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“This party has been planned for weeks, De. You can't just cancel at the last minute, Cas is really looking forward to you being there,” Sam said with a sigh as he spoke with his brother over the phone. “Yeah, well I guess he's gonna be disappointed,” Dean replied. He didn't want to bail on the party, really he'd love to be there. But he had some personal issues come up. Like- morning sickness for example. He told his friends and family that they didn't need to worry about him, because it was just a stomach bug and it'd go away. He wasn't sure how to tell them the truth. Mostly because he was still figuring out his feelings himself. Well and because he thought his boyfriend might react badly. “What do you want me to tell him then? That you still aren't feeling well? What stomach bug lasts over two weeks?” Sam asked. Dean tried to think of a good excuse but his mind just went completely blank for a moment and Sam's question was only met with silence. “Dean? You still there?” “Huh?” “Are you okay? You're scaring me,” Sam's tone changed he sounded genuinely worried and not annoyed anymore. “I'm fine,” Dean replied quickly. “I just don't feel up to going out.” “Right, I heard that. But Cas-” “I'll talk to Cas, okay? I'm just not in the mood to go out, why is this such a big deal?!” Dean snapped. Now he was the one met with silence as a response. He sighed, rubbing his eyes for a moment before speaking again. “Sammy, I'm sorry.” “I’ll tell Cas you're not coming,” Sam replied. “Get some rest.” Without another word, Sam hung up. Fuck Dean tried to hide his face in a pillow, while he pulled the covers up higher. Not that anyone would find him here, but he was very well hidden now. He didn't bother telling Sam that he'd already texted Cas. He knew it wouldn't matter Sam would still talk to Cas anyway, Cas was his best friend. He hadn't checked to see if Cas replied back about the party he'd only seen a few messages from other people. Charlie said if Dean was sick he was doing the right thing by staying away, because no one else wanted to be sick. Benny and Garth just asked if they should bring over some soup. They lived in the apartment a couple doors down from Dean and had already brought over some ginger ale a couple days ago and Benny drove Dean to the doctor the day he found out he was pregnant. Though Benny still had no idea.. because Dean told him nothing. Trying to be respectful over Dean's privacy Benny didn't ask. He only knew the important things like- Dean wasn't contagious. He started drifting off to sleep, he was tired all the time lately and rather than fight the sleep he figured right now he'd rather be asleep than awake to deal with his thoughts and disappointed friends. A half hour into his sleep though he was rudely awoken by the sound of the doorbell ringing. He tried to ignore it, but whoever was there was persistent and kept ringing it. Tiredly he got out of bed and made his way to the door. When he opened it, he found his brother standing there looking worried. He could tell based on the fact Sam was still dressed in a suit that he'd come straight from work. And Sam could tell by the messy hair, sweatpants and hoodie that Dean had just crawled out of bed. “Dude-” Sam didn't wait to be invited in, he just walked in, carefully pushing past Dean. “It must be bad if you're sleeping in the middle of the afternoon.” “Sammy, shouldn't you be getting ready for the party?” “Well yeah, but I think you should too. So I came to check up on you,” Sam replied. “How are you feeling? Do you have a fever?” Sam put his hand to Dean's forehead to see if he had a temperature. Dean immediately swatted Sam's hand away. “Dude, your hand isn't a thermometer and I don't have a fever.” Sam frowned. “You're a little warm though, but maybe it's from just getting out of bed.” He started to walk towards the bathroom to grab an actual thermometer. He didn't care if Dean thought he was being annoying. He was going to get to the bottom of this. Dean sighed as he went to sit on the couch. He knew he was screwed at this point, Sam wouldn't be leaving without answers. He curled up on the couch, while he listened to Sam digging through the bathroom looking for a thermometer and then all that noise suddenly came to a stop. He wasn't sure if this meant Sam found what he was looking for or if he's found something else. The silence dragged on for what seemed like an eternity before Sam emerged from the bathroom with an unreadable expression on his face. “De?” “What?” Dean replied, now starting to feel a bit anxious.