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The Tragedy of Mount Ebott.

If you lived in the city that followed the path trickling through the forest, you knew the story: a group of elementary school children went on a field trip to learn the rich history of the only real thing Ebott had to its name. Of course, that meant taking a bus ride to the very tippy-top of the mountain

with the understanding

that no child would be left unattended.

Until one was.

An eight-year-old who infamously fell into the mouth of the mountain after being neglected for a few minutes too long. Nobody had heard them scream or seen them fall, so they’d been missing for

four hours

before anyone noticed that they were gone. The authorities were called immediately, of course, and it was the biggest news story the town had seen since someone claimed they’d seen a mildly known celebrity in the grocery store. Reporters swarmed the scene, trying to get a word out of the busy cops who had yet to find anything that indicated the missing child was even alive. Ultimately, they came up with nothing. All of the chaperones were charged with child neglect and had to pay out-of-pocket for emotional distress. Divorces and custody battles were swift, with very little argument about who got to keep the children in their care and who would never be allowed to be responsible for a child’s safety again. A once unrecognizable face had now become the cautionary tale of both who to trust with your child’s safety and the reason nobody went up to Mount Ebott anymore.

The story spread like wildfire, people online screaming their opinions about the entire situation, desired or not. Blaming the parents. Blaming the other kids. Blaming the child themself. Blaming

anyone.

Invidia “Envy” Tirabassi was a name that less people knew. A twenty-five year old dojo instructor who had been just as shocked by the news as the next person, but ultimately unaffected by it. Children rushing up to Mount Ebott and falling into the gaping hole at the top wasn’t anything new, according to some newly discovered documents that the county had apparently been sweeping under the rug. Now it was a whole thing. The Ebott Facebook group was demanding a mayoral impeachment or some kind of re-election. People were egging the mayor’s house and writing nasty things on the office building. The local news even let the high school theater club do a satire sketch about the whole situation, which Envy hopes doesn’t happen again. She’s pretty sure the news station is getting sued for emotional damages.

Are they?

She wonders to herself, pulling open the blinds to her dojo. It’s a cloudy day, so she isn’t blinded by sunlight. Good for her vision, but bad for the overall atmosphere of the place. And business, but that didn’t really matter to her if she was being honest. In principle, that is. She did need to pay rent and feed herself.

Envy was… content with her job. With all of the restaurants and clothing stores in Ebott, she had to get creative in how she was going to make money. But she needed to stay in town and also had to adhere to her skill set. So, she ended up opening the dojo. Being the only place to learn how to fight in Ebott, she actually did pretty well for herself.

The only problem was, she didn’t have any other coworkers.

Envy could use some coworkers. Yes, she was fine handling the dojo by herself (despite the concerns of her clients), but a little extra help never hurt anyone. The only problem was, nobody in this town knew how to fight. It was fine to want to learn, but it was irritating that every applicant only had a few years of ‘experience’ and couldn’t name anything that wasn’t an incredibly basic move. So she just didn’t have any expectations whenever someone walked in the door asking for a job. Almost everyone who applied ended up becoming a client, anyway.

… Speaking of which, it was past opening. Why wasn’t anyone here yet?

Envy opens her phone. Maybe she’d missed a mass group text explaining their absence, or she’d come in too early again. Or

maybe

(and she’s annoyed thinking about this) she had forgotten that she was holding the morning class elsewhere again.

But she hasn’t gotten a single text from any of her clients. It’s March twelfth, which is no day of significance as far as she’s aware. And there’s no reminders or sent messages saying that the class was going to be somewhere else. Even her email is completely clean, at least in regards to the dojo. There are a few spam messages from the same companies that Envy keeps unsubscribing from. She briefly considers trying again before something catches her eye.
Ebott Evacuation Warning: Emergency Evacuation Protocol… - Beloved resident of Ebott, this is not a drill. We need you to…
An evacuation warning? She clicks on the email.

Ebott Evacuation Warning: Emergency Evacuation Protocol Effective IMMEDIATELY.

Beloved resident of Ebott, this is not a drill. We need you to leave town as soon as humanly possible. There has been a disruption at the top of Mount Ebott that could potentially put all of us in danger. The government is currently investigating and will get back to us with information as soon as they can. We will let citizens back into the town as soon as we receive the all clear. Your safety is of the utmost importance to us, so DO NOT return until permission is granted.

Regards,

Trinity Banks, Mayor of Ebott City

Envy scrolls to see if any other emails were sent. Nothing. As surprised as she is that she didn’t catch the email, this was also sent at about three AM in the morning. Still, something like this shouldn’t have slipped through the cracks, right?

Either way, it looks like the town did evacuate, sans Envy. So no clients today. She sighs and pockets her phone, trying not to think about it too much. So she’d opened her shop just to close it ten minutes later? What a pain in the ass. If she had just checked her email, she could have just avoided coming in at all. Or if the situation hadn’t happened, whatever it was.

… Why did the mayor even want the city to evacuate, anyway?

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Envy had a habit of waking up before her alarm went off. Not that she wanted to, she just did. She was an early riser and that was that. It was a fact of life—the sky was blue, it was fifty-five degrees outside today, and Envy Tirabassi was an early riser.

The morning is when she gets most of her housework done. Laundry, sweeping (she didn’t own a vacuum), and just general cleaning. Sometimes, she’d put on some music or sing to herself as she tidied up. Living alone had its advantages—only needing to tend to one person meant there was less work to be done. Only one meal to be prepared a day at most. Her apartment’s laundry and dryer could handle the limited loads of sheets and clothing that she had to run through it, no matter how stained.

Living alone seemed like the real deal. Sure, there were problems, but what living arrangement

didn’t

have issues? Envy had considered getting a roommate in the past, but kitty litter was expensive and “a cat isn’t a replacement for an actual human being.” At least, that’s what she’d gathered from the psychological reports she’d read on human socialization. Not that she remembered how she got there—she was only

mildly

interested in psychology, anyway.

And a cat

is

a roommate.

Envy stretches and leans the broom back against the wall littered with uneven paint lumps and a…

wetness

that just came with the place. It wasn’t the paint, the apartment was just wet. No amount of dehumidification seemed to change that fact, but sweating in her sleep and having to store

all

of her food in the fridge wasn’t such a big deal. Was it an adjustment? Yes. Was it a

problem?

No.

She double-checks that the curtains are completely shut, ignoring the way they feel under her fingers (and any possible mold. Rent was cheap here). It was currently 5:00 in the morning, which for most people meant going back to sleep. For Envy, it meant that there was no point in even looking back at the bed. There were two hours left before she had to leave for work, and two hours left for her to get some tai chi in.

Her fingers curl under the dresser drawer and pull it out, looking through her options before she settles on her usual pick. A pair of yoga leggings and one of her track jackets had never steered her wrong. They were comfy, she wouldn’t have to change for her shift, and they went well with the only pair of shoes she bothered to own. Sure, combat boots might be a

little

on the nose, but she’d wanted a pair since her first roundhouse kick. It may be the only style of shoes that she’s consistently worn, and they’re probably the reason that Envy can even fight in heels to begin with.

She looks at the mirror. Brown eyes stare back at her beneath wispy bangs of the same color. Her olive skin reflects off the mirror, a light scar on her upper lip that's almost the same color. But she got lucky there. She hasn't been so lucky in the past.

Now comes the hard part. Slowly, Envy peels off her hoodie as if it’s her own skin. She doesn’t look down at her body, trying to ignore the parts that she hates looking at so much. But just like every other time, she caves, and just like every other time, she’s hit with a bitter, ugly reminder that runs along her torso, her hips, her thighs, her shoulders,

everywhere.

Living alone means nobody else can see her scars.

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A warm sun peeks from between the thick density of Ebott City and glares harshly off of the sideview mirrors of Envy’s piece-of-shit 1961 Buick Flamingo. Despite the paint job being dilapidated with time, the bubblegum pink vehicle is hard to miss against the more muted colors of the city around it. Flashes of the car’s exterior color hint at nearby plant life and sections of the ground below, only attaching themselves for a second before disappearing completely.

Envy Tirabassi did not like her car. It stuck out like a sore thumb when she just wanted to blend in. She wasn’t someone who wanted attention, and this car was the perfect conversation starter.

Wow, what a cool car.

I haven’t seen anything like that in years.

Where’d you get it?

I like the color.

And the worst part was, they were all so

nice,

so she just had to grin and bear it. Unless they were yelling at her because she ‘stole their parking spot’ or something like that. At least

then

she could be authentically bitchy.

The downtown area that her dojo was located in only had three parking lots for the entire population, leaving anyone who wasn’t lucky enough to find a spot to park on the road. Any parking garages had been scrapped in favor of an admittedly cozy (but still impractical) mall, which

also

didn’t have parking. Apparently, it was close enough to downtown that residents could just walk. Ebott City did have parking problems, she would admit that. But there was

no

universe in which there was justification for the ways people went about handling it.

Namely, reserving spots using their own (and probably illegal) tactics. This had become more of a recent problem, what with the influx of new residents in the area. Residents that were completely unaware of the laws that most humans in the Ebott followed regarding… well, everything.

“Come

on,”

Envy says to herself as she drives past yet

another

parking spot blocked off by traffic cones. There needs to be a limit on who’s allowed to buy those things, seriously. Only murderers and creeps would be

this

much of a hardass about a

parking spot.

So she does what anyone would do in her situation: parks the car, gets out, and starts moving the cones. She is absolutely

not

allowing someone who can’t bother to get up on time to stop her from parking her car. It’s not like they pay for the spot or anything, and she isn’t stealing the cones. So who cares?

Out of habit, Envy checks to make sure nobody is watching before she stacks the cones on top of each other and moves them to the grass. Someone will probably report this. Good, now she’s free to park in the spot that shouldn’t have had anything preventing her from parking there in the

first place.

Briefly, as the convertible roof pulls itself up, a thought flashes through her mind of someone messing up her car because of this. Though, she’s not too worried about that. Ebott just barely qualifies as a city, and everyone knows which car belongs to the woman who knows way too many forms of mixed martial arts.

… Well, that might have been the case two months ago when Ebott City had been ordered to be evacuated. Now, things were a little different.

As it had turned out, that child that had been presumed dead was very much alive. Not only that, but they had broken some sort of barrier and released an entire monster society that had apparently been living beneath the city for a

while.

It was historical, and had already been dubbed by online users as “The Ascension.” This led to the citizens of Ebott to do their own research in the library’s archives, where they found some telling historical records. Apparently, there had been some kind of war ages ago that resulted in humans sealing monsters underground using magic (which was real, and throwing scientists and historians alike into a sort of mass hysteria). Hence the evacuation, the investigation, the constant questioning of urban legends regarding monsters of any kind, and the documentary that a certain unnamed streaming service was trying to get permission to film.

Envy didn’t think that last one would happen, though. As far as she knew, monsters were currently residing in tents at the base of the mountain or something. At least, they had been. As of today, they were allowed into the actual city for the first time since The Ascension.

Hopefully, none of them owned cars.

Despite that, the downtown area is void of any life, human or monster

.

Maybe it’s too early?

She doesn’t dedicate any more thought to it than that.

Envy exhales, watching a cloud poof out in front of her as she walks down the road. It’s a cooler day today, which is good. There was something about the fall that made Envy… feel more at peace. Maybe it was the temperature, or the ambience, or just the fact that it was that time of year that Envy was able to ease into just before the chaos of the holidays hit.

Then Envy turns the corner, and notices a street vendor standing behind a surprisingly well-built stand. It looks like there’s some guy in a blue hoodie running it. She’s about to cross the street just to avoid what’s probably another scumbag that didn’t know Ebott’s name until a week ago until she gets closer.

Two things stick out right away. First, it seems like he’s asleep, which is odd. Second, the guy running the shop is a

skeleton.

Not an actual human skeleton—Envy knows what those look like, and this guy doesn’t carry the proper proportions of one. He’s a bit cartoony, she decides, a poor imitation of what an

actual

human skeleton is like, but a skeleton nonetheless.

Either way, him being asleep makes this a lot easier. If she doesn’t wake him up then she doesn’t have to deal with him. Crossing the street for good measure, Envy ignores whoever is behind the booth. Whatever he’s selling isn’t worth the—

Wait, is that the same booth? With the same guy?

Envy stops dead in her tracks, even looking behind her to double check. Sure enough, the booth—and the skeleton behind it—are both behind and in front of her. This time, though, he’s staring right at her, regardless of where she looks. Ugh, magic is gonna take some getting used to.

She just decides to keep her gaze ahead of her, walking a little bit faster than necessary. Hopefully, this guy won't start an unnecessary conversation.

“heya.”

Just her luck. “What.”

The vendor raises his hands. “woah, hey. no need to be hostile.”

“Actually, that depends.” Envy folds her arms across her chest. “Are you going to hassle me until I buy something from you?”

The vendor pretends to think about it. “dunno. does that business model work up here?”

Envy glares at him instead of entertaining him with a response. He must be uncomfortable, if the sweat that somehow forms on his bonebrow is anything to go by.

“… hey, lady, that’s your cue to… like… continue the conversation.”

Wow. Rude. “Is this how you treat all of your customers?”

“nah. you’re actually the first one i’ve had up here.” He fishes around underneath the stand and produces a small slip of paper. “here. have a discount.”

She takes it from his mitted hand, reading the scrawled-out text. In a perfect replication of the comic sans font, the following can be made out:

coupon for one (1) hot dog and slash or hot cat. use wisely.

- there.

There’s no way this guy

signed

his coupon. But that doesn’t answer the more prominent question that’s at the front of her mind. “… Who’s there?”

Her eyes widen as his smile does.

“toby,” he says, and she tightens her fist. Of course. Of

course

she’d fall for a stupid joke when she just happens to be heading for work. Which she’s probably going to be late for, if she doesn’t end this now.

“I don’t have time for this,” she snaps, pointedly ignoring him as he calls out

“you had time for the rest of this conversation!”

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The keys to the dojo slip into the door’s lock with relative ease. Envy pulls open the glass door, and it’s finally time to start the day. Her fingers tug her dark curls up into whatever qualifies as a ponytail, trying not to get caught in the knots and tangles that she knew were there. She kicks off her boots and grabs the broom from its designated corner, humming quietly to herself as she sweeps.

Envy doesn’t get a lot of alone time, despite her job. Actually, her job is probably the

reason

she doesn’t get a lot of alone time. She works with other people all the time so that they can learn to fight, too. Personal trainer, dojo instructor, professional torturer—take your pick. All of them involve working with others. And since she works with others so much, Envy has learned to value the alone time she has.

A frown creases over her skin as the broom gently brushes across the mats with her. Something feels… off. Like it’s

missing.

But what could it be? There’s not much to do in her morning routine, and she’s just gotten here. She goes through a mental checklist: apartment is locked, car is locked with the roof up, she has her gear, she’s starting off sweeping like she usually does…

Oh. Duh. The blinds. She forgot the blinds.

Envy tucks the broom underneath her armpit and heads over to the blinds, pulling the cord open to reveal a sunny, sunny day. It didn’t fit the temperature outside, which was irritating, but it made for a nice morning atmosphere. So she moves on to the next cord. And the next (which gets stuck), and the next, and the next (which

also

gets stuck), and the next.

When she pulls the last one, though, she doesn’t see a view of the city. Instead, she’s greeted with

another

skeleton fogging up her windows. He’s not the only one, either—there’s also an anthropomorphic fish woman taking up the rest of the space. They both look…

very

excited about something.

“IT’S OPEN!!” The fish woman jabs her finger against the glass, creating a smudge. Envy had

just

cleaned that, too. “See?! I told you!!”

“OF COURSE THEY’RE OPEN!! THEY MUST HAVE SENSED MY GREATNESS AND RUSHED TO OPEN THEIR… UNCONVENTIONAL DOOR!!” The skeleton is breathing so heavily, the fog is starting to distort the two strangers’ faces. At least, she thinks it’s the skeleton. “WORRY NOT!! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL ADAPT TO YOUR PRIMITIVE WAYS IF THAT IS WHAT IT TAKES TO SECURE EMPLOYMENT!”
Secure employment? Maybe it’s the glass, but there’s no way she heard that correctly.
… And that’s not the

Help Wanted

sign that they’re both eagerly eyeing in the window. The one she still hasn’t taken down despite nobody in the entire city meeting her standards. The one that is so obvious against the closed blinds of the dojo. The one that Envy is standing behind literally

right now.

It’s too early for this.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The door opens with a THWACK that Envy hopes conveys her annoyance at these two new faces. She also hopes that the door didn’t break at her action, because then she’d have to pay to get that fixed. Or at this point, just do it herself. Anyone who called themselves an “expert handyman” around here was usually someone who dropped out of college. Please go away, she thinks. But that’s not what comes out of her mouth when she opens it, instead opting for, “We’re still closed.”The fish woman snaps her head in Envy’s direction. There’s a sparkle in her eye, excitement pouring through her features as she jumps away from the window and starts flailing around.“HEY!!! Punk lady!!”Envy’s neutral expression doesn’t match her miffed tone. “Excuse me?”“Is this…” The fish woman doesn’t stop her theatrics, pointing dramatically at Envy before tilting into a Team Rocket-esque pose. “… your dojo?!”Envy doesn’t answer. She’s really just waiting for this stranger to fall down. It looks like she’s supposed to be leaning against a pole or a wall or something, but somehow she’s keeping her balance perfectly.A few more seconds of uncomfortable silence pass before the fish woman speaks again. “PAPYRUS!! Finish the pose.”The skeleton, who had been watching with equal confusion up until now, jumps up into a standing position. “YES, MA’AM!”His gloved hand shoots up to his forehead in a formal salute before he leans up against her, arms crossed over his… armor? Was he wearing armor? Who were these people?“WAIT. WHY DID I SAY THAT?” The skeleton, who must be Papyrus, glances over his shoulder at the still-unnamed fish woman.She groans in response. “I don’t know, Papyrus.”“I’M THE HEAD OF THE ROYAL GUARD NOW.”“Dude. I know.”“ACTUALLY, YOU SHOULD BE SPEAKING TO ME MORE RESPECTFULLY.”“Bro, fuck off.”“NO, DON’T BE RUDE TO THE HEAD OF THE ROYAL GUARD!!”“Dude, it’s been disbanded.” “OKAY, AND?”“Stop, you’re embarrassing us in front of the human.”“THAT IS ENTIRELY YOU.”“We’re gonna get fired before we get hired.” They’re fighting like children. Envy feels her fingers twitch. Was she really wasting her time watching this happen? She had to open the dojo in less than an hour.
“So!” The fish woman’s smile is annoyingly cocky. “Is this your dojo?!”Envy had always had trouble keeping eye contact, she would admit. She’s not sure she actually looked either one of them in the eye (or eyesockets) once during this… encounter, to put it generously. Maybe that’s why she doesn’t feel any kind of guilt when she intentionally and obviously glances anywhere but the two monsters standing in front of her.Why is she in this situation?“… MAYBE WE CAME OFF TOO STRONGLY.” Papyrus puts his hand on the fish woman’s shoulder. “MY NAME IS PAPYRUS, AND THIS IS UNDYNE. WE’RE BOTH SKILLED AND EXPERIENCED FIGHTERS LOOKING FOR EMPLOYMENT. AND YOU CANNOT DENY THAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR EMPLOY ERS!” He dramatically sweeps his arm towards the sign. Holy God , why didn’t Envy take down the sign.“You two need jobs, then.” She pinches the bridge of her nose. Despite outwardly showing her annoyance, Undyne and Papyrus still responded positively.“YES!!”“IF YOU’LL HAVE US!!”There was… a lot to consider. She didn’t particularly care if they were denied employment or not—it wasn’t her problem, she didn’t have to be the one to provide a solution. But in less than two minutes, she’d learned a lot.For example, she already hated both of them. Papyrus and Undyne combined had way too much personality, flamboyance, and general enthusiasm. She could handle those traits in small doses, but twelve-hour shifts in such close quarters on a daily basis? If she was annoyed now, she would be outright livid by the end of the week. Especially if they continued to fight like five-year-olds who were angry about stupid and insignificant things.But those were just petty things. Nothing she could base their work ethic or capabilities around.She allows herself a moment to analyze the monsters in front of her. He must be seven feet, maybe pushing seven and a half. He is massive. He looks like he could crush Envy if he got the chance. The most striking thing about Undyne, though, is her fiery red hair. Pulled in a high ponytail, it contrasts her aquamarine scales in a really pretty way. It’s almost enough to distract from the eyepatch wrapping around her head. But they both have one thing in common—they look like they might actually work out. Envy knows what a lot of training does to someone’s body, monster or not. Undyne fits the bill, and Papyrus looks athletic in comparison to the guy running the stand. They had also mentioned… what was it again? The Royal Guard, right? That sounded like a group of potential warriors. Or at least people who were extremely competent in fighting. And as much as she disliked their enthusiasm, it did show promise. They would probably actually show up to work. Unlike Jason. God, fuck Jason. He sucked.She thinks again, looking at the tear duct of Undyne’s eye. It was easier than looking her in the eye. “And everything you’ve said is true?”“Duh!! I was Head of the Royal Guard. Papyrus was my top student!” Undyne looks way too proud of herself. Envy keeps that part to herself.“You didn’t mention that.”“IT’S TRUE!!” Papyrus poses, his scarf blowing in the barely-present breeze as if there were heroic gusts of wind.Undyne fishes through her pocket, producing a scroll that unfurls into something surprisingly official-looking. “YEAH!! Here’s the king’s deed I have with me at ALL TIMES.”Envy leans down to read what it says. As of XX/XX/20XX, Undyne will be promoted to Head of the Royal Guard. After countless hours of hard work and training, it is of the Royal Court’s belief that this promotion is best for not only the Royal Guard, but the entirety of the Underground. This position may be retracted at any time should there be abuse of power, intentional ignorance of the law, abuse of employees, or allowing/endorsing any behavior in the Guard that may harm those it aims to protect. X X Well, that… looked surprisingly official. Except for Undyne’s signature, but Envy fully believed that was how she wrote. And if it was official, then she was really the ex-leader of the Royal Guard. Was it really a good idea to deny her (or Papyrus) a job opportunity?“I can set up an interview with you during my lunch break,” she suggests, because the answer to that question is a resounding NO. “Come by at around twelve-thirty.”Papyrus beams. “THAT SOUNDS ADHERABLE TO MY SCHEDULE.”“YES!” Undyne high-fives Papyrus. “I knew we could get a job before Friday!”“You got an interview,” Envy corrects. They ignore her, whooping and cheering as they start running down the street. A unanimous “YEAAAAAAAAH” fades into the distance as Papyrus and Undyne do.Envy isn’t too concerned. Irritating as they are, she’s certain the two monsters could land another interview before Friday. Whatever that has to do with anything.She heads back inside. Weird encounter or not, the dojo still opens in less than an hour.┍━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┑┕━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┙“So what you’ll need to do with your partner is—” Envy swings at the beginner student she’s called up to the center of the group, who blocks her punches and kicks with their thai pads as she calls out the sequence. “Jab, cross, fake a hook, roundhouse, teep. Got it?”Everyone watching nods in understanding, breaking off to start the exercise with their respective partners as Envy starts the timer. She makes the usual rounds: correcting stances, giving advice where it’s needed, answering questions. Her students are doing better than they were a week ago, and by this time next week she’s pretty sure at least three of them will be able to move up to intermediate. If they can hold their own against the intermediate students in sparring, that is.“You need to guard.” Envy grabs the wrists of a woman about her age, maybe a few years older, and raises them so that her fists protect her face. “If these aren’t being used for attacks or blocks, they have to be used to guard. Got it?”The woman—Minerva, maybe?—nods, then throws a jab. She retracts her arm, and it drops back to the position it was in before Envy had fixed it.“No, you have to keep it up.” Envy readjusts maybe-Minerva’s arm again. “Try again.”Maybe-Minerva throws a jab, and… nope. It falls again. And she doesn’t even seem to notice.Envy smiles tightly. “You need to keep your guard up.” The pad-holder turns to Envy. Her fists hold up to protect her face. Her fist slams against the foam of the pad, snapping back to the position it was in before. She repeats this a few more times, her punches getting faster every time. She ends it with a roundhouse kick, still keeping her fists up and in place. She never puts them down, but her pupils shift to the left. “Like that.”Maybe-Minerva doesn’t change her position, raising a confused brow. Then, her expression shifts and she turns as red as a tomato. “Oh! Oh, right.”The relief Envy feels as her student fixes her own mistake is nice.“Now keep it that way.” She nods and heads back towards the timer, which is about to go off. She’ll just incorporate jabs and hooks into the next set of workouts so that Maybe-Minerva can work on her guard.At least, she’s going to, until she sees someone standing quietly near the door.It’s a tired, grouchy-looking man with short, messy hair and the most accurate dad-bod Envy has ever seen in her life, even under his baggy leather jacket and stained white shirt. His dark denim jeans tuck into his muddied boots, one hand tucked into a pocket. It looks like he’s wearing a wedding ring, too.Is this another one of those reporters who’s still trying to get interviews from the citizens of Ebott about the “life-altering cultural shift” or whatever? Envy thinks back to a recently published article: The Living Dead Storm Ebott, Residents Left Traumatized. She wonders how global that story is now.Her eyes narrow at the stranger. If that’s why he’s here, then he can fuck off. Envy’s declined to partake in every interview since the Ascension happened—she’s not about to accept one now.Then his hand moves, and her eyes naturally follow it. To her surprise, it ends up on top of someone else’s head. A child’s head.The child looks… maybe eight? They have a short brown bob and a very neutral expression that probably mirrors Envy’s own. It’s a surprising contrast to the colorful outfit they’re wearing, which consists of a rainbow jacket, a shirt with a cartoon character Envy doesn’t recognize on it, and jeans. And… are those light-up shoes? When did they start selling those again?This man is not only not alone… but it looks like he’s a father. Huh. Maybe he’s not here to bother her with annoying questions regarding events from two months ago. She abandons her previous task, just adding a few more minutes to the timer. Her students can handle it, anyway. It’s not like she’s giving them no breaks.“Hi.” Envy approaches the unfamiliar father and child. “Welcome to my dojo. What brings you in today?”The father rubs the back of his neck, glancing around uncomfortably. “Ya got kid’s classes?”The question takes Envy a bit by surprise. Does she teach children? “No, sir.”“Well…” she’s pretty sure the father swears under his breath, but he sticks out his hand like he didn’t. “My name is Mr. Valtorta. Maybe you’ve heard of my child, Frisk?”Envy glances down at Frisk, who is watching all of the adults sparring with nothing but pure awe. “No, sir.”“Really.” He retracts his hand. Did Envy mess up? “They fell down the mountain, released an entire society of monsters…?”Oh. This was the kid that did that? They don’t look like much, if she’s being honest. But she squats down and extends her hand anyway. Frisk takes it after a nudge from their father, and Envy tries not to cringe at the fact that it’s sticky.“… Thanks.” She squirts some hand sanitizer on her hand and rubs it in. “So what does all of that have to do with my dojo?”“We’re looking for defensive classes for Frisk.” Mr. Valtorta scoffs and glances in the direction of the door. “Honestly, I don’t think this was an accident. Frisk was made fun of at school, and I think they got pushed into that mountain. I want them to learn how to defend themselves.”“… Ah.” A beat stretches out into a long, awkward silence.“So… you guys don’t do kid’s classes?” Mr. Valtorta rubs the back of his neck again, avoiding eye contact.Envy’s has strong opinions in regards to teaching children how to fight. She personally does not want to work with kids. But telling this poor man “no” after everything his family had been through? After what his child had been through? God would throw her into coal fires that powered hell’s torture.So, she doesn’t say no. She says something else. “… I can consider the idea.”Mr. Valtorta’s face brightens up. “Great! You gotta lemme know if you end up doing it. You got a notepad or something to write down my email or number on?”“Uh, yeah.” Envy takes five steps over to the carved-out piece of wall that she had hastily shoved a desk into. It doesn’t take long to find a notepad and pen. “Just write it down here, okay?”While Mr. Valtorta does that, Envy squats down to speak to Frisk. "Hey, no need to be so shy. I know this place looks scary, but trust me. Most of the people here are really nice."Frisk's eyes light up. Really? they sign.Oh, they speak sign language. Envy knows sign language. Her hands move to make her own words:
Yes, really!Frisk looks ecstatic
at the fact that Envy also speaks sign.
You speak sign! I've never met someone who speaks sign!! Except for Miss Annie. And my Zio Matteo. And..."Alright, kiddo. Time to go. It was nice to meet ya!" Mr. Valtorta takes Frisk's hand and offers Envy the notepad back. He pulls Frisk towards the door with a smile that instantly vanishes the second they step out to the press. He sneers something at them and ushers Frisk away.Paparazzi should be illegal, Envy thinks as she returns her attention to her students. “Okay, everyone. It’s time for…”She checks the clock. 12:20. Her lunch break was soon.“Cleanup,” she finishes. “Wipe off your equipment.”There’s a sigh of relief from the sweaty adults, all shaking off their pads or gloves and heading to get their water. Envy herself grabs a mop and starts wiping down the mats, tuning out the nearby conversations. Kid’s classes. The idea had been brought up by more than one person attending the dojo. She couldn’t begin to count how many times she’d been asked by parents, aunts, uncles, even grandparents who were just there to watch. But in her heart, Envy didn’t think she would ever start up kid’s classes. Especially now.She scratches out the possibility in her mind. No. Teaching kids how to fight was absolutely not happening. Never mind the fact that she was pretty sure she’d make any child cry, but Envy had a sneaking suspicion that her classes were too… intense for someone that young. She’d been told multiple times that her lessons were way too hard, to tone it down, blah, blah, blah. And she had, even though everyone who had been complaining had found something new and pointless to whine about a week later. The class is too hard? Sign up for a different difficulty. The easiest difficulty is too hard? Don’t come. … Yeah, kid’s classes were off the table.Envy places the mop in the bucket, making a mental note to replace the water later as her students file out of the dojo. She locks the door behind the last student to leave, automatically returning their “have a nice day” with her own “you, too,” and the sign flips from open to closed. Okay, finally. Everyone’s gone, including that stupid reporter, and it’s lunch time. Her favorite time of the day.Envy picks up the ugly brown paper bag from her desk labeled “lunch.” She clasps her hands together and bows her head slightly, a habit she picked up from a family associate through many shared meals. After a moment of silence (she was never sure what the family associate did during the times he was quiet before meals), she opens the bag and removes the glass tupperware from inside. The lid cracks open and steam pours out, a heavenly smell following it.One thing Envy could do from a young age was cook. She must have been nine or ten when she started to teach herself, never having a proper meal prepared for her. To this day, she still prefers to cook for herself over eating at restaurants or fast food places.Like today, for example: she had prepared camarones guisados for her lunch. If nothing else, she had this.Envy takes the plastic fork that had been wrapped in a napkin from the bag and stabs it into a piece of shrimp, getting some rice stuck on it before she chomps down.
Yum!
Her lips curl upward in a satisfied smile. Ah, she loves when a dish comes out good and she can just indulge in it. She sighs happily and goes to scoop another forkful of rice, quietly humming to herself.And then she stops.Because she’s being watched.Very obviously, by the two monsters who had come by earlier asking about job applications (what were their names? Undyne and Papyrus?). They’re just pressed up against the glass, again, staring at Envy as she eats like they’re stalking her. She stares right back, eyes narrowing, because of course they had to be punctual and interrupt the one time of day she gets to herself.Reluctantly, her lid closes against the glass and her lunch returns to the bag. Envy stands up, stretches, and opens the door.“Yes?” She asks, even though she knows why they’re here.“Hey!” Undyne waves proudly, facing her whole body away from a very confused Papyrus. “Thanks for giving us a chance!”“Uh, yeah.” Envy creases her brow, not sure if she wants to ask why Papyrus is… trying to remove the window panel? She gestures towards the door in an attempt to get him to stop doing that. “Why don’t you two come in.”Undyne grabs Papyrus by his wrist and drags him inside, a surprised sound escaping his nonexistent throat (it might’ve been a “nyeh,” but Envy isn’t sure). She steps inside after them, silently praying to whatever god is listening that they don’t break anything while they’re inside. As if, she chastises herself three seconds later.“Woah.” Undyne is looking around with her working eye, completely still otherwise as she observes the dojo. “Cool setup!”Papyrus shrugs, muttering something that sounds like, “It’s Alright. A Little Dated.”Envy chooses to ignore that. “I built it myself.”That’s kind of true. She built the training dummies and did a lot of the interior work. Again, most of the handymen in Ebott were useless. If you wanted something done right…Papyrus side-eyes Envy. “I THOUGHT YOU WERE A DOJO INSTRUCTOR?”“… I am.” Dick. Trying not to lose her composure so quickly into the interview, Envy slams her fist against a nearby punching bag. It swings a bit at the brief impact. “Let’s start with some physical tests. I want to see you two work the bag. Just show me what you can do.”“Alright! This is gonna be easy.” Undyne slams her fist into the palm of her hand, and then grabs Papyrus and pulls him in front of her. “GO GET ‘EM, YOU HUNK OF BONES!!!”Papyrus’ eyes boggle out in different directions. “NYEH?!?”What. “Uh—”“UNDYNE…” Papyrus bats his nonexistent lashes, his hand coming to rest on his cheekbone as he stares earnestly down at his companion. “WHY?”
What.
Undyne shoots him a thumbs up. “Because you’re the reason we even got here in the first place! If it wasn’t for you and your charm, the punk lady would’ve never even looked our way!! We’ll totally make it to Friday now!”Make it to Friday? Are they getting executed?Envy shakes the thought from her mind as the pair start celebrating with noogies and headlocks. She bites at her thumb nail, concern swirling in her gut. During both of their interactions, they’ve been easily distracted by each other. Hiring both of them is off the table, so she can only consider whoever does the best. Please don’t break anything, she throws out one more time.┍━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┑┕━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┙Undyne completes five thousand pushups. Papyrus completes four thousand, nine hundred ninety-nine and half of one before he collapses.Papyrus hits the bag with intense force, nearly knocking it off the hook. Undyne actually knocks it off the hook.Undyne crosses the finish line first in the sprint. Papyrus gets stuck on some kind of kid’s puzzle game Envy didn’t even know he had. During the spoken interview, they both show high capability of being able to teach others how to fight. But Undyne has the experience, according to both her and Papyrus’ testimonies.Now, there’s only one thing left to do before she dismisses them and comes up with a lie while they’re gone about why she could only hire Undyne: get their official documents.Which is something Envy should have done first, but she was caught off guard by these two showing up and putting on a weird show that was better suited for the theater downtown. Which is no excuse, but she didn’t think they’d come back after being so… informal.Envy clears her throat, clipboard in hand. “You both did great. But I need your official documents before I can seriously consider you for employment. Once I’ve done an official background check on you two, I’ll get back to you.”The silence that fills the room after that feels… off. “… YOU… NEED THEM?” Papyrus, for the first time, isn’t fully smiling.“Yes.”“TO CONSIDER US.”“Yes.”“FOR THE JOB.”“Yes.”Papyrus glances at Undyne, who looks back. Before Envy can question what they’re not telling her, the skeleton shoots to his feet in a frenzied panic.“WE… DON’T HAVE DOCUMENTS!!” Papyrus shouts. “PAPER ISN’T REAL. IN THE UNDERGROUND.”“Huh?” Undyne looks just as confused as Envy feels.“SORRY!! WE REALLY WOULD HAVE LIKED THIS OPPORTUNITY!!” Papyrus stares at Envy, his hands planted firmly at his sides in a weak attempt at a heroic pose. Maybe if he wasn’t sweating so much, it would look more convincing. “WE’LL HAVE TO LOOK ELSEWHERE. WHERE THEY DON’T NEED THAT SORT OF INFORMATION.”“A job that doesn’t require your documents?” Envy frowns. “There aren’t any jobs like that up here.”The little movements in Undyne’s body—her webbed finger tapping against her thigh, her eye scanning the room, her head bobbing slightly—all of it just stops at that statement. “What?”“I need to do background checks so I can confirm you two are who you say you are. That’s how all jobs work up here.”Undyne’s breathing hitches. “But—but I don’t have those anymore.”Oh. If that’s the problem, then Undyne isn’t even a possible candidate. It looks like Papyrus is the only viable option. Assuming he passes the background check.“WHAT? I THOUGHT YOU GOT NEW ONES FROM ASGORE!” Papyrus looks devastated at this information.“Pssh. Nah. I was way too focused on recovering anything I could after my house burned down.” Undyne waves dismissively for all of two seconds before her eyes shine with… excitement? “WHICH WAS FREAKING AWESOME, BY THE WAY!! You should have been there!”Papyrus glances at Envy, who is watching the two talk with mild interest. “Undyne, Maybe Don’t Talk About That Right Now.”“Oh, shoot. You’re totally right.” Undyne slings her arm around Papyrus. “So, uh… documents. Right. Don’t got ‘em. But this guy does!!”“Uh huh. If you don’t have the required documents, you can get what you need from the mayor’s office downtown. This details everything you’ll need to give me in regards to that.” Envy hands a sheet of paper to Papyrus. “Though, if you’re looking to get new information, you might not get it before Friday.”“… You picked up on that, huh?” Undyne exhales.“It’s not like you were hiding it.” Both monsters had mentioned it explicitly at least fifteen additional times throughout the interview process.“Yeah, well… we have to get jobs. To see how we ‘mesh with humans,’ or whatever the hell. That’s why we’re here. Friday’s the last day we can get a job.” Undyne nudges Papyrus playfully. “They gave us, like, two weeks to get ‘em, though! What’s wrong with humans, huh?!?”Envy raises a brow.“… No offense,” she sheepishly adds.“Regarding that.” Envy folds her arms across her chest. “I would go to the mayor’s office and ask if there’s any sort of extension you could get regarding your documents. She’s reasonable. She’ll probably take your side, if anything.”“WELL, WE HAVE TO GO ANYWAY. I DON’T THINK I HAVE A… ‘SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER.’” Papyrus rubs his chin as he scans the list he’s been given.“You will need one if you want to work here. If you’re still interested, just drop off a copy of the forms I need.” Envy bows slightly. “Thank you two for coming in.”“No problem! And, uh, sorry about earlier.” Undyne’s pupils flit towards the sad, sagging punching bag that she’d broken.“It’s fine.” Envy picks up her lunch bag. “I’ll fix it after I eat.”Papyrus and Undyne recognize that their time in the dojo is up, thankfully. They give hasty goodbyes and duck out of the building, once again leaving Envy alone with nothing but silence and a glass box full of rice and shrimp.She cracks open the lid again. The food has gone cold.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Envy did not expect a lot from Papyrus. She had learned over the years that it was smartest to go into any given situation with minimal expectations from the other party. Regardless of what, regardless of why, never expect anything from anyone. Maybe they’ll impress you, maybe they’ll remind you why the phrase “if you want something done right, do it yourself” exists.

It’s been two days since the most unconventional interview Envy has ever had the displeasure of hosting. She’s not sure why she expected him to be normal about giving her the documents, but given how he chose to do it she’s pretty sure he either has too much faith in others or has never heard of any crime ever.

For context, she’s standing in front of the (still locked) dojo, a box at her feet decorated with all kinds of ribbons and fancy bows. It makes an otherwise completely plain and uninteresting box the most eye-catching and obvious thing on the street. There’s also a note attached in a perfect mimicry of the papyrus font, written so boldly and in such large letters Envy doesn’t even have to squat to read it.

FOR THE DOJO LADY

- PAPYRUS (THE GREAT)

What an eyesore.

Did that moron really leave such important documents out here? Envy is surprised that nobody’s taken them yet. Maybe she just got really,

really

lucky and rounded the corner just as Papyrus was leaving. But it does look like it’s from Papyrus, given the overly-saturated decor and writing style. So she kneels down to pick it up, not really thinking much of it.

But it feels light. Too light. Almost like…

Envy flips the object in her hand over, and isn’t surprised in the slightest when she discovers she’s only holding the glittered-out lid. She knows it’s glitter, because it’s starting to get on her hands. And she can’t even wipe it off, because

then

it gets on her clothes, and the thought suddenly occurs to her that she needs to buy more laundry detergent.

Her head shakes at that, because that’s not a current problem. Her knee meets the pavement, lid set aside for now. She’ll just take this spaghetti and—

She does a double take. Wait,

is

that spaghetti? Envy isn’t sure she got enough sleep last night (that’s a lie, she always gets enough sleep) because otherwise the box of spaghetti she very nearly picked up isn’t a hallucination. Tentatively, she pokes it, and the cold noodles press back. There’s no other indication of how long they’ve been there.

Why is there a box of pasta in front of her dojo? Her mind rushes through several different possibilities before settling on the obvious one. One she had discarded earlier, which was as stupid as this situation.

Oh my god.

Envy pinches the bridge of her nose.

Please

don’t tell me someone stole the documents.

Why they had replaced them with spaghetti, she didn’t know. But one thing was clear: any consideration of hiring Papyrus was out the window. Because of course the only capable candidate is a literal

idiot

who leaves

sensitive government documents

outside in a comically glitzed-out box that might as well have said “take me!”

And the other one thought house fires were cool, but somehow Envy thinks she’d have preferred the fish woman.

Envy starts fishing around for her keys. It shouldn’t take too long for her to get a trash bag for these items and dump them in the outside garbage, and she dedicates no further thought about how she’s going to slot her time for opening tasks with this hiccup. She decisively slides the key into the lock and twists, pushing the door open with an all too familiar “the customer is here!” bell ring.

She’s also not sure how to react when she sees the hotdog stand guy, just

standing

there.

His back is to her, and he only looks over his shoulder when the door actually opens. When he sees her, the corners of his eyesockets crinkle (which, oh god,

don’t do THAT)

and his smile is full of mirth. “oh. heya.”
Oh, heya? Oh, heya? This guy just broke into her dojo and his response to her walking in on him doing whatever he was doing is oh, heya??
“How did you get in here.” It’s not a question, it’s a demand.

The stupid skeleton’s stupid grin doesn’t leave his stupid face. “door was unlocked.”

“No, it wasn’t,” she shoots down. “Seriously. How did you get in here?”

“the door was unl—”

“No, it wasn’t.”

She grabs the closest thing to her at the moment—which happens to be a particularly sharp letter opener—and points it at the intruder. “Who are you. Why are you here.”

To her surprise, he puts his hands up in surrender. “okay, okay. sorry. i’m not here to hurt ya, honest.”

She doesn’t drop her weapon.

“… uh, i’m sans. sans the skeleton.” He offers his hand. Envy doesn’t take it. It’s clear he was expecting her to, given how he starts to sweat a bit. Which, again, makes her super uncomfortable and absolutely doesn’t make her want to touch him.

“okay, maybe that’s not your style.” He puts his hand away and looks around, muttering to himself. “if paps is happy here, i guess…”

“Paps?” Envy asks.

“oh. right. papyrus, he’s my brother. he’s so cool. you made the right choice hiring him.” Sans pats a stack of papers tucked away under his arm that Envy somehow didn’t notice that he had until now. “that’s why i’m here, actually. i’m dropping some stuff off for him.”

Envy scans his face for any hint of falsehood. She can’t find it. “What?”

“papyrus. you hired him, right? i’m sans. his brother.” Sans’ eyelights dart towards the papers he has again. “these are his documents. that you said you needed.”

Of course. Of

course

this guy is related to Papyrus.

“Uh, yeah. I’m

considering

him for a position.”

“well, i hope you hire him. he’s been hyped about this.” Sans finally removes the papers from underneath his armpit (do skeletons have armpits?) and hands them to her. “anyway, here’s your stuff. dunno what’s on it.”

Finally. “Thanks.”

The papers feel warm in her hands. Freshly printed, probably, which brings up the question of whether monsters used scrolls or paper more often in the Underground. Not that she asks it, since it doesn’t matter and the thought’s already left her mind.

Also, Sans hasn’t left yet.

“Are you going to leave now?” Envy asks as bluntly as possible.

“nah.”

“Why?”

Sans

definitely

has an answer, but she’s got a hunch that it’s not to benefit her. Maybe it’s the way he’s refusing eye contact, or how his smile is stretching out just a little bit more than it was, or that he’s rocking back and forth on his feet. But Envy knows that face. The next thing he says is carefully crafted to get a reaction out of her.

“are you still hiring?”

She knew it.

Also,

what?

Her eyes narrow, and she’s considering using the letter opener as a threat again. “… Are you asking for a job after breaking in and entering?”

“the door w—”

“No,

it wasn’t.” Envy takes a deep breath, dedicating a few moments to just putting the documents in the top drawer of her desk. “Besides, I thought you ran that hot dog stand. Why do you need a job here?”

“ehhh. yeah, i

ran

it. past tense.” Sans shrugs without elaborating. “so, help a skeleton out?”

Envy doesn’t want to say yes. But she’s worked with a lot of people, including a lot of Sanses. It’s not hard to guess what he’ll do. This guy will probably show up and just start working anyway to get at her. He might not even demand a salary, just finding some sort of sick enjoyment in throwing her off her groove. Fine, she can play his game.

She leans against the desk. “Can you fight?”

“no.”

“Do you know anything about combat?”

“no.”

“Are you medically trained?”

“no.”

“Yeah, I thought so.”

“hey.”

She takes a minute to scan him. He doesn’t look like he’s much of a fighter, but he looks prime for sitting around all day and doing nothing. How does a skeleton get fat, anyway? It’s a mystery, she supposes. Just like what she could

possibly

offer Sans in terms of employment.

Her eyes land on some blank forms sprawled out on her desk. They’re for anyone who’s interested in enrolling in her classes. Though recently, she’s been asked to switch to online forms, which has been something she can’t really figure out. It’s not her fault she only recently learned how to make online forms.

… She has an idea. Maybe the

start

of an idea is more accurate, but it’s something she can propose to Sans.

“How about this.” She nods at her desk. “I can let you work as a receptionist. Have you handle registration and general customer service. There’s not too much of that, so it shouldn’t be hard. How does that sound?”

Sans stares at her, his expression as blank as it can be for a skeleton with a perma-grin. At least, Envy thinks it’s blank, but his tone sounds mildly enthusiastic when he says, “sure.”

“Alright. Do you have your docu—”

Envy is cut off with

another

stack of papers shoved in her face. It’s a bit thicker than before, she notices, but she’s not sure where Sans hid them if he had them on his person the entire interaction. She decides not to ask, reluctantly taking them.

“… Right, thanks.” She turns to put Sans’ documents away. “I’ll, uh, get back to you. Thanks for applying.”

