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It ran through Han Ji Woo's mind all day like a broken cassette. Compared to the scent that had already disappeared from the robe he stole from Kang Seo Joon's closet before running away, the memories he had with the actor never faded even after a year had passed.He had imagined all sorts of scenarios and words he'd say if Kang Seo Joon finds him after hiding miles away from Seoul, yet hoping Seo Joon will not find him. He was ashamed of himself. He knew he never deserved that beautiful man and yet he still attempted to fit in.That's why he regrets it.He could not exactly figure out what it was that he regretted. If he regretted falling deeply in love or he regretted hiding away in this small town where he grew up. However, during the time they were together, he could not imagine a future for the two of them. If Seo Joon is a star in the sky, he is a speck of dust in this universe floating in the air that will eventually disappear and forgotten. Did Kang Seo Joon already forget about him? He hoped he did but he also hoped Seo Joon was hurt because of him.Until the pair of eyes, he still yearned for truly found him. The eyes that still look at him the same way as it did in the past. Except, there is a hint of sadness in it. Kang Seo Joon was hurt because of him, and his mouth that trained to spout sharp words to stab Seo Joon's heart wished it would stop but it didn't. Every single word that spilled from his mouth kept pushing Seo Joon away. He didn't mean it. He didn't want to hurt Seo Joon, but he could not help it.Ji Woo was terrified. Seo Joon found the robe he hid away in his room and took it. What would Seo Joon do if he found out he wore it every night and embraced it until he fell asleep? He would never know that Ji Woo hadn't thrown his ring on the mountain. In fact, it was just under his pillow so he could see it all he wanted, but the moment Seo Joon entered his personal space, he wanted to throw it—no, bury it. He buried it in the mountain and left a trace so he wouldn't lose it, it was the handkerchief that was given to him when he was still mourning for his parents. Kang Seo Joon can forget all about him, but Han Ji Woo will keep everything he used to share with that special man he still loves even up to this day."So, are you still expecting him to know this too? But I think it's too difficult this time even for Kang Seo Joon." Said Sung Yoon before Ji Woo looked away.While dating Seo Joon, Sung Yoon keeps appearing in his mind. He finally understands the pain Sung Yoon used to feel when he doesn't spare her his time. When she had to wait for him all the time. When he doesn't pick up her calls because he was busy practicing to cook. But Seo Joon did not do anything wrong. Compared to how he started avoiding Sung Yoon to spend more time by himself, Seo Joon was always doing his best to return home for him and ignore the calls inviting him to parties that Ji Woo was beginning to see himself as a burden in Seo Joon's life.Dating Seo Joon felt so right yet so lonely. He loves Seo Joon so much that he keeps wanting him for himself. But he cannot be selfish, he cannot be jealous and he cannot be a burden and affect Seo Joon's career. There's too much restraint, there's too many things that he cannot voice out that he began to wonder if it's still right to stay. Then Sung Yoon appeared in his mind once again, the words she told him to never forget until the day he dies, that she wishes for him to be unhappy for the rest of his life. This must be his karma. No matter how he tries to understand Seo Joon's lifestyle, he will remain unhappy. How strange that this relationship makes him lonelier more than the years he spent all by himself without his family."You came down here just to come back to Kang Seo Joon, right? If not, then you intend to end it completely."Ji Woo was stunned. Those words left him frozen in his seat. His eyes that always pretend it's fine can no longer hide.Every time Seo Joon came to him, he would push him away, and each time Seo Joon would come back. He wouldn't leave no matter what Ji Woo would do or say. But the moment Seo Joon wanted to give up on him, he didn't want him to go away.He wanted Seo Joon to still love him, want him. It is pathetic to feel this way, leaving and wanting the same person over and over again. And his pride ruined everything but he'd regret it even more if he let the darkness dominate his heart. Han Ji Woo may be unsure of many things, but if there is something that he knows, he will continuously love Kang Seo Joon no matter what happens