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1.Jawn doesn’t think all that much of Geoff before the first time they meet. Awsten tends to exaggerate about his new friends. It isn’t an attempt to make Jawn jealous - although it kind of does - he just gets excited. Jawn assumes this is like when he met Otto, and would not shut up about him for a week straight. Sure, Otto is pretty cool, but he is not all Awsten makes him out to be. That pang in his chest that Jawn feels when Awsten describes Otto as funny or cool or super fuckin’ pretty, dude is not jealousy. It’s also definitely not anything else Jawn wants to examine, but that’s beside the point. And Otto isn’t really around anymore anyway, so it doesn’t even matter. Even if Awsten talks about him every single day anyway. “He’s from California, bro.” Awsten is lying on his back on the floor of Jawn’s bedroom, his feet kicked up on the bed. “That’s like, the coolest thing ever.”“It’s just a state.” Jawn grumbles, doodling on the side of the sheet music to a song Awsten gave him to learn.“Yeah, but he has an accent.” Awsten says, like it’s something to be impressed by. “You have an accent.”“I do not.” Awsten insists. He has been putting active effort into eliminating the southern drawl from his voice ever since he decided he wanted to be famous. It’s working, which makes Jawn a little bit sad. Awsten trying to change himself never ends well - it’s like he’s losing a little part of his best friend.“Everyone has an accent, dude. You have an American accent if nothing else.” Jawn throws his pencil at him, and misses. Awsten sticks his tongue out at him, so Jawn throws the sheet music too. He misses again. “Is there anything else about this guy that’s so cool?”“He can play guitar.”“I can play guitar.” “Are you getting jealous again?” Awsten sits up and leans his chin on the bed beside Jawn’s face. “You know no boy will ever replace you, right?”“Shut up.” Jawn mutters, but he doesn’t drag his eyes away from Awsten. Jawn has accepted recently that he likes guys. Not necessarily more than girls, but he does like them. He doesn’t really feel that way about Awsten - they’re best friends, but that's about it. They have kissed a few times while they were both figuring themselves out, but they concluded that boys? Great. Each other? Nah. Awsten giggles in that way that makes Jawn reconsider. He kisses Jawn on the nose. “You’ll like Geoff. He’s tall, and he’s a sweetheart.”“Is that what you think makes me like a guy?” Jawn asks. “Tall and nice? I like you, and you’re short and an asshole.”Awsten shoves his face away. “Fuck off. I’m nearly six foot.”“You’re as close to six foot as I am to being straight.” Jawn teases. Awsten smacks his arm, not hard enough to hurt.Awsten insists that Jawn meet Geoff as soon as possible, because he needs a second opinion on the guy. He wears chokers, which is apparently a problem, and Awsten doesn’t want some douchebag joining their band again. Honestly, Jawn thinks Awsten just wants to prove to him that this Geoff guy is actually very cool and Jawn was wrong to doubt him. That’s how it usually goes. Awsten always has something to prove.“Geoff!” Awsten shouts across the skatepark, dragging Jawn along by the hand.Sitting on a bench at the other end of the park is a guy with dark hair and long legs in black skinny jeans. He looks up as Awsten shouts to him, and waves enthusiastically like a dog wagging its tail. The whole guy looks like a retriever - messy long hair, wide blue eyes, and excited smile on his face.“Awsten, hi!” He jumps up from the bench. Jesus, he really is all leg. He’s wearing a Linkin Park t-shirt, the Legend of Zelda choker that Awsten complained about around his neck. A few inches taller than Jawn, smile like the sun rising…Jawn has one of those moments then, which has only really happened with girls before, where his brain shuts down. He stares at the man before him - the very pretty, rather tall man - and he loses the ability to form a coherent thought. It takes him a second to come back to himself, by which time Awsten is elbowing him in the side. Geoff has clearly said something to him, that Jawn was too busy short-circuiting.