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Yuuto fights a giggle, pushing Yamada up against the door hard to make it close on their heels with a slam. He cups Yamada’s cheeks in his hands and presses kisses to his lips, warming the cold skin. It’s finally fall outside, which means sweaters and hot coffee and this: Yuuto sliding a leg between Yamada’s thighs and feeling his hardon against his leg.“Be quiet,” Yamada says between kisses, fighting with the hem of Yuuto’s shirt until he manages to untuck it from the front of his jeans and slide his cold fingers over Yuuto’s waist. “You’re so loud.”Their lips smack together as Yuuto pulls back. They laugh. “Shut up,” Yamada demands, nudging Yuuto forward and out of the genkan. “You’ll wake my children.”Yuuto snorts, knowing he means his fourteen—fifteen? He’s honestly lost count—geckos. Instead, Yuuto pulls Yamada’s sweater over his head, intentionally leaving his hair fluffed up. Yamada doesn’t need to know how cute he looks right now. It’s all for Yuuto.“Your children are nocturnal,” he replies with logic, just to make Yamada roll his eyes and shove him towards the bedroom. Yuuto goes with a manic grin, stripping his shirt and leaving it in the hallway.Yamada follows on his heels, tackling him to the bed and making half the pillows bounce to the floor. Yuuto giggles, twining his fingers through Yamada’s hair and kissing him fiercely. Yuuto always feels like he’s starving for Yamada’s kisses, Yamada’s fingers against his scalp, his strong body against his. He preserves each taste and sensation as though it could be the last time he gets to feel it. They aren’t like Yamada and Chinen are. They’ve always been hot and cold with one another, prone to fighting when they were younger. Despite the years since that time, Yuuto can’t help but wonder how long Yamada will keep humoring his whims.They help one another shed clothes, and before long they’re skin against skin and lips to lips. Wandering fingers grope Yuuto’s ass, making him moan into Yamada’s hot mouth.“That’s it.” Yamada laughs, low in his throat. A hand palms Yuuto’s dick and his hips nearly snap them off the bed.“Ryosuke,” Yuuto groans, sliding his hands over Yamada’s hips and down to his ass, sliding over his thighs. “How far do you want to go tonight?” Yuuto asks, because he has to know.Yamada stops kissing him to pull back, looking at him with those disarming eyes that are wide with disbelief. “Seriously, Yutti?” Yamada squeezes Yuuto’s ass again as if to prove a point. “Do you have to ask?”Yuuto licks his lips, kissing him again to hide the way his heart is beating in his chest. “I just want to make sure,” Yuuto says with a kiss to the join of his neck and jawline.“How far do you want to go?” Yamada asks in return, though it comes out a bit breathless.“I want to show you how much I love you,” Yuuto says against his skin, and it tastes like a confession. Yamada’s breath hitches. They don’t say things like this—not to each other. They dance a line between together and heartbreak. There’s no room for words of devotion or love.After a moment of stillness, Yamada loops his arms around Yuuto’s shoulders and smiles breathlessly down at him. “Really?” Yamada asks, quirking an eyebrow. “You sure?”“Yeah,” Yuuto says, and spins them so that Yamada lands on his back on the mattress. Yamada’s hair fluffs around his eyes, and Yuuto pushes it to the side. Yamada’s skin is already glistening with sweat in the light, and he almost hurts to look at. He doesn’t say it back, but Yuuto doesn’t expect it.