to them."And you agreed to do the show knowing it might turn out this way?"Ji Woo hates getting caught like this but no matter how hard he tries, he can't control it. When it comes to Seo Joon, he always loses his cool. He wasn't even like this when his parents died but Kang Seo Joon, that superstar, that kind hearted man who loved him for who he is, created a huge turmoil inside his heart, like a tornado that created chaos in his head.He hates to admit it.. but Sung Yoon was right. He always thinks of the worst scenario first. Being shown in public can possibly bring up the past he never wants to remember, however, doing the show was for Kang Seo Joon. Kang Seo Joon should do it. Until Kang Seo Joon's reputation is positive again. Even if he doesn’t completely know what is now going on with Seo Joon's career, he won't believe any articles. He has faith in Seo Joon because Seo Joon is the kindest man he ever knows. So, it's alright, he knew his past could come to light and that doesn't scare him at all. He'd do everything to protect Kang Seo Joon.He thought helping out was enough. He also thought it was enough to spend a year with Kang Seo Joon and end it someday thinking he will never be as important in anyone’s life until he realized it wasn't.As dumb as what Seo Joon had said, he ran and chased no matter how many times Seo Joon had made it clear that he's already done with their relationship. But he cannot give up now when he already knows what he truly wants for the both of them. He wants to love Seo Joon again without restraint, without thinking about becoming unhappy, without the fear of being left behind. Because he believes in Kang Seo Joon. Kang Seo Joon is not like his parents. He is not running away again just because he is scared to be alone.If there is one thing he learned in this relationship, he learned to understand and adapt. To speak one's mind rather than putting one's pride ahead. Kang Seo Joon's love is like that and he don't want to let it go ever again.Those eyes, smile and hands that are always hovering around his body, he longed for them for a long time. Even if that beautiful face was right in front of him, he could not help but keep looking at it. How he wish he doesn't have to share this man in the whole world but what can he do? He is not the only one who wants Kang Seo Joon. And that's okay. He is fine by it because by the end of the day, he is the only one who can see the real Kang Seo Joon. The Kang Seo Joon who always put him first and accepted him for all his flaws.But it isn't only Han Ji Woo who has flaws and secrets. Kang Seo Joon also have walls that he built for a long time until it collapsed after they've gone back together. The past that he never told anyone has been spilled. The trauma he could not speak to anyone on fear of being scolded and judged is flowing naturally in his mouth. And Ji Woo embraced it with all his heart. The more he knows Seo Joon, the more protective he becomes without realizing that it is becoming a habit. Although, he doesn’t really mind because taking care of Seo Joon is his master plan for the rest of his life. He may not know where the future will take them but he is sure now that he will hold on to it through rough and happiest times.Ji Woo pulled Seo Joon's hands to his and intertwined them as he rested his lips on the back of his hand. Their rings shine on their fingers and Ji Woo indulged his eyes in it."What's wrong with you today?" Seo Joon grins as he stares at Ji Woo's rare action.It has been a few months since they got back together so meeting in specific schedule and living separately makes Ji Woo miss Seo Joon more than ever.Ji Woo shakes his head. "I just missed you.""You're really getting good at expressing yourself." Seo Joon caressed Ji Woo's head like a puppy, making Ji Woo turn back to its usual grumpy look. "Come on! I'm not teasing you. I like you like this."Ji Woo doesn't answer and casually continued holding Seo Joon's hand before turning on the uninteresting farming show on tv."Are you really watching that?""