“Hi.” Jawn says, hoping that’s the response they wanted from him.“He’s always this weird, ignore him. I think he was dropped on his head as a baby.” Awsten throws his arm around Jawn’s neck, pulling him into him. “Was not.” Jawn grumbles. They hang out at the park for a while. Awsten was right - Geoff is cool, but in a dorky sort of way. The kind of cool that’s on Jawn and Awsten’s level still. He likes Nintendo and music and laughs at all of Awsten’s stupid jokes. In a few hours, he slots himself perfectly into Jawn and Awsten’s friendship, but without it feeling like he’s getting in between them. Jawn’s jealousy evaporates. Not that he was jealous to begin with, of course.Once they’ve been there for a while, Jawn starts to get itchy, so he fishes around in his jacket pocket for a cigarette. He finds his pack, but his lighter eludes him. Huffing in frustration, he looks over at Awsten.“You got a lighter, dude?”“Of course, I don’t. I don’t smoke.” Awsten scoffs. He is strictly anti-smoking, and has been trying to bully Jawn into quitting for years. It hasn't worked yet. “I might have one.” Geoff unzips his backpack and starts rummaging around in it. “You smoke? Ew.” Awsten wrinkles his nose, like it’s somehow a dealbreaker to their friendship if Geoff does it, but it’s fine when it’s Jawn. He’s always had double standards when it comes to his best friend, though.“Not cigarettes, unless I get offered one at a party or something.” Geoff pulls out a lime green bic lighter from the bottom of his backpack. “There you go.”“Thanks.” Jawn takes it, and offers Geoff a smoke from his pack.He refuses. “No, not if Awsten doesn’t like it.”“See!” Awsten smacks Jawn on the leg. “Geoff doesn’t smoke in front of me, because he cares about my lungs and my beautiful singing voice.” “Please.” Jawn lights his cigarette and blows the first mouthful of smoke in Awsten’s face. He shrieks and coughs as he shuffles away from them. “You’re such a drama queen.”Geoff giggles, but he says, “Don’t be mean to him. Smoking is bad for you.” “See!” Awsten insists, still shuffling away.“You just said you smoke.” Jawn rolls his eyes.“I didn’t say it was a good idea.” Geoff shrugs.Jawn thinks he could get used to having this guy around. 2.“I like your bracelets.” Jawn says offhandedly to Geoff.It’s not an abnormal comment for him to make. All of his friends, being emo or scene kids, wear some number of bracelets. Usually Jawn says it to break the ice with someone he doesn’t know very well, but Geoff’s bracelets are genuinely quite cool. Everything about Geoff is cool, even if he’s a bit of a dork.Does Jawn have a crush on Geoff? He doesn’t really know. What is a crush supposed to feel like? It should feel good, fun, butterflies in your stomach. Jawn doesn’t feel good about much these days, but he has a lot of fun with Geoff. But he has fun with Awsten too, and he definitely doesn’t have a crush on him. Butterflies never made sense to him - his doctor called that feeling anxiety.Maybe Jawn isn’t normal when it comes to this sort of thing. He’s already bisexual, he might as well be fucked up about it. “Oh, thank you.” Geoff holds his arm out so Jawn can get a better look at the bracelets. “Which one is your favourite?”Jawn examines the wristful of bracelets Geoff has. They’re all pretty simple up close, but one of them is black with green glow-in-the-dark beads. Sometimes it’s the only way Jawn can track Geoff down in a dark crowd, at a party or a show. Geoff is tall but not exceptionally so, and he blends into the sea of white boys who come to the sort of events they go to. “That one.” Jawn points to it. Geoff takes it off and grabs Jawn’s arm so he can slide it onto his wrist. “There you go.”“Oh, no, I can’t take it-” Jawn tries to take it back off but Geoff grabs his hand to stop him. His fingers are warm and calloused from playing the guitar. If Jawn thinks too hard about it he starts to get dizzy.“Sure you can. People give them to me all the time, I’m kinda running out of arms to keep them on.” Geoff laughs and pats Jawn’s arm. “Keep it, honestly.”