of his leg, a bite mark already bruising just above his nose. He grunted as Remus released his flesh, and he barely had time to recover before Remus latched onto his thigh again, teeth sinking in deeper this time. A sharp breath escaped his lips, a warm rush flooding his body. His cock was leaking on his stomach and he sunk his fingers in Remus’ hair to stop himself from pulling at it and making himself come.
“Fuck!”
Remus bit down on the other thigh, ignoring Sirius as he thrashed on the bed, instinctively trying to dislodge his mouth as the throbbing expanded to the other leg. Sirius felt his consciousness slipping away, the world around him blurred and narrowed down on the sharp pain in his legs, pulsating and throbbing like a beating heart—maybe his, maybe Remus’.Maybe there was no difference, maybe Remus’ teeth on him marked Sirius as his property, maybe they staked a claim in the most primordial, visceral way.The warmth of the pain enveloped him again, and he exhaled as Remus left a new mark on him, the pain and the pleasure lightening his head, making him surrender to the haze that was Remus’ ownership. Remus owned him, Remus loved him, and cherished him, and wanted him so much he was writing it all over Sirius’ thighs.“Daddy,” he murmured, the word filled with awe and sounding like a prayer coming from deep inside his chest. When Remus bit down again, Sirius didn’t make a sound, he just sighed, happy. In love. “Love you, daddy.”“I love you too, baby,” Remus said, placing a kiss on one of the marks. He kissed Sirius’ lips, before standing on his knees and pulling his pants down. Sirius’ mouth dropped open at the sight of his daddy’s cock. “I’ll use your mouth now, okay, baby?”“Please,” he panted, not bothering to close his mouth. There was no need.His eyes fluttered shut as Remus positioned himself above him, knees on either side of his head, the tip of his cock brushing teasingly against his lips, wetting them. When he pushed inside, the taste was intoxicating, so lovely and familiar, and Sirius swallowed around it, trying to keep the taste in his mouth.Remus groaned, his hips jerking slightly as he began to thrust. “Fuck, baby. You’re such a good boy,” he muttered, his grip tightening in Sirius’ hair. “Feel so good around me, my love.”Sirius’s fingers curled against the sheets, fighting the urge to come as Remus fucked in and out of his throat. He coughed and choked, crying openly and keeping his eyes on his daddy’s face as much as he could. He was beautiful up there, looking down at Sirius as he pushed his cock in his throat, as he pressed Sirius’ nose to his navel and rolled his hips, making him cough and choke and clench down on the plug. And love him even more.Remus pulled out just enough to allow Sirius to breathe before plunging back in, thrusting harshly and pulling at Sirius’ hair to move him as he wanted. Sirius whined, pressing his fingers on Remus’ bite marks, rolling his eyes back as his hips bucked involuntarily, orgasm tightening his bollocks when the plug pressed down on his prostate. Remus finally came down his throat and pulled out of his mouth, leaving him gasping and coughing, trembling on the edge, shamelessly begging Remus for anything.“Shh, shh, baby, calm down,” he said into Sirius’ hair, stroking his face tenderly as he shook and whimpered pathetically. “It’s okay. You’re okay, just breathe with daddy.”Another sob shook him and his body clamped down on the only stimulation it had, trying to make it move, give him something—he was almost there, balancing right on top of it, and the pit was so close it burned under his skin. His brain couldn’t catch up with the intensity and his breath came in sharp, desperate gasps, ragged and utterly wild.“Daddy, daddy, daddy,” he was whimpering, repeating it like a mantra. He wasn't even sure he wanted to come anymore, he just wanted to get off that ledge, for his body to stop whatever it was doing, to get away from that place between ecstasy and something else, something maddening.He clung to Remus like a lifeline, sinking his nails in his arm and trying to stop twisting and clenching down on the plug. His body was betraying his mind, running after that release and not listening to his mind telling it to stop. It moved on its own, hips jerking involuntarily, trying to find friction, but Remus held him firmly in place.“Breathe, baby,” Remus whispered again. “You don’t have permission. You’re a good boy, and good boys listen to their daddies, don’t they?”Sirius whimpered but nodded as his body trembled and jerked less and less, mind winning over the need. Sirius was helpless to obey Remus’ commands, that was the key. He belonged to Remus, and Remus could do anything he wanted with Sirius’ body and mind.It took a few long minutes, but Sirius finally calmed down, his breath evening out with Remus’ words and soft touches. He opened his eyes, blinking quickly as he stared into Remus’.“There you are, my love,” Remus whispered, pressing a light kiss on Sirius’ temple. “You did so well.”Sirius nodded weakly, barely able to move as Remus coaxed him into a sitting position, gasping when the plug moved, slick and spearing deep inside of him. The leotard lay neatly folded on the bed beside him, and Remus picked it up, holding it in front of him. Sirius stared at him, at the way Remus’ eyes filled with adoration as he studied the garment, how he shifted the same adoring gaze to Sirius' face.“Let’s get you dressed, eh? Big night tonight.”Sirius blinked at him, mind still a bit hazy, and just nodded again, raising his foot for Remus to take. Remus dressed him slowly, carefully. It made Sirius’ heart flutter in his chest, the utter care behind the gesture mixed with the idea of wearing something Remus chose for him, something he picked to make Sirius look and feel beautiful. He felt adored and owned at the same time, like somewhat Remus was making dressing him up a ritual of its own, with delicate movements of his fingers and palms, tender hands on his skin that shortened his breath.The crotch was the most dangerous part. The zipper had a layer of protection of its own, but Sirius was hard, painfully so, and the vibrations of the zipper closing made his cock twitch under the latex.“Gotta stay still, baby,” Remus commented, pulling the zip off of the sensitive skin. “We wouldn’t want to pinch that pretty cock, now, would we?”A flush heated up his face as he shook his head, trying to keep as still as he could. He did not realise his eyes were clasped shut in concentration until Remus' hands on his cleft made him jump. “Daddy—”“Be still,” he ordered, fingers finding Sirius’ plug. “I’m going to push it. Ready?”He did not wait for Sirius to respond and just pressed hard on the toy, sliding it deeper and closing the zipper. The toy stayed there when Remus took his hands away, and Sirius could not move.“It’s perfect. You’re perfect, baby,” Remus whispered, adjusting the neck and brushing his fingers down to his waist. His eyes followed the lines of Sirius’ body, which shivered under his hands as he pressed his fingers in the fat of his hips, grabbing and groping, making Sirius much more aware of how exposed he was. The leotard hugged his body tightly, it stuck to him like a second skin and put everything on display for Remus’ eyes and everyone else’s.“Everyone will look at you tonight,” Remus whispered against his neck, pressing a soft kiss to the side of his jaw. “But they won’t know your little hole is stuffed full under all this, will they? They won’t know how desperate you are.”Sirius whimpered, his head falling on Remus’ shoulder. The latex pulled tight against his skin as he shifted with Remus’ hands, laying flat on the bed again as Remus moved his legs to get them into his new miniskirt.“Please,” he whispered, barely able to form the word. He didn’t even know what he was asking for, all he knew was that he needed something. To relieve the tension, to keep the plug still—anything.Remus chuckled softly, pressing down on the bite marks he left on Sirius’ legs. “Patience, baby. We’ll get there.” The Moonshine pulsed with heavy bass, the red lights flashed in sync with the pounding of the music casting shadows across the room. It looked like it always did, but new knowledge made it appear completely different to Sirius’ eyes. He saw them there—pins, necklaces, bracelets and collars sporting the emblem all around the club, most of the bartenders wore it themselves and Sirius had never noticed it before.Remus had told him in the car, explained to him that he wanted to reopen the establishment as a fetish club when he inherited it, but his mother changed his mind, suggesting to him that he should strive to be inclusive, not exclusive.“It was such a gut punch, the word used like that,” he had said, stroking Sirius’ thigh. “So I kept it inclusive, and dedicated specific nights to specific… tastes.” That year, Moonshine’s birthday fell on a Wednesday, and Wednesdays were kink nights. “It’s our anniversary, though, so we’re prepared to have a mixed crowd anyway.”“I had no idea,” Sirius had told him, squirming when Remus’ fingers pressed on the bruises on his legs.Remus had hummed and pressed harder. “I thought you knew. You always come on Wednesdays.”“Because you’re always there.”And that night, Sirius was too, but he was aware. He recognised his kin, with tight latex and collars, and Remus’, with unyielding grips on thighs and waists. And he saw the symbols all around him, starting with Remus’ wristband and landing on Benjy’s choker and Jules’ harness.Remus kept his hand on the belt of Sirius’ skirt, fingers hooked under it to keep him close when Sirius was too taken by the movements of the plug to keep his legs going. Remus had ordered him to stay by his side as they made their way through the club, greeting people Sirius didn’t know who looked at him up and down and commented to Remus how pretty he was, how well behaved. Sirius’ head was starting to swim, each interaction made him more and more aware of the large intrusion and how it nudged and twisted against his prostate with every step, and by the time they made it to the VIP section he was almost out of it.“Colour, my love.” Remus’ voice reached him from afar, the hand that was tracing his groin still against him as if waiting for his answer.“M’green, daddy,” Sirius murmured, looking up to see a woman in front of him.Fingers pinched hard at the thin skin of his groin and Sirius whined, looking back down to her slick black heels.“Good baby. What did I tell you in the car?”“Be good a-and—and…”“And?”Sirius swallowed, rubbing his legs together slightly. “A-and remember my place.”“Very good, little love,” Remus praised, placing a kiss on Sirius' hair.“You taught him well, Remus,” the woman said. “Is he yours? Or do you just play with him?”Sirius whined miserably at the question, pressing against Remus’ side as if worried Remus would forget that he owned him. When he chuckled, Sirius slid his fingers to his groin to press on Remus’ bite.“He’s all mine. Sorry, Agatha.” Then he stepped away from Sirius, leaving him untethered. “Show Agatha your new clothes, little love. Turn around.”When the words registered in his brain, Sirius’ knees buckled and it took all of him to stand straight, grateful that he had to look down so his blush wasn’t noticed. He could hear people muttering, and Sirius hoped that maybe a small crowd formed around him when Remus promised to show him off. His body moved before his mind could catch up, turning slowly to give Agatha and anyone else who wanted it a full view of his outfit.He could feel the air under his skirt and it seemed like every movement made the fabric flutter, exposing him for people to see. Each step he took moved the plug inside him, and the chance of anyone seeing it under the thin fabric of his leotard made him clench down and whimper quietly.“Gorgeous,” Agatha murmured appreciatively, her voice smooth like silk on Sirius’ skin.Remus’ hand slid possessively under his skirt and found its way back to his groin, staking his claim to everyone watching. “That he is,” Remus said, pressing himself on Sirius’ back. “What do you say, baby?”“Thank you, daddy. Ma’am.”Agatha laughed and gasped delightedly, stepping closer to talk to Remus. “Oh, Rem. You gotta tell me your secret. He’s so sweet, my Rio is never this polite. I can never take her out with me.”“I just like to show him off,” Remus responded, shrugging a shoulder. “And he likes to be on display, don’t you, little love?”“Look at him squirm,” Agatha cooed when Sirius pressed his legs together again. He moaned softly, subtly rutting the end of the plug against Remus’ leg. “He loves the attention.”“That he does,” Remus chuckled in his ear. “But he’s also so, so shy. Isn't it right, my love?”Sirius nodded, hands clenching and unclenching at his sides as Remus’ fingers played with the hem of the body, dipping under it and brushing on his cock. He gasped and tried not to fidget as he twitched under the tight fabric, the murmur around him increasing as Remus and Agatha talked about him like he was just an accessory piece at Remus’ arm, so pretty that he had to show him to everyone they met.“Sirius,” Remus’ voice was commanding, forcing Sirius’ brain to focus. “Eyes on me.”Sirius’ gaze snapped up to Remus immediately, the crowd, the lights, the music melted away as he stared into his eyes. There was just Remus, and the quiet authority in his voice that sent shivers down Sirius’ spine. Sirius wanted nothing more than to please him, to let Remus parade him around as he wished.“Good boy,” Remus murmured, his fingers moving to trail down Sirius’ inner thigh and press on his bruises. “Now, be still and let them look at you.”Sirius’ head spun, and all he could do was pant and nod as he lowered his head again. The world outside of Remus’ orders was a blur, but he didn’t need anything else other than knowing Remus was proud to have him on display, of owning him.The lights around them blurred into soft glows and painted Sirius’ pale legs in ethereal hues. He could see the bruises on them, the stark contrast with his skin heightened by the colours he was bathed in. He ached to press on them, but he stood as still as his trembling body would allow, hands hovering nervously by his sides, unsure of what Remus wanted him to do with them. “Widen your legs, love,” Remus ordered, and Sirius did.The shift made the plug inside him feel bigger, more present, twisting the tight knot of arousal in his belly as it pressed over his prostate and it stubbed so deep into him he could feel it in his stomach. Sirius exhaled shakily, trying to relax even though he felt eyes on him—not just Remus’ and Agatha’s, but more and more each time he breathed. He wouldn't dare look around, he wouldn’t dare disobey Remus' orders so blatantly; a part of him desperately wanted to know, though, he wanted to see their faces, wanted to see if they liked him too. Sirius knew he was pretty, he knew he looked sexy, but he wanted to make sure they knew it too.“Eyes up. Come here.”Sirius looked at Remus’ impassive face, taking unsteady steps towards him. His step faltered when he heard a comment to his right, eyes darting towards the sound for only a moment. People were really watching. People were watching him behave for Remus and they loved it.Remus’ hands were warm on his waist, they were fire as they trailed down his back and reached under his skirt to grab a handful of Sirius’ arse. A finger pressed lightly on the plug and Sirius’ knees almost gave out, buckling as Remus pressed on the rigid toy.“I must say,” a man's voice sounded behind him. Sirius couldn’t focus enough to hear all the words. “—beautifully. He’s glowing.”Other voices joined the first, and Sirius gasped as Remus’ fingers twisted and turned the slim base of the plug.
“He was born for it.”
“So lucky—”
“Very pretty, indeed.”
With a firm grip on his waist, Remus turned him around and pressed his chest on Sirius’ back. Sirius had a moment to see the people gathered near them before he lowered his head again, but Remus fisted his hair and pulled his head back up.“You can look, baby,” he growled in his ear. “Look how much they love to watch you.”Sirius did, gaze darting from face to face. The VIP section was crowded with people, most of them were dancing to the pounding music while watching him with hungry eyes. Agatha was to his left, a hand on a beautiful girl’s crotch as they watched him intently. Sirius whined and blushed down to his chest at being admired so openly, and he pressed back on Remus’ chest to keep himself upright.“I’m going to make you come right here, love,” Remus hissed in his ear. “Colour.”Sirius shook his head, mortified at the idea. “Daddy,” he whined under his breath.“Colour, Sirius,” Remus asked again, twisting his nipple through the bodysuit.The sharp pain hit him hard in his navel and his cock jerked, leaking precome on his skin. Suddenly, he did not need to think it through. “Green, daddy, green green green.”It was all Sirius managed to say before Remus pulled up his skirt and unzipped the section over his arse. His fingers grabbed at the base of his plug to hold it taught against his rim, and Sirius thought he was going to pull it out and take him right there, or that he’d fuck him hard with the plug, or anything—anything but that.There was a pause, then the whole length of the toy came to life inside him, vibrating against his walls. Sirius did his best to stifle a scream as he jerked, Remus’ strong arms around him kept him on his feet and he clung to him, delirious already as he tried to breathe through the shock.“Da-daddy, oh god, please,” he whispered, turning to hide his face in Remus’ neck. Remus clicked his tongue and fisted his hair again, turning him to face the room and clicking on the base of the toy once more. The vibrations intensified, and the tip of it started to rotate deep in his core, and Sirius felt his mind slip away from him. It felt like everyone was looking, though the club around them felt somewhat far away, the pulsing music a distant sound compared to the movements inside him. The low thrum of the bass reverberated on the floor and Sirius’ skin, and he knew deep down that it wasn't possible, but he was sure he could hear the noises of the plug over the music.He stumbled when Remus gently pushed him forward, towards the dance floor, his dazed brain unable to supply instructions on how to walk when the incessant stimulation of the toy seemed to melt his insides. His body was fighting against the intrusion, at times trying to push it out but it only ended up pressing the wide bead against his perineum, sending shocks of deep, painful pleasure through his bollocks.“You wanted to dance with me, little love?” Remus asked him when they stopped.A loud moan escaped him when Remus pressed himself behind him again, and Sirius nodded even if he couldn't hear the music anymore. In his brain was static, white noise as he let Remus move him, hands roaming all over his body from his neck to his weeping cock, pulling up the skirt to rub his palm over it.Sirius sobbed as he let Remus do whatever he wanted, half-lidded eyes drifting over the faces around them, some watching them, some taken by their own thing as they moved pressed to each other.It felt good—better, it felt right to be like this with Remus. It felt right to dance with him, it felt right to let Remus decide what to do with him right there in the middle of the club because he wasn’t just showing Sirius off, he was showing the world how much he owned him, how every part of Sirius belonged to him. Remus was the one who held him, who guided him through his pleasure because he owned that too. And Remus wanted Sirius to come.So Sirius came. In the middle of the dance floor, surrounded by people watching him, he came with a loud cry, throwing his head back on Remus’ shoulder and fucking himself back on the toy. Remus moved it inside him, slowing down his thrusts, making Sirius feel each vibration, each rotation of its tip inside him. His cries seemed to echo through the room, mingling with the bass of the music to make a whole new song as his release spread warmth under his leotard.“Good job, baby. Good fucking job,” Remus growled, biting hard on Sirius’ neck. “So pretty, so good for me. They loved watching you come, did you see?” Sirius cried out again when Remus moved the toy to press on his prostate, and his cock spurted another dribble of come. “Everyone’s waiting for another one, baby, come on.”Sirius’ eyes widen in panic. “Daddy, please—”“Colour.”“I can’t, Daddy, please…”“Colour, Sirius,” Remus repeated, stopping his movements.“Ple—” A sob interrupted him. He dropped his head on Remus’ shoulder again, before admitting quietly, “G-green, daddy.”With another click, Remus sped up the toy’s movements, and Sirius' entire body shook with it. He gasped, trying to get air in his lungs as he felt the vibrations in his bones. It didn't take long for him to come again, accepting the pain and giving his all to Remus' hands and will.Sirius shuddered, his body hypersensitive and tender, aching with the plug lodged so deeply inside of him bringing him to the edge again and sending him into a painfully long orgasm. His legs gave out for a moment, but Remus held him tight to keep him upright. The vibrations continued to pulse through him, pushing him further and further, but all Sirius could focus on was Remus’ arms around him, the way his breath ghosted over his skin, the sting of his teeth in his flesh.Thinking became too hard, so Sirius gave up altogether, surrendering his mind to Remus as well. All of him was at his mercy, each movement, each sensation directed by the man behind him, holding him up and making him walk, guiding him with expert precision. And when Sirius came again, it was all-encompassing, a physical and emotional unravelling, completely released in Remus’ arms. Sirius clung to him, whimpering and crying as he shook with overstimulation.“Sit with me,” Remus ordered gently.Sirius obeyed immediately, gasping as he sank down on the sofa with unsteady legs, the cold leather a lovely contrast against his burning skin. The plug still worked inside of him, and the unrelenting pressure made him roll his hips, zipper grating against the skin of his arse.“Oh, sweetheart,” Remus cooed beside him. Sirius looked up, dazed and confused. “Are you desperate again?”Sirius blinked at him, then nodded. “Yes, daddy. M’sorry…”“Nothing to be sorry about.” Remus pressed a kiss on his mouth, and Sirius moaned loudly, pushing himself up to kiss him deeply. “Can you hold it for me, baby?” Remus asked in his mouth.Sirius nodded again, resuming his movements. Remus hummed, turning his head to look at the rest of the table. Sirius did not even notice they weren’t alone, focused as he was on fucking himself. His cock twitched and he moaned quietly, recognising a few faces. Agatha, the back of his brain supplied. “Hello,” he whimpered.“He’s really so polite,” a man said. Sirius nodded, then looked at Remus again.Remus hummed and nodded too, taking a sip of his drink and threading his fingers through Sirius' hair. “He’s very good, yes.” He turned to Sirius then, and he smiled when their eyes met. “Aren’t you, little love?”“Yes, daddy—oh!” His breath hitched as the toy’s movements sped up, a jolt of pleasure running through him painfully.“Did you mess up your toy, baby?” Remus asked, a small, playful frown pulling at his lips. Sirius watched them intently, unconsciously copying Remus’ expression. “Do you want to show your toy to your friends?” A whine escaped him as he nodded and watched as Remus smirked at him. “Go on then.”With a deep exhale, he stood, gripping at the edge of the low table when the plug shifted. He stood there, unsure of what to do. Daddy didn’t—he didn't tell him how. Sirius hesitated, then looked at Remus for help.“What is it, baby?” Remus asked.“Where—how—” Sirius tried with all of him to string a coherent sentence together. “Help, daddy…”A few people cooed at him, and Remus just smiled. “I think with your knees on the sofa, little love.” Sirius nodded, climbing on the sofa and turning his back to Remus, but as he dropped onto his hands, Remus’ chuckle drifted to him. “You have to show them, baby, not me.”Sirius’ face heated up at his words and he turned, resting his chest on the back of the sofa instead. He barely registered the words behind him as the toy pressed on his rim, narrowing his focus on the stimulation and Remus. A hand stroke the back of his leg, while the other tugged the zipper down and pushed the fabric aside, exposing his hole to the room.A cry of shame rose in Sirius’ throat and he lowered his head, unable to conjure up an image of himself in that moment. The table’s murmurs reached his ears, voices thick with appreciation and praise, and though he couldn’t make out any word, he felt all of their gazes on him, brushing on his body and setting it alight, making him clench down.Then, Remus’ hand closed on the base of the plug and he pulled, and Sirius cried out as the huge bead tried to stretch him open from the inside. He clenched down involuntarily, shaking with the vibrations under his skin. Huffing, Remus pressed the toy hard inside of his rim and Sirius’ body pushed reflexively, the squelching noise of the lube humiliating and loud in the noisy room.Remus pulled on the toy again, the glide easier than before and Sirius felt tears run down his face as the largest part of the ball stretched his hole. It was much worse like that, Sirius’ muscle clenching and pushing at it to get it to move, to stop the vibration from racking through him like electroshock.“Take it—take it out, daddy!” He slurred, eyes rolling in the back of his eyes. “Please! I’ll come—can I come? Please, pretty please…”“Not yet, baby,” Remus said, pushing the ball back inside. “Hold yourself open.”Sirius did as he was told, and wailed when the bead nestled over his prostate, legs shaking violently under him. Remus didn’t give him any time to recover, he just pulled at it again, stopping the bead halfway and twisting it, then pushing it back in its place, over and over again.The murmurs around the table grew louder as Sirius sobbed, tears streaking his burning face. His mind was dazed, the overwhelming need to be good the only thing that remained clear and sharp. He arched his back, pulling himself open to make Remus proud and give his friends a good show, body trembling as he bent a bit more, trying to give them a full view of the most hidden parts of himself.The warmth of Remus’ hand moved up and down his thigh, comforting and full of love, as his low voice spurred him on. “Look at you, little love. They're loving the show, saying you’re pretty and a good boy,” he murmured in his ear.Sirius was looking at Remus, eyes unfocused but Remus’ image was clear in his mind. He stumbled over his words but kept trying, feeling the visceral need to tell him, “Love you, daddy.”Remus placed a kiss on his shoulder, “I love you too, little love.”Then he smiled wickedly, and pulled the plug out of him in one smooth motion. Sirius’ wail seemed to reverberate through the walls as his body clenched at the sudden emptiness, shaking uncontrollably to starve off the orgasm threatening to crash through him. He felt raw, exposed—gaping. Every nerve in his body hummed as the voices raised behind him, delighted and joyful, filled with admiration and praise that Sirius’ brain did not register. He sank his nails in the meat of his cheeks, his whole world filled with just Remus, the bruising grip on his thigh, the beaming smile and the soft words making him sink deeper and deeper.“You’re so good, my love,” Remus purred in his ear, running the tip of his fingers along the stretched rim of his hole. “You did so well. Look at them, they’re all so impressed.” Sirius did look back over his shoulder, though through his haze he could not focus on any of the faces. “They’re so proud of you. I’m so proud of you, my love.”Sirius panted, a fresh wave of tears welling up in his eyes at Remus’ words. The room was a haze of shadows and indistinct forms, but none of it mattered one bit, the only thing that truly was important was the overwhelming feeling of Remus’ pride.“I’m so proud of you,” Remus repeated softly, wiping away a tear with his thumb.The tenderness in his voice made Sirius tremble under Remus’ gaze, and he cried out, so happy and grateful because that was worth everything, pleasing Remus and making him proud was what Sirius was made for. Remus had picked him to own and Sirius had made him proud, and it was so good, it felt so unbelievably right.Sirius buried his face in Remus’ neck, shaking with sobs, his voice barely more than a whimper. “Thank you, daddy,” he managed to murmur, his voice thick with emotion.Remus stroked his hair gently, picking Sirius up and moving him to sit on his lap as he murmured soft words. He stroked down Sirius’ crotch and dipped three fingers inside him, widening his legs to give himself better access. Sirius felt the tip of his finger on his sensitive walls and whined, trying to rub his hard cock on Remus’ arm.Remus chuckled. “You can come now, baby,” he said, pressing the plug all the way inside Sirius.It was all that it took. Sirius’ body surrendered to Remus’ will with a strangled gasp, orgasm ripping through him with such intensity that Remus had to hold him tight to keep him from falling to the floor. Sirius moaned and he whined into Remus’ chest, feeling every pulse of pleasure rock his body and slow down time as he mindlessly rutted down on Remus’ hand. Sirius’ movements were instinctual, primal as he rode the plug with no shame, clinging to Remus and losing himself in his scent.“Don’t stop, daddy, please,” he yelled, trying to fuck himself harder. “So good, so good, please—”“I think you have one more in you,” Remus said, turning the plug on.Sirius was lost, floating in the haze of bliss as he rolled his hips, trying to make the plug move, trying to fuck it into him hard the way he needed it. Suddenly, the solution found its way through the fog.“Daddy please fuck me,” he sobbed, placing little kisses all over Remus’ neck. “Please, I love you so much, please can you fuck me with my toy? Can you?”“Is that what my little whore needs?” Remus taunted, his fingers tracing lazy circles on Sirius’ twitching cock. “Look at your friends, Sirius. Tell them you need your daddy’s help, ask them if you can have it.”Tears streamed down Sirius’ face as he blinked, looking ahead at the people sitting with them. He could hear wet sounds, low groans and quiet whimpers, but he couldn't see any of them, his mind couldn’t focus long enough to understand. He opened his legs to show them what he needed, hoping that they could read it in his face, in the desperate movements of his hips.But nothing came, nobody spoke. Some chuckled, others moaned, which made Sirius feel good because it meant they were liking his daddy’s show.“Can I—” Sirius gasped, his cheeks burned with shame. “Can I have my daddy’s help? Please?”Around him people cheered and cooed and Remus laughed quietly behind him, the rumble of it dripping down his spine. Sirius rolled his hips harder, crying, desperately begging for anything they could give him.“Such a good boy you have, Rem,” someone murmured. Remus’ fingers trailed down the arch of Sirius’ chest, stopping just above the swell of his prick pushing against the fabric of his bodysuit. He gave a firm pat on it, making Sirius jolt. “But will you be able to take it, boy?”Sirius nodded frantically, his hair falling forward to obscure his face. He didn’t care about the audience, he only wanted Remus to move, to use him, to let him be consumed by the pleasure that only his daddy could give him.“Yes, Sir, anything—I’ll take it,” Sirius breathed, his voice cracking. “Promise, just… just please.”A woman leaned in. Her dark skin was glowing under the lights, and she looked like a fairy when she smiled. “You’ve been so good, pet. You can have your daddy’s help.”Sirius sobbed, “thank you, ma’am, thank you thank you,” falling from his lips as he looked at her. His throat was dry, his brain was mush. He couldn't form other words beyond those, only pulled out of him by a visceral need to be obedient.He rolled his hips again, and Remus finally moved, meeting Sirius’ hips with his hand and pushing the plug as deep as it would go. Sirius howled as it moved inside him, sliding down Remus’ chest to take it and take it and take it, crying when Remus pulled the whole thing out and fucked it back in harshly.Shocks of pain melted into the waves of pleasure each bead brought him, popping into him at a rhythm too fast for Sirius to comprehend. Remus was grunting behind him, his hard cock pressing on Sirius’ back twitched with every wet sound pulled out of Sirius' body. He rested his head on Remus’ chest, mouth wide open and panting and just looked at him. His eyes were focused, his jaw clenching with each stab of his arm, and Sirius thought it was the most beautiful sight he’d ever seen.Sirius’ hips buckled and twitched to chase the brutal rhythm Remus set, each thrust sending jolts of lightning through his whole body. He couldn’t stop the tears from falling, he couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t close his mouth to stop the mindless babble falling out of it through the pants and moans. The ridge of the beads caught at his rim less and less, the wet, squelching sounds shooting agonising pleasure through his limbs and clenching his navel, overstimulation making him tremble but he couldn’t stop—couldn’t, he couldn’t.He was gone too far, his mind was floating in a beautiful place, so calm and lovely, where Remus’ voice called him his favourite whore and told him he was pretty. Where his free hand cradled his arsecheek to gloat to his friends, to show them how much of a good toy Sirius is for him. Such a good baby, “Such a good pet.”Sirius sobbed again, overcome by the praise as he leaned into Remus’ chest for support. Maybe he should answer, he was very polite, very well trained, a very good hole for his daddy to play with. He wasn’t sure if his body was still moving, or if Remus’ hands were guiding him.It didn’t really matter, though, did it? He was good, so good. That was all that mattered, all that he needed to be.Nothing else existed, just the hard push of Remus’ hand and the gentle rumble of his voice, the world slipping further away as Sirius became something made of obedience and raw need. His head lolled against Remus’ chest, breaths coming in ragged and shallow. He couldn't understand if his eyes were open, and he wouldn’t focus on anything if they were.Everything was just shards of bliss, Remus’ voice warm against his skin,
good boy
my little love
so pretty
Sirius was unravelling, falling apart as his body shook. But his body wasn't his anymore, not really. It belonged to Remus and Remus only, it was something for Remus to use, for him to play with and mould into what he wanted.It was just that—he was just that.Through the sobs, Sirius couldn’t stop the smile that stretched his lips, euphoric and delirious, wracked by a pleasure that had no beginning or end, only a constant, overwhelming flood that drowned him in his daddy’s care.
beautiful baby
so sweet
The words echoed inside him, his whole existence shrunk to Remus’ hand guiding him into the abyss, filling him to the brink with every push and pull, love wild and overflowing.His lips quivered, desperate whines escaped his throat. His mind was too far gone to understand what he was even begging for, but his body knew, and it chased each movement of Remus’ hand, clenching and releasing, shaking as an unbearable pressure grew deep inside him.