No response. Envy raises a brow. Why isn’t he responding? Is he not listening or something?

She closes the drawer and turns around, fully expecting to see him wearing a Groucho mask or something. Maybe in a stupid pose, or messing with something he clearly shouldn’t be. Instead, he’s just… not there.

He’s just not there.

Envy can feel her nails digging into her palm as her eyes dart around the room and she fully registers Sans’ sudden absence. He’s not there. He’s not here. He’s somewhere else.

She just wishes she knew where.

┍━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┑

┕━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┙

Envy doesn’t open the dojo that day. She has two background checks to do, after all. And they’ve been taking up her entire day. Sure, she could have easily kept the dojo open and looked at their documents another time, but something, something, time constraints, Friday is soon, whatever. The time constraint was pointless, and she’s pretty sure they were set by people who glanced at the situation and dismissed it within the same minute.

Regardless.

She doesn’t care much for social media, but it’s a requirement to go through every possible nook and cranny when looking for possible recruits. Especially when one of them should have been put in the ground this morning, but she digresses.

Envy flips through Papyrus’ documents, which had been very… erratic in terms of how it was worded, and this page was no different. She’d had some hope that this would be formal and coherent, but it became very apparent very quickly that Papyrus had somehow taken control of his documents and how they were organized. She wouldn’t be surprised if they had just outright let him type out the entire document and print it himself.

She pushes that thought to the back of her mind. There’s a document to read, and it’s right here.

MY VERY COOL SOCIALS

✦ UNDERNET: COOLSKELETON95

✦ THIS IS MY PROFILE IN CASE YOU CAN’T FIND IT, BUT I AM VERY POPULAR ON THE INTERNET!! YOU SHOULD HAVE NO PROBLEMS.

Below that is a picture of a social media profile that definitely looksl ike it belongs to Papyrus. And it looks like a real social media site, too. But she’s never heard of the

Undernet.

Envy had been fully expecting to see something regarding Instagram or Twitter or another popular social media. Not something she had

never

heard of before.

When she searches it, though, she’s surprised at how many results there are. The first result isn’t even the site itself. Preceding it are articles upon articles of controversies surrounding the site—can humans join?

Should

humans join? Lots of race stuff. A few questionable opinions. Some guy who made a parody site called

Deltanet.

It’s pretty popular, but not what Envy’s looking for.

Finally, she just changes her search to

undernet social site.

Somehow, this filters out all of the pointless articles and only results in a hyperlink to the website. She clicks it, not really expecting much. And she doesn’t get much. It’s got a pretty Facebook-esque setup with pages that are titled very… accurately, she would say.

See Posts From People You Follow, See Posts From People You Don’t Follow,

and

See Posts From Yourself

are all existing categories. Old people would love this site.

Admittedly, so does Envy.

She clicks on the search bar, typing in Papyrus’ username. The search results in the same account he had screenshot and attached to his documents, and she’s very surprised to see that he did not edit the negative two followers in. Other than that, it’s about what she expected.

Thanks to the blatant naming that the site has elected to use, it’s not nearly as difficult to find his posts as she thought it would be. In fact, it’s pretty easy. She scrolls down, noticing she’s in the

This User’s Post History

subsection of his account. Photos and stuff he’s tagged in are also options. It’s nice, actually.
COOLSKELETON95 (posted at 9:30 AM, May 15, 20XX)
MY BONES ARE GETTING SQUISHYCOOLSKELETON95 (posted at 11:30 PM, May 14, 20XX)
WHAT IS PARTY CITY AND WHY DO THESE CHILDREN KEEP TELLING ME TO “GO BACK” THERECOOLSKELETON95 (posted at 11:21 PM, May 14, 20XX)
WAIT PULLED PORK HAS PORK IN IT???
Seems pretty standard. She continues to scroll, seeing a lot of posts about the skeleton’s life since he and the rest of monster society have resurfaced. The further she scrolls, the more it starts to develop into stuff relating to the Ascension itself and time spent in the Underground. Still, it never deviates from what a regular person would post online. At least, Envy thinks it doesn’t. She’s not an expert.
COOLSKELETON95 (posted at 7:30 AM, Sept. 27, 20XX)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BROTHER!! @funnybones92 @funnybones94 @funnybones96
She perks up a bit at the mention of a brother in Papyrus’ post. Sans, maybe? Still, why did he tag three accounts? That’s odd. Did they all belong to the same person?

Curious, Envy clicks on the users and opens a new tab for each one. Which ends up being pointless, because all of them—down to the date and time of each post—are the

exact same.

The only exception to this completely absurd rule is a post on funnybones92 with Sans in a top hat captioned “top hat.” It’s in cursive. Envy doesn’t want to admit it, but it’s kind of impressive.

Though, it couldn’t hurt to fact-check. Envy picks up Sans’ documents just to ensure that the usernames matched up.

Sans’ documents were the complete opposite of Papyrus’. They were neat, organized, and just generally very formal. Envy had to do a double take the first time she read over them, partly because of who they belonged to and partly because of the coupon that had fallen out when she picked up the documents for the first time since Sans had left. The front was the same, except Sans had signed his actual name instead of a setup for a joke. The

back,

however…

The back had a crudely-drawn picture of Sans holding a rose in his mouth, laying in a “draw me like one of your French girls” pose. In the corner, there was an added

thanks for buying

that had been scratched on with a barely-working pen.

No wonder his stand had gone out of business.

Envy rubs her temple.

Focus.

Just a little longer and the background checks will be done. She ignores the possibility of another coupon falling out of Sans’ documents to flip over to his credentials page.

Experience: PhD,

Woah. Wait.

What?

Envy reads and re-reads those two words, because that

can’t

be right. A PhD? In

what??

And if he was a scientist,

why was he applying

here???

Experience: PhD, ex-Royal Scientist,

God. Of course.

Of course.

Experience: PhD, ex-Royal Scientist, sentry.

That last one admittedly threw Envy for a bit of a loop. A sentry? That sounded like a pretty old term. She might have heard it once or twice in her youth, but she’d have to double-check the definition.

Clack, clack, clack,

goes the keyboard. Envy hits enter.

Sen·try

/ˈsentrē/

noun

1.

a soldier stationed to keep guard or to control access to a place:

"sentries patrolled the border"

A soldier?

That

guy?

Envy scoffs. The officiality of these documents didn’t matter. She wasn’t going to believe such a ludicrous statement. Besides, what series of events could have

possibly

happened in Sans’ life to allow him to be a soldier and a scientist in one lifetime?

… Actually, maybe it wasn’t that unbelievable. But if it

was

true, it was an impressive rap sheet. An overqualified person to be certain. He might be able to keep things organized, though.

Envy sighs and glances to her left. Her eyes land on the calendar, which displays the current date. It’s Wednesday—two days til Friday.

Envy looks out the window, her gaze settling on the sunset outside. It’s gorgeous, and a part of her wants to capture its essence in a Renaissance-style painting. But the sun is setting, and really, there’s only one day until Friday.

Why didn’t I take down the sign?

The ring of the bell hanging above the door snaps her back to reality.

Envy grunts, not even bothering to look in the unwelcome guest’s direction as she hastily closes her tabs and shoves the documents in her drawers. “We’re closed.”

“THE SCHEDULE SAYS YOU DON’T CLOSE FOR ANOTHER HOUR, THOUGH?”

…

No.

Sure enough, Papyrus is standing in the door. And he’s not alone—Sans is there, too, along with a third party that Envy didn’t expect to see. It’s the child that came in with their father the other day. They're looking around the dojo again, but it's hard to tell if they're interested or not.

What the—?

“FRISK WANTED TO SEE MY NEW EMPLOYMENT CENTER!” Papyrus is beaming, his tone far too proud for a man who’s background check hasn’t been completed yet.

Sans winks, mussing Frisk’s hair. “they’re stoked. trust me.”

Envy is extremely uncomfortable right now. She’s not really sure how to react, except to focus her attention on how hard she’s gripping whatever papers she’s holding. “Uh…”

“OH! I SEE YOU GOT MY DOCUMENTS!”

Envy’s eyes immediately flit down to check, just to

check,

if Papyrus is right. But he’s not. Because she’s not holding his documents, she’s holding Sans’ documents. Should she say that?

“These?” She waves the papers a bit. Papyrus nods.

Should she correct him?

Obviously.

“These aren’t yours. These are your brother’s.”

The expression on Papyrus’ face changes in an almost comical fashion. His jaw tightens, his bone brows narrow with an intensity that wasn’t there before, and his nonexistent eyes bulge out. That last one is really getting to her. Or maybe it’s the silence that’s getting to her, because nobody is saying or doing

anything.

Until Papyrus snaps towards his brother, rage evident in his tone.

“SAAAAAAAAANS!!!”

“sorry, dude. hotdog stand got shut down.” Sans shrugs.

“SANS, YOU’RE GOING TO

RUIN MY CAREER!!

MY FIRST DAY IS GOING TO BE A

DISASTER!!”

“relax, bro. she’s gonna let me be a receptionist. ‘s an easy job.”

“YOU MEAN SHE’S GOING TO PAY YOU TO SIT AROUND AND DO

NOTHING

ALL DAY??”

“if that’s what being a receptionist is up here.”

They’re… no better than Papyrus and Undyne. Actually, they might be

worse.

Though she can't help but wonder if Undyne ever got her documents or a job.

“OH! I JUST REMEMBERED!” Papyrus shouts, causing Envy to internally wince. “… DID YOU ENJOY YOUR GIFT?”

“Huh?” Envy asks, confused. Then she remembers the box she found at her dojo’s doorstep, and the spaghetti she didn’t eat.

“THE SPAGHETTI,” Papyrus confirms, as if he’s read her mind.

Envy spares a look at Frisk to see if they have anything to add to the conversation. They make brief eye contact with her, and make no indication of how they’re feeling or what they’re thinking… except for the fact that they seem a little tense.

“… I didn’t get a gift,” she lies.

Papyrus scoffs. “UGH!! THIS HAS BEEN

SUCH

A PROBLEM ON THE SURFACE. I DON’T KNOW WHAT IT IS, BUT APPARENTLY ALL SORTS OF CREATURES UP HERE JUST LOVE THE PAPYRUS SPECIAL. FEAR NOT, FOR I SHALL CREATE A NEW DISH JUST FOR YOU!! NYEH-HEH! HEH.”

If he wanted to, she guesses. Envy wouldn’t trust it, but she wasn’t going to go out of her way to stop him.

“ANYWAY, THAT’S ALL WE CAME HERE FOR. SEE YOU MONDAY!!” Papyrus waves and pushes the door open, going on a completely unrelated tangent about pasta to Frisk, who isn’t listening. This leaves Envy and Sans alone.

“what?” He asks, like he’s not the one choosing to stay.

“What?” Envy shoots back.

Sans stares at her, and it’s a little disconcerting having someone not blink at you for so long, especially when they finally do.

Especially

when they’re a skeleton.

“thanks for the job.” He throws a finger-gun in her direction. Envy internally winces. “but yeah, i should get going before paps burns down ebott trying to make you a new meal. see you monday.”

Sans moonwalks towards the door, tips a nonexistent fedora at her, and leans against the door to open it. He actually lets himself fall against the ground, and Envy can hear Papyrus yelling at Sans to get up and “stop being such a lazybones.” By the time Papyrus has hoisted Sans off of the ground and disappeared with both him and Frisk, the sun has finished setting and the street lamps are on.

Envy watches them leave. She hopes she doesn’t see them again until Monday.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

2:07 AM.

Envy has been staring at her phone, staring at the

time,

for who knows how long. It’s 2:07 AM, and just above the time is a painful reminder that it’s Monday. She should be sleeping, she shouldn’t be awake for another couple of hours. And yet, any attempt to sleep ends up being futile.

The phone is placed on the nightstand next to her and stares at the ceiling. She tugs her duvet over her, ignoring the shiver that wants to course through her body at the cold kissing her exposed skin. She presses the power button on her phone, setting it aside and rolling to face the curtains. Her eyes have adjusted to the dark by now since she’s been awake for so long.

She closes them and rubs the heel of her palm against her eyelids.

Blurs of light and color burn against her eyelids in the shape of a fucked up rectangle. It’s so bright, brighter than even the sun when Envy was stupid enough to stare directly at it when she was four years old. She was

really

stupid when she was four years old.

Envy wishes she could go back to being four years old sometimes. Or really, anytime before her sixth birthday.

But then I’d have to do it all over again.

The colors hurt to look at, and they’re starting to burn her retinas. So Envy starts rubbing the heel of her palm against her closed eyelids more than she was before. And of course, the harder she rubs, the worse it gets. But it has to stop at some point, so she keeps at it. Even when her eyes squeeze against her will to protect her from herself. Even when her brows knit. Even when she’s starting to see shapes and colors that don’t exist, at least ones that don’t exist when she’s not here. A familiar voice yells at her,

scolds

her to keep pushing to even further than beyond her limit. It’s gruff. Angry. Someone whose face she doesn’t want to see, and someone whose face she

will

see if she keeps at it.

It’s another voice, one that’s sweeter, that reminds her that she’ll hurt herself if she keeps at it. She’ll go blind, and that’s not something she wants to do to herself.

Envy blinks blearily, staring at splotches of light on the ceiling. They’re blurry. The fucked up rectangle is gone. Her eyes close again.

…

BWAPBWAPBWAPBWAPBWAPBWAPBWAPBWAPBWA—

It takes a few tries, but Envy does eventually silence the blaring alarm. She begrudgingly rolls back over, confused and tired as she lifts her phone. Why was it going off? It was on sleep mode, nothing should be interrupting her right now.

Until she sees the time: 5:00 AM.

Envy hastily turns her phone off and on, because maybe she’s hallucinating or her phone is broken or

something.

But no matter what, the phone doesn’t change the displayed time, and she’s definitely awake. Envy doesn’t have dreams, not usually, and the ones she

does

have aren’t of her checking the time in the morning. But there’s no way. There’s

no way.

It doesn’t even feel like a

minute

has passed. How is it

five in the morning?!

Still, that doesn’t change the fact she has to get up and get ready. Envy’s feet hit the cold hardwood, and she rubs her eyes to adjust them better to the dark. She walks down the hallway and flicks on the light to the living room.

Would she be wrong if she didn’t open today?

Probably,

her mind immediately supplies.

Envy sits down at the table, unsure of where to start. Her finger taps against the corner of the envelope she opened yesterday. It holds a thank you letter from King Asgore himself. She wants to burn it, but she needs to keep it.

She takes out the two hours sheets she was provided—one for Sans, one for Papyrus. According to the letter, payment isn’t a problem, so at least she’ll keep her income. But that didn’t fully satisfy her, because if they were well off financially then why did they need jobs?

That was a question she had meant to ask them on Wednesday, but never got to. A few answers had crawled into her mind over the days since she’d last seen them. Each one made her more anxious than the last. And as much as she didn’t want to consider the possibility…
Envy shakes her head. No, no. She was going to be reasonable, just like she had been taught. And reasonable people didn’t listen to those annoying voices in their head that were yelling at them about the worst possible scenario. Reasonable people didn’t get into the worst possible scenarios. Reasonable people, like her, had no problem working open to close with new and annoying coworkers.
Brown eyes stare at the clock.

It’s 5:07 AM.

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Envy was never allowed to watch movies (or any sort of entertainment), but this is what she imagines the scenery looks like in them. Dully-colored skies painted with the hues of a morning sun, the poorly-painted roadside parking spots, and the rays of light bouncing perfectly off of glass windows and into her eyes. It all looks picturesque.

Okay, maybe not

perfectly

into her eyes. Envy did put the convertible roof up when she was starting to struggle seeing four feet in front of her to use the visor. She leans back against the driver’s seat of her car. If nothing else, at least that was comfortable. And she got to watch the sunrise on her way to work, which was…

Fine. It was fine.

Envy pulls up to a stop sign and taps her fingers on the steering wheel to an improvised beat. For some reason, she always took a while at this stop sign. Probably to read the graffiti on the abandoned building next to her, which was usually some form of

“fuck the police.”

It gets cleaned every few days, and then replaced, and then cleaned again, and then replaced again.

There’s no graffiti today.

Her eyes naturally wander the street, looking for any pedestrians or oncoming cars, then skids off. Her hands automatically move through muscle memory, and it’s not long before she’s approaching the parking lot. There’s a few cars in the road, but she’s almost certain that they’re probably just respecting whatever ridiculous attempt that the parking spot sticklers are using this time. At least, that’s what she tells herself as she circles the parking lot again and again trying to find any available spot. Until she can’t, and has to accept that she’d be taking a

street

spot for the day, which is annoying.

After finding one that’s close enough to her work (but not so much that she’ll have to hear people talking about the car all day), Envy locks it and makes her way to the dojo, arms folded across her chest. Where Sans and Papyrus are more than likely waiting for her, if the former hasn’t broken in already. Which is fine, this is fine.

Be reasonable,

she reminds herself as she turns the corner to see the brothers. Sans is leaning up against the glass window while Papyrus attempts to open the door with little success. Great, they’re

both

intruders.

Envy interrupts before Papyrus can try pulling on the doorknob again. “You’re going to break the door.”

Papyrus jumps away from the door like it’s on fire, his hand shooting to his forehead in a salute. “YES, MA’AM!”

The silence that follows is a little (very) awkward. She tries not to shudder at the use of

ma’am.

She can’t quite place why.

“You don’t… have to…” she gestures at his hand, which he keeps up.

“IT’S A SIGN OF RESPECT!”

It’s making her uncomfortable, actually. “Please don’t… salute me. Just—what are you doing here so early?”

Papyrus complies, which makes Envy feel a lot better. “SORRY! WE WERE TRYING TO GET INSIDE THE DOJO, BUT WE COULDN’T.”

“I can see that. You know your shift doesn’t start until seven, right?”

“OF COURSE I DO!” Papyrus waves dismissively, like it was silly of Envy to even clarify this fact. “BUT IT’S LIKE UNDYNE ALWAYS SAYS! IF YOU’RE NOT AN HOUR EARLY, THEN YOU’RE LATE! AND BEING LATE MAKES A BAD IMPRESSION!!”

“yup.” Sans winks at Envy. “gotta remind ya that you hired the best of the best.”

This time, the silence feels like a ticking time bomb. That is, if Papyrus’ expression is anything to go by—which it is. “THE BEST OF THE—DON’T

LIE

TO HER!! AT LEAST I

TRIED

TO GET INSIDE!! YOU JUST TURNED THE KNOB A BIT!!”

“not true. i said ‘open sesame.’”

“AFTER

I TOLD YOU TO TRY AGAIN!! YOU’RE LUCKY THAT SUCH A COOL GUY IS HERE TO GET US IN IF ANYTHING HAPPENS.” He flips his scarf, which blows heroically in the non-wind.

“the coolest, bro.”

Envy elects to tune out the two, taking out the brass key to the shop and unlocking the door. She steps inside and beelines for the broom, like she usually does, and turns to the blinds to open them.

“UH, EXCUSE ME.” Papyrus’ voice rings throughout the dojo. Had this place always been so… echo-y? “WHAT DO WE DO?”

Envy stops and glances over her shoulder. Right, they were her employees, not just students or backdrop scenery. She had to…

train

them.

She pushes down the thought and looks at the broom in her hand. “Uh, Papyrus, you can sweep the dojo. Can you do that?”

Papyrus nods. Envy hands him the broom and turns her attention to Sans. “You.”

“me.”

“… How much experience do you have with computers?” Envy gestures towards the half-working laptop on her desk.

“enough,” he shrugs, and that’s too vague of an answer for Envy to be comfortable with, so he’s not using the laptop.

“How about this.” Envy opens the drawer and pulls out new forms for potential clients, along with some paperwork. “Go over these so you can answer any questions that you’ll be asked if someone’s interested in coming here.”

“kay.” Sans picks up one piece of paper and starts reading it. “page. one. section. one. article—”

“Read it to

yourself,”

Envy interrupts, earning a light chuckle from Sans. He’s smart enough to figure this out, she decides.

Papyrus, on the other hand, looks… clunky. That’s probably the best way to describe a tall skeleton attempting to sweep with a broom that’s a third his size. It looks like he’s trying to lead a much smaller being in a dance.

“THIS IS PROVING MORE DIFFICULT THAN I IMAGINED… BUT FEAR NOT! I HAVE GOT THIS COVERED!!!” Papyrus holds out his arms so that they’re completely straight, holding the broom so that his hands overlap each other. It looks a lot less like he’s about to start sweeping and more like he’s about to try out a new weapon.

“Alright, that’s enough.” Envy snatches the broom from Papyrus’ hands. “You’re clearly struggling.”

“THE BROOM IS TOO SMALL, IT’S NOT MY FAULT!”

“Didn’t say it was.” Envy grabs a box of wipes and hands them off to Papyrus. “How about you wipe down the equipment instead. It’s hanging on the wall.”

“YES, MA’AM!” He bounds off towards the wall she’s pointing at like he’s a dog fetching a tennis ball its owner had thrown.

The dojo falls into silence as Envy starts sweeping. The occasional flip of a sheet of paper or a quiet “nyeh” is a bit grating on her already hyper-aware nerves, but so far things are… functioning.

“I CAN’T OPEN THIS BLASTED BOX!! IS THIS SOME KIND OF JAPE?! WHY WOULD HUMANS SELL SOMETHING LIKE THIS?!”

The sound of a trombone plays.

“SANS!!

WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT PLAGUING MY LIFE WITH INCIDENTAL MUSIC?!”

“that you love it and want me to do it more?”

“SANS, I WILL DUST YOU.”

“pretty sure that’s workplace harassment.”

“IT IS NOT!”

“is too.”

Envy closes her eyes and tunes them out again as their argument devolves into yelling. She just has to get through today, tomorrow, and the rest of her life. That’s not so bad.

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┕━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┙

It’s been fifteen minutes since opening, and the only people in the dojo are still Envy, Papyrus, and Sans. Which is weird, because at least a

couple

of people would normally be here by now.

“god, i love this job,” Sans says, his hands behind his head and his feet kicked up on the desk. “i get to fill out my hours sheet by doing absolutely nothing.”

“You’re

supposed

to be going over the forms and paperwork.” Envy leans against the wall, her eyes resting on Sans’ nonchalant form.

“i’m takin’ a break.”

“It hasn’t even been an hour.”

“actually, i’ve been here since six.” He holds up a finger, and his perma-grin suddenly seems much more smarmy.

Before a response can roll off of Envy’s tongue, the bell hanging above the door rings. Standing in the door is a customer that she can’t remember the name of, but knows that they usually arrive late. Actually, this is usually the time that they’d get here now that she’s thinking about it. Envy perks up a bit, while Sans returns to his break.

“Good morning.” Envy straightens up and bows slightly. “I’m glad you could make it to today’s session. We have a couple of new recruits, so things will be slightly different than what you’re used to. The morning class is still scheduled to go as planned.”

The client standing in the door runs through about five changes of expression in the ten seconds it takes Envy to say what she said. Their pupils flit towards Sans, then Papyrus, then finally they land on Envy. “Woah, so… they’re really going through with that monster integration program, huh?”

Envy frowns. “Monster integration program?”

“Yeah, uh… you know, the whole…” Their voice fades out towards the end of their sentence, only picking up a sudden steam again when they start a new one. “A-actually, I left my gloves in the car. I’ll be right back, sound good?”

They push themselves away from the dojo, the door closing gently behind them as they practically run away. The words

monster integration program

bounce around Envy’s head like a ping-pong ball.

“huh… i didn’t think i smelled

that

bad today.” Sans lifts his arm and sniffs below his armpit, retracting almost instantly.

“woof.

never mind.”

Envy glances down at Sans. “You’re a skeleton.”

“i know,” he answers, and once again the conversation is cut off by the bell.

“Good morning,” Envy greets. Two women stand there this time, one looking visibly surprised by the unexpected additions to staff while the other just smiles warmly. “I’m glad you could make it to today’s session. This is Sans, and the skeleton squatting over there is Papyrus. Don’t worry, though. They’re both very capable in their respective fields.”

“Ohhh, fun! Hope you two aren’t worked to death.” The second girl sets her stuff down and shirks off her jacket. “I’m Rosie, this is Minerva. Most people call her Minnie.”

“AND I’M PAPYRUS!!” Envy jumps at his voice and how close it suddenly is. “TODAY WE WILL BE GUIDING YOU THROUGH THE MORNING WORKOUT!!”

She turns to scold him for doing something so potentially startling, but stops. She’s not sure when, but Papyrus definitely changed sometime between now and twenty minutes ago. He’s wearing workout gear that looks like it might

actually

be from the eighties, sweatband around the skull and all. The only part that hasn’t changed are his red boots.

“… Uh, right.” Envy recollects herself. “You two stretch it out, and then we’ll have you go through your warmups.”

The two women nod and start chatting amongst themselves, slipping off their shoes and sitting in the lotus position. Normally, Envy would help them out by pointing out what they were doing wrong, but today she has something else on her mind.

“What’s the monster integration program?” She asks, earning a single opened eye from Sans and Papyrus’ full attention.

“that?” Sans thinks for a second. “i think it’s a program the king set up with your mayor to help humans get more comfortable with monsters or something.”

“IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE THE FIRST STEP IN INTEGRATING HUMANS AND MONSTERS TOGETHER,” Papyrus continues. “THE DEADLINE FOR JOB APPLICATIONS WAS LAST FRIDAY. A FEW MONSTERS GOT SPECIAL EXCUSES BECAUSE THEY DIDN’T HAVE WHAT WAS REQUIRED, BUT IT TURNS OUT THAT THEY WERE THE ONLY ONES WHO COULD GET AN EXTENSION.”

“everyone else had to get some kind of employment. no job workin’ for or with humans, no place on the surface,” Sans adds. “i think that’s why the majority of us ended up working at places that were taking volunteers instead. you need more hours, but at least they couldn’t turn us away.”

“Oh.” Envy isn’t really sure how to respond to that. “I’m… sorry.”

“IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT. YOU’RE ACTUALLY ONE OF THE FEW HUMANS WHO DIDN’T REMOVE EVERY WAY TO APPLY TO A JOB AFTER THE ANNOUNCEMENT WENT OUT!!”

If Papyrus says anything after that, it’s all a blur to Envy. An announcement went out? When? How? How had she

missed

it?

“An announcement… like, on the news?” She tests.

“yeah,” Sans says, and Envy sighs in relief. Thank god. Everything that was being sent to her was still being delivered here.

She pulls the just-grown-out-enough curls that make up her hair into a short ponytail. “Alright. I think that’s that, then. Come on, Papyrus. I’m going to show you how the warm-up routine works.”

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┕━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┙

The rest of the day was a roll of the dice on how people would react to Sans and Papyrus being in the dojo. Some people pulled Envy aside and asked to cancel their membership entirely. She tells them to do it themselves on the website. Others said they would donate to the dojo to support a struggling business (what?). Most people saw the two and would be hesitant to enter the dojo, often giving an excuse about forgetting their gear before running off. One person actually accused Envy if she was just hiring them because she was being performative. Another reminded her that Halloween was a few months away. Whatever

that

meant.

Finally, lunch rolls around. It feels like a huge weight is lifted off of her shoulders when the clock strikes 12:30 and she can finally lock the door.

“Okay.” Envy dusts off her hands. “It’s lunch time. You boys have the next half hour off. Spend it how you like.”

Papyrus immediately starts digging through his bag, muttering to himself (which is something Envy didn’t know he was capable of). Sans watches his brother for a couple of seconds, shrugs, and nestles further into his office chair.

“HEY!!” Papyrus’ voice catches her attention. He’s holding a plastic bag with some condensation on it. Through the slight transparency, it looks like there might be some kind of food in there.“I GOT AROUND TO MAKING ANOTHER ‘PAPYRUS SPECIAL’ FOR YOU!! AS A CELEBRATION OF OUR FIRST DAY!!”

Oh.

“… Thanks. I’ll save it for later. I brought my own lunch today.”

Papyrus holds out the bag. Envy takes it, making a mental note to dispose of it later. Who knows what’s in there. She looks around for a place to put it, eventually settling on just shoving it under the desk. It doesn’t take long after that to find her own lunch and sit down on the mat, following her pre-meal ritual before opening the tupperware.

“YOU KNOW, WE SHOULD ALL EAT TOGETHER,” Papyrus notes as he scoots closer to her. “SANS!! COME SIT WITH US!! IT’S RUDE TO ISOLATE YOURSELF!!”

A loud groan is heard before Sans heads over to the pair of them. “i was gonna sleep through my break.”

“YOU’VE BEEN SLEEPING YOUR WHOLE SHIFT!!” Papyrus chastises before turning his attention to Envy. “I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU HIRED HIM.”

“He applied,” she answers.

“… I GUESS THAT’S TRUE. BUT UNDYNE APPLIED, TOO!”

“No documents, though.”

“oh, that’s why she didn’t get the job?” Sans leans back, his hands pressing into the mat. “i thought she was just too intense or something.”

Envy shrugs.

“… uh, okay.” Sans sounds a little bit more awkward now. “so, do you like working at the dojo?”

“It’s fine.”

“fine how?”

“It’s just fine.”

“YOU SAID YOU BUILT THIS PLACE, RIGHT?” Papyrus asks as he rubs his hands repetitively. “WHAT WAS THAT LIKE?”

“Hard.”

The silence stretches out, and out, and out. Envy is kind of hoping they’ll leave her alone and go somewhere else, but instead they just start talking to each other. At least, Envy

thinks

they are? She’s not really listening.

Until Papyrus says: “DO YOU THINK WE’LL SEE THAT CAR AGAIN?”

Envy glances up. “What car?”

“OH, THIS MORNING, ON THE WAY TO THE DOJO, WE SAW A REALLY COOL PINK CAR.” Papyrus starts making hand gestures that honestly have nothing to do with what he’s saying. “IT WOULD HAVE BEEN COOLER IF IT WAS RED, THOUGH. I MIGHT HAVE ACTUALLY RISKED MY LIFE RUNNING THROUGH TRAFFIC TO MEET THE DRIVER IF THAT WAS THE CASE.”

Envy isn’t entirely sure he’s joking. When it becomes evident that he isn’t, she asks the obvious question. “… Why? Would you do that?? If it was red???”

“TO BEFRIEND THE DRIVER AND GET THE CHANCE TO DRIVE THE CAR, OF COURSE!! IT’S ALWAYS BEEN A DREAM OF MINE TO DRIVE A CAR DOWN THE HIGHWAY… WIND IN MY HAIR… SUN ON MY SKIN…” Papyrus sighs and rests a gloved hand against his cheekbone, his expression genuinely peaceful. Then he frowns, his eyes squinting in an almost suspicious manner. “THOUGH… SOMETIMES, I FEEL LIKE I’VE ALREADY HAD THE CHANCE.”

“Probably deja vu,” Envy remarks. “But I wouldn’t recommend a red car.”

“HUH? WHY NOT?” Papyrus asks. This comment also earns a quirked brow from Sans.

“is there somethin’ wrong with red cars?” He asks.

“Well… yeah. They’re more likely to get pulled over by the police. So I just wouldn’t recommend it.” She bites into her stromboli.

“well, then what

would

you recommend?”

Envy swallows before speaking again. “Black, probably.”

“huh, okay.” Sans shrugs. “thanks.”

“YES!! THANK YOU, UH…” Papyrus trails off, rubbing his chin in thought before he suddenly lets out a gasp. “OH, NO!! DOJO LADY, THE MOST HORRIFIC THING HAS JUST OCCURRED TO ME!! YOU KNOW BOTH OF OUR NAMES, BUT WE DO NOT KNOW YOURS!!”

“True.”

“… AREN’T YOU GOING TO GIVE IT TO US?”

She should probably do that, but does she want to? No. Will it change things? Also no. What difference does it make? Papyrus wants it, and he’s putting her on the spot. Or is it her fault for making herself vulnerable to a situation where she’d have to disclose that?

“Envy,” she relays, speaking clearly so that she doesn’t have to repeat herself.

“ENVY,” Papyrus tests, nodding in approval. “I LIKE IT! IT SUITS YOU!”

“‘s a cool name,” Sans agrees. “wish my name was that cool.”

Cool? Envy wasn’t sure she’d heard that her name was

cool

before. “Thanks?”

“yeah. you could say i’m…” His eyelights dart towards Papyrus, who already looks mad.

“green with envy.”

“SANS!!!” Papyrus shouts, his hand smacking against his forehead.

“you think i’m hilarious.”

“MY OPINION ON YOUR HUMOR IS IRRELEVANT.”

“so you think i’m funny.”

“I DIDN’T SAY THAT.”

“you didn’t say you didn’t

not

say that.”

Envy resists the urge to shake her head as the siblings continue to debate what Papyrus’ true feelings towards Sans’ humor entailed. What a stupid argument.

So stupid.

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“… AND

THAT’S

HOW I FOUND OUT THAT THERE ARE AT LEAST

THREE

HUMAN WOMEN NAMED JANE ON THE

SAME TEAM

THAT WAS TRYING TO COLLECT ALL OF THE MONSTERS ON THE NIGHT OF THE ASCENSION? THAT WAS QUITE CONFUSING!! THOUGH, I CAN’T REMEMBER WHAT THEIR GROUP WAS CALLED. I THINK IT WAS THE… THE ‘FUZZ?’” Papyrus makes air quotes around the last word.

“Nobody has used that term since the eighties.”

“OH. THEY WOULD PROBABLY START AGAIN IMMEDIATELY IF THEY HEARD SOMEONE AS GREAT AS ME USING IT, THOUGH.”

Maybe they would, maybe they’d make fun of him. Envy thinks she can predict which outcome is more likely, but she won’t tell him that. Not worth the tears.

She runs her finger over the grooves and ridges of the dojo’s key, watching the clock change from

7:59 PM

to

8:00 PM.

The day is finally over. Envy stands up, disappointed in the lack of business today but glad that it meant they could actually leave on time. She didn’t like having to stay the extra hour for closing duties.

“Alright. Let me get your hours sheets.” Envy unlocks the bottom drawer and opens it. She searches through the stacks of paper. And searches, and searches, and doesn’t find what she’s looking for.

Maybe it’s in the middle drawer,

she thinks after closing and locking the bottom one. She double checks with a tug on the handle before trying the next one.

“you have our hours sheets, right?” Sans asks.

“I brought them with me today,” Envy confirms, closing the middle drawer after finding nothing. She repeats the lock-and-check process. “I can get new ones… I’ll make sure you both get your hours… it’s fine…”

She runs a hand through her hair as she looks through the top drawer. Nothing. Where could she have left it?? She had it in the car this morning—

Envy drops her hand. Oh, god

damn

it.

“I know where they are,” she sighs. “I left them in my car.”

Papyrus gasps dramatically. Sans shrugs halfheartedly. Envy taps her fingers against the desk, then turns to face them with an apologetic bow.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to forget them. If you want extra hours, I don’t mind signing off on them.” Envy doesn’t take her eyes off the floor. She waits for some kind of punishment for her mistake. God. Why now? Why did she have to be this pathetic? To forget

two papers?

Who was she, Jason?

“‘s fine.”

Envy stiffens at the words. “What?”

“‘s fine. we’ll still get our hours, right??”

Envy is afraid to look up, but when she does she sees two very nonchalant skeletons who don’t look like they have any intention of harming her. Skeptically, she answers. “… Yes. I’ll have you fill out and sign your hours sheets tomorrow. For now, just head home. Thanks for coming in to work today.”

Papyrus salutes. “YES, MA’AM!”

“Envy is fine. Also, don’t salute at me.”

“YES, ENVY IS FINE!” Papyrus looks over at Sans, who’s grinning widely at the joke.

“that was awesome, man.” The shorter skeleton elbows the taller one. “see? humor ain’t so bad.”

“I NEVER SAID IT WAS!”

“really? because earlier—”

“Humor is subjective. Now get out. I need to lock up.” Envy is not dealing with this

again.

The two skeletons wave goodbye before disappearing out the door and heading down the street. Surprisingly, the first day hadn’t gone

horribly.

Yes, she had been suppressing annoyance the entire day, but at the end of it all, she was getting some help around here. Whether or not she could

trust

that help remained to be seen.

Envy slings her bag over her shoulder, kneeling to grab her tupperware from beneath the desk. It’s in its usual place, which is good, but she admits that she’d forgotten about the bag she shoved under there earlier. It’s still filled with the spaghetti that Papyrus gave her, too, and she’s pretty sure the sauce has stained the hardwood beneath the desk. Envy groans, pulling the bag out and reaching for the box of wipes.

She tears a few pieces of paper towel from the nearby roll and puts the spaghetti on them. Though she’d never understand why, she finds herself feeling a little guilty at the prospect of throwing out the food. It would be a waste, and Envy wasn’t really someone who liked to waste. Especially food.

Maybe it’ll go in her fridge.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Lunch? Check.

Hours sheets? Check.

Keys to the dojo? Check.

Flipping off a news camera on the way to work and avoiding an interview from a far-too-chipper reporter? Check. Envy is all set to work another day with her new employees.

She hands each skeleton their respective hours sheets. “I’ve signed this for you and filled out your hours from yesterday. Please bring this back at the end of the day and I’ll sign it for you again until you reach the required hours.”

Sans just takes the sheet with a nod of approval. He folds it into an origami swan and stuffs it in his pocket.

“for later,” he clarifies when Envy throws him a look of confusion.

Papyrus takes his sheet gingerly, as if it’s going to break in his touch. He also can’t stop himself from doing a giddy little dance. “YES, MA’AM!! THANK YOU, MA’AM!!”

“It’s Envy,” she corrects again. “Sans, I have a lot of paperwork that needs to be complete by the end of the week. I also need you to double-check the equipment and make sure we have everything. Sometimes people take things home.”

“that’s not in my job description,” he jokes. At least, Envy thinks he’s joking. Hard to tell with that perma-grin.

“Papyrus,” she moves on. “If you could wipe down the equipment again, that would be great. I can start mopping.”

“YES, MA’A—” he falters under Envy’s corrective glare. “YES, ENVY!!”

“Thank you. Now, come on, we have only an hour til opening.” Envy clasps her hands together. Papyrus lets out a

“NYEH!”

and darts towards the equipment where the box of wipes is placed. Sans doesn’t move.

“… Is everything okay?” Envy asks.

“‘s fine.”

“Okay,” Envy brushes off.

She starts towards the mop. He follows.

She stops. He stops.

“Are you

sure

everything’s okay?” Envy asks, a little strained.

Sans lazily nods. “i don’t have any opening tasks. so, thought i’d spend the time i have getting to know my boss.”

“Get to know me how?” Envy reaches for the mop and dunks it in the water a few times. The raggedy wool

splats

on the floor and she starts pushing it back and forth.

“just conversation,” he answers. “like… what’s your favorite animal?”

Favorite animal? Envy actually has to think on that for a second. “Cats. They’re not as bad as everyone thinks.”

“cool.”

A long silence stretches out between the two of them. Why isn’t he continuing? Is

she

supposed to say something? That must be it.

“What about you?” She blurts out.

“what

about

me?”

“Your… favorite animal.” God, she feels like an idiot. And she’s certain she’s blushing. “What is it?”

“hm.” Sans rubs his chin in thought, eyelights breaking contact. It’s not until he speaks again that his gaze returns to hers. “our pet rock.”

“Your pet—you have a pet rock?” The ideal is ludicrous, but it wouldn’t surprise Envy if Sans confirmed it.

“yeah. we feed him sprinkles.”

“Okay, well… your pet rock doesn’t count. That’s not an animal.”

Sans clutches his chest dramatically. “he’s real to

me!”

“Favorite

real

animal.” Envy pushes the mop, really scrubbing a spot on the mat that looks darker than it should be. “Go.”

Sans sighs, as if to say

if you insist.

“there’s this dog we have. his name’s toby, but paps calls him ‘the annoying dog.’ i’d have to go with him, if we’re meeting your ridiculous qualifications of what is and is not an animal.”

“They’re not

ridiculous.

They’re

realistic.”

“you shame my baby boy, and now you shame toby?! too far.”

“I didn’t say anything about Toby,” Envy argues. “I said your pet

rock

wasn’t an animal.”

“we’re so gonna gossip about you later.”

Envy thinks about Sans gossiping with a completely unresponsive pet rock covered in sprinkles. The idea is so ridiculous she nearly cracks a smile. “I mean, go for it. Let me know what it says.”

“what

he

says.”

“Sorry. What

he

says.”

“that’s better.” Sans winks playfully. “he’s a sedimentary rock, so hearing this is gonna hit him hard emotionally.”

Envy is starting to think he’s serious about this pet rock. “I’m starting to think you’re serious about this pet rock.”

Sans gasps, his hands flying to his cheekbones, and—is that a

tear

in the corner of his eyesocket? “i’ve

always

been serious about him. that’s my

baby

you’re talking about.”

“Well, if you’re so serious about him, what’s his name?”

“hank.”

Envy stops mopping for a second. “… Hank?”

“i didn’t choose it. he did.”

“Elaborate.”

“rocks can talk.”

“That’s

not

elaborating.”

“you said i had to elaborate. didn’t say how

much.”

She can’t help but roll her eyes at his loophole. “Get back to your desk.”

“aww. c’mon. what am i even gonna do there? sleep?” He pauses at his own words, rocking back and forth on his feet as he eyes the desk. “… actually, that’s not a half bad idea. wake me up when we open.”

“Set a timer,” she responds.

Sans pulls out his phone and waggles it around. “will do, v. can i call you v?”

She nearly tells him off, but thinks better of it. “I don’t care what you call me, as long as it’s off the clock.”

“sounds good, v.” He winks and unlocks his phone, his thumb scrolling despite the thick material of the gloves.

She can’t be sure, but it looks like he’s writing something down.

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“Alright, class!” Envy clasps her hands together to grab everyone’s attention. “Today’s choreography is simple. Papyrus, if I could get your help.”

As requested, Papyrus steps in front of the class, earning a few polite claps.

Someone yells out, “Is he single?”

There’s an awkward silence, save for a few giggles.

“Andrea,” Envy calls out with authority. “I do not tolerate the harassment of anyone in this dojo. Am I clear?”

Andrea flushes a bit. “Crystal.”

Envy wasn’t going to push it. If she was shutting the hell up, that was enough for her. “Now, then. Pay attention to both myself and Papyrus for when you switch from pad holder to gloves.”

“First, you’re going to throw a jab, then a cross, then a hook.” Envy throws two punches into the muay thai pad Papyrus is holding up. He changes his position so that he’s holding the pads to protect his side, body twisted a bit along with it. “Next, you’re going to do a roundhouse kick.”

She swings her leg at the pads, a loud

THUMP

echoing through the dojo. She repeats the motion, slower this time. “Make sure you’re not hitting with your foot. That’s not going to give you the power you want. I hope you all understand the choreography. If there are no questions, we can get started.”

The class splits up into pairs, the buzz of conversation taking over just enough for Envy to hear her own thoughts still.

Papyrus hits the

start

button. Envy weaves her way through various kicks and punches, correcting even the slightest of things that were wrong. Some might call her pedantic, but she’s really just trying to do her job.

She adjusts the angle one of her students is holding their arm at. “Your arm should be straighter.”

“Swing with your hips.” Envy demonstrates with a brutal kick to the nearby punching bag.

“Don’t forget to guard.” She fake-punches at Minerva, who raises her hands to protect herself. She pats her on the shoulder. “There you go. Keep it up.”

Envy heads towards Papyrus, who’s carefully studying Phoebe.

“She’s Married,” he whispers when she’s close enough.

“What?” Envy blinks in confusion.

“That Girl Who Asked If I Was Single? She’s

Married.”

“Who, Andrea? Yeah, she’s kind of a flirt. I’ve seen her talk to any guy she finds mildly attractive.” Envy leans against the wall. “I didn’t know she was married, though.”

“She’s Got One Of Those Binding Rings On Her Finger.” Papyrus keeps his eye lights on her.

Envy can’t help but check to see if he’s right. Sure enough, when she stops to fix her glove, a glint of silver catches her eye.

Huh.

“I never knew she was married.”

“What Do You Think Is Going On In Her Marriage That She Feels The Need To Do This?” Papyrus shakes his head. “I Bet Her Husband Doesn’t Actually Love Her.”

“I don’t—

what?”

Envy isn’t sure if she’s more baffled that Papyrus is this quiet or the fact that he’s gossiping with her right now. “Why would you

say

that?”

“I Don’t Know. Undyne And I Used To Talk On The Job About Funny Happenings. If You Don’t Want To, I Understand. I’ve Been Told I’m Extremely Intimidating To Talk To.”

… Then again, this

is

the most entertaining conversation that Envy’s had in a while. “No, you can keep talking. Just don’t make it obvious and keep it down.”

“Perfect! I Love Doing Those Two Things At The Same Time.” Papyrus nudges Envy in a comically obvious manner. “Also, Her Right Hook Needs A

Lot

Of Work.”

“Oh my god,

finally

someone else notices.”

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Envy isn’t sure if she’d use the word

fun

to describe the time she’s had today. She’s definitely had a more

interesting

time than usual. It also turns out Papyrus and Sans are easier to talk to than she thought, which usually leads to unwanted conversations. She’s only

needed

to talk to them once or twice today, but societal convention’s a bitch.

She still isn’t sure about hiring them, though, since they

will not

leave during what’s supposed to be her single moment of peace during the day: lunch. Actually, it’s like they’re

trying

to stay, though she doesn’t actually know

why.

There’s got to be something wrong with them.

“ENVY!!”

Speaking of.

She looks over at Papyrus, who leaps and bounds towards her. He even throws in a few ballerina twirls for good measure, landing right in front of her and spinning several times before stopping.

“SOMEONE ASKED TO COME VISIT OVER LUNCH. YOU’RE OKAY WITH THAT, RIGHT?”

“Uhm.” Truthfully? No. “Depends who it is.”

“YOU’VE MET THEM! THEIR NAME IS…” Papyrus stalls for a minute, waiting for Envy to fill the silence with a guess.

“… Is it… Undyne?”

“NOPE!! SHE’LL PROBABLY COME OVER LATER. TRY AGAIN!!”

“Is it…” Envy pretends to eye the wall, looking instead at the door for a hint. She doesn’t finish her statement until she notices a father and child walking towards the door. “Frisk?”

“THAT’S NOT FAIR, YOU WERE WAITING ON PURPOSE.”

