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Everything after Tommy sets her down is a complete and utter blur. Ellie’s pretty sure she gave Joel some shit about crying; pretty sure he said something about her never leaving Jackson again, which is more or less what she expected. She thinks Maria may have come over and wrapped her in a hug at some point, awkwardly done because Joel refused to let go of her. All she knows for sure is that her head hurts and her feet hurt and looking at anything for longer than a minute makes her head ache something furious, so she keeps her face buried against Joel’s chest instead.She must fall asleep or something; the next thing Ellie knows she’s being shaken awake with a hand on either shoulder, and Joel’s wide, worried eyes are staring down at her. A calloused hand comes up to cup her face, thumb tracing almost absently over her cheek.“Wha -?”Joel exhales and curls in on himself ever so slightly. “Sorry, I - sorry.”Ellie blinks, squints, closes her eyes altogether when the sunlight above becomes too much. She’d had that issue the whole way back with Tommy, the motion and light and even Justified’s hooves striking the grass rattling her down to her bones. “Everything okay?”He starts to rock ever so slightly, Ellie still propped awkwardly against his chest. It makes her feel a bit like a baby, and if it was anyone else around but Tommy and Maria she might feel embarrassed. Instead she just feels comforted, safe.Cherished.“Everything’s fine,” she hears Joel say quietly from somewhere above her. One of his hands brushes over her head again, a featherlight touch that still has her flinching ever so slightly. Everything about her feels tender and sore right now - all she wants is to go home and sink into her mattress.The door opens behind her and shuts, another set of boots making their way towards her. Joel shifts her, props her up in a move that sets her skull to pounding despite how gentle his hands are. “Can you open your eyes again, kiddo?”It takes effort, but Ellie cracks first one eye and then the other, greeted by Joel still peering down at her with Laila now crouched in front of them. Tommy and Maria are leaning against the counter by the sink, his arm slung low across her hips and her head resting on his shoulder. They sport matching looks of concern; in this light Ellie can see what she hadn’t before, which is how goddamn tired her uncle looks.She wonders how long he was out searching for her.“Heard we might have a concussion here,” Laila says quietly, giving her a quick and efficient once-over. “You hit your head?”Ellie pushes against Joel’s hold until he releases her and she can sit up on her own. Her back aches - so does all the rest of her - but it’s important to her that she hold her own right now, tempting as it is to lean back on Joel once more. “Yeah…yeah I think so.”All four adults frown in her direction, concerned glances passing back and forth. “You think so?” Laila asks. She cups Ellie’s chin with a careful hand, tilting it back as gently as she can.“It’s all pretty fuzzy,” Ellie admits. “I remember being out foraging with the group, and then I slipped on something and I fell backwards. I think I fell a couple times, actually, and then everything’s kind of a blur until this morning.”Laila guides her head back down, staring hard into Ellie’s eyes for a few seconds. “Just checking your pupils,” she says reassuringly. “Their reactions to light seem normal, so that’s good. I need to get a look at the back of your head too, see what we’re working with back there.” She scoots around awkwardly on her butt, maneuvering around Joel’s outstretched leg and shooting Ellie a wink when it makes her giggle. “Anything else hurting?”“My feet,” Ellie replies around a wince as fingertips start to prod at the back of her head, parting her hair here and there and pressing at the base of her skull. “And like…kind of everything really.”Laila makes a humming noise in response but doesn’t say anything. Joel guides her so she’s leaning against him again, her forehead on his collarbone. The feel and smell of him is a comfort Ellie doesn’t think she’ll ever get used to, this one solid person for her to lean on whenever she needs him. Her hand reaches out, tangles with his.