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A Box of Conker and

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Mostly self-indulgent + I wanted to test the waters with characterizing their relationship since it’s one of the most underrated parts about it (minus Berri being dead being a bigger part of it but shhhhhh… guys trust me I can delusion they can be together.. trust me i read the totally real leaks it’s in there somewhere)ANYWAYS I feel like it’d be neat to wonder. I know they aren’t struggling at least.. half of the time I hope ! I meant if not then take some of these as them if they were… healthier?? Plus, potential ideas for how Berri acts besides Valley-Girl whos really snobbish and enjoys working out. Ik she has a few other hobbies we all saw those tech skills during the matrix part I KNOW what you are Berri…..Most of the stuff on this fic so far is a wip, so tags, and other stuff can possibly change. Not there to make everything 180 or fully get a whole ass rework so for now this is just me writing ideas and setting them here. Tags will also be added in due time, but I won’t go over the top crazy with themIf anyone is even reading this then ummm. If you have any ideas, feel free to request? I may have been getting a brainblast every 5 years, but it helps with any ideas if there’s a rare (haha) 1% that has any! It helps my brain juices flow if there’s that itty bitty chance !Ok sorry rambling but enjoy these if you’d like

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Berri invited Conker over mostly because she felt like if she didn’t, he would end up hogging invisible for a few days only to turn up just getting drunk or going out to smoke the day away. She couldn’t be a hypocrite, she exercised the whole day whenever they weren’t together, maybe went out with friends to shop the day away. She could never miss out on getting more fit! Although, her doing the first option sort of backfired. Her usual route was under construction, which means she decided to take the longer way and head back, which only made her more exhausted once she got home.Neither of her girlfriends were really answering to hang out, so she tried her boyfriend. She didn’t think he’d swing by as fast as he did, but she was sort of glad he showed up. She liked being with him. He felt calm to be around. Conker was, sure, a pain to talk to sometimes, but she liked him a lot. Especially with a long while of exercise, it felt nice to relax.She already felt the mood ease, letting her body relax on the couch while he just stared blankly at the tv. She leaned her head on his, his arm trying to wrap around her waist while she was laid down, but his fingers only reached her waistline. The only real sound besides the fan was the TV blaring whatever show it felt like playing at the time. Berri watched the squirrel on tv heft up some weight practically over his head, the iron looking fake but the acting was good enough to look decent.“I can’t let them down!” The actor spoke. “I need to deliver this iron to the king or else!”“You think that this dude would know how carrying 10 tons of iron better.” She muttered. Conker looked zoned out, not really paying much attention to the screen until now. He turned to face her.“Why would you even try carrying that with your bare hands?” He squinted, adjusting to see the screen better.“Something about ‘Courage’? I’m not sure.” She shrugged.“Courage?” His tone got curious, soon sarcastically chirping, “Oh, yeah. I’m sure calling an ambulance for dropping that on yourself takes some courage, too.”“A development to the top! Or bottom!” She giggled. “But I’m pretty sure this is all fake, though, so I don’t think we’ll get to see that.” Her lips curved downward.“One can dream.” He sighed. She chortled at the reply. She was going to grab her water to get another sip, feeling the emptiness of it instead. She soon steadily got up, trying to walk to get some water. Her legs were fighting the rest of her body to really move, aching, but she felt like getting up for a drink. The minute she did, though, his head perked up.“Where’re you going?”“To get water.” She held up her empty cup. He sat up, slipping off of the couch.“I got it.” He held out his hand.“Conker, you don’t have to. I can get it myself.” She reassured him confidently.“Well, I mean.. are you sure?” He tilted his head, a more concerned look grew on his face. “I wouldn’t mind helping you out a little.” Her whole body felt heavy, but she was determined.“Yeah, I’m sure.” She nods, patting him on his head. His head glanced to the cup. “Trust me, I can get my own stuff. You don’t have to be all chivalrous just because.““Actually, I just offered since you look tired.”“Tired?” She scoffed. “I’m not tired. I can do it on my own—“ before she could finish, she nearly dropped the cup, quickly stumbling to catch it before it slipped from her grasp. She didn’t even notice she was that tired. Being a couch potato for a good 40 minutes must’ve done it to her, she thought. She tightened the grip, trying to make it firm in her hands. “Because I’m capable of it.” She abruptly continued after a moment.“Eh, I’m not sure. Maybe you should— Yoink!” He snatched up the cup before walking over to the sink.“Wuh— hey!” Before she could properly protest, Conker started running cold water and poured some of it into the cup. Berri seemed agitated, crossing her arms, her legs stuck in place to barely move.“I don’t get why you’re against me helping you, sometimes.” He walked over, handing her the cup. “It’s not like it’s gonna kill you if I do.”“..Whatever.” She huffs, taking a sip of the cup. He just tugged her along back to the couch.“Berri sweetie, just relax. You’re always moving around anyways.” He laid her back, gently pushing her to lay down. He gently took the cup, setting it down before moving to the side. He grabbed a pillow and slipped it behind her head. She was quietly, but reluctantly, letting it happen. He was lucky she felt so exhausted for once.“I’ve been relaxing.” She hissed. Her body didn’t feel like moving for a second.“Well, sorry, jeez.” He crossed his arms once he got her settled. “I want to make sure you’re taking care of yourself, y’know?”“I am, don’t worry about it..” Her reply was quieter than her usual tone. The second she was sat back down, her body just melted, sprawling out onto the couch. She felt herself ease, absolutely still on the couch as she rested. She closed her eyes. She felt like knocking out right then and there. The one thing that was really stopping her was her boyfriend lingering over her on the side, watching her relax. She felt him gently press his hand on her cheek, giving it a few light pats.“There you go, Berri!” He hummed. He didn’t really pull his hand back, though. He stood there for a good moment, gently moving in to press a kiss to her other cheek. Her face faintly heated up over it, eyes briefly opening to a Conker that was hunched over, thumb brushing her cheek lovingly.“What are you doing?” She mumbled. His eyes focused on her with confusion.“Loving you??” He said it as it was the most obvious answer (which it was). She looked agitated at the response.“Ugh, no, I mean.. come here.” She shifted, patting the space next to her. His eyes widened.“…Oh! I see what you mean.” He smiled. He rolled his way onto the couch, wrapping his arms around her. She bent slightly to reach him, her arms slipping around him so her hands could be pressed behind his back. He rested his head on her chest, a comfortable sigh left his lips. She knew he was cuddling right up to them currently, but she didn’t mind. Berri felt like she needed the extra warmth. He eventually lifted his head, lightly pushing hers to come closer to bump her nose against his. They briefly nuzzled them together, Conker trailing his hands down to her hips.“Awww..” The actor spoke the TV screen. They both whipped their heads around. The actor had their hands clasped together. “What an adorable couple.”“Do you mind??” Berri snapped with an eyebrow raise.“Oh! My apologies.” They bowed their head, body going with them. Conker’s eyes widened, anxiously shifting his arm out to point at the screen.“Hey, buddy, you might want to focus on—“ Conker spoke before a loud CLANK! was heard. Both him and Berri flinched, soon turning their attention back to the screen, both of their bodies sat up to get a better look. They were only met with bloody tons of iron on the screen, blood still streaming down the walls nearby.“Huh.” Berri spoke after a brief moment of silence. “Guess I was wrong.”“..I don’t think a ambulance can fix that.” Conker added with a worried stare.

