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All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances; and one man, in his time plays many parts. -William Shakespeare As You Like It, Act II, scene 7, lines 146-149
Prologue
The Spy
Cokeworth, 1970
The scrawny boy knelt behind a small clump of bushes on the edge of the play park, holding his breath as he watched the sisters swing. Today . . . today was finally going to be the day. One of the girls was pumping her legs energetically, swinging higher and higher, a wide smile splitting her small face. “Lily, don’t do it!” shouted her sister. This was the older sister; the boy knew from his covert observations. But it was too late, Lily let go of the swing at the peak of its arc and soared gracefully into the air—her arms outstretched. She landed gently on her feet, an alarming distance from the swings. The boy let out his breath and licked his dry lips. “Mummy told you not to,” the other sister reprimanded. She dragged her heels though the gravel to slow her swing then hopped off rushing toward her sister, hands on her hips. Lily was laughing. Spinning with her arms out at her sides, head tipped back to the sun. “Mummy said you weren’t allowed, Lily!”“But I’m fine,” Lily replied. She ceased her twirling and knelt to pick up a fallen blossom. “Tuney, look at this. Watch what I can do.”The boy leaned forward, so eager to see Lily’s next trick. He kept his shoulders hunched as he peeked around the edge of the foliage to witness Lily—a flower in her palm—opening and closing its petals gently. He sucked in a sharp breath. The air was tinged with the metallic scent of magic. Lily was absolutely flooded with it. The sisters were arguing, and Lily tipped her hand. The boy tracked the flower as it fell softly into the dirt. “How do you do it?” the older sister, Tuney, asked. “It’s obvious, isn’t it?” The concealed boy made himself known; his English was thickly accented. Tuney gave a small shriek and leapt back, startled by the boy’s appearance. He was a strange apparition, dressed in too short jeans, a long baggy shirt, and engulfed in a too large jacket. His dark hair was straight and long enough to curtain his thin face. ut Lily did not retreat, she looked directly into his eyes and he felt color rise in his cheeks. Her eyes were a shocking shade of green. And for a moment his world shrunk to only her. “What’s obvious?” Lily asked in a quiet voice. “I know what you are,” he whispered. “What do you mean?” “You are a witch,” the boy said. Lily wrinkled her nose at him. “That’s not a very nice thing to say to somebody!”She lifted her chin into the air and turned away, marching toward her sister. “No!” the boy called. He lunged after her, his coat flapping loosely around his tiny shoulders. Lily and her sister stood—holding onto the poles of the swingset—studying this strangely dressed child. “You are. You’re a witch. I have been watching you for a while. But there is nothing wrong with that. Mi mamá’s one, and I am a wizard.”“Wizard!” Tuney shouted with a little laugh. “I know who you are. You’re that Snape boy! They live down Spinner’s End by the river.” She looked at Lily in disgust. Tuney wagged a finger in his direction. “Why have you been spying on us?”“Haven’t been spying,” said Severus Snape. “Wouldn’t spy on you anyway, you are a muggle .” The sisters may not have recognized the word, but his spiteful tone insinuated an insult. “Lily, come on, we’re leaving!” Tuney said, grabbing her sister’s arm and marching them away. Lily followed her sister’s lead, and didn’t give the boy—Severus—a backward glance as they marched through the play park gate. Serverus’ face fell. After weeks of careful observation, his decision to make contact had not played out like he had envisioned. “¡Ostia!” He kicked the dry dirt with the toe of his shoe, displacing many small pebbles. What was there to lose? He quickly glanced around and saw the girls hurrying around the corner at the end of a row of red brick terrace houses. Severus hurried after them, wrapping his arms around his middle to keep his coat from flapping behind him as he ran. As he rounded the same corner, he saw the sisters climbing the short flight of stairs leading up to a faded black door with the number 72 affixed to it. “¡Espera!” Severus called. Wait! Lily turned at his call; Severus saw her say something quietly to her sister and gently push her into the house. She walked down the steps, arms crossed over her chest. Her hair was dark red, and she wore it in a high ponytail. The long tail reached to her shoulder blades. Severus rushed toward her and through the front gate. Lily’s heavily freckled face was impassive. “Look, I recognize you now. You’re in my class,” she said. “I’ve never heard you talk before.”“Es que todavía no domino el inglés,” Severus said, not meeting Lily’s eyes. She kept looking at him with an unreadable expression. “My English is terrible,” he translated for her. “I don’t think it’s bad,” she said. “I can understand you at any rate.”Severus let out a long sigh. He had her full attention; what was he planning to do with it?“La magia, how long have you been able to do it?” he asked in a rush. Lily shrugged. “I’ve had strange things happening around me for years, but I guess it’s only been in the last few months I’ve been able to make it do what I want.”Severus nodded. Then he seemed to remember his manners and stuck out his hand. “I’m Severus.”Lily gave him a quizzical look, then uncrossed her arms to shake his hand. “Lily Evans.”“I already know who you are,” Severus said quickly. “About that, have you been spying on me?” Lily narrowed her eyes. “Not spying, just watching. You are interesting to me. Un misterio.”Lily nodded, but Severus continued. “It isn’t normal, this amount of magic in someone so young.”“So you’re saying there’s something wrong with me? I mean, I already knew there was something different about me, but it doesn’t feel wrong.”“No! It’s not wrong, it’s different.”“But you said I’m a witch?” Lily’s eyes were shining despite her sour expression. “There is a whole world you don’t know about. A world full of people like us.”“Is there?”Severus nodded solemnly. “I have to go but if you want I can tell you more about it.”Lily’s round face shifted to looking eager. “How about we meet on Sunday afternoon, do you know the bridge over the river?”Severus, who could not believe how his luck had turned, nodded enthusiastically. “Meet me at the bridge, six o’clock.” Lily turned on her heel, marched back up the steps and through her front door. Severus stood, heart hammering, for several moments after the door closed. He had done it. As Severus closed the door on his own small home, he tiptoed toward the narrow stairs, barely daring to breathe. “Boy!” His hopeful mood fell as he turned, making his way through the tiny hall and into the cramped kitchen. His father, Tobias Snape, was sitting at the table jammed into the corner of the room, leaving hardly any space to maneuver around it. Yet somehow, his mother always found enough room to prepare meals. She was there as well, washing potatoes with small eyes while a knife chopped carrots on the counter of its own accord. They’d likely be eating tortilla de patata for dinner. “Sí, papá,” Severus replied. “Where have you been? Your mother needed help with cleaning.” Severus turned his back before rolling his eyes. Why he had to help his mother—who was a perfectly competent witch—with mundane tasks such as washing floors was beyond him.“Estaba abajo junto al río,” he shrugged. I was down by the river. Tobias snorted, then said, “Well you’re here now. Get to work.” And he gestured at an empty bucket and grey washrag sitting on the floor. “Sí, papá.” It was perfectly normal for them to carry out conversations in half Spanish, half English. His father had never bothered to learn to speak much Spanish, even after marrying his mother and years of work in a factory in Spain. Yet Eileen had insisted on exclusively speaking Spanish with her son. “Es importante que sea bilingüe,” she had insisted. It is important he is bilingual. This meant Tobias was often a mere spectator in his own home to conversations he did not fully understand and rarely contributed to.“I don’t understand why I have to do this when you could do it for us with a wave of your wand,” Severus grumbled under his breath in Spanish, grabbing the bucket and sliding past his mother to run it under the tap. “Oh, my child, it is good for you,” his mother replied. “Besides, I am busy.” And she waved at the dinner preparations clearly taking place in front of her. “Bien.” Severus pulled the bucket out of the sink and sloshed a bit of water on the cheap linoleum flooring. “What are you going to do when I am gone at Hogwarts?”His mother reached out a hand and ruffled his hair. “I’ll manage. And take a bath tonight, no more excuses.” While Severus began wiping down the worn floor in the entryway, he thought about Hogwarts. Sometimes it didn’t seem real to him; but it was out there, somewhere. Waiting. And in a year’s time he would be going. Lily too, he reckoned. They had moved to Cokesworth from Barcelona—his father trading one factory job for another—in the New Year of 1970. Eileen had insisted they take up residency in Britain so as to ensure Severus would have a place at Hogwarts. Tobias had relented upon learning a first class free education awaited his son, even if it was at a school of magic. But with little funds, their choices for relocating had been limited. Severus missed the big city, with its bustling culture, bright colors, music, and proximity to the ocean. Cokeworth was only colorful for one season of the year. And even then the colors were mostly brighter shades of smoke stained red brick and grey stone as the sun shone down upon them. Most of the time, it was cloudy with grey drizzle. And the skyline was dominated by the huge smokestacks of the factories which employed almost all the town’s residents. Severus had found his limited English to be an unexpected setback upon moving. He had been under the impression his English was—if not great—then good. It turned out the limited conversations he had had with his father were the catalyst of much teasing in his new classroom. He quickly withdrew, becoming nothing more than a shadow of his former self, but a keen observer emerged from the isolation. This was how he had noticed Lily, sitting in the front row, raising her hand any time a question was asked. It wasn’t her intelligence he noticed, it was her magic. She would drop a pencil, reach to pick it up, but before her fingers got within a foot of it the pencil would leap up into her palm as if drawn there by a magnet. Or she would be asked to pass back their homework and as she walked around the room, the papers would float from the stack to the student’s desk without so much as a flick of her wrist. Thankfully, no one else took notice of the phenomena. But Severus did. His own experience with magic was sporadic at best. But it was enough for his mother to confirm he had inherited the trait. Eileen told her son plenty of details about Hogwarts, but like any good magical parent, she also left certain things out so he could experience the wonder and surprises the castle had to offer first hand. Severus did know there were four houses, Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. “¿En qué casa estabas mamá?” he had asked. Which house were you in mama? “I was in Slytherin,” Eileen responded. “You’ll probably get put there too. It usually runs in families. But not always.” “Does it matter which house I go to?” His mother had thought for a moment. “Where you end up will be the right place for you.” Severus did not admit it aloud, but his mother’s prediction of his sorting had already cemented Slytherin house as the ideal house in his mind. He adored his mother. They shared something his father could never touch. They spoke Spanish together. And however limited Eileen Snape’s physical affection may be, Severus knew his mother loved him. These things were something of a consultation when his father sank into one of his depressive rages.Tobias was an honest, hard working man. But he had his demons. When he felt despair closing in around him, he turned to drinking to numb the feelings. Which mostly worked; until something set him off. Then the alcohol only fueled an anger which was truly terrifying, especially to a child. Eileen took the brunt of his aggression. Severus could always tell when they were about to go at it, and every row ended in bruises, blood, and tears. Thankfully it wasn’t an everyday occurrence. And sober Tobias merely wanted to be seen as the authority figure in his household. But on days when Severus would hear the shouting begin, he’d slip up to his room to press a pillow over his ears trying to muffle out the fight. I am not here, he told himself. I am nothing. I do not exist. This ritual set in until it was second nature. He even began doing it when they weren’t fighting, particularly before falling asleep. What he didn’t understand was why his mother let it happen. She was a witch. Surely she could use magic to fight back instead of playing punching bag for his drunk father. “No, cariño, nunca usamos magia contra los muggles,” Eileen had said one day when he’d brought this to her attention. No my child, we never use magic against muggles. “But, mamá, he is hurting you,” Severus had cried, tears streaking down his cheeks. “It isn’t fair to them.” “No, mamá, it is not fair to you.” His mother would sigh and tell him someday he would understand. Severus didn’t think he ever would. If he had that kind of power at his fingertips—when more like—he wouldn’t stand for bullies throwing their weight around. Eileen had explained the importance of keeping the magical world secret; the ministry could punish you if you performed magic in front of muggles or even worse on muggles. “And besides, my love, you don’t want me to end up in Azkaban, do you?” she had said. “It is different with dad, he sees magic all the time.”“Seeing and feeling are two very different things.” Eileen shook her head. Then to distract her distraught son, she told him all about the terrible creatures which guarded the wizard prison Azkaban. While this wasn’t a cheering sort of tale, Severus was thoroughly distracted from his current troubles by thoughts of beings who emanated the deepest despair and could suck your soul out through your mouth. As Severus wiped small circles on the floor with his wet rag, he daydreamed about a time in which he would have the power to defend himself—and defend those he loved—against the evils of the world. On Sunday afternoon, with the prospect of a private conversation with Lily Evans on his horizon, Severus was sure to arrive at the bridge a little before six o’clock. He leaned against the stone wall of the bridge, twiddling his fingers. “Hiya, Severus,” Lily said. She seemed in a much better mood today, bouncing on the balls of her feet; maybe it was the absence of her stern sister. “Hola, Lily.”“Here, follow me.” She motioned for him to follow her, not across the bridge, but off to the side toward the greenery which grew on the steep bank of the river. Severus followed. There was a faint track—trampled grass really—but in a hundred feet or so it led to a copse of trees with a flat space in the middle, room enough for a few children to sit together. Lily took a seat in the grass and patted the ground next to her, indicating Severus should join. He didn’t hesitate to sit. “I told my parents what you said. They think I’m crazy. But I also think they might believe me. None of us can explain what I can do any other way.” She let out a laugh and shook her head. “At least they aren’t trying to take me to any more doctors. What a disaster.”“What are doctors?” asked Severus. “What, you mean you’ve never been to the doctor? You know, it’s where you go when you’re sick. And sometimes to get checked over. They give you shots.”“Oh, el médico. I haven’t been.” His mother had always tended to his minor injuries with either her wand, a few dabs of potion, or a quick embrace. But Lily was plowing on; it seemed like she was as eager to talk to him as he was to her. “It was awful. They didn’t know what to do with me. Told mum and dad I was trying to get attention. That I was neurotic. Thankfully mum and dad didn’t buy it, but we have been muddling through waiting for an answer to fall from the sky . . . I guess it popped out from behind a bush instead.” She gave him a nudge and winked. Severus felt his heart skip a beat. “So this world, tell me about it. Tell me everything.” Lily stared at him with hungry eyes. Severus began with Hogwarts, it was where they were headed after all. Then he told her about the larger magical community; that there were witches and wizards living in secret in every corner of the globe. Lily was a wonderful audience. She was thoroughly impressed with even the most mundane details. Her green eyes grew rounder and rounder. Finally Severus slipped her a question hoping to shift the focus of their conversation from magic to her. “Have you always lived here?” he asked. “No, we moved a few years ago from Liverpool. My dad lost his job and we came here so he could take a new one. My mum got a job as well—at the textile mill.”“You’re mamá has a job?” This was surprising news; Severus didn’t have much experience with other families, but his impression of mothers was that they stayed home and cared for their children. “Yup, she’s an independent thinker.” Lily smiled and swept her hair over her shoulder. “She thinks it’s really neat, what I can do. And if I get to go to Hogwarts, she’ll be so excited for me. Dad too.”“What about your sister?” “Petunia, she’s a bit . . . square. You know, she likes things prim and proper. Not me. You should see my bedroom. It’s a right mess.” Lily laughed again. Severus didn’t think he had ever been around someone who laughed as easily as Lily. His parents were both quiet, his father brooding, his mother stoic. Lily was the opposite, energetic and unreserved. Before he knew it, dusk was falling. He leapt up. “Oh no, I have to go. I’m going to be in so much trouble.”“What? Wait, can we do this again? I still have so many questions.”“Sure, are you free after school? We can meet any day you want.” Severus was desperately trying to leave and also desperate to arrange more meetings with Lily. “I’m free most days—let’s say Wednesday. And I’ll see you at school.” “But we can’t talk at school! Someone might overhear.” “I only meant we don’t have to completely ignore each other. I mean . . .” Lily paused, looking embarrassed. “I wasn’t trying to ignore you before, you just don’t draw attention to yourself.”“I like it that way.”Lily nodded. “Okay, Wednesday then. Bye.”Severus gave her a quick wave as he hurried away. Sure enough, when he closed the front door behind him, he met an irate Tobias. The familiar stench of cheap whiskey washed over Severus as his father bore down upon him. “Where have you been, boy? I thought I told you to be home by eight. It’s nearly nine.” His father’s words were slightly slurred.“Sí, papá, I was out by the river. I lost track of the time.”
I am nothing. I am no one. I do not exist.
Severus tried to skirt around his father’s large frame, but he was caught by the scruff of his over-large coat. “I haven’t got time to traipse up and down the countryside after you, lad. You get your arse home when I tell you too or suffer the consequences.” And before Severus could respond his father’s fist plowed into the side of his face. Pain lanced through his head and lights popped behind his clenched eyelids.“Papá!” Severus shrieked. Eileen came scurrying from the kitchen and saw her son clutching the side of his face, Tobias panting in rage.
I am nothing. I am no one. I do not exist.
“Stop right now, Toby!” Eileen grabbed at Severus and tried to pull him away from his father’s grasp. “Get back, woman, it’s about time this boy learned some respect.” Eileen was frantically trying to insert herself between Severus and Tobias. Severus was also fighting to get free of his father. Tobias responded by reigning his free fist down on both of them. He caught Eileen in the nose, and Severus got another few knocks to the head.
I do not exist. I do not exist.
Eileen retreated, clutching at her nose which was dripping blood down her chin. She backed into the kitchen as Tobias continued to strike at Severus, who had brought his hands up to protect his face. “ Stupefy !” Tobias dropped like a stone and Severus fell back against the wall. Eileen stood in the doorway of the kitchen clutching her wand, one hand still on her bleeding nose. She rushed to Severus.“¿Estas bien mi amor?” Are you ok my love? Severus shook slightly and tears poured from his eyes. His head and face were throbbing. No doubt he would have bruises to commemorate this confrontation. His mother gingerly assessed his state, speaking in quiet Spanish. “Here, let me see.” Eileen turned her son’s face gently from side to side and tsk’d under her breath. “Nothing I can do about the bruising. Though a cold cloth may help.”Severus—who was regaining his wits—was suddenly furious. “Now you pull your wand? I’m sick of this, of him,” Severus shouted in Spanish. “I’m sick of you sitting around taking his abuse. We don’t deserve this. That isn’t happening to me again. You might not fight back, but I sure will.”Severus pushed roughly past Eileen and stomped up the stairs. He heard his mother say “Episkey” before he slammed the door of his tiny bedroom. Lily was true to her word and didn’t openly acknowledge Severus at school, but she did give him several concerned glances, likely due to the bruising on his face. When Wednesday finally arrived, Severus found Lily at the bridge looking tense.“Blimey, Sev . . . What happened to your face?” Severus’ heart skipped a beat at the casual nickname. “It’s nothing, just a fall.”Lily shook her head. “Nope, not going to work on me. I had a friend in Liverpool—her dad liked to drink and he beat her up real good sometimes. She’d show up, looking like —” Lily gestured to his face. Severus sighed. “Yeah, ok. It was mi papá.” But he didn’t elaborate. Lily pursed her lips. “Is this the first time or does it happen often?”“He usually goes after mi mamá.” Severus kept his response vague and hung his head. “Hmmm.” Lily reached her hand out toward his face, but before her fingers reached his cheek she paused and dropped the hand. “Are you going to be okay?”Severus gave her a firm nod. “Yes, come on.” And they walked again to the copse of trees. “Tell me about magic,” Lily requested. “What about magic?”“Why can some people do it and others not?” Severus shrugged. “It tends to run in families. But not always.”“How does Hogwarts find me, since my family isn’t magical?”This was a true mystery. “I have no idea. Maybe they have a way to trace magic.”The children proceeded to spend the afternoon theorizing about pieces of the magical world that were mysteries to both of them. Severus was making a mental list of questions to ask his mamá. When they parted ways, they agreed to meet again on Sunday evening. Severus hurried home. During the evening meal he peppered his mother with new questions. His father chewed in broody silence. “How do they find the children who attend Hogwarts?” he asked. Eileen swallowed and said, “The Ministry has a way to track all magical activity. They know if there is magic being performed in a general area. It alerts them to the sporadic magic of small children or illegal magic by children with wands.”“It is illegal for children to do magic?”Eileen nodded, but seeing the concerned look on Severus’ face she said, “Only children with wands. Children who know how to control their magic.”Severus mulled this thought over. Lily could control her magic already; he had witnessed the acts himself. Was she breaking the law? Was the Ministry going to get her into trouble?“What happens if you do illegal magic?”“Why are you worried about this my love?” Eileen gazed at him over her plate. “For kids, they send a letter to their parents. And if it continued, they might be expelled from school.”“They don’t send you to Azkaban, do they?”Eileen gave her son a searching look. “No.”Severus felt some tension release from his shoulders. No one could expel Lily for using magic, she wasn’t even enrolled in school yet. But he would have to tell her to try to reign in her use of magic in the meantime. He didn’t want anything bad to happen to her. At their next rendezvous, Severus wasted no time informing Lily of his newly acquired knowledge. The leaves of the surrounding trees broke the sunlight into dappled patterns on the trampled grass and their clothing. Severus had removed his large coat and had spread it out for him and Lily to sit on. They both fit easily—sitting cross legged—facing each other. “And the Ministry can punish you if you do magic outside of school, you get letters.”“But I have done magic outside school!” Lily gasped. “We’re all right. We haven’t got wands yet. They let you off when you are a kid and can’t help it.” Severus, who had been picking at a stray thread on the jacket, threw Lily a quick glance. He knew from her troubled expression this didn’t quite align with her experience of magic. She most certainly could help it. “But once you’re eleven,” he continued, “and they start training you, then you’ve got to go careful.”Lily was quiet. She reached over and picked up a fallen twig, twirling it between her fingers. With a small wave she brandished the twig. Severus imagined sparks trailing from the tip.Lily leaned toward him, so close her breath tickled his face when she spoke. Her eyes were huge, only inches from his. “It is real, isn’t it? It’s not a joke? Petunia says you’re lying to me. Petunia says there isn’t a Hogwarts.”It took Severus a moment to unscramble his brain with Lily so close, then he whispered, “It’s real for us. Not for her. But we’ll get the letter, you and me.”“Really?” Lily whispered back. Her emerald eyes were absolutely mesmerizing. “Absolutamente,” he breathed. Lily sucked in a loud breath and leaned back. Then she shifted to lie on the ground, placing her hands behind her head. “Will it really come by owl?” Lily asked, studying the canopy above. “Normally, but you’re muggle-born, so someone from the school will have to come and explain to your parents.”“Does it make a difference, being muggle-born?”Severus had never thought about this before. He had never known any other witches or wizards; his mother never spoke of her parents. They were alive, but for some reason Eileen pretended they weren’t. He honestly didn’t know if it made a difference. His own observations of Lily told him she was brimming with magic, regardless of her parentage. “No,” he said. “It doesn’t make a difference.”“Good.” “You’ve got loads of magic. I saw that. All the time I was watching you . . .” his voice trailed away. Lily’s eyes had fluttered closed. He took the opportunity to search her freckled face, from the gentle curves of her nose to her pink lips, her round cheeks and red arched eyebrows. Speckled with sunlight, Lily was beautiful. And Severus did not know why this mattered so much to him, but it did. “Eres perfecta,” he breathed, he couldn’t help it. Lily seemed not to have noticed. “How are things at your house?”Severus furrowed his brow. He did not want to talk about the happenings of his house with this majestic creature before him. “Bien. I mean fine.”“They’re not arguing anymore?” She looked over at him.“Oh sí, they’re arguing. But it won’t be long and I’ll be gone.” He had picked up a handful of fallen leaves and was tearing them apart absentmindedly. “Doesn’t your dad like magic?”“No le gusta mucho nada,” Severus said. He doesn’t like anything much. “Severus?”“Sí.”“Will you teach me some Spanish?”Severus smiled. “Sí. We have all year.”Lily nodded. “Sev?”His smile widened. “Sí.”“Tell me about the dementors again.”The boy’s face instantly fell. “What do you want to know about them for?”Lily looked concerned. “If I do magic outside of school —”“Dios mío, they wouldn’t give you to the dementors for that! Dementors are for people who do really bad things. They guard the prison Azkaban. You are not going to end up in Azkaban, you’re too . . .” But his voice trailed away in embarrassment. Severus shredded more leaves. Then a rustling noise behind them made both of them whip around. “Tuney!” said Lily in surprise. Severus leapt to his feet. “Who is spying now!”“What is that you’re wearing, anyway? You’re mum’s blouse,” Petunia said, pointing to Severus’ long white shirt. Severus felt rage well in his chest and before he could restrain it, it spilled out into the surrounding air.There was a loud crack! One of the branches of the tree canopy broke and came crashing down, hitting Petunia on the shoulder. She let out a cry and staggered back, bursting into tears. “Tuney!” Lily jumped up, looking in shock between her sister and Severus. Petunia turned and retreated through the foliage. Lily rounded on Severus. “Did you make that happen?”“No.” But he was certain he had. The thought was both terrifying and inspiring. “You did! You hurt her!” Lily was backing out of the clearing, moving the way her sister had gone. “No, no lo hice.” Severus held up his hands innocently before himself. But Lily gave him a scathing look and turned, running from their secluded oasis. “¡Joder! Otra vez no.” Severus ground his teeth. It had been a long time since he had sporadically used magic. And while he was most displeased with how Lily had reacted to his accident, it gave him a glimmer of hope that if his father got it in his mind to come after him again, he might have a chance at fighting him off. His mother might be opposed to using magic to defend herself, he was not. And until he had a wand, what could anyone do about it?Severus draped his large coat around his shoulders and slouched home. They hadn’t specified their next meeting, but Severus turned up at the bridge the following Wednesday, and to his great relief, found Lily waiting for him. It seemed despite hurting her sister, Lily was as drawn to Severus as he was to her. She gave him an icy scowl, arms crossed, and said, “Tuney was really upset. It had better not happen again.”“It won’t,” Severus said softly, shaking his head. “Promise?”“Lo prometo.”“Then spit on it.” And much to Severus’ dismay, Lily spit into the palm of her right hand then held it out to him. He figured the best course of action was to follow suit right away, and did. Their palms made a squelching noise as they gripped each other’s hands. It was the very first official pact formed between them. But Severus soon learned Lily was something of a pact fanatic. Over the following year, she initiated several more ‘spit promises’ as he referred to them. After promising to never hurt Petunia again, Severus also promised to tell Lily if his father attacked him. Thankfully this did not occur, though Eileen still saw her fair share of abuse. Lily wanted to learn Spanish. So they promised to only speak in Spanish on Wednesdays, which dramatically limited their conversations but also made them far more amusing. Lily stumbled over the words and Severus tried to convey with his hands and body exactly what he was trying to say. In January they both celebrated their eleventh birthdays. Now they were eleven it was only a matter of time . . . The school year passed quickly, drew to a close and summer began. Lily showed up to the bridge one day absolutely bursting with excitement. Professor McGonagall, Deputy Headmistress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, had paid her, Lily Evans, a personal visit. “Severus, estoy tan contenta!” Severus, I am so excited! “Ella es la que me dio la carta.” She gave me the letter. Lily was beaming, clapping her hands and hopping around. Severus knew she was desperate to say more, but it was a Wednesday, and her Spanish was limited. He smiled back at her. “It is so exciting, Lily.” The next time they met—and Lily could fully express her enthusiasm in English—she described the entire event down to the minute details. “And then she waved her wand and turned her tea cup into a gerbil! Sev, it was the most incredible thing I have ever seen .” Lily was shaking her head in disbelief. “You should come round my place, mi mamá does little stuff like that all the time.” Then his face fell. “I mean, no, you can’t come round. But wait until we are at Hogwarts, you will see stuff like that every day.” Lily looked at him seriously. “Sev, we’ll still be friends at Hogwarts right? I mean, I know about the houses. It sounds like there is a chance we will end up in different ones . . .”Lily’s look turned pleading. Then she scooted toward him. “Promise me, promise me no matter what we will always be friends.”Severus wasted no time in responding, first spitting into his palm and holding it out to her. “Always.”Lily spit, and they shook—slick hands clasped and eyes locked on each other. Severus Snape sent up a silent thanks to the sun, moon, and stars for guiding him to his best friend, Lily Evans.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Chapter I
A Little Snake
“Mamá, van a llegar enseguida.” Mamá, they are going to be here any minute. Severus was standing outside his tiny home on August the thirty-first, 1972, his large second hand trunk at his side. He had last seen his mother in the kitchen, desperately trying to stuff as many bocadillos de jamón serrano as would fit into a brown lunch sack for him to take on his voyage. The Evans’ had kindly offered to bring Severus along with them to London this year, and Eileen had accepted the offer straight away. Since Severus went off to Hogwarts one year ago, his mother had taken up a small side job as a seamstress. Their family now had a little extra money coming in, but Eileen was busier than ever. Severus didn’t mind. He’d always been able to take care of himself. She told him she would be able to complete half a dozen jobs in the time it would have taken her to drop him off at King’s Cross. An orange Ford Cortia rounded the corner and stopped in front of Severus’ house. Lily’s father was driving and he gave a short double honk, even though Severus was already standing on the curb.“Ya voy, ya voy,” he heard his mother call from inside. She came rushing out the front door holding the bulging paper sack. Severus heaved an internal sigh. But took the bocadillo de jamón serranos and kissed his mother on the cheek. “Have a good year, my love. I’ll see you next summer.” “Gracias, mamá. Te quiero.” Thank you, mamá. I love you. Eileen hurried back inside and gave a final wave before closing the front door. Severus knew she generally liked to keep visitors to a minimum. Mr Evans seemed unphased as he clapped Severus on the shoulder. “Severus, my lad. Good to see you. My you’ve grown!” It was one of those obnoxious observations adults make of children, yet Severus knew Mr Evans was well intentioned. He likely had shot up an inch or two since the Evans’ had seen him getting picked up on Platform Nine and Three-Quarters in June. Although he went round to Lily’s on occasion, her parents were always at work.Mr Evans heaved Severus’ worn trunk into the boot of the car. Severus scooted into the back seat, bag of sandwiches cradled in his lap. “Hello, Severus, darling.” Mrs Evans turned and smiled warmly at him. She actually looked very little like Lily, who strongly favored her father with his red hair and freckled complexion. But her wide face was the same shape as Lily’s, both had short noses. And her eyes were green, though Lily’s were far more vibrant. “Thank you for inviting me to accompany you to London,” Severus said. A year and a half in an English speaking muggle primary, plus his first year at Hogwarts had significantly lessened his accent. It was still heavy enough no one would doubt he was not a native English speaker. He glanced over at Lily with a small smile. She smirked back. “Petunia is at a friend’s for the night,” Mrs Evans said. Severus nodded, internally relieved. Petunia always looked like she smelled an extremely unpleasant scent whenever he encountered her, which was rare. Severus and Lily had spent their summer mostly outdoors in various local haunts, well away from Petunia. They had branched out from their small cluster of trees. It had felt like a well loved shirt they had simply outgrown when they visited it at the beginning of the summer. Instead, they had taken to the streets, scrubby woodlands, and back alleys scouting for new secret hideouts. They’d found a few too. The best was behind a local bakery—the smell of fresh baked goods wafting through the open windows of the building. But the alcove must have been less inconspicuous than they had thought because they were discovered after a few visits by the baker. Who, instead of chastising them, brought them each a bun and continued to do so all summer long. Severus and Lily had also thoroughly explored Hogwarts last year. They had found one nook in particular deemed neutral territory between their rival houses. It was behind a hidden door, which appeared to be a part of a large swath of wood paneling under a set of stairs near the trophy room. Hardly anyone ever came down the corridor, the trophy room being crammed full of thousands of metal relics of generations of Hogwarts student’s achievements. It mostly served as an easy detention destination for Mr Filch, who liked to keep the trophies gleaming, regardless of their lack of interest. They discovered it by complete luck, though Severus—knowing something of the sentient nature of the magic of Hogwarts—suspected the castle wanted to provide them a safe and private space. Mid-conversation, Lily had leaned against the paneled wall, and when she moved away the hidden door popped open. Only a sliver, but enough. They had been delighted to find a cozy space behind the door, large enough for two first years to stand up in with floor space for a few cushions and a small wooden crate which doubled as a low table and a storage compartment. It was truly a blessing for a Gryffindor and Slytherin who were best friends in an environment which generally frowned upon such a relationship. Severus couldn’t wait to return and perhaps add some magical enhancements this year. He was pulled out of his reverie by Lily’s voice. “Sev, Sev!”“Oh, sorry, what?”“I was asking when you went to Diagon Alley.”“We went a few days ago. It was the first time mi mamá could take time away from her work,” said Severus. “That’s right, your mother is running quite the business from home, isn’t she?” Mrs Evans asked. Severus knew she worked at the textile mill and was only too happy to have another ‘progressive’ working mother in the neighborhood. Though, as far as he knew, Eileen and Iris Evans hardly ever crossed paths. Severus nodded, then realized Mrs Evans couldn’t see him. “Yes.”“We have two rooms at the Leaky Cauldron tonight!” said Mr Evans. Both Luke and Iris were obsessed with anything and everything magical. Lily said it could be a bit much at times. She actually had to talk to them about the seriousness of doing magic outside of school; they had been eager for her to demonstrate her newfound skills when she’d returned home last summer. “You don’t mind sharing with Lily do you?” asked Iris. Severus tried to keep his voice neutral. “Not at all ma’am. As long as Lily keeps her possessions off my bed.” Lily rolled her eyes. “I’m not that messy.” “I beg to differ,” Luke said. Severus nodded solemnly. “I’ve seen your room at home, Lily. It looks like a niffler was let loose to scavenge.”“What’s a niffler?” asked Mrs Evans.“A furry little scoundrel who dismantles rooms to dig out hidden treasure,” Lily said swiftly. “Really cute though.”The day was a bit warm. They rolled the windows of the car down and enjoyed the muggle pop station cutting in and out as they wove through the English countryside. Both Severus and Lily were happy to sit back listening to the music, and to the Evans’ speculations about the Leaky Cauldron accommodations. When they arrived in London, Mr Evans navigated them to the neighborhood which housed the iconic magical establishment and they began circling nearby streets in search of a parking spot. Car parked, Severus grabbed a fresh change of clothes and his toiletries from his trunk. He saw no reason to haul the huge thing all the way into their bedroom for the night. Inside, Tom—the barman—greeted them warmly and informed them their rooms were ready, but they had best hurry to Gringotts to exchange money before the bank closed. So the four of them made their way out back. Severus and Lily had a brief but heated argument about who would get to tap the magical brick which revealed the entrance to Diagon Alley. It was settled with a game of Paper, Stone, Scissors; Lily won. Smiling smugly, she took out her wand and counted bricks, tapping the one three up and two across from the rubbish bin. They entered the Alley and headed straight for Gringotts. As the Evans’ exclaimed in excitement at perfectly mundane occurrences, Lily mouthed, “Sorry.”Severus smiled and shrugged. Their enthusiasm was contagious and far better than his mother’s rather sullen expression when they had shopped for his school goods. “It gets more expensive every year,” Eileen had said with a sigh, muttering under her breath in Spanish. “Thank goodness we have some extra money coming in. We’ll still have to buy as much as we can second hand.”Severus enjoyed seeing this world through the awed eyes of Lily’s parents. Everything took on a whole new level of mystique. Muggle money exchanged into galleons, sickles, and knuts, they stopped by Florean Fortescue’s Ice Cream Parlor and the Evans’ treated Severus to a large bowl of peanut butter ice cream with chocolate sauce. They sat outside—in the fading daylight—and watched a wide assortment of people pass by. “Did you see that man’s mustache?” whispered Mrs Evans. The man in question had a bushy mustache so long he’d braided it together under his chin and tied it off with what appeared to be a large decorative talon. “And the woman with the vulture on her hat?” Mr Evans asked. They looked at each other in wonder and disbelief that anyone could appear so bizarre.Lily and Severus enjoyed people watching as well. Thankfully—for Severus at least—they didn’t see any of his housemates. He preferred not to have to start the year off explaining what he was doing in Diagon Alley with two muggles and a muggle-born. Not that his friendship with said muggle-born was news to anyone in Slytherin house. Ice creams consumed, they made their way back to the Leaky Cauldron and were shown to their rooms by Tom. “Just give us a shout if you need anything.” He gave them a gap toothed grin. Through the open door which connected their two rooms, Severus could hear Mr and Mrs Evans. “Look, Luke, the hand towel refolded itself!” And, “Why, Iris, the view out this window is stunning—it can’t possibly be real.”Finally alone, Severus and Lily flopped back on one of the two twin beds in their room. “How did you manage to convince them to let us share?” Severus kicked his feet up and down in the air off the edge of the bed. “Ha, didn’t even have to. They suggested it. You walk on water as far as they are concerned.” Lily put on a high pitched voice. “That Severus is so polite. Sweetest boy I know.”Severus scoffed. “And they won’t even let Petunia go on a date with that bloke you told me about because he smokes?”“Tuney was furious. She can’t wait to move out, even though it’s still years away. But yeah, they see you like their own son in a way, which makes them see us more as siblings than anything else.”“I’m not complaining,” Severus said. He certainly didn’t see Lily as his sister, far from. But he was thoroughly satisfied with their bunking arrangement and was not going to criticize the Evans’ misconceptions which had gotten him there. “We certainly fight like siblings.” Lily threw an arm over to whack Severus on the stomach. “Hey, stop that! My stomach is full of ice cream,” he said in Spanish.“Ice cream you wouldn’t even share. Pig.” “You know I don’t like to share. Why did you get strawberry if you wanted peanut butter?”“I didn’t want peanut butter. I wanted strawberry.” Severus tsk’d. “¡Perdón! I don’t share ice cream, even with you.”Lily whacked him again.“¡Eh!”Lily ignored this protest. “Can you believe we are going to be second years? I am so glad we don’t have to be sorted again. That was nerve-racking.”“Sí, we arrive knowing exactly where we stand.”“And where is that, exactly?” They had tiptoed around the topic all summer, basking in their unobservable time together. “I guess we’ll have to see how antagonistic my housemates are feeling this year. We have no idea what the newspaper has been publishing on blood status fanaticism,” Severus said. “Nothing good I reckon.” Lily let out a long breath. “So we pick up where we left off last year. Eat together when we are feeling brave, study together, but only in the corners of the library, and hole up in La Sala.” La Sala—the room—was what they called their secret hideout. Severus nodded next to her. He thought back to last year, on their first morning at Hogwarts when Lily had slipped over to the Slytherin table to join Severus for breakfast. Mutterings had broken out regarding the Gryffindor intruder but no one made an obvious move against them. That evening however, Severus, and the rest of the first years, had been treated to a Slytherin 101 lecture from the two fifth year Prefects, Narcissa Black and Eddie Bennett. “Being sorted into Slytherin house is an honor,” Narcissa began. “We are the best of the Hogwarts houses, and not only because we dress the best.” There were some titterings at this proclamation. “Be sure, your housemates will often hold you to a higher standard in appearance, conduct, and achievement than your professors,” Eddie had continued. “But this is because Slytherin house is the most united of the four houses. We watch each other’s backs. And we strive for individual excellence because it reflects well on the house as a whole.”“Make no mistake,” Narcissa said, “you will be singled out, scrutinized, and targeted. When this happens, you report it to your housemates, preferably the Prefects.” She gestured to herself and Eddie. “Don’t bother with the Professors. They are all biased against us. Even Slughorn, our Head of House, has his own agenda which doesn’t include standing up for unjust treatment of his house charges. When you are attacked—and I do mean when —you try to get a description of the culprit and tell an older student. We will . . . handle it.” Eddie took over again. “Slytherins also don’t pick fights with each other in public. We have enough animosity to deal with from the rest of the school. If you take issue with something a housemate has said or done, you confront them in private . And on that note, it wasn’t missed that a lion cub felt it her prerogative to join our table for breakfast this morning. While you are of course free to eat where you choose, most of the Slytherins stick to our house table, and most of the rest of the school avoids our house table.” The Prefects were staring directly at Severus and the other first years were giving him furtive glances. As the awkward silence stretched, Severus felt it was his duty to make a statement. “That was my friend Lily. She and I live in the same town. We were friends before coming to Hogwarts and we are going to remain friends. Is it a problem if she eats with me occasionally?”Narcissa narrowed her eyes. “As we just informed you, Slytherins don’t pick fights with each other in public. That will protect you from public animosity—at least from fellow housemates regarding your friendship with Lily. But know Gryffindor and Slytherin have more than a bit of bad blood between them. It is frowned upon to fraternize with the enemy . The risk is yours to take . . .”“Severus Snape,” Severus had supplied. “Severus,” Narcissa finished, then gave a shrug. “Finally,” Eddie said, “Slytherins keep each other’s secrets. Nothing will bring such retribution down upon your head as violating this rule. It is the Slytherin covenant. What you see other Slytherins doing, or hear of other Slytherins doing, or suspect other Slytherins of doing, you keep it to yourself. You do not want to be ostracized from the house. If you can adhere to these rules, I promise Slytherin will give you the best, most loyal friends you will ever have.”Severus raised his eyebrows. He didn’t doubt a word of what the Prefects were telling them, but he did have doubts about his potential to make the best and most loyal friends he would ever have. Simply put, Severus Snape did not do friends. He only needed one friend. And he already had her. He had learned life was easier to control on your own. No one asked you probing questions. You didn’t have to let anyone else see your home. There were fewer unpredictable variables. Simple. And in Cokeworth if you looked different or spoke different it only made it easier to avoid friendship. He thought of himself as a lone sailor far out on the ocean, Lily was his ship, and together they could navigate the turbulent seas of the world. Just the two of them. Severus wouldn’t sacrifice his friendship with Lily for potential unknown entities in Slytherin. So when his housemates made derogatory comments behind closed doors, he took it. For a while anyway. Hogwarts had opened up a veritable gold mine of knowledge to be gleaned and Severus—now armed with a wand—wanted to learn to defend himself. He had studied his coursebooks the summer before first year; but being unable to actually practice any of the spells, he had arrived with little functional knowledge. The good thing about only having one friend, and especially when said friend was not in the same house, was he tended to have a lot of free time. Severus was probably the first person in the library when it opened at the beginning of term and he checked out an entire stack of books—Madam Pince staring down her beaky nose at him in curiosity. “Bit eager, aren’t you?” she had commented, but stamped his books none-the-less. Severus hadn’t bothered to respond. He devoured the books, staying up late into the night reading behind his bed hangings. Thankfully the first years had each been given a small lantern as part of their room belongings which would turn on and off with the tap of his wand. Unfortunately, the books the library provided were rather limited in the type of magic he was looking for. The first thing he wanted was to get all the Slytherins off his back about Lily. If he could intimidate them enough, maybe they would leave him alone. But that felt impossible for a first year with hardly any magical skills. After months of snide comments building a bubble of rage in his chest, he had snapped on a sixth year, Blake Crabbe. “Tell your pet lion to stop sullying the air at our table, Snape,” Crabbe had said, sneaking up from behind on an unsuspecting Severus who was crossing the common room. Severus never spent any time in the common room for this very reason. “I heard she’s a filthy mudblood too. How can you stand the stench? It would give me indigestion.”Severus had seen red, whipped his ever ready—because you never knew when you might need to at least look intimidating—wand out of his pocket and shouted “Stupefy!” Crabbe dropped like a rock, just like his father had when his mother cast the same spell at him. The common room stilled immediately. And Lucius Malfoy, a sixth year Prefect had swept over, a furious expression on his face. “Snape,” he said, “that was an unacceptable way to handle a disagreement between housemates.”Severus was still fuming, his chest heaving. “Estoy harto de que todos me digan tonterías sobre mi amigo,” he hissed in exasperation, accidentally slipping into Spanish in his fury. I’m sick of everyone giving me crap about my friend. Lucius glared down at him, clearly having no idea what he had just said. “Attacking fellow housemates is out of order.”“What are you going to do about it?” Severus said in as nasty a voice as he could muster. Then he stepped closer to Malfoy and curled his finger to beckon him closer. Malfoy took the bait, leaning down so Severus could speak softly in his ear. “I know things about you, Malfoy.” His heart was still raging but he let instinct guide him. “Things I know you don’t want getting out, even in Slytherin house.” It was a bold play, as Severus was fibbing the entire time. But he played it cool, everyone had a secret after all. He stepped back and fixed Lucius Malfoy with narrowed eyes. Keep it together, he thought. I am nothing. I am no one. I do not exist. It was the first time he had really felt like a Slytherin. Was it possible Lucius Malfoy’s face noticeably paled? He took a deep breath and let out a long, angry exhale. “Out of my sight.” It was the best possible outcome Severus could have hoped for. He scurried away, knowing his reclusive reputation was only going to get worse. The comments didn’t completely cease, but they did significantly decrease after that. And not long after, Lily and Severus had found La Sala, their room. Then they refrained from eating together as often. At Christmas, Severus had gone home and asked his mother if she had any other magical books he could have. He left out the fact he wanted to learn less than savory magic. Plenty of Slytherins spoke of the Dark Arts, always behind their common room door. But Severus wasn’t ready to admit he was interested in learning the Dark Arts. His mother had never mentioned the Dark Arts, and bringing it up to her felt wrong. He didn’t want to attack anyone, he only wanted to be left fully alone. His plan was to become intimidating enough to hold potential attackers at bay. Of course, a voice in the back of his mind said, if you ever have to actually defend Lily, knowing some good curses won’t hurt . His mother had produced a box containing all her old school books—those which were either no longer used or too advanced for his first year book list. With her permission, Severus had taken the entire box with him back to Hogwarts. After skimming through all of them, he had been most intrigued by her copy of Advanced Potion Making . In the chapter on antidotes, there was a section on Golpalott’s Third Law. It stated:
The antidote for a blended poison will be equal to more than the sum of the antidotes for each of the separate components.
Equal to more than . . . for each of the separate components, Severus turned this over in his mind. The next day he had checked out a Latin dictionary from the library. Lily and Severus stayed up late talking excitedly about all the potentials of their second year at Hogwarts. They were both curious about who the new Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor would be. “I hope we learn more advanced defensive spells,” Lily said. “Last year was great, but I’m ready to know more than how to disarm and end incantations.”“Those were two extremely helpful spells to teach us though. De-escalation is the best form of defense.” “That’s rich, coming from you. ”Severus glared at her. “When have I ever attacked anyone?” Severus hadn’t mentioned the lengths he had gone to to get the Slytherins off his back in their first year. He didn’t think it would sit well with her, and he also didn’t want to be chastised for it. He had done what was necessary and they were both better off for it. “Incluso Potter, y él se lo merece.” Even Potter, and he has it coming to him. “Sabes que entiendo lo que dices, ¿no?” I can understand you, you know. Severus gave her a sly smile. Past midnight, with the prospect of an exciting day on the horizon, they decided it was time to turn in. Severus snuggled down in his sheets and looked across the dark room to Lily, also tucked in tight. Her eyes were still open and when she spoke something was clearly on her mind.“We’re going to be okay, right, Sev?”“What do you mean?”“It’s the blood purity rubbish and our houses. I’m scared it’s going to drive us apart. Maybe not right now, but . . . eventually.”Severus thought for a few moments. “Lily?”“Yeah.”“You’re my best friend, no matter what happens in our world. You and I, we are like this.” And he held up two crossed fingers in the dark. Lily let out a small laugh. “And besides, we did a spit promise.”“Ugh, I hate you calling them that. They are not spit promises, they are binding pacts.” “With spit.” Severus smiled to himself. “Good. Night,” Lily said before she rolled over.. “Buenas noches, Lily.”They arrived at King’s Cross Station at ten thirty and proceeded through the barrier to Platform Nine and Three-Quarters. Severus felt relieved to be heading back to school, away from his awful father and his annoyingly impassive mother. They had agreed it was best he not return home for Christmas this year. He wouldn’t see the muggle world again until June. “Thank you so much, Mr and Mrs Evans, for bringing me here,” Severus said. “Of course, love, you are a dear,” Iris responded. Severus thought if she got any sweeter she would combust into a sticky pile of ice cream, but he kept the thought to himself. He stepped away from them under the pretense of reading an advertisement for tailored cloaks to give the family space to say their farewells privately. “Why, look who it is.” Severus whipped around to see the taunting faces of James Potter and Sirius Black. With a hand to his ear, Severus said, “What’s that? Oh, the Gryffindors say they are missing two fluffy kittens. Better hope they get found before they become lunch.”“I’m trembling down to my little kitten toes,” said Black. “You’d better watch your back this year, Snivellus.”“Why don’t you watch it for me, Potter? I know how used to people walking away from you you are.” “And what is that supposed to mean?”Severus took a step toward the two boys.“It means you can chase and chase and chase, but she will always walk away from you.” And he glanced over at Lily who was still hugging her parents goodbye. “You think this is about Evans?” said Potter. “I know this is about Lily,” Severus replied. “Why else would I be the only Slytherin you repetitively accost?”“All Slytherins are slime balls.”“Really, is that what he thinks?” Severus pointed at Black, who had kept quiet but was still scowling. “I know who’s joining my house this year. Are you going to start picking fights with your own family now, Black?”“You leave my family out of it; this is between you and James,” Black said.“Precisely my point.” But at that moment Lily appeared at his elbow. She gave Potter and Black scowls. “Lads, nice summer?”Potter and Black deflated a bit and both said in a resigned tone, “Yeah.”“Great, can’t wait to catch up with you at the feast tonight.” Then Lily grabbed Severus’ arm and marched them toward the train. They ended up in a compartment with some third year Ravenclaws who were too busy rehashing their summer escapades to pay them any attention. “Sev, seriously, we weren’t even on the train yet.”“They confronted me!”“But why do you make yourself such an easy target?”He lowered his voice and leaned closer. “Me estás tomando el pelo! No estaba haciendo nada, solo estaba ahí parado. Puto James Potter.” Are you kidding me! I was doing nothing, just standing there. Fucking James Potter. “LANGUAGE!”The angry part of him wanted to smack Lily upside the head and tell her he wasn’t the problem, it was her. She made him a target for those boys, Potter in particular. But Lily didn’t bash anyone behind their back, especially not members of her own house. In fact, Severus felt a kind of pleasure he was the only one she would truly lay into. Like he was the only one who meant enough to her to deserve the attention of degradation. He supposed she might get fired up at other people from time to time, but it didn’t mean the same thing. They were the only two who could fight it out, then continue to be best friends as if nothing had happened. “Lily, they just go after me ok. What am I supposed to do, curse them?” He knew he had her there. And he was smart enough to know as long as he didn’t escalate the confrontations to wands, Potter couldn’t really do any real damage. Severus didn’t want to hex Potter—not because he liked him—but because he was worried if he took drastic measures Lily would be forced to choose a side. And he knew she would choose him, which would probably ostracize her from her housemates. Yes, it was all for Lily. Or she would choose Potter and leave you, the awful voice at the back of his mind reminded him. Regardless, it was best to not force Lily to choose. “You could try ignoring them.” Severus raised his eyebrows at her. “Is that a strategy which has historically worked for you?” Lily huffed and crossed her arms. They sat in frustrated silence for a few minutes, then Lily relented. “Fine. But I don’t want to hear about you hexing any of my housemates.”“Fine.” Then he smiled, and Lily smiled. They spent the rest of the train ride working on Lily’s much improved Spanish. The first spell Severus had invented during first year was Punctro. Being a native Spanish speaker certainly didn’t hurt matters considering Spanish—as a Romance language—was derived from Latin. It took him a while to work out the perfect melding of the Latin words, sourcing them from the Latin dictionary. He had been working with punctum meaning jab or prick, and retro meaning in the back. Which word should go first? Should the words be smashed together with no alterations, or should letters be eliminated to create a new word entirely. Should he incorporate a Spanish word, or part of one? Severus studied the spells in his coursebooks and looked up their Latin roots. He kept Golpalott’s Third Law in the forefront of his mind. Equal to more than . More than words crammed together, the nature of their merging was essential. It was the more. What he concluded was there was no ‘one right way’ to invent a spell. Sometimes the spells were single words; sometimes combinations of Latin words. Sometimes a combination of a Latin word and a word from another language. The possibilities seemed endless. So instead of finding the spells Severus wanted in books, he took to inventing his own. It was complicated—especially for a first year. Once the words were meshed and produced some kind of result, his wand movement could alter the outcome of the spell. And some spells worked better nonverbally. Non-verbal spells were N.E.W.T. level spellwork, but in his experimenting, Severus discovered he had better outcomes by thinking the incantation at times, than by saying it aloud. He figured this was because some spells were designed to be non-verbal, and he would not have such luck performing his coursework non-verbally. Which was true. For example, Punctro —a verbal incantation with an upward flick of the wand—resulted in a sensation like someone was poking you in the back with their finger. Punctro —with a slight jabbing motion—resulted in the sensation of being pricked in the back by a sharp needle. Severus had confirmed these suspicions, after testing them on a small mouse he had trapped in the dungeons, on two unsuspecting Slytherin fourth years who had been lounging by the fireplace. The first victim had jumped and looked around in surprise, no doubt wondering who had poked them. The second victim let out a yelp and scratched at their back like they had been stung. The moral question of testing inventive spells on living creatures and then on fellow schoolmates was not one Severus bothered with. It wasn’t a dangerous spell. By the end of first year, Severus had invented five spells. And used one to great effect: Langlock, a verbal or non-verbal incantation. It was not intentional but the spell was powerful. Powerful enough a Finite Incantatum wouldn’t reverse it. When second year Lothar Mulciber made a snarky comment about Lily to Severus and found himself with his tongue glued to the roof of his mouth, it had taken him half the day to come skulking back to Severus who performed the non-verbal countercurse Langollire . After several more uses of Langlock on annoying housemates, Severus finally crafted the reputation he wanted for himself as someone to not be messed with. He felt having accomplished this by the end of his first year—and in a method which did not resort to violence—he had proved himself a particularly competent Slytherin. As Severus sat at his house table at the start of term feast, he thought about the success he’d had manipulating his housemates to leave him alone the previous year. Was it enough to sustain the treatment this year? By the end of first year, his dormmates acted like he was invisible. Which was perfect in Severus’ opinion. When you are invisible people slip up—say things in front of you they normally would not— because they forget you are a person with two eyes and two ears and a brain, not a flobberworm in a school uniform. The rest of the house had eventually come to ignore him as well. Though he had felt the upper years gazing at him occasionally as he’d walked the corridors or crossed the common room. He was the odd little first year with a muggle-born obsession. “Maybe she’s like, his pet?” he had overheard an upper year saying to their companion as Severus followed quietly behind them on the path back to the dormitory. He had rolled his eyes. Anyone with an ounce of intelligence would never assume Lily was a meek plaything of his. She was Lily Bloody Evans, who—as a first year—organized a school wide protest and successfully got the Board of Governors to implement a new dress code after hundreds of years of the same old standards. She was top of the year in Potions. He supposed by default he was as well, but Lily was the brilliant one. And then there was the other thing, the thing which had drawn him to Lily like a moth to a flame. Her magic was palpable. If anything, Severus felt putting a wand in her hand had limited her potential. She had as much trouble as the average first year learning spells. She wasn’t performing uncharacteristic feats of magic. Though he suspected her potions prowess was related to her otherwise untapped magical capacity. Lily always had an inkling about when things needed to be adjusted during brewing. And her impulsive deviations had never failed to produce a stellar result. He knew Lily was still toying with wandless magic, but it was only playful. He wanted to help her foster the talent into something meaningful but nothing he had come across in a book so far had even mentioned wandless magic. The hall around him grew quiet as Professor McGonagall led the line of timid looking first years into the room. Severus watched Applebee, Lewis, the first to be sorted, walk to the stool and place the hat on his head. “GRYFFINDOR!” Applebee leapt off the stool and strolled to the Gryffindor table where there were enthusiastic cheers.“Barry, Joyce,” became a Hufflepuff. And then Severus heard “Black, Regulus.” The hall fell completely silent; after other Black’s unexpecting sorting last year, it seemed the Slytherins were all holding their breath. A small boy with wavy black hair and pale skin made his way toward the stool. Regulus greatly resembled Black, though he was a bit rounder in the face and with shorter hair.The hat slipped right over Regulus Black’s eyes and after less than a second cried “SLYTHERIN!”The Slytherin table erupted in cheers and applause. Several people—most likely Regulus’ familial relations—actually jumped to their feet. Regulus’ face was completely impassive. He took the hat off his head, handed it back to Professor McGonagall and practically glided to the Slytherin table, where the cheers were still thundering. Severus snuck a glance at the Gryffindor table and could see Black with his head in his hands, Lupin and Potter on either side of him each whispering in one of his ears. Regulus was offered a seat next to Bellatrix, where he looked absolutely tiny sitting straight backed, his hands primely in his lap. He still hadn’t cracked a facial expression. The Slytherins finally settled down and Bellatrix leaned over to whisper something in Regulus’ ear. He nodded and whispered back to her. She smiled broadly and draped her arm over his shoulders. But the ceremony was proceeding and Severus turned his attention back to the sorting. “Collins, Vallery” was also added to Slytherin house. “Connor, Haven” became a Gryffindor. “Crouch, Barty.” A small boy with a mop of straw colored hair, cut in a bowl style stepped forward. The hat had barely touched Barty’s head when it shrieked, “SLYTHERIN!” Our house sure is filling up fast this year, Severus thought as he clapped for Barty Crouch. Many names later, “Lockhart, Gilderoy” was called forth. Gilderoy had perfectly styled blonde hair and a charismatic face. He was smiling unabashedly and even gave a little wave as he perched on the sorting stool. Merlin, thought Severus, here we go. Gilderoy Lockhart became a Ravenclaw, and Severus saw several groups of girls pushing each other to try and make a space for him to join their table. He shook his head in disbelief. Finally the sorting wrapped up with “Yule, Pearl.” As she joined the Ravenclaw table, Dumbledore stood to officially open the feast. “Students, it is joyous to see you again after our summer apart. I shall ask for your undivided attention after the meal, but for now, tuck in!”Food appeared on the tables, and Severus—whose bocadillo de jamón serranos felt like a distant memory—dug into the nearest dish with gusto. Lily was waiting for him in the entrance hall when the feast concluded. “Hiya,” she said. “After we get our timetables tomorrow, let’s plan our regular rendezvous.” There was a loud commotion at the doorway to the great hall and both Severus and Lily turned to see what was happening. “I told you,” Bellatrix was saying as she ruffled Regulus’ hair. “I told you all, we had nothing to worry about. Regulus is a true Black.”Regulus looked as impassive as ever. “Reg!” It was Black who shouted. “Don’t bother, Sirius. He already told me what he thinks of you and your blood traitor friends. Wouldn’t be seen dead with you.” Bellatrix let out a cackle of laughter. “All hail, the Prince of Slytherin, here to begin his reign at last!”“Regulus!” It looked as if Potter was actually holding Sirius’ arm to keep him in place. Regulus did not look at Black, he didn’t look at anybody. He walked next to Bellatrix surrounded by a crowd of upper year Slytherins. Severus thought he had never seen someone whose emotions were so locked down, and coming from him . . . well it was impressive to say the least. Lily let out a sigh. “Oh Sirius is so upset.” “Why should he be? His whole family’s been in Slytherin. So his brother is as well, not really a surprise,” Severus said. “I know, it’s just . . .” but her voice trailed away. “Anyway, tomorrow, meet at La Sala after dinner?”“A las ocho.” At eight. They nodded to each other then proceeded to their respective common rooms. The Slytherin common room was a buzz. It felt like the whole house had lingered—to do what, Severus wasn’t sure. He slipped in through the door and moved into a shadowy corner to watch the happenings unfold. “Slytherins!” Bellatrix jumped up on a table so she could be seen above the crowd. “We have royalty in our midst tonight. My baby cousin, Regulus, has taken his rightful place in our great house.”There was some cheering at this proclamation. “I know he’s only a first year, but believe me when I say he’s going to do great things in the years to come. Regulus, as a member of my family, will be treated with respect and anyone who dares to lay a finger on him, from this house or another, will answer directly to me.” Some low mumbling broke out, but it was quickly cut off with Bellatrix’s final statement. “This is my last year at Hogwarts, then I’m off to do bigger and better things in the world. But sleep easy knowing I will leave the house in competent hands.” And with a coy smirk she gestured to her side, where Regulus was evidently standing next to the table. Severus felt it was a bit presumptuous for Bellatrix to declare her cousin, a first year, was going to take over her role as unofficial queen of Slytherin house. Shouldn’t the unofficial title pass to her sister, Narcissa? But then again, Narcissa and Bellatrix didn’t always see eye to eye on things. If Bellatrix was so confident in Regulus, he must have given her some iron clad reason for being so. Severus felt an involuntary shiver run through his body; the whole Black family was weird. He was glad he had so little to do with them. Black could be terribly annoying, but he was really no worse than a moody dog—all bark and no bite. Bellatrix, on the other hand, had a reputation for some very questionable manipulation tactics. He supposed everyone worshiped the ground she walked on because they were actually terrified of her. He certainly didn’t want to get on her wrong side, and in light of this, Severus decided he would try to stay as far away from Regulus Black as he could.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Chapter II
Returning to Lessons
Staying far away from Regulus lasted all of ten hours. When Severus left his dorm room the following morning, he almost ran right into the first year in the narrow corridor. “Sorry” he murmured. Then, seeing who he had nearly collided with apologized again.Regulus gave him a withering look and proceeded down the hall. If Lily had been there, Severus would have exchanged a knowing look with her but he was—as usual—alone. He brushed off his robes and continued to the great hall for breakfast. Timetables were passed out by Professor Slughorn, though no lessons would take place. It was Saturday the students had the whole weekend ahead of them before classes began on Monday. Severus wished Lily had suggested meeting earlier in the day, but he also knew they had just spent an entire summer together, not to mention most of the last few days. She likely wanted to catch up with her Gryffindor housemates. Lily may not have been the most popular girl in school, but she was far more social than him. Severus grumbled to himself for a few minutes before remembering he could do magic again! Feeling extremely sheepish for not realizing this earlier, he hurried to the library for a Latin dictionary. Then grabbed his wand, parchment, and a quill from his dorm before proceeding out onto the grounds in search of a nice tree to perch under while he worked on his next spell. “Finally. What kept you?” Severus asked.Lily entered their secret nook looking a bit breathless. “Sorry, the girls and Grey were plotting a prank on the boys. I told them they had to wait for me to get back before continuing.” “You mean Potter and Black?” Severus asked with narrowed eyes. “Yeah, and Remus and Peter, all of them.”“Humph.”“Oh don’t be difficult. It’s all a joke to them—like flirting.”This made Severus’ eyes bulge. “Who’s flirting?”Lily gave him a shove in the cramped space. “No one! And even if they were, why would you care?”“I don’t. Not about them.” He didn’t meet Lily’s eyes as he said it. “Look, let’s forget it. I’ll be on time in future, yeah?”“Fine.” “Okay, I’ve been thinking; I really want to start working on wandless magic. I know we talked about it a bit last year but I want to actually do something about it this time.”“I was thinking the same thing yesterday,” nodded Severus. “We need some information.”“Yes, I think we should start there. Track down resources.” Then Lily continued, “But I don’t think we’re going to be able to do it on our own. We need to ask someone. I mean we didn’t find anything on it last year and we both read a ton of books. Now I know this is going to sound crazy, but Sirius —”Severus let out a hiss at the name. “Stop being such a snake! Sirius has a friend in Ravenclaw who is apparently really good at creative magic. I know that doesn’t exactly fit the bill, but maybe we could start with her. Ravenclaws are supposed to be really smart after all.”“And how do you know about this friend?” “They ate lunch together every Friday last year. He wasn’t hiding it.” Severus sighed and tried not to look too grumpy.“When I brought her up to Sirius he told me all about her. She seems really nice, and helpful,” Lily nodded seriously. “Okay, so we talk to this person —”“Pandora.”“We talk to Pandora and ask her if she knows anything about wandless magic?”“Or about where we could find information on it.”Severus nodded. “Yes, it’s fine with me.”“Good, now I have a favor to ask you.”“Oh Merlin, what is it?”“It is about Regulus.”“I’m not doing anything on behalf of Sirius Black.” “Not for him, for me.”Severus took a deep breath. “What is it then?”“I want to know if he seems okay. If anything unpleasant happens to him, I want to know about it.”“Sheesh, talk about hypocritical. I’m not allowed to care about what the Gryffindors are doing but you want a play by play on the Prince of Slytherin?”“That is not what I said and you know it!” Lily rounded on him, which in the tight space was a bit intimidating. “I have a sister—who I know is a piece of work—but you’re an only child. You don’t understand sibling relationships. Sirius is the only one of the Gryffindor boys with a sibling. There is a kind of love you will never understand unless you experience it, and it is the love between siblings. They can hate each other’s guts but deep down they are allies, they look out for each other. Sirius can’t ask anyone to keep an eye on Regulus, but I can.”“So I’m your watchdog now?” “You are my best friend, who when I ask a favor should at least try and be helpful.”“What’s in it for me?”“Ugh, such a Slytherin. I don’t know. Think of it as a potential future resource. Maybe he is really nice. You could use another frie —”“Cállate, Lily.” Shut up, Lily. “I’m just saying . . . you cannot go seven years at Hogwarts with only me as your friend.”“Seeing as he isn’t in our year, I am not sure how much help I’ll even be able to be. And besides Slytherins —”“Keep each other’s secrets, I am well aware.”They fell into a huffy silence. “But I’ll do it.”“Gracias.”“How are your timetables?”They spent the rest of the time until curfew talking about their new course timetables. And similar to last year, they realized they had almost no overlapping off periods. “So it’s evenings and weekends,” said Severus. Lily nodded. “I wish we had a way to communicate, besides talking directly to each other. It would make meeting up so much easier.”Neither of them owned an owl. Though the school had plenty of owls the students could use to send post. “Maybe we can come up with something, we are smart after all,” Lily said. Severus shrugged. “Maybe.”Classes began on Monday. Severus was happy to see he only had Potions with the Gryffindors again this year. Perhaps it was intentional to keep the two houses apart as much as possible? But Double Potions happened to fall on Monday afternoon. So Severus was facing a lesson with the Gryffindors on day one of second year. The class arranged themselves in exactly the same seating pattern as they had last year. Severus was rather pleased to see the cross look on James Potter’s face when Lily sat down next to him and began taking out her supplies. Severus shot him the finger behind Lily’s back and Potter returned in kind. “Oh, ho! Welcome, second years,” Professor Slughorn boomed, drawing the class to order. “I must say after watching you brew all last year, this is a promising group of students, promising indeed.”The class gazed placidly back at the smiling Slughorn. “We are going to be doing some independent work this year, and some partner work as well. If anyone wants to change their pairings from last year, see me after class. Otherwise I will keep the same list, saves a bit of effort.“Now then, second year potions are slightly more complicated than first year potions, the ingredients lists will be longer and the brewing process more complicated. We may have a potion or two which needs to steep and cannot be finished in a class period. There is much to look forward to.“Today we are going to brew a swelling solution in pairs. Be mindful of splashes, as we don’t want to send anyone to the hospital wing to have appendages shrunk. Now if you will all turn to page forty-two of Magical Drafts and Potions you will find instructions and the ingredients list. Begin.” There was the scraping of many stools as people reached into their book bags to take out the textbook. Lily already had her book open and was reading the instructions. “Right, this is straightforward. But we should both read everything through before beginning, as always.” They sat in silence while the rest of the class began preparing ingredients and lighting their burners. When they had both read the pages, they divided up tasks. Lily began crushing nettles and puffer fish eyes while Severus cleaned and dried their cauldron. It was little things like this which made Lily such an exceptional potioneer. Severus never would have thought of residual potion altering a fresh brew. And even though the cauldrons were cleaned after each class, one could never be too certain. An extra cauldron cleaning was always Lily’s first step in brewing. Severus lost track of the time as he immersed himself in the work. Their potion was turning peach at exactly the right stage. Now the potion had to simmer for forty-five minutes. So Severus and Lily cleaned up their work space then sat back and listened to the soft conversations happening around the room. “I read it in the Prophet, another muggle-born disappearance. Which makes it the fourth one since January. This chap lived in Middlesbrough. Took them a while to notice he had vanished. No wife or kids to report him missing, but after he didn’t show up at work a few days in a row, someone went looking. No signs of a struggle, just poof, gone.”“Then he might still be alive?” “Might be, no one can say. And until they find a body, I guess they can’t confirm he died.”The two Slytherins, Carver Woodfred and Lester McCain, who sat behind Lily and Severus were talking quietly, heads together. Then they increased the volume of their voices slightly and continued.“You know, if I was a muggle-born, I would be getting nervous about the rumors going around. All these vanishings, it would be enough to drive me right out of the magical world.”“Agreed. If it was clear people didn’t want me around I would pack up my things and get out. Before something worse happened to me.”Lily acted like she couldn’t hear them, but Severus glanced back and received two sneers for his trouble. “Maybe it’s the purebloods who should be fleeing,” Potter said loudly. “After all, it’s them who are pushing the purist agenda and people aren’t going to stand for it. You watch, there will be attacks on the pureblood families soon enough. The old families are outnumbered.” “Ah, but the blood traitors won’t fight dirty. Won’t use the Dark Arts and if they don’t what chance do they have?” replied McCain. Potter leapt up from his seat. “They don’t need to use the Dark Arts to fight. You don’t fight darkness with more darkness, you fight it with light.”“It sounds like you’ve been reading the editorials our esteemed Headmaster sent to the Daily Prophet this summer. If rumors of the Dark Lord are true, Dumbledore is way out of his league,” Woodfred said. “Dumbledore is his own league!” Potter shouted. Professor Slughorn came hurrying back into the classroom from the supply closet. “Lads, what appears to be happening here?” “Potter was telling us all how fabulous our dear Headmaster is,” Woodfred said with a sneer. “Woodfred, that’s enough. Good gracious, there is no need to get so worked up.”“But Professor, he was insinuating muggle-borns —”“Mister Potter, this is a Potions lesson, not a political rally. Please take a seat and focus on your school work. Five points from Gryffindor.”No one else made a scene after this. “I’ve never seen anyone with such a hot head,” Lily whispered to Severus. “I have, look to his left.” Lily sighed. “Those two are going to get themselves in trouble.”“Aren’t you glad to have a level-headed friend like me?”Lily made a quiet sound of amusement. “Come on, let’s finish this potion.”At the end of the lesson they corked their sample, which looked textbook perfect and placed it on Slughorn’s desk for marking. “Good call adding an extra pinch of dried salamander blood,” Severus said as they packed up their belongings. “Yeah, it was a touch pale. Seemed to do the trick!” “Hiya, Lily, want to walk back with us?” Potter had sidled over to them. “No, Sev and I are —”“Going to meet a friend,” Severus finished for her. “Oh, I didn’t realize Snivellus had any other friends.” “Get stuffed, Potter,” Lily said, grabbing her bag. “But, Evans, I am so full of antagonism as it is, no room left.”“You’re a prick.” Lily squared her shoulders and stood toe to toe with Potter. “Evans, one of these days old Snivelly is going to have to stand up for himself, you can’t always —” But Lily slapped him, right across the face. Potter took a staggered step back, glasses a bit askew, clutching his cheek. “What the fu —”“What is wrong with you! I don’t know what you think is going on here”—Lily gestured between the two of them—“but that is the second time you have essentially instigated verbal abuse of Sev with no prerogative. And the school year has barely started. In case you haven’t noticed, we deal with enough antagonism from his house—you know the house full of blood purists. You are supposed to be my housemate, and attacking him is attacking me.”Potter gaped at her. Severus looked around and saw Black, Lupin, and Pettigrew standing in the doorway waiting for Potter. Black and Pettigrew looked a bit shocked; Lupin looked—could it be smug?“Lily, I didn’t — I’d never —” “Never say never, Potter.” Lily walked to the door and pushed past the other boys. Severus followed behind her, working very hard to keep his face neutral. “That complete arse, didn’t even apologize,” Lily said as she stomped up the steps. “I think he likes you,” Severus said. Lily rounded on him. “I mean he really likes you.”“That’s ridiculous, if he liked me he would be a bit nicer, don’t you think?”“He’s an idiot. It certainly isn’t the strategy I would employ. Look, I was serious, let’s go to Ravenclaw and see if we can talk with Pandora. I don’t want to do it in public.”“Yeah, good idea. And Sev, even if he does like me, I don’t like him back.”“I got that from the way you slapped him.”“I could never like an arrogant arse wipe like him.”Severus sighed—the words were like a soothing balm on raw skin—but he said, “Never say never, Lily.” They found their way to the Ravenclaw common room and knocked at the door. A girl with plaited light brown hair answered.“Hiya, we are looking for Pandora.”“I think sixth years are in lessons until dinner, but let me check.”Lily and Sev looked at each other. “I didn’t realize there were other class periods in the upper years.”“Me either,” said Severus. “But it makes sense, the teachers have a lot of classes to teach, we can’t all squeeze in between nine and four.”The girl was soon back. “She isn’t here. Do you want to write a note, I can leave it in her dormitory?”Lily and Severus scribbled a note to Pandora, to please get in touch with them privately for a chat. “I’ll see you on Wednesday at three?” asked Lily before they parted ways. “Sure, let’s go outside if it’s nice. Might as well enjoy it while it lasts.” Lily nodded in agreement. “Meet in the entrance hall then.” Severus nodded. They said farewell and he headed back down toward the dungeons. He had two more long days of lessons to get through before Wednesday at three. But at least none of them were with Gryffindors. And so far, he hadn’t been assigned any homework. He fished out his parchment with the spell he was working on—something to cast in the general area to allow people to conduct public conversations without being overheard. He was working with the words quies, silentium, and tranquillium, each in turn but had not achieved any results yet. Severus left the dorm and headed deeper into the dungeons to find a quiet place to work. There were many small rooms—he had the feeling they may have once been cells—but now they hosted wooden tables, with lamps and heat. The effect was quite cozy, and he settled into one of these, closing the door and muttering “Colloportus” to lock it. He had been messing with the words for about twenty minutes when there was a knock on the door.“Go away,” he said, not breaking his concentration. The knock sounded again. “Go away!”Knock. Knock. Knock.Severus sighed and opened the door. “What?” He had to look up—way up—into the face of Rodolphus Lestrange. But Lestrange didn’t say anything, he merely gestured to his mouth. “What?” Severus said again. Rodolphus pointed at Severus and then at his mouth and then made a bit of a ridiculous show of flailing his hands in the air, perhaps trying to demonstrate desperation. Severus heaved a massive sigh and went to grab his parchment and quill, which he shoved into Rodolphus’ hands. Rodolphus began frantically scribbling on the parchment. Then held it out to Severus. Someone got me with Langlock. I know it wasn’t you. Help! The meaning of all the pointing suddenly became clear, and Severus grabbed his wand, thinking Langollire. Rodolphus sucked in a huge breath. “Thanks. I’ve been trying to find you for hours. Someone said you came down this corridor. Had to sit through most of my classes in silence. Where did you learn that spell?”Severus suddenly became aware of how very alone he and Rodolphus were. Even though he was a seventh year, Rodolphus looked like he was at least twenty-one, muscular with angular facial features, and styled dark brown hair. Intimidating, to say the least. “I didn’t learn it. I invented it.”Rodolphus’ eyebrows shot up. “No kidding. I know a few people working on spell invention for their N.E.W.T. portfolios this year. How old are you?”“Twelve.”“Blimey, well stop spreading it around or share the countercurse. Because if other people start using it . . . it could get very quiet around here if you catch my drift.”“About that, you don’t know who got you?” Rodolphus shook his head. “Someone from another house. So it’s getting around.”Severus nodded and Rodolphus strode away. He had never considered this possibility before, that the spells he invented and used on other people would then become widely known in the school community. He supposed he had been foolish to overlook it. He had learned Stupefy from watching his mamá use it after all. And Langlock was not a particularly difficult spell to remember or pronounce. But Langlock was the sword he wielded against fellow Slytherins who took offense to Lily. If he gave away the countercurse, he would lose the upper hand with the spell. At the same time, he did not want the whole of Slytherin house trying to track him down to get their tongues loosened. Severus returned to his parchment, his Latin words, and his wand. On Tuesday afternoon, Severus had his first Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson of the year. And it was taught by a tiny witch with warm skin and dark hair she wore in a distinct hairstyle, the right side of her head buzzed with her thick hair combed over to the left. After they had all found seats, the woman introduced herself. “Welcome, Slytherins,” she said in a honey smooth voice. “My name is Professor Saaverda. I’m pleased to be your defense instructor for the year. As you are all new to me, I would like to begin by taking roll.” After she had read down the short list of second years, she picked up her wand and tapped it into her palm. “The second year curriculum will involve higher level spellwork than you did last year. I would like to gauge where each of you stand. Please take out your wands.”Severus was excited to be doing magic on the first day of the lesson. It was not always a guarantee, especially during a single period. “Miss Murray, you will go first. Please show me your competency with the finite incantatem spell.”Professor Saaverda conjured some dark smoke which hovered in front of Anica. “Finite Incantatem,” she said. The smoke vanished.“Excellent, five points to Slytherin.” Everyone demonstrated their ability with Finite Incantatem and then Expelliarmus . Professor Saaverda seemed very pleased with their wand work on the whole. The class ended up earning Slytherin house nearly one hundred points in the process. Saaverda surveyed the class. “We’re going to jump right into spellwork this term. In the winter and spring we will revisit Dark creatures and Dark artifacts. But for now, I would like to give you fair warning, that although the spells you will be learning in this lesson are not Dark in nature, they can be used in a vindictive way. That sort of behavior will not be tolerated. Any occurrence of such an offense should be reported to a faculty member immediately.”Severus rolled his eyes, all the Professors loved to tout the ‘report immediately’ line of action when it came to magic being used illegally at Hogwarts. But Severus knew the Heads of House were often biased toward protecting their own charges, and everyone was biased against Slytherin. Still, it sounded like they would be learning more useful spells this year and he was enthusiastic to begin. Professor Saaverda continued to lecture on the first spell they would tackle, the full body bind curse, Petrificus Totalus. “Next lesson, we’ll begin practicing the curse. Please come prepared having read pages 211-212 from your textbook,” Professor Saaverda told them as they packed their bags. Finally, Wednesday afternoon arrived. Three o’clock found Severus waiting for Lily in the entrance hall; the sun was mercifully shining. “¡Hola!” she said as she skipped to his side. “Let’s go out.”They walked out into the sunshine and began to stroll toward the lake. “How have your lessons been?” asked Lily. “Fine. New Defense professor seems good, but otherwise . . .”“I thought Charms was fun, making corks zoom around the room. Sirius and James used to race stuff all the time last year, it was really annoying. But now I can see why they enjoyed it.”“Yeah,” Severus said grumpily. He never liked when the conversation included the other second year Gryffindors. “Oh, I got a message from Pandora! I should have said right away. She’ll meet us this weekend, at eleven on Sunday. I figured you didn’t have anywhere else to be.”“I don’t, that’s fine.” Severus took out his wand and pointed it at a pebble on the lake shore. “Citatumotus.” The pebble shot out across the water, bouncing in small arcs.“Oh, have you ever skimmed rocks the muggle way before?” Lily asked.Severus shook his head. “Here watch.” Lily bent down and picked up a flat, round stone. She showed him how to hold it, then she whipped her arm back and flung the stone out across the lake. It bounced in smaller and smaller arcs until finally vanishing with a soft plop. “Why would I do it your way when I have this?” He held up his wand. Lily shrugged. “It’s fun! Took me forever to learn when I was younger. Although, now I think about it, I was able to skim three times as far as anyone else, even dad. Could have been some magic seeping out unintentionally.”Severus, who thought skimming rocks the muggle way was not very enticing, nodded. “Probably.”They continued to skim rocks—Severus with his wand and Lily the muggle way—until they heard shouts of laughter fast approaching. They turned to see Potter and Black plowing toward the lake, towels slung over their shoulders, dressed in nothing but swim trunks. Lupin and Pettigrew were casually strolling down the sloping lawn behind them. “A galleon says I touch the giant squid,” called Black. “Make it three but it has to lift you out of the water.”Potter and Black tossed their towels on the shore and plunged into the lake, splashing water wildly. “Ah!” Lily and Severus both cried, throwing their hands over their heads. “MERLIN’S BALLS, it’s bloody freezing!” Potter said. “Shut up you wuss,” Black said then dived under the water. He emerged spluttering. “Holy hippogriffs, fu —” But Potter had taken his distraction as an opportunity to leap right on top of Black, and they both splashed back under the water. Lily had her fist on her mouth, trying to stifle a giggle. “Vaya idiotas,” said Severus, shaking his head. “Hi, Lily, Severus,” Lupin said as he and Pettigrew approached. Potter and Black had both resurfaced and were energetically splashing water into each other’s faces while screaming. “Hiya, Remus, Peter.” Lily gave them a wave. Severus grunted. “You two not going for a swim then?” Lily asked.“Nope, I want to keep all my fingers and toes,” replied Lupin. “Because the giant squid will eat them?” Petttigrew said.“No, you dunderhead, water’s just freezing.”The four of them—and Severus was reluctant to consider himself a part of the group but there it was—stood on the shore and watched Potter and Black swim out into deeper water. They were loudly debating how to lure the giant squid. “Having a good first week, Severus?” Lupin asked, kicking at small rocks on the lake shore. Severus didn’t want to reply, but Lily reached over and poked him hard in the side. “It’s been alright.” He looked Lupin over. The other boy’s face was dotted with freckles and thin scars. Severus knew he was weird. Had to be, to be best friends with Black and Potter. And he was not keen to continue this socialization any longer than was strictly necessary, but also didn’t want to leave Lily so soon. They had hardly spent thirty minutes together. “Vamos a otro sitio, Lily,” he said. Let’s go somewhere else, Lily. “Where are you from then, Severus?” said Lupin.Feeling more antagonistic by the second, Severus wanted to grab Lily’s hand and flee the scene. But Lily gave him a look, so he said, “Mi mamá grew up in Spain. Her family was back and forth between England and there while she was at Hogwarts. She moved back to Spain after she graduated, and I lived there until I was nearly ten.” Then he gave Lily a very wide eyed, pointed look.But she smiled serenely at him. “Sev taught me Spanish when we were still in muggle primary. He’s a good teacher.”Despite his annoyance, Severus felt his cheeks turn pink at the compliment. “Tidy,” said Lupin, nodding. “I wish I knew more languages. Sirius said he would teach me French, but I think I have enough to manage with school work.”There was a sudden yelp from out in the water and everyone turned to see Black flailing in the clutches of a giant grey tentacle. “Oi!” Potter shouted, but there was clearly nothing he could do. There was no need for concern. After wiggling a bit, the tentacle lowered slowly back into the water and Black was released. “Aha! Three galleons to me!” he cried. The two of them started swimming back toward the shore, which was the final straw for Severus. “Me voy. ¿Nos vemos el domingo?” Severus said to Lily. I’m going. See you on Sunday? “Sure, we can have breakfast if you want.” “Breakfast on Sunday then.” Severus didn’t bother saying farewell to the other two; he turned on his heel and marched back toward the castle. “Sorry,” he heard Lily apologize to Lupin and Pettigrew. “Probably best for him not to be around those two.” Severus hunched his shoulders and clenched his jaw as he heard Black and Potter come to shore. “Did you see that! Lifted me right up in the air.”He increased his pace and before too long was back in the entrance hall with plenty of time to spare before dinner.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Chapter III
Dark Magic
The rest of the week’s classes passed quickly enough. Severus enjoyed practicing Petrificus Totalus in D.A.D.A. He had partnered with Calista Plume. He still had rather indifferent relationships with most of his peers, but she at least seemed willing to work with him in lessons. It had been so last year as well. Professor Saaverda had conjured a fluffy feather mattress for each student to stand on; when they were hit, they would keel over, stiff as a board in whatever position they were frozen in. The problem was—as usual—unexpected results sometimes occurred from improper pronunciation or wand movements. This was the reason Montigue was sent to the hospital wing with a large turtle shell protruding from his back. And why Anica Murray had to be tended to by Professor Saaverda when she found herself hovering twelve inches off her mattress, unable to descend. Even with those setbacks, the class as a whole showed skill with the spell, which prompted Saaverda to award them twenty points. But did not stop her from assigning them a comprehensive essay on the full body bind curse, method, effects, uses, and limitations.By the weekend, Severus had a few pieces of homework to complete which he wasn’t sorry for.On Saturday, he was working in one of the study rooms in the dungeons when he heard a knock on the door. Not again, he thought. But he quickly went to answer this time. He found himself face to face with not only Rodolphus but Bellatrix, and behind them were crowded several other Slytherin seventh year faces: Lucius Malfoy—a sneer on his pale face—Blake Crabbe, and Antonin Dolohov.