“Can you remember anything else that happened?”Ellie closes her eyes, tries to think around the throb of pain that accompanies even the lightest touch of the doctor’s fingers. “I slipped and fell,” she repeats slowly, straining her memory to the previous day. Small bits of it are there - the smell of the damp from the rain, the cracks of thunder that had made her head pound. Nothing distinct. “I think I blacked out or something, because next thing I remember is being in a part of the woods I didn’t recognize. And then –”A particularly firm press behind her ear cuts off her words, vision spotting and spinning, and Ellie presses her face to Joel’s chest with a low groan. “‘M gonna be sick,” she manages, bile already slithering up her throat and filling her mouth.Joel shifts her, turns, and then there’s the spatter of Ellie’s vomit echoing hollowly in what sounds like a bucket; she doesn’t open her eyes to check. Instead she heaves until it feels like there’s nothing left, focusing instead on the warmth of Joel’s hand between her shoulder blades, the careful scrape of his calloused fingertips over the back of her neck.A damp cloth is wiped over her lips and chin, hopefully by Joel; shitty as she feels right now, she can’t handle the embarrassment of someone else cleaning her up. There’s a little rustling - a careful brush of the back of a hand over her forehead - and then she’s leaning into Joel’s solid warmth once more.“I’d like to get her to the clinic, give her a good look over and then keep her at least until tomorrow for observation.” The doctor’s voice is little more than a quiet murmur, laden with sympathy.Ellie moans; if she didn’t think it would make her sick again, she’d shake her head. “Wanna go home,” she forces out. All she wants now is her bed and her pile of blankets and at least one of Joel’s flannels to bundle herself into. Comfort, familiarity, nobody else hovering around. She spent the night out in the fucking woods in a fucking thunderstorm - she really doesn’t think she’s asking for too much right now.“Ellie –” Joel starts, and she knows he’s gonna try to tell her she needs to go, needs to let Laila and whoever else is on shift look her over and take care of her. Poke and prod and wake her up to look in her eyes. But the thought of it just sounds fucking awful, so Ellie tries one more time.“Please.” Her voice cracks, hand fisting in the fabric of his shirt. She can feel him soften slightly, sigh, and a brief starburst of hope lights in her chest. Joel is, to his core, a softie. He caves more frequently than Ellie thinks he realizes, and she hopes he never catches on.But then his lips brush over her temple, and he murmurs, “‘M sorry, baby, but you gotta.” Even as quiet as he’s being, his voice is firm, unwavering. He’s the only person Ellie knows to be more stubborn than her when he wants to. There’ll be no changing his mind.Ellie cracks her eyes open again, grateful that someone seems to have drawn the thin curtains over the window. It’s still horrendously bright, but more manageable. The tension bracketing Joel’s lips loosens when he sees her looking at him, his other arm wrapping around to carefully cup the back of her neck. “Know you don’t wanna,” he continues, sympathetic and gruff, “but you've been through a lot the last day or so, and you need to be looked over properly. I’ll get you a blanket and your pajamas from home ‘f you need, but you just threw up. You got some nasty bumps on your head, your feet are all cut up, and you’re shakin’ like a leaf.”Oh. She is, isn’t she - Ellie hadn’t even realized. Her whole body is trembling, the damp of her clothes settling a chill across her skin. Her right side is warm where she’s pressed against Joel, but goosebumps are sprouting across everywhere else.“Two blankets,” she negotiates weakly, “and maybe some socks.”His thumb brushes over the back of her neck again. “You got it.”–-Getting to her feet is a chore, accomplished only with Tommy and Maria helping to leverage her up while Laila does the same for Joel. She hisses in pain at the weight on her aching soles, and Tommy immediately scoops her up to carry her to the door. Much as Ellie would love to tease him - ask for another piggyback ride, even - the roll of his gait is enough to make everything swim around her, so she shuts her eyes and holds on.“Gonna set you down now,” Tommy whispers into her hair, and when she nods, he lowers her down onto a firm surface. A sled of sorts, Ellie realizes when she forces her eyes open again. Hooked up behind Alydar, wide enough that she doesn’t have to worry about falling off.Joel makes his way towards her with his crutch under his arm, frowning as he wends his way around the massive puddles of water turning the road to a muddy quagmire. Ellie can tell even if nobody else can - it’s bothering the fuck out of him that he’s so hamstrung by his injury right now. That it kept him from coming out after her himself, that it’s keeping him from picking her up and carrying her all the way to the clinic, horse and sled be damned. It’s in the set of his jaw, the white-knuckle grip of his hand on the crutch, the sorrow and guilt lurking in his eyes.Sometimes Ellie wishes she didn’t know Joel so well.He gives her shoulder a careful squeeze before Maria guides him around the sled and up to a drier strip of land. And then the sled is setting off, Tommy keeping pace alongside her as Laila guides the horse with a hand on the bridle. Mud coats the bottom of his jeans, flecking up to stick to her hands where they’re braced on either side of her. Joel picks his way up and around what feels like oceans of silty water with Maria steadying him on one side. He gradually falls more and more behind them, the bulky brace around his knee hampering him as much as it helps.Ellie blinks and everything warps around her, smearing and splitting and twisting until she has to tilt her head back and squeeze her eyes shut.