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Leon thought he was quiet. Wanting to draw as little attention to himself as possible, he eased open the cupboards and made sure to cushion them as they closed. Tugging out the bowls, measuring cups, and whisk, he carefully placed them on the pre-prepared towels that he had draped over the countertop. Even when he cracked the eggs, he used the egg carton itself as a sound barrier.Yet despite all of his efforts and best-laid plans, somehow—someway—Yuffie heard him. Using her stealthy ninja moves, she sneaked into the locked kitchen through the half-open window while Leon’s focus was on leveling out the flour in his plastic measuring cup and she popped up right smack in back of him. She watched as he took an offset spatula and neatly combed the excess flour off the top of the heap before greeting him with a loud howdy-do.“Whatcha doooooooooooin’?” she singsonged using her anything-but-inside voice.Shocked, Leon dropped the cup and reflexively spun on his heel, reaching for his trusty Gunblade that usually rested at his side. In its place, however, he had holstered a whisk and whipped that out instead. A cloud of white flour puffed through the air, dispersed by the quick-drawn whisk that slashed through the plume and went straight for Yuffie’s neck. The ninja girl just giggled as the silicone wires harmlessly bounced off of her.“Yuffie…” Leon grumbled through gritted teeth as he saw the identity of his surprise interloper. Annoyed, he lowered his makeshift weapon while the ninja curiously peeked around him to see what he was up to.“Oooohhh…what’s this?” Yuffie leaned her finger into the bowl about ready to poke the sunny, glistening yolks when her hand was smacked away.“Out. Now.” Leon’s glare would’ve frightened just about anyone, but not her. Growing up with him as her mentor and training partner, Yuffie developed a natural immunity to all of the gruff soldier’s wide array of menacing facial expressions. “Oh please, Squall. As if your pink ‘Kiss the Chef’ apron could intimidate anyone,” she said with a roll of her eyes, making the soldier’s cheeks flush. Leon didn’t cook much, but he knew he needed an apron and Aerith’s was the only one he could find. It was frilly and lacy with an image of two moogles smooching embroidered just under the flowery script. If he could’ve worn Cid’s plain smock, he would’ve, but the old engineer hadn’t taken it off in days and had squirreled himself away in his garage working on a project.“That’s Leon ,” he corrected, grabbing the obnoxious teen by the elbow and dragging her away from the counter. With a shove, he sent her tumbling out the window before slamming it shut and locking it.“What the heck?!” Yuffie shouted after smacking down on the pavement. “We’re on the third floor!”While Leon took a broom to the spilled flour, the feisty ninja chucked shuriken against the glass and tried to get back inside until she eventually gave up with an audible huff. As Leon dumped the soiled flour into the trash, he heard his aggrieved snooper shout, “You big meanie!” before angrily stomping away.Breathing a sigh of relief, Leon washed and dried his measuring cup before scooping in more flour. With his keen eye and offset spatula, he measured out three level cups and dumped them into the bowl before checking the recipe again. Next came two cups sugar followed by a half cup of oil and—
Creak, creak! Pitter-patter-pitter-patter! Thump, thump, thump!