“Hello, Severus,” Bellatrix said, peering at him from her heavily lidded eyes. Her dark, sleek hair was down, as she typically wore it, making her regal in appearance.
Severus narrowed his eyes at them. He knew this group had a rough reputation, even if Lucius was a Prefect. And he certainly didn’t want to give them a reason to antagonize him, they had been some of the worst snide hecklers of Lily last year.
“I’d like to have a word.” Bellatrix said, quickly examining her long painted nails.
“Go ahead.”
“Privately.” Severus didn’t think it possible all five towering seventh years would fit into his study chamber, but he backed himself in and moved to the far side of the table. They squeezed around the table. Dolohov pulled the door shut with a loud snap and Severus felt a cold sweat break out on his palms. “Lestrange told us about your impressive spell work. You invented the Langlock curse, if I am not mistaken?” Bellatrix said. She spoke as the figurehead of this group, which wasn’t surprising as she acted like the queen of the entire house. “And what do you care?” Severus asked. “Goodness child, did your parents not teach you manners?” “I’m not a child.”Bellatrix laughed softly. “You show promise, which is why I want to extend an invitation to you.”Severus grew skeptical at once. He was the pariah of Slytherin house; he knew it, owned it, was left well alone for it. Goosebumps rose on the back of his neck and he clenched his hands into fists. “Mabon is in a few weeks. We haven’t seen you attend any festivals before. They are . . . quite enjoyable. I’d like you to join us.” Severus knew many of his housemates celebrated the cyclical festivals several times per year but he knew nothing more. It felt like a big risk, walking into the unknown. “What exactly does it entail?” he asked. “Oh a little of this, a little of that.” Bellatrix flipped her hand through the air. “Just a fun night out with friends .” “Do I have a choice?” Severus looked around at all the intimidating faces scrunched into the room. “Of course you have a choice. If you choose not to come, then we will choose to make life hell for you, little snake,” Bellatrix said. He stared into her dark eyes. And then Severus felt something he had never felt before. It was like something was slithering into his mind and grasping for purchase, trying to find something to pry open. It felt incredibly invasive. Severus reacted on instinct, averting his eyes. I am not here. I am nothing. I do not exist. The words filled his consciousness. He pushed back, closing down as much as he was capable. It was her—Bellatrix was doing this mind probing to him—but it was silent and wandless and not nice. He didn’t look directly into her eyes again. The sensation vanished. And Bellatrix gave no indication anything odd had transpired between them. “What do you say?” “Fine, I’ll go,” replied Severus. “September the twenty-second. Meet us in the common room at ten in the evening. Until then . . .” Mercifully, Antonin had already opened the door and the huge boys were filing out. Bellatrix was last to leave, shooting him a wide grin before she shut the door. Severus let out a long breath. He would deal with the festival when it arrived, but what had the probing sensation been? It felt as if Bellatrix had tried to climb into his skull. She hadn’t even lifted her wand. But a voice at the back of his mind told him something important—it seemed he had somehow kept her out. On Sunday, Severus may have put extra effort into choosing his wardrobe, but he wouldn’t have admitted it to anyone. He made his way to the great hall and found Lily waiting for him by the open doors. She snapped the book she had been reading shut and stepped forward to meet him.“Can I . . . can I give you a hug?” she asked. They didn’t normally hug. Severus had made it clear he was not a touchy-feely person at the onset of their friendship, because Lily definitely was. He tolerated her looping her arm through his; and he actually felt secret pleasure when she discreetly held his hand, which was not often. “Sí.” Lily wrapped her arms around him and he reciprocated, rather awkwardly. Lily smelled quite amazing. But they were in a very public place and Severus’ instincts got the better of him, he stepped back quickly. She grabbed his hands. “Look, I’m really sorry about the other day. I wanted to spend more time with you, but . . .” Lily’s look was pleading, as if she wanted him to read the rest of the sentence from her mind. He raised his eyebrows at her. “But,” she continued, “I’m trying to get to know my housemates better this year. I like having other friends. It doesn’t mean I care any less about our friendship.”Severus pursed his lips. He knew Lily had other friends—of course she did. And she had every right to want to get to know her housemates better. But the thought did not bring him joy. Especially when some of those housemates included the likes of James Potter and Sirius Black. “Let’s go eat, we can talk more about it later,” she said after a long silence. They went into the great hall and found places at the end of the Slytherin table. Lily knew Severus flat out refused to sit at the Gryffindor table. The single exception being the day of the dress code protest last year when—as the sole Slytherin male participant—Lily wanted to keep him as protected from his housemates as possible.Weekend breakfast hours were longer, almost stretching into lunch, as no one had scheduled classes to attend. They lingered over tea until it was time to meet Pandora at eleven. “Where are we meeting?” asked Severus. “Entrance hall. She said we could potentially find an empty classroom.” Lily said as they walked out of the great hall.They waited in the entrance hall and were soon approached by a tall blonde girl with slightly protuberant eyes, rosy cheeks, and a warm smile, wearing bright loose pants and a red jumper. Her hair was so long, it reached to her lower back. And it was woven with all sorts of colorful beads and charms.“Lily and Severus?” she asked.“That’s us, you must be Pandora. I recognize you from eating with Sirius; he’s in our year.”“Sirius is a darling.” Pandora held out her hand to Lily, who shook. Then to Severus. He obliged with a scowl; he wasn’t sure he could get along with someone who referred to Black as a ‘darling.’But Pandora wasn’t in Ravenclaw by accident. “And you must be a Slytherin.” “So?” Severus said. “Just making an observation, most of the school is infatuated with that boy, all except the Slytherins who loathe him. You must be in the latter category.”“Severus and Sirius don’t see eye-to-eye,” Lily said. “Let’s find a place to sit shall we? There are some empty classrooms on the fifth floor, one of those will likely be available,” said Pandora, and ushered them toward the marble staircase. They did find a room. Pandora closed the door then cast a silencing charm on it when they were inside. “What was that spell?” asked Severus.“Silentium Maxima?” Pandora replied. “Of course, it’s O.W.L. level, you wouldn’t have heard it before.”“No, but people use it all the time don’t they? How does it work?”“It needs an enclosed space, like a room, it can also be applied to say your bed with the curtains drawn.”Severus found a seat at one of the many empty desks. “Can you teach me?”“Sure, I can try. It’s really useful. There are so many practical spells you don’t learn until you’re older. And I have to say, knowing them as a younger student would make life a bit easier.” They sat facing each other.“They should make a course on it,” Lily said. “Practical Magic!”Pandora let out a melodic laugh. “If the spells weren’t so advanced, they probably would. So, what can I help you two with? Your note was rather vague.”“Right,” said Lily. “We’re trying to learn about wandless magic. And we can’t find anything in the library, we’ve been right through. Sirius said you like to experiment with magic, so we figured we’d ask your advice.”“Wandless magic, you mean Blood magic?” Pandora raised her eyebrows. Lily and Severus shrugged. Severus decided to explain the situation further. “Lily has been able to do wandless magic for a while now. She started before we even met, which was over a year before we came to Hogwarts. Maybe don’t mention that to anyone?”“Of course, I’m happy to keep your interests between us.” “But no one at Hogwarts teaches wandless magic,” Lily said. Pandora gave them an appraising look. “That’s because it’s Blood magic, Dark magic.” “What? I’m not doing anything Dark!” Lily’s eyes grew enormous and her face turned red. “It’s okay, Blood magic has always had roots in Dark magic. And some of it is pretty Dark, but not all. Wandless magic draws on the magic in your blood and instead of channeling it through a wand, you channel it through your body. It can be used in a Dark way, but it doesn’t have to be. Wandless magic is a really obscure branch of Blood magic. Are you familiar with the different types of magic?”“No,” Lily said. “Sort of,” said Severus. “There are six: Light, Dark, Earth, Wild, Blood, and Soul. None of them are inherently bad, but some have less pleasant reputations. Hogwarts is steeped in a Light magic bias, which is due to our current Headmaster. Previous Headmasters had slightly more flexible views, but Professor Dumbledore has a rigid stigma against the Dark Arts.”“But the Dark Arts, I mean they’re evil,” Lily said.“There is an important distinction between the Dark Arts and Dark magic. Dark magic is not always used in evil ways. But the Headmaster would like you to believe it is,” said Pandora. “Gryffindors tend to have the strongest anti-Dark attitudes of all the houses. They often see in black and white: Dark is bad, Light is good. The rest of the houses fall more on a spectrum of seeing things in grey. Slytherin and some of Ravenclaw would be at the further end.”Severus nodded; he definitely understood what Pandora was saying. It was something he had tried to explain to Lily a few times, but had ultimately given up. “So what you’re saying is we need to be looking for information on Blood magic to learn more about wandless magic?” asked Lily. “Yes, and you won’t find anything in the general Hogwarts library to give you information about Blood magic.” Pandora tapped her fingers rhythmically on the desk. “I mean even in the restricted section, I doubt there would be much. As I said, it’s considered Dark magic. Taboo.”Lily and Severus exchanged disappointed looks. “Your best chance would be your housemates,” Pandora said to Severus. “Lots of Slytherins bring banned books to the castle. Some Ravenclaws do as well, but I don’t think anyone has access to written magic resources like the old pureblood families. Anyone with a massive estate or an old family home—they will have an established, very valuable personal library.”“Who would that be?” Lily looked at Severus.He shrugged. “The Lestranges, the Malfoys, the Blacks . . .”“Sirius!” “Absolutely not. Now we know we’re looking for Dark Arts materials, we cannot tell anyone in Gryffindor. Weren’t you listening before? And Black, he hates the Dark Arts.”Pandora gave them a funny little smile, then she cleared her throat and said, “There are people from all those families you could approach in Slytherin, Severus. But I would try to stay discreet.”“Being discreet is written into our house etiquette.” “What about the other types of magic?” asked Lily. “Do we learn about them when we get older?”“Only pieces. Each type would take an entire lifetime to study, and some people do. I believe it’s something the Department of Mysteries at the Ministry is responsible for researching. However, if you want real knowledge, you find the other seekers. There are witches and wizards whose families have been studying the different types of magic for generations. You just have to know who to ask. My boyfriend and his family are obsessed with Soul magic. In fact it’s best not to bring it up because you’ll be stuck listening to him for days.”“Must be really interesting though,” Lily said. “Sometimes, it’s a lot of speculation and a lot of stretching circumstantial evidence to try and justify belief as fact. I’m not fussed about it, if I’m honest. I like thinking about how the physical world works, not dissecting ancient legends for far fetched suspicions.”“What does your boyfriend think of that?” Pandora laughed. “He doesn’t mind. He knows better than to try and convince me. He says I ground him.”“So you get along fine without believing the same things?” Severus asked. “Oh we get along great, and he’s really good in —” She cut off abruptly and gave another little throat clearing. “In Charms, which I am too—something we have in common.” Severus gave her a puzzled look; Pandora swept her long hair over her shoulders. “Sorry I couldn’t be more help,” she said, her cheeks a bit pink. “I’m happy to meet up again if you ever need. But my knowledge of Blood magic is pretty limited.”“It’s okay,” said Lily. “This was really helpful. Right, Sev?”Severus nodded meekly. “Are you still hanging out with Sirius at lunch this year?” “As long as he still wants to. It’s fun for me. I miss speaking French when I’m at Hogwarts, but my whole family speaks it fluently. My grandparents live in France. One of them went to Beauxbatons.”“What’s Beauxbatons?” asked Lily. “The French school of magic,” Pandora explained. “I didn’t know there were other magical schools, but gosh, I guess it makes a lot of sense.”“There are several throughout the world. And many families teach their children magic at home as well. It’s a big world, we only see a tiny sliver of it here.” Pandora waved her hand around indicating the classroom they were currently cooped up in. Severus thought about this. Hogwarts often felt like his entire existence. Like the world beyond the castle walls simply didn’t exist. It was a very narrow and naïve mindset, he realized.“We’d better be off,” said Lily. “Wait, I want to try that spell!” Severus jumped up, he had almost forgotten. “Right, the incantation is Silentium Maxima, and you make a small spiral motion with your wand.” Pandora demonstrated the wand movement. “How do you know if it worked?” asked Severus.“That part is a bit of a pain. You have to test it with someone listening.”“Okay.” Severus pulled out his wand. “Silentium Maxima!” And he made a curly motion with his wand. “Like that?”“Looks pretty good. Practice will be the only way to get better.” They bid Pandora farewell and headed for La Sala. “First thing, we see if we can get that spell right,” Severus said. Lily nodded. “A silencing spell would make a big difference. We wouldn’t have to talk in whispers all the time.”They tried for five minutes, but neither could get the spell to work. “I’m not discouraged. O.W.L. level spellwork is still years beyond us; I bet if we keep practicing we’ll get it eventually,” Severus said.So they settled in and spoke in whispers. “What do you think?” Lily gazed at him with wide eyes.“I’m not keen on talking to Lucius Malfoy or the Lestrange bloke about it.” They were both seventh years, and rather intimidating. “What about Regulus?” Severus had been hoping Regulus’ existence would slip Lily’s mind. “Maybe, he’s not the most approachable person either.”“But he’s only a first year. I mean we’re a whole year ahead of him! He can’t be that scary.”“Have you ever tried to talk to him?” Severus asked. “Of course not. Our paths almost never cross.” “Well I’m not trying it.” Lily crossed her arms tightly. “Then I guess we can give up learning about blood magic. And you’re always the one who brings it up.” They glared at each other for a few moments. “I’ll think about it,” Severus finally said. “Well don’t think too long. Or I might end up asking Sirius.” “You wouldn’t.” Lily shrugged. “¡Maldita sea!” The last thing Severus wanted was Lily going to Black with a query about Blood magic. “I’ll try. It might take a while.” “Gracias, Severus,” said Lily. She unwound her arms and reached over to squeeze his hand. Severus felt a thrill pass through his body at the contact—and Lily didn’t let go. She brought her other hand up and toyed with his long hair. Severus felt himself melt at her gentle touch. Lily really did have a hard time keeping her hands off him in public; and he loved the feel of her hands. But he never knew what to do back, so nothing is what he usually did. “You’re mum should have cut your hair before you left. It is going to be so long by the time you go home.”“Maybe I’ll cut it myself,” he said. “Maybe I’ll cut it for you.” Lily laughed lightly. “I would hate to see you butcher your hair.”Severus smiled at her. “When we go to Hogsmeade next year, you can get it cut at Trippy Snips. I hear their stylists are cutting edge. Haha, get it!” Lily was giggling into her free hand. Severus rolled his eyes. “That was a terrible joke.”Lily smacked him gently on the chest. “Was not.”Lily left her hand on his chest and she looked at him with those huge green eyes. Severus was momentarily dumbstruck. Then she blinked quickly, let go of his hand, and wrapped her arms around her knees. “Tell me about your Defense class. We had someone sprout carrots out of their ears!” she said, leaning back against the wall.The next two weeks of school passed uneventfully. Severus crossed paths with Regulus occasionally, but the other boy always looked either cross or blank. Severus hadn’t gotten up the nerve to approach him about Blood magic yet. Thankfully Lily wasn’t pushing the task. Second year Slytherins had double D.A.D.A last thing on Fridays. After spending two double periods practicing the body bind curse, Professor Saaverda had moved them onto the jelly-legs jinx, Locomotor Wibbly. Again, they practiced in pairs standing on feather mattresses to soften any falls. Severus had a feeling this spell would start working its way through the corridors in no time, regardless of the warning Professor Saaverda had given them about not casting the spells on others maliciously. After the lesson ended on the twenty-second of September, Severus walked back to the common room full of trepidation for the evening’s events. He decided to read until dinner, then merely picked at his food. He hadn’t told Lily about the invitation Bellatrix had extended a few weeks back regarding the Autumnal equinox celebration—Mabon. He didn’t think Lily would be keen on him following through with the commitment, and yet it would be worse to back out. Severus spent the hours between dinner and ten convincing himself nothing that bad could be in store for him. He was still at school after all; it wasn’t like he was going to be murdered. To pass the time, he practiced the Silentium Maxima spell inside his bed hangings—having no idea if he had gotten it to work or not. At five till, Severus made his way to the common room. There were several small clusters of people there, all dressed in outer cloaks for the chilly night air. Severus slouched back to his room and grabbed his cloak as well. He hadn’t realized they would be going outside. Lucius Malfoy swooped down on him from nowhere. “Severus, so glad you could join us,” Lucius drawled. He placed his hand on Severus’ back and guided him through the common room, to a knot of people by the door. Severus saw Bellatrix—center of attention—with a dramatic wool cloak around her shoulders, hood already pulled over her head. The rest of the visitors to his study room were also there. As were Narcissa Black, several boys of various ages Severus knew by face but not by name, and skulking in the shadows was Regulus Black. None of the students except for himself and Regulus were below fourth year. “It’s time.” Bellatrix clapped her hands assertively. She led the way out of the door, her peers following in her wake. Severus ended up with Regulus at the back of the group. Neither of them said anything to acknowledge each other’s presence. They made their way to the entrance hall, then out onto the grounds. Severus looked back and saw many other groups of students were spilling out onto the dark lawn, backlit from the light pouring from the entrance hall. Bellatrix walked purposefully at the front of the group. She led them to the edge of the Forbidden Forest, a little way away from where Hagrid’s hut stood, windows glowing merrily. “Don’t get separated from the group,” she instructed. “We don’t want to make any accidental sacrifices tonight.”Severus swallowed, his legs were beginning to feel like they were full of sand. Following along with the others, he took out his wand and lit it so there was a thin beam of light to illuminate the tangled forest floor. Bellatrix moved into the dark forest, and the rest followed. Severus idly wondered if she marched them to the edge of a cliff and then leapt, if everyone else would simply copy her. A quiet voice to Severus’ left suddenly spoke. “I don’t understand why we have to go in here.” He peeked over and saw Regulus’ face lit by the small lantern all first years were provided for reading in their beds. He doesn’t even know the wand lighting spell yet, thought Severus. Had he ever been so green? Severus grunted in response, which he hoped told Regulus he also did not want to be where they were, but there wasn’t much to do about it now. Thankfully their walk into the forest didn’t last long. They reached a clearing and the others began forming a ring. Regulus and Severus ended up next to each other, directly across from Bellatrix. One by one the lights of wands went out. The last two to extinguish their lights, Severus heard Regulus taking deep steadying breaths as they were plunged into total darkness. Then Bellatrix’s voice came through the darkness. “A circle has no beginning and never ends. The wheel turns and today we join to honor Mabon, we come to share a drink in the name of the first harvest. I ask the Dark to provide for those of us who it recognizes.”Suddenly a large purple fire sprung to life in the center of the circle. Then Severus felt a strong urge to begin walking clockwise, and sure enough, everyone else was also taking slow steps to spin their circle around the purple flames. Then a chorus of voices began to chant. “Cum tenebris ambulamus. Ad tenebras vocamus. Gratias tenebris.” We walk with the Dark. We call to the Dark. We give thanks to the Dark. They were speaking in Latin. And Severus, though far from fluent in Latin, used what he knew of Spanish plus the knowledge he had gained through working closely with Latin over the past year to vaguely understand what was being said. Over and over the words were repeated as Severus walked around the fire. And eventually he added his voice to the rhythmic chanting. The fire seemed to be swelling, though it didn’t feel anything but pleasantly warm to him. After the words had been spoken through several times in succession, the fire gave a sudden roar but instead of flaring up, it widened and arched out, licking Severus’ skin gently with purple flames. He was too surprised to do anything but stand stock still. The fire danced around his body for a few moments, then it receded and shrunk back to its original size. By the flickering purple firelight, Severus saw each participant stand facing the center of the circle and hold out their hands, as if to receive something. He felt a tug to do the same, and did so. A stone goblet materialized in his hands, it was quite heavy. He peered into it and saw it was empty. Bellatrix drank from her own identical goblet, then moved over to pour the contents into the goblet of Narcissa, who was standing to her left. Narcissa drank, and repeated the gesture, pouring the contents of her goblet into Antonin Dolohov’s goblet. And around the circle it went, until the boy to Severus’ right poured a dark liquid into Severus’ own goblet. He brought the cup to his lips and took a small sip. It was a rich wine.Severus felt a warmth as the drink settled in his core. He moved to pour his cup into Regulus’. And the ritual continued until the wine made its way back to Bellatrix. She held her own goblet up in two hands. “The Dark has provided. We thank the Dark for the gift of recognition.” The goblets vanished and Bellatrix looked around the circle. “I will call you forward and if you would like to perform a rite, you may do so.”Bellatrix stepped forward. “I am Bellatrix Black. Today I would like to perform the rite of blood purity.” She pulled a small silver dagger from her robes and made a show of dragging it across her palm. She walked toward the fire, then squeezed her hand into a fist and stuck it into the purple flames. Even though the flames were not hot, there was a soft sizzle as drops of Bellatrix’s blood landed in the center of the fire. “Accipe purum sanguinem meum in spiritu Mabon,” she said. Accept my pure blood in the spirit of Mabon. The fire turned a deep crimson then reached out and lapped at Bellatrix. She closed her eyes and held her arms out, a wide smile splitting her face. Then she began laughing, a manic, intoxicated laugh. After several long moments, the fire retreated again, and turned back to purple. Bellatrix silently stepped back. She then called, “Narcissa Black.”Narcissa said, “I wish to perform the rite of partnership.” She reached into her pocket and withdrew a white cloth, which she slowly unwrapped. Severus couldn’t see what was contained in the center of the cloth. But Narcissa stepped toward the fire and said, “Me tenebrae reducant et dilectum meum.” May the Dark bring me and my beloved together. Then she threw something into the fire. It glowed a bright white, so bright Severus threw his arm up over his eyes. But the light faded almost immediately. And Narcissa stepped back. Bellatrix continued to call names, and some did a rite, while others declined. Severus supposed he should also decline, considering he had no idea what rites even were. When his turn arrived, he steeled himself and stared into the purple fire. “I do not wish to perform a rite.” Then he let out a long breath, that wasn’t so bad. “Regulus Black.”Regulus had already started talking, “I do not wish to perform a rite.”After Regulus, Rodolphus performed a memory rite. The purple flames spiraled around him for several moments before retreating. A few people later Lucius Malfoy also performed a partnership rite. Finally everyone in the circle had taken a turn and Bellatrix spoke to close the circle. “A circle has no beginning and never ends. The wheel turns. Rota volvitur in aeternum.” The wheel turns forever. The circle of voices repeated the last words back to her. “Rota volvitur in aeternum.”And then the purple fire extinguished and they were plunged into complete darkness once again. Wand tips ignited around the clearing. Regulus lit his lantern; and Severus pulled out his own wand. He was full of questions, but this didn’t feel like the right moment to start asking them. The first and most pressing question was, what just happened ? It would have to wait. The group retraced their path out of the forest and emerged on the grassy grounds where other groups were also beginning to move back toward the castle. Severus found himself walking next to Regulus again. Soon a cloaked figure dropped back to join them. It was Narcissa. “Have you ever celebrated one of the cyclical festivals before?” she whispered as Regulus walked ahead. It took Severus a moment to realize she was talking to him. He shook his head. “You must have a lot of questions.” He did. “Look,” and she actually grabbed his arm, holding them both back, “you’re young, and not part of the Dark community. You need to know what you are getting yourself into, no matter what Bellatrix thinks.” Regulus and the rest of the group were already several paces ahead of them. Narcissa fixed Severus with a steely glare. “It was extremely risky for her to bring you to that celebration; thankfully it seems the Dark trusts you. Which isn’t a huge surprise—I don’t know a Slytherin who has ever had a problem with a Mabon ritual circle. But still, if she had been wrong about you . . .”Narcissa stepped even closer and said into his ear, “Be careful, Severus. The Dark path is not always laced with violence but depending on who you follow, it can be. She is pursuing you, which means you have something she wants. And Bella always gets what she wants.”Their group had reached the bright light spilling out of the entrance hall, Bellatrix paused and caught sight of Severus and Narcissa lingering on the lawn. She flashed them a grin, before heading into the hall. “Come on.” Narcissa tugged him along. “What should I do?” Severus knew his whispered question was barely audible. Narcissa drew in a long breath before exhaling slowly. “I don’t know. But if you ever need anything, I’ll try to help. Just be very discreet. And for Merlin’s sake, stop spending so much public time with that muggle-born. The longer it continues, the harder it will be for your reputation in the long run and the more danger you put her in.”Severus was surprised Narcissa didn’t tell him to abandon Lily completely. But he also couldn’t recall a time when she specifically had harassed him for it. When Severus lay in his bed a while later, he tried to sort out all his unanswered questions. He had also been within four feet of Regulus most of the night and had made no progress on even initiating a conversation with him. He grabbed his extra pillow and smashed it over his face. I am nothing. I am not here. I do not exist, he repeated to himself. Tossing the pillow aside, he surprisingly fell into a deep and dreamless sleep.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Chapter IV
The Black Prince
September came to a close with wet and windy weather. In the first week of October the gales gentled, but it was still rather rainy. The second year Slytherins had a double Herbology period Tuesday mornings and it was during the first lesson in October that Severus had a major brainwave regarding the conversation spell he was working on.The Ravenclaws and Slytherins were gathered in greenhouse three; everyone eyeing the large pile of multicolored fluffy earmuffs with speculation. “Today,” Professor Sprout began, “we’re going to be repotting Mandrakes. Can anyone tell me the properties of a Mandrake?”Several students’ hands shot into the air. Severus was used to this, it was the result of any lesson shared with the Ravenclaws. “Mister Stebbins.” “A Mandrake, also known as Mandragora, is a powerful restorative. It begins as a baby, but grows and needs repotting as it does so. All parts of a mature Mandrake are useful in various potions, particularly antidotes.”“Well said, five points to Ravenclaw.” Professor Sprout indicated the pile of earmuffs. “Who can tell us what these are for?”Again, several hands shot into the air. “Yes, Miss Thomas.”“The cry of the Mandrake is fatal to anyone who hears it. However, depending on the age of the Mandrake, the cry may have less devastating effects.”“Exactly, another five points to Ravenclaw.” Severus rolled his eyes. He knew the Ravenclaw quidditch team had had an abysmal season last year, but it still hadn’t stopped them coming in second in the House Cup rankings. “The Mandrakes we’re working with today are babies, their cries will only knock you out for a few hours. Still, I’d rather not have a class of unconscious students on my hands. These earmuffs will muffle all surrounding noise, making the environment safe for us to work in.” Professor Sprout nodded around at the class who were looking less than enthusiastic about the situation. “I’m going to demonstrate your task. Everyone take a pair of earmuffs and snap them on. When I give you the thumbs up, it’ll be safe to remove them.” There was a scramble for the least repulsive earmuffs. Professor Sprout ended up with the pair which was shocking pink. She snapped them over her own ears and Severus placed his fluffy orange pair over his ears. All noise was suddenly cut off. Professor Sprout grabbed the purple tufted top of a plant in a small pot and yanked hard. An extremely dirty, wrinkly, wailing baby emerged. It was about the size of a kitten, but far, far uglier. Professor Sprout quickly eased the baby into the larger pot and added several extra scoops of rich soil patting it down so only the tufted top remained. Then she brushed off her hands and gave them the thumbs up. Everyone removed their earmuffs. “Any questions? No? You’ll be working four to a tray. Soil is there, big pots in the far corner. Be sure you pack the dirt down—it needs to feel snug—but not so tight it will suffocate. When it’s time to clean up I’ll signal to you all. Begin.”With that, the second years dispersed. Severus drifted off to find a group to work with, ending up with the three Slytherin girls. They all snapped their earmuffs into place and got to work. The Mandrakes were feisty little buggers. Professor Sprout had made it look extremely straight forward. It was not. The first Mandrake Severus unearthed threw two handfuls of dirt into his face, causing him to drop the plant. The girls scurried around trying to catch it as it rolled across the greenhouse floor wailing at the top of its lungs. Elowen finally caught it and Anica helped her push it into the dirt of the new pot. But the Mandrake kicked, spraying them all with more dirt. Severus replaced the spilled dirt in the pot and made a hollow for the Mandrake to ease into. They tried again, with Calista and Severus quickly scooping more dirt on top of the Mandrake when it was in position. Surprisingly, as soon as the dirt covered its face the plant fell quite still. They added a few more scoops of soil, then patted it down gently. Severus was already covered in dirt, and he was certainly smudging more on his face as he made to wipe his hair out of his eyes. What a mad lesson! They repotted several more Mandrakes, all the while warding off the Venomous Tentacula—which would slip a spiky tentacle over their unsuspecting shoulder in search of some skin to nip. They had each received at least one welt from the tentacles already this year. Finally Professor Sprout signaled it was time for the lesson to wrap up. Severus removed his earmuffs and the return of sound was slightly disorientating. Everything had a sort of buzzing quality to it, which faded as he walked back to the castle amidst a heavy drizzle for lunch. It was while he was eating—mindlessly chewing his turkey sandwich—he realized he could attempt to use the word ‘muffle’ as the root of his private conversation spell. After all, ‘lock’ at the end of Langlock was an English word. He always defaulted to Latin, as most spells had a Latin component. More than the sum of each separate component, he remembered Golpalott’s Third Law, his inspiration for spell invention. What if the spell didn’t create a barrier of silence for bystanders, what if it distracted them instead? Severus reached into his bag, pulling out parchment and quill, and began making a long list of potential spells stemming from the word ‘muffle’ to test later. Later found Severus closeted in a study room with a mild mannered guinea pig he swiped from the Transfiguration classroom that afternoon. He had been using mice as his test specimens, but they were extremely skittish and difficult to catch. The guinea pigs caged in the corner of Professor McGonagall’s room were calm, chewing their pellets of food and sniffing around the enclosure. Severus had taken a seat near the furry rodents, then nicked one when Professor McGonagall had become otherwise occupied by Carver Woodfred’s spellwork. “Scarabacrus, Woodfred, not Scaratercus! If I had wanted you to transfigure this beetle into a pile of dung I would have specified so.” Professor McGonagall vanished the mound of poop quickly, but the strong scent lingered in the small classroom. Only after McGonagall had cast an air purifying charm, was the class able to return to their work undistracted; Woodfred having been given a new beetle to practice on. Severus looked at his list of spells to try: Mufflatium, Mufflonia, Mufflarius, Muffliato. He pointed his wand at the guinea pig and muttered “Mufflatium.” Nothing happened, which was to be expected. So he slammed his hand down on the desk and the guinea pig gave a jump of fright, then went back to sniffing around the corner of the room. “Mufflonia,” he tried. The guinea pig jumped again at the loud noise. “Mufflarius.” Same reaction. “Muffliato.” His hand slammed down on the desk but the guinea pig didn’t react. Severus leapt up in excitement. “Finite Incantatem,” he cast. Then again, “Muffliato.” He let out a loud shout. The guinea pig continued its curious foray under the table. Severus scooped it up, placed it in the small box he had transported it in, then headed to his dorm room. Piers and Carver were sitting on Piers’ bed, having an earnest conversation about the upcoming quidditch season. The fact that the quidditch season was fast approaching had slipped Severus’ very occupied mind. He didn’t relish the thought of going to watch the opening match; which Lily would no doubt insist he attend, as their two houses were playing. Severus crawled into his own four poster and muttered “Muffliato” pointing his wand in the general direction of Piers’ bed. Then he opened his Standard Book of Spells Grade Two and began reading aloud. This behavior should have earned him at least a curious glance from the other boys, if they had heard him. But they gave no reaction. Severus smirked in satisfaction. It was only a month into the school year and he had invented his sixth spell. Riding the high of his accomplishment, Severus gathered his courage and strode down the narrow corridor to the new first year’s dormitory. He rapped on the door, and a boy with a smattering of freckles and golden hair answered the door. Severus remembered his face from the sorting ceremony, but the boy’s name was lost to him.“Yes?” he said, sticking his head out the door. “I’m looking for Regulus.” Severus didn’t know why he felt so nervous, he was a second year after all—the bigger fish. “He’s here.” The boy didn’t open the door farther. Severus cursed the Slytherins for being so, Slytherin. “I’d like to speak with him.” The boy abruptly shut the door in Severus’ face. He was about to walk away when Regulus himself slipped out of the room. “What?” His tone was no more welcoming. “Um, I’m Severus.” “I know who you are,” Regulus said as he crossed his arms. “Right, so I wanted to talk with you . . .”Regulus widened his eyes at Severus and stayed silent. “Look,” Severus tried again. “Can we talk somewhere more private?”Regulus didn’t comment, but strode down the hallway and through the common room without looking at anyone. Severus hurried along in his wake. Although Regulus was a few inches shorter than him, he held himself like he was the tallest person in the room. They exited the common room and Regulus walked down the corridor—past the study rooms—to a set of stairs which led into darkness. “Hey! We can go in one of those.” Severus gestured back toward the study rooms. “This is more private,” Regulus said. He started down the steps and Severus followed, pulling out his wand and muttering “Lumos.” Severus had never been down these steps before. They ended in a square chamber with several wooden doors leading off it. Momentarily impressed by the sheer size of the Hogwarts dungeons, Severus froze. Regulus went to the door straight ahead and opened it, waving Severus to follow him. The minute he stepped over the threshold, torches burst to life along the walls. It was an empty stone chamber, quite large but the ceiling was low. Regulus held the door ajar as Severus followed him in, then closed it with a loud click. “This room is always imperturbed,” Regulus said. Severus made no comment. The other boy let out an annoyed huff. “It’s magically warded against spying.”“Oh, that’s neat.” “So, what . . . ?”Severus gathered his wits; he had been distracted by the discovery of this discrete room in the depths of the castle. “I’m looking for information on Blood magic,” Severus said. “Blood magic,” Regulus repeated tonelessly. “And why would you approach me about the subject?”“The Hogwarts library hasn’t provided any information. An acquaintance said I should check with my housemates who have access to old family libraries.”They were still eyeing each other and Severus saw Regulus’ nostrils flare at the mention of a family library. “You’re a Black. I assume you have a well stocked Dark Arts library at your family home.”Regulus picked at an invisible thread on the sleeve of his robes. “You’re correct. The Black family library is thorough, if not as extensive as some. I’m curious—why do you want to learn about Blood magic? Are you considering declaring Dark?”Severus didn’t know what ‘declaring Dark’ meant. He decided to take a risk and not let his ignorance show.“So you know what it is,” he said. “I . . .” Regulus seemed to recognize he had made a mistake and narrowed his eyes at Severus. “Listen, Blood magic is Dark Arts. It’s a forbidden subject at Hogwarts.”“That doesn’t frequently stop Slytherins though, does it?” Regulus shifted his weight nervously and ran a hand through his hair. “Look, I’m not going to get you in trouble,” said Severus. “That is not what I am concerned about.” Regulus sneered at him. “You’re telling me it’s a lucky coincidence you came to me specifically about Blood magic? No one told you to seek me out?”Severus shook his head. “It was only your family’s resources and the fact you are slightly less intimidating than the seventh years with similar backgrounds.”Regulus surveyed Severus for a long time. Then ran his hands over his face before crossing his arms tightly across his chest. This was definitely the most flustered Severus had ever seen him. “I don’t want anyone else to know, you understand me? No one can know where you got this information. No. One. ”Severus pursed his lips, exactly how he was going to share what he learned with Lily without her finding out where he got the information was a bit of a mystery. Especially since they had agreed he would approach Regulus specifically about it. But there it was, she already knew. He wouldn’t have to tell her anything about his source. “I follow the Slytherin covenant as much as anyone,” Severus said. “I’ve been studying Blood magic for nearly a year. My resource has been a book my library provided. It’s the only source of information I’ve used. I haven’t spoken of it to a single person and I assumed no one else knew I was interested in the subject. Until you.” “I didn’t know,” Severus whispered. Regulus gave him a withering look. “Regardless, what is it specifically about Blood magic you’re interested in? It better not be making sacrifices or something gruesome like that, because I won’t help you with such things.”Severus shook his head, flinging his hair across his face. “Nothing like that. Merlin, who do you think I am?”“I don’t know you. No one seems to know much about you, except . . .” Regulus seemed reluctant to say what he knew. “The less people know about you, the more you have to hide.”Severus was taken aback by this assessment from an eleven year old. It seemed he had found someone who was his equal in the art of subtle observation. “So what then? I don’t want to be here all night,” Regulus said. “Wandless magic, that’s what I want to know about.”“Are you kidding me?” Regulus’ face turned stony and Severus wouldn’t have been surprised if daggers flew from his eyes. “I am not kidding,” Severus said. “I want to learn about how to strengthen the use of wandless magic.”“You’re telling me you can do wandless magic?” Severus didn’t miss the sarcastic tone. “Not me, I have a friend . . .”“You only have one friend. We aren’t even in the same year and I know all about you and that mudblood you hang around with.”Severus took a step toward Regulus, but the younger boy held his ground. “Watch your mouth,” he said. Severus realized it was rather unlucky Regulus was quite as perceptive as he himself was. Clearly he was about to give this boy information which could be very valuable, information about Lily he didn’t want spread around the school. He and Lily had had a massive fight about concealing her abilities the previous year; their stubbornness was the only thing which had prevailed. Lily insisted it wasn’t a big deal. Severus insisted she not reveal her magical capacities to other people. Eventually they had moved on. Though Lily did promise to not tell anyone else. “So you’re saying your muggle-born friend can do wandless magic?” Regulus asked.Severus didn’t see a way around it, he nodded.Regulus’ eyebrows shot up into his long black fringe. Then Severus had the feeling the other boy could not contain his curiosity, for in a much more pleasant tone he asked, “What can she do?” “Just little things. She started before she found out she was a witch. You know how magic sort of bursts out of kids? She learned to control her magic and summon it at will.”Severus was amused by the shocked look on Regulus’ face. “She’s a wielder,” Regulus said. “A what?” “A wielder, someone who can channel magic without a wand. They are . . . not common.”“Yeah, I guess so. I mean I’ve seen her do it—it’s small. You could easily miss it if you weren’t paying attention. But it’s there, and I think she should practice to get stronger.”Regulus sank down to sit cross legged on the floor, motioning for Severus to join him. Sitting across from each other, Regulus steepled his hands and leaned forward—elbows on knees, chin on hands. “This is most intriguing.” He peered at Severus. “What exactly does it mean to be a wielder?” “There are different types. The most powerful are born and then train, like you are suggesting for your friend . . .”“Lily,” Severus provided. It wasn’t exactly a secret at this point. “Lily.” Regulus inclined his head slightly. “The book talks all about it.”“Can I borrow this book?” “Are you fluent in French?” Regulus asked.“No.”“Then no. It’s written in French.” Regulus shrugged. “I know it well. I can try and explain. Some wielders are born. But there are those who acquire the skill in a very limited fashion, for perhaps a single or a few spells. Their power pales in comparison to born wielders. “Then there is the magic of beasts and non-wizard beings. Things like goblins, centaurs, veela, merpeople, and werewolves can perform magic unique to their species and it doesn’t require a wand. I guess house-elves would be another example. House-elves do tons of magic, yet they don’t use wands. They’re all wielders in their own right, but as non-human species, their capacities are different.”Severus nodded along. He did not have much personal experience with the creatures Regulus was referencing, but he knew there were many house-elves at Hogwarts. And he had visited Gringotts twice. Regulus seemed to have forgotten to uphold his air of superiority in light of his eagerness to share what he knew about Blood magic. He continued, “No one knows why some people are born wielders, but the occurrence is estimated at less than one percent of the human magical population. Which makes it likely there is one born wielder at Hogwarts at any given time. Wielders have historically been Dark wizards and witches.”“Lily isn’t Dark,” Severus insisted.“She isn’t Dark yet.” “Lily isn’t Dark,” Severus repeated, shaking his head. “For one, she’s a Gryffindor.”“What does that have to do with anything? Sirius is in Gryffindor and he —”Severus sucked in a sharp breath but Regulus quickly tried to cover up his slip. “I only mean, not every Dark witch or wizard has to come from Slytherin.”“Lily is not a Dark witch.”Regulus heaved a sigh. “Let’s move on. The chances of Lily being born a wielder were extremely slim. Not only that, but . . .”—Regulus paused and gave Severus an appraising look—“I’m also a wielder.”“Really?” Regulus nodded. “I found out last Christmas—it happened by accident. I’d never tried to do magic consciously without a wand. I mean why would I? I knew it was illegal, and I had other studies and things to occupy my time. Besides, I’ve always had access to my parent’s wands.”“So you can do wandless magic too?” Severus asked. “I’m trying.” Regulus nodded his head. “The magic I did before—it was big, really big and powerful. But it was also in a unique situation. Apparently extreme circumstances can make channeling easier. I haven’t been able to get anything to happen since coming to Hogwarts. But it has only been a month or so of trying.”“This book you have gives instructions on how to wield wandlessly?” “Not much, but enough to start out. I think it is something wizards get better at with practice. I mean, it’s unique to every individual. And there are hundreds, maybe thousands of spells. And that doesn’t even include wielding through the other types of magic, which my book only vaguely references. It’s really very mysterious. Have you ever asked Lily about what it feels like for her? It sounds like if she can already do it, she could describe how.”“Of course I’ve asked, don’t you think I wanted to try it myself? But I can’t even initiate the first feeling: like the source of magic is everywhere in the body. Like it is thrumming with her heartbeat through her veins. I have that feeling when I hold my wand. Mostly concentrated from my core out through my wand arm. Do you know what I mean?” asked Severus. Regulus nodded. “The book describes it as a magical submersion. I think it says, ‘plongez-vous dans la magie.’ Immerse yourself in magic . But that is rather vague. And it also sounds like Lily doesn’t consciously have to do anything to achieve such a state.”“You should talk to her about it. I’m sure she could describe it far better than me.” But Regulus ignored him. “And she didn’t know any spells before coming to Hogwarts, so she was simply using her mind to bend raw magic to her will. Using specific spells can greatly strengthen the magic a wielder can produce. At least that’s what the book says. It describes it as concentrating the magic to a specific purpose, therefore strengthening it.” They lapsed into silence and Severus was about to speak when Regulus exclaimed, “I want to talk to Lily.”“I already suggested that,” Severus said with a sigh. “But I cannot, under any circumstances, be seen talking to a mud— muggle-born.” Severus thought about his options. Lily might rip him a new one, but she had also asked him to keep an eye on Regulus. So she couldn’t have many antagonistic feelings toward him. As far as Severus knew she had barely even laid eyes on the first year. And he felt her desire to learn what Regulus knew would outweigh his giving up their secret hideout. “We have a place—a sort of secret hideout. I think you could squeeze in. You’re pretty tiny.”“What’s that supposed to mean?” “Only that you’re a first year, not a hulking eighteen year old! Sheesh, do you want to meet up or not?”“I will meet with you both.” Then Regulus softened slightly and said, “Also, I couldn’t help to notice you were with us on Mabon. My family has been observing the cyclical festivals ever since I can remember, but was Mabon your first?”Severus nodded. “That was an aggressive move by my cousin. The circle she held . . . if the Dark hadn’t trusted you, you might have died.”“What!”“That’s Bellatrix, she likes to play with fire. And now I have her breathing down my neck about Occlumency . . .” Regulus sighed. “She keeps a close eye on me. Thankfully she’s a seventh year and will be gone next year. I couldn’t imagine enduring seven years here with her around. The point is, you should be mindful of what you say and do around her. She invited a bunch of people to the Mabon celebration who she’s interested in pursuing. I think it was some kind of test. There would be no other reason for her guiding that specific Mabon ritual.”“Someone else”—Severus tread carefully—“has said something similar to me.”“Well it’s the truth. Do you know about declaring Dark as a wizard?”“No.” The things Severus didn’t know seemed to be quickly surpassing the things he did.“I can guarantee she’s going to broach the topic with you. So let me tell you a few things. First, you have to do an affinity rite before you can begin the path to declaring as a Dark witch or wizard. The fact you made it through the ritual unscathed, it means you at least have a Dark affinity. Not everyone has an affinity for Light magic or Dark magic, and even those who do don’t always pursue it.”“How do you know all this?”“I was raised in a family of Dark wizards. It’s like knowing the alphabet for us. Second, being a Dark wizard will strengthen your power, especially with Dark magic and the Dark Arts. It will also make pure Light magic hard or impossible for you to perform.”“How do you get an affinity for magic?” asked Severus.“It’s usually passed down through bloodlines. But it can also crop up, I think. Just like there can be a Dark family who produces a wizard without a Dark affinity. The problem is, many famous Dark witches and wizards have given the magical community the idea that all Dark witches and wizards are evil. This isn’t true. “But between the association between Blood magic and Dark magic—and infamous Dark wizards—declaring Dark is something people generally keep to themselves and their peers. No one can force you to do it. The Dark is more powerful than any person; it will know if you are being coerced against your will to walk the path of Darkness.”“Are you saying Bellatrix will try and make me declare Dark?”“She will try to entice you to explore your options,” said Regulus. “Bellatrix is manipulative, she is also a natural Legilimens. Convenient for her, to be sure.”“What’s a Legilimens?”“It means she can see inside another’s mind.”“Can she? That makes sense, she tried to read my mind and I don’t think she could.”“No kidding? You know Occlumency? Severus, you are full of surprises.” Regulus gave him another appraising look. “I have no idea what Occlumency ”—Severus said the word slowly—“is. But it felt like she was worming into my head and I shut her out.” He gave a shrug.“Huh, she’s been training me in Occlumency since summer. I think I’ve got a natural tendency toward it. Even so, I’ve gotten loads better with practice. The training is unpleasant to say the least.” Regulus shuddered slightly. “I imagine having someone trying to poke around in your mind would be very uncomfortable,” Severus said. He might be mistaken but it felt like he and Regulus were starting to get along. In fact, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d had such an earnest conversation with someone who wasn’t Lily or his mamá.“We’ve been here for a long time,” Regulus said suddenly. “I think we should go back. When can I meet you and Lily?” “We’re planning to meet tomorrow afternoon, but I think it would be a good idea if I had a chance to talk to her first. She might not enjoy the surprise of me bringing another Slytherin to our secret hideout. So let’s say Sunday morning. I can take you after breakfast. I don’t think anyone will be suspicious of us walking together,” said Severus. Regulus thought, then nodded. “Sunday will work.” “And please don’t tell Lily I went to the Mabon celebration or anything about the declaring Dark business. I don’t think she would be keen . . .”“I’m not an idiot. I’ll only mention what is applicable to her and wielding. I can bring my book, lot of good it will do though. Still . . .” Regulus stood and stretched his hands above his head, bending a bit from side to side. He was a kid, but Severus felt he carried himself like an adult.
They made their way back to the common room. When they entered Bellatrix appeared out of nowhere,
closing in on them.
“There you are, Reggie,” she said, winding an arm around his shoulders.
“Don’t call me that.” Regulus’ icy tone was back, his face surprisingly void of emotion.
“Oh but you will always be my baby cousin,” replied Bellatrix, pinching Regulus’ cheek. He jerked away from her, and she shifted her focus to Severus. “What were two children such as yourselves doing at this hour?”
“It is hardly nine, and we were just talking,” said Regulus. Severus decided he would try and let Regulus carry this conversation, as he didn’t want to say anything which might get either of them in trouble. “Severus had some questions about the Mabon celebration. He’s never observed a cyclical festival before.”
“Indeed,” Bellatrix peered at him. “I figured as much. Did you enjoy the experience, Severus?”
“It was interesting.” Severus didn’t want to outright lie.
Bellatrix moved close to him and cupped his chin, tilting his head back. Severus tried to keep from meeting her eyes.
“The Dark agreed with you. Did you feel it? Did you feel its caress?” She let go of his chin. He took a quick step back. “The Dark welcomes you, it will call to you. Listen.” Bellatrix gazed at him thoughtfully, her arm still draped over Regulus’ shoulders. Long red nails catching the firelight.
Severus held his breath. He had nothing to say.
“Let it take you, guide you, ravish you, and you will feel more complete than you ever imagined.” Bellatrix reached out and put two fingers under his chin, pushing his face up again but he turned his head to the side. He was refusing to make eye contact with her. “How old are you?”
“I’m twelve.”
“Pity, you can’t do an affinity rite until you are thirteen. But someday, if you choose . . .” And she raised her eyebrows, tilting her head slightly. “Someday you can give yourself over to the Dark.”
Then she adopted a friendly tone and said, “Come sit with us?” He noticed Regulus did not receive an invitation but rather was gently shoved toward the cluster of couches where Malfoy, Dolohov, Crabbe and a few other boys sat.
“I really should be getting to bed,” Severus said.
“Another time then.” Bellatrix bopped him on the nose with her finger. “Sleep well, Severus.”
Severus backed farther away, then turned and walked as quickly as he could without seeming desperate out of the room. He felt dirty, his skin was crawling. Once out of sight he nearly ran to his dorm and then went straight into the bathroom to take a shower.
