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PepsiClan Exiled and Happy. PepsiClan is the equivalent of this universe's RiverClan - except gay. Well, they are at least during the first quarter of the arc. Led by co-founders Greyhairs, Oldmate, Palmface and Moonpaw. After being exiled from OreoClan for their forbidden relationship, Oldmate and Greyhairs moved to the South of the Valley to call a little cave next to a pond their home. Palmface decided to go with them seeing as Oldmate was his brother, and Moonpaw came along for the ride because he didn't have anyone else to hang out with. PepsiClan camp is located next to a river, lots of reeds and ferns grow here and they thrive mostly off of Pepsi cans - especially the Pepsi Max ones with no sugar. They often force their Apprentices to go hunting for these cans while the elders just sunbathe and enjoy the freedom of life. LEADER:Name: GraystarAge: 47 MoonsCanon Appearance: A grey, long-haired, fuzzy tom with bright, amber eyes.Personality: Snarky, a stuck-up jerk who only cares about himself and his partner, isn't all that bright. MEWS Description: A gay tom. DEPUTY: Name: PalmfaceAge: 45 MoonsCanon Appearance: A blue-grey tabby tom who looks similar to his brother, Oldmate. Has a cream muzzle and underbelly with a long, skinny tail and bored, blue eyes.Personality: Palmface is the calm and level-headed member of the group. He's often the most bored or tired cat of the clan as he often has to deal with breaking up fights or reminding everyone that there's bigger, very real things to worry about.MEWS Description: So done with everyone. MEDICINE CAT:Name: OldmateAge: 45 MoonsCanon Appearance: A light grey tabby tom with a white underbelly and muzzle. Has a long, skinny, striped tail and blue eyes.Personality: Like his brother, Oldmate is often tired of everyone's antics and as the current sole medicine cat he has to put up with patching everyone whenever they've done something stupid. Despite this, Oldmate is constantly self-conscious and worried due to being exiled over his relationship with Graystar. MEWS Description: Go see him when you step on a thorn. WARRIORS: (Folks without any other responsibilities)Name: MoonfurAge: 13 MoonsCanon Appearance: A fluffy, white tom with pale silver stripes. His eyes may or may not be deep blue or bright yellow at any given time. Personality: This cat always has a bad attitude. He can't tell what eye colour he wants and after transitioning, he can't decide what clan he wants to be in. Good thing that the gays aren't kicking him out any time soon. Moonfur is known for being grouchy and impatient, however, he can be known for being quite protective over those he thinks he likes. MEWS Description: Confused white boy. KITS: (We just don't have any queens or elders tbh)Name: DovekitAge: 2 MoonsCanon Appearance: A grey she-kit with a white chest, front left black paw and back right white paw. Also has green eyes. Personality: Dovekit is the sunshine of the clan. She rarely holds a grudge, is quite naive and forgives almost immediately. MEWS Description: Like Dovewing but better. Name: JaykitAge: 2 MoonsCanon Appearance: A sleek-furred, blue-grey tabby she-kit with a long, skinny tail and blue eyes.Personality: Total opposite of her sister, Dovekit. Jaykit will never forget and almost always hold a grudge. She hates everyone but is just as stupid. MEWS Description: Jayfeather but if he was a girl instead and actually had eyes. CheetosClan Trash and Bros.Known only as the 'orange' clan, CheetosClan started off with more members than PepsiClan, however, it was still a far cry from their origins. Founding members of this clan are; Orangepelt, Mangopaw, Foxpaw, Flowerpaw, Dogtail, Finchfur and Puppetmaster. Eventually, Hellfire came to join too after leaving CokeClan and he brought Babayaga with him - a useful, old she-cat. These cats may be children at heart but their loyalty is beyond comprehension. The bros stick together through thick and thin and never leave anyone behind - its anything for the homies. For the girls of the clan, they sit around and do nothing all day. Their camp is located at the edge of a gorge that's filled with rubbish. Though it may stink, Orangepelt insists that this area can be quite useful to them and sooner or later, they're going to be living in luxury once he finds enough materials to build countless mansions out of. To the North, they border CokeClan. LEADER:Name: PuppetstarAge: 98 MoonsCanon Appearance: A fluffy, dark brown tabby tom with golden stripes and fiery, amber eyes. Has massive paws and retired, muscles with a golden muzzle and silver, crooked whiskers.Personality: Is he even still alive? Puppetstar is barely noticeable in the background because he's sleeping all the time.MEWS Description: We shoehorned him in at the last second because we didn't want Orangepelt as our leader. DEPUTY:Name: OrangepeltAge: 27 MoonsCanon Appearance: A short, spiky-furred, orange-coloured tom with dark green eyes.Personality: Others might find him cunning or deceiving, but in reality, Orangepelt is just trying his best for his clan. He wants what's rightfully his and he'll almost stop at nothing to get it. However, as one of the bros, he's one of the most loyal cats you'll ever meet - even if he's depressed and socially awkward at times. He means well but everyone hates him because he's orange. MEWS Description: He made himself deputy. MEDICINE CAT:They don't need oneWARRIORS:Name: HellfireAge: 28 MoonsCanon Appearance: A huge, fluffy, dark brown tabby tom with back stripes and a black chest. He has four, white paws and a white tail tip with fiery, amber eyes. His nose