“Ellie?”Tommy’s worried voice slips into her ears, and Ellie presses her lips together till they go numb. One breath - one movement of her throat - and she thinks she might be sick again. Her head is pounding, behind her ear and around her crown and into her neck and - she might be freaking out, just a little.But that look on Joel’s face as Ellie pulled slightly further away - the worry that edged toward fear - and the reminder of his injury, his breakability in the shape of that brace on his leg, it had curled into her chest and pressed down until there was no air left. And the way her vision had split down the middle, showing her two of everything around her for a split second, she –“Ellie?” Tommy’s voice is more urgent this time, closer even as it stays soft. “Darlin’, I need you to look at me.”Ellie whimpers slightly, hand reaching out blindly. She’s afraid to open her eyes, afraid that everything will still be doubled, that she’ll have to see twice the amount of worry on his face, twice the amount of panic on Joel’s. Everything fracturing and the world spinning like it had was shaking her, filling her to the brim with terror.A hand wraps around hers, squeezing tightly. Warm, firm, a hint of callous on the palm, grounding her just enough for the nausea to ebb and Ellie to crack her eyes open, just a sliver.Tommy’s peering down at her, other hand coming up to brush carefully over her forehead. “You with me?”Not really, she wants to say. Her head feels scrambled, every blink making her vision fade and then sharpen again in a way that’s leaving her feeling off-kilter. “Joel?”“Right behind us,” Tommy assures her. “But he’s an old man, you know, he’s slower’n frozen molasses.”Ellie snorts, regretting it immediately when it makes her skull throb. Yeah, he’s slow. But she kind of needs him right next to her right now .Something of that must show on her face, because he’s immediately crouching down in front of her again, glancing over his shoulder to track his brother’s progress through the mud and muck. “He’ll be here in just a minute, darlin’, alright? But why don’t we get you inside so we can get you into somethin’ dry and Laila can start lookin’ you over? We’ll get you in, get settled, and I’ll run to your house for your pajamas and blankets. That way Joel ain’t hobblin’ all over town and he can stay right here with you.” He squeezes her hand again, brown eyes shifting to that pleading puppy dog look he’s so good at. And it works - some of the storm inside Ellie tempers, fades. “Sound good?”She can see Joel over his shoulder, still making his way carefully towards her. His face is drawn, discomfort flitting across it whenever he puts his weight on his bum knee, and suddenly Ellie can’t watch it any longer. He looks like that because of her, because she couldn’t manage to keep her feet under her on a simple foraging trip, she had to fall and get herself all fucked up.“Let’s go in,” she tells Tommy, eyes drifting shut when looking up at him sets everything to spinning and tilting again. “Please.”Her back teeth grind together when he scoops her up to carry her inside, trying desperately not to hurl all over his chest. It sends pain sparking up the side of her face and into her skull, but it serves as enough of a distraction to keep the nausea at bay for the time being.It’s chilly in the clinic; damp still clings to her clothes and makes her shiver. Cradled as she is against Tommy, naturally he feels it. “Almost there,” he tells her quietly. “Get you all dried off and bundled up and you’ll be a cozy little house mouse again in no time.” House mouse. A nickname Joel had given her months ago, borne of her habit of making a burrow of blankets on the couch. Ellie had kind of hated it at first, because who the fuck wants to be compared to a rodent? But after a little bit it had sort of nestled into her chest with a comfortable warmth because it…well, it was hers. In a way that sometimes baby and baby girl weren’t. She loved those names, cherished them for what she knew they signified as far as her place in Joel’s life.But they would always have been Sarah’s first. And the silly little mouse nickname was hers, and hers alone.She gets set down on a