Leon’s eyes snapped up to the ceiling landing on the air vent. He just knew Yuffie was in there. If he strained his ears enough, he could even hear her breathing through the grate. “Get out of there!” he shouted.“Coo, coo! Coo, coo!”Leon smacked his forehead. “Since when do pigeons hang out in the vents?”“Since you started being stingy with the breadcrumbs, coo!”“They don’t talk back, either. Now get lost!”“You’re not the boss of me, coo! I go where I want, when I want, how I wa—aaaahhhh!” The ceiling gave way and the long metal tube housing the mischievous ninja tumbled down, shooting Yuffie out as if she were riding down a slide at a children’s park. Clumps of drywall and debris crashed down with her, making a mess of the floors, counters, and Leon’s carefully measured mixing bowl.“Ouchies…” Yuffie mumbled in a daze as she picked herself up and rubbed her sore rear. When she brushed the paint chips and dust from her eyes and saw the state of all the devastation, a creeping dread suddenly washed over her. The kitchen was totaled and, aside from a lecture looming overhead from either Leon or Cid or Merlin or all three, one awful truth was undeniable: she needed to eat all the ice cream fast. The metal duct had crashed right into the icebox, snapping the door clean off and spilling all its frozen goodies onto the floor.“Don’t worry, my nummy pretties! Your Yuffums’ll save you!” Yuffie dove after her beloved Mickey-shaped fudge pops and started scarfing them.While the gluttonous ninja stuffed her face with melting, chocolatey goodness, Leon swallowed all of his rage in order to focus on the task at hand. He scouted around for salvageable ingredients and stored them into an old cardboard box Cid kept handy for carrying large orders of produce from the market. All of the eggs shattered against the floor between bits of smushed strawberries and fiberglass insulation. With a groan, Leon held the box in both hands and he marched out of that mess in search of another kitchen. The nosy ninja tried to badger him some more, but he just scowled.“It’s Aerith’s birthday and you’ve trashed the place,” Leon growled. “You’re going to clean everything.”“But—”“Everything, Yuffie.” Leon didn’t need to make a direct threat. It was evident in his voice. He expected the place to be spotless by the time he got back and she got the message.With a groaning sigh, Yuffie bowed her head in capitulation. “Fiiiiiine. I guess it was my fault anyway.” She grabbed the nearby broom and started sweeping. “Oh, while you’re out, can you get me some more ice cream?”“No.”Yuffie stuck her tongue out as she watched him leave.Leon tried not to let all the leering whispers and hushed gasps perturb him as he made his way down the street still wearing the bright, pink apron. Everyone stopped to stare, snicker, and gossip as he paraded down his way towards the First District café. It wasn’t until he stood outside the kitchen door waiting for the head chef to let him in that he realized he could’ve taken the silly thing off and stuffed it into the box with all the other cooking utensils. “Ah, yes, Signore Leon!” remarked Joe with a clap of his hands and a broad smile stretched across his mustached face. “It would’a be my pleasure to let’a you have the cucina! You’a do so much for’a everybody! Mia cucina is’a your’a cucina! ”“Thanks,” came the terse reply as Leon walked over to a free counter inside the kitchen and started unloading his things. It was more cramped than Cid’s place, and a lot more busy. Joe’s sous chefs were hard at work dicing, slicing, and churning out fast meals to serve to the hungry patrons sitting just outside. They rushed past him to grab all kinds of things like onions, tomatoes, and fish—all of which had juices that flecked over into his sugar and flour as he measured them. The last thing he wanted was to make a fishy cake.After dumping out the bowl several times and switching workstations, Leon thought he finally found a reprieve. Joe even brought him some more eggs and fresh strawberries to use. Everything seemed to be coming together, and as he splashed a little vanilla extract into the mixture before whipping out his whisk, he dared to breathe a sigh of relief that the end was near. But just then, the lunch rush started. Dozens of new orders came in all at once and a flurry of sous chefs, waiters, and even alleyway rats flooded into the kitchen.Food went flying everywhere as plates smacked against the counters in a mad rush to be filled. Soup spilled, crumbs scattered, and sauces splattered. Waiters rushed around overloading their trays and awkwardly dancing around one-another as they fought over who would breach the outside first. Slow waiters didn’t get meaty tips, after all. The rats were the only ones enjoying themselves, feasting off all the reckless humans’ waste. One grew extra bold and abandoned a delectable morsel of stinky cheese in favor of climbing up some conveniently opened drawers and into Leon’s strawberry bowl.The moment he saw a fat rat rolling around gorging itself on strawberries, Leon dropped everything and started walking away. He didn’t mind getting shoved by tip-hungry waiters or having fish sauce splashed all over him by frantic sous chefs. Even the occasional angry moogle flying in to complain about the five-alarm chili only being two-alarm and smashing some fine china in retaliation wasn’t enough to deter him from his task. But that rat took the proverbial cake.Or it should have. Just as Leon was leaving, a chef appeared—tall, lanky, and nervous. He wore a lengthy, starchy hat and kept fiddling with its brim as he made a beeline for the cake mix. Without prompt, the chef swirled his finger into Leon’s batter until it was well-coated and then shoved that same finger under his hat. Throughout the entire process, he maintained awkward eye contact with the perturbed amateur baker.