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Gendo Ikari sat in his office, as cold and calculating as always. His eyes scanned through the reports of the latest Angel attack, but his mind wasn’t entirely focused on the matter at hand. He had already anticipated the enemy’s moves—after all, he was Gendo Ikari. Nothing slipped past him. But that day, there was something different. Something... interesting.Ryoji Kaji, the man with a perpetual smirk and questionable habits, entered the office, a strange glint in his eye. He didn’t sit down but instead walked to the desk and placed a handful of DVDs in front of Gendo, his tone playful. “Take a look at these, Gendo-sama . Trust me, you might find them... intriguing.” Gendo didn’t respond right away, his hands clasped in front of him, giving off an air of indifference. He was used to Kaji’s antics. Still, curiosity got the better of him. Kaji had a certain knack for finding unusual things, things that Gendo often found himself unexpectedly fascinated by. “What’s this?” Gendo asked, his voice even and composed. Kaji grinned, enjoying the suspense. “B-Komachi. You’ve probably heard of them. They’re an idol group that’s been taking Japan by storm. It’s, uh, a whole cultural thing. Thought you might need a break from the usual... doom and gloom.” Gendo lifted an eyebrow, his expression never betraying anything. "Idols? I have no time for such frivolous distractions." Kaji only smirked wider. "Come on, Gendo , give it a shot. Maybe it'll make you see the world in a new light." With a dismissive wave, Gendo slid one of the DVDs into his desk player, leaning back in his chair with his signature cool demeanor .
“Fine. What’s the worst that could happen?”
As the screen flickered to life, the iconic opening of B-Komachi’s performance filled the room with an explosion of color and sound. Gendo leaned forward slightly, his interest piqued despite himself. The idols, sparkling and energetic, performed a synchronized dance that was both confusing and oddly captivating. Ai Hoshino, the lead singer, was magnetic, her voice both powerful and sweet, while the backup dancers radiated charm. For a moment, Gendo found himself unmoving, watching with something akin to fascination. What was this? Was it really that... captivating?
*p*
One hour turned into two. Then three. Gendo barely noticed the passage of time, his mind drawn into the spectacle. What was it about this performance that was pulling him in so much?
“ Woooo ! Yeah, baby! That’s what I’ve been waiting for!” Gendo cheered out loud, though no one was around to hear. His fist pumped into the air.
He quickly caught himself, shaking his head. “What... am I doing?”
But the seed had been planted. The idol group B-Komachi, in all their colorful , cheerful glory, had captured Gendo’s attention like nothing else had in years. The stoic, methodical leader of NERV was beginning to crumble under the weight of his newfound obsession.
“I must know more,” Gendo muttered, grabbing the next DVD with a determined look. "There must be more where this came from."
Hours passed. Kaji had already left, unaware of what he had unwittingly unleashed. By morning, Gendo had watched nearly every B-Komachi performance video available.
"What is it about them?" Gendo muttered to himself, his face flushed with confusion and exhilaration. "Why can't I stop watching them?"
*p*
A few days later, NERV’s headquarters was in for a change—one that no one could have predicted.
Gendo’s obsession had reached a fever pitch. He could no longer focus on his leadership duties the same way. Instead, his mind wandered constantly to one thing: B-Komachi .
"Shinji," Gendo called from his office one afternoon, "you need to be ready for something important. I expect no complaints."
Shinji, who had become used to his father’s cold demeanor , was suspicious but didn’t ask. He trudged into his father’s office, where Gendo stood, staring at a holographic display of the latest Angel intel. He didn’t even look up as Shinji entered.
"I need you to wear this," Gendo continued, holding up a flamboyant, glittery jacket— a blindingly-bright purple, with the words “ E -Komachi” emblazoned across the back.
Shinji blinked in disbelief. “Is that... an idol costume?”
“It’s an outfit . You’re going to wear it,” Gendo said, now focused on the image of Ai Hoshino on his screen. "You’ll look... appropriate."
Shinji’s mouth went dry. “You can’t be serious...”
“I’m very serious,” Gendo replied flatly. "We need to represent the idol group correctly. A proper idol group presentation is essential for boosting morale. And... I’m reconfiguring the EVA units for this purpose as well."