How Regulus endured her near constant presence, Severus didn’t know. But he now had an idea why Regulus looked so closed off and sullen all the time.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Chapter V
And Two Becomes Three
First thing the next morning, Severus returned the guinea pig to Professor McGonagall. “I found it in the charms corridor,” he said. She gave him an appraising look, but took the animal off his hands, returning it to the cage with its fellows. That afternoon, he met Lily at La Sala. He cast the Silentium Maxima charm and—much to their delight—for the very first time it worked. Severus could not hear Lily singing Beatles lyrics at the top of her voice while he stood casually outside the tiny room. They had no sooner closed themselves in the nook when Severus burst out, “I did it. I talked to Regulus.”“About Blood magic?” “Yes, about Blood magic. And he knows what it is and he wants to talk with us together.”“Wow, how incredibly lucky. Did you set up a time to meet?”“Yes, and I hope you don’t mind but I said we could meet here. Because he said under no circumstance could he be seen talking to . . .”“To me?” Lily finished mildly. Severus nodded. “I mean, we don’t have another option do we? This place is sort of perfect, but I would hate for him to go snitching to his friends about it.”“He won’t. For starters, I don’t think he has many—if any—friends. Second, if being discreet means as much as I think it does to him then I don’t think he would give up a secret about Hogwarts to anyone.”Lily nodded slowly. “Okay, when then?”“Sunday, right after breakfast.”“I have something else exciting to tell you about,” said Lily. “I’m starting a club for marginalized students.” Oh brother, Severus couldn’t stop himself thinking, Lily and her egalitarian principles. “You are?” is what he actually said. She nodded eagerly. “I had the idea at the end of last term, but I felt like I’d already done so much work to get the dress code changed, I couldn’t find the energy to start something new. But it’s a new year! And I’ve already spoken to Professor McGonagall and she’s fully supportive. In fact, she even has a place for us to meet.”“So who are these marginalized students?” Severus asked. “Anyone really,” smiled Lily. “I mean anyone who feels like they need some comradery and support. I’m going to call it S.H.I.E.L.D club. Students of Hogwarts for Inclusion, Equity, Leadership, and Diversity.”Severus had to admit he was impressed with the name. And it did sound like a good idea. Not something he would ever attend—to be sure—but for some people . . .“Think, if I’d had a group of people to help me with the dress code initiative, it would have been so much easier. And the club would be a place for ideas like that to take root! A safe place for people to be who they are, make new friends, allow for more interhouse community.”“I think it sounds really great, Lily. Um, have you considered there might be some people who would specifically target a group like that? I mean aggressively . . .”Lily fixed him with her green eyes and nodded seriously. “Oh yes, Professor McGonagall and I talked all about it. She said she can ensure attendees are unable to tell outsiders who else was at the meeting or where it occurs. A new attendee would have to be accompanied by a current member to gain access to the space. She said we can advertise it via a simple poster in common rooms and a message on the school wide message board. I’ll be a known point of contact for anyone interested.”“When is it going to start?”“I’d like to kick it off before the Christmas holidays. Potentially in November, if we can get everything organized by then.”“At least you have a teacher helping you this time,” said Severus. Lily smiled. “Professor McGonagall said she had a personal investment in such a group forming. I don’t know what that means, but I’m grateful for the help.”They lapsed into silence, Lily absentmindedly drawing little shapes on the back of Severus’ hand. “How about that Herbology lesson?” he mused. “I don’t have double Herbology until tomorrow.”“You wait, I won’t be upset if I never have to deal with a Mandrake again.”“Oh, are we doing Mandrakes? How fascinating.” “You’ll be singing a different tune tomorrow. They were awful. Which reminds me, I invented a new spell.” Had it really only happened yesterday, it felt like it had been weeks ago. Lily looked interested. “What’s the spell?”“Muffliato. It makes it so people around you can’t hear what you are talking about. Here, can I try it on you?”“Is it safe?”“I tested it on my dormmates without them knowing, they seemed fine.”Lily shrugged. “Go ahead.”Severus took out his wand, pointed it at Lily and said, “Muffliato.”She narrowed her eyes at him. “There’s a sort of buzzing in my ears.”“Oh, so that’s how it works,” said Severus.“What?” Lily shouted. “Finite Incantatem. I said ‘that’s how it works.’ I didn’t know what it did exactly, but it seems to muffle other sounds—apparently with a buzzing. Here you try.”Lily pulled out her wand and Severus repeated the spell for her, “Muffliato.” “Muffliato,” Lily said with her wand pointed at Severus. He heard what sounded like a hundred bees quietly humming. It wasn’t overpowering. He supposed the recipients could still hold their own conversations, but they wouldn’t be able to hear or even really notice the caster’s conversation. Useful for having a private conversation during say a meal in the great hall, or the back of a classroom, or the library. Severus pointed his wand at himself and said, “Finite Incantatem.”“It’s so neat you can invent. How’s your homework going? Do you want to do any study sessions? We could probably use a secluded table in the library,” Lily said. While Severus always wanted more time with Lily, Narcissa’s warning from Mabon had stuck with him. It made him angry to admit Narcissa was probably right regarding the repercussions of being seen together in public too often. “I don’t know. For now I’m keeping up with the homework load fine. And I don’t think we should be seen together too much,” he said. “Lots of people already know we’re friends,” she replied. “Yeah, but we don’t have to go about reminding them.” Lily flung herself back on the cushions in their small space and gave an exasperated sigh. “Ugh, I hate this. I hate all this secrecy. Why did you have to end up in Slytherin?”“Why did you have to end up in Gryffindor?” Severus said bitterly. Their different houses weren’t actually a point of contention anymore. The stubborn arguments from first year had faded into annoyed acceptance. “I wish we lived in a more tolerant world,” said Lily. “You’re a good person, Sev. And I’m a good person. And there is no reason we shouldn’t be friends.” “I know, but we live in this world.” Severus didn’t know what else to say, and neither apparently did Lily, for they lapsed into a long silence. Severus had been avoiding the Slytherin common room with even more intention than he had in the past. He didn’t want to give Bellatrix and her lackeys a chance to single him out again. Upon having success with the silencing charm, he had taken to casting it in his four poster with the curtains drawn. He didn’t feel comfortable—or safe— practicing magic in his bed; but he was happy to spend lots of time reading. Sunday arrived. Severus spotted Regulus with his usual crowd at the Slytherin breakfast table. Didn’t all those seventh years have other things to do than putz around with a first year—school work perhaps?Regulus gave absolutely no sign he was still intending to meet Severus and Lily after breakfast. Severus made himself a bowl of porridge and waited. After about half an hour, Regulus said something to his group and stood to leave. Lucius Malfoy also stood, and the two of them made for the entrance hall. Severus slid out of his seat and followed stealthily. “I need to stop by the gents,” said Regulus as the pair of them made for the corridor with the lavatories off the entrance hall. Lucius waited outside, while Regulus went in. In an impromptu move, Severus snuck up behind Lucius and muttered, “Stupefy.” Malfoy collapsed. And Severus quickly ducked into the toilets. Regulus whipped his head toward the door. “Oh, it’s you. Thank goodness. They hardly let me go anywhere alone.”“I stunned Malfoy,” Severus said. Regulus did up his trousers and went to the sink. “I’ve got to convince her to stop babysitting me,” he mumbled as he washed his hands. “I don’t know if she thinks I’m going to go rogue on her or if she is honestly concerned for my safety. But it’s driving me mental.” Regulus dried his hands. “Let’s go.”They stepped around Malfoy, and to the first person they saw—a Hufflepuff boy—Severus said, “Someone’s collapsed down the corridor back there, near the toilets.” The Hufflepuff scurried off to investigate while Severus and Regulus continued to the staircase near the trophy room. The surrounding corridor was deserted, as usual. Severus quickly opened the door of La Sala and motioned for Regulus to enter first. “This is cozy,” Regulus said, looking around the small space. Severus cast the silencing charm and Regulus continued to vent about Bellatrix while they waited for Lily. Ten minutes later she arrived. She slid through the door, and Severus cast “Colloportus” to lock it behind her. Lily gave Regulus a wide smile. “Hiya, you look just —”“Like Sirius,” Regulus interrupted. “I know.”“Don’t sound so upset about it, you two are both very good looking,” Lily said. Then she blushed dark red and smacked her hand to her forehead. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s come over me.”Severus was not pleased with this introduction, and glared at Lily. Who had the decency to give him an apologetic and mortified look. “Sometimes I’m rather blunt,” she said to Regulus. “No filter.”Severus knew this only too well, however he thought it was more a manifestation of impulsivity.Regulus was clearly keen to move on to the real purpose of their meeting, for he said, “Let me see it.”Lily gave him a confused look. “See what?”“I want to see your magic.” Severus felt like this whole interaction was not going at all as he envisioned. It was a bit bold of Regulus to demand Lily show him her wandless magic when he hadn’t even introduced himself. Prince indeed. And closeted in the tiny space, the whole thing felt uncomfortably intimate. But Lily had regained her composure. Regulus stared back at her, and as the silence stretched his face softened slightly. “Let’s start over,” Lily said slowly. “I’m Lily. You obviously know Sev.”Regulus nodded. “Thank you, for allowing me to come here I mean. Yes, I’m Regulus—which you knew—but regardless . . .”Lily studied Regulus thoughtfully and he shifted uncomfortably under her gaze. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a small folded paper crane. Holding it in the palm of her hand, Lily continued to look at Regulus and the wings of the crane began to beat, then it lifted a few inches off her hand and hovered in the air between them. Lily caught the paper bird as it fell back into her palm. Regulus’ face was neutral. “How long have you been practicing that?” he asked.“I haven’t, I just did it for you.”“You just — you haven’t — how?”Lily shrugged. “It just happens.”“But was it a spell?”Lily shook her head. “It’s just me. I think it and it happens.”“Merlin,” Regulus let out a long breath. Severus—who had been watching this whole exchange like a hawk—spoke up. “I told you.”“Have you tested your limits?” Regulus asked Lily. Lily pursed her lips. “A bit, I can do the tiny stuff best. I’ve tried some spells, haven’t had much success.”“Severus tried to explain to me what you say it feels like. I’d like to hear from you though, if you’re willing to share,” Regulus said. “It feels like magic is pulsing through my whole body all the time. When I want to draw from it, I focus on the task I want to accomplish and it happens for me. Sometimes it happens unintentionally, or without me consciously thinking about it. It’s always tiny stuff like this.” Lily held up the paper crane again. “My fork might jump into my hand as I am reaching for it. Or my shoe might finish tying itself if I’m halfway done already.” “Quite remarkable,” said Regulus. Then he rummaged around in his book bag and pulled out a small black book. He held it out to her. Severus saw the words Sangenus Magicae in small silver lettering on the front. “This is the book I have, did Severus mention it? It’s in French, but I can read it. There are some instructions for how to strengthen your wielding power.”“My what?” asked Lily, turning the boke over in her hands and examining it.“Your ability to channel magic through your body only. It’s called wielding. But before I go on can I ask you something? Would you try one of these spells?” Regulus pulled a second book from his bag: The Dark Arts: A Practical Guide. Lily traded Regulus books and flipped The Dark Arts open; then she gasped. “But these are Dark magic, no way!” She shoved the book back toward Regulus. “Blood magic is often also Dark magic,” Regulus said. “I’m curious if you have an affinity or if you’re an outlier. You are clearly wielding and my book only talks about wielders being Dark. I’m not saying it can’t be a different way. Prove me wrong.”He raised his eyebrows at her in a challenge. Severus knew Lily would take the bait; she loved to prove a point. “Fine.” She snatched The Dark Arts back from Regulus. “Here”—he flipped to a page mid-way through—“Try this one.”Lily glared at the book as if it had personally offended her. Severus didn’t know what Regulus was playing at. Wasn’t it clear Lily was not drawn to the Dark Arts in any way? “Who should I cast it on?” she asked. “Cast it on me.” Regulus raised his chin. Lily took out her wand and pointed it at Regulus’ mouth. “Suo Asculum,” she said. Nothing happened. “Try again,” Regulus prompted. “Suo Asculum.” Nothing. Lily tried eight more times, and did not produce a result. “Do you feel anything?” Regulus asked. Lily glared at him. “No! I mean, yes—it feels awful. All wrong. I feel slightly sick.”Regulus turned to Severus. Severus thought it was nice someone remembered he was sitting there. “Do you want to try?” asked Regulus. “A Dark curse?” Severus said. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t curious about the Dark Arts. But with Lily right there . . .“Try it,” Regulus egged. Severus pulled out his wand, and Lily passed him the book. There was an image. A drawing of a human face without a mouth. And the incantation Suo Asculum. To sew the mouth of your enemy closed, was written out below the incantation. And below that Counter Curse: Défaire Asculum. Severus raised his eyebrows at Regulus and the other boy nodded once. Pointing his wand at Regulus, Severus said, “Suo Asculum.” The skin of Regulus’ lips immediately began to melt together and within seconds his mouth had vanished to be replaced by smooth pale skin. “Holy hornets!” Lily shrieked, bringing her hands to her own mouth. Severus quickly looked again at the book, trying not to panic. “Défaire Asculum.”Regulus’ mouth began to reform and was soon back to its original shape. “And how do you feel, Severus?” Regulus asked, as if his mouth hadn’t just been sewn shut by magic. “Fine.” Regulus gave him an appraising look, then shifted his focus back to Lily. “I think you are an enigma. You’re not Dark. In fact I would venture you have an affinity at all, it’s a Light affinity. It’s an important thing to know because as I said, Blood magic is strongly tied to the Dark Arts. Other people who learn of your wandless magic might make the assumption you are Dark or have a Dark affinity.”“I don’t understand what you are saying.” It looked like she was close to tears, which Severus didn’t understand. “I’m trying to protect you,” said Regulus. “Let’s back up. No one is going to come bursting in here demanding you do a Dark ritual in the next ten minutes after all.” He looked between Severus and Lily. “Last winter break, I did some big magic. I hadn’t received my wand yet. And someone witnessed it and told me to study Occlumency and Blood magic. I’m also from a very old, established Dark family. “When I heard you could do wandless magic from Severus, I immediately assumed you were also Dark. Which would be sort of insane as a muggle-born. But Severus insisted you were not. Part of the reason I wanted to meet with you was to test if you could perform a Dark spell. Considering the difference in outcomes between your attempts and his”—Regulus pointed at Severus—“I think we can conclude which one of you has a Dark affinity.”Lily turned to Severus. “You mean Sev’s a Dark —”“I mean nothing,” Regulus interrupted. “There’s a lot of history and a lot of context you’re currently missing. For now, all you need to know is one of you is likely Dark and it isn’t Lily.”He continued, “What I don’t understand is, Blood magic—it’s supposed to stem from Dark magic. Blood rites, rituals, sacrifices, wards, they aren’t necessarily evil—certainly can be—but they are all aligned with the Dark. If Lily is wielding, but not Dark, I wonder if she is even using Blood magic or something else.”Regulus tapped his chin in a thoughtful way. “Could it be Light magic?” asked Severus.“I don’t think it would be Light magic. But what would be the type of magic most closely related with Light magic? Soul magic I should think. Soul magic is to Light magic what Blood magic is to Dark magic.”“While we are familiar with the term Soul magic, this is getting more and more complicated,” Lily said. “Calm down.” Regulus’ eyes were bright. “It isn’t complicated. I would venture the two types of magic in regards to wielding work in almost identical ways. Again the most important thing is to accept as insane as it may be, Lily is not Dark and no one should ever accuse her of being Dark for her capabilities. Now, we can use a similar approach as is given in the Blood magic book for strengthening your wielding. We can also explore Soul magic. And hold onto your pants, I happen to have a one of a kind resource where Soul magic is concerned.”Severus thought his eyes might roll right out of his head. First he shocks Regulus with the fact he sought him out for Blood magic knowledge, and now Regulus shocks him with yet another rare and valuable resource which may apply directly to Lily. The chances! Lily seemed to also be in a state of mild shock. “How did you come by a rare resource on Soul magic? In your Dark library?” she asked. “It didn’t come from the library. And now I am absolutely certain there are larger forces at work here, because the notebook came from a woman who was murdered in my house in 1937.”“Bloody hell, someone was murdered in your house,” Lily said, putting her hand over her mouth. Regulus nodded. “Gruesome right, it was a family actually. And the little girl—she was eight at the time—came back as a ghost. She’s been hiding in our house for what, thirty-five years and no one knew it. But she revealed herself to me, and led me to the notebook. The Soul magic notebook.“There is still so much to tell you, but I think the best course of action would be to start practicing. We would need space, more than this.” Regulus’ eyes flitted around the small hideaway. Severus thought for a boy who almost never spoke in public, Regulus sure had a lot to say in private. And his guard was completely down. He was a wholly different person than the Regulus who prowled the castle in the company of towering seventh years. “I might have a place,” Lily said. “We also know someone with an interest in Soul magic.” She gave Severus a significant look, but he shrugged. “Remember, Pandora mentioned her boyfriend was fascinated with it?”“Pandora?” Regulus said. “I know Pandora.” “Merlin’s saggiest y-fronts. I can’t handle anymore!” Severus felt like he was about to combust. It was too stuffy in the nook with three bodies crammed in there. “What’s wrong?” Lily asked.“There are too many coincidences. Regulus knows about Blood magic, Regulus knows about Occlumency, Regulus knows about Soul magic, Regulus knows Pandora. Is there anything you don’t know?” He didn’t know why he was so grumpy all of a sudden. And Lily was clearly not pleased, she was glaring daggers at him. “Maybe I’m just exceptionally well informed.” “Sev, what are you so angry about? This is all good!” Lily said. “It’s . . . I think it’s the fact you’re a Black. I’m sorry, but your family is insane and I don’t want to get mixed —”Regulus was laughing quietly, which caused Severus to break off mid-sentence. “I get it, trust me,” said Regulus. “Would it help you to know I’m not my brother, at all. I know he has particularly negative feelings toward Slytherin house. But more so, Sirius is volatile, hot-headed, emotional, and impulsive. I am not. “I walk the line, I shut down my emotions. I tolerate the insanity, because I am patient. I am a Slytherin. I will do what needs to be done. I will not wear my heart on my sleeve.”“Yes, but . . . you are also a pureblood elitist who discriminates against muggle-borns, steps on anyone who gets in your way, and is always acting in your own best interest. You being a Slytherin is exactly why we can’t trust you,” Severus said. He could feel heat rising in his cheeks. “Bit late for that now,” Regulus replied. “Besides, do you realize what I’ve just given you? I told my entire aura is a veneer. And do you know why? Because I want us to work together. I want to learn to wield, and I think we will all benefit from working as a team. It means I have to be honest with you, which I am currently doing. “I know my cousin is a piece of work. She’ll be gone after this year. Please don’t make us all delay the work we could be doing together because you want to keep your distance from Bellatrix. She won’t even find out.”Severus thought this was rich, coming from the boy who seemed unwilling to stand up to Bellatrix in his own self interest and who had warned Severus about how dangerous she could be. “Can I say something, please?” said Lily in a quiet voice. Severus didn’t realize how close he and Regulus had gotten in their anger. He leaned back quickly and took a few breaths. Neither of them responded to her, which she took as permission to speak.“You need another friend.”Severus clenched his teeth and gave Lily his nastiest look. “You need a friend in your own house, an ally. I want to learn more about wielding. And Regulus also wants to learn about wielding. It makes the three of us a perfect team. My concern is . . . tensions between the two houses seem to be on the rise. And tensions between purebloods and muggle-borns, like myself, are only going to get worse. Honestly, how can I trust either of you!” She let out a choked sob and threw her face down into her arms. All the fight drained out of Severus in an instant. He scooted over so he was right next to Lily and put a hand on her back. “Lily, we promised. I’ll never leave you. You will always be my best friend.” Severus patted her awkwardly and she let out little gasps. Regulus eyed Severus with an expression he thought was perhaps pity. “Um, Lily . . . you’re right. My family has generations deep prejudice against half-bloods and muggle-borns. Meeting you today has literally turned all my preconceived notions of blood purity on its head because you are clearly an immensely powerful muggle-born witch. Not only that, but you’re a real person. “I have to admit, I don’t think I have even spoken to a muggle-born before today. If Sirius has done one thing right, it has been his refusal to accept the status quo where my family is concerned. And he practically raised me.” Regulus stared at Lily. He reached out and grabbed her hand. To Severus’ complete dismay, this made Lily sob harder and she sort of threw herself at Regulus, who had the tact to open his arms and comfort her. Severus seethed. How could this little boy—who Lily had just met—embrace her in a way he never had but always wished he could? Why couldn’t he comfort her the way she needed? He squeezed his hands into fists so tight he felt his nails dig into the skin of his palms. They sat like that, Regulus with Lily in his arms, crying while Severus stewed, until Lily’s tears ebbed and she gave a hiccup. “Regulus,” Lily finally said, “you know he loves you right?”“I know.” Then he pushed Lily away gently and said, “Everything I do, it’s all for him. And he absolutely cannot know.”Lily nodded. “I understand.”Severus—who most pointedly did not understand—gave a loud cough. “If you two are done speaking in code . . .”“Give it up,” said Lily. “He doesn’t like sharing,” she said to Regulus.Severus blanched. “What? You have no idea what you are talking about.”“Don’t I? You are terrified I’m going to abandon you for James Bloody Potter. You refuse to spend time with any of my other friends. And look at you, losing it over a little brother comforting a little sister. Ugh, sometimes I don’t know why I put up with you.”“Oh, like you don’t love having my undivided attention? Like you don’t love the way I make you feel special?” Severus yelled in Spanish. “How dare you! You have no idea how you make me feel,” Lily jabbed him roughly in the chest. “But I know how you make me feel,” Severus shouted. Regulus was looking between them with wide eyes. “You need to curb your jealousy,” said Lily. “You’ve always given me the impression you don’t want us to be physically close. I work really hard to try and respect that.”Severus had a mild ringing in his ears. Lily was right. He was insanely jealous when it came to sharing her. He was not a touchy-feely person and he had made that clear to her. And he was becoming very confused about how the physical boundaries influenced the jealousy and by the fact he wanted both to punch and hug Lily. But by grindylows, he wasn’t going to admit those things to her. “I need some air,” he said. “Alohamora.” He pushed out the door and slammed it behind him. He hadn’t remembered to check to make sure the corridor was empty—thankfully it was. He strode into the trophy room and wandered the aisles of gleaming metal cups, medals, and trophies. After several minutes, he heard someone quietly approaching him. He spun and found himself facing Regulus, who looked very young now he was outside the confines of La Sala. He held out Severus’ bag, which Severus snatched and threw onto his shoulder. Regulus’ face wore an impassive expression again. He fixed Severus with dead eyes, and refused to look away. They stared at each other for several long breaths, and Severus felt himself shutting down as well. I am not here. I am nothing. I do not exist. As Severus’ expression morphed to mirror Regulus’, Regulus gave the tiniest smirk. He turned on his heel and walked away.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Chapter VI
A Pauper and A Princess
Severus was moody for a week following his and Lily’s argument. And Lily wasn’t helping anything. He thought she was intentionally making a show of being chummy with her Gryffindor housemates, especially Lupin and Pettigrew. At least she kept her distance from Potter and Black. Regulus had slipped a note onto his night table along with a small roll of parchment containing a few passages he had copied out of the Blood magic book.
Severus, I hope you find this information useful. Please pass it along to L. When can we meet again? - R.A.B.
Then in absolutely perfect penmanship, Regulus had copied out:
Blood magic is a general term for any magic involving the use of blood. This typically manifests in the physical use of blood as in a ward, an offering, or a curse. However, it can also refer to the ability to draw upon one’s magic through the physical body without a wand. This is referred to as wielding and it is uncommon in the magical community.
As Blood magic is also Dark magic, declared Dark witches and wizards have an easier time gaining the capacity to wield a specific Dark spell. Some individuals who are born with an advanced magical talent can wield a specific skill. The rarest wielders are born possessing the ability to wield any magic. However, intensive training throughout the education years is still imperative for developing functional channeling capacities. A mentor who can also wield will help guide a novice to achieve the greatest results, but it is rare for such a pair to find one another.
Wizards who can wield describe the sensation as immersing oneself in magic before drawing the magical energy to a concentrated area of the body then willing it to escape. Adrenaline and endorphins also play a role in strengthening an individual’s wielding capacity. There is documentation of wielders who can only perform mild magic wandlessly, finding themselves in a highly charged environment wherein they perform unrepeatable feats well beyond their known capacity.
As the rate of born wielders is so low, there is still much to be learned about them and their potential.
Beginner steps to wielding:
Feel your magic.
Harness your magic.
Express your magic.
Severus squinted at the last three lines. Those really were the most vague instructions he had ever seen. Thankfully, Lily was already able to do all three—albeit subconsciously. Severus wondered if she would be capable of guiding Regulus to achieve wielding at will, given how little she understood her own magic. His mind full of speculations about Blood magic, Severus was also working on a new spell. Something to pair with Muffliato to drive unwanted company away. He thought if he created such a spell, he and Lily might actually be able to study together. He no longer felt comfortable with them dining together as nothing short of invisibility would hide them from all the eyes in the great hall. But if they could repel others away and muffle their voices, anyone who came upon them should theoretically ignore them. Aside from the note, Regulus continued to be evasive, flanked by hulking seventh years. Severus wondered if Regulus had broached the topic of his constant supervision with Bellatrix. Regulus seemed quite clever; maybe he was waiting for the opportune moment. In the third week of October—when their tempers had finally cooled like the weather—Severus and Lily could be found in the dungeon classroom brewing a potion to get rid of toenail fungus. It was the first potion which would exceed their double class period in its brewing length. Thus one of them would have to come back and check on it; then bottle a sample for evaluation. “I’ll do it,” Severus said. He didn’t like the idea of Lily being in the dungeons alone. “Well . . . alright. But maybe next time I can do it. It had better turn out properly.”“Are you doubting my potion expertise?” Severus asked with a small smile. “No, but I like to be sure it looks right. And this time I won’t be able to —”“Control-freak,” Severus mock coughed into his fist. Lily gave him a gentle smack on the back of the head. “Arse,” she whispered. Severus ignored her and sprinkled a pinch of ground black pepper into their cauldron. It hissed, then quickly bubbled up, before receding just as quickly and turning a soft shade of orange. “Nearly there.” “Temperatus,” Lily said. A little golden number, 225 degrees, flashed in the air near their cauldron. “Bring the flame down slightly.”Severus lowered their flame with his wand. He supposed it was neat to be brewing on magical fires this year instead of the gas burners they used during first year. However, it was another factor which impacted the overall quality of the potions the class was producing. As much as Slughorn insisted they were a solid class, Severus felt there was still an awful lot of shoddy potion work. “Merlin’s balls,” came a panicked shout from the back of the room. Severus and Lily turned to see Petttigrew and Lupin leaping back from their potion which was in the process of frothing over with an orange foam so thick it looked nearly solid. Their cauldron was already hidden beneath the deluge, and it was spilling onto their table, dripping to the floor in great blobs. “Professor Slughorn,” Pettigrew shrieked.Professor Slughorn bustled over as fast as his rotund shape would permit. “Stay back, lads,” he said. Then he waved his wand and the contents of the cauldron—spillage and all—vanished. “For homework, I would like you to each write me an essay on where you went wrong in the brewing of this potion.”Lupin and Pettigrew nodded sheepishly. Severus could see Potter and Black holding back laughs. Slughorn retreated and Potter broke into fits of giggles. “It isn’t funny,” Lupin said to Potter. “Yes it is. ‘Merlin’s balls!’ I didn’t know you could screech so high, Remus.” Potter was spluttering, trying to talk through his laughter. Lupin turned red and crossed his arms tightly over his chest. “Do you know what happened?” Black asked, smirking slightly.“No, we went to add the minced toadstool and the whole thing bubbled over.”“Ah, that’s because you didn’t take it off the heat before adding the toadstool,” said Black. “Sev, I think it’s cooled enough.” Severus snapped his head back to his own work. Yet he did not miss as Lupin began to lay into Black. “Did you know we were doing something wrong —”Lily was stirring their potion smoothly with her wand, fifteen strokes in a clockwise motion. Then when the contents stilled, another fifteen strokes. “You could have prevented it!” Lupin shouted, drawing eyes from the room at large. “But how will you learn?” Black said. He flashed Lupin a smile and turned back to his own potion, which Potter was diligently stirring. “Let’s find a spot for our cauldron,” said Lily. They moved their cauldron to the side of the classroom where there was counter space set aside for second year potions. As they cleaned up their work station, Lily chatted idly and Severus kept his eyes down. He didn’t want to be accused of attracting attention if Potter and Black decided to stop by their table today. “Alright, Evans?” Potter said as he passed them, having dropped off a cauldron on the counter as well. “Potter,” Lily replied. Potter continued on his way. Severus let out a breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding. It did seem since Lily had slapped Potter in the first week of school, his open antagonism of Severus during potions had evaporated. But every lesson Severus felt sure the Gryffindor’s resolve might burst. “So you’re ‘Evans’ now?” Severus whispered to Lily. She shrugged. “We find it easier to get along when we don’t pretend to be so familiar.” Then she laughed. “It is kind of funny because I can’t imagine calling Remus ‘Lupin’ or Peter ‘Pettigrew.’” It seemed Lily was wise enough to leave Black out of it all together. “But Potter and I are cordial now, so something is working . . .”They shouldered their bags and headed out of the classroom. “You better be back to check the potion tomorrow morning before lessons. I guess it’s convenient you live down here,” Lily said. “Later, Sev.” She gave him a wave as she headed up the stairs following the rest of the Gryffindors. “Adiós,” Severus grumbled. He and Lily may be on good terms again, but he was still working through some confusing emotions, mostly involved with his desire to lift some of the boundaries he initially laid down between them. But it wasn’t really an option, because of who they were. A pauper and a princess. If Severus was certain of anything, it was the best thing he could do for Lily was keep their relationship firmly in the friend zone. No matter how the rest of his house might view their relationship or her blood status, she was leagues above him. She was Lily Bloody Evans. And he was an anti-social bookworm. Steeped in this unwelcome resolve, Severus tried to keep his internal conflict hidden from Lily in the coming weeks. So far, she had not commented. And she was not one to let an observation go unaddressed. But perhaps she was too preoccupied with other work to notice Severus’ tense mood. Lily had told him she had taken to practicing the Wingardium Leviosa spell wandlessly each night before bed. She hadn’t reported any results yet. And she was still preparing for her marginalized students club with Professor McGonagall. Severus’ mind was on his own extra curricular activities as he tread the familiar path back to his dorm room when he nearly walked into Regulus who was heading out toward the common room. The corridors of the dorm really are too narrow, Severus decided. He expected Regulus to ignore him; instead the younger boy turned around, grabbed Severus’ arm and tugged him into the first year’s dorm room. Regulus dragged him all the way to his bed, then climbed on and motioned for Severus to join him. He tugged the hangings into place and they were plunged into an eerie green half-light. “Cast that silencing charm,” Regulus whispered. “Silentum Maxima,” Severus said, waving his wand. Regulus began talking at once. “I’m such an idiot. I found something good in another book. I’ve had it with me all this time, but I forgot about it. Look.” And he reached underneath his pillow, pulling out a small red leather book. Regulus flipped it open and held it out to Severus. “Lumos,” Severus said, holding his wand tip to the page where he read:
Of all the types of known magick, Soul magick is the most mysterious. Soul magick is rooted in Light magick. However the theorized source of Soul magick is not Light magick, but life.
Severus furrowed his brow. “Is that it?”Regulus nodded. “This book is about all six of the ancient forms of magic. This page is all it says about Soul magic. But I think it is all we need to help Lily. We need to get together and practice.”Severus pursed his lips. “Well you’re the one avoiding everyone, so figure out when you can get away and we’ll meet you. Lily said she had a place; I never asked her where.”“Tonight,” Regulus said. “The seventh years have some year-wide meeting they have to attend. I also want to talk to you about Bellatrix. I think she would feel better about backing off if I have other Slytherins around me. Which she has basically prevented because none of the other first years want to hang around with a bunch of seventh years, and who can blame them?”“Are you asking me to be your escort?” Severus said with a sneer. “No, but I got the impression we could both benefit from an alliance.”Severus raised his eyebrows. “Like a friendship?”“Call it what you want. I don’t want to make promises to Bellatrix I can’t keep, otherwise she’ll come down twice as hard. But honestly, how am I supposed to build a reputation when all anyone sees of me is my perpetually babysat arse?”Severus knew such an alliance was exactly what Lily had hinted at a few weeks ago. Now some time had passed, he didn’t find the idea totally repulsive. Regulus was alright—when he wasn’t vacant or surly. Which was rare. “Well do you have to be so broody all the time?” Severus said. “Look who’s talking! You aren’t exactly charismatic yourself.”“But I like it that way.”“So do I.”“You know friends generally do things like talk, perhaps even laugh, in public? You don’t seem likely to exhibit those characteristics,” Severus argued. “If you want people to believe we are friends, we have to do more than skulk around together.”“Again, right back at you. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you talk to anyone but my cousin and Lily.”“Okay, so we could both improve our social skills.” Why did Regulus have to be so difficult?“It’s all about generating the right image,” said Regulus. “We don’t want to be weird, we want to be intriguing.”“Speak for yourself.” Severus was ready to escape the claustrophobic confines of Regulus’ bed. “Intriguing is alluring. When people are drawn to you, they listen to you, they respect you, they trust you. Those are important qualities to possess. Especially if you need to mislead or distract them.”“Geeze, you seem to have spent a lot of time contemplating social manipulation.”Regulus held out his hands innocently. “When you grow up in my family, it’s sort of inevitable.”“So that’s why Sirius makes such a spectacle of himself, is it?” “We each have our methods, mine are more subtle.”Severus ultimately couldn’t see anything wrong with being friends with Regulus. They would both benefit from such an arrangement. “I’ll do it,” said Severus. “But can we not start hanging out in each other’s beds? This is kind of weirding me out.” Severus gazed around in the light of his wand. “I hate sleeping in here alone,” Regulus whispered. “I can tell you right now, I will not —”“That’s not at all what I’m saying. Sirius used to be really kind to me. He helped calm me down when I got worked up. It was nice to feel like I had someone, like someone cared.” Regulus ended by rubbing his hands over his face. Severus stayed quiet. This felt like one of those Lily moments when he didn’t know the right thing to say or do. He was a statue of indecision. By the time he decided he should reach over and pat Regulus on the leg, Regulus had shifted to pull back the curtains. “Come on, let’s get out of here before one of my dormmates comes in.” Severus was able to signal to Lily at dinner he wanted a word. She met him out in the entrance hall looking curious. “Regulus found something else, and he wants to meet again. Do you really have a place?” Severus asked. He didn’t expect Lily to jump and clap her hands in excitement. “Yes, oh, it’s perfect. Can you meet me on the seventh floor, there is a suit of armor there which is notoriously foul mouthed, do you know it?” Severus nodded. “Meet me there at seven.”Severus returned to the great hall to find Regulus in a quiet and subtle debate with Bellatrix. He knew this was all part of Regulus’ strategy as it had been made clear to them that Slytherins don’t argue with each other in public. “I’m never going to make my own friends. How am I supposed to be in a position of influence when no one even knows me?”“Don’t be ridiculous, everyone knows you,” she replied, cutting her steak into tiny pieces. “They know of me, but they don’t know me. I need to have a life of my own. You’re going to graduate and next year I can’t start from the ground up building relationships with my housemates,” Regulus said. Bellatrix chewed slowly, then swallowed before speaking. “I don’t trust the Gryffindors. Especially not with Sirius in their midst. You’ll be target practice for them, Reggie.”“What if I keep other Slytherins around.”“Other Slytherins?” Bellatrix repeated, as if this concept was entirely foreign to her. Then she nodded. “I see, of course, I’m being possessive. I don’t want you walking the halls alone, do you hear me? But yes, I think other Slytherins would be an acceptable alternative.”“Good, because I’ve been speaking with Severus, I think we can maybe be friends —”The look on Bellatrix’s face became positively mischievous. “Reggie, how brilliant. Severus of course. And anyone else you find who shows promise . . .”Regulus narrowed his eyes at her. “Right, well on that note—Severus and I will be off.” He stood and walked by Severus, tapping him on the shoulder and inclining his head in an invitation to accompany him. They exited the great hall together. “Lily said to meet at seven on the seventh floor, at the swearing suit of armor.”“Perfect,” Regulus said. “Oi, Snivellus!” That could only be one of two people calling down the corridor. They must have been followed out of the great hall. “Are you serious?” Severus said loudly as he turned. “Damn right I am!” Black gave him a massive smile, which turned quickly into a snarl. Potter was beside him. “It seemed Bellatrix was right about you,” Regulus said to his brother. “She’s had me under constant supervision since the year began because she was convinced the Gryffindors wouldn’t be able to resist hexing me senseless. And look, not two minutes out of sight of those bothersome seventh years and the lions descend.”Black gave Regulus a truly unpleasant glare. Potter took a step forward, his hand in his pocket. “You wouldn’t want to prove her right, would you? You know how much Bellatrix loves to be right.” Regulus raised his chin and kept his eyes locked on Black. “Great lot of good Snivellus is going to do warding off violent attacks” Black said. But Severus had had enough, he quickly drew his wand from his pocket and said, “Petrificus Totalus.” Black went stiff as a board and fell backwards onto the floor. “Expelliarmus!” Potter cried, but Severus had moved as he cast and Potter’s spell went wide. Regulus flung himself against the wall, while Severus shouted, “Locomotor Wibbly.” Potter collapsed on wobbly legs, but he’d pointed his wand at Black and cast a Finite Incantatum. Black jumped to his feet and was still reaching for his wand when Severus said, “Langlock.” Unable to cast a spell, Black took a run at Severus, who bolted down the corridor. Then Regulus shouted, “Pediter.” And Black tripped, skidding several feet down the hallway in Severus’ wake. Severus stopped and turned, Regulus had leapt on Black and a hitting battle ensued. “What in the name of Merlin is going on here?” a voice said. It was a Prefect—Hufflepuff by the colors on her robes. Regulus and Black were still locked in their scuffle, but Potter pointed down the hall and said, “Snape attacked us!” Oh, now you use my proper name, Severus thought bitterly. He lifted Sirius’ Langlock so as not to seem suspicious.“Well, somebody get these two apart,” the Prefect ordered. Potter and Severus, each wearing a distinctly nasty look, converged on the Black brothers. Black was currently on top, so Potter grabbed him and pulled him off Regulus, whom Severus helped to his feet. Black had a bloody nose, and Regulus had several red scratches across his face. “Do any of you want to explain what happened? Otherwise it’s detention for all four of you,” the Prefect said. All four boys kept their mouths clamped shut. “Fine.” The girl reached into her pocket and took out four slips of parchment. “Names.” “You mean you don’t know us already?” Black said, pointing to himself and Potter. The Prefect raised her eyebrows and scowled. Black huffed. As they each muttered their name, the girl tapped one of the slips. Then she handed them out. “Take this to your head of house. The Deputy Headmistress will know if it isn’t done.” She strode away. “Let’s go,” Regulus said as he grabbed Severus’ arm and steered him down the corridor. Severus was kicking himself for his impulsivity. So far he had avoided actually attacking the Potter-Black duo, but now he was going to be in for it. He would need someone watching his back. “Sorry,” Severus said. “I shouldn’t have done that. They have been egging me on for over a year and I guess I just . . . snapped.”“It’s okay, it was only a matter of time before Sirius and I went at it. Now that’s out of the way, maybe he’ll leave me alone.” Severus gave a noncommittal grunt. But Regulus continued, “Have you ever thought about how terrible wizards are at physically fighting? We are trained to use our wands, but not our bodies . . .” Regulus trailed off. “Don’t see why you care,” said Severus. “I’m just thinking out loud.” “Well think to yourself.”After seeking out Professor Slughorn in his chambers and turning in their detention slips, Severus and Regulus headed to the seventh floor. “Didn’t seem too keen on even making us do a detention, did he?” Regulus said. “He doesn’t want to give up his free evening.” They were both to report to Professor Slughorn the following evening at eight to perform some to be determined cleaning task. “I don’t reckon we’ll get to use magic,” Regulus said. “I don’t know any cleaning spells anyway, but I do have plenty of experience cleaning the muggle way,” said Severus. “Do you?” Severus realized he had let a comment about his blood status slip; it was the very first time since he had started at Hogwarts. For all the house knew, he was a pureblood. “Oh . . . yeah. Mi mamá likes me to help her clean at home, she thinks it’s quaint.”Regulus gave him an extremely skeptical look. Severus shrugged and arranged his face in a neutral expression. The other boy let it drop. They had reached the seventh floor and as they came around a corner, they saw Lily reading near a suit of armor. “¡Hola!” Severus said, “Hiya!” Lily jumped up. “What happened to your face?” she asked Regulus as they strode down the corridor.“My dormmate has a really grumpy cat. I tried to mess with it.”“And what, it attached itself to your face?” asked Lily. “Something like that.”“If you don’t want to tell me, you can just say so.” “Yeah, not going to tell you,” Regulus said. Lily shrugged. “Here we are.” They were standing in the corridor by a tapestry of a wizard directing some trolls who were adorned in ballet attire. “Yikes,” Severus said. “I’ve never noticed that one before. What wizards consider ‘art’ is highly questionable.”But Lily was strolling up and down, a few steps in each direction, mumbling to herself. Then to Severus’ utter astonishment, a plain wooden door materialized in the stone wall directly across from the tapestry. Lily hurried forward, and ushered them into the room. Both Severus and Regulus were too impressed to argue.After she closed the door, Regulus said, “Well that was impressive!”Lily smiled. “Professor McGonagall told me about the room. I hope she doesn’t mind we’re using it for our own purposes. Apparently you can ask it for pretty much anything, and it will become the space you need. It’s called the Room of Requirement.”“Wow.” Regulus looked every bit the wide-eyed eleven year old he was. “Is this where your little club is going to meet?” Severus asked in Spanish, knowing Regulus would not be able to understand him.Lily narrowed her eyes at him and crossed her arms, but kept her lips locked. “I’ll take that as a yes.” “Let’s get to work. There is a reason why we are here, isn’t there?” Lily said. The room was very simple—perhaps the size of Severus’ dorm room—completely bare of furniture. There were some tapestries on the walls. “Shall we sit?” asked Regulus. Immediately three very plump cushions materialized on the floor. Severus fought a grin, and he saw Lily was beaming, eyes wide in wonder. They each took a seat. Regulus opened his book bag and pulled out the red covered Magick. He passed it to Lily. “This is another book I found in my library before school started. It’s about ancient magic, and it mentions Soul magic. I think it might help you.” Lily quickly read the marked page. “Is that it?” She repeated Severus’ own assessment of the words. Regulus nodded. “But I think it gives us exactly what we are looking for. Can you describe again what your magic feels like?”“It feels like magic —”“No, you need to really feel it. Close your eyes.” Lily obliged. “Now feel the magic. Is it warm, is it light, is it prickly, is it —”“I get it.” They all sat in silence waiting for Lily to identify exactly what the magic pulsing in her veins felt like. Eventually Regulus closed his eyes too. And after what felt like at least ten minutes, Lily gave a cough. Severus sat up from where he had reclined on his cushion. The boys looked at Lily. “It feels like sunlight on skin, like the wind in my hair, warm and fresh.”“Now try to draw that feeling somewhere in your body,” Regulus said. Lily nodded, she gazed straight ahead. A few beats passed, and Lily slowly held her hands out palms up. Then the Magick book floated gently into the air along with Regulus’ book bag. Then Regulus himself atop his cushion and soon Severus as well. Lily let out a little noise of excitement and with a padded thump, the boys came back to the ground, along with the book and bag. Lily clapped her hands to her mouth. “It was Wingardium Leviosa. That’s the spell I was thinking of,” she said. “Lily, that was amazing,” Regulus said. A smile spread across his usually expressionless face. “It was really good, Lily. First try, impressive.” Severus couldn’t keep a smile off his face as he saw Lily beaming, her face a bit pink. “I want Regulus to try,” she said. “That will be a tough act to follow.”“Come on,” said Lily. She reached out and grabbed his hand. “This is the whole point isn’t it, us practicing together.” Severus saw Regulus glance down at his hand which Lily was squeezing. He licked his lips and said, “Okay, I’ll try.” Lily clapped in excitement. At least she’d released Regulus’ hand. “Can you help me find the magic? I haven’t even been able to do that. At least not since the accidental time.” Lily nodded, Severus reclined on his cushion again. This might take a while, he thought. “Close your eyes,” Lily said. Regulus did. “Now, choose a color. It can be any color you want, but it should feel good to you, comfortable. Imagine an orb of the color pulsing in your chest, in rhythm with your heart.” Lily paused. “Do you have it?”“Yes,” Regulus whispered. “Imagine the color seeping into your blood, into your veins. Maybe it has a sensation, maybe it is just the color. It’s in your blood and with every beat of your heart, it’s pushed to the extremities of your body and back again. It expands and contracts, but it happens so consistently that your body is constantly full of the color, the sensation. “Now take that color and imagine it coming to life. It rejoices in the home of your body, but it also wants to serve you. It longs to connect with the life around you.” Lily’s voice faded away, and they sat in silence for a long time. Severus was nearly dozing on his cushion, they really were very comfortable. “I feel it, it’s thick and hot,” Regulus finally whispered. “Hold out your hand,” Lily said. Severus lifted his head to watch as Lily placed a small paper crane in Regulus’ outstretched hand. Regulus stared at it, his breathing quickened and all at once the crane burst into flame. Regulus let out a yelp and dropped the flaming paper bird. It floated to the floor and quickly burned to ash.“Blimey, didn’t know that was going to happen!”Lily’s eyes were wide. “At least something happened.”Regulus was blowing on his hand and examining his palm. “Something is better than nothing,” Severus said. He had to admit, it was somewhat depressing to be the odd one out. He had discovered Lily’s special talent, and it had felt like their secret. Now Regulus was not only involved, he also had the rare talent. Severus humph’d to himself, playing with the laces on his trainers. Then Lily was shouting. “Regulus, Regulus!” Severus looked up and saw Regulus had fallen back and was twitching violently.“Regulus, Regulus!” Lily had her hands on his face and chest. Severus quickly moved to his other side and they locked eyes over Regulus’ spasming body. No matter how much they called his name, he didn’t gain awareness. Severus went as far as slapping him across the face, which caused Lily to burst into tears. Finally after what felt like an eternity, Regulus’ body stilled and then he slowly blinked open his eyes. “What the fuck!” Severus shouted. Regulus looked around wearily. “Did I black out?”“Um, yes!” said Lily. “Are you okay? You were thrashing around. We couldn’t wake you.”A resigned look came over Regulus. He rubbed his hands over his face and sighed. “I’m fine.” He propped himself up on his elbows. “Sorry, that happens to me sometimes. I didn’t think to warn you. It hasn’t happened in a while, I sort of . . . thought it had passed.”“What was it?” Severus asked. “An . . . episode.” Regulus shook his head. “The healers at St Mungo’s were never completely certain.” Then Regulus’ eyes widened and he looked at Lily. “Have you ever heard of seizures?”Lily shook her head. “No.”“It’s a muggle term apparently. I don’t know. I’m doing Occlumency to help counter it, and it’s been extremely effective. I guess wielding lowered my mental guards and I didn’t lock back up.” “So that’s why you always look so checked out,” said Severus. “That and other reasons.” Regulus nodded. “But yeah, it’s a byproduct of constantly Occluding. It’s pretty draining.”Severus already knew something about this himself. Not that he practiced what Regulus called Occlumency nearly as frequently. Yet, it was his body’s natural response to threats. He did find himself slipping into it more and more these days as intense confusing emotions threatened to take over. “Don’t you ever get tired of feeling numb?” he whispered. “I don’t have a choice.” Regulus stared back. “Can you imagine if I was dropping like that all over the school?” His face visibly paled. “And Sirius, he cannot see—he cannot know it’s still happening.”“But Regulus, if you’re in danger —” Lily said.“I’m not in danger,” said Regulus. “It’s embarrassing; it makes me look weak. I am weak.” He flopped back on the cushion and fisted his hands over his eyes. “So weak.”“Regulus Black,” Lily said, wiping her eyes with the heels of her hands. “You are not weak, you just wielded with Blood magic. Do you know how rare that is?”“This isn’t about my magical abilities.” Regulus spoke from the floor. “I turned on him, in our own home. My best friend, my brother. I as good as told him he was dead to me. Instead of standing with him, I am standing against him. I allied myself with every other person in our family who sees him as a disgrace.”Severus wasn’t sure if Regulus was admitting all this because he still wasn’t Occluding, and was processing a flood of emotions he’d been holding back for months, or if the scuffle in the corridor had reminded him of this distress about his relationship with Black, of all people. “Regulus,” Lily said, placing a hand on his arm, “my sister hates me. She calls me a freak and an abomination. We used to be so close, but when I went to Hogwarts . . .” Lily let out another little choked sob. “Tuney said she didn’t want anything to do with me anymore. But you know what, I still love her. And I know she still loves me, deep down. Someday, we’ll get the chance to show each other again, I hope. You and Sirius will too. I know it.”Regulus lowered his hands and sat up so he could look at Lily with red eyes. “I’m so sorry,” he said. “Sirius was so good to me, for all our lives really. And how am I repaying him?”However, Severus finally had something to say. “Regulus, you know as well as I you are doing far more good for him than harm. You are throwing yourself to the wolves on his behalf. That is not weak, in fact it’s a bit . . .” And Severus shot Lily a quick look before continuing. “It’s really brave—Gryffindor brave.”“Then it is stupidly brave . . . It doesn’t feel brave to me. I’m only doing what seems easiest given our family. Maybe if I wasn’t taking the easy way out, we could still have each other,” said Regulus. “I don’t think there is anything easy about being you,” Lily said. And to Severus’ utter horror, Regulus let out a strangled sob and reached for Lily, who obliged him immediately. Tucking him into her chest and stroking his black hair, tears quietly steaming down her own face. Severus knew the best thing for him to do was leave them to it. He gave Lily a small nod, which she returned, before striding to the door and closing it behind him. He moved down the corridor and started trying doors. The first one which opened for him was a lavatory, one of the single occupancy ones. Perfect. He slammed the door and cast a “Colloportus” and a “Silentium Maxima” before sliding down the wall to the floor and gripping his hair in desperation. He let out a wail, then sobbed uncontrollably into his knees for several minutes. By the time Severus’ tears ebbed, he felt completely wrung out. Lily was so kind, she was life, and light, and love. How many times had she reached out to him, only to be shut down; even when he was hurting, especially then. To see Regulus completely break down, and Lily to scoop him up, it hurt so, so bad. He had never been there for Lily like he wanted. And he had raised wall after wall between them when she had seen him in pain until he had simply decided to stop letting her see him in pain. All they had was anger. They threw words at each other then forgave each other. It was a type of love. Perhaps it was the type of love his parents had. But Severus knew it wasn’t enough. He wanted more. He did not want to become his father.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Chapter VII
Halloween, Also Known as Samhain
Severus waited in the bathroom—pushing curfew to the limit—before heading back to his dorm. Thankfully he didn’t cross paths with Bellatrix, the common room being quite empty when he returned alone. The seventh years were still in their year-wide meeting. He hoped Regulus had had the mind to get back before curfew as well. Between the earlier fight with Black and Potter, and then his abandoning Regulus, they hadn’t modeled behavior he thought Bellatrix would have approved of. The fighting, maybe. But she would want to put Regulus back under her thumb. And it had only been a single day of ‘freedom.’The following evening found Severus and Regulus serving their detention with Slughorn, scrubbing the ancient grout of the stone floor in the Potions classroom with toothbrushes. Even Severus had never cleaned with a toothbrush before. It was a bit tense until Slughorn excused himself for a solid thirty minutes, during which he no doubt consumed a few glasses of mulled mead, for he hiccupped when he returned and dismissed them with a slight slur. “About last night,” Regulus said as they massaged their wrists after Slughorn had dismissed them.“It’s fine. Lily is affectionate and she always knows the right —”“No, it’s not that,” Regulus said. “I mean, sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I’m better now, pulled it together. It’s about something else, I know you aren’t likely to talk to Sirius, but . . .”“No need, Regulus, we’re both Slytherin’s remember?” Severus gave him an earnest look then drew a little X over his heart with his pointer finger. It was something he’d seen Lily do once, just another one of her many symbolic pacts. “It means I cross-my-heart-hope-to-die-stick-a-needle-in-my-eye swear I won’t tell him what you said.”“Well, thanks. But that’s a weird way to say it.”Severus shrugged. “Lily’s full of them. Must be a muggle thing or a Gryffindor thing. She’s made me do so many spit promises.” He snorted. Regulus looked curious. “What’s a ‘spit promise’.”“Here I’ll show you. I, Severus Snape, promise to never reveal what an emotional person you are to anyone, Gryffindor or not.” Then he spit into his right hand and held it out to Regulus, who immediately looked repulsed. “Am I supposed to touch that?” He asked, pointing at Severus’ spit covered palm. Severus nodded with his eyebrows raised, trying to keep a straight face. “No way!”“Oh, come on, it’ll cement our friendship,” he said. Regulus wrinkled his nose, then did a tiny dignified spit into his hand and held it out, while also turning his head away and closing his eyes. Severus gripped his hand tightly and it made a little squelch. “Yuck, yuck, yuck!” Regulus squirmed. “Now,” Severus said, “you can’t wash that hand for a week.”Regulus gaped at him, and sputtered until Severus gave him a cheeky grin. “Bastard,” Regulus said, punching Severus on the arm. They both promptly wiped their hands on their robes. “At least you know what it is now, in case Lily ever initiates one with you.”“Muggles are crazy.”“Gryffindors are crazy,” said Severus.Regulus chuckled, they had reached the wall concealing the common room. October was quickly coming to an end; for most of the school quidditch was in the air. But Severus had two unnerving things to occupy his mind leaving no room for petty things like quidditch. One involved Remus Lupin and the other involved Bellatrix Black. Severus noticed Lupin was absent during their next Potions lesson. This in itself was an oddity as hardly anyone was ever absent from Potions; they only had it once a week, so it wasn’t a lesson to skive off. But Lupin’s absence was paired with an extremely agitated Black. It was normal for Potter and Black to at least put on a verbal show during Potions, jibing with each other, or their fellow Gryffindors. They knew not to go after the Slytherins unless the Slytherins were asking for it. But on this day, Black skulked behind their cauldron and made nothing but snippy responses to Potter’s attempts at humor. Potter was clearly unphased and ordered Black around as they brewed a potion to calm an upset stomach. “Where’s Lupin?” Severus asked Lily.“I don’t know. He hasn’t been in any lessons today.”“Is he in the hospital wing?”“Don’t know. Look, can you hand me some of those ant antenna? We need to add them next and then the honeysuckle syrup.”Severus passed her the vial containing ant antenna, and Lily used her scales to weigh out a tenth of an ounce, then she swept the contents into the cauldron. A fine layer of hair seemed to grow on the top of the potion, but Severus stirred it and the hair melded back into the mixture. “Gross, not an appetizing brew,” he said. “They rarely are.”At the end of the lesson, corked bottles of potion samples littered Slughorn’s desk. Severus bid Lily farewell as she climbed the steps out of the dungeons and he walked in the other direction to the common room. Once wrapped securely in his spelled four poster, Severus thought back to why Lupin’s absence was so irksome. And he remembered a distant conversation he’d stumbled upon between Potter and Black. He remembered the words ‘ his secret ’ and ‘ we back him one hundred percent ’ being used. But he didn’t remember Lupin’s name being mentioned, so really they could have been talking about any ‘he.’ Still, the whole situation made him feel like he’d forgotten to add a potion ingredient and couldn’t remember which one. While Lupin’s absence was setting off alarm bells in Severus’ subconscious, it was nothing compared to the unease he felt after Bellatrix approached him a few days before Halloween. “Severus,” she said, edging over to him as he stood next to Regulus in a shadowy corner of the common room. Regulus had suggested they needed to be seen publicly together if they wanted people to believe they were friends, so they’d taken to lingering in the common room on occasion. “Bellatrix.” Severus nodded to her. “No need to sound so resigned.” Bellatrix, whose lips matched the red varnish on her long nails, smiled her most lurid smile. “I’d like to invite you to another festival. Samhain is on Tuesday. Attend.”Severus was slightly older and wiser than he had been at the beginning of the year. “What will it entail, exactly?”“Just a traditional circle, no rituals, some people may perform personal rites. I hope you perform an affinity rite before I graduate. I’d love for my suspicions about you to be confirmed.” Severus stiffened slightly. “It sounds harmless enough. Regulus and I’ll go together.” Regulus nodded in agreement. “Wonderful,” Bellatrix clapped her hands. Then she lowered her voice and leaned in closer as if about to divulge a delicious secret. “And do my eyes deceive me or are you and your mudblood on the outs? Her presence has not sullied our table for weeks. I couldn’t help but wonder if you’ve read the most recent editorial in the Daily Prophet regarding the harm muggle-borns do to our traditional magical ways?” And she slapped a rolled up copy of the Daily Prophet into Severus’ chest. “Enjoy ickle children,” she said with a cackle and slipped away. Severus and Regulus moved together and glanced over the front page of the paper. There was a long article about the Chudley Cannons’ new chaser, and two smaller pieces: one about mitigating an overpopulation of garden gnomes, the other a piece on some new legislation passed by the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office at the Ministry of Magic. “Editorials are always in the middle.” Regulus opened the paper page by page until they found the editorials.
Diehard or Dying Out?
The title of the editorial declared. Then it continued:
As the season of darkness sets in around us, witches and wizards across the nation will gather to celebrate the fall and winter festivals. However, as more and more muggles are introduced to the wizarding world, either through marriage or through suspiciously magical offspring, they push their consumerist holidays upon the magical community.
For centuries magical families have been celebrating Samhain, but only in the last fifty years or so, has the concept of Halloween supplanted the original purpose of this meaningful day. Even at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the oldest and most established magical academy in the British Isles, administration has seen fit to rechristen the Samhain festival as a ‘Halloween Feast.’
One cannot help but wonder what the founders of the prestigious academy would have to say about the school’s abandonment of ancient magical traditions. I seem to remember Headmaster Dippett claiming the changes were due to ‘changes in popular opinion among the student body.’ But I have to wonder how many students were actually consulted for their opinion.
Headmaster Black had no qualms with the official celebration of cyclical festivals by the wider student body when in his tenure as Headmaster. In fact, Headmaster Black encouraged students and professors alike to observe the traditions established when magic was still new to the world.
Headmaster Dumbledore has barely given the festivals a nod of acknowledgement, allowing students to gather on the grounds and rearranging the normal curfew, but little else. I have it from a personal source that faculty are asked to not participate, as doing so would ‘give the wrong idea to young and impressionable minds.’
I question what message these ‘young impressionable minds’ are receiving if it isn’t to honor our heritage.
While we must always stay attuned to changing tides, the disregard of festivals in the name of modernizing the wizarding world is paramount to forgetting our magical roots. And it must be questioned if this is not the work of muggle-born and muggle sympathizing witches and wizards.
As intruding members of society who do not understand the ancient and rich history of our people, they seek to uproot the oldest traditions to set standards which they do understand. Instead of learning our ways, they are indoctrinating us with theirs. At a great cost to our younger generations, and the old wizarding communities who are finding their sense of camaraderie more and more frayed.
I implore all witches and wizards to continue honoring the cyclical festivals. And to disengage from the ‘modern muggle replacements.’
