Work Text
four years ago, the world lost some of its most precious gems.
four years ago, a lot of people’s worlds came crashing down.
and the one who took the brunt of the impact lost it all, his role-models, the people who made him who he is -or used to be-, his brothers. And all that was left behind was a lost boy who had to wear the mask of an adult.
⋯
the once popular name that would always be trending and in headlines, was now close to forgotten, no one talked about the name anymore, most people forgot and moved on, and those who didn’t just stored the memories in their hearts because no one cared.
news channels had found new targets to get their views and money, there was no need to continue to repeat a lost cause, a name nobody even thought about anymore.
afterall, to the media, it had just been another boyband, hadn’t it?
their fans just mourned in quiet, some moved on to other bands, some stayed, talking about the seven, occasionally listening to their songs, chatting on twitter, just being there because they had made a promise when they joined the fandom, they are never leaving. and there was no reason to leave anyway, the magic shop was a safe place for them. a place of comfort, a second home.
and the name jeon jeongguk was forgotten, immediately after his last concert, the kmedia had been strictly told not to go near him and not to write anything about him, they’d gotten the police and law involved, all so that the boy could have his privacy as he stepped away from the idol life.
⋯
after his last concert, he stayed with his parents in busan for a week, after which he bought a small apartment in a fairly nice neighborhood, just about a thirty-minute drive from his parents’ house.
the neighborhood was pretty big, on one side of the area were apartment complexes while on the other side there were a few bungalows and duplexes, and in the center was a large plot of land, a garden or park, if you will.
during the afternoon and early morning, the neighborhood was quiet and peaceful, but as soon as the hour hand reached five or six, there would be playful shouts and giggles as children came out of their houses and played in the park.
jeongguk mostly stayed cooped up inside his apartment for the first few months when he moved there, to make ends meet, he would occasionally go to the bighit building and help out behind the scenes, sometimes as a camera assistant, sometimes he’d suggest choreography or sometimes, when he’d run into sejin, he’d mentor the new trainees, teaching them the quirks
and giving them tips.
after a few months of staying in his apartment, jeongguk grew tired of sitting around all day, doing nothing but staring at photos of him and his hyungs or scribbling random lyrics throughout the day or making new music or drawing or watching netflix or cooking up new and weird dishes. so, after thinking it through, jeongguk got up from his desk, picked up his phone and earphones, pulled up his hood to cover his face -a precaution he took just in case some people weren’t smart enough- and walked out of his door, locking it behind him.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
jeongguk went to the park and sat down on a random bench, he pulled out his phone and put in his earphones, leaned forward and began scrolling through instagram.
the recommendations he got were related to art, music, cooking and dance, he was mindlessly scrolling when suddenly a post caught his eye. his breath hitched as he looked at the post, it was a video compilation of the funniest and best moments of run bts.
jeongguk closed instagram and -as if his brain was on autopilot- he started watching a random run bts episode, a soft smile made its way to his lips and his eyes filled up with tears as he watched his hyungs and him fooling around on camera.
halfway through the video, jeongguk noticed some commotion around him so he slightly looked up from his phone and saw that there were some kids playing tag near the bench he was sitting on. not giving it much thought, he returned his focus to his phone.
a few minutes later, there was a tapping on his shoulder. jeongguk raised his eyes from his phone, quickly pulled his hood down and looked forward, only to see a gathering of six kids standing in front of him.
“are you new here, hyung?” one of the kids asked.
“i- y-yes?” jeongguk responded, a bit shocked and surprised since this was the first time he was talking to any of the residents of his neighborhood and it’d been probably two days since he talked to
anyone
for that matter. after losing his hyungs, jeongguk didn’t find it necessary to talk much with anyone, he only spoke when he was spoken to and resorted to keeping quiet most of the time.
“see! i told you he was new here!” another kid exclaimed to one of the other kids.
“where do you live, hyung? in the apartments or the bungalows?” the first kid asked.
“uh… the apartments…?” jeongguk answered.
“that’s cool! I live in the apartments too!” a kid spoke up, “my name’s hanseok!” the kid, hanseok, introduced with a smile, “which block do you live in? maybe we share the same block!”
“i-i… live in block A.” jeongguk replied, he had no clue why he was telling his address to these random kids but what’s the worst these kids could do?
“so we do share the same block!” hanseok beamed.
“are you watching those cool bangtan hyungs?” Another kid asked, climbing the bench and peeking over jeongguk’s shoulder.
“ooh! bangtan hyungs! my hyung’s best friend loves them!” one of the kids added.
“they are so awesome!” another kid added.
“they dance so well!” hanseok joined in.
the kids went on and on about how much they admired bangtan, all the while, jeongguk and one of the kids remained silent.
“you like them?” jeongguk asked.
“yes! they’re the best!” hanseok exclaimed.
“how old are you all?” jeongguk questioned.
“seven!” the kids announced in unison proudly.
“oh right! we forgot to introduce ourselves!” one of the kids spoke.
“go first!” another kid urged to the one who had made the realization.
“alright, alright. my name is seokwon!”
“and my name is yoohan!”
“joohyuk.”
“nice to meet you, hyung, my name is jiwon!” the boy seemed a bit familiar to jeongguk, but he couldn't figure out why.
“the name’s tehan.”
“you already know my name!” hanseok spoke.
jeongguk smiled a little.
“what’s your name, hyung?” seokwon asked.
“jeongguk.” the twenty-six year old replied.
“that name seems familiar…” jiwon mumbled.
“it’s a common name, that’s why.” jeongguk told him.
“yeah, i guess.” jiwon shrugged.
“anyways! can we watch run bts with you?” tehan asked.
“sure.” jeongguk spoke, sitting in the middle of the bench as the kids surrounded him.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
jeongguk sat with the six kids, watching run bts episodes.
