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𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐒𝐖𝐀𝐍 The Sawon, a moon goddess temple sang to Taehyung in a holy silence that wrapped around him like a welcome embrace. He knelt to pray, heedless of the fact that there were no others in the pews of holy sanctum. The hard tile floor felt good beneath his knees, and somehow grounding.“Moon, what did I do wrong? We didn’t argue. We didn’t fight. We moved forward together in our holy marriage. Why did he leave it behind? How was that even possible for him? How did I fail him? And You?”He sobbed openly, speaking the words aloud, heedless of being overheard. The space was empty anyhow. He laid his head on his folded hands trying desperately to bring himself to a new understanding of his life.‘Your faith is the key to your happiness.’The words Priest Hyungsik said on their union four years ago resounded through the entirety of his being. The decree swept through him with such power he went straight, tears drying on his cheeks as he blinked, and assimilated. Had he not already been on his knees, the summons would have knocked him there like the weakened heap of sadness he had become.Taehyung pondered. Go forward? In peace? How was he supposed to accomplish that? In prompt, near supernatural response, he received the answer.‘You are the creator of your own world.’He bowed his head, drained and empty, submitting himself as best he could. Just then, the sound of footsteps echoed down the main aisle.“Taehyung?” The call jarred him. He whipped his head around and gasped at what he saw.Jungkook.Jungkook?Did he simply think his name, or had he spoken it aloud? Stunned and overwrought, Taehyung scrambled to his feet. In an untidy spin, he faced his husband. Just as quickly, he went weak, sinking onto the pew just a second or two after standing. He didn’t need a mirror to tell him that his kohl was smeared and his hair was a mess. He knew by the heat in his cheeks that his face was flushed; his eyes were probably red from crying.Jungkook’s alarmed expression confirmed every one of his suspicions. “Taehyung, are you OK? Please talk to me. This is driving me crazy. What’s happened to you, swan?”Swan.The use of that endearment caused his stomach to churn. Anger rose and obliterated everything else. “Don’t.”Jungkook’s confusion intensified.“I mean it, Jungkook. Do not call me that again. Not ever again!” He bit off the words; their bitter taste filled his mouth.Jungkook reared back at the intensity of aloofness in his husband’s voice. Although he hesitated for a moment, he eased into the pew next to his mate. A mask of sorts, protective and inscrutable, now shaded his eyes.He didn’t speak. He waited on Taehyung, keeping to his corner of the pew. Taehyung simmered and seethed. Just as quickly, though, the anger fled, washed away by a wave of sadness that stretched clear through to every cell in his body.“This moment is killing me, Jungkook, on so many levels. I’ve dreamed about it since the day we mated and accepted our bond, imagining it to be bursting with joy and anticipation. Instead, it’s breaking my heart.”“What moment? What happened?” Generally fearless and confident, Jungkook regarded Taehyung now in open trepidation. “I have no idea what to do to hel—”“I’ll never have another chance to say this to you for the first time,” Taehyung interjected, “or share this moment with you the way I had always envisioned. I’m pregnant, Jungkook. I’m pregnant.”A mix of emotions swept across his face. Disbelief came first, erased quickly by joy, then the most crushing visual of all: his love, intimate and rich. It had once made his feel so precious. Despite his vocal firestorm, Jungkook’s reaction was everything Taehyung had prayed for. This moment should have made his heart soar. Instead, he was shattered.“You seem shocked.” The words came out sounding waspish. Taehyung hated that fact, but couldn’t escape the rage and heartbreak. The venom inside him needed release.“I’m very happily shocked.” His response came fast, but sincere. “We’ve wanted this for so long, I’m thrilled—no wonder you’ve been feeling—”“I’m sure you’ll remember the night it happened.” Taehyung cut him off once more. “It was spontaneous and heated and wonderful. Remember? There were no thoughts of anything else but each other. Or so I had believed. But if you do the math, you’ll realize we conceived the night you met Park Jimin.” He sneered at his husband. “After all, it’s not like there’s been a ton of times that we’ve made love since then.”Jungkook went pale. Taehyung wanted to slap him across the face so hard that he’d be left marked by the strike of his hand. Why had he done it? Why hadn’t he woken from whatever delusion clouded his mind? In the end, he restrained himself. Of course, he couldn’t lash out. They were in a holy place, after all. A Sawon out of all. A sanctuary for everyone.Even Jungkook. Even him.“Oh—God—”Jungkook had obviously connected the dots. The exclamation that crossed his lips wasn’t a curse; it was a plea.Taehyung recognized the difference yet fought to maintain enough control to remain seated next to him. “Ironic, isn’t it, that I’d get pregnant the night you came home from Seoul Night—and him. I gave myself to you freely, Jungkook. Like I always have. At the time, I had no idea the husband I love—the alpha I’ve loved with all my heart—had most likely been riled up by dancing sensual circles around another omega.”Jungkook gasped.Taehyung plowed ahead. “Yes, I received a rather rude shock at the AT anniversary party. A couple of the employees who were probably too tipsy for their own good discussed a kiss you shared with Jimin at the studio recently. Imagine how I felt, Jungkook. Just imagine it!”A vein at his temple began to throb. Strain tightened his mouth and furrowed brows deepened the subtle lines around his eyes. Oh, Taehyung was hitting the mark with all kinds of poisoned darts. It felt good. And positively horrifying. Wrong. Still, he couldn’t stop.“Taehyung. Please listen—““Gossip, Jungkook. Sordid gossip. That’s what you and I have been reduced to. That’s what our marriage has been reduced to. I feel so much anger, and shame—at you, and at myself—that I can’t even begin to think straight. You’re looking at this pregnancy as a beginning. It’s not. To me, it marks the end. And I honestly don’t know how to handle that fact. I’m sick to the depths of my soul. That’s my truth—no matter what yours and Jimin’s might happen to be.”“Taehyung.” Jungkook sucked in a breath and looked away. When his gaze tagged the omega again, an ocean of sorrow bathed his deep brown eyes. “There is no me and Jimin!”“Yes there is, Jungkook, and I can’t even begin to figure out how to deal with it.” His pained expression rolled off the armor he had erected. “Were we that bad off? I knew we needed to refocus, and spend more time together, but I had no idea I hadn’t fulfilled your life. I had no idea you had fallen out of love with me.”“I haven’t fallen out of love with you whatsoever.” A silence ensued that was hot and thick. “Believe me when I say that.”“Oh i wish I could.” !!~~~~!!!!~~~~!! TRIVIA: A/N: Wait for it on NOVEMBER 2
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“I don’t mean to push you.” Jungkook corrected the collar of his dress shirt and slid his tie into place, adjusting its fall. He stared at his reflection in the mirror, knowing his words weren’t entirely true.“I know that, Ggukie.” Taehyung, his husband, stood next to him at the double vanity. Dressed for bed, Taehyung wore a green checkered nightdress. He moisturized his arms and then his face. Jungkook paused to watch him, captivated by the graceful, automatic motions, the soul-deep beauty his husband carried with a complete lack of awareness. The image of his husband left an ache inside Jungkook’s chest. He loved Taehyung so much that it hurt.“I miss you when you’re not there.” Jungkook refitted the shirt collar and then double-checked the knot on his patterned silk tie. “I like hearing your thoughts and impressions of the new recruits, but mostly I just simply enjoy your company. Your calming scent put my alpha at ease.”His shoulders sagged. Through the mirror, Taehyung docketed his husband with an apologetic look. Jungkook had known that a look of regret was coming; Taehyung was ready for bed, after all. Additionally, Jungkook knew the regret came from his heart.That’s why his statement about missing Taehyung and enjoying his company lacked any form of judgment. Just longing. Jungkook did miss his husband’s companionship and the warmth of him at his side. With increasing frequency.“We used to have fun scouting talent at the local clubs, talking about anything and everything while we listened to their music. Plus, this is supposedly a great new place, and we haven’t had a ‘date night’ in quite a while.” Jungkook paused again, just long enough to look at Taehyung once more. He smelled his scent—woodsy, that only meant denial. Gentle refusal still swam in his eyes, so Jungkook braced himself for a quiet ‘no thanks.’“Hase, you’ll be working. I get in the way when you’re shaking and moving.” Taehyung smiled at him, sincerely. His eyes were so soft, a beautiful shade of deep green.Jungkook smiled at the endearment. He remembered that word still as clear as the day—they were on their third honeymoon to Frankfurt, Germany. And Taehyung spotted a little girl chasing a white bunny screaming Hase...hase...häschen in German and Taehyung ran after her, helping her catch the white bunny. Of course, they couldn’t catch it, but the nickname remained when the little girl called Jungkook—hase, they had a good laugh for an hour. Even when they laughed at it, the nickname made its way in their love.And from that day onward Jungkook became his Hase for life.“Next time, OK? I’m seriously tapped out, or I’d let you tempt me.” Taehyung moved close and wrapped his arms around him, resting his head on his chest. Jungkook wrapped his arms around his thin waist, ignoring the bite of disappointment, the urge for accusations, like: ‘We have no pup, Taehyung, nothing that ties us down. At least be with me. I know you’re busy with a hundred different activities...activities that don’t involve us. I want you with me but all you care about is helping a non-profit organization you work for, this city, and I know that fills you up, but what about us? Where do we fit together?’The thoughts launched, but with practiced ease, Jungkook shot each one down. He knew he was being selfish.Taehyung was tired. The refreshing autumn wrapped Seoul in blossoms, and Taehyung had spent the entire afternoon and evening volunteering at a soup kitchen and warming center sponsored by KKOF - Korean Kids and Orphanage Foundation, where he and Taehyung were activists.“Tell you what.” Taehyung leaned back in his arms. The curve of his lips, that promising sparkle in his eyes, almost cured his sadness. “I’ll wait up for you.”Jungkook nodded. He dotted his nose with feather kisses; his hands slid against the fabric of his nightshirt as his scent spiked in arousal. Pink color highlighted his honeyed skin and turned his spectacular eyes to absolutely dazzling.Jungkook made a vow to himself, then and there, that he’d get home as early as he could. He couldn’t wait to wrap his arms around his husband and sleep in his warm embrace after making love. ~~!!!~~ Annoyance riled him as he drove north on Highway 62. He didn’t need to do this, especially when they already had a few artists. It would be a typical late night/early morning spent at a jazz club, this time listening to a jazz singer. Then, if he recognized any kind of potential, he’d have to host an introductory meeting. They weren’t supposed to be taking on new clients. His list of represented artists was exclusive and full of overflowing. He would have much preferred a quiet evening at home with Taehyung.At least, that’s what he told himself as intimate moments came along less and less often of late. Still, Jungkook couldn’t ignore his alpha’s longing for his omega, couldn’t resist that tickle in his gut, the excitement stirred by the prospect of discovering something—someone—extraordinary.According to Associated Talent’s Jo Beomgyu, tonight’s mission to Seoul’s newest hot spot, Seoul Nights, would be a slam-dunk. Beyond that, Jungkook’s boss had offered nothing about who, or what, Jungkook would be exploring.“I refuse to taint your perceptions with any of my own.” Beomgyu had said, seemingly euphoric about this whole fiasco. “Go. See for yourself. And report back in the morning.”A sharp ache gnawed at his heart as Jungkook navigated through the narrow descent to an underground parking area. Something didn’t feel right about all this. He should have stayed home with Taehyung.Leaving the car, he made his way into the office building that housed Seoul Nights, on the fifth floor. A swift elevator ride later, the doors parted to reveal a white marble lobby, a translucent podium decorated by a deep purple vase full of vibrant colored lilies and Fuschia.‘Nice,’ he thought. ‘Definitely upscale and luxurious.’He was ushered to a table near the window where wall-to-wall glass revealed a skyline bursting with lights and a carpet of added illumination that went on for miles.To his left was a large, raised dais presently curtained off by black velvet. In passing, he saw a face he recognized—Kim Yugyeom—the owner of the club. Yugyeom’s eyes went wide when he looked Jungkook’s way. Jungkook chuckled under his breath, sitting down.A waitress stepped up promptly. “Good evening, sir, and welcome to Seoul Nights. What can I get you?”She was young, a gorgeous blonde whom Jungkook took in, and dismissed, just as quickly, though he offered a kind smile. “Tonic and lime would be great, thank you...” He squinted his eyes, reading her name on the badge, “Umm Rosetta.”“Right away, Sir.” Her smile and attention lingered. Jungkook’s didn’t. Of far greater interest was Kim Yugyeom who worked his way to Jungkook’s table.“Mr. Jeon. So good to see you.” Yugyeom touched the arm of the waitress to get her attention. “Rose, his tab is on me.”Further impressed, the waitress gave Jungkook a second long look, which again he registered, but ignored. Her scent was screaming arousal and yet that fruity scent was giving Jungkook a headache.He averted his gaze, and his focus homed in on Yugyeom, when the owner sat down in the chair opposite, Jungkook leaned forward. “What am I in for?”Yugyeom’s smile took off like a fast ride. The man’s eyes flashed like a kid with a secret. “Seriously. Beomgyu didn’t cue you in?”Jungkook lifted a shoulder. “Mumbled something about new-age nonsense and not wanting to mess with my perceptions or some such ridiculous thing. So, tell me...what’s the deal?”Yugyeom sat back and kicked out his legs, flattening his hands against his stomach. He was a sharp man, hip and artful—with an eye for what would appeal to high-end customers. “Nope. I’m glad he didn’t tell you about him.”“Him? A male.”Yugyeom bit his lip, suppressing a smile, “Hmm...an extremely talented male omega.” he straightened and settled his forearms on the table. “Park Jimin.”Good lord. For whatever reason, Jungkook’s mind drew pictures of a platinum blonde with buxom curves and feline beauty. He sank on the inside. “I’m here to see an omega named Park Jimin?”“Yeah. Park Jimin. Listen, I’ve gotta see to some things right now but stick around after the upcoming set. It’s his last for the night. I’ll introduce you to him.”Before Yugyeom could dash off, Jungkook put out a restraining hand. “Hey, don’t cue him in. Don’t stack the deck or get him riled up that there’s an agent in the house. I’m here to observe. That’s all.”Yugyeom’s eyes flashed, and his posture radiated assurance. “Yeah? Let’s see if that’s all you have to say once you hear his voice.”The alpha’s stance was so definitive it took Jungkook aback. His interest level inched upward. ~~!!!!~~ The lights dimmed until all that remained was a centered limelight. The curtain across the stage glided open. Conversations and dish clatter faded as all the audience turned in unison, looking toward the stage, and waiting.A rhythmic, almost tropical drumbeat, accompanied by flowing bass, signaled the start of the upbeat song.The spotlight remained trained upon a man who put to rest every doubt Jungkook had felt upon hearing his name.A white flowy shirt paired with black pants over a lithe body that was graceful and fluid. The neckline of the shirt was rounded with a faux tie that was knotted in front and revealed a long, slender neck. A straight column of ash blonde hair surrounded his head like a halo.Jungkook was positioned close enough to see that his large, wide-set eyes were violet.Violet. When Jungkook began to sing, his voice was nothing short of smooth magic.From the opening notes, Jimin owned the room. He expressed the mood of the piece with pitch-perfect delivery. His passion and skill rolled off the stage, slipping around the tables, enveloping every listener in the room.Jungkook was stunned. Like the rest of the audience, he couldn’t look anywhere else. His voice became the only thing anyone could hear.It was second nature for Jungkook to size up people physically. Such was the nature of his business. Talent was the key thing, yes, but beyond that came the mysterious and elusive factors of the charisma and dynamic appeal that surrounded their world class artists.What was the package here?What would be the strengths and weaknesses?A flashpoint occurred, providing an immediate answer to those questions. Quite naturally, that answer was channeled into terms any agent in the entertainment industry would understand.If celebrity Kim Seokjin had sleek, ash blonde hair and violet-colored eyes, he’d look exactly like Park Jimin. Jimin had the same gorgeous skin and flawless bone structure. He had the same dazzling smile that could enamor his audience into a trance. And Jimin had an innocent sweetness in his eyes, a sweetness that would provoke fierce loyalty, delight, and mega-sales.The longer Jungkook listened, and watched, the more he stared. Captured. The corner of his mouth curved up. He felt pleasure just looking at the omega who was unaware that he was being judged. His presence coupled with the vocals he possessed, was an incredible intoxicant—because if this was how Jungkook felt, he was certain this was how the whole world would feel as well.He owed Beomgyu an apology for underestimation.After watching Jimin closely, Jungkook turned, looked around, and began to pay closer attention to the audience. They were enthralled. Jimin roped them in and fed their awed expectations. He drifted through the high and low notes after a heart-felt love song. The crowd, to a person, was completely behind him.The set ended way too soon, Jungkook thought.Not long after, Jimin entered the main room, accompanied by Yugyeom. Moving through the crowd, he accepted handshakes and smiles, a few air kisses, and delighted greetings while Yugyeom led the omega to the table where Jungkook sat.They were close enough now that Yugyeom’s guiding tone and directing head nod caused Jimin’s focus to zero in on Jungkook, and it stayed put.That’s when it hit the alpha—a lightning bolt of sugary sweetness and attraction to the other sex. A primitive response to an omega’s unadulterated freshness and a mesmeric manner.Park Jimin struck him not at all as an arrogant, entitled performer—this despite a world of talent. Jungkook didn’t even have time to consider his reaction before the omega stepped up, and looked at Yugyeom, then back at him.Jungkook stood, realizing his body’s reaction to the omega’s presence and he controlled his pheromones, yet his heart raced. His reaction stemmed from a mystifying call to court an omega in that primal fashion.Jimin’s presence in a room demanded softness yet dominance.Yugyeom stepped into their elongated, intense silence. “Jimin, I’d like you to meet—”“Jimin, honey!” Jungkook’s waitress stepped up and held her empty tray to the side so she could give the singer a tight hug. “Happy birthday baby! Been waiting all night to catch you so I could say hello! It’s a shame to be working on your big day!”Jimin brushed that comment aside with a graceful sweep of his hand. “No worries, Rosie. To me, this isn’t work. It’s a joy. Thanks for remembering sweetie and I’ll talk to you later, OK?”“You bet.”Jungkook watched. Oh, he couldn’t wait to work with this omega.Jimin turned back, wearing an expectant expression, waiting on Yugyeom, who started to chuckle as Jungkook’s lips spread into a wide smile. He didn’t let Yugyeom introduce him. Not quite yet. “So, it’s your birthday?”“Yes. Yes, it is. Umm…” Jimin stumbled verbally, obviously confused about what was going on, and why he was standing at this Alpha’s table.Jungkook reached into the breast pocket of his crisp suit coat and extracted a business card, making ready to hand it over while Yugyeom tried again. “Jimin dear, I think you’re in for a great surprise today. I want you to meet an old friend of mine.”Already Jimin extended his hand. Jungkook connected to him promptly as a spark left them both enthralled. Jimin’s eyes widened in shock as the Alpha took his hand in his own, not moving, not shaking, just holding on.Yugyeom performed the conclusion. “This is Jeon Jungkook. Jungkook, say hello to Park Jimin.”In an instance, Jimin’s beautiful smoky eyes went wide. He breathed deep and the sequins on his dress shirt shimmered in the light. “Jungkook as in Jeon Jungkook.”Because of his hold, Jungkook felt the omega sway but slightly.Yugyeom chuckled. “Pleasantries bestowed with; I’ll leave you to it.” Yugyeom pierced Jungkook with a look that screamed ‘I told you so.’Jimin, meanwhile, gave his boss a fast, almost desperate look. “Can’t you...please...join us?”Jungkook pulled out the chair next to his, to distract Jimin from Yugyeom’s exit. “I may have a tough reputation, Jimin, but contrary to my nature or the industry myth surrounding me, I don’t bite. And after your incredible performance, I’d rather like to talk to you privately.” Jungkook wanted the omega’s full attention, but he also wanted him to feel comfortable in his presence. The waitress—Rose he recalled—breezed past once again and Jungkook caught her eye. “Excuse me, Rose. Would it be possible to order something to drink?”“Of course. What can I get for you, sir?”“Another tonic and lime for me. Jimin?”The interlude, as intended, gave Jimin a few moments to regroup, but he was still dazed, completely unguarded, and unprepared for this meeting. “Umm…ice water please.”“Are you sure you don’t want anything else?” Jungkook resumed his seat.“Positive. I don’t want anything stronger when I feel like I’ve been thrown into the deepest depths of the Pacific.”Jungkook chuckled sensing the scent of his distress. He looked into Jimin’s eyes and leaned forward across the slight space that separated them. He was obviously charmed by his performing skills.It was a natural reaction, all in all.“You know who I am. I’m impressed.”“No, actually, I’m the one who’s impressed.” Jimin laced his fingers together and rested his hands on the table. “Anyone with a pulse in the music industry knows who you are. My nervous stumbling aside but I’m very pleased to meet you.”The comment stunned and delighted Jungkook. Full of undisguised awe, his simple reply stirred a second rush of attraction that wasn’t entirely welcome. Jungkook wrote off the response quickly, though. After all, any man within the vicinity of this omega would feel just the same.Well, Jungkook decided to play into the moment, knowing he could easily pull back. “Well—now that my ego is sufficiently fed” –they shared a hearty laugh— “Happy birthday, Jimin.” He extended his business card, the one he had held since the beginning when Yugyeom introduced him to the omega, and slid it across the top of the small, dark wood table. Their fingertips brushed innocently when Jimin took possession. He lifted the card and studied the elegant, raised black lettering, fingered the heavy white card stock.Jungkook noticed the subtle tremble that worked through the omega’s hand.“I’m almost afraid to ask what this means.” Jimin’s voice was a quiet murmur.“Then allow me to elaborate on what you already know.” Jungkook went all business and was dead serious. “What that card means is you’ve just been given the best birthday present of your life, Jimin. An opportunity.”Jimin blinked. Joy, Jungkook saw, became juxtaposed against terror.“Because?”“Because you’re talented, and because I believe you deserve a shot. I want to give that to you.”Laughter, conversations, glassware tinkering—the bar sounds surrounded them while Jimin openly searched his eyes for any malice. Jimin studied the alpha so deeply, and with such intensity that Jungkook could do nothing but embrace the silence and let him explore whatever he was searching in him.While Jimin studied him, Jungkook maintained a smooth professionalism he didn’t feel on the inside. His pulse climbed. So did a heady, intoxicating roll of heat inside him.The omega was exquisite.“You honestly came here to see me?”“I honestly did. And I’m not disappointed in a bit.”Their drinks arrived. Jimin tapped his fingers against the glass, looking down in a flustered way as he slid his hair behind his ear. A gesture all to known to Jungkook—almost every omega did that when they were nervous. But then he looked up and gave Jungkook a bright smile.Jungkook felt its weight and smiled himself. He mentally shook himself for being much affected by an omega.“Thank goodness for that much. I’m glad I didn’t know you were in the audience. I would have botched things up for sure.”Jungkook highly doubted that statement. “For just that reason, I operate below the radar until it’s time to make a move. Why unsettle the waters? On the recommendation of my boss, I wanted to see you perform without forewarning or extra preparation. I get a far more honest performance that way.”For the next couple of hours, they talked about everything. Jimin was from Busan and purebred omega—also belonged to a family of singers, so knew everything about it from the day he could speak. His preferences leaned toward country blended with a soulful style of jazz. Five years in Seoul had taken him through the doorways of a number of clubs that dotted the district; he had even played at The Soul Club.The Soul Club is where Kim Yugyeom had found him, but now a stylish, more high-end atmosphere called him, and he joined Seoul Nights—one that was much better suited to his elegant looks and musical style.Jimin warmed up quickly and offered his background details with increasing ease and comfort. Jungkook appreciated that the omega didn’t mind revealing himself because Jungkook sounded genuinely intrigued. His absolute attention ushered Jimin into revealing his background, and to be honest, Jungkook actually wanted to know what he was getting into by representing the omega.Jimin seemed to understand it all without prompting.Before he knew it, it was almost one o’clock in the morning, and the spell shattered.‘I’ll wait up for you.’ Jungkook remembered Taehyung telling him.Jungkook double-checked his watch while Taehyung’s promising smile, his sparkling eyes, swirled through his mind and prompted him home. “I have to leave now.”Jimin moved back with a nod and a chagrined expression. “I’m so sorry if I kept you.”“You did no such thing. I’ve enjoyed the time we spent talking.”“Me, too. I should have been home a while ago myself.”‘Who is waiting at home? Boyfriend? Husband?’ Jungkook wanted to ask but thought against it. He had no right whatsoever.They stood, and his attention darted to his ring finger. Empty. But that didn’t mean much. He’d find out more on that later. “Call my office and let’s set up a formal meeting. Meantime, my team will draw up an agreement for you to look over.”“I certainly will, and thank you again.”They walked toward the rear of the club. “Where’s your car?”“In the parking structure.”The idea of Jimin walking to his car all alone in a large, empty facility didn’t sit well with him. The noble thing to do was walk him to his car. “Let me walk you out.”Jimin tilted his head; Jungkook watched a dangling gold earring brush against his neck kissing the bare skin. He folded his arms against his midsection and his eyes sparkled. “Are you always so chivalrous, Jungkook?”Danger flags rose—vivid red and snapping in a stiff wind. Jungkook obeyed the signs and delivered a business-like nod that he tempered with a grin. “Let’s just call it looking out for my future investment.”Jimin’s smile only widened. “Let me grab my things. I’ll be right back.”Jungkook knew that smile of Jimin was going to haunt him.Big time. ~~!!!!~~ Jungkook arrived home in darkness and silence.‘I’ll wait up for you.’ Taehyung’s words echoed through his mind and guilt slid in.Entering from the garage, Jungkook walked quickly and quietly through the kitchen. The clock above the refrigerator read one forty-five. He had never meant to stay at Seoul Nights so long. When he’d left Taehyung, he’d fully intended to make good on his promise to return home promptly.He removed his suit coat and draped it over his arm. He tiptoed up the stairs to their bedroom, sliding off his tie, and loosening the top few buttons of his shirt. No shaft of light cut a line beneath the closed door.Of course, Taehyung would be asleep by now. Guilt performed its second dance when he eased open the door and crept inside.Tucked beneath the bed blankets, Taehyung slept. He didn’t need the milky, dim moonlight in order to see his face. He needed nothing but the memories in his heart to draw the image of his soft, beautiful features.What had gotten into him tonight with Jimin? He needed to figure that out—but not right now. Later, maybe.He needed to sort his thoughts about it—but the time for that would come later as well—when he was more focused and rested. For now, he wanted Taehyung. With all his heart.He moved silently to the side of the bed where his husband slept. He sat down carefully, fingering back the tumbled waves of his silky, blonde hair sweeping them off his face.He bent to drop a slow, lingering kiss on his cheek, willing Taehyung awake, longing for clear, sweet eyes of deep green to look at him. He snuggled gently against Taehyung’s neck, nuzzling him with soft kisses.“Hmm...” Taehyung responded by coming alert slowly, turning into the ready warmth Jungkook offered. “Hi,” he whispered in his sleepy, husky voice.“Hi.” Jungkook backed away just far enough to stroke his sleep-warmed cheeks with his fingertips and cup his face. Any other loose-flung thought or desire promptly evaporated.In Taehyung’s presence once more, he was struck anew by the precious connection he shared with the omega—the wonder of their love. “I’m so sorry Yeobo, I’m late.”Taehyung shifted beneath the blankets and feathered his fingertips through his raven hair. “Was it a successful night?”Jungkook fought the urge to squirm and battled back every image he held of Jimin. “Very. I think I’ve found a very gifted performer.”“I’m glad.” Taehyung stifled a yawn and stretched out a bit. “I tried to stay up, but sleep won...” he smiled his loving smile at Jungkook.A craving took over Jungkook all at once. He held his mate, drew him close, and they dissolved into one another, sharing a kiss deep and stirring. Loving Taehyung was as beautiful as a dream, and as easy as drawing breath.Taehyung turned toward the glow of the alarm clock, but Jungkook brushed his lips against his throat and kept him from facing the hour. He took a breath and came upon the last tantalizing traces of patchouli, a scent that would forever speak to him of Taehyung. “Don’t look. It’s crazy late. Do you have to be up early?”Taehyung pulled the alpha toward him and made a happy sound against his cheek as he loosened a few more of his shirt buttons. His fingertips skimmed against his chest. “Not that early.”Taehyung knew what the alpha liked, or where to touch--he knew Jungkook inside out. As his hands reached for the flyer, he knew Jungkook was hard and ready for him. Taehyung smiled into the kiss, "You are extra passionate today. The meeting really went well, I guess."Jungkook pulled his hands above the pillow as he made his way toward his soft belly, "No more talking. I just missed you."Jungkook sank into a mix of emotions—a pure, loving desire for his husband, then a longing that possessed two very distinct and potent layers. One belonged to his mate - Kim Taehyung; the other belonged to the echo of a lightning strike—to an omega named Park Jimin.As Jungkook eased home, he knew what he desired and where his love lay. It was in the arms of Taehyung. Tangled within himself, Jungkook knew just one thing to be true: Taehyung was the antidote. His mate was the true captivator of his heart, and Jungkook knew for sure he loved him deeply.Taehyung would keep him grounded. The sureness of their relationship would soothe away anything else.First thing in the morning, he would pray to Moon that he was thankful he found his one true love in the early years of his life and would thank him enough that his love would always be true. Tonight, however, all he wanted to do was pour his love over Taehyung like the blessing he was. ~~!!!!~~~!!!~~
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Dancing through misty, half-consciousness, Taehyung burrowed into the welcoming depth of his pillow. The space next to him was nothing more than empty indentations and cool cotton, so he pulled Jungkook’s pillow close and stretched beneath the bed blankets. His scent filled his nostrils.Taehyung perceived only bits and pieces of the world that slowly emerged—but all of it was familiar and comforting. There was Jungkook’s almost silent tread as he moved from the bathroom to the closet. Next came the swoosh and click of hangers as he dressed. Finally, the omega detected the crisp snap of metal coming together that signaled the end of his morning dressing routine when the Alpha placed his watch on his wrist.Seconds later, his fingertips roamed against Taehyung’s cheek, drawing back a string of his hair from it. The warmth of Jungkook’s presence and his calming scents filled the air for a moment.And when he leaned in to kiss his cheek, Taehyung registered subtle musk, a more intense version of the aroma wafted from him. Jungkook let the contact linger, and Taehyung smiled; his pulse quickened in response.“Bye, love,” he whispered. “Bye, Hase.” Taehyung turned to give him a hug, which he took in readily. A smile later, he was gone.Well—never really gone.Taehyung gave up on the dominion of sleep. Instead, he drifted for a few minutes on last night’s memories and a sensation of happiness so rich and full it left him wanting to dissolve into the all-over contentment of being thoroughly cherished and loved.He breathed out a sigh, his eyes fluttering close in bliss. ‘Don’t do it,’ he thought. ‘ Don’t you dare let yourself hope. Don’t even think about setting yourself up for yet another fall.’ The inner warning carried no weight. With hesitance, he tucked his hands beneath the blanket and flattened the palms of his hands gently upon his abdomen.Please, Moon? This time. Please? It had felt so beautiful to be in Jungkook’s arms last night. There were none of the monthly mechanics. No lovemaking is governed by calendars and bio-cycles. There had been nothing but love—pure blissful love and the two of them—together.For nearly two years he and Jungkook had been trying to conceive, but with no success. During the past year, Taehyung had willingly undergone a variety of tests. All of them had come back normal, with no alarming results. Relax, his doctor had advised kindly. Relax and don’t let your relationship with Jungkook become a ritual for creation. Love him and let him love you. Leave the rest to Goddess. That’s what Taehyung liked about Dr. Lee Jieun. She approached her practice from a perspective that was more about love and not about stressing about it, and she possessed a caring, warm demeanor. Nevertheless, his doctor’s advice, following empty month after empty month, became difficult wisdom to observe.A half year ago, Jungkook had undergone tests of his own. Once again, there was no evidence of an inability to procreate.
Let me give this to him, moon Goddess. Please allow us to have, and share, a family together. You’ve blessed us with so much—we want to share this love with pups of our own.
Taehyung rolled back the covers and kicked his legs over the edge of the bed. He sat up with a yawn and then padded through the bedroom to the bathroom. There, skylights poured golden morning sunshine into the spacious, modern room. As he regulated the water temperature for a shower, a sunbeam glanced against the simple, gold band on the third finger of his left hand. His wedding band was a perfect match to Jungkook’s. He had forsaken the sizeable diamond ring Jungkook wanted to give him upon their engagement almost nine years ago.
“Do you know what I want instead?” Taehyung had asked.
“Name it.”
His eagerness, his genuine willingness to see Taehyung happy was a gift beyond any price. “I’d rather save our money to invest in a big home, on a beautiful piece of land, with lots of rooms and space to grow into. I want to fill it up with a family of our own and friends. I want kids and scout meetings, and get-togethers; gatherings. I want a home full of traditions and love. I don’t want diamonds; I want you. I want our children and the life we can build together, with all the people we love.”
While the memories swirled, Taehyung slipped out of his nightdress and hung it on the back of the bathroom door. He stepped beneath the soothing spray of hot water, still remembering the way Jungkook had looked at him after the request—in awed amazement—as he took his hand in his, and kissed his fingertips with lingering, tantalizing strokes of his lips.
“Consider it done,” he had said. “And make sure we have ten pups—three boys and seven girls. And they should have my eyes...and...and your nose.” He tapped his nose playfully, “And those lips...” tracing a finger on his lower lip, he moved his hand a bit lower as Taehyung smiled, “And that beautiful smile, I couldn’t live without.”
His eyes found Taehyung’s again, and his hands stopped dead in track, “What happened?”
He held his wrist and pressed a kiss on his fingertips, “They should have your smile...the one I fell in love with.” Taehyung leaned in for a soft feathery kiss as he felt Jungkook smiling.
And Jungkook made good on his promise. Their home was a haven of stately grace, but not at all stuffy. This was a welcoming place, full of beauty, love, and comfort anyone craved for.Jungkook’s lone concession to giving him diamonds was a piece of jewelry Taehyung was now never without, a fine gold chain upon which rested a heart-shaped pendant embedded with a blue pearl, crafted especially for him. It had been the wedding gift Jungkook gave him.Now, if only the rest of their dreams could fall into place. Now, if only Taehyung didn’t feel like he was letting the Alpha down and leaving them both unfulfilled.
Maybe…maybe…maybe…
But Taehyung...he couldn’t give him a family...he sighed and looked up, “Please let this one wish of mine come true.” He joined his hands in prayer.He lathered and the water beat down. After he rinsed his hair, he rode his fingertips gingerly against his abdomen once again. His eyes stung, not from chemicals, but from a sharp, deep longing that pierced a spot in his soul that contained his deepest vulnerability: the need to share his love with Jungkook and their pup.
Please. This time?
As fast and potent as the plea dawned, however, Taehyung pushed it to the side. Out of necessity, the practice of rebuke and refusal became another ingrained part of his routine. There was no other choice for them but to soldier on as best they could and ignore the gentle, well-meaning barbs from friends and family members, the endless questions about when, and if, they don’t want to have children…‘Everything happens on time.’ The voice of Priest Hyungsik echoed through his soul.The words filled him, as strong and real as any that could be spoken aloud. Taehyung went still beneath the strong jet of water, listening, praying for even more from the powerful, compelling voice that slid through his soul—the voice he knew came straight from within his conscience.Taehyung had always been a firm believer in cosmic powers. He believed in the truth of life, and in ways that were specific to whatever was going on in his life—be they good or bad. The cosmic was always there—but Taehyung felt called to prayer in an even stronger way today. All at once, he longed for an intensive time in the Sawon.Taehyung didn’t have much on the agenda this morning, so he dried his hair. Grey trousers and a dark green turtleneck sweater completed a casual and comfortable ensemble. He trotted down the stairs, galvanized by the scent of freshly brewed coffee. The aroma provided yet another reminder of his husband’s thoughtfulness.Jungkook was always the first one out the door, so he always made sure a new pot was in place for them both.Taehyung stopped in the living hall before settling in for breakfast. He prepared himself a breakfast of maple and cinnamon oatmeal, some coffee, and a blueberry muffin. He added a small box of raisins to the oatmeal mix and then settled in to eat.But before he took a bite, Taehyung bowed his head in prayer. He prayed for the day to go by well.He felt a chill run down his spine as he shivered. Why was he having a foreboding feeling this morning?Why did the words resound like something ominous—a promise of shelter in a storm—rather than the assurance he sought?This had to be about his desire for children, right? The shiver of unease he felt stemmed from an understandable anxiety about the desire of his heart, that’s all. He and Jungkook had a relationship that was rarest of its type—they were Fated lovers, and they had a passion for one another that remained both predestined, and beautiful. Thus bolstered, Taehyung returned to breakfast and his morning prayers. ~~!!!~~ The night spent in Taehyung’s arms nearly eliminated Jungkook’s mind of the phantom of Park Jimin. This morning, he had come awake in typical fashion, spooned against his husband, his arm draped at a loose, comfortable angle against his thin waist. Jimin crossed his mind upon leaving the house, but only in a fleeting way that was business-centered and easily dismissed.Allowing for how late he had stayed out, Jungkook indulged in a couple of extra hours of sleep. Now, arriving for work, he felt content and reenergized. A perfumed cloud, of sorts, had lifted from his mind, restoring clarity. He thought of Taehyung, just the way he had left him, nearly dead to the world and nothing much more than a few curvy lumps beneath the blankets. His lips curved automatically.By mid-afternoon, he was immersed in work and realized he had only sparingly glanced at an incoming e-mail, so he switched over to the day's accumulation.His heart tripped when his sifting gaze came upon the address: JHPark @vlive.comThe subject line read:
Thank You.
He promptly clicked open the missive, instantly resenting the hunger that came along with its receipt. Only then did Jungkook realize: that he hadn’t followed through on his intention to pray this morning.
Dear Jungkook,
The simple words, thank you, are completely inadequate, but for now, they’re the best I seem to have.
Having admired you via reputation for quite a while now, meeting you at Seoul Nights was a pleasure enough; being given the chance to meet with you further, and discuss ways in which we might work together to ignite my career, is beyond expectation. Yes, I admit it; I woke up this morning wondering if I had stumbled into an alternate universe or some cruel trick of fates on my birthday.
I’ll call later today and set up our meeting, but before doing so, I wanted to pass along the addresses to my website and a couple of fan pages a friend of mine set up. Look them up when you get time.
There Jungkook stopped and frowned. Most people these days used social media to foster connections and pull in fans, but he hoped…really hoped…that he wouldn’t discover a bunch of salacious pictures or any kind of lewd content that would diminish the image he held of Jimin. Nothing much could top his rich innocence and that startling degree of charisma, if the omega played it smart. Eyeing the links below his signature line, he decided to avoid them until finishing his note.
I hope exploring my background will help you gain a bit more familiarity. Be well, and I look forward to seeing you again. The walk to my car, by the way, left me feeling special. And protected. 1 a.m., in an all but empty parking garage, can be pretty unsettling. I really appreciated the chivalrous gesture.
Regards
Jimin
Jungkook smiled when he reread the ending. Somehow, it perfectly captured the essence of Jimin. Guileless, charming, and warm.He clicked on the links, and when he caught sight of the visuals, he was glad he was sitting down. The sites weren’t at all salacious. Instead, they revealed someone who was serious about his goals and coming to the music field ready to play. Dozens of stunning performance shots along with a few casual pictures of Jimin with friends and fans recorded an energetic person in love with his talent and profession and a person who was aware of what he was doing and who definitely enjoyed fan interactions. Jungkook hesitated and then clicked on his profile picture to enlarge it. Sparking, violet eyes fairly leaped from the screen, the tilt of his head was already familiar to him as one of his unique mannerisms. The close-up accentuated the uniqueness in his eyes and his plump lips. Jungkook licked his own lips as his tongue poked out to wet them. His eyes were glued to the enlarged profile picture. Dressed in a white crocheted shirt, golden hoops dangling from his ear, and a golden pendant that rested on his chest, he faced the camera straight on, smiling. Jungkook stared. Ash-blonde hair hid his one eye while strands curled around his ear covering him like a halo. “So...what did you think? Amazing, isn’t he?” Beomgyu entered the office and Jungkook jerked violently, mousing in sloppy zigzags to extinguish the website as fast as he could. The last thing he wanted was to get caught crushing like an alpha on pheromone shots. Jungkook cleared his throat and stretched back in his seat. “Yep, he’s amazing. He’s got a lot to offer.”Beomgyu grinned. “We gonna land him first?” Jungkook steepled his fingers and studied his boss. “I’ve got legal working on an agreement in principle. He can have his attorney validate, and we’ll move forward from there.”“I can already tell you Jive Records is going to go crazy for him. Kim Namjoon—”“Will be my first go-to with a demo.” Jungkook went sardonic. “You holding my hand on this one, Beomgyu?”“He’s going to be a Blizzard, not just any ordinary Halyu wave. It’s incumbent upon me to keep tabs.”“I can tell. I’m just wondering why you feel it’s necessary.” Prickles of that protectiveness Jimin mentioned in his e-mail—a protectiveness that bordered on the territorial—went to work against Jungkook’s nerves, and mind. “I’m the one you wanted to land this performer—I’m the one you got.”“And I couldn’t be more pleased. Get it done, and good work!”Beomgyu left Jungkook’s office, and Jungkook stared into the now empty entryway of his suite; his brows pulled together.This whole inner turmoil about the Jimin thing was ridiculous. What was going on with his alpha right now?Straightening, he slid back up to his computer and clicked the reply toggle to the e-mail Jungkook had sent. He began to type, rapid-fire, knowing just what he wanted to say.
Hey Jimin,
Thanks for the e-mail and links. My calendar is pretty locked up this week, but next week works. That should give my legal department time to craft an agreement for you to review and execute. I’ll e-mail you the document as soon as it’s prepared.
Would you be available for a meeting next Thursday? I’ve got nine or eleven o’clock available. In the meantime, I already have ideas about where to start submitting your demo—we’ll discuss strategies when we meet.
Take care—and I’m looking forward to working with you.
