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“You want some gum?”

Those were the first words uttered on the cargo plane to Pahkitew Island. They were uttered by none other than, perhaps, the most marketable of all the contestants; a young lady with a cream tank top and feather earrings. She extended a gum-clutching hand towards her stout seatmate, who was one of the

least

marketable contestants on this cast of misfits.

“Hmm… my ears

are

finding some trouble acclimating to the change in air pressure… bah, why not?” He plucked a stick from the foil pack, and when he stuck it in his mouth, his eyes watered.

“Cinnamon,” He said, and he barely kept it together as he spoke. A hand gripped his grey slacks as he powered through the intense burst of flavor.

“As much as I would

like

to spit this out, that would not be…

proper.

” He grimaced as he chewed. “Your tongue must be completely

numb

for you to withstand such a burning assault.”

“What? It’s just cinnamon, it’s not

that

bad. Besides, it wears off after, like, twenty chews.”

“Perhaps that is the case for your indomitable mouth, but I

assure you—

”

He paused. The girl gave him a quizzical look as he chewed, and the stress in his face evaporated. “ —Oh. It seems you were right, after all,” The boy said. “And on that note, allow me to introduce myself—I am Maximillian Morgan, however,

Max

is sufficient.” He extended a pale hand towards her, and she shook it firmly. Perhaps, a little

too

firmly.

“Well, nice to meet you, Max. I’m Sky.” She said, and she noticed his hand as it grew a little red. “Oh, crap, sorry.” She let go of him, and he moved his fingers to alleviate the pain.

“Your hands are

calloused.

And

strong,”

Max said. “Tell me,

Sky,

how is it that your hands behold such surprising strength?”

“Well, I’m a varsity gymnast,” She said, somewhat sheepishly. Her hands rubbed the back of her hair as she explained. “And basically, grip strength is a

requirement,

so coach says I

always

have to find ways to improve it. Like, when I go grocery shopping with my mom, I can carry all our groceries for the week…in

one

trip.” She raised a finger to emphasize her point, and Max gasped.

“In

one

trip? Inconceivable!”

“Oh, puh-lease. That ain’t

nothin’!”

Their heads turned to another contestant; a portly blonde girl in a pink crop top. She filed her nails as she approached their bench. “If you’re as

strong

as I am, grocery shoppin’s a piece a’

cake.”

“A piece of

cake?

Quite befitting of your name,

Sugar,”

Max said. He glared at her, and she glared back, all the while Sky looked at both of them, somewhat bewildered. She grabbed another stick of gum and chewed.

“Um… do you two

know

each other?”

“You ain’t changed since the day I left

kindergarten,”

Sugar said, not even bothering to look at Sky. “You bowl-cut wearin’, purple dye-havin’, evil schemin’

bastard!”

“Woah, woah, easy!”

Sky pocketed her gum and stepped between the two. To her surprise, someone else joined her in the de-escalation; a handsome boy in a blue sweater. He stood in front of Sugar, and now that she thought about it, he looked like one of those typical teen actors she saw on those high school drama shows—except he actually

looked

the age.

“Yeah, okay, that’s enough, guys. Too much bad language and we could get off the air,” He said. “And the

last

thing any of us want is to rot in obscurity.

Am I right, folks?”

Sugar crossed her arms and huffed. “Fine. Guess I gotta keep it

PG

or whatever. Not like I’m not used to that, being on-stage and whatnot… but

that’s

not gonna stop me from gettin’ you off the show, you

twerp!”

She pointed at Max, who gasped once more.

“You

dare

call me that

insufferable name?”

He stepped ahead of Sky and the new guy, and the old rivals were face-to-face. “Mind you, Sugar, I have

improved

quite a bit since we have last met—and know this, once I unleash my plans upon you, you will feel the

maximum consequences!”

Sky looked to the new guy. “Should we—”

“ —Nah, this is good television!” He whispered back, not wanting to overpower their acrid words. “Topher, by the way.” He extended a hand.

“Sky.” She shook it, and remembered to loosen her grip.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, Sky, I have a

host

to find.”

She looked at him, a little bewildered, as he strolled further into the plane’s interior to complete whatever plans he had cooking. For a second, she considered following him, but she shrugged and went back to her seat. After all, Sugar walked away from Max, so it seemed she didn’t have to think about that until the competition began.

In contrast, Topher approached the other half of the passenger cabin. He looked around and walked with a cool, calm demeanor, and he hid his anxiety quite well. The truth was, his heart pounded in his chest at the

thought

of meeting Chris, let alone being in a Total Drama season. He exhaled silently as he scanned the room for anyone he could possibly get some leads on.

First, he noticed a guy in a green robe, and when he saw the fake beard on his face, he immediately brushed him off.

First boot material,

he thought, as that guy wrote something down in a journal. Then, he saw a huge guy huddled in the corner, clad in a t-shirt and overalls—his muscles alone intimidated Topher, and so he didn’t want to deal with him, either. Across from him, however, there was an

even taller

lady dressed in jungle-exploring gear. He cleared his throat.

“Excuse me, have you seen Chris around? I kinda wanna talk to him.”

“Chris?” She asked, and her Australian accent was as obvious as her stature. “I reckon he’d be in the cockpit with Chef.” She pointed a thumb towards the front of the plane. “But now that you mention it, I got a sense that he’s not around.”

“You

just might

be right,” Said a scruffy, slightly smelly guy in a beanie. Topher gave him a funny look as he butted in. “I mean, based on his behavior on previous seasons—

especially

the last one—he’s

always

up to something. I mean, remember the time they

irradiated

those new guys?”

“And don’t forget that bloody awful gimmick where they all had ta’

sing

on the spot.”

“Aw, I thought it was a

wonderful

choice!”

The new, high-pitched voice came from a girl dressed in pink. Unlike Sugar, however, she appeared straight out of a fairytale. Topher put a hand on his chin as he realized that she

might

not survive this endeavor, and as the four looked at her, she blushed a little. “Oh, how rude of me to interrupt—I’m Ella.” She did a little curtsy. “And you are?”

“Shawn,” The scruffy guy said.

“I’m Jasmine,” Said the Aussie girl.

“And I’m Topher,” He said with a smile. He tried to charm her with a particularly toothy grin, as he had done many times before with the girls in his school, but somehow, she remained rather civil.

“My, aren’t

we

a colorful bunch? Oh, and I’d like you to meet a new friend of mine—Beardo?” She turned to a nearby bench and spotted another greasy-looking guy with a massive afro. He removed his headphones and waved at the group, and it was clear that he was at a loss for words. Ella swiftly approached him and put a hand on his shoulder.

“Go on, now, show them what you showed me.”

He gulped, then nodded, and with a deep inhale, he put a hand over his mouth. “Hellooo, people of Pahkitew Island!”

The three gasped as he perfectly imitated Chris McLean’s voice. In fact, he did it

so

well that the other contestants turned their heads. “We’re

sure

to have a

heck

of a season, folks!

Especially

with all the new

challenges

I’ve cooked up, isn’t that right, Chef?”

“Dang right!” He imitated Chef’s voice, and that got a few

woah’s

from the cast. “I tell you what, those kids are gonna go through

hell!

If my name ain’t Chef Hatchet.”

“Bloody hell!” Jasmine smiled as they clapped. “That’s spot-on!”

“I agree—you

nailed

it, bud. Say, what

other

voices can you do?” Topher asked, his interest piqued.

Beardo scratched his stubble for a moment, then snapped a finger before he covered his mouth again. “I don’t

know,

you tell

me.”

Which made everyone else smile and clap, but Topher’s face sank as he heard his own voice imitated directly back to him. Before he could get a word in, however, two blonde girls dressed in opposite-color tracksuits rushed over to the talent-packed voice artist. Being that they were twins, their eyes shifted towards them.

“If you can do

Heather’s

voice, I’ll give you five bucks.” The twin with a mole said. Beardo smirked and nodded, then cleared his throat.

“Oh my

gosh,

Alejandro, you are going

down!”

The cast erupted in laughter and applause, and the twins smiled the widest. That didn’t last long, however, as the twin in red turned to her sister. “Samey, gimme five bucks.”

“What?! Amy, you said you were gonna—”

“--I forgot my wallet, okay? I’ll pay you back, now

give it.”

Her aggressive tone made her sister gulp, and she forked over the money without a second thought.

“Why do I get the feeling you won’t pay her back?” Shawn asked as Beardo smiled at his pay. When he said that, however, Amy glared at him, and

he

gulped, too. “Never mind.”

Then, to break the entire thing up, a loud sound filled their ears—the crackling of the overhead speakers, followed by the voice of Chris’ right hand man.
“Attention all contestants! We’ll be flyin’ over the drop zone in about three minutes, so y’all better find some

parachutes!

And hopefully, you’re smart enough to know the instructions. Good luck!”

“Drop zone?” Jasmine’s eyes widened.

“Wait! I gotta talk to Chris!” Topher darted towards the front of the plane while the group broke away, and each of them scavenged the plane for any signs of a parachute. The twins checked under the seats and the benches, Ella and Beardo ran up and down the cabin for any clues, Jasmine used her height to her advantage, checking the overhead stowaway bins, while Shawn tugged at a nearby locker that would not budge.

“Guys! Does anyone have a key?”

Then, suddenly, a girl who hadn’t introduced herself appeared next to him. He yelped a little at her presence, and the spectacled, serious-looking redhead scoffed.

“I have something even

better,”

She said as she pulled out a bobby pin from her pocket. When she unfolded it and stuck it in the lock, it only took her five seconds before a click was heard. Without another word, she opened it and found a small stash of parachutes. “Over here!”

“Crikey, where’d you learn to do

that?”

Jasmine asked.

“The internet,” The redhead replied. “The modern Library of Alexandria.”

Amy shoved her aside and grabbed a parachute. “Ugh, who

cares

about Alexandria’s library, let’s get out of here!”

The redhead sneered at her, but she had no time to bite back. She and the others who were nearby grabbed their own parachutes, though by the time Ella and Beardo reached the locker, there were none left. “Oh, dear. Uhm… surely there are more elsewhere!” The princess said.

“Bah!” The boy in green robes said. “No need for a parachute! I have some

magical spells

that’ll allow us to float like the clouds in the sky!”

Ella gasped with excitement as he pulled out his fancy journal, labelled his

spellbook.

Beardo, however, made a quick cuckoo-clock sound before he dashed away to the back half of the cabin. “Beardo!” Ella shouted, and the wizard-boy leaned back from her outburst. “Oh, sorry for my friend, he must be a teensy-bit antsy, that’s all!”

“Why, no worries, this is

quite

the dire situation, after all. Come! I shall show you my spells!”

“Uh, can I join, too?”

They looked up and saw the huge, muscular guy in overalls looking back down at them, and they were quite surprised to hear how timid he sounded. “I mean… if it’s okay.”

“Surely!” The boy in green said. “Now, I hate to proceed without proper introductions, but we must prepare for our landing, post-haste!”

With that, the three darted out of that side of the cabin and ran towards the back, where the rest of them awaited the drop orders. However, in the front of the plane, a door swung open—the bathroom door—and out stepped a short, scrawny young man in a blue-green sweater vest, his knees shakier than usual. “Of all the times to have a bowel movement…” He sprayed some hand sanitizer on his palms and rubbed them. He eyed the locker that was just opened, and his heart sank.

“Oh, God… the parachutes!”

“Woah! Hey, hey, easy there, dude.” Topher said. He had a parachute over his shoulder and another in his hands, and he tossed it to the new guy without hesitation. He barely caught it, as it almost fumbled out of his sweaty palms, but at least he felt a little safer. “Good thing Chef let me borrow these!”

“He–he did?” He smiled as he followed Topher to the back of the plane. “Well, thanks a

lot,

dude—I’m, uh, Dave, by the way.”

Topher looked him up and down for a second. He reminded him of the nerds he picked on, but he didn’t want to throw away his chances at stardom. “Name’s Topher. You ever skydived before, Dave?”

“N-no!”

“Well, you should’ve

practiced!

This is

Total Drama,

man! You gotta be

prepped

for this stuff, unless you wanna be

first boot!”

He laughed a little, and though Dave nervously chuckled, that little joke did not alleviate his tension one bit. As they found themselves huddled up with everyone else at the back, however, Dave realized that he wasn’t the

only

one feeling the pressure.

“Um, does anyone have any skydiving tips?” Sky asked. It turned out, at the rear of the plane, there were more parachutes; she, Max and Sugar had some on their backs.

“A better question would be, why aren’t you guys wearing

your

parachutes?” Shawn gestured to the odd trio of Ella, Leonard and Rodney. “Do you three have a

death wish

or something?”

“Oh, not at all,” Ella said as she slipped hers on. “We were merely listening to Leonard’s proposed flight spells!”

Shawn’s worried face sunk in disappointment. “Your

what?”

“Indeed!” Leonard said as Rodney silently put on his parachute. “I have harnessed all

kinds

of magic, specifically for this arduous quest we all like to call,

Reality TV.”

Max rolled his eyes, as did many of the other contestants. “You ought to be prepared for the arduous quest towards the

dock of shame!”

“Or the

mental hospital,”

Scarlett added, and that got half of them to cackle.

“Good one,” Max said, nudging her a bit, and that got a grin on her face as he whispered further. “Something tells me he’ll be off this island anyways.”

The redhead smirked. “Duly noted.”

“Alright, people, we’re approaching the L.Z., comin’ in

hot!”

Chef said over the speakers, and a blaring alarm accompanied by flashing red lights shocked all of their senses. Slowly, but surely, the rear of the plane creaked open, and as the hydraulics did their work, the fresh air of the wild nearly sucked them out of the fuselage.

“Holy mother of God!” Dave shouted as he held onto the wall. “I’m not ready!”

“No turning back

now,

man!” Topher said as he took deep breaths. “We got a

game

to play!”

Without another word, Topher ran to the end and leapt off the plane, and he screamed his lungs out in excitement as he plunged towards the island. For a moment, the other contestants looked at each other with worried eyes, but one of them got over her fear quite fast—she was used to high jumps.

“Topher’s right—it’s now or never, people! To victoryyy!” Sky shouted as she leapt off the plane with the grace of a true gymnast; even in her initial descent, she did a curling front-flip before she began the plunge. It turned out that impressive display of acrobatics was just enough to rile up the cast of newcomers,

especially

the more outgoing of the bunch.

“Right!” Jasmine said as she stepped forward. “This bloody plane can kiss my arse!” With that, she took the dive, and following her, the twins in tracksuits rared to go next…

…well, at least,

one

of them did.

“W-wait, Amy, I’m—I’m not ready!”

“Dammit, Samey,” She said as she dragged her sister towards the exit. “First you take too long in the womb,

then

you take too long in the bathroom, and

now

you’re gonna take too long to start our careers?! No freaking

way!”

With a strong pull, the two tumbled out of the plane, screaming all the way, and this caused a further domino effect; Shawn bit the bullet and leapt off, followed by Sugar and Max, as each of them wanted to go earlier than the other, and after that, Beardo hopped off whilst whistling the sound of a falling bomb.

Scarlett, however, had a hand on her chin. “If I leap off at an approximate 30-degree angle off the 45-degree surface, then that

should

allow me to—”

“ —FLY, YOU FOOLS!”

Her train of thought was interrupted by the oddball trio of Leonard, Ella and Rodney, who all jumped at the same time. She sighed and pinched her nosebridge. “Screw it.”

Those last two words, coincidentally, came across Dave’s mind, as he jumped off alongside her. He screamed and flailed and cried and hyperventilated all at once, which actually impressed Scarlett, as she had not seen anyone do that outside of a mental institution.

“Hey!” She shouted to him as she fell, and her body faced belly-down. “Flailing around like a helpless buffoon

will

accumulate significant aerodynamic turbulence that

will

hinder your landing, so I suggest you calm down!”

Dave looked up at her, and soon after, his body adjusted to the sensation of falling. “G-good idea,” He said, but as he looked down and saw the island’s pine trees, he winced and closed his eyes. “Oh, God, I hope I don’t

die

up here! I’m

too young

to die!”

Scarlett rolled her eyes and pulled the parachute’s ripcord, and in an instant, her fall slowed down. “Pull on it!” She shouted as Dave plummeted.

Without any other options, and seeing as he fell towards some of the other contestants anyways, he grabbed the red cord and pulled it…

…and out came some plastic bags.

“What?!” Dave shouted, and soon after, he went back to screaming. As he did so, he fell towards the falling oddballs, and the oddest among them held out that fancy journal with all his might. It turned out that Rodney already pulled his parachute, but since he was so heavy, he fell just as quick as the other two.

“Wingardo,

levisium!”

Leonard shouted, and nothing happened. He cleared his throat as Ella gave Rodney a nervous look. She was about to pull her rip-cord as he spoke again. “

Wingaaardo, levisium!”

Just as he made that second attempt, Dave, who flailed as he zipped by them, accidentally loosened the belt around Leonard’s green robe, and when it flew off his waist, it spread out and slowed his descent—as it turned out, he had a parachute of his own, and he didn’t even know it. Had he not worn that robe, perhaps he

would

have been the first boot—a medevac, perhaps, but it seemed the stars aligned.

“Oooh!” Ella giggled. “Good job, Leonard,” She said as she pulled her cord and linked up with him—but much to their surprise, a swarm of bats escaped from her backpack, and for a moment, the boys gasped. Before they could scream, however, Ella squealed with delight.

“Sky puppies!” She said, and right afterwards, she sang out a princessy-like tune to the creatures. “Oh, puppies of the skyyy, won’t you please, oh please, help us flyyy~”

To the other oddballs’ shock, the bats squealed and latched onto Ella’s body, and they flapped their wings with delight as she sang. It was almost like her voice actually empowered them to carry her weight.

“Thank you, thank you, puppies of the skyyy, for saving my skin and not passing me by…”

She paused and patted the bats. “...Thank you again, you saved a

prima donna,

and now we’re on the way to

Totaaaal Dramaaa!”

With that, she linked up with Rodney, and when he linked with Leonard, their descent was quite peaceful—and the two oddballs gave her a bit of applause in response.

“My, you’re a natural-born beast-master!” Leonard said.

“Y-yeah… that was

awesome.”

Rodney said, his face turning red. He wanted to say more, but he felt something that almost paralyzed him, and he was not quite sure what it was. All he knew was that his eyes could not look away from their local princess. Until, of course, she looked back at him, and he looked away sheepishly.

“Thank you, thank you all~” Ella giggled, all the while the

rest

of the contestants suffered around them.

“AAAAAH! Curse you, Chris McLean!” Max shouted as some canned goods flew out of his parachute, and Sugar snorted as she glided away, laughing and pointing at the stout schemer.

“That’s what’cha

git,

you

dummy!”

Right after that, however, two bodies fell on her parachute, and they were all entangled in a mess of string and cloth. “Ah! Dag-nabbit! Get offa’ my

‘chute!”

She pulled and tugged as she fell, and when she got her bearings back, she ended up holding the culprits with each hand. It seemed, indeed, she

was

strong enough to carry a week’s worth of groceries in one trip, as the tracksuit twins provided little challenge. It also helped that their jackets were stretchy.

“Oh my gosh, thank you!” Samey said as her blue collar rubbed against her skin.

“Hey, wait a minute,” Amy said. “We fell

first,

so how’d we run into you? Is that, like, ‘cause of your weight or something?”

“Amy, no!” Samey pleaded, and Sugar growled. Her snarl turned to a smile, however, as she let the twins plummet towards the island. She snorted and laughed as they screamed and held each other close, and she was quite proud of herself for that, but when Samey pulled her rip-cord, and Amy hung onto her arm, the country-diva huffed. “Dangit.”

“W-why did you

say

that?” Samey asked as Amy held onto her like a koala. “We could’ve

died!”

“First of all,

Samey,

it was a totally fair and valid question. It’s all about psychics.”

“Wh—you mean

physics?”

Amy nudged her with an elbow, and Samey winced. “Just—shut up and get us to the island!” The meaner twin said, and she was as red as her tracksuit.

Speaking of

red,

that was the exact shade of Topher’s hand, as he tried his damndest to hold onto Sky, who, evidently, had a dud parachute. He winced and hyperventilated as he struggled to pull her up, and she too struggled to get up with just one hand. As it turned out, being the first to fall also meant being the first to land—a very obvious outcome, but it was an outcome that neither of them were really prepared for, especially in such a dire situation.

“SKY! GRAB MY SHOE!”

The gymnast did as she was told, and her hand first grabbed his shoe, and then his ankle. Topher screamed in pain as Sky held on for dear life. “Sorry!” She said, and she seemed to hold in something with her cheeks as she held on. Topher looked down and saw her face, and he screamed again.

“You are

not

gonna barf on my shoes! I

just

got this cleaned!” He tried to kick, but her gymnastic grip was too strong. Thankfully, whatever it was, she swallowed, and Topher let out a sigh of relief, which was

also

short-lived, because as it turned out, being the first to fall out of the plane meant they were the first to land.

It was a reality that struck them

hard.

Literally.

“Ow! Oof!” The two flopped onto the sandy beaches of Pahkitew Island, and before Chris could do anything, they were covered by Topher’s parachute.

“

Yikes.

Not a good start,” The host said, a hand on his chin. “But welcome to the show!” He did his little arms-outstretched pose, and less than a second later, Topher sprung out of the parachute’s canvas, literally tearing a hole in it and doing the exact same pose.

“Chris McLean!” He walked over and shook his hand, unprompted, but accepted. “Oh, man, it is

so

awesome to finally meet you in person! I’m a

huge fan,

sir—and I got nothing but

respect

for your work.”

He sent him a genuine smile which showed off his pearly whites, and Chris felt like he looked into a mirror. Particularly, a mirror that showed what

he

wanted to be when he was Topher’s age. Normally, he would have envied such a young man, but the compliments discarded any envious notions, for

now.

“Why, thank you, Topher, I appreciate the enthusiasm,” He said as Sky crawled out of the parachute, coughing up sand. “And there’s our next contestant, the olympic gymnast herself,

Sky!”

She paused for a moment as she stood up. “Wait.

Olympic?”

“Uh… yeah? That’s what the producers told me.” Chris shrugged.

Sky gasped. “Oh my gosh! I got into the olympic team and

this

is how I find out?! On

live

TV?” She looked into the camera with a nervous smile. “This is

crazy.”

“

Speaking

of crazy…”

“AAAHH!!!” Someone shouted, as Chris looked up at the sky. The two other contestants got a good look, and there they saw Max, who landed head-first into the shallow waters. The splash made them wince, but surprisingly, his stocky figure seemed to take no damage from the fall. Well, if there

was

any damage, it was surely hidden quite well, as Max stormed out of the lake with a scowl on his face.

“You’ve

sabotaged

the parachutes, you fiend!” He pointed at Chris, who smirked.

“So? What’re you gonna do about it, Max?” He asked.

“I…” Max tried to say something witty, but nothing came to mind. “...I will have to

applaud

you, actually. The simplest evils are

most

satisfying.”

“That they

are!”

Chris chuckled. Topher squinted at the short, purple haired guy and took note of his behavior—he did

not

want to compete for Chris’ attention, which was shorter than a kindergartener’s, but it seemed he already had a little competition. This was a problem.

It was a problem he would have to deal with later, however, as something scrawny struck Max from above. He was face-first in the sand, and Dave, who rested on his back, groaned in pain. “Finally, back on the ground…” He mumbled, but Max grabbed him without looking and tossed him aside. “Ah!”

“Ack!” Max spat out some sand. “I am

not

a landing pad, you fool!” He kicked some sand at Dave, who panicked and stumbled away. He was too busy wiping the sand off his body to reply. “Oh? What’s wrong?” Max cackled as he grabbed a handful of wet sand. “Have I found your

nemesis?!”

Dave then looked up and saw him winding up a throw, and he yelped and ran towards Chris. Max, who cackled harder, let go of the wet sand and dusted his palms. “It seems I

have.”

While all of this happened, Chris could not believe his eyes. Wasn’t Dave supposed to be the

normal

guy? It seemed his producers had tricks up their sleeves, too, but this was the nature of the show. Chris knew he had to make do with what he had, but the way Dave looked at him did

not

help the situation.

“Hey! Are you

crazy?!

You could’ve

killed

us!” He shouted, and Chris sneered back.

“I calculated the jump

specifically

so that you wouldn’t die, lawyer’s orders. Maybe you’ll get injuries

at worst.

Besides, you got

bigger

things to worry about, dude, like your

teammates!”

He pointed up at the sky, and there were the rest of the contestants.

First, there was the parachute-less Jasmine, who dove into the lake and swam to shore, followed by Shawn, who, despite having a parachute, ditched it and took a dive, as he was too far from the island. The tracksuit twins, too, floated down from the sky and landed in the shallow waters, and Sugar followed suit, her feet firmly planted in the sand. Well, maybe a little

too

firmly, as she struggled a bit to get out of the wet sand, to the point where she removed her sandals to escape the soaked ground.

“Wait,

those

are my teammates?” Dave asked.

“Well,

some

of ‘em,” Chris shrugged. “You’ll see.”

The short, vague answer made Dave sweat. As the oddballs floated together, and as Beardo’s glide came to a slow, calm halt, the cast was complete. Before they continued, however, Chris looked at Ella with a tinge of confusion. “Those bats were supposed to

bite

you guys! What gives?”

She laughed softly as the swarm of bats fluttered into the nearby woods. “I treated them with kindess, and they treated me in return.”

Chris groaned. He was immediately reminded of an annoying girl in green whom he never wished to see again. “Should’ve gone for the

vampire bats,

” He lamented.

“

Vampire

bats?” Rodney asked.

“

Anyway,

now that we’re all settled in…” Chris gestured to some interns, who suddenly appeared with two flags; one green and one red, and both rolled up.

“...it’s time for the

teams.”

The contestants had mixed reactions—some like Ella, Sugar and Topher were more than excited to begin, but Dave, Beardo and Sammy seemed quite reluctant to start. Regardless of how they felt, this was the first step to the million bucks, and there was no use delaying it.

“Everyone without a parachute, step to my left. Everyone who got one… well, fill in the blanks.”

They did as Chris told, however, there were already some problems.

“Amy. Go to the

left side.

You

do

know where that is, right?”

“But I

totally

had a parachute!” She retorted, as Samey grimaced. Every fiber of her being wanted to say otherwise, but something stopped her. Thankfully, Chris had no filter.

“

No,

you hung onto your sister, who

had

one. Now

get

over there.”

Amy huffed, and tried her damndest not to say anything bad. “Yes, sir.”

Samey sighed. Thank God, she thought, as Chris’ attention was set on another contestant who stepped out of line.

“You too, magic guy.

”

He pointed to the local wizard. “Go on and

join

her.”

“But—my magical robe acted as a magical parachute!”

“Doesn’t count, dude. Move it.” Whatever joy he felt with Topher and Max started to falter. He caught onto his harsh tone and cleared his throat as the interns walked over to each of the teams; Sky received her team’s red flag, while Topher held onto his team’s green flag.

“Now, since

this

season is all about living off the land, as you

should

be aware, Chef and I decided to get rid of the lame old team names, and with the help of a

special

advisor, we’ve come up with some

killer

tribe names for y’all. Topher!” Chris said, and the young man smiled in response. “Since

you

guys were lucky enough to fly down here, you guys are gonna be the—”

He paused as he grabbed a piece of paper from his pocket, and read the text out loud. “--The

Pimihawin Onocipiyesiwewak!

Which is Cree for the

Flying Hawks!”

Then, almost on-cue, Topher unfurled the flag, which had the face of the aforementioned aerial predator. Then, just as he saw the logo, Beardo covered his mouth and did a hawk call, which made their team appear cooler than usual. Chef smirked and nudged a pleased Chris, who whispered to him; “If he keeps this up, we can

totally

lay off post-production!”

“Cool!” Topher said.

“Now

that’s

a team name!” Sugar grinned, but her grin disappeared as she realized something. “But wait a minute, ain’t that the sound of a

bald eagle?”

She asked Beardo, who grumbled and shook his head.

“What?” She put her hands on her head. “I’d done been lied to my whole life!”

“What a

tragedy,”

Scarlett commented as she rolled her eyes. She, along with Chris, wanted to move on, and the host did just that.

“Now, Sky, unfortunately, you and your teammates just weren’t meant to fly. Which is

exactly

why

your

tribe will be called… The

Pahkisinwak Maskwak,

which means—”

“--The Falling Bears?” She finished his sentence, and Chris laughed a little as Beardo did a little bear growl. The flag itself depicted a screaming bear falling down, who was more scared than ferocious. As her teammates grumbled over the lesser name, the enemy team—mostly Sugar—laughed at them while Sky looked up at their host. “Wait, first of all, your pronounciation needs some practice, and second of all—how do you know Cree?”

“Oh, well… that special advisor I mentioned? Yeah. That was your

grandma.

Small world, huh?”

“Oh!”

Sky paused. She wanted to smile, and in the awkward silence, everyone wondered why she stopped talking. She squinted at Chris, and he squinted back.

“Would I be on the show if I

wasn’t

Cree?”

Chris narrowed his gaze. “No comment. Annnyway!” He disregarded the question in his signature style, that signature smile flashed on his face. If anything, that only ignited something in her chest, something fuelled by equal parts spite and resentment. As such, she put the Falling Bears’ flag over her shoulder and steeled herself for whatever the first challenge would be.

“As I said, this season isn’t like the last one—I mean, c’mon, how

could

it be, after, uh… the

incident.”

He chuckled nervously, and that got some suspicious looks from the cast, but he carried on. “All we got left are some cameras, the confessional, and most importantly…”

An intern tossed over something familiar; a steel briefcase. Chris caught it without a hitch, and he raised it to them. “...One million dollars!”

“Ooh, can we see it?” Ella asked.

“Yeah! Let’s see the money!” Sugar rubbed her palms, but Chris sighed in disappointment.

“It’s in the

bank.

Note to self, edit that out,” He whispered to himself as an intern brought the case away. “But enough of the chit-chat! For your

first

challenge, it’s pretty simple; you’re gonna need to make a shelter that can withstand the

conditions

of Pahkitew Island.”

Suddenly, thunder rumbled throughout the air, and it shook the ground a little. Everyone looked up and saw a thick blanket of clouds that covered the blue skies, and in the distance, the clouds grew darker and darker. “See what I mean? Luckily, you’re not

just

gonna work with the wild, here, we got a

little

something to help you build your new homes.”

Chris plucked a walkie-talkie from his pocket. “Host to Eagle, supply drop requested, over?”

Chef spoke after a bit of static. “Eagle to Host, supply drop inbound! Watch your head, now.”

Indeed, just as the static stopped, the very same cargo plane that brought the contestants dropped several crates throughout the shores of Pahkitew Island. Like a bombing run of sorts, Chef left a trail not of destruction, but construction materials, as Chris explained.

“You got all the stuff you need in there—saws, axes, bolts, hammers, nails, all

kinds

of things you’d find in a hardware store. Literally, it’s all we could find in the nearest town over.” He chuckled. “Though, that isn’t

all

we’ve got on the island—if you can keep your eyes open, folks, you

just

might find a few remnants of Wawanakwa scattered around.”

“Wait, remnants of Wawanakwa?” Shawn asked. “I thought you said all that’s left were the cameras and the confessional.”

“I lied.” Chris gave them that classic grin.

“Ha!” Topher said, somewhat forcefully. “Good one, Chris.”

“Thanks! Now, as much as I’d like to get this over with, we got a

commercial break

to do. So, for now, huddle up and make your plans, and

soon,

we’ll be kicking off our first challenge on…”

Topher gasped and whispered to the nearest teammate—Scarlett. “Oh my God, he’s gonna do the thing!”

“...Total. Drama. Pahkitew Island!”

