Work Text
2004.
A kid from their senior class, Roy, enlisted the assistance of Steve with his Windows XP computer. He was in the mood, in his after hours, to do some online shopping. There was a bunch of movies he wanted. He said he wanted to “pre-order” it, but that was just the PR answer for him really just wanting to conduct film piracy on some website he went to. His computer wasn’t starting up, so he got Steve to come and help. Roy, clad in a brown beanie and a black hoodie t-shirt over his brown long-sleeve shirt underneath, sat in his raven rotating chair as Steve, clad in a denim jacket and a black tee, stood behind him on his left. “I swear… this thing was on yesterday when I went to that gaming website,” Roy commented. “Just be patient. Perhaps you just need to reactivate your operating system.” “How am I supposed to do that, Steve? I don’t have the OS discs; you know?” “Don’t worry, I have one in my backpack.” Roy faced Steve. “In case of emergency. I always prepare for the worst around machines.” “A healthy philosophy to adopt, I presume.” “Given your circumstance, I find sarcasm unfounded.” “Oh, it wasn’t.” “Then what was with the tone?” “What tone?” “The tone you just used. Gushing with disdain.” “Come on, dude. Apathy is my game. So is my ‘pre-ordering’ that you know about.” “And that’s why you pick out my lunch during recess.” “You have odd payback methods, I must say,” Roy joked. “Well, I’m not a supervillain, Roy. I’m altruistic.” “Why haven’t your turned me in yet to the authorities?” “Hey, you keep this up, someone will. I’m no accomplice, but I am not the judge, jury and executioner when it comes to crime. I am just a kid looking to get into UCLA.” “Get in line.” Roy remembered, “Say, is that hot chick you always buzz around also going to UCLA.” “Which chick? Sharon?” Roy scoffed. “No, she’s a skeeve. I mean Natasha.” “You mean Natasha? She’s your friend too, man. Stop being so silly.” “Dude, you’ve been best friends with her since you were both six. That was way before her Goth phase. You should be all up in that, man. Ask yourself, what would Freddie Prinze, Jr. do?” Steve laughed. “I’m not Freddie Prinze, Jr., I never get the girls, remember?” Now, Roy laughed. “What?” “You ain’t got no game, Steve. That’s your biggest downfall. Yeah, you can be around Natasha and be cool, but that’s just one girl. Do you have any idea what the statistics are for young guys getting laid at prom?” Steve sighed. “Enough with the stats, Roy. I am not living my high school life to get laid.” “The more time you spend seeking UCLA, the less you’re gonna enjoy high school. These are the golden years, man. Don’t waste your time.” Roy fell back against his chair. “Don’t waste your time like I am with waiting for this fucking computer to boot. LOAD, GOD DAMMIT!”
The computer’s loading screen remained a stagnant stream of the three blue bars just moving from left to right and then again and again for all infinity, as it seemed. Roy was losing his patience. Steve eventually succumbed to pleading.
“Please Windows XP! Just load already!” Steve bemoaned with feigned crying, “What do I gotta do? What do I gotta do?” Roy asked, “Should I reboot this dumb thing again?” “What do you think?” “I think I wanna throw it out of the window, but Principal Hayward might suspend me again.” “Is that a problem?” “Not really, but I really can’t stand my mother’s shrill. You’ve heard it, right?” Steve chuckled. “Yeah, don’t remind me.” “Why do you think my father has chronic tension headaches?” “Stress? I mean, he is aggressively political.” “Yeah, yeah, my dad can’t take a chill pill, but my mom gives him the headaches. It’s why I spent my last summer at Kyle’s house.” “All three months? Man, what the heck were you doing there for that long?” “His college sister.” “Stephanie?” Steve was shocked. Roy nodded. “Stephanie? The blonde girl with the big–” Roy nodded. Steve asked again, “Her? Stephanie?” “Why are you so surprised? I got game.” “And what is your game?” “Steve, girls like a bad boy. I conduct illegal DVD deals online. That’s on my dating resume. I add endless detachment to it and forget about it. I find out that Amy likes Shrek and Legally Blonde and I get signed copies under the table by Cameron Diaz and Reese Witherspoon respectively. Life’s not hard if you’re not chasing a happily ever after. Go for the pinheads and you got a good deal. I’m saving my serious years for when Jessica Biel is single someday when I turn 30.” Roy continued talking, but let’s face it, he was just consuming oxygen at this point. Steve zoned out of Roy’s nonsensical talk much more efficiently once he spotted Natasha enter Roy’s compartment in the school’s computer lab.
She had carried her backpack but placed it on the ground now. Steve felt her presence and turned her way. They locked eyes, saying no words because of what happened last weekend. They haven’t spoken since. Or even hung out, which was uncharacteristic for them both because, well, they were both loners that stuck together (alongside five other loners in their friendship ring, which, sadly, included Roy). In her black shirt, black pleated skirt, black necklace and black hi-top sneakers, Natasha stood at the door. Her lips were decorated with a deep red shade of lipstick and her fringe hairstyle was worn in a pigtails updo. She dyed her hair raven to oppose her natural blonde tint. A nonconformist. Well, she was reborn as one once puberty hit. Natasha also buttoned down her shirt a bit to rent a display of her black bra to… well, Steve, it seemed. She was buttoned up all day through today.
