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“Stop calling me that.”“What? The baby of the group?”If looks could kill, Asahi would be the bare remnants of a corpse, on his way to dusty bones. Nothing gets to Ikuya faster than being called the baby. Even if he is. If it were only Asahi taking the lead by eleven months, he might be less sore about it. But being younger than Rin? By a month? Now that is unbearable. Age is the one race he can never win against his greatest rival, and that drives him fucking nuts.Yet here he is, young and dumb and full - no. But Ikuya is the baby, and would rather die than acknowledge it.So naturally, Asahi will not let him forget it.“I’m serious,” Ikuya says, scowling so hard he’s in danger of getting stuck that way. “It’s not funny.”“Everyone else calls you that,” Asahi argues. “Why not me?”Asahi can tell he’s doing his best not to stomp his foot. Like a baby. “Because you do it all the time!”Their voices are drowned out by the din of the izakaya and good-natured, razor-sharp barbs of their friends. They’re there in the first place because Kisumi had demanded a big birthday dinner, even though he’d forced them into the party of the century only last week.Ikuya must still be smarting from the indignity of being the only guest too young to drink. Not that he’d let it stop him while they were at Kisumi’s place, but his night of illegal imbibing came to an abrupt stop when his brother bullied everyone into going clubbing. All Asahi wanted to do was stay behind with Ikuya. Everything is more fun with Ikuya. All he ever wants is to spend every second he can with the guy he’d give up swimming for. Even sitting around tossing M&M’s into each other’s mouths and trying not to choke would be peak romance.But Natsuya and Kisumi insisted so hard, he began to fear physical violence. So off he went, leaving an aggrieved Ikuya to go home with Nao. No one forces Nao into anything. Especially not Natsuya.“Sorry. Next round’s on me.” Ikuya gears up to kill him. “Ah, wait, sorry. No can do. Forgot you’re the baby of the - ”“You are dead to me!”This time, Ikuya does stomp his foot. Right on Asahi’s.“Okay, I deserved that. Two Cokes,” he croaks at the passing waiter.Ikuya smiles, and Asahi ascends.Aquariums are cool.Aquariums are awesome, actually. Fish are awesome. Penguins are awesome. Tunnels are awesome. Well, tunnels are fine. This tunnel is awesome.Why is this tunnel awesome, you ask?This tunnel is see-through, allowing the spectators to ooh and aah as rays and schools of fish fly around them, making Asahi feel like the exhibit, on display for the fish. Not much of a view, but people have always liked him for his personality.This tunnel is also awesome because the lights are low. Low enough to stare at Ikuya’s ass in those jeans without shame, a top-secret mission everywhere else. No one has ever caught him doing it. Besides everyone. No amount of embarrassment, however, can keep him from his god-given right to admire perfection. Not even Toono, who he’s actually less careful around. Ruining Toono’s day is a distant second to checking out Ikuya’s backside, but what a glorious second it is.“Check out that one,” someone whispers in his ear. Asahi just manages not to scream. The owner of the ass of his dreams has appeared beside him, respecting the quiet of the space. “It looks like you.”Still shaken, Asahi follows Ikuya’s gaze toward an orange fish with giant bug eyes protruding from its tiny head.“Beauty’s in the eye of the beholder,” he whispers back, very okay with Ikuya’s hair tickling his cheek. “You can’t keep your eyes off my twin. Oh look, I found yours.” He points at a small, shimmering fish friend right above their heads. “The rest of them are so much bigger. You think he’s the baby of the group?”Silence. Ikuya turns toward him, glowering with a face carved by angels suffering from frequent mood swings.“You’re going to pay for that,” he says in a calm, menacing voice. “Come on.”He grabs Asahi’s wrist, pulling so hard Asahi almost falls over in his rush to keep up. “Where are we going?” Is his punishment an immaculate, close-up view of that ass?Ikuya drags him out of the tunnel into the next room, leaving their friends to stop Haru from killing Kisumi in the dark. They’ll also need to keep Haru from joining the fish, but Asahi is too wrapped up in his own impending doom to care. A shallow, open-faced tank fills the space, teeming with starfish, little fish, bigger fish, small crabs, big crabs, and - oh. Oh.“Sit,” Ikuya orders, and Asahi obeys. “Now. I have decided the punishment shall fit the crime.”“You can’t punish me. I’m the adult - ”“Shut the fuck up,” Ikuya hisses, holding a finger to Asahi’s mouth. “Or I’ll shove one in your mouth too.”