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Although he tries to limit his passive screen time as much as he can these days, the first thing Sebastian does whenever his plane touches down anywhere in the world is turn on his phone so he can let his mom know he landed safely. His schedule’s been so crazy lately that it’s been hard for her to keep up, so he always makes sure to let her know where he’s landed this time and what their time difference is.Since he just arrived back at JFK, however, after an intense few weeks of promoting The Apprentice, he figures he’ll just give her a call instead, maybe ask if he can stop by this weekend. That’s what he’s planning to do, at any rate. Those plans are waylaid the moment his phone finishes booting up and a notification pops up that stops him in his tracks. Well, technically, he’s still sitting down because the plane doors haven’t even opened yet, but mentally, he is very much arrested by the sight on his screen.Three missed calls. From Chris Evans.Sebastian’s heart instantly starts beating faster. It’s not that he and Chris never speak – they do, occasionally. But they usually text, or they run into each other at some event or other, so Chris calling him is pretty unusual in itself. Chris calling him three times over the past five hours… Sebastian doesn’t really know what to make of that. He quickly checks his texts to see if there is anything there that might shed light on the mystery, but finds just a couple from his friends and one from Emily, which he makes a mental note of to check later. Nothing from Chris.Sebastian frowns, trying to think what it could be that would make Chris call him several times out of the blue, but he can’t immediately think of anything. He just hopes it’s nothing bad. He’s not quite sure what ‘bad’ would look like and why it would make Chris call him with what seems to be some urgency, but he can’t help the stab of worry he feels regardless.Overhead, a disembodied voice lets the plane’s passengers know that it’ll be a little while yet before they can start disembarking the aircraft. It’ll be even longer for Sebastian, who usually prefers to get off last anyway in order to avoid curious stares and awkward conversations, so that’s what cinches it. Sparing a moment to be grateful for his business class booth, which grants him some measure of privacy, Sebastian takes a deep breath and hits the call button.Chris picks up after the fourth ring. “Hey, Seb!”“Chris,” Sebastian says, some of his worry easing at hearing the sound of Chris’s voice. “Hey, sorry I missed your calls. I was in the air.”“Oh, don’t worry about it. I figured it was something like that.”Chris sounds normal, he sounds fine, but Sebastian still has to ask. “Is- I mean, are you – is everything ok?”“Huh? Oh no, everything’s fine! Sorry, I didn’t think – I didn’t mean to worry you or anything,” Chris says, sounding a little sheepish. “I was just impatient. Excited.”The tension in Sebastian’s shoulders finally eases all the way. He lets himself relax back into his seat, glancing out the window to see a couple of airport employees start to unload luggage onto a row of carts. “Oh, good. I’m glad. So, uh, what were you excited about?” he asks, actually curious now that it's clear his worries were unfounded. “Well,” says Chris, “first of all, I gather I have you to thank for the literally thousands of Instagram messages I’ve received over the past couple of days, not to mention a call from my own agent who did not sound very happy with me, let me tell you.”Sebastian’s eyes widen. “What? I- How is that… What did I – ? Oh.” His palm connects with his forehead as the realization hits him. “The interview with Josh.”“The interview with Josh,” Chris repeats, deadpan.“I didn’t realize that was out already. I should’ve probably given you a heads up, huh?”“Would’ve been nice,” Chris agrees, though he thankfully doesn’t sound annoyed. In fact, he sounds pretty cheerful about it.Sebastian chuckles. “Sorry about that.”“It’s fine,” Chris says, grin evident in his voice. “I’ll admit that for a minute there I had no idea what was going on, until my agent called me to explain.”“Uh oh. She mad at me?”“Nah. If anything, she’s mad at me.”Sebastian blinks. “She is? Why?”“For leaving you hangin’.”“What? I don’t –”“Come on, Seb,” Chris interrupts, “you’re everywhere right now. You’re a hot ticket. Saoirse Ronan said she wants to work with you, for cryin’ out loud. So you saying you want to do a play with little old me… Well, let’s just say that doesn’t exactly reflect badly on me, does it? And the fact that you made it sound like I’m makin’ you beg for it… She’s worried people will think I don’t want to work with you, that I’m envious of your success or whatever.”Sebastian’s cheeks are on fire, and not just from the mental image of Chris making him beg for it, though that is doing interesting if predictable things to his body too. But also, it’s everything else Chris is saying. Because he knows, okay? Sebastian knows he’s been doing well for himself lately, that his star is rising, so to speak. But to hear Chris say it… Chris, who is both an A-lister and someone he's always admired for more than just his undeniable talent… It’s flattering and embarrassing in equal measure, making Sebastian’s insides squirm in a not entirely unpleasant way. “Oh, come on,” he deflects, “I was just messing around, she’s gotta know –”“Oh, so you don’t want to do a play with me? That it?”“No, I do,” Sebastian laughs, happily rising to the bait. “You know I do, Chris, I’ve been trying to get you to say yes for like, two years.”“I know,” Chris snickers, before sobering up a little. “And I didn’t mean to leave you hangin’, Seb, you know that, right?”“You didn’t –”“I did a little bit,” Chris interjects. “But it’s not –”“It’s fine, Chris. Really, don’t even worry about it. I know you’re busy and this isn’t –”“No, that’s not – Listen, let me explain for a minute, ok?”“Ok,” Sebastian allows, though he can’t help but add, under his breath, “I’m miming zipping my lips, just so you know.”“I bet it’s very convincing. You’re a great actor, or so everyone keeps telling me.”Sebastian barks out a laugh. “Chris!”“I’m kidding! I’m kidding, I swear,” Chris laughs. “Couldn’t resist, sorry.”“Alright, so. Explain.”“Right.” Chris takes an audible breath. “So, I know there’s been radio silence from my end for a while, but I haven’t forgotten about what you asked me. I’ve actually been thinking about it a lot, especially lately. Since seeing you at the thing for Feige, I mean. And I was actually planning on giving you a call anyway, but then my DMs exploded, and Scott’s too, by the way, and well, you kinda forced my hand.”“I’m sor–”“Nope, I’m not done. You did kind of force my hand, but that’s not a bad thing. I could do with a kick in the pants, to be honest. I’d been putting it off.”Sebastian swallows. “Can I say something? Please?”“Only ‘cause you’re askin’ so nicely.”Sebastian rolls his eyes, even though Chris can’t see. “I just wanna say, I really didn’t mean to pressure you. Or, I did, with that interview thing, but I wasn’t being serious. I know you said you needed to think about it and you explained why, and even if you don’t wanna do it, that’s totally ok. I mean, I’d be a little disappointed of course, because I really would like to do this with you, but –”“Sebastian.”“Yeah?”“You didn’t pressure me. Or at least, I didn’t feel pressured. I felt honored, frankly, and tempted. But also, it’s a pretty big commitment and I wanted to…. Well, like I told you, I needed to think about it for a while.”“Right,” Sebastian says, his heart starting to beat faster in anticipation.“Right,” Chris echoes. “So I thought about it. And, basically… Let’s do it.”Sebastian inhales sharply, a rush of excitement sweeping through him. “Really?”“Yeah. I wanna do this with you, Seb.”Sebastian sits up, suddenly vibrating with energy. “Really? I’m – Oh my god, Chris, are you serious? You wanna do Speed-the-Plow with me?”“No,” Chris says. “I mean, yes, I do, but also I’ve been thinking, and… Well, the reason I called wasn’t just to let you know I’m in, but also to ask you something.”“Oh,” Sebastian blinks. “Sure, yeah! Shoot.”“So, Scott – you know Scott, right, my brother?”“I know Scott, yeah.”“So, Scott has a friend, and this friend is a playwright, right? A pretty incredible one, and he wrote a script for the stage. And Seb, it’s good. It’s really, really good.” “Yeah?” Sebastian can’t help but smile at Chris’s earnest enthusiasm. Deep down, he already knows he’s most likely going to say yes to whatever Chris is going to ask of him. It would take a much stronger man to deny Chris Evans anything. “What’s it about?” “It’s a – well, it’s a drama, sort of. A historical drama set in the fifties, and it’s – No, actually, I think you should just read it. But listen, I genuinely think you’d love it.”Sebastian hums thoughtfully. “And you’re thinking we could…”“If you love it as much as I do, then yeah. I mean, no pressure, if you don't love it then just tell me honestly and we’ll do Speed-the-Plow, but I swear, it's worth at least a read. I've had several people in the industry read it already, just to make sure I wasn't just biased, you know? And they were all blown away. So you know, it’d really mean a lot to me if –” “Chris.”“Yeah?”“Send me the script. I'd love to read it.”“I – Oh. Really?”“Really. I figure anything you love and recommend this highly has got to be good, right? Color me intrigued.”“Amazing,” Chris exhales, sounding relieved. Like he was honestly worried Sebastian would shoot him down, the big idiot. “Alright, where are you? I'll courier it to you ASAP.”“Just landed at JFK, so just send it to my home address and I'll try and read it as soon as I can. I'll text you the address, don't know if you've got it yet.”“Perfect. No rush! But wow, yeah, it'd be great to hear what you think once you've read it.”A moment later, there's a knock on the door of Sebastian’s booth. A dark-haired flight attendant wearing an apologetic expression slides open the door to his compartment. “Excuse me, sir? I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm going to have to ask you to disembark the aircraft soon, if you wouldn’t mind.”“Sorry, of course,” Sebastian agrees, shooting him a smile as he gets up from his seat. “Listen, Chris, I gotta go, but it was good hearing from you, man. And sorry again about all the messages. I, uh, I think I underestimated how many people want us to work together again.”Chris laughs, a warm sound that settles comfortably in Sebastian’s chest. “Well, they're not alone. I'm excited, Seb. Whatever we end up doing, it's gonna be great. I know it will.”“Yeah,” Sebastian agrees, smiling. “Yeah, I know. Can't wait, speak soon.”“Bye, Seb. Speak soon.”