Shinji was at a loss for words. “The EVAs? You’re turning them into idols ?”
“That’s right,” Gendo said, still not looking away from the screen. "They’ll be perfect for the next mission."
“Isn’t is B- Komachi?” the sceptical son asks one last time.
“Well yes, but actually no.”, the NERV commander proclaims with confident energy. “Have I ever told you about a little something called ‘copyright law’? … ’’
*p*
The pilots’ protests were ignored as NERV engineers scrambled to fit the EVAs with the necessary modifications. They installed colorful , flashing lights along the limbs, reworked the armor to resemble flashy idol uniforms, and outfitted the cockpit with neon light displays.
Asuka stormed into the briefing room, her usual fiery attitude turned up to an unprecedented level. “What the hell is going on here, Gendo ? Why am I wearing this ridiculous thing?”
She held up her new outfit: a bright red jacket, adorned with sequins and an embarrassingly oversized bow. Gendo had gone all-in on the idol aesthetic. Asuka didn’t have time for this nonsense, but she also didn’t have a choice.
“This is nonsense , Gendo ,” Asuka huffed, folding her arms across her chest.
“Enough,” Gendo said coldly. “I need you to understand the importance of this mission. The Angels won’t stand a chance against our new approach. You’ll all be performing on the frontlines.”
Shinji, now dressed in his own idol gear, still looked disheveled . "Is this... really necessary?"
"Yes. B-Komachi demands perfection,” Gendo replied, as though that was the only justification needed.
Rei, of course, had no opinion. She stood silently, her new blue outfit a perfect mirror of her usual detached expression.
And so, the EVA pilots—dressed in glittering, idol-themed outfits—prepared for their next mission.
*p*
The Angel they were facing was no match for the overwhelming force of E-Komachi’s influence. The EVAs charged into battle, their new outfits gleaming under the bright lights of the Tokyo-3 battlefield. But instead of focusing on the Angel, the pilots found themselves... distracted.
Shinji awkwardly twirled his lightstick in the cockpit, unsure whether he was supposed to fight or dance. The large EVA mimicked it, as a cover of “STAR☆T☆RAIN” blared out from speakers in its mouth, a feat echoed by Units 00 and 02 as well. The one Asuka, fuming with anger, tried to maintain some dignity, but it was hard to when she was performing synchronized dance moves instead of attacking the Angel.
“ This is a battle?” Asuka yelled, flinging her arms up in frustration.
Meanwhile, Gendo was on the ground, proudly waving his own lightstick in the air. “That’s right! Keep the rhythm going! We’re performing, not fighting! Keep up the energy!”
The battle quickly devolved into a bizarre dance-off between the EVA units and the Angel, with Gendo in the command center acting as the overly enthusiastic dance coach. Shinji, Asuka , and Rei struggled to focus on their enemy, but the music kept pulling them in.
*p*
Meanwhile, in space, Kaworu Nagisa was watching the events unfold through a telescope. He was initially perplexed by the absurdity of the situation, but then he shrugged, deciding that some things were beyond even his understanding.
“That’s it. I’m out,” Kaworu said aloud, tossing aside the telescope. “This isn’t my fight. But hey, if they’re doing an idol performance...”
Pulling out his own lightsticks from god knows where, Kaworu began performing a series of exaggerated idol dance movements, his grace somehow enhanced by the lack of gravity. His movements were elegant, but he was thoroughly enjoying himself, oblivious to the sweatdrops of the Rei clone watching him from another distant crater, shaking her head.
From the Lunar base, a Rei clone watched with a sweatdropping face, shaking her head.
"He... really is something else ." She spoke without any noise.
*p*
The aftermath of the disastrous mission was far from what anyone had expected. Gendo , however, didn’t seem to care about the damage the EVAs had sustained, the Angel that had escaped, or the chaos it had caused. He was far too absorbed in the B-Komachi world to notice anything else.
Shinji, Asuka , and Rei returned to the NERV headquarters, begrudgingly still in their idol outfits. Asuka , who usually held her pride high, now looked utterly mortified. She had the air of a child who had just been forced to wear an embarrassing costume at a family gathering.