Yours in fellowship, Pollux Black
Regulus heaved a sigh. “That’s my Christmas obliterated. Last year must have been one too many Black family Christmas gatherings for Grandad Pollux. Sirius did make a right todger of himself.”“This was written by your Grandfather?”Regulus pointed to the sign off. “He’s a nasty character. I think even mum resents he’s still alive. He once threatened to lock Sirius in the cellar for a month on starvation rations because Sirius wore navy formal robes instead of black to a wedding. I don’t even know where Sirius got blue robes. Probably magic’d them in a burst of raw childhood magic. I know he’s done his hair at least twice after mum sheared it off. After the second time she gave up.”Severus—who was royally unconcerned with the color of Black’s dress robes or his hair length—grunted then said, “But is this true? Are the old ways dying out? My family’s never observed any of the cyclical festivals. I didn’t even realize they were a big deal.”“They are to some, but the number is shrinking fast. Especially with the reputation the Dark Arts are garnering. Half the festivals are Dark celebrations and half are Light, but somehow the focus always seems to be on the Dark ones and how they are the breeding grounds of outlandish and vile deeds, corrupting the minds of honest, well intentioned wizards.”Regulus shook his head. “The celebrations are what people make them. Evil people will do evil Dark deeds, but not every Dark witch or wizard is evil hearted. But to the Ministry it’s always act first and ask questions later where the Dark Arts are concerned. “Dumbledore is a big proponent of assumed ill intent. Basically a Dark wizard has to be able to prove he wasn’t doing anything harmful if caught practicing otherwise he is assumed guilty. And things get really messy when a harmful act by one is a helpful act to another.”“What do you mean?” Severus asked. “Take Blood magic. It often requires a blood sacrifice, which rarely means killing someone or pints of sacrificial blood. But if a mother needs to slice her child’s finger as well as her own to complete a blood rite, the Ministry will see the little cut as serious harm to an innocent child.“And celebrating the Dark days is not evil in and of itself. Even Dumbledore recognizes that, as he has allowed the celebrations to continue upon becoming headmaster. For some reason, Light witches and wizards haven’t been as vocal about their interest in continuing the celebrations, which leaves the Dark community as the sole advocates. You can see the trouble it brews.”“So your whole family celebrates the cyclical festivals?”“Yeah, ever since I can remember. Yule is my favorite, you should come. There’s a huge gathering every year.”“Thanks but I’m staying at Hogwarts this Christmas—I mean this winter . . . holiday . . . time . . .” Regulus gave a soft laugh. “I’ve also celebrated Christmas as long as I can remember, we just did both. But now . . . I don’t think we’ll have a Christmas tree in our sitting room this year. Anyway, you can still attend Yule. It’s the longest night of the year and the Dark offers some pretty spectacular magic to those who choose to use it. I’ll explain it more later, for now let’s get out of here.”As they passed Bellatrix and her companions, Regulus tossed the Prophet to her. “Very informative reading, cousin, thank you.” And he let a small smile play across his lips. “Anytime, Reggie,” Bellatrix said. “Tootles.”They were well out of sight of the common room when Severus whispered, “She gives me the creeps.”“I won’t be sorry she isn’t around next year, that’s for sure.”The Potions lesson which fell the day before Halloween and Samhain, found Lupin back among them. Severus spent far too long studying the strange boy. He was always far more mild mannered than either Black or Potter, but he had a shifty way about him nonetheless. Lupin’s face and hands were scarred. Little white lines interspersed with the brown freckles to give his skin a distinct texture. Severus couldn’t imagine how a person in the magical community ended up with so many scars. He had tried to bring it up with Lily during their last practice session with Regulus, but Lily was utterly uninterested in discussing it with him. The three of them had taken to meeting on Thursday evenings after dinner in the Room of Requirement to practice wielding. Lily was working on getting faster concentrating her magic before channeling a spell; she still used Wingardium Leviosa for the majority of her practice. Regulus was getting more familiar with finding and feeling his magic, and had not incinerated any more paper cranes. But Lily encouraged him to practice summoning the fire intentionally, so he was working to conjure a small flame in a glass jar. “I don’t know why you care so much, Sev,” Lily had said when he’d broached the subject of Lupin. And Severus realized he was cornered, for defending himself would surely indicate an unhealthy level of interest for a Slytherin to show a non-bullying Gryffindor. Until he had a solid concern to voice, being worried about a strange and potentially sickly Gryffindor was not in line with his Slytherin values. So he gave up discussing it with Lily for the time being. And of course Regulus hardly knew who Lupin was.“Do you mean that tall boy with a sort of big nose who hangs around with Sirius? I’ve hardly noticed him.”And when would Regulus have a chance to lay eyes on Lupin anyway? “But watch!” Regulus had snapped his fingers over an empty glass jar, where a small flame flared to life. “Very cool.” Regulus said he was also practicing on his own, and that the ‘fire trick’ as he called it had taken a significant amount of failure before he began to succeed.As it was so close to a holiday, Professor Slughorn—who always tended to ease off lessons when the energy in the school became excessive—had refrained from a practical lesson, instead lecturing them on the properties of healing draughts before dismissing them early. “Oh, this is convenient, I’m going to finalize my club’s banner design. Professor McGonagall asked for it before Halloween. I guess I’m cutting it a bit close, but,” Lily shrugged, “I’ve been busy. Later, Sev!”“Adiós,” he said. “Wait, Lily!” He hurried after her; they were the tail end of the class. She stopped and gave him a little smile.“Yeah?”Severus took a shifty glance around the corridor, no one was around. “Um, can I . . . would you mind if I . . . I just wondered . . .” Severus could feel his face turning very red, but he had been talking himself up to this moment for a week. “Can-I-give-you-a-hug?” he said.Lily’s face brightened. “Sure.” She immediately wrapped him in a warm embrace. Severus put his arms around her too and though it felt awkward it also felt good. So good that he squeezed her a little tighter before releasing her. He could tell his face was burning, but Lily had the grace to not mention it. “Is that something you are okay with now?” she asked softly in Spanish.“Maybe just in private.” Lily’s face fell slightly but she nodded. “I understand.” Then before she walked away she said, “Sev, I really like hugging you.” Severus’ face burned even brighter, he thought he could feel blood pulsing in his ears. “I like hugging you too, Lily.” She gave him a wave and headed up the stairs. There was an excited energy in the castle the day of Halloween. The Halloween feast always promised to be memorable, for the beautiful decorations if nothing else. Severus didn’t know how the teacher’s got the great hall bedecked in fall decor, jack-o-lanterns, and bats between the end of lunch and the start of the feast, but they managed it. The house-elves had prepared a variety of autumn themed dishes: pumpkin soup, pumpkin bread, pumpkin ziti, and pumpkin stuffed mushrooms among them. Severus was enjoying the bite sized pumpkin stuffed mushrooms which were topped with melted cheese when a gasp went up through the crowded hall. Severus looked around and saw the ghosts soaring around theatrically. They all began singing some kind of spooky lament. As a hush fell over the hall, the words of the ghost’s song became clear. “Fly, fly, fly. The leaves are leaving the branch. Cold are the winds, winter is coming.”They repeated these slow lines and soon converged in the center of the hall, several feet above the dining tables. Then the ghosts let out one last, long “Winter is co-ming!” and shot out to the edges of the hall as snow began to fall from the enchanted ceiling. It was not the snow which normally fell in the great hall, never reaching the diners. It felt real as it landed on Severus’ face and hands; some people started exclaiming in shock. In only seconds the snow thickened, he could no longer see the other house tables. Then it felt and looked like an entire bucket of snow had been dumped unceremoniously on Severus’ head. There were shrieks as people leapt to their feet shaking off several inches of fresh powder. The snow had abruptly ceased falling and the whole hall looked like a very lumpy strangely frosted cake. Pandemonium ensued—the teachers seemed rather unconcerned. Many students were exclaiming in outrage, while just as many were clearly delighted, scooping up handfuls of snow and beginning a wild snowball fight. This caused plenty of students to duck under the house tables taking cover. Severus was in this category, finding himself in the company of several other Slytherins. Shouts of laughter rang through the hall, the food of the feast sat forgotten under a snow blanket. Severus peeked out through the gap between bench and table to see Regulus flinging snowballs with an uncharacteristically wide smile on his face.After perhaps five or ten minutes of madness, Professor Dumbledore waved his wand and the snow vanished. A loud volley of protests went up from the student body. But Dumbledore sent some silver firecrackers out of the tip of his wand and silence fell. Professor McGonagall, who was straightening her glasses and fighting to contain a smile, stood. “James Potter, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew, and Remus Lupin,” her voice rang through the hall. “Ten points to Gryffindor for exceptional spell work, and a week’s worth of detentions for disturbing the peace.” Then a smile split her face and she returned to her seat. Severus wasn’t sure if the feast was over, but many people resumed their dining—the food was miraculously undisturbed. However, the smell which soon filled the chamber indicated wet robes and dripping hair were in high supply. “Ugh,” said Bellatrix. “It smells like a wet dog. I hate dogs.”The moist and stuffy feeling of the hall did force many people from the feast, but almost everyone who left the hall was laughing and recounting the surprise. “How the four of them conjured all that snow . . .” Severus heard a Ravenclaw telling his companion as he and Regulus made their way out of the hall. “That had to be really advanced spellwork for second years.”“Conjuring is N.E.W.T. level spellwork, and that was a lot of snow!”“It was brilliant!”Severus rolled his eyes dramatically at Regulus, who gave a small shrug back. Regulus had clearly enjoyed the spectacle. “Did you see any of them casting? How do the Professors even know it was Potter and his entourage?” Severus asked as they left the rest of the school behind, descending into the dungeons. “I didn’t see them, I was looking at the ghosts. But the teachers have a higher vantage point, don’t they? The ghosts were probably meant to distract all of us so we wouldn’t notice them. That was some impressive magic.”Severus scoffed. “I wonder how long they had to work at it, a waste of time in my opinion.”“You think? People are going to be talking about that for years.”“I don’t want people talking about me for years.”“Ah, but you are not James Potter or my elder brother. They eat that stuff up.”This was perfectly true. Severus decided he would specifically not talk about the event anymore in silent protest to such grandiose behavior. For the Samhain celebration, they met Bellatrix and crew in the common room at ten, wrapped in many layers against the cold night air. Severus had a chunky hat with earflaps pulled low over his head. Regulus was wearing a green cashmere scarf and had his cloak buttoned to his chin. Severus knew their looks were comically juxtaposed. Regulus looked every bit a prince while Severus slouched next to him. Their group was large again, a few more new faces were present. It had to be at least fifteen people who moved as one out onto the grounds. This time they didn’t go into the forest, much to Severus’ relief. Bellatrix opened their circle—as she had on Mabon—and then invited them one by one to perform a rite. As they took turns, Dark magic swept in and around the circle.Severus and Regulus both declined a rite. This time, however, Severus was more attune to the general feel of Dark magic wrapping around and through the space. It felt good; it was intriguing. Yes, a quiet voice in the back of his mind whispered. I want to know you. Severus shivered. Was the Dark known to speak on its own accord? As the circle drew to a close, Severus still felt a buzz of energy in his veins. “Regulus, do you have any books I can borrow about Dark magic?” he whispered as they walked back up to the castle. He could see Regulus smirk out of the corner of his eye. “Name the subject.”“A general overview,” Severus said. “I haven’t read more than what our textbooks provide.” “I have the perfect book for you, but it’s not here. I think I read it when I was about seven. I can bring it from home after the winter hols.”Severus was slightly disappointed his curiosity would have to wait, but he thanked Regulus all the same. When they returned to the common room, they found a house party in full swing. At least half of Slytherin house had gone out to celebrate Samhain, but it seemed most had returned before their group. Severus hadn’t attended any parties last year, instead cloistering himself in his four poster. To encounter one in full swing was rather jarring. The common room was extremely dark. The green light which typically filtered in through the lake was replicated with a strip of green lighting wrapping around the entire room, but this was the only light source. There was instrumental music thrumming—Severus felt the deep bass vibrate in his chest and bones. The room was crowded with bodies, people swaying with drinks clutched in their hands or standing in small groups shouting over the loud music. Severus was ready to make a beeline for his dorm, but Regulus grabbed his arm and fixed him with a pleading face. Severus nodded once, then Bellatrix stood before them two drinks clutched in her hands. Narcissa appeared out of the dark and put her lips to Bellatrix’s ear, but Bellatrix elbowed Narcissa away.“Care to indulge?” she shouted. Severus didn’t see how they could refuse. So he reached out and took a glass, bringing it to his lips. The contents were almost sickeningly sweet. And had a rather unpleasant taste under all the sweetness. Regulus eyed his glass warily. “Drink up!” said Bellatrix, then maneuvered away. “You don’t think she’s tampered with it,” he said in Severus’ ear. “I don’t know. It tastes nasty enough.” Severus took another sip. “Do people really enjoy drinking this?”Regulus had also taken a sip and pulled a face. But he suddenly took several large gulps. Severus widened his eyes in surprise. “I’ve always wondered what being drunk would feel like,” Regulus said, completely draining his glass. “Mum’s never let us have any wine at home.”Severus decided he would try to match Regulus’ enthusiasm for the disgusting drink and took a large swallow, which he promptly spewed out in front of him. “Watch it!” Regulus leapt away from him, but was confined by the masses of bodies surrounding them. Severus coughed and passed his glass to Regulus, who downed its contents as well. The music was so loud, and it was so dark, Severus felt rather disconnected from his usual senses. He watched as Regulus managed to get his hands on yet another glass of foul liquid, and when that glass was empty, he sidled up to Severus and said in his ear, “I feel all warm and fuzzy.” Severus pursed his lips in response. The music was starting to give him a headache. He thought he might still be vibrating from it into the next day. Regulus leaned right into Severus and tipped his head onto Severus’ shoulder. Severus felt him start to sway a bit and instinctively reached out to steady him. With his arm wrapped around Regulus’ back he could swear Regulus was humming contentedly, but it was just as likely the vibration of the music. Then Regulus did actually slump to the side. Severus caught him securely in both arms. He felt Regulus spasming against him. “Fuck!” Severus said to no one. He dragged Regulus as close to the wall as he could and gently lowered him to the ground, kneeling over him. Regulus spasmed and twitched for an eternity. But he finally stilled. It was so dark near the floor that Severus could barely see him blink open his eyes. It wasn’t more than a second before Regulus rolled onto his side and promptly vomited. “¡Hoista!” Severus leapt back ramming into someone’s legs in the process.“Oi! Watch it!” a voice yelled at him. “Sorry, sorry,” Severus said, but he wasn’t sure the person had heard him. Regulus pushed up to a seat, and what little Severus could see of his face didn’t look good. “Come on.” Severus hoisted Regulus up under the armpits and he got Regulus’ arm around his shoulders. It was a cumbersome way to move, supporting half of Regulus’ weight; not that Regulus weighed much, but neither did he. He pushed through the crowd and finally breathed fresher air in the corridor leading to their dormitories. But Severus didn’t know where to take Regulus. Should he drop him in his bed and leave him to figure himself out. That felt a bit irresponsible. Should he bring him into his room and risk his dormmates witnessing Regulus’ sick state? Plus if Regulus was in his bed, where was he supposed to sleep?Severus thought fast and decided the first year boy’s room was the safer option. He didn’t knock on the door, but slowly creaked it open and shuffled in. As he closed the door the noise of the party in the common room vanished completely. One of the other first years, the boy Severus had spoken to on one other occasion, was sitting in bed reading by wandlight. All the other bed curtains were drawn. The boy looked up and pulled a face seeing who had just entered the room.“Where were you?” he asked. “There’s a party in the common room, didn’t you know?”“They kicked all the third years and below out at eleven.” He looked back at his book.“Must have been before we got back.” Regulus really was becoming very heavy, but for some reason Severus found himself rooted to the spot.“Back, where were you?”Severus wasn’t sure if the Samhain celebration was supposed to be kept quiet, but he couldn’t think of a cover up so he was honest. “We were out on the grounds for Samhain.”The other boy’s eyebrows shot up. “Really? I’m really interested in learning more about the cyclical festivals, do you think —”But he cut off as Severus gave a grunt and heaved Regulus more upright. The other boy jumped out of bed and hurried over. “Here, I’ll help you.”They maneuvered Regulus to his bed, took off his shoes and some of his outer clothes, before tucking him under his covers. “Is he okay?” the boy asked, a look of concern on his face. “Yeah, just got a bit drunk.” Regulus groaned on cue and threw his head over the edge of his bed to vomit again onto the stone floor. “Cripes!” Both boys leapt back. “Ugh, now we have to clean that up.” The first year hustled off to the bathroom and returned with a towel. “No wonder the Prefects wouldn’t let us have any of that drink. Seems like it was strong,” he mumbled as he wiped up the vomit then dumped the towel into a laundry bin. Severus had bent down close to Regulus and whispered, “Regulus?” Regulus moaned softly. It was clear this was not the moment for stern talkings-to. So Severus withdrew and pulled the hanging closed around Regulus’ pallid face. He turned to find himself face to face with the other boy. “I’m Barty.” The boy, Barty, held out his hand. Severus shook it. “Severus.”“I’ll keep an eye on him.” Barty nodded toward Regulus’ bed. “Thanks.” Severus headed toward the door. “Snape”—Severus turned back around—“you seem to be in with the right crowd. I’d love an in, if you catch my drift.”Severus had to think for a moment about what Barty was implying, his head still a bit foggy from the thrumming bass. Then it clicked into place, Barty wanted to be invited to spend time with him and Regulus. Severus wasn’t sure what to say. “Right. Um, see you around.” And he fled the room.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Chapter VIII
Whispers of War
Severus hadn’t put much thought into the fact that Bellatrix and her followers were viewed as a desirable crowd by other Slytherins. Slytherins, of course, would be the only ones to think in such a way. But Barty’s insistence he was in with the ‘right’ people was rather surprising. Severus loathed Bellatrix. He didn’t see why anyone would want to get closer with her. At breakfast with Regulus, Severus took a risk by casting the Muffliato spell. No one around them seemed to react in any way, a very good sign. Still, he leaned close to the other boy and whispered, “Are you feeling okay this morning?”“No,” Regulus said. “My head is killing me.” His usually unfrazzled expression was showing signs of being forced. Severus made him a cup of tea, which Regulus sipped. “Look, why did you have to go and drink so much of that awful drink?”Regulus shrugged, and mumbled something inaudible into his teacup. “For what it’s worth, you learned a valuable lesson. Alcohol clearly interrupts your ability to Occlude. You had an episode right there at the party. Thankfully no one saw, but you need to be more careful.”Regulus nodded, eyes still downcast. “Yeah, I know. It was stupid of me. I’m not usually so careless. I don’t know what came over me.”“Maybe it was the circle; I was feeling weird after it myself. Though it certainly didn’t prompt me to suffer that disgusting concoction. What even was that?”“Something the older students whipped up no doubt.”“And heavily spiked.”“Whatever. Look, it won’t happen again, trust me.”“Good. I also met your dormmate, Barty. He wants to hang out with us. I wasn’t sure how you feel about him . . .”Regulus massaged his temples. “Barty’s okay, a bit reclusive. It would mean we’d need to watch what we talk about in front of him . . . But another ally, I don’t think it’s a bad thing.”Severus thought Regulus’ comment had some merit. He too saw the benefits of growing their social circle, strategically, of course.“Let’s invite him to study with us. I wouldn’t be surprised if we start to draw more people in, you’re a Black after all—a magnet for attention.”“I have a reputation which precedes me and is not wholly accurate,” Regulus said. Severus shrugged. “They don’t need to know that. Use it to your advantage.”Regulus slipped into a contemplative silence and Severus ate his porridge while thinking about all he had on his mind. He hadn’t worked on spell invention in over a week. He was itching to get his hands on Dark magic reading material. He wanted Lily to start practicing wielding with a different spell, and he also had concerns about her finding out he had attended another cyclical festival. The editorial from the Daily Prophet came back to him. Severus knew there was nothing inherently wrong with muggle-born witches and wizards, his best friend was one. But he thought Pollux Black had made some interesting points. There was definitely more information to discover. That week, Professor Saaverda taught them a new jinx in Defense Against the Dark Arts. It was called the knockback jinx, with the incantation of Flipendo. Severus thought it would have been very convenient for him to have known this jinx during his little confrontation with Potter and Black a few weeks back, but there would likely be more opportunities for using it in the future. The spell pushed a person or object back with forceful pressure on their chest. It wasn’t meant to be harmful, however Professor Saaverda had lectured them on the importance of taking their environment into account. “If you were, say, in a small space with stone walls, like a castle corridor, forcing someone back into a wall could cause severe damage to their person. Likewise, if you sent someone back near a body of water and the person couldn’t swim, you might have an unintentional death on your hands,” she told them. Many people looked around at each other in alarm. Severus knew magic was inherently dangerous. They had been drilled on safety practices last year, but he hadn’t really thought how easily he could do serious harm to someone with a simple spell. His mother’s words regarding her refusal to lift a wand against his abusive father came flooding back to him. It isn’t fair to them. For the first time ever, Severus saw the truth of her words. And he looked at the wand in his hand with a new sense of reverence. It was a powerful weapon, and it was his to wield. The school was full of them, as a matter of fact. He had a responsibility to learn not only to cast mindfully, but to take the surrounding environment into account. Unless of course he wanted to cause as much damage as humanly possible; but being cruel had never been one of Severus’ motives. He loved they were learning so much defensive spellwork with the intent to de-escalate. It was what his own instinct guided him to do. But he also didn’t want to be an easy target. Severus resolved to work twice as hard at Defense from then on. He would think not only about the spell itself, but the way in which the spell could be used, intentionally and unintentionally. It was like Lily’s approach to Potions, he thought. He must be thorough. When Severus and Regulus met up with Lily the following Thursday in the Room of Requirement, Lily was bouncing with excitement. “My club has its first meeting next week and the Gryffindor Slytherin quidditch match is this Saturday! I’m so excited.”“Quidditch, I don’t see what the fuss is all about, unless . . .” Severus eyed Lily suspiciously. “You aren’t just keen on seeing Potter play this year are you?”“Pish-posh, I loved quidditch last year. It has nothing to do with Potter, if anything that part is detracting. You know he hasn’t stopped gabbing to anything with ears about quidditch for weeks.”“I’m excited too,” said Regulus. “I love quidditch. Flying lessons have been so fun. I’m going to ask for a broomstick for Christ—, I mean for Yule.”“Not you, too,” Severus said. “Come on, Sev, jump on the bandwagon! Quidditch is great. It’s fast, it’s furious, it’s highly entertaining,” Lily said. “It turns perfectly reasonable people into idiots, and it turns idiots into bigger idiots.”“Nice one.” Regulus poked him in the arm. “Be sure to use that one on my brother next time you see him.”“I’m not thinking my best right now! Look, I want Lily to try a new spell. I think she should try the Flipendo spell we learned in Defense last week.”Lily’s eyes widened. “But that’s a more advanced spell. I’m still practicing doing it with my wand.”“You need to stop thinking about your wandwork defining your wielding capacity. I’ve thought for a long time the wand is actually hindering you. Just try. What will it hurt?”Regulus gave Lily a small smirk. And Lily threw up her arms in exasperation. “Fine. But you can be on the receiving end, Mister Smartypants.” She jabbed her finger into Severus’ chest. “Challenge accepted.”Severus had to laugh at what the room supplied them in an instant because as much as Lily might deny her capability of channeling the spell, the room covered an entire wall and half the floor in soft, plush material. Severus secretly felt this was a good sign. He stood just in front of the soft flooring, and Lily stood several paces away, facing him. They stared at each other, and he gave her a cheeky little grin. She narrowed her eyes at him, then out of nowhere he soared back into the air and slammed into the mercifully soft wall. “Holy hornets!” Lily squealed, rushing forward to check on him. Severus sat up, catching his breath. “Woah,” said Regulus.“I told you, I told you!” Severus said. Lily looked down at her hands as if in confusion, then she grabbed her wand.“Stand there again,” she instructed. “No.” Severus replied.“I will,” Regulus volunteered. And he got into position.Lily stepped back, pointed her wand at Regulus and said, “Flipendo!”Regulus toppled over backwards, but it was hardly a forceful nudge. Lily stuck her wand into her hair and said, “Again.”Regulus clambered to his feet and Lily focused on him, in an instant he flew through the air and slammed into the wall, crumpling like Severus had done. “See! I told you the wand is hindering you.”Lily looked thoughtful. “Hmm, I just didn’t expect . . . wow.”“Potions has always been your best subject because the magic doesn’t require a wand, or at least not much,” said Severus. “You’re really good at Potions?” said Regulus, looking around at Lily with interest. “I’m really good as well, in fact . . .” he paused but didn’t continue. “In fact what?” prompted Severus.Regulus shook his head. “Nothing. But it is a funny coincidence.”“Regulus, it’s your turn,” Lily said. “After that, I’m going to have to shoot fire out of my eyeballs or something.”“Not so! I do feel nervous about you trying to conjure a larger fire. Can you think of a different spell? Try something new.”“You weren’t so confident a few minutes ago,” Severus said. Lily stuck her tongue out at him. Regulus went still. He was only in his third month of school, he probably only knew a handful of spells. “I can’t think of anything except fire conjuring, you know, Incendio.”Lily sighed heavily. “I don’t know. How are we supposed to contain a fire if it gets out of control?”“Wait,” said Severus, “fire needs something to burn right? So if the room can get rid of anything that can burn, Regulus should be able to practice and the fire won’t actually catch.”Regulus nodded. “In the jar it ignites for a moment then vanishes.”“Okay, but if this goes awry, I’m blaming both of you.”So Lily, who understood the room best, mentally requested a space safe for conjuring fire, and the room cleared of all contents. Lily and Severus stood by the door, just in case. Regulus stood in the center of the room. He was facing away from them, so as not to send fire their direction. Severus thought Regulus looked rather small, the lone figure in the stone chamber. He watched as Regulus held his hands out in front of himself, like he was about to push someone over. The seconds stretched into at least a minute or two, but nothing happened. Regulus let out a loud sigh. “I can’t do it.”“You need more practice. You can conjure the tiny flame, this is bigger magic.” “Is there something else?” asked Lily, always so well tuned to the moods of others. Regulus turned to look at them. “I’m always a bit afraid to let go, knowing it can cause an . . . an episode. I can feel myself hesitating.”“Oh, you’re safe here.” Lily moved to stand next to him and placed her hand on the center of his back. “We have you.” She waved Severus over. “Um, yes, we won’t let you fall,” said Severus, also placing a hand on Regulus’ back. Regulus rolled his neck, then stilled again. Severus could hear him breathing slowly. Regulus held out a hand and suddenly a thin stream of fire shot forward from his palm. He gasped and the fire disappeared. “See,” Severus began. But Lily immediately shushed him. Regulus extended both his hands and soon had two streams of fire aimed at the stone wall. He was surprisingly reserved, smiling between them. They smiled back. And then Regulus promptly collapsed. Severus and Lily were there to catch him. They lowered him gently to the ground and stepped back, waiting for the episode to pass. When Regulus regained consciousness, he was beaming. “Wow, I didn’t expect to be able to do it, I think Severus has a point about the wands being more of a hindrance than a help.”“I wonder . . .” Lily said, “I wonder when wizards started using wands. It had to have been a long time ago. It’s just interesting isn’t it? It seems like magic that is channeled directly through the body is more intense than when it’s channeled through a wand.”The two boys shrugged. Severus was far less interested in wand history than he was in current affairs. Lily helped Regulus stand then poked him in the side. “So fire might not have shot out of your eyeballs but . . .”Regulus’ face reddened. “The episodes are certainly a hindrance. I mean, forget practicing in public.”“Not that you were going to do that though.”“No, I suppose you’re right. But practically speaking —”Severus interrupted. “Practically speaking, this is all fun parlor tricks. I’ve always thought it would be foolish to overlook it, knowing what I did about Lily from before. But yeah, neither of you can waltz around the school doing wandless magic for a variety of reasons.”“I think it’s important,” Lily said. “You never know when it might come in handy. I did get Potter with it last year after all.”“But you both need to be careful. With the amplified effects of working wandlessly, you could do some very unintentional damage.”“Only if we are using magic on or against others, if it’s stuff for ourselves, what’s the real danger there?” Regulus asked. Severus looked at him sternly. “Don’t go lighting your bed on fire trying to ignite a candle or something.”“Message received.”The day of the first quidditch match of the season arrived. The sun shone weakly through a shifting layer of white clouds. Lily had lamented the fact that the three of them couldn’t sit together, but Severus was relieved. He didn’t want to be in Lily’s vicinity; he didn’t think her Gryffindor energy would serve his current mood. Instead, Severus was in the stands—very reluctantly, mind—sandwiched between Regulus and Barty. Several other first and second years sat around them. After extending an invitation to Barty, second years Piers Pine and Lester McCain had both less than subtly hinted they would also like to join the group. As did first year Nye Perkin. Severus knew it was all because of Regulus, he was a Black. And his family was an ancient and esteemed wizarding lineage, which granted them more than a little bit of prestige and power in the magical community. Severus wasn’t surprised his peers were finally sidling up to Regulus, now Bellatrix or her lackeys weren’t hoarding him. He had been thoroughly shocked when Piers, who Severus had actually used Langlock on the previous year, had told him how cool he thought it was Severus invented the spell.“I heard it from a fourth year,” he said excitedly. Severus just gazed at him impassively. He had still not shared the countercurse to Langlock with anyone. It had been less annoying than he’d imagined for a few Slytherins to seek him out for the countercurse. And the spell did wear off eventually, which he figured was how the rest of the school was dealing with it. “So, did you invent it then?” said Piers after Severus failed to acknowledge his comments. “Yeah.” But Severus’ face must have been unfriendly enough that Piers hadn’t broached the subject again. “Welcome students of Hogwarts to the first quidditch match of the season!” A bright voice sounded over the crowd and enthusiastic cheers filled the air. “Not the Prewetts again,” said a voice behind Severus.“They are so biased.”“I never know which one to go after because they look identical!” another voice replied. “Just get ‘em both.”“Both teams have some fresh blood this year, let’s hope the new players are up to the challenge. Quidditch can get rather rough.” Prewett’s commentary rang through the stadium.Severus saw the teams lining up on the pitch, the Captains shook hands, and Madam Hooch’s whistle sounded. Four balls and fifteen broomsticks shot into the air to a roar from the stands. “That’s Bennett with the quaffle for Slytherin. Passes to Rosier, a new team member this year and in his third year. Rosier hit with a bludger from McKinnon. Drops the quaffle, caught by Potter, also a new player this year for Gryffindor. Potter passes to Canfield, dodges a bludger, fast flying Canfield!”Severus sighed, one reason he didn’t enjoy watching quidditch was it moved so fast he could hardly keep up. He had to admit, the Prewetts ability to commentate was nearly as impressive as the player’s flying abilities. Potter flew toward the goal hoops, regained possession of the quaffle, and scored. The red and gold colored fans went wild. “Ten nill to Gryffindor!”Potter pumped his fist in the air. Severus rolled his eyes—it was just a bloody goal. Play resumed and Slytherin wasn’t a match for Gryffindor’s flying capacities. The Gryffindor keeper saved the first three shots on goal from Slytherin. While the Gryffindor chasers scored four more times.Both team’s seekers, BLACK and FORTESCUE printed across the backs of their respective tops, were flying around the pitch, searching for the snitch. Severus found it easier to focus on the seekers, who rarely saw action, and was following Narcissa’s progress when he heard a shout of outrage from the Gryffindor fans. “A penalty to Gryffindor!” Prewett said. Surprisingly, it was Potter who took the penalty shot and scored. Severus’ companions were grumbling about Potter’s opening performance as a second year, but unfortunately they didn’t have much to criticize. Instead they had to critique his person. “I’m surprised he can even see the quaffle with eyesight like his,” said Lester. “I can’t believe his broom can get any height with that huge head,” replied Piers. “Potter’s a tool,” Severus said. Regulus was completely disengaged from the conversation, his eyes glued to the pitch and the players swooping around. Gryffindor scored four more goals, and Slytherin finally snuck a goal past the Gryffindor keeper Longbottom. “What kind of a name is ‘Longbottom’?” Barty said with a snort. “The score stands at one hundred to ten in Gryffindor’s favor, a few more goals and Slytherin’s odds aren’t looking good,” Prewett called. “Come on, Narcissa,” Regulus said. “Potter with the quaffle, what a move! Passes to Perks, nice hit Meadowes. GRYFFINDOR SCORES!”Against his better judgment, Severus scanned the Gryffindor stands for Lily. He located her with her fellow second years, all lined up along the barrier jumping up and down in excitement. Seeing Lily enjoy herself so thoroughly with other people was harder than stomaching the current score of the match. But the game resumed, Slytherin taking possession of the quaffle and getting off another shot which was saved by Longbottom. It really was an unfortunate name. “It looks like Black has seen the snitch,” said Prewett. Severus saw Narcissa, just a green blur, streaking through the air, with a red blur in close pursuit. Narcissa shot up, then turned sharply to the left. A bludger flew past her and collided with the Gryffindor seeker, who went spinning off, but it didn’t matter because Narcissa raised her clenched fist into the air indicating she’d caught the snitch. “Slytherin takes the match, one hundred and sixty to one hundred and twenty,” Prewett said. He didn't sound pleased. “Great flying by the Gryffindor chasers. Bad luck, Fortescue.”Fortescue—who had landed and dismounted her broom—was limping slightly. Severus watched Potter land next to her, hurrying to help support her as they made their way to the locker rooms. Potter didn’t look too upset over the outcome of the match, he was still smiling and laughing with Fortescue. The Slytherins were all gathered around Narcissa, high fiving. Severus thought they had gotten very lucky as the Gryffindor chasers were clearly superior. But a win was a win. And if he was lucky, maybe he wouldn’t have to attend another quidditch match this year. The narrow victory didn’t stop the Slytherins from throwing another party in the common room that evening. This time, Severus experienced what the rest of the younger students had on Halloween. Much to the first, second, and third years excitement, someone had gotten their hands on butterbeer for the young attendees. The lights were less dim and the volume of the music more manageable. Severus enjoyed his butterbeer, it was far more palatable than the nasty concoction Bellatrix had given them. Regulus, Barty, and several other boys stood around with Severus, drinking their butterbeers and talking about the match. Severus kept quiet. It was with relief that Narcissa came over and ushered them out of the common room. “Off with you,” she said. “The real party is about to start.”Some people grumbled. “Severus, you’re welcome to come to our room, Piers and Lester too,” said Barty. Severus internally groaned, but Lester and Piers had heard the invitation and accepted immediately, so he followed them into the room. The rest of the first year boys arrived and pillows were retrieved so everyone had a comfy place to sit on the floor, leaning back against various beds. Two first year boys, who looked like they could have been cousins, pulled out a large stash of sweets and began passing them around the room. “Thanks, Harvey,” Barty said to the thick boy with short cropped brown hair. His friend, who had an identical build but longer, more styled hair, tossed a chocolate frog to Severus who nodded in thanks.“You lads want to hear something crazy?” Nye Perkyn asked. He was taller, with auburn hair and a tiny upturned nose. There was a general murmur of consent around the unwrapping and chewing of sweets. “You all know about the Dark Lord ? My dad’s got a friend who is really excited about him. He came over just before I started at Hogwarts and was telling dad about some of the meetings he’s been to where the Dark Lord actually spoke. I wasn’t supposed to be listening, but you know”—Nye gave a little shrug—“they weren’t really trying to keep me away.“Anyway, the guy said the Dark Lord wants wizards to come out of hiding, and he wants to restrict magic used by muggle-borns. The Dark Lord has recruited support from giants who will fight for him if a war ever begins. It sounds like the chances of actual fighting breaking out is certain, only a matter of time. And it’s important to make sure you are on the right side of things.” Nye looked around the group with wide eyes. “He has giants?” asked Lester. Nye nodded. “And plenty of wizards of course, I think dad’s friend was hoping he’d join up as well. Dad didn’t commit to anything though.”“How can the Dark Lord declare war on the wizarding world and keep everything hidden from the muggles? Wouldn’t they notice if people were dueling all over the place?” Harvey asked. “Don’t know, I don’t think wizard wars look the same as muggle wars. For one, there aren’t enough wizards to build huge armies that go head to head,” said Nye. “How do you know about muggle wars?” asked Regulus. Nye looked a bit shifty, then he said, “My grandad’s a muggle, he’s really into muggle history, especially wars. Have you ever heard of the World Wars? Oh man, don’t bring them up with grandpappy unless you want your pants bored off.”“So you’re not a pureblood?” Barty said. “Um, well, my parents are both magical, and three of my grandparents are. I mean how much does one grandparent matter?”Severus pursed his lips, he didn’t like the direction the conversation was heading. He wasn’t a pureblood, and wasn’t in the mood to broadcast the fact. It seemed like he wasn’t the only one with this train of thought however, because Regulus spoke up, “Are you saying the entire muggle world has gone to war with each other?”Nye shook his head. “No, it’s just some countries, but it was enough that the wars have been named World War one and World War two. They were pretty gruesome.”“But wizards have big wars too. My gran was a supporter of Grindelwald. I haven’t seen her in a few years, I wonder what she knows about the Dark Lord,” said Piers. “Probably that he’s got the right idea of things, if she has a brain between her ears,” Barty replied. Piers gave him a withering look. For some reason, Regulus wanted to hear even more about the muggle wars. “What do muggles duel with?”Nye laughed. “They don’t duel. Well, some do but not in real battles. They have special stuff they use to kill each other. Guns, bombs, gas, I don’t know the details. I mean a good shield charm can protect a wizard against most of it. Compared with magic, their weapons don’t really seem that powerful. But they are plenty effective against other muggles.”“But what weapons do wizards have, I mean to use against each other?” asked Lester. The boys looked around at each other in curiosity.“I guess that would be what the giants are for, right?”“Wands,” Severus said in annoyance. “Obviously.”“And Dark magic,” Regulus said. “Not everyone uses the Dark Arts, but they can be extremely powerful and deadly.”Severus felt a little thrill race through his body at the mention of Dark magic. He recognized it not as fear, but as wonder. “If the Dark Lord is a highly accomplished Dark wizard and he recruits enough followers, with giants on his side, he’ll be very hard to defeat,” Harvey said. “Who even knows if those rumors are true,” said Lester.“There are other Dark creatures he could try to get on his side as well,” said Ryan. “You know werewolves, goblins, dementors, vampires, zombies.”“Zombies don’t live in Europe,” said Lester. “I’ve read our whole Defense textbook and zombies only live in America.”“Fine, no zombies then, but still. Plenty of other scary stuff without them. Have any of you heard of infiri?” Ryan asked. Then without waiting for a reply, he continued in a hushed tone. “Infiri are dead bodies that have been brought back to life through Dark magic. Then they attack and eat you alive.”Severus felt a shiver of fear run through his body. “They don’t eat you, you’re thinking of zombies again,” said Regulus. “Bellatrix told me about infiri when I was six. Trust me, if they eat you she would have majorly played up that angle. Gave me nightmares for a month as it was.”“Let’s talk about something else,” Nye suggested. Discussion returned to less creepy topics, though Severus was only half listening. He was thinking about the rising reputation of the Dark Lord who wanted to squash the muggles and muggle-borns. Lily would be in serious danger with him in power. What could he do to protect her? If there was going to be a magical war, he wanted to make sure he and his family were on the right side of it. But what if the right side didn’t care about protecting Lily? Severus would protect Lily, no matter what. And if he was on the winning side, no one could stop him.
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Chapter IX
In the Midst of Winter
The month of November passed in a blur of homework and extracurricular magic work. Severus finally had a breakthrough with the spell he had been slowly tinkering with, and at the beginning of December the Distinaverteo spell was born. It was a diversion charm, causing people who looked at someone under the influence of Distinaverteo to immediately remember something they needed to do or somewhere they needed to be. Thoroughly relieved he no longer had to test spells discreetly in the Slytherin common room, Severus shared the good news with Lily as they huddled in their hideout during the first weekend of December. “Let’s test it in the library this week,” Lily said. “Muffliato combined with Distinaverteo should make us all but invisible.” Severus was proud of his accomplishment. And whether it was that or merely the spirit of the season making him unusually generous, he decided to officially post the countercurse for Langlock in the Slytherin common room as his gift to his housemates. Lily and Regulus had both made progress in wielding. Severus had checked out a book of jinxes and hexes from the library, Fifty Nifty Hefty Spells. Regulus knew so few spells, and it wasn’t as if Severus and Lily knew many more. The book had a terrible name, but was actually quite rich in basic—if not somewhat pointless—magic. They also combed their textbooks for content they had not studied yet, but of course some of those spells proved to be too advanced for the time being. For some reason, both Lily and Regulus gravitated toward wielding what could only be defined as combative spells. Lily had no interest in trying to transfigure or charm things wandlessly. She was competent at the work with a wand and claimed it would be hard and confusing to have to use a wand in lessons if she was practicing something else on her own. This made sense to Severus. While they had learned a few more spells in D.A.D.A., Professor Saaverda had moved them on to study various Dark creatures. So defensive magic practice was temporarily on hold for most of the second years. Regulus simply had a knack for certain spells. After working on the fire conjuring spell, Regulus practiced a spell which coated objects in a thick layer of ice. Then he took interest in the Incarcerous spell, which conjured magical ropes to bind a person tightly. Severus and Lily took turns letting Regulus practice on them, but so far his ropes had simply flown at the target but not bound them.Lily was having better luck. After quickly mastering Petrificus Totalus wandlessly, she moved on to the smokescreen spell from first year. She also found a spell in Fifty Nifty Hefty Spells which conjured a blindfold onto the target. Regulus decided this would be his next spell to practice because it paired well with the binding spell. “The way you two talk, you act like you are going to be attacked any moment.” Lily shook her head at them.“To be fair, a pair of Gryffindor boys do tend to target us,” Regulus said. “There’s nothing wrong with learning defensive spells,” said Severus. “Especially ones which don’t actually do any damage.”“I suppose so.” Lily shrugged at them. “I can’t believe how much progress we’ve made in only a few months. I mean, I expected this to be much harder than it is.”But Severus gave her a heavy dose of reality. “The thing is, it’s one thing to practice a spell in a controlled environment, but it doesn’t mean you’d be able to do it impulsively in a high stress situation.”“True . . .”Watching her and Regulus practice and master wandless spells was very neat, and Severus had become an impeccable caster of the Finite Incantatem spell in the meantime. And the problem of Regulus’ episodes persisted. It wasn’t every time he channeled that it happened, but it was after the most successful attempts, which felt counter productive. They had taken to requesting the floor of the Room of Requirement to be made of a soft surface, so Regulus could collapse and remain unscathed as he jerked on the floor. He’d come back to himself, dust off his robes and get right back to work. Sometimes he would have five or more episodes in a session. He always seemed exhausted after these nights. The day Lily and Severus decided to brave the library—armed with Severus’ spells—was the same day he inadvertently came upon Black, Potter, and Lupin near the hospital ward. Severus was walking back to the Slytherin common room after two hours studying Charms and Transfiguration with Lily in the library. The diversion and distraction spells had worked perfectly; in their already secluded corner, Severus was certain no one had noticed them at all. Having not studied with Lily since last term, he had been reminded Lily was a bit of a nuisance where homework and revision were concerned. She wanted all her work read by him and wanted to check his essay for mistakes. Severus wrinkled his nose. It wasn’t a practice he was used to and he felt both annoyed to have to act as editor, and a bit self-conscious of letting her critique his work. His marks were good without any of the excessive editing. Lily also had a habit of muttering to herself under her breath as she read. “The formula for increasing the quantity of an object is the rough volume of the object raised to the second power which can be found by the relative weight of the object’s source materials multiplied by the height, length, and width of said object. Wait, that doesn’t seem right.”“Lily, please be quiet,” Severus had said. “I can’t read my Charms book.”Lily had thrown him a dirty look but refrained from muttering aloud as she continued to read her Transfiguration notes. As he passed the entrance to the hospital wing, Severus heard raised voices—voices he recognized. “I’m not going to Pomfrey!” Potter said. “Mate, I don’t know how you’re going to manage with boils like that on your —”“Let go of me, you can’t make me!”“I don’t know, Lupin, you think he can get away from both of us?”“Not in his current state.”Severus slipped down the corridor after the arguers. As he snuck closer he peeked around a corner to see Potter, arms held tightly by Black on one side and Lupin on the other, kicking as they maneuvered him with difficulty toward the hospital ward. “I don’t understand what the problem with getting help is,” grunted Black. “Are you serious? I don’t want to tell her I was messing about with —”“Yes, I am Sirius! And why were you messing about with that stuff anyway, and in a rather suspicious location.”“It was a setup! I mentioned something to Bertha Jorkins in Astronomy about the Ravenclaw keeper’s improvement from last year—you know cause I went to the Hufflepuff Ravenclaw match. And she seemed to think I was messing with her. Next thing I knew, Sullivan tracked me down and gave me a bottle of potion which he said improved chafing, the secret to why he was flying better.”“Are you kidding me? Why didn’t you tell us about this when it happened?”“I forgot about it okay, it was the day that Hufflepuff Harper, um, remember . . .”“You mean when she asked to sit with us at lunch and showered you with a disgusting amount of flattery? I was nearly sick in my chicken soup,” said Black.“I’ve never seen someone flutter their eyelashes as much as her, I thought she had something in her eye,” Remus said.“Yes, anyway, I got a bit distracted and forgot to mention it. And then yesterday I found the bottle, and well . . .”“You smeared it all over your arse?”“I had chafing okay! You try flying for two hours in the rain we had yesterday. Wet trousers and broomsticks should not mix.”Severus was smirking and trying to hold back laughter. James Bloody Potter, world’s biggest idiot. And now Severus even had some dirt on him. He was about to turn back when he heard Madam Pomfrey’s voice.“Mister Lupin, I wasn’t expecting you today.”“No ma’am. It’s not me, it’s James. He’s got some rather unsightly boils —” said Lupin, stifling a snicker. “Come in, Potter, come in. Now where are these boils?”“Well, that’s the thing.” It was Black speaking this time. “James here —” And Severus heard someone give a little yelp of pain. “James here is feeling rather embarrassed about the location of said boils. So much so we had to drag him down here against his will.”“Potter, I assure you, no matter where your boils are, it’s nothing I haven’t seen before. Now stop fussing, unless you want to spend the week unable to sit down.”“How did you know?” Potter said. “Because you are a twelve year old boy and twelve year old boys tend to end up with strange ailments in certain body regions. I’ve been a healer at this school for over fifteen years, Potter, nothing surprises me anymore.”“We’ll just leave you to it then,” said Lupin. And Severus realized not a moment too soon, that Black and Lupin were going to be retracing their steps back down the corridor. Severus retreated as quietly as he could. Then he stopped. Madam Pomfrey had seemed surprised to see Lupin and had said she wasn’t expecting him, which meant although his appearance today was unannounced, she was anticipating a time when he would return. This was extremely odd. Why would Lupin know ahead of time he was going to be ill? Severus was so caught up in this melancholy he didn’t realize Black and Lupin had caught sight of him until he heard Black say, “Snivellus.”It was in a quiet enough voice, Severus might have simply hurried away pretending he hadn’t heard. But alas, he found himself turning and meeting the narrowed eyes of Regulus’ older brother. Lupin looked wary. “Hello, Snivellus, what brings you down this corridor? I seem to remember crossing paths with you in this general area before.”“Feeling okay there, Lupin?” Severus said.“Yeah, I suppose.” Lupin gave him a confused expression. “Is it common to have standing appointments with our healer?” Severus asked. “What are you talking about?”“Yes, Snivellus,” Black said. “Please explain what you’re referring to.”“Madam Pomfrey seems to be expecting a visit from you.” “You sneaky little snake,” said Black, stepping toward Severus and putting his hand into his pocket. Severus, glancing between the two of them, saw Lupin’s face had paled considerably. His normally tan skin had a rather sickly pallor to it with the freckles sprinkled across his nose and cheeks contrasting dramatically with his thin scars. “Don’t you have other things to do than slither around the school, eavesdropping?” Black drew his wand and held it at his side. Lupin grabbed his arm as if to restrain him. Severus’ own wand was already in his hand. His eyes didn’t leave Black. “I don’t need to sneak up on you to hear you, Black. You Gryffindors are so boisterous, I’m surprised half the school didn’t hear. No subtly at all.”“Severus, just go,” pleaded Lupin, his knuckles white on Black’s arm. Severus gave them a calculating look, then shrugged and turned to leave. “Langlock!” shouted Black. Severus felt his tongue affix itself to the room of his mouth. In a fit of rage he whirled—wand quite forgotten—and charged at Black. He crashed into the other boy, both of them tumbling to the floor. “Petrificus Totalus,” Lupin said, and Severus felt Black go stiff beneath him. It didn’t stop him from reigning his fists down on Black’s face, until two strong hands wrenched him back and slammed him face first into the stone wall. Severus’ face was turned and he could see Black still lying completely immobile on the floor. “Sirius might think it’s acceptable to curse someone when their back is turned, but I disagree. Still . . .” and Lupin pressed him into the wall a little harder. Severus felt like his upper arms were going to snap. “Mind your own bloody business.” Lupin flipped Severus around so they were face to face. Lupin was taller than he was, and in his anger his brown eyes seemed to nearly glow. He was snarling down at Severus who felt genuine fear radiate through his body. “Do you hear me, Snape? Sod. Off.”Severus tried to wiggle loose, but Lupin’s grip was vice-like. Suddenly Lupin let go and took a step back, taking several deep breaths and striding quickly away from both Severus and Black. Wasting no time, Severus made a break for it and didn’t look back. He heard Lupin cast the Finite spell, then Black shouting at the top of his voice, “Why the bloody hell did you jinx me?” But Severus was too far away to hear Lupin’s quiet reply. Having cast a nonverbal Langollire on himself as soon as he was near the dungeons, Severus let out a string of Spanish swear words. He was seething. Having had his own spell used on him by Sirius Black was not a pleasant experience. “Vipera Aspis.” Severus gave the wall the password for the Slytherin dormitory, and it opened to allow him entry. He saw Regulus sitting near one of the fires with Barty. “What’s up with you?” asked Regulus, as Severus threw himself down on the sofa next to him. “Your awful brother, that’s what.”“What did he do?”“He cast Langlock on me and he did it while my back was turned, the coward.”Regulus gave him an impassive look. “Did you get him back?”“I tried, but not really. He was with Lupin, so it was two on one.”“Sirius is a right twat. Just let it go.”“Is that what you would do?”“I wouldn’t have let him get away with it, no matter who was around.”Severus huffed, crossing his arms tightly over his chest.“We can get him back,” suggested Barty. Severus groaned. “I don’t want to declare war on Potter and posse.”“What if they didn’t know it was us?” Barty had a mischievous gleam in his eyes. Regulus shrugged. “Might be amusing. But I agree with Sev. I don’t want to antagonize hot-headed Gryffindors. It isn’t lucrative.”“No, but it’s fun.” Barty smiled and raised his eyebrows.Barty didn’t know that between the two of them, Severus and Regulus had more than enough extracurricular activities to be getting on with. Severus was grateful Regulus didn’t have quidditch practice to also juggle because the way Regulus talked, this would be the case as soon as he could try for the team. On the following Thursday, while practicing in the Room of Requirement, Regulus shared an idea with the other two. “After what happened to Sev —” but he quickly broke off, Severus was frantically shaking his head behind Lily’s back. “I mean, after our conversation the other day about the practicality of wandless magic, well the lack thereof . . .” Lily was giving Regulus a quizzical look and Severus also wished he would get to the point. He did not want Lily to find out about the confrontation between himself, Black and Lupin which had gone down near the hospital ward. “What I mean to say is, I want to practice some magic I can use, now.”“But what can we use openly without people finding out what we are doing?” Lily asked. “That’s the thing, options are very limited, but I do think there is a use. Being a Slytherin, it tends to draw unwanted negative attention.”“Attacks,” Severus clarified for Lily, who was looking confused. “Does it?” she asked. “I always thought Slytherins were the ones with nasty reputations for cursing fellow students.”“That’s because we give as good as we get,” Regulus informed her. Not that Regulus, as a first year, was dishing out many jinxes in the corridors. “Are you thinking of learning a few barely detectable jinxes which would be just enough to get someone off your tail?” asked Severus.“Exactly. Plus, Sev, you walk the corridors alone occasionally. I basically try to avoid it for Bellatrix’s sake, don’t want her freaking out on me. But it’s annoying to feel like I don’t have a choice.”“Gosh, I didn’t realize how tricky navigating corridors could be. Why didn’t you mention this before, Sev?”“It never came up.”“But do you really get attacked often in the corridors?” Lily asked. “Slytherins typically travel in pairs, wards off most people who don’t want to be outnumbered,” Severus said. It was true, but not practical all the time.“Another reason to learn a trick or two is so I don’t have to walk around the school with my wand out. It’s paramount to branding yourself as either a bully or a coward. I don’t want to be seen as either of those,” Regulus said. “Do you have anything in mind?” said Lily.“Trip jinx?” Regulus shrugged. “It wouldn’t point to obvious magical activity, as anyone can trip of their own accord. And no one would suspect me, or us if you want to learn it too, Lily, because we wouldn’t have our wands out. I already know one anyway.”“That’s sort of perfect,” Lily said. “The boys —” Severus made a sound between a scoff and a hack. Lily glared at him. “Fine, Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter had a bit of a stint last year where they set up trip traps. They thought it was funny. But this is much more practical and less malicious.”“Great!” Regulus looked excited, he pulled out a book titled Nearly Undetectable Hexes and Curses, and flipped it open. “Here we are, Pediter.”They went to work, Severus with his wand in hand. Practicing required a target, of course. So they all took turns in rotation. Severus offered to be the target for Regulus, to spare Lily, as Regulus tended to be strongest at Dark spells. “It’s barely Dark though,” Regulus protested. But by the end of their time, Regulus had succeeded in causing Severus to stumble, but not completely fall, while Lily just looked ashen faced and discouraged. Severus took this as confirmation the spell was at least a little Dark, besides the fact it came out of a book with much Darker spells. “I hate when this is so hard for me,” Lily said as they were getting ready to depart. “Harder than it is for Regulus,” she added after seeing the annoyed look on Severus’ face. He was a bit prickly about both of them complaining about the difficulty of wielding. It was an incredible talent he would love to possess, but didn’t. “You should look into Light affinities,” said Regulus. “Find some spells that give you an advantage.” He winked at her. “Oh, because I know about ten different people to approach about that topic.” “I know one,” Severus said. He caught Lily’s eye. She gazed at him in confusion but suddenly clapped her hands. “Of course, I’ll get in touch with Pandora, maybe her boyfriend will talk with me!”Severus left knowing Lily was in a more hopeful mood. As he and Regulus walked toward the dungeons, Regulus asked him about his holiday plans.“You still staying at Hogwarts?” he asked. Severus nodded. “Mamá thinks it’s best for me to stay away this year. Bit of a bummer, I’ll miss her Christmas cooking. The food here is terribly bland.”“Come to Yule, you’ll love it.”“I don’t think Dumbledore —” But Regulus was already waving him off. “Dumbledore won’t even know. Yule is the longest night of the year, it’s when Dark magic is at its peak, and because of that, there are special circumstances which arise with the Yule celebration. The first one being, anyone can get to it from anywhere, even if they are in a warded castle and are underage.”“Really?”Regulus nodded. “Of course! You also can’t use magic against others at the celebration, so it’s completely safe. And you can’t talk to anyone who wasn’t there about who you saw, so you are essentially protected against being snitched on.”“But won’t the other attendees see you?” “Sure, but they can’t tell anyone else. So why does it matter? Besides, do you care if people know you were there?”Severus only cared about the opinion of one person, and he didn’t think she would want him at another Dark celebration. But it seemed Lily wouldn’t find out, unless Severus himself told her he had gone. “No, I suppose not. Though, you know Lily wouldn’t approve,” said Severus. “Lily doesn’t make decisions for you, Sev. Live a little.”Regulus had a point, and he was quite keen to be around another seasonal festival gathering, especially one involving more than Hogwarts students. “You’re right, I’ll go,” Severus said. “Excellent. I’ll give you the instructions before I leave. It’s still a few weeks away.”Severus asked if he could borrow Nearly Undetectable Hexes and Curses from Regulus. Regulus passed him the book just outside their dorm rooms. “Will this be the first Dark Arts book you’ve read?” whispered Regulus. Severus nodded. “Just keep it hidden and don’t go shouting about it. Most people in our house have some kind of illegal contraband in their possession, but I don’t want that book confiscated.”“I understand, and thank you.” Severus decided to tuck the book into the back of his sock and pants drawer. He wondered if his dormmates also had Dark Arts materials stashed in their drawers. He’d never thought to ask, which wasn’t surprising as he’d spent almost a year and a quarter trying to be invisible to them. It was strange how the evolution of one Slytherin ally had morphed into several social acquaintances, and was inching toward actual friends. Severus still didn’t think of all the members of his social circle as friends yet. Regulus though? He supposed he now had two best friends. Severus certainly felt like he could talk to Regulus about anything, and very different things than he talked to Lily about. He almost never thought about the fact Regulus was Sirius Black’s little brother. And Regulus was very mature for an eleven year old. Severus then realized something which made his heart skip a beat. He might actually have to buy two Christmas presents this year instead of one. As December slipped by, Severus found himself more comfortable at Hogwarts than he had ever been during first year. He still met with Lily in La Sala once a week. And she, Regulus, and Severus spent Thursday evenings in the Room of Requirement. Classes didn’t ease before the holiday like they had last year. The teachers were assigning homework due right up to the end of term. Professor Slughorn told them after the holiday they would be asked to brew potions individually. Some people were very relieved by this, most were rather glum. Professor McGonagall informed the second years they would begin transfiguring mammals when they returned. And even Professor Sprout set the stage for a heavier post break workload by hinting they would be working in greenhouse four for the first time.“I miss the days of being a first year,” Lily said on the last Thursday before the holiday. “Personally, I’m looking forward to next year. This year’s coursework is a joke. And to not have study period anymore . . .” said Regulus. “Oh, I loved study period. I miss seeing Frank and Alice for an hour every day.”“Who are Frank and Alice?” asked Regulus.“Their fifth year prefects,” Severus said. “I had Narcissa and Eddie Bennett. Remind me who yours are?”“Honestly, I can’t even remember their names. They hate mentoring. They basically just maintain a quiet atmosphere and make sure everyone is actually doing something seemingly academic.”“Narcissa and Eddie were helpful. I guess I’m lucky I had prefects who were engaging.”“Alice is the seeker for Gryffindor this year,” Lily said. As if Severus cared. “That’s neat,” said Regulus. “I feel like we’ll never be that old, fifth year seems eons away.”“You’re telling me. At least you two will turn thirteen in January,” said Regulus. “I’m only turning twelve in February”“Wouldn’t have known except you’re so teeny.” Lily made a little scrunched face and held up her fingers indicating how small Regulus was in stature. “Hey, I’m going to have a growth spurt one of these days.”“One of these decades maybe.” Lily laughed. Regulus ran at her and Lily squealed, retreating quickly but the room was small and she was soon cornered. “What are you going to do?” she shrieked, but was also laughing. Regulus held up his hand and—as if his hand were a magnet—snowflakes began materializing half a foot from his palm and were sucked into his hand. Within seconds a snowball had formed. Lily danced on her toes, and Regulus whipped the snowball at her head. He had been standing quite close, and Severus was relieved to see the snowball was very soft as it broke apart and filled the side of Lily’s hair with sparkling flakes. “You little sneak!” she cried. “You’ve been practicing without me!” But she was also grinning from ear to ear. Regulus already had two more snowballs, one in each hand. Lily threw her hands over her head, but Regulus turned and threw both at Severus with impressive accuracy. Severus had been laughing and not on guard, so he was hit in the chest and square in the face with the fluffy snowballs. “Oi! Not fair,” he said.“Teach me, teach me,” Lily said. Severus wiped melting snow from his eyes. “I got the idea from the Halloween prank, which I must admit, was bloody fantastic,” said Regulus. “The incantation is Vocarnix. Sirius and them must have done some kind of spell enhancement though because all I’ve been able to summon is a handful at a time.”Lily was focusing on summoning the snow in her hand, when Severus had whipped out his wand, pointed it at the ceiling and said, “Vocarnix Maxima.” Immediately powdery flakes of snow began to fall at an alarming rate. “Woah!” Regulus said. His hair was already peppered with white flakes. Lily was laughing and spinning with her arms outstretched and head thrown back, her face covered in flakes as well. It accumulated so fast on the floor that within a minute Severus scooped up a handful and hit Lily in the back. She turned on him and scooped up a snowball of her own. And Regulus’ hands were ready with a snowball in each. Soon they were all locked in a three-way snowball fight. The floor was slippery as they skidded around the room, trying to avoid flying snow. Regulus and Lily were whooping and laughing. Severus watched Lily, the snow flew up from the ground into her hand as if suctioned there. Witnessing his best friend doing unconscious tiny magic was so enduring to him. Regulus capitalized on Severus’ distraction to pelt him with two snowballs to the chest, one after another. Then Lily grabbed him from behind. In her enthusiasm she hadn’t slowed down, so they were both swept off their feet and landed in several inches of powdery snow. “Dios mío, Lily!” said Severus. Lily scrambled on top of him, and pushed his arms down into the snow. Her long, damp hair curtained his face as she leaned over him. “Get him, Regulus,” Lily called, giving Severus a wicked grin. He wiggled and squirmed to get free. “No, no, no!” Severus laughed. Lily’s huge green eyes were hovering above him, and as Severus stared directly into them his whole body went slack. He felt his breath catch in his chest. Lily kept smiling down at him, then her smile faded and was replaced by a look of confusion. At which moment Regulus released an entire armful of snow over both their heads. “Ah!” Lily leapt up, chasing after Regulus again. Severus took a few breaths, then also scrambled up, brushing snow off his robes. He moved to the wall and slumped against it. As soon as Regulus caught sight of him, he joined Severus panting slightly, as did Lily. “Really brilliant, Regulus.” Lily smiled and punched Regulus on the arm. “And you haven’t had an episode yet! What gives?”“I practiced that spell practically into my sleep, it became sort of subconscious.” Regulus beamed at them.. Severus waved his wand and said, “Finite Incantatem.” The falling snow ceased, but the snow covering the floor remained. “I never get to act like a kid out there,” said Regulus. It was the truth. Regulus upheld his aloof and impassive public veneer with exceptional skill. Severus counted himself very fortunate he was one of only two or three people who knew the real Regulus. And in a strange moment of camaraderie, Severus reached over and squeezed Regulus’ hand. “I’m grateful for you guys,” Regulus said softly. Lily, of course, moved to pull Regulus into a tight hug. Severus cleared his throat awkwardly and said, “Yeah, me too.”“Come here, Sev!” Lily said, waving him into their hug. Severus hesitated for a half second, then moved so Lily and Regulus could wrap their arms around him. “I love you both,” said Lily, squeezing them tightly. “Aw, Lily, you’re going to make me blush,” said Regulus. Severus didn’t say anything, what was he supposed to say? Panic was boiling up in his gut. Why did he have to be so socially incompetent? Someday Lily was going to get sick of his quirks, he just knew it. He pulled back, and the three of them broke apart. Severus wasn’t looking at either of them, but he could feel both of their eyes on him. “Um,” he said, then, “I . . . I think you two are the most spectacular people in the world.” It was easier in Spanish. Regulus didn’t understand, Lily could pretend not to.“Sev, you are also spectacular,” Lily replied. But Severus shook his head. “Not like you two. But you never make me feel like I’m worth any less.” To his extreme embarrassment, Severus felt his throat constricting and his eyes blurring. He quickly turned away from his friends, blinking rapidly, hoping the moisture in his eyes would miraculously vaporize. And then Lily was next to him, her hand in his. She darted in to kiss him on the cheek. Severus quickly wiped his eyes as his cheeks burned. Lily smiled at him sheepishly. “I like you,” she whispered.“I like you too.” Lily squeezed his hand. And Severus wanted to hold Lily’s hand forever. To tell her how special she was. How lovely she was. How she was worth more than everyone else in the world put together. Instead he sighed. “What are we going to do with all this snow?” He looked around at Regulus who seemed to be trying to fade into the stone wall he was standing against.“Sev?” asked Lily. “Yeah.” Severus turned back to her, her cheeks still pink.“Have you ever thought about, you know, in the future . . . if we might ever be more than friends . . . ?” Her voice trailed off uncertainly at the end. Severus raised his eyebrows. “More than . . . friends?”“I don’t mean now. It’s just my friends are talking about crushes they have and the way they were talking about the people they have crushes on made them feel . . . well, the only person who I could think of who meant something special like that to me was you. And it just made me think maybe someday, if you also felt the same way . . .” Lily said most of this very fast, but trailed off again. “Are you saying you have a crush on me? ” “No! I mean, I’m not sure how I feel. But I can’t talk to anyone about it because it’s us. And us is a problem. But I thought maybe when we aren’t at Hogwarts anymore and us being us isn’t so much of a problem, maybe then I might feel a certain way.” She gave him a little smile. What Lily was saying was stoking a very warm glow in the center of Severus’ chest. But he wasn’t an optimist like Lily. And he wouldn’t let himself anticipate a time when he and Lily would be more than friends, when he knew she would change her mind before then. “That’s a long time from now.” Lily chewed her cheeks and looked down. Oh no, now he’d made her feel bad. He tried to back pedal. “I mean, you don’t know how you’ll feel in so many years.”
Shite. Shite. Shite.
“But Lily, you’re the best part of my life. As long as we’re friends, that will be true.” Lily kept her eyes down, and Severus couldn’t be sure, but it seemed like she was now blinking rapidly. “Can I hug you?” he asked. Lily nodded, and he wrapped his arms around her. She was taking slightly shaky breaths. Severus had a miraculous surge of inspiration and gently ran his hands up and down her back. And Lily squeezed him tighter. “Te quiero,” Severus whispered. When he didn’t have to look into her face it was easier. I love you. Lily was still and quiet for a few breaths. “Te quiero,” she whispered. He gave her a tight squeeze before stepping back. His cheeks felt warm again. But Lily gave him a tentative smile, then turned to Regulus and said, “Do we have any practice time left, I want to learn how to conjure snowballs.” Regulus smiled at her and when she looked away, he winked at Severus. Who gave a tiny head shake and shrug in response.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Chapter X
The Longest Night
On December twenty-first, winter solstice and the shortest day of the year, the students were still at Hogwarts. Severus and Regulus agreed to meet so they could recite the Yule incantation—which would transport them to the festival—together. “You have to speak the words at midnight precisely,” Regulus had said. “The Darkness will fetch you and transport you to the celebration. Dress warm, it’s outside.”Severus nodded. It seemed simple enough. Now, as the clock in the common room ticked toward midnight, Severus was feeling a combination of nerves and excitement. Would people wonder where his parents were, a twelve year old on his own at such a festival?At two minutes to midnight. Regulus emerged from his dormitory. “Let’s go,” he said, passing through the wall and turning into the first study room they encountered.Who else was going to be in attendance?Only one minute to midnight.“Ready?”Severus nodded, though his mouth felt dry.What would Lily say if she knew what he was about to do?“Obserco tenebris,” he said clearly, reading off the parchment as Regulus recited from memory. “Aperta porta, ut cultui nocte —” Severus felt a warm and gentle sensation engulfing his body. “Ubi fidem et reverentiam lava per pia.” The study room faded into black and Severus saw dancing purple light, when the light faded, he was standing in a huge clearing with stars twinkling above. Magic scented the air, accentuated by the winter landscape. The trees stood starkly, branches bare, as they swayed slightly in the occasional gust of wind. There were already many people milling around. And as Severus turned to Regulus in wonder a huge bonfire ignited in the center of the clearing. Severus was drawn to the fire, not for warmth—he was surprisingly warm for the cold night—but by some mysterious gentle force. Others were still appearing around the field, and everyone gravitated toward the fire. “I need to find my family. Come on,” Regulus said, leading the way around the loose ring of witches and wizards. Severus had no idea what Regulus’ parents looked like. A quarter way around the fire, Severus spied someone he did recognize. He was shocked by the sight of Black—Sirius that was—standing with his back to the fire. There were a few adults who shared Black and Regulus’ facial features there as well.“Papa, mum,” said Regulus. None of them moved to embrace. Then, “Andromeda, it’s been a while.”A witch who looked very much like Bellatrix, but with a gentler expression, gave Regulus a small smile. The witch was pregnant, judging by the size of her protruding belly. “Mum, papa, this is my friend, Severus, I’ve told you about.” Severus was greatly surprised to hear Regulus had mentioned his existence to his parents, but he was also rather pleased. If Severus knew anything, it was that the Blacks were an esteemed pureblood family. Being in their good graces was a highly sought after position. Severus inclined his head a bit and said, “Hello.” Then he glanced at Black who was clearly sizing him up, but Black didn’t say anything, just gave him a narrow eyed frown. “The opening ritual will start in a bit,” Regulus said to him. “We can walk if you want. Might see some other classmates.”Severus was not eager to see anyone else, but he also didn’t want to stand there with Black glaring at him. So he nodded and followed Regulus as they made to wander about. “What’s Black doing here?” Severus asked as soon as he was sure they weren’t going to be overheard. “My whole family has attended the Yule celebration as long as I can remember,” Regulus said, but Severus thought he caught a bit of hesitation in Regulus’ voice. “So he willingly came along on the family outing to a Dark festival? He had to get himself here tonight.”“Well,” Regulus said, then sighed. “This isn’t going to go over well—but you’ll find out tonight anyway. I knew he was going to be here; bit of a surprise to see Andromeda, she’s going to have her baby any day now. Anyway, he . . . he intends to declare Dark.”“He what!” said Severus. “I know, it was a real shock, mind. Papa wrote me a letter. I’m pretty sure mum thinks he’s pulling some elaborate prank on all of us. Sirius is doing a declaration rite tonight. Yule is a popular festival to declare on. You can declare yourself on any cyclical festival day, but it’s sort of special for the declaration to happen on the winter solstice.”Severus’ mind was whirling. Sirius Black—best friend of James Potter—was going to declare as a Dark wizard? There was absolutely no way Black’s friends knew about this. And if he was hiding this from them, what else was he hiding? Was his entire persona an act? Did he even belong in Gryffindor?Severus didn’t know much about the Dark Arts. He did know—as Professor Dumbledore’s old house—the whole lot of Gryffindors were adamantly anti-Dark Arts. What was Black playing at? He would have to be the first Gryffindor to declare Dark, maybe ever. “So Black just showed up out of the blue —”“It’s not out of the blue. I just said, my family’s been attending solstice forever. Sirius did historically put up a big stink about coming, but he’s been present every year. It doesn’t mean anything. He has a Dark affinity; which is hardly a shock in our family with such a long Dark lineage.“Andromeda must be here to support him. She’s been completely disowned from the family after marrying that muggle-born. I’m more surprised to see her here than Sirius. Mum and papa probably won’t speak to her. That’s why I didn’t introduce you, sorry. Andromeda is actually alright.”“And everyone is tolerating each other because . . . the magic of solstice —”“Prevents violence between attendees, pretty much. I bet mum and papa don’t see or hear from Sirius again until they pick us up in June.”“Doesn’t it concern you that he’s here?”“No, why would it?” “ Because he’s a Gryffindor. Because he’s most certainly hiding this from his friends. Because—I don’t know—it’s freaking me out.”To Severus’ surprise, Regulus chuckled. “I forget how little you know about Dark magic. Declaring Dark doesn’t make you an evil person. And it isn’t Sirius’ fault he has a Dark affinity. All this shows is that he likes power more than he might let on with his mates. He wants to access the magic the Dark offers its followers. Nothing more.”“But—but—but . . .” Severus said. “He’s going to use the Dark Arts against people. Right? I mean why else would he care.”“Look, I know you and him are basically enemies, but as far as the Dark is concerned, you are of one affinity. Aren’t you also considering walking the same path? Don’t judge him for following his calling. Besides, there is a difference between using Dark magic and the Dark Arts, though people like Professor Dumbledore might prefer it if everyone forgot the distinction.”Severus wanted to rip at his hair and scream; instead he took a deep breath and composed himself. “Yes, you’re right. I’m curious to learn more. I assume you’ll also declare Dark when you’re old enough?”Regulus nodded. They had nearly done a full lap around the clearing and people were forming a huge circle around the bonfire. “Come on.” Regulus grabbed his arm and hastened their pace back to their place with the Blacks. Severus had little idea what to expect. He stood between Regulus and Andromeda, and watched in awe as four people, dressed in sweeping robes of deep hues, stepped closer to the fire. They were spaced evenly around the circle, and one of them raised his wand and said clearly, “Eurus. De aere et vento. Coniungere nobis in hoc maxima noctis.” The witches and wizards around Severus repeated her last words back. “Coniungere nobis in hoc maxima noctis.” Join us on this great night. A sudden wind swept around them, billowing Severus’ robes. The next person on the inside of the circle, just a silhouette in the distance, raised their wand and declared, “Auster. De flamma et ignis. Coniungere nobis in hoc maxima noctis.” Again “Coniungere nobis in hoc maxima noctis” was stated back from all around the circle. Severus found his voice among many as he said the words. The fire in the middle of the clearing bloomed twice as large for a moment. A woman spoke next, her wand raised in her right hand. “Favonius. De aqua et pluvia. Coniungere nobis in hoc maxima noctis.”Goose flesh erupted over Severus’ skin when she spoke the final words, as he and the rest repeated them back. The magic was building around them. His heart was pounding in his chest. A misty rain fell from the cloudless sky, for only a moment. The final witch raised her arms. “Septentrio. De terra et lutum. Coniungere nobis in hoc maxima noctis.”“Coniungere nobis in hoc maxima noctis,” Severus said with the others. The ground beneath his feet trembled slightly. Severus was awed. He felt incredible, full of energy and life. And around the perimeter of the clearing, Severus saw a soft purple light flowing in through the trees. It moved gracefully over the dried grass and settled on the outer edge of the circle, encircling them all in its glow. The purple light breathed around them. The witch who had spoken last, spoke again. “A circle has no beginning and never ends. This is our magic, and this is our strength. The wheel of the year has turned and we find ourselves at this, the longest night. This is when the Dark is strongest. It is our night. It is a time for gathering strength, personal renewal, and reflection as well as the beginning of new journeys. “You may now begin any personal rites you wish to complete. The elements have been called, you may ask them for assistance should you need. Please return when the bell sounds so we can bear witness to those taking their first steps on the Dark path.”The purple light lifted and hovered in the air, obscuring the stars slightly. The circle broke as people moved in small groups around the field. “Which element have you chosen to swear your dedication with, Sirius?” Andromeda said. “Where is Narcissa?” She glanced around expectantly. “Fire,” said Black, smiling broadly. “Sirius, fire, really . . . ?” Mrs Black pursed her lips. “Be quiet, mother, or I’ll shun all of you from witnessing,” Black said. “It’s Sirius’ choice, Walburga. Surely you remember the reverence of your own declaration rite,” Andromeda said. Apparently the magic of solstice didn’t keep you from mouthing off with each other. “It was so long ago,” said Walburga, waving her hand absently. A figure with long blond hair hurried over to them. “Sorry, Siri, I had to slip away from Bella.” Narcissa looked round at the rather odd group. Her eyes caught on Severus and she gave a little smirk. “It’s fine,” said Andromeda, already marching away. “You’re coming with us,” Regulus whispered to Severus, and jerked his head after the group as they made their way to the southern corner of the field. It was warm in this area. They stopped and formed a semi-circle. Black stood facing them. Then Andromeda and Narcissa stepped to stand near Black. They formed a triangle, Andromeda on Black’s left, Narcissa on his right. Andromeda raised her wand, “Devotio vestri itineris.” Devotion to your journey. Narcissa follow suit, “Devotio vestri itineris.”Andromeda continued, “Ignis. We beg you to help us protect this young wizard as he begins to walk the Dark path.”“We beg you to help us guide him as he takes each step forward,” said Narcissa. “I am the archer.”“I am the bow.”“And Sirius Orion Black is our arrow, that we will send blazing forward,” said Andromeda. She then pointed her wand at the ground and twisted her wrist, conjuring a perfect rose. She picked it up, then gripped the stem tightly in her fist and dragged her hand along the thorns. Andromeda passed the rose to Narcissa, who repeated the action. Narcissa looked Black dead in the eye. “The Dark, like a rose, is beautiful. But it has thorns.” Narcissa passed Black the rose with her bleeding hand. “We will not protect you from the thorns of the Dark,” Andromeda said. “But we will give you the tools you need to see that the thorns hold beauty, even if they cause pain.”Then Andromeda moved so she was face to face with Black. “My little black sheep,” she said with an affectionate smile. “You never cease to surprise me. And I’m honored to act as your mentor as you walk this journey with Darkness. The path you’re choosing will be very difficult. But you have already proved yourself capable of walking a difficult path. I’m proud of you cousin. When you feel alone, remember here you always belong. I will stand with the Dark, and the Dark and I will protect you and guide you as you walk the Dark path.” Andromeda stepped toward Black and embraced him tightly—however awkwardly—with her giant belly. “Thank you, Andy,” Black said. Severus saw him quickly wipe his eyes when Andromeda stepped back and Narcissa took her place.“Sirius,” Narcissa said icily, then she huffed out a little laugh and reached out to ruffle Black’s hair. “I must admit, after you got sorted into Gryffindor, I never would have thought I’d be standing here. But here we are. I know we generally don’t see eye-to-eye —”Black let out a little scoff at this, and Narcissa laughed in earnest. “Okay, we generally try to avoid each other. But we’re family, we’re blood. And while I may not agree with your principles, the path of Darkness is for everyone who the Dark speaks to. I’m honored to act as your peer as you complete this journey. In this one way, we can overlook our differences and our rivalry and walk as equals.” Severus then watched Narcissa step forward to gently embrace Black, who hugged her back, a grin on his face. “Thank you, Narcissa,” he said. Narcissa moved back into place on Black’s right. “Narcissa Black, do you accept the privilege of being this wizard’s mentor?” asked Andromeda. “I accept,” Narcissa said. “Andromeda Bla”—she stumbled a bit—“Tonks, do you accept the privilege of being this wizard’s mentor.”“I accept.”Andromeda and Narcissa both raised their wands and recited in unison, “Devotio vestri itineris.”Severus felt his mouth drop open slightly as the familiar purple light of Dark magic wove and swirled around the three of them. The rose in Black’s hands began to glow with purple iridescent light, then it slowly broke apart, the pieces joining the other Dark magic swirling around them. The light gravitated to and around Black and it spiraled upwards in a sort of twister before disappearing, leaving the area strangely dark. The whole rite had quite literally taken Severus’ breath away. He forgot who he was witnessing. He forgot how strange it was to see Narcissa and Black being friendly. He forgot where he was. Like a parched mouth offered a cool drink, Severus drank the rite in. He was so entranced, Regulus had to tap him on the shoulder to get his attention. “Severus,” he said, “You okay?”Severus looked at him with wide eyes. “That—that was incredible.”Regulus smiled at him. “The Dark loves us all. When we honor the Dark, we love each other. No matter what our histories may be.”“I notice Black didn’t ask Belltrix to be his peer though,” Severus said. Regulus smirked. “Well, some wounds run too deep. His choice of Andromeda as mentor is very untraditional as well; one of our parents would normally have stood in her place.”Their group was dispersing to wander among the other attendees performing rites or acts of Dark magic. “Are they upset he used someone else?” Regulus shrugged. “I think they are pleased to see him doing an intention rite at all. They wouldn’t have cared if he picked a headless chicken to be his mentor.”Severus hadn’t noticed Black was still walking behind them until he said softly, “Sniv—Severus, can I have a word? You can come too.” He nodded at Regulus.Severus and Regulus exchanged a quick glance, then Severus nodded. “Okay.”They changed direction and found a deserted patch of trampled grass. Severus studied Black, who looked slightly taller and more sure of himself—if that was even possible—with his arms crossed over his chest.“I have something to say to you.” Black looked him squarely in the eye. “While I can’t say I’m shocked to see you tonight, I know you must be quite surprised to see me. And although the magic of this night prohibits you from mentioning this little rendezvous to anyone, there are other ways you can use what you have seen here to do harm. Are you new to the Dark community?” Black didn’t even bother waiting for Severus to answer, looking at Regulus who spoke for him. “He’s been to a few seasonal circles this year.”Black nodded. “My family has been Dark since the name Black meant anything in the magical world. This”—Black waved his hand gesturing to the gathering taking place around them—“is part of me. And while I am a Gryffindor, I’m also going to be a Dark wizard.” Black took a deep breath, which he let out slowly. Then he released his arms and stood with his hands balled at his sides. “I want you to know, Severus, I’ll be informing my friends of my choice, in time.” Black eyes were locked on his again. “If you have it in your mind to interfere, I—just please don’t. I realize we’re not friends. I don’t have the right to ask anything of you. But I have a feeling we might bump into each other from time to time. And in the spirit of brotherhood, I will act with discretion where you are concerned. I ask you to grant me the same service.”Severus swallowed thickly. Regulus was looking at Severus with an expectant expression. “Alright,” Severus said slowly. “I won’t use what I know of your intentions against you.”“This doesn’t mean we have to be friendly, you know,” Black said. “I hate your guts.”“And you,” Black now spoke to Regulus, who looked slightly taken aback. “You. Be. Careful.” Black said the words heavily. Regulus scowled at his brother. “I don’t need your protection anymore, Sirius.”“Don’t do this now, Reggie, it’s solstice after all.” Severus could almost see the finely tuned cogs of Regulus’ brain turning. He opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it. Finally he said, “Solstice or not, I’m acting as witness as our family tradition decrees. Enjoy your night, Sirius.” He turned abruptly and walked away. Severus threw Black a backward glance before hurrying after Regulus. Regulus was suddenly in a right mood, but he tried his best to hide it. To anyone but Severus, Regulus seemed the picture of calm, as unaffected as ever. A bell chimed after about fifteen minutes of weaving through other rites and rituals. Instead of reforming the circle, everyone moved to gather in the west corner of the clearing, where the witch who had summoned water stood before the crowd. “I ask any who are performing the rite of intent to please gather behind me,” she said. Severus saw Black move to stand behind the witch along with several other young teenagers. A few faces he recognized, but couldn’t put a name to. The witch turned and waved her wand in the air—she was clearly addressing the group of teens—but Severus couldn’t hear a word she said. After a minute or so, she began speaking to each teenager in turn. The crowd of onlookers was very patient. A few people murmured, but stayed quiet on the whole. Finally the witch waved her wand again and lifted the silencing spell. Severus thought he needed to learn whatever spell she had used right away. The witch turned back to the onlookers.“We are here to bear witness to these young witches and wizards as they begin walking the Dark path. We are also here to pledge ourselves to assist them as they journey toward their final declaration. The stronger and deeper the roots, the taller the tree will grow,” she said. One of the other summoner’s handed the witch a water pitcher, which the witch held up to the crowd. “They perform their first rites in front of favonius, water. Water is the element of the journey, and it will also help them put down strong roots.” She poured a thin stream of water out of the pitcher, then turned in a circle, drawing a ring of water around herself. She stepped out of the ring. The circle lit up with the purple light of the Dark. The witch set the pitcher down and began signaling the teenagers to step forward one by one. Black was second in line. He stepped into the circle and crossed his chest with his wand. “I, Sirius Orion Black, intend to start walking the Dark path. I ask for the Dark to protect me and guide me, as I will protect and guide the Dark.” He raised his wand, then said, “Tenebris ambulant mecum!” They walk with me in darkness. Light wove up and around him again, then retreated, and he stepped out of the circle. The next teen moved to take his place. Black walked to stand with Andromeda who put her arm around him as they watched the rest of the declaration rites. Severus felt a pull deep in his gut as he watched these other young people declare their intent to the Dark. He still knew next to nothing about the Dark, but he wanted to walk this path. He wanted to explore what the Dark had to offer. It didn’t feel vile, or dirty, or wrong. If anything he felt more at peace than he had in a long time. It was how he felt when he and Lily closeted themselves away for hours at a time—just the two of them—with no purpose other than enjoying each other’s company. Eventually the six or seven declarers had all taken a turn and the crowd applauded politely. The group broke apart again and people made their way back toward the large bonfire, which was still roaring. “The night ends with dancing,” Regulus said with a sly smile. Severus blanched. “D-dancing.” Regulus nodded. “You don’t have to of course, but it’s pretty hard to stay on the sidelines. Just wait.”Several minutes later Severus heard music start up, softly at first but it grew quickly. It was coming from everywhere and nowhere, an unidentifiable source. Witches and wizards were beginning to sway to the rhythm. And as the beat picked up, the movements became more energetic. Regulus gave him a questioning look, but Severus shook his head. Regulus shrugged, then moved into the crowd of dancers. Severus stayed on the perimeter. The music was magic. He swayed to the beat, and found himself closing his eyes—basking in the rhythm of the song and caress of Dark magic which washed over him. He felt a tap on his shoulder, opening his eyes to see Narcissa smiling down at him. “Dance with me?” she asked, holding out her hand. Severus clenched his jaw, but something told him to relax. He looked at Narcissa’s smiling face and felt a smile creep across his lips as he took her hand. She pulled him out into the crowd and they twirled through the other dancers. There were no formal steps—no predictable pattern—only moving with the music. “Let yourself go, Severus!” called Narcissa. And Severus tried to get out of his own way to do just that. Narcissa danced with him for a while before passing him off to another girl he didn’t know but was perfectly happy to dance with him. Severus felt like he was watching himself in a dream. He moved with the music, letting it fill his every pore. He spun away from the girl and nearly bumped into Regulus, who took his hands. Before Severus could protest, Regulus was dancing with him, a huge smile on his face. It seemed most of the younger attendees had gathered in the same area, and soon Severus was dancing with anyone and everyone in reach. Finally he moved to the outskirts of the group and took several deep gasps of air. He was winded and had a stitch in his side. “Need to work on that stamina, ‘ey, Snape,” said Black. He was sitting on the grass, propped up on his wrists as he leaned back, gazing at the sky. “Shouldn’t you be the life of the party, Black?” replied Severus. Black shrugged. “I do love this part. But now . . . it just isn’t the same.”Severus didn’t give two nifflers what Black was talking about, but he went on. “Do you ever wish things were different? Like the world was a different place?” All the time, Severus thought. But he said, “I don’t mind our world as it is.”“Don’t you?” Black raised his eyebrows in earnest. “I would have thought all the Slytherins wanted a much less tolerant world.”“Some of us have people we care about who would suffer in that world,” said Severus. It just slipped out before he could stop himself. Clearly the excitement of the night had inhibited his better judgment. But Black merely gazed at him, a slight frown on his face. “Did Regulus tell you how to get home?” Black asked. “Is that an invitation to leave?” “This party goes on most of the night. I want to make sure you don’t have to sleep out here.”Severus sighed. “Yeah.” He pulled the parchment with Regulus’ beautiful handwriting on it from his pocket and waved it for Black to see. Black nodded. Then pushed himself to standing. He held out his hand to Severus, who looked at it skeptically. “I’m not going to dance with you, Black, if that’s what you’re implying.”Black barked out a laugh. “I was merely going to wish you Happy Yule, I’m feeling rather mild at the moment.” Mild might not have been the word Severus would have used, but he did resonate with feeling a bit less hostile than usual when facing Black. Severus reached out and lightly grasped Black’s cool hand. They each gave a little shake. “Snape.”“Black.” Then Black moved into the dancers. Severus considered following him, but he was beginning to realize how tired he truly was. He figured he needn’t say farewell to anyone, and turned so the fire lit the parchment in his hand. “Obserco tenebris,” he said. “Ostium claudit, in choro est. Tenebris deducet me in domum suam.” Severus felt the same warm sensation he had back in the small study room wrap around him. The sounds of celebration, the sharp smell of magic, the caress of the Dark, all faded into blackness. He blinked and found himself standing alone in the study room once again.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Chapter XI
Christmas Comrades
Severus wished it were Saturday, but alas, there was one final day of lessons to attend. He skipped breakfast completely to get as much shut eye as possible. By lunch he was ravenous and food did liven him slightly. But upon returning to the Slytherin common room and pulling up a chair near the fireplace—intent to read for a while in the cozy glow—Severus fell asleep. When he woke the light filtering in through the lake was dim. Late afternoon had crept in. The common room was not empty, two upper year girls sat in a corner, their books and parchment spread out over a low table. There was also a boy Severus recognized as an upper year, slumped in an overstuffed armchair, snoring quietly. Perhaps he had attended the Yule celebration as well. Severus had seen many faces of housemates and even some other Hogwarts students, but the whole event was such a blur. The Dark itself and the actual darkness of the midnight scene both cast an anonymity over the event. Or perhaps it was the magic which made it impossible to talk about who he had seen. Regardless, the only people Severus knew for an absolute fact he had seen were Regulus, Black, their parents, Andromeda, and Narcissa. Bellatrix had been present but they had not crossed paths. The next morning the castle emptied as most students journeyed home. Regulus had skived off all his Friday lessons, and only emerged to wish Severus a Happy Christmas in the evening. He left with their peers on Saturday morning. Christmas was still days away, and winter holiday stretched another week afterward. What was he going to do to occupy his time for so long? Last Christmas he had dived headlong into his mother’s old school textbooks. While he loved to read, the thought of doing nothing but reading for two weeks was not an exciting prospect. But it was where he started. Several hours of reading later, Severus heaved a sigh and clambered out of his seat. The clock in the common room said it was going on four, though the darkness made it seem much later. His stomach gave an audible growl, indicating dinner couldn’t arrive too soon. As he traipsed up to the great hall two hours later, he found the house tables looked quite lopsided, with so few bodies seated along the benches. He ended up being one of roughly fifteen Slytherins who had remained at school. While he usually kept to his own social circle, it seemed there were a few slightly more outgoing students eager to converse with anyone who would listen. “Oi, mate! I know you.” A burly looking teenager with curly dark brown hair waved Severus over. The large boy stuck out his meaty hand. “I’m Goyle, Curtis Goyle, sixth year. Aren’t you the lad who invented the Langlock curse?”Severus nodded mutely. “Here, sit down.” Goyle patted the space next to him. Then he waved a hand at each of his companions. “This here is Jugson, Gibbon, Avery and Mulciber.” Severus assumed those were all the boy’s last names, as they would have been extremely odd first names. Avery and Mulciber were a year ahead of him, he recognized them.“You’re Severus Snape,” Mulicber said as Severus took a seat. Severus nodded again. “What’s the problem, kneazle got your tongue?” Avery said with a laugh. “No,” said Severus. He raised his eyes and looked at each of the boys in turn. “Nice to meet you.”Avery and Mulciber exchanged smirks.“Where’s your mudblood?” Gibbon asked. Goyle punched Gibbon in the arm, and Gibbon gave him a snarl. “Shut it,” said Goyle. Then he turned to Severus. “Not a lot of kiddies stayed behind this year. You’re welcome to hang out with us, if you want.”Severus most certainly did not want to. Especially after the less than friendly welcome from the other boys. “Thanks, I might,” he said, and began ladling beef casserole onto his mashed potatoes. There was a sudden outburst of laughter from the table on the other side of the hall. The Gryffindor table to be more precise. Severus turned to see Black with his arms waving wildly in the air, clearly telling some kind of story, and the five or six surrounding students roaring with laughter. “Stupid prat,” said Avery. “I’m glad he didn’t end up in our house. Wouldn’t want a fairy like that around anyway.”Severus kept quiet. Black’s flamboyant and energetic personality was well known, and well liked from what Severus gathered through whispers and less subtle gestures he observed. Half the school seemed to have a crush on him. “He’s a fucking blood traitor,” said Jugson. “He’s a fucking queer,” Mulciber added. “Oi, we talked about this, it’s the hols, give it a rest.” Goyle glared across the table at Avery, Jugson, and Mulciber. The boys rolled their eyes, but returned to their dinners. “Well, it’s true,” Avery said under his breath. Then he yelped and reached down to clutch at his leg. “Ow.”Goyle raised his eyebrows in response. “Fine.”“So, Severus,” said Goyle, bringing everyone’s attention back to himself. “How’s your second year shaping up? You’re a second year, right?”Severus nodded. “It’s been fine.”“You get to pick new subjects to take in third year,” said Gibbon. “What are you going to sign up for?”“I haven’t decided, have any recommendations?” asked Severus. “Avoid Divination, total garbage. So I hear,” Avery said. “And Care of Magical Creatures, if you want to keep your body intact.” Mulciber grinned sinisterly. “And Muggle Studies, unless you’re a mudblood sympathizer. Oh wait,” Jugson glared at Severus. “You are, aren’t you?”Severus’ heart sped up, but he gathered himself, arranging his features in a neutral expression. “I’m what?” he said. “A mudblood lover,” said Jugson under his breath. “Don’t know what you’re referring to,” Severus said, taking a bite of food. He wasn’t going to admit anything, make these fools come out and say it if they wanted to throw accusations—albeit true ones—at him. But Goyle interrupted. “Maybe Snape has had a change in comrades. You hang around with little Black don’t you?”“Regulus? Yeah, he’s my friend,” said Severus. “And how does Regulus feel about mudbloods and blood traitors? If his brother is anything to go by, he’ll be signing up for Muggle Studies come his third year.”“I don’t think so,” Severus said. “Regulus isn’t like Black at all.” While this wasn’t completely true, it was certainly what Regulus would want him to say. “Bellatrix’s got the nerve to appoint a first year, and a miniscule one at that, as her unofficial successor,” scoffed Gibbon. “But I say time will tell how the cards fall.” “What do you say, Snape?” Avery jabbed his fork at Severus. “Is little Black up to the job?”Severus shrugged. Regulus was eleven years old; even he couldn’t say what Regulus would be like as a teenager. “Well with the queen bee herself leaving school after this year, I see the position of Slytherin in Chief as wide open.” Gibbon stabbed his carrots aggressively. “And I don’t see how a firstie is going to fill Bellatrix’s shoes.”“Maybe he’s got a crazy side too, might run in the family?”“Bellatrix doesn’t have a ‘crazy side,’ that witch is mad.”“Don’t let her hear you say that.”“Oh please, she’d eat that shite up,” said Jugson, rolling his eyes. Severus chewed his caramelized carrots, wondering if he could make an early exit from the table under the pretense of feeling unwell. The last thing he wanted was to get stuck with this group of boys for the whole night. Five minutes later, Goyle invited him to join them for drinks in the sixth year dorm room. “Oh, I don’t drink,” said Severus. “You don’t have to have any, but come sit with us? What else do you have to do?” pressed Goyle. “It’s the holidays, the more the merrier.”So Severus relented and a social dinner turned into an entire social evening. Goyle seemed nice enough, even if the others were a bit outspoken. In the sixth year boy’s room, Goyle produced butterbeers for the younger boys. Then poured himself, Gibbon, and Jugson each a small tumbler of amber liquid. “You ever had firewhisky before, Snape?” asked Jugson, holding out his glass to Severus. “No,” Severus said honestly. Jugson indicated he should take his glass. “Why does he get some?” said Avery. “It’s just a taste.” Jugson smirked. Severus brought the tumbler to his lips and took a tiny sip of the firewhisky. He coughed. “Oi! Watch it,” said Jugson, snatching his glass back. “What did you expect?” Gibbon said. “Stuff’s an acquired taste.” He swirled his amber liquid and drained his tumbler.Severus soon learned ‘having drinks’ was a regular evening occurrence—at least during the holidays—for the upper years. And as they refrained from bullying, likely at Goyle’s request, he kept joining the group for this evening ritual. He liked listening to the conversations which flowed more freely the more alcohol was consumed. This was where Severus learned Avery and Mulciber had parents who were supportive of the Dark Lord. Their fathers were already in the man’s inner circle and both Avery and Mulciber spoke with reverence about the enigmatic leader. Jugson’s uncle had been arrested and was sent to Azkaban for using Dark magic to heal his grandmother from a mysterious illness. Gibbon’s older sister fled the country when she was accused of cursing a muggle family who had died in Nottingham two years ago. “She wasn’t going to get a fair trial,” said Gibbon. “Better free and an outlaw than locked up in Azkaban because the Wizengamot are prejudiced.”And Goyle had a little sister who was currently in St Mungo’s for ‘mental instability.’On Christmas Eve, Severus found himself staying up late into the night with Goyle. Severus had learned he could only enjoy one butterbeer each night. The drink was extremely sweet. He’d taken to drinking pumpkin juice, which he guessed the other boys were mocking behind his back, but he didn’t care. He didn’t want all his teeth to rot out prematurely. They were sitting in the common room, as the other boys had retired to their respective dorm rooms; Severus watching the flames in the fireplace dance. “I miss Matti,” sighed Goyle. Severus pursed his lips. It seemed to not matter who he was around, he found himself in emotionally charged situations which made him extremely uncomfortable. Thankfully, Goyle simply went on. “You know she had the most beautiful hair. Dark honey colored ringlets. When she was a baby she looked like a cherub with her rosy round cheeks.”“You talk like she died,” whispered Severus. “Nah, she just keeps her hair real short now.” Goyle sighed again. “Do you get to visit her?” asked Severus, it seemed like an acceptable thing to say. “Yeah, I make a trip to St Mungo’s every now and then. My parents are actually on a trip to France to see about transferring her to a more permanent facility. Which is why I didn’t go home this Christmas.”“Oh.”Goyle nodded. “I hate thinking about her locked up. She was at Hogwarts for three years you know, but last year, she . . .” Goyle took a swig of firewhisky. “Her dormmate found her in their bathroom, she had nearly bled out.” The older boy was silent as he stared into the fire. Then he let out a loud gasp and rammed his fist into his forehead. “No one noticed the marks. She’d been cutting herself for months. And it finally went too far. But I should have noticed. I should have helped her.”Severus felt himself pale. “Goyle, that isn’t your fault. How would you have known?”“I knew! I didn’t know she was cutting, but I knew she wasn’t okay. She came home after second year and buzzed off all her hair. She was getting letters that summer from some mysterious ‘friend.’ She was miserable and closeted up in her room.“When school started again, at first she couldn’t wait to go back. But as the year went on she withdrew more and more. I tried to talk to her. She shut me out.”Goyle took another sip of firewhisky and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “Then Greengrass, you know the seventh year prefect, she caught Matti in a broom closet with some Ravenclaw girl. Greengrass was really nice about it. She knew I was worried about Matti, and she told me what happened. I told Matti, I told her I don’t care who she dates. I told her I love her just as she is.“But she said our family would never accept her. That our parents would disown her.” Goyle shook his head. “I can’t say she was wrong exactly. But that’s not how things had to be.”“And then . . .” Goyle rubbed at his eyes. “What parent would rather have a dead daughter than a gay daughter?” he stammered. Severus felt awful. He thought about Lily and her club, which she never talked about but he knew was definitely taking place. He wondered if things would have been different for Matti if Lily had started her initiative a year earlier. Then again, he wondered if it would have mattered, Lily being muggle-born. “I want to remake the world for Matti. For people like her. I would do anything.”Goyle lapsed into silence again. The fire popped loudly. “I’ve been following the Dark Lord. And after I graduate next year, I’m going to see about joining up. He hasn’t said much publicly, but the rumors are he also wants to remake the world.”“Not in the same way,” Severus said quickly. “He’s playing up blood purity, he wants to create a world where the purebloods are a ruling class.” “Yeah, but it’s a new start isn’t it. An upheaval, and if the right people are in the right places, we can set new standards for other stuff too.” Goyle stared off into the fire. Severus wasn’t sure he fully understood or even believed Goyle. The teenager was drunk and emotional. But he could relate to Goyle’s urge to protect his sister and influence the wider community on her behalf. Severus was beginning to have real fear regarding Lily’s future safety. What if muggle-borns were persecuted? Ousted from the magical word, made to serve or even exterminated. Could he protect her? Only if he was on the winning side. Lily was a powerful witch, a valuable asset. Anyone could see that, no matter her blood status. And she was a fighter. But if he was on the losing side, what power did he have to save her? Christmas morning dawned cloudy and snowy. Severus had a very small pile of packages at the foot of his bed. Like any twelve year old, he sat up quickly and tore into the wrappings. The first gift he unwrapped was from his parents, well more his mother. It was a new winter cloak, in Slytherin green with silver fastenings. It looked good, modern and well made, though when Severus inspected it closely, he suspected his mother may have sewn it herself. Which made it all the more special. There was also a small bottle containing spicy tomato sauce for his breakfast fare. Severus sighed. He wished his mother would send the sauce by the bucket, the Hogwarts food was so bland. His second gift was from Regulus. It was a book: An Introduction to the Dark Arts: The Power, Prejudice, and Politics. On the inside cover, Regulus had quilled a note.
