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it wasn’t uncommon for you and your crewmates to end up in unusual situations, but this was too much to handle. there was so much to process that you weren’t sure what to focus on first.
vinsmoke? wedding invitation? big mom? the situation was becoming more and more confusing by the second, and you could only watch helplessly as sanji became more and more distraught. you don’t think you had ever seen sanji so beside himself, and it made your heart hurt in a way that was hard to explain.
you weren’t sure when your feelings for sanji had bloomed into something more than just a friendship between fellow crewmates. at first, sanji treated you the same way as any other woman who so much as looked his way: doting and flamboyant and perhaps a bit obsessive. though sometimes endearing, his extravagant displays of affection and sugar-coated soliloquies of praise often struck you as superficial.
you always felt there was more to sanji, something authentic and vulnerable buried deep beneath his womanizing facade. it intrigued you from the moment you first met him, and after you joined the strawhats, you endeavored to uncover this hidden side to the chef.
you started spending more time in the kitchen, making casual conversation with sanji and watching him cook. initially, he kept up his loverboy antics around you, much to your chagrin. you could hardly say a word to him without sending him into a spinning, swirling mess of exaltations.
but with enough patience and gentle coaxing, sanji began to slowly open up to you. it started with simple anecdotes he shared while cooking. the story of the first time he ever made a particular dish. the origin of a certain recipe. a fond memory of his time at baratie. you cherished any and every tidbit of information he shared with you.
from there, your bond with the chef only grew stronger. upon arriving on a new island, instead of shopping with nami and robin or exploring with luffy and usopp, you would help sanji with food and supply runs, browsing local markets and searching for exciting new ingredients. watching sanji in the kitchen turned into helping him wash dishes turned into him offering to teach you how to cook.
these cooking lessons were the first hint that your relationship with sanji was developing into something more, something new and exciting and terrifying all at once. you felt your cheeks heat up whenever sanji would stand behind you while you chopped herbs or vegetables, placing his hands over yours to guide your movements and mumbling encouraging compliments in your ear no matter how rough and uneven your cuts were. when sampling something you made, he would always give you a beaming smile, patting your head and complimenting your work in such a genuine manner, it made your stomach flip. you pushed these feelings aside, not wanting to ruin this delicate friendship you’d worked so hard to form, but it was getting harder and harder to hide your affection for sanji with each passing day.
upon returning to sabaody after the two-year long separation, you quickly realized something had changed between you and sanji, something you struggled to put into words. of course, all of your crewmates had changed during that time, accruing new skills and stories and battle scars to bring into the new world. and you were no different. you had spent the bittersweet time apart from your crew getting stronger and honing your talents to ensure you could always help your friends and your captain, no matter how terrifying a threat you faced.
you had nearly tackled sanji in a spine-crushing hug the first time you saw him again, squeezing your eyes shut and burying your face into the crook of his neck to hide the joyful tears that threatened to spill down your cheeks. you were immediately enveloped in the familiar scent of nicotine and cologne, and for the first time in two years, you felt truly at ease.
sanji was shocked initially, but allowed himself to sink into your embrace, returning the hug with equal fervor and running a soothing hand up and down your back. it was only after you composed yourself that you were able to notice just how much sanji had changed.
you pulled back from his grasp to fully take him in. he was taller, you noted, and the scruff on his chin had grown into a full, neatly-kept goatee. his hair was a tad longer, and you noticed he’d changed the way he parted his bangs. though mostly hidden from sight under the many layers of his suit, you could tell as you’d clung to him that he had gotten stronger, his lean torso now solid with sinew and muscle. you had always found sanji to be charming in a boyish way, lanky and wiry with soft, round cheeks that looked so squishable (not that you would ever say that out loud).
standing before you was no longer a boy, but a man, chiseled and toned and finally having grown into those long, powerful legs of his. the word “adorable” had often come to mind when you thought about sanji before, but that word no longer did him justice. now, he was strikingly handsome.
that notion pulled you from your thoughts, a flush spreading across your cheeks when you realized you’d been standing there for gods know how long, blatantly ogling sanji as you appraised his appearance. luckily, he seemed to be stuck in a trance of his own, looking you up and down and admiring all the ways your appearance had changed since you last saw each other.
you both had the decency to look somewhat ashamed when you finally locked eyes again, realizing what the two of you had just been doing.
from that point on, everything was different. you could dice an onion or peel a potato with ease, but sanji always insisted on helping you, pressing his chest against your back and brushing against your sides as his hands moved to gently wrap around your own. these once-harmless touches were more deliberate, lingering just a second too long. you weren’t even listening to his instructions anymore, distracted by his hot breath against your ear and wishing you could hear his whispered praises for more than just your vegetable-cutting skills.
with many of the great adventures the crew had came many experiences you wished you could forget, and unfortunately nightmares were becoming a more common occurrence for you. on those nights when you knew sanji was on watch duty, you instinctively sought his presence. he always welcomed you with open arms, pulling you close to his chest to protect you from the chilly night air and the terrifying images that plagued your weary mind. the smell of cigarette smoke once bothered you, but now it was one of your favorite scents, mingled with hints of spices and cologne in a blend that was so uniquely sanji. whether it was a snack, reassuring words, or just a warm blanket with a warmer hug, sanji would give you whatever you needed and more.
you never said anything about your feelings for sanji and if he felt the same way about you, he was similarly silent. for months, the two of you had been like celestial bodies, pulled in by the weight of your attraction and perpetually orbiting around each other, never wanting to get too close in fear of a catastrophic collision ruining this perfectly-orchestrated dance.
and now, you were losing him.
you started panicking, unable to remain calm for sanji’s sake anymore. you pulled at your restraints, the metal chains rattling and clanking loudly against each other. your voice was shaky and strained, but you couldn’t stop the frantic pleas that came pouring out of your mouth.