Envy doesn’t deny it, mostly because Frisk is already knocking on the door. They look so excited, and it does make her feel better that their father is with them. Really, who is she to deny the Savior of Monsters what they want?

She opens the door. Frisk waves hello with a giddy grin, signing as quickly as they can.

Envy!! Hi!!!

Envy smiles back. “Hi, Frisk. What are you doing here?”

I’m here to visit my friends for lunch!! And my dad wanted to talk to you about something.

For a second, she’s confused, but then it hits her—Mr. Valtorta wants to talk about the children’s classes he asked about however long ago. No wonder he’s here. That, and she’s pretty sure that Frisk’s parents aren’t letting their child out of their sight after The Tragedy of Mount Ebott. Regardless, she steps aside to allow Frisk in, dropping her smile as soon as they’re out of sight.

“Heya, Envy.” Mr. Valtorta approaches the dojo, looking more like a town drunk than he did last time. He smells it, too. The stench of smoke wafts through the air, increasing its intensity as he gets closer.

Envy will acknowledge that later. “Mr. Valtorta. What brings you here today?”

“Orlando is fine. And I’m jus’ here for a friendly chat. Didja get the classes instated that I asked about last week?”

Envy tries not to show her disapproval. He sounds like he’s her boss asking for an update on a project or something. “The kids’ classes? No. I didn’t. I teach intense classes that aren’t for children.”

Mr. Valtorta casts a glance to the side. “… I see. I thought ya said you would, though.”

“I said I would

consider

the idea. And I did. The answer is no.”

Mr. Valtorta puts his hands up defensively. “Okay, okay. Sorry. Just… Frisk is a target now, y’know? Y’can’t release an entire society of monsters and expect people to not know your name after.”

Envy bristles a bit. Of course she knew. And she would like to help, but… she can’t. She’s not sure why, but there’s something in her that won’t budge on this topic. Being in touch with her emotions wasn’t a strong suit of Envy’s—she often went through her days feeling quiet on the inside. Things had been annoying lately, but she’d never felt truly angry or upset. But right now… she could feel a ball of energy in her chest, the kind that made her want to reach in and yank out whatever was forcing it. The kind that grew stronger and stronger at Mr. Valtorta’s request.

She felt… icky.

Naturally, she ignores it.

“I’m aware, but… even if I taught your child to fight, there’s no way the media would accept I was doing it. They would think it’s a member of the Royal Guard or something, and who knows what headlines would come out of that. I don’t want them to be viewed as violent, or for their actions to be used against them. Besides…” she looks over to see Frisk playing a game of sorts with Sans and Papyrus. “They didn’t seem that interested in the dojo.”

Mr. Valtorta’s expression changes to something that could be labeled as either surprised or sad. “I… I know that. I jus’… how do I protect my kid if they can’t learn t’fight at the only place in this town that could let ‘em?”

“Well, they seem plenty capable of themselves, considering they survived the Underground all on their own, but…” Envy trails off. Should she even say the next part? “I’ll be honest, I don’t know how to protect your kid from these sorts of things. I’m not the person to ask.”

There’s a tender quiet in the air following that statement. Even moving seems like it would break it. Envy notices the slight sway of Mr. Valtorta’s arms, like he’s trying to stay still but doing a poorer job than she is.

“Would you… like to come in?” Envy offers, not really sure what else to do.

Mr. Valtorta nods. The two step inside, the door closing behind them. Mr. Valtorta beelines for one of the chairs that are usually used as storage by the students here. When he sits, Envy already has a scented wall-plugin at the ready.

“You smell like smoke,” she explains as she inserts the scented plugin.

Mr. Valtorta sighs. “Shit. Sorry.”

“I don’t tolerate cursing in my dojo, either.” She nods towards Frisk. “Not when there are children around.”

“Right. Sorry.”

“Let me know if you need anything. Water’s over there.” She nods towards the cooler and makes her way over to the game. Which, by the way, Sans seems to be the victor.

“gotcha, kid.” Sans doesn’t seem the slightest bit remorseful in his victory. Frisk pouts in annoyance turning to Envy the second she’s within range.

Sans is cheating,

Frisk signs.

He’s a complete liar!! He knows how the game works and he just didn’t get out when he was supposed to!!

For a minute, Envy debates on what to do. But… it seems kind of obvious. And as much as Envy doesn’t like to partake in whatever’s going on here, she also knows Frisk is essentially asking her to play. At least, that’s what she

thinks

is happening.

“A cheater, huh? I don’t like cheaters.” Envy sits next to Frisk. “I’ll be on your team, Frisk.”

“OH, SO NOW YOU’RE

TEAMING UP

ON US?!” Papyrus scoffs with feigned indignance. “IN THAT CASE, IT’S ONLY FAIR WE TEAM UP, TOO!! RIGHT, BROTHER??”

A mischievous glint passes through Sans’ eyelights. “if we’re playin’ teams, we’re playin’ teams.”

“THEN WE NEED A TEAM NAME!! WE’RE SKELETONS AND BROTHERS, SO NATURALLY OUR NAME WILL BE…” he pauses for dramatic effect. “THE HOT TAMALES!!”

“And we’re humans, and… not siblings.” Envy looks down at Frisk. “Any ideas—Frisk, are you alright?”

Frisk shakes their head. They look surprisingly disappointed. Was it something Envy had said?

Why can’t we be siblings?

Frisk asks.

I want a sister to be on a team with!!

“Oh. Well…” Envy isn’t really sure how to respond. It’s probably best to play along. “I… sure.”

It’s on!! I’ve got big sis Envy on my side.

Frisk folds their arms proudly, the disappointment from before slipping off of them like water.

Envy rocks back and forth on her hands, lifting herself off the ground for a moment before dropping herself on the mat again. “Well, as much as I’d like to play… I don’t know what you guys were doing.”

It’s easy,

Frisk assures her. They shoot a thumbs-up to Papyrus, which must have been some kind of signal or something because

he

starts talking.

“ALRIGHT, EVERYBODY, HANDS OUT!” Papyrus pushes out his arms, showing off the same open-faced palms he had out a minute ago. Sans, Frisk, and Envy follow suit.

“What… are we doing?” She asks, flexing her fingers tentatively. “Are we playing yet?”

“NOPE! BUT WE WILL BE IN A SECOND. DO YOU KNOW BASIC MATH?”

“Like… how to do it? Yeah.”

“GOOD! THEN THIS WILL BE EASY.” Papyrus holds out two phalanges. “HERE’S HOW THE GAME WORKS: SANS AND I WILL GO FIRST SINCE WE WON LAST TIME.”

“hold on, dude.

i

won the last game. don’t take credit for my win.”

“WELL, YOU WON, SURE. BUT WE’RE ON THE SAME TEAM NOW, SO THAT MEANS WE BOTH WON!!”

“And… how do you win?” Envy asks, trying to get the conversation moving again.

“RIGHT!! SO, YOU START WITH BOTH HANDS. TWO FINGERS ON EACH HAND.” Papyrus holds out his hands. “YOU CAN DO ONE OF TWO THINGS: TAP YOUR OPPONENT’S HAND, OR MOVE YOUR ‘STICKS’—THAT’S WHAT WE CALL OUR FINGERS IN THIS GAME—TO YOUR OTHER HAND. LIKE THIS.”

Papyrus taps Frisk’s right hand with his own. Frisk extends two more fingers—or should she call them sticks?—on their right hand.

“IF ONE OF YOUR HANDS HAS ALL OF ITS ‘STICKS’ EXTENDED, YOU’RE OUT. BUT YOU AREN’T FINISHED WITH THE GAME UNTIL BOTH HANDS HAVE ALL OF THEIR FINGERS EXTENDED.” Papyrus nods towards Frisk’s hand. “THEY CAN MOVE AS MANY ‘STICKS’ AS THEY WANT TOWARDS THE OTHER HAND, BUT THEY CAN’T TRANSFER THEM TO YOU. NOW THAT THEY HAVE FOUR, THE SMART THING TO DO WOULD BE TO MAKE SURE EACH HAND HAS THREE!!”

Frisk smacks Sans’ left hand with their right. Sans grunts dramatically and shoves his hand in his pocket.

“Wait, what? What just happened?” Envy asks. “Why is Sans out?”

“‘cause the kid had four sticks. add four n’ two, and ya get six. that’s more than five.” Sans shrugs. “so, i only got one hand. unless…”

He knocks his remaining hand to the left, taking out the hand Frisk had just eliminated. They both have one… finger? ‘Stick?’

Either way, Envy was starting to understand. “I get it. So I have to get rid of all of my sticks and give them to you two.”

That’s right!

Frisk signs.

Come on, big sis Envy!! Let’s beat them!!

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Envy didn’t expect to lose this badly. Despite there being no stakes except disappointing Frisk, Envy feels like there was something on the line every time she made a decision. Actually, she spent

too

long making some decisions, considering the amount of times everyone scolded her to keep the game going. Not that it mattered, because she was the first one out anyway.

“Sorry we didn’t win, Frisk.” Envy smiles apologetically. “We’ll get them next time.”

It’s okay!! We were playing against the biggest cheater I know.

Frisk pouts in Sans’ direction.

The skeleton only winks. “what? i had extra lives.”

“I see what you mean.”

Frisk signs something back, but Envy doesn’t catch it. Her eyes are drawn to the gesture Mr. Valtorta is making, asking her to come over.

“… I’ll be right back, okay, Frisk?” Envy musses their hair up and walks over to Mr. Valtorta, who looks more serious than he did before.

“Hey. I saw the ‘big sis’ thing.”

“I’m sorry,” Envy immediately apologizes. “They asked, and I wasn’t sure what to do—”

“No, no. Nothin’ like that. Jus’… look. I’m the one who should be apologizin’.”

What? “Why?”

Mr. Valtorta looks like he isn’t sure if he wants to say what he’s tempted to, but he gives in. “Frisk… they’re an only child.”

“Oh. Are they lonely?”

Mr. Valtorta falters again. He stares at the ground, not moving an inch before finally looking up again. There’s a sadness in his eyes that Envy can’t put a description to. What would cause that kind of look?

“They had a sister. She died before they were born, n’… somehow, they found out ‘bout her. They’ve been fixated on gettin’ a sister ever since. Or some kinda siblin’. And it looks like that’s gonna be you.” An extremely somber feeling crushes the air between them. “I don’t wanna put this kinda pressure on ya, but I think it’s fair that ya know. I don’t think this is jus’ part o’ the game to them. So…”

He trails off, and Envy doesn’t know what to think. Is this a warning? A request? Somewhere in between? This is a lot to take in. The breath she takes is steady, but still shakier than she would have liked.

“I understand. You two… are welcome in my dojo anytime. If you’d like to visit.” Envy doesn’t look away from Mr. Valtorta’s face. “I’m still not making those kids’ classes, but if you two want to come and say hello, then that’s fine. Is that okay, sir?”

Mr. Valtorta glances over to where Envy knows Frisk is, then sighs. “You’re far too kind. And like I said… Orlando’s fine.”

Envy wants to throw up at being described as

kind.

Or being described as anything, really. But she doesn’t say anything, at least not regarding that. “Of course. If I have to be a big sister, I don’t mind being Frisk’s. But let me know if they change their mind. I don’t want to impose.”

“Trus’ me, you’ll know if they ever change their mind.” Orlando (

God,

that sounds weird to say) stands up with a heavy grunt. “Frisk! Say goodbye. We gotta go.”

It isn’t long before Envy feels a pair of arms wrap around her. She doesn’t even need to look down to know it’s Frisk, and she returns the hug.

Bye, big sis Envy,

they sign.

Bye, Frisk,

Envy signs back.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Invidia Tirabassi was not an easy person to convince. Some might say it was an impossible task that only those willing to stoop the lowest of the low would be able to complete.So how the hell was she standing in the middle of her dojo, off the clock, hosting a party for its customers and some of Sans and Papyrus’ friends?“Bro. Sick party.” A horse-merman with muscles slings his muscular arm around Envy. This is my personal hell. “Glad you’re enjoying yourself.”“You know, I’m kind of getting this vibe from you. Are you busy tonight?”“Extremely. I’m hosting a party.” Envy sips her drink and slips away from his grasp.“Oh. What about after that?”God, this guy is relentless. “How do you know Sans and Papyrus again?”“Who… why would they matter?”“The people who asked me to do this. How. Do. You. Know. Them.”The horse guy doesn’t seem to understand her very simple question. Great. He’s annoying and stupid. And seriously, how is she in a situation where she’s hosting a party to begin with?… Actually, she might be able to retrace her steps.┍━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┑┕━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┙ It happened a week ago. Envy was in downtown Ebott on one of her few days off, not because she wanted to be but because she had groceries to buy. Still, quiet bliss is quiet bliss.
She picks up a fiery red tomato and inspects it, squeezing it slightly to check for freshness. The tomato resists against her grip, so she brings it to her nose to inhale its scent. It’s subtle. Earthy. Perfect for her tomato needs. And into the basket it goes.

She glides down the smooth tile floors towards the bakery. Soft, light loaves fill the shelves with the bittersweet scent of freshly baked bread. If she’s right, they have a sale going on for sourdough.

And… there! Sitting in the center of a wooden display shelf is the final loaf of sourdough bread. She reaches for it, her hand barely brushing against the plastic it’s kept in.

An intrusive red glove barges into her view.

Envy stumbles back, away from the threat. “Figlio di puttana! Chi diavolo—?”

“OH, I’M SORRY, MISS ENVY. DID I STARTLE YOU?”

… She knows that voice. And that glove.
Did Envy seriously just get scared by Papyrus? The guy who went on a twenty-minute rant yesterday about being jealous of a robot’s hair? God, what the hell was his name… Metal-tron? That sounded about right.
“Hi, Papyrus.” Envy glances at the sourdough bread, which he is now holding. “… Are you buying that?”

“HOPEFULLY! I DON’T KNOW IF HUMAN STORES ACCEPT G.”
Right, monsters had gold instead of any form of human currency. Something Envy also learned about yesterday. Her employees were just rich and probably lived in a mansion. Why doesn’t she just set fire to her dojo while she’s at it?
She shudders at the thought, then recomposes herself. What was she thinking? She can’t burn down her dojo. “I don’t think they do. You haven’t transferred the gold into human currency yet?”

“I’VE YET TO BE ABLE TO ACCOMPLISH THAT TASK.” Papyrus shakes his fist at the sky. “DAMN THOSE FASTEST PIGS.”
“Fastest—do you mean fascist?” “OH, NO. I MEAN FASTEST. THERE’S A PIG RACE THAT’S STOPPING THE GOLD TRANSFER FOR SOME REASON.” Papyrus shrugs with a ‘don’t ask me’ face. “APPARENTLY IT’S A THING AROUND HERE… BUT I’VE NEVER HEARD OF IT!!” “Because it’s not a thing? I didn’t even know this was going on.” Also, the mayor would absolutely not approve this. “Are you sure that there’s a pig race happening?”
“IT’S JUST AROUND THE CORNER,” Papyrus beams. “WOULD YOU LIKE TO ATTEND WITH ME?”

“Why not,” Envy agrees, mostly because she knows she’ll get dragged along anyway. There goes her peace and quiet. For a pig race.

At least she won’t be bored.

“HEH-NYEH-NYEH! WE SHALL ‘VAMOOSE’ POSTHASTE!!” Papyrus winks. “I LEARNED THAT ONE FROM ONE OF THOSE HUMANS AT THE PARK.”

Envy trails behind him as he starts towards the register, catching up and keeping pace with him only a few seconds later. “Why were you at the park?”

“BECAUSE IT’S A SURPRISINGLY FUN WAY TO EXERCISE!!” They slip in line. Envy counts two people in front of them, one of which leaves as soon as they get in place. She glances up to see if Papyrus noticed. His expression isn’t faltering, which is good. But being as obvious as he is, it’s also hard not to notice how he’s intentionally keeping his gaze away from her.

“Hey, uh…” The awkwardness almost forces its way into Envy’s voice. “Papyrus?”

“YES?”

“You… are you…” How does she put this. “Good?”

“DANDY.” His tone is short and curt.
Envy taps her arm, unsure of how she could possibly proceed with this conversation. She’s never really… been in this situation before, for lack of a better word.
“I’ll pay for your groceries.”

Why did she say that.

“WHAT?” Papyrus’ bone brows crinkle in confusion. “WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? I MEAN, IT’S VERY KIND, BUT I CAN PAY MY OWN WAY.”

“No, just… if they don’t accept your gold. I don’t mind paying.” Envy shrugs. “You said you were still getting your currency transferred, and… I just… thought I could help. Everything you have is pretty cheap, anyway.”

“OH. WELL… THANK YOU.”

“Uh huh.”

Envy almost wishes she hadn’t said anything at all as the pair approach the cashier. Immediately, they sigh. “We don’t accept monster currency.”

“GOLD,” Papyrus corrects, his hand going from whatever hammerspace could possibly be holding his wallet to the handle of the basket he’s set down on the conveyor belt. His voice lowers as he says, “I’ll Pay You Back. I Promise.”
┍━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┑┕━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┙“THAT IS NOT WHAT HAPPENED.” Papyrus, who had apparently shown up at some point, scoffs.The horse-guy looks almost offended. “Dude. She was telling a story. Let her finish.”“I WILL!! I’M JUST POINTING OUT THE INACCURACIES.” Papyrus delicately pulls the horse-guy away from Envy. Thank god. “I WAS THERE. I WOULD KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.”“But I didn’t—” She stops, staring at her drink. “I didn’t just tell you guys what happened, did I? I thought that was all in my head.”“Nah. Collective flashback. It’s a magic thing, but you gotta have a real good connection with the person telling the story for it to work.” The horse-guy attempts to wrap his arm around Envy. She grabs him by the wrist.“If you try that again, I’m going to throw you through the window and make you pay for the repairs.” She accentuates her threat with a maybe-stronger-than-necessary squeeze before letting go.The horse-guy grabs his wrist in pain, shooting her a glare.“Anyway… what’s a collective flashback?” Envy asks.“IT ISN’T REAL. HE WAS JUST ATTEMPTING TO ROMANCE YOU.” Attempt being the key word. “We have very different definitions of romance, if that’s what you call being romantic.”“I DON’T.”“Hey, I’m still—” the horse-guy cuts himself off as he winces in pain again. “Shit!”Envy watches with minimum interest for about three seconds, then fully turns her back on him to face Papyrus instead. “So then how do you know what I was saying if it wasn’t some collective-magic thing?”“YOU JUST LOOKED UNCOMFORTABLE AND I SAW YOU MUMBLING. WHO ISN’T TELLING A STORY UNDER THOSE CIRCUMSTANCES?” He nudges her with his elbow.Envy couldn’t believe what she was hearing. There’s no way this guy just butted in and said she was wrong without knowing what she was talking about. None of which she had the details wrong for. It’s more fascinating than anything, if she’s being completely honest.“And do you still think I’m wrong?”“OF COURSE.”Envy thinks for a minute. Should she entertain this conversation, or… return to the guy who’s currently in the fetal position on the floor—yeah, no. The answer is obvious.“Alright, Papyrus, if you think I’m wrong, then why don’t you—”┍━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┑┕━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┙
THERE HE WAS, GOING TO THE RACE OF THE PIGS. PAPYRUS, GREAT AND MIGHTY, PUSHES THROUGH THE GLASS BARRIER OF THE STORE (AFTER PAYING FOR HIS OWN GROCERIES) AND LEADS THE FAIR MAIDEN THAT IS MISS ENVY TOWARDS THE STREETS OF EBOTT CITY.

“NYEH HEH HEH!!” HE STRIKES A VERY COOL POSE. “ARE YOU PREPARED TO HAVE THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE WITH… ME?! THE GREAT PAPYRUS?!”

“THAT SOUNDS MARVELOUS!!” SHE FLASHES A RADIANT SMILE. “I LOVE SPENDING TIME WITH YOU, PAPYRUS. YOU’RE SO COOL AND NOT BORING AT ALL!!”
┍━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┑┕━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┙“Okay, that didn’t happen.”“YOU DON’T LIKE SPENDING TIME WITH ME?? YOU DON’T THINK I’M COOL AND NOT BORING??”“Wow, way to twist my words.”“AHA! SO YOU DO ENJOY IT!!”“Again, twisting my words. Also, why are you calling me a ‘fair maiden?’”“THE GREAT PAPYRUS HAS A STORY TO TELL, IF YOU WILL PLEASE LISTEN.” ┍━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┑┕━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┙
AFTER SOME… EDITORIAL ADVICE, I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAVE ELECTED TO CHANGE MY STORY TO BETTER REFLECT WHAT HAPPENED.

THE DAY WAS SUNNY, THE PIGS WERE FAT AND PLUMP, THE RACE HAD NO SHORTAGE OF SPECTATORS (MOSTLY HUMANS WITH SOME MONSTERS HERE AND THERE). IT WAS A GLORIOUS DAY!!

“SO,” THE GREAT PAPYRUS SAYS IN A SLIGHTLY LESS CONFIDENT TONE THAN HE USUALLY USES BECAUSE HE IS STILL LEARNING ABOUT HUMAN TRADITIONS, “PIGS ARE FOR ENTERTAINMENT UP HERE?”

“NOT TYPICALLY,” MISS ENVY RESPONDS. “WE USUALLY EAT THEM. MAYBE THEY’RE RACING TO BE THE ONE THAT GETS TO LIVE.”

SHE SNORTS AT HER OWN… JOKE?? PAPYRUS THINKS??? IT’S HARD TO TELL WHEN SHE’S JOKING AND WHEN SHE’S SERIOUS.

“I HOPE THAT ISN’T THE CASE!! SURELY, THEY’RE JUST RACING BECAUSE IT’S FUNNY TO WATCH THEIR LITTLE PIG TAILS BOUNCE AROUND.”

“SURE, THAT’S WHY THEY’RE RACING.” MISS ENVY LEANS AGAINST THE FENCE BORDERING THE STREETS. THE SUN GLEAMS OFF OF HER SHORT BROWN WAVES WHICH FRAME HER TAN SKIN. “HOW DID YOU FIND OUT ABOUT THIS?”

“OH, EASY!! I CHECK MY EMAIL SEVEN TIMES A DAY.”

“SEVEN? THAT SEEMS EXCESSIVE.”

“YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN YOU’LL RECEIVE AN EMAIL ABOUT PIG RACES!!” THE GREAT PAPYRUS POSES HEROICALLY, HIS BATTLE BODY REALLY ADDING THE FINISHING TOUCH TO HIS AMAZING PERSONA. RED BOOTS, RED SCARF, A GOLDEN SYMBOL ON THE CHEST—SERIOUSLY, THE DESIGNER KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING.

MISS ENVY’S VOICE CUTS THROUGH HIS THOUGHTS LIKE A KNIFE. A BUTTER KNIFE, THOUGH. “OKAY, BUT WHY INVITE ME?”

“WE’RE FRIENDS, RIGHT? FRIENDS SPEND TIME TOGETHER.”

MISS ENVY LOOKS… PUZZLED. WHICH IS GOOD! THE GREAT PAPYRUS EXCELS IN ALL THINGS PUZZLE-RELATED!! HE’S EVEN MANAGED TO JAPE HIS FRIEND WITHOUT TRYING!! WHAT AN INCREDIBLE SKILL!!

A FEW SECONDS PASS. “YOU THINK WE’RE FRIENDS?”

“OF COURSE!!” THE GREAT PAPYRUS SAYS. “I TOLD SANS BEFORE WE CAME UP HERE THAT I WOULD ATTEMPT TO BEFRIEND AS MANY HUMANS AS POSSIBLE. I MEAN, YES, YOU’RE BLUNT, AND COLD, AND STANDOFFISH, AND YOUR SOCIAL SKILLS COULD USE SOME WORK—”
“PAPYRUS.”
“RIGHT! BUT YOU’RE ALSO INTELLIGENT, A SKILLED FIGHTER, AND I KNOW YOU CARE ABOUT MYSELF AND MY BROTHER.” EVEN IF SHE STRUGGLES TO SHOW IT.

“YOU’VE NEVER SEEN ME FIGHT.”

SEE? SHE DIDN’T DENY THAT SHE CARES! “TRUE!! BUT YOU DO TEACH OTHERS TO FIGHT. I CAN ONLY IMAGINE THAT MUST TAKE GREAT SKILL AND KNOWLEDGE OF THE ARTS!!”

MISS ENVY SHAKES HER HEAD. “YOU’RE A CONFUSING PERSON.”
“AHA! BUT THAT IS THE GOAL OF EVERYTHING I DO!! PERPLEX AND STUPIFY OPPONENTS!!”
“I THOUGHT YOU SAID WE WERE FRIENDS?”

“OPPONENTS CAN BE FRIENDS!!”

MISS ENVY LOOSENS HER TENSE POSTURE, HER LIPS ONLY SORT OF POUTING NOW (WHICH IS JUST AS GOOD AS A SMILE!!). “YOUR PERSPECTIVE HERE IS… INTERESTING.”
┍━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┑┕━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┙“so that’s why you two were at the hog race?”“SANS!!” Papyrus looks a little irritated that he’s been interrupted. “I WAS RETELLING THE STORY OF… OF…”Envy raises a brow. “Of…?”“WELL, IT DOESN'T MATTER. I WAS TELLING A STORY AND YOU INTERRUPTED IT.” Papyrus flips his nonexistent hair. “YOU’RE LUCKY I WAS JUST ABOUT DONE.”Sorry, he was just about done? “my bad, bro. your storytelling skills are just so cool. had to listen in.” Sans wags a bottle of ketchup (that’s hopefully not actually filled with ketchup) in Envy’s direction. “kinda makes me wish i’d interrupted sooner, actually.”“The story or the pig race hangout… thing?”“oh, yeah. i was there, wasn’t i?” Sans turns and winks at the window. When Envy looks, nobody is there to receive it. Who the hell is he winking at? “i remember it like it was yesterday…”┍━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┑┕━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┙
so basically, i was with tori and the kid. i think their parents were fighting or something and they just wanted out for a few hours. that hog race v and paps mentioned earlier? yeah, that’s where we went. so we kind of just ran into v and paps. then we went to grillby’s. and that’s pretty much it.
┍━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┑┕━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┙Envy can’t really dispute what he said. “That’s… the most simple version of what happened, yeah.”“ARE YOU SERIOUS?! WHERE’S THE DRAMA?! THE ACTION?! THE BRAND PROMOTION!?” Papyrus scoffs. “THIS IS A DISGRACE TO STORYTELLING. TRY AGAIN.”“No, I don’t think we need to—”┍━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┑┕━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┙
since paps is insisting i try again, i’m trying again.

sans and tori were in charge of frisk for the day—apparently, their parents were fighting. something about the loyalty of frisk’s mom and how frisk’s dad’s decisions were actively hurting their child’s future. to be fair, neither of them were really great at making their points without yelling, so off to the pig race they went.

“what a lovely day!” tori pats frisk’s head. “i do hope you are enjoying your day out.”
the kid takes out their phone and types, i am. “yeah, you look like you’re havin’ a blast. this event’s definitely not boar-ing.” sans laughs at his own joke. tori laughs too. frisk just stares. “no, no! i have a better one. frisk, come here.” frisk approaches tori, who hugs them. she plants a big ol’ smooch on the top of their head, too. “hogs and kisses!”
“nice one, tori.”

she’s about to say something, but gets distracted. “hey, who is that with your brother?”

sans looks in the same direction she’s lookin’ at, and behold: v and paps, standing in the crowd and watching the hogs run home.

“that’s our boss. she’s kind of a tough cookie, but i bet she’d love you.” sans grins down at frisk. “the kid’s already met her.”
that’s my big sister! Frisk types.
“i see… if that is the case, then we must say hello!!” tori grabs frisk and drags them towards the pair.

sans just shortcuts. he misses the mark a bit, cutting between two crowd members who aren’t very happy that he just interrupted their kiss. with a quick apology, he shuffles off.

“… i thought you said we were friends?”

“opponents can be friends!”

oh, there they are.

“your perspective here is… interesting.”
sans can feel the pride swelling from his brother. “you really think so?”
“she’s right, y’know,” sans intercedes.

“holy—sans!! what are you doing here?” paps shouts. v is behind him with a pretty amused expression.

“i was just out with the kid and tori.” sans points in the direction of a familiar white and purple form coming in their direction. “they saw you and wanted to say hi.”

“who?” v asks.

with perfect timing, tori enters the scene with frisk trailing behind her. “hello, my child.”

v stiffens. “he… hello?”

“i believe we have not met. my name is toriel dreemurr, queen of monsters.”

“queen?” paps asks. “i thought you divorced your husband.”

“he needs assistance with everything going on, so…” tori’s face tints pink. “he asked me to assist.”

v looks more and more stressed with every word. eventually, she just bows in tori’s direction and goes back to watching the hog race.

“my child?” tori asks.

paps makes that shooing motion with his hand. “she’s just a little shy, your majesty!! and not very sociable in general.”

v glares over her shoulder at paps, her dark brown eyes piercing through him. not sure why she did that. he’s not wrong, and it was kind of funny.

“so what are you two doing here?” sans asks, leaning on the fence next to v. there’s lots of space, a fact of which he’s not sure is good or bad.

“we came here from the store. papyrus said something about a pig race, and not being able to transfer gold to human currency… and then he invited me here.” v jabs her thumb towards the pigs. “what about you?”

“we’re just takin’ the kid out for the day.” sans ruffles frisk’s hair, who is now standing between him and v. “home stuff.”

“ah.” v squats down next to frisk and says something. sans isn’t sure what, but she’s starting to point at the pigs and doing those hand motions that sans still doesn’t understand. frisk does them back, and it seems for a minute like they’re communicating.

“whatcha talkin’ bout?” he finally asks.

“frisk and i are naming the pigs,” v answers. “if sir oinkamus beats agent fifty-two, i owe frisk five dollars.”

“which one’s sir oinkamus?” sans asks. frisk points at a pig that’s nearly at the finish line. v fishes out something green and paperlike, thumbing it between her fingers.

“hey, hold on,” sans grins. “what about agent fifty-two? where’s he at?”

“he’s asleep.” v watches frisk as sir oinkamus crosses the finish line. they cheer triumphantly, fists soaring through the air and feet stomping excitedly on the ground. v hands them the crisp green paper. “and that’s five dollars down the drain for me.”

frisk starts rubbing their hand down their arm with the paper between them, throwing up peace signs and showing off the paper to whoever will look. tori high-fives them for their victory.

“you definitely ‘owned’ miss envy!” she laughs.

v shrugs halfheartedly. “i won’t deny it.”
frisk looks around the area for a few seconds, grabbing v’s sleeve and tugging it when they find the neon light that reads, grillby’s: grand opening.
“grillby’s?” v asks. “what’s that?”
a cold shock goes through sans’ system. there was no way, no way she had never ever tried food that could appease the gods. “you’ve never heard of grillby’s?”
“no.”

“well, do you enjoy food that is greasy yet appetizing?” tori asks.

“… not really? maybe? i don’t know. i’ve never really had anything i didn’t make myself.”

“except for my pasta!!” paps strikes a cool pose. v nods, her expression unchanging.

“so are we going to grillby’s? the kid seems to want to.”
┍━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┑┕━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┙“and then we went to grillby’s.” Sans sighs in a weirdly dreamy way. “it was the best experience of my life.”“YOU GO TO GRILLBY’S EVERY DAY.”“it’s always the best experience of my life.” Sans waves over at the fire monster working the temporary bar. “yo, grillbz! how’s the catering going?”Grillby, Envy had learned his name was, shoots a thumbs up in their direction. And… right. It’s not really his fault that she’s here, but he was the reason this party was being hosted. Kind of.┍━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┑┕━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┙
Envy had never been to Grillby’s. Apparently, it was a restaurant that had been popular in an Underground town called ‘Snowdin,’ which is where Papyrus and Sans live. It’s kind of easy to see why it had notoriety.

She steps inside to the warm lighting of the bar. Sepia-colored hardwood adorns the floors, complimenting the burnt-sienna walls nicely. Booths with soft seating, all occupied, rest on the rightmost side of the area. On the left, there are tables that match the wood of the floor, also all occupied. Dogs in various kinds of armor sit around the largest one, all playing cards. It looks like they’re playing some kind of poker game. Maybe? It’s hard to tell.
As Envy approaches, the soft jazz of a nearby jukebox gets louder. She risks a look, and above it hangs the purple and blue neon sign that loops into the word “Grillby’s.” A small margarita drink rests under the curl of the y, flickering every now and again. She sits, wondering silently to herself how the literal fireman behind the bar hasn’t burnt the place down.
“c’mon.” Sans ushers everyone else towards the bar, greeting every patron as he passes.

“WOWIE, SANS!! YOU HAVE A LOT OF FRIENDS HERE.” Papyrus bows respectfully when a few of the patrons call out his name, offering his own greetings in return.

“yeah, but you’re the coolest one i got, paps.”

Toriel sits down at the bar, with Frisk on one side and Envy on the other. “What a charming little place this is! I always tell myself, ‘I must return with Asgore sometime.’”

Toriel’s right. It’s charming, it’s cozy, it’s honestly quite nice. But that doesn’t answer her main question: how did a monster get the permits to open this place? Weren’t monsters not allowed their own business in Ebott yet? Sans had gotten his stand shut down, but Grillby gets a whole building?
And who is Grillby, anyway?
She watches Frisk slide the five dollars
towards the fireman. He takes it, not saying a word, and starts preparing a Shirley Temple for the child. Made of fire, but works with liquid. This guy is either extremely skilled or very stupid.

She opts for the former.

“heya, grillbz.” Sans waves when the fireman turns back around. “v, this is grillby. grillbz, this is envy.”
Does Envy shake his hand? Can she? Does it matter? She’s been burned before.
Envy extends her hand. Grillby takes it, brings it to where his mouth would be, and presses his nonexistent lips against her knuckles. He must be getting too close, because that’s the only explanation that Envy has for why she can feel her face burning up.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you.” She hastily takes her hand back. “So… you own this bar?”

Grillby nods. Not a talker, she supposes. That’s fine. After all, silence is a rarity in her life.

“yeah, grillbz has owned this place since i can remember.” Sans takes a swig from a bottle of… ketchup??? God, she hopes he’s messing with her. “struck a deal with the mayor to get this bar open. how’s business, by the way?”

Grilly manages to look dejected.

“not good, huh?” Sans sighs.

“Wait, what? What’s wrong?”

“he used to get enough business to pay rent. but snowdin’s rent is cheap. and apparently, g isn’t a suitable replacement for ‘actual human money,’” he airquotes.

“So he needs business.” Envy thinks for a minute. “What about catering?”

“catering? like for an event?” Sans asks.

Envy nods. “An event for humans who can pay him in the currency that the government will accept.”

“But what event could Mr. Grillby possibly cater for? As far as I am aware, there are no events going on after the hog race today.” Toriel taps her claw on the table in thought.
“THAT’S EASY!!” Papyrus points at Toriel with confidence. “IF THERE ISN’T AN EVENT FOR GRILLBY TO CATER, THEN WE GIVE HIM ONE.”
… Why is everyone looking at Envy?
┍━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┑┕━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┙And that’s what happened. Word about the event got around, mostly thanks to some other monster wanting to promote his brand of glittery food that was definitely not safe for consumption. Something about broadcasting the event with his “amazing legs” that would “draw people in for sure.” She’d told him not to include her face or name in the broadcast or air his show outside of Ebott, and the deal was struck. While she’s not sure what he did, it apparently worked.Then a spider monster heard about the event, and asked to cater, too. The prices were outrageous, but somehow she still ended up coming with her spider-themed desserts.But what really got people’s attention was that Frisk, the queen, and the king would be in attendance. She’s pretty sure the king didn’t show up—she knows what he looks like from a few news clips. Her Majesty and Frisk, however, did come. They’re not here anymore, but it was nice to see them again.She’s a little surprised that anyone was willing to come to this event, but it should be ending soon. Hopefully, cleanup won’t be too bad.Speaking of which… she needs to sign Sans and Papyrus’ hours sheets. They’re both getting some extra hours in for this event. They’re pretty close to reaching what they need for their submission forms.“Hey, do you two have your hours sheets?” She asks Papyrus. Immediately, his expression changes from jovial to confused.“WHY WOULD WE NEED THOSE?”“You’re getting extra hours in…? For helping with cleanup…?” Envy motions vaguely, looking for Sans. He’s disappeared. “Does Sans have them?”If Papyrus wasn’t baffled before, he definitely is now. “WHY WOULD HE HAVE THEM?”“I don’t know. Look, just… bring them in tomorrow. I’ll sign them then.”“SOUNDS GOOD.” Papyrus rubs his hands together. “SO… ARE WE DONE BEING YOUR EMPLOYEES AFTER THE HOURS SHEETS ARE FILLED?”Envy blinks in surprise. She wasn’t sure why, but the confidence she had of kicking these two out the second they got their hours in isn’t nearly as strong as it was a month ago. Maybe because she’s actually here, and actually doing it.Or she’s just not an idiot—this isn’t really a question she can say no to.“I…” She ponders over her words. She doesn’t want to choose for them. “If you want to quit, you can quit. But I won’t stop you from coming in.”Papyrus gasps. “REALLY?! WOWIE!! I GET TO WORK WITH YOU FOR AS LONG AS I WANT?!”“Sure.”“NYEH-HEH-HEH! I HAVE TO TELL SANS!!” Papyrus jumps up, clicks his heels, and dashes into the crowd shouting his brother’s name. What a weird guy.But she had meant it at the pig race—he wasn’t boring to be around. And neither was his brother. She’s not sure she’s ever met anyone quite like them. She certainly wouldn’t be here right now if it wasn’t for them.Envy decides two things right then and there. One, Sans and Papyrus were both two of the kindest people she had met. Certainly kinder than a specific group of people she could recall all too well. It was a nice change of pace, and she was finding that it wasn’t entirely unwelcome. She still wasn’t completely comfortable, per se, but… she’s an adapter.Two, she is never hosting a party again.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The quiet buzz and hums of various machines operating throughout the post office bounce through the walls of the far-too-crowded post office. Right now, she’s waiting for confirmation on a package she was supposed to receive a few days ago. It got lost in the mail, apparently. But Envy is going to lose her mind if the employee she talked to doesn’t come back from “checking the back” soon. It’s been fifteen minutes.Granted, that isn’t long enough for her to consider starting a conversation with someone else. But it is long enough for her to look up from her phone and see who else is here. There’s a lot of older residents of Ebott, mostly senior citizens, who are also probably waiting on packages. But she isn’t really concerned about them. She’s looking for one specific person: the only woman who has been here longer than Envy has.She glances at the bench she last saw the woman at, and sure enough, she’s still there. She has brown curls that droop down to her shoulders, sharply contrasted by icy blue eyes. In a black blazer with skirt and heels to match, she looks like she’s supposed to be at the office—probably late, given how she keeps checking her watch. As much as Envy doesn’t want to be pulled into the stress that this woman is radiating—mostly because she looks weirdly familiar—she does need to talk to her. None of the employees are available.Reluctantly, she walks over. “Excuse me.”The woman jumps a bit and looks up, tucking her hair behind her ear. “Oh, I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you there. How can I help?”“I just want to know if you’re still waiting on your package.” Envy keeps her arms folded, suppressing a sigh at the nod of confirmation she receives. Great. If she hasn’t gotten her stuff, then Envy’s never making it out of here on time. “Alright. That’s all. Thanks.”“It’s not a great system, huh?” The woman laughs, her hands running through her hair. “I come here early to try and get my mail, but the employees just disregard your time!!”Is this woman trying to talk to her—who is she kidding? Of course she is. Not responding would be rude (as much as Envy wants to do it), so she reluctantly offers an indifferent, “Uh, yeah.”“And you know, it starts off as just one package, but then they need your signature, and then they need forms, and then they need proof of identification,” she rambles on. “And now I’m late for work!! Again!! Because this is the only time I can do this shit, and my husband won’t get the mail—”Envy has already conjured up several different responses in her head, all that are some form of “why are you telling this to a stranger at the post office that doesn’t care?” The words so badly want to leave her mouth, but they don’t, so she just stares.“You agree with me, right?” The woman finally looks over at Envy, her face dropping when she does. “Oh, dear. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to keep you here with stories about my life.”“It’s fine,” Envy says.The woman smiles sheepishly. Then, her expression shifts. “… Wait, don’t you run the dojo downtown?” Shit. “Yeah?”“Oh, I think my husband was there last week asking about child programs.” She waves her hand dismissively. “Just… ignore him about that, okay? We’re still discussing what we should do, and I don’t want to pressure you to open up programs you aren’t ready to commit to.”It takes a few seconds for Envy to make the connection. “Wait, so you’re—?”“Mrs. Valtorta. Pleasure to meet you.” She grins awkwardly. “Hopefully.”Envy doesn’t take her hand. “You wouldn’t happen to take my classes, would you?”Ms. Valtorta shrugs. “I’ve stopped by from time to time.”Envy isn’t sure why, but that’s what confirms her suspicions. This is Andrea. Take away the makeup, done up hair, and fancy suit, and this is definitely Andrea. The married woman who hits on men at Envy’s dojo. Holy shit, she looks different. Almost like it’s intentional?As much as Envy wants to call her out, she knows it’s safer to just be quiet.“You know, it’s not even seven,” she redirects. “How are you late for your office job?”“I start early.”What a weird explanation. And probably a good time to end this conversation. “I… sure. Okay. Thanks for your help.”Mrs. Valtorta waves goodbye as Envy slips back into the crowd. Speaking of starting early, she needed to get to her own job. She could just come back later and pick up the package then, given how surprisingly active this place is. Still, it’s worth checking one more time to see if she could get an update. From anyone. She approaches the desk and rings the bell. Once, twice, three times. The ringing barely creases through the morning chatter. “Hello? Is anyone—?”Envy’s phone rings, interrupting her from speaking any further. She just kind of mutters an apology to the people she bumps into as she navigates the crowd before finally stepping outside, looking at the caller ID. It’s a number she doesn’t recognize, with an area code she doesn’t know.Her heart drops.No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO. NO. NO. That’s not possible. They couldn’t have found her already. It’s been two years. She hasn’t heard from them in two years. Her hands are shaking. The phone is shaking. The phone is ringing. She doesn’t want to answer it. She can’t stop the unrecognizable sensation of something scratching and clawing to escape her chest. But she has to answer it. She has to answer it.Her thumb draws close to the accept call button, not quite touching it, not bringing herself to, but she’ll be in more trouble if she doesn’t so she just gets it over with.“Ciao?” She asks, suppressing the vulnerability trying to worm its way into her voice.
“OH! MISS ENVY! I FINALLY FOUND YOU!!”
Huh? That’s not…
“IT’S PAPYRUS, YOUR GREATEST FRIEND!! HOW ARE YOU?”
Envy has never been so relieved in her life. It’s not who she thought it was—it’s Papyrus. Papyrus. Whatever was trapped inside of her chest disappears, or at least lessens, as she starts to process his voice.“Papyrus?” Envy is still trying to keep her heart rate in check. “How did you get my number?”
“OH!! IT WAS EASY! I JUST USED MY SPECIAL TRICK: DIALING EVERY NUMBER SEQUENTIALLY UNTIL I GOT YOURS!!!”
“That’s not—never mind. Why are you calling me?”
“HUH? OH! RIGHT. SANS AND I WON’T BE ABLE TO MAKE IT TO WORK TODAY.”
Envy furrows her brow, pushing herself off the wall and instinctively walking towards her car. “Why not?”
“APPARENTLY SOMETHING HAPPENED. I DON’T KNOW WHAT YET, BUT THEY AREN’T LETTING US COME DOWN TO EBOTT.”
“That’s fine, I’ll just have you sign your hours sheet tomorrow. You won’t be deducted for missing a day.”
“ACTUALLY, THAT’S WHY I’M CALLING. APPARENTLY, THE HOURS NEED TO BE SIGNED WITHIN TWENTY-FOUR HOURS OR THEY DON’T COUNT.”
That was news to Envy. And it was also extremely stupid. “I don’t really see the problem if you sign it late. They won’t know. It doesn’t matter.”
“NO, I’M STILL WORRIED. I’VE HEARD OF THIS THING THAT HUMANS DO WHERE THEY CAN TELL WHEN INK WAS WRITTEN ON PAPER. I THINK IT’S CALLED ‘INK DATING?’”
“That’s used to guess the approximate day, not the exact one.”
“PLEASE, ENVY! I KNOW YOU PROBABLY HAVE A LOT OF FAITH THAT THIS ISN’T GOING TO END BADLY, BUT I DON’T. I DON’T WANT TO SIGN LATE, I DON’T WANT TO LOSE MY HOURS, AND I DON’T WANT TO LIE!! I WANT TO COMPLETE MY TIME AND SUBMIT MY HOURS AND BE A REAL CITIZEN OF EBOTT.”