“I don’t believe you,” Yamada says, raising his chin haughtily. “Show me.”Yuuto does his best, pulling back and reaching for the lube in the drawer. They’ve done this enough that they have no need for condoms, and that should mean something, but Yuuto knows it doesn’t. He’s an easy fuck because he’s present, and attentive, and everything Yamada needs in a bed partner. Yuuto makes it easy for Yamada because they don’t need a relationship—they’re already group members and that’s close enough for both of them. It doesn’t matter that Yuuto’s heart longs for more.Yuuto warms lube between his hands as Yamada rolls over onto his stomach, settling on his knees and pushing back against Yuuto’s chest. Yuuto hooks his chin over Yamada’s shoulder and nuzzles his hair, pressing a kiss to the shell of his ear. “I’m going to make you come first,” Yuuto says.Yamada shivers from the words, turning his head to shoot Yuuto a challenging gaze. “You can try.”With a laugh, Yuuto gets to work, pressing his hand against the crest of Yamada’s ass with one hand and sliding his other down Yamada’s abs in front, slipping downwards until he’s palming his dick. He slides a finger inside him and gently takes him apart. He waits until he has Yamada gasping to get a hand around his dick, jerking him off in the funnel of his hand.Yamada reaches back and grips a fistful of Yuuto’s hair, pulling when Yuuto scissors inside him. “Fuck you,” Yamada gasps, when Yuuto twists his wrist and makes Yamada’s hips snap up against his hand. He’s panting before long, breath coming in ragged gasps.“You’re gonna come,” Yuuto says, feeling the way Yamada squeezes around his fingers.“Shut up,” Yamada replies, just as Yuuto flicks his thumb over the head of Yamada’s dick and smears precome. Yamada moans loudly as he comes, and Yuuto grins against his hair as he holds his shaking body while it falls apart.“Shh, you’re so loud, Yama-chan,” Yuuto whispers. “You’ll wake your children.”“Oh, fuck you.” Yamada shoves at him playfully, body sinking against the mattress bonelessly. “Will you fuck me already?”Yuuto grins. He knows that despite Yamada’s protests, he loves the feeling of being fucked through his own aftershocks. Yuuto knows him so well, knows just where to press to get him off the fastest, knows just how to thrust to give him the most pleasure. He’s spent his life making a study of Yamada, of his glorious thighs and his whims. Of learning just how to make him laugh and how to get him off.Yamada’s body is loose and hot when Yuuto pushes into him, gripping his shoulders for leverage. “That’s it,” Yamada gasps, throwing his head back until it’s pressing against Yuuto’s shoulder. “Yutti, move.”All Yuuto can do is follow his commands, thrusting into him deep and recklessly, pounding into him hard just how he knows he likes it. The bed barely moves with his thrusts only because Yamada bought the best type of bed frame. They don’t have to worry about neighbors here, not like they would have to at Yuuto’s house, and that makes him all the more reckless, pushing the limits as he pounds into Yamada again and again.“I won’t last,” Yuuto murmurs into Yamada’s hair, getting a grip on his hair and pulling. Yamada whines, and his body pulses around Yuuto’s dick. He soaks up the knowledge that he can make Yamada fall apart like this, make him groan and swear and sweat until all either of them know is the slap of skin on skin, of labored breaths, of hot skin.When Yuuto comes he buries his face into the curve of Yamada’s shoulder and thrusts deep, coming against his prostate. He feels how alive he is around him, and the rush of adrenaline has spots forming in Yuuto’s vision.When Yuuto pulls out, they fall side by side facing each other like opposing parenthesis, and Yuuto runs his fingers through Yamada’s hair.“Believe me yet?” Yuuto asks, memorizing the lines of Yamada’s face.“Not at all,” Yamada says, eyes sparkling in the light. “You better show me again.”—“Something’s going on with you and Ryosuke,” Chinen says plainly, at Yuuto’s elbow as they wrap up practice.Yuuto blinks down at him. “What makes you think that?” Yuuto asks, pulling his sweater on over his sweaty tshirt.“Because I know you both,” Chinen says with a roll of his eyes. “And I’ve caught you both exchanging glances in the mirror like four times this practice.”“He’s the ace,” Yuuto points out. “I’m supposed to follow his lead.”Chinen scoffs. “Yeah, sure, let’s go with that.” He digs an elbow into Yuuto’s side, and Yuuto winces. Chinen’s elbows are weapons when he wants them to be. “Don’t you dare break his heart.”