“Oh, um. Thank you.” Jawn nods.He does keep the bracelet. In fact, he refuses to take it off except to shower. All his other bracelets come off when he sleeps except that one. Of course, Awsten notices this when he’s sleeping over one night.“What’s this shit about?” Awsten pings the bracelet on Jawn’s wrist while they’re watching a movie in Awsten’s room. Neither of them has said anything in hours. Jawn is half asleep, leaning on Awsten and barely following the movie. The ping of the beads against his arm snaps him awake.“Be careful with it!” Jawn tugs his arm away, checking that the bracelet isn’t damaged. “If you break it, I’ll kill you.”“Did a girl give it to you or something?” Awsten asks. “Boy, sorry. You’re gay.”“I know.” Jawn rolls his eyes. He’s bisexual, but whatever. He generally prefers guys anyway. “It’s nothing like that. Geoff gave it to me, and he’ll be upset if you break it.”“Hm.” Awsten says. “You have a crush on him, right?”Jawn splutters out a feeble defence that just makes Awsten grin at him. “I- no! Seriously, no. It's not like that. Geoff's my friend- our friend. You know I wouldn't make things weird like that.”“It's fine if you do, man. If I was gay, I wouldn't say no.” Awsten shrugs like it's a normal thing to say. It depends on the day, whether Awsten will commit to being queer or not.“It's not- I don't know. How am I supposed to know?”“Because I'm the expert on this stuff? Ask Otto, girls like him.” “Does Otto like girls, though?”“Probably. I mean, I’ve not asked. I hope not. I mean-” Awsten coughs. “Like, ‘cause then he’ll be fine with you being gay.”“Uh huh.” Jawn doesn’t want to get into Awsten’s inevitable crisis over Otto right now. He’s too tired. “Whatever, it doesn’t matter. Geoff probably doesn’t like me anyway.”“If I was gay, I’d makeout with you.” Awsten comments. “I don’t see why Geoff wouldn’t.”“Do you think before you say things or is there an uninterrupted path between your brain and your mouth?”“Bold of you to assume I have a brain.” Awsten knocks on the side of his own head, imitating a hollow noise. “Nothing going on up here brother.”“Explains a lot.”“Shut up.” 3.“I don’t know how I’m gonna get there.” Jawn complains. “Mom and dad are working and you two are useless.”“It’s not my fault my truck shit itself and died.” Otto shrugs. He’s sitting upside down against a tree, for some reason. “And it’s not exactly Awsten’s fault he got grounded.”How exactly Awsten got grounded at the age of twenty is a mystery, but it’s something that would only happen to him. It means he isn’t here, at the skatepark with them. And it means he can’t drive Jawn to the hospital tomorrow. He’s fine, he just has a checkup he has to go to but he doesn’t have his own car. Sure, he could take the bus but that makes him anxious - he doesn’t know the exact route and it would give him a headache to figure it out. “Have you asked… I don’t know.” Otto asks, clearly struggling to think of other friends that Jawn might have. “Geoff? He has a car, I’ve seen it.” “I don’t know him that well.” Jawn shrugs.That’s not true - he’s spent a lot of time hanging out with Geoff since they first met. He’s a lot of fun to talk to, especially about music and video games. Whenever Jawn goes out for a smoke at band practice, Geoff comes with him, so they spend a lot of time alone together. Sometimes Awsten comes and bothers them but he just complains about the smoke.Geoff is sweet, always concerned about how everyone else is doing. He plays down how good he is at guitar in favour of complimenting everyone else's playing. Like Otto and Jawn, Geoff is up for any mad thing Awsten wants to do, but he is a bit more sensible about it. Sometimes Awsten even listens to him.Despite how much Jawn likes him, he doesn’t feel like Geoff likes him . He’s nice to Jawn, but he’s nice to everyone, so it doesn’t really mean anything. Not that it matters, because Jawn doesn’t have a crush on him anyway.“I’ll ask him for you if you want.” Otto offers.“No, no, that’s fine. I’ll figure something out.”Jawn does not figure anything out, until it's the morning of his appointment and he still doesn’t have a ride. In a panic, he calls everyone he can think of until-“Geoff, hey, I need a favour.” Jawn does his very best not to hyperventilate.