“One what?” Like he doesn’t know.Ikuya surveys the tank thoughtfully, eyes flitting from very specific creature to very specific creature. They soon alight upon a very, very specific creature, a wicked smile spreading across his face. “That one,” he says, nodding to the biggest crab Asahi has ever seen in person. Nutcracker claws go clackety-clack, like Asahi is the prey it’s been waiting for all its life. And that’s fine. Looks can be deceiving. Maybe it’s a nice crab. A gentle giant.“Well? Don’t keep it waiting.”His hand shakes as he plunges it into the tank with his eyes closed, resigned to dying mere seconds from now. He doesn’t miss - and how could he, when his punishment is roughly the size of the tank? Pulling it from the depths is traumatic. It struggles and clackety-clacks its gigantic claws, intent on finding its captor and ending their meager little life. He can hear Ikuya’s smile.“Can I put it back now?” he pleads.Ikuya laughs, delighted. “No way. Look her in the eye and tell her how beautiful she is.”The things he does for this asshole disguised as an angel. He opens his eyes and is greeted by the beady eyes and impressive claws of the crustacean that has marked him as its enemy. “Uh,” he gulps. “Hi.” Nothing. “Okay. You’re the strong, silent type. That’s cool.”“Well?”“Right.” Locking eyes with the crab, he says, “Listen. I know you’re out of my league. I know you barely know me. And you shoved me in my locker last week. But none of that matters.” Ikuya is laughing. The crab is unimpressed. “Because…ugh, I’m just going to say it. Will you…will you go to prom with me?”The crab’s answer is swift and decisive. One mammoth claw clamps down on Asahi’s thumb - and really, it’s not all that bad. But the screech he lets out before dumping the most beautiful crab in school back in the tank can be heard throughout the aquarium.Ikuya is laughing so hard he has tears in his eyes, applauding Asahi’s efforts. “Well done. You took her rejection surprisingly well. Here,” he says, picking up the smallest hermit crab in the tank. “You’ve earned this.”The very last thing Asahi wants to do is touch another crab. But he does want to make a little hand bed with Ikuya, so tiny crab it is. Ikuya rests his upturned hands on Asahi’s, allowing the crab to scuttle aimlessly about. It’s cute. Like Ikuya. It wouldn’t look as good in jeans, but it has its charms.“They change shells as they get older,” Ikuya explains. “Until they’re full sized.”“Aw. So this one is the baby of the - get it off my head!”Sometimes Ikuya surprises Asahi after practice, idling outside Hidaka until he emerges. Asahi doesn’t know why he does it, but he sure is flattered. Ikuya spends most of his time with Toono, which - in a deeply rancid way - makes sense. They’ve known each other longer than Asahi ever did. That doesn’t make Asahi jealous at all. He doesn’t fiercely believe their one middle school year together was so magical it made them soulmates, because he’s not a child. If anything, he’s the most adult-y of adults.Well how about this, Toono: maybe Ikuya likes spending time with him one-on-one. Maybe he likes it as much as Asahi, who fucking loves it. Who’s the child now?Toono aside - forever, in a perfect world - those infrequent days are his favorite. As much as he loves checking Ikuya out in the company of others, being unable to check him out because they’re alone trumps all.Today is one of those favorite days. Ikuya jumps out at him from behind a tree with a “Boo!” that doesn’t make Asahi gasp like his grandma watching her soaps.“Hey,” he says once Asahi’s recovered one of his two shreds of dignity. “You’re getting too desensitized. Should I wear a monster mask next time?”“And hide that face?” Oh my god. “You’re scary enough as it is.” Perfect save.Ikuya smirks. “My place?”Oh, if only he meant it the way Asahi wishes he did. “Sure. Kit Kats are on me.”Ikuya’s place is bigger than Asahi’s, so they almost always end up there, talking about nothing and everything as they house Kit Kat after Kit Kat. Chocolate is second only to pistachio in Ikuya’s book, making him only slightly less of a chocoholic than Asahi. On today’s docket are swimming times, the latest drama among their friends - Rin and Haru - and how many drinks it would take to kill Natsuya. Sadly for Ikuya, the limit does not exist. Asahi vetoes Toono talk, so of course Ikuya needles him by bringing him up every five minutes. He relishes Asahi’s normal attitude toward the worst person with glasses.“When do you think they’ll make up?”“I give it five days,” Asahi says, legs hanging over the back of Ikuya’s couch and head hanging over the edge. “Tops. And that would be one of their longer divorces.”Ikuya slides off the couch and looks at Asahi in amusement. “You’re going to pass out when you stand up.”“No I won’t.” Will he? “Why?”