Topher let out what could only be described as a fanboy squeal. Scarlett looked at him with disdain, then looked straight into the camera. She said nothing and shook her head.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“I say we build a cabin,” Sky said as she and her fellow Falling Bears stood in a circle. In the background, as she spoke, Chris whispered something inaudible to the interns, who were already raring to go with the tennis ball guns in their hands. Jasmine, who was the tallest of the bunch, noticed this, but she brought her attention back to their local Native Canadian descendant. “So, basically, we cut down some trees and—”“ —D’ya know how long it takes to cut down those massive pines?” Jasmine piped up, and Sky gave her a bit of a look as she retorted. “I say we build a treehouse. If ya can’t climb, we’ll just make a ladder outta some two-by-fours. Sound good?”“Actually,” Max interjected. “I have considered an evil lair, such as a cave, but considering the time crunch we are under, it may be more wise to build a treehouse. Not only do we have more vision of the island itself, but the fresh morning breeze shall surely keep our lungs satisfied.”
“Indeed!” Leonard added. “A treehouse is like a wizard tower, but perhaps more attuned with nature. A druid’s tower, if you may.” His words went over most of their heads, though Ella did nod and grin at the idea of a magical fortress in the treeline.“Right,” Jasmine said. “Treehouse it is!”
Sky nodded, but it turned out she had much more to say in the season’s first confessional. Of course, she spoke after the challenge had ended, but with the help of post-editing television magic, it was a seamless view into her inner thoughts.
“Look, I think I’m on this show just because I’m Cree,” She admitted so bluntly. “And honestly, that kinda makes me feel bad. Like, on one hand, sure, I’m a voice for all the Cree at home, but on the other hand…”
She sighed and put a hand on her head. “...I might’ve taken someone else’s slot, just ‘cause I was lucky. I wanna prove to everyone that I deserve to be here, and I kinda wanted to do that by being the team leader, but Jasmine… she knows way more about nature than I do.” She crossed her arms and huffed.
“And if I can’t be a leader… I might as well be a team player.” Her words ignited a spark in her chest, and her smile lit up the dingy confessional. “Yeah. Like coach says, there’s no I in team, but there’s a we in winner. I mean, there’s an I in there, too, but—gah, you know what I mean.”
After that little snippet concluded, it was the Hawks’ turn to strategize.
“Ideally,” Shawn said. “The fastest shelter to create in a wilderness situation is a simple hut. I’ve made those before, but, uh… not for this many people.”
“So? We’ll just make a bigger one.” Sugar so proudly smirked. “I mean, bigger is better, ain’t it?”
Topher shrugged. “Can’t argue with that. Besides, if we can scrounge some stuff from Wawanakwa’s set, this’ll be a breeze,” He said as he turned to Shawn. “So, Mr. Survival Expert, how do we—”
“ —Get ready, people!” Chris shouted through a megaphone. Everyone wondered where that came from, since it wasn’t on him previously, but there was little time to speculate. “Before we start, I’ll need one representative from each team. It’s time for the coin toss!”
“Uh, I’ll go!” Sky jumped at the opportunity, and Jasmine gave her a look.
“Ooh! I love me a good wager,” Sugar said as she stepped forward, and no one on her team objected. “Hey, wait a minute, what’s this for anyway?”
Chris said nothing and flipped a coin—a loonie, to be exact—which was worth exactly one Canadian dollar. When it landed on the back of his hand, his other palm covered it up, and the two representatives listened to him closely. “Call it.”
“Wait, for what?” Sky asked.“Just call it,” Chris said, a little peeved.
“What’re we callin’ for here?” Sugar asked. “Like, we ain’t even wagered yet.”
“Actually, you have,” The host chuckled. “I mean, ever since you got on that plane, ever since you recorded yourselves for the audition tapes, you’ve already placed your bets and you didn’t even know it—your lives, your reputations, your fame— that’s what’s on the line here. Got that? Now call it.”
Everyone looked at Chris funny after his little monologue; in that moment, it was almost like they were listening to an entirely different person. For that one spiel, they could not believe these cryptic words could come out of this narcissistic figure of a man. It was something that intimidated the duller of the bunch, and it also confused their smarter peers. For the first time, Sugar’s confidence dropped. She looked at Sky, who exhaled to release some tension. “Tails.”
“Heads is fine,” Sugar replied. With that, Chris lifted his hand and revealed the loonie, whose namesake, the loon, showed itself to the world. Sugar cringed while Sky let out a sigh of relief.
“Alright!” His host-like vibe returned. “So, Sky, you get to choose—do you wanna build on the eastern side of the island, or on the west?” “Oh! Uh…” She looked up and down the beach, and she could feel the blood rushing up to her face. “...east?”“East it is!” Chris smiled, and he pointed over Sky’s shoulder. “Which is that way, by the way. Hopefully, y’all don’t forget about that. Anyways, Sugar, that leaves you and the Flying Hawks to go that-a-way.” He pointed towards the crates.“Great,” Amy blurted. “Now we gotta carry the tools twice as far.” To which Jasmine elbowed her—but since she was so tall, the elbow tapped the back of her head. “Ow! What gives?”
“Anyway!” Chris intervened. “You guys got until sundown to build your shelters. By then, it would’ve been battered by the incoming storm, so the most intact shelter wins. And remember to hang up those flags somewhere—and do not lose them. Seriously, I don’t have any spares.”
The two flag-bearers of the teams, Sky and Topher, who had their flags folded up, gripped them a little tighter.
“With that said, that storm’s coming any second now, so what’re you waiting for, people? Build! Those! Shelters!” He shouted and gestured towards the crates, and he regretted that almost immediately, as all fourteen teenagers ran past him and nearly trampled him on the sand. As he regained his bearings and looked upon the newest batch of contestants, he dusted the sand off his chest. “Wow. Didn’t think that speech would actually work.”
Indeed, his unusually serious words burrowed into the minds of the Pahkitew Island pioneers, as even the seemingly delusional Leonard jumped at the opportunity to loot every last bit of hardware he could find. He already had three hammers tucked into his robe, and in the other, he found more materials for their treehouse. “The nails are in my grasp!” He proudly proclaimed.
“Right! Any sign of the two-by-fours?” Jasmine asked as she grabbed an axe and a crowbar.
“Way ahead of you,” Sky said as she carried planks of wood over her shoulders. “Has anyone seen the saws?”
“It’s mine, Samey!”
“Stop calling me Samey!”
They turned to the tracksuit twins, who did an impromptu game of tug-of-war with the holy grail of logging equipment—a two-man saw. Its teeth were sharper than knives, and its blade was longer than the sub-clauses on their contracts. Right then and there, the three Falling Bears dropped whatever they had and rushed over to Amy’s side. “Come on, people, put your backs into it!” Jasmine blurted out as she gripped the giant handle. Sky did the same, and Samey almost let go of the massive tool, until one of her teammates provided some well-needed backup.
“Oh, no you don’t!” Rodney said. “She found it first! ”
In one swift swipe, using only one arm, Rodney overpowered the Falling Bears. The sheer strength was enough to knock them down to the ground, and they faceplanted onto the sand.
“Woah!” Sammy gasped as Rodney put the saw over his shoulder. He held it so casually, one would think that it weighed nothing at all. “Thanks, big guy, I owe you one,” She said as the two walked westward.
That brought a blush on his face, and he chuckled. “It’s Rodney. And, uh… you’re welcome.”
As they walked away, the three Falling Bears dusted themselves off and stood up, with a little help from the rest of their teammates. “Are you alright?” Ella asked, and when Jasmine was about to answer that, one half of the tracksuit twins gave in to her anger.“Dammit!” Amy spat out some sand. She shook a fist at the enemy team and screamed at the top of her lungs. “I hope your shelter gets flooded and filled with… uh, rats!”
Sky cringed a little and put a hand on her shoulder. “Hey, don’t let it get to your head—we got a treehouse to build!”
“And our materials are more than sufficient,” Leonard said as he undid his robe right in front of them. Their hearts stopped for one second, as some of them feared he wore barely anything underneath it, but as it turned out, he had a t-shirt and shorts on. More importantly, along the insides of his robe were most of the things they had scavenged thus far, and as it turned out, while the girls squabbled over the giant saw, the rest of their team had done their part. Surprisingly, Leonard’s spread of loot also included some pouches of glitter, for some reason.
“Remarkable,” Max said. “You remind me of this odd fellow who sold watches in an alleyway.”
“Why not sell it in the mall like a normal person, is he stupid?” Amy asked, and before Max could answer, Jasmine picked up the axe from the ground and pointed to the forest before them.
“Save the chit-chat for later, let’s move!”
With that, the Falling Bears became the Running Bears, as they rushed into the treeline with their tools in hand. Their rivals, the Flying Hawks, found themselves somewhat stuck on the beach—perhaps quite literally.
“C’mon! Get me outta here!” Sugar shouted as she sank into the wet sand. Next to her was a crate filled with boxes of screws, and as she tried to escape, the tide rolled in and the crates sunk along with her. Rodney held onto her with great force, but no matter what he did, she remained a victim of the rising tide.
Rodney realized, as he pulled, he too would sink. He looked down and realized his ankles were covered in sand, and he looked around at his teammates. “Guys! I’m sinking! Guys?”
It turned out that Sammy was far away from them, at the other end of the beach, where the rest of the crates were, while Scarlett and Shawn were near the treeline, arguing about something. Beardo was not far from them, and he held up a mirror for Topher to fix his hair. Unfortunately, the sounds of the wind rustling the trees, in combination with Scarlett and Shawn’s words, drowned out Sugar and Rodney’s voices.
“It’s not gonna work,” Shawn said. “If we attempt a log cabin in such a short window of time, we’re gonna end up without a roof! And what happens with no roof? We lose. And I do not wanna lose on the first day, alright?”
“We literally have an industrial grade two-man saw,” Scarlett retorted. “And in addition, Rodney’s strength can surely—wait, where has he gone, anyways?”
Luckily, she cut herself off and looked around. When she saw her teammates in peril, she shouted too and pointed at them. “The sand!”
Shawn gasped. “Lay flat on your back!” He said as the rest of them snapped out and ran towards the two. Even Sammy, who held up a sack of coal in the distance, realized how far she was from everyone else and sprinted along the beach.
“What? What was that?!” Sugar screamed.
“Lie down!” Scarlett screamed back. “Your body will lift itself out of the sand! Like a fulcrum!”
“I don’t know what a fulcrum is, but okay!” Rodney replied as he did as he was told. Thankfully, Sugar did the same, and in a pinch, the weight of their upper bodies gave enough leverage for their feet, and soon enough they were free from the clutches of Pahkitew Beach.
“Gee, thanks! I thought I was gonna be fish food.” Rodney said as he wiped the wet sand off his overalls. Sugar shook off the sand, then stomped past and grabbed some screws.
“We better get goin’, unless y’all wanna get wet.” She gestured to the rainclouds in the distance, which already poured over the mainland. As everyone else picked up the things they dropped, Topher realized this could be a great opportunity to shine, and so he put their flag over his shoulder and gripped a hacksaw with determination.
“Don’t worry, folks!” Topher walked into the forest, and did a little speech as they followed him. “Our team’s got both the brains and the brawns—and with our powers combined, we can make a shelter that can put those stupid Bears to shame. Am I right?”
He stopped and turned to them with a pearly-white smile, and they looked back with a little awkwardness at first, until someone broke it. “Heck yeah!” Sugar hollered. “I like the way you think, pretty boy.”“Why, thank you.” He shot a grin as he turned back to the wilderness. “Now, where’s a good place to build…?”
“Now that’s a proper tree right there,” Jasmine said as she looked up at a thick-trunked tree that towered over them. “Must be about three stories, that thing.”
“So… how do we actually construct a treehouse?” Max put a hand on his chin. In response, Jasmine leapt off the ground and grabbed onto a thick branch as her teammates looked in awe—this lanky, tall Outback girl climbed the tree like a fish in the sea—completely naturally. She didn’t even seem fazed as she scaled the massive thing.
“Well, first off, whoever can follow me to the top, bring up the nails and the planks. We gotta build the foundation, yeah?”
“Uh, right!” Sky jumped at the chance and tucked some planks under her armpits. Usually, she could scale a rock wall with ease, but with the materials and the team flag tied around her arm, they made her feel like a rookie again. If her hands were not as strong as they were, she might have fallen off, and as they scaled the tree, Sky did her best to stave off those thoughts. It turned out, however, that following Jasmine was a good idea, as she found the grip on the bark, and all Sky had to do was to copy her.
“Seems good,” Jasmine said as she sat on a thick branch. She leaned down and grabbed the planks from Sky, which gave her a bit of space. “Did ya bring the nails?”
Sky’s face flushed. “Uh… sorry.”
Jasmine sighed, then looked down to Leonard. “Oi! Wizard man, ya got any nails?”
“I most certainly do!” He replied so enthusiastically, and with that, he tossed a box upwards with shocking speed and accuracy. Sky barely caught it.
“Hey, nice throw!”
“Why, thank you. A wizard must always be at the ready to cast some spells.”
Max grumbled at that. “Perhaps we should be prepared to build a ladder, hm? Quit your dawdling and pass the hammer, wizard boy.”
Leonard scowled down at him, and though he took it poorly, he handed over the tool.
“Oh! May I help?” Ella asked, and Leonard smiled and handed her a hammer, too. He pulled out some planks of wood from his robe and laid them down on the ground, while Amy looked down at the pile and then up at the two defacto leaders above them. One of them was not particularly pleased that she was idly standing by.
“Oi, Amy!” Jasmine called out. “If you’re not gonna build the ladder, either come up here or look for the stuff from Wawanakwa—same goes for you.” She pointed to Dave, who was still unsure of himself.“Uh, yeah! We’ll look for the stuff!” She hollered back, and without any objections, the two were off into the forest, but not for long.“Hey!” Jasmine called out again, and Amy growled under her breath. “Don’t get lost, alright? Better leave markers or somethin’.”
“Yeah, fine, whatever!” She replied, and Jasmine gave her a look as she walked away.
“What a cunt,” Jasmine said, and Sky’s eyes widened at her bluntness. “If she doesn’t drop that bloody attitude, she’s not gonna be worth our trouble. The last thing we need is someone makin’ this survival situation even worse. ”
Sky just nodded, and although Jasmine wanted to say more, she stopped herself in the moment and continued to hammer in the nails with the unusually sturdy planks of wood they found. However, she could not keep these thoughts in forever, and so she went to the confessional later that day.
“I’ve worked with a lot of snobs before—mostly tourists— so I know what it’s like to have someone boggin’ you down,” She explained, her body hunched over to fit inside the outhouse. “The thing is, on those Outback hikes, I gotta put up with ‘em for my paycheck, but here? Amy isn’t paying me a fuckin’ cent. So right now, she’s on my hit-list for sure.”
With a flicker of static, the camera feed switched to the two outliers of the Falling Bears as they walked aimlessly through the forest. “Let’s just, like, walk in a straight line or something. That way, we don’t have to leave stuff behind or whatever,” Amy said, and Dave turned around to check something—indeed, in the distance, he saw his teammates slowly scaling the tree.
“Uh, yeah, good call,” The shy guy said. “Just don’t forget where—”
Suddenly, a loud series of roars overwhelmed their ears. In fact, the roars were so loud that they shook the ground a little, and they ducked down to a nearby bush. “What was that?!” Dave shouted under his breath, barely enough to hide from whatever beasts arrived, but just enough to keep them undercover.
“Sounded like my sister in bed,” Amy whispered, and Dave’s jaw dropped.
“What?! Wait, are you serious—”
“Shh!” Amy pointed towards the forest, and their eyes drifted towards a shadow on the ground; a silhouette of a bear crept upon them, and from that silhouette came two smaller ones. The air of Pahkitew Island, which was crisp and fresh, suddenly smelt thick and musky. Dave’s eyes watered as he covered his nose, and Amy did the same. “Ugh, stupid bears…”
Amy was right—they were bears, but not just any bears—they were humongous brown bears. Each time their paws hit the grassy ground, they felt the bush rustle around them, and had the bears been more silent, the trio would have mistaken the situation for an earthquake. As the beasts advanced, they sniffed the air and the ground, as if they had been tracking something, and when they crawled a good distance away from the trio, they stuck their heads out of the bush.
“... finally,” Amy said as she plucked some leaves off her jogging pants. “Let’s, like, go wherever they’re not going.”
“Good call,” Dave said. “Better safe than sorry.”
“Whatever,” She scoffed as she picked up the pace. “Let’s find those scraps before they do.”
Soon, Dave realized that her tracksuit wasn’t just for show; despite the somewhat uneven terrain that laid before them, Amy jogged steadily. More importantly, she jogged quickly, and Dave, clad in his sweater vest and polo shirt and jeans, wondered why he dressed up this way. A part of him thought that it was a matter of his parents’ sterile standards, and keeping up appearances, so to speak, and that scared him. Was he really becoming like his parents? It was something he dreaded, but it was nothing compared to the current situation, he figured, as Amy disappeared into the forest towards a clearing. “Wait!”
“Ugh, keep up, geeky boy.” She stopped and turned towards him. “Moving slowly isn’t gonna get us that win.”
“I wasn’t slow,” Dave retorted. “You’re just too freaking fast!”
Amy scoffed. “Keep this up and you’re off the team, loser.”
“Okay, okay!” Dave raised his hands. “What do you want me to do?”“Just don’t drag me down. And by me, I mean this team, too,” She said as she walked up to him. She pointed a finger and pressed it against his sweater vest. “That British girl’s on my case, and I don’t need any more problems. I need to win, so make yourself useful, got it?!”“Y-yes ma’am!” He nodded.“Jesus, Amy, what is wrong with you?” A voice came from behind them, and Amy growled. The two turned to face its source—the twin in blue, Sammy, who was accompanied by none other than Beardo. “Give him a break, or something.”
“A break? We just started, that doesn’t even make any sense, Samey.” She walked up to her and tried to look down on her, but they were the same height, which slightly complicated things. “Besides, what do you care, you’re on the other team, so beat it. ”
With that, she stuck a finger in Sammy’s shoulder and pushed her back. The twin in blue cowered at the gesture, but Beardo, whose confidence from the five dollars still remained, scowled at the enemy twin. He put a hand over his mouth and made a sound that none of them could hear, but the gesture alone gave him odd looks.
“You too, beatbox guy. Scram!” Amy said. As she said that, Dave sniffed the air. It was heavy and musky. The ground began to rumble once more, and the nerdy guy looked over his shoulder.
“Amy…” He stepped away, and their eyes followed him as his steps turned to a desperate sprint. “...RUN!”
“Wha—” The two twins looked past where Dave stood, and to their shock, they saw a family of brown bears, their fangs bared, and their muzzles dripping with spit. The twins screamed at the same time, and Amy followed Dave’s wake, while Beardo tugged at Sammy’s tracksuit. The two groups of scavengers were split into two, both fleeing into the forest out of blind fear.
“Beardo! Why did you do that?!” Sammy asked as she sprinted alongside him. In response, he looked up and pointed to the sky, and his finger directed her eyes to a pillar of smoke. “Ohh! Shawn actually got a fire started, that’s great! We can totally find our way back now, right?”
He nodded, and soon after, he pulled out something from his pocket—a five dollar bill. As they ran, he handed it back to her, and he uttered his first words on the island. “You should keep it,” He said in a low, calm voice. “And… I’mma tell you a secret; I’ve been bullied, too, and if there’s anything you gotta do to stop it, you gotta fight back.”
Sammy gasped. “Y-you’re right,” She said as she pocketed the bill. For a second, she turned back and looked behind them, and it seemed the bears did not follow their trail, so they stopped. “But it’s just… Amy’s so scary. I just don’t know what I’m gonna do when I see her again…” She sighed as she trailed off, and Beardo sighed, too.
“Look, we’ll figure it out. For now, let’s just—”
His words were cut off as a crate fell from the treeline and crashed before them. The two screamed and jumped back, but when they saw the red words stamped on the cracked wood, they broke out of their adrenaline rush.
“Property of Chris McLean and associates,” Sammy read, and her eyes widened at the more recent black stamp below it. “For immediate destruction? By order of the Superior Court?!”
Beardo whistled. “Guess the charges weren’t dropped, unlike that big-ass box.”
“Hey, that rhymed!” Sammy smiled, and Beardo returned a smug, close-eyed smirk.
“Mhm, I freestyle as a side-hustle,” He explained. “Now, let’s open this up, before we, uh…” He paused as he approached the crate. “...Damn, I dropped the rhyme. Let’s get to buildin’ time.”
“Heh, there we go.” Sammy chuckled as she opened the crate’s cracked top.
“Oh, yeah! I still got it,” Beardo said as he peered inside. When they eyed what was inside, however, their smiles shifted to frowns. Beardo leaned in and picked up the first thing he saw.
“The heck is this supposed to be?” He asked as he eyed a peculiar little device—a metal armband with a grey triangle. Sammy bent over and grabbed another armband, and looked it up and down. She narrowed her gaze as she looked at a tiny switch on the side of the gadget, and when she pushed it, the grey triangle lit to a dull green.
“Woah! Hey, I remember this,” Sammy tried on the armband, and she fit it on her wrist like a loose bracelet of sorts. She stuck out her arm and wondered if it fit her tracksuit’s color scheme as she explained. “It’s the stuff they gave the guys on Revenge of the Island! You know, that one episode with the radioactive mine and the giant man-eating gophers?”
Beardo gulped and blinked. “What?”
“Oh, you—you didn’t see it?”
Then, as if Beardo’s anxiety could not grow even more, the thunder from the skies rolled over their heads, and the ground shook a little from nature’s wrath. “Aw, we gotta go!” He said as he picked up the crate—which was surprisingly light—and thanks to that, he ran off with Sammy by his side.
“We need to find our way back!” Dave whispered under his breath.
“Shh! Shut up, just shut up!” Amy whispered back as the air grew heavier. They now hid behind tree trunks, their backs flat against the bark as the family of brown bears snarled and sniffed behind them. “Stupid sound guy, I give him five bucks and this is how he returns my favor? That backstabbing find!”
Dave wanted to whimper out of fear—in fact, he was barely holding it together—but that misplaced word snapped him out. “What? Find?”
“Yeah, you know, like, the thing you call bad guys! A find!” She whispered at the edge of whispering volume.
The frustration boiled on his face. “You mean fiend?!”
The bears growled. Dave was incredulous for a split second—a world record—and as the beasts crept behind the trees to face them, he could not stop shaking. “I’m going to die… over crappy public school education!”
Amy trembled too, but her anger overcame her fear. “Public school?! I wouldn’t be caught dead in public school!”
Then, the two biggest brown bears leaned in and sniffed them, mostly as a reminder to Amy, who finally shut up. They opened their jaws, and the two screamed at the top of their lungs as they met their fate. However, as it turned out, their fate extended far further than Dave’s blunder and Amy’s horrible comprehension of the English language.
Suddenly, the two of them heard beautiful whistling, and as the bears paused, they did, too. They looked to the source, and it was Ella who brought the melody to life, and Amy recognized it—a song from a film she saw as a child—somehow, in this moment of fear, the title eluded her, but it had something to do with toys coming to life. When her voice finished humming the instrumental intro, however, the memories came back rushing.
“You’ve got a friend in me,” Ella sang as she stood between the bears. “You’ve got a frieeend in me!” She put her hands around the bears’ necks, and their fangs made way for toothless smiles. “When the road is, rough aheaaad, and you’re miles and miles from your nice warm bed…”
To her teammates’ disbelief, she began kicking her legs in time with the song, and the bears followed along. “... now just remember what your old pal said, ‘cause yooou got a friend in me!”
As she whistled the clarinet’s notes, she hugged the bears, and after they returned the hug, they trotted away from the trio. Ella waved back and ended her tune, bowing at the bears, who were her most captive audience. Speaking of audience members who were held captive, Amy and Dave’s jaws hit the floor. When a fly almost entered the nerd’s mouth, he snapped out of it and clapped his hands profusely. “Bravo! That was fantastic!”
“What he said!” Amy said, as she clapped too. This was probably the most she had smiled throughout the whole trip, and if she had a nickel for every time she smiled after a vocal performance on this season, she would have had two of them—which wasn’t much, but it was quite peculiar that it happened twice. “How’d you do that? Can you talk to animals?”Ella giggled and bowed at them, too. “Well, I suppose you could say that, but I find that singing to them grabs their attention, for me, at least.”
“H-how’d you make them happy?” Dave asked as he scratched his head. “And how’d you find us?”
She chuckled behind a pink, gloved hand. “Silly you, you ran back to our treehouse!” She pointed at their base, which was a stone’s throw away from where they stood. They saw the side of the Falling Bears’ headquarters, where Max hammered a nail into the balcony railing. With one final strike, he let out a triumphant laugh.
“Mwahaha!” He shouted. “The indestructible base of the Falling Bears is complete! Surely, no eeevil beasts shall reach us here—” He paused his monologue and eyed the trio in the distance. “---Wait a moment, where are the supplies from Wawanakwa?!” He called out.
Amy and Dave felt their stomachs curdle, and they could only eye each other for any sign of a good response. Then, once more, Ella came to their aid. “They’ve just barely avoided a bear attack! I believe it is best to return to our nice, cozy shelter, don’t you think, my friends?” She turned to the two, who nodded.
“Y-yeah! Gotta, uh, rest up or whatever,” Amy said.
“Mhm!” Dave nervously grinned, then shouted to Max to plead his case. “Besides, the stuff from Wawanakwa’s not going anywhere, you know! We can always scavenge tomorrow, you know, when the bears aren’t out to kill us?”
Max put a hand on his chubby chin and scratched a make-believe beard. “Hmm! You are all wiser than I thought. Very well, then! Come up here and revel in our new living quarters!”
With that last word, lightning flashed before all of them, and the loud crackling shattered their ear drums, as the bolt struck the ground in front of the trio. “Ah!” Ella covered her ears and winced, while Amy powered through the pain and grabbed the princess’ pink shoulder.
“C’mon! Let’s get outta here!” She said, and Dave trailed them as rain fell onto Pahkitew Island, though that was not all that the weather brought.
The wind struck them with a primal kind of force, and it was so strong that even the simple act of climbing up the treehouse’s entrance ladder proved difficult. Had they not taken shelter in the thick of the woodlands, they would have been completely soaked, and possibly, they would have been thrown around like the leaves that fluttered off the branches. Thankfully, Ella and Amy reached the treehouse in time, but as Dave scaled the side of the tree, he felt his forearms cramp up.
“Agh! Not now! Out of all the times to—”
Suddenly, a long and dark limb extended downwards, and when he grabbed it and looked up, he saw the unmistakable Jasmine. He gasped a little and let out a goofy smile, though her face was dead serious. “C’mon! Let’s get in there,” She said as she pulled him up, and when they found themselves at the doorway to the treehouse, they walked inside and saw the rest of the Falling Bears occupied with their new home’s interior.
Surprisingly, it was cozy, despite being made within the hour—the centerpiece of the house was the actual tree itself, and the house was built around it, like some kind of wooden donut. Well, it was not as round as a donut would be, due to a lack of craftsmanship, but what it lacked in aesthetics, it made up for in practicality.
As Jasmine lowered her head and walked back outside for some reason, Dave wondered what else there was to do. Amy and Ella seemed to acclimate themselves in their treehouse, which had a sturdy, tall roof, but it was not exactly waterproof. Some water seeped between the boards, but it was only a fraction of a fraction of rainfall compared to what waited outside, so it was more than acceptable.
His eyes wandered to the side of the room, where Leonard and Max sawed off some excess wood from the planks on the windowsills. He scoffed, but he had no idea just how efficient those two were when they were paired up together—it was like two candidates for Valedictorian assigned to the same project; great execution at the cost of stress. Indeed, it seemed, the Falling Bears’ base was built out of spite. As he passed them by, he overheard what they said.

“I did not expect such levels of craftsmanship to come from those skinny hands of yours,” Max said as excess wood fell to the floor. “Tell me, what do you do outside of your… arcane arts?”
“Well,” Leonard said as he reached into his robe. As he spoke, he pulled out a square of sandpaper and smoothed out the bottom of the windowsill. “My hobby, live action role-playing, does entail a good chunk of woodwork… and metalwork… and foam work. Is there such a word? Bah, never mind, what I mean to say is, in order to acquire the equipment for various different adventures, I must take matters into my own hands, so to speak.”
“Live action… role-playing? Is this some sort of contrived way to play pretend? Like a child?” Max hardly held in his laughter, which came out as cackles, and Leonard huffed.
“Watch your tongue, tiny one, lest I hex you!”
“Tiny?! Well, I—”Max was prepared for war, but through the windowsill, lightning flashed in the air. Almost a second later, the thunder crackled and jolted everyone’s eardrums, and Max dropped the saw on the ground. “Alright, alright! I shall—watch my words, then.” He cleared a lump in his throat as Leonard sanded down the rough edges.
That whole exchange made Dave a little nervous. What was their deal, he thought, and why did they talk like that? He just hoped that someone else would be a little more normal than those two, considering how dire this whole season seemed to be. After all, as he was told, no man is an island, and as he walked around the tree trunk that anchored their house, he hoped to find someone to confide in.
That person ran right into him.
“Ow!” The two said as they staggered back. Dave was a little shook up, but when he looked ahead, he saw Sky rubbing her temple. She had the flag of the Falling Bears draped over her shoulder, and in her other hand was a hammer.
“Oh, gosh, I’m so sorry–” Dave said, but Sky spoke over him.“--No, no, I’m sorry, I was like, not paying attention at all ,” She said. “You alright?”Dave was grateful his skin was dark—it covered up his blush. “Y-yeah, I’m fine. You, uh, looking for a place to put that up?” He pointed to the flag.
“Yeah, actually. I’ve been thinking about putting it outside, but… the wind and the rain and all, it’s not really a good idea.”
“Yeah, it’s not,” Dave said as he turned to the tree. “But how about here? I mean, he did say hang it up, he didn’t say it had to be outside, right?”
Sky thought for a moment and grinned. “Oh! That totally slipped my mind—thank you, uh…”
“Dave.” He smiled back.
She nodded and turned to the tree trunk, hammer in hand. When she pinned a corner of the flag to the bark, she pulled a nail out of her pocket. “I’m Sky, nice to meet you, Dave. Um, would you mind—”
Before she could speak, he rushed over to the flag and held it up for her. “--Yeah, thanks.”
“You’re welcome,” He said as she gingerly hammered the nail into the bark. When she moved to the other side to do the same thing, she continued the conversation. “So, Dave, why’d you join the show, anyways?”
“Oh, uh…” He chose his words carefully as Sky hammered in the next nail. “...Honestly, I didn’t think they’d give me a chance. I mean, there’s so many people out there that are cooler than me, but… I dunno. I’m just some guy.”
“Aw, well, isn’t the point of this show to, like, bring out the best in people? I mean, you remember Gwen, right? A total loner and an outcast, but as the season went on, she just kept getting better and better!” Sky triumphantly hammered in the nail, then she squatted down for the bottom corner. Dave followed along and held it up as she continued her speech. “And Cameron, too, I mean, he was a freaking bubble boy turned champion!”
“Sorry, I didn’t see that season,” Dave admitted.
“What?!” Sky blindly swung her hammer, and it almost hit his hand, but he retracted it. Her face turned red as Dave’s heart raced. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry, I wasn’t—”
“--Where are those little buggers?”
Dave and Sky stood up and looked out the windowsill, and there stood Jasmine, looking out into the forest before them. The hat she wore was quite handy, as it kept her head dry, but with all the wind, the rest of her seven-foot frame was soaked. That didn’t seem to concern her, however, as she peered into the distance.
“Wait, who are you looking for?” Dave asked as he leaned on the windowsill, which was remarkably smooth. Perhaps Leonard knew his stuff after all, he thought. “Someone on the enemy team?”
“Nah mate,” Jasmine shook her head, and she didn’t even turn around to face them—despite not being on the Flying Hawks, her eyesight was just like their namesake’s. “I’m keepin’ an eye out for the interns.”
Sky and Dave eyed each other. “The interns?” They asked.
“I probably should’ve mentioned it sooner, but while we were all huddled up on the beach, those bloody interns were all kitted up with these tennis ball guns, and Chris had this weird look about him. So, naturally, I reckoned they were up to no good, so I kept watch.”
“Tennis ball guns?” Sky asked. “What, to shoot us with? What kind of survival show would that be?”
“It’s Total Drama,” Dave added. “It’s not really a survival show in the first place. Well, unless you’re talking about surviving Chris McLean’s plans, of course.”
That got a chuckle out of the girls. “Right on, mate,” Jasmine replied. “Well, wherever those bloody interns are, I doubt they’ll find us. The other team, though…” She shrugged with a smirk.
“Get—ow! Get to cover!” Shawn shouted as a tennis ball struck his beanie-wearing head. As he dolphin-dived into the nearest piece of cover, a mossy rock, tennis balls flew across their campground like loose leaves in the autumn breeze, except the leaves had the impact force of hail, and the autumn breeze was really a billowing monsoon wind.
“Ayo! Quit it—argh!” Beardo was pelted with tennis balls as he fell to the ground, and the two interns-turned-commandos had evil grins on their faces. As they shot at everything that moved, Sammy peeked behind their half-finished shelter, which was essentially a giant bunker-like tent covered in leaves and wood. Well, it was supposed to be covered in leaves and wood, but most of the leaves were scattered to the wind.
“What are we gonna do?!” She shouted as the tent shuddered and shook with every shot. “They’re totally gonna make us lose!”
“This is so, completely unfair!” Topher said as he hit the dirt, barely dodging a stray ball. “And yet, it’s something I probably should have expected. It’s classic Chris!”
“You know what else is classic Chris?” Sugar asked. “Givin’ our team the first boot! And my fat ass ain’t gonna be the first boot, so who’s with me?”
“W-with you on what?” Sammy asked, but Sugar answered her question with a simple action; she stood up and charged out of the tent. With a roaring shout that only a crazed country girl could do, she ran through the storm of tennis balls with all her might.
“COME ON, YOU—”
A single tennis ball bounced off a tree and struck her right on the back of the head, and she fell flat on her face. The interns snickered amongst themselves as the Hawks gasped from behind cover. “Oh, no!” Sammy clutched Topher’s arm. “W–we gotta help her!”
“And get balls on my face?! No way!”Meanwhile, Shawn peeked over some cover and barely dodged the balls that flew overhead. “This is just like the simulations,” He mumbled to himself, and as he was deep in combative thought, someone else came out from the treeline, clutching a crate filled with berries and some items from Wawanakwa. “Scarlett! Get to cover!”
“What?” She looked on, and in one second, she realized the problem. Without hesitation, she ran for cover with the crate in her arms, the contents rattling and squishing some of the berries she gathered. “Since when was an ambush a component of the challenge?!”
“It’s not really an ambush if they’d tell us about it.”
“Fair point.” Scarlett nodded. “So what now?”
Shawn closed his eyes and inhaled deep. When he opened his eyes, a fire stoked inside of him. “We retaliate!”
“Well, it’s a good thing I brought this, then.” She pulled out a black, rough object from the scavenged crate—a frying pan. Shawn grinned and took hold of the thing, and he gave it a few exploratory swings.“This is perfect! It’s both a shield and a blunt weapon. What else did you bring?”
Scarlett gave him a devious smile. The way she looked him in the eyes sent shivers down his spine, and when her hand slowly picked up a long, shiny, sharp object from the crate, he clutched his pan a little harder. That fire in his heart wavered.
“Cooking supplies,” She said as she brandished a bread knife. “These must have come from Wawanawka’s mess hall—surely, we’ll be able to make better use of it than whatever Chef Hatchet so sorely attempted.”
“Heh, for sure, yeah.” He chuckled a little, but in that moment, his heart pounded even quicker. “But let’s not waste time—we gotta get these guys outta here!”“With pleasure,” She said.
“On my lead,” He said as he took a breath. He looked over the rocks, and they were busy pelting the tent with balls, and with each shot, their humble base rattled apart. He slowly stood up, and Scarlett did the same, and with their slow but steady walking, they approached them in the mayhem. “NOW!”
Beardo, who looked up at them, gasped as Shawn slammed a frying pan down on an intern’s head. The clang from the cast-iron material rattled the attacker’s skull, and as he collapsed, Scarlett eyed a second intern, who did not hesitate to fire.
She was much quicker, however. With a shift in her step, she dodged left, then right, as she ran closer towards their assailant. With each advancement, the intern stepped back and kept firing ball after ball, adrenaline pumping through his system and air pumping through the cannon, but all of that was put to a stop in an instant when he bumped into something.The intern bumped into something pudgy.
The moment he turned around, he saw Sugar’s muddy face, and through the thick brown sludge, he saw nothing but contempt. That and an evil smile, and her pearly whites shone through the muck. Scarlett backed down as she bear-hugged the attacker, and a crackle of bones filled the air—or at least, all the joints between them. “AAAAH!!!” The intern cried.
“Don’t ‘chu mess with the Flyin’ Hawks!” She shouted. “Or you’re gonna get clipped, bee-yatch!” She slammed her muddy forehead into the intern’s nose, and that turned him limp almost instantly. “Aw, hell.”
She let go of the intern, who flopped to the ground, much to the horror of the other Hawks. Scarlett’s first instincts took over, and she put the knife down before kneeling down to listen to his chest. “He’s unconscious—good work, by the way,” She said to the country girl, who wiped the mud off her face with a grin.
“Well, couldn’t a’ done it without ‘cha. Now, how ‘bout we get this dang thing fixed?” She pointed to their haphazardly-constructed base, which was now haphazardly damaged. As Scarlett and Shawn approached the broken-down tent, however, Sugar looked around and remembered something.“Hey, wait a minute, where’s our big guy? Ain’t he supposed to be back with them big ol’ logs yet?”
Then, as if to answer her question, the ground rumbled rather rhythmically. “Guys!” Rodney shouted. “You guys okay?” He asked as he carried a tree over his shoulder. Some, like Sammy and Topher, eyed him with awe, but Shawn gave him a stink-eyed look.
“Listen, man, we just got ambushed, and if you were here, we probably wouldn’t need to fix our base right now. Like, 90 percent of all of the people who perish in the wild perish because they lacked a decent shelter, and by the looks of it, we’re a part of that 90 percent.” The survivalist pointed at their tent, which was practically a shell of its former self—sticks and twigs were strewn about and all of the leaves that were meant to insulate it were lost to the whirlwind of tennis balls. In fact, there were more tennis balls stuck inside of it than leaves at this point.
“B-but I got the logs! Like you asked!” Rodney said. “We just need to cut it up and put it all together, right?”
Scarlett looked at Rodney intently. The whole time Shawn spoke, he looked her up and down, her eyebrows raised as she realized something. “Rodney. Where is the saw?”
The big guy gasped. “Oh, no!” To which Shawn facepalmed.
“You left the saw?! Seriously, dude? You just—ugh, now we need to find another way to fix this damn thing.” Shawn put a hand on his scruffy chin as he paced around the campsite for inspiration. Beardo got up from the ground and did the same, and before they knew it, everyone scrambled for the nearest tools to see if there was anything they could do. Rodney put down the log and sat down on it as he lamented his mistake, and with that, his inner thoughts were let loose in his first confessional.
“I’m so stupid!” He facepalmed rather forcefully, and the smack left a mark on his forehead. “I got so focused on getting the wood, and I mean, I guess I kinda got frazzled by some of the animals… like you know, there’s this family of moose that were looking at me all weird and stuff, and—” He sighed as he cleared a lump in his throat. “--I’m so dead.”
Despite his depressing confessions, however, his team remained in high gear—specifically Scarlett, who carried the box she scavenged closer to their tent. “There must be something here of use,” She said as she carefully set aside various cookware; a steel pot that held the berries she scavenged, a spatula, a cleaver—which she admired for a bit—a rolling pin, another smaller rolling pin, and then, in her eyes, the jackpot.
“Everyone! I have an idea.” The soft-spoken nerd, for once, had some confidence in her voice. It was enough to have everyone gather around the crate, and when she picked up the item, they all looked at her skeptically. “This may seem somewhat crude, but given the circumstances, the wind speed, the wildlife, and the approaching storm, perhaps the quickest way to insulate and secure our tent would be to wrap the outer layer in cling film.”
She held up a thick, yellow roll of the stuff, and it seemed factory-new. With the cleaver she found, she gingerly sliced it open, pulling the first layer with ease. “Are we in agreement?” She asked as she looked through the cling wrap.
“Hmm, not a bad idea,” Shawn said. “The plastic is waterpoof and an adhesive. If we layer the leaves on top of it, I think it’d be a decent insulator—let’s do it.”
“What he said,” Topher said with a pearly grin.
“Yeah, what he said.” Beardo copied Topher’s voice yet again, and that got a chuckle out of the bunch. The pretty boy squinted at him, but he smiled right after… although, he had to tell someone about what he thought, and since they had a tent to rebuild, he had to save it for a later confessional.
“Listen, folks, I like a talented guy more than the next guy, but Beardo’s sort of… getting under my skin,” He said through gritted teeth. “When I can, I’ll have a good talk with the guy so we can, you know, have a little more synergy. After all, the guy can make any sound, and in my humble opinion, that’s one of the best talents you could have on this island—so I guess casting this guy was a no-brainer. And you know what else is a no-brainer? Getting him into an alliance .”
Indeed, as he said, the first person he assisted in their tent rebuilding project was none other than the voice master himself. “Hey, lemme pull that for you,” He said as Beardo tried to wrap the left side of the wooden tent in cling film. Topher took the roll and walked around the tent as Beardo kept it stretched out, and with a satisfied smile, their tent was a little more insulated than before.
“Yo, thanks,” Beardo said. “If we pull this off, it’ll be the first comeback of the season.”
“Right you are!” Topher said, though he knew just how painfully obvious that statement was. “By the way, was that you who made that bear growl like thirty minutes ago?”
“Uh, yeah, why?”
“Wait, really?” He gasped. “I couldn’t tell! But why’d you do that, exactly?”
“Oh! Well, uh… we kinda ran into the other team, and by other team, I mean Sammy’s sister and that weird sweater guy. She was totally out of pocket, so…” He rubbed the back of his neck. “...I kinda tried something I saw on the internet.”
“A bear call?”
“A mating call.”
Topher snickered. “Oh, man, you really are full of surprises. Hey, speaking of surprises, what was it you brought back from scavenging, again?”
Beardo wondered why he asked that, especially because he already showed it to him. He figured the stress from the ambush made him forget. “Uh, you know, the things from that Revenge of the Island season?”
“Oh, yeah!” He did a little facepalm for effect. “Of course, how could I forget? Y’know, even if we don’t win this season, you could probably bring some of those home—I know a girl who could get those auctioned for an exorbitantly high price, and you’d be surprised how desperate some fans are to get a piece of Total Drama history, you feel me?”
“Huh… I didn’t even think of that, not gonna lie. I’mma keep a close watch on those armbands, then, thanks man.”
“Don’t mention it!” He sent a pearly white grin, first to Beardo, and then straight to the camera. Right after that little strategic move, however, Scarlett cleared her throat.
“Ahem,” She said, and he stepped aside as she wrapped the other half of the tent in cling film. At this point, their tent-bunker appeared like a transluscent dome of sorts, the sticks and twigs arranged in an intricate yet practical structure, thanks to Shawn’s guidance and Sammy’s assistance.
“Alright, the first layer of cling wrap is complete. Now—”
She was cut off by a loud thunderclap. Rain trickled down from the skies, and soon, their shelter would be put to the test. “Everyone, inside!” Shawn said. “W-we’ll just complete it later!”
The Flying Hawks did as they were told, but Scarlett side-eyed him. “But the challenge—”“--Look, I can’t risk any of us getting sick,” Shawn replied, a hand on her yellow sweater. He tugged her into the makeshift tent, and she followed along. She knew she was safe from elimination anyways, and it was not a good idea to be stuck in the rain, especially when medicine was not so easily available, let alone food.
Food. Her eyes widened as she remembered the cooking pot of berries she scavenged. “Wait!” She said, and she darted out of the tent to grab the thing. “The berries!” Scarlett, in her sudden panic, tripped over one of the unconscious interns and fell face-first into the mud, to which Sugar and Shawn gasped.
Rodney, however, was the first to help her up. With one strong pull of his massive hand, she was off the ground, and in his other hand, the steel pot of berries was secured. His huge body shielded her from the rain, and she looked up at him as she wiped the dirt from her glasses. “Thank you,” She said.
“C’mon,” He spoke with a smile. “We gotta get dry.” With those words, all of the Hawks waited in their dome-like tent, huddled up on the dry grass beneath them as the rain came down like it was monsoon season. As Scarlett wiped her glasses with a handkerchief she brought, that confounded her enough that she actually brought it up.
“You know, I find this weather to be… somewhat odd,” She said, her voice fighting with the rain hitting the cling wrap. “The rainfall is not usually this heavy during this time of year… well, here in Ontario, at least.”
“What, you a weather scientist or somethin’?” Sugar asked, arms crossed like her legs.
Scarlett humbly chuckled. “Not quite. I am quite bookish, however, so I did my due diligence and researched the weather of this area to have some sort of idea as to how to survive in this place. However, it seems, all of my hypotheses may be… disproven.” She looked up and saw the water pouring around their plastic shelter, and it reminded her of a horror story she read when she was younger—something about a town trapped under a forcefield—and somehow, her crazy idea, inspired by the story, actually worked.
“Well, all I know is, roughin’ it in the woods is a hell of a thang to do,” Sugar added. “But from what I can see, I think we got this challenge in the clear. Like, look at them little sticks, holdin’ up our tent like their lives dependin’ on it.”
“Yeah! It’s like… cheerleaders making a huge pyramid!” Sammy said, and that got a chuckle out of the team. “I mean, like, I’m on our school’s cheer squad, right, and Amy always says that everyone’s gotta be totally on point whenever we do our formations…” She trailed off as she realized something—she forgot the point she was trying to make. Luckily, she realized another point. “...and, uh… I guess we’re on point, too!”
“ Most of us,” Shawn said so callously, as he gave Rodney a look. It was a good thing there was enough wood to accommodate the giant, but even as he sat down, he hunched over and tried his damndest to not touch any part of the tent, lest it collapse. He tried to give Shawn a look back, but it was no use—he was too ashamed to retort.
“Sorry, guys.” He looked to the grass, dejected. “First thing in the morning, I’ll get that saw back, I swear.”
“You better,” Shawn said. “I don’t wanna have to live in plastic for the rest of this show, and I was seriously looking forward to making a one hundred percent genuine survivalist log cabin! But I guess we’ll have to wait.”
Everyone else grimaced as they heard the vitriol from his lips. Luckily, to break the tension, a loud voice filled their ears, and echoed throughout Pahkitew Island. “Attention all contestants, or should I say, survivors!” Chris said. “The rain’s gonna stop in about five minutes. By then, Chef’s gonna hover over the island via helicopter to check on you guys, and remember! The team with the base that couldn’t withstand the storm, will have to boot someone off. Ciao!”
“Hmm, welp…” Sugar looked around. “...I’d say our tent is right as rain,” She chuckled at her own joke and snorted. Topher grimaced at that, but he maintained the positive vibes in the room.
“I’d say so too,” He added, and then he remembered something. He looked around and saw the Flying Hawks’ team flag laying on the grass. It almost matched the shade of the floor, which is why he forgot about it, but he was not going to let Chris’ instructions slip by him that easily. “By the way, I just remembered… where are we gonna hang this thing?” He asked as he raised the flag.
“Uh, do we have to?” Shawn asked.“Yep! Chris said to hang ‘em up, and that they’re the only ones of their kind, right?” He looked left and right, but it was the slightly muddied Scarlett who joined him.
“Perhaps we should hang it on the sturdiest point of our little dome… which, based on my calculations, would be…” She stood up and looked around their tent, until she finally settled for a spot—the area across the doorway, on the wall. “...there, we wouldn’t even need nails, we could simply hang it along the twigs and allow physics to do the rest.”
Shawn looked to where she looked, and indeed, the twigs he and Sammy set up had little forks in them, remnants of the other branches they snapped off. He took the flag from Topher’s hands, and with the top corners tucked into the twigs, their flag was hung. “Huh, that was easy,” He said. “Now what?”
Scarlett exhaled. “I suppose we wait.”
“Oi, check it out!”
Jasmine’s voice got the Falling Bears’ attention, and they all stood at the balcony of their treehouse, which got them a good view of the helicopter that flew above the treeline. From where they stood, they saw Chef piloting with a joystick, while Chris sat in the passenger’s seat. He spoke into a microphone attached to the headset, which was also attached to the hidden speakers on the island.
“Falling Bears! Looks like you guys are on the right track! Say, where’s your flag at?”
Sky gulped, and Jasmine looked at her funny—it was not a good sign. “Uh, it’s inside!” The olympian hollered.
“Inside?” Chris asked. “Chef, get us a better view, would ya?”
Chef nodded and spoke into his headset. “Kids, get outta the way, and hang on!”
“Wait, what?” Dave’s confusion was answered with a lowered helicopter, which produced a powerful blast of wind, forcing every Falling Bear to hang on for dear life. They all hung onto the railings which Max nailed in, and they squinted and closed their eyes as the wind struck them hard.
“Lower… looower…” Chris said, and he pulled out a pair of binoculars to peer closer into the treehouse. Then, he spotted the flag nailed to the trunk and smiled. “...aha! You guys did pay attention. Good on ya!” He said as he gestured Chef with a thumbs-up. With that, the helicopter lifted upwards as he continued his words. “Now, before we head over to the other side, we just wanna let y’all know; when we’re done checking out the other team, we’ll drop a flare in the middle of the island. Do follow it, ‘cause I’ll have an announcement to make, got it? Good!”With that, the helicopter took off, and the Falling Bears were left with messed-up hairdos and anxieties off their chests. “Right on, mates, we’ve done it!” Jasmine grinned.
“So we won?” Sky asked. “Or am I missing something here?”“Actually,” Max butted in. “As Chris stated, we needed to create something robust enough for the elements. Provided that the enemy team has failed, we should not be concerned.”“Duh,” Amy blurted. “We win because they lose. That’s how, like, all competitions work.”“No shit,” Sky mumbled. Jasmine and Dave eyed her with surprise as Amy turned to face her.“ What was that?”
Before the girl in red could get an answer, however, a flare flew above the treeline. Everyone in the treehouse looked up in awe as Pahkitew Island went red for the few moments it set alight, and when the flare fizzled out into smoke, they snapped out of it. Particularly, Jasmine was the first to take point.
“Right, mates, let’s check it out.” She adjusted her hat and eyed their local wizard. “Oi Leonard, you got a saw?”“I do, indeed.” He smirked and pulled out a little hacksaw, but Jasmine pouted.“Er, got a hand axe?”“Excuse me,” Ella said as she stepped between them. “But may I ask what is it exactly you intend to do with that?” She asked as Leonard handed their leader her tool of choice.“Gotta leave markers,” She said. “Last thing I need is any of us gettin’ lost on the way back, now c’mon.” Her stern, assured voice guided them down the treehouse’s ladder and into the woods—although Dave in particular kept turning his head, like a rich kid passing through skid row.
“Would you like, calm down or something?” Amy kicked a little stone and groaned as Dave anticipated another attack. “If we ever get attacked by animals again, Ella can just sing to them, remember?”“What are you talking about— singing?” Max asked. “That is ludicrous.”Ella frowned, but before she could retort, someone did that for her. “Didn’t you see what she did with the vampire bats?” Sky asked in return.
“I believe I was occupied with falling,” Max admitted, and speaking of being occupied by something, their conversation ended just as they reached the clearing—it was in the middle of the island, and at the center of the little grassland, there stood the hosts’ helicopter, the hosts themselves, and more importantly, the enemy team.
“Aha!” Chris pointed them out. “Right on time. Come here, folks, I have an announcement to make.”As the Falling Bears approached the helicopter, the Flying Hawks eyed them with curiosity; particularly, Topher tried to read them, and he wondered if his prediction was true, that the wizard in green would be the first boot of the season. He saw Dave’s nervous expression, however, and wondered if he truly lacked the guts for reality TV, and perhaps, his initial prediction could be proven wrong. Little did Topher know, however, that someone on his team noticed where his eyes went, and how he occasionally scratched his chin with one finger.
Scarlett smirked. Her thoughts were worthy of a confessional—but they were too presumptuous to act upon, so she skipped the confessional and kept it to herself, for now. After all, Chris had an announcement to make, and it would be inconvenient for the audience to jump from one speech to another, she thought.
“I can’t believe I’m actually saying this, but both teams’ shelters survived that thunderstorm,” Chris said as he walked on the soaked, dewy grass. “And much to my dismay, you’re all safe… for now.”
The announcement brought both teams sighs of relief and smiles on their faces. “Yee-haw!” Sugar cheered. “Thank God he invented cling wrap!”
The other team looked at her funny for a second, but that was of little importance as Chris opened his mouth yet again. “Now, now, hold your horses, people, don’t celebrate just yet—I’m only allowing this ‘cause the producers say it’d be a lot cooler if you guys had more “downtime”, or something. From now on, every time there’s a challenge, which is every other day, we’ll be sending someone home.”
Topher had a feeling; he knew what Chris was going to say next, so he took a stab at it. “And exactly how, Chris, are we being sent home?”
“Glad you asked!” He grinned and had a bit of an evil chuckle. “Chef, deploy the Cannon of Shame!”
Chef nodded, then he looked into the rear of the helicopter. “Boys, deploy the Cannon of Shame!”
Out came the two interns, one bandaged in the face, and the other with an ice pack taped on their scalp, both muddied up and tired as they struggled to pull out the gigantic machine from the other gigantic machine. Chef eventually stopped being lazy and helped the two, all the while Jasmine and her fellow Falling Bears looked on with a mixture of concern, curiosity, and horror. “Blimey,” She said.
“What happened to those guys?” Dave gulped as he eyed the Flying Hawks, and for some reason, Scarlett was the first person he laid eyes upon. Maybe it was the red hair that stood out, or maybe it was the fact that they both dressed up like the academics they were, or maybe Dave fancied this mysterious brainiac, but regardless, it prompted her to speak up.
“They attacked our camp and we retaliated,” She said. “Isn’t that right, Shawn?”
“Yeah, dude, like, it was a whole ambush and everything!” He explained quite enthusiastically. “It’s like, Chris actually sent over those interns to screw us over and tank the challenge, you know?”
“I’m right here,” The host said. “And for the record, I wanted to screw both teams over, but it looks like some people don’t know how to look up.” Those words came out deliberately acidic, and it made the interns’ day a little bit worse. At the very least, they had finished their deployment of this season’s infernal contraption—a giant artillery cannon crudely painted in white and red swirls. The ammunition was in metal crates, and Chef put them down on the ground with a thud.
“Chris, that is literally a Howitzer with an extended and enlarged barrel,” Shawn said, much to Chris’ annoyance. Unfortunately, these words would set off a domino effect of annoying teenagers worrying for their lives. “If my memory serves me correct, they used this thing to kill fighter planes back in the day.”
“F-fighter planes?!” Sammy blurted out, then she covered her mouth.“There is no way that is safe,” Dave added.
“Why not send us back on a boat like in the first season?” Sky protested.“Because it’s not spectacular nor sadistic enough!” Max answered.“How am I even gonna fit in that thing?” Rodney scratched his head.
Soon, all of their words overlapped with each other, and Chris groaned. “Alright, alright! I know, it seems totally sketchy, but it’s the fastest way to the next town over. And the most convenient.”
“Are you bloody mad?!” Jasmine piped up. “Why can’t we just get on the chopper and fuck off?”
“HEY!” Chris barked back. “I don’t care how crass you Aussies are back home, but you’re on my turf now, so watch your language, you got that?! I got ratings and censors to get past! And to answer your question, smart aleck, would you rather trek over 200 kilometers to civilization, or would you rather take a quick flight in the cannon?”
Jasmine wrinkled her nose. She wanted to spit on the ground so bad, but she kept it in her mouth. “I see your point.”
“Good. Now, before we run out of time, and before we end up boring the viewers to death— this is the Cannon of Shame. In two days’ time, whoever’s voted out will be sent straight to the town of Red Lake, where you’ll be chilling, and most likely, regretting not getting the million bucks.”
Already, Dave raised his hand, and Chris groaned again. “Look, it’s a small town in the middle of nowhere, they’ll take care of you just fine. Now… I gotta go,” He said as he eyed his watch. “Got an important legal matter to attend to. You kids have fun now!”Without another word, and without even so much as a wave, Chris boarded the helicopter and strapped himself in. The injured interns followed suit, though, notably, Chef hesitated to get back into the chopper’s hull. He looked back at the teams and gave them a nod of acknowledgement, to which some of them nodded and waved back.
As the chopper’s engine roared back to life, the teams stepped back—the wind was enough to dissuade them from getting any closer. When the machine was in the sky, the Falling Bears and the Flying Hawks looked up and tracked it until it could no longer be tracked. When they were left in that field to their own devices, little did they know that someone looked down on them with a tinge of sympathy.
“You sure they’re gonna be alright down there?” Chef asked as he passed the Bears’ treehouse.
“They’ll be fiiine,” Chris so elegantly answered. “They got more than enough stuff to survive. They just gotta find it.”
“What if they don’t?”
Chris looked him dead in the eyes. “They’re going to find it. I made sure of it. Besides, it’s the best thing I can do considering… well, you know.”
Chef nodded. He knew exactly what he meant—but he knew he could say nothing about it. As such, he did exactly that and said nothing as they flew away from Pahkitew and towards civilization. It was going to be a long flight, and an even longer season.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“So…” Jasmine broke the silence between the two teams. “...what’d

you

guys build?”