...."Seo Joon leans his head on Ji Woo's shoulder and closed his eyes. Ji Woo found much more interest in listening to the slow and steady breath of the man next to him rather than the television so he turned it off and peeked at his boyfriend's sleeping face."Are you just going to stare at me? We haven't seen each other for a week." Seo Joon quietly asked with his eyes still closed."It's okay if you're tired, I like looking at your sleeping face."Seo Joon's lips quirks up from the reply, resting his chin on Ji Woo's shoulder to look. "Do you like me a lot?"Ji Woo hums before looking away, his ears turning red and his cheek hot despite confessing his love countless of times to Kang Seo Joon."Ji Woo-yah, look at me."Despite the embarrassment, Ji Woo obediently listened and looked down to meet Seo Joon's eyes."I love you.""I love you too.""I really love you." Seo Joon weakly sighs as he squeezes their intertwined hand and place the back of his hand on his chest. Seo Joon's heart is beating as if he's ran a marathon. "Do you feel that? Take responsibility."Han Ji Woo then pulled their hands together and place the back of Seo Joon's hand to his. It's not only Seo Joon but his heart also still beats to his ears whenever he thinks of Seo Joon. It isn’t new but it will always be overwhelming. Kang Seo Joon's existence in his life is like a miracle. Who would’ve known that someone like Kang Seo Joon would accept Han Ji Woo and love him for who he is. “You too.”Kang Seo Joon giggles before pressing his lip to the taller.“Hi, I’m here.” Han Ji Woo lifts the hangered clothes he was requested to bring in by Kang Seo Joon’s new manager. It’s not like he was ordered to do it, Seo Joon’s just been busy these days now that he is filming a new drama and this kind of excuse always works just to see his face even for a moment.Seo Joon’s darkened face immediately lit up at the sight of his boyfriend and quickly masked his excitement by telling Ji Woo to enter and ask the staff inside the waiting room to leave so he could change his clothes. Once the door was closed, Seo Joon got up from his seat and pulled Ji Woo in a tight hug. Ji Woo doesn’t panic, he already locked the door the moment the staff left the room knowing Seo Joon could attack him without any caution and pulled away before Seo Joon indulges himself at the moment. Seo Joon pouted once Ji Woo pulled away and smiled once again when their eyes met.“You look tired.”“No. Now that you’re here.”“Are you eating properly? I went home to check your food, I don’t think you’re eating well. The side dishes are untouched. Are you on a diet? Should we change your food plan?”“Did you come here to nag?”“I came because I’m worried. Your shoot schedule is hectic.”“Is that all?”“You lack sleep, what else could there be?”Seo Joon raises a brow as if he knows what’s on Ji Woo’s mind. He always knows what’s on Ji Woo’s mind.“Fine. I came because I miss you, okay?”“I know. I missed you too.”Ji Woo sighs at the sight of his lover, there are dark circles under those exhausted eyes that are covered by the makeup yet easily visible to him.“What is it?” Seo Joon asked after a while of Ji Woo looking at his face with so much concern.“I brought you food. It would be nice if you could eat it now but if not, eat it later.”“Are you going to stay?”“I’ll be back in the next two days to check on you. I still have to open the restaurant.”“I’ll be home later.”“You don’t have to. It’s alright.”“No. I want to sleep next to you. I haven’t seen you for a few days, I really thought I’ll die.”“Stop exaggerating. When are you changing?”Ji Woo holds up the hanged clothes and when he thought Seo Joon is going to take it, his boyfriend instead got a hold of his wrist and drags him to the changing room, swiftly locking the door.Seo Joon takes the clothes from Ji Woo’s hand and places it on top of the dresser. “Give me energy.”“You said you’re not tired.”“I’m tired, really! Really! Extremely tired.” Seo Joon cups Ji Woo’s cheek, drawing his face closer to the taller which he rapidly avoided by taking both hands to his and pushing his body away.“No. What if they come inside and they don’t see us.”“I saw you lock the door outside. There’s no CCTV here. I also closed this door. No one will see us.”Ji Woo shakes his head at the persistence of his boyfriend.“Kang Seo Joon, do you know why I don’t want to kiss you in this kind of place?”“I know. Because you don’t want to be caught.” Seo Joon clicks his tongue as he whines.“No. That’s not it.”“Really? Then.. why?”“How long do you have before the next shoot?”“They’re still preparing so it might be about an hour?”