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I'll admit, I was wrong.
The comic store was silent.The only noise breaking the tense atmosphere was the distant bustle of the boardwalk and neighboring shops outside, but they'd closed the sliding doors as soon as they'd dragged you back, hands wound around your arm or wrist in a vice grip the entire way, pulling you harshly along behind them. You'd noticed a few people staring, but this was far from out of the ordinary here, and anyone local in particular paid little attention. The soft ticking of the clock on the wall was the only other sound as the three of you panted lightly into the muffled quiet, no one even sure what to say.This was a far cry from how your night had started out.Your first night with Paul in the cave had been... heavenly, to say the least of it. You'd appraised him a bit harshly in other respects, but that cigarette kiss on the boardwalk and the promise he'd made you? Both had been kept in full, and then some. You had no idea how long you'd spent losing yourselves in one another, nor just how many orgasms he'd drawn from you (let alone how much the others had heard). But eventually, sweaty and panting and more deeply satisfied than you'd been in a long while, the two of you had done the minimum necessary to clean yourselves and one another up, before dropping back into the veritable nest of soft, plush coziness and tangling together once more, this time for sleep.You'd realized upon waking - had you not already surmised as much earlier - that the four of them slept in the same bed, rousing to Paul's face buried in your neck, chest to chest, with someone else settled firmly against your back. Your mind had still been pleasantly thick and hazy, and the only thought you'd had at the time was that goddamn, would you not mind waking up like this every once in a while, before you were drifting back off to sleep. You'd been suitably delighted upon waking a second time, properly now, to find that Paul had retrieved breakfast, and in roughly equal measure, horrified to realize you'd slept through the entire day. It was already well past sunset when you incredulously marched to the entrance to the cave, clad only in someone's well worn tshirt - you had no idea whose, but they all seemed equally pleased by it - and looked out to see that dusk had, in fact, already fallen. You could very faintly hear the buzz of the boardwalk far in the distance, and moonlight was already rippling over the dark ocean spread before you as you stared out the entryway in disbelief.Paul was unconcerned rather completely, and David just remarked that obviously you'd needed the sleep, in his odd sardonic manner. Admittedly... probably not wrong. You hadn't realized just how desperately you'd needed someone to properly wear you out and then sleep fifteen solid hours. You felt like an entirely new person, it was glorious. And the breakfast didn't hurt either - apparently from their favorite local diner, a grubby little twenty four hour place up the street you'd only ducked into a handful of times, usually if you got home in the early hours of the morning and needed something in your system. You usually made it a habit to not be out that late, not in Santa Carla. But shit happened sometimes, and the food wasn't bad.At the moment it tasted positively magnificent, even with Paul poaching pieces off of your plate - and you were quickly learning the others were much the same. It was eat or be eaten in this household, and you rapidly gave up all pretense at attempting to guard your meal from thieves, instead opting to simply start stealing from theirs in equal measure. Marko in particular seemed thrilled by this development, instantly making it a game of sorts, and soon you were laughing and threatening one another as you each tried to jab pieces of pancake or bacon or toast off of the other's plate.It had been almost domestic, in a rowdy, chaotic, free-for-all sort of way, and you hadn't been looking forward to leaving them. You'd slipped right into their routine without even realizing it, and remembering that you had your own life and apartment and responsibilities to return to was not a kind epiphany to have.That said, you'd devoutly promised to return, Paul insisting on an unreasonable number of goodbye kisses, and you were laughing in earnest again by the end of it, the others even ducking in to snag a few with cheeky grins, your good mood restored when you'd realized that maybe... this wouldn't be a one off. Maybe you'd stumbled upon something more than you'd originally realized. And so you'd headed home, soothing the anxious twinge in your chest with the reminder that you'd promised to come back, and they'd made you repeat it until you'd been sure you were blue in the face, from the merciless teasing and tickling, if not from the sheer repetition.You'd promised to come back.And... you had.You'd taken care of your own basic day to day responsibilities in a rush, trying aimlessly to do something to mend your sleep schedule, but ultimately privately writing it off as a lost cause. It would take you weeks to sort that out again. And then... you'd come back. And there they'd been. All four, motorcycles lined up in a row, laughing and chatting and roughhousing as though they'd been there the whole time and you'd just never noticed. And when you'd arrived, and a mild anxiety had risen once more, apprehensive that perhaps they'd be less than glad to see you, it had been summarily squashed like little more than an errant bug.Paul's face had lit