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"Any last words?"
Ivo looked down at the blue vermin from his- plane? ship? vehicle? It doesn't matter, because he feels like he wants to laugh either way.
The small alien struggled and squirmed for a moment, mumbling something about never getting to try guacamole. He slumped and Ivo's scans showed his vital signs began to weaken. How humorously pitiful. He began pressing buttons.
"I don't have to tell you how many scientific breakthroughs have been made possible by animal testing," he spoke quickly and loudly, excited for the future procedures and government funding he knows are coming to him,
"You're being
very
selfish," he added on, for a little more fun.
He heard a familiar voice from his right.
The sheriff
.
He looked over immediately, about to shout an expletive before having his glasses knocked off by a literal punch in the face.
The officer jumped into the cockpit with him, facial expression showing very clearly that he was planning to punch him again, before Ivo kicked his face as hard as he could and sat up, grabbed his shoulders and headbutted him. The other man stumbled in surprise. And pain, of course. Ivo stared at him indignantly.
"
Who the hell do you think you are?
"
The officer pushed his hands away and punched him in the face. Again. Before he flipped him to push him off the ship and said, in an almost trigger-happy tone of voice-
"I'm the Donut Lord,
you son of a-
"
Ivo elbowed him in the stomach before he could finish and used the opening to move the plane, causing the self-proclaimed "Donut Lord" to fall out and onto the ground, his partner rushing over to help him up.
"Autopilot, adjust!" he commanded loudly, seated in the cockpit comfortably once again. The vehicle adjusted accordingly.
He looked down at the two people who just tried to stifle all of humanity's future growth, stored in the tiny body on the ground behind them.
He was surprised at the attempt. Shocked even, but-
"
Why
?"
He didn't understand.
"Why would you throw your life away for this-
thing
?" he gestured to the small, blue alien. The two looked behind them at it.
"See,
that's
why I don't have friends." he tried to make logic of the situation, an illogical emotional attachment, he reasoned. Prolonged exposure. "Next thing you know, you're somebody's best man, they want the wedding out of town like nobody has
anything better to do
!"
He scoffed, "Anyway! Where were we?" he looked down again, this time at the problematic sheriff and his equally problematic wife. "Oh, yes, you were
about to die
,"
Suddenly an ear-ringing bullet was shot at the frame of the cockpit, bouncing off and causing Ivo to flinch back.
He looked at the source. Ah, yes, the dimwitted sidekick of the sheriff.
"That's
our
sheriff you're messing with." the moron said. Ivo almost cringed.
Then a decrepit old man who Ivo's never even
seen
before walked up and stood next to the idiot and held up an active chainsaw. He rambled about the alien and how he wasn't crazy for believing it was real. The moron pushed the old man's chainsaw down a little and Ivo stared unamusedly at the interaction.
"Tom." Ivo heard a small voice say, trying to get the sheriff's attention. He looked at where the sheriff's wife was looking and eventually noticed that the small creature hadn't moved in over a minute. Which is rare, considering how fast he is.
The sheriff and his partner watched on with something akin to horror. Sympathy, maybe.
Ivo tutted as the creature's vitals ceased, the only readable thing left being the energy he was searching for. He looked down the bridge of his nose at the now-dead… thing? He'll name the species after himself, since he officially discovered it first.
He waited for a silent moment for the alien's companions to be in a more amicable state before asking the inevitable.
He sighed almost annoyedly, "I don't mean to be indelicate here, but," he does mean to be indelicate, "Someone should get some ice," he elaborated, "keep the body fresh…"
He trailed off, waiting for a reaction, but there was still just shocked silence and the lingering smell of ozone. He huffed.
"He's just a silly little alien," he assured condescendingly, his patience lessening, "He didn't belong here!"
The sheriff whipped around to glare at the doctor. He pushed himself up.
"That little alien," He grunted in pain, "knew more about being human than you
ever
will."
Ooh. Low blow right there.
"His name is
Sonic
." the sheriff continued uselessly, "And he was my
friend
."
Then, suddenly, inconveniently, the smell of ozone returned tenfold.