They said nothing. Steve had that look on his face that Natasha expected. Roy was swearing at his computer screen. Roy said something to Steve, but he didn’t respond. Roy then turned to his right and saw her at the door. “Natasha, hey. What are you doing here at this hour? You still playing with Bruce’s test tubes?” Roy joked and was the only one laughing. Steve and Natasha weren’t. Natasha, fixing her eyes onto Steve’s persistently, responded, “Just came to see Steve.” Roy then saw his computer desktop load. “YES! HALLE-FUCKING-LUJAH! IT LOADED!” He raised his two fists up and cackled happily. Steve chuckled too and the two of them shook hands to celebrate the triumph. “Now, get an updated antivirus and make sure you block the malware that comes from those websites you get into. Unnecessary traffic makes loading all the stuff on this computer take longer. In fact, it also protects it from harmful software that gets installed maliciously onto your machine.” “Hey, I’m just happy it loaded. If it never loads again, I brought my flash drive to back this shit up. Just gotta order a few more DVDs online.” “I can come back another time, if…” Natasha began to suggest, collecting her backpack from the ground. “Oh, um… no need,” Steve interjected.
Roy chuckled. “Yes! Internet Explorer loads!” “We’re not exactly doing anything life and death here.” “I can access some other backdoor alleys for you, Natasha. I know you’ve been struggling to get that Evanescence album again that you like so much,” Roy offered. “You can get that?” “Sure. It’ll be on MP3, so… I’ll have to send it to your mail address.” “Thanks Roy. I am not driving all the way to the Amoeba in San Francisco just to get a copy. It’s like every store around here has Fallen sold out. Not to mention that Katie stole my CD and never gave it back.” Roy murmured, “That bitch. Okay, Natasha, what’s your email address?” Instead, Steve answered, “[email protected].”
She smiled. “You know it by heart?” Steve, behaving forcefully nonchalant, looked at the computer screen again, saying, “I just memorized it for no reason.” Roy’s eyes looked to his left at Steve and then to his right at Natasha. He had a smug look on his face, ready to connive something. “Natasha, why don’t you join us?” Steve gave him a look. “It’ll be fun. Not as fun as having a Budweiser, but fun.” “Is that okay, Steve?”
Again, to be forcefully detached, he looked to the screen and said, “It’s a free country.” She joined on Roy’s right. “Steve, you still have those Flash games I sent you?” “I do, but Bucky has better ones.” “Yeah, yeah, Bucky and his rich lifestyle. Not all of us can afford Apple computers like that top 1% rich boy. Did you hear that he has QuickTime?” “It comes with Apple, of course,” Steve responded. “I’ve read about it but I’ve never seen it before my eyes. That’s total injustice, man.” “I just don’t understand how a guy like you who’s so into computers didn’t think about booting your machine in safe mode,” Natasha said to Roy. Both Steve and Roy looked to her with surprise. “You know about computers?” Roy asked. “No, I just pay attention in class,” Natasha bit back with folded arms. “Ooh, and the gloves come off. Touché, Natasha,” Roy chuckled off. Steve asked, “Can I also download a song?” “No!” Roy shifted his keyboard under his arms to shield it from him. “No, I am not gonna lend you my machine to download Lighthouse Family again!” Natasha laughed. “Screw you, man! Lighthouse Family rocks!” “No, they don’t. They’re for old people and for very long drives through the countryside, which, we aren’t living in. I like you, Steve, but you’ve got some shitty taste in music.” Natasha quizzed, “Roy, let him download the song. It’s his business, not yours.” “Uh, actually, it is. Last time, I got the IT guys to come update my Internet Explorer, which means to show me how to do it, and they saw my search history. Illegal websites were not their concern.” “Meaning you paid for their silence,” Natasha knew. “Okay, yeah, I did. They laughed at me. When I told them my friend downloaded it, they didn’t believe me.” “Why don’t you just delete your own browser history, Roy? It’s simple.” “I was trying to, but the software crashed, which is why I called the IT guys. Keep up, Steve!” Roy scolded. “Fine, fine,” Steve conceded. “You need to listen to guys like Aphex Twin and The Notwist. They rock.” Natasha folded her arms. “Don’t be so hard on Steve. At least he’s not into Christina Aguilera.” “There’s nothing wrong with listening to Christina Aguilera. Granted, it’s not for me, but she’s alright.” “Yeah, you don’t listen to her because you’re not a popular teenage girl, Steve.” Roy looked to Natasha and Steve. He added, “Neither of us are.” Natasha chuckled.