brightly when he saw you, hardly even waiting for you to park your bike before he was sweeping you up off of it, and then you were laughing again. Dwayne and Marko had greeted you in much the same way, as though you were old friends or perhaps even lovers, David simply watching the four of you as Marko gave you a particularly rough squeeze and you'd shoved him with a laugh, Dwayne cuffing you around the ears as he pressed a kiss to your hairline, swatting at him in return with a teasing threat, and then you'd been off. They'd dragged you around the boardwalk as a group the same way Paul had himself the first night, and you all of you wondered at how you'd never run into one another before. They were as local as you were, and more than that, the boardwalk was their home territory. But none of you bothered about it past an initial marveling at the chances, already off on some new adventure, each of you chasing after the next.You'd seen them as often as possible, doing the bare minimum to maintain your mundane responsibilities and spending every bit of spare time you could down on the boardwalk with them. It wasn't every night, but it was most. Hell, it had only been maybe a week so far, but you hadn't truthfully kept track, too busy reveling in your newfound companions. Until...You'd been lounging around on the bikes, arguing about where to get dinner. You'd been settled sideways on Paul's bike in particular, stretched lazily out on his lap while you smoked a cigarette, smirking as you listened to him and Marko bickering viciously about Chinese takeout versus boardwalk pizza. You knew better than to get in the middle of that debate, even as new as you were to the group, and instead opted to share droll eye rolls with David and exchange winks with Dwayne. The only real perk of being perched in Paul's lap at the time, instead of one of theirs, was that when Paul got really riled up about something, he used you as a stress ball in a delightfully ruthless manner. You expected one of these days he'd tear a hole in your jeans, but it was easy enough to patch (and well worth the work, in your humble opinion). Besides, you'd seen their jackets. You'd seen the couches. You bet good money they'd fix it for you if you asked. Especially if you really laid it on thick, guilting them into it. You were almost positive they'd never heard the word, let alone experienced the emotion, but you were equally sure they'd laugh it off and oblige you anyways.The argument had finally been simmering to a conclusion, the usual conclusion you'd gathered thus far - either to get one tonight and the other tomorrow, or just get both now - when the atmosphere suddenly shifted into a much darker gear, before you even realized what had happened.Suddenly you were yanked from Paul's lap, the world blurring nauseatingly as you stumbled, nearly eating shit on the grimy boardwalk planks beneath you while you windmilled, trying desperately to catch yourself, but then you were roughly pulled upwards to your feet. The person gripping you by the front of your jacket shook you, shouting something you couldn't understand as you felt all four men on their feet in an instant behind you, and you thrust your arms out in both directions, trying in a panic to stop the rapid escalation so you could fucking get your bearings and figure out what the hell was happening, before your blood ran ice cold. The voices, angry - no, livid - and overlapping in seething discord as they yelled at the group behind you, were ones you recognized."Stop! Stop, shut the fuck up, all of you- no! NO!" You raised your voice, frantically shouting for everyone to stop fucking moving, everyone clashing around you, shoving Alan away in front as his hands lost their grip on your jacket before shoving Marko back from where he was baring his teeth behind you, trying to catch Edgar now to push him back as you thrust ineffectively at Paul's chest. "Everyone fucking stop." You bellowed, cold fury pulsing through you as everyone fell back, chests heaving, once you finally cut through, the argument ceasing temporarily, but thick tension still permeated the air and it was only continuing to rise.You whipped your head around looking for David and Dwayne, and the dark glint in their eyes sent a brief shock of fear through you. You'd never seen them this angry. They looked positively murderous. "David!" You snapped, and you saw the muscles in his jaw tense as he inclined his head jerkily, gaze never lifting from Edgar and Alan while he acknowledged you. "Fucking help me here!" You seethed, still fighting to keep Marko and Paul from pushing forward. You knew damn well if they'd wanted to they could've just mowed you over, but you also had a feeling if you let them go, they weren't going to stay put either. Dwayne, jaw ticking, roughly pulled Marko back, and Paul stormed off of his own accord, only pacing back a few feet, ringed hands flexing, before returning to loom behind David, eerily silent and still, but radiating power and authority in thick, heavy waves.You knew the four of them, but not well. You'd barely known them a week. They were the wildcards, and in the heat of the moment, they'd looked like they were out for blood. The four of them now reined in, tight and tentative though it might have been, you relaxed even the tiniest bit and whirled on the pair opposite them, still fuming as they glared in frigid anger at the four bikers behind you. "What in the fuck was that?"These two you knew.These two knew better."Hello? Earth to fucking Bruce Wayne, what the