***Later that afternoon, after Sebastian has called his mom and finished unpacking and has just settled into his couch with his late lunch, consisting of the sandwich he picked up at his favorite deli earlier as well as a freshly brewed mug of coffee, his doorbell rings.He groans, reluctantly putting his plate with the half-eaten sandwich down on the coffee table before making his way to the hallway, hoisting up his sweats as he goes. He buzzes up whoever it is without checking, figuring it’ll be the courier Chris promised to send his way. Meaning that when he pulls open his apartment door a few moments later, expecting a stranger, he gets quite the shock when he finds none other than Chris Evans himself, all handsome, bashful six feet of him, standing on his doorstep.“Oh my god,” Sebastian breathes, once he’s figured out how to close his mouth. “Wow. Hey.”“Hey, Seb.” Chris is smiling, but there’s a hint of apprehension in his blue eyes, like he’s not entirely sure of his welcome. “Surprise?”Sebastian, still stunned, just stares at him. Chris looks fantastic, he always does. Ball cap, beard, glasses, that smile that never fails to make Sebastian’s stomach do a little swoopy thing. He's wearing jeans and a shearling-lined cord jacket over a t-shirt, a simple black one with ‘East Side Ink Tattoo’ emblazoned on his chest in faded golden lettering.   “I know I said I was gonna send you the script by courier,” Chris continues, when Sebastian doesn’t say anything since he's too busy gawping. “But then I thought, what the hell, New York’s only a couple of hours’ away, and it’s a nice drive, especially at this time of year, and I didn’t have anything planned for today and you said you’d be home, so I figured, I’m just gonna bring it over myself. Shit, now I’m thinkin’ I should’ve called, to ask if you’d be ok with me stopping by today. I was feelin’ spontaneous, but you just got home, you’re probably tired, right? Anyway, it’s no big deal, I can just drop this off” – he holds up the bound manuscript – “and be outta your hair.”  Sebastian doesn’t let himself think too hard about it – he just steps forward, grabs Chris by the shoulders, and pulls him in without a word. Chris abruptly stops rambling, instead bringing his arms up around Sebastian's shoulders right back and enveloping him in a hug. They hold on tightly for a few moments, long enough for Sebastian to briefly bury his nose between Chris’s collar and neck, breathing in the scent of crisp October air, woodsy aftershave, and Chris’s skin. Sebastian probably shouldn't know what Chris’s skin smells like, and he definitely shouldn’t have missed the smell as much as he has, but whatever. No one has to know.  When they finally pull back, the tension around Chris’s eyes has disappeared, and something soft and fond has taken its place. “Hey,” he says again.“Hey, Chris. It’s really good to see you.”“Yeah?” Chris smiles, his eyebrows raised just a little bit.“Yeah,” Sebastian smiles back. “Fuck, sorry, you just caught me off guard a little, but I’m glad you’re here. Come in, come in.”He ushers Chris inside, closing the door behind him. Takes a deep breath.“I don’t have to stay long,” Chris says, turning around to face him. “I’m sure you’ve got stuff to do –”“Nah.” Sebastian waves a hand. “I haven’t got anything planned for the next couple of days, actually. I was just planning on vegetating on my couch and catching up on some sleep, maybe read a couple of scripts.” He claps a hand on Chris’s shoulder, giving it a brief squeeze. “You can stay as long as you like, Chris. You're not interrupting anything, I swear.”Chris looks at him for another moment, then nods. “If you’re sure.”“I’m sure. Can I get you a drink? I just made some coffee – Oh, wait. No coffee for you, right? I’ve got some tea somewhere, I’m pretty sure, or some OJ, maybe a couple of beers in the fridge.”“Don’t worry about it. Tea sounds good if you’ve got it, but I’m honestly fine with whatever.”Sebastian nods, disappearing into his kitchen for a minute. “Make yourself at home,” he calls back over his shoulder. “Sorry about the mess, I’ve just finished unpacking but I haven’t really had time to tidy up yet.”“You’re fine. I’m the one who dropped by unannounced, I’m not going to hold a little clutter against you.”Sebastian pointedly doesn’t think about what he would like Chris to hold against him instead. We’ve been over this, he tells himself sternly. Chris is a friend, a good friend, and that’s all he’ll ever be, and that’s fine. That’s great.If there’s a part of him that wishes he could be more, a part of him that’s dreamed about that possibility on and off ever since they met over a decade ago, then that’s just a harmless little fantasy. It’s not hurting anyone, except maybe Sebastian himself, sometimes, like now, with Chris suddenly here in his apartment looking big and soft and kissable, and fuck, Sebastian just wants to kiss him, just once –But no.“Friends”, Sebastian mutters to himself, followed by a triumphant little sound when he locates a tin of tea bags in the back of one of his kitchen cupboards. It’s just black tea, nothing fancy, but he hopes Chris won’t mind. He boils some water in the kettle, grabbing a mug from a different cupboard and some packets of sugar, just in case. After he’s poured the tea and dunked in a spoon, he makes his way back to the living room.Chris has got his back to him, and he’s browsing Sebastian’s bookshelves. He’s taken off his jacket and hat. Sebastian bites his lip as he takes in the way Chris’s biceps strain the sleeves of his t-shirt, the way the muscles in his back stretch the top of it while the bottom half is draped loosely around his slim waist. Jesus. Time seems to have taken nothing away from Chris’s appeal, nor Sebastian’s attraction to him.“Found you some tea,” he manages, after a second. “It’s just black, but I got you some sugar just in case.”“That’s great, Seb. Thanks.” Chris turns around and steps closer to take the mug from Sebastian’s hands. His smile crinkles the corners of his eyes, behind his glasses, and Sebastian’s heart thuds.He says, “I like the glasses. They suit you.” It comes out less casual than he would've preferred.“Thanks.” Chris says, with just a hint of shyness. “I like wearing ‘em. Also ‘cause, you know, they help me to see.”Sebastian laughs. “Guess that's a nice bonus, huh?”“Fashion first, of course, you know me,” Chris says seriously. “But yeah, seeing stuff is nice too.”Chuckling, Sebastian walks over to the table to grab his own mug of now lukewarm coffee. He doesn’t mind so much, though. Lukewarm coffee against having Chris Evans in his home? Seems like a fair tradeoff.“I like your new place.” Chris looks around with interest, big hands wrapped around Sebastian’s second-favorite mug. It looks much smaller in Chris’s grip than it normally does and Sebastian tries hard not to have any feelings about that.“Oh, that’s right. You’ve never been here, have you?”“Nope.” Chris takes a sip, wincing a little when it proves to be pretty hot still. “How long have you been here again?”“Couple of years, I think.”“Really? God, time flies, doesn’t it?” Tell me about it, Sebastian thinks. “Yeah. It really does. Been a while since you and I just hung out too. Outside of official events, I mean.”“I know,” Chris says, eyebrows going up and drawing together. “We should get together more often, Seb. If you want. I’d like to, in any case.”“Well, if this whole Broadway thing works out, you might be seeing so much of me soon that you’ll get sick of me again in no time,” Sebastian jokes. He takes a big drink of coffee right after. He may be joking, but even though it was his idea to do this play in the first place and he really does want to do this with Chris, he still can’t help but be a little apprehensive. Worried that Chris really will get sick of him, and that working together again so intensively will somehow ruin a good friendship, one that happens to mean a lot to Sebastian. Worried that spending so much time together will bring all those feelings that Sebastian has tried so hard to ignore and rationalize for so long come roaring back into the foreground. This could be an unmitigated disaster. But it’ll probably be fine. He hopes.“Are you kiddin’ me? It’s gonna be brilliant, Seb.” Chris makes an expansive arm gesture that nearly makes him spill his tea. “I’m really excited about this, have I mentioned that?”“You have,” Sebastian smiles, ducking his head a little. “I am too. Speaking of, where’s that script you want me to read so bad?”Chris practically bounces over to the dinner table, where he’d put down the manuscript after his arrival. “I really can’t wait for you to read it,” he tells Sebastian as he hands it over, sincerity dripping from every pore. “Again, no big deal if you hate it, but I got a feeling you won’t. I'm hoping you won’t. Although, again –”“No pressure,” Sebastian finishes, with a wry grin. “Got it.”Chris laughs again, self-consciously rubbing a hand over his neat, trimmed beard. “Alright, guess I’m not doing the best job of not pressuring you.”“Hey, consider us even now. You know, after the whole me calling on people to knock down your door about this thing.”“Deal. In fact, I’ve already forgotten about all that.”“Yeah?” Sebastian smiles. “That mean I’m back in your good books?”Instead of countering that with more teasing, Chris gives him one of his trademark earnest looks. “You’re in my best book, Sebastian. Just the fact that you agreed to read this script by someone you’ve never even heard of…”“Of course. Hey, why don’t I read it right now? You got me all curious.”Something flickers across Chris’s face that’s gone again before Sebastian can identify it. “Sure, yeah, sounds good. Lemme just finish my tea and I’ll be off.”“Oh, no – you could stay? I mean, you don’t have to, but you said you didn’t have anything important to do today, so you could also just not do anything, uh, here? If you want. You don’t have to.”Chris blinks, before he breaks out into a smile. “Ok, yeah. Why not? I could just grab a book, maybe? I saw you’ve got that new Tolle one I’ve been meaning to buy.”“Go for it.” Sebastian gestures at his bookcase to indicate Chris is welcome to help himself to whatever. “And seriously, make yourself at home. Grab a seat and, I don’t know, a damn blanket or whatever, anything you want. If you get hungry, let me know. I don’t really have anything stocked since I just got back, but we can always order something, right?”