“A giant tent wrapped in industrial-strength cling film!” Topher so happily bragged. “And we couldn’t have done it without

Scarlett

here.”

When everyone had their eyes on the soft-spoken nerd, she blushed a little. This was not part of the plan, she thought, and she wanted this to be over as quickly as possible. Shawn ended his little spiel for a completely different reason. “And who exactly
provided you guys with a solid wooden frame?”

“Hey, man, credit where credit’s due,” Topher said as he kept it cool. “Speaking of, what’d

you

guys build?” Such a question had barely anything to do with his last sentence, but it was enough to distract them. Sometimes, things were just that simple, Topher thought.

Of all the responses he predicted, however, he did not expect an insult. In fact,

none

of them did, save for one tracksuit-toting twin. “A

treehouse,”

Amy said. “Ugh, and it is

so

much cooler than some stupid

tent

or whatever. At least

we

get fresh air

and

we get to sleep on something that

isn’t

grass!”

“Oh yeah?! Well, we, uh…” Sammy attempted to retort, but after a pause, something came to mind. “...we found props from Revenge of the Island!”

The Falling Bears gasped, and so did her fellow Hawks. “

Why

did you tell them that?!” Shawn glared at her.

“Because… those geiger counter thingies are

cool!

And

useful,

I guess.” She shrugged, but that was not enough to stifle Shawn’s attitude. Sky, on the other hand, was stoked.

“I mean, there’s no radiation on this island, I think, but that’s sooo freaking cool!” She shouted back. “Do they still work?”

Jasmine rolled her eyes. No

way

they would answer that question, she thought.

“Y-yeah!” Sammy replied, and Shawn nudged her on the arm. “Ow!”

“Wait, they

work?”

Scarlett asked, but her confirmatory question was left hanging as someone else on the enemy team spoke up.

“Well, have fun with your stupid souvenirs, we’re

out!”

Amy shouted rather indignantly. Once more, Jasmine nudged her in the back of the head—though she meant it this time. “Ow! Again with that arm, watch it!”

Jasmine looked over her shoulder and mouthed the word

sorry

as she walked off with her team. Sky turned once and shrugged, compounding to their confusion, and they said nothing as they walked away—it was, indeed, a tense walk back to the treehouse.

The same could not be said for the Flying Hawks, who were all confident save for one tracksuit-toting twin. Though they did not know it yet, Sammy beat herself up over that little slip, and as Topher took control of the conversation, she secretly hoped they would somehow forget about her mistake—but this was not going to happen. It was an inevitability that would occur to her in due time, but for now, she listened to their resident pretty boy as he led the way.

“Can I just say, I am

really

digging Chris’s direction here,” Topher said. “Leaving us in the wild to fend for ourselves

totally

tests our skills

and

gives opportunities for more

drama.

More drama, more views, more fame! It’s

foolproof.”

He spoke like a college lecturer for some reason, and that rubbed some of his fellow Hawks the wrong way.

Shawn scoffed as his eyes tracked the trees—more accurately, he focused on the cuts he made on the bark, courtesy of the cleaver Scarlett scavenged. “Yeah, because

drama

is what we need right now,

totally.”

“How

else

are we gonna get famous?” Sugar walked right behind their local expert, and he rolled his eyes as she spoke. “Ain’t that the point a’ the show?”

“Indeed it is,” Topher said. “The question is, when will it begin? Who’s gonna be the first boot? I have some predictions myself, but I’ll save

that

for later, of course. Wouldn’t wanna jump to conclusions on the first day and all.”

“Right.” Shawn rolled his eyes again, and he almost missed the next mark. Thankfully, his senses were sharper than that. “Since we’re all safe, first thing we’re gonna do is build that log cabin.”

“Uhh,” Sammy raised her voice, for once. “Do we

have

to? Our tent isn’t

that

bad, right, guys?”

Shawn stopped and looked Sammy right in the eye. He had this crazed look that reminded Sammy of those homeless people who gave a bad look when you stepped near their street corner, and the scruffy hair paired with his beanie did not help things. “Do you

want

to live like a homeless person?” He asked, and she shook her head. The image was seared in her mind now.

“Good. So, first order of business—Rodney, you’re coming with me. We gotta find that saw.”

“Y-yeah, sure, man.” Rodney responded. “I don’t wanna sleep on the grass or whatever, gets pretty itchy.”

“How ‘bout food?” Sugar asked. “I’m gettin’ a bit peckish, ain’t gonna lie.”

Shawn smirked. “You ever gone hunting before?”

“I sure have!” Sugar nodded so much her hair jiggled about. “Yup, me and my daddy hunt boar, like, all the time! Gotta keep the livestock protected and stuff.”

“Oh, for sure,” Rodney said. “But back at

my

farm, we got these

coyotes

always stalking our cattle—they’re a real piece of work.”

Sugar snort-laughed. “Ha! Tell me about it.”

“Okay!” Topher grinned. “It’s settled, then—the country peeps are gonna find the saw, hunt some food, and the

rest

of us are gonna spruce up our spot, how’s that?”

Shawn squinted at him as they approached their base. “Look for some water while you’re at it. And you

will

help us build that log cabin, got that?”

“Of course!” Topher snapped his fingers. “Gotta sleep in a place with some

ventilation,

y’know? It’s good for the skin.”

He grumbled at that and carried on—he wanted to find that confessional so bad, but for now, it had to wait. As they agreed, Shawn left the camp with Sugar and Rodney by his side, armed with some stray tools they found—a fire axe, a crowbar, and the cleaver; as it turned out, Sammy’s wandering from the first part of the challenge benefitted them in some way, after all. The twin, along with Scarlett and Topher, arranged all of their items into a corner of the tent for safekeeping.

“So, in total, we have half a roll of cling film, three boxes of screws, an incomplete kitchen knife set, a cast iron frying pan, a spatula, two rolling pins, a stainless steel pot, a crate of… portable geiger counters,” She paused at the props from Revenge of the Island. “And several hacksaws. Yet… nothing to start a fire with.”

“Um, can’t we just do the wood thing again? With the two sticks, you know, rubbing it together?” Sammy asked, and Scarlett shook her head.

“That so-called “wood thing” requires a specific technique which I, unfortunately, am not privy to. If only Shawn’s little campfire actually

survived

the evening breeze… we wouldn’t even need to

think

of such a quandary.”

“Dang it,” Sammy sighed. It was a good thing she wore layers under her tracksuit, she thought, as the cold of the evening crept into their tent. “What’re we gonna do?”

The whole time they spoke, Topher munched on some berries. “We can just wait for Shawn, y’know. Let

him

do all the survivalist stuff, since he seems all high and mighty about it.”

Scarlett turned to him and glared. “What are you—give me those!” She snapped at him and grabbed the berries out of his palm, then tossed them back into the pot.

“Hey! What gives?”

“These berries are for the entire team,” She explained. “And they are for

emergencies.

I thought you were smarter than that, Christopher.”

Sammy inhaled through her teeth. “Oh…” She looked to the boy, who returned the nerd’s words with a scowl. “I’m just gonna… get some fresh air,” She said as she stepped out of the tent. When they were left alone in their translucent dome, Topher lowered his voice at her.

“What are you talking about? And how do you know my real name?”

“First of all, Topher in itself is not a name—it’s an abbreviation. Second of all, I saw how you looked at the enemy team, and I know that look. The look of a man who is strategizing, thinking of the enemy not merely as obstacles, but as puzzles to be solved. Am I correct in my assumptions?”

Topher whistled. “You’re good.

Really

good. No wonder they got you on this show.”

Scarlett smirked. “Thank you. Now that we understand each other, we ought to work on more pressing matters, such as our lack of warmth. At this time of year, the temperatures will drop to unbearably cold levels, unless we find an alternative, that is.”

“Well, didn’t Shawn say something about leaves or whatever?” He asked as he walked out of the tent, and she beamed as she followed him.

“Of course! We could insulate our humble home and maintain the heat with our body warmth.”

Topher gave a smug grin. “Body warmth?”

Scarlett furrowed a brow, then realized what he thought. “

Ambient

body warmth,” She clarified. “

Not

from direct contact.”

He sent two finger guns. “Gotcha.”

“Gotcha!” Jasmine hollered out as she clapped her hands. The smile on her face became a frown, however, as she realized there was blood between her palms. “Eugh, bloody hell, look at the

size

of it!”

Leonard and Sky grimaced too as they saw the corpse of a recently-flattened mosquito caked in the blood of their tall leader. “It’s like, the size of a thumb!” Sky cringed.

“If it were any bigger, we would have mistook it for Amy!” Leonard quipped, and that got the two girls laughing. Jasmine slapped him on the shoulder out of amusement, but it actually stung quite bad. He was just glad she didn’t use the hand with the dead mosquito, so he kept it in as she spoke.

“Dead on, mate,” She said, flicking the mosquito and wiping the blood with a handkerchief. “If she keeps this up, she’ll be off the island for sure, eh?”

“Mhm!” Sky eagerly nodded. “She’s

hardly

a team player.” Those words made her a little relaxed. More time on this island meant more chances to show her skills and character, she thought, and if she wanted to prove herself, she had to outlast everyone else. Outlast, not eliminate, she thought to herself. Now

that

was sportsmanlike.

Soon, Sky would realize that Jasmine thought no such thing. “Let’s vote her off first chance we got, deal?”

“The deal is done,” Leonard said, as Sky silently nodded, slightly less eagerly this time.

“Right! Now, the crates… keep an eye out.”

Indeed, they looked in all directions as they stalked the woods for any sign of what used to be Camp Wawanakwa. As they did, Jasmine thought out loud. “So if Sammy found those radiation thingy-majiggies, we’ll probably find whatever

else

Chris had in storage. I reckon if we look hard enough, we might find some bunk beds—or at least, what’s left of ‘em. Wouldn’t wanna sleep on the floor for the first night, eh?”

“I agree!” Leonard said. “The hard wood shall only bring us restless slumber.”

“Well said—” Sky was interrupted by the loud rustling of bushes, and their heads twitched towards its source; a good twenty meters away from them, they saw Rodney stepping over a group of shrubs.

“Crikey, what’re

they

lookin’ for?”

“Hey!” Sky hollered out, and Jasmine glared at her as she spoke. “What’re you guys looking for?!” To which the Aussie impulsively slapped her back. “Ow!”

“Now why should we tell y’all about that, it ain’t none a’ your business!” Sugar shouted as she climbed over the shrubs.

Sky realized what the slap was for. “Oh…”

“Forget it!” Jasmine shouted back, and she saw Shawn hop over the shrub with great dexterity.

That

got her attention. More importantly, the fire axe in his hand did. Actually, now that she thought about it, all three of them had weapons on them—there was a crowbar over Sugar’s shoulder and a cleaver in Rodney’s overalls, its shape bulging through the denim.

“They’re goin’ hunting, I bet,” Jasmine whispered to the two. As she eyed the enemy team, she continued her explanations. “They’re all geared up and—” She stopped as her eyes caught something, and when she took a second look, she gasped. “SNAKE!” She called out.

She pointed at the ground where Shawn almost tread upon, and the survivalist jumped up. “Ah! Holy crap!” Indeed, Jasmine’s vision was spot-on, and as Shawn landed, the snake lunged itself at him…

…but it was no match for his downward swing. In one move, Shawn slammed the broad side of his axe on the snake’s skull, and it knocked the thing unconscious. When it fell limp on the grass, Sugar hollered. “Woo-wee! We’re eatin’

good

tonight, fellas!”

“Yeah, we just gotta cut off the head first,” Shawn said as he knelt down and studied the snake. His heart sunk when he realized his assumptions were true—it was, indeed, a venomous snake. “Hey, thanks for calling that out, by the way—I would’ve been

toast.

” He looked at Jasmine with a smile, and she sent one back.

“Well, your life is more important than a competition, so don’t mention it,” She replied. “Well, least ya got somethin’ ta’ eat, eh?”

“Y-yeah!” He shakily said. “We, uh… got some protein!”

“Sick. See ya later, then!” Jasmine waved as she walked away with her teammates, and Shawn waved back.

The whole time they spoke, Sugar kept her eyes on Shawn’s face. The country girl knew a thing or two about teenage crushes—so when she saw a tinge of pink on his cheeks, a goofy smile grew on her face. “Ya

like

her, don’t ‘chu?”

Rodney gasped, and Shawn stammered. “W-w-what? No I don’t!”

Sugar kept raising her eyebrows, which, in combination with that goofy, toothy grin, made Shawn’s heart race. “Okay, okay,

fine!

Maybe I do,

kinda.

I mean, just a

little,

okay?

”

“Eeee!” The farm girl squealed. “We done got ourselves a

Romeo!

Let’s hope yer

Juliet

ain’t gonna be first boot,” She said as she nudged him with her crowbar.

“Uh,” Rodney scratched his head. “What’s with the names?”

His teammates’ expressions sunk as they looked up to him. “What?” The two looked at each other with disappointment, which segued perfectly into their respective confessionals.

“So, uh,” Rodney hesitated as he hunched over in his seat. “I’m not really big on romance, like, at

all.

And by that I mean, I’ve never really

thought

about it before, ‘cause I’ve been too dang busy on the farm. But now that Sugar and Shawn are bringing it up, I feel like, a total weirdo! I mean, it’s already bad enough that I don’t know Romeo and Juliet or whatever, but… I think a lot of the girls here are really pretty,” He said with a smile. However, that smile disappeared as he saw the flashing red on the camera lens—a reminder of the tape. “Oh, crap. Should I have said that? Is that okay? Aw, jeez…”

Shawn, too, had some troubles with his feelings. “Dammit! I’m supposed to be

competing

like a total expert here, and I feel like I’m

blowing

it! I mean—sure, I’m doing good

so far,

but if I don’t get my head in the game, I’m gonna be

out

of it! Ugh, I

knew

I should’ve taken up that CIA psychological warfare course—”

He paused and crossed his arms as he noticed the red light. “I won’t elaborate.”

Sugar, on the other hand, was quite eager to do so. “I’ve done this

tons

of times before—y’know, ya can’t make an omelette without breakin’ a few eggs, and in beauty pageants, ya can’t win championships without breakin’ someone’s concentration! Heh,” She snorted. “I’mma let Shawn set us up with the cabin and stuff, and when the time’s right—he’s

out!

But first, I

guess

I gotta play wingman…”

She paused and pondered for a moment, a hand on her chubby chin. “...and if I’mma play wingman, I gotta figure out what she likes.” She shrugged. “I just hope she likes stanky beanie wearin’ boys—I mean, I see the appeal—’cause other than that, I got

nothin’!

For

now,”

She said with a devilish grin.

“I must say,” Leonard mused as he picked berries off the bush. “That Shawn fellow is a most competent warrior, indeed! He would do well as a gladiator, with those cat-like reflexes of his.”

“Cats are actually quicker than snakes, so that sounds about right,” Jasmine said with a smile. “Plus, he’s got that cat energy, y’know, like a scruffy cat in a junkyard who’s all hopped up and jittery. It’s kinda charming.”

Sky chuckled. “Charming? I

guess

you could say that.”

“Eh, what can I say?” The Aussie shrugged. “I got weird taste in men.”

There it was again, Sky thought, that Australian bluntness. It was definitely something she would have to get used to, but at the very least, she thought, communication was not a problem. “Yeah, let’s just…

not

forget that he’s on the enemy team, alright?”

“Yeah, yeah,” She replied somewhat dismissively. She didn’t even look at Sky as she put some edible mushrooms into Leonard’s pockets. “I reckon we’ll merge anyways, so I’m not bothered by it, really.”

Sky’s eyes widened. How bold, she thought. “Good to know,” She mumbled as she clutched a handful of blackberries. “By the way, should we, uh… try hunting some of the animals or something?”

“Well, I

could

set up some traps,” Jasmine said as Leonard’s pockets grew heavier with their foraged food. “But I could probably work on it tomorrow, since there’s no challenge or whatever. You wanna help out?”

“Yes!” Sky nodded, maybe a little too much. “I’m down.”

“Sick! How ‘bout you, Lenny?”

Leonard secured his robe and bowed. “I am at your service.”

“Alrighty, let’s build this damn thang!” Sugar shouted as she tossed half of a log to the ground. Rodney, who held the saw in one hand and a tree trunk in the other, set both of those things down gently while Shawn spotted someone at the fire pit.

“What are you doing?”

Scarlett, who fiddled with one of the armbands from Revenge of the Island, continued her work as she spoke. The device in question was pried open, its motherboard and wires exposed to the elements. “I have been attempting to start a second fire for our comfort, though, admittedly—”

The moment she said that, two wires touched, and the sudden spark of electricity made everyone flinch. When the spark turned into a flame amongst the firewood, however, their anxieties vanished like dust in the wind. Speaking of, the evening breeze fuelled the fire a little more, and the little flame became substantial. “---Well, there it is, I suppose.”

Shawn smiled at that. “Hey, not a bad idea! You short-circuited it, didn’t you?”

“Well, yes, I did. Though, I do think your friction technique is much simpler… technology plays more to my strong suits, needless to say.”

“Alriiight!” Topher interjected as he warmed his hands for a moment. “

Now

we’re in business. So, survival man, how

do

we build a log cabin?”

Topher wished he hadn’t asked that question. For the next several hours, long into the night, they cut down more trees, sawed them all in half, split them further in two, and assembled them like a giant LEGO set. Unfortunately, the wood of Pahkitew Island was heavier and denser than your usual woodland timber, and even the likes of Sugar and Rodney, the strongest of the Flying Hawks, felt their muscles aching after the first thirty minutes—so imagine the pain of everyone else.

“Left, left!” Shawn grunted as he struggled to lift up the final half-log to the top of the left wall. On the other side was Beardo, who was so sweaty that his hands slipped, and he gasped as the log almost fell down.

“Dude, I’m

trying!”

“RODNEY! Where the hell are you?!”

Scarlett, who lied down next to the campfire, sat up and looked around. Sammy, who leaned against a tree, did the same. They were all too tired to speak, but

one

of them had just enough strength to shout.

“Aw, hell!” Sugar groaned as she secured

her

side of the cabin. “Prob’ly went off to

piss

or somethin’! No-good son of a…” She trailed off as she walked up to the two, and as she stood between Beardo and Shawn, the log finally reached the top. “To

hell

with this cabin.” She dusted off her palms and wiped the sweat from her face. “It ain’t even got a roof yet!”

Shawn took off his beanie and wringed the sweat out of it. “We can at

least

assemble the frame.”

“We?” Sugar snorted. “Like

hell

I’m assemblin’ that roof! I’mma get some grub.”

The survivalist sighed. “Topher!” He called out, and he looked to the plastic-wrapped tent. He saw the guy looking into a little pocket mirror as he laid down on the grass, sheltered from the cold wind. “Oh,

come on,

man, what’re you

doing?!”

Topher rolled his eyes and pocketed the thing. “Taking a break,

obviously,”

He said as he crawled out of the tent. “Why?”

Shawn pointed to the pile of planks which they slaved over just an hour ago. “Roofing.

Now.”

“Dude,” He slicked his hair back. “Can’t it

wait?

We all fit in the tent, anyway. Besides, there’s, like, no challenge tomorrow, so… we got

lots

of time.”

“I agree!” Beardo blurted out as he panted for breath.

“Besides,” Sugar walked up to them with skewers of the cut-up snake, which she roasted on the open fire. “Y’all ain’t had dinner yet! Gotta get all nutritional and all,” She said as she took a bite of the roasted reptile. “Mmm! Tastes like chicken.”

Shawn sighed, and he accepted a skewer. “Fine, you got a point.”

Topher gulped, but he accepted it too. “Finally, we’re on the same page—I’m glad.”

The survivalist gave him a death glare, but the pretty boy’s eyes were closed from anticipating his dinner’s exotic flavors. His thoughts would have to wait for the confessional booth, which he was sure to visit later that night. At the very least, the grilled snake in his mouth kept him well-occupied.

“Is that

all

we have? Seriously?” Amy complained. In the middle of the treehouse, the Falling Bears sat around a large pile of food—blackberries, blueberries, strawberries, and the occasional black raspberry, but they were almost indistinguishable from its fruit siblings. What

was

distinguishable, however, was the smaller pile of mushrooms that sat next to it.

“What did you

expect?”

Jasmine crossed her arms.

“I

expected

some protein,” The tracksuit twin huffed. “You know, the thing that we

need

to like,

perform

in the challenges and stuff?”

“Look, I get where you’re coming from, as a fellow athlete,” Sky intervened. “But we gotta make do with what we got, alright? And if you

do

want some protein, no one’s stopping you from, like, hunting some animals or something.”

“Hmph!” Amy popped a blackberry in her mouth. “Fine. Something’s gonna

die

tomorrow and

you guys

are gonna help me kill it.”

Sky sighed, and then she looked around at her teammates. Dave, Ella and Max silently ate their dinner, not wanting to aggravate the situation, while Leonard was occupied with the little book he brought to the island. At first, it seemed things were a little more peaceful, and then she saw Jasmine’s face. Oh boy, she thought.

“Amy?”

“What?” She looked Jasmine right in the eyes.

“Are you

always

such a cunt?”

You could hear a pin drop in that treehouse. Or in their case, a blueberry. “Look, I don’t know what that means ‘cause I’m not from England or whatever—”

“--ENGLAND?!” Jasmine’s voice boomed, and it scared off the birds in the trees around them. “What are you on about, you daft cunt?!”

“See, there it is again! Speak

English!”

Jasmine stood up and grabbed Amy by the hair. Max scampered away, while Ella grabbed the aussie’s arm. “You ignorant

twat…”

The words slipped through gritted teeth. “...I’ll toss you off the bloody balcony!”

In one swift movement, Amy was off the ground, and she flailed around as she shouted at the amazonian aussie. “Ow ow ow! Let me

go,

you bitch!”

“Oh, good heavens!” Leonard gasped. Dave, who sat next to him, bit his nails as they approached the doorway.

“W-wait, please, Jasmine—” Ella tried to stop her, but luckily for them, Sky was quick to react. Before the tall girl stepped out of the treehouse, she gripped Jasmine’s arm with all her might.

“Ow!” Jasmine winced.

“Let go of her!” Sky demanded.

“What

she

said!” Amy added, and with that, the girl in the red tracksuit flopped to the ground. Sky, despite being the shortest of the girls, pulled Jasmine down to her level.

“Jasmine, what is

wrong

with you?” She whispered. “It’s only the

first night!”

“I need some fresh air.” She tried to speak sternly, but Sky saw some shakiness in her face. That made her loosen her grip, and Jasmine pulled away from her.

“Jasmine, wait!” She followed her out of the treehouse, but before she could grab hold of her, she climbed down the ladder as fast as she could.

“J–just leave me alone!”

Those words echoed throughout the treeline, and Sky stood there and watched in silence as Jasmine ran away. She put a hand on her head and leaned against the railing, and after a few seconds, she was out of sight.

“What’s

her

problem?” Amy asked from within the house. Max, who watched the whole thing unfold, kept his gaze on the bitchy blonde.

“Ignorance.”

“Ugh,” She turned to him. “That’s so true!”

Max blinked once, then went back to dinner. Her clothes, indeed, matched her IQ—red as a brick.

“Who the hell does he

think

he is, telling

me

that we should wait out the night to build our

obviously

functional and

improved

shelter? Oh yeah, ‘cause this guy is

totally

the expert on wilderness survival—that guy wouldn’t last a

day

in the apocalypse! He’s probably gonna try to live in a freaking luxury mall or something, like in those old zombie movies, which by the way,

THEY ALWAYS DIE IN THE END!”

That was only a fraction of Shawn’s rant against Topher, as the rest of it was too incoherent, like a crazed man at a street corner raving about every little thing that pissed him off. He took some deep breaths and composed himself, and though his heart raced, and his blood boiled, his senses were sharper than ever. Maybe the injection of protein in a survival situation made him extra jittery and jumpy, but there was something that snapped him out of it; the sound of sniffles.

“What the hell?” He muttered under his breath. When he opened the outhouse door, a tall figure towered over him…

…but she was not imposing at all. She wiped her eyes and sniffled as she, too, regained her composure. “S-shawn! Oh, gosh, I didn’t know you were—”

“N-no, no! It’s okay, uh… I mean, you can go ahead, if you want.”

She sniffled again. “I…”

As she paused, she felt the tears welling up in her eyes. They had to come out eventually, and for the first time in the competition, Jasmine took a gamble. After all, no one else was around, and she doubted anyone from her team followed her trail. It was one thing to confess to a camera, but to confess to someone who could listen to her? That was much better, she thought.

“...I fucked it, Shawn. I fucked up.”

“Wait, what? Oh gosh, what happened?” His eyes looked around, and he saw a downed log not too far from where they stood—which was weird, because he noticed it only

now—

but it was a convenient thing to have. “C-c’mon, take a seat. Here.” He guided her to the log, and the two were eye-to-eye for the first time. She whimpered, and her lip trembled as she tried to keep it in, and Shawn’s hand shook out of pure anxiety—now he

really

wished he had taken that psychological training course.

“T-thank you,” Jasmine said as she wiped her tears. “I just… I got angry at Amy and I… I pulled her up by the hair, and I scared everyone else and…”

She slammed a fist down on the log, and it shook a little. “...Now everyone’s scared of me! F-fuckin’ hell, it’s happening all over again, isn’t it?”

That made him raise an eyebrow. He’d know what that meant in due time, he thought. “Jazz—wait, can I call you that?”

She nodded.

“Okay, look, Jazz, Amy pissed you off, you blew your top, s-so what? You can always apologize and—”

“---But I

hate

her!” Jasmine looked right into his eyes, and her tears were filled with rage. “She’s snobby, she’s self-righteous, and a bloody moron! The

last

thing I wanna do is see her stupid fuckin’ face, alright?!”

Her shouting made Shawn scoot away from her, just a little bit, but Jasmine had eyes like a hawk. “Oh, gosh… I’m sorry, I—”

Shawn realized it as she frowned. “--Jasmine, listen to me, you need some

space,

okay? These feelings are… uh, like the weather, y’know? You just… you

have

to wait it out.” The more he spoke, the more confidence he gained. “Like, that Topher guy? I hate his stupid guts, too—I mean, the guy’s bossing us around like he thinks he knows everything—so I came out here and ranted in the confessional. After all that time, I feel a lot better, so…”

As he paused for a bit, the survivalists looked each other in the eyes once more. This time, for much longer. “...you wanna rant about Amy?”

Jasmine smiled and sniffled once more. “I do.”

“Well…” He gestured to the grass before them. “...the stage is all yours.”

Jasmine sniffled one last time and took a deep breath. No better time to get mad, she thought. “Where do I even begin? All she ever does is

complain.

She whines about things being

inconvenient

in a bloody survival show! I mean, yeah, it’s Total Drama, but it’s the

survival

season, what else did she expect? Fuckin’ moron—she even called me English! Could you believe it?!”

Shawn held his tongue and shook his head. The truth was, he

could

believe it—he had no conception of the subtleties between the Commonwealth accents—but he would have a crash course soon enough.

“That right cunt!” She slammed a fist on her palm. “And speaking of, when I called her a fuckin’ cunt, she told me to speak

English!

Bloody hell, is it

really

that hard to tell that I’m an Aussie?”

“Nah,” Shawn said as he rolled with it. Adaptability is a survival skill, after all. “She’s just friggin’

dumb.”

“Exactly!” She stomped on the grass. “I mean, I’ve met people dimmer than a cave, right, but they’ve got the

sense

to know who’s an Aussie and who isn’t. Amy? Well, she’s got

no

sense. Not a drop of intelligence in her, as far as I’m concerned.”

With that last line, it seemed her voice lowered back to normal. Shawn let out a sigh of relief, which made her do the same. “Well, you never know,” He suggested. “Maybe you can make

something

out of her, right? I mean, like, all the things you take for granted at home? They can

definitely

be an asset in a survival situation. Like the cling wrap on our tent!”

Jasmine gasped. “You’re right!” Then, out of nowhere, she leaned down and embraced him tight—perhaps a little too tight. “Ah, she may be dumb as a rock, but she’s still my teammate… heh, it’s like what Sky said, gotta make do with what we got, eh?”

Shawn hesitantly returned the hug, and not knowing what to do, patted her on the back. He didn’t see it, but she blushed. “Spoken like a

real

outdoorsman—I mean woman—wait, is

outdoorswoman

even a word?”

It got a little laugh out of her, and that warmed him up. Seriously, her body heat was substantial, considering the emotional rollercoaster she had just completed. He didn’t mind, though—it felt nice to be hugged. He had forgotten what it felt like, and it was a kind reminder.

“It’s a mouthful, mate,” She said with a smile. “But whatever. Thanks, Shawn. You’re a big help.”

“D-don’t mention it, hehe.” He so nervously chuckled as they broke out of the hug. He wished it lasted a little longer, but now that he saw the moon in the sky, he realized they had been there for some time. “Well… I’m glad I could help out a fellow outdoors…

person.”

She giggled, which made him blush. “Survivalist is better, I think.”

“Oh!” He slapped his forehead and chuckled. “Of course! How could I forget—it’s our

lifestyle,

after all.”

“Mhm, sure is, mate.”

For a moment, they stood there in silence, unsure of what to say—though that brought not an ounce of discomfort, somehow. Jasmine thought it was a sign.

“Ah, well, it’s been nice talking to you, Jazz, but I gotta go. Being kinda late and all…” He pointed up, and she saw how high the moon was.

“Oh, bli-mey! You’re right… I gotta head back, too. Gotta, erm…

apologize

to Amy or whatever.”

“Good luck with that,” He said as he turned away, but he turned back as he remembered something else. “A-and good luck with the next challenge!”

Jasmine sent back another smile. “Likewise, mate! G’night!”

“Night, Jazz!”

As Shawn followed the trail back to the Flying Hawks’ camp, he had a skip in his step. He could not believe what just happened, and he could

not

wait to tell Sugar, whenever he had the chance, that is. There was no way he could spill it while everyone else was there—much like the government, he thought, there was always someone listening.

“I’m

so

not listening to you right now,” Amy said as she saw Jasmine at the doorway of their treehouse. She turned away and scarfed down a mushroom cap, and next to her, Ella put a hand on her shoulder.

“Now now, Amy, she’s here to

apologize

, right Jasmine?” She looked to the survivalist, who took off her hat as she nodded.

“Yes,” She said. “I… I’m sorry for totally losing it. I just… I dunno what

got

to me.” She approached the two as the other Falling Bears watched from the sidelines. “It’s not gonna happen again. If we’ve got

any

shot at winning, I can’t lose my cool like that. It’s just… it’s not smart.”

Amy slowly turned around. “Yes, that

was

really stupid. And

totally

unbecoming of a team leader,” She said. Jasmine was surprised she

knew

words that big. “Although, I gotta say…” Her eyes drifted to Ella, who nodded her head to prompt her. “...I’m sorry, too,” She said with a tinge of anger. “I didn’t

know

you were Australian, okay? I never

met

one before.”

“Well, here I am, I guess.” Jasmine shrugged.

“Yeah,” Amy replied, but Ella nudged her silently. “And… and thank you for gathering our dinner. Sorry I said it wasn’t enough or whatever. It’s just… I’m kinda, like,

getting used

to this whole sitch.”

Jasmine nodded. “Right. So we’re all good?”

“

For now,”

Amy said.

“Yay!” Ella clapped her hands. “And now, we can

all

have a wonderful, restful sleep in our own little treehouse!”

“Yeah. Sleeping on the

floor

is totally gonna be restful,” Amy said, and Jasmine almost raised another hand to slap her with, but she held back. Now, it was Ella’s turn to let loose a little.

“Now,

what

did I tell you about being grateful, hm?” She looked into Amy’s eyes, and that freaked her out a little.

The eye contact itself didn’t freak her out—she looked at a lot of people in her time—but it was like Ella was hiding something, something different. She couldn’t put a finger on it, but it definitely reminded her of her sister. It was enough to keep her in line.

“S-sorry. Again,” She said as she sighed nervously. “But we

definitely,

like, need some beds or something, like, at some point. It’s gonna get pretty cold, I think.”

Jasmine smirked. Maybe she

wasn’t

as dumb as she thought. “Guess that’s our next task, eh?” She turned to the Falling Bears, and they all let out scattered affirmations.

“If I may,” Max raised his voice, for once. “A lantern or a torch of some sort would be nice, too—I must admit, with how dim this night has been, my eyes have had some trouble adjusting.”

“Right, added to my list,” She pointed to her head. “Well, on that note, I’m off to bed.” She walked out of the treehouse, however, and Dave was the first to speak up about it.

“Wait, where are you going?”

“Erm… I’m sleeping on the roof.”

“But won’t it be cold?” Sky asked. “It’s already pretty chilly in here.”

“I can manage—I

like

the breeze,” She said as her heart raced a little. “Besides, I make noise in my sleep, at least according to my mum.”

“Fair enough.” Dave shrugged.

“G’night, mates.” Jasmine walked out and hopped up above the treehouse, and the Falling Bears were left amongst themselves once more.

“I suppose she is

truly

one with nature,” Leonard mused. “To sleep amongst the whistling wind of the trees, to have a sacred trust with the earth… I am glad to have her on our team.”

“Me too.” Sky sat down against the tree trunk. “I’m just glad no one went home today. That, and we got this kick-ass treehouse, so I’d call this day a success.” She yawned as she put her hands behind her head.

“I’d say so myself,” Max added. “Day one, and we

already

have a lair of our own! Truly, Chris spared no expense in acquiring the

best

of the

best,

indeed!” He said as he turned to Leonard. “And

despite

some differences… well, our collaboration overcomes them, wouldn’t you think?”

“Well said!” The wizard clapped once.

“That is

very

sweet of you, Max.” Ella clapped a little more.

“Ach,

please.

It is only the

professional

way of going about these things.” He smirked as he walked off. “Now, I am off to bed. Ciao!”

His retirement from the day was like a domino effect; everyone else did the same, and they all found a place to lay their heads…

…except for Jasmine, who listened in on their conversation. She was just getting comfortable under the stars as she heard Leonard and Max’s words, and she

knew

they were good for the team.

She did not look forward to their eliminations. That was a concern for another day, she thought, and she listened to the rustling leaves as she dozed off. For now, things seemed good, save for the girl in red, so she might as well savor the moment—or rather, these little moments of respite.

They would not come so often.

PAHKITEW ISLAND INITIATIVE

[LIST OF SUBJECTS]

FLYING HAWKS: BEARDO, RODNEY, SCARLETT, SAMMY, SHAWN, SUGAR, TOPHER

FALLING BEARS: AMY, DAVE, ELLA, JASMINE, LEONARD, MAX, SKY

ELIMINATIONS: NONE

[STATUS UPDATE]

ACCLIMATION COMPLETED. INITIATE PREDATOR DIRECTIVE.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“Likewise, mate! G’night!”

“Night, Jazz!”

When Jasmine walked away, Rodney peeked over the bush. His beady little eyes followed Shawn as he pranced over the grass, almost like a deer in spring, he thought, but that opinion hardly mattered in comparison to the exchange he just witnessed. He kept his breath steady and silent as Shawn passed him by, and luckily for him, he was so elated that he somehow missed the giant boy sticking out of a tiny shrub. Peripheral vision be damned, Rodney slipped by.

He sighed, and he swore he saw some mist escape his mouth. Was it

actually

that cold? He couldn’t tell—he was so used to the winter weather that his body was always warmed up, anyways, and his blood pumped so much that he was like a walking radiator. His chest matched the shape, too, and as that thought entered, he gave himself a sensible chuckle. Though there was no one around, he still tread lightly, and all he could hear was the whistling of the wind and the calls of the owls around the island.

Rodney sighed as he neared the outhouse. “Kinda like home,” He muttered to himself. He sighed again as he saw the inside of the infamous confessional, which had seen many rear-ends in its lifetime, and even more drama. He couldn’t believe it—he was quite literally walking into history. Pop-culture history, technically, but that was all the same to him. Even in the sticks, Total Drama was worshipped as peak primetime TV.

As he sat in the outhouse and closed the door, he took a deep breath, which he instantly regretted. He hacked and coughed a little, and after he cleared his throat, only then could he make his thoughts clear.

“Okay, so… I bet you guys saw that. It was, like, the

first

romantic thing that happened on the island, as far as I know. And, like, I

know

I’m not a big romantical guy or whatever, but…”

He let out a high-pitched squeal. Thank God no one heard that, except for the millions of viewers around the world. “...They’re totally

perfect

for each other! Screw Romeo and Juliet, or whatever Sugar said—I

know

what I gotta do. I gotta look out for Shawn, and they

gotta

get together!” His face was pink as he expressed his zeal. “Oh, gosh, I don’t think I’ve ever

felt

this before, like… I feel so…

lovey-dovey?

Is that the right word? Hehe.” He chuckled nervously.

“You know what, I don’t even

care!

I’m just…

so happy

for Shawn. And Jasmine, too, but she’s on the other team, so maybe I’m a little

less

happy… ah, screw it! Congrats, guys! And just know, I got your back!”

He let out a big sigh, and he finally caught his breath. “Okay, I should

probably

say that to Shawn, actually,” He said, rubbing the back of his head. “I mean, like, if he’s not busy, that is.”

The truth was, he

was

busy… sleeping. It turned out their activities had totally sapped them of energy, and the construction of their cabin had pushed them to exhaustion. When Rodney came back to the camp, he saw them lying on the soft grass through the frame of their translucent dome. It didn’t sit right with him that their shelter was incomplete—not the cabin, of course—and so he remembered what Shawn initially told them to do; to cover the tent in leaves.

He looked to the side and saw a pile of leaves held down by a pile of tennis balls. He picked one up and sighed.

“It won’t happen again.”

The next morning, Sugar felt her stomach rumble. At first, she thought she had to get some gas out of her system, but it hit her—she hadn’t eaten since they ate that big ol’ snake. For a moment, she was distracted by the hunger, but she realized something; the tent was darker than usual. Through the cling film, she saw layers of green and brown leaves covering up their base, though there were little gaps every now and then, like itty bitty windows, she thought.

That was a nice touch. She looked at Rodney, and the big hunk of a man slept like the logs he carried so effortlessly, and she smiled. The farm girl had an idea who could have added this nice little roof, since they lost track of him right before they hit the hay.

Hay. That reminded her of the time she actually tried to eat some hay—her mom still makes fun of her for that, but she was only five, and she was

starving—

so she didn’t get what all the fuss was about. If ponies could eat it, why couldn’t

she?

It was a question that rang in her mind as she stepped out of the tent and into their campground, where the air was crisp and cold.

“Ooh, dang,” She hugged herself for some extra warmth. “That insulation ain’t no joke,” She mumbled as she eyed the tent. When her stomach rumbled again, her mind was focused once more. She walked around and saw a pot next to the campfire, which was now extinguished. She raised a brow, however, when she realized that there was still some warmth, and even a little smoke from the ashes.

“Hang on a minute,” She mumbled as she realized something—if they extinguished the fire before they slept, how was the wood still smoking? She walked back to the tent and peeked in, and her eyes followed each and every one of her slumbering teammates…

…except for one.

“Huh,” She scratched her head as she walked back to the fireplace. “Where’d he skedaddle off to?”

She looked around in hopes for any signs, and as she focused on the trees, she found one. There was a clean cut that exposed the white wood under the dark bark, and it was on a tree that was previously untouched. “Gotcha.”

Shawn looked through the woods—particularly, his eyes pierced through a gap in a fallen log, which had already succumbed to the fungi and moss. With his body crouched low to the ground, he kept his gaze on his target; an unassuming deer. It was not the first time he found himself in such a situation, and he kept his breath steady as the meek little animal munched on some grass. Normally, he thought, he would have a gun in his hands—his father’s hunting rifle, specifically—but this was Pahkitew Island, and there were no luxuries here, as far as he knew. He had to be silent, and he

had

to strike quickly.

He remembered reviewing the Flying Hawks’ stash of loot, and he was pleased. The incomplete knife set alone was more than enough for a cookout, among other things, though none of them were worthy for the task. He had tossed knives to the trees while the others were asleep, and most of them dinked off the hard bark, while others barely grazed it. Indeed, they were not built for throwing. There was only one option left; the radical choice, the impractical yet completely plausible, given the proper training—which Shawn had—it could certainly kill.

Shawn exhaled deeply, but not too deep. He didn’t want to scare the deer. He picked up the fire axe from the grass, and it rustled a bit. That little sound alerted the animal, who looked up from the ground as its ears twitched. He wanted to gasp, but he stopped himself, his lungs frozen in place until the deer let its guard down and grazed on the grass.

Silence. This is the key to a good hunt, Shawn thought, echoing the words of his father. He stood up and clutched the axe tightly, and he leaned back with the axe over his head. Soon, its blade hung over his shoulders, and as he winded up the weapon, his arms aching, he exhaled one last time.

Perfect, he thought.

“There you are!”

The familiar voice spooked the deer, and it spooked the hunter, too, as Shawn jumped up and dropped the axe. “Jesus! Sugar, what is

wrong

with you? I totally had that!”

Only

then

did Sugar see his prey. Unfortunately for them, it was far into the treeline. “Ohh. Crap,” She said as it galloped away. “Sorry ‘bout that, I just couldn’t help but wonder where ya ran off to.”

Shawn sighed. “That’s fair, I guess,” He said as he sheepishly picked up his weapon. “But next time, try to be a tad

sneakier.”

“Gotcha,” She nodded. “By the way, ya got any grub? Someone done finished the berries while we were sleepin’.”

He put a hand on his face and groaned. “Rodney,” He shook his head. “He was the last one awake, I think, but never mind that. We might as well forage something while we’re out here.”

“Eyup, lead the way, nature boy.”

As they walked, Pahkitew Island came to life; the birds chirped their morning songs, squirrels and chipmunks crawled out of their little tree-holes, distant deer trotted and grazed on the grass, and the sun shone through the treeline, pillars of sunshine peeking through the leaves.

“Well, ain’t

this

a nice place to be?” Sugar asked as she plucked some blackberries from a bush. “Kinda reminds me a’ them nature hikes back in Lloydminster, ‘cept I’d be havin’ a bag a’ chips in my hand, of course.”

Shawn rolled his eyes. Wasn’t hiking an exercise, and not a leisurely stroll? “What kind of trail do you even

have

back there?”

“Aw, well, it ain’t much, ‘cause Lloydminster is flatter than a stepped-on pancake, but it’s a pretty long walk. Prob’ly takes us about an hour to finish it, I think.”

“An hour?

My

hikes take

six!”

Sugar gasped. “Six

hours?

Don’t ‘chu have anything

better

to do instead a’ walkin’ in the woods?”

“I

don’t

walk in the woods,” He retorted as he pocketed some raspberries. “I climb

mountains. That’s

where I hike.”

Sugar whistled. “Well, I’ll be. Hey, maybe when this is all done n’ dusted, maybe you and Jasmine could climb together or somethin’, y’know, reach the top, all alone, gettin’ all

romantical

and stuff…?”

The teasing made Shawn’s heart race. She sure knew how to play with him, she thought, as the survivalist gave a wide grin. “Oh, that’d be, like,

so cool!”

He interrupted himself as he remembered something else—what happened last night. “Oh! And, uh, actually, I almost completely forgot, but I’ve been trying to like, wait for the perfect time to tell you…” His words were a lot more frantic, and Sugar maintained a smug face as he took a breath. “...I ran into Jasmine last night.”

She gasped again, and this time she covered her mouth. “No freakin’

way!

What’d ya

do?”

