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BAZ Blond.That’s the only descriptor my useless cousin could conjure up to characterise the date I’m on my way to meet tonight.
“You just described half of London,” I deadpanned.
Dev shrugged from behind his pint, his full attention directed at the football game playing on the pub television, “Not much else to say.”
Straight men are a helpless cause. The only other thing I know about the man, because he has business connections with Dev, is that he works in finance. So I expect he’ll be roughly our age, and dressed in business-casual attire. (Hopefully nothing so dull as the career he’s chosen for himself).The rain isn’t doing any favours for my hair nor my mood, but I find it helps to ease my nerves as I watch the streets pass from my bus seat, thinking through the possible outcomes for the night ahead. I’d say it’s been a long time since I’ve been on a date, but that isn’t entirely true. I’ve well taken advantage of the gay scene in London, been on my share of first dates and one-night-stands, but nothing of substance has come of it. I’m clearly doing a poor job of finding my own suitors, so when Dev brought up a “queer and respectable connection”, I allowed him to make the arrangements. How the mighty have fallen, I know. I’m not getting my hopes up, but I am at least expecting second date material.I glance at my phone once more to check I’m at the right stop before gathering my things and shuffling to the front of the bus. Our meeting place tonight is The Drunken Goat, a pub I’ve never heard of nor expected to find myself in based on name alone, but Dev insisted it was a decent spot of equal distance from both of our offices. Stepping over puddles and doing my best to shield my hair from the drizzling rain with my laptop bag (forgot my damned umbrella), I make the 10 yards from the bus stop to the safety of The Drunken Goat’s awning. It’s a quaint pub, if not a bit dodgy, but I appreciate its charming stone exterior and feel the pull of the warm glow coming through the stained glass windows. I check the time and find I’m slightly more fashionably late than planned. I also find a text from Dev asking where I am, to which I respond, Walking in now.And I do.SIMONI can’t get my bloody leg to stop shaking. I’m starting to regret asking Penny to do this. My dating life has been a tragedy. This is something I wasn’t aware of until embarrassingly recently. I thought I was set: got the prettiest girl in secondary school to go to the leavers ball with me, convinced her to be my girlfriend, went on to date all through uni, then moved into a flat together. Next logical step was buying an engagement ring. But then your girlfriend realises that actually, she’s only interested in women, and your whole relationship has been a fluke. So yeah. It’s been a bit difficult to “get back out there”. I’ve been thinking about dating new people for months, but I didn’t break until I saw Agatha’s most recent Instagram post announcing her new relationship, looking the happiest I’ve ever seen her next to her girlfriend. It also made me realise that I was never that happy in our relationship either. And I decided that, I too, would like to find that happiness with someone as well.As with most things in my life, I went to Penny. She knows me better than anyone, so who else could find a better match for me? “Seriously, Simon?” Penny crossed her arms and leaned back against the kitchen counter. “You know my track record with relationships. I mean, I didn’t even know I was dumped.” “Well yeah,” I admitted, “but then you found Shep and you’re great together! Please, Penny. I dated someone for 7 years who didn’t even like me. I need help.” She gave me a pitying look that would’ve been offensive if it wasn’t so deserved. “Well, actually,” Her face brightened with realisation, causing hope to flutter in my chest. “I do have a coworker who is single! I think you might get along well. And-” “Wait!” I interrupted, “I don’t want to know anything else, I want to be surprised. I trust your judgement.” Now I’m realising that I would’ve benefited from a bit of detail. Instead I’m anxiously watching the door, looking for a person I have no idea how to identify. Penny said she’d show them my picture, so I guess it’s on them to find me. At least I got to pick the pub… Penny’s nose scrunched up when I told her I wanted to meet at The Drunken Goat, but she knows it’s my favourite, and I need a familiar environment if I’m going to have a chance at not mucking this up.I glance at my phone to check the clock for what seems to be the hundredth time since I sat down. It’s 7:03, so they should be here any minute now. I arrived a half hour early to establish my territory. (Shepherd’s words, not mine - He said it would help with the anxiety, but I think it’s only given it more time to build up). And I should get a pint in before my date arrives - which actually does something for the nerves. The ever-present noise of traffic and rain grows louder for a moment, and my head snaps up toward the signal that someone new has entered the pub. It’s a young man. He’s tall, slender, and wearing a coat that looks more expensive than my entire wardrobe. I find myself unable to look away while he brushes his damp black hair out of his face and removes his coat with casual grace. As his dark eyes scan the room coolly, I watch him.And then, he’s looking at me.He’s also walking toward me now, and I can’t find it in myself to look away. He stops at my table, sets his jacket on the back of the chair across from me, and raises a brow.