Work Text
Achoo! The library’s thermostat had broken down and an uncontrollable string of sneezes left Yuki. He wrapped his arms around himself, shivering violently – oh, how he longed for the warmth again. The unprecedented (not really, Tokyo got quite cold this time of the year but it would knock Yuki out like a truck every single time) cold was yet another villain the universe had stacked against him. With all of the interesting developments this year, he couldn’t keep up with his studies the way he tended to. Of course, he was still in the top three in his class but the piling stress of everything made his brain frizzle into goo and caused him to turn into a thoughtless creature who was now staring at the stages of mitosis. Seriously why do all of these terms sound the same? Chromatin, chromosomes, chromatids, centrosomes - the words were just squiggly lines taunting him, reeking joy in the fact that he had a horribly horribly short amount of time to cover a horribly horribly large amount of content. This was the first time things got so bad. Yuki was responsible. Yuki kept up with his routine. Yuki didn't have any issues that should hinder him. Yet, this still happened. Yet, he still was a failure. Maybe Akito was right, a rat like him couldn't go very far. Kakeru had quickly clocked his cause of stress by some grand divination that was bestowed upon him. “YunYun I’m struggling with this so much,” he bellowed pointing aggressively at his textbook, “Wanna study together?” Yuki wasn’t oblivious. He knew Kakeru was just worried about him because he was kind like that. Now he found himself sitting here. He looked around in defeat. He was seated at the far end of the library surrounded by tall shelves of a mismatched array of books – tall red giants standing next to crumbled-up paperbacks. They felt like a last-minute attempt to fill shelves or the place where the librarian cramps things up when he's too lazy to organise them all. It was quiet. No one else was around him. Why could he not do it? The curse was gone, he was a supposedly normal person now. The insecurities and restrictions that plagued him every day were gone in the blink of an eye. Maybe it was hard to come to terms with after years of Akito’s “education.” He didn’t like that though, he was tired of making excuses for everything. He was free. He had more free time than he ever did before. His shortcomings are his own fault. A sliver of happiness – Tohru, the student council, the curse breaking; all of it rendered him immobile to do anything. Pathetic. A rat like him didn’t know how to handle affection, it wasn’t meant for him. The nuclear envelope is still intact during early prophase, the textbook read. It had been twenty minutes already. Still at the first step of mitosis. Still at the firs- “YunYun!” A cheery voice called out and there he stood: with his messy head of hair, sticking out from unassuming spots; his eyes sparkled with a mixture of excitement and endearment, staring right at him; his hands large and his arms wide open beckoning him to come for a hug; his smile wide and bright like always. Kakeru shone so bright that it hurt but Yuki couldn’t bear to look away, eternally mesmerized. When did he stand up and get in his arms? Yuki wasn’t sure himself but Kakeru’s embrace was warm and engulfing and it was a nice change from the cold of the library. Kakeru held him in a one-arm hug and leaned towards the table, placing down a cup. He brought his other arm and squeezed his waist, his face now stuffed in Yuki’s shoulder. He whispered, “Hello,” His hot breath fanning his neck, his lips barely grazing his skin. Yuki felt light. The hug was shorter than Yuki would like it to be. Kakeru took one look at him and while he sat down, said, “You look like shit, Yun.” “Good to see you too,” he scoffed sarcastically. He stared at him, his eyes raking in Yuki’s frazzled hair and eye bags – Kakeru’s eyes were laced with concern. His hand quickly found its place running his finger through Yuki’s bangs smoothing them out. He leaned into the touch. “I’m being honest man. I’m worried.” Yuki knew Kakeru cared, it was apparent in how he would stay back after council to help Yuki with paperwork. He hated paperwork. He knew Kakeru cared when he would always throw a water bottle at him, knowing full well Yuki was more dehydrated than a dessert. He knew Kakeru cared when he would climb into his room at midnight because Yuki admitted to feeling sad or having a nightmare. He knew Kakeru cared when he always listened to Yuki despite his inability to string his issues into sentences. But it was nice to have him be so upfront about it. Yuki started shivering again when they broke apart. That damn thermostat! Kakeru noticed and threw his jacket on his face and pushed the cup in front of him – hot chocolate. He quickly put it on