“Oh, well—hehe,” He chuckled as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, I just finished a confessional, right, ‘cause I was still pretty peeved about Topher and his…

lack of contributions,”

He said through his teeth. “But anyways, I finished the rant, and the

moment

I get out of the outhouse, who do I see? Jasmine.

Crying.”

“What

for?”

“Turns out, she got really mad at Amy—you know, Sammy’s sister—’cause she

totally

ticked her off. Like, she was ungrateful for the food they found

and

she called Jasmine

British.

British! I mean, that’s

so

stupid!”

“Uhh…” Sugar paused. She thought Jasmine was British, too. “...yeah! Who the hell does she think she is?”

“I know, right? Anyways, I had to calm her down, and instead of her ranting in the confessional—like, I couldn’t just

leave

her, right? So I had her confess to

me.

And… I helped her feel better again. And

then,

she hugged me!”

“Awww!” She clasped her hands together, which unintentionally squashed some berries. “Did ya

kiss

her?”

“Kiss?!” His face turned red. “Oh, no, not at all! But now that you mention it… okay, maybe I

do

wanna kiss her.”

She gave him that smug, cutesy look once more, and she raised her eyebrows rapidly. “

Maybe?”

“O-okay, I

really

wanna kiss her, alright? She’s just so friggin’

cute!”

He covered his mouth with his hands as he exclaimed that, and Sugar rested her forearm on his shoulder.

“Boy, you’re got-dang

lovestruck.”

She smiled. “And you know what? As long as you ain’t distracted or whatever durin’ the challenges, that’ll be

just fine.”

“Y-yeah,” He replied shakily. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Attention all contestants!”

Sugar and Shawn jumped up, and he almost dropped the axe again. “Jesus! Where is that

coming

from?!” The survivalist asked, but his question fell on deaf ears as Chris continued his speech.

“Everyone, look up. You’ll see the red flare in about ten seconds, and when you

do

get a good look at it, head over there

immediately.

You do

not

wanna be late for today’s challenge. Chop chop, people!”

“Aw, hell! He friggin’

lied

to us!” Sugar stomped her foot, and she remembered the crushed berries on her palms, and she licked them clean without a second thought.

“Welp, least I got my

breakfast

done.”

Shawn grimaced. “Yeah.”

Meanwhile, back at the tent, the other Flying Hawks were rudely awakened by the announcement. “Ha! Classic Chris,” Topher laughed to himself. “Always a step ahead, right guys?”

“He

lied

to us,” Sammy said spitefully.

“Exactly! This is Total Drama, y’know—

always

gotta be on your toes. And by the way, what’s with the roof job?” He asked as his eyes adjusted to their surroundings, and only then did the rest of them notice the leaves above the plastic wrap.

“Oh,” Rodney spoke up. “Just a lil’ project I did last night. Didn’t want us to, like, get blasted by the sunlight or whatever. I

hate

it when the light shines through the window and hits my face.”

“Ditto,” Beardo said. “Totally ruins the vibe.”

“And your skin!” Sammy added, and everyone eyed her weirdly. “No, seriously, it’s not good for you. Sunlight

totally

ages your skin!”

“Well!” Topher beamed, and he put a hand on Rodney’s shoulder. “Good work, big guy, you singlehandedly saved our

photogenic

looks.” To which the farm boy shrugged and smiled proudly.

“Don’t mention it.”

“I thought you said there wasn’t a

challenge

today, Chris!” Amy shouted as the Falling Bears walked onto Pahkitew Beach. “What gives?”

“C’mon,” The host chuckled. “Don’t you guys know me by now?” He asked as he eyed the Bears, who all looked dishevelled from their interrupted slumber. “I got a million bucks on the line, and with

that

much money, I’m not gonna make it easy for ya’ll. In fact,” He paused as he stepped aside, revealing a massive wooden obstacle course atop the sand. Since it was built on the edge of the shore, parts of it were already getting soaked in water. “I’m gonna make this

really hard.

I call this one,

Bring Home The Bacon.”

Then, seemingly on cue, an intern appeared at the end of the obstacle course with a pig in tow. It was a plump, rotund specimen who seemed somewhat confused as to what was going on, and the intern applied some kind of slick substance around it, which calmed it down a little.

“Aww!” Ella squealed. “He’s adorable!”

“She’s

adorable,” Sugar corrected. “I mean, see right there? She got them

nipples.”

She pointed to its abdomen, but the way she said it made some of the contestants cackle. Ella, however, just nodded in understanding.

Chris wasn’t so amused. “Anyway!” He interrupted. “As you can see, Miss Piggy is at the end of this long, winding, painful, and soul-crushing obstacle course.” As he spoke, the contestants eyed it intently.

“As you can see, it’s split into two halves, one for each team, and exactly seven sections—one for each team member, so you folks should start thinking about which parts you wanna do,” He said as he strolled on the sand. “At the end of your section, high-five your teammate so they can begin

theirs.

Speaking of which, lemme lay it down for ya,” He said as he cleared his throat and stepped to the front of the course.

“First, using the rope, you gotta reach the top of that twenty-foot wall. After that, you hop on the zip-line and go

over

the salty waters, right towards those

itsy-bitsy

raised platforms. After a little parkour and finesse, you gotta use your brain for the

pipe maze—”

To which Jasmine’s face sunk, but he continued on as no one noticed. “---And once you’ve solved it, you gotta crawl like a pig in the dirt—in this case, the wet sand—under the low-hanging barbed wire cage. Once you’re out, you got the balance beam, and

yes,

that

is

a series of two-by-four planks attached to one another, so you’ll need to keep up that

finesse,

and right after that, you got your standard

road of discarded tires,

and at the end of it, well… there’s Miss Piggy.”

The pig let out a little snort. “And whoever brings Miss Piggy back to me wins their team immunity… and a

special

prize.”

“Ooh, a surprise?” Topher grinned. “Call me a gas station Chris, ‘cause I’m totally

pumped!”

Chris actually chuckled at that. “Good one, kid. Now, before I let you folks strategize, I’m surprise you haven’t noticed it yet.”

The Hawks and the Bears looked to each other, and Scarlett spoke up first. “Noticed what, exactly?”

“The whole course is covered in grease!” Chris announced. “

Bacon

grease,” He said as he gestured to the pig, who was still being rubbed in that same slick substance. The implications left the contestants all shook up.

“T-that’s so

mean!

And—and so—” Sammy struggled to finish her sentence.

“---So

messed up!”

Amy continued. The thoughts didn’t stop there, as some of them continued in the confessional later that day.

“Okay,” Dave sighed. “I

knew

Total Drama was messed up, so I’m

kinda

not surprised, but… oh, God, that poor pig.”

“Now, look, I’m all

for

eatin’ animals, ‘specially pigs and what not,” Sugar admitted. “But lemme tell ya, while they’re on God’s green earth, you

better

give ‘em a good life, ‘cause they don’t know better, like my cousin Eddie! I mean, he ain’t a pig or nothin’, but the fella can’t read. Ain’t

his

fault his momma dropped him on his head.”

“Pigs are more intelligent than one may assume,” Scarlett said. “However, I doubt it would be able to discern that it wears the fat of its contemporaries! Ech, that challenge was utterly degrading, both for

us,

and for the pig as well. Although, in all honesty, pigs are omnivores, and they are not exactly averse to cannibalism…”

She paused as she realized what she said. “...End of statement.”

“I call dibs on the zip line,” Sky said as the Bears huddled in a circle. “Even though it’s gonna get greasy, I think my grip

should

power through it, hopefully.”

Jasmine nodded. “Sounds good. On that note, dibs on the wall climb.”

“I’ll go wherever Samey goes,” Amy interjected. “If there’s anyone who can beat her, it’s

me.

Like, she’s basically

me,

but without a spine. Totally invertable

.”

“Ouch.” Dave grimaced. Not even private school could save this girl, he thought. “I think you mean—” He stopped himself as Amy gave him a death glare, and he gulped. “Never mind. Can I do the tire thing?”

Surprisingly, the shortest of them spoke up rather loudly. “Absolutely not!” Max retorted. “Clearly, the person at the

end

of the course is also in charge of securing the pig. And

you,

sir, are

least

qualified to handle the greased-up swine.”

“Oh…” He gulped. “...you have a point.”

“You

are,

however, the scrawniest of us all, therefore, to the barbed-wire crawl you go.”

“What?!” Dave gasped. “But what if I get cut? And the sand, the wet sand, it’s gonna get all over my clothes and—”

“Oi!” Jasmine smacked him on the shoulder. She pointed an authoritative finger down at him as she spoke. “You’re

not

gonna get cut, and when this is all over, you can wash up in the water, got it?”

Her words were like thunder on a clear day—they made everyone alert, especially Dave. “Y-yes, ma’am!”

Meanwhile, not too far from where the Bears stood, Shawn spoke to the Hawks with a voice equally as strong. Though it was not a life-or-death situation, the survivalist found himself taking the reins of his team as Chris’ words resonated in his mind;

everything is on the line.

“Alright guys, listen up! I’m taking the wall climb,” He prefaced as he spoke frantically. “Sugar, you do the sand crawl, Scarlett, you’re in charge of the pipe maze, Rodney, you’re on tire duty, Sammy, you can do those platform jumps, and

you…”

He looked at Beardo and paused.

“...Uh, I’m not good at balancing, so… zipline?” The beatboxer nervously asked, and Shawn nodded.

“So that leaves

you

with the balance beam. Think you can handle that?” He asked Topher, who was too busy fixing his hair.

“Sure can,” He said with that same old smugness. “Balancing’s one of my talents, y’know. Not to mention, after my time on the cheer squad, I’d say I’m

pretty good

.”

Sammy gasped. “

You’re

a cheerleader too?!” She bounced from all the excitement. “That’s so cool! Oh my gosh, are you a flyer?” To which the preppy boy sent back a genuine smile.

“Damn right I am! How about you?”

She blushed as she composed herself. His gaze and his smile completely disarmed her, as intended. “Who, me? Uh, I’m a—”

Then, a loud voice filled the air. “---Alright, people!” Chris shouted. “Challenge time!”

Topher took a deep breath. “Y’know what? Hold that thought, ‘cause we’re gonna

kill

it, people!”

The Hawks resounded with

yeah’s

and triumphant shouts, save for two; the bespectacled Scarlett and the shrewd Shawn. Though they said nothing to each other in that moment, their minds were in the same place; they did not want to jump to conclusions.

As both teams walked up to their spots, some of them struggled to keep their balance; sea water and bacon grease did not mix. Thankfully, the sand they had tread upon stuck to their soles, and that gave them a bit more grip than usual. The first person to notice this, surprisingly, was Max.

He knelt down next to the pipe maze and scooped a handful of sand. He kept some in his pocket, and he rubbed his hands with it, much like how gymnasts chalked their palms, and he suppressed an evil laugh.

Scarlett caught that. She crossed her arms as she waited for the host’s voice.

Meanwhile, Jasmine and Shawn lined up at the start, and they both gripped the grease-soaked rope to the best of their abilities. Even before Chris said anything, they both had a foot pressed against the wall, and it was clear these two were experienced climbers.

“Hey,” Shawn said. He blushed as they locked eyes. “Good luck, Jazz.”

That got a giggle out of her. “You too, mate.”

“Alllright! Enough chit-chat!” Chris shouted to the two. “The challenge starts in…

three, two, one…”

An airhorn blasted out of a pressurized can. Where the hell did Chris pull

that

out of, Shawn thought, but that thought vanished as quickly as Chris spoke. “...

BRING HOME THAT BACON!”

Immediately, the survivalists hopped off the ground and planted themselves onto the wall for exactly one second. The grease was so thickly applied that neither of them had any traction, and they both flopped to the sand below.

“Oh gosh, are you okay?!” Sky shouted from atop the wall.

“I’m

fine!”

Jasmine retorted. “Just gotta…” She tried to stick the sole of her boot on the wall, but it slipped again. “...argh, dammit!”

Shawn, however, had an idea. He clung onto the rope with his hands and feet, and with every little movement, he pushed the grease down to the sand. “Just do a rope climb!”

Jasmine watched as he scaled the greasy rope, and Beardo put his hands on his head. “Dude! Why’d you tell her that?”

Shawn realized the simple fact; they were friends on opposing teams. When Jasmine acted on his advice, she was ahead by an arms’ length, which was actually quite far if you considered Jasmine’s lankiness.

“Oh, shit!” Shawn blurted out. He scrambled quicker and quicker to the top, but no matter how fast he went, Jasmine was well ahead of him. With a silent high-five to Sky’s palm, the gymnast looked up at the zipline’s handles with a determined expression. She copied what Shawn did with the rope and gave it a death grip, slowly sliding the grease off the rubber, and though it was still a little slick, it was much more manageable.

“Gimme a boost!” Sky demanded, and Jasmine steeled herself as the gymnast gripped the handles. When she lifted her feet off the ground and hung in a cannonball position, the Aussie gave her a quick shove, resulting in a rapid descent. The moment she planted her landing, she smacked Amy’s hand, perhaps a little

too

hard.

“Ow!” She winced. “Too freaking strong!”

“Sorry!”

“Woah!” Chris exclaimed. “Looks like the Falling Bears are

falling…

in style! And the Hawks are left hanging,” He said as Shawn somehow missed the high-five to Beardo’s open palm. He tried again, and the beatboxer grumbled and hopped on the zipline.

“C’mon, Beardo!” Sammy cried out, and as she did, Sky high-fived her terrible twin.

“Ha! You guys

suck!”

Amy jeered as she stuck her tongue out. Right after, she leapt off the wooden platform and onto the first wooden square…

…and Amy felt her heel slip. “W-what?!” She fell flat on her back, and after that nasty impact, she fell face-first into the little lagoon.

Sammy giggled, just in time too, as Beardo high-fived her to share the

schadenfreude.

“You got this, Sammy. Show her who’s boss,” He spoke like a hypeman, and she certainly felt the hype as she took a breath.

“You got it!”

The moment she hopped onto the platform, however, she proved that she was just like her sister—she slipped on her heel, and the bacon grease led her to the shallow waters below. It also led her right to her sister. The two had a bit of

deja vu

when Sammy landed right on top of her.

“Ow!” Amy yelped. “Once again, Sparemy, you

suck

at landing.” She shoved her sister away, and when she splashed onto the sand, she was met with rage. Rage that peeked through wet, blonde locks. There it was, Amy thought, the look that appeared once in a blue moon.

“I do

not!”

She shouted back. As she climbed a wooden ladder back to her starting point, her spite heightened. “And I’m gonna

prove

it!”

Amy looked back at her as she got on the ladder. “Fine! Let’s freaking

do

this!”

Then, much to the Hawks’ dismay, Sammy went back to her spot… and

waited.

She crossed her arms as Amy climbed out of the pit, and Shawn put his hands on his head. “What are you

doing?!”

“I’m sending a message!”

“By taking your time?!” He shouted back.

“By beating my sister!”

“Aw, hell no.” Beardo facepalmed, and a loud incorrect buzzer escaped his lips.

“Just go already!” Shawn ordered, but just as he did that, Amy lined up next to her. They looked at the parallel parkour platforms, and then they eyed each other for a moment. Without another word, the two leapt off the sand and onto the greased wood, and they both stuck the landing in different ways. Amy landed with one foot, right where her shoe slid the grease off, while Sammy did a clean plant.

“Center of mass!” Scarlett shouted, her back turned to the pipe maze. “Good work, Sammy!”

Amy growled at that. Why did

she

get praise, even when she did a totally basic move?! She looked at her teammate, Max, who simply leaned against a giant pipe and yawned. “Hello?! Purple guy?! Are you not seeing this?” She asked as she hopped onto the second platform, as did Sammy, and they both kept their balance.

Max yawned again. “Yes, yes, you are quite nimble. Now be nimble

faster!”

“Faster?!” The twin in red growled. “I’ll show

you

faster!”

Everyone gasped when she did it; a front flip into a quick dismount, right onto the greasy wood. Sammy was not going to let that slide. She did the same thing, and she landed it too, albeit slightly shakier.

“No! Don’t be distracted,” Scarlett implored. “Just do what you’re comfortable with!”

Sammy gasped. She had a point, she thought, and so, as her sister flipped and jumped like one of Sky’s teammates, she decided the simplest route; skipping and hopping.

“Man,” Sky scratched her head. “Guess I have some competition.”

“

Tell me about it,”

Beardo grimaced at their athleticism—just as they marvelled at his beatboxing skills, he feared their physical prowess. He hoped he could at least lay low for now, especially since he already did his part. He wiped the grease off his palms as the twins hopped off the final platform…

simultaneously.

“I win!” Amy blurted out.

“No way!” Sammy retorted.

“GET ON WITH THE CHALLENGE ALREADY!” Chris shouted through a megaphone. They all wondered where he got

that

from, and it shook up both twins enough that they hastily high-fived their teammates.

Max rushed into the pipe maze, but Scarlett did two things; first, she grabbed a handful of sand and rubbed it on her palms, and as she climbed into the pipe, she closed her eyes as hard as she could. It all happened so fast that Sammy couldn’t even question what had happened, and before they knew it, both of them were deep into the labyrinth of iron and grease.

Max squinted. He squinted so hard until his eyes finally adjusted to the dark. He could see his gray coat and his pale hands, and that was enough. He could now act upon his plan, and as he crawled on all fours, he tried to do it as silently as possible. When he heard a tumbling sound from his right, he gasped and stood still, or at least he tried to. He kept his breath steady as he inched closer and closer to the noise, and amidst the tumbling and bumping against metal pipes, he heard wordless shouts, no doubt from a young lady’s mouth. The sounds got closer and closer, until he

knew

Scarlett was within arm’s reach. He put his hands in his pocket and scooped the sand out, and when he saw that red head of hair, he struck.

“Taste my pocket sand!” He shouted dramatically. The clump of sand, indeed, flew through the cramped space and landed right on Scarlett’s face. Max let out an evil laugh as she froze in place, and he revelled in the moment. “Ha! You didn’t expect such a

devious strike, didn’t you?! You—”

And then he realized something. He realized it the moment she took off her sand-covered glasses, and from behind the tainted lenses, out came two green eyes. They reminded him of a tiger in the bush, prepared to pounce at any moment, and every movement she made was slow, so full of scornful intent. She slowly wiped the sand off her chin, and without another word, she towered over him. Even when they were on all fours, she made him feel so small, so helpless. He said nothing and only gulped as he awaited the consequences of Scarlett’s short-sightedness, which was something he should have seen from a mile away.

Scarlett slapped him. The smack was so powerful that it echoed throughout the pipes, and everyone outside, even Chris, winced at the sound. Max had no idea she

had

that kind of power, nor the

spite

to deliver such a powerful blow.

She was

perfect.

He couldn’t stop looking at her, even if she looked back at him with such sourness. “

That

was for your crude little trick,” She said, and he watched as she pulled something out of her pocket. “And

this

is for your pride!”

Max would have ducked, but it was too late. His attack was turned against him, and he didn’t close his eyes on time—the sting was unrelenting, considering the grains had some seawater in them. “Aaargh! Curse you, Scarlett!” He writhed in pain as she quickly crawled away.

“Mark my words,” He shouted as he crawled half-blindedly. “You have not seen the last of Maximus Morgan!”

Scarlett just smirked as she navigated out of the pipes. When she crawled out, her body covered in sand and grease, she gave Sugar a quick slap on the hand, and that left the redhead somewhat disappointed. She didn’t even get to explain how she found the exit so quickly! Then, she realized that she could simply use the confessional, and she did just that.

“While all of you were focused on the first three sections of the challenge, I took it upon myself to have a little stroll. Particularly, a leisurely stroll around the pipe maze, and as I surveyed the labyrinth from above, I

did

get my socks somewhat damp with sea water, but from a certain angle, I was able to plan out the most efficient route towards the exit!” She said, chuckling at her own genius. “And such a strategy only required my limbs, and my imagination, which is why I had my eyes closed shut—how

else

would I envision the path in such a dark, damp environment?”

“Ow!” Sugar felt the barbed wire prick her skin. “Dang it, this is harder than it looks,” She said as she crawled through the sand—and it was clear that her wide frame did

not

suit this part of the challenge.

“Don’t worry about it!” Topher shouted as he stretched behind the balance beam.

“Chris would

never

use super-sharp barbed wire, it’s a legal liability! Isn’t that right, Mr. McLean?” He turned to the host, and the fanboy expected a smile, but all he saw was a frown.

“First off, please don’t call me that. Makes me feel old,” He said as he raised two fingers. “And second, those barbed wires aren’t enough to cut, but they

do

sting. Kinda like thorny bushes, except with a

lot

more rust on ‘em.”

Topher blinked. “So

that’s

why I got those Tetanus shots… that’s pretty well thought out, if I do say so myself.”

The host chuckled. “Please, you’re flattering me. Now, how’s

Dave

doing?”

“You

cretin!”

Max tried to shove Dave towards the barbed wire, but with every shunt, the neurotic nerd resisted and pushed back. “When I threw that wet sand at you yesterday, I did it in mere

jest!

To think that you are

actually

scared of these harmless grains of sand… pathetic!”

“

Harmless?

They can get into my

eyes!

And my

ears!

And every

other

orifice in my body—

you

should know that more than anyone!” He shouted back.

“David!” Ella shouted from across the sea of rusted metal. As she did, he and Max paid close attention. “Sugar is almost halfway done!”

“See?!” Max pointed out the pudgy farm girl, her blonde locks ruined by the sand and the poky wires that stabbed them. At this point, she struggled like a baby seal getting her bearings. “Are you

actually

going to allow a loss to

that?!”

“Goddammit! I can

hear you,

Maxie!” She shouted as she turned her head. “If I weren’t stuck in this goddamn crawlin’ thang, I’d mash you ‘till you’re friggin’ purple paste!”

“Paste?” He smugly smirked. “Oh, I’m sure you know

much

about that, considering it was your favorite snack!”

Scattered ooh’s and cackles came about from the contestants, and it made the country girl stop in her tracks. “S-shut up!” Sugar’s voice trembled. “Oh, I swear, when this is all over—ow!---You’re

dead!”

“Not unless

Dave

here can beat you to the finish line! Make haste, minion!” He shoved his teammate forward, and when he fell to the sand, he crawled out of sheer adrenaline. The sooner he could finish this section, the sooner he could wash off, and the sooner he could purge himself of this unclean substance. God, he thought, he was becoming

just like

his parents, after all.

The thought of that only made him go faster. “Wow!” Chris shouted. “And

here

I thought Dave lacked

any

physical prowess whatsoever. At least, that’s what it said on his file…” He pondered and put a hand on his chin as everyone watched him crawl like a gecko in the desert—rapidly, explosively, and urgently.

“What in tarnation?!” Sugar gasped as she ate some of the dust in his wake. “Eck!” She spat out the sand as she crawled forward. “That boy’s faster than lightnin’!”

In fact, he was

so

fast that he had high-fived Ella’s gloved hand

right

after she uttered that. Then, much to their shock, he made a run for the waters of Pahkitew Lake. “Sand! I hate sand!” He exclaimed. “It’s coarse and rough and it gets

everywhere!”

That was about the last comprehensible thing he said as he dove into the water, stripping off his vest and his shirt as he began his impromptu bath.

Ella covered her mouth. “Oh, dear…”

“Yup! That’s what you

should

be saying, princess—’cause I’m off!” Topher slapped Sugar’s hand, and she gasped as Topher approached his balance beam.

“Ooh!” Chris winced. “Rookie mistake there, folks,” He said as Ella trotted to her beam. “You gotta keep your head in the

game!”

“Right on, Chris,” Topher replied as he barely kept it together on the beam. “Teams are like,

super

important and stuff, but—woah!” He felt something slip, and as he fell forward, he only had one option… his hands. The other contestants gasped as he gripped the wood with all his might, practically supporting his entire body weight as he did a push-up on the wooden rod. “Whew, that was close!”

“Good form!” Ella clapped a little as she daintily walked past him.

“What?! How are you

doing

that?”

Perhaps daintily walked was not quite an accurate way to describe how Ella moved—she slid

with

the grease, and with every slide, she did a little hop to accentuate her speed, much like a figure skater would… but to do it on a thin wooden rail? That was

ludicrous,

and everyone who saw her grace was absolutely floored. By the time she reached the end, Topher was only halfway done, and she was so proud of herself that she gave Leonard a

massive

hug instead of a high-five.

“I’ve done it!” She shouted with a giggle.

“By Aghanim’s Scepter!” Leonard hugged her back. “Where did you learn such agile artistry?”

“Oh!” She almost forgot to high-five him, so as they broke out of the embrace, they did just that. “Ballet classes, my friend. But quickly, Miss Piggy is waiting for us!” She pointed at the pig in question, who was still on a leash held by the intern.

“Indeed! To victory!” He hopped out of his spot and onto the treacherous tire path, which, now that he thought about it—why were all the tires different sizes? Some of them were thin bicycle tires, while others were massive tractor tires, though this did not stop him. As he soldiered on with a fire in his veins, the more he felt his stamina drain, his breath growing louder and louder. “Victory is… in my grasp!”

And then, Topher slapped Rodney’s hand. The hulk of a farmboy cracked his knuckles and had his eyes dead set on the pig. He was not going home

now,

he thought.

That thought turned him into a bulldozer.

“Good grief!” Ella shouted. She and Topher dashed away from the greased-up tire road as it soon became a rubber storm—instead of stepping on the tires, Rodney powered through them, his mighty weight crushing the lesser ones while the larger tires flew in the air.

“Oh, dear. Dodge roll!” Leonard exclaimed as several tires flung his way. It seemed that even

he

had some hidden athleticism, as he walked the walk—or

rolled the roll,

in this case, dodging the barrage of vulcanized rubber and bacon grease. With every tumble, Rodney inched closer and closer, and so did he.

Jasmine saw this happen from the top of the 20-foot wall. “Bloody hell! Rodney’s gonna

clobber

‘im, how’s he gonna get the pig?”

Then, something fantastic happened. Amy’s braincells moved around, and as they bounced off each other for ideas, Rodney and Leonard grew closer and closer to the prize. Could Leonard kick him in the nuts? Nah, she thought, he wouldn’t have the

guts.

She might as well do it

herself!

There it was, she thought. A lightbulb.

“Who says

he’s

gonna get the pig? C’mon, people, let’s move it!” She ran out of her station and took a shortcut around the course, much to Chris’ amusement. He said nothing, however—he wanted them to realize it on their own.

“Wait, what?” Sky asked, though she sprinted and followed the twin in red.

“Remember what Chris said? Like,

whoever brings Miss Piggy back wins immunity for their team.

It doesn’t

have

to be Leonard!”

As the other Bears and Hawks heard her words, they collectively gasped. Well,

almost

all of them—Dave was still in the lake, and Rodney shunted a truck tire sideways, while Leonard deftly dashed forward. The intern was completely overwhelmed at the contestants’ rapid actions, and so he let go of the leash and darted to safety.

The pig did the same, and she left the two finishers in the dust. “What the—” Rodney said. “---Get back here!”

“Come to mama!” Amy shouted as she caught the swine in her sights. The pig squealed nervously as she picked up the pace, every single muscle fiber being pumped with adrenaline. There was a hunger in the cheerleader’s eyes, and it was something it recognized from pure instinct; a predator was on her tail.

“Bloody hell,” Jasmine grumbled as she grabbed the greased-up rope and rappelled downwards. Shawn did the same, and before they knew it, both teams were in hot pursuit.

“Woah!” Chris said as Amy darted past him, and she was so quick that her body created a gust of wind. “Now

that’s

athleticism!”

“Okay, wait,” Sky panted as she ran alongside Amy. She looked over her shoulder for a moment, and down the beach, Shawn, Sammy and Sugar were on their trail—a triple threat, she thought. “How exactly are we gonna

catch

her? She’s all greased up!”

Amy scoffed. “Watch me!” She activated the last of her reserves and went full-send. Suddenly, she outpaced Sky, and with an explosive jump off the ground, she flipped in the air not once, but twice—and landed

right

on Miss Piggy’s back. When she did, she leaned down and grabbed the loose leash and yanked it hard. “C’mon, you

bitch!

Let’s move it!”

Miss Piggy did not take kindly to piggy back rides, especially when her passenger was

this

ungrateful. She made herself clear and did a full 180-degree turn, and Amy slipped off her back. “Ah! Oh, God—ow!” She hit the sand, and with all her might, she held onto the leash as she was dragged on the ground.

“Not on my watch!” Sky called out, and with lightning-fast reflexes, she yanked at the collar as Miss Piggy passed her by. Her olympic grip was so powerful that it only took three fingers to hold the swine back, and as Sky anchored herself in the sand, Amy got up and did the same thing. “C’mon! Show this pig who’s boss!” The gymnast shouted.

“Not if

we

do that first, god-dangit!”

The girls gasped as they looked up—lo and behold, the triple-threat of the Hawks closed in on them. The same trio that beat the

hell

out of those interns, Chris thought, which made this situation somewhat poetic. That would

definitely

make for good TV, he thought, but little did he know that something

else

would boost this season’s ratings. God knew that he needed that, and the Bears needed this, too.

Ella whistled. It was a whistle that could have split the skies in two, and it definitely split their attentions. Even the rambunctious Miss Piggy stopped in her tracks, and as Sky unconsciously let go of the collar, Ella took in a deep breath. If there was

anyone

that could bring that pig home, it would have been

her.

She had completely forgotten about one tiny detail, though.

Beardo practiced.

A loud, disgusting snort ripped through the air. Everyone turned to the unkempt vocalist, and Miss Piggy especially. Without a second thought, the swine ran as fast as she could to the beatboxer, and as she sprinted over the sand, he did the same towards Chris.

“Oh, you—” Ella scrunched up her face a little, and then she took another breath. “--Calm, calm waters…”

As she mumbled, her teammates took action. Max, whose stubby legs left him at the tail end of the pack, coincidentally left him in Beardo’s path. He looked over his shoulder and saw Chris, and then he dug through his pockets. He had never felt so grateful for sand’s existence up until now, and with all his might, he tossed what remained of the failed plan towards Beardo’s face. “Once more, with vigor!”

“Ah! Jesus, man!” Beardo was blinded, and that left just enough time for Max to trip him up. When he flopped to the beach, Miss Piggy stopped in her tracks, seemingly concerned, and that left Max just enough time to grab her leash.

“Mwahaha!” He let out his signature evil laugh, and Chris chuckled at his enthusiasm. He seemed

so

amused that he walked towards the little troublemaker. “Victory is within our grasp! Nothing can stop us—”

A shadow loomed over both Max and Miss Piggy. The two turned and looked up, and they saw Rodney staring down at them. “

I

can,” He said as he lunged down and tried to grab the pig, but just as he was about to, Chris jumped between them.

“No you can’t!”

“What?!” The Flying Hawks shouted. Topher, above all else, was outraged. “Chris, you can’t just—”

“--Max caught Miss Piggy, and that’s

final,

” He snapped back. “And

I’m

saying that ‘cause y’all have been duking it out for

so long

that we’re about to run out of air time, and I do

not

wanna do another two-parter. I don’t think we can stretch our budget

any

further.”

“That’s

bullshit!”

Sugar protested. “Y’all made

lots

a’ money last season!”

Chris’ patience wavered. “And

most

of it went down the drain. Legal problems, court payments,

out of court

payments, paychecks, royalties—we’re almost

totally

sucked dry by now!” His rage stunned the contestants, as the mask slipped. “God, I

totally

need a time-out. Flying Hawks, figure out who you want

eliminated

. Falling Bears… well, that intern guy’s gonna give you your reward.”

Everyone exchanged a series of looks—some incredulous, some confused, and others relieved. Out of all of them, though, Rodney growled and stomped off into the forest. “Let’s get out of here. This

sucks!”

“Uh, yeah, good call, big guy.” Topher gulped nervously, and for once he looked to Shawn with genuine concern. When he returned another nervous gaze, it only doubled their worries. Sugar, on the other hand, joined Rodney in his rage, and kicked sand at Max as she walked away.

The purple-haired guy just winced and said nothing—after all, the damage was already done.

Chris, too, walked away from them and approached the intern. He whispered something in his ear, and after that, the young man adjusted his cap and cleared his throat. From behind a tree, he pulled out a massive cardboard box and carried it towards the Falling Bears, who fell silent. Though they had won immunity, none of them cheered.

“Fucking Chris,” Amy blurted out. Thankfully, the host was out of earshot by then. “Why’s he such a buzzkill?”

“Why did he just

interfere

like that? That’s

so

unfair. God, I didn’t even

feel

like I won,” Sky admitted. “You know what I mean?”

“Psh,” Leonard shook his head. “All of my dodge-rolling for

nothing.

Might I say, a

farce!”

“Well, silence your whining,” Max said, and that got him some bad looks. “Let the man speak.” He pointed to the intern, who set down the cardboard box right next to him. He cleared his throat again and recalled what Chris told him.

“Falling Bears, congrats on winning the challenge,” He said rather sheepishly. “Your reward actually has

two

parts… the first reward is Miss Piggy herself—”

Ella gasped and squealed loudly, and she sprung out towards their rotund acquaintance with giggles in her lips. She covered the greasy pig with her love, wrapping her with a hug, despite the grease—it was something she seemingly forgot about, much like something else. “We’ll be the

best

of friends!”

“Um, I’m not finished.” The intern grimaced as he opened up the cardboard box. “Your

second

reward is courtesy of Whole Hog Meats and Smokes… our sponsors for today.”

Ella stopped smiling.

“What?”

She gazed upon their rewards with horror—a portable grill, a stainless steel pot, a bag of charcoal, a complete set of knives, a long-nosed lighter, a stack of old newspapers, and most importantly, a rack of rubs and spices. The intern didn’t bother to elaborate.

“Oh, thank God!” Amy groaned. “I am

so

hungry right now!” When she said that, the intern nodded and tilted his cap at them, and then ran away as fast as he could.

“N-no!” The local princess hugged Miss Piggy, who let out a squeal of mercy, but she had forgotten that Max had a grip on her leash. He pulled the pig aside, and Ella fell to her knees. “You

must

spare her!” She said to the Bears. “She’s just… a piggy! She could be our

friend!

”

The swine squealed with pleading eyes, and Max tightened his grip on the leash. “She may

also

be our dinner.”

“B-but—”

Jasmine stepped in and helped her up. While she did, she gave that same stern look that put Dave in line. “--Ella, this is our best shot at not starving to death. I’m sorry you

really

like her, but berries and mushrooms aren’t enough to survive on this island.”

Ella thought about it for a moment, and no matter how she spun it in her head, Jasmine was

right.

It was a bitter pill to swallow, so bitter that her lips pulled down to a deep frown.

Tears welled up in the singer’s eyes. Jasmine winced as she realized what was about to happen, as she was

not

prepared for this, especially after a win. Leonard, on the other hand, caught on quickly. He repeated what she did earlier, and he hugged her tight. “Now, now, it’s going to be all right,” He said soothingly as she sobbed over his shoulder.

As he worked his magic, Jasmine looked at Max and signalled him to head back with her. While the Aussie picked up some of the reward materials, Sky picked up on the hint and followed along, and Amy just rolled her eyes when she saw Ella’s face. Fortunately for her, Ella didn’t see that.

Leonard watched as the other Bears disappeared into the forest, with Jasmine occasionally leaving marks on the trees—thank those factory new knives—and he continued to comfort their other resident oddball. “Miss Piggy shall ascend to a better place. For

us.

For our team’s sake. It is difficult, I understand, but this is the cost of the competition.”

Ella sniffled and looked right at him, but she looked to the ground afterwards.

“I know. I… I

expected

this to happen. I’d prepared for this before I left my home, but… I never quite grasped the

gravity

of it all, not until now. I mean, I’m no stranger to meat-eating, in fact, I

do

enjoy a good plate of spaghetti, but you see, I’ve connected with animals for as long as I’ve been eating them, and I’ve always kept these worlds apart!” She realized as she explained. “But now, it’s all crashing together, and…”

The more she spoke, the more she looked up. Eventually, she looked right at him. “...I suppose I have to deal with it. Thankfully, I won’t have to do it

alone.

”

She hugged him tighter, and he returned the favor once more. “You’re welcome.”

“Okay. What’s going on?”

They broke out of the hug and saw Dave, who was shirtless and soaked. His vest and collared shirt rested on his shoulders, and they looked at him as if

he

was the oddball of the team—which was not a stretch at this point.

“David!” Ella’s eyes widened. “Are you alright?”

“

Marginally,”

He said. “At least I know the water’s clean.”

“Good to hear,” Leonard replied. “Come, I shall fill you in on the details…”

Elsewhere, the Flying Hawks sat around their campfire, their faces sunken with frustration. Most of them were sitting down, at least, as Rodney grabbed the final bit of the log cabin’s roof and secured it with one spiteful smash of the hand.

“There! That’s

one

thing went right today,” He huffed as he sat down. “Stupid Chris.”

“This is

so

freaking frustrating!” Sammy’s redundant words only made Scarlett roll her eyes, but she continued on anyways. “We didn’t even lose because it was

our

fault, we lost because of Chris!”

“Well, actually,” Topher spoke up. “Beardo would’ve clinched the win if he

dodged the damn sand!”

His voice startled the team, and the mask slipped. “Dude, seriously, how did you

not

see that stupid fucking manlet winding his arm up like a windmill?!”

“Woah, woah man!” Beardo held up his hands. “Chill! I was bein’ chased by a damn pig, alright? And I’m kinda

inexperienced

when it comes to that. You get it?”

Topher exhaled. He vaguely remembered his plans to keep Beardo as an ally, but those plans seemed like a terrible idea now. He wondered, for a moment, if he would be useful in a future challenge, which begged him to ask another question. “Fine. You’re

inexperienced

with animal stuff, so maybe you can get some more experience on the island. But if I’m not gonna vote you off, who

else

is gonna go home?”

“The f—” Beardo held himself back. “---You wanna vote me off?! I thought we were

cool!”

“Answer the goddamn question!”

Beardo sighed. He looked around at the others, and they looked back expectantly, except for Rodney, who was too angry to expect anything good.

“Well…” His eyes drifted to the one person whom he scavenged with. “...Sammy.”

“What?! B-but—what’d I do?”

“You

waited.

That’s what you did. If you didn’t wait, maybe we could’ve had a head start!”

Beardo saw it, clear as day. The other Hawks saw it too; Sammy’s face changed. Her eyes pierced Beardo like a spike, and her fists clenched hard as she stood up to him. “That

pig sound…

why didn’t you do the

pig sound

when Amy figured out the twist, HUH?!” She grabbed at his stretchy suspenders and shook him.

“We could’ve

won!

We could’ve had a head start! But

no!

You. Fucking. Waited.” With those last three words, she stuck a finger in his chest, and then she let go of him as he stood there, dumbfounded. He began to sweat, even more than he usually did. “Why did you wait? Did you

want

us to lose? Like that asshole Scott?!”

That made the team gasp out loud.

“W-what?! No! I… I was just—”

He paused as she pulled something out of her pocket; a five dollar bill. “Take your fucking money. You’ll

need

it in that small town or

wherever

the hell Chris is sending you!”

The other teammates looked upon him one last time, and then they stood up and walked away from the campfire. Beardo tried looking at them back, grasping for a thought, but all he saw was Sammy’s indignant face. What he

didn’t

see, however, was Topher smirking behind him.

Then, a thought came. “Sammy, when I said you gotta stand up for yourself, this is

not

what I meant!”

She squinted at him. “Oh, so

now

I shouldn’t, like, stand up for myself? Is that it? God, you’re such a

hypocrite!

You’re

just

like my sister.”

“You know what?” Beardo sneered. “I thought you were nice. But

you’re

like your sister, too.”

Sammy gasped. “You take that back!”

“Hell no!”

She wanted to go for his throat. That deadly look in her eyes was something Beardo took too long to recognize, but Topher saw it immediately. He jumped in between them, and when Sammy saw his handsome face in her way, she stopped herself. “Okay, that’s enough of that,” He said. “You guys need to

cool off.”

Beardo sighed. “Yeah. Whatever.”

“Fine.” Sammy backed down. “I guess we’ll wait it out. The deed is done, I guess.”

“Exactly,” Topher said. “Done and dusted.”

Topher couldn’t leave it there. He

had

to tell someone about this, but the confessional was a good trek away. He could wait, he thought. As Beardo walked away, he eyed Sammy with renewed interest. Maybe he didn’t have to wait after all.

“So, you got some bite

after all,

miss cheerleader,” He said in a low voice, and his hand was on her shoulder as they took an impromptu stroll. “That surprised me. Didn’t think you had it in you—I mean, no offense—but you seemed kinda

shy

at first, to be honest.”

Sammy blushed so hard that you’d think she was drunk. Considering her mood swings, that wouldn’t be much of a stretch. “Oh, well… I guess it

did

take a bit to come outta my shell, but… after that? I feel pretty comfy,” She said as she leaned into him.

Topher did

not

expect that; his face told all. “Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Sweet!” He cringed a little as he realized what he said. “Oh, God, I haven’t said

that

since I was, like,

eight.”

Sammy giggled. “It’s alright. Or should I say,

okie-dokie.”

Which got a good chuckle out of the preppy boy. “Jeez, I haven’t said

that

since I was six,” She said.

As they chuckled and laughed and giggled, it caught the attention of someone particularly shrewd. They didn’t know it, but Scarlett eyed them from behind a tree, and she grumbled as she took some mental notes. Notes that

had

to be explicated in the confessional.

“Christopher

confounds me.

Is his goal to win? To become popular through this show? Or to find love on reality television? The latter is a

foolish

endeavor, and perhaps, the

most

unlikely… but perhaps he

does

have multiple goals. Some professional, others…

indulgent.”

She said that last word with a little too much emphasis, and she looked at the camera in a particularly suggestive way.

She then remembered this footage was publically broadcast, and she cleared her throat. “Apologies. I almost let something slip there…”

“Jesus!”

Sky almost dropped the carving knife in her hands, and the rest of the Falling Bears were rattled. The reason? The loud booming blast from the Cannon of Shame, which echoed throughout the wilderness. Ella

swore

she could hear someone screaming in the air, but as the trees rustled near their treehouse, she couldn’t tell who left—not yet, at least.

“Well, guess

that’s

over,” The olympian said as she stepped out of the treehouse. She put the knife’s blade between her teeth—a trick she picked up from Jasmine—and she climbed down to their campfire.

Ella didn’t want to follow her. She wasn’t hungry, as the remaining mushrooms and berries kept her satisfied for now, and more importantly, she did

not

want to smell the remains of Miss Piggy’s roasted corpse. At the time, she was alone in their treehouse, and she said a silent prayer for Miss Piggy’s soul, whatever good that would do. As she chewed on a raspberry, she muttered a part of it.

“...you’ve returned to the arms of the Lord. Goodbye, my friend.”

When she heard someone climbing up the ladder, she silenced herself. When the sounds were accompanied with struggling grunts, however, her interest was piqued.

“Ella… please,” Dave said as he stuck a hand up, and it held up the bottom of a stainless steel pot. She immediately got up and grabbed the plastic handle, and the nerdy boy pulled himself up. “Drink up,” He said.

She looked into the pot and saw clear water, which was so clear that the shiny reflection of the pot gave her a little mirror into her face—it was puffed up and teary-eyed. She expected that, and then she sucked it up and drank some water. “Thank you, David. I was quite parched.”

“Please, call me Dave,” He said as he gently took the pot and sipped it. “And I

really

wished I had a glass right now. You know,

germs

and all that, but I guess they’re

everywhere

out on this island, so… ugh. I don’t even wanna

think

about it.”

“Good choice,” She said a little softly. “Um, could you tell the others that I shall forego dinner?”

“Forego? Oh, of course—I know it’s tough to eat…” He paused as he noticed Ella’s reddened eyes. “...

you know.”

She nodded silently.

“Look, I’m feeling really

iffy

about this as much as you do—like, this whole island survival thing is

not

something I would

ever

do again,” He admitted. “But now that we’re here… we gotta do what we need to survive, right? Like what Jasmine said.”

She nodded again. “Of course.”

Dave’s stomach rumbled. “I’ll… save something for you. You

gotta

have

something,

right? Uh, calorie counts and all that stuff,” He said as he nervously chuckled. “So I’ll be right back.”

