Work Text
After Cincinnati Open, Jack Draper was stuck, looking through comments on his “rivalry” between him and Felix Auger-Aliassime. He was explicitly told not to. His team and his friends ORDERED him to stay away from social media after that match in Cincinnati. Draper had known that people were on Felix’s side, they were chanting replay right in front of the both of them that day. What he didn’t know was this match point might be stuck to his reputation for the rest of the season and maybe beyond that.Seemingly, every single person on any form of social media had labelled him “a cheater”. A unredeemable cheat that should be punished because a call that was too difficult for the human eye to process in the moment was somehow his fault. It would have be easier to block out the massive amount of messages if only… if only he did believe himself.Yes, that ball at Cincinnati had double bounced.They saw it in the replay and Jack saw it. He FELT it. No amount of reassurance could make that change. He was a liar. Everyone had to understand, though, he NEEDED this competition because…Then Jack continued to scroll down every instagram reel, highlight video and tweets of that match.“Felix was so calm during this whole thing, any other tennis player would have lost their shit.”“The Canadian No. 1 is as classy as it gets.”“The difference is Felix has honour and Jack does not.”“Felix replayed a similar point with Andy Murray, he’s always been a gentlemen”He lost the next match against Rune. Holger seeing him just before the match and stating to him straight: “I’m doing this for Felix and everyone on his side.” Players knew that Rune was a trash talker but the Brit doubted everyone had gotten such a personal insult from him. Rune was friends with Felix and Jack just imagined the texts they sent to each other, before and after the match. Then Jack lost.Fucking Felix. Everyone thought that the Canadians were perfect. Jack knew for a fact that Shapo had a temper and Felix… well. Jack had never practiced or played with him even though they came up through Juniors together - he didn’t REALLY know him. Regardless, everyone calling Felix something akin to a cherub, Jack just assumed the worst. That the next time they see each other, Felix would rub it in his face.And next time, couldn’t come soon enough.—The US Open high wore off so quick. The quarter-final was such an short endeavour. He was proud of himself through it though, so much so that he’d almost forgotten about Felix. He didn’t even hear about him in New York, FAA dropped out the first round and Draper had not thought about him since, outside of that time when he saw Felix practicing early on and Jack switched courts with Musetti and Carlos to get further from the Canadian.Within 2 weeks, he was now going back to the England for the Davis Cup. It was the North, so at least it wasn’t his exact home crowd but it was rough. The Mancunians were crowding and recognising him in several places. They were all expecting something from him, for his US open run to mean something. It’s only the group stage but Team GB was not doing well, losing to both Finland and Argentina.Before they even knew it, Canadians in the last round was peeking over, already looking to finish at the top of their group.Denis Shapovalov broke Dan Evans to bits. And Great Britain was out.It wasn’t a huge deal, he had to prepare for Tokyo Open anyways, his dad and brother agreed Davis was a distraction to his ranking fight so it was actually a good thing. He still watched as Denis celebrated with his teammates though. Then Denis’ faced his best friend - FAA. There Jack was, scheduled for a dead rubber against someone he’d been avoiding since they were in Ohio a month ago.“Dan, can you check if they’re around the corner?”Evans, as good hearted and worn out as he was, didn’t want to entertain Jack’s childish anxiety. “God, it’s fine, you’ll have to walk out together anyways. You’ll be fine okay-”Jack peeked out at the corridor from the changing room again, pulling Evans with him. “I don’t want to be in front of him, then I won’t be able to see him coming.” Dan laughed at him and finally gets himself out there to look.—Nothing went right for him. He played well enough but he lost the tie breaks and the points that mattered. Felix got him in straight sets. Throughout the entire game, Felix was smirking. He was so relaxed that it made Jack tense up more. What the fuck is Felix doing to him? Every time he looked over the net, he swore Felix was mocking his stance.“Jack Draper decimated his racquet on court, days after his biggest ATP match.”He couldn’t control himself, Felix won that first tie break and Draper smashed his racquet.“Revenge on Draper.”After the match, Shapovalov sat down and refused to shake his hand.“Imagine having beefing with Felix, the nicest man on tour.”He didn’t want to see his family yet, he’s already texted to say he’ll go to them in a bit. Instead, Jack was shaking in the dressing room, his back against the bench as he sat on the floor, fists curled up and completely finished.At the end of the game, he went up to shake Felix’s hand, the Canadian barely made eye contact, flickering up to look at him only slightly before pulling his hand away almost instantly. Jack looked so stupid, the whole match he was losing his nerve and- “Hey, um, Jack?” There was a knock at the door, it opened only so slightly, waiting for confirmation. Jack’s never met another French Canadian so he knew that accent came from one man.