“sanji, please. i don’t- i don’t know what’s going on or what they’re telling you, but please.”
you knew you sounded utterly pathetic, but you couldn’t help yourself. you saw sanji’s shoulders tense before he stood up from the table.
when you finally saw the look on his face, tears poured from your eyes in earnest. he was smiling, but it was a sad, empty smile, like he was trying to convince you everything was alright even though you both knew it wasn’t. his gaze held a swirling hurricane of emotions; guilt, regret, hesitancy, bitter resolve, and… tenderness? love? you didn’t know.
the clanking of chains grew louder as you struggled harder against your bonds, uncaring of the strain it was putting on your wrists. the words were spilling out of you like vomit, fast and jumbled and out of control.
“sanji. sanji, it’s okay. it doesn’t matter- it doesn’t matter what they’re telling you. d-don’t listen to them. we’ll help you! we’re your friends! i-we care about you. we’ll fight whoever we need to fight! just please! please don’t leave.”
you’d been nearly shouting, but the last sentence came out quiet and soft, quiet enough that sanji may not have heard you had he not been slowly making his way over to you during all of your rambling. that sad smile never left his face as he kneeled down in front of you.
one hand came up to stroke your cheek, futilely brushing away the tears that wouldn’t stop flowing. he leaned in so his forehead was pressing against yours, whispering so that only you could hear him.
“i’m so sorry, love.”
you hardly had time to process his words before he pressed his lips against yours.
the kiss was gentle, chaste and pure and perhaps a little hesitant at first, as though he were afraid you would pull back at any moment.
but you didn’t.
tears still streaming down your cheeks, you reciprocated as best you could, pouring all of your unspoken devotion and affection for sanji into the kiss.
suddenly, everything fell away around you. the fire-tank pirates were letting out groans of discontent, intermingled with the shocked gasps of your crewmates next to you. you heard none of it. as far as you knew, you and sanji were the only two people in the world right now.
sanji was always so selfless, putting the needs of his friends above his own and bending over backwards to fulfill any request given to him. but in this one moment, he was greedy. his hand slipped down from your cheek to the back of your neck, tilting your head slightly and kissing you like it was the last thing he would ever do on this earth. the sharp taste of menthol mixed with the saltiness of tears as you moved your lips against sanji’s, savoring every second of the kiss and dreading the inevitable moment when you would be forced apart.
“kissing another woman right before your wedding? vinsmoke, you dog!”
bege’s voice cut through the stunned silence that had permeated the room, replacing it with raucous laughter and jeers.
as if snapped back into reality, sanji reluctantly pulled away, giving you one last sad smile before turning his attention to the rest of your crewmates next to you.
you knew he was saying something to them, slipping some piece of paper into nami’s pocket and apologizing for how he’d hid all this from the crew. you couldn’t care less, though. you would gladly get caught in a web of lies spun by sanji if it meant you could be with him.
sanji pulled you and your crewmates into his arms, giving you all a final embrace. you wished you could tear off your chains if only to hold him one last time, but you settled for burying your face in his shoulder, basking in the smell of cigarettes and spices and cologne you’d grown to love so much.
it seemed the universe couldn’t allow you even the briefest of indulgences as you were ripped from your reverie, a sudden feeling of weightlessness shocking your senses. you and your crewmates had been sent flying, hurtling out of the strange entity that was capone bege’s body.
everything seemed to be moving in slow motion. you wouldn’t be surprised if the earth itself had stopped spinning in that moment. you were able to make out sanji’s expression in extraordinary detail. it was as if your mind knew this could be the last time you ever saw him, and you wanted to commit his every feature to memory.
he wore a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, one that you could tell was fake even if you hadn’t already seen him smile a hundred times before. it was nothing like the way he smiled while he was cooking for the crew, easy and contented and in his element. it was nothing like the way he smiled at you when you proudly displayed the dish you’d made under his guidance, toothy and beaming as the corners of eyes crinkled with joy.
it was nothing like the way he smiled when it was just the two of you in the crow’s nest late at night, gentle and loving and full of so much that was left unspoken.
no, now sanji’s smile was shallow, empty. his words were somehow even more hollow as they reached your ears.
“i promise i’ll be back. tell everyone i said hi.”
liar.
you’d didn’t even try to brace yourself as you hit the ground with a dull thud, now back in the forest of zou. your crewmates were talking worriedly around you, trying to make sense of what had just happened, but you couldn’t make out what they were saying.
your tears had all dried up now. you stared at the sky with an empty gaze. the chains were still digging into your skin, but even the insistent press of the harsh metal couldn’t compare to the anguish in your heart. sanji’s last words to you played over and over in your mind like a broken record, each rendition making your chest ache further and further.
“i promise i’ll be back.”
liar.