“hyung.” tehan spoke up suddenly.
“yes?” jeongguk asked.
“why are you wearing that hood and hiding your face?” tehan asked.
“uh… i… have this skin condition where i can’t have my face outside, the dust particles in the air make my skin go red and itchy.” jeongguk lied.
“ooh.” the boy responded, going back to watching the video playing on jeongguk’s phone.
after a while, jeongguk decided that the kids had watched enough run bts and turned off his phone.
“my hyung’s best friend noona said that they stopped being a band.” joonhyuk spoke.
“really?” yoohan responded, “why’d they do that? they’re the coolest people on earth! why’d they stop?” he questioned.
joonhyuk shrugged, “it’s a sensitive topic for noona, she doesn’t talk much about them anymore.”
“one of my noona’s friends was also a big fan of them.” hanseok joined in, “but that hyung doesn’t speak about bangtan hyungs anymore.”
“jeongguk hyung! do you know why they stopped being a band?” tehan asked.
“hey, jiwonie, why are you so quiet?” seokwon spoke suddenly, nudging the other boy.
“wh- no reason.” jiwon replied, staring at his shoes.
“jeongguk hyung! do you know?” joonhyuk asked.
“i- yes…” jeongguk mumbled.
“why’d they stop being a band? are they not friends anymore?” tehan asked.
“no, it was because the youngest was an idiot.” jeongguk spoke through gritted teeth, clenching his fists as he thought about all the things he could’ve done back then to prevent the accident but was too panicked to do anything other than crying for his hyungs, “he was an idiot and a coward.” he added.
“i don’t think so!” yoohan protested, “the youngest hyung seems to be so nice and smart too!”
“not everything you see on the internet is real.” jeongguk replied.
“you’re saying that it was the youngest hyung’s fault?” jiwon asked.
“it was.” jeongguk nodded.
“but-”
“whatever anyone else told you is wrong.” jeongguk cut jiwon off.
“how are you so sure that it’s the youngest hyung’s fault?” seokwon questioned.
‘because i am him. and if i hadn’t been such a coward, things would’ve been better right now.’ jeongguk thought bitterly, ‘i would’ve still had my hyungs with me.’ he felt small tears build up in the corners of his eyes at that thought, “because i just do.” he replied, “shouldn’t you trust the adults?”
“but the youngest hyu-”
“jiwon!” someone called out.
jeongguk raised his head slightly to look at the approaching person while hiding his face with the hood.
“samchon!” jiwon called out back, smiling as he ran into the other man’s embrace.
“did you have fun with your friends today?” the man asked.
jeongguk immediately recognised the man, it was jimin’s younger brother, jihyun.
now he understood why jiwon looked so familiar, he must be jimin’s cousin’s son.
“who’s this?” jihyun asked, raising an eyebrow as he saw a hooded figure sitting on the bench with the kids.
“this is jeongguk hyung! he’s new to our neighborhood!” hanseok introduced.
“oh?” jihyun spoke, “well, nice to meet you, jeongguk.” the man smiled, holding a hand out for a handshake.
jeongguk hesitantly put forward his left hand to accept the handshake, “l-likewise.” he stuttered, while he might’ve been good at speaking with kids, he was still a bit anxious when it came to talking to people around his age, especially when the person he was talking to was one of his hyung’s relatives.
“pardon me if i’m intruding, but your name seems quite familiar, hav-”
“it’s because his name is very common, samchon!” jiwon answered, cutting off jihyun, “i already asked him!”
“i see.” jihyun smiled at his nephew.
“jihyun hyung! do you know why bangtan stopped being a band?” tehan asked.
“w-where’d that come from?” jihyun asked, startled, clearly he would do anything but talk about anything related to the band, it was like scratching open old wounds.
“we watched run bts videos with jeongguk hyung!” hanseok answered.
jeongguk winced internally, if the kids spoke anything more, jihyun would surely figure out who he was.
“jeongguk hyung said it was the youngest bangtan hyung’s fault! is that true?” joonhyuk asked.
“that’s not true.” jihyun replied, jeongguk saw him clenching his fists tightly, “it wasn’t any of the seven’s fault.”
“but jeongguk hyung said-”
“he said wrong. he knows nothing. don’t listen to him.” jihyun grit his teeth, glaring at the hooded figure.
“i was just saying-” jeongguk shrugged, “th-”
“keep whatever you were saying to yourself! don’t spread false things and hatred among kids.” jihyun interrupted, “don’t you dare speak on that matter ever again! not when you don’t know a single thing that happened!”
“okay…” jeongguk mumbled in a weak voice as he tried to make himself smaller.
“come on kids, let’s go eat ice cream. don’t go near this man.” jihyun ordered, taking the six kids away.
jeongguk curled up into a ball on the bench as he began sobbing, too many memories coming at him and hitting him like a truck.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
the next morning, jeongguk got a call from sejin, urging him to come to the company building for a while to mentor the trainees and new idols.
despite not feeling well because of what happened the day prior with the kids and jimin’s younger brother, but jeongguk decided to go to the company because he did need the money.
⋯
with a sigh, jeongguk walked in through the massive doors of the hybe building. After the ‘incident’ four years ago, the whole company had a massive rebrand to ‘hybe corporation’ because army had organized a tribute project for the six boys, which got them a lot of billboard number 1’s, a few tribute awards from award shows and a whole lot of money, because army had bought a lot of merch and albums.
not knowing what to do with the money since jeongguk and the member’s families refused to take it, they decided to rebrand the company and build a better building.