“Right,” Chris agrees, already settling into Sebastian’s arm chair with Tolle. “I’ll be fine, Seb, don’t worry about me. Just focus on that script and let me know if you need anything. I can make more coffee if you want. Well, I think. I can definitely grab us a beer.”Sebastian laughs. “Might take you up on that a bit later. Right now I think I’d fall asleep if I drank anything other than coffee.”The next little while is spent in companionable silence, Chris reading in the arm chair and Sebastian nestled in his favorite corner of the couch. If Sebastian had any leftover doubts about this script after Chris’s glowing recommendations, they disappear almost the minute he starts reading. It starts off strong, the writing immediately engaging, pulling Sebastian into the story.Like Chris had said, it’s set in the fifties, against the backdrop of the early years of the Cold War. The protagonists are two men in their late thirties, one Soviet, one American, both of them government officials who are soon getting roped into circumstances way over their heads. It reads like a spy thriller, almost, but there is an additional element of character study that Sebastian finds immediately fascinating. Both Piotr and Henry are portrayed as very human, very rounded characters. They’re flawed, sure, that’s par for the course in any story about a war. But Sebastian has never let himself be deterred by flawed characters. Quite the opposite, in fact. Already, he can feel himself starting to get excited about delving deeper into Piotr’s mind and motivations – at least, he’s assuming that would be his part. When it comes to stuff like this, he doesn’t mind being typecast a little every now and again.Sebastian forgets everything around him as he reads, even managing to not be quite so aware of the fact that Chris is sitting just a few feet away, reading his own book. Chris hadn’t been lying: the writing is seriously amazing, the dialogue sharp and intelligent, and the relationship between the two main characters, who keep encountering each other through no intention of their own, gets more intense and compelling with every page. They seem to be drawn to each other despite their differing backgrounds and belief systems. Essentially, they’re antagonists, yes, but there’s something between them nonetheless. Some sort of common ground, an understanding, some sort of mutual interest, which they never acknowledge, knowing it would get them into trouble.After an hour or so, Sebastian gets to a scene in which Piotr and Henry find themselves in a precarious situation, in the aftermath of a fraught meeting between Soviet and US officials. They run into each other in the restrooms afterwards, seemingly by chance. Henry, in halting words, tells Piotr to meet him in the park after dark. There is a tense moment where they just look at each other, and for the first time, Sebastian thinks – wait a minute.But no. It can’t be. He blinks, looking up to glance at Chris, who, seeming to feel Sebastian’s gaze on him, looks up too and meets Sebastian’s eyes. He doesn’t say anything, and neither does Sebastian.A confusing mix of apprehension and excitement swirls in Sebastian’s gut as he turns his eyes back to the page in front of him.The story draws him back in instantly. With bated breath, he reads about Piotr making his way to the park at nightfall, heading to the designated spot; an old, disused bridge overgrown with brambles and nettles at the south end of the park. When Piotr arrives, Henry is already there. Sebastian’s heart rate picks up as Henry steps forward, and then, without saying a word, grabs Piotr’s arm, pulls him into the shadows – and kisses him.Pushes him up against the wall and kisses him – passionately, according to the parenthetical. And Piotr kisses back.Sebastian gasps. Literally lets out a gasp of surprise at this turn of events, which he kind of did see coming but at the same time never thought would occur. Because this – this is a script Chris is very passionate about. A play Chris has made it very clear he wants to do with him, with Sebastian, and that’s –Sebastian’s poor, jetlagged brain just can’t process that at all.He looks up sharply, only to find Chris already watching him, an unreadable look in his eyes.“What –” Sebastian says dumbly, unable to tear his eyes away from Chris’s face. “So they..?”Chris nods slowly. “Makes sense, doesn’t it? In the story?”Sebastian slowly blows out a breath. “Well, yeah. I’m just…” He trails off, trying to get his brain back into working order. “Wow.”“Right? It got me too.”It’s Sebastian’s turn to nod. He still doesn’t quite know what to say, or ask. It's… a lot to process.“Go on,” Chris urges. “You’ve still got about half left. It gets even better.”Sebastian’s mind boggles, trying to think of what ‘better’ might entail. He's almost scared to find out.“I’ll order some food in the meantime,” Chris continues. “Pizza ok?”“Fine. Yeah.” Honestly, Sebastian couldn’t care less about food right now. He forgot about his half-eaten sandwich the minute Chris turned up on his doorstep, and now, thanks to this script, he’s pretty sure Chris could give him a piece of cardboard instead of pizza and he wouldn't even taste the difference.While Chris gets out his phone, presumably to place their pizza order, Sebastian returns to the script.Chris wasn’t exaggerating. The story gets even more intense after the metaphorical floodgates have opened and Piotr and Henry throw themselves into their inevitably doomed romance with abandon. Sebastian’s eyes nearly bug out of his head when he reads the sex scene that follows that first kiss. It’s raw and visceral and desperate, and despite his personal feelings about all of this, Sebastian’s heart aches for these men. It gets worse as the story continues, and they dig themselves deeper and deeper into a pit of despair and hopelessness, knowing they should quit while they still can but unable to let go of each other. Back in the real world, after an indeterminate amount of time has passed, the pizza arrives. His mind still on the story, Sebastian drags himself to the front door to get it, because, as Chris rightly reminds him, it’s probably best if no one sees Chris at his apartment. Sebastian doesn’t even know how much he tips the guy, just shoves a couple of notes at him with a mumbled “thanks”, takes the boxes, and closes the door in his face. He likewise isn’t aware of eating his pizza, not really, only vaguely registering that it’s good – a white truffle pizza, his favorite – but apart from that, he’s too engrossed in the story to give it much thought.Sebastian spends another twenty minutes or so reading about the two star crossed lovers dancing closer and closer to the edge before they eventually, inevitably, get caught. They’re arrested and forcefully separated, and the final part of the script recounts their trials, on the charges of espionage, treason, and sodomy. By the time he finishes reading, after Piotr and Henry have seen each other one last time in court, from opposite sides of the room, after Piotr is sentenced to death and after Henry takes his own life in prison, unable to live with the guilt and without Piotr, Sebastian is in tears. Like, actual tears, straight up crying on his couch, wiping at his eyes and nose with the sleeve of his hoodie, and not even caring about Chris seeing him like this. It’s an unhappy ending, that’s for sure. A tragedy, plain and simple, but it’s also beautifully written, poignant and undoubtedly relevant again. And Sebastian is aware of the recurrent criticism of a lot of LGBTQI+ stories; the fact that most of them end with one or both of the protagonists dead. But in this case, considering the circumstances, Sebastian thinks the story couldn’t have ended in anything other than a tragedy. And besides, it’s basically a retelling of Romeo and Juliet, anyway. A very, very skillful one. And, you know. Queer.He doesn’t really know what he was expecting, but it sure as hell wasn’t this.“Jesus,” he exhales, trying to get his breathing under control. “Fucking hell.”“Yeah?” Chris asks, looking both sympathetic and hopeful. “What do you think?”“I think it’s incredible,” Sebastian tells him, the words heartfelt, coming from his toes.Chris does a small fist pump. “I knew you’d love it. Isn’t it great?”“God. It is. Chris, it’s amazing, kinda like a –”“A gritty, gay, Cold War West Side Story but with more substance and better dialogue?”Sebastian huffs out a surprised breath, since that was pretty much exactly what he was thinking. “And no dancing or singing,” he adds, with a shaky laugh.“Unfortunately,” Chris grins. “We’ll save that for next time.”Sebastian bites his lip. “You really wanna do this, then? With me?” “I do.”“I mean, don’t get me wrong – this is one hell of a script. But… are you sure? You know it’s gonna be mayhem.”Chris shrugs. “Yeah. But it’ll be worth it.”Sebastian raises his eyebrows. “Will it? All the scrutiny, the speculation? I mean, people are gonna talk, Chris. It won’t all be pretty.”“I know. And I completely understand if you don’t wanna do it for that reason. Seriously, I wouldn’t blame you at all. But personally? I don’t give a shit what people say, not anymore. I’m too old to care about all that background noise, you know? I want to do things I love, things I’m passionate about. The days I let fear hold me back from doing that are gone, Seb.”Chris sounds completely serious, and with a pang, Sebastian realizes that it’s like hearing himself talk. And if he's honest, he knows there’s really no way he’s not going to do this, provided they manage to find proper backing, financially and artistically. The whole thing is right up his street, and he’s pretty sure Chris knew that from the get go. They’ve known each other long enough, after all.There’s one last thing bothering him, though.“It won’t just be people speculating about our sexuality, or even just conservative assholes telling us we’ll go to hell for this,” Sebastian says carefully. When Chris doesn’t say anything right away, he continues, “It’s also going to raise the hackles of a lot of folks in the LGBT community. They’re going to be – understandably, I think – unhappy that this incredible play is going to be debuted by two straight actors. Well, as far as they know, I mean.” He blinks. “I mean –”“Sure,” Chris interjects, saving Sebastian from having to further articulate that thought. “I get that, and I’ve thought about that. I’ve talked about it with Scott too, who's gay, as you may know, and so is the writer. Neither of them, at least, would have a problem with any of that. They'd even be willing to be vocal about that, because they both believe that acting is acting, you know? It’s not quite the same, I’m aware of that, but Scott’s played a couple straight roles. Not very convincingly, but still.”Sebastian huffs a laugh, then runs a hand through his hair and sighs. “I don’t know, Chris. I’ve had that criticism directed at me before, when I landed a couple of parts with gay storylines earlier in my career, but it wasn’t quite as much of an issue back then. I guess I've always figured… they don’t know me. They don’t know anything about me or my sexuality, and I shouldn’t have to explain anything to them, you know? But they might not find that kind of answer satisfactory anymore, these days.” He looks down at the floor after he finishes speaking, involuntarily holding his breath. He knows he hasn’t really said anything definitive or incriminating, but it's still a hell of a lot more than he's ever said before, especially to Chris.Chris doesn’t immediately reply. When Sebastian sneaks a glance at him, he finds Chris already looking at him; intently, thoughtfully. Sebastian starts to sweat, his heart beating faster.