fuck were you thinking?!" You snapped derisively, their gazes flashing harshly as their eyes narrowed and they turned that cold anger on you. You didn't give a fuck. You'd been on the receiving end of their tempers more than your fair share, and right now adrenaline was thrumming through your body so strongly you thought you might hulk out of your fucking jacket."What the fuck are you doing with them?" Alan shouted, and it only made you angrier."Why the fuck is it any of your business who I spend my time with?" You yelled back, eyes flashing when you saw Edgar's jaw clench, daring him to open his mouth right now. Of the two, he had the worse temper, and you were raring to fucking go. You knew once he got started there was no stopping until you'd properly had it out, and you were just waiting for the opportunity. But right now Alan was the one talking, and he was more reasonable, if only marginally. And with not the slightest fucking clue why these two groups had instantly lunged for one another's throats, you'd at least like to have some answers as to why before you had a big blowout fight over it."Because you're-" Alan bit off his sentence, and you felt your own jaw tense as you dragged your eyes away from Edgar to stare at him, hard and unforgiving. You didn't know what he'd been about to say, but you had a feeling. And now was not the fucking time you wanted to be having that conversation. "Because they-" he began again, gritting every word out from between clenched teeth, "-are bad fucking news, and you need to stay the fuck away from them." You laughed, loud and hollow and dark."Don't make me laugh," you hissed. "What? You're worried about my safety now?" You watched in real time, his gaze sharpen into something you'd never seen from him before. Alan had a temper, but he was a good guy. Out of either brother, he was the one closest to something nearing gentle. You'd never seen him like this."You. Don't. Know. Them." He ground out, his words heavily weighted with something that gave you pause.You'd spent a very long time learning the intricacies of one another's body language, relying on it in tense moments when audible conversation would've gotten you killed, or worse. The look in his eyes now was hauntingly familiar, and it sunk into your bones in a horrible, dreadful way. You stopped. The anger hadn't lessened, it was still thrumming beneath the surface, practically chomping at the bit, but you narrowed your eyes, and shifted your gaze to Edgar. Cold fury was still evident in the taut lines of his body, and his eyes were glittering and dark, but you could see something else behind it, and the realization felt like a cold bucket of water when it crashed over your head.Fear.Edgar was afraid.Edgar Frog was a complicated man. Both of them were. But while Alan was a little lighter hearted, a little more skittish, a little easier to startle, Edgar was solid. Steady. He kept a cool head under stress. Never in your life had you seen him afraid in the heat of the moment, and rarely even outside of it. He'd always told you fear was only good for one thing, and that was the extra dose of adrenaline. Invaluable in the right moment, but it also made you messy. Unpredictable. It could be weaponized if you knew how to use it, but it was a dangerous game to play when one wrong move meant your throat would be torn out. So he usually kept it under wraps, locked deep inside his chest until he had a safe outlet, because processing in the moment simply wasn't an option.And here he was in front of you, struggling against the chains.You clenched your jaw. Kept silent for a moment, running the calculations in your brain at inhuman speed, well aware the men behind you were growing restless. Hell, this was more patience than you'd ever expected from them at all, let alone with you. Still by all accounts a newcomer at best, if not an outsider. You wouldn't have bet on being afforded this much grace had you known them a year, rather than a week.You silenced both men in front of you with a harsh glare, both still shifting lightly in their stances, both still impatient and on guard. You turned your head to look at David. You knew Edgar and Alan weren't a threat here. Not to you."David." Your voice was solid now. Sharp. You'd harshly yanked your anger back by the leash, keeping it under tight control as it prowled around you in the shadows, the hairs on the back of your neck raising in agitation, your rage waiting for the moment it was given even an inch of lead to surge forward. "How do you know each other?"You watched his gaze finally pull away from the brothers in front of you, obviously confident enough in his reaction time and the three men by his side that he felt little concern about splitting his attention. The look in his eyes was one you'd not seen before, and that didn't surprise you in the least. His eyes were frigid, piercing, calculating. It felt like he was staring straight through you, as though deciding whether or not you were a threat. You knew he'd already decided yes. But the question kept nagging at the back of your mind - if he'd already decided you were a threat, then why? Why wait? You didn't know him well enough to parse the nuances of his gaze, but you felt like a butterfly on a pinboard, spread open for him to see. Even as you retained a sharp reticence and semblance of control, careful not to let on any more than what you wanted, you knew he could see more than you'd like. He couldn't see everything, but you weren't sure quite how much was visible either, and you didn't