When he left, Ella smiled. The scent of barbecued pork may have hit her lungs, but that did not dissuade her from thinking about something wonderful. She may have lost a friend, but she gained two more in her place. That was certainly something positive, she thought.

She took another sip of purified water. It tasted twice as good after a long day, and especially since Jasmine sanitized it over a fire not too long ago. People looked out for her. That was fine. No, that was

more

than fine, for it would get her far in this competition.

She was safe.

PAHKITEW ISLAND INITIATIVE

[LIST OF SUBJECTS]

FLYING HAWKS: RODNEY, SCARLETT, SAMMY, SHAWN, SUGAR, TOPHER

FALLING BEARS: AMY, DAVE, ELLA, JASMINE, LEONARD, MAX, SKY

ELIMINATIONS: BEARDO.

ELIMINATION STATUS: EN ROUTE TO RED LAKE.

[END OF SUMMARY]

[STATUS UPDATE]

EMOTIONAL INTENSITY HEIGHTENED. INITIATE PSYCHOLOGICAL EVALUATION PROTOCOL.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“Glad that’s over,” Shawn said as Beardo travelled through the clouds. “And thanks for the trail mix.”
Chris gave another pearly-white smile. “Hey, don’t thank me, thank the producers. Seriously, their lawyers said marshmallows ‘lacked the nutritional value for a survival situation’, or something.”“For once, I can’t help but agree,” Scarlett admitted as she ate a handful of almonds and pecans. “Oh, if I may ask, where has Chef run off to?”“Yeah!” Sugar added as she chewed with her mouth open. “He got sick or sum’n?”“He’s fiiine,” He said in his usual dismissive tone. Then, he signalled the Hawks to come closer, and he spoke in a hushed voice. “Now, don’t tell anyone else, but he’s actually hosting his own show right now.”“What?! A Chef spin-off?” Topher could hardly contain himself, and he realized a camera picked that up. “Ah, Chris, you genius, that’s free advertising!’Chris smirked and shrugged. “What can I say? He deserves it. Chef’s a real trooper—couldn’t’ve done this show without him.”
“And yet you’re doing it without him,” Scarlett snapped back.
“Actually, no. We got it all planned out, trust me, he’s got a bit of auteur in him, know what I mean?”
“Sure do, Chris,” Topher smiled.
The nerd nodded. “Fair enough, I suppose.”
“Now, enough of that—I gotta go. The new pilot I hired parked all the way on the other side of the island…something about avoiding Beardo’s trajectory or something.
He is so not getting that first paycheck,” He mumbled under his breath, but his pearly whites showed right after. “Ciao!”
“Bye Chris, stay safe!” Topher waved, as did the other Hawks.
“Why’re you actin’ like that?” Sugar turned to the boy in blue. “So you don’t get eliminated?”
“Please,” He scoffed. “Shouldn’t you know by now? When the host is as impulsive as Chris McLean, you gotta take advantage. It’s called the social game. ”
“Actually, it’s social engineering,” Scarlett corrected. “But your point remains perfectly valid.”
“I dunno,” Sammy rubbed her arm. “Kinda feels a little… a little like cheating.”
“Who says it’s against the rules?” Topher smugly shrugged, and Sammy had no response to that. As such, the Hawks followed him back to the campsite, which was actually more like a second home now that Rodney had finished the cabin roof.“I’m just glad we got this thing assembled,” Shawn piped up as he walked into the cabin. “This is way safer than a tent made of sticks, leaves and plastic.”Sugar followed him inside. She saw how the light of their campfire shone through a nearby window, which gave just enough light to make the black wood seem cozier than usual. “Yup, just wish we had somethin’ soft to sleep on,” She said as she stamped the floor with a dull thud.“I wonder if Chris air-dropped the bunk beds…” Shawn said as his eyes tracked to the crate Sammy and Beardo found. “...wait, were they even allowed to keep those?”
“Heck if I know.” She leaned against the log wall. “But I reckon if we look hard enough, we’ll see ‘em. I mean, they’d kinda stick out like a sore thumb, won’t they?”
“Fair point. We’ll need to bring Rodney, though. Dunno how heavy those things can get, but all I know is that he can carry just about anything.”
While Shawn inspected the cabin with his back turned, Sugar had an evil grin. When he turned to face her, it vanished in an instant. “I’ll let ‘im know.” She walked out of the cabin, dead-set on telling Rodney to come along with them. Things were about to get real interesting, she thought.
“I’m glad you could join us, Dave.” Ella plucked some mushrooms from the undergrowth as she spoke, and she chose well thanks to Jasmine’s tutelage. “Don’t you find it so relaxing? To be out in the wilderness, amongst the pines and the owls, just as our ancestors once were?”
“Um…” He plucked a handful of blueberries from a bush. “...I think my ancestors were halfway across the world.”
“As were mine!” Leonard so enthusiastically pointed out. “But regardless, I do find this quite relaxing, indeed. It’s quite refreshing after years of city living, wouldn’t you agree?” He turned to Dave, who was busy wiping his hands on his pants after he pocketed some berries.
“Well… I guess?”
God, he thought to himself. Where was the hand sanitizer when you needed it? Why wasn’t it in his pockets anymore, and when did it slip away from him? And more importantly, what happened to all of that luggage he packed? Did it never make landfall, unlike those other things Chef dropped from the cargo plane, or was it all in storage? He had his favorite soap in there, too, and he even put it in a zip-lock bag so that nothing could spoil it, and now it probably sat there in his duffel bag in that cold, dark cargo hold.
At least it was safer than the island, he thought, and as that thought went, something else arrived.
“What in tarnation—” Sugar paused as she spotted the three. “--Why do we keep runnin’ into y’all? You followin’ us or somethin’? She asked as she pointed at them with a crowbar. She, along with Shawn and Rodney, were actually a few trees away from them, and Ella gave her new friends some unsure side-eyes.
“No, not at all!” Ella hollered back. “Though… we have ventured quite a way’s away from our treehouse,” She said as she turned around, and there they saw the cuts on the trees. Shawn squinted and figured that Jasmine taught them that little trick.
“Yeah, we just left our base, so… good thing you left those markers.” He chuckled nervously as Leonard grinned back.
“Of course!” He produced a hand axe from his robe. “With my trusty blade, we shall never go astray.”
Sugar kept her eyes on the robed nerd. “Ooh, you speak like my town pastor, all fancy-like.”
Leonard chuckled and smugly smiled back. “Why, thank you. I take my vocabulary quite seriously. Speaking of taking things seriously, pray tell, what is that crowbar for?”
“Aw, this lil’ thang?” She waved it around, and as Rodney stepped around her, he winced as it almost hit him. “Just in case we run into some crates or whatever. Never know what Chris dropped off on the island, am I right?”
“Oh, most certainly! Remnants of Wawanakwa, yet to be found.” He raised his free hand and spoke dramatically. “And surely, they shall not escape our gaze much longer!”
As if the island had listened to him, something heavy fell from the treeline, and when it crashed between the two scouting parties, they jumped and screamed. Rodney cowered for a moment before he focused on the object“Now that’s a huge box,” He said, though as Shawn looked at it, it was not really a box—it was a rectangular crate. The fall was so severe that the wood cracked, and the hulking farm boy crouched down and flipped it over. “Ugh, smells kinda… musty.”
Then, Rodney saw it—the printed text on the wood. “For immediate destruction by order of the superior court? The heck?”
Shawn adjusted his beanie. “Guess Chris wasn’t lying about the legal stuff—big government strikes again.”
The rest of them, even Dave, who popped out of a bush, approached the box with anxious anticipation. Sugar didn’t bother to dwell on their words, and she wasn’t particularly annoyed by the smell, so she used the crowbar for its intended purpose. When she did break open the shipping crate, mattresses spilled onto the grass.
“What the—hey! That’s just what we’ve been lookin’ for!” She knelt down and picked one up, and she slung it over her shoulder with one hand. Dave, Ella and Leonard were taken aback by her display of strength, but if that wasn’t enough, Rodney grabbed two and stacked them over his head.
“Oh.” Dave grimaced. “I guess they never washed those…” He paused as the smell wafted upwards—it reminded him of his school gym’s locker room. “...not since season one.”
“Then we’ll wash ‘em ourselves!” Sugar said with a little snort. “Heh, ain’t nothin’ a bit of water and sunlight won’t fix.” As she said that, Shawn grabbed one too, and he was able to prop it up behind his neck and over his shoulders. The survivalist exhaled deeply before he said his piece.
“You guys can take the rest, if you want.”
“What?!” Sugar blurted out. “But we found ‘em first!”
“Hey,” Rodney nudged the fellow farm kid with his elbow. “ Jasmine needs a place to sleep, y’know.”
“Ohh!” It was a good thing he was there, she thought—otherwise, she would’ve let something slip. Then, something brilliant crossed her mind, and she acted on it. Mama always said she was a good actor, she thought. “Well, alright. A friend of Jasmine’s a friend of ours, too, ain’t that right, Shawn?”
Leonard and Ella exchanged unsure looks. The local fantasy nerd wanted to question this, but Shawn spoke first.“Uh, sure. Just be sure to let her have it, alright?”
“Of course,” The boy in green said as he dragged a mattress his way. “Stay safe, you three—as Dave here has encountered bears in these woods. You best not cross them.”
“Aw, don’t worry ‘bout it. I tell ya, if we do see ‘em, them bears are gonna regret crossin’ me!” Sugar replied defiantly, and that got a chuckle out of the two. “See y’all later!”
“Farewell, Flying Hawks!” Ella waved, and Dave did too out of courtesy. The Hawks in question sent back polite smiles, and when they were finally out of earshot, Dave walked between his two teammates.
“Guys…”
They turned to him, and he pursed his lips as he gathered his thoughts. “...since when was Jasmine friends with the enemy team?”
“I was going to ask that, myself.” Leonard let go of the mattress and pouted. “It’s only been one day, and already, treachery is about.”
Ella gasped. “Leonard! How could you say that?” To which Leonard winced at her sudden change in attitude. “I mean, how can you say it when you don’t even know the full story?”
“Shawn wanted Jasmine to have one of the mattresses; that tells me enough,” He replied as he paced around with his hands on his chin—by this point, he had foregone the fake beard as the bacon grease made it stink terribly.
“This stinks of an alliance,” He continued, much to Ella’s dismay. “Where exactly did Jasmine run off to last night? To the enemy team, perhaps?”
“To Shawn,” Dave said. “She must’ve done something with him…”
“...or he must’ve done something to help her!”
“And he’s helping her once more,” Leonard said.
Ella tightened her fist, but then she let go. Not now, she thought. Now would be a terrible day to slip. “Whatever he’s done, he’s doing it because he cares for her. Don’t you see? When Jasmine returned from her evening stroll, she was quite calm and collected. Now, I don’t know Jasmine as well as you two, but could it be that he might’ve been a helping hand?”
Dave furrowed his brows as he connected the dots. “And by extension, Shawn helped us by keeping her calm!” He connected them, but not how Ella envisioned it. “I mean—yeah, you’re right, Ella, he does care for her. And…” He turned to Leonard. “...maybe they are in an alliance. Or love. Or whatever! The point is, we can’t let this be heard by anyone else on our team.”
“Why?” Ella frowned.“Because we know her secret,” Dave smirked. “And that’s our way of getting her vote.”
“Her vote? David, how could—” She stopped herself again. “--Why would you do such a thing?”
That killed Dave’s confidence. That sad, puppy-dog face that she put on, it was exactly the same face she had when Miss Piggy was put to the slaughter. It was the same face that made him forget about the sand in his socks, and now, it made him forget about the musty old mattresses.
“Shit,” He blurted out. He staggered and covered his mouth as he realized what he said, but there was no use hiding it now, he thought. “I’m sorry. When I did my audition tape, I kinda promised the producers I was the most cunning contestant they haven’t given a shot yet. I… I kinda thought I could be like Alejandro. Or Heather. Hell, even Scott, minus the dirt stuff. But now…? I dunno. I just…”
He paused as they looked into each others’ eyes. “...I wanted to play the game.”
“Oh, David…” She instinctively hugged him, and that made his eyes nearly pop out of his sockets. Not because she hugged too tightly, but because hugs were a rarity where he came from, and his mother didn’t count. But this did. “...you musn’t act on such cruel thoughts. There are kinder ways to play the game, isn’t that right, Leonard?”
“True, indeed!” He grinned. “Take Owen, for instance—he was simply so friendly that not one of the top ten even considered voting him out! Quite the charisma stat, that one… or a luck stat,” He mumbled those last words under his breath, but the rest was all that Ella needed to hear.
She smiled as she broke out of the hug. Dave still had his arms stretched forward, and when he realized how pathetic that looked, he sheepishly grinned back. “Gosh, yeah, what was I thinking,” He said as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I really need to rethink my strategy.”
Leonard and Ella were pleased with that, and to Dave, that was fine. He knew their smiles were enough to keep him under wraps—but his words ate at him, so much so that he went to the confessional later that day.
“I can’t believe it. The one time I come up with a bulletproof plan, I come up with it in front of a bunch of goody-two-shoes,” He said with air quotes. “Well, I mean—at least I finally got to be honest with someone. And someone else actually didn’t think I was weird! And unlike Sky, Ella’s not out of my league… I think. ”
He sat there in silence as he realized what he said. “Shit.” It slipped out of his mouth yet again. “The point is, I need to rethink my approach. Next time, I’m not telling my plans to anyone. Not even you guys back home. Call me B, ‘cause I’m gonna be dead silent. Well, I mean, not totally silent, ‘cause him being quiet is what got him eliminated but—gah, you know what I mean.”
“What’s with the beds?” Jasmine asked as she adjusted her hat. “And why’re they so… old?”
“And stinky!” Amy added, sitting next to the base of the tree. The two Bears eyed the trio, who carried a mattress each, and Leonard rolled his eyes at Amy’s unnecessary comments. It was moments like this were he really wished he knew how to cast Silence.
“Well,” The tabletop nerd said as he dropped the mattress on the ground. “It seems they’ve come from Wawanakwa. And as such, they require… disinfecting.”
Dave panted and exhaled as he let go of his own mattress. “Sunlight… lots of sunlight. The last thing we need is a moldy treehouse, right?” He wiped his hands on his jeans rather frantically as Jasmine watched on, a little perplexed.
“Right. Let’s just set ‘em aside and fix ‘em later. I’m bloody stuffed.”
As she said that, she saw Ella’s face sink. “Oh, shit—sorry.”
“No, no!” She snapped out of it. “It’s alright. Miss Piggy is in a better place now.”
“Precisely, she’s in our bellies!” Max blurted out, and only Amy laughed at that joke. She raised a hand and the two high-fived each other as they let out their cackles. The rest of the Bears just looked at them.
“Not cool, man.” Dave huffed as he climbed up the tree. Ella silently followed him and that prompted the others to split away from the campfire.
Even Sky, who was resting on the balcony above, heard that loud and clear. “Yeah, that was way outta line, Max! Read the room—I mean, even if we’re not in a room—ugh, you know what I mean. Leave her alone!”
“Bah, fine then,” Max retorted as they went away. “It takes a certain degree of intellect to fully grasp the nuances of macabre humor.”
“I know, right?” Amy grinned. “You know what, purple guy? Maybe I can forgive you for not caring about my totally awesome gymnastics abilities, like whatever. All I know is that I’m not the only person who’s ballsy enough to talk shit.”
Max remembered whom he was talking to. A part of him seethed, but another part of him schemed. “I wouldn’t quite call it that, but I am quite glad that you’ve… appreciated my sense of humor. Perhaps we do have something in common after all…”
“Yup! We’re both really smart.”
Max blinked. He tried to forget about that overnight—and he politely nodded before he climbed back upstairs. He hoped he wouldn’t have to deal with her for much longer…“Ugh, great. Another challenge. In the morning!” Amy whined yet again. As the Falling Bears followed the crimson smoke once more, they all stretched and yawned as the sunrise peeked through the treeline. “What is it with Chris and challenges in the morning? Like, doesn’t he need his beauty sleep for that stupid face of his?”
As they tread over the damp morning dew, most of them were not ripe for conversation, but thankfully, one of them got the ball rolling.“I heard he wakes up at 4AM every day, actually,” Dave added. “And he even gives his face, like, this intricate ice bath and moisturizer routine and everything. He makes my morning routine look like child’s play.”
Jasmine furrowed a brow. She wasn’t one to use any skin products except for the disinfectant on a bandage, which barely count. “Child’s play? What do you even do? ”
“Uh, well… y’know.” Dave rubbed the back of his neck, for his team did not know, and he didn’t want to divulge the whole truth. He had to choose wisely. “I wash, I scrub, I exfoliate, I moisturize. You know, the usual.”
“The usual?” Amy asked. “What do you mean the usual? Boys don’t usually do all that stuff. Well, unless they’re a little fruity, obviously.”
“Amy!” Sky nudged the cheerleader as Dave shrank in place. “You can’t just say that!” Which got a bad look from the twin in red. “I mean—not that there’s anything wrong with that—”
“--Um, hello? When did I say that was a bad thing? Some girls like a fruity guy, like my sister Samey. Ugh, now that I think about it,” She spoke as she turned to Dave. “Maybe you would be a good match for her.”
“Really?” He gasped.
“Yeah!” She pointed at him with a cocky smile. “You could totally join each other at the bottom of the—”
“--Alright!” Jasmine picked her up by the collar of her tracksuit. “We just started the day, and I am not gonna have any more of this crap. Got it?”
Amy growled, but as she did, she caught Ella’s gaze. “Now, now. Don’t you remember what we agreed upon?”
“Ugh, fine. I’ll shut up.” The twin was back on her feet. “For now.”
Leonard rolled his eyes. “Thank the Gods.”
“What was that?!” She paused and locked onto their local mage. Ella, however, stepped between them, and she returned a rather serious look. It was so serious that the rest of the Bears exchanged concerned glances, and after two seconds of peering into something the others couldn’t see, Amy’s anger vanished.
“S-sorry.”
Max put a hand on his chin. Now would be a good time for a confessional, he thought, but they had a challenge to get to. It would have to wait.
“About time you got here,” Chris said as he looked at his watch. Indeed, the Falling Bears stepped out of the forest and into yet another clearing, but this time, it led to the side of a steep hill. On the side of it was a shallow cavern that sheltered a few things; two logs on the ground, the Flying Hawks, Chris himself, and the materials for the next challenge which were packed in a wooden crate.“Nice little cave ya got here.” Jasmine was so tall that her hat almost scraped the ceiling, and she winced as she realized it. “Carved it yourself?”“Nah,” Chris said. “It came with the island.”Scarlett looked up at the “Actually, it’s quite uncommon for a rock shelter to naturally form out of a hill such as this. Unless there’s been some sort of long-term wind erosion, that is.”“Trust me, it can get really windy around here. And rainy. Now, I don’t want our equipment to get soaked and whatnot–trust me, you wouldn’t want that either— which is why we’re doing this next challenge in the cozy shadow of Pahkitew Hill.” Chris walked up to the crate and popped the lid open as the others looked on in anticipation. Soon, however, that anticipation became anxiety.
“Is that what I think it is?” Max asked.“If you’re thinking animal-grade shock collars, you thought right.” Chris pulled them out, and they had yellow stickers with black, lightning-shaped arrows. Both the Bears and the Hawks looked to each other with fear, some more than others, but the fact that Chris started handing them out didn’t help one bit. “Put ‘em on.”
“Chris, this is…” Scarlett held a collar and hesitated. “...this is hardly safe for dogs, let alone human beings.”
“I concur,” Max added. “What part of our contract allows such electrocution, exactly?”
“Section 42 subclause B,” Topher so nervously answered. “Ugh, I knew this was coming, but… that’s showbiz, guys.”
“Showbiz? They use these babies on prisoners of war.” Shawn looked at the inside of his shock collar and scanned it for any identifying marks. “Looks like they scrubbed their serial numbers. Typical.”“What do you care?” Chris asked. “ Put ‘em on or I’ll boot you off the island .” His voice was more commanding than usual, and whether it was through fear or peer pressure, all the Hawks and the Bears clasped their collars around their necks.
“Fuck me ,” Jasmine muttered under her breath. The cold, clammy metal tightened around her neck, and with every breath, every gulp, she was reminded of that iron-clad contract that she skimmed one month ago. She wished she had read it just as Topher did, but now that she thought about it, how could Topher have read it and still signed the dotted line?
“Alright, then. Hawks, Bears, take your seats,” He said as they sat down. He pulled out a remote from his pocket, which had a giant red knob, and he held it in one hand while the other plucked a piece of paper out of his chest pocket. “And get ready for the next challenge, or as I like to call it, Ride the Lightning!”
As he raised the remote triumphantly, Dave trembled in his seat. Then, to his surprise, a pink gloved hand rested on his lap. Ella looked him in the eyes, and he looked back silently as he exhaled. What little tension that relieved crept back up, however, as Chris continued his speech.
“Here’s what’s gonna happen; on this piece of paper, I’ve got a bunch of uncomfortable truths. Truths that, well, I’ve discovered before and during the competition, and each of these apply to at least one of you guys.” He flapped the piece of paper, which fanned out to several pages stapled together.
“So, if I say something like, ‘One of the contestants is afraid of green jelly,’ you have ten seconds to raise your hand and claim that you’re afraid of green jelly. If you do, you get your team a point. If no one on your team claims the truth, your team gets shocked. But if your team claims five truths, you’re all immune from elimination. Capiche?”
“Pfft, that ain’t nothin’. ” Sugar scoffed. “All ya gotta do is be honest— that’s easy as pie. ”
“I wouldn’t say that considering the notes that I’ve gathered so far… hehehe.” Chris let out a sinister little laugh as he eyed the country girl, who just crossed her arms and huffed again.“Whatever, let’s do this thang.” Sugar’s words only amused Chris even more, and that kicked off their tricky task.
“Since you’re so eager to begin, let’s start with the Flying Hawks. Maybe something easy…” He paused as he scanned his notes, and when a finger pressed against the sheet, he smiled. “Which one of you guys has a terrible phobia of baby powder?” “What?” Scarlett blinked. She was just as bewildered as the rest of the Hawks.Chris smirked. “You have ten seconds.”
“Why would someone be afraid of baby powder?” Shawn scratched his hair under his beanie. “Unless some big corporation cheapened out and made a substandard batch that could have resulted in medical consequences—”“--No, it must be trauma related!”
When she said that, Sugar’s face turned red. “Aw, goddammit! It was me, alright?! Now shut it!” She said as she raised her hand.
“You?” The Hawks asked as they eyed her.
“What happened?” Topher asked. How else was the drama going to unfold, he thought as Sugar recalled.
“Well. Back when I was in kindergarten, I always had some baby powder on me ‘cause my mama always wanted me fresh and all that. But one day, on the day before my first-ever Princess Pageant, when I put that powder in my shirt durin’ recess, I felt like a million bugs were crawlin’ all over me! ‘Cause they were! The powder had fleas in it!”
Both teams gasped, Dave especially. He itched just hearing about it, but Chris was itching for more drama. This wasn’t over yet.
“And you put ‘em in there, you sum- bitch!” She stood up and pointed to Max, and everyone had their eyes on the schemer in grey. “All ‘cause I ate one teensy-weensy grilled cheese sandwich—”
“--That sandwich was my snack! My only snack in that lunchbox, and since it was devoured by your greedy little hands, I was left utterly famished!” He shot back, which got some strange looks from his teammates. “It’s not like you needed any more food—”
“You didn’t need it neither, you tubby!”

“Says you!”
The gasps heightened. Topher giggled like a schoolboy, and Chris chuckled and clapped once. “Alright!” He stepped between the teams once more. “As entertaining as this decade-long beef is, we gotta have some space for the rest of us here. Now, Falling Bears, let’s see if you can match their point…”
He paused as he scanned his notes. “...Aha! One of you is a fan of the beloved children’s show Huggy Bear. Like, you’ve been a fan of him since you were three… and you still watch the show… and you also have a whole internet presence being the leader of the Huggy Bear fandom. Well? Who is it?”
Every single one of the Bears turned to Ella. “M-me?! Oh, no, please, I’ve enjoyed his adventures as a child, but—”
Dave nudged her. “Ella, I don’t wanna get shocked, please!” He whispered to her rather urgently, and that was enough for her to give in. She raised her hand as the host raised a brow.“Oh. Well, that was short. One point for the Bears!” Chris announced.
“Of course you still watch that show,” Max blurted out. “But the leader of their fandom? Such childish lengths.”“What is wrong with you?” Sky glared at him, and her teammates followed suit. “I told you already, leave her alone. If you don’t, I… I don’t know what I’m gonna do, but you’re not gonna like it.” She balled up a fist and gritted her teeth, and everyone looked at her with renewed interest, her team leader most of all.Jasmine raised her brows. Seems she had some bite after all, she thought. Max just huffed and crossed his arms as Leonard poked him. “Not quite professional of you,” He said.
“He’s right, it isn’t, but that’s what keeps people engaged, am I right?” Chris asked, to which no one replied.
“Speaking of numbers, here’s our third truth. Hawks,” He said as he scanned the paper. “ One of you hasn’t done something that pretty much almost all of us do on a regular basis. Something that… makes me die inside just thinking about not doing it. One of you hasn’t brushed their teeth…”
As he paused, the team exchanged side-eyes. “We ain’t brushed our teeth ‘cause we ain’t got no toothpaste!” Sugar pointed out.
“... in a year, Sugar. In a year.”
“Holy crap!” She blurted out. She was so compelled by this sickening truth that she stood up and faced her teammates head-on. “Which one of y’all’s got that nasty, stankin’, gingivitis-prone breath?!”
“Ten seconds,” Chris reminded them.
“Quick! Everyone, open yer mouths n’ lemme smell ‘em!”
“WHAT?!” The Hawks retorted.
“Time’s runnin’ out—quickly!” Sugar didn’t even let them consent—the first person she ran up to was Shawn, and when she was uncomfortably close to his face, he raised his hand without a second thought.
“Alright, alright, it’s me!” He cried out. Jasmine felt a fire in her heart. She clenched at her jungle shorts as she watched him spill the beans. “I don’t want fluoride seeping into my gums, ‘cause it makes you more subconsciously suggestive—or so I’ve heard— so I’ve just been drinking water before and after I sleep!”
Sugar squinted at him, then she leaned in and whispered. “How the heck’re you gonna do your first kiss? I wouldn’t kiss my mama with a mouth like that,” She said as she walked off. Shawn raised a palm to his mouth and exhaled, and the warm air hit his nostrils—to his horror, he smelt nothing wrong with it. He looked at Jasmine with a nervous smile, and she looked back, seemingly reassuringly… but the confessional spilled the rest.
“Bloody hell, if what he says is true, I better have him see a dentist as soon as possible, after the season of course. For now? I guess all of our breaths stink, anyways, so that’s alright. What’s not alright is that Sugar girl—when I saw her put Shawn on the spot, I wanted to toss her into the woods… but I couldn’t. Maybe next time, eh? I’ll figure it out.”“Alright, Bears, let’s see what we got next… Aha!” Chris pointed at his notes. “ One of your teammates doesn’t wear underwear. Ever.”
“Ew!” Amy winced. “Going commando is so grody.”
“I agree. For once,” Dave said as he imagined how itchy one would get without any proper support.
Max looked at his teammates—particularly, their netherregions—and unfortunately for him, Sky caught him red-handed. “Stop looking! ” She covered her tights with her hand, and that made him look away.
Amy growled. “Jeez, can we just admit it already? Someone on this team is going commando, and that someone is gonna get us that point. And I want points! Now who doesn’t have their—”
“--Time’s up!” Chris said. He turned the knob on his remote, and the Hawks watched in horror as the Bears twitched and tensed up from the electric shock. Shawn in particular covered his eyes with his beanie, but he peeked to see how Jasmine did—not particularly well, considering she fell over backwards.“Jasmine!” He cried out. “Oh my gosh, is she okay?”
“I–I’m alright!” She said as she sat up on the log. She grabbed her hat from the ground, and as she adjusted it, Amy’s eye twitched.
“Ugh, this is just like that time I stuck a knife in the toaster!”
“Wait, y-you did that?” Sky asked as she caught her breath.
“It’s true!” Sammy called out from the other side, and Amy snarled at her.
“Shut up, Samey! That piece of bread had no right to break off after I toasted it to a perfect golden brown! Besides, how else was I gonna get it out?”
Max blinked. “You could have unplugged the toaster and flipped it upside-down, you moron!”
“Moron?!” Amy grabbed him by the coat. “I thought we were totally cool with each other!”
The shock was enough to make the mask slip. “It’s called being polite.”
“Like you’d know anything about that—you were totally ogling Sky’s privates, you perv!”
“Oooh!” Sugar hollered. “Git ‘em, Amy, whoop his ass!”
“Alriiight already!” Chris chuckled. “Save the fights for after the challenge.” As he said that, Amy let go of him and she went back to her seat. “Now, Hawks, you’re still in the lead, but let’s see if y’all can maintain it.”
He paused, then he smiled as he found the next truth. “Ooh, I like this one—it’s extra spicy—other than Beardo, who else voted for Sammy’s elimination?”
The Hawks gasped, but Sammy herself spoke the loudest. “What?! I thought it was unanimous!”
“Evidently not,” Scarlett said as she scanned her teammates.
Chris tapped his watch. “C’mon, peeps— ten seconds.”
“Look, guys, I don’t care if one of you liked Beardo more than me,” She said as she stood in front of them. “Just admit it so we can get a point!”
“Okay.” Sugar raised her hand. “I did it.”
“Wait, you? But why?”
“I liked the guy, he was funny! That, and anyone who can do them animal calls are real useful, ‘specially out here in the wild. And what’re you, a cheerleader? What’re you gonna do, cheer us to the merge?”
Sammy growled, and Amy cackled. Before she could attack her fellow blonde, however, Chris stepped in. “Aaand another point for the Hawks!” Which made Sammy sit back down on the log. As she reconsidered her options, she looked at Topher for reassurance, and he nudged her gently as Chris walked to the other team.
“Hey, don’t worry,” He whispered. “I got a plan.”
Sammy smiled and nodded.“Okay, Bears… you guys do not wanna get shocked again. Seriously, the third time I shocked the interns, I think they blacked out.”
“Holy shit,” Dave mumbled under his breath. He didn’t realize it, but Ella whimpered and moved a little closer to him. All the while, Jasmine gulped and Sky steeled herself.
“Well, then, what is our uncomfortable truth? Let us face it,” Max said.
“Sure thing!” The host grinned. “Which one of you guys is in an alliance?”
“ Already?” Topher asked from across them, and he saw how bewildered they were. He saw Dave, however, and he noticed his eyes shifting towards Jasmine. “Wow, I didn’t think you guys had the guts for an alliance. Especially pre-merge.”
“Shut up!” Amy barked. “You’re eating our time! And this is bullshit, we don’t even have an alliance!”
“It wouldn’t be known to us, you imbecile!” Max said. “And if what Chris says is true, then we have traitors among us!”
That riled up the red twin more than anything else. How could have someone slipped underneath her radar? She was the clique queen of her high school! “Is it you?” Amy immediately walked up to Sky, her finger uncomfortably close to her face. “You’re with Ella, aren’t you? That’s why you’re defending her!”
“What?! No!” Sky protested.
Jasmine glanced at Dave, and now that she saw his look, Leonard looked at her too. “What? You think it’s me?! I haven’t even thought of it! ” To which their skeptical looks heightened.From the other side, Shawn bit his fingernails. In fact, he bit them so loudly that the clattering of his teeth got the Hawks’ attention. “Uh, why are you nervous for them?” Rodney asked. The question was straight to the point, and the farm boy’s imposing height didn’t help things either. The farm girl tried her best not to snicker as she saw the fruits of her labor.
“T-they might, like die from the electric shock!” Shawn replied. “Oh, God, I can’t watch this!” He covered his eyes with his beanie, and Chris moved his hand towards the knob, so eager to punish the Bears for their lack of honesty. Then, he stopped.
Leonard raised his hand. “It is I!” He declared. “I have been quite good friends with some of my teammates, and while I never quite intended on it being called an alliance, game-wise, it is nonetheless a friendship. A friendship which may possibly result in a change of votes.”
“W-what?” Dave turned to him. “Dude, what are you doing?”
Leonard put down his hand and scowled at him. “Earning us a point. Also, avoiding the next cast of Chain Lightning , so you’re very welcome, sir Dave.”
“Oh, Leonard.” Ella grabbed his arm. “You didn’t have to do that!”
“Actually,” Chris interjected. “He did. I was so ready to up the amps by about twenty, but instead, the Falling Bears get another point. Now, the Flying Hawks, on the other hand…”
As he paused and looked at his list of truths, Jasmine looked over at Leonard, who seemed busy talking to Ella about something she couldn’t hear. Dave, who sat next to the girl in pink, shot a look back, and it was a look she hadn’t seen him do before. His gaze was narrowed, like a cowboy in those old western films, as if it was high noon and she was under the gun. He mouthed two words so Chris wouldn’t be interrupted.
“I know.”
Her face sunk. She looked across to Shawn, but before anything else was said, Sky nudged her. “Jasmine? What’s wrong?”
“Forget it,” She mumbled back. Her thoughts were only made clear in the confessional.
“Fuck me, how’d he figure out about me and Shawn? No one followed us!” She put her hands on her head as she hunched forward in the outhouse. “Unless… Shawn told someone, but then again, who would he tell? I gotta get to the bottom of this.”
“Goddammit, am I the only one on this team who ain’t afraid a’ the truth?” Sugar shouted as she angrily breathed through her mouth. She yanked Topher’s pocket mirror and fixed her frizzy hair as someone else retorted.
“The truth was that somebody was tricked into milking a bull. That is absolutely disgusting, and that can only apply to either you, or him.” Scarlett’s words dripped with spite, and she pointed to Rodney as his face turned red. “And I know it was you. Coward! ” She said as she raised a fist to him. Despite his height, he managed to shrink in place as he felt the nerd’s sting.
“Woah, Scarlett, that was totally uncalled for.” Topher leaned over and pulled her aside. “Looks, just give the big guy a break. Besides, we’re still in the lead!”
“Hmph!” She pouted. “Fine, then.”
“Oookay!” Chris nervously chuckled. He looked down at his watch and walked over to the Bears. “Which one of y’all was tricked into kissing your mom… on the lips?”
Sugar immediately laughed out loud. That got some funny looks from her teammates, but she didn’t care. She only cared about Max’s face, which was like a boiling kettle. “Quiet, you wench!”
“Wait, you did that?! Ew!” Amy stuck out her tongue. “You’re like that guy from Ancient Greece! Uh, what was his name—”
“--Oedipus Rex?” Dave said.
“Yeah, him! God, never mind what I said about us being the same, you are a total freak, purple guy!”
“My name is Max!” He said as he raised his hand. As Chris tallied that point, the short guy turned and faced her. “And I did not do it willingly, not out of some sick twisted desire, but because five-year-old Sugar convinced my five-year-old self that lip-kissing makes your mother love you twice as much! Which is obviously, a blatant, sick, twisted lie!” He shouted as he turned to the big blonde girl, who could hardly stop laughing at him.“You shoulda’ seen the look on your face! But hey, don’t worry, Maxie, ‘least you went to that child psychiatrist—but that didn’t help you much, did it?” She snorted.
“And look what those child pageants did to you,” He replied so spitefully. “You pig!”
“What?!” Sugar almost sprung out of her seat, but Rodney and Scarlett held her back. “Say that again, you bastard! ”
“OKAY!” Chris stepped between them once more. “Enough! We’re running out of time—as much as I like this beef, like I said, we don’t wanna drag it out. It’s not good for viewership! And also for your high blood pressures.”
Max and Sugar gasped. “How did you—”
“--Hawks!” He turned to the next team. “You got three truths so far. Two more and you win immunity. Now, which one of you guys got spanked in front of your whole grade school… and liked it?”
The Hawks sat there in silence, and they blinked as they processed the bizarre truth.“Okay, time out.” Topher stood up to the host. “Chris, look, no disrespect, but this is kinda getting outta line. First Rodney jacks off a bull and then Max kisses his mom, and then… one of us is into spanking. Isn’t this kinda… inappropriate? ”
“Yeah!” Sammy added. “I mean, uh, you have any more questions that aren’t this touchy? Something more PG? ”
Chris sighed. “Fine.” To which one of the Hawks sighed internally; they had slipped under the radar. “Good thing I have some other questions… like, which one of you guys slept with a pacifier ‘till you were seven?”
Sammy let it slip; she gasped. Everyone turned their heads, and now it was Amy’s turn to laugh. “Ha! So that pre-production interview did pay off!”
“Oh, shut up, Amy! You did it too!” She hollered as she raised her hand, and Amy gasped.
“Did not!”
“Did too!”
“Actually,” Jasmine interjected. “I did see you suckin’ ya thumb the other night. Guess this kinda explains it.”
“What?!”
“One point for the Hawks!”
Amy growled at Jasmine, but Ella grabbed her shoulder. When she saw the pink glove on her arm, she grumbled something under her breath. “I can’t believe you,” She said, and Jasmine just smirked in return.
That smirk was wiped away, however, when the team heard a loud gurgling sound. It was so loud that even Chris stopped in his tracks, and they looked at each other to determine the source, but no one figured it out. Not yet, at least.
“Uh… okay, Bears. Which one of you folks had your first kiss… and burped in your boyfriend’s mouth while you did it?”
“By the gods!” Leonard exclaimed. “How terrible.”
“Wait, a boyfriend?” Amy raised a brow.
“Eugh,” Dave winced at the thought. “Well, that narrows it down.”
“C’mon mates,” Jasmine said as she looked to the Bears. “We gotta get this tied already, and we do not wanna get shocked. Right, guys?”
Chris eagerly watched them as they eyed each other up and down, and to his satisfaction, Sky slowly raised her hand. “There.”
“Ohoho!” Chris chuckled. “See what a little bit of team work and a little bit of electrocution can accomplish? All that weight, right off your shoulders. Isn’t that right, Sky?”
“Um… I guess?” She rubbed her arm as everyone stared at her.
“Hey!” Sugar hollered. “Don’t worry ‘bout it. Gases are a part a’ natural life!”
“But not while I’m at prom!” The gymnast blurted out, and everyone gasped once more. If they gasped and shouted any more, one would think they were watching a horror movie, but Sky covered her mouth as she felt like the protagonist of a coming-of-age film. Not one where someone found love in the big city, but it was one of those quirky indie films where second-hand embarrassment was a core theme of the script.
It made her stomach gurgle again. “Oh. Oh no, why did I say that?”
“My condolences,” Ella added. In retrospect, she should have waited a second more, but she had no idea that Sky’s anxieties made way for, perhaps, the loudest burp they had ever heard. It was a guttural attack to the ears, and even distant birds flew away in response. Thankfully, the Bears covered their ears on time, and the Hawks just looked on rather blankly.
“Damn,” Sugar said. “Excuse you, missy.”
“This… this can’t get any weirder, can it?” Topher asked. Once, he considered Sky to be one of the more marketable contestants, just as he was, but now that the truth was out, he mentally moved her down to the “Weird” tier. Which, considering the nature of this cast, it was quite hard to not be moved down there. It struck him so hard that he couldn’t resist going to the confessional.
“Alright, something’s up. Obviously, this isn’t your usual season—sure, some weird things happened to the guys back on Revenge of the Island; Brick peeing his pants, Dawn’s psychic powers, Jo working out naked… and that Mike guy with his split personalities. Other than that, they were kinda normal, I guess, but now? It’s like Chris intentionally gathered the weirdest people he could possibly find…”
He paused.
“...Oh, God. Am I weird?! I’ll never be a host if people think I’m weird!”
He paused again.
“Wait a minute—I totally forgot about Blaineley! Phew, maybe I do have a shot after all. But one last thing; who the heck actually likes getting spanked?”
“I have no idea,” Scarlett bluntly replied. “But if we were to score this point, we’ll be safe.”
“I was literally about to say that. Now lemme see…” Chris’ sour look didn’t help Scarlett’s flushed face, but he flicked the paper once more and focused his eyes on the truths. He flipped through the pages and tried to find the juiciest, most incriminating, most embarrassing truths he had gathered so far……and then he smiled. In fact, he smiled so widely that Topher was reminded of those crazy ladies who botox’d their face. He gulped.
“Actually… I have an idea.”
He walked away from the Hawks and stood between the teams. “I got lots of truths left… and I don’t want them to be left unsaid. Let’s do a lightning round.”
He cranked the knob on his remote, but this time, it didn’t shock any of them—instead, it made all of their collars vibrate rapidly. “What’s going on?!” Ella yelped.“Nothing good!” Scarlett shouted.“Right you are! For this round, since we’re in a dead heat, I’m gonna keep saying truths until a team doesn’t have any takers. And trust me, I can keep going… but can you?”
“O-okay, but why do our collars feel like they’re ready to explode?!” Dave screamed.
“Cause they are!”
“WHAT?!” They all shouted.
“Well, they’ll disperse the remaining juice as one big shock… if you lose, of course. Now! Hawks, Bears, are you ready to ride the lightning? Let’s go!” He paused for a moment as he turned to the Hawks yet again.
“Which one of you guys stalked a girl and stole her clothes from the laundromat? Ten seconds!”
Sammy, Sugar and Scarlett looked at each other with abject horror. That horror only heightened as Topher raised his hand. “It was a dare!”
“Was stalkin’ part a’ the dare, mister Sierra?”
“Hey! She—”
“Bears!” Chris interrupted. “Which one of y’all got expelled from kindergarten for a school-wrecking rampage?”
Ella didn’t hesitate to raise her hand. “What? You?” Dave asked.
“Not surprised,” Amy blurted out, but she regretted that immediately when Ella side-eyed her.
“I am not proud of that,” She said.
“Okay!” Chris continued. “Hawks, this is the big one—which one of you is part of an alliance? Ten seconds!”
Sugar felt her heart sink. This was it, she thought. She expected this before the challenge, but after all that feuding with Max, she forgot all about it. “You gotta be kiddin’ me!”
Topher and Scarlett looked at each other very briefly, and then he looked at Sammy. She bit her bottom lip and shook her head, and someone caught that.
“Samey! Of course you’re in an alliance!”
“I am not! And stop calling me Samey!”
Amy had an evil smirk that even Max envied. “ Make me.”
Scarlett growled. “Raise your hand, you—”
The seconds ticked down. At this point, one second was left in Chris’ mental clock, and as the nerdy redhead tried to grab the blonde’s arm, she slipped out of her grasp and ran straight towards Amy. Before they knew it, the twin in blue tackled the twin in red, and Scarlett gasped as she looked to Chris’ face. This was it, she thought. all their efforts, wasted over some trivial childish feud.
Thankfully, someone thought quicker than her. For once. “It’s me!” Rodney raised his hand, and Chris frowned. Sugar frowned too, but she hid it before anyone could notice. “Damn.” He let it slip, and just as that happened, Amy kicked Sammy so hard that she flew back to her team. As they spoke, Topher got the twin back on her feet.
“Are you crazy?! You almost lost your challenge, you moron!” The twin in red said.
“I wanted to shock you,” Sammy admitted. “If I go down, you’re going down with me!”
Max rolled his eyes. “How very sisterly .”
“Shut up!” Amy swatted at his general direction. “Chris, hit us!”
“Right, which one of y’all doesn’t like pizza?”
Without hesitation, Dave raised his hand. “Sorry, guys. It’s incredibly oily. And messy.”
Amy scoffed. “Just be glad Anne Maria isn’t around to beat you to death.”
Chris couldn’t help but chuckle. “Right. Hawks, which one of y’all doesn’t wear any underwear? Go!”
“Aw, come on!” Sugar raised her hands. “Now we got two sumbitches goin’ commando! What is wrong with you people?!” She stomped the ground, and just as she did, five seconds ran down the clock.“How do you even gather this information?!” Scarlett asked Chris almost pleadingly, but Sammy grabbed her sweater’s sleeve. “I am not raising my hand!”
Those were her last words before Chris discharged the collars. It was not the first time they were shocked, but with how their bodies moved, it was as if lightning actually did strike them from the sky. Though the actual shock only lasted three seconds, to the Bears, those three seconds felt like an eternity. Ella tried to cover her eyes, Max covered his mouth as Sugar twitched, and Leonard looked on in terror, as did Sky, who was frozen in place. As the shocks subsided, the Hawks were left lying on the ground, and only Amy and Jasmine rushed to the other side.
“Shawn! SHAWN!” The Aussie called out.
“Sammy!” For the first time, Amy got her sister’s name right. It was enough to spark interest among the Bears, but that was a topic for later. “Sammy, wake up! Wake up!”
With one slap, the twin in blue came to. “Ow! I–I’m awake, okay, relax!” But as she tried to sit up, she felt her whole body sting. “Agh, dammit!”
“Oof,” Chris said, perhaps a bit too casually. He grabbed something from the supply crate and tossed it to Amy, who caught it without a hitch—it was a bottle of blue liquid. “Here, electrolytes. Turns out getting shocked really drains all your energy, apparently.”
“No shit, Chris!” Amy said as she screwed the cap off the bottle. She handed it over to Sammy and spoke as she sipped it down. “Like, what the hell were you thinking? You almost fried her!”
“And Shawn!” Jasmine added as she sprinted over and grabbed the entire crate, and she left it next to the Hawks’ log. As she spoke, she grabbed a bottle from inside and fed Shawn his helping of electrolytes. “Fucking psycho, if it weren’t for these producers, you’d be rotting in jail, you cunt!”
The Bears gasped once more, and the Hawks immediately woke up at Jasmine’s little rant. For reasons which they would understand later, however, Chris shrugged.
“What can I say? I got a good team. Maybe even the best .”
That made Jasmine growl. Shawn, however, sat up and grabbed her beige vest. He shook his head, and she stopped herself.
“And on that total bombshell, the Falling Bears win!” He announced, but no one cheered yet again. “Hawks, I want your votes by tonight. You know the drill. Ciao!”
He simply walked away into the forest, and everyone else looked on in disbelief.
“He nearly… nngh!” Scarlett winced as she felt her muscles ache. She had to crawl to the box to grab a bottle of juice. “He nearly kills us… and he leaves us without a second thought?! So impulsive, so thoughtless. It’s as if we’re… playthings.”Leonard exhaled and walked over to the box, and he squatted down and opened the bottle for her. “Truer words have not been said,” He spoke as she gratefully swallowed her drink.That caused a domino effect; most of the Bears, save Max, walked over and helped their rivals off the ground. It turned out that there were enough drinks for all of them, and as they drank and recuperated together, the logs moved closer to one another, uncomfortable truths still hung over their head.
“I can’t believe we lost. Again.” Topher stared at the ground.
“Um… to be fair, it was really close, and really messed up,” Sky reassured.
“That it was,” Leonard added. “A most daunting task of terrible truths. Some… should not have been said. Like that commando—”
“-- Don’t. Remind me.” Scarlett’s rage seeped through, and that silenced the wizard for good.
“Just like them judges,” Sugar thought out loud, and Max caught that.
“Excuse me?”
She scowled at her old rival—a familiar gaze, but something else was loaded within it. “Forget it. We got more important stuff ta’ think about. Like who’s gettin’ off this island.”
Shawn sighed as he remembered that. “You guys should just leave us to it,” He said. “We all gotta rest anyways. God knows what Chris’ll prepare for tomorrow.”
With those words, the Bears and the Hawks bid farewell, for now. Some of them couldn’t keep their thoughts to themselves, however, and so they consulted the trusty outhouse.“Okay. This is way heavier than I thought it would be,” Topher said. “It’s like… we’re all screwed up in our own different ways, and Chris is totally using that for views! Well, it’s a solid plan—I mean, look at My 900 Pound Life—but I did not wanna have to tell the world that I stole Sierra’s clothes!”
He paused. “God dammit.” He pinched his nosebridge. “Just to be clear, she told me— no, she dared me to stalk her and steal her clothes. She said it was, like, training for Total Drama, and besides, I returned them afterwards!
She’s cool with it! Go ask her, hell, ask Cody! They know the truth.” He crossed his arms, and as a thought came by, he slapped his forehead. “I should really tell that to the girls.”
“The thing that Sugar said, it slipped out of her mouth, what was it— just like them judges,” Max recalled. “For the sake of professionalism, and discretion, I will not tell you what that could mean. But I have an inkling. An inkling which almost makes me… hmm.”“Well?” Chris asked the Hawks as they approached the Cannon of Shame. “How are you guys?”
“Just give me the damn trail mix and get it over with,” Sugar retorted.
“Sheesh!” Chris tossed a bag at her. “Forget I asked. I got your votes from the confessional all piled up, so let’s make this quick.”
He picked up the bags of trail mix and started his volley of throws—Topher, Shawn and Scarlett received their snacks, which left Rodney and Sammy standing there in shock.
“Wait, what?” The twin asked.“Why me?” Rodney turned to his team.
“Do you really wanna know?” Chris asked the two, and they looked to each other for a moment.
“I think I—”
“Yeah.” Rodney interrupted. “Lay it on me.”
Chris said nothing and looked to the Hawks. “Well? Elaborate…”
Scarlett adjusted her glasses, as if she was ready to speak, but Topher stepped ahead of her. “Sammy, I’m sorry, but you almost made us lose. Over your sister. Now that’s honestly really selfish of you, and I am frankly appalled that you would rather have her electrocuted than score us a point.”
“W…what?!” Sammy growled. That same look Amy made was reflected in her face. “You don’t understand! She’s—”
“--She ran up to you and woke you up! And she didn’t say Samey that time. She cares about you,” Topher insisted. “But all of that doesn’t matter if you two don’t stop fighting. And I doubt that’ll happen.”
“B–but, but… I thought we were—”
“--I’m sorry, Sammy. It’s nothing personal. I wanna get to the merge and I do not wanna have to deal with sibling politics right now.”
Sammy walked up and almost grabbed his neck. If she reached it, she would have wrung it like a soaked rag, but Scarlett grabbed her tracksuit’s sleeve.
“Do. Not. Touch him.” She tightened her grip, and as she advanced slowly, Sammy stepped backwards, towards the cannon. The blonde could hardly put it into words, but if Amy made her feel pathetic, Scarlett made her feel helpless. So helpless that her anger crumbled under the redhead’s pressure.“Can you let go?” She muttered, and Scarlett acquiesced.
“Uh…” Rodney gulped as he saw the look on Scarlett’s face. “...Chris, maybe we should just finish this up.”
“Good call, big guy.” With that, he tossed a bag to the farm boy’s chest. “Everyone, say goodbye to Sammy.”
The blonde gulped. She looked at Topher, who couldn’t help but frown as he waved. She did her best to avoid Scarlett’s gaze, and so she looked to her other teammates, but not much came of it. Shawn at least waved back wordlessly, as did Rodney, but Sugar… Sugar smiled.
Sammy sighed as she turned to face the cannon. “Bye, guys.”
“Oi, Dave.” Jasmine crossed her arms as she leaned against a tree, and Dave paused at the foot of their treehouse. While everyone else returned to their shelter, he turned around and faced her. “We need to talk, c’mere.”
Dave exhaled. This was part of being like Alejandro, he thought. This was going to happen, and he knew it. Now, it was only a matter of execution. Come on, Dave, he thought—it’s now or never.“I know your secret,” Dave whispered first. “You’re friends with Shawn. Or should I say, more than friends?”
Jasmine wanted to strangle him, or at least pick him up like she did to Amy. Something stopped her, however, as she saw the calm smugness on his face. “How do you know?”
“So…” He left her hanging as he dusted his shirt for no reason. “...remember that time we found the mattresses? We weren’t alone. We ran into Sugar, Rodney… and Shawn.”
She gasped. “What?”
“Shh!” Dave’s years of attending libraries finally paid off, and she shrunk at the gesture. “Keep it down. Look, we ended up splitting the old mattresses between us because Rodney said you needed a good place to sleep. More importantly, Sugar said; a friend of Jasmine’s a friend of ours!” He tried his best to recreate her accent, but it was clear that Beardo could have done a better job. “So yeah.”
Jasmine sighed. “Fuckin’ hell. That… bloody idiot.”
With that last word, the blast of a cannon ripped through Pahkitew Island’s treeline, and it was so loud that the two screamed and hugged each other. When they remembered who they were hugging, they immediately let go. “Fuck,” Jasmine said. “Sorry. Look, Shawn, he… he’s helped me a lot. I mean, he may stink a little, and he may be a little weird, but… he means well. And he listens to me, and…”
As she paused, Dave crossed his arms and looked in her eyes. “...and?”
“...he gets me. Wouldn’t you want a girl to get you?”
Dave’s mask almost slipped. He remembered Ella, her puppy dog eyes, how she sat closer to him when she was distressed, and how he helped her. Her words echoed in his mind as he zoned out; you musn’t act on such cruel thoughts—there are kinder ways to play the game.
“Yeah,” He muttered. “I’d like that, too.”
Jasmine raised a brow. “What’s wrong? Are you—” She gasped as she realized it. “You’re blushing!”
Thankfully, she only shout-whispered that, and Dave realized it instantly. “I—okay, fine, I am. So what?”
“So…” She leaned down and nudged him. “...you understand what I’m feelin’, right? What it’s like to fall in love?”
Great, Dave thought. Now she knows. He just nodded silently and smiled sheepishly. To his shock, however, she wrapped an arm around his shoulder, and this was a new record of female contact for the young man—again, his relatives didn’t count.
“Fuck me, Dave—” She paused as Dave briefly wanted to say yes to that, but he remembered Aussie slang and stayed silent. “--We’re like peas in a pod!” She giggled, and she even snorted as she did so. It was nothing like how Sugar snorted; it was much cuter, Dave thought.
“Oi, maybe we could hash it out together. Maybe, erm… you could be my wingman, and I could be your wing… girl!”
Dave’s stomach felt like a black hole. This was not part of the plan. This was not even close to any of the scenarios he dreamed up as he watched the old seasons of Total Drama. What the hell was going on?
“What do ya think?”
“I, um… okay. Honestly, I’m kinda nervous just thinking about it—”
“--But if we helped each other, maybe we could… help each other out, right? Like… choosing our votes together.”
It clicked in Dave’s mind. Bingo. “Oh… you read my mind,” He whispered, and the two cackled conspiratorially.
“Sick,” She said. “Who do ya like, anyways?”
“Uh, it’s—”
Before he could talk, someone cleared his throat rather loudly. It was none other than Leonard, who looked down at them from the treehouse. “--Excuse me, would any of you prefer to sleep on the final mattress? I find it a little… ripe, if you see my meaning.”
“Erm, I think I’ll pass,” Jasmine hollered back.
“Uh, yeah, I kinda wanna disinfect it first,” Dave said. “I’ll just use the floor.”
Leonard shrugged and turned around. “Max! The bed is yours .” As he walked back inside, Dave and Jasmine let out sighs of relief.
“So, who is it?”
Dave was shaking a little, but he smiled nervously as he spoke. “Ella.”
Jasmine gasped again, and Dave shushed him again—library instincts, he thought. “Sorry! I can’t help it—you got good taste, mate.”
Dave smirked. “I guess I do.”