mainly because the warmth he was able to indulge in from the hug had expired by now but mainly because he wanted to smell Kakeru. Lemongrass and sweat. It felt like another hug. “It’s nothing big. Midterm’s just a bitch.” Kakeru knew that wasn’t just it but knew not to press. Instead, he started chatting about his day so far – Machi came over in the morning for breakfast and company; he made some progress in befriending the crow that would visit his terrace “he even let me feed him from my hands Yuki! We’re practically best friends now. Don’t worry though, you’ll always be my number one.” ; there was a man on the train who spoke with a suspiciously Soviet accent asking him about the revolution. Kakeru was an interesting person. He revelled in his outlandishness. He was loud. He was larger than life. Everything Yuki was not but he never felt jealous of him. Well, not after becoming his friend. Kakeru felt like the final piece in the puzzle of Yuki’s life, a conversation with him made everything fall into place. His stories filled in the silence and crowded out Yuki’s thoughts, his jokes warranted an ugly laugh or a fond eye roll, his eyes put all stars to shame and drew Yuki in. “Yukiii, I'm bored,” he drawled. “Let’s go do something else now. A break.” He added the last part after Yuki threw him an unimpressed look. He sighed, stretching his arms and pushing his textbook aside. “What will we even do?” “That’s for me to know and for you to know. A gentleman takes the liberty to prepare the date.” He winked. Pink dusted his cheeks. He looked away and scoffed, “We’re not dating.” “It’s till death do us apart, YunYun!”
“We are not married.” “You just didn’t read the fine print of the Council President form did you? I’m your right-hand man for eternity.” “Okay, I’m leaving the Council now.” “YunYun! You’re so mean,” he whined. Yuki laughed. “Yun, will you do me the honours of taking the prettiest girl out for a date?” “I will kick you into the sun,” he tried to sound as menacing as he possibly could as if this wasn’t something he said almost every day. Never really fulfilling the threat. (Well, after the first month he stopped.) It didn’t take long for Yuki to succumb to Kakeru’s puppy dog eyes and pout. With Kakeru’s hand around his, he quickly dragged him out of the library. Mitosis be damned. So, he found himself strolling through the bustling streets of Tokyo two weeks before his midterms, his hand still in Kakeru’s “You’re so cold, your hands are like popsicles. I can’t have the princess getting sick.” The city was always packed on Saturdays, with cars angrily honking on the road, desperately trying to get to their destination; families walking around hand-in-hand; highschool couples giggling into each other’s arms; street vendors yelling out “Get your takoyaki while it’s hot!” . Tokyo was a lived-in city and you had to give it that. The endless sheets of snow could not overpower the warmth and the amount of life that was embedded here. What a lovely sight. Too lovely of a sight. Yuki felt like an imposter looking in. The curse was gone but its ugly consequences lingered around. Tokyo was a lived-in city and the problem was that it was home to too many people. In the crowd, his shoulder bumped against one too many people, and he was surrounded by all fronts. His shoulders bunched up to his neck and he had a death grip on Kakeru’s hand, instinctually moving closer. He could tell Kakeru noticed when he instantly wrapped his arm around him, bringing him impossibly close, his fingers rubbing circles into his arm. They stayed like that and by magic, the crowd started to thin out and thin out until he realized Kakeru had taken them away from the markets to the street where he hailed a taxi. Yuki blinked. Lo and behold! Soon a yellow taxi stood in front of them and Kakeru was ushering him inside. Yuki blinked again. The warmth that hit his face was a welcomed change – Tokyo was far too cold. However, he suspects the warmth wasn’t just from the taxi’s thermostat. Kakeru wrapped both of his arms around him, and he stuffed his face into his shirt, exhaling loudly. One of his hands started patting Yuki’s head. For a moment, the world stopped. As cliche as it sounds. Tokyo was no longer, it was just Kakeru and his heart going haywire. Yuki didn’t know if he was imagining but it seemed to skip a beat. It was just Kakeru and his long fingers detangling Yuki’s hair, lightly scratching his scalp. It was just Kakeru and how he said Yuki’s name, not slurring it together but emphasizing each syllable, he said it with purpose. He said it in an unbearably tender voice. Yuki wanted to become one with the earth right now. He was at peace. Life had slowed down for them. Just them. Kakeru started talking. His voice was barely a whisper. “When I was a kid and my parents were being shitty I’d always go to