“Uh, my hat says…you added too much fish.” The chef gave a nervous smile. There was a long, awkward silence. Leon blinked at him then turned around and left.Tugging off the frilly apron and folding it over his arm, Leon went to cool off somewhere quiet. The rage and frustration he felt in that instant rivaled anything he ever experienced fighting the Heartless. After wandering into the Second District, he sat down on a secluded bench near the cathedral. At first, he craned his head back towards the sky and inhaled some fresh air from the soft breeze blowing past him. But after a while, his eyes rolled over to land on the church’s stained glass windows. He could just picture Aerith standing on the other side, watering her secret garden while saying some prayers—doing everything and then some to bide her time until the big party later. Leon let out a long, frustrated sigh and massaged the tension out of his forehead. He thought back to last night, when he and Aerith had finished their final patrol and headed back to the hotel. The moonlight seemed to twinkle extra bright in her magical, green eyes as she smiled at him.“You really don’t have to go through so much trouble for me,” she had said as they walked side-by-side.“It’s your birthday. The least I can do is get you something that you really want.”“What I really want…?” They stopped in the hallway in front of the Red Room door. Aerith had her hands clasped in front of her, taking a moment to think while Leon patiently waited. “A strawberry shortcake…”
That’s easy enough. There’s a bakery just down the—
“…homemade by you.” What? “I’m not a baker. Wouldn’t you rather have a professional do it?”“You asked me what I wanted. Well, that’s it right there: a strawberry shortcake made by you, Leon.”He had crossed his arms and mulled over it for a bit. The earnest sincerity of her wish made it impossible for him to refuse. Though in all truth, Leon could never say no to Aerith regardless. I guess I can use the kitchen at the secret base. I’ll have to go buy ingredients in the morning. “All right. I’ll do it.”Aerith’s smile had warmed with excitement and her gaze lingered on Leon’s for a bit. “I’m looking forward to it,” she had said, taking one of his hands in hers and giving it a fond squeeze before disappearing into her room.Leon flexed his fingers at the memory as if he could feel the phantom of her gentle hand. With another sigh, he took one last look at the church before getting back to his feet. Aerith was counting on him. He couldn’t let her down—not on her birthday. Not ever. But where am I going to bake a cake now? Who’s got an oven to spare? He eyed Roger’s house, which was just around the corner next to the cathedral, but with all the puppies excited to be back home, he imagined they’d be tugging at his apron strings looking for constant tummy rubs and playtime. Dog fur and whipped cream wouldn’t make for a nice birthday cake. But aside from Roger, who was left? After running an internal tally in his head, there was only one option: the worst, most annoying last resort of them all.“Leon, my boy! Come in, come in! Truth be told, I was just on my way out to find you!” Geppetto merrily stepped aside and allowed the disgruntled novice baker into his humble abode. With a gleeful little smirk, he shuffled over to his workbench and grabbed his latest creation. Before Leon could even get two words out, Geppetto shoved a wooden clock under his nose. “Here! A gift for you, my boy! For all the help you’ve given Pinocchio and me!” That’s the third “gift” this week, and the seventh this month. “Really, you didn’t need to—”“Ah, ah! I’ll hear nothing of it, my boy! I insist that you take my humble little token of gratitude.”Stifling a groan, Leon muttered a reluctant “thanks” before placing the clock down by the door and explaining the situation.“Goodness me!” Geppetto gasped with a little jump. “It’s Aerith’s birthday? Today of all days? Why, I had no idea! I must get to work at once!” He shoved past Leon and hurried back to his workbench.“That’s great and all, but can I use your kitchen?”“Yes, yes! Of course! Use whatever you need, my boy! My refrigerated goods are at your disposal!”Leon gave an appreciative nod and hurried into the other room before the old toymaker could rope him into any of his woodworking inanities. When he got there, the sight both perplexed and perturbed him. All of the kitchen appliances were clocks. Gears were turning, arms were ticking, and Leon was fuming. What the hell kind of oven is that?! He tried poking and prodding the oven dials, but all they seemed to do was readjust the time. The refrigerator was no better. Every time he thought he found the handle for opening it, he wound up setting a new waking alarm. The fridge set off so many obnoxiously loud alarm bells that Geppetto called out from the next room.