Envy feels something twinge in her gut at his words. She raps her fingers against the window a few times, then shoves her hand into her pocket. It takes about two seconds to fish out her keys and unlock the car.She tries starting a new sentence a couple of times before finally settling on what she's going to say. “Alright, I’ll just come up and sign your hours sheet. Give me ten minutes.” “THANK YOU SO MUCH!!” His voice fades the slightest bit, but she can still hear him. “SANS!! SHE’S COMING TO SIGN OUR HOURS SHEETS!! IT’S GOING TO BE OKAY!!!” ┍━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┑┕━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┙The Flamingo rolls to a stop at the mouth of the cave that allegedly leads to the throne room. Human agents stand at the gaping hole, half-doing what they’re supposed to be doing and half-passing the same blunt between each other. She wonders why nobody investigated this side of the mountain after so many accidents regarding it as she gets out of the car. With a satisfying click of the door shutting, she heads in the direction of the agents.“Hey, hey.” The first agent hurriedly stops her as she approaches. “You got a pass?”This was the first Envy was hearing of a pass . She knew something had happened, but what could possibly constitute a physical form of permission? “A pass?”“‘S required if you wanna go in.” The first agent holds out his hand expectantly.A pass. Okay. Envy holds up her phone and snaps a picture of the officers with their blunt.“What the— hey!” The first agent’s hand moves to his gun. “You’d better delete that. Taking photos of officers on duty is illegal!”“You know what else is illegal? Being drunk or high while on the clock. Especially as a government agent. Very unprofessional.” Envy shakes her head, slipping her phone in her pocket. “And you’re supposed to be guarding, too? For shame.”The second agent snorts loudly. “You don’t know who our boss is.” “I know Jane,” Envy says. “And Jane knows your boss.”“… Which Jane?” Skepticism fills the first agent’s voice.“Why, so you can threaten her? I don’t think so.”“We weren’t going to— just delete that photo!” The second agent grits his teeth.“Or what? You two are this close to getting demoted anyway.” She pinches her fingers, keeping a minimal amount of space between them. Then she presses her thumb and index finger together. “Unless… you’d rather be fired?”“Hey, hey, hey, woah.” Both guards hastily try to undo whatever damage they’ve done and put their hands up defensively.“I’m allowed through, then?” Envy folds her arms across her chest, boring her eyes through both guards as she swaps her focus between them. They nod rapidly and step aside, and she briskly walks past.Ugh, blackmail. Envy always feels embarrassed using that tactic. She’s not deleting the picture, though.She squints as she continues down the path. It’s too dark down the path she’s taking into the cavern, so much so that she has to rely on the echolocation of her footsteps to figure out if she’s going to hit a stalagmite or stalactite. The extra assistance of dragging her hand along the uncomfortably wet wall doesn’t hurt, either. Except for the fact that it’s uncomfortable. And wet. She suppresses a shudder, passes a light cast over a patch of grass, and continues into the depth of empty black. Is this a trap, or am I actually going somewhere? Envy thinks to herself, the echo of her footsteps warning her to turn left. Almost comically, she’s met with an arch of warm light framing a caramel-colored tile floor.She doesn’t hear anyone, so heads into the honey-tinted room. “Hello—?”Stopping dead in her tracks, Envy remembers an important piece of advice she’d learned in her youth. A warrior’s size indicates nothing of their ability to fight. She’s calling bullshit on that right now, though. Asgore Dreemurr is a mountain, no pun intended, and something else she’d learned in her youth was that anyone with his stature could generally win a fight against anyone with little problem. No wonder he’s the king.He stands tall and proud, a royal purple cape made of what looks like silk cascading down to cover his form. They reach golden shoulder guards that connect in the center of his chest with some sort of symbol. His hair of the same color waterfalls from his scalp, nesting the (again) golden crown that rests in between his two horns. The contrasting colors work surprisingly well against his pristine white fur, so pure in color that it makes the whites of his very eyes look a little gray. His eyes are also green in color, kind and inviting whomever they look at for a cup of tea and a chat.“… Your Majesty.” Envy bows slightly, shutting down every part of her that could get the king in her bad graces.“Howdy! This is a surprise,” Asgore chortles heartily. It’s a deep rumble that could have very well shaken the room.She furrows her brow and checks for any other form of presence. There is none. “Elaborate.”“I suppose I simply did not expect any humans to come down today.” Asgore shakes his head. “I also suppose I am still getting used to humans coming in from behind the throne. That is considered the ‘back entrance,’ if you will. It is not typically taken. But then, you would have had to come in through the front, would you not?”“… Meaning?”“Well, you would have had to throw yourself down Ebott. And we would not want that, would we?” He smiles, eyes crinkling, but there’s a certain guilt behind it.It goes unacknowledged.“I’m looking for Sans and Papyrus.” Envy explains. “They wanted me to come here so they could sign their hours sheets. Papyrus was worried about the ink being tested or something.”“Ah. They live in Snowdin. That is the town furthest away from the palace, save for the Ruins.” A thickly padded paw protrudes from Asgore’s cape, motioning for Envy to follow him. “Allow me to guide you there. The castle and the Underground can be quite complex for newcomers.”“Sounds good.” Envy trails behind Asgore. She keeps her eyes trained on the back of his head, thumbing the side of her knuckle.She doesn’t have to look at Asgore to know that he’s there, though—he has the sort of presence you can always see out of the corner of your eye if he’s close enough. Plus, his footsteps are rather heavy, a deep thump-thump-thump leading Envy in what she can only assume are long strides.They go through a few more rooms with long wooden tables and chairs, almost like a cafeteria that one might see in an old academic school. Another room holds three different fireplaces and plush furniture, all far too large to fit the average human but perfect for someone of Asgore’s stature. In that same room, there’s a spiral staircase with elaborate decor in place of the banister rails leading to the second floor, as well as several chandeliers and candles lighting the place up. It is, for lack of a better word, magical.“Do you like to read?” Asgore asks unexpectedly.Envy doesn’t know why he wants to know, but answers anyway. “I guess?”“You will love this next room, then.” Asgore peeks over his shoulder with a grin. “We are about to enter the library.”Envy follows him through one of the many grand arches she’s seen in the past few minutes, expecting a cozy collection of books near another fireplace and a plush velvet chair or something to that extent. So she has to admit she’s a bit surprised when she sees what the room actually looks like.It’s a grand room stuffed with rows and rows of books filling dark oak shelves, all of which decorate the edge of a carpet that rolls through the walkway leading to another section of the library. A golden hue lights the area through enormous glass windows, gently painting both the books on the other side and the thickly carved out fences atop the second level in its haze. Stacks of books are scattered around the room, made of books with varying topics and colors and girth, all miraculously standing despite their lack of structural integrity and all perfectly enticing.Envy can’t even bring herself to say wow, the grand sight filling her with such awe that she can’t bother to do anything other than admire what’s in front of her. She’d been to her fair share of incredible places, but also… this, and the rest of the castle, and the rest of the Underground, had been a few hundred feet below her for years on end? The thought was mind-boggling. Who knew what sort of knowledge these books possessed, how old this place was, what sort of secrets could be found here.“Impressive, is it not?” Asgore looks mighty proud of himself. “It is my favorite place for tea time. It took quite a long time to build.”Fortunately, Envy doesn’t actually spit out whatever shocked exclamation her mind conjured up at the revelation-slash-reminder that this place was built from the ground up. And that all of the books were bound, written, published, and stored in the shelves as well. Instead, she just heads towards the nearest shelves and runs her fingers along the weathered spine of a book entitled, ‘Book #2459.’ Fascinating.“… There’s a lot of literature in here,” she says, wistfully tearing her fingers off of the book.“Would you like to take a look around?” Asgore gestures in a way that might seem slight to him, but Envy swears she feels a slight gust of wind. “It is not often I get to share my interests with others.”“I…” Envy isn’t sure if this is a trick or not. It doesn’t feel like one, which adds on to the whole something-is-off-here-but-I-don’t-know-what aspect. “I still have to sign off hours for two of your citizens, Your Highness.”“Oh, I apologize! I forgot for a moment that you have duties to fulfill.” Asgore nods in… understanding? “I did not mean to stray you away from leading you to Snowdin. Come along. We should get there in about fifteen minutes.”Envy glances at the library one more time. “… Okay.”┍━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┑┕━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┙Envy ignores the cold kissing her cheeks as she moves forward. So far, Snowdin seems to be akin to a winter wonderland, with somehow unmeltable snow and an oddly Christmassy vibe throughout the village. Decorative lights have been hung up to further the jolly atmosphere, and there’s even a tree in the center of the village with presents beneath it. There are lodges, most of which seem to be built out of wood, evenly lined up throughout the area on just the east side of town. Envy makes note of remarkable places such as Grillby’s and the town’s ‘librarby.’ Monsters seem to have a strange patchwork of understanding as to what a human is—some understand perfectly, others have no idea, some are so-so. Envy doesn’t like the uncertainty, but it’s not something she isn’t used to.She trails behind the king as he strides down the path leading to Snowdin’s main town. He takes a sharp left, leaving enormous deep footprints in the direction of the single most ‘this is an important location’ house Envy has ever seen. It could not be more obvious that the house was a place of significance just from size alone. Though there are some other notable details—the overflowing mailbox next to the empty one, the pirate flag planted firmly in the thick layer of snow on the roof, the wreath on the door (seriously, is this Christmas City or something?) and the igloo between the larger house and what looks like a garage. Though, she’s not sure what vehicles would be stored there.“I used to come here every Christmas dressed as Santa Claus,” Asgore chuckles. “Ah, the memories.”“Who?”“Santa Claus. I thought humans were familiar with him?” Asgore waits for a response from Envy, who doesn’t give him one, so he just awkwardly continues. “He flies around in a sleigh… he has a bag filled to the brim with toys… and he gives them to all of the good children every year.”Envy wants to tell him how ridiculous that all sounds. But he is the king. “Never mind. I can check to see if they’re here, Your Majesty.”Asgore shakes his head. “Nonsense. Allow me.”He lifts a paw and gently knocks it against the door a few times. Envy hears two familiar thrums. One is loud, boisterous, and rattling in her head; the other is lower, more tired, like smooth jazz. They must be the skeleton brothers, which she discovers is only all too correct when Papyrus throws open the door.“AH! ENVY! YOU MADE IT!! WITH AN ESCORT FROM THE KING, TOO!! TRULY, THIS IS ONE OF THE GREATEST FEATS I HAVE EVER SEEN!” He turns away to yell over his shoulder just in time for Envy to process his completely embarrassing words. “SANS, WE HAVE GUESTS!”With Papyrus being as tall as he is, it’s easier to lower your field of vision if you want to try and look behind him. Which is what Envy does, and that’s how she sees Sans attempting to fix a TV that is currently on fire. Which would be fine, but his solution appears to be rather dangerous. Typically, pouring a bucket of water onto an electrical fire is a bad idea. Didn’t his documents say he worked as a scientist? She hasn’t even stepped into the house yet and she’s already annoyed.As much as Envy wouldn’t normally bother to help, she’ll probably end up going inside anyway to get the required signatures. So she pokes her head through the gap between the doorframe and Papyrus’ spine, earning a surprised squeak from the aforementioned skeleton. “Where’s your fire extinguisher?”“our what?” Sans stops just before the bucket tilts over to spill any water.“Your fire extinguisher. To put out fires.”“to put out fires?” Sans looks genuinely confused. “v. we got fire monsters down here. why would we invent a way to kill ‘em?”And yet Grillby’s business operates in the snowiest place on Earth, but whatever. They still have a problem to deal with before the house burns down. She doesn’t want the skeletons’ homelessness to inevitably become her personal problem.Envy pushes past Papyrus, ignoring Sans’ nickname. She also ignores Papyrus’ yelp as he falls and crashes on the ground. “Your Highness, stay outside. Sans, do you have baking soda?”“tons. paps is on fire whenever he’s in the kitchen.” Sans’ permagrin stretches out even wider, if that’s possible.“SANS!”“you’re smiling.”“I KNOW. SO STOP MAKING PUNS!! I HAVE A REPUTATION TO UPHOLD!!”“as the hottest chef in town?”
“SANS!!!”
“Guys. The fire.” This is such a pain in the ass. “Sans, get the baking soda. Papyrus, turn off the power generator. I’ll handle it from there.”Sans waves a mitted hand, nearly dropping the bucket. He catches the water with his magic, transporting it back into the bucket and clutching it close to his chest. Some of it must have gotten on his skull, because otherwise he was sweating in the literal tundra, and that was just bullshit. “oh, no. paps can get the baking soda. i’ll handle the generator.”He vanishes before Envy has a chance to argue, leaving the bucket behind. And while she’s glad things are getting done, she also wonders what’s so important about the generator.A light clanging returns her attention to Papyrus, who is rubbing his head and sitting up in a pile of pots and pans that were definitely not there when he fell. What’s weirder is that she’s pretty sure they’re multiplying every time he moves. Seriously, where did those come from?“… Hey. Papyrus. Can you get the baking soda?” Envy gestures towards the kitchen.He shoots to his feet and salutes, an additional twenty pots and pans clanging around as he does. A “YES, MISS ENVY!” spills out through his teeth before he clambers off to the kitchen. Envy doesn’t react to the comically loud crash, or the cat’s yowl that follows seconds later.“Well, this seems like an undesirable situation,” Asgore comments from his spot next to Envy.“You’re telling me,” she grunts back.A beat passes. Realization clocks Envy over the head like a metal bat.She’s perfectly still, but her eyes are glued to the king. “Your Majesty, what are you doing in here?”“As a king, it is my duty to protect my citizens,” he answers.“Respectfully, I don’t think this is a situation where your help is warranted. You would be safer outside.”“I assure you, I have led monsterkind through much more dire dangers than a mere fire.”“That’s not the point—”“I’VE GOT THE BAKING SODA!”The argument is cut off by Papyrus running back into the room with a bag (yes, a bag) of baking soda. In slow motion. Which would be more impressive if there wasn’t the immediate and imperative problem of a fire. I’ll just take it myself, she thinks, her eyes landing on the bag.The open bag.Papyrus starts coughing, also in slow-motion, as some of the baking soda spills out of the bag and into his face. And he’s about to trip over one of the pots that mysteriously appeared earlier.Envy doesn’t bother warning Papyrus. She pushes Asgore out of the way, taking the blow that is the wave of baking soda crashing down when Papyrus’ foot hooks the pot. Her eyes screw shut, preparing for the impact. She expects it to feel like snow, or salt.… But she doesn’t feel anything.When Envy opens her eyes, she sees something rather surprising. Sans has reappeared in front of her, and he’s caked in the baking soda that would have hit Envy. Despite him standing at a comfortable 5’5” and Envy having five inches on him, not a single speck landed on her.Sans coughs out a cream-colored cloud of what Envy can only assume is the baking soda. “oh god. it’s in my skull.”He flops directly on his face, not even trying to stop himself from hitting the ground. “SANS!!!” Papyrus screams, falling to his knees. As in, he stands back up just to fall to his knees again.Asgore rushes to Sans’ side, hand worriedly hovering over him. “Oh, dear. Is he okay?”“I DON’T KNOW!! IT’S NOT USUALLY A GOOD IDEA TO GET THAT MUCH BAKING SODA INTO ANYBODY’S SYSTEM!!”Well, this has escalated into a completely unnecessary situation. But Sans did stop her from getting covered in baking soda. So, Envy kneels down next to the (presumably) unconscious skeleton and does the only thing she can think to do: force his sockets open and start shaking out what she can.Not that she gets to actually do that, because Papyrus stops her. “WAIT, ENVY!! AS MUCH AS I UNDERSTAND YOUR GESTURE, I THINK IT’S IMPORTANT TO TAKE… OTHER APPROACHES BEFORE YOU GO TO THE EXTREME.”Which meant it was time for Plan B: blow into one socket and hope that the remains of the baking soda shoot out of the other (according to Papyrus, this is more ethical and also standard procedure). With Asgore holding open Sans’ sockets and Papyrus confirming that he was still knocked out, all that was left was for Envy to lean down and blow. So she does just that, leaning her torso over Sans’ blacked-out sockets (which look sort of creepy) to sharply exhale.The last thing Envy remembers before blacking out is Sans shooting up and smacking his forehead directly against hers.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

When Envy wakes up, the first thing that fully processes in her mind is how hot she is. As in, her body is overheating—she’s got way too many blankets on her, even in this cold.

Wait, why does she have blankets on her? Where is she?

She blinks a few times. Blurry blobs slowly start to transform into recognizable shapes. She thinks she’s on a sofa that’s way too green for her to look at without it hurting her eyes right now. And it doesn’t compliment the walls at all. Or the carpet, which is striped in the worst shades of blue and purple you could put next to each other. Her eyes land the burnt remains of a television. Ugh. They didn’t even bother to get rid of that. Seriously, this whole room sucks. Who designed it?

… Oh, wait. The TV isn’t on fire anymore. Someone must have put it out.

Envy sits up and checks her pockets to make sure nothing was taken before she looks around the general area. Nobody else is in the living room except for Papyrus, who’s reading a children’s book about a fluffy bunny. He looks oddly sophisticated, wearing full professor getup complete with glasses and a bowtie as he analyzes a children’s book with a surprising intensity.

“Papyrus?” Envy asks, her voice coming out groggier than she’d expected it to. She cringes at the sound of it, and is surprised that the aforementioned skeleton didn’t react the same way.

“Ah. Envy, I’m Glad To See You’re Awake!” Papyrus closes the book and sets it aside. The first thing she picks up on is his lowered tone. Is there a reason he isn’t yelling? “Are You Feeling Alright?”

“I’m fine.” She’s definitely faced worse. A direct knock to the skull like that would knock out anyone, though. “What happened?”

“You And Sans Accidentally Bumped Foreheads. You Passed Out, And Sans… Re-Passed Out? I Suppose Would Be The Way To Put It?” Papyrus shrugs uncertainly. “As In: He Woke Up, Hit His Head, And Immediately Fell Back Into Unconsciousness.”

So he’s okay. “Where’s Asgore?”

“Asgore?” The skeleton looks a little startled in the sudden change in topic, but takes the time to think anyway. “He Had To Return To The Capital, But He Said He Wanted An Update On Your Condition When You Woke Up.”

Naturally, Envy tunes out anything Papyrus has to say after that in favor of pulling back the curtains to peer outside. It’s not snowing, so it’s easier to pick out the deep-seated snow prints that Asgore left behind in the blinding white framed by the window.

“What about the fire?” Envy lets the curtain fall back into place.

“No, Of Course Not! I Successfully Put Out The Fire Right Before Taking Care Of You And My Lazybones Brother.” Papyrus strikes a heroic pose, his scarf flowing in the air conditioning. “I Was Able To Use My Special Attack Against It!”

Oh, duh. He used magic. Why didn’t Envy think of that?

“Special attack, huh?” The brunette picks at a thread on one of the… five? Seven? Whatever. She picks at a thread on a blanket. “Sounds… interesting.”

Papyrus frowns. “You Still Seem Tired.”

Envy glances back at Papyrus. “What makes you say that?”

“Nothing, Just…” he points under his eye sockets. “You Have Dark Circles Under Your Eyes.”

“That’s normal. I’m not tired. I could kick your ass right now if I wanted to.”

“I’m Sure You Could! But I Don’t Think It’s A Good Idea For You To Get Up Yet.”

Papyrus stands up, and laying on a couch really seems to put into perspective how much height he really has on those bones of his. Envy curls in on herself, pulling the blankets further up. She watches him carefully as he strides across the room, digging through the pile of pots that still hasn’t been taken care of until he pulls out a remote.

“Would You Like To Watch An Episode Of My Favorite Show?” He offers. Not that Envy is given a chance to answer, because Papyrus puts it on anyway. She’s a little surprised to see it flip to what looks like a news channel starring a blocky robot with various lights and buttons.

Envy continues to stare at the screen even though it’s kind of burning to look at it right now. “You watch a robot report the news?”

Papyrus gasps, and for a second Envy thinks he’s going to start shouting again. She’s relieved when he doesn’t. “A Robot?! That Is Mettaton, And You Will Treat His Name With Respect In This Household!!”

“I’ve never heard of him. Does he run the news network down here or something?”

“He’s A Television Star. He Does All Kinds Of Things!” Papyrus starts pressing his gloved phalanges back as he lists off the star’s achievements. “He’s Starred In Musicals, He Does Cooking Shows, He Does Quiz Shows. It’s The Most Incredible Thing I’ve Ever Seen, Really.”

A television star…

Envy stares at the screen, admittedly a little enraptured by the performance that Mettaton is putting on. Over the top, absolutely. Dramatic, for sure. But she’s never wanted to watch the news, unless you count right now. Is this why her parents hadn’t bought a TV? It must be.

There’s a lot going on no matter where Envy looks. Mettaton is talking into the most blinged-out microphone Envy has ever seen in her life. There’s words moving across the screen unrelated to what he’s talking about, but they seem important all the same. The scenery behind him—Hotland, if she’s remembering correctly—serves as a nice backdrop, though she can only really guess where he is based on the color scheme. It’s definitely somewhere Underground, which is strange to think about.

“Okay, Okay, You Don’t Need To Judge Me So Harshly.” Papyrus’ words snap Envy back to reality, and she looks over to see an orange tint dusting his face. “It’s Not The Best Episode, But I Like It! Is That Such A Crime?”

“I didn’t say anything,” Envy points out.

“Then Why Do You Look Like You’re Watching Hot Garbage?”

“I don’t—” She cuts herself off with a sigh, deciding to just appease him rather than argue about her facial expression. “The show is great, Papyrus. I love it. It’s the best show ever.”

“REALLY?!” His shriek causes Envy to wince. “… I Mean, Really?”

Envy just shoots him a thumbs up.

“Oh! You’ve Resorted To Non-Verbal Responses. Luckily, I Snatched A Library Book The Other Day, And I Learned That What You’re Doing Is A ‘Social Cue.’” He throws air quotes around the last two words, speaking as if it’s a legend he’s been enthralled with for the past forty years. His hands fly to his hips, and he poses again. “You Must Be Hungry! Fear Not! I, The Great Papyrus, Will Make It My Utmost Responsibility To Give You An Unforgettable Hosting!! Nyeh Heh Heh Heh Heh Heh Heh Heh Heh!!!”

Not a single word of that made sense, but he’s grabbing an apron and heading to the kitchen, so it looks like he’s planning on keeping Envy there longer than she was intending to stay. Reluctantly, she checks her phone and immediately lowers the brightness before looking at her texts. Sure enough, several of her clients have texted her.

Frederick Leopold Fazbear: are we still having the morning class??

Jason (DO NOT DO FAVORS FOR THIS MAN): Hey, I stopped by the dojo and I saw it was closed. Did something happen?

Goku: The dojo was closed when I got there?? Was there an email abt this??

Envy slowly writes out an apologetic response to each person, promising a refund for the day. She’s trying not to do the math in her head about how much money she’s lost and how she’s going to get it back. She can barely afford daily necessities as is, and now she’s losing income. What was she going to do?

“heya,” Sans says, making Envy jump at his sudden presence. She shoots a stoic glare at him, and he puts his hands up. “woah, sorry, didn’t realize you were in the zone. just wanted to check in on ya.”

“I’m fine.” Envy returns to editing a message for a particularly upset client.

“really? not to be

nosy,

but i’m surprised you don’t have anything to say about what happened.”

Her train of thought pumps the brakes at his weird wording. “Do you know something I don’t?”

“your nose. it’s kinda bruised.” He points at his own nasal cavity to emphasize his point.

Stupidly, Envy touches her nose to see if Sans is telling the truth. The biting pain that should not have come with the level of pressure she put against it confirms his statement. She clenches her phone tightly and squares her jaw.

“wow, that bad?” Sans looks guilty. Why does he look guilty?

“It doesn’t hurt.” Envy returns to editing the message, making a few minor changes before hitting send. “Just… I didn’t expect it, I guess.”

Silence fills the room. If she looks up and he’s gone again—

“sorry.”

Envy looks up at him with surprise in her expression that she can’t suppress. “Excuse me?”

“i wanna apologize for what happened. i didn’t mean to knock you out. i know you probably just wanted to sign our papers and leave.” Sans shrugs. “so… sorry.”

Envy isn’t really sure what to say to that. She scans his face for any signs of mischief or dishonesty, but it’s kind of hard for her to pick out a difference in expressions in someone who wears the same one all the time. In a way, it bothers her. He might be irritatingly loud and way too childish for her liking, but at least Papyrus clearly emotes whatever he’s feeling.

Sans coughs uncomfortably. “so, uh. you want… water? or somethin’?”

“I’ll pass.” She shoves her phone in her pockets. Now that she’s properly looking at him, she notices something she didn’t before. There’s a blue bruise on his skull that hadn’t been there before she passed out. “Shouldn’t you be resting, too?”

“nah. paps says that it’s good for the SOUL to keep good company. and you kinda need ‘company’ in order to do that.”

Envy wasn’t usually considered good company in general, but she doesn’t say that out loud. “I still think you should get some sleep.”

“eh, i sleep a lot as is.”

“I know. You were asleep for most of your shift yesterday.”

Sans’ grin stretches out further, somehow. “was that a joke?”

“Was what a joke?”

“wow, you were genuinely criticizing me. ouch.” Sans puts his hand over his nonexistent heart. “you wound me, v.”

Envy presses her lips together. “Don’t fall into the habit of calling me that. I don’t want to explain that to anyone at work.”

Sans seems to perk up a bit at that. “that reminds me. d’ya need to sign our hours sheets still?”

Envy actually forgot about that, and she’s relieved that Sans brought it up. She’s probably been here for a while, and she really should sign the paper before the twenty-four hour mark. Her hands hastily search her pockets before she finds the pen she’s looking for, holding out her hand expectantly for the envelope.

He hands it to her. “thanks. i know it hasn’t been obvious, but papyrus has actually been really worried about you knocking yourself out on top of this.”

Envy feels something twist in her gut. She ignores it, swiftly printing out her signature on both forms. “Sorry.”

“with the damage you caused, you should be paying my hospital bills.” Sans laughs loudly, then rests his hand on her shoulder to give it a squeeze. “nah, but seriously. no need to apologize. that wasn’t anyone’s fault. too many cooks in the kitchen, you know?”

Maybe it’s the mention of cooking. Maybe it’s her being touched so suddenly. Maybe it’s the fact that she’s currently in the house of a dojo intruder and an attempted dojo intruder. Regardless of why, the twisting feeling suddenly feels a lot more nauseating than it did before. And hot. And it’s pushing up her throat, and she can’t stop it, and the realization of what’s happening comes too late.

She hurls, the vomit coming out and staining the carpet. Envy tries to stop herself, but she can’t, and the shame of what she did is left in a greasy wet pile with chunks of disappointment buried inside.

“oh, jeez.” Sans hurriedly sets the papers aside and looks around the room for a second. “paps, v threw up on the carpet. where’s the carpet cleaner?”

“UNDER THE SINK!!” There’s a few clanging sounds before Papyrus throws a bottle and a spool of paper towels out from the kitchen. In the middle of the air, they sharply turn and fly towards Sans, who catches them with ease.

“thanks.” he gets on his hands and knees and starts spraying where Envy had puked.

She feels so embarrassed. More so when Papyrus exits the kitchen with a stethoscope, a thermometer, a popsicle stick, and a myriad of other things that he definitely didn’t walk in there with. Also, he’s in his “armor” instead of whatever he was wearing before.

“FEAR NOT!! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, ALSO DOUBLE AS… DOCTOR PAPYRUS, EXPERT IN ALL THINGS MEDICAL!!” He reaches out to her, completely unaware of his shouting. She shrinks back.

“I’m fine, really. I must have eaten something rotten earlier.” She puts her hands up to emphasize how much she does not need this. “I can even help clean up.”

“NICE TRY!! I KNOW THAT WHEN A HUMAN IS RED IN THE FACE, IT MEANS THEY’RE SICK!! I READ ABOUT IT ON THE INTERNET.”

His comment makes her touch her cheeks. “Well, I can still help.”

“NONSENSE!! ILLNESS REQUIRES MEDICATION AND REST ABOVE ALL ELSE.”

“I’m not sick! I can

he—”

she cringes when her nose flares a bit. Right, the bruise. Maybe she wasn’t sick, but she

should

take care of that.

“are ya stayin’, or…?”

“I’ll leave. Since Papyrus is insisting so heavily that I rest, I may as well do it in my own home.”

“BUT WHAT ABOUT THE CAVERN’S MOUTH?! IT’S SO FAR!! HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO GET THERE?”

“i got her, paps.” Sans winks at Envy. “i know a shortcut.”

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┕━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┙

At first, Envy thinks she might be dead. To be fair, who wouldn’t? But then it’s over just as suddenly as it happened, and they’re outside. At least, Envy thinks they’re outside, but it’s so dark she can barely tell. There are echoes of dropping water here and there, and she knows it’s water because it feels so humid. They must be back in the cavern.

She doubles over. She’s going to throw up. Her feet have never been so planted in one place. “What was that.”

Sans’ expression tenses slightly. “uh, a shortcut?”

That was a shortcut? Where had he taken them? Space? Time? The absence of space and time?

“you good?” Sans asks.

Envy blinks, pressing her nails against the palm of her hand to see if she’s real. She is. “I guess the whole ‘shortcut’ thing just kind of got to me a little bit.”

“i’m sorry, i should’ve warned ya about what a shortcut was before we took it. but i promise, it’s perfectly safe—wouldn’t let ya do it if it wasn’t.”

“Uh huh.” Envy is more focused on finding her grounding right now. “Don’t do that again.”

“gotcha.”

“That was so disorienting. No wonder I threw up on your carpet,” she mutters, standing up to her full height. Grounding herself. “… Sorry about that. By the way.”

“it’s really okay. nothin’ paps won’t spend hours takin’ care of.” Sans throws a cheeky wink at Envy, and she really can’t tell if he’s trying to make her feel guilty or not. She opts for the former.

She wipes her mouth as though the traces of vomit are still there. Selfishly, she’s glad they’re not making her help, even though she should. She much prefers standing in the patch of grass spotlighted by a nonexistent source with Sans, who has so far only broken into her dojo and destroyed her illusion of reality through teleportation.

Actually, that second one isn’t his fault.

Sans picks at the corner of his eye socket where his tear duct would be if he wasn’t literal bones. “seriously, it‘s not a big deal. he’s a dedicated guy. you should’ve seen him with his puzzles before frisk fell.”

The way he’s speaking, he almost makes it sound like they were just regular, everyday puzzles. Like crosswords and stuff.

“he was out there making the world’s best crosswords and stuff. whatta guy.”

Oh. Never mind, then.

“and, hey.” Great. What now? “thanks for comin’ up here to get the signatures. you really did us a solid. i know they probably wouldn’t’ve known if you’d waited to get the signatures until later, but paps was freaking out. so, yeah. thanks.”

She folds her arms across her chest. “I’m just glad this won’t continue to be an issue.”

“enough to maybe stop giving me that nasty glare?”

“What glare?”

Sans resets his expression to what Envy knows is her resting face. It’s an intimidating one, too. “this one.”

“… That’s just how I look.” She furrows her brow slightly, and now she’s certain Sans is sweating. There’s no bucket of water in sight. “Well, I’ll have to call it here. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“always appreciate an honest gal. see ya, v.” Sans shoots a finger gun at her and vanishes.

Envy elects to ignore his nickname (again), as well as the ickiness of what she hopes is mud under her foot. Somewhere during the teleportation process, her shoe had flown off, so now she’s only got one. And it’s dark as hell in this cavern, so she isn’t going to find it anytime soon. She just trudges back to the mouth of the cave, muttering something to herself about getting it next time.

She’s barely stepped into the light when the barrels of two different guns are pointed at her.

“Where do you think you’re going? You know the rules,” the first—no, wait. That’s not the same guy who was here before. There are two new men standing watch at the mouth of the tunnel.

Envy doesn’t move. She’s not an idiot. “I’m going to Ebott.”

“The hell you are. You think we don’t know about you?” The first guard’s replacement jabs her in the chest with the barrel of his gun.

Envy’s heart skips a beat with the contact. “Know about what?”

“Oh, so just because you

look

human, you think you get our

rights,”

he quips sarcastically. “Not sure how they missed you when all of you freaks popped up here, but we know about you now.”

“Know about what? What are you talking about?” She’s not panicking, she’s just confused.

“IF YOU CONTINUE TO BE AGGRESSIVE WE WILL USE LETHAL FORCE!!”

“Okay, I’m sorry!” Envy prays that her tone didn’t come off as sharp as it did last time. “I’m sorry, please don’t hurt me!”

“Good. Now get your ass back where it belongs.” The second guard’s replacement shoves Envy back into the shadows. “What a waste of time.”

Envy slams against the ground in a disorientation that’s all too familiar. She wouldn’t place this feeling as fear. People who are afraid can still react, defend themselves, whatever, but Envy? She can’t move. She can’t speak. She can’t breathe. Her internal organs might have stopped functioning, too, and oh god, is she going to die? Her heart rate has gone from whatever her typical BPM is to vibrating all over her body in one loud, never-ending scream. Every attempt to blink is met with resistance. Everything she does is horrible. She hasn’t been treated this way in so long. The shadows close in on her. The laughter, why is there laughter, it grows and grows and grows.

And grows.

“Hey, what are you still doing here?” The first guard’s replacement barks, shooing Envy away. “Go on. Get.”

She can’t move. She’s staring at the guards and they’re staring back and she can’t move.

“Hey.” The second guard’s replacement squats down, somehow talking over Envy’s labored breathing. “Ya wanna hear somethin’?”

No. No, I don’t, don’t tell me anything.

She tries so hard but the words just

won’t.

“We heard your kind turns to dust when they… y’know.” he makes a throat-slitting motion and clicks his tongue. What did that have to do with anything?

Envy opens her mouth, barely managing a “What?”

“Funny lil’ thing, huh? And, y’know, we were supposed to do that to you, being a monster trying to escape and all, but we’re lettin’ you off easy.” His expression darkens with each word, a certain iciness latching onto every feature. “So go, before we change our minds.”

“A monster trying t—?”

Envy freezes when the guard, she’s not sure which one, cocks his gun in a silent warning.

She grabs at the ground below her, pulling herself as far away from these men as possible. She can’t look them in the faces, only relying on vague silhouettes and their voices and the loaded gun as reference points to how far away she is from them. The light of the cavern’s mouth shrinks, and so do the guards, and she can’t do anything except run away and that’s humiliating.

She’s humiliating.

┍━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┑

┕━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┙

Envy can’t keep track of the time she’s spent with her back against the wall in this darkness. She’s not sure where she is. She just forced herself to keep moving until she could only just barely hear the echoing voices of the men. When she had finally rested, the droplets from the condensation clinging onto the wall had seeped through her clothes. It was funny, because despite the cold, wet droplets stinging her back, Envy couldn’t really feel it.

Every now and again, she hears voices. They’re extremely faint, even with the echoing of the cavern as a support structure. Despite the silence that had been going on, it still seems like there’s only two people. And she could easily take out two people on her own.

For the past however-long (or at least since regaining control of her own thoughts), Envy has been planning. A guard on each side of such a large gap was a little annoying, but it wasn’t impossible to deal with. If she could just take out one, get one of them to hold hostage or steal their weapon or something, she would have the means to get out.

She’d probably have to leave the country again, but whatever. Use what you know, right?

Envy pulls herself up so that she’s standing, her legs planted firm on the ground. Which way had she come from again…?

Something creaks to her left, and the decision is made.

Envy feels around the ground as she moves, her hand finally capturing a sizable rock. It wasn’t her preferred weapon, but it would have to do. They were probably wearing helmets, so she’d have to aim for the base of the neck or the tailbone. Whichever was available.

The sounds of her footsteps are overrun only by her breathing. She’s walking more carefully now and hoping that nothing will stab her in her unprotected foot. Her fist clutches the rock in her hand as though it’s her only lifeline. The wall is wet and damp, but it’s the only guide that Envy has right now. Someone is telling her to use what she knows. She recognizes the voice and pushes into the furthest depths of her memory.

It doesn’t take long before she reaches a faint light. It looks a little bit different than how it did before, the picturesque colors of the sunset having been exchanged for washed-out grays and blues. How long had she been in the cavern?

Envy crouches, slinking across the wall with the rock in her hand. Slowly, she pushes herself to standing height, waiting for a reaction. Better yet, if someone comes in to see what’s wrong. Or the guards surrendering entirely, but that’s wishful thinking. Luring them out, on the other hand?

Her hands tighten around the rock, and she knocks it against the wall.

There’s silence, then footsteps. They’re not fast, but they’re growing closer. She squints, adjusting her vision to the darkness as best as she can, and aims.

“Hello?”

Envy catches herself—literally. She has to grab her wrist to stop herself from chucking the rock. Isn’t that…?

“Who is there?”

Envy can make out the shape of the body as he draws nearer, picking out some of the physical appearances. The beard that has no light but shines regardless, some article of clothing draped over his back, the crown proudly adorned between his horns.

“Envy?”

She drops the rock and it clatters against the ground. “Your Highness?”

┍━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┑

┕━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┙

Envy is struggling to keep her grip on the teacup Asgore has given her. She’s eternally grateful for his kindness, first and foremost, but she’s also not sure what she’s going to do now that she’s been caught. Her eyes dart around the room, analyzing and re-analyzing her surroundings.

“Are you quite alright?” Asgore tips the tea kettle he’s holding so that its contents pour out into his own cup. “I understand that must have been quite a scare.”

“I’m fine, Your Highness.” Envy watches the stream of tea until it stops.

“I am glad you are okay. I hope you enjoy this golden flower tea.”

She lets out a noncommittal hum.

“Why have you returned here?” He asks. “I was of the understanding that you had been escorted to the cavern by Sans.”

“Your Royal Scientist?”

“Ex Royal Scientist,” Asgore corrects. He takes a sip of his tea, the steam gently filtering through whatever space it has. “But yes.”

“I see.” She sets her cup down. So the documents were accurate, and while that’s reassuring, it’s not why she’s here. “There are guards at the exit of the Underground, as I’m sure you understand. They were the ones who refused to let me leave. Sans did nothing wrong.”

Asgore nods, his clawed nail tapping against the delicate porcelain of the teacup. “Well, if you need somewhere to stay for the next week, I am more than happy to house you. I understand you must be frightened right now.”

Envy furrows her brow. “I’m not frightened. I can handle myself.”

“I have no doubt that you can. But it is my understanding that today marks your first visit down here.”

“That…” Envy falters a bit. “That’s true, Your Majesty.”

Reluctantly, Asgore sets his own cup down. He pushes his chair out, standing tall and mighty over the table. The only sound in that moment is his authoritative footsteps as he approaches an assistant. When he leans down and whispers to them, Envy digs her nails into her thighs, watching for the draw of blood. It never comes.

Asgore returns and smooths out his cape. “Sans and Papyrus will be here soon to pick you up. In the meantime, please enjoy whatever snacks and drinks we have to offer.”

Wait, Sans and Papyrus? Coming here? She looks at the assistant for answers, but they’re gone. “Why are they picking me up?”

“From my understanding, Sans and Papyrus work for you, correct?”

“Yes…?” She really hopes this isn’t going where she thinks it’s going.

To her horror, the king’s words confirm her fears. “You were not too keen on staying here, so I elected to house you with those you were more familiar with. Meaning the problem is solved. Please let me know if they give you trouble. I have heard that they can be a lot.”

“Don’t I know it,” she manages, staring at her own muddied reflection in the tea.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

As it turns out, the skeleton brothers were all too happy to help Envy. Apparently, there’s “a lot of fun things to do in the Underground if you don’t get bored easily.” Papyrus’ words, not hers.

She clutches the teacup in her hand. It’s the second one she’s been given today. Steam swirls and spools from the cup in a silent attempt to distract her from her problems. The porcelain is hot against her hands, but she feels no warmth. Is this really what she’s been reduced to? Bumming off of her employees, just because they were worried about

ink dating?

And not to mention everything above on the Surface. What’s going to happen to her dojo? Her

life?

She’d worked so hard to get that place, and not knowing its future made her feel like she’d be sick again.

She’s thinking about how she could possibly support herself when Papyrus enters the room, a sight she barely catches in her peripheral vision. And in the reflection of her tea, even though he’s standing all the way across the room.

Wait, no. That’s latte art, incorporated into tea. In the shape of Papyrus’ face.

“AH! HELLO! I DIDN’T SEE YOU THERE!!” Speaking of. She stares further into the latte/tea art (lattea art?), an unnatural weight resting itself on the cushion next to her. He sets a book on the table, one that she hadn’t realized he had. “YOU HAVEN’T BEEN VERY… RESPONSIVE SINCE YOU ARRIVED HERE. ARE YOU OKAY?”

“I’m fine.” Envy shrugs and sets her drink down. She wasn’t really thirsty, come to think of it. “Quick questio—”

“QUICKER ANSWER!”

“… Right. Uhm, do you have something to write with?”

Papyrus scoffs. “DO I HAVE SOMETHING TO WRITE WITH? DOES A DOOR HAVE A LOCK TO PROTECT YOU? DOES THE SHINING MORNING DEW HAVE A BLADE OF GRASS TO CLING ONTO?? DOES THE SOUL HAVE A BODY TO CALL HOME???”

“… I should hope so.”

“WELL!!” He produces a pen out of thin air with a flourish. “IN THIS CASE, THE ANSWER IS YES!!!”

Envy takes it. “Thanks. Do you have something to write on?”

“THE COFFEE TABLE IS RIGHT THERE, BUT I WOULD PREFER YOU NOT TO USE IT. I JUST WASHED IT.”

“No, I mean—a piece of paper, or something,” she gestures.

“OH. YES, HOLD ON.” Papyrus repeats his previous action, proudly handing Envy a piece of paper with writing already on it.

She hands it back. “A

blank

piece of paper. Please.”

Papyrus takes it back and produces a new piece of paper that hasn’t been touched. “SORRY. HERE YOU GO.”

Envy takes it and immediately starts scribbling out the little math she knew could help her.

Okay. I’ve lost fifty-two customers since Monday, and I won’t be able to run the dojo for the next week, so subtract those two and the reimbursement fees for anyone who showed up today—

Papyrus cranes his neck to look at her math that might look impressive at a glance, but it’s really just a bunch of subtracting. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”

“Figuring out how I’m going to pay rent this month.”

“FOR YOUR DOJO OR YOUR HOUSE?”

Envy grips the pencil, forcing a tight smile.

“I guess it’s both.”

Papyrus is quiet for a few minutes before his finger presses against the paper. “YOU FORGOT TO CARRY THE TWO.”

Oh. Envy scratches out her previous answer and replaces it with the correct equation.

“WAIT, WHICH ONE IS YOUR SALARY?” Papyrus interjects again. Envy points at one of the numbers she’s written down. He studies her handwriting and starts counting on his fingers.

What the hell. “What are you doing?”

“IF YOU DIVIDE THAT UP INTO… WELL, HOW OFTEN DO YOU NEED TO EAT?”

“Every day.”

“AND WHEN IS RENT DUE?”

“In a week.”

“AND THE VALUE OF YOUR RENT FOR BOTH BUILDINGS?”

Envy points to the sheet again.

“HMMM…” Papyrus puts his phalanges to his temple and starts… spinning. A lot. Like, faster than Envy has ever seen anyone spin. And the entire time, he keeps humming to himself. He’s speaking too fast at this point for her to keep up, but she picks up a few words like

vertex

and

hypotenuse

and

imaginary numbers.

Envy isn’t sure if she should try and stop him, so she calls out his name instead. “Uh, Papyrus? What are you doi—?”

“I’VE FIGURED IT OUT.” He stops perfectly, except for the fact he’s facing the kitchen. Which he remedies. “IF YOU TAKE THIS… AND GET RID OF THAT… AND THEN… AHA! SEE? YOU CAN COVER RENT.”

Envy has no idea what he’s talking about. Especially since he just went on a completely random tangent with no visuals. Unless you count him sporadically moving his hands to fit his sentences as a visual. There was plenty of that.

“… Thank you, Papyrus.” Envy grabs the paper and stands up. “But that isn’t—”

“NO, SERIOUSLY!! HERE, LET ME SHOW YOU.” He holds his hands out. Envy stares, but eventually drops the materials into his glove.

Papyrus starts writing, taking about thirty seconds before he flips it back around. There are clean, accurate calculations written in a way that Envy doesn’t fully understand. But they all seem to connect. And… she… might be able to cover her rent? Maybe? Papyrus’ handwriting is neat and organized, but there’s nothing to indicate whether she can afford it or not. Somehow.

“Uhm, thanks.” Envy takes the paper from him, folds it up, and slips it into her pocket. “I didn’t know you were good at math.”

“SANS TAUGHT ME AS A CHILD. I NEEDED TO UNDERSTAND MATH FOR MY PUZZLES WHEN I GOT OLDER, THOUGH, SO I TOOK TO THE LIBRARY. AS MUCH AS I HATE TO ADMIT IT…” Papyrus looks around briefly. When it’s clear only himself, Envy, and Hank are in the room, he continues. “Sans Is Better At It. I Would Go Check To Ensure My Calculations Are Correct.”

“Even if you think he’s better, you should still consider your own.” What did her mother say when she was younger? “Se pensate troppo a dove siete, dimenticherete come ci siete arrivati.”

Papyrus stares in pure confusion. “WHAT?”

“It’s saying that… what’s the English word for pensare?”

“I’M CONFUSED.”

Actually, that makes sense. He’s probably never heard of any language other than English, since nobody she’s met so far in the Underground speaks it. She’ll just let it bother her for the rest of the day. “The point is, the steps you took to achieve what you did are more important than the achievements themselves.”

Papyrus looks genuinely surprised. “THAT’S QUITE INSIGHTFUL.”

“I do what I can.” She extends her hand. “Thank you for your help. I appreciate it.”

His hands fly to his now orange-tinted cheeks, eyelights sparkling in a way that makes Envy worry for a second he might be going into cardiac arrest. “A GENUINE COMPLIMENT?! OH!! YOU’RE TOO KIND!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!”

“You’re w—”

“WAIT!! I NEED TO RETURN YOUR KINDNESS!! IT’S ONLY RIGHT.” Papyrus studies her for a minute, getting way too close to her face. “HMM… YOU LOOK EXCEPTIONALLY BEAUTIFUL TODAY!! AND THAT’S SAYING SOMETHING!!”

Envy wants to correct him as soon as he says it. She’s not “exceptionally beautiful.” She’s the disgusting remains of her sins. He doesn’t need to pretend like she’s something she isn’t. Still, she smiles and offers her thanks. It’s the right thing to do.

“SO, HOW ARE YOU LIKING SNOWDIN?” Papyrus asks as Envy starts trying to figure out what exactly the skeleton confirmed with his calculations.

The pencil lead snaps against the paper. Envy jolts a bit from the sound, even though she made it. Had she really been pressing that hard?

“Sorry.” She presses her hand against her forehead. “Just… not really in the mood for questions. Not that I could answer yours. I haven’t really seen Snowdin.”

“HMM. MAYBE YOU’RE SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME IN HERE,” Papyrus supplies. “IF YOU WANT, I CAN SHOW YOU AROUND SNOWDIN AND YOU CAN TAKE A BREAK!! WHAT’S THAT THING HUMANS SAY??? ‘KILLING TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE,’ RIGHT?”

“That’s the saying.” Envy folds up her paper and sticks it in her pocket. She doesn’t really

want

to learn more about Snowdin, but if she’s staying here for the next few days then it’s worth it.

“GREAT! LET’S GO, THEN!”

Papyrus spins around a few times, and flies up. Through the ceiling.

Envy stares at the spot he disappeared for a few moments before sighing. It was going to be a long,

long

tour.

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Snowdin isn’t a big town. It

is

cold as all get-out, though, so she doesn’t really want to stay outside like Papyrus seems to have planned. She doesn’t have the necessary equipment, and unlike Papyrus she feels the iciness of this place. Envy mentally kicks herself for not being prepared for a place called

Snowdin.

Who named this town, anyway? Sans?

Actually, there’s a very high chance that was the case.