“I know,” Chris says finally, averting his eyes again. “But to be honest, that’s how I feel too. They don't know anything about me, least of all who I may or may not be attracted to.” He sighs, a frown forming between his eyebrows. “Hell, I don’t even know that, not really. I – I’m still figuring it out myself. I’m happy to tell that to anyone who asks, I don't care what they think of that.”Chris’s words cause Sebastian to experience a sense of vertigo so acute, it makes his stomach swoop dangerously. He can’t have understood that correctly.“Wait, you’re –” he starts, before clearing his throat and changing tack. “Sorry, I mean, it's none of my business either, of course, but…”“Eh, I don't mind.” Chris smiles, a little wryly. “I mean, I haven't got a lot of personal experience – or any, really, depending how you look at it. I’ve never… done anything, with a guy. But I’ve thought about it. I’ve wondered.”Chris has wondered. About being with guys. This is fine, Sebastian thinks, forcibly pushing down the wave of hysteria he can feel starting to rise in the pit of his stomach. Sebastian takes a deep, slow breath. Pointedly doesn't let himself overthink it. And then, he just comes out and says it. Literally.“I’m bisexual.” It's terrifying and liberating all at once, and for a moment Sebastian considers taking it back, playing it off as a joke somehow, or, hell, just sliding open the window and making his exit from this conversation by climbing down the fire escape, just so he won't have to see Chris's reaction. But hey, in for a penny…As soon as the words are out there, Chris inhales, then lets the breath escape again slowly. When he looks at Sebastian, his eyes are sincere and so, so blue. “Thank you for telling me,” he says, voice soft. “I did wonder about that too.”Sebastian's eyes widen. “You did?”“I mean, I – yeah. I just… wondered if you might be. Scott thought you were.”Despite the life-altering, vertigo-inducing nature of this conversation, that startles a laugh out of Sebastian. “He did, huh?”Chris laughs too, looking down at his own hands. “Yeah. He's usually right about these things. Which is why… Well, Scott said he thinks I might be too. Bisexual, I mean.”By now, Sebastian’s heart is beating so fast, he almost feels as though Chris ought to be able to hear it, skittering away in his chest. “Yeah?” he asks feebly. “And what do you think?”Chris looks up, his expression unguarded and nervous at the same time. “I… I think he might be right. Kinda thought so before he told me what he thought, actually.”Oh, god.Slowly, pretending his world isn't rearranging itself drastically in this very moment, Sebastian nods. “Thanks for trusting me with that,” he says, the words barely above a whisper. He clears his throat. “You – you said you didn’t have much experience, right?”Chris nods, wringing his hands in his lap. “Yeah. Never really had the opportunity to put it to the test. At least, not with someone that I… wanted to do that with, I guess.”“But there have been people, guys, that you would’ve wanted to do something with, if the opportunity had presented itself?” Sebastian asks carefully. “Or, or has it been purely hypothetical so far? If you don’t mind me asking.”“There have been, yeah. A couple. Not too many, not as many as women, you know? But definitely a couple who I’ve been more attracted to than I think most straight guys tend to be, to other men.”“Right,” Sebastian squeaks, trying to ignore the little voice in his head that is screaming at him to ask him who!!! because that’s none of Sebastian’s business, as much as he’d love to know. For, you know. Reasons. “Right, ok. I hear you. Kinda the same for me, I suppose. Although I guess I’ve got a little more experience.”He doesn’t miss the way Chris licks his lips before replying; the tiny, unconscious gesture making Sebastian’s stomach drop abruptly.“I am thinkin’ it might be good if I did,” Chris continues. “Get some practical experience, if we’re gonna do this play, I mean. Both to hopefully get some clarity about how I feel personally, but also to make sure I’m convincing. In the role.”“Right,” Sebastian says, knowing he sounds like a broken record, but unable to make his brain function properly under the circumstances. “Yeah, that’s… that sounds like a good idea. That would probably be smart.”Neither of them says anything for a moment, and then, at the same time –“We could –”“What if –”They both laugh, embarrassment mixing with relief.“Go on,” Chris says.“Well, I was just thinking we could maybe do sort of a table read for one of the kissing scenes. But more like, practice it. Maybe? If you want.”Chris licks his lips again, again seemingly unaware that he’s doing it. “Yeah,” he says. “I’d be up for that. That might be good.”Sebastian, sensing some doubt in Chris’s words, starts backtracking immediately. “We don’t have to, of course. I’m sure you’d be able to find other ways to gain that experience before we embark on this project, other people –”“No,” Chris says, a little too loudly, stunning Sebastian into silence. “That’s not – it's just…” He stops himself. Swallows. “Shit, you’re gonna think I’m an idiot.”“What? No, Chris. Just tell me.”Chris shakes his head, clearly annoyed with himself. “Fuck, I am. I am an idiot, but… It’s just that I kind of want my first experience, my first proper kiss with a guy, I mean, to be real. You know? Just… two people, choosing to kiss each other because they want to, not because a script says so.” He looks so honest, open and almost pleading. “Does that make any sense?”“Of course,” Sebastian says immediately, feeling stupid for not realizing the same thing sooner. It means he’s going to miss out on the chance to kiss Chris tonight, which is honestly kind of devastating, but if they do end up doing this play together, he’ll get plenty of opportunities to do that in the future. And that’s something he can’t think too hard about right now, or he’ll most likely embarrass himself. Severely. “Of course, Chris, that makes perfect sense. I completely get that.”Chris smiles sweetly. “Ok. Alright. Thanks for understanding.”“Anytime,” Sebastian smiles back. “So, just let me know when you’re ready, I guess. Once you have the personal experience you’re looking for, I mean, and you want to start working on getting this project off the ground.”“Oh,” Chris says, his eyebrows drawing together into a frown. “Sure, yeah. Or, I mean…”“Yeah?”“Well, I was kind of thinking – hoping, maybe…”Sebastian holds his breath. “Maybe… what?”Something like resolve steals across Chris’s face. “Look, I swear I don’t mean to pressure you or guilt you into anything here.” He takes a breath, catching Sebastian’s gaze and holding it. “But. I was wondering if maybe you’d want to… I don't know, help me out? With this?”Sebastian stares at him. “You mean..?”“Yeah,” Chris says, with a quick nod. “If you’d like to. Only if you’d like to. I completely understand if not, believe me.”Sebastian's brain shorts out completely at the request, failing to make sense of it. “But,” he says, thoroughly confused now, “you just said you wanted to have your first experience to be real, with someone you're attracted to.”Chris averts his gaze, looking at the ground for a couple of nerve-racking seconds. “Well, yeah,” he says finally, and then he lifts his head and looks Sebastian dead in the eye.Sebastian's heart stops beating for a moment, before starting back up in double time. He hardly dares to believe he's understanding this correctly, but there’s really no mistaking that look Chris is giving him.Holy fucking shit.“Oh,” he says, eloquently.Chris, not breaking eye contact, bites his bottom lip and Sebastian’s eyes helplessly drop down to watch those perfect, straight teeth sink into the plump flesh. He swallows hard, his skin tingling.“I – ok,” Sebastian breathes, a little shaky. “Yeah, alright. I’m – I want. I want to help you with this.”Chris smiles then, his bottom lip slipping out from between his teeth, the color slowly returning to it until it looks even redder and more tempting than before.Oh, god.“Yeah? You sure?” Chris is bouncing his knee; a nervous gesture. While Sebastian feels for him, he's secretly glad he's not the only one who's feeling a little out of his depth. Sebastian nods, a little too firmly. “I am. I – yeah.” He swallows hard. “So, uh, how do you want to do this?”“Um. I think I might need a little while to work up to it,” Chris confesses, rubbing his palms up and down his thighs. “Is that ok?”“Of course. As in, some other time, or..?”“No,” Chris says quickly. “No, I just mean, I’m afraid that if I try to kiss you right now, after all this talking about it, I might… I don’t know. Mess it up. Or chicken out.” He quirks a smile. “I think I need it to happen a little more organically, you know?”Sebastian nods again, pretending to be cool about Chris talking about kissing him. “Tell you what. Why don’t we just go about our business, clean up the pizza stuff and make some more tea or whatever, and then maybe we can put on a movie, and you can just… let me know when you’re ready?” Sebastian can’t stop the tiny giggle that escapes him at the absurdity of the situation. “Or you can just go for it, of course. That's fine too. I’m hereby giving you permission to kiss me whenever the urge strikes.”Chris laughs, hiding his face in his hands. “Oh my god. Alright, thank you. Man, I’m sorry for making this more difficult than it needs to be, Seb. I’m just… I’ve spent so long theorizing and thinking about this that it feels like a pretty big step to finally be putting all that thought into practice, y’know?”“Hey, it’s fine, I promise. I get it. We can totally do this at your pace. And, uh.” Sebastian runs a hand through his hair, shooting Chris a crooked smile. “I’m kind of honored, you know. That you’d wanna do this with me.”“Yeah?” Chris looks so hopeful, it makes Sebastian’s heart stutter in his chest. “Yeah, Chris. I –” Sebastian closes his mouth, clenching his jaw before he reveals too much. “Well, let’s just say it’s not exactly a hardship for me either.”They look at each other for a prolonged moment, something like electricity crackling in the air between them, before they both laugh again and the moment is broken. By mutual unspoken agreement, they get up and start tidying up Sebastian’s living room. Somehow, Sebastian has the presence of mind to put on some music; one of his personal playlists with nice and easy songs. He’ll never admit it, but half the songs on this list remind him of Chris for some reason or other. It feels appropriate to put it on now, and Sebastian is quietly pleased with Chris’s response to it. He’s humming and singing along, complimenting Sebastian on his choices, and they work companionably, the earlier charged atmosphere morphing into something a little easier, more relaxed.Because Chris insists they might as well get it done now instead of letting Sebastian’s dishwasher do the dirty work at a later time, Sebastian washes the couple plates and mugs they’ve used, plus some things that were leftover from the last time he was home, while Chris dries and puts them away. Sebastian doesn’t mind the effort; he’s just grateful for anything that helps him keep his mind off what's probably about to happen. What could happen anytime now, really, as soon as Chris builds up the courage. Sebastian closes his eyes, breathing down the flurry of butterflies in his stomach.When Your Silent Face by New Order fades out and the next song comes on, they both gasp.