Roy was clicking on his mouse. “Add to cart… add to cart… download… download…”Steve commented, “They even have books on this website. I didn’t even see that.” Natasha smiled. Roy teased Steve. “What are you in the mood for? Jane Austen?” Again, Natasha laughed, looking at Steve. He sighed, responding to Roy, “Make fun all you want, but Jane Austen is a legend. You might learn a thing or two from her books.” “Okay, Mr. Darcy,” Roy muttered and looked at his computer again. He sighed again. “Let me check my chatroom. See if Derek is online.” “Isn’t he always?” Natasha asked. Roy admitted, “I was being futile.” “I should check out this website. I might become an enemy to the government, but I’ll run the risk,” Natasha spoke. “You should. ASAP. Do it before they take it down again like they did Napster.” Natasha leaned closer to the chatroom displayed on his screen. “Roy, go back. Go back up.” Roy scrolled his mouse. “There, stop.” He did. Natasha gazed. “Is that a pic of you bare chested, Steve?” “We were sharing images. It’s a long story,” Steve explained.
Natasha kept looking. Roy saw her do this and failed to suppress his delighted chuckle. He looked to them both, saying. “I love you two together so much. Romanogers for life, heh?” They both turned to view Roy grinning like a Cheshire cat. “Heh?”
“Roy, don’t you think it’s time you start puberty like the rest of us?” Natasha asked. “Come on, in my defence, I’ve been rooting for you two to get together since we were in third grade.” Roy’s computer made a notification sound. Mail. Roy clicked on it. “It’s Derek.” Roy read, “‘Got your DVDs. Meet at the diner tomorrow. Six sharp. Bring doubloons.’” Roy was confused. “‘Doubloons’? Who uses that word these days?” “Well, Derek’s a senior too from Westmount High,” Steve linked. “I heard they’re learning Moby Dick there.” “A sinfully long book,” Natasha berated. “Right up there with The Brothers Karamazov and Don Quixote.” “It literally took half of my life to finish Don Quixote,” Steve admitted. “Books are lame. I’ll rather spend my time watching Daria. And, hanging out with the real life Daria over here,” Roy joked in reference to Natasha. “I’m not even listening to you anymore, Roy. You talk way too much and this entire conversation is going nowhere,” Natasha said, leaning forward and seizing control over the mouse to scroll back up in the chatroom conversational string to get to Steve’s bare chested image again.
“How do you zoom, Roy?” Natasha asked.
Roy laughed. Steve looked to Natasha with confusion. “Okay, I am just gonna go home and window shop there. The Internet filters are less conservative here at school than they are at home. I have to use this MSI package I got from Derek to access the blocked parts of my Internet Explorer at home. I’ll go the distance just to leave you two kids together.” Roy collected his backpack and, on his way, added, “I’ll recommend that you take a picture of it on your Motorola, Natasha.” Right before exiting, he turned his head back at them smugly and joked, “It’ll last longer…” He vanished from sight.
“I have one question. Why?” “Why what? Why are we friends with Roy or why as in… why?” “Both, but… more the second why,” Steve answered. Natasha walked towards him, slowly grabbing his jacket by its collar and kissing him. Steve broke it off immediately, wriggling away from her and asking, “Wha-what the hell are you doing? Why… why are you doing this? Why are you doing this to me again? Why do you keep doing this?” “Steve…” “Nat, no. I am not…” he pointed to the computer, “…I am not one of these.” Her eyebrows furrowed, looking at the computer screen. “A computer?” “An item… on a shelf for you to gawk at and help yourself to. For the past few months, you’ve just been putting me in your shopping cart and then just right back on the shelf. I am not an item on your draft shopping list. You cannot window shop with me. I am a household item. Something that stays permanently in… in your… fridge?” Steve knew his analogy was falling apart. Natasha understood what he was trying to say and maybe took it more seriously than he was. Steve shook his head. “Look, I like you. I’ve liked you for a while, and… a part of me thinks a part of you knew that all along. But… using me to occupy your time whilst you frolic with Bruce, the Scholastic Decathlon champion. Keep this up, and that’s it for us hanging out in general.” “You’re right.” Steve waited for an elaboration. Maybe she just paused for dramatic effect. “You’re right, I should never have played with your heart. Especially because…” “Because what?” “Especially because it’s not Bruce that I want. It’s you.” Steve’s lips parted as his heart rate increased a bit. She folded her arms. “I’ve got… things… going on with me. I’m certainly not perfect. I really am still finding myself. We all are. I do know one thing. You’ve been in my life since forever. Well, you and Roy. I don’t want it to end, and… I… I just can’t get you out of my mind.” Steve understood what she said, nodded, and looked to his left as he placed his hands on his hips. He sighed, viewing her again. “Now what?” Natasha smiled and moved towards Steve, cupping his face with her hands and kissing him. Steve reciprocated by hugging her during the effort. Their lips parted, but kept pecking one another’s. Natasha queried, “You really that into me?” Steve nodded. “More than I am into Lighthouse Family.” She laughed. “Can I call you sometime or… or take you out?” “I’d love that.” “W-we can go to the beach.” Natasha lewdly smirked, coyly teasing, “You’ll get to see me in a bikini on our third date, Steve. For now, I’m more in the mood to go window shopping…” Her eyebrow raised. Steve laughed, craning his head with his eyes closed as he engaged in his spirited response. “Am I always the butt of jokes to everyone?” “Yes, you are,” Natasha confirmed. “Cool. Just checking. At least the universe still makes sense, right?” Natasha looked at his lips, saying, “It makes more sense to me now than ever before…” She kissed him again.