“All the blood’s going to rush from your head.”Even upside down, Ikuya looks like he stepped out of the pages of a magazine. Who gave him the right? “That’s a problem for future me,” he decides as he eats half a Kit Kat in one bite. “Adults have to make tough choices. You’ll see.”Warm amber eyes observe him. “You know, I’m worried about you,” Ikuya says, patting Asahi’s cheek. “Being an adult means making a good impression.” Asahi doesn’t openly stare as Ikuya licks his finger. “How can you do that when - ” He reaches out and brushes the corner of Asahi’s mouth with the pad of his thumb. “How can you do that with chocolate all over your face?”And Ikuya was worried he’d pass out when he stood up? If he doesn’t think about Toono right this second, something else is going to be standing up real soon. One more swipe and Ikuya withdraws his thumb, giving it another lick before grabbing a Kit Kat.“Uh. Guess I need to, uh. Step my game up.” Because Ikuya sure as fuck stepped up his…?For real, what is happening? Is Ikuya still punishing him for his transgressions? Was the crab not enough? Now he has to make Asahi need a defibrillator? Because there’s no way he means it. Checking out asses and wishing they could get it on in a domestic, god-honoring way is Asahi’s thing.“Mhm,” Ikuya agrees. “The baby of the group shouldn’t have to tell you that. What do you think about Rin’s chances in Athens if he and Haru don’t get their shit together soon?”“Huh?” Who? Who cares? “Oh, yeah.” Are they just moving on? “They’ll both bomb. They forget how to swim when they’re fighting. And I guess I’d forget how to do life if it wasn’t for the baby of the group.”“The baby of the group has a full knife drawer.”“You said it first!”And Asahi will be thinking about it all day and all night.Mostly night.“Baby privileges.”No worries. Asahi can just go home and kill himself.Natsuya should never be allowed to oversee proceedings of any kind, yet he always manages to do just that.Tonight he’s overseeing Asahi, Ikuya, Haru, and Kisumi, who volunteered his place with characteristic enthusiasm. Natsuya and Kisumi never should have met. Natsuya has peer pressured an exhausted Asahi and Ikuya into a beer each, while Kisumi is three glasses of wine deep and giggling uncontrollably at everything. Haru has a glass of water and is giving Kisumi an impressive death glare. Kisumi refuses to recognize Haru’s hatred as anything but affection.“We’re playing Never Have I Ever,” Natsuya announces after his sixth shot of tequila.“I want to go home,” Ikuya groans, curled up on the couch next to Asahi. “This has been the longest week of my life.”Yawning, Asahi says, “Same.”“Never have I ever!” Kisumi confirms. Okay. Overruled. “Never have I ever…”“At least it’ll be a short game,” Ikuya mutters. “What hasn’t he done?”Asahi’s laugh has him choking on his beer.“Never have I ever…fucked anywhere boring!”Natsuya throws a finger down. Ikuya grimaces. “This is bullshit. Just because I know doesn’t mean I want to know.”Haru’s pinky also disappears, which…makes sense. God forbid everything with him and Rin not be some kind of competition. Asahi would bet they try to up the ante every time in pursuit of owning each other. Natsuya is next, proclaiming he’s never walked in on his parents. A struggling Ikuya is blocked by Kisumi, who under no circumstances will let him leave.The one saving grace is that no one’s finger goes down. Small miracles.When Haru’s turn rolls around, he says, “Never have I ever peed in the pool.”“Really?” Natsuya says. “I was sure you did it every day.”Haru is appalled. “I would never disrespect the water like that.”Two more fingers go down, and since he can’t swim, neither are Kisumi’s. “Ew,” Ikuya says, throwing some side eye at Asahi. “Seriously?”Haru wants to ruin his life. That’s the only explanation. “You already knew that!” he complains. “I got outed in middle school, remember?” Now he’s encouraging Ikuya to remember him peeing in the pool? His life is a joke.“I peed in the pool yesterday,” Natsuya reveals, throwing his feet on the coffee table. “Best feeling ever.”Ikuya looks about ready to choke his brother to death and make a dramatic exit. But not before he’s taken his turn embarrassing someone, and Asahi is willing to bet it’ll be -“Never have I ever spilled water on my crotch so it looked like I peed my pants.”“Oh my god! You spilled it on me!” he cries, indignant at the unfairness of it all. “And when did everything become about pee?” Ikuya is all smiles, satisfied with his triumph.Asahi is far classier than anyone in the room and is saving his revenge for another round. So he throws a softball. “Never have I ever done it in the pool.” Never has he ever done a lot of shit, and he would rather die than be exposed.“How do I unsee and unhear all of this?” Ikuya moans as his brother drops yet another finger. “This is the worst.”“I might have to learn to swim just so I can - wait!” Kisumi gasps and points at Ikuya. “Ikuya! Did you just put your finger down?”…did he?…he did.Grabbing the nearest pillow and hiding his face, Ikuya mumbles, “Shutup.”Haha, but no, fucking no - what? What? Every synapse in Asahi’s brain is misfiring and pushing him toward the brink of being on life support. No, everything’s fine - no, everything is breaking down and the universe is collapsing in on itself. Black holes abound.