“jeongguk-ah! there you are!” sejin called out, rushing towards the boy and giving him a quick hug.
jeongguk reciprocated the hug with not much emotion, sejin frowned a little but shook it off as he’d slowly gotten used to it. the younger boy had been like that since he lost his hyungs. too afraid to get too attached to anyone, in fear of losing them. and since grief had not yet let go of jeongguk, the boy hadn’t shown much emotion in the past four years.
“what did you need me for, sejin hyung?” jeongguk asked in a flat tone.
“well, one of the relatively older groups have run into a few issues, and since-”
“ah, jeongguk! it’s great that you were able to come.” another voice spoke, cutting sejin off. jeongguk noticed a man walking out of the elevator and walking up behind sejin.
“i was speaking, hui-”
“you’re quite experienced in this industry, aren’t you?” the man questioned.
jeongguk found the man to be quite rude, but nonetheless, he gave a meek nod.
“hui, i was speaking, can you
not
cut me off for one second?” sejin scolded and then the manager turned to jeongguk, “gguk-ah, this is hui-chul, the manager of the group you’ll be advising today.”
“pleasure to meet you, mr.golden voice.” hui-chul joked, holding out a hand for a handshake. his right hand.
jeongguk hesitantly held out his right hand for the handshake.
hui-chul instantly lifted the boy’s hand and inspected it, “that’s a whole lot of tattoos, when did you get them?” the man questioned in an intrusive way.
“i-uh…” jeongguk stuttered, hanging his head and staring at his right hand, the word ‘army’ spelled out on his knuckles, the ‘a’ resembling an upside down ‘v’ to characterize his youngest hyung, the letters ‘r’ and ‘m’ together to represent his leader hyung, the ‘j’ on his ring finger to depict his sunshine hyung and oldest hyung, the ‘j’ and ‘m’ aligning each other to portray his angel hyung and lastly, the letters ‘m’ and ‘y’ to represent the hyung that would never scold him.
the tattoo brought so many memories back that he wanted nothing more than to cry.
sejin patted his back in sympathy, “let’s just get to the point, yeah?”
“alright, so, basically, the group i manage, txt, you’ve met them, right?” hui-chul inquired.
jeongguk shook his head, even if he’d met them his brain had probably forgotten because it had been so drowned in grief -it still was.
“well, come on, let’s get you all introduced so you can advise them.” hui-chul urged, grabbing the boy in a tight hold and dragging him to the elevator.
jeongguk looked at sejin with a pleading and confused look in his eyes.
“you want me to come?” sejin asked.
jeongguk nodded.
“alright, i suppose i can tag along.” sejin shrugged, walking along the boy and swiftly freeing jeongguk’s arm from hui-chul’s hold, sensing the boy’s discomfort.
“sejin-ssi.” hui-chul turned to sejin with a tight, forced smile after entering the elevator, “this is a matter about my group, i think it’d be okay if i took jeongguk-ssi there alone, right?” hui-chul spoke, turning to jeongguk.
jeongguk frantically shook his head. something about this manager was making him uncomfortable. first, hui-chul was rude to sejin and then, he pointed out his tattoos in a rude way and made him feel like crying. there was no way this man was good.
sejin seemed to notice as he moved to gently pat jeongguk’s shoulder, “jeongguk here is a bit anxious with new people, so it’s best if i come along, don’t worry, i won’t survey your work.” the man reassured.
hui-chul sighed, slumping his shoulders.
the elevator doors opened up soon after and they walked out.
“i’ll just go and prepare the boys, we don’t want them freaking out.” hui-chul let out an awkward chuckle and walked into a practice room.
a few minutes later, hui-chul stepped out of the room and practically pushed jeongguk into the room.
“jeongguk sunbaenim!” a chorus of voices went through the room.
“uh… hi?” jeongguk spoke awkwardly, not knowing what to do.
“how are you doing today?” one of the boys asked. jeongguk squints at the boy, finding him familiar, and that’s when he remembers them, he’s met them quite a lot of times, helped them out for choreographies and vocal practices.
“i-i’m doing fine, how about you guys?” jeongguk replied.
“it’s kind of a rough time right now…” another boy replies, his name was soobin, jeongguk guessed.
“what’s going on?” jeongguk frowned.
“hate…” a boy jeongguk remembered as yeonjun replied.
“ah.” jeongguk exhaled, he’d been there before, getting hate and death threats had become a regular thing for him and his hyungs.
“how’d you get through it, sunbaenim?” heuning kai asked, “it’s so hurtful, and the death threats scare me the most, i keep thinking about them, especially the ones about the hyungs.”
“you’re the maknae?” jeongguk questioned. heuning kai nodded.
jeongguk could understand the boy’s thought progress, he’d been in heuning kai’s shoes once, getting worried over the death threats that would be sent to his hyungs, panicking and crying because he didn’t know what he’d do if his hyungs would get hurt.
“then…” jeongguk began, doubting if he should speak about his memories with his hyungs, a topic he desperately avoided because he’d be a mess immediately after talking. but he was here to give advice and he supposed that what he’d say next could be considered advice.
“please, cherish your hyungs, yeah?” jeongguk said, closing his eyes as the fun times he’d had with his hyungs flashed in front of his eyes.
“be good to them, don’t give them a hard time,” he gulped back tears, “d-don’t freak out in tough situations, be strong… d-don’t be weak…a-and scared, work smartly, if you’re ever stuck in a situation, just listen to your hyungs and keep the panicking for later… please.”
“okay, sunbaenim, i’ll try my best.” heuning kai nodded dutifully.
jeongguk quickly took a deep breath and composed himself, “as for death threats, does your manager and pd-nim know?” he asked.
“yeah, we tell them immediately.” beomgyu answered.
“they’ll up the security, they always do. just don’t… make the mistake of leaving without security. never do that. even if you want a break from the hectic schedule, don’t leave without at least one or two bodyguards.” jeongguk spoke.