is a black circle and has black triangles on his cheeks under his eyes. His paws are massive.Personality: Hellfire is a total sweetheart. He can forgive quite easily, though he's often considered stern or 'too serious' for some cats. He's the rock that Orangepelt and the clan need. Hellfire can also be quite the formidable opponent on the battlefield as well, and even though he tries to help Orangepelt with ingenious ideas, they usually almost never work out well in the end. MEWS Description: Has the best name here.Name: DogtailAge: ??? MoonsCanon Appearance: A small (still towers over the cats), straight-haired, brown dog with floppy ears and a large, loud snout with a black nose and dark brown eyes.Personality: He's one of the bros, even if they don't always understand him at times. He was raised alongside Hellfire and Orangepelt so they're pretty tight. Despite him being a dog, everyone in CheetosClan treats Dogtail as if he were a normal clan-mate, that barks... Sometimes he speaks though it's not very often.MEWS Description: He might actually be a dog.Name: FlowerfurAge: 15 MoonsCanon Appearance: A pretty, orange tabby she-cat with clear, blue eyes. Her stripes look like flowers on her fur. She also has dark red ear tuffs and long, spindly legs with a fluffy, darker tail.Personality: Flowerfur takes after her mother, Finchfur, quite a lot. She's obsessed with toms, especially older ones and when your clan is filled with nothing but relatives that leaves very few options. She's kind-hearted, though not smart but bright when she smiles. She's hopeful, even if she lives in a literal dump.MEWS Description: Likes her uncles just a little too much.Name: FoxearsAge: 15 MoonsCanon Appearance: He's often mistaken for a fox on numerous accounts because he looks just like one. He has tall, black ears adorned with cute, little ear tufts and a white muzzle and underbelly, his face is orange, no surprise there. All four of his paws and legs are black and he's quite sleek-furred with bright, amber eyes. Personality: Foxears is the reason the Law exists. If his boredom gets the better of him, chaos ensues. He's the worst role model imaginable and an even worse friend. Despite this, he'll still tag along with the homies for a wild ride out on the town. He's cunning and clever and only executes a plan for his amusement. I don't think he can grasp the notion of 'loyalty'.MEWS Description: He might actually be part fox.Name: MangopeelAge: 15 MoonsCanon Appearance: A pale orange tabby tom with darker stripes, has heart-shaped pink ear tufts and a fuzzy, darker-coloured tail.Personality: Despite getting neglected quite a lot, Mangopeel is very optimistic and prefers to keep an open mind. He tries not to let the bad things get him down and will support anyone he considers his family.MEWS Description: Omg, he's orange... Like the rest of them. QUEENS:Name: FinchfurAge: 27 MoonsCanon Appearance: She's an orange tabby queen with darker stripes that appear like feathers on her pelt. She has a long, skinny tail and short fur. She has dark ginger ear tufts and a darker-coloured chest.Personality: Finchfur is pessimistic and a quitter in comparison to her brother. Ever since Canarystar's death and the shatter of OreoClan, she's given up hope. She still loves her clan and her family though she can't seem to find any other purpose other than to tell the newborn kits that the world is cruel and it's going to shatter their hopes and dreams.Kits: ApricotkitMEWS Description: Mother of the year. KITS:Name: HawkkitAge: 2 MoonsCanon Appearance: A strong, brown tabby tom with forest-green eyes and a long, skinny and fluffy tail. His stripes are a darker colour though he appears to have white markings on his face and paws. A lighter brown-coloured chest as well.Personality: There's nothing Hawkkit can't do. He's optimistic and quite persistent. He absolutely cannot wait to get out there and start fighting for his clan, though he often finds himself getting dragged along with the Boys for a ride here and there much to his utter confusion and dismay.MEWS Description: Hawkfrost but on a lighter setting.Name: OwlkitAge: 2 MoonsCanon Appearance: Dark brown tabby with darker stripes and a lighter fur colour. Has round, soft ears and softer fur with maroon colours and white front paws. Has kind, gentle amber eyes and their face looks like an owl's.Personality: Owlkit is the one who always seems to take it easy. They're just as optimistic as their brother, Hawkkit, though apparently more intelligent. Owlkit is already out there every morning helping Orangepelt construct dens made of metal and they're absolutely fascinated by Babayaga much to the old she-cat's annoyance.MEWS Description: We had to look up what 'agender' was.Name: ApricotkitAge: 2 MoonsCanon Appearance: A pale orange she-kit with darker markings and ear tufts.Personality: Apricotkit is the embodiment of anxiety. She won't leave the den unless Hawkkit is accompanying her. I guess all those horrible things Finchfur told her about the world are starting to pay off.MEWS Description: Get this - she's pale orange! :D ELDERS:Name: BabayagaAge: 92 MoonsCanon Appearance: A dark grey-green, fuzzy-furred she-cat with yellow, cracked teeth and small, beady yellow-green eyes. Is often seen wearing a necklace of garlic or a witch's hat for the occasion. She smells absolutely rotten.Personality: There are a lot of things that Babayaga was in her life but being pleasant was not one of them. She stinks, both literally and metaphorically. She's a cunning and wise old cat who knows just the right trick to get others to do what she wants or whatever it is that Orangepelt