“Impossible,” Yuuto says. “He doesn’t love me.”With another roll of his eyes, Chinen throws his hands up and takes his leave on Takaki’s heels, undoubtedly tired of their antics. Yuuto wonders at his words, because clearly Chinen and Yamada are in love with each other, and Yuuto’s always the odd one out.“You’re zoning,” Inoo says, sidling up and poking Yuuto in the cheek.Yuuto laughs, shaking his head and pulling his gaze away from Yamada and Daiki. “I’m not.”“Oh babe,” Inoo sighs. “You’ve got it bad.”“I don’t know what you mean,” Yuuto lies plainly, but then he giggles. “Is it that obvious?” Yuuto lowers his voice and whispers.“So obvious,” Inoo says back at normal volume, and Yuuto’s shoulders rise above his ears.“Inoo-chan, discretion is not your strong suit, is it?”“Why would I be discreet?” Inoo asks, tilting his head. “It goes against my best interests.”“Of what, chaos?”Inoo smiles charmingly, and Yuuto’s heart skips a beat from fear. “Don’t do anything I would do,” Inoo sings, patting Yuuto on the cheek and swanning out of the practice room.Yuuto frowns after him, then shoulders his bag. On his way out of the room, he lingers behind Yamada, trying to come up with something to say.It turns out he didn’t need to. Daiki turns to him with his beaming smile and pats Yuuto on the arm. “You two going out tonight?” he asks. “Have fun! Be safe!”“We weren’t—” Yuuto starts, but Yamada just laughs.“Sure we are,” Yamada says. “My treat.”Hikaru wolf whistles from where he’s changing shoes on the floor, and Yabu swats him.Yamada waits until they’re seated at a restaurant and have gotten drinks before he looks Yuuto in the eyes. “So, what’s going on?”“I don’t know what you mean,” Yuuto says, swirling his highball so that the ice clacks together. “Nothing’s different.”“Maybe not, but you’ve been different,” Yamada says, sighing. “Do you want to stop messing around?”Yuuto’s breath catches in his throat. “No, of course not,” he says hurriedly, after a moment. Yamada gives him an appraising look. Yuuto sighs. “I don’t want to stop, I want more than what you’re willing to give.”“Yutti...” Yamada starts, but Yuuto puts a hand up.“Let’s just enjoy dinner before you break my heart, okay?” he says, reaching for the menu. Yamada clasps his wrist with his hand instead, squeezing it briefly before he pulls back.“I don’t want to stop either,” Yamada says. “And I don’t want to break your heart.”“But you don’t love me?” Yuuto replies, rubbing his wrist where the warmth of Yamada’s touch is soaking into his skin. “I get it, Ryosuke, and I’m not upset.”“Maybe I’ve just been so afraid you’d break my heart that I’ve been keeping myself at a distance,” Yamada says, so softly that for a moment Yuuto thinks he’s misheard.“And how is that working for you?” Yuuto asks, after a breathless pause.“It sucks,” Yamada says, shoulders hunching. “You’ve already trusted me with your heart, I don’t know why I can’t.”“It’s okay if you can’t,” Yuuto says softly. “I’m not going anywhere.”“Maybe we should start from the beginning, take it slow?” Yamada asks, glancing up at Yuuto’s eyes before he looks away again. “I want to try to love you.”Yuuto feels his heart grow in his chest. “I can’t say no.”“Okay,” Yamada says with a beautiful smile. He reaches for a menu. “What do you want to eat?”“Whatever you recommend,” Yuuto replies, a giggle trapping itself in his throat. “I’ve never been here before.”“That’s cheating.”“It’s romantic,” Yuuto objects, and kicks his feet against Yamada’s under the table. He grins when Yamada gives him a cross look when he keeps bouncing his leg. “No?”Yamada hooks his foot behind Yuuto’s ankle and pulls it. “Let’s eat.”—They go on a few dinner dates that end with Yuuto feeling warm and fuzzy but also sexually frustrated because he goes no further than the door of Yamada’s home. Dating is hard enough in the idol world, and it’s not like they can go to the typical dating locations without getting Friday’d. They run that risk whenever they step out of their homes. Yuuto’s not used to being out this much, and is starting to feel the strain of the attempts. He’s used to his routine, and dating is very much not in that picture anymore.