“Sure, what’s up?” Geoff asks, cheerful as ever.“I, uh, need a ride to a hospital appointment at twelve but everyone is busy and I don’t have a car-”Geoff cuts him off. “Which hospital? I can pick you up in an hour.” “Oh, um…” Jawn doesn’t even remember which hospital he’s meant to be going to. He rummages through a pile of papers to try and find his appointment letter. “Sorry it’s such short notice.”“It’s fine, shit happens. I’m not doing anything important today anyway.” Geoff says. “Thank you so much. I’ll buy you lunch.” Jawn suggests.“Nah, it’s fine. You focus on doing hospital stuff and I’ll focus on not crashing into any trees.”Despite his anxiety, Jawn laughs. “Do you often crash into trees?”“No comment.”Geoff picks him up an hour later, as promised. He doesn’t ask what Jawn’s hospital appointment is about, which is nice. It isn’t his business anyway, but Jawn has been friends with Awsten long enough that he’s used to his friends being completely in his business.“I’ll wait here for you.” Geoff says when they get to the hospital, twenty minutes early.“Oh, that’s okay. I can make my own way home.”“No, I’ll wait. We can go get food after if you want.”“I thought you didn’t want me to buy you lunch.”“Well, no. I was going to pay.”“You drove me to my hospital appointment and you want to pay for lunch?” Jawn asks, exasperated. “You’re too nice, you can’t be a real person.”“Shut up, get out of my car before you end up late.” Geoff grimaces slightly. “I didn’t mean shut up, that was rude.”“Too nice.” Jawn grins at him as he hops out of the car. He shuts the door carefully behind him. “Way too fucking nice.” 4.Jawn hates the cold. He lives in Texas, for Christ’s sake, it should be warm all the time, right? But today it’s below fucking freezing, almost cold enough to snow. Jawn didn’t expect it, so he’s outside the venue wearing a t-shirt and skinny jeans. What a fucking idiot he is. He should have checked the weather before he left the house, or at least considered that it is November and it might be cold at midnight.Shivering, Jawn holds his cigarette as close to his face as he can without burning himself. This is one of those times that Jawn genuinely considers quitting smoking. He hates to admit it, but Awsten might be right. Standing out in the cold is not worth the death sticks.“Hey.” Geoff appears beside him, so quiet in his approach that Jawn jumps when he speaks. “Sorry, sorry. Awsten said I might find you out here.”“Is he looking for me?” Jawn asks. He resists the urge to roll his eyes. Of course Awsten wants something. What is it now? A guitar strap, a mic stand, his soul? Jawn would give Awsten anything he asked for, but begrudgingly. Best not to let him get too full of himself.“No.” Geoff chuckles. “I am. I just wanted to see you.”“Oh.” Jawn’s brain shuts down and reboots before he can say anything else. “Why?”“Because you’re my friend, and I think you’re cool.” Geoff blushes, although that might just be the cold. As if reminded of how cold he is, Jawn shivers involuntarily. Geoff frowns at him, and immediately takes off his jacket.“I don’t want your jacket, dude.” Jawn insists. He did this to himself, he’s not going to make Geoff cold because he didn’t plan appropriately.“I’m not giving you my jacket.” Geoff pulls off his hoodie too, hands that over to Jawn, then puts his jacket back on. “You’ll be warmer in that.”Jawn drops his half-smoked cigarette and crushes it under his boot. Tentatively, he takes the hoodie from Geoff and pulls it over his head. It is far too big for him, sleeves covering his hands and hem hanging past his hips. He drowns in it, the fabric and the comforting smell of Geoff. “Thanks.” Jawn hopes the flush in his face isn’t obvious or easy to blame on the cold. “No problem.” Geoff says. Then he wraps his arm around Jawn’s shoulders as if he’s trying to warm him up some more.All it really succeeds in doing is making Jawn blush harder. He doesn’t try to speak, because he knows he would stutter through every word. They stay there like that for a while, watching as