“don’t take the things they say online to heart, most of them know nothing about your potential.” jeongguk advised, “just ignore them and do your best, prove it to them.”
the five boys nodded in understanding.
“okay! thank you, sunbaenim.” they chorused, bowing.
jeongguk bowed back and then left the room.
⋯
on his way back home, jeongguk couldn’t help but think of a topic in specific.
death threats
.
and suddenly, something sparked in his memory.
four years ago, during their love yourself world tour, all seven of them had gotten death threats, and if he remembered correctly, the last of the death threats had been received back when they were in japan, two months before the ‘incident’ happened.
but something didn’t sit right with jeongguk, because he had a very vivid memory of the threatener’s profile photo,
a picture of a truck.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
jeongguk was sitting in front of his computer screen, scouring through thousands of twitter profiles, he was determined on finding out the death-threat account from four years ago. this was the closest he had been to figuring out who actually caused the accident and took his hyungs away from him, and he wanted to find the person as soon as possible so he could get his revenge.
as he was scrolling through his computer, he heard a knock on his door, but he dismissed it as someone accidentally knocking -probably got the wrong apartment number or something- because he knew that no one would be coming to meet him, at least not unannounced, his hyungs were the only ones who did that, and he hadn’t even ordered anything, so he was sure that getting up and opening the door was not worth the time and effort.
the knocking remained incessant, jeongguk ignored it again, assuming it was some kids playing a prank. but still, the knocking continued.
with a sigh, jeongguk got up from his chair, tugged his hoodie’s hood down, making sure his face was not visible, he also pulled the right sleeve down, covering his tattoo. and then walked up to the main door and cracked the door open.
there, in front of his door were six kids and a man -jimin’s younger brother and those kids from the day prior.
“uhm… hi?” jihyun spoke.
“h-hello?” jeongguk responded.
“we… uhm, jus-”
“samchon felt bad about yelling at you yesterday so he wanted to drop by and apologise and we decided to come along because you’re cool!” jiwon explained, cutting jihyun off.
“yeah. that. i’m sorry about yesterday, it’s just that its a sensitive topic for me so…” jihyun trailed off, nervously fidgeting with his fingers.
jeongguk knew that he should probably do something because jihyun most definitely did not want to unpack his trauma out in the hallways of an apartment building.
‘think, gguk, think. what would hyungs do in this situation?’ he racked his brain and eventually came up with a solution.
“oh… uhm, would you like to come in?” jeongguk offered, opening the door properly.
“no, i mean, we wouldn’t want to invade, and it seems like you’re busy…”jihyun replied.
“no, no, i wasn’t busy. you can come in, i-if you want to, that is.” jeongguk spoke.
“ooh! can we go, hyung? can we, can we?” hanseok asked in excitement.
jihyun sighed and looked at jeongguk with an apologetic smile, jeongguk slightly nodded his head in understanding and stepped to the side, letting the six boys and jihyun enter his apartment.
“sorry about the lighting and the mess…” jeongguk apologised as he quickly picked up a few papers that were lying here and there in the living room. then, he went up to one of the walls and flicked on a switch, a small, dull floor-lamp kept beside the television lit up, there wasn’t much lighting in jeongguk’s house, mostly just dull floor lamps scattered here and there.
“it’s alright.” jihyun spoke.
“hyung. why do you live in darkness?” tehan interrogated.
“uh… i just couldn’t be bothered with buying lightings for my house, i mostly just stay outside at my workplace.” jeongguk replied, he knew it was a lie, he’d never spent much on lighting because initially, he had just planned on staying cooped up in his room all day long, drowning in grief and loneliness.
“would you like tea or coffee?” jeongguk asked, gesturing for the seven people to have a seat.
“water’s fine.” jihyun replied.
“alright.” jeongguk nodded, walking to his kitchen.
he returned a few minutes later and handed jihyun a glass of water and plastic cups to the six kids.
as he was holding the tray, jiwon suddenly perked up but then sat back down on the couch.
“as i was saying,” jihyun began as jeongguk sat down as well, “i’m really sorry about yelling at you earlier, it’s just that… one of them, j-jimin, was my older brother, and i just… don’t like it when people talk about the topic in the wrong way.” he explained, “i don’t know what you’ve been told, but it wasn’t the youngest’s fault, okay? it was the truck driver’s fault.”
jeongguk gave a small nod.
“i’m sorry for teaching wrong things to the kids, i just told them what i thought was true.” jeongguk spoke.
“i get that.” jihyun responded, silence settled in the room for a while, but it was broken by jihyun, “if you don’t mind me asking, why do you wear your hood so low? it hides your face. and why do you keep your right hand hidden under your sleeves? i noticed it yesterday as well.” he asked.
“oh uh…” jeongguk trailed off, trying to think of a valid lie and excuse, “my old house caught on fire when i was younger and i got some burns on my face and right hand, and then later i also developed an allergy towards dust, my skin goes red and itchy when it comes in contact with too much dust, and i’ve been advised to keep my face and right hand covered because the itchiness might irritate the burns.” he lied.
“oh. are the burns not healed yet?” jihyun asked.
“they are, but the doctors don’t want me to risk it.” jeongguk replied.
“probably for the best.” jihyun nodded, and then looked at the clock mounted up on the wall.
“the clock doesn’t work…” jeongguk told him.
“oh okay… well, i better get going anyways, i have to help out my parents with something.” jihyun spoke, standing up.
“we’re staying here!” seokwon declared, “we can stay right, jeongguk hyung?” he asked.
jeongguk shrugged, “if your parents are fine with it, you can.”
“good! because you’re so cool we wanna stay here and play with you!” hanseok exclaimed.
“alright,” jihyun sighed, “but you all better come with me when i come to pick you up.”