“I want to take you shopping,” Yamada says on the phone one night. “You wear the same five shirts every time I see you and it’s driving me a little crazy.”“You don’t like my shirts?” Yuuto asks, with faux hurt. He can practically feel Yamada roll his eyes from the other end of the line.“I just want to get you something nice,” Yamada says. “Would you let me take you shopping?”Yuuto swipes up the mess he’d made from the orange he’s been peeling and dumps it in the trash, wiping his hand on his laze around shirt before he realizes what he’s doing. He makes a face. “I guess it would be a nice change of pace,” Yuuto replies.“Yes, great, I’ll pencil it into our shared calendars.”The next time Yuuto checks his calendar he sees a date scheduled after his Men’s Non-no shoot on Thursday, and quickly makes plans with his manager to drive himself to work. Yamada never brings his own car to work anymore, despite getting a new one, but Yuuto doesn’t mind driving him around. It gives him the chance to show off a little.Thursday comes quickly, and when Yuuto picks Yamada up he finds him wearing a baseball cap and a baggy coat. He has a mask on over his face, but nothing covers up his beautiful eyes. “We’re going to get Friday’d so hard,” Yuuto comments.Yamada pulls his mask off to show off his frown. “What do you mean?” he asks. “This is foolproof.”“If you say so, but I’ll believe it when I see it.”Yuuto pulls them onto the street and takes them to the shopping center that Yamada picked out, pulling into the closest parking lot that still has parking. He backs in smoothly, then pays for their ticket. They can’t hold hands on the way there but the streets are busy enough that no one really pays them any mind. It’s cold enough that Yamada doesn’t even stand out.Yamada takes great joy in shopping for Yuuto, picking out shirts that compliment his frame. He even finds a few pairs of trousers that don’t show ankle, which is enough of a shock that Yuuto buys them on the spot. Yamada makes him pose in the store for each item, circling him and looking him over with a serious, critical eye. A nice fleece jacket and five new shirts later, Yuuto’s head is spinning from all the shopping.When they finish, Yuuto takes the bags back to the car and then they catch a quick lunch at a Chinese place before Yamada has to get back to work. “Thank you for today,” Yuuto says between bites of gyoza.“It’s my pleasure,” Yamada says, eyes sparkling. Without his jacket on he looks fantastic in his white shirt and wide-legged pants. His jewelry sparkles in the light, almost as much as his eyes do. “I think you’ve had the shirt you wore yesterday for five years.”“What’s wrong with that?” Yuuto asks, pouting.Yamada laughs, shaking his head. “You’re kind of hopeless for a model, aren’t you?”“Take that back,” Yuuto gasps. “I’m perfectly capable of dressing myself.”Yamada’s smile is warm. “I know, Yutti. But it brings me joy to dress you up.”Yuuto laughs. “That’s just dirty. You hang out with Chinen too much.”“What’s that supposed to mean?” Yamada asks, but he’s laughing again. Yuuto wants to hear that sound for the rest of his life. His heart aches with the need to pull him close and give him a kiss, but they’re in public: no kisses, no hand holding, no anything.Yuuto follows Yamada up when they get back to Yamada’s place, waiting in the genkan and watching as Yamada slides off his shoes. He waits until Yamada steps up into the room and turns back to Yuuto with a quirked eyebrow. Yuuto leans forward, cupping his face in his hands.“Can I kiss you?” Yuuto asks, gently stroking along Yamada’s cheekbones with his thumbs. His face is cold under his touch.