“With who?” he blurts out, because humiliation is an off-menu special tonight.Natsuya’s cough sounds mighty like “Subtle.” Kisumi is alight with glee, looking between his two friends with the most evil smile Asahi has ever seen - and Kisumi has an extensive catalog of evil smiles. The abrupt turn tonight has taken has piqued even Haru’s interest, waiting for Ikuya to give them the goods.“No one! Just forget it!”Ikuya picks his beer up, chugs it, and gestures for his brother to get him another. Natsuya is more than happy to comply.For some fucking reason, everyone is willing to forget it. At least for now. No chance Kisumi doesn’t show up at Asahi’s apartment to recount every second and go through everyone it could possibly be. Not that it’ll make a difference, since his brain is already screaming Toono!!! from the rooftops.Another round begins and more fingers go down. Natsuya and Kisumi exhaust almost every remaining digit. Asahi’s reactions and responses are halfhearted and distracted, because how could they not be? Ikuya is in a ball by his side, silent as he works through beer number two.When it gets back to Asahi, he speaks on autopilot, declaring, “Never have I ever been the baby of the group.”Well shit, he’s really gone and stepped in it. Natsuya, Kisumi, and even Haru break into a chorus of “Ooh” while Asahi holds his breath and waits for the smackdown to end all smackdowns. But it doesn’t come. Ikuya just sighs and puts a finger down. What is this night? What dimension are they in?Since they live in the same direction, he and Ikuya are forced to walk home together once the shindig-cum-torture is over. It’s awkward. Asahi doesn’t know if it’s awkward because of him, Ikuya, or both of them. Probably because of him. He was born awkward, lives awkward, and will die awkward.They’re a block from Ikuya’s place when awkward small talk turns to awkward big talk, and boy is Asahi not ready for it.“It wasn’t Hiyori, by the way,” Ikuya says with unnerving composure considering how embarrassed he was during the game. “Since you asked. We were just classmates at Shionezaki. You wouldn’t know them.”Thank fuck. If it were Toono, he would have no choice but to find the nearest wood chipper and hop in. But it was someone and…wait. We? Them? Classmates, number unspecified? Implying Ikuya’s done it with more than one person?Oh god. Why did he let Natsuya convince him to come tonight? And why does he keep referring to sex as ‘doing it?’ Is he ten?“Cool,” he says, shoving his hands in the pocket of his sweatshirt. “Yeah, I mean…cool.” Cool? “Doesn’t make you eleven months older, but it’s cool.” Nothing about this is cool.Once again, Ikuya doesn’t come at him with violence. “One day you’ll wake up dead.”“I don’t think I’ll be waking up at all if I’m dead. And you’ll still be the baby of the group. Unless you kill everyone.”“Maybe I will.” They stop in front of Ikuya’s building, but Ikuya doesn’t move to leave. “Well?” he says, slipping into a sudden sly smile. “You going to tuck me in and read me a bedtime story?”Jesus, why does Ikuya love fucking with him so hard? He had it coming after throwing the baby of the group under the bus - but come on. This is overkill.“You still have The Little Mermaid? Or did you graduate to chapter books?”For a second, Ikuya looks like he’s swallowed something bitter. “Guess so.” Exasperated? Impatient? Before his small brain can name it, Ikuya is turning toward his building with a sigh. “Night, Asahi.”“Oh, yeah. Night.”Asahi watches him leave, unable to shake the feeling he’s done something very, very stupid.Why is adulting so hard?Toono is the worst.Not subjectively. Objectively.Every time they get together and Toono graces them with his cursed presence, all he does is flutter and fret over Ikuya - like he’s a baby. Asahi calls him the baby of the group to get a rise out of him. Toono never uses the word, but he treats Ikuya like he’s made of glass, sure to shatter if he eats the wrong mushed carrots.The mushed carrot himself is here right now, doing what he does best and making sure Ikuya doesn’t have to so much as stand to get a glass of water. Why does he put up with this dude? He’s not gonna fuck you, man! Asahi thinks, proud of having graduated from ‘doing it,’ if only in his mind.But he did fuck someone! No. Stop, stop, stop. Natsuya’s horror show of a birthday party is neither the time nor place for those thoughts. Not when several people are on the verge of throwing up from being force-fed shots by the birthday boy.Ikuya’s clear boredom and annoyance are all over his face. Asahi knows he loves his brother to death, and would also happily commit fratricide. He needs company other than Mommy Toono, and who better than Asahi?Turtleneck Toono glares death rays when Asahi flops onto the couch beside Ikuya. Too bad, so sad. “Having fun?”