people walk past towards the front door of the venue. It’s comfortable, familiar, like Jawn is supposed to spend his life tucked under Geoff’s arm.That would be nice, Jawn thinks. Sticking by Geoff until he inevitably gets bored of Jawn and goes away. Everyone does that eventually, with the exception of Awsten who seems chained to Jawn by some unbreakable string of fate. Even Otto fucked off for a year.Geoff is here right now, though, leaning his cheek against Jawn’s temple. Once he has warmed up a bit, he tries to take the hoodie off and give it back. He has absolutely no intention of keeping it. That would be too much.“No, it’s okay.” Geoff insists. “You’ll just get cold again.”“It’s yours, dude.”“That’s never stopped Awsten from stealing my stuff.” Geoff pats Jawn on the back. “Just give it back before we leave.”“Sure.” Jawn, against his better judgement, gives Geoff a hug before they go back into the venue. It’s brief and a little bit awkward, but Geoff squeezes him in his arms so tight that Jawn thinks his ribs might break. He refuses to believe there’s something in it. This is just a platonic hug between friends.Jawn completely forgets to give the hoodie back. Even when Geoff drives him home from the venue, he doesn’t bring it up. It isn’t until Jawn is in his bedroom and kicking off his shoes that he realises he’s still wearing it. He almost calls Geoff to get him to come back for it, but it’s late. They’ll see each other at band practice on Wednesday anyway. He doesn’t take the hoodie off, even though he should. Instead he pulls the collar up to his nose, breathing in the vague smell of laundry detergent and smoke. It’s the same as Geoff’s scent, but more muted. Jawn finds it comforting, like a safety blanket. He considers that this might be weird and takes it off, throwing it over the back of his desk chair. It stays there until Tuesday. Well, Jawn picks it up a few times and holds it up to his face so he can feel the fabric and smell the faded scent of Geoff before then. At this point it’s beyond weird, but it helps calm him down when he’s anxious and his mom is always telling him that he needs better ways to cope. This is better, right?The hoodie mostly stays on the back of Jawn’s chair until Awsten comes over on Tuesday and points straight at it. “That belongs to Geoff.”“You don’t remember my birthday but you can immediately identify a random hoodie as Geoff's?” Jawn asks. There’s no use in denying it.“Your birthday is… December?”“That’s Otto. Mine’s September”“Close enough.” Awsten waves it off. “Stop avoiding the fact that you’ve got your crush’s hoodie in your bedroom.”“I don’t have a crush on Geoff.” Jawn insists. “He let me borrow it when I was cold at the show on Saturday. It’s really not that serious.”“Oh my God, one of us has to have an interesting love life, and it definitely isn’t me. Stop denying things.” Awsten begs.“I mean… maybe?” Jawn sighs. “He’s attractive, and he’s so kind, and he’s funny, but… he isn’t interested in me.” “Did you ask him?” Awsten asks. Jawn shakes his head. “Then how do you know! Ask him next time you see him.”“I would rather die.”“Come on, you have to.”“What if he’s homophobic?” Jawn’s biggest fear is admitting he likes someone and finding out they not only don’t like him back, but they’re gross about it too.“Geoff? He’s, like, the nicest guy ever. He would never.” Awsten grabs Jawn’s shoulders and shakes him less gently than Jawn would like. “Come on~ Live a little. Fuck a hot guy. Or don’t, at least do something that means I can live vicariously through you.”“Maybe you should ask Otto out if you want this so bad.” Jawn pokes him in the stomach.“I- I’m not- me and him- It’s not like that. Don’t be weird.” Awsten shoves him playfully. “ You don’t be weird.” Jawn pushes him back, a little harder than he meant to, sending Awsten tumbling backwards against the bed. He grabs Jawn’s shirt as he falls and pulls him down on top of him.“Look what you did.” Awsten wheezes, winded from Jawn landing on him.“You started it!” Jawn rolls off of Awsten and stares up at the ceiling. They lie there for a while before he speaks again. “Do you really think I should ask Geoff out?”