“You don’t have to ask,” Yamada replies, leaning forward and touching their lips together.Yuuto’s taller than him even on the platform, so he has to tilt his head up a little. Yuuto’s fingers slip through Yamada’s hair, curling along the back of his head and slipping down his neck to hold onto his shoulders. They trade warm, sweet kisses that make Yuuto go warm all over, as though Yamada’s a fire and taking the chill of fall away with each press of his lips.After a few minutes, Yuuto pulls back, opening his eyes in time to see Yamada’s eyes blinking open. “I’ve gotta go,” Yuuto says softly. “I’ll see you later?”Yamada doesn’t say anything, just blinks at him with his wide eyes and his cheeks flushed as Yuuto slips out the door and into the hallway. Once there, he lets out a breath, allowing himself a moment to revel in the overwhelming sensation of being under the lens of Yamada Ryosuke’s focus.—Yamada’s acting weird.Ever since the start of their tour, Yuuto’s gotten the feeling that Yamada’s avoiding him. Not only has he been curled up in a chair with Chinen for half the morning, he’s also been on his way out of every room Yuuto entered. Yuuto thinks nothing of it at first, but then Yuuto enters the backstage room while Daiki and Yamada are playing Mario Kart and Yamada glances up, sees him, and promptly dies.“Damn it, Yutti,” Yamada growls, flailing a little to try and catch up the lead.After he loses the tournament, Yamada flees the room without a backwards glance, and Yuuto looks after him with a hurt face. “What did I do?” Yuuto asks the room at large, looking down at Daiki as though he holds all the answers in the universe.Daiki just shrugs, shoving the spare switch into Hikaru’s lap. Hikaru looks up at Yuuto and cracks a smile. “He’ll tell you when he’s ready,” he says cryptically, which is no help at all.They have Super Delicate on the set list this year, and rehearsals for it go well until it doesn’t, when Yuuto leans forward for their usual fanservice and Yamada’s eyes widen. He shoves a hand in his face, pushing him away so hard his nose feels sore for the rest of the day.The concert is a little better, but Yuuto doesn’t make the mistake to lean in, letting Yamada lead the fanservice this time, squishing his cheeks into fish lips. He cracks a beaming smile that has fans screaming and Yuuto squealing internally. He’ll take whatever he can get, whether it’s a helping hand onto the carts or tossing confetti over Yamada in passing.Post-concerts are normally a time where all the members get together, not wanting the feelings of being on stage to end. The performance high sends Yuuto still soaring when he enters Takaki and Inoo’s room for their usual after-concert drinking party. Inoo technically has his own room somewhere, but all of his stuff is here and Takaki’s eyes have been following him around the room with enough heat that Yuuto doesn’t have to ask why. Someone brought enough soju to set them all back a few hours in the morning, but Yuuto decides not to think about tomorrow.Instead, he sinks onto the suite couch beside Yabu, who throws an arm around him where he’s watching a soccer game on low. Inoo sashays around the room, handing out plastic cups of soju to everyone, and before long Yuuto finds one in his hands too. Yamada and Chinen are curled up on one of the beds, Takaki has taken up residence on one of the desk chairs where he and Inoo have been drinking privately, and Hikaru and Daiki are playing games in the corner of the floor. It seems no one wanted to be alone after the concert today, which just makes Yuuto sag with relief.He’d been so afraid he wouldn’t see Yamada at all since he’d been acting so weird today that he’s almost surprised that he bothered to come out. It makes him happy to see him giggling into Chinen’s ear, and if he feels jealous—well. There’s nothing to feel jealous about. He squashes the feeling down. Yamada and Chinen’s relationship transcends all barriers and always has, Yuuto has long made his peace with that. He might not be able to get Yamada to love him the way he loves Yamada, but that doesn’t stop him from loving him anyway.“You’re quiet,” Yabu says into his ear. Yuuto blinks out of his thoughts, glancing Yabu’s direction.“Just thinking,” Yuuto replies, curling his legs up and taking a sip of his soju. It goes down smooth, the yogurt flavoring sweet on this tongue.