let go, little love
His body obeyed Remus’ command. The pressure snapped, and Sirius shattered in his arms.He convulsed, each tremor was a wave crashing over him that dragged him deeper and deeper into that sublime abyss.Remus kept him grounded through his thrashing, holding the plug in place as Sirius clenched around it and milking every last surge. His hips buckled mindlessly, his body instinctively chasing for more even when he couldn't think through the pleasure anymore.He gasped for air, the blissful smile still on his face as he kept crying and babbling incoherently to Remus, maybe thanking him, maybe saying how much he loved him. He had no idea. His body felt weightless as it floated somewhere far away, following the bewitching sound of Remus’ voice calling him good and sweet and his little love, and Sirius couldn't stop the choked, breathless giggle that escaped him.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
The plug quickly became his favourite toy.Really, there was no competition with his own toys. It was almost unfair of him to even put them in the same category for the number one spot. He only had regular, uninspired dick-shaped ones, usually those that were on clearance on his beloved website. And they did their job, of course. But he had had a taste of excellence.The plug was glorious, a masterpiece, a godsend—the Beyoncé of sex toys, if you will.Since that night in Remus' club, it had taken up permanent residence in his life and in his arse: whether he be with Remus or alone, the plug would make an appearance and leave him drooling and very satisfied.Christmas had come and gone, with its mandatory snow, dinners and one too many mince pies, but the real highlight of that year's festivities was the four-hours-long scene with Remus and The Plug™.Sirius had to say, once or twice, he wondered if Remus would be jealous of all the attention Sirius was giving to The Plug™ or if it was weird that he loved it so much. But Remus quickly dismissed those thoughts, both with words and with actions.He made him wear The Plug™ to go out on dates, switching it on right before entering the restaurant. He made him wear it during a dinner with their friends, where Sirius spent the evening sitting in front of James talking about whatever he talked about while Sirius had to focus on staying still while the tip of The Plug™ mercilessly rotated deep inside him.One time—the best time, if Sirius was honest—Remus had put his collar on Sirius and ordered him to wear The Plug™ to bed. It had started completely innocent, but he woke up in the middle of the night because it had sprung to life inside him, ripping him from sleep desperate and leaking, and he had to wake Remus up to beg him to let him come. Remus had denied him until dawn, then fucked into Sirius right next to The Plug™ and sent him back to bed.The Plug™ was also the reason why he had to readjust his soft limits list, because waking up to its vibrations, or regaining consciousness after fainting from sheer ecstasy with it still pulsing inside him, had to be the best feelings he’d ever felt.“Baby, I did not understand a word,” Remus said, stopping his chopping to send a confused glance at Sirius’ burning face.Fuck’s sake, he did not want to repeat it. He cleared his throat, then cleared it again.“I, um..." He squeaked as even his ears started to burn. "I wanted to—that is, I need to… change the-Ineedtochangethelist.”“You need to change the list?” Remus asked, frowning.Sirius almost exploded. “Yes, the—ugh, the sex list thing that we did!”Remus snorted loudly before deciding to be rude and chuckling in Sirius’ face. Sirius retaliated with a deserved punch on his shoulder.“I’m sorry, my love,” he said, pressing his lips together. “I got that; I meant to ask what you wanted to change.”“You can read it on the list when I change it.”“Actually,” Remus started, looking pensive for a moment before going back to the lunch. “I wanted to pitch it to you the other day. I think we should upgrade it.”Sirius stared at the back of his head, silent.“I only mean that the one we used is very basic,” Remus continued. He dropped the sliced mushrooms in the bowl and stirred the salad, clearly thinking through his next words. “It was a good starting point, but I think we’ve gone a bit beyond that now, don’t you think?”Sirius cleared his throat, trying to starve off the blush he’d been sporting for the better part of the conversation. Surely the list could not be that basic if it had ‘public scene’ in it? How could that be something a newbie would think to do? Sirius wondered, for the first time since they started sleeping together, if Remus had written down the list himself or if he found it somewhere, and then horrifyingly, he wondered if Remus had used the list with someone else, too.“What do you mean basic?” He found himself asking. He followed Remus to the table with shaky hands. Was Remus bored? “It’s—you don’t like it?”There must've been something in the tone he used because Remus dropped the bowl on the table, walked back to Sirius, and held his hands to his chest before Sirius had the time to blink. He brought him to the table and sat him down before speaking.“I love everything we do together.” Remus’ tone broke no argument. He stared into Sirius’ eyes as he continued. “I love you, and I would love you even if we never had sex again, my love. I would love to do vanilla with you, even. What I mean is that I think we’ve grown out of the beginner step. We’ve explored things I didn’t think we would so quickly, and you’ve opened up in ways I wasn’t expecting when I made the list.”A flutter of warmth enveloped Sirius’ chest at the raw honesty in Remus’ eyes, and he marvelled at the way his love dug deeper roots between his ribs every day. “So y-you don’t want to change everything?”“No, sweetheart,” Remus said, smiling. “I just think we could be more specific, add a few things to get to where we’re at now and maybe some above that to see if you’d go there.”“Why is it always me, though?”Remus raised an eyebrow, amused. “What do you mean?”Sirius squirmed a little in his chair, blush coming back at full force. “It’s always about me and what I want to try and do and—what about you? Don’t you want to, I don’t know, try stuff?”“You’re still discovering what you like,” he replied. “I’ve done this before, but you’re new to all this, and it can be overwhelming if you don’t pace yourself. What excites me is watching you explore and love what we do as much as I do.”A small smirk stretched on Sirius’ face. “You get off watching me? Perv.”Remus laughed loudly, and little lines formed at the corner of his eyes. Sirius thought of kissing them so many times in the months they’d been with each other, and just the thought of that, the fact that he had seen those laugh lines so many times, made him smile too. He really loved that man so pathetically.“I do.” Remus leaned in to kiss his lips softly, and Sirius sighed, happy. “You’re a gorgeous sight, my love. Do you want to do the list now?”Sirius shook his head and sniffed, reaching for the bowl and serving himself some lunch. “Not in front of my salad.”He couldn’t help but smile when Remus laughed again, satisfied. “Alright. We could make it fun, too, what do you say?” He should’ve said no. He really, truly should’ve said no.Instead, Sirius had said yes, and two hours later, he was naked and collared, standing at the head of the big table in Remus’ living room. His Adam’s apple caught on the leather when he swallowed, and he had to focus on leaving his cock alone.Remus was rummaging in the cabinet under the telly, still in his joggers, humming a song under his breath as if this was an everyday occurrence and he didn’t just position Sirius’ ankles to be cuffed to the table legs. Sirius couldn’t see what he was doing; his back covered Sirius’ line of vision, but he could hear the ruffling of paper and the way his humming pitched up almost as if asking himself if whatever he picked up was what he was looking for.It took him a few minutes, but eventually, his humming ended in a triumphant “Aha!” that startled Sirius behind him. Remus turned, clutching a folder in one hand and two pens in the other, and sat down in the chair closest to Sirius.“Here they are,” he said as he opened the folder and took out a few printed spreadsheets. “This one’s yours, pet.”Sirius blushed, and the table cluttered when he tried to close his legs. Remus chuckled and reached out to straighten the glasses in the centre. “None of that now. You agreed to this.”“Yes, well…” He cleared his throat, rolling his shoulders back. Somehow, Remus still looked so much bigger than him, even sitting down. “I didn’t think you meant this.”“Ah. But I am, as you cleverly stated, a perv.” Remus chuckled. “Now, elbows on the table and let’s go over the new list.”Sirius tried to avoid thinking about how he looked as he bent down at the waist and dropped his elbows on the table. For some reason, the living room table was lower than his hips. “So I can eat sitting on the sofa”, Remus had told him once.He felt ridiculous, embarrassed and exposed, bending like that, enough for his cheeks to part, and he knew Remus loved every second of it. Hell, Sirius loved every second of it. It was humiliating and degrading, and his cock was hardening so fast that it left him lightheaded.“Do you want to do this together?” Remus asked, placing a pen in his hand. “Or should we do it alone?”“Together, please,” Sirius muttered, looking down at the paper for the first time. He squeaked when his eyes landed on ‘swallowing urine’, and deliberated that yes, the previous list was fucking basic.Remus tapped the end of his pen against the paper, showing Sirius as he spoke. “You’ll write your favourite name here. Then here,” he pointed at a list next to Sirius’ empty name box, “You’ll circle the names you’d like to be called and cross on those you don’t like.” He turned to look at Sirius in the eyes, raising his eyebrows. “You do not have to justify it. If you want to tell me, good. But if you don’t like it, then that’s it. No judgement and no pressure, alright, baby?”With a nod that was everything but convinced, Sirius stared down at the paper. He put the pen down in the box, hesitating before writing ‘little love’. Even writing it down sent a flutter in his stomach, his mind conjuring Remus’ smooth voice whispering it in his ear. His breath hitched, so he moved on to the list of words.‘Whore’, ‘slut’ and ‘pup’ were circled without hesitation, along with ‘princess’, ‘hole’ and ‘breeding bitch’, though they did make him squirm in place. He circled a few others, and he crossed out ‘surname’ and ‘fatty’ so harshly that he almost broke through the page.“I, uh, I’m done,” he said a few minutes later.Remus smiled at him and brought his hand to the back of Sirius’ thigh, stroking soothingly up and down. “Very good, love.” He kissed Sirius’ cheek and chuckled when Sirius turned to kiss his mouth. “Eager pup. We have to continue our list.”He placed the tip of his pen on the paper while running his fingers on the inside of Sirius’ thigh. “For each of these, you will put a number between zero and three—zero means that it’s a hard limit, something you absolutely don’t want to do. Two means we can negotiate it, and three means you like it. You can also put one, which means it’s a soft limit, or you don’t know if you’ll like it. If you rate it one, you can tick this box here,” he pointed at a box that said ‘forced’, “and that means you’ll try it only if I force your hand, though we will stop immediately if I hear ‘red’ or your safeword.”Sirius swallowed hard, feeling the collar tighten a bit as he adjusted his posture. His eyes skimmed over the suggestions, and he shuddered as he scribbled a zero next to ‘arm/leg sleeve’. Then he frowned, looking at the following one. He didn’t have breasts, so he skipped it. He put a three next to ‘blindfold’ and all the ‘bondage’ selections, though he zero-ed ‘cages, cells, closets (locked in)’ with a terrified inhale. Remus passed a soothing hand on his leg at the sound, but Sirius could see him in the corner of his eye, concentrated on his own list.It took him a while to go through the whole thing, and his heart skipped a beat when he finally got to the ‘somnophilia’ section, though he glowered at it for being responsible for the predicament he was in. He put a three next to it nonetheless.Remus had finished his list well before he did, Sirius had felt his eyes on him for the last two sections, quiet and patient as Sirius rated most of the lines.“What happened with these, love?” He asked gently, pointing at the blank spaces on the page.Sirius shifted awkwardly, feeling the sting of his elbows where they were resting on the hardwood of the table. “I, er… didn’t rate some because I don’t know what they mean.”Remus hummed, leaning over to scan Sirius’ list. “Which ones confuse you?”“Figging, for one,” Sirius mumbled.“Ah…” Remus paused, pursing his lips together to keep the smile from forming. He did not succeed, because Sirius could see his smile in his eyes. “Figging is when a piece of ginger is peeled and inserted.”“Inserted?!”“In your bum,” Remus said, nodding. He brought a hand to the tip of Sirius’ cock, and Sirius’ knees buckled when he pressed down on the opening slightly. “Or in your little cock, too. It burns quite a lot, I’ve been told it’s very intense.”The squeak Sirius let out was one he would be embarrassed about forever, high and loud in the silent room. Remus chuckled as he let go of Sirius’ cock. “I—maybe it’s a two?” Sirius whispered, mortified. He wrote the number down. “What is ‘golden shower’?”“A golden shower,” Remus said, his tone dropping to a sultry whisper, “is when someone urinates on you.”“Uri—okay, okay, zero,” Sirius squealed, picking the pen up. He pressed it to the page, then hesitated. “Uhh, maybe a one.”Remus didn’t say anything about his change of heart, only smiled at him. Sirius put a big, fat zero next to the brown option—he didn’t ask Remus what it was, but he could guess.“And, uh… there’s the-the enema one,” Sirius stammered. “I don’t understand.”“What don’t you understand, my love?”“I—it’s…” He took a deep breath when Remus’ hand found his skin again, tracing lightly over his calf. “If I like when I do it? Because I do it, I mean I have to, but…”“If you’d like me to administer one to you,” Remus explained, putting Sirius out of his misery. “I would fill you up for either punishment or cleaning for depth play, or just for my own amusement.”“You’d do that?!” Sirius whispered, scared of anyone in a ten-kilometre radius hearing their conversation.“It’s about you, love,” Remus said, amused. “You write if you like it or not, or if you want to try it.”‘Enema’ stared back at him just as hard as Sirius was staring at it. His stomach flipped at the thought, the idea of that happening in the way Remus said made his mouth go dry. He did that to himself all the time, it was disgusting, even if he always did it quickly and efficiently, it was for practical reasons.How could it be a bloody sex thing too? And it would involve Remus—Remus! It would feel weird, it would look weird, so invasive, scary even.Mortifying.His cock gave a traitorous twitch at the thought of him on his knees for Remus, murmuring soft words of encouragement and hand lazily stroking Sirius’ full belly as Sirius squirmed and cried beneath him, overwhelmed by how invasive and humiliating it would feel to be filled so completely—Sirius clenched his fists, face burning as he looked back to the list. It sounded uncomfortable, but his twisted brain could see the twisted appeal. An embarrassing part of him was curious, longing for Remus to take that too, and the thought should make him panic, but… maybe… if he was forced…Sirius swallowed and before he could second-guess himself, he scribbled shakily his answer; ‘one,' 'forced’. He barely had the time to put the pen down before Remus’ voice broke through the whirlwind of emotions in his head.“Good boy,” Remus murmured in a low tone, scanning the paper and nodding to himself.The praise sunk deep into Sirius’ skin, warming up his chest, but he didn’t get a chance to dwell on it because Remus stood up so abruptly the chair scraped against the floor, making Sirius’ heart race. Remus stepped behind his open legs, and Sirius’ guts contorted in shame when Remus just stared as if evaluating his private parts.“Read through your list for me,” he ordered quietly. “Then mine.”The firmness of his voice was more threatening than it had any right to be, and Sirius shivered as his cock jolted against the table. He opened his mouth to respond but gasped loudly when Remus’ finger pressed against his hole, slick with what had to be spit.“Don’t make me repeat myself, love,” Remus warned.“A-arm/leg sleeve, zero,” Sirius started, voice breaking when Remus circled his rim. “I don’t have b-breasts so—”Remus’ hum interrupted him, and his hand slid from his hip to his chest. “You don’t,” he said, twisting Sirius’ nipple and pulling a whimper out of him. “You have these pretty little tits instead, don’t you? Go on.”“Blindfold a-and bondage, three,” Sirius moaned, eyes hardly focusing on the page in front of him with Remus’ fingers playing with his sensitive parts.The hand on his chest left to keep him open when the saliva dried on his hole, and Remus kept staring and rubbing it, pressing the pad of it down on his entrance and sending ripples of pleasure down Sirius’ spine. Sirius went on reading through his list, and the more he read, the more his face burned, and his cock drooled thinking of Remus and the sight he had in front of him.The list seemed to go on forever, and Remus kept tormenting him with that single finger, pressing in just enough to make Sirius squirm but never quite getting inside. The teasing was unbearably arousing; it made it harder to concentrate with each passing second, reducing Sirius to a mess of jumbled words and whimpers.“What does the next one say, baby?” Remus asked him at one point, removing his finger from his entrance to show him one line.“It—oh!” Sirius gasped as he felt something dribble down his crack, followed by the tip of Remus’ cock. The contact made his knees buckle, and the edge of the table cut into his hipbones when he went down.“Read it, love,” Remus encouraged, resuming his rubbing.Sirius had to focus his eyes on the words, and they didn’t make sense in his head at first. When the meaning clicked, he moaned and pressed back on Remus’ cock. “N-no prep,” he whimpered.Remus chuckled darkly, pressing lightly. “And what number did you put there, pup?”“Three,” Sirius gasped.It hurt. It hurt so much that Sirius screamed when the head of Remus’ cock popped inside of him, the intense agony shooting up his spine and locking him in place, body instinctively clenching down on the intrusion to get it out. Sirius panted at the pain and the overwhelming wave of pleasure that exploded in his brain, the contrasting feelings blanking his vision and sending him straight to the edge.“Keep reading,” Remus ordered softly.The tears in his eyes made it hard for Sirius to see the letters on the page, his scattered mind wouldn’t make him think long enough to make sense of the ink printed on the paper. He whined in frustration and forced his gaze to focus, but it didn’t help at all.
“Read, love.”
His legs tried to close instinctively when Remus slid deeper inside him with a disappointed tut. He was shaking, his body begging for more even if the pain throbbed through him. His hole was on fire, clenching and unclenching on Remus’ length, trying to accommodate all of him and failing miserably to relax.Then, suddenly, Remus pulled out, and Sirius wailed, hard and loud, as the drag sent licks of pain to echo inside him.“I give you a little cock, and you can’t follow directions anymore?” Remus growled behind him.It felt like Sirius’ whole body was in pain, the sudden emptiness making his hole throb at the loss of stretch. He wanted it back desperately, he wanted to be filled again, he wanted it to hurt so bad that his cock twitched against the table.“I’m so—I’m sorry, Daddy!” Sirius cried. His voice shook as he tightened his grip on the page, trying to ground himself with the sound of it in his hands.“I believe you are,” Remus’ voice was calm. “But I’ve repeated myself three times, Sirius.”The use of his name broke down the dam, and Sirius started sobbing with his face on the table, tears rolling down his face. His breath hitched, and he choked on his words, on broken apologies and pleas of forgiveness. Remus did not fold, his gaze soft but firm, watching as Sirius slumped on the table and kept babbling, asking him to let him try again.Remus shook his head, then went back behind him and cupped his arse. “Can you take your punishment?” He asked, stroking him.“Yeah—yes, Daddy,” Sirius croaked. “Anything.”The hand on his arse slid down his legs and untied the cuffs on his ankles. When Sirius stood, Remus clasped the leash on his collar, and Sirius obeyed the unspoken command. He slid to the floor and crawled behind him, following the tug of Remus’ hand through the house. The cool floor against Sirius' knees and hands was a balm, calming slightly the heat blazing through his body but doing nothing between his legs, where his aching cock leaked on the floor.They got to the bedroom, and Remus tugged Sirius up by the leash, pulling him to his feet. Sirius wobbled, his legs weak, and kept his eyes down, waiting for instruction.“Hands on the bed,” Remus said. “Legs spread.”Sirius moved as quickly as his heavy limbs would allow, placing his palms on the mattress and spreading his legs, leaning forward to leave his arse exposed. They’d done it already a couple of times, and Sirius was shocked by the difference between being spanked with a paddle and being spanked with a hand. The first one was ecstatic, something that could make him come if done long enough. The second, though—it felt chastising, like a real punishment.It was the only way to punish a masochist, that was what Remus had told him, so smart and clever. Because Sirius liked the pain, he liked it when it hurt so much he would scream. So, he had to improvise and find ways to get the message across. And they found that a harsh tone and hand spanking did the trick, and Sirius had behaved as perfectly as he could.Remus undressed but didn’t touch him, and the silence stretched so unbearably long and buzzed on Sirius’ skin. The need for contact, the absence of Remus’ hands was driving him mad, and he could feel Remus’ eyes on him, assessing, waiting for him to break position.When he didn't, Remus’ voice finally cut through the silence. “You disobeyed me three times, pup,” he said softly, stepping closer. Sirius exhaled, grateful for the return of his name. “That’s thirty spanks. Ten for each time I had to repeat myself. You’ll count them. Repeat it back to me.”“I-I disobeyed,” Sirius repeated in a sad whisper. “Thirty spanks, t-ten for each time. I’ll count.”Remus hummed, and Sirius whimpered softly, his heart pounding in his chest. He braced himself, his hands curling into fists against the bed as he waited.The first strike landed hard on his left cheek, a sharp, loud smack that echoed in the room. Sirius gasped, his body jolting at the sudden sting, and the burn spread through him instantly. “O-one, Daddy,” he whispered, his voice shaky.The second came down just as hard on the other cheek. Sirius whimpered, the pain sharper, his arse already beginning to throb uncomfortably. “Two, Daddy.”For the whole dreadful time, Remus settled a steady rhythm, each smack deliberate and perfectly placed, giving Sirius just enough time to register the sting before the next one. By the time they reached ten, Sirius’ body was quivering, his legs threatening to buckle from the intensity of the pain but his mind was resolute on not disappointing his Daddy again. His cock twitched between his legs, leaking steadily onto the bed beneath him.The throbbing heat in his arse sent sharp pulses of sensation through his body, and each hit seemed to rekindle the pain in his hole. He swallowed dryly between ragged gasps, trying to steady his voice as Remus kept going.“E-eleven, Daddy,” he choked out, his knees bucking as Remus’ hand connected with his already tender skin. Remus just brought him back to his position and restarted where he left off.The next few spanks came faster, and Sirius’ cries grew louder. By the time they reached twenty, Sirius was a shaking, sobbing mess, the pleasure and pain blurring together in his mind until he could barely remember what he was being punished for. Remus’ breath was short like he was tired, and Sirius hoped he wouldn’t slow down.Remus didn’t slow, didn’t ease up. His hand came down harder for the final ten, pushing Sirius to his limit. By the time they reached thirty, Sirius was barely able to stand, his legs trembling violently, his body drenched in sweat. His arse burned, the heat radiating out in waves, and his cock throbbed painfully, dripping with arousal.“Thirty, baby,” Remus said softly for him.Sirius let out a shaky sob, his breath hitching as he slumped forward onto the bed. The punishment was over, but the ache in his arse and the emptiness inside him made him want to curl up in bed and cry. He needed his Daddy’s cock, he needed the grip of his soft hands as he fucked him, he needed it so badly.When Remus touched his back, Sirius keened and grabbed him, pulling his hand down towards his mouth to kiss it desperately. His whole body felt like an exposed nerve, every inch of his skin screamed for Remus’ touch.“You took that so well, my love,” Remus shushed him gently, sitting on the bed and resting Sirius’ head on his legs. “Such a good boy, taking all of them. All is forgiven, now.”The words washed over Sirius like a balm, easing the ache in his chest and clouding his mind. He whimpered softly, curling his legs and shifting closer to Remus, pulling his hand towards his skin—any part of it, his shoulder, his arm, his back. He was so sensitive, his skin felt so raw that he moaned when he passed Remus’ hand on his nipples.“Shh,” Remus soothed, leaning down to place a kiss on Sirius’ shoulder. “You did so well, pup. You’ve earned your reward. What will it be?”Sirius’ mind swam with possibilities. He wanted it all, he wanted to cuddle with his Daddy and sleep, he wanted to choke on his cock, he wanted his Daddy to make him come. But most of all, he wanted his Daddy back inside his hole, he wanted his come dripping down his thighs.“Please,” Sirius croaked, his voice broken from the crying, all the begging. “Daddy please…”Remus chuckled softly, fingers ghosting over the crack of Sirius’ arse. “What is it, my love?”“I need—please, please I’ve been good,” Sirius begged, mind reeling with the emptiness. “I’ve—can I have your cock? Please?”“Where do you want it, little love?”Sirius moaned at the words, breathless and longing. His whole body was wracked with a need so fierce it clutched at his lungs. He needed Remus to fill the horrible void inside him, to stretch him open and make him whole again. “I need you, Daddy, please,” he begged. “I-I can’t take it anymore.”With a hum, Remus stood from the bed, and Sirius scrambled to put himself into position again, spreading his legs obscenely so his Daddy could have a good view. His fingers grazed Sirius’ swollen rim, barely touching it, but it was enough for Sirius’ entire body to convulse in response. “Oh, baby… What is it you can’t take anymore? My cock? You don’t want it?”“Please!” Sirius sobbed as his cock spurted precome on the side of the bed. His heart pounded so fast in his chest that he feared it might explode. His voice didn’t sound like his anymore, bent and twisted with distress. “Need it inside me, Daddy! Need your cock—need to be full, need my hole full, please! I’ll be good I promise—I swear it!”A hand fisted his hair tightly, and Sirius screamed, legs closing as his cock jolted dangerously close to that edge. Remus pulled at his hair and bent him backwards, pressing his skin onto Sirius’ throbbing arse. Remus didn’t say a word, and each second that passed was pure torture, unravelling his mind from sheer despair.“I promise,” Sirius cried, pressing himself on Remus. “I’ll do anything. Please, Daddy, I’m so empty—I need it so bad, I can’t—I’ll be so good, so tight, Daddy!”“Can you stand?” He asked. Sirius did not have to think of his answer.“Yes, yes Daddy I c-can,” he stammered.Tugging sharply, Remus pulled him to his feet, and Sirius staggered as his legs wobbled beneath him. His body was weak, overstimulated and desperate, but the primal need cursing through him kept his knees from collapsing. Remus guided him with a firm grip, making him stumble with every step as they made their way to the other side of the bed.“Look at yourself, my love,” he whispered, pulling Sirius’ head up. Remus’ full-length mirror was in front of him, and Sirius had to focus to even recognise himself. “See how desperate you are, how pretty you look when you beg for my cock. Beg, my love, and look at yourself.”The reflection looked at him through the haze, and he couldn’t believe his eyes. He looked wrecked, skin flushed and chest heaving, tears streaming down his face and cock dripping on his thighs. His eyes were glassy, and the sight of Remus towering over him made heat pool in his belly.“Daddy, please,” he whispered then, staring at his own face. His lips were chewed cherry red, and the blush spread down on his chest. “Oh, god—Daddy please, give me your cock!”“Hmm,” Remus smiled at him in the mirror. “Open your legs and spread yourself.”Sirius complied immediately, hands gripping at the tender flesh and exposing himself as he tried to balance on his shaky legs. He moaned as he was turned around. “Look at your little hole,” Remus said, brushing a finger on it.When Remus turned Sirius’ head, his eyes locked on the swollen entrance, and he moaned high in his throat. It was red and clenching helplessly, begging like he was for something inside. The pale skin of his hands stood out against the bruises on his arse, and the way Remus’ colours spread on his skin made him itch with the need to paint.“Poor little hole, so empty,” Remus cooed, pushing the tip of his finger inside. “All that begging, and nothing in it yet.”Sirius whimpered and clenched on Remus’ finger. “Please, Daddy… I need it bad, please!”Remus’ long finger slid deeper, twisting and crooking and fucking in and out just slowly enough to leave him shaking and more desperate. “Can’t decide if I should make you watch yourself or your hole,” he mused, pulling his finger out and reaching for the lube. “Make it wet, baby. That’s all the prep you get.”Sirius’ fingers shook as he poured the lube on his palm and reached for Remus’ hard cock. He stroked it gently, reverently, as he looked at it in the mirror. It was so big, so beautiful in his hands. He kept his grip still as Remus fucked into it, moaning softly at the thought of the glorious length splitting him open.Remus stopped moving in his hands, and Sirius poured more lube on his hand and brought it behind himself. The coolness of it against his clenching hole sent a shiver through him, and he watched as his reflection taunted him, body strung tight with need, barely holding together as Remus watched him with his hand still in Sirius’ hair.Each touch made his cock twitch painfully, flush and dripping on his stomach as he spread lube around. He barely registered the moans escaping his throat as he rubbed slickness all over his entrance, breaths short and shallow.“That’s enough, I’d say,” Remus stated. “As pretty as you look, I want to fuck you now.”Gasping, Sirius turned back to face the mirror, following the direction of Remus’ unrelenting grip. He opened his legs, reaching back to spread himself again, earning a breathy “good boy” that sent a ripple of warmth down his spine.The thick head of Remus’ prick rested on his hole and Sirius had to fight every instinct in him to keep his eyes open, but Remus didn’t press inside. He held Sirius’ head up and teased his rim with kisses, pushing his cock and taking it away, until Sirius sobbed.“Daddy,” he whined, lips wobbling miserably. “Please, Daddy fuck me…”Smiling, Remus kissed his shoulder and pressed in hard enough to breach him. Sirius’ mouth dropped open and he keened, his eyes crossing in the mirror and losing focus on the reflection.“Eyes on yourself, my love,” Remus groaned, pulling harshly at the grip in his hair. “I want you to see what I see.”Though his vision swam, Sirius forced his gaze back to the mirror. The burn of his Daddy’s cock was so exquisite, pushing him to the brink of his tolerance as it stretched him so. That was what he craved, what he’d been begging for. His breath hitched as he watched the tears fall from his eyes, at the way his mouth stayed open even if he tried to close it.“Good, baby.” Remus forced himself a little deeper, and Sirius gasped in delicious pain. “You’ve been begging so sweetly for it, so desperately.”Sirius’ lip trembled, a high-pitched whimper escaping him as Remus pulled out just enough to make him ache before pressing back in with slow, deliberate force. Sirius’ muscles were on fire, screaming with strain as he tried to keep his legs straight under the shocks of excruciating pain shooting up his spine. But Remus’ grip kept him steady, and he was so thankful for it.He shifted his gaze to Remus’ reflection, so strong, so commanding, so big behind him that it looked like he wanted to break Sirius in two.“F-fuck, Daddy,” Sirius choked out. His cock was leaking so much that his stomach was drenched, and a line of precome dripped down to his bollocks. “I—oh god, I need you—more please!”The way Remus loomed over him, so tall and broad, made Sirius feel small and utterly powerless, helpless against the will of a man like him. Every inch of Remus’ cock made Sirius see, the stretch so overwhelming that he didn’t know if he could take it—yet he took it before, and he couldn’t imagine being without it. Remus filled him so completely, and Sirius’ hole was made for him.“Daddy hurts!” Sirius resumed his whimpers, his voice a shattered plea. “I can take it all—I’ll be good, I swear I’ll take it, just—more, please!”Remus growled softly behind him, and his eyes locked with Sirius before he thrust his whole length inside. Sirius screeched at the stab of pain that made him lock up every muscle. Remus’ cock was so thick, it shouldn’t fit inside Sirius’ little hole, but somehow, his Daddy made it fit.He could see it in the mirror, his belly was swollen, the fullness making Sirius feel like he was going to burst and made him dizzy, just watching his Daddy’s cock moving inside him.“Daddy!” Sirius yelled, delirious. “Daddy it’s too big—too deep! Oh, it hurts! It hurts so good!”“But you wanted it so bad, baby,” Remus said, pulling out and thrusting back in harshly. Sirius watched him move in his belly—down and up and down again. “You were crying for it, begging for Daddy’s cock.”“Yes, yeah, Daddy, thank you,” he let out in a choked sob.“You like that, don't you?” He asked, looking at Sirius in the mirror. “You love that I stretch you so much, don’t you, baby? That I’m so much bigger than you are. My hands, my arms. My cock.”Sirius nodded, tears blurring his vision and lips parting in a choked sob. He felt the drag of Remus’ cock on his walls, and it threatened to send him to the ground, legs unsteady under the force of his thrusts. His mind was blank, wiped clean and replaced by his Daddy and his cock.“Ww—Daddy fuck me so good,” Sirius mumbled incoherently, unfocused gaze fixed on the mirror. “Hurts so—so deep Daddy, it’s so good… feel it in my belly—in my throat…”Remus chuckled darkly behind him, bringing one big hand on his belly and pushing down. “Here?”The pressure was the final straw for Sirius’ legs, and they collapsed under him, driving Daddy’s cock deeper inside him, spearing him open as his hands kept him up. Sirius’ whole head hurt in Remus’ grasp, limp body almost dangling from it.But then—then Daddy’s hand let go of his hair, but before Sirius’ head could fall, Daddy wrapped his hand around Sirius’ throat, holding him steady as he fucked him. Sirius wailed, desperate and wanting. He wished he could speak the words, he wished he could ask Daddy to hold him still and wreck him, he wished Daddy would just close his fist on his neck and choke the air out of his lungs.“Yeah baby?” Daddy asked. Sirius did not know he had the words, but somehow he had asked. “Do you want Daddy to hold your little neck?”“Yes, yes please,” Sirius begged, clenching down on Daddy’s cock. “Please, Daddy, please please.”Daddy just laughed and flexed his fingers on his little neck. Daddy’s hand was so big that Sirius could feel it going all the way around.Then he closed his grip, and Sirius’ world tilted sideways. His vision blurred at the edges as the pressure of Daddy’s hand grew around his throat, warmth flooded his body and made everything else fade away. His Daddy owned him so completely, filling him up and choking the air out of his very lungs, and it was exhilarating.In front of him, the image of himself greeted him, and he was the most beautiful thing anyone had ever made. His Daddy’s cock moving inside him, his flushed little prick slapping against his stomach, his Daddy’s hand enveloping his neck, his red face lit up in ecstasy. Daddy made a masterpiece out of him, and he was so happy, so lucky.Thoughts slipped away, there was nothing to be worried about with his Daddy so close, his voice in his ear, his touch everywhere, on his skin, in his brain, inside his body, driving Sirius mad with pain and pleasure. The lovely haze was like a blanket, and he almost went to sleep under it, but Daddy took his hand away and gave him back his air.“No, Daddy, please!” Sirius moaned, his body instinctively arching, pushing against the grip on his neck. “I’m—please don’t let me go! I’m yours, I’m yours!”The world around him dimmed and Sirius mewled at the intoxicating rhythm of his Daddy’s cock inside him. Every thrust was a symphony of ecstasy harmonising with his Daddy’s pants and grunts and the sound of his hole opening for him.Daddy’s hand closed on his throat again, and Sirius was the centre of the universe. He was a supernova waiting to explode and create new life from the core of his body, from the marrow in his bones. Because Daddy had him in his hands and Sirius could do anything.How had he gotten so lucky? That was all he’d ever dreamed of—a love so fierce, so enormous that it coiled and twisted around him and took away his breath. A hand on his throat that gripped so tight, it pulsed with Sirius’ very heartbeat.And it showed, there, in the mirror. His flushed face, the tears and the drool that wet his face and painted him with love. His Daddy’s hand cradling him so completely, keeping him nice and still for his cock to fuck him so well.Behind him, Daddy looked wild, chewing at Sirius’ jaw and whispering sweet things into his ear, calling Sirius his little love, his little hole, so tight and warm, so good for him.When Sirius breathed again, Daddy said he was a good boy.Sirius gasped and coughed, sobbing in Daddy’s arms. Fire consumed him from the inside, from his raw, battered hole to the tip of Daddy’s dick punching into the centre of his navel, unrelenting in its sweet torment.The image they made, his Daddy so tall and holding him up as Sirius almost hung from his cock was melting his brain. He could feel Daddy so deep inside him—he could see it, right there inside his tummy and he held onto Daddy’s arm pressing on his chest. He sunk his nails, he scratched at Daddy's muscles to leave the mark of his love like Daddy did all the time, painting his skin red and purple.Lately, those had been the colours Sirius loved the most on his body. His Daddy created so many masterpieces on him, out of him. It left him blissfully lost in euphoria, swimming dazedly as he followed him to the sea.“I love you so much,” his Daddy told him. “I love you so much, my little love. Look at you. You’re stunning.”“Daddy…” Sirius moaned, the sound spilling from his lips filled with awe.His throat was held again, so tight that he knew Daddy never wanted to let him go. And Sirius didn’t want it either, he wanted to never breathe again, he wanted to clench on his Daddy’s cock and step into that darkness.“I want to watch you come, my love,” he said, holding him tighter. Sirius’ heart raced, each beat echoing in time with the thrusts that filled him. They didn't hurt anymore, but Sirius was fine with that, because his hole ached in the most perfect way when he clenched around his Daddy. “Just like that, baby. Come for Daddy, let me see.”The hand closed on his neck and Sirius’ mouth opened wide instinctively, trying to breathe, starved for air. Sirius knew he didn’t need it, the only thing he craved was Daddy’s love pushing and pushing him into that abyss.The tension in his belly tightened and snapped, and Sirius watched as his little cock shot white on his stomach and added to Daddy’s beautiful art. Electricity hummed through him and he tried to scream and wail and moan, but Daddy’s grip was keeping it all locked inside him.“Look at that, my beautiful baby,” Daddy murmured. His heavy breath tickled Sirius’ pulsing cheek. They were looking at each other and in his head, Sirius was yelling I love you, Daddy!He was a bit embarrassed, but he was also proud of making his Daddy look like that, so untamed and fierce, so taken over by desire that he was biting down hard on Sirius’ shoulder again and again.“Can you give Daddy one more?” He asked. He let Sirius breathe again and nod, then took his air again. “I want to see you come again, baby, you’re so beautiful.”Sirius tried to nod, but he was drowsy. He knew he could come again, he could already feel it building inside him because his Daddy asked it to, but he knew the dark would take him if he did. Sirius was okay with it, he wanted it even. But he didn’t know if his Daddy wanted it as well, and Sirius was made to do whatever his Daddy desired.Then, he understood. His Daddy knew everything, his Daddy was the ever-present moon in Sirius’ sky. If he let it happen, it meant he wanted it like that. So Sirius let go of all the questions and the worries because he wasn’t meant for that sort of thing.It was building in his tummy, a pressure so exquisite that it felt like Sirius was going to explode in a million pieces. His prick was soft there in the mirror, it didn’t even twitch. It just hung cutely between his legs, unused, as his Daddy made him come from deep inside.Sirius couldn’t breathe when the wave came, harsh and unyielding, crashing into him like a storm against the shore. It overwhelmed him, pulling him under and making his body tingle as the agonising pleasure surged higher higher higher. Colours swirled together, the darkness grabbed at him softly as Daddy fucked faster into him and let him go.Every thrust felt like a lightning strike, the storm raging inside him lulled him like a lover. And Sirius, heavy and limp, succumbed to it as it made him go to sleep and wake up and go to sleep again.And when he breathed, when he gasped air into his aching lungs, he wailed in pain and bliss as he came again, and it made him go to sleep and wake up and go to sleep again.When his Daddy came inside him, the storm cleared and the skies opened, and his Daddy made a masterpiece inside him too. When Sirius woke up again, his Daddy lowered them to the ground and spread open Sirius’ legs.“Look at your little hole,” he said.The mirror was so close, and Sirius watched as his little hole opened and closed, raw and full with Daddy’s cock. It was enchanting, magnificent to see how much his Daddy had stretched him open, so much his little hole was tender and red around him. Sirius knew in his soul that it wouldn’t close on its own anymore.As his Daddy pulled out, Sirius felt a rush of emptiness, a horrible sound signalling his Daddy leaving.Devastated, Sirius watched as Daddy’s come dribbled right out of him. He was so sad to see it go, that was his, he had earned it inside him.“N-no,” he whimpered. He didn’t want it to go, he needed it.But Daddy chuckled behind him, a deep, soothing sound that rattled Sirius' bones.“I want to watch it come out, my love,” he murmured, collecting what Sirius had lost. His fingers pressed against Sirius' raw little hole, pushing his warmth back inside him. “I will fill you up again later, yeah?”And Sirius couldn’t do anything but nod, because his Daddy wanted to watch, so Sirius wanted to as well.In the mirror, Sirius’ hole fluttered around Daddy’s fingers as they fucked it. It was glistening and sore, pulsing as it tried to close. Daddy’s fingers moved with practised grace, pushing warmth that had spilt from him back in lovingly and Sirius felt an overwhelming urge to hold on tightly even if he let his Daddy play with his toy.“You’re so full, my love,” Daddy whispered in his ear. Another finger pushed inside him and Sirius whimpered as his little hole sent shivers of pain all over his body. “So pretty. You take all of me so well, pet.”Then, Daddy’s fingers stilled deep inside him before pulling his hole upward. The tightness gave way, and Sirius felt himself opening to the world, slick and tender flesh shining as he beheld himself for the first time.Sirius finally wailed, watching as his core moved with him, leaking Daddy’s come on the floor. He could almost feel the scorching heat of his insides, the molten wave of his love setting everything ablaze.“Watch it, baby.” His Daddy was breathless, staring at Sirius’ hole in his hand. “You look so pretty, so open for me, dripping with my come.”The reverence in his voice brought Sirius deeper into the haze, the way his Daddy looked at him, eyes dark with hunger and wonder, made his heart swell. Sirius had never felt more beautiful in his life than at that moment, with his Daddy’s eyes fixed on him, his fingers steady and possessive as they held him open for his gaze.The soft trickle of his come sliding down Sirius’ slick muscles seemed to carve a path—the way to joy and wonder as it claimed him. His hole pulsed in an offering of love and devotion, as it helped Daddy’s come in its journey, showing his Daddy how good Sirius could be, all of him.Opened and dripping the sacred warmth, Sirius felt jubilant, elated with a heady sense of accomplishment. The vulnerability of being laid bare before their eyes ignited a fire of love within him that spilt out of his eyes.With his mind swimming, Sirius cried radiant tears. He was filled with glee, a profound sense of belonging and rapture shaking his very being. All that existed was his Daddy and the way he cherished him, held him, made him feel so incredibly alive.He was his Daddy’s little love, his Daddy’s perfect hole. His masterpiece.As he lay there, he saw. He was glowing from the inside out. He was a canvas painted with their love and he knew, without a doubt: he would always want to be Daddy’s beautiful, dripping masterpiece.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
“Argh! You fucking arsehole!”“If you stayed still—”“I don’t give a fu—aarghh! You fucker!”James sent him a glare that threatened to burn him to ash, and pulled the wax off Sirius’ skin with unnecessary violence.“Motherf—”“I dare you to finish that word, Sirius Orion Potter!”Sirius gritted his teeth and did not finish the word. He clutched the towel James had given him, claiming that it’d help with the pain if he bit down on it. The stupid towel didn’t help at all—the whole process was torment, mortal and never-ending, something only a fool would subject themselves to.And Sirius was a fool.The process had never been that painful at the salon, where the girl used fancy wax and soothing words as if she was negotiating with his skin for compliance. There, in James’ impromptu Wax Layer—their bloody kitchen table—Sirius felt more like he was on the receiving end of some sadistic medieval torture.Right there, suffering James’ wrath, he marvelled at the power of Remus’ existence and wondered how he could get a stiffy when his Daddy whipped him and, at the same time, wished he could carve out James’ eyes for a wax strip.“Last one,” his merciless executor said.Sirius scoffed. “You’ve said it four times already. This better be it.”James hummed as he pressed the strip down on his groin. The vision of Remus’ imaginary face at the sight of his body was the only thing that kept him going, a lifeline in the world of agony that his supposed best friend had created. He could endure. He would do it for his Daddy.“On three,” James said, gripping the end of the strip. Sirius sucked in a breath in preparation. “One…”He saw James’ wicked grin a second too late. With no consideration for Sirius’ life, James pulled hard at the strip and with a tremendous noise, ripped off the hair from Sirius’ skin.Sirius gasped in pain and suppressed the instinct to cover the offended skin with his hand. With a soft thump, his head hit the table, a stream of expletives falling out of his mouth uncontrollably. Sirius decided, laying in agony and despair, that he was going to wait for James to fall asleep that night, then he’d take the kitchen scissors and cut off his testicles. He’d even send a card to Lily, apologising for the annoying yet perfectly vengeful inconvenience.“There, there,” James cooed sarcastically. He poured some oil on the paper and passed it over the offended skin, hands delicate and careful. “It’s done, that really was the last one.”“Oh, joy,” Sirius exhaled, bringing two fingers to his neck to check his own pulse. “I have succumbed to my injuries. Please delete my search history.”James laughed and stood, gathering the used strips and empty sticks of wax. “If you die from this, I will print it out and give it to everyone at your funeral.”Against his will, Sirius laughed. “You wouldn’t dare, Potter,” he said, squinting at him.“Wouldn't I?” James shot him a smirk over his shoulder as he tossed everything into the bin. “That’s what best friends are for. Pete will make the pamphlets, and I’ll hand them out.”Sirius groaned, letting his head fall back onto the table as he kept complaining under his breath. Best friends his beautiful, hairless arse, that would be the highest form of treason, it would bring dishonour to his whole family line.“You’re a prick,” he said, standing shakily from the table. “Do you have any idea what I’ve gone through? Remus better worship the ground I walk on.”James turned to him with an eyebrow pulled so high, it almost touched his hair. “He already does,” he deadpanned, shaking his head. “The man looks at you like you’re responsible for the air we all breathe.”Ah! Sirius loved that game! The listening-to-people-talk-about-how-cute-him-and-Remus-are game. It filled him with warmth and pride—and a not-so-small amount of self-importance—every time he heard people talk about them, whether Sirius asked or not. It made him feel fuzzy inside to hear from people who had never seen them together that Remus and he were cute, or that they were hot.Even in Pete’s oblivious eyes their love was obvious, based simply on the way Remus looked at him. When Remus and Peter met, Sirius was surprised by the instant confidence they shared, with Peter buying Remus a pint and Remus offering Pete a job after he told them that he lost the old one because he punched a homophobe.“I didn’t even mean to,” Peter had said, the tip of his ears reddening. “He just kept going and going, and then he said that to Holly and I just punched his stupid nose.”Sirius and James had howled in laughter, until Pete, with a miserable expression on his face, told the table that the guy was the nephew of his boss and the act of public fucking service had him sacked.“They can’t do that!” James had been outraged, already halfway through the speed dial list to call his father. “It had nothing to do with work, they can’t fire you like that!”Peter just shook his head, turning the half-empty glass in his hands. “It was the lunch break. The lawyers explained that because we punch in the break, it’s technically work hours even if I’m not in the building.”“Shit,” Remus had whispered. “Did they put it in the justification?”Peter shook his head again. “No, they couldn’t.” He grimaced, staring into the glass as if it was showing him the memory. “If they did, I could argue the dismissal for discrimination. It wouldn’t give me my job back, but it would leave the prick without it, too. But listen,” he added, turning to Sirius and tilting his head towards Remus. “Enough with my depressing life. Tell me all about this. Specifically, why does your face look like you won at life?”Sirius never saw what they saw, Remus always looked at him the same way, ever since they started going out—even before they made their relationship official. He had concluded, after careful deliberation, that Remus had probably been obsessed with Sirius just as long as Sirius had been obsessed with him.A shove towards the bathroom woke him from his reveries, and he turned to send James a glare, bracing himself on one of the chairs to keep himself upright.“Prick,” he mumbled under his breath.“What are you and Remus doing for Valentine’s anyway?” James asked, following Sirius into the bathroom.Sirius hummed, pulling off his underwear and stepping into the shower. He shivered as a rivulet of frigid water hit the skin of his calf and stepped back from the offending stream.“We’re going on a dinner date,” he said, glancing at James, who had settled onto the closed toilet. “He planned everything and told me to ‘just bring my pretty self’—verbatim.”James snorted, but the smile in his eyes was genuine, Sirius knew it intimately from witnessing the way they interacted. James and Lily had just worked from the start, with an ease that had taken Sirius by surprise: the way his best friend, so confident and cocky, would stumble over his words to string one coherent sentence in front of Lily had felt almost eerie in its dichotomy.With Remus, though, Sirius had to admit it had been different—strange. They’d slipped seamlessly into each other’s lives, like they’d always been there and for how strange it was, it filled Sirius with giddiness. Remus and Lily were older, they had real jobs and actual savings—they even talked like bloody adults. Yet James treated Remus as if they’d met behind old wooden desks at eleven years old.Sirius lathered his hands and ran them over his body, savouring the warmth as the water finally turned hot. He saw James watching him, his brow raised as if he could read Sirius’ mind. They’d talked about it several times, about how things felt different with Remus than they ever had with anyone else. It was scary to think about sometimes. Remus had taken such deep roots into Sirius’ life like he wanted to sink his talons into the soft of his ribs and never let go.Out of nowhere, apprehension clouded his thoughts.“D’you think he’ll like the surprise?” Sirius asked in a small voice, watching as the suds washed out of his hands.James huffed a soft laugh. “Pads, Remus is mental about you. He’d think you a vision if you walked in wearing a bin bag.”Sirius laughed despite himself, brushing the conditioner into his hair. “Yeah, just—he’s an actual adult. Like, responsible, yeah? He owns a club, has a plan and an entire cupboard of vitamins.”“Oh, dear,” James gasped in mock horror. “Not the vitamins!”With a withering look, Sirius flickered water towards him. “I think he likes to take care of things,” he continued, scrubbing his sponge on a particularly sticky spot on his thigh. “His flat, the Moonshine… he even has a bloody watering schedule for his plants.”“I can believe that,” James mused, resting his elbows on his knees. “Sounds like something he would do. I mean, I’m sure you figured out he likes having things under control.”“Oh, have I ever.” Sirius snorts, then indelicately splutters soap out of his mouth. “I don’t mind it.”In fact, Sirius loved it. Not just the obvious great sex life they developed in their relationship, but the way Remus organised his kitchen, the small, quiet rituals he carried through each morning and evening. How his gaze always lingered on Sirius on the couch as he watered the basil on the kitchen window, when he thought Sirius wouldn’t see him.The attention was constant, on everything. Especially on Sirius. It made him nervous sometimes, yet he craved it so, wishing that look would never waver.“He’s just better than me,” Sirius continued in a whisper, barely audible over the sound of the water. “He’s got his life sorted out and I’m just… forgetting to even book a slot at the salon for something I planned weeks ago.”Though his smile stayed steady, James’ expression softened. “Siri, he doesn’t care about that. He loves you, even if you don’t have a colour-coded calendar or living plants.” Sirius chuckled, and James winked at him. “You two balance each other out. That’s the whole point.”He wrung out his hair, letting the warm water run over his shoulders as he thought of James’ words. Remus did balance him, made him feel steadier on his own two feet and kept him grounded in his head—well, except for when he fucked Sirius so hard he pulled him out of it completely.He let out a huff, shaking his head and sending water everywhere. “How did you get so wise anyway? Lily knocked some sense into you?”James beamed with the force of a thousand suns. “You bet your sweet, smooth arse she did!”