“You alright?” He still couldn’t see his face. For all Felix knew, there wasn’t anyone there, or someone completely different. He was taking the risk of being wrong for…Draper stayed silent for a second longer than he wished to, then when he heard some shuffling and the door creaking a bit back, he wiped his face before speaking in a hurry.“Yea.” He managed to push his voice up.Felix walked in slowly, approaching with caution, with his green jacket and black sweatpants. Jack hadn’t even changed yet, he became very aware of how his shirt stuck to him with sweat. There was a weird look on his opponent’s face.“I heard you… um.” There was no shyness in the hesitation, just a question not asked. His kind brown eyes assessing Jack, his brow rather low watching him. There was no passive aggressiveness between them like there was on court. No crowd, just the two of them, speaking alone with each other for the first time in a month. Maybe Jack had his mouth slightly agape at the man opposite him for a little too long but was Felix always this tall? Jack craned his neck more as he walked closer. He tried to uncurl his legs to get up but he doesn’t, he just appeared to be shuffling and stressing his knees on the ground.Felix extended his hand towards Jack. Again, he paused looking at Felix’s hand and then at his face.For some reason, Jack still had the strength to hold on to it. The Canadian’s grip was strong compared to Jack’s shakes. He tried to stop shivering as Felix pulled him to his feet, but all that happened was his heart pounded quicker. His feet balanced himself well enough but his hands were all cold when he let go of Felix’s.“Alright. I’ll see you at Tokyo Open, eh?” Felix placed a soft smile on his face. Jack had his doubts about if it was genuine or not, but it didn’t matter all that much.“Yeah. See you there.” Jack tried to paste his own smile on his face but it did seem a little false. He also didn’t realise how warm his face was until he grinned. For a second, Jack remembered that he’s been staring at Felix more than a beat too long again but he couldn’t look elsewhere.The Canadian nodded at him and patted his shoulder as he turned away. It’s never been so quiet in a changing room than when Felix left Jack standing in that one alone.—Jack eventually got himself to Tokyo, it was barely a week and a half later, the weather was scorching and he found himself get worried about it. He was used to getting anxious fast, so there isn’t a huge difference there.Tokyo Open had a event at the beginning where all the players and their teams were invited to play games… well, it’s pretty much just media day part 1. Draper just sat in the corner, off near where the lamps didn’t illuminate too harshly. He sucked in more of the Tokyo Summer heat, the last he’ll enjoy before he’s sure he’ll start hating it. Watched Taylor Fritz appear with Felix following in tow, both their girlfriends also not far behind. Right. Jack tried to look occupied, going on his phone but it’s hard to look engaging in anything significant if you’re alone. His dad was busy talking to everyone he used to work with, his brother didn’t even come and his coach was off elsewhere. But when Jack finished fidgeting, he looked up and they were gone. Of course, why would they notice him anyway. Not being on the tour very consistently, made a lot of people forget about him.He wanted to follow up, to find someone to speak to, maybe Ben Shelton or Arthur Fils but he didn’t.The Open just began and Jack played at the same time as Felix. The Canadian was playing against Nishioka. And Jack won against Bellucci. When Jack finished comfortably, he got to watch Felix lose two terrible points against Yoshihito, even though he played a better overall game. Jack knew that him and Felix were on the opposite sides of the draw and they would have to meet in the finals if they were to meet at all, but still, disappointment pooled at the bottom of his stomach. Jack wasn’t sure where this all came from, he just wanted to see Felix again- without going out of his own way.Jack saw Felix leave the building, not like a creep but they happened to leave at the same time. There was a sad air to it, Felix really need a come-back. He lost the first round at US Open and now the first round out Tokyo Open. Everything seemed to spiral out of control for him after their encounter in Ohio. Jack tried not to think about that when Felix bumped his shoulder with his own.“Heard you had a great game.”“Yeah?” Jack walked out of the stadium only hearing people say “good win” or “nice job,” but not “good game”. It was a good game, for him at least. He wasn’t trying to be clever but just clinical like he was working on.“Had a good day, that’s all really.” Jack bit him lip to hold back a smile, that would be too proud. When Jack remembered Felix’s loss, he quickly stopped walking to clarify.“I’m sorry, um-” Jack stuttered, but obviously Felix was not offended.Felix brought out his famous smirk again. “Nah, I just had a bad day, didn’t I.”Jack would have been crushed in his position, but Felix still held himself. Obviously, the Canadian didn’t go around breaking racquets but his calm in such a situation was unfathomable to Jack. If Jack were to ever reached top 10 in his career, it would be aspirational to have the same smile Felix did in the face of defeat - but he doubt he could keep his emotions in check like that.Atlas, Matteo Berrettini and Hubert Huracz walked around the corner from the car park - waving Felix to come quicker. Why was Felix friends with absolutely everyone?