“Don’t hurt yourself.” Yabu laughs when Yuuto pokes his side, his eyes forming into familiar crescents. “What’s on your mind, Yutti?”Yuuto sighs, because of course Yabu wouldn’t let the subject drop. “Just stuff.”“Stuff stuff, or other stuff?” Yabu asks, jerking his head over Yuuto’s shoulder and towards Yamada, where he’s already giggling from alcohol. Yuuto smiles at the scene: Yamada’s lack of alcohol tolerance is so endearing.“Okay, you caught me. It’s stuff.”Yabu squeezes his shoulders, giving him a little shake. “What about it?”“I just don’t know what to do,” Yuuto sighs, with another tiny sip of soju. “I think I pushed too hard again, and now I’m being avoided.”“Are you sure that’s why?” Yabu asks without looking away from the game on the TV. “Sometimes people need time to work things out.”“I know that,” Yuuto says, scuffing the floor with his heel. “I’ve been giving him time.”“Try to be patient,” Yabu advises. “Yamada’s skittish about things like this.”Yuuto doesn’t even have to ask about how Yabu knows where they are right now: they haven’t exactly been discreet around the members, plopping dates on the group calendar and making plans in front of them. Still, it feels weird to talk about it out loud, especially since nothing is coming of it. Yuuto knows that all he can do is be patient, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t hard.After a while, and a few drinks, the room becomes stifling hot. Yuuto finds himself on the balcony, looking up at the city lights. He left the door cracked a little to let the warm air out, but he’s still surprised when the person who joins him is Yamada himself, tripping over the threshold of the balcony and coming to rest beside Yuuto with a giggle.“There you are,” Yamada says, sidling close. He’s completely drunk, pulling Yuuto’s arm away from his body to curl against his side, snuggling in close. Yuuto drapes his arm around Yamada’s shoulders, hugging him loosely.“Were you looking for me?” Yuuto asks, trying not to get his hopes up.“Always,” Yamada says, letting his head drop against Yuuto’s side. “I’m always looking for you.”Yuuto sucks in a surprised breath. Yamada’s way too drunk if he’s talking like this. He’s the most affectionate drunk he knows. “Ryosuke, I think it’s time for you to go to bed.”“I don’t want to go to bed alone,” Yamada pouts pointedly, squeezing Yuuto’s waist. “Come with me?”Yuuto shakes his head. “Maybe some other night.”“I just want to sleep,” Yamada whines. “I miss you. We haven’t slept together in months.”“There’s a reason for that,” Yuuto points out. “I don’t want to hurt your heart.”“I’m the one who should be saying that,” Yamada says crossly. He lifts his head to look up at Yuuto, his beautiful eyes reflecting the lights of the city. “I won’t do anything but sleep. I promise.”“You’re drunk,” Yuuto says faintly. Yamada makes a noise of frustration.“So?” he asks, pulling out from under Yuuto’s arm and tugging him in the direction of the door. “I always sleep better when you’re around.”Yuuto doesn’t know what to make of it, but he feels himself give into Yamada’s hopeful stare. He allows Yamada to tug him back into the room to say goodnight to the members, then he pulls him down the hallway by their joined hands, and Yuuto’s glad they don’t meet anyone on the way to the room.Yamada waits until the door closes on their heels before he turns around and steps into Yuuto’s space looping his arms around Yuuto’s neck and pressing chest to chest. Yuuto finds himself getting lost in those eyes helplessly. “Kiss me good night,” Yamada demands, cupping Yuuto’s face with his chilled hands.“Just one,” Yuuto replies, and leans down to press their mouths together chastely. Yamada’s mouth is pliant under his lips, warm and soft. Yuuto sinks into it, unable to help himself, and for a few moments all they do is exchange chaste kisses. Once Yuuto starts to feel the warmth of them slide down his spine, he breaks off and pulls out of Yamada’s reach. Yamada leans forward on his tiptoes to kiss him again, and manages to bump their noses instead.