Papyrus is rambling on and on about the town, and Envy is admittedly not listening. Not that what Papyrus is saying is incredibly uninteresting or anything. Her attention is just on something else at the moment: a blinking light.

She stares up at the neon sign adorning the brick building she’d been absently walking by.

Grillby’s,

it reads in loopy cursive letters. Oh, yeah. This is the bar she sponsored at the party. She’s a little surprised he still has a business running down here. Wasn’t this the exact building that was on the Surface…?

“AH! I SEE YOU’VE TAKEN AN INTEREST IN GRILLBY’S.” Papyrus clicks his tongue (which he apparently has). “BUT YOU’VE ALREADY VISITED IT ON THE SURFACE, SO I DON’T SEE A NEED TO GO IN THERE AGAIN. BESIDES, I WOULD PREFER MY NAME NOT BE ASSOCIATED WITH THAT PLACE.”

He beckons her to follow him. Envy does, rubbing her arms and hoping that Papyrus will let his pride down enough to enter the next building.

“AH, THE LIBRARY!” He swoops his arm towards a building that reads

LIBRARBY.

“SOMEONE ATTEMPTED TO PAINT IT OVER IN AN ATTEMPT TO ASSIST ITS OWNERS, BUT TRAGICALLY THEY WERE DISTRACTED AND MISSPELLED THE TITLE OF THE—”

“Was it you?” Envy interrupts.

“WHAT?!” Papyrus turns bright orange, which tells Envy everything she needs to know. “ABSOLUTELY NOT. DON’T BE PREPOSTEROUS.”

As easy as it would be to continue pushing, Envy just wants to go inside. “Are the books any good?”

“OH, YES! THEY CERTAINLY ARE. IN FACT, MY SELF-PUBLISHED AUTOBIOGRAPHY HAS JUST HIT THE SHELVES!!” He seems much more eager to go inside now. “I’D SHOW YOU, BUT… I’M NOT ALLOWED INSIDE ANYMORE.”

“Couldn’t possibly imagine why,” she says in a tone that indicates otherwise.

“I KNOW!! I’M GLAD TO SEE YOU’RE JUST AS OFFENDED AS I AM!” Papyrus looks around and lowers himself just a bit to whisper, “The Book Is On The Far Left Shelf. Come Back Out When You’re Done.”

Envy nods and enters the library, silently grateful for the buffer to the cold that the door provides after it shuts behind her. The library here isn’t nearly as fancy as Asgore’s, but it is cozier. A librarian is drumming their claws on a desk with nothing but a plant for decoration. A few monsters sit at a tiny table with a doily in the middle, the group seeming to resemble a book club of some sort. Yellow stretches around the walls, the back one hidden with color-coded books on wooden shelves in the back of the room. A ladder rests against it, waiting to be used.

She finds Papyrus’ book rather quickly. Mostly because it’s got a neon orange binder that doesn’t quite match the shade of the other orange books, but also because it’s

very

thick. Quietly, she pulls it off the shelf, which takes a while because it’s about a foot in length. How on

earth

did this book fit on a shelf that’s made for books a quarter of the size? And why did Papyrus make the choice of having a stretched-out image of his face be the cover illustration?

There’s no text on the cover, so she checks the binder. Sure enough, there’s black text to contrast the orange color of the binder.

“It Is Better To Light A Single Candle Than To Curse The Darkness: The True Story of The Great Papyrus,”

she mutters to herself. An inspirational title, she supposes. One that immediately loses all of its novelty the second she looks at the cover again.

Maybe he should have just had a photoshoot,

she thinks as she opens the first page. Which turns out to be a mistake, as an incredibly loud tune

blasts

in her face the second she does. Which of course, means the judgmental glares of all five monsters present bore through her.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry,” she apologizes as she tries to push the book shut. It takes some effort, but she does it and immediately shoves it back on the shelf. Papyrus is going to

get it

when she goes back outside. Why didn’t he warn her that the book

did that?

Envy looks down at her feet, not expecting to see the corner of a different orange book intruding her peripheral vision. She must have knocked it down when she was trying to close Papyrus’ autobiography. Automatically, she kneels down and picks it up.

Chapter 3: Monsters and Magic,

the page reads. And she’s intrigued, so she reads more.

Because they are made of magic, monster’s bodies are attuned to their SOUL. If a monster doesn’t want to fight, its defenses will weaken. And the crueller the intentions of our enemies, the more their attacks will hurt us. Therefore, if a being with a powerful SOUL struck with the desire to kill…

Um, let’s end the chapter here…

Envy closes the book. Did she just read a manual on how to kill a monster?

She’s still being glared at, so she shelves the book back and beelines for the exit. With one last apology to the librarian, Envy pushes the doors open and is forced against the cold once again.

“AH, THERE YOU ARE!! HOW WAS MY AUTOBIOGRAPHY? WAS IT AS GREAT AS I AM?” Papyrus flashes a pose.

“Why does it play music,” she grunts out as less of a question and more of a disbelieving statement.

“OH!! I THOUGHT THAT WOULD BE A UNIQUE TOUCH. I SAW SOME OF YOUR MORE PRIMITIVE HUMAN BOOKS DO THAT, THOUGH THEY DIDN’T HAVE ANY PAGES. THEY DID HAVE LITTLE CHARACTERS THAT POPPED UP, THOUGH!” He mimics opening a book, and when Envy doesn’t react, he starts humming a… tune…

Wait.

“Papyrus, that song you’re humming… that’s a song that plays in

birthday cards.”

She presses her fingers against her temple, cold meeting slightly-less-cold. “Also, turn down the volume.”

He looks a little sheepish at her scolding, tapping his fingers together in a silent apology.

“… So…” God, this is awkward. “What’s next?”

He perks right back up. “RIGHT!! COME ALONG. THE NEXT STOP IS SNOWED INN.”

“Snowdin? As in… the entire town?”

“NO, OF COURSE NOT.

SNOWDIN

IS THE TOWN.

SNOWED INN

IS AN INN LOCATED

WITHIN

THE TOWN.” Papyrus points to a building with a sign that simply reads

INN.

“So… Snowed Inn is an

inn?”

Envy folds her arms, partly because it feels safer to do so and partly because it’s cold out. “I don’t really understand.”

Papyrus brings a hand to his forehead. “I KNOW. I’M ALMOST CERTAIN THEY LET MY BROTHER NAME IT.”

Right.

That’s

the problem.

“I’m not talking about the inn itself. I just don’t understand why Asgore didn’t send me

there.

Or why you and Sans didn’t send me there.”

Papyrus gawks at her like she’d just insulted his entire bloodline. “IS THIS A JAPE? YOU DO KNOW THAT’S

MY

THING, RIGHT?”

“No! What?! Why would I—” Envy inhales and exhales. Stay on topic. “What I’m asking is… you don’t know me

that

well. What do you owe me?”

“NOTHING. BUT… YOU

ARE

MY FRIEND,” he answers sheepishly.

Friend…

that word makes Envy so uncomfortable. She’s not sure she’s ever had a

friend

before. Unless she counts…

No. This isn’t the time or place.

“AND,” Papyrus continues, snapping Envy back to reality. “YOU HELPED ME, MY BROTHER, AND MY COOL FRIEND UNDYNE WHEN WE REALLY NEEDED IT.”

Debatable. “I doubt that’s reason enough to give me housing. Did I do something to earn this?”

“NO! YOU JUST NEEDED HELP, AND… WE WANTED TO OFFER IT.” He seems genuine. Which is weird. “AND I’M TRULY GLAD YOU DECIDED TO STAY WITH US.”

Envy wants to counter, say she didn’t need

help,

and prove that she isn’t a useless, weak,

pathetic—

Her hands ball into fists and she exhales quietly. No, this isn’t Papyrus’ fault. He didn’t do anything wrong. She’s just… finding her current environment to be something she’s yet to experience. Which is probably why she’s more focused on the gutsy feeling in her stomach than Papyrus explaining the town shop.

“AND THAT’S IT!!” Papyrus folds his arms over his chest. When did the topic move from Envy living with the skeleton brothers back to the tour? “DID YOU LIKE IT?”

“Loved it,” she says for some reason.

“GREAT!! AS MUCH AS I WOULD LIKE TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH YOU, I CAN TELL YOU WANT TO EXPLORE ON YOUR OWN!!” He jabs his thumb towards the direction of his house. “I’LL GO MAKE DINNER. WE’RE EATING FOR THREE, AFTER ALL!! NYEH-HEH-HEH!!”

He floats(??) backwards down the path. Like he’s doing the moonwalk, but without moving his legs.

… She needs to get out of here for a bit.

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Envy is absolutely not going back to Sans and Papyrus’ house. She doesn’t really want to. She

wants

to go back to her apartment and forget any of this happened. Maybe move out of the country. But that would require another fake passport. Sometimes, she wishes she’d taken more than one when she left instead of burning them. Sometimes being all the time, but she digresses.

Hopefully, nobody bothers me while I’m here.

Envy pushes the door open to Grillby’s, and her suspicions from earlier are confirmed. This is the same place, down to the cement holding the bricks together. Or maybe that was magic, too. Was it bad that she kept thinking everything down here was magic?

Deciding to ponder that later, Envy walks up to the bar. People are staring. She resists the urge to curl in on herself. Why can’t people mind their business? And where is the bartender?

“heya.”

Envy is more than a little surprised to see Sans behind the bar rather than Grillby. He’s cleaning a glass that really doesn’t look like it needs any more cleaning.

“Sans?” She never did like how her voice sounded when she asked a question. “You work here?”

“sometimes.”

“How do you work here

sometimes?”

“i cover for grillbz when he needs it.” He leans over the counter. “did paps send ya?”

“No, I… don’t think he knows you’re here. But that reminds me…” Envy pulls out the calculations that Papyrus had done earlier for her rent and quickly explains what it is to Sans, ending with: “Can you clarify this for me?”

Sans takes the paper and squints as he analyzes it. Kind of strange, but interesting to watch his face mold. “i…

think

you can cover rent? sorry, some of this is in that secret language paps invented so nobody could read his ‘secret diary.’”

Well, that was entirely unhelpful. She takes the paper back. “Thanks anyways.”

Envy shifts her position on the bar stool to something more comfortable. She’s not sure why he isn’t wearing the uniform that Grillby usually wears. Unless it’s not a uniform, and those are his normal clothes. Sans is wearing

his

normal clothes.

“… ‘s there somethin’ on my jacket?”

Oops. She was staring. Might as well ask if she’s been caught. “Why don’t you wear a uniform?”

“oh. grillbz doesn’t really care if i wear one or not.”

Weird. Envy had never worked a job where she wasn’t in uniform. She tries to imagine what his uniform must feel like. From the bar jobs she’s worked, the material was probably too smooth against the skin and caught against healing scabs. Or too sparkly with the same problem. Maybe Sans was justified in choosing to not wear a uniform.

“what can i getcha while you’re here?” Sans sets the glass down.

Envy clicks her tongue, the possibilities running through her mind. “Can you make an aperol spritz?”

Sans tucks the rag he’d been using in his pocket. “sure.”

With a quick snap of his fingers, bottles fly off the shelves in a partly-transparent glob of blue. The caps pop off and pour themselves into the drink, while Sans himself works on cutting an orange slice. It’s an admittedly impressive feat of multitasking that Envy has almost never seen.

She wishes she could do that.

“That’s impressive,” she admits more to herself than Sans. Still, he turns around with an amused expression.

“you really think so?”

Envy nods and takes her drink after he slides the orange slice on the rim. She sips, and… wow. It’s

really

good. She won’t admit

that

out loud, though.

“Where’d you learn to bartend?” She swirls her drink around in her glass.

Sans puts a gloved phalange to his teeth. “i’ll never tell.”

Huh.

What are the chances that bartending is a hobby of his that he’ll never admit to?

Can

he have a hobby as a bartender? Envy’s only ever worked at high-end bars, and even then she didn’t get much experience as a bartender…

“hey, since you’re here.” Envy snaps back to reality just in time to see Sans pulling out something white and fluffy from under the bar. There are three black dots, but otherwise no indication of what it is. Until it blinks. A little pink slab pokes out of the fur, which she realizes is his tongue. “can you watch toby? he won’t leave me alone and paps isn’t the biggest fan of him. maybe he’ll listen to you.”

“Toby?” She asks, and he yaps in response. Honestly, she’d forgotten they even had a dog.

Sans holds him out. “you wanna hold him?”

Yes.

Envy reaches out and takes Toby from Sans. He starts kicking his little legs, so she puts him on her lap. Toby seems much more comfortable when he’s not being held hostage in the middle of the air. Toby yaps again and tries to lick Envy’s face. She lets him get away with it exactly once before leaning away from him.

“don’t like dog kisses?” Sans asks.

“He’s cute, but his breath stinks.” It was true. Toby’s breath smelled like rotten cheese. She hopes he hasn’t been eating any. “How’d you get him?”

“well, he showed up at my hotcat stand one day… and i had some extra, so i gave him one. he kept coming back and now we’re just stuck with him,” Sans explains. “cute lil’ guy, though.”

“Sounds awfully familiar,” she drawls sarcastically. “Did he also break into a dojo? Or do you just do that for fun?”

“excuse you. i am a very honorable skeleton. i would never do such a thing.”

“I trust Toby more than you,” she half-jokes. Then, his words register from earlier. “Wait, did you say hot

cat?”

“i sell hot animals.” Sans starts listing them off. “hotdogs, hotcats.”

Toby yaps again. Envy scratches the top of his head. “No. Not you. Never you.”

“what?”

“I think he heard you sold hotdogs and thought he was next.” She hugs Toby closer to her. It’s sort of like he’s a little stuffed animal that loves you as much as you love it. “But that’s not happening.”

“it’s not, v.” He winks in a chummy sort of way. “that’d be

pup

-ed up.”

Envy can’t stop her eyes from rolling. “That was bad.”

“it was great. hey, i’ve been thinkin’ of adding new menu items. maybe you could be part of my team.”

“Didn’t your stand get closed down?”

“you can still be part of my team. you’d need a nickname, though. something catchy.” His hands spread through the air. “what about… ‘hot v?’”

“That was

really

bad.”

“it fits the theme.”
“Honestly, just ‘V’ is fine.” She scratches Toby’s head. “Besides, I’ve never had a nickname before. Unless you count Envy.”
“envy’s not your name?”

“It is. My full name is Invidia.”

“… invidia.” Sans stares at her as though she’s a painting he doesn’t quite understand. “that’s a pretty name, v.”

Envy wishes she agreed with him.

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Envy stares at the plate in front of her. Logically, she shouldn’t be afraid of eating the spaghetti. There’s nothing in it. It’s just spaghetti. Both Sans and Papyrus are eating it. But for some reason, she struggles to pick up the fork.

“great job, bro.” Sans shovels his own forkful of pasta into his mouth. “you can really taste the sauce.”

“THE WHOLE DISH IS COVERED IN SAUCE.”

“exactly. see, you get it.” Sans yawns and twirls his fork in the pasta.

Papyrus rolls his eyelights and turns to Envy. “WHAT DO YOU THINK, MISS ENVY?”

“Huh?” Envy’s gaze flicks over to Papyrus. “Oh, it’s… I’m not hungry.”

Papyrus’ response, naturally, is to pose. “FEAR NOT!! I UNDERSTAND THAT IT IS INTIMIDATING TO TRY A MEAL MADE BY ME, THE

GREAT

PAPYRUS!! NOT MANY ARE ABLE TO DO WHAT YOU HAVE, BOTH BEFRIENDING

AND

DINING WITH SOMEONE AS INCREDIBLE AS MYSELF!! AND—

SANS!!”

Envy follows Papyrus’ line of sight to see that Sans is asleep. In his spaghetti. Face-down. Papyrus hoists Sans up and just… kind of lets him loll against the chair. Somehow, none of the sauce transferred to his clothes or skull. Still, Papyrus seems embarrassed. “YOU’LL HAVE TO EXCUSE SANS. HE TENDS TO FALL ASLEEP AT THE WORST TIMES.”

As if on cue (which, honestly, there’s a good chance it

was

), the power goes out. Envy’s heart stops, just for a second.

“DAMN IT!!” Oh, thank god. Papyrus is alive. She tentatively reaches over to where she knows Sans is, resting her hand against his shoulder. When she feels it move in a way that has nothing to do with gravity or science in general, she lets out a relieved sigh.

“Generator again?” Envy pulls her hand back.

“UNFORTUNATELY. WOULD YOU MIND CHECKING IT? SANS DOESN’T LIKE ME TO DO IT FOR SOME REASON. THE FUSEBOX IS ON THE SIDE OF THE HOUSE.”

“I got it.” Envy pushes her chair out and ducks out of the kitchen. It doesn’t take long for her to find the front door, pushing it open and being greeted with the cold air.

Ugh.

After checking the lock three times to make sure she won’t get locked out, Envy trudges through the snow.

Hopefully, Papyrus meant the

left

side of the house,

she thinks as she rounds the corner. The feeling of snow turning into a weird icy slush against her shoes drives her forward. She really wants to get back inside.

There’s a gray box on the side of the house. It’s locked, but nothing a little handiwork can’t fix. Her hands search her hair and produce a bobby pin, straightening out the extreme curves and picking at the lock. It’s not a complicated lock, so she gets it done in less than a minute. Still, she’s not as quick as she’d like to be. As quick as she’s comfortable with.

She opens the fusebox and is a little surprised to see most of the switches flicked

off.

A million questions flood her mind. Is most of the power going to one source? How do Sans and Papyrus get power at

all?

Who set this up? Jeez. No wonder they keep having blackouts.

Envy flicks the rest of the switches on, reading the labels next to them as she does. Papyrus’ room, Sans’ room, upstairs hallway, the kitchen, the living room. All good.

She tries to read the label on the only switch that was on before the blackout. A piece of tape clings loosely to the label next to it. Unlike the rest, this one is a thin strip with unreadable text on it. If she didn’t know it said something, she’d probably mistake it for a piece of modern art with all of the lines and curves.

But that’s not why she’s here, so she flicks the switch. A slight jolt snaps between the switch and her finger. It’s not painful, but she shakes her wrist out anyway.

Blackouts are annoying.

She heads back inside after ensuring she’s properly locked the fusebox, locking the door behind her and checking to make sure it’s closed. Sans is still asleep and Papyrus looks very surprised.

“HUH. THAT’S A LOT FASTER THAN SANS HAS EVER DONE IT.” He tilts his head. “ARE YOU AN ELECTRICIAN OR SOMETHING?”

“No. I just turned on the proper switches.” She sits back down. “Is there a reason most of the power goes to one place?”

“… NOT THAT I CAN THINK OF?”

“Weird,” she mumbles, eyeing Sans for a brief moment.

Very, very weird.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Envy is too paranoid awake to even

think

about going to sleep. She’s been staring at the ceiling for hours, listening out for the slightest sounds and waiting for something to happen. She doesn’t flinch when she hears a floorboard creak. She doesn’t move when footsteps thud above her. Why couldn’t she just leave? Why did the guards think she was a monster? Why did she bother coming up to Mount Ebott to begin with?

She wishes her mind would be quiet. Not that she would sleep either way, but the noise was annoying.

Every time Envy closes her eyes, she has a weird urge to check the time. To make sure she’s been awake. That no time has passed. That it’s still 1:19 AM. 1:20 AM. 1:21 AM. She rubs her eyes and looks at the clock. It still reads 1:21 AM. This provides no comfort.

The same questions that have been rattling around in her mind since she had the barrel of a gun shoved in her face sound louder now. She rolls her thumb along her knuckles. She checks the time again. 1:21 AM. Nothing has changed.

Envy silently gets out of bed. She’s not worried about getting caught—the doors don’t creak, and she’s figured out which parts of the floor do. So she opens the door and steps outside, folding her arms to shield herself from… the…

Wait, why isn’t it cold out? Why is it actually kind of

warm?

Despite the Underground being as dark as it is, Envy swears that Snowdin has gotten brighter. And it’s significantly changed in decoration. She looks down to see her shoe pressed against the center of a stone tile. It connects to another, and another, and another, all of which create an entire path. A nicely trimmed lawn frames in the path, all of which eventually leads into a forest of pine trees. Cautiously, she looks behind to see… well, it’s definitely still Sans and Papyrus’ house. But where did the Christmas lights go? And the snow?

Alright, well… maybe this is some sort of town magic. Different seasons during different times of day, or if everyone in the town was asleep? Envy didn’t really know the extent of what magic could do. Who’s to say it wouldn’t affect the town?

Carefully, Envy steps down from the porch. Her arms are wrapped around her now not because she’s cold, but out of protection. The quietest tap of her shoe against the stone can just barely be heard. A brisk breeze flows through, gently running its hands along Envy’s cheeks as it passes.

Her eyes travel along the buildings, stopping as she does in front of what should be Grillby’s. A place she had been earlier that evening. But in the same loopy cursive as before, the sign now reads

Muffet’s.

Familiarity flashes through her mind at the name, but she can’t remember who it belonged to. Immediately, she’s bothered. Who had she met with that name? And when did they get a business that apparently replaced Grillby’s?

There might be a clock in there, she thinks to herself. And that shouldn’t be enough to get her to try the door, but it is.

The knob turns, only a bit, and stops forcefully. Not giving up, Envy peers through the window to see if she can get any clues that way. But the lights are off and it’s nearly impossible to see anything except her own reflection.

Great. Perfect. Just what she needed.

Maybe the inn is open?

Envy thinks as she shifts from walking on the stone to the grass. It’s quieter, which is something she’s concerned about for some reason.

She approaches the inn and tries the door.

Locked.

Again.

She’s about to go back to Sans and Papyrus’ house when something catches her eye. It’s a sign that looks like it’s supposed to welcome outsiders to the town. It’s made of stone and brick and honestly? It belongs at the entrance of one of those rich neighborhoods that you can’t enter if you don’t have a gate code. Instead, it’s resting on the edge of Snowdin.

… No, wait. The sign says,

Welcome to Sunnedout.

Admittedly, this throws Envy for a bit of a loop.

Sunnedout?

Why the hell is this place called

Sunnedout?

The only option after that is to go back to Sans and Papyrus’ house, which she really should have done to begin with. It’s the only place she

knows

is going to be unlocked when she gets back.

As she trudges back, she starts to get that familiar feeling that someone is watching her. But wherever she looks, nobody is there. No traces of anything.

If I was in Snowdin, I wouldn’t

have

this problem,

she thinks to herself. That was one benefit of living in the permanent aftermath of a blizzard: footprints everywhere. And it gave her an excuse to wear long-sleeved clothes without people asking why. Here, she was starting to get hot.

That should be fixed soon, though. Envy stops in front of Sans and Papyrus’ house and twists the doorknob.

It doesn’t open.

And that doesn’t make any sense, because Envy

knew

she had left the door unlocked. She had left it unlocked, right? She checked it and it wasn’t locked,

right?

She had no way to lock it from the outside without a key, which she

didn’t have,

and it would be impossible to miss her absence on the couch on the way to the door. So why is it locked?

She tries again. Nothing.

Why

is it

locked?!

And she couldn’t even pick this one. It’s a combination lock, which… now that she thinks about it, Sans and Papyrus definitely

don’t

have. Before she can think on it any further, a shadow casts over her and the smell of smoke tickles her nose.

“H u m a n.”

Normally, Envy would have attacked. Defended herself. But

normally,

she wouldn’t have immediately registered the voice and the silhouette as a non-threat. The person behind her is definitely Papyrus, she decides as she turns around.

“Oh, Papyrus. Finally, someone I—” Envy cuts herself off when she sees him.

Papyrus stands behind her, though it’s hard to tell what his exact features look like behind the Groucho mask he’s wearing. Instead of a battle body, he wears cargo shorts and an orange hoodie that reads

what the fuck

in black text. A cigarette hangs loosely from his teeth, on the verge of falling out given how his mouth is open in shock.

“… that’s… how do you know my name?” Papyrus asks.

Maybe she’s too observant for her own good, as she’s been told so many times, but the Papyrus that Envy knows wouldn’t

introduce

himself to someone wearing a Groucho mask, he wouldn’t be wearing this style of casual clothes, and he

definitely

wouldn’t be surprised that she knows who he is.

Funnily enough, his demeanor reminds her less of Papyrus and more of

Sans.

“hey. i asked you a question.”

Envy balls her hands into fists.

Don’t say anything to escalate the situation.

“I heard about you from the shopkeeper.”

He still looks skeptical. As skeptical as one can behind a Groucho mask, anyways. He should really take that off if he wants to be taken seriously. “and why are you trying to break into my house?”

“Your brother invited me. Sans, right?”

Papyrus narrows his eyesockets in a way that unmistakably defines Envy as a threat, despite his relaxed posture and tone of voice. “ah. then who am i to stop you from headin' in? my bro must've given you the combination if he likes you so much.”

Envy stares at the combination lock. Sixty-four

thousand

possibilities to put in, and she had no idea which one was right. Still, either Sans or this weird version of Papyrus put it in, so it was likely a lot easier than she thought.

Her hand cranks the knob, keeping a careful eye on Papyrus the whole time.

1-1-1.

She tries the lock and is surprised when it opens up to what is definitely the interior of Sans and Papyrus' house. Most of her surprise lies in the fact that the combination was
1-1-1,
though.

Envy steps inside and turns to Papyrus with a newfound confidence. “See, I wasn’t lyi—”

Nobody is behind her. She’s standing alone in the doorway, and a gust of cold wind shoots through her bones. Hurriedly, she closes the door behind her and locks it. Her eyes instinctively scan the room, and it definitely looks like Sans and Papyrus’ house. The one she had fallen asleep in, to be specific, which she knows by the bunched-up blankets on the couch.

What

happened?

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The couch wasn’t such a bad place to sleep. Envy woke up with a bit of a stiff back, but she doesn’t really have problems outside of it. It motivates her to get up, at least. She pulls her clothes over the jagged scars that paint her body, hoping nobody saw them while she was asleep.

She pulls the blankets off of the couch and folds them. It feels like the right thing to do. It also makes her feel weirdly empty. She’s bumming off of her…

acquaintances’

couch and she’s not sure if she can afford rent and she’s… well. She’s just annoyed.

Envy pushes the door open to see Papyrus already outside, which wouldn’t be surprising on its own. But Sans is there, too.

“ENVY!!” Papyrus waves eagerly. Sans just shoots her a thumbs up.

Her mind goes back to last night. This was definitely not the Papyrus she’d ran into last night. But it had definitely happened—she was

sure

of it—and yet there’s no explanation for the

how.

As magical as monsters are, she’s not sure they can explain how she ran into a more Sans-like Papyrus last night. They’d probably tell her it was a dream or she was insane.

Which, fair.

“Good morning.” She bows at both of them, eyeing Sans to take her mind off of Papyrus. “Why does Sans look like you forced him out here?”

“WELL, I WOULDN’T SAY

THAT—”

“no, yeah. that’s what happened.” Sans sits up, snow falling off of his skull. Hopefully not

into

his skull. She’d hate to have a repeat of the incident from a few days ago. “apparently, being a guest here gets you out of work. can i trade places with ya, v?”

“I don’t think that’s how it works.” She’s a little amused, honestly. “You’ll have to take it up with Papyrus.”

“AND I SAY THAT’S

NOT

HOW IT WORKS!!” He nyeh-heh-heh’s.

“bro, i pay rent.”

“AND I DO EVERYTHING ELSE!! SO WE’RE EVEN.”

And Envy was just freeloading. Ugh, she’s so useless. “Do you two need help with work?”

“NO, NO!! YOU’RE OUR GUEST.” Papyrus gasps and puts his hands against his cheekbones. “WAIT!! I SEE WHAT YOU’RE DOING!!”

“You… do?”

“YES!! YOU’RE CHALLENGING IF MY RESPECT AS YOUR FRIEND OVERRULES MY RESPECT FOR YOU AS A HOUSEGUEST!!”

Envy internally winces at the word

friend.

She’d never had a safe relationship with someone who wasn’t a member of her family.

“What are you two doing out here, anyway?” She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. She needs to cut it soon.

“well…” Sans picks at a thread on his hoodie. “paps wants me to be here when undyne n’ alphys arrive for training.”

Envy can’t stop the questions from tumbling out of her mouth. “Training? Wait, Alphys and Undyne are coming over? When?? Why wasn’t I informed???”

“YES, YES, THEY’LL BE HERE IN…” he checks his watch. “ONE MINUTE AND FIFTEEN SECONDS. AND I TOLD

SANS

TO TELL YOU.”

“couldn’t. she wasn’t in her bed when i went to tell her last night.” Sans looks at Envy in a way that might seem normal, but she can see the suspicion hiding behind his eyelights. “where were ya, anyway? didja go for a late-night walk?”

“That was the plan,” she half-truths. Full-truths? Envy still isn’t completely sure if last night was a dream. But it happened. It

must

have happened, why else would she remember it so vividly?

“WELL, REGARDLESS. I MUST PREPARE THE TRAINING GROUNDS!!” Papyrus heads for the nearby garage, adding on something about not having expected to go inside there today. This leaves Sans and Envy alone.

“so… how was your walk last night, v?” Sans asks.

“It was a walk.” Envy folds her arms and pushes out a breath. The air materializes into a thin vapor in front of her. “If you’re worried, I can protect myself just fine.”

Sans gives her a once-over. “well, i’d be lyin’ if i said i wasn’t worried. i’m glad you’re alright.”

Envy sighs. As much as she appreciates him saying that, she feels a slight disgust at herself for not being more detailed. She’s felt this disgust time and time again, every time she’s done things she’s far too familiar with, and now she’s just… here. With two people who want to be her

friends.

She’s never been in a situation like this before, especially not without stakes.

Maybe that’s why this feels so wrong? Because it’s not the extreme level that she’s used to?

And speaking of stakes…

Her eyes move to Sans. “Would you say we’re friends?”

Sans looks a little taken aback by the question. “yeah. why?”

“Because she’s

SHY!!

And needs

VALIDATION!!!”

Ah. Undyne was here.

Envy turns to see the familiar monster with another one she doesn’t recognize: a short, stout yellow lizard with a lab coat underneath her cutesy winterwear. Behind her rectangular glasses holds a shy gaze, and two buck teeth poke out from her mouth.

That must be Alphys,

Envy realizes, and bows in greeting. “Hello. You must be Ms. Alphys.”

Alphys stares in shock, and for a second Envy is worried. Does this monster have x-ray vision or something? Can she see her scars?? Can she see

what caused them??

Does magic work like that???

“Oh—oh, my god.” Alphys’ hands (claws?) fly to her flushed cheeks. “I’m so—I’m sorry for staring!! It’s just… y-you’re just so pretty!! And I bet you’d look—I mean, you would be the perfect person to do a Mew—a Mew Mew Kissy Cutie cosplay!!!”

Envy can tell she’s going to regret asking, but she does anyway. “Who is… ‘Mew Mew Kissy Cutie?’”

Alphys’ eyes widen and her jaw drops. “Y-YOU DON’T KNOW MEW MEW KISSY CUTIE?! Ohhhh my god, okay, s-so it’s like this—it’s like this

anime,

right?? A-and it’s about this cat girl—she can control minds—a-and it’s

so good,

it’s

so good,

a-and it should have stayed that way!! But of course—of

course

it didn’t, a-and the second game t-tried to have ‘genuine’—‘genuinely mature themes,’ a-and it

sucks,

a-and the fandom

sucks,

a-and I think you look s-so pretty, you’d be perfect as Mew Mew, a-and that’s not to say Undyne

isn’t

pretty, b-but you remind me

more

of Mew Mew, who I d-don’t have a

crush

on, I’m with my g-g-gillfriend—I mean

g-girlfriend—”

“Okay, I get it.” Envy feels incredibly uncomfortable right now. God, this is like that time someone she knew absolutely

insisted

that she watch

Human Centipede.

Huge mistake. “Uhm a few questions.”

Alphys’ eyes light up as if Envy had agreed to do whatever it was she was asking of her. “P-please do!”

“I’ve never really

heard

of anime. Or a cosplay. Or a fandom. What

are

those things?” Envy feels the regret growing with each question, but she’s not doing this without knowing what she’s getting herself into.

“YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW,” Papyrus says flatly, nearly putting his hand on her shoulder before stopping himself and mumbling out an apology.

Envy elects not to ask any further questions.

“HEY!! You know what we should do?!” Undyne catapults herself over Alphys and lands in the middle of the little circle everyone has created. “We should watch ALL of Mew Mew Kissy Cutie after TRAINING TODAY!! ISN’T THAT

AWESOME?! NGAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!”

Envy couldn’t agree less. To make her point, she breaks off from the group and squats over the snow, finding interest in the way her finger so easily permeates the material. It reminds her of something her father used to say to her.

Siate come il ghiaccio. Siate freddi, duri e abbastanza forti da non rompervi mai e poi mai.

Be like ice. Be cold, be hard, and be strong enough to never, ever break.

She hates that saying. What kind of ice doesn’t break? Was her father completely delusional all those years?

Actually, looking back… yes. He most certainly was.

“not gonna participate?” Sans asks as he stands next to her.

“No.” Envy looks up at him and Alphys, who is giving them a strange look. “I know you aren’t going to.”

“ouch.” Sans sits next to her, frowning when he does and immediately moving to stand back up. “what the…?”

Something shifts around in the snow, and a familiar slab of pink pokes out.

“Toby!” Envy scoops him out from underneath the snow and rubs his fur to get out the excess. “What’s he doing out here?”

“dunno,” Sans says. He glances up at Alphys and motions for her to sit next to them, which she does.

“W-well, it’s a g-good thing he’s—it’s a good thing that Toby has thick—thick fur.” Alphys adjusts her glasses. “A-and cute pointy ears a-and a tail, just like Mew Mew Kissy—Kissy Cutie!”

Envy sighs and starts working on a piece of ice that’s stuck to Toby’s fur. “Again, I don’t know who that is.”

“Y-you

have

to watch it. Y-you’d

love

her!!”

“I would?” Envy asks.

“D-do you like cool—do you like fight scenes?” Alphys prompts with a gleam in her eye that Sans seems to recognize. Not a good sign, given how he tenses a bit.

But Envy’s not really paying attention to that. Does she like fight scenes? No. Not really. She always found them to awaken something in her that she tried to keep dormant. And that was if they were accurate. The rest of the time, it was too painful to watch.

“They’re alright,” she says instead, because that’s clearly the answer Alphys is looking for.

“if ya want a cool fight scene…” Sans nods towards Papyrus and Undyne, who are about to start sparring.

Envy sees the opportunity and seizes it. “I wonder who’s going to win.”

“paps,” Sans says at the same time Alphys stutters out, “U-Undyne!”

Envy leans forward, resting her chin on the top of Toby’s head and trapping him between her knees and ribcage. Not so much that he gets squished, but enough to keep him warm.

“EN GARDE!” Papyrus shouts, summoning a bone out of thin air.

Undyne does the same with a spear. “You’re

toast,

dork!”

Undyne lunges forward, slicing the sharp edge of the spear through the air. It cuts through the bone Papyrus is holding, though not without resistance. Papyrus takes the now-broken weapon and spins it so the sharp edges stick out.

“I APPRECIATE THAT,” he smirks in a way that makes it sound like he

planned

for that to happen.

Papyrus swings his leg upward, knocking Undyne backwards when he connects with her spear. It’s a

hard

kick, too. She skids through the snow, stabbing her spear to slow the friction. Papyrus is already charging, and he throws one bone that

barely

misses Undyne as it lodges itself into the tree behind her.

Undyne pushes herself up, running back at Papyrus with her signature war cry. He pulls his free hand up, and a wall of bones explodes from the ground beneath. Undyne forces her spear into the snow again and pole-vaults over the still-growing wall. It dissipates, and she spawns another in the palm of her hand after landing.

Behind Papyrus.

She takes the opportunity and throws the spear at him. It catches on his scarf (which shouldn’t be a surprise) and he’s lurched against the wall of bones he made. In a last-ditch effort, Papyrus pulls up another wall of bones to protect himself from Undyne.

As much effort as he puts into pulling the spear out, it is

in

there. He tries to use the other bone he has as a sort of wedge, hooking it in the space between the wall and the spear itself. Twisting, turning, pulling,

whatever

it takes to get out of this situation.

Sans and Alphys watch with bated breath, but it’s far too clear to Envy that he’s already lost.

“Hey,

Papyrus.”

Undyne has already passed the wall and stands in front of (behind? It depends on the angle, really) Papyrus with a sea of spears all aimed directly at… something white and glowing.

“What’s that?” Envy asks as Papyrus desperately tries to talk his way out of losing the spar.

Her question snaps Alphys back from whatever world she’d been in. “W-what’s what?”

“That glowing thing on Papyrus’ chest.” Alphys’ gaze follows Envy’s. “What is it?”

“O-oh! T-that’s a SOUL. I’m sure that yo—I know y-you have one too!”

Envy thinks back to the library. A SOUL… that thing that monsters were attuned to, right? The thing she’d accidentally found out how to destroy?

Not really, though, since I don’t know what a SOUL is,

she thinks before immediately scolding herself for having that thought.

There’s a fight going on. Pay attention to that.

Now that she was looking more carefully, Envy was starting to realize something she hadn’t before. Undyne and Papyrus (who had somehow freed himself from her clutches) were both aiming for each other’s chests. What an odd choice. There had to be a reason for it.

“How does it work?” Envy asks. When Alphys doesn’t respond, she looks over to see that her new acquaintance is distracted by Undyne and Papyrus again.

“hey, v.” Envy looks over at Sans, and is only mildly surprised to see him with a giant foam finger. “i can explain to ya how SOULs work, if you’re curious.”

“In combat or in general?”

“well, i don’t really know the ins n’ outs of combat. i’d ask paps or undyne about that. but i can tell ya pretty much anythin’ else.”

Envy doesn’t need to think about her answer. “Okay.”

Sans scoots closer to her, lowering his voice as he speaks. “alright. so, the SOUL is basically the centerpiece of your being. it’s the reason you’re alive, so ya gotta keep it safe. but there’s two types o’ SOULs. monster souls, n’ human souls.”

“What’s the difference?”

“human SOULs are stronger. not to get graphic, but monster SOULs are a lot weaker than the ones humans got. so when we, y’know, kick the bucket, we’re dust. literally. unless you’re a boss monster. then your physical form persists after death, just like humans.”

Envy tries not to wince when he mentions death.

“that bein’ said… monsters are pretty much their SOULs. we’re made of magic, jus’ like they are. but you’re just… how do i put this…” Sans taps his chin in thought. “it’s your

essence.

think of it as a… whaddya call ‘em… oh, organs. SOULs are shaped like a heart, which… i think is what they’re supposed to represent. for humans, anyway.”

Sans draws a heart in the sand. It’s simple: two curves that meet in the middle, stretching down into a point at the bottom. That is

not

what a heart looks like—Envy would know—and the fact it’s meant to represent one helps exactly none.

She isn’t liking this so far, but she doesn’t say anything. “So what does all of that

mean,

exactly?”

“they’re there in your body to serve a purpose, and they are essential to your survival, but they aren’t

you.”

Sans pauses. “actually, that’s not entirely true. human souls have traits to them.”

“Traits?” Envy is

very

confused now.

“traits, as in… integrity, for example. or kindness. different traits have different colors, and i think there’s somethin’ about them functioning slightly differently in battle…?” Sans shrugs. “like i said. not my department.”

“Is there anything else I need to know?” Envy asks.

Sans thinks for a minute. “nah, not really.”

Briefly, the thought crosses Envy’s mind that Sans might have contributed to research on SOULs during his time as a scientist.

Then, she does the sensible thing and pushes it to the back of her mind.

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┕━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┙

“Gotcha!”

Undyne’s triumphant voice cuts through Envy’s thoughts and catches her attention. Undyne and Papyrus had been sparring for a couple of hours now, and she was admittedly a little bored at this point. And cold, but she’d die before she admitted that.

Undyne stands with a foot on Papyrus’ chest, spear in hand. “Ya fought good, but you’re totally dead now!!”

“THANK GOODNESS WE’RE FRIENDS, THEN,” Papyrus remarks as Undyne helps him up. Her attention doesn’t stay on him for long, though.

“HEY!! Dojo lady!!” Undyne points a finger at Envy, just like when they had first met. “I challenge you to a spar!!”

“My name is Envy,” she corrects as Toby squirms in her grip. “And why do you want to fight me?”

“‘Cuz I wanna see what you got!” Undyne points the spear at Envy in challenge. “Maybe I could give some tips so you can run your dojo better!!”

Envy narrows her eyes. Tips? Was Undyne calling her a bad fighter? Was Undyne calling her

weak?

She didn’t like being called weak, and

especially

by someone who was challenging her combat skills.

“If you insist.” She releases Toby without thinking, who immediately bounds up to Papyrus and snatches a bone he’s carrying out of his hand. Papyrus shouts and chases after the dog, ending up in a mini-wrestling match to get his bone back.

Weirdly morbid when Envy thinks about it.

Actually, it’s just weird in general.

Envy approaches Undyne, watching as she dissipates her weapon just to suplex a pile of snow. Admittedly, it slows her walk a little—was she trying to get in her head? What kind of psychological tactic was

this?

Was she trying to get in her head?

It’s just a spar. For fun. You’re fine.

Envy reprimands herself for thinking anything further of the action.

She stretches out her arms and legs. “What are the rules here?”

“I dunno. We just kind of stop when we stop.” Undyne shrugs. “Safeword is ‘mercy.’”

“Okay,” Envy says, assuming a defensive position. “Ready when you are.”

“Alright, dojo lady. Show me what you’ve got!” Undyne lunges forward, materializing a new spear.

Envy ducks when Undyne swings, grabbing the handle of her spear and yanking it in her direction. Undyne loses her balance for a moment, but regains it as she struggles to maintain control of the weapon. She’s pulling hard. Too hard.

Envy lets go, and Undyne falls down into the snow. Envy takes the chance to get back up, glancing around the area. The tree is pretty close to Sans and Papyrus’ house. Immediately, her eyes are drawn to a stick near the front door. If she can just keep Undyne distracted…

Envy charges Undyne, launching her foot towards her face. Undyne blocks it with her spear, but the force causes it to crack a bit. Undyne twists the spear, and Envy topples a bit. With a triumphant grunt, Undyne pulls her hand up to summon a cage of spears. Envy is effectively trapped, the space between the bars only being wide enough for her arm to get through.

Meaning, more than enough.

“Heh.” Undyne approaches the cage. “Gotcha.”

Envy’s hand shoots through the bars of the cage, grabbing Undyne’s wrist and yanking her against the bars. Her forehead smashes into the handles of her own spears, and the spears become translucent.

Without waiting, Envy pulls Undyne into the cage and pushes herself out. She bolts for the front porch, scooping up the stick she’d had her eye on. It’s shaped like a boomerang, so naturally she throws it.

The stick hits Undyne square in the face, and all of her magic spears vanish with a

poof.

By the time she’s regained her footing, Envy is close enough to launch a mean right hook that successfully connects to Undyne’s jaw.

Undyne shakes off the hit and returns it with a swift kick to Envy’s abdomen. Envy stutters in her footsteps, ducking when Undyne tries to hit her again. In a move of pure instinct, Envy grabs Undyne’s leg mid-air.

“What are y—” Undyne doesn’t get the chance to finish her sentence before Envy throws her into the tree. When Undyne winces, Envy knows she’s won.

Envy trudges through the snow up towards Undyne, pressing her foot into her chest just as Undyne did to Papyrus before her.

“Gotcha,” she mocks.

“Wow…” Undyne chokes out a laugh. “You’re a tough cookie, girl! My bad for underestimating ya.”

“It’s fine.” Envy offers her hand to help Undyne up. “I think I’m done for today.”

“Awww, what?! C’mon, let’s go again!” Undyne pulls herself to her feet. “Or, better yet… HEY, PAPYRUS!! You want a round against Chun-Li?!”

Envy doesn’t bother asking who Chun-Li is, instead moving her attention to Papyrus. He’s just

staring,

and he’s not the only one. Sans looks pretty surprised at Envy’s display of athleticism, as well as Alphys.

“I WOULD!!! BUT!!” Papyrus shoots to his feet. “WE AGREED TO WATCH YOUR MEOW-MEOW KISSY GIRL SHOW!!”

“Mew Mew Kissy Cutie,” Alphys corrects.

“WHATEVER. COME ON, BEFORE WE HAVE ANOTHER BLACKOUT!!” Papyrus spins around several times before he marches towards the house. Sans has also vanished, presumably doing that shortcut thing.

“W-well, we should get—let’s go inside.” Alphys pushes herself up and, as Envy walks by, offers her a sly look. When Undyne reaches her girlfriend, she’s pulled down so Alphys can whisper something in her ear.

“No way! I’ll have to ask him,” Undyne guffaws.

Envy frowns, but restrains herself from asking what they’re talking about. It’s not her business and has nothing to do with her.

… Right?

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┕━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┙

After getting settled in the living room, Envy learns through a lengthy lecture by Alphys that a TV marathon isn’t an

actual

marathon. In fact, there’s no exercise at all, which is more confusing than anything else if she’s being completely honest.

“Let me get this straight.” Envy sits on the end of the couch, propping her elbow on the armrest and resting her cheek against her hand. Right now, she’s alone with Alphys and Undyne. “It’s a marathon because we’re watching all of these episodes in a row without stopping?”

“Exactly.” Alphys pushes her glasses up.

“And how long does this go on for?”

“A while.”

“And you knew this?” Envy nods towards Undyne, who nods. “What about the boys?”

Someone moves by the staircase. Envy glances over to see Papyrus coming down the stairs, and she doesn’t miss the slight crinkle of confusion in his expression.

“P-Papyrus! Hi!! Where is—where is your remote?” Alphys asks excitedly.

Papyrus doesn’t answer Alphys. He’s just kind of… staring at her. His eyes move from her to Undyne in what Envy would almost label as

agony.

But his expression changes when his eyes lock with Envy’s. It’s slight, and if you weren’t paying attention you would miss it. But Envy had been doing this for years, so she sees when his smile falters ever-so-slightly.

Why does he look so bothered by her presence?

“What?” Envy bristles.

“I…” Papyrus pauses. “DON’T KNOW WHERE THE REMOTE IS.”

“Weren’t you the last one to use it?” Envy feigns innocence when Papyrus’ bone brow tightens. He’s on to her. He has to be.

“SANS PROBABLY USED IT. YOU KNOW HOW HE IS.”

“what about me?”