Severus, This was the first book about the Dark Arts I ever read. I hope you enjoy this copy. Happy Christmas!
Sincerely, Regulus Arcturus Black
Severus’ third and final gift was from Lily. He unwrapped it and found an extremely soft scarf in forest green. He heaved a massive sigh. Of course Lily would give him far too extravagant of a gift. He honestly didn’t know how Lily afforded the scarf, it wasn’t as if her family had tons of money. Had she knit it herself?Considering last Christmas he had only received two gifts, the three he had this year made him grin unabashedly. He hugged the scarf to his chest and buried his face in its silky soft texture. Every time he wore it he would think of Lily. He lingered in bed, turning the pages of An Introduction to the Dark Arts. It looked like a fascinating read. One of the chapters was titled The Rise and Fall of the Dark Arts, another was Dark Magical Figures, and still another Walking the Path. Severus skimmed several paragraphs. He was already getting chills reading about the history of Dark magic. What would it feel like to actually confirm he had a Dark affinity?Eventually Severus made his way to the common room, and then up to breakfast. The ceiling in the great hall was gently snowing. Unlike conjured snow, this snow didn’t reach the tables or occupants. The effect was rather whimsical. Severus walked past the Gryffindor table, where Black and Lupin were both stacking pancakes ridiculously high on their plates. Past the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws, to sit at the Slytherin table. He saw there were massive cinnamon buns covered in white icing. These smelled incredible and Severus gladly helped himself to one, which nearly covered his entire plate. He was soon joined by various other Slytherins. Goyle made an appearance. He didn’t give Severus any sign of acknowledgement regarding their conversation the night before, but he did wish him a friendly “Happy Christmas.” Severus spent the rest of Christmas day reading his new Dark Arts book. It was as fascinating as he’d expected. He wondered why modern attitudes about Dark magic had gotten so corrupted. The book presented Dark magic in a much more neutral light. There were evil people in the world, and evil people made evil wizards, and evil wizards made evil Dark wizards. But choosing to declare for the Dark did not make one an evil person by default. Dark magic had many positive and helpful uses. However, there was a chapter called Dark Corruption. Severus learned it was possible for Dark magic to eat away at a person’s mind. It could become an addiction and manifest in the form of manic behavior or even completely deranged madness. Severus couldn’t help but think of Bellatrix. The way he’d seen her react when Dark magic touched her, like she was flooded with ecstasy. And how she had a reputation for morally questionable ‘mad’ behavior. He didn’t want to model himself off Bellatrix Black, that was for sure. But maybe armed with the new information An Introduction to the Dark Arts provided him, he could convince Lily the Dark Arts weren’t as evil as she claimed. Regulus would likely back him up. Yes, Lily would come around eventually. Severus felt a bit giddy with excitement as he thought about the path he was going to start walking in just a few weeks time. First he had to turn thirteen, but his birthday was two weeks away. Then he could perform an affinity rite, and then . . . The Christmas feast seemed like an excessive amount of food for the number of attendees. Severus didn’t let this observation dampen his enjoyment of the special dishes on offer however. There was an entire roast turkey, and a small roasted pig with a little apple in its mouth at each of the house tables. Severus loved ham, and sliced piece after piece off the pig, as its body slowly disappeared. “We’ve been saving something special for tonight, Snape,” Goyle told him as they all finished off second helpings of Christmas pudding. “If you’d like to join us again.”Severus nodded in acceptance. He was feeling excessively full, too full to sleep. As the group left the great hall, Severus stayed back to use the lavatory. When he emerged, he saw Black and Lupin leaving the great hall together. Severus stepped back into a shadowy alcove and watched them from a distance. They were talking animatedly, Black laughing. Lupin’s face was a bit red. Then Black turned and grabbed Lupin by the hands, waving their arms excitedly. Black dropped his hands and continued some grand proclamation complete with sweeping arm gestures. Lupin, buried his face in his hands, shaking his head, and when he dropped his hands Severus could see he was laughing again. Black slung his arm casually around Lupin’s shoulders as they moved out of sight. Severus couldn’t articulate why but he was suddenly very grumpy. The Gryffindor’s hadn’t even noticed him—let alone accosted him—yet he felt he wanted to chase them down and antagonize them for the sake of it. Perhaps it was witnessing the fluid way they interacted with each other. Perhaps he wished he could touch and move around other people with ease. Even just one person. His person. He gave his head a shake, then made his way back to the Slytherin common room, and into the sixth year boys room. The usual group was assembled, with Jugson and Gibbon exclaiming over a bottle with a long neck. “Oak matured mead,” Goyle informed Severus with a grin. “It’s Christmas after all, everyone can have some.”Severus accepted a glass with a small amount of pale liquid in it. “To Slytherin,” toasted Goyle, raising his glass. “To two weeks of no lessons,” added Avery. “To the Dark Lord,” Jugson said quietly, taking a sip of his mead. Severus took a sip of his drink. It was very sweet, but tasted different from butterbeer. More fruity and less caramel. The older boys drank their mead quickly and Goyle produced another bottle. By the time the third bottle was empty, Severus was feeling rather dizzy. He’d had less than a glass of mead, which paled to the three or four glasses the older boys had thrown back. Everyone was a bit pink in the cheek, and talking far too loud for the size of the room. Surely Avery didn’t need to shout at Gibbon about quidditch, they were sitting three feet from each other. “Need another, Snape?” Jugson waved what Severus knew to be an empty bottle his direction, then crawled across the floor and tried to pour some more mead into his glass.“Whoops, guess no more for you,” said Jugson when the bottle failed to produce any mead. “It’s okay,” said Severus. If this was what being drunk felt like, he didn’t think he was much of a fan. He had a bit of a headache and the back of his mouth felt thick. “The little’s can’t hold their liquor,” Gibbon said loudly. “It’s because they’re so small,” said Goyle, playfully bumping Mulciber who nearly tipped right over. Mulciber didn’t look very good, now that Severus fixed his attention on him. He reminded Severus of someone, but he couldn’t think who. Then Mulciber lurched forward and put his hand to his mouth. “We got a chucker!” shrieked Gibbon. Goyle grabbed his wand. “Accio!” The bin zoomed to him, and he quickly thrust it in front of Mulciber not a moment too soon, as Mulciber proceeded to lose the contents of his stomach. “This is why I don’t normally drink with children,” groaned Jugson, gagging slightly himself. Goyle vanished the contents of the bin. “Evanesco.” The room smelled slightly less like vomit. “I’m going to bed,” said Severus slowly. He wasn’t sure his gag reflex could take another bout of retching—best to vacate the scene. He didn’t think anyone even noticed him leave, Avery was consoling Mulciber, while the older boys were talking loudly again. He slipped out the door and back to his own empty room. Severus spent the remainder of the winter holiday reading, doing homework, and practicing spellwork in the Room of Requirement. The room was lonely without his two friends, but he also wasn’t stuck in the role of incantation extinguisher. He pulled out Fifty Nifty Hefty Spells and flipped through the pages until he found the spell Regulus learned which coats anything in a layer of ice. Glacrassus was the incantation, with a swirling motion of the wand. The room had provided some bare minimal furnishing, its default arrangement for their practice group of three. Severus pointed his wand at a simple wooden table and said “ Glacrassus ” with the accompanying wand movement. A thin wispy smoke leaked out of the end of his wand, but nothing more. Not to be discouraged he tried again, and again. By the end of an hour, he managed to coat the table in frost. As he walked back to the common room, he wondered what would happen if someone cast the ice coating spell on a person. Would it hurt them? Would it have any lasting effect? He felt it could be an example of the inadvertently dangerous spellwork Professor Saaverda had warned them about. At least it was reversed with a Finite Incatatum. Some spells were less easy to undo, resulting in far more lasting effects.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Chapter XII
A Magical Birthday
The student body returned to Hogwarts en masse and lessons resumed the second Monday of January. Severus recalled how the workload had dramatically shifted between first and second terms during his first year. At dinner on Sunday, he mentioned it to Regulus who shrugged unconcernedly. “But I should mention, I had a meeting with Professor Slughorn this afternoon —” Regulus was cut off by the arrival of Lucius Malfoy. Lucius motioned for them to make space on the bench as he slid between them. “Hello, children,” he drawled. “I have an invitation to extend.” Lucius looked around the table at the rapt first and second year faces. Not another invitation, Severus thought. “You may have heard whispers of a new club.” Severus’ ears pricked and he straightened slightly, was this Lily’s club? “And we’ve thought to start a club of our own. First meeting is tonight, in the dungeon basement. The door straight on.”Severus gave Regulus a questioning glance. But Regulus wasn’t paying attention, he was studying Lucius with impassivity. “Are you inviting all of us?” Lucius nodded to each of them in turn. “Snape, Crouch, Pine, McCain, Perkyn.” Severus supposed Regulus’ inclusion was simply too obvious to state. “What type of club is it?” asked Barty. “A Slytherin type of club,” said Lucius. “A pureblood club?” Piers said in an eager voice.“A club for people who wish to make connections, advance their status, get in with the right crowd,” Lucius said offhandedly. But he stared at Severus as he said it, and Severus looked away first. “What time?” asked Regulus. “Eight.”“Right. Thanks, Malfoy.” It was odd to hear Regulus attempt the same air of authority that Bellatrix used, but Malfoy took it in stride and stood to leave. “We hope to see all of you there,” he said, then left them to their dinners. “I didn’t know the dungeons had a basement, how deep does the castle go?” Lester asked. “It’s only one more level down, I know where it is.” This time Regulus caught Severus’ eye and gave him a meaningful look. Perhaps this club was taking place in the room Regulus had taken Severus to the first time they had properly spoken. That would make sense; it was big enough and very private. At eight in the evening Severus, Lester, and Piers exited their second year dorm room to meet up with Regulus, Barty, and Nye from the first year room. Together, the six of them traipsed past the study rooms, and down the stairwell Severus had descended once before. At the door straight ahead, Regulus raised his fist and knocked. The door cracked open, and Rodolphus Lestrange’s face peered out at them. “Bit late, you lot,” he said, but opened the door and let them in. Severus stalled in the doorway as he caught sight of how many people were assembled in the room. Piers and Lester pushed him into the room, and they all found seats as part of a very large circle. Bellatrix’s smile didn’t extend all the way to her eyes when she caught sight of them—they must have interrupted her. She was the only person standing. Rodolphus quickly returned to her side. “Welcome, friends,” Bellatrix said. “You’ve missed a few personal introductions, but in the spirit of efficiency, we’re going to move on.” Her eyes swept around the large circle. “You’ve all been asked here because we feel it high time the students of Slytherin house made a more united front on behalf of the wizard many of you know as the Dark Lord.”Silence greeted this proclamation. Bellatrix let it stretch for several breaths. “Some of us”—and she nodded toward her fellow seventh years peers—“will be leaving Hogwarts in June, and not a moment too soon. For the Dark Lord’s work is beckoning. But the Dark Lord will not let just anyone into his ranks. Our families have spent years building relationships with him, and if you also intend to join his cause, you need to begin building credibility while you are still in school.”While Bellatrix spoke Severus looked around the circle, and tried to match as many names and faces as he could. He saw all the boys who he’d spent time with over the holidays: Goyle, Jugson, Gibbon, Avery, and Mulciber. There was another boy between Goyle and Jugson, who must also be a sixth year. Bellatrix was flanked by her usual crowd, Lestrange, Malfoy, Dolohov, and Crabbe. Narcissa sat next to Lucius, their blond hair nearly identical in color. Evan Rosier, who Severus now recognized from the Slytherin quidditch team, was sitting with Avery and Mulciber. There was another boy with them, likely a third year as well. That was everyone besides the boys he had turned up with. They made for a group of nineteen, he counted. His attention returned to Bellatrix as she said, “The Dark Lord wants competent fighters, but he’s also looking for individuals with exceptional talents.” Her eyes flicked to Severus and he felt his face flush slightly as he looked away. “Above all, absolute loyalty is paramount. Anything less will not grant you access to the Dark Lord’s inner circle. And anyone outside that circle is . . . expendable.” Severus felt Regulus shift beside him. Bellatrix spun her wand in her fingers before addressing them again. “The Dark Lord”—it sounded like she was caressing his title—“has asked me to convey his message to those I feel are worthy. He has asked that before I graduate I show you some basic combative spells, in the hopes that as you age, you will continue to practice. “The Dark Lord is patient. He understands some of his best future followers are currently underage, and not in a position to act at present. While you may be unable to act, you can certainly prepare.”There was excited muttering and fidgeting happening around the circle. It seemed the attendees were keen to learn said combative spells and begin proving themselves worthy of the Dark Lord. Severus was of two minds. His desire to learn new magic was strong. But Bellatrix had outlined the reason for this gathering and he had not settled on declaring his support for this Dark Lord. “I need not remind you this opportunity is exclusive, and word must not reach our dear Headmaster,” said Bellatrix. “Anyone found to have betrayed information will be punished most severely. Therefore, I recommend you keep this meeting, and any which follow, to yourselves.“Lestrange and I are going to demonstrate some spellwork we think prudent for you to master. Given your various ages, some may find this work easier than others. But we don’t want you to get discouraged. “Excellence takes time and practice. Count yourselves lucky if you are in your younger years, if you continue to practice you will be among the most skilled soldiers when you come of age.”Bellatrix and Rodolphus faced each other in the center of the circle. Then they started to slowly circle each other. “The Dark Arts,” Bellatrix said, “are a dangerous and many-headed monster. Using this to your advantage will always give you the upper hand on your opponent.” She was staring at Rodolphus, who stared back, smiling slightly. Then Bellatrix’s wand blurred and Rodolphus reacted just as fast. There was a bright flash of light as their spells collided. Bellatrix had already sent a second spell, which made Rodolphus lurch back. But Bellatrix had to act fast to block his next spell, conjuring a silver shield and a tinney gong sounded when his spell hit it. Bellatrix’s wand slashed again and a bright flash ignited near Rodolphus’ knees. He shot a spell back at Bellatrix who blocked it, causing a small explosion of sparks. They were moving so fast, Severus could barely process what was happening. After less than a minute, Bellatrix ended the duel by binding Rodolphus in thick ropes, from which he seemed unable to escape. There was a thin haze of grey smoke in the room, and a slightly acidic and metallic smell. Rodolphus was sporting a diagonal cut on one cheek, blood slowly running down to his collar, but otherwise seemed unharmed. Bellatrix didn’t have any visible wounds. “Most of you will be able to master all of the spells we’ve just used, eventually. A few will only be accessible to those of you who choose to complete the formal declaration process to become a Dark wizard. For today, let’s focus on the binding spell, Incarcerous.”Ironically, this was the same spell Regulus had been working on wielding wandlessly before winter break. Seeing it used in a duel was rather different, Severus thought. “I’ll demonstrate again.” Bellatrix flicked her wand and the ropes vanished from around Rodolphus. Before he could so much as rub his arms, she said, “Incarcerous.” He was immediately bound tight again. Severus, having been on the receiving end of this spell many times already, knew it wasn’t a comfortable feeling, but Bellatrix didn’t release Rodolphus. She walked forward and stroked a finger down the cheek which was uncut. “While the Dark Lord has no qualms against violent magic which produces injuries, there are times when restraint will be required. The ability to follow specific orders will be expected of all his soldiers.” Rodolphus opened his mouth slightly and nipped Bellatrix’s finger. She snatched her hand away, eyes flashing dangerously. Then she released Rodolphus from his bindings. “You will practice in pairs. Finite Incantatum will reverse this spell, it isn’t Dark magic.”Without any further instruction, the circle broke as people paired off and began practicing with one another. Severus was intending to pair with Regulus, but Regulus shook his head and walked toward Bellatrix. Severus instead partnered with Barty—who also looked put out that Regulus had vacated the scene. Barty wasn’t terrible with his wand. He was able to conjure some thin ropes after many failed attempts, though the ropes simply fell to the floor. Severus was able to bind Barty, but not tightly. Still, as he glanced around the room from time to time he saw they were having as much success as most, and they were among the youngest there. Regulus didn’t rejoin them. When Severus located him, he was standing in a corner of the room with Bellatrix, twirling a small silver dagger against his palm. Bellatrix was also holding a dagger, and was likely demonstrating proper hand placement judging by her gestures. Lucius had come over to help Nye, Lester, and Piers who were working as a group of three, clearly reserved about partnering with a much older peer. Bellatrix got everyone’s attention after a while of practice with a rather loud bang which made several people jump. “Good work everyone, next week, we’ll try a mild laceration curse. And be on time.”The group dispersed. Severus watched Regulus tuck the dagger into his robe pocket before joining the other first and second years. Severus was desperately curious, but he didn’t bring it up in front of the others knowing Regulus would share if it was something he wanted everyone to know about. And apparently it wasn’t.Monday afternoon brought double potions. Severus was unpacking his potions kit when a small figure with wavy black hair slipped into the classroom. He did a double take, then wondered what on earth Regulus—plus his book bag—was doing in the Potions classroom. This mystery lasted only seconds as Professor Slughorn spotted Regulus and gave a hearty laugh. “Regulus, my boy! Find a seat, find a seat. In fact you, Miss Flumette, our partner work is done for the year. You can find a seat with some Gryffindors. Regulus, you take this seat here next to Miss Plume.” There was a loud smash as a glass jar somewhere in the room hit the floor.It sounded as though every cauldron in the class had sprung a leak, so many people were whispering excitedly or angrily or confusedly to a companion. Grey was fuming, even Severus knew they hated when anyone called them ‘miss.’ Calista looked rather annoyed as well, eyeing Regulus with a very sour expression. Lily was frozen with her mouth gaping open. Severus had the wits to not look so fish faced, but he shot Regulus a curious glance. And Black . . . oh, Black was best of all. Black’s face was beet red. His fists clenched by his sides. Potter was frantically trying to clean up what looked like a fetal pig, curled sickeningly on the floor surrounded by a spreading ring of pickling juice. Severus held in a snicker, the surprising situation was worth it if only to see Black so furious. Slughorn called the class to order. “I hope you all had a jovial holiday break! As you’ve noticed, we have a new face in our class. Now this is rather unorthodox, but Regulus showed so apt at Potions during first term, I’ve invited him to join the second year class.” There were some murmurs and Slughorn held up his hands in innocence. “I know, I know, but I assure you Regulus is going to be a top notch potioneer.”Severus had no no qualms with him joining their class. He was simply wondering why Regulus hadn’t forewarned him and Lily of this class shift. Some heads up would have been nice. “I suppose this is as close as I’ll get to having both Black brothers in my house,” Professor Slughorn lamented. “Well no use moping over split allegiances.” He rubbed his hands together. “You may have heard me mention just now, everyone is to brew their own potion from now on. We’ll truly see where you each stand in potions prowess. “Today’s brew is a muddlesome memory libation. When brewed properly it will help the drinker remember an event with distinct clarity. This potion is banned from examinations, in case you were getting any ideas about using it to improve your memory.” Slughorn waggled his bushy eyebrows at them. “You’ll find the newt tails in the supply closet. Only one tail per person, so handle them carefully. And we are running rather low on rosehips, take only what you need. The method is on page two hundred forty-two of your textbooks, begin!”The class all scrambled to get their books open to the proper page. Some people were setting up their own cauldrons, as they had been expecting to work with their partner. Professor Slughorn bustled over to Regulus. “You’ll be alright then, lad. Need a hand with anything?”“No,” said Regulus. “I think I can find the ingredients, Professor.”“If you need anything, Severus here,” and Slughorn clapped a large hand on Serverus’ shoulder causing him to drop his scales, which clattered loudly to the floor, “is an excellent Potions student himself, and I’m sure he’ll be happy to assist you.”“Right, thanks very much, Professor,” Regulus said. He gave Severus an exasperated expression. Slughorn strode away, and Regulus busied himself preparing his work station. Severus collected his scales, then followed suit. He wanted to talk to Regulus; this was not the time or place. Besides, they weren’t seated next to each other. Perhaps he could convince Lily to swap seats with Regulus in the future. But then you won’t be next to Lily, a voice in his head said. A loud exclamation from the other side of the room brought Severus out of this reverie.“Get your own frog spleen, James! It’s not my fault you used yours to brew that babbling beverage you gave to the Slytherins last term,” Peter said. “Keep your voice down, Pete! Fine, I’ll go ask Slughorn for one.” “Do you know what that’s about?” Lily whispered to Severus. She was already slicing her newt tail into paper thin pieces. Severus shook his head. “Maybe he targeted the quidditch team, seems likely.”Lily huffed. By the end of the lesson, Severus found his potion was not quite as perfect as Lily’s looked, even though he was following the directions to the mark. He chanced a glance in Regulus’ cauldron when he went to wash his hands at the big sink in the back. Regulus’ potion was identical to Lily’s. Damn. He’d gone from top of the class, to third in a single lesson. He doubted anyone else would surpass him. Their potions had to simmer for three days before the final ingredient, an ounce of grated ginger root, could be added and the potion officially finished. “Hey, don’t come down here alone to finish your potion,” Severus said as they were cleaning up. Lily heaved a sigh. “Yeah, I won’t. I’ll be sure Potter escorts me.”Severus blanched, but Lily chuckled. “Kidding!”Lily left the classroom with Mary, but Severus hung back, hoping to get a word with Regulus. Black approached him first though. Not wanting to miss this confrontation, Severus pretended to be rummaging in his bag for a quill. “What are you playing at, Reg?” Black said. “Nothing, Slughorn offered to bump me up a class. What’s the big deal?”“Encroaching on my privacy for one.”“It’s a class, Sirius, I’m not moving into your dorm room.”“And mum is okay with this?”“Of course, why wouldn’t she be?” “She doesn’t even know, does she?”“No.” Regulus hung his head. “Slughorn said I needed her permission, but I forged the note and I think he was too excited to move me up to care.”Potter had now joined Black. “It’s not like he’s failing, macha. He’s just a little Potions genius.” Potter thumped Black on the back as he made for the door. “Come on!”“You can stop eavesdropping, Snivellus,” said Black before following Potter out the door. “You might have said something to me,” Severus said when Potter and Black had vanished. “Sorry, I only found out it had been approved the other day. Then I got distracted and forgot.” “Well, it’s certainly unexpected,” said Severus, but he shrugged. “It’s cool though.”“I don’t think Lily and I should let on we’re friends,” said Regulus. Severus nodded. “I completely agree, keep your distance. But us, we can be friends, right?”“I don’t care what Sirius thinks, I get to choose my own Slytherin friends.”The next day Severus woke with a small jolt of excitement, for today, January ninth, was his thirteenth birthday. And who doesn’t love becoming a teenager! He had been not-a-teenager for twelve long years, and now, today, he was suddenly thirteen. He felt so mature. He didn’t expect anyone except Lily and his mamá to acknowledge his birthday. He was surprised when Regulus plopped down next to him at breakfast and said under his breath, “Happy Birthday, Lily told me. I’ve got something for you, but I’ll give it to you tonight.”“Oh, thanks,” Severus said. “You didn’t have to —” But Regulus waved him off. “You’ll love it,” Regulus whispered. Then he dug into the bacon with impassive enthusiasm, if that was even possible. Only for Regulus was it possible, Severus decided with a smile. His mamá had sent him a small parcel of spicy toffee which a barn owl delivered with the morning post. And Lily snuck him a hug when they passed each other in the Charms corridor. “Felicidades,” she said hastily, and stuffed a little piece of paper into his hand before hurrying on her way. La Sala, 7:30 was all the note said. With the prospect of meeting Lily on his mind, the day dragged by. Even a dinner of fish and chips—a truly uncommon occurrence in the great hall—was little distraction. Severus was glad he’d thought to bring his spicy tomato sauce as he slathered it on both his fish and chips. Finally, at seven fifteen, he slipped out of the common room having assured Regulus he would be back shortly, as Regulus kept hinting at giving him a birthday surprise. He walked as quickly as he could toward the trophy room. When he reached the secret door, he opened it carefully and slid in. Lily was already there, a little cupcake with a candle in it held before her. “Hola,” she smiled. “Hola.” He scooted to sit across from her. “Mira esto.” Watch this. Lily snapped her fingers above the candle and it lit. She beamed. Severus didn’t have a glance to spare the candle, but he beamed back at Lily. “Nice trick, I’ve seen better.” Lily scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Just make a wish you moron.” Severus looked at the thin candle. He closed his eyes and thought the same wish he’d had every year since he and Lily became friends: deseo que Lily este conmigo para siempre.He blew out the candle in one little puff. Lily wasted no time in swiping her finger along the top gathering chocolate frosting and popping it into her mouth. “¡Ésa es mi magdalena!” Lily laughed. But handed him the cupcake. He unwrapped it and took a huge bite, chewing obnoxiously and swallowing loudly. “Delicioso.”He made to take another huge bite, but Lily was looking at him expectantly. He handed the cupcake back to her and watched as she took a modest bite. “Gracias.”“Maybe get more than one next time.” “Getting the one was difficult enough. Potter set a steep price.” “Ugh, do not clog up my birthday with talk of Potter,” Severus said. “What did he want?” “Twenty minutes of my undivided attention.” “That’s weird.” Lily shook her head. “He talked the entire time about quidditch. I think his friends are quite sick of it.” Then Lily fiddled with her hands and said, “What would you have asked for?” Severus, who was swallowing the last of his cupcake and about to lick the frosting off the candle, paused. His cheeks got warm and he didn’t meet Lily’s eyes when he whispered, “A kiss of course.” “You’re lucky he didn’t ask for that, you wouldn’t have had a cupcake.” “I’d rather have a kiss.” Lily smiled, then she leaned close to him, so her green eyes were mere inches from his. She fluttered her eyes closed and Severus did the only thing his brain could muster, which was to close his eyes and lean forward as well. Their lips brushed softly together and he felt a jolt of something lurch in his stomach. He was kissing Lily Evans! They quickly drew apart, opening their eyes at once. Both were grinning sheepishly. Lily actually put her hand over her mouth and giggled. “Felicidades, Severus,” she said. Severus didn’t think he would stop smiling for many days to come. “Finally, come with me.” Regulus practically ambushed him when he returned to the Slytherin common room. He grabbed Severus by the arm and pulled him down the corridor toward their rooms. Regulus stuck his head into his own room. “Oh hey, Barty, you have a chocolate frog?”“No. Why?”“Because I need a new pet. I want to eat one, you dufus.” Regulus let the door fall closed and popped over to the second year boy’s room. He poked his head in this room, then yanked Severus so hard he let out a little yelp. But Regulus shushed him and soon they were crawling into Severus’ four poster. “Didn’t want us spotted crawling into a bed together,” said Regulus, after Severus had cast the silencing charm. “Not that I care, but I know you do. So . . .”Severus was rather confused, so he stayed quiet. “Here, lie back. It’s better this way.” “What’s better?”“Just do it, please.” It was quite dark, but Severus would have bet Regulus had rolled his eyes. They both lay back on the bed and Regulus rummaged in his pocket for a moment. “This is your birthday gift,” he said. “I still don’t —” Suddenly the small space was full of dancing lights. They were fluttering up out of something, a little box. And they were snowflakes. Hundreds—maybe thousands—of snowflakes. They danced and shimmered in the dark air. Severus reached up and touched a few. Some stuck to his skin, but many were simply sent on a new course. “Wow.”“Pretty cool, right?”“What is it?”“Pandora sends me a box about once a month. She makes them. Pretty spectacular.”“It’s beautiful.”“Happy Birthday, Severus.”They lay watching the snowflakes flutter, sticking their hands up to occasionally stir the air. They heard each of Severus’ dormmates come in, get ready for bed, and close their curtains. After the last person had been in their bed for at least twenty minutes, the snowflakes had all begun to very slowly descend toward the bed. Regulus said his goodbyes. Severus didn’t want to close his eyes, the snowflakes were too beautiful. But eventually his eyelids grew so heavy, he could fight it no longer. It had been a truly magical birthday. On Thursday Lily had hugs for both of them and, as it was their first proper chance to talk as a group after the winter holiday, prattled on about her family’s Christmas. Petunia had a new boyfriend, some muggle named Victor. Petunia, who had celebrated her sixteenth birthday in September, was old for her grade and would sit her Level One exams in June. She was hoping to qualify for vocational school as an office assistant or a typist. Severus didn’t even feign interest as Lily regaled them with this ‘news.’ “And Vernon came round for dinner on New Year’s Eve. He’s a bit —”“I thought you said his name was Victor?”“No, Vernon. He’s rather . . . bland.” Lily looked sheepish. “Well, don’t look so sorry about it, you aren’t insulting either of us.”“How was your holiday, Regulus?” asked Lily, wrinkling her nose at Severus. “Oh, just peachy. No Christmas tree, as I expected. But I still got presents for Yule. In fact, I got a new racing broom. I couldn’t bring it to Hogwarts of course, but next year . . .”“Wait, why didn’t you have a Christmas tree?” Lily looked puzzled. “What’s Yule?”The editorial from Pollux Black swam into Severus’ mind. He didn’t want to tell Lily the real reason Regulus didn’t have a Christmas tree was because his family felt muggle-borns were taking over the ancient traditions with their muggle holidays. So he said quickly, “Regulus’ family celebrates Yule; it’s an ancient seasonal festival. It’s the same as solstice, you know, the shortest day of the year.”Lily seemed interested. “Really? We’ve learned about solstice in Astronomy. I didn’t realize it was a cause for celebration.”“That’s because it’s the darkest day of the year,” said Regulus. And Severus groaned. “As in, Dark magic?”Regulus nodded. “I see.” But Lily let the subject drop and didn’t question Regulus further about his lack of a Christmas tree. They all proceeded to thank each other for the gifts they had received. “What did Regulus get you?” Severus whispered in Lily’s ear when Regulus had moved away to practice wielding the Engorgio spell, which he’d gotten from Severus’ copy of The Standard Book of Spells Grade 2. “A fancy quill. Why?”Severus shrugged. “Just curious.”“I really liked your gift, by the way.” Severus had little funds to purchase gifts for his two friends. He and Lily had exchanged modest sweets last year. Sensing he needed to up his game this year—and not without reason after he received her gift—he had transfigured a cardboard Bertie Bott’s container into a small wooden box. Then charmed it to play a little tinkling tune when opened. Some books from the library had provided the necessary spellwork. He had once seen a muggle music box in Lily’s room, with a tiny dancer that twirled as a tune came out of the box. It seemed rather magical to Severus at the time, though Lily had shown him how the box had to be wound with a tiny knob. His box really was magic, though the tune was nothing to write home about. Still, Severus glowed inside with Lily’s complement. She set to work, white mist drawing in toward her palms as she tried to summon snow. “Are you really going to learn that spell?” asked Severus. “Why not, it was cool, and it might be useful.” But she said it wistfully, both of them recognizing the ability to summon a snowball wandlessly was likely not a ‘useful’ skill. It was still adequate practice however. And the hour they had together passed swifty.“It’s so neat you joined our Potions lesson, Regulus. Some people are upset, but not me. That being said, I’ll more or less ignore you,” said Lily before they left the Room. “Probably for the best,” Regulus said. As they went their separate ways, Lily pulled Regulus aside and whispered to him. Severus tried to not care, he really did. But he was a bit sulky as they walked back to the common room.
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Chapter XIII
Hostile Adversaries
January blasted by, the gale force winds finding any nook or cranny in the ancient castle walls to squeeze through. The corridors became so cold the younger students were donning hats, cloaks, and mittens to walk between classes. It was the only time of year the dungeons were warmer than the frigid corridors. Buried so deep underground, the biting wind had no chance of infiltrating the dungeon walls. And the lake provided a fair amount of insulation. It was still dark and a bit damp, but all in all, Severus felt very cozy in his common room. The birthday kiss between Lily and Severus hung in the air between them, an unanswered question. Regulus had picked up on their strange energy. He didn’t give Severus a hard time about it when he came clean about the events which had unfolded in their little hideout on January ninth. “I’m glad for you,” Regulus had said. “But you two aren’t dating now, right?”Severus shook his head. He wasn’t going to broach the topic with Lily because he liked having her as a best friend a little too much to complicate matters with a ‘relationship.’ He had witnessed one too many teenagers in hysterics after they’d been dumped to have much interest in dating anyone himself. Still, he was glad Lily had kissed him. It just felt right. “Are you going to kiss again?” “I don’t know, probably not.”Regulus looked at him. “We’ll see.” And that had been all they said about it. Lily’s birthday came at the end of the month. Severus knew her Gryffindor friends were going all out for her. A wave of jealousy rolled over him when he thought of them celebrating together in Gryffindor tower. Of course, the fact that Lily’s best friends were all the people she roomed with helped. If he’d thought Lupin, or Black, or heaven forbid Potter were included in the birthday festivities, it would have meant more than stewing in bitter jealousy for a day. As Lily’s actual birthday was full of friends and fun, he and Regulus prepared a small surprise for her the Thursday after when they were together in the Room of Requirement. It also happened to be the day of the next seasonal festival, Imbolc. And Severus was buzzing with all kinds of nervous and excited energy. So much so that the firework display he and Regulus had prepared turned nearly catastrophic when the rainbow colored sparks Severus had been intending to shoot out of his wand came out as a blazing rainbow torch which left scorch marks on the stone walls and lit a tapestry on fire. Regulus extinguished the fire with the ice coating spell. “Well that was lovely, and I’m glad to not spend tonight recovering from severe burns in the hospital ward,” Lily said. She gave them each a crushing hug and Severus worked up the nerve to peck her on the cheek before she released him. They bid each other goodnight and Severus and Regulus returned to their dorm rooms to grab their warm outerlayes before heading right back out, flanked by the entire group of Bellatrix’s unofficial club. There had been plenty of talk within the confines of the common room about the Dark Arts in recent weeks. Of their group, several individuals were going to do an affinity rite tonight as the first step to walking the Dark path. The older students were either already declared or weren’t interested in going through the process. Bellatrix stressed the Dark Lord would view a declaration to the Dark in a highly favorable light. But ultimately people could make their own choices about declaring or not. Severus had no interest in declaring Dark because some stranger might think more of him for it. He simply knew it was the path he wanted to follow. It was like his kiss with Lily, it felt right. Bellatrix opened the circle, they walked together with their wands pointed at the ground and called to the Dark. Then it was time for rites. There were seven attendees who wished to do an affinity rite. Bellatrix said, “Lester McCain.” He stepped into the circle and raised his wand to point directly up. “Tonight I wish to perform a rite of affinity. I stand before the Dark in curiosity, open and willing to listen. Will the Darkness move within me, and through me, accepting me as its child? Filius sum, puer sum, amicus. Cupio scire tenebris.” I am a son, a child, a friend. I wish to know the dark. It took a few seconds but the purple light Severus recognized instantly as Dark magic streaked across the sky and aimed right for Lester. It connected with his wand, bathing him in purple light before vanishing. Lester smiled brilliantly when the magic vanished and returned to his place in the circle. A boy named Roman Wilkes was next. He said the same words and purple light cascaded down from the sky to connect with his wand, surrounding him in beautiful purple tendrils of magic. And on it went, Lothar Mulciber, Piers Pine, Archibald Avery, and Evan Rosier all completed their affinity rites with success. Severus noticed the light lingered for different lengths of time depending on the boy, and even varied in degrees of brightness. But it was hard to judge. Finally it was Severus’ turn. “Severus Snape,” Bellatrix said. He took a step into the circle. He didn’t know why but he was suddenly very, very nervous. His half-blood status was wriggling like a worm of doubt in his stomach. Perhaps he had been mistaken. Perhaps the Dark wasn’t calling him. Perhaps he was about to reveal far too much to his peers, be ousted from their presence, formally shunned by the whole house. Well, at least he and Lily would remain friends. Severus raised his wand into the air with a trembling hand. “Tonight I wish to perform a rite of affinity. I stand before the Dark in curiosity, open and willing to listen. Will the Darkness move within me, and through me, accepting me as its child?”“Filius sum, puer sum, amicus. Cupio scire tenebris.”He waited. Purple light appeared in the sky, then connected with his wand, engulfing his body. It was the most incredible thing he had ever felt. The Dark licked his skin, even through his winter clothes. It was warm, and beautiful, and pure. It was home. As the sensation began to fade, Severus opened his eyes. He hadn’t remembered closing them. The night around him was dark once again. But Severus didn’t care, he had a huge smile on his face. The same smile he’d seen each of the other boys return to their place in the circle wearing. On shaky legs, he stepped back into his position. Bellatrix continued calling people forward to perform a rite of their choice; Severus had been the final affinity rite of the younger students. None of the first years were old enough yet. “A circle has no beginning and never ends. This is our magic. This is our strength. We bring this circle to an end, but may the Darkness linger with us until the next,” Bellatrix said. They each swept their wand across the outer edge of the circle and Severus felt the unifying magic of the space break. He was a bit light headed from his affinity rite. Regulus turned to him. “That was amazing.”“Yeah,” Severus said with a sigh. “No, I mean you were amazing.” Severus furrowed his brow in confusion. “What do you mean? I did the same thing as everyone else.”Regulus shook his head with wide eyes. “The Darkness, it really liked you. Your light was brightest, and lasted longest.”Severus blushed in the dark, but shrugged; he was feeling too good to get worked up. As they walked back to the castle, Bellatrix sidled up next to him. “Do you intend to walk down the Dark path, Severus?” she said. “Because I think the Dark will be very disappointed if you do not.”“Perhaps,” was all he said. Bellatrix gave him a wan smile, then said, “Tell me you didn’t enjoy that?” She cackled, then ruffled his hair. “You’ll be a powerful Dark wizard, mark my words. I wish I was going to be around to mentor you, but alas. Onto bigger things.” Then she skipped away toward the other seventh years. The atrocious weather in January resulted in the Slytherin Ravenclaw quidditch match being delayed until the first weekend in February. The weather for the match was only slightly improved, and Severus declined to join Regulus in attending. Even when Regulus insisted it could be a birthday present. With how full the common room was, Severus figured the only Slytherin in the stands that day was indeed Regulus. Mercifully, the match was quick. Slytherin reigning victorious. “I swear, the snitch flew right at me,” Narcissa said as she combed her fingers through her blonde hair, perched in Lucius Malfoy’s lap near a crackling fireplace later in the day. Lucius had his arms wrapped around her, and was nuzzling her ear. “Never would have found it in that storm otherwise.”“No, you’re an excellent seeker,” Lucius said. Narcissa turned and gave him a little smack on the chest. “Oh stop.” But Lucius grabbed her chin and started snogging her. At which moment, Severus suddenly felt the urgent need to be elsewhere. He grabbed his book and headed toward his dorm. Tonight was sure to be another loud party, celebrating Slytherin’s victory over Ravenclaw. Severus endured the party and found himself looking forward to the meeting which would take place the next day in the lower level of the dungeons. In the room behind the door straight on from the stairs, Severus felt he was finally excelling as a wizard. Even though he’d invented his own spells, and even though he was near top of the year in many subjects, it was practicing spells with the other Slytherin’s where he really shone. As a second year, he was just as competent as many of the fifth years. Interestingly, Regulus refused to practice magic with the rest of them. Instead, he and Bellatrix worked on knife skills. Literally slashing and jabbing, and even throwing the things at targets affixed to one wall. Bellatrix would also help instruct on spell work. But she would flit back and forth between Regulus and the others. Severus did not understand this bizarre behavior, and Regulus refused to discuss it. The spells they had learned so far were the binding spell, the mild cutting spell Incisus, and a blasting hex Reicuma. They had not practiced the more dangerous spells on each other. The seventh years had conjured or summoned various objects for everyone to practice on. When Severus walked into the room Sunday night, there was a large ring marked out on the floor with white chalk. When everyone was present—not a minute after eight o’clock—Bellatrix gained the room’s attention. “We’re going to test your skills today,” she smiled. “You must learn to think on your feet, to act while scared. Because out in the real world, opponents don’t wait politely or take turns. You never know when you might be fighting for your life.”Severus thought this a bit overdramatic, but he kept quiet. She called them forward in pairs to cast spells at each other. It became plain at once this was going to result in some real injuries. And it was also obvious that while everyone was showing at least some improvement in practice, casting these spells against each other was much harder and rather traumatic. After Rosier gave Wilkes multiple small lacerations with Incisus, Wilkes broke down in tears and Evan rushed to comfort him. “Children,” Bellatrix said in frustration. She tapped Wilke’s wounds, muttering “Adtractus” and each wound sealed itself instantly. “The children will duel me.” Mulciber visibly blanched as did Nye. “I mean, you can practice with me. I won’t fight back, much,” Bellatrix clarified. She eyed them all speculatively. “Crouch, get in here.”Barty walked into the ring and faced Bellatrix. She tapped her wand into her left hand. Barty called, “Incarcerous.” But Bellatrix had swished her wand and sent a blocking spell to intercept it. “Incarcerous,” he tried again. This time following it immediately with “Reicuma.” A small puff of black smoke and tremor detonated out of the end of Barty’s wand. Bellatrix laughed, dropping her defensive stance completely. “Incisus.” Barty flicked his wand and a gash appeared on the side of Bellatrix’s face. “Not bad for a first year,” she smiled. Barty looked proud. Avery faced her next, and as a third year, he was much improved over Barty, but still no match for the speed with which Bellatrix deflected his spells. He ended up with a slice in his leg, which Bellatrix healed. “Why don’t you teach us the deflection spell?” Severus asked before he could stop himself.Bellatrix eyed him, considering. “Snape, in.”He gulped, then strode into the ring. “You don’t win battles by deflecting spells, Snape,” Bellatrix said. She flicked her wand and Severus felt an intense sting as a cut opened on the right side of his face. He raised his own wand and said, “Incarcerous.” But Bellatrix had already gotten off another cutting curse, and his left cheek was now also bleeding. She’d also managed to block his spell. He sent a blasting spell at her, which she blocked but the force still knocked both of them back slightly. Severus sent the binding spell again, and Bellatrix gave him another gash on his neck. He was getting really frustrated. This was hardly fair. In his anger, he started volleying spells at her, any spell he could think of. “Glacrasuss. Pediter. Incarcerous. Incisus.” She blocked them all. “You’re thinking too much, little snake. The spells need to flow through your mind like water, not be plucked out like a dead fish.”Severus felt her cut into his arm, creating a gash in his robes. He was trying to think of how not to think while also still cursing Bellatrix. Finally she knocked him flat on his back and crouched over him so their faces were inches apart. Severus felt the unpleasant sensation he’d felt once before, like Bellatrix was reaching into his mind and searching the contents. He slammed down wall after wall, blocking her out. It was hard to avoid her eyes, faces only inches apart“See, you are locked up too tight,” she whispered. “Nothing can flow through all those walls. You need to relax.”“Bit hard to relax with you slicing me apart.”Bellatrix tsk’d. “Let the walls down, Severus.” But Severus had had a stroke of inspiration and butted his head forward, connecting hard with Bellatrix’s face. She yelped and leapt off him. He pointed his wand at her and cried, “Reicuma.” Bellatrix was blasted back and thick dark smoke hung in the air between them. And he wasn’t done. “Incarcerous.” Ropes wrapped around her, binding her where she lay. But she wasn’t upset, no she was . . . laughing. Severus stepped to stand over her. “Well played, Snape.” Her face was red with blood from her nose, had he broken it? It was in her teeth, staining them a sickening shade as she smiled up at him. “You might be able to teach the spells, Bellatrix,” he said. “But you don’t play fair.” Then he put his lips next to her ear and said, “And stay out of my head.”He stood and without looking at anyone, strode from the room. Slamming the door behind him. Severus examined his face in the mirror. He’d left without giving Bellatrix a chance to heal him. And he wasn’t going to track her or any other upper year down to ask for aid. He couldn’t go to Madam Pomfrey—how would he explain his injuries? They weren’t deep. They would need a few days to heal on their own. What he’d forgotten in his desire to not look weak or be asked probing questions was that he’d have to explain the cuts to everyone else. Including Lily. “Merlin, what happened to your face?” Lily said as they took their seats in Potions on Monday. Severus frowned. “I got scratched by . . . some tree branches.” “Severus Snape, you are the world’s worst liar.”But what was he going to say to her? ‘Oh I just got them practicing dueling with a group of aspiring supporters of the Dark Lord, muggle and mudblood haters alike. You know, my friends.’ Instead he said in an icy tone, “It isn’t your business, Lily.” They glared at each other with narrowed eyes. Severus decided to give her the silent treatment for the remainder of the lesson. He was in a terrible mood by the end of class, even though his headache draught looked nearly identical to Lily’s. He could feel Regulus’ eyes boring into the back of his head. When he went to the sink to wash his hands, he returned to find his potion was no longer navy blue, but turquoise. Completely perplexed, he stirred it tentatively, then glanced around the room. Potter was standing on the wrong side of his work station, cleaning up with his back to Severus. But there was nothing he could do. He ladled some of the ruined potion into a flask and submitted it for grading, cursing under his breath. In light of Regulus’ twelfth birthday, Severus wished his friend a happy year, but little else, as they had decided another small celebration could take place on Thursday so Lily was included. This suited Severus fine as he was in such a foul mood on the actual day.His bitter mood persisted all the way to Thursday evening. Severus was not looking forward to an hour holed up in the Room of Requirement with prying Lily. At least Regulus would be there, to diffuse some of the tension. Also the cuts were all but gone from his cheeks. But he was not wrong to be full of anticipation, for he had hardly cleared the door when Lily was in his face. “You’d better tell me what really happened to you last weekend. I don’t believe for one second those cuts were the result of some accident. What have you been doing behind my back?”Regulus had pushed past them into the room and closed the door. Then he moved off to a far corner, trying to be discreet. Severus’ temper was on the verge of exploding.“Behind your back? I don’t report to you. You don’t get to know everything I do. You don’t control me!” Severus yelled into her face. But Lily didn’t budge. “Control you? Control you! No one can control you. You do exactly what you please, you don’t think of anyone but yourself.”“How can you say that? I’m here every week with you. I don’t get anything out of this!” “So what, you go and pick a fight to feel like you’re accomplishing something? You’ve accomplished nothing. All it got you was some nasty cuts.”“How dare you! I may not be the next magical prodigy, but I don’t spend my free time pranking the school.” “Not that again. You are obsessed with them, Sev. You act like you’re better than them, but you aren’t. Maybe you’re secretly in love with one of them, I don’t know why else you care so much about those stupid boys.”“Shut up, Lily. You have no idea what they are like to me. So what if I want to learn to fight back.” “Fight back?” And Lily gave him a hard shove so he fell back into the wall. “They aren’t fighting you, you idiot. They’re just arrogant, airheaded boys who like to get a laugh.”“A laugh at my expense. I’m sick of it! I’m sick of looking weak. I’m sick of holding back.” “So what, you’re going to do to them what was done to you and use Potter and Black as a sharpening block?”Severus didn’t know what a sharpening block was, but it didn’t matter. “Eres tan hipócrita,” he said softly. You are such a hypocrite. Lily shoved him again, but he didn’t have anywhere else to go. So he shoved her right back. “It’s fine for Gryffindors to pick fights, but not me?” “I don’t care about them,” Lily yelled. She was blinking furiously, holding back tears. Her next words were in Spanish, and much quieter. “I care about you. And you keep pushing me further and further away.”“You don’t even know me.” “And what’s that supposed to mean? I’ve known you since we were ten. That’s longer than anyone else at this school.”“There are things you don’t know about me. I’m allowed to have secrets. If you knew them, I don’t think you would care so much what happened to me.” Lily glared at him. “I think what Sev is —” Regulus began. “Shut up, Regulus!” Lily and Severus yelled in unison. “This is about Dark magic, isn’t it? You’ve been messing about with the Dark Arts!”“¿Y qué si lo he hecho?” So what if I have? Lily let out a slightly manic laugh. “Finally, finally you’re being honest! So what, you were trying out some Dark curse and it backfired on you?”“It’s none of your business.” Lily held up her hands innocently. “Fine. Fine. I’ll drop it, but I want you to know you’re a coward. You’re a coward for sinking so low as to resort to Dark magic —” But she didn’t get anymore out, for Severus had thrown himself at her and they both toppled over. “Ow!”They scrambled around on the ground, whacking and pinching and pulling. Severus was absolutely possessed with rage. Lily got onto her knees and tried to crawl away but he grabbed her ankle and yanked. She landed back on the ground with a yelp.Suddenly he flew through the air, slamming into the wall behind him with such force he saw stars. He crumpled to the floor, and everything went black. “Sev, sev!” Lily was shrieking his name. “We need to get him to the hospital wing.”“I didn’t mean to, I didn’t mean to,” Lily said through sobs. “Come on, help me here.” Severus felt himself lifted and was then supported awkwardly between his two friends. They left the room, navigating the twists, turns, and staircases—Lily crying openly the entire time. What had happened? They’d been arguing. Lily had been furious. He had been just as angry. His brain was foggy. Had he tackled Lily, had he seriously hurt her? Finally they reached the hospital ward. “Madam Pomfrey!” cried Lily. A blur and hurried footsteps came rushing toward him. “What has happened?” Madam Pomfrey asked. Severus felt himself become weightless and float over to a bed, where he was gently set down. Lily was blubbering incoherently. Madam Pomfrey was shining a bright light into his eyes. He tried to look away, it hurt. “Concussion,” she said. She bustled away, returning quickly with a bottle. She poured some potion into a small glass, then tilted it to his lips. The potion was bitter; he spluttered but gulped it down. Severus felt himself become a little less foggy. Madam Pomfrey waved her wand at him and a bright colorful display appeared above his body. “Fractured skull!” She turned away. “Tell me again what happened.”This time Regulus spoke. “We were practicing spells—the knockback jinx—and I cast it too strong. Severus flew into a wall, and well, he was unconscious for a moment.” “You’re telling me this happened while you were practicing spellwork for lessons?” “Yes ma’am.”“Regulus, you need to be more careful. Severus is lucky he didn’t suffer permanent brain damage. That must have been some spellwork.” Lily’s crying had subsided to soft sobs. Regulus muttered his understanding and Madam Pomfrey went to retrieve another potion. “He’ll need some skele-gro, and plenty of rest. You can return to your dormitories, I’ll take care of him.” She was measuring out skele-gro into a silver spoon. “Please, Madam Pomfrey, if it isn’t too much trouble, can I stay with him. I feel terrible. He’s my best friend.”Madam Pomfrey gave Regulus an appraising look, but nodded once. “Miss Evans, you seem to be regaining your composure. You may return to Gryffindor tower.” “I’d like to stay too,” Lily said. “One visitor is already one too many. To bed, Miss Evans.” Lily bent over him and whispered, “I’m so sorry, Sev.” Then she rushed out of the infirmary. “Take this,” Madam Pomfrey held up the silver spoon, and Severus opened his mouth. This potion tasted even worse. It burned, and he coughed vigorously after he swallowed. “Now rest. I’ll be back to check on you.”Regulus pulled a chair up to the bedside. “What happened?” Severus coughed again once Madam Pomfrey had disappeared from sight. “Blimey, Sev, what were you thinking?” Regulus’ eyes were wide, and panicked. “I . . . what happened? Did I hurt her?”Regulus nodded. “First you two were yelling at each other, but then she pushed you and you pushed her back and then you sort of tackled her to the ground. And you were wrestling around, hitting each other, and —”“Stop,” Severus insisted. His head was throbbing. It felt like someone had taken a hammer to his skull. “What did she do?”“She must have used the knockback jinx. Suddenly you went flying and slammed into the wall. That’s it. Nothing else.”“Merlin, she’s powerful, isn’t she?” Severus rubbed his temples lightly. “Why did you have to go at each other like that?” Regulus sounded close to tears himself. “It just happens sometimes. I mean, not like that. We just, we get under each other’s skin.” Between the throbbing pulses pounding in his brain, Severus was beginning to comprehend the role he’d played in their confrontation. He’d knocked Lily to the ground. He’d tried to hurt her, probably had to some degree. It was unforgivable. Absolutely unforgivable. After a few minutes of silence between the Slytherins Severus said, “We didn’t even celebrate your birthday.” He looked up at the ceiling. “I’m really sorry.”Regulus waved him off. “Birthdays have never been a cause for celebration in my family. I’m used to it.”Severus didn’t say anything more. He closed his eyes and thought morosely—embarrassedly—about what he’d done. How he’d let down both his best friends and maybe even lost the one thing he never wanted to lose. His father’s drunk yells echoed through his mind and Severus’ stomach knotted so tight he thought it might never untwist. At least Lily had no reserves about using magic to fight back.