“What do you think?”“Tashay.”“Touché?”“Potato, potato.”Ikuya lets out a sigh that sounds more like a groan. “Hiyori,” he says, “can you get us another beer? You too.”“But you’ve already - ”“He’s not four,” Asahi chimes in, rolling his eyes. “Forget it, man. I’ll go get the - ”“No!” Hiyori snaps, because god forbid anyone undermine his authority as shit eater of the decade. “Ikuya, I’ll be right back.” The look he gives Asahi promises premeditated murder with an airtight alibi.“You need to be nicer to him.”“Why? Lowering his quality of life is all I have.”Ikuya’s snort sounds suspiciously like a laugh. “I give up. You get brownie points for telling him I’m not a baby.”“You’re not,” Asahi insists. “You’re the baby, not a baby. Big difference.”Apart from the usual pouts and physical harm, Ikuya’s been letting the baby thing slide lately, never addressing the odd moment in front of his building. If not for the weird, gnawing sense he’d missed something important, Asahi would be inclined to believe it never happened. But Ikuya has always been unpredictable, keeping Asahi on his toes with his uncanny ability to turn on a dime.“Oh?” Ikuya’s eyes flash as he angles his body toward Asahi and taps his shin with his foot. “Tell me what the difference is, oh wise adult.”Meeting Ikuya’s gaze head on when he gets that look in his eyes is hard. Other things are hard too, but now is not the time. The sound of Natsuya tripping and falling onto the coffee table is background noise, easy to tune out when Natsuya’s brother is breaking Asahi’s brain.“Uh…babies can’t swim. You swim the best. And. Uh. Babies don’t have jokes - I mean, they look hilarious when they’re shitting their diapers but…you’ve got jokes. And I hope you don’t shit your diaper? And I really hope you’re not wearing one?”“Not tonight,” Ikuya says. “It’s a special occasion.”“See? You’ve got jokes.”Ikuya’s lips curve up in a captivating smile. “More.”“Demanding.”Scooching a few inches toward Asahi, he leans in and says, “Whatever the baby of the group wants, right?”Asahi watches Ikuya’s mouth shape around the words, trying not to go slack-jawed and stupid like the monkey Ikuya never stopped comparing him to. “Y-yeah,” he stammers. “So like…babies are cute. But you’re - you’re super - ”“Ikuya!” Toono’s nasal voice is an unwelcome sound; his physical, emotional, and evil presence even more so. “You like this one, right?”Ikuya crosses his legs on the couch, smiling at Toono like he wasn’t just demanding praise from Asahi, or like Asahi wasn’t about to try his awkward hand at making a failed move. “Love it. Thanks, Hiyori.”“Yeah, thanks, Toono.”His restraint should be recorded in history books.The two of them sit on the couch, simmering in their mutual hatred. Ikuya sits between them, very much the wiser. One might go so far as to say he’s enjoying their pain. He’s waiting to see which one of them will break and leave first. That has to be it. He’s not gonna fuck you, man! Asahi screams, loud enough for Toono to hear telepathically.Not like he’s gonna fuck him either. Never going to happen. Asahi wouldn’t know what to do if he did, so maybe it’s for the best. But on the off chance Ikuya is going to fuck him - which he isn’t - it’d be cool if Toono got the message and fucked off. Until the end of time.Natsuya turns out to be his savior, homing in on them as his next victims. As a birthday gift, Ikuya humors his mess of a brother. Toono stands his ground and refuses. Under no circumstances can Asahi have one single thing in common with his enemy, even if it means throwing back raspberry flavored rum that tastes like puke going down.They’re antagonized into one more before Nao drags Natsuya away kicking and screaming. Nao is the best mom. Silence falls over the awkward trio once more, agonizing in ways capital punishment could never be. Until -Asahi must be a psychic. A mind controller. He comes to this decision when Toono announces his departure, meaning Asahi’s inner screams have been heard and heeded. The shots were the last straw, Toono says, but Asahi knows better.“Will you be okay getting home?” he asks Ikuya. “It’s getting late.”“I’ll be fine, Hiyori. Don’t worry.”Toono hesitates. Can’t he just go booty call that guy from Naribusawa like a normal person? “Text me when you get home. And call if you need anything, I’ll keep my phone on the pillow - ”“Cross my heart,” Ikuya swears. “You’ll be the first one I call.”Gross. But it gets Toono to get a fucking move on, so Asahi will just have to stomach their weird friendship in which they are not fucking. Once the turtlenecked swamp monster is gone, the tension gathered in his shoulders dissipates and he starts chilling hard. Soon he starts to feel the effects of his liver disintegrating. It’s nice. Just a little past where he should be, but who cares? His gaze drifts back to Ikuya - slight flush on his cheeks, relaxed posture, glassy eyes, uneven, sexy-ass smile.Lord on high, he’d risk it all to be a new addition to Ikuya’s body count. And by ‘all’ he means ‘nothing,’ and by ‘body count’ he means ew, why would he think that? Assuming Ikuya has a body count at all is nasty and judgmental. But he’s in no state to unpack body counts and risks, not when that sexy-ass smile turns his way.