PAHKITEW ISLAND INITIATIVE

[LIST OF SUBJECTS]

FLYING HAWKS: RODNEY, SCARLETT, SHAWN, SUGAR, TOPHER

FALLING BEARS: AMY, DAVE, ELLA, JASMINE, LEONARD, MAX, SKY

ELIMINATIONS: BEARDO, SAMMY.

ELIMINATION STATUS: BEARDO, ACCLIMATED IN RED LAKE. SAMMY, EN ROUTE.

[END OF SUMMARY]

[STATUS UPDATE]

EMOTIONAL INTENSITY APPROACHING SUITABLE LEVELS. DATA FROM CHALLENGE RECEIVED. INITIATE TRIAL OF COMBAT.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“It was inevitable,” Scarlett said. The Hawks reluctantly ate their trail mix around their campfire, which had a frying pan propped over it. Shawn moved around some deer meat with a spatula as it cooked, and as he prepared their dinner, she continued her speech.
“Sammy’s rivalry with her sister was unsustainable. Well, I say rivalry, but it more closely resembles hatred, I think…” Her eyes shifted left and right before she settled on a conclusion. “...they confuse me,” She admitted.
“Yeah, it’s fine,” Topher replied. “She confused me, too. It’s like there was something bad inside of her, y’know? Like something as bad as Amy. I mean, we saw it when Beardo was kicked off, and it totally bit us in the ass.”“Actually, it bit her in the ass, so to speak.” Scarlett corrected him, and that got a chuckle out of the Hawks. Topher especially.
“True indeed,” He said. “At least she could, like, think about what she did over in that town or whatever. Like, what else is she gonna do?” He asked, as he knew that the airings of these kinds of shows always arrived a day after the actual filming.
“Hey wait a minute,” Sugar interjected. “ I know what she’s gonna do, she’s gonna have ta see mister Beardo again! Ha!” She snorted, and the Hawks let out dramatic ooh’s as they realized it too. “I tell you, the way they argued a few days back? If those two’re gonna keep it up, that’s gonna be some damn good TV.”
Despite their excited mutterings, Rodney sighed. “I dunno guys, I just hope they can make up and stuff. I thought they were gonna be pretty good friends.”
“Me too, but I guess that’s just how it goes on this show. It’s like they say—eyes on the prize.” Topher shrugged as Shawn sliced the portions of pan-fried deer on planks of spare wood, their juices absorbed by the tiny gaps in the grain. Sugar licked her lips, and so did the rest of them, but none of them could even fathom how hungry she was.
“You done yet?” She asked. “I’m freakin’ starvin’.”
The survivalist raised a brow as he passed the meat around. “Didn’t you just finish your trail mix?”For the second time that day, Sugar’s face turned red. “Well, I’m still hungry.” She crossed her arms, but she regretted doing that as Scarlett handed her the slab of meat on a slab of wood. She accepted it without another word, and the juices splattered all over her as she dove into the well-cooked meal with her bare hands. Scarlett grimaced and inched away from her as the rest of the Hawks winced at her ravenous display.
“Uh… is it good?” Shawn asked as she gulped down half a slab of deer. Sugar looked up with elation, her eyes half-closed as she burped a little loudly.“Damn right!” She said, and that caused most of the Hawks to dig in as well. “Heck, even if we lost, we still eat like champions. Ain’t that right?” She looked to Rodney, and when he chewed on the gamey red meat, his eyes widened.
“Woah, heck yeah!” He smiled. “Dude, where did you learn to cook like this? This is great!”
“Although, it wouldn’t hurt to have some salt… this is more than adequate for a survival situation. Kudos,” Scarlett added. “I suppose your father must have taught you well.”
The smile on Shawn’s face dropped a little. “Wait, how’d you know that?”
Before she could answer, however, Rodney chipped in. “Uh, duh, hunting isn’t exactly a girl thing to do.”
“What?” Sugar snapped. “You knucklehead, I go huntin’ all the time, what’s that supposed to mean?”As her face soured, Rodney’s lip trembled. “N-no, I didn’t mean that, I was just—”“Alriiight!” Topher stood between the two farm kids, for he felt history repeating itself. Considering this farm boy was much stronger than the last one, he did his best to break the cycle. “That’s enough. Seriously, we’re all tired and the last thing we need is another argument or whatever. We got food, water, shelter and another challenge to do tomorrow, so let’s just… chill out,” He said somewhat forcefully. “Got it?”Sugar and Rodney looked at each other, not with anger but with confusion. “Sorry,” He said, and everyone returned to their dinners. When they dug in, they moved towards the people whom they trusted the most, and the divisions were clear as day; Sugar and Rodney remained on that log, while Scarlett moved to Topher’s side. Shawn, however, was the first to notice this, and he had to tell someone about it.“Okay, they think I’m scavenging right now, so I’ll make this quick. I’m pretty sure what Rodney said in the challenge was real, ‘cause I’m pretty sure Sugar got him to vote off Sammy. I mean, I voted her off too, mostly ‘cause of the drama with her sister, but she just didn’t like her, I guess. But the point is, I’m kinda stuck between two factions right now, and any votes we do from now on probably hinge on me. Either that, or…” He gasped as he realized something.“...they’ll both vote me off! Not unless I perform so well that I become an invaluable asset… wait.” A smug smile grew on his face. “I have an idea.”The next morning, high in the treeline of Pahkitew Island, Jasmine stirred awake. She rubbed her eyes as she laid in a hammock made out of an old parachute’s canvas, and as the sun hit her eyes, she turned to the side. A part of her wished that she was under the roof of that treehouse she constructed, but every other bone in her body refused to go inside. As she laid there and adjusted her hat to deflect the sunlight, she was grateful that the lightning round didn’t reveal her one weakness—but little did she know that it would eventually come back to bite her.
“Ow!” She winced and slapped her leg as she felt a sting, and when she brought her palm to her face, she saw a large bug covered in blood. “Mosquitos? All the way up here? Christ,” She grumbled as she wiped her hand on the canvas, and if that told her anything, it was time to get up. She rolled out of the hammock and hopped onto the treehouse’s roof, and with her long legs, she slid down and landed on their balcony.
Despite the noise she made, somehow, her entire team was still asleep—a truth she discovered as she looked through the windowsill. Her eyes wandered around to observe her teammates in their natural state; Dave was curled up in a fetal position, Amy suckled on the tip of her thumb—which she tried not to laugh at this time—but to her surprise, Ella stirred in her sleep. She mumbled things with a scrunched-up face, and her hands reached out at something, but when she was about to grab the thing in her dream, she jolted awake.“No!”
She was so loud that one of the Bears followed suit. “What? What’s happened?” Leonard got up from the floor and rushed around the tree trunk, only to see Ella shaken up and breathing deeply.
“Mate, I think you had a nightmare—you alright?” The Aussie asked through the window, and only then did the two oddballs notice her.
“Oh! Um…” Ella hesitated. “...I—I’m alright. Just… another bad dream.”
“ Another bad dream?” Leonard asked. “What exactly happened?”
A strange look appeared on her face, and she looked to the ground and scanned the floor for a moment. “I’d rather not say.”
“Oh.” Leonard grimaced, then he patted her on the back. “Well, that’s all right. Perhaps we should distract ourselves with breakfast?”
“Good call, mate,” Jasmine nodded. “I’ll prep the berries.”
“Surely,” He said with a smile. When he heard Jasmine climbing down the tree, however, his smile faltered as he focused on Ella. “I’m sorry you had to go through… whatever terrors you’ve encountered in the dream realm. I know how terrible they can be.”
Ella listened to him intently, and when she took a deep breath, she mustered up a smile. “Thank you, Leonard. You’ve got quite the pure heart, I think,” She said as she stood up. “You’ve been a great help.”
That made him blush a little, and he bowed gracefully. “It’s my pleasure.”“Oh,” Her face lit up with joy. “ Speaking of pleasure, I need to warm up my vocal cords. Would you like to watch?” She walked with pep in her step towards the balcony, and Leonard followed without a second thought.
“Why, of course! I would like to see first-hand, the voice that could tame even the deadliest of beasts.”
She giggled and sheepishly concealed her smile. “Oh, you’re too kind. Now— ahem.”
She then sang a soft, gentle song, lighter than air and softer than a feather. It was a tune Leonard had never heard before, but it reminded him of the same old-school Disney princesses whom she evoked. Pop culture references be damned, the girl could sing—and those light, airy melodic hums attracted birds of all feathers—robins, sparrows, bluejays, cardinals, they all perched on the Bears’ makeshift balcony.
“I can’t believe it…” Leonard put hands on his hooded head. “...even without words, these creatures can’t help but control themselves. Truly remarkable.”
Ella smiled as a sparrow hopped on her arm. “I suppose they do listen to me. It’s… a gift, I think.”
“Would you consider it a sort of magic?”
“Magic?” She laughed softly. “Oh, no, I wouldn’t quite call it that. In fact, I’m not sure what I would call it at all… I’ve had it since I was a little girl. It just seems natural.”
“A natural talent,” He said with a smile. When he put a hand on her shoulder, the sparrow fled back to the railing. “Something we could use to get quite far in this competition, wouldn’t you think?”
She suppressed a giggle and smirked. “Ever since Beardo took Miss Piggy away from me, I’ve flirted with the idea—”
“--What idea?” Max’s voice drove all the birds away, and she sighed as he joined them on the balcony. “Is this a part of your alliance-based schemes, hm? Some sort of subterfuge?” His eyes narrowed at Leonard, whose gaze sharpened in return.
“ Subterfuge? You cannot seriously believe I am part of an alliance—”“--Of course we can!” Amy blurted out yet again, and she stood at the windowsill with arms crossed. “You literally told us yesterday.”
“ That? Psh,” Leonard scoffed. “That was merely for a point!”
“Yeah, a point for telling the truth!” She pointed through the window, and Leonard silently cursed her as he came up with a retort. When it arrived, he spoke lower than usual.
“At least I am honorable enough to utter it. Jasmine, on the other hand…”It was something that Ella didn’t want to hear—her morning was disrupted twice already, so she slipped away and climbed down with haste. Eventually, the trio of Leonard, Amy and Max spoke so loudly that the last two Bears stirred awake from their slumber. “Oh my God, what are they talking about?” Dave asked as he stretched his arm. “What time is it, anyway?”
As he looked at his wrist rather awkwardly—he forgot his watch at home—Sky rubbed her eyes.
“Uh… whatever time it is, it’s way too early for this.” She scowled as she got up from the mattress, and when she reached the windowsill, she stuck a thumb and a finger in her mouth and let out a piercing whistle. When it rung in their ears, they fell silent as she spoke her piece.
“That’s enough. I don’t care what you guys are talking about, but if you guys got nothing nice to say, zip it!”
Amy scowled back. “It’s about the alliance sitch. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you?”
Sky was a little flustered by that—Dave was too. His heart pounded as he realized the time to strike had arrived much sooner than anticipated. He looked at Sky, who stammered and stumbled over her words as the schemes brewed in his head. He looked to his surroundings and made sure Ella and Jasmine were absent—it was now or never. He took a breath and cleared his throat.“I do, actually. I have a hunch.”Everyone made way for Dave, who had the same calm look from the night before. “Leonard, you saw it too, didn’t you? Jasmine looked really nervous the other day… care to explain why?”
Leonard steeled himself. “These mattresses you see on the ground, ladies and gentlemen, they were acquired after a short scavenging trip with Dave, Ella and I. Whilst we made our journey into the wildlands, we had a chance encounter with Sugar, Rodney and Shawn. As it turned out, they were also searching for—”“--May you skip to the point?” Max rolled his hand, and Leonard groaned.
“Fine. They insisted that we provide Jasmine with an adequate place to sleep. And by they, I mean Shawn. And Rodney. And Sugar.”
Dave ran the events through his mind once more, and the mention of Max’s nemesis reminded him of one more thing. “And she said, by the way, and I quote— ’A friend of Jasmine’s a friend of ours, too’.”
Amy and Max gasped, but Dave shushed them as he did with Jasmine. For about five seconds, he felt like the most powerful boy in that treehouse. When those five seconds elapsed Sky put a hand on her chin. “How do I know you’re not making this up?”Dave’s face dropped. “You don’t believe me?”
“But it is true!” Leonard insisted, and Sky crossed her arms. “I’ve seen it myself!”
Sky sent a look to Max, then to Amy. For once, the two smart-asses kept silent—there was something about that determined gaze that said more than the words that came afterwards. “I think… we should just wait things out. The last thing we need right now is an argument before the big game. I mean—the big challenge, of course. Whatever it is.”
“I agree!” Max added. “Best not kick the hornet’s nest. Wouldn’t you agree, Amanda?”
“What? Amanda?! That is not my name!”
Everyone rolled their eyes. Even Jasmine and Ella shook their heads at her words. “Christ,” The survivalist said. “Can’t wait to vote her off, the cunt.”
Ella’s eyes widened at her strong language, and she kept silent as she chewed, though Jasmine couldn’t help herself. “I tell ya, if she can’t get her shit together, we gotta vote her off.”
The princess in pink nodded silently, and somewhat eagerly, too. Before she could add anything else, however, a red light shot in the sky—the challenge flare, to be exact. “Attention all contestants!” Chris’s voice echoed throughout the island. “Kindly follow the flare to Pahkitew Lake. Also, do bring some blunt objects—something you can swing— you’re gonna need ‘em, trust me.”
“Blunt objects?” Ella’s eyes turned to a crowbar on the ground—something Jasmine picked up, but something they hadn’t found use for until today. “Oh, dear.”
Her eyes followed the tall Aussie as she picked it up and swung it effortlessly. “Oi!” She hollered to the treehouse above. “Get your berries, get a weapon, and let’s get a move on, yeah?”
“Sure thing!” Sky said as she climbed down.
“Leonard!” Max was heard loud and clear, even though he wasn’t seen from below. “Hand me a hammer.”
“Aww, yes!” Sugar cracked her knuckles. “We’re ‘boutta have a brawl up in here! I’m friggin’ pumped!” She punched the air like a boxer, which got a nervous glance from Shawn, who gripped his axe a little too tightly. He realized he had picked up the wrong tool as the sun glistened on its blade, and when it shone in the corner of his eye, he set it down on the grass.
“I just hope it won’t be too bad,” Topher added as he stretched his arms. “I don’t wanna get any lasting damage on my face, y’know?” He pulled a pocket mirror out of his pants and adjusted his hair as Sugar rolled her eyes. “It’s kind of an asset.”
“Dude, it’s Total Drama.” Shawn gave him a somewhat miffed look. “ Lasting damage is kind of the reason why this show is on the verge of cancellation. ‘Cause it keeps happening again and again.”
“Uh, he’s got a point.” Rodney nodded as he picked up a sturdy piece of wood—a half-cut log. It wasn’t a baseball bat, but it was close enough. He let it rest over his shoulder as he spoke. “But uh, speaking of things that happen again and again, I do not wanna lose. We’re already, like, two men down.”
Scarlett rolled her eyes. “Obviously, our manpower is somewhat lacking… somewhat.” She swung their cast-iron frying pan with ease, and it whooshed as it cut through the morning breeze. “We’ve already proved ourselves in battle, so perhaps this should be more… suited for our abilities.”
Topher nodded. He took note of her analysis and rolled with it. “I agree. If we could beat those interns with the tennis ball guns, we could probably beat those guys. Am I right?”
“Yeah!” Rodney grinned. “I mean, some of those guys don’t look like they’ve fought a day in their lives. Like that short dude, uh, what’s his name? David?”
“Oh, Dave!” The handsome boy chortled. “Hah, poor old Davey. He is not gonna have a good time.” He spoke so confidently that he had to tell someone else about it, and as usual, he chose the viewers at home.“Look, the way I see it, Scarlett’s totally on-point here. It’s kinda like we trimmed the fat, and now the Hawks are all muscle. The Bears? Yeah, they got some work to do if they wanna make it to the merge. And by work, I mean eliminations.” He said that last word slowly and smugly. “Heh, I wonder how Sky’s dealing with that, actually.”“So… you guys ready to fight?” Sky asked. She clutched a sturdy club hammer as hard as she could, and just the thought of battle made her heart race. “I mean, I’m honestly kinda nervous—I’ve never fought anyone before.”
“Neither have I,” Ella admitted. “I’d rather not hurt anyone, to be honest.”
Amy squinted at her. She wondered where that look went, and what became of it—she hadn’t seen it since yesterday—but she knew that she wasn’t telling the whole story. “Well, as someone who’s got into a ton of brawls, it’s totally easy if you stop thinking about it. You just need a good reason to beat the hell out of ‘em. Like that one time Tiffany McBride stole my cheerleader outfit for a stupid halloween party, which by the way, that was a stupid thing to do ‘cause cheerleaders aren’t even scary! Anyways, the point is, if you wanna beat the shit out of someone, be sure to wear red. The blood hides easier.”
“What on earth are you yapping about?” Jasmine turned her head as she walked to the flare. “You made her bleed over stealin’ your clothes?”
“C’mooon, she had it coming! She steals stuff from our lockers all the time. Well, actually, past tense— she stole stuff from our lockers. ‘Cause when I was done with her, she needed to see the dentist for the next two years. That bitch deserved that corrective surgery.”
Jasmine looked at her teammates, and they looked back nervously. “Right,” She said, but before she could continue her thoughts, something big and blocky interrupted her. “Ow!” She winced as she felt the dull blow on her head, and after she staggered back, the Bears caught the culprit; another marked crate which hung from a tree, and it barely held on as its parachute straps were frayed. “Bli- mey… where’d that come from?”
“Must’ve fell from the treeline,” Max said. “Quick! We must check its contents.”
For once, she listened to Max and brought the crate to the ground. Her crowbar only pried it once, and as the top popped out with ease, the Bears surrounded it. “Are those… TV remotes?” Jasmine furrowed her brow. “The fuck are these for?”
Max was the first to pick one up, and when he removed it from the pile, he turned it around and saw an old piece of paper taped on the back. “Property of Chris McLean and Associates,” He read out loud. “Do not remove from the Playa Del Losers’ premises.”
“Woah, what? Do they still work?” Sky gasped as she grabbed a remote of her own. She turned it around and opened the back, only to see an empty battery compartment.
“What kind of a question is that?” The boy in grey scowled. “We will not know if they work without their proper televisions! Which, I’m sure they packed seperately…” He paused as he looked into the crate once more, and when he spotted a gap in the pile of remotes, his interest was renewed. “...what’s that?”
The more adventurous of them reached in—Amy, Sky and Jasmine dug under the pile and pulled out perfectly-sealed packs of batteries. “So if we do find a TV,” The cheerleader said. “I guess we’re all set.”
“If we find electricity first, then we’re good. ” Dave stepped forward as Amy scowled at him. This time, however, he didn’t cower as he spoke. Jasmine’s presence reassured that he was in the right. “But what are we gonna do with these things?”Max looked to the batteries, then the remote, then the hammer in his other hand. The metal hammer. “Everyone, I have an idea…”
“Once again,” Chris chuckled. “The Flying Hawks are the early birds.”
“Ha! Good one, Chris!” Topher forced a laugh, while Sugar snort-laughed next to him. “What is it with those Bears, always so late?”
Scarlett nudged him. “They could be planning something.”
Once again, the wannabe host was surprised. “Good point. Let’s just—”“Aha!” Chris called out. He pointed to the Falling Bears, who trundled out of the forest and onto the sandy beach of Pahkitew Lake. Max had a devious look on his face. It was a face which Scarlett didn’t like one bit.
“You’re on time, more or less… which is great, ‘cause this next challenge is gonna be pret-ty tough,” The host said. He walked off the beach and onto a t-shaped dock, and as he took his position, the contestants eyed each other anxiously.
“Chris, is that—the Dock of Shame?” Topher asked, and the others gasped. As they were surprised by the potential easter egg, however, their host laughed it off.“Well, it’s a replica. The original’s still stuck on the island, and thanks to certain unnamed government entities, we’re not allowed to take it. Anyways, this next challenge is what I like to call; Blunt Force Drama.”
They all gasped yet again. “Aww yes!” Sugar hollered. “I’ve been wantin’ to fight… ‘specially with Maxie!”
The schemer scoffed. “Oh, you—don’t call me that!”
“Ah,” Chris sighed. “The sweet sound of childhood drama, never gets old. Anyways! It’s really simple. This challenge has multiple rounds and in each round, you guys are gonna be put into pairs—and you’re gonna get on that dock and fight until you can push the other pair into Pahkitew Lake. The first team to win three rounds wins immunity, and a special prize…”
Ella sighed as she remembered their special prize. Dave was the first to notice that developing puppy-dog complexion, and he patted her on the shoulder. “Hey, it can’t be that bad.”
“...courtesy of our latest sponsors, Long Rod Johnson’s—” Which got some cackles out of the contestants. “--A complete fishing kit, all with the newest gadgets to keep those fish chomping on the line.” He stepped aside on the dock to reveal a small crate which was marked with the fishing shop’s logo—a manly fisherman who held his rod between his legs.
“Pfft,” Sugar cackled. “That’s hilarious!”
“It is pretty funny,” Rodney giggled. Scarlett looked at Topher, and they both rolled their eyes. Shawn, on the other hand, was more focused on the Aussie across the grass who cackled along with her teammates. He looked at her with admiration until he realized something.“Uh, Chris?” He raised his hand. “How are we getting paired? Do we pick?”
Chris shook his head. “If I did, this’d be really one sided, so I divided y’all into three weight categories. Turns out, the lopsided team count actually does make this slightly more balanced than I’d imagined.”“Wait, weight categories?” Amy asked. “First off, how do you know our weight, and secondly, where the heck is Samey?”The Hawks looked at her awkwardly. “She’s gone,” Scarlett admitted. “As per usual Total Drama tradition, of course.”“What?!” That made her forget all about her weight being broadcast to the world. “Ugh, I didn’t even get to say goodbye!”“We kinda thought you didn’t want to,” Shawn said. “And I’m pretty sure she didn’t want to either.”“Hmph!” The twin in red pouted. “I guess I’m the better twin after all.” To which the others looked at her with a mixture of doubt and sourness, Jasmine especially. She was tempted to nudge the back of her head again, but when Chris continued his spiel, she abandoned the whim.“Better, but not by much,” Chris quipped, and Amy seethed. “Anyways, let’s break down the teams—in the Lightweight category, we got Amy, Dave and Sky for the Bears… and Shawn for the Hawks.”“Wait,” Shawn said. “I thought you said it was two on two… but I’m the only one in my weight class! What gives, man?”Chris scoffed. “ Fine, I'll make the lightweights go one-on-one. Bears, y’all figure out who you wanna send against Shawn.” As he paused, the trio exchanged unsure glances, but before they could say anything, Chris continued. “For our middleweights, it’s Ella and Leonard against Topher and Scarlett. Which leaves—”“Excuse me?!” Max interrupted. Sugar giggled as his face went red. “I am not a heavyweight!”Chris glared back. “Well excuse me , mister health expert, but according to the contestant data, your BMI is waaay off. You know, on account of you being short and your waistline being–”“--Enough!” Max stomped his foot. “I concede. I’m sure I’d win regardless of my weight class.”“Right.” Chris chuckled along with Sugar, but Scarlett’s sharp eyes caught a smirk at the corner of his frowning lips. He was up to no good, she thought.
“Anyways! So that leaves Max and Jasmine fighting for the Bears, and for the Hawks, Sugar and Rodney. I’ll give y’all two minutes to plan this out.” He pointed at his watch, and the teams huddled up once more. The Bears’ side was immediately graced with the unmistakable twinge of Amy’s voice.“Okay, first things first— I’m fighting that stinky homeless guy. Got it?”Dave nodded. “Yeah, you go do that.” He waved his hand dismissively, and Sky followed along.“Yeah, you’ve been in a fight before, you got this.” She gave Amy a pat on the shoulder, but she shrugged it off aggressively.
“ Please. I know I’m good. Just watch and learn.”
Those were words Sky had heard hundreds of times throughout her gymnastics career. For the first time, she took them personally.“God, Amy’s so full of herself!” She nearly hit the walls of the outhouse, but she held back. “How can someone be so cocky and yet so… stupid. But at the same time, she’s actually pretty darn good at physical challenges, so…” She paused as she realized something.
“...if I don’t step up, she might make me look redundant! Like a box of chalk at the gymnastics meet. We always bring our own chalk, so what’s the point of the box?”She paused again, and her face lit up with joy. “Wait! That’s it! We bring our own boxes of chalk ‘cause they help us feel at ease, like the texture is not too soft, not too hard—it’s just right. And I know if Amy was a chalk box, she’d feel like itching powder.”After they silently agreed on Amy’s role, Max produced three things from his pocket; a remote, a pair of batteries, and his trusty metal hammer. “Everyone, I have a bit of a trick up my sleeve,” He spoke in a lower voice. Before anyone could ask what that trick was, he opened the remote’s casing with the hammer’s steel claw and tore its innards apart. They all looked at him like he was creating Frankenstein’s monster, and considering he destroyed something to create something new, that was not too far-fetched.
“Behold!” He said as he connected two wires to two batteries. It just so happened that the batteries were right on the hammer’s steel head, and when they saw the crackle of electricity, some of the Bears cowered in fear. “Say hello to my little friend, my little electric friend.”
“Uh… how are you going to keep that from falling off in the middle of the duel?” Leonard asked. Max raised the hammer towards him, and the wizard wannabe flinched. The short schemer chuckled at that.
“Simple, there are adhesives on this motherboard that are clearly non-eco-friendly, since they remain potent after almost a decade of use. As you can see, I’ve applied them directly to the grip, and I can assure you they will not fall apart mid-battle.” Indeed, as he said, the sticky motherboard was stuck to the side of the rubber handle, which acted as a barrier between his hand and the current.
Jasmine kept her eyes on the electrified steel. “But if it gets wet, then it’ll—”
“--It will not get wet. I will make sure of it,” He bitterly replied as Jasmine rolled her eyes.Meanwhile, the Hawks’ discussions were much shorter. “Alright big guy, first thing we’re gonna do is use our weight to push ‘em like we’re movin’ hay.”
“Sounds good to me,” Rodney said. “And uh, that Max guy? He’s all yours. I kinda feel bad I have to fight Jasmine, but…”
As he paused, he eyed Shawn for a second. He returned a pleading gaze, and the farm boy felt a lump in his throat. “...I don’t wanna lose again.”
“Now that’s the spirit!” Sugar slapped him on the back, perhaps a little too hard, and he winced. “How ‘bout you, pretty boy? Got any particular ideas on how to win this thang?”Topher put a hand on his chin, then he snapped his fingers. “I believe I do. First off… ” He raised his rolling pin like a teacher with a ruler. “...Shawn!”
The survivalist yelped. “Y-yes?”
“Sweep the leg.”
“What?”
He groaned. “Look, buddy, take it from me—a fellow cheerleader—once she loses her balance, she’s toast. While she gets her bearings, toss her into the water.”
For a moment, Shawn eyed his weapon of choice—a sturdy stick. “So do I hit her in the leg, or–”
“--Yes!” His voice startled the Bears, even Scarlett, who stood next to him. “I mean… obviously,” He spoke softer. “Just do what I say and it’s an easy win. Even better if you could give her a sprain—”
Then, that damned air horn blasted through the air once more, and the Bears and the Hawks stood at attention. “Time’s up! Shawn, Amy, mosey on over to the dock and get ready to fight!”
Shawn gripped his stick as tight as he could. As he strolled over to the dock, he reminisced about his childhood, and a mantra that was seared into his consciousness; “Blunt objects break bone.” It was something very simple, something that was used to destroy the undead, the brainwashed, or whoever would be sent to track him down. He pushed all those worries to the back of his mind, however, and he focused on the girl who followed his footsteps.
“You’re going down, dirtbag!” Amy said. To his surprise, she had a more formidable weapon in her grasp—a pipe wrench. It had much more heft, and it was easier to wield. When she raised it above her head, he was almost intimidated.
Then, he remembered a trick. He narrowed his gaze and imagined her flesh turning a sickly green, her eyes growing white, and her clothes growing tattered. Even as she spoke, he imagined his target clearly, and his imagination was only boosted by her insolent words. “Hey! Are you even, like, listening to me?” She asked as he slowly approached his side of the dock. When he squatted low and took the stance of a kung-fu master, Amy furrowed her brow.
“Psh. You don’t scare me.”
“Neither do you.”
Chris blared that same air horn. “Begin!”
Amy charged first, and Shawn stood his ground until she was halfway across the dock. When she reached that mark, he charged back. She swung at him once, which he dodged by leaning backwards, and she swung at him once more, but he blocked it with that sturdy pole of his. “Get off!” He shoved her back with all his might, and she fell on her back.
Now, he expected to shove her off the dock—considering her hair hung over the edge of the water, that wouldn’t be a difficult task—but she tucked her knees in. When she kicked upwards, the soles of her shoes planted themselves on his chest, and as he reeled from the blunt force, she used that same momentum to get back on her feet.
“Woah!” Sky said. “A kick up? In a fight? Now I’ve seen everything!”
Sugar held back a grin as Shawn stumbled. “She’s like a got-dang donkey!”
She shot a glare at the farm girl. “I heard that!” And in that short lapse of anger, Shawn’s adrenaline kicked in. He swung low and struck her shin with all his might, and all the contestants felt her pain. “Agh! You prick!” She dropped the wrench, and when she hopped on one leg, he struck again—with a quick sideways shove, she screamed and plummeted into the lake.
“Fuckin’ hell…” Jasmine mumbled. “...he’s good.”
Sky and Dave looked at each other. “So that’s who we’re up against?” Sky’s question would have normally made Dave livid with how redundant it was, but fear overtook his nerdy tendencies.
Dave could only gulp. “I—I guess.”
“And with that, the Hawks draw first blood,” Chris reminded them. As he did so, Amy growled and surfaced from the lake, and she eyed Shawn with renewed rage. He looked back down, but before he could walk away, she grabbed his ankle and pulled him down. “Woah!”
“Hey!” Jasmine cried. Though Shawn surfaced and seemed unharmed, that didn’t stop her attitude. “What’re you doin’? ”
“--If I’m going down, he’s going down with me!” She snarled as she swam to shore, and Shawn got his bearings as he held onto his stick. Luckily, the wood was light enough to also act as a floatie of sorts, so he conserved his energy as he trundled back.
“Dude, you’re a freaking beast!” Rodney grinned as the soggy survivalist wringed his beanie. “I mean—I’m not saying it’s cool to hit girls or whatever—but you totally crushed her!”
Scarlett furrowed her brow at him, but she held her tongue on that. “It seems we’re made of sterner stuff after all. Topher,” She said as she eyed the pretty boy. “Are you ready for battle?”
“You kidding me?” He gripped his rolling pin tight. “I’ve been ready ever since I turned in my audition tape.”
“Great!” Chris butted in. “And with that, let’s continue with the middleweight round—Ella, Leonard, step right up.”
Scarlett and Topher walked down the docks first, and they did it slowly so they could see their opponents’ faces— and their weapons. To their surprise, however, they had none. If they did, they weren’t holding them, because Leonard was deep in persuasion with the lady in pink.“Ella, you have to be armed with something.” He pulled a pipe wrench out of his cloak—courtesy of the various things they scavenged three days ago—but Ella pushed it back to him.
“I don’t want to hurt them.”
“You’re kinda gonna end up doing that anyway.” Chris’ words brought that look to Ella’s face yet again, and as Amy walked back from the lake, she walked a little faster to get out of the singer’s way. “Now let’s get it on, people. The folks at home are waiting!”
“Hand me my wrench.” Those four words made Leonard obey, as they were devoid of any whimsy. It was worthy of a confessional, he thought.
“I couldn’t believe what I’d seen,” The LARPer said. “Is this the same force which she uses to prevent Amy’s shenanigans? This dark, looming force… it is changing her. I must get to the bottom of this.”
For the first time, the Flying Hawks witnessed Ella’s ‘serious face’. She fidgeted around with her wrench, and Scarlett’s eyes looked her up and down; she noticed all these little twitches of tension throughout Ella’s body.“No striking,” She whispered. “Striking will only make it worse.”
Topher nodded, and with that, Chris blew the air-horn. Leonard, who wielded a two-by-four plank, slowly advanced as Ella followed along. As she crept forward, the glint of Amy’s pipe wrench was caught in the corner of her eye, and she considered dual-wielding for a moment. In that moment, she leaned down.
“Now!” Topher shouted. Scarlett leapt forward and tackled Ella like a football player, the weight of her frying pan only adding to the surprise attack. It was enough to snap her out of that strange mindset, and it was also enough to send her to the waters below.
“Ella! You fiends!” Leonard cried. As he did, Topher swung overhead, but he stepped sideways and dodged deftly. When Scarlett tried to strike him down, he leapt away and landed on his feet, his sandals sliding on the planks below. “Fast, but not nearly fast enough!”
A quick as the breeze, he undid his robe and stuck a hand in it. When he pulled out a claw hammer, Scarlett tensed up. “C’mon, you nerd,” Topher taunted. “Fight like a—”
He was interrupted by the flight of a flightless tool. Before anyone could react, the hammer struck Topher’s face, and he could do nothing as gravity took hold.
“What in the world?” Max gasped, as did the rest of the contestants. Topher mumbled as his eyes rolled to the back of his head, and he fell backwards into the lake with an ungracious splash.
“At last!” He pulled out another hammer from his robe—this time a club hammer. “One on one, a true duel for the ages! Are you prepared?”
Scarlett’s eyes darted to her opponent, and then to her teammate. She saw him go underwater, past Ella, but she didn’t say anything. Instead, she raised her frying pan towards him. “I accept your challenge, good sir!”
Ella felt the current go a certain way—the water rippled away from her, towards where Leonard stood his ground. Slowly, but surely, as the two inched closer on the dock, the girl in pink kept her eyes on the thing in the water. For a second, she tried to look to her teammates, but all their eyes were on the two remaining contestants.
“Then duel, we shall!” He grinned widely, and the geek approached the nerd cautiously. Scarlett did the same, occasionally jerking her body sideways to feint, but Leonard did that too, and that somehow caught her off-guard. It was a stand-off.“Whoop his ass, Scarlett!” Sugar shouted. “But not too much, y’hear?” Which got some raised eyebrows from both the Hawks and Chris himself. Before anyone could make any snide remarks, however, Topher surfaced and stabbed the docks above him. Despite wielding only a rolling pin, he punched the board out of its place, and Ella yelped.
“Leonard! Below you!”
“W-what?”
The moment he looked down, he saw two things; the lake, and Topher’s soaked complexion. “This is for my face!”
He jabbed upwards once more, and the tip of the rolling pin struck where the sun never shone.
“Ohh!” The contestants cried. Tears welled up in Leonard’s eyes, too, as the pain from the nut crack broke his posture.
“And this is for my hair!”
The teen heartthrob grabbed his ankles, and in a flash, he was dragged through the gap in the dock. With a splash, the Bears gasped as Chris commentated. “And that’s another round for the Flying Hawks! Jeez, are you guys even trying?”
“Ugh!” Amy groaned. “Why don’t you try to fight on the dock, you dinosaur?”
“Because I have better things to do.”
“So true, Chris!” Topher gladly announced as he dragged Leonard to shore in a headlock. The wannabe wizard coughed and sputtered as he took his breath, and while Ella rushed to his side, the wannabe host continued his spiel. “He didn’t go through hell as a child actor for nothing, isn’t that right?”
Chris’ face sunk. “We do not talk about that.”
Topher followed suit. “Oh. Right…” He trailed off and walked back to his team, and Rodney grinned at him.
“Dude! You totally—”
“--Now that was way too much,” Sugar interjected. “The boy can’t even walk right!”
The other Hawks raised their brows yet again. “Why do you care about him?” Shawn asked. He asked loud enough that the other team heard that, Max especially. He looked to the ground, he looked to the sky, he looked at Sugar and Leonard, and he finally put a hand on his chin.
“I understand it now!” He declared. “You fiend, did you think you could orchestrate falsehoods under my watch? With Sugar by your side?!”
The pageant queen gasped with the Bears. Even Dave couldn’t believe what was going on right now, and he stayed silent as Sugar retorted. “I did no such thang!”
“It makes the most sense!” Max argued. “What better alliance to make than with someone who psychologically destroys her fellow pageant contestants? And more importantly, someone who knows much about me? ”
Sugar had an idea. It was a good idea, but she hated to do it. She shifted her frown to a smug smile, and she looked at Leonard and winked. The wizard’s jaw dropped. “I don’t even know her!” To which the country girl snorted and laughed. While everyone processed the unusual chain of events, Chris prodded them along.
“And with that, let’s move on to the next round, shall we? Sugar and Rodney, versus Jasmine and Max!”
When the boy in purple brought out his electric hammer, however, Scarlett’s eyes widened. She stopped Sugar from walking to the dock. “Hey, what gives?”
“Look,” She whispered. Since Max and Jasmine had their backs turned while they walked, they got a good look at the crude contraption. “Unless you want to risk another round of deadly electrocutions, I suggest you rid yourself of anything metal. Be careful.”
Sugar nodded. “Gotcha. Mind holdin’ this?” She didn’t wait for a reply and handed the girl her crowbar, and when she cracked her knuckles, she gestured Rodney to follow along. “Now, leave Maxie to me. Got that?”