“The answer is.. because I might not be able to stop.” This time Ji Woo cups Seo Joon’s face and pressed their lips together.Seo Joon closed his eyes with satisfaction and pulled his boyfriend closer through his waist. With an open mouth, Ji Woo let his tongue lick Seo Joon’s inside as he kept his hand steady by Seo Joon’s cheek before carefully pushing the man to the wall. A soft thud won’t probably be heard outside but as they get lost in each other’s arms, moan began to let out from their mouths. Their hands began to roam inside each other’s clothes. The heat from their cheeks seeped to their insides that no one wants to let go at any moment until a knock was heard from the outside and they finally got back to their senses.Ji Woo’s eyes widen at the sight of Seo Joon’s swollen and red lips who is now seated at the dresser with his legs wrapped around Ji Woo’s waist, a bit hazy from what just happened. Ji Woo tells himself that he’s done restraining himself however, seeing the mess he made is very concerning even on his part. The outsiders will surely be suspicious. But he can’t deny that it was hot. Having secrets with the man that he loves is surely thrilling. Back then, all he had was worries, but now, all he can think is how this is going to be one of their best memories that they can look back to the future. So, Ji Woo carefully wipes the saliva from Seo Joon’s lips as he quietly cackles at the sight of his cute boyfriend. His ruffled hair, his messed makeup and, swollen lips. How are they going to make an excuse if they see his work of art?“You’ll come home later, right?”Seo Joon nods.“Let’s continue later. I should head out before anything else happens here.”“Wait.” Seo Joon once again cups Ji Woo’s cheek and presses their lips together. “I love you.”“I love you too.”Ji Woo had to leave the waiting room with a face mask on and Seo Joon had to stay inside the changing room for a while.Seo Joon opened the front door and entered the kitchen where Ji Woo had already prepared their dinner. It’s actually already a very late dinner and Seo Joon have informed Ji Woo to eat first without him but Ji Woo still insisted to eat together no matter how late he’d arrive in Dacham. So, here they are sitting face to face while Seo Joon stuffs himself with the food Ji Woo made.“Eat slowly.” Ji Woo puts meat on Seo Joon’s spoon that have rice and watched his boyfriend eat with a smile on his face. “I’m glad your diet’s over.”“It’s delicious.” Seo Joon praises.Although, Ji Woo is aware that he’s a good cook, it still feels nice getting a compliment from the person that motivates him the most in life. He’s eating but he seems to enjoy staring at his boyfriend more who’s eating well that he is already full by the sight of it.“Is there anything that you want to do?” Seo Joon asked.Ji Woo shakes his head. “You’ll have a month-long break so let’s try to figure it out slowly. Tonight, you should sleep. And there’s no need to help out at the restaurant tomorrow, I want you to rest.”“Fine but if I get bored, I’ll come.”Ji Woo hums. After the success of Seo Joon’s drama, there was still a lot of promotion that he needed to do with his co-stars so when everything was all over, he requested a month-long break to stay in Dacham together which Pil Hyun agreed with immediately. It’s been a long time since they lived apart so it feels nice living together again even if it's only for a month.“Ji Woo-yah, look what I brought.”“Oh..” A satin pajama shines right through Ji Woo’s eyes that he could not utter a single word.“I know, it’s pretty. Let’s wear it. Wait, we should take a shower first.”There’s really nothing Ji Woo can do when Seo Joon sees something that he likes and wants to do it together so after showering, he has no choice but to wear the perfectly fit couple pajamas that Seo Joon bought online.“It looks good on you.”“Stop it.”“Your ears are getting red, why are you so cute Ji Woo-yah?” Seo Joon pinches Ji Woo’s cheek which made Ji Woo let out a groaning sound.“Let’s sleep.” Ji Woo walks inside the bedroom, leaving Seo Joon alone. He covers himself with a blanket as he pretends to sleep despite Seo Joon seeing him walk inside.Seo Joon lies down next to Ji Woo who has his back against his, he inserts his arms under Ji Woo’s head before pulling him into a hug, turning Ji Woo to his little spoon. Ji Woo naturally found Seo Joon’s hand and intertwined it in his as he pulled the actor’s chest closer to his back.“Are you sleepy?”“I don’t know..”“…”“Yoo Ha said she missed you.”“I’ll go see her tomorrow.”“…”“Is there anything that you want to do together?”“I’m not sure. Do you want to climb the mountain with me?”“Hmm.. let’s do that.”“…”“Ji Woo-yah.. should we visit your parents?”“Are you sure you want to do that?”“If it’s alright with you. I should introduce myself to them. Do you think they’ll like me?”“That doesn’t have to be asked. They will like whoever I like.”“Your parents must have been good people.”“….”“It must have been hard on you when you lost them.” Seo Joon kisses Ji Woo’s hair before leaning his head to Ji Woo’s nape with eyes closed.