Work Text
Alex doesn’t hate anything.He doesn’t hate the way gas smells.
He doesn’t hate the long line at the coffee shop every morning.He doesn’t hate the fact that he can hear his neighbor getting the Mario coins knocked out of him every Saturday.But what he does hate is his fucking delivery job.Texas is a big fucking state and even Austin is still huge.
Every Saturday and Sunday, he takes off his junior law hat and puts on the ugliest blue vest he’s ever seen, gets into a truck that smells like an old hat and delivers almost 100 packages a day to the sometimes kind (and sometimes racist) customers he encounters when he’s routed to the middle of Bumblefuck.Today, He’s delivered about 50 of the 82 he has left and he’s on his third granola bar as he pulls down a long, private driveway and onto what looks like farmland.
He rolls his eyes when he sees there’s barely enough space to reverse this massive truck and pull out safely, so he parks, finds the box of whatever these hicks ordered, scans it and slides open the flimsy door. He looks down and sees, count it, 9 chickens, in an array around the truck.
He looks into the imaginary camera and steps out carefully. He maneuvers around the animals, careful to step on their feathers and eventually gets to the double door step. The porch is nicely decorated, there’s a ring camera and a huge sign that says “Live Laugh Invite”Alex has to roll his eyes again as he puts the package on the doorstep, takes a picture and turns back to the truck.The chickens have mostly scattered except for one.There’s one standing right in front of the truck. Shiny brown feathers, a very sharp pointed beak, quite plump for a chicken.It blinks at Alex.Alex blinks back.The chicken cocks his head to the side and Alex will swear on Saint Maria that it narrows its beady little eyes at him.Alex blinks again before realizing there’s still 31 packages to deliver and he’d like to make it home before traffic.He circles around the chicken, beelining for the door. He turns back to see the chicken is watching him, staring at him as he climbs into the truck.He holds eye contact with it so it doesn’t make any calculated moves without him seeing.The chicken seems to blink several times at him before Alex shakes it off and reverses out of the driveway.The chicken watches him as he does.
Alex takes the following weekend off but he’s back at it the next, driving down that same long private driveway with the chickens, chewing on a twizzler.He finds the package, something smaller this time. He shakes it and it sounds like a pack of something.Shrugging, he gets out to the slew of gathering chicken by the door again and very carefully making his way to the front door.He turns back after dropping the box and the same nicely groomed chicken is standing at his feet, looking up at him.It blinks slowly, Alex thinks, cocking its head to the side.Alex looks down at it. He imagines chickens don’t want head pats or scratches behind the ear so he’s unsure of what he’s supposed to do.He’s also kind of scared of being bitten. This chicken could be murderous, stalking him like fresh prey, waiting for the day he wears shorts so it can pluck at his ankles.Now he’s doing a slight jog back to the truck, looking back at the chicken who’s following him with his eyes.
The next weekend, Alex doesn’t even roll his eyes as he drives down the private drive to deliver yet another package. He has yet to see a single person who lives in this house but he’s given all the chickens names.He does his usual, turning around after taking a picture of the box and seeing the well groomed chicken again.
It amazes him how well taken care of this chicken looks versus the rest.
His coat is very shiny, soft looking even, his beak is sharp, the tip looks very smooth to the touch.His big eyes are always shiny and wondrous as if he were seeing the world through Alex’s eyes and he’s admiring him.Alex smiles at the chicken, kneeling down in its face and running a hand over its coat.The chicken nuzzles his arm a bit and Alex falls a little in love with it.“Well you’re not murderous at all are you? Just need some love.” He coos, petting the chicken's soft coat. He tries not to picture what the chicken would taste like rubbed with seasoning and on a platter of veggies.He’s just hungry and this was his last package of the day.“I’m done for the day buddy, and now I’m hungry. I’m sure I’ll see you again, you seem to be the one doing the ordering around here since I’ve yet to see anyone else.”Alex isn’t crazy but he swears his new friend nods at him. As if to confirm that he is indeed ordering packages with his chicken feet and smooth tipped beak.
Okay maybe Alex is lightheaded from hunger.He gives the chicken one last head pat and gets in his truck.He’s hesitant once he sees the puppy dog eyes the chicken is giving him as he cranks up the truck.He waves and backs out.June makes chicken that night and he almost feels bad for enjoying it so much.
When Alex sees the address on his route, he smiles, rearranging it to be the last stop again.When he gets there, he turns the truck off, puts the package on the step and turns to find his friend standing and waiting for him.“Hi sweetheart.” Alex sits down, looking around to make sure no one is going to attack him and picks up the chicken. He holds it in his lap, rubbing at its fur as he nuzzles into his chest.“You’re the sweetest. I have to name you. I named all your friends but you’re special, aren’t you?”