mattress, a blanket pulled loosely around her. “You wait right here,” Tommy tells her, thumb stroking over her hairline. “Laila’ll be in with you soon, and I’m gonna go wait outside for your old man so he doesn’t go runnin’ anyone down tryin’ to find you.” He makes a soft noise in the back of his throat, something between humor and dismay. “Probably oughta see if they got another bed they can drag in here for him to use so he gets off his damn leg.”Ellie only faintly registers the receding sound of his steps, the careful shutting of the door behind him. The ache in her behind her eyes is lessening now that it’s quiet and dim, and she’s no longer in motion. She curls into a ball under the blanket, tugging it up over her shoulders. Stupid, maybe, when she’s still in damp clothes, but it’s a fraction warmer and that’s all she wants. Her feet are stinging something fierce, there’s little pulses of pain all up and down her back that’ll probably be bruises, and every single bit of her just hurts .But for the first time in somewhere around a day, Ellie’s moderately comfortable, and she slips easily into a light doze.She wakes when a light hand brushes over her forehead. The light in the room is still muted when she opens her eyes; Laila looks down at her with a gentle smile. “Didn’t mean to wake you,” she says. “Just need to get a better look at the wounds on your head, and then we’ll clean your feet and get you into something dry. Can you roll a little further onto your side for me?”Ellie complies, shifting so she’s nearly on her stomach. Fingers part her hair at the back of her head, prodding carefully. This time, thank heavens, it doesn’t have her fighting down vomit, just another spasm of pain that ricochets up behind her eyes. Everything hurts a little less after the sleep, but somehow she’s even more tired than before she drifted off.“We’ll have to get these cleaned out.” Laila’s voice is nearly a whisper, something Ellie appreciates. “Probably help you get to the bathroom and we’ll wash your hair and scalp. Nothing looks like it’ll need stitches, but I’ll be able to tell better when we’ve got the dirt cleared away.”A faint groan interrupts Ellie’s answer, and she opens one eye to find the origin of the sound. Joel’s on a bed just a few feet from her, jaw clenched and eyes squeezed shut as George prods carefully at his knee. The leg of his jeans is rolled up as far as possible, and even from here Ellie can see how swollen it looks. Worse, she thinks, than it had last time she’d seen it a day ago.“How are we doing over there?” Laila asks, fingers still combing carefully over Ellie’s scalp. It would almost feel nice and relaxing if not for the way each touch makes her head pulsate with discomfort.“Well,” George sits back, tilts his head a bit, eyes still on Joel’s knee, “swollen all to hell, that’s for sure. Still don’t think there’s anything torn, at least not completely, but he’s gonna need to be off it as much as possible awhile longer.” He scratches at his short, wiry beard. “Maybe oughta get some ice in here for it too.”Laila makes a humming sound; the mattress behind Ellie shifts, and then the doctor pulls a chair up to the foot of the bed. “Lay on your back for me now, hon,” she says to Ellie, rolling the blanket up to expose her socked feet. To George, she says, “Funny, that’s more or less what I told him too. Maybe he’ll listen to you instead.”“I’ll stay off the damn thing,” Joel says flatly, “once Ellie’s home and situated.” He bites back another groan as George resumes his careful examination.There’s a flicker in Laila’s eyes, something between irritation and amusement, but she doesn’t say anything. All her focus narrows in on Ellie’s feet, and she sets to work. It burns as she works off what remains of Ellie’s socks, blood-soaked and torn beyond mending, and cleans the cuts there. She remembers faintly something of the pain of stepping on a sharp rock, of stumbling over a few of them before tucking herself against a tree in a pitiful attempt to shelter from the onslaught of rain.No idea what happened to her shoes though.“You’ll both need to be off your feet for a bit,” Laila says firmly. Hazel eyes meet Ellie’s, the look there not dissimilar to the one Maria levels her with when she wants to be listened to. “These cuts aren’t deep enough to need stitches either, but they are gonna be tender as hell for a few days at least.”“Ellie’ll stay off her feet,” Joel says from the next bed. “Don’t worry.”Her voice isn’t quite as strong as his, but Ellie manages a “So will Joel” around a hiss of pain. She knows her cuts have to be cleaned, because she does not want to be losing limbs from infection even in a place as nice as Jackson. But damn, does it hurt almost as much as the cuts themselves had.