my room and flip through the channels on the TV. For some reason, we didn’t really have a lot of channels so I’d just watch whatever was on and seemed like it would be engaging enough to get me to forget about what was going on.” His eyes looked a bit distant yet warm. He laughed a bit. “It’s a bit silly but I ended up watching a lot of dumb reality TV shows. Stuff like ‘90 Day Fiance’ was my jam. It was insanely stupid but sometimes things just need to be kind of fun, y’know? A little distraction. Something to make you laugh.” He paused and continued. “I think that was one of the few fond memories I had as a child.” That sparked a conversation recalling other tales from their childhood. Kakeru told him how he once got stuck in a tree for a couple of hours. Yuki told him about the time Hatsuharu accidentally dyed his hair green when he was going for black and they desperately tried to fix it somehow. The peaceful conversation (and the taxi) carried them till they were standing outside of Kakeru’s apartment. “It’ll be nicer to study in private,” was the reasoning he gave as he peeled his shoes off and left them in the genkan, running to the sofa where he quickly plopped down. Yuki followed suit. He sat at the edge of the same sofa, Kakeru’s feet poking his thigh. “You’re not going to let me study aren’t you?” He asked slightly amused. “I’m offended Yun. Even after I was so irresistibly charming and chivalrous on our date, you’re still thinking of that.” He stuck his tongue out. Kakeru would say things like that all the time. Things that bordered on flirting. Things that made Yuki’s heart do somersaults. Things that let him dream of the possibility of Kakeru liking him, of Kakeru wanting him just as badly as he did. It was as though his mouth had a mind of its own when he said, in a tone trying too hard to be casual, “Do you do that with all of your friends?” Kakeru’s grin faltered and his eyes widened. “Do what.” “The flattery. The- the a lot of kindness. The ‘dates.’” He didn’t know why he wouldn’t stop, he was barely coherent anyway. This was stupid. He replied in a low and earnest voice, “You’re my best friend Yun. The things I do with you are things I only do with you.” He smiled at him and added, “You’re special to me Yuki.” His face was warm and goosebumps ran down his neck. “You’re special-er. What that’s not a word! I mean special. You’re also special. Of course, you must’ve figured that out. It’s not that hard to put the pieces tog–” A ripple of laughter cut him off. Yuki wasn’t one for waxing poetry but wanted to immortalise his adoration for him. Kakeru was the epitome of beauty and warmth and all that was good in the world and Yuki needed the world to know, he needed future generations to know. The one in question had a dopey smile on his face and giggled, “You’re such an airhead. YunYun.” That ticked Yuki off and he hurled a list of responses at him. Only Kakeru could make him swell up with adoration one moment and make him want to hurl him into the sun, the next. The more Yuki insulted him, the more Kakeru laughed and brought himself closer. And now, Kakeru had his legs on top of Yuki’s and his head was buried in his shoulder. He could feel the ghost of his lips against his neck, if he craned his head slightly, they’d make contact. Yuki could feel every breath that left Kakeru’s lips and it coloured him red. He could feel his legs buzzing in general-Kakeru-restlessness. He could feel his long arms around his chest bringing them impossibly close. Maybe it was the weeks' worth of sleep deprivation or Kakeru’s warm touch that engulfed him whole or maybe it was the fact that they both admitted they were special to each other but he was just comfortable and drowsy. So he was lulled into sleep. Warm and cramped. That was how Yuki woke up. His face was stuffed into the sofa and his back was flushed against a warm body, arms around his waist. A blanket was tucked around them. A familiar hot gush of breaths was felt across the back of his neck. He rustled slightly and the grip around his waist tightened. Yuki let himself be held but he turned around to see the other. Kakeru looked at peace. Long eyelashes grazed his cheek, drool periodically falling out of his pretty, pink, lips that were etched into a small smile. He looked happy. Yuki extended a hand, cupping his cheek, drawing circles across his smooth skin. He let his hand wander, from running through his hair and bringing his head closer to running his finger across his lip, drool slightly coating his finger. Blood rushed to every corner of Yuki’s body. It was at that moment that Kakeru blinked his eyes and groggily smiled, “Morning pretty boy.” His lips moved and momentarily engulfed Yuki’s finger. Yuki blinked back. His hand retracted immediately. He was about to get up when Kakeru pulled him closer and nuzzled against