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Berri was relaxing late at night, lightly blowing on some hot cocoa while making sure her hair was nice and combed out. It was a cold night out since Winter was coming up, and it was coming up in the worst way: a snowstorm. A nasty one. She didn’t bother going outside the whole day, only working out insane while watching the snow fall from the window. She sipped on the cocoa once it was decently cool enough. Soon enough, a knock was on the door. She raised her eyebrow, setting her cocoa down.“Who could be out in this weather??” She wondered. “Who even thought of being out in this weather??”She walked toward the door, opening it to a freezing Conker.“Hhey, Berri…” He grinned sheepishly. “I couldn’t see where the road homme is.. or the road anymore… so could you let me crash in here for a bit…?” His tone was soft and almost to a mumble. His eyes looked like they were trying to focus on her, body wobbling and shaking in place. Snow was being stacked more and more on his head. A bottle hung from his hand, nearly dropping to the snow that was rapidly getting more and more crowded on the floor, covering the road.“You went out DRINKING in this weather?!” She yelled in disbelief.“Berriiiii, calm down! I-“ He spoke in a quiet yet whiny tone, before being pulled in by Berri. She quickly brushed off his head and body from any snow, dragging him in further to get him situated. Brushing his skin made her have a sense of an almost freezing temperature. She shivered from just the feeling.“Why are you so cold?? How long were you outside for??” She spoke in a frustrated but anxious tone, hands trembling.“I dunno….” He shrugs. “I’m bothered by the weird breezy, singling.. tingling feeling thing.”“Probably because you’re freezing??” She squinted. She felt his body some more, his cheeks heated up from the touch. “My god, you’re so…. Ugh! Let’s just get you warmed up first.”She sat him back, rushing to grab a blanket from her closet. He shifted in place, fidgeting around on the couch before being squeezed with a soft and fluffy blanket. She turned up her heater, placing it and plugging it in closer to him with a firm click. She soon went into the kitchen to also grab a bucket and set it down near him. The whole time, he seemed to stare blankly at her, his eyes looking mindless from the look of them.“What’s the bucket for??” He asked while hunching over the couch.“For later.” Berri sat with a sigh, managing to turn back to face him after a few moments.“But it’s not gonna do anything now.”“We’ll just have to see about that soon.” She shrugged, walking back over to a spot on the couch. “Why’d you have to go out today of all days..?” She mumbled. She pinched the bridge of her nose.“I didn’t think it would be all this bad.” He replied, his head hanging while he looked at her.“Did you even look at the weather today?”“Mmmmnnoo...” His voice got more quieter, glancing down at the bottle still in his hands. He tried to take a chug of it, only to taste air. Looking into the bottle, he shook it a bit to see if there was anything inside. Still, nothing. “Shoot! Ran out of booze…” he groaned. He weakly threw it to the side next to him.“Good. You need to get sober anyways.” She crossed her arms and got up.“Dooo I?” He turned his head back at her curiously.“Well, duh. You’re obviously not thinking straight.” ‘It’s not like you were in the first place’, she gritted in her teeth. She walked around, rummaging in her cabinets, sifting through them briefly. “I don’t have any coffee…” She muttered. “It’s not like it’s the only way to sober up, anyway.””Please tell me you aren’t givin’ me coffee out of every.. drink you could give me..””It would’ve helped you if I had some, Y’know..” she replied. He only did a gagging motion, her reaction only being an eye roll. She soon pulled out some water, filling it in a cup before handing it over to him. He narrowed his eyes, turning his head with a pout.“Come on, drink it.”“Mmm-mm.” He shook his head. “I don’t need it.”“Yes you do. Now drink.”“Nnnooo….” His detest quieted down after a moment, head poking up at something. He soon glances at her cup, his head tilting to see it. “What’s that in that cup?” He pointed to the cup. Well, tried to. She turned her head.“Cocoa?” She glanced at him.“Oohh!” He scooted up and closer. She quickly scooped up the cup.“OH, no no noNO.” She shook her head. “This is my cocoa!”“Could I have a cup o’ my own then?? I promise I won’t…. Spill it.. I think??” He squinted his eyes, trying to make a pleading expression. “Pppreeeettyy please??”Berri stared at her own boyfriend. Who was begging for cocoa. She took a minute to think on it. He looked up at her, anticipating some type of response. Sure, she was saving it for mostly herself. Then again, his body looked like it was still cold, his body twitched with a small shiver here and there, too. She sighed.“Alright. Give me a minute.”“HuurrAAAYY!” His voice slurred, arms raising as his body slumped to lay back after the cheer. She took back the mug of water and poured it out. She took a brief few minutes to mix in some cocoa powder with milk. This might be a bad idea, but he would probably pester her for it. Once it was nice and hot, she set it near a fan. Conker’s head poked up. She only focused on the drink before he entirely stared to trudge over, staring at the mug it was in.“Issit done?” His words were slow and groggy, lightly tugging at her pjs.“Almost.” She had her arms rested on the countertop.“Mmkay.” He nods, soon hugging her leg and giving it a light nuzzle.“Um, what are you doing?” She raised an eyebrow.“I donntttkno…” He sputters, clinging onto her.She sat there with a drunk squirrel clinging to her leg for a minute before she picked up the cup and handed it to him.“Here. It’s warm enough. Drink.” She spoke in a more calmer tone. He took the cocoa, staring down at it for a brief moment.Before opening his mouth and beginning to gulping it all down on the spot as if it were a whole ass bottle. She just stood in place and watched him do it with a straight face. Once he was done, he wiped his mouth with his sweater sleeve, licking his lips with a smile.“Ssgood.” He grinned.“That’s.. great.” She slowly moved her hand and patted his head lightly. He leaned into it the minute he felt it. Hesitating with her hand there, she moves it to press against his cheek. “You’re getting warmer. That’s good.” He pressed his cheek against her hand, letting his body slump in the direction of her touch. She pulled it back once he got too comfortable, nearly falling over.