“I suppose you’re my date tonight?”BAZBless you, Dev. May good fortune follow you in all of your years to come and be passed down for many generations, because for once in your life, you did something right. I take back anything I ever said about you being inept, selfish, et cetera, because you have managed to bring to me the most gorgeous man I’ve ever seen. So gorgeous that I don’t care when he blinks at me like a fish for a full ten seconds after I’ve asked him a question. So gorgeous that I only want to ravish him more when he clears his throat and lets his first words roll off his tongue in a thick northern accent,“‘Spose so.”“Not going to pull my chair out for me?” I’m only teasing, but I’m caught off guard when he stands so abruptly that he nearly knocks his own chair over.“Oh, I- Sorry-”“I’m joking,” I save him from more embarrassment, although I feel my own face growing warmer at the sight of his delicious blush, and attempt a small smile in efforts to not scare him off. “You can sit down. I’m not the queen.”Now that I’m fully seated, I watch him expectedly as he makes no move to return to his chair. He looks like a deer caught in headlights. Or some other prey animal…“Sorry,” he clumsily (gorgeously) sits back down and scoots his chair back up to the table and clears his throat once again. Lamb. That’s what Dev said his name was. I expected someone more… posh. Perhaps it’s a last name, since Dev usually refers to business associates in that manner.“I’m Simon.” Oh. That’s better. Simon stretches a hand across the table and I take it in mine, feeling his warmth spread instantly through my fingers, up my arm and into my chest. I notice his hands feel rough for a man in finance. Before I give into the desire to pull him across the table and crash his mouth into mine, I pull my hand back.“Baz. Sorry I’m late.” “What?” He checks the time on his phone and I catch a glimpse of the screen: 7:05. Fifteen minutes later than I’d planned to arrive. I would’ve been more punctual had I known who was waiting for me. “Oh. It’s no big deal. Was able to get one of these in,” he lifts his nearly-empty glass. “Might grab another. Can I, uh, get something for you?”I nod. “I’ll have whatever you’re having. Thank you.”For reasons unclear, Simon visibly relaxes and a bright smile takes over his face. It feels like looking into the sun. “Alright, I’ll be right back.” He hops off toward the bar, allowing me to unapologetically admire him as he walks away. Broad shoulders, tan freckled skin, a smile that warms me all the way through. I didn’t know I had a type until this moment, and I believe this knowledge may be the end of me. How did Dev know what I wanted before I did? Dev was wrong about one thing, though. Simon’s hair is not simply blond; it is a swirling blend of bronze, amber, and honey in the form of unruly, thick curls that fill me with the urge to reach out and wrap my hand through them, pull them, pull him toward me… A gravitational pull so strong that I know, for certain, this man could ruin me for all others. SIMONI would be lying if I said I wasn’t surprised when a man sat at my table. But I’m certainly not mad about it. And I suppose I did tell Penny to make it a surprise.Just wasn’t expecting this big of one. I’ve been interested in men before, from afar. A sort of curiosity that’s been present for as long as I can remember but never acted on, because Aggie and I got together so young. Since I’ve been single again I’ve been considering the idea of exploring that part of myself. I don’t recall ever telling Penny about that, though (or anyone, for that matter). Maybe I told her once in a drunken state and completely forgot? Or maybe she really does know me better than I know myself. She can be freaky that way, sometimes.Once I get the bartender’s attention I order two more of the same beer I just finished. There’s one person at the bar, an older man in a tweed suit, who gives me a polite nod that I do my best to return. I just feel like a tit. Hopefully I did the right thing by offering Baz a drink. I think I did… He made that joke about me pulling his chair out, which is usually what the guy does for the girl, and the guy usually pays for the meal. I also don’t