“Oh, I love this one.”“It’s a tune,” Sebastian agrees, grinning at Chris. He doesn’t say he put this one on the playlist specifically because he remembers seeing Chris sing it in a movie once, or that he can’t hear it without thinking of him now.“Just a small town girl, livin' in a lonely world,” they belt out together, both a little off-key and neither of them giving a damn. “She took the midnight train going anywheeeeeeere.”Sebastian mimes holding a microphone in front of his own face, improvising as he sings, “Just a city boy, born and raised in ol’ New York,” before holding the pretend mic up to Chris’s face for the next bit.“He took the midnight train going anywheeeere,” Chris finishes, with the kind of conviction typically reserved for wedding afterparties.For a minute, they grin widely at each other, all thoughts of anything but this perfect, joyful moment forgotten.And then, from one moment to the next, something shifts.Sebastian feels it before he sees it; Chris's attention sharpening, becoming focused, homing in on him. The laughter in Chris's eyes morphing into something more charged; a look Sebastian has seen before but never thought he’d ever see directed at himself. It’s a heady feeling. One that makes Sebastian’s breath hitch and his eyes widen, a deer-in-the-headlights feeling pinning him in place. Chris is closer, suddenly, encroaching on Sebastian’s personal space like he belongs there. Something hot and anticipatory slithers down his spine the longer Chris watches him with that look on his face, his gaze flitting between Sebastian’s lips and his eyes, like he just can’t decide where to look.Sebastian doesn’t even realize Chris has backed him up until he bumps into the kitchen counter, and then suddenly, Chris is even closer. Sebastian can barely even hear the music anymore over his heart pounding in his ears and his own quickened breathing. It’s like it happens in slow motion; the way Chris deliberately raises his right hand and brings it up to Sebastian’s face. The moment Chris’s fingertips connect with his skin, Sebastian shivers, eyes fluttering closed of their own accord and his lips parting to let out a shaky breath. Carefully, so carefully, Chris cradles Sebastian’s jaw in his palm, thumb stroking lightly across his cheekbone. Sebastian can’t help himself; he turns his face into Chris’s hand, nuzzling his palm, lips brushing the lightly calloused skin.Chris exhales shakily, and then he’s turning Sebastian’s face forward, his grip gentle but commanding. There’s a beat in which they just look at each other, on the cusp of something they both seem to know there’s no turning back from, before Chris finally leans in.The moment their lips meet, Sebastian makes a sound, something soft and wanting, the sensation of Chris’s soft mouth on his enough to make his head spin and his knees wobble dangerously. He kisses back without even thinking about it, like it’s the most natural thing in the world instead of the most incandescent and toe-curling. Chris’s left hand settles on Sebastian’s hip, holding him securely but not squeezing. His right hand is warm on Sebastian’s face, keeping him right where he wants him, and his mouth is hot and insistent, claiming Sebastian’s lips for its own. The kiss doesn’t deepen immediately. Not until Sebastian shifts and presses closer to Chris, bringing more of their bodies in contact with each other. The unconscious movement acts as a catalyst; the sign Chris had seemingly been waiting for. With a harsh sigh, he pushes back, effectively pressing Sebastian up against the kitchen counter. Something hot and liquid sweeps through Sebastian's body, head to toe, his mouth opening on a gasp. Chris hums as he licks into it, slow but intentional. Sebastian is on fire, a red-hot stab of desire lancing through him, making him forget that he probably should be trying to keep himself in check at least a little bit.What was tentative before suddenly turns a hell of a lot more urgent, both of them simultaneously seeming to shuck whatever inhibitions had been holding them back until now. With another low sound, Chris kisses him harder, teeth grazing at lips and fingers digging into Sebastian’s neck possessively. The thought that they might bruise him, leave marks on him, makes Sebastian moan, makes him want to surrender and give himself over to the kiss. He opens his mouth wider, meeting Chris's hot tongue with eager swipes of his own. Chris’s beard is bristly but soft, the way it catches on Sebastian’s own stubble only adding to the sensory overload Sebastian is struggling to process. He whimpers when he notices Chris pushing against him much more insistently now, his big, hot body caging him in and keeping him steady, pressing all of Sebastian’s buttons at the same time. Chris bites at Sebastian’s bottom lip, not hard, but just hard enough to sting. Sebastian is helpless to stop the way hips buck at that, a shocked little sound escaping him when he finds an answering hardness where their lower halves meet.With a groan that’s almost a growl, Chris thrusts back against him just once at the same time his tongue thrusts into Sebastian’s mouth, before he steps back abruptly, his hands falling away from Sebastian’s body, leaving him feeling disoriented and strangely bereft.Breathing hard, Sebastian licks his lips as he tries to collect himself, running a shaky hand through his hair. Chris is in a similar state, his chest heaving, hands clenching and unclenching at his sides before he brings his right hand up to his face, briefly covering his mouth as if in disbelief.Their eyes lock for a moment, both of them reeling because of what just transpired between them.“Well,” Sebastian says eventually, his voice low with lingering arousal. “How, um. Was that. Ok?”Chris huffs out an unsteady laugh. “Ah, yeah. That was… Fuck.”Sebastian lets out a weak laugh of his own. He takes a deep breath and then exhales slowly, trying to pull himself together while giving Chris a surreptitious once-over. Chris looks a little shaken, a little taken aback, but otherwise alright. His mouth , though. Well, the less said about that reddened, thoroughly kissed mouth the better, lest Sebastian’s half chub turns into a full-blown boner after all. “You okay?” he makes himself ask, just to be sure.Chris nods, giving him a crooked little smile. “Yeah, I – I’m fine. Was just… getting a little carried away, so I thought I’d better hit the brakes before… Well, you know.”Christ.“Yeah,” Sebastian says. “That’s – that makes sense.” It’s not very articulate, but he’s honestly proud of himself for producing words in the general shape of a sentence right now. “So. Movie?”“Movie,” Chris agrees, nodding maybe a little too enthusiastically.They retreat back into the living room, neither of them mentioning the time – it’s already nearing nine p.m. – or raising the question of when Chris is going to head home, or if he is at all. It’s as though they’re both pretending the outside world doesn’t exist, happy to continue in this little bubble they’ve inadvertently created inside Sebastian’s central NYC apartment.Sebastian turns on his TV and finds Netflix on autopilot, pausing on the first thing in his queue and turning to Chris. “This ok?”Chris blinks, apparently startled out of his thoughts, and looks at the screen. “Uh, yeah. Yeah, that’s fine.”It’s some movie or other Sebastian had been meaning to watch for a while, but even before he hits play, he knows he’s not going to really see any of it. His mind is still spinning, reeling from that kiss. That sudden, mind-blowing kiss, which both confirmed everything he ever suspected about what kissing Chris would be like and also surpassed each and every one of his expectations. Which is honestly so incredibly problematic when he thinks about it, but Sebastian is pointedly not doing that right now. Instead, he thinks about the way Chris’s fingertips had dug into his hip and his neck – he can still feel the phantom of that claiming touch, burning him up from the inside. About the way Chris’s lush lips had felt, pressed against his own, hot and purposeful enough to leave Sebastian’s lips tingling even now. He doesn’t realize he’s brought his hand to his own face, wonderingly touching his lips with his fingertips, until there’s a low sound to his left. He turns his head to find Chris watching him intently, his gaze laser-focused on Sebastian’s mouth, looking like he’s thinking very hard about ravishing it some more.Sebastian swallows. Unconsciously licks his lips.“Fuck,” Chris breathes, and the next thing he knows, Chris is grabbing the front of Sebastian's hoodie and pulling him closer. His eyes dart across his face for a moment before he swears again, softly but emphatically, and closes the distance between them. Their mouths clash together, inelegantly but eagerly, Sebastian parting his lips immediately. Chris responds with gusto, groaning into Sebastian’s mouth and dragging him even closer, almost into his lap. It's not just kissing now; it's full-on making out, with bumping noses, nipping teeth and grabby hands. The angle is no good, though, or maybe Sebastian’s couch is too small, but whatever it is, Sebastian huffs in frustration after a minute or two, decides fuck it , and proceeds to climb fully into Chris’s lap, straddling his thighs.“Oh god,” Chris breathes, leaning his head back a little to look up at Sebastian in wide-eyed awe.“Ok?” Sebastian asks, just in case.“Yeah. Really ok.”“Mind if I take this off?” He tugs at his hoodie, which is quite frankly smothering him right now, his skin still feeling like it’s on fire.“Are you kiddin’ me?” Chris asks disbelievingly.Sebastian flashes him a sharp grin and tugs down the zipper, shucking off the offending garment to reveal the white, gauzy tank top underneath. “Shit.” Chris’s gaze drags across Sebastian’s torso, eagerly taking him in. “You look so good, Seb.”Sebastian ducks his head, hiding a pleased smile. “Thanks. You can touch me, if you want.”Chris’s eyes find his, and they're dark, blazing with something unnamable. He reaches up and slides his fingers into Sebastian’s hair, tightening his grip just enough to make Sebastian’s mouth drop open a little and his eyes flutter.“Yeah, I want,” Chris whispers back, before he pulls him down, meeting his mouth in another scorching hot kiss. This one is dirtier, wet and a little messy, turning deeper the more Sebastian rolls his hips, grinding down in Chris's lap. Where earlier, Chris had backed up when things got a little hot and heavy, now he’s welcoming it, rocking his hips up to meet Sebastian’s. His free hand roams across Sebastian’s back, sometimes squeezing his shoulder and then slipping under the hem of his tank, stroking his lower back, palm hot like a brand on Sebastian’s already overheated skin. Sebastian’s hands have come to rest on Chris’s shoulders, straying down to curve around the swell of one of his pecs, reveling in the firm feel of it when he gives it a light squeeze. Feeling daring, he rubs his thumb deliberately over Chris's nipple through the fabric, coaxing it into hardness.