“we will!” the six kids chorused.
“now go, samchon! hal-abeoji and halmeoni want your help!” jiwon urged, practically pushing jihyun out of the house.
“okay, okay, i’m going.” jihyun chuckled, putting his shoes on.
jihyun left after a quick goodbye.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
immediately after jihyun left, jiwon quickly went up to jeongguk and tugged at his right hand, pulling it out of the hoodie’s sleeve.
jiwon gasped as jeongguk’s tattoo came into view, jeongguk hastily pulled his hand back and hid it with his sleeve again.
“i’ve seen that tattoo somewhere…” jiwon mused, narrowing his eyes.
“where?” tehan questioned.
“its kind of blurry in my memories, but… i think it was when i was two or three years old,” jiwon spoke, “i think someone had come to meet me…”
“who had?” hanseok asked.
“i can’t remember…” jiwon frowned, closing his eyes and trying to think, only to open them two minutes later and shake his head, “let’s leave it for now.”
“okay! jeongguk hyung, do you have any cool games?” seokwan asked.
“sadly i don’t.” jeongguk exhaled.
“why not? do you not play games?” yoohan questioned.
“i don’t get enough time to do that.” jeongguk replied.
joonhyuk frowned, “what kind of job do you do that it takes up so much of your time?”
“i…uh…” jeongguk stammered, unable to find a suitable lie.
“it’s okay, hyung! i understand! my mom too is very busy with her work, which is why i stay with my samchon and hal-abeoji and halmeoni.” jiwon spoke.
“your mom doesn’t live here?” jeongguk asked.
“no, she lives in seoul, she’s a detective!” jiwon announced proudly, “she says her job is very dangerous so i have to stay with samchon. she comes by to visit me sometimes, and it’s fun here so i don’t mind.”
“a detective? those are so cool!” tehan exclaimed.
“they are. my mom has solved a lot of dangerous cases!” jiwon bragged.
jeongguk smiled at the kid’s pride, “what does your samchon do?”
“well, jimin samchon was an idol, you probably know that.” jiwon said, “he was the best! i remember that he came to visit me and mom once, and he’s the most fun samchon ever!”
“i know, right?” jeongguk mumbled under his breath.
“what’d you say?” hanseok questioned.
“nothing!” jeongguk responded, “what else do you remember about your jimin samchon?”
“ooh! he came to visit me once with all his friends, the bangtan hyungs! he introduced me to them as ‘his favorite nephew’!” jiwon declared, “and the hyungs said i was a very cute kid!”
“you met the bangtan hyungs?” tehan gasped, “wow that’s so cool!”
“i know.” jiwon grinned, “the youngest hyung… i forgot his name, but he raced toy cars with me, it was so fun!”
“that’s nice, jiwon.” jeongguk spoke, “do you guys want to fly paper airplanes?” he asked, quickly changing the topic before the boy remembered anything else.
“yeah!” the kids chorused.
“great,” jeongguk smiled, picking up a paper that was lying on the table and quickly folding it into an airplane.
the kids played around with the airplane, giggling and teasing eachother.
it was kind of refreshing for jeongguk to see so much happiness after a long while.
just then, there was a knock at the door.
jeongguk went and opened the door, revealing jihyun.
“uh… hi! i’m here to pick up the kids, they didn’t cause much trouble, did they?” jihyun asked awkwardly.
“no, they didn’t.” jeongguk reassured, “i’ll call them, one minute.”
“jeongguk hyung! who’s at the door?” joonhyuk questioned, running upto the door.
“it’s me, kids.” jihyun spoke.
“oh. is it time to go already?” joonhyuk whined.
“yup. c’mon now, your mom is calling you.” jihyun replied.
“why?” joonhyuk demanded.
“she said she’s taking you to eat ice cream.” jihyun told him.
the boy’s eyes lit up as he ran inside and screamed for his friends to stop playing and go to jihyun.
“bribery, huh?” jeongguk chuckled as he watched the kids run out of the house and stand behind jihyun.
“it always works.” jihyun shrugged, “anyways, we’ve got to go now, see you around?”
jeongguk nodded, “see you around,” he spoke, waving to jihyun and then to the six kids.
⋯
“jiwon-ah, what are you guys doing with the tablet?” jihyun asked as jiwon picked up the tablet and ran to his room with his friends.
“oh…uh, nothing, samchon! we’re just watching some youtube!” jiwon answered and then shut his room’s door.
after the seven-year-old was sure that his uncle would not bother them again, he exhaled and sat down on his bed, his five friends surrounded him as he typed in ‘run bts’ in the search box.
as they were halfway through the episode, jiwon paused it and immediately gasped.
“i knew the tattoo was too similar…” he mumbled.
“what’re you talking about, jiwonie?” yoohan asked.
“look!” jiwon exclaimed, pointed at the tablet.
in the paused frame of the video, the youngest member’s right hand was visible, and on the hand was a very similar tattoo.
“but it could just be that jeongguk hyung is a very big fan of this bangtan hyung and got the same tattoo as him?” joonhyuk spoke.
“no, hyukie! didn’t you hear the youngest bangtan hyung’s name?” jiwon questioned.
joonhyuk went silent for a second and then gasped, covering his mouth with his hands, “i-it’s jeongguk!”
“exactly!” jiwon exclaimed, “and i remember where i saw that tattoo! it was back when jimin samchon’s youngest friend -jeongguk hyung- had come to meet me with samchon!”
“wait seriously?!” tehan screeched.
“does that mean we’ve been talking with a bangtan hyung this whole time?!” hanseok shrieked.
