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In the dead of Night, Astrid riffled through Babette’s alchemy books. She knew nothing about the fine craft of forming potions, but there was no chance in the Void that Babette would help her with this! She needed a specific draft… her finger landed in the middle of a page, and hef face split into a wide, manic grin. The Page she marked read ‘Cordellia’s Mind Puppeteering elixir - potent and dangerous.’
***
The Listener got up from her chair - she wasn’t sure why, but she thought it had to do with Cicero. Perhaps she was going to tell him about her breakfast? It had tasted… odd, this morning. But no, that wasn’t it.
Part of her panicked now, but it was as if that panic was beneath a heavy feather blanket. She didn’t know why she was going or where. Every step she took… it felt like someone else's legs were attached to her feet. Eventually, she made it to the little cave with the enchanting table, where she found Cicero, in conversation with Festus Krex.
“Oh, Listener!” he looked up and clapped his hands, “how wonderful! We were just discussing how-”
“Keeper,” she said, very quietly and very sternly. The words all felt alien in her mouth but… but she was the one saying them, “can I see you in private?”
“Of course Listener!”
Festus snorted, like he thought he knew something one of them didn’t. The Listener went to snap at him, but in the end, she must have decided better of it, because no words were said.
She led him through the corridors. Her steps were slow, lagged, her toes dragged on the floor. But his steps were as bright as ever.
And then they were outside, though the Listener couldn’t quite remember opening the door. And they were walking through Falkreath. Cicero said something, and she mumbled a response. But the details didn’t matter. They came upon a tree trunk… balanced across two cliffs. And she led him onto it.
She was high up. Vaughly, the Listener recalled being scared of heights. But she must not be that scared, because this was fine. She was fine. When they got to the middle, she turned around and faced Cicero.
Water rushed underneath, and the wind threatened to topple them. A hawk cried, somewhere. “You need to jump,” the Listener said, “the Night Mother said, you have to jump, then me. It’s the will of Sithis.”
Cicero blinked frowned, then laughed, “oh, oh Cicero sees! How funny! What an, urr, interesting joke the Listener’s thought up. Urr, Listener…?”
“This is no joke,” she shook her head. When the Listener looked at Cicero, she knew she felt love, of a kind, but much like everything else, it was under a thick layer of fog. “She said that if we don’t die now, we won’t have a place in the void. We’ll be forced to wander the heathen realms of oblivion until Alduin eats the worlds.”
He blinked, the blood drained from his face. Like a frightened mouse, or rat, his eyes darted back and forth, “no… no place in the void?”
She nodded.
“Can we,” he squeaked now and held his arm half out towards her, “can we at least go together? To the void? Unless our matron says otherwise…”
“Of course,” the Listener said, her words faded into nothing. She took his hand in hers. It was warm. She let her balance go, and they began to fall sideways, until they were falling towards the rapids, and there was nothing left to catch them.
“Wait!” she cried, reality snapping back, “what’s going-”
They were caught inches from the rocks - by air, or rather put, a magical net. It lowered them down onto a safe piece of grass. The Listener shook badly, trying to wrap her head around what almost happened. On the other side of the river, Babette stood alongside Festus, both were sweaty and out of breath.
“That-” Babette stammered, “that Astrid! I’ll have to start hiding my books from now on… are you alright?”
The Listener ignored her, instead burying her head into Cicero’s neck and crying. “I don’t know… you’ll hate me now, won’t you? I-”
“We’re not going to the void…?” Cicero muttered. He sounded… disappointed.
“No. We’re not. You… you wanted to die?”
“That’s a bad way to put it,” he chuckled, “Cicero thought it might be over. The others are dead… he will be soon enough. And who better to join the void with than the honoured Listener herself?”
“Well,” she said, thinking, “you’re not allowed to die, that’s an order. In fact, from now on, none of us are allowed to die.”
“Except the harlot Astrid?”
“...Except for Astrid.”