“Gotta go, good luck with the rest.”“Thanks.”— He’s managed to tear his ab in the middle of quarterfinal game in Tokyo days later.Walked out with his head high, but he didn’t feel anything. He was so tired of getting injured all the time, his body was failing him and he was only 22. The quick spikes of anxiety from the pain in his ab spurred his thoughts: “What if I continued to do this every time I play. What if I never win a title after this season? What the hell was he supposed to do with injuries other than wallow and think catastrophically?”Jack got himself to the medic room and then got himself to his physio.He was floating.His team looked more annoyed than concerned at this point, he told himself.Jack didn’t seem to think about anything, someone was talking about the schedule and that his mother was urging them to bring Jack home for treatment - but that just went through him. Everything was going through him. The air was light and he was light but somehow he was staying on the ground.No one seemed to notice when he slipped off to the changing rooms but he found himself hovering over the bin outside of the shower. He was just staring into it, his stomach churning but with no avail.“Oh shit.” An American accent pierced the cold changing room air.“Do you need me to get someone Draper?” Shelton.Jack’s mind was getting hotter, he wanted to say “No thanks, I’ll leave this breakdown for myself to suffer as I’ve been enough for a nuisance today.” But the only thing that came out of his mouth was“Felix, here?”“Felix? Sure, uh yeah-” Shelton shuffled out, his slightly panicked voice faded as he said something about Felix being around to use the practice courts.About 4 seconds later, Jack’s empty mind registered people coming into the changing room again.“-he looks like he did during US open when he was playing Sinner y’know and-” Ben’s voice approached him with another set of footsteps.“Jack?” Felix’s voice turned him around, however slowly he did.Jack saw him again, he’s wearing the same shirt he wore at his one game in New York. He looked concerned, maybe. Jack felt the heat in his mind start to concentrate behind his eyes.“I’m going to miss Shanghai Open.” Jack responded with his voice breaking, at this point he wasn’t fighting it.Felix got closer to Jack - his eyes wider. His fear for Draper was faint but somehow Jack saw it.Jack’s feelings flood back into him immediately. The ground beneath him seemed to vibrate, sucking the numbness out of the air.Even though Felix was slowly approaching as if Jack was a wounded rabbit left as roadkill - Jack got to him a little quicker and wrapped his arms around his neck, covering his face with his forearm on Felix’s shoulder. Jack felt Felix reciprocate and held his back and shoulders.“It happens.”The heat behind Jack’s eyes leaked out, only a little. Felix held his neck, smoothing his short hair.“If anyone were to be lucky to have no injuries their entire career, call me and I’ll complain to God about it myself.”They sat down for a good 30 minutes. Ben was there too, nodding at what Felix had to say, still kind of looking at Jack as if he were to break into tears again. Felix hadn’t made Jack feel like that, even though he was aware his eyes and nose were still pink every time he sniffled.When Ben was called to go complete his post-match stretching. Felix walked Draper back to his team. On the way, he was just staring at Felix, as he’s done for half an hour now.“Life happens outside of hitting the ball. We might remember that if we stopped staring at it every and all day long.” Felix said as Jack walked to a stop just as they arrived at the door, shielding them from his team.This time, Jack didn’t jump into Felix’s arms (as his sense of embarrassment returned as well) but Felix saw him and held him anyways. Draper’s grip of Felix tightened a little more than last time.“Get some rest. I’ll see you out there. Whenever you come back.” He lets go and Felix pats the side of his head.Jack watched Felix spin around and turn out of the corridor.The Brit breathed and pushed into the room.—When Jack got back in London, the first thing he did was watch the Beijing Open final with his team, snapping a photo to cheer Yannick on. But, every few minutes, he was refreshing Google to see when Felix’s 1st round at Shanghai was scheduled.It was Friday morning. And before he knew it, Felix had lost the worst match he’d seen him play this year, against Muller. Jack’s friends from home like Paul Jubb, messaged Jack about Felix’s recent run of failures being karma. Jack didn’t reply.Instead, he sat there all day, running through what he might text Felix. When his brother brought groceries back to the house, Jack considered asking him but he just thanked him for the smoothie he bought from the corner shop.It was past midnight when Jack finally worked up the words in him to tell Felix something.Are you alright? Jack’s phone glowed in the darken bedroom, he just imagined what it looked like if he could see himself, his illuminated eyes - anticipating a buzz from his phone. It had to be the longest 10 minutes until Jack saw a notification pop up.
