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Dec 4th, 2024, and not a single person in Hatchetfield was being either chilled out or completely normal. Most people worldwide waited for this day every single year. To them, it was more important than Christmas. It was more important than a birthday, or a wedding. Hell, even the birth of their firstborn child would come nowhere close to this day. This day, every single year, was the unavoidable day of self-reflection for users of the platform worldwide. It was as if staring in a mirror. Physically, you couldn’t avoid your past. You couldn’t avoid your reputation. After all, you could never avoid your Spotify wrapped.The popular kids from the Class of ’21 group chat had long since died. Having graduated three years ago, there wasn’t any real reason to keep in touch consistently minus the occasional meetup. Everyone was off doing college or off doing life. There was no point trying to insist on keeping up a connection that was simply not as bright as it used to be. It was okay to sever these connections. It was okay to move on…until Spotify wrapped came out. Then it didn’t matter about what was going on. It didn’t matter about personal opinions on other members of the group chat. Someone had to make the announcement. After all, Spotify wrapped was the most important day of the year. Someone had to say it, and someone had to say it then. That year, it was Brenda Campbell who sent the long awaited message, that Spotify wrapped 2024 was officially out. There, as if the group chat hadn’t literally been deader than Willabella Muckwab, messages began to stream through as everyone discussed their Spotify wrapped. Max Jagerman, like he did every year, ignored these messages, though not even he could deny that he looked on enviously regarding everyone else’s results. There’s was so much less embarrassing than what his was. If his Spotify wrapped ever got out, his life would, quite literally, be ruined. Any chance he had with a girl would officially burn out. He could not let anyone see his Spotify wrapped ever. So, he did what he had done for the past five years or so. He screen recorded his Spotify wrapped, cringing as the results hit him in the face as a toxic essence of self reflection, then posted the actual graphic to his close friends story. It only had Steph on it, because Steph was the only person he could fully trust not to share a secret of his. Once the job was done and dusted, he clicked his phone off, thinking nothing of it.Rookie mistake.For, in the group chat, a new sort of conversation was sparking. Each member of the group chat were sharing their top 5s, both in songs and artists. All Stephanie Lauter could do was look on distastefully as she looked at the results that everyone else had to say. Both hers, Stacey and Brenda’s featured Taylor Swift in their top 5 to some capacity, with her top 5 being entirely songs off of The Tortured Poets Department. It hadn’t been a rough year for her and Peter or anything. In fact, they were stronger than ever before. The album, unfortunately, came into her life at an inconvenient time when she’d been struggling mentally. Stacey, as per usual, had done nothing but listen to the Midnights album, so it was no surprise when her graphic came through and Snow On The Beach was her number one. Brenda’s top 5, most certainly, was a mess, but nowhere as close to a mess as Kyle or Jason’s.Steph knew the two had atrocious tastes in music, but nothing could ever prepare for what she saw. A mix of Kanye West and 2000s rock music filled with ambiguous takes on women. To that, every year, she would roll her eyes and pray that their tastes improved. After all, Kyle was literally dating Brenda who had an impeccable taste in music, if Steph was to say so herself. Then again, they’d been out of high school for three years. She was sure if Brenda was so determined to change her boyfriend as she oftentimes claimed, then he wouldn’t be listening to Kanye of all people.For God’s sake. Not Kanye.Alas, though, the fateful day struck around and Stephanie Lauter received the fateful text when she was scrolling though Instagram. At the top of her list was Max Jagerman’s story, which she clicked on. It was his Spotify wrapped, which she thought nothing of. Honestly, she hadn’t looked at his for the past however many years anyway. It’d be the same incel bro music she dared not look at from a ten foot distance. But, while checking everyone else’s, she got another message in her high school group chat.