“Hhmm… I feel really hot…” He muttered breathily, slouching. She turned to him.“Eugh, do not tell me that right now.” She shifted away.“No, no!” He shook his head, holding it soon after. “I just feel a little… a little….. irk—!” Soon enough, he threw up right onto the floor.“DAMN IT!” She pouted. “Conker, the bucket was right over there!”“That’s what it was for?” He spoke with a raspy voice before spewing out more vomit.“Shoot—!” She quickly shuffled over to a mop, beginning to wet it.“Sshhhiitt…. I feel like. Shit…” He groaned, rubbing his forehead.“I can tell.” She releases a heavy breath, beginning to mop up his bile. He stood there, mostly being surrounded by vomit and getting some on his clothes. She was slightly disgusted, but it could really be worse. He could’ve done it on her, which made her face crack into a frown.“I’m sorry.” His voice spoke more clear, but it was still croaky. She looked at him with a more tired expression.“It’s fine. Just go lie down.” She shoos him off, but he didn’t move.“Hhere…” Instead, he walked toward the counter, grabbing some paper towels and beginning to help clean up his vomit. Sure, it was sloppy and it was just spreading it and also wasting paper, but he seemed determined.“Conker…” She spoke. Berri mostly bit her tongue on saying anything else. She continued to mop it all up, letting him help while Conker scooped it up along with drying to the best he could do.Once it was cleaned up, she forced him out of his clothes and let him borrow some of her own stuff. It wasn’t like he could go outside to get his clothes, or even be functional enough to do that. She would do him a favor of washing it later (she needed to do laundry anyways). He didn’t smell too much like vomit, to her shock, but the alcohol radiated off of him. When it was all finally handled, he was laid down on the couch with some covers she willingly sacrificed to him and helped him get in a comfortable position. She moved to go make herself some more cocoa. She took a moment to stare at his empty mug before making him one of his own. She walked over to him, while his arms were resting below his head.“Here.” She handed him it. He was going to speak, before he started to cough. “Don’t speak. Just drink.”He hesitated, nodding at her before taking the mug. He stared down the inside of it, his eyes fixating on the ice cubes inside. “To cool it down better.” She shrugs, soon walking off to go make herself her own cocoa. She saw him start to sip it from the corner of her eye. Once she came back with a mug, she noticed the cocoa set on the side, and a red squirrel resting on the armrest of the couch, snuggled up in a blanket. She smiled, sitting herself down on the couch to enjoy some cocoa, and some peace and quiet.

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Berri was throwing together sandwiches and drinks into a picnic basket. She was prepping for a picnic date Conker and her were supposed to go on. He wasn’t here yet, but the day was a good amount of light in the day, so she personally didn’t mind waiting a bit. She flipped the picnic blanket’s remaining sides onto each other, setting it into the basket. The room was completely quiet, outside of the chittering of birds and other creatures flying by as they go on about their day. Berri sat herself down.“I’ll just wait then.” She sighed, her arms resting against the table. She decided to just sit and wait… And wait… And wait… And wait… Until in a blink of an eye, it was already an hour over the time they were originally supposed to be heading out. Then an hour and a half. Then two hours. Then it was two and a half hours. Then the sun started going down.The food was already cold and there were cooling packs for drinks, so she didn’t care that it was out for this long. Her foot was tapping impatiently on the kitchen floor. At this point, the light in the house wasn’t as great, the light only reaching the kitchen a good amount. She was waiting for a the sound of keys, a door to open and announce presence or an apology (she threatened to herself it better be both or else). She was hoping call saying he’d be late, a friend maybe, albeit she’d hate that, to swing by and explain some lame excuse. Anything.Yet five more minutes later, there was nothing.“Where is he?!” She huffs. “He better not be ghosting me.” She sighs. She just ended up picking up the picnic basket, shoving the whole thing into the fridge instead of taking out the food. Berri didn’t feel like bothering with that right now.Suddenly, she as she did that, she heard the doorknob move, jingling and shifting in place before it opened. It was silent, the door creaking open. Footsteps making their way through the house, floorboards creaking under the steps. Her head perked up, hesitating to even turn around. The steps got closer and closer, until Berri could tell he was in the hall, staring at her in the distance.“THERE you are! About time!” She huffs, slamming the fridge closed. “There’s barely any sunlight out anymore! You better have a good excuse about this!”She was met with no response.“Hello?” She spoke after the brief silence. “…Conker?” She managed to turn around, noticing his figure. His figure was mostly casted in the brief darkness that came onto it due to the lack of light. She squinted, trying to get a better look at his figure before attempting to meet it with a glare. “Are you even listening?” Berri asked. Still, no response. His body was still. She could tell he was breathing, sure, but she wasn’t seeing anything else. Not a single movement.“Okay, fine. Be that way.” Berri only took the quietness as refusal to acknowledge anything, or even her. She felt hurt, but she didn’t feel like telling him off. Actually, she felt the opposite of doing that as the right thing. In fact, it didn’t. It felt wrong. Something felt wrong.She brushed it off. Maybe she was feeling pity? But over what? He wasn’t telling her anything, so she’d only bother to ask once he started to pipe up. Berri only walked away, walking up to her room. Her footsteps were their own, trailing the way upstairs before more quieter steps followed. She felt agitated. Just as she heard them pick up, her close enough, she turned. Only to be met with a skunk and a baseball bat to her face.