“Ellie –” Joel starts, and she really wishes he wouldn’t. She doesn’t have the strength to argue with him now, not like she usually would, and she’s only saved by the opening of the door to admit Tommy. His arms are laden with blankets and clothes, and he nudges the door shut behind him with the heel of his shoe.“How are we doin’ in here?” He asks, setting the stack on a chair and walking over to peer down at Joel’s knee. He lets out a low whistle, fingertips tucked in his pockets. “Well, that don’t look good at all.”“It’s fine,” Joel says through gritted teeth, reaching down to bat George’s hands out of the way and start rolling his pant leg down. “I’ll just put the brace back on and I’ll be alright.”Laila huffs out a sigh, wheeling back from Ellie’s feet and walking into the bathroom to wash her hands again. “He needs to stay off it as much as possible,” she tells Tommy over her shoulder, chin tilted to Joel, “or else he risks permanent damage.”Joel’s voice lifts a notch, hands already furiously working at fastening the brace around his leg again even as George tries to tell him it needs to go on under the jeans for better stability. “I’ll stay off of it,” he tells the others angrily, “when my kid is at home and not concussed.”He doesn’t mean to be doing it, Ellie knows that, but his voice is getting louder and louder with each word, clanging in her skull like cymbals. She reaches behind her with a whimper, grabbing one side of the pillow and pulling it over her head to muffle the sound as best she can. Everything’s splintering again, the four adults on the other side of the room becoming eight and her bed tilting sideways until she feels like she might slip right off of it.A panicked cry escapes her lips; in a blink, Tommy is crouched down in front of her, a steadying hand on her shoulder. She sees his lips moving but can’t hear what he’s saying around the muffle of the pillow. Over his shoulder, Joel is trying desperately to get off his bed and around George. Something akin to panic has settled in the lines of his face again, brows pulled low and tight together, and a combination of guilt and pain has tears springing to Ellie’s eyes. She turns her face into the mattress, pressing it there to try to block out all the light and all the noise, she just needs it all to stop so she can breathe and have everything not hurt so badly.Tommy’s hand lifts from her shoulder and is immediately replaced by another, slightly larger and much warmer, and Ellie knows without looking that Joel’s gotten up and is crouched over her right now, his injured leg be damned. But she lets him roll her onto her back when he applies pressure to her shoulder, lets the pillow fall from around her ears.Blessed silence greets her, and when she opens her eyes again George has left and Laila has retreated to the other side of the room with her arms crossed over her stomach. Tommy’s at the foot of the bed worrying his lower lip, and sure enough, Joel’s standing right next to her. The skin around his eyes is drawn tight with pain, hand gripping the edge of the mattress tightly, but there’s nothing but worry in his gaze as he looks down at her. “Sorry,” he says quietly, “I didn’t mean to get so loud.” He drops his hand to her wrist, squeezes. “Y’alright?”“Hanging in there,” Ellie whispers back, even as they all know it’s a lie. She scoots back just a bit until she feels her hips hit the edge of the mattress. “Sit down, you’re not supposed to be on your leg. Please,” she tacks on, hoping her general pitifulness is enough to override his stupid pride and stubbornness.It works - he sits. His bad leg protrudes out awkwardly, but he’s not putting weight on it anymore so Ellie counts it as a win.Tommy pats her ankle, just enough to get her attention. “Brought you some clean clothes,” he says, hand already lifting to forestall her question. “Maria picked ‘em out, I didn’t go rootin’ through your drawers. I grabbed a couple of your blankets from the couch too, so if Doc says it’s alright why don’t we see about getting you into somethin’ comfy and dry?”Ellie’s eyes flick between the adults. “I really gotta stay here tonight?”“You do,” Joel answers. “You seem pretty concussed, kiddo, you need to be where Doc can keep an eye on you regularly.”There’s three of them against the one of her, and even if she thought she could convince them otherwise, Ellie’s not sure she could work up the energy to argue properly at the moment. Not when just a hint of noise makes her head spin and her vision fracture.Plus, getting pulled from the walls to the clinic was bad enough in terms of people in the town seeing; their house is clear on the other side of Jackson from here. No, Ellie’ll suck it up here until she can walk home under her own power.Tommy helps her out of bed, letting her lean all her weight on him on the short walk to the bathroom. Joel hobbles unsteadily behind, crutch under one arm and the other bracing himself against the wall. He stops right on the other side of the threshold, leaning there as Laila slips in and helps Ellie lower herself into a chair.