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Dean didn’t remember getting shot. Maybe that was a good thing. He did remember Cas spinning around as Dean fell, Cas screaming in rage and killing whatever it was that shot him. He also remembered Cas’ shout to Sam, which brought Sam faster than he had ever run.
Dean didn’t see much after that. He could hear though. He could hear Cas begging him to stay awake and yelling at Sammy to drive faster. He could hear Sam muttering swears under his breath every time he looked to the back seat. Dean could hear the doors at the hospital slide open and several nurses jump and crowd the three of them.
Then there was nothing.
Then there was him. Cas walking into the lake, arms outstretched. Cas walking up the stairs oh his house that wasn’t really his. Cas washing his hands in a river. Standing outside a gas station watching him from afar. Cas stepping away from the glowing hole in the universe only to have a glowing hole in his chest. Dean saw all of the times he lost Cas, all the times they had lost each other, everything flying by, all a blur.
Then it stopped.
Sunshine hit Deans eyes. He knew this place. He knew these couches, he knew that kitchen, he knew that up the stairs that were on his left would lead up to two bedrooms. One that was empty, waiting for a certain kid to come home, and one that had a bed that was just made and a closet with clothes and nothing else. Dean stepped forward, grasping at the fibers of his memory as he found his way into the kitchen. There he was, his back turned from Dean, humming.
Dean opened his mouth but no sound came out. He watched as Cas reached up and grabbed two plates, down to the drawer to get two forks, and up again to retrieve two coffee cups. Then finally Cas turned around.
“Hello Dean” he said with that gummy smile, eyes crinkling at the corners.
Dean cleared his throat. “Hello… Cas.” Cas turned back the eggs he was cooking. “What is… this?”
“What do you mean?” Cas tilted his head, confused. “I’m making eggs and toast for breakfast. You were sleeping so I didn’t think I should wake you. I also had a… thing to get ready before you got up. Anyways, I’m almost done with the eggs if you want to get our coffees ready?” Dean was still standing in the doorway.
‘I remember this now.’ Deans brain finally caught up with why he was seeing. He grinned. ‘This is the morning you proposed.’ Dean entered the kitchen, walked behind Cas and grabbed his waist, pressing himself against Cas and resting his chin on Cas’ shoulder.
“Hi” Dean whispered. “Hello?” Cas whispered back. “Why are we whispering? And what are you doing?”
Dean shifted his face so that his lips could kiss Cas’ neck. “Nothin’. Just saying hi.” Cas grabbed Deans hand and held it against his stomach. “Well hello then.”
They stood for a moment, before Cas shoved him away as Dean started to drift his hand downwards. Dean was still grinning as he grabbed Cas’ sugary creamer and his own regular milk. By the time Dean was finished getting their coffees together Cas was finished with the eggs. They placed their respective items on the table and sat together. Dean finished first and rested his chin on his hand, watching Cas. Cas noticed his staring and winked suggestively.
Dean laughed and poked Cas in the ribs, “ok pervert.” Cas raised his hand to his chest in mock shock. “Me? Pervert? You’re the one who once tried to convince me to do the dishes by offering to sleep with me.”
Dean raised his own hand in mock shock “Well maybe if you weren’t looking at me with ‘fuck me eyes’ every moment since we met maybe I wouldn’t have fallen in love with you. It also doesn’t help that you’re really fucking hot.” Dean shrugged. “Not my fault man. That seems like your fault”
He stood and grabbed their plates but was pulled back down by Cas holding his forearm firmly.
“Dean… I love you…”
“Ok? I love you too, you know that man”
“You need to wake up Dean. Me and Sam… we need to you to wake up.” Cas’ grip on Deans arm tightened. Dean looked up at Cas’ eyes but something was wrong. They weren’t looking at him. They were full of tears, like he had seen something that wasn’t right, like he had seen his worst nightmare.
Dean blinked the drowsiness from his eyes, adjusting the florescent lights of the hospital room. Cas had folded his hands was resting his forehead against them. He was muttering some ancient prayer. Dean moved his head, looking around to figure out where they were. Cas took a shuddery inhale, sounding on the verge of tears and stopped the muttering.
Dean smiled, suddenly where he was didn’t matter. He lifted his hand and ran his fingers through Cas’ soft hair. He must’ve been stealing Sam’s conditioner again. Cas flinched at the touch and jerked his head up to look at Dean.
“That’s funny. Seeing an Angel praying. Wonder how many times that has ever happened.” Dean kept moving his fingers through Cas’ hair. Cas lifted his own hand to his mouth, eyes welling up with tears. “Hey, hey… I’m ok. Cas look at me.” Dean lifted Cas’ chin to look at him. “I’m ok. I’m fine sweetheart.”
Cas stood and shifted Dean over on the crappy hospital bed so he could curl up next to Dean. Dean pressed his face into Cas’ hair and took a deep breath. Cas started shaking, the tears started coming and they didn’t stop. Dean kept whispering reassurances to him, rubbing Cas’ arm.
Eventually Cas stopped shaking and the tears stopped coming and his breathing felt normal. Dean kissed his hair again, and sighed. “I was so scared. Your heart stopped twice.” Dean lifted his head and looked at Cas.
“When will you learn… nothings gonna stop me from coming back to you… nothin’ can take me from you. Not now, not ever.” Cas lifted his eyes, the circles under them were darker than they had been before the hunt. “How long was I out?” Dean asked softly.
“Four days.” Cas whispered. Dean felt his own eyes start to fill. “Oh honey… I’m so sorry.” Cas sniffed and shook his head. “S’not your fault. I couldn’t heal you, I don’t think I’ve ever felt this helpless…”
This time it was Dean that shook his head. “No it’s not your fault either. This is just what happens. Hunting is not safe. But I’m ok. We’re both ok.” Dean shifted his arms to wrap around Cas and he held him. Held him even as they both fell asleep. Even when a nurse came in and checked on Dean, gave him his meds, Dean held onto Cas.
The next morning Sam came by, bringing a new set of clothes for Cas, some of Deans favorite cassette tapes and a small container of bacon that he had snuck in. Claire (along with Jody) stopped by a few hours later and punched Dean right before hugging him and wiping away a tear in the hopes that neither Dean or Cas would see it. On day three of Dean being awake, day seven of his hospital stay, someone else came by.
Cas was asleep and Dean was watching over him, reading an old dusty book that Sam had brought when Dean started complaining about boredom. A tall lanky kid, with soft dark blonde curls and sky blue eyes. Dean didn’t notice him at first but then felt the mattress next to him sink down.
Dean started. “Jack! Jesus kid, give a guy some warning…” Dean looked back down to the book then started again. “Jack? Are you… are you really here?” Jack grinned and nodded. “Hey Dean.”
Cas woke to see Jack sitting cross legged on Deans hospital bed learning poker from a very happy looking Dean. Cas got up and drew both men’s attention. “Good afternoon sunshine.” Dean grinned at Cas, pulling him in and giving him a kiss. Jack made a short disgusted groan and Cas turned his attention back to him. Jack smiled and said “Hi dad, heard your prayer.”
Dean watched patiently as the two beings looked at each other. “I prayed to you three days ago what sort of time do you call this?”After a tense moment Cas smiled and reached over to hug Jacks shoulders. “Hello Jack. Welcome home.”