Regards
Jeon Jungkook
Jungkook leaned back and propped an elbow on the armrest of his chair. He pursed his lips as he reread his response. With professionalism and precision, he had restored the upper hand, taken the lead, and dictated the terms of what would happen next—as any good managing agent should.That small measure of control also helped him establish equilibrium. A cooling-off period from the thrill of this chase would be good. In the days between now and his meeting with Park Jimin, he would be able to distance himself from the impact that omega had on him.He sighed heavily as he left the room and went to his desk.Jimin hadn’t done anything inappropriate or out of line. Neither had he. Somehow, though, this vibration of need was stirring him up and unsettling a foundation he trusted implicitly. His body hadn’t betrayed him, but his heart and his inner animalistic side were straying into territory that was absolutely forbidden—and signing Jimin as a client would bring them together on a continual and intense basis.He turned his laptop on and started working—he didn’t want any distractions. But those violet eyes were haunting him.After an hour of replying to emails and working on his other clients, he took a strained sigh. Jungkook shut his laptop and stretched forward, lifting the receiver. He shook his head, wondering if he had turned into the victim of some type of mystical conspiracy as his hands hovered at the office phone for a few seconds before he dialed a number. After a few rings, someone picked it up.“Jeon Jungkook.” !!~~~~!! The conspiracy theory gained traction in the days that followed because Jungkook’s carefully designed plans to establish distance from Jimin utterly backfired. The agreement was executed and returned by his attorney the very next day, so the process of propelling Jimin's career dominated a good part of his assignment, whether he saw the omega face-to-face or not.Additionally, the longer Jungkook waited to see him again, the pricklier he became. Images of Jimin, which came to life in a professional portfolio the Omega had sent to his attention overnight, bombarded him constantly.Plus, for purposes of crafting a client discovery document and mapping strategies to establish his presence in the music market, Jungkook followed his social media accounts and his fancafe activities and researched his past extensively. He found Jimin to be warmly engaging, and charming to those with whom he communicated. Realism rolled off him in waves. They conversed every couple of days over the phone or replied through e-mail. Each instance left Jungkook with a perturbing hunger; rooted deep in a foreign and increasingly powerful part of his soul.By the time Thursday morning rolled around, he couldn’t wait to see Jimin.When his assistant, Jenna, notified him of Jimin’s arrival, Jungkook worked hard to control his thoughts and alpha and leave the uneasiness behind, but something lingered, something he hadn’t yet found a way to deal with.That something was desire.“Hi, Jimin.” Jungkook stood from his desk and stepped forward when the omega entered his office, and his office and nostrils were filled with his unique scent of temptation.Jungkook stood from his chair and automatically offered Jimin his hand. Jimin’s footsteps slowed to a stop when he took in the high-end décor of his office with wide mesmerizing eyes and its gorgeous view of the city from floor to ceiling window. But then, he recovered and moved to accept the welcoming gesture. Jimin pulled his business persona into place with a degree of swiftness and poise Jungkook admired. He looked every bit professional, too, wearing a stylish and flattering silk suit of light blue. He had fashioned his hair into a sleek gelled version that drew Jungkook’s focus to his bare neck, and the pulse beat that danced there.That made him think , ‘So he’s not quite as cool and composed as he looks. That makes two of us.’ In fact, just like the moment Jungkook had met him at Seoul Nights, his world turned hazy and unstable.When their hands slid together, Jungkook received a jolt. Absorbing the chill of his fingertips prompted him to increase the subtle squeeze of his touch and offer him a compassionate look. “Jimin, your hands are like ice.”Jimin winced, despite the fact that his words were tempered by kindness and understanding. “Sorry. I’m not good at hiding nerves, I guess. I’m a little intimidated.”He tried to pull away from the iron grip, but Jungkook gave his hand a gentle rub. “Don’t be.” In emphasis, he kept their connection in place until their eyes met and held.Before the moment could stir a lasting awareness, Jungkook released his hand, and Jimin looked over his shoulder at the cityscape that was framed by his office windows. He took a step away, gesturing toward the expansive display. “Would you mind if I take a peek? I’m a sucker for a view.”“Go ahead.” Jungkook encouraged him to go on. Jimin crossed behind his desk and Jungkook joined him. It was a gorgeous spring day in Seoul. Cobalt skies stretched to the horizon. Sunlight sparkled off the metal and glass of the buildings that framed downtown. Beyond it all, traffic crawled along the Gangnum Parkway and Hangnam Bridge. An old-fashioned showboat inched its way along the blue-green waters of the Han River.Jungkook studied it all, considering the fact that he was generally so wrapped up in his work he didn’t take much time to savor the spectacular images that lay before him every day. What good was success, he found himself wondering, if none of its benefits seeped into his heart and fed his soul?Jimin’s eyes went wide; with a soft exclamation, he pointed toward a spot far below. His gesture indicated a simple, red brick building with white accents that was an unmistakable piece of country music history. “Look! You can see the Seoul Stadium from here!”The expression on his face, its mix of joy and excitement, spoke to Jungkook’s recognition of what was lacking in his life and slid against that empty spot he had just discovered.He laughed, enjoying Jimin’s energy. “I take it from the reverence in your tone you might like to perform there one day.”Jimin nudged his shoulder with his. “Geez. Do you think?” He shot him a sassy look. “Gocheok Skydome wouldn’t be bad, either. Think you might be able to swing that one for me, too?”His playful barb hit home and drew Jungkook in, so he backed off promptly, though a friendly grin stayed in place. “I’ll do my best.” Silence beat by. “So tell me something.” Jungkook ignored the view and leaned his back against the window, opting to watch Jimin instead. “What does the ‘H’ in your e-mail stand for?”“Oh, my goodness. You caught that? And remembered it too?”“Soon enough, you’ll be paying me to catch and remember details like that.” Jungkook liked the way Jimin maintained a visual hold on him. There were undercurrents of attraction from him, of an interest that dealt not in business terms, but in the wants of the heart. “I can’t wait.”Deliberately, Jungkook didn’t respond to that, but his gaze lingered like a caress.“It stands for Hyunsoo,” he answered. “That’s my father’s name. I love him so much.”Park Hyunsoo. Hmm...everything about the omega struck Jungkook like a perfectly timed, beautifully blended melody. His shy reply was accompanied by diverted eyes and a tint to his skin that brightened just slightly.Jungkook fought for the emotional center as he lifted away from the sill. “I love it. And now, it’s time for me to start earning my keep. Let’s get you started. Have a seat.”While Jimin complied, Jungkook sat down in his chair as well. “I received the signed agreement from your attorney, so I’ve set a few of the wheels in motion.” Jimin sat back, watching. “As we discussed, we need to start with a demo so we can shop for the labels I want to approach.”Jimin held up his hands. “Wow. Hang on a second. I mean, I’m thrilled by all of this, naturally, but things are moving pretty fast. Is that typical?”“When the talent is as strong as yours? Yes. Absolutely. Why wait around? You’re ready to hit the charts. You have a gift, Jimin. That gift will take you where you’re supposed to go. Have faith in that.”“I appreciate your strength of belief. It’s flattering.”Jungkook ignored his subtle spell of hero worship. He needed to stay level—objective. “Don’t be flattered. Just keep doing what you do. I know star power when I see it or you wouldn’t be here.” He gestured toward a beverage service tucked against the far wall of his office. “Can I get you some water or coffee? Maybe some orange juice?”“Juice would be great.” Jimin paused, looking up at him when he stood. “Thank you.”Jungkook felt the craziest urge to reach out and stroke his cheek. Or maybe slip that little string of hair that was bothering his eyes. Rather Jungkook stepped away before that sinful thought could possibly take hold. After crossing the room, he opened a wood paneled mini-fridge and retrieved two single-serve containers.“So. About the demo. I want to set up some studio time for you next week.” He twisted open the bottle tops, pouring juice into two glass tumblers. “You need to record some songs as soon as possible, because the sooner I can approach Kim Namjoon at Jive Records the better.” Jungkook returned to his desk and handed Jimin one of the glasses he carried.Jimin, he noticed, listened attentively.“Frank and Jive are at the top of my list because you’re a perfect fit for his label. He’s smart, and he’s a straight shooter. He’s got a fantastic company with a perfect blend of market power and production quality.”Jimin fingered his glass. His brows lifted. “I know who Kim Namjoon is—by reputation, anyway. It would be an honor to record for him.” Jungkook appreciated his smartness and practicality. Jimin was no one’s empty starlet. Once again, Jimin demonstrated solid knowledge of the music market, and a determination to succeed. “Yes, it would, but let’s not let him know that until after we settle the deal.”Jimin’s mouth came open. He blinked at the tease Jungkook was, and then his laughter bubbled up. “Wow. That’s some really great advice to keep in mind, coach.”Jungkook looked into his sparkling eyes as Jimin sipped his beverage and set it aside. The simple act of watching him take a drink worked on his senses. Once again, Jungkook pushed the reaction aside, but doing so became increasingly difficult. He straightened and forced himself to focus. “Let me know your schedule for late next week or early next.”“I’ll do that. What will I be singing?” Jimin leaned forward eagerly.“I have a producer I work with on demos. I’ll hook the two of you up.”“Sounds great. Bring it on!”His face glowed, and Jimin shook his head, genuinely dazzled, and, yes, Jungkook recognized the signs: he was enamored, too. Jungkook could only watch, awed in his own way. He fed off Jimin’s enthusiasm, this time ignoring the danger of falling, just a bit, for someone as charming and appealing as Park Jimin. !!~~~~!! “I think we’re as ready for tonight’s event as we’ll ever be. Let’s wind it down and plan on reconvening late next week for a debriefing so we can review the final totals from tonight’s charity gala at the clinic.”Eager to get home and indulge in a long, luxurious bath as well as some serious primp and polish time, Taehyung responded to Priest Hyungsik’s announcement like the twenty or so others who gathered around a conference table at a meeting room of KKOF Foundation, Sawon: he smiled his way then assembled his file folders, pen, and notepad into a neat stack to carry out to his car.Priest Hyungsik stilled their motions by continuing. “Before we scatter, though, I want to give some recognition to Jeon Taehyung who orchestrated not only tonight’s event but the development of this entire project.”Taehyung cringed. He tried to push away the round of applause that accompanied Priest Hyungsik’s kind words, but he wasn’t finished yet. “The Athena Free Clinic was Taehyung’s brainchild, and not only did he pour a substantial amount of funding into the project, but he also backed up financial assistance with effort—solid sweat and muscle. Taehyung, thank you for chairing the Board of Directors. God has worked through you and your team to turn Athena from a dream into a reality. Furthermore, a dilapidated building in downtown Seoul is now a haven of hope for the underprivileged omegas in need of both medical and emotional assistance.”A second round of applause circled the table, and Taehyung leaned forward, directing his attention to Priest Hyungsik. “Unfortunately, you don’t get off that easily. I expect to see you and everyone else at the clinic tonight, in black-tie and bling. Let’s have a great time and celebrate the fact that we’ve all worked together to make the facility come to life. I didn’t do this alone, so I refuse to take a big share of the credit, but I certainly appreciate everyone’s support.”He looked around taking in the faces of the people he had worked with so extensively during the past eight months. Surrounding him were community leaders and groups of KKOF who worked day and night to reach where they were now. Each of them was now his friend as well as his ally in the cause of providing health care to the underprivileged omegas. A dream was now a reality. Since a family wasn’t meant to be at the moment, Taehyung loved pouring all his energy—and his heart—into service projects like this. For now, until his own pup came along, he felt his calling in these efforts.When he stood, he felt a subtle tap against his shoulder. He turned and looked up into the teasing eyes of Min Yoongi. “You always so shy about accepting praise?”Taehyung snorted lightly. “Always.” “You shouldn’t be. Seriously, you've done a great job.”Taehyung was eager to get home but didn’t want to hurt Yoongi’s feelings with a quick brush-off. He smiled at the alpha, propping a hip against the table. “No, I just embrace the technique of effective conscripting.”“You sure didn’t let any grass grow under my feet once I talked to you about volunteer opportunities here at KKOF.”Taehyung laughed. “As soon as you joined, I knew I had to rope that giving spirit of yours and put it to work!”“Yeah—you’re kind of relentless and difficult to refuse.” Yoongi studied him for a moment, and the underlying hesitance, the questions in his eyes, left Taehyung puzzled. “I’m looking forward to finally meeting Jungkook tonight.”His body went tight. So that was it. Yoongi wondered about his husband, Jeon Jungkook. It made Taehyung a little sad that their paths hadn’t yet crossed. In fact, after the weekend service when the alpha first joined, Yoongi stayed very close to Taehyung’s side after community service. Over coffee and doughnuts, they had chatted and become acquainted, and as Taehyung clued him in on community activities, he noticed the way Yoongi’s eager warmth toned down when he caught sight of the wedding ring.Until that point, Yoongi had thought Taehyung was single.That misconception haunted Taehyung long afterward. Jungkook hadn’t been to services at KKOF for a while now, and his absence was noticed, in a number of ways.Taehyung checked his watch, wanting distance now. Evasion. “Speaking of which, I better get home and get prepped.”“Taehyung, can I speak to you for a second? It’s about a media request from the MNet affiliate. They’re going to want to interview you tonight, and I didn’t want you to be surprised by the request.”Priest Hyungsik’s interruption was opportune and gratefully received. Following a brief farewell to Yoongi, Taehyung gave his full attention to the Priest. Hyungsik didn’t speak right away. Instead, he watched Yoongi leave, and then he addressed Taehyung with a kind, knowing look. “I figured I’d intervene so you could wrap up and get going.”OK, that was a strange and unexpected comment.“Ah…well…umm...thanks…”“He’s well-meaning and kind. I just felt a call to step in.”And separate? What was going on here?“What? I’m not trustable?” Taehyung framed the question like a tease, but his blood ran thick.“You are, and I think Yoongi is trying to be, but with Jungkook not as much of a presence here lately, I feel a bit protective…”Though incomplete, the sentence convicted Taehyung thoroughly. An uncomfortable wobble in his stomach turned intense, an occurrence that overtook him more and more often these days. “I’m sorry about that.”His façade crumbled, and shame burst through its holding walls. Priest Hyungsik touched his arm. “Don’t apologize. Jungkook’s actions aren’t your responsibility.”Taehyung reared back, staring at him, now openly defensive. “You know, honestly, Jungkook isn’t…isn’t…” His shoulders sagged when defeat rode in. Taehyung simply couldn’t find the words he needed to illustrate the feelings in his heart, but it seemed to him like Jungkook was being judged, and he wanted to look out for his husband.“Jungkook is exactly what KKOF, and what this world needs the most.” Priest Hyungsik’s gentle eyes and calm voice took away the sting he felt. “He’s successful, charismatic, smart as can be, and he’s got a heart of gold. That’s why I’m surprised by his continued absence lately. He’s never been one to drift—and I’ve known him ever since you brought him here for the first time.” Priest Hyungsik shrugged. “I married you two, and have loved watching your relationship grow. He’s always stepped up and offered himself. He’s genuine and enthusiastic. I care about him a great deal. It’s impossible not to. Help him see that, Taehyung. Help bring him back home.”Taehyung bit his lips together, because his chin quivered, and his throat went tight against an onslaught of sadness. He had been an emotional basket case lately, worrying about maintaining the happiness of his marriage, trying almost desperately to hold his emotions while so many things in life conspired against him.Priest Hyungsik’s words rang with warning and loving care. The confrontation, of a sort, forced Taehyung to realize how adept he had become at acting. He put up a front these days, refusing to tarnish Jungkook, or himself, by alluding to any kind of problems, but problems grew, regardless. Jungkook has been too wrapped up in work lately. He was straying from the basics in a number of ways, but so was Taehyung.Taehyung had gotten into the habit of covering for Jungkook and burying his own needs in the work he did through KKOF. It was beneficial, sure, but it was also a form of deflection.Jungkook genuinely valued what precious little downtime he had from his job, so he had fallen into the pattern of forsaking these services in favor of relaxing quietly at home and attempting to build a peaceful stretch of time when he didn’t have obligations or concerns other than stilling himself and building up strength for the week ahead.But Taehyung knew, and Jungkook used to know, that the kind of strength he needed most came straight from time spent with each other, in the Sawon community like KKOF.How had Jungkook lost sight of that fact, and how had Taehyung allowed the situation to overtake them, unchecked? They were responsible for one another.A lack of divine presence and communication within their relationship was making the situation worse. Jungkook had grown increasingly remote during the past several weeks, his distance intensifying to the point that only recently had Taehyung realized the blissful, passionate interlude almost two months ago marked the last time they had made love. The Alpha was busy and distracted and wound up, so Taehyung gave him what seemed like some necessary space.Was he in the wrong for that?Priest Hyungsik wrapped his arm around Taehyung’s shoulder and ruffled his hair like the big brother he was, seeming to decide he had said, and done, enough. “Let’s go and get spiffed up. That’s going to take me hours, anyhow.”They shared a chuckle, but Taehyung’s heart was far from light. A corner needed to be turned. Maybe it could happen tonight when Jungkook reconnects with their Sawon friends and witnesses firsthand the results of his long hours of volunteering and service.Lifted by expectation, holding onto a fledgling hope that their marriage might return to normalcy, Taehyung strode from there and through the parking lot.“He’ll be there tonight,” he murmured to himself. “He wouldn’t miss it.” !!~~~~!!!!~~~~!!
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Jungkook drove south out of Seoul, on his way to Platinum Studios. Traffic willing, he’d be on time for a three o’clock meeting with Jimin and his assigned demo producer, Park Seojoon. Jimin and Seojoon had spent the early part of the day recording, and Jungkook was eager to hear the results. In addition, just this morning, he had come upon a song from an up-and-coming writer who just begged for Jimin’s vocals. The title of the song was ‘ Let Me Love, ’ and with Jimin on lead, Jungkook had the feeling it would be a hit.Right on time, Jungkook entered the studio. Immediately his attention came to rest on Jimin. The omega sat before the massive, impossibly complex, soundboard, but he kicked back comfortably in the padded, rolling chair he occupied, laughing with one of the technicians. He wore blue jeans, a white tank top, and an open Oxford shirt of blue that drew the focus to his amazing violet eyes.Jungkook clicked the delete button on that image and approached the producer, who sat to Jimin’s right. “Seojoon. What have we got?”Seojoon delivered a smug, satisfied grin. “Pure magic. You ready to listen?”“Absolutely.” Jungkook sat in a free mobile chair; he rolled into position on Jimin’s left. Jimin’s smile of greeting spiked a pleasing level of heat through his system. Their gazes remained connected a beat or two longer than was absolutely necessary…Jungkook withdrew a pad of paper from his computer case and flipped to a blank page. While technicians cued the just completed recording, he claimed a pen and clicked it to readiness, registering the way Jimin leaned forward just slightly.Watching him.His nearness to Jungkook worked as a potent distraction until the song began to play.Jungkook went still; he tuned out everything else, focusing on one of the modulator arms of the soundboard until his world zoomed in on nothing else except what he heard.His brows furrowed.
Oh, man. Wrong, wrong, wrong.
Seojoon was not going to be a happy camper this afternoon.In an operating procedure that felt as natural as it could be, he started to scribble notes—notes that would only make sense to him, until the song underwent an intensive and relentlessly unforgiving review.
Synthesized his voice in the opening? Really?
Pop rock instead of come-hither jazz. Why?
Cheap song. Way too easy and common.
Just another gorgeous face and no talent? No.
Compelling. Mysterious.
CH = Unobtainable.
Image = high-end draw…?
An alluring vibe needs to carry through the music…
The words poured forth. Jungkook kept listening; he paused now and again to absorb the song. He chewed on the end of his pen, still completely lost to his thoughts and the music, which turned into a wholesale disappointment.Awareness spread through his limbs in a flood when Jimin wheeled close.Jungkook realized, belatedly, that Jimin saw his somewhat provocative analysis.Jimin rubbed his hand on his face and tucked a loose strand behind his ear. The action that Jungkook added to the nervousness in the omega.Jimin leaned against him slightly in order to even better see what he had written. Jungkook didn’t particularly like the rise of need his total attention was giving him, nor the fact that the Alpha had been somewhat revealed in his infatuation, but he couldn’t refuse or stop the emotion it gave and the sensation either. An emptiness at his core left Jungkook to wonder: what was the harm in simple attraction?What was the harm in flirting and playing with the hot tingle of awareness and desire…?Jungkook straightened abruptly when that thought pattern moved through him, and lent a pounding swiftness, and heat, to his body.Into his mind echoed a one-word warning and rebuke: NO.He turned slightly from Jimin as the song wound down. By way of added emphasis, he covered his notes with the previous pages of his legal pad. This pheromonal rush was as threatening as it was intoxicating.He wanted to heed what he knew was his soul-depth denial. He wanted to stop this tempting vibration in its tracks.
Almost.
What would it feel like? Jimin’s infatuation, his openness…it tasted delicious in his thoughts.While he made the noble resolution of refusal, Jungkook glanced his way. Jimin, he found, just looked at him—and into him—his eyes wide and gorgeous. Resolutions wavered.Did Jimin read his provocative thoughts? Or did he sense the heat wafting from him in waves? Was his alpha calling to his omega?“Well?” Seojoon’s voice cut into the quiet that crested in at the close of the song. Jungkook closed his eyes and shook his head, returning to his job. His verdict wasn’t for Seojoon’s consumption. Not yet, anyway.Jungkook gave him a deliberately unreadable, noncommittal look. “Give me a few minutes with Jimin. I want to discuss it with him before we do an all-out review.”“Sounds good. I’ll be in the break room when you’re ready.”Once the door closed behind Seojoon, Jimin looked at Jungkook with an alarmed expression. Their unspoken interplay of sensuality evaporated. “Umm…you…you don’t seem real pleased. Wasn’t it…good?”Jungkook could tell Jimin was genuinely afraid he had let the alpha, and himself, down. The display of fear melted his will to remain apart from the omega.Jungkook leaned forward, propping his elbows on his knees. While Jimin watched and waited, Jungkook spoke. “Jimin, let me ask you something. Did that song speak to you?”“Speak to me?” Jimin drummed his fingertips against the armrest, tilting his head when he looked down at the floor. “It was fun, in a way—with spark and the upbeat funk that’s catchy. I thought it would be a quick success…”The hesitant response provided the roadmap Jungkook needed to make his point. “I don’t think this is the kind of music you’ve envisioned producing over the long term.”Jimin lifted a shoulder, wide-eyed. His spirit, Jungkook could tell, was thrown open to his guidance—and that fact continued to pull at him in a way that was magnetic and powerful.Jungkook went on, trying to approach everything about him through his capacity as his managing agent—and nothing more. “This has nothing to do with you, Jimin. That song would sell like crazy—because of you, but not because of the music. You have the power to propel both.”“Me?”“Yes, you. You’re that strong a talent, and presence.” The words settled between them. “That song, to me, diminished you as an artist. It was too techno-pop to play to who you really are”—and everything he had written down, and felt, as he listened—"You’re better than the cheap funk, Jimin. You’re more than commercial pandering and trends. You’re richly textured and evocative—that song is beneath you.” He could all but hear that alluring voice of the omega, backed up by a smoky saxophone or some lilting piano.Jimin took a deep, trembling breath, and stared into his eyes. Equally provoked, Jungkook diverted by consulting his notepad, only to realize once again that his analysis seemed more a poetic ode to the omega before him than a study of the musical talents he sustained.Embarrassed once more by being so vividly exposed, Jungkook began to flip pages to a blank section, but Jimin stopped him short by settling his hands against his shivering one.“Wait a minute. Please?” His quiet, earnest entreaty left Jungkook in a place where all he could do was watch after him and wait.Jimin looked down and lightly moistened his now dried lips. With careful deliberation, he paged back to the words Jungkook had written. The room suddenly went way too hot and suffocating with a new kind of scent. Jungkook felt tiny beads of sweat break out against his hairline and his chest…“You see so much in me…” His awed, sweet voice tickled against Jungkook’s inner ear. His throat went parched. Jimin’s hands slid against his, which remained in a tight clutch of the legal pad.“I’ve never had anyone look at me like I’m being seen”—he squirmed just a bit—“and the work I do—singing...like, you have. It’s…compelling.”“Jimin…” Jungkook spoke his name like a caution, the syllables rolling on his tongue for a second more like he could almost taste him on his tongue. Desperation curled through him, a desperation founded on the fact that he was happily married, a devout husband, yet utterly magnetized toward this sinful presence. And he had never, ever been looking to feel this way about anyone other than his mate. Undeterred, Jimin continued, his voice a soft caress of sound that touched Jungkook in ways he could not fathom. “No. Let me say this, Jungkook.” Jungkook paused for a beat staring at his face, searching for something–something he didn't know–what. “I know...I know that you’re married. I want no part in interfering with your personal life. It’s just that I love the way you’ve tuned in to me as a person and reshaped my thoughts. I respect you so much, and I want you to know that I also respect your judgment on the song and what you want to do for me. What do your plans for my future hold? Having you on my side is as exciting as it is thrilling, and I want to make you proud of me. I want to vindicate the things you’re seeing in me that no one ever did. If you lead, I’ll definitely follow. I have complete confidence and faith in everything I know you’re going to do for me.”In emphasis, Jimin tilted the pad his way and openly reviewed each and every comment Jungkook scribbled on the paper. Jimin took them in, and the softness of his eyes, the way Jimin lightly pressed his lower lip between his teeth made Jungkook’s stomach go tense and his breathing unsteady.“You guys through with your debrief?” Seojoon popped the question as he pushed through the studio door, arriving in their midst like a piercing blast of feedback.They were startled by the sudden appearance of a third presence, and Jungkook smoothed over his uncharacteristic reaction by standing quickly and going to his briefcase. From inside the front pocket, he extracted the CD of the song ‘ Let Me Love’. “We’re not crazy about it,” Jungkook said promptly, avoiding Jimin’s pink-tinted face. Jungkook focused, forcing the thoughts of the omega out of his mind as he keyed in on Seojoon and the job he needed to do as his managing agent. “Seojoon, we’re talking about a long term image we’re trying to create of him, and both Jimin and I believe this song isn’t a good fit for what we’re trying to build.”Before Seojoon’s wide eyes and furrowed brow could end in an argument, Jungkook lifted the CD. “I’d like you to give this a listen. It’s a little raw and lacks the kind of polish you’re going to give it in the studio, but the song is sensational. I think we can pull together an incredible orchestration and make this part of the demo we shop around.”Still, a bit ruffled, Seojoon frowned but did as Jungkook asked him to.The song worked, just as Jungkook hoped. By the end of the first chorus, all three of them were on board and enthused about what would come to be in the next few hours.When they concluded, Seojoon left, needing to join a session taking place elsewhere in the building. Jungkook packed away the CD of Jimin’s work, a CD he fully intended to deliver to Jive Records first thing in the morning. Alone with Jimin, Jungkook didn’t want to consider the length of time that would pass before he saw him again, so…an idea morphed into an undeniable course of action. ‘Jungkook, is it really the right thing to do?’ He shoved that idea in a box and locked it away.He braced against that piece of firm, but loving counsel. After all, the idea of sharing just an hour or two with Jimin in a more personal—but still very public—setting…
‘Don’t get too gratified by the idea of the desires of the flesh.’
No! He was making sure he was meeting the omega in a very public place. Once again, Jungkook pushed away the words. This wasn’t anything about flesh. All he wanted to do was ask him out to lunch. Nothing more. It’s not as if he was entering into anything other than an extension of…
Don’t convince yourself that it isn’t lust.
Jungkook steeled himself against the internal fight that was taking place between his alpha and his mind. He packed up, even going so far as to keep his back to the omega when he very casually asked, “Would you be interested in lunch sometime next week? It’d probably be a good idea for us to review the—" “—I’d love it.” Jimin hadn’t even let him finish the thought.Very slowly, Jungkook turned his head.Jimin stood across the room at a completely appropriate distance from him, but the connection between them ran hot, eager…and infinitely appealing. When his gaze fell upon the upturned lips, the bottomless seeking grey eyes of the omega, his heart raced a mile with an expectation that promptly drowned out every voice and the call of his soul. !!~~~~!! A half-hour later, he was on the road, headed home. Removed from the influence of Jimin’s presence, a sick sense of remorse washed through him. A thorough drenching of shame followed close behind.What was he thinking, dallying with an omega he had only known for a month or so—and the purity of his marital bliss—this way?Jungkook pounded a fist against the steering wheel of his car, wincing at the pain, and his own stupidity. Every sensory preceptor in his body went to work against him, calling to him the way Jimin had looked at him, the way he had playfully but thoroughly challenged him, about the static electricity snapping between them…then there was this lunch date. Lunch date only Jungkook had proposed.What the hell was he even thinking? ‘You weren’t.’ A voice deep inside echoed in his ear.Worlds away from the present moment, Jungkook unlocked the front door of his home and stepped into the foyer, eager to spend some time in peace and quiet with Taehyung and get a handle on the turmoil of the varied emotions going through him.Restful time in the company of his mate would set his world on its proper axis once more and restore his peace of mind—and heart.Then, he’d cancel the damned lunch with Jimin.Any other option left him sick inside. ‘I’m a better man than this. I’m a better husband than this. What’s happening to me?’ In-depth, he knew he was pulling toward the sins. He didn’t know why he was being so affected this time. He wanted this turmoil to cease.When Jungkook looked up, he nearly dropped the car keys, his phone, and the day’s stack of mail, right there on the shimmering white marble floor of the entryway.Before him, stood Taehyung, magnificent in a dress that hugged all his curves at the right places. The pink silk shirt under a black coat and matching pants made him look like a meal. The color added warm emphasis to the skin of his neck, and the discreet V-shape at the first open button drew his focus to the pendant he always wore—his signature piece.Humble though it was, it belonged to them both. It was his wedding present to the omega, after all, the reminder of which took the slow, sure tip of a pin strike to his heart. Jungkook closed his eyes for an instant but fought back the urge he had to coil in on himself.Taehyung’s hair was pulled back slightly with half of it trying to be free from the band that secured the rest in a lowbun. Yet he looked gorgeous with that messy bun, and the impact of his sparkling eyes left Jungkook breathless.Guilty, too.In an attempt at holy and emotional reconciliation, Jungkook realized nothing—and no one—not even Jimin—captured his heart and soul like his own husband and fated mate. He was being a gullible fool. Wreaking havoc in his calm and tranquil married life. He needed to straighten up promptly.Taehyung looked down, regarding his ensemble, right to the shoes, and he didn’t look confident; he seemed puzzled. “You’re staring. Is this OK for tonight?”
OK? Damn, his husband was a vision.
Was he becoming that unused to his pleasured approval? Jungkook licked his parched lips, falling in love with Taehyung all over again. No one he had ever met possessed such sweetness and unfettered light. That’s what had drawn him to his mate in the first place.They just didn’t submit to fate but fell in love with each second they spent with each other. Their marriage was more driven by the hearts and not by destiny. Though destiny played a major role, there was nothing—not a single cell of Taehyung, Jungkook didn’t love.His scent spiked with an unaltered bliss he and Taehyung both knew all too well because he saw redness creeping over his neck and his ears turned red as he blushed looking at Jungkook.“You’re absolutely breathtaking. Where are you headed? I was really looking forward to being with—”Taehyung gaped at him. “Where am I headed? Jungkook, are you being serious right now?” The mood between them took a sudden and heavy nosedive. “You’re barely home in time to change and get out the door.”Taehyung’s leading, expectant look didn’t help anyway.Jungkook was as blank as an empty canvas. So, he shrugged, openly confused while he awaited Taehyung’s explanation.Taehyung’s shoulders sagged. His eyes went cloudy with sadness and disappointment. His lips trembled just slightly when he turned away from him, toward the hall table, where he began to assemble and switch a few items from his everyday bag to an evening bag. “It’s the benefit opening of the Athena Free Clinic.”Jungkook remembered now, and he suddenly felt miserable for forgetting the most important event. Taehyung’s defeat and sorrow hit him far worse than his anger ever could have.Taehyung continued, “As the largest contributors to its creation, we’re expected at the gala.”The very last thing in the world Jungkook wanted to do was fraternize at a charity function, but they were obligated, and he couldn’t believe he had neglected to recall the conclusion of a project that had driven Taehyung for months now and meant so much to him.“Can you give me ten minutes to climb into my tux?” He infused the request with as much enthusiasm as he could appeal, but he was worn out—at every level—emotional and mental.The day had been typically long, and residual shockwaves from the ominous presence of Jimin’s existence still worked through the back of his mind. He was, at present, a tapped-out mess, sinking deeper and deeper into an extremely dangerous quagmire.Plus, Taehyung saw right through him. Yet he nodded his approval, giving him a quick, shallow smile before returning his focus to assembling his evening bag.Jungkook dashed up the stairs, intending to make amends by double-timing his way into black-tie clothing. !!~~~~!! Taehyung reapplied a glossing of lipstick, fighting the sting of tears. Jungkook’s cell phone began to vibrate and slide across the top of the hall table where he had dropped it next to his car keys.It was totally unusual his husband had forgotten about tonight’s event, and that took a piece straight out of Taehyung’s heart. He had been excited about the gala all week, looking forward to the success of seeing a project through to completion—a project that would benefit hundreds of thousands of displaced families and little pups in need of medical care.But, typical to a growing pattern, they hadn’t discussed the benefit recently—or anything else of importance. Taehyung was beginning to feel like he just didn’t matter anymore to his husband. His efforts to create something of value, something of his own that gave meaning to his existence felt insignificant somehow.The lack of enthusiasm in Jungkook was evident in his demeanor. He was more and more focused on his work these days, sometimes spending hours and hours burying his nose in his papers and laptop.Taehyung ignored the call alert, and Jungkook’s phone went quiet and dark. He sighed, looking at his reflection. He felt out of sorts and out of his element these days. He was tired and exhausted—sometimes too emotional.Burdened. The zesty expectation that had accompanied him throughout the day evaporated into a wisp of fast-vanishing mist.Jungkook’s phone vibrated once more. Concerned that someone might need to get in touch with him on an urgent basis, he picked up his phone and turned toward the stairwell, intending to deliver it to him. He was puzzled at the text that scrolled across the top of the lit-up home screen.
PHJM: The demo session today was like a dream! Sent: 7:21 pm
PHJM: Ty 4 being there. Sent: 7:21 pm
PHJM: Looking forward to lunch next week. Sent: 7:22 pm
PHJM: See you. Sent: 7:22 pm
Previous to that text was ID information on the missed call that had come in just moments ago. The person’s name, whom Jungkook had obviously included in his contact list, was PHJM.PHJM? Who was PHJM? Why would Jungkook save a contact as PHJM?Taehyung tried to think hard if he knew any of his contacts as PJM. Then a name struck him. PHJM? But Jungkook only mentioned meeting a Jimin. Is it Jimin.Taehyung’s stomach lurched violently then wobbled against a rush of strong, hot nausea. He rested a hand against his abdomen, willing himself to settle and go still. Nausea was hitting him more and more frequently of late. Further proof of how unsettled and sad he had become.Jungkook had been talking about this Jimin guy a lot lately. He was enthused by his level of talent and had eagerly signed him on as a client. So, the demo session is what had occupied his time this afternoon. And a lunch was coming up?Taehyung swallowed back a lump of emotion, wishing his heart would stop racing, wishing his imagination wouldn’t run away with him just because he was trapped by a feeling of inadequacy.Sure, they needed to work on their relationship again, but he refused to be a clingy pessimist and go off the deep end when his marriage to Jungkook had always been so strong and full of mutual caring.Jungkook’s world revolved around many such talented and beautiful people. Never had Taehyung been given a cause to doubt his husband.Why would working with this Jimin be any different?Taehyung closed his eyes, going dark against the answer that instantly came to his mind: because Jungkook’s different. Because you’re different. It was like he had told Priest Hyungsik this afternoon that Jungkook’s mood, his focus, had changed lately. Increasingly intense and withdrawn, he seemed overwhelmed, and that was completely out of character.Taehyung climbed the stairs and opened the door to their bedroom. Jungkook sat on a padded bench at the end of their bed, tying the laces of his dress shoes.Taehyung stood in the entryway for the briefest of moments, taking him in. He had never seen such a handsome alpha as his husband. Thick waves of raven hair framed an olive-skinned face with strong lines and a squared jaw, deep-set, compelling eyes of darkest brown capped by a smile that had always sent his heart into a free-fall of dizzy pleasure…Moving through the room, he joined his husband and handed off the phone. He drew in a deep breath, trying hard not to fall into suspicions and doubts. “Your phone is kind of going crazy at the moment. I thought someone might be trying to get a hold of you about something important.”“Thanks.” Jungkook looked at Taehyung smiling as he took the phone from his hand.Taehyung watched him review the call and the text.Jungkook didn’t react; he slipped the phone into the breast pocket of his tux jacket and stood, walking to the dresser where he hunted, presumably, for a pair of cufflinks.“I’m ready to leave whenever you are.”He kept his back to Taehyung. The lack of reaction, the too-smooth deflection, only served to tear additional holes in the curtain of his confidence and the resolution he had made to stay calm. Still, reaction or not, Taehyung knew Jungkook’s nuances well enough to recognize the intensity his scent carried, the tautness of his jaw, and the stiffness that shadowed his fluid movements.He tried to hide the fact that something was going on, but Taehyung wasn’t fooled. And that something, he feared, was not going to be good.For either one of them. !!~~~~!!
The Athena clinic was located in one of the older buildings of central Seoul. As he drove up, Jungkook took note of the large wooden sign, oval in shape, fastened to the front of the red brick exterior. He stopped the car at a double-door entrance thrown open to admit the evening guests.
After leaving their car in the care of a valet, he escorted Taehyung inside. In an automatic gesture, Jungkook snaked a guiding hand against the small of his back while he took in the results of his husband’s hard work.
The interior was beautifully appointed—fresh and newly refurbished. Recessed ceiling lights shone down upon a hand-painted mural of rolling green hills, wildflowers, and trees that covered the top portion of the walls.
Patient seating was complemented by end tables full of magazines and topped by thick, leafy green plants. A small tropical-style aquarium and child-sized tables with plastic crates of toys nearby polished off the décor.
Directly opposite the entrance was a reception area backed by rows of metal shelving for patient files.
Jungkook was beyond impressed. Taehyung had been instrumental in bringing this project from concept to fruition, and the end result was amazing. He watched his husband, his regard unnoticed as Taehyung accepted a few ready greetings and hugs.
His focus didn’t stray from Jungkook for long though. Excited and eager, he led the way through the waiting room. “Come inside and see the rest!”
Sliding carefully past the close press of wait staff and visitors, Jungkook followed his lead. They walked through a doorway that led to the second half of the clinic. Here, examination rooms and offices formed a circumference.
“There’s Priest Hyungsik and Yoongi.” Taehyung tilted his head to indicate a small group of people who mixed together not far away. When they stepped up, Taehyung initiated a prompt introduction. “Jungkook, I’d like you to meet Min Yoongi. Yoongi-nim, this is my husband, Jeon Jungkook.”
“Yoongi-ssi, it’s so good to meet you.” They exchanged cordial nods and a handshake.
Taehyung slipped his arm through Jungkook’s, and his fingertips weaved through him; fitting perfectly in the cervix of his fingers. “In addition to being part of the clinic team, Yoongi-nim is our newest patron at KKOF and the newest member of our weekly Community group.”
“I’ve been hoping we’d get to meet, Jungkook,” Yoongi said. “I have to compliment Taehyung. He’s incredible, and he’s done a fantastic job getting this clinic off the ground.”
Yoongi’s comment served to remind Jungkook of how long it had been since he had gone to these meetings with Taehyung and cued him in further that he was missing so much from Taehyung’s life—something important—important enough that its roots had grown far and deep despite his recent neglect and failure to do the same with his contribution.
He clenched his teeth recognizing how he neglected his husband for a whole month.
And the recognition was disturbing.
“Yoongi-nim found out what I was doing and volunteered his services.” Taehyung gave Yoongi a grateful look. “We’re very lucky to have him as a help.”
Yoongi shook his head and arched a brow. “I’ve said it before, but I guess it needs repeating. You missed your own praise, Taehyung. You’re an exceptionally gifted person. I was contributing before I even knew what hit."
Taehyung slipped a stray curl of hair behind his ear. A gesture when he was flustered didn’t slip Jungkook’s notice.
Taehyung ducked his head and blushed. “Sure, sure, sure. You recognized a need and you’re helping. I appreciate it, and so will the families who come here for medical care.”
“What is it you’ll be doing, Yoongi-ssi?” Jungkook regarded the man.
Same age group as himself and Taehyung. Maybe a year older but same nonetheless. Small in demeanor but taller in confidence. Yoongi was an alpha who demanded attention. He possessed an appealing, bookish vibe. Steadiness. Mint hair and blue eyes.
Maybe it was his own guilty conscience that did the prodding, but Jungkook found himself looking at Yoongi’s ring finger. It was empty. That caused Jungkook to frown, given the easy, comfortable way Yoongi related to Taehyung.
“I’m a psychologist. My work here will consist mostly of counseling teenagers in crisis. I specialized in Omegan Psychology. It’s my specialty.” He glanced at Taehyung. “You don’t have anything to drink yet, Tae. Can I get you something?”
“I’ve got that covered,” Jungkook cut in smoothly. “We just arrived, and I wanted the tour first, so we ignored everything else.”
Yoongi stepped back, and tension eased from Jungkook’s shoulders. Mission accomplished.
“Taehyung, I’ll be right back.” Jungkook excused himself to retrieve something to drink.
At the bar, he retrieved two flutes of champagne and then rejoined his husband, handing him one of the crystal glasses. Taehyung moved away from the people closest to him and turned toward Jungkook, cutting them off from the group so he could speak to him exclusively.
His eyes sparkled more beautifully than the golden liquid that burst with life. “No tonic and lime tonight?”
“Absolutely not.”
Yoongi had moved on, thankfully, and Jungkook used the private moment to stroke a fingertip slowly down his jawline. “This is a celebration. Your celebration.”
Jungkook could have sworn Taehyung lit up, from the inside out. He tapped his flute against Taehyung’s, and they prepared to sip.
Unexpectedly, Taehyung tilted his glass away; a teasing glint enlivened his eyes. “You realize, of course, that you’ve trusted me to handle a glass of champagne.”
Jungkook widened his eyes in a display of mock horror. “Oh my! What was I thinking?”
Taehyung chuckled, and the sound played like a song through his heart. He regarded him tenderly. “Champagne changed my life, you know.”
This time Taehyung’s eyes went wide; he gasped playfully. “Really? What a coincidence. It changed mine, too.” They shared a private smile, and Taehyung winked at him. “Thank you, by the way.”
“For what?” Jungkook looked around. “This is all you, my love, and I’m incredibly proud.” He shifted slightly, wanting to alleviate the discomfort he felt for letting him down. “I’m sorry about what happened earlier.”
Taehyung nestled close. His expression went soft, and full of forgiveness. “That’s okay. I know you’ve been busy, and you were tired. But I also want you to know I couldn’t have done any of this without you, and your support.” He kissed his cheek, then looked deep into his eyes, whispering, “You’re the most impossibly handsome and charming alpha. I’m one hell of a lucky man on this earth.” He glanced back at Yoongi. “And…he means well, you know.”
Jungkook didn’t bother stifling a smirk as he stared at his husband. “Obviously.”
Taehyung rested his hand on his arm and gave a light laugh. “I like that even after eight years of marriage you still get jealous.”
Over the top of Taehyung’s shoulder, he looked at Yoongi’s way. The alpha was deep in conversation with a few members of KKOF—Priest Hyungsik included. “I’m not worried. For example, he doesn’t know how much you prefer Taehyung to Tae.”
“True. And you’ve never called me Tae. Even at the beginning.”
“I never will, either.”
Taehyung watched him, waiting to see where that statement might lead.
“Your name is poetry. I’ll never shorten it. I love it too much as is.” Desire rippled through the air and encircled Jungkook, moving straight from Taehyung’s soul into his.
“I’ve missed you so much lately.” Taehyung whispered slowly.
The words escaped in a quiet rush, giving voice to the ache Jungkook smelled within his husband. It had been way too long since they’d made love. A need for connection, for intimacy, swirled around them, but Jungkook was finding it difficult to handle physicality with Taehyung right now.
His heart was leading him to a place where he felt unworthy of sharing his body and spirit in such a sacred way.
“I’m sorry for that, too, Taehyung.” Jungkook wanted to elaborate, knew he needed to elaborate, but the words just wouldn’t come. Tonight, he would find a way. Tonight he would revere him and touch him the way he always had, in the way that had always come to him so naturally.
Perhaps Taehyung sensed his confusion. When Jungkook didn’t continue right away, his brightness of demeanor went a little dim, but he kept on smiling and kept on trying.
Mentally, Jungkook scrabbled for purchase—and failed.
Taehyung ended the moment by tucking his arm smoothly through Jungkook, directing them toward a group not far away, cutting the unease that surrounded them like grey clouds. “Let’s do a lap of the room, shall we?”
!!~~~~!!!!~~~~!!
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
As the party progressed, Jungkook and Taehyung mixed and mingled—sometimes side-by-side, sometimes making their way into separate groups. In those moments, Jungkook found he couldn’t keep his eyes off the omega that was his husband.Taehyung’s energy and passion for the project transformed into a radiance that not only drew people to him; but filled the room with his passion. He possessed a star power all on his own, and that recognition claimed Jungkook’s epicenter, feeding a fresh and unexpected sense of wonder about his mate.Jungkook made ready to rejoin him, but first, he wanted to grab a glass of ice water. The clinic was crowded now, packed with VIP guests, and the heat level inched upward. Had he been too disconnected from Taehyung to realize the seamless way he had pulled this entire venture together?The busyness of his life, a level of busyness Jungkook had come to resent of late, made a lot more sense to him now. The recognition didn’t make the distance any easier to reconcile, but he looked at his husband’s world through a revised and very vivid frame of reference. While he waited for his beverage, Jungkook turned to watch him lean close and whisper to a nearby guest, then others approached and he performed introductions, touching an arm or two in a natural show of affection.The evening dress he wore shimmered, making him look extra radiant, capturing the dim overhead lights and giving him an angelic glow. How was he glowing? And why didn’t Jungkook notice it earlier? His silken hair danced around his eyes. Swept into his observations, Jungkook watched him chat with members of Athena, answer some questions, and accept comments from guests who happened by. He tucked a wave of hair behind his ear as he leaned in to listen to a party attendee amidst the noise level of a full-throttle party.“He’s remarkable, isn’t he?” Reluctantly, Jungkook turned away from watching Taehyung when Priest Hyungsik stepped up and offered the compliment. “Furthermore, I like it when an alpha watches his mate with such open adoration.” “I’m amazed by what he’s accomplished. This has been a great night. Congratulations.”Priest Hyungsik placed a drink order; he started to chuckle while his gaze traveled to the spot across the room where Taehyung stood, now bathed in television lights.Microphone at the ready, a reporter seemed to be asking him questions. “Look how natural he is with the media. Wish I could say the same. I just finished an interview for The MBC and can state without question that I’m not cut out for the spotlight. Too nerve-wracking.”Jungkook laughed in sympathy, but then he noticed something that caused him to go utterly still. Taehyung gestured for Yoongi to join him. The Alpha stepped up to Taehyung’s side, and it looked like he began to answer some questions for the television crew as well. Once the interview concluded, the news team faded into the crowd. Taehyung and Yoongi exchanged a long look, then burst into laughter, high-fiving. Taehyung’s laughter carried to Jungkook, unmistakable to him despite the mix of a hundred other conversations and background party noise.When the pair shared a short, tight side hug that didn't last for a second, Taehyung’s flushed cheeks and bright smile spoke eloquently of someone who thoroughly enjoyed himself when in his element. The way Yoongi’s hand lingered a little longer on the small of Taehyung’s back didn't go unnoticed by Jungkook either.“Jungkook? Are you OK?”Jungkook snapped alert, remembering he wasn’t alone. He’d been caught gaping, and since he had to force his emotions to control, he was pretty sure he had also been caught frowning at the vignette. If anything to go by, the rest was his foul scent giving him away.He couldn’t reply.Instead, thoughts of Jimin crowded in. Images of him moved through his mind and murdered his conscience. Emotional turmoil refused to let him rest and find enough peace to establish balance. His heart, his mate, and the omega he couldn’t seem to shake combined against him, and Jungkook didn’t know how to escape the chaos inside.Priest Hyungsik had known him for nearly a decade. The man had counseled them about the sanctity of the mate bond before their mating ceremony and remained a trusted advisor and friend, so Jungkook braved it up enough to come a little bit clean. “I’ve been thinking about how many Community services I’ve missed lately.”The statement wasn’t meant to placate, either. The evening shocked Jungkook into realizing how much goodness he had missed, or simply ignored, during the past month. No wonder his heart was in such turmoil. He was slipping away from love and faith in their sacred bond. Watching Taehyung provided another solid wake-up call to the distance his physical and emotional absence had caused between them. Taehyung had continued to bloom within the love of the KKOF family. The result was pure radiance.Meanwhile, what had straying away from stipulations done to him?Priest Hyungsik followed the path of Jungkook’s gaze. He stepped into the breach caused by Jungkook’s silence with a nudge and an intent look. “Yoongi is new, and he’s eager. He’s been tireless in his efforts to get this clinic going and become part of KKOF. Taehyung’s only focus is you, though. Always has been.” The words sunk in. “I’m sure he misses you being with him here, too, Jungkook.” Another pause fell between them. Jungkook could almost feel Priest Hyungsik testing the waters. “You’ve always been one of the guys I rely on to help motivate and energize our community. You’ve always participated, and I’m grateful for that. You have the gift of sincerity and magnetism, and those are tools we can put to great use. I’ve missed seeing you at KKOF, too. The men’s fellowship group hasn’t been the same without you lately. You’re important.” Used to be, Jungkook felt like saying. Priest Hyungsik, if you could see the inner workings of my heart, you’d be shocked and horrified. I used to react so self-righteous when I read stories of the sins that transgressed and people who stepped into what they knew were bad decisions. Look at me now. Why am I finding it so difficult to censure what I know is wrong? Priest Hyungsik didn’t condemn. He didn’t need to. The kind, gentle reminders accomplished the objective of prompting Jungkook back home, to his love for his mate.And his marriage. A chilly bead of condensation skated down the side of Jungkook’s glass, then his fingertips. Genuinely contrite, he nodded, staring at the glistening lines of moisture instead of Priest Hyungsik. “I’m sorry for that absence. I’ll be there this weekend. I’m looking forward to it.”He meant it, too. The conversation with Priest Hyungsik ended when Taehyung approached, still aglow in the success of the evening. His gaze touched Jungkook with an intimacy and depth of feeling that worked supernatural warmth through his soul. Priest Hyungsik moved on as Jungkook took hold of Taehyung’s hand and placed a chaste kiss on his lips.“Yoongi saved me from making a total fool of myself,” Taehyung exclaimed. “The reporters started asking about psychological studies and therapy programs being offered. I had no idea what to say! God, I was terrified!”“I was watching. You seemed smooth like butter.” Jungkook fingered back a few tumbled locks of hair from where they swung back again to his cheeks. Longing drenched his eyes in a visual so acute that Jungkook was left speechless.“I love being together like this,” Taehyung whispered.Jungkook regarded him intently for a moment. “Me, too.”Taehyung nodded and settled his hand gently against his cheek. “Let’s make an effort to keep connected like this, okay?”Jungkook took a breath, nodding, praying they could. “That’s what I want, too. It’s important.”“It’s just…” Taehyung fingered the slender strap of his sling bag, where it hung on his shoulder. Jungkook could tell Taehyung fought to find the right words. “We’re so blessed, Jungkook.”Jungkook struggled for a moment as well but found a smile. When it dawned, he hoped it would slide straight into his heart. Taehyung deserved that—and so much more. “You honor me, and us, every day, Taehyung." Taehyung wrapped his arms around Jungkook to feather a light, easy kiss against his lips. “I’m so glad you’re mine. Only mine.”Jungkook shoved back the stomach-sinking double standard in which he was tangled. He never ever wanted to hurt Taehyung. Taehyung was precious, and he loved him deeply. Furthermore, the commitment they shared to one another was absolute. Until now.The words infiltrated, a pair of creeping villains that left Jungkook angry about where his life and his heart were headed. All along, Jungkook had figured he could work with Jimin in a professional setting and walk away from him each day. He had grossly underestimated the impact the omega had on his peaceful life. !!~~~~!! “Tell them to take the offer up by two or it’s a no-go.” The next day, Jungkook wandered the length of his office, earpiece in place as he conducted—and hopefully concluded—a sticky bit of vehement negotiating on the phone call.