may need. She's also very disappointed in a lot of her former clan-mates.MEWS Description: A disgruntled ex-employee of CokeClan.CokeClan Fitness and Pop Culture.There are a couple of things this clan prides itself on but being smart just isn't one of them. They're quite the active group, often going around and gladly bullying whoever it may be that's unfortunate enough not to be a part of Trackstar's clique. They pride themselves on being swift and strong, they're also the biggest clan split from the original members. Their founders are; Trackrunner, Rockon, Rockhard, Rollout, Heavymetal, Fuzzball, and Minepaw. They live on the side of a mountain and often inhabit former goblin hideouts as their home. They thrive off of Coke Colas and have a strong tradition of naming their kits after pop culture references. LEADER:Name: TrackstarAge: 38 MoonsCanon Appearance: A tall, muscular black and white she-cat with a long, skinny tail and forest-green eyes. She has an Adidas nose and a Nike symbol above it. Her fur is short and sleek. Personality: Trackstar is known for being quite bossy, however, that's only to those outsiders who are beneath her. She's actually quite good-natured, approachable and a friendly leader who's obsessed with keeping up with all the latest trends. She loves sports, but will always choose Coke-Cola over her passion. She admires pop culture and names her kits after anything trendy. She's quite full of herself though is a brave and hard-working leader who seeks to keep her Clan at the top.MEWS Description: She's a runner, she’s a Trackstar DEPUTY:Name: RockonAge: 34 MoonsCanon Appearance: A pale brown tom with darker flecks and pretty, blue eyes. Has fluffy but short fur and a soft tail.Personality: Rockon is the nicer sibling of his brothers, perhaps that's why Trackstar chose him as her first choice for Deputy. He's quiet and good-natured, always ready to hear another cat out before he jumps to conclusions and tries his best to always be there for his clan.Responsibility: BoypawMEWS Description: Went to a Skillet Concert once and came home crying... MEDICINE CAT:They quit WARRIORS:Name: RockhardAge: 34 MoonsCanon Appearance: A dark brown tabby tom with short, fluffy fur and amber eyes.Personality: Rockhard is the outlier amongst his brethren, he's short-tempered, mean, rude, and doesn't seem to care what anyone else thinks. He's obsessed with looking good and making sure that everyone knows that Trackstar is his mate. Seriously, how did she fall for this guy? His insecurities are worse than Orangepelt!Responsibility: BlowpawMEWS Description: Feel his abs.Name: FuzzballAge: 47 MoonsCanon Appearance: A white, fuzzy-furred, large cat with stunning, bright and brilliant amber eyes. Has large paws and a massive, fluffy tail with white whiskers.Personality: Despite their fuzzy and soft look, Fuzzball is quite the hostile and very short-tempered cat. They don't like anyone poking into any of their business and they definitely don't enjoy discussions regarding their family, or lack thereof. See, outside of Boypaw and Blowpaw, almost all of Fuzzball's family split to go live in other clans. They see this as the ultimate betrayal and have since not forgiven their other, estranged kin.Responsibility: SkibidipawMEWS Description: A crazy, white ball of fur.Name: RolloutAge: 34 MoonsCanon Appearance: A light brown tabby tom with clear, pale blue eyes and a skinny, fluffy tail and dainty, brown paws with black whiskers. Personality: Stuck somewhere between being defensive and being polite, Rollout is the mystery between the Rock 'n Roll brothers. He was one of the first kits to always be misidentified as Rockhard in their youth which led to their mother having to remind everyone that Rollout was the lighter brown-coloured tabby. Because of this, Rollout and Rockhard have almost never seen eye to eye despite them both getting along with Rockon and Trackstar respectively. Rollout hopes one day to shove Rockhard's nose into the mud and call him a mouse brain.Responsibility: ToadpawMEWS Description: No he's not the leader, although he is dying to say it... Name: HeavymetalAge: 31 MoonsCanon Appearance: A large, pale grey tom with darker flecks. Has massive paws and lively, blue eyes. Thick fur and a fluffy tail with pointed ears and silver whiskers.Personality: Having been raised alongside the Rock 'n Roll brothers, Heavymetal is one of the more nicer cats until it comes to any outsider threatening his kin or territory. He's considered the "brightest" out of his adopted litter-mates, though he's still a long shot from Rockon and Trackstar. Being raised in the former OreoClan at a time when music was still considered an art as well as a passion, Heavymetal is quite happy to continue passing down the tradition of teaching someone to express themselves through colourful ways.Responsibility: BumblepawMEWS Description: Has the second-best name here.Name: MinecraftAge: 16 MoonsCanon Appearance: Minecraft is a slender, short, soft-furred, lithe grey cat with small, brown spots over their back and grass-green eyes. Their tail ends in a grey tip and they have frail, dainty, grey paws with a grey muzzle and doe-like eyes with ivory whiskers.Personality: There's not quite much going on inside that head of theirs. Minecraft barely knows or seems to understand anything. They're always wearing a smile, even after the most abrasive and heated arguments have broken out. Though they seem to understand enough to never become involved with anyone's business. Minecraft keeps to themselves and is always polite, even if just a little out of it sometimes.MEWS Description: A real blockhead...