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Conker took a puff of his cigarette, letting the smoke hang from his mouth. He took this moment to mostly relax, with a good smoke, of course. He had nothing else going on, so it wasn’t that much else to do besides this. Berri was in the distance, just sitting next to him on a chair and reading a magazine or book, maybe trying to get a tan, too. She always did this whenever it was unbearably hot. He didn’t know how she could really stand this type of weather. He had to open his sweater some more in order to feel cool enough to be outside with a water bottle just barely clinging onto being cool enough for drinking.The best part about her being out like this, however, wasn’t just the day. Another good part was that Berri was oblivious to the fact he would always lean over to get a good look at her. Not just her body. Sure, her body was nice. It was a good amount of curve, but it wasn’t the same as something else. He would be anxious to admit this to her, he thought it’d be too cheesy, but he did like to stare at her face. He found it really fucking weird he just impulsively did it, but it was an eye candy he enjoyed to see. Berri was just eye candy to him in general, she was just gorgeous. Thats the obligatory thing, he’s her girlfriend after all, but the guy couldn’t help it. The way her hair was so straight yet wavy, golden locks going down to her shoulder. The way her face gleamed, even when she didn’t have any makeup on (He couldn’t care less on if she had any to begin with, to be frank. She looked beautiful either way). Her lips always looked so glossy and shiny. Her eyes were a blue that just felt like an ocean. Her skin was always so smooth and soft… and fuzzy.She just always made an effort to look nice. He was slightly embarrassed he didn’t try as much, but mostly for her. For others? He would probably walk out with nothing but some t-shirt and call it a day. Thats always how he felt about the people around here. It made it more admirable, you could say. She was always admirable to him.While he was admiring her, he didn’t even notice her realize he was looking right at her. At first, it was a glance, until she full on turned her head to give the squirrel a confused look.“What?” She finally spoke. It snapped him right out of his small trance. He immediately whipped his head back to focus on his cigarette.“Nothing. Just looking at you.” He replied. He continued to smoke outside in silence. Berri stared at him for a little longer, but didn’t stare enough to determine if the red on his face was blush or a part of his fur.

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Berri was in the bedroom, brushing her hair while watching documentary stuff. Mostly stuff on.. animals? She wasn’t sure how that was even possible, considering she was a chipmunk, and yet, here she was. She was personally tuning it all out, focusing on making her hair look nice and soft. Until she heard something from the tv.“Most animals, however, are capable of purring like the cat. For example, the squirrel can use variants of communication, including purrs.”Her head turned to the tv curiously. Purring? It’s not like she was interested in anything that really implied, but that was something that sounded almost impossible. That didn’t even sound real. She’s never heard Conker do any of that purring stuff. What would it even sound like?This definitely wasn’t made where they were from. The tv was even displaying a footage of a squirrel not even from here. Naked squirrel, a weird, oval-head, creepy little beady eyes… she shivered at the sight, grabbing the remote to switch channels. “What an animal”, she muttered.…BEFORE she could realize what kind of thought that was, Conker shifted himself, slowly rising from under the sheets. Berri glanced at him before focusing on the tv.“Hey.” She said, setting her brush down. He gave her a lazy wave as he started to shift out of bed. “Sleep well?”“Yeah, I did.” He scratched his lower back. He walked out of the room, Berri’s eyes following him before he shut the door. He came back a few moments later with a glass of water while she was puffing out her hair.“Aren’t you gonna eat something?” She asked while she finally let all of her hair rest out on her shoulders, curling downwards with very loose coils. She had no hair straightener nearby to make it look how it usually does.“I’ll eat later.” He waved it off, focusing on whatever channel was playing as he took a sip of his water and set it down on the stand nearby. He blinked slowly and groggily, his arm resting on his leg as he also propped his cheek to rest on his hand. She turned to also focus on whatever brainrot was on today. It didn’t take long until Conker started to get more comfortable on the bed. He shuffled himself to get right behind her, his legs poking out beside hers. Her eyes glinted down to small red legs rested right by hers, glancing behind her to see him sitting behind her there. He noticed her looking down at him, his head perking up at her.“..Is this okay?” He asked. His hands were still, as if they were prepared to move just in case.“Mmh.” She nodded, soon turning back to face the tv. He adjusted himself back to get comfortable. His body pressed against her back, hugging her tightly. She didn’t mind this at all. She liked it when he was like this. He gets all cute and clingy. The clingy part is a little annoying, but he looks adorable!She notices his body ease towards hers, stone still in place. She couldn’t help but have a small smile on her face, feeling comfortable as well. It stayed like that before she heard an almost quiet rumble, almost like a small engine trying to start up. Her ears went up from noticing this, eyes glancing around.“Do you hear something?” She asked.“Hear what?” He mumbled, his eyes dropped up to meet hers. She paused for a moment, noticing the noise stopped.“I could’ve swore— Nevermind.” She shook her head, chalking it up to just be nothing. She turned back to focus on the tv. She crossed her arms, relaxing while Conker continued to snuggle up against her back. His arms squeezed against her pajama shirt. His hands fiddled with the laces of her pants, lightly brushing the bushy parts of them. His hands soon shifted to interlock together, pushing gently on her stomach.As if it were like clockwork, the noise started up again. It sounded like a low and chittering rumble, but a trill all at once. This time, however, she could tell it wasn’t just some silly little noise. In fact, it seemed like it was vibrating on top of her. Or, more so, behind her. She knew who was behind her. She knew where it had to have came from: Conker. He was basically melting behind her, so it was easily noticeable now.“Is that you…?” She asked, turning her head toward him.“Hmm?” His ears perked up, head moving to look up at her.“The weird little chitter.. noise, is it you doing that?” She raised an eyebrow.“You mean… oh! Oh..” He muttered, more flustered than anything. “Yeah, yeah that was me.” He slipped one arm off her to rub his eye. “If it’s bothering you, I can stop it I’m pretty sur—““It’s fine. I was just asking.” Berri held up one hand, soon turning around to focus on the tv.“Are you sure?” He poked his head up from behind her.“Duh. Go back to.. doing however you do that thing.” She booped his nose, pushing his head back behind her. He huffs, playfully nipping at the finger. She’d gasp at him, bopping his nose playfully. He huffs, to which she snickers at him.Conker hesitated for a minute, grip still a little loose on her before he relaxed again. He slipped his arms around her more tighter, easing back into the small cuddle. His cheek nuzzled her back again, her back arching up from the sudden extra friction on her body. She glanced back to see him adjusting back. She continued to watch tv with now a more soothing sounding trill, a soft purr of comfort and love.