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Chapter XIV
The Prince's Pact
In the next month, life at Hogwarts hit an all time low. The fight between Severus and Lily coincidentally kicked off a series of events which likely would have perpetuated regardless but—in light of a frayed relationship with his best friend—had an unusually harrowing impact.Severus was furious with himself. He was also slightly enraged with Lily for having made such a big deal over the little cuts on his cheeks. As a result, he acted resentful toward her. So much so, Lily asked Regulus to trade seats with her in Potions. This meant Regulus and Severus were now sharing a workstation and Lily and Calista were seated together. If Professor Slughorn even noticed he didn’t make a comment on the shift. Someone who did notice: James Bloody Potter. And he was none too pleased about the re-arrangement. Potter and Black must have taken Lily’s avoidance of Severus as permission to reignite the rivalry between them because Severus soon found himself the unwilling victim of many annoying magical attacks. For an entire week, anytime Severus sat down to eat in the great hall his shoe laces would mysteriously tie themselves together in a tangled knot which took him ages to undo. Upon arriving to the greenhouses, Severus was pelted with partially skinned shrivelfigs, which oozed sticky purple liquid all over his robes. Where it touched his skin, it left a dark purple stain—like a large bruise. Many people assumed Severus had recently been handily beaten up. His bag split three times in the corridors. The back of his robes flew up over his head, entangling him badly enough some of the Slytherin girls took pity on him and helped disentangle him. And in the last week of February, Severus emerged from the shower to find his normally dark hair had turned half red, half gold. He was not the sole recipient of this affliction, as the rest of his housemates who used the same school provided hair products were also sporting Gryffindor hair for an entire day. And he knew who was responsible for all of it. How Black and Potter had time to manage so many pranks in such a short time was the only mystery. Perhaps they had recruited more minions to their cause. Or perhaps they just didn’t sleep. However they were managing it, his suspicions of the guilty party were confirmed as he heard Potter say rather loudly to his mates, “At least we know he washes his hair.” Severus pulled his chunky hat farther down over his red and gold hair in response. Lily remained completely neutral while all this antagonism unfolded. She essentially ignored Severus in the one lesson they shared. And she didn’t seek out meetings with him. She stopped showing up to their wielding practice sessions; which left Regulus to work alone, while Severus either acted as practice dummy or spell extinguisher. Severus missed Lily terribly. They had both said horrible things to each other in the Room of Requirement, and they had both lashed out physically. Severus didn’t expect Lily to forgive him. He didn’t blame her at all for what had transpired. She had essentially been acting in self-defense. But he still wished he could go back in time and handle the whole situation differently. Severus knew he had a violent side. It was buried deep, but it was there. His father was all the proof he needed to confirm its existence. And now, he had proof of his own.With little else to distract him—beside all the annoying pranks—Severus threw himself into his studies and his extracurricular work. In Charms, he mastered shrinking and engorging charms faster than any other Slytherin second year. Professor Flitwick awarded Slytherin twenty points for his dedication. Professor McGonagall nearly smiled at him when he produced a three foot essay on the nuances between object to animal versus animal to object transfiguration. She had only required two feet. Professor Sinistra engaged him in a lengthy conversation regarding the constellation Orion after he correctly named all the stars for the class. This was unwelcome as it reminded Severus of the Black family which included one of his arch nemesis’. After her fiasco of a ‘practical lesson’ at the beginning of February, Bellatrix reverted to merely teaching the attendees of her club various spells they weren’t likely to learn in lessons but would serve them well if they were ever to duel. She kept hinting to Severus he should begin the process of declaring Dark, but Severus didn’t think he was in the right headspace to make the choice. Since they had found themselves alone in the Room of Requirement so often as of late, Severus finally pressed Regulus about his refusal to practice Bellatrix’s spells and instead work on muggle knife handling. “I think the muggles have a lot to teach us about war,” Regulus said. “Hand to hand combat shouldn’t be overlooked. You never know when it might come in handy. I mean look at what you did to Bellatrix using your actual head.” Regulus chuckled a bit. “Besides, I don’t want her to know anything about my magic. She’s already been inside my head way too much. I’m just glad she isn’t pressing the matter. I have six more years to master spellwork and an ample Dark Arts library of my own.”In addition to all the extra effort he was putting toward his magical education, Severus took up reading the Daily Prophet at breakfast. He couldn’t afford a subscription, but would instead ask an older student if he could read their paper when they were finished with it. In this way, Severus learned that since the large attack by an anonymous group in Manchester last year, there had been several more—less publicized—muggle attacks. The one common thread through each attack was that many of the victims were missing from the scene of destruction, which was always some catastrophic explosion. The explosion was supposedly to blame for essentially vaporizing all the bodies, but it seemed Severus was not the only person who found this an unsatisfactory explanation. Word of the Dark Lord’s actual movements and agenda were never directly stated in the Prophet. Only the uptick in muggle related violence and an increase in odd wizarding behavior which no one could conclusively connect to a single source were suspicious. All Severus’ news of the Dark Lord came directly from Bellatrix. And it was vague at best. “The Dark Lord expects to make a public appearance sometime in the next few years.”“The Dark Lord will have the army he needs soon.”“The Dark Lord is gaining financial support from the magical community.”Severus thought of the Dark Lord as this invisible enigma who was milking an intimidating reputation for all it was worth. So far he had no evidence the man was going to ever actually begin a war and coincidentally no idea how likely he was to win said war. Severus felt like there was much speculation with very little proof. And he wanted proof before he decided which side to align with. In the middle of March, Severus overheard Lily talking to Calista about Defense Against the Dark Arts during their Potions lesson. “And wasn’t that lesson about Banshees fascinating?” whispered Lily. Severus was surprised to hear Lily talking at all during Potions, but then he realized she was in the simmer stage of her potion brewing and literally had nothing else to do. “Professor Saaverda knows so much about Dark creatures. Did she tell your class she worked for the Department and Control for Magical Creatures when she was first out of school? She told us she didn’t like the politics of the Ministry though,” said Calista. “Yes, she did mention that. She said she left after her superior gave a promotion to a pureblood wizard who was only in his second year of the job, whereas she had been there five years, but is a half-blood. By the way, you need to add another scoop of beetle eyes to your potion.” “Oh, thanks.” Calista poured a second measure of beetle eyes into her cauldron. Severus agreed with the girls’ assessment of Professor Saaverda. They had now spent over three months on Dark creatures with no end in sight. Professor Saaverda had brought a number of small Dark creatures into class for some hands-on practice in handling them: doxies, pixies, imps, and even the relatively placid garden gnome. She had also relocated the castle ghoul into her store closet. He would bang away in there when things got too quiet out in the classroom. Saaverda claimed they still had plenty of work to do studying vampires, yetis, trolls, and werewolves. “I want to learn about vampires,” Calista said to Lily. Lily nodded. “Do you think Professor Saaverda knows any vampires personally? It would be cool if she brought one to class—I mean invited one . . .”“As long as she doesn’t try to get a troll into the classroom. Trolls are supposed to be really stupid. And disgusting.”“But vampires—they can be rather handsome, can’t they,” asked Lily. Calsita giggled. Severus couldn’t help himself. “Vampires are dangerous, Lily.”Lily and Calista both looked at him with bemused expressions. “Did you hear something, Calista?”“Nope, maybe someone’s cauldron is acting up again.”Severus huffed out a sigh. “I know you can hear me. Vampires are Dark creatures, even if they have human intelligence. And they aren’t granted wands are they? Professor Saaverda wouldn’t bring a creature that dangerous to a school, the Headmaster would never allow it.”“Be quiet, Snivellus,” Lily said, glaring at him maliciously. That was a low blow. It must have shown on his face, because Lily’s expression softened considerably before she dropped her eyes. Severus turned back to his simmering potion. Regulus leaned over and whispered, “Have you thought about apologizing?”“She doesn’t want to hear it,” Severus whispered back. “I think she misses you.”“No way, she has tons of other friends. She doesn’t need me anymore.”“Let’s wager on it.”“What, like a bet?”“You apologize and tell Lily you’d like for her to return to our practice sessions. If she comes back, you give me five galleons. If she doesn’t, I give you five galleons.”“Only I haven’t got five galleons,” whispered Severus. “How about a book, any book you choose. And I’ll give it to you just for asking her.”Severus thought this over. Regulus had a lot of Dark Arts books he would like to get his hands on. He could ask to borrow any of them, but to have one of his own was far more intriguing. Plus it seemed like the only thing on the line was his pride. He could swallow his pride, for Lily. “Fine. I’ll ask her after the lesson.”His heart was pounding furiously as the lesson drew to a close. Lily hastily packed her things, clearly keen to vacate the classroom as quickly as possible. “Lily,” he said loud enough she couldn’t pretend to have not heard. She looked up at him. “What?”Severus was all too aware that both Black and Potter had also paused and were watching their exchange closely, so he switched to whispered Spanish. “I’m sorry. I want you to come back.” Lily stared at him in an expressionless manner. “We both said terrible things. I didn’t mean any of it.” She continued to stand there, just looking at him. “And I never should have touched you. I cannot forgive myself for that.” Lily’s face finally softened as she let out a long sigh. “Let’s talk about it on Thursday.” Severus thought his heart might have stopped beating. He nodded as Lily left the room without a backward glance. He’d done it! She was coming back. “Guess I owe you a book,” Regulus said quietly, elbowing Severus in the ribs. Severus gave him a tiny smile. That evening Severus studied the covers of Regulus’ many books. He couldn’t read any of the books written in French, and there were more than one in this category. But he did find one called Blood Magic: Rites, Rituals, Sacraments, and Sacrifices which caught his interest. “How about this one?” He held up the book. Regulus nodded. “That book is still in print. I can pick up a new copy in Knockturn Alley. Take it, that copy is yours.”Severus said his thanks and returned to his own room, pulling his bed hangings closed and cracking open the book. Inside the cover in an elegant neat hand was written Property of Regulus Arcturus Black. Severus had seen this inscription on the inside cover of all Regulus’ books. Regulus sure liked to make ownership of his possessions known. Severus—who had a worn collection of used and hand-me-down spellbooks—hadn’t been the original owner of several of his books. His mother had written her name in her old spellbooks however: Eileen Prince. Severus wished his last name was Prince—like his mother’s had been—but she had taken his abusive father’s name: Snape. And thus they both bore his surname. Why did he have to be related to such a piece of shite? He’d do anything to distance himself from that awful muggle. Plus Prince was a much cooler last name. Like he was a member of the royal family, not that wizards had royals. If they did, Regulus would be the quintessential prince. He practically was one, certainly within the Sacred Twenty-Eight. Severus looked at Regulus’ inscription, then whipped out his own quill and inkpot. He carefully unscrewed the lid and dipped the quill into the ink. Mindful to not drip any on his bedding, he very carefully ran the quill through the Regulus’ inscription once, then below it he wrote in his cramped script: This Book is the Property of the Half-Blood Prince. It was his mother’s name, her magic ran in his veins. She was the source of his better half, no doubt about it. He looked at the words drying on the page, and smiled again. Maybe he was a Prince after all. Severus and Regulus, the Prince’s of Slytherin house. He liked the sound of it. With his wand tip alight, Severus settled back into his pillows and began to read. Come Thursday, Severus’ stomach was in knots. He hadn’t been able to eat any breakfast, instead only sipping his usual morning coffee. He was the only person he knew below fifth year who drank coffee. Staying true to her Spanish roots, his mamá only kept coffee in their house; not tea as was the British custom. He managed to nibble a bread roll at both lunch and dinner. “You feeling a bit peaky, Severus?” Lester asked.“Yeah, upset stomach.”The other boys shrugged and continued eating. Severus tore little pieces of bread off his roll and ran through worst case scenarios in his mind for what Lily was going to say to him later. As they made their way to the Room of Requirement, Regulus kept gently bumping his arm into Severus’. “It’s going to be okay,” whispered Regulus. Severus, who was feeling clammy, nodded. He didn’t tell Regulus off for invading his personal space and bumping him. He knew the younger boy was trying to comfort him. When they arrived, the door was already visible. Which meant Lily was waiting inside. Severus took a deep breath and pushed the door open. Lily was sitting on a cushion, leaning back against the far wall. She stood and gave him a strained smile. “Hiya.”“Hola.”“Hey Lily, it’s really good to see you. I’ve missed you.” Regulus strode past Severus, who had paused not far inside the door, and wrapped his arms around Lily.“I’m sorry Reg, I just . . . needed some space.” Regulus nodded as Lily released him. “So . . .” She looked directly at him.He lost himself in her green eyes for a moment, even from so far across the room. She beckoned him to join her, which he did. All three of them pulled up cushions to face each other. There was an awkward silence where no one really looked at each other, but also didn’t exactly look away. Then Lily and Severus said at the same time, “I’m sorry.”“No, I’m sorry,” Lily pressed. “I nearly killed you. It was terrifying.”“I deserved it.”Lily shook her head. “It was so scary. I didn’t know my magic could come out that strong.”“I was hurting you, you reacted on instinct.”“I won’t let it happen again.” She looked at him seriously. “I’m the one you should be chastising. I can’t believe what I did. I’d rather forget it, if we’re honest, but I can’t. I will never forget it.”“I pushed you first. I wasn’t my best self either.”“But I took it too far. I —” He suddenly felt tears burning in his eyes. He jammed the heels of his hands into them, to stem the flow. “I’m a terrible, terrible person. You were right about me. I am interested in the Dark Arts. I hurt you. You should leave me alone.”“Sev,” Lily finally said, “I don’t agree with the Dark Arts. But I also can’t stop you from making your own choices. I’ve thought a lot about it this past month, and whoever you are, you were that person when we met.“We’ve been best friends through getting sorted into different houses, and through having those houses generally hate each other. I . . . I think I can stay your friend. As long as you don’t become a different person.”Severus dropped his hands and looked at her with red rimmed eyes. “I don’t want to use Dark magic to hurt people, Lily. I don’t want to hurt people at all. But the Dark Arts, they can be used defensively . . .” Lily looked concerned. “There’s so much you don’t know about it. The Dark is not evil.”She scrunched up her nose. “I just . . . look, it was hard enough last year. None of my Gryffindor friends understood why I kept hanging around with you. And even though they don’t talk about you much anymore, because we have sort of taken our relationship underground, I just . . . ugh, I don’t want them to be right.”She looked at him with huge, pleading green eyes. “The prejudices they hold against you, simply for being a Slytherin . . . I’ve defended you. I’ve told them you’re different. That I know the real you. Don’t make me look like a fool.” She reached out and grabbed his hand. Lily’s hand was warm, whereas his was cold and sweaty.“I . . .” but Severus paused. He didn’t want to lie to Lily, he also didn’t want to make promises he couldn’t keep. So he chose his next words with great care. “The person you know, Lily, that person will always exist.” Lily chewed her cheek, then nodded slowly. “I can live with that. But I don’t ever want us to fight like that again, do you understand? Never.”Severus nodded. “I know.”“Let’s make a promise.” It had been a long time since Lily had initiated one of her muggle pacts. She looked at him expectantly. “Let’s do one better,” Severus said softly. He reached into his book bag and withdrew Blood Magic: Rites, Rituals, Sacraments, and Sacrifices. “Let’s make a blood pact.” Regulus let out a little gasp. Lily narrowed her eyes at him. “What’s a blood pact? If it’s Dark magic . . .”“It’s not, not really anyway. It’s just a binding promise. A way to ensure neither of us breaks our word.”“What happens if you do?”“You can’t.”“Why not?” “Because if you try to, the pact stops you. It overrides your free will.”“That sounds . . . dangerous.”“I don’t ever want to hurt you like that again. This will ensure it. This will keep me from hurting you. Please, Lily, please, do this for me. I need to know I’m not going to be the one who hurts you, never again.” Severus spoke the words in a rush, a bit breathless in his eagerness to convince Lily to make the pact. “Please, I want to protect you.”Regulus looked like he was going to speak, but Severus shot him his nastiest look and Regulus kept his mouth shut. Lily took a deep breath. “Alright. I’ll do it. What do we do? What’s our pact?”Severus was relieved; he flipped open the book to the page on blood oaths. “The wording is very important,” he said. “We need to be sure we say exactly the same thing. Exactly what we want to pact to seal into place. We cut our hands and mix our blood. Then say the words. Blood magic takes care of the rest. Though we can’t heal our hands; we have to let the wounds heal naturally.”Lily nodded slowly. “Not that we know how to heal a cut anyway,” she mumbled. “What are the words?”Severus—who had put a lot of thought into this in the days leading up to their meeting—said, “I swear to never raise my hand or wand against you in violence.” He wondered if Lily would notice he had left her free to use wandless magic against him. At first he had thought the pact could be something like, ‘I swear to never hurt you.’ But according to the book, the less specific the words, the more room for interpretation within the pact there was. Therefore, ‘never hurt you’ could be activated by innocent everyday acts which accidentally cause harm. At a school where they practiced magic—which could have very unexpected results at times—this didn’t seem like a smart pact. Lily repeated the words slowly to herself. “Okay, I like it.” Then she actually smiled. “So what now?”Severus looked at Regulus. “Do you happen to have a dagger?”“Cripes, Sev!” Lily looked at Regulus as well. “Why would you have a dagger?”“What? We need to cut our hands,” Severus said, annoyed. Regulus gave them both a shifty look, then reached into his book bag and produced a small silver dagger. He held it out, then pulled it back. “For the record, I think this is a bit extreme.”“Oh hush, Regulus,” Lily said. Severus took the offered dagger. Then he and Lily scooted so their knees were touching as they sat on their shins. “Hold out your hand.”Severus’ heart was beating out of his chest as he took Lily’s warm hand in his. She was shaking slightly. He looked at her, then carefully drug the sharp point of the dagger across her palm. Immediately blood began to flow and pool in her hand. If it hurt, she didn’t let on. He flipped his left hand over and repeated the action on his own hand. Then he reached forward and gripped Lily’s bleeding hand with his. “I promise to never raise my hand or wand against you in violence.”“I promise to never raise my hand or wand against you in violence.”From their clenched hands, a small sphere of blood floated into the air and hung between them. It divided in half, but at that moment, Lily let out a loud yelp and broke her grasp on his hand, reaching for her right hip. Severus had shouted out as well. Something was wrong. Something bad was happening. His right hip was burning, like someone was holding a branding iron to his skin. His eyes watered with the pain and he couldn’t spare a thought for Lily or anything else. The burning sensation was spreading from his hip through his whole body. Then white tendrils of light appeared and wrapped themselves around him. He could hear Lily whimpering and gasping. The light stretched between them, entwining them both in its brilliance. He screwed up his eyes, from pain and from the bright light. But it faded. And as it did, the pain receded. Severus let out a loud gasp and slumped forward. His mind was coming back to him. It felt like warm water was spreading through his body. It was light and fluid, and so soft. What had happened? The book hadn’t mentioned anything about pain or bright light. “Ho-ly shite.” It was Regulus who spoke first. His mouth was gaping. Lily had tear streaks down her cheeks when she looked at him. “Sev? What happened?” Lily scrambled forward and threw her arms around him. He closed his eyes and breathed her in. He could feel her heart pounding in her chest, or was that his heart? Severus’ breathing slowed as he calmed, wrapped in Lily’s arms.“I don’t know.” He ran his hands up and down Lily’s back—no doubt staining her robes with blood—then into her hair, breathing into her ear. It felt like the most natural thing in the world. He never wanted her to move away.Regulus cleared his throat. Slowly Lily pulled back but it looked like it was costing her. She actually gave Regulus a rather frightening face. Severus took the opportunity to stand, and pulled his robes aside. All modesty forgotten as he tugged down the waistband of his pants to examine his right hip, the place where the pain had initiated from. There, etched onto his skin, was a perfectly round black ring. “¡Dios mío!”“What? What is it?” Lily said shrilly. “Look at this!” He turned to show her the mark. Regulus gasped out loud and clapped his hands over his mouth. “What!” Lily was practically yelling. “Check your hip, do you have one too?”Lily stood and sure enough, she also had a perfect circle in the exact same location. “What is it?” she said. “It’s . . . no I don’t believe it. It isn’t possible.” Both Lily and Severus glared at Regulus who was shaking his head in disbelief. “Spit it out!” Severus said. “Yes, spit it out, Regulus,” Lily echoed in an equally nasty voice. Severus glanced at her. “It’s a soul bond.”“I’ve never heard of that,” said Lily, tossing her head and straightening her robes. “Of course you haven’t,” Regulus insisted. “It’s supposed to be really rare, like impossibly rare.”“Well, how do you know about it then?” Severus said aggressively. Regulus scooted back a bit as Severus and Lily were now both standing over him, matching expressions of rage and annoyance on their faces. “Look, I just know.”“Well, I don’t believe you. I say we go to Madam Pomfrey and she’ll put us right. Come on,” Lily said. She grabbed Severus’ arm and spun them toward the exit. Severus didn’t spare Regulus a backwards glance as Lily marched them from the room.
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Chapter XV
Brands and Bonds
It took Severus the entire walk to the hospital ward to remember their blood pact. What happened to the phials the oath was supposed to generate? He hoped Regulus had the mind to collect them and not leave them in the room. They were rather important. “Madam Pomfrey!” Lily called when they entered the ward. The matron came bustling out from her office. All the beds were mercifully vacant, Severus didn’t want an audience. “What’s wrong?” Madam Pomfrey eyed them skeptically. “You two hardly look unwell.”“We are though,” insisted Lily. She finally let go of Severus and he wished she would come take his arm again. Lily shrugged out of her robe completely, then undid the zipper of her trousers.“Miss Evans, what do you think you’re doing?” Madam Pomfrey said as Lily tugged her trousers down. The sight of Lily standing with her trousers around her knees should have made Severus crimson and splutter in shock or embarrassment. Instead, he watched placidly as Lily drew down the side of her underpants and turned so Madam Pomfrey could see the black ring adorning her freckled skin. Madam Pomfrey narrowed her eyes at the mark. “I see, and I assume this mark has recently appeared? May I touch it?”“Yes, and yes,” Lily said. “Severus has one too.”Severus gave her a withering look, but a thrill had passed through his body when she’d spoken his name. “Let me see, Mister Snape.” Severus pulled aside his robes and wiggled down the waist of his pants. He stuck his tongue out at Lily as Madam Pomfrey prodded his mark. Lily stuck her tongue right back out at him. “Can you remove them, Madam Pomfrey?” Lily asked, pulling her trousers back up. “I’m sorry, my dears, but we’re going to see the Headmaster.”Lily and Severus both blanched. “Are we in trouble!” “No. But I can’t help you with this . . . affliction. Come.”Madam Pomfrey led them swiftly from the room, Severus and Lily hustling along in her wake. When they reached the stone gargoyle which flanked the entrance to the Headmaster’s office, Madam Pompfey gave the password, “Liquorice wands.” The wall opened to reveal a spiral staircase, which all three of them stepped onto as it slowly ascended. At the top, there was a wooden door with a brass knocker; Madam Pomfrey raised this and tapped several times. The door swung open of its own accord. “Hello, Madam Pomfrey,” Professor Dumbledore was striding toward them. “What can I do for you this evening?”“Headmaster, Lily and Severus have each received a spontaneous magical tattoo.”Severus had never, ever seen Professor Dumbledore look surprised. But the Headmaster’s eyebrows shot up instantly and he looked intently at the children. “Is this so, what is it? Where is it?”Lily spoke up. “It’s a circle on our right hips.”Dumbledore visibly collected himself, rearranging his features into a warmly puzzled expression. But Severus knew; he knew something was going on and the Headmaster was struggling to keep his calm. “Madam Pomfrey, you’ve seen these marks?” Madam Pomfrey merely nodded. “I ask for your utmost discretion.”“Of course, Headmaster. May I leave the children in your care, I’d like to return to the ward.”“Certainly, thank you.” The adults exchanged a long, significant look. Then Madam Pomfrey nodded and left, closing the door behind her. “Come sit,” Professor Dumbledore motioned to the seats in front of his desk, but he raised his wand as they walked and the chairs rearranged themselves so they were facing each other, rather than the desk. Dumbledore settled himself into one, while Severus and Lily each selected their own seat. “May I ask what you two were doing earlier this evening?” See, Severus thought, he knows something. “We were apologizing,” Lily said, she spoke quickly as if buzzing with energy. “It’s a long story really. Sev and I got in a fight a while back, it was silly. But we were really mad at each other. Then sort of ignored each other for a while.” “Indeed,” Dumbledore contributed. “These things can happen.”“Yes, but we finally felt enough was enough, so we reconciled. We didn’t want such a terrible fight to happen again, so Severus —” Severus let out a gasp or was it a hiss, he wasn’t quite sure. “Severus suggested we make a blood pact.”Professor Dumbledore made no indication he understood the term. He gazed at them with bright blue eyes behind half-moon spectacles.“Do you know —” Lily continued, and Dumbledore interrupted her. “Yes, Miss Evans, I do know what a blood oath is.”Lily plowed on. “Well we made the pact, then we both felt this terrible pain and weird things started happening. There were white tendrils of light wrapping around us. After a while everything went back to normal, but we had these marks where the pain had been sharpest. And that’s . . . what happened.”Severus felt Dumbledore was trying to bore into his mind with his eyes, but it was not like when Bellatrix intruded, all force and muscle. Dumbledore’s approach was gentle and probing. Severus still felt his inner walls slam up, blocking the man out. He averted his eyes. No one was getting into his head.
I am not here. I am nothing. I do not exist.
The Headmaster gave Severus a very calculating look, but he didn’t say anything. Several moments of silence had now stretched between them, and Lily said timidly, “Can you tell us what’s going on, Professor?”Dumbledore looked at her mildly. “Where are your oath phials?”Severus finally found his voice. “We left them where we were. The pain and what not, it made us sort of forget about them.”“Are they safe?”“Well I bet —” Lily began. But Severus loudly interrupted her. “Yes, they’re fine. We’ll get them later.”Then he gave Lily a significant look and she pursed her lips. Dumbledore was now staring intently at Lily, and Severus realized whatever the Headmaster had done to his mind, he was likely now doing to Lily. He didn’t want Dumbledore to find out Regulus had been involved, even if he was only a witness. But he also didn’t see what he could say to Lily without giving himself away. After several more seconds of silence, Dumbledore clasped his hands in front of him and said, “What were the terms of your blood pact and where did two children such as yourselves learn how to perform one?”They exchanged wary looks. “We promised to never raise a hand or wand against each other in violence,” Lily said. “And we learned it out of —”“A book,” Severus finished vaguely.“A book, very well. I regret to be the bearer of unpleasant news, but the two of you have soul bonded.”“That’s what —”“What do you mean, Professor?” Severus practically shouted. Dumbledore eyed him with a bit of alarm, but it faded quickly to empathy. “Soul bonding is exceptionally rare. It’s ancient magic. When two soulmates find each other and their blood comingles, it initiates the lasting bond.” “Oh,” Lily whispered. “Sev and I are soulmates?”Dumbledore nodded. Severus glanced at Lily who was staring right back at him. As he looked at her, a wonderful feeling washed over him, home, safe, love. She was his soulmate. His. His. His. Finally Dumbledore cleared his throat. Both children jumped slightly and broke their stare to look at the old man sitting with them. “Lily, Severus, I can hardly begin to explain what this means for the two of you. But what I can tell you is you must never, ever reveal your bond to anyone. Do you understand?”Severus nodded, and Lily opened her mouth, “But what about —”“We understand, Professor.” Then Severus thought it best to change the subject, fast. “What does this soul bond do?”Dumbledore shrugged his shoulders and shook his head slightly before saying, “It binds your souls together, for eternity.”“Eternity,” whispered Lily. At least she wasn’t thinking of Regulus anymore. “Eternity is a long time,” Severus looked at Lily again. She gave him a small smile. “Indeed,” Dumbledore inclined his head. “May I ask you both, do you feel anything? Different from before the bond took place?”“It makes us feel something?” asked Lily. “What I mean is”—Dumbledore took a slow breath—“what do you feel when you look at each other?”“Home.” Severus said the word without hesitation. “Home,” Lily repeated. “I feel good, I feel like I found something really important to me, something I hadn’t realized I had been missing.” Lily said this while looking right at him. Then she looked at Dumbledore. “You know, Professor? Like when you find your favorite sock, and you hadn’t even realized it was missing, because you’d been picking different socks to wear. But finding it means you can wear your favorite pair again! And you never had to worry it was gone. You simply didn’t notice.”Severus nodded along with Lily’s description. “Except this feels way better than finding an old sock!” “I understand what you mean, Miss Evans.”“You do, are you bonded too?”To Severus’ complete shock, Dumbledore nodded. “I am.”“You are!” Lily said in wonder. Then she looked around the room, perhaps anticipating a person to emerge from a shadowy corner. Severus kept his eyes on Dumbledore, whose knuckles had turned white. “Oh dear, I seem to have completely forgotten . . .” And Dumbledore grabbed his wand, flicking it twice at Severus’ hand and then twice at Lily’s. Severus looked down at his clean and bandaged hand. “Where are they, the person you are bonded to?”“They are not here.” Dumbledore looked a bit strained. “Where’s your mark?” pressed Lily. “On my left shoulder.”“Can we see it?”Dumbledore nodded, then shrugged out of his long robes, under which he wore trousers and a simple, long sleeve button up shirt. Severus had never seen any of his teachers without full length robes on before. Professor Dumbledore looked impossibly tall and thin without the wrapping of celestial billowing fabric. He unbuttoned a few buttons at the collar of his shirt and pulled the fabric to the side to reveal a perfect circle, etched on his left shoulder. Lily looked at it with curiosity but didn’t seem to have anything else to say. “Soul bonds are very mysterious magic. Not much is known about them. I know of one other couple who are bonded, but that’s it. I won’t pretend to be an expert for you to consult. But the bond is going to impact your lives—in more ways than one. You may find yourselves very happy in each other’s company, and feeling slightly empty when you are apart. The bond can bring on very intense emotions.“Your soul has split and reformed with a piece of another’s soul intact. The other person can feel a bit like an extension of yourself. And you typically have a strong attraction to them.”Severus frowned slightly. “Like a crush?”“Perhaps, but every pair is different.”“Does it mean we’ll get married when we grow up?”“Not necessarily. You may choose to get married, or you may not.”“And will people be able to tell, just by looking at us I mean, that we’re bonded?” asked Lily. “No. It’s your secret to protect. And as I said before, guard it. I must also ask you to not mention to anyone the fact I’m also bonded. You are both part of a very small group of people who share a sacred secret. You must act responsibly for the sake of all. Keep your marks hidden. You are lucky they’re in such an obscure location on your body.”“You mean it’s a good thing they aren’t plastered to the middle of our foreheads,” Lily said lightly. “Exactly.”The silver instruments ticked, tinkled, and whirled around the room, but no one spoke.“It’s getting late, your curfew is past. Do you feel comfortable going to your dorms and getting some rest? Surely this has been a draining ordeal?”Severus nodded, as did Lily. “Then I will bid you goodnight.” “Goodnight, Professor,” said Lily. “Goodnight, sir.”Severus and Lily walked together to the door and as they stepped onto the spiral staircase, which was now descending, Lily thread her arm through his again. She rested her head on his shoulder. Severus leaned his head against hers, home. When Severus returned to his dorm room, he found the room dark and all the bed curtains drawn, even those on his own bed—which was peculiar. But as he pulled back the hangings to climb into bed, there was a pale face blinking up at him. “Hey,” Regulus whispered. He scooted over and made space for Severus to crawl under the covers. It felt a bit odd, but in light of everything which had happened sliding into a warm bed was actually quite welcome. “Silentium Maxima. Did you find our blood pact phials?” “Yeah, I have them. I didn’t want to leave them lying around.”“Thanks.” Severus felt Regulus nod against the pillow in the dark. “What did Madam Pomfrey say?”“She took us to the Headmaster. And,” Severus said, “you were right. We soul bonded.”Even though Dumbledore had implored them to keep this information to themselves, Regulus had been the first of them to recognize what had happened. Severus didn’t see the point in trying to convince him some other magical phenomena had occurred. “Severus, that’s crazy. It’s really, really rare. I would have never thought it possible.”“How do you know about it anyway?” “Remember the notebook I showed you a while back? The Soul magic notebook?” But Regulus didn’t wait for him to reply. “It’s in there. About half the pages are about soul bonds specifically. Not that there is very much and it’s all handwritten notes.”“I remember,” said Severus. “It’s written in French right?”“Yeah. According to the notes, bonding happens when the blood of two soulmates touches. It binds them and marks them. There are a bunch of other notes about random stuff. Like the speculation bonded pairs share a patronus form, and what it feels like when they are together and apart.”“What’s a patronus?”“I don’t know, some kind of spell which produces a protective animal.”“Like a guard dog?”“I don’t know exactly. Look, it doesn’t matter. What’s worrisome is someone has written about how dangerous it is—soul bonding.”“Why is it dangerous?” “Because, if Lily dies, you will too.”“What!” Severus felt a surge of panic. “But Lily isn’t going to die, we’re kids.”“Not anytime soon. But someday. If she dies, it’s like half of yourself dies as well. And to continue living is apparently extreme agony. There are specific notes about a few different pairs of bonded couples in the notebook. Two people killed themselves after their partner died. The other pair, one of them lived for a few more years because they were part veela. The veela magic helped them endure the separation, but they ended up wasting away within three years.”“Oh.”They lay in silence, listening to the second year boys snore. “Dumbledore said to not tell anyone it happened. Lily almost clued him in that you already knew, but I think I kept him from finding out. So whatever you do, don’t say anything to anyone.”“Of course, I would never betray a friend. Do you think this is why the notebook came to me? Because you and Lily were always going to soul bond?”“I have no idea. Who could have ever predicted this? Can I have a look at the book?”“It’s in French.”“Right. Never mind.”“Maybe I should work on translating it . . . at least the parts about soul bonding.”“That would be great. I’d appreciate it.”Silence stretched between them. “I’m really tired.” Severus yawned.“Oh, right, I’ll go.” Regulus sounded rather dejected. “Does it really bother you so much? Sleeping alone.”“I’m just lonely.”“You have lots of friends. We’re friends. How are you lonely?”Regulus didn’t respond right away. “Ever since Sirius left for his first year, I’ve felt like this. Like there is a piece of myself missing. He abandoned me. I know he had to go to school—I was happy for him. But then things got hard and I drove him even further away. Nothing and no one has been able to fill the void he left.”Severus, who was far from a fan of the elder Black brother, reached out and patted Regulus a bit on the arm. “I’m sorry, Regulus. Do you, um, want to stay?”“Do you really mind?”“I suppose not, only for tonight.”“Okay. I miss Sirius.”“Right . . . you need to leave before anyone sees you in the morning.”“I know, I will. Thank you, Sev.”Severus closed his eyes, and quickly drifted off listening to Regulus’ even breathing. After the chaos of the evening, he had the most sound night of sleep he’d had in a long time.When Severus awoke the following morning, he was alone in bed with a terrible pit in his stomach. He felt his right hip, and sure enough the skin of the mark was still raised, he traced his fingers around the circle. Part of him wished the entire thing had been a very strange dream. But no, the mark was there. And the reality of what it meant came crashing down upon him. He and Lily were now joined, forever. And ever. And although he had secretly wished for a real claim over Lily since they became friends, now he had one he didn’t like the feeling it gave him. They held pieces of each other, but not because they chose each other. Only because some rare magic had transpired and locked them together. Just because Lily was his soulmate, it didn’t make Severus feel like he deserved her. In fact, now it felt like she was stuck with him completely against her will. Angry tears pricked behind his eyes as he grabbed his wand, casting another silencing charm before he completely broke down. Why couldn’t he ever get anything right with her? Lily was sure to hate him now. For being the reason she forever held a piece of him and he a piece of her. He had ruined her life. If it hadn’t been for the stupid blood pact . . . Severus was filled with another round of rage which he directed toward the Dark Arts in general. Lily was right, it was Dark magic which had gotten them into this mess. He wasn’t even a declared Dark wizard and was already creating problems for himself with Blood magic. No, he would not pursue the Dark Arts any further. In fact, maybe he should quietly withdraw from his social circle, finish his magical education modestly, and get some job as a shop assistant in Diagon Alley when he came of age. As tears streamed down his cheeks and sobs raked his throat, he hugged his knees. He’d never felt so alone. So worthless. Then Lily’s smiling face swam into the forefront of his mind. His Lily. He wanted to see her, had to see her right now! He hastily took some deep breaths and wiped his eyes and nose, heart pounding at the thought of seeing Lily. Severus knew his eyes were red and puffy, he didn’t care. He ripped back the curtains and scrambled out of bed, hurrying through his morning routine and dressing for the day. “What’s the rush?” Piers poked his head out of his four poster. “Just hungry.”“Oi! Are you okay, you don’t look so —”“I’m fine,” Severus snapped. “I didn’t sleep well, and I think . . . I think I may be coming down with a cold.”“Oh, well you should stop by the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey might have some pepper-up potion for you.”Severus nodded as he grabbed his book bag and practically ran from the room. He did actually run through the common room and up into the entrance hall. What time was it? Where was Lily?He checked the giant clock in the entrance hall and saw it was just past seven. Smells of breakfast were wafting out of the great hall, but the meal had only recently begun. Lily was likely not there yet. So Severus took the marble stairs two at a time as he rushed toward Gryffindor tower. He began seeing a trickle of Gryffindor students heading down for breakfast but everyone pointedly avoided him through the corridors. As he rounded the last corner and found himself looking down the long corridor at the portrait of the Fat Lady which guarded the entrance to the Gryffindor common room, the portrait swung forward and two boys emerged. Not now! Severus internally pleaded. Lupin and Black couldn’t miss him, the lone Slytherin at the end of the hall. However, there was nothing for it; he hadn’t come all this way to be turned back. The draw to see Lily was overpowering every other instinct he may have had. “Snivellus,” Black said with a sneer as they approached. “How thoroughly unpleasant seeing you first thing in the morning.”“Have you seen Lily?”“You think I would tell you if I had?”“We haven’t seen her,” Lupin said. “Then I’ll wait.” Severus moved to stand against the wall, giving Black and Lupin plenty of space to pass him. “What do you need to see Evans for so badly?” The boys were now right in front of him.“It’s private.”“You’re not winning any points with me, Snivellus. I don’t like the idea of a Slytherin waiting in this corridor to ambush someone.”“I’m not going to ambush anyone. I’m merely waiting here.”“Come on, Sirius.” Lupin started tugging at Black’s sleeve. “Lily can handle herself. And if anyone else gets hexed, we’ll know exactly who to come for.”Severus rolled his eyes. But the portrait hole had swung open again, and Lily herself climbed out the hole. “Lily!” Severus pushed past Black and Lupin, as he and Lily collided in the middle of the corridor, for she had evidently come running when she saw him. He wrapped her in a tight hug and felt her arms tight around him as well. “What the hell, Lily?” said Black. But his voice sounded very far away—wrapped around Lily, Severus’ mind was a placid sea. All the horrible thoughts he’d in bed that morning were swept away. This was exactly right, and he was exactly where he was supposed to be. “Come on, Sirius, let’s go.”Lupin succeeded in dragging Black away, but not without protests. “Can you believe her? We should go back, shouldn’t leave her with him. Thank Merlin James didn’t see.”“Shut up, Sirius. Lily isn’t your business.”“All Gryffindors consorting with Slytherins are my —”But they finally moved out of earshot. Severus and Lily were still standing in the middle of the corridor, embracing tightly. Finally, they broke apart. “Hey,” Lily said, her cheeks were red as she smiled at him. “Hola.”Then Lily seemed to get her wits back, because she quickly glanced around and then grabbed his hand. “Come on, La Sala.” She tugged him toward their hideout. A minute or so later, they slipped inside. “How are you?” Lily asked earnestly. “I’m . . . I’m great now!”“I know, me too. But really, I woke up this morning and felt absolutely terrible. I didn’t realize my bed could feel so lonely.”Severus nodded. “Yeah, I woke up feeling pretty awful as well.” He wasn’t going to mention he had blubbed for at least twenty minutes. Hopefully his eyes weren’t showing the signs anymore. “Sev, is it . . . I mean, is it the bond? I don’t normally wake up feeling so dejected.”“I don’t know, but I had to see you. No offense, but I don’t usually feel like I can hardly function before I see you.”Lily nodded this time. “Maybe it’ll wear off. It only happened yesterday, not even twenty-four hours ago. Maybe we’re feeling the bond extra strong right now.”“Yeah, could be.” “What are we going to do? We can’t go around school together; we’ve done such a good job this year of being discreet.”Severus didn’t know what to say. How was he going to go through his day if all he could think about was Lily, or the next time he would see Lily, or Lily’s strong heartbeat pressed against his chest, or . . .Lily said, “I know! This is going to sound silly, but my friends and I pass notes all the time. You and I can write each other a note and when we feel like we want to see the other person, we can pull out the note and read it.”“That’s a terrible idea.”“Shut up, it’s not. Do you have a better idea?”Severus shook his head. He knew it was unrealistic but for some reason he wished Lily had suggested they skive off all their lessons and spend the entire day holed up in this little nook, just being together. Lily was already rummaging in her book bag for quill and parchment. She tore two pieces off a scroll and got her quill ready. Then she hastily scribbled on the paper. “Here.” She passed him the quill and a parchment slip, while she waved her bit of parchment in the air to dry it. He looked at the blank scrap of paper. What was he supposed to write?But Lily was already fidgeting in anticipation. So he scribbled the first thing he could think of and flapped the paper a bit. She had already folded her slip—he did as well—then they exchanged the squares.“And let’s set a time to meet, I think that might help. Gives us something to look forward to.”“But it needs to be somewhere else, we can’t be coming down this way all the time, people will get suspicious,” said Severus. “The owlery, right after dinner, say seven?”Severus nodded enthusiastically. “Come on, I don’t want to be missed at breakfast.”They ducked out of the door. The corridor was deserted, as usual. So Lily threw her arms around him again. He was going to need to get used to this, and yet it also felt like the only thing they should be doing. Severus closed his eyes and breathed in Lily’s flowery scent. He tried to commit it to memory, maybe if he could remember it throughout the day, he wouldn’t miss her so much. Again, they hugged for a very long time, neither one of them seemed eager to pull away. But footsteps coming up the corridor made them jump apart. Had the air always been so cold in the hallways?Filch came into sight.“What are you two doing down here?”“Nothing,” they said in unison. And while Severus knew his voice may have betrayed some guilt, they really hadn’t been doing anything—certainly nothing against the rules. Unless you counted a Slytherin clinging to a Gryffindor for dear life as against the rules. “Find somewhere else to do nothing.”They shuffled together past Filch who gave them a suspicious sniff. “What was that about?” whispered Lily, as she grabbed his hand.Severus, feeling rather giddy with Lily holding his hand, snickered. “Who knows, Filch is a nutter. Probably sniffing for dungbombs or something.”Lily snorted. When they heard other voices Lily released his hand. Which immediately filled him with annoyance. Why did this castle have to be full of so many people? “See you later,” whispered Lily, before quickening her pace. Severus watched her back as she started to descend the staircase ahead of them. The voices of other students got louder, the closer to the entrance hall he got. Laughter ringing through the corridors.Had the students of Hogwarts always been so happy? And what was everyone laughing about? He didn’t feel upbeat in the slightest and shoved his hands into his pockets. He felt the bit of parchment and his heart skipped. Severus nearly tore the parchment in half in his eagerness to unfold it. Written in Lily’s handwriting were two words: te quiero. Severus nearly slipped down several steps of the staircase he had stopped on. He read the words ten times, then clutched the paper to his chest, as if it would somehow transform into his best friend—his soulmate—wrapping her arms around him. After a few moments, he carefully folded the slip and placed it back into his pocket. He wondered when Lily would open her note, and see what he had written for her. He granted himself a smile before composing his face as best he could amid the jarring roller coaster of emotions he was now riding. Breakfast was beckoning.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Chapter XVI
Stinky Revenge
The worst Potions lesson in Severus’ time at Hogwarts kicked off what would turn out to be a very turbulent couple of months. It was the Monday after Severus and Lily had bonded. Professor Slughorn set them the task of brewing a color changing concoction. Being in the same room as Lily, Severus was feeling quite cheerful. He minced pickled quail eggs and crushed snake fangs. His potion was giving off the sweet citrus scent the textbook described as marking the halfway stage. But elsewhere in the room things were not so serene. Crackles and pops began sounding from the back table where Lupin and Pettigrew sat. Severus looked around to see sparks flying out of Lupin’s cauldron. What began as a few quickly turned into a cascade. It was a small firework display. Lupin and Pettigrew were screaming and everyone hurriedly cleared out of the area. “Stand back all!” Professor Slughorn declared. He slowly approached the spitting cauldron and brandished his wand, but instead of the sparks vanishing, the whole thing exploded with an almighty BOOM! Those standing closest were knocked to the ground, several other cauldrons tipped over, and mayhem ensued. After what felt like at least ten minutes but was likely only thirty seconds Professor Slughorn regained control of the class. “Quiet!” he said. “Has anyone been splashed?”No one replied. “Right.” Slughorn looked at the several spilled cauldrons and vanished the ruined potion with a sweep of his wand. “Those of you whose potion was ruined, come to the front of the room.”Several Gryffindors moved forward: Lupin, Pettigrew, Black, Potter, and Macdonald. “Each of you partner up with someone who still has a potion for the rest of the lesson, not you Mister Lupin. I would like a private word.”Lupin hung his head. Now Severus really looked at him, he seemed ill. He was sweaty and had dark rings under his eyes. But he slouched after Slughorn into his office.Pettigrew, Potter and Macdonald all partnered up with the remaining Gryffindors. But Black went straight for Regulus. Here we go, thought Severus. Black was in a foul mood. “What can I do?” he snapped at Regulus. “I didn’t ask for your help.”“Yeah, well you have it. Whether you want it or not.”If Severus was a better friend, perhaps he would have offered to partner with Black to spare Regulus, but it was Black so . . . that wasn’t going to happen. Black picked up Regulus’ silver knife and started cutting into his liquorice roots. “Stop that!” cried Regulus. “You’re doing it wrong.”Black ignored him and kept chopping the roots. Regulus actually tried to wrestle the knife out of Black’s hands, the result being they backed into Severus, spilling his bowl of dried snapdragon petals.“Get off!” he shoved them back. Black now had the knife pointed at Regulus. “You think you’re so clever, bumping up a year. Think you are better at Potions than me.”“I am better at Potions than you! That’s why I’m here.” Most of the class was now watching the altercation take place. Severus whipped out his wand, and said, “Expelliarmus.” The silver knife flew out of Black’s hand and skidded across the dungeon floor. Black rounded on Severus, who—in all fairness—had hit him in the back with the spell. “Sirius, calm down,” said Lily, moving around her table to stand next to Regulus. Black looked likely to spit fire, but instead he raised his fist and punched Severus in the face. Severus reacted on instinct and lunged for him. They tumbled into the table, knocking over both Regulus and Severus’ potions. Black was yanking his hair while hitting him with his free hand. And Severus was reigning his fists down on any part of Black he could reach. People were yelling; many had moved for a better view. “Get him, Sirius!” cried Potter. “Severus, stop!” Lily shrieked. Then Severus and Black were both flung back, a well aimed shield charm spreading between them. “Boys!” hollered Professor Slughorn. “This behavior is most unsightly.”The shield had knocked over two more cauldrons. The floor of the dungeon was spotted with sticky potion in various shades of yellow. “Mister Black, Mister Snape, fighting in the middle of class, I ask you. Thirty points from Gryffindor and from Slytherin. And a detention each.”Severus was feeling his face, he suspected bruises were forming. Black had a split lip. Potter was flitting around him, making sure he was okay. Regulus was eyeing Black but otherwise was back to his usual expressionless self. Slughorn glanced at the clock which told they still had thirty minutes of class left. He waved his wand again and all the cauldrons emptied of their contents. “Everyone clean up. We’ll remake this potion next lesson. What a disgrace. You will all sit in silence for the remainder of the lesson. Anyone who talks will get a detention.”The Gryffindors were glaring at the Slytherins, and vice versa. “Now!” Slughorn’s voice made the jars on the shelves rattle. The students scuttled to put away their ingredients and tools. It was silent except for sounds of movement as the classroom was put back in order. Severus sat in his chair, feeling agitated. He kept throwing glances at Lily who merely looked bored. When the bell rang, Professor Slughorn called, “The older Mister Black and Mister Snape, to me.” The rest of the class filed out the door; though both Lily and Lupin hung back, whispering to each other. When the four of them were alone with Slughorn, he told Severus and Black they would serve their detention that evening with him, dissecting and sorting frog bits. “Yuck, I don’t know what will be worse, three hours with Snivellus or the slimy frog guts!” Black said to Lupin as they headed up the stairs. “It could be way worse. If it had happened in McGonagall’s lesson she would have taken a hundred points and given you a week’s worth of detentions, that is if she didn’t just chuck you both out.” “What’s Black in such a foul mood about anyway?” Severus whispered to Lily. He knew they were both at fault for what had transpired, but Black had definitely started it. And Severus thought he had been grumpy recently. At least he hadn’t resorted to physically assaulting his peers. The one which had just occurred was self-defense. It didn’t count.“How should I know, why didn’t Slughorn send you to the hospital wing? You have some bruises.” Lily reached out and brushed his cheek. “Doesn’t matter,” Severus grabbed her hand and held tight for a moment before Lily had to ascend the stairs. When he let go, she moved her hand down to his neck and tugged on the thin piece of leather which hung there, pulling the blood pact phial free from under his robes. She wrapped her hand around the small phial, and he couldn’t help it, he reached forward to press his hand into the spot on her upper chest where he knew her phial was hanging. “You should go,” he whispered. Lily nodded, dropping the phial, which he quickly tucked back under his clothes. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow,” Lily said with a sigh.“Yeah.”His mood sank with each step Lily climbed. With nothing but detention to look forward to that evening, he stomped off to his dormitory. As the weather began to warm, Severus became exhausted from the constant whiplash of emotions he now had to endure. When he was alone he thought wistfully back to the fall term, when life had been simpler. His life was quickly sliding into what could only be described as a chaotic disaster—a confusing volley between misery and bliss. In low moments he fumed about the mess he had created for himself. In high moments, he felt like nothing could ever make him upset again. School fell to the wayside. Regulus endured more than one outburst of bitterness which had Severus flinging things at the walls, and trying to rip his own hair out. Maybe he wasn’t as far from punching someone as he thought.Truth be told, he felt like he was losing his mind. From what he gathered, Lily was faring better. Maybe it was because she was a girl, and girls were steeped in emotional drama already. But in his memory, Lily had never been the typical ‘dramatic girl.’ Certainly not like some of the girls in his own house. Lily reported she also had intense mood swings, which had her friends talking about hormones and something called a period. Severus wasn’t sure what it was a period of, perhaps a period of insanity. Because he felt like he was in and out of periods of insanity himself. After weeks of stoically enduring the madness, Regulus held a sort of intervention. He sat them down in the Room of Requirement and paced before them, hands clasped behind his back. He looked like a little old man, which had Severus and Lily giggling into each other’s shoulders. “Stop it,” snapped Regulus. Which only made them laugh harder, falling over backwards on their cushions. “This has to stop. You two need help.”“Oh Reggie, it’s just a laugh.”Regulus started a bit, but he continued, “You two are not okay. You’re barely functioning independently.”“That’s not true,” Lily said. “I’m doing well enough.”“But that’s the thing, you’re not a ‘well enough’ person, Lily.” Lily glared at Regulus. “Sev, your mood swings are giving me headaches. We ‘ve barely practiced wielding for weeks. The end of year exams are approaching, you should be focused on your studies.”Now Severus was also glaring at Regulus. “And what exactly do you propose we do? We can’t get help, no one can know. It isn’t really that bad, is it, Sev?” Lily looked at him imploringly.“No, it’s fine.” But Severus believe himself.“You’re only saying that because you’re together. Maybe I should have done this separately,” Regulus mumbled. “Maybe you should leave,” Lily said. “Lily, that’s rude.”“If he doesn’t want to be around us, he doesn’t have to.”Regulus stopped pacing and looked down at them. “You’re right. I don’t have to be here. In fact, I’m leaving. When you two are ready to have a real conversation about working through the effects your bond is having on your lives, come find me.” Regulus grabbed his book bag, then slammed the door on his way out. “He’s a bit grumpy,” Lily pouted. “Maybe he’s jealous.”“You think?”Severus shrugged. Regulus had admitted how lonely he was. Maybe seeing himself and Lily enjoying each other’s company so thoroughly was a bit annoying. But it wasn’t their fault. And hadn’t Regulus always been a bit of a third wheel? When Severus returned to the common room later that evening feeling rather glum, he found Regulus and Barty with their heads together. Barty waved him over. “Severus, I’ve finally got it—how you can get back at Black and Potter.”Severus—finding himself more and more in the mood to lay in bed staring broodily up at the canopy—tried to brush him off. But Barty persisted. “Hey, come on. Don’t you want to get them back for all the stuff they pulled?”“No.”“What the hell is wrong with you? You’re in a bad mood all the time, you don’t want to get revenge on the Gryffindors, you don’t try during club anymore.” Barty had his arms crossed over his chest. Regulus was giving Severus an impassive face, which Severus could read like a book. Regulus was pissed. Barty was wise to his odd behavior, which likely meant other people were as well. Some of his Slytherin survival instinct surged through his body. “I . . . I don’t know.” He slumped down next to Regulus and put his head in his hands. “Is it really that bad?”“Yes,” Regulus said flatly. “It feels pretty bad,” Severus finally admitted. “You need to talk to someone.” Severus opened his mouth to protest, but Regulus kept speaking. “You need to talk to an adult.”“I can’t, you know I can’t.” “There’s one person you can talk to, one adult I mean.” Regulus gave him a knowing look. Severus heaved a sigh. “Fine. I’m going now.” “Right now! It’s nearly curfew.”“So? If it’s as bad as you say, I better do something about it, and now is as good a time as any.” Severus stood, hitched his bag back onto his shoulder and strode from the room. He made his way to the Headmaster’s office, wondering if showing up was all one had to do to see Professor Dumbledore. Perhaps the Headmaster was out or busy, but he could at least try to meet with him.“Liquorice wands,” he said to the gargoyle, and he tapped softly on the door at the top of the spiral staircase. “Enter,” Professor Dumbledore called as the door swung inwards. A wave of uncertainty washed over him as he took a few steps into the room.“Mister Snape, what brings you by this evening?”“Thank you for seeing me, Professor, I’d like to have a word.”Dumbledore waved to the chairs in front of his desk. Severus plopped himself down, tapping his feet against the floor. “I’m glad to see you, Severus. How are you faring?”Severus looked at Dumbledore and felt the probing sensation in his mind. To his horror, when he tried to shut the man out, he found himself unable to do so. Images slid in and out of focus from the past several weeks, even back to his and Lily’s blood pact. “Stop it!” yelled Severus. Dumbledore blinked at him; the sensation had vanished. “Why are you doing that?” What he really wanted to ask was why couldn’t I keep you out.“It seems you have been having quite the time figuring out this new state of being,” the Headmaster said calmly. “And!”“And, I have been foolishly naïve.” Dumbledore looked a bit downcast. “Yes, it has been terrible. And wonderful. I don’t know. But it’s why I’m here. My friends said I need help.”Professor Dumbledore nodded solemnly. “I agree. And I am sorry about the Legilimency. I was curious after last time, you shut me out so well. I suspect the intensity of the emotions you are managing has weakened your Occlumency.”“I suppose it has,” Severus agreed. Dumbledore waited patiently for Severus’ expression to neutralize. “What can I do? Is the bond supposed to make me feel so unstable?”“Forgive me, but you are young, a teenager, and emotionally immature. I believe the bond has heightened your emotional state, which in turn magnifies all emotion. And the draw you feel to be near Lily, countered by the sourness you feel when you are apart, is another byproduct of the bond.”“So I have all sorts of new involuntary emotions and they are all amplified?” Severus paused. “Yeah, sounds about right.”“You tend to be a very guarded person, keeping your feelings inside rather than putting them on display like some people. Part of your struggle is experiencing all those emotions in the open. Which has little to do with the bond, and much to do with growing up. Unfortunately, growing up is a many year—some may say lifelong—process, and I would not speed it up for you, even if I could.”“This didn’t happen to you when you bonded then?” “It did, but I was older than you by a good few years. And my partner and I, we had different ways of working through the energy and emotions.”“Who are you bonded to, sir?”The light of the crackling fire flashed off Professor Dumbledore’s spectacles as he turned away from Severus. “May I count on your absolute discretion if I tell you, Severus? This is an extremely sensitive matter for me.”Severus was now very curious, and he drew the cross over his heart, something he’d seen Lily do. “Cross my heart, I will not tell anyone.” Dumbledore gave a weak chuckle. “Not even Lily, I’d like to share this information with her myself, you understand?”He nodded eagerly. Dumbledore steeled himself, then said, “I am soul bonded to Gellert Grindelwald.”Severus felt his mouth drop open, in a comically obvious show of surprise. “The Dark wizard Grindelwald, the one you defeated in a duel?”The Headmaster nodded. “So when you find yourself struggling with an array of strange emotions, know you have not been walking the path alone.”“But, don’t you hate him, sir? I mean, he brought a war to the magical world; he wanted to rule over the muggles.”“The only thing I know for certain about soul bonds, Severus, is we do not choose who we are bonded to. There was a time when I thought Gellert and I saw eye to eye, but you are right. I do hate him. I also love him, and will forever. It’s complicated. You are not old enough to have to deal with such complicated matters as of yet.”“Being Slytherin and Gryffindor is complicated enough,” mumbled Severus. “This is true. Sometimes I wish the rivalry between the two houses would ease.” Yet you push an anti-Dark agenda and openly discriminate against us, just like the rest of the school, Severus thought. “Alas, old ways die hard. I have no doubt your house situation is adding a level of complexity to the bond. And there is also nothing I can do to mitigate the amplifications the bond is having. May I ask, how did you become so accomplished at Occlumency?”“You mean the mind stuff? I’ve always been able to do it. When I was young, before I came to Hogwarts, I would hide in my room while mi mamá and dad would fight. I used to pretend I couldn’t hear them yelling, like I didn’t exist. And it became something I did a lot. I told myself if I was no one, I didn’t have to feel.Dumbledore gazed at him with a mild expression. “You are a natural born Occlumens,” the Headmaster finally said. “The method you are describing, it is the muggle interpretation of the phenomena. The act of actually raising walls—at your age—is a magical talent.”Severus shrugged. “What does it matter?”“For one, it is something unique. While the skill can be learned, it is a gift to be born with the capacities. For another, I believe if you turned your attention back to this skill, you would find yourself more able to cope with the emotional roller coaster you are currently riding.” Dumbledore steepled his fingers under his chin. “What do you think, Severus? Would you like to try tapping back into the feeling of non-existence, is it preferable to you to the extreme emotions?”Severus wasn’t sure. He didn’t like feeling numb, he didn’t know how Regulus did it consistently. He supposed Regulus didn’t have a choice in the matter, and now it seemed neither did he.So he nodded to the Headmaster. “I’ll try.”“Excellent. Do not expect Occlumency to make your troubles vanish, but if you can begin regaining control over your mind, I think life may become more manageable. And how is Lily coping?”“Lily is doing better than myself, I think. It’s still hard for her. Perhaps because she’s a girl, things aren’t quite as bad.”“Perhaps. In my observations, Lily has become less tolerant and mindful as of late.”“Can’t imagine why that would be.”“Indeed.” Dumbledore surveyed him over his spectacles, “Severus you are a good person. You have a truly unprecedented situation on your hands. I think both you and Lily are doing remarkably well, all things considered. In time, things will settle. Reapply yourself to your studies. Spend time with your friends. Go outside.”“I understand.” “I’m going to write to my friends, the only other soul bonded couple I know. I think you and Lily would glean something from meeting with them. I will be in touch as to when a rendezvous can take place.”Severus nodded. “Thank you, for taking the time to talk with me.”“Conversing with the pupils is the highlight of my job. Young people are so energetic and fascinating. Now hurry back to your dorm so you don’t get a detention.”As he walked back to the Slytherin common room, Severus thought about the bond. Specifically if what Dumbledore said about his emotional rollercoaster being a byproduct of simply being a teenager was true. If so, he felt like at least some of the emotions were within his control to mitigate. Severus thought of some ways in which he could regain control over his mind. First, refocus on school. Maybe Lily would be willing to study with him in the library. He would invite her tomorrow. Second, refocus on his extracurriculars. Maybe he would ask Bellatrix if he could teach everyone some of the spells he had invented. Yes, this was an exciting prospect.Third, talk to Regulus. First apologize to Regulus, then talk to him about Dark magic. Severus’ interest had not waned as fully as he had hoped after swearing off Dark magic after the blood pact. Fourth, look forward to summer when he and Lily would be away from Hogwarts and the prying eyes of housemates. Fifth, read his note from Lily at least ten times per day. He fingered it in his pocket too many times to count. The original notes they had written each other were long gone. Severus had pulled his note out and read it so often that within days the parchment was worn soft. A week, and the thing disintegrated in his hands. They had to write new notes to each other whenever one reached this level of decomposition, but neither minded. Severus always wrote the same thing. As did Lily. A final thought crept into his mind. Regulus had not slept in his bed since the night Severus and Lily had bonded, but it had been such a surprisingly pleasant feeling, having someone next to him. Of course he wished it was Lily. Merlin, to be able to fall asleep and wake up next to Lily would be sensational. But perhaps Regulus would be interested in devising a way they could manage to sleep next to each other while still keeping it a secret from their dormmates. Severus blinked and found himself standing before the entrance to the common room. When the wall slid open, he saw there were still a few people lounging about; Regulus and Barty among them. Severus approached them, and swallowed his pride. “Hola, look I’m sorry I’ve been such an arse.”“Too true,” Regulus said. “Barty, what’s your idea for revenge?”Barty gave Severus a cool look, but reached into his pocket and pulled out a bottle with a pink label affixed to it. “This is a laxative,” said Barty. “We put it in their drinks and within minutes they are spewing out of their back sides.”“Where did you get it?”“Madam Pomfrey. She gave me some, but I nicked the bottle when she wasn’t looking and she didn’t notice.”Regulus wrinkled his nose. “What did you need a laxative for?”Barty turned crimson in the dimly lit room, but he must have known this question was coming upon revealing his plan. “I’m a bit of a picky eater. For the first month I was here I only ate bread and apples. It kind of messed up my system.”“You mean to say Hogwarts food is too wild for you?” Severus said. Barty straightened. “Look, you two are pieces of work yourselves, we all have our quirks.”“Okay, okay,” Regulus cut in. “I like it, they shouldn’t know it was us, not like if we cursed them. I say we slip it into the pumpkin juice jug closest to where they’re sitting and hope they’re thirsty.”“Who’s going to do it?” Severus asked. “Me, of course,” said Regulus. “I can get Sirius all worked up just by breathing in his direction. My actual presence should put him into a right frenzy and his mates will all be scrambling over each other to help.”“Excellent. When then?”They looked at each other.“Tomorrow, why wait?” Severus said. “Wait, how many stalls are there in the gents toilets off the entrance hall?” asked Regulus.“Two, why?”Regulus raised his eyebrows and smirked. Severus awoke in his usual stew of despair and longing. But the prospect of the laxative prank was a bright spot on an otherwise grey horizon. Severus and Barty made sure they had seats facing the Gryffindor table when they arrived for breakfast. They had debated the pros and cons of which direction to face and settled on a direct line of sight so they would not be tempted to turn around too often. Besides, if the prank worked properly, the Gyrffindors were going to be rushing out of the great hall, not bothering to slowly inspect the room for curious onlookers. Regulus was armed with the bottle of laxative. Now all they had to do was wait for Black and Potter to show up. To their extreme pleasure, all four boys sauntered into the great hall at the same time. “It’s meant to be,” Barty said under his breath. “Give them a minute,” Severus whispered, barely moving his lips. Potter, Black, Lupin, and Pettigrew sat down together, and started loading their plates. “Go, Regulus, before they pour their drinks!”Regulus hustled off to the Gryffindor table, while Severus and Barty picked at their food. Severus noticed Barty was indeed eating a bowl of plain porridge. Soon Black leapt up and started yelling, “Who did you hear that from? Did Narcissa say something to you?”The other three boys stood as well as. Black looked like he was about to push Regulus. “I don’t care what you say, there’s no way I’m going through with it! I’ll run away, I don’t care if they disown me.” Regulus then said something which must have really egged him on because Black did give him a shove and Regulus sort of stumbled to the side but caught himself on the table. A moment later, Severus saw him slip the tiny bottle back into his pocket. Then Regulus went to work calming the situation down, because the teachers were starting to look up from their copies of the Daily Prophet. Severus remembered he hadn’t read the paper in weeks. He added this to the list of things he could do to combat his bond enhanced mood swings. Soon Regulus was hurrying back. He gave Severus and Barty a rare smile, then quickly busied himself buttering toast. Severus provided quiet commentary. “Potter picked up the jug; he’s pouring some. Now Lupin’s got it, he poured some for everyone. Oh no.”For at that moment, the second year girls arrived. His heart gave a flutter of excitement at the sight of Lily. And as he expected they sat down right next to the boys and Mary reached for the pumpkin juice. “What?” whispered Regulus. But Severus was stuck, he couldn’t say anything in front of Barty. “Oh, some of them also have tea or coffee, I hope they actually drink the juice.”Severus proceeded to watch the second year Gryffindors dig into their meal, and he was satisfied to see Lily sitting on the far end of the group. She didn’t laugh when Potter made some kind of joke either. Severus’ heart swelled. “How long is it supposed to take?” Regulus asked. “Not long, should be any second now for anyone who had some.”And sure enough, a minute later, Lupin looked up with a pinched expression on his face. “Yes!” Barty said. Lupin hurriedly got up and ran toward the entrance hall. Black was next, he bolted for the doors. Potter looked very confused when Pettirgrew also took off. Then Flumette, then Macdonald, then Spinnet, then—and Severus felt a pang of regret—Lily dashed out. Potter was completely befuddled, and then Severus saw him drink some of the juice. Severus, Barty, and Regulus got up to leave not long after Potter vanished to find a toilet. They wanted to see if they could innocently witness the byproducts of their efforts. “I’ve got to wee,” Severus said loudly. “I’ll catch you up.”Regulus and Barty made like they were going to the library which would take them past the next closest set of toilets, if anyone had made it so far. Severus pushed open the door to the gents, and heard Lupin and Black swearing between ghastly excretion sounds. It did not smell good. “Bloody hell! I feel like my stomach is going to explode.” A sound like the air being let out of a balloon rang through the stone chamber. “Ugh, I’m going to be sick.” “We’re already sick you dimwit.”“Yoo-hoo” Severus called. The voices cut off, but plenty of other sounds continued. “That better not be who I think it is,” one of the boys hissed; Severus bet it was Black.“Not a lot you can do about it with your pants around your ankles, Black.”Black let off a string of swear words. “Language,” he admonished, then clucked his tongue.Someone let loose again and Severus had to jam his fist into his mouth to keep from laughing. “You did this, Snivellus,” said Black in a strained voice. “I know it was you.”“I don’t know what you’re referring to. I happened in here for a wee and got lucky to find you in a compromised position.”“Merlin’s saggy balls on toast!” That was Lupin. He grunted and a long string of puuut’s sounded. “Get out, Snivellus!” Black yelled.“Look, do you want me to send for someone?” Severus said nonchalantly.“Just GET. OUT. ”Severus had heard and more importantly smelled enough. He retreated, letting the door bang loudly behind him before he broke down into fits of laughter. Tears streamed from his eyes, and he clutched his stomach. Until he remembered Lily had also had some of the laxative. “Oh no, Lily.” He hurried off to try and find the others. It turned out the girls, who had more stalls in their lavatories than the boys did, had at least all made it to a toilet. Regulus reported Potter had made it to the other toilets in time, likely due to his athletic ability, but Pettigrew . . . Pettigrew had shat himself halfway down the corridor. He had since vacated the scene but he had been spotted by several Ravenclaws and some Gryffindors on their way down to breakfast. Filch could be seen scrubbing the floor of the corridor with a bristled brush and something which smelled like straight bleach. Severus wasn’t sure wizards used bleach, but whatever the chemical or potion, it made his eyes water. “That was bloody brilliant,” said Severus when they were safely clear of the scene of the crime. “Innocent enough they won’t be able to tag us, unpleasant enough to feel like we accomplished something.” Regulus nodded. “Let’s do another,” Barty said. “Maybe we should let the lads, and ladies, fully evacuate their bowels before we start planning the next coup,” Severus said. “Besides, we don’t know the rules of engagement with Gryffindors. We don’t want to initiate an all out house war,” warned Regulus. Barty scoffed. “Rules of engagement? Who cares about rules, you can do whatever you want, as long as you don’t get caught.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Chapter XVII
Project Sleepover
The spring holiday took place during the next week. Just prior, the second years had been given a list of subjects which they could register for as rising third years. Severus contemplated the pros and cons of each lesson, though he ruled out Muggle Studies immediately. And Divination. And Care of Magical Creatures. Okay, so he really didn’t have to contemplate too hard, and signed up for Arithmancy and the Study of Ancient Runes. Lily informed him she had registered for Care of Magical Creatures and Divination. As a muggle born, Lily reasoned Muggle Studies was a waste of time. And she didn’t know what Arithmancy or the Study of Ancient Runes were about. Severus spent a few hours trying to convince her to switch so they could be in more lessons together, but Lily argued being together in lessons would only complicate things. It was easier for them to spend time together away from so many observant eyes. Plus, she wanted to be in lessons with her Gryffindor dormmates. “But these classes affect what jobs we can apply for in the future,” Severus said. “Don’t pick things based on what your friends are doing.”“Would you feel better if I told you Potter and Black are taking Muggle Studies, Ancient Runes, and Arithmancy?”“Yes,” Severus said sheepishly, and dropped the topic.The first week back after the holiday, Severus had the feeling Black and Potter were dogging his footsteps, but they never caught him doing anything suspicious. The fallout from the laxative prank was anticlimactic because no one could be certain how the loose bowels had come to pass for all the Gryffindor second years. Clearly it was attributed to something they all ate, but the source was not identified. It turned out to be lucky the girls also fell victim. If only the boys had succumbed, it would have been easier to point the blame at one specific Slytherin.Severus was adamantly denying involvement, even to Lily. Lying to her was almost physically painful; it was also absolutely necessary. He was grateful the bond had not initiated some kind of crazy mind connection between the two of them. He didn’t want anyone, even Lily, knowing all the thoughts inside his head. Severus wasn’t able to get a private word with Regulus—who had gone home for the Easter holiday—until the Thursday after classes resumed. Their social circle had grown substantially to now include all the boys who attended Bellatrix’s club in third year and below. It meant there was almost no chance for Severus and Regulus to talk alone, especially with their conflicting timetables. “How are you attending a second year class?” Severus had asked way back in January. “Oh, this year it was easy. I’m only missing a single Herbology lesson and then study period. Professor Sprout gave me permission to come do greenhouse chores for an hour instead of the lesson. It’s been great. I suspect next year, whoever builds the timetables will have to work to accommodate it. That or the teacher whose lesson I miss will work out some alternative with me. I’m not dropping back down a grade, in case you’re wondering.”Severus shrugged and figured it wasn’t his business. He was pleased to have Regulus in Potions. Still not a good chance for a private word though, too much to do. But Severus brought him to the Room of Requirement early that Thursday so they could chat.“I want to talk to you about sleepovers,” said Severus. “What are ‘sleepovers’?”“You know, when you sleep over at a friend’s house. Oh, I guess you’ve probably never done that, have you?”“No.” Regulus shook his head adamantly. “Right, well it’s what I call you sleeping in my bed—a sleepover.”“Oh.”“Do you want to have more of them?”“Seriously? I thought you were kind of ‘anti-sleepover’.” Regulus put the word in air quotes. Severus sighed. “I was. But something about your company in sleep was calming for me as well. And with the bond, I can take all the calm I can get.”Regulus had a smile playing on his lips. “I told you,” he said quietly. “The problem is, I still don’t want other people to know. I mean do you?”Regulus shrugged. “I don’t care. If Sirius were in Slytherin I’d be sleeping in his bed every night.”“Yeah but Black is your brother.”“You’re my brother too.”Severus felt his cheeks flush at this comment. He certainly thought of Regulus as one of his two best friends but to be thought of as a sibling . . . It was how he had thought of Lily before he found out she was actually his soulmate. It was significant. “But other people don’t see us that way.” “What do you think they’ll think we are doing besides sleeping next to each other?”“Um, do you really not know?”“Know what?”“Know about sex.” Severus felt extremely awkward, his face had reddened even more. “Oh I know about sex. Why in the world would people think us sleeping in the same bed has anything to do with sex? We aren’t married, and we aren’t a boy and a girl.”Severus scowled. He looked at Regulus in confusion and curiosity. Then Severus remembered besides being the most socially sheltered person he’d ever met, Regulus was also a member of a very old, very traditional wizarding family. Even so, Regulus had grown up with Black for a brother, and he’d never thought . . . But Severus was not going to go there. “Look, I don’t really want to get into the details of this right now, but . . . you don’t have to be a boy and a girl to have sex.”Regulus looked truly puzzled. “Don’t you? But where do the babies sex makes come from then?”Severus dropped his head into his hands and groaned. Thankfully—or not—Lily entered the room at that moment and ran to Severus, throwing her arms around him. He hugged her back. And as their new norm, the hug went on for way longer than was socially acceptable. Regulus played with wandlessly summoning fire until they broke apart. “Hola,” Lily breathed, taking hold of his hand.“Hola.” Their eyes were locked on each other. This would also last an awkwardly long time by any normal standard. Finally Lily smiled and looked away. “Hiya, Regulus.” She held out her free hand and gave Regulus a one armed hug. “Hi, Lily,” smiled Regulus. “Severus and I were just discussing sex, and maybe you can —”But Lily had let out a cough or maybe it was a snort—Severus wasn’t really sure. She looked at him with wide eyes and a brilliantly red face. “It’s not what you think,” Severus said in Spanish. “Isn’t it?” Lily squeaked. “Regulus is a little naïve about sex. But I hardly think this is the time or place to get into all that,” Severus said, switching back to English on Regulus’ behalf.“Why was it brought up in the first place?” “Regulus and I had a sleepover a while back, the night you and I bonded. And it wasn’t as bad as I’d thought it would be.” He watched Lily start to smirk and rolled his eyes. “We want to do it more often, but we don’t want people to know because . . .” And Severus gave Lily a meaningful look. “Oh, yes, I see.”“See what?” Regulus said. Lily gave Regulus a shrug. “People might think you two are, you know, involved if you start sleeping in each other’s beds. The girls do sleepovers all the time, but it’s different for us.”“Involved in what?” Regulus asked.“See! I am not having this conversation with Black’s little brother.” Lily seemed to consider Regulus, then she walked over to the cushions on the floor and plopped down, patting the one next to her while looking at Regulus. He looked surprised, but took a seat. Lily put her arm around him and gave a brief squeeze. “I’m going to make this short and sweet. Sort of like you.”“Hey!” Regulus elbowed her, but she giggled. Severus couldn’t believe the turn his attempt at inviting Regulus to more sleepovers had taken. He slunk into a corner and leaned against the wall, arms crossed over his chest. “You know what sex is?”“Yeah.”“Tell me.”Regulus didn’t miss a beat. “It is when a husband and wife make a baby. The wife carries the baby inside her body and then the baby is born.”“Is that all?”“What else is there?”“A lot more, Regulus. I don’t even know half of it and I don’t want to know. But on a very basic level, no matter what gender—if you agree to have sex—anyone can have sex with anyone. And certain parts are required to actually make a baby. But for your specific situation, people might assume you and Severus are having sex, or are planning to have sex someday. Which is really ridiculous because you are like ten years old.”“Hey, I’m twelve!”“Right, you’re clearly ancient.” Lily laughed. “The point is, some people might get ideas. Maybe not about what’s happening between the two of you right now, but it will impact how people view you in the future . . . And Severus likes to keep intimate relationships private.” Lily now threw Severus a huge smile and winked. Severus rolled his eyes in his corner.“Even though you and me and Sev know you wouldn’t be doing anything other than chatting and sleeping—which sounds really pleasant by the way—Sev doesn’t want people to assume you two are in a romantic relationship. So the question is, is it possible?”“Is what possible?” asked Regulus. “Is it possible to keep it hidden?” Lily had a playful look on her face. “Stop skulking and get over here, Sev.” She waved him over. “I’m not skulking.”“You most definitely are.”“Am not.”“You still are! Now get your skinny arse over here and brainstorm how we can make this happen.”They sat together on the floor and threw around all sorts of crazy ideas for sneaking into someone’s bed from buying an invisibility cloak, to brewing a potion which would turn someone invisible—they were not sure if such a potion existed—to using spells to conceal themselves. The last idea had the most promise and was the most realistically attainable. But what spells to use? Professor Flitwick had mentioned a camouflage spell during their first week of Charms. Would it be enough? Then Severus remembered the Distinaverteo spell he had invented, which caused other people to become distracted and diverted if they tried to pay attention to the subject of the spell’s magic. “So if you could learn a camouflage spell and cast Distinaverteo on yourself, would you essentially be invisible?” asked Regulus. “Maybe.” Severus shrugged. “Let’s test it and find out!” Lily looked excited. “Imagine if it worked, imagine what you could do. You could wander the corridors at all hours and no one would know.”“Don’t get ahead of yourself, Evans. First we have to learn what is likely an advanced camouflage spell,” Severus said. “Well, you can start teaching us the other spell any time,” Lily insisted, then she rummaged in her bag and pulled out her wand. “You and that wand,” said Severus. “Why would you not try it by wielding?”“Oh, I guess I can. It isn’t my default, you know?”“That goes for both of you,” Severus said to Regulus who was also grabbing his wand. “Oh . . . yeah . . .”“Sometimes, I don’t know about you two.”Lily and Regulus exchanged sheepish grins. “The incantation is Distinaverteo. With a wand, it is a sort of sweeping gesture—like a big oval. But I’ve only used it in a location specific context. This would require it to be applied to your person. I think if you had a wand, you would sweep the wand around your entire head in a circle. For you two, I don’t know how you usually feel that part of the spells. Do what feels right.”“How do you know if it’s working?” Regulus asked. “Trial and error. It would be nice if you turned purple or something if it was working, but alas, I’m not that good.”So they practiced. Lily and Regulus were equally successful in performing the spell wandlessly. And the best part was it worked—sort of. Whoever was casting it upon themselves, would walk around the room and see if the other two paid them any attention. The other two were supposed to actively try to engage with the Distinaverteo’d person. Severus could perform it perfectly and flew totally under the radar with the other two.“It’s crazy! I can see you, but as soon as I try to talk to you or even take a good look at you, my mind is tugged elsewhere. Like I remember the Charms essay I have to edit, or plans I have to meet up with someone later,” said Lily. “Who are you meeting up with?” asked Severus.“My friends,” Lily said. “Your other friends,” corrected Regulus. “You two are my best friends though.” Both boys looked rather pleased.When Lily or Regulus cast the charm upon themselves, they could throw off attention upon first glance, but then with a double take and the spell wouldn’t hold. “As always, we need more practice,” Regulus said. In the meantime, Severus and Regulus took on the task of finding a camouflaging spell for them to work on the following week. Teachers were piling on homework in preparation for the end of year exams, even though they were still over a month off. And before Severus, Regulus, and Lily had the chance to meet again, Severus received a note from Professor Dumbledore.