“Yeah. You’ll never know if you don’t ask.” Awsten says. “If he is shitty to you about it, I’ll get Otto to kill him. Or I’ll kick him out of the band.”“Thanks, dude.” Jawn pats Awsten on the leg. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”“You definitely wouldn’t get a date.” Awsten points out. Jawn punches him in the thigh. “Ow!” 5.Jawn is drunk. Really, really drunk. He didn’t mean to get wasted but he has had a bad week and just wanted to forget about it. Awsten dragged him to this stupid party just because Otto would be there, so Jawn is going to be a nuisance about it. The whole night, he’s been following Awsten and Otto around, getting progressively more hammered to try and drown out their bad flirting.“I’m bored .” Jawn slurs, draping himself over Awsten’s shoulders. “This place is lame, I’m tired. Can we go home?”“No, dude, fuck off.” Awsten hisses. “I’m trying to figure out if Otto is gay or not.”“Just ask him.” Jawn says, like Awsten might not have thought of that. Otto isn’t even in the room right now - he went to get himself and Awsten another cola. “Why do you care, anyway?”“No- no reason. Whatever. You can go home on your own if you’re so bored.” Awsten shoves Jawn off of him. “Go away. Be someone else's problem for like, two hours.”Jawn huffs and stalks off, feeling dejected. He doesn’t really know anyone else here. Even if he did, the whole atmosphere is dull. Being at this party is a downer and he’s the right amount of drunk that it’s seriously upsetting him. He wanders out into the back garden and sits down on the porch steps, alone - he even forgot his drink. Everyone else is in the house, music playing over their voices so Jawn can’t hear any of them. He might as well be the only person in the world.He sits there on his own for a while, staring at the grass and trying not to cry. The back door opens behind him, but he doesn’t turn to look at who it is. He doesn’t care. There’s no one here he wants to talk to, unless it’s Awsten coming to apologise.“Hey.” Geoff sits down beside him, a drink in his hand. Condensation on the glass slides over Geoff’s fingers and onto the wooden porch. He smiles at Jawn, warm and comforting. “Fancy seeing you here.”“What are you doing here?” Jawn asks, his speech so jumbled that he barely understands himself. He doesn’t remember Geoff being at this party at all up until now. It’s great to see him, of course, Jawn is just surprised. Of all the places Geoff could be on a Saturday night, why is he sitting here with him? This place is lame, Jawn is lame, and Geoff is so cool. Dorky cool, but that’s more than Jawn has going for him. He wants to cry again.“I heard there was a party. Although I expected more than this. That’s what I get for being fashionably late.” Geoff laughs, then frowns. “Are you crying?”“Oh, um.” Jawn wipes his eyes. His cheeks are wet and he realises that, yeah, he is crying. “I guess.”“Do you wanna get out of here?” Geoff asks, putting his drink down. He wraps an arm around Jawn instead and pulls him against his shoulder. “This place is lame and you clearly aren’t having fun.”“Please.” Jawn cuddles into Geoff, trying to bury himself in the comforting smell and soft feel of his Linkin Park t-shirt. “I’m tired.”“Okay, I’ll find Awsten and-”“Awsten doesn’t want to leave. He’s too busy with stupid Otto.” Jawn spits.Geoff stares at him for a moment, then nods. He must be surprised - Jawn and Awsten are usually attached at the hip. “Alright, no Awsten. I’ll walk you home.”They leave through the house. Awsten and Otto are in a corner, sitting very close and giggling to each other. Whatever Awsten’s plan was must be working. Geoff takes Jawn’s hand and guides him through the small gathering of people until they’re out on the street again. The walk home is a blur, as is Jawn getting to bed. He wakes up hungover, but there’s a glass of water and Advil on his nightstand when he opens his eyes. His phone is plugged in, too. For a moment he’s confused, because he never does this sort of thing for himself. Usually it’s a miracle if he makes it into bed at all. Then he reads the note beside it all.