“You bet,” Rodney said. He held his half-cut wooden log with confidence, and across from them, Jasmine gripped her crowbar the same way. Max kept one hand on his hammer while the other was balled up in a fist, and for a second, the two stared each other down. Max wondered why Sugar didn’t have any weapons, but then he remembered something.
“Watch out for little miss piggy over there,” He whispered. “Her strength is not to be underestimated.”
“Got it,” The Aussie nodded. Then, almost on-cue, Chris blew the air horn. With that blast of noise, the country duo sprinted across the dock, and their combined weight made the wood shake in place. “Bloody hell!” Jasmine called out. “Stand your ground!”
Then, for whatever reason, Max disobeyed her. “For vengeance!” He cried, and when he reached Sugar, he swung that electric hammer like his life depended on it. Left, right, up and down, Max flailed so wildly that Sugar backed off—but little did he know that each step was deliberate. “What’s wrong? Afraid of a little shock?”
She saw the gap in the wood—the gap which Topher made—and flopped to the ground. The dock rattled once more, and the others were knocked off their feet, but not into the water. The same could not be said for Sugar’s hand.
“I dunno, Maxie…” She pulled her arm out of the lake as she eyed her nemesis. While he lied down, hammer in hand, he laid there as his eyes widened. “...are you?”
With a flick of her arm, the waters of Pahkitew Lake splashed onto Max’s hand, and what followed was a familiar light show. Once more, his body twitched and struggled to control itself as his muscles contracted and gripped the hammer even harder.
“Oh my God! You’re gonna kill him!” Amy cried. The Bears didn’t question her sudden change in morals, especially when she turned to Chris. “Chris, isn’t this illegal or something?!”
“Eh,” He shrugged. “It’s just some batteries, he’ll be fine. The shocks won’t last forever, y’know.” As he said that, Sugar punted him off the dock, and the two farm kids eyed Jasmine with renewed interest. “Well? What’re you waiting for, get those points, people!”
“I’m sorry, Jasmine, but—” Rodney couldn’t even finish his sentence, let alone the swing of his log, as Jasmine sent a long right hook towards his face. The punch knocked him straight into the waters, but since he fell in the same spot where Max did, the short schemer grabbed hold of him and avoided drowning. Sugar seethed.
“That’s it!” She cracked her knuckles again. “You’re goin’ down, missy!”
Jasmine kicked Sugar in the shin, and once more, both teams felt her pain. “Ow! You little—” She was interrupted by an incoming boot, but Sugar caught it with two hands. The survivalist, along with her team, gasped as she was lifted off the ground, and to everyone’s shock the titanic Aussie was tossed over Sugar’s shoulder.
“A suplex?!” Sky screamed. When Jasmine’s body struck the dock, the wood shook once more, and loud cracks filled the air. The wind was knocked out of her lungs as her back felt the full force of Sugar’s strength, and she bounced off the floor like a ragdoll.“God-damn right it’s a suplex!” Sugar flexed her muscles. “And that’s what’cha get!” She pointed down at Jasmine, who grumbled and adjusted her hat. When the country diva attempted to grab her leg, however, she did something rather familiar. With all her might, she sent the soles of her boots towards her abdomen, and like a giant spring, Jasmine shot upwards—and Sugar shot over the water like a cannonball.
“Hey! Holy shit!” Amy blurted, but this time with a smile. “That’s my move!” But the smile was wiped off her face the moment lake water drenched her whole team. “Ew!”“And that’s one point for the Bears!” Chris said. “ Finally. But if you guys wanna win, you’re gonna have to do that two more times— and since the Hawks are two points in, well… the math speaks for itself.”
“May I ask…” Leonard hung his wet robe on a branch. All of the tools he brought were on the ground and he was left standing in a tank top and some shorts. “...Who will battle next?”
Chris had that evil grin on his face yet again. His beady little eyes scanned the Hawks and the Bears, and they soon focused on Sky and Dave. “Hey, you two haven’t had your turns yet. How about you step up and fight Shawn… together?” The contestants gasped. “No way!” Rodney called out. “We are not getting cheated out of another reward ‘cause you changed the rules again. No sir!”
“I wasn’t asking you, genius.” Chris shot a deadly glare at the farm boy.
“But he’s right.” Sky walked up to him, and Max, who was too tired to walk, tried to shout something under his breath—but his vocal cords were fried. “I wanna win this fair and square. ” She turned to face her teammates, specifically Amy, who had her mouth open. “And no, I am not cheating again. It feels wrong. If I lose, it’s on me.”
Chris’ glare vanished, and in its place was an excited grin. “Are you sure? One-on-one with Pahkitew Island’s strongest doomsday prepper?”
For a moment, Sky looked at Shawn, who stretched his neck as Sugar massaged his shoulders. Then, she turned and looked at her team—and Jasmine gave her a nod of approval. “You got this, Sky.”
“Okay,” She exhaled shakily. “I’m going in.”
Leonard clapped. “This battle shall be legendary!” He hollered. “Two combatants of equal strength and speed—trained in different circumstances—who shall reign supreme?”
Then, from the other side, Topher pitched in. “Will it be the Olympic hopeful, with a deadly iron grip, or will it be the zombie-slaying prodigy?”
“Zombie-slaying?” Jasmine raised a brow. Shawn did too.
“Hey, I never told you that!” The prepper shot a glare at the preppy boy, who stumbled over his words.
“Uh… look man, that’s the vibes I got from you, okay? Now start the fight already.”
“You said it, Topher.” Chris grinned, and with that, the two returned to the docks. When they were all settled, Chris delayed the start as Shawn noticed something.
“Wait, where’s your weapon?” He asked. In response, she raised her calloused hands. “Oh, right. Iron grip.”
The airhorn blasted their ears, and the two sprinted forward. It was at this moment when Shawn realized he made a grave mistake—by the time he realized it, it was too late. Sky didn’t sprint to tackle him, punch him or shove him—she sprinted to perform a gymnastics routine. By the time he swung his stick, she was off the ground, and time slowed down as Sky flipped over his head, and with the same timing she used to grab onto the hanging rings, she grabbed Shawn’s jacket. That was all it took, and while she landed, the survivalist was lifted off his feet—and in another split-second, she tossed him off the dock.
The teams were aghast. The first to clap, to everyone’s shock, was Amy. “Holy crap! REVEEENGE!”
It led to a roaring cheer from the Bears—and while Sky blushed sheepishly and bowed to her teammates, Shawn looked around as he swam to the Hawks. “W-what happened? That was so…”
“Sudden?” Scarlett said. The survivalist nodded, and the Hawks sighed. Topher, however, he had a look on his face that nearly made the mask slip. His eyes were on Sky, and when he took another breath, he snapped his fingers.
“Meeting. Now.”
They gathered in a circle once more, and they listened to Topher’s voice. You didn’t need to be Scarlett to notice that something was off. “We are one point away from winning our first challenge and I will not just sit here and watch us lose.” He whispered through gritted teeth, and the air around the Hawks grew heavier. “The next round, I’m pretty sure, is gonna be another middleweight round. Scarlett, do not hold back, I swear—”
“--Y-yes,” She stammered. “Yes, Topher. No more holding back.”
“Good.”
As they broke out of the huddle, Scarlett looked at her teammates for any words for what just happened. Sugar tugged at her sweater and pulled her aside. “He got a split personality or somethin’?” Though her analysis was scientifically inaccurate, Scarlett shrugged.
“Not a bad guess.”
“Alright!” Chris said. “We’re down to our last point. I kinda wanna spice it up a little and see how bad you guys really wanna win this thing…” He looked at the Hawks, and his eyes were right on Topher’s face. Luckily, by then, he could cover that less-than-marketable side of him. “...Topher! I’m gonna give you another chance at revenge. Against Leonard.”
“What?” The wizard without a robe said, and Chris nodded.
“Yup! One on one. Just like the last one.”
Dave realized something and raised his hand. “Wait! I haven’t had a—”
“--Quiet!” Chris snapped. “You’ll get to shine tomorrow, when there aren’t any weight classes to deal with. For now, I wanna see this feud go down.”
Max tapped the magician’s shoulder, and he handed him a hammer. This time, it didn’t have any wires on it. “As much as I hate to admit it, you’re our only hope. Perhaps you have some magic that could aid in this battle?”
“Hmm, I’m afraid this is an affair of flesh. And bone. And metal.” He swung the hammer for emphasis, and Max gave him a stern nod. “No arcane arts for this battle.”
“Sorry, viewers at home,” Leonard spoke as he tightened his robe. “But I’m afraid my magic hasn’t quite found its place on a wild, dangerous island such as this. If we found ourselves in a more contemporary setting—then I might’ve been able to show some tricks— but in this case, the only trick I have are my reflexes… and my sleight of hand.” He pulled out a screwdriver from his robe, and after a clap of his hands, it disappeared into thin air. Then, the camera picked up a clank, and Leonard grimaced as he picked up the screwdriver from the ground.
“It’s a work in progress.”“Whatever, wizard guy.” Topher scoffed and he walked to the dock, rolling pin in hand. “Let’s do this.”
Leonard, who stood there without his robe, gripped his club hammer tightly. When Chris blew the horn, the two charged forward. Their charge slowed down, however, when the dock shook from side to side.
“Woah!” Topher stumbled back, and a few planks fell into the lake. Leonard stopped too, and the sound of cracking wood echoed in the air. When he realized it, it was too late, and the dock collapsed beneath him. The Bears could only watch in horror as their local wizard boy joined the debris of the mock-Dock of Shame, and while he was mixed in with the fragments of wood, Chris happily ended the challenge. “And for the first time this season, The Flying Hawks win!” To which the Hawks hollered at the top of their lungs. Topher was so excited that he tossed his rolling pin into the lake and swam back to shore, all the while Leonard limped back to the sandy beach.
“Sorry, guys,” He said, the wizard-ness of his voice stripped away. “I guess it was bad luck.” Soon after, they winced at the sound of the whole dock falling into the lake.
Jasmine, however, brushed it off and put a hand on his shoulder. “Look, if Sugar didn’t do that bloody wrestling move, it probably would’ve ended differently.”
Just the mention of her name made his heart race. “And for the record, I have no idea what she’s talking about,” He gestured to the enemy team, who were busy fawning over their fishing supplies. “We only talked once, and that was when we found those mattresses. Right, Dave?”
Dave had an idea. He didn’t like it, but it was a good idea. For a moment, he wondered if Ella would like it, but then he realized that wondering did him no good—he had to execute it now.
“Uh—” He paused. “--Y-yeah, we did run into them. But now that I think about it, she was acting kind of… flirty.”
Leonard’s mouth was agape. “She was?”
“She did look at you… in a certain way,” Ella added, much to Dave’s surprise. While the Bears looked at each other in a hasty attempt to process this information, someone jumped the gun.
“So you were telling the truth!” Amy pointed at the robe-less wizard, but Leonard stood his ground.
“The truth is, this Sugar lady is clearly trying to set me up,” He said, and his wizard-like voice appeared once more. “Attempting to sow the seeds of doubt, which will only sprout into further conflict that can only tear our team apart.”
Amy had an idea, for once. “Or maybe you did have something with Miss Piggy over there… and maybe it didn’t work out, and maybe that’s why she’s burning her bridges right in front of us. You know, as a warning?”
“Woah, wait a minute.” Sky stepped in. “I don’t know about that. Let’s just think about this before we do anything, okay? We still have hours before we cast our votes, so let’s all just take five. Got it?”
“Yeah, sounds about right,” Jasmine said, her eyes shifting side-to-side. For a moment, she eyed Amy, who glared at Leonard, while their local magic man walked away to retrieve his robe. While the Hawks relished in their victory, the Bears slowly left the lake with their heads down. From a distance, Sugar looked at the enemy team with an evil grin, and even as she hugged the air out of Rodney’s lungs, her mind raced with thoughts of plans—plans she needed to talk about.
“Them Falling Bears won’t know what hit ‘em!” She cackled as she sat in the outhouse. “First off, you got Jasmine goin’ head-over-heels for Shawn over here, and second—they think Leonard and I are a thang!” She snorted. “I mean, if we were on the same team, I think we would’ve gotten along very nicely. Unfortunately, we ain’t. Now, as much as I’d like to try and make a deal with ‘im, I don’t think he’s got the heart to double-cross his own team—kinda like Rodney, y’know—he’s got a real pure soul. Now, that ain’t a bad thing, but in a competition? It’s kind of a liability.”
Hours later, underneath the Falling Bears’ treehouse, Dave sat with his back against the trunk, and his eyes at the sky. With their meager dinner completed, everyone went off to do things of their own, and that included him. Everyone else thought he was merely resting, but when he looked at the stars in the night sky, he imagined his teammates’ faces in their place. Indeed, it was a star chart of his own creation, a creation that no one else could see—a chart of their dynamics. ‘Organization is key,’ he thought to himself as he calculated the next best possible move. His eyes were glued to a hole in the treeline that allowed him that night-sky view, but the angle also meant that he’d see something else —Jasmine’s boot.
“Oi, Dave,” She said as she climbed down. He snapped out of his plans and moved aside. “Sorry ya didn’t get to participate. I bet that speed of yours woulda’ gotten Shawn all rattled up— ah, but then again, he’s got some catlike reflexes and all.”
“Y-yeah, I probably would’ve… ended up like those zombies Topher talked about.” As he spoke, he remembered something and jumped at the chance. “Hey, by the way—speaking of zombies, have you seen any zombie movies? You could probably talk to Shawn about them, like, whenever you’re hanging out. Maybe he could nerd out about how real or fake they are.”
“Oh, right!” She snort-laughed, and that lightened the mood. “Thanks, mate. But zombie movies aren’t really my thing… maybe I should ask him for some recs. But I can’t help but wonder, how’d Topher know about it?”
Dave shrugged. “Maybe… maybe he looked us up online? It’s not like scouting on social media’s totally unheard of.”
“I dunno if Shawn’s even got an internet connection . If he doesn’t trust toothpaste, I doubt he’d trust anything posted online.”
“Fair point,” He said. “Gosh, that raises even more questions, doesn’t it?”
“Sure does.” She nodded. “Speakin’ a’ questions… who’re you votin’ off tonight?”
“I… haven’t decided.” He feigned the best he could. “I didn’t think we were gonna lose… but I guess I was wrong. All I know is, if it’s not gonna be Amy, it’s gonna be me.” He frowned and sighed, and Jasmine knelt down to his level. When she put a hand on his shoulder, his heart raced a little.
“Look, you’re not going home, alright? You gotta have a chance to shine. And I don’t think that, um… that sand incident counts as a shining moment, right?”
Dave chuckled nervously, and he forced a smile. “Y-yeah. That was… kinda embarrassing.”
She leaned in and whispered. “So let’s just vote for Amy and call it a night. I’m sure the rest of us want her off anyhow.”
His eyes darted up at the treehouse to make sure there was no one there. Then, he caught a glimpse of the stars in the sky. They were so close to being aligned, he thought. “Uh… where’s Max? I think I should talk to him about the whole Leonard situation. ‘Cause, you know… he might actually think he’s with Sugar or something.”
“Ugh, you’re right.” She facepalmed. “I’ll leave you to it. Gotta take a piss.”
He reeled back. “O…okay. I’ll just—yeah.” He went up the treehouse without another word, and as his heart pounded, he practiced in his mind what he’d say to Max. He practiced again and again with every step, and when he reached the top, he expected to see his target—but instead, he saw something much worse.
Ella and Leonard sat next to each other inside the treehouse, and she clapped and giggled as he did some sort of magic routine. It was already bad enough that Leonard was taller, more confident, more athletic than Dave was, but now, he tread onto a place where Dave staked his claim—Ella’s heart. Any other normal person would have seen that magic routine as something harmless, but as everyone on the island would soon come to realize, Dave was far from normal.
He tried his hardest to hold back, especially when he saw Amy and Max leaning against the balcony. Both their eyes peered through the windowsill and right at Leonard’s sleight of hand display, and he overheard their whispers. “I do not like this,” Max said. “First, he fraternizes with my greatest nemesis, and then he tries to win her over at the last moment? What is this, some sort of cheap trick for a vote?”
“Ugh, he’ll do anything to cover up that Sugar incident,” Amy whispered back. “I can’t believe he went behind our backs.”
Dave smiled. He realized he was showing his teeth, and he wiped the smile off his face. “Hey, guys,” He whispered as he approached the two. “You guys voting for Leonard, too?”
“Of course we are,” The twin in red said. “Working with the enemy team is, like, a total fox pass in any Total Drama season.”
“Fox… pass?” Dave asked.Max grumbled. “It’s faux pas,” To which Amy glared at him for a bit, but his words shut her up. “But regardless, I believe there is a slight problem with our plans to evict the traitor—our votes combined only total to three. Assuming the rest are united in their vote against Amanda here—”
“--Which I still think is totally bogus, by the way—” Amy interrupted, but Max continued.
“Then she will go home, regardless of what we do. We are simply outnumbered by Jasmine, Sky, Ella and Leonard. Unless, somehow, any of us can possibly convert their vote to something else, then we will lose a seriously valuable asset for any upcoming physical challenges.” He gestured to Amy, who posed with a smug smile, a hand on her hip. Dave tried his best to not groan in disdain, but Max’s words did remind him of someone else.
“Okay, you make a good point,” Dave replied. “Look, I’ll see what I can do with Sky. Where is she, anyway?”
“Uh…” The villainous duo eyed each other, and they looked around as they leaned on the wooden rail. Dave joined them, and as their eyes shifted left and right, they tried their hardest to spot anything vaguely beige in a sea of green and brown. They didn’t need to look for long, as a loud belch echoed throughout the quiet forest.
“That way,” Amy pointed towards the treeline. “Ugh, at least she didn’t do it in our faces this time. She seriously needs to see a stomach doctor. A stomatologist.”
Max and Dave looked at each other, completely baffled by her confidence. Dave just turned away and went towards Sky; he figured Max could handle her well enough.
“Stupid… berries.” Sky mumbled under her breath as she keeled over the waters of Pahkitew Lake. For the first time, the waters were tainted, and she sighed as she saw her breakfast and dinner floating away in the tide. She was shaky as she stood up, so much so that she found herself stumbling out of the sand—and to her shock, she lost her footing.
“Ah!” She fell face-down onto the grassy dunes, and while she spat out the grains, someone came to help her.
“Sky? Sky!” Dave cried out. Suddenly, her energy came back as he approached her, and she managed to at least kneel on the sand. To her surprise, Dave grabbed her hand and helped her up. When he did, however, his concern only worsened. “Is that… vomit?”
Sky looked down at her tank top—indeed, there was a darker beige stain on the cream fabric—and she sighed. “Y-yeah. I… I think I’m allergic to some of the berries you guys are scavenging. It makes my stomach—”
“--Oh, God.” Dave winced. “Which ones?”
“I think the blueberries? Or was it the blackberries? I don’t know, I’m just—I’m so tired, Dave. I just puked my guts out.”
“Okay, okay… calm down, Dave…” He mumbled to himself, and Sky eyed him weirdly. “...Alright. We still have some spare electrolyte juice in the treehouse. I think you need that right now. Uh, that and a quick bath maybe.”
“Yeah.”
Then, Dave blushed like he never blushed before—Sky lifted her tank top right off her chest, and he stood there, gawking. He was only slightly disappointed when he realized that she wore a black sports bra underneath. “I’ll just give this a quick—”
“--No!” He grabbed the shirt, but he made sure to grab the part that wasn’t soiled. “Sky, you need to sit down. Catch your breath. I’ll do the washing.”
“Oh! That’s… thank you.” She smiled at his kindness, but she smiled even more with the way he frantically dashed over the sand. He truly did move like a lizard, and that at least brought a load off her chest. Before she could comment on his speed, however, he was already walking back with her shirt, completely stainless. “What? Already?”
“I found a rock, and I let friction do the rest. And… I think the sun can just disinfect this one.” Dave chuckled and handed the shirt back, and she sheepishly smiled.“Seriously, Dave, you’re a Godsend. How’d you know I was out here, anyways?”Dave almost answered, but she spoke first. “Wait. Was it my burp?”
“Yeah, pretty much.”
The two exchanged a little laughter as they left Pahkitew Lake behind. That laughter, the help, the intimate circumstances—it made Dave’s heart race. He couldn’t believe he’d gotten this far. He just needed to execute the plan.
“But, uh… I was actually looking for you for something else. It’s about Leonard. I… I need to get it off my chest.”
Sky stopped in her tracks. “Wait. Are you trying to get him off the show?”
“I— yes. But it’s because he’s trying to tear our team apart, okay?”
She gasped, and he hushed her with a finger over his mouth. “Wait wait wait, what’d he do?” She whispered.
“The way Sugar and Leonard spoke to each other, they weren’t just kinda flirty… I’m pretty sure they knew each other even before the show began! I mean, either that or they really got busy during our downtime—but look, Sky, the point is that you cannot trust Leonard. Not one word. You know why? ‘Cause he’s a good actor, that’s why. Why do you think he’s into live-action roleplay and stuff—it’s perfect practice! And now, he’s got Ella— freaking Ella— fooled into thinking that he’s the good guy!” He almost let the mask slip at the last moment, but Sky hushed him back.
“Okay! Okay.” She sighed. “Honestly, I was gonna vote for Amy… but…”
As she tried to come up with another word, Dave patiently waited. No schemes should ever be rushed, he thought. Eventually, after a few seconds, his patience paid off. “...At least Amy’s honest. She really grinds my gears, and she really needs to learn to be more polite, but… she’s up front. She’s not gonna lie to us.”“Exactly,” Dave said. “So it’s settled?”
Sky reluctantly nodded.
Later that evening, the Falling Bears found themselves in the Pahkitew Plains, where the artillery cannon awaited them. Chris stood there with several bags of trail mix on a tray, and he spotted Sky sipping on some familiar juice. “Huh. You guys actually saved those?”
“It’s a good thing we did,” Jasmine said. “Turns out Sky here’s allergic to blueberries. She’s gotta rehydrate.”
“Oh!” Chris blinked. “Good to know. Anyways, I got the votes from the confessional. They’re all tallied up, and we’re running out of time, so I’ll cut to the chase. Everyone except Leonard, grab some trail mix.”
“WHAT?!” His voice didn’t stop some of his teammates from claiming their snacks, but it certainly stopped Ella’s. She grimaced as he ranted at his team. “You fools! You’ve fallen for Sugar’s lies! I can’t believe this! I ought to—”
“--Excuse me, Leonard,” Max interrupted. “But as the person who has been feuding with her since we were adequately toilet trained, she rarely lies. It was far too obvious.”
He stomped his foot. “This is preposterous! ”
“Oh, dear…” Ella gulped. She grabbed Leonard’s shoulder, and when she hugged him, most of the Bears looked on in disgust. Jasmine and Sky, however, they felt bad for their own reasons.
“Leonard, before you go, I must thank you for being a good friend. I’m very sorry it had to end like this.”
“I, too, am quite sorry.” He sighed, and he tightened the robe around his waist. “Alas, every journey must come to an end. Even if it is… dubiously ended. Farewell, everyone.”
Only Ella, Sky and Jasmine bothered to wave back. Everyone else was too busy eating their trail mix, and by the time he boarded the cannon, Ella had tears in her eyes. Though she grabbed her trail mix, she didn’t open it, and instead grabbed Dave’s arm. His eyes widened in surprise when she pulled him closer, and he hastily hugged her back.
“I’ll miss him, Dave… such a pure soul.”
He nodded and patted her back, and she sobbed onto his shoulder. “There, there… he’ll be okay.”
Once more, the two de facto leaders had their eyes on the hugging couple; Sky smiled, but Jasmine hesitated. Not even the cannon blasting Leonard into the starry night broke her gaze towards her supposed wingman, and she watched Dave close his eyes as he comforted the local singer.
Jasmine had eyes like a hawk. She caught a smirk at the corner of his lips.
She wouldn’t forget that.

PAHKITEW ISLAND INITIATIVE

[LIST OF SUBJECTS]

FLYING HAWKS: RODNEY, SCARLETT, SHAWN, SUGAR, TOPHER

FALLING BEARS: AMY, DAVE, ELLA, JASMINE, MAX, SKY

ELIMINATIONS: BEARDO, SAMMY, LEONARD.

ELIMINATION STATUS: SAMMY & BEARDO, ACCLIMATED TO SURROUNDINGS. ESTIMATED TIME OF ARRIVAL, LEONARD, 21:00.

[END OF SUMMARY]

[STATUS UPDATE]