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Conker was at home after a late night, slipping out of his sweater. He tossed it to the side, putting on some.. actually, all he has in his wardrobe is just sweaters and a few jackets that still somehow fit him from all those years back of racing with Diddy Kong. As a saving grace, though, he found one plain, t-shirt that he never wore. Until now.Conker tosses it on, his green shorts acting as pajama pants since he can’t be bothered to dig out his actual ones. He sat back on his bed with a squeak, relaxing back into it and laid down with a content hum. He finally was able to get a peace of mind, absolute rest and relaxation.That is, until his door started to open from the other room.He would’ve been concerned, but he heard the extra key to his house unlock it. The only person who had the key was Berri. Knowing how she is, she must’ve left something. It’s one of the few reasons why she swings by this late. With him not being around in the living room, he thought she would assume he wasn’t up and went to bed.The door swung shut. Sounds of sneakers creaked on the floor, approaching the hallway and reaching his door. He heard them stop, the lights of the living room illuminating someone from behind. Conker was guessing she needed something from him, beginning to sit up and go get the door.But before that could happen, the door opened on its own.There, in the doorway stood Berri. Her face looked dazed, hair frizzy and unkept, her top strap was slipping off her shoulder. She didn’t look too good currently, her makeup a little messy, too, but one thing stood out from the sudden open door. The stench of alcohol seeped through the room. He didn’t drink today, it was one of the few days he didn’t. He seemed to have caught Berri when it was one of the few days she did go drinking.Conker tried to get a word about this in, but Berri was already approaching. She crawled herself into the bed, shorts slipping low, her bra was practically showing. Conker’s eyes widened, immediately sitting up straight and shifting away.“Berri— Berri, what are you doing?” He asked more alert. He eyes her for any subtle movements. Berri’s face turned oblivious, lips being pursed at him as her eyes looked hazed with alcohol.“Mmm… Conker, honey..” She cooed softly. Her tone was soft but loud and slurred. She moved her finger to trace it down on his chest. “I want to have a bit of fun..”He immediately grasped her hand, holding it firmly with his palm. “Berri, no. Not when you’re drunk.. c’mon, let’s lie you down—“Before he could even properly protest, her face was already inches away from his.“Pplleasee, baby…” Her voice grew more softer and quieter, as if it were more sincere. She was right on top of him, pinning him right into the bed. He would try to fight it, but her height is a good difference than his. Her thighs and arms slinked up and on top of his body. Her chest pressed against his. He swallowed heavily, looking up at her. Her eyes glistened from the shadow of her form being more present from the light of the living room behind her.“I just want to show you all of my love…” She pouted in a slurred tone. Her eyes looked heavy, but she tried to look seductive. “‘Cause it’s allllll for you…” Her voice grew more quiet at the last part. She leaned in, lips settling close to his, with him trying to move his head back as much as he could. It was a brief moment before Berri crashed down with a tense creak of the bed, passing out right next to him with a soft snore. He sat there for a minute, wide-eyes, trying to process what just happened. He ended up just throwing some random cover he could find on Berri, adjusting her to sleep more comfortably before lying himself back onto his bed. He stared at the ceiling for a good while. He had nothing to say but just—”Wow.”Yeah, that.He would try putting that off his mind long enough until the time started to affect him, the drowsiness settling in to knock him out. He probably would have to explain whatever happened to her tomorrow, to make her understand why she was in his room of all places. Yikes.

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The stone violently slammed into the water, leaving splashes of puddles in its wake from its short distance. The pond soon went still, only leaving its vibrations to quietly die out in the water. Berri let out a frustrated groan.“Shoot! That was my tenth stone!” She stomped her foot. Conker laughed at her, trying to cover it with his hand. “It’s not funny!” She pouted, trying to cover up her visible embarrassment on her face.“Well, you make it hard to not laugh!” He tried stifling some giggles as he spoke, holding up a stone. “Here, we can try again.”He raised one of his arms, one of them extending back and held in an aiming position. “Like I said, line up the shot. Dominant arm back and your other arm making it juuusstt right! Make sure you know where it’s gonna go! Or else it won’t go where you want it to.” He bends the arm back some more, clutching the stone in it. “It’s also in the wrist! You need to make sure you throw and flick the wrist… like this!” In a swift motion, he tossed the stone, body extending out to go with the motion. The stone flew, rising across a great distance of the pond before making a small splash. “Ta-da! Now you try!”“Okay..” She mumbled, getting ready to prepare the shot. She picked up the stone with her dominant hand and bent it back, her other arm extending to set it up. Conker just watched it. Carefully making sure she’s all set. In reality, he enjoying the view of her. The way her hair was always neat and how beautiful she looked. The way she spoke, even if she spoke like she was bothered by everything. Ever since he knew her, she could somehow not line up her shot properly whatsoever. And yet, she was still determined to get better. Thanks to him, he’s been doing just that! He can also spend time getting to talk with her more. He craved it each time. He couldn’t really tell why, though. He just chalked it up to her being such a dear friend to him! He did love her a lot, after all!“Closing one eye might help!” He piped up, noticing her hesitation. “Just relax and focus!”He could hear her mutter “focus…” under her breath, her body absolutely still as she tried to compose and scope out her directive. She soon got ready to fire, her body nearly tumbling in her throwing motion. Still, it seemed to do the trick, her stone going much farther than it went before.“Nice shot!” He grinned, patting her back. His touch lingered as she turned to face him. Her face lit up with sparkles in her eyes, a soft smile that made his heart melt.“Thanks!” She chirped. He could tell she was studying his face from his expression, a little mesmerized. “Are you ok?”“Oh, duh!” He waved it off. “I’m alright. Want to try another one?”“Yeah! I’m feeling confident I can do it again!”“Alright!” He grinned. “C’mon, help me look for more stuff to throw!” He began to look for other stones, her following suit.