“yes,” jiwon spoke, “that’s exactly what has been happening.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
"we've got to tell jihyun hyung!" hanseok exclaimed."no, no, first we should confirm it." yoohan spoke,"but wouldn't it be easier if we tell him first?" joonhyuk asked."yeah, maybe jihyun hyung could help." tehan joined in.just then, the room's door opened and jihyun walked in, holding a bundle of newspapers in one hand and a tray of orange juice in the other."maybe i could help with what?" jihyun questioned."oh uh... nothing, samchon." jiwon answered.jihyun narrowed his eyes, searching the room before his eyes landed on the tablet lying on the bed."were you watching run bts again?" jihyun asked, picking up the tablet."yes," seokwon nodded."why is this zoomed in on gguk's tattoo?" jihyun questioned."samchon! jeongguk hyung -the one from the apartments- has the same tattoo!" jiwon blurted out."he does?" jihyun asked."yes! we saw it when he was holding the tray while giving us water." tehan nodded."a-and his name is jeongguk too, he likes to watch videos of the bangtan hyungs, he's from around here just like the youngest bangtan hyung and he's around the same age as the youngest bangtan hyung." joonhyuk recounted.jihyun gasped, "y-you're right... he's too similar to jeongguk." the man thought for a minute before putting the tablet back down on the bed, "c'mon kids, we're going to meet jeongguk.""let's go!" the boys cheered.⋯there was yet another knock on his door, jeongguk groaned as he got up from his chair and walked up to his front door, cracking it open."oh hello, jeongguk-ssi!" jihyun greeted, "sorry for inconveniencing you, but i think one of the boys forgot something here.""i see," jeongguk spoke, opening the door wider, "you can go check,"the six kids rushed forward to the living room and began searching."what's lost?" jeongguk asked."a bracelet of mine," hanseok answered, "it was a friendship bracelet that we made." he added, gesturing to his friends."oh," jeongguk mumbled, dropping down on the floor to look under the couch.while searching for the bracelet, jeongguk unconsciously tugged his right sleeve upwards so that he could get a better grip on the pillow he wanted to pick up.immediately after he pulled it up, jihyun inwardly gasped as the tattoo came into view."it's not here." jeongguk spoke, crouching down once more to check under the coffee table."i found it!" yoohan exclaimed, holding up a colorful bracelet.jeongguk looked up in surprise, and maybe he looked up too quickly because his hoodie's hood immediately fell back.the room was filled with gasps as jeongguk hurriedly pulled his hood down, desperately trying to cover his face, but it was too late."j-jeongguk?" jihyun called out.the boy hung his head in defeat, staring at the ground."jeongguk-ah," jihyun repeated. he didn't use honorifics because both of them were of the same age."i'm sorry..." jeongguk mumbled, "i-i'm so sorry..." his eyes filled up with tears as he raised his hands to clutch his head in his hands."why are you sorry, gguk-ah?" jihyun asked softly, slowly walking closer to the boy and crouching down in front of him."i-i'm so sorry for everything..." jeongguk spoke, "i-it's all my fault." the boy whispered, curling in on himself, the hands he was using to clutch his head now scratching at his ears and pulling at his hair."hey, hey, jeongguk-ah, stop it." jihyun panicked, quickly holding jeongguk's hands back.jeongguk struggled against jihyun's hold, trying to free his hands and pull at his hair, but it didn't work, jihyun's grip on his hands was too strong."i'm sorry," jeongguk cried out again in a broken voice, repeating the two words again and again like a broken recorder."jeongguk-ah please stop trying to hurt yourself, it's okay... nobody blames you, gguk. stop it." jihyun pleaded."n-no... it is my fault. i-if i hadn't been so scared-""jeongguk. listen to me," jihyun spoke, making the panicked and frightened boy look up, "it wasn't your fault, okay?" the man said in a firm tone, "the only one to blame is the truck driver, not you. you were panicked and that's okay, anyone would have panicked in that situation. it wasn't your fault for not knowing what to do, don't blame yourself, your hyungs wouldn't have wanted you to.""if they had been here." jeongguk mumbled, "but they aren't... because of me.""gguk-ah, they aren't here because of the truck driver, but that doesn't mean they are gone, does it?" jihyun asked, "they still live in your heart, they won't ever leave you if you keep their memories alive.""b-but won't they be mad at me?" jeongguk questioned."mad at you for what, gguk?" jihyun asked, "there's nothing wrong that you did."jeongguk breathed out in defeat and resorted to staring at the floor instead of saying anything else."jeongguk-ah," jihyun began in a gently voice, "i know that you're going through a hard time right now," he paused, "but please know that you don't have to go through it alone, okay?"jeongguk gave a slight nod."now," jihyun spoke, standing up, "do you want us to stay or should we leave?""y-you can leave..." jeongguk mumbled, "i want to be alone for a while.""alright then, we'll leave." jihyun said, turning to the kids and telling them to go and wear their shoes, "if you need anything, i'll leave my number here, okay?" he spoke, quickly scribbling on his number on a newspaper that was kept on jeongguk's coffee table.jeongguk nodded and watched the seven people leave before curling up and burying his face in his knees.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