APPRENTICES:
(Kids who train hard to become cannon fodder)
Name: BlowpawAge: 13 MoonsCanon Appearance: A short, spiky-furred, white tom with dark brown tabby stripes and amber eyes.Personality: Blowpaw takes after his mentor and Fuzzball quite a lot. He seemingly hates everything, including himself as well as his name and hopes to StarClan that things might just end well for him in the long run. He's mean, rude, only cares about himself and doesn't trust others to do his dirty work for him. Ok, so he might trust his brother, Boypaw, a little to air out his grievances every once in a while but no one else gets that privilege!Mentor: RockhardMEWS Description: Don't tease him too hard, he still has claws. Name: BoypawAge: 13 MoonsCanon Appearance: A fluffy, lithe, pale cream tom with light brown flecks and gorgeous, stunning, shining, blue eyes with silver whiskers and a long, thin tail.Personality: Mentor: RockonMEWS Description: Someone who should've really stayed in the early 2000's...Name: BumblepawAge: 6 MoonsCanon Appearance: A dark brown tabby she-cat with bright, yellow eyes and a fluffy, striped tail.Personality: Mentor: HeavymetalMEWS Description: Looks nothing like BumblebeeName: ToadpawAge: 6 MoonsCanon Appearance: A lithe, spiky-furred, short, black-and-white tom with grass-green eyes. Has a stumpy, fluffy, short tail and long legs with white fur and black spots with a pink nose.Personality:Mentor: RolloutMEWS Description: If you squint, he looks like a toadName: SkibidipawAge: 6 MoonsCanon Appearance: A silver-grey tom with dark brown spots all over his pelt and white whiskers with blazing, amber eyes.Personality: Mentor: FuzzballMEWS Description: Looks like the inside of a Taco Bell toilet QUEENS:Name: NightshadeAge: 46 MoonsCanon Appearance: A sleek, short, spiky-furred, black she-cat with forest-green eyes and a long, curly tail with dainty paws.Personality:Kits: Badkit, Omenkit, GivekitMEWS Description: Cover your drinks KITS:Name: RavenkitAge: 2 MoonsCanon Appearance: A tall, slender, fluffy, soft-furred, black she-kit with hauntingly beautiful, amber eyes and a white tail tip.Personality:MEWS Description: Probably dabbles in the Black ArtsName: CardinalkitAge: 2 MoonsCanon Appearance: A sleek-furred, slender, dark ginger tabby she-kit with clear, brilliant, blue eyes.Personality:MEWS Description: Someone who's not growing up to become a Christian.Name: BadkitAge: 3 MoonsCanon Appearance: A spiky-furred, stocky, grey tom with dark yellow eyes and a single, dark grey stripe along his back. Appears to have stripes in the shape of guitar strings along his pelt in a dark grey colour.Personality:MEWS Description: Was born to a certain guitar riff.Name: OmenkitAge: 3 MoonsCanon Appearance: A short, spiky, sleek-furred grey tabby kit with bright, clear, yellow eyes and a darker grey tail tip with white paws and a muzzle.Personality:MEWS Description: Bad times are very clearly ahead with this one.Name: GivekitAge: 3 MoonsCanon Appearance:Personality:MEWS Description: Do not give him anything!
OTHERS:
Name: CanarystarAge: 148 MoonsCanon Appearance: A canary-yellow, spiky-furred, slender she-cat with soulful, dark-green eyes and what appears to be bird-like wing markings on her flank in a pale, yellow colour. Had a long tail and silver whiskers with a pink nose.Personality:Affiliation: StarClanMEWS Description: She dies right at the beginning, dw.Name: RowantailAge: 175 MoonsCanon Appearance:Personality:Affiliation: UnknownMEWS Description: Textbook definition of a deadbeat dad.Name: ApplesightAge: 85 MoonsCanon Appearance: An elegant, tall, silver tabby tom with apple-green eyes.Personality:Affiliation: StarClanMEWS Description: He probably would've liked apple cider. Name: SongAge: 23 MoonsCanon Appearance: A dark, seal-brown tabby she-cat with sunset-golden eyes and a long, striped, skinny tail with black paws.Personality:Affiliation: RogueMEWS Description: Someone who left to get the milk.Name: TheiaAge: 23 MoonsCanon Appearance: A sleek-furred, pure black she-cat with golden eyes.Personality:Affiliation: RogueMEWS Description: This is what I got when I asked for my friend's character to be in my story... They've never read Warriors, LOL!Name: AstraAge: 23 MoonsCanon Appearance: A long-furred, fluffy white she-cat with tall ears and blue eyes.Personality: Affiliation: RogueMEWS Description: This is my other friend as a cat, I have no idea what a "mountain cat breed" is... Name: MurphyAge: 31 MoonsCanon Appearance: A light, silver-grey tabby tom with darker flecks and white stripes. Sometimes changes to a light brown tabby with green eyes.Personality: Affiliation: KittypetMEWS Description: Some old dude Name: EbonyjawAge: 34 MoonsCanon Appearance: A sleek, short-furred black tom with one single, white marking on his muzzle and bright, amber eyesPersonality: He's pretty chill.Affiliation: LonerMEWS Description: Some buff, African-American guy Name: DragontoothAge: 34 MoonsCanon Appearance: Look up 'Asexual Dragon Plushie' and that's him.Personality: A floof ball that's also a goofball. :3Affiliation: LonerMEWS Description: Trackstar's ex-baby brother.Name: JackalAge: 27 MoonsCanon Appearance: He looks like one of those mountain cats...Personality: Major Asshole who's an asshat and also a jackass.Affiliation: RogueMEWS Description: If his name ended with 'ass' would that be classed as 'non-kid friendly'?