Hi Jawn,
I don’t know what was wrong last night but I hope it gets better. Your keys and your wallet are on your desk, Otto made sure Awsten got home safe, and your mom didn’t hear us come in so you shouldn’t be in trouble.
I hope your hangover isn’t too bad.
-Geoff :)
Oh. Of course Geoff did this for him. When Jawn checks his phone, he finds a text from Geoff confirming he got home safe too. Awsten has sent him no such text, but Jawn trusts Geoff’s note. Jawn would trust Geoff with pretty much anything, he realises. Maybe he does have a crush. +1“I’m gonna do something about Geoff.” Jawn says.“Why did you phrase that like you’re going to murder him?” Otto asks. Awsten is curled up in his lap while Otto pets his hair. They’re dating now, apparently. Jawn doesn’t mind, it’s actually really nice to see Awsten so happy. The two of them are actually more tolerable now that they’re gross and in love. Awsten’s rambles about how much he loves Otto are more fun to listen to than him trying to act like he doesn’t like Otto at all.“I- no, obviously not that. You have murder on the brain, freak.” Jawn accuses. “I mean… I think I like him.”Awsten gasps, sitting up so fast he almost headbutts Otto. “You have a crush on him!”“I d- maybe. Yeah.” Jawn admits, rubbing his hands over his face. “What’s the threshold for that, exactly? At what point does it stop being good friends and become that?”“You’ve heard me talk about Otto.” Awsten says unhelpfully. Just because Awsten was talking about Otto, doesn’t mean Jawn was listening. And half the time Awsten was denying liking Otto at all.Jawn looks to Otto, who just shrugs. “I don’t know. Awsten had to say something to me directly before I even realised I liked him like that.” “Awesome, you people are useless.” Jawn sighs. “Should I just ask him? Would that be weird?”“Nah, it’s Geoff. If he’s not interested he’ll let you down gently.” Otto pulls Awsten back into his lap. “It’ll suck, but at least you’ll know.”Jawn doesn’t really want to be let down. It’s easier to pretend none of this is happening, actually, and he and Geoff can be just friends forever. But easier isn’t necessarily good for him and Jawn feels like he might explode if he doesn’t say something.Geoff and Jawn don’t get to spend a lot of time alone together - it’s easy to get rid of Otto for a day but Awsten is like a velcro baby, especially to his best friend. Now that Otto and Awsten are dating, though, it might be easier. They can easily be distracted with each other while Jawn gets up the nerve to tell Geoff he likes him. Of course, nothing in Jawn’s life can ever be that simple. The next time he sees Geoff is at a house party where Awsten has long abandoned him to go make out with Otto somewhere. Jawn is mostly sober this time, but it’s still miserable being alone on a Friday night.“Why is it,” Geoff asks when he appears at Jawn’s side, a beer in each hand, “Whenever I find you alone at a party, you look ready to punch someone.”Jawn huffs, taking a beer from Geoff. It tastes like shit but he needs something to do with his hands before he starts shaking. Despite preparing to get Geoff alone, he didn’t plan for it to go exactly like this and now he’s freaking out a little. “Awsten’s ditched me for Otto again.” Jawn admits. “What is it about getting a boyfriend that makes people abandon their best friends?”“I don’t know. Young love, or something. Not that I would know.” Geoff laughs.“You don’t have a girlfriend?” Jawn asks. That’s probably a good thing to establish before he tries asking him out.