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It was a normal afternoon, boring almost. Kiara and JJ were hanging out at the house, everyone else was off elsewhere. They were lounging, lazily passing a joint back and forth and lamenting that there wasn’t enough swell to go surfing.
Their lazy afternoon was interrupted by a car pulling up. JJ cursed when he looked up to see the blue sheriff’s truck and threw the almost finished joint into an empty bottle.
“What the hell Shoupe? I didn’t even do anything this time!” He called out as he walked towards the sheriff. Kie questioned if that was a smart thing to say to a cop while reeking of weed, but that was JJ for you.
“Everything ok?”, she asked when she joined JJ.Shoupe looked nervous and too serious, but not pissed off at them. That couldn’t be a could sign.
“I’m not here for that, no one’s in trouble.” Shoupe paused and it seemed like he was bracing himself for something.
“They found your father JJ.”Kie could see JJ tense up but he shrugged nonchalantly. “He’s back in prison then?”
Shoupe looked uncomfortable. “No. I’m sorry to have to tell you this JJ, but he has been found dead. It seems to have been an overdose.”
Kie could see how JJ froze, so she softly pushed past him and smiled at Shoupe.
“Thank you for letting us know Shoupe. Is it ok if he comes to the station tomorrow or something to handle things?”
Shoupe hesitated for a moment, but with a look at the shock frozen JJ, he eventually nodded.
“Alright. But make sure he actually shows up.”
Kie promised and Shoupe left. For a moment Kiara just stood there, almost as frozen as JJ was.Then she shook herself mentally and touched JJ’s shoulder carefully.
“Jayj, hey. Can I give you a hug?”
That got JJ out of his stupor and he shrugged off her hand.
"What? Nah, I'm good Kie. Good riddance to that asshole!"
"JJ…" Kiara tried but JJ interrupted her.
"It's a relief. Seriously. At least this way I don't have to kill him." He was pacing back and forth now, all nervous energy that Kie was afraid could turn destructive really fucking fast."I almost did once you know? Held that gun from that motel room right to his head when he was passed out on the couch. Was this close" He held up his hand, thumb and pointer finger almost touching, "to pulling that trigger."Kie wanted to say something, but she didn't find the right words before he continued.
"Should have known I'd just have to wait, he was bound to do himself in sooner or later. Don't know why I bothered to steal those pills from him when he left that last time."JJ continued pacing and talking for a while. He said terrible things that had tears running down Kie's face. She really wanted to hug him, kind of wanted to resurrect Luke Maybank just to kill him again. JJ deserved so much better than that fucking monster of a father.
But she couldn't reach JJ, it was probably better to just let him get it all out and when he eventually ran out of steam she would be there for him. She would hold him and call the other Pouges here and they would remind him he had a family that loved him and would always be there for him.
Until then she'd just have to stomach what JJ was saying and curse herself for looking away for so long.
Eventually JJ sank down on a sun lounger and buried his head in his hands. "Fuck." He mumbled, "I can't believe he's dead."
Kie sat down next to him and this time he didn’t shrug her off when she put an arm around his shoulder.
“He was a fucking waste of space, a grade A asshole and I hated his guts!” JJ sounded like he was trying to convince himself and Kiara could feel him shaking. She pulled him closer.
“But he’s my Dad and I love him.” His voice shook and Kiara was pretty sure he was crying. She hadn’t seen JJ cry since the day in the hot tub.
She admired him for still being able to love his dad, even after everything he had put him through. JJ had the biggest heart out of anyone she knew and loved so unconditionally, it was so fucking unfair that his parents couldn’t see that or give him the love he deserved.
“I know you do JJ, that’s ok.You’re allowed to feel those things at the same time. You can grieve him and be relieved at the same time.”
Some of the tension seemed to drain out of JJ and he turned to lean into Kiara. His arms went around her and she could feel him silently sob into her shoulder. There wasn’t much more to do than to hold him, hum softly and pet his hair, hoping she could give him a little bit of comfort.
After a while JJ sighed and straightened up.
“Thanks. I… fuck I needed that. I’m sorry Kie.”
Kiara shook her head and ducked down a little to look into his eyes. “Hey, no. You don’t need to apologize for needing a hug or crying. I’m here for you, whatever you need.”
JJ gave her a weak smile. “Thank you. That… that means a lot.”
Kie smiled back and then reached over to grab one of their beer bottles. It was probably warm now and well on its way to flat, but something to drink would be good after the crying.
To her surprise, JJ hesitated.
“I’m… not sure I should drink right now. I really don’t want to end up like him, you know?”“Yeah. Yes of course. Let me get you some water or something. Be right back.”
Kiara went into the house and grabbed them each a bottle of water.
"Heads up!" She called when she came back and tossed a bottle at JJ who caught it easily.
"Thanks."
They sat in silence next to each other, sipping their water until JJ eventually said. "You were the first you know?""The first what?""The first person I ever told that my father hit me."
Kiara looked at him surprised. "I was?"
JJ didn't look at her. "Yeah. You had just started hanging out with us a couple of weeks before and I showed up with a big bruise on my arm. You just asked me what happened and I told you. All nonchalantly, that my dad had done it. I don't think you believed me, you never brought it up again. I don't even know why I told you, I was always so careful to make up believable stories for all my bruises, but something about the way you asked me… it just made me tell you the truth."Kie swallowed. "Oh. I… I don't remember that. I guess I must have not believed you. I'm really sorry about that J. I should have told someone—"JJ interrupted her. "No, you shouldn't have. They wouldn't have believed me anyways, and he would have gotten so mad. Or worse they would've taken me away from all of you. It's ok, I handled it. That's why I never told John B. or Pope." He pushed his hair back. "Or you a second time, because I was afraid you'd tell your parents and they would do something."
Kie put her arm around him again. "You shouldn't have had to handle it. I'm so sorry you had to go through that."
JJ just shrugged, but didn't make her take away her arm.
"Big John didn't know?" Kie asked after a moment.JJ shrugged again. "He must have suspected. He asked some pointed questions sometimes, but I was very careful never to let anything slip in front of him, so I guess he didn't think he had enough proof to do anything. He did tell me I was always welcome at the Chateau, which was the only help I wanted anyways."
Kie nodded thoughtfully.
"Do you want me to let the others know?""Nah, I'll tell them when they get back. Don't want to ruin their day with this.""They would want to be there for you.""Yeah, but… they can do that later. Right now you being here is all I need." He leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. "Thanks for that."Kie kissed him back and smiled. "Of course, always."