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“ALL HAILL THE KING!”It ringed in its head. It was like a voice, no, multiple voices that wouldn’t leave his head. It was like a migraine that he wanted to stop. But he had business, more bigger than he wanted: king. King of all the land.You have this song and dance. A hero does something noble, something that grants him access to power, money, all they need to keep doing dutiful deeds. A song and dance that’s repeated throughout history as a good thing. A good guy getting good things in return.Yet, Conker didn’t ask for this. Any of this.The people were riled and happy for the new king. A new, fresh king that would surely serve better than the old one. A new one that would surely be better than any other yet.The new king, King Conker, only stared straight ahead. Straight ahead at something. Maybe a camera, monologuing about how he destroyed any chance of normality from greedy dreams, chasing something bigger than to enjoy the smaller but impactful things he carried. Maybe at the door, where he daydreamed about leaving it. Flipping everyone here off and running out. Running from any duties, running from these people he didn’t even like and want to talk to ever again in his life, running away with Berri.Berri.He stared at the spot he remembered her in. A gorgeous girl, someone who stuck with him through thick and thin. Someone whose loyalty couldn’t be unmatched and couldn’t be beat by anyone he ever knew. Someone who would fight for him even if he treated her poorly. Someone who loved him.Someone who’s now gone.He stared blankly, replaying countless options in his head. He could’ve shot the mafia boss. He could’ve pushed her out of the way. He could’ve not hesitated and not let any of them speak, finishing the job and walking out with her. He could’ve appreciated her more. He could’ve complimented her more.Choice after choice, burden after burden. After a while, he didn’t look agitated on the throne. He didn’t look angry, no. He looked tired. Exhausted. He looked like he wanted to slip into bed and stay there. He wanted to pray that maybe his dreams might give him a chance to slip back into a life he knew: a beer with Berri on his lap, probably ranting about how her employers are assholes and how she wants to kick them in the face.He missed that. He wanted that. He needed that. He needed her. But she was gone.“Conker?” Rodent finally noticed his expression. “Are you okay?”He snapped out of his trance, looking at the soldier, now reluctantly turned general by him. Everyone seemed to turn to properly focus on him instead of chanting the moment Rodent spoke.“Yeah, ya look a lil’ pale there!” The pitchfork lamented. The others huddled around.Conker didn’t reply, a hesitation being felt in the air. Then, he slowly but surely forced a smile.“Couldn’t be better.”

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Light steps walk towards the bathroom, hips bumping the door open. Her back leans onto it to open it completely. With a hum, she combs her hair back, her blonde hair flattening and following her fingers that glided into her hair.Berri was fixing her hair up and nice into a ponytail at a mirror. She was tying it up before she heard something get dragged across the floor. She ignored it at first, before hearing it get louder. She slowly stopped, squinting around. It wasn’t until she noticed a stepping stool right behind her. Conker was setting it down, grunting as he set it down with a loud BANG.“You could be more gentle.” She suggests, slightly agitated. “What are you doing anyways?”He didn’t say a word, just steadily climbing it. He stood at a decent height to her now. He rummaged into his pocket, now pulling out a mistletoe and holding it out. He had to stretch out his arm, but she wasn’t exactly under it still. He went in his toes, trying to get a unfazed Berri under it.“Do you-““I got it, I got it. Just.. one second.” He grunted, still trying to figure it out. She sighs, setting down her rubber band and letting her hair fall down onto her shoulders. She crouches down to reach his height on the stepping stool, looking right into his eyes.“There. Better?” She asks with her hands on her hips. Conker stared at her, mistletoe now raised above her head.“…No need to rub it in…” He mutters.“Well, you wanted to reach my face, right? Now you have. You’re welcome.” She flips some of her hair back, only putting some of it onto the other side of her face. “Ugh—! This is so much easier when it’s tied up.”He snickers, to which she pouts. “Stooop! It’s not funny!” Berri snips, but couldn’t help wiping a smile off her own face while his snickers turned into chuckles.“Okay, okay! I’ll stop!” Conker chuckles before it dies down. She was going to move her hand to fix her hair, but he does it instead, moving his free hand close to her cheek. He moves her hair behind her ear, stretching his arm out to reach it.“There. Better?” He smirks. Berri waves his hand away.“Yeah, yeah… thanks.” She ghosts the spot he touched while he retracts his hands. “But seriously,” She sets her hands onto her thighs. “Are you going to kiss me or what?”“Oh, I’m planning on it.” He smiles, soon cupping her face. “C’mere!”He pulls her closer to him, pressing his lips against hers. He wraps his arms around her, Berri wrapping hers around his torso. He moves his hands up slightly into her hair, entangling the softness of it in his fingers as she applies more pressure into the kiss. He tries to put in the same effort, pressing his upper body atop hers. Their tongues dancing around as neither considered pulling back for a second, lips only parting to adjust and playfully lick the lip of the other. Conker moves his hands down to her back, sliding his fingertips down slowly, causing her to shiver in delight with a soft groan. With her height, her back arches to compensate, but that backfires into him falling off the stepping stool. He attempts to grab onto something, but falls onto his back with a hard thud, the stepping stool bumping Berri in the leg, with her hair being pulled from his sudden tumble.“Ow!” She says from the bump.“OW!” He squeaks from the ground.“Ohmigosh, Conker! Are you okay?!” She panics, rushing to help him up.“I’m fine..!” He steadily gets up, Berri supporting his back. Once he was back up, she tended to another important matter: her hair. She was fixing her hair from the fall, combing it down. Conker took a minute before he spoke again “It was… worth it.”He grinned.“You could’ve broken your back, psycho.” She rolled her eyes.“Still would’ve been worth it, don’t you think?” He sheepishly smiles.“Tch, whatever…” She crosses her arms, being upset that he wasn’t being concerned over safety currently.“…Do you want to make out?”“Duh.”