If this makes him a lonely son of a bitch, so fucking be it.“Alright give me a yay or nay on names, cluck or something if you will.”The chicken nods. Probably.“Larry.”The chicken flaps in utter disapproval.Alex laughs. “Alright. Shamus?”Another flap.“Earl?”Another flap.Alex goes through several other names and gets denied each time.“You need something dignified, sophisticated, so the other chickens know you mean business.”The chicken gets off his lap, running in the direction of the package, picking it up and bringing it to Alex. It’s a small paper envelope.
Alex eyes it. The chicken moves it closer to him, dropping it In his lap.Alex looks at it.“Open it?”The chicken flaps in an almost irritated way.
He pecks down on the envelope. Several times in the same spot.Alex follows his line of sight right over the name on the package.“Package? That’s not really a name.”The chicken pecks rapidly as it removes the sticker from the envelope and gives it to Alex.“Henry Fox.”The chicken caws and Alex smiles.“Is that your name?”
Alex hopes people believe him when he tells them chickens can fucking nod.“Henry. Henry the chicken. Well, I’m Alex, the person.”The chicken settles back into his lap, content with head pats and Alex calling it by its name.
Alex and Henry the Chicken have a routine. Whenever Alex has to deliver a package to him , he moves it to his last stop so he can spend time with him.
The chicken keeps trying to open the packages but Alex won’t let him, telling to wait for the owner because he never knows what’s in it.This irritates poor chicken Henry but Alex is serious about this job, even if he hates it, he likes this routine and won’t have it messed up due to illegal chicken activity. He’s made a friend.He sounds crazy but it could be worse.He’s actually considered becoming vegan because he feels bad every time he bites into a lemon pepper chicken wing and doesn’t know if it’s Henry or some other chicken.He hasn’t finished any of the chicken dinners June has made. Making up an excuse for his lack of appetite.Alex even tries to rush his route so he can spend more time with Henry before he has to take the truck back. He cuts down his breaks and fills the tank all the way before he starts.
Today, on week 6 of knowing chicken Henry, Alex pulls up to see the porch covered with letters.
He sets down the new box and tries to read what it says.“Help?” He reads, frowning.His stomach drops a little as he thinks of the many possibilities of what this means.
There could be a hostage, someone with a gun, someone could be getting tortured in the basement.He backs away slowly and almost trips. He turns and sees Henry, looking up at him.“Hey, these letters are freaking me out buddy, I think I should get someone.”Henry caws, loudly, louder than Alex has ever heard.Henry pads over to the letters, looking into Alex’s soul with his beady eyes and caws again.“Henry did you…did you do this?”Henry caws twice.“Is someone in trouble?”Two more caws.“No ones gonna fucking believe me when I tell them this shit.” He’d been keeping it to himself for a reason.“Is it someone in the house?”One caw.“Someone on the farm?”One caw.“Is it…is it you?”Two caws.Alex blinks.“What…how—?”He thinks. How could a chicken possibly be in trouble? Was he in danger of being eaten? Was he next on the chopping block like his friends that have disappeared over the last few weeks?He doesn’t think.He just buckles the chicken in the seat next to him and pulls out of the driveway as quickly as he can.He tells his boss that he doesn’t want that route anymore, gathers his bookbag(with Henry inside of it) and runs to his car.Henry, an excellent sport, stays quiet the entire time.Alex sits him in the passenger seat of his car. They look at each other.“Well. I’ve rescued you. What now?”Henry turns, tapping the seat belt with his beak and tucking his feet under him.Alex buckles him.Nobodies gonna fucking believe him.
Alex takes Henry into his home, setting him down on the floor. They stare at each other for a minute.“Alright buddy, I don’t—I’ve never had a pet…of any kind but definitely not a chicken. So—“ Alex is realizing he didn’t think this through.Henry flaps his wings and darts off in the direction of Alex’s living room. Alex runs after him.Henry throws himself onto the couch, sitting comfortably and waiting for…well, Alex wasn’t sure what he was waiting for. This is the most human-like chicken he’s ever encountered and he’s not sure what to do.So, naturally, he calls his best friend, Nora. She loves animals, she loves chicken, she seems like she’d know what to do in this particular scenario.When Nora arrives, June standing behind her with a grin on her face, Alex lets them both in and takes them to the scene of the crime: Henry watching Empire Strikes Back. Alex put it on because it’s the best Star Wars and even though Henry squawked in protest, he didn’t offer any suggestions so Empire it was.“Alex, that’s not a chicken.” Is the first fucking thing out of Nora’s mouth as she approaches the couch.Alex frowns. “Nora, I’m not an idiot, I think I’d know what a chicken is.” He huffs, sitting next to his chicken friend in protection.Nora rolls her eyes. “No Alex, that’s not what I meant, dummy. This is a chicken but it’s not a chicken, this is a person who’s been turned into a chicken.” Nora says, sitting next to Chicken Henry and stroking his fur.Henry squawks loudly, flapping his wings and crawling into Nora’s lap.“How do you know that, Nora?” Alex asks, frowning at the obvious betrayal taking place right before his very eyes.Nora groans. “I’m gonna tell you something and you have to promise not to freak the fuck out. Cause June freaked the fuck out when I told her,” Nora says, continuing to pet Henry.Alex frowns deeper.“Promise me, Alejandro.”“I–I promise not to freak out,”Nora opens her hand and a sparkling ball of light appears to float. Alex’s eyes widen, he backs up and almost falls off the couch.“Nora, what the fuck?”“I said the exact same thing.” June mutters.“What in the magical fairytale land is this?”“Says the kidnapper? You took him from his home I assume?” Nora says, conjuring another ball of magical light in her hand.Alex chewed his lip. “He was in danger. He made me an entire sign that said ‘HELP’ what was I supposed to do? Let him get eaten?”“Is this why chicken has been disgusting you the past few weeks?” June asks, eyebrows raised.“Yeah, I never knew if it was Henry or not and I felt super bad.”