“Are you gonna be okay washing by yourself?” Laila squats in front of her, elbows on her knees as she looks Ellie over again. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t concerned about your stability.”“I –” Ellie’s eyes flick from the doctor to Joel and back again. “I don’t know,” she admits, humiliation curling hot and twisted in her chest. Silly, after she’s just spent the night wandering around the woods in a daze and having to be practically coddled by her uncle like some kind of infant. But still…She’s crossed the entire fucking country, and now she can’t hold herself up for a shower.“Ellie.” Joel’s voice is soft, coaxing. Reluctantly, she looks back up at him. “Why don’t you let Laila help you change, and then we’ll get another chair in here and I’ll help you wash your hair. I’ll sit,” he tacks on when the doctor opens her mouth to interject. “We’ll both sit.”It’s still a fucking blow to her stomach, as gentle as Joel tries to make it, to have to rely on Laila to guide a pair of scrubs over her legs and a top over her head. She eyes the burn on Ellie’s forearm, tilting her chin towards it as she positions the chair in the shower and helps Ellie to it. “That give you any trouble while healing?”“No.” Ellie sighs, even the short few steps making her feet throb angrily and her vision blur ever so slightly. “Think you were right and some of the nerves in it are fried, but otherwise, no trouble with it.”Laila hums. “No more incidents with drain cleaner?”It’s not a subtle fish, but Ellie doesn’t have the energy to deflect more than a quiet “No.”“Alright.” She doesn’t push, thankfully, same as she hadn’t when Joel had shown up on her doorstep at ten at night, frantic because he’d come home from a night at the Bison with Tommy to find Ellie passed out with the skin of her arm half-melted. Just thinking about it has her tilting her head back and squeezing her eyes shut against the phantom pain.She hadn’t been allowed out of the house for a month after except for her rotations. She doesn’t think she’s ever seen Joel so scared - until this morning, at least.When Ellie opens her eyes again, Joel’s taken Laila’s place in the chair on the outside of the tub, hand reaching for the knob above the faucet. It’s one of those showers with a detachable head hanging from a long hose, and Joel adjusts it until it’s a gentle spray, testing the temperature on his hand before he aims it at the ragged strands of her hair.Even with the awkward positioning of the tub between them, Joel’s…really good at washing her hair. He doesn’t pull, doesn’t drench her, deftly avoids her many cuts and bruises. He’d helped her clean up after Silver Lake, but this felt different, and slowly her headache fades, body going boneless in the chair. She’s so relaxed she doesn’t even realize she’s speaking until the words are hanging in the air between them.“Did you do this for Sarah?”Joel startles - from the echo of her voice in a small room or from her words, Ellie doesn’t know - and water splashes along her side. “Sorry,” he mutters, aiming the spray back down. “Sorry. Yeah, I, uh…I did.”There’s a heaviness to his voice that has Ellie backtracking immediately, fingers knotting together in her lap. “You don’t have to – I shouldn’t have asked.”“‘S alright.” He runs careful fingers through the ends of her hair, and she hears the water shut off. “Washed her hair when she was real little of course, till she learned to do it herself. Her hair was a bit like Maria’s, different texture though. She had all these curls, and I used to spend hours gettin’ ‘em untangled if it was real windy or she’d been trying to braid it or somethin’.”She doesn’t quite know how to respond. Joel doesn’t share about Sarah often - maybe because Ellie doesn’t ask - but when he does she tucks the information away like a little golden nugget. Trying not to compare them; trying not to wonder if Joel compares them, even without meaning to.He calls Laila back in when they’re done, letting her help Ellie out of the tub and getting her situated so she can change - hopefully for the final time - into dry clothes. That same look from before flickers over his face, the helplessness of being stuck leaning against a wall and not being able to help Ellie himself. She tries to give him a reassuring look before he steps out and shuts the door, but she doesn’t quite think she manages it.When Ellie emerges from the bathroom, leaning on Laila and hobbling unsteadily towards her bed for the night, she sees that Joel has also changed into pajamas. His brace is on under loose sweatpants now, like George had told him, and his bed has been pulled as close to Ellie’s as possible with the end table between them. Her two favorite blankets from the house are spread over her bed, corners pulled back, and Ellie maneuvers under them, giggling when Joel leans over precariously to tuck it snuggly around her legs.