“That’s enough,” Yuuto says, stepping out of Yamada’s range. Yamada’s pout is devastating. “Let’s just sleep.”They curl up in bed together, Yuuto wrapped around Yamada from behind and wrapping his arms around him. Yamada’s hair is soft. Yuuto kisses the top of his head and lets himself revel in the sensation of having Yamada in his arms again. In the morning, he’ll deal with the fallout of a likely very confused Yamada, but for now he’ll take this.Morning comes too fast, and it takes Yuuto a few moments to figure out what woke him. Then Yamada twists in his arms and he realizes that he’s awake too. Afraid to open his eyes, he strokes down Yamada’s side soothingly. “It’s okay, we didn’t do anything.”“I know,” Yamada’s voice is low and crackly with sleep. “I remember everything.”Part of Yuuto is relieved. He wasn’t sure how drunk Yamada had gotten but he was certain that there’d be some spotty memories in the morning. He hugs him closer tentatively, and Yamada allows it, tucking his head beneath Yuuto’s chin.They lie like that for a moment, until Yamada lifts his head and presses a kiss to the hollow of Yuuto’s throat.Yuuto blinks his eyes open, the world tilting from darkness to a quiet hotel room with the curtains cracked a little in the middle. They hadn’t bothered fixing them last night, and now a stripe of light shines over Yamada’s face. No wonder he woke up.“How do you feel?” Yuuto asks, surveying him for any sign of pain.“Like my head got run over.” Yamada sighs, then gently lifts himself up onto his elbows. His sleep shirt had come a little unbuttoned in the night, and now it falls over one shoulder. “Yuuto...” he begins, licking his lips. “I want to tell you something, but I’ve been waiting for the right time.”Yuuto’s breath catches. “You don’t have to tell me,” he says. “I know you still don’t love me. You don’t have to tell me.”“What, Yuuto, no.” Yamada swallows. “I want to tell you that I do love you. I just didn’t know how to tell how sure I was until I had you to myself.”“You’ve been avoiding me,” Yuuto points out accusingly. “Don’t toy with me.”“I’m not trying to toy with you,” Yamada looks up towards the ceiling as though searching for help, and when his gaze flicks back down, he smiles. “I wanted to be sure so I didn’t hurt you on accident. It looks like I did that anyway.”Yuuto’s heart leaps to his throat. “I’m not sure if I believe you.”“I love you,” Yamada says, with so much sincerity that it takes Yuuto’s breath away. “I love you even with morning breath and your hair all messed up and your face creased by the pillow.”Yuuto can’t help the laugh that bubbles up, raising his eyebrows. “That’s a weird confession.”“You’re weird, so it works,” Yamada replies. His smile is so breathtaking that Yuuto wishes he had his camera handy.“Will you prove it?” Yuuto asks. “Will you kiss me?”“I’ll do a lot more than that,” Yamada says, and leans forward to press their mouths together. Yamada pushes Yuuto onto his back and kisses his way down his neck, pressing lips to his jugular. His thighs squeeze around Yuuto’s waist he fights with Yuuto’s shirt for a moment before he sits back on his haunches and peels it up and over his head, ruffling Yuuto’s hair with a laugh.Then he’s back at it, kissing his way down Yuuto’s chest and abs, over his stomach and to the waistband of his sleep pants, which Yamada drags down his legs until Yuuto’s legs are trapped in them.“Ryosuke—” Yuuto’s voice dies in his throat when Yamada takes his already hardening dick into his mouth, sucking him to hardness so fast that spots form in Yuuto’s vision. Grabbing for Yamada’s shoulders and missing, he fists one hand in Yamada’s hair instead, making him moan around his dick. “Fuck.”Yuuto writhes under Yamada’s mouth, and Yamada has to hold his hips down with strong arms as he sucks him off, bobbing his head in time to some inner beat. Yuuto’s body can only follow along, the drummer in him finding the rhythm between their motions. When he tugs at Yamada’s hair, he gets a gasp against his dick. When he thrusts his hips, he gets