“Jesus…”
A screech left Sirius’ mouth before he even registered the new voice. He jumped, shooting a hand out to clutch at the shower stool and keep himself from plummeting to the floor and probably dying. James, however, couldn’t find purchase on the sink and startled himself to the floor, taking his shaving cream and most of Sirius’ hair products with him.Lily looked unimpressed, leaning on the bathroom door. “You two are the strangest people I know, I swear to God.”Sirius clutched his heart, feeling the blood rush to his cheeks as he straightened up, trying to gather some dignity. “Respectfully, Lily,” he said, grabbing his towel and hiding behind it. “What the fuck are you doing, sneaking up on people in the shower?!”Lily crossed her arms, a glint of sadistic amusement in her eye as she watched Sirius struggle. “James texted me he was helping you wax,” she said. “I was worried he’d scorched you to death so I let myself in when somebody didn’t answered their bloody phone.”James grimaced, still laying on the floor. “Sorry, love,” he said. “Sirius was having a minor crisis and I left the phone in the kitchen.”An indignant noise rose from Sirius’ throat. “I only ever have major crises, Potter.”“I feel like it should surprise me that you watch each other shower,” Lily commented, almost to herself. “But somehow it feels obvious, like I should’ve known.”“We were not watching each—it was moral support!”James nodded, finally getting up from the floor. “As I said, crisis.”Lily rolled her eyes, but her lips twitched at the corners. “Right, of course.” She stepped inside and leaned against the sink, glancing at Sirius fondly. “About that… don’t get all wound up over it. Remus is completely gone for you.”A flicker of relief settled in Sirius’ chest. Shamelessly, he decided he’d trust Lily’s word over James’ for all matters Remus. “You think?”“Please!” she winked at him, then headed towards the door with a grin. “He’d still fall over his feet if you’d shown up with wax half-ripped looking like a plucked chicken. Now, hurry up if you want me to cut your hair.” Lily was a witch. A mage, a sorceress, or whatever it was called. For sure, she was wasted as a bartender with the magic she worked on Sirius’ hair.It had been on his to-do list for a while, but he never managed to pluck up the courage to actually book an appointment and do it. His hair had been the first bit of rebellion against his parents’ rule, and cutting it had somewhat felt like a betrayal of fourteen-year-old Sirius.Looking in the mirror, he discovered that he’d been betraying twenty-one-year-old Sirius instead, because he looked gorgeous. His freshly cut, shiny dark hair framed his face perfectly, falling in soft waves an inch over his shoulder.Modestly speaking, he looked edible, superb, neck-breakingly stunning.“Lilian, I love you to pieces,” he said, turning his head so and so to make his hair move. “This is—I beg you, run away with me and let’s live our beautiful, stylish lives away from the brutes we’ve chosen as companions.”Lily laughed loudly, brushing some hair from his shoulders with a satisfied grin. “As tempting as it sounds, I’m afraid it wouldn't work. You’re as gay as a rainbow, and I really do like James’ dick.”“But think about what we could achieve!” Sirius pouted. “We could have a fabulous life as a hair model and hairdresser—the world needs to see this, Lilian!” He exclaimed, gesturing dramatically at his reflection. “Who needs sex when there's world domination!?” The next day, Sirius was ready to buzz out of his skin as he waited for Remus to get there. Lily and James had only just left, and Sirius was already going crazy and creating problems from the depth of his beautifully groomed head. It surely didn’t help that Remus sent him a message half an hour before the agreed time to tell him that he’d be running a bit late.Sirius absolutely did not need the additional time to spend on critiquing each aspect of his appearance or finding imperfections that would not get fixed in the few minutes he had left. He should’ve ironed the dress better; any small crease would show on the satin (though he was quite sure the crease had formed once he put it on). Maybe he should’ve put his hair up, and surprised Remus with the haircut once they had time to do something about it. His eyeliner was slightly shorter on his left eye, he really should wipe it off and start over.By the time the doorbell rang, Sirius had nearly driven himself mad with revisions and second-guesses. He’d gotten as far as hunting down his makeup wipes, ready to redo the eyeliner for what would’ve been the fourth time.He buzzed Remus into the building and retrieved to the bathroom to put them away. He stopped right outside, looking once again at his reflection and sighing. New creases formed on the dress’s skirt, and the low light of the hallway made the emerald green look like ill grass on his pale skin.Just as he turned, Sirius caught sight of his side in the mirror, and his eyes trailed down, catching on the outline of the treasure under the satin. The lace edges of the garter belt and straps were just barely visible through the fabric if he moved right, the ridged raises of the garment forming a faint pattern on the silky material of the dress.And despite his endless nitpicks, Sirius smirked and winked at his reflection before walking towards the kitchen.“Lord—Jesus fucking—”Remus’ words stumbled over each other from where he stood just inside the door with eyes wide. He looked almost dazed, his mouth working soundlessly as he tried to find his words. His hands flexed on his thighs, which were clothed in a lovely pair of navy, tailored trousers that matched the vest he wore over a white shirt. Sirius wanted to take a bite out of him.He grinned, his stomach warming with the way Remus’ eyes travelled up and down his body. “You like?”“Baby, you—” he stammered, blinking rapidly. Then he whined—he whined! “Fuck, Sirius, you’re breathtaking… I—your hair, your dress—” His gaze followed Sirius’ hand as it trailed down his hip to the dress’s slit, and he inhaled sharply as Sirius gave the fabric a slight tug to the side. “Is that—are you wearing a fucking garter belt?”“I suppose you’ll have to find out.”The words barely left his mouth before Remus was striding towards him, eyes still fixated on the dress’s slit as if it held the secrets of the universe. It took him just three long steps to close the distance between them, and he held Sirius by the hips as he sank to his knees in front of him. Sirius laughed, delighted, allowing Remus to press soft kisses against his hipbone. “Oh, Moony,” he murmured, unable to suppress his joy at this reaction. “What’s the rush?”“Baby, I need to see,” he hissed, kissing Sirius’ navel. “I—please.”The word sent a rush of electricity through him. So this is what it feels like, he thought, giddy and breathless. Normally it was him on his knees, begging for Remus to do anything. He’d never imagined how intoxicating it would feel to be the one who was begged, how hot it was to see Remus trip over himself just for a glimpse.Oh, but that was a delicacy, indeed. Watching Remus falter and lose composure tasted like sipping the best champagne after weeks of stale water. Sirius smirked, leaning just close enough that Remus’ breath tickled his skin. Yes, he thought, I’d like to play tonight—let Remus work for every inch.With a gentle hand on his cheek, Sirius tipped Remus’ head back, bending to leave a kiss on his forehead and pulling away as Remus moved closer. “Come on, Daddy.” He sighed and pouted like only an experienced brat would do. “You promised me a fancy date.”Remus’ gaze darkened, and Sirius felt his hands twitch where they rested on his waist. He knew—from experience—that Remus was suppressing the urge to grab and take. The reversal was heady, a delicate balance that Sirius would have to play perfectly well, he’d have to resist Remus’ eyes even if they blazed with possessiveness and greed, the very things he loved feeling on his skin so much.Remus was at his mercy for once, and such power felt positively explosive.“I can’t believe I have to share all this with the world,” Remus mumbled. He placed another kiss on Sirius’ stomach before standing, hands still lingering on Sirius’ hips as if they were glued there. “You just look so good, my love, so fucking beautiful—hi, hello.”“Hello, darling.” Sirius smiled, feeling his resolve to tease melt a little at Remus’ small smile. He gave one in return as he tilted his head to let Remus kiss his lips softly. “You like the hair?”“I love the hair. I love you,” he replied, brushing a strand of hair behind Sirius’ ear. Remus traced his thumb over Sirius’ cheek, admiring him in that familiar, purposeful way that always made him feel like a god. “Can’t believe Lily kept you locked away, I’ve missed you.”Sirius laughed quietly, leaning on his chest and twirling one of Remus’ curls on his finger. “You've seen me yesterday morning.”“I miss you every second I don’t see you,” Remus huffed. He kissed him softly again, mindful of Sirius’ lipstick. “You could be in the other room, and I’d still miss you.”Sirius’ heart skipped a couple of beats at that, and he grinned, taking in Remus’ expression—open, adoring, as if he could spend the rest of his life standing there in Sirius’ living room. They stayed close for another moment, just listening to each other breathing and Sirius thought he, too, would gladly stay right there in their bubble for the rest of time.But then, Remus’ stomach growled loudly and they laughed, the sound breaking through the quiet a reminder of the world outside of their sappiness. Sirius snickered, stepping out of Remus’ arms and linking their hands together.“Let’s go, then,” he said, pulling Remus towards the door. “You need nourishment if you want to take this dress off of me.”Remus groaned, closing the door behind him. “Don’t. Lily kept me busy for the lunch break. Which was especially cruel since she knew what you’d be wearing tonight.”Sirius shook his head, still smiling. He winked at Remus when he opened the car door for him and climbed inside.The ride was nice, almost domestic with the way Remus told him about his hectic day, from the supplier who didn’t show and thus fucked up the plans Remus and the staff had for Valentine’s special cocktails, to the recounting of Lily and he running around east London to buy the last decoration for the club night. Sirius settled into his seat, careful not to disturb his dress too much as he listened to Remus’ smooth voice.Every now and then, though, Remus would pause, his eyes flickering over to Sirius, lingering. His right hand moved incessantly between the gear shift and Sirius’ thigh, settling a bit higher each time. “You’re gorgeous,” he murmured, almost absently, as if the thought had been waiting on his tongue and distracting him from his story.Sirius laughed softly. He’d heard it at least three more times since they left his flat. “So you’ve said, Moony.”“Can’t help it,” Remus replied, his hand drifting from the gear shift to rest on Sirius’ thigh once more. He kept his eyes on the road, but his fingers slowly slipped under the soft fabric of the dress, tracing along the lace band of the stay-ups.“Behave,” Sirius reminded him, though a small shiver travelled down his spine. He took in Remus’ appearance once again, eyeing the perfect fit of the shirt and vest as he turned the wheel. “You don’t look too bad yourself.”The deep navy blue of his vest made love with Remus’ olive complexion—with the green of Sirius’ dress too, honestly—and Sirius couldn’t wait to see the three-piece in its completion on Remus’ tall frame.Remus smirked as he caught Sirius’ appreciative glance. His hand moved on Sirius’ thigh slowly, savouring the smooth glide of the tights. “What? Already thinking of me out of this suit?”Before Sirius could answer, Remus took his hand away and stopped the car. Only at that moment, Sirius realise he still didn’t know where Remus was taking him.And thank God he didn’t, because he would’ve shut down the suggestion so bloody fast.“Remus, what the fuck?!” He hissed, careful to not be heard by the valet who was approaching the car. “You booked a table at The Ritz?!”The fucker grinned, feigning innocence as he handed the keys to the valet. “Yes, I did,” he whispered, pressing a quick kiss to Sirius’ forehead before opening the car door. “Only the best for you, my love.”Sirius gaped at his retreating back, barely managing a whispered response as he watched him round the car to his side. “You are completely mad.”Shaking his head, Sirius took the offered hand and climbed out of the car. As soon as he stepped out, Remus’ hand settled possessively on Sirius’ waist, guiding him forward with a quiet confidence that made Sirius’ knees go weak. He really hoped he’d manage to keep his prick in check—the long coat could only serve him as long as they were outside, and the thin fabric of the dress would do nothing to hide his depravedness.The lights of The Ritz cast a golden glow over them, Sirius couldn’t help but feel as though he were stepping into some dream—one with grand chandeliers, marble floors, and Remus looking better than the restaurant meals with his three-piece finally completed, walking at his side.“Mad,” Sirius murmured again, barely believing they were here. “Utterly deranged.”Remus’ quiet chuckle was drowned out by the slow jazz music coming from the other side of the doors. The low hum of conversation blended with the sultry rhythm of the music, notes twisting in the air like smoke and regaling the room with an intimate and decadent vibe.It was everything Sirius thought it would be when he told Remus about these nights—‘Live at The Ritz’ dinner parties, as his classmate told him they were called. Live music, delicious food and the room of romantic dreams, all there in front of Sirius’ eyes because he made an off-handed comment about wishing to go months ago.“Remus,” he hissed, glaring at his smug face. He glanced at the approaching maître d’. “Let this be a warning: I’m going to suck your cock so hard later, you’ll see all the stars this kitchen has.” Remus forgot his manners halfway through the second course.He’d started off well enough, polite smiles and charming nods as the maître d’ led them to their table and poured their wine. Sirius caught Remus stealing glances, and his restraint started to crack immediately as they sat down, with Remus’ hand sliding, predictably, to Sirius’ knee beneath the table.The warmth of his palm, the fingers stroking a slow rhythm, was all good and not-so-proper, and Sirius returned every little graze with his own foot sliding against Remus’ calf. They were seated to the side, Sirius gave his back to the wall and could see the entire room full of obnoxiously rich people having idle conversation as they sipped their wines and clapped politely when a song ended.It honestly took all of his control to will his cock to stay soft inside the thin lace of his panties with Remus’ leisured touches and only spoke when they finished their plate.“This kind of place should make you behave, darling,” he said casually, sliding the point of his shoe up to meet Remus’ knee.Remus chuckled, sliding the cursed hand between Sirius’ thighs. “You keep looking at me like that and I’ll lose my composure entirely.”“Oh, is that all it takes?” Sirius leaned in, voice low and teasing. “Wouldn’t want to ruin your careful planning by getting us kicked out, now, would you?”“They would be so lucky to watch you as you come, my love,” Remus replied in his ear. Sirius’ breath hitched. “They’re already fortunate I allowed them to admire you at all.”Sirius felt his cheeks heat at Remus’ words, an exhilarating blend of embarrassment and desire curling low in his belly as he glanced around the room again, at the oblivious diners listening to the smooth jazz filtering through the air. Remus' warm breath tickled his ear, and the slide of his hand made him press his thighs together, feeling utterly exposed.It was the mix of luxury and sin, the hedonist delight of dining in such a posh, refined setting while engaging in something so forbidden and irreverent that set his navel on fire. The opulent chandeliers sparkled like stars in the night, their low glow leaving the room oblivious to their debauchery. Sirius suppressed a moan, electrified by the thrill of their little game.He leaned closer, leaving a faint kiss on Remus’ cheek. “What if I gave you a little show under the table?”Remus inhaled sharply and stiffened for a moment, seemingly caught off guard by the boldness. Then, his hand travelled roughly to Sirius’ groin, knuckles stroking his soft, lace-covered cock, and Sirius had to bite down on his lip to kill the whimper that rose in his throat.“Baby, here?” Remus asked, his voice a low growl that filled Sirius with the pride of the chase. “With all these people watching?”“You wanted to see my garter belt, Daddy,” Sirius smirked, legs parting to give Remus better access. He revelled in the choked sound Remus made. “I can give you a little peek.”With that, he pulled Remus’ hand under his dress, dragging it up over his hipbone. The moment his fingers made contact with the lace of the belt, Remus’ breath caught in his throat. He leaned inconspicuously over the side of the table enough so he could see the garment peeking out from the slit of Sirius’ dress.“You’re going to kill me,” he choked out, eyes widening as he took in the sight of the lace clinging to Sirius’ skin. “How am I supposed to just move on from this?”Sirius smiled innocently, pulling Remus’ hand away and placing it on the table. “You’re not supposed to, darling.”Feeling playful, Sirius leaned back, one leg crossing over the other to reveal to Remus’ eyes more of the delicate lace adorning his thigh. His heel fell on the carpeted floor with a soft noise when he dropped it, and he slid his bare foot up Remus’ leg, feeling the tension and relishing in the thrill of it. Sirius inched higher and higher as they applauded the end of a song, and landed on his crotch just as their waiter served them dessert. Sirius smiled and thanked him, rubbing his foot on Remus’ hard cock under the table.“Did you like my belt, Daddy?” Sirius asked when the waiter left.“Oh, baby, I loved it,” Remus breathed, eyeing the lace still visible between the folds of his dress. “Will you let me look later, too?”“But of course.” Sirius’ smile widened as his foot kept the pressure steady. “I put it on for you, after all.”Remus’ response was cut by his phone buzzing in his pocket. Sirius pouted playfully but took his foot away from Remus’ crotch as he glanced at the screen. Remus sighed, an irritated twitch of his lip distorted his previous calm. “I’m so sorry, baby. I have to take this.”He looked genuinely apologetic, and Sirius didn't have it in him to act bothered. “It’s okay, I’ll be right here,” he assured him, waving him off.When Remus stepped away, Sirius took a deep breath and thought of very unpleasant things to calm his half-hard cock—James’ hairy toes and Headmaster Dumbledore belly-dancing did the trick.With a glance around the room, Sirius skimmed the faces of the people seated nearby. It was quite an odd feeling to be sitting there amongst what could easily be his parents’ acquaintances with Remus. Not only was Remus a new-rich—a brand of people his parents disliked even more than regular folks—but he was there, playing footsie under the table and disregarding any sort of public decency. It was the kind of behaviour that would’ve earned him a thorough beating if he was still at home.Yet, amongst the elegance of the surroundings, he felt empowered. In a way, it was liberating and cleansing to be himself in such a place, like he was reclaiming something from his old life and making it his own. He was Sirius Black, in an emerald, satin dress, adorned with lace and kneeling at Remus’ feet whenever he asked.Sirius caught a glimpse of Remus through the glass door, still engaged in his call, and he leaned back in his chair, admiring him from afar. Remus was handsome in an unordinary sort of way, with his crooked nose, his split lip and untameable hair. As Sirius stared like the creep he was, he saw that it was also in the way he carried himself, charming and confident, unafraid of showing himself to those he cherished.His mind drifted back to the way Remus had looked at him, his molten eyes filled with adoration. He could feel the heat rising in his cheeks as he thought of the lace adorning his body, how he had felt both vulnerable and strong while teasing Remus with the sight of it. It was a delicious secret, the lewd game they played was tastier than the dishes they ate, and Sirius shifted in his seat, eager for more.But when Remus returned to his chair, his expression was regretful.“I’m so sorry, my love,” he said in a dejected tone. Sirius could see the sincerity in his eyes. “The bloody supplier showed up and I have to deal with him.”“Oh,” Sirius’ shoulders involuntary slumped, a little more visibly than he’d meant to. The way Remus’ face fell even more made him feel like an utter git. “It’s alright, darling. We were finished anyway.”Remus shook his head, letting out a frustrated sigh. “I wanted to dance with you. We were having such a nice time and I’m so sorry. I tried to delegate, but the sod insisted on the owner signing off.”Sirius smiled, brushing his fingers against Remus’ hand. “We’ll dance another time. Let’s go.” At Remus’ request, Sirius settled himself on the plush leather couch of his office, draping one leg over the other with his heel dangling off his toe. He’d never been in it before—the office smelled like Remus, bergamot and cedar, something rich and a little wild that Sirius had come to find deeply comforting, and one of the walls was a huge window that loomed over the whole club. From his spot on the couch, Sirius could see the people dancing below him, the ones snogging in dark corners, and Pete trying to keep up with Benjy behind the counter of the bar.Remus had spent the drive to the club cursing the entire lineage of the poor supplier, and Sirius had to focus on stopping the laughter bubbling up in his chest. Sirius had barely time to say hello to Pete that Remus was already growling at the man, who awaited him with papers clutched in his hands. From the looks of it, it wasn’t going to be a pleasant conversation for either parties.Sirius had left the office door open and the faint music of the club trickled in the room, not loud enough to distinguish the words. Sirius let his eyes wander around the large space, noting the mess of paperwork on the desk, the old whiskey bottle on the bookshelf and a few things he recognised from Remus’ flat. A fond smile settled on his face when he noticed one of the little carvings Sirius made for him sitting under the monitor on the desk.He took a deep breath, inhaling the distinct smell of Remus, and slid down to drape himself on the couch, mindful of the delicate fabric of his dress. The cushions seemed to embrace him, and he allowed himself to sink into the softness as he thought about Remus sitting on it, surveilling the club with a watchful eye.There was something deeply arousing about being in Remus’ space, seeing the side of him that burned with business passion. He wondered if his pupils would dilate when he focused on his job, if his hands would trail on the keys with the same assuredness they had when they travelled on Sirius’ body.Sirius’ stomach fluttered when he brought his fingers up to trace the outline of his cleavage, running down the smooth edges of the satin. They trailed lightly over his exposed sternum, first down and then up again from one side to the other, lingering on the bottom of the fold when his navel clenched.When his fingers brushed over his nipples, they hardened under the gentle pressure, a rush of pleasure flooding through him, and a breathy moan escaped his lips as he pinched and pulled over the fabric. He could almost feel Remus’ hands on him, hear his voice as he guided his movements, and he wished Remus was there to watch him, with his focused look and a strong hand pulling his own cock.Sirius squirmed on the couch, legs parting slightly as if it was a natural reaction to the thought of Remus, and he let his fingers explore further, dipping under his ribs and gliding over his stomach, tracing the visible outline of the lace belt left to right, then following the straps down over his thigh. He bit his lip, letting out a soft whimper as his fingers continued, sliding higher to brush against the lace that hugged his prick. He could almost feel Remus’ gaze on him, that simmering intensity that made him feel like he was on top of the world.A shiver ran down his spine as Remus turned a corner and entered his office, eyes quickly scanning the room and locking on Sirius in a heartbeat. He approached the couch slowly, silently, like a hunter stalking his prey and ready to pounce and devour.There was nothing gentle in Remus’ look, and Sirius stared into his eyes as he stroked the tip of his fingers on the bend of his groin, careful not to move the fabric and reveal the treat underneath. It felt almost dangerous, the way Remus’ intense eyes didn't miss a movement of Sirius' hand, silent and tense, standing next to the couch.“Did you deal with him, Daddy? Did you tell him off?” Sirius asked in a hushed tone.Remus’ eyebrow twitched slightly when Sirius’ fingers dipped under his dress. “I did, baby. Daddy’s all yours now.”“All mine,” Sirius repeated with a sly smile. “What do you want to do, Daddy?”“So many things.” Remus’ voice was rough, low. “I want to see what you’re hiding under that dress, for one.”Sirius’ smile widened and he shifted on the couch, turning to his side. He grazed his fingers down the curve of his hip, smoothing the fabric over the delicate lace belt beneath, letting the outline show just enough for Remus’ breath to hitch. He watched Remus’ jaw tighten, eyes devouring every inch Sirius gave him.“You want to see, Daddy?” Sirius murmured, voice soft as he dipped over his stomach. Then, with a slow, measured movement, he rose to his feet and took a step towards Remus, smirking when his hands immediately found Sirius’ waist and trailed over the lace’s outline. “Why don't you take a seat, then? You’ve worked so hard today.”Though it looked like taking his hands off of Sirius cost him a great deal, Remus complied, sitting on the couch and leaning back, legs wide and one arm stretched along the back as he settled to watch Sirius’ show.Sirius’ heart raced and he took a small step back, letting Remus take in the full view as he reached a hand to stroke his own throat. He let it slide down, hooking his fingers under the fabric and unveiling his collarbone, then slowly slipping it off his shoulder. Remus’ breath quickened as his eyes found the lace crossing over his chest, just under Sirius’ pink, hard nipple.The satin moved like cool water on his skin as he did the same on the other shoulder and held it up by the sleeves. His hands roamed over every inch of exposed skin, until he leisurely reached the little bow that kept his dressed closed. He savoured every minuscule shift in Remus' expression as he watched Sirius toy with it, letting the long tie slip between his fingers and picking it up again.As he pulled on it and the knot untied, Sirius felt like a god and the dirtiest whore at the same time. It lightened up his head and made his cheeks burn with arousal, and he let the dress fall to the ground like a pool of liquefied riches.Remus watched him like one would watch a miracle unfold, fierce devotion and desperate pleas in his eyes as he brought a hand to the bulge in his trousers.They stayed silent, the low hum of the music charging the moment, warming Sirius as he closed his eyes and slowly arched his back, breathing hard as he passed his palms from his navel to his neck and down again, dipping past the garter belt framing his waist and hugging his hips, and brushed his fingers on his trapped cock.Every nerve ending was alive under Sirius’ skin as his hand roamed over his body, as he followed the contour of his frame and dipped down every curve, becoming one with the pulsing bass and Remus’ ragged breaths.The pounding of his heart made him aware of the blood running in his veins and he felt utterly alive and beautiful. He no longer was a person, but a symphony of desire and temptation, the siren song that pulled Remus under the water.“Do you like it, Daddy?” He breathed.Slowly, he turned around, arching his spine and letting Remus’ heavy gaze weigh him down. Remus moaned, loud and throaty, and fisted his cock faster as Sirius showed him the delicate lace and straps that adorned his back, the garter belt that framed his soft hips and left his arse bare, completely exposed by the thin strip of his thong.“Do you want to fuck me in it?” He turned and stepped towards the couch, his fingers brushing against the hem of his stay-ups. “Or do you want to make love to me?”Every movement of his body invited Remus to drink in the sight of him. Sirius watched as his hand moved on his glistening cock, hard thrusts that made him want to drop to his knees and let Remus fuck his mouth. Instead, he shivered, and his cock twitched in his panties as he slowly sank down to straddle Remus’ hips, bringing a hand to his chest and stroking the skin that peeked from his open shirt.“Or maybe you want to rip this off,” he whispered on Remus’ lips, breathless and rolled his hips with the upstroke of Remus’ hand. Remus gasped, and his breath was scorching hot on Sirius’ face. “And ruin me like a common whore?”Remus growled, and his hips bucked up, the tip of his prick brushing against Sirius’ boiling skin. He was breathing hard, squeezing the base of his cock. Sirius watched as the muscles of his stomach quivered and shook, feeling his chest warm at the sight of Remus’ face drenched in restraint.It drove Sirius mad with need, to see Remus like that. Remus was pure power and desperate lust all in one, he was primal passion and carnal desire, the lecherous pull that threatened to unravel Sirius’ mind with one simple touch.“You’re so hard for me, Daddy,” he whined, licking into Remus’ open mouth. He slid closer, pressing their body from chest to crotch and moaning at the friction. “Did you like my little treat?”“God, yes,” Remus groaned, strained as if he was struggling to keep himself in check. Sirius wanted him untamed—he wanted him feral.“Do you want to touch me?” He passed the pad of a finger on the slit of Remus’ cock and brought it to his mouth. “Daddy can touch now.”Blinking rapidly, Remus brought his hands to Sirius’ waist and moaned. His hands found their way through the lines of Sirius’ body, fingertips brushing over the lace that adorned his skin. Each caress left fire in their wake, and shivers raced through Sirius when Remus’ eyes darkened, fixed on the way the fabric clung to Sirius’ curves. When his hands found Sirius’ arse, they squeezed, pulling his hips forward to meet with his. Sirius gasped, delighted, and dropped his head on Remus’ shoulder.“I want your cock, Daddy,” he breathed in his ear. “Will you fuck me now?”Remus’ movement faltered for a moment, before flexing his hands on Sirius’ arse and pulling both of them up from the couch. Sirius wholeheartedly moaned, holding on to Remus’ shoulders and hips. When his back hit the cool glass, he whined high in his throat.With a grunt, Remus put him down and turned him around, a hand gripping tightly at Sirius’ hair. “I’m going to fuck you right here,” he growled, kicking Sirius’ legs open.The club was alive under his eyes, and Remus had Sirius’ body on display. Sirius couldn’t remember what it looked like from the other side, he couldn’t remember if he ever noticed a big window over the dance floor, and the shock of the glass against his bare skin sent a thrill down Sirius' spine.He arched into Remus’ body and rocked back against his cock, wordlessly begging him to do anything. Every muscle in his body was taut and strained, his knees weak at the feeling of being trapped, caught between the hard glass and Remus’ unyielding grip. He was exposed, held up for everyone to see how desperate he was for Remus.The heat in his belly flared when he gazed down again, where people were dancing, laughing, drinking—it would only take one person to look up and see him, one person, and then the crowd would glance up to see him, spread open and needy, begging for scraps from his master’s hands. He could almost feel their collective gaze on his body, feasting and taking him in so bare and willing, completely under Remus' spell as he fucked him into the glass.Images flashed behind his closed eyes and he dropped his forehead to the glass, moaning at the thought of strangers looking at him, seeing him knowing he belonged to Remus fully and completely.Remus pulled hard at his hair, forcing him to face the crowd once again.“Keep your eyes open,” he said, breath ghosting over his neck. “Don’t you want them to see? Don’t you want everyone to know what a whore you are for your Daddy?”The words washed over him like lava, trickling down slowly to the places Remus’ hand was roaming, grabbing and kneading at his hips, his waist, his thighs. His cheeks burned as he stood there, looking down at the crowd. The very idea of it, of someone, anyone catching a glimpse of him and realising what he was letting Remus do to him, left him lightheaded as imagination blended with memory—the plug, the crowd, pleasepleaseplease.“Yes, Daddy. Please,” he moaned, pushing and rubbing and opening his legs. “Let me show them, I want them to see.”“Good baby,” Remus said.Then, he dropped to his knees behind him and his hand came down hard on Sirius’ cheek.The slap cracked through Sirius, stinging bright and hot, a sharp burst that sent his heart racing and caught his breath in his throat. He whined, loud and unrestrained, arching against the glass as his skin tingled with the heat of Remus’ handprint. The crowd below surged and cheered, and Sirius wished it was for him.Remus gripped the meat of his cheek, and buried his face in Sirius’ arse. The stab of Remus’ tongue stung more than his hand did, as it pried Sirius’ hole open. His heart pulsed on the tight rim of muscle as Remus dove in, licking and sucking and grazing his teeth on the sensitive skin, and Sirius gasped at the unbearable heat of his mouth.“Oh—oh, Daddy, yes!” Sirius screamed, head falling back, eyes closing for just a moment before Remus' hand slapped his arse again. He clenched, and the grip was wet and velvety, and every inch of him felt sensitive, open, raw to the touch.The tongue was relentless, the press of it so insistent as it stretched Sirius wide open right there for everyone to see, placed on a pedestal above them all like a prize. Remus’ fingers dug into his body, anywhere he could reach. It hurt enough that Sirius knew he was going to leave bruises on his thighs, the delicate skin dotted red and purple, so pretty to look at, so nice to press on.Sirius’ whole body shook when Remus’ finger pushed into him, uncaring of Sirius’ comfort as it dug into his hole and took whatever it wanted. He moaned and gasped and screamed when another found its way inside, the drag almost dry, agonising as much as euphoric. He was pushed up against the window, chest and belly chilled by the cool glass as he rocked back on Remus’ fingers, trying to get them deeper, needing more and more and more.“Please," he begged. “Please, Daddy, please.”“What is it baby?” Remus asked on his skin, twisting and stubbing inside him. “Do you want Daddy to fuck you right here? Do you want to show them how good you can be?”When he nodded, Remus wrenched his fingers out of him. Sirius mewled sadly, his body clenching around emptiness, aching and desperate. The absence was unbearable, a gnawing, ravenous pit in his stomach that left him trembling and scrabbling at the glass to steady himself, every nerve alive and screaming for Remus to fill him up again, to take him until there was nothing left.“All spread out for me—so good.” Remus’ hand found purchase in his hair again. He brought something in front of his face and it took Sirius a few seconds to understand what he had to do. He opened his mouth, taking the corner of the packet between his teeth to let Remus rip it open. “Such a useful toy, too.”Sirius whimpered pathetically, cock twitching under the lace as he let the piece of foil fall from his mouth. Remus had started bringing with him packets of single use lube, and he told Sirius it was because he wanted to be always ready to use his toy wherever they were.Remus moved the string of the thong to the side and pressed the slick head of his cock to Sirius’ entrance, and Sirius’ thighs trembled as he fought to hold himself steady, to be patient and good for him. But the weight of Remus’ body behind him pushing him into the glass, the sight of hundreds of bodies dancing in front of him, and the iron grip in his hair, threatened to make him come right there and then.His heart raced, pounding in time with the rhythm of the music from the club below, the laughter and chatter of the crowd getting louder as they screamed lyrics that Sirius couldn't understand. Remus chuckled in his ear when Sirius pushed back against him, and he yanked Sirius’ head back to look at him, neck bending as much as it would go.A smile stretched on his beautiful face, and he thrust forward, stretching Sirius wide as his cock slid deep inside him. Sirius’ body convulsed and he cried out, the sound strained and muffled by Remus’ mouth on his. He kissed him roughly, lapping on his tongue and biting down on his lip as he stepped forward, forcing Sirius’ front against the window. The glass pressed against his hard prick and Sirius gasped, frigid cold against the searing hotness of his navel, and his knees buckled as a jolt of pleasure rocked through him, but Remus held him tightly, anchoring him in place. He clenched around Remus’ length, and the sting of the intrusion trickled up his hole and reverberated deep inside him.When Remus pulled away, a string of saliva connected their mouth. He moved Sirius’ head back to the crowd, the sudden tug lighting a spark of pain through his scalp that made him clench again around Remus' cock.“God, you’re so tight,” Remus groaned as he started to move, his voice rough as he bit on the crook of Sirius’ neck. “So fucking perfect. You were made for me, weren’t you, baby?”Sirius whimpered as he tried to nod, but Remus’ grip was firm and he tugged his head up when Sirius moved it. The muscles of his back relaxed, and he let Remus’ lovely hand hold him up, yearning for more.“Remember what I told you, my love?” Remus’ voice was a low rumble, lips brushing against Sirius’ ear as he spoke. “The first night I saw you, I was right here, and I looked down at the bar, and you were there. So pretty, so indecent in that tiny little skirt.”
You could dance for me.
