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201M2024 June 8thLife is full of wonders, miracles and what not. All of them being a cause of changes found in casualty, that shift the natural laws, and expectations of the world. What I'm trying to say is life is full of bullshit...how would I know that...because the previous statement was a pile of bullshit...and you have to dig your way out of the bullshit, to find your gold.Me? I haven't found that, I think I was close once. Had a nice goth Ptero girl; But it didn't last. Everything feels like a blur - but I know one thing, everything that happens, happens for a reason...and that reason is my Stupidity.For example - one minute, you're getting drunk with your girl at the beach, but something happens (which was totally my fault),and your relationship ends. And the next thing you know, you're in boat,trying your best to patch up a hole, as one of your friends drowns right next to you....A sequence of events derived by my own self, thanks to my brain...as some would put it; " it's unburdened by genius."But now I’m here, drinking and drowning the remains of my sorrow’s, and envy towards everyone, before I say goodbye to this fucking world.I, Anon.Y.Mous have decided that today is the day I die. it’s simple really, I’m just tired of it…tired of everything really.My time in the Army has proven to be more harmful than good. Sure I met people, made a few friends, and tried my best to be a part of society. Tried my damndest to prove I had worth, that I had something to give, something that would validate my existence.But that proved to be useless, all thanks to a nasty fall, and pieces of pipes being logged into my face. You’d think a person would die instantaneously if shrapnel would fly into their face at high speeds…but surprisingly enough, I lived, but at what cost really??I ended up disfigured, my face littered with pink scars, and part of my right cheek was torn, leaving my teeth exposed to the world to see. I already felt dead, now I just look the part. Honestly, I wasn't too worried at first. with the way identity politics are, I thought I could get hired as some token skinne for some run of the mill job.I thought I would be fine.God was I wrong… I was so wrong…Heh, it’s almost laughable really, why would anyone want to hire a disfigured skinne? It’s fucking pathetic, another type of pathetic…that only I could achieve.The water itself looked calm, almost calling towards me…what a sweet sight really. It’s almost funny, the moment I hit the water, it’ll feel like I’ve smashed against concrete…almost like a bug, a roach, a disgusting pest who’s insignificant.I take another swig of whatever I have in my hands, things, everything is starting to get blurry, wavy, and swirly. No…not yet, I need more…I gotta get everything out of my system right?...right?“Trish was right about you!”you’re still in my head…you bothersome bitch.Hmph, I remember well what I saw 3 months ago, and honestly I think it’s deserved. Everything that happened, happens for a reason right? Me about to end it all, and you…you who had a dream, a talent, a goal…you ruined yourself…it’s almost laughable.Was it my fault? Did my words hurt you? Scared you? Damage you? Did they really? To the point you took this rotten path in life, and followed me down into the trash, and filth. It has to be a joke? A really bad one…please be a fucking joke…please lord, let it be a joke….But still, what a waste…Fang, you’ve truly done and fucked it all up. I was supposed to be the one that died with the excrement, you were supposed to be remembered, bathed in gold, and be praised by the stars…yet, you're not…hopefully you can pick the pieces, hopefully…make something of yourself, don’t you dare end up like me.I go to take another swig, but the bottle of my alcoholic concoction is now empty…now nothing can keep from it…the warm embrace of raptor Jesus, I’m ready lord…please do forgive me for squashing the gift you’d have given me…hopefully I can be forgiven.I climb atop the rail, my feet finding it hard to balance…be it due to how thin it was, or because I was so abbreviated, either way it was gonna get the job done.All these regrets, all this hatred…all of it has been corroding my being for such a long time…all of it leaves with me…cause I know if even a small bit of me remains, it will just ruin something else…I take one final look at the view before me, the sky, water and bluffs all muted. Just gray, and monochromatic, like one of them scenes from some “artsy” film. where the protagonist is some deranged homosexual, or what ever those film pansy’s think has “meaning”.….At least I tried right? To make this life worth livi-“What are you doing there sonny??.”The sudden voice spooked me, and like in one of them cartoons, I lost my footing…and slipped. Seconds, minutes, hours, years, all of which pass through my very eyes. Experiences forgotten, decayed memories, and numbed feelings all emerging all at once. Non-stop colours, and then the great dark…. -*-201M2026 June 8ththis raptor fucker is trying to pull out of my hold. I squeeze my thighs harder, creating more pressure on his windpipe. he looks like he’s about to burst. His claws, although cut, and withered down, tear my skin. I wince at the feeling...Shouldn't this count as a foul?. I look at the ref, a triceratops with long dreads, he motions me to continue...I forgot…this is mainly a dino championship, so clawing would make sense...Sometimes the world is very cruel.I begin to tighten up my legs more, and try to keep him steady, trapped into the hold, with his hand inside the triangle choke being held down by me, cause joint discomfort through the angle, this would be it. All most there…he just needs to tap.He tries to make some space by pushing my ass forwards with his right leg, trying to somehow stand up. While simultaneously prying my leg of his Esophagus, by placing his hand on my thigh and pushing...Bjj is so gay, but so useful.I slip, enough that he could make some space for himself, and place other arm in between my legs, being spared. Although he isn’t able to get out of my hold. With