“Is everything alright in there, my boy?” Of course not! You’re an insane, old coot with a clock fetish! There’s nothing right about this! “What’s up with the oven?” Leon begrudgingly went back into the other room to where Geppetto was fast at work chiseling Aerith’s birthday gift.“Ah, that would be the baking clock!”“I can see that. But why is it a clock ?”“I was inspired by the juicing clock I had given you!”“What?”“And the shoe-shining clock and the toothbrushing clock and the hair-combing clock!” These clocks have practical purposes? “Fine, whatever. But how do you use it?”“When the big hand points to a number, it denotes—”“I don’t mean how to tell time!” Leon snapped. The toymaker was getting on his last nerve. If nothing else, all those obnoxiously ticking clocks covering up every inch of the walls, tables, and cabinets inside that cottage served one important purpose: they showed that the party was just a few hours away and the birthday cake was nowhere near finished. “How do I bake with it?”“Ah, it couldn’t be simpler!” The merry toymaker scooted out of his seat and shuffled into the kitchen towards the oven where he pulled on a series of levers. A row of steam pipes jutting from the top whistled as the oven sputtered to life with an even more obnoxious ticking sound than before—almost like a bomb. “What temperature would you like?”Leon pulled out his recipe card just to double-check. “350°F.”Geppetto nodded and turned a crank until the first set of clock hands were pointing to 3:50. “Simply turn this gyro to set the baking time,” he instructed with an excited little smile as he pointed to a winding gizmo on the side of the second clock.“Thanks, now about the fridge…”“Yes, yes! Of course!” Humming a little tune, Geppetto skipped over to the alarm-riddled refrigerator clock. “Tell me: what do you need?”As Leon read off his ingredient list, Geppetto set the clock to various different times—all of which opened different cabinets and drawers until the amateur baker had everything he needed. Before he let the obsessed, ticktocking fiend go back to work, Leon made sure he had all the necessary utensils from the clock-themed cabinets.Once he got what he needed, Leon kicked Geppetto out of his space, donned his apron and started measuring things again. Without suffering any crazy interruptions, it didn’t take long for him to get everything into the bowl whisked up and poured into the cake tins. He popped them into the oven and set to work on the cream while the sponge baked.While he waited for the cake tiers to cool, Leon popped a strawberry in his mouth and leaned against the counter with his arms crossed. He lost himself in thought wondering how Aerith would like her birthday gift. Should he had bought her something to go along with it? Maybe a necklace or a new pair of boots? I just want to make her happy… Once the sponge was ready, Leon layered everything together with cream and strawberries, doing his best to make it look symmetrical. He wasn’t going to question why on old man like Geppetto had so many strawberries lying around and hoped they weren’t there to serve as some kind of inspiration for a berry-themed clock. After gauging everything with a ruler he kept tucked in his back pocket, he determined the finished product to be level and aesthetically pleasing. It was rather simple and clean—nothing too extraordinary, but he hoped the flavor and texture would hit the mark. With one final touch, he placed the candles around the top tier between chunks of strategically placed berries and he was set to go.“Marvelous!” Geppetto clapped as he strolled into the kitchen with a jubilant smile. “Simply marvelous!” He pushed his spectacles in a little further and squinted so that he could admire every last detail on the cake. “I never knew you had such talent, my boy!”“Thanks,” Leon muttered as he grabbed the cake platter and started leaving.“It inspires me, it does! I do believe I have a wonderful gift idea!” Oh god… Leon tried to walk around him, but the toymaker was in full clock-making mode. He got out his sketchpad and studied the strawberry shortcake from all angles. Not wanting to risk an accident happening, Leon had no choice but to stand still. The cake depended on it.The house clocks were all ticking up a cacophony making each agonizing second pass painfully. Fifteen minutes in and Leon was losing his patience. All the guests must’ve been at the base by now. He didn’t want to arrive later than Aerith. But Geppetto showed no signs of moving. The old man kept dabbing his pencil on his tongue and sketching out some kind of weird, bulbous creatures that Leon could only assume were strawberry people.“Geppetto, the party…”“Hmm?” The old toymaker looked up with his innocent, gleeful eyes in confusion. “Party?”“Aerith’s birthday party.”