“I’m gonna take another look at your head now that it’s cleaned,” Laila says, shooing Joel back to his own bed. “And then I’ll leave you be for a few hours. I think your uncle said something about going to the dining hall to get some food for the both of you, so he should be back soon.”Joel watches like a hawk as Laila maneuvers Ellie onto her side and begins parting her scalp in various places. She wants to tell him not to worry - it doesn’t hurt - but she knows it won’t do any good. Joel Miller is, to his core, a worrier. Something she never would have expected from him when they first met, but something she knows now is intrinsic to who he is. He worries, he likes to help, he hates standing by unable to do anything.So Ellie just holds her hand out in his direction until he grabs it and squeezes gently. He doesn’t let go until Laila’s done.–-Ellie dozes off and on the rest of the day. Laila comes by a couple more times to check her pupils and ask her some questions, ones that Ellie gives increasingly ridiculous answers to with each round. It doesn’t faze the doctor in the slightest, not even giving Ellie so much as a blink of confusion when her question of “What year is it?” gets a sarcastic “22 P.F.A.”Joel snorts from his bed though, so there’s a small bit of satisfaction in it.Tommy comes and goes a few times too, checking on her and making sure that Joel’s not getting up and moving around more than he’s supposed to. He doesn’t, for the most part, he stays on his bed or in the chair next to hers with his leg propped up. Maria’s at home with TJ again, he tells them, trying to get him settled after the storm and the night spent in a strange location. “She’ll come by either tonight or tomorrow morning, but we don’t wanna bring TJ yet in case he gets too loud or rambunctious.” Tommy gives her a wry grin. “Ironically, when I last left he was screamin’ his head off because we wouldn’t bring him to see you.”Ellie just grins sleepily, knowing perfectly well that TJ’s screaming more because he’s in the middle of his terrible twos and can’t get his way and less because of her specifically. Everything feels softer now that she’s warm and bundled up again, Tommy having even tucked one of Joel’s flannels over her jokingly. Her body hurts less, her vision hasn’t fractured in a few hours now. Even Joel looks marginally more relaxed, reaching over to brush fingertips over her forehead.When she starts to drift into slumber again, she doesn’t bother fighting it.Ellie wakes again sometime around sunset, room striated with pinks and oranges, and finds herself alone. No Laila or Tommy or Joel; she doesn’t bother getting up to track them down.Joel’s not far, Ellie knows that for sure. There’s no way he would leave the building with her concussed and injured, even if did have two decently functioning legs. And sure enough, straining her ears picks up a murmur of conversation from the hallway just outside her door. Two deep voices, speaking too softly for Ellie to pick out any words at all, but she still knows the tenor and rumble of them better than any other sound in the world.Knowing Joel and Tommy are right outside her door - that Joel will be back any minute - relaxes her enough to send her right back to sleep.–-It’s dark out the next time Ellie rouses, the only light coming from a crack in the bathroom door. She’s still curled up in a small ball under her blankets, everything warm and hazy. Her feet are pulsing a bit uncomfortably in their bandages; the space behind her right ear stings. None of it is as horrendously uncomfortable as the preceding hours had been.Ellie strains her eyes in the darkness to where Joel’s bed is, expecting to find him snoring with his leg propped up. But he’s not - he’s sitting in the chair next to her bed, head turned to look out the window. It’s gotta be well after midnight, if the inky blackness of the sky is any indicator, but he seems wide awake. His chin is cupped in one hand, the fingertips of the other drumming absently on the arm of the chair, completely lost in thought and not realizing she’s awake.“Joel?”He startles, a hiss escaping his lips when it jostles his leg. “Sorry,” Ellie adds apologetically, wincing. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”Joel readjusts, leans forward to tuck the blanket more carefully around her. His hand lingers on her forearm, thumb tracing back and forth. “‘S alright. You feelin’ okay?”