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As the sun began to sink lower over the mountains surrounding the valley, Canarystar's breathing became more ragged. With every breath, she struggled to breathe (wait, was this how it was supposed to go? Idk, anyway) Her green eyes tiredly stared up at the face of her most loyal Medicine Cat, Oldmate. "Oldmate," she groaned, her tired eyes struggling to stay open. "Yes, love?" The old, grouchy white and grey tabby tom huffed as he sat, waiting for her to kick the bucket. "Te-tell O-Orangepelt," she sputtered as she weakly coughed. "T-tell him that he's not the leader." "What?" Oldmate leaned over as he raised a brow down at her, tail flicking out in concern behind him. "But you made him deputy!""Well..." Canarystar tilted her head to the side as she sighed and thought for a moment. "He can't be. He's too orange." "That's..." Oldmate frowned as he tried to understand where the bright yellow she-cat was coming from. "He has to wait at least twenty moons before someone dies and makes him leader again.... And he likes Cheetos." She rasped as her whole body shuddered with a new tremor. "Oh," Oldmate nodded and leaned back. "Understandable." He bowed his head curtly. "Oreos are superior!" Canarystar whispered defiantly as her body trembled and with one final breath, she was gone. "Fffffffffffffox dung," Oldmate stared down at the body of their now deceased leader. His blue eyes wide with 'oh shit' as he had to figure out what to do from here. StarClan hadn't been answering his emails lately because he'd lost their super secret fax machine. "Whelp," he hummed and leaned back as he stood up to finally exit the den that smelt of death and address his waiting clan. "Time to pick someone out, I guess." He sighed as he narrowed his gaze on each cat. Orangepelt's disloyalty would not go unnoticed, however, he turned towards Trackrunner. "You," Oldmate meowed. "Me?" The tall, sportsy black and white she-cat frowned. "Mhm," Oldmate nodded. "I'd simp for you but Greyhairs has better taste in Spotify playlists." "Oh," Trackrunner frowned, a little hurt by his words. "Hehaha!" Greyhairs stood up with a nasty smirk as his fuzzy, grey tail lashed out behind him. "Suck it, female." Trackrunner whirled around to glare at him with a hiss. "Just because you're seeing the Medicine Cat in secret every night doesn't mean that you can act all high and mighty, Greyhairs." There was a collective gasp from the clan as she exposed them in 4k. Greyhairs huffed as he looked down on her - from a cliff ledge he was standing on because Trackrunner is secretly a tall, Goth mommy. "Are you saying that you hate the Gays, Trackrunner?" "Pfft, no," the she-cat frowned at him. "I'm saying God hates Gays." "Oh my God," Mangopaw knelt down in front of Airstrike, his mentor for the time being. "She's telling the truth!" "No she isn't!" Greyhairs hissed over at the weird group of orange cats that always seemed to get a bit larger and larger every time he looked away from them. "She's just pretending to be religious to use her homophobia as an excuse!"Some cats yowled their cheers in agreement with him until Oldmate spoke once more and they quietened down. "Actually, Greyhairs," the Medicine Cat kept his head bowed in slight shame. "She's not wrong.""Heh," Trackrunner held her nose in the air as she smiled. "Take that, Soyboy." "Shhhhhhhhut up and let the old man speak, Trackrunner!" Orangepelt hissed as he glared up at her with his massive, green, Firestar-like eyes. But that's where the resembelance stops imho, he's probably more like Sparkpelt - when I haven't even read that far yet... Soon enough the entire Clan's gaze was on Oldmate as he swallowed back a nervous lump, curled his long, skinny tail around his paws and finally spoke. "StarClan has blocked my number, we're now all on our own. In her dying breath, Canarystar declared that Cheetos are the lower life forms of this world." There were a few gasps before a yowl cried out. "Traitor!" "This cannot be!""Cheetos are just as good as oreos!" Oldmate shrank back, looking to his boyfriend for help as Trackrunner leapt up onto the rock beside Greyhairs and gave a fierce yowl to address the Clan. "Silence!" They all soon fell quiet with their gazes pinned on the Goth mommy as she held her tail high. "Clearly this revelation brings with it the absurd reality that cheetos are inferior, hence Orangepelt has been demoted and Canarystar has fallen! I, Trackrunner, am now your new leader!" "Hold on a second," Hellfire frowned from where he sat. "Who said you could be in charge?" "Well clearly I haven't pissed off the Gods because as a non-Medicine Cat, I'm expecting kits in a wonderful and law-abiding marriage to Rockhard." Trackrunner then lifted her paw to point it at one of the Rock siblings; she was glad that unlike most of her clan, she could tell them apart. "Ah, mouse dung." Nightshade huffed, swivelling her ears back. "Does this mean that we're going to have more dimwits running about unsupervised?" "Not if you follow me!" Trackrunner puffed out her chest proudly with a determined look. "I am clearly suited to the role because you're all listening to me anyway." "I mean," Minecraft frowned nervously as they glanced off to the side. "You are a gorgeous she-cat." "Thank you, Minecraft." Trackrunner nodded her head in thanks. "Hey, that's my wife!" Rockhard protested with a glare. "Only I get to compliment her!""But I gave her a fish the other day, Rockhard." Beside him, his near-identical brother, Rockon, frowned in worry. "Is that alright?" "Yes," Rockhard huffed, turning back to face him. "She's fat, and she's gotta eat for four now." "Hey!" Trackrunner flattened her ears, glaring at her husband. "I'm not fat!" "How do you know how many kits she's going to have?" Babayaga questioned with a salty look. "She's so thin she could stand behind a tree and you wouldn't notice that she's there!" "Alright, enough about Trackrunner's weight!" Orangepelt soon leapt up onto the rock beside Greyhairs and Trackrunner. His bright, orange fur stood on end with tension as he glared at his clan-mates. "This is a serious matter we must address." He pointed a paw over at Oldmate. "Our sole Medicine Cat