Please meet me in my office at seven o’clock on Monday evening.
He discovered Lily had received the same note, and suspected Dumbledore had set up the meeting with his soul bonded friends. Sure enough, the Headmaster led him and Lily to a Hogwarts guest suite to meet with two people named Nicolas and Perenelle Flamel. Lily was jittery and excited, but Severus—who was using Occlumency to dull some of the emotional effects of the bond—wished he could be practicing Lateo Maxima, the camouflage spell he and Regulus had discovered. Nicolas and Perenell were nice enough. Severus found dredging up the specifics of their soul bond made him irritable and his Occlumency walls began to slip. It had come to an argument he thought he’d blocked the Flamels from understanding by speaking in Spanish. “I know you’re bitter,” he said to Lily. “Bitter we have to go through this, bitter it’s with me.”“I’m not bitter it is with you.” But Severus didn’t fully believe her. The fact still stood, if it had not been for him, their bond never would have forged. Then Severus became extra annoyed when Perenelle pulled Lily aside and spoke with her privately. Lily stubbornly refused to disclose the contents of their side conversation. And Severus stubbornly decided to hold it against her, at least for a day or two. Once back in his own bed, Severus’ mind calmed and he was able to reposition the walls in his mind. Cripes, he still had a lot of work to do with Occlumency. The whole point with Occlumency was to help in highly emotional situations, but he seemed to crack under the strain. He shifted his thoughts to the new spell, the spell which would camouflage a person so they were harder to spot. It was called the disillusionment charm. The book which they were working from said the incantation was supposed to be cast non-verbally. Alone with his thoughts, Severus kept tossing and turning, unable to fall asleep.He had never wished so bad for Regulus to be lying next to him—someone to tether and sooth him. But he was alone. Severus filled his mind with the images of his two best friends, when the three of them were together he felt lighter, there was more laughter. Lily had the best laugh, and when she laughed her eyes crinkled and a little dimple appeared in her left cheek. Severus focused on all the details of Lily he could conjure and eventually he drifted off to sleep. During the two weeks it took all three of them to master both the disillusionment and distraction charms, Professor Saaverda was teaching the second years about their final Dark creature of the year: werewolves. “The werewolf has long been deemed a dangerous Dark creature, even though in its human form, the werewolf hardly differs from any other human. I have had the experience of meeting a few werewolves during my work at the Ministry. They are as unique as any human individual. And many are concerned about safety,” Professor Saaverda lectured. The class seemed collectively shocked at this proclamation. Severus had gathered among the majority of Slytherins the attitude about werewolves unanimously labeled them as vile, evil creatures, who were one wrong move away from being formally exterminated. “They’re infectious,” fellow second year Elowen had said to Anica after the lesson. Anica nodded in agreement.“And it doesn’t matter if they’re human most of the time. You read the textbook, the wolf is lurking right under their skin. They’re volatile and angry and often criminals,” Anica said. The rest of the Slytherin second years echoed a similar sentiment. But Professor Saaverda’s words made Severus curious. So he brought up the topic with Lily and Regulus. They both had such similar expressions of thoughtfulness cross their features, Severus nearly laughed. “I don’t know,” said Lily. “I didn’t grow up in the magical world so I guess I can see where Professor Saaverda is coming from. Just because a person seems bad, doesn’t mean they are bad. But, werewolves really are very dangerous, and they will attack people if they can.”“I think people are complicated,” was all Regulus said. In the end, Severus decided he wasn’t likely to meet a werewolf and get to judge its character on its human traits, therefore he felt it easiest to align with his peers’ anti-werewolf ideals. When the second year students brought their concerns up with Professor Saaverda during the following lesson, she heard them out.“To be clear,” she said, “I’m not arguing werewolves are innocent, nor that they should be approached lightly. I’m merely bringing to light the fact discrimination is often rooted in fear and misunderstanding.”“But the Ministry understands they’re dangerous,” said Piers. “I asked my dad and he said werewolves are supposed to come to holding cells at the Ministry during full moons so they don’t have the freedom to attack anyone.”“This is true, and while there is legislation which requires werewolves to make themselves known by registering officially and presenting themselves at full moons for safeguarding, hardly any actually follow those rules.” Professor Saaverda perched herself on the edge of her desk. “The Department for the Control of Magical Creatures is understaffed and doesn’t follow up on more than the compliance of already registered werewolves. There are countless more who have never bothered to register, and are thus flying under the radar, living in the wild or trying to integrate into the magical or muggle world.”“Why would they want to be with muggles?” “Because muggles are far less suspicious and less observant of repetitive absences coinciding with the full moon. And muggles can become werewolves too. For those who choose not to register, there are isolated regions of the United Kingdom where some wolves go during full moon to keep themselves away from humans.” “Yes, but if they came upon someone . . .”Professor Saaverda nodded. “Indeed, even with the best of intentions, accidents do happen.”“And what about those unlucky people! They either die or are turned into werewolves themselves. How can you say all the werewolves shouldn’t be locked up for the good of wizardkind?”Many people were becoming more agitated; Professor Saaverda stayed calm. “It’s a complicated issue, as are many in this world,” she said. “But it never hurts to stop and ask yourself about the root of your biases before jumping to conclusions.”Several people huffed and many arms were crossed tightly across chests. Severus didn’t see why people cared so much what their Professor thought. It was the Ministry’s decision, not hers. He doubted anyone in the lesson was likely to encounter a werewolf in their lifetime. With countless other matters requiring his attention, he didn’t let the werewolf debate linger in his mind. At the beginning of May—after weeks of practice—Severus, Lily and Regulus were all able to perform Distinaverteo and Lateo Maxima successfully. The non-verbal strength of Lateo Maxima was a huge benefit to Lily and Regulus, who always performed wielding non-verbally. Their disillusionment charms may not have made a person completely invisible, but paired with the distraction charm, Severus didn’t see how anyone would notice them. “Now you have to figure out your routine,” Lily insisted. “After all, even if you’re not spotted, a door opening and closing of its own accord will be suspicious.”“As will an empty bed if anyone comes to check on us,” said Severus. But Regulus had already solved this by informing them Colloportus —the door locking charm they learned in first year—would lock the curtains of a four poster closed. “It isn’t a strong locking charm, Alohamora will reverse it. But I doubt anyone is going to go through that much trouble, especially if we start making a spectacle of ourselves,” Regulus said. “What do you mean?” Lily asked, suspiciously. “Only that it’s about time I start acting like the bully everyone expects me to be when Bellatrix leaves, and Severus can join in if he wants.” Regulus shrugged. “You’re going to start cursing people?” asked Severus. “Other Slytherins?”“More threatening them—and not without cause—but yeah, I kind of have to. Bellatrix didn’t get her reputation by being a pushover.”“But that’s really mean,” Lily said. “It’s necessary.”Eventually Lily stopped trying to talk Regulus out of it and asked him not to inform her of his aggressive actions. She also gave Severus a look which plainly said, ‘ I don’t want to know what you’re thinking .’ But Severus already operated on a tell Lily as little as possible about his inner-house relations moto; he wasn’t about to start telling her more than she absolutely needed to know. Between the two of them, Severus and Regulus decided they would meet in the corridor outside the first year dorm at nine thirty each night and take turns whose bed they slept in. Then they would help each other leave on the pretense of spending some early morning time studying in the common room. Regulus was positively giddy with excitement at the prospect of finally having overcome this obstacle so they could keep each other company at night. The first night, Severus arrived to find Regulus already disillusioned. “Bit keen?” He raised an eyebrow.Severus brought him back to his dorm, and Regulus eased through the door before Severus shut it behind them. All the other curtains were already drawn, but this didn’t mean everyone was asleep. So they waited until the curtains of Severus’ four poster had been closed, a silencing charm and locking charm cast, before speaking again. “It worked!” smiled Regulus. “We didn’t even see anyone else. Let’s hope it works as well if we have actual eyes and ears on us.”Regulus was untroubled and snuggled down under the covers in his fancy looking pajamas. Severus couldn’t get over how small Regulus seemed. Had he grown at all this year? Just his head was visible, his wavy black hair framing his pale face. In the darkness, this was all the detail Severus could make out.Severus wiggled under the covers as well and lay facing his friend. Their knees were touching, but neither of them shifted. While Severus’ mind was usually a bit of a scrambled whirlwind before going to sleep, he focused on the sensation of his knees touching Regulus’ knees and on Regulus’ even breathing. “Night,” whispered Regulus. “¡Buenas noches!” said Severus. “Sev?” Of course Regulus wasn’t actually ready to fall asleep. He gave a non-commital grunt. “Will you teach me some Spanish like you taught Lily?” “Because we have so much free time to fill?”“I know French already; it can’t be too hard to learn another language.”“I guess, are you going to teach me French then? Because at the rate you’re going with that notebook translation, I’ll be able to learn it fluently and read it myself before you’re done.”Regulus smacked himself on the forehead with his palm. “I completely forgot! You should have said something sooner!”“We’re all busy.”“I’ll do it. I’ll do it this weekend.”After a long silence, Severus said, “I’ll teach you Spanish; it’s easiest to do a language immersion. That’s what I did with Lily.”“As in we only speak in Spanish?” asked Regulus.“Yeah, at least at certain times. Do you think it would be too weird to do in front of people? Because if so, I literally don’t know when we will have time.”“I don’t care what other people say. Might be good fodder for some reputation building at any rate. When do we start?”“Ahora.”“Um,” Regulus sighed, “Okay, I guess I asked for that.”“Ahora means now. ¡Buenas noches!” Severus said again. “¡Buenas noches!” replied Regulus, and his accent wasn’t terrible. Exams were due to begin in three weeks, at the start of June. Having survived his first round of exams unscathed, Severus was more confident this go around. But there was still a mountain of work to review. Thankfully, he was a strong caster, and had mastered every spell the second years had been set. His writing was certainly good enough to earn high marks on written exams. And his practical work was excellent in Potions, and above average in all the other subjects. But it was hard to not get caught up in the frantic craze of everyone else revising for the exams. The teachers weren’t helping, constantly reminding the students of the upcoming tests and making blatant comments on many people’s classwork. “Excellent work, Miss Plume,” Professor McGonagall commended the fluffy slippers Calista had transfigured from a brace of white rabbits. Then she rounded on Lester. “Mister McCain, I see your slippers are still sporting whiskers and a tail. For homework, practice!”Severus had to swallow a laugh as Lester’s face reddened and the tail on one of his slippers gave a half-hearted wiggle.Bellatrix’s weekly club was still learning new material, courtesy of Severus himself. Bellatrix was eager for him to teach the group a few of the spells he had invented. He taught them Langlock first, as so many people were already familiar with the spell. Then he taught them Punctro, which he said could be used to draw someone’s attention with a poke from a great distance. He also taught them Muffliato and Distinaverteo. Severus was slightly hesitant to teach these spells, as they were one’s he used with regularity. But ultimately, he didn’t see how other people also knowing them would impact his ability to use them. Bellatrix was extremely impressed with his spells. She was practically gushing with admiration. When he made to leave after one of the meetings, she grabbed his arm and held him back.He shook her off but they were alone in the room. “Severus, am I mistaken or did you miss the Ostara and Beltane celebrations? Are you still intending to declare for the Dark?” she said“I’m still thinking about it,” he said, avoiding her eyes, as usual. “The Dark Lord”—Bellatrix caressed his name—“is going to be very interested in you. With your talent for spell innovation, and Occlumency . . . yes, he will be very interested indeed. No one has brought as much value to these little meetings as you have, Severus. You are a brilliant wizard. He will see that.”Severus didn’t comment. Bellatrix had her wand in her hand and she spun it idly, trying to catch his eye. “Join us, Severus. Join the Dark, and I promise you will become more powerful than you ever imagined. More powerful than most of the teachers at this pestilential school.”Severus narrowed his eyes. He knew declaring as a Dark wizard and following the so called Dark Lord were fully exclusive of each other. But the way Bellatrix phrased it—egging him toward the man she so adored—left little doubt she was actually willing him to pledge his allegiance to the mysterious figurehead. “I haven’t decided yet,” he repeated, eyes on the stone flagons comprising the floor of the dungeon room. “He is the most powerful wizard to ever live,” Bellatrix said, and she grabbed Severus’ chin to tilt his head up. “Why won’t you look at me, Snape?”So Severus did. And immediately she was trying to worm into his mind. But he had been ready. He had been practicing Occlumency for months now. And she met walls. “Hmmm,” she said, frowning. “Been practicing, have you?”Severus jerked his head out of her grip and took a step back. “You can’t force me to do anything, Bellatrix.”“Of course not. You choose the path you walk.” Bellatrix tapped her wand in the palm of her free hand. “Choose wisely.”Severus must have looked rather shaken when he was waved over by Regulus in the common room minutes later. “¿Qué quería?” Regulus said. What did she want? “Yes, the usual bullshit.” “She is . . .” But Regulus must not have been able to think of the word he wanted.“¡Es una pesada!” She’s a pain. Severus made some annoyed hand and facial gestures. Regulus repeated the phrase. “Contando los días,” Regulus said. Counting the days. Severus knew he was referring to counting down the days until the end of the year when Bellatrix and the rest of the seventh years would graduate and finally leave Hogwarts. “Can you two please speak English?” Barty said. He hadn’t taken to their Spanish immersion happily. Regulus told Barty he was capable of learning Spanish as well, but Barty seemed to feel it wasn’t for him. And Severus remembered the first upper year to poke fun at them for their use of Spanish. The teenager found himself against a wall with a dagger pressed into his robes by a seething first year. Severus hadn’t seen Regulus pull the knife and he was clearly applying just enough pressure to make the boy terrified. “Would you like to rethink your words, Hughes?” Regulus said, the knuckles holding the dagger were white and he twisted it slightly, making Hughes gasp. “I’m . . . I’m . . . no—I’m sorry,” stammered Hughes. Severus then noticed the small silver broomstick pinned to his robes which identified him as a member of the Slytherin quidditch team. He was surprised Regulus would take such aggressive action against a potential future teammate. “Don’t let me hear you say such things again,” Regulus said. “Language knows no loyalty, but the same cannot be said about me.”Hughes nodded and Regulus withdrew his dagger. It was gone before Severus could see if there was any blood on the blade.Regulus gave Hughes a backwards sneer and walked away, Severus at his side, nearly bursting with tension. As soon as they were clear of prying ears, Severus said in English, “Is this your intimidation tactic?”“Sí,” Regulus said. “¡Ostras! ¿Estás intentando que te expulsen?” Bloody hell! Are you trying to get expelled? Regulus gave him a withering look and didn’t bother to reply.
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Chapter XVIII
A Furry Little Problem
At dinner on Monday, May fourteenth, the school was treated to a ridiculous display after the Gryffindor second years led the rest of their house in a chorus of ‘Happy Birthday’ to Pettigrew. As the song concluded, hundreds and thousands poured from the ceiling, bouncing off every surface, and forcing everyone to throw their hands protectively over their heads. This lasted only a few seconds, but the hall was completely covered in teeny-tiny rainbow colored sprinkles. Potter, Black, and Lupin were howling with laughter and clapping Pettigrew on the back. Dumbledore waved his wand lazily and all the hundreds and thousands vanished. Apparently it was Pettigrew’s birthday. Severus was not impressed. He caught Regulus’ eye and saw only a moment of sadness before Regulus rolled his eyes. “Idiotas.”Severus watched as Professor McGonagall strode over to the group and waved a finger in their direction, but the boys hardly looked upset. Instead, Potter waved his wand and Professor McGonagall’s black pointed hat transformed into a party hat, earning him a tight lipped smile from the stern woman. She walked back to the teacher’s table and took off the hat for a close inspection before returning it to its original form with a tap of her wand. “McGonagall is so biased,” Avery said.“Slughorn is biased too,” replied Rosier.“Slughorn is only biased in favor of those in his little club.” Avery gave a sneer. “The Slug Club?” Barty asked. “I’ve heard of it. Isn’t it for sixth and seventh years.”“Yes.” Avery was clearly displeased. “My cousin is a seventh year and she said he invites anyone he wants to get favors from. Doesn’t even limit it to Slytherin either. There are a bunch of Ravenclaws and a Gryffindor and a Hufflepuff or two from what she’s said. She got invited for a while; but for some reason Slughorn changed his mind about her and she stopped receiving invitations.”“Slughorn is a pompous bastard. Everyone knows that.”There were nods of ascent as the Slytherins laid into their Head of House. Severus tuned them out, mind on his meal and the afternoon study break he was planning for himself. Since his social circle had grown to practically gargantuan proportions, Severus found he had to slip away and find time to be alone if he wanted to stay happy at Hogwarts. He had taken to using his and Regulus’ sleepover spells to essentially disappear out onto the grounds. The weather was beautiful, and being outdoors was truly mood lifting. He and Lily would often spend time together this way as well, but he didn’t love trying to talk to her while they were both disillusioned. It was distracting and difficult to read each other’s facial expressions.So Severus spent time alone, recharging for life surrounded by other boys. Regulus had at long last given him several sheafs of parchment with the translations from the Soul magic notebook, and Severus was planning to take the notes out onto the grounds for a readover before the sun set. Already it stayed light past nine o’clock and curfews had been adjusted accordingly. It was difficult to force students from the grounds on the pretense of sleep and safety when it was still light out. After dinner, Severus bid farewell to his fellows and headed outside with his book bag. As soon as he was alone, he took his wand out and cast the two spells which would render him essentially invisible. He made for his favorite tree, near the shore of the lake. At the base of the tree, he sat in the grass and took out Regulus’ translated notes. Soul Magic - Soul Bonding was scribed across the top of the parchment in beautiful handwriting. Honestly, handwriting this good was a distraction. But Severus read on.
Soul bonding involves the identification of soulmates through the ritual of exchanging blood. The blood of each individual must enter the body of the other through skin to skin, more aptly wound to wound, contact. Blood cannot be drunk or ingested orally or through any other means for the bond to manifest.
Soulmates experience excruciating pain, stemming from a single area of their body, which dissipates after a short time, leaving behind a magical tattoo in the shape of a perfect ring on matching parts of the soulmates bodies.
This magical tattoo cannot be removed and tampering with it in any capacity is not advised. It can be glamoured, but as a magical tattoo, the magic of the mark will dramatically shorten the length of time the glamour holds.
Patronus forms of soul bonded pairs are confirmed to match. One pair has not been confirmed. When used as a means of communication between soulmates, the patronus of each partner is completely invisible and undetectable to anyone else.
The death of one partner of a bonded pair almost assures the quick death of the remaining partner. Two of three known pairs had a partner commit suicide. The remaining partner of the third pair was part veela, and lived with a new partner for approximately three years before dying of malnourishment.
When soulmates are in close proximity, their blood recognizes each other and sings in joy. This accounts of the uplifted and even euphoric feeling the bonded have in each other’s presence. Upon separation, the blood longs for the return of the soulmate, creating intense sensations of longing between bonded individuals.
The soul bond is thought to have some sentient qualities.
Severus’ head was spinning, but the notes went on.
The following is speculation regarding the mating habits of creatures who forge lifelong bonds of their own guided by the rules of their unique magic and their potential to soul bond. Information has been pulled from various academic resources and personal observations.
The creatures who mate for life are veela, centaurs, and werewolves. Sometimes this mating is referred to as the creature’s bonding, but it is not a soul bond.
Veela have a primary bonded life partner, another veela, but take many different partners as secondary throughout their lives. They earn respect within their race by the number of strong bonds they forge with others. The higher the number the more revered the veela. But for a bond to be recognized as legitimate, it must be honored by the veela, her primary partner, and the third party. Only the offspring of two veela are pure veela. Offspring of a veela and the secondary partner are part veela.
*The part veela who was known to have soul bonded did not follow these customs, but identified her soulmate through the blood exchanging ritual. She tried to take a new partner when the soulmate died, but wasted away in grief for the lost soulmate.
Centaurs mate for life with their partner, but they hold various rituals and celebrations where sexual promiscuity is expected. The body of a centaur will recognize their chosen mate and only the two are able to reproduce, even though both are able to copulate with other centaurs. If a mate dies, a centaur can take a new mate, but they will not be able to produce any offspring. No centaur is known to have soul bonded.
Werewolves mate for life with their partner, and once they do, they are exclusive sexually to each other. As creatures which transform between an animal and human form, wolves can only create a lifelong bond with another wolf while in their animal form. As humans, sex between or with a werewolf does not result in forging the bond. In their human form, werewolves can take multiple sexual partners, but in their wolf form, a mated werewolf will not initiate sexual activity with anyone other than their partner. No werewolf is known to have soul bonded.
Severus wasn’t quite sure why Regulus had given him all this information about creatures, as it didn’t apply to himself and Lily. But the notes continued, so perhaps Regulus felt it wasn’t his place to edit material out.
The ability to soul bond is theorized to stem from descendants of the Peverell family. Of the known bonded pairs, one of the individuals in each pair is a descendant of the Peverell’s. In his published book ‘The Tales of Beedle the Bard’ Beedle included ‘The Tale of the Three Brothers,’ a work many believers speculate was inspired by the three Peverell brothers.
Severus paused, this was important. It implied either he or Lily was distantly related to this Peverell family in order for a soul bond to be possible between them, as were either Professor Dumbledore or Gellert Grindlewald. As Lily was muggle-born, he couldn’t see how she was related. His magical family heritage was in Spain, and before that, he did not know where they stemmed from. Ultimately, what did it matter—whether or not he was distantly related to some family? Although, wasn’t this the entire premise of the pureblood argument? Blood and family were more important than anything else. Severus read on.
However, not all of Beedle’s tales were included in the published book. Though they have fallen into legend, Beedle’s lost scrolls contain several stories which were rejected when the book was published. Among these, ‘The Tale of the Fallen Eagle’ is thought to be the link which ties the Peverell family to soul bonding.
Believers speculate the Peverell’s mother was the inspiration behind the story, and many have forgotten the Peverell brothers also had a younger sister, she also could have been the inspiration for the tale.
The question remains how Beedle himself knew of the capacity to soul bond, which is a heavily guarded secret in the magical community. Was he himself perhaps bonded? Did he speak to someone else who knew it was possible? It seems unlikely he was merely one of the very few believers who is wise to the knowledge but keeps it silent, as writing a story for the public which includes soul bonding does not fall into line with the discretion most believers practice. Then again, the story was never formally published or shared widely.
What was this tale, ‘The Tale of the Fallen Eagle?’ Severus wasn’t familiar with the name Beedle the Bard. He’d have to ask Regulus about the man, and the stories. He wondered idly if the Flamels were aware of the Soul Magic notebook’s existence. It was very likely they were. However, they seemed unaware of its current location, as Severus had a hard time believing any adult would leave such a one-of-a-kind artifact in the hands of a twelve year old student. If Beedle was instrumental in documenting something regarding soul bonding, he would have been well known to the Flamels. And wouldn’t they have mentioned the man to him and Lily?There was only one small segment of Regulus’ loopy handwriting left.
Soul bonds are themselves the stuff of legend. So few are documented, most of the magical community remains ignorant of their existence. But to identify yourself as a believer, the symbol of a ring drawn during a conversation will let a fellow know what you believe and give them an opportunity to respond in kind. The gesture is easily passed off if they do not recognize the meaning. Believers guard the secret.
Severus set the parchment aside. There was a lot to digest. Yet, did any of it impact him and Lily at thirteen years old and unqualified as they were? He hadn’t fully understood parts of it. Coming down the sloping lawn, Severus heard the voices of his least favorite Gryffindors. He shrunk back against the trunk of the tree, forgetting he was quite invisible to them. “The sooner exams are over the better.” “Oh, you don’t mean that, Pete. I love exams.”“Like hell you do, studying cuts into your primping time.”“You know I don’t study, studying is for losers.”“So I’m a loser then?”“Except you Moony, you’re not a loser. But everyone else.”“Hey! It’s my birthday. Don’t call me a loser.”The voices were quite close now and it sounded like someone had received a thwack on the head.“Oi! There’s no need for violence.”“You insulted Pete on his birthday.”“I insult Pete all the time, why should his birthday be any different? He knows I really love him, don’t you, Pete?”Grumbling, Severus assumed from Pettigrew. “At least Moony doesn’t have to worry about his furry little problem during exams this year.”“Shut up, James,” Black said. “Anyone could be listening.”Severus could now see the four boys, all of them were sporting pointed party hats in obnoxiously bright shades of pink, orange, and yellow. Pettigrew was wearing a shirt with the head of a lion on it which went from looking rather placid to letting out a mighty roar. “I love that shirt!” said Potter, laughing heartily. “I’ll be sure to get you one for your birthday next year but it won’t have a lion on it.”“What will it have?”“A pygmy puff, and periodically it will roll over, expose its privates, and squeal.”Potter launched himself at Black, but Black was ready. He caught Potter and spun them around, both boys roaring with laughter. Lupin and Pettigrew exchanged an exasperated look. Severus was about to get up and leave the imbeciles to their shenanigans when Pettigrew spoke again. “It’s a bummer you have to miss Defense this week, Moony. Professor Saaverda is doing a review of all the Dark creatures we have covered. You could probably earn Gryffindor fifty points with correct answers.”Who was Moony? This question was answered instantly. Lupin gave Pettigrew a small smile and rubbed his forehead. “You should volunteer an answer, Pete; you know the material.”Lupin was Moony. Lupin was also missing class again on some upcoming day. Severus didn’t know off the top of his head when the Gryffindors had D.A.D.A. And hadn’t Potter mentioned something about Moony and a ‘furry little problem.’ They were clearly speaking in code. Which meant they were hiding something. But the boy’s conversation had strayed fully into exam territory. Severus didn’t feel like hearing Black and Potter argue about who would get the top Charms and Transfiguration marks. “And my teapot was way better than yours, macha, sorry but your paisley pattern was so 1965.”“Not so, your teapot was decorated with snitches. I don’t think McGonagall is giving points for creating your own china pattern.”“At least your teapot didn’t have a tortoiseshell pattern on it.”“Cheer up, Pete. You still did better than Fran. Her tortoise didn’t change shape and when it opened its mouth, steam came pouring out.”“Oi! Don’t make fun of Fran.”Severus sped up his walk, but the boys on the water’s edge were now shouting at each other. He would be able to hear them all the way up to the castle. “That’s right, I forgot you have a girlfriend.” “It’s more than you’ve got.”“Now, Pete, Sirius didn’t mean it.”Black’s voice rang out, “Oi! Maybe I’ve snogged someone and didn’t bother to mention it.” Finally Severus was through the front doors. They closed behind him with a resounding bang. Not a few steps down the corridor toward the dungeons he heard the sounds of someone clearly having a good time behind a door he knew to conceal a broom closet. “Honestly,” Severus grumbled. He flung open the door and a boy with blonde hair tumbled out, landing flat on his back at Severus’ feet. The girl in the closet let out a shriek and hid her face behind her hands. The blonde boy looked up at Severus, then sat up and straightened his disheveled hair. He gave Severus a wide, sparkling grin. “Ever heard of a silencing charm?” Severus said with a snarl. “Sorry, mate, didn’t think anyone would be down this way.” The blonde boy was still beaming, and the girl scuttled past him, running down the corridor toward the entrance hall. “This passage leads to the Slytherin common rooms. People come down this corridor all the time.”“Whoops!” The boy shrugged, then stood brushing off his robes. He held out his hand to Severus. “Gilderoy.”Severus gave him a disgusted look. “Lockhart,” the boy said, hinting the name should mean something to Severus.Ah, this was the first year who had been sorted into Ravenclaw, Severus now remembered. They were the same height, Gilderoy being a bit tall for his grade. He had blue eyes and a very neat, straight nose. “Look, you’ve run my date off, but you aren’t bad to look at, care to join me yourself?” Gilderoy gave a coy smirk and jabbed his thumb toward the open door of the closet. Severus mumbled, “No, I don’t like blokes.”“Pity,” said Gilderoy. “Look me up if you ever change your mind. I’ll be around.”Then Gilderoy grabbed his bag, tossed it over his shoulder, blew Severus a kiss, which turned into a wave, and strode down the corridor. Severus slammed the door of the broom closet shut and rushed to the common room. His cheeks were burning when he entered his dorm, grabbing his pajamas for bed. He must have still looked flustered when he met Regulus later because after they had crawled into Regulus’ bed, drawn the curtains, then silenced and locked themselves in, Regulus said bluntly, “¿Qué te ha pasado?” What happened to you? “It was that Ravenclaw, Gilderoy Lockhart.”“Say no more,” Regulus interrupted in English, holding up his hands in the dimly lit space. “That arse is in half my lessons. I’ve thought about kissing him just to shut him up.”“What! He’s been flirting with you?”“He flirts with everyone. Are you telling me he wasn’t flirting with you? I’m pretty sure he’s kissed at least half the year and some of second year as well. Though it may be more talk than actual snogging.”“Blimey, what’s up with him?”“Thinks he’s the shite,” Regulus said. “I don’t know how he ended up in Ravenclaw, brains like his. He’s lucky he’s got a pretty face. He’s going to need it.”They settled under the covers. “I read the translation. Who is Beedle the Bard?” Severus asked. “Didn’t your parents tell you his stories? Everyone knows them.”“Obviously not everyone,” said Severus, very much annoyed. But Regulus seemed not to notice. “Sirius used to tell me his stories to help me fall asleep. He would rub my back or comb his fingers through my hair and tell me about Babbity Rabbity or the Fountain of Fair Fortune.”Severus was silent for a moment. “Are you saying he’s better at this stuff than I am? Because I don’t need you to tell me that to know it’s true.”“What? No, I meant . . . sorry, I figured everyone knew Beedle’s tales. And I don’t expect you to be Sirius for me. Just being together, having company, helps.” Regulus finished in a rush. Severus felt like half the time he was being measured up against the memory of Black. It got old. “Since I don’t know who this Beedle git is, can you please explain what he has to do with soul bonds?” “Right, well you read as much as I did. Beedle wrote a book of kids stories, but some of the stories he wrote didn’t get published. And one has links to soul bonds.”“But it’s only a story—it isn’t fact.”“I think there’s so little to go on where soul bonds are concerned, even myths are given weight as reliable resources.”“So is there a way to get a copy of the story mentioned, ‘The Tale of the Falcon’ or something?”It was dark, but Severus felt Regulus shake his head.“I don’t know; the lost scrolls weren’t published. Though clearly someone knows the story. Why don’t you ask those Flamels you met with?” Regulus suggested. “Maybe.” Severus knew he had acted like a bit of an arse when he had met the Flamels. He didn’t think they would be jumping over themselves to assist him. The boys lay in bed, silent for a few minutes. “Hey Regulus?”“Mmhhm?” “Don’t kiss that Lockhart fellow.”Regulus yawned. “I don’t see why you care.”And to that, Severus had no reply.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Chapter XIX
Xenophilius Lovegood
Lily was bouncing with excitement the following Thursday. “Finally, finally it’s happening!” she said. “What’s happening?” Severus asked. He had intended to begin by interrogating her about Lupin. Had the boy missed lessons yet? Was this a regular occurrence? Was there a pattern to the absences? Lupin definitely seemed to fall ill more often than the typical student. Did Lily have any speculations about this? “Pandora’s boyfriend, his name—wait for it—is Xenophilius.” Lily let out a snort and clapped her hand over her mouth. Regulus raised his eyebrows. “Pandora is dating Xenophilius Lovegood?”“You know him?” Severus said. “I know of him, his family are purebloods but they run in a different social circle. They’re muggle sympathizers. Anyway, Xenophilius is a character.”“Well apparently he’s been extremely busy this year with an internship at the Daily Prophet because I asked if he would meet with me months ago, but he hasn’t been able to until now. Pandora told us he’s obsessed with Soul magic.”“Neat, when are you meeting?” asked Regulus. “I was hoping we could all go together. This weekend, Sunday at four o’clock. Can you two get away?”Severus thought, club was on Sunday, but not until the evening. He thought he could get away from the other boys without too much hassle. “We can figure out some excuse,” Regulus said. “Talking with Xenophilius should be entertaining if not informative.”“Is he really that bad?” “Just wait . . .”Sunday arrived and Lily had told Severus they would meet in the empty classroom close to the base of the astronomy tower. Severus and Regulus made the excuse of visiting the greenhouses to examine plants which were certain to crop up on end of year exams.Instead they rushed up toward the astronomy tower and slipped behind the dark wood door which sat to the right of the stairwell. Inside the room they found Lily already waiting with Pandora and a most peculiar looking young man. He had long white blonde hair which he had loosely braided down his back. His robes were almost blindingly bright—yellow fabric patterned with tiny colorful fruits. Pandora leapt to her feet and flung herself at Regulus with a squeal of delight. She gripped him in a tight hug. “Regulus, I’ve wanted to meet you for so long.” “Thank you for the boxes. They’re amazing.” Pandora let go and wiped at her eyes. “I know we aren’t here to talk about you, but Regulus . . .” Regulus smiled. “I already know Pandora. You don’t need to say anything.” Pandora, whose eyes were still very wet nodded and pulled Regulus to her again. “You intend to walk the Dark path?” she asked.“Of course.” Pandora held Regulus at arm’s length and said to him in French, “Tu trouveras toujours de la lumière dans ta vie Regulus. Toujours.” Regulus gave her his widest smile, it reached all the way to his eyes.“Can we get on with this meeting?” the man said lazily. “Xeno, sois patient.” Xenophilius gave Pandora an exasperated look, then picked up his wand and began waving it in a complicated motion. Soon bright flowers made entirely of smoke blossomed from the tip and floated into the air around them. This of course had the desired effect of drawing everyone’s attention. The flowers floated in midair, looking nearly solid, but when Severus reached out to touch one, it immediately vaporized in a multicolored cloud. “Those are beautiful,” Lily said. “I thought I felt a Wattleguard spirit in the room,” Xenophilius said blithely. “This should keep it distracted while we talk. I’m summoning some tilling chimes as well for the Flugen Sprites. I can see them getting restless.” Severus was completely flummoxed; it sounded as if Xenophilius was speaking a different language. The man waved his wand again and a beautiful sound filled the room, the very delicate chiming of a tiny silver instrument which floated in the air near a narrow window. Pandora smiled widely at her boyfriend and went to sit next to him in a rickety desk chair. “The door has been imperturbed,” she said. “Everyone, this is Xenophilius.” Severus met the man’s eyes briefly before giving a small nod. Pandora pointed to each of them in turn. “And here we have Regulus, Severus, and of course you met Lily.”Xenophilius had a thoughtful expression on his face. “Pandora these boys may be possessed. I cannot see their auras.”Pandora looked thoughtful; not alarmed as Severus himself felt. “I doubt it Xeno, they’re only kids, and I doubt they have been summoning spirits.”Xenophilius then looked between himself and Regulus with narrowed eyes. “Where are your auras then, boys?”“Um,” said Regulus as Severus shifted nervously. “I don’t know what you mean,” Severus said. “Your aura, your aura. Your life essence. I can see them.” Xenophilius was definitely annoyed with the lack of recognition on Severus and Regulus’ part. “She”—Xenophilius pointed at Lily—“is blindingly bright. But you two are showing the effects of possession, a spirit is feeding on your aura to strengthen itself. Why else would you be so dull?”“Could it be the Occlumency?” Regulus asked. “You’re both Occluding?” Xenophilius said loudly. The younger boys nodded. “I have never encountered someone who wasn’t a fully qualified wizard Occluding to that level, let alone two of you. The implications . . .” he was muttering to himself now. “But if they’re possessed, perhaps they’re merely unaware of the spirits inhabiting them.”Pandora heaved a sigh. “Can you two stop Occluding for a moment? I don’t think we’re going to get anywhere until Xeno confirms you’re not being possessed.”Severus tentatively lowered his mental walls. He felt lighter, but also very exposed. From the look on Regulus’ face, he was also feeling vulnerable. But Xenophilius smiled and clapped his hands. “Oh marvelous, marvelous.” He examined both of them intensely. It was rather uncomfortable. But nothing probed into Severus’ mind, for which he was grateful. “Fascinating, very fascinating.” Xenophilius was now fixated on Severus. “Your aura is most peculiar lad.” Then he looked at Lily, who was watching with a curious expression on her face. “I have never seen a Dark aura woven with such a luminescent light. Intriguing.”Pandora patted Xenophilius gently on the arm. “Xeno, let’s chat, shall we?”Xenophilius looked a bit disappointed—as if he wanted to keep staring at Severus for hours—but he nodded and looked away. Severus immediately brought his mental walls back up, and though a numb heaviness settled upon him, he also felt safer. “Xenophilius,” Lily began, “we’d like to know what you can tell us about Soul magic.”“The topic is far too expansive for a single conversation. Soul magic is the most mysterious branch of magic.”“What about Light magic?” asked Lily. “Light magic has fallen out of recognition,” said Xenophilius sadly. “A beautiful and terrifying magical source. Dark magic remains a common practice, but you would be hard pressed to find an openly practicing Light wizard.”“Please, can you tell us what you know, an overview perhaps?” Lily arranged her face in her most pleading expression.Xenophilius nodded. Then he began.“Soul magic is connected to Light magic, as Blood magic is connected to Dark magic. The source of Dark magic is separate from human beings, at least in the sense that Dark magic can be summoned in its own right. A wizard can use the Dark as a source for greater strength, clarity, endurance, anything, and it does not weaken the Dark. The source of Dark magic is infinite. “Light magic, on the other hand, draws upon magic found in every living entity on earth. Even plants, even the soil in which plants grow is laced with Light magic. The source of Light magic is not infinite, though wizards have never exhausted the supply. But it is connected to life. The theory is, if there is no life, there is no Light magic. “And when a wizard draws upon Light magic, the strength they draw is gifted by all living entities. The entities are ever so slightly weakened by their sacrifice, which regenerates in time. But it is possible to concentrate the source of Light magic and draw so much magic out of a single entity or a group of entities the lifeforce is drawn out as well. To perform the most powerful Light spells, one would be most successful using this method. “Distinct from Light magic, Soul magic refers to magic sourced directly from humans, magical creatures, and animals. Beings and creatures with souls, in other words. Every living thing with blood flowing through its body is a source of Soul magic. The other thing these beings and creatures have in common is the ability to love, or to exist in community. Soul magic does not draw upon the lifeforce of a living entity like Light magic does, instead it draws upon that which stems from the soul.”At this point, Regulus interrupted. “You said Light magic can draw out a being’s lifeforce completely, and kill it. Is the Light feeding on the being’s soul? Does it suck out the soul?”“You are thinking of dementors. Light magic does not remove a creature’s soul even if it draws so much magic the creature dies. The lifeforce and the soul are two separate entities. And dementors are the perfect way to illustrate the difference. A person who receives a dementor’s kiss can continue to live, but their soul is lost. A person who dies—their lifeforce has been extinguished—but many believe their soul still exists in some realm.”Then Lily spoke up. “If Light magic can kill things, and Dark magic’s powersource is infinite, why do people think of the Dark magic as evil?”“Ah, clever girl.” Xenophilius waggled his eyebrows at Lily. “You’re absolutely right, the ability to use Light magic is in itself dangerous and potentially deadly, but the distinction comes in how each type of magic can be used. Light magic can only be used for protection, healing, and in ways which serve others. “Dark magic is a less controversial source of magic, but can be used to do harm, even gruesome and violent acts. The use of Blood magic takes the Dark Arts to a morally questionable place as well, since Blood magic always involves blood, and blood needs a source.”“And isn’t blood part of the lifeforce which supplies Light magic?” said Regulus. “Correct, herein lies the most overlooked truth of all magic.” Xenophilius nodded. “Light magic and Dark magic are two ends of a spectrum.” He summoned a piece of parchment and a quill. Severus watched him draw a long line, then he labeled one end Dark and the other end Light. “All spells fall somewhere along this spectrum. What modern wizards have forgotten is this spectrum”—Xenophilius picked up the parchment and touched the Dark and Light ends together to make a ring—“is a circle where Dark and Light actually meet.”Severus was thinking about his soul mark and the significance of Xenophilius creating another hollow ring. He thought about the seasonal festival celebrations he had attended this year. He heard Bellatrix’s voice, “A circle has no beginning and never ends.”“So a Light spell can only be used in benevolent ways but its source of power is life itself. And it has the possibility to draw so much magic it kills the source,” said Lily thoughtfully. “And Dark magic is associated with evil deeds because the magic can be put to use in evil ways, but the source is not inherently evil,” said Regulus. Severus looked at Lily and he could almost see the wheels turning in her brain. Lily had insisted Dark magic was evil. She may have come to terms with Severus dipping his finger into the source, but this was going to rattle her beliefs, he was certain. And he was grateful. Severus could touch the Dark—he could feel it—and it wasn’t evil. “Magic is not evil, people take magic and do evil things,” Xenophilius said simply. “But what if Light magic kills —”“Would it not be seen as a necessary sacrifice? If Light magic can only be used to save or protect or heal, even if someone or something lost its life in the process, would it not be worth it?”“It might be worth it to the one saved, but what of the one who died,” said Severus.“But then, who decides what is good or bad, right and wrong?” Lily said with wide eyes.“And this is why the world is a far more complicated place than most people realize. You are a Gryffinor, correct? This realization will be particularly difficult for you to come to terms with. The world is not black and white. Is the wizard who steals a loaf of bread to feed his starving children a criminal? Or is the wizard whose children die of starvation a murderer? Is the wizard who calls upon the Dark through a sacrificial ritual to help him find employment so he can earn gold to buy food for his children an evil man?”“But . . . but . . .” Lily looked pleading again. “People have a choice. They get to choose how to act, to be evil or not, to steal or find honest work, to be kind or cruel. Those things are a choice.”“They are, and they are not. Tell me, is there nothing in your life which you can confidently say was not your choice, but you have to make the best of it anyway?”Severus thought of Petunia, Lily’s insufferable sister. Petunia’s presence in Lily’s life was not Lily’s choice, and it was not Lily’s choice to be a witch. Perhaps if she could have chosen, she would have picked her sister and life as a muggle instead of losing her sister by being magical. And Severus thought of his and Lily’s soul bond, which was neither of their choice. It was something they were both going to be dealing with for the rest of their lives. Lily looked like she was about to cry. Even Occluding, his pull toward her was palpable. He scooted his chair right next to hers, wrapped an arm around her shoulders and took her hand in his. He felt her physically melt into him and they both let out a relieved breath. He hoped their behavior wasn’t too suspicious. “Can you tell us more about Light spells? Do Light witches and wizards still exist?” said Severus, trying to take the conversation in a more productive, less emotional direction.“Of course Light witches and wizards still exist, even if they are not formally recognized. I cannot say for certain but I think people with Light affinities are drawn toward professions which use Light magic the heaviest, healing being the obvious one. Once Light witches and wizards began shunning ritualistic Light magic practices, so much knowledge was lost.”“Why did they?” Regulus asked. “Why did Light magic fall out of common practice? Or at least openly identifiable practice? Because the Light magical community did not want to defend the morally grey nature of Light magic. The Light magic which is still commonly practiced never involves drawing upon a single source, therefore it is not viewed as morally questionable. “Besides, Healing is an extremely important magical field. I don’t think anyone would advocate for abolishing Healing practices on the argument it draws magic from the surrounding lifeforce. When the source is drawn upon universally, it is not even noticeable. “The dichotomy between Light and Dark grew when Light wizards declared it immoral to ignore the moral implications of both types of magic. They made a stand by stepping away from the purest and most powerful Light practices, instead settling on a more generic approach. “But the Dark followers refused to step away from their magic source merely on principle, arguing it was a pure magical source which did not draw upon other beings involuntarily. To which the Light wizards responded by saturating the public in news of dark deeds completed using Dark magic. Instead of the source being the point of contention, the acts themselves were. And not unjustly so in some cases. “Dark magic also takes a toll on the soul. Evil deeds in particular. The darkness is not as benign as some would preach it to be. But it takes a person choosing to commit evil acts for their well-being to be compromised.”“What about the patronus charm? We don’t know much about it, but it seems to be strongly linked to Light magic,” said Severus, Lily now had her head resting on his shoulder. If anyone else thought this was odd, they did not show it. “The patronus, which is introduced at Hogwarts during N.E.W.T. Defense classes, is a beautiful merging of Light and Soul magic. It is formally classified as a Light spell, and those who have declared for the Dark cannot cast it. “For those who are more knowledgeable about the nuances of Soul magic, the patronus is a spell which draws straight from the caster’s soul. It requires a significant store of positive emotion, usually conjured through a memory, which is merely another way to say it requires love. It is a good example of how all Soul magic is Light magic but not all Light magic is Soul magic.”“But what does a patronus do?” Regulus said.“Oh, I apologize, I thought you knew. A patronus is a type of shield. It is most often used against Dementors. As a shield, it will stand between the caster and certain Dark creatures. It is useless against spells. And it cannot physically fight. Instead it will project an aura of light—not actual light mind, but the idea of light. Anything which withdraws from light may be held at bay by a patronus.“Think of it as sending a reflection of your soul outside your body so you can see it and it can actually serve you in the physical world.”“Can you cast a patronus?” Lily whispered. If she was feeling anything close to what Severus was feeling, it was no wonder she stayed glued to his side and subdued. He was completely overwhelmed. “Yes.”“Will you show us?”Xenophilius pulled out his wand, “ Expecto Patronum! ” A bright silver shape burst out of the tip of his wand. It was a bird, and it soared around the room in great sweeps of its wings. “It’s a raven,” said Xenophilius. The raven settled on a desk and tucked in its wings. “It’s beautiful,” said Regulus. The raven gave a silent caw, and then vanished, leaving behind nothing but an amplified feeling of darkness. Severus leaned forward, grabbing the slip of parchment and quill. He drew a small circle, then pushed the parchment toward Xenophilius. “Does this symbol mean anything to you?” he asked. Regulus’ eyes widened. Xenophilius kept his face neutral, and gave nothing away. “Yes, it does.”“What is it?” Severus barely dared to breathe. “It’s a soul mark. You are a believer?”Lily started and sat up straight. She glanced at Severus questioningly but he gave her a tiny shake of his head. “I am, we all are.”Xenophilius then tugged at one of the chains adorning his neck and withdrew a pendant from under his shirt. It looked like an eye. A circle which held a triangle, which held another circle, with a vertical line running through the center of it. “You are certainly familiar with this then.” Xenophilius held up the strange pendant. “No actually, I’m not.”“But how can you know of the soul mark and not of the Deathly Hallows? Usually it is the other way around. I’ve never met someone who believed but was not also on the Quest.”None of this made any sense to Severus so he gave a shrug and hoped Xenophilius would explain himself.“Most peculiar,” the man said to himself, he examined the pendant, then tucked it back under his robes.“I will not reveal the Hallows to children. Perhaps someday you will be presented with the knowledge, if you are meant to join the Quest, but it is not for seekers to share such information with ignorant bystanders.”Severus felt this was a bit harsh. “What of the soul mark then? How do you know of it?”“I have been a believer since I was young. My mother told me ‘The Tale of the Fallen Eagle.’ It was one of my favorite bedtime stories.” Xenophilius tapped his chin. “I know of the story by title, but I don’t know what it contains.”Xenophilius blanched. “Dear boy, you are coming at all of this backwards. Believers are born from the story, not the other way around.”In exasperation Severus said, “Well can you inform us of the tale at the very least, seeing as we’ve revealed ourselves as believers?”“I will think on it,” said Xenophilius. Severus rolled his eyes and the gesture was not missed. Xenophilius dropped his lofty air. “I don’t know how you find yourself privy to one of the most ancient magical secrets but I assure you, I’ll have no part in providing information which is highly guarded to curious children.”“We aren’t only curious,” Lily burst out. “We . . .” But she seemed unable to find a way to validate their interest without giving away the fact they were actually bonded. If only Xenophilius knew he was in the presence of two soul bonded people, Severus thought the man would treat them very differently. “Please, we’d really like to know the story,” said Lily. “I will —” But Pandora interrupted her boyfriend. “Xeno will write you the story as he remembers it, we’ll get it to you soon,” she said. Xenophilius gave her a very nasty look, Pandora placidly smiled back. “It’s just a story, Xeno. It isn’t even real.”Xenophilius opened his mouth, no doubt to argue with Pandora about the legitimacy of ‘The Tale of the Fallen Eagle’ but Pandora quickly stood. She seemed pleased to have distracted Xenophilius. “We should be going,” she said kindly. “We’ll get you the scroll when Xeno is done.”“Thank you, both of you for taking the time to meet,” said Lily. Regulus and Severus nodded. Severus wasn’t sure he liked Xenophilius much, but Pandora was still being as helpful as she could. Pandora grabbed Xenophilius’ hand and he inclined his head as she tugged him from the room. The conjured smoke flowers vanished and beautiful chiming ceased. The remaining three shared a surprised look. “That ended abruptly,” Regulus said. “Yes, but it was certainly informative. He knew so much about Light magic and Soul magic,” said Lily. “Do you think we can believe everything he told us? Pandora herself said the story was only a story. And I remember when she first told us about him. She made out as if she didn’t agree with him in all his beliefs,” Severus said. “Considering we know soul bonding is a real thing, I think we can take his word seriously,” Lily said. “I certainly didn’t get the impression he was trying to be deceitful. Some of his theories might be rather fantastical, we get to decide what we want to believe.”“And what was that about the Deathly Hallows?” Regulus asked. “Sounds a bit grim doesn’t it?”“It only sounds grim because of the death bit and hallows rhymes with gallows. Hallow actually means holy when applied to an object. So the Deathly Hallows’ would imply”—Lily paused momentarily—“objects holy to death, or objects revered by death.”“Still heavy,” Severus said. Lily shrugged. “It all depends on how you view death.”“I try not to think about death, thanks.” Severus said with a frown. “I wonder if we can find a book which talks about these things in more detail. I’m going to check Flourish and Blotts the next time I’m in Diagon Alley.”“They don’t have many old or out of print books though,” Regulus said. “You should check Townsend Tomes in Knockturn Alley.”“Oh, I can’t go down there! It’s really creepy.” Lily shivered. Regulus shrugged. “I’ll look if I’m in the area. I don’t think there’s a huge rush, it sounds like most of it’s really advanced magic at any rate.”Severus had let his mind wander a bit and suddenly remembered the conversation he had overheard down by the lake. Before they went their separate ways for the day, he wanted to at least try to get some information out of Lily. “Lily, I meant to ask the other day, has Lupin been absent from lessons lately?”Lily frowned. “Maybe, why?”He decided to be honest. “I overheard Potter, and them talking about it last week. It sounded fishy.”“Remus’ mum is ill; he goes home to visit her a lot,” said Lily, crossing her arms tightly. “Lupin doesn’t look too well himself sometimes,” Severus said. “Do they have the same affliction?”“I don’t know, but she’s a muggle and can’t get magical treatment. It’s a really sore subject for Remus. If my mum were that sick, I’d be a right mess.”Severus had heard all he needed to for the moment. Something was most certainly up with Remus Lupin, it was only a matter of finding out what it was.
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Chapter XX
The Tale of the Fallen Eagle
Exams began the first full week of June. Severus didn’t envy the fifth and seventh years, sitting their O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s, respectively. The second year exams were only slightly challenging. Severus found he was generally over prepared. Instead of making them duel, like Professor Hillburn had the previous year, Professor Saaverda gave them a written exam covering the spells and creatures they had learned about. She then pulled them into the classroom individually to test their practical skills like most of the other teachers. In all the hustle of the previous month, Severus had completely missed the end of the quidditch season. Slytherin had flattened Hufflepuff at the beginning of May, which practically secured their hold on the Quidditch Cup. But there had been a race for second place, and Gryffindor ended up claiming the runner up position after narrowly beating Ravenclaw. Apparently the Gryffindor keeper fell victim to a particularly powerful furnunclulus curse the morning of the match and was not fully healed by the time the game began. Regulus reported his entire face was still covered in white and red boils during the game. Severus supposed he had attended Slytherin’s celebration party after winning the Quidditch Cup, but honestly the month of May was a bit of a blur. When a scroll arrived for him at breakfast on the ninth of June, Severus wondered who it could be from, as he wasn’t expecting any post. He gave the delivery owl a bit of bacon before sliding the scroll from the mail holster and unrolled it curiously.
Please share this with your friends. —X. Lovegood
Severus quickly tucked the scroll into his book bag before anyone started asking questions. “Anyone fancy flying today?” asked Piers. “Did you see the notice in the common room, the broom shed is going to be unlocked all weekend.”As the fifth and seventh years still had a week of testing ahead of them, it seemed the adults were looking for any way to entertain the younger students who had finished their exams already. “I’ll go,” Regulus said. He didn’t look it, but Severus knew he was bursting with excitement. “We might be able to scrape together a quidditch match,” Nye said excitedly. “There are practice balls, right?”“Sure are,” said Evan. He was actually on the Slytherin quidditch team. “I’m in,” added Barty. “Me too,” several other voices chimed. “I’ll see if Bertram is available,” Evan said. Bertram Aubrey was the other third year who played on the Slytherin team. “What about you, Sev, fancy a game?”Severus grimaced; he most certainly did not want to play quidditch with the other boys, but he also wasn’t sure about being the only one who didn’t join in. “Let’s see how many people turn up, if you need me, I can play.” He didn’t mention he hadn’t flown on a broom since flying lessons ended in the middle of first year. It turned out Severus’ abysmal flying skills were not necessary, eight Slytherins and an equally large group of Ravenclaws turned up to fly. The Slytherins convinced them to play a pick up match of quidditch, minus the snitch. Severus was extremely relieved and he watched from the sidelines with the extra students who would rotate in occasionally. Seeing Regulus fly was actually worth the entire morning spent on the quidditch pitch. Regulus was using an old school broom, as most of the other players were. Usually only those who were on the quidditch teams had their own brooms. The broom was slow and bulky, but Regulus maneuvered it with a grace even those with expensive brooms didn’t touch. Severus was unwillingly reminded of how Potter flew in the first quidditch game of the season. Regulus was a natural. With a sigh of regret, Severus finally accepted Regulus would likely end up on the Slytherin quidditch team. Whether it was next year or not, he would have to wait and see. “You are excellent at flying,” Severus told him in Spanish when they were sitting on the edge of the Forbidden Forest later that afternoon. Regulus was making slow but steady progress with the language.“Gracias. I can’t wait to fly on my racing broom.” Severus decided to be polite and feign interest in the subject, as Regulus’ cheeks were pink with excitement. “¿Qué modelo es?” What model is it? “Una Nimbus 1000!”Severus had no context for what this broom model meant, but he smiled and nodded. “Very cool.” “El único problema es,” then Regulus switched to English—he got frustrated trying to use Spanish when he had a lot to say—“I play seeker. I don’t know how closely you were watching earlier, but I’m not great at keeping or beating. I’m okay as a chaser, but not anything to write home about. But I can fly fast and I can usually spot the snitch when I’m in the stands. The problem is, Slytherin already has a seeker. Until Narcissa graduates, there isn’t a spot for me on the team.”Severus felt a little leap of joy, which he was only slightly ashamed of. It seemed Regulus had another year at Hogwarts before he could join the team. “I might tell the Captain I want to try for a place on the reserve squad. They don’t get to practice with the team, unless they’re called upon. But it’s better than nothing. Now, where’s the scroll? Let’s see what Xeno was so reluctant to share with us.”Severus pulled out the tight parchment scroll and unrolled it. Regulus grabbed the top of the scroll and Severus held the bottom. Together they read:
The Tale of the Fallen Eagle
Once every century, Death is cloaked in mortal flesh to walk among the living so as to better understand the bitter tang of mortality.
Death strode down the frozen rutted track that led to the tiny settlement. She was wrapped in a cloak of deep blue, the tiny snowflakes which fell upon it glittered like stars. In the village, a pub offering warmth and drink was mercifully open.
Death lowered her hood to order a pint at the bar, where she sat next to a woman who was weeping. Death inquired about her sorrow and the woman told her it was her son, he was dying. He was only twenty years old, but he had fallen ill and thus far, no one had been able to find a cure.
Death sighed, this was supposed to be her day off. But she was sympathetic and offered to visit the man. The mother was taken by this kindness and led Death to a small dwelling on the edge of the village.
When Death looked down upon the sick man, she felt an intense melding. As if half of her had been missing and was now found. Death knew this man was her soulmate, they were made for each other, she would love him for eternity.
Death stole the man away, under the pretense of healing him. She returned to the land of the dead, where she did indeed heal him. Upon his miraculous recovery, the man looked into Death’s eyes and knew he loved her, she was his missing half. They lay together and in the morning Death was with child.
But the Fates were not pleased. Not only had Death brought a mortal into the land of the endless, she had healed the man, against the weaving of the Fates.
The Fates called Death and her soulmate before them to pass judgment. They marked them with identical symbols of eternity, binding them together now and forever to feel the pain of their inevitable separation as punishment.
In time, Death gave birth to a child, a baby girl. But as the child was not an endless, the Fates threatened to abolish her. They did not know her father was of the magical race. He used magic to conceal his daughter and returned to the mortal world with her.
Thus father and daughter lived out their human days, the man constantly longing for his soulmate Death. Death herself was heartbroken to lose them both. She felt their absence in every breath—in every step—in every brush of mortal skin she touched as she collected those whose allotted time had elapsed.
When her lover’s lifetime had expired, and she went to finally reunite with him, she found nothing but the eternity mark scorched into a stone near where he had fallen. As further punishment for her meddling, the Fates had sent the man directly to the heavens, where he would shine in the night sky forevermore.
Death was driven mad by grief.
With her invisibility cloak, she returned to walk among the mortals every night just for a chance to walk the same ground and breathe the same air as the one she had lost. And in doing so her work suffered. Humans experienced their passing as a terrifying ordeal and were made to find their own way to the land of the dead.
Instead of returning to her work, Death became reckless. On a misty night, she confronted three men who had used magic to cross a river. Death felt cheated.
Out of spite, Death gave them powerful gifts. But the third man was clever. After losing her cloak of invisibility, Death could no longer aimlessly wander the mortal lands. She set to weaving a new cloak and returned to her work, gently collecting those whose time had elapsed.
The mark the Fates had bestowed was still etched upon her skin. An eternal reminder of her lost love.
Centuries passed, and Death’s longing for her mate never waned. Unable to reunite with her beloved, she watches him journey across the night sky, her fallen eagle. To mortals, he is known as Vega.