“Yeah.” She wiggles carefully closer to the edge of the bed, rewarded by a soft smile and his hand shifting to land gently on the top of her head. “Why aren’t you asleep?”“Brain won’t let me,” Joel tells her, dull nails scraping carefully along her scalp. “Every time I tried to close my eyes and get some rest, I just kept feelin’ like I was back in the gate house waitin’ for Tommy to come back with you. Finally I just gave up and moved over here so I could see you better.”Ellie’s brow furrows, trying to ignore the way his words splinter something in her chest. “You can still see? I thought your eyes quit working like months ago.”“Little shit,” Joel replies, the first hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “My eyes work just fine.”“Okay, so it’s just the rest of you that’s the problem,” Ellie teases. It doesn’t have the intended effect - Joel doesn’t snark back something about her being young and dumb.Instead his face falls ever so slightly, hand moving from her head to her wrist to grasp it gently. His thumb feathers over her pulse, back and forth, back and forth. “Yeah.” His eyes fall to his right leg, propped carefully up on another chair with pillows for support. “Yeah, it is.”Well, shit. She had meant to distract him, not make him feel worse when she already knew his relegation to the sidelines was eating at him from the inside out. Ellie pushes herself up to sit carefully, kicking her legs free of her blankets until she’s facing him fully.“You oughta be –” Joel starts, but she cuts him off.“It’s not your fault.” The words land between them, heavy and tinged with layers upon layers of guilt and regret. Joel blinks, chin dropping and a muscle in his cheek twitching. Ellie presses on, swallowing against the dryness in her throat. “There’s nothing you could have done to prevent any of this, okay?”“Yeah, I know.” Joel doesn’t sound like he believes it in the slightest; he still won’t meet her gaze. Ellie rolls her eyes, scooting a little closer to the edge of the bed.“Joel, look at me.” She rotates her hand in his grasp, curling her own fingers around his wrist in turn and squeezing until he relents and looks up. “I’m okay . I’m a little banged up, yeah. But I’m gonna be fine. I’m okay.”He blinks, eyes oddly bright, chin jerking with an abrupt nod. A tear splashes down to the back of her hand, opalescent and followed quickly by another. His hand tightens around her wrist almost painfully, the other coming up to press over his eyes. “You’re okay,” he repeats in a strangled whisper. “You’re okay.”“I’m okay.” Ellie’ll say it as many times as necessary for it to sink in for him, even just a little. Sure, maybe she’s a little concussed and she can’t really walk on her own two feet quite yet, and she’s more tired than she can ever remember being in her life. But she is okay.Joel releases her wrist and pushes awkwardly to his feet in front of her, leaving Ellie to sit there with her arms outstretched as though she’s capable of doing anything should he start to fall. He wobbles a little but steadies himself against the bed, bending down until he can wrap his arms firmly around her, cheek pressed to the top of her hair.“I was real damn scared, kiddo.” His voice rumbles through her, the weight in his words sinking into her stomach. “Real goddamn scared when it kept gettin’ later and later and the storm was gettin’ worse and they still hadn’t found you.”Ellie presses her forehead to the join of his neck and shoulder, fingers clinging to the back of his shirt. “I’m sorry,” she whispers. “I didn’t mean to scare you. It was an accident.”“I know.” His hand smoothes over the back of her head and down to cup her neck. “I know. Just…might take me a minute to stop feelin’ a little afraid.”A fuzzy memory comes back to her, a flash of her and Tommy huddled in a building while the rain beat a staccato on the roof above them. It’s indistinct and blurry, like water trickling through her hands as she tries to hold on to it, but she remembers one thing for sure. “Tommy said you were freaking out.”His ribs expand under her arms with his inhale, and then Joel releases her and steps back just enough to peer down at her in the semi-darkness of the room. “To put it mildly, yeah.” His head tilts. “What else did he say?”Ellie tries to think, wrinkling her nose ever so slightly. “I don’t know, I really don’t remember shit. Pretty sure I told him some puns?”Joel laughs softly. “Course you did.”“I really am okay, you know?” Ellie says again, voice barely a whisper.He just sighs in response, shifting around until he can sit down on the bed next to her with a groan. One of his arms loops over her shoulders, holding her against him with his cheek on her hair. “I know you are, baby girl. I know.”They stay together like that until the first rays of sunlight begin to stretch across the ceiling.