Yuki’s face. They were impossibly close but Yuki wanted to be even closer. “Good morning,” he croaked shakily. “How’s your sleep?” “It-it was nice. What about you?” His heart was running a marathon and holy fuck Kakeru could probably hear it. “Do you do something to your lashes?” He asked, completely ignoring Yuki’s question. “W-what?” This wasn’t what he was expecting. “Like they’re so long. I know you don’t put on any mascara but like you have to do something. Is it a lash serum? I know eyelash curlers are a thing, is it that?” “Huh? I don’t put anything. Why are you being weird?” “Well excuse me for admiring your pretty little face.” For the nth time, Kakeru elicited a full-body freakout from him and he said shakily, “I’m not pretty.” “Oh. My. God. How are you such an airhead? Like how are you so not self-aware? You literally have a fan club. People ask you to join their modelling agencies when we go to the movies. You are literally sculpted by the gods themselves or whatever,” he bemoaned. His hands left Yuki’s waist and cupped his cheeks, shaking him slightly. “No like, that’s not, y’know,” He sputtered, flustered. Kakeru got up and huffed. His back was now against the armrest. Yuki followed suit. “Yuki, I didn’t pine over you for a year for you to be this stupid. Like the not understanding my advances bit, sure, whatever. Like yeah, I get you’re a bit of an airhead and are inexperienced with this stuff but really, you don’t even know this ?” He sounded a mixture of exasperated and fond. “Who would’ve told me trying to win over a princess would be like this.” “I am NOT an airhead. Why are you such a dick!” Yuki was pissed, he thought they were having a moment really, but Kakeru just had to ru- oh. The realization just dawned on him. “Wait. What?! What do you mean? Is this a joke? Who told you about my crush on you??” Kakeru rolled his eyes, a smile plastered across his face. His hands wrapped around his neck and pulled him closer until his lips were pressed against Yuki’s. The movies said it would be like fireworks; like Yuki’s whole world would collapse and re-form; like this would be the part where you roll credits because they got their happy ending. It was so much more than that. The initial shock quickly subsided and turned into enthusiastic fervour. Kakeru was everywhere and was flooding his senses. Kakeru’s chapped lips were against his own, formed into a small grin. His hands were snug around his waist, bringing him impossibly close. Yuki could feel how there was so much more beyond this, this wasn’t the part where you rolled credits because they both had so much to say, to do. He could feel that when they both kept on escalating the kiss, from Kakeru slipping his tongue in his mouth and Yuki eliciting small sounds. Yuki had the world. He had Kakeru. It had been maybe a couple of minutes but he was already addicted to this. His lack of experience was made up by his enthusiasm, paying close attention to what made Kakeru hum in contentment, to what made his heart beat faster (or was it his heart?) He was drowning in Kakeru. Kakeru. Kakeru. It happened just as quickly as it started; Kakeru pulled back. Yuki tried to chase his lips again but the other rested his forehead against his. Yuki was greeted by hazy chocolate eyes, staring at him intently. Laboured breathing filled in the silence. Yuki linked his arms around his neck. “Y’know I had a feeling. You’re so cute YunYun.” “What?” “I had a hunch you liked me back.” “Huh!” His face got even more red than it already was, he wasn’t that obvious, was he? But, that wasn’t the biggest thing on his mind then. “Why didn’t you do something sooner if you knew I liked you?” “I mean, we were practically already dating and I wanted to do it when it felt right. Plus, seeing you all flustered and cute warmed my heart.” “I would NOT get flustered.” “Darling, look at you right now. You’re all red and like, you’ve got those fuck-me eyes. That would be you but more feral.” Yuki weakly punched his shoulder and laughed slightly. This was nice. Kakeru was nice. His eyes were warm and his grin was wide. Yuki couldn’t help but grin back. Oh, how his happiness was contagious. “Shut up and kiss me.” And kiss they did, because the outside world and his textbooks were all forgotten now that he had him. They were a mesh of limbs and ripples of laughter. The world was theirs.
The next day, he didn’t fail his exam. He still went home to enjoy Tohru’s cooking and was greeted by a kiss on the cheek from Kakeru at school. He continued with his student council duties, though they were met with a newfound sense of gratefulness because now he was going home, hand-in-hand with Kakeru. The world did not fall apart from a day of rest. He was still Yuki. Love was not something that would destroy him, something he could never get. He had plenty of it now.