eventually, jeongguk got up and washed his face, avoiding the mirror as he exited the bathroom. the boy went to bed immediately, too tired to do anything else.the next morning, while jeongguk was having his breakfast -a random (probably old) glass of orange juice he found in his fridge, because he couldn't be bothered to search for anything else. besides, he was pretty sure his groceries had run out a month ago and he hadn't restocked. (he never did anyway, it was always his older brother who did whenever he came to visit).he heard knocking on the door, he took a deep breath as he slowly walked over to the door -he was not wearing his hoodie because it was still quite early, so he quickly put on face mask, kept near his door in case of emergencies- and opened the door, revealing jihyun -who was standing there with an awkward smile as he held a box in his hands- and the six other kids -who were beaming brightly and their eyes were sparkling."good morning, jeongguk-ah!" jihyun chirped."uh... good morning..." jeongguk greeted back."good morning jeongguk hyung!" the kids chorused.a little smile appeared on jeongguk's face as he let them enter."we brought muffins for you," jihyun informed, putting the box down on the dusty coffee table."t-thanks... but why?" jeongguk asked."we thought it'd be fun to have breakfast together!" tehan answered."the kids insisted that we should have breakfast with you or else you'll be lonely," jihyun shrugged a little, looking at the box in his hands, "i hope we're not intruding, though.""no, no, not at all." jeongguk assured, gesturing for them to have a seat before pulling off his face mask.jeongguk went into the kitchen and brought out a tray of glasses and plates, and then he sat down on the couch, a bit farther away from jihyun."jeongguk hyung, jeongguk hyung, tell us about bangtan hyungs!" hanseok requested, excitedly jumping up and down around jeongguk.jeongguk was about to speak when someone tugged at his arm, it was yoohan."why'd you stop being a band?" the boy asked curiously.jeongguk opened his mouth to answer, but one of the kids spoke up before him."why'd you say that it was because the youngest hyung was an idiot?" joonhyuk questioned, "why did you call yourself an idiot?""most importantly, where are the hyungs now? can we meet them?" tehan asked.jeongguk fell silent at the last question, just staring at the tattoo on his hand.jihyun noticed his discomfort, so he cleared this throat, looking at the kids,"hey, kiddos?" he called out, "maybe tone it down a little?" he suggested."oh! we're sorry if we overstepped, hyung..." seokwon apologised."i...i-it's alright..." jeongguk mumbled."so... how are the hyungs? are they fun or strict?" yoohan asked.jeongguk gulped, closing his eyes for a moment before opening them again and taking a deep breath, "t-they were the best hyungs anyone could ever want. t-they raised me, w-whatever i am today, its because of them." jeongguk spoke."why do you speak of them in the past tense, hyung?" joonhyuk questioned, tilting his head in confusion."oh... i didn't notice t-that i was doing that," jeongguk replied, "i was wrong, they are the best hyungs in the whole universe.""did they ever scold you or ever play pranks on you?" tehan asked curiously."yeah," jeongguk nodded, "they used to scold me whenever i did something wrong. and they used to play pranks on me all the time," he replied, a fond smile on his face as he remembered the memories of his hyungs pranking him."ooh! tell us more, tell us more! what was the most memorable prank?" hanseok asked.jihyun looked at jeongguk in concern, "gguk, you don't have to answer if you don't want to." jihyun spoke.jeongguk slightly shook his head, the small smile not leaving his face, but never reaching his eyes."well," jeongguk began, a slight chuckle in his voice, "there was this prank... on my sixteenth birthday, we had a filming that day, so we didn't really plan to celebrate that day, the filming was going well, but out of nowhere, the h-hyungs, managers and other staff started to scold me about the smallest of details. i nearly had a mental breakdown and cried, but at the end of filming, i found out that it was a prank and the hyungs brought out a cake and celebrated my birthday, i was dumbfounded at first but it was one of my best birthdays ever." jeongguk narrated, the smile finally reaching his eyes."that sounds fun! do they still prank you?" hanseok asked excitedly.jeongguk fell silent, dropping his head and staring at the floor. hanseok frowned a little, turning to jiwon."jiwonie, where's your jimin samchon right now?" hanseok questioned, "do you meet him often?""i... no, i don't meet him nowadays." jiwon answered."why not?" tehan questioned."because..." jiwon trailed off, looking at jihyun and jeongguk for help."because," jihyun began, taking a deep breath, "jimin hyung has gone somewhere far away to work.""oh," the other five chorused, oblivious to the saddened look in jiwon, jihyun and jeongguk's eyes."what about the other bangtan hyungs?" seokwon asked."they went with jimin hyung too." jihyun replied."but then," joonhyuk turned to jeongguk, "why didn't they take you with them? did you not want to go with them?" he asked.jeongguk felt his throat construct at the question, which was innocent from joonhyuk's perspective, but extremely painstaking for jeongguk."i-i... did want to go with them..." jeongguk trailed off, tears pricking his eyes, "but..." he let out a broken chuckle, "what can i say? they just didn't want me to come along.""why not? did you all fight?" yoohan questioned."n-no we didn't," jeongguk responded, looking away, "it was my fault," he mumbled quietly, thinking that no one heard him."no," jihyun protested sharply, "it wasn't your fault." he said and then turned to the kids, a sad smile on his face, "the bangtan hyungs... the place they went for work is a bit dangerous and because gguk hyung is their maknae, they didn't take him because they didn't want him to get hurt." he explained."oh... so they left hyung here so he could be safe?" seokwon asked."yeah, exactly, so that their precious maknae could be safe." jihyun nodded."the hyungs love their maknae so much." joonhyuk commented."they are like jeongguk hyung's anpanmans!" hanseok exclaimed, standing up and doing the anpanman pose.a sob rang through the room, everyone immediately turned to jeongguk, who had shifted to a dark corner of the couch, clutching his knees to his chest and burying his head in his knees as his shoulders shook."what happened, hyung? why are you crying?" yoohan asked."hey, kids, back up a bit, yeah?" jihyun requested, slowly walked up to jeongguk, "he just misses his hyungs, leave him be." he ordered softly, patting jeongguk's shoulders.the kids mumbled a few 'sorrys' before backing up."we should clean up this place to apologise to jeongguk hyung!" seokwon suggested."yeah," hanseok agreed, looking at the dusty coffee table and scrunching up his nose, "this place could use some cleaning."the kids all nodded at each other in enthusiasm before taking off to different parts of the room.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