“Good job,” Ikuya says. “You behaved yourself with him for once.”“Yeah, and it took twenty years off my life.”“Brave.” The strawberry rum that felt like hellfire in his throat smells like heaven on Ikuya’s breath. Asahi knows this because he’s close enough to smell it. When did that happen? “Now. You were saying something before Hiyori came over?”“Right.” Asahi searches his swimming brain and comes up empty, probably because Ikuya is getting him secondhand plastered with 70-proof puffs of breath. “What I was saying was…uh…”“You were telling me why I wasn’t a baby,” Ikuya reminds him. “Babies are cute, you said. So what am I?”Might as well at least try to say it, right? After all - he’s not gonna fuck you, man!“Babies are cute, yeah. And you’re…not?”Ikuya frowns. “Don’t be mean.”
“I’m not! Okay. Babies are cute,” he tries again. “You’re, like, the opposite - fuck.” Ikuya’s sexy-ass smile widens as he inches closer. “You’re kind of…super hot?”Drinking bleach in the morning as he packs his things to leave the country seems worlds away.“I was hoping you’d say that.” Giving fuck all about their surroundings, Ikuya moves even closer. Asahi swallows. “Does that make me all grown up?” he murmurs, filling Asahi with heat he doesn’t know how to handle.“Still the baby of the group,” he says. “And that’s not - ” he loses his words when he feels Ikuya’s hand creeping up the inside of his thigh. “That’s not a bad thing?”“I think you like it,” Ikuya whispers. “Do you like calling me that?”“You, uh - you - ” Ikuya’s hand is inches from his crotch. “Yeah,” he manages. “I do. But - ”“Come back to my place.”…is he gonna fuck him?As soon as the door to his apartment closes, Ikuya has Asahi against the wall.“You’re impossible.” Ikuya tugs on Asahi’s lower lip with his teeth and traces it with his tongue. “Baka Asahi.”Asahi’s dick twitches. “You - ”Ikuya is not in the business of letting him finish one single sentence tonight, and complaining about it is not on Asahi’s dance card. Not when Ikuya’s mouth is everywhere but on Asahi’s. Soft, wet lips brush over his skin, never kissing, only teasing. They skim his temple, cheeks, jaw, down one side of his neck and up the other. Asahi has no idea why this is happening to him, but here he is, smack-dab in the middle of one of his wet dreams.Ikuya hums in his ear, making him shiver. “Should I keep going?”All Asahi can do is nod and give a strained “Uh-huh.”Those soft, wet lips finally reach his mouth. “Good.”Ikuya’s kiss is slow and sensual, so consuming Asahi barely notices when Ikuya’s tongue slips into his mouth, sliding against his in languid strokes. Asahi moans into the kiss when Ikuya grinds against him, showing just how turned on he is and pulling Asahi with him.Why is this happening? Why him? A few months ago Ikuya was dumping crabs on his head, and now they’re dry fucking at Ikuya’s apartment. His mind races until Ikuya grabs his ass, using dirty, welcome tricks to get Asahi’s attention back on him.“Bedroom,” Ikuya orders, flushed and out of breath.“Sure.” Sure? Sexy.On the short trek to Ikuya’s room, reality comes crashing down around him - he doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing. He could go the ‘fake it til he makes it’ route. But knowing him, it would end in disaster. So…he should probably say something. Which isn’t a problem, because as in all things, he’s a genius.“I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.”Doing things - all the things - is his lot in life. What would he be if he wasn’t always doing all the things? Functioning, for starters. Ikuya sits on the edge of the bed and looks up at him, unbothered.“I know.”“Oh. Wait, what?”“You had aggressive ‘I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing’ energy during Never Have I Ever,” Ikuya says. “You miss more signals than a car with its brakes cut. And ‘what age do people start thinking you’re weird for not doing it’ popped up in your search history when you were googling ‘what is the biggest turtle of all time.’”Google is over. Bing is the new frontier.“And you still want to?” he asks. “Like, with me?”“No,” Ikuya deadpans as he unbuttons his pants. “I just felt you up in public, took you home, tongue fucked you, and dragged you to my room to play video games. Get over here, baka Asahi.”No need to ask him twice. He joins Ikuya, whose pants are now past his knees, revealing legs he sees several times a week, only way, way better. He achieves pantslessness with considerably less grace, but there are more important matters at hand.