Sirius’ prick drooled in the lace just thinking of their first night together, the way Remus had taken him apart with only words, made him come so hard that he cried for his cock.“I got downstairs so fast,” Remus continued, not giving Sirius a chance to catch his breath, thrusts growing deeper, harder, driving Sirius into the glass with each one. “Had to get close, had to see you—touch you.”His hand tangled further in Sirius’ hair, pulling harder, holding him exactly where he wanted him. Sirius let him, breathless and on fire. Remus’ thrusts were brutal, and the delicious pain of his hole melted with the one in his scalp, meeting right in the centre of Sirius’ being. He had felt beautiful that night months ago, dressing up to look for a random cock—his very first one, and he got oh so lucky to chose the love of his life instead.“Daddy—”“Had to know if you’d look at me with desperate eyes and beg for my cock.” Remus sneaked a hand down Sirius’ stomach, fingers skirting over the lace and pulling his panties aside. Sirius’ little cock sprung free, leaking and hard against the window. “And you did, didn't you, little love? You begged so nicely for it, you wanted to be ruined so badly.”Sirius moaned, hips uncontrolled as his brain tried to decide between thrusting forward on the glass or back on Remus' cock. The words pulled him deeper, drowning him in every harsh pull at his scalp, in every lewd little word falling out of Remus' mouth and he decided.He pressed his hips back, arching, showing himself off to Remus and whoever wanted to watch. He needed it harder, he needed Daddy to wreck him and love him and fuck him hard enough to make him come right there on top of the world. “Yes, Daddy! Ruin me, please, I-I need—harder, please!”The low laugh that came out of Remus’ throat sent a shiver of fear down Sirius’ spine. It was mean, and Sirius was so ashamed for begging, but he was much more ashamed of the way his whole body clenched down around Remus’ cock, how his hips seemed to have a mind of their own and kept meeting Remus’ hard thrusts. Remus slammed into him so hard that Sirius’ hipbones hit the glass, little prick squished and making a mess of precome on the pristine window and Sirius could feel the faint vibrations of the bass on the tip of it. It drove him wild, He felt like a storm in Remus’ arms, trembling and shaking with the need to come.The grip on his hair tightened once more, and Sirius could barely think as he kept his eyes on the people downstairs, seemingly oblivious to the brilliant way Remus was fucking him, how he was claiming him and filling him up right there in his office.“Do you remember how it felt?” Remus continued, shifting his hips and hitting Sirius’ prostate with his relentless thrusts. Sirius wailed at the assault, sharp white pleasure racking through his brain. “How you begged for me to fuck you raw? How you moaned and cried for my cock?”Sirius nodded feverishly, moving his head against Remus’ hard knuckles. He thought about that night so often, memories of it are ingrained in his brain—Remus’ hands on him, his lips, his tongue, the way he’d made him feel more than he ever thought possible. “Yes! Yes, Daddy! I remember! I-I need—please don’t stop! I need to come, Daddy!”Remus laughed again, throaty and deep. “Daddy won’t stop, my love,” he said. “Take your little cock in your hand for me.”Mindlessly, Sirius complied immediately. As soon as his fingers wrapped around his aching cock, a shiver ran down his spine. The coolness of the glass, the heat of Remus pounding into him—it made his senses crack and splinter, and he sobbed, tears finally slipping free. He tightened his hand around himself, feeling the slick wetness smearing across his palm as he stroked, grinding into his own touch and gasping, trying to get air into his lungs.“Such a good baby,” Remus murmured, possessive tone making Sirius whine. His thrusts fastened, each one forcing his cock deeper into Sirius’ trapped body, one hand fisted in Sirius’ hair and the other sliding down his thigh.In a quick movement, he hooked his arm under Sirius' knee and brought it up, bent taut next to his hip.Sirius keened high in his throat when Remus’ tip stabbed his prostate with every movement and he came, hand working fast to milk out his release and splutter it on the window. He clenched so hard around Remus’ cock that his thrusts faltered for a moment and he growled, the feral sound Sirius yearned for all night finally vibrating through him.Remus recovered quickly, regaining his merciless pace and dragging Sirius’ orgasm a little longer.“Oh, look at that,” he said in Sirius’ ear. “Made a mess, didn't you?”Sirius whimpered and his face burned as he watched his come slide down the glass. “S-sorry—”“Mh, that's alright, baby. But Daddy’s not done with you yet,” Remus whispered, a dark edge to his tone that made Sirius shiver. “Keep stroking baby. I didn’t tell you to stop.”Sirius’ breath hitched, his oversensitive body trembling and struggling to stay upright as he kept his grip around his softening cock, obeying Remus’ command. Each touch was unbearable, a sharp sting of agony that danced along the edges of pleasure sending electricity through his limbs and making them numb. He wailed as he lost balance and put some of his weight on Remus’ unmoving grip on his hair.“Daddy—hurts, it hurts,” he cried, though his hand didn’t stop.“I know, baby,” Remus cooed softly. “But you like it so much when it hurts, don't you? You look so pretty when you’re too sensitive, when you cry and beg, ‘Daddy it hurts so good!’”The mocking tone made him sob. Humiliation and arousal shot through Sirius, and his strokes grew faster, driven by the delicious shame that curled in his belly. His hand was slicker now, noisy, and each movement sent throbbing shocks of pleasure through him as he teetered quickly towards the edge.Remus’ relentless pace didn’t let up at all, his cock driving hard and deep with every thrust, uncaring of the sting that brought Sirius to madness, his whole body pulsing with the sensations crashing through him—in him. His eyes, glazed and unfocused, flickered down to the smear of his release on the window again, his cheeks flushing as he saw it for what it was, the glaring evidence of his eternal surrender to Remus’ will and desires.The new, sharp tug in his hair sent a new wave of unbearable heat through him, and he choked on a gasp, hand working fast over his sensitive length as he struggled to obey, to keep showing Remus just how dutiful he could be even as he broke him.Sirius’ vision blurred with tears as the exquisite pain twisted his guts and felt like needles in his cock, leaving him dangling in blissful torment. Every ragged breath came faster, shallower, his mind hazy with want and obedience, focused entirely on Remus’ voice, on the punishing, beautiful rhythm that was slowly unravelling him once again.“Look at you,” Remus whispered, almost as if to himself. His tone was tinged with awe and something darker that felt like obsession. “Taking it so well, spread open for me, dripping on the glass like a desperate little toy.”The coil of pleasure and utter shame twisted his belly at the way Remus waived praises in the obscene words, and he worked his hand faster, like a desperate little toy trying to snap the tension in his navel. Every touch had a jagged edge of too-much, each stroke pierce through his cock and each one of Remus’ thrusts stabbing painfully at his prostate made him see stars behind his eyelids.He was lightheaded and strained, he couldn’t make a sound because even that hurt him inside so bad it made his cock twitch painfully in his grasp. Agony was everywhere, his hole was sore and raw, his cock felt like it was about to chafe in his hand, and his scalp was on fire under the harsh treatment of Remus' hand—but Sirius wouldn't stop, he couldn’t. His hand moved on its own up and down his length, his hips thrust back and forth, fucking into his fist and meeting Remus' thrusts.Because his body did not belong to him any longer, it was Remus' property, and Remus was free to do as he pleased with it. He could fuck it until it was red and gaping, he could make Sirius’ hand move on his cock until it made sparks and couldn't harden anymore. Sirius had no authority on his body, it was all Remus’.“You’ll come again for me, won't you?” Remus asked, and Sirius tried to nod. “You’ll come even if it hurts—you’ll come because it hurts, won’t you my love?”Sirius’ head moved harder, nodding desperately in Remus’ grip. “Yes, Daddy,” his voice was barely a broken whisper. “A-anything… anything—anything—”His whole body was taut, a live wire in Remus’ arms, and it only took another hard thrust for Sirius’ cock to come again, agonising pleasure shooting through him and pulling screams from his throat. He slumped forward, only kept upright by Remus’ hands on him, but he didn't stop the movements of his hand.“Daddy, please—”“Keep going,” Remus ordered. His hand kept moving, arm muscles shaking with the power of overwriting the impulses of his brain. “I’m about to come, my love. Keep fisting your little cock for me.”Sirius’ mind blanked at Remus’ words, the promise of release from his Daddy fusing with the relentless, biting ache all over his body. His hand continued the punishing rhythm over his prick, overstimulated and raw, each stroke searing something deep into his core, but he couldn't tell if it was pleasure or pain anymore.Broken whimpers left his lips as he took it, Remus’ drilling thrusts and his own hand on his cock. He took it all and waited for his treat, for the moment Remus’ come would fill his clenching hole so nicely. Remus’ hand tightened in his hair, holding Sirius steady for himself and grounding him in a way he desperately needed.“Good boy, clenching so hard for Daddy,” Remus praised, each word dripping with possessive adoration as his pace grew erratic. “Just like that. Keep going, little love… don’t stop.”Sirius moaned—in bliss, in agony, he didn’t know. Maybe it was both, the soreness had grated at every nerve in Sirius' abused parts, yet his cock twitched and his hole clenched down trying to keep Remus deep inside him.With a brutal thrust, Remus buried himself as deep as he could go and came in licks of fire against Sirius’ battered walls, and Sirius couldn't help but shake and convulse in Remus' hold as agonising bliss blinded him. He moved his hand on his cock, no longer fisting it but rubbing, harsh flicks of his palm that moved it briskly from side to side, sending drops of his liquid release to land everywhere.He couldn't stop, not when the pain and the pleasure tasted so good on his tongue. His mind was lost in the haze of hell and heaven, while his body moved on its own as Remus held him steady, confined between his fist and his elbow and his thick cock inside Sirius’ hole. But Sirius' hand began to falter, tired muscles finally unable to disobey the commands of his brain that told them to stop the hurt, and he sobbed.Remus tutted behind him, and fingers found Sirius’ wrist immediately and guided it back to that flicking, intolerable rhythm.“No stopping baby,” Remus hissed menacingly in his ear. “I want to see your little clit come again.”Sirius’ world collapsed, his mind trying to grasp at something to say, to tell Remus he didn’t have a… a—but his voice washed over Sirius like a tide, each syllable sent stabs of pleasure deep in his guts, and heat pooled in his belly like blood from a wound.“This pretty little clit of yours, all sore and needy.” He was speaking straight into Sirius’ ear, tone growly and possessive the way Sirius loved. “Do you think they can see it?” He asked then, pulling at Sirius' hair until he was once again looking at the crowd. “If they looked up, would they see your little clit? Or would they just see you rubbing it desperately in front of everyone?”Each flick of his palm sent Sirius spiralling, hot dripping mortification lightening his head. His mind was screaming at him to stop, to pull away from the pain, the soreness, the shame, but his own body kept betraying him, limping under the unforgiving rhythm of Remus' hand dragging Sirius by the hair towards the edge, each brush a sword and a balm inside him. “Daddy—”“They only need to look up, don't they?” Remus interrupted, tauntingly. “They’d see you spread open, desperate, rubbing your clit on the window like a needy little thing, like you can't help it.”Sirius’ head shook, but he wasn’t sure who moved it, whether he or Remus. “Can’t help it…”“I know baby,” Remus cooed, pressing Sirius’ hips to the cool window. Sirius really couldn't help it, he rutted his prick against it. Then Remus laughed and pulled him back, resuming his movements. "Did that feel good, my love? Does it feel good to know they could see you being Daddy’s good whore?”The edge Sirius was walking felt like a knife’s blade all over his body. Remus’ hand forced him to walk it all, setting every nerve alight and pulling ragged gasps from his throat. His hand didn’t slow, unyielding as he talked Sirius towards the edge.“My pretty boy being Daddy’s little show,” he purred. “Showing the whole world how pretty you look all dolled up in lace and heels as Daddy breaks you—such a pretty toy to look at.”God, the shame was so much that it hurt when it made his stomach twist, his tears falling and falling messed up the careful makeup he had applied. Sirius couldn't wait to see how pretty it looked now.“Come, my love,” Remus urged, fingers moving expertly on Sirius’ cock and bollocks. “Show them how much you love being my pretty little whore, how much you love to do as I say. Show them how much you love when they watch you come.”His orgasm was out of his control, Remus’ words and hand forcing his body over the agonising edge, screaming and crying and spraying liquid all over the glass. Remus held him through it, yanking his head up so Sirius could watch his pathetic little cock as it wetted everywhere and his body surrendered to exhaustion, the intensity of his release leaving him boneless in Remus’ arms.Sirius howled and cried, drool dripping from his lips and falling on the floor as he stared at his soft cock, twitching and aching. Did they see? Did anyone see? He wondered, and hoped someone did. The thought made his face burn with embarrassment, imagining curious glances from the crowd under him, their laughter and their whispers, and their fingers pointing at him and his mess right there on the window.When the tremors subsided, Remus pulled back slowly from his body. A shudder ran through Sirius, navel contracting at the stabbing pain in his rear as Remus dragged his limp cock out of him. Inch by inch, the absence of him felt more and more wrong, and the ache of his raw hole was a cruel reminder of what he used to have.“Clench for me, my love,” Remus ordered. “I want you to hold my come until we’re home. Be Daddy’s good whore and keep it warm.”A sob rocked through him and his cheeks burned hotter, but he nodded. “Y-yes, Daddy,” he rasped out, voice cracking as he spoke. He clenched hard when Remus' cock slipped out, the sharp sting in his abused muscles pulsed and throbbed and Sirius whined, grimacing to focus on keeping his muscles locked up against the pain.Remus placed his leg down, slipping the heel back on his foot and widening his legs, then brought Sirius’ arms up and opened them, almost as if he was hugging the crowd. He pressed his chest on the glass and stepped back, humming.“Stay right here, my love,” Remus instructed with a playful pat on Sirius’ arsecheek. “I know you like to go mindless with cock, but I need you present and with me, yeah?”Sirius nodded, a whispered Okay the only thing he could think of. He panted on the glass, sniffling as he heard Remus chuckle.“I’ll let you drift later, I promise,” he said. He grabbed a handful of Sirius’ exposed arse and snapped the thong's strip back in place, wringing a pained moan from Sirius’ lungs. “I have to finish tonight’s report since you distracted me with your pretty little surprise. I want you to stay here, and tell me if anyone notices you.”The world outside the glass seemed so vibrant and alive, and Sirius felt silly as he nodded, pinned in place and exposed, a pretty Valentine’s day decoration on the window of Remus’ office. The quiet clacking of his fingers against the keyboard mixed with the soft music and the sounds of laughter and cheers, and every so often, someone would throw their head back and Sirius’ stomach would curl in embarrassment as he wished for them all to see.The warmth of Remus’ come prickled inside him, comforting and humiliating as he obediently clenched down and forced it to stay put. Sirius’ mind was still swirling, he felt raw and on display, body buzzing with the lingering intensity of his release and the thrill of being watched so open and pliant, bending to any request Remus had. He leaned into the glass, sighing at its coolness against his overheated skin.Behind him, Remus hummed approvingly. Sirius tried to imagine what he looked like, limbs stretched wide and ruined lingerie clinging to his body, his exposed bum trembling and clenching to keep Remus’ come warm inside him. He breathed shakily as he focused on the frigid sensation on his chest to keep himself anchored and run away from the marvellous haze the utter mortification threatened to send him to.There was something deliciously possessive in the way Remus had arranged him, forcing him to remain present to feel every lick of shame on his body, every twist of his guts when someone laughed or screamed too loudly amongst the dancing crowd, hoping it was for him, for the beautiful show Remus turned him into.Each melodic keystroke made him feel more alive, more tethered in the moment, to Remus and the chaotic energy of the night around them. The thought of drifting away was tempting, but he found himself craving the thrill of being alert to witness it all just as much.“Is anyone looking?” Remus’ voice startled him.Sirius bit back a whine. “N-no, Daddy,” he stammered, watching each face under him.People danced and moved like a living organism, and Sirius stared, splayed against the glass with his makeup running and his hair tousled. what would they think? Would they understand how viscerally he yearned for it? How good it felt to be a doll in his Daddy's hand, moved and arranged to be exhibited like a trophy?His breath hitched when he met a girl’s eyes through the glass. She was dancing, leaning back on someone’s shoulder and smiling. Point at me, Sirius begged in his head. Please, make them look, make them all look. But the girl turned around to reply to something, and kept going with her night as if nothing happened.A whimper escaped his lips, the sound barely more than a breathy sigh. The noises and music outside flowed like a river, intoxicating, dangerously close. What would it feel like to be desired by them all? To be the reason for those giggles—to be the beautiful mess they could see. He shuddered at the thought, clamping his muscles instinctively, and the hot come shifted inside him.He gasped when Remus’ hands stroked his legs. Sirius didn't even hear him approach.“Good boy,” he murmured in his ear. “Such a pretty little showpiece for Daddy’s office.”Sirius’ heart raced, a flush of heat rising to his cheeks at the compliment. A showpiece. The word echoed in his mind. Remus’ hands trailed up his legs, gliding smoothly over his stay-ups and following the straps of his belt over his hips, as if he was showing everyone what to look.The girl’s silent laughter rang in Sirius’ ear and he pushed against the glass harder, his soft cock brushing against it made him hiss as he willed someone to notice him, to grasp the raw vulnerability he wore for Remus like a second skin.The room was full of strangers, and Sirius wanted their eyes on him, he wanted them to see him all tangled up in lace and longing, with his Daddy’s hands all over him.“Don’t drift, my love,” Remus reminded him as he stroke over the lace of his garter belt. “I want you here. Keep your eyes open.”Sirius nodded and opened his eyes to look into Remus’. They were like honey. “I’m here,” he whispered.Remus' smile was small at first, then he huffed, and it grew to his whole face. Sirius felt himself smile, too, when Remus pulled away from him and turned him around to kiss him deeply against the glass. Sirius gasped as his boiling body rested against the window but opened his mouth for Remus' tongue eagerly, melting into the kiss and losing himself in the taste of Remus.As they broke apart, Sirius couldn’t stop his smile at the way his heart swell with affection every time he looked at Remus. Even in moments like those, where his arousal clouded his brain and made him feel like more animal than human. Sirius loved Remus so much it was pathetic, so much it nearly overwhelmed him most of the time. The way Remus looked at him and the way he took control, how he always knew what to do with him and to him, never failed to make him feel beautiful and adored.The crowd looking didn't mean anything if Remus wasn't there to see him too.“I love you,” Sirius whispered on his mouth. Tears suddenly pushed at the back of his eyes and he blinked fast. “I love you so much, Remus.”“I love you too,” Remus replied, stealing another quick kiss from Sirius’ lips.A few moments passed with soft kisses and Sirius fingers running through Remus’ hair, hugged so tight together that it was almost hard to breathe. Remus’ body was warm, and Sirius could feel Remus’ heartbeat in his own chest.“You know,” Remus started as they pulled back. He left another kiss on Sirius’ mouth before continuing. “I had a surprise back home, too, but I got distracted.”Sirius gaped at him, shivering. “We said no gifts!”Remus chuckled, walking to the coat stand and bringing Sirius his coat. Sirius eyed him suspiciously and he winked. “You’re going to stay exactly like this under your coat, cock out and all.” Instinctively, Sirius’ thighs pressed together as if trying to conceal it. “I don’t want to ruin your pretty dress, I’m going to need you to wear it again for me.”“And what about my lace?” Sirius asked, slipping his arms into the coat. “And your gift!”“Not really a gift,” Remus said, twisting his mouth as if in thought. “It’s just something we can both enjoy that I’ve been thinking about for a while. But!” He laughed, pressing two fingers against Sirius’ mouth before he could reply. “That’s something for tomorrow.”Sirius took a step back, escaping his makeshift gag. “What, tomorrow?”“You’ll be too sore,” Remus said. “It’s still going to be there tomorrow.”An indignant noise came out of Sirius' mouth. “I’m not—I’m fine. I want to play.”Remus raised an eyebrow and smirked. “Your prick is still out and my come is still inside you, and you already want to play again?”“I—yes?” Sirius muttered, face hot.“Let’s get you home first, my love,” Remus laughed. “Then we’ll see.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
They absolutely did not play when they got home.Sirius had followed as Remus waived through the crowd and said their goodbyes to Benjy and a very flushed Peter, whose eyes skittered between Sirius in his coat and his dress in Remus’ hand.“You don't want to know,” Sirius had simply told him, and Peter had gaped and basically ran to serve the next customer in line.The glass wall had turned out to be a huge fucking mirror on the other side. Remus had laughed at his surprised face, and Sirius punched his arm, though he did feel a bit stupid. Of course, he had noticed the huge mirror before—it was one of the reasons James and he liked the club so much. He just didn’t have the wits to make the connection. It hadn’t even been his fault. It had been Remus’ fault, and his cock’s fault, and his filthy fucking words’ fault.“You liked the idea so much, my love,” Remus had said through laughter. “I didn’t want to ruin your fun.”By the time they got home, Sirius was trying to stifle his yawns in the collar of his coat with little to no success. Remus chuckled, dropping his keys on the bench by the door.“You're going straight to bed, love,” he said, bending down to pick Sirius up.Sirius let him, but only because he loved when Remus picked him up—it made him feel dainty and delicate.“You can still fuck me, you know?” Sirius said, letting the yawn free. “I’ll love it.”“You’ll be asleep,” Remus laughed.“It’s on my list.”Remus rolled his eyes and set him down on the edge of the tub. “Let’s brush your teeth, come on.”With gentle hands and soothing movements, Remus got him ready for bed, brushing his teeth and his hair and helping him out of his lace. His touches did not devolve into anything filthy even when his cock visibly hardened in his beautiful tailored trousers, and Sirius had to commend his resolve. He worked Sirius out of each garment gently, almost reverently, as if he was unwrapping his favourite present and not his utterly debauched boyfriend whom he’d spent the last hour fucking against a window.The lace and stockings went into a neat pile on the dresser, and Remus put him in one of his old t-shirts. Sirius felt thoroughly taken care of, all fuzzy and warm inside, and he wanted to say something, to thank him, maybe, or to ask him to fuck him to sleep, but another yawn took him by surprise.“See?” Remus smirked, guiding Sirius to the bed and pulling the covers up over him. “Out like a light in five, i guarantee it.”“‘M wide awake,” Sirius mumbled, though his blink was a little too long. The mattress was soft, the sheets the perfect temperature, and Remus’ hands in his hair were the kind of magic to take down even the strongest of warriors.“If you’re awake when I get back, I’ll fuck you again,” he said, and laughed when Sirius gave him a thumbs up with his eyes closed.As Remus tucked the covers around him, Sirius felt a comfortable weight settle in his chest, the warmth of Remus’ hand lingering against his cheek. Remus’ soft touch was more intoxicating than any of his lewd words, and Sirius could barely keep his eyes open, yet he wanted to stretch the moment a little longer, soak in the gentle way Remus brushed his hair back and the tender look in his eyes.His breathing was slowing, and his body was relaxing into the sheets, mind starting to drift and flicker like candlelight. The quiet warmth settled over him, grounding him in the sheets yet lifting him into nothing, each breath drawing him further into that soft, foggy place between wakefulness and dreams.But as his muscles unclenched, the warmth of Remus’ release threatened to trickle out of him, and the sensation pulled him back into the bed. He had honestly forgotten it was there, he got so used to the tension in his muscles that he hadn’t noticed he’d been holding it in. His eyes fluttered open, drowsy as the edge of embarrassment melted away in the comfort of Remus’ familiar weight sliding into bed beside him.“Moony…” he whispered, voice barely audible, still soft and wrapped in sleep.Remus turned, brushing a thumb over his cheek. “Hm?”Sirius’ cheeks coloured, but he managed a small smile, wrapping his arms around Remus’ neck and hiding in there. “S’dripping out of me,” he admitted, a hint of bashful pride in his tone as he sluggishly threw his thigh over Remus’ lap.Remus chuckled, warm hands slithering under the shirt and slipping on the skin of Sirius’ waist. “I thought you were asleep, my love.”“Can’t fall asleep without you,” Sirius murmured. “Will you fuck me? I’m awake—promise.”Sirius’ breath hitched as Remus’ hand drifted lower, settling with a warm, firm hold on his thigh and pulling him closer. The sensation was odd; the slow, gentle circles on his skin made it hard to keep his eyes open, but the hint of pressure made Sirius’ pulse thrum, awake and alive.He blinked, and the hand wasn't there anymore, but its fingers were wet, pressing inside him slowly and carefully. Sirius hissed at the burn, not from the stretch, but from how sensitive he was as Remus filled him with practiced patience, easing him open with leisured, steady strokes. Sirius shivered, his whole body caught in the delicious contradiction—bone-tired but electric, thrumming over Remus’ chest.Then he blinked again, and he gasped as the tip of Remus’ cock slipped inside him. Sirius’ arms wound more tightly around Remus' neck, clinging to the solid warmth of his skin, shifting his leg to hitch higher on Remus' hip. He could feel his own heartbeat slowing down to match the measured thrusts that lulled him, each breath tethering him closer to sleep and yet deeper into Remus.“You awake?” Remus whispered in his ear, bending his knees to keep Sirius steady over him.Sirius hummed, “Barely.”His voice broke in the end, trying to stay present when every inch of him tingled with Remus gentle, undemanding rhythm. The comfort of Remus’ presence coaxed him into a dream, each thrust pressing Sirius further into that hazy, blissful state until his thoughts were no more than quiet murmurs.Remus’ cock couldn't reach as deep as it usually would in their position, but Sirius loved it anyway, the gentle drag of skin against skin, the slow thrusts just shy of his sensitive prostate. Sirius knew he wouldn’t come again, he didn’t even think his prick could get hard after the rough treatment it suffered just an hour ago, but it wasn't about that.It was about Remus, and being so close to Remus they were just one person. It was about his come inside Sirius and feeling so safe and loved that his body was willing to let go and shut down while Remus was moving inside him, trusting Remus so much that he had no problem letting him do whatever he wanted to his body while his mind was somewhere else entirely.“You can sleep, my love,” Remus whispered, gently kissing his mouth. “I’ll fill you up like you asked.”“Promise?” Sirius drawled, already halfway there.Remus left another kiss on his lips before replying. “Promise.”He floated, weightless in the temple of Remus’ arms, and Sirius felt his body relax again as Remus filled him carefully, movements soothing and calm melting with the whispered reassurances against his hair and the lingering kisses on Sirius’ brow.“Love you,” Sirius murmured. He was limp and boneless, and his heart was on Remus' heart.“I love you, too,” Remus whispered back, his voice like a lullaby, low and reassuring.As his eyelids grew heavier, Sirius could feel his thoughts slipping away like sand through his fingers. Remus’ breath was warm on his face, and he filled him perfectly. And Sirius’ mind surrendered to the movements, drifting into the comfort of sleep cradled in the embrace of Remus’ love. Sirius existed in the dream, and he was on fire. Flames were all around him, fierce and tall, but they didn’t hurt. Instead, they rocked through his body and made him whine and moan, passing right through him and piercing him with incandescent blades that made his body twist and squirm. Then the fire rose higher, over his head and wrapping under his bare legs, and crashed down into him like a wave, Sirius in the middle as he tried to breathe but could only gasp and choke and cry out as pleasure washed from his head right to the soles of his feet.You’re so soft, it said.The heat moved inside his veins, powerful and pure, until he was utterly consumed with a bliss that bordered on divine. It gathered strength, rising up like the hands of some holy, unknowable being, and poured into him again. The flames twist and coil, raging inside him, sinking into his bones with a delicious ache, pulsing in rhythm with a heartbeat not his own.So good, it whispered.Body arching and yielding, he let the molten warmth sink deeper, skin shimmering, chest heaving. Pleasure beyond anything earthly, he was caught in an eternal moment, gasping as the waves built again, cresting in a flood that made him powerless, lost, and beautifully engulfed.Sirius wondered in the dream, floating freely like a wind made out of flames and dissolving as they held him, sturdy and adoring, worshipping the marrow in his bones. The warmth cascaded over him once more and he sunk into them, blending them with him, melting them inside him.He was spread open, weightless.Pretty baby, it breathed.Then he arched again, screaming soundlessly in ecstasy, consumed by the fire as it poured out of his pores, as it filled him until the overwhelming bliss spiralled in his belly. His skin was shining and vibrating with a thrum that rocked him up and down with a breath in his ear, a steady whisper in his brain
wake up, my love
and Sirius opened his eyes to pleasure and sounds, to friction and sweat and he wailed, euphoric.Remus smiled on top of him, beautiful and bare, so strong as he held Sirius’ thrashing body and soul and pushed and pushed and pushed into him.The dream trickled into reality, and the flames pooled in his guts as his body became solid and grounded, clenching down on the weight inside him. His senses blurred, everything narrowed down to the feeling of Remus' skin, the sustained push and drag and the murmur of his lover’s voice that was in part adoration, in part command.“Let go, little love,” he said. “Let me see you come.”The words wrapped around him like the scorching flames as he moaned, desperate and dazed, and he tried to understand what was dream and what was not. Remus held his thighs flush against his chest, thrusting so hard that Sirius was weightless again, then heavy again, and Sirius arched beneath him when the fire roared back to life within him. It pooled heat in his belly, swirling with an intensity that made it hard to think, hard to focus on anything but the sweet release he was chasing.“I’m—oh, god,” he gasped, voice the unsteady sound of the morning, he trembled and shook and keened high in his throat. “Oh, god! Remus—Remus!”Remus hauled him closer and brought Sirius’ knees to his shoulders, he thrust and pushed so deep inside him, and he was hothothot like the devouring flames of his dream—above him, around him, inside him.The crescendo broke, and Sirius surrendered to the heat that consumed him, crying out and shaking, calling out Remus’ name and begging for him to follow. And when he did, the firestorm consumed him from the inside.Sirius trembled, a quiet quake that started in his bones and rippled outward. The fire, the dream, the deep, overwhelming pleasure that swallowed him unravelled him and left him raw and exposed, gasping for something more than just air. He clung to Remus’ neck when the shakes didn’t stop and his solid weight on his body made it harder to breathe. But he tried to fuse with Remus’ skin anyway, pressing closer, asking to hold him together.Though he couldn’t speak, throat tight with something he couldn’t understand, he gasped on Remus’ shoulder, and a tear slipped from the corner of his eye, then another, until he was crying softly. He cried and shook, an earthquake in Remus’ hands, hitching breaths and relief pouring out of him.“I’ve got you.” Remus held him tightly, murmurs low and soothing. “Let it out, my love. It was intense, It’s okay. Let it out.”Sirius’ hand clutched at Remus’ back, nails digging in as he let himself break open fully, as he let Remus pull him back and stitch him together. He didn’t know he could feel both sliced open and alive, carved out chest for Remus to see and hold dear. Remus whispered gentle, soothing words against his ear while his fingers brushed Sirius’ hair in slow strokes. Sirius didn't catch all the words, only the deep, reassuring tone and the way Remus seemed to understand all Sirius wanted to say.As the minutes stretched and Remus’ hold didn't waver, Sirius started to feel more settled, more solid. His tremors began to ease, and the tempestuous wind in his chest calmed down to a light breeze. They stayed like that, wrapped in quiet words until Sirius came out of Remus’ neck, eyes wet but focused, and he smiled back when Remus smiled.“Hello, my love,” Remus whispered, pressing a kiss on his lips. There was no judgement in his eyes, no scorn. Only the acceptance and patience that Sirius had come to love with his whole self.“Hi,” he responded, and it still sounded small, though not fragile anymore.Remus slid off Sirius’ body, and he wrapped his arms around his waist before speaking. “Are you okay?”“I think so,” Sirius murmured. He buried his fingers in Remus' hair and brought their foreheads together, safe. “Just… a lot. Of feelings. All good but…”“A lot nonetheless,” Remus finished for him. Sirius nodded. “Are you up to talk about it? This wasn't a scene, but it was very intense.”Breathing deeply, he took a moment to gather his thoughts. “I think I just got swept away.”“What do you mean?”Sirius sighed, leaning into Remus' hand when it settled on his cheek. “I was dreaming and-and in the dream I was on fire but it didn't hurt, it was… it felt euphoric, and it felt so real, and then I woke up to—everything was amplified, like I was drowning in the fire.”“That made you feel scared?”Sirius shook his head. “It made me feel godly,” he whispered. “I had no form, no body. I was just the feeling of the fire burning from the inside, it—”Sirius made a choked sound, and Remus smiled. “It sounds very intense, my love.”“Yeah, it’s…” Sirius mulled over his words. When he continued, he whispered them, a secret between him and Remus. “I was on fire, Moony, in a good way. The flames were consuming me and they became you and I couldn’t understand if I was awake and still on fire, I-I couldn't understand when the dream ended and you began.”His heart raced at the memory of it, at the confusion that clouded his drowsy brain and the strength of the heat that had made him gasp in ecstasy. He was struggling to translate the feeling of it into words, how much he loved losing himself in that limbo.“That's a beautiful way to describe it,” Remus whispered back. “And it's beautiful you allowed yourself to feel so deeply, Sirius. I’m honoured you shared that with me.”“I never thought I…” Sirius’ cheeks heated up a bit. “It was overwhelming, but… liberating, I think?”Remus’ arms tighten around Sirius’ waist. “Is that why you had such a strong reaction?” He asked.Sirius nodded. “I felt so… open after, raw. Like I didn’t have my skin on. I thought I was going to break apart but then you held me. You held me together, after.”“I’ll always hold you, my love.” Remus' voice was as soft as his eyes.“Thank you…”“You don't need to thank me,” Remus shook his head. “It’s easy to love you. You make me feel like I could breathe underwater. Thank you for telling me, my love.”The sincerity in Remus’ eyes drew Sirius in, it made him smile and blush, and his stomach warmed with marvellous love. “Thank you for listening,” Sirius smiled, leaving a kiss on the tip of Remus’ nose. “And I love you, too.”The morning light trickled into the room, and they stayed wrapped around each other for a few more minutes, content to linger in the quiet calm between them. An odd sort of satisfaction descended on Sirius, that was not tied to the mind-blowing sex, or the breakdown right after, but to the way Remus and he slotted together so perfectly after something so fierce. Their breaths synched as if naturally falling into place in a practised routine, and Sirius felt his eyes close again.It was in those moments, when they were quiet and their hearts beat at the same rhythm, that Sirius knew for certain that there would never be another like Remus.Remus was it for him, totally and unconditionally.The certainty of it should’ve filled him with dread, with questions; instead, Sirius was at peace. He could feel Remus' fingers trace the bumps of his spine, and it brought a wave of longing for a life filled with that very movement, an eternity spent in the crook of Remus’ neck.There, wrapped in Remus' warmth, it was easy to imagine their forever. Time warped and flexed, and Sirius felt the years to come twist and turn and become his past, then his present, before going back to be their future. His eyes prickled under his lids, and his breath hitched, caught in the words in his throat.He pulled away, and looked at Remus. “I love you,” he whispered. “I love you with my whole heart.”Remus, unaware of Sirius’ monumental realisation, smiled at him, kind and handsome as he always was. “I love you, too,” he said. “From the depth of the ocean to the infinite universe.”A laugh bubbled up in his throat, soft and unsteady, and he threw himself on Remus, the force of it rolling them over as Sirius pressed kisses all over his face. They tried to kiss and failed, both laughing too much to actually put in the effort, and Sirius was so in love his chest ached.When they finally managed to, Remus’ eyes were sparkling.“I really should feed you,” he said, brushing Sirius’ hair behind his ear.Sirius, finally back to himself, felt his face split in a grin. “You could feed me your—”Remus’ groan cut him off. “How did I know you were going to say that?”“I’m becoming predictable. My greatest fear.”“Never,” Remus snorted. “You’re everything but that. I really love the hair, by the way. Frames your face perfectly, my love.”Sirius beamed, sitting up and flicking the end with his hand. “Yeah?”“Absolutely,” Remus replied. He sat up and climbed off the bed, and Sirius was gifted with the beautiful sight of Remus’ arse, before he covered it with pants. “Your cheekbones are to die for, baby.”“Your cheeks are, too,” Sirius hummed as he looked down to hide his blush. “And I told Lily she’s—aah Remus!”Sirius screeched as he was dragged across the bed, Remus’ big hands wrapped around his ankles. Remus laughed triumphantly and dropped Sirius’ legs on the side of the bed. “What were you saying about Lily?”Sirius made an indignant noise, biting his mouth to keep the laughter in. “I don’t remember, Lupin. I blanked with the shock of the savage abduction!”“Just making sure you wouldn’t escape my cooking,” Remus winked.“Oh, dear,” Sirius gasped dramatically. He let Remus put a pair of pants on him and haul him to his feet—not because he couldn’t stop him, but because he did not want to. “You’re holding me hostage for scrambled eggs?”“How dare you,” Remus frowned exaggeratedly, a hand on his chest in outrage. “It’s eggs Benedict if you must know.” Sirius only remembered once they finished their breakfast, dressed with only Remus’ pants and sprawled on the couch. He sat up, gasping in horror. “Your surprise!”The shout made Remus jump, empty plate slipping from his fingers and landing on his thigh with a frankly hilarious sound. He blinked at Sirius, jumping up and down on the cushion next to him. Sirius huffed. “The surprise for Valentine’s! You never showed me last night. You only—very rudely I must say—sent me to bed.”“Please,” Remus scoffed, placing the plate on the table and draining his coffee in a single gulp. “You were asleep on your feet. And I fucked you anyway, if you remember.”Sirius’ face heated up, so he intensified his pout. “That's irrelevant. What’s important is that you deprived me of my surprise, and now you must show me.”Remus chuckled, a glint of mischief in his eyes. “Alright, let’s go.”Taking his hand, Remus stood from the sofa and guided him through the flat. They passed one bathroom and the master bedroom then turned down Sirius’ favourite wall, the one with exposed stone. Sirius furrowed his brows, trying to understand where the hell they were going, since that side of the house went mostly unused by them—there was Remus’ office, something like a sitting room and the guest room. As they walked down the corridor, the only option was the guest room. In a moment of total dumbness, Sirius thought Remus was offering him the spare bedroom.Remus hesitated with a hand on the door handle, and Sirius noticed, for just a moment, an unusual flicker of uncertainty in his eyes, a shyness that seemed out of place. Not like Remus had never looked unsure, or nervous—Sirius remembered his face when they talked about BDSM for the first time, how apprehensive he looked as he told Sirius that it was what he liked, and that he thought Sirius might enjoy it too if he gave it a go. So Sirius smiled at him, and stood on his tiptoes to press a kiss on his cheek.“Whatever it is, I’ll love it,” he whispered. “No need to be so nervous.”“I know, it’s just…” Remus shook his head, a small smile tugging at his lips. “I’ve been thinking about it for a while, and then you said… but it’s a bit of a risk too, you know?”Sirius smiled at him, bemused. “No, Moony. I don't know.”“Right,” Remus said through a laugh. “Only, I didn’t ask for your input and it's not how I do things with you, so I’m a bit nervous about that, I suppose.”“Darling, maybe open the door?”“Yeah, yeah, of course.” Remus seemingly startled to life and his hand shot to the key in the lock. “I chose this room because it’s the only one with a key, and I like the idea of locking the door.”Sirius hummed noncommittally as he watched Remus open the room, feeling as if he was being let into the dragon layer to bask in the treasures it housed. Though when Remus opened the door, Sirius had to admit that what laid beyond was much better than any gold mound or diamond pool, and he gasped, delighted and thrilled.Remus had built him a Dungeon. Their very own, very sexy Dungeon.Just like the Ritz soirée, the Dungeon had been an offhanded comment Sirius made once, after thoroughly complaining about the hassle of changing the sheets every time they played. If we had a Dungeon we could do this later, Sirius had huffed as he wiped his chest on the discarded bed sheet.“I wanted to do it for a while,” Remus repeated, scratching at his neck. Sirius was beaming. “I just… didn’t know what you would’ve liked, so for now there’s just a couple of things I think you’d enjoy.”Sirius couldn’t take his eyes off the dark walls of the room. “You’re a dream, Remus Lupin.”The smell of fresh paint was faint in his nose, and Sirius realised that Remus had probably done it in the weeks leading up to Valentine’s day, between running all over the place to do his job and taking care of Sirius, he found time to repaint, refurnish and rearrange an entire room for Sirius to play into.And it was absolutely gorgeous. The walls were rich maroon with veins of gold running along the surface and converging behind the large bed. And what a bed that was. Huge and dominant in the room, a dark, heavy wooden frame extended upward with thick beams like the support of a fortress. Hooks and rings glimmered along the wood, and Sirius imagined himself bound and helpless as he hung from them, completely at the mercy of Remus’ desires.He walked inside, running his fingers along the frames’ raw, unfinished wood as his eyes moved to the cross on the wall, imposing and expertly crafted, its dark wood polished to a gleam. He could already imagine Remus pressing him against it, securing his limbs and whipping his skin while Sirius cried and begged for more. A bench sat just beside it, inviting him to bend over, and raws and raws of toys, whips, flaggers and paddles, organised and carefully hung, and Sirius’ mouth watered just at the sight of them.A beautiful glass case on a small pedestal housed his collar, leash and tail, catching the light like they were the crown’s jewels, almost ceremonial. More wooden beams stretched across the ceiling like branches, anchoring rings and hooks that gleamed invitingly; mirrors everywhere, cushions everywhere, rugs everywhere; a beautiful leather armchair.Sirius’ pulse quicken as he looked around the room, struck by the care, the thoughtfulness, the way Remus had created a sanctuary for them, and he did it all by himself. Remus lay bare his devotion in the room, he imbued every detail with love and adoration, each item seemingly whispering promises of what he and Remus could become together in that space.Sirius knew he probably had more to see—the wardrobe next to the cross, the bathroom, the chest at the foot of the bed—but he had seen well enough. He turned to Remus, and his face hurt from the sheer size of his smile.“You did all this?” Sirius asked, taking a step towards him.Remus cleared his throat, shifting his weight. “I, um, I wanted it to feel ours. Somewhere we could do our thing that was separated from just being Remus and Sirius… somewhere safe, if it makes sense.”“Remus…” Sirius breathed, his beaming smile softening to something small, private. “I’ve never felt safer in my life. This is more than I could ever dream of and you made it all for us.”The line between Remus’ brows finally disappeared, and he took the final step inside Sirius’ space, taking him in his arms. “Everything in here is for you, my love,” he murmured in Sirius’ hair.Sirius closed his eyes and exhaled, happy beyond belief. He was grateful, and of course he was excited about using their room, but more than that, he was just amazed. The close attention Remus always gave him filled him with wonder, affection clawing at his chest and rumbling in his ears. The room was a testament to how well Remus understood him, to the way they shared their desires without the need to state them.Sure, Sirius had made that comment before, but he thought of needing a space out of convenience, somewhere they could play without the need to clean everything up before resting. But it was different. It was a place carved out of love and trust, Sirius had no idea he needed something like that. But he had it right there, because Remus knew, so he gave it to him. And because Sirius was just a lucky son of a bitch—Walburga, not Effy—they didn’t get the chance to use the room even once in the weeks that followed.Remus, for one, had to pull long hours at work that left him exhausted and irritated most of the time. He was trying to find a new supplier after the whole Valentine’s mess, but he hadn't been very successful.“I can’t believe people are still this prejudiced,” he growled in the middle of the dairy aisle. “It’s the year of the Lord two thousand and twenty-fucking-four and there’s still people that say ‘we don’t work with your kind of establishment’!”A woman at the end of the aisle threw them a concerned look as she grabbed her child’s hand and dragged them around the corner. Sirius bit his cheek to contain his laughter.“A club or a gay club?”“Either! Both!” Remus yelled and threw a cheese block in the cart. “They wouldn’t say when I asked, they just hung up on me!”“Tossers,” Sirius agreed. “You’re still using your usual one for now, yes? You’re not a supplier down yet?”Remus huffed, aggressively pushing the cart towards the eggs. Sirius ran to keep up with his stupidly long legs.“No, we’re still using them until the contract expires. But that’s in six weeks! And I still have to find a new one, negotiate, finalise the offer and draw up a contract.” Remus counted each step on his fingers as he walked, and the cart swerved dangerously close to the mountain of eggs they were barrelling towards. Sirius hastily caught the cart before it tipped, his mind racing to keep up with Remus’ rapid-fire words. “Then they’ll have to accept it! It takes bloody ages and I’m already late.”For his part, Sirius didn’t have much free time either, between bending over backwards to find a gallery or a museum or a studio that would take him for an internship in the summer, while trying to come up with something to do for the exhibition space McGonagall had assigned to him. And because his gorgeous brain was superior but not invincible, he decided to focus on the pressing issue of the exhibition.The thought struck him one morning watching Remus drop the teabag in their mugs and measure the steep by watering the little forest he had nurtured on the kitchen windows. It was a simple ritual, one he performed every day, and every day charmed Sirius silly. Such a small thing, so mundane on its own, but it made his fingers twitch with the need to put it on a canvas.And from there it was born: Magic of the ordinary.It wasn’t at all an original idea, and he had to find the best way to sell it to McGonagall so she wouldn't look at him like a blinded three-legged puppy. So he got to work and once he sat down with it in his studio, the concept just poured out of his mind and onto the paper.Eight to ten pieces would fit snugly in the measures McGonagall—or Minnie, as he started calling her in his head—had given him, especially with the decoration he thought of. A huge tree in the middle would do—he’d need structure for that, wood, metal for the branches so he could hang the pieces. Right, and the frames would have to sustain being suspended for two weeks.So, wood, metal, sturdy frames.Then, fairy lights, lanterns, fake candles?, torches.Then, fake moss, silk, velvet.And plants. So many bloody plants. (Fake?) (Yes, fake.)The room was going to look like a magical forest if he had to pay for it all himself.He scratched the back of his neck, trying to keep track of everything while his heart raced with excitement. “What about sound?” He muttered to himself, tapping the pencil against his chin. Maybe a soft background of nature sounds would be best in the place he had in his mind—birds chirping, leaves. Those sort of sparkling sounds would be perfect too, just to amp up the magical vibe of the forest.He picked up his phone to look up how they were called—he couldn’t very well write “sparkling sounds” in Minnie’s official document—and only then realised that he'd been ignoring it for a while. A very long list of missed calls and unread messages greeted him, a lot from James, a couple from Reg and even Lily, but the vast majority were from Remus.Sirius’ stomach dropped at the sheer amount of texts and calls, and a pang of guilt stabbed his chest. Remus had been in a rough spot lately with the supplier business, the last thing he needed was to worry about Sirius dropping off the face of the earth. A distressed whimper escaped his lips when he read the last text:
Sirius, I’m worried sick. Are you ok?