know how long it would be until he had you figured out. You only hoped it was long enough to get some fucking answers."Please." Your tone was nothing short of scathing, and you'd practically spat the word at his feet, but you asked nonetheless. Shameless. You didn't have time for shame. The sentiment that followed went unsaid, but hung suspended in the air between you, like a thin layer of dust catching the light.'If anything of the past week has meant a shred to you, if it brought you even a modicum of something remotely resembling happiness, if you've hoped even for a second that maybe it could become more than it is now, then give me something. Anything.'"We have history." His tone when he spoke again was low, sharp, predatory. He was keeping himself tightly under control too. This was difficult even for him, and you knew he'd had plenty of practice, evident in the way he carried himself now. You knew this was not something he took lightly, and the gravity of the situation coalesced into a frozen lump of horrible, sinking dread in your stomach.You let the question creep forth into your eyes. Let the mask slip, if only a hair. Pleading. Let it not be what you thought it was. You resisted the urge to swallow against the anger and fear bubbling thick and acidic in the back of your throat. A cold buzz suffused your veins when, gazes locked on one another, he gave the faintest trace of a nod. You closed your eyes.How could you have missed it?You didn't get a chance to think further than that.You didn't know what had happened, who moved first, who provoked the other or with what, but suddenly your eyes flew open again, locking onto David's for only a moment with the briefest flicker of fear before you were whipped around as all six men erupted around you once again, directly in the center of it all. You could hear all of them shouting and screaming, Paul was yelling something about 'a fucking traitor' that you were sure had to be you from the vitriol in his voice. You thought you heard someone dragging Marko away behind you while he howled curses, probably Dwayne, you had no idea where David was, all of them punching and grabbing for hair and throats for mere seconds before it all sharply broke apart, as though an explosion had blown them all backwards.Someone roughly grabbed and yanked you forward in some direction or another but you couldn't see who and you couldn't see where, and for a moment you had no idea which group had gotten ahold of you. You thrashed, not caring who it was, not wanting to go with either of them at this point, still woefully unprepared and confused and angry, seething with regret and betrayal and fear all roiling up in your abdomen as everything overwhelmed you at once, you couldn't be reading it right, this couldn't be happening, you must have misunderstood, there had to be a mistake-The individual pulled harshly forward again, and you felt gritty asphalt under your boots now, your senses focusing in on the ring worn by the hand wrapped brutally around your wrist, the achingly familiar metal unforgiving where it pressed against bone, and you were manhandled away from the boardwalk, towards the shop. Of course it had been them. You weren't sure if you were angry or disappointed or relieved or-You were thrown bodily into the empty shop, stumbling against the front counter as you hurled yourself to the side in an attempt to avoid crashing into the shelves of comics that lined the store, still moving on instinct, not wanting to fuck up their inventory. The thought was almost funny, in a twisted way. They'd already slammed the sliding doors shut again, locks grating with a loud bang before all of you shifted clumsily away from one another, you backing towards the entrance as they slipped and staggered past you, towards the back of the store. You found yourselves facing one another again while you tried to get your bearings, and your mind continued to whirl as you tried to figure out what exactly had just fucking happened.The comic store was silent."How long has this been goin' on?"Alan was the first to finally break the silence. You swallowed, steadying yourself on a nearby shelf as you looked up to meet his gaze.You'd never seen him so angry.Not once.The anger was different now. Before, on the boardwalk, only moments ago, it had been a cold anger. Harsh and unforgiving, but with a minimum degree of distance. Scarily under control. But this?This anger was more akin to wrath, or fury.His measured words were a staggering contrast. Almost calm.You couldn't tell which was worse.Then you dragged your gaze to Edgar, and your heart squeezed near painfully in your chest.He wouldn't even look at you.You swallowed hard."A week, maybe?"Alan swore under his breath, dragging a hand across his face as he began pacing in the tight space he had to work with, the narrow aisles of the store not allowing for much movement, and Edgar stonily still next to him as his jaw ticked, refusing to move, let alone look at either of you. You felt so out of your depths here. They'd never reacted to anything so severely in all the time you'd known them. It took a moment before you finally mustered the courage to say something."What the fuck was that, Alan?""What the fuck was that? What the fuck were you doing?" He seethed, rounding on you. It was a shock to your system, even now. They'd been angry around you more times than you could count, you'd even had your fair share of arguments, but their anger had never been at you. Never you.You kept your own simmering rage in check, the muscles of