“How the hell did you write Alex a sign, Henry?” Nora asks Henry. He caws twice and she nods.“He says the amazon packages were big foam letters.” Henry caws again.“Okay so you can understand when animals talk? What else is he saying? How’d he become a chicken?”“Slow down Alex, he can answer the questions after I turn him back,”“Back to being human?”“No, into dinner. Obviously, idiot.” Nora tells him, her eyes going completely black as she mutters something with her hand firm on Henry’s fur.Alex watches her, his mouth agape. “Don’t hurt him,” He whispers.“Hush you.” June says, watching her girlfriend work her literal magic.Henry lets out a loud squawk and falls onto the floor. Alex squeaks, rushing to pick him up.Nora stops him, looking at him with black eyes.“Don’t interrupt my spell!” She roars, her voice unrecognizable. Alex takes his arm back, rubbing the place where Nora was just squeezing. How has he been best friends with this woman for the last 6 years and has never seen her do magic. Although, he never seems to run out of anything when she’s in town so maybe he’s known all along. He wonders faintly if she can talk to all animals because he’d like to know what the dog next door has been saying about him every time it barks at him.
Chicken Henry convulses on the ground for a little bit and Alex can’t watch, he covers his eyes, afraid for his friend.“Bloody fucking hell,” Comes a very British voice that wasn’t in the room beforehand.Alex uncovers his eyes and they almost fall out of his head.Henry, the man, groans, running his hands through his hair and over his face. He looks around the room, no one is looking at him except for Alex. His eyes are wide, mouth dropped open, eyes roaming.He’s fucking beautiful. All of this was hiding under a shiny coat and smooth tipped beak? Fuck the person who did this to him because holy hell. Alex couldn’t stop staring if he tried. Henry is all pale skin and pretty eyes. His lips are plump, hair blonde and tonsoled all over his head. He’s a bit flushed and completely naked.“Do I have feathers on me?” Henry asks, he knows he’s blushing but it’s been a while since he did that.He’s also British as fuck and Alex didn’t know accents were a kink for him but he learns new things about himself everyday.A blanket is tossed on him and Alex blinks for the first time in about 5 minutes.“Oh,” Henry didn’t even realize he was naked, that’s not how he was turned.“You’re hot,” June says.“Really hot.” Nora adds.Henry wraps the blanket around his midsection, smiling softly.“Thank you both,” He says.Alex moves to sit next to Henry on the floor, poking the skin on his arm. He can’t seem to form words, he just can’t believe the chicken he’d befriended was actually a really hot man.“I’m real, dear, don’t worry.” Henry tells him, chuckling.“I can’t believe this, how did you…I mean what the hell?” Alex says, his hand rubbing over the smooth skin of Henry’s arm, watching goosebumps prickle across the skin.“You’re probably hungry aren’t you?” Nora asks. Henry nods.Alex darts up, going to the fridge and pulling out his pizza from last night to warm up some slices.“Do you happen to have tea?” Henry asks, wrapping himself in the blanket and climbing onto the couch beside the girls.
“I have coffee!” Alex calls from the kitchen.Nora scoffs and presents Henry with a steaming mug of tea and then falls back into June’s arms.“Alright no more, my head is starting to hurt.” Nora says, closing her eyes and getting comfortable in June’s arms.“Thank you so much, I was afraid I was going to be like that forever, I was beginning to become hopeless.” Henry says, sipping his tea. Alex appears by his side a few seconds later with a plate of pizza, chips, a tall glass of water, a cup of noodles and a few pieces of leftover chicken wings.Henry smiles at him. It’s pretty and similar to the way he did when he was a chicken. Alex tries really hard to remember he is in fact a person now and not a delicious friend of his.“I didn’t know what you’d like so I just got everything I could from my fridge.”