“You know what.. since my parents died, I have forgotten what happiness felt like but I met you and you’re the only good thing that happened to my life. I was so used to struggling and surviving alone that when you appeared in front of me, I can’t believe what was going on. I get so excited when I see you and I get so upset when I get jealous. You turned my world upside down.”“Look at me while you say that.”“I’m embarrassed.”“Fine, keep going.”“It’s just.. no one cared for me and listened to me this much before. No one really gave me this much attention and I know that’s my fault too for not putting a lot of effort around me but with you, I didn’t have to put that kind of effort. You saw me and you love me for the way I am. There were so many things that I couldn’t tell you because I wasn’t used to it. I was always alone so I never really knew how to rely on someone. I thought it would be too greedy to ask you for inevitable things. I didn’t want to be your burden. But I remember what it means now to be a family and it’s normal for me to feel this way.” Finally, Ji Woo found the courage to shift his body and face Seo Joon. His cheeks are hot which Seo Joon could not clearly see from the darkness and his eyes are everywhere before it found his lover to express what is on his mind. “Because I love you and you’re the only person that I care about.”They don’t break eye contact for a long time. Seo Joon’s eyes are wet from Ji Woo’s confession. It was all silent but the silence was comforting as long as they are together.“You can be greedy. You can be jealous over me. Honestly, it’s easy to tell when you are jealous. Do you know that you still get jealous over Pil Hyun? I don’t really understand but I like it. I like the look on your face. It tells me that you love me.”“I’m not jealous.” Ji Woo denies despite the opposite reaction on his face.“And.. if you feel like a burden, you’re not. That’s just how family are.. we share each other’s worries and happiness. We get upset with each other and overcome. It’s all inevitable so even if it’s hard, I need to know. I don’t want us to hurt each other again.”“I know. I’ll do better.”“That’s not what I meant to say.”“….”“Just stay by my side for the rest of my life.” “Okay.”Ji Woo said he wasn’t sure of what they’ll do together on Seo Joon’s break but it turns out that he already made a plan of places he wanted to visit with Seo Joon. Ji Woo still closes his restaurant twice a week so he can spend more time with Seo Joon. They did climb the mountain but they also went to the sea, they visited Ji Woo’s parents, ate at a restaurant Ji Woo is interested in and so as what Ji Woo thought would fit Seo Joon’s palate, they watched movies they haven’t seen before where Ji Woo talked about seeing all the movies and dramas Seo Joon starred in when they separated for a year, he even memorized the reality shows Seo Joon was in. They played basketball alone like the old days and had a drink with Yoo Ha’s mom. They’d passionately make love as if they’re trying to chase the times they missed each other and gaze to one another’s eyes as they hit the climax. It doesn’t end once or twice, they might have done it all over the house and they still could not help but touch even when they are washing up in the bathroom.“I wish every day could be like this with you.”“I love you.”“Say it again.”“I love you.”“I love you too.”When Seo Joon’s break was over, Ji Woo desperately closed the restaurant for a week just to stay with Seo Joon longer in their rented apartment in Seoul. The longer they date, the more Ji Woo could not take a single day without seeing Seo Joon’s face. He’d miss Seo Joon worse than usual, like an oxygen that he needed to breathe.“You two are really close.”Ji Woo and Seo Joon glances to one another from the comment made by Seo Joon’s manager, In Ho, once he and Pil Hyun entered their apartment. It has been more than a year since Ho Min was replaced that Ji Woo was amusingly baffled by the comment, they’re even wearing their couple ring!! Pil Hyun awkwardly laughs as he glances to the two of them as well. Pil Hyun and In Ho only came for a visit to talk about Seo Joon’s upcoming schedule for his new film but it became all quiet before they could start.“What’s going on?” In Ho innocently asked.“Nothing, go ahead.” Ji Woo quickly replied when Seo Joon doesn’t answer.“Should we tell him?” Seo Joon tilts his head as stares at the mirror with his hands in his pocket to check on his outfit.“He’ll figure it out in his own.”“I don’t think he will.”“I guess that’s good for us.”“Don’t you want to tell people?”“It’s not like that. I think it’s funny that he’s the only one who doesn’t know.”