has been meeting up with one of our very own clan-mates in secret. Greyhairs of OreoClan, no less.""Why do you say that as if Greyhairs literally isn't our clan-mate?" Trackrunner turned her head to squint down at him. "He lives here, same as us, mouse brain." "Be quiet hormonal woman!" Orangepelt shouted into the crowd. "A Cheeto-coloured Chad is speaking!" She shook her head and rolled her eyes. Orangepelt continued. "Because of his gay fantasies, the Conservative StarClan won't answer our booty calls or even show up to our Ouija Board sessions!" The orange tom hissed as his fur stood violently on end to make him look three times bigger than he actually was. "We should cast them out! Both of them, Greyhairs and Oldmate!" There were a few collective gasps of shock circulating through the group before Orangepelt nodded. "If we cast them out and StarClan comes back, I, Orangepelt, will be our new leader!" There were a few groans of spiritual pain at that statement. The fuzzy, orange tom narrowed his eyes at his clan-mates while Trackrunner snickered and flicked her elegant, long tail. "They'd never follow you, they despise you and let's not forget Orangepelt's betrayal to the Oreo Code. Follow me, cats of OreoClan and I will lead you to a new age of endless prosperity!" "What's prosperity?" Flowerpaw asked as she glanced at her brother. "I would shrug to tell you that I don't know but cats don't shrug, sister." Foxpaw huffed, looking unimpressed. "Oh," Flowerpaw glanced down sadly. "Why would we follow you?!" Moonpaw yowled defiantly from where they stood at the centre, draped in moonlight. "You're going to flood the clan with Rockhard's kits! No cat needs any more of that dull-witted litter harassing our genes!" Trackrunner narrowed her green eyes down at the silvery-white apprentice angrily. "You're not even an adult so shut up!" "No, Trackrunner," Dragontooth frowned from where he sat closest to the ledge, looking up at her with pleading, violet eyes. "He's got a point. I love you, sis, I do, but I don't want to babysit Rockhard's kits." "Same," Ebonyjaw, her other brother, responded blandly. Trackrunner became flabbergasted. "F-fine. Then go off on your own or join the others. I have enough cats to make my own clan." "Hmm," Babayaga peered over at her child, Oldmate, with a thoughtful look before she spoke. "She does have a point. I'm goin' with her." "What, Mom?!" Oldmate frowned at the fuzzy, white and grey patchy she-cat. "You can't leave me! Who'll look after our kits?" He stuck a paw in Greyhairs' direction. "Mouse brain, toms and gays can't have kits," Palmface muttered from where he sat right beside him. "God forbids it." "Hence why I'm more powerful than you," Trackrunner smiled sweetly. "Ok well enough of this," Orangepelt huffed and curled his tail out behind him proudly. "All those in favour of joining me while we try to navigate through this crazy world together?" "Oh, I'll go with you, Orangepelt!" Flowerpaw's blue eyes shone brightly. "I'd follow you to the ends of the earth!" "Ok..." Orangepelt cringed back slightly. "Aaaaanyone else?" "I guess I'm going too," Foxpaw sighed. "Can't leave my sister's side." "Hang on," Hellfire spoke next. "Orangepelt, what about Finchfur and Puppetmaster? They need someone to take care of them." "Ugh fine," Orangepelt growled. "My sister and her sugar daddy can come too, I guess." "Well that settles it then," Trackrunner glared at the orange tom. "Now we have two clans, those that don't come with us are forced to join GayClan." "Screw you!" Greyhairs hissed at her. "We'll be called PepsiClan! Because it's the best beverage to bring to the birthday parties." "Uhh, no it ain't." Trackrunner gave him some serious side-eye. "That's Coke Cola, nothing beats that." "Huh," Greyhairs stared at her. "I took you for more of a Sprite girl." "How dare you," Trackrunner glared at him, flattening her ears back. "Coke is the best drink on this entire planet and I won't settle for anything else." "Orangepelt," Flowerpaw asked. "What are we naming our clan?" "And who's joining?" Foxpaw asked. "I don't wanna go with Moonpaw, he's having a gender identity crisis." Moonpaw hissed at him, lashing his tail. "Thank you for using my correct pronouns this time." "You're welcome," Foxpaw quietly sneered at him with a smirk. "Hmm," Orangepelt thought for a moment. "Well, I guess it's literally just only the orange-coloured kids, the geriatrics and my sister for now. So... How about CheetosClan?" "I like that idea!" Flowerpaw eagerly nodded as the other two leaders continued to argue. "Yeah you would," Foxpaw remarked without looking at her. "Is this literally my whole Clan?" Orangepelt asked once he'd taken those who wanted to go with him away from the others. "A couple of children, my sister, a dog and an old man?" Dogtail woofed at him, wagging his tail as he nodded. "Mouse dung," the tom's green eyes went wide. "Well, could be worse, I guess. Could be stuck listening to Trackrunner bang on about rock music all day, every day until the day I die." "Yeah," Mangopaw sighed. "Well," Orangepelt seemed to brighten up a bit. "Once we find a good spot to set up shop, I guess you three can all become fully fledged warriors.""Really!?" Flowerpaw's eyes lit up with excitement. "No way!" Mangopaw beamed. "You're the best leader ever!" Foxpaw smiled for once. "Yeah, yeah, just make sure that we don't lose Puppetmaster, he's going to be important later." Orangepelt waved his paw in the old tom's direction. Meanwhile, back at the cliff ledge, Trackrunner hissed a final retort at Greyhairs. "And that's why Coke-Cola will always remain as the superior beverage!" She left with half the clan, almost everyone except Moonpaw who sat fuming in silence. "Well," Palmface stared at the night sky. "That could've gone worse." "Oh great," Moonpaw rolled his blue eyes. "Now I'm stuck with the gays." "Moonpaw," Greyhairs narrowed his blue eyes down at him. "You're trans, that technically makes you one of us." "Yes," Oldmate nodded as he kept his tail curled neatly around his paws. "Trackrunner would've kicked you out." Moonpaw huffed. "Yeah but now I'm the only child labourer here." "Well," Palmface soon got to his paws. "Tell you what, kid, if you help us around camp, I'll make you a warrior." "Ok," Moonpaw pouted. And that's how OreoClan died. :D