Where the hell are you? was the one right before. Without thinking, he pressed on the call button. It took half a ring for Remus to answer.“Sirius, what the fuck?!”“I’m sorry!” Sirius squeaked. “I'm so sorry, Moony. I’m at the studio and I lost track of time!”“You’re still—Sirius you’ve been in there for almost thirteen bloody hours!” Remus’ voice was strained in his ear. Sirius shrank down on the chair as he looked at the clock on the wall—yup, ten thirty. “Did you even eat at all? Did you drink any water?”Sirius winced at the edge of worry and anger in Remus’ tone. “I-I had a snack?” He said in a small voice. “A granola bar…”“Ah,” Remus scoffed on the other end. “A great feast. You can’t keep doing this, Sirius. It’s the third time in a week that you disappear like this. We had dinner with Lily and James tonight, do you remember?”Heat left Sirius face completely. He did not remember, at all. He failed to come up with anything to say because the thought of Remus being disappointed in him was almost unbearable. He breathed shakily when he heard a sigh.“Sirius?”“I-I’ll be right there, I promise,” he choked out in a rush. “I swear, I'm leaving now and-and I’ll be home in a second—I’ll run, I—”“Stop.” He heard Remus breathe deeply. “The dinner was two hours ago, I’m heading in to work now. I had that meeting with the supplier.”Remus’ tone was sharp, and Sirius realised that he had forgotten about that, too. Each word from Remus like a lead weight pulling him down, and the guilt in his chest threatened to suffocate him.“I’m so sorry…” he whispered, eyes stinging with tears. He pressed his fingers on his lids. This was his own fault, he didn’t get to cry over it.“I know you are,” Remus replied, voice a bit softer than before. “But you can’t keep forgetting things that matter, like your health.”And you, Sirius added in his brain, huffing softly when a bitter tear ran down his face anyway. He felt thoroughly scolded, like a child who hadn’t yet learned how to do as he was told.“I’ll do better, I promise…” he mumbled. Please, say it's okay, he thought.“You don’t—” Remus stopped himself, and sighed again. Sirius was going to die. “Just… go home please. And please eat something. I gotta go, now. I’ll talk to you tomorrow?”Sirius nodded, then realised Remus couldn’t see him. “Yeah,” he whispered. Then, “I love you.”Remus paused. It couldn't have been more than a second, but it felt like days for Sirius’ heart. “I love you, too.”As he walked home, he replayed the conversation in his head obsessively. Remus’s disappointment lingered under his skin, thick and suffocating. He couldn't shake the feeling that he was letting him down, at least thrice he’d done it, and his heart raced with anxiety the whole sleepless night as he thought endlessly of their conversation, until Remus’ words were twisted and warped. What if Remus was tired of it all? What if he'd had enough?As it turned out, Remus did not have enough of Sirius, but of the way he was careless with his own body. So when he came over the day after and Sirius broke down begging him to end it quickly, Remus very gently explained that he “wasn’t going to do anything so bloody stupid,” and hugged Sirius until he calmed down. Then, they made a plan for Sirius’ days, like the ones Remus had for his little forest.The excitement throbbed inside Sirius for the following week—greatly fed by the fact that Remus finally found a new supplier and had signed the contracts, which had lead to a great sex session in his office—and in no time Sirius had the whole room planned out and found nine artists willing to work with him.But for how excited he was about it, it turned out to be an unexpected journey down trauma lane, a detour he certainly did not appreciate.It started with the fourth artist he met, a middle aged woman named Poppy who was hoping to get back into her passion, and she was so nice that James had to remind him multiple times that he wasn't allowed to give her a copy of his credit card.Her work was hyper-realism, and she was damn good at it. They exchanged emails for a few days, and they were meeting for the first time at a cafe close to campus.“It might be very cliché, dear, you're allowed to laugh at it,” she said, smiling at him when he placed her green tea on the table. “But I've had this painting for a while, and it’s just perfect for what you’ve told me, I think.”“Well, the exhibition is called Magic of the ordinary,” Sirius said. “Cliché might fall under it.”She chuckled as she reached into the portfolio bag. The one she took out wasn't big, probably a 16x20, and it was breathtaking. The painting was in beautifully balanced perspective, looking down on a little girl’s head clutching at someone's trousers leg, almost hiding behind it. Instantly, Sirius wanted it.“It’s gorgeous, Poppy,” he breathed, hovering his fingers over the bright colours of the girl’s skirt.Poppy smiled. “Thank you, love. It’s my daughter a couple of decades ago,” she chuckled. “I thought of this particular work for your project because ‘magic’ was exactly what I thought when I painted it. The innate trust a child has with their mother, I think it’s a beautiful thing. And it’s magical—she was afraid of the mall, and I felt like a superhero when she put herself behind me for protection, you know?”Sirius did not know. He had no idea what the child had felt in that moment, but years spent with James’ stories about his parents gave him an abstract understanding of the sentiment. He pressed his lips together, forcing the rush of memories back and managing a tight smile.“It’s perfect.”But it was the last person he met who carved his chest open and emptied it.Their name was Mar, and they rented a studio in Park Street to work on their sculptures. As soon as Sirius entered the small space, he was hit with the smell of clay and plaster weighting down the air, and the dim light cast shadows over their intricate sculptures and glinted on the aluminium.“Hello,” Sirius said tentatively. They’ve spoken on the phone a couple of times, and Mar gave him the impression of being extremely shy.“Hi,” they responded. “You’re Sirius, right?”Sirius nodded. “Nice to meet you.”“You too.” They didn't meet Sirius’ eyes as they walked to a corner of the room, pointing at one particular sculpture that Sirius had missed between the others. “Um, this is the one.”They placed it on the table, and Sirius’ lungs contracted when he looked at it. It was made of two shapes that depicted the same person, but where one was entirely made out of clay and looked extremely fragile crumpled on the ground, the other had barbwire wrapped around them. The second shape was standing in front of the other, an arm stretched in front of them in a stopping motion. The stance was aggressive and protective all in one, and Sirius’ eyes unfocused as images flashed in his mind, of him standing between Regulus and their mother’s hand, Regulus and their father’s cane.Somehow, he managed to get through conversation with Mar about logistics and dates, nodding along and jotting down notes as his heart raced and his hands felt like they weren’t attached to his body. A cold ache had settled in his chest, and it only broke him halfway home. Sirius stumbled to a stop in the middle of the street, vision blurring and chest heaving, the air sharp and jagged as it entered his throat. He gripped a nearby lamppost, but the cold metal only intensified the trembling in his hands.It had been bloody years, yet right there on the pavement, the same visceral terror gripped his lungs and made it impossible to breathe. The memories circled and tore at his brain, each one clawing deeper and deeper, and only muscle memory allowed him to reach his door and turn the key in the lock.Brown hands reached for him the second the door closed behind him, and Sirius let himself be cradled by James’ warmth on his skin as he was pulled to the couch. He couldn’t hear what James was saying over the rumble in his ears, but he clung to his t-shirt like it was the only way he could breathe.And somehow it was, because Sirius’ lungs began to cooperate, and it let him take a full breath before choking him again, effectively avoiding passing out on their sofa. For a few moments, they stayed in silence, laying down on the soft cushions until Sirius' body stopped trembling so much.“Are you back with me, Pads?” James’ voice sounded a bit distant still.Sirius shook his head, then nodded.James huffed a soft laugh. “What happened? Did you—are you hurt?”“No,” Sirius croaked, his own voice clawing at his throat. He took a deep breath before continuing, “Just… a sculpture for—reminded me of them.”James’ face softened in front of Sirius’ eyes. He always looked so gentle when he dealt with Sirius’ memories. “Must’ve been one hell of a sculpture. You got it?”“Yeah,” he nodded. “It was… one figure was shielding another like, protecting it, and, you know…”His voice wavered, and he closed his eyes again. James pulled his forehead to his lips and pressed them together. “You saw you and Reg. Makes sense, I’m glad you got it for your thing.” He shifted a bit, and Sirius opened his eyes to determined ones. “You really did protect him, you know that, right? More than anyone ever did. You’re still doing it.”Sirius shook his head miserably. “Not enough, they—”“You were a child, Siri,” James said with a firm tone. “You did all that you could. And you got him out of there, don’t forget that. He’s safe now, because of you.”The words settled in Sirius’ brain like a balm, the truth of the statement untying the knot in his chest. Regulus was safe, he was with people who loved him unconditionally and away from canes and talons. He was studying what he wanted to study, and he thrived in a life Sirius had only dreamed of giving him when he dragged their bleeding bodies out of their parent’s house.For a moment they just lay there in silence. Then, James propped himself up on his elbow to meet Sirius’ gaze. “Do you want to call him? Just to hear his voice?”The thought was tempting, but he shook his head. “He’s got an exam tomorrow. I don’t want to bother him if he’s studying.” Which, knowing Regulus the Swot, he probably was.James nodded. “Alright, how about we move this to my bed?” He offered, wiggling his eyebrows. “I’m at risk of falling off the couch with every breath I take.”Huffing, Sirius looked at him with an eyebrow raised, waiting for the moment James realised how his question sounded. He chuckled quietly when he made an incredulous sound.“Not to fuck, you sicko!” He exclaimed, trying to bite down a grin.Despite everything, a laugh bubbled out of Sirius, easing the tension in his shoulder a bit. He swatted James’ shoulder lightly. “You’d be so lucky.”“See? Here’s the famous charm everyone loves,” James said, nudging him gently right back. Then, with a soft smile, he asked. “Want me to call Remus for you?”The offer filled him with a deep-rooted sense of relief and calm, the idea of shutting down his mind for a couple of hours, letting Remus quiet his brain in the lovely way only he could do felt more comforting than the bed or the silence. But he dreaded the thought of James feeling like Sirius was ungrateful, brushing him and what he already did to the side in favour of someone else's comfort. “Would… would you mind?” Sirius asked, unable to meet James’ eyes in shame.James seemed to see right through him, just like he always did. “Pads, you know I’ve got you anytime you need. But if your Moony is the one who’ll help you feel better tonight, I’ll call him in a heartbeat.”His voice was reassuring, warm as it washed over Sirius. “I don’t want to sound ungrateful.”“You don’t.”“Okay, then… can you call him without getting up?”James beamed, pulling his phone from the pocket of his jeans. “Sure can! Let’s get Mr Brain Quieter on the line for you!” In the end, Remus came to pick him up after Sirius shamefully accepted the offer. To his surprise, Lily arrived with him, a warm smile soothing some of the rawness Sirius still felt. She dropped a kiss on Sirius’ head when he opened the door, and another when Sirius let Remus pick him up and carry him to the car.The journey was silent, Sirius was no longer panicking like back at his flat, but memories kept flashing on his eyelids every time he blinked, and the tension was keeping his body taut and stiff. He didn’t register getting out of the car, or the lift ride, only managing to calm his brain once Remus dropped him on the kitchen table. Sirius blinked, trying to shake off the lingering coldness of the terrible images.He reached out and tugged on Remus' sleeve, voice barely above a whisper. “Make it stop, please… don’t want to think…”Remus leaned in, running a hand through Sirius’ hair as he pressed a light kiss on his cheekbone. “Whatever you want, my love,” he murmured. “What do you need?”Arms circled his waist as Remus stepped between his open legs, and Sirius dropped his heavy head on his shoulder, shaking a bit as he brought his arms around Remus’ neck. “D-don’t know,” he whimpered, lip trembling.“How about I lay you on my knees and spank you?” He teased softly, kissing down Sirius' neck. “Or maybe I can blindfold you and make you come over and over.”Those were some of his favourite things, but where they would usually bring a smile to Sirius' face, they inexplicably felt like too much for him to handle. He needed something simple, a way to feel connected and protected, and the thinking and the choices were making Sirius’ head spin. He shook his head, gripping Remus' shoulders even tighter.“Or,” he breathed, brushing his big hand on Sirius’ back. “I can put your collar on and you could just stay still and look pretty. No thoughts, just your pretty mouth warming my cock. What do you say?”Simple, still and calming. To be held close and silent.Sirius nodded jerkily, the idea already starting to ground him, shoulders already relaxing a bit. Remus picked him up again and, to Sirius’ surprise, lead him to his study. At his inquisitive noise, Remus chuckled softly.“I have to organise your surprise, my love,” he explained as he seated Sirius down on his chair. “You’ll stay nice and quiet under the desk while I organise something for my little love, won’t you?”What surprise? Why was Remus planning something? But the words caught in his throat and, when Remus took his t-shirt off and locked his collar around his neck, the questions blurred and twisted until they were gone. The weight of the leather felt comforting, snug on his skin and staking Remus’ claim, his unwavering protection. A reminder of Sirius' place.Once Remus took Sirius’ trousers off, he guided him to kneel under the desk and settled himself into the chair. The sound of Remus unbuckling his belt rung loud in the room, and Sirius shifted where he knelt.“Good doll,” he whispered when Sirius closed his eyes and opened his mouth. “There’s no Daddy today, baby. You’ll be Master’s little doll, and you’ll tap on Master’s leg if you want to use your safeword.”When Sirius nodded, Remus eased his soft cock into his awaiting mouth with gentle hands. Instantly, every nerve ending in Sirius’ body focused on the warm weight of it, and the soft sounds of Remus’ breath above him. He let himself sink down, resting his cheek on Remus’ thigh and moving his head closer, taking the tip of his cock in the back of his throat.A comforting silence wrapped around him as he slowly swirled his tongue on the soft flesh, gently swallowing the length into his throat until his nose rested on Remus’ navel. He didn’t suck it, he didn’t try to make it hard, that wasn't the point. When he breathed in, Remus’ scent flooded his mind and drove the last of the memories away, and Sirius’ body went limp where he rested against Remus’ leg.The world beyond the desk faded slowly, and Sirius slipped into that pliant part of his brain where he was only Remus’—his toy, his hole. His pliant little doll. Nothing else. With the warmth of his Master against his tongue, the press of his thigh beneath Sirius’ cheek and the stroke of his fingers in Sirius’ hair, Sirius felt time slip away. With every breath full of his Remus, his scent would seep deeper into his lungs, slowing his breaths and calming down his racing heart.It was silent, and the occasional click of a pen, or fingers typing on a keyboard, or a hitched breath, lulled Sirius further into safety, into his personal heaven where he didn’t have to be a person, because he was only born to be what his Master wished him to be. Where he was only aware of his Master’s chest rise and fall, and his cock slowly taking up more and more space in Sirius’ throat.He gagged softly when it hardened completely, the unforgiving girth of it widening his throat in a wonderful way, bringing tears to his eyes and pooling saliva under his tongue. He was small and cherished, cradled from the inside by his Master’s cock. He forced his throat to relax and take back what it had lost, and his nose was buried in his Master’s crotch hair once again.He closed his eyes and whined, suckling gently at the length in his mouth as his Master worked above him, tall and big and beautiful as he took care of his Doll just right. Sirius felt his mind blur at the edges, going hazy as he struggled to breathe properly, though he didn’t really try all that much. He was content, happy there at Master’s feet, holding him in his mouth uncaring of his own needs, only that his Master loved him and was proud of him.Every movement of the hand in his hair reminded him of his purpose, of how perfectly he just fit under Master’s desk like a good pet, keeping him company and obeying each command. Even if he choked when Master pushed his head down and his cock felt like it reached Sirius’ lungs, he didn’t complain at all, vision going white as his eyes were forced open by the force of his gag. He stayed slumped and pliant on Master’s leg even when Master used his hair to move him up and down and down and down and down.Surely, Master knew best what to do to help his Doll, just there to take it and be pretty.A Doll, so eager and adoring, with an empty mind and full mouth. Doll didn't need the thoughts, why would it? It just wanted to be useful, to be overwhelmed by the satisfaction of fulfilling its very purpose. With each passing second, Doll understood, and erased what made it think more and more until all that was left was Master’s will. Doll’s only job was to be there, open and soft, keeping Master’s heavy cock inside itself.Doll was full, it was so full, and its jaw ached but it felt good. It felt like a reward for its devotion, for its willingness to be shaped and sculpted to hold Master as perfectly as it could, keep his cock warm and secure in the softness of its throat. And when Master shifted slightly in his chair, Doll’s eyes fluttered, lashes wet with fresh tears from the stretch of Master's love. It didn't matter that its eyes were glassy and its throat pulsed with laboured breath, not when Doll was being useful and good, not when Doll knew it would hold Master inside as long as he wanted it to.And Master’s grip on his Doll’s hair was everything, anchoring it and guiding it and reminding it of the only thing that truly mattered. It was the best, Master was the best.Each thrust into Doll’s mouth made Doll shiver where it was resting on Master’s leg, and Doll's vision blurred with tears again, though Doll didn’t mind. It didn’t care that its throat tightened or that its lungs burned, because Master was filling it up completely, stretching it to his pleasure in a wonderful way that made Doll feel truly, truly complete. Jaw slack, pliant, perfectly modelled to cradle Master’s cock as he used it. Doll’s throat would clench each time Master’s cock pushed deeper, and Doll would whine around him and roll its eyes back, adoring his Master, so grateful to be owned and dizzy with excruciating love.It felt no fear, not even when its head spun and it couldn’t breathe at all, only deep devotion, and each discomfort, each pain in its body was a token of Doll’s love. It was a way for it to show that it belonged to Master, and to Master only. And when Doll’s body stupidly moved to get it to breathe, Master’s hand tightened and kept it in place. Doll was so grateful for it, so grateful that Master reminded Doll’s body of its purpose, that Master reassured it that Doll would never need to worry, that all it needed to do was stay where he put it, because Master did know best.And when Master’s cock came in Doll’s mouth, Doll twitched and whimpered, its own release washing over it in waves, like a perfect mirror of its Master. Doll held every drop of Master’s gift on its tongue, savouring the weight and unwilling to let it go until Master spoke. When the command finally came, Doll swallowed slowly, feeling warmth blossom deep in its chest, a flush spreading down its neck as it slumped back against Master’s thigh when he let go of its hair. Master laughed at Doll, saying how silly, how cute, and Doll’s head floated, smiling back at its Master, though it could not really understand what had pleased him so.All it knew was that Master’s amusement was beautiful, and Doll felt so proud to have given him everything.Eyes glazed and sleepy, Doll looked up at its Master with silent awe. When Master’s cock brushed softly against its cheek, Doll understood, parting its lips without hesitation, ready and willing to be filled again.Master’s softened cock rested on its tongue, and Doll's head lowered to rest against Master’s thigh again. It suckled slowly, reverently, cradling Master in the warmth of its mouth, feeling complete as it put it all back in its throat, exactly where it should be.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Sirius wasn't panicking per se, but maybe, probably, he was.He didn’t know what else to do. He had tried everything, thought of everything, but there was simply no way out of it. No solutions, no miraculous stroke of genius that would save him from this catastrophic failure, that would fix the impending disaster.It was the inevitable, inescapable collapse of everything he and Remus had built together in the last few months, it was coming and it was going to sweep the floor from under him.He kept pacing the length of the sofa, round and round he went, racking his brain for something, anything that would help him come out of that ditch, he looked at the window, glancing at the sky and hoping for some kind of cosmic intervention—a storm, something dramatic that would strike him and give him insight.But no luck, the skies remained clear, and Sirius remained in torment. What was he even going to say to him? “Sorry”? How could it ever be enough? What he did was unforgivable, the most reproachable act he could ever commit. Remus did not deserve something like that, he was warm and soft and so lovely that Sirius’ heart threatened to explode with the amount of goddamn love it held inside.Pacing around his sofa did not help, and Sirius tugged the bottom of his t-shirt into his mouth and bit down on it, feeling faint as he brought a hand on his forehead and draped himself on the sofa. James did not help, he just gave him some generic answer and abandoned him, not caring for what Sirius was going through. Lily hadn’t been useful either. He hadn’t found the courage to ask Marlene, yet.So he went to Regulus for help—or rather, Regulus came to him when he asked, panicked and screeching, to get to his house immediately. Sirius loved his brother dearly, though he did not appreciate the punch his shoulder received when Sirius came clean about his situation."I cannot believe I ran here,” Regulus hissed at him, the scowl on his face so deep that it almost split his face in two.“Reg, this is a matter of utmost importance,” Sirius complained, sitting up on the sofa only to collapse back down, the weight of his troubles too heavy on his chest. “What can I do? How can I—”Regulus hit him again, though this time with the pillow. “I will smother you,” he hissed, maliciously.Sirius was doomed. Completely, unconditionally doomed.Because Remus’ birthday was three days away, and Sirius only found one gift for him.“I really wish I could throttle you,” Regulus said through gritted teeth. “You made it sound as if somebody was coming to murder you.” He huffed, sitting on the small armchair. “What’s wrong with one gift, anyway?”“That it’s just one?” Sirius replied, though the hitch in his tone made it sound like a question. “Remus is so… so! And I only have a stupid little thing to give him on the day he celebrates being born!”Regulus sighed again, then passed his fingers through his hair. He looked around the room, as if looking for anyone who could overhear, and Sirius stilled himself for the words that were about to come out of his mouth. That was the look Regulus had whenever he told Sirius that he loved him, or when he came to Sirius for help, or whenever his emotions were laid bare for Sirius—and only Sirius—to see.“Pandora told me—well, I think I knew it before, but I never really got around to grasp it, you know?” He paused and passed his tongue on his lips. “She told me that the only meaning a gift has is the person behind it.”Yes, well, was that not the point of gifts? They came with strings, they were currency, or shackles, or a way to tip the scales and take control. That’s how it had always been for Sirius, and exactly what he was so desperate to avoid with Remus. The issue was, he had no idea how to give him something free of all that, something that did not carry all that utter shit.Sirius tilted his head, looking at his brother in confusion. He didn’t speak, though, knowing that Regulus needed to gather himself and pick his words right, get his point across without the need for repetition. Regulus hated repeating himself.“I think that we always saw them as a bribe, or a-a reward,” Regulus said quietly, looking anywhere but at Sirius. “And they were important because they said so, you know? But Pandora told me that a gift should be like… a totem of someone’s love, something that makes you remember the good times with them, the way you laughed together or the way you were there for each other.”“Like a placeholder…” Sirius breathed involuntarily. That certainly made sense—much more sense than the forced appreciation their parents’ gifts always tried to fabricate out of nothing.Regulus nodded and took a deep breath, eyes meeting Sirius’ for a moment before dropping back to his fidgeting hands. Sirius was stupidly proud of his brother for letting himself fidget like that, instead of forcing himself to appear calm and collected as their parents taught them.“So… so I think that if your gift reflects that, it’ll be enough,” he said, nodding to himself. “And Remus, well, I don’t think he even needs one from you.”Sirius loved his brother.He loved him so much, that he risked his wrath and hugged him. Hope Lupin was exactly how Sirius had expected, yet somehow nothing like it.She was caring and soft, with long brown hair and Remus’ golden eyes—big and cheeky and so lovely. Her smile seemed to welcome people wherever she was, so much so that when she opened the door of Remus’ apartment for their birthday lunch, Sirius felt as if he was walking into her home, not one where he had spent the majority of his time for several months.The greeting was warm, as soon as introduction were made, she treated Sirius as if they were long lost friends, and Sirius’ anxiety dulled a little. Hope Lupin was, after all, perhaps the most important person in Remus' life, and Sirius wanted to make a good impression, he wanted her to think that he was worthy of her son’s affection.As much as Remus had tried to reassure him, Sirius worried she’d find him too young, too immature. So he’d dressed the part, and he wasn’t surprised when Remus looked at him as though he’d grown a second head next to his own. Sirius was wearing a stupid cardigan, for crying out loud.It had taken him ages to find it even, buried in the back of his closet in the Box of Shame where he kept all his horrible clothes from school. He adjusted the collar of his shirt for what had to be the millionth time and cursed himself. Maybe he’d gone a bit too far with it. Maybe he could have avoided the monstrosities his mother had insisted on back in school—sweaters, loafers, even a tweed blazer that his great-grandfather had bought him for his thirteenth birthday.Though he’d drawn the line there—absolutely no tweed, Remus would never let him live it down.But Hope Lupin was nothing like he expected, as well, and she didn’t bat an eye at the unruly collar. She hugged him and pulled him into the kitchen, talking about the dinner they had with Sirius’ parents that evening as if they’d been planning it together for weeks.His shoulders relaxed as he told her about Effy’s cake plans, and he only had to call her “ma’am” once for Hope to snap him out of the posh shell he’d cocoon himself in.“Oh, no, love,” she gasped, stopping midair with the full plate of lunch in her hands. “I need you to unclench and drop that ma’am nonsense immediately.”Sirius blinked, feeling his cheeks warm up as he stared helplessly at an amused Remus. “I… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend—”Hope laughed then, and took Sirius’ hand to bring him back to the chair. He hadn’t even realised he’d stood. “I’m not offended, love. I only want you to act like yourself. Remus told me you’ve been anxious to meet me, and there’s really no need.”Embarrassingly, Sirius realised his palm was sweating in her hand, and it brought a spike in Sirius’ heartbeat for how disgustingly tacky it must have been. What if she thought he was some sort of fidgety child, some jittery freak who was leaching off his calm, gorgeous son? She was still holding his hand, and he was still sweating.“You’ve nothing to prove here, yes?” She continued, as if Sirius’ sweaty hand wasn’t bothering her at all. “My Remus is the happiest I’ve ever seen him, you’ve won me over a long time ago.”The words washed over Sirius like a balm, a sudden, gentle wave that calmed some of his nerves as he stared into her honest eyes. He exhaled, smiling, and slouched a bit to test the waters. But Hope only winked at him, her face somewhat satisfied.“That’s better,” she nodded. “No need to sit like you’re being interviewed, sweets.”Sirius chuckled, embarrassed and grateful, but Remus had to ruin his composure by opening his stupid big mouth.“I have some of your clothes here, if you want them,” he said, a fake innocence all over his face. “I got them washed after the other day’s… accident.”Sirius almost choked on his bite of bread. “Fucki—I mean, why would you say it like that?!”“Was it not an accident?”“No!” Sirius squeaked, eyes darting between Remus and Hope.Remus hummed, looking like he was having the time of his life. “Did it on purpose, then?”“No, I—” Sirius stammered, lava pooling on his face and neck. “It-it was but it sounds like I’ve pissed my—” A choked sound crawled out of his throat as he turned to Hope, ignoring Remus’ loud laugh. “Pardon—I mean, excuse my language! I only meant that-that… it was tea!”With twitching lips, Remus only shrugged, a picture of calm mischief uncaring of Sirius’ imminent heart attack. Sirius wanted to bite at his cheek. “I just thought you wanted to feel more like yourself, that’s all.”Sirius shot him a glare. “You could’ve just said that, you twat.”The word was out of his mouth before he could stop it, but the icy dread did not have the time to settle in his stomach because Hope’s laughter rang out in the room. Her head was thrown back, and she sounded so delighted that Sirius had to chuckle with her.“Oh, dear,” Hope gasped, a placating hand on Sirius’ arm. “He’s a tit, isn’t he? Don’t know how you put up with him.”Emboldened, and hoping to hear the beautiful sound again, Sirius replied, “His bank account sure makes it easier.”Hope let out another loud bark of laughter, and this time little snorts brightened it up even more. Sirius loved it so much, he’d probably never heard a more contagious sound in his life. It was one of those laughs that made you want to lean closer, one of those that would reach across the room and pull you in its mirth, no matter what you were doing.And the fact that it came from a mother hit Sirius with a wave of pride he wasn’t prepared for. He blinked at Hope, smiling but with an odd squeeze in his chest, and he understood that he didn’t have to do anything grand to impress her, he only had to love Remus. And that, he did plenty.Sirius smiled at the table, before looking up and meeting Remus’ soft eyes. “I think I’ll take that offer, though,” he murmured. “But only because this thing is itchy as hell.”The change of clothes helped a lot. Sirius felt instantly better in his own skin once he wore his velvet bells and one of his favourite shirts—which he thought he had lost a month ago, by the way—and he felt almost like himself once he was walking back towards the table. He stopped right before turning the corner, startled by the exasperation in Remus’ voice.“—saying!”Hope snickered and added, “You’re such a simp.”“He’s just so bloody cute! It makes me want to cry sometimes.”“I do remember you calling me in tears.” Hope chuckled, and Sirius heard water being poured. “Something about his little drawings and notes.”Sirius’ breath caught in his throat, face flushing with embarrassment as he tried to imagine that conversation between Remus and his mother. His throat tightened and he had to blink rapidly to keep the tears from welling in his eyes. He had no idea Remus would talk about the stupid little notes to anyone, let alone his mother (and in tears!). He didn’t even know if he’d kept them. Whenever they were together and he found one, Remus would smile and stare at it before rushing to snog Sirius silly. He was positive that was it, that Remus hadn’t thought much of them.Warmth spread through him as he stood there, his hands clenched in the soft velvet of his trousers, and Remus’ low voice in his ear as he continued talking to Hope, saying something Sirius couldn’t quite make out, though he felt its rumble in his bones. Had Remus kept them all? Did he have them somewhere in the house? Had he found the last one yet? The one he stuffed into the glove compartment of his car where he sketched Remus’ profile and wrote ‘This is the handsomest bloke in the world! Lucky for me, he’s all mine!’.Hope’ hummed response shook Sirius out of his head. “Well, I’m not surprised. The way you talk about him, it’s like he brings the sun up by himself.”There was a disgusting, sickening goo of stupid love inside his lungs, thick and viscous, and Sirius knew that if he could taste it, it’d be extra sweet. He clutched at his chest, smiling softly as he let the goo choke and drown him. Needless to say, Effy and Monty loved Hope, and Hope seemed just as charmed.They spent an entire hour sharing recipes for favourites of “their babies”, in case one or the other happened under their roofs for any meal, then exchanged their most embarrassing photos of young Remus and Sirius, and Sirius made fun of Remus for having photos of himself on film like some kind of dinosaur.The atmosphere of the Potter’s house managed to put Sirius completely at ease. It soothed him—the soft hum of conversation over tea, the smell of home made dishes and the feeling of being surrounded by people he loved. A stiffness he hadn’t registered vanished from the muscles in his back, and he laughed freely for the first time that day, ultimately unburdened by thoughts he had no idea were there in the first place.Birthdays with the Blacks were usually filled with cold expressions and tense silences, and somewhere in the back of his mind, he’d feared Remus’ birthday might feel a bit the same. Of course—logically—he knew he didn’t need to worry about that, especially with Effy’s incessant chatter and the warmth she already held for Remus, but Sirius worried anyway. He was a worrier.It all felt a bit more home, though, with Hope there on the couch, laughing as Monty poured a bit of scotch in his tea when Effy’s back was turned. Her laugh was as loud as it was in Remus’ flat, and it spread through the room like sunlight. From the moment she arrived, she dispelled each of Sirius’ little tensions with ease, either complimenting his outfit after he changed (Oh, love, you look gorgeous! I have a box of old clothes from my uni days if you want to rummage through it!), or linking their arms together on the walk down the Potter’s driveway (Finally someone of normal height. I can never do this with the annoying giant over there!), gently pressing her fingers on Sirius’ frown at Effy’s mention of his birth parents (Don’t let them give you wrinkles, love. They don’t deserve it!).She seemed to understand Sirius in a way that felt terrifying and comforting, as though she’d sensed the leftover shadows that followed him and decided, simply, to chase them away with an unapologetic wave of her hand. Sirius wished Regulus and the others were there too, so she could do it with him as well.And when James and Lily showed up, a present each and a bottle of wine, Sirius’ grin simply became a permanent fixture, something that could not be dislodged from his face, especially after James charmed Hope silly from the moment he arrived.“Remus!” He had yelled once he and Lily had greeted everyone. “We were waiting for your mother, not your younger sister! I see she took all the beauty for herself, eh?”Hope blinked at him, then grabbed James and turned to Effy. “I’m going to keep this one,” she said, pushing Remus towards her impatiently. “You can have him. He’s nice sometimes.”“Deal!” Effy laughed, mirroring Hope and James and linking her arm to Remus’. “Though you can’t give him back when he cries because he burned tea.”They all laughed, but Sirius just smiled, looking at their faces and fighting a war with his tears. He loved them. He loved each one of them so fucking much. The sitting room was bathed in the warm glow of the chandelier, and Remus looked like a gentle king sitting in Monty’s armchair. Gifts wrapped in different coloured paper were lined up on the low coffee table, and James took it upon himself to set the scene as he best thought, though he was a bit sad when Hope told him Remus had already opened her present.The first present was from him, of course, because he was the one who placed them on the table. He had bought Remus a two years subscription to an audiobook thingy, and Sirius smiled at Remus’ shocked expression: “You always complain that you don’t have time to read books anymore,” James said. “Now you can listen to them!”The second present was from Lily because, apparently, James couldn’t stand the thought of anything Lily being too far away from him. Sirius laughed at him and called him a sap, and James rudely reminded him (and told the whole room) of the time Sirius had called him, whining because Remus went to the bathroom and left him alone on the couch. Sirius accepted defeat in a perfectly mature way: throwing a pillow at his face. Lily had gotten him a leather bound twenty-four months planner—though she made sure to ease Remus’ untold concerns, pointing out that the leather was absolutely vegan.Third and fourth were Monty and Effy—a bottle of what Sirius thought was whiskey and a coupon for a two weeks vacation anywhere he wanted—and they brought such a big smile on Remus’ face that Sirius wondered how the others could stand to look directly at him without being blinded by the force of it.The last one was his gift. Sirius was about to be sick.It felt like Remus’ arm moved in slow motion, reaching for the package on the table, the last one there, with yellow and green ducks on it—the paper had looked cute when he saw it at the store, but right there it looked nothing short of stupid.The room was quiet, and Sirius’ palms took on that clammy quality again.“It’s, um,” Sirius heard his voice come out of his mouth, the rumble of his heartbeat making the words shake a bit. “It’s not m-much, really. Just something I—well, something I made.”It had seemed like a good idea at the time, but how could it compare to the luxury of a vacation, or the practicality of a planner? Sirius knew Remus would never mock him, and apparently liked their little notes, but what if he didn’t get it? What if he thought it was a childish gift for his thirtieth birthday, or didn’t care at all?His chest tightened when Remus looked at him. “You made this?”His voice was soft but, for some reason, Sirius’ hands started to shake. “Yeah. It’s, um… don’t expect anything too… I just—I thought…” He faltered, his voice trailing into nothing.