“If you were pregnant, you would tell me, right?” “What?” Dean just stared at him like Sam was nuts. “I know sometimes the tests can be inaccurate. They can say positive when it's not really true or something. But uh- they're usually not wrong.” Dean just continued to stare at his brother like he was insane. He should have been able to easily just say yes he's pregnant. But the problem was he was still trying to wrap his mind around it himself. If he admitted the truth to Sam it would be the first time he'd ever said the words out loud and even after his appointment with the doctor he was still in denial. “Stop staring at me like that. I found a positive test in your trash and I just want to know if-” Fuck Dean looked away for a moment. This was supposed to be a happy announcement, right? Everyone was supposed to be excited. But why didn't it feel that way right now? Oh, because Dean was fucking terrified. “De-” Sam sat on the couch beside him. “What's going on?” He definitely wasn't crying now. No it was just something in his eye.. he wiped at his eyes. Damn hormones.. “De, you're scaring me.” “I- I'm pregnant,” he said quietly. “The test is real.. it's accurate. I went to the doctor a couple days ago and they confirmed it too.” Sam nodded. “But you're not happy?” He hesitated before he answered, “I don't know.” “You don't know?” Sam replied, his tone implying he was about to go on a rant possibly judging Dean, but he didn't really get the chance. “Yeah, I don't know. I'm not mad, okay? I've always wanted to have a family..if I found the right person to have a family with. Y'know when the time is right then I thought I'd be happy. I'm fucking terrified, Sam.” Sam stared at his brother, silent and waiting for him to continue. If Dean admitted to being scared that meant either the situation was bad or his hormones were just getting to him, right? Dean was never really one to be open about anything. Though, maybe this had been pent up for weeks and it was finally spilling out. “How long have you known?” Sam asked quietly. “A week. I started feeling sick a couple weeks ago, but I thought it would just go away. I figured it was some stomach bug. There was something going around at work and I figured I'd just caught it. I worked for as long as I could til it was bad enough I needed to take a couple days off. Cas came over a few times, but I sent him away, I didn't wanna get him sick too. I wasn't getting better though. Honestly it felt like I was getting worse. And certain smells and foods would trigger the nausea. I had to throw out all my bacon, Sam.” He shook his head. “Benny took me to the doctor a few days ago and I guess I've just been hiding here in denial ever since.” Sam nodded slowly. “And you weren't going to tell me? Does Benny know?” “No, Sam. No one knows. I- I didn't know what to say or how to say it.” “I mean most people would just call or have a special dinner to announce it. Not hide in their apartment and hope no one finds out. What are you so afraid of?” “Everything.” Sam rolled his eyes, what a great answer that was. “You don't understand.” “Then help me understand,” Sam replied, trying to be as patient as he possibly could. “I-” “Don't tell me you don't know or you can't tell me. I'm not leaving this apartment until you tell me everything. You always try to deal with everything alone, but you don't have to, Dean. You've got family and friends who care about you. Whatever you're dealing with, we're here to help. I'm your brother, you can come to me with anything. I swear, I will do whatever I can to help you. But you just gotta tell me whatever it is you're not telling me. Maybe start with who the other parent is?” Dean swallowed hard. “Cas,” he said quietly, more tears starting to fill his eyes. He quickly wiped at them. “Wh-what?” “The other dad is Cas,” Dean said a little louder this time. “Oh my god..” Sam covered his mouth for a moment trying to hide that his jaw dropped. He knew Dean and Cas had been getting really close over the last few years, but he didn't know they were romantically interested in each other. “And he doesn't know? Dean, you have to tell him.” “He doesn't want kids.” Sam blinked in confusion for a moment, but then it all started making sense. “So you're freaking out because you think Cas will be upset?” “I don't just think, I know. He's gonna leave me if he finds out. So- I'm trying to figure out what to do. I want this baby, Sam. But I don't wanna lose Cas. I don't want to have to choose between them either, because I know I'm keeping the baby.. so that means I lose Cas, right?” this was the first time he'd said out loud he was keeping the baby. The first time he felt confident in at least one of his decisions. “You don't know that though.” “I do know that.”“Did Cas tell you that he doesn't want kids or are you just making an assumption because you've never discussed it before?” Dean rolled his eyes. “We work retail together, Sam. Every time there's a kid crying or fighting with their mom cuz they didn't get the toy or the snack they wanted, a lot of coworkers make comments about how “oh I'm glad I don't have kids” or “this is my reminder to never have kids.” And sometimes.. sometimes Cas agrees with them.” Sam again stared at Dean for a long moment before speaking. “So this is all you have to go on? Cas nodding his head when a coworker says they don't want kids?” Dean bit the inside of his lip, but said nothing. “Alright. Let's get your costume figured out. I'm taking you to Cas’ party.” “What? No. I told you I'm not going.” “Yeah, and I think you should. You're not contagious, everyone misses you and you need to talk to Cas.” “And you need to mind your damn business and stop making decisions for me. I