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The camera zoomed out and the picture began to sharpen. Soon enough, a black cat's face grinned down at the camera. "Ah ha! It works!" She exclaimed, tall ears flicking in the direction of her colleague whom she glanced at. "That's a relief," Hellfire muttered offscreen. Trackrunner then cleared her throat as she held the camera up so it focused on her face and the background behind her. "Hello world! My name is Trackrunner! I am the leader and founding member of CokeClan, only the best Clan in the entire valley! We believe that Coke Cola is the only acceptable beverage and no other alternative compares," the camera was then harshly zoomed in as she glared at it and whispered. "Whoever tells you otherwise is clearly deceiving you. Don't. Fall. For. It." The camera was then zoomed out again as she threw her head back and with one black paw on her white chest, she announced. "We've decided to settle here," she then fiddled with the device to turn it around so it could see the naturally beautiful ravine they were currently standing in. The ravine had a small, crystal-like pond and fresh reeds growing beside it. In the ravine's walls were a handful of caves littering its rocky sides. "This is the North-Western most point of Mountain Dew valley and serves as a protector area against any outside invaders. Like a turtle shell, or so I'm told." She scoffed, shrugging behind the camera. She paused her scanning as she landed on one, pale brown speckled tom. "That's my future deputy, Rockon. He's a pretty reliable soldier if I do say so myself." The camera then squinted past the speckled tom to narrow in on two, table brown toms - who were almost identical in the sunlight. "The darker tabby is my hubby, Rockhard. He's the best. Beside him is bro numbero dos, Rollout. It was a tough choice to pick between him and Rockon but eh, I'm not too worried about it." Trackrunner then panned the camera across and up some of the rocky ledges to stare at a fuzzy, dark gray cat sunning itself. "That's Baba Yaga, she may be old but she's hella useful. Former mother and medicine cat right there. A shame her boys like Pepsi though, pfft." Trackrunner could be heard rolling her eyes as she shook her head. "What are you doing, Trackrunner?" The camera was suddenly shot downward and zoomed in on a miscoloured face staring up at her with a blank smile. "Oh, nothing, Minepaw, I'm just... I'm livestreaming our Clan to show the world who we are!" "Oh! Can I say something!?" Minepaw's eyes widened a little in excitement. "Uh, sure," Trackrunner laughed nervously. "Everyone, this is Minepaw, my humble and trustworthy apprentice!" "You're the best, Trackrunner!" Minepaw beamed before they continued, waving a paw at the camera. "Hi Shakira! I'm a big fan of your music! When are you coming back to the top 200?" Trackrunner sighed as she peered around the camera to frown down at them. "Minepaw, I don't Shakira would be watching this." The speckled cat's smile vanished as they frowned, tail dropping behind them. "Oh." "But I tell you what," Trackrunner smirked as she brought the camera back up to her eye. "I'll blast all your favourite songs during your warrior ceremony tonight, ok? It'll be a Shakirathon!" "Really?" The sparkle returned in Minepaw's mismatched eyes. Trackrunner nodded with a proud smile. "Awesome! Thanks Trackrunner!" "No problemo, kiddo!" The tuxedo she-cat then panned the camera away as the apprentice ran off to go tell their friends. The camera then landed on the tabby she was conversing with. "Phew, kids can be such a hassle, amirite, Hellfire?" The large, brown tabby tom frowned. "Aren't... Aren't you having your own soon?" "Yep! This is Hellfire, everyone. The best cat around! He's fought off badgers, dogs, alligators... What haven't you fought off?" Trackrunner frowned in thought. "Uh... Liberals?" Hellfire suggested with a nervous smile. "Eh, true." Trackrunner agreed. "We haven't encountered those yet. I wonder how they'd feel fighting a bunch of sentient human-food loving cats?" Hellfire just stared into the camera since cats can't shrug. "Oh, by the way," Trackrunner grinned as she leaned over and put her face in view of the camera. "While I've got you. I'd like your opinion on some kit names?" "Oh, s-sure." Hellfire curled back in himself and blinked. "Uh, what did you have in mind?" "Well, I'm not sure why but," Trackrunner hummed as she tapped a toe bean to her cheek. "'Frog' is speaking to me. I could go for a Freddo coloured kit, to be honest." "Right..." Hellfire nodded, keeping his stark gaze on the camera. "What else?" "Bumblebeekit maybe? I'm a big Transformers fan. The less it shuts up, the better." Hellfire looked defeated as he tried to think, moving his gaze away from the camera and Trackrunner's presence. "Bumblekit could do just fine? I feel like Bumblebeekit is maybe a bit too much." "Yeah but Bumblebeekit is so unique and cute! It'll be perfect for a girl!" Trackrunner swooned at him. "Bumblekit. Then at their warrior ceremony you could name them Bumblebee. Rolls off the tongue better." "It does?" Hellfire nodded. "You are leader after all, yeah?" Trackrunner nodded so he continued. "Well you've already got the full name down pat, anyway, so why even bother?" "Mm, true." Trackrunner made a thinking face at the camera. "And if I have any more than that I'm going to go with 'Skibidikit'." Hellfire deadpanned into the camera. He said nothing verbally but his shocked expression said everything. "What?" Trackrunner turned her head to him, her face full of worry. "What's wrong?""Uh," Hellfire opened his mouth and blinked. "Y-Y'know, what? I think I might go for a hunt. Yeah..." He glanced over at the centre of the camp where every cat was working hard to construct their new home. "Yeah, we could do with some food here." "Oh that's a great idea!" Trackrunner beamed back at the camera. "See guys, what I'd tell you? Hellfire's the best! Always putting himself before others, what a chad!" In the background, Hellfire slowly slunk off into the shadows, his gaze flicking to and fro as he snuck off.