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Conker sat flat on the couch, feeling the cool sheets. His head felt like shit and felt like it was thumping so much it would explode any minute now. His vision blurred the minute he attempted to even sit up, the headache spinning his head around. He groaned, putting his hand up to rub it. His other hand pushed down into the cover. It was warm and also… fluffy? He glanced down to the white cover, kneading it with his fingers before sliding them over its surface. Felt very comfortable. It was nice. Conker would’ve hummed in his little content with it if it wasn’t for the hoarse cough that came out instead.His throat horribly dry. He rubbed it with his hands, only noticing the mug nearby with his eyes finally deciding to trail down beside him and right near a table. Scooping it up into his hands, he mindlessly drank it, taking in a more flavored taste for water. His eyes widened, smacking his lips from the taste. The sweetness, having a cold but familiar sensation in his taste buds. It wasn’t hard to tell: this was cocoa. Not hot cocoa, just cocoa. It must’ve been a while since this was even made. His tongue hung out from the sweetness. Sure, sweets were nice, but plain water would’ve been nicer at this moment.He didn’t feel like moving, but at the same time, he knew he had to. He shuffled his legs and forced them out of the covers, noticing his sweater now gone. It was replaced with some band he didn’t even know. From the cutesy look, it would’ve been something Berri probably knew. In fact, that mug is probably something Berri would have, too. She’s liked beautiful looking designs. Colors decorated the mug as if it was a small parade in a cup.Actually, this whole place looks like Berri’s house.Until he realized this WAS Berri’s house.He immediately stood up. He was more anxious over the fact that he stayed here when he really shouldn’t have. Whenever he does come over to her house blackout drunk she always tells him off before letting him walk his sorry ass back home. Although, he isn’t really kicked out. Or even sleeping on the floor. He was practically tucked in, cocoa sitting on the side. He would’ve checked if he had anything in his sweater pockets like antacids, but that option was out of the window because he didn’t know where that was.Before he could really think on what even to do at this rate, he heard a door click open. His body impulsively froze up, ears perking up at the noise. Slippers were heard shuffling, sliding onto the floor. A tall figure entered the room, grumbling about knots? He could hear the clinking and the clatter of something being grabbed out of a cabinet. He moved to climb up onto the couch, his head hovering up from behind. A Berri in pajamas was setting down a few supplies, eggs set on the side. She was preparing something before she felt eyes on her. Her head glanced back, eyes flicking to the couch. He tried to slink his head down, but it hurt too much to do it quickly. He hissed from the pain, flopping back onto the couch with a tired groan. He heard everything on the other side completely stop. The steps now shuffled toward the couch. A chipmunk figure now entered his sight as he was facing the ceiling, head on the cushions. She looked down on him, head tilting with a unfazed expression.“If you’re feeling bad, then just lay there.” She simply said, before turning around. He would argue if he felt like he could. He felt his stomach churn too much to even consider talking right now. Before he could really think on anything else, he ended up vomiting onto the front of the couch. Luckily, there was a conveniently placed bucket that was where he was facing to hurl. He coughed and spat it out, heaving in his breath. He definitely didn’t feel the best.As that was going on, a warm hand settled onto his back, gently rubbing up and down.He slowly raised his head to his girlfriend hunched over, hand on his back as she looked more pitiful of him than ticked off. She put a hand to his forehead, using both her back and inner palm of her hand for a moment.“It’s a miracle you aren’t sick..” She mutters.“What do you mean?” He curiously asks, glancing up at her.“I’m not surprised you don’t remember coming over shitfaced while there was a whole snowstorm outside.” Berri replied more agitated.“I did..?” He looked confused. He looked to the window, seeing pure white snow outside. Loads of it.“Yeah.” She nods. “I’m pretty sure you also forgot about the weather because you told me you didn’t know about it when I asked you.”“Ok, I know I messed up. You don’t have to rub it in…” He retorted more quietly. He didn’t feel like arguing, or being yelled at currently. He shoved his head onto one of the couch’s pillows and kept it there, clutching it tightly.“Conker, I’m not rubbing it in!” Her voice got louder.“Can you be quieter..??” He mumbled. It wasn’t quiet enough for it to not be earshot.“No-! I-“ She struggles with words before sighing. “You worry me. A lot.”His head perks up, slowly lifting his head to look at her.“Sometimes when you go out to drink, you only leave a message, and then just.. no m.i.a for whatever you’re doing and not tell me. Sometimes I won’t even get a message, and you just go away for hours on end and not say anything until a few days later.” Her voice sounded more weaker with each word she says. She crosses her arms. “I know you like to drink and stuff, I respect that, but don’t just disappear while doing it. You’re lucky I know where you are for the most part.. but sometimes I’m scared that it’ll only be a voicemail and.. you’re gone, and won’t ever come back.” Berri looks away, flipping her hair with her head and somewhat sitting on the armrest. Her ears were flicked back as she stared to the ground. She was embarrassed to admit it, but she was scared about how he was, and where he is. She knows she shouldn’t be, but with last night happening, she feels a little justified in her small, anxious fear. Conker hesitates, his eyes dropping to the pillow. He lifted his head, shifting his arms to rest on his head.“..That.. okay yeah that sounds pretty bad…” He mutters.“No SHIT Sherlock!” She snaps.“Please—! Ok, I’m sorry?” He mutters. “I just.. gimmie a minute…” He rubs his head. “I just like going for a drink or two. It’s not a bad thing.. but.. I.. I do kind of forget to tell you. It just slips my mind a lot, you know? I focus on stuff that… I like and.. well, sometimes it fucks other people over.” He sighs. “It happens.. but I really didn’t mean for it to happen to you. I thought it was me going out for a quick drink!” He shrugs. “It’s a problem, though. Isn’t it? A problem I’m not sure if I can fix yet.”“Well… you don’t have to fix it completely. I know all of those alcohol PSAs or whatever shove ‘it’s hard to quit’ down your throat over and over for a reason.” She air-quotes and looks back at him. “Just be more open with me, okay? That’s all I’m asking. I don’t want to hear only a little bit and then be left out for the rest. That doesn’t feel good, you know.““I know.” He slowly nods. “I’ll try doing that next time… and when I don’t have a headache..” He coughed.Berri smiles, shifting her hand to his head and gently petting it. Conker hummed, closing his eyes with a smile as he lightly grasped for it. “I’ll try bein’ better. Promise.” He wasn’t sure how he’d remember it now, but he’d probably right some sticky note or something once he’s feeling better. He wasn’t the best at remembering a lot actually… he should probably get that checked out now that he thinks about it.He kissed her hand before letting it go. He got comfortable on the couch as she slipped her hand down to his cheek and pat it a few times. She grabbed his cup of cocoa, beginning to walk off with it. He lifted up his head again immediately. “Wait.. wait! Why are you taking it?”“Well, water would help you better, wouldn’t it?” She raised an eyebrow, one hand on her hip. She was expecting him to let her go dump it out, but he instead held out a hand.“…Just a few more sips.”