Envy jumps when Sans’ voice comes out of seemingly nowhere. In truth, he’s just standing next to the couch. He must have shortcut there when nobody was paying attention.

Abject horror flickers through Papyrus’ eyelights. He takes a step back, gripping onto the wall for support.

“Hey.” Undyne’s voice comes out a lot softer than Envy’s used to, which would hold a lot less weight as a statement if she was talking about nearly anyone else. “What’s going on, Papyrus? You’re not usually like this.”

“I’M FINE!! JUST…” his voice trails off and he doesn’t finish his sentence.

Something’s not right here. Envy doesn’t know

what,

but something isn’t right.

Her gaze hovers over Papyrus’ battle body, landing on his scarf. Or rather, lack thereof.

“Where’s your scarf?” Envy asks.

“OH, I MUST HAVE FORGOTTEN IT UPSTAIRS. MY BAD.” Papyrus salutes the rest of the room and dashes upstairs.

Envy glances over at Sans, who looks more confused than anything else right now. And a little suspicious.

“Did he hit his head during training?” Envy whispers.

“maybe,” Sans mutters back.

“Hey, is Papyrus okay? Did something happen?” Undyne jabs her finger against Envy’s arm. “Did he say something to you? Did

you

say something to

him??”

“I didn’t do anything,” Envy snaps, writhing away from Undyne.

“Sans? Alphys?” Undyne asks in a gentler tone of voice. They both shake their heads, and Undyne grunts. “Shit, what’s wrong with him?”

Depression, probably,

Envy thinks to herself.

No, wait. Maybe it’s Impostor Syndrome? Hmm… could be both.

“… G-guess what!!” Alphys pulls Envy close, and she immediately twitches in response. “E-Envy said she would cosplay Mew—Mew Mew Kissy Cutie!!”

“dontcha mean ‘mew mew kissy cutie

two?’”

Sans asks with a glint of mischief in his eyelight.

Alphys snarls in disgust and (thankfully) releases Envy. “No. Not the second one.

Never

the second one.”

Sans puts his hands up in apology—or defense. “sorry, sorry. but is she being for real, v?”

“I never said I would do that,” Envy says flatly.

“YOU SHOULD!! FOR THAT HUMAN HOLIDAY. WHAT’S IT CALLED AGAIN?” Oh. Papyrus is back, and he’s got his scarf. He’s standing at the top of the stairs like nothing happened.

“Hollow Ween!” Undyne supplies with a sharp grin.

“AH! YES! HOLLOW’S WEEN!”

“I-it’s

Halloween,”

Alphys corrects. “Envy, I-I need you to—please back me up.”

Envy draws her knees to her chest. “I didn’t grow up in the States, so I don’t really know what you guys are talking about.”

“The States?” Undyne’s working eye twists into a confused glare.

Envy really doesn’t want to explain the intricacies of the world’s geography to these guys for the first time. So she doesn’t. “Papyrus, are you

sure

you don’t know where the remote is?”

Papyrus rubs his chin in thought. “I THIIIIIINK IT’S IN THE LEFT DRAWER UNDER THE TELEVISION?”

He barrels down the stairs and dives in front of the television, somehow pulling out the drawer and picking the remote out before he hits the ground. “GOT IT!!”

This success is short-lived. Toby pops up from the inside of the drawer and leaps, snatching the remote out of Papyrus’ hand. Immediately, he gets up and starts chasing the dog in circles around the living room.

Undyne and Sans both shoot each other a look, and Alphys seems more focused on Papyrus than before. So Envy

wasn’t

alone, then. Something was

definitely

going on.

But what?

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Envy has been staring in the mirror for about five minutes now. She hadn’t meant to. She’d just been using the bathroom, but she made the mistake of glancing in the mirror while washing her hands and it’s evident she needs to wash up. Her shirt is stained with grime from the outdoors, she hasn’t changed her outfit during the time she’s been here, and she’s starting to get knots in her hair again.Envy tugs at a curl that’s decided to free itself from the clump on her head that is her hair. It’s grown too long. She needs to cut it. Absent-mindedly, she starts to check the vanity drawers. Where would Sans and Papyrus keep scissors, assuming they had any? Did skeletons use scissors?She rolls her eyes at her own question, because it was a stupid one. More than just hair needs cutting.“MISS ENVY?” Papyrus’ voice startles her back into reality, so much so she instinctively shuts the drawer. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”Envy pulls back from the sink, realizing she’s not in danger of being caught. She wasn’t doing anything wrong. “I need to cut my hair. It’s growing too long.”Papyrus tilts his head. “NO OFFENSE, MISS ENVY, BUT YOUR HAIR LOOKS… NOT VERY SUITABLE FOR CUTTING.”Envy glances back in the mirror. Papyrus isn’t wrong. She could do with some shampoo and conditioner.“Yeah. I need to shower, actually.” Envy sighs and rubs her hand over her face. “Do you mind if I use yours?”“OF COURSE NOT!! YOU’RE STAYING HERE, AFTER ALL.” Papyrus strikes a pose, and at this point Envy doesn’t really care about his scarf blowing in the windless air. “YOU GET READY, AND I’LL GET THE GUEST TOWELS!!”“Sure, just… knock before you come in.”Papyrus takes a second to fully process her request, his face slowly turning orange. “OH!! OF COURSE, OF COURSE. I WOULDN’T WANT TO… AH. YES.”Envy bows appreciatively. Papyrus shuts the door behind him (perhaps too quickly), and she’s alone with her reflection again.Slowly, she peels off her clothes, setting them on the ground as if they were infected. Envy pushes her gaze away from the mirror, not wanting to look at her body. It’s not really easy for her, never has been.A large, gnarled scar on her hip catches her eye. Weirdly enough, Envy can’t remember how she got it, except for the fact it was dark and foggy… and there were some bricks, which might have been what the walls were made of. It’s not worth it. Envy pulls the curtain back and starts up the water. Only over the last year or two did Envy learn about the luxury of hot showers. And hair mousse, which was a lifesaver. Curls and waves could be defined?? After spending so much of her life with short hair that got frizzy all the time, finding mousse was like finding gold.Also, it was something she now realized Sans and Papyrus definitely didn’t have. Why would they?Then the realization dawns on her that they wouldn’t have shampoo or conditioner either. Maybe not even body wash! Because why would they?? They’re skeletons!! They don’t have anything they can use body wash on. … They… don’t have anything they can use body wash on, do they?Envy ignores that thought and inspects the bottles on the shower shelf.Body wash, one in an orange bottle labeled The Smell Of Success. That likely belongs to Papyrus. Despite herself, Envy pops it open to see what it smells like. She inhales deeply, but doesn’t smell anything. Weird. Did Papyrus get scammed? Probably.The second one on the shelf is a 13-in-one body wash/shampoo/conditioner, among other things she’s deciding not to read after she catches the word tinfoil on the bottle’s cursed list. This belongs to Sans. It has to. Who else would let this abomination keep them clean? Not Envy, that’s for damn sure.Now that she thinks about it, though, Sans doesn’t smell bad. Neither does Papyrus. If they did, she would have noticed. Probably commented on it, too.… No. She’s not that mean. Or maybe she is.Is she?But there’s another body wash bottle, sat next to shampoo and conditioner of the same scent. Envy picks up a bottle that teeters the line between green and blue, leaning more towards green. It’s labeled Freesia Petals and Rain, and there’s a note attached. MISS ENVY, IT HAS OCCURRED TO ME THAT YOU WILL BE STAYING FOR A WHILE AND I DO NOT KNOW YOUR SHOWER SCHEDULE. SO I WENT TO PICK UP SOME STUFF. I HOPE THIS MEETS YOUR HUMAN NEEDS!! NYEH-HEH-HEH, PAPYRUS Envy pops open the bottle and squeezes it, allowing the scent to fill her nose. It’s new and unfamiliar, but… she can’t deny she likes it. It’s a rainy and earthy scent, with a floral undertone. It smells like nature, like the forest in the morning after a good storm. That was awfully kind of Papyrus, she decides as she showers. Her hair is thick (which she is rudely reminded of every time she finds a strand on her clothes or when she combs out chunks during her showers), so she needs a lot of shampoo and conditioner to keep it presentable. It’s a long task just to wash her hair, so Envy sings a bit as she does. Settembre would always be a personal favorite of hers.A knock interrupts her showering. “Come in.”The door creaks open, and though she’s behind a curtain Envy can’t help but cover her body. “HELLO! I’M HERE, DON’T… MIND ME.”Envy hears Papyrus drop the towel somewhere in the room. There’s a beat of silence in the room, and it’s definitely an experience to be fully naked on one side of an easily removable curtain while her roommate is on the other. Thankfully, she doesn’t think Papyrus would be so crude as to interrupt her showering. He better not be, anyway.“YOU HAVE A NICE VOICE.”Envy stops what she’s doing. Had he just complimented her voice? As in… her singing voice? Oh, God, had he heard her singing?? How long had he been listening?? That’s so embarrassing, it’s not even funny. Papyrus almost immediately shouts a farewell and slams the door shut to leave. Well, at least she didn’t have to entertain the conversation.That was weird. Then again, what hasn’t been weird lately?┍━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┑┕━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┙Envy steps out feeling slightly rejuvenated and smelling like a flower in the rain. It doesn’t take her long to find the singular towel Papyrus put out for her, thankfully large enough to cover her body. Though, it seems like he didn’t get one for her hair.Envy can shrug that off. What she can’t shrug off is the fact that she has no clothes to change into. Her dirty ones are still on the floor, and she doesn’t have anything clean to change into. Call her privileged, but Envy does not want to wear dirty clothes after showering.Cautiously, she opens the door. Just enough to see into the hallway. “Papyrus?”No answer.“Sans?” She tries.Still nothing.“… Toby?” She’s not sure why she called for the dog, but who knows. Maybe he’s trained to bring towels or something. She wouldn’t put it past the skeleton brothers to do something like that, training Toby to be a butler of some kind. She pictures Toby in a tiny tuxedo and monocle. A little butler dog… what a cute idea.Something cuts into the space that she’s peeking into between the door and the doorframe. Envy jumps a bit and nearly slams the door in the intruder’s face.“HUMAN?”Nearly.“Papyrus?” Envy opens the door a bit more, accidentally letting in the smell of smoke. Papyrus must be cooking something again. “What the—I didn’t think you were here! Why didn’t you respond?”She doesn’t miss the way his eyelights linger on her face, in some areas longer than others. It’s not like this is the first time she’s been ogled—she’s far too familiar with that—but she hadn’t taken Papyrus to be the type to do something like this. He’d hide it, at least.She clears her throat, and he’s snapped out of whatever trance he was in. “OH. SORRY. WHAT WERE YOU SAYING?”“I need some clothes and another towel for my hair. And somewhere to put my dirty clothes.” Envy hopes she isn’t asking for too much. “This isn’t too much, right?”“OF COURSE NOT!! I’LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO!!” Papyrus salutes.“No need to salute.”“RIGHT!!” He turns to the side, cups his cheekbone, opens his mouth, and proceeds to do nothing.Envy frowns, cautiously creaking the door open just the slightest bit more. Her hand waves in front of his face, earning no reaction of any kind. He’s not even blinking.“… Papyrus…?” Envy almost wants to go out and touch him, just to see if he’ll react to something more tangible.“I AM MOVING SLOWLY. BUT I SHOULD SPEED UP RIGHT ABOOOOOUT…” His hand changes so that he’s holding a phalange up. “NOW.”In the blink of an eye, he’s gone. In her surprise, Envy pushes the door open completely to check the hallway, only knowing he’s not by the door because it slams against the wall. “Papyrus??” She calls out, more confused than worried.
“Woof!”
Envy looks down to see Toby sitting at Papyrus’ feet with an extra towel, a bag for her own clothes, and what appears to be Sans’ clothes. If she didn’t know any better, she’d say that this was one of Papyrus’…
what did he call them? Japes, right?Envy looks around to make sure nobody is watching before she makes her next move.“Good boy, Toby!” Envy kneels down and scratches him, her hand moving to his stomach when he rolls over. She kisses the top of his furry little head and calls out to Papyrus, “Never mind, I’ve got what I need!” Not that he responds or anything. Envy rolls her eyes; he probably went to the store to buy her a new towel and clothes. Which was sweet, but also a waste of money.And now she’s left to wear Sans’ clothes…“Toby, baby?” She coos, hoping to God nobody else is hearing her right now. “Is there… a different set of clothes you could get me?”He yaps and bounds off towards Papyrus’ room. That little demon!“NO! No, no.” Envy scoops up Toby. “No. Papyrus’ clothes are not an option.”Toby whines and looks up at her, ears pointed down and the most pathetic look in the world adorning his face. Envy sighs. She couldn’t stay mad at him. He was a dog. “Okay, okay. I’ll wear the clothes you got me.” Envy sets Toby down and readjusts her towel, holding it tightly against herself as she beelines for the bathroom again.Scooping up the materials Toby gathered, she closes the door behind her. Sans is only a little shorter than her, but they definitely don’t have the same proportions.Finally, she slips on the shirt and jacket, trying not to think too hard about wearing someone else’s clothes. The outfit smells like ketchup and a menagerie of other foods that Envy would put to the likes of fast food. Oh, well. At least they’re clean. Unlike her pants, which she elected to re-wear.She’s shoving her dirty laundry into the bag Toby brought when the doorbell rings. Envy thinks about getting the door for maybe two seconds before electing to ultimately ignore it. It’s probably Undyne or Alphys.She picks up her clothes and opens the door, trying to figure out a good spot to put everything. Realistically, they’ll end up in one of the boys’ rooms. Who would be less weird about it? She could think of reasons that both of them would find it weird, and honestly neither of them would probably be willing to let her store her dirty clothes in their closet for the next four days. She certainly wouldn't want to do that.“MISS ENVY!! YOU’RE NEEDED!!” Papyrus’ voice cuts through the silence of the house. So he can’t respond to her when she’s calling for him but he’s available to let her know someone’s asking for her? What is with him?She walks down to see Papyrus and Sans standing in the middle of their living room, quietly talking amongst themselves. She can’t hear them, but does catch snippets of what they’re saying.
“… doesn’t make much sense…”

“… Why Wouldn’t She Say…”

“… i don’t think she knows…”
“What don’t I know?” Envy asks, her voice alone causing the skeleton brothers to jolt in surprise.“v, hey, didn’t see ya… there…” Sans’ awkward attempt at a casual greeting trails off into a different question. “are those my clothes?”Envy glances down at what the zipped-up jacket she’s wearing, then at Sans’ shorts that she’s still holding. Now that she’s looking, she notices Sans doesn’t have the jacket he usually wears. Great. Envy stole his jacket. On the other hand, it answers a question she’d had about him: how do skeletons get fat?Answer: they’re big-boned. Sans doesn’t look much different, maybe just a bit more… unusual without his jacket she’s seen him in so often. He’s still a big guy, but his bones are definitely thicker than any other she’s seen in the past. It’s more obvious now that she can actually see his forearms, though.“uh, v? is there somethin’ on my shirt?”Shit, she’d been silent for too long. Envy scolds herself when she realizes that it must look like she’s staring. How could she make either of her house-hosts uncomfortable??Out of shame, she bows. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I needed an outfit change and this is what Toby brought.”“nah, i don’t really mind. not gonna give ya shirt about it.” Sans winks at her, this one feeling more cheeky than before. “feel free to borrow my clothes again if ya need ‘em. they look better on you, anyway.”Is he flirting or just teasing her? Either way, the only response he gets is an unimpressed glare.“Ignoring that… why was I needed?” Envy sets down Sans’ shorts on the couch. “And what don’t I know?”Papyrus and Sans exchange a look, and neither of them seems to want to be the one to tell her what’s going on. “What don’t I know? ” She more demands than asks.“WELL…” Papyrus sucks in a breath through his teeth. “THERE ARE SOME OFFICIAL-LOOKING HUMANS HERE SAYING THEY’RE LOOKING FOR YOU.”Envy’s heart drops to her stomach. Had her luck run out already??? Had they found her?? Did she… did she have to go back? “What did they look like?” She asks. She doesn’t want the answer.“UHM…” Papyrus hums as he thinks. “THEY HAD DARK BLUE UNIFORMS, WEIRD HATS, AND A SHINY GOLD THING ON THEIR CHESTS!!”“i think they said they were part of the police force,” Sans adds.This information settles the growing knot in Envy’s stomach. If they had found her, they would never send the police. So it can’t be them. “Did they say why they were here?”“just said they’re lookin’ for ya.”Well, there’s not much she can do with that information. She slings the plastic bag over her shoulder and goes for the door. “I’ll handle them.”The two brothers look at one another, silently sharing an agreement before returning their attention to Envy.“let us come with you,” Sans offers, which is the last thing that he should have offered to do.Though, if the cops tried something, Envy would rather have a capable fighter (and Sans) by her side than no one at all. But what if they said something regarding her past? Or something about her family? Or what if—“No,” she says, both cutting off her train of thought and as an answer to Sans and Papyrus’ offer. “I have to do this alone.”Papyrus looks like she had told him he was dead to her. “OKAY, WELL… JUST… TELL US HOW IT GOES.”Envy feels a twinge of something that makes her uncomfortable. She’d handle it later, she decides as she opens the door, wincing slightly against the cold air before closing the door behind her. Now she’s standing face-to-face with two police officers. And sure enough, they’re human.“Miss Invidia Tirabassi?” One of them asks lamely.Envy feels the discomfort pushing its way into her tone, and she tries just as hard to keep it out. “Yes…?”“Shit,” the second officer murmurs, lowering his glasses. “They weren’t lying.”“Lying?” Envy asks in more surprise than anything else. “Who? About what?”“The King of monsters said there was a human down here.” When Envy only provides a confused look to the officer, he continues. “You’ve had two missing persons reports filed on ya.”Envy is beyond surprised. Not one, but two missing persons reports were filed on her? “What? By who?”“The Valtorta family and Trinity Banks.”Oh. Ohhhhh. Envy should have seen that coming.The Valtorta family was more of a surprise, but if she had to guess, Frisk was probably the one who insisted that something was wrong. While it could have also been Orlando who noticed, Frisk was the one who had been visiting the dojo. And the dojo had been closed for a few days at this point, which was unusual.Then there was Trinity Banks, the mayor of Ebott City. Also the closest thing Envy had to a friend, which would explain why she put in a report. That’s probably when the police started taking things seriously.As much as she wanted to go home, she also knew she couldn’t leave Sans and Papyrus blindsided by leaving. It would be the decent thing to at least tell them what’s going on. Just in case something happens.“I understand,” she bows. “Let me speak to my housemates before I go.”“Five minutes,” the first officer grunts.Envy doesn’t need to turn around to know that the boys have been watching the entire interaction through their front window, but the hurried close of curtains only confirms it. She opens the door, deciding to pretend like she hadn’t noticed anything.“SO??” Papyrus worriedly asks. No point in sugarcoating it.“I’m going back to the Surface.”Sans tenses. “what? why?”“I was reported missing twice. I guess Asgore mentioned that there was a human down here.”“YOU’RE LEAVING US?” Papyrus looks crestfallen.“Only temporarily. I’ll see you guys again soon.” Inwardly, she’s a little surprised that she’s saying that. No, they hadn’t given her a reason to not see them again, and they worked for her, so she would see them again anyway. But still…“That said.” Envy bows. “Thank you for everything.”“not a problem, v,” Sans supplies with a tighter grin than usual.“NYOO-HOO-HOO!!” Papyrus falls to his knees dramatically. “WE’LL MISS YOU, MISS ENVY!!”Envy finds that she might miss them, too.┍━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┑┕━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┙Envy leans back against the cushions of the car seat, watching the trees go by at far too slow a pace for her liking. She was off to the mayor’s building, upon Trinity’s request. As happy as she was that she was back on the Surface, she couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong.Maybe she was bothered by the parting. It had been surprisingly difficult, given that Papyrus refused to let her go. He was… weirdly insistent that she stay, actually. So much so that Sans had to pry him off of her.Thank God she didn’t throw up this time. At least, not on their carpet.Envy curls in on herself, making a mental note to never allow someone to get that close to her again. She didn’t have to touch people to make a living anymore, so she shouldn’t have to touch anyone at all. Not even Papyrus or Sans, who have been nice to her, and have housed her, and what did she do in return? Nothing. She didn’t do anything except be a bitch and use their shower and eat their food and—“We’re here.”Envy snaps out of her spiral, recognizing the marble building in front of her. She’d been personally invited once or twice before, and it was the second place in Ebott that felt like home to her. Not necessarily because of its grand, imposing features or the way it loomed over the city in a silent threat. She just liked the mayor.“Thank you,” she says before leaving the cab. She walks up the stairs trying not to think about why she could have been requested to come to the mayor’s office. Did Trinity really want to see her that badly? Actually, she thinks to herself as she opens the door and heads inside. It has been a while since we’ve last seen each other. Unlike the guards at the cave entrance, Envy is well-known amongst the staff at the mayor’s office. Not to the point she’d share personal information with them or call any of them friends, but they had rapport.“Hi.” Envy waves to the front desk woman, leaning against the countertop. “Trinity asked for me?”“Hello, Miss Invidia. Yes, we’ll call her and send you in.” The front desk woman picks up her phone. “Hello, Miss Banks? Yes, Invidia is here… yes… alright, thank you.”She sets the phone down. “Mr. Banks will be coming to get you.”Envy looks concerned. ”Which Mr. Banks?”“Matthew,” the front desk woman confirms, and Envy can’t help but breathe a silent sigh of relief. Thank God it was Matthew and not the other one.She feels something vibrate in her pocket.Matthew YOU’RE BACK??? OMW RIGHT NOW Envy rolls her eyes at the text. It’s nice to know that people care about her enough to text her, she guesses. Absentmindedly, opens her text messages to see if one of the negative five people she knows has texted her.Trinity Hey girl!! I’m sorry I didn’t come visit last week. It’s been hell with all this ‘integrating monsters into our society’ Jazz. So much controversy, over what?? Anyway, wanna meet up next week? Trinity Envy? Trinity Is everything okay??? You haven’t responded. Trinity I swear if you don’t respond I’m going to the police Trinity Please don’t end up on a True Crime podcast It looked like these had all been sent less than a day ago. Weird that Envy hadn’t received any of the text messages.She opens the next one.(XXX) XXX-XXXX Hi!! It’s Frisk!! That was the only one from that number. She assumes they’re texting from their parents’ phone, and she’s about to change the contact information when she sees the other texts she hadn’t opened.(XXX) XXX-XXXX Hi, this is Orlando Valtorta. I think my kid got your number. Sorry in advance. Eyebrow-raising enough, but then she sees the next one.(XXX) XXX-XXXX Hello! This is Andrea Valtorta. I heard classes were cancelled and just wanted to see if you were doing okay. Envy slowly digests the information that too many people have access to her at any given time as she changes the contact information. Now Frisk and both of their parents were in her contacts list.Oh; wait, she’d missed a text.Sans knock knock Well, it would be rude not to respond.Envy Hi, Sans. Sans knock knock Envy Who’s there? Sans howard Envy Howard who? Sans howard you doing Envy What a joke. I’m losing it. Envy I’m fine. Sans pic or you’re lying That’s an odd request, but if Sans really wanted one then she supposes she has no reason to deny it. She takes a quick selfie or three, picking one that looks okay before sending it and deleting the rest.
*Sans liked an image you sent.
Oh, come on. She didn’t look that good.Envy shoves the phone in her pocket, looking up just in time to see someone running towards her. Someone she’d recognize from a mile away.Matthew Banks, brother of Trinity Banks, and the second closest thing Envy had to a friend. “Envy!!” Matthew shouts, skidding to a stop right in front of her. “Oh, my god, where have you been? We’ve all been so worried!!”“I’m okay,” she reassures. “I guess service in the Underground isn’t as great as I thought. I didn’t get any of the texts from anyone.” Except for my clients, she realizes, but doesn’t verbalize. Instead, she asks a hard question.“Is Finn here?” “God, no. Trinity doesn’t even come home anymore when he’s there. She’d die before letting him get anywhere near you.” His face scrunches up briefly before he returns to the smile he was wearing before. “Trinity’s stopped her meeting just to see you again. Come on!” Matthew motions for her to follow, which she does.There’s something comforting about the audible clacking of footsteps everywhere she goes. She’s taken to memorizing people’s footsteps, and she had quite the impressive repertoire. For example, Matthew had footsteps that went ta-ta-ta-tap. Trinity’s sounded more like tap-tap-tap, tap-tap-tap. Sans’ sounded like, tap. Tap. Tap. And Papyrus’ were more along the lines of TAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAP. … When had she memorized the skeletons’ footsteps?She’s brought back to reality as Matthew throws the door open to the mayor’s office. “Trinity!! She’s here!!”Envy sees six other familiar faces in the room. Trinity, Frisk, Asgore, Toriel, Orlando, and Andrea. The latter five are sat in chairs facing Trinity’s desk. They turn around as Matthew throws open the door, all showing their equal levels of shock in different ways.“ENVY!!” Trinity shoots to her feet and runs around the desk as quickly as she can in heels and a pencil skirt. “Oh, my god, I’m so glad you’re okay!”Envy allows her to take her hands, though she can’t stop the discomfort at being touched. Even by Trinity, she’s never liked it.A laugh that she hopes doesn’t reflect how she’s feeling cuts through the air. “Ha, yeah… I’m alright.”She flinches a bit when someone else hugs her, and looking down she finds Frisk latched onto her like a lifeline. Big… big sis Envy… they sign with one hand, and she can tell they’re crying.“Hey, hey. Shhh. I’m okay.” Envy releases Trinity’s hands and squats down to comfort Frisk. “I’m fine, see? It’s all okay.”Frisk peers through their bangs—which are longer since the last time Envy’s seen them—doing their best to hold back tears. Envy offers a smile as if to say, see? I’m fine! You don’t have to worry about me. It seems to work. Frisk wipes their eyes and their breathing is a lot steadier after blinking a few times. They return the smile, signing again.
Why are you wearing Sans’ clothes?
Envy had honestly forgotten she was wearing Sans’ clothes. She doesn’t like that she’s doing it, mostly because she’s not familiar with the fabric, but also because it makes her feel really weird. “I was staying with him,” Envy answers truthfully.“What?” Trinity leans in. “You're staying with someone?? Who??”Trinity shoots Envy a look that says tell me more later. Envy responds with a sneer that says there’s nothing to tell. “I presume she means the skeleton brothers,” Asgore supplies with a furrowed brow. “Two of my innocent citizens.”Trinity pinches the bridge of her nose. “For the last time, I believe your citizens are innocent. I didn’t want to enforce the ban, but—”“But now they are all stuck Underground again! This is not fair.”Trinity and Asgore shoot heated glares at each other, the tension in the room extremely thick. Envy is about to do an Irish exit before the attention lands on her.“Hey, you were down there. Maybe you can provide some perspective.” Trinity moves back behind her desk and fishes out a note from a drawer. It’s in a plastic sheet, which Envy takes to read for herself. Count your days, it reads.“Oh, my god…” Envy drops her hand. “Someone is threatening you?”“My superiors think the note was written by one of King Asgore and Queen Toriel’s subjects. I disagree, but the ban was put in place to protect me.” Trinity ignores the irritable glares Asgore and Toriel are directing at her. “We’re currently in a difficult position, as I am discussing the threatening letter I received with the King and Queen. Neither of them seem to believe that their citizens were responsible.”Toriel speaks with authority, but no malice. “Because they are not. If one of our citizens wrote that, we would know. Monsters have a very specific way of communicating, and this is not it. We come from the belief of kindness, gratitude, and more. There is no way any of my subjects would threaten you like that.”“I believe you, but I’m not the one making the accusations,” Trinity groans out. “You have to understand. We are both in positions of political power, so I’m sure that you understand that while your citizens might not be responsible for the threat, I still have to take it seriously.”“Have you received any more threatening letters since then?” Asgore asks.“No, I haven’t.”“Maybe it’s a hate group?” Envy suggests, mostly to refocus the blame somewhere else. Not that she has any place to talk when it comes to politics. She barely knew jack from shit when it came to that, and yet here she is in all her audacity.Trinity frowns. “It’s possible. But as long as the possibility of it being a monster stands, my superiors insist that you remain on lockdown.”“Well, them remaining on lockdown isn’t working. I had a gun pointed at me even though I’m not a monster,” Envy argues.“I know! I don’t like it either, but this goes beyond me.”“You’re the mayor, aren’t you??” Orlando’s voice cuts through the conversation. “Do somethin’!”“I’m trying!” Andrea stands up. “Our child almost died to free the monsters, and now you’re denying their right to life peacefully?!” “This goes beyond me!!” Trinity looks like she’s about to explode. They must have been talking for a while; she doesn’t usually get angry.Toriel taps a claw on the table to grab Trinity’s attention. “If we have to be on lockdown, can we at least stay on the Surface?”Trinity pauses, her expression thoughtful. It’s clear this isn’t the first time this has been brought up to her. Her eyes are filled with the familiar look of someone who’s contemplating their options.“There are some problems,” she starts, and Envy feels her heart sink to the bottom of her feet. “Regarding that.”“Like what?” Asgore asks with a deep authority that fits the intimidating figure he has.“Where are they going to stay, for one.” Trinity holds up a singular finger. It would have been a little funny to Envy if the situation called for it.But she was right. Where could they house an entire society? Even though it had been a month, it didn’t seem like there was any plan in place. Going back to the Underground wasn’t an option, though that was pretty much what was happening now. No human was about to willingly room with someone that they knew nothing about, and leaving Ebott wasn’t an option. But it wasn’t like they had an entire pre-built town on hand just in case of this exact situation.… Except, they kind of did.“The old village,” Envy blurts out in what she hopes is a moment of clarity. “By the mountainside.”Naturally, with the only people present being non-native Ebott residents (save for the Valtorta family and Envy herself), all she receives in return is a menagerie of less-than-convinced expressions. But Envy knows in her heart that she has to keep pushing.

“I don’t mean Ebott City.” Envy waves the idea off as if it were a fly. “But there’s an abandoned town on the outskirts of a cliff that’s down this path. It’s considered a historical landmark, so it’s actually been maintained pretty well. I think it would fit at least most of these monsters.”Frisk furrows their brow and signs. Do you mean the old town that tourists visit? Yes, that is the one she’d meant. A town named simply that: Town. Given the literal names of the Underground (seriously, Hotland? That was so on the nose it almost hurt) and the uncertain origins of Town, Envy had a feeling that the town had belonged to monsters at some point.“Old village on the mountainside…” Trinity bites her lip in thought.“The one you had to tour and told us was like if haunted houses actually existed?” Matthew asks. Envy had honestly forgotten he was there, and by the looks on some of the others’ faces, she wasn’t alone.“Ohh! That village.” Trinity folds her arms and blows out an uncertain breath. “Believe it or not, I actually do need permission to do anything with that. But I’ll definitely look into it.”“Pardon me,” says Asgore, and Envy notices the regret in his eyes. “I do not want to destroy a historical landmark for the sake of my people. I believe that would be a rather damning stain on what I hope is a clean slate for the monster reputation.”Frisk snaps their fingers and starts rapidly signing. Trinity, Asgore, and Toriel eye them in confusion as they perform a dramatic speech that Envy is honestly struggling to keep up with.Orlando stands up. “I’ll translate for ya.”“Please,” Trinity sighs.“There’s no historical record of any human havin’ ever lived there. But if monsters exist, then they must’a built the village and lived there.” Orlando watches Frisk for a bit more before continuing with a confused expression. “And… a deed? What deed? How d’you know what that is??”Frisk just shrugs, earning a stern look from both parents.Still, the suggestion they had provided wasn’t a bad one. Sure, they probably wouldn’t do anything for a while. But it was a suggestion, and more importantly if Frisk was right, then there wasn’t really any excuse to deny the monsters their home.“A deed to the town? If that’s true…” Trinity rubs her chin. “I’ll be sure to search the historical documents of Ebott myself. If there’s any way I can bring monsters to a permanent living situation on the Surface, I’d be more than happy to help. I'll just have to convince my superiors it's a good idea.”A handshake, and it’s sealed. The president disappears, like some sort of sorcerer, and there’s not even enough time to even comment on it before the door opens again. Envy turns around, expecting a security guard.Her body tenses in an unidentifiable emotion when she locks eyes with Finnegan Banks instead.At least he has the decency to look sheepish. Judging from the gasps let out by Matthew and Trinity, he’s definitely not supposed to be here.Envy opens her mouth, even though she doesn’t know what will come out, but the moment never comes. Not because she doesn’t want to, but because she doesn’t get the chance. All it takes is one blink for it to happen.She’s back in Sunnedout.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Envy has woken up in strange places before. Dark, cramped places. But this time, she’s outside in some of the most summery weather she’s had the pleasure of experiencing.

Or displeasure.

She’s back in front of Sans and Papyrus’ house, in front of the door, and she’s almost

relieved

that she’s back. It means she’s not crazy, right? She’s not crazy! She’s not, she’s not, she’s

not.

Or maybe she is.

Envy hurriedly spins around and walks towards the start of the town (even though she wants to run). For some irrational reason, even though she already knows, the town sign will

solidify

where she is. Reassure her, in a way.

Envy is eerily aware of everything that’s happening; the whistling wind, the branches shaking, what sounds like birds chirping (but she can’t be sure). She hates the silence, hates being alone, hates the idea of there being a threat and her not knowing it. She’s too exposed right now.

Envy notices something in the path up ahead. It’s long, brown, and laid in an almost perfect horizontal line. As she treks closer, she realizes it’s a stick. A more accurate description might be a tough-looking branch, Envy supposes, but that’s also stupid. She aptly steps over it and continues on her way, feeling more exposed than before. She was alone, she shouldn’t be panicking, she was alone—

Crack.

Envy snaps around inhumanly fast, and yet it’s

still

slower than she would have liked. The branch is now cut into two uneven pieces, bits of bark scattered around it.

Fuck,

FUCK.

She’s not alone.

Envy’s eyes are everywhere before she realizes it. At the stick, at the tree that’s about fifteen feet away from her, at the path she came from. But nothing’s out of place. There’s no extra footprints, no rustling branches, no blurs of movement. The only thing that’s actually worth looking at is the broken stick, which hasn’t changed, and if Envy wasn’t so confident in her memory, she’d be thinking that

she

stepped on it.

Envy shakes her head rapidly back and forth. She’s getting in her own head now. She has to keep going.

Envy takes one step back, then two, then a step and a half before turning around and continuing on her way. She’s even more aware now, if that’s possible. The birds aren’t chirping anymore, but Envy isn’t sure if they were there to begin with. The wind isn’t as strong, and that raises the question as to how wind could be produced down here (not that Envy particularly cares). The crunching of the dirt below is louder, more rhythmic. It’s almost robotic.

One, two, one, two.

Envy counts in her head, listening to it as she takes in her surroundings, keeping an eye out for anything unusual.

One, two. One, two. One, two. One, two, three.

Envy stops immediately, her senses

screaming

at her that someone is behind her. She whips less than a second after stopping, but nobody’s there. Her eyes fall to the ground, and her heart drops.

A second set of footprints. They’re faint, but they’re there.

They start about twenty feet back, and stop about fifteen feet back. Envy had been followed for

five feet

and didn’t know. That only equated to about two steps (which is how many were in the snow), but still.

They’re big. Men’s size ten, if Arwen had to pinpoint an exact size. No distinct markings to indicate any kind of brand. Given the distance, she would assume that the owner is somewhere between five-foot-five and five-foot-seven. Envy herself is five-foot-ten, so she’ll likely have a height advantage, which isn’t unusual.

It barely takes thirty more feet of unbearable silence and area-scanning before Envy comes across a strange contraption near the town’s entrance. It looks surprisingly stable and well-kept, a smooth oak making up each individual board. It’s even polished, Envy notices. There’s also something else—a gate, maybe? It’s made of a darker wood, maybe cedar or rosewood. The cylindrical bars are insanely thick, three or four feet in diameter. They’re also too far apart to stop anyone from going through.

Why was this here? And when had it been built? Envy doesn’t know, but it wasn’t here last time.

She takes a step forward.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Envy stops. She’s not sure why; it was the dumbest possible choice. But for the briefest of moments, Envy loses control of her body as the crunching of snow gets louder and louder. It’s starting to ring in her ears.

Then, it stops. Envy realizes she’s doing the

thing,

making sure her breathing is practically silent to ensure her enemy won’t hear her, but her enemy is

right behind her,

she’s

already

dead. She’s completely frozen.

Why can’t she move?

*You’re blue now.

“MWEH-HEH-HEH!!” Envy barely has time to process the cartoonish laughter before it’s owner jumps in front of her. “I’VE CAUGHT YOU!!”

It’s Sans—but it’s

not

Sans. He shares the same physical appearance, sans the outfit (pun

absolutely

not intended). But Envy’s pretty sure Sans has never,

ever

held an interest in trapping humans. Or cooking, unless he’s

not

smelling like burnt food. He’s also never had this much

energy

before. Seriously, he

fell asleep

on her once, which he was apologetic about. Envy was apologetic about throwing up on their carpet again.

Regardless of past memories, something was wrong.

“TWO HUMANS IN ONE DAY! THAT MUST BE SOME KIND OF RECORD!” Sans-On-Crack laughs.

“Can you let me go?” Envy asks nicely. As nicely as she can manage, anyway.

“OH. YEAH, SORRY.” Sans-On-Crack releases her and extends his hand. “I AM THE MAGN—“

Envy grabs his hand, spins him around, and pins him on the ground with his hands behind his back. “Who are you.”

Sans-On-Crack laughs goodnaturedly. “OH! THAT WAS A MISTAKE!”

He jerks his leg up, disrupting Envy’s balance for just long enough to switch their positions. Now he’s the one pinning her against the ground.

Envy smirks and hoods her eyes. “If you wanted to be on top of me, you could’ve just asked.”

His skull flushes a dark, dark blue. “WH—”

Envy clocks him and grinds his skull against the ground, getting closer so he can hear her this time. “I

said,

who are you.”

“UNDER A VERY PRETTY WOMAN, APPARENTLY,” he winks.

“Not gonna work.”

Sans-On-Crack struggles underneath her. He’s strong, but Envy is able to keep him restrained.

“I—” he grunts, trying again to throw her off. “AM THE MAGNIFICENT SANS! FUTURE LEADER OF THE ROYAL GUARD, AND TRAINEE OF ALPHYS!! AND I DON’T WANT TO HURT YOU, SO PLEASE GET OFF!!”

Yeah, right. She believes that.

… Although…

Stop being ridiculous,

she tells herself.

If he wanted to hurt you he would have already. He clearly has the skill set to do so.

Envy thinks for a second. It’s a risky move, but a necessary one. “All right. I’m going to let you go. I don’t want to fight you.”

“HUH?” Sans-On-Crack asks, and she just rips the bandaid off and releases him.

Initially, she thinks that he might jump out or try and hurt her in some way. But he doesn’t. He just stares at her and then he folds his arm and pouts. “WELL, THAT’S NOT A VERY GOOD WAY TO MAKE FRIENDS. EVEN IF YOU

ARE

A HUMAN.”

And that’s not a very nice way to treat people,

Envy thinks to herself, a thought she immediately reprimands herself for having. One of these days, she’s going to let out a snarky remark and get herself killed. Literally.

“Do you mind telling us where we are?”

“OH, YOU’RE IN SUNNEDOUT!!”

“I know that, but where

are

we? Can you give me a location or something?”

“SUNNEDOUT.”

“No, I mean—” Envy sighs and pinches her head. What is she supposed to do with information that she already has? Use it again for the same purpose? Oh, how useful, she can remind herself where she is. Something she could have never done before.

Absolutely revolutionary.

Okay, she should lighten up on the sarcasm.

“Where is Sunnedout

located?”

“OHHH,” he says with a grin that implies he knew what she meant before she specified. “YEAH, WE’RE IN THE UNDERGROUND.”

And her suspicions were confirmed. So they’re Underground in a weird place where Sans and Papyrus are acting like each other for some reason. What exactly is going on?

“Why are we Underground?” She wonders aloud.

“OH, IT’S A WHOLE THING.” Something shifts in his eyes, and his next words sound almost rehearsed. “LONG AGO, THERE WAS A WAR BETWEEN HUMANS AND MONSTERS. ONE DAY, WAR BROKE OUT BETWEEN THE TWO RACES. AFTER A LONG BATTLE, THE HUMANS WERE VICTORIOUS. THEY SEALED THE MONSTERS UNDERGROUND WITH A MAGIC SPELL.”

“A magic spell? Humans can use magic?”

Sans-On-Crack completely ignores her question. “AND NOW WE JUST NEED ONE MORE SOUL!”

Envy frowns. Didn’t Sans—

her

Sans, not this weird one—say that a SOUL was the essence of a being? Kept people alive and stuff? She really doesn’t like where this is going.

“One more soul… and how do you obtain that?”

“TYPICALLY THROUGH BATTLE, THOUGH A HUMAN CAN GIVE IT UP WILLINGLY!”

Human… as in the human who’s exploring the Underground and is destined to free the monsters? As in…

A familiar face flashes in front of her. Envy has a horrible feeling.

“Take me to the human,” she says.

“Right now.”

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Everyone was panicking. One second, Finn had opened the door, the next, Big Sis Envy was just

gone.

Nobody had time to process anything before she disappeared. Why did Big Sis Envy vanish? And, more importantly, where had she gone??

Trinity is gripping her desk, not breaking eye contact with her brother. “We told you not to come back.”

“I’m sorry.” Finn’s hands are up in fear. “I just didn’t think—”

“Obviously.” Trinity changes her attention to the Dreemurrs. “Is there anyone we can call? A scientist or someone who would understand what’s going on?”

“Actually… we have a couple of people I might be able to bring. Let me see if I can contact them.” Asgore pulls out his phone and starts mumbling into it.

“Excuse me,” Orlando says. “What is going on right now??”

Toriel takes both Orlando and Andrea’s hands in her own. “Worry not. We have experts on magic. We will bring in the one who knows teleportation and our Royal Scientist. They are both very reputable.”

Frisk has never been so confused in their life, but they have a feeling they know what’s going on. They’ve done it themselves, some sort of weird time warping stuff, and Big Sis Envy seem to have the same power and that would mean—

“we came as fast as we could.” Sans’ voice cuts through Frisk’s internal monologue. They turn to see Sans, Papyrus, and Alphys. They all look equally worried.

Frisk frowns and squints. Something’s wrong—or rather, some

one

—but they can’t quite put their finger on it.

*PAPYRUS

*CHECK

*HP: 680, ATK: 8, DF 2

*His demeanor isn’t quite the same as it was the last time you saw him… or the time before that… or the time before that…

*Or maybe that’s just a stretch.

“what exactly happened?” Sans asks as Alphys rapidly scrolls through her phone. Frisk can make out some of the text, most of which is equations and notes with words they don’t really understand.

“Everything was fine. Until my brother over there—” Trinity accusingly points at Finn. “Came in unannounced.”

“A-and what happened after that?” Alphys looks up.

“She just disappeared!” Matthew makes a dramatic gesture with his hands. “What happened??”

“W-well… we can’t find—we d-d-don’t k-know where she i-is, s-so we can’t figure out what—we c-can’t answer your question.” Alphys chews on her claw.

Sans looks more worried—no,

panicked

—than Frisk had ever seen him. “it must have been magic, it must have been… but what happened? i mean, yeah, she’s elusive when she wants to be, but she always shows back up… we should’ve gone with her, or tried to stop her, or—”

“SHE’LL BE BACK, BROTHER.” Papyrus pats Sans’ back.

Frisk squints.

Papyrus

was being the voice of reason? Frisk had once scraped their knee and he’d nearly taken them to the hospital. And that didn’t even happen that long ago.

Any talk is cut off by the loud thumping of footsteps and high-pitched screaming drawing nearer. Frisk doesn’t miss the way Papyrus’ eyes seem to widen.

“OH MY GOD, SANS!!” Papyrus bursts through the—wait,

Papyrus

bursts through the door and knocks Finn over? “I GOT HERE AS FAST AS I COULD!! UNDYNE TOLD ME EVERYTHING!! IS MISS ENVY OKAY?!”

The silence in the room speaks

volumes.

Everyone is sharing the same perplexed look as the group eyes the two Papyruses (Papyri?). It feels like even moving is going to send the room into catastrophe.

Frisk risks a CHECK.

*PAPYRUS(?)

*CHECK

*HP: 680, ATK: 8, DF 2

*THIS is more like the Papyrus you remember.

Frisk silently points at the Papyrus standing near Sans. Much to their surprise, he just sighs and drops his arms to his side.

“paps…?” Sans looks visibly disturbed, taking a hesitant step away. Alphys does the same.

“welp. the jig is up.” He looks much more relaxed now. Tired, almost. “sorry for tricking you all and… impersonating myself.”

“I WAS IMPERSONATED??” Papyrus suddenly looks

very

angry. “YOU BETTER HAVE A GOOD REASON FOR DOING THAT, YOU WEIRDO!!”

The imposter doesn’t look worried. He actually looks insightful. “i can explain everything. and i might be able to help, too, if this is the same woman we’re talking about.”

“the same woman…?” Sans shares a look with Papyrus—the

real

Papyrus. “what are you talking about?”

Frisk would like to know, too.

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┕━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┙

“AND I KNOW ALL I NEED ALL ALONG,

IS A PATH AND A PAL AND A SONG

SO I’M SINGIN’,

AND I’M PALLIN’,

WITH YOU!”

It was also weird seeing someone who looked just like Sans act so… energetic. He was singing songs and he was actually walking somewhere instead of shortcutting. And the way he talked… on the way here, he mentioned that he liked riddles, making tacos, and how cool his ‘cool friend Alphys’ was.

That said, Envy

really

hopes that’s the last time she’s going to have to hear Blue (he wears mostly blue, and Sans-On-Crack was

not

working as a name) sing his travel song. He sang it about five times on the way over to… wherever this place was. All she knows is that this place is wet and cold. So cold, in fact, that she kind of regrets not wearing a jacket of some kind.

Unfortunately, Blue starts up again.

“SING A SONG, YES, A TRAVEL SONG—”

Envy cuts him off by putting a hand over his mouth. “No. I don’t want to hear it anymore.”

“WHAT? WHY NOT?”

“Because it’s getting

annoying.”

Blue takes a step back and looks at her with big puppy eyes. “YOU… DON’T THINK I’M ANNOYING, DO YOU?”