hands tightening on his waist while Yamada sucks.Their synchronization starts to fall apart as Yamada’s tongue twirls around the head of Yuuto’s dick and Yuuto thrusts up so mindlessly that the head of his dick hits the back of Yamada’s throat. Yamada pulls back with a cough, laughing a little. “You’ve done this before, right?” Yuuto asks, just to be a little shit.Yamada shoves his hips down and takes him back into his mouth like it’s a challenge, taking him as deep as he can, until his throat is fluttering around the head of his dick and all Yuuto can do is tug on his hair and hang on. Yamada moans around him and when Yuuto looks down he can see why: Yamada’s got a hand in his pants and he’s pulling himself off with frantic motions, as though he couldn’t wait for Yuuto to get his hands on him.“Wait,” Yuuto instructs, and Yamada whines. “Let me finish first.”“Fuck off,” Yamada pants. “Hurry up, then.”“Are you always like this to the people you love?” Yuuto asks, but the question turns into a sharp whine when Yamada licks a stripe from his balls up the bottom of his shaft. “Fuck, Ryosuke—”“Come for me,” Yamada demands, a finger finding and poking just barely into the rim of his ass. Yuuto thrusts up into Yamada and comes with a loud moan, the sensation snapping through his entire body and sending a rush of warmth through him. Yamada yelps, body jerking back, and it takes Yuuto a moment to see why, but when he does, he laughs.Yamada’s sitting on his knees with a stripe of come on his face, dripping off his chin and over his mouth. “You told me to come,” Yuuto replies, cheekily.Yamada opens his mouth to reply, then laughs, reaching for a tissue to wipe his face off. “Are you going to lend me a hand?” he asks, palming himself through his pajamas. Sweat is glistening on his face and making his hair stick to his face.“Come here,” Yuuto says, kicking off his pants and losing them over the edge of the bed. He pulls Yamada’s shirt over his head and cups his face in his hands, giving him a lingering kiss that tastes like himself. He kisses his way down his throat, pressing teasing touches to his chest and flicking his nipples with his thumbs.“Tease,” Yamada whines, writhing in his pants. Yuuto pulls him over his leg, and Yamada grinds against his thigh and moans, mindless from the pleasure. Yuuto kisses him again, and a hand finds his dick through his pants, squeezing him until his hips jet forward into his palm.“You’re so hard,” Yuuto says with wonder. “You could get yourself off like this, couldn’t you?”“Don’t you dare make me find out,” Yamada replies, swallowing hard. Despite his words, his hips snap forward again, and Yuuto’s not sure he imagines the warmth spreading against his palm.“Okay, okay,” Yuuto says, cupping Yamada’s head with one hand and pulling him against his shoulder, sliding fingers through his sweaty hair. His other hand slips into his pants and gets a good grip on his dick, teasing the head with his thumb. He peppers kisses to the back of his shoulder and his neck, and pulls Yamada off with steady strokes.“It’s hot,” Yamada groans, wiggling in his pants. He shoves them down his thighs and kicks them off, and when Yuuto looks down he sees Yamada, fully erect and leaking freely into his palm. He fondles his balls and jerks him off until Yamada’s thrusting against him and smothering his whines into the crook of Yuuto’s neck and shoulder.When he comes, he thrusts against him like a shot, grinding down hard and moaning loudly against his ear. When he’s done and still trembling, Yuuto gently places him against the pillows and kisses him warmly. He gets up to get a washcloth and wash his hands, then he wipes Yamada down with a cool cloth and exchanges the cold for kisses to make him shudder.“Yuuto,” Yamada begins, once Yuuto has tucked himself back into bed and is spooning Yamada from behind.“Mm?” Yuuto asks, pressing a kiss to the back of his neck.“Don’t break my heart, okay?” he asks, voice low and unsure.Yuuto huffs out a laugh, cupping Yamada’s head with a hand to pull him towards him. “Never.”