this I pull him closer and started going hay wire and began to throw a variety of strikes to my Opponent's face.Straight punch, right hook, uppercut.Straight punch, right hook, uppercut.Uppercut, Uppercut, right hook.Straight punch, straight punch, left hook.He goes on defense, trying to stop the barrage of punches from landing on him. I feel something wet hit my abbs, the rusty metallic smell hits my nose, blood. Its gushing out of him, his snoot was busted, and pouring like a faucet.'Once they see their blood, you already won half the fight.' - Hit and run a pregnant lady guy.With the sudden stagger, I’mn able to tighten my hold, and start going for a guillotine. Swiftly my legs interlock with on his abdomen (no homo), and my arms are around his neck… He begins to panic, and starts to thrash around. Trying his best to pick me up…Hm?"Oh Fuck of-"*BAM*He slams me down onto the octagon. My head aches, Everything goes bright, and we're suddenly surrounded by water? Water, dark blue. The crowd is gone, and we're sinking to the bottom with nothing stopping us...Oh, I see...It's brain damage.BAMI come back to reality, everything is blurry, and my body is screaming from the impact. But I know one thing, he's in front of me. As He's about to go down for his third Power slam, I lounge forward.PAPThe sound is loud, and wet. My elbow, fucking his face. Blood gushing from the new gash on his temple. He loses his balance, and falls backwards. I perform a combat roll, and rush back to him. I get on top of him, and start throwing hammerfist all over his face. Repeatedly.WHAMWHAMWHAMWHAMWHAMWHAMWHAMWHAMWHAMWHAMWHAMWHAM The ref prys me off, and the crowd is in an uproar. I landed backwards onto the Arena, feeling the cold material where my blood, and the blood of many others, had painted it. I pant, as the adrenaline leaves my body, and fatigue settles in, like an orphan who's just been adopted. I can barely move, my eye's look up, and stare at the flood light's. their shine doesn't hurt as much, I'm able to hear some of the crowd and what they're saying."Vamos a la playa-.""Chrome dome hit it home""MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY!""...what happened.""Mommy, is daddy going to be okay?.""WHY GOD! WHY!!"Heh...I try to get up, but my back aches with pain. ‘Raptor jesus please give me strength.’I prayed. getting up ever so slowly, I look across the arena to see my opponent still on the floor. He was still out, and his wife was crying his name at the side of the octagon with their kid on tow…Hm serves him right.Remember well, dude was on a shit talking tyraid calling me 'Cave Dweller', 'FireCracker', 'Spear Chucker', 'Vine Swinger', and more. Stupid scavenger was all big head because he was ranked 13th...saying how ‘he would never lose to some unranked schmuck much less a leather wrapper’ Oh well…your ranking is now mine. The announcer enters the ring, a red T-rex, wearing a gray suit, with a cowlick. He comes to my side."Winner by knockout, Anon "Dead man" Mouse!."The crowd goes nuts...I hate that nickname...just call me ugly at this point. I can't really blame them though, the nickname kinda stuck around after my second fight. Although using my most prominent facial feature makes me feel like a circus freak...There's nothing I can do about it, since my job serves the same purpose, to entertain the masses. The Announcer turns the mic to me, insinuating to say something. Probably wants me to say something as, or if not more derogatory to get the crowed going…but he’s kids watching…FUCK THEM KIDS."...Stupid Scave-”
*-*-*I've arrived at my little, digny, one room apartment, and have been lying on my bed ever since...I look at my phone, it's 12:30. I'm sore, very hurt, have a pounding headache...you know, pretty normal for my line of work. Chronic pain is inevitable with how much strain and use I put in my body. Combine that with the damage accumulated and I will have CTE by the age of 45…to the point I can go maniac and commit a shoot out…what a life to live….I'm having a hard time sleeping…the pain won't go away… and my brain can’t stop thinking about useless shit…. So there's one thing left to do...'Practice wizardry'. I sit up Slowly, trying to not cause myself anymore discomfort; which I failed to do so...I hate my life. I limp slowly, since just standing feels like a lot. I get to my desk, and boot up my PC.-ORPHANS Namida Ai Wa Kanashimi-As I'm about to put in the pin, [Tears Of Orphans] is heard across the apartment; My phone is ringing...and that very phone is on my bed...I'm just going to ignore it,probably Frank being drunk out of his mind…no, can’t be Frank, he’s a working man, dude will Disturbance aside, I continue with my degeneracy. put in the pin, get on incognito, and get on ReXXXVideos. Now here comes the hard part, what to watch. I sat there for a while, pondering on all the stimuli I could use to practice the 'Dark Arts'.-ORPHANS Namida Ai Wa Kanashimi-my phone rings again, okay, definitely not Frank, he doesn't bother to call a second time.I look towards my bed, phone sitting right on the edge...'Unknown number.'Probably some stinking Rajasaur is trying to scam me.“SAAR YOU CAN NOT REDEEM SAAR.”HehBut I continue to ignore it, and continue my adventure, my search for 'Forbidden knowledge.' I find myself the perfect candidate to my desires, the dark material for my night. 'Hungry Young Stego Wife Came After Work, And Pounces On Human Dick.'...Perfect. I get ready to feast on the unholy product, a scenery unfit for the PG rating...Raptor Jesus forgive me for what I'm about to do. I unz--ORPHANS Namida Ai Wa Kanashimi-SHIK"OW!...Fucking hell, fine!"Irritation overflows me, as I make sure lil'non is fine. I almost lost it all after that…fuck.I make my way to my phone. I don't even try to limp this time, all in hopes to get this done quickly, so I can go back to my 'learning'. I take the phone, and breathe in, and out, calming myself down a bit...sure, it may be annoying to get spammed at this hour, at least have some manners Anon."Hello, this is Mous speaking?""...""Hello, anyone there?""...""Hello?""...Hey Anon""Naomi?"