Envy’s not entirely sure if she finds him annoying or not. Yes, what he’s

doing

is annoying, but she’s grown used to the eccentric behavior over the past month or two thanks to Papyrus. And living with him as well, that definitely helped her tolerate him. Maybe they were even friends? Could she do that? Could she call the skeleton brothers her

friends?

Oh well. That’s not something she needs to think about right now. Or ever.

“You’re not annoying,” she sighs out. “I’m just really not sure how to… handle you.”

Blue breaks out into a wide smile. “GREAT! BECAUSE I’M GONNA GO FOR ANOTHER ROUND!

SING A S—”

“Don’t you

dare.”

Envy watches as the air she breathes out materializes in front of her. It’s a cruel reminder of how cold it is.

“WOAH! THAT’S SO COOL!” Blue gasps.

“Yeah. It’s because of moisture from my body,” she says simply.

“TELL ME MORE.” Blue stops, considers his words, then adds: “PLEASE.”

“… Later.”

They reached the door, which Blue easily opens.

“ALPHYS GAVE ME THE PASSCODE,” he explains when Envy gives him a look. Okay, so Alphys is still a scientist here.

Inside the lab is clean and pristine, with tiles neatly smoothed over every surface except the floor, which is just a flat white color. There are a lot of complicated machines nearby, ranging from large computers to tiny gadgets that Envy couldn’t even begin to comprehend. Experiments are strewn around the room, and for some reason there’s some figurines and bags of cat food. There’s also a giant hole in the wall.

In the room’s center stands a robot with a cool hat and a soundboard. In the corner, trembling, is… no, that can’t be her. Undyne found her house burning down to be

awesome.

How could she be scared? Of a robot, no less?!

And then there’s a child. Envy knows this isn’t Frisk as soon as she sees them. They’re paler, their hair is too straight, their eyes are a different color, almost red, and instead of the classic blue and purple striped sweater she had seen Frisk wearing in their debut after monsters surfaced, this child was wearing a green sweater with a singular yellow line.

“WELL, HERE THEY ARE!” Blue shoves Envy towards the human as if it’s some sort of grand gesture. “NOW, YOU CAN DO… WHATEVER IT IS YOU NEED TO DO!!”

The robot starts doing some weird music with his soundboard. “EVERYONE! NEW ANNOUNCEMENT! THERE IS ANOTHER HUMAN ON THE SCENE!!”

Envy slides between the robot and the child. “What’s going on? Who are you?”

The robot poses. “MY NAME IS NAPSTABOT! AND OUR GUEST, CHARA, HAS BEEN GUESSING SONGS FOR THE PAST THREE MINUTES AND EIGHTEEN SECONDS!!”

A game show? Envy doesn’t like the sound of that. She looks down at Chara in concern. What was going to happen before she intervened?

“It’s fine.” Chara surprises Envy with their voice. “I don’t need help.”

“This isn’t about

help.

It’s about

safety.”

Envy shoots a side-eye at Napstabot. “Tell me what’s happening now.”

“OH, EASY.” Napstabot clasps his hands together. “WE’RE PLAYING FOR THEIR SOUL!”

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“so yes,” he says scratching behind his head. “i am papyrus, technically, but not the papyrus

you’re

all familiar with.”

“what? what does

that

mean?” Sans’ eyelights are completely gone.

“well, one night i was on ‘sentry duty.’” He makes air quotes and mimes smoking before becoming serious again. “but then… i heard something. i didn’t know what it was at the time. i heard the front door shut, and it was pretty late at night. i knew it was probably my brother, but… something told me to check. so i did, and i found this woman.”

“WHO WAS THIS WOMAN?” Papyrus asks.

“she had a scar on her lip… she had deep brown hair… intimidating and standoffish… kinda paranoid… rockin’ bod…” He thinks, and then adds: “she also looked like she was going to kill me if she saw me.”

“yeah, that’s v.”

“THAT SOUNDS LIKE MISS ENVY!!”

Frisk catches the imposter’s eye and motions for him to keep talking.

“anyway, she explored sunnedout a bit—y’know, my hometown—and then went to my house for some reason. so i approached her, asked what she was doing there. she figured out the combination to our house, went in, and then i was here.” He shrugs. “i don’t really understand how it happened either. but it did.”

“Well… what does this all mean?” Trinity asks as Alphys flips through her notes.

The scientist lights up. “I-It sounds like—and I c-c-could be c-completely wrong here—b-but it sounds like you c-came from

another universe!”

“you mean…” Sans looks intrigued again. His eyelights are back and everything. “our multiverse theory is

right?”

“S-surprisingly, yes!! I’m s-so excited!! E-everything that we’ve—all o-of our studies w-w-were c-correct! T-there are alternate versions, a-alternate

us-es,

a-a-and t-that’s probably where Envy went!! T-to a different universe!!”

“And what exactly does this mean for Envy?” Trinity pries.

Finn scoffs. “Don’t tell me you

believe

this.”

“Monster surfaced from underground and magic is real,” Matthew shoots back. “I’ll believe anything.”

Trinity just ignores her brothers to reiterate. “What does this mean for Envy?”

“W-we can’t detect—we d-don’t know w-where she is just y-y-yet. W-we have to scan her soul a-and store it i-in our d-database to do that. W-we’ll do that when she gets b-b-back, but she s-should be fine, r-realistically.”

“depending on the universe that she ended up in,” Sans adds with a bit too much passive-aggressiveness. Frisk couldn’t help but feel the same way.

“SHE PROBABLY WENT BACK TO WHEREVER SHE WAS BEFORE!! WHERE ARE YOU FROM, UH…”

Everyone stares at the new Papyrus, unsure what to call him. Frisk raises their hand.

“huh? oh, yeah, give it a shot.”

Frisk grabs a piece of paper and a pen and hastily writes down their idea.

Stretch.

They turn it around in offering to see if the new arrival would like it.

“stretch,”

he tests, looking off wistfully. “yeah, sure. it’s not like i’ll be here that long anyway. i can go by nickname for now.”

“why’d ya pick that name, kid?” Sans asked, though his relaxedness seems a bit forced.

Frisk writes down their answer, and a joke.

You could say it’s because this situation is a STRETCH of the imagination.

Sans laughs. “that’s horrible.”

Stretch and Papyrus both groan. Frisk can’t help but smile.

“What about Envy?” Trinity asks (again).

“A-all we can do is w-wait. T-though we m-might want to—it m-might be a good idea t-t-to clear the p-parameters. W-when she c-comes back, we don’t know w-what—” Alphys shoots Stretch a pointed look. “O-or

who

s-she’ll bring back.”

“I THINK SHE’LL BE OKAY.” Papyrus waves dismissively. “HOW MUCH TROUBLE COULD SOMEONE LIKE MISS ENVY GET INTO, ANYWAY?”

┍━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┑

┕━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┙

Envy was in a lot of trouble.
Actually, no. She wasn’t the one in trouble. Napstabot was about to be in trouble if he didn’t explain his damn self. As much as she doesn’t like to fight, she is ready to defend herself and Chara if she needs to.
“Are you trying to kill them?” She asks bluntly.

Blue gasps. “NO!! NAPSTABOT WOULDN’T DO THAT! HE’S JUST A RADIO SHOW HOST!”

Napstabot taps a finger against his… well, he doesn’t have a

chin.

Or a face. “ALL I CAN SAY FOR SURE IS WE’RE PLAYING FOR THE HUMAN’S SOUL!! IF I WIN, WE BRING THEM BACK TO THE KING.”

“And

then

what happens?”

Napstabot goes completely silent, turning to an equally quiet Undyne

“What happens,”

Envy demands again, glaring this time.

“I-I would t-t-tell you, b-but I don’t a-a-actually know.”

Envy can see the lie through Undyne’s teeth. She turns to Blue. “What happens?”

“WE…” His bone brow creases as he comes to a realization. “ALL I KNOW IS THAT WE GET TO BREAK THE BARRIER AND GO TO THE SURFACE.”

The infliction of Chara’s tone betrays their intentions. “It’s nothing bad.”

“You realize it’s going to happen to you, right?” Envy retorts as if it’s a smoking gun. Which, to be fair, that could very well be the last thing Chara sees if they continue with this game.

Then she sees their face. She recognizes the expression: guilt, remorse, grief,

understanding,

and the responsibility that was placed on their shoulders just by existing. It was a situation Envy has been in one too many times.

“WELL?” Napstabot asks. “WE HAVE A GAME TO PLAY AND ONLY A THIRTY-MINUTE TIMESLOT TO FILL.”

“No.”

“NO?”

“No.” Envy stands her ground. “Don’t think I don’t know what’s going to happen. I’m not stupid.”

“WELL, THAT’S A SHAME.”

Thick, metal, and absolutely

massive

cords pop out from behind Napstabot’s back. They gleamed as if they had just been freshly polished. Each of them led to a gloved hand, and each hand was wrapped around a weapon of some kind. An active chainsaw, an AK-47, a cat (that admittedly reminded her bit of Toby), a bomb, a spear, and a whip.

“I HATE TO DO THIS ON AIR, BUT… OH WELL. RATINGS, AM I RIGHT?!” He revs the chainsaw. Envy and Chara both take a large step back.

A large wall of bones shoot up from the floor. Envy looks over at the only possible culprit, who is standing much closer than he was before.

“WH—” Napstabot shouts from the other side. “THIS IS RIDICULOUS!! YOU CAN’T STOP ME!!”

Envy feels someone grab her wrist and yank. She looks to see a frantic Chara trying to pull both her and Blue away from the confrontation.

“Run!!”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“GET BACK HERE!!”

The lab door slams behind them with a loud CLUNK, which is barely heard over the three pairs of feet slamming against the ground to escape. Loud, angry scrapes of metal against metal fade quickly into the background. Blurs of blue and green spot Envy’s vision, and she just has to follow the sandy path to wherever Chara was leading them.
It sounds like Envy’s dreaming. It

feels

like Envy’s dreaming, like she isn’t running fast enough and she’s going to die. Which, great!

Awesome.

She’s right back in the exact same position she promised herself she’d never have to suffer through again. This is why she doesn’t ever mess with things that don’t have to do with her. This

always

happens,

every time.

When she survives this, she’s selling the dojo and never leaving her apartment again.

“This way!” Chara ducks into a horde of seaweed—at least, it

looks

like seaweed. Not that Envy has time to think about it.

How had she gotten to this point? Running for her life in a place she didn’t recognize with people she didn’t know away from someone who was screeching for them to stop like it would make them reconsider. Not that she

wasn’t

used to this, which kind of completely contradicts the point she was trying to make, but did it matter?? She was being chased by a killer robot. That seems like the part that matters.

Is something whirring? Is she just running fast? The ground feels so soft, and ready to swallow her up, and the seaweed, wet and thick, is sliming against her skin and clothes. Gross, gross,

gross.

Where was she right now and how was she going to leave??

”Where are we going?” Envy keeps her voice low.

”DON’T BOTHER,” Blue says. His voice is so

loud.

“HE KNOWS WE’RE HERE.”

“Yeah, because you’re practically giving it away,” Envy hisses.

“I’M NOT DOING ANYTHING OF THE SORT!”

”You kind of are,” Chara says. “But Sans is right. Napstabot has cameras all over Coldsea.”

Coldsea?

Is that where they were? What happened to Sunnedout? And why, on

any

earth, would an entertainer put hidden cameras around a public area?? In case this exact scenario just happened to… happen?? Yeah, right. Sure. Why not?? That’s not crazy. She’s not crazy.

“You don’t know that,” she snaps. “We have to keep going. You have to find somewhere safe.”

”Don’t worry. I know where we’re going.” Chara takes a sharp left. Envy and Blue follow.

”Any idea where we are right now?” Envy whispers to Blue.

He shrugs in response. That’s not settling the weird stir in Envy’s stomach.

“Here.” Chara stops in what looks like a dead end of seaweed looming over them from the vegetation that’s been guiding them here. “This place doesn’t have any kind of cameras. Check it out.”

Chara parts the seaweed. Beyond them, there’s an archway lined with old, broken stone. Cracked wooden doors rest between them, on the verge of total dilapidation, just barely open. Nobody has been here in years, it seems, but maybe there was a point where it wasn’t as secluded as it is today. Maybe there was a point where the children of the king and queen used to play here, if they’d ever had any. Naturally leaving the backyard alone as the years went by. Growing up, growing out of their old habits and play areas and the like.

Wouldn’t that be nice?

”WHAT…

IS

THIS?” Blue looks just as confused as Envy feels.

”I found this while exploring a few days back,” Chara explains with an annoyed huff. “Not that I could get it open…”

Envy studies the door. It looks like it just needs a good tug or two, and it’ll at least open wide enough to let them inside. She cracks her knuckles, an audible

pop

drawing the attention of both other parties. “I got it.”

Chara shoots her a thumbs-up. Blue just stares.

Envy tugs on the door. It’s lodged in place, but not so much that it doesn’t crack off its hinges. Envy gives the door another firm yank, and this time she rips it clean off the hinges. Yeah, this door wasn’t in any shape to be guarding whatever was behind it. It’s not even that heavy, now that she’s holding it. She lightly tosses the door aside, feeling slight satisfaction when it thumps against the ground.

Envy thinks she sees something glowing blue, and when she turns she sees why. Chara is teasing Blue about something—probably about him not being able to open the door—and he’s… blushing, she thinks. She still doesn’t fully understand monster biology.

Whatever. Not her circus, not her monkeys. ”Let’s go. If you’re sure that Napstabot won’t find us here.”

”He won’t,” Chara reassures.

Envy peeks behind the door to see a dark hallway, the walls of which are seemingly never ending. Stretching on in overly exaggerated displays of wealth, shrouded in the darkness that stands in place of light. Gold and purple line the wall in the intricate designs of a tortured artist. One who’s been trapped for years with no other way to express themselves. Unanswered prayers of a better tomorrow bleed through the basic materials. Or maybe it’s just because there’s nothing to light the place up and accentuate the finer details. This place would look wonderful if only there was some light.

When was the last time I was somewhere this lavish?

Envy thinks to herself.

Oh, wait. Asgore’s castle.

”SO…” Blue’s voice reverberates off the walls, bouncing around in Envy’s head. He gasps at the loudness of himself, which repeats the process. Envy grabs her ears, blocking out the noise.

“Be quiet!” Envy scolds in a hushed tone.

Blue looks sheepish. “Sorry. So, What Now?”

The two of them look at Chara—they were the one who dragged them here, anyway. They look a little surprised at the sudden attention, and run a hand through their hair.
”I… I don’t know,” Chara admits. They’re a child, of course they don’t know what to do right now. They can’t be much older than—
Oh, God.

Frisk.

And Trinity, and Matthew, and Sans, and Papyrus. As in,

her

Sans and Papyrus, not Blue or whatever weird Papyrus had been in her dream (which

had

to be connected to this, it just

had

to be, but she wasn’t sure

how

just yet). What had happened to them?? Where did they go??

Would she ever see them again?

And why did she care if she did or didn’t?

She shouldn’t.

But she does.

She shouldn’t.

But she does.

Ugh. She wants to kill herself. It’d be easier than dealing with these… emotions.

Well, right now, she has to keep her head on her shoulders. The safety of Chara and Blue lays fully on her shoulders. She has to make sure that, no matter what, they get out of here safely.

“Hey.”

Blue’s voice grabs Envy’s attention. She gives him a face of practiced stone.

”Are You Okay? You Look…” Blue pauses for a second, searching for the right word. “Stressed.”

”I’m fine. Just… a lot has happened in a short period of time.”

Blue huffs. “Don’t I Know It. As Much As I Am A Fan Of Napstabot, I Suppose This Is Why You Never Meet Your Heroes.”

Envy honestly doubted that he was following them. It’s not like he was very quiet, even if he wasn’t a robot. Although, speaking of Napstabot…

”Hey.” Envy keeps her voice low so that Chara can’t hear her. “Why did Napstabot want Chara’s SOUL so badly?”

Blue is quiet, his gaze hesitantly meeting Envy’s. His phalanges twitch ever so slightly, the material crinkling between the joints of his bones.

”Why did he want it?” Envy repeats, firmer this time.

”To Break The Barrier The Humans Cast So Long Ago. To Get To The Surface And Reclaim Our Freedom.” Blue hugs himself. “For So Long, I Thought Nothing Of It. I Was Told Humans Are Cruel And Unfeeling, That They Do Not Mind Being Sacrificial Lambs For Each Other. And That Their Odd Willingness To Die Extended To Doing So For Monsters. And I Trained So Hard To Help Reach Our Society’s Goal, Thinking I Was Doing The Right Thing, But… Now…”

”Now you don’t know if you’re doing the right thing,” Envy finishes.

“Exactly.”

Envy shouldn’t bother, but she does.

”… You’re doing the right thing.” That’s what he wants, right? Confirmation that he’s morally correct? Not that Envy’s too familiar with morals or anything, but it would probably bother someone if they were going against them. Maybe. That’s what she’s heard.

“Thank You,” Blue says. “What About You?”

“… What

about

me?”

“I Haven’t Seen The Likes Of You Around, And… I Guess I’m Curious About You. Did You Also Fall From The Surface?”

His question, or rather the way he asks it, is enough to imply that he already knows the answer. Envy hates having conversations like this. No point in entertaining it if she knows how it’ll end, right?

“Are you asking me where I’m from?”

Blue shakes his head. “I’m Asking If You—”

“Fell from the Surface, I know.” Envy rolls her eyes, though she’s not entirely sure if Blue saw her do it. It’s dark, after all. “I don’t actually know how I got here, but I didn’t fall.”

“Alright. Where Are You From, Then?”

See?

See?

She

knew

that’s what he wanted to know, so why didn’t he just

ask

her? “I’m from Ebott City.”

“You are?” Chara, who Envy had honestly forgotten about, stops to spin around. “I’m from Ebott City! What part are you from?”

“I live in the apartment complex near downtown.” At least, she

had

lived in the apartment complex downtown. No need to explain her current living situation. “Where are you from?”

“I’m from the apartment building, too!!” Chara looks ecstatic for just a second before confusion washes over them. “But… I’ve never seen you there before.”

“Uh… yeah, now that you mention it, I’ve never seen you, either.” Which is weird, because Envy knew

everyone

in her apartment building. She would know if she’d seen Chara before. “Have you ever been to the dojo downtown?”

“There’s not a dojo downtown.”

Envy almost argues back that

yes, there is a dojo downtown,

she runs it.

But… maybe Chara had really never seen the dojo? But their sentence implied they’d been downtown before enough to know. But Envy had never seen them downtown, or in her building, and they’re Underground again and they’re

trapped,

and where

she’s

from none of this is happening and Sans doesn’t act like Papyrus and monsters are free and Undyne doesn’t do science and

who the

hell

is Napstabot.

… Focus.

Focus.

“You don’t remember a dojo downtown?” Envy tilts her head. Maybe she misheard. “Next to the antique store?”

“No. That’s where Sewtique is.”

“What… what’s Sewtique?”

“It’s a clothes store.” Chara’s tone borders on the edge of what sounds like concern. “You don’t know it?”

“No.” But… how? How are they both from the same place, and yet they remember it differently?

“Maybe One Of You Is Just… Misremembering?” Blue suggests.

“I’m not misremembering,” Envy and Chara snap in surprising unison.
Envy can’t speak for Chara, but she knows she isn’t misremembering. She may not have been in Ebott for too long, but two years is long enough to have the town memorized. Not to mention, Chara is definitely old enough to know what the town they live in looks like. But then… how was this—both the conversation they were having and the situation they were in—how was it possible?
“So, If I’m Understanding Correctly…” Blue presses down a phalange with each point he makes. “You Two Are From The Same Place And Live In The Same Building, Yet You Both Remember The Area Differently, And This Is Also The First Time You Are Seeing Each Other. What Could This Mean?”

“It could mean… uh… we… don’t…” Chara presses their lips together, their words carried by uncertainty.

Envy can’t think of anything, either. The quiet, empty halls the trio stand in feel just that much more of those things when faced with the brutal reality that there is an unidentifiable threat against an unidentifiable victim. Does Envy stand in this room as the person holding the gun, or the person it’s aimed at? What about Chara? Or Blue? Or Frisk, or Sans, or Papyrus, or Trinity, or Matthew?

Moreover, what does any of this

mean?

Envy knows where she is, kind of, but also not really. Underground? Yes. Sunnedout? She’d only been there once in what she thought was a dream or a weird hallucination. Sans and Undyne are familiar faces, but they’re not the same as she once knew them. Not that she knew Undyne that well, but her presence made it clear what kind of person she was, and it wasn’t the kind who would spend their days in a lab. Sans—well, he would, and apparently he did, but that doesn’t explain

his

change in behavior.

And then there’s… Chara, and their general presence. Wasn’t Frisk the one who had released the monsters after going on a journey through their world? Who the hell is Chara? Why are they here? Why is

Envy

here? Why was she able to introduce herself into a narrative that she clearly didn’t belong to?

Good to know that the universe is still conspiring against her.

It’s quiet for a few more minutes as the group basks in the situation they’ve created. There was something gnawing at the core of Envy’s mind trying to unlock possible solutions to this problem. But of course, it wasn’t that easy. It was never that easy.

“Maybe You Should Tell Us A Bit About Yourself,” Blue suggests. “Maybe Then We Can Figure Out Why You And The Human Share Separate Memories Of The Same Place.”

“Tell you about—why would

that

help?”

“Well… he might have a point,” Chara says. “If something weird is going on and it’s affecting our memories, we should figure out what we agree on.”

“And how does telling you things about me help with that??”

“For One, It Makes You Less Incriminating,” Blue points out. “I Don’t Believe We Even Know Your Name.”

“… Who is ‘we?’” Envy glances between Blue and Chara. “As in, ‘we, a collective?’”

“What Else Could I

Possibly

Mean??”

“I—” She forces herself to calm down. Sort out her thoughts. If she’s not careful, she could create a bigger problem for herself. “… Okay, fine. I’ll tell you about myself.”

The pair looks eagerly at Envy, as if she had just promised them both a million dollars. She feels kind of uncomfortable right now, in truth. Not just because she’s struggling to come up with any useful information about herself, but also… who would

ever

care about her this much??

“Uh… my name is Invidia, but I’m better known as Envy. I run a dojo in Ebott City. And…” she glances at Blue, unsure if she wants to mention this next part. Not that it stops her. “We know each other.”

Blue looks around before pointing to himself in question.

“Moi???”

Christ, give her patience. “Yes. Your name is Sans. You work as a receptionist at my dojo and you sleep during most of your shift. You were a Royal Scientist before Alphys took over and a sentry before resurfacing. We’ve lived together for the past month. You sometimes work at Grillby’s.”

“Uh—”

“You like ketchup as a drink, and argue against me when I tell you it’s weird. You haven’t gone through your mail once during the time I’ve known you. You call me ‘V’ instead of my real name and introduced me to Toby.”

“That’s Not—”

“You tricked me with a knock knock joke on a card you gave me when we first met. You broke into my dojo. You’re weirdly good at poker, and you took a bag of flour to the face when I was trying to help you stop a fire—”

“LADY ENVY!”

Blue’s voice reverberates through the halls, harshly invading Envy’s ears. She can practically

see

the words he yelled out bouncing off the walls and away from them. When she turns to look at him, Blue is wearing an expression that’s somewhere between confused and irritated.

“… I Apologize For Yelling, But Please Understand… You Are Making Completely Ludicrous Claims,” he says.

“Ludicrous cla—ludicr—ludicrous cl—” Envy inhales sharply as she stumbles over the surprising tongue twister. “Puta madre, there’s no reason for that to be so hard to say.”

Chara takes the opportunity to step into the conversation. Literally. They’re standing in between Blue and Envy now. “Wait, you guys know each other?”

“No,” Blue denies at the same time Envy confirms with a, “Yes.”

Blue puts his hands up. “Listen. I Know That I’m Incredible And That You Likely Desire My Companionship, But Stalking Me Is Taking It A Bit Too Far.”

“Stalking??

What??”

Envy should know better than to let someone know how she’s feeling, but

man,

that came out of

nowhere.

“Are you insane?!”

“I’m Starting To Think

You

Might Be!!”

“Just—” Envy pinches the bridge of her nose. “Let’s put a pin in that. We need to figure out our next move.”

Chara just looks uncomfortable at the inconsistent answers. “So what do we do?”

”Worry Not! I, The Magnificent Sans, Will Figure Out How To Keep Us All Safe!! We’ll Be Fine!” Blue confidently reassures in an almost convincing tone. But something lurks beneath it.

Doubt.

Envy chews her bottom lip. She’s honestly having some doubts of her own. This entire situation has been nothing short of insane, and that’s saying something. How is it that the first time she can’t explain what’s going on is when she’s with someone she (technically) already knows?

“Maybe we should call Papyrus,” Chara suggests.

“I Would, But…” Blue rubs the back of his skull. “He Hasn’t Been Answering His Phone.”

Envy perks up at the mention of the boisterous skeleton. “Papyrus?”

“Yes, He’s—”

“Your brother, yeah. I know him.” Envy motions vaguely between herself and Blue. “Because I know

you.”

Silence falls over the group like a thick, heavy blanket. Almost like a warning of some kind. Something in Blue’s expression… his eyes… it

changes.

Just for a second, his eyelights are less dilated and his bone brow is slightly scrunched with concern. But it only lasts a second before he returns to the confidence he had before. If Envy wasn’t so used to looking for the barely unidentifiable points in someone’s expression, she’d have missed it.

“… You…” The doubt from before is overpowering any other emotion in Blue’s tone, despite his stature and expression conveying otherwise. “You Don’t Know Papyrus.”

“I

do,”

she insists, and at this point she’s starting to get annoyed at the fact that Blue won’t believe her. Why won’t anyone

believe

her?? “Tall, energetic, wears a… what did he call it… a battle body??”

Blue scoffs, his open hand moving up and down to show off his outfit. “Excuse You??

This

Is A Battle Body. Papyrus Has

Never

Worn A Battle Body. He Wears Hoodies And The Most Ridiculous Gag Glasses I Have

Ever

Seen!!”

Envy is about to retort.

About

to. But why did that spark something in her memory?

┍━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┑

┕━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┙

“Oh, Papyrus. Finally, someone I—” Envy cuts herself off when she sees him.

Papyrus stands behind her, though it’s hard to tell what his exact features look like behind the Groucho mask he’s wearing. Instead of a battle body, he wears cargo shorts and an orange hoodie that reads

what the fuck

in black text. A cigarette hangs loosely from his teeth, on the verge of falling out given how his mouth is open in shock.

“… that’s… how do you know my name?” Papyrus asks.

Maybe she’s too observant for her own good, as she’s been told so many times, but the Papyrus that Envy knows wouldn’t

introduce

himself to someone wearing a Groucho mask, he wouldn’t be wearing this style of casual clothes, and he

definitely

wouldn’t be surprised that she knows who he is.

Funnily enough, his demeanor reminds her less of Papyrus and more of

Sans.

┍━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┑

┕━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┙

Envy wants to bash her head against the wall until she either dies or forgets how stupid she’s been.

“You’re right,” she murmurs in confusion.

Blue stops his showboating. “What?”

“You’re

right,”

she says with more conviction this time. “Papyrus—the one I met here, outside your house, he’s—he was smoking, and wearing a hoodie, and he had on a Groucho mask—”

“Wait, Wait, Wait. Stop.

Stop.”

Blue waves his hands just wildly enough to stop Envy’s incessant rambling. “What Do You Mean, You Met Him Outside Of My House?”

Oh,

gross.

Envy had to recount her dream

again.

The most frustrating part, though, is how

close

she’s finally getting to understanding this. She can feel the answer on the tip of her tongue, and of course she’ll have to be honest to get it.

“We’ve met,” she says simply. “When you saw me in Sunnedout… it wasn’t my first time there. I thought it was a dream, but I guess it wasn’t. I remember walking around the area and going back to your house, which is where I met Papyrus.”

“When did this happen?” Chara asks.

“A few days ago.”

Blue’s eyesockets widen. “That’s About The Time He Stopped Answering His Phone, Too…”

“I remember figuring out the combination to your door’s lock—which, by the way, whoever set that is either an idiot or lazy.” Envy notices Blue’s shocked face and can’t help the pang of amusement in her chest. “But when I stepped into the house, I was… inside the house. But it was the one I was familiar with.”

Chara’s brow knits, their tone taking on a more quizzical consideration than before. “What does

that

mean? ‘The one you were familiar with?’”

It’s amazing how much and how little this conversation was revealing. Learning so much and yet absolutely nothing.

“I live with Sans and Papyrus, but—” Should she say it? She’s saying it. “Not

this

Sans.”

Blue’s smile strains, relaxes, then strains again. “Uhm… Ouch? I Think?”

“You don’t get it—

oh, my god.”

Despite years and years and

years

of unanswered questions plaguing her life, this was nagging at Envy far worse and far more efficiently than anything else. “The Sans I know is nothing like you. You act more like

Papyrus.”

Blue and Chara share a look and burst into laughter. Envy feels her gut drop into the bottom of her shoes.

“Shut up, shut up,

shut up,”

she snaps, shoving her hands to cover Blue and Chara’s mouths. “Are you

trying

to get us caught?!”

“NO, IT’S JUST THAT EASY TO CATCH YOU.”

Envy doesn’t need to turn around to know that Napstabot is behind her. But she does, and he is, and he’s not alone.

Undyne is there, too, still timid and still holding a clipboard of what Envy can only assume are notes for her field of study. The almost-familiar face of Alphys stands next to her, one that Envy would recognize much faster if she was wearing a lab coat and didn’t have her left eye clawed shut. She’s also clearly been working out, her body much more muscular and defined than the last time Envy saw her. Next to her is Asgore, who she almost mistakes for his… wife? Ex-wife? Whatever the situation, Asgore looks much less like a king and more like he’d put on the first outfit he’d found in Toriel’s closet.

Speaking of which…

In the front of the group is a familiar silhouette, and for some reason has the least visible features despite everyone standing in the same lighting. Power and wealth and divinity. A shadow shaped like Asgore, but had the face of Toriel.

Envy instinctively pulls Chara closer to her. She isn’t sure, almost, if Toriel is staring at her or if she’s gone invisible. She hopes,

prays,

that the trio looks pitiful enough to spare.

Please, God, I know you’re not listening, but just in case… don’t kill us.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“Get Behind Me.” Blue summons a bone, about the size of a baseball bat. He holds his arm out to keep Envy and Chara a safe distance behind him, the latter of whom is being held by Envy.

This, Envy imagines, is how those who rebelled against their fates felt like. Coming far, far closer to the holy jury than she’d ever felt comfortable with. Normally, she would see people like these across the ballroom, or whilst hiding in the shadows. It feels disgusting to sit here and just let them

see

her.

“Sans…” Toriel’s eyes look through Blue, drilling directly into Envy and Chara. “Hand them over.”

“WHY?” Blue’s voice climbs up the ladder of unease, and if Envy were to see his face she wonders if there would be tears brimming at his eyesockets.

Probably not.

“You know why. We are one human SOUL away from experiencing the life we were robbed of so long ago.”

“AND… AND THE SOLUTION IS… TO TAKE THEIRS?”

Toriel steps forward just enough for the shadow to mask her face. “The

solution

is to free our people and gain the autonomy we deserve as a species.”

“And the way you are going about it is

wrong.”

Asgore rumbles deeply. Every step he takes is filled with authority and grace, stopping just in front of Toriel. “We have alternatives to reaching the Surface in a peaceful manner.”

“If we have alternatives, why did you not bring these ideas up as soon as you had them??” Toriel’s grip on her scepter tightens.

“Because I refuse to negotiate with a woman who can not see the damage she is causing to anyone outside of her kind!”

“I

understand

perfectly well. Do you think I

want

to do what is necessary to free our kind??”

“So you understand, and yet you

still

refuse to turn away from violence!!”

Envy just barely swallows the unspoken question of

what is happening right now?

She’s not the only one. Blue, Chara, and everyone else have also stopped to watch this argument play out. Everyone is wearing expressions that show varying levels of discomfort, hiding their faces and exchanging glances in lieu of talking. The only exception is Napstabot, who looks

overjoyed

that this is happening.

At least, that’s what she’s gauging from his body language. Napstabot doesn’t… really have a face.

“OH, DEAR!! CAN YOU REPEAT WHAT YOU JUST SAID, YOUR MAJESTY??” Napstabot shoves a microphone in Asgore’s face, driving an involuntary shudder from Envy. “THE TRANSMISSIONS DIDN’T QUITE PICK UP, AND IT’S NOT EVERY DAY YOU GET AN INSIDE SCOOP LIKE THIS!!”

Well, then.

Toriel swipes the microphone from Napstabot’s hand and crushes it in her paw. “You do not have permission to broadcast private matters to the entire Underground.”

Asgore’s surprise fades into anger. “You being a coward is nothing short of

public.”

Envy taps Blue on the shoulder while Asgore and Toriel continue to argue. She nods in the direction of the closely-huddled group of monsters.

“What Is It? Do You Think They’ll Hurt You?” Blue scoffs quietly to himself at the notion. “As If Anyone Could Bypass The Magnificent Sans! Except For Maybe Alphys… And I Would Never Hurt The Queen… And You Got Me Pretty Good Earlier—“

“Giuro su Dio, stop talking.” Envy never lets her gaze stray from the group on the other side of the hall. “Trap them.”

Out of the corner of her eye, she can see Blue’s pupils shrink. She’s also pretty sure he’s started sweating, or at the very least he’s shaking slightly.

“You Want Me To Commit

Treason?

Against The

Queen??”

He whispers through his teeth.

“No. I

want

you to keep your promise and

protect us.”

Envy reaches out behind her, feeling slightly relieved when Chara squeezes her hand. “Just for long enough to convince them not to kill us.”

Blue hesitates, little sparks of his internal conflict flitting through his now-empty sockets. “I Don’t Know…”

Envy sucks in a silent breath. She hates having to fight for her life, but it’s not just about her anymore. She’ll condemn herself if she ever lets a child fall in harm’s way. For a second—only a second—she allows her neutral expression to showcase the screaming pleas from deep within her SOUL.

“Don’t kill me.”

Blue’s eyelights return with a vengeance, and he throws his arm towards the ceiling. Several surprised grunts and screeches bounce off the walls as a cage of bones erupts from the ground to capture the king and queen (which may have been a mistake on retrospect), Alphys, and Undyne.

Alphys lunges for the makeshift bars and immediately recoils with a screech of pain upon contact. Undyne, looking as if she were watching Alphys

die,

hurriedly rushes to check on the large lizard.

Toriel nearly makes the mistake Alphys did, but redirects her hand to her scepter. “Sans. As your queen, I

order

you to release us.”

“I…” Blue’s hand is trembling. “I CAN’T. I’M SORRY, MY QUEEN.”

“SANS!! They brainwashed you!!” Alphys is sitting up slightly now. “I should’ve known better than to trust a filthy human… they couldn’t even make good tacos!!”

Envy just misses the hurt look on Chara’s face.

“Perhaps this is a good thing,” Asgore remarks with a slight side-eye at Toriel. “Now you can not kill any more innocent humans.”

“I do not

want to!”

Toriel glares at Asgore with all the fury of the devil himself.

The snarky remarks quickly devolve into another argument. Alphys is still talking about tacos, Undyne is trying and failing to tend to Alphys, and Napstabot…

Is…

Not here.

“Where’s Napstabot?” Chara glances around the room, their entire body turning to look around them.

A loud

BOOM

interrupts the conversation before it can progress further. Smoke billows from an unidentifiable spot behind them, masking the silhouette of a guy wearing a baseball cap.

Envy’s foot instinctively shifts behind her in anticipation for a fight with a new opponent. Forget the question of who he was or how he got in. He’s not their friend, which means he’s their enemy, and he’s probably armed, too.

If Envy were to look to her left, she would find that Blue is in a battle stance of his own with a bone in each hand. If she were to look behind her, she would see Chara armed with nothing but a stick that they didn’t have before.

But she’s not, and she doesn’t.

The smoke clears at an agonizingly slow pace. As the finer details of the stranger are revealed—white hair, shiny skin, blue clothes—he starts to laugh metallically. And Envy

does

mean metallically.

“Sorry for the wait, my dears.” It’s Napstabot’s voice, but it’s not his body. “But we have a

killer

show coming up for you!”

Blue’s eyes sparkle at the pun. How is he feeling

any

sort of joy right now??

“How did you escape.” Envy isn’t asking a question; she’s demanding an answer.

“I’m a

star,

my dears. I don’t

get

caught.” Napstabot taps his ear with a cheeky smile on his face. “And I’m equipped with the best sound technology known to monsterkind, so I heard your conversation.”

“And you didn’t think, ‘oh, maybe I should

SAY SOMETHING?!’”

Alphys all but roars.

“Sorry, my dears. But I can’t allow unnecessary extras to get in the way of the main show!!” Napstabot poses for an imaginary audience.

Blue doesn’t even try to stop his jaw from dropping. “DID YOU JUST CALL THE QUEEN AND KING ‘UNNECESSARY EXTRAS?’”

“I would

never.

The queen is going to free monsterkind! Or… she

was,

until I entered the picture,” Napstabot scoffs, completely ignoring the offended looks he’s getting from the trapped monsters. “Now, I’ll be sure to make the last thing you ever see…

absolutely beautiful!”

He produces something circular and dark from an unknown space, which Envy was hoping was just magic. It’s not until he lights it up that she realizes it’s a

bomb.

“Napstabot, as your queen, I

order

you to stop!” Toriel shouts.

“I’m sorry, my queen. But

somebody

has to free monsterkind!” Napstabot hurls the bomb directly at Envy.

She dives out of the way, hitting the cool marble floor. Something whizzes past her and explodes, forcing a strong gust of smoke and wind in her direction.

Chara and Blue are on the ground, too. The former is hacking their lungs out while the latter uses their magic to sharpen out his weapon.

The sound of approaching footsteps throws Envy back into her alert state. She rolls over just in time to dodge Napstabot’s foot smashing into the ground where she had just been.

She hooks her foot around his ankle and pulls, tripping him up a bit so she can escape. The sound of bone clashing against metal is heard, a loud scream accompanying it.

The smoke is just thick enough for Envy to crawl through without being seen, so that’s what she does. Fragments of broken marble scrape against her skin. She can feel the gunpowder and bomb remnants latching onto her skin, determined not to let her leave without a reminder of what happened.

Brown eyes desperately search the clearing air for some sign of life. Blue, Chara, even Napstabot if not only to pinpoint where he is. Through the smog, something—some

one—

moves just enough for Envy to notice their presence. She crawls forward.

The grimy smoke gently tickles her already-irate throat. Envy’s breathing grows more ragged and deliberate in an attempt to soothe herself from making any unnecessary noise. Scratch an itch, if you will.

Something green and yellow peeks through the greyness painting the room. Hints of red are speckled, an intrusion to the already-perfect color scheme.

Chara.

Envy swallows a glob of saliva that’s collected in her mouth, trying not to shudder. She forces herself to move forward.

“Chara??” Envy shakes them, hoping they’re still breathing. She checks for a pulse and sighs in relief when they have one.

Is Blue okay?

Envy wonders, glancing over her shoulder. The smoke is still too thick to see anything that isn’t five feet in front of her, but it doesn’t block sound. And right now, it’s

very

quiet.

“Bl—Sans?” Envy throws Chara over her shoulder and risks standing up. It’s stupid,

she’s

stupid, she’s going to get herself

killed.

Silence greets her over the still greyness masking the area. Envy purses her lips and covers her nose and mouth with her free arm as she navigates the fog. If she can just find a wall…

Every step feels like a risk. The ground doesn’t feel stable, her

feet

don’t feel stable. Someone yells something, but it falls on deaf ears. It wasn’t Napstabot, and it wasn’t Blue.

Blue.

If she can find Blue, she’ll be safe. Or at least, saf

er.

While it would be nice to guarantee that Blue would fight for her, she saw how reluctant he was to betray his queen. If he was anything like Envy, he’d find himself regretting his betrayal.

She can’t trust someone just because they have the same face as someone she knows. Yet, earlier she asked herself if he was

okay,

just because he has the same face as someone else she knows.

Cares about?

… No.

And she won’t look down, because then she’ll see that he’s still wearing his clothes. It doesn’ prove anything, except for the fact that his jacket will smell a lot more like gunpowder and dirt than ketchup.

Envy searches for any sign of the bright blue that adorned Blue’s battle body. The bandana he wore where Papyrus wore his scarf, tied tightly around his neck. Mentally, she curses him for wearing grey armor, a feat she would have normally praised for how well it blended with the smoke.

Maybe

too

well.

Envy accidentally steps directly on something hard, her foot stopping before it makes contact with the floor. A strained grunt pushes out of whoever she stepped on, almost like a tube of toothpaste.

“Oh, my god!” Envy staggers back, readjusting her grip on Chara. “Blue??”

Blue sits up, somehow clear of any wounds. “I ASSUME YOU’RE REFERRING TO THE COLOR OF MY BATTLE BODY?”

“I—sure. Where’s Napstabot?”

“I DON’T KNOW.” Blue struggles to his feet, pulling at imaginary ropes to help himself up. Literally. It’s like he’s a mime, or maybe there are

actual

ropes that Envy can’t see because of magic.

“Well,

find him.”

Envy’s tone is sharp and direct.

“RIGHT. STAY BEHIND ME.” Blue summons a bone, gripping it tightly while his other hand grabs hers.

Envy pushes down the nausea.

Don’t throw up. Don’t throw up. Do

not

throw up.

Envy has always had a problem with

needing

to look at things. Getting a shot? She

had

to see the needle pierce her skin. Getting blood drawn? She

had

to watch the blood flow through the tube. Fixing herself up after getting severely injured? She

had

to watch every excruciating piece of shrapnel be removed, dripping in her blood and her sweat but

never

her tears.

She

wants

to look away. But she

can’t.

Her eyes are locked onto Blue holding her hand, mentally repeating the mantra to herself of

do not throw up.

He stops abruptly. Too abruptly. Envy nearly runs into him.

“What—” and that’s all she gets out before she’s literally tossed to the side. She takes the brunt of the impact, her head rattling in pain. The loud thrumming in her head starts BANGING against the walls of her skull at the ear-piercing screech someone lets out.

Envy opens her eyes. Blue is in the clutches of Napstabot, his hands wrapped around the tiny skeleton’s neck. Blue dangles from Napstabot’s grasp, his legs frantically swinging and his hands prying at Napstabot’s.

She curls up, pulling Chara into her lap and shielding them as much as she could without putting them in a vulnerable position. She feels something through her shirt, and she doesn’t need to look down to see that Chara has a nosebleed. They’re hurt. Of

course

they’re hurt, they’re a fucking

kid.

And as for Napstabot… he’s distracted. It would be so easy to grab Chara and sneak away. She would be harmed, but alive. Chara would be alive. She could find a way to get home, maybe bring Chara with her and protect them from the cruelty of a place that wants nothing more than for them to fulfill a purpose. To serve. To

die

for people who have only hurt them, and would continue to only hurt them.

But she can’t stop herself.

“Hey!”

Napstabot’s head

snaps

in her direction. His eye is gouged out, hanging to his socket by a wire. The metal of his face is shredded, a deep gash exposing his circuit board and more wires, some tangled up and others frayed. Sparks light up the area, jumping from the damaged sections of his body and cannonballing into the faded fog.

He’s hideous.

And she sat there, defenseless.

Napstabot lunges. Or, he probably would have if Envy didn’t let herself make a face of mild disgust.

“What?” Napstabot frowns, his eyes targeted on her. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

Envy is taken aback by the question. “Like what?”

Napstabot mimics the expression Envy had worn just a few seconds prior. One hand releases Blue’s neck so he can gesture at his face. To

really

emphasize it.

Envy involuntarily makes the same face back. Why did this matter to him? Were they not fighting to the

death

right now??

“It’s just…” Napstabot drops Blue to fan himself, ignoring the grunt of pain that comes from him. “I said the last thing you’d ever see would be beautiful, and now you’re looking at me like

that,

and this is the first time I’ve gotten to use this body, and… and…”

Envy’s expression drops completely. “You’re not… are you

crying?”

“No!! It must be a malfunction with my eyes.”

Blue and Envy share an awkward look. Of all the things in the world that raised the question ‘how did this happen,’ Napstabot crying at a weird look did it the most. This was the most ‘how did this happen’ thing of all time.

“N… NO, COME ON, NAPSTABOT.” Blue shoots an encouraging thumbs-up, his other hand massaging his neck. “NOBODY THINKS YOU’RE UGLY!”

“I do,” Envy mutters before she can stop herself. Weirdly enough, she doesn’t care that she made Napstabot cry harder.

Blue shoots a glare at her for insulting Napstabot. “LADY ENVY!!”

Envy glares right back at Blue for trying to

help the active threat.

Seriously, the guy had been squeezing Blue’s neck just moments ago, trying to

kill

him, and his response is to encourage him when he’s weak and vulnerable?? That’s the mindset of someone who’s walking into their death.

Maybe that’s what that weird pang in her gut is—irritation. It’s getting louder, the pain pulsing more intensely.

She checks Chara’s face. Their nose has stopped bleeding, the only proof of any injury being the traces of dried red and a forming bruise on their nose.

“ARE YOU OKAY?” Blue asks in a softer tone than before. His eyelights are focused on Napstabot.

Napstabot sniffles. “Well, I—”

“Not You.” Blue glares at the weeping robot, who curls up further. Briefly, his gaze flicks to Envy. “ARE YOU OKAY?”

“They’re fine.” The pain is

really

bad now. She tries to distract herself by combing her fingers through Chara’s hair. It’s tangled and caked in soot. The sight, or maybe the feeling of it against her fingers, dusts off unpleasant memories. “It’ll heal in a few days.”

“THAT’S GOOD.” Blue’s bone brow creases in concern. “WHAT ABOUT YOU?”

“As long as everyone else is still trapped and the ugly robot is disarmed—” Envy winces at a particularly loud cry from Napstabot. The pulsing pain is now coming down in sharp, angry hits. “I’m fine.”

“YOU DON’T LOOK—”

“I’m

fine.”

It doesn’t hurt to move. It’s all in her head. Chara is bleeding and Blue just got choked out. She’s survived worse than crawling around in dust.

“… What about you?” She asks, because it feels wrong not to for some reason.

“WHAT ABOUT ME?”

“Are

you

okay?” Envy isn’t sure she’s ever uttered that sentence in her life. Maybe she has? Who knows. She’s not keeping track.

