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The tick of the clock was almost painful, filling the empty void of space in the apartment. Tim simply stared at the landlord white walls, his eyes burning with tears. The void trapped in his chest threatened to consume him. His emancipation had been finalized two days ago, and it seemed like no one had even noticed. Cassie had helped him move into his new apartment the day before. She had to go back home not long after, leaving him alone.
It had become increasingly clear that Tim was no longer welcome in the Manor that used to be the closest thing to home. Maybe he never was. Maybe he was just a cuckoo in a robin’s nest. Maybe he deserved every broken bone, every stab wound, every cold shoulder. Resentment and despair bubbled in his chest like oily black tar that clung to his heart. He had lost so much, and yet he felt the eyes looking down on him in disdain when he cried. Why couldn’t he be stronger? Why couldn’t he just bear it with a smile like a Robin should?
There was a knock at the door.
Tim ignored it at first. It was probably just a too friendly neighbor wanting to make nice. The knocking only got more incessant from there. “Tim?” A familiar voice asked from beyond the door. Tim stared at the wall for a moment longer, before heaving a sigh. Every step to the door was more exhausting than the last. His feet felt like lead, and his shoulders felt like they carried the world.
Dick’s fake smile melted as he opened the door. “Oh, Tim,” He sighed, his voice drenched in pity.
“What do you want?” Tim said, his voice barely more than a whisper.
Dick stared at him for a moment before looking down at his feet. “Can I- um, can I come in? We need to talk.”
Tim just blinked at him for a moment. He slid out of the way, heading to the tiny kitchen. He needed more coffee. Dick followed after him, settling on one of the barstools at the island. “How have you been doing?” Dick asked. That stupid, plastic smile was back on his lips.
Tim gave him a flat look, leaning back on the counter across from him. “How the fuck do you think I’m doing, Dick?” Frustration curled in his throat, turning his words to acid. It was only the incessant sputtering of the coffee pot that kept him from hurling poisonous words at his brother. He didn’t
want
to hurt his family, not the way they hurt him.
By the time Tim turned around, Dick had at least managed to look contrite. Tim just slid a mug of coffee over before retreating back across the kitchen. He perched on the counter, watching Dick while cupping his own mug in his hands. Dick stared into the cup like it held the answers to life, the universe and everything. The silence stretched between them, but it wasn’t comfortable like it once would have been. It was heavy, and cloying, and made Tim sick to his stomach.
“I’m sorry.” Dick finally said like shattering glass.
Tim let the quiet stretch between them again. Tim knew he was a mess. He hadn’t showered in three days and he had somehow become even paler, not to mention the precarious tower of dishes in his sink. Looking closer, he could see the grief pooling in Dick’s eyes. It was almost a relief to know he wasn’t the only one struggling. This time though, it was almost like there was a chasm between them. One made of grief and longing and pain.
Bruce had died a week ago.
It had shaken their entire family to its core. Bruce had saved them all, in some way. Seeing Superman bring back that empty suit had torn them apart as easy as a photograph.
“Yeah,” Tim croaked, setting his kitschy mug on the counter beside him. “I am too.” He tried not to think about the other people he had lost in the past year. It just wasn’t fair, but life never was. Tim swallowed back the tears as he leaned his elbows on his knees. He knew bringing this up was dangerous, but he needed to know. “What are you going to do about Batman?”
Dick looked at him tiredly. He looked like he had aged ten years just being asked a question. “And what makes you think that’s my decision?”
Tim scoffed. “Whose else would it be?”
“I don’t want it.”
“Who else would take it, Dick? Jason certainly can’t do it, and Damian’s a child.”
“You could.”
Tim laughed. It wasn’t a happy sound. “I know you read the Titans mission reports. You know
exactly
why that’s a bad idea.”
Dick cringed at the memory. “Maybe we could ask Jace to take it up again?”
“Jace would punch you just for suggesting it.” And he would. As would the rest of the Fox family. Tim chugged the rest of his coffee. “C’mon, you’ve done it before.”