“…”“Should we kiss when he’s here?”“Han Ji Woo, you’ve really changed. Where are you getting these ideas?”“….”“I like it.”“No, we’re not going to do that. We don’t want to give a heart attack to a child.”In Ho came and Seo Joon left without getting a kiss from Ji Woo.“Han Ji Woo.” The drunk Seo Joon grins as he wobbles on the carpet of their apartment after drinking six bottles of alcohol.“Hmm?”“Come a little closer.” Seo Joon raised a hand and gestured Ji Woo to move. Ji Woo who is also tipsy obediently slides in the carpet to sit more closely to his lover.Seo Joon swiftly cups Ji Woo’s plump cheeks and bit his lover’s lower lip.A scream facing them was heard in the entire apartment. “CAN’T YOU DO THAT WHEN WE’RE NOT HERE?!” Pil Hyun tries to avoid the annoying sight and slightly missed his girlfriend before shaking In Ho from his sleep to get up so they can leave.In Ho, who was sobered by the ten minutes sleeps have his eyes widen in shock and was unable to utter a single word.“Stop looking and let’s leave these annoying men!”“B..b.. but..” In Ho pointed at the two who are now lost in each other’s world.“What?”“….”“Ah, they’ve been dating for two years. How do you not know that?” Pil Hyun laughs loudly before getting annoyed again once his eyes landed to the two. “Get up, hurry! My eyes are burning.”In Ho rushes to stand and pick up his things with his eyes unable to look away. Pil Hyun pushes him until they’re out of the door and it was closed.The apartment is now completely silent with only the breath of two men left. Ji Woo easily pushes Seo Joon to his back and hovered in Seo Joon’s body with his palm going right through Seo Joon’s nape. Seo Joon then grabs Ji Woo’s hair and pulls him closer, pressing their lips harder, sucking and biting until they are out of breath. Soon, Ji Woo’s lips hovered in Seo Joon’s neck, subconsciously careful in biting and leaving marks. His hand slides from Seo Joon’s shoulder to his waist, thighs and pulling his legs to wrap around his body. Seo Joon tightly secures his legs around Ji Woo’s waist, looking for friction as he gets hard from the sensation in his body. Ji Woo was quick to figure out Seo Joon’s needs but before he continued, he spoke. “They’ve left. Let’s go the bed.”In Ho was unable to look at Seo Joon and Ji Woo when they met again. Pil Hyun pats In Ho’s back after noticing.“Ji Woo-yah, you’ve really changed big time. You’d usually stop Seo Joon hyung from doing weird shit when we’re together but now you just-“ Pil Hyun sighs deeply as he think of the scenario last night.“Don’t scold Ji Woo. I was the one who kissed him.” Seo Joon defends.Ji Woo wanted to look away to look like he’s reflecting but he can’t help smile when Seo Joon was defending him. He’s not even sorry. Besides, Seo Joon’s manager should’ve known about it a long time ago.“In Ho-yah, look at this.” Seo Joon grabs Ji Woo’s hand and shows off the ring they both wear. “Have you not noticed this?”In Ho’s mouth was slightly open as he thinks of an answer. “I just really thought you two get along so well. Hmm.. like it’s a friendship ring.”“Yeah, friendship ring.” Pil Hyun chuckles.“So.. are you okay?” Ji Woo asked in concern just in case it is uncomfortable.“He doesn’t have to concern himself in whatever relationship I’m in. Let’s just do a good job. You get that In Ho?”“Hyung! Don’t scare him!” “No, I’m okay. Congrat- no, I mean.. I’m happy for you two.”“Thank you.” Seo Joon replies with a slight sarcasm in his tone.Seo Joon later leaves with Pil Hyun and In Ho for a commercial shoot. Ji Woo is once again left in the apartment. He cleans up and checks Seo Joon’s needs to pass time as he waits for Seo Joon to return home. Tomorrow he will have to leave to open his restaurant so he has to make sure Seo Joon is going to be fine without him for the whole week. He walks into their bedroom and finds the polaroids and pictures they put on frame that they took in the past years. Ji Woo shudders at the memory without Seo Joon. He used to think that people in the same sky are the only stars that could shine, that he will forever just be a shadow, a background in a special person’s life that will eventually fade and disappear among the stars shining in the sky. But here he is, standing in the same place where he ran away. He can clearly see now what he could’ve missed if he had let go of Seo Joon’s hand. His life would’ve been in constant darkness if Seo Joon didn’t come to his rescue. He used to be so afraid of the darkness but now, he knows where he belongs. He wants to be the cosmos of his star and be with him until the end of time.