“So…”Ikuya answers his non-question by pulling Asahi’s shirt off, followed by his own. “So get comfortable.” He pushes Asahi onto the bed and begins kissing down his chest and stomach. He nips at the skin above Asahi’s underwear, an unexpected move in an unexpected night that makes Asahi gasp. His underwear is next, pulled down his legs by Ikuya’s teeth. It’s a sight that could very well cut their night short. Once his underwear is gone, Ikuya moves back up, raking his nails up his thighs until he reaches Asahi’s dick, which has one single directive: fuck Ikuya, and fuck him good. Hopefully.Warmth envelops him out of nowhere, wet and deep. “What the…holy shit,” he groans, watching Ikuya’s head bob. Nothing - repeat, nothing - has ever felt this good. Not in this life or the next. Fire burns in his belly as his hips jerk up into an unflinching Ikuya’s mouth. “I’m gonna die.” Ikuya laughs around his dick. The vibration kills Asahi, and makes him worry about…something. “God,” he moans. You know…something. “I’m - ” Ikuya and his filthy, perfect mouth move faster. Something like -Like what’s happening in less than a second.Ikuya pulls off less than a second before Asahi comes, working him through his orgasm with a satisfied expression. Which is weird because Asahi’s blown it - literally - before they can even do what they came here to do. Mortified, chest still heaving, he claps a hand over his eyes and mutters, “Shit, sorry.”“Nope.”“Nope? How are we supposed to…you know…”“Please just say fuck,” Ikuya says. “Which is what we can have even more fun doing now, by the way.”Asahi pushes himself up and finds himself face-to-face with a disgustingly hot Ikuya, lips shiny and swollen from sucking him off. He’s still waiting for his alarm to go off after the seventh time hitting snooze, guilty as shit for dreaming about Ikuya this way. But unless he’s hit snooze eight hundred times, no alarms will be going off tonight.“How?”Ikuya smiles a Cheshire cat smile. “You’ll last longer next time.”With the laser focus of a god, Asahi watches Ikuya pull his underwear off. “So you really fucked a guy in the pool?” he asks, wondering what other lucky asshole got to see this, because this is legendary.Silence fills the room, terrifying and loud until Ikuya starts laughing. “You bet I did,” he teases, crawling on top of Asahi. “Why? Does it bother you?” Asahi’s already-red face is about to catch actual fire. “Does it kill you, knowing someone fucked me?” A tongue flickers against his earlobe. “Or does imagining me like that turn you on?”“Jesus fucking Christ,” Asahi mutters. “What is wrong with you?”“Don’t be a baby,” Ikuya says. “Sorry - the baby.”“This is extortion. Or something.”“Entrapment.” Ikuya’s smile is evil in ways Kisumi could never dream of. “Don’t worry. You’ve got an adult in the room.”Asahi knows when he’s been had. “So was this just to get back at me? Or…”“Oh, no. You’re absolutely going to fuck me. Don’t worry,” Ikuya assures him, kissing his shoulder. “I’ve got you. Baby.”Ikuya may be a gloating adult, but he does have Asahi. Nothing can help Asahi pouring way too much lube on his fingers, but he compensates by swearing to cover Ikuya’s next laundry day. Ikuya pulls his knees up and shows Asahi his entrance, guiding him every step of the way. To Asahi’s surprise and confusion, he’s met with little resistance when he pushes his finger in, one knuckle, two, all the way in.“Good,” Ikuya sighs. “Yeah, you can just pull it out, push it in, like you’re fucking me.” If he was worried he wouldn’t get hard again, he sure isn’t anymore. Ikuya’s breath is quickening, airy when he says, “Try another.”“Uh…are you sure?” Ikuya nods. “Cool.” He shouldn’t be allowed to have sex. Entry is less smooth this time, but still much easier than he’d imagined. Shouldn’t this be a lot harder? Unless - “Hold up,” he says, withdrawing his fingers. “Did you do this before you…?”“Of course I did,” Ikuya says, locking eyes with Asahi, gaze coquettish. “You were leaving with me if I had to make you come right there on that couch.”“There is something seriously wrong with you.” And Asahi is so seriously turned on, it’s bananas. “You’re a freak.”“Guilty. And I wanted to make this easy and fun for you. You deserve it. And good lord, do you need it.”“You were so close to being sentimental,” he says, sentimental as a horny boy can be. “Thank you.”“Anything for you, baby.”“Shut the fuck up.”