“Fuck,” Chris murmurs against Sebastian’s lips, hips jerking up. “What are you doing to me, Sebastian?”The words cause Sebastian to moan Chris’s name softly, nibbling on that full lower lip as he rolls his hips down once again, thrilling at the hardness he finds there. Jesus. At this rate, he’s not going to survive the next ten minutes, let alone the whole night.The hand in Sebastian’s hair tightens, Chris using his grip to pull Sebastian’s head back and bare his throat, which he wastes no time in attaching his lips to. Sebastian groans at the contrasting sensations of soft lips and bristly beard on the sensitive skin, tilting his head further back as his eyes close of their own volition.“You smell so good,” Chris rumbles, nosing a spot just below Sebastian’s jaw. He follows it up with his tongue, licking a wet path along his throat, from his Adam's apple to the sensitive patch of skin behind his ear. He makes a pleased sound. “Taste even better.”“Oh my god,” Sebastian breathes, his fingers tightening on Chris’s shoulders in a way that must be almost painful. He feels lightheaded with want, near crazy with it, with Chris. He can’t handle any of this and at the same time needs it, more than anything. And then suddenly, a thought crosses his mind that strikes him like lightning, leaving him smoldering in its wake. Not pausing to think about it too hard, he pulls back just enough to be able to gaze down at Chris. They look at each other, both of them breathing hard.“Chris,” Sebastian says, unable to suppress the urgency in his voice.Chris reaches up to stroke Sebastian's hair back from his face. “Yeah, sweetheart?”“Can I suck you off?”Chris makes a choked-off sound, his pupils dilating visibly. “Jesus.” Chris's gaze is dark and hot where it’s fixed on Sebastian’s face; his mouth in particular. “You want to?”“Yes,” Sebastian sighs, butting his forehead against Chris’s for a moment. “Really, really want to."“Damn.” Chris squeezes Sebastian’s waist with both hands. “Okay. Yes. If you’re sure.”“Only if you want me to.”“Oh, I want you to. Want your mouth on me, Sebastian. Fuck. And, just so you know – I’m clean. Got tested pretty recently.”That’s all the encouragement Sebastian needs before he’s scrambling off Chris's lap, sinking to the floor in front of him. Once he's bracketed between Chris’s thighs, he reaches up with both hands, running his left slowly up Chris’s thigh, the muscle tense under his touch. The other hand drifts higher, curving around the shape of Chris’s erection through his jeans and giving it a teasing squeeze.Chris groans, pressing his hips into Sebastian’s hand, silently asking for more.Emboldened, Sebastian opens Chris’s belt with both hands before tugging it free from the loops and discarding it on the floor beside him. Chris’s eyes follow his every move, dark and intent; like a predator watching his prey, though in this case, one that's completely at Sebastian's mercy. Next, Sebastian opens the top button and then slowly pulls down the zipper. He pauses to consider the pretty picture that emerges, of Chris's erection straining the black fabric of his briefs, a wet patch forming near the waistband already. Sebastian licks his lips. He runs a teasing fingertip over the swell of it, and the sharp breath Chris takes at even the light touch is enough to make Sebastian suddenly even more impatient. Grabbing the waistband of Chris’s jeans, he urges Chris to lift his hips so he can lower them. Once they're gone and Chris is down to just his underwear, Sebastian ducks his head, nuzzling Chris’s erection and running his lips along the length of it; an open-mouthed caress.“Shit,” Chris exhales, his hands bunched into fists at his sides.Sebastian inhales deeply. Chris smells incredible, clean and manly, slightly musky with arousal. It's that tantalizing smell of Chris's skin he'd craved earlier but dialed up to eleven, sending Sebastian’s head spinning. But just smelling him isn’t enough. He needs to taste him too, needs it more than he needs air and he needs it now. He starts to tug impatiently on the elastic of Chris’s shorts, narrowly remembering to lift it up and over Chris’s erection before he's yanking them down and finally freeing Chris’s cock.And that cock… Sebastian’s mouth instantly waters at the sight of it. “Oh, fuck,” he mutters, riveted, transfixed. It’s big – bigger even than he expected, based on what he’d gauged from that unfortunate camera roll leak a few years back, which Sebastian had tried and failed to resist the temptation of looking up when he'd heard the news. That has been an interesting day. Chris is thick, his girth considerable, but he’s plenty long too, so hard and fat and glistening wet at the head, and Jesus fucking Christ, Sebastian needs to get his mouth on it yesterday.With a desperate little sound that would be embarrassing if he had any brain cells left to care about it, Sebastian takes Chris in hand and ducks down, immediately sliding his mouth over the leaking tip and swirling his tongue around it to lap up the salty-bitter moisture.“Fuck,” Chris gasps, his hand flying to Sebastian’s head and grabbing onto his hair, hard. “Oh Christ, that's – feels incredible. Fuck, baby, your mouth… Oh my god.”Sebastian hums, low in his throat, Chris’s cock on his tongue a satisfying, heavy weight that his lips are forced to stretch around in order to accommodate the girth. He starts to bob his head, his own cock throbbing in his sweats simply due to the sensation of Chris in his mouth, Chris's hand a tight, anchoring grip in Sebastian’s hair. It’s easy to find a rhythm, easier than Sebastian expected, considering how long it’s been since he’s done this, but he finds that it’s just like riding a bike – albeit a really sexy, outrageously hot bike with a great dick. Chris’s pleased moans and encouraging whispers are spurring Sebastian on, making him decide to be a little more adventurous and take Chris a little deeper. He breathes through his nose, focusing on relaxing his throat as he lets the head of Chris’s cock bump against the back of it. He stays there for a moment, relishing the stretch and the delicious strain on his airways, before he comes back up, gasping in a breath. He’s getting Chris all messy with his saliva, but Chris doesn’t seem to mind. In fact, Chris is cursing, his head thrown back and his eyes squeezed shut tightly.“Sebastian, fuck –” Chris sounds wrecked already, like he’s on the verge of falling apart, and suddenly, that’s all Sebastian can think about. He wants Chris to come undone at his hands, his mouth, he wants him to lose control and use Sebastian to chase that release he’s clearly so close to finding.Sebastian gives Chris another hard suck and then pulls off, panting from both the effort and arousal. “Chris,” he moans wetly, Chris's taste on his tongue, his smell in his nose. It's so much, so good. He swallows him down again a moment later, licking and sucking with verve and stroking with his hand what he can’t fit in his mouth.“Oh, fuck. Oh, shit.” Chris’s left hand joins his right on Sebastian’s head, fingers threading into the strands and holding on tightly, almost keeping him in place. Sebastian wants him to, wants Chris to fuck up into his mouth, use him, ruin him, but he’s got just enough presence of mind left to know he shouldn’t be asking for everything, not right away, not tonight. He fervently hopes this won’t be the last time they do this, thinks he might die if it is, but there’s a spark of hope in his chest that tells him they’ll be doing this again. Next time, Sebastian thinks, willing it into the universe.For now, he focuses on giving Chris the blowjob of a lifetime, something to remember and make him want to come back for more. Sebastian suckles on the swollen head of Chris’s dick, teasing out another satisfying dribble of precome, his left hand sliding lower to cup Chris’s balls in his palm and fondle them. They’re full and tight in his grip, clearly ready for release, and by the sounds of his labored breathing and muttered curses, so is every other part of Chris.Suddenly, Chris gives a sharp tug on Sebastian’s hair. “Gonna come, if you keep – ah- oh fuck.”Moaning, Sebastian doubles his efforts, cheeks hollowing out on every other suck. Chris almost keens, his hips snapping up once into the heat of Sebastian’s mouth, his breath hitching audibly, and then he’s coming, groaning low and drawn-out as his cock twitches and spurts onto Sebastian’s tongue.Sebastian goes wild with it, the idea of Chris coming in his mouth, staking his claim on him. Even as he’s swallowing, Sebastian is shoving his hand into his sweats and jerking roughly on his own poor, neglected cock for a few embarrassingly brief moments before he tips over the edge as well. All of his senses are filled with Chris as he shoots off inside his pants, the pleasure sharp and toe-curlingly good.The moment his vision clears, he lets Chris fall from his mouth, resting his head on Chris’s thigh and panting like he just ran a marathon.“Did you just –" Chris asks weakly, petting Sebastian’s hair.“Yeah,” Sebastian croaks. “Sorry. Couldn’t – too hot.”“Don’t – don’t apologize. That’s… fucking amazing. You’re fucking amazing.” Chris huffs out a dazed, disbelieving laugh. “Jesus Christ, Sebastian.”The next thing Sebastian knows, he’s being hauled up by the shoulders, Chris’s strong hands pulling him back onto the couch. He maneuvers them this way and that until they’re both stretched out, Sebastian’s head resting on Chris’s chest, tucked under Chris’s chin, with one leg pulled half over Chris’s thighs and Chris’s arms wrapped securely around Sebastian’s shoulders. Sebastian hums contentedly, burying his face in Chris’s sternum. “This’s nice.”“You’re nice,” Chris says, somewhat nonsensically, but then they did both just come their brains out, so Sebastian figures neither of them particularly cares about making sense right now. Chris blows out a slow breath. “I can’t believe…” He looks down at Sebastian wonderingly, lifting a hand and tracing Sebastian’s swollen lips with the pad of his thumb. “Goddamn. I thought about this mouth, I figured… But it’s so much better.”Sebastian just hums, a pleased sound, his mind pleasantly, post-orgasmically hazy, happy to let Chris continue to dazedly wax poetic about his mouth. More on instinct than anything, he parts his lips and sucks Chris’s thumb inside, sucking on it lightly. Chris exhales noisily and grabs hold of Sebastian’s jaw, pulling his thumb from his mouth just to tug him up and claim Sebastian’s mouth in a hot, lazy kiss. They kiss like that for an undetermined amount of time, long enough for Sebastian’s eyes to grow heavy, the travel and the day's events finally catching up with him.