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Berri was taking a nap on some random afternoon. She was exhausted from her prior workout and going on a date, so she let Conker stay over to relax as she decided to rest in her bed. She knew he at least wouldn’t try messing anything up or smoke in her house (he knows she would kill him if he did it inside her house). The first thing he did was go outside for a quick one. She just waved him off to get some shuteye. She was resting under cool sheets, eyes closed as she was enjoying the rest.She couldn’t tell really when, but after a moment of being asleep, she woke up to a scent of something heavy, to say the least. The smell of cologne was trying to fight off the cigarette, the most conflicting odor stemming from it. Her nose twitched as she took it in, her abrupt smelling being disrupted by a light thuds of walking on the floor. She could feel the figure get closer, her eyes slowly widening to Conker pretty close to her face. His nose near hers. He didn’t seem too phased to be this close.“Back up…” She muttered. He stands straight, as she moves her arms to bend on the bed and prop her up.“Sorry, eesh. I was gonna just kiss you goodbye.” He spoke in a defensive tone.“Mmm.. I didn’t know..” She grumbled.“I’m guessing you got some good shuteye.” He smirked. She groggily glared at him.“Whatever…” The chipmunk soon put one hand up, moving her hand sloppily. “Come on, say goodbye to me already.”He was about to say something, before shrugging, leaning in close. His lips slowly parted, expecting a kiss as Berri moved in close. His arms wrapped around her neck as he got closer, only to have her bump her nose against his. He looked confused for a second, staring with a confused look.“What are you…” He muttered,his words trailing off. She soon began to gently nuzzle his nose. This was frankly something he didn’t think she’d do, but he personally wasn’t complaining. He nuzzled back, tilting his head up to reach Berri better. His eyes closed, relaxing in the moment. She felt so warm, and soft. It was really comforting to just be able to feel so at ease.She soon pulls away, staring at Conker with soft eyes. His eyelids drooped halfway, hands still carefully rested behind her back. She soon did it again, nose gently rubbing against his. He didn’t think he would actually.. like it this much. Being so close, and also be trusted to get close to someone’s nose? That had to be something to be proud of right?Conker enjoyed it, soon tilting his head upward to press his lips against hers. It was a quick, soft kiss, Berri pulling away to lean her forehead against his.“Mm.. that was nice.” He nodded to himself. Berri hesitated as she looked at him.“Hey, if you’re not.. busy and stuff.. you think you could stay over again sometime..?” She softly asks, hands ghosting his hand placed on the cover.“I mean, I could try. Why?” He raised an eyebrow.“Because I like you here.” She hums, wrapping her arms around him for a hug. He breathily sighs, melting into the touch instantly. His head rested on her chest, eyes closing for a brief moment. He knew he was still leaving, he really was after this. He felt like lingering longer, but he reluctantly slipped out of her arms.“Heh, alright. Then I’ll stay here again… maybe.” He grins. “I’ll catch you later, okay, Berri?”“Mhm..” She responded, her head slowly nodding.“Look, I’ll close the door for you so you can keep napping.” He waved her to lay back down. She glanced at her sheets, beginning to lie back down. Before she could completely do so, he leaned in one more time. “Mmuah! Love you.” He rushed along the farewell, giving her a kiss on the cheek before turning to run over to the door. She got herself cozy in bed, while Conker decided to walk out and go off to the Clock and Plucker to meet up with what he would deem ‘The Guys’.

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Conker was busy fidgeting with his yo-yo. It’d been way too long since he tried tricks with it, so he decided now was the best time. Flicking the yo-yo down, it stayed there and spun in place rapidly, eyes staying completely onto it idly spinning.“Are you just going to keep doing that until I finish?” Berri asks, doing some yoga stretches after her workout.“I got to occupy myself with something.” He shrugs.“It sounds annoying. It’s throwing my tree pose off.”“Sorry this isn’t exactly quiet, y’know.” He raised an eyebrow. She rolled her eyes, setting her other foot on the ground again to turn and face him.“There. I’m done now.” She sets her hands on her hips.“One second..” He flicks the yo-yo back up to his palm. “There we go.” He slipped the string off of it and shoves it back into his pocket.“Well? What’d you need anyways?”“Just wanted to say bye before I went out.”“Could’ve just said it before you left.” She fixed her hair out of her face.“You would’ve told me I should’ve waited until you showered.” He snips back. She crossed her arms, a small “hmph!” leaving her lips.“Well, not my fault you usually disappear.” She snips at him.“I wasn’t trying to do that, that’s why I was waiting—“ He cut himself off, sighing. “Yeah, alright, I’ll go.” As he spoke, he slowly pulled the yo-yo back from out of his pocket and continued to idly play with his yo-yo, Berri’s ear flicking in annoyance.“Could you seriously do that outside? That thing looks like it’s going to fly off of the string.” She says while she was wiping her sweat off with a towel. He faced her, still toying with the yo-yo.“I’m going outside in a minute, relax.”“Okay, but I just don’t feel like you should be—“ Somehow, she immediately slipped on her mat from her own sweat. The yo-yo managed to get in her way as she walked, ending up tripping her right onto Conker.“Augh! Berri, what the hell?” He spat, struggling to move.“Don’t pin this on me! Your stupid yo-yo caused this!” She snapped back at him.“Yea, yea, just get off of me already! I would rather not smell you.” He wriggled from underneath her.“..I can’t.”“Why not?” He glanced up at her with a confused expression.“There’s this string around us! I can’t!” She struggled to move. Conker looked down, soon noticing the yo-yo string tightened around them.“…Well shit.”“Ugh, Conker find the yo-yo already! I feel all gross and sweaty and I want to shower!” She whined, trying to stand up.“I’m working on it!” Conker moved his head, trying to look around. He soon spotted a glimpse of a red yo-yo near Berri’s waist, slinking out of view.“I think it’s behind you.” He replied, trying to poke his head out to see it better.“What??” Her eyes widened, glancing behind her. She tried moving her hips. “Get it off me!”“Baby, I’m trying!” He says, attempting to grab it with his teeth. Berri tries to move her hips out of the way in the meantime. With both sides trying to pull different ways, they subsequently roll over, Conker being on top of her. Berri was still sweaty, breathing a little heavily from trying to move. The yo-yo was still underneath her, and it was uncomfortable.“…We might have a small problem.” He speaks after a moment of silence“Oh you THINK?!”They spent a good hour rolling around before they properly get the yo-yo off… because of the subsequent sound of a SNAP of the yo-yo string.

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