not really,
but Shapo somehow found a Tim Hortons in Shanghai so we’re having breakfast
Felix sent a picture to follow, Denis was holding an ice cap coffee with a breakfast bagel on their table, looking at his phone.
That’s nice. Jack sent it without thinking. Then he realised he’s trapped himself into a corner without a line that could lead back into a conversation.
want to call? when you wake up? it should be about early morning for you lol
Sure. Jack smiled, HE SMILED - without anyone to witness it.—The next morning, Jack found himself sitting in his childhood drawing room, crosslegged as he talked to Felix on the phone. The French-Canadian had a tone in his voice where he obviously didn’t want to talk about his losses so they steered away from that. They talked about all sorts, Shanghai’s weather, the commercialness of the current media activities they had to do and the fans. Felix told Jack about when he saw a fan yelling bweh in Andrey’s face. Then they started talking about juniors.“The first time I saw you, I think I was 14 and you were 12? It was my first time in Europe- it was for the ITF’s junior thing.” Felix had a brighter voice recounting those days. It was weird that they’ve been in orbit for so long but that’s just how the people privileged enough to play tennis live.“Yeah, my dad was invited there and my brother wanted to play but couldn’t.”“That’s pretty weird right? All of us are like a decade older but technically, still all doing
the same things. Sometimes it feels like we never grew up- like we never left school.”Jack thought about that a lot actually. Sometimes he wishes it was otherwise. What would have happened if he and his brother chose something else? But all paths seemed to die here.Then Jack thinks.“That year I got second place at Wimbledon Juniors. 5 people told me it was because you weren’t a junior anymore.” Jack looked away from the window of the room and scanned into the shelves - seeing the proudly displayed Wimbledon Junior 2nd place plaque.“2018?” Felix’s memory was fast, perhaps it was memorable.“Yeah.”“I had a terrible run that year, I missed being a junior so bad, man. Didn’t even make it to Wimbledon, was too busy playing challengers.” The Canadian huffed just thinking about it.“Didn’t feel like it. I always felt like you were so far ahead from everyone.” Jack remembered it all deeply, the next-gen predictions and how Denis and Felix and everyone that was only a little older than him being praised into the sun.“I remember in 2016, I was obsessed with your career. You did so much when we were juniors like, no one could keep up.” Jack stumbled when he said career, he was just hoping the call quality didn’t catch that.“And whenever I saw you with Denis. I wanted that, like - someone to grow up together and climb the ranks with.”“But I couldn’t really do it, I tried with Loffhagen but it didn’t work out.”It’s quiet for a second. And honestly Jack never thought they’d have this moment.When they were juniors together, they never had any moments together. They never played against each other and never spent time together. Jack only knew Felix from a far, paired with Denis or any of the Canadians or Ugo or … anyone. Everyone liked him. But Jack was quiet. Maybe it was his stupid poshness but he didn’t really know how to interact properly with other juniors without talking about the game seriously. He always admired how Felix was with the other boys, calmly sensible but enjoyable to be around.“You have plenty of chances to be someone’s doubles partner, now. Especially since Sinner’s up there…” Felix weighed out,“Yeah.” Jack could feel himself get quieter.“Hey.” Felix’s voice crackled through the phone again. “It’s going to be good. YOU’RE going to be good.” Felix laughed, smoothing over whatever tension Jack might be having in his chest. “I thought you were going to do so well this year, I told the media team that you were going to be THE break out star.” Felix affirmed.Jack grinned at that.“I guess I proved your predictions right. You’re welcome for that, Oxford.” Jack joked, the morning sun had appeared from behind East London’s clouds outside of the drawing room window.Felix laughed back. “Maybe I’ll keep predicting you and see the limits of my power, Draper.”