“You fallin’ asleep on me, honey?”Sebastian hums, almost a purr.Chris chuckles; a low, happy sound that Sebastian feels the rumble of under his cheek.“You stayin’ the night?” Sebastian manages to ask, sleepily blinking up at Chris.“If that’s ok?”“More’n ok,” Sebastian mutters, hiding a yawn in Chris’s chest. “Let’s go to bed. ‘S comfier.”“Whatever you want,” Chris agrees, sounding amused. He presses a kiss to the top of Sebastian’s head. “Hey, and thank you.”“For what?”Chris shrugs. “For being patient with me. For confirming my suspicions.”“Well,” Sebastian smirks lazily, “I can honestly say it was my pleasure.”Chris hums, low and dark. “It really was, wasn’t it? Goddamn. ‘S so hot, Seb, how much you loved doin’ that. You're incredible, you know that?”Sebastian lets his lips brush the skin of Chris’s neck, just below the line of his beard, and whispers, “Wait ‘til you see how much I love getting fucked.”Chris’s entire body tenses up at that, and for a moment, Sebastian thinks he’s gone too far. Run his stupid, come-drunk mouth and ruined everything –But then Chris breathes out a heartfelt, “Fuck,” and Sebastian can relax again.“You’d let me do that?” Chris asks, sounding a little awed and a lot turned on.“Anything you want,” Sebastian answers frankly,  nuzzling Chris’s throat. “I’m serious. You've got blanket permission to do whatever you want to me.”“Oh my god,” Chris groans, tightening his arms around Sebastian almost painfully. “Oh my god. I think my dick might need a minute, but otherwise…”“How about…” Sebastian starts, using the last of his strength and willpower to push himself up and into standing position, holding out his hand to pull Chris up too. They’re more or less of a height, which means that Sebastian only has to lean in close to whisper the rest against Chris’s lips – “...we go to bed, take a little nap, and whenever you’re ready, you can wake me up for it. Anytime you want it, I'll be waiting.”Chris is breathing hard now, nearly panting for it, and Sebastian feels high on the fact that he can do this to Chris. Chris wants him. Wants him bad, and that's great, that's amazing for both of them, because Sebastian is planning on giving him everything he wants.“Yeah?” Chris asks, gaze hot enough to burn. “Want my cock again already, sweetheart? Can't get enough?”  Never, Sebastian thinks. He'll never get enough of Chris, he's as sure of that as he is of anything. “Please,” he sighs, mouthing at Chris's beard.Chris hums, leaning in close. “You gonna let me put it in you, Sebastian?”Sebastian moans, a completely involuntary sound. God. He aches with how much he wants that. “Yes,” he says, almost whines, his dick already starting to fill up again at the prospect. “Please.”Chris groans so low it’s almost a growl, and the next thing Sebastian knows, he’s being dragged in the direction of the hallway. “My dick changed its mind,” Chris tells him. “We’re doin’ this now.”“Oh, thank fuck,” Sebastian breathes, suddenly wide awake again. Once they pass the threshold of his bedroom, he hits the lightswitch for the ambient light in passing and spares a moment to be grateful to his past self for making the bed before he left. Chris kneels on the mattress, still holding on to Sebastian’s arm, until Sebastian stops him.“Wait, Chris.” “What?” Chris asks, dropping his hand as if burned. “Too fast?” “No, no. I just –” Sebastian gives a meaningful nod at the ensuite. “I need a couple of minutes. I’ll make it quick, I promise.“Right,” Chris nods. “Yeah, of course. Take all the time you need.” Then he pulls Sebastian in for a searing kiss and adds, “But hurry.”Sebastian laughs, a light feeling expanding in his chest as he retreats into the bathroom. He’s efficient about it, prepping himself quickly but thoroughly. He figures it’ll be easier for Chris’s first time with a guy if this part is already mostly taken care of, but he doesn't want to keep Chris waiting too long. Honestly, at this point, he doesn’t think he can wait much longer either.When he walks back into the bedroom, now wearing just his briefs, Sebastian stops dead in his tracks, a choked-off sound escaping him.Chris is lying on the bed – your bed, Sebastian’s brain reminds him helpfully –  and he’s completely, gloriously naked. Sebastian’s gaze hungrily roams across Chris’s spectacular body, from his broad shoulders and hairy chest to his toned stomach, all of it littered with black ink, some of which Sebastian knows about and some which is new to him. From Chris’s endearingly bare feet, which do something strange and soft to Sebastian’s chest, over muscled thighs and abs and finally landing on his rock-hard cock, which Chris is fisting lazily while he waits.“I’m dreaming,” Sebastian mutters, staring so hard he thinks his eyes may fall out. “I’m dreaming, right? This can’t be real.”“You’re not dreaming. But I like the implication that you’ve dreamed about me, like this.”“Oh baby,” Sebastian says, widening his eyes meaningfully, “you have no idea.”Chris raises an eyebrow. “So come and get it.” And Sebastian is sure, he’s sure that that shouldn’t sound as hot as it does, but goddamn. His half-hard dick gives an interested twitch, and Sebastian decides to waste no more time pondering metaphysics and instead scrambles onto the bed as fast as he can, draping himself on top of Chris and finding his mouth with his own.Chris hums into it, kissing him back with clear enthusiasm, bringing his arms up and around Sebastian’s torso. His hands roam across Sebastian’s back and shoulders, squeezing and groping as he goes.“Is it weird for you?” Sebastian asks, when he comes up for air. “The muscle, size, all that?” “It’s a little weird,” Chris admits, though his hands don’t stop their exploration of Sebastian’s body. “Or more like, I’m still getting used to it. But, uh. Mostly it’s just… hot.”Sebastian draws back to look at him, grinning. “You callin’ me hot?” “Oh, come on. You’re so hot, Sebastian.” Chris lifts a hand to Sebastian’s face, cupping his cheek as he gazes up at him. “Fucking gorgeous.”“Oh.” Sebastian ducks his head, burying his face in Chris’s neck again in an attempt to hide how much the words affect him.Chris just chuckles, his fingers scratching through Sebastian’s hair. “Yeah, you like that, huh? When people say nice things about you?” He coos softly. “I know, baby. No shame in that.”Sebastian, his face on fire, mutters something unintelligible into Chris’s clavicle.“What was that?”“I said,” Sebastian huffs, “it's even better when it’s you. Saying nice things about me, I mean.”Chris hums. “Well, that’s good, ‘cause I kinda like everything about you, you know.”Sebastian shivers, his eyes closing as he lifts his head, blindly searching for Chris’s lips again. They both sigh into it, the next couple of minutes lost to lazily making out, drifting in slow-burning arousal.Eventually, Chris’s hands tug on the hem of Sebastian’s briefs. “These’ve gotta go.”“Yeah,” Sebastian agrees, breathless, rolling off Chris and onto his back so he can shimmy off his underwear. Chris uses the opportunity to reverse their earlier positions, climbing on top of him and kissing him hard. When he grinds their erections together, they both groan.“Fuck, that feels good,” Chris breathes, the tendons in his neck tensing. “Didn’t really think it would.”“There’s a lotta things we can do that feel good, Chris.”Chris nuzzles at Sebastian's throat. “Hmm. Will you show me? Doesn’t have to be now, but sometime?”Sebastian’s lovesick heart swells at the implication that Chris wants to keep doing this with him. He swallows hard against the emotion rising in his throat. “Yeah.” He runs his fingers through Chris’s hair, a little too tenderly for the situation they're in. “I’d love to. But first,” he murmurs, “I need you to fuck me.”Chris groans loudly. “Jesus. Yeah. Whatever you need.” He lifts his head, glancing meaningfully at the bedside table. “You got anything in there you want me to grab?” “Lube, definitely. Condom if you want.” Sebastian licks his lips. “I got tested recently too, just so you know. Haven’t been with anyone since. But it’s up to you.”Chris's eyes darken. “You got a preference?” Sebastian shrugs. “I mean, it’s always better without, isn’t it? But I just want you to do whatever you’re comfortable with.”Chris doesn't reply, pushing himself up and off Sebastian. Reaching over to the bedside table, he opens the top drawer, takes out a bottle of KY jelly, then pushes it shut again. Sebastian lets out a shaky breath.When Chris suddenly chuckles, Sebastian raises a questioning eyebrow.Chris shakes his head. “I'm just thinking about how everyone was always trying to get you to say the word ‘lube’, when we were doing press together a couple years ago.”Sebastian groans. “Don't remind me. That joke got so out of hand, people were bringing me bottles of KY at meet and greets.”“I remember,” Chris grins, squirting some on his fingers before tossing the bottle on the mattress. “I also remember having a lot of thoughts involving you and lube even back then.”Sebastian licks his lips. “You should've said. We could've gotten a lotta use out of all that free lube.”“Guess we better make up for it now then, huh?” Lying down again, Chris props himself up on his side next to Sebastian, who’s still lying on his back. “Spread your legs a bit,” Chris orders softly. Sebastian very nearly whimpers, but does as he’s told, propping one leg up on the mattress and then bending it outward, opening himself up to Chris. “Perfect. Ok if I touch you?” “Yeah. Yes, please.”“So polite,” Chris smiles, bending down to kiss him. Meanwhile, he slides a hand between Sebastian’s legs and trails slippery fingers up his taint. They dip between his cheeks, fingertips gently circling his rim and then pressing against it, testing. Sebastian jolts. “Oh,” he breathes, closing his eyes.“Still ok?”“Yes.”“More?” “Yes.”Chris obliges, slowly pushing the tip of one finger inside of him. He curses softly when he realizes he meets no resistance and proceeds to add another finger, sliding it in next to the first. “Look at you,” Chris murmurs, gazing down at Sebastian with dark eyes, blazing with heat. “Takin’ my fingers, no problem. Want another one?”“Y-yeah.”Chris lines a third finger up next to the first two, making soothing noises as he pushes it in, this time with a little more effort. Sebastian makes a noise too, something he couldn't hold back if he tried, feeling full, perfectly vulnerable and safe in Chris's hands. Chris takes his time stretching Sebastian that final bit on his thick fingers, until he's sliding them in and out easily, occasionally rotating, knuckles catching on Sebastian’s rim. It's heavenly, and it's torture, and Sebastian has never been more ready.Echoing his thoughts, Chris rumbles, “You’re so ready for me, aren’t you?”Sebastian, who’s been unconsciously trying to fuck himself on Chris’s hand, nods quickly. “Please.”