told you what I'm going through because I trusted you. Not because I want you to drag my ass to his house and ruin my life. No thanks, I'll pass.” “Then I'm telling him to come here.” “Sam-” “I'm serious, Dean. Be pissed all you want, but I'm not letting you sit here keeping secrets from your boyfriend just because of a lack of communication.” Dean didn't move. This wasn't happening. 🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃 So much for this wasn't happening. An hour had gone by before Sam finally convinced Dean to get up and changed into the cowboy costume he'd picked out this year. He had one for Cas too that he was supposed to bring over, but he wasn't even sure Cas wanted it now that he thought Dean wasn't coming. Just in case though, he brought it along. When they got to Cas' apartment they were a few hours early, Sam had already promised to come early to help set everything up, he just hadn't told Cas that Dean would be there. When the doorbell rang, Cas answered expecting to just see Sam. But the sad look on his face instantly brightened when he saw Dean. “Dean,” he smiled. “You're feeling better?” “A little,” Dean mumbled. “He feels great,” Sam chimed in. Cas tilted his head in confusion, then let the brothers enter. “Is something wrong?” “I'll let you two talk,” Sam replied, then walked off to go start setting things up for the party. “Congratulations on being a couple by the way, I don't know when it happened, but you two are good together.” “Dean?” Cas tilted his head in confusion. “How did Sam find out?” The original plan was to announce their relationship tonight at the party. They'd been dating in secret for a few months now and didn't want anyone finding out until they knew it was going to last. “Nice bee costume,” Dean commented, looking at his boyfriend with this sad look like he might never see him again. “You look good too, Dean.” Cas smiled softly, though there was concern reflecting in his eyes. “I look like I need a nap. But yeah, my costume is good.” “Is that my cowboy costume in your bag?” “Uh- yeah. But don't worry about it, you're already dressed.” “I can change,” Cas replied. He gently took Dean's hand and led him to the bedroom. “How did Sam find out?” he repeated his earlier question. Dean sat on the the edge of the bed. “It was an accident, I'm sorry. But I swear it's just him. Other people will be surprised tonight at the party if you still plan on telling them.”“You know I love you, right?” Cas asked, as he pulled the cowboy costume out of Dean's bag. “Telling our friends will be easy.”“Of course. And I think I love you a little more right now,” Dean replied. Cas chuckled softly. “I missed you, Dean.” He started pulling his bee costume off and all Dean could do was stare. He hadn't been with Cas in a little over a week, but they'd talked a few times over the phone. He missed him too. “I don't like not having you with me,” Dean replied quietly. Yeah they'd only been dating a few months, but they'd known each other for years. They already had a strong bond. “I feel the same way,” Cas continued undressing. “What if we moved in together?” He asked it so casually like he'd been thinking about it for a while. He tossed his bee costume aside and started to pull on the pants for his cowboy costume. The question caught Dean by surprise, he obviously wasn't expecting it. Though it was something he often thought about. “Um-” Cas stared at his boyfriend, a worried expression on his face. “Dean, what's wrong?” Tears started to fill Dean's eyes. “I- I can't..” he looked away. Cas frowned, he stopped dressing for a moment and walked over to Dean. He wiped a few tears away. “Dean, what's wrong?” “Cas, I'm sorry..” “You don't have to apologize. If it's too soon for us to be moving in together, I understand. I didn't mean to upset you.” “No.. no, Cas I wanna move in with you. But I can't.” Cas frowned. “I don't understand.” Dean took a deep breath, when he exhaled he felt more tears already falling. “I'm pregnant,” he said finally. “And- and I know you don't want kids. But I do. So I'm sorry.. I can't move in with you because-” “We're having a baby?” Cas cut the rest of Dean's sentence off. “Y-you’re not mad?” He sniffled a little as he waited for Cas to tell him to get lost. “Why would I be mad? My boyfriend is pregnant, we're going to be dad's.” There were tears in Cas' own eyes. “But at work you-” Cas shook his head. “I agreed that Stacey shouldn't have kids because of the way she talks about and reacts to them. She would be a bad mother.” “O-oh..” he felt a little embarrassed now.Cas knelt down, carefully lifting Dean's shirt a little to expose his stomach.. then he gently placed a kiss on the very small baby bump starting to form. “You are loved, little one,” he spoke softly. “We can't wait to meet you.” He was already crying earlier, but now Dean was crying more. Cas was too precious. A couple seconds passed, before Cas went and peeked his head out the door. “Sam! Sam, we're having a baby!” He shouted excitedly. Dean shook his head. “Cas, he already knows.” Sam's laughter could be heard from the other room. “Congratulations, Dean! I told you he'd be happy!”