your jaw pulsing as you refused to give in. Not yet."What did it fucking look like, Alan?" He stared at you, gaze hard. "I was having fun. Enjoying myself. Making friends, ever heard of those?" You bit out, and he tensed, eyes stormy."Really. Friends." He replied flatly. You scoffed."What's it your business who I'm fucking in my free time, huh? Where do you get off telling me who I can and can't spend my time with?" You ducked to catch his eyes when he made to look away, your own narrowing, anger starting to really, truly burn within your chest now."How the fuck did you even meet them?" He avoided your question, continuing to interrogate you."On the fucking boardwalk! What do you think?!" You could hardly believe what you were hearing. "He hit on me, I took him up on it, and we had a fun night out. They wanted to see me again, and I-""What, so you think they actually give a fuck about you?" He demanded, near incredulous now. Your jaw dropped, and you stared at him as if he'd just declared the earth was flat and the sky was green and vampires were nothing but folktale."Why's it so hard to think that maybe they had some genuine fucking interest in me?" Alan laughed at that.Laughed.It was a cruel thing, no humor behind it, and you flinched, jerked back like you'd been slapped. You saw Edgar's jaw tense, even saw him start slightly, but then he stilled and said nothing.You let the chains break."I don't know what crawled up your fucking ass and died, but if you think-""It's not fucking you! They don't give a fuck about anyone, you're just a piece of meat to them!" Alan shouted, and you got louder, continuing to blaze forward."And how the fuck would you know?! It's been a fucking week! No one is proposing fucking marriage, we're having some fucking fun, I don't understand-""Because I know, okay?!" Alan was shaking now, and you scoffed in disbelief."How the fuck would you know?" Your focus pivoted sharply. "What did David mean?" You saw Alan's eyes flash at the mention of the name, but you kept pushing. "What fucking history, Alan? Huh? Because I've known you for years and you've never mentioned any of them to me even once.""Because it's none of your fucking business!" He snapped back, and your eyes widened."None of my fucking business? You just made it my fucking business! How the hell are you gonna get off on yellin' at me for talkin' to someone who you've never even warned me to keep my distance from in the first place?" Your words were beginning to speed and slur together the longer you fumed, trembling with barely contained rage as it all begin to spill out of you. "You put your fucking hands on me Alan, where do you get off thinking that's okay, huh?" You'd all roughhoused regularly since you met, and you'd done far more even than that, but never once had he genuinely laid hands on you in that way, manhandled you like that."Because I thought he was going to fucking kill you!" He shouted, and you both instantly quieted, all of the air summarily sucked out of the room. Alan's eyes flashed with something akin to fear or regret or guilt and he swallowed hard, your chest heaving lightly as you caught your breath. Edgar twitched where he stood next to Alan, and you looked between the two of them, something they'd mentioned once dawning in your mind as you took them both in. They looked shaken.They'd mentioned their first real hunt only one time, in passing when you'd asked. They'd refused to elaborate, only saying it had been long and hard and bloody and they'd been lucky to escape with their lives. That no one had been the victor, both sides simply agreeing to stay far away from one another in the future, and everyone had walked away. You'd let the subject be, feeling no need to press. It was obvious that it had been traumatic and weighed heavily on them. You'd been under the impression they'd been young, but that it had taken place not long before you'd fallen in together, a few years at the very most. You suspected less even than that. They'd never specified, and you hadn't pushed.The pieces were sliding into place now, and you weren't even sure what to say."Were they-?" You didn't even get to finish your sentence, because Edgar finally spoke up, interrupting you."Why did you go with him?"You stared at him blankly. That's what he was focused on?"Are you fucking serious?" There wasn't even any real anger behind your voice, hardly even indignant."Tell me, honestly. Was it real or just for show?" You scoffed in shaky disbelief, ignoring the uneasiness brimming in your chest now."What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Alan avoided your gaze when you looked to him for help, suddenly further out of your depths now than you had been at any point before this. You couldn't even tell if he meant the boys, or-"Did you like it?" You stared at him in confusion. He still wasn't meeting your eyes, gaze instead pointedly burning a hole through one of the Superman comics nearby. "Like them?" Your stomach turned."It's been a week, Edgar.""That doesn't answer the question." Your throat bobbed, mouth suddenly dry as he forced you to confront the issue you'd been avoiding thinking about. You didn't want to think about it. Not now. You'd just- you'd only just found out that they might be vampires. Vampires. The creatures you spent every free weekend and day off hunting, with the two of them. You'd been- you'd been sitting in his lap, you'd- he'd-"Why does it matter?" Your voice was thick, throat constricting, palms beginning to sweat. You were gripping the shelf like a lifeline now.