“I WOULD BE BETTER IF YOU AND THE OTHER HUMAN WEREN’T HURT.” Blue stands up, his legs shaking just the slightest bit as he walks over to Envy and Chara.

“I’m not—” Envy grits her teeth at a particularly powerful jab of pain. “I’m not hurt.”

“SOMETHING IS CLEARLY WRONG.” Blue’s tone is toeing the line of genuine concern. “WOULD YOU PLEASE JUST LET ME HELP YOU?”

He reaches out. She recoils. “Don’t touch me.”

Blue retracts his hand. “… Okay.”

The silence that follows is palpable. Envy cradles Chara in her arms, trying to keep their head up and occasionally checking their pulse. The subtle rise and fall of their chest helps keep Envy grounded, knowing they’re alive.

She’d move if she could. She’d take them to the nearest place that could medically help them, not that she knew where it was. Blue might. Either way, Envy would have been out of here if she could move.

But she can’t. The pain, the pain that started after Napstabot started crying. It’s already evolved into something she’s never felt before, which is impossible. She’s felt every type of pain, she knows she has, and yet the burning in her chest, the clawing at her soul, her SOUL, the destruction of her body’s stability…

She keels over.

“LADY ENVY!” He shouts, which she can only figure out because of the syllables that worm their way into her ears. But she’s not unconscious.

She doesn’t remember being moved, but when she opens her eyes again, Blue is looking down at her with tears in his eyes. When his eyelights flit to the left, it only confirms that his attention is split between her and someone else. Maybe that kid… what was their name? Chara?

Whose lap is she in?

Envy closes her eyes again. A muffled scream of protest from above. Why did this guy get so upset when she closed her eyes?

She opens them again, experimentally. He’s crying harder now, his mouth moving but no words coming out. It’s just noise. A static ringing in her ears, none of which matches up with the movements of the skeleton’s mouth.

Why does a skeleton have a mouth?

Despite her better judgment telling her not to, her hand lifts up and traces an uneven line over his teeth.

He’s saying something again… maybe ‘lady envy?’

Maybe…

May… be…

M… ay… be…

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

It’s an odd thing, to be so aware and yet not at all.

Stretch had been unfortunate enough to be the one in his universe with knowledge on RESETS. Not that he remembered any of the previous runs or anything. That privilege was spread thinly across the rest of the Underground’s residents, but he’d liken it more to a sense of deja vu.

So he’d turned back to a path he’d long since abandoned to explain what was happening: science. Science could help him figure out the behavior of those around him. Science would give him the answer of the kid’s foresight. Science could explain the inexplicable.

And for a time, it did. Whenever he woke up in Sunnedout, it would hurt

so bad

to realize that another RESET happened. What’s worse? He didn’t remember it. But at least he could piece together the

why

and

how.

It gave him some semblance of sanity in the continuous loop he was stuck in.

But science couldn’t explain

her.

Stretch had been thinking about Envy a lot, to put it bluntly. At first, he theorized that she would be like Chara: an anomaly, capable of screwing around with time and space in ways that would serve for their own entertainment. He could feel the magic emanating off of her in waves, a strong and powerful pulse that had him concerned for her SOUL.

Despite her obvious presence, though, he’d stumbled across her by accident. He should have been asleep, but he was out for a smoke instead. Smoking inside usually led to Sans hunting him down like Undyne when she was looking for limited-edition anime figures in the trash.

The thought of his brother and his best friend sent him into a spiral of unanswerable questions. He found it easier to ignore them.

The point is, he wasn’t ever supposed to be outside, but he was. So he found her and he followed her—which, in retrospect, probably spooked her. He’d just wanted to know who she was and why she was in Sunnedout (because despite forgetting the runs he could always remember Chara’s face). Now he’s in this freakshow of a universe where up is down and left is right and nobody is who he remembers them to be.

If he had just left her alone, left the

situation

alone, he wouldn’t be here.

Stretch isn’t sure if getting to see the Surface is worth this mess. At least in

his

timeline, Stretch could anticipate potential events. Here? He had to live through an alternate version of himself to figure out what was going on. Which obviously ended in him getting caught and absolutely no steps closer to getting home.

Stretch sighs and pulls out a pack of cigarettes. It’s his last one, and it’s already halfway empty.

Does it matter if he goes outside? He doubts the Sans of this universe would care, if he’s as close to Stretch in personality as he seems. Stretch’s counterpart, however, would likely be more critical. He

had

spent the entire trip back Underground interrogating Stretch about… well. Everything.

“YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULDN’T SMOKE.”

Stretch cringes at the overly loud voice that he never thought could come out of his mouth. His eyelights flit up to meet Papyrus’, and holy

fuck

is it weird that this is even happening.

Papyrus, to his credit, looks equally uncomfortable. He’d probably never imagined seeing someone with his face or identity doing the things Stretch was doing.

“IT’S BAD FOR YOU,” he continues.

“yup. got that.” Stretch picks out a cigarette and sticks it between his teeth. It’s only after that he realizes he must have left his lighter behind.

Papyrus opens and closes his mouth a few times. When he finally speaks, it’s painfully clear how cherry-picked his words are. “HOW ARE YOU ADJUSTING?”

“i’m adjusting,” Stretch responds halfheartedly.

“OH, YEAH. ME, TOO.” Papyrus rocks back and forth on his feet. “JUST… DOING SO GOOD RIGHT NOW.”

Stretch had always thought that if he ever met another version of himself, he’d have the most intriguing conversation of his life. But then again, he also didn’t think that he’d be dragged into the situation before he was ready. He’d replayed hypothetical conversations thousands of times in his head, but apparently he’d missed the one where he got yelled at for twenty minutes about the moral intricacies of cosplaying himself.

As far as Stretch could tell, their lives mirrored one another pretty well in the most basic aspects.

But not all of them.

Stretch rolls the cigarette between his teeth. “is your roommate single?”

Not the most conventional way to start a conversation. Or the most expected, if the way Papyrus chokes on his own breath is anything to go by.

“WH—MISS ENVY??” Papyrus’ eyes bulge out of his skull. “THAT IS AN INCREDIBLY RUDE WAY TO THINK OF A HOUSEGUEST!!”

“no, no. nothin’ like that.” It was exactly like that.

“DON’T TRY TO LIE TO ME…

OTHER ME,”

Papyrus scolds, his angry expression lasting for all of three seconds before a realization hits him. “OH, MY GOD… WHAT DOES THIS SAY ABOUT

ME

IF

YOU’RE

ASKING THESE RISQUÉ QUESTIONS??”

“you’d also hit that?”

“ABSOLUTELY NOT. I WOULD NEVER HIT A WOMAN.”

“that’s not what that means.” It’s incredible how Stretch can’t even have a conversation about girls with himself. It’s bringing him back to his days in the lab with Undyne as interns. “it means you’d hook up with her. human slang.”

“FIRST OF ALL, THAT’S DISGUSTING AND YOU’RE DISGUSTING. SECOND, HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT AND I DIDN’T??”

“who knows.”

“IF YOU’RE MORE FLUENT IN HUMAN LINGO THAN ME, THEN… WHAT

ELSE

DO YOU KNOW THAT I DON’T?? DO YOU KNOW MORE THAN ME??? ARE YOU…

BETTER

THAN ME???” Papyrus looks down at his hands, almost in agony. “NO, THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE… ISN’T IT? UNLESS… MY GOD. HAVE I LOST TO…

MYSELF?

AM I TRULY SO GREAT THAT THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN OUTDO ME IS

ME?

AND IS IT EVEN ME, WHEN WE DON’T SHARE A CONSCIOUSNESS OR A SOUL OR ANYTHING EXCEPT FOR OUR PHYSICAL APPEARANCE AND NAME?”

“hey, look who’s finally having an existential crisis about the situation.” Stretch allows a lazy smirk to show itself, but not for long. “assuming that, y’know, this is temporary.”

Assuming the situation is temporary.

A dangerous hope, but one that’s probably required if both Papyruses (Papyri?) were going to leave with their sanity intact. Which he would, and then never think about what happened to Stretch ever again. It was… not too much to deal with (because this is The Great Papyrus we’re talking about), but it wasn’t a situation Papyrus had figured out how to handle yet.

Papyrus watches Stretch pinch the strings of his hoodie a little tighter than necessary. If the two are similar in any vein, they’re both probably sharing the same thought right now:

what about everyone else?

“YOU KNOW, WHEN MISS ENVY GETS BACK, SHE CAN PROBABLY HELP BRING YOU HOME!” Papyrus suggests in an attempt to make him feel better.

“you think so, huh?” Stretch fiddles with the knot on his hoodie string.

“I KNOW SO,” Papyrus concedes. And he wasn’t just saying that to make an alternative version of himself feel better. He truly believed Envy would help, despite what she might say. But, as the saying goes, actions speak louder than words.

Papyrus was no idiot. The second he laid eyes on Envy, he knew she would be a tough cookie to crack. But if there was one thing he knew how to do, it was how to turn a stranger into a friend. He had done it with Undyne once upon a time. He’d done it with Frisk. He’d done it for both of them without even

being

there.

The Great Papyrus has never failed at finding a friend in a stranger, and Envy would be no exception.

It was

because

of this firm belief, he decided, that he had so much faith in her. Envy was clearly someone who disliked others, but she also seemed to put their needs above her own. To a… concerning degree, now that he thought about it. In fact, if she had just been selfish and refused to sign their hours sheets, she would have never been trapped Underground to begin with.

Papyrus hopes Envy doesn’t hate him for it. He’s rather enjoyed the short time they’ve had outside of work to bond. Although, he was pretty sure she was hiding something. Being as great as he is, Papyrus didn’t struggle to pick up the subtle signs that something was wrong with her.

He did worry for Envy. In fact, he was pretty sure that he was her first friend. There was a certain unease in her aura and a venom in her tone that

screamed

antisocial. It had dissipated slightly over the course of the past month or so, but it was still there. Her guard was still up. He’d thought about asking her

why

she hated the prospect of friendship to such a degree, but it seemed to be a sensitive subject matter.

So he’d wait. The Great Papyrus had many a skill to match his legacy! And one of them was patience, which you couldn’t spell without several letters from his name. If he could get Sans to pick up his dirty sock (which was a work in progress, but he was getting there), then he could easily get Envy to open up!

Whenever she came back, that is.

… She…

would

come back, right?

Papyrus checks his phone. Sans had promised to text him when there was an update on Envy or the general situation at hand. But there was nothing, which worried him. Not that Papyrus hadn’t been worried the entire time. Envy was his friend, and he wanted her to be okay.

“still nothing, huh?” Stretch asks.

“NO.” If Papyrus had a flip phone, he would have snapped it shut. “UH… YOU HAVEN’T RECEIVED ANY TEXTS FROM

YOUR

BROTHER, HAVE YOU?”

Stretch chuckles at the question. “pretty sure my phone plan doesn’t cover interdimensional conversations.”

“RATS. YOU SHOULD UPGRADE YOUR PHONE PLAN!!”

“i would, but sans says it’s a ‘waste of money.’”

Papyrus doesn’t think before he blurts out, “OH, MY GOD, THAT’S WHAT

MY

BROTHER SAYS!!”

Stretch’s bone brow raises at the similarity. “really.”

“YES! APPARENTLY UPGRADING OUR PHONE PLAN IS A WASTE OF TIME, BUT WHO’S PRANK CALLING EVERY PERSON IN THE UNDERGROUND??

HIM.”

“damn, i wish my brother did that. at least that’s fun. my brother just calls everyone in the underground to see if his riddles are ‘suitable enough for a human.’”

“WOWIE, HE CALLS

EVERYONE?”

Papyrus shakes his head. “I RESPECT WHAT HE’S DOING, BUT IF HE’S GOING TO BE MAKING ALL THOSE CALLS, HE SHOULD JUST

UPGRADE THE PHONE PLAN.”

“right?? if he’s allowed to nag me about picking up a sock, he’s not allowed to complain when i tell him to upgrade the damn phone plan.” Stretch sits up straighter, his eyelights filled with mirth.

Oh, God. There was a version of Papyrus that was guilty of the sock conundrum that plagued his life?? “WELL, YOU

SHOULD

PICK UP THE SOCK.”

“over my dead body.” Stretch bounces the heel of his foot against the floor, then adds: “well, deader than i already am.”

“OH, MY GOD. HOW HARD IS IT TO PICK UP A SOCK??” Papyrus throws his arms in the direction of Sans’ sock resting in the middle of the floor.

“if it’s so easy,

you

do it.”

Papyrus gasps as if he’d just been told that his cooking was actually bad. “IT’S NOT ABOUT PICKING UP THE SOCK. IT’S ABOUT THE

PRINCIPLE.

IF I PICK UP THE SOCK, I LOSE.”

“lose what? your dignity? you already lost that when you started the sticky note battle.”

“WHAT?? HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT’S WRITTEN ON THE—” Papyrus stops mid-question and face palms. “OH, RIGHT. YOU’RE ME.”

“i’m you, yeah,” Stretch repeats.

Papyrus folds his arms. “I STILL THINK YOU SHOULD PICK UP THE SOCK.”

In his hand, Papyrus feels the vibration of his phone. When he flips it over to check the screen, there’s a notification.

SANS

she’s back.

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Envy learned a term not that long ago.

Liminal space.

Empty spaces void of people or animals or anything that didn’t come with it in its construction. Many people apparently found discomfort in these spaces, but growing up, Envy

lived

in those empty spaces.

Despite her family being incredibly rich and influential, walking the halls of her family’s mansion was a privilege she didn’t often get to indulge in. When she did, Envy would often find a new trophy of wealth replacing another, outdated one. Where the unworthy trinkets made of gold and dotted with jewels went, only God knows.

Material items were not present in Envy’s life—at least, not the luxurious ones that were meant to ogled at and shone under the light of chandeliers that cost just as much if not more. Even at a young age, Envy had found her parents’ spending habits to be… questionable. Not that she would ever say it to their faces, or even imply it. That was a death sentence in its own right.

All of this is to say that Envy doesn’t understand why her parents put so much effort into decorating, and she didn’t understand why a chunk of the wall was sectioned off, why she was dressed up, and why she had been brought upstairs. That is, until she saw the painter.

Despite this only happening once before, six-year-old Envy knew the setup for a family portrait when she saw one.

Envy doesn’t argue when she’s told to sit down. Envy doesn’t argue when she has to smooth out her dress again and again. Envy doesn’t argue when she’s scolded for not sitting ‘femininely enough.’ She does her best to keep her posture perfect, her body still, and to her eyes on the painter without blinking. He’s the easiest thing to stare at in a room cluttered with unnecessary decoration. People generally were easier to focus on.

"Stai facendo un ottimo lavoro.” Envy stiffens at a familiar voice from behind her. It’s light, feminine, and it gets her

every time.

“Non sta facendo un ottimo lavoro, tesoro?”

This question is not directed at six-year-old Envy. This question is directed at the husband of the woman speaking, who just grunts at her question. Envy

Envy doesn’t need to look behind her to know what these two people look like. They share her dark hair, tan skin, and brown eyes. They’re the reason she has a roof over her head, clothes on her back, and food on her plate. They gave Envy a place in the Tirabassi legacy, and they don’t let her forget it.

A click of the tongue grabs her attention. “Siediti più dritto.”

Six-year-old Envy is at a point in her life where she was starting to figure out that her father was far more observant than she’d previously given him credit for. She was only slouching a little bit, and yet he’d caught it. Naturally, she sits up straighter.

“Siediti più dritto,” he repeats.

“Non posso,” Envy says quietly, in a voice that she hopes her father doesn’t take as defiant.

Of course, he does. “Puoi, ma non vuoi. Raddrizzare.

Ora.”

Envy pushes her spine back to sit up impossibly straighter. It hurts her back, and she’s pretty sure she’s not supposed to be sitting the way that she is.

“Buon lavoro, tesoro. Ancora qualche ora.”

The praise instantly wipes away any doubt in six-year-old Envy’s mind. For a moment, she feels proud. She was going to go down in history as the most powerful Tirabassi there ever was, and this portrait was just the beginning!

The painter sticks his head out from behind the canvas again. Envy keeps her eyes trained on him, waiting for some sort of direction as the faceless man stares back at her.

His face cracks.

Literally

cracks.

His face splits apart in a pattern that reminds Envy of cracked dirt, but keeps the mushy consistency of flesh. His head drops, the rest of his body following shortly after. The

THUMP

emanates through the room, fading down the hall even though Envy can hear it clanging in her ears.

She tries to move. She tries to get out of the chair. But she can’t.

A heavy weight slumps against her. Envy can’t control her own head, suddenly capable of movement that she didn’t grant it, spinning to the left. Her eyes are glued to the woman that had been behind her, now hunched over and using Envy as support. Her hair spills from her head, covering her face and latching onto Envy’s clothes so tightly that when she falls, Envy falls with her.

She can’t scream. She can’t even open her mouth. All she can do is watch as her father collapses on top of her, knocking the air out of her lungs.

Envy wants so badly to grab her throat and relieve the pain. Her breathing becomes ragged, desperate. Each attempt at an inhale or exhale feels like someone is clawing at her throat, and all they’re succeeding in doing is making her bleed. Unidentifiable sounds throw themselves around the room, pushing themselves over the drowning

THUMP

from earlier. Some are deeper, quieter, casual. Others are loud, enthusiastic, and dramatic. They all follow a pattern Envy can’t quite pin down, but it doesn’t matter because

she is going to die.

Envy hates herself. She hates what she’s become. She hates that she can’t escape, that she’s stuck in an eternal loop of punishment for everything she’s ever done.

Maybe she deserves this.

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Sans slips his phone back into his pocket after texting Papyrus. Envy had finally returned after the longest few hours of his life, save for when Frisk fought Papyrus. Not that he’s going to revisit the memory, since he didn’t want to go through the whole process of what any mental health professional would probably call a panic attack. He’d probably been diagnosed through at least one of the many runs that Frisk had long since abandoned like a story that they weren’t satisfied with, but it didn’t really matter since it was just a waiting game at this point and he’d wake up one day again in Snowdin and not remember

any

of this and—

No,

no, NO.

Sans shoves his personal problems into the part of his mind that he reserves for three AM crying sessions. That’s not what he’s worried about right now. He’s worried about Envy.

“Sans?” Alphys, who had stayed behind with him to keep an eye on the closed-off area in case anything happened, breaks him out of his thoughts. “A-are yo—are y—is e-everything okay?”

“huh? yeah, ‘course i am.” Sans throws a wink in Alphys’ direction. “just thinkin’ ‘bout all of the ways we can celebrate v’s safe return.”

Alphys frowns. “S-sans… it’s okay t-t-to be w-

worried

about her. I k-know I am, a-and we’ve only m-met once.”

It almost feels like a risk to admit that Sans is worried about her. It felt like every time he was worried about someone in

any

capacity, they’d be taken away from him. Maybe he doesn’t

remember

the genocide and neutral runs, but that doesn’t mean they didn’t

happen,

and he’s certainly not an idiot. It wouldn’t be a stretch to say that he’s been conditioned to believe that caring about someone has become a direct pipeline to anxiety and spiraling over every worst-case-scenario involving that person that his lizard brain could conjure up.

Sans knew a lot of people, but he wasn’t

friends

with a lot of people, partly for that reason. The other half was because he just didn’t have the energy to maintain relationships. He could tell you the names of every patron at Grillby’s, every person who took a class at Envy’s dojo, and all of his employers. But he couldn’t tell you the bare bones (pun absolutely intended) of their personal lives. He could gauge a few key things: for example, Bunny was always drunk, loved fries, and probably had a thing for him and Grillby. But he never saw her outside of being slumped over a table at the bar, drunk out of her mind and half-chewing on fries that had long since gone stale.

Envy, though… whether it was at work or the time that they’d started to live together, he could tell you a few things about her that most people probably wouldn’t pick up on. For example, Envy wears long-sleeved clothes all the time, and he means

all the time.

She tends to keep her arms crossed when she doesn’t know what else to do with them. And she liked to drink a steaming cup of chamomile tea every night at seven o’clock PM.

He’d figured out the last one during their time living together. He wasn’t weird. He promises he’s not weird. Just observant. When he wants to be. Which, he’s not saying he

wants

to be observant about Envy, it just kind of happened, and it’s not his fault, and who is he trying to convince, anyway? Nobody’s listening.

Whatever, that’s not his point. His

point

is that he’s worried about Envy because she’s slowly accumulated a real relationship with Sans, which had become a rarity for him over the years. The only people he really bothered to talk to was Papyrus, Alphys, and Toriel. It would be nice to add another person to that roster, especially if she also got along with Papyrus and could stand Sans’ general presence.

besides, who’s gonna employ me if she isn’t around?

He jokes to himself, trying to push down the growing fear in his gut. He just feels a pang of guilt instead.

“… let’s just open the door,” he mutters.

Alphys raises a shaky hand to the doorknob only to drop it again with a special kind of fear in her voice. “I-I can’t—I can’t do it. W-what if s-s-something horrible—what if s-she’s become s-something w-we can’t fix??”

“this isn’t the amalgamates,” Sans reminds her, but he feels almost hypocritical saying it. He can’t open the door, either. And he won’t lie, the idea of coming across anything that is similar to the monsters that were sinking into themselves was an unpleasant one. What if he opens the door and Envy is a literal shell of her former self? What if he opens the door and she’s turned inside out? What if he opens the door and she’s—

The spiraling thoughts send a shiver down his spine, trying to push the thought of Envy out of his mind.

She’s fine, she has to be.

Alphys steps away from the door. “D-do you hear th—do you h-hear—s-someone else i-i-is behind the d-door.”

Sans strains his nonexistent ears to see if he can catch what she’s talking about. Sure enough, he can hear confused chatter from behind the wooden door separating whoever is behind it from the two scientists. None of the voices match the monotone, soft-spoken one that Envy has. They do sound… almost familiar, though.

“holy shit.” Sans meets Alphys’ concerned gaze. “yeah, someone else is definitely in there.”

“O-oh my G-god.” Alphys clenches and unclenches her fists multiple times, her eyes fixed on the door as if it might come to life an attack. “Did—did someone break in? W-were we w-w-wrong? O-or—maybe s-she

is

back? Did s-she bri—bring someone e-else with her? W-what do we—should w—we call someone?”

“i texted paps. he should be here soon.” Sans forces the laid-back tone he’s known for into his voice. Maybe he can at least

trick

himself or Alphys into thinking that it’s going to be okay.

“A-and what d-d-do

we

do??”

Sans really doesn’t want to answer that question, because that means he has to do what he doesn’t want to. Face something he might not want to face. But he didn’t go through dozens of traumatic runs to back out of an incredibly simple task now.

“we have to go inside,” he says firmly. “if she

is

hurt, we have to help her.”

“… Y-yeah, you’re right! We’re statio—sta—we’re h-here for a

r-reason!!”

Alphys puffs out her chest, a display of courage which weirdly enough helps Sans feel a bit braver. “Alright. O-on three. O-one… t-t-two…

t-three!”

Someone kicks open the door.

Sans involuntarily shortcuts a safe distance away, and Alphys falls flat on her tail. A grunt of pain pushes out of her lungs, and Sans’ are too full with the suddenly-thick air that definitely contains traces of wood. Did someone

blow up

the damn place??

He opens his eye, trying to find the person who just destroyed government property. He’s pretty sure that’s a law that humans take

very

seriously, and he’ll be damned if his bony ass gets blamed for the actions of

himself—

Wait.

Sans has to do a double take when the smoke clears. The person in the doorway, holding Envy over one shoulder and a child he’s never seen before over the other, looks

exactly

like Sans. If Sans wore the same clothes Papyrus ever did and was strong enough to carry two people over his shoulder simultaneously, that is.

His breathing is suddenly audible, and he can feel his ribcage rising and falling with depth and speed that’s indicative of

panic.

His eye lights scan the newcomer, searching for any kind of discrepancies that can prove that no, this

isn’t

who he thinks it is. It

can’t

be. He’s seeing a reflection of himself outside of the mirror, and what he's seeing is absolutely

horrifying.

This must be how Papyrus felt when he first met Stretch. Sans is pretty sure he’s speed-running the five—it was five, right?—stages of grief right now. Except instead of the regular order, he was experiencing denial, anger, denial again, bargaining, denial

again,

depression, denial yet

again,

and skipping acceptance to dive right back into denial.

The pair lock eyes. It doesn’t feel real. Sans’ legs threaten to give underneath him, also unable to handle the current situation. Maybe Papyrus was right about actually walking places instead of shortcutting everywhere. Maybe then he wouldn’t be standing on jelly legs. Maybe then he wouldn’t be meeting with himself right now. Maybe then Envy would have never been in danger.

Sans isn’t in control of his voice when he asks: “who are

you?”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Envy is now twenty-three and flying to the States for the first time. The plane is gorgeous. Luxury, dare she say. This is the sort of plane that her parents would probably travel in if they didn’t have such big targets on their backs.

The area she’s sitting in is more akin to a living room than the cabin of a plane. There are sofas—

sofas

—lining the walls, colored white to match the room’s aesthetic. In the center of the room, a golden table regally rests underneath the wine glasses and platter of cheeses and fruits it carries. Two fern plants perfectly align on either side of the projector screen that’s currently playing some American film, but the real sight is outside. Framed by small, circular windows, you can peek out and see the sun setting over a blanket of fluffy clouds that part like the Red Sea. It’s a sight that Envy has seen before, but this time… it feels different. In a good way.

One of the few things I actually enjoyed about that evening,

she decides as she looks at the sunset again. Or, she tries to. Every time, she tries to look at the sunset, and every time she’s left focused on the feathered reflection of herself. And, every

single

time, Envy is upset until she re-focuses her vision.

When she refocuses her vision to clearly see herself, Envy feels a light swelling in her chest. She knows it’s not right, but she feels so

pretty

in this memory. Her hair, still short, curls in a way that reminds her of the ocean’s waves. Her makeup, done so elegantly, is still in place. And her dress…

Dark green satin wraps itself around her, gently framing her body in a way that makes Envy feel really pretty. The sleeves fall off her shoulders, loosely nestling around her upper biceps. If she moves her leg over to the left a bit, her leg would peek out through the slit that’s cut into the skirt. She’s a little tempted to, because then she’d see the black velvet heels she’d gotten to wear specifically for this occasion. The matching gloves make a noise that

really

bothers her if she scratches a finger against the satin. And, for some godforsaken reason, she keeps doing it.

Despite the dress looking gorgeous, it was uncomfortable. Made of a special kind of stain and liquid-resistant satin, Envy would have to pay the price of comfort for functionality. And yet they didn’t let her wear a suit, which

irrationally

pissed her o—

She cuts that thought short.

And somewhere in there, the shoes scratch against her, too. Against her will, she scoots around to try and relieve the discomfort. Against her will, she scratches the dress again. Against her will, she stays seated.

Envy doesn’t want to be here, and she doesn’t want to be on this plane. What she

actually

wants to do is jump out of the plane without a parachute.

Why? She’s sitting next to the familiar face of Finnegan Banks, who is also dressed to the nines. She can’t remember what he was wearing that night. Just that it was white. For some reason she imagines his outfit as a freshly-pressed suit with a bow tied around his neck every time.

Envy knew everything there was to know about Finn, though all of it was against her will. He was 29 years old, the oldest of the Banks siblings and also the most influential at the time. He was the heir to half of his father’s oil company, whose practices he denounced in public but practiced in private. His public image was so perfectly maintained, though, that he was held as a cultural icon in America. He likes sushi despite being allergic to seafood. He’s always seen with a stack of papers in one hand and a pen in the other. He’s charming. Nice. Generous.

And Envy didn’t want to admit it, but he

terrified

her.

Why? Why had she given him a weak spot to exploit?

Envy curses herself every time she lives through this conversation. She could have done so many things differently. She could have changed what happened. Every time she runs through everything, the same questions rattle through her skull. Was God punishing her for the atrocities she’d committed? What if she hadn’t done what she had been bred and raised to do? What if she, for once in her life, fought back? Maybe she wouldn’t have ever left Italy. Maybe she would have had an actual chance at her own life. Maybe she would have never met him.

And then, maybe, just maybe, he wouldn’t have…

…

No, who is she kidding. If it wasn’t her, it would have been someone else. Envy wasn’t stupid,

“They’re going to find me,” Envy mutters quietly, bunching up a handful of fabric that rests on her legs. It scratches her ears in a disgusting way.

“You’ll be fine,” Finn scoffs. “I’ve dealt with people like your parents before. They’re going to forget about me and move on to someone more powerful.”

Envy can feel her nails digging into the heel of her palm through the bunched-up skirt and her gloves. Impressive, considering how thick her gloves were. “They won’t forget about you. And they

certainly

won’t forget about me.”

“You’re taking this too seriously.” Finn pats Envy on the shoulder. The action, or maybe his dismissal, sends a sharp wave of nausea through her. “They’re never gonna find out, anyway.”

Whenever she hears him say that, she feels this urge to rip his mouth off so he can stop spouting such idiozia. What was he

talking

about?! She knew that rich people could be a little full of themselves, acting like the immortal god they think they are because they had money. But she didn’t know they were cocky

and

stupid. But her parents weren’t exactly the easiest to hide from, especially when you were with someone as well-known as Finn from a country as loud and proud as the States.

Dumbass,

she thinks, then tears the thought apart. This man was

saving

her from the life she’d tried to escape from for so long, and she was repaying him with

disrespect?

Finn takes her hand (already crossing multiple boundaries, but since when did he care?) and kisses it. The simple action sets her nerves on fire, disgust curling in her stomach and horror coursing through her veins. Against her will, her gaze meets his.

For some reason, the detail that sticks out the most is his smirk.

“Besides, my dear.” Ew. Ew.

Ew.

“They’ll probably just let it go when they see how much I can reimburse them for their loss.”

Envy kicks one leg over the other, careful to not show too much skin. Or any skin, preferably. “With any luck, they’ll assume I’m dead.”

“If you worked for me, I’d

never

assume you were dead,” he purrs in what she thinks is supposed to be a flirty tone.

“… Thanks.”

“I like a girl who can hold her own,” he continues, completely unprompted.

“… Thanks,” Envy says again, because really, what can she say other than that?

Finn leans back slightly, sending a wave of temporary relief through Envy. Until he opened his fat mouth again. “You know, I’ve been targeted by many people like you over the years. But you… I suppose you were worth keeping around.”

Envy grits her teeth at the reminder. She knew it was coming.

But it got her.

Every

Single

Time.

That

was

why she was here to begin with, wasn’t it. Everything had gone so horrendously wrong that Finn was still alive and taking her to what she thought would be a better life. A chance to start over. A clean slate. Which is stupid, because her parents are… well, they’re her parents. And she’s certain it wouldn’t be hard to find her.

Or… maybe it would be? She didn’t have a passport, documentations, or any form of identity, really. All she had to identify herself with was what her family had molded her into. All of which she could throw out the window now, since she failed her mission. And

that

automatically made her less efficient. Less useful.

More of a liability.

Envy wouldn’t lie, she’d had a sneaking suspicion that her family wasn’t happy with her recent work. Training had gotten more intense. Her portions had been cut more sharply. More lectures about human anatomy, chemical mixtures, psychological warfare. More reminders of her family’s importance, why she couldn’t fail,

and what would happen if she did.

And this… was definitely considered a failure.

“Is this the place? I think this is the place,” someone says.

… What? The fuck?

Envy had lived through this memory so many times that she had it down beat-for-beat. She could re-enact the whole thing in a one-woman show if she wanted. Which, she didn’t, and frankly she was taking too long to say that she didn’t remember there being a

third

person.

“Yeah, this is it,” a new voice cuts in.

Envy instinctively furrows her brow. Or, at least, she tries to. The rigidness of her memory won’t let her.

Finn continues speaking, leaning closer as if this were a romantic moment and not completely creepy. “You never gave me your name.”

“My name…?” Envy asks, hating the sound of her own voice. “My name… it’s…”

The hesitation in her voice is there for a reason. She’d always been referred to by various nicknames by her parents and sometimes the staff. Many times over the years, she’d taken on different aliases. But she didn’t have a proper name to go by. If she was going to want to get away

and

keep Finn from having any more of an advantage than he already did, she’d have to come up with something fast.

“Invidia,” she says quickly. Maybe it would sound like a real name if she said it in another language.

“Invidia…”

Finn tests the name on his tongue. It sounds so…

torrid

coming out of his mouth. Disgusting. “Such a pretty name. Do you have a last name, Invidia?”

“Tirabassi,” she says without thinking, and she’s starting to wonder if he slipped something in her drink that night. It would explain the weird voices, and why she was acting so nonchalant with the information she was giving him. Though, she could always change her name later.

“Ah, I see. I’ll put that on your official documents.”

… Never mind.

“Official documents?”

“Humans need official documents to prove that they’re… alive, I guess.”

“Ohhh. That’s stupid. She’s right there.”

There they were again!!

Envy

knew

she wasn’t insane. Not that she’s insane now. She’s not insane, she’s not, she’s

not,

and she can’t be the only one hearing them.

“I think it’s also for identification.”

“Why don’t they just check her SOUL?”

She can’t be the only one hearing them, because Finn isn’t looking at her. He’s looking

behind

her, his eyes subtly shifting the slightest bit to the left.

“Humans aren’t familiar with SOULs, Ink.”

“Ohhh. Why?”

“I don’t know, why don’t you ask?”

“Can we do that?”

“I wouldn’t. We’re already risking a lot just by being here.”

”You were the one who suggested it, though??”

”You asked for permission.”

Finn blinks, the action taking far too long. If Envy didn’t know better, she’d have thought he’d had a stroke. But then, a man who is suffering a stroke isn’t completely still, right? Certainly not capable of keeping himself upright the way that he was, or staying as still as he is. Not even his clothes, fabric creasing and crinkling with his body, were moving.

“… I think we broke the memory, Dream.”

“Oh, goddammit.”

Slowly, Finn lifts a hand.

“Oh, never mind. I guess we just disrupted it.”

Envy watches his fingers curl into a fist at a painfully slow speed, his index finger extended. When he speaks, his words don’t match the movement of his mouth.

“Who are they?”

Envy feels something change at the script’s deviation. Finn is completely still again, but she can feel her heart beating. All too suddenly, she’s capable of free movement. She whips her head around to see who the intruders of her mind are, and—

Of course, nobody’s there.

Of course.

Still, this had never happened before. Envy flexes her fingers experimentally, her eyes darting everywhere around the room. The movie has stopped playing, the sky is still outside of the plane—there’s not a single thing in the room that’s moving, aside from her.

Her eyes land on Finn.

She shouldn’t. She

really

shouldn’t, but she can’t stop herself from balling her fist and delivering a swift punch to his jaw. And once that first hit connects, another one follows, and another, and another.

”Pezzo di merda! È tutta colpa tua!”

Envy screams, her voice raw.

“Why?? Why did you do this to me?!”

Her mind is clouded with rage. Almost two decades of being exploited, and the

one time

she thought she had a chance to get out, she was exploited

again.

And you know what? She deserved this. She deserved a chance to beat the hell out of the man who had acted as a savior, only to prove himself just as bad as the people he claimed he was saving her from.

She’s not sure when she stopped punching and kicking and screaming. But she does remember feeling physically exhausted for the first time in a long time. She’s sweating, fists still balled at her side, her eyes trained on the somehow-undamaged memory of Finn. The sight is enough for tears to threaten to spill out.

“Of course,” she mutters to herself.

Never looking away from Finn, Envy picks a different couch than the one she was sitting on before to collapse on. She’d close her eyes, but even blinking feels like a risk. Her nerves are on fire again, and the thought of Finn finding out that she beat him up in her

memory

surfaces. Logically, she knows he won’t, but there’s an unreasonable feeling in her gut that he

will.

She looks in the mirror. Her makeup is smudged. Her hair is undone. Her dress is bunched up so badly she’s not sure she can undo it. The sight is unfamiliar, but at the same time, she recognizes it perfectly. Envy tries to rub her cheek, just to see if the makeup smudges more. It doesn’t. Of course not, this is a memory… dream… thing.

… Could she wake herself up?

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Sans had heard about the multiverse theory from his brother a handful of times. Apparently, both Papyrus and Undyne were of the belief that there were other versions of the world that they lived in, and that was about all Sans would listen to before he would fall victim to a cheap prank that Papyrus had set up hours ago. Sans knew that Papyrus was trying to change the direction of the conversation—a keen sense of observation was required for the Royal Guard, after all—but he let it go every time. Partly out of wanting his younger brother not to feel bad, and partly because he thought the theory was nonsense.

Until now.

It’s a lot to process when you’ve been tossed into a home that isn’t yours. One second, you’re Sans, the future Head of the Royal Guard and calibrating riddles in Sunnedout. The next second, you’re Blue, you’ve just reunited with your brother (who goes by Stretch now??), and you don’t have a place in this world because it’s already been taken by another guy who looks like you if you didn’t try.

Today has been the most insane experience Blue has ever had in his life. First, he meets a human. Then, he meets

another

human. And

then,

he’s meeting his idol, escaping the idol with the humans, breaking into the castle, and essentially committing treason. He’s lucky that the king and queen forgave him, though it feels like they’re being too kind for their own good.

He’s also lucky he got to see the Surface. Even if it was only for a short time, even if it was while he was being escorted back to Mount Ebott with the rest of the monsters, even if the city was flocking with cameras and reporters. The sky looked exactly like he thought it would, and he learned what the sun looked like when it wasn’t printed on the page of an astronomy book.

Blue is currently sitting in a picturesque copy of

his

living room back in Sunnedout. The couch is the same color of green, the same texture, hell, it even sags down in the same place. And that’s not the only thing that looks similar. Down to the sock on the floor, he’d almost think he was back home if not for the copies of him and his brother that were trying too hard to look relaxed. There’s also a dog—’Toby,’ apparently—that’s been whining at the bottom of the stairs for the past few minutes. He’s blocked by a makeshift fence of bones that Papyrus put up.

“i know, bud.” Sans drops to his knees and scratches the Pomeranian. “i want her to be okay, too. but we gotta let her rest n’ recover hp.”

God,

it was weird hearing your voice come out of someone else’s body (

was

it someone else’s body?).

“She Will Be Okay, Though… Right?” Papyrus asks, quietly so as not to wake Envy. He’s awkwardly twiddling his thumbs next to the television.

“yeah,” Sans says, but there’s an underlying uncertainty just below the surface of his tone.

The thought of Envy and Chara having to recover because Blue had gone and forced himself in another situation where he wasn’t needed made the skeleton feel incredibly guilty. If he hadn’t gone and brought Envy to Undyne’s lab during Napstabot’s show, what would have happened?

Well, Stretch would still be in a different universe, and… there was a possibility… that both Chara and Envy wouldn’t have made it.

MAYBE IT’S A NET POSITIVE,

he thinks to himself.

I GOT TO SEE MY BROTHER AGAIN, AND EVERYONE LIVED.

Blue glances over at Stretch for maybe the third time in four minutes, who is lighting up another cigarette. Normally, Blue would have gotten on him for smoking, especially inside the house. It’s gross, it’s unhealthy, and secondhand smoke is a real thing even though they don’t have lungs!

“what?” Stretch asks.

Blue feels the fabric of his gloves crinkle around his phalanges. “I’m Just Glad You’re Okay.”

Stretch pauses, then lights his cigarette. “me, too.”

Blue feels himself falter at that. He probably should have seen this coming. When he reunited with Stretch, he was more serious than he’d ever seen him. No jokes, no pranks, no stupid Groucho mask. Nothing. Maybe now

wasn’t

the best time to start a conversation about today. Processing, and all that.

Blue instead turns his attention to Toby, who is now trying to jump the fence. He whistles, clapping his hands together a few times in an attempt to get the dog’s attention. “Toby! Come Here, Boy.”

It works. The dog snaps his head around at his name, yapping happily and bounding over to Blue. He leaps into the skeleton’s lap, wagging his tail at the attention. Blue scratches Toby between his ears, and he is honestly so cute.

“look at you,” Sans chuckles. “didn’t know you were a dog whisperer.”

“I Suppose I Am, Aren’t I?” Blue agrees, marvelling slightly at how incredible it was for the dog to fit in his hands. “Where Did You Get Him?”

“He Just Showed Up One Day.” Papyrus is glaring at Toby as if he committed a war crime and blamed it on the skeleton. “Ever Since, He Has Been Nothing But A Disturbance.”

Sans’ perma-grin becomes just a bit cheekier. “what? c’mon. he’s adorable.”

“He Keeps Stealing My Special Attacks!!”

Blue can’t stop the annoyance from crossing his expression. “Well, That’s Just Impolite. Is He Not Trained?”

“No, He’s Trained. But

Someone—”

Papyrus glares at Sans, who pretends not to notice. “Taught Him How To Prank Me Across Time And Space.”

“I’m Sure If We Had A Dog, Papyr—” Blue cuts himself off at the near-mistake. “Er, I Mean,

Stretch

Would Have Done That, Too.”

“what, just because

i

think it’s funny to put glue on the doorknob, you think i’d train a

dog

to do it?” Stretch asks, his voice mildly startling Blue but also making him feel a little better. At least he was willing to talk.

“his name is toby,” Sans corrects.

“I Do, Actually.” Blue completely ignores Sans in favor of Stretch. “You Are Surprisingly Efficient When It Comes To Inventing Ways To Ruin My Life.”

“someone’s gotta do it.” Stretch holds his hand up for a fist bump. Sans meets it. Rather than the clacking of bones, a loud

THUD

emanates throughout the house. It sounds like it came from upstairs, from Papyrus’ room… where Envy was staying.

Simultaneously, all four skeletons stiffen.

“MISS ENVY!!” Papyrus literally breaks through the fence of bones to rush up the stairs, and Sans has already shortcut to Papyrus’ bedroom.

Blue hops to his feet and sprints towards the bedroom, hoping everything is okay.

┍━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┑

┕━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┙

The room is spinning as Envy pushes herself up and off the ground. Ugh, her head hurts. She brings a hand up to her forehead, her fingers brushing against her nose on accident. The twang of pain in her nose is less expected.

She can feel something dripping onto her lip. She presses her fingers against her skin, pulling them away to find the tips covered in blood. There’s also a stain on the ground of the same color that now covers her fingers. First she throws up on their floor, now she’s spilled her blood on it?

“MISS ENVY!!”

Envy cringes at the sudden shouting and the sound the door makes as it’s thrown open two seconds later. She’s certain it left a dent in the wall, or at worst, knocked it down somehow.

Papyrus gasps. “OH MY GOD!! YOU’RE BLEEDING!!”

It’s been a long day, and while Envy has no right to feel tired, she does. Being told something she already figured out is mildly annoying, but… why is she mad at Papyrus? He’s just worried about her, right?

And that’s the moment she realizes: she hasn’t been very nice to Papyrus,

or

Sans. She’s been cordial, yes, but

nice?

They’d given her a place to live after knowing her and working for her for a

month.

Then there was the tour of Snowdin, the pig race, Grillby’s, the conversation and banter… it was all a part of her life that hadn’t gone away in the time she’d expected it to. Not to mention that Papyrus had even called her his friend. Multiple times.

And she’s starting to think he might be right.

“ARE YOU OKAY?!” Papyrus asks, his question reminding her that she hadn’t responded to him in any way.

Envy steadily gets up, using the bedside frame as support. “I just fell out of the bed. I’m fine.”

She reaches for the box of tissues on the nightstand and tries to clean up the blood. She also tries not to think too much about the lotion bottle that’s tucked behind the door of the closet, which in her defense is too brightly colored to

not

notice.

“woah, v. you’re bleeding pretty bad.” Sans pops out from behind Papyrus, worry in his tone. Then, just as suddenly, he’s next to her. “are you okay?”

Envy nods. She’s grateful for his interruption, honestly.

“oh, jeez. i’m gonna help you back to bed, okay?” Sans puts his hands up just over her shoulders. “can i…?”

Envy nods, and he puts his hands on her shoulders. Turns her around. Gently guides her back to what she now recognizes as Papyrus’ bed. She sits on the mattress, which is far too soft.

“Thanks.” She’s starting to see more clearly now. It looks like Papyrus is quietly scolding people outside of the room. Arguing with them? For some reason, she doesn’t care who it is or what they’re talking about.

“anytime, v.” There’s a bark in the background, and Sans lets out a soft sigh. “oh, yeah. there’s someone who was really worried about ya.”

Toby leaps over Papyrus’ boot, onto his bed, and into Envy’s lap. She allows her lips to lift slightly, an imitation of a smile, as she scratches Toby between his ears. He seems much more content and reassured.

If Envy had looked up in that brief second, she’d have seen the way Sans was looking at her.

“you okay?” He asks after a few seconds.

It’s impressive how two words can deliver so much confusion to Envy. He’s genuinely concerned, and it’s something she’s not used to. Is she feeling guilty? Is that what the disgusting curl of her gut is? Is that why she can feel her heartbeat in her head? Is it because of guilt? Does it even matter, when she has so much to answer for?

The words are out before she knows she’s saying them. “I’m sorry.”

Sans blanches. “oh. uh… what for?”

“I haven’t been very nice to you. Or Papyrus.” Out of the corner of her eye, she sees him looking in her direction. Her throat feels like it’s closing up. Is she doing this wrong? Probably. “I just… I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.”

“v, you’re fine.” Sans goes to put a reassuring hand on her shoulder, but stops at the last second and retracts it in favor of a shrug. “let’s be fair for a second here. i broke into your dojo, paps tried to do the same.”

“YOU—” Papyrus clears his throat. “I Did Not ‘Try To Break In!’ I Was Attempting To Start My Shift!!”

“by breaking in.”

“Nyeh!! Sans!!”

For some reason, the memory and the argument seems less of an irritation and more… comfortable. Maybe it’s because Sans and Papyrus have been around Envy for longer than most of the people in her life, or something like that.

But her attention snaps away when something blue flashes next to Papyrus. Yes, Envy didn’t care who was outside before, but she does now.

“Who’s outside?” Envy cranes her neck to try and get a better view, ignoring the strain in her muscles.

“Me!” A blue glove attached to a skeletal arm pokes into the room.

“and me.” Another hand leading into an orange sleeve pops into view.

Both articles of clothing are far too familiar to Envy, reminding her of a certain pair of skeletons she'd met in a world far away from here. But it’s probably just a coincidence... until Papyrus steps back and the owners walk into the room. Now there are two Papyruses (Papyri? That sounds right), two Sanses, and no explanation.

Because God forbid, right?