(CLASS OF 2021
🦅 (Minus Max)
Brendalecreme: HAVE U SEEN THE STATE OF MAX’S SPOTIFY WRAPPED??????Stace Abrams 🩵: Wait no how bad is itBrendalecreme: HE POSTED IT ON HIS INSTARAM STORY IM RYING ON THE FLOROKylie Minogue: I can confirm, she laughed so hard she fell on the floor and off my couchKylie Minogue: [photo]Slaughterhouse 💚: He wouldn’t have posted anything. He only ever posts on his close friends story.Brendalecreme: CLEARY HE DIENTBrendalecreme: WHY IS BARBIE GIRL HIS MOST LISTENED TO SONG F THE YEAR IS THIS A FYCKUGF JOKEBrendalecreme: THERE ARE TEARS ROLLNG DOWN MY FACEBrendalecreme: IM IN SO MUCH PAIN I THIK MY APPENDIX BURST FROM HOW HARD IM LAUGHING
LOOK AT THE STATE OF IT
She sent over Max Jagerman’s 2024 spotify wrapped, and Stephanie had to prevent herself from not choking on her own laughter.Max Jagerman, 6’3 man made with a body one would desire to lick chocolate off of, notorious for being the Hatchetfield Nighthawks’ younger quarterback from the ages of 15-18, had the most ridiculous Spotify wrapped that Stephanie Lauter had ever had the pleasure of seeing.Number one: Barbie Girl by Aqua. That was not a surprise to Steph, for every party Max was in attendance of, Barbie Girl would mysteriously make its way on to the preplanned playlist. When drunk, Max had once confessed that it was his favourite song of all time. Steph had not been able to tell if he was joking or not. Apparently, based on the results of his wrapped, he wasn’t.Second, third and fourth were all some sort of K-Pop song, which equally shook Steph. He didn’t seem like the kind to listen to K-Pop at all, let alone get it on his wrapped. The fifth song was something Steph had never even heard of. That was why she was equally delighted and surprised when Max revived their other dead group chat.
(CLASS OF ’21
🦅 )
Maxwell: it’s come to my attention everyone has seen my spotify wrpped bcs I lcicked the wrong button. all I have to say is sometimes you have a rlly bad panic attack in the middle of the night, stick a random playlist on, accidentally ejnjoy the music and keep it on ur main playlist forever. There is nothing wrong w thatBrendalecreme: BUT WHAT ABOUT BARBIE GIRL MAX. WHAT ABOUT BARBIE GIRL.Maxwell: that’s been my favourite song literally all my life.Stace Abrams 🩵: we live in a society.Maxwell: who else do u think kept hacking the playlist at parties. It was me. Kyle and Jason have a rancid tatse in music and I’d rather bleach my ears w girlpop than listen to whatever they were listening to.Kylie Minogue: question. Wtf is “girlpop”Maxwell: have u seen my wrapped. That is what girlpop is.Slaughterhouse 💚: anyway whats tat last sog on ur wrapped anyway I cant figure it outMaxwell: k this is actually embarrassing but bare w meMaxwell: one of my friends is really into Rupauls Drag RaceBrendalecreme: THIS IS THE BEST FUCKIGN DAY OF MY LIFEMaxwell: and she stayed w me and Grace over the summer just when All Stars 9 came out and I was watching all the episodes w her so she didn’t feel aloneMaxwell:
needless to say one of the songs in that series was exceptionally good and I accidentally deliberately streamed it for four months endlessly.Slaughterhouse 💚: that’s actually so embarrassing for u maxMaxwell:
I’m sending u the link steph youll love itMaxwell: actually, I’m sending u all the link to my full spotify wrapped and then I want all of urs bcs if im being judged then so r u
Turns out, the song, Pussy On Fire, was very good, as Max had since claimed. Turns out, for the rest of the day, Max posted physical evidence throughout the years that not only was he a kpop stan, knowing the choreography to the majority of (G)I-DLE’s music despite not being the target audience for it at all, he was also Barbie Girl’s number one fan.But it was whatever. Max could listen to whatever he wanted to. Through that, Steph got to add some excellent new songs to her playlist for 2025. Though it was only just about to turn December/only just December, she already knew her spotify wrapped for the next year was completely and utterly fucked. Oh well. At least Kanye wasn’t going to end up on her playlist. That was always a bonus.