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In the shadows of the forest, Hellfire snuck further and further away from CokeClan's camp, head filled with the wild thoughts and senses overwhelmed by the scent of a nearby mouse. He startled when the bush next to him suddenly rustled and out popped a striking, flame-coloured head. "Ah!" "Oh, hey Hellfire." Orangepelt smiled at him. "What are you doing all the way out here?" The large tabby sighed before he straightened up. "Dude, you won't believe this." Orangepelt raised a brow at him. "Oh?""Fuckin' Trackrunner is going to name one of her kits 'Skibidikit'!" "Oh," Orangepelt deadpanned. "Yeah, 'oh'!" Hellfire nodded as the fur along his spine bristled. "And that's not even the worst! She's going to be blasting Shakira songs all night and naming the other two after a chocolate and Transformers character!" Orangepelt flattened his ears against his head and looked away. "Which chocolate?" "Freddos," Hellfire answered with some hostility. "Mm," Orangepelt hummed in disapproval. "Which Transformers character?""BUMBLEBEE!" Hellfire lost it. "Oh boy," Orangepelt smiled nervously, still not meeting his former clan-mate's angry gaze. "Sounds like fun over there." "It's utter Hell!" Hellfire huffed lashing his fluffy, long tail. "I don't wanna go back." "Well," Orangepelt tilted his head to the side as he hesitantly suggested. "We do have Dogtail over in our clan." "Is he ok?" Hellfire's fiery amber eyes widened. "Yeah," Orangepelt nodded. "He's doing great, actually! Helping me out with a lot of the construction work. Oh, by the way, have you seen my camera anywhere? I think I dropped it when I got jumped by that kid earlier." "Uh," now it was time for Hellfire to not meet his gaze. "Nope, sorry. Haven't seen it." "Damn!" Orangepelt glared at the ground for a moment before he sighed. "Oh well, we'd appreciate the help anyway. You're more than welcome to join CheetosClan." "Y'know, I might," Hellfire smirked as his fur smoothed back over. "We could get The Boys back together?" Orangepelt was hopeful and Hellfire nodded. "I miss you guys." "Agree to disagree that Coke Cola is bad for your health?" "Wait," Hellfire frowned, tilting his head as he raised a brow at him. "Even Diet Coke?" "Pepsi Max is healthier from what I hear." Orangepelt blankly stated."Oh ok, I'll believe what you say without any evidence to back it up whatsoever." "Great, then it's settled!" Orangepelt beamed as he stuck one hand out of the bush he was wearing. "Welcome to CheetosClan!" "Thanks! Just don't, please, ever, name your kits 'Skibidi'." Hellfire pleaded. Orangepelt winked. "I won't."
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The camera switched on, red light beaming to life as the recording screen flickered and Orangepelt smiled. "See? I told you it would work!" Offscreen there was a hefty sigh of disapproval. "What good is having a camera going to do around here?" Orangepelt's dark green eyes slid in her direction as he glared. "It's entertainment. We could document our founding days of CheetosClan for future generations to learn, Finchfur!" "Right..." The camera was then turned and zoomed in on her flat face. "Because kits will want to learn about how you started a frat group in my husband's basement?" "This isn't a basement," Orangepelt sounded like he was rolling his eyes. "Basements are underground. This is a landfill." "I know that," the ginger queen sassed him back. "It's an expression." "Well it isn't one that I've ever heard before!" The orange tom protested. "Wait, so we're living in a literal dump?" One, new voice asked offscreen and Orangepelt glanced in their direction before focusing the camera on them. "No wonder it stinks here." Flowerpaw scrunched her nose up. "Landfills can be very resourceful, Mangopaw." Orangepelt began. "Look around you! Guys, there's lots of things here that we can build a house out of! Hell, even a five star luxury resort if you put your backs into it." "I... I didn't say anything, Orangepelt." The ginger mackerel tom frowned at him. "That was Foxpaw." "Hush," Orangepelt scolded. "My favourite nephew would never spout such nonsense." Mangopaw frowned at the ground but beside him, Foxpaw became annoyed. "Actually, Orangepelt, I did say that." "Nope," the orange tom covered one of his ears with his free paw. "I'm erasing this conversation from my memory now." "Great StarClan, we're not getting anywhere with all this standing around!" Finchfur groaned. "You're right," Orangepelt nodded down at the camera. "And I'm sorry. Y'know what? I and Dogtail will build the houses, why don't the kids go and collect some stuff for us to build with? Some cinder blocks, bricks and hard wood would be great for starting the foundations!"Foxpaw and Flowerpaw snickered as they bowed their heads together and whispered. "He said 'hard wood'." "I can hear you," Orangepelt meowed flatly. "Look, why don't you go take the camera with you and try to recruit some cats? People are going to love it here when it finally gets up and running! Finchfur you go take a break, you look a little... Upset." "You're lucky it's only a 'little'." She lashed her tail, glaring at her brother before she stormed off. The apprentices glanced at each other before they took the camera. "Ok.""What happens if we break it?" Mangopaw frowned. "Don't break it," Orangepelt huffed. "It's worth more than you are." "So can we sell it?" Foxpaw smiled as he held it up. "No!" Orangepelt growled. "Just go and do something productive, don't get in trouble." "Ok," they said in collective unison before they turned and left the camp. Flowerpaw bowed her head and hissed at her brothers.