“The eternity mark is a circle?” asked Regulus.“Must be.” Severus found the story fascinating, but confusing. He didn’t see what Xenophilius had been so protective of. It was a fairytale, meant to instruct. Don’t mess with fate was the message he had gleaned. “So Death and her soulmate were marked by the Fates? That certainly isn’t how you and Lily bonded.”“It’s a story, Regulus.”“But the rest of it fits,” Regulus said. “Beedle must have had an obsession with death because ‘The Tale of the Three Brothers’ is also about meeting Death. And this story even mentions Death handing over her own invisibility cloak, which happens in the other story.”“Do you know the story well?”“Sure, I’ve heard it loads.”“Will you tell me?”And Regulus did. He told Severus about the three men who bested Death, and received three gifts in return. Of the man who wanted the most powerful wand in the world. Of the man who wanted to resurrect the dead. Of the man who only wanted to be left alone by Death. And how the first two men met untimely ends. But the third man lived to a ripe old age, then passed the cloak of invisibility down to his son. And greeted Death as a friend, departing the earth as equals. “Two stories about Death written by Beedle, it’s curious,” said Severus. “But Death can’t walk among the living. Never has and never will.”“Maybe it’s symbolism. You know, not literal but figurative.”“I don’t know, thinking about it is giving me a headache.” Severus rubbed his temples. “At least we know the story. We know it may have been inspired by someone in the Peverell family. It doesn’t change the fact I’m going to be dealing with the bond forever. Maybe the Peverell’s possessed exceptionally powerful magic and somehow enabled the first bond?”“Yeah, and they only realized the dangers once it was too late.”They fell silent, contemplating the secrecy surrounding soul bonds and the two stories. In the shade of the huge trees edging the forest, the ground was cool. Severus ran his hand along the gnarled root of a tree. “I’ve been thinking about Dark magic,” Severus found himself saying. “The summer equinox is happening right before we leave for summer holiday. There are instructions on how to declare in the Blood magic book you gave me. “I thought everyone had to declare on Yule, but anyone can complete the rites at anytime. The book said the initial declaration of intent and the final declaration need to be completed during a cyclical festival.”Regulus nodded. “It’s unconventional to do it on your own, but certainly possible. And it’s even more unconventional to use a Light festival to do a powerful Dark rite, but it should work.”Severus couldn’t explain it, but ever since Xenophilius had said his aura was a curious mix of Dark and Light, he had felt a resurgence to begin walking the Dark path. And to begin the journey on a Light festival somehow seemed the ideal time. He didn’t want anyone else to know this however. Somehow he didn’t think the older students would approve of his nontraditional choices. Regulus’ voice broke through Severus’ reverie. “The ceremony Sirius did on Yule, it was part of our traditional Black family declaration rites. I’ll do the same rituals. But you can follow the generic rites, they are simpler, and only require a witness.”“About that, I wanted to ask if you would be my witness.” Severus felt nervous once the words had left his mouth. “Of course! Just so you know, a declared Dark witch or wizard would be more powerful —”“I don’t care, you’re the only person I want and you’re extremely powerful, Regulus, even if you haven’t declared yet.”Regulus gave him a thoughtful look, then smiled. “Okay, I’ve read the book, but I need a reminder of the rituals. You can’t do your initial and final declaration on the same day, I know that much. Besides, it would be far too much strain on your magic.”Severus nodded. “I’ll do the initial declaration on summer solstice. Then next fall I can do the other rites and the final declaration. Maybe the final declaration could happen on Yule?”“Oh, I like that idea. Though it would be rather public if you did it then. You have time to decide.”So Severus and Regulus set to prepare for Severus’ rite of intent, which would take place the night before they rode the Hogwarts Express back to London. Severus and Lily spent as much time together outside as they could, disillusioned for the most part. But for this conversation he wanted them to have complete privacy and be unspelled. So he told Lily to meet him at La Sala the morning of the end of term banquet. Once they had put the silencing and locking spells in place, Lily crawled into his lap and wrapped her arms around him. He ran a hand through her red hair and held her close, full of the euphoric feeling being in contact provided both of them. “I need to talk to you,” Severus said in Spanish. “I’m listening.” “I am going to declare for the dark.”Lily nodded against his shoulder. “I expected you to.”“I mean I am going to begin the process tonight. It is summer solstice.” “Oh.”“Regulus is going to be my witness and it will be just the two of us. The summer solstice is an unconventional festival to use. Dark magic is at its weakest.”“Why not wait?” “Because this is how it is supposed to be. I can feel it.”Lily was quiet for a long time before whispering, “Can I come out with you?” Severus was taken aback. He had hoped Lily would accept his decision. He didn’t expect her to want to join in on the proceedings. “I need to check with Regulus. It is a dark rite. It might not be safe for you.”Lily nodded into his shoulder. They stayed wrapped around each other in their hideaway until lunch. “Summer will be nice,” Lily said as they walked, very slowly, down the deserted corridor hand in hand. “Yes, time for us to just be. Can’t wait.”“No magic though.”“No magic. But no magical nonsense either.”“If you’re referring to the most recent attacks mentioned in the Prophet, I hardly think the world will stop turning simply because we aren’t at school. If we don’t stay up on the news, who knows what we’ll learn when we come back in the fall.”“Well I don’t want to read about it,” huffed Severus. “It’s depressing.”“It’s reality.”Lily then stopped and faced him. “Sev, I’m not an idiot. I know your friends’ families likely support him, that man everyone whispers about. Regulus told me himself that his parents do. Do you . . . are you . . .” It seemed Lily could not find the words. “I don’t know,” he whispered. “Lily, I don’t know what to do. You know how I feel about muggles and muggle-borns. I may not like my old man, but I know he is the exception. I don’t hate muggles. But . . .” “But what?” Lily’s voice had turned icy. “But we are more powerful than them. And we’re the ones in hiding. I have never been okay with that. Mi mamá won’t even use her wand to defend herself. It’s mad. And if the Dark Lord is using Dark magic, how will he be defeated? Dark magic is more powerful than other forms of magic. And people are saying he’s the most powerful wizard ever. If he wins, and I’m on the losing side, how will I be able to protect you?”“You don’t need to protect me.”“Maybe not magically, but politically . . . you can’t challenge a wizard like him. You’re a powerful muggle-born, and you’re only going to get more powerful. What if you’re targeted? What if someone tries to kill muggle-borns. If you die, it would end both of us.”“So you would, what, bargain for my life?”“Would you not do the same if I was muggle-born and you were not? For both our sakes?”“I don’t like it. You’re thinking too skeptically.”“You haven’t heard the things I have.” Lily narrowed her eyes at him. “I will do whatever it takes to protect us.” Because it was an ‘us.’ His life was linked with Lily’s. As if he needed another reason to fight for them; if she died, he was as good as dead himself. His Slytherin self-preservation instincts would protect both of them. For if he allowed himself to be compromised, Lily was as good as dead. It might not be ideal, but they would figure it out. He would do everything in his power to see to it. Lily would be safe, either by being on the winning side of the war or through his protection. Severus continued. “Besides, war isn’t coming to Hogwarts. The castle is far too well protected. Dumbledore is here. We still have five years before we’re out in the real world.” Lily blinked back tears and Severus pulled her into a crushing hug. “It’s going to be okay, Lily. It’s going to be okay,” he whispered.
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Chapter XXI
A Rite of Intent
The end of year feast found the great hall bedecked in silver and green. Severus noticed Professor McGonagall’s smile was rather strained as she congratulated Professor Slughorn on yet another year coming top of the school in the House Cup. And he gets the credit for all our hard work, Severus thought bitterly. But the food was fantastic, as usual. Severus enjoyed watching the silver and green firework display which took place before the puddings appeared. The sparkling snake which threaded its way through the floating candles was spectacular. Professor Dumbledore may be biased against Slytherin, but it certainly didn’t keep him from going all out with magic for the celebration. The snake was joined by a sparkling black and white badger, a bronze eagle, and a gold lion. The four animals descended from the ceiling to pad, fly, slither, and prowl along each of the house tables. Students laughed and pointed in delight. Eventually the animals made their way to the head table and soared up into the air once again, freezing in midair as a massive Hogwarts crest formed around them. The hall broke into uproarious applause. When the glittering display vanished, Dumbledore’s amplified voice filled the hall. “Tonight we celebrate the success of Slytherin house in taking the House Cup, but we are one school. I hope you each leave proud of all you have accomplished this year at Hogwarts. Congratulations to our graduating seventh years. May you all be as smart as a Ravenclaw, as loyal as a Hufflepuff, as determined as a Slytherin, and as brave as a Gryffindor.”Severus heard Bellatrix snort. “And always remember, Draco dormiens nunquam titillandus.”Cheers went up again from the packed hall. The puddings materialized on the tables and chatter once again filled the air as everyone stuffed themselves with delicious Hogwarts desserts. “Dumbledore’s days are numbered,” Bellatrix said, not bothering to keep her voice low. “When the Dark Lord takes over, he’ll instate a new Headmaster—one who isn’t a muggle sympathizer. One who will let the Dark Arts be taught again at Hogwarts. One who will clear the school of all its filth.”Severus kept his head down, and he felt Regulus, who was sitting next to him, twitch. Sometimes Severus forgot he had an ally in the daunting task of navigating whatever lay in store. He and Regulus rarely talked about the man himself, or politics in general. But Regulus loved Lily too. And he knew Regulus was carving a difficult path from himself, upholding his family’s name while befriending a muggle-born. Neither of them would be alone. Bellatrix was droning on about life when the Dark Lord was in charge. Severus gave Regulus a tiny shoulder nudge, and Regulus put his hand under the table. Severus gripped it tightly for a second, neither of them betraying anything to their peers. It would be okay. Everything would be okay. Regulus insisted they wait until midnight to venture down onto the grounds. He said Severus should at least honor the darkest part of the night on the lightest day of the year. They cast the Distinaverteo and Lateo Maxima on themselves, and put their spellwork to the first real test as they tiptoed through the dark corridors of the castle. The entrance hall was lit by two flaming torches flanking the massive wooden front doors. They shrunk back into the shadows to wait for Lily. A soft whistle alerted them to her presence, and all three of them lifted Distinaverteo so they could properly find each other.It was only just possible for Severus to see Regulus and Lily, especially in the low light. He suspected if someone didn’t know they were there, they would be missed entirely. But he was looking for them. And Severus knew exactly how they would appear, painted with the backdrop of whatever they were standing in front of. “Have you tried the doors?” asked Lily. “No, let’s go.”Severus strode forward and pushed at one of the doors. It didn’t budge. “Alohomora!” He tapped the door with his wand and it creaked open. “I hope we don’t get locked out,” Regulus whispered as they descended the stone steps and set off across the grass. Severus knew of a cave in the cliffs which wrapped around one side of the giant lake, so he led the way. The still water of the lake was painted with thousands of stars, reflecting the twinkling night sky. They moved into the cave and removed their disillusionment charms. Lily gave each of them a hug. “Thanks for letting me come,” she whispered. “I’m glad you are here.” He smiled at her. “Here watch, but you’ll need to catch me,” said Regulus. Lily and Severus moved in around him. A dim glow filled the cave, emanating from nowhere specifically. It felt bright, but Severus knew it was barely enough light to read by. Sure enough, Regulus lost control of his body, twitching as they lowered him to the gravelly ground. Severus took a moment to pull Blood Magic out of his bag. He flipped the book open to the dog eared page titled Declaration Rites .“Lumos?” asked Lily when Regulus regained consciousness. He nodded. “I haven’t practiced much yet—as you can tell.”Lily offered her hand and helped pull Regulus to his feet. “Do you think they’ll ever stop? They don’t happen much when we’re wielding anymore,” she said. Regulus shook his head. “Never with spells I know well. It’s only when I really relax and drop my mental walls to feel the magic that the episodes happen. So I can’t relax. I also had one when I got drunk on Halloween.”Lily looked flustered. “You never mentioned that! You shouldn’t be drinking, Regulus, you’re only twelve.” “I haven’t since.”“He never has them while sleeping though,” interrupted Severus. “You’d think if they happened when he was relaxed, they would happen at night. But not that I’ve noticed.” They had spent every night together since mastering the necessary spells. No one seemed suspicious. And Regulus was now regularly sleeping curled against him, like a cat. He didn’t find it unpleasant, but he was certain he would know if Regulus began violently twitching in his sleep. “I’m going to try and do some research on . . . what was the muggle word?” asked Lily.“Seizures.”“Right, seizures, at our town’s library.” Severus scrunched his nose at her. “At the muggle library? What do you think you’re going to learn there?”Lily smacked him upside the head. “You can be so narrow minded sometimes. Muggles aren’t stupid drooling trolls. They’ve made tons of scientific discoveries. For crying out loud, you went to muggle primary.”“Selective memory retention,” said Severus. “Well, I’m going to look.”“Let’s get started,” Regulus said. No one argued, so Regulus and Severus stood facing each other. Though Regulus said Lily would be perfectly safe, Severus told her to back as far away as she could and stand against the grotto wall. Severus consulted the book to review the rite he had studied for weeks one final time, then set it down on the ground off to the side of where they were standing. He held his wand and drew it in a large circle above their heads. “Circulus initium non habet. Circulus interminabilis. Tenebras voco in brevissimam noctem.” A circle has no beginning. A circle never ends. I call the dark on the shortest night. Nothing happened for a few breaths. Then purple tendrils crept into the cave, and Severus let out a sigh of relief. He had done it. He had summoned the Dark. The Dark tendrils wrapped loosely around himself and Regulus, about waist height. They were criss-crossing each other in no distinct pattern and seemed to pulse ever so slightly. Severus had decided to do the rite in Spanish, he hoped the Dark wouldn’t mind.“I wish to walk the dark path. I am a child of the dark. I want the dark to work through me,” Severus declared. “I have brought water to mark the beginning of my journey.” Severus took a small vial of water out of his pocket and uncorked it. He poured the water onto the top of his head and felt the icy trickle as it slid down his face in thin streams. “I have brought earth to ground my journey.” He took a small pouch out of his pocket and reached in to grab some of the rich soil, sprinkling it at their feet. “I have brought air to carry me on my journey.” Severus withdrew a folded piece of parchment from his pocket, and carefully opened it, revealing a tiny white feather. He placed the feather in his palm and blew gently. The feather took flight, and he and Regulus watched it slowly settle at their feet. “I have brought fire to light my journey.” Severus pulled a small candle out and raised his wand. “Incendio.” The wick of the candle flared to life. He held the candle out to Regulus. “I have brought a brother to witness my intent.” Regulus took the candle and held it carefully. “I offer myself to the dark.” Severus then pulled the final item out of his pocket. A small silver dagger he had borrowed from the boy standing across from him. He gripped the dagger and drew it across his palm. Then clenched his fist, feeling the warm, wet blood as it spilled out of the wound. Several drops had already landed on the floor. Regulus held the candle out and Severus gripped it in his bloody hand. The wax was threatening to run over the rim of the candle. He dropped the dagger back into his pocket.“I ask the dark to know me.” He tilted the candle slightly and a few drops of wax fell to the ground. One of the purple tendrils of Dark magic unwound from the circle and wrapped itself around the hand holding the candle. Hot wax was now dripping down the side of the candle and onto his skin. He took a deep breath and tried to relax.“I ask the dark to teach me.” He tilted the candle again and more wax splattered on the floor. Another tendril moved to wrap itself around his head. “I ask the dark to carry me.” More drops of wax onto the floor, then several tendrils wrapped themselves around his torso. Suddenly Severus felt the familiar probing sensation in his mind, like someone was knocking, waiting to be let in. His instinct was to push them out. But it was as if the Dark whispered to him, you asked me to know you, let me in. Severus slowly lowered his mental walls. And Dark magic flowed into his mind. It was gentle, but powerful. He knew if he’d had to push it out, he would not have been able to. The Darkness sifted through his mind. Various memories floated to his consciousness, but faded quickly. Then the Darkness found the moment of his soul bonding. It pulled the memory to the forefront of his mind and pulsed with excitement. Severus was having a hard time paying attention to what was happening in the cave around him, but he heard Regulus exclaim in surprise. And then Lily’s panicked voice. “Sev! Sev!”But the magic in his mind told him not to worry—it was gentle, it was kind, it was only curious. The memory of the bond playing out in one part of his mind, he felt the warm presence of another person pressing against his back. Still holding the candle in one hand, he grabbed for the hand he knew would be by his side. He threaded his fingers together with Lily’s. And the purple magic seemed to grow brighter. You are mine, but you carry her light, a soothing voice said in his mind. She is blinding, but I am there, just barely. You are both my children. Severus let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. He could feel Lily trembling slightly, back to back as they were. He wondered if the Dark was speaking to her as well.
Do not shut me out again, child. I will only work through those who are open to my presence.
Severus’ heart thudded in his chest. He suddenly realized the flame of the candle he was holding was close to reaching his skin. His hand was covered in hard wax and was tingling. A strong wind blew into the cave, extinguishing the candle and swirling the Dark magic which had wrapped around him, and encircled them. Severus doubted it was a random gust, for it vanished after a moment, taking the Dark magic with it. Darkness swallowed them. Regulus pulled out his wand and lit the tip.Then Lily moved to face them, dropping his hand. She had tear tracks down her cheeks. “Lily, are you okay?” asked Regulus.Lily nodded, but sniffled. “It grabbed me, and pulled me to you.” She was blinking at Severus. “It spoke to me.”“What did it say?”Lily’s voice was shaky and a bit breathless. “It said I was its child, though only because of you. It said I was brighter than a star, the brightest it had experienced in centuries. But . . . but . . . it said it would be my strength in the darkest moments. It told me to call on it, when I need to, and it will come.”They stared at each other, wide eyed. “What did it feel like?” asked Severus. “It startled me, but the magic itself felt . . . good.”“Here.” Regulus took the stump of the candle from Severus’ bleeding hand and pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket. He held it out and Severus wiped what blood he could away before wrapping his hand tightly in the cloth. Just like the blood oath wounds, this one had to heal in its own time. Regulus was kicking at the gravel, displacing the drips of wax and blood which had speckled the tiny rocks. Hopefully they wouldn’t leave much of a trace. “We better get back up to the castle,” Severus said quietly. He grabbed his wand and they each cast the disillusionment charm again. Lily took his uninjured hand, then poked at Regulus and offered him her arm, which he linked up with immediately. It was strange, but Severus—who always felt fantastic when he and Lily held hands—felt even better than usual. He was probably riding the high of the declaration rite. They walked, joined up and disillusioned as they were, all the way back to the castle. The doors opened again with a whispered “Alohomora.” Before they cast the distraction spell, Lily grabbed Regulus in a tight hug. She whispered in his ear and kissed him on the cheek before pulling away. Severus might have been disgruntled if Lily had not turned her attention to him. “I don’t think we’ll get a chance to talk again until we’re in Cokeworth. Meet me on Sunday, at the bridge,” she said quietly into his ear as she hugged him. “Noon?” he whispered back. Lily nodded. Then turned her head and gave him a kiss on the cheek as well. “Te quiero,” she said against his cheek. Her lips tickled. “Te quiero,” he replied. Her warmth vanished as she took several steps back. He silently commended her for trying to make their separation quick. And then suddenly he realized he might have forgotten to spell his bed curtains shut. He and Regulus made their way back to the Slytherin dormitory, then crawled into Severus’ bed together. They took off their outer robes and were both already clad in the pajamas they had worn underneath for their venture out onto the grounds. “Me alegro por ti,” Regulus whispered. I am happy for you. They always started facing each other in the bed, with a bit of space between them, but Regulus moved closer once he was asleep. “I feel good. The dark feels a bit like Lily, like home.” “I understand.” “I will do the rest of the rites next year.” Then to not risk being misinterpreted he switched to English. “The Dark told me not to Occlude when I do the rites. It will tell you the same thing. Be ready.”They lay in the dark. Severus thought his bed in Cokeworth would feel quite spacious without a second body in it. “I’m going to miss you this summer,” Regulus said. “You’ll have your brother.” “Not really. We merely tolerate each other.” “I’ll write to you.” “Just a little, not too much.” “Okay.”And the two boys drifted to sleep. Trunks packed, the students of Hogwarts took the horseless carriages to Hogsmeade station. Except for the first years, who traveled by boat as they had upon arrival. Severus ended up in a compartment with a handful of boys who he regularly was in proximity of, including Regulus and Barty. They played wizard chess and ate sweets off the lunch trolley. Some discussed recent violent acts being credited to the Dark Lord in hushed voices. Severus kept his head close to the window, watching the scenery slip past. Every now and then they would pass by a town. Severus wondered if the townspeople could see the scarlet train engine which looked a hundred years out of date. When they reached Platform Nine and Three-Quarters there was a scurry to disembark. Much jostling and shoving ensued. Severus hung back, not wanting to be bumped. Out on the platform families were reuniting after a year apart. Severus saw his mother standing near the wall. She was wearing very respectable clothes which Severus was certain his family could never afford to purchase. Perhaps she sewn them herself? He smiled and gave her a wave. She waved back. Raised voices drew his attention as he moved toward the luggage area to find his trunk. He scanned the crowd and saw Potter engaged in an energetic debate of sorts with his parents. But they were speaking in an Indian language Severus could not comprehend. Then Potter’s mother marched across the platform to where Regulus and Black were with their father. Severus located his trunk. “Venga, deja que te ayude,” his mother said, materializing at his side. Here, let me help you. “Gracias.” Severus returned his attention to the Blacks. Mrs Potter seemed to be arguing with Mr Black now, but Severus couldn’t hear them. Black and Potter stood shoulder to shoulder with identical scowls on their faces. Regulus looked bored. Finally Mrs Potter seemed to settle, and Mr Black looked grumpy but nodded. Black and Potter began shrieking and jumping, then ran together, back toward Mr Potter. Regulus looked slightly miffed, and Severus said, “I’ll be right back.” He made his way over to Regulus and Mr Black. Regulus rushed forward to greet him. “Papa, you remember Severus?”“Severus, yes, I believe we’ve met.”Regulus stood an awkward distance from him, considering they were usually nearly touching, and Severus wondered why Mr Black hadn’t mentioned they had met on Yule. But then Severus remembered the magic of the celebration. Perhaps Mr Black could not say he had seen Severus there out loud? “Sirius is going to stay with James for the summer,” Regulus said. “For the whole summer?”Regulus nodded. “So you’ll be alone?” Severus gave him a questioning look. “Sirius is a nuisance anyway. I’m glad to have him out of the house.” He suspected Regulus was more upset than he let on, but Severus didn’t see why it mattered. Regulus himself had said they were not on good terms. He didn’t understand their relationship at all.“Why don’t you come and stay for a while, Severus?” Mr Black offered. “I’m sure Regulus could use some company.”Regulus brightened considerably. “I can’t come now, and I need to check with my parents. But I would like to. Thank you, Mr Black.”Severus looked for his mother, and saw her striding toward him, trunk loaded onto a trolley. “Mamá, Regulus wants me to come visit this summer.” Eileen held out her hand. “Mr Black, it’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m Eileen Snape. And Regulus, nice to meet you as well.” She shook both their hands.Mr Black narrowed his eyes. “Snape, Snape . . . That isn’t a wizarding family I’m familiar with.”Severus felt a rock drop into the pit of his stomach. “That’s because I married a muggle. And a lousy scoundrel he turned out to be. Left him not long after Severus was born. It’s true, you know, what they say about the muggles. Lowley, lazy, good-for-nothings. I kept his name, so Severus and I would match on documents and such.” He had never heard his mother speak in this tone of voice or this confidently. She lifted her chin. “Did you attend Hogwarts, Mr Black?”“Please, call me Orion, and yes I did. I was a Slytherin.”“As was I, as is my son.”“Papa, Bellatrix really likes Severus,” Regulus said. “He’s really smart. Bellatrix singled him out especially this year.”Orion nodded slowly. “Alright, alright.”“Did I hear Severus correctly? You’d like him to come visit this summer?” “Yes, we’d be happy to host him for a week. The boys do seem to get along. And it’s nice for Regulus to be around respectable Slytherin company. Only don’t go mentioning your blood status to my wife, son.”Eileen raised her eyebrows. Severus had told her hardly anything about Regulus, though she clearly knew a bit about the Blacks on the whole. “Yes, sir,” replied Severus. Eileen said briskly, “Indeed, let’s make arrangements. How about the second week in July? Severus can floo over.”Sometimes Severus forgot his mother was a fully qualified witch, given how ‘muggle’ they lived. But he had never been so proud of his normally meek and mild-mannered mother, holding her own with one the snootiest pureblood wizarding families. Eileen was clever, she had been a Slytherin herself after all. She had lived among people like Orion for seven years. “I’ll check with Walburga, but it shouldn’t be a problem. Severus can stay in Sirius’ room.” Oh Black will love that, Severus thought. “Excellent, owl over the details. Regulus it was nice to meet you, dear.”“See you in a few weeks!” Regulus had a hard time keeping a wide grin from spreading across his face. Severus bit his own tongue and gave a smirk. “See you.”They waved to each other, and Severus followed his mother to the queue to pass through the barrier into the muggle train station. As they were waiting, who should move into line right behind them but Remus Lupin, accompanied by a tall man in a rather shabby muggle suit. Eileen started when she laid eyes on the man, but said, “Hello Lyall, it’s been a long time. I didn’t realize you had a child at Hogwarts.” Lyall gave her a small smile. “Eileen, I haven’t seen you since school days.” He clapped his son on the shoulder. “Remus here just completed his second year.”“As did my Severus,” said Eileen, nodding in Severus’ direction. “Well the two lads must know each other at least,” Lyall replied, looking between them. “We do. Severus is a Slytherin,” Lupin said quietly. “Ah, house rivalries die hard,” Lyall chuckled. “Am I right in remembering you were also a Slytherin, Eileen?”“Yes, and you were a Ravenclaw. What of it?”“Remus here is a Gryffindor.” “I see.” The queue moved forward and they all shuffled a few feet closer to the barrier. “How’s life treating you?” Lyall said to his mother.Severus watched her closely. How would she handle the question from an old acquaintance?“I can’t complain,” she said. “And you?”“Work at the Ministry keeps me quite busy. My wife wishes I would find a different line of work, but it’s hard to move departments once you become established.”Completely uninterested in the prospects of the conversation, Severus was doing his best to ignore both Lyall and Lupin. But Lupin was making it rather hard by scowling at him. “What?” Severus said in Lupin’s direction. Lupin deepened his scowl. “Nothing.”Severus shook his head. They were up next in the queue. As the station agent waved them forward, Eileen and Lyall said their farewells. Severus took one last look at Lupin, he was a strange boy wasn’t he? Then he walked forward through the stone wall with his mother.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Interlude
The Phoenix
Hogwarts, March 1973
Albus Dumbledore tapped his long fingers against the edge of his desk. The events of the day had been most unexpected and rather distressing. If he had not spent his life immersing himself in knowledge, he would likely be in shock. But all his years of study had reinforced a single message, he never knew everything. To learn something should not come as a shock but as an opportunity to grow. Lily Evans and Severus Snape—second year students—had soul bonded. Just like he and Gellert had, by complete accident. And they were only thirteen years old. Albus closed his eyes and leaned back in his plush chair. Sometimes he felt so . . . tired. He was sure Nicolas would understand, then again, the man seemed to grow younger every time they had seen each other. After resting his eyes for several minutes, he turned to the portraits on the wall behind him.“As Headmaster of this school, I forbid any of you from speaking of what you overheard to anyone but those who were present: myself, Lily Evans, and Severus Snape. The portraits all nodded. “Albus,” Phineas Nigellus said. “I never knew.”“Of course you didn’t,” Albus said. “Hardly anyone knows. Can you imagine if word got out I’m soul bonded to Gellert Grindelwald? My credibility would be tarnished, my reputation shattered. Not to mention soul bonds are dangerous, Phineas.”“Grindelwald!” Phineas gasped. Dumbledore rubbed the bridge of his nose; he had forgotten he had not mentioned exactly who he was bonded to with the children. “But, Albus,” Dilys Derwent spoke up, “more secrets. I’ve never seen someone as greedy for the withholding of information as you.”“Dilys, that’s out of order,” Phineas said.“It’s true,” Dilys pleaded. “Albus, people are good. You can trust them, and teach them to trust each other. Not everyone operates best in solitude.”Albus heaved a sigh. “We’re not having this argument right now. Though I will think on your words, Dilys. For now, I have a floo call to make.”Albus strode to the fireplace and threw a pinch of powder into the flames. He sank to his knees and placed his head in the fire. The flames licked his cheeks in a pleasant way. “Flamel residence, London.”The world spun around him, though his knees were firmly planted on the floor. “Perenelle, Nicolas!” he called when a room materialized before him. Perenelle came bustling into the room. “Albus, you gave me a fright!” She knelt down so they were closer to level, though she still towered above where his head rested in the fireplace. “What news of the Dark Lord?”“This isn’t about him, it’s something else. You told me to tell you straight away if I ever encountered another soul bonded pair . . .” Albus’ voice trailed off. Perenelle gasped and brought her hands to her mouth. When she spoke her voice was barely audible. “Who?”“Two students. They are only thirteen years old.”“What are their names?” she asked. “Severus Snape. And Lily Evans.” Perenelle closed her eyes and shook her head slowly from side to side. “No. No. This cannot be happening.”“What cannot be happening?”Perenelle visibly collected herself and lowered her hands, looking down at Albus with quite a neutral expression. “I simply mean, it’s too young. They shouldn’t have to endure the implications of the bond from such a young age. It will strip away their individual wills.”“Thankfully the two in question are among the more stubborn students I have encountered. They may manage to lead relatively normal lives —”“Nothing about soul bonding is normal, Albus, you should know. Young as you were when you bonded!”“I am not being flippant, I merely meant to console your worries.”Perenelle gave him a resigned smile. “Every case is so unique. Thirteen, what it must feel like for them, I can’t imagine.” “They described it as best they could. I think they are handling it. Lily described it as finding a piece of herself she didn’t know was missing. They both mentioned it feeling like home. From what I observed, there is definitely a heightened intensity to their relationship.”“Will you let me meet them?”Albus had been afraid the Flamels would ask to meet Lily and Severus. What exactly he was afraid of, he didn’t know. The Flamels were the kindest, gentlest, people he knew. But there was a nagging deep in his gut which told him it was a risky idea, to bring the two pairs together.“Let me think about it,” he replied after a few moments. Perenelle nodded. “Until then, they know to keep it secret? To keep their marks hidden?”“Yes, and thank goodness, their marks are on their outer right hips. I didn’t see them myself; they went to the school nurse, and she brought them to me.”Perenelle raised her eyebrows at Albus and he answered her unspoken question. “Poppy is extremely discreet. She didn’t ask any questions. And she takes the student’s privacy very seriously.” Trust me, Albus thought to himself, she’s currently tending to a twelve year old werewolf every full moon. This seemed to please Perenelle. “I hope you will let me speak with them. It can be a very isolating experience. To know there are others who share in it, can bring peace.”“I know, I agree. I told them they were also welcome to come to me at any time.”“Did you tell them who you are bonded to?”Albus shook his head. “I’m very grateful they didn’t outright ask. I wouldn’t have lied to them of course, but it would have made things awkward to say the least.”“Maybe, but you are also an example of living a different type of life than most bonded pairs. Your perspective is valuable, especially when they have so much life ahead of them.”“I see your point. I’m sure I have only had the first of many conversations with those two. There is time to explain in more detail in the future.”Perenelle nodded, then she said softly, “There is time.”
Hogwarts, June 1973
Albus stood in his office, gazing out the window at the shimmering star strewn sky. A warm breeze caressed his face, the parts which were not hidden behind his long beard. He took out his wand and filled himself with love. “Expecto Patronum.”The silver phoenix burst forth, it flew in a great arch then perched itself on the window ledge. Albus held out his finger and the bird nuzzled its head against his skin. He could almost feel its silver feathers. He knew from Fawkes—who was currently asleep with his head under his wing—the feathers would be softer than silk. “I have a message for Gellert,” Albus said to the patronus. “Tell him I would like to visit, if he’ll see me.”The patronus gave a nod of understanding and soared through the open window, disappearing in an instant. Darkness descended once more. Albus had to wait several days for the reply. Without a wand—and in a magically warded cell—Gellert had to quill a response and send it via owl. The whole process was of course heavily supervised.Albus had never been more grateful for his squeaky clean reputation as a savior of the magical world and his rigid stance against the Dark Arts. It granted him a certain level of assumed good intent, which he could use to his advantage when the need arose. Visiting Gellert was such a situation. They had seen each other occasionally over the years of Gellert’s imprisonment. But it was another secret Albus kept close to his chest. He had gone as far as confunding the prison personnel each time he visited, even though the visits were prearranged and not illegal. Still, best if there was no trace. Secrets and lies, he was steeped in them. Dilys had been correct in her assessment of him. But it was all he knew. He clung to them like a lifeline. When the owl finally arrived, the message merely stated a date and time, with Gellert’s signature and an official stamp from the prison. Albus crushed the slip of parchment to his chest. Gellert had written those words. His warm hand had left marks Albus could actually touch. He ran a finger over the dried ink. The ache in his bones lessened an infinitesimal amount. At least it was more manageable than it had been before Gellert had been imprisoned, before they had hashed out where their relationship stood. Now it was a deep hollowness, it faded into the background most of the time. Only if he thought about Gellert—which he did more often than he liked to admit—did it stir the pining thirst for his presence.And he had had other lovers; he was human after all. But no one came close to the chemistry he had with Gellert. Those encounters always left a twinge of disappointment, and it was certainly not his partner’s fault. Albus sighed. A life of denial, that would be his legacy. Albus thought of Lily and Severus. They were now nearing the end of their second year and would be heading home in a few short weeks. He had allowed the Flamel’s to visit, and they had conducted a closed door meeting. Closed to him that is. He trusted his friends—really they felt more like parents—as he had known them far longer than he’d known his own parents. Since learning of their bond, Albus had kept an eye on Lily and Severus. The situation seemed under control. The year drew to a close, and the students returned home. Hogwarts was far too quiet, though he knew most of the professors enjoyed the peacefulness. He preferred the chaos of hundreds of students, magic constantly tingeing the air. The metallic scent of all that magic—when it hit every fall—was like coming home.
Nurmengard, July 1973
Albus shouldered a traveling cloak, though the day was warm, and walked down to Hogsmeade. He stopped for a drink at The Three Broomsticks. It was something of a ritual he had established before going to visit Gellert. Rosmerta—who was better at reading moods than anyone he knew—left him alone after cheerfully serving him a tumbler of firewhisky. The amber liquid burned as he swallowed it in two large gulps. He remained at the table, spinning the glass absentmindedly. Then he walked out into the street and promptly disapparated. As he arrived outside the wards of Nurmengard, a strong wind whipped his long hair making it difficult to see. But Albus knew his way. He trudged up the gravel path, up the stone steps, passing through the invisible perimeter ward. Every time he visited Nurmengard he said a silent thanks for the lack of dementors. Albus detested dementors; the memories they called forth made him want to claw his skin off. Vile, repulsive creatures. At the large iron doors of the castle, he lifted the knocker and let it fall once. The door swung open. A guard in forest green robes was waiting for him just inside. “Albus, pleasant day for a visit,” the guard said. Albus—who was busy trying to disentangle himself from his windswept hair and beard—said, “Oh yes, lovely day. Bit blustery.” Finally having freed his face from the tangles, he smiled at the man, reached into his pocket, and removed Gellert’s note. The parchment was worn soft. Albus had been carrying it in his pocket ever since receiving it. He was sullen to have to hand it over now. The guard took the parchment. “We were expecting you, of course. I believe you know the way.”“Indeed, there is no need to accompany me.” The guard nodded and retreated to a small office. The castle—Gellert’s prison—seemed practically deserted. But they didn’t need witches and wizards to keep the occupants inside. It was warded twenty fold, with powerful magic suppressants on every cell and chamber. Albus hated the feeling of his magic being suppressed. He didn’t know how Gellert tolerated it all these years; perhaps his body became accustomed to the sensation.Outside Gellert’s chambers there was a holding locker, into which Albus placed his wand. The door would not open for him if he was carrying it. Without bothering to knock, he cracked open the door and sidled into the room. It immediately felt like a thin impenetrable film had swathed his body, pressing into his skin and even across his face so his breathing was momentarily stifled. Having experienced this phenomenon several times before, Albus knew not to panic. He waited, his lungs beginning to yearn for a breath of air. Slowly the sensation softened, but it didn’tt vanish. Albus slowly inhaled, and found he could breath, as if through a thin cloth. Having adjusted to the magic suppression ward on the chamber, he moved farther inside, closing the door behind him. Gellert was standing near the large windows which took up most of the far wall. The mountainscape visible through the wall of glass was stunning. A welcome feature of the small space which was Gellert’s entire world. There were several bookshelves—fully stocked—a collection of simple wooden furniture, and a bed. A small kitchen space ran along one wall. And there was a door leading to the lavatory. Gellert didn’t look at him; intentional dramatic effect on his soulmate’s part. Albus knew he felt exactly the same rush of wholeness Albus was currently basking in. Even with his magic suppressed, the gentle warmth radiating from inside his body felt fantastic. Albus took as deep a breath as he could, and the feeling grew. He closed his eyes and just felt. Felt complete. Whole. When he opened his eyes, Gellert was standing before him. “Sneaky bugger,” Albus said. But they both stepped quickly into each other’s arms. Home. “How long has it been, Albus?” Gellert whispered. “Five years, give or take.”“Oh please, like you have not been counting every day.”Albus released Gellert and stepped back, placing his hands on the man’s shoulders. Albus was taller, but then again he was taller than almost everyone. Gellert looked up into his face, his eyes crinkled in a smile. “Merlin, I always forget how good it feels,” Albus said. “I don’t,” replied Gellert. Then he stepped forward and tipped his head, meeting Albus in a tender kiss. As their skin made contact, a second wave of wholeness surged through Albus. It was bliss and he deepened the kiss, threading his hands into Gellert’s grey hair. Gellert fisted the front of his robes and moaned into his mouth, making Albus’ heart flutter. “To bed,” Albus whispered as drew back. “To bed,” nodded Gellert, leading him by the hand to the bed in the corner of the room. They were no longer young, fit men. Far from. But every time they were together like this, Albus felt the years fall away. Gellert had always been beautiful. He had aged gracefully, and the lines and softness of his body was merely a sign of a life closer to its end than its beginning. Which made every moment even more special. The frantic energetic couplings of the distant past had been replaced by gentle passionate unions. They took their time, savoring the feel of each other’s bare skin. And truly, it felt almost as good as that very first time. Albus’ eyes rolled back in his head as he came apart at Gellert’s bidding. They continued to ride the high of their reunion through another peak before collapsing, completely exhausted, onto the scratchy sheets.“Remember when we could go for hours?” Gellert asked. “Feels like we just did.” He tucked Gellert into his side and ran his fingers over his exposed skin. “We used to be like two rabbits. I remember one time we spent the entire day in bed, talking, making love, until finally night fell and we realized we had forgotten to eat anything.”“Yes, I remember, I was ravenous. I think you offered yourself up for me to feast on—which I did—before we finally devoured an entire roast chicken and half a dozen apples around midnight.”Gellert sighed. “Ah, to be young.”That had been a long time ago. They had only been together in their youth for a few short months, but somehow it felt like years had elapsed. Albus held Gellert close. “I miss you everyday.”“I know love, I miss you everyday. So tell me, any recent conquests?”Albus scoffed. “Gellert, I’m an old man.”Gellert let out a soft chuckle. “As am I, dear friend, and yet we seem able to please one another.”“That is . . . well it’s different.” “My dear, Albus, have I embarrassed you?” Gellert shifted Albus’ long beard aside and began walking his fingers up and down Albus’ chest. “You are free to seek and free to love. I am always here. The least you can do is bring me some saucy tales of your endeavors.”“My endeavors have been focused on the growing power of the so-called Dark Lord Voldemort, if you must know,” Albus said. “I haven’t got time to fraternize.”“Ah, yes, the Dark Lord. What can you tell me of him? The Prophet has been highly disappointing as an information source.”“Exactly how he wants it,” said Albus. “Gellert if the rumors are true, I fear we are facing very dark times indeed.”“Are we? The world has faced dark times before and, how should we say . . . overcome.”“Is that what you call your fall from grace?”Gellert hummed softly. “Tell me of this new Lord.”“Let’s begin with, he’s a narcissistic maniac. Dark Lord, Lord Voldemort! He’s gathering followers using the same old propaganda, seeking support from the pureblood families. But I honestly have no idea what he intends to do with it. “The Tom Riddle I remember only had one motive, boosting his own power. He always worked in isolation. He had no friends. What scares me, Gellert, is he has no true vision. I fear he will simply step aside and watch the world burn as long as he gets credit for it.”“He does not want the wizards to overtake the muggles?”“He’s a terrorist, instilling fear and panic. There is no logic, no strategy. At least not one I can glean. He wants nothing to do with politics.” After a thoughtful pause, Albus continued, “I think it’s all a manipulation tactic to increase his own self-worth.”Gellert propped himself up on his elbow and looked down at Albus. “Maybe this narcissism will be a good thing. If he places all the power on his own shoulders and then crumbles, his entire regime will also fall.”“Yes, you were much better at plotting world domination than he is, if I must admit.”Gellert’s eyes twinkled. “Did you just pay my dark deeds a compliment?”“I compliment you all the time.” Albus lifted his head and placed a gentle kiss on Gellert’s mouth. “Look at us, some might say we sound like an old married couple.” “Perhaps, others might say we sound like two senile old men. Didn’t I defeat you in an epic duel to save the world from your fascist ideals?”“Hmmm, it rings a bell. I do not remember you defeating me though, I think I let you win.”Albus chuckled. “Shifting allegiances would suggest otherwise.” And he winked at Gellert. Gellert suddenly sat bolt upright. “Albus, you know it is only a matter of time . . .”“Shhh, I know. I’ve kept a low profile, unlike some.” And he reached up to tap Gellert’s nose. Gellert swatted at his hand. “If he comes for it.”“Then I will do my best to keep it from him. What else am I supposed to do? It’s my burden to bear.”“That attitude does not please me. I cannot lose you.”Albus sat up and pulled Gellert to him. “Love, I’m not going anywhere for a while yet.”“Promise me another decade?”“Let’s make it two,” Albus said. “Three?” urged Gellert. “You’re pushing your luck, we are already in our nineties.”“Yes, but you know how it is, we have many years ahead of us yet.”Albus let out a long breath. “Years of wanting. Gellert, I’m tired.”Gellert ran his hand over Albus’ cheek, and down to his neck. “I know love, I’m tired too. Tired of being cooped up in this room. But I will do it, I will endure it all, for you.”Oh, how Gellert knew how to hit him right where it hurt. He loved to play the innocent lover. While they both knew he had chosen a path of domination and darkness over the man now holding him. Albus was quiet. There was so much pain, so much betrayal, so much disappointment between them, the only way their relationship could survive was to let go of the past and face each other as who they were in the current moment. It wasn’t easy, but doing so had kept them both alive all these years. Being in Gellert’s presence always reminded Albus how fragile they both were, with so much to lose. “Come,” said Gellert, clambering out of bed. “Let’s sit and talk about why you are really here.”Back in their clothes, each with a steaming cup of tea in their hands, Albus and Gellert sat in two wooden chairs close to the huge windows. Watching Gellert prepare tea like a muggle was a quaint sight. “This doesn’t taste half bad,” Albus said, taking a small sip. “Life as a muggle has given me an appreciation for how hard their lives are.” “You have no idea what life as a muggle is like.”“I live here, and cannot use magic.” “But in many ways you are completely taken care of. Do you clean your chambers, or go to a job, or pay taxes?”“Fine, I have not the slightest clue what life as a muggle is like,” Gellert said. “Now why are you here?”“To see you, my love,” Albus said, taking another sip of his tea. “We both know this is not the sole reason. You have some kind of alternative excuse to permit such a lowly act as visiting your disgraced, Dark wizard, soul bonded, lover.” Gellert peered at him over the edge of his teacup. “Two students at Hogwarts soul bonded by accident, like we did.”Gellert’s eyebrows went up. “And . . . seeing them got you thinking about how much you miss me?”“I hardly need a reminder of how much I miss you. No, seeing them made me start thinking about the dangerous nature of soul bonds. With Voldemort gaining support, it crossed my mind our bond—as secret as it is—is such a vulnerability. “I’m afraid, Gellert. I’m afraid he will get it in his mind to ally with you and try to break you out. I’m afraid the Ministry will implement such harsh punishments for Dark wizards they will come after you retrospectively. What if they change your sentence and subject you to the dementor’s kiss? What would happen to us? To me!”“So it is self-preservation you seek.”“I don’t want anything to happen to your soul. We are woven together, for eternity. The repercussions of a dementor’s kiss aren’t even fathomable.”Gellert made a gesture of desperation with his free hand. “And what exactly are you proposing we do, Albus? There is nothing to do but sit and wait. I am bound tighter than any chains could wrap. The prison is warded with magic we both wove into its very stones —” But his voice trailed away, for Albus had a mischievous look in his bright blue eyes. Gellert eyed him suspiciously. “I know that look.”“Shall we recall the different types of magic?”“Light magic, Dark magic, Earth magic, Wild magic . . .”“Blood magic, Soul magic,” Albus finished for him. “They all exist, what of it?”“This prison is warded with Dark magic and Light magic, some from each of us.”“How romantic.” Albus gave him a scathing look and continued. “Did you ever consider wards against Blood magic or Soul magic? I certainly didn’t. They are mysterious, complex and obscure. And Soul magic . . . most of the magical world does not even formally recognize it as a source.“Yet a relatively common spell draws on Soul magic alone. Have you ever stopped to wonder why you can receive my patronus in your chamber?”Gellert was quiet for a moment. “The first time . . . I did think about it then.” He shrugged. “I figured it was due to the soul bond.”“But it could be the castle is not warded against Soul magic and anyone could send a patronus to a prisoner. We would have to test and investigate to find out, something I don’t think is worth the effort given the benign nature of patronuses.”They had both set their tea cups aside. Albus was leaning forward in his chair, his excitement palpable. “I still do not understand.”“Gellert, you can likely do both Blood magic and Soul magic. I don’t think it would be easy. With the general magic suppressant ward, it would take an immense amount of focus to bypass it. But I do think it might be possible.”The skin between Gellert’s eyebrows creased. “What does it matter? I am not a born wielder, I do not have anything to sacrifice, or any wards I need to set.”“But you have done wandless magic,” Albus said quickly. “Only Dark Arts. I do not think . . . No, I know I cannot use such magic here. I have tried a hundred times.”Albus waved his hand dismissively. “Blood magic and Dark magic are interrelated, as are Soul magic and Light magic. Have you ever cast a patronus, Gellert?”“At Durmstrang, they taught the patronus charm to the oldest pupils. Over half of them could not even attempt the spell without feeling terribly ill. Me among them.”“As you know, that is because you are a Dark wizard and a patronus is one of the purest spells aligned with Light magic. It is inaccessible magic for Dark wizards. But have you tried it since we bonded?”“Why would I have, I didn’t even know we were bonded until moments before my wand was stripped from my hands.” Gellert let out a quiet laugh. “I gained the capacity for some Dark Arts when we bonded, you likely gained the capacity for some Light magic.” Albus’ eyes were wide. “And I know you don’t have a wand, but as Soul magic does not have to be channeled through a wand. There is a chance —”“A chance I could cast a spell?” Gellert whispered, clearly intrigued. Albus nodded. “I also want to try something.” He reached into his pocket and extracted a small silver knife. Gellert’s eyebrows shot up into his grey hair. “Albus,” he crooned, “how did you get that in here?”“A squeaky clean reputation, decades of alabaster behavior and a trusting face.” Albus turned the knife over in his hands. It was astonishing how quickly Gellert’s eyes had darkened, desire for the dark object radiating from his very skin. “I was wondering,” Albus said, “if you would make a blood oath with me?”“Because the first one turned out so well for us?” “To test the wards.” Albus shrugged. “If they suppress Blood magic, we won’t be able to make the pact.”“And what kind of agreement do you have in mind?” “To never ally with Voldemort.” Albus’ tone was casual, but his eyes were fiery. Gellert sat back in his chair, steepling his fingers together under his chin. “Killing several birds with one stone I see,” he said. Albus kept his eyes boring into Gellert’s. “Gellert, do this. For me. For us. We have both made so many mistakes; let us complete one decent act together.”Gellert rolled his head, his neck cracking audibly. His facial features arranged themselves in an impassive expression. “Fine,” said Gellert. “It likely will not work anyway.” And he held out his left hand, palm up. Albus scooted his chair closer so he could run the silver knife along Gellert’s palm. He pressed as gently as possible while still breaking the skin—the wound would need to heal without magic. Then he did the same to his own left palm. The blood was hardly even flowing when they brought their hands together. “I promise to never work in partnership with Lord Voldemort,” Albus stated. “I promise to never work in partnership with Lord Voldemort,” repeated Gellert. And to both of their amazement, a small sphere of blood broke free of their hands and floated in the air between them. It divided itself in half and then a tiny glass phial began forming around each orb. The glass was accented with silver, exactly as their original oath phials had been. The phials sat suspended in the air and each of them reached out to take one. Gellert held his own up in examination. “Fascinating,” he mused. Albus took two silver chains from his pocket. “You are full of treasures today,” Gellert said, passing Albus his phial. “All for you, my love.” Albus strung each phial with a silver chain and passed one back to Gellert. He placed the chain around his neck, clasping it by hand under his long hair and beard. Gellert did the same. The chains were long enough to easily tuck down the fronts of their robes and no one would be any the wiser they were there. Then he extracted two white strips of cloth and bound one around Gellert’s hand. “Allow me.” Gellert helped him secure the second around his own cut. “I think we can conclude,” said Albus—as if they had not just interrupted their conversation to make a second blood oath—“Soul magic would work as well. Which means, your task is to learn to wandlessly cast a patronus.”“No rest for the wicked,” Gellert said. “You don’t fool me, Gellert. You are dying for even a trickle of magic. This is your chance.”Gellert examined his fingernails. “And how do you propose I go about completing such a task? I am a Dark wizard, this spell would be hard enough for me to accomplish with a wand outside of a magically warded cell.”“Perhaps not as hard as you think.” And Albus tapped his own chest, right over his heart. Then he reached forward and placed a hand in the center of Gellert’s chest. He reached for Gellert’s other hand and guided it to his heart. “Close your eyes,” Albus requested. Both men did. “Listen, feel.”They sat in silence, feeling the beat of the other’s heart and within the first minute, their heartbeats aligned. “Fill yourself with joy and love. Find memories which bring forth those emotions the strongest and concentrate on them. Every detail of them is important, the sights, the sounds, the smells, the textures. Fully immerse yourself. “Now imagine a tiny prick of light, right here.” Albus increased the pressure of his hand against Gellert’s robes. “It’s so small you almost cannot see it. Imagine it grows, slowly. It becomes a grain of sand. A small seed. A tiny pebble. And as it grows the brightness grows. Even so small, it is too bright to look directly at. The light fills your body. It shines out of your fingertips and your toes. As the light grows bigger it starts to take up physical space in your chest. It is a diamond you could pluck out and hold in your hand. “But you cannot cut it out. You must release it. You must make space for it to exit your body. You must draw it out.” Albus took a few more breaths, then dropped his hand and opened his eyes. “I think if you can do that, Gellert, you may produce a corporeal patronus.”Gellert gazed at Albus with wide eyes. “You are asking the world of me, my love. To even conjure a joyful, loving memory . . . it is so strenuous.”“Then you practice, every day. You have all the time in the world. What else do you have to do?”“And why is this so important to you?” “I need hope. I want you to have it too. And I want to know your soul is safe should circumstances change.”Gellert nodded slowly. “You know once you leave, this task will be even more insurmountable. Our blood is singing. When we separate, it will settle into misery again.”“The Gellert I once knew would take on an impossible challenge with vigor for the chance to prove nothing is impossible.”“The Gellert you knew has been living in isolation and magical suppression for twenty-eight years. I am not the same man.”“All the better, you are far more patient, more thoughtful, less distracted. Please, please try.”Gellert closed his eyes and slumped back in his chair. He was so still he looked as if he had suddenly fallen asleep. Without opening his eyes he said, “Yes, Albus, I will try. For the sake of your soul, I will try.”Albus left a few hours later. A witch in forest green robes had knocked and entered, informing them visiting hours were nearly over before quietly excusing herself from the room. When they had to part, both men had tears streaming down their cheeks. Albus thought of the irony. He was not sure he could ever have endured living with Gellert, and yet to live without him was tortuous. How could you despise someone and love them desperately at the same time?“See you in another five years?” Gellert clung tightly to Albus’ hands. “You send me a patronus—I will be here the next day.”Gellert sighed and shook his head. “Five years then.”They looked at each other for another moment, and then both inclined their heads at the same time. Albus released Gellert’s hands and stepped out the door, closing it behind him without a backwards glance. As soon as he left the room he felt the magic suppression lift. The tightness in his skin vanished. He felt raw and new. He also felt the tug of longing already reforming in his core. As if his soul knew he was walking away—yet again—from a piece of himself.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Second Epilogue
The Flaming Stone
London, March 1973
Perenelle walked the halls of her London home in the early hours of the morning. Nicolas was asleep—would likely be for a while yet. She found herself outside the study, opening the doors and striding to the cabinet in the corner, where a shallow stone basin sat. Perenelle gently lifted the liquid filled bowl onto the desk. She withdrew a black box from one of the desk drawers and after opening the lid pointed her wand into it and said, “Accio.”A small crystal vile flew out of the box. She caught it, uncorked it and tipped the contents into the bowl. The ghostly figure of her eleven year old sister rose from the basin and in a harsh voice spoke the prophecy Perenell had spent her entire life devoted to. “When the phoenix defeats the thief, a darkness like the world has never seen will descend. A man who sheds his skin like a snake, whose path to immortality will defy the known laws of magic. Hope will birth a monster who is claimed by a beast, two Princes will kneel before the dark, and an arrow will pierce the heart. Six will be branded and with them, the late summer blossom. In her womb will grow the one who can defy Death to defeat the darkness. He will carry a piece of each of them. For from them, he will be made. But a crimson river will flood the ground. One by one they will fall, to walk with the hunted who has become the hunter. Only then will they unite in the stars forever more.”Had Helichrysum known Perenelle would marry the Alchemist Nicolas Flamel, creator of the Philosopher’s Stone and gift her with immortality? Had she known Perenelle and Nick would soul bond?Not every prophecy comes true. And what of the prophecies no one hears? When a tree falls alone in the forest does it make a sound?Perenelle sighed. She conjured an empty crystal vial from thin air, then placed her wand to her temple and withdrew a fresh memory—the memory of Albus informing her of the two children who had soul bonded—depositing it into the vial. If anyone had ever put a Pensieve to good use, it was her and Nicolas. Six hundred years was a long time to remember something. She placed her wand above the shimmering liquid and siphoned out the current memory, directing it back into its vial. Stoppers firmly in place, she gently levitated the two memories into the black box.Two children soul bonding. The odds were simply infinitesimal. But there it was. Lily Evans. A branded flower. Perenelle felt the weight of six hundred years of waiting fall from her shoulders.Albus must let her visit. Nicolas too if he wanted. Perenelle remembered consoling Albus after his soul bonding decades ago. She remembered the horror of learning Albus had agreed to not duel Grindelwald. The Dumbledore family had a long history with phoenix ties, which had kept her interest in them peaked for centuries. When the phoenix defeats the thief. She hadn’t been sure if Albus was the phoenix the prophecy mentioned, but regardless, no one can defeat another without confrontation. Then the whole bizarre situation had unfolded, the blood oath had been neutralized and Albus was free to go head to head with Grindelwald. He had walked away victorious. And Perenelle could not help but feel the first line of the prophecy had been fulfilled. “Penny?” Nicolas’ sleepy voice floated through the darkness. Perenelle had not bothered to light any lamps, the Pensive’s reflective waters giving off a touch of light. “What are you doing out here, love?” Nicolas moved to her side and placed his hand over hers. “Just restless,” she said. “Thinking about the kids.”Having no children of their own, she assumed Nicolas would know to which children she referred.“I told you those blood pacts were bad news. That’s two now which have led to unintentional soul bondings,” said Nicolas. “Why people cannot merely trust each other . . .”“Come now, Nick, think of the prophecy. Do you really think there are people running around making blood pacts left and right? Albus and Gellert, Lily and Severus, they were drawn to each other and something about them made it highly likely they would pursue such an agreement. I know I told Albus years ago soul bonding is essentially a coincidence. It’s fate.”“But not all prophecies come true,” Nicolas said. “You and I are the only people who have heard the prophecy. We have done nothing to act upon it.”Perenelle shook her head in the dark. “It doesn’t matter, the wheel is turning. The events are already unfolding. It’s a cascade. The rest of the prophecy will follow. Which for the magical community is likely a very good thing. For those involved, perhaps less so.”“Penny, slow down. We don’t know anything has happened because of the prophecy.”“Albus defeated Gellert. Albus and Gellert are soul bonded, Lily and Severus make four. The prophecy mentions six, which means another pair will follow. And they somehow all create the savior. But then they fall, or at least some of them do. They might all die!”Nick clucked his tongue. “I don’t think we should say anything to anyone. Nothing good can come from making assumptions.”Perenelle lifted the Pensieve and placed it back in the cabinet. Then she strode from the room, Nicolas on her heels. “Penny, think. If Lily is to be the mother of the savior, it’s years and years in the future. The child is thirteen years old. Let time pass, events unfurl as they will. Keep an eye.”Perenelle stopped walking and turned to face her husband. “I don’t trust him.”“Who?”“Albus. He cannot know. That’s why I want to speak to the children. Having those two bond is an odd enough occurrence. When another pair doe— if Albus finds out about it—he’s going to start getting suspicious. If he found out about the prophecy . . . he’s the most self-righteous person I’ve ever met.”“You can’t protect them.”“I know, but they’re children.”“They won’t be children forever. And part of the wonder of prophecies is how they unfold seemingly by the independent will of those involved. Albus can’t do anything to change the fates.”“I’m not worried about him changing it, I’m worried about him ensuring it! For the greater good.”They glared at each other as a tense silence stretched between them. “We need to talk to those children,” Perenelle said. “Albus isn’t going to stop me.”
Hogwarts, April 1973
Perenelle smoothed the folds of her robes idly while Nicolas fiddled with his cuffs. They were seated on a plush sofa in the guest quarters of Hogwarts castle waiting for Severus and Lily to arrive. Normally the pair of them weren’t so fidgety, but there was a tension in the air which made Perenelle nervous. Albus had granted their request, and had even acquiesced to their insistence on a private audience with the children. Perenell was truly grateful. There was a knock on the door and it cracked open. Professor Dumbledore—as he was known to his students—peered into the room. “The children are here,” he said. “Please, come in.” Through the door came a pale boy with shoulder length dark hair and a freckled girl with long red hair. They were both dressed in their Hogwarts uniforms which identified the boy as belonging to Slytherin house and the girl belonging to Gryffindor. Perenelle and Nicolas rose, gazing at the children. I’ve been waiting six hundred years to meet you, Lily Evans, Perenelle thought. But what she said was, “Bonjour, I’m Perenelle, this is my husband Nicolas. Thank you for visiting with us.”The boy—Severus—was quietly assessing them. But Lily stepped right up and held out her hand, “Lily Evans.” Perenelle shook Lily’s hand before she moved over to Nicolas and offered him the same greeting. “Pleasure to meet you, Lily,” said Nicolas.“Come find me when you’re finished, I will be in my office. Perenelle, Nicolas.” Albus excused himself from the room, closing the door gently. Severus seemed to be trying to slink farther away from them, but Lily—having finished her introductions—grabbed him by the arm and moved them to the sofa opposite Perenelle. “Professor Dumbledore said you want to talk with us about soul bonds,” Lily said earnestly. “Yes, quite so. But first, some introductions from this lad?”Lily elbowed Severus, who had been slouching and looking anywhere but at them. “You’re being rude,” she whispered. Perenelle watched as Severus’ glare softened upon meeting Lily’s eyes. Several beats passed in silence as they stared at each other. Then Severus’ body seemed to relax and he finally looked up at her. “I’m Severus,” he said flatly, looking between Perenelle and her husband. “Which you already knew.” “I take it you’re not pleased to be in our presence,” said Nicolas. “I don’t see what good can come from it. I have a lot of other things going on,” Severus said, giving a shrug. “Sev is really focused on a project,” Lily said. Then she firmly grabbed the boy’s hand. “I, on the other hand, have been looking forward to talking to you. I have so many questions. Professor Dumbledore . . . well he’s our headmaster and it can be hard asking him certain things.”Perenelle smiled. “I completely understand. Please, ask away.”“Where are your soul marks? Can we see them?”Perenelle and Nicolas smiled at each other. “Of course.” They stood and lifted their robes to reveal their lower legs, then turned slightly to show Lily and Severus the identical circles on the center of each right calf. “Professor Dumbledore showed us his, it’s on his left shoulder. Do you want to see ours?”Perenelle raised her eyebrows at Lily. “I was under the impression it’s on a less visible part of your body.” But Lily was already standing, pulling aside her robe and tugging down the band of her trousers. She shifted to display her right hip, and there was a perfect circle etched into her skin. Lily nudged Severus with her foot, but Perenelle jumped in, “It’s quite alright. You don’t need to show us your mark, Severus.”Lily straightened her clothing and sat back down, grasping Severus’ hand again. And she didn’t miss the look which flitted across Perenelle’s face. “I’m nervous,” Lily said. “This”—she held up her and Severus’ joined hand—“helps.”Perenelle laughed. “You don’t seem nervous to me.” To which Lily gave their joined hands a shake and raised her eyebrows at Perenelle. “I assume you have other questions,” prompted Nicolas. “Yes, how did you learn about soul bonds? Professor Dumbledore said he learned by accident, like we did.”“My aunt, she had a bit of an obsession with Soul magic. She took me and my little sister into her confidence and shared some of what she had discovered. She was a real fanatic. Which is how I initially learned. After being married to Nick for two hundred years, we decided to see if we were soulmates. And it turns out we are,” Perenelle finished, giving Nicolas’ knee a squeeze. “And you’ve been together for six hundred years?” asked Lily. They nodded. “Of course, most people don’t live nearly as long as we have, thanks to the Philosopher's Stone.”“Six hundred years is a long time to love someone,” she said softly. But she quickly regained her curiosity. “How have you found the other bonded pairs? Professor Dumbledore told us you kind of keep track.”Nicolas nodded. “We have a lot of personal connections. Families we’ve known for generations. Rumors, whispers . . . we certainly can’t guarantee we’re aware of every bonded pair, but the right people know we are well informed and so eventually each pair has made contact with us.”“Yes, of the three pairs we know of—apart from ourselves and Professor Dumbledore—those individuals were aware of the possibility to soul bond before they attempted it. So they were already in with the right crowd, so to speak,” added Perenelle. She lapsed into silence to allow space for Lily to ask another question. “Is soul bonding really dangerous? Professor Dumbledore stressed how important it is to keep it secret. But what’s so dangerous about it?” Lily asked. Perenelle studied her expression. “Professor Dumbledore isn’t wrong. We insist people keep the bond a secret, if they can, for many reasons. One is we don’t want people finding out it’s possible to bond. Another is to protect you and your bonded partner. “I know you’re young, but we are likely in the early stages of another magical war. People can take information—like a soul bond—and use it in terrible ways to either hurt each of you, or manipulate you to do what they want. And the soul bond goes beyond any other loving bond Nick and I are aware of, even beyond a parent and child. We believe it may even have some sentient qualities. Soul magic is very mysterious.”“But we’ll die, someday,” said Lily. “Everyone does. What happens then?”“No one knows,” said Nicolas. “But someday you will learn.”Lily and Severus gave each other a swift glance. “Um, what if we don’t—you know—love each other when we grow up? Professor Dumbledore said just because we’re soul bonded, it doesn’t mean we’ll get married or anything,” Lily said. Perenlle replied, “He’s quite right, a soul bond is not a marriage bond. Again, most people we know of were romantic partners who wanted to deepen their relationship through the bond. Professor Dumbledore and you two experienced it as the byproduct of exchanging blood. You can decide together what you want your relationship to entail as you age. However, did Professor Dumbledore share any of the less pleasant effects of the bond with you?”“You mean besides the enhanced mood swings?” It was the first thing Severus had said since introducing himself. “Yes, those will likely fade as you mature emotionally. We haven’t encountered anyone as young as you two with a bond before. The intensity usually manifests in . . . other ways.” “He said when we’re apart, we might feel sort of empty. We’ve noticed it a bit. We tend to be moodier when we’re apart and calmer when we’re together. Although . . .” Lily trailed off. “We also live in the same muggle town, several blocks apart,” said Severus. Lily was now looking a bit puzzled.Perenelle and Nicolas nodded. “It can be physical distance which fuels the longing, it can also be emotional distance.”“What do you mean?” Severus asked. “Physical distance increases the urge to reunite with your soulmate, but even when you’re together, if you are emotionally unavailable it can also feed the urge.”Lily gave Severus a glare. “So that’s what happened! I was wondering, but I didn’t want to accuse you. Things have seemingly settled down, but inside I’m never quite as happy as I was before.”“Before what?” Severus asked quietly. “Before the night Regulus said we were unbearable. After that night—I didn’t realize it until just now—but the good feelings I get when we’re together, they are all dulled a bit. Like you put emotional distance between us.”Severus wouldn’t meet Lily’s eyes. “So what about when we’re older, if we’re not living together or married or whatever?” The boy was clearly trying to steer the conversation away from a sensitive subject. “If you don’t want to pursue a romantic relationship, when you’re older, and especially if you’re not even friendly with each other it can take a toll. Just ask Professor Dumbledore how it was for him,” Nicolas said flippantly. Perenelle nudged him slightly and said, “Nick.”“Who is Professor Dumbledore soul bonded to?” asked Lily. “It’s not our business to share. However Nicolas is right in saying a strained emotional relationship will make life difficult for both of you. A cordial agreement to not be romantically or even platonically involved will still leave a feeling of hollowness, however I suspect it will be manageable.”“A soul bond doesn’t strip you of your free will. It merely intensifies your connection with your soulmate,” Nicolas said.Perenelle leaned forward. “Do you mind if we ask you some questions?”Lily shook her head, Severus gave a noncommittal grunt. “You were friends before this bond went into effect, correct?”“We are best friends,” Lily said fiercely. “We had a stupid fight. Actually it wasn’t stupid, but we were both being stupid about it. Anyway, we didn’t want it to happen again. So we thought we’d make a blood pact.” At this Nicolas gave a less than conspicuous cough. Lily sighed. “And then this happened. It was hard at first. We were both really emotional and it was confusing. But we’ve come to terms with it. And we had already agreed to be best friends forever, so I guess the bond isn’t much different.”Perenelle shot Nick a slightly concerned expression. “Of course it’s different,” Severus shouted, making all three of them jump. He released Lily’s hand and began gesticulating as he spoke. “We’re bonded forever. And we didn’t even get a choice. I had to suggest a stupid blood pact, and now look at us. We’re no better off because of it and we’re actually worse because this soul bond took over our entire lives.”“That’s not true, Sev, it isn’t so bad.”“Speak for yourself, Lily,” Severus said in Spanish. “I want you as my best friend because you want to be, not because some weird magical bond is forcing —” “It isn’t forcing us,” protested Lily. “I’ve always wanted to be your friend, you know that.” Perenelle and Nicolas spoke several languages perfectly—Spanish being one of them—so were following along with this new development in the conversation. “No, Lily.” Severus plowed on. “It may not have been before, but now . . . Now I will never know if I truly deserve you.” “And what makes you think you have me?” Severus threw his hands up in the air in exasperation. “Exactly!”Perenelle decided to intervene. “I think I see what is going on here.”“You speak Spanish?” Severus did not look pleased. “Sí.” Severus narrowed his eyes at her, but she kept her face neutral. “No matter your future, you both need to acknowledge the bond is impacting your current relationship and will continue to do so. But it does not speak for you. If you stay open and honest with each other, like two best friends would expect of each other, you can still have a foundation of trust in your relationship.”“It is not fair that this bond happened to us,” Severus said, leaning back against the sofa and crossing his arms. “Sev, do you really think so little of yourself to think I feel bitter?” “I know you are bitter. Bitter we have to go through this, bitter it is with me.” “I’m not bitter it is you,” she whispered. Severus rolled his eyes. Perenelle spoke up. “I have one more question for you, if that’s alright.”Lily and Severus both nodded. “How did you learn about blood pacts?”Both Lily and Severus shifted uncomfortably on the sofa. “In a book,” said Lily, attempting nonchalance. “A book. A book you found at school?” said Nicolas. They shook their heads. “Didn’t think so,” he muttered. “Does Professor Dumbledore know about this book?”“He asked where we learned about them as well, but he didn’t press us for information,” Severus said. Perenelle sighed. A book containing information about blood oaths had to be rooted in the Dark Arts, Blood magic was aligned with Dark magic after all. Where two second year students had gotten their hands on such a book, she could only guess; but it was not the Hogwarts library. Nicolas shook his head slowly. “If Professor Dumbledore didn’t insist on the book being revealed, neither will we. Though I hope you can now see the danger in such acts.” As if it was likely anyone else would complete a blood pact and soul bond in the process. But the children needn’t know that. “I hope this is merely the first of many meetings between us,” said Perenelle. Her curiosity to watch Lily and Severus navigate a soul bond so early in life was strong, but she didn’t want the children to feel like they were an exhibit. “May I write to you if I have any questions?” asked Lily. She was looking at Perenelle when she said it, so Perenelle answered. “Of course, I would be delighted to hear from you. And before we say our farewells, I wonder if I might have a private word, Lily?”Lily looked quickly at Severus and gave him a shrug. The boy didn’t look pleased. But Lily followed Perenelle into the attached bedroom. “I know it isn’t fair of me to ask this of you, but I need you to keep a secret. I suspect there may be other soul bonds forged in the near future. I need to know about them. And I need to make sure Professor Dumbledore does not.”Lily looked at her with wide eyes. “What makes you think there will be more?”“A strong hunch. Can you promise me you will alert me, and only me, if you learn of anyone else?”“I don’t think anyone will. It’s extremely rare, isn’t it?”“Then humor me and agree regardless. You come to me and not to Professor Dumbledore, understand?” Perenelle stared at the freckled child with huge green eyes. The girl nodded solemnly. “Thank you, Lily. And please don’t reveal I’ve asked you to do this to anyone.”“Of course, I do know how to keep a secret after all.”