“Bruce wasn’t dead, then,” Dick snapped. He buried his face in his hands.
“I know,” Tim replied, “I was there, remember?” Being Dick’s Robin had been a dream come true, and then Bruce had gotten his implants and everything went back to normal. Tim still thought of those days fondly. “You’ve done it once, you can do it again. Bruce may not be here, but you’re not alone Dick.” If only he could say the same for himself.
Dick stood from his seat, coming around to sit next to Tim on the counter top. Tim couldn’t help but lean against his older brother, taking solace in his body heat. One moment stretched into two, this silence more like a comfortable blanket than an oppressive weight. It felt like the nights Nightwing and Robin would spend trainsurfing instead of working cases.
Dick took a deep breath, tilting his head to look at the ceiling. “If I’m going to do this, I’m going to need you to stay by my side.”
“Of course.” Tim would follow Dick to the ends of the earth, if he only asked. “Batman needs his Robin.”
“Yeah. He does,” Dick agreed, “But I think you could be much more than Robin.”
Tim looked at Dick out of the corner of his eye. “What do you mean?”
He could hear the wistful smile in Dick’s voice as he spoke. “Batman and Robin have always had this imbalance of power. Always Teacher and Student. A mentor and their protege. A father and his son. That’s not us, Timmy. It hasn’t been for a long time. Batman and Robin have never been equals. Not like you and I are. Not like Bruce and I became.”
Tim frowned. Who was he, without Robin? So much had happened to him in the colors, he wasn’t sure if he could let them go. Thoughts swirled in his head like a panicked tornado. “What are you saying?” He asked, numb.
Dick looked over to him, a glimmering look in his eye. “We could never be Batman and Robin, we love each other too much, but we could be Batman and Nightwing.”
Tim’s breath caught in his chest. “You can’t just trust me with that.”
“Of course I can,” Dick declared, wrapping his arm around Tim’s shoulders. “You’re my brother. Who else would I trust?”
Tim slipped off the counter, starting to pace. The linoleum was cold under his feet. “Nightwing was never meant to be a legacy, Dick. Why
me
? I was never chosen to be Robin, I stole it. How could I deserve this?”
“None of us were chosen, Tim. You know this.” Dick stood, catching Tim’s shoulders. They stared into each other’s eyes, ice meeting sapphire. “Even when B rejected you at every turn, you still fought for yourself. You’re my brother, Tim. I want you to be Nightwing because I fully, truly believe you’re the best of us. And besides, I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t think you were ready. ”
Staring into Dick’s eyes like this, he couldn’t hide a thing from Tim’s searching gaze. He truly believed it. Dick truly believed Tim could be Nightwing. Tim could hardly believe that this was even happening. Tim swallowed roughly.
“I… but what about Robin?” He was honored to be offered Nightwing, really, but Tim couldn’t help but cling to the one bit of normalcy he still had.
Dick considered for a moment. “I don’t know,” He admitted, “But we have time to figure that out. We both need to start training, and it wouldn’t be a good idea for three people in new roles going out at the same time anyway.”
Tim supposed Dick had a point. It wasn’t quite evening, but the day still weighed on Tim’s shoulders.
“So what do you say?” Dick asked with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.
It wasn’t a bad idea. Hell, a small part of Tim was jumping for joy that Dick was even offering. He missed being family, he missed being
home.
Being Nightwing would give him a reason to be at the manor. It would give him a reason to stay. That’s all he really wanted, a reason to stay.
The words slipped from his lips before he even thought to agree. “I’ll do it. We can do anything together, right?”
Dick smiled. He pulled Tim into a firm hug. “Thank you,” He whispered.
Tim clung back. He had missed his brother. He had felt adrift, like he was a ship lost at sea. But this? This was his anchor. This was his northern star guiding him home.
Tim pulled back, wiping at the tears on his cheeks. He ignored the matching streams on Dick’s face. He smiled, something he hadn’t done since Commissioner Gordon had called with the news. “Where do we start?”