“Open it! Open it!” James’ voice made him startle and he almost dropped his glass.Remus didn’t rush. He peeled back the paper carefully, his movements methodical—reverent even, and Sirius thought he might very well explode.He held his breath as Remus stared at the painting with an unreadable expression. It was a simple scene—Remus standing in the morning sunlight, watering his plants, a soft, serene smile on his face. The light kissed his skin and reflected a bit on his freckles, a detailed that had taken Sirius uncountable tries to get right, with the gentle greens and golds playing across his features. Sirius felt like he’d captured a secret moment of peace, a version of Remus that existed just for him.But the silence was cracking his composure, and Sirius shifted uncomfortably. “I know it’s not much,” he rambled, words tumbling out in a rush. “But I thought—I thought maybe you’d like it? If you don’t, it’s fine. I can—”“Sirius,” Remus interrupted, his voice breathy. He looked up with glassy eyes, something Sirius wasn’t sure he could handle seeing. “It’s gorgeous.”Sirius blinked. “What?”Over Remus’ shoulder, Lily’s eyes were huge. “It’s beautiful, Siri,” she said.Her sentence seemed to unlock the others in the room and soon they were all staring and talking over themselves. Sirius’ cheeks burned under the sudden onslaught of praise, and he wasn’t sure what to do. James and Hope were grinning at each other, Monty nodded approvingly as he pointed something to Lily on his right, but Sirius’ eyes couldn’t move.Remus was holding the painting like it might shatter if he breathed too hard, fingers brushing over the edges of the canvas absentmindedly. His eyes moved from one detail to the other quickly, over and over again and sometimes, his brows would twitch as if in surprise.Then, he looked right into his soul, and Sirius stomach lurched and dropped to the floor. He watched as Remus tilted his head in that silent way that meant he was seeing right through Sirius. It was a terrifying thought, but Sirius let himself be seen.“It’s perfect,” Remus said. Even though it was a whisper, his voice left no room for doubt. “Thank you, my love.”Sirius’ breath hitched in the inhale. “You’re welcome.”The rest of the evening passed in a blur, and Sirius could feel Remus’ eyes on him for most of it. Cake devoured, stories exchanged, they drove Hope all the way to her house in Richmond. Sirius barely registered the ride back from there, falling asleep in the twenty minutes it took to get to Remus’ house. He dreamed, short and sweet, of Remus smiling up at him as Sirius brought him tea on the couch, and when they reached the lift, he couldn’t resist kissing him for the entire ride.“I can’t believe you made that for me.” Lying on the bed, Remus murmured the words against the back of his neck, and his arms were wrapped around Sirius’ waist so tight, they looked like one person.Sirius turned in his arms, making them both bounce on the mattress, and his nose filled with the scent of minty toothpaste when Remus huffed a laugh. “You don’t have to put it in the house if you don’t want to.”Remus arched a brow, his lips quirking slightly. “If I had the space, I’d hang it right in front of the door.” His voice quietened as he added, “Is that how you see me?”Sirius breathed slowly and nodded, keeping their conversation in the small, fragile bubble of comfort between them, ignoring the way his face started to burn. “It’s like you’re made out of gold,” he said in the exhale.Right there, Remus only stared. There was a faint light coming from the window behind Remus, and his eye shone with it. It softened the sharp edges of his features, and for a moment, Sirius thought he looked almost unreal, something too beautiful to touch.But he reached up and found that he could touch, he could trace his fingers over the freckles he had spent hours painting, getting each one just right. “I see light and kindness and strength, and I see all of your love—for me, for your friends…” He paused, a teasing smile flickering across his lips. “For your plants.”Remus’ expression softened into a smile, one of those that made Sirius feel like melting in a puddle of love and bone-deep obsession. His finger brushed a stray strand of hair from Sirius’ face tenderly, reverently. “You’ve filled every quiet, empty place there was inside me,” he whispered. “You make me whole, my love…”As he blinked quickly, Sirius tried to breathe around the lump forming in his throat. Remus pressed his lips together, hesitating, and Sirius’ voice shook when he spoke. “What?”“I don’t want to scare you,” Remus whispered, almost to himself. He closed his eyes for a long moment. When he looked back at Sirius, Remus’ eyes shone with raw, undisguised devotion. “I’m afraid you’re it for me, Sirius. I won’t ever love anyone like I love you.”The words were so heavy between them, but Sirius wasn’t scared. He didn’t shy away from them. Instead, he leaned in, resting his forehead to Remus’. “You won’t scare me with that, because I feel just the same.”And wasn’t that the truth? He knew it when they started dating, he knew it every time Remus’ eyes fell on him and made his skin tingle—hell, he knew it the first time he set eyes on him. Sirius had never believed in fate, destiny or shit like that, not the way Pandora and Evan did, but he couldn’t deny the pull that he had felt towards Remus ever since he gifted him his first smile.Silence wrapped around them again, the only faint noises coming from behind the window, and Sirius basked in the joy of being held by Remus’ arms, of being so close that he could feel his exhales on his face. With Remus, he felt at peace, utterly grounded.Tears pushed in the back of his eyes as he listened to Remus’ breathing matching his own and felt their legs tangle under the thick duvet. Yes, he thought, this is it. Because how could something so mundane as laying down in bed make his heart stutter otherwise? How could he be one wrong breath from crying in relief if sharing his life with Remus was not what he was brought into this world to do?Sirius let the thought sink into his chest, seep into each one of his pores. It was warm, like the feeling of sitting close to a bonfire in a cold night, heat brushing his skin and chasing away the shivers of a life spent frozen in ice. Sirius felt Remus’ bones shift under his palm.“Why are you crying, love?”A wet chuckle bubbled out of Sirius’ throat. “I’m just so happy,” he choked out. “I never thought I could be—not this much, anyway.”“That’s good,” Remus replied with a smile, swiping the tears from Sirius’ face. “You deserve it, baby. Every ounce of happiness, love, care. And I’ll spend the rest of my life making sure you get that, if you let me.”Oh, what the fuck—Sirius was so fucking in love with the man. “You’re so bloody good at this,” he said through a chuckle that sounded more like a sob. “You always say all the right things.”“Yeah?” Remus laughed softly as well. “Did I win you over?”Sirius hummed, trying to dry is face with his hand. “I don’t know, I might need some convincing.”“Let me see what I can do.” With that, Remus leaned in and pressed a kiss on the corner of Sirius’ smile, slow and deliberate, as if he was tasting it. “How about now?”“Not yet,” Sirius shook his head.Remus made a pensive sound in the back of his throat, then leaned in again, brushing his lips on Sirius’ nose, then on both of his cheekbones. “Now?” Sirius shook his head again, grinning.So Remus pushed himself on one elbow, effectively rolling Sirius on his back as he ducked to kiss right below his jaw, where Sirius was most ticklish. Sirius giggled—fucking giggled like a schoolgirl. “Now?”“You’re close,” Sirius breathed out through his giggle. “But not quite—”The rest of the sentence was stolen by Remus’ mouth on his, and Sirius felt his body go boneless under his. It wasn’t chaste, Remus went straight to licking into his mouth with fervour, making Sirius feel the texture of his tongue on his own, on his palate, the pressure of it behind his teeth. Remus kissed him and it felt like being eaten greedily, picked apart piece by piece and placed on a silver platter for him to enjoy languidly, a meal that had been craved but also needed to be savoured.Remus pulled back to let him breathe, and Sirius found that he’d have much preferred never to breathe again. He would pass out if it meant being separated, so he pulled Remus’ mouth back on his own with a desperate whine. And Remus let him have it, pressing his body on Sirius’ and burying his fingers in his hair as he licked into his mouth. Sirius could feel the smirk on him.When they separated, Sirius’ lips felt swollen and tingling and his breath was shallow. Remus lingered above him, taking in Sirius’ dishevelled state.“What about now?” He asked, his voice low.“I—yes, yeah,” Sirius stammered, trying to clear the fog from his brain.Remus laughed softly, brushing their noses together. “Good,” he replied with a smile. “I wasn’t planning on stopping until you gave in.”Sirius scoffed, at himself more than the smugness. “I had no chance, did I?”“None whatsoever.”“You’re a wanker,” Sirius lamented. One moment after, his face burned as he remembered what he planned on doing the moment they got home. “Speaking of wankers! I um… I had another gift for you.”“Another one?” Remus asked. “Wait, ‘speaking of wankers’?”Sirius snickered at his own cleverness. “Yep. ‘Cause today was not only your birthday, but Daddy’s birthday too.” He smiled when Remus snorted, even if his face was burning. “Though I’m afraid we’re going to have to wait until tomorrow to act on it.”Remus smiled and hummed. “You’re so considerate, baby,” he said, brushing their lips together. “What did you have in mind?”“I thought maybe you’d like to pick something from err… from my soft limits?” Sirius mumbled, the pitch of his voice making it sound like a question rather than a proposition.Remus stilled for a moment, his eyes narrowing slightly as he processed Sirius’ words. Then, a wicked grin spread across his face, slowly and dangerously close to unravelling Sirius’ resolve, a plea already on the tip of his tongue.“You’ve been doing some thinking, have you?”Sirius squirmed under the intense gaze, feeling heat creep up his neck and in his navel. “Y-yeah. I wanted to do something special for Daddy and I thought…” he trailed off, embarrassment making him unable to meet Remus’ eyes.“That’s very sweet of you, little love,” Remus hummed. Sirius felt the vibration of his voice in his own chest. “But are you sure? You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, birthday or not.”“I’m sure,” Sirius replied quickly. Way too quickly. Remus laughed at him. “I want to—I want to be good. For Daddy.”“You’re always good for Daddy,” Remus responded without missing a beat. “I’d love to, then. Tomorrow we can choose, but we won’t do anything. I won’t be in the right headspace.”Sirius tilted his head in worry. “Why?”“Ma’ and I are visiting Da tomorrow,” Remus said simply. Sirius felt stupid for not considering it. It was Remus’ birthday, after all. “Do you want to come? Shinfield cemetery is quite beautiful this time of year.”“I—” For a few beats, Sirius didn’t know what to say. He just stared at Remus, eyes wide and lips trembling. “You’d want me to come? To see your dad?”“I want you with me all the time,” Remus smiled, shaking his head like it was obvious. “I’d shrink you down and keep you in my pocket if I could. Besides,” he looked down, and Sirius saw adoration on his face. “He would’ve loved you.” Shinfield was, indeed, gorgeous. The family crypt at the edge of the Black estate had always held a morbid beauty, but Sirius had preferred admiring it from a distance rather than stepping into a space filled with hateful ancestors and, as Pandora once put it, objectively bad vibes. He distinctly remembered her and Evan taking an exaggerated step back from him and Regulus after a funeral, declaring their auras awfully tainted and in desperate need of cleansing.He’d half-expected the same oppressive weight from Shinfield Cemetery—the macabre beauty of sorrow and decay. But as they walked, Sirius was surprised to see how alive it felt. Rows of headstones stretched out before them, each one surrounded by bursts of colour: flowers, tiny potted plants, a few drawings, and even the occasional wind chime hanging from a tree branch. The air smelled of earth and blossoms, and sunlight filtered softly through the trees.It didn’t feel like a place for mourning. It felt gentle, soothing. Healing, almost.Hope smiled softly when she spotted her husband’s stone.“Messy as always, eh, lover?” She commented, crouching down to pick the few small branches that were out of place in the otherwise impeccable space. “One day I’ll tire of cleaning after you, you know?”Her voice was quiet, tinged with the teasing warmth of a life spent side by side. Sirius could hear the sadness underneath, but found himself huffing a laugh with Remus at her jab. Sirius watched as he helped Hope by brushing away a couple of stray leaves, unsure of what to do with himself as their hands smoothed the grass and adjusted the flowers with practiced care.The small bouquet in his hands gave him something to focus on as he waited silently. He stared at it, for once in his life immensely proud of something he had made. That morning, he’d bought the flowers on their way to Richmond, and spent the whole ride to Reading arranging and rearranging them. In the end, the result was a success in Sirius’ eyes: a ring of pink lilies circled an intricate web of forget-me-nots and irises, carefully arranged in a spiral. Sirius had shown it to them when they got out of the car, and Remus had smiled and kissed him softly on the cheek.“It’s very beautiful, dear,” Hope beamed when Sirius perched his flowers in one of the vases. “They make Lyall feel very handsome, I’m sure.”For a moment, Sirius just stood there, watching as Hope fussed over the bouquet, her movements tender and experienced, and listening as she chatted away with Lyall, talking so fast Sirius had some trouble following her racing thoughts. She brought Lyall up to speed on their neighbourhood’s gossip, on her hometown’s gossip, about the price of petrol and eggs and complained about the death of the Queen: “You know how I feel about that Charles! Good for nothing, innit? Ah, Liz really left us in deep shit, lover.”Sirius couldn’t help but smile at the rhythm of Hope’s voice, the way her words seemed to pile up around her and fill the space with a gentle chaos. The ground where she knelt looked just a touch more lively, and Lyall’s stone seemed to shine brighter than the others. She spoke with such ease, as though the divide between the living and the dead was nothing more than a thin veil, one which was see-through and easy to pass, and Sirius imagined a man mirroring her, seated just on the other side, nodding and laughing along Hope as she went on about the mischiefs of a little girl in their neighbourhood.Never in his life had he witness such a pure conversation between the living and the dead, and Sirius realised with a start that the reason for it was quite a simple one. There was undeniable love in Hope’s actions—cleaning the stone, tidying the space, rambling on about her life. Or rather, Sirius thought sadly, the life she’d have had with Lyall if it hadn’t been for one horrible accident.There was none of the cold satisfaction of the Blacks, where their respect were paid to the money the deceased had left them more than to the person they had been.There was only love, and not one the Blacks indoctrinated Sirius and Regulus with, the one that is transactional, built on centuries of pride and status. Not the one designed to control and manipulate, but rather a devotion that ran so deep, Hope felt at ease talking to her husband, certain he was listening intently from the other side. Sirius had never really seen it before, a Maman who felt that kind of love.“And now for the juiciest gossip so far, lover,” she said, and suddenly turned to face Sirius with a smile. “Remus got a boyfriend!”Sirius’ brain ground to a halt. Of all the things Hope might have said, that was not on the list. His mind scrambled for a response, anything that wouldn’t make him sound like an idiot or, worse, like he was intruding on something sacred. “Hello,” he blurted, and immediately cringed. Brilliant, Sirius. Absolutely outstanding.In a burst of courage, he stepped closer to Hope and settled with her on the soft grass. She smiled at him before turning to the stone, staring straight into the eyes of the man in the picture. He was handsome, around forty, with a thick beard and a beaming smile of perfectly straight teeth. He was holding a beer up in cheers to the person who took the photo, and Sirius felt his lips stretch in a smile.“He’s a looker, isn't he?” Hope whispered loudly, winking up at Remus when he chuckled. “Funny and charming too. An artist! You should’ve seen what he did for Remus’ birthday.”Only at that moment, Sirius noticed the epitaph.
Learn how to dance in the rain,
and you won’t have to wait for clear skies.
Now go get a pint.
A quite undignified snort escaped him before he could stop it, and he clapped a hand over his mouth, horrified. Hope turned towards him with furrowed brows, but before Sirius could say anything, she threw her head back and cackled loudly.“Read the headstone, eh?” Remus asked next to him, amused. “Da’ used to say it at least twice a day.”“The old hags at the church were appalled when they read it,” Hope giggled. “The family and his lads thought it was hilarious, so we all gathered here after the function and had a pint with him.”Remus hummed. “Da’ would’ve loved it. Pretty sure it was him who blew Mrs Margaret’s hat straight into a puddle mid service.”“Ha! Of course it was,” Hope laughed. “He never could stand the witch.”Laughing, Sirius glanced back at the photograph, at the easy smile and the raised pint. He could almost imagine Lyall rolling his eyes at Hope’s teasing and hear his hums as she gossiped. It struck him then, how easy it was for them to be a family, one who loved without pretence and had learned to dance in the rain. It felt reckless, a love so unconditional and free, but maybe that was what made it simple—what made it real.Sirius stared into Lyall’s eyes, and right there, it was as if Lyall was staring right back, inviting him into the conversation with a nod and a pint.So Sirius leaned his head on Remus’ shoulder, brushing his fingers against the soft grass, and started talking.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
“You’re really not coming?”Sirius sighed again at Barty’s words, shaking his head. “Nope.” The pop of the P almost deafeningly loud. “Remus and I have had the night planned since his birthday, so—”“But you always come to movie nights!” Barty lamented for what had to be the millionth time. “Besides, who’s going to make fun of Reg with me when he cries?!”“Somehow, I don’t think you need help with that,” Regulus deadpanned, which sent both Barty and Evan in a fit of laughter.Even Effy gave a chuckle, though hers was much more subdued, and Sirius had the honour of witnessing the split second of unadulterated joy on Regulus’ face for making her laugh, before his expression morphed back into his usual scowl. Sirius smiled—secretly, of course.“Whose turn is it this time?” She asked, narrowing her eyes playfully at Barty.“Mine,” Evan said. “And I want to see something—”“Let me guess,” Barty interrupted him with a pout. “Something with that Jordan guy.”Whatever Evan was about to say was interrupted by Monty’s voice announcing lunch was ready. They all stood and began to wonder towards the dining room, and Sirius tried to stifle his smile as he watched Regulus and Pandora fasten their pace to get to Monty before everyone else. They always prefer sitting next to him, ever since the first time Sirius had brought them all to the Potter’s.It had been almost four years since that hopeful night. Sirius still remembered the way his stomach twisted with anxiety, wondering how a band of mistreated children would be received; but, of course, he needn't have worried. In true Potter fashion, Effy and Monty opened their arms and their home without asking questions. They offered meals to be eaten, shoulders to cry on and ears to listen, and four more lost ducklings had been added to their ever-growing collection of strays.The day they had moved out of London had been joyful and bright on the front, but behind the scenes, Sirius had to console a very distraught Regulus and Barty (separately, of course, and with a vow of silence), who believed the idyllic life they had found to be over. Sirius could only calm them down after confirming the mandatory weekly lunches Effy had promised, on top of their open doors for each and every one of them.From the end of the corridor, they could already hear James animatedly talking to Winnie about her recipe for the broth. When they shuffled into the dining room, the usual eyebrow was raised on Winnie’s face as she listened to James’ tirade on the merits of chilly chops in the boiling water instead of chilly powder.“I’m just saying, it gives it a bit more punch to it,” James declared, shuffling a seat down and letting Regulus have the chair next to Monty.“Again with the punch?” Winnie asked, exasperated. “It’s soup, James, not a bloody duel!”“It’s ambitious!” James exclaimed as he nodded, as if that proved his point.Effy swooped in the conversation before Winnie had the time to destroy James with a glare. “Let it go, you menace, before Winnie decides to poison your lunch.”Winnie huffed as she sat right next to said menace. “Poison is so uncouth and impersonal. I would think stabbing to be a better death.”“And she’s got plenty of knives,” Regulus nodded. “I’d concede victory if I were you, Potter.”“How come I’m still Potter, but you are on name base with my parents?”“They’re the original ones,” Evan shrugged. “It’s only right.”The laughter that followed filled the room as the sound of chairs scraping against the floor blended with clinking plates and the hum of chatter. Family lunches were always a slightly chaotic affair, the kind of loving mess that Sirius adored with his whole heart. Evan and Pandora passing each other food without talking, Barty stealing from Regulus’ plate when he wasn’t looking, Monty and Effy exchanging defeated smiles as they listened to James try and fail to explain why the soup was better with zest, and the occasional quip from Winnie as she walked in and out of the kitchen, threatening anyone who tried to help her.Sirius’ eyes rested on James when he stayed silent for longer than three consecutive seconds. He was watching the way Barty was staring at Effy, eyes big and mouth slightly opened as he listened to her explanation of Finding Nemo, a film that Barty apparently had never seen before. Which wasn’t exactly surprising, seeing as he had spent most of his life dodging his father’s belt and fists.At first, Sirius had feared James would come to resent him for bringing so many people into his parent’s lives. Deep down, he knew that the fear was silly, as James was his parent’s son down to the last messy hair on his head, but in moment like those, where their attention was fully on someone else, Sirius worried he’d fucked it up.Then, he would see the look on James’ eyes, whether it was subtle amusement at Pandora’s stories, or joy at the way Regulus was excited to have someone to talk about Hemingway with. Or the one he had at the table, one of excruciating pain as he watched Barty’s laser focus on each word that left Effy’s mouth as she told Barty that he didn’t have to worry, because Nemo was found in the end.It hit Sirius then, as it often did in moments like that one. James wasn’t resentful, he wasn’t bitter or jealous of the attention Effy lavished on their newfound family; that wasn’t in his nature. No, it was a sorrow that came from watching the cracks in someone else’s armour and knowing he couldn’t erase the pain that caused them.If anything, he was proud to see the people Sirius had dragged into his life find a home within his own, he found happiness in letting people cling to his parents like they were life rafts in a storm.“I had them for myself for almost two decades,” he had told him once, when Sirius had a crisis about it. “Besides, I’ve always wanted siblings.”Sirius linked their ankles together and James eyes snatched to his. They looked at each other for a long moment, in which Sirius saw the ache of helplessness turn into understanding. Sirius felt words pressing at the back of his throat, the need to reassure James that he wasn’t alone in what he was feeling, but he held them back. They would talk about it when they were alone, if he wanted to.“Alright there, Prongs?” He quietly asked, instead.James held his gaze for a few breaths, then gave him a small smile. “Yeah.”Sirius smiled back and nodded. By the time he and James packed up left overs and tossed them in the car, Sirius was ravenous again. It didn’t help that the only thing he’d eaten all day was the broth, curtesy of the very detailed diet plan for the cursed night he had ahead of him. Though he found himself more and more excited at the prospect of a long play session with Remus, he was a bit put out by passing on dessert.If someone had told him six months ago that he’d let someone else tell him what to eat, he would’ve probably yelled at them to fuck off, then spent at least two hours crying in bed with James. But when Remus had sat him down and explained to him that what they were going to do required precise preparation—diet, timing, headspace, every bloody thing—Sirius hadn’t even hesitated. He trusted Remus, in ways he hadn’t thought possible before.Sirius had spent something close to a minute staring at the number on the small piece of paper. That messy 37 had stared right back, as though mocking him. They’d decided to pick the number randomly from Remus’ selection of soft limits, which had seemed like a good idea at the time, and 37 was the one Sirius had simultaneously dreaded and hoped for.“We don’t have to do it, my love,” Remus had said in his stupid soft voice. “We can—”“No, no,” Sirius had interrupted, the words coming out in a choked rush. “It’s just um… a lot?”“It is,” Remus nodded. “Do you want to pick something else?”Sirius had shaken his head, the gesture sharp and resolute despite the knot tightening in his chest. Terrified, yes—but resolute. “No. We said random, and it’s... it’s random.”Remus had just nodded, conceding with a soft smile. Still, he’d added a compromise—because Remus always added compromises exactly when Sirius needed them. “Why don’t you pick another play from your threes, then? Something you’re sure to enjoy.”Looking back, he hadn’t been exactly smart with his choice—well, that wasn’t necessarily true.Number 37 was none other than enema play, the very one that had taken Sirius a full five minutes of deliberation with himself to rate. The thought alone threatened to send him into hysterics, the concept of sharing that process with Remus of all people so embarrassing it almost made him sick up.But Remus and his stupid compromises had worked like a charm to calm Sirius’ racing mind, and the choice had seemed perfect in Sirius’ head right then. Enema play meant thorough preparation, and that was exactly what was needed for a deep penetration scene. So the correlation was an obvious one. But the daunting task of waiting for the day to come had been nothing short of maddening.The thought of standing in the bathroom with Remus next to him, knowing exactly what was going on inside him—the sheer mortification had been the fuel of his wanking sessions throughout the entire week that had passed. Not to mention the anticipation for what would come after when they would finally use the toy Remus had bought for him months ago during their sexy haul.Sirius was so lost in his own head that he did not even register the journey home in James’ car, and did not listen to a word his friend had said about the impromptu trip Lily and he decided to go on. On a normal day, Sirius would have teased him about it, for being a bloody simp.“Alright, mate,” James said, breaking through the haze of Sirius’ thoughts as he parked in front of their door. “You’ve been way too quiet. You good?”Sirius blinked, forcing himself back into the moment. He looked to James, and the grin that grew on his face was something entirely lewd. “Always, darling. Just mentally preparing for my wild night ahead.”James snorted. “Right. Well, don’t love each other too hard. And don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”“Pretty sure that leaves me with, like, no limits whatsoever,” Sirius shot back, picking the leftovers out of the car.James laughed back, pushing him towards the door unceremoniously. Sirius barely managed to keep himself upright whilst trying not to drop the food, and only kicked James’ shin once they made it inside and the bags were safely placed on the kitchen table. Then he laughed to James’ face when he hopped on one foot, clutching his injured leg.“Bloody hell, Pads!” He whined. “You’ve got pointy shoes on!”Sirius sniffed haughtily. “That’s what you get. You tried to murder me just now!”“Christ,” James huffed. “You’re so dramatic.”“It wouldn’t affect just me you know?” Sirius continued, stocking the Tupperwares into the fridge in neat lines. “What would your parents do? How would Reg cope? Oh, Lord save Remus’ soul from the deep depr—”“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” James rolled his eyes hard, but managed to dodge the empty bag Sirius threw at him anyway. “Speaking of Rem, shouldn’t you be getting ready for the date and what surely will be a night of raunchy sex?”Sirius gaped at him, clutching his pearls in scandalised horror. “How dare you lie about my character?! I am pure as snow.”“Sure are,” James muttered. “As if I didn’t have to bleach my eyes two weeks ago after walking in on you getting your arse eaten.”A very high-pitched squeal crawled out of Sirius’ throat. “Yeah, alright!” He yelled, face burning. “I yield! You win this round!”James smirked triumphantly as he headed towards his room. “That’s what I thought.”Sirius sulked all the way to his own room, colourfully cursing James’ whole existence in his head, trying to come up with a good one liner he could use the next time they had a tête-à-tête. The wanker was getting good, and he suspected foul play in the form of copying Lily’s quips. He picked up his towel and slippers, but as he headed to the bathroom, James ran inside before he could even put a hand on the handle, and Sirius recited all the expletive he’d only yelled in his head earlier.“You’re gonna have to clean your arse after I do!” James yelled from inside, and Sirius groaned so loud that it echoed off the walls, together with James’ laughter.“Jesus grant me patience, and keep me out of fucking jail.”From behind the door, James cackled even louder, clearly revelling in his victory. “Admit it, babe, you’d miss me too much.”Sirius banged his head on the door for good measure before opening it and sitting on the toilet lid. “The only thing I’d miss is not having to fight you for the shower every bloody day!”“Keep telling yourself that," James said, water muffling his voice slightly.“What the hell am I supposed to do while you pretend to star in a bloody Pantene ad?"“You could watch me kill it,” James said sweetly. “Or you could think about Remus. I’m sure you’ve got plenty of inspiration to keep you occupied. Though I’d prefer not to witness any wanking.”Sirius’ face flamed again, and he scowled at the shower curtain. “I hate you, Potter.”“No, you don’t,” James replied cheerfully, opening said curtain and flicking water at his face. The drive to Remus’ flat was mostly quiet, save for the soft hum of the radio and the occasional commentary from James about drivers who didn’t understand how indicators worked. Sirius’ leg bounced restlessly, fingers tapping against the strap of his overnight bag. He tried to focus on the music, on the rhythm of the city streets passing by, but his mind kept circling back to it.He almost couldn’t believe what he was about to do, if he had to be honest.He had carefully prepared himself after James’ surprisingly quick shower, making sure everything was as pristine as possible. Down there, where it mattered most. Absolutely no incidents, was the thought that had kept him going through the uncomfortable process of cleaning himself more thoroughly than ever before, even if Remus had been so patient with him and assured him time and time again that they’d do it however Sirius wanted to. Remus knew him, he’d respect Sirius’ boundaries and know for certain if anything felt off.But Sirius didn’t know, and not knowing freaked him the fuck out.By the time they pulled up outside Remus’ building, Sirius managed to send his stomach into a full blown revolution, while simultaneously wishing he could jump out of the car and sprint upstairs. James stopped with a sharp turn of the wheel, throwing the car into park like it owed him money.“This is you,” he said, grinning as he unbuckled his seatbelt. “I don’t know what you two are about to do, but if you’re so tight-arsed about it, it ought to be something very good.”Sirius gaped at him. “I’m so not!”“You so are,” James laughed. He looked into Sirius’ eyes for a moment, before sniffing loudly and continuing. “I’m kidding. You’re gonna be all right, yeah? But I’ll keep my phone close if you need me.”Sirius really wanted to roll his eyes at him and say something back, but it all got tangled into the mess that was his head at that moment, sitting in the car eleven floors below Remus. So instead, he glanced up at Remus’ building, pulse quickening and hands sweating around the strap of his bag.“Go on then,” James said gently, and he brushed his fingers lightly on Sirius’ hand. “You’ve got this.”Trust James to switch from being a pest to a proper life saver. It was maddening, but Sirius was glad for it as he stepped out and watched him go. Defusing Sirius’ crises had always been a field in which James was a professional, after all.The keys tingled when he fished them from his bag, and the lift ride had never felt so long.“You don’t have to knock every time,” Remus’ amused voice greeted him from inside the house. Sirius’ stomach swooped. “I gave you the keys myself.”“Maybe I don’t want to abuse the privilege,” Sirius replied, sliding the keys into his jacket pocket. “Or maybe I just like keeping you on your toes.”Remus was leaning against the doorway of the kitchen, arms crossed and a soft smile on his lips. He looked extremely hot right there, in his threadbare Nirvana tee and joggers. His hair was damp—Sirius’ absolutely favourite thing—and he looked so happy to see him that Sirius almost pinched himself to make sure he hadn’t dreamt him up. Sirius could not stop himself from running into his arms, earning a small laugh.“Hello, my love,” Remus murmured in his hair. “How was your family lunch?”Sirius buried his face in Remus’ chest, inhaling the clean, woodsy scent of his shampoo. Like he’d expected, it grounded him, became the exact anchor Sirius needed to let go of some of his anxiety. That was always a sure thing with Remus.“T’was nice,” he mumbled back, sliding his hands under Remus’ shirt. “Missed you there. Effy says hi.”“I missed you too.” Remus kissed the top of his head. Sirius would never admit it out lout, but he loved that he was the perfect height for that. “Sorry I couldn’t come today. Inspection day sucks.”“Sucks,” Sirius pouted. He could feel Remus’ heartbeat on his lips.Remus chuckled softly, the sound vibrating under Sirius’ cheek. “I know, my love.”Sirius’ hum was muffled against Remus’ chest as he pressed closer, his fingers brushing lightly against the warm skin of Remus’ back. “Reg made a whole speech about you being the most palatable of us all. He likes you.”“He called me ‘palatable’,” Remus said.“That’s just Regulus for ‘enjoyable’,” Sirius explained, propping his chin on Remus’ sternum to look him in the eyes. It was quite an awkward perspective on Remus’ face, but he was still gorgeous.Remus raised his eyebrows at him. After a bit of silence, he said, “You’re very cuddly tonight.”“Are you complaining?”The answer was quick. “Never.”Satisfied, Sirius hummed again and return his cheek to Remus’ chest. His mind was quieter there, when it was focused on the rhythm of Remus’ breathing and the gentle press of his hand on the back of his head. It was good, safe, and it made the noise dull just enough for Sirius to function.“Are you hungry?”At that, Sirius frowned. Hungry? Yes, he was, but they had plans. Did Remus forget? Did he change his mind? Sirius pulled back slightly, hands frozen on their path over Remus’ ribs to take in his expression, but Remus’ face remained calm and soft. If anything, his smile widened when he caught the look in Sirius’ eye.“I thought we…” Sirius started, though he had no idea how to go on with that sentence. No way in hell he was going to say it. But the thought of a change of plans made him feel disappointed—sad. He hated how small his voice sounded when he asked, “Do you not want to anymore?”“I do, my love,” Remus confirmed. “I only wanted to give you an out if you needed one.”A whine escaped him as his cheeks warmed up. “No, I—I’m ready. I want to?”“You don’t sound very convinced, baby,” Remus said. “It’s okay if you—”“I want to!” Sirius interrupted, face now burning. “Do you?”“I sure do,” he nodded. “I’m very excited.”That confession caught Sirius off guard. His eyes widened, and the blush that had been blooming on his cheeks started to creep down his neck. He squirmed slightly, trying to look anywhere but at Remus’ stupid smug face. “Excited?”“Very,” Remus repeated, tilting Sirius’ chin back up so their eyes met. “But I need you to be sure you’re okay. And if you’re not, then that’s perfectly fine too. You’re enough for me as you are.”The lump in his throat made it so hard to take a full breath. He didn’t know what he’d done to deserve someone like Remus, who could dismantle all his insecurities in a few simple words and constantly made him feel like he could do anything. “I know. I think I’m okay. Mostly.”Remus nodded, pressing a long kiss to Sirius’ temple. “Mostly is good. We can work with that.” Remus finally moved them out of the kitchen doorway and pulled Sirius’ hand until they were seated on the couch. “Do you want to start now? Or do you want to talk first?”“Um, talk about what?” Sirius asked.“How the scene is going to go, what we’ll be doing in general and in detail, safeword talk,” Remus listed. “The usual and a few things I want to discuss with you before we get into it.”“Okay,” Sirius only said.“Okay,” Remus repeated. “The scene starts here, where you’re going to undress and fold your clothes on the table for me. Then, we’ll go to the Midnight room. Do you want your collar and leash?”For some inexplicable reason, the thought of wearing his collar that night felt off—it made his skin crawl just thinking of it. “No,” he said.Remus nodded and smiled, as if he was proud. “And do you want Daddy tonight, or—”Sirius had actually thought of that on his own, thank you very much. “No, I… I think Master would be better.”“Very good, my love,” Remus chuckled. “In the Midnight room, I’ve set up the loo for us to play. There’s all we need in there, so you won’t have to be alone any more than you’d like. We’ll repeat the enema three times, then move back to the room for the rest. Now, do you want to be alone for the release of the water?”That made Sirius hesitate, his fingers twitching slightly in his lap. The idea of being alone for any part of it had his stomach turning, but he hated the thought of having any kind of accident in front of Remus. “I—Maybe just for the first one?”Remus gave a small, reassuring smile and squeezed his hand. “Of course. Thank you for telling me, my love. Do you want to choose your safeword tonight? Or stick with the usual two?”“The usual, please,” Sirius said quickly, words tumbling out before nerves could get to them.“Repeat them back to me.”“Green for go, yellow for pause, red for stop. Black for terminate any and all acts for the night. Snapping if-if I can’t talk.”“Very good, my love.” Remus leaned in to kiss him slowly. When he pulled back, Sirius was admittedly more than a little excited. “If you don’t have anything to add, I’d pass to the specifics.” When Sirius shook his head, Remus tutted quietly. “Sorry. No,” he stated.“Right. Tonight we’ll play with very unusual things, and of course, you’ve never experienced them. I know you do it for us on a regular basis,” Remus winked at Sirius, and he felt his face warm up again. Hopefully, there would be a time in the future when he won’t be so embarrassed having those kind of conversations. “But this will undoubtedly feel a lot different. And when that happens—when something feels so foreign on such a delicate part of your body, your first instinct is to say ‘stop’.”Sirius stared intently at his own lap, where his fingers were fiddling with a loose thread on his trousers. “Makes sense.”Remus reached over, stilling Sirius’ hands with his own and bringing it to his lips. “Hey,” he said softly. “Look at me.” It took a moment, but Sirius finally glanced up, meeting Remus’ warm, steady gaze. “You’re allowed to feel nervous. And you’re allowed to change your mind at any point. But I need you to tell me now if you want me to stop when you say it, or if you want me to keep going, and only listen to your safewords.”The question threw him off completely. Sirius blinked at him for a couple of moments, unable to come up with anything to think, let alone say. It was a scary thought, but then Sirius remembered the small, unassuming little box on their lists, where black ink on white paper recited ‘forced’. So that’s what it was, then—trusting Remus so much that he’d allow him to push past his very instincts and… force it. Pry Sirius’ limit wide open just because he could, just because Sirius gave him permission.