"we don't have any cleaning supplies though," hanseok realised as he stood beside a dusty shelf with spider webs, kept in a corner of the room.hanseok walked over to the couch -where jeongguk was still curled up- and gently patted the older's knee to get his attention."jeongguk hyung," hanseok called out in the softest tone he could muster.jeongguk let out an almost silent hum, raising his head slightly, revealing his disheveled hair and red, puffed up eyes."hyung, do you have any cleaning supplies?" hanseok asked."maybe..." jeongguk mumbled, "check in the kitchen." he added."alright," hanseok responded, going over to the kitchen.the seven-year-old grimaced at the condition of the kitchen, it was dusty, covered in spider webs, there were a few insects buzzing around and seemingly rotting fruits sitting in a basket. the air was stale and stuffy to the point here hanseok was about to gag.the boy covered his mouth and nose by pulling his shirt over them and began searching around for anything that could be used for cleaning."hanseokie, what are you doing? found anything yet?" seokwon asked, walking into the kitchen.the boy immediately gagged and ran out of the kitchen."no, not yet..." hanseok replied, scanning the room for a few seconds before perking up, spotting a broom and some rags in the corner of the kitchen, beside the refrigerator.hanseok quickly rushed to the items, picked them up and ran out of the kitchen."jeongguk hyung! how do you eat or cook anything in the kitchen?" seokwon questioned."it's simple, i don't." jeongguk answered with a broken chuckle."you– what?!" jihyun screeched."i'm sorry..." jeongguk mumbled, pressing his knees closer to his chest.jihyun didn't say anything, he just got up and went into the kitchen.jihyun wordlessly began cleaning up the kitchen.jeongguk noticed this and got up to go to his kitchen."you don't have to do this." jeongguk spoke, "i'll clean it up, later.""i know you haven't been doing well these past years, gguk-ah," jihyun began, "and i know you're not in the best of places right now either, so just focus on trying to get better, okay? i'm here for all the other things.""but–""no buts," jihyun interrupted, leading jeongguk to the living room, "just sit here, maybe watch a kdrama or two and leave the house work to us.""the tv's... broken." jeongguk admitted in an embarrassed tone."oh. no biggies!" jihyun exclaimed as he pulled out his phone and set it on the table."i really need to help you all," jeongguk tried to reason."we've got this in the bag, gguk-ah." jihyun insisted as he put on a recent kdrama, patted jeongguk's shoulder and went back in the kitchen.jeongguk sighed, his eyes going to the kdrama playing on jihyun's phone.was he letting these super caring and kind people into his life?yes, he was.he just hoped that they wouldn't be cruelly snatched away from him like the others were. ⋯"jeongguk-ah, we'll be back in an hour or so, okay?" jihyun informed as he called the kids to the front door."where are you all going?" jeongguk asked."to the grocery store," jihyun answered as he opened the door and the kids ran out."okay," jeongguk responded, switching on his phone.jihyun exited the apartment, closed the door and then took six hyper children downstairs and settled them in his car with the promise –bribe– of one chocolate bar each.then, he began driving to the nearest grocery store."why are we here, hyung?" tehan asked as jihyun came to unbuckle all of their seatbelts."we're here to get some groceries for jeongguk." jihyun answered."ooh! we wanna help out!" hanseok whooped, practically jumping out of the car.jihyun chuckled, "okay, hanseok-ah, you can help."the man took a shopping cart from the entrance of the store and then walked in with the six kids skipping along behind him."jeongguk hyung would like some ice cream!" tehan suggested, "and some chocolates, how about candy? Does jeongguk hyung like pancakes?""tehanie, we're here to get groceries!" jiwon reminded with a giggle, "not fill jeongguk hyung's house with sweets!""yeah, but jeongguk hyung is not feeling well, and i always feel better with sweets so maybe jeongguk hyung will too?" tehan spoke."oh." jiwon responded, "good idea."tehan grinned as he sped off and returned with a few chocolate bars and a pancake mix."and now, jeongguk hyung will be happy!" tehan declared."sure," jihyun chuckled, putting a few packets of instant ramen in his shopping cart."are we done yet?" hanseok drawled out, "i wanna go back to jeonggukie hyung.""almost, hanseok-ah." jihyun replied, sorting through a few vegetables."ooh good!" hanseok chirped, "can we make some food for jeonggukie hyungie when we go back?""of course," jihyun nodded."yay!" the six boys celebrated.⋯"jeongguk-ah! we're back!" jihyun called out as he opened the door, two grocery bags –filled to the brim– in his hands."welcome back," jeongguk responded, trying his best to make his tone cheerful, but failing to do so."hey, it's alright. don't force yourself to be happy." jihyun spoke, patting the other man's back.jeongguk sighed, "sorry. i just... wanted to try and sound happy so that the kids wouldn't feel bad.""like i said, don't force yourself, the kids understand." jihyun responded."jihyun hyung! quick!" tehan urged, running into the house and stopping in the kitchen."yeah, yeah, i'm coming." jihyun chuckled, walking towards the kitchen."what're you guys doing?" jeongguk asked, following behind jihyun."nothing!" hanseok answered, "how about you sit outside and watch movies?""why?" jeongguk questioned, raising an eyebrow."because..." hanseok trailed off, trying to find an excuse."because! we're still cleaning up the kitchen! so you need to leave!" joonhyuk joined in."alright then," jeongguk exhaled, walking away from the kitchen."let's get started!" tehan cheered."okay, okay, but there are some rules." jihyun declared, "rule one, do not go near the stove. rule two, do not touch the knives and scissors. rule three, only do the things i tell you to, otherwise, stay away from the counters and stand near the entrance. got it?""yes sir!" the six boys chorused."good. now let's get this cooking party started!" jihyun announced.