“I honestly can’t believe you made me wear this shit,” Asuka muttered, tugging at her sparkling, sequined jacket that covered her crimson plugsuit.
Rei, as usual, remained stoic, although the uncomfortable neon lights flashing in her cockpit had given her a dull headache. “It is... distracting.”
Shinji, too, felt the weight of the ridiculousness pressing down on him. His face had flushed red under the stage lights of his EVA, and his mind was filled with confusion and horror. He barely managed to put one foot in front of the other as they all made their way back to NERV HQ.
Upon entering the command center , they were immediately greeted by Gendo’s enthusiastic voice echoing across the room. He stood behind the central desk, still clutching his lightstick , a wide, delirious grin on his face. His once-cold demeanor was completely gone, replaced by something far more disturbing: idol fever .
“Welcome back, my brilliant idols!” Gendo exclaimed, raising his lightstick like a conductor. “You’ve done the E-Komachi name proud!”
Shinji froze, wide-eyed. “Dad, what... what is this? Are we supposed to—be idols now? What happened to fighting Angels?”
“Forget the Angels,” Gendo said with a deep, satisfied sigh. “They’re nothing compared to the power of E-Komachi! Look at you all! You were perfect ! We’ll be world-famous!”
Asuka folded her arms, glaring at him. “I swear, you’ve fucking lost your marbles. We’re not becoming some shitty... idol group !”
“Oh, but we already are ,” Gendo said smugly. “You just don’t see it yet. The fans will love you. We’ll have a whole global empire of idols. No more worrying about Angel attacks. You’ll perform, and NERV will become the greatest entertainment company on Earth!”
Shinji stared at his father. “But we’re supposed to save the world from those Angels! What happened to our mission?”
Gendo ignored him, brushing his son off like an insignificant detail. “That can wait. What matters now is stage presence. I’ve been going over the choreography, and we’ll need to work on your moves for next time. Perfection is key.”
“Choreography...?” Asuka groaned. “This is insane. I’m not doing this.”
“Oh, you will,” Gendo said with unwavering certainty. “And Rei, you’ll be the perfect mysterious idol. We need a reserved, enigmatic figure.”
Rei gave a minimal nod, though the flashing lights of the idols' costumes and the strange atmosphere had already dulled her usual impassivity. “Understood.”
The next few days were an odd blur of rehearsal and transformation. Gendo had already begun turning NERV into a makeshift idol studio. The once sterile, military base-like environment was now adorned with colorful banners, neon lights, and a giant stage, much to the confusion of the staff.
Fuyutsuki , NERV’s second-in-command, stood in the middle of the command center , staring in disbelief at the setup. “ Gendo , what in the hell are you doing? This is NERV , not an entertainment agency!”
Gendo grinned, his eyes glinting with excitement. “You just don’t understand the importance of this, Fuyutsuki . You’ll see. We are on the brink of greatness. We’ll make history!”
“By doing what?” Fuyutsuki asked, his voice heavy with sarcasm. “Saving the world through a dance routine ?”
“Exactly,” Gendo replied, as if it was the most logical thing in the world.
*p*
Their first sanctioned public idol performance took place on a sunny afternoon in Tokyo-3, as the entire city watched from their homes via live broadcast or below on the streets, filming the spectacle. The moment had arrived, and Gendo was dressed to impress—his own version of an idol outfit, complete with sparkly epaulettes and a lightstick .
The EVA pilots were forced into their bright, colourful costumes once again, ready to take the stage. Shinji’s head hung low as he stood at the side, still trying to process how this had all happened. Asuka was seething, her arms crossed tightly as she glared at Gendo from the corner of the stage.
“This is fucking ridiculous ,” she muttered.
Rei, however, was oddly composed, despite her discomfort. “I am ready,” she said in her usual monotone voice, though her stiff body language betrayed her true feelings.
The moment the music began, everything felt... wrong. The orchestrated idol performance filled the air with infectious energy. Asuka was too embarrassed to follow the choreography, but Gendo , from his position behind the curtain, screamed into a microphone.
“ Dance, my idols! ” he yelled, pumping his fist in the air.