“Oh! Yes, yes! Of course! Silly me!” Geppetto quickly stashed his sketchpad away and fetched the new clock he had made especially for the occasion. It looked like a giant woman’s face with big eyes that had too much blue eye shadow and a giant pair of lips that had smudged, ruby red lipstick. He saw Leon glare at it with both confusion and revulsion, but didn’t notice that last emotion. “This is a makeup-applicator clock!” he explained with a proud, little smirk.“Right…” Without another word, Leon marched out of the cottage. Geppetto locked up and quickly tagged behind him, chatting about clocks all the way until they reached the Third District.Opening the door to the secret base, however, was nothing short of hellish. Instead of finding party snacks, balloons, and a big “Happy Birthday” banner neatly arranged in the main sitting area, Leon stepped in to see half the kitchen still laying in ruins while Yuffie ran around chasing after some rats. She smashed all the lamps, knocked over all the potted plants, and even upturned the coffee table while chasing those squeaky rodents with her giant shuriken.“Get back here, you thieving critters!” she shouted, trying to lunge at them only to smash into a painting and tearing through the canvas.“Yuffie!” Leon yelled in his commanding voice, forcing her and the rats all to screech to a sudden halt. “What’s going on here?”“Uh, well, see, I popped down to Joe’s to get some hot wings and hotdogs for party snacks, but these rats followed me home and—look, long story short, they stole half the food in the fridge.”Leon was about to give her a stern lecture when he got an earful of expletives as Cid trudged through the door behind him.“What in tarnation?!” he shouted, nearly having a heart attack at the sight of the mess. The curmudgeonly engineer just about lost his head when he saw the rats. “Yuffie! What the *@#&^ did you do?!”“I can explain!”“Oh this’ll be good,” said Merlin as he appeared from behind Cid. He sipped on a small saucer of tea as he watched the two shout and yell at each other.“There’s a *@#&^ing hole in the *@#&^ing ceiling! How the *@#&^ did you *@#&^ing manage that?! And you *@#&^ing ripped my favorite *@#&^ing painting!”“It was an accident okaaay?”Back and forth they went, grating on Leon’s last nerve while Merlin slurped down the rest of his tea. The old wizard set his saucer aside and fished around for his wand. He found it tucked under his steeple, blue hat and after a quick wave here and a slower wave there, he not only restored the place to its clean, normal state but he conjured up some nicer decorations and magically placed them around the room. Everyone stared at him with wide eyes. Cid’s jaw went slack and he dropped his reed.“You’re welcome,” said the proud wizard with a stroke of his long, white beard.All three of the others wanted to say something, but just then a voice came from behind the wizard. “Oh my! How lovely!”Everyone turned to see Aerith standing in the doorway, her eyes glistening with mirth. Just seeing all of her friends gathered around to celebrate her was enough to move her to tears. “Aerith! Aerith!” Yuffie pulled out a gift wadded in messily taped-together wrapping paper that was a patchwork of several different sheets. “Happy Birthday, girl! Open up my gift first!” Using her special, awesome ninja skills, she cartwheeled towards the door, but accidentally slipped on a rat’s tail. She stumbled and her gift went flying towards Cid.The old engineer quickly defended himself by bringing up his own gift to shield his face. It was some kind of watering can with a bright red bow on it. At its base, it housed a small jet engine which Cid would’ve explained was used to automate the watering process by allowing it to fly around sprinkling all of Aerith’s flowers while she just sat back and watched. However, the moment Yuffie’s rock-hard gift smacked into it, the engine kicked off into full gear and sent its thrusters roaring up into the air. The autonomous, metal can zipped around the room, sparking and flaring until it crash landed on top of Geppetto.“Goodness me!” the old toymaker yelped as his clock caught fire from the impact. He quickly tossed it clear of his burning fingers and it landed with a splat in Leon’s cake. When the jet fuel and flames mixed with the makeup chemicals, they exploded the clock like a bomb and sent gears, sprockets and springs flying along with chunks of strawberry cake.Standing stock still and covered with whipped cream, berries, and miraculously lit candles, Leon did his best to swallow his rage. Especially when Aerith walked up to him with a small smile. Everyone else was in a fury, bickering with each other and shouting for someone—namely Yuffie—to clean everything. But not Aerith. She took her finger to a bit of creamy cake stuck on Leon’s shoulder and tasted it. Her smile widened at the delicious flavor.“This is really good!” she chirped, plucking off a strawberry next.“You like it?” Leon was beyond confused. Is she just being polite? “It’s great,” she nodded in earnest, able to taste the love and dedication he put into baking it. “Thank you.”Their eyes met and they fondly gazed into each other for a bit before Leon smiled back. “Happy Birthday, Aerith.”Aerith grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze, taking note of his apron in the process. “Kiss the chef? Don’t mind if I do.” She touched her lips to his. He tasted sweeter than any strawberry.