“I—I want you to keep going,” he whispered, voice shaky and unstable, but he was sure. “If I don’t… use the safeword, I want you to keep going.”Remus stood up then, and Sirius knew that the person in front of him was no longer his loving boyfriend, but the Master he’d asked for. He stood tall and strong, with his eyes fixated on Sirius’ face, warm yet unyielding. His eyes studied Sirius’ face intently before nodding, lips thinned in a wicked smile. “Very well,” he said. “If you have no further questions, you will undress and fold your clothes on the table.”That was an order. Direct and unrelenting, sent a shiver through Sirius’ whole body and froze him in place for a moment. His mind was reeling with the abrupt shift in energy between them, how Remus could go from the boyfriend who plaited his hair before going to bed to that. Sirius’ fingers twitched on his lap, and he was a split second too late for avoiding reprimand.“Now, Sirius,” Remus said, voice sharp.Well, that did the trick, and Sirius jolted into motion. He stood quickly, knees unsteady as he began to tug at the hem of his shirt. The movement were clumsy, his fingers ice cold as they brushed against his belly, making the task of folding it a million times harder. Once it was on the table—and after it earned a nod from Remus—a burst of confidence made taking his trousers off easier. Jeans and socks off and folded, Sirius hesitated once it was time to take his boxers off. He risked a glance at Remus, who only cocked an eyebrow.“Today, if you please,” Remus drawled.Sirius’ face burned with embarrassment, and averted his eyes just as he pulled down the last piece of clothing covering his body.Then, he stood slowly. That was always the tricky part, standing naked in front of Remus’ eyes, laid bare and open, vulnerable to anything that might be thrown at him. Remus had once told him that to do so required immense courage, and Sirius hadn’t really bought it back then. But with Remus’ eyes leisurely trailing down his body, it took all of him to not give into the urge to cover himself.It was the sort of attention that made Sirius want to simultaneously take on the world and run in Remus’ arms for safety. Sirius could feel his stare like embers rolling down his skin and leaving a trail of scorched flesh, and his brain could not comprehend how it could feel so nice when it should hurt, it should scar.“Good whore.” Remus’ voice was soft. “Inspection.”Like a reflex, Sirius’ body moved on its own, legs parting and his hands rising behind his head before the embarrassment of it could settle. But then, the shame came all at once. Already, he had been naked in the middle of the room, yet that was nothing compared to the syrupy trickle in his navel as he assumed position.They had spent a whole afternoon practicing them—inspection, wall, wait, collar, Nadu, humble; Remus made him learn each and every one, revelling in each mistake and punishment, and praising him when he finally got it right. It had been one of the most fun scene they’d ever had.A finger at his crack made him jolt. Remus was behind him, one hand trailing under his left arm and the fingers of the other snaking their way between Sirius’ cheeks. His breath hitched when Remus knelt behind him and spread him wide open with a pensive noise.“Your hole is already loose,” he commented casually. It took all of Sirius to stay upright when the words registered, an almost painful twist of shame turning his legs to jello. “Did you clean yourself?”“Y-yes, Master,” Sirius whispered to the empty room in front of him.Remus hummed. “How did you do it?”The words in Sirius’ throat simply would not come out. Did Remus really want him to—what, describe it?The pad of Remus’ fingertip pressed on Sirius’ hole, just enough to make him feel his hole opening and closing on it. “How much water did you use?”Clench. The tip of Remus’ finger pushing inside. “I… I don’t—”The drag was dry, uncomfortable. Remus was only checking. Inspecting. “Which douche did you use, Sirius?”“The… big one,” Sirius responded in an exhale, confused as much as he was aroused. “Blue one you gave me, Master.”Remus pushed, and Sirius gasped, almost breaking position in an attempt to close his legs and hide the shameful erection between them. “Good,” he murmured approvingly, and Sirius almost felt the warmth of the praise. “Next time, I won’t repeat myself. Understood?”“Yes,” Sirius managed, his voice trembling but clear. “Sorry, Master.”The low noise of assent that came out of Remus’ throat, paired with his finger unceremoniously pulled out of his body, made Sirius’ head swim. The flicker of pride at the sight of Remus’ satisfied face was all Sirius had been chasing after as he stood in the humiliating position. Maybe all day, if he was honest.“You can break,” Remus said. Sirius relaxed, letting his arms rest at his sides once again. “Lead the way, then.”The air was cool against his heated skin, Remus’ presence behind him both grounding and exhilarating. Was he watching him walk? What was he looking at? His legs? His arse? His shoulders? Sirius desperately wanted to turn around to check, he wanted to see if Remus was hard just as he was, or if he managed to keep himself under control. He didn’t know what he’d prefer, Remus’ hard cock straining his trousers or the humiliation of being the one who couldn’t get a fucking grip.The hallway seemed longer than usual, focused as he was on reaching their destination without tripping over his own feet. Every step he took felt exaggerated, every movement of his body a performance under Remus’ gaze. His skin tingled. He was almost suffocating on the hyper-awareness of himself.Was Remus looking at his thighs? The curve of his arse? Or was he following the way Sirius’ shoulders moved, his spine, the small dip in his lower back? He couldn’t tell, and he was going mad with the need to turn around and check.Sirius’ cock bobbed with every step, its heaviness only worsening the flush spreading across his face. He stumbled as he entered the Midnight room, and a low chuckle came from behind him. The sound was deep, amused, and knowing. Of course it was.“Something on your mind, whore?” Remus asked, his voice smooth and teasing.Sirius’ mouth went dry. He took a moment to breathe as he stepped into the en suite. “N-no, Master,” he managed, voice higher than he’d intended. He wanted to die on the spot.Remus chuckled again, utterly unconvinced. He moved Sirius around as he shook his head, a small smile still playing on his lips until he guided Sirius on his hands and knees next to the bathtub. He gently kicked his thighs open wider before crouching next to him.“This is the first bag,” he stated. In front of Sirius’ face, he rose a plastic bag with a tube underneath, half filled with a clear liquid Sirius had no desire to know the contents of. In his other hand he was holding the end of the tube, equipped with a nozzle thicker than the ones Sirius was used to. “I’m going to lube this up and push it inside you, then we’ll start. This is your last chance to back out without a safeword.”Sirius looked at him, then at the contents of the bag, before shaking his head. “We can start, Master.”“Very well.”Without another word, Remus stood and left Sirius with his mind reeling and heat pooling in his belly. What he was about to do hit him again right there, on his knees waiting for Remus to fill him with water, to push Sirius to his very limits in the name of love and trust. Sirius would let Remus do anything to him, and Remus was well aware of it.There wasn’t fear, not exactly. Sirius looked for it and found none, but the heady mix of anticipation and anxiety was lightening his head way too quickly for Sirius to even hope to control it. Every sound in the quiet bathroom seemed to echo inside his brain, twisting it so much that when Remus’ hand spread one of his cheeks, Sirius jumped away. Remus’ palm came down hard on his skin.“Sorry, Master,” he breathed.Remus did not answer him. Instead, he gripped his arsecheek harshly and pushed one lubed finger inside of him, before pulling it out and pressing the tip of the nozzle on his hole. Sirius sucked in a shaky breath as his eyes fluttered shut, and he felt the plastic slide into him too smoothly. He clenched instinctively when it settled inside, which elicited a content noise from Remus as he stood once again.“I’m going to release the clamp now,” he said in a steady voice.Sirius opened his mouth to reply, but before he could get a word out, warm liquid hit his insides. Sirius gasped at the sensation. As familiar as it was, having Remus so close for it was something he never thought he’d experience. The repeated thoughts of Remus sitting on a chair next to him made his stomach twist, and all of Sirius’ muscles tensed when the feeling of fullness spread across his abdomen.The heat of Remus’ hand on his lower back was a blessing and a curse. He didn’t know if he wanted to squirm or stay still, if the feeling of water rushing would subside if he moved to a different position or—“There it is,” Remus’ voice interrupted his thoughts. “The first bag is empty. I’m taking out the nozzle, you keep it all in. We don’t want any accidents, do we?”Sirius’ face burned and he looked down at the floor. He actually whined, then yelped when Remus pulled the nozzle out without warning. He did his best to lock everything up, closing his hands into tight fists on the bathroom rug, curling his toes so much that his feet rose from the ground and all of his weight rested on his hands and knees.It was a bit more water than he usually took—than he took only an hour ago in his shower. He kept it in for eight minutes earlier, then the cramps were so bad that he had no choice but to get it all out. There, though, he didn’t know how long Remus was going to make him hold it. And it was all kinds of stupid. Remus gave him the opportunity to ask questions and he just didn’t—why the hell did he not ask anything?Body taut as a bowstring, Sirius cursed himself as he knelt on the floor, holding onto the water in his guts. He’d so willingly given himself over to it, that he hadn’t asked the questions he should have. All he could do was wait.Then the cramps started. The first one was a punch, low and hard, twisting through Sirius’ abdomen and spreading like a wildfire. His elbows shook but he grit his teeth, knowing that after the first cramp, the others were quick to follow.And they did, one after the other, folding his insides over themselves. His fingers trembled against the rug as wave after wave of gnawing ache consumed him. Cramps tore through him with sharp, unrelenting pain, a knife planting itself in his belly over and over, squeezing and flowing like the liquid gushing inside him. His stomach churned as he wondered just how much water had been in the bag and just how long—“You can expel now,” Remus said. Sirius whimpered, unable to move in the middle of a particularly vicious cramp. “As we agreed, I will leave you alone for it.”With that he stood from the chair and exited the room, leaving Sirius to figure out how to actually use his own body to reach the toilet and sit on it. The first crawl made him gasp, water rushed towards the exit by the flex of his muscles. Sirius breathed shallowly through his mouth, and kept going. It took him way too long to close the short distance, but once he managed to pull himself up and sit down, his body let go of the liquid immediately.The ache lingered, but it was nothing new to him. This was what he was used to doing on his own, and even if the noises made his face burn, he knew exactly what to do to make it easier on himself. He massaged his stomach, pushing gently, and only stopped once he couldn’t feel water inside anymore. As he had thought, the liquid came out clean. He smiled to himself, satisfied his plan had actually work.Remus returned when Sirius called for him. As soon as he’d returned to the room, his fingers caught Sirius by the chin, forcing his head up so their eyes met.“You did well,” he said dismissively. “Was it clean?”Sirius’ breath hitched. He nodded without thinking, his body already responding to the weight of Remus’ stare. “Yes, Master.”“Good. Back into position.”The process was easier the second time around, and Sirius almost sighed in relief when the water entered him. It took less time for his guts to fill up, and when Remus announced the end of the bag, Sirius was unreasonably disappointed. That was nothing. He’d done the same not ten minutes ago, surely he could do it again.“Come here,” Remus instructed once he placed the bag and the nozzle back on their stool. As Sirius slowly crawled towards him, mind split between moving his stiff limbs forward and clenching his hole close, Remus pulled his joggers and pants off and sat back down. His length bobbed right in front of Sirius’ eyes, and Sirius’ mouth watered at just the sight of it, long and thick, already wet at the tip.Remus carded his fingers in his hair. “Want to suck Master’s cock, little whore?”“Please,” Sirius whimpered. “Please, Master, let me.”Suddenly, Remus fisted his hair, pulling Sirius to stand on his knees between his legs. Sirius almost crumbled on Remus’ crotch when a cramp hit him as his stomach was straightened, but he managed to stay upright by bracing himself on Remus’ legs. Remus laughed, and just pushed Sirius’ face down to rub it over his length.The pressure in his bowels somehow amplified the sheer desperation he felt for Remus’ hard cock, and he downright moaned when a cramp shook him to his core. He darted out his tongue when Remus pulled his head up to the tip, licking all over it and closing his eyes when the intoxicating taste of Remus’ precome exploded in his mouth. Remus hummed in approval, and Sirius could feel the pulses of his own heart.He took Remus into his mouth, and he couldn’t stop the little gasps coming out of his nose as he tried to relax his throat to take him deeper. But the more Sirius bobbed his head up and down, the more the water moved within him, straining his insides and distracting Sirius from his task, too focused on clenching his lower body as tightly as possible to really think of anything else around him.That was why he didn’t expect Remus losing his patience and pushing Sirius’ head down, forcing his cock into Sirius’ unprepared throat and choking him harshly. His eyes watered instantly and his body fought to pull back, to let air into his lungs again. Sirius was too overwhelmed to oppose his instincts, which only served to spur Remus on, pushing and pushing him down until Sirius’ nose was buried into his pubic hair.A sound ragged and guttural tore through him as Sirius choked hard, feeling his throat straining around the thickness of Remus’ glorious cock as he forced Sirius to take it all, and it felt so good, so fucking good that he…The noise was the first thing he registered, slicing through the fog in his brain as it rang loud in the echoing room. Then, the wetness on his thighs, under his knees, and the feeling of liquid pushing its way out of his body. Warmth trickled down his thighs, and the mortification of it hit him like a brick to the chest.Oh, god, oh, god, he clenched down again, but still the water dripped out of him and down his inner thighs. The thick emotion in his chest tangled with the sensations all over his body—from the tickle of the water on his skin, to the feeling of it coming out of him, to the ache in his throat from Remus’ rough treatment.Oh god, Remus… “Master—”Sirius’ face burned hotter than ever and his tears were like lava as they fell down, finally flowing free as he whimpered, mortified and unable to meet Remus’ eyes. A disappointed tut was all the answer he got, before Remus stood up and his fist pushed Sirius’ mouth down his cock again, setting the pace as he pleased and making it harder for Sirius to fight his body’s instincts.“You better keep the rest in,” Remus growled over him.The new position made everything worse. His upper body was straightened up forcibly, and the pressure of his straining muscles only pushed the water down quicker. Sirius’ throat tightened violently around Remus, convulsing and letting desperate noises out every time Remus fucked out of him. Then, another shove, and suddenly Remus took one step forward, pushing himself deeper than he’d ever gone down Sirius’ throat. The bodyweight standing over him fucked his balance up and he tipped backwards unexpectedly, only held up by Remus’ grip on his head and he couldn’t stop the violent gag that tore through him.Liquid rushed out. Not much, but hard enough to make a tremendous noise on the tiled floor. Stop, please, please, stop went like a mantra in his head, but he couldn’t say if it was for Remus or a plea to the liquid inside of him. He wished for both as the corner of his vision darkened with the lack of air, and for a moment, he panicked about fainting, about not being able to hold it all in.Remus pulled him off his cock as Sirius was about to give in, and the sudden rush of air into his lungs made him cough and stumble on his knees. He was thankful for Remus’ fist in his hair, keeping him upright and stable as Sirius writhed on the floor, harsh cramps making his cock jolt and drool.“M-master,” Sirius whispered, and he relished the pain of his throat, though he couldn’t remember what he wanted to say. “Please…”“Time’s up,” Remus said flatly. “Time to expel.”Sirius scrambled immediately—or, well, he tried to. His limbs were weak and uncooperative as he crawled to the toilet, sluggish steps making it harder than he thought. Every movement jostled his insides, sending more water to trickle down his legs. By the time he reached the seat and pulled himself onto it, his hole couldn’t take it anymore.The water spilled out of him in harsh waves, the relief mingling with the overwhelming sting of shame. The noise was obscene, the kind of thing that made Sirius want to crawl out of his own skin. He gripped his thighs so hard his knuckles turned white, his face burning as he tried to disappear and never return. Remus was there, watching him do all this, silently taking in every movement, each pathetic little sound Sirius made as he tried to roll his hips unconsciously.How he wished for a cock, for Remus’ cock to fuck him silly, to pound into him hard and fast, and do it until Sirius begged for mercy and then just keep going.“Per-permission to come, Master?” he begged breathlessly, the words trembling and raw, spilling out before he could stop himself.The silence that followed was deafening.“No,” Remus then said firmly, the single word heavy with finality.Sirius sobbed but nodded as Remus squeezed the base of his jumping cock. Such an indecent thing to be happy about, but there was Sirius, smiling faintly as Remus’ strong fingers made his orgasm retreat.The next bag looked bigger. Much bigger. Sirius swallowed thickly as his stomach turned, but did not say a thing as he made to sink to all fours again.“No,” Remus’ voice stopped him. “Come here for this one.”Sirius let Remus guide him to the chair and move it around to face the sink. He let Remus open his legs wide and sit him on his thighs. He let Remus push the nozzle inside him and release the clamp, he let him push water into him once again. And he did it all looking at his face—his eyes, his nose, the way his mouth quirked up in a wicked smile when Sirius’ blush spread on his chest.Liquid surged into him with slow, deliberate force. Sirius bit down on the urge to protest, gritting his teeth and clenching his fists as the stretch became unbearable. His belly filled and distended, the sensation quickly shifting from a dull pressure to something far more intense as he watched, horrified, his stomach jotting out with the weight of being filled.The cramps started, low and insistent, and still water kept coming. Sirius whimpered, mind buzzing in discomfort and confusion. Too much, it’s too much too much too much—Remus’ hand rested on his belly and Sirius moaned loudly.“You’ll take it all, won’t you?” He asked, stroking gently up and down. “You’d take anything I give you, wouldn’t you?”Sirius couldn’t—he couldn’t talk, there was too much, too many things happening to him. Remus flicked his fingers on the tip of his cock and he screamed. The words fell out of him in a rush after that, too jumbled to make any sense to anybody but Remus.“N-no mo—no more… can’t do it please, stop, please.”He tried so hard to think. To say. Remus stopped the flow suddenly, and Sirius sighed brokenly as he tried to get used to the additional volume inside him. “Did you forget your safeword?”Sirius just cried on Remus’ chest, folded on himself as he was to try and keep the liquid at bay. Remus pinched his nipple when he didn’t respond, so Sirius shook his head, whispering a small no, Master, only to cry harder when Remus released the clamp once again.“No, no no!” Sirius wailed, the sound raw and frantic as he clutched at Remus’ shoulders. “Too—’s too much! Master, I can’t!”More water flowed as Remus ignored him, and Sirius could feel the way his mind started to scatter all over the place, chasing sensations and tethering on the edge of pain and overwhelming, unthinkable pleasure. The ache borrowed deep, radiating through him and blurring his vision as tears spilled over uncontrollably.“Stopstopstop Master please,” Sirius cried, though his hips rolled as if he could get any friction on his purpling cock. “Hurts… can’t—no more, Master.”But Remus only hummed, grabbing the tip of Sirius’ cock to dip a nail in the slit. Sirius gasped and trembled, and his cock bumped against his full belly as Remus let it go. “But I want you to take more,” he cooed mockingly. Sirius shook his head, frantic. “You look very pretty, so full and desperate. Your tummy’s so nice and round for me.”The words twisted in Sirius’ mind, sending a pulse of heat through him even as he whimpered in pain, cramps rocking his body as more water forced its way inside him. The fullness lightened Sirius’ head, feeling surreal in its intensity. He could almost count every ounce of it inside him, pressing against his organs and demanding his body to make space for it, to surrender. He tensed and he fought, but Master’s hands were warm on his belly, so Sirius let the water ruin him, stretch him and claim him.His body reached the breaking point, and Sirius’ resolve shattered and he sobbed as the bag emptied itself inside him. Through the tremor and the blinding fullness, he just wanted Master to tell him how good he was, how well he behaved taking all of the warmth inside him, as he took each pulse of cramp like a gift and let the ache twist into sharp stabs that radiated outward.“You’ll be plugged,” Remus informed him as something replaced the nozzle at his rim. “You clearly can’t be trusted to hold it on your own.”Ah of course, Master was right. Sirius made such a mess earlier. He wished Remus made him clean it up, to show how regretful he was for failing to do the one thing he was asked. The sting of the plug forcing his hole open made up for it a little bit, though he wished Master hadn’t used any lube, so the lesson would really stick.Yet, Sirius’ cock jumped as his hole sent a ripple of agony up his spine, and any chance he had of not behaving like a whore was wiped away by the intense pleasure that washed over him.“Master, can I—please let me come, Master,” he gasped, words rushing out and reflecting the sheer desperation he felt inside. A vicious cramp tore him wide open as the widest part of the plug popped inside his rim and the plug settled. “Please! Master, let me—”Master laughed, low and mocking, cutting him off. “No.”The pressure shifted as Sirius was made to stand. He cried out and folded on himself, his belly weighting him down. His spine curled forward to find some relief from the sloshing that made his knees buckle.“Stand up straight,” Master ordered. He chuckled when Sirius whimpered. “I’m not going to fuck you. Stand up.”With another pitiful sound, Sirius tried to slowly straighten his back, but all he managed to do was to lift his chin off his chest. He pushed and pushed his reflexes down, that small voice in his head that was sure he’d just pop if he so much as moved his torso, that told him to clench and keep it all inside and drop on the ground, that it’d be easier somehow.But another voice, much louder, was hissing that he would be alright, if only he could tell his instincts to shut the fuck up. If only he could pull himself up like his Master asked him. That if he really had been a good whore, he’d done it immediately. No matter how much his stomach hurt, or the way his insides churned and turned with cramps, or how his organs seemed to move to accommodate all of him, all of the lovely water his Master stored inside his belly.“What a good bitch.” Remus’ voice was soft, and his hand on Sirius’ face was even softer. Sirius opened his eyes; he was standing so close to Remus’ face. He was standing. “I knew you could do it.”Sirius felt the muscles of his face move into a small, serene smile as Remus brushed his hands down his arms, the touches so nice and gentle that his whole body shivered. When fingers brushed over his nipples, Sirius gasped and bucked his hips, and a vicious cramp seized his abdomen in response.All he could do was mewl and wait and focus on staying where he was supposed to while his Master did with him what he pleased. Not that it was hard, that was without a doubt Sirius’ favourite thing to do. So he grit his teeth to keep his moans to himself as Remus stroke over his belly, left and right, then down down down to Sirius’ little cock, hard as stone and weeping pathetically under his Master’s water.A moan ripped out of his throat when Master pinched the tip of it and he almost fell to the floor, legs too strained to hold Sirius’ body when he had to clench down on the plug too. It pressed against his rim, pushed out by the brutal force of the liquid keeping Sirius well filled, and he was clamped tight, instinct and panic fighting to keep anything from escaping. He dug his nails into the meat of his thighs when his cock throbbed.“None of that,” Remus reprimanded, gripping Sirius’ wrists and guiding his hands to link behind his head. Master laughed when Sirius whined in pain. “You make such pretty noises. Can you stay like that for me?”“Y-yes, Master,” Sirius whispered.“Widen your legs a bit.” He hummed when Sirius complied. “Perfect.”Sirius bit down on his lip hard enough to taste blood, forcing his knees to lock as he stood in the middle of the room, shaking and on display. His belly felt grotesquely swollen. He couldn’t bring himself to look at it again, too scared to see the way his body had been shaped and modelled by his Master’s will, turned inside out by cramps and stiffness.Remus settled into his chair, long legs sprawled out as he stared at Sirius’ naked body. Sirius wanted to cry when his hand closed around the thick, hard length of his cock, stroking himself with maddening leisure. He felt robbed somehow, hungry for Remus’ pleasure, jealous of anything that made him feel good if it wasn’t on Sirius’ body—his hands, his mouth, his hole, his thighs, his anything.But then Master called him “Beautiful,” so Sirius decided that even if it wasn’t his hand on Remus’ cock, it was him that Remus was looking. It was him that made Remus’ voice go so deep and rough, he felt it scrape over his nerves and rub them raw. Sirius’ entire body thrummed, the ache in his belly cresting with every shallow breath he managed to take. The weight inside him stretched and shifted, surged and twisted, shooting agony and making him cry, but he could not move.Would not move, because Master was looking at him so intensely that Sirius felt more secure than if he was tied up right there, at peace crumbling under his Master’s heavy stare. Even the air was heavy on his skin, cooling down the sweat trickling down his spine and over the thin, sensitive skin of his crack. Sirius couldn’t look away either, following the movements of Remus’ hand up and down and up and down, letting the his scent settle into his chest, filling the spaces between the ache of fullness and the stabs of throbbing arousal.“Kneel in the tub,” Master said.With quivering thighs he went, slowly, painfully, gasping at each cramp as he moved his stiff muscles and made them bare more weight than they were used to. Once he knelt, Sirius watched as Remus stood over him and his hand picked up speed. Sirius was thirsty for anything, a caress, a slap, a cock in his mouth—as his eyes were trained on Remus’ movements in front of his face, his ears on the wet, deafening sound of it.His tongue wanted so much to lap at the slit. If only he was allowed to move, he’d take it into his mouth and suckle at the tip, he’d beg for his Master’s come to land on his tongue, he’d wish to keep it inside him forever.“M-master,” Sirius whispered, a tear running down his face as he stared and stared. “Master, please…”Master fastened his movement, and Sirius whimpered as if hurt. “What is it?”“Let me… let me have it, please.” He wanted it. He needed it.“You want my come, little whore?” Master asked, groaning. Sirius wished he could bottle that sound. “Do you want me to come inside your pretty mouth?”Sirius nodded eagerly. “Please, Master,” he said. “Such a needy little thing,” he teased. “You always look so beautiful when you beg. Say it again.”“Please, Master,” Sirius sobbed. His tears fell freely, streaking his flushed cheeks as he leaned into the words, letting them spill from him praying on his knees. “Please, I miss it, I… pl—oh please don’t stop looking at me.”Remus smiled at that, slow and wicked as he watched Sirius open his mouth as wide as it would go. He reached inside, dragging his wet fingers over Sirius’ tongue and Sirius’ moan echoed off the tiles.“I’d never do such a thing,” he hummed, returning to stroking himself. “You’re so lovely, letting me do this to you. But you’re already so full, darling. Will you be able to take Master’s come too?”“Yes!” Sirius cried out, leaning closer to his prize and begging again. “I need it, please, Master. Let me have it. I’ll be good, I swear I—”A groan interrupted him and a moment later, Master’s come was landing all over his face. Sirius scrambled to put his open mouth under it, collecting the release on his tongue and panting as he drooled, the taste of Remus on his tongue making him giddy and delirious. The heat of it on his face felt like a brand, and he moaned deep in his chest, the sound vibrating through him like a struck chord when a cramp almost folded him in half. His body ached with the effort of staying upright, muscles straining, his belly tight and painfully full, but none of it mattered—none of it was even real.“You wear my come so beautifully, darling,” Master said, stroking, smearing. “You can swallow.”Sirius whimpered at the command, trembling as he obeyed. He swallowed thickly, feeling the warm, bitter taste slide down his throat, making his body jerked slightly, overwhelmed. He was already so full… already so much of Master inside of him, and still he’d been granted more, only because he asked like a greedy little bitch.But the weight of it all pushed so hard, made him feel stretched from inside his belly, like Remus was there with him and also all the way inside him. It hurt so much. It felt so good.“You’re the best toy in the world,” Remus said quietly. Sirius giggled, leaning into the warm hand on his throat. “I want to try something. Will you let me?” When Sirius only nodded excitedly, his Master laughed. “You’d let me do whatever I want, wouldn’t you?” Sirius giggled again, and that was that.Smiling, Remus climbed and settled inside the large tub, guiding Sirius to sit between his open legs before reaching down and gripping the end of the plug. Sirius turned his head into the crook of his neck and whimpered.“I want you to try and hold it on your own,” he said.Pulling the plug out proved a very hard task, but Remus was patient, rotating and pulling and fucking into him. Sirius wailed and whimpered, the pain of the forceful stretch made his cock jolt and drool, and when the largest part of the plug stretched his hole, he sobbed into Remus’ skin.The plug was perched on the edge of the tub, and Sirius was shaking uncontrollably. His hole was loose, his insides cramping sharply with the strain of his muscles and he screamed as he struggled to hold back the urge to release. Water pushed from within, rumbling and surging, and Sirius wanted Master’s cock so badly. Remus’ presence was a palpable force, every word whispered in his ear sent a rush of heat spiralling through him, from his stuffed hole to his bloated belly and straight into his brain. The liquid had settled inside him with the plug, heavy and foreign, but without it, it shifted and flowed every time he so much as twitched.Master stroked Sirius’ little cock and commanded, “Look at yourself,” and Sirius couldn’t do anything but comply.Finally, he looked down. The flush on his chest, some droplets of Remus’ come and—It was surreal, the way his stomach was curved. An unfamiliar arc that radiated pain and fullness, that choked him and sinked into his brain to twist and fog it. He could feel his heartbeat on the taut skin and he could see how his muscles moved under it, pulsing in agony and pleasure—the gifts of his lovely Master.Sirius watched as his belly raised and fell, marvelled at the way Remus’ hand was half-covered as it stroked his aching cock slowly. He kept his eyes on his stomach as Remus guided his right hand to wrap around his cock, and gasped when the movement made his insides clench. Another wave of pressure crashed through him, followed by its cramp, and Sirius’ hand stroke its cock mechanically, waiting for instructions on how to do it.Breaths came shallow, the hand was shaking.“You’re trembling so much,” Remus said, his voice softening as he reached forward, both hands bracing under Sirius’ knees and pulling his legs open. Sirius screamed as the water fucked him, at the way Master could fill him up so well and leave him wanting more and more. “Does it feel that good, being my perfect little toy?”“Yes,” Sirius breathed, the word spilling out, instinctual. His voice shook as much as his legs, but it was still true, it was true. “Yes, Master. It feels—” His breath hitched as cramps twisted his guts, and Sirius felt the water rush down his rectum before he remembered to clench hard. He whined, “Master. Hurts.”“But it hurts so good, doesn’t it?”It hurt so much and Sirius cried, sobbed. But he nodded, because Master knew him so well. His belly hurt so much, his cock hurt so much, his hole hurt so much, and it all hurt so good that Sirius would’ve come a million times over if he hadn’t been such a good whore. His body was a live wire, nerves vibrating with the unbearable, exquisite ache radiating from his core.“I want to see you come, now,” Master said.Sirius’ navel contracted, burned with the need for release, any kind of release.“You’re so close. Speed up.”Master’s hands gripped his knees and pulled them up to Sirius’ chest. Sirius moaned as he pushed through the pain, thrusting slightly into his fist.“Let me see it. Be a good toy, come on.”Pressure—pressure from everywhere. From inside his body, water pushing on his sensitive walls. From outside his body, Master’s unrelenting grip on his knees pressing on his stomach. Pressure, pressure pressure building and that had been building for minutes, hours, days. It surged and snapped, and Sirius was coming and screaming and crying, roughly jerking himself, as the solid weight of his orgasm hit him with raw, overwhelming intensity. His body convulsed as pleasure exploded from every nerve, his head heavy but his mind light as a feather with blinding ecstasy.Master kept him safe in his arms so he wouldn’t fly away, but even he couldn’t help the uncontrollable way Sirius’ body seized and pushed and just betrayed him, releasing everything Master had given him with a shameful sound.
“No—no, no, Master!”
The water surged from him in a sudden, uncontrollable rush. Sirius gasped, his body bucking as his thighs shook in Master’s grasp. The mortification hit him a moment after. Sirius wailed, his orgasm surging and crashing again through him, fuelled by the shame clawing up his throat. His face burned red, tears spilling faster now.Yet he couldn’t stop. His hole was exhausted, his muscles too tired to lock up, too worn to fight against the waves of his sea. Sirius was open, utterly undone—broken. Cracked open and rubbed raw, sweet and sticky and wasted and he was coming again, and again, to the feeling of his Master’s water rubbing him inside and rushing out of him violently. To the grip of Master’s hands keeping his legs open wide and pushing on Sirius’ poor belly. To the sight of his bloated stomach losing its roundness to the uncontrollable stream pushing its way through his guts.“Oh… oh, god,” he wheezed in a broken, shameful voice. “I’m so sorry, Mas—I can’t stop! Too much—” He thrashed, body instinctively trying to pull away from the shameful, humiliating release, yet that very sensation only sent him down more spirals of ecstasy and pain.Master’s hands hadn’t left him, not even for a moment. Sirius could feel the scorching heat of his palms in the back of his knees as he rode out waves of sensation, pressing Sirius’ legs to his chest, folding him into himself, forcing him to see everything, to feel everything. At that, Sirius mewled, the sound crawling out of his throat like a desperate prayer. What must Remus be seeing? What would he think, watching him like that, so open and helpless? Would he think him broken? Sirius felt broken in the best possible way, could Master see it too? How utterly ruined he was from his water fucking him from inside out?As warmth poured out, pleasure twisted and morphed, transformed, Sirius plummeted towards something deeper, darker. Something too vast to be known, a yawning chasm that wanted to swallow him whole and Sirius fell into it headfirst, untethered and weightless and raw.Everything was too much and not enough, every nerve was bright as starlight, every touch of Master’s skin on his own was an echo reverberating endlessly through him, over him, inside his tired muscles and hollow bones. Sirius tried to breathe and the air tasted like him—Remus, Master, everywhere, everywhere. On his tongue, in his lungs, in the pit of his belly, pressing, crowding, pushing pushing pushing pushing A sob ripped from his chest as he was pulled to his feet and Sirius arched into Remus’ body, mind scattered between the joy of Remus’ hand on his little cock and the shame of the last of Master’s water spilling out of his hole in a trickle. Words blurred together in his head as Master poured water ov—as Remus washed him, as he spoke into his ear that he was a dirty, perfect little toy, that he was his perfect little toy, mine mine mine.Pleasure was endless, boundless, violent as it dragged him under. Sirius drowned, weeping, arching, clawing for something, for anything. Colours danced behind his eyelids, so bright and pretty and warm. Sirius was one of them, dancing and crying out in ecstasy, panting as his muscles spasmed and Remus held him up by his waist.Time bent and folded as Remus worked soap all over his body, the steady glide of hands smoothing over every inch of him like a lullaby. The warmth of the water turned cooler on Sirius’ fevered skin, Remus’ hands cradled him, calming down his heartbeat and silencing his thoughts completely with the sweetness of sandalwood and cedar.The world tilted, swayed when Daddy lifted him out of the tub, holding him with strong arms like something precious and rare, carrying him through the haze of the blurred room. Sirius melted into him, his body pliant and his mind soft, cheek pressed to a broad shoulder, breathing in the scent of him as they moved through the still air. Sirius sighed—Daddy had him. He would always have him.They were floating together, holding each other tight as Daddy moved them to the bedroom, as he settled Sirius’ pliant body on the funny chair. It was mesmerising how steady he felt in the wake of the storm Remus had wrought inside him.Remus’ hands traced soothing circles over the damp skin of his belly. Sirius leaned into it, eyes fluttering shut as his world shrunk to the feel of those hands, the rumble of Daddy’s voice.“My perfect little toy.”