Baby, I just gotta know.
"It does."You'd been floundering, but now the anger was beginning to return as well, sparking behind your ribcage."It's none of your business." The sentence came out harsh, clipped. For a moment it almost reminded you of David, and with a lurch in your stomach you shoved the thought away."It is now." Edgar finally turned to meet your gaze, and your heart clenched. You couldn't even begin to tell what he was feeling, everything swirling behind his eyes in a roiling, bubbling mess. Anger. Fear. Hurt. Betrayal. Guilt.
You been creepin' round on me.
"Why?" You couldn't believe he was doing this to you now, of all times. This was not the moment you wanted to be having this conversation."You know why."No. No, no, no."This isn't fair," you hissed, shoving away from the comic shelf and beginning to pace in front of the checkout counter. You were just thankful that their parents were out, doing god only knew what. Once the boys had gotten old enough to be left alone to mind the store, their parents had started leaving them to it several nights a week. You'd never minded, enjoying the opportunity to hang out without an audience, however deeply inebriated the audience might have been. You'd never thought your trio's unsupervised escapades would include something like this. You were grateful for the empty store anyways. Perhaps even more, now."I know." Edgar didn't apologize, but he didn't shy away from it either. He knew it was unfair to you. He was doing it nonetheless.
While you're callin' me baby.
"You-" The words caught in your throat. This... what you had with the both of them, it had never been that. You'd fucked around your fair share, but you'd all agreed it was just that. Only that. You were intimately familiar with casual encounters, you knew damn well when something crossed into... into more. This wasn't- this had never been that. You couldn't have missed it. Not that, too."Us." Edgar replied, voice soft but firm. Unwavering. Your heart squeezed. You closed your eyes again, shut them tight.You laughed shakily, unsure what to even say to that."What do you want me to say?" You knew you'd been off the last week. When you were around, anyways, less than you usually were. You hadn't thought they'd noticed, you were normally so good at keeping shit under wraps. You realized now what they'd been doing at the boardwalk, instead of minding the shop. They should've been minding the shop.
You been actin' so shady.
"The truth."You opened your eyes, looking up at the ceiling. You distantly remembered scrubbing it with them last winter, trying to get the residual oil and cigarette smoke out of it, the atmospheric grubbiness that came with any business near enough to the boardwalk. You remembered splashing water and soap suds all over the place, all over yourselves and each other, the inventory packed safely away while you gave the shop its yearly top to bottom. You'd been positively soaked by the end, laughing as he'd dutifully kissed away stray water droplets from your cheeks, Alan's hot fingers skimming under your positively drenched tshirt, your skin freezing from the cold draft seeping under the sliding doors, as you-
I been feelin' it lately.