Shinji stood frozen, unsure of whether he should move or if the world had simply lost all meaning. He glanced at his father, whose face was alight with glee, as he waved his own lightstick and hummed along to the song.
The performance was a trainwreck .
Shinji accidentally knocked over a microphone stand mid-dance, Asuka stomped across the stage in frustration, and Rei... Rei just stood there, her eyes empty, moving only when absolutely necessary.
But Gendo was undeterred, his face glowing with joy. “ Perfect! Absolutely perfect! ”
*p*
Meanwhile, still on the Moon, Kaworu Nagisa was having his own idol performance . He had managed to track down the numerous Rei clones (prior abandoned on the moon) and had convinced them all to join him, so now he could give the best performance ever, with a Giant Naked Flashmob moving in sync around him.
However, a nearby satellite, capturing live footage for the discovery channel, started transmitting the spectacle as it passed overhead.
From various points below , people watched the televisions in anticipation, at the cosmic sensation above them. He truly had become a hit, and within in a week, had swept the Grammy awards in the entirety, for his revolutionary “no sound performance.”
The best part? He never even knew and spend the rest of his seemingly-eternal existence with his group dancing for the masses below, the brightest star in the sky, localised entirely on their moon , all of them becoming a progenitor for a unique species which would bring about universal peace.
*p*
Back with the earthbound eldritch-fighting song group, the true final performance occurred one year later, in the ruins of Tokyo-3, where Gendo , in a burst of reckless abandon, decided to reenact the entire B-Komachi choreography as an epic solo. He had grown so obsessed with his idol transformation that he didn’t care about the consequences of the unstable terrain beneath him , or the sole mecha awkwardly moving in tandem to the music above him. Asuka had quit in protest, and was last seen leading an individual assault on Fort Knox halfway acroos the world, while Rei had collapsed into a comatose state due to her bold ‘2 Weeks, Non-Stop Solo’ performance forcibly inflicted upon her by Gendo , from which she still need to wake.
“ This is it, ” Gendo announced dramatically in falsetto , raising his lightstick high as he performed a perfectly synchronized dance move. “ I am the greatest idol! ”
Shinji, just as he had done many times before, stepped forward—this time, however, the ground beneath him was unstable. Unit-01’s foot came down directly on his father’s torso .
CRUNCH
Gendo yelped in pain as he stumbled deeper to the ground, his idol outfit flailing in the air like a broken puppet.
“Oops...” Shinji muttered, looking down at the writhing man beneath him.
Gendo’s hand raised weakly despite his crippling injury , his lightstick falling from his grasp. “Shinji... do you... know what you’ve... done?”
But it was too late. Gendo, having spent his last ounce of energy in his idol escapade, finally collapsed. His demise came not from a fatal wound, nor from a powerful Angel attack, but from the sheer absurdity of the situation, by not only his own creation, but his son’s han- no, foot. Gendo trulyhad gone too far into his obsession.
Shinji, gazing down at his father’s crumpled body, only stared in confusion. “What... just happened?”
With a dramatic sigh and scream as the realisation hit him , Shinji sat down in his iconic chair pose, hands gripping his face. The weight of his actions—and the bizarre chain of events that led to his father’s death—was simply too much for him to bear.
"Why... why do I keep getting dragged into this?" he muttered, his voice muffled by his hands.
The world around him—once a place of destiny and hope—now seemed like a bizarre, dreamlike parody of itself.
The End ?
OMAKE: Meanwhile in a Parallel Universe… A New Idol Empire Emerges!
Though Tokyo-3 lay in ruins and the mission had failed, Gendo was more resolved than ever. He had found his true calling—not as a leader of NERV, but as an idol fan.
“I am the ultimate fan and the god of idols ,” he said proudly, waving his lightstick high.
Shinji , the last remaining member, sighed. “Sure, Dad. Sure.”
And so, the bizarre saga of Gendo Ikari’s idol obsession continued, with E-Komachi’s influence taking over NERV, the EVAs, and even the most serious aspects of their lives.
The world might have been crumbling , heck , even ruined beyond repair, but at least they still had “ good music” to dance to. 🤷♂️