Oh…
“Master’s not done wi—”The words cracked open Sirius’ chest. The warmth he’d been cocooned into faltered, replaced by an itch he couldn’t name but knew he didn’t want. Breath hitching, stomach tightening—no. He didn’t want it, he didn’t want it, he didn’t want it.“N—” his voice broke with that single word. “No, y-yellow…”Remus froze immediately, the change noticeable even through the fog in Sirius’ brain. The hands on his belly stilled, no longer teasing him, but grounding him on the funny chair. “Okay, my love,” Remus said softly. “Talk to me. What do you need?”Tears clung to Sirius’ lashes as he blinked at Remus. He tried to find the words to tell him that he didn’t want it, he didn’t want Master, he wanted Daddy’s soft hands, Daddy’s pretty words, Daddy’s little kisses.In the end, he only needed a word: “Daddy…”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Remus’ face softened with his pretty smile, and his hands became like feathers on Sirius’ skin, stroking up over his chest and landing gently on his cheek. “You want Daddy?”When he nodded, Sirius felt the knot in his lungs loosening. “Please?”“Of course, little love,” Daddy murmured, pressing a kiss on Sirius’ lips. “Daddy’s right here, yes? I’ve got you.”And just like that, the warmth was back, but it was different, deeper and softer like a blanket all around him. Sirius shuddered, the words sinking further into his skin when Remus’ thumb brushed away the tear slipping from his lashes. He blinked up at him, eyes glassy, his lips parting as though to speak but saying nothing.“What’s your colour now, little love?”“Green, Daddy,” Sirius confirmed in a breath. “Sorry—”“No sorry’s, my love,” Remus tutted. “I’m proud of you for using your safeword.”A soft giggle escaped him as Remus’ hands brushed over his legs, settling them gently onto the funny chair’s handles. He didn’t fully register the moment, just the warmth of Remus’ touch and the safety of the straps on his thighs. His big hands were everywhere, moving with quiet care, adjusting him where he wanted him, tying down his legs so Sirius wouldn’t have to think about them.Sirius gasped softly when Remus returned to the chair with the toy in his hands. He remembered the way it made him feel in the shop, when they saw it for the first time. It was long, so long, that when Remus laid it on Sirius’ body, it went from his little cock all the way over his shoulder.“It’s so long, Daddy,” Sirius slurred, brushing his fingers on the toy resting on his stomach. It was squishy and smooth, he liked it very much.Remus chuckled softly as he moved his restrained legs wide open. “It is, little love,” he said, sitting right between them. Sirius’ face burned. “Do you want it?”“Yeah,” Sirius nodded.“Do you want Daddy to push it in your little tummy?”Sirius whined, dropping the toy to let Daddy tie his curious hand over his head. “Yes, please.”Daddy’s face was very close, and Sirius pushed himself up to kiss his mouth. “You’re so polite, little love,” he whispered, then kissed Sirius’ forehead. It made Sirius shiver in a different way, safe and treasured and almost brought him back to the present.But then he was floating again, arms and legs held tight in the comfort of the funny chair. His body was pulled in strange ways, not really lying down, not really sitting, just… floating on a funny chair. Legs bent, opened wide, knees up. Held there. Sirius felt the tension behind his thighs, but it was distant, someone else’s. Daddy’s touch, though, that was close. Always close. Everything else was far away, but Daddy’s hands were on him, fingers gentle but steady as they stretched his little hole more and more.“Still green, little love?”“Yeah,” Sirius whispered, voice small and dreamy, more a breath than a word. He shifted a little as Daddy took his fingers out, leaving him empty for a horrible moment. His body clenched on nothing, and he whimpered softly. Sirius was about to beg for Daddy’s hands before he saw them—right there, holding their toy.The mere sight of it made Sirius’ stomach flutter. Remus’ hands moved with care, dipping it in a jar full of sparkly lube, and Sirius couldn’t take his eyes off the way it pooled in circles on the bottom. When it came out, it glistened under the soft light, so long, so smooth. So pretty.“You’re staring, little love,” Daddy teased, his lips quirking into a small smile.Sirius giggled, the sound bubbling up without him thinking as warmth spread on his cheeks. “It’s so… so long,” he murmured, squirming slightly in his bindings, arms pulling faintly at the straps as if trying to reach for his toy.“So you’ve said,” Daddy laughed, eyes crackling with a million embers. “But you can take it all, can’t you? You’re my little love. My good boy.”My good boy. Sirius let out a shaky breath and nodded, a small movement that felt so monumental in his floating that he had to close his eyes. “Yeah,” he murmured shyly. “M’your good boy.”The narrow tip slithered inside him, and Sirius’ body welcomed the painless stretch with parted lips and curled toes. The smooth glide felt strange on his battered walls, small and heavy at the same time, both too much and not enough. The air in the Midnight Room was already heavy and scorching, rolling on Sirius’ skin and making him shiver.Daddy’s eyes were fixated on Sirius’ hole. Sirius wished he could see what he was seeing, because the look on his face was one of pure amazement, and the soft touches of his hands reminded Sirius of powdered sugar. He could feel, distantly, the stretch of his hole as it accommodated the growing girth, as it followed the untold instructions his Daddy was giving it with every breath.For Sirius, though, the toy was very confusing. He could feel the tip of it pushing inside of him, and he could feel the way he opened up for the toy and for Daddy. Sirius could feel the strange weight inside his bum. But it was thin, too narrow for him to feel anything but mild contentment as it filled him up too slowly.His gaze wandered down, trying to see past his hard cock and get to Daddy’s hands on the toy. The effort was monumental, like straining your neck to peek through clouds, and all he managed to spot was some of the toy as Daddy lifted it higher.A soft pout paired with a faint tug on his bindings had Daddy look up and grin at him, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “Curious, little love?” he teased, his fingers brushing the rim of Sirius’ hole.Sirius’ pout deepened as he tried to give a little wriggle downward, but Daddy had tied him up so well he didn’t even move. “Wanna see, Daddy,” he admitted with a scowl, the words slurring together in a way that made Daddy’s chuckle deepen. “Wanna know...”“What it’s doing to you?” Daddy supplied gently, shifting slightly to kiss Sirius’ pelvis. “Oh, little love, you don’t need to see. You can feel, can’t you?”With a sigh, Sirius nodded slowly, his head lolling against the chair. That was the problem, he could feel it, but it wasn’t enough. Not even close. It was too small, his body too loose, too used to bigger things—Daddy’s cock, Daddy’s other toys, even Daddy’s fingers were bigger, and Sirius had one right there, and he so wanted it to push inside of him, to stretch him and make him burn and cry.“S’too small,” he whimpered. His lip started to tremble, and he wished he could move, he wished he could just bear down on the whole thing in one go.Daddy’s hands froze, and Sirius felt a tear roll down his cheek. He could feel it now, the slight tremor of Daddy’s hands from gripping the slippery surface of the toy tightly, how the stupid thing inside him was moving, wiggling with every involuntary movement of the part not yet inside him. He hated it, and he loved it. It felt so good, but it just didn’t feel enough.“Too small, hmm?” Daddy murmured, a tilt in his tone that made Sirius’ face burn with embarrassment. The corners of his lips twitched as he stared Sirius down. “Your hole’s hungry, love?”Sirius nodded, though the look in Remus’ eyes made him falter a bit. Sirius hoped he wasn’t being ungrateful to his Daddy, who did it all just for him. He hoped his starved hole wasn’t ruining Daddy’s fun. “Sorry…” he whispered. “Can’t—can’t feel it right, Daddy… ’s small…”At that, Daddy chuckled. Sirius’ heart jumped in his throat: his Daddy was so handsome. “Oh, sweetheart,” he said in his deep voice. “This isn’t about how wide your hole is, remember?” He paused to leave a kiss on Sirius’ stuffed hole. It clenched as Sirius’ thighs quivered. “It’s about how deep it really is, little love.”Suddenly, Daddy pulled on the toy and pushed it back in further, slowly but surely, and Sirius felt it deep inside him. He felt it as far as when he sat on Daddy’s cock, that deep lovely spot inside of him that made him smile and gasp and whine, that made Daddy show under his skin. The stretch was subtle, gentle, and Sirius could feel it a little more.“We haven’t even started yet, my love,” Daddy told him. “Daddy’s going to fuck all of you, yeah?”Sirius’ eyes rolled to the back of his head with the mere thought of it. “Yeah…”A push, and the toy passed the deepest spot in his hole, and just kept going. Sirius gasped, eyes wide open when he felt the small small tip caressing right under his bellybutton. It was strange, strange, made his abs shake and his balls clench.“Do you want it? Do you want Daddy’s toy all the way inside you?”Sirius’ lungs weren’t working right, and he couldn’t master up the focus to draw a full breath. Yet the toy kept going and going inside him and it was like. It was like he couldn’t finish, like his hole would go on forever as long as Daddy kept stuffing it w—“I’ll show you how greedy your hole is, okay love?”The words were there, and Sirius might’ve nodded, he wasn’t sure. Daddy’s hand on his crotch, holding his hole open for the toy to go and go and never stop. The tip was small, it was so small and it went so far, lost inside of him somewhere, until someth—“I’ll leave you stuffed full the whole day. How does that sound? Keep your hole so full of cock that I’ll see it through your belly.”A cry, a moan, and the tip of the toy was so small, so small that it went somewhere new. Too new, but like before, when the stretch wasn’t much and the tip was small and deep but not too much. Sudden, jarring, Sirius opened in a way he wasn’t supposed to and the toy just pressed in and went inside and Daddy smiled at the way Sirius cried. Moaned? He pushed the toy some more, and then some more, and Sirius’ hole stretched wide open, and that spot deep inside it stretched wide open too.Strange, alien pressure. Low in his belly, overwhelming and hot, then burning up forward, tilting to the left and burning up up up, lighting fire in his tummy and then down in his hole, opening widening bearing burning—his cock tingled, his balls tingled, his hole tingled, and Sirius finally screamed, choking on sobs and begging his Daddy for something he needed, “’s too m-m—” and he needed it bad, yet he couldn’t even find a way to move his arms, he couldn’t close his legsThe fullness moved inside him, swirled and pulled at his focus. It tugged him deeper into the fog, into the clenching and the begging, and the crying and the wailing, “m-my cock,” he said, over and over and over, yet Daddy just laughed again, and pushed himself deeper still, until his small tip bumped against the end of Sirius’ hole.But Daddy’s fingers crawled over the smooth skin of Sirius’ belly, then his palm rubbed and pushed and Sirius gasped as he once again opened in a way he wasn’t supposed to, and Daddy moved forward, more and more and more until the fire in Sirius’ crotch exploded and he was swallowed by the flames, convulsing so hard that the funny chair made tinkling noises like a fairy. Until his little prick was so wet it was sticking to his skin.It was everywhere, radiating from inside him and rippling outward until it felt like he couldn’t contain it, like he couldn’t breathe around it. His mouth opened, trying to gasp desperately, but no air got in and no sound came out—just a trembling as his whole body arched against the chair, spine pressed down trying to close close close everything.Daddy’s hand on him was like lava, scorching his skin raw and piercing Sirius’ brain with such exquisite ecstasy that his body couldn’t take it anymore and broke again. Muscles clenched, cock drooling, Daddy pushed again, and he just—he went?Too fast, too—the tip was small, and it was moving, it was slithering through him and fucking deeper and deeper and it bumped against the end of Sirius’ hole but Daddy’s hands were massaging and pushing and it just—it went? In, in, in, inside Sirius, shifting deeper without warning, exploring the depth of him slowly so slowly.And he found the words, he remembered how to breathe, how to cry and wail and beg and scream“Oh god oh god Daddy’s moving!”
It’s a toy
It's a toy
It’s a toy a toy atoyatoyatoy
It slithered and wiggled and pushed into his belly and it moved“Yeah? Is it fucking you?” Daddy asked. His hand stroked Sirius’ hip. Sirius gasped, then screamed. “Nice and deep, just like you wanted.”Just like he wanted! The toy—Sirius’ hole wanted it so bad it was sucking it right in. Sirius’ hole was just doing what it was meant to do, open wide and take it all for itself. And Daddy let it, let Sirius’ hole take everything it wanted, helped it take some more until the burn of the stretch was so much that it hurt.“Too m-much—’s too—”“Not too much, surely,” Daddy sighed and shook his head. “You’re almost there, little love. Don’t you want it all?”Sirius’ mouth opened and closed. His hole did the same, deep inside him.“You can say your word if it is, little love. Do you want to?” Sirius’ head shook immediately. “See? It’s not too much, love. Your hole can take it all cause you’re my good baby, right?”Yes, yes, he could take it all, he could open up more, he could let Daddy fuck inside his little tummy if he wanted to. Sirius would let Daddy’s toy get lost inside of him, he’d let Daddy store his toys inside his hole forever if he asked—he’d let his Daddy do anything to him.“Would you, now?” Daddy asked over him. Sirius’ little cock dripped dripped dripped. “What would you let Daddy do, little love?”There was a warm spot in the front of his brain. It felt so good too, like it had to be there, like Sirius would die if it wasn’t there. It made it hard to think and it made it easy to beg his Daddy to fuck him hard. It made it so easy for his mouth to open and ask for Daddy’s cock to fuck his throat, to hold him down and let Sirius’ head empty and let him pass out.The funny chair moved, and Daddy’s face was right in front of his. “Do you want it then? Want Daddy to push it all in?”“P—” A moan. “Please…”It hurt! Oh god, it hurt the depth of his hole to stretch so much—too much, too far.But it felt so good, so wide Sirius thought it would rip him right in half. His belly was full, tight. Open. Like he couldn’t take more but it begged anyway. His hole throbbed, his whole body shook, and he was crying—laughing?It felt so good when Daddy moaned and pulled out and pushed in, deep and low, and the sound ran Sirius over, filling him too, squeezing inside his guts. “Good boy,” Daddy groaned, and his hand was there on his hole again, pressing, twisting, pushing.The toy moved. And moved. Deeper, wider—too wide. Sirius thought he’d split apart, thought he’d unravel right there with Daddy watching him, pushing inside him inside him inside him. His belly was swollen, it felt like it was about to burst open for the world to see—for his Daddy to see.Daddy… he tried, but Daddy’s hand sped up, kept moving, probing and pushing and rubbing him raw. Sirius could feel it all, from his ruined hole moving up up with Daddy’s powerful thrusts, filling bending stretching Sirius’ belly until he couldn’t breathe. Could only gasp and choke and beg and watch as Daddy moved under his skin, moving his guts up and down, stroking it, kissing it, pushing him, like Sirius was the toy he wanted to play with, just a pretty thing for Daddy to stuff and fill and—Body arched off the chair, Sirius gargled as the—as Daddy hit something else inside him, in the centre of his belly and it turned and turned so much and his hole sucked at it. Greedy and desperate, Sirius’ body pulled it all in to settle with the rest. Daddy moaned, low and approving, and the sound broke Sirius in a million pieces, waves of bliss choking him as he thrashed on the chair.“Good fucking job, baby,” Daddy moaned. He kissed all over Sirius’ belly, stroked Sirius’ little cock and Sirius cried out in pain, trying to listen through the noise in his head. “So good… my baby… pretty…”The words licked at his brain, sticky and heavy like honey, dripping into his eyes and mouth and tasting so much like Daddy. Sirius wanted more, he wanted so much more, and his Daddy took his little cock into his mouth and Sirius heard himself scream and choke, and his hands were in Daddy’s hair but it wasn’t—he should put them back where they were supposed to be.“It’s okay baby, come down,” Daddy was saying. He kept his hands around Sirius’ back as he helped him sit up, and he held him still as he convulsed, the toy twisting and turning him inside out.When his feet hit the ground, Sirius’ knees gave out. It was too much too much everything inside him moved downward, but his hole was too tight to let it out and so it moved and squirmed and slithered and pushed under Sirius’ bellybutton and went back up up up, and Sirius fell to his knees. His hands flew to his tummy as if he could hold it still, press it back into place. He gasped as it twisted again, something alive moving under his skin.“Do you want to crawl, pet?” Daddy asked softly, bending down to kiss him. Sirius keened high in his throat for another one. “Go to the mirror, look at yourself.”Sirius wanted to stay there at Daddy’s feet. He didn’t want to go far from the chair, or Daddy’s hands, or Daddy’s cock. But he had to do what he was told because Daddy called him a good boy and Sirius sure was one—the best boy his Daddy could ever have.Each movement was a struggle, Daddy’s toy pressed against most of him. Every time he clenched his muscles the toy fucked him all over again. Every time he breathed his belly felt like it was touching the floor. As he reached the mirror, he sat back on his heels, and gasped.Oh, but he was so beautiful. With a full belly and drool on his chin. With tears on his lashes and a limp, damp little cock. He blinked once. Twice. His hand was stroking his belly slowly as he rocked back and forth, and a pretty smile stretched his lips when Daddy stepped beside him. Daddy stood so tall next to Sirius broken form, crumpled on the ground at his feet.It was naturally one of Sirius’ favourite places to be, with his head resting on Daddy’s knee and Daddy’s hand in his hair. They looked like owner and property, and the thought made Sirius’ heart stutter.A happy whine crawled out of Sirius’ throat, and he pressed his face against Daddy’s thigh, mouthing at the skin—soft, warm, and solid, like an anchor in all the spinning. Kisses. Licking. Messy and needy, not even sure where he was aiming, but closer, closer to Daddy’s cock, because please—he needed it so bad. Weight shifted inside him, a low, twisting pressure that had Sirius gasping and his thighs trembling, knees spread wide on the cold floor. It set him on fire, boiling from the inside as it throbbed, bringing Sirius to the floor, writhing and trying to breathe. He wanted Daddy’s cock, but Daddy’s toy just wouldn’t stop moving.Finally, Sirius cried, “Daddy…” spilling out in a whine, or a sob—the word was wet and broken. It moved into Sirius’ body and drummed in the muscles of his stomach, trying to keep them from clenching again. He moved slowly then, careful.Daddy’s hand came to rest at the back of his neck, fingers fisting the damp hair. Sirius really hoped Daddy wanted to fuck his face again. “Come on,” he murmured, tilting his head to bring Sirius to his feet. When he saw Sirius was too damaged to walk, Daddy picked him up and laid him down on the bed. “You can have it for a little bit.”Sirius watched him as he rounded the bed and dragged his limp body on the mattress until his heavy head drop down the side. Sirius folded in on himself, a stab of pleasure hitting his lungs when he understood. His hole clenched too hard, electricity rippled through his insides. His hands trembled on the covers as he gasped, but no air came to his open mouth—only Daddy’s cock, filling his throat hard and fast. He choked and gagged, a wet, garbled noise that came from his chest as he felt the tip of Daddy’s cock all the way in his guts, echoing through the crowded space there.The fullness stole what was left of his breath and his mind reeled, blanking out when blood rushed to his head as Daddy pressed forward, rutting the tip of his cock deep inside his throat. Too much, too deep—a scream built in his lungs, residual air trying to push out as his hands scrambled weakly at the back of Daddy’s thighs and his hips buckled, as if he could move Daddy in his hole too.A sob and he tightened around both cocks, whole body trembling as the smell of Daddy’s skin wrapped around him, warm and suffocating and perfect. His chest heaved, his eyes rolled, and he just… let go, drowning in the ecstasy of Daddy all around him, everywhere inside him.Daddy’s voice was low and dark, and it dripped with love just like Sirius was. “That’s it, baby,” he said, his fingers gripping Sirius’ neck and squeezing, massaging his big cock from outside. Sirius couldn’t even open his eyes, but he was sure his Daddy sounded happy. Sounded proud. “Take it all, just like that.”Tears were running down Sirius’ temples and soaking in his hair, drool was dripping down on his cheeks and forehead. His face pulsed with every pump of his heart, yet Sirius had never felt better in his life, had never felt prettier. He was happy, so happy Daddy was using him, so happy to have all his favourite holes.“My perfect little baby, all stuffed and stretched and mine.” Daddy’s voice was hoarse. It was far away. “Want Daddy to fuck your other hole too?”There was no room in his head for anything. Sirius tried to nod, tried to keen, to moan, to move, but black was coming for him fast and he couldn’t—but Daddy pulled out of his mouth and let Sirius have a bit of air, and Sirius nodded as he choked, as he tried to speak, to use that little air he took to make him understand, “Please—Daddy—”And that made Daddy smile before he bent down to leave a kiss on his swollen mouth. He went right back in, he fucked and fucked and fucked until Sirius’ nose was pressed into his bollocks, until Sirius’ drool was dripping all over his face and his pelvis kept Sirius’ jaw wide open. Sirius gagged as Daddy’s hand stroke over his belly, he choked when his fingers stopped to play with his limp cock.“We’ll fill this one as well soon enough,” he commented, and even though Sirius did not understand all of the words, he knew he’d let Daddy play with it if he wanted.But when Daddy’s fingers closed around the cock in his hole, every single muscle in Sirius’ body locked up in fear. He couldn’t let it go, couldn’t let it come out—what would be of him once it was gone? What would he be with an empty belly? Yet he was at the mercy of Daddy’s hands, and when the toy moved, Sirius moved with it until some popped out.A scream managed to come out of his stuffed throat, and he understood that he’d been wrong, so so wrong. He wasn’t empty at all. Sirius had finally, finally become just a hole to be filled and a mouth to be used, the very favourite thing of his Daddy’s, for sure.The cock in his throat pushed and pushed, every inch of him was on fire as his belly was emptied and filled, as Daddy slithered in and out, as his holes clenched down, tried to keep him inside, to keep themselves full.It burned, it felt so good—no, bad, too bad, too full, it hurt—he needed it.His body quivered, it didn’t know how to stop, didn’t know how to—his lungs burned, trying to pull air in, but Daddy thrust all the way inside his hole and Sirius couldn’t breathe but he wailed with the last of his air as his guts moved and twisted at Daddy’s will.Pulling, stretching, pushing inside his body, so full—too full. So it begged for more. Squeezed, throbbed, sucked in every inch, wanted more of the ache, the stretch. It was everything, it was nothing, everything... it was his whole world, moving, pulsing, filling him up—so deep. So deep. He could feel Daddy inside, in his hole, his tummy, in his guts and in his throat.Too deep, too full, he couldn’t stop it, couldn’t escape. Daddy had broken him down to a hole, a flashlight to keep on the shelf and use however he liked.If Sirius were to think, he’d be taken care of with some cock.If Sirius were to move, a nice paddle to his pearly skin was due.And if Sirius were to give into the shadow, then his Daddy could make so much more use out of him. Sirius wanted to be the best hole Daddy could ever wish for. It was more than wanting; it was a need, a craving, deep inside his hole, right where Daddy ended.Everything was sinking into him, and Sirius wanted to let it all go to Daddy, let Daddy take him, use him, break him, but he couldn’t remember how—he couldn’t remember what was real. He knew he was quivering, that his lungs burned. Yet he couldn’t focus on anything past how good Daddy was fucking him, thrusting in his mouth and his hole at the same time, stealing Sirius’ air and pushing down on his belly to make it hurt so good, making it all so tight and cosy for h A screech, a wail, his eyes opened again to tears tears tears.The pain was all he knew and Sirius clenched and screamed and coughed and squirmed, trying to get away, trying to move. He loved it so. Daddy was looming over him, smiling as his hips thrust hard and fast in his stuffed little hole. Sirius sobbed and shook, but Daddy’s hand gripped his neck so hard that Sirius’ mouth opened wide.“Welcome back, little love,” he said.The torment was all consuming, devastating his hole and his insides and his brain. Daddy chuckled and pushed a hand down on his belly. Sirius couldn’t breathe at all. Daddy was using him so well—so deep, so big, pushing everything inside him, harder and harder as he fucked deeper in his guts. The bliss was too much, Sirius cried and gasped wetly every time Daddy’s dick punched his core, the very centre of him.Sirius was lost. Completely shattered under Daddy’s relentless thrusts. His mind couldn’t—he was nothing but a whimpering whore taking every brutal thrust with an eagerness that made his heart race and his navel burn so hot, he felt like he was about to burst.There was something—
something
it was happening inside him, cumulating, pooling in his guts, squeezing past Daddy’s toy and Daddy’s cock, wrapping itself around those spots inside that made him keen. It ached in his little prick, in his balls as they drew up and shoot out nothing at all. It ached in the bruised walls of his hole, so deep and insatiable, pulsing with something he didn’t know and making him clench down and feel it all twist and ripple and reach so deep inside his belly.“Daddy,” he tried, but didn’t know what he could say.What was it? He didn’t know, and he had no words to describe it anyway, because Daddy’s cock was taking them all away, only making him aware of the way he filled him and made him utterly used and complete. It was euphoric, it brought a small smile to Sirius’ face.Until something else, something that shifted with Daddy’s hand. It tugged, his hole yielded suddenly, and Sirius’ mind blanked with joy as he thought of himself as broken, thoroughly delighted as more flames burned his navel. But as Daddy kept going, Sirius felt the tug deep inside him too, as it slithered and unraveled from the most remote depths of his body.“No!” Sirius cried out, panic breaking the simple word as he realised his hole was emptying itself. “D-Daddy help! Please!”Horror and euphoria fuelled his keens as he watched his stomach move, toy wiggling and writhing as it ran away from him. Daddy laughed and did not stop it at all, instead fucking Sirius harder into the pit of fire and despair.It came out fast, too fast as it dragged against Sirius’ hole, squeezing past any weak resistance, pulling itself from the warmth of him. He gagged and shook, his legs tried to close but Daddy kept them wide open and pinched the tip of his soft prick for punishment.That, Sirius felt it like a punch. He wailed high in his throat and pushed it all out—pushed the toy out of his hole, pushed the tears out of his eyes and he came so hard his Daddy had to keep him down again. But then Daddy moaned, so loud that it rattled Sirius’ bones and he fucked into his poor hole hard, a wild, brutal look in Sirius’ eyes, and Sirius was weeping, clenching, floating in his head and drenching—His navel burned, his hole hurt so bad it made him cry, and his cock was useless but it pulsed and drooled so much. Sirius’s breath stuttered, his eyes flying wide as he tried to shake his head but it was too late.Back arched off the bed, he shook in bliss again as Daddy fucked him so violently that he broke the pool of heat. A strangled cry was all he could manage before his little cock pulsed and drenched him. It wasn’t like usual. It was something else entirely, something primal and overwhelming that left Sirius gasping for air, his vision blurring as another wave of earth shattering fire roared through him and sent him over the edge again and again.“Oh, fuck,” Daddy groaned. His pounding faltered for the first time and he sounded wrecked, and Sirius felt so proud of himself for breaking so beautifully. “That’s s… baby… so pretty.”Every nerve in Sirius’ body was alight, burning as Daddy pounded into him again and again. The noise was deafening, so lewd that if Sirius had any shame left he’d blush. He could not make sense of words, thinking was hard. And Sirius didn’t want to do it anyway, not when he was coming and coming and Daddy was fucking him so good and he was going to come too.The pressure was still there, and his cock kept leaking as Sirius whimpered and took it all, Daddy’s thrusts, Daddy’s nails on his skin, Daddy’s teeth on his neck. Sirius couldn’t stop any of it, waves of painful pleasure left him trembling and begging, his hole clenched and milked his Daddy’s cock, desperately trying to keep him inside his loose hole.Even breathing was impossible with scorching liquid pooling in his balls and rushing out of his poor little dick, with Daddy pushing into him so hard that he was almost folded in two. He was talking, Sirius knew that. He could see his mouth moving over his face, the twitch of his lips and eyebrow, but all he could think was how much his Daddy looked like a god, leading Sirius into eternal bliss, washing him in holy fire and erasing all of his sins.The tight grip around Sirius’ neck made his vision blacken around the edges as warmth spread through his insides. Sirius choked out a moan, body taut like a bow, sent into the abyss once more, clenching and wetting everywhere, gasping in short, laboured breaths under Daddy’s hold.Mouth opened wide, eyes rolled back, Sirius’ cock burned from root to tip. He felt Daddy’s incredulous laugh and kisses on his face, though he could not move to give them back. Daddy must’ve known, because he spat on his tongue and came deep inside him. It was a wonderful treat, and tears of blissful gratitude fell from Sirius’ eyes.“Oh, sweetheart,” Daddy whispered in his ear, a hand caressing down Sirius’ leg. Daddy’s growl vibrated through him when his fingers dipped inside. “You were—you are so good, little love. So fucking good.”A pitiful whine escaped his throat when Daddy’s cock slipped out of him. It was okay though—Daddy’s fingers were still there, pressing that devastating spot that made Sirius’ chest feel like it might cave in. His body trembled, helpless, as a long, broken moan tumbled out of him as his poor little prick kept weeping and drooling on his stomach.“You’re wide open, baby. I could just—”Words washed over him, half-heard, as Daddy’s fingers spread, stretched him so much more. A sound—it was wet, obscene and it filled the room, blending with his ragged cries. It was too much, too full, but all he could do was clutch at the sheets, utterly undone by the heat and the pain and daddydaddydaddy“Can Daddy use his hand, little love?”Sirius heard himself making garbled noise, almost a yes but not quite. He had no idea if it was permission or just the sound of his own wreckage. Wide open, stretched, quivering. The drag of Daddy’s fingers making his toes curl and his mind fizz into absolutely nothing. The fullness was something beyond comprehension, deeper, thicker, a slow, deliberate drip like honey in his brain that had his breath hitching and his body arching. Sticky, sucking noises. Breathless, high-pitched cries spilling from his throat. His muscles shook, a deep ache bloomed low in his stomach.But it wasn’t bad—it wasn’t bad at all. It couldn’t be, with his Daddy there. It couldn’t be, when his Daddy’s hand stroke inside him tenderly, lovingly, caring like he was when he had something delicate in his grasp. Sirius felt dainty, fragile. He was safe in his Daddy’s grasp.“You’re my good girl now, aren’t you, love?” Daddy cooed.All Sirius could do was nod, dazed. He was so open, so full, so completely Daddy’s that it left him stripped bare in every way that mattered. He was Daddy’s good girl, taking all of him and more, crying and begging for something even he didn’t know.“I want to see your clit squirt again.”Then, Sirius wailed in pain as Daddy rubbed the tip of his—Daddy rubbed and rubbed and circled it like a… like a—Sirius didn’t know anymore, he couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t do anything but sob as Moony pressed, circled, relentless. The ache shot through him, sharp and searing, but it melted into something else, something he couldn’t name but craved more of. His legs twitched, useless, trembling.Another wail tore from his throat, and he rocked, up and down up and down because he could feel it, he could feel the fire and he could feel Daddy’s hand and he had to had to had to push it deeper, faster please Daddy please!And Daddy—Daddy read his mind, because he moved his whole, beautiful hand. Deeper, harder, faster, too much. Too good. His whole body felt like it might break apart, splinter, crack open around the pressure of Daddy’s big fist, but Sirius wasn’t afraid. Not with Daddy, who cooed soft, loving words into the fog, even as he kept—kept rubbing and flicking his… his clit, punching inside him so hard, making those noises…“Good girl,” Daddy murmured again, voice warm like sunlight, rough like velvet. “Taking me so well. My perfect babygirl.”The words scattered his mind like shards of glass, and Sirius wasn’t Sirius anymore. He wasn’t even a person, just Daddy’s. Finally! Just open and soft and pliant and wrecked. Letting Daddy’s hand push, fill, twist, stretch. Just a body trembling violently, and he keened, high and broken, the sound clawing its way out of his throat.“You’re the best little love in the universe,” Daddy said, like a lullaby of starlight, so pretty and bright. “I’ve got you, baby. Let go.”All he could feel was his Daddy.Daddy’s voice, Daddy’s warmth keeping him from flying away again.Daddy’s hands on him—in him, heavy, strong, everywhere, touching him, claiming every part of him. Pushing prodding fucking, so slow, pressing so deep it carved a place inside Sirius all over again. Fingers flexing, curling, stretching him like he was something precious, something sacred. Rubbing stroking brushing his wet clit like it was the only thing Daddy ever wanted to touch, like Sirius had the centre of everything between his legs.His hips jerked helplessly to chase the flames under his navel, he rocked up and down in a mindless dance with the way Daddy moved—like he wanted to take Sirius apart piece by piece. Like he wanted to see it. It devastated him with the slow rhythm that left him trembling, raw and undone, and it wasn’t enough—never ever ever enough. His hips shook, desperate to pull him deeper, harder, faster, but Daddy smiled as he kept it slow, cruelly lazy.Then, Daddy’s fingers flicked again, Sirius screeched when he felt his little clit burn and explode. Wetness spilled from him, hot and runny, soaking his stomach, his chest, even his chin, and Sirius broke apart, didn’t he? He shattered, exploded just like a dying star, yet he was whole.Complete and burning and collapsing into himself at the same time.Sirius whimpered, wailed, sobbed—sound after sound after sound spilling out of him without meaning, without restraint. Muscles shaking, back arching, vision blurring into white-hot bursts of light. The heat in his tummy grew and broke open in a chasm right under Sirius’ little clit, dragging Sirius deep down into the core of the whole world, burning him from the inside, melting him, dissolving every piece so the rhythm of Daddy’s hands and the cadence of Daddy’s voice could sculpt him back together.Stars and moons swirled around him, brilliant in the infinite universe, and Sirius arched, his muscles twitching, his legs splayed wide and useless as Daddy worked him through it, touched him, loved him. The slick sounds filled the room, Daddy’s fist punching and punching pleasure from his hole right out of his poor little clit. Daddy was speaking again. Sirius didn’t hear the words, just the way it wrapped around him, silky and lovely, driving his descend into oblivion.They were both there, yet they were the same person, the same mind. They were two, yet had one heartbeat, one breath as they existed in Sirius’ eyes like a dream, soft and hazy and beautiful. Sirius floated weightlessly in it—in them, untethered. All that remained was a raw, aching bliss pulsing through him (them?), endless and eternal.The fire had ebbed to smouldering warmth as Daddy’s hands worshipped him, as they pulled him back when the infinite chaos seemed too vast for them (him?). They stayed on him and inside him, kept him open and soft and pliant, and Sirius relished in the pain, in the utter agony as it all was a sign, a testimony of being theirs, of belonging to Daddy’s hands. To Sirius and Daddy, and to Daddy’s hands, and Sirius did not want it to ever end again. He wanted to live in that moment, in that bliss and in that torment, he never wanted to leave the quiet, boundless safety of the place where he was theirs.Just theirs—broken, precious, perfect, loved. Sirius didn’t want to not be theirs. He tried to grab Daddy’s shoulders, but he was weak, pathetic without Daddy’s help and he whimpered, lips trembling as he tried to think of words, of ways to beg his Daddy to hold him and never let him go. Sirius should always be theirs, always. He was nothing, and everything, and theirs.“I’ve got you,” Daddy murmured in his ear, like a promise, like a spell. His touch slowed, gentled, and Sirius’ body followed—twitching and trembling as the tension ebbed, leaving him a shaking, melted puddle on the bed. His chest heaved, his lungs trying to catch up, right before exploding in inhibited sobs. “Oh, my love, it’s okay, it’s okay—”Slick sucking sounds echoed in the room when Daddy took his hand out of Sirius’ battered body. It left behind a tremendous emptiness, a hollow ache that made him feel cold as ice. Daddy didn’t stop speaking, though Sirius couldn’t focus on the words anymore. They were soft, soothing noises, washing over him like a warm tide. Fingers brushed over his skin, wiping tears or sweat, or both with—with mint?Sirius cried, distraught, and let himself reach out again. He didn’t care if it was desperate, if he was pitiful. He needed Daddy, his touch, his body, his warmth. It was so cold now.“You’re alright, my love,” Daddy murmured. “I’m here, yeah? Just breathe for me.”Breathing was too much though, wasn't it? Every gasp burned his throat, every sob rattled his chest so much he choked, and the world around him was too big, too loud. Sirius wheezed and gasped and cried, fingers reaching towards his Daddy, so far away, so close to leaving. But Daddy always knew better, didn’t he?The heat of Daddy’s body seeped into him, grounding him in his chest when he laid his whole body on top of Sirius. He was heavy, so much bigger than him, and Sirius’ body was almost crushed between him and the soft under his back. But he could finally breathe again, he could shake and tremble without worrying about breaking apart or floating away, he could… he could just let it go and—and go to sleep. He was so tired.“You’re safe, little love,” Daddy whispered in his ear. Sirius knew. He was sure. “You’re safe and you’re mine. You can let go now, yeah?”The ache was still there, deep and raw, but it wasn’t unbearable anymore. Not when Daddy was all over him, not when Daddy was everything. His body unwinded slowly, sobs turned into soft hiccups as exhaustion began to pull at him, helping his Daddy as it melted Sirius to the soft under him. The emptiness inside him felt endless, like he’d been gutted and left to drift, but Daddy’s weight held him there, didn’t let him get lost.“You did so well, my love,” Daddy said, lips brushing Sirius’ temple.Sirius closed his eyes, and let his gravity pull him down. The sheets were heavy on his naked skin when Sirius awoke, body sore and aching. The warmth was back, all around him, but he was stuck in a world between sleep and waking. His mind flickered with aftershocks when he tried to move his legs, distant pain reverberating up his spine slowly, thickly.For a moment, he couldn’t remember where he was. He didn’t recognise the large window on his left, nor the dim light on the nightstand. For a moment, he was lost inside the Midnight Room.He closed his eyes and fell back asleep to the rustling of sheets around him. A soft noise and a muttered curse woke him. Computer light illuminated his surroundings, and Sirius realised he wasn’t in the Midnight Room anymore. Slowly, he turned his head towards the window. Plants, roofs, the Eye—it was Remus’ room.The air smelled of old books, sandalwood, and something else Sirius could never quite place. His head felt too heavy to lift, looking for Remus, searching for his hands, for a kiss. He blinked a few times, staring at the ceiling above him—the world was slow, like he was moving underwater. The ache in his body persisted, throbbing and pulsing, yet the emptiness inside him was almost overwhelming. His lip wobbled again, and he gasped sharply when he tried to move. Hands found him immediately, gentle and careful, as though they knew the moment his body trembled too violently. Remus. Moony. The warmth, the steady presence, the way Moony’s fingers brushed against his skin with a tenderness that made his breath catch.“Easy does it, my love,” Remus murmured softly, his voice low and soothing.Sirius whined quietly. His muscles tensed under Remus’ touch, even if it was the only lifeline pulling his mind away from the fog. He tried to relax, but it was hard to focus on anything else but his empty space.“Moony,” Sirius croaked, voice cracked and broken by the first semi-coherent thing he said in hours. “D-don’t know if…”“You’re okay.” Remus’ fingers found a path to Sirius’ jaw, tilting his head up gently and slowly. Moony’s eyes looked so in love. “Take your time. I’m right here.”Sirius nodded, but the tension in his chest almost sunk his lungs in. “‘M empty,” he mumbled miserably. “Sorry but—Moony, I’m so empty.”“Shh, my love, I know,” Remus said, leaving a kiss on Sirius’ forehead. “I didn’t want to do it while you slept. Do you want my fingers?”Sirius nodded frantically. “Please… sorry.”“No need, my love.” Remus brushed one hand through his hair slowly, while the other gently pushed three slippery fingers inside Sirius’ quivering body. “You’re still so loose. This will help you, yeah? No funny business, though.”Just like that, the emptiness was chased away. The ache was still there, but he wasn’t hollow, he wouldn’t cave in with an exhale. His body bare down, wishing the fingers to keep going as he responded instinctively to the pressure, to the careful, purposeful way Remus guided him, to the need for Remus’ fingers to sooth something deep inside of him.“Baby—”“No, I…” Sirius swallowed, heavy lids opening because he needed Remus to understand. “No funny—just… deeper?”Remus studied his face for a couple of seconds, before nodding and shifting on the bed to push his fingers all the way inside. The tension in Sirius’ body finally melted into a long, trembling sigh.“Better?” Remus asked after a moment, voice as steady as his fingers.Sirius hummed, the sound small and tired. “Yeah,” he rasped, barely audible. “Better.”The emptiness, the hollow, cavernous feeling that threatened to swallow him whole was gone. In its place was warmth. Steady, calming warmth, like sunlight filtering through curtains in the morning. His hands instinctively reached for Remus, and Remus guided one to his arm, letting Sirius hold on as tight as he needed. Sirius blinked rapidly, his vision blurring as emotion swelled and cracked something open inside him.“I—” His breath hitched. “Just—thank you.”“You never have to thank me,” Remus said softly, his hand brushing over Sirius’ hair with infinite tenderness. “If we’re not playing, that is.” Sirius huffed a weak laugh, body clenching on Remus’ fingers for a moment. He felt Remus’ smile on the skin of his temple. “How clear is your head? You good to talk?”Sirius took a moment to evaluate, but he could already tell that he was mostly back to normal. Remus didn’t rush him though, he waited patiently, running his free hand all over Sirius’ naked body. “Mostly clear. ‘M good now.”“We can work with mostly, do you think?”“Yeah,” Sirius nodded. “I just… hate the after. You shouldn’t have to—”“Nuh-huh,” Remus interrupted gently. “I don’t have to do anything. I want to take care of you. ’S different.”Sirius’ throat tightened, and he bit down hard on his lip. “Alright.”“Alright,” Remus repeated with a smile. “So, assessing first. Head?”“Seven.”“Body?”“Uhm, four?” Sirius sighed. “Hurts from waist down. Rest is just sore.”A soft hum. “Bad hurt?”“Long scene hurt,” Sirius muttered. “Extreme sexual deviancy hurt.”Remus snorted indelicately against his temple. “So dramatic.”“Accurate, though,” Sirius said, cracking a small smile and gasping quietly when Remus slid one finger out of him.“It is,” he replied. “We pushed pretty hard, and you did beautifully. Now we care for each other. I want to start with apologising. We did not discuss feminisation for today, nor fisting. I apologise for going through with it.”Sirius let out another sigh as a deep blush coloured his cheeks. “I accept your apology because I know you need to do it. But I—I liked it, so it’s okay.”“It’s not okay,” Remus shook his head. “We had discussed the scene beforehand, and I deviated from it.”“Alright,” Sirius conceded. “I had enough presence of mind, and I did not use my safewords knowingly. I trust you completely to know me and my reactions.”“Thank you, my love,” Remus said, pressing a lingering kiss to Sirius’ temple. He carefully withdrew his hand, replacing the stretch with a warm, steadying palm on Sirius’ navel. “No cramping? Discomfort?”“Don’t think so.” Sirius’ grip tightened on Remus’ forearm when he clenched down on nothing. He blinked up at him, still flushed, body pliant but his mind more alert. “Mh-mh, no.”“How did you feel about the scene?”The blush on his face was on full bloom, and Sirius pouted at his mind for coming back to him completely. “Loved all of it. Though it’s a bit too intense for a repeat anytime soon?”“Agreed,” Remus nodded. “We’ll check again tomorrow. No hiding anything, you understand?”Sirius suppressed the need to roll his eyes and bite down on Remus’ shoulder. “I do, yeah.”“You missed a lot of opportunities for the usual ‘yessir’,” Remus commented, biting down a smile. “You sure you’re okay?”Sirius did roll his eyes. “I am clearly still in the throes of unthinkable pleasure.”“Ah, I see you’ve got jokes,” Remus commented, stretching towards the side table and coming back with a bottle of water. “Then you can sit up and drink this.”Sirius groaned dramatically, doing all he could to make it clear that he did not appreciate the movement, huffing and gasping as if he’d been mortally wounded. “You’re a cruel man. A sadist really.”Remus hummed as he watched him chug half the bloody thing in one go. “Pace yourself. And I am a sadist. That’s why this works, my little masochist.”“Woe is me, for I shall forever be manhandled.” He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, then dried it on Remus’ chest. “There. Happy?”“Ecstatic,” Remus deadpanned, glancing down at the wet streak on his chest. “Clearly you’re back to yourself as your manners are improving by leaps and bounds.”“I am the picture of sophistication,” Sirius said, nose in the air and all.Remus scoffed. “That you—”“And I’m also fucking starving.”