“No, I, uh, don’t usually like girls.” Geoff sort of side eyes Jawn like he’s trying to see if his point landed the way he intended it to.“Oh. Me neither.” Jawn says casually, like his heart isn’t going a thousand miles an hour. There are a lot of people at this party but none of them are paying attention to them. They’re safe to talk. “Do you have a boyfriend, then?”“Nope. Do you?” Geoff asks. Jawn shakes his head. He’s getting so anxious that he’s struggling to speak. “Cool.”Jawn stares at Geoff, who stares back at him. All of the scripts that Jawn came up with in his head for this situation didn’t go like this. He has no idea what to say next. Even if he did, his voice is lost to him right now.“I, um… uh… fuck it.” Jawn mutters. He puts one hand on Geoff’s cheek, tilting his face down towards him, before he kisses him on the lips. Geoff drops his beer to grab Jawn’s shoulder instead, his other hand landing on Jawn’s hip. The bottle hits Jawn’s knee before it hits the ground and rolls away, splashing his shoes with cold beer. It should ruin the moment but Jawn is absorbed in the way Geoff’s hands feel on his body and their lips pressed together.When Jawn tries to pull away, Geoff puts their foreheads together and starts to laugh. Jawn giggles along nervously, body buzzing with the excitement of a first kiss. Something new and exciting and sweet and so very Geoff. Clearly Geoff isn’t mad at him for surprise-kissing him, so it’s a step in the right direction.“Is this, uh, like a one time thing, or…?” Geoff asks, sliding his arm around Jawn’s waist.“Um, no. Not if you don’t want it to be. I like you, a lot, and you’ve been so lovely to me but you’re like that with everyone so I didn’t know if you liked me back and-”“Jawn.” Geoff cuts him off with another, quicker kiss. “I like you. I like you a hell of a lot, actually. I’ve been meaning to ask you out for ages but I kept psyching myself out about it.”“For real?” Jawn laughs, pressing his face against Geoff’s collarbone as he nods. “God, we’re both idiots.”“Do you wanna get out of here?” Geoff whispers in Jawn’s ears, like it’s a secret they need to keep. They’ve had the rest of this conversation at full volume without drawing attention but this makes it feel intimate, like it’s just for them. “I didn’t drink anything, we can go get dinner.”“I know, you fucking dropped it all over my shoes.” Jawn realises finally that his Vans are sticking to the carpet slightly. Eugh.“I’ll get you new shoes, babe. Come on, what do you want to eat?”They haven’t decided by the time they get into Geoff’s car, but Jawn finds he doesn’t care. He’s on a date with Geoff , they could go sit in a 7/11 parking lot and he’d be happy.His phone buzzes in his pocket. It’s a text from Awsten, asking where he is.
Jawn: kissed geoff. Going on a date rn
Awsten: YOOOOOOOOO LETS GO
Otto also says “yo lets go” but w/ less enthusiasm
Jawn: i prbly wont be back tn
Awsten: GO BE GAY ILL BE FINE
“Awsten says have fun.” Jawn says, shoving his phone back into his pocket.“Did Awsten know you liked me?” Geoff asks as they drive away from the house.“Of course he did, I told him. He and Otto told me to ask you out.”“Well, of course they did. ‘Cause I told Otto I liked you.”“Turn this car around. I’m gonna kill them.” Jawn demands. They let him be anxious all night about this when they knew Geoff liked him back the whole time. What the hell!Geoff giggles. “It’s okay, honey, I knew they liked each other for weeks before they figured it out and I didn’t say anything. Fairs fair.” “Hmph. Fine.” Jawn shakes his head. “Next time I’ll tell you how I feel as soon as I feel it.”“Sounds good.” Geoff agrees.