“No, you. And get your fingers back in there, three won’t be as easy.”Asahi does as he’s told, obsessed with all the sounds Ikuya makes and the way his eyelids flutter trying to keep them open. Little by little, he pushes a third finger inside, fucking terrified he’ll hurt him. But he has no chance to, because Ikuya tells him when to use more lube, when to go slower, how to move so it won’t hurt. Once he’s inside, Ikuya guides him. Rub there, push there, pull there, curl your fingers - fuck, right there, keep going, don’t stop. Soon he’s pushing down on Asahi’s fingers, mindlessly repeating himself again and again.Asahi is so fucking hard. This is by far the hottest thing he’s ever seen or imagined. He’ll have to figure out why he was the chosen one later, because he has one job right now, and that’s fucking this nightmare disguised as his beloved friend disguised as an angel.“Come on,” Ikuya says. “Get in me already. No,” he whines when Asahi pulls his fingers out. What does he want? He wants them out, he wants them in - is everyone this hard to fuck? Knowing Ikuya, it’s just him.The next step is obvious, so he should be fine. He will be cool and confident doing the one thing everyone does and knows exactly how to do, with zero room for error. So when he leans down and pushes against Ikuya’s entrance and just kind of…fails, he is neither cool nor confident.“Well, this sucks.”For once, Ikuya doesn’t mock him. “Breathe,” he says, gently kissing his cheek and rubbing his back. “Just relax.” Asahi closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, and another, and another. Little by little, his tense shoulders and thighs loosen, and his hips move forward. “That’s right,” Ikuya breathes in his ear. “Just come in.”Ikuya’s invited him in, and though he’ll never admit it, Asahi is physically incapable of telling him no. It’s a slow slide now. He shudders as he goes deeper - no, he will not blow it again, not before they’ve even started. He could never show his face in public again. By the time he’s fully seated he’s about dead, but still manages to meet Ikuya’s big old beautiful eyes.“Not bad, huh?”“Worse things have happ - fuck,” he curses when Ikuya contracts around him on purpose. “You’re the one not getting fucked if you keep doing that.”“Something tells me you’ll make sure that doesn’t happen.” The corner of Ikuya’s mouth tugs up. “So…were you planning to stay there all night? Catch up on gossip? Because I heard Rin and Haru - there we go.”Finally, no room for error. Sort of. The first few thrusts are a little awkward and overeager, but Ikuya slows him down to an easy, slower pace. Now that he’s inside, all he can do is wonder how he’s gone through life romancing his right hand when this exists. Because this is incredible. Ikuya looks like a dream, mouth open and panting, hair falling across his face. Asahi feels hands on his ass before a forceful pull has him pitching forward.“Harder,” Ikuya moans. “Fuck me harder.”Asahi comes this close to coming right then. “Y-yeah,” he gets out, “I’ll fuck - ” Ikuya fucks himself on his dick, hard. “Fuck.”“Don’t be - mm - don’t be a baby. Give it to me.”Now there really is no room for error. Easy is long gone. Fucking Ikuya is a full-body workout, a chaos of curses and sweaty skin and loud noises torn from their throats as they chase their orgasms. Asahi’s hips snap forward, drowning in Ikuya, Ikuya, Ikuya.“Yeah, yes, fucking deeper,” Ikuya moans. “Do it, baby, do it, come inside me. ”Of course baby would do it for him. His thighs clench and flex, toes curling and hips moving in rhythmless shoves. “Fuck” falls from his mouth into Ikuya’s, a shaking Ikuya with nails digging into Asahi’s shoulders hard enough to draw blood and missing Asahi’s lips when he tries to kiss him.“What…what just happened?” he says as he starts his slow tumble down and Ikuya pulls him into a messy kiss. “Did I just die?”“Did you?” Ikuya asks, holding Asahi’s trembling body close. “Or did you just get your baby card revoked?”“Don’t be weird, you freak.” Ikuya’s loose, satisfied limbs snake around him. “Were you jealous of that crab or something? Because you just went nuts.”Their breathing is within running distance of normal now. “Sorry,” Ikuya says, expression softening. “Was that good for you? Too much?”“What?” Asahi would jump up if his dick wasn’t still inside Ikuya. “That was the greatest thing ever! Why don’t people do it all the time?”Ikuya plants a kiss on his forehead. “They do, baka Asahi. Now you do too.”“Me? Like, with people?” Nothing has changed. “People as in - ”“Oh my god, with me,” Ikuya cuts in, saving Asahi from himself. “You’re going to do it with me all the time.”Take that, pool guy. Bet he wasn’t doing it with Ikuya all the time. “Don’t you need a permission slip?” he says, unable to help himself. “Since you’re the baby of the group.”Unlike Asahi, Ikuya has no problem pulling off the dick inside him. “No! You don’t get to call me that anymore!”“Why? You just said my baby card was revoked. That means you’re the - ”“You ever want to have sex again?” Asahi freezes mid-sentence. “Thought so. We’re even, got it?” Asahi nods silently. “No one calls anyone baby anymore.”“Aye aye, captain.”“Glad that’s settled. Now let’s go.” Ikuya climbs out of bed and motions for Asahi to follow. “You’re fucking me against the fridge next.”Asahi has never fallen out of any bed faster. “Wait!” he cries. “I don’t know how to do that!”Ikuya’s laughter floats from the kitchen.“Baby!”…he can live with that.