You shook the memories away, dragging your gaze down and pausing for a moment before reluctantly looking to the two of them. Watching you. You could see it in their strained expressions. You cleared your throat, pulling your shit together long enough to get the words out."The truth about what?" The least they could do is be straightforward about it. If you could ask, so could they."Do you care about them?" Your eyelids fluttered lightly, nodding not in affirmation but in understanding. You looked down at your feet. That was the question of the hour, wasn't it. You heard Alan clear his throat, tilting your head in acknowledgement when he spoke up once more, his voice softer. Devoid of the anger permeating his voice earlier, all drained away now."Do you care about us?" You huffed a soft breath, running your tongue harshly along the edge of your teeth, reveling in the burn. You let the two questions sit for a moment, the answer lingering on your tongue."Yes," you murmured. You knew they could hear you in the empty quiet of the store, the distant buzz of activity outside muffled through the heavy doors. You also knew they didn't need clarification. The answer to both questions was yes."Do you love them?"The second question didn't follow this time, only hung silently in the air now.
But you gotta believe me.
You scoffed softly again, more out of derision for yourself, if anything. How could they expect you to answer that? It had been a week, of course you didn't love them. And yet, some discomforting tug in the bottom of your gut wouldn't allow you to speak the words aloud, either.You didn't know.You thought about the two of them. Always steady, always there. Sometimes harsh, or rough around the edges. Sometimes playful, always affectionate. The heat and intensity that so often lingered just below the surface. How serious they could be about the silliest, most inane things. They'd never failed to show you unending adoration, even when you were messy, even when you fucked up. Thinking about it now, you suspected they were more similar to the boys than either group would ever admit.Edgar and Alan were the closest friends you'd ever had. And yet, it had never gone beyond that. Even when you flirted, even when they got handsy, even when things got hot and heavy and rough. That's all it had ever been. They were your best friends, your hunting partners. You trusted them with your life, of course you loved them... but not like that. And yet, the thought of uttering that aloud squeezed your heart with an iron grip, and you couldn't bring yourself to say it.You had no clue.You looked to the two of them, lost for words. Simply smiled, no answer to give. You wished you could. Instead you just shrugged, lightly, wistfully, and raised your open, empty palms in front of you, as if perhaps the answer you were looking for might materialize. As though it might drop out of the sky, like something out of one of their comic books.They each nodded, understanding. You watched their jaws tighten. You wanted to go to them, but your feet were rooted firmly to the ground.You didn't need to ask them.You knew.You felt your throat constrict again, silently cursing yourself. How could you have not noticed when things got so muddied? How could you have never realized?
You're the only one I wanna love.
The silence stretched out longer this time, and your mind drifted back to the same thought from earlier. Now was as good a time as any."They were your first hunt. Weren't they." Your voice was soft. More of a statement, than anything. The three of you looked to one another again. They nodded shortly. Your chest felt tight. You saw Alan's jaw working, and you shook your head with a wry smile when his lips parted. You already knew what he was going to say. He smiled tightly at you, hardly enough to qualify as a smile. Edgar was just grimacing at the floor, his jaw tight, avidly avoiding your gaze now.You wanted to walk forward. All you wanted was to hold them. You couldn't bring yourself to take even a step in their direction right now. There was so much mess still thrashing around in your chest. So much anger, so much hurt, so much confusion. You'd cleared your head so completely after the last hunt. The last week you'd felt better than you had in a long time. And now it had all fallen apart again in your shaking hands, trying to figure out what to do with the bloodied rubble.Alan cleared his throat, breaking you from your swirling thoughts."You should get home," he offered quietly. You smiled, tinted with something unidentifiably bittersweet as it was. Always looking out for you. Even now. Edgar nodded jerkily, looking up once more, though not quite meeting your eyes."Be careful. They could still be..." He nodded towards the darkness outside the doors. He was right, after all. The night had only just begun. Always the pragmatic one. Even now. It was your turn to nod jerkily. You knew it was for their sake as much as it was yours. All of you needed space. Time to think. They knew you could take care of yourself well enough. They knew if you needed them, you'd call, or come over. You knew their number and their address like the back of your hand."You too. I think you're probably..." Your voice thickened, trailing off as your throat tightened uneasily. They understood. Of all three of you, you were probably in the least danger. "If you need me?" You offered weakly. That got smiles, however strained."We'll call." Alan confirmed. You knew they could take care of themselves. Take care of each other. If they needed you, they'd let you know."Better get moving. The sooner you get home..." You nodded again. Edgar was right. He often was.You raised your hand for a moment before thinking better of it, and you knew they could see the tension in your own small smile."Catch you later."And then you were gone.
How long has this been goin' on?