“That’s very nice of you, sorry to be so inappropriately undressed in your home, I was not turned this way,” Henry tells him.“How…were you turned? That was some really dark magic I had to undo.” Nora asks from June’s shoulder.Henry chuckles but there’s no humor behind it.“My grandmother, a nasty woman, cursed me after I came out and told her I wouldn’t marry the woman she picked out for me to marry. We got into a huge fight and when I went to sleep that night, I woke up with her standing over my bed chanting and before I could even awaken fully, I was–squwaking. She smiled and told me that this oughta teach me to disobey her. She stuck me on a farm with a bunch of other chickens and told me she’d come back for me after she felt I’d learned my lesson but she never did. That was a year ago,”“A year?!” Alex yelled, his fist balled up by his sides where he sat.Henry nodded, taking a bite of his pizza, his eyes rolling back in his head.“Fuck me that’s good. I have not had real food in what feels like forever.”“Chicken years is one year for us and ten years for you, so in your world, you were 10 years old.” June says from her phone.Henry nods. “A long bloody time. The evil witch never came back for me and I was afraid I was going to be eaten by the farm hand like the others so I started ordering packages from his phone. It wasn’t until Alex showed up that I thought I had any help. The other drivers just ignored me,” Henry turned to Alex as he sat close to him, like he still had to protect him.“Thank you by the way,” Henry says, blushing at the way Alex’s eyes will not leave his face.“Alex, buddy, relax, he’s not going anywhere,” Nora says, leaning back up from June’s lap.Henry chuckles.
Eventually, Nora and June leave Alex and the former chicken alone to their own devices.Alex gives Henry some clothes and lets him shower the excess feathers from his very nice body. He emerges with wet hair, Alex’s NYU sweater draped over his body and a pair of sweats. No underwear cause they don’t know each other like that which is extremely unfortunate for Alex because he would like to.Henry sits down at the island, a nervous look on his face. Alex is realizing that he’s been a chicken for a year which means he doesn’t have anything; no cell phone and no way home.“Where are you from?” Alex asks, putting another mug of tea that he got from Nora down in front of Henry as he sits next to him.“London, England originally,” Henry says, a smirk on his face.Alex scoffs but he can’t help the smile that crowds his face.“Obviously but like where did you live before you started to cluck?”“Oh I do live here, just on the other side of town. I was flatmates with my best friend Pez who I’m sure is worried beyond belief at my whereabouts. I have not been able to contact him or anyone. You honestly don’t know how relieved I am that you helped me,” Henry places a hand on Alex’s knee and he stares at it.He’s not sure what kind of person it makes him to have a crush on a man who was a chicken less than 3 hours ago but he’s not really thinking about it too hard.“It’s no problem at all honestly, it felt like there was a rope attached to my chest that kept pulling me towards you, I knew something was off but I couldn’t place it.” Alex says, placing his hand over Henry’s.“I’m sorry if I scared you with my help sign. It took me many orders to get letters big enough and you’d be amazed how hard it is to order things with claws,”Alex outright laughs. The mental image of a chicken ordering things on Amazon has him laughing harder than he has in a while.Henry just watches him, a small twinkle in his eye. The same twinkle that was there when they first met.Alex takes his hand. “I’m sorry this happened to you Henry, I really am. You’re welcome to stay here until you can contact your family,”Henry winces.
“Or maybe not your family but maybe your friend? I can see if I can track him down for you if you don’t have a number.”“I do actually, I have it memorized.” Henry tells him.Alex tries not to be too disappointed by that, he was secretly hoping Henry would stay for a while, maybe they’d get to know each other.“Oh, right, yeah, chicken memory and all.” He moves his hand, fiddling to get his phone out of his pocket.“But,” Henry grasps his hand again.“I suppose it can wait till tomorrow. What’s one more day of me being missing you know?” He chuckles, watching Alex’s face for any sign of disapproval.
He’s not met with any, Alex is grinning ear to ear and tossing his phone on the island.“Or a couple of days, cause…you know air traffic and you never know where he might be,” Alex mutters, biting his lip.“Right,” Henry is staring at his lips.
There's silence, it’s comfortable. Their hands are still clasped on Alex's knee, Henry’s thumb shifting back and forth over his knuckles.Alex has never been one to shy away from what he feels and he has a very, very strong feeling that Henry feels the same way.He reaches his free hand up to caress Henry’s cheek. It’s so soft, just as soft as his previous coat of feathers.“Can I–?” Alex starts, Henry’s nodding before he can even finish and they’re kissing.It’s so unexpectedly good and beautiful that now that Alex has had a taste, he doesn’t want to go without.He’s just glad he doesn’t taste like chicken.