“Yeah. Yeah, I’ll give you what you need, sweetheart.” Sebastian winces when Chris carefully slides his fingers out before sitting up on his knees and pushing at Sebastian’s other leg to make him spread them further. Grabbing a pillow, Chris positions it under Sebastian’s lower back and then hooks his arms under both Sebastian’s knees, yanking him closer. Sebastian yelps at the display of strength. “Oh my god.”Chris’s grin is hot and a little feral, and Sebastian can’t wait for what else he's got in store for him.“Tell me if anything hurts,” Chris says, and Sebastian nods yes, but he knows he won’t. He’s pretty sure it will, considering Chris’s size, but he kinda likes it when it hurts a little.Chris takes himself in hand and lines up, inhaling deeply as if needing to focus. And then, finally, he places the thick, blunt head of his cock against Sebastian’s entrance. “Ready?”Sebastian nods. “Do it.”Chris starts to push in. It’s been long enough since Sebastian’s done this that he’s forgotten just how weird that initial stretch feels. The way this large, rigid intrusion feels pressing in, slowly stretching him wider and wider, to the point where he’s sure he can’t anymore, it won’t fit, it’s not possible – and that’s when the head slips in. From then on, it’s a little easier. Still, Chris’s cock feels huge entering him, large and imposing and hot, so hot, especially without a condom, and Sebastian makes himself breathe through it, through the sensation of being slowly filled up, fuller and fuller until Chris finally bottoms out. Chris is breathing hard by this point, muscles straining with the effort of making himself go slow, holding back, when Sebastian knows from experience all he wants is to slam in and take, blindly chasing the pleasure. He doesn’t. He’s being a perfect gentleman about it, giving Sebastian time to adjust and set the pace. Sebastian’s heart gives an involuntary, sentimental squeeze. God, he’s gone on this man.“You alright?” Chris asks, his voice strained just like his muscles.“Perfect,” Sebastian breathes. “Christ, you’re big.”Chris winces. “Sorry.” “‘S not a bad thing.”“Oh. Good.” Sebastian lets out a shaky giggle. “You can move, if you want.”Chris breathes out slowly, pulling back an inch or so before pushing back in. “Jesus Christ.”“Uh-huh,” Sebastian squeaks, his body spasming involuntarily around Chris’s cock, unsure as yet what to make of the intrusion.“How – you’re still so fucking tight, Seb, fuck.” Sebastian licks his lips, his voice slightly strained as he replies, “Guess you’ve gotta see if you can loosen me up, huh?” Chris growls, pulling back again before pushing back in, faster this time, causing them both to moan. “How d’you like it?” Chris asks, a little breathless. “Wanna make this good for you.”“You don't hafta – ‘s already, ah , so good. And this is for you too, you know.”“C’mon, tell me. Nice and slow? Fast and hard? What do you need?”“Just need to feel you,” Sebastian says truthfully. “Make me feel it, Chris.”Chris nods, his eyes roaming across Sebastian’s face. “Alright. Ok. I can do that.”The next time he thrusts forward, Chris stops holding back. He pulls almost all the way out before pushing back in deeply, driving into him again and again as he expertly fucks every last thought out of Sebastian's mind. There's no way Sebastian could hold back the sounds Chris forces out of him with every thrust, and it's not long before he’s moaning incessantly, eyes rolling back every time Chris sinks into him so deeply it's like he can feel it in his throat.Chris leans forward, hovering over him, his gaze focused on Sebastian’s face. Sebastian has no idea what his face is doing, and he’s pretty sure it’s nothing elegant, but Chris seems to like what he sees, so he’s not going to worry about it too much. Sebastian’s arms wrap around Chris’s neck, holding on tightly as Chris continues to fuck him into sweet oblivion. They’re both sweaty now, Chris’s skin smooth under Sebastian’s hands, the muscles bunching and contracting with every thrust. All Sebastian can smell now is Chris, that scent of his skin Sebastian missed so much enveloping him now, making his head spin and his cock drool eagerly. “Yeah,” Sebastian pants. He feels almost delirious, as though nothing is real except Chris, above him and inside him, and the desire burning in his veins. “C'mon, deeper. Please, I need – please .”Leaning back a little, Chris hooks a hand under Sebastian’s left knee and pushes it up, towards his chest. The switch in position causes him to slip out for a second, but he’s back a moment later, thick head pushing back in relentlessly. Sebastian gasps when Chris slides home, not going slow this time but shoving every inch of him inside in one smooth movement. “Oh, fuck,” Sebastian whimpers, tears leaking from the corners of his eyes. Chris is even deeper now, hot and hard and inescapable as he sinks in again and again. Using all that glorious core strength to fuck Sebastian so good, he knows he’s going to be feeling it for days. He shivers at the thought, the delicious anticipation of it.“That deep enough for you?” Chris grits out, a little out of breath now from the exertion. “God, baby, you feel – ungh – feel so fucking good.” “More,” Sebastian demands, grabbing Chris’s ass with both hands and yanking him even closer. The muscles clench under his palms with every thrust, and then Chris growls and picks up the pace, really drilling into him now, making the bed shake with it, the headboard rhythmically hitting the wall behind it.Sparing a fleeting thought for his poor neighbors, Sebastian shouts, clinging onto Chris for dear life. It's incendiary, the feeling of Chris's hot, hard length sliding in and out of him, filling him up to the brim over and over again. Taking him, owning him. “Fuck – fuck me, yes ,” he pants, incoherent with pleasure. “Yes, Chris, please.” Chris slides a hand into Sebastian’s hair, pulling sharply on the tresses to make Sebastian’s eyes roll back into his head. “Yeah. You like it a little rough, Seb?” He lifts himself up a bit so he can glance down between them, then swears softly. “Look at you. So hard and wet, makin’ a mess of us, aren’t ya? Yeah, you love this.”“Yeah. I love – ‘S so good, Chris. So good, oh .”Chris groans, shaking with effort now but not slowing down even a little bit. “Gonna come, baby, I’m sorry – I can’t –”“Do it,” Sebastian gasps, “‘m so close. I can come, can come like this.” And he can, he knows he can, with Chris’s big cock grazing his sweet spot on every other thrust and Sebastian’s leaking dick trapped between their stomachs.  “Oh my god,” Chris pants, eyes wild with his impending climax, “can I – in you…” “Fuck, yes, yes,” Sebastian urges, feeling desperate with it. “C'mon, do it, Chris, wanna feel you, ah –” A moment later, Chris’s whole body shudders, a broken moan falling from his lips and his face contorting with ecstasy as he starts to come. It’s the idea of it more than anything that makes Sebastian lose it too, a second after Chris – the knowledge that Chris is spilling his release deep inside of him, filling him up in the most intimate way possible, leaving a part of him behind, even if just for a little bit.Sebastian sobs as he releases too, his body spasming, contracting around Chris’s cock and causing him to moan brokenly as he shoots off between their trembling, sweaty bodies. It lasts much longer than he can remember ever experiencing before, and by the time his body finally relaxes, once his head stops spinning, Sebastian can honestly barely remember his own name. Jesus.“Yeah,” Chris agrees shakily, because apparently Sebastian said that out loud. “Oh, wow.”“I can’t,” Sebastian tries, but that’s as far as he gets. Chris is half-draped over him, holding most of his weight off of him. He hasn’t pulled out yet, and Sebastian doesn’t want him to.“Can’t –?” Chris prompts, after a minute.“Can’t feel my legs. Or my face.”Chris laughs silently. “Guess I did alright, then.”Sebastian makes a garbled noise. “Fuck you. You ruined me.” He means here, right now, but also for anyone else. He knows it’s true, but he also knows he shouldn’t tell Chris that. Not yet, maybe not ever. Depends where they go from here.Chris shifts slowly, carefully pulling out of Sebastian. Sebastian still hisses, but Chris distracts him by kissing him, and honestly, that helps. When Chris’s right hand drifts between Sebastian’s legs a moment later, though, Sebastian’s eyes widen, but he doesn’t protest. He does gasp quietly when Chris’s fingers touch his swollen rim, curious fingertips probing inside and coaxing out a rush of warm come. Oh. Guess Sebastian isn't the only one who gets off on that sort of thing.“Yeah,” Chris hums, a low, pleased rumble deep in his chest. “I really did ruin you, didn’t I?”Sebastian whimpers, arching up, oversensitive but still feeling needy. Chris pushes his left hand into Sebastian’s hair, gripping it tightly as he leans down to kiss him, deep and slow, while his fingers continue to play idly with his hole. It's bliss, pure and simple. Sebastian wants to stay like this forever, floating on endorphins and exhaustion, with Chris on top of him, Chris’s mouth on his, Chris’s fingers inside of him, just Chris, Chris, Chris, everywhere. Eventually though, once Sebastian starts drifting off for real, Chris pulls back, placing a final, lingering kiss on Sebastian’s lips before he moves to sit up. “Be right back,” he tells him, disappearing into Sebastian’s ensuite for a minute and returning with a warm, damp towel, which he uses to gently clean Sebastian up. Sebastian lets him, content to continue floating and drifting, letting Chris take care of him. Chris disposes of the towel and then brings over a glass of water that he makes Sebastian drink, before he grabs the covers and pulls them up over the both of them. After switching off the light on the bedside table, he burrows under the covers, curling himself around Sebastian and pulling him close, Sebastian’s back to Chris’s front. “Incredible,” Chris murmurs into Sebastian’s hair. “You’re incredible, Sebastian.”Sebastian lets out a deep, contented sigh, and cuddles closer to Chris’s. “‘M glad you're here,” he whispers sleepily. “Can you stay? Tomorrow, I mean? I just –”“Yeah.” There's a smile in Chris's voice. “Yeah, I can stay tomorrow. Dodger’s with my mom, so I got nowhere to be.” Sebastian sighs again. “Good. We can talk about the play some more. More sex too, if possible.”“Absolutely,” Chris agrees easily, pressing a kiss to Sebastian’s hair. “But first you need to sleep, sweetheart. Gonna need you healthy and rested for what I've got planned for you.”Sebastian nods, because that sounds like a great idea. “Kay. Night, Chris.” “Sweet dreams, Sebastian.”Even as Sebastian drifts off to sleep, he already can’t wait for tomorrow. Can't wait to wake up next to Chris and see what the future holds. The two of them, side by side, taking to the stage and showing the world what they're capable of together. Bring it on, Sebastian thinks, just before he’s out like a light.