RELAY INSTRUCTIONS TO SECONDARY SERVER. ADJUST SCHEDULE ACCORDINGLY. INITIATE BORING PROTOCOLS.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Jasmine wanted to shout at Dave right then and there, right when Leonard left the island. The problem was, everyone was utterly exhausted from fighting, foraging, and food sickness, and she felt just as fatigued as the rest of them. As they walked back to their base, it was suspiciously quiet. Not even Max or Amy could muster up any stupid side comments, and Dave was occupied by Ella’s sullen state. That left Sky, who slowly sipped on her bottle of electrolytes, and all of this led the usually-brash Aussie to take the path of silence. She had to—she thought of herself as this team’s leader, since she knew the most about surviving in the wilderness, and if she had another outburst, maybe she would’ve been a prime target for elimination.
These thoughts brought her mind to their team’s first boot. She wondered how gullible her teammates were, and more importantly, she wondered why Dave smirked. Out of all the reactions, it was that devilish hint of treachery that he picked, and now Jasmine had an idea of what was going on inside this timid kid’s brain.
She would have to wait. By the time they reached the treehouse, she stood in front of their campfire and caught their attention. “Oi, listen up. We might’ve lost, but we were pretty fuckin’ close to winning each of those rounds. Starting tomorrow, we can’t hold back—if Sugar wants to play dirty, then we should start doing the same.”
“What?” Sky asked. “But—”
“--I agree!” Max interrupted. “Trust me, I’ve come to know her mind quite well—she is ruthless in competition, and even more ruthless when nobody is watching. And, frankly, Chris’s ‘rules’ are so vague that perhaps… there is a lot of creative freedom to be had.”
“I second that,” Amy added. “Oh, and by the way? If I see that zombie guy again, he’s mine.”
Jasmine flared her nostrils. “You better be careful.”
She scoffed and climbed up the treehouse. “Whatever.”
While Max and Sky reluctantly followed suit, the survivalist shook her head and turned to Ella, who was remarkably silent. She stuck to Dave quite closely, even up to now. “You alright?”
She sniffled. “Poor Leonard… I thought he would’ve made it farther, but… oh, why did it have to be him?” There it was, Dave thought—that puppy-dog expression. It was the first time Jasmine witnessed it, but little did Dave know that it would bite him back sooner than expected.
“Well, Ella, I suppose they thought he was stiff competition,” She said, looking at Dave for a second. “To be fair, he’s a pretty swift guy. But look at the bright side—he’s relaxing in whatever place they sent him to.”
“Oh, yes, Red Lake,” Ella beamed. “You’re right. He’ll be just fine, I suppose…” She trailed off for a moment before looking at Dave, who looked at Jasmine weirdly, and when the Aussie returned that look to the nerd, Ella walked to the treehouse. “...Well, I should be going. Good night!”
“Night, Ella,” Jasmine said.
“Good night!” Dave smiled.
When she was out of their sight, Jasmine put a hand on him. “We need to talk,” She whispered. “Now.”
She didn’t wait for his response—she dragged him away from the camp, and he tried his best to not make a sound as he was lifted off the ground and planted behind a bush. When Jasmine squatted down to his level, his heart raced. It raced even further when she spoke her mind. “You’re a selfish bastard, aren’t ya?”
“W-what? What’re you talking about?”
“We were supposed to vote for Amy. Remember?”
“Well…” He paused and tried to think of something. “...about that, Amy and Max are kind of in an alliance right now, and they wanted Leonard out of here. I tried my best to convince them to not fall for Sugar’s trap, but I couldn’t do anything about that, so… I joined them.”
“What?”
“Shh!” He hushed her. “Look, I know it sounds stupid, but between you and me? I’d rather have Amy on the team because we can at least know that she’s never gonna lie. Because she’s too stupid. Leonard, on the other hand?”
“The fuck does it matter,” She retorted. “You already booted him off. And I think you did it because he was getting in your way.”
Dave’s heart stopped for a second. This was not part of the plan. Now, he had to improvise, and improvise he did. He gritted his teeth and pulled Jasmine closer, and he whispered into her ear with seething rage. “I did it because that slippery bastard tried to rope Ella into Sugar’s alliance!”
She gasped. “What?”
“Yeah. I overheard him sweet-talking her like usual—I mean, did you notice that he was always hanging out with her? Anyways, he was getting on her good side, and then I remember him saying something about using her voice for the competition, saying that she’d be totally useful past merge—and then Max and Amy called him out for it. Subterfuge, that’s what Max told him. They didn’t know I was already awake when they were arguing, and Leonard had no idea what was coming. No one messes with Ella. She is not his pawn. She is mine.”
Those last three words were said with a little too much anger, but Dave didn’t care. He got his point across.
“Dave, you gotta calm down.”
His face sunk. “Sorry. I just… I couldn’t stand it. He was gonna use her and there wasn’t anything I could say to convince her otherwise. So I helped vote him off.”
Jasmine squinted for a second. “Alright, I getcha. But next time, if you’re gonna do all this, tell me first. I don’t like sneaky types. Got it?”
“Y-yeah, of course. Full disclosure.” He nodded.
“ Great,” Dave sighed in the confessional. “Now that Jasmine wants in on whatever I’m doing, I need a change of plans. I don’t think I can keep lying to her for too long—she’s got this aura of intimidation or something. If I want someone out, I’m gonna need to make their elimination painfully obvious. Like, so obvious that Jasmine could clearly see why I want them out.”
He sat there and pondered for a moment. “I think I have an idea.”
Later that night, unknown to Dave, Jasmine sat in the confessional long after the Bears went to bed.
“I’m not sure I can trust Dave as much as I wanted to,” She said. “All I know is he’ll do anything for Ella, even if it means… well, all that talking behind my back. I gotta put a stop to this. More importantly, I gotta check if his story lines up. As much as I hate Amy, Dave is right—she’s too dumb to lie. If there’s anyone who can confirm what happened last morning, it’s gotta be her.”
The next morning, Pahkitew Lake had two new visitors—the two Hawks who were wired to wake up at six in the morning.
Sugar followed Shawn to the beach, fishing supplies in both their hands, and as the sun came up on the other side of the lake, Shawn found a good spot for both of them—a giant stone next to the tide.
“So, can I assume that you know what you’re doing?” As he prepared the fishing line, she cracked open their bait box—which had lures both dead and alive. For a moment, she considered her options, but she soon impaled a wiggling worm on the end of her hook.
“Look, my gran’pappy took me fishin’ all the dang time, so don’t you worry your pretty little head.” Then, to Shawn’s surprise, she winded back and flicked her rod towards the water—and with the soft sound of water dropping, her hook was in the lake.“See? Easy as pie.”
“I see,” He said, and he followed suit—but he casted his line with a synthetic lure, and somewhere much further. For a moment, the two sat there on the large stone, only accompanied by birdsong and the occasional call of the wild—sometimes a bear roaring, but when a howl echoed in their ears, Shawn clenched his fishing rod.
“Since when were there wolves on this island?”
“Oh, calm down, ya scaredy-cat,” She scoffed. “Them wolves sounded like they were across the lake. I doubt they could swim all the way out here, since the water’s too deep and all that.”
He sighed in relief. “Fair point.”
The silence crept back again, and while they waited for a bite or two, Sugar fidgeted with her thumbs. She ran the script in her mind several times now—and if there was a time to continue her plan, it was right now. So, she took the chance and cleared her throat.
“Apologies for suplexin’ your girlfriend, by the way. ”
“Huh?” His head turned on a dime. “Oh, right… I hope she didn’t kick you too hard.”She scoffed. “Ah, hell. She kicks like a mule—and I’ve had my fair share of rodeos, if ya know what I’m sayin’.” As she nudged him with an elbow, he nodded back. “But I gotta tell ya, she’s a real fighter, just like you– no doubt about it. I reckon once we hit the merge, the three of us together? We’ll be like a force a’ nature.”“Maybe,” He said, and the way he said it broke Sugar’s confidence. “But I have a feeling some people on our team realize how strong we are. Like that Topher guy, he thinks he’s better than us… and I know he doesn’t like me because he can’t handle seeing someone outperforming him. I mean, the guy’s a former cheerleader. I know how they operate—total narcissism. ”
As he reeled his line back and casted again, Sugar took notes. “Yeah, I get it. I tell ya, some girls I meet at the pageants? They puke their darn guts out ‘cause they don’t wanna look all big and chunky, like that’s a bad thing? Like, come on, live a little—besides, I know some of them judges like ‘em big.”
Shawn slowly turned his head. “What?”
As Sugar realized what she said, the world threw her a bone—she spotted someone in the distance. Someone incredibly tall, and someone incredibly average. “Hey, ain’t that Jasmine and Amy?” She whispered.
He nearly dropped his rod and gasped, then he tried his best to stay quiet. “What are they talking about?” He asked as Jasmine crossed her arms and nodded while Amy gesticulated wildly—even from the other side of the beach, it was clear she had a lot on her mind. “Must be something important.”
Sugar squinted. She watched as Jasmine put a hand on her chin and replied to the twin in red. “Must be somethin’ secret, too—why’re they all the way out here when they could’ve just talked about it ‘round their campfire?”
“Good point,” Shawn added. “If I had to guess? Could be something to do with their elimination.”
“Could be—OH! I GOT A BITE!” She made sure to shout at the top of her lungs, and Shawn’s heart sank as, indeed, Sugar found some resistance at the end of her line—and Jasmine and Amy turned to face them. “Oooh, it’s a big ‘un! Shawn, gimme a hand here!”
He hesitated. He hesitated even harder when he looked back at Jasmine, who waved at him. He waved back, but as he did, Sugar was dragged off the rock they sat on. Her feet left a trail in the sand as she was pulled to the tide. “Shawn? SHAWN!”
“Ah!” He sprung into action and dropped his line, and while the two wrangled whatever bit down on Sugar’s hook, the two Bears on the other side of the beach had something else to discuss.
“Excuse me, why’d you wave at him like that?” Amy scowled.
“What?” Jasmine scowled back, and she saw a lot of fight in that girl’s eyes—like a Chihuahua barking at a Great Dane—so she took the hint. “What’re you talking about?”
“That was totally not a polite, out-of-obligation wave. Like, I thought you were gonna barely acknowledge mister homeless-guy, especially since he’s part of the enemy team, but you didn’t hesitate, like, at all. That was a totally friendly wave. Is there something you’re not telling me?”
As Sugar and Shawn struggled to pull their catch in, Jasmine’s heart pounded. “Look. You’ve been honest to me, so I’ll be honest to you. The truth is, Shawn and I… we kinda like each other.”
“What?! Ew!”
“What do ya mean ‘ew’?!”
“Why him? Why not that Topher guy?”
Jasmine leaned down and Amy stepped back as the Aussie gave that signature death stare. “First of all, I got a peculiar taste in men. Second of all, he’s also a survivalist, so we’re practically on the same page.”
‘Same page’. Those two words triggered something in Amy’s mind, something that stopped her urge to bully. Instead, it urged her to realize something. “Wait. Oh my God, you’re in an alliance with him, aren’t you?!”
“W-what? No!” Jasmine pleaded; her accusation broke her deathly gaze, and she felt a pit in her stomach as her teammate ranted.“I can’t believe this! You… You’d do anything to join him in the merge, wouldn’t you? Like, how else are you two gonna get together… unless you both get eliminated!”
She walked up to her and pointed a finger in her face. “And I know you really wouldn’t want that. So what the hell are you gonna do about it?”
Then, as if the producers threw her a bone, the sound of Chris’s voice echoed through the air once more. “Gooood morning, Pahkitew Island!” He announced so enthusiastically. Jasmine and Amy covered their ears and wondered where the hell those speakers came from.
“In a few minutes, I’ll be deploying the flares, again. Do follow them A.S.A.P.—’cause it’s challenge time!”
‘Challenge time.’ Those two words echoed in Jasmine’s mind, and she exhaled sharply. “I’ll tell you what I’m gonna do—I’m not gonna let this team lose. You got it?”
While that brought a determined smile to Amy’s face, the rest of the contestants groaned as loud as they could, except for Topher—he giggled excitedly. Scarlett noticed that and side-eyed him. “What?” He said. “What’s wrong with a little enthusiasm?”
“Look, I get waking up early to do some hard work,” Rodney said as he rubbed his eyes and leaned against their cabin’s walls. “But you just wanna see Chris again, you kiss-ass.”
Scarlett tried to hide her laughter, but she was too freshly-awoken to put on her mask, and she ended up cackling. Topher shot her a look, which did absolutely nothing, then peered right into Rodney’s beady little eyes. “You take that back!”
“Listen dude, whenever Chris is nearby, you can’t keep your eyes off him.” The more he spoke, the more Topher’s mask slipped. “Now, I’m not really a lovey-dovey guy, but if there’s anything Sugar taught me—”
“--Wait!” Scarlett interrupted. “Where are those two?” She pointed to Sugar and Shawn’s beds, which had nothing on them. Topher’s rage settled before it could explode in Rodney’s face, and he scanned the room with them. He tried to spot anything missing, but in his early-morning stupor, he couldn’t quite tell that their prize from yesterday was missing from its corner.
Scarlett did. “Fishing,” She said. “I hope we could rendezvous at the flare.”“Ron-day-voo?” Rodney asked. “What’s that?”
“Jesus, dude,” Topher shook his head. “I may be a kiss-ass, but at least I’m not stupid.”
Scarlett grimaced, and Topher grimaced too as Rodney growled and walked up to him. When the farm boy put a hand on his shoulder, he let out a high-pitched wail.
“Do not call me that. Ever.” He ordered. “Now can one of you tell me what that word means?”
“It’s French!” Their resident nerd stepped between them, and he let go. “It’s French for… meeting at an agreed upon time and place.”
“Oh! Rendezvous,” Rodney repeated. “Got it.”
Scarlett sighed in relief. She had a lot to say, but now was not a good time to say it, and she wasn’t sure if her teammates would receive it well. There was only one more option in her head—the confessional.
“There is something particularly off about Topher. One moment, he is civil, PR-friendly, and incredibly relaxed—and the other, well… he could make Shawn appear sensible. I am starting to wonder whether my alliance with him is a particularly good idea, but… oh, well. I suppose we all have our moments. I can’t quite blame him for going off the rails every few days… I know how that feels…”She trailed off in thought as she realized what she’d said. “...I mean to say in academia, of course. Group projects could drive anyone mad .”
Eventually, the two teams found themselves circling the hill at the center of Pahkitew Island, not too far from the little cave where they played Ride The Lightning. They approached the flare with their feet dragging on the ground, and their eyes half-lidded. It seemed the only one on that island who even appeared half-awake was Chris himself, who grinned as he stood next to the entrance of a cave.
Jasmine felt shivers down her spine. She tried her best to keep quiet as one of the Hawks spoke their mind.“So what the sam hell are we up to this time?” Sugar asked. “We ain’t even had breakfast yet!”
“For once, I agree,” Max added. “This break-of-dawn challenge scheduling is horrendous.”
Chris chuckled and gave that same plastic smile. “Well, actually, I decided to make this challenge extra- early because your eyes probably haven’t adjusted to the daylight yet. Which is perfect, because we’re gonna have a race… in the caves of Pahkitew Island!”
The cast gasped as he gestured to the cavern before them. “Yep! That’s right, I hope you guys know how to navigate in the dark… among other things, but whichever team exits the other side of the cave first, wins immunity. Any questions?” With that, Jasmine slowly, shakily raised her hand.
“Chris?”
“Yes, Jasmine?” He asked with a smile.
“How long should the challenge last?”Chris paused for a moment. “Thirty minutes, more or less. Well, if you guys can navigate good enough, that is.” Those words only made her tremble, so much so that both teams looked at her oddly.
“Oh, did I forget to mention that Jasmine has severe claustrophobia?” The host added. “Yeah. Good luck with that.”
“You can’t be serious!” Dave protested.
“May we let her at least sit this one out?” Ella pleaded, but that got some bad looks from her fellow Bears—and from Chris, too.
“If she does, I’m kicking her off the show. A refusal to participate in any challenge will lead to an elimination, as stated in your contracts,” He reminded them, and the Bears looked to Topher for some guidance.
He cleared his throat. “Well, that is true… but if that’s the case, why’s Dave still here?”
Dave seethed, but he kept it inside as Chris clarified. “He didn’t refuse to participate—he just never got a chance. But today? Well, he’s gonna have to suffer like the rest of you.” He brought out that damned airhorn from his pocket, and both the Hawks and the Bears assembled at the entrance of the cave. While everyone tried to focus on the task at hand, Jasmine’s eyes went to Shawn, and he looked back and mouthed some words for her; “You got this.”
Jasmine really wished he wasn’t on the enemy team right now. She looked down at Dave, who returned her shaky gaze with a shaky smile. “We can do this. In and out in thirty minutes or less. Simple!”
“You wish!” Chris called out, and with the press of a button, the race was on. Except, Jasmine got in the way of half her teammates as she froze in place. Ella thankfully sidestepped around the Aussie, but Amy almost fell to the side when they bumped each other.“What are you doing?!” Amy shouted. “We gotta go, now!”
Jasmine stared into the cavern as the Hawks disappeared into the darkness. “I… I can’t!”
“Yes you can!” The cheer captain grabbed her by the wrist, and as she pulled, Sky was tempted to pry her away from their de facto leader. “If you wanna see Shawn again, you will finish this stupid race!”
“Wait… Shawn?” The gymnast asked. She looked to her other teammates, and both Ella and Max shrugged. Jasmine, however, growled at the girl in red and picked her off the ground. “Woah, wait!” Sky pleaded, but it did nothing to stop Jasmine’s anger.
“That was supposed to be our secret, you wanker!”
“What?” Ella asked. “What secret?”
Dave exhaled. Out of all the scenarios he envisioned the night prior, this was not one of them. He wondered if his imagination was far too limited, or the world was far too unpredictable. Either way, Jasmine had to pay for it.
“She and Shawn are in love, okay?!” Amy answered.
Unfortunately, Amy answered while she was still off the ground, and Jasmine replied by tossing her straight into the cave. Dave realized what Amy had done when their local survivalist stormed past him. “I’m gonna kick your arse, and then we’re gonna beat those stupid Hawks!”
“Jasmine, no!” Ella pleaded. As they followed the survivalist’s trail, Max shook his head.
“I believe we owe Leonard an apology,” He said. “If we listened to him and Dave, then—”“--Max, shut up,” Sky demanded. “Leonard’s gone. And someone else on this team’s gonna be gone if we don’t get it together! Ugh, God, I mean, what did I just say before we left camp?”“No fighting before the challenge?” The rest of them said in unison, and they looked forward in unison too, but all they saw was Jasmine’s trail and some kicked-up dust.“Exactly!” She said as she picked up the pace. “Now let’s book it, people!”“I gotta say,” Sky added in her confessional. “Being a leader’s pretty fun! I mean, people actually listen to me, and if I can get Max to hear me out, then maybe I’ve been underestimating myself all this time! And after what happened today, well… I think I have a new gameplan—but I don’t like spoilers, so you guys are just gonna have to see what I’m talking about,” She said with a confident grin.
“I’d expected this place to be pitch-black, and yet, Chris somehow had the foresight to install rudimentary torches on the walls. ” Scarlett said as the Flying Hawks jogged down their stony, craggy path. Their shadows casted against the rough walls as they ran, and Topher chuckled.
“I’m not gonna lie, that was probably legal that told him to do that. As much as I like the dude, foresight isn’t exactly one of his strong suits.” As he ran, he realized something and took a slight detour towards the wall. Before anyone could say anything, he hopped up and snatched a torch, grinning as he raised it above his head. “Unlike me.”
“Ooh, good thinkin’, pretty boy!” Sugar said. “It’s not like Chris didn’t say we could take ‘em or not.”
He gave her a side-eye. “I know. Now let’s move it, people.”
As it turned out, two people on the Bears were way ahead of him. At least, they were about to be, as Amy screamed her head off and ran past the Hawks in a red blur. What followed were footsteps that made the ground rumble a little, and they all stepped aside to let Jasmine continue her chase. “You fucking cunt!”
As they disappeared further down the path, Sugar whistled. “Dang. Well now we really gotta get a move on!” Which they soon did. The further they ran, however, the more they heard an extra set of footsteps—and as Topher turned his head, he saw Dave, Sky, Ella, and Max, who rode piggy-back on Ella’s shoulders for some reason.
“What?! You guys caught up already? No way!” The preppy boy shouted.
“We gotta save Amy!” Sky replied as she overtook them. “Who knows what Jasmine’s gonna do to her!”
“Whatever it is,” Max added. “It will surely lead us to victory!”
He would soon regret these words, however, when Amy and Jasmine turned a blind corner and screamed. The Bears picked up the pace and turned the corner too, slightly slower, only to realize that there was a meter-wide gap in the ground. “Oh my God!” Dave screamed.
“Jasmine!” Shawn yelped out loud. That got some looks from the Hawks, but that didn’t stop him from looking over the edge. As everyone else followed suit, they saw the discordant duo rubbing their heads.
“I’m all right!” Jasmine replied, to which Shawn and the Bears let out a sigh.
“Ugh!” The twin shouted. “ Now look what you’ve done, we’re totally stuck here!”
“Shut up!” She retorted. “We gotta get outta here.”
Sky eyeballed the pit, which she figured was around three meters, since even the towering Jasmine couldn’t just hop out of it. “Maybe you can climb up or something!”
Topher, however, chuckled as he hopped over the gap. “Good luck with that. Hawks, roll out!”
With a triumphant raise of his torch, they overtook the Bears with ease—some more graceful than others, as Scarlett and Shawn ran and hopped over the gap, while Rodney landed face-first. With Sugar’s helping hand, however, they were soon back on track.
Sky grimaced and looked down again. “C’mon, guys! You gotta climb, quick!”
The two climbing experts looked at the rock walls that surrounded them, and they both tried to get a grip of the stone. Amy grabbed a rock that stuck out, but before she could even lift herself up, she let go of it and staggered back. “What? Why’s it so…”
“...Slippery,” Jasmine continued. “Like the obstacle course.”
“Slippery walls?” Max said. “If Chris didn’t want you to climb back upwards, then there must be another way!”
Jasmine looked around, and she was glad that she was in that pit—at least the ceiling was far away from her. For a moment, she was at peace. That peace soon vanished when Amy pointed around the corner of that pit. “Look! A hole!”
The survivalist stood still. “A—a what?”
“I think we’re supposed to, like, crawl through this thing or whatever,” The cheer captain said. “It could be a shortcut!”
“B-but—”
Jasmine watched in horror as Amy leapt head-first through the hole in the wall. Everyone stopped and stared as her shoes disappeared into the cave, and for a second, they feared the worst.
The silence brought out the cheerleader’s competitive spirit. “C’mon, people!” She said. “Follow me!”
Sky grimaced as Jasmine stepped away from the hole. “Uh, you heard her, guys—let’s go!” She tried to rouse her team by jumping into the pit, and with no other choice, Ella, Max and Dave followed suit. Though Ella and Sky landed quite gracefully, the boys fell to the ground with a thud.
“Ach!” Max scoffed. “We must make haste!” He didn’t hesitate to follow Amy’s footsteps, but as the rest of them passed by the shivering Jasmine, the remaining Bears stopped and huddled.
“What are we gonna do with her?” Sky whispered.
“We must support her the best we can,” Ella suggested. “Erm… Dave, you’re quite experienced with that, could we leave it to you?”
“W-what?” He almost broke the whispering barrier, but he calmed down the quickest he could. “Okay, okay, I’ll try. You two just… keep track of Amy. Please.”
“Of course!” The singer said. “Come on, Sky.”
As the two followed the detour, Dave eyed his ally and took a deep breath. “Jasmine?” By the time they broke out of the huddle, she was curled up on the floor. “Oh, gosh, Jasmine—” He walked up to her and grabbed her shoulders. “--Look at me, Jazz.”
She did as she was told, though her vision was blurred by the tears in her eyes. “I can’t do it, Dave, I can’t!”
“Yes you can!” He said. “If Shawn can get through the cave, so can you!”
“It’s not—it’s not that simple! I don’t wanna get crushed, I don’t wanna get stuck!”
“You won’t!”
“How do you know?”
“Max is literally crawling through it as we speak!”
That thought alone stopped Jasmine in her tracks. She sniffled and stood up, once more towering over her teammate. “You’re right. If he can crawl through that cave, so can I! Besides, I’m a lot thinner than he is.”
“I’m right here, you cretin!” Max’s voice echoed, and that got some of the Bears cackling—especially the Aussie herself.
“Erm, could you go first? I think it’s better if I… close my eyes and crawl. Is that alright?”
Dave sighed, but Sky knew that they were losing time. “Fine. But we gotta make it quick,” She said. “Let’s go!”
“Okay, now what?” Topher paused, as did the rest of the Hawks, as they were faced with three different paths. “And before anyone tells me that we should split up, if some of us find the exit first, it won’t count as winning the challenge. It’s gotta be all of us.”
“Like I don’t know that!” Sugar scoffed as she stopped herself from suggesting that they split up. “So what’d’ya think, pretty boy, are we gonna gamble on each cave or what?”
He shrugged. “What else are we gonna do?” He turned to Scarlett, whose eyes wandered around the caverns. “What’re you thinking?”
“We have no other choice,” She said. “Waiting around won’t do us any good, so we might as well push onwards. If it’s a dead end, then so be it—we trace our steps and try again.”
“Fine by me!” Sugar snatched the torch from Topher, who couldn’t believe the audacity of this girl. Then again, by now, he should have been used to it—and to his credit, he kept quiet as Sugar ran to the leftward path. “Immunity, here we come!”
Unfortunately for her, that would have to wait. The moment she turned the corner, her sandals snagged on a rock and she fell forward. “God-dammit!” She shouted as she dusted herself off, and Topher bottled in his laughter. It was a wise decision too; as Shawn ran over and helped her up, he spotted the rock she tripped on. He squinted harder and harder as his eyes adjusted to the dim light, but when Sugar picked up the torch, he saw a second rock fall next to it. Then a third, then a fourth.
Everyone looked up. When Sugar raised the light to the ceiling, an avalanche of stones fell down upon them, and those small stones gave way for giant boulders. “Holy shit!” Topher jumped backwards, as did Rodney and Scarlett. When the dust settled and the last of the rocks tumbled down, they could no longer see their teammates.
Rodney coughed from the dust, but he spoke through it. “Sugar? S-Shawn?!” He ran up to the rock wall, and someone shouted back.“We’re okay!” The survivalist said. “But now we actually have to split up.”
“What?” He asked. When the farm boy got a hold of the boulders, he gripped it and tried to pull it out of the pile. “Look, I can just—”
“--NO!” Scarlett screamed. “If you move that boulder, the rest of the cave may follow suit!” With that, he let go of the stones and stepped back. “That rock wall just might be the only thing keeping this tunnel upright.”
Topher took a deep breath and remembered his game plan—though he had to alter it slightly now that Rodney was with him. “Okay, people, we gotta hustle. Knowing Chris, there’s probably different exits—you know, ‘cause the lawyers do not want the contestants to get trapped in here—so let’s go!”
Meanwhile, back at the start of the cave, the Bears crawled through that hole as fast as they could—with Amy in the lead, there was hardly any traffic. The cheer captain kept her eyes peeled for any signs of hope, and when the cave seemed to curve to the right, she gasped. “Guys! I see light!”“You do?!” Jasmine shouted. “Finally, I can–”
The floor of the tunnel collapsed beneath them, and the Falling Bears fell again. Strangely enough, they didn’t fall into another cave—they fell into a room. A room with fluorescent lights, white concrete walls, a few chairs and a mini-fridge. A few bits of the original cave still stuck out of the walls, as it seemed the rocks supported the room in spite of the weight above. “W-what?” Jasmine asked. “Where are we?”
“Oh, yeah!” Chris shouted through the overhead speakers. “I was wondering if y’all would find that—it’s actually the intern’s break room. ‘Cause, you know, some people can’t handle showbiz, and instead of roughing it out, they lawyer up? Yeah, it’s kind of a hassle… but how else am I gonna set up these challenges, am I right?”
Amy raised a brow. “Why the heck is their break room all the way down here? This is so inconvenient!” She dusted herself off as her teammates couldn’t believe how reasonable she sounded.
“Hey, they said they needed one—they didn’t specify where.” As Chris chuckled, the Bears rolled their eyes, and Sky looked to a nearby door.
“C’mon, let’s get going—” She stopped herself as Amy grabbed something from the fridge; a bottle of juice. “-- Now, Amy.”
“Ugh, fine!” She cracked it open and chugged it down as they left the room. When they looked around, all they saw was a concrete hallway with a few doors here and there. “Wait, what the hell?” She asked as she tossed the bottle aside. “This is just like that one time in season one!”“What, with the island being fake?” Dave asked. “I’m pretty sure that was a joke.”
“You don’t know that!” Amy barked. “People lie all the time. Especially Chris. I hate liars already, so I hate him twice as much,” She said as she crossed her arms. “And the worst thing is, Chris said this was a totally wild island, right? So what’s all this?” She raised her arms to the surroundings, and Jasmine put them down.
“Look, let’s talk about it later—we gotta find the exit.”
Thankfully, Jasmine had eyes like a hawk. She peered left and right, and when she turned, she spotted a little red neon sign. “ There, c’mon!”
The Bears sprinted in her wake, but the sprint abruptly stopped as Jasmine realized just what awaited them at the end of the hallway. The buttons on the wall and the double-doors only meant one thing. “Oh, God,” She put her hands on her hat. “Elevators… why did it have to be elevators?”
Amy scoffed and walked around her. “Don’t give up now, we have a race to finish!” She pressed the button to go up, and the doors parted to reveal a modest wooden-walled elevator with a green carpet. Though some jazz echoed lightly in the air, it did nothing for the Aussie’s heart rate. She stepped back as she imagined how small it would feel with her seven-foot frame, and as she did, Sky forcefully grabbed her arm.
“Jasmine.” She looked straight into her eyes, and she spoke softly. “We can do this.”“It’s only an elevator,” Ella calmly added. “In fact, it’s Chris’ elevator, so surely it would be as safe as possible!”
“Exactly!” Dave smiled as he stepped in. “Look, as long as we’re a team, nothing bad’s gonna happen to you. Just… close your eyes and take a deep breath, and we’ll get back on-course. How’s that?”
The survivalist took another sharp breath. “Alright… okay. I’ll do it,” She said as she closed her eyes, and she reached out for a hand to hold. Thankfully for her, Dave and Ella were her anchors, and they guided her into the lift as Sky held the doors open. When they were all inside, it certainly felt somewhat cramped, but there was enough space to take one or two steps.
“Okay…” Amy gawked at the panel. “...why are there so many floors?”
Indeed, as the others realized, the panel itself had seven buttons—and three of them were underneath a keycard slot. Max squinted as he squeezed next to Amy. “It must be something for Chris and Chef… but nevermind that—to the caverns!” He tapped the button that said “G”, and the Bears were on their way up.“We are so screwed,” Shawn said as he walked through the dark, torch in hand. Somehow, the path they ended up on seemed completely uncharted by Chris and his interns, as there hadn’t been a torch for the past five minutes. “What if this leads to a dead end?”
“It won’t, you scaredy-cat!” Sugar insisted. “Like what Topher said, there’s gotta be an exit for all them legal reasons and whatnot.”
He stopped and stared at her. “Do you really expect someone like Chris to follow the letter of the law?”
She blinked at him. “I see your point.”
Then, they heard something unusual—a bell chime. “W-what was that?” Shawn looked around with the torch in hand, and as the seconds ticked down, the chime intensified. “Is that… the sound of an elevator?”
Before Sugar could answer that, the final chime rang, but as they looked around, there was no one in sight, and certainly not an elevator. “What in the sam-hell?”“We’re back!” Amy shouted. From where Sugar and Shawn stood, however, it came from right side of the cave, and they pinned their ears to the wall. “Alright, people—let’s show those Hawks how shitty they are!”
Though her voice was somewhat muffled, they heard every word. Sugar gritted her teeth. “Shitty?! Y’all took a got-damn elevator, that’s cheatin’!”
On the other side, the Bears turned to the left side of the cave. “How’d you know we took an elevator?” Jasmine asked.
“Uh, you know, the ding-ding-ding?” Shawn shouted back, and the way he said it made the Bears laugh a little, Jasmine especially. “But how could there possibly be an elevator shaft… unless there’s a secret underground facility?”
“There is one, you moron!” Amy shouted back. “It’s probably for Chris and Chef.”
Sugar furrowed her brow. “Well that don’t make a lick of sense—Chef ain’t even on the island!”
“Hey, wait a minute!” Sky shouted. “You guys are totally stalling us! Ugh, stupid cheaters—let’s go!”
“Says the girl who took the elevator!” Sugar retorted, but by that time, the Bears had already sprinted down their side of the cave. “Hmph! Now we really gotta—”
She stopped and looked at Shawn, who put the torch on the ground as he sniffed and caressed the creases of the cave wall. She blinked once more and squinted at him. “--What’re you doing?”
“If there really is an underground facility nearby—then that means this cave isn’t all that natural. There could potentially be some kind of emergency access point…” He spoke as his hands moved around the walls. Once more, Sugar snatched the torch and started walking away. “Hey! Don’t you wanna see if we can get a quick ride to the finish?”
“Dangit, man, you just wanna see Jasmine, don’t ‘chu?”
Shawn gasped as he jogged alongside her. “I—okay, maybe I do, but—”
“--Look, I ain’t mad, but lemme make myself clear; if you wanna help your girlfriend, you better do it when we hit the merge. Right now, we can’t risk nothin’. Got that?”
Shawn grumbled. Before he could even nod, rocks fell from the ceiling. “Oh, God—RUN!”
“I sure hope they’re okay in there,” Rodney said as he followed Scarlett and Topher down the cave of their choice, which remained as well-lit as the first cavern. “I mean, like, if they can’t get out…”
“They will,” Topher insisted. “If they don’t, then I guess we know who to vote for.”
Rodney clenched a fist. The thought of Shawn never seeing Jasmine again was an irrational one, but he had no time to think about that. “What? Seriously, dude? It’s not their fault they’re trapped in there!”
“Actually, it was Sugar who tripped on the ground,” Scarlett reminded him, not even turning her head. Her eyes scanned the cavern for any clues, anything at all—but nothing stood out to her, not yet, at least. “Unless you’ve decided to forget about that rather conveniently—for whatever reason…”
He squinted down at her. “What’re you saying?”
She smirked. It was a good thing that she was ahead of him, she thought. “No comment.”
“What?”
“Wait!” Topher interrupted. “I see light!”
The two looked forward, and around the corner, the shadows of boulders casted on the floor. The trio wordlessly sprinted as fast as they could, and when they turned the corner, they were nearly blinded. “Ah!” Scarlett yelped as she closed her eyes. “My corneas!”
“Ha! I knew that’d get you guys, and I got you guys good,” Chris said as he turned off a thousand-watt flashlight. “Congrats on being the first ones out of there!”
“Yeah, thanks, Chris,” Topher straightened himself up as they approached him, and he did his best to smile. “It actually… wasn’t that bad!”
Chris smirked. “That’s ‘cause you guys took the easy way out. Which, honestly, I didn’t think anyone would’ve tried it, but… here we are, eh?”
When the three of them left the cavern, they soon realized what Chris meant by that—they turned and saw six different caverns sticking out the side of the hill. Three of them were on the ground, but the other three were a few feet above them. “These don’t look particularly… natural,” Scarlett said. “Did you use a boring machine?”
The host dropped his smile. “How’d you know?”
“Well, while we were running, I noticed the caves looked quite… symmetrical. Like tunnels. That, and all of the exits there are all… cylindrical. You see?”
“Hm,” Chris said as he put a hand on his chin. “You’re smarter than I thought.”
A rumbling of rocks filled the air, and as it got louder, the ground shook harder. “What the—what are they doing in there?” Chris asked, and his question was soon answered as Shawn and Sugar tumbled out of another cave. The moment they fell out onto the grass, a pile of stones filled up the gaping cavern, and the other Hawks looked on in shock.
“Holy crap! That was close,” Topher said as Rodney rushed to their side. “What happened in there?”
“Well, first of all,” Chris intervened. “Seems like they took the collapsing cave route. Second, now that you’re all here, the Flying Hawks win immunity!” He gladly announced, and the five of them cheered simultaneously. “Now, we just gotta wait for the Falling Bears.”
“Ugh, them stupid bears—Chris, can’t ya punish ‘em for takin’ the elevator?”
Scarlett, Rodney and Topher turned their heads. “The elevator?”Shawn then let himself—and his imagination—run wild. “The island is fake! Or at least, it’s holding some kind of deep, dark secret, just like the CIA! I mean, what else does this island hold? Secret experiments? A doomsday bunker? Who knows what could be—”
“--Alright!” Chris raised a hand at him. “Can it, Shawn. I wanna hear the Bears’ reactions as they realize they—”“NO!” Amy screamed at the top of her lungs. “How did we lose?!”
“--Ah, there it is, the sweet sound of defeat,” Chris said as the dejected Bears walked out of the center cavern. Well, they were only mostly dejected, as Jasmine lied down on the ground and looked up at the sky. “Now, I’ll tell you how you lost—you fell off. Literally.”
Topher cackled. “Ooh, good one, Chris!”
Amy glared at him. “Shut up, you kiss-ass.” To which Sugar and Rodney cackled, all the while she stomped her feet like a five-year-old who couldn’t have a second ice cream cone. “Ugh, all that running, for what?! God, it’s that stupid elevator—you really need to make that thing faster!”
Chris smirked. “I might. Now get outta here and think about what y’all did. Since it’s not even noon yet, you Bears have a lot of time to think about who should be going home today. And also, lunch.” He stopped and looked at his watch. “Gotta go. Probably gonna get some Italian. See ya!”Amy let out a sound that only Amy could make—high-pitched anger compressed within her cheeks. “Stupid caves, stupid fucking claustrophobia, stupid random gap in the floor…” She stomped over to Jasmine and blocked out the sun. “This is all your fault!”
She gritted her teeth as she stood up. When she did, Ella stepped aside as she towered over Amy once more. “ My fault? You’re the one who spilled my secret!”
The Hawks gasped. Jasmine winced as she realized she had an audience, and in that audience was that very same secret. “That same secret got you through, like, your worst fear in the world! That’s like me getting through a day of high school in a fat girl’s body!”
When Max heard those words, his widened eyes went straight to his nemesis, and Sugar bit her lower lip. He knew where this was going and stepped back a little. The Hawks looked at her as her fists trembled, and when she approached the girl in red, they all exchanged nervous glances.
“Take that back,” She demanded.“Ugh,” Amy scoffed as she couldn’t believe the audacity of this girl. “Excuse me? We’re in the middle of a—”She could not wait any longer, and to everyone’s shock, Sugar delivered a slap so hard that Amy flopped to the floor. The contestants stood there in silence as Amy sat on the grass, her vision blurred as Sugar ranted on. “--If you were my sister, I’d wanna shock the shit out’chu too!” She ended that with a loogie, which landed right on Amy’s shoe. Normally, that was grounds for a kick-up and an uppercut, but the cheer captain’s brain rattled in her skull cavity—which meant it rattled quite a lot.
“Amy!” Ella yelped, and she was the only one on the Bears who ran to her side. Jasmine stepped around her and let out a sigh.“Welp, we might’ve lost, but seeing Amy getting her ass kicked has made it so worth it.” She smiled at Sugar, who smiled back. “Thanks a lot.”
“Yup, ” She replied. “Just like her sister—”
Topher cleared his throat and clasped his hands together. “Speaking of… what exactly was this secret that you speak of, hm?”
Jasmine lurched over him, and he regretted opening his mouth. “Fuck. Off.” She pointed away from him, but in that moment, the worst possible thing happened—Amy regained consciousness.
“She’s dating Shawn!”
The contestants gasped. Jasmine and Shawn blushed furiously. They both stood there like deer in headlights, and they made no attempts to refute her words. The walk back to their bases would be a long and painful one.
—“ Seriously?!” Topher shouted in the confessional. “Dealing with half of this team’s already hard enough, and now I gotta deal with some… romantic sub-plot! God, why didn’t I see this coming… so stupid!” He slapped his forehead, and that was a perfect segue into the next confession.“Okay, just to be clear here, I’m not mad,” Sky admitted hours later. “I’m just shocked, that’s all. Jasmine’s been so focused on surviving the competition and keeping our supplies in check that I didn’t think she even wanted a relationship. Gosh, if I had that kind of time management, maybe…”
She paused as her face turned red. “...never mind.”“Jesus, dude, I can’t believe you right now,” Topher said as the Hawks walked back to their cabin. “Number one rule of Total Drama; never get into a relationship mid-season. It does not end well. Especially if your lover is one of the strongest players on the enemy team! Like, what the hell, man—are you setting something up or what?! ”
Shawn heard those words loud and clear, but he didn’t bother to turn his head. After all, he was the one who left marks on the trees, and he needed to navigate back to their base the best he could. He tried to block out Topher’s voice, but it was utterly useless.
“Fucking snake.”
Shawn stopped. Sugar and Rodney shot a glare at Topher, and Shawn did the same as he turned around. “What did you just call me?”
“You’re. A. Snake!” Topher pushed him with a single finger, but that only made him laugh.
“Ha! Yeah, says the guy who voted off Sammy.”
“Hey, you voted her off too!”
“But you got her trust. For what? For a false sense of security? Is that why you’re all dressed up so nice and clean, and your hair is so perfectly-groomed, and your teeth are dunked in chemicals to stay pearly-white? Is it because you got something to hide?”
Scarlett tried her best not to gasp. She wondered how it could be possible that she and Shawn had the same thoughts, but then she remembered how strongly his paranoia swayed him. Serendipitous, indeed. “Shawn, maybe—”
“--So what?” Topher asked. “We all have secrets. But at least I don’t throw my teammates under the bus, now do I?”
“Dude!” Rodney piped up. “You were just doing that to him, you prick!”
“BECAUSE HE’S IN AN ALLIANCE!” He screamed at the top of his lungs. It was enough to make the farm boy stagger back, as did the rest of his team. “And now I know you’re a goddamn liability. I swear to God, Shawn, I’m gonna be watching you. Like. A. Hawk.”
That tirade would have scared Shawn, but unfortunately for Topher, Rodney put a heavy, muscular hand on his shoulder. He stood there, frozen in fear as the farm boy turned him around. “You better leave him alone. Or else…” He squeezed his shoulder hard, and Topher let out a high-pitched squeal. “...or else I’ll be squeezing something more sensitive. Got it?”
The Hawks looked in awe as the boy in blue had nothing to say, and he only nodded profusely. The one in the most awe could hardly contain herself—Scarlett had an idea, and it was something she concocted on the trip back to base camp. The closer they got to the cabin, the more precise it became, and when everyone scattered about to do their business—whether it was foraging, hunting or resting—Scarlett made her move.
“Shawn?”
He looked up from the indoor fireplace and set down his sticks. “Yes, Scarlett?”
She knelt down next to him. “I believe you and I have something in common.” She turned her head and glanced out the window, and there was Topher sticking pieces of gamey meat on a skewer. “Our disdain for deceptive people.”
Shawn nodded. “That guy is bad news. We need to get him out of here.” He watched as Scarlett extended a hand towards him.“Shall we shake on it?”
He nodded again and shook her hand. As they sealed the deal, however, the cabin door flung open. “Where’s the damn fishin’ rods?”
Though they broke out of the handshake, it was too late. “What’re you doin’ over there?”
“We’ve come to an agreement,” Scarlett said. “If we hypothetically lost tomorrow… we’ll have to go snake-hunting.”
Sugar grinned. “Gotcha.”
“You are so dead,” Jasmine said as Amy glared back. The Bears had formed an informal meeting of sorts within their treehouse, and the Aussie was so livid that she didn’t even care that they were indoors. “Throwin’ me under the bus, setting me up for failure— you didn’t think I wanted to win that challenge?!”
“Excuse me,” Amy replied. “But you’re the one with extreme claustrophobia or whatever—if that’s even a real thing!”
The Bears gasped, and Ella stood up. “Amy! Did you not see how petrified she was? My, she was completely helpless, wasn’t she?”
“ You told me you wanted to win—” She turned to Jasmine, but before she could continue, Ella clenched her fist. She grabbed Amy’s shoulder and redirected her attention. “-- What?”
“You cannot act like this any longer,” She said with a distinct lack of whimsy. Dave remembered that tone from a few days ago. “I need you to apologize to Jasmine.”
“ Why?”
“You’ve not been very nice to her, haven’t you?” She tightened her grip on her shoulder, and Amy grimaced. “So once again, say you’re sorry.”
“Okay, okay!” She winced and turned to Jasmine. “I—I’m sorry I wasn’t nice… again— but look, I was trying to get us to win! You know, like you said this morning? Like, why do you think I pushed you so hard? We needed this win!”Max sighed. “And now, we’ve lost it.”
“No shit!” Amy shouted at him, and Ella grabbed her arm again. The girl in red gulped as that stern gaze kept her in line. “Sorry. Ugh, I… I need a break, guys.” She walked out of the treehouse and climbed down the trunk, and the rest of the Bears looked on with tired eyes.
“I… I should follow her,” Ella said, and she did just that. While she made her exit, Max looked up at Jasmine with crossed arms.
“I can’t help but wonder, Jasmine—why did you keep your infatuation a secret?”
“Would you?”
Max bit his lip. “Fine. Full disclosure—the girl with the red hair—Scarlett, I presume? She’s caught my eye, and frankly, if we were on the same team, I would’ve attempted to make my move.”
Sky, Jasmine and Dave shared that same wide-eyed look. “Really?” Jasmine asked, and the minute mastermind nodded his head. “Well, then. Can’t say you got bad taste.”
“Dodging the question,” Max pointed out, and he paced around as he made his case. “Why keep your feelings a secret? Unless, of course, said feelings are tied to an ulterior motive…” He squinted at her and paused. “...an alliance, perhaps?”
Jasmine couldn’t think of an answer quick enough, but thankfully, someone in that treehouse came prepared. “You just want Amy to stay, don’t you?” Dave retorted. “Since, you know… she’s pretty much the only person on this team who actually, like, hangs out with you.”
As Max seethed, Sky scoffed. “Dave, you can’t just say that!”
“I’ll allow it,” Jasmine said. “Besides, if that cunt can’t keep her mouth shut, she’s good as gone.”
A good walk away from the treehouse, Amy and Ella sat on the grass, and they sat cross-legged as they took some deep breaths. Their eyes were closed as they let the sound of the forest fill their ears, and in that moment, they both forgot about everything—the competition, the drama, the impending elimination. In that moment, there were only two girls and the trees.
“How do you feel now?” Ella asked. Amy opened her eyes and smiled sheepishly.
“Better. I… I really needed this,” She said. “Thanks.”
“It’s my pleasure, Amy. I know how you feel.”
She tilted her head. “You do?”
“I’ve always been sort of… a problem child,” She admitted with rosy cheeks. “Growing up has been quite a journey for me, but I’ve found my ways to manage. Meditation, especially.”
“I think I should totally do this more often. Like whenever Samey gets on my nerves or something.”
Ella had almost forgotten about that. “Why are you so mad at your sister?”
That question wiped the smile off her face. “Because I’m better than her. And we literally have the same body, so it’s just, like, she’s wasting her freaking talent! Oh, Samey, always so soft and squishy, like a marshmallow—I swear, the day she grows a spine is the day I start respecting her.”
Ella crossed her arms. There was that glare again, Amy thought. “You should be ashamed of yourself.”
“Why should I?”
When she pouted and stood up, Amy stood up with her. “Wait,” She said as she walked away. “I just want her to be strong, okay?! Hey!” Her words did nothing to stop Ella, who continued back to the cabin. Amy stomped her foot and kicked at a bush, and once more that guttural wail of rage came out of her throat. She stormed away from the spot where they meditated, and she couldn’t keep her mouth shut as she mumbled once more. “What does she know? She probably doesn’t even have a sister. She doesn’t know…”
Her voice got softer and softer, and when it was inaudible, Ella stopped and leaned against a tree. She heard the familiar chirp of birdsong overhead, and she looked up and saw a family of Mourning Doves looking down at her. “Oh, my friends, I’m so sorry you had to see that. She’s… she’s quite difficult.”
The birds lowered their heads and nodded. “I’ve been trying to keep her in line, my friends, but—” She was cut off as the birds flew away, and when she looked around, she saw Dave treading over some leaves—the noise of the crackling must’ve scared them off, she thought.
“Hey, Ella, where’s Amy?”
“She’s… she’s alone. She’ll be back, but it’s…”
As she paused, she looked to the ground with a frown.
“...Oh, Dave, I don’t know what to do,” She admitted. “I’ve thought about voting for Amy, but…”
She looked at him. She wanted him to supply the words to her thoughts, but Dave had no idea what those were. He had no time to think about that—he had a plan to do. “Look, Ella… can I tell you something?” To which she nodded, and the two sat against a tree in the wilderness. “I knew about Jasmine’s secret from the start—because she told me about it.”
“Oh? She did? But why tell you and not the rest of us?”
Damn, good point, Dave thought. Thankfully, he had a plan for that. “Because we share the same secret.”
“What?”“I’m…”
Dave closed his eyes and took a breath. His heart raced as he stepped forward and gently held her hand. “...I think I’m in love with you.”
Ella gasped and covered her face with her mouth—and they matched a shade of pink. “Oh, David…” She muttered as she walked forward, and when she hugged him closely, he felt lighter than air. “...why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
As she held his shoulders at an arm’s length, he stammered. “B-because I g-got cold feet, okay? I w-was just so focused on surviving and I knew you were busy babysitting Amy and—”
Her pink glove covered his lips, a single finger pressed against it. In all his years as a library-frequenting nerd, he had never been so quiet. “--Amy doesn’t deserve this team.”
“What? W-wait, really?”
She sighed. “Dave, I’ve tried my best to extend my patience, but Amy is testing us. All of us. Why, when she spoke ill of fat people, I saw the look in Sugar’s eyes, Dave, and… I know that look. The look of hurt. And… I’ve been in that place before. I’ve been hurt, and all I could do was hurt back . ” Dave’s heart raced, but for a much different reason. When she looked in his eyes again, she figured that out. “B-but… I’m not like that anymore. I choose not to. I’m just saying that I know what that’s like… you see?”
“Yeah, yeah, of course,” He said. “It’s just surprising to hear.”
In fact, he was so surprised that he gave the confessional another visit.
“I can’t believe it! She actually kinda… likes me back! Wow, I didn’t think I’d get this far—but I still have one problem. Considering that thing she said about getting kicked out of Kindergarten, plus the thing about Sugar? Yeah. We may be the Falling Bears, but I think she’s the Sleeping Bear, if you know what I mean…”
He sighed and wiped the sweat off his forehead. “...I do not wanna wake her up.”After the confessional, however, Dave’s plan was not quite complete; he had one more person to talk to. At first, when he opened the door of the outhouse, he thought he would have a bit of trouble tracking his next target, but the sobs that echoed in the forest wind gave him an obvious path. He took a deep, silent breath and approached the sobs with hesitant steps. When he passed a few trees, he spotted the edge of a stained white sneaker sticking out from behind a trunk. “Amy?” He asked, and her sobs softened.
“Go away, Dave. I don’t wanna talk.”
Despite this, he turned the corner and looked down at her—she leaned against the tree and sat holding her knees. “What do you want?” She asked with a sniffle, and when she wiped her tears with her tracksuit sleeves, Dave’s heart raced. “Well? Say it already.”“I just wanna say, Amy… thank you.”She blinked and stood up. “What? What’d I do?”“Look, I know we haven’t really gotten along that well and sometimes you say things that people don’t like, but today you did something that could possibly save this team from getting destroyed before the merge; you exposed an alliance. For that reason, I’m voting off Jasmine.”“You are?!” She gasped with a wide smile, and in her joy, she hugged him like a bear. Her grip loosened, however, when she realized something else. “But… I don’t think the rest of the team wants me, Dave. Maybe Max does—like, he’s actually not that bad when you get to know him—but Ella totally hates me now.”“Huh?” He asked as he remembered what he overheard. “What happened?”Amy sighed and took a slow walk into the forest, and Dave joined her as she explained. “She… she tried to calm me down with this meditation thingy, but I fucked up. I pissed her off when I said something about… my sister.”
“What? What does she care about your sister?”“I don’t know, okay?!” She raised her arms in exasperation. “I just said that she needs to grow a spine. When she does, I’ll stop calling her Samey. ‘Cause that way, she won’t be copying me anymore.”Dave blinked. “Since when was she copying you?”“Since the day we were born, Dave. Duh.”
He scratched his head and recalled all the times he had seen her sister, and his eyes narrowed. “But… you and her are like… yin and yang, you do know that, right? You’re, like, total opposites.”“Yeah, ‘cause I’m strong and she’s weak?”“No, because she’s shy and you’re…”Dave felt his heart race to about 200 BPM when Amy gave him that expectant look. It was almost like looking at a lit fuse, the fire speeding towards an explosive bomb. If he said the right words, that bomb could be defused in an instant, and so he chose wisely. “...outspoken. Maybe a little too outspoken.”To his surprise, Amy appeared like she was thinking about that. For once, she didn’t respond immediately, and he jumped at the chance to add some more fuel to the fire. “Look, I get it. It’s hard to stay quiet when stupid people do stupid things, but tonight’s your chance to apologize. Like, if you can be blunt about people’s bullshit, then you can be blunt about being too harsh. If you do that, I think they’re gonna change their minds for sure.”
Amy kept on thinking. For once, Dave had no idea what went on in her mind—he had never seen her so deep in thought.
“Plus, Jasmine already taught us how to survive,” He added. If we kick her out, all we get rid of is an alliance. And trust me Amy, the last thing we need right now is someone who’s lying right in front of our faces. Am I right?”Amy smiled. “I think you gave me an idea.”
“An idea?!” Dave reiterated from inside the confessional. “This is either going to be really bad… either that, or really good television, I guess.” He shrugged, not knowing exactly what would happen next, and that scared him. He had already set the events into motion, but what exactly these events would become, he was not quite sure.“Alright, Falling Bears,” Chris said as they assembled next to the Cannon of Shame. Once more, he held up a tray of trail mix bags, but his cocky smile was notably absent. “We have a problem; I did not expect to be saying this, but the votes for the bottom two are all tied up.”“Well, who’s the bottom two?” Jasmine asked. Amy shot a glare at her, but before she could get noticed by their local survivalist, Chris dropped the bomb.“Amy… and you.”
“What?!” Jasmine shouted. “You’re joking— is this ‘cause of me and Shawn?!”
“Why else?” Max retorted. “In a show such as this, alliances are a liability— especially when they’re involved with the enemy! If you watched the previous seasons, perhaps you would have—”“--you prick!” Her face ran red, and the Bears gasped as she picked him off the ground. As he let out a little high-pitched scream, she made herself clear. “I’m the only one keeping our survivability up, and you wanna kick me off the island just because I think Shawn is such a great guy? You’re bloody mad!”
“ Actually,” Amy stepped in, and she spoke with a cadence that was strangely Max-like. That alone convinced Jasmine to let go as she made her stance.
“I think you’ve contributed, like, a ton of things to this team. I mean, you taught us how to survive, how to get food and water, and that whole treehouse was your idea. So, because you did all that, I get it. I get why I’m in the bottom two; I’ve been a total bitch. ”Her voice dropped with that last word, and the Bears looked on in concern as her eyes glistened with tears. They weren’t enough to fall down her face, but when paired with the desperation in her voice, they listened to Amy like they never did before—even Dave could not anticipate this."Yeah, I said it, I don’t deserve to be on this team, and you know what? If I go home, I get it too. Maybe you don’t wanna deal with me anymore. Maybe you think it’s easier if Jasmine stuck around ‘cause she did so much for this team. But you know what else this team doesn’t deserve? A double-crossing, alliancing, back-stabbing, double-crossing liar!”
“First off!” Jasmine shouted as they stared each other down. “You said double-crossing twice, you cunt, and second, I am not a liar!”“But you made an alliance behind our backs!” She shouted back. “You haven’t even said you were sorry!”
“Okay!” Chris broke the fight with two extended hands. “As much as I like the drama going on down here, we’re running out of air time, so let’s get to the point; the score’s 3-3. I just need one of y’all to change your vote, and we can settle this right now. Now who’s it gonna be?”
He looked at the Bears, and amidst the cool evening wind that swept through the trees, it was like a standoff at the end of a cowboy movie. Jasmine’s steely gaze shifted under the brim of her explorers’ hat until she caught someone’s eye. That someone was Sky. Sky looked back, and she had the same face she wore when she did their challenges—determined, focused and her spirit stirred. That face told her everything, and it was so obvious that it allowed Dave to hide next to Ella’s nervous self, and they narrowly avoided the confrontation that stewed before them.
“I’ve watched too much Total Drama over the past few years,” Sky said with conviction. “And if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that liars never win.” Those words got some side-eyes from the other Bears, but they knew better and stayed silent; if Jasmine hadn’t looked like she was about to explode, they would have reminded her of what happened on Total Drama World Tour.Indeed, Jasmine seethed. “You wouldn’t dare! What’re you gonna do without me? You’ll die back there!”“We won’t— you know why? Amy’s right, you did teach us how to survive. But when you lost your cool, I had to pick up the pieces. I had to get us through that stupid tunnel, win or lose—because if we got lost in there, God knows what would’ve happened to us! And what could’ve happened to you? ”
Jasmine twitched. “Don’t you understand?! Amy—”“--Amy’s words were uncalled for. I don’t like what she did to you either, but she’s right. You’re not apologizing.”“I love him, goddammit!” She stomped her foot. “That doesn’t make me a bloody—”“--ALRIGHT ALREADY!” Chris broke them up again, and his voice was much louder in person than it was on TV. In fact, it was so loud that some of the Bears cowered and covered their ears, and both Sky and Jasmine temporarily forgot their anger. “I’ll consider that a vote for Jasmine.”
Then, to their surprise, he reached up and pinched her earlobe, and he dragged her to the Cannon of Shame. “Ow! Fuck off, Chris, I can get there myself!” She shouted a bit redundantly as she climbed into the cannon. When she finally settled herself in, she looked back at the Falling Bears and scanned them as quickly as she could.
As she expected, Max and Amy crossed their arms and gave her a smug gaze while Sky gave her an evil eye. Those wankers, she thought, they’d be dead without her. Ella hesitantly waved goodbye, and she felt her heart tug a little when she saw how sad she was. However, that little tug also reminded her of something else; the guy who stood next to her.
Dave tried to conceal his smirk, but Jasmine had eyes like a hawk. “You bastard!” She shouted. “When you get eliminated, I swear, I’ll—”The boom of the cannon rocked their eardrums, and with the charge set off, Jasmine shot over the trees and into the clouds. As their heads rang, Chris somehow maintained his composure as he gave a bag of trail mix to each of the remaining Bears.
“Well! Glad that’s over. With that, let’s call it a day…” He turned to the hidden camera as he gave Amy a little pat on the back, which ended up shoving her to the ground.“Ow! Watch it, Chris!”“...Oops! Guess I don’t know my own strength, hehe,” He said with a shrug. “But with each team down to five members, things are gonna get particularly interesting. How long will it take ‘till they all go insane? Who will make it to the merge? And more importantly, how is Shawn gonna react to the big news? Find out next time on Total. Drama. Pahkitew Island!”

PAHKITEW ISLAND INITIATIVE

[LIST OF SUBJECTS]

FLYING HAWKS: RODNEY, SCARLETT, SHAWN, SUGAR, TOPHER

FALLING BEARS: AMY, DAVE, ELLA, MAX, SKY

ELIMINATIONS: BEARDO, SAMMY, LEONARD, JASMINE.

ELIMINATION STATUS: WARNING! SAMMY AWOL. UNABLE TO TRACE LOCATION. PROCEED WITH CAUTION. JASMINE EN ROUTE TO RED LAKE.

[END OF SUMMARY]

[STATUS UPDATE]

PROBABILITY OF SECURITY BREACH INCREASED. HEIGHTEN SECURITY PROTOCOLS. INITIATE SECURITY PROTOCOL 10-21. SECURITY INCREASED. INSTALLING SECURITY COUNTERMEASURES…