“Jungkook, you’re a shark. There’s no way INet Records can agree to that. Jung Hoseok is good, but—”
Jungkook shrugged. “Then I’ll let Hoseok know. KBS Group loves the deal. They want him.”He let that bit of coaxing information dangle.Jungkook stuffed his hands into the pockets of his crisply pressed black slacks. He looked out the window behind his desk. Far below, life swarmed in the form of people in motion, traffic inching along. In the distance, he spied birds in flight, and tiny cotton-ball clouds that sailed across the sky. He caught sight of the Skydome. The music icon called to mind Jimin and his delighted reaction at seeing it from this perch high above.Jungkook stopped a wistful smile in its tracks. The phone silence lengthened, but Jungkook was in no hurry for the decision he already knew was coming. He was as sure of it as his next heartbeat.
“Two percent additional and we proceed to a five-year contract?”
Jungkook’s smile spread slowly. That translated to roughly an extra six million dollars to his client. Not a bad day’s work. “Two and you’ll have a messengered contract before the close of business. Let’s get Hoseok producing, touring, and recording again. We want this buttoned down as much as you do.” “Yeah. For a price.” Jungkook heard computer key clicks in the background and could only imagine that Kim Hyejin, who represented INet Records, was already tapping out a notice to the label’s top brass to inform them Jung Hoseok was staying put.Jungkook knew better than anyone that keeping their current triple-platinum contemporary rock artist on the label’s roster was of vital importance. Then came the final answer. “Mail the contract.” “Done, Hyejin.” Jungkook paused. “You won’t regret this. That’s why you’re doing it. You’ve made a good investment.”A sigh traveled the length of their connection, then a wry, grudging chuckle. “ We better not. He’s got to keep performing.” “Agreed, and absolutely.”The call ended and Jungkook removed the earpiece, stretching his arms above his head. His suit coat was off, draped against the back of his chair. His white cotton shirt and gold patterned tie completed the ensemble with the necessary polish. After all, in the entertainment industry, image was everything.The Jung contract had been simmering back and forth for over a month. Now, Hoseok could stay at INet Records, which is what he wanted to begin with. INet was where his career had been born. Now he’d receive a reward for his loyalty and success.Yep. Not a bad morning at all.Still, Hyejin was wrong about one thing. Today’s deal wasn’t about price tags and dollar signs. Not completely. Sure, he fed off the excitement of the chase to land great talent, but it also tasted great to emerge on the winning side of tough negotiations. He took care of his clients because they took care of him.Perhaps that was another part of what had him mixed up about Jimin. Did his feelings have something to do with a protective instinct he couldn’t seem to resist?The thought circled him around to what needed to be done in that regard. He expelled a hard breath—leaned forward and eyed his phone. There was no sense putting it off. He needed to call Jimin and cancel their lunch date—appointment…he amended internally. Jungkook reached for the receiver; he shook his head. Standing, he reinserted his earpiece, already knowing he’d need to pace off excess energy during the course of this call. Why did the idea of hearing his smooth voice have his heart hammering in his chest?Jungkook started to dial. Cancelling on him would be easy enough—he could call on any number of worthwhile, legitimate excuses... The office intercom buzzed, jarring him, and leaving him to growl under his breath. Next came the voice of his assistant. “Jungkook?”“Hey, Jenna. What’s up?” Jungkook remained standing, fisting his hands on his hips. With care, he schooled his voice to smooth courtesy.“I’ve got Kim Namjoon on hold, and he said it’s urgent that he speaks to you. He called just as you hung up with INet.”Jungkook’s heart started pounding all over again, for an entirely different reason. “Transfer him in, Jenna. Thanks.” He picked up on the first ring. “Namjoon. How are you?”“This one is going to cost me as it is, Jeon. I already know that—but so help me, if you put me in the middle of a bidding war to land this boy for my label, I swear…”Succinct to the point of being abrupt, without any form of preamble, Kim Namjoon performed a tirade that was half-serious, half-humorous. The president of Jive Labels had clearly heard the demo Jungkook sent him. He looked at his watch and did some quick calculations. Overnight shipping would have delivered the CD by eight o’clock in the morning. Not even an hour and a half later, the man had already listened to Let Me Love.Better yet? He was openly hooked.Jungkook walked the space behind his desk. “I take it you’re interested in meeting him.”Kim Namjoon’s chuckle was laced with a sardonic undercurrent. “Don’t gloat. It’s beneath you.”“I’m not gloating. I’m simply asking if you’re interested in—”“Monday, four o’clock. Who’s my competition for this boy?”“Namjoon, c’mon now. Do you really think I’d tell you that?" On the inside, expectations caught fire and spread with wild abandon.‘You don’t have competition, Namjoon,' Jungkook thought. 'Your record label is exactly where he belongs—it’s a perfect fit .’ But he played it cool.“I need to check schedules. Let me call you right back.” “Don’t keep me waiting, Jeon, because I’m about to bet the farm you already knew I’d be calling the minute I heard his voice—and the song is fantastic. Posturing aside, he’s a phenomenal talent. And extremely eye-catching. You know what I mean.” “Yeah, yeah. Give me an hour to confirm the meeting.” Jungkook knew Namjoon didn’t mean anything bad by the innuendo, and he felt his stomach getting queasy.“Done.”When he disconnected the call and removed his earpiece, Jungkook let out a short, satisfied sigh. He laughed and clapped his hands together to punctuate the moment. All of a sudden, he was grateful he hadn’t cancelled lunch with Jimin. He couldn’t wait to tell him the fantastic news. !!~~~~!! “Hey, Jimin.” Jungkook joined him at the restaurant table, where he sat perusing a menu. Inadvertently, he bent to kiss his cheek before even thinking about it. And froze for half a heartbeat afterwards but refused to allow himself to second-guess a simple, innocent gesture of welcome and affection. He moved past the moment quickly, though the satin of his skin lingered in his mind.“Hey, Jungkook. How are you?”‘Bursting to tell you what just happened, ’ he thought, but he wanted to draw out the anticipation…just for a few minutes.“I’m running behind. Sorry if I kept you waiting.” “Don’t even think about it. I wasn’t here that long.” Jimin was breezy and friendly—on the surface. In his gaze, Jungkook detected an unmistakable degree of deeper pleasure.Jimin unfolded a menu and watched while Jungkook claimed the seat across from him. Jimin propped his forearms against the table and leaned toward him. “I have to admit, I was people watching.”“People watching?” Jungkook could hardly contain himself about the phone call, but he opened his menu as well and reviewed the selections. “What caught your eye?”“Before you came in?”Jungkook’s head jerked up, and Jimin’s lips curved in a teasing way. Teasing or not, Jungkook was struck so hard by the words he almost forgot about Kim Namjoon. And the news he was about to deliver.“Do you see that older couple over there?” Jimin continued, his tone quiet and conspiratorial. He glanced toward a table not far away from their window seat at The Kingston Restaurant. “He just handed his wife a rose and a present. I think it’s their anniversary, or her birthday or something. He kissed her hand, and she blushed.”Jimin shook his head, returning his focus to the menu. “That long together, and she blushed. I want someone who still treats me like his whole world and still makes me blush when I’m in my old and worn out. And even with those wrinkles, he bend down and kiss me like he couldn’t keep himself away from me.”Unsettled by that chain of thought, Jungkook wanted to change the direction of this conversation—quickly. “I don’t blame you.” Jungkook pulled out his cell phone. “I’ve got something brewing, by the way.”“Oh?”Jungkook nodded, studying his contact list as he scrolled through names and numbers. “What’s your schedule like for late Monday afternoon?”Jimin shrugged. “I have to be at Seoul Nights, but not until six o’clock or so. Why?”“Good deal. Hang on a second.” Jungkook activated his desired call, and then focused on Jimin, letting his grin and eagerness shine through. “Namjoon, it’s Jungkook…um-hmm…yeah, with almost thirty minutes to spare. We’re on. Four o’clock Monday…yep…see you then.”Jimin’s eyes widened when he absorbed his side of the conversation—and its implications. Jungkook ended the call, and Jimin clamped a hand across his mouth, his eyes wide with shock. His hand dropped weakly. “Jungkook...damn...you can’t possibly be serious,” he murmured. “Kim Namjoon?”“I’m not the one who’s serious. Kim Namjoon is.”“Oh God! Stop with the tease.” Jimin blushed and slapped his hand on the table playfully.Jungkook snickered. “I’m not, Jimin. He called me almost immediately after receiving your demo.”Their server approached. While they placed an order for samgyeonsol, bulgogi and Kongguksu, Jungkook noticed the way Jimin steadied himself and absorbed the shock of the news. As lunch progressed, they shared plans and strategy for the forthcoming meeting. The more they relaxed over a delicious, leisurely meal, the more they laughed. The more they laughed, the closer they became.In a natural evolution, their conversation strayed from strict work boundaries to personal questions and getting to know one another outside the parameters of being a singer and a managing agent. Doorways to the personal, and to deeper knowledge of one another, slowly swung open.“Tell me about your husband. I noticed his picture on your desk when we met at your office.” Wearing an expectant expression, with no pretense or guile, Jimin opened up Jungkook’s own version of Pandora’s Box. Jungkook forced panic aside. Discussing Taehyung…with Jimin…would not be an optimal direction for this luncheon. “He’s…everything.” Jungkook shrugged, looking into the near distance. “He’s beautiful. Inside and out.”Silence rode in.“I noticed that in the photo. Somehow, I’d expect nothing less.” Jimin’s smile bloomed, and he settled his elbows on the table, resting his chin on his folded hands. The direct impact of his eyes robbed Jungkook of breath. “How long have you been married?”“Almost seven years.”“I’m impressed.”“Seven years is impressive?" “Sadly, yes. In this day and age anything over five years has become long-term commitment.”Jungkook could tell Jimin was only half joking. Jungkook shook his head, and didn’t buy into his lighthearted tone. “I don’t see it that way. Talk to me about impressive and long-term once we’ve hit the forty- or fifty-year mark—maybe like that couple you were watching at the next table. That’s impressive. To me.”Jimin regarded him in silence for a moment. He picked up his fork but didn’t start eating again right away. “Your husband is very lucky. And you’re...lucky.” Jimin stopped pushing the food around and settled back in his chair. “I’m on the dating wheel, and I have to tell you, it’s nothing short of crazy and disheartening.”“I don’t envy you having to deal with it, but I can’t imagine you having difficulties. Fate has their own way of pushing through your life when the time is right. You’re successful, you’re attractive, and you live in a world full of interesting people and ample opportunities.”“Yes, Jungkook—veeeeery interesting people.” With an arched brow and a pointed look, Jimin let those words, and their meaning, settle in between them. Prickles of pleasure, and fear, danced along his skin. Jungkook reared back and lifted his hands.“Come on. Seriously.” “First of all, I am serious, but you’re a perfect case in point. You’re handsome, charming, and interesting—but you’re married. Others I’ve met are, say, playboy, or I find out they’re pursuing me out of a misplaced sense of fame and the glamour of being with a singer. Then there are the ones who are simply too shallow to look beyond outward packaging to what lies beneath.” Jimin shrugged. “Like I said. Crazy.”“Don’t lose faith, Jimin. I’ve always held to the belief that everyone has their better half, a person created just for them, by Moon. You’ll find your way to that person.”The words were meant to reassure and deflect Jimin’s obvious interest in him. Jungkook set his utensils aside and wiped his mouth on a linen napkin that he resettled across his lap.Jimin ate a bite of salad while he studied Jungkook intently. “Do you really believe that? All that fated soulmate thing.”“Yes, I do. And trust me Taehyung and I are one of the pair.” Jungkook smiled as the reminder of how he and Taehyung met crossed his mind.Jimin seemed subdued. “You really believe Moon goddess works that closely in our lives? That personally?”“With all that I am.” Jungkook looked at him squarely now, reinforced by the belief system he had held onto his entire life. For both their sakes, he wanted to make that point clear.“I envy your that level of conviction. I suppose I believe there is some force in action—a creator of the universe and all that, but to me, that entity feels remotely convenient to put all the burden of the world on this spiritual force. Inaccessible. I don’t see her—the moon goddess, or whatever, as being that deeply involved in our lives.” Jimin chuckled. “After all, I’m sure whatever force guides us is far too busy to get to trouble over my simple comings and goings. You might say my beliefs are more practical than mythical.” Oh, Jimin, Jungkook thought, you’re so misguided…and being with you is a wonderful—and when I’m near you, I wander into a place that offers an intoxicating thrill but scares me to death because it stems from a spot in my soul that’s not aligned to my belief system, and what I know to be true. While his thoughts roiled, Jimin smoothed a subtle wrinkle in the tablecloth. Jungkook rested a hand on top of his to still the nervous gesture. “Then take a closer look at the life around you, Jimin. Find what you’re seeking. You’ll discover a whole different world. A better world. Believe me. Love always finds its way in our life.”When the waiter approached to check on their satisfaction with the meal, Jungkook noticed the way Jimin watched him, the curiosity and attentiveness, the attraction the Omega's eyes tried to mask. Despite Jungkook’s convictions, he was in danger here, and he knew it, because in Jimin’s eyes he detected a new and even more powerful level of emotion. Jimin looked at him as though he were the one who held the answers he sought, but Jungkook knew better. Right now, he was nobody’s role model, and he recognized unequivocally that he was walking on a very dangerous territory. “You make a very compelling statement.”Jungkook directed his gaze to the water goblet he retrieved. He took a long gulp to compose himself and to quench the intimacy of his piercing gaze.With a fork, Jimin picked at the remains of his meal. Jungkook saw the motions for what they were—distraction. He pulled the napkin from his lap, setting it on the table. He leaned toward him, tilting his head until he earned his attention and Jimin looked up. He sank into his eyes with no effort whatsoever.“What’s wrong, Jimin?”Jimin took a breath and looked away. The fall of his hair obscured his view of his eyes, but he tucked it behind his ear. “I’m sorry for seeming so awestruck. That’s not the vibe I want to give you. Really. But you’re a pretty knock-em-out type of person. You are like an alpha of every omega’s dream soulmate—if you ask me.”Once again, he worked through Jungkook like a potion he couldn’t resist. Jungkook knew he was vulnerable to him. He longed to deepen the intimacy of the moment. He wanted to take hold of his hand, draw him closer—and closer still…
Jungkook. What the fcuk! No. Do not regard him lustfully, lest you commit adultery in your heart…
An irrefutable and powerful voice prompted somewhere inside him kept in place, but doing so was equivalent to torture. A divine presence stopped his lustful thoughts. In response, trying hard to rebuke his desires, Jungkook closed his hand into a fist as his wedding band glimmered in his finger, deliberately protecting his commitment to Taehyung. Yet, here he sat, confused and transfixed by the compelling presence of a sin. A short time later, lunch concluded and a leather folio rested on the table that contained their settled bill. They stood and Jungkook moved into place from behind, promptly taking custody of Jimin's coat.Holding it open, Jungkook waited, absorbing a glance and a beat of affected silence from Jimin before the omega tucked his arms inside and adjusted the fit. When Jimin began to reach up, intending to adjust the collar, Jungkook took the initiative. Something inside him, something heretofore inaccessible, wavered mightily when his hands caressed the bare skin of Jimin's neck in a feathery touch and straight strands of black satin slipped through his fingers. The intoxicating scent of the omega drifted to him, full of a subtle and provocatively floral. Jimin took a long look back at Jungkook over his shoulder, and Jungkook moved away but kept a guiding hand against the small of his back when they exited the restaurant. Jungkook steeled himself, jarred again by the goading voice and his own instincts. At that precise moment, Jimin happened to tilt his head in his direction, capturing his gaze. The omega smiled into his eyes in a way that was so bright and so ripe with meaning and admiration it electrified Jungkook's senses tenfold.In that instant, Jimin reached a spot of his heart that the alpha had closed willingly for anyone but Taehyung. !!~~~~!! Jungkook needed to straighten up.As he had said to Priest Hyungsik at the Athena benefit, it had been way too long since he attended services at KKOF. That was a fact he could easily address. When he took enough time to examine his jumbled feelings, he knew he needed to find respite, and peace, for his mind. God alone would give that to him, and today presented a great starting point.A return to Sawon, then a Sunday afternoon spent with Taehyung and his family at his parents’ house would work against Jimin’s siren call.In the bathroom Sunday morning, Jungkook double-checked his appearance in the mirror while Taehyung moved fast through the entryway. He breezed by and opened a cabinet drawer. There, he hunted and pecked for makeup supplies. A second or two later, his eyes tagged Jungkook in the mirror. Jungkook answered the unspoken question. “I thought I’d go to the Sawon with you.”“Really?”The smile that burst across Taehyung’s face forced Jungkook to realize how much this little gesture meant to him.“I know it’s been a while. I’ve slid into bad habits. With my Saturday nights taken up by events, and talent scouting, it’s been easy to ignore the schedule so I could sleep in, or enjoy a day without any obligation except rest. That’s wrong. I told Priest Hyungsik I wanted to make a change, and I mean it.”“It’s not really a day of rest when it doesn’t encompass meeting people you regard as family.” Taehyung’s quiet remark cut into his thoughts. They lacked any form of condemnation, but his point hit home all the same. “You’re right, love.” Jungkook knew what was what. He knew he needed to absolve his moral weakness—a weakness that intensified each time he found himself in Jimin’s company. That’s what drove him to his weekly ritual that he did with Taehyung for almost three years, today. Taehyung’s delighted reaction was an added bonus.“I’m glad you’ll be there.” Taehyung gave him a lingering hug, a quick, sweet kiss.Jungkook’s heart twisted. He felt trapped. Trapped and divided. Today would help him change. He felt sure of it. !!~~~~!! Jungkook’s simmering disquiet held no power at all against the contentment that swept through him when he walked through the doors of KKOF. Walking into Sawon in the building felt like coming home—a welcome oasis of peace that threw a blanket of comfort over a world of turmoil.“Naturally,” Priest Hyungsik exclaimed to the gathering, “that’s where love and trust go hand in hand. If they don’t align, a face-off occurs.” He walked the midest aisle, pulling a thick piece of red string from the pocket of his slacks. “Temptation is insidious, isn’t it?”Jungkook shifted uncomfortably.Priest Hyungsik fingered the string. “Seldom does temptation just step up and try to grab you with both its hands and pull you away from trust—pull you in the dark depths of the sins that blind us. That’s too obvious. Isn’t it?”Jungkook’s body heat pulsed upward…and upward again. Contentment funneled away.“More often than not,” the Priest continued, “it hits you at your weakest points. It starts small, and it builds.” He tied a few simple, loose knots in the string. Shrugging, he loosened the knots and brought the string back to its proper smooth line. “If you work at it, temptation can be overcome. Never avoided, mind you, but overcome. Unless you step away avoiding, or become careless.”While he spoke, Priest Hyungsik once again fashioned a series of knots. “We kid ourselves into believing one slip up won’t matter. Even two or three can be managed.” He pulled more knots into place, in rapid-fire motions, with harder, tighter pulls this time. “We think we’ll be okay. It wil overcome. Everybody does it. It’s the norm. Why should I be different from everybody else? Sin won’t get the better of me—giving in won’t matter. Not really. I can beat it.”At the end of his series of excuses for sin, he lifted a messy ball of tight twists and kinks. Jungkook nearly gasped, thoroughly convicted. “Dear people, let me warn you. If you hold to that belief, you’ll end up just like this ball of knots. Life will become a complicated flurry of half-truths, evasions and sadness. It will lead you away from the joy and peace we all long for.”The messy knots looked more darker, almost black to Jungkook than the red string ends Priest was holding. Thankfully, Taehyung remained riveted by the discourse, unmindful of the reaction that produced from Jungkook. Whereas, Jungkook—he was a mess of sweat and unease—he felt like he would throw up. He wanted nothing more than to lurch from his seat and run away. As far as he can. His alpha was more quesy and it was getting harder and harder for Jungkook to content his uneasiness inside as it is. He wished, desperately, that he could charge fast down the aisle and leave behind this glaring condemnation of his recent behavior.And Priest spoke again, “But let me warn you about something else, friends. Don’t be too harsh on yourself as you’re nothing but a puppet in Fate’s hands. Just keep your faith.” His declaration resounded through the hall. “Sometimes experiencing the harrowing results of deepest sin will drive us back to our beliefs in ways so powerful it’s nothing short of a miracle. You should be just true to yourself.” He lifted the twisted, contorted ball of string again. “Sometimes it’s the miracle, and sometimes temptation barricades us in forever. The choice? It’s ours. It is us who could just direct our thoughts into actions and act on the things that could stray us from the right path. Trust that divine voice that calls for you to not stray from the truth. Trust that guiding light and walk the path that would lead us all to love.”Shame covered Jungkook. He removed his arm from its usual comfortable perch against the back of the bench, where it could skim along Taehyung’s shoulders and connect the two of them. The gesture, now, felt too intimate. He was unworthy of his husband. Sinful thoughts, an errant heart, left him unable to reach out to Taehyung and draw upon the strength of their marriage and commitment to one another. Jungkook couldn’t avoid the wedge that was being shoved between them. He fidgeted once again.As if the omega could hear his dilemma, he turned his head, looking at Jungkook with curiosity.Jungkook couldn’t even find a way to fake a reassuring smile, so he looked down, unable to focus on the commemoration and the spiritual talk, usually calming peace that long left him. He twitched his wrist so he could discreetly check his watch. Another fifteen or twenty minutes and he could escape.Everyone stood up as they lined up to pay their holy bows to the goddess of love and faith. Taehyung gestured him to join along. Jungkook nodded and gestured for Taehyung to walk forward. He felt too coward to sit on his knees alongside Taehyung when his heart was at war with the emotions that were too strained. Jungkook watched as Taehyung followed the others and seemed to take in the lovely pictures that accompanied. He stayed rooted, thinking.Could he hide? No. Not much longer. Jungkook fought to smoothly maintain the spot next to his mate.A heart-threatening, painful crossroads stretched before him, and it was going to be the most difficult pathway he’d ever traveled in his life. !!~~~~!!!!~~~~!!
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
“So, when are we going to hear the pitter-patter, guys? C’mon! The whole family is looking forward to expanding! Jungkook, you gotta get with the program, dude.”Jungkook’s blood pressure rose. He tried to ignore his brother-in-law Jihaan, tactfully deferring a glare and an exasperated groan, but he couldn’t help thinking so much for a day of rest. When he glanced at Taehyung, the omeg gave him an understanding look and mouthed sorry.Jungkook’s return smile was weak, but it came from a spot of sincerity. None of this teasing and needling was his fault, after all. Jungkook passed by, giving his arm a squeeze on his way to the living room where he could tune in to whatever sports event was playing on TV. He’d take anything but this. As he left the kitchen, his phone buzzed softly, and then vibrated against his belt.Between the main rooms, the hallway was empty. He braced against the wall and puffed a heavy breath as he extracted his phone and checked caller ID. He had received a text from Jimin. That surprised him—they really had nothing to discuss until they met at Jive Labels Records—but there was no mistaking the pleasure he felt hearing from him on his holiday.He glanced around quickly, ensuring privacy before he entered into his messages and read JM: Sorry to bug u on a Sunday Sent: 2: 59 pm
JM: but the excitement can’t be contained! Sent: 3:00 pm
JM: Wish it were Monday already. Sent: 3:00 pm
JM: Can’t wait 2 c u…we’ll take this opportunity by storm! Sent: 3:01 pm
Suddenly, Jungkook could all but feel the omega’s presence around him, and he didn’t object to his Sunday intrusion whatsoever. Rather, it enticed him away from all the negativity that kept searing him and took him to a place that was beautiful, and exciting. Given his present mood and circumstances, Jungkook couldn’t wait for Monday either. He clicked the reply toggle and began to work the keyboard.
Me: You bet we'll.
Me: LOLing @ your enthusiasm.
Me: Love it - keep it comin
Me: I’ll call u later 2 revw sm thots.
He typed “Miss u” but seeing the words glowing back at him on the screen caused his pulse rate to hitch. Had he really just entered that? In a hurry, he struck the delete key until the last two words were erased. Clicking his phone locked, he stood there, in the quiet of the hallway, thinking about what he had almost done—what he was dangerously close to doing. Hitting backspace didn’t change the fact that the statement was true. A simple electronic communication from Jimin had left him aroused at every level and completely engulfed in his feelings for him.And Taehyung.Where was his love in this situation? Why couldn’t his love for his husband ease this discomfort and help this confusion go away?“Uncle Jungkook, come here!” Eight-year-old Jonghyun, the son of Taehyung’s brother, Seokjin, and his husband, Jihaan, bounded into the hallway, on a collision course with Jungkook’s legs. In fact, young Jonghyun wrapped them in a hug. The youngster started to jump up and down, grabbing Jungkook’s hand. “We’re playing Wii Tennis in the family room! Be on my team, OK? You rock at Wii Tennis! Let’s play!”Jonghyun’s gleeful bout of recruiting worked magic. Jungkook cast a fast look over his shoulder, toward the kitchen where he knew Taehyung worked on food preparations with Seokjin and others.Emptiness and sorrow rode toward him with thundering hoof-beats. !!~~~~!!
So, when are we going to hear the pitter-patter, guys?
Taehyung stood at the sink, rinsing vegetables for Seokjin to cut into pieces for cooking. Deliberately he kept his back to others. Seokjin’s husband, Jihaan was the tease in the family, and he meant well, but sometimes, teasing hit upon raw nerves.After drying his hands, Taehyung took a pained breath and settled a palm against his abdomen. There were times when it physically hurt to feel hope bloom and grow. There were times when it physically hurt to want something so desperately, to sense it within your grasp, only to know that in a single moment of time, with a fateful, irrefutable signal from his body, all the dreams and wishes of his heart could shatter into oblivion.Today, though, he continued to hope. Today, he kept a building recognition to himself. After all, recent physical symptoms might turn out to be nothing.Or then again…His dreams of having Jungkook’s child, and finally realizing that culminating, solidifying act of their relationship held so much power he might actually be psyching himself into a place where he experienced literal queasiness at odd times during the day, or those occasional prickles of soreness in his chest, or that queasiness in his stomach.For now, Taehyung was too afraid to make an appointment with his doctor and find out for sure. While dashing around town during the past week running errands, he’d strode past the pregnancy test kits at a local drug store and his entire body went jittery. He paused there when a flood of anticipation—visions of everything that might come to be—washed through his spirit.That’s when he walked away.There was hope in not knowing.In the meantime, he wanted to make a point with his cousins. Just in case this month ended like all the others.He carried a strainer full of cleaned vegetables to the kitchen counter so they could continue cooking preparations.“Y’know? I really do wish y’all would lay off Jungkook and me with regard to the whole having kids thing. It’s not fun for us, Okay? And we don’t need the added pressure.”Seokjin and Soyeon paused from seasoning the pork loin to give him a startled look, then an apology. When everyone returned to work, Taehyung noticed the way the two of them shared a brief, expressive look of concern.Taehyung waffled on the inside. He had snapped at them, and they didn’t deserve it. He knew he was being defensive, but he couldn’t help himself. The topic was too much of a trigger for him. Everything was so frustrating between him and Jungkook right now. Nothing seemed appropriately centered in their lives, and that left Taehyung empty and afraid on a number of levels.The continuing distance of Jungkook from his life was disturbing, so was his reaction to being at Sawon aisle today. A family would break the pattern of Jungkook burying himself in work. Family would return Taehyung to the Jungkook he had fallen in love with and the relationship they had forged from the beginning.Until recently, they could do no wrong. His career had hit a crescendo of success some five years ago, and so had their marriage. Jungkook used his power in the entertainment industry to focus on talented artists and their genre of music because he believed in it passionately. The venture had been a resounding success for Associated Talent, and Taehyung had loved the ride. Jungkook’s focus on like-minded people kept him solidly grounded, and freed enough of his time to dedicate to children and the family for which they both longed.The plan seemed so perfect.Why was fates denying them this one happiness?Why, recently, did Jungkook seem so drifted from their relationship?Why did work claim increasing portions of his time?Why did he continue to drive himself harder, branching out to promote artists in other genres?Why wasn’t enough, enough?Taehyung nipped at his lower lip, stemming his negativity with the fact that Jungkook enjoyed his nieces and nephews so much, and despite the pressure of hearing pitter-patters Jungkook remained a total sport about these monthly Sunday dinners and family visits.The Alpha claimed to enjoy being with his family and backed it with his actions—like now, with Jonghyun. Through an opening in the wide corridor of the hallway, Taehyung could see and hear the mounting ruckus of a Wii game taking place in the den. Jungkook’s laughter and encouraging shouts could be heard just as clearly as the kids’.That made Taehyung smile.Jungkook’s parents were based in Busan. Taehyung liked to hope his family here in Seoul filled a bit of the hole in his heart that was created by logistical distance. If their inability to conceive continued, how else could that hole in their hearts be filled? They hadn’t talked much about the issue and its alternatives—like adoption or foster care.There simply hadn’t been time. These days they were both too busy for that kind of in-depth discussion. More and more often it seemed as though Taehyung and Jungkook were married yet running in opposite directions.That needed to change.Against the linen fabric of his slacks, he slid gentle fingertips against his stomach. Once again, Taehyung pondered the miracle that might…just might…be taking place inside his body right now. Wistful joy filled him as he pondered the idea of receiving a perfect answer to his most heartfelt prayers.For now, though, he kept everything to himself—private and guarded against the unsettling pattern of his marriage, and the hopes that would be crushed if the new life he hoped for wasn’t meant to be.A short time later Taehyung and Seokjin were starting to mash potatoes when he happened to glance out the kitchen window. Jungkook walked slowly along the far edge of the backyard, taking a phone call. His shoulders were hunched against a bit of a breeze, and his free hand was stuffed into the pocket of his slacks. He smiled frequently and nodded from time to time as he carried on his end of the conversation.For some mysterious reason, nostalgia perhaps, the image of him sent Taehyung tumbling backwards in time, recalling the moment they had met. Almost nine years to the day, Taehyung thought. It amazed Taehyung how much time had passed, and how quickly. He still recalled the details of that night so vividly.His roommate at the time, Park Bogum, had passed along an opportunity to make some extra money by helping out a catering company with an understaffed party event.A member of the wait staff had come down with the flu, so Taehyung accepted the assignment. He had just graduated from the Seoul National University, and although he had landed a job that made decent use of his business/marketing degree, he had college loans to pay off.Plus, he was freshly indoctrinated into the world of rent, utility, and car payments. The idea of working with his friend, plus the prospect of earning some extra cash, spurred him to don black slacks, a white blouse and black bowtie.“Okay, so, the record label is Infinity. Tonight is all about their upper echelon hosting a meet-and-greet session for prospective talent.” Bogum furnished the information as they went to work in the kitchen area of a private home owned by Lee Jongsuk, president of Infinity.Bogum and Taehyung stacked their appetizer trays with salmon canapés, fresh shrimp, and spinach and brie in artichoke hearts. Bogum looked up, adjusting the waistband of his white apron. “There’s going to be lots of sexy singers, talent scouts, and label execs, so look lively. You never know what might happen!”Taehyung made sure his tray was artfully arranged and visually appealing. The food smelled great as a variety of aromas wafted through the kitchen. “Bogum, only you could turn a catering assignment into a love connection.”“Kaytee, I swear. It’d take all the three fates to get you to even stumble across your Mr. Right, let alone latch on to him for good! You need to get out more and mix and mingle!”Kaytee was Bogum’s favorite nickname for him, a combination of the initials of Taehyung’s first and last name.The massive, formal living room was packed with people. Music played at a moderate level. Groups shifted and changed like rays of light splitting across cut crystal. Luxury abounded—in the clothing, jewelry, and style of the attendees.Conversations and laughter filled the atmosphere with appealing warmth.Taehyung didn’t mind keeping to the background. For efficiency’s sake, he had fashioned his long hair into a sleek gel, and the standard-style uniform kept him from drawing any overt attention.That was fine.Getting a chance to people-watch at an event like this kept him happily occupied, and the rest of his focus stayed firm on making sure he didn’t wobble his tray or drop anything.Just before the call to a sit-down dinner came a request for champagne service.Apparently, Jongsuk intended to make a toast. Activity in the kitchen went into overdrive as bottles of Cristal were popped open. Flutes appeared and were filled in a rapid-fire, assembly line motion.Taehyung followed Bogum into the living room with a laden tray.On the second round of champagne deliveries, he approached a group of about six people, offering a serving. Bogum stepped up as well, and in the end they were both left with extra flutes.Intending to return to the kitchen, Taehyung spun too fast, and crashed directly into a tall, hard body that featured a broad chest, a crisp white shirt, and an expensive-looking silk suit of royal blue.Now doused by Cristal.Toppled glassware rolled and bounced on his tray. Taehyung squeezed his eyes shut and winced, wishing to high heaven that the elegant parquet floor at his feet would simply come open and swallow him whole.Really. Anything but this.The impact of the collision nearly sent him reeling backwards, but the tragic recipient of his clumsiness reached out fast and took hold of his arms. An electric current passed through Taehyung as he shuddered where the palm touched his arm.The man, an alpha steadied Taehyung with grace and ease.“Are you Okay?” he asked, his widen as saucers as he stared at Taehyung.Only then did he dare open his eyes. He saw the alpha’s eyes were as wide as a saucer as he stared at Taehyung unblinking.
Mine.
Taehyung nearly spilled the tray all over again. Before him stood, without question, the most handsome alpha he had ever seen. And that said alpha was his mate. Taehyung couldn’t mistake the call of his soul to him.Or was that some wistful thinking on his part?What made him handsome wasn’t so much his looks as something that flowed from the depths of his eyes, something within his confident carriage—which he maintained despite being drenched in champagne.“I—I am so incredibly sorry,” Taehyung whispered.The man just smiled, continuing to look into his eyes, his brows pulled together slightly, as though he were intrigued.Oh, Taehyung, get a grip, Taehyung chided himself. This alpha couldn’t be your mate. He is too good for you.Taehyung licked his lips and couldn’t help but notice as his eyes lingered on his lower lip, fleeting to the mole beneath it. He groaned. “I can’t believe this. Please let me do what I can to make amends…”Doing so would probably cost every cent of the money he had earned tonight, but he would gladly see to the cleaning and care of his shirt, tie and suit.“Sir, I’m so sorry, and Kaytee, are you okay?” Bogum handed the man a clean, white linen napkin, thank goodness.The alpha began to brush off excess moisture, but kept looking at Taehyung, which caused Taehyung to go flush and look away in horrified embarrassment.“Kaytee? What exactly does that stand for?” He continued to work at the stains on his suit.“Kim Taehyung…in case you want to file a suit in small claims court.”The alpha laughed in an understanding way, seeming to take the entire situation well in hand. “I think we can avoid litigation. No real harm done. Now…if this had been red wine, we might have a problem.”The guy was unbelievable. He still had the bulk of the evening ahead, full of networking and dining, and he was acting like a champ despite the fact that Taehyung had nearly demolished his attire. But even in his drink-spattered state, he looked fantastic.Taehyung shuffled his feet, wishing he didn’t blush so easily. “Thank you for being so gracious. I’m a catering rookie, obviously, and I couldn’t be more apologetic—or mortified.”“Don’t be. It’s all good.” The man settled his napkin on the tray that Taehyung now held with two hands, keeping it in his grip as though his life depended upon it. “I’m Jeon Jungkook.”His focus returned to him, and Taehyung’s heart thundered at his intense scrutiny. Damn that voice reverberated through Taehyung’s existence. And with the cool appearance, Taehyung was sure the alpha didn’t feel anything.‘Fool for thinking, you would find a mate in this lascivious party. Taehyung chided himself again.Jungkook’s lips curved, and Taehyung couldn’t help admiring their full, supple line. “I’d shake your hand, but…” He gave a teasing shrug, and then the grin flowed into a smile. The smile did him in—a beautiful thing to behold. Large and warm, it left no doubt that he teased him out of sincere humor and shared folly, not to demean or needle.“I think I better keep hold of my tray instead.” Taehyung sounded breathless but didn’t berate himself much over the fact. His poise was utterly destroyed anyhow.Jungkook’s suit began to dry into somewhat rumpled lines as the party progressed, but Taehyung could feel his eyes following him for the rest of the night. He felt the touch of his gaze every time he entered the dining room to serve.At the end of the party, Taehyung noticed the way the Alpha lingered around the entrance to the kitchen.Even Bogum noticed his interest. “Would you please just go? Go talk to him! He’s waiting for you, Kaytee. Talk about the best meet-cue ever!”“Right. Try most humiliating instead!” Taehyung’s hissed retort belied his nervousness. At last, he ran out of reasons to evade. Unfastening his bowtie and apron, he pulled them both away then pushed through the swinging door of the kitchen.And there he stood, focused on Taehyung. “Hello, Taehyung.”Jungkook didn’t use the nickname of Kaytee or the frequently used short version— Tae. Coming from Jungkook, in that rich, low voice of his, Taehyung’s full name sounded lovely. His breath caught and a light-headed, spinning sensation took over. Taehyung couldn’t fight it. This man was as attractive as could be, and had been nothing short of a prince. Maybe, just maybe, Fates had interceded tonight…Taehyung smiled at him. An enticing warmth bloomed across his shoulders, moving fast up his neck, then his cheeks. “Hi, Jungkook.” He squared his shoulders and lifted his chin. “I’m glad to see you, again. I absolutely insist in paying for the dry cleaning bill.”Jungkook shook his head firmly, just staring at him. Unsettled, enchanted, Taehyung realized he kept quiet on purpose. Awareness settled in. So did attraction—in a large, heavy dose. He perched his hands on his hips and arched a brow at him, refusing to give him too much of an upper hand.“Then how can I make amends?”“I leave town the day after tomorrow, so I don’t have a lot of time, but I’d like to tell you that my alpha called for you and I would love to court you.”“Court me? How?” Taehyung wouldn’t act like a love sick fool in front of an alpha. But his insides were squealing with happiness that it wasn’t just a mistake on his omega’s part to recognize Jungkook as his alpha.“I would like to take you on a date—dinner date.”Take him to dinner? TO court? Or to recompense for dumping a tray of drinks on him?“That’s not exactly making amends.”“It is to me.” Jungkook stepped a bit closer, closing the space between them, but not encroaching too much. “Do you like to dance? I’d love to check out the Moonlight Club.”The suggestion stirred delighted expectation. The Club in the upside part of Seoul was one of his favorites for great food, drinks, and the hilarity of attempting to line dance. “You’re serious about this?”“Very much so.”His presence pulled at a ticklish, sensitive place in his belly. Taehyung nodded his acceptance. Reaching into the breast pocket of his suit coat, Jungkook extracted a business card and held it out to him. He maintained possession for an extra beat when Taehyung tried to claim it. “My cell number is on there. What’s yours?”And pulled out his phone and entered his information promptly when Taehyung recited his contact information. “You don’t know me,” Jungkook said, as he keyed in digits and letters, “so I understand completely if you want to meet me there. And not let me pick you up like the gentleman I’m.” Their eyes tagged once more. “Does that sound okay?”Taehyung appreciated the gesture to his privacy—even though he sensed it to be unnecessary. They agreed to meet at Moonlight the following evening at seven o’clock.There, over pulsing music, fun atmosphere, and flashing lights, they shared a dinner of charbroiled shrimp served atop barbeque-spiced grits. Jungkook, Taehyung discovered, Jungkook was a music agent on the rise with Associated Talent, one of the largest entertainment representation agencies. The firm was on a mission to expand its portfolio of country music performers, hence his trip to Seoul. His boss had sent him to Seoul, charged with the task of scoping out some of the bigger-name venues for live music and to connect with label execs.“I’m absolutely in love…” Jungkook took in a forkful of food while the sentence dangled. His eyes sparkled at Taehyung as he slowly chewed the bite. Taehyung laughed, waiting…and waiting. “…with your accent. You’re a native?”“Born and bred in Seoul, y’all.” Taehyung answered with an exaggerated twang.Jungkook didn’t laugh as expected. He went still, studying him in a way that was disarming. Taehyung began to fall head over heels, at a speed that took him on a crazy, seductive thrill ride. The recognition caused him to shift on his stool at the high table where they sat. He slipped a slice of hair behind his ear. What captivated him most? The fact that this charismatic, suave alpha seemed equally drawn to him.“Do you believe in destiny?”Jungkook shook his head, obviously surprised by the question. “What do you mean?”Taehyung tucked his hand against his neck, sliding his fingers beneath his hair. He shot him a playful, teasing look. “Come on. Surely my question can’t surprise you that much. You know your alpha called to me but you could have ignored it and chosen anyone.”“Luckily, I ended up with the only one who captured and enamored me at first sight.” The intensity of his words lingered. Taehyung dipped his head, hiding his delight at his unabashed interest. “Please understand something clearly, Taehyung—that’s not a line. I’m dead serious.” Jungkook took a moment to study the omega, and Taehyung felt beautifully exposed. “I’m not a drinker. I never have been. But last night, when I saw you handing out champagne, I finally had an excuse to meet you. I was coming from behind, and all I wanted to do was grab a flute and introduce myself. I didn’t even intend to drink it. I only wanted to find out who you were. All night my alpha kept pestering me to go talk to you. But I wanted it to be my call and not destiny’s to make a decision. And with each passing moment I am glad my heart is aligned with the stars.”Taehyung slid into the depths of his eyes and settled there quite comfortably. “It would seem divine intervened.”“Without a question.”His serious, emphatic tone made Taehyung’s heart race. Taehyung nearly teased him about being mighty smooth in the first-date department, but somehow, the idea of joking with him stalled. Jungkook wasn’t making light of this evening together, therefore, neither could he.“Anyway—this is my first trip to Seoul. I’ve only been here for a week, but I like it a lot here. It’s got a great atmosphere.” His comment prompted Taehyung to nod with the pride. It also showed that Jungkook understood a need to move away from the intensity of the moment.Still, Taehyung was lost to him. He edged forward, leaning on the table, watching Jungkook as he spoke. His chestnut brown hair was a wavy, tantalizing fall against his white shirt collar. “I hope this scouting mission will be a success. A pair of VP’s here in Seoul retired recently. Taking over their portfolios and helping grow the business out here would be a great project to take on.”“You might land here permanently?”“If the president at Associated Talent feels I’ve earned my spurs, it’s a possibility.”Taehyung’s heart lifted into a swooping, delicious soar. Following a shared smile they focused on their food, then explored a few likes, and dislikes, some personal histories and family sketches.“Tell me about your family.” Jungkook’s urging left him to consider the fact that he had a way of listening that let Taehyung know he was deeply interested in what he had to say.Jungkook didn’t just listen to him, he took him in with his eyes, with the brush of his hand as he settled it next to his. The slight tilt of his body toward him made him feel exclusive.“I have one sister and a brother. Seokjin and Soyeon. How about you?”“I’m an only child.”The conversation stilled for a moment as Taehyung searched his eyes—and he seemed to welcome the gesture. “Seokjin is the oldest—and he’s always been our protector.” Rather than interject, Jungkook waited for more, watching after him as he dug a fork into his seafood and grits. Taehyung did likewise, but eased into the conversation. “He’s my hero. Smart and sweet and pushy and loving.”Jungkook studied him, but then he looked away. He studied the ebb and flow of the crowd that continued to build as the night deepened. Taehyung wondered. Was Jungkook uncomfortable? Had he said something wrong, or—Jungkook looked back soon enough, though, and resumed an easy, comfortable demeanor, but Taehyung got a sense something deeper rode beneath the surface.“And are you the middle child?”Although his eyes lit with a teasing playfulness, Taehyung catalogued his mannerisms and came to the conclusion that Jungkook might be a bit lonely—yearning for connections like the ones he took for granted. “That would be Soyeon. Actually, I’m the youngest.”“You’re lucky.”“I am?”Jungkook nodded. “I always felt kind of alone. I have wonderful parents, but there’s something about the connection you have with siblings and extended family that’s really special.”Taehyung propped his elbow on the table and rested his chin in his hand. “They drive me crazy sometimes, but, yeah, I wouldn’t trade them for the world.”Jungkook nodded.Taehyung noticed the way Jungkook's eyes fixed on a slim, gold bracelet that skimmed against his wrist. “Being around people makes me feel less alone. Does that make sense? I love the interaction and building relationships. I’ve always loved the things most people dislike—for instance, those times when you have to break the ice, or start conversations with strangers, or work a room at a party or a business function.” He took a few bites of food, and Taehyung couldn’t wait for what he’d say next. “I guess that’s part of how I kept myself from feeling alone—I programmed myself to enjoy being with others.”A short time later, the action on the dance floor won their attention. They were seated at a table on the second floor of the restaurant that overlooked the wide-open space below. People filled space as the music cranked up.“When I found out I was coming here, I promised myself I’d attempt some line dancing.” Jungkook stepped from his stool and offered him his hand. “You game?”The prospect sent a bubble of delight bursting through Taehyung's body. An alpha—who wanted to give line dancing a try? This date kept getting better and better. “You bet I am. And I admire your bravery, seeing as how I certainly didn’t display much grace last night.”Jungkook helped Taehyung down from his stool and led the way to a nearby stairwell. “You were just fine, love. Truly.”Love.Taehyung melted at the natural, easy way Jungkook issued the endearment. The look he gave Jungkook in answer, he was sure, spoke volumes about the workings of his heart. They settled in a domestic ease on their first date. The subtle touches, lingering gazes didn’t look or seem awkward.On the dance floor, Jungkook caught on quick. They laughed when they made mistakes and high-fived when they nailed sequences. Once the music changed to a slow ballad, Jungkook didn’t miss a beat. He took Taehyung gently by the waist and held out his other hand, waiting on him to accept or refuse.Taehyung stepped into the circle of his arms without hesitation, letting Jungkook lead him around the floor.Taehyung closed his eyes, and enjoyed. His alpha scent was doing all kind of magic and his omega was falling harder and harder for the wonderful smell—with a subtle trace of musk. His warmth enveloped Taehyung’s whole existence. “I love this song.”Jungkook paused, leaning back so he could study his face. “Me, too. A person who enters your life, and remains within it, like an answer to all your prayer.”“I like how strongly you profess your faith in sanctity of the bond made by gods.”“It feels good.” Jungkook shrugged. “I wish I could be more forthright about my faith, but the entertainment industry, the media, isn’t very kind to believers. That’s part of why I’d love to end up here. I think I’d be really happy here. The attitudes of the people I’ve met are much more in keeping with my own.”Taehyung was grateful for the steady support of his arm around him, or he would have stumbled.Jungkook’s brows drew together. “Did I say something wrong, or…”“No, not at all. In fact, what you’re saying feels perfectly right to me. Don’t be afraid to step out, Jungkook. Keep developing yourself as an agent then bring it around full-circle to what you believe in the most. Have you ever thought of that? Working in Seoul, growing country music stars, would lead quite naturally to that pathway. You’d be amazing. I can already tell.”This time, Jungkook seemed stunned. They swayed together as the song transcend on about moons and stars…and eternal love.“How can you possibly know me that well?”Taehyung couldn’t reply to that.“In a few simple sentences you mapped out my career goals. How can that be when we’ve only just met…?” He shook his head as his words trailed off. “Wow.”Jungkook tucked in again, closer and tighter now. Taehyung savored the way they fit together, the way a tender, emotional intimacy expanded between them.“If I’m able to head business development in Seoul, I’d be able to focus on the genres I love the most. Working with artists, like you talk about, would be the best of everything. I’ve always felt that way.”“Well, no wonder.”“No wonder what?”“No wonder you were such a gentleman when I dumped champagne on you. I’m beginning to understand where you come from, and what matters to you. Plus, you can tell a lot about a person when they’re confronted by a difficult set of circumstances. You were incredible.”“That accident was a blessing. Look at the results. I’m standing in the middle of one of the greatest spots in Seoul, sharing it with a beautiful omega who’s even more beautiful on the inside. I’m grateful for every one of those stains on my suit.”In that instant, Taehyung knew their lives had come together by a deliberate and brilliant design. The promotion Jungkook had hoped for happened six weeks later, and he focused on Taehyung exclusively, in a spirit of romantic pursuit that stole his heart forever. Above it all, one thing about Jeon Jungkook stood true, the greatest test of grace, and of the goodness you can find in a person, is revealed when you see them react to being under fire. His love was authentic and true—all encompassing.Now, as then, Jungkook enchanted him.Now, as then, he was his golden prince.The subtle clatter of dishware being pulled from the shelves by his mom returned Taehyung to the present moment, but he continued to watch Jungkook prowl the yard and talk on the phone. He felt bad for the alpha, knowing his escape outside was the only chance he’d have to converse in peace, and in a place where he could actually hear what was being said.An idea dawned and Taehyung pulled a mug from the cupboard so he could fill it with water. After heating it, he steeped some orange and cinnamon spiced tea—one of Jungkook's favorites, and a brand his mother stocked specifically for their visits.Wanting to give him something warm and soothing to drink as Jungkook braved the windy elements, Taehyung carried the beverage outside. Anticipating his tender smile and appreciation, he approached and began to hear bits and pieces of the conversation that flowed through the noisy room.His back to Taehyung, Jungkook laughed softly. “I know, right? I’m being protective. Can’t seem to help it.” He waited in silence, and then he laughed again. The sound was intimate.Rich.Taehyung’s stomach went into a nasty pitch and his muscles went tight.“Exactly, yeah. But I must warn you it’s going to be a quick meeting. Namjoon is very abrupt, and he’s all business, so don’t let that worry you.”There was a pause.“Your humility is astounding.”The tenderness—the affection Taehyung recognized—left him gritting his teeth.“Namjoon’s totally on board. Once he meets you—well, let’s just say he won’t hold out long.”Just a few feet away from him now, Taehyung froze. Jungkook’s back remained to Taehyung and the house in general. He wanted privacy. Taehyung tightened his grip on the mug. The cadence of his voice—deep and smooth—didn’t strike Taehyung as strictly professional.“I should probably head back in, Jimin.”Taehyung detected his regret and started to breathe hard. He nearly dumped the tea, fighting his buckling knees. Still oblivious, Jungkook paused again. “Um-hmm, I’m at Taehyung’s parents. Kind of a Sunday tradition…” It was then that Jungkook turned. “Don’t even worry about it, I don’t mind hearing from you at all…”What Taehyung saw in Jungkook's eyes hit him with the impact of hammer blows. In his eyes was a desire that Taehyung had only ever seen directed toward one person.Him.Until now.Who in the world was this Jimin person?Who was this golden child on the super-fast-track?Taehyung had no time to school his troubled features, and when Jungkook froze—so much like Taehyung himself just had—he knew he had caught Jungkook off guard.“I’ll, ah, I’ll get back to you…I need to hang up.” Jungkook's verbal faltering made Taehyung’s blood run cold because in it, his guilt was confirmed.Jungkook disconnected the call and slid his phone into the pocket of his slacks. His manner was tight, and his hands seemed to be trembling slightly. He was stumbling, and Taehyung knew it.Everything all too well.“I’m sorry I interrupted.” Taehyung's voice was deceptively calm. The spice of orange and cinnamon swirled upward on curls of steam, reminding Taehyung of why he had come outside in the first place.For Jungkook.For his comfort.Tears filled his eyes, overtaking his lashes and dribbling down his cheeks as he ducked his head and blinked furiously. “I…wanted to get you some…something warm to drink since you were out here for...for a while.”Taehyung had looked away fast, but not before seeing the way Jungkook's shoulders slumped, the way his eyes were glossed by shame. Taehyung held out the mug and Jungkook took custody.Taehyung closed his eyes, unable to bring himself to face the ugliness that had sprung up between them like grotesque shapes. Once Jungkook took the tea, Taehyung spun away so fast, needing to leave behind the weedy tangle of his doubts as he tried to get a handle on his relationship with his husband.His golden prince.Taehyung made two steps toward the house then he felt Jungkook’s hand slide against his upper arm and hold on tight. “Taehyung. Wait.” His voice carried to him in soft entreaty.Overwrought, Taehyung gathered another deep breath, gulping in as much air as he could before turning. “What?”Again, Taehyung's tone was deceptively calm, but it was also lifeless. He could tell at once that Jungkook struggled to cobble together some form of a reply that would explain the verbiage and tone of his call.“I had to calm down a nervous—”“Bullshit, Jungkook.” Inside and out, Taehyung fumed. His outward calm transformed into a storm. “That’s bullshit. On a Sunday afternoon? During a gathering with our family? It didn’t sound to me like you minded the interruption very much, and you were out here talking to this Jimin for quite a while. Was he that upset and worried?” Taehyung felt choked off and horrid. Sick. Part of him died inside even thinking of Jungkook harboring feelings for some other omega.Jungkook didn’t release his hold on Taehyung. He bent quickly and set the mug down in the grass. Then he held both his arms in a gentle, but firm grip. Taehyung wanted to kick the mug straight over and run away.“Taehyung, please stop and talk to me. What did you hear that upset you so much?”His attempt to soothe was the last thing Taehyung wanted. It felt too placating. “I have a better idea, Jungkook. Why don’t you talk to me for a change? Why don’t you tell me a little more about this Jimin guy you’re so excited about? The man who consumes so much of your time lately? Why don’t you talk to me anymore with the same degree of tenderness I heard in your voice with him just now? What does he mean to you? Tell me Jungkook, tell me he is an alpha and I’ll let it slide. Tell me there is nothing and...”Jungkook took a sharp breath and closed his eyes as though he were attempting to gain control of himself.Taehyung wondered about that, because he hadn’t sniped at Jungkook. Despite the crusty tracks of his wind-dried tears, he had kept his gaze and his tone as level as possible. Apparently he had struck home with an arrow.“Taehyung, Jimin—he... he has a career-changing—life-changing—meeting on Monday. As his managing agent, I’m coaching him through an exceptionally fast and intense growth spurt in his career. He is new to all this and he needs the guidance, and that’s what he’s paying me to do.”With love in your eyes, Jungkook? The kind of love I’ve committed my life and my heart to?' Taehyung wanted to scream. But instead...“I want to believe you, Jungkook, but lately…lately we’ve grown so far apart I don’t know what to think. It scares me! We’re not taking care of each other like we used to. I want to work on it, but…” Taehyung lifted his shoulders in resignation. Slipping away from his grasp, he hugged himself against his middle. Where an answer to their prayers just might be dawning…Tears welled up all over again.Jungkook moved close and very tentatively, very gingerly, loosened his arms from their clench. He drew him in a tight hug. “I want to work on us, too, love. I’m here, and I was at the Sawon today. I’m with you.”His breath was warm and familiar against Taehyung's cheek. His scent calming his jittering omega. Jungkook always had this soothing presence around Taehyung - making him fall for the alpha more and more every time he is around.Wonderful. Taehyung had no idea what to do next.The tenor of his conversation with Jimin still riled Taehyung from the inside. Despite the assurances, the interlude struck Taehyung as being wrong.Jungkook had been thoroughly present to Jimin. Attentive. Since Taehyung missed those aspects of Jungkook’s personality lately, perhaps he had overreacted.Maybe he was jealous of an innocent gesture because he missed his husband so much, because the way he watched out for Jimin is the way Taehyung wanted him to look out for him.For them.Was the exchange as innocent as Jungkook said? Taehyung had no clue. Either he was a mixed-up hormonal mess who imagined conspiracies, or his marriage was falling apart before his very eyes—with no forewarning and a gut-wrenching lack of fanfare.“Lately,” Jungkook began, swaying slowly, “we’ve been struggling to make a way to each other through everything we’ve got going on in our lives. Every couple faces challenges. We’ll make it through this one. Nothing changes my love for you. Nothing.”Taehyung wanted to believe him. He wanted to trust in his husband without even a hint of doubt. He rested his head against his chest and listened to his heartbeat.The calling, that he always felt when he leaned in to his chest.Instead of affirmation, a thought occurred to him: Jungkook hadn’t really answered his question about Jimin and what he truly meant to him. !!~~~~!!!!~~~~!!
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Just over two weeks later, Jimin was back in the recording studio, this time fully contracted and engaged by Jive Labels Records.An added layer of speed and pressure manifested itself for Jungkook when Kim Namjoon made immediate arrangements for the production of a full-length album and a video for ‘Let Me Love,’ which would be Jimin’s debut release.Jungkook walked through the lobby of the building that housed the recording studios of Jive Labels and paused just long enough to check in at the security desk. He was looking forward to witnessing the beginning of Jimin’s official recording sessions.During the elevator ride to the fifteenth floor, Jungkook thought about the confrontation with Taehyung—and that fateful Monday afternoon meeting with Jimin and Namjoon. The introduction between Jimin and Namjoon had been an unfocused, haze-shrouded disaster for Jungkook. No matter how hard he had tried, he couldn’t concentrate.Instead, he kept thinking about Taehyung. And the accusation hung between them.Fortunately, Jimin and Namjoon had hit it off beautifully. That made it easy for Jungkook to fade back while he noted the general terms of the agreement Namjoon offered. Jungkook had vowed to himself that he’d study the document in depth upon receipt, praying that proper focus would be restored by then.The agreement was a slam-dunk, executed at warp-speed.“Sometimes it falls together this quickly,” Jungkook had assured Jimin once he inked the contract at Jungkook’s office and Jo Beomgyu popped a celebratory bottle of champagne.Jungkook had taken a sip and smiled along with the rest of his team, but the champagne turned his stomach sour. All he could think about was Taehyung, not a professional victory.During the course of his career, he had worked with dozens of beautiful people—mostly omegas. When he signed them on as clients, his sole purpose was to propel them toward a pathway of mutually beneficial success and nothing more. There had been a few times when some of the client’s gratitude had slid into something deeper, but with no effort at all, Jungkook turned them away.Jungkook didn’t want, or need, anyone but his mate. He had married the omega of his dreams, the one Moon had designed and designated for him alone. Taehyung was a gorgeous, spirited person who shared his life fully and, in every way, imaginable—for better and for worse.Jimin, and omegas like him, might be attracted to him in a superficial or physical sense, mostly because they confused the magic he worked on their careers with love. Jungkook had always made sure he stayed centered towards his dedication to the bond he shared with his husband, and grounded enough, to recognize the difference between love and lust.Therefore, in an industry riddled by disposable relationships, his marriage remained rock solid. But then had come that nasty episode two weeks before in the backyard of Taehyung’s childhood home.Taehyung knew him better than anyone else did; he sensed what was happening to him. The recognition left him walled in and claustrophobic. Jungkook tried to fight the attraction he felt for Jimin, but time and again, his mind returned to the omega.Time and again, he stepped across one emotional boundary, then another and another until the rules of what he knew to be right and wrong became smeared and indiscernible.The elevator doors glided open and Jungkook stepped out. Confusion beat against him from every side. Amidst escalating tensions and unfulfilled needs, the slow-building wave that was Park Jimin pushed to shore, gaining momentum, threatening to pull him under.Embattled, but determined to do his job, Jungkook skirted a narrow, empty hallway and pushed open the door leading to the studio. He knew he couldn’t continue to take a sledgehammer to his most meaningful relationship like this, but right now, he needed to take care of his client.Jimin and Park Seojoon greeted him, and Jungkook dropped an easy clap against Seojoon’s shoulder, glad that Namjoon had given their demo producer a chance to help launch Jimin’s album.“Hey, Jimin”—Seojoon rolled his chair forward and leaned against the mixing board—“you should show Jungkook the rough cut of that scene from your promotional video.”Jimin turned in his chair. When he faced Jungkook, his eagerness reached out before his gaze landed on Jungkook and took hold. Jungkook realized Jimin held a DVD that glimmered beneath the ceiling lights as he wiggled it in his hand. “Do you want to see what we have so far?”“Absolutely.” Jungkook dragged all the enthusiasm he could in his voice and smile. But Jimin didn’t seem to notice.
‘He isn’t your Taehyung who knows you like the back of his hand.’
“Actually, we’ve only recorded the last quarter of the song—the outdoor shots—and I have to return the DVD to Namjoon’s office before we leave, but I couldn’t wait to show you!” Jimin chirped, his scent a mixture of floral and something earthy.Jungkook’s alpha recoiled inside and he felt like he needed to put some distance between them. But being professional and all, he moved a chair into place at Jimin’s right, in front of a small, flat-screen monitor.Seojoon cued the promo video and after a quick fade in, ‘Let Me Love’ moved toward its conclusion. Framed by a cobalt sky and towering trees, the rear of a car could be seen. Tires spun in time to the music and the car peeled off straight and fast down a gravel road with Jimin’s vocals accompanying. The vignette played out as bare feet filled the screen then the silhouette of a man escaping the narrow, tree-lined roadways and wooden shop-fronts of his small town life, moving forward to take on the world.A quick camera cut later, Jimin’s image filled the screen. Wind blew his hair into sexy, billowing waves. There was sass in his cheshire smile as the vocals and lip-synching ended. Then, he used a fingertip to edge down the frame of an oversized pair of sunglasses, revealing eyes that sparkled and danced. He arched a brow and delivered a slow, enticing wink. After that, he shrugged playfully and moved the glasses back into place over those captivating violet eyes.Seconds later, the screen faded to black.“No doubt about it. The camera loves you, Jimin.” Seojoon’s comment had Jungkook stifling a satisfied smile. He had known it all along. A platinum voice packaged in the being of a vibrant man.Jimin turned his chair toward Seojoon, and they chatted about the schedule for completing the video. That launched a discussion of the songs they’d be recording today. Jungkook listened, but the images he had just seen lingered, transforming into an overwhelming temptation.He stretched an arm along the back of Jimin’s chair. The gesture looked casual, but felt anything but. His fingertips nearly brushed Jimin’s shoulder. The skin there beckoned, covered only by the fabric of a pale blue silk shell. Jungkook inched just a bit closer…another emotional boundary stretching before him, tickling his awareness, begging to be crossed…Jimin kept his focus on Seojoon, but he leaned back just enough that his fingertips now connected with his back, gliding against a few strands of satiny hair and warm, dewy skin.Now Jungkook couldn’t pull away without being obvious about it. He realized the Omega was playing into the moment of contact as much as he was. He wanted to gasp for breath because his lungs screamed for oxygen, yet all he had done was touch Jimin.This was insane…“The team will be reporting for duty in a few minutes. I’m going to grab a pop before we get started.” Seojoon pushed back from the soundboard with a flourishing spin and then stood from the chair to leave.Once the door closed behind Seojoon, Jungkook stood, and so did Jimin. Their eyes met. A silence, redolent with charged electricity, filled the room.The vibrations sang against Jungkook’s body.“You know—” Jimin started to speak but stopped all at once and cleared his throat. He folded his arms across his chest. He looked up once again and a renewed strength flowed from his eyes, changing the room claustrophobic to Jungkook again, the scent heightening in the atmosphere around them even further—if such a thing were possible. “You’re a dream weaver, Jungkook.”The softly spoken words cut the thick, heavy silence, but left behind a moment of truth—a challenge unspoken but clearly identified. The words weren’t about the music. Not completely.Desire rammed home, knocking Jungkook completely away from everything but Jimin. His muscles coiled into a tight spring. He fought, and felt himself slipping, sliding and losing precious ground.“You’re like a cosmic force that’s come into my life and opened door after door to every wish I ever had. You have Midas touch—everything you touch turns gold...you are slowly making my life golden, and that lingering touch is making my dreams come true. I’m in awe of you.”This, Jungkook could tell, wasn’t a coy, flirty man issuing deliberate provocations.Jimin was being genuine here. That’s what kept tripping Jungkook up. That fact made the omega impossible to resist.“I’ve been prepared for everything that’s happened with regard to my career. I’ve been ready to move forward as a recording artist ever since I could talk. But I wasn’t prepared for you, Jeon Jungkook. Not at all. I can’t even think straight around you; you have that profound of an effect on me. You’re all I can think about. I know that’s wrong. I’m not the kind of person who goes after married men. I’m not the kind of person who…who…”“Jimin, hang on—”Jimin refused Jungkook’s strident interruption by a firm shake of his head. “No. Please, listen to me.” He stilled himself for a moment, catching his racing heart. “I think what drives me crazy is the fact that I know...I know that somewhere along the lines...you feel it, too. I feed off every look and every touch you give. You kiss my cheek, making it appear so casual, or help guide my step, and it...entices me...it thrills me. I love the simple act of talking to you on the phone, and the much more profound act of sharing all of this incredible forward progress with you.”A lone tear escaped Jimin as his lower lip quivered. Jungkook could feel the omega shaking like a leaf in a raging storm.The words...Jungkook had to do something—the words hit him like shrapnel, ripping apart any semblance he might maintain of control and propriety. He stepped forward. His world was hazy at the edges, yet hyper-focused when it came to Jimin. He took his arms, and then drew him in for a long, tight hug.Jimin’s heart thundered against his chest. The omega wasn’t playing around; he was overwrought, and he trembled against him.There was no escaping the fact that his reaction thrilled Jungkook.“Let’s sit down, Jimin…and talk this through.” His nerves sizzled and burned. “It’s something we should have done a while ago.”Jungkook led the omega to a padded bench stationed behind the studio control panel. After they sat down, Jungkook kept close, settling an arm around Jimin’s shaking form, his drooped shoulders. Jungkook used a gentle touch to tip his head up so their eyes were aligned. Jimin’s eyes sparkled with a violet daze, and he tried to look away, but Jungkook kept him in place, refusing to let him gain distance.“This is completely inappropriate. I know that. I’m your client, and I know all about professional boundaries, and why it’s so important that they be respected and observed. But I’ve never felt this way before, Jungkook. What I feel for you takes me over.” Jimin breathed out softly, their faces close enough that his breath skimmed Jungkook’s cheek. “Those are all the words I can give.” Jimin tilted his head, opening himself to the Alpha like an offering. “I want more from you.”The words chipped and chiseled, working through an opening in Jungkook’s mind that brought about cataclysmic change. He went white-hot and blind—blind to everything but the ache in his soul that yearned, unabated, for Jimin.What would it feel like, he wondered in a helpless form of hunger, to take possession of the adoration, the freshness of attraction Jimin offered? Just for a moment…just for a split-second of exploration and pleasure, that’s all…Suddenly Jungkook couldn’t remember where time ended and began, where passion transformed into a primitive, elemental urgency of purpose. He only knew he needed a piece of the tempation lingering in the back of his mind. He needed the open reception Jimin was providing. He needed to know what the omega tasted like. He needed to know his textures. He needed to know all the rough edges. And none of it would be denied. Not this time.Jimin’s pulse beat at his slim, scented neck, drawing Jungkook’s focus. His gaze fell to Jimin's quivering lips, glossy, moist and waiting. The ache intensified to unbearable.Jungkook pushed his hair from his face tucking them behind his ear and angled his head with one thought and only one: his kiss—that sweetest, most intoxicating start of a physical connection.His mouth literally watered at the idea of…No. His heart thundered. He trembled all over.
No!
That powerful voice kept admonishing him. He teetered, and he swayed. His head remained stoic as he succumbed to the pull of soft allure. A mere fraction of second later, Jimin removed that thin wall of reluctance by reaching out first.
JUNGKOOK. NO!
He should move away, but he couldnt. He wanted to move away, but the temptation had this strong vice grip on him that he couldn't move, couldn't look away. The call of what he knew to be right faded to nothing against the drumbeat that pounded in his ears and obliterated all things logical and rational. The call became quite easy to ignore.Jimin's lips finally touched his and a strangled sound bubbled upward from the depths of his chest. An instant later, he sank deeper into the dark depths of lust...the kiss that sent him drowning deeper and deeper and spinning in its accord. The world swirled into mind-dizzying flashes of color. The kiss began with the giddy rush he had fully expected. The flavors and scents and feelings he had pined for weeks now filled him. Jimin’s hot breath mixed with his, foreign and intriguing, pushing him on. Desire opened a floodgate, and Jungkook fell willingly beneath a deluge of passion that fed and intensified their connection.A heartbeat later, the sweetness turned rancid.A heartbeat later, the thrill turned to nausea.A heartbeat later, the colors turned dark.A heartbeat later, the scent turn putrid.A heartbeat later, the kiss turned into a moment of horror that washed over him in cold dread, wiping him completely out of the moment.Jungkook felt like he was suctioned in a tar filled hole, surrounded by only black...as far as his eyes could reach, he only saw black.Jimin probed his mouth but Jungkook was frozen. He realized that the smell which was earthy before turned foul...smelling like burning skin...smelled like decaying dead. Jungkook tried to move away, but he was held tightly in a steel like grip, something choking him from within. He didn't realize it was his own sob that was threatening to break.With all his strength when he jerked away, his breaths threatening to convulse into gasps and heaves, Jungkook realized that, not only had he committed a grievous wrong, he and Jimin were no longer alone.Seojoon stood framed in the half-open doorway, watching the proceedings with wide eyes and a sense of awkwardness that filled the space of the studio. The producer’s gaze bounced back and forth between them.“Umm…I…I can’t believe it…I—I almost made it to the kitchen and realized I forgot...ummm...forgot...my pass...my security pass.” In quick, stuttered motions, Seojoon grabbed his magnetized access card from the lip of the control panel. Following a hasty—“Ah…see...see you in a bit…”—he was gone.Jungkook wanted to disappear into oblivion. Heartbreak and self-loathing clawed at him until nothing was left except sickness and regret.Jimin stood apart from him, his head bowed, his breathing ragged.“Jungkook,” Jimin whispered, “we needed that. We did. We needed to stop the tap dance.” His eyes brimmed when they lifted to Jungkook once more. “Now we need to face facts. We need to face us…and what we feel for one another. What we’ve been trying to avoid—without much success—has been eating away at me for weeks and weeks.” He lifted his chin. “Selfishly, I’m glad to discover you’re as affected by your feelings as I am.”For the first time, his intensity of spirit morphed from that of sweet-natured ingénue to a driven and determined man on a quest. Jungkook couldn’t push a single word past the logjam in his throat.“I’m very attracted to you.” Jimin stepped so close Jungkook could feel warmth radiating him in waves. The Jimin standing in front of him wasn’t an omega but a hell blaze—the hell fire ready to burn him alive. This time Jungkook felt no arousal or pleasure. Instead, an explosion of poison poured through his system so powerful it caused bile to churn and rise.Jimin slid the palms of his hands very slowly against his chest. “The way I feel when you and I are together is absolutely beautiful. Now I know, it’s that way for you, too.”Jungkook caught his hands and lifted them promptly away. “No, Jimin.”Finally—finally—the voice that had resounded in his heart all along found its way into his head, and his soul. “No, it’s not, and this can’t, this won’t, happen between us again. I’m married, and I just made an enormous mistake.”Jimin blinked slowly; the fire in his eyes snapped and crackled.“I’m to blame, and for that I apologize, but I won’t step away from my husband and my vows to him, ever again. This was wrong for me, Jimin. Completely wrong.”His features hardened slightly, going intense. “Whether you’re ready to face the truth right now or not, you feel the same way about me.” Jimin gathered a deep breath and then blew out through pursed lips. “Despite that, you’ll deny yourself by walking away from me?”“Jimin—” Jungkook fumbled internally, trying to properly form his emotions into words. “Jimin, it’s not denial. It’s that I’m being forced to discover who I am again. Who I am, and who I’m supposed to be. Who I want to be.”He nearly reached out to the omega, only intending to cushion what he was about to say, but he denied the gesture. A formidable, Love-driven strength sang through him now—but at what cost, he wondered? How would he overcome what he had allowed to happen?“I’m so sorry for what I did.”“Don’t fall on the sword all by yourself, Jungkook.” Anger laced his words. “I was there, too. The harlot, I suppose.”“You’re not a harlot. You were confused. So was I.”“I still am.”Jungkook discovered that in no way was he enamored by Jimin any longer. Like the lifting of a distorting bank of clouds, Jimin’s hold over him vanished. The kiss had awakened him to the evil of errant desire, and he found himself thinking about Priest Hyungsik’s words at Shawol just a few weeks back:Don’t be too harsh on yourself as you’re nothing but a puppet in Fate’s hands. Just keep your faith. Sometimes experiencing the harrowing results of deepest sin will drive us back to our beliefs in ways so powerful it’s nothing short of a miracle.Never, ever again could he rebuke Taehyung, and his marriage. He’d make it up to his husband for the rest of his life and pray that he might never know how wrong, how idiotic, he had been.
What you do in the darkness will be revealed in the light. You can’t run from your deeds.
Jungkook absorbed the forceful words of warning and blanched at what they might mean.No, he prayed in fervor to the Moon, Taehyung can’t ever know about this. It was only a kiss—and I swear that it’s over. I’ve truly and honestly learned my lesson. Only you know how much I love Taehyung...that without question, in my heart… my heart resides only Taehyung…and no one else...Jungkook would atone. He would atone to Taehyung, and to the Moon, by never straying again. He’d talk to Seojoon and make sure of his discretion. Seojoon was grateful for this opportunity after all, so the man owed Jungkook for a nice bump in his career. And Jungkook didn’t believe Jimin would betray him if he stepped away. At this point, they could leave the episode behind—bruised but still whole.Though his mind spun with millions of ways that plan could fail, Jungkook promised himself he’d do everything in his power to shield Taehyung, and their marriage, from his own folly.
Darkness is defeated by the light, Jungkook.
The words that sang through his soul felt more ominous than comforting.Following a lengthy silence, Jimin shifted his weight, and his eyes pleaded. “I know it’s easier to stay married than go through the mess of a separation, or a divorce, but avoiding me isn’t going to make you happy. Neither is living life out of a sense of obligation to vows that have grown stale. Isn’t that much obvious?”Guilt, shame, and sorrow worked as one to sting his senses, because Jimin’s analysis couldn’t have been more erroneous. Jungkook wasn’t with Taehyung out of obligation or due to vows gone stale. Jimin was also wrong about avoidance.Avoiding him now is all Jungkook wanted to do—but at what cost?Jungkook’s head rang with the words of morality, and he couldn’t recall ever being as scared as he was right now—terrified of losing everything that was most precious to him.Seeming to sense that their privacy was limited, Jimin stepped even further away, but he kept his gaze trained on Jungkook. “Find yourself, Jungkook. Find the place where your love lives. Maybe it’s me.” He glanced at Jungkook’s ring finger. “Maybe it’s him. Until you figure that out, I can’t keep acting like this is just work. It’s much...much more for me. I’m ready, and willing, to let you deep into my life. I’m halfway there already, but it’s not real. It’s nothing more than superficial. I don’t want to get hurt, and I don’t want you hurt, either.”Jungkook couldn’t speak. He couldn’t reason, and he couldn’t bring himself to confront the full ramifications of what had just happened. Nothing but fragments clicked into place—unfaithfulness...Taehyung.
Betrayal.
Taehyung.
Perfidy.
Taehyung. The words kept echoing in his dead like a drum out of tune.Banging in his head.Jimin turned and exited the studio. Jungkook was sick to the core, to a degree that gnawed at his heart and ate away at his psyche like battery acid. He closed his eyes and found he had to draw a breath.Desperately.When he did, he came upon the subtle undercurrent of Jimin’s real scent—jasmine and ginger.What had he been thinking?What had happened to transform him from the man he wanted, and needed, to be?What had happened to the man, and husband, he had been before meeting Jimin?Jungkook curled his hands into fists, trying to keep steady and controlled.
This was not the pathway for you. The way you chose was not the way I wanted you to walk on, Jungkook. Come back to light.
The words fell through him, full of authority and weighted by a warning that stirred chills along his nerve endings, but one thing remained certain. The kiss he had shared with Jimin, and the firm admonishment, had turned Jungkook completely around. He had rediscovered himself. The image of Taehyung’s angelic face swirled into place behind his closed eyelids.
Moon…please forgive me. Please…please forgive me for I have sinned.
!!~~~~!!
Taehyung’s three inch heel caught in a crack of the sidewalk leading into the Renaissance Hotel. He wobbled and a brief stab of discomfort surged upward from his ankle. He groaned at his own vain stupidity. The heeled shoes he selected might be great looking, and leg flattering, but that didn’t change facts. They were also brutal instruments of torture.At the moment he stumbled, he felt Jungkook tuck his hand beneath his elbow, lending steady support. He blew out a breath as a smile appeared on his face automatically. A flush flowed outward from his heart, blossoming against his neck and cheeks.“Sorry,” he murmured. “I made a really stupid shoe choice, didn’t I?”A smile spread, starting in Jungkook’s eyes, deepening the small, appealing crinkles that fanned out from their corners. “That’s OK. It gives me an extra excuse to watch out for you. You look beautiful, as always love.”“Thank you, Hase.” Taehyung absorbed the intimacy he found in that heated gaze. Jungkook’s attention lingered on him as they walked through the hotel lobby, expressive in a way that gave Taehyung a rush of unperturbed pleasure.Soon after entering the Music City Ballroom, though, Jungkook became focused on the crowd of clients and colleagues who began to press in around them and offer greetings.Associated Talent was celebrating its quarter century mark with a cocktail hour followed by a sit-down dinner. Since the focus zeroed in on Jungkook, Taehyung was content to stand at his side and enjoy watching him.Taehyung took hold of his arm and slid his hand downward until their fingers laced and went snug. Jungkook wore a dark suit with a pop of color that came from his burgundy tie and matching pocket swatch.It was his eyes that captivated Taehyung, though.Always had.Presently they sparkled golden with a mix of burgundy holding all the warmth in the world and the pleasure he found in being with people. His charisma was a powerful force because it stemmed from a point of sincerity that naturally drew people in.As one of the newest members of the Associated Talents family, Park Jimin would be in attendance at tonight’s event, and Taehyung expected to meet the omega for the first time.He owned up to being curious about the newest talk of the company. Also, while he and Jungkook moved deeper into the banquet room, Taehyung regarded his high-heeled shoes with the rueful thought that he had deliberately dressed to impress and had taken great pains with his appearance tonight. His hair was styled in a wavy tumble of curls. He reached up to adjust frilled neckline of his white collared shirt that was beneath the gem beaded black tuxedo. He had purchased the dress a few weeks back, when the party invitation arrived, drawn by its gemstone embellishment—tiny, sparkling crystals that felt like stars. Yes—he was definitely aiming for the confident look.Jungkook continued to make the rounds, and eventually Taehyung broke away, taking up conversations with some people he knew from Associated Talent. Jungkook returned to his side a short time later to deliver a ginger ale and chat with Taehyung’s group for a few minutes.The drink was chilly, sweet, and deeply appreciated. While he sipped, Taehyung smiled a secretive, private smile.The matter of pregnancy loomed larger and larger on the horizon, and Taehyung knew his evasion of the topic needed to end. The signs were becoming irrefutable.Each morning, and now even during the early hours of the afternoon, a dizzy-hot sickness would overwhelm him. The lack of two elusive heat cycle continued, and so did a growing, all-over sense of being drained and exhausted. He could almost feel his body expending every ounce of energy on the process of creation and sustaining not just one life, but two.The more time that passed, the more his fears about being pregnant evaporated. He finally allowed himself to embrace the truth his body telegraphed in the slight thickening of his waist, the added fullness of his belly, slight soreness around his nipples. Irrational, perhaps, but he still refused to confirm his condition with a pregnancy test. Instead, he had scheduled an appointment with his doctor for Monday morning, and he prayed fervently about the outcome.Confirmation would be the answer to so many longings…Bursting on the inside, Taehyung sipped his drink again, absorbing the burst of spice against his tongue. He slid a glance toward Jungkook, wishing he could tell the Alpha the news—but no way would he do that until after Monday’s doctor appointment offered verification. Tonight he intended to relax and enjoy a lovely episode of mixing and mingling as he caught up with a few of his friends and Jungkook’s colleagues.After a dinner of broiled salmon, fluffy wild rice and fresh fruit, Taehyung excused himself from the table to pay a visit to the restroom.Standing at one of the empty marble pedestal sinks, Taehyung opened his evening clutch and pulled out a tube of lipstick along with a setting spray. He started to re-fluff his already wavy hair with the misty spray.A set of doors separating a sitting area from the bathroom stalls swung open and in strode two faces he didn’t recognize. They both offered him a polite nod. Taehyung smiled and finished with his hair. Despite the press of bodies and humid warmth, it had held up pretty well.The new arrivals lined up next to Taehyung and began to primp as well.“I love these parties.” The male one, who was closest to Taehyung offered that verdict to his friend while he brushed on some face powder. His cheeks were a bit too red, and he propped a hip against the sink, as though wanting to steady himself.Taehyung wondered if they hadn’t perhaps indulged in a bit too much alcohol.“They’re always so rife with drama and gossip.” He continued.The female friend perked up, arching a brow while she styled her hair. “Oh? What have I missed?”“Seojoon just introduced me to that new singer he’s producing for. Park Jimin, he said the name.”Taehyung uncapped his lipstick, but froze for an awkward second or two when the conversation turned to Jimin. He had not been formally introduced to the man yet, but he had watched the artist from a distance during the course of the night.“Oh...yeah…I know the boy you mean. What a knock-out. Damn...he’s going to be a mega star.”Taehyung grabbed hold of enough grace to keep from sinking on the inside. Knock-out and mega star were appropriate terms. Statuesque, brimming with confidence, Jimin presented a polished image. He was decked out in an appealing dark blue satin dress shirt that pulled every eye to his pale chest yet he was modestly covered, the black denims emphasized on his perfectly shaped thighs, a perfect figure for an omega that was going to go on billboards.“No doubt. Seojoon’s really excited to be working with him, for sure, but man did he have some scoop!”“He better be careful about scoop mongering—he’s just entered the big leagues. He’s so lucky to be producing at Summit.”“No doubt—but I know I can tell you.”“Of course!”They laughed...a little too loud. “Well, it’s like I said, non-stop drama. Apparently Jimin is getting way too friendly with his agent.”Taehyung froze.What? He clung to the edge of the sink and squeezed hard. Obviously these two had no idea they were standing next to the husband of said agent. They continued to freshen up and never even looked his way.“What makes him say that?” The female said, oblivious to Taehyung’s unease a few feet away.“Seojoon normally don’t gossip but this is like blitz...”“What is?” The male sounded curious and excited.“He saw them together! He actually caught them—kissing in the studio.”Taehyung’s neighbor turned fully toward his friend, apparently enjoying the moment of revelation. “He said it was pretty steamy, too. Kicker is Seojoon tells me the alpha is married! And devoted!”“Wow.” The man besides Taehyung blew a low whistle.More giggles followed as they disappeared behind stall doors. Taehyung’s world rocked back and forth—then back and forth again. He kept carefully still, trying to right his equilibrium, but it was no use. Meanwhile, the two twenty-somethings continued chatting. Taehyung thought they both were pretty new in the company if they didn’t know him.But was it good that they didn’t know him? Or was it wrose?“Yeah, amazing, huh? I mean, can you believe that? Getting caught in the act?”Taehyung sagged against the wall to his left. Cool ceramic tile chilled his backbone though he was clad in three layers. He swallowed hard. His head felt heavy as a boulder, and his chest had gone way too tight. He hitched a gulp of air that did nothing to nourish his lungs.“Clandestine trysts aside, the one I feel sorry for is his omega. I wonder if they are with him tonight. Seriously, poor little thing.”“Yeah—I mean, once a cheater, always a cheater, you know?”Taehyung heard a tongue cluck and sigh from inside the second stall.“I’ll have to notice who they are when we get back to the party.” The female cluck her tongue.The enthusiasm of these two gossipers threw Taehyung over the edge of reason. He covered his mouth with a shaky hand, pressing his fingertips against his lips to keep from screaming. Silence and a couple of flushes passed by. The two of them washed and nodded once more to Taehyung, not detecting the discomfort oozing out him in flames whatsoever as they left. !!~~~~!!
Yeah—I mean, once a cheater, always a cheater, you know?
The voice echoed in Taehyung’s head on repeat.Feeling ambushed, Taehyung wished he could tumble out of this hideous nightmare, grab Jungkook, and run away. His legs refused to budge. Suddenly, they were the consistency of hardened cement.All at once, his stomach rolled violently and clenched, beginning a severe rebellion against the fish dinner he had consumed. He dashed into the nearest stall, thanking God for the small mercy of a now empty facility. He slammed the door closed, locked it and crumpled, dropping to his knees the instant before his stomach emptied.Agony swept through him, escaping on a weak, broken groan.Being completely honest with himself, Taehyung had to admit: he had known something was wrong all along. He had known since that dinner at his parents’ house.Jungkook.Jimin.A kiss.Perhaps even more.His husband.The man who held his heart in his hands, who knew its every dip and curve and had sworn, before Gods, to love and honor him forever and always…A cheater.Betrayer.The heaves that followed went dry and only served to jolt his body, sending his head into an explosion of intense, pounding pain. He needed aspirin, immediately.Taehyung rose on trembling legs and exited the stall, stumbling to the closest sink. He dry-swallowed a pair of aspirin caplets and did his best to clean up, wishing like crazy he could splash cold water across his face—anything to cool the oncoming fever he felt. That wouldn’t do, of course.For now, he had no choice but to choke everything back and put on a brave—utterly false front. He had no choice but to somehow deal with the world that lurked beyond the doors of the bathroom.As a fool.
The love we behold with our faithfulness surpasses all understanding and destroys all boundaries...all limitations
On one level, the affirmation of those words lit his soul and helped him remain tethered to reality.On another, he raged.Oh, yeah? He wanted to scream. How? Prove it! Take me out of this nightmare! Lift me away and make this sinking feeling go away! How could this possibly happen? Please, I beg of you, Lord, please don’t let this be real.He straightened and made the mistake of looking at his reflection in the mirror. He nearly lost it all over again. His skin was splotchy; his eyes were way too bright and tinged by red.Hurried and scrambling, he brushed at the lines in his soiled makeup to blend it back into place; he swiped his fingertips beneath his lashes to eliminate the runny traces of black mascara.One labored step, then another…and another.He pushed himself to keep moving, shoving open the door of the restroom to rejoin what now felt like an over-loud, over-done gathering of people with only one goal in mind: ego, fame, power-mongering and monetary gain at the expense of everything else.At the expense of someone’s happiness.The glitter-drenched world Jungkook inhabited suddenly felt like the threshold of darkness and evil and held within its grip the worst form of heartbreak he could possibly imagine. !!~~~~!! Where was Taehyung?Jungkook scanned the room, missing the natural fit of him at his side. Intending to reconnect as soon as he grabbed some dessert, he paused at the buffet line, in front of a gurgling fountain of waving chocolate.Nice thing was that Taehyung had always been comfortable mixing with the people at Associated Talent. The omega befriended people easily, and Jungkook was so proud of his husband.Jungkook was grateful to return to even footing in their relationship. Tomorrow would be a restful Sunday wherein he could attend Sawon services then spend an entire day in peaceful quiet with Taehyung.One of the worst mistakes he could have ever made had transformed into a means by which to change, and reassert the best parts of his soul.He lifted a bone China plate and plucked a foursome of strawberries from the towering display. One-by-one he coated the fruit chunks with chocolate, intending to offer a few to Taehyung.The idea left him to smile; he knew Taehyung would love the treat.The idea of sampling one of the morsels prompted him to coat an additional berry and pop it into his mouth right away. Jungkook savored the bittersweet flavors.“So, here’s something I never knew about Jeon Jungkook. He’s a bit of a slob.”Jungkook flinched at the sound of Jimin’s light, teasing voice, but he turned politely, giving the omega an inquiring look.Jimin moved close enough to stroke a fingertip against his chin, right beneath his lower lip. Apparently, a droplet of chocolate had ended up decorating a spot just beneath his mouth. The ease of Jimin’s gesture caused alarm bells to ring. Before Jungkook could react, Jimin swiped the droplet away.His gaze remained steady and probing as he licked the droplet from his index.Jungkook moved away by two generous steps. “Jimin, don’t.”In deference to their surroundings, the command came out soft and discreet, but no less emphatic.Jimin turned away as well, to swirl a pair of fresh berries beneath the chocolate fountain and settle them on the plate he held for himself. Seeing him, being in his company, filled Jungkook with steel-strength resolution.An instant later, the Alpha made a decision that would lead him even farther from Jimin. Jo Beomgyu could assign someone else to handle his career development from now on. Jungkook would make it official as soon as possible, but in a more appropriate setting.A slice of precious, scripture-based encouragement came alive in his mind from a book his mother read to him in childhood.
Submit yourself to love. Resist the temptation, and it will flee from you.
“What does your schedule look like on Monday?” Jungkook asked.“I’m open.”“Let’s plan to meet in the morning. Nine-thirty or ten o’clock would be good—my office. We need to talk.”Jimin’s gaze tagged Jungkook, his eyes soft and expectant.Jungkook shook his head. “Nothing has changed, Jimin. The meeting is about your career, and where it needs to go. Nothing more.”Jimin gave him a speculative look and tossed his head to shake a wave of shimmering jet hair across his face. “I’ll be there.”Jungkook gestured toward a nearby group of AT executives Jimin needed to meet. Introductions would also bring about separation. “I want to find Taehyung, but first let me introduce you to—”“Jungkook?”From behind, Taehyung’s summons stopped him in his tracks. He turned, smiling at the sound of his husband’s calming voice—but then he got a good look at him.His smile froze on his lips and his pulse started to thunder and push.Taehyung was pale. Although he hid it well, he trembled.Jungkook quickly set the plate of fruit aside. “Taehyung?” Alarm skyrocketed once he crossed to him. He knew something was wrong with the omega. He was trembling and blanched as soon as Jungkook came near.“I need to leave,” Taehyung whispered so slow that if Jungkook was not looking at his lips moving he wouldn’t have heard the words leaving his mouth. Then he added slowly, “Now.”Jungkook took hold of his arm, because Taehyung looked as though he were about to collapse. He nodded his understanding and slipped an arm around his waist.Taehyung went taut and unyielding against his touch. Jungkook had no idea what to make of that reaction.Jimin stepped up just as Jungkook made the first step toward leading Taehyung away; his client was openly curious. “You must be Jeon Taehyung. I’ve been looking forward to meeting you.” Jimin smiled and extended his hand, likely unaware of Taehyung’s quiet and desperate plea to leave the party.Jungkook cringed when Taehyung’s complexion faded further, if such a thing were even possible.What had happened?He watched Taehyung paste on a smile and accept the gesture of Jimin’s extended hand. “You must be Park Jimin. I’ve heard a lot about you. Welcome to Associated Talent.”Quickly, with a sense of desperation Jungkook alone could sense, Taehyung looked into his eyes. “I’m sorry to seem rude, but I’m not feeling well, and I really need to leave.”“Let’s call it a night.” Jungkook addressed Jimin in a businesslike manner. “I’ll see you Monday morning.” !!~~~~!! “Taehyung—please talk to me.”Jungkook’s gently spoken request settled between them.Taehyung propped his head against the leather seat of their car and closed his eyes shutting the world out of his view. “Jungkook, just get me home. I don’t want to talk. Not right now. I’m sick and I need to get my feet back under me. Somehow.”The last word faded. He took in a deep, shaky breath.Flashes of street light revealed his salient features from time to time, and Jungkook grew increasingly concerned.Taehyung was shutting down and completely remote. Were those tear-tracks that cut a glimmering path down his cheeks?It cost every cent of his restraint, but Jungkook respected the request for silence and distance. The last thing Taehyung needed right now was pressure—no matter how well intended.Taehyung kept his eyes closed, but Jungkook longed to offer him comfort. More confused than ever, Jungkook sped home. He reached for Taehyung’s hand only to discover it was ice cold.And Taehyung promptly pulled away. !!~~~~!!!!~~~~!!
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Taehyung stared out the windshield of his parked car, looking at the medical office building through an onslaught of rain. He swallowed back terror. He choked back dizziness and nausea trying to carefully and deliberately even out his breathing, hoping to fight off an onset of sickness that sent searing heat through his veins and left his ears to ring.This is it, he thought. I already know what’s coming, and yet all of this seems surreal to me now. Unfathomable.Then there was the thick, heavy downpour. Naturally, it would rain in an unforgiving deluge. How fitting, he thought, that this oppressive cascade would pour down on what should have been one of the happiest days of his life.And Jungkook’s.The coming moments should have been the culmination of everything beautiful and precious between them.Some would look at the rain as a approval or a blessing of sorts. Taehyung shook his head. No. Not this time. Instead, buckets of water crashed down in laden sheets that only served to distort his view and color his world a deep, depressing shade of gray.Sunday had stretched out with long, unforgiving arms, yet somehow Taehyung had survived.Numbness had coated his spirit all day, an anesthetic that helped him shut down and exist, but not cope. Every time he tried to push through the fog of shock, pain exploded through his body.He had no idea what to do about Jungkook’s infidelity. He had no ability to grasp it and figure out what to do next. He was grateful that physical illness had delivered an excuse to simply lie in bed and gain much needed latitude—and space—from his husband.Jungkook didn’t question his listless behavior or his request for solitude. That wasn’t going to last long, though.His only thought, his heart’s sole emphasis, remained fixed on this moment alone.Releasing a strangled moan, Taehyung clutched the steering wheel but went otherwise weak. His shoulders sagged beneath an enormous, invisible weight. He dipped his head until it rested upon the padded leather surface of the steering wheel.The chain of his necklace bumped against his chin and tears fell down his cheeks. Coming aware, he gulped and gave a hiccupping sigh, fingering the gold chain that was so familiar to him, worrying its pendant—the piece he always wore because it was so precious to him.Taehyung held it tight in his palm, squeezing the crest until, once he pulled his hand away, its imprint remained upon his palm.“Oh Moon,” he beseeched in a whisper that filled the empty car, “please. I beg you, please. I’m not in denial. I’m not unaware of all the signs my body is sending me. What’s about to be confirmed, though—I won’t survive it on my own. It’ll take a miracle to make everything right. It’ll take everything in my being and your blessings and nothing less. Please help me. Please.”The sleek, black face of his Movado watch caught his eye. It was time. Further delay would make him late for the appointment. A thundering pulse increased. He opened the door, extended a compact umbrella and stepped outside. His legs wobbled. His ears started to ring even louder, and he tried once more to regulate his breathing and rapidly heart rate.No dice.Right now, the inevitable called. !!~~~~!! Doctor Lee Jieun took Taehyung by the hand. Wearing a smile, and the standard issue white jacket and stethoscope, she assisted Taehyung from a prone position on the metal examination table until he sat up, perched now at the end, his bare feet dangling.“Congratulations!” Doctor Lee said kindly. “I’m so happy for you, Taehyung. You’re two and a half months along.”What followed bypassed any sense of full consciousness and instead became nothing more than a swirl of images: a prescription slip for vitamins, words about maintaining a healthy diet and exercise regimen, prompts to set up additional appointments.Through it all, Taehyung felt flushed and hot. He trembled, not because he was dressed only in a lightweight cotton shirt and brown pants. His breathing went shallow, and he felt an ominous blood rush that left him close to hyperventilation. His body coped with an onslaught of stress and fear, and a now familiar roil of conflicting emotions about the state of his current life.The red stains he felt spreading on his cheeks, and shoulders, the shudders he couldn’t fight, gave him away to his physician.Dr. Lee eyed him. “Taehyung, are you OK?”“No…ah…I mean yeah…of course…I…” Taehyung released a breath he had held in too long while trying to come to grips. It came out sounding like a gasp.“No, you’re not. And your blood pressure was high when you checked in—but I figured that was an anomaly due to nerves. I know what you’ve gone through, and how much this means to you and Jungkook.”Dr. Lee pulled a paper cup from the dispenser positioned above a small metal sink. She filled it with water and handed it over. Taehyung struggled to stay upright and cognizant. He sipped the water, which was tepid, and not altogether soothing, but it gave him a diversion. Precious seconds to march forward into what was now a revised version of his life.“You’re not as excited about the news as I thought you’d be,” Dr. Lee observed gently.“I…yeah I am…I just…I need to adjust, that’s all.” Taehyung tried for a smile, but it wavered. “This is huge, for me and for Jungkook.”As though somewhat assured, Dr. Lee patted Taehyung’s shoulder. “Well, it’s not huge yet, but it will be by the end of nine months.” Taehyung’s answering laugh was false, but Dr. Lee didn’t seem to notice. “See you in a month, and if you have any issues or any questions at all before the next appointment, don’t hesitate to call in and ask. That’s what we’re here for., right.”Her tone was caring and kind, but all Taehyung felt like was curling back in a ball and roll in some corner and cry for the rest of his days.Taehyung ignored the words. He knew just one thing: he had to leave. He needed to leave. Suddenly he felt claustrophobic. He had to find his way outside, and then to a place where he could rest in silence and cry.
Maybe this is your plan all along Moon. But you know what I’m up against. You know my heart. And Jungkook’s. I told you before I even walked in the door that I can’t handle this. I can’t survive this—not on my strength alone, and not the way things are right now. Help me!
An intense urge all but overwhelmed him. He had to get to KKOF Foundation Sawon as soon as possible. The need hit with such force that it could not—and would not—be denied. There he would try to find his way into some semblance of sanctuary, and God’s presence, before he confronted Jungkook.About everything. !!~~~~!! “Jungkook, what are you getting at? If the case is closed, and you’re turning my career management over to someone else, what more do we have to discuss?”Since it looked like Jimin was about to bolt from his office, Jungkook stood and circled his desk. Before he dropped into the chair next to Jimin’s, he turned the piece of furniture so they could be eye to eye.“I want to apologize.” Jungkook started and Jimin bristled, but the Alpha didn’t let that reaction dissuade him. “I’m trying very hard to get back to where I was—to who I used to be. In order to do that, I need to apologize to you for what happened.”Jimin blinked. Jungkook saw the omega draw a deep breath.“Meaning us.”Jungkook pushed away his shame. “Yes, there was no us. And the kiss, and everything that led up to it. It was wrong on my part to move forward the way we did.”“I said it at the time, Jungkook—you were hardly alone in that.”Jungkook paused to ingest his sharp reply, giving him a pointed opportunity to do the same. Did Jimin even realize the deeper meaning of what he had just said? Could he see the truth in it and make changes of his own? Just like the breakdown in Jungkook’s marriage, the relationship with Jimin needed to be confronted, and then absolved—for the sake of everyone involved. They needed to learn from their mistakes.“You’re beautiful and talented, Jimin. You possess an amazing talent. Don’t let outside forces block you from what’s good in this life. What’s right and true.”“I think I know where you’re going with this, Jungkook.” Jimin shifted, seeming uncomfortable.“Do you?”“Yes. God. Jungkook I get it. Its again about all those fated mates and bonds and all that things you believe in. You’re re-finding your roots. Great. Congratulations. I won’t get in the way of that. If it’s over, it’s over. You may think my behavior doesn’t show it, but I’m not a bad person.” His grip went tight on the armrest of the chair as he crossed his legs nervously. “I won’t apologize, though, Jungkook. Life is about embracing experiences with no regrets and no asking ‘what if.’ I couldn’t help but pursue what I felt for you.”That method of thinking alarmed Jungkook. “Jimin, there never was anything from the start Jimin. I was wrong to make you believe there something ever was...please don’t live your life that way. Your career is going to take you far and wide. You’re going to come up against many people and circumstances in your life that will hurt you if you embrace a life based on pleasure-seeking instead of what’s best for your overall well-being.”“That’s a pretty lofty ideal, Jungkook, and I’m merely a saint...I'm just a human. Furthermore, so are you.”Shame washed over him, but Jungkook couldn’t relent. Jimin’s posture went rigid.Jungkook answered the omega’s tense reply by remaining as calm and gentle as possible. “I know. I’m speaking from experience. If any amount of good can come from the mistakes I’ve made, maybe this is part of it. Don’t play footsies with the devil. You won’t make it out alive.”“It hurts that you think of me as a mistake.”Jungkook shook his head. “No, Jimin, you’re not a mistake—the places we took this relationship...which was supposed to be professional treaded to the boundaries forbidden for anyone of us... were a mistake. My entire world spun out of orbit when I was around you—and that’s because of me—and what I allowed myself to become. It wasn’t right, and it didn’t just hurt me, it demeaned my love for my husband, and the commitment we made to one another.”“Well, you won’t have to worry about me interfering with that. You want me out of your life, fine. You’ve got your wish. I understand why you don’t want to be my agent any longer, too. It all makes sense to me. I’m an adult, and I’ll behave like one, but I still don’t understand why you’re saying and doing all this.”“Because turning your career over to Beomgyu, so he can reassign your management, is only part of what I know I need to do. Taehyung is my mission now. My marriage is my mission. But I know I’ve hurt you. That was never my intent, but I should have recognized—and respected—the danger you and I were falling into.” Jungkook gave Jimin’s little hand a final squeeze and looked deep into his turbulent, glittering eyes.The allure of deep violet did nothing to Jungkook now. The faultless presentation of upswept hair, a simple white blouse and black pants, made no impact at all.“I want you to promise me something.”“What?” His voice carried softly, and the brimming tears fell.“Don’t ever let anyone do to you what I did. You deserve much more.” !!~~~~!! The instant Jimin closed the door of his office Jungkook’s heart flew free, trailing ribbons of exquisite relief. Every ounce of temptation Jimin presented had evaporated. Jungkook was finished walking that tightrope across a very deep canyon in his life. He had danced willingly into a shade of gray, even as it sent him down the wrong path…but he was finished.Once again, he thought of his husband, his beautiful Taehyung. Thoughts of the omega led him to focus on a brass-framed photograph positioned on the right corner of his desk.Jungkook picked it up and studied the image. It was, by far, his favorite shot of his husband. Taken on a beach in Hawaii about two years ago, the picture captured the very essence of his spirit.Generally Taehyung was quiet, almost shy, but captivating—and so very sweet.Jungkook savored the photograph—his sparkling green eyes, his auburn hair that waved around his face and, in this shot, was lifted in a soft trade wind. Taehyung wore a blue Hawaiian shirt and white shorts. In the photo, he looked at Jungkook over his shoulder with playful spunk and a degree of love in his eyes that left Jungkook humbled and in awe.They had celebrated their fifth anniversary by island hopping. The Hawaii trip marked the high-end of what was a joyful ride for their marriage. Those few short years ago, they had been at the pinnacle of their lives—blissfully and sincerely happy.Jungkook saw, clearly now, that time had worked its way with them. It wasn’t the big stuff that had led him to the ultimate danger point with Jimin. It was a numbing compilation of their daily routine, a shifting of passion from electricity to the ordinary.An unanswered effort toward building a family didn’t help matters any. Neither did non-stop busyness meant to fill the hours, and their lives, with meaning.Their life trajectory shifted gravely to the routine of work, home and boredom. And how they both were busy with their work and life—Taehyung with his charity and Jungkook with his new clientele.But...now...
I love Taehyung. I love him completely. He’s the only owner of my heart. How did we grow apart? Why did we let ourselves become so methodical in our approach to one another? It wasn’t always that way. Not at all.
Jungkook set aside the photograph and acknowledged part of the problem. He had strayed from his love. Taehyung had stayed devout and active in his faith life, but with an all-consuming drive that claimed their time together, and made it easy for him to drift and focus his energies elsewhere.They needed to work on those issues.Together.Next, Jungkook wrestled with the idea of telling his husband about Jimin. Taehyung was an innocent. He didn’t deserve the pain Jungkook would inflict by confessing. And Jungkook hadn’t made love to Jimin—he had kissed him, once, and tasted ruination.Jungkook had promptly and sincerely changed after that terrible slip and never, ever would he be swept away by any other.Hiding from Taehyung would be wrong, though. Jungkook knew that—but he couldn’t stomach the idea of looking into his soulful eyes and shattering the love and trust they had always shared.No. Nonono.Jungkook couldn’t do it—but on the other hand, how else could he live with himself? How could he ever be completely honest with his love for his husband? Yes, the truth would hurt them both, but from there, they could rebuild.Jungkook was determined to reclaim his heart, and Taehyung alone knew its every contour. He would spend a lifetime assuring Taehyung of his love.But would Taehyung ever be able to forgive him? Would the omega ever be able to trust him again if Jungkook found the strength, and ability, to come clean and unburden his soul?Nope—he just couldn’t do it…But…if he didn’t…
What you do in the darkness is revealed in the light. Hold on to the reins of truth and all will be right.
The words came to him, a memory stroke that carried the fortifying touch of the spirit. This time, he took the hint.Jungkook shoved back from his desk and stood. He looked at his watch and calculated his schedule. He had a couple of hours to spare before a conference call with AT headquarters in Itaewon.Right now, all he could focus on was the need to fall back into faith. He needed grace-filled forgiveness and God’s guidance so desperately he shook.Jungkook grabbed his coat, intending to get to KKOF Foundation Sawon.Immediately. !!~~~~!! The Sawon sang to Taehyung in a holy silence that wrapped around him like a welcome embrace. He knelt to pray, heedless of the fact that there were no others in the pews of holy sanctum. The hard tile floor felt good beneath his knees, and somehow grounding.“Moon, what did I do wrong? We didn’t argue. We didn’t fight. We moved forward together in our holy marriage. Why did he leave it behind? How was that even possible for him? How did I fail him? And You?”He sobbed openly, speaking the words aloud, heedless of being overheard. The space was empty anyhow. He laid his head on his folded hands trying desperately to bring himself to a new understanding of his life.
‘Your faith is the key to your happiness.’
The words Priest Hyungsik said on their union four years ago resounded through the entirety of his being. The decree swept through him with such power he went straight, tears drying on his cheeks as he blinked, and assimilated. Had he not already been on his knees, the summons would have knocked him there like the weakened heap of sadness he had become.Taehyung pondered. Go forward? In peace? How was he supposed to accomplish that? In prompt, near supernatural response, he received the answer.
‘You are the creator of your own world.’
He bowed his head, drained and empty, submitting himself as best he could. Just then, the sound of footsteps echoed down the main aisle.“Taehyung?” The call jarred him. He whipped his head around and gasped at what he saw.Jungkook.Jungkook?Did he simply think his name, or had he spoken it aloud? Stunned and overwrought, Taehyung scrambled to his feet. In an untidy spin, he faced his husband. Just as quickly, he went weak, sinking onto the pew just a second or two after standing. He didn’t need a mirror to tell him that his kohl was smeared and his hair was a mess. He knew by the heat in his cheeks that his face was flushed; his eyes were probably red from crying.Jungkook’s alarmed expression confirmed every one of his suspicions. “Taehyung, are you OK? Please talk to me. This is driving me crazy. What’s happened to you, swan?”Swan.The use of that endearment caused his stomach to churn. Anger rose and obliterated everything else. “Don’t.”Jungkook’s confusion intensified.“I mean it, Jungkook. Do not call me that again. Not ever again!” He bit off the words; their bitter taste filled his mouth.Jungkook reared back at the intensity of aloofness in his husband’s voice. Although he hesitated for a moment, he eased into the pew next to his mate. A mask of sorts, protective and inscrutable, now shaded his eyes.He didn’t speak. He waited on Taehyung, keeping to his corner of the pew. Taehyung simmered and seethed. Just as quickly, though, the anger fled, washed away by a wave of sadness that stretched clear through to every cell in his body.“This moment is killing me, Jungkook, on so many levels. I’ve dreamed about it since the day we mated and accepted our bond, imagining it to be bursting with joy and anticipation. Instead, it’s breaking my heart.”“What moment? What happened?” Generally fearless and confident, Jungkook regarded Taehyung now in open trepidation. “I have no idea what to do to hel—”“I’ll never have another chance to say this to you for the first time,” Taehyung interjected, “or share this moment with you the way I had always envisioned. I’m pregnant, Jungkook. I’m pregnant.”A mix of emotions swept across his face. Disbelief came first, erased quickly by joy, then the most crushing visual of all: his love, intimate and rich. It had once made his feel so precious. Despite his vocal firestorm, Jungkook’s reaction was everything Taehyung had prayed for. This moment should have made his heart soar. Instead, he was shattered.“You seem shocked.” The words came out sounding waspish. Taehyung hated that fact, but couldn’t escape the rage and heartbreak. The venom inside him needed release.“I’m very happily shocked.” His response came fast, but sincere. “We’ve wanted this for so long, I’m thrilled—no wonder you’ve been feeling—”“I’m sure you’ll remember the night it happened.” Taehyung cut him off once more. “It was spontaneous and heated and wonderful. Remember? There were no thoughts of anything else but each other. Or so I had believed. But if you do the math, you’ll realize we conceived the night you met Park Jimin.” He sneered at his husband. “After all, it’s not like there’s been a ton of times that we’ve made love since then.”Jungkook went pale. Taehyung wanted to slap him across the face so hard that he’d be left marked by the strike of his hand. Why had he done it? Why hadn’t he woken from whatever delusion clouded his mind? In the end, he restrained himself. Of course, he couldn’t lash out. They were in a holy place, after all. A Sawon out of all. A sanctuary for everyone.Even Jungkook. Even him.“Oh—God—”Jungkook had obviously connected the dots. The exclamation that crossed his lips wasn’t a curse; it was a plea.Taehyung recognized the difference yet fought to maintain enough control to remain seated next to him. “Ironic, isn’t it, that I’d get pregnant the night you came home from Seoul Nights—and him. I gave myself to you freely, Jungkook. Like I always have. At the time, I had no idea the husband I love—the alpha I’ve loved with all my heart—had most likely been riled up by dancing sensual circles around another omega.”Jungkook gasped.Taehyung plowed ahead. “Yes, I received a rather rude shock at the AT anniversary party. A couple of the employees who were probably too tipsy for their own good discussed a kiss you shared with Jimin at the studio recently. Imagine how I felt, Jungkook. Just imagine it!”A vein at his temple began to throb. Strain tightened his mouth and furrowed brows deepened the subtle lines around his eyes. Oh, Taehyung was hitting the mark with all kinds of poisoned darts. It felt good. And positively horrifying. Wrong. Still, he couldn’t stop.“Taehyung. Please listen—““Gossip, Jungkook. Sordid gossip. That’s what you and I have been reduced to. That’s what our marriage has been reduced to. I feel so much anger, and shame—at you, and at myself—that I can’t even begin to think straight. You’re looking at this pregnancy as a beginning. It’s not. To me, it marks the end. And I honestly don’t know how to handle that fact. I’m sick to the depths of my soul. That’s my truth—no matter what yours and Jimin’s might happen to be.”“Taehyung.” Jungkook sucked in a breath and looked away. When his gaze tagged the omega again, an ocean of sorrow bathed his deep brown eyes. “There is no me and Jimin!”“Yes, there is, Jungkook, and I can’t even begin to figure out how to deal with it.” His pained expression rolled off the armor he had erected. “Were we that bad off? I knew we needed to refocus, and spend more time together, but I had no idea I hadn’t fulfilled your life. I had no idea you had fallen out of love with me.”“I haven’t fallen out of love with you whatsoever.” A silence ensued that was hot and thick. “Believe me when I say that.”“Oh! I wish I could.”
Love? Right now, that love was burning his soul into the depths hell’s inferno. That hell fire would hold Taehyung soothing than then this sickening feeling of love for Jungkook.
Love, Taehyung discovered, possessed the sharpest of stings—stings of pain that came with no type of antidote. “I can’t. I can’t, and I won’t, believe anything you say to me right now. You’ve been caught. That’s all your remorse is about. And, not to be cliché and all, but your actions speak much louder than your words.”Taehyung broke down all over again. He cried, but he was doing this. More miraculous, he was surviving this. He was actually discussing Jungkook—his beloved—in the context of a relationship with another omega.At the same time, he felt invisible force propping him up and heard sure, steady words:
Make peace, Taehyung. Go still and listen.
Taehyung couldn’t. He beat back that piece of instruction with swinging fists, because he was nowhere near ready to make peace or listen to Jungkook’s platitudes about seeking forgiveness. Right now, he needed action, and he needed Jungkook to hurt.As much as he was hurting himself.“I’ve been sitting here asking myself why Moon would bring a child into a situation like ours.” Water swam in crooked circuits down the stained glass windows, bringing images of angels and guardians to eerie, distorted life. His eyes darted to the statue of Moon goddess lovingly embracing her lover and gazing at him with longing and love that Taehyung felt for Jungkook.“Why would SHE do that to us?” Taehyung gritted his teeth as fresh tears rolled down his cheeks. And here he thought he would act tough in front of his husband.Visually Jungkook succumbed to the same kind of all-over shock that had enveloped Taehyung’s world for the past two days. The pain in the Alpha’s eyes transformed into a glaze of paralysis that Taehyung figured was him due compensation for the betrayal Jungkook had inflicted.“Over the past few months, ever since you started working with Jimin, our relationship nose-dived. We’ve drifted and existed. I know that, and I admit I was too complacent to make changes. Still, you let him in! You found your way to someone who is…is…” Taehyung nearly gagged on the words.Rain drummed down on the roof of the Sawon in a steady cadence, like a heartbeat.A baby’s heartbeat.Taehyung gave up trying to vocalize Jimin’s attributes. Nonetheless, delineation took place in his mind via words that swirled into place and fed his destroyed sense of self—words like vibrant, gorgeous, enamored, and naturally, after all the things Jungkook had done for him—Jimin was swept away by him.Worse by far, however, Jimin fed a need in Jungkook’s heart that Taehyung obviously couldn’t. Taehyung slumped against the cool, unyielding wood of the pew. He closed his eyes and residual dampness caused his lashes to stick together.Dizziness nearly overtook him, and he wished he could fade to unconsciousness. Anything would be better than this onrush of hopelessness.“I need to move out.” The words escaped before Taehyung fully considered the idea, but the course of action turned into an escape route that grew appealing wings and lifted him to a place where he just might find a way to survive. “I’ll stay with Seokjin hyung or something—somewhere—somewhere away from...all of...this.”Words faded at the end, just like his strength, his courage, and his resolve.Taehyung loved Jungkook completely and exclusively. How could he move past that fact and create a new life without his alpha? The idea shredded him apart inside, but he’d find a way. He had no choice rendered now.Taehyung turned his head and looked at Jungkook tiredly. This was his best friend, his mate, his lover and now...a complete stranger. A lump lodged tight at the back of his throat.“We can’t work on our relationship if we’re not together, Taehyung.” Jungkook’s desperate please were falling on deaf ears.“That’s something you might have considered before finding your way into the arms of another omega. Apparently, we haven’t worked at our relationship while we were under the same roof. What’s the difference if I move out?” Taehyung looked at Jungkook through his lashes but the Alpha felt him staring into his soul.Jungkook flinched.Immune to the reaction, Taehyung ignored it. “Seemingly, I don’t know if we’re worth it, Jungkook. Not anymore. What you’ve done speaks loud and clear about what you feel for me now.” He couldn’t stand any more of this. Taehyung hiked his messenger bag strap across his shoulder, preparing to leave with as much dignity as he could muster.Jungkook rose swiftly and smoothly blocked his exit. “I can’t find a way to ask you to stay put and listen to me. There’s so much I want to say, but you won’t hear a word of it. I’m trapped. I wish I could help you see and understand that I know I’ve made the biggest mistake of my life. I know all of this in my heart, but I can’t make you see it.”The words were spoken in a tender way. Taehyung sensed his regret, but the tone held a layer of challenge as well.The omega retained just enough strength to answer him back. “Let me ask you something. Do you regret betraying our marriage, or do you regret getting caught in the act?”Jungkook’s shoulders bent and his eyes flickered when he paused and shook his head. “No matter what I say to that, you won’t believe me. No matter what I do, it’ll be wrong.”Jungkook had aged a decade in mere minutes.Lifting his chin, refusing to feel even the slightest degree of empathy, Taehyung gathered himself once again. He tried to brush past Jungkook but for a second time Jungkook stood in the way. Taehyung watched him start to reach out again, this time as if wanting to take hold of his arm.When he stepped back, Jungkook gritted his teeth and dropped his hand to his side. “I’m going to ask you—with all that I am—please don’t leave our home.” Weighted by firm conviction, Jungkook’s words fell through Taehyung’s heart but found no room to settle. “I don’t want you to leave—not now and not ever—but especially not when you’re pregnant with our child. Please. I’ll do anything you ask to make it bearable. Just don’t leave.”A long, tense moment passed. All Taehyung could do was stare at Jungkook, aghast and wrenched away from everything he knew and everything he held most dear. “Jungkook, how much of the chivalry you’re displaying has to do with me, and how much of it has to do with the baby? Finally and at last a baby, right? Family was always our dream and look what we’ve turned into as that dream comes true.”Perhaps words could hit as hard as a physical blow. If Jungkook’s reaction was any indication, he had been rocked backwards by the figurative punch of a fist.Taehyung’s vindication at that was tempered immediately by bone-deep sorrow, and loss. Tears sprang up. He dashed them away, sick of the way they felt against his skin—like a molten lava, sick of the weakness they displayed. He hiccupped when he tried to catch his breath.But like a possessed omega, he couldn’t stop himself from lashing out one last time. He had wanted to hurt Jungkook, after all, and he was succeeding. “I don’t know what I’m going to do, and I don’t know what’s going to happen. I’ve landed smack-dab in the middle of hell, and you’ve ripped my heart out.” !!~~~~!!
I love you, Taehyung. I wanted to say that to you countless times during that horrid confrontation. You’re precious to me. You’re my everything. I’ve made an epic mistake, but I love you.
I love you…
I love you…
I love you…
I love you…
The words became a chorus that played through Jungkook over and over again. Jungkook stumbled blindly toward his car in the Sawon parking lot. Rain drenched him, all but gluing his suit to his body. He couldn’t have cared less. He sank onto the driver’s seat of his sedan and slammed the door shut. The drumbeat of pouring water pounded against the roof and windshield.Taehyung was long gone. He had exited the Sawon and taken off with no indication of whether he’d go home, or perhaps to Seokjin’s, or maybe even his parents’ house. He needed to be away from him, and Jungkook didn’t blame him for doing so.Meanwhile, in an awful glimpse of the new life he inhabited, he had nothing left.
Temptation is the greatest folly.
Jungkook propped his head against the back of the leather seat and closed his eyes. Water ran off his hair in cold, snaking rivers that skimmed his neck and dribbled down his back as he forced himself to go still.
In the name of god, I, Kim Taehyung, take you Jeon Jungkook to be my wedded husband and eternal mate, to have and to hold from this way forward, for better, for worse, for richer, or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish...until death do us apart.
“There’s no way to reach him now,” Jungkook lamented, beseeching the Moon he had refused to obey. Would She hear? Would She care? Everything Jungkook knew to be true as an alpha told him, emphatically, yes. No one was beyond redemption. Even him. “He’s been ambushed, Moon, and his heart has been laid low by my stupidity.”Turning inward, Jungkook allowed his mind to go blank. Muscles and joints held too tightly in place began to uncoil, leaving him in the throes of an ache that pounded through every joint in his body.“Please—please, Mighty help him learn to forgive me.”His words mixed with the sizzle and pop of the rain. His eyes stung as the unwavering truth behind them hit home and left Jungkook acutely aware of everything he had lost: the sweet, unfettered sparkle of Taehyung’s eyes when he looked at him, the soft silk of his hand in his, his calming presence, in both body and spirit with a force so powerful and intimate that, after the length of time they had been together, Jungkook could no longer distinguish where he ended and Taehyung began.
Until now.
The two-word condemnation wreaked havoc. He expelled a heavy breath and slouched forward. He had to get going, but the simple act of pushing a key into the ignition and twisting it felt like running a marathon. The engine purred to life and hummed smoothly.Jungkook couldn’t move. He didn’t want to. His conference call was scheduled to start in less than twenty minutes; there was no way he’d make it on time. Furthermore? It didn’t matter to him one bit.“Forget it,” he muttered to the empty space. “Forget it all.”Lead Me by Sanctus Real came on the radio, and from the opening words, Jungkook sank back once more and lost himself in the lyrics and music, forcing himself to remember to breathe.Busted up and bleeding from the core of his spirit, Jungkook’s tears squeezed out of the corners of his eyes and trickled down his cheeks. The song couldn’t have possibly been more ordained. The piece chronicled a turbulent season in the span of a marriage. He clenched his fists. The lyrics sank in and a painful swell of emotion left his throat tight. The musical illustration of a man struggling to maintain his hold on life—trying to lead his wife, his children and himself toward spiritual truth—shattered his defenses like the sure swing of a sledgehammer.It was a pure moment of realization.Jungkook’s tears rolled harder—beads of regret that poured down his face in a way he hadn’t experienced since his youth.Husband. Believer. Mate.He had utterly failed…on all counts.Dreams came true as his most precious relationship, his deepest love, unraveled. He couldn’t turn the tide now. Taehyung had made that clear. How could he find the grace of heavens when he had lost a large part of what was best in his life—the faith and trust of his mate? Now Taehyung paid the price for his mistakes and the battle he had lost against the devil’s temptations.
Help me bring him back, please. I can’t do this without You. Help me show him my love and devotion. Help me recapture his heart.
Jungkook groaned after that silent prayer. He meant every syllable but wondered.How could he ever win him back?How could Taehyung ever be free enough to trust him again?Agony transformed into a physical pain. The lyrics of the song continued to wash over him, but Jungkook felt far removed from any type of cleansing and hope they might provide. Rather, he considered the moments when he had stepped away from Sawon and turned his back on everything he knew to be right—like the omega he had committed his love to for a lifetime, and still loved above all else.His diversion from right path had intensified the instant a starry-eyed beautiful omega had entered his field of vision, playing a perfect stroke against each and every pressure point of his thirsty ego.He had turned away from heaven and stumbled headlong into a battle against the devil in his soul. Being a believer didn’t protect him from being tempted by the call of temptations. Now he needed to reassert himself by finding his way back to his faith and Taehyung—the only one who mattered.He decided to chuck work and go home instead. He’d call Beomgyu with some form of an excuse for bailing on the conference call. Whether Taehyung showed up or not, home is where he needed to be.When he left the Sawon parking lot, the song concluded on a provocative declaration that seeped into Jungkook’s soul and found fertile soil. Jungkook prayed.
Moon, lead me. I can’t do this alone.
!!~~~~!!!!~~~~!!
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Jungkook piloted home, not knowing what to expect. He drove up the driveway and spied Taehyung’s car in the garage. He pulled in next to the omega’s black Lexus, unable to exit his vehicle right away. It seemed like God was all but buckling him into place.Jungkook might have been a few months rusty on petitions and daily prayer, but not anymore. He recognized a call to worship when it hit him over the head, and he heeded the summons. He didn’t speak; he didn’t think. Instead, he listened to the silence and he bowed his head, loving the way his body went lax and receptive.
Love him, Jungkook. Love him well.
Six small words filled him. They might have come from his soul; they might have been his dearest wish given form as words. He didn’t know for sure, and for now, he didn’t care. All he wanted in his life was to somehow make things right.He stepped out of the car. When he cut through the kitchen, all he came upon was silence. Concerned, he headed to the entryway of their home, intending to trot upstairs and see if Taehyung might be in their bedroom. Forward progress stuttered to a halt when he came upon two small suitcases parked at the foot of the stairs.Jungkook’s knees started to give. He grabbed hold of the banister and remained upright.Barely.A crushing recognition pressed in on him from every side.
I’m this easy for Taehyung to leave behind. I’m this easy for him to reject.
You broke him. You broke the vows you made to him. You...are a sinner.
Before self-pity could take root, before Jungkook could even shed a tear, the circle of that thought came to completion.
It serves me right. What else should I expect? After all, I rejected him first…
Punctuating the moment, Jungkook came aware of soft footfalls on the thick, cream carpet of the stairs. When he looked up, Jungkook came upon eyes of deepest green that had broken the seal of his heart forever.What had he ever—ever—been thinking when gazing at Jimin?Taehyung’s greens connected with him and Jungkook world tilted on its axis.How was he so enticed with the deceptiveness of something that never held his heart in the first place?Taehyung came to an awkward stop just a few steps away from the landing. “You…you’re home…?”Jungkook crumbled. Something bitter and acrimonious entered his soul. “Did you think I’d go back to work? Really?”“I...I don’t know what to think anymore, Jung—Alpha.”The words struck like a jagged knife in his heart—piercing, twisting. Taehyung had never ever called him alpha. That was like seven oceans between them when Taehyung was just a few feet away. He swayed with a hurt so bad it pierced his soul.Jungkook banished a growl of frustration from his wolf. This was his doing—all his doing—not Taehyung’s. Following a measured breath, he closed his eyes to find his footing again and looked into those heartbreaking, luminescent eyes. “You’re...you are lea—leaving?”“Absolutely.” Taehyung descended the remaining stairs and viciously extracted the metal guide handles of the luggage. “I don’t know what I want over the long term yet, but I need to figure that out, don’t I?”“Sep—separation?” Jungkook whispered, his face ashen. The word tasted rotten. Even putting that idea into the universe caused his stomach to knot. His soul twisted at the thought of Taehyung moving away let alone leaving him for good.“We’re the sum of our choices, Jungkook, and you’ve made yours. That’s not a criticism. It’s simply a realization I’ve come to with the past few months as a barometer. I’m married to—” Taehyung made a couple of air quotes “—Jeon Jungkook. But the marquee name isn’t what I married, and the marquee name isn’t what I fell in love with. I fell for the alpha who was dignified enough to vow his fidelity to me. But now...it seems like a farfetched dream. My biggest fear is that when you take enough time and focus on me long enough to look deep, you’ll find you don’t love me anymore. It was slipping like the sand in the hourglass. I guess we changed drastically without even realizing it. Where does that leave us? What does it all mean?” His monotone voice and the tinge of defeat undid Jungkook’s control system.Jungkook wanted to keep fighting; he wanted Taehyung to keep fighting, too, but the omega looked weakened and defeated, pale and frail...as though the ability to do battle just wasn’t in him anymore.“You’re carrying our child. Think about that! ‘Moon’s plan is for us.’” This time, Jungkook used the air quotes.Taehyung’s chin wavered, his eyes sparkled, but no tears fell. It looked like he had rediscovered the determination to leave the alpha behind, but when Jungkook’s alpha explored the layers of emotion residing just beneath the steel and grit of the omega, he found nothing but sorrow.If Taehyung was this sad about the state of their relationship, could there be enough emotion left to build something better?Jungkook battled on. “Taehyung-ah, think about something else, too. Do you think it’s mere coincidence that the night I met up against my biggest temptation, Moon turned me to you, and to us, so irrevocably?”“That’s where you’re wrong. We should have been irrevocable from the start. From the moment we exchanged our vows. So, you’ve answered my question. This whole horrible mess leaves us nowhere. When I’m ready, I’ll get a hold of you. Don’t try to track me. Don’t call Jin hyung either...and please Jungkook don’t call my parents. Until I can come to terms, I want you to leave me alone.”The finality of that last, tortured statement stunned Jungkook to broken silence. Before he could hazard a reply, Taehyung snared his suitcases and beat a hasty retreat. The Omega was a quiet, crushed man. And his energy seized all of Jungkook’s efforts to ice.When Taehyung walked away, when Jungkook heard the definitive click of the garage entrance door being pulled closed, the voice of Hyungsik sang through Jungkook’s mind.
Be still and know that Lord has greater plans for you.
Jungkook didn’t want to hear holy platitudes, yet there had to be a purpose for this prompting. He closed his eyes and softened his heart.
How can I be still when I’ve destroyed everything I love?
He’s left…
No immediate answer materialized for his pleas. He closed his eyes as tears fell freely from his eyes and there was no bound to his grief as he shattered on the floor. 🦢~~~~ 🦢 The night passed in a wretched, unnatural silence that permeated the entire house. Inconsolable, Jungkook sat in the empty living room, hating the lifeless feel of the atmosphere and his life. His spirit vibrated with every accusation Taehyung had hurled; every dose of his bitterness and pain wrapped around Jungkook tight, becoming claustrophobic.He didn’t remember when he walked to the only chair he used to occupy when they had their morning breakfast, or evening meal...sometimes Saturday brunches but today the chair next to his was empty.He sat in the leather chair and stared at its twin, the chair right next to his. It was Taehyung’s favorite spot whenever they curled up together, chatted, shared tea, or watched television. Between the two recliners stood a table upon which rested the frame, a photo taken in Macao...in which Taehyung was staring at his face as Jungkook posed for the camera.Jungkook rubbed his forehead and closed his eyes against all the images of his light…and leaving.
Love him, Jungkook. Love him well.
Repeat counsel from Priest Hyungsik.
He sighed and sank back in his chair. Sure, the advice was great, but he couldn’t find a pathway to make amends—and love Taehyung well.He surrendered for the moment and forced everything out of his mind. His gaze fell to the remote control for the television, and he decided he needed noise.Clicking on the power button, he sighed and waited while the plasma screen fired to life. He scrolled through the menu screen listlessly, glancing at movie selections until one in particular froze his fingertips on the device.
Letters to Juliet.
He tuned in to the movie, which had just begun. The story played out, and the visuals of Verona, Italy were gorgeous, but nothing much captured his attention for long except the title. Then the movie focused on a letter—a decades-old outpouring of regret over love lost—that had been left behind in a crack of the wall outside the fictional home of Shakespeare’s tragic heroine, Juliet Capulet.Jungkook couldn’t move past the idea.
A letter of love. To Taehyung.
Could such a thing transform into a starting point? He had so much to say, but he knew Taehyung would never give him that kind of chance face-to-face.Not yet, anyway.Terrified of what he was about to do, praying it wouldn’t cause more harm than good, Jungkook extinguished the distraction of the television and reached into a drawer of the end table. He pulled out a pen and a sheet of paper. He needed to take Taehyung’s heart by surprise once again—but this time in only the very best and most impassioned way possible. 🦢~~~~ 🦢 Slow-building lark song edged Taehyung awake. The fade of night into a greyish, pearly dawn roused him from a restless slumber. He turned from his side to his back. His eyes were swollen and scratchy. His throat was too tight, and it hurt.Both afflictions were a reminder of how much time he had spent crying. He hated to surrender the night. Its cloak had provided a shroud of protection and temporary respite from pain that hadn’t lessened its choking grip by even the slightest degree.He closed his eyes, trying to shut out the cheery noise of escalating bird chatter and thick green leaves rustling in a warm breeze. Those simple reminders of daily renewal struck him as vile.He wanted to wallow in the miseries of heart on the bed until his heart stopped bleeding or at least turned numb.But, by God’s grace alone, he had answered the call of a new day.It felt so odd, sleeping in the guest room at Seokjin’s house. Everything felt off-center, and foreign.Appropriate to the moment, he thought. Very appropriate.Light increased by slow degrees filling the room. A vivid flash of white outside the open window caught his eye and he watched a swan dance in the nearby pond just beyond the screen.Taehyung tossed to his side once more and tucked his hand beneath the pillow while he watched. His thoughts didn’t stray for long, though, and he ended up taking a walk through the past several hours since he had seen Jungkook.After leaving home, he had driven a beeline to his Jin hyung’s embrace. As soon as Seokjin pulled open the front door and saw Taehyung’s face, he stared, scowling with instant worry.“Tae baby? What’s wrong? What happened?”Taehyung didn’t answer. He didn’t have to. Instead, he collapsed into Seokjin’s arms, right there on the porch. “Oh…Taehyung…come here, sweetie.” Seokjin drew him into the entryway and then held him tight all over again.A tall redhead like their father, Seokjin’s commanding presence and steady demeanor spoke eloquently of a firstborn child’s leadership. However, a fierce, almost combative loyalty was another of Seokjin’s characteristics.In private, they had curled up together on the comfy, overstuffed couch in the living room. There, with steaming tea mugs positioned on a table in front of them and an afghan draped over both their legs, Taehyung explained it all. Once Taehyung explained the details of his heartbreak and breakup with Jungkook, and delivered the news of his pregnancy, Seokjin’s tears fell, and he rested a gentle hand against Taehyung’s abdomen in yet another display of protectiveness.“Never expected this from him! What a cheat!”Typically, Seokjin pulled no punches.“Jin Hyung…” Automatically, Taehyung threw out a note of tenderhearted warning, guarding Jungkook in some small, ridiculous way from a display of Seokjin’s fury that the alpha most definitely deserved.“Don’t Jin Hyung me, Taetae. He chucked a dagger into the heart of my little brother. Brother-in-law or not, I’d flatten him if he were within reach right now!”Taehyung laughed through his tears, fortified by the support. He grabbed for a few tissues—Seokjin kept a box by Taehyung’s elbow for obvious reasons—and blew out a hard puff of air. “Do you know what? I’d probably let you.”“Okay. So, I think you need to rage and fume for a bit.” Seokjin leaned across the space between them and took Taehyung’s free hand in his own. Taehyung squeezed tight and Seokjin answered the gesture right back. “Stay here for as long as you want, little one? I mean that. And don’t keep anything in. Get it all out with nothing held back. After that, you’ll be able to think clearer and figure out what comes next.”Advice dispensed, Seokjin waited and watched attentively. At length Taehyung laid his head on Seokjin’s shoulder and simply sank away—into a tearless but draining sense of failure.Not long after that, for a precious handful of hours, Taehyung went to bed and allowed himself to rest in seclusion. He needed space to shatter again and begin to mend.But how was he supposed to accomplish that exactly?
Forgive me, Taehyung…
Jungkook’s words came back to haunt him. So did his plaintive tone. Taehyung kicked them away.
No, Jungkook. You need to suffer. I want you to suffer. Badly.
But what did that say about him as the fated mates, and soon-to-be omega father of his child? Was self-righteous indignation the answer? Would hardness of spirit give him peace?Taehyung wasn’t without fault in the breakdown of his marriage, and he knew it. But what Jungkook had done was so much worse…
Taehyung, sin leads to sin, no matter how big, no matter how small. Sin is evil. Beat sin with love.
You know you love him...there was no if about it...
But I can’t love him. With this pain in my chest...I just can’t.
It was his answer last night, and it was his answer now.Issuing a strident and distinctive call, the pair of swan called and jumped from spot to spot in the nearby pond taking time to snuggle to the other swan, pulling Taehyung away from the jumble of last night’s thoughts and memories. He watched the beautiful pristine bird, listless, yet captivated.Though it was difficult to tell if who was cob or pen but staring at the one who had distinct bright beak Taehyung assumed it was the male, while the other who looked back again was with unwavering gaze would be the female—for she looked like the fool in love. But the question that struck his mind was did they mate for life? Like the fated pair? Would the male swan betray her as well? Would she feel hurt like he was feeling right now?The thought, coupled with a daily dose of morning sickness, nearly left him dashing for the bathroom, but Taehyung couldn’t even muster the energy to get out of bed. He fought off nausea by breathing slowly and evenly through his nose. His serene-winged visitor went stock still for a moment and then tilted his head in a way that caused Taehyung’s lips to curve despite it all.As though on cue, a small-formed swan joined the swan pair. The cygnet flew directly towards its papa swan. Together they all flitted and sang. Amazing, Taehyung thought, enchanted by the vision of Lord’s unique creation. They were such gorgeous pair of birds, partners in a perfect syncopation of flight and water dance. Seconds later, they were gone—together—and the vignette broke Taehyung’s heart all over again into sharp, jagged pieces.Sobs overtook him all at once and without warning.Well, he had made it through ten or fifteen minutes of consciousness without tears. Maybe next time around he’d make it to the half-hour mark. He grabbed a tissue from the box on the nightstand, dabbed beneath his eyes, and blew his nose.Taehyung expelled a heavy groan. This wouldn’t do. Tossing back the bed covers, he landed his feet on the floor and forced himself to stand. He padded to the easy chair positioned in a corner of the room, grabbing his robe from where he had tossed it the night before.Taehyung needed breakfast to quell the queasy roll of his stomach. Furthermore, he knew he couldn’t hide out forever. He had to go home. He had to face Jungkook and the remnants of his marriage.Today.That sense of purpose didn’t make pushing forward any easier, though.After breakfast, he would go home. By that time Jungkook would be at work. That would give him an entire day to prepare for…There Taehyung’s thoughts floundered.Walking to the bedroom door, pulling it open, he marched into the hallway and found the conclusion of his thought. He needed to prepare himself for this new and completely unexpected turn in his life. 🦢~~~~ 🦢 Taehyung turned onto the tree-lined street, and the familiar sight of his home wove into view. Perfectly shaped pear trees, cherry blossoms and daffodils framed the white brick colonial. Fragrant petals tumbled to the ground in a carpet of pink, purple, and white.Mercifully, Jungkook’s car was gone. Taehyung breathed easier at the realization, and a constricting band eased its hold from around his chest.Inside, the silence Taehyung discovered was welcome and comforting—until he walked into the kitchen. He intended to check the message machine by the phone. What he found waiting for him on the long, granite counter just a few feet away brought his footsteps to an abrupt halt.Propped against a crystal vase that overflowed with fresh, pink lilacs and daffodils, Taehyung spied a simple white envelope. His name was written across the front in Jungkook’s bold, elegant scrawl. His nerves tripped and an all-over ache took him under in the span of time it took him to draw a breath.Taehyung stepped forward in a slow, measured way. The aroma of the flowers, one of his all-time favorites, called to his senses, sweet and intoxicating. They were gorgeous.Had Jungkook cut the blooms from their tree out back?Curiosity rampant, he lifted the envelope and tucked his finger beneath the flap. Pulling out two handwritten pages, he unfolded them, bracing against the edge of the counter to keep steady.
My dearest Taehyung,
Taehyung stopped reading and froze. He grabbed for air and dropped the pages onto the counter top, stepping away and turning his back.No. He couldn’t do it. The opening words alone ripped new cervices in his still bleeding heart. He could almost hear the loving, tender inflections of Jungkook’s blissful voice…Taehyung paced and glanced back at the papers, trying to think of anything else to do but read them. The tri-folded sheets called to him without mercy, a beckoning he couldn’t possibly resist.Condemning himself as a glutton for punishment, Taehyung stalked back to the counter and grabbed the letter. Determined to be firm-spirited and resolute, he sat at the dinette and braced himself. Girded and resolved to stay detached, Taehyung picked up at the first paragraph and began to read.
I don’t even know where to begin. The words ‘I’m sorry’ aren’t nearly enough. I wronged you—I wronged our marriage—in one of the worst ways imaginable. Words alone will never atone for what I’ve done. Simple words won’t reassure you, and simple words won’t win back your love—or your trust. I can only pray you’ll stay by my side long enough for me to show you, day-by-day, the truth of what I’m about to say. I want you and you alone. I love you and you alone. You, and our marriage, are precious to me. I can’t embellish beyond that. I won’t even try. As I said, words will never now, only actions, the reassertion of my love for you, will turn the tide between us.
What you said to me at Sawon is the absolute truth. Although I didn’t fully betray you with my body, a foolish and misguided desire led me away from everything of deepest value in my life. Misguided desire led me to betray my truest heart, and the person I love the most.
You.
A pair of tears splattered against the corner of the pages Taehyung held, spreading a dark stain that blurred a few of the words Jungkook had written. Taehyung dashed the back of his hand against his cheeks and fought hard to continue.
Taehyung, it has always been you. From the moment I met you almost eight years ago, you’ve held my heart, my soul. I’m sure that seems so hollow a statement right now. After everything we’ve shared, that kills me inside.
Taehyung had to stop there. He was overcome. The words had become indiscernible, and his vision refused to clear until he wiped excess moisture away.Again.After blowing out a puff of air, he covered his trembling lips with the press of his fingertips and forced himself to finish the rest of the note.
I traveled too fast, swept up in a life that separated me from you, and my faith, without me even realizing it until I hit a sheet of black ice that I never saw coming. Moon alone can mend me back into the person I was, the one you fell in love with. Dealing with the fallout of your pain has left me broken inside. Damaged. Why? Because I’m keenly aware of what my wasteful stupidity has done to you—an innocent who certainly didn’t deserve what you received from me. You offered trust. I gave you betrayal. You offered love. I gave you quick-handed deceit. I write you this note because, for now, the idea of looking into your eyes as I speak these truths tears me up inside to a degree that I know I would never be able to express myself fully, or effectively. That direct a conversation, right now, would take me to a place where I wouldn’t be able to communicate the depth of what I feel.
So, you may ask, what exactly do I feel right now? Mostly, I feel shame, and loss. In you—in us—I held beauty. In a heartbeat, I wrecked it, and I realize I never should have set foot outside the love we share, and the marriage we treasure. I hope your faith and heart will be strong enough to give us a second chance. But know this, no matter what your answer may be, I’m after you. I’m after you with everything I am, and I won’t quit pursuing you until you let me back into the deepest parts of you. I don’t expect quick redemption, only a chance.
There are a million ways I can spin the words I’m sorry, but there is only one thing that will bring us back to what we were. Me. I need to prove to you—over and over again, in action by action, in every day that you give me from this point forward—that you are the most treasured gift Moon and Fates ever placed in my life. You’re everything to me, but that statement means nothing in the face of the wrongs I’ve done. Give me time to fill the hollow spot I created with what we had before—an amazing, forever love. Scarred and imperfect, my heart is yours. It always has been, and it always will be. Can you find a way to let me try and win you back? Think about it—please.
With all my love ~ Jungkook
Dry-eyed now, Taehyung reread the letter—and reread it again. Twice. Thrice. Entire sections of it had already taken root in his memory. By the fourth go-through he was able to recall exact passages before even reading them.This was the man he had fallen in love with. This was the Jeon Jungkook to whom Taehyung had given his heart to, this was the alpha Taehyung had committed his life for.Still, despite the noble intent of the note, doubt and betrayal flooded Taehyung’s spirit.What if the alpha strayed again?What if another set of circumstances conspired to draw them apart?What if he was only trying to save face for his own sake, and that of their child?What if he felt obliged to do so?What if?What if?What if?Taehyung settled a hand gently against his belly and closed his eyes. Every doubt he clung to was answered by the beautiful words Jungkook had written, and the words he had spoken at Sawon.
We can’t work on our relationship if we’re not together, Taehyung.
His entire body tingled, a force field returning to life in a way Taehyung hadn’t experienced in days. He couldn’t fathom how they would begin, or how they would attempt to live together in their present circumstances—and forget about sharing a bed.Complications wove around him, so Taehyung sprung from the seat and left the letter behind. When he did, he came upon the flowers. They were so vibrant and fresh they had to have been cut and arranged by Jungkook. It was a lovely, subtle gesture of thoughtfulness.Taehyung paced to the counter and touched his fingertips to the tiny, velvety blooms. Brushing against the flowers released a scent that wrapped around him with comfort and beauty.Beauty in the midst of ashes.That’s when Taehyung realized what he needed to do. He ventured to the living room when his eyes settled on the picture frame. He paused for a second before he continued towards the table and claimed the Sacred tome of ‘Matches Made by Fates’ from the table between his chair and Jungkook’s.It was the holy book written by their elders nine centuries ago when the first wolf even born howled on the blood moon night and Taehyung possessed the sixth edition of the book—printed in the fourteenth century A.D., a gift from Jungkook on their first anniversary.His hands caressed the spine of the book as he opened it to the page he last bookmarked. He needed time to reconnect to his roots...to the everything that was sacred and spiritual.To the find the footing in his ancestor’s beliefs.“You need to calm, Taehyung,” he murmured to himself as he returned to the dinette. “Pray to Moon without ceasing.”He settled comfortably in his chair, opened the book at the bookmark he left lastly, and in a matter of seconds he could feel himself tumbling headlong into the embrace of Moon goddess’s love. 🦢~~~~ 🦢~~🦢~~~~ 🦢
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Jungkook squeezed the bridge of his nose. The instant he closed his eyes, exhaustion didn’t just creep in, it thundered and tromped and beat a painful pattern against his temples.The meeting with Beomgyu about changing Jimin’s agent at the peak of his career didn’t go well. Somehow, the gossips had made its way through the halls of AT office and to Beomgyu and the way he looked at Jungkook wasn’t anything admirable.In the past, Beomgyu always appreciated Jungkook’s professionalism but the way his tone was scolding when he asked him with a scowl on his face, ‘I didn’t peg you for a man of dishonor Jungkook. What is this gossip I hear in the office?’Jungkook didn’t know how to reply to that question. He had asked himself thousands of times and came out short of reasonable replies. He didn’t know what it was that drew him away from his mate and into the arms of someone he wouldn’t have lifted an eye in the past.Jungkook always valued traditions and customs, being born in family that believed in true mates and Goddess Selene. He remembered going to Sawon every week. But these past few months, he was walking away from all his duties—towards his husband, towards his family, towards Lord.Taehyung’s tear filled face wouldn’t let him sleep for two days. Th last time Taehyung cried because of him was when Jungkook won the award for excellence in his company. And those were happy tears. Not the tears that contorted Jungkook’s heart and made him the biggest scum on the planet.Taehyung.Jungkook sighed. His and Taehyung’s relation really turned into a mere lunch break chatter. But his main concern was Taehyung.How was he? Jungkook tried reaching Seokjin or Jihaan but no one responded to his calls or messages. It was like everyone shut him out of their life.And after his confrontation with Jimin, the omega thankfully understood and didn’t try to reach out to him again. Jungkook was thankful for that. All his meetings and future prospects were handed over to Beomgyu and Jive labels. Beomgyu would assign him a new agent and it wasn’t Jungkook’s concern who that would be. Moreover now, it was in Jimin’s own hand to make or break his career.Jungkook would solely focus on his marriage and his husband, Taehyung. He loved the omega too much to lose him in the hands of temptation. He pressed his thumb and index harder in his temple massaging the oncoming headache.His cell phone vibrated, sending a wave of energy against the surface of his desk. Jungkook grabbed for the device more out of ingrained habit than interest.It was Taehyung.A rush of adrenaline obliterated the remnants of a sleepless night spent in an empty, too-silent house. He almost dropped the phone in his eagerness to engage the call. “Taehyung, hey.”He walked to the entryway of his office and closed the door with a soft, discreet click. He started to breathe hard when a long silence came as his most immediate reply.“Hey.” Taehyung’s calming voice—at last. But it sounded hoarse. His heart squeezed as he realized Taehyung might have slept crying. And he wasn’t there to hold him.Jungkook spun from the door and raked his fingers through his hair. Taehyung sounded quiet and somber, but what else could he expect?“Where are you, swa—” Jungkook spoke in quiet, tender tones. He nearly ended with Swan—because the nickname was automatic for him. He clamped his mouth shut against the endearment, but it took tremendous effort.“I’m home.”More silence gave Jungkook the chance to brace himself. “And?”
The note, Taehyung. Did you get my note? Did you read it? Did it help you see anything of what I feel for you? Did you see that I made the biggest mistake of my life and I regret it. Please, Taehyung.
“I need time, Jungkook.”“Take all the time you need. Just…” Jungkook angled the phone so Taehyung wouldn’t hear his aching sigh. “Just…don’t give up. Don’t give up on me. Don’t give up on us. Not yet. OK?”The note, Jungkook begged in silence, wishing the connection they shared could send his thoughts directly to Taehyung.When more silence stretched, Jungkook forced himself to push on. “Where…where do you want me to go tonight?”Jungkook heard Taehyung stuttered breathing and it made him feel wretched. “I…I just…” His voice wavered. “I just don’t know, Jungkook.”Jungkook squeezed his eyes shut, cradling the phone gently—tenderly—it was Taehyung on the other end of this connection.After a stretched silence, Taehyung whispered slowly. Jungkook pressed the phone on his ear too hard.“Your note…it was beautiful.”Relief swept through him. At least Taehyung had seen it. At least he had read it.“Thank you.”“Don’t thank me, Jungkook. Thank heavens. You know, I’ve always envied those people who say they pick up the sacred book and flip at random page that’s in perfect tune to whatever questions they have, or whatever circumstances they face.”Jungkook was riveted. He could tell by the way Taehyung’s words began to tumble that a small dam had burst free. “Sacred book reading doesn’t work like that for me very often. Instead, I see it as a chance to pick up on knowledge and figure out the way the Lord wants me to live.”“That’s the way I feel, too.”“Today was different. I got up this morning and found myself in Grief and Doubts.” Taehyung let out a sound that was half-sigh, half-sad chuckle. “I guess the title alone was enough to draw me in.”Jungkook made no comment.“I started reading, and I couldn’t stop. I read the entire chapter over breakfast. It was a pretty tough exercise up until…hang on a second. I want to read it to you.” A pause ensued, followed by some shuffling background noise. “Here it is. Chapter six, verse fifty-six. ‘The love that forays through grief, we are not to be consumed by our doubts. Even if the love fade, the compassions never fail. There is always a new hope every morning. The supreme power is always with those who hopes. It is good to wait quietly for the Fates to deliver the judgement.”Jungkook knew Griefs and Doubts. He recalled how those few passages of hope and promise were like drenching water in an arid desert of sorrow and regret. He heard Taehyung close the book.Jungkook kept quiet while Taehyung seemed to take in a breath and regroup. “Hope is renewed every day.” His soft voice stroked Jungkook’s soul, left him to burn for his omega all over again. “I need to live my life knowing that’s the truth, but I have a lot to think about. I can’t...I won’t… just let my guard down and throw open my arms in welcome. I can’t. Please don’t ask that of me. I’m too hurt to let you in.”“I promise not to ask for any more than you can give, Taehyung. I’m not going anywhere.”“Like I said, I need time.”“I understand.” Jungkook clutched the phone in a death grip.“I’m going to stay with Seokjin and Jihaan for a while longer. I’m calling because I didn’t want you to worry.”“I mean what I say, Taehyung. Do what you need to do and take whatever time you need.”“I intend to.”Jungkook absorbed the hit of that sharp arrow. “I’m glad for that.”He heard Taehyung sigh. “My instinct right now is to snipe. To hurt you with my words. As much as I’m hurting, I want you to feel it. To know what doubts can do to you. To...”Again, Jungkook let silence have its way. He had no response to that fact. He could see Taehyung fighting his anger and keeping it at bay was more difficult than venting it out.“...And that’s not going to help us, and I know it. That’s why I want some time. I need to find a way to live past what’s happened. I’ve spent the last two days straight in tears, Jungkook. I’m worn out and I’m drained. I have nothing in me right now. No emotion. No hate, no love...no empathy.”More arrow strikes. Jungkook shut his eyes, withstood the stabs and pain. It was due compensation. “I understand. Can I at least call you to check in?”Silence.“Please Taehyung.” Jungkook almost begged him to agree to this.Silence.“Yes.”Hope.Then came inspiration.“Taehyung, when is your next doctor’s appointment?”“A month from now. Why?”“Umm…I’d…like to be there with you, if that’s OK.” Jungkook struggled with words, hating this awkwardness that had seeped in their relationship and the fear he felt in approaching the omega he loved from the depth of his heart.“Do you want…are you interested in finding out if it’s a boy or a girl?”His heart thumped, and he smiled. He sank into the chair behind his desk and tipped his head back. Closing his eyes, he smiled. “I’d like to be surprised, but if you want to know, I could get behind that, too. It really doesn’t matter what we have if our pup is healthy and happy.”“Yeah, I know.”Was that a smile he heard in Taehyung’s voice?Jungkook fought to keep steady. One inch at a time was fine by Jungkook—so long as forward progress might happen.“I’d like to be surprised, too, I think. I’ll be having an ultrasound at the appointment, that’s why I asked. They won’t tell us if we don’t want them to.”
Us.
We.
Two of the most beautiful words in the language…“I’d get to hear the heartbeat and everything?” The idea of it spurred an unequalled joy.“Yeah.”“I’d love to be there.”Another intense, hesitant silence expanded between them. “I’ll call you back with the details.”Hope whooshed through him. Sure, they were miles away from any type of a comfort zone, but maybe, just maybe, this could be a start. 🦢~~~~ 🦢 Heavy footsteps took Taehyung to his closet at home. After almost three weeks away, he was ready to come back again.Jungkook’s messages asking him about his health were a daily occurrence. Though Taehyung never replied, but he made sure he read them all.Not a single day went by when he didn’t receive them – asking about his breakfast, lunch, dinner, health and whatever not.Taehyung knew when Jungkook was persistent he would never dodge. But he felt too tired to reply—who was he kidding. He was feeling squirmish thinking that Jungkook worked in the same building as Jimin. And that kept him on his toes. He would scroll through news channels—if any news surfaced about Jimin or his agent.But none.Taehyung sighed. Doubts would surface every time he thought of the day he had found Jungkook talking to Jimin at Seokjin’s. He wouldn’t go to that side of the house either. It gave him jitters to look at the place, Jungkook held him and lied to him.How much happened between them in the past two three months. How Jungkook fell so soon for an omega? How an omega who was a stranger to both of them a few months ago, shattered Taehyung’s carefully built world?Will Taehyung ever heal from this pain? He didn’t know. But every time his thoughts wandered to Jungkook’s face in the Sawon when he confronted the alpha, he felt nothing but undiluted pain—not anger, not hate...but pain of the love he felt for the alpha.Yesterday evening when he was scrolling through the channels, Jimin’s latest song popped up. Taehyung looked at the omega for the first time. Jimin was beautiful. And he was the pain Taehyung felt in his chest.Taehyung wanted to throw the remote at the TV. But he wasn’t that impulsive. Moreover that thing costed Seokjin more than he himself donated in the Sawon last month. He stared at the ceiling for hours after that.Jimin’s face wouldn’t leave him alone. He felt his anger bubbling up again. This wasn’t going to help what he talked with Priest Hyungsik on the call.Taehyung needed to channel his anger at something prolific. Not spiteful. Taehyung asked him if he could go for separation, but their families were involved and he loved his parents and Jungkook’s too...too much to let everything shatter in the blink of an eye.Taehyung remembered the first time he saw May, Jungkook’s mother. She was beaming with happiness and hugged and peppered Taehyung with kisses when Jungkook introduced him as his fated mate. Jungkook would fake complaint for months that Taehyung stole his mother from him but would smile and kiss him passionately about how Taehyung brought an everlasting happiness in their lives.Could he really do that to the people he love?Seokjin reasoned him to go home and give a chance to Jungkook. But could he give him that? Second chance?He didn’t know.His eyes wandered to the phone, blinking with a notification.Jungkook’s message. He took a deep breath and unlocked the phone.
Hase: Hey Taehyung, it’s me. Sent 20:30
Hase: How are you feeling? Had dinner? Sent 20:32
Hase: This place doesn’t seem home without you. Sent 20:36
Hase: I miss you. Sent 22:34
Taehyung wanted to hurl the phone in the front wall. After contemplating for a minute, he settled his head on the headrest of the couch staring at the ceiling. Shuttling between his home and Seokjin’s, keeping track of clothes and supplies and avoiding Jungkook as much as possible in the process was becoming an inconvenient and emotionally draining exercise. He needed to move forward.He slid the mirrored door open and stepped inside as light flooded the interior.Listless, he began to slide hangers and explore selections. He sighed. His motions slowed to a stop. He stared ahead blankly, seeing nothing.Weekly prayers at KKOF Foundation would begin in just under an hour. He refused to miss it. He needed the semblance and the support of his Sawon family with an intensity that bordered on desperate.Still, a proud part of his wounded spirit rose up as well. He resumed searching his clothing options determined to come up with a beautiful ensemble. He came to a silk shirt that featured lovely pastel hues. It was a gift to him from Jungkook when they went to Hawaii five years ago. It was a bamboo silk shirt and Jungkook wouldn’t stop gushing about how it would look pretty on Taehyung. That thought brought a smile on his face. He eyed another options but finally settled on the shirt again. And moreover it was loose fitted, so it would be comfortable to wear.He probably wouldn’t show for a few weeks yet, but his regular clothes were becoming way too snug. Next, he found a lightweight silvery-gray sweater with a V-neck that would look great with a chunky, silver necklace. He wanted to look good, but knew such appearances were camouflage, a necessary mask to cover his shame and self-recrimination. That’s why he hadn’t attended the prayer Sundays in weeks.The self-imposed exile would end tonight.Tonight, just for a short while, he wanted to reclaim some semblance of routine and his old self-confidence. He wanted to feel vital, and attractive, but realizing that he needed to affirm himself in such a way caused sadness to step in the way of everything else and shove him backward.Taehyung gritted his teeth, but continued to struggle. A pair of glossy, black shoes rested in the back corner of the closet. He blinked his vision clear of building tears and grabbed them. His eyes still stung, but the tears didn’t fall. He was working past them—slowly but surely.
Still, I’ve failed. Still, my marriage failed. And yet, I believe in love?
Doubts like that prompted him to KKOF tonight. Spending time there would help. Taehyung swallowed hard. He threw his selections onto the bed and made ready to untie and remove his silk robe so he could dress. Frustration built and quickly overwhelmed.
Lord, show me the light. Speak to me. Please, please speak to me. I don’t know what to do anymore. If I come back...it’s like telling Jungkook what he did was OK. It demeans me to admit how much I still love him, and want him. I’ve given him my heart, my trust—I’m rendered bare and completely hopeless...with no light to guide me through this darkness.
Without forethought, not knowing what would come next, he fell to his knees on the thick, plush carpeting. Eyes closed, and mercifully dry, he bowed his head and sank back on his haunches.“Lord, please be with me. I need you to show me a way out of this nightmare that will still guide my life in the direction of hope and truth. I’m filled with so much anger. I feel so betrayed—but I love him so much. I always have. There was no one else. And there will be...no one...else...” breathing become difficult for him, “...Help me deal with that fact and figure out what to do next, because right now I only feel pain, and all I want to do is leave everything behind. Even Jungkook.” 🦢~~~~ 🦢 As always, they took turns reading from the holy book. Tonight’s selection came from Jupiter, chapter thirteen. Min Yoongi read first starting at verse fourteen. “Fates said to the mass..........but the things that come out from within are what corrupts the virtue of love and purity of soul.’”The next participant took over. Taehyung’s heart reacted strangely, pumping out an uneven rhythm. He opened his mouth to breath in, to keep air flowing and help him remain steady. His perceptions went fuzzy, and an oppressive heat crawled through him. Beginning to function outside himself, he went numb, awaiting his turn, realizing which part would be his to proclaim at this roundtable.“Taehyung?” Priest Park Hyungsik’s gentle prod interrupted his thoughts. He had missed his entry cue.Nodding, he bit his lips together for a moment, and then began to read at verse forty-two. “Clotho went on. ‘Humans were the most complex creation of the power that guides us...they are slaves of their own emotions. Emotions change with time but what comes out of a man is what makes him ‘sordid.’ From within—out of that crevice where an organ that regulates every emotions that flows through your body pumps out—the capability of it is far more vivid—it not only drives emotions but it brings evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. All these evils come from inside and make your heart ‘sordid.’”The murmured words came out in a deceivingly steady manner while on the inside Taehyung crumbled. Once he finished, he kept his eyes downcast.Hidden.The words of the holy book blurred into a greyish wash. What a condemnation. Was this the answer to his plight? Was this the answer to his troubles—the identification of folly, deceit, and lewdness?Adultery?That word weighed upon him as the readings moved mercifully on, and discussion began. He felt harshly rebuked for allowing his marriage to fall into decline with such blindness.Was he being punished somehow for not being enough for Jungkook?For not registering, and dealing with, the signs of a decaying relationship?Taehyung didn’t hear, or absorb, a single word of the analysis that took place. As best he could, he guarded himself against the revelations those holy words forced him to confront. Breath-by-breath he willed himself to remain distant, focusing instead on the loud, even tick of the second hand as it swept across the face of the black rimmed, white-faced clock on the wall. He needed tonight’s study session to end—as quickly as possible.Survive. Get through it. All he wanted to do was bolt for cover.
I need to keep it together. I can’t allow a breakdown right now. Not here!
Nonetheless, the readings from the third fate echoed and echoed, scratching against raw cuts on his psyche.At the end of the study, Priest Hyungsik closed his book, “Does anyone have requisitions they’d like to offer up?”The question was a standard concluding rite to their weekly meetings. Taehyung felt like such a hypocrite. Who was he to pray when his whole life echoed the very words he had just read? He was a mess.How could he possibly uplift anyone when he was so bogged down by recriminations and a poisoning level of anger?Worst of all, everything that had happened to him and Jungkook came from the inside out. Just like tonight’s readings indicated.In preparation for prayer, Yoongi took his hand from the left. Jee Willa, a delightful retiree still spry of mind and spirit, claimed Taehyung’s right.“I need for us to pray for my boss,” a prayer warrior began. “He was diagnosed this week with prostate cancer, and he’s going in for surgery. He’s got young children, and he’s so scared. He’s always been healthy and strong. He needs to be uplifted.”Murmurs of prayer and encouragement ran a line through the group. Taehyung fidgeted, shifting restlessly in his chair. His hand remained warmly held by Yoongi. He didn’t like how good it felt.
‘Open the window of your heart and let it lead you, I’ll be with you whatever you decide. Open your heart and see the truth, precious Taehyung. Come to me broken and I will restore you.’
‘Not here, please! Not now!’ Taehyung railed in silence as he willed his tears at bay. He kept his head low, squeezing his eyes shut tight against the whispers that slid across his soul.
Not in front of these holy people! I’m ashamed…
Taehyung longed to be open, to reveal the brokenness within, but he was terrified as well, so afraid of the ugliness and sin he bore.Yoongi began to speak. “I have a dear friend who has a troubled heart—problems that are clouding his natural joy and enthusiasm—his zeal for life and service to the Moon he loves so dearly. I don’t know what the problems are. And I don’t even care. I just pray for him to feel the touch of your hand, Mother. Please provide him the comfort he seeks and peace his heart as he sorts through whatever trouble life is sending him right now.”Just like that, Yoongi’s prayer did the revealing for Taehyung. The Alpha spoke of him deliberately, and Taehyung knew it. Warm moisture tracked down his cheeks as Yoongi’s comforting scent tried to calm his troubled heart. The slow but steady release of tears soothed in an almost supernatural way. Taehyung drained away as he came to the end of himself.After a second, he tried to pull his hand away from Yoongi’s grasp, wanting to dry his eyes. But Yoongi held on fast. A few droplets fell onto the table and Taehyung panicked. Desperation returned now, and he yanked free of Willa’s hold to slide the back of his hand against his cheeks. His head still bent, he sniffled, and a soft, uncontrolled sound flowed from his lips, straight from the depths of his heart. He was back again on the cliff—hanging between hurt and anger.
Why me? Why now?
The table focused on him, and Taehyung felt himself sink into their loving concern. The comfort they longed to give wouldn’t be denied—not even by his omega and sense of shame clouding him. The inadequacy of situation didn’t matter anymore. One by one they all came to him, a circle of silent prayer support and love, an uplifting tribe of puritan witnesses.Taehyung broke then. It couldn’t be stopped. He dissolved into silent sobs. No one asked questions. Not one person pushed for more than he could provide at the moment. Rather, they simply prayed and rested warm loving hands upon his shoulders.Priest Hyungsik was the only one to speak. “We don’t need details, Moon as you know them all, and you are already performing your great and powerful works. We ask only for the comfort of your embrace to rain down upon Taehyung. Bring him in your loving presence, your peace and grace in whatever it is he faces. In your precious name we all pray.”The chorus of ‘Amen’ sang through Taehyung’s very being. 🦢~~~~ 🦢 “Let me get that for you.” Taehyung remained seated at the conference table, not responding to Yoongi’s offer. The Alpha stood and reached across him to grab a used paper plate, a nearby napkin, and his now empty coffee cup.
Would you please stop being so nice to me? Would you please stop getting in the way? I can’t cope with kindness right now.
Taehyung felt like screaming.The thing was, Yoongi knew that. From the beginning, he had sensed Taehyung’s rage, and sadness, and heartbreak. That’s what bothered him most of all. He wanted to just roll up his life and stuff it away or at least allow himself to vanish from view until he sorted out this whole unseemly mess. Especially around a gentleman like Yoongi, who always struck him as being so grounded and spirit-filled.So, Taehyung sat in sullen confusion, wanting to let Yoongi know he wasn’t exactly happy about his intrusiveness. Rather than keep his feelings bottled up, Taehyung glanced around the room, to verify they were alone, and then he stood up briskly, setting a fisted hand on his hip. “That was incredibly difficult, Yoongi. And, I wish you would have let go of my hand.”Yoongi shrugged that off and continued to pick up debris. “Life’s not easy. Plus, we were praying, and emotion is a part of prayer. Why is it okay for everyone else to need prayer—and react to the power of prayer—except you?”Taehyung glared at him, even though the alpha couldn’t see it, moving through the room the way he did. Taehyung was still so riled and unsettled he couldn’t think straight. Meanwhile, Yoongi remained steady and sure, and turned at last to look deep into his almond eyes.Silence fell for a bit as their gaze met in the middle. Taehyung wanted to avert his eyes, but he felt like he was spellbound by the tenderness in Yoongi’s eyes.Yoongi smiled and continued, “On top of which, you know, and you’ve seen, that most times it’s best to just let the tears fall. Let them have their way, Tae. Doing so brings us closer to healing. Have you lost sight of that?”Taehyung could find no suitable response to that comment. Yoongi was right. There were no means by which to justify the way he had recoiled from being revealed—to Yoongi or anyone else who had gathered around the prayer table tonight.“You’re heartbroken, Tae. Like I said, I don’t know the details. I don’t have to if that’s not what you want, but finding release from what you’re troubled by, even if it’s through tears, is necessary to your well-being. To your peace.” His soothing voice came to him low and gentle, reassuringly kind.Yoongi reached for Taehyung’s hand and gave it a squeeze. The gesture stirred warmth against his chilled skin. “I’m a psychologist, so I know these things.”Taehyung gathered himself, looking at a spot over his shoulder instead of his penetrating, knowing gaze.“Do you have to get right home?” For the first time since the group broke up, Yoongi seemed a bit uncertain, yet determined. “Would you be interested in getting a cup of coffee?” Seeming to read his doubtful reaction, Yoongi lifted his hands. “There’s nothing to worry about here. I’m talking about a wide-open, public place, lots of people. We could just...talk. I don’t know but I feel like you need an ear to listen.”His warm demeanor touched Taehyung’s heart all over again. He wanted to open up, to share the burden he carried.Yoongi was a psychologist, after all, as well as a fairly objective outsider to his life. This Sawon-fostered friendship might be an answer to the ache, the longing in his heart that had led him to tears in the first place.But by the same token, mixing socially with an alpha who wasn’t his husband—even in innocence—swirled with the same type of dangerous temptations that had tripped Jungkook. Never could Taehyung allow himself a waltz with temptation along that same pathway. If he did, then the damage to their relationship would be irrevocable.He couldn’t carry a blame of adultery on his shoulder.For his own untainted soul.Still, an analysis between Yoongi’s calm steadiness and Jungkook’s exciting charisma couldn’t help but be drawn. For the first time ever, Taehyung wondered about the benefits of a slow and easy day-to-day life.What would it be like to be married to an alpha who was less dynamic—more demure, less charismatic—more life centering?The answer came straight from him heart, in an instant of crystal-clear revelation; because Jungkook was the one Taehyung loved, and always would. His soul had recognized its twin the instant Moon caused their paths to cross.
There would be no other but Jungkook.
With that, Taehyung embraced the fact that a troubled marriage wasn’t something to discuss with Yoongi, be he a psychologist or not. Lord had used his friendship powerfully, and beautifully tonight.In coping with Taehyung’s greatest sorrow, Yoongi’s prayers had helped him find his faith and trust in Moon once more. Now, he needed to get busy doing the work of finding a way back to the alpha of his heart, the one he loved.Jeon Jungkook.To do that, Taehyung would need practical, trusted advice from an objective and uncomplicated source. He needed to find a way to rebuild himself without dangerous pathways stretching before him like Yoongi’s affection and ready care.Min Yoongi wouldn’t—and couldn’t—be the answer. Gratitude filled him, just the same. His intervention had opened doorways, directing his heart and intentions toward what needed to come next.Counseling—with someone Taehyung could be revealed to completely. The first person who came to mind is the one who had led the subsequent prayers of intervention tonight—Priest Hyungsik.For what had to be the hundredth time, the memory of Jungkook’s voice rang through his mind as well.
We can’t work on our relationship if we’re not together, Taehyung.
That much was true as well. Was Jungkook truly as remorseful as his letter had indicated?Taehyung needed to find out. Was the relationship with Jimin honestly finished? He cringed inwardly and his stomach bucked even considering the idea.That was another question Taehyung needed to have answered, because at this point he had no idea. He only knew he must return home full time, and do what he could to resuscitate his marriage. Doing so was the only way it would have a chance to survive.The decision came to him easily now. Tomorrow he would talk to Jungkook—face to face.Beyond that, Taehyung also made plans to call Priest Hyungsik and set up a meeting…as soon as possible. 🦢~~~~ 🦢 “I need to be up front with you, Jungkook, and let you know I’ve started to counsel Taehyung as well.”“You have?”Just moments ago, Jungkook had begun his second counseling session with Priest Hyungsik. They sat side by side, in matching easy chairs at the pastoral offices of KKOF Foundation. Jungkook stopped short after Priest Hyungsik delivered the news.“Beyond that, I want to assure you, as I’ve assured him, that anything you say here is strictly private and will never be shared. He’s aware that you and I are meeting as well.”“Good. I’m glad he knows. I couldn’t stand seeing him hurt like that. Every morning, I find his eyes puffy and red. And my alpha howls at me for doing this to our mate. I couldn’t sleep at night knowing Taehyung is in other room, probably crying himself to sleep. WE had become these strangers in our home. I want to hold him. To ask how is he? How was his day? To hold him in my arms. To rest in his lap. To get on my knees and apologize. If I have to do this for the rest of my life, I will gladly stay on my knees for all the years that were left of this life. And probably do this for the next nine lives as well. There is nothing for me if I couldn’t have Taehyung in it. If Taehyung would have hung me on a noose, or punched me, slapped me in public—it would have hurt less than this silence. When I see his face, it feels like a part of my soul is withering inch by inch. I want that smile back on his face, those twinkling in his eyes. It hurts like hell to see him like this. Slowly withering away. And I’m the reason. I cannot repay you for telling him to move in our home. Without your help it wouldn’t have been possible. I know I hurt him beyond repair. I took his trust and scarred it. I’m glad he is willing to give me a second chance. That’s all I need to...that gives me a hope.”Priest Hyungsik’s smile dawned. “Very good. Remember what I told you from the start—the proof of your character is how you rise after you fall. I want you to keep that in mind as we move forward. It may sound like a simple platitude to say none of us is without sin, and that every single one of us fails, and every single one of us needs forgiveness, but it’s true. And you can be completely upfront. I don’t want to be a judge, I want to encourage and support. I’m a sinner, too, and I’ve made some horrendous mistakes. We all do. We all will.”Jungkook relaxed, crossing his legs and eying Priest Hyungsik. The Sawon leader was in his early forties, with the kind features of a favorite father figure and a heart to match. Jungkook felt good about being here and being open. The disclaimers helped, sure, but in Priest Hyungsik’s company, he didn’t fear being condemned. Instead, he knew he was being offered a loving hand and objective ears.“It’s good to have him back home,” Jungkook offered, settling back in the chair.“I’ll bet.”“I know it takes tremendous trust on his part to even be under the same roof with me right now, but he’s trying, and that’s all I can expect.”“I think the letter in which you wrote your heart was a good start.”“I don’t know. He hasn’t said much about it. He’s so quiet, and so hesitant. I wish I could get some kind of an idea of what he wants. I wish I knew he still cares and still has feelings for me.”“He’s back home, Jungkook. That says something pretty strong. You’re not sharing a room, I assume.”Jungkook twitched with embarrassment but fought against its power. “We both agreed to that. I’m in the spare room across the hall, and that’s perfectly fine as we work things through. I couldn’t let him sleep in the spare room.”Leaning forward, propping his elbows on his knees, Priest Hyungsik delivered a piercing look rife with understanding and compassion. “Jungkook, I can feel how much you want things back. You’re sincere and emphatic about saving your marriage, and that’s going to make all the difference. I hate to say give it time when that’s the last thing you probably want to hear, but…”Jungkook picked up the thread of that dangling sentence. “...but it’s the truth. I know, I know. But, it kills me not to sleep next to Taehyung’s warmth and his scent filling my soul. Sometimes I end up walking to his door and stand outside—for hours—only for the sound of his soft snores. Sometimes I focus on his breathing and delve in the calmness of it. It hurts...right here.” Jungkook punched his chest and closed his eyes.Hyungsik smiled at his frustration. “Here’s something you might consider while you’re waiting.”Jungkook studied Priest Hyungsik in a meaningful silence.“Don’t just use this time apart to focus on Taehyung. Use this opportunity to search yourself as well. Are you as fulfilled, right here and right now, as you were just two or three years ago? If not, find out why. What wreaked havoc on your peace of mind, and your marriage, and your faith that led you to this point?”Guilt seasoned Jungkook’s uneasy reaction to that question.As though reading Jungkook’s discomfort, Priest Hyungsik shook his head. “I’m not talking about Jimin here. I’m talking about getting rid of what led you and Taehyung to this crisis point to begin with. Think of it as getting rid of the garbage. It makes room for treasure, Jungkook. What do you treasure? In the deepest part of yourself, what do you want your life to be? Figure that out and the rest will follow.”The questions formed an interesting challenge to take home and think about.“Be thoughtful about it, and take care, but don’t be afraid to raise those issues with Taehyung as well. Right now, your instinct is to treat him with kid gloves because of what’s happened. That’s understandable, and the correct instinct. But don’t be afraid to talk to him and initiate a conversation—maybe even blunt—discussion. At some point during the coming week, before we meet again, make an opportunity to sit down with Taehyung and talk to him about what he’s feeling.”Jungkook stood fast and shook his head. Stuffing his hands into the pockets of his slacks, he paced to a nearby window. Just beyond, tree leaves danced in a humid breeze. Sun beat down and the sky was a blinding blue. “I’m not so sure about that, Priest Hyungsik. What I did to him was the worst kind of betrayal. If I were him I would never forgive me. So, I want him to talk when he wants to, not force him into something. He is not ready and my alphas knows it. Not yet, anyway. He’s not really in a place where he wants to talk.”“Regardless, that’s my challenge to you. And you’re right, it might go well, or it might not. Your first conversations about getting back to where you were are bound to have some painful growth spurts, but they’re also necessary.” Hyungsik grinned. “Sorry. But I’m not letting you skip out on that one.”Jungkook groaned, already dreading the idea.“When it gets tough, remember who you’re becoming. Keep faith in what you’re doing now. Trust Taehyung to see you’re not just working on winning him back, like some kind of a prize. You’re reforming from a point of sincerity and love that he’ll have no choice but to acknowledge your sincerest efforts…in time.”Jungkook turned away from the window and looked back at his pastor. “Back to that again, eh?”“Afraid so. You said you’re back to praying each morning?”Jungkook nodded. Doing so provided a lifeline to sanity.“Let me give you a few scripture passages that I think will help.” Priest Hyungsik reached into the drawer of his desk and lifted out a pen and some paper. He began to jot down notes and accompanying verses from the holy book.“Beyond that, maintain whatever trust you build with Taehyung by never letting it waver. If these sessions move forward in a positive way, and if both of you agree to it, maybe you could attend together. It’s another goal to keep in mind. Be together.”Jungkook nodded and accepted the paper Priest Hyungsik extended, but he didn’t think either goal was even remotely achievable.“And Jungkook...you’re going for the ultrasound tomorrow, right?”“I could never miss it for the world. And that brings us back to where I should thank /you/ for talking Taehyung into allowing me to accompany him.”Hyungsik smiled, “I never want future Taehyung to live with regrets because his past self succumbed to anger.” 🦢~~~~ 🦢 The door between Dr. Lee’s waiting room and examination area swung open. A sweet young nurse waited at the threshold with a chart in hand and a welcoming smile in place. “Taehyung? You can come on back.”Nervous flutters beat against Taehyung’s insides. He set aside the magazine he had been paging through and stood. Seated next to him, Jungkook looked up in question. “Should I come with you?”Taehyung had given him the time of his visitation and he found the alpha waiting in the reception for him when he arrived. A few months ago, it would have brought a smile to his face but right now he only felt thankful that Jungkook came.“No, not yet. They’ll call you in after my preliminary work-up and after Dr. Lee has a chance to examine me.” When he walked toward the nurse, he could have sworn he felt the touch of Alpha’s gaze upon his retreating back.The visit began with a typical height/weight/blood pressure screening. The nurse didn’t say much beyond typical pleasantries…until she completed the blood pressure check. At that point, she frowned. “Your numbers are still high, but we’ll see what the doctor has to say when she sees you.” Tapping notes into a laptop, the nurse continued. “I know your bladder is full for the ultrasound, but did you bring a first-morning sample?”Taehyung nodded and handed off a wrapped, plastic vial. A strip-dip later, along came another frown. “Your levels are good, except for the proteins. They seem high.”Taehyung’s nerve endings started to skip and hum. “That’s obviously not good.”“No…not if it continues, but again, you’ve been a patient of ours for years, and you’ve never had these symptoms before. We’ll let Dr. Lee take a look and move forward from here, but don’t get too worried at this point. These things happen, and we just need to be on top of it.”The nurse smiled in kind assurance. Instinctively Taehyung placed a gentle hand against the swell of his womb. He was coming along so well and finally getting over morning sickness. He didn’t want to consider the possibility of something being wrong with the baby, or the pregnancy. No way could he handle such a thing.Minutes later, ensconced in a small exam room that was warmed by a space heater, Taehyung stripped down to his underwear and tucked his arms into the sleeves of the blue and white flowered hospital gown. Next to the exam table stood the ultra sound machine. Taehyung nibbled his lower lip, trying hard not to worry.Dr. Lee entered the room not long after, carrying Taehyung’s file. Lab coat snapping, stethoscope tucked into the right front pocket, Dr. Lee’s commanding but caring presence filled the room immediately.Following a brief update on Taehyung’s overall health, she went through her warnings. “Your blood pressure is high again, Taehyung. I’m becoming a little concerned here.”A chill worked its way clear through to his bones. “What do you mean?”Dr. Lee set aside Taehyung’s chart. “It might mean nothing. You’ve always presented as a healthy, strong patient. You haven’t had a history of hypertension before now, so what concerns me is what’s referred to as gestational hypertension. It can lead to a medical condition with you having premature labor or developmental issues for the baby. There was an elevation in the proteins of your urine as well, which again, is something I’m going to keep an eye on. Don’t worry too much about it at this point, but I’m going to keep on top of it and gauge what to do as your pregnancy progresses.”She seemed non-alarmist.Taehyung looked at her, his eyes unblinking.Jieun chuckled, “Don’t worry Taehyung. That’s the mantra you should hold on to.”That was reassuring—even if her words and the latest results of Taehyung’s lab work didn’t quite synchronize with that measured, professional sense of calm.Dr. Lee continued. “I’m not going to medicate yet, but I encourage you to make certain you eat well and exercise. You need to meditate and concentrate on your mental health. Hypertension is not good for you as well. Also, I realize this pregnancy means a lot to you and Jungkook. I hope that truth doesn’t have you feeling overly stressed and anxious.”Dr. Lee thought Taehyung was stressed because of the pregnancy? Better.Dr. Lee lifted Taehyung’s chart once again and gave it a quick glance. “You’re thirty-three which is beyond the average age for having a first child, but again, I have no concerns about that because you always present extremely healthy. Let’s see how the baby is doing to confirm everything is moving along the way it should. After that, we can discuss some plans to minimize my concerns.”Taehyung shivered outright, and not because of the too-thin protection of his cotton dressing gown. “Jungkook is in the waiting room. He wanted to be here for the ultrasound.” Saying the words, feeling the emotion of them, made him smile in a tremulous way.“He wants to hear the baby’s heartbeat.” Dr. Lee gave Taehyung a wide smile and a nod. “Let’s get Dad in here.”A short time later, Dr. Lee’s nurse led Jungkook into the exam room. His eyes darted eagerly from Taehyung to the doctor, and he stepped up to the exam table, resting a hand on Taehyung’s arm. His fingers trembled against his husband’s cold skin.“Jungkook, it’s good to see you,” Dr. Lee greeted. “Congratulations.”“Thanks. It’s good to see you, too.” Jungkook gave Taehyung a lingering, tender look.The ultrasound machine stood ready, and Dr. Lee assisted Taehyung to a prone position, ready to get to work.She started explaining, “The ultrasound exam uses high-frequency sound waves to scan the abdomen and pelvic cavity, creating a picture of the baby and the placenta.” And slid the hem of Taehyung’s gown up to his tender nipples, exposing his slightly rounded stomach. The doctor squirted a blob of clear gel onto Taehyung’s skin, and Taehyung flinched a tad at the coolness of the liquid.Next, Dr. Lee took possession of a triangular shaped hand-held device with a metal roller-ball at the end. “I know the gel feels kind of gooey and cold, but it acts as a conductor for the sound waves.”Jungkook took hold of Taehyung’s hand. He squeezed tight without a second thought. His eyes remained fixed on Dr. Lee’s motions as she began to run the receptor tool slowly and evenly across Taehyung’s stomach.“The sound waves bounce off bones and tissue returning back to the transducer to generate black and white images of the baby—and…there we are!” Dr. Lee’s face split into a smile and her eyes sparkled. That reassured Taehyung tremendously. He had to lie still, but he craned his neck as best he could in order to see their baby for the first time.Jungkook, too, leaned as far forward as he could, taking in the images on the monitor before them. There was a blob that moved like a heart beating in red and blue color.Taehyung cried out softly and felt tears build.“Wow.” Taehyung blinked, and he glanced at Jungkook because they had spoken the word in perfect, joyful unison.The awe Taehyung saw in Jungkook’s eyes turned radiant, flowing from his spirit into his. Taehyung experienced a stirring wave of something…something beautiful…that pushed beauty and joy through what was a sooty, black covering of sediment in his soul.Jungkook bent his head and a stray teardrop hit their joined hands. The teardrop acted upon his heart, leaving him choked up as well.Dr. Lee, who had probably witnessed such interactions hundreds of times before, smiled indulgently and continued on in a businesslike manner. “I see good development of the arms and spine and legs. And look…there’s the heart, and it’s pumping along just great.” A few more swipes of the device and Dr. Lee nodded with satisfaction. “Normal head and organ growth. Your baby seems to be developing just as expected.”Recovered and enthralled, Jungkook seemed to study every flickering image depicted on the monitor as Dr. Lee took a few shots of the ultra sound. Carried into the moment of discovering their child for the first time, so did Taehyung. Shortly thereafter, Dr. Lee punched a few buttons on the machine; a whirring sound filled the air along with the scrape and zip of paper being printed.“Give me just a second or two and you’ll have a couple of souvenirs,” she said.While they waited for pictures to print, Dr. Lee wiped excess gel from Taehyung’s abdomen then helped him reassemble so he could sit up again. “We can do a 3D image at six months or so if you’d like. We can also let you know the sex of the baby if you’re interested.”Jungkook and Taehyung exchanged knowing looks and smiles as naturally as if they weren’t thrust into the midst of a marital nightmare.“We’re going to wait to find out,” Taehyung answered.“Good enough. Here you go.” Dr. Lee presented them with two pictures of the ultrasound images and launched into a brief explanation of what they both were looking at.“Keep in mind what I told you about your blood pressure, Taehyung. Also, I want to see you in two or three weeks instead of waiting a full month. Just to reiterate, I’m not overly worried about anything I’ve seen, but when high blood pressure and high urine proteins are discovered, I find it’s prudent to keep a closer eye on the pregnancy as it progresses. I just want to be able to preempt any problems.”The reassurance worked for Taehyung, but Jungkook’s head snapped up, and his focus zeroed in on Taehyung with palpable concern. Taehyung lost himself in the Alpha’s eyes before he could even stop himself.“What?” The sound that came out of Jungkook’s mouth was borderline scared and worried.“No worries, Jungkook,” Dr. Lee interjected. “Taehyung and the baby seem to be perfectly fine, but I’d prefer to err on the side of caution because this is his first pregnancy. Set up the appointment on your way out, Taehyung, and we’ll see you soon. Come on, Jungkook, we’ll let him get dressed.” 🦢~~~~ 🦢 The day was summertime perfect. Temperatures hovered at around seventy-five degrees; clear, dry air and a cloudless blue sky stretched above them. Following the appointment, Jungkook had suggested they eat lunch at Taehyung’s favorite corner-side bistro, Mama-Mia, a romantic restaurant located at the heart of Seoul’s business district. There, seated at a small, glass-topped table, Jungkook drank in the atmosphere and savored the moments he had just spent with his mate…and their unborn child.A soft breeze rippled Taehyung’s hair. Jungkook knew its silky-soft texture, its lavender-shampoo scent. The cardigan of his pale-yellow dress shirt caught the breeze just right and caused the cashmere fabric to inch down his shoulder, revealing the shell beneath—and slim, tan shoulders.On instinct, Jungkook reached out, capturing the edge of the cardigan between his first and index fingers. Using a gentle tug, he restored the material and looked into Taehyung’s eyes.What he found there was in no way heartening. Taehyung looked at him with an expression of surprise at the tender gesture.How sad was it that a small display of affection startled his husband?They studied meal selections and Jungkook peeked at Taehyung over the top of his menu. “Can I ask a personal question?”Taehyung nodded slowly.Jungkook delivered a smile that came right from his heart, and he ached for Taehyung to feel every ounce of its warmth. “Do you have any weird cravings?”Taehyung burst out laughing, and the reaction took Jungkook by surprise. Taehyung, too, judging by the way he quickly lowered his eyes and fidgeted. “The best thing in the world right now is celery sticks and peanut butter.”Now Jungkook laughed. “That doesn’t count. You’ve always loved celery sticks and peanut butter.”“Best protein boost there is, Hase.”Did Taehyung realize he was joking with him? Did he realize he called Jungkook hase by easy habit? Did his skin went a bit rosy? Did he realize they traveled the length of a marriage together—full of sharing, love, and a rich, beautiful history?“I loved being with you today,” Jungkook said, as easily. If only it was that easy because Taehyung’s scent changed from lavender to citrus.Jungkook felt a jolt of pain in his heart as Taehyung averted his eyes from him and focused on the vase siting in the faraway corner.Daffodils and lilies.Eerie silence.It was never difficult to bring up with a topic to talk between them before.The waitress stepped up, forestalling any kind of a reply, which filled Jungkook with frustration. They placed their orders and spent long minutes pouring over the black and white images of their baby, carefully reviewing each mega-pixel, exclaiming over every discernable feature.But, as suddenly as storm clouds on the move, Taehyung had looked at him, eyes wide, seeming to realize they were straying into comfort, and intimacy. He closed up after that, focusing quietly on the crowd around them. Their food arrived and Jungkook watched him pick at his Caesar salad served with a side of crispy, fresh-from-the-oven garlic bread.Taehyung’s silent retreat continued through the length of their meal until Jungkook could take it no longer.“You know?” Jungkook spoke soft and low, discouragement slicking his words. “Sometimes I catch glimpses. Glimpses of what we used to be. And those glimpses are so beautiful they break my heart.” He sighed outright and stood. “My heart is empty, Taehyung. It’s empty of everything but you. Believe it, or not. But it’s the truth. My alpha yearn for you. I yearn for you. It wasn’t as difficult in the start as it is now. I miss us. The love we shared. If only...” Jungkook paused. He was doing the same thing he said he wouldn’t do. Forcing Taehyung.“I’ll go up front and settle the bill. I’ve got to get back to the office. I wish I could stay longer...”Taehyung swallowed hard and looked away. “Thanks for being with me today.”His tone conceded a level of quiet sadness that lay out in equal proportion to Jungkook’s disappointment at having to leave him right now.Taehyung looked at Jungkook when Jungkook cupped his cheeks. Vibrations of intensity rolled between them like sonic waves where his fingers caressed his naked skin, mapping out the state of their relationship just as surely as the ultrasound procedure had crafted the image of their baby.Taehyung wanted to lean in the warmth. But...it was momentary.A breeze, soft and warm, worked through the air.A few errant strands of hair drifted across Taehyung’s face, rippling against his lips. A poignant ache hit Jungkook hard. He wanted nothing more than to glide his fingertips against his cheek, and stroke back that swirling ribbon of hair.He wanted to caress his cheeks but...Before the debacle with Jimin, such a gesture would have come to him naturally. Now, denied by his own folly, Jungkook could only stare, and wish. He cursed himself a bit more for what he did to their relationship. He stepped around the table, bent smoothly and decided to risk the chance of following through on the impulse. He slid a pair of fingertips against the drifting curl and tucked it back into place.Sure enough, the aroma of lavender lifted to him. Mind-flooding warmth, a solid lick of desire, went to war against the complacency he had once felt—the routine and established norm of their marriage. The shell-shape of Taehyung’s ear was exposed. Into it he whispered, “I miss you so much, Taehyung.”Taehyung closed his eyes. His chest lifted and fell in a telling display of emotion and a dribble of moisture squeezed free from the corner of his eye, moving down his cheek. It cost Jungkook everything he had, but he stepped slowly away.“I guess...I’ll see you at...home.” His whispered words were shaky as tears filled his eyes.Affected.Jungkook gave his shoulder a last squeeze, all but willing him to hang on. To show some spark. To fight for the years they had invested in one another and the relationship they had been given by nothing less than a blessing.After paying the lunch tab, Jungkook walked the few short blocks to his office building at a brisk clip, thinking and praying.
I’m following through on the promptings as best I can, but I can only take this journey to the halfway point. Taehyung has to want to want me as well. He has to let me know what he wants…and if he still feels I’m worth trusting—and loving—again...I will try harder. Each and every day. For the rest of my life.
🦢~~~~ 🦢 Following his most recent counseling sessions with Priest Hyungsik, Jungkook realized the first steps he needed to take toward salvaging his marriage couldn’t be toward Taehyung. They needed to be toward himself, to purify his soul of the laments that tormented him whilst the storm that strayed him away from his mate.So, the first weekend after Taehyung’s homecoming Jungkook made plans to accompany him to KKOF. He didn’t ask if he could. He didn’t make a big production out of it. Simply, at nine-thirty on that Sunday morning, he made sure he was downstairs in the kitchen, ready and waiting to leave.During his time with Seokjin and Jihaan, Taehyung had attended services and so had Jungkook. They sat together but arrived and departed separately. That separation hurt, but Jungkook expected nothing more, so he didn’t question the omega or add pressure to the situation.Today would be a litmus test of sorts as to whether Taehyung would even attempt solidarity now that they were living under the same roof.Seated at the dinette table, he sipped coffee and looked up expectantly when Taehyung crossed the threshold. Taehyung wore a simple brown loose fitted pants and long beige t-shirt combination that, in its simplicity, looked absolutely beautiful on him. His abdomen was growing rounder. His hair danced loose around his forehead. Walking into the kitchen, he tucked an offering envelope into his messenger bag and zipped it shut.That’s when he registered Jungkook’s presence and intent.His mouth opened slightly, and his eyes went wide. The click of his fliflops came to an abrupt stop against the ceramic tile, and he glanced briefly into Jungkook’s eyes before nervously fidgeting a slice of hair into place behind his ear. He paused at a counter by the sink, eying the coffee pot, which still flavored the air.Taehyung did that gesture only when he was nervous. It stung Jungkook that Taehyung was uncomfortable in his presence. His nails dug in his fists. The red angry intends—a proof of his infidelity to the most beautiful person he had ever known.He stared at his husband who was fidgeting with the loop of the messenger bag on his shoulder.“Do you mind if I take you to Sawon?” Jungkook asked, ready for the rejection. But he gotta try.Taehyung kept to his own space and opened the dishwasher. While Jungkook watched, Taehyung placed a few stray glasses inside as well as a plate and some cutlery. He kept his head down. “No, I suppose not.”Taehyung reached into a glass front cabinet above the sink and pulled down a mug, poured himself a cup of coffee and steam curled upward from the surface. He blew at the wisps, inhaling deep of the hearty French Roast Jungkook had set to brew.“Thanks for this,” he said quietly.“No problem.”Taehyung shrugged and took a sip. “Seriously. You’ve always done lots of little things that mean a lot to me. I never really gave you much credit, did I? Or let you know how much I appreciate them.”Gratitude mixed with hope in a combination that was nearly his undoing.Jungkook cleared his throat. “Are you in the mood for me to make us brunch after Sawon?”It had always been somewhat of a tradition for them to indulge in a leisurely meal after services. Typically, bacon, eggs and toast would be consumed in the restful atmosphere of their home before diving in to whatever Sunday activities awaited—family dinners maybe, or perhaps nothing more than sitting together on their patio with an extra cup of coffee at their elbows and a sun kissed, leisurely afternoon stretching ahead. Those were his favorite—the restful hours they spent talking or just listening to the birds and the wind song that slipped through thick, heavy tree branches.“That’d be nice.”Jungkook joined Taehyung at the dishwasher. Stepping from behind, he placed his used mug inside and leaned close—for just an instant. “Two eggs, scrambled, crispy bacon?”At his recitation of Taehyung’s favorite combination, the omega stilled. Though he avoided his eyes, Jungkook felt his resistance—and his longing.“I’d like that a lot.”But then Taehyung tried to smile that didn’t reach his eyes and Jungkook felt heaviness settle in his heart.Jungkook cursed himself.
If only.
🦢~~~~ 🦢 “The point of today’s gathering is this: we must decrease, and our faith might increase. The words embody the resolve that goes behind that statement. Crowds gathered around...... Do you see? A soul must incline to the faith...so it might increase.” Priest Hyungsik paused there, looking over the assemblage. Jungkook forgot about everything else—his problems—office—and lost himself in the readings. “But how does this apply to us? How does that statement apply in the here and now?”Priest Hyungsik shrugged and walked up the main aisle of the Sawon, seeming to look into the eyes and faces of as many flocks as possible. “Allow me to illustrate. The other day, I stood in line at a food court in the mall. That’s always a fun exercise, you know…”Laughter rippled, Jungkook’s included.“Well, while I waited for my order, I happened to overhear a conversation that took place at a nearby table. Two elderly people, obviously mates for life, sat across from each other, sharing some Chinese food.”Smiles and a gentle flow of murmurs circuited the congregation.“What struck me about that ordinary scene were the words I heard. The omega spoke first, talking about how frustrated she was about something and how she felt somewhat worthless, and degraded by the present circumstances in her life.”Service attendees quieted and Jungkook noticed the way they now listened intently.Priest Hyungsik continued. “I don’t know specific details. I only know her sorrow. I waited in line for my orange chicken, and I watched her husband reach across the tabletop to take her hands in his. He looked her deep in the eyes and said, ‘You’re a remarkable woman, Hannah. You offer so much to everyone we love. You’re selfless and loving and kind.’ At that point, I watched the woman’s eyes fill with tears, and she shook her head, saying, ‘How do you know all of this?’ His answer? He spoke not only with words but his eyes screamed love and affection for his omega, ‘Because my heart knows you; because I...love you the way you allow me.’”
I love you the way you allow me...
That line stuck in Jungkook’s mind. Taehyung allowed him to love him in everyway he wanted and what he got in return.Betrayal from the person he trusted with his life.Jungkook wanted to punish himself for succumbing to the desires that rose within him from nowhere and spread like wildfire. He was the most astute person who kicked his own life in the guts and was now asking for forgiveness of it all.Jungkook closed his eyes and all he could see was Taehyung in those red-rimmed eyes, the sorrow itched on his beautiful face. He couldn’t just bring himself to look at the hurt on his face like that every time he closed his eyes.His gaze found his husband discreetly and noticed the way Taehyung pressed his lips tightly together. The omega swallowed and looked down, avoiding Jungkook when he turned his attention fully on Taehyung and his focus on him. Jungkook didn’t blame the omega for being moved. The beauty of the scenario worked through the congregation like a force field.“Brothers and sisters, the alpha didn’t take pride in her sorrow...he felt her in his soul...he lifted her up. He sensed her heartache and he affirmed her. He decreased that she might increase.” Priest Hyungsik paused there, taking a long, silent survey of those in his Sawon. “What better, more powerful reflection of love and commitment, could there be? Remember...live not by word, but by deeds. Live not in thoughts and wishes, but in actions—actions that are resolute, committed, and in keeping with the love.”The sermon concluded, and Jungkook stared ahead. His world came to a standstill as the sermon spelled out a clear-cut course of action—a battle plan by which to win back the heart, love, and trust of his husband, Taehyung. He clung to one objective alone, earning Taehyung back by uplifting him.No matter the difficulties ahead, he needed to treat his husband like the precious treasure he was.If only...it wasn’t too late. 🦢~~~~ 🦢 🦢~~~~ 🦢
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
After Sawon, Jungkook prodded Taehyung up the stairs of their home, requesting he change into more comfortable, casual clothing while the Alpha cooked.“It’s gorgeous outside,” Jungkook observed further. “We can eat on the patio, if you’d like.”The idea enticed Taehyung. He nodded his agreement before trotting up to their bedroom…he performed an automatic correction…his…bedroom. Refusing to fall into despair, he peeled out of his heels and dresses.Taehyung replaced his stringed pants and blouse with a loose fitting sleeveless shirt that floated generously over a pair of slip on shorts. When he positioned the waistband, he registered its snug fit and draped the hemline of his shirt over the top. He really needed to do some shopping and start investing in some maternity fashions. The idea left him to smile as he combed his hair. After donning a pair of sandals, he rejoined Jungkook.The brunch Jungkook prepared was delicious.They didn’t say much while they ate. Instead, they indulged in silence. They savored the way a late Sunday morning warmed into early afternoon, and that was more than enough.The section of the patio where they sat featured a glass and wicker table with matching chairs and an overhang that provided coolness and shade. Chaise lounge chairs rested atop rust-brick pavers, and Taehyung drank in the serenity of the moment. He sank deep into the large, comfortably cushioned seat and closed his eyes with a sigh as summer breezes danced against his cheeks.His hand was draped against the armrest of the chair where he sat. When he felt the warm brush and squeeze of Jungkook taking slow possession, he didn’t open his eyes albeit his body went tense.Part of Taehyung wanted to refute the alpha. Boyishly charming and sweet…authentic…his efforts today felt as though he were attempting to court him all over again.Taehyung didn’t want that. He wanted anger. He wanted recrimination. Most of all, he wanted Jungkook to feel the same kind of desolated pain that he battled every single day since…
Unburden yourself to the one I gave you. He waits for you.
“Tell me what you’re thinking, Taehyung.” Jungkook never called him swan anymore.Taehyung missed the endearment very much. Granted, he had told the alpha unequivocally to never do so again…but still, he missed the tenderness and automatic affection behind that treasured nickname.“I’d rather not. It’s so beautiful just to rest right now and not to think about…”Jungkook’s hold on his hand increased. “Please. It’ll be OK.”Taehyung didn’t reply. The sharp, distinctive chip of the swan couple, swimming in the pond, weakened his resolve to be standoffish.They mate for life, right?“I…” Taehyung choked. A sob shook through him, but he stifled the reaction as best he could because Jungkook maintained steady hold of his hand. “I feel like such a failure. I feel like something…or someone…who’s cheap and easily replaced. I wanted to be the one for you. To be your mate was a gift to me. Something I revered. Felt proud of. I vowed to be the only person who would share your life, and know everything about you—all the best and all the worst. You vowed that to me, too, but you came upon...someone else.” He couldn’t speak Jimin’s name. Taehyung couldn’t give the other omega that kind of power. “You let someone else have the...k—key to your heart. A key I believed belonged to me alone. Why wasn’t that enough? What did I do wrong? Why wasn’t ‘I’ enough?”Jungkook shook his head. He pressed a fingertip against his lips, the gesture willing Taehyung to silence. Jungkook’s fingertip trembled as he wiped the trail of tears from Taehyung’s cheeks.“Taehyung, no. Please don’t take on that burden. It’s not right, and it’s most definitely not fair to you. My words would never suffice the love I feel for you. The love I have for you in my heart.”Taehyung turned his head so Jungkook’s touch no longer interfered. “Don’t say that. It takes two, Jungkook. I know that. It takes two to make a marriage, and it takes two to break a marriage.”“I’m keenly aware. What’s more?...I’m afraid.”Jungkook’s quiet admission inspired Taehyung to look his way—albeit with trepidation. “Jeon Jungkook isn’t afraid of anything.”“Yes, I am.” His look didn’t waver. “I’m afraid I’ve lost you forever. I’m afraid no matter what I do, I’ll never get you back—or us back. Not completely. I’m afraid I’ll never find a way to make you look at me the way you used to. Most of all I’m afraid no matter what I do I’ll never earn back the automatic way you used to believe in me and trust me.”Jungkook had a point. Taehyung didn’t bother trying to deny it. He propped his elbows against the tabletop and watched him—working to remain steady and unaffected by his sincerity and regret.Jungkook’s posture remained strained, but he kept on going. “I made a huge mistake, and I ruined something beautiful. Something I prized. Something vitally important. How can I make amends? How can I reaffirm everything I feel for you? Is there a way, Taehyung? If there is, name it, and it’s done. You may not believe that right now, but it’s true. I want your forgiveness so badly I can taste it. Taste it in every word I speak.” He paused very deliberately. “The words I wrote to you in that letter weren’t meant to placate or gloss over what I’ve done. They were an outpouring from my heart. I don’t know how many more ways I can try.”The words opened a doorway. The note.Taehyung had never broached the topic beyond a simple though heartfelt thank you. Jungkook deserved credit for crafting such a beautiful piece. Taehyung wanted to give him that, but a wounded heart still bled, making the process difficult.“The letter.” Taehyung stopped there, his throat too constricted to continue. He breathed out through pursed lips. He steeled himself and tried again. “The letter was beautiful, Jungkook. That’s probably another thing I should have acknowledged to you. The note you wrote to me is a large part of the reason why I can attempt to move back here, and try.”Jungkook settled back and watched Taehyung.Taehyung’s lower lip trembled.Jungkook watched as Taehyung bit his lower lip with his front teeth, gnawed on it. He so wanted badly to pull that lip out but restrained himself from doing so.“But it’s like I told you before, I can’t just step past what’s happened and run to you. I can’t.” Taehyung hauled in a ragged breath, wishing the battle to reclaim his marriage weren’t so difficult and complex. A Godly, picture-perfect life, had disintegrated without him even realizing it. “We need to give this time. We’re trying.”The love in his eyes, the silence Jungkook kept as he waited, touched Taehyung deeply. Taehyung saw into his spirit, and the intimacy of doing so ripped away Taehyung’s attempt to maintain cool control. He couldn’t keep his lips from faltering and betraying the depth of his emotion.“That’s the logical answer, isn’t it?” Jungkook shook his head. “Time heals all wounds. Or does it?”His sigh was quiet—restrained—yet it carried through the fast warming atmosphere. He stood and carried the breakfast dishes inside.Taehyung followed.At the kitchen sink, Taehyung passed by Jungkook, and an ocean of regret filled time and space.And his silence punctuated the moment.“This is exactly what I’m talking about.” Jungkook continued. “I wonder if you’ll never know what you mean to me, no matter how many notes I write, no matter how many ways I try to reclaim your love. You’ll never have the same degree of trust, and that’s my fault. I’m trying to find a way to reach you, but I don’t see how it can happen. You’re gentle about it, but you keep shutting me out, and I don’t know how to move past the barriers. Once again, though, that’s my fault for blind stupidity.”The declarations left Taehyung stunned. Was Jungkook so broken that he was writing them off? Not out of a lack of love, but because he viewed their circumstances as being irreparable? More confused than ever, Taehyung loaded dishes while Jungkook rinsed. Frustration lifted to the surface.“I can’t help that, Jungkook. I still can’t get my head around the fact that beautiful people are all over the roadmap of your life. Beautiful, charming alphas, omegas have been part of your career from the day we met. I understand that. They’re a part of your business. Never have I felt threatened. Never have you been tempted. Why him? Why now? What did I do—or not do? What was wrong with us? What changed? What happened that he turned your head—and your heart? Those are the questions that keep coming back to haunt me. They throw daggers at any attempt I make to move beyond.” His tone had escalated. The dish loading went a bit more abrupt than Taehyung had intended.A plate landed too hard against the storage rack and split into pieces. Taehyung let out a frustrated exclamation and moved in jerky motions to dispose of the broken stoneware. Jungkook caught hold of his shoulders and gently turned him away from the cleanup. The Alpha cupped a hand beneath his chin to still him completely and direct his gaze to his own.His gaze held Taehyung’s strong and unyielding. “He never had my heart, Taehyung. What he stirred in me is an emotion I can only define as overly-excited lust. There was physical desire, but beyond that was an energy, a chemical that ran rampant when we were together…I don’t know how else to explain it...suffice to say it was wrong. Dead wrong, and not at all what I truly wanted.” He directed Taehyung away from the cracked dish pieces and began picking up shards of stoneware from the bottom of the dishwasher. “I’ve learned my lesson, but how will you ever know that for sure? There was nothing more extraordinary about Jimin than anyone else I’ve chosen to represent in the past. There was nothing you did wrong.”Taehyung propped a hip against the island of their kitchen so he’d remain on his feet. Right now his legs were no more stable than long grass tossed in the wind. He had to cut Jungkook off. This conversation was destroying him on so many levels. Just as suddenly, though, the realization dawned that they had been carried into having out this ugly situation—best to go all the way with it and try to push through. They needed to find out what awaited them on the other side of a messy, jagged mountain.“Something obviously went lacking in our marriage that led you to him. What was it, Jungkook? What was it that lacked in me?”Jungkook dumped the ruined plate into the garbage. Returning to Taehyung, he took hold of his hand and led him to the kitchenette where he pulled out a chair and urged him to sit. Taking the chair across from him, Jungkook maintained a tight hold of his hand across the top of the table. “Do you honestly think you lack something? You are the most precious thing this universe had given to me. You are my treasure Taehyung, treasure I would protect over my life. Do you think it’s any one thing that leads to a situation like ours?”A situation like ours.How clinical to distill seven—almost eight years of marriage into a situation. Taehyung clenched his jaw. They needed to carry through on this discussion, but doing so taxed him to the extreme. “I let you down. Somehow, I must have let you down. What did I do? Or not do?”“You didn’t let me down, Taehyung. That’s what you need to realize, if nothing else. I got complacent. You got complacent. To a degree, that can’t help but happen in a long-term, committed relationship. Maybe we didn’t put enough emphasis on being together. Maybe we didn’t consciously refresh or renew. Sometimes I think the process of daily living is more dangerous to a marriage than anything else. I got comfortable. I got lazy. I’d put you off—and you’d put me off. Not out of spite, or because we didn’t care. It was simply easier that way. A routine of convenience came over us. We took on a mind-set that makes it difficult to refuse excitement, or the sizzle that happens when something new enters your life in both a professional and a personal way.”“You mean someone,” Taehyung amended quickly, removing his hand from Jungkook’s grip. Taehyung drew up his other hand and laced his fingers together tight. Fleetingly he thought of Yoongi and the effect he had on Taehyung's needy heart. Confronting himself honestly, Taehyung had to admit how easy it had been to become ensnared by his ready affection and tender care…Had it been like that for Jungkook?Very slowly, Jungkook reached forward against the space between them. “It seems the circle is complete, and we’re right back where we started.” He slid his fingertips beneath Taehyung’s, loosening his death grip, easing his hands apart. Jungkook’s voice went to velvet, but that velvet was steeled by a resolve Taehyung saw clear through to his eyes. “Taehyung—all I want is a chance to show you how much you mean to me. You don’t lack anything, you didn’t do anything. It was I who sinned and I must pay profusely for it. Give me a chance, please...to prove to you that I love you. That I’m worthy of you.”Tears spilled over Taehyung’s lashes, beginning a slow, steady race down his cheeks. Jungkook’s own eyes were teary but he reached up and skimmed the pad of his thumb against Taehyung’s jaw. His own tears falling freely. Taehyung could tell by his attitude the gesture wasn’t meant to be seductive. This was a delivery of comfort, and an ache telegraphed by a simple and small piece of physical connection.“From this point forward will every 'I love you' feel like hypocrisy?” Jungkook touched his cheek now, lifting away teardrops along with small pieces of Taehyung’s pain. “Will every caress strike you as being false and phony? Will you always wonder if I’m thinking of someone else, even if I promise you that I’m not? All of that would be your right. I have no way to prove my sincerity to you but to show you that you’re my world. I’m yours Taehyung, yours to keep...don’t give myself back to me. I’m no one without you. If only...” A gut wrenching sob left Jungkook as he looked at Taehyung with nothing but red-rimmed eyes that held all the regret in the world and shivering hands that held onto Taehyung as if he was his world. "Give us a chance, that's the only thing I ask."Taehyung’s throat jammed tight as the impact of his words struck home. He shuddered with excess emotion and gulped, but nothing much helped steady him.“What I’ve done to you...is my failure. I dishonored our love, I broke your trust...everything we built together and that sickens me to the core. That’s the truth.”Just like that, Jungkook shouldered the entire burden of the mess they were in. That wasn’t right. Nor was it fair. Taehyung boiled with anger. His world rocked and shook to the core by the way Jungkook had floated into the arms, and passions, of someone else.Despite it all, Taehyung knew he needed to confront the truth. He had not been a good steward of their marriage either. Jungkook convicted himself, but once again, Taehyung realized his accountability was undeniable. That fact shook him and left him at a crossroads.
You didn’t step away—he did.
You didn’t seek out someone else—he did.
A troubling voice went to work in his mind, tempering the softness that bloomed—even as it shored up his pride and an embittered sense of self-righteousness.Jungkook moved close. In slow motion, he dipped his head. Taehyung froze, assailed by a blinding panic. Taehyung didn’t know what to do, or what to expect—but Jungkook didn’t kiss him. Instead, Jungkook slid his lips light and slow against his damp cheeks. He absorbed his tears in a gesture so soft, so amazing, Taehyung sighed before he could stop himself. Their combined warmth became something shared, full of a beautiful, stirring echo of all they had once been.That goading voice went promptly silent.He moved away. “If only I had remembered what a gift I’ve been given in you. If only I had continued to look after the two of us the way I was called to by our love, our shared bond and our vows.”Taehyung closed his eyes, afraid to reveal his vulnerability in the moment, afraid to let Jungkook see just how much he craved the love. Taehyung touched his own cheek. Before it disappeared, he wanted to capture forever the last traces of phantom touch and textures of his skin. He went weak, sinking against the curved back of the wooden chair.A new voice claimed his soul, loving and sure.
Casual behavior towards love leads to neglect. Neglect leads to demise. And the slow, steady demise of an anointed marriage is a sin just as much as the ultimate betrayal of seeking the arms of another.
That truth sent itchy disquiet through his body. Taehyung regained himself and wondered.Had Jungkook’s betrayal been ‘ultimate’?Had he forsaken everything with Jimin? All indications were he had not. He had been tempted. From there he had fallen, but was the sin unforgivable? Even the voice he had just heard—gave him an emphatic and immediate answer.
No.
In Sawon, on that awful day when everything had come to a head, the first words out of Jungkook’s mouth were ‘Please, forgive me.’ Wracked by pain, and the shocking sickness of being betrayed, Taehyung had steadfastly refused that plea, considering it his right.“How much?” Taehyung whispered.Jungkook wiped his eyes with the heel of his hand and looked at Taehyung as fresh tears sprang from his eyes immediately. His eyes screaming at Taehyung to give him a chanfe. Taehyung resisted the urge to swipe his hand across his cheeks."Huh?"“How much?” Taehyung whispered in hoarse voice again.Jungkook didn’t meet his eyes and whispered, “Don’t ask me such questions Taehyung. You are going to get more hurt. Please...I can’t...”“Please, I want to know. For my own sanity.” Taehyung gazed deeply in those pools of hazel as Jungkook pleaded silently to him for not pushing him further on the subject. But when Taehyung’s unblinking gaze didn’t waver, Jungkook averted his eyes.He couldn’t look in Taehyung’s eyes, the hurt his words would cause him. So, he looked at the wedding band in Taehyung’s ring finger, rubbing it with the pad of his thumb. “A kiss...it meant nothing. I didn’t know what took over me but...” He felt Taehyung pulling his hands away, so his grip tighten as he tried one more time. “It meant nothing Taehyung. He means nothing. He never meant anything. It was me...the hormones in me acted that way. I know now how wrong it was of me. I could never forgive myself. How can I ask you? But please Taehyung, you’re the air I breathe. I will lose myself if...” He hiccupped as words choked in his throat. “Taehyung, please...give me chance to—”The shrill of Taehyung’s phone rang in the silence that was getting heavier and heavier as Jungkook stopped speaking. Only the whirring of fridge, and the chirping of birds on the tree nearby could be heard. Taehyung pulled his hands away and dashed for the stairs. His phone kept ringing until it stopped.And started ringing again.Jungkook stayed rooted at the spot he had occupied. He wanted to run after Taehyung. But he promised him to give the space he asked for.After a few seconds, his phone started ringing, thinking it must be something important he moved lethargically to the table where the holy book was perched open to page 156, verse seven.
If you love, love their darkness too. Not just their light.
Jungkook grabbed his phone and looked at the caller id—it was Jieun. He picked up on hunch that she might have tried reaching Taehyung.“Hello.”“Hello, Thank god Jungkook you picked up.” She sound breathless.“Is everything alright Doctor. Is it about Taehyung?” Jungkook panicked.“Oh! Don’t worry Jungkook, his reports are fine. I was only calling you to inform that Taehyung is being stressed lately...and it is not a good sign for pregnancy. Only us should know this - pre-eclampsia- its a condition he might develop if his blood pressure or protein level kept increasing. Try to keep him stress free and warm and since his second trimester is starting he would start nesting so your scent would calm his omega and his agitations down." Jieun sighed and Jungkook listened attentively, his alpha on full alert at the mention of Taehyung's critical condition that may endanger him. "Try to give him your worn shirts and when you’re home keep releasing calming pheromones. That will keep his stress levels low. Alright. I usually don’t forget to tell couples about Pheromone therapy but I forgot to mention it to you guys. I fell in ease that you must know this but I guess I still wanted you to know. So take care of your mate and pup, will you?”“Thank you Doctor Lee for telling me this. I will keep this in mind. Was you trying to reach Taehyung a few seconds ago. Taehyung was—”“No no...it wasn’t me. I called you since only you needed to know this. Ok. Do that for him.” She bid her goodbyes and disconnected.Jungkook peeked into the blinking notification of Taehyung’s phone.Two missed calls.He pushed the home button to lit the home screen.Doctor Min Yoongi.Jungkook didn’t want to be a prying husband so he locked the phone and walked to the stairs when he heard a loud crashing sound.And it came from their—Taehyung’s bedroom. 🦢~~~~ 🦢 Taehyung glanced over at the dresser; he could see his reflection in the glass. He looked pale and his eyes were swollen from exhaustion. His hair was a mess.And worst of all, he looked the epitome of sadness.Out of the corner of his eye, he caught a picture atop the mantle. There, he saw a man he hardly recognized anymore. His smile stretched from ear to ear and his eyes were bright. His lean hands holding the hand of the alpha who made his whole world spin. It was his wedding picture. How blissful they looked that day as they stood hand in hand. The colors were so crisp and vibrant. It was the epitome of a perfect day.Taehyung thought for a moment about Jungkook’s proposal on thier third anniversary and the promise that he kept for the next four years, and the big secret plan he put together all by himself.On one of the weekends, he’d hit the hiking trail and go on short road-trip getaways to local wineries. It became “our thing.” Every chance they got, they would visit a new winery, stretching their reach further and further around north of Korea. They would drive for hours some weekends, just to find a new wine for Taehyung, or a Cabernet for himself. Life was simple and fun. It just worked pretty well with them both. Sure they had some disagreements, but fighting was not something they did.As the weather grew colder, they spent more time indoors. While Taehyung would stay at home, Jungkook worked hard to plan a romantic spring getaway for their third year anniversary. Being that Taehyung was never out much, he never really explored much of the city outside of their winery road trips, and Jungkook wanted to take Taehyung somewhere special. He booked a cute little bed and breakfast in the mountains of North. He would read Taehyung all types of activities they could do as they tried to narrow down the choices.Taehyung looked forward to it all season.By the time spring came, they were both in desperate need of a vacation—Taehyung from boredom and Jungkook from all the glitteratis. They packed the jeep and hopped on for the four-hour drive north.“This is going to be a great vacation.” Taehyung clapped his hands together.“Yes it is.” Jungkook smiled.“I think we should make sure we go hiking. I hear this is the best time of the year for it.”Jungkook nodded and reached over to pat his thigh. He was quiet most of the drive, lost in his own thoughts. Taehyung figured Jungkook was nervous, still thinking about his next prospect, so he didn’t want to push too much.After four hours they reached the bed and breakfast. While Jungkook unpacked the car, Taehyung checked in. A beautiful stone front porch met him at the entrance of the inn. As he walked into the parlor, he could see a wood-burning fireplace —what a charming place. The Victorian inspiration was breathtaking.When Taehyung arrived at the front desk, a silver haired woman with a warm smile stood behind it. “Welcome to the Misty Trail Bed and Breakfast. How can I help you?”“I’m checking in. Last name is Jeon.”“Yes, you’ve reserved the Blue Ridge Suite for three nights. Here are your keys and there is a welcome basket in the room. You’ll also find brochures to the many attractions we have around here.”As Taehyung grabbed the keys, Jungkook snuck up behind him with the luggage and they made way up to the third floor. The room was gorgeous. There was a glass chandelier dangling elegantly in the foyer above them as they walked in and the French countryside décor made them feel like they were thousands of miles from reality.They woke early the next morning to get ready for the visit of one of the popular, historic estates in the area. They took a private carriage ride around the gardens, toured the winery and dined at the estates only restaurant. It had been a perfect day. Taehyung was about to be very surprised though at just how much more perfect it was going to get.When they got back to the suite, Taehyung kicked off his shoes and fell onto the bed. Jungkook lay down beside him. They didn’t say a word for some time. His head rested on Taehyung’s chest and his hand caressed his arm.“I think you could use a hot bubble bath.” Startling Taehyung, Jungkook sat up. “I’ll order some room service and you can take a bath while we wait for it.”“Well, I certainly won’t argue with that. My feet are aching after walking all day. The thought of relaxing in the deep soaking tub is very appealing right now.”“Great. I’ll get the water ready Swan.” He headed into the bathroom.Taehyung undressed and when it was ready, slid into the tub. Jungkook stay seated while giving him a foot massage before tickling him a little. He bend in to remove the few jewelry on Taehyung. The earrings. He slipped the gold chain with ease as well.“To what do I owe this special treatment.” Taehyung raised his brows.“You are special and special people deserves special treatments.” Jungkook slid behind him and massaged his shoulders as well. Taehyung leaned into his tantalizing touch as his body shivered with anticipation.“Want to join me?” Thinking it might help clear Jungkook’s mind as well.Jungkook suddenly stood up and moved to the door, “I’m going to order us some dinner. This is your night to relax.”Jungkook was too jumpy? What was the matter? But Taehyung let it slide.“Alright, well you know where to find me if you change your mind.” Taehyung leaned his head on the head rest as he wiggled his toes and splashed some water outside.Jungkook smiled wickedly, “I’m a man on mission. Your siren-ey ways couldn’t distract me.”“Okay Sir Jeon Jungkook. Now sho away.” Taehyung flapped his arms like a flying bird as he shooed Jungkook away.After Jungkook ushered out, Taehyung was in the bath for about twenty minutes when he heard a knock on the outside door. Jungkook’s voice echoed through the walls as he thanked the man for the food. Taehyung shouted from the bathroom, asking if it was time to eat. Jungkook told him it wasn’t ready yet and to stay in there until he came in to get Taehyung out.Taehyung was almost a prune by the time Jungkook walked into the bathroom.“Everything is all set baby. You have to keep your eyes closed though when you walk out. You promise?” He asked. “Only open them when I tell you to.”“Alright, I promise.”Taehyung stepped into the towel Jungkook held up for him, eager to see what the surprise was. With his hands over Taehyung’s eyes, Jungkook guided him into the main room. He left the omega standing there for just a minute, until he finally said, “Ok, open them.”Taehyung gasped. Candles flickered on the table illuminating silver cutlery and a gourmet dinner. Jungkook was in front of Taehyung, down on one knee with the ring box in his hand—the box that held his wedding ring in it.Taehyung slapped both hands over his mouth. He stared at the wedding ring in box that Jungkook’s held.
That sneaky brute.
When did he sneak the ring from the tub side?“I’ve been thinking about the future a lot lately, and every time I do, I see you in it. A year from now, five years from now, even twenty years from now, I see you by my side. You’re everything I could have ever wanted in a husband, and I want to spend this life with you. And the others. Today, tomorrow and forever Taehyung. Be my forever. Say yes and I will propose my love for you every year from now on and the coming years.” His voice began to shake and Taehyung could see him fighting to hold back tears in those doe eyes. He opened the ring box. “Taehyung, will you make me happiest man today, tomorrow and forever?”“Yes! Yes, Jungkook I vow to make you the happiest man today, tomorrow and forever.”Taehyung bent over, placed his hands gently on Jungkook’s cheeks and kissed him. As Jungkook stood up, Taehyung wrapped his arms around his neck and squeezed him as tight as he could.“You have to let go so I can put this on.” Jungkook was staring into his eyes.“Oh right, yes!” Taehyung giggled and put his hand out as Jungkook slipped his own wedding on Taehyung’s ring finger.How did Taehyung know? His own ring contained 'I'm yours' in curved writing.While Jungkook's had written ' You're mine.'"Jungkook?" Before Taehyung could ask Jungkook what was all this about, Jungkook shushed him with a kiss on his lips. and when he got his fill of Taehyung's lips he whispered, "This is 'you're mine' time. Next year I'll be yours."Taehyung stared at that picture for a very long while remembering just how happy they were that day. Thanks to his love of Spring, they were married on the beautiful spring day at a plantation in Busan.Taehyung walked down the aisle with a mixture of peach and white roses in his hand. They danced the night away with the family and friends. And now, it has all come to this. Sitting alone on their bed wondering how in the world they got here?Two people, so young and in love, with the whole world at their fingertips. And now, here they are, all hopes, dreams and plans crushed.Taehyung stood up slowly and walked to the dresser, never taking his eyes off the photo. He slid his finger over the glass of the frame a few times where Jungkook’s face was. Then gripped his fingers tightly around the frame. He pulled it into his chest for a minute, closed his eyes and envisioned the very moment that was captured.Then, he threw it.It flew across the living room before it hit the wall near the front door. He heard the impact and watched the glass shatter. All the worrying he’d been doing, the constant anxiety, it had finally become too much.Now he wasn’t so sure. Where did it all went wrong?After thinking about everything he felt too much drained. Maybe his pup could also feel his emotions as he felt a slight movement in his stomach. He slipped under the sheets looking away from the mantle that contained a few more pictures of his happy life with Jungkook.The questions keep coming back to him. Haunting his thoughts.What about his role in the breakdown of their relationship?Had he ever extended the same plea to Jungkook for the times he had failed to support him?The awful taste of the answer that was on the tip of his tongue resonated now, pressing down upon him like lead. Owning up to sin and negligence, Jungkook kept pushing on. Despite the hostility and anger Taehyung dished at him, he persisted, showing him, day after day, in ways big and small, that Taehyung was important to him.Precious, like he said. Treasure, he called him.Actions versus words.Taehyung had to find a way to do the same.He felt a slight knock at the door as Jungkook’s soft voice came in, “Taehyung, are you okay?”Taehyung didn’t say anything but turned to the wallside as he heard Jungkook’s quite footsteps echoing in the silence. He turned swiftly to look at Jungkook’s feet.Thank god the alpha was wearing slippers. Taehyung scolded himself for being so weak and worrying too much. Jungkook walked to his bed and stayed there for a few seconds before Taehyung heard shuffling. He heard rustling of clothes. The room was soo silent he could hear his own heartbeat in his ears.What was Jungkook doing? Was he removing his clothes? Was he sleeping here?But...Before Taehyung could turn and resist, he smelled Jungkook’s calming pheromones first, followed by his scent enveloping him as the alpha slid his worn shirt over him. Taehyung held his breath ready to retort if Jungkook thought of slipping besides him on the bed. But then he heard his retracting footsteps and gasped finally for air.He heard the bathroom open and close and then sweeping. Jungkook was cleaning the glass shards that scattered near the bathroom. But after a few heartaching minutes, his breathing slowly evened out as Jungkook’s calming scent wrapped around him and he finally slept. 🦢~~~~ 🦢 Jungkook retracted his umbrella and shook rainwater from the lapels of his trench coat. He pushed open one of the glass doors of the New Dawn Rescue Mission and stepped inside. He had glanced at Taehyung’s calendar for the day, which was tacked as ever to the side of their refrigerator at home. Discovering his whereabouts, Jungkook decided to surprise him with a visit—just because.Well, he admitted, not entirely just because. A scripture verse he had come across this morning during his daily reading left him unsettled, and full of questions. He had poured over chapter five of the second book of Fated Mates, taking to heart the words about living in righteousness. But then he reached a passage that stopped him short, and left him re-reading it several times over: ‘Do not link together with the faithless. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what communion can light have with darkness?’He and Taehyung were both faithful, so that section didn’t trouble him nearly as much as the convicting words that followed. Righteousness and wickedness. Light and dark. Granted, he worked hard, and with sincerity, to leave behind the mistakes he had made, but had he embraced and honored his efforts outside their marriage? Had he been a light for his omega?Taehyung had always been a source of support when it came to his life outside of their relationship. Without his enthusiasm and encouragement, Jungkook never would have attained the level of success he enjoyed at AT. Jungkook realized it was long past time he returned to doing the same thing for Taehyung.Light needed to obliterate the dark. How could he expect the omega to remain caring of his life and its many elements if Jungkook didn’t consistently exhibit respect and encouragement of Taehyung’s own?In the length of time it took for those thoughts to cross his mind, Jungkook got a good long look at the people around him.Street people shuffled past. Hot, heavy rain drenched their clothing, saturated feeble plastic bags clutched tight in grimy, shaky hands. A nasty summer storm blew through the streets and alleys of the Southside, driving the destitute inside. The facility was standing room only for dinner and shelter service tonight.He studied life-worn faces left craggy by desperation and anxiety. In some cases, guarded eyes roved restlessly from spot to spot, full of edginess and discomfort. Other visitors were so touched by simple acts of kindness—a welcoming touch on the shoulder from volunteers or a gentle smile—they called out gratitude and praise as they partook in an assembly line production of nourishment and compassion.Absorbing the crowd made Jungkook stumble. A pierce-point struck his heart. So, those times when Taehyung had begged off a date-night, or cancelled their prior engagements that centered more around his work ambitions than anything else—those instances when the omega was tired and drained of every enthusiasm at the end of the day—the times he denied the alpha a night filled of passion because he was so tired that he passed out as soon as he hit the pillow—this was what it was all about. These people, this gathering of need, was what he worked so hard to support.WOW!Witnessing the people who grappled for the comfort of a simple meal humbled Jungkook into awe. Awe for the omega he fell in love for the first time. And fell all over again today.His eyes watered as he looked around. People in misery. People looking at anyone for compassion. People suffering.Jungkook moved in a bit further and looked for Taehyung. He came upon the familiar form of his husband almost immediately. He stayed put, falling into the moment of being able to watch Taehyung—and listen to his soothing voice.“I didn’t always used to be this way,” Jungkook heard the homeless omega say. Taehyung took hold of a long, bony hand that seemed to be gnarled from the ravages of arthritis. Taehyung knelt at the woman’s feet, looking up at her, into rheumy, coal-colored eyes.“What happened, dearest? Wanna share?” Taehyung asked softly. His face, his posture, radiated loving concern of a mother lion.‘Quite an amazing omega he always was.’ Jungkook thought and smiled.Even from the length of the room, reek and odors assailed Jungkook. A stench of unclean skin, decay, caked dirt and urine made his eyes water and his nose twitch. How must it be for Taehyung, working hours on end, right here in the midst of it?Jungkook’s instant thoughts adrift to his own pristine, spotless and scented office room. The clean hallways, the smell of expensive perfumes and ethereal scents adoring the halls and meeting rooms.Light and dark, he thought.
Light and dark.
“My Appa? He was plant manager for an electrical manufacturing company. Worked the lines and did good work. He moved his way up, he did. I even got to go to college for a couple years. Got a degree and everything.” She sniffled and wiped her nose from the back of her free hand.Taehyung nodded ushering the scared omega—still kneeling, still listening attentively as he stroked the back of the woman’s hand with his thumb.Jungkook couldn’t keep his eyes off the pair.“I went to work in the plant when I graduated college long, long ago. It was the best option I had going since I could make good money.”Taehyung tilted his head, visibly lost within the story, looking deep into the distressed omega’s face. Jungkook was captivated with the sight. Taehyung was such a beauty to hold. Jungkook looked at his husband with all the tenderness in his heart while Taehyung listened the distressed omega.How easy it came to Taehyung to calm the woman by only his mere presence. He didn’t even need calming pheromones to calm the agitation of the omega down.The woman’s overlarge, bulbous eyes that must had seen better days, filled with tears. “Then came the economic shakedown and downsizing and nothin’ goin’ right. Appa didn’t have a job. I didn’t have a job. He got sick with cancer, and I went down the wrong road.” The woman started to cry—and so did Taehyung. “I did bad things, Dongsaeng. Really bad things…things…I...I…”“Badness has no trouble stepping in when life knocks you down, does it, dearest? It’s an easy trap to fall into.” Taehyung’s voice was shaky but he put a brave front for the omega.The woman shook her head. Long, slick brown strings of unclean hair swung from beneath a knit cap still soaked from the deluge of rain outside. Her coat was frayed and dotted by dirt stains.Taehyung leaned in and comforted her as she sobbed in his chest.Jungkook caught his breath.“I strayed from the right.” The omega looked up, taking in the warming center. “I strayed from all that was taught me. I did drugs. I had a...I had a pup, and I lost her to social services. I let life destroy me. But I gotta keep tryin’. I gotta keep goin’. Lord keeps givin’ me days, and I jus’ don’t know what to do with ’em. I just don’t know how to hope anymore, and—and—now look at me, begging for a...meal.” She broke down all over again.“I am looking at you, and you’re beautiful. A beautiful creation...” Taehyung’s intercession stilled the woman. “...to me and to the heavens above. You’re not alone, and you’re not begging. We’re here for you.”The woman’s head lifted, just barely.Seeming undaunted, Taehyung continued. “You haven’t strayed so far that you can’t be embraced by goodness.” He took hold of both of the woman’s hands now, continuing to look up at her. “After all, look where you’ve found yourself. You’re in here. With us. We’re here for you, and you’re getting a warm place to stay, some good food to eat, and the chance to start out fresh tomorrow…not because of us, but because of the faith you had in good.”“I never thought I’d end up having to be at a place like this. I’m so embarrassed…I used to be a strong, good person…I was a believer and...”“You still are.” Despite Taehyung’s subservient, kneeling position, this guest of the warming facility kept her head down; her posture remained slumped by burdens Jungkook couldn’t begin to imagine.“What’s your name, dearest?”“Valerie. Jus’ call me Vale.”Taehyung stood then and sat in the chair next to Valerie, drawing her in for a tight, long hug. Taehyung whispered some words into the ear of this heartbroken, homeless stranger, but Jungkook couldn’t make them out.What he did know was that the woman’s frail shoulders began to shake, and tears fell in abundance. Taehyung kept on holding her tight, ignoring everything, it seemed, except for the woman’s need to find self-worth, and care.At last they parted, and Taehyung kept a hand in place on the woman’s shoulder. With the other, he lifted away the woman’s food tray. “I’ll be right back. Let me get you some fresh food. This has gone cold. Would you like some coffee maybe? Does that sound good?”“Yes, Ser.”Taehyung squeezed her shoulder. “It’s Taehyung, dearest. Taehyung.”Swiping at her wet eyes, the woman offered a smile that showed her yellowed teeth. “Such a pretty name. You’re such a pretty boy.”Jungkook stared after his husband, moved and unspeakably proud. What he hadn’t grasped fully until now was that Taehyung’s volunteer efforts weren’t about filling his leisure time. They were about affecting change—in the name of God’s service. 🦢~~~~ 🦢 Taehyung passed through the swinging doors of the kitchen. Once he knew he was out of sight of the main dining area, he sank against the closest wall. His energy drained away. All around, the bustle of dishware being cleaned, the scrape and whoosh of oven tops being whisked back to brightness kept him from being noticed.That suited him perfectly. He sucked in a few fast, sharp breaths, trying to regain his equilibrium, but his lips trembled, just like the rest of his body.“Hey, Tae.”Taehyung cringed. Attempting smoothness and calm, he straightened, fingering back wispy strands of hair that had fell upon his cheeks.“Hey, Yoongi Hyung.” Taehyung, turning away swiftly, grabbed a tray and dropped it against the metal guide rails. Next, he reached into a storage unit and pulled out a napkin wrapped set of cutlery. He kept his back to the Alpha, trying hard to blink back tears that would not stop. Yoongi held his arm gently, though he allowed Taehyung to remain turned away.Taehyung started to lift a coffee mug from the nearby stack, and it rattled against the others when his hands trembled.“I saw the woman you were talking to.” His voice came to Taehyung softly, sounding calm and sure. “It looked pretty intense. Are you okay?”Taehyung wanted to give up the pretense. He finally looked toward the Alpha through his lashes and shook his head subtly. He probably reeked of transferred body odor and shared disillusionment.Ignoring everything else, Taehyung bowed his head and leaned against the support rail that held a stack of fresh food trays. He loved this program, believed in it with absolute conviction. What he had failed to consider was the draining emotion, the pain. He couldn’t handle being a witness and counselor to any more heartbreak right now—not even in the name of nobility and the ease of another person’s suffering. It simply wasn’t in him. He was depleted.“Come here.” Without waiting on acceptance or refusal, Yoongi drew him close.Before Taehyung knew it, the giving warmth of a hug flowed from Yoongi’s spirit to his troubled one, and he felt like breaking down all over again. “I’m so sorry for how hard this is. And as a loving omega, you give, and you give, and you give. It’s kind of your blessing and your curse.”Yoongi understood him far more than Taehyung had ever realized. He wanted to slide into this moment with nothing else to consider except how good it felt to be tended to and treasured.But he couldn’t.Not by miles.Taehyung backed away fast, brushing at his damp, overheated cheeks. He sniffed. “I need to make a tray and deliver some food.”When he turned away from Yoongi, he looked into the face of the last person on earth he ever expected to see here.Jeon Jungkook. 🦢~~~~ 🦢 🦢~~~~ 🦢
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
—The words: 'Step away from my husband' didn’t need to be spoken. Jungkook’s clenched jaw and narrow-eyed stare at Yoongi said it all. He didn’t need to utter a single word, his scent sent forth a vibration powerful enough to prompt Yoongi to back away even further.“He got pretty upset,” Yoongi said, meeting Jungkook’s icy posture without a flinch.“I noticed. That’s why I came back here.”Yoongi picked up the tray Taehyung had brought in. “I’ll heat this and give it to one of the volunteers to eat.”“I’d still like to serve Valerie a meal.” Taehyung said.Yoongi nodded. “You can prep a fresh helping. The food hasn’t been taken away yet.”The other Alpha left, but not without a last inscrutable look at Jungkook.Wordless, Taehyung turned away from his husband and braced against weakness—in all its forms. He returned his attention to the empty tray before him, fidgeting with the utensils he had deposited along the side. He heard Jungkook approach, but didn’t bother to meet him halfway. He was in no mood.In a gloomy rush, his entire life came at him, feeling ruined again, and his existence struck him as sorrowful, and laden by heart-wrenching compromise. The devil held him in a hammerlock.“It seems you and Yoongi have become even closer. You certainly are doing a lot together at KKOF.”That low-spoken, leading observation didn’t help Taehyung outlook at all. Feisty resolve pushed through a bleak surface. “Yes, we are…but let me put your mind at ease. I won’t do tit-for-tat. I can’t. I decided, after my first week back home, that the circle of pain and wrongdoing would end. I’ve prayed—in earnest—to move on, and to somehow find the strength to keep tuned in to what I want to do…with all of this.” He spun toward Jungkook and glared. “Yoongi is one of my prayer partners, but don’t concern yourself with losing face. I stepped away from his hug even before I saw you. It was nothing. It was innocent.”“I know that, and I saw that for myself. But...still...it hurts.”“Well, welcome to my world.” In defeat, Taehyung muttered the words, his head held high.Jungkook reared back. His lips firmed into a grim line for an instant. “Touché.” It occurred to Taehyung then, despite the non-stop motion of bodies through the facility, if they continued on like this, they’d garner unwanted attention.Taehyung grabbed his hand. At a brisk clip, he pulled the alpha into a private office off the kitchen area.Once he closed the door, Taehyung took charge. “You should apologize to Yoongi Hyung. That standoff was uncomfortable. Besides which, the territorial card isn’t one I’d suggest you play right now.”Jungkook had recovered. His eyes went sharp. “Congratulations on scoring several direct hits. I’ll tolerate them for now, but it’s getting old. Yes, I’m jealous. Yes, I’m scared, and yes, the end result is me being territorial about you when maybe I have no right to be.” He moved close, transforming into the confident man Taehyung recognized and yearned for. “But I want you to keep something very important in mind. I’m not worried one whit about losing face, Taehyung. What I’m worried sick about, as I’ve told you before, is losing YOU for good.”Taehyung fought hard to keep from moving in, touching him. Steeling his spine, he lifted his chin. This tiny, cluttered office, full of corkboard photo displays depicting the rescue mission and its history, resonated with barely contained pain—and love.Jungkook continued, “What worries me sick is the fact that I didn’t realize I was losing you. Not until it was too late to do anything about it and the damage had already been done…and sometimes, especially when I’m overwhelmed to begin with, it rolls over me like a tidal wave! I never realized that actions has consequence. I don’t—can’t blame you for what you’re going through. It’s my doing.”Flinging the words at him, Taehyung discovered humiliation still found a way to leak through him, acidic and devastating. He couldn’t meet Jungkook’s eyes any longer, but he noticed the way Jungkook blanched. Taehyung hardened himself against sympathy.An impasse stretched between them. Jungkook pushed out a hard sigh and squeezed the bridge of his nose. The office contained a desk and the chair that was positioned behind it—not much else would fit. Within these tight confines, Taehyung could have sworn he felt the Alpha in the air all around him; he could absorb Jungkook into his soul without so much as a single touch being exchanged.“I didn’t come here to argue.” Jungkook’s quiet declaration echoed with defeat. “I didn’t come here to cause you more pain.” He shook his head. “I think, for now, it’s best that I leave. This was a huge mistake, and I’m sorry.”The words drifted to silence. Stunned, Taehyung watched him struggle for a moment then turn away. Taehyung shot into action and grabbed his arm. “Not a chance.”When he yanked Jungkook back into place, their bodies brushed then bumped. Their eyes met and Taehyung’s heart rate took off. The yearning he had always felt for the Alpha intensified to the point of being unbearable, but he fought that ache with everything he possessed. “You’re not getting off that easily, Jungkook. Why did you come here? What’s this all about? If you want to talk to me, then talk to me!”Fire came to life in the Alpha’s grey eyes and Taehyung nearly gasped at the wrecked expression on his face. “Okay, I’ll talk to you. This was about me wanting to support you the way you’ve always supported me. This was about me wanting to be part of the things that are important to you. This was about me realizing I need to build a bridge to the kind of support I used to give you before….before…life took over. But I can’t redeem myself alone. It takes me, it takes my efforts, it takes love, and it’s going to take your forgiveness. It’s a long tunnel I’m ready to walk. But I can’t walk in it alone because I need a guiding light...that this darkness will slowly fade away. I’m only one-third of the equation, Taehyung. The rest are you and the heavens above. Moon knows my heart. I’m trying to grasp the fact that I can be forgiven by Her because my remorse is real. The rest of it? The missing piece? It’s in your hands, and it’s up to you.”That revelation crashed against Taehyung with the impact of hitting a brick wall at top speed. His jaw dropped, and he stared at the Alpha. Jungkook stayed put, staring right back.At last, Jungkook stepped forward. He took loose hold of Taehyung’s hand. When his thumb skimmed against his inner wrist, absorbing the erratic thump of his pulse, Taehyung felt far too exposed, far too revealed. He looked down in evasion of the truth that he ached for his love—physically and emotionally.“Let me try this again.” Jungkook’s words were slow, tentative. “Let me start this conversation the way I meant to when I first walked in.” Bearing an equal measure of hesitance, Taehyung nodded but trained his attention on a scuffmark and a crease in the tile floor. “I came here to help you. I want to be part of what you’re doing here. When I saw you with that omega, my heart broke. I noticed the way her story affected you. I’m amazed by the way you reach out, despite the fact that you’re hurting, too.”Taehyung looked up. Inch by painful inch, his heart eased and softened of its own volition. He wanted to resist that melting swirl of surrender, but he couldn’t. “It always hurts to see people in pain, people who struggle just to get by, and survive. Comfort is how I’ve tried to give thanks to Moon for the blessings She gives us and the successes we’ve achieved. Well. The successes that you’ve achieved.”“The successes belong to both of us, Taehyung. Both of us. We’re one.”“I used to think so.”Jungkook physically wilted. He shook his head, staring into the omega’s eyes. “Moon, how I want my mate back, its killing me from the inside to be so near you and not able to touch you the way I used too.”Standing there, facing off with him in the seclusion of the utilitarian office, Taehyung forced himself to ease up as best he could. Jungkook made a point. Moon wouldn’t ordain acrimony—from either one of them. Right now, though, Taehyung was an overwrought mess.The unexpected touch of Jungkook’s affirmation gave him strength, despite the tightness in his chest. “It’s becoming clearer to me that blessings are given. While we may think they’re as solid as a rock, and built on forever, circumstances can build up that destroy those blessings and take them down like a wrecking ball.” Taehyung paused strategically. “Like Valerie, for example. She had a good life, an honorable life. Piece by piece it fell away from her.”Taehyung knew by the pained expression on his face that Jungkook understood the underlying point he made.Like the surrender of our marriage.“You’ve always seen to it that we never wanted for a thing. You’re a wonderful provider, Jungkook. This kind of activity is my way of saying thanks—to Her, and to you. It feels good to give my time, and our resources, to help people who are in need. It’s a grace from the Moon, because I’ve looked into their eyes. I’ve seen the results. The gratitude, the provision and peace that a simple act of kindness can provide is a miracle to behold. We’re the ones who win, as much as them.”Jungkook seemed to ingest that for a moment. His gaze strayed to the entrance of the office and Taehyung watched him draw a deep, steady breath. “Is there anything I can do? I want to help.”Their eyes met and held. Jungkook was so uncertain, so out of his element. Such things were completely out of character, and the vulnerability Taehyung detected continued to dilute his hostility towards his alpha.“It’s not easy.”“That’s okay. I don’t need easy.”Taehyung led the way back to the kitchen. Lined up on wall pegs were rubber aprons, just like the one he currently wore. His gaze slid over the lines of Jungkook’s silk suit, the trench coat draped across his arm. Taehyung grabbed an apron and handed it to him. “It can be messy work. You’ll need this.”Without a second’s hesitation, Jungkook peeled off his suit coat and tucked his over garments onto the empty peg. After sliding away his tie and loosening the top button of his dress shirt, he pulled the apron over his head.Taehyung handed him an expandable plastic head cap.Jungkook’s eyes went wide, sparkling with humor. “C’mon. Really?”Taehyung giggled—deep and from the belly—it couldn’t be helped. “Yes, really. Turn around and I’ll tie the apron for you.”While Taehyung looped and pulled, Jungkook donned the cap and looked at him over his shoulder. “It’s worth wearing this thing just to hear you giggle again. I miss that sound.”The words stilled Taehyung’s levity at once. He fussed with an arrangement of cups and bowls that were stacked on the service counter.Jungkook picked up a tray and went to work. The apron and hat didn’t detract from his impact whatsoever. Taehyung watched his smooth movements and familiar mannerisms as the alpha dished up a serving of steaming meat, mashed potatoes, corn and fruit.“If you don’t mind” —Jungkook glanced at Taehyung— “I’d like to give Valerie her food. I’d like to sit with her for a bit.”“Are you sure?”“Absolutely.” Jungkook paused, apparently uncertain. “Do I just go out there and give it to her?”“Yes. Usually, they receive their food by walking up and getting in line, but she’s expecting delivery.”Jungkook spied the empty tray Taehyung had just settled on the rail next to his hip. “What’s that for?”“Oh—” Startled into proper focus, Taehyung gave a light, shy shrug. “I thought I’d make you a tray, too. You’re probably starving by now.”“Come to think of it, I am hungry. I appreciate it.”Taehyung fixed the tray quickly and handed it into his care. Jungkook’s answering smile stirred sweetness in Taehyung’s heart. Stocked and ready to serve, Jungkook left the kitchen behind.A quickening pulse stirred Taehyung’s blood. A flow of hope worked over him. Happiness and joy—how long had it been since he felt those emotions? 🦢~~~~ 🦢 Tucked into a corner of the hall, staring out a nearby window, Valerie seemed lost to the view. A grey, water-glossed world drew Jungkook’s attention for a moment as well. He approached the omega’s table then gently set down the two trays. Valerie’s gaze swung around and focused on him.“Hi.” Jungkook tried not to sound tentative about breaking ground with this unkempt woman. “Would you mind if I sit with you?”Openly skeptical, Valerie frowned. Her eyes moved from his face to the kitchen, where he could only assume she searched for Taehyung. “I don’ mind if you don’ mind.”For some reason, that response made Jungkook smile. “I don’t mind at all. I’m Jeon Jungkook.” Valerie looked uncomfortably at Jungkook’s extended hand.“You don’ gotta be all friendly like that. I’m filthy. You’re a clean, good lookin’...alpha. I don’t want to get you...dirty.”Jungkook sat down and bumped his shoulder against hers instead. “That doesn’t matter to me.” He tried again, and this time she accepted his hand. When their eyes met, he found gratitude and dignity pushing to life.She smiled a great, gap-toothed smile. “Like the Holy Book says—there’s nothin’ so dirty Moon can’t clean it up, right?”Jungkook laughed warmly and squeezed her hand tight. “Amen, sister.”All at once, he understood the rare and precious blessing of acceptance. Looking into this omega’s face, he saw what Taehyung saw: Beauty. As soft-hearted and sweet-natured as Valerie was, there was no way Taehyung would be able to refuse the needs of a soul like this. The epiphany left him in love with his husband all over again.Emboldened, Jungkook continued. “I’m just like you. I’m dirty and in need of a thorough cleaning just like that Holy Book verse you quoted.”In receipt of her grateful look, Jungkook found it easy to ignore Valerie’s smell, the dirt, and water stains. He looked toward the kitchen area and saw Taehyung in conversation with one of the other volunteers. Softness slipped through him. His heart tripped into a faster beat.“I’m Valerie, by the way.” The omega besides him spoke and Jungkook jerked away from staring and directed his attention to his dinner companion. “I’m glad to meet you.”They prayed over the offering then in unison they launched into their meal. At length, Valerie chuckled, the sound coming out more like that of a rumbling train. “I like you. You’re not one of them snooty types. You’re okay.”“Nah, I’m not okay, but I’m trying, just like you, Valerie.”She shrugged and they continued to eat in a companionable silence. Jungkook’s attention kept straying to Taehyung. He noticed the way she glanced at him every once in a while. “You keep lookin’ at him. The good lad.”“I’m sorry?” Jungkook took a sip of coffee, delivering an inquiring look toward Valerie.“Pretty lovely boy. The one who came over here and talked to me a while ago.” She pointed a long, shaky finger in Taehyung’s direction. “Him. You’re staring at him.”Jungkook didn’t go flush very often, but he did right now. “I guess I am. Can’t seem to help it.”“Don’ blame ya.’ He’s something.’ Can’t ‘member his name though.” Valerie released a frustrated sound. “I used to be so much sharper than this.”Instead of leaving her to struggle for details, Jungkook decided to fill them in. “His name is Taehyung.”Valerie slapped her knee. “That’s right. Pretty name…for a pretty lad. I remember now.” She looked at Jungkook hard. Then, her too-thin, angular face split into a large grin. “You got a crush on him, don’t you? I can tell. I can see it in your eyes. They shine looking at him.”Jungkook laughed, thoroughly enjoying this woman’s company. “Since the first moment I saw him.”Valerie sighed. “Oh…oh, I do love a good...romantic love story.”Jungkook extended his left hand and pointed at his ring. “He’s my mate, my husband.”“And you still look at him like that? Well, the Seven Lord bless ya. Moon bless ya and then some!”Why did that humble, enthusiastic benediction cause Jungkook to tear up?“And here you both are, looking after fellas like me.” She settled back and issued a large, heaving sigh. “Mm-mm-mm. I do guess the good Lord still puts miracle workers right here on this earth.” She shook her head in wonder.“No, Valerie. We’re not miracle workers. Remember? We’re just like you.”“You’re miracle workers to me, and that’s that.”Jungkook rested his hand on top of hers. “Trust me. We all fall short, and we all need help. All of us. You’re a miracle, too.”“C’mon now. What kind of help could you ever need? You got it all.”Yes, he did. But could he continue to keep the blessing of his marriage and be allowed the opportunity to honor it all over again?Tears sprang to Jungkook’s eyes once more. Humbled by Valerie’s gratitude and bolstered by her smile, he understood the fulfillment and joy Taehyung experienced every time he worked here. 🦢~~~~ 🦢 When they got home that night, Jungkook followed Taehyung upstairs. He needed to retrieve his clothes for work tomorrow.Taehyung sat on the edge of the bed. Slowly he toed off his flats and wiggled his sock-covered feet. The innocent image did wild things to Jungkook’s insides. His scent spiked three notches as those feet wrapped around his waist flashed through his memory. His breathing increased as his eyes caressed Taehyung from toes to his things to his waist and finally settled on his face.Taehyung was staring at him, his mouth open. Jungkook’s fuzzy thoughts whooshed out of him in a puff of smoke. He jerked his head and continued rummaging through his clothes.He felt Taehyung’s gaze as surely as a touch against his skin, so he tried to temper himself, and divert the flood of heat that curved through him.Still, after all the emotion and heightened electricity they had shared today, Jungkook was acutely aware of his husband. A driving need went to work against his sense of restraint.Taehyung watched him hang up his suit coat. Jungkook walked to the dresser and began to unfasten his cufflinks.“I’m sorry, Jungkook…for the way I treated you.”Taehyung’s quiet words settled into his troubled spirit. Jungkook wanted him with a passion that was undeniable—yet deny it he must. Tensing himself against a soft, enticing flow of his senses, Jungkook slipped his cufflinks away then dropped them into a mahogany box.When he turned, he took in their bedroom—Taehyung’s bedroom now. When Taehyung had returned home, Jungkook had told him flatly and emphatically that he couldn’t stand the idea of him sleeping anywhere else. So Jungkook slept in the guest room while Taehyung remained in the bedroom they shared before...Jungkook began to slide hangers, searching for a shirt along with a suit and tie. “I deserved it.”“No, you didn’t. You’re not a whipping post, but that’s how I treated you. It was wrong, and I’m sorry. You showed up to support me, and I snapped and threw darts. That’s not going to help us. I’ll do better.”Hid apology called to mind something Priest Hyungsik had told him recently.
Make the choice to minister to him fully—then follow up that choice with your actions. If you do, your goodness will meet his, and you’ll re-find that joy again, that connection and intimate sense of trust.
“You did a lot more than snap and throw darts. You hold so much love in you that I feel the most luckiest person in the world. That I’m the one who holds the biggest part of your heart. And...and...Know this Taehyung, It was my choice to be there. I loved being there. Don’t worry about it.”Something heavy lifted away from his shoulders. “Still…thank you for the apology, Taehyung.”It was all Jungkook could manage before claiming the next day’s wardrobe items and leaving Taehyung behind. Avoiding his eyes, Jungkook headed for the door but stopped midway. Then he unbuttoned his shirt steadily and removed his from his torso. He turned and stretched his hand for the omega to take it. Taehyung looked at him but didn’t move from where he was standing.Jungkook walked to the edge of the bed and placed it before finally heading out. Exiting the room, he closed the door quietly behind him.Intimacy.Jungkook craved it with his husband. It wasn’t just a physical thing, either. This was a working of his mind. Like stirring, masterful music, Taehyung remained with him long into a sleepless night that was beset by an ache, and a wistful sense of longing. He saw the most sweetest dream that night.The dream of his first kiss with Taehyung. 🦢~~~~ 🦢 They were celebrating Chuseok with both families at the beach restaurant Jungkook booked for the night. It was Jungkook’s idea to bring his parents to Seoul so that they would know their son was courting an omega and had all the intentions of marrying him. The date of their wedding finalized today. The final nail in their courtship.Jungkook’s parents loved Taehyung. They were swooning over how beautiful, lovely and soft the omega was. At first Taehyung dreaded the meeting but Jungkook’s doting mother went all gaga over how Taehyung was the sweetest thing she had ever had the oppurtunity to meet, the omega son she could swoon over like the doting mother and flaunt the beautiful omega in her circle. They welcomed him with open arms and he was the main character of the night. Jungkook was always the rugged one but Taehyung was so beautiful inside out that May, Jungkook’s mother didn't leave Taehyung for a second the whole night. It was difficult to drag the omega from the people. But Jungkook succeeded in snatching Taehyung away for the gift Jungkook had in mind for his lovely fiance.“Come here, Taehyung,” Jungkook’s distant voice beckoned. Taehyung let the Alpha lead him away from the crowds—music and drums raging and thumping in the background. Jungkook didn’t stop until they were in a vacant corner near the roaring bonfire. He wrapped a hand around Taehyung’s waist, sending jolts of electricity down his legs. Taehyung moved until his back hit against one of the wooden support beams."Jungkook wha—"“Let me kiss you, Taehyung.” His words floated like a silky whisper. Taehyung wanted him to. So, so badly. The fog pulsed in his mind. But...Jungkook asked him to wait for...then why now?“What? Right here? Right now?” Taehyung risked a glance at the surrounding. He saw his parents swaying to the beats. Jungkook's mother was nowhere in sight. Seokjin and his husband were at the food counter, fighting to get the cotton candy. No one was looking in their direction. They probably couldn’t even see them given the shadows cast from the fire.Jungkook didn’t look away, using a gentle finger to pull Taehyung’s gaze back to him. “Yes, Taehyung. Right here. Right now. I can wait no more. This temptation is killing me at the raging levels.”Taehyung’s heart wanted to kick himself in the face for not screaming, 'YES!' His nails dug into the wooden pole behind his back. Not only was it keeping the canopy from toppling over them all, but it kept him from retreating.
If I could ever be thankful for an inanimate object.
“I don’t know…someone could..." His eyes fleeted to the group that was far too busy with the foods and drinks to even notice them," see us...” His thumb swirled in circles over the fabric of Taehyung's shirt that did nothing to keep the warmth seeping in. “I know how much a kiss means to you. And I could wait no longer to do it.”How could Jungkook possibly know that?“But I promise you when I’m done—” Jungkook’s gazes locked with the omega, and his heartbeat went into a furious gallop. “You’ll be a puddle at our feet.”Taehyung stared at his lips, craving to know how they’d feel under him. “That’s quite the declaration, Mr. Jeon.”“No.” The word jarred Taehyung, his eyes darting back to Jungkook's intoxicated one. “It’s the truth.”Who was this guy? What happened to his sweet innocent alpha? Where was the Jungkook who wanted traditional courting?His heart lurched in his chest, as he nodded slowly. “Alright, then.”Jungkook stepped closer, filling the surrounding air with faint smells of cinnamon and his musk scent that was curling Taehyung's inside in a ragin war pf pheromones.“There’s only one rule.”“R-rule?” The word cracked from his throat as he tried to make coherent sentences but failed miserably.“You can’t touch me.” The tip of his nose brushed over his ear and his mind went to the ninth cloud. A puddle when he finished? The man hadn’t even kissed him yet, and Taehyung was already melting, his knees felt like jelly.Jungkook dragged his cheek over Taehyung’s, fingers kneading against his waist. His lips brushed one of his brows, sending a shiver through his body as his hot breath like a caress of thousand wishes being answered in the three months of their primal courting. Then ever so slowly he bent down and first kissed Taehyung's forehead—a light peck that kept the feel of his lips a secret. His breath skirted over Taehyung’s hairline, fanning over him–his inebriate smell enveloping him like a protective layer as the Alpha continued his torturous tour of his face, his grey eyes dropping to his lips once a while. His feather light touches were like hot caresses that made Taehyung melt in his arms. Taehyung’s tongue swept over his lips which felt utterly hungry and impossibly dry, because his body was dying over the anticipation of tasting Jungkook. This was it.This was the moment he yearned for a total of three month while their torturous courting continued. Jungkook went all carnal over him and wanted to do it like a prim and proper alpha should. Make your omega feel special and then sweep him off his feet forever.This was it. The moment.Taehyung was a spool of yarn unravelling. His heart raced, matching the steady beat of drums from the faraway celebrations.Jungkook breath fanned his face and his mouth neared his and then moved to his nose, brushing his lips across the tip. Taehyung pinched his eyes close as he felt something stirring in him, the anticipation of when and if this were truly going to happen turning his insides into a knot of emotions and hormones. Jungkook’s whole warmth pressed into him, and Taehyung suppressed a whimper at the hardness pushing against his lower abdomen. Jungkook’s lips brushed against his eyelids and a sigh left Taehyung’s mouth at the nearness. “Taehyung, open your eyes.” Taehyung slowly opened his eyelids and was struck with lightening as Jungkook was just an inch away from him. His eyes shone like the twinkling sky above, containing all the love that the whole universe could hold for a person, for someone who was everything to the alpha– his sun, his moon and all the stars included. “I love you Taehyung. Loved you from the day my eyes found you in that party. And after that all I could ever see is you. You are the air I breath. My alpha lives for you and It can die for–”Taehyung’s palm closed in on his lips, “Jungkook, its bad omen to talk about dying when you are confessing your love.” His eyes shone flickering between blue and green as Jungkook looked in those pools. “Taehyung I couldn't stay away from you a single day more. Its killing me to wait for another month.”“Shh! No killing and no dying. Focus on the task you brought me here for. I cant wait no more.” His gaze lingered over Taehyung’s mouth again before gliding back to the mirth in those almond eyes. Like it had a will of its own, Taehyung’s right hand slipped from his lips to his forearm, tensing at the power exuding from the taut muscle hidden underneath his shirt.“Hey now.” Jungkook whispered into his hair. “Only one rule and you broke it.” A deep chuckle rumbled from his chest. He slipped his hand over Taehyung’s roaming one with a gentle yet demanding touch, forcing it back to the pole. Taehyung’s teeth chattered as Jungkook’s nose dipped to the nape of his neck, breathing in his scent. He gave one tiny flick of his tongue before dragging the lips over his cheek. Lifting his head, Jungkook’s eyes stared at him with the intensity that Taehyung's whole body pulsed in tandem with his heartbeat. Jungkook clamped three fingers under his chin, his gaze drifting to his mouth. Taehyung’s hands gripped the pole like it was his lifeline, fearing he would explode if Jungkook didn’t kiss him now. It was a sweet mix of torture and pure bliss that he didn’t want to end. Jungkook’s forefinger played over his cheek while the tip of his thumb traced under his bottom lip. His calloused fingers slwoly traced the unholy path of the lips that were so tantalisingly soft and looked like the Eros' bow, calling Jungkook in to do the sin. and sin he did.A whimpered moan escaped from his throat and Taehyung squirmed underneath Jungkook. He couldn’t–wouldn’t hold it back any longer.And pushed his lower body towards Jungkook. Without a physical cue this time, his lips brushed against Taehyung’s. Taehyung pressed his back against the pole, knowing if it weren’t there, he would’ve gone limp in Jungkook’s arms. It started as feather-like touches. Pecks across his lips with the occasional lingering moment. And then Jungkook deepened the kiss, keeping his hand clamped under his chin, grounding Taehyung to the reality of what was happening.His tongue slid over the seam of Taehyung’s lips, coaxing him, luring him, until he opened his mouth inviting Jungkook in, welcoming the swirl of Jungkook’s tongue with his. Jungkook moaned, deep and feral, pushing further against his body. As the Alpha devoured Taehyung with his mouth, and dragged a single finger over his collarbone, tracing down to the dip of his chest. His other hand slid into Taehyung’s hair, bunching it in his grasp. his fist a little tight making it hard for Taehyung to move - not away - not near.An invisible boulder settled on Taehyung’s chest as his mouth opened inviting Jungkook in. Taehyung had only now realized it existed because the unseeable force lifted—a sense of relief, freedom, coursed over his skin in waves. Jungkook lapped his tongue over Taehyung’s, pausing every few moments to suck on his bottom lip and dive back in. The pad of his fingers kept playing over his cheek, dragging down his throat. Taehyung felt tingles run like feathers all over his skin, his chest, his hands, legs, and even his toes like electricity surging through him. The mysterious fog that’d clogged his brain diminished, falling from his mind into a puddle at his feet just as Jungkook had promised. Taehyung’s eyelashes fluttered, the clarity of where they were and what they were doing made him dizzier. The anticipation of being caught by any one of their family made his whole body shiver.Taehyung pulled back, staring up at Jungkook with a fresh pair of eyes. Jungkook’s tongue lapped over his lips, tasting Taehyung on himself.Screw his rule.Screw everyone. Taehyung wrapped his arms around Jungkook’s neck, kissing him. He had wanted to kiss Jungkook since the moment they had seen each other this evening. Taehyung felt ticklish all over but he ignored the jitters, looking into those hazel eyes that were red like embers. Fear of being caught was a driving force for him. But right now, at this moment, all Taehyung wanted was Jungkook.Jungkook groaned and pulled from the kiss, blowing out a ragged breath. “Taehyung, marry me right now.” Jungkook pressed his forehead to Taehyung.“Jungkook?” Taehyung let out a gentle laugh.Jungkook laughed along. “How do you feel?” “I feel—” Taehyung’s body hummed, the music blaring in the background warming his insides. He closed his eyes with a sigh and slowly opened them. “Rejuvenated.” 🦢~~~~ 🦢 Taehyung woke up with a jolt of sudden desire he felt for the alpha. Maybe it was his scent that was enveloping him from the outside of his bedroom. Or maybe it was the desire that was wafting from Jungkook in waves like Tsunami.Today again the alpha was dreaming. his lustful dreams would not let Taehyung sleep. And there was no way to find if he was dreaming of him or...his breathing became hard as he slipped from his bed and slowly walked towards the door. He settled on his side of the door again - basking in the scent of his alpha. It was like the torture he was enduring continuously from the past one month and a half. every night he would slip to his side of door and would sleep on the floor where he knew Jungkook would be on the other side.That morning Taehyung again realized Jungkook slept outside his door. It was the daily occurence since Taehyung's outburst in the bedroom three weeks ago. After that night, the nearness of Jungkook helped him relax a bit and he could sleep better at night. with his back sour but his mood rejuvenated.Anyone who would walk in the house could feel Jungkook's pheromones going berserk in the air, thick with passion and filled with longing. Worst was Taehyung was feeling too emotional to be away from his alpha. It was killing his omega at primal levels but he wouldn't let anyone treat him like he was too easy. 🦢~~~~ 🦢 On the weekends, Jungkook now made it a point to be home. He dismissed as many work-related networking and promotional events as possible, and his proximity jarred Taehyung.Taehyung thought about him constantly, and weekends only intensified their connection. He didn’t want to be so edgy around his husband, but emotions pushed forward, increasing awareness of everything he missed about their marriage.Taehyung couldn’t escape the fact that Jungkook now maintained the type of presence in his life for which he had always longed. At the same time, he didn’t crowd or push himself into it. Instead, he waited patiently for Taehyung to indicate his feelings.But that was the problem. His feelings were such a convoluted jumble he had no idea how to move forward.A few weeks after their visit to the New Dawn Rescue Mission, Taehyung opted for a means of evasion so he could think clearly and focus without distraction. Following a Saturday morning shopping spree for maternity clothes with Seokjin hyung, Taehyung camped out at his brother’s house for the remainder of the day, baking bread.Ever since he was little, Taehyung could recall the process of his mother creating homemade bread from scratch. The task took time, and energy, but there was nothing like the smell, and reward, of fresh baked bread.The time spent with Jungkook at New Dawn left him wanting to find a way back to even ground in their relationship. He wanted to enjoy Jungkook again, and love him again, with nothing of his heart held back. Moving forward together was all that he longed for, but the idea terrified him.How could he cope with that level of openness again?
Once a cheater, always a cheater.
Condemnations echoed, but condemnations didn’t change facts. Facts that Taehyung missed his husband. He missed Jungkook to the point that his heart ached. He longed for his touch, and the warmth of his eyes on him. He missed receiving that exclusive smile that would slip softly into his heart and saturate him with love.Mostly, Taehyung missed the impetuous way Jungkook would step behind him and nibble at his neck—licking his mating mark, sending tingles through his spine and heart, then spin him slowly around and take him on a dance that needed no music to enhance its steps.There were huge issues to overcome, and patterns of living that needed modification, but Jungkook kept trying. Taehyung could feel the alpha outside his door in the middle of the night. Many a times he fought the urge to open the door and let Jungkook in. Many a times he fought with his omega who craved the touch of his alpha.And then there was this part...His part, For...Taehyung could number off at least a half-dozen times when he had negated requests from Jungkook to be a part of his life. Functioning separately became an easy pattern to fall into, especially as time passed.That dangerous pattern didn’t stem from a lack of feeling. That was the most frightening aspect of their dilemma. Instead, an aching, needy heart is what had led Jungkook to Jimin. Combining two full and busy lives had become problematic over time. Over the span of two years they led themselves to drift apart...slowly and steadily. Taehyung realized that now.Seldom had the twain met.Confusions refused to dissipate, but Taehyung looked forward to the day ahead. Freshly changed into comfortable maternity slacks and a cotton blouse of vibrant peach that floated around his body, Taehyung rejoiced in the flutters and thumps of their child inside of his belly.Ironic that at the most tumultuous point in their lives, their dreams of a child together had finally come true. Was Jungkook right? Was that Lord’s message of hope in the chaos of their lives?Taehyung was too tangled in his hurt to know any longer.In the kitchen, midway through their bread preparations, Taehyung lifted a large, stainless steel mixing bowl. Seokjin stood across from him, a towel draped over his shoulder. The older tossed out a dose of flour then used his hands to spread it across the countertop. Taehyung dumped a freshly formed head of dough into the middle of the white, silky dust.“I want to be healed of this whole situation,” Taehyung said, continuing their conversation.“It doesn’t quite work that way, Taetae. There’s a lot of hard work involved.” Although Seokjin gave him a compassionate smile, the words minced nothing.Taehyung began to knead, and it felt good. He loved the process of pushing into the dough, rolling and squeezing, bullying it from nothingness into nourishing loaves.“I don’t know how to reach out to him anymore. I’m so full of self-doubt and fear that I’m frozen. No compassion or emotion left in me. I realize I’ve let him down, too. I didn’t do my part to be more engaged in his life. I know that now. He is just two steps away, and I don’t know how to get back to where we were, how to reach him and make things right again.” Taehyung added flour to the dough and worked the heels of his hands relentlessly into the mixture, which began to yield and soften.“You’re not supposed to. Stop trying to get back to where you were. Because you can’t. Instead, find out where you’re meant to begin again. Figure out how you’re supposed to move forward from here on.”That piece of advice caused Taehyung to go still. “I should have been there that night. He asked me...not once but thrice...to go with him. Did I ever tell you that? I had just gotten home from volunteering in one of our rescue houses. You know, typical me—running, running, running and hiding. I don’t even remember what group I was helping then.”“You need to tell him that.”Taehyung bristled but figuratively bit his tongue. Defiance transformed into a hot circuit of sparks, a sweep of pain that left him wanting to lash out a fast refusal of his brother’s advice. But he fought that instinct.Seokjin continued. “He asked you for forgiveness?”“Yes, he did...repeatedly. Almost every day.” Taehyung forgot about the dough and crossed his arms against his chest, unmindful of sticky dough clumps and flour debris. He fought acknowledging that fact because he was miles away from accepting the Alpha’s gesture. Yes, that was wrong—and yet—“Forgiveness is where it needs to begin.” Seokjin’s conclusion was emphatic.“I see. So, he says, ‘Forgive me, Taehyung’ and I’m the dirty dog if I don’t. After what he did? Is that what you’re saying? Hey, everything is great now. He asked for forgiveness and all is right with the world. I should be merrily dancing and kookoo-ing in his love like a happy cuckoo.” He lashed out. He wanted to sound more crude but that was Seokjin Hyung. If it was Jungkook, he might have clawed his face. Hypothetically, of course.Taehyung wanted their marriage back, but admitting it felt like giving in, and accepting—without due consequence—the fact that he had been betrayed.Remember—let he who is without sin cast the first stone…“It’s not about making a fast apology and brushing past what he did.” Seokjin greased pans, setting them on the counter one by one. “It’s about reclaiming your commitment. Failure is human, but redemption is heavenly. Take a taste of what you had before. It might become the fresh start of a loving, beautiful journey—if you let it happen, and embrace the chance God is giving you to return to one another.” Seokjin paused to lean against the kitchen counter and waited until Taehyung looked at him. “Do you think this is easy for him? Do you think it’s easy for him to be in the position of having to ask you for forgiveness? Do you think the road he traveled isn’t hurting him like it hurts you? It takes great effort to seek for forgiveness and as you said he is asking for it for the last two months. Tirelessly.” Seokjin arched a brow, waiting once more.
But he deserves it! He turned his back on me and ripped a hole in my heart!
He who is without sin…“Hey, Uncle Taehyung, did Uncle Jungkook come with you?”Lifted away from the gentle admonishment, Taehyung winced on the inside and fumbled for a way to answer his nephew. Jonghyun bounded into the kitchen and started dribbling a plastic ball as he crossed to a pair of sliding glass doors that led outside to the backyard.“Uncle Jungkook had stuff to do at home today, pup.” Seokjin gave Taehyung a compassionate look and stepped in as a buffer. “We’ll see him soon, though. By the way, what’s the rule about balls in the house?”The dribbling stopped promptly. Visually sheepish, Jonghyun’s head lifted. “Sorry, Appa.”Seokjin winked at his son. “Scoot. I’ll call you in for lunch as soon as the bread is in the oven.”“Okay.”Head bowed, Taehyung paused, clutching the edge of the kitchen counter. Oblivious to the undercurrents, Jonghyun charged into the yard, tossing the ball and kicking it with happy gusto.Alone with his brother once more, Taehyung braved a reply to Seokjin’s question. “I know this has affected him. I know he’s hurting. I also realize it’s very easy to get angry at Jungkook and paint him with all the colors of a bad guy, since he’s the one who was tempted by someone else, but I neglected our relationship, too. I stepped away when I should have moved toward. I have responsibilities in this breakdown of ours and I know it.”“Have you ever told him that?”“No, How can I tell him tha—I mean—no, I didn’t.”Seokjin took over kneading responsibilities since Taehyung was thoroughly distracted. He paused from the task just long enough to deliver a penetrating stare. “Maybe it’s time you did.”“I…well…” Taehyung stopped speaking. He hated his own weakness, the way he yearned for Jungkook. There were so many happy, beautiful memories to call upon, so many ways the Alpha had genuinely touched his heart over the span of nine years. The note, for example…returning to Sawon and devotions…helping at the rescue mission and tolerating his cutting mood swings.Taehyung steeled his shoulders, still determined to push his love to the side for now. He busied himself scraping away excess dough from the stainless bowl. He dumped the remnants into the trash then went to the sink, intending to wash it clean.“I, well, what?” Seokjin toweled off his hands and shot out a restraining hand so he could hold Taehyung in place.Taehyung expelled a frustrated sound. “I don’t want to feel good around him.”“He’s not leaving you much of a choice, is he?”“Yeah, he never forgets to give his shirt to me for nesting. He—I know he sleeps outside the door because I can feel his warmth through the door. I miss him beside me and...”Seokjin chuckled, “and sleeping on the floor isn’t good for the baby, Taehyung.”“Who said I am sleepin—Hyung stop teasing.” Taehyung glowered. He moved to the sink and squirted dish soap into the bowl before turning on the hot water. “Feeling good around Jungkook makes me feel like I’ve given in and accepted what he did.”“Oh, baby. Don’t let it. It shouldn’t. Feeling good around him, when he’s working so hard to redeem himself, and earn your forgiveness, is simply a reflection of the love you feel. And the love he feels, too. That hasn’t changed. You love each other. Time to start dealing with it.”“He didn’t redeem himself in my eyes...not yet...” Taehyung whined as he profusely rubbed the bowl clean.“What is it you want from him? Carve his heart out for you and serve it on a platter...or keep crying and ask for mercy again and again until you deem fit to forgive him. What is the time limit you set for the forgiveness.”Seokjin’s challenge brought Taehyung to a standstill. Taehyung nipped at his lower lip; his brows tightened into a furrow. “There is no time limit but...I can’t shake him. He haunts me like a dream, but he sliced me like a nightmare. Everything about him, about us, used to be open and free and effortless. Now part of me wants to stay closed off. I don’t want to let him get that close to me again. I can’t afford to let myself be that vulnerable to him again. It’s killing me inside because all I want to do is get rid of this raw emotion—”“You want to get rid of the pain, Taehyung...not love. Big difference.” Seokjin’s very direct interruption prompted Taehyung to forget the running water that filled the mixing bowl, the building soapsuds. “You want to release all that ugliness, not the emotion. Let’s be clear about that.”Remembering himself, Taehyung extinguished the pouring water and went to work washing dishes—with a vengeance. Water crested onto the counter, along with apple scented soap bubbles. “Maybe.”“The crux of the matter right now, as I see it, is the fact that you’re not just hurt by Jungkook. You’re hurt by the fact that you were blindsided. That your marriage, which had always been such a beautiful model of what a fated couple should be, fell apart.”“Nice.”“Actually, it’s not nice at all. But it’s true.” Seokjin used a dish towel to mop up the overflow of water.“I know, I know, and I’ve said as much to Jungkook.” More like sniped as much, he admitted to himself. Rather violently, Taehyung dumped water and soap from the bowl into the stoppered sink so he could continue washing dishes.“You’re refusing to forgive Jungkook, and you’re refusing to forgive yourself. It takes two to build, and two to destroy, a relationship.”Taehyung gasped. “Nice one, Jin Hyung. Slam me with that when you know how badly I’m struggling! I’ve admitted I need to accept my share of the blame!”Seokjin grabbed a fresh drying towel. After he tugged the bowl from Taehyung, he let a calming beat slide by. “You haven’t admitted as much to Jungkook. Think about what you’ve been saying. You said you should have been there. You said he wanted you with him. You said he wants you in his life, and that he’s always included you in his functions. If you ask me, that’s not the pattern of a sleazy alpha on the prowl for any available omega. The first step forward is reaching out. Have you made an effort to include him in the goings on of your life?”“He’s too busy! He would have said no! I asked him once and he denied because of his preoccupations...and I never asked again.”
But Jungkook had shown up at the mission site…
Seokjin shrugged. “Believing he would deny again? I’m not so sure. I think you already admitted defeat even before the fight started. If you had made the consistent effort, he would have been there. Point is, now, you’ll never know for sure, will you?” Seokjin propped a fisted hand on his hip and arched a brow while Taehyung stared, and stewed. “Geez, are those light bulbs I see going off over the top of your head?”Taehyung snorted. “Do you ever hold back the punches?”“Nope. Not when it comes to you, Tae. You’re my baby. Always have been, always will be. And someone needs to put your head where your heart is.”“You’re such a mom sometimes.”“Yep.” Stillness returned, along with quiet understanding. “Do you still believe you and Jungkook were fated to be together?”Taehyung pondered that question for a moment. “I believed that before—”“What now? Now you don’t believe?”“That’s what I want to believe. Right now, I just don’t know. I’m back and forth and up and down like a yo-yo these days. One second I miss him so much it physically hurts. The next I get so angry I want to just chuck it all and say, fcuking fine, it’s over. I take it out on him constantly. Either I shout and rage or I go all wistful and sentimental. Take your pick.”“Your reactions are understandable, Taehyung. But while you sort things through, ask yourself this, is Jungkook trying? Is he trying enough?”“No, he—”Seokjin raised his both eyebrows.Taehyung corrected himself, “Okay, fine...yes.”“You’re such a stubborn sometimes.” Seokjin smiled at his little brother’s whimsical approach.“Yes, he is trying...but still not enough.” Taehyung didn’t hesitate this time, even for a second.Jungkook’s efforts couldn’t—and shouldn’t—be denied. Even in the face of his pain. Still, Taehyung wanted to hurl the pot he scoured straight across the room, because at the same time, he had legitimate doubts about what prompted his efforts. His emotions surged. “But by the same token, what I am right now for Jeon Jungkook is a problem that needs to be solved.”“Fair enough. But is that all you are to Jeon Jungkook?”Taehyung glared at his brother and dumped a milk covered mixing cup into the water. “He wants me back. He wants our child. He’s trying to solve a problem, and he’s trying to negotiate. That’s what he does best.” He shrugged. “To be honest, that’s part of what I love about him. Thing is, I can’t fall back into place just because he says so! And...that face...the omega’s face is everywhere in the city and it reminds me again and again of what he and Jungkook did to me. What it did...to us.”“Hmm.”“What?”“Well, it’s interesting that you don’t use the word love in the past tense. That’s telling. As telling as the circumstances you just described.” Seokjin’s posture softened. He stepped forward and gave Taehyung a tight hug. “If he’s trying as hard as you say he is, then give a little. Help make amends. Doing so is what Moon would want and expect of us. Like I said, Taehyung, you love him. You can’t deny that. Your soul and your being crave for your alpha.”No. He couldn’t. But he couldn’t deny the fear, either.Taehyung wiped the counter, where a few more water splatters and dough clumps remained, needing to be washed clean. So much like his entire relationship with Jungkook.Seokjin swept his hand into place on top of Taehyung’s, stopping his nervous motions. “He loves you, too. That’s another truth you can’t escape.”Taehyung wilted. “But what about the hurt...it still hurts.”“Is Jungkook still handling that omega’s career as he do with others.”“He told me he handed him over to Beomgyu and didn’t hear of him. They aren’t on the same floor anymore, but they are in the same building. I always doubt if it could happen once, it could happen...again.” Taehyung’s eyes filled with unshed tears.Seokjin cupped his cheeks and Taehyung’s gaze fell downwards, “You need to trust him. I know he is to blame for the doubts that always linger in your mind, but you need to trust and put your faith in your relationship again. Look at me little one, you are still in love with him and hurting him is hurting you as well. I feel sad when you doubt yourself. Please, Taetae stop putting yourself in miseries of what ifs. You need to be strong for...” Seokjin’s gaze fell on his visible belly, “...the pup and for yourself. It’s not good for the pup’s health as well that his appa is so sad every time. Hmm.”Taehyung sighed, rested his head on Seokjin’s shoulder and tried to regain himself.
Taehyung, precious one, the spirit I have placed within you is far greater than the world around you. Do not fear. Put your faith in love.
“I’ll try.” The whispered words passed through clogging emotion and laden tears. Taehyung’s eyes fluttered closed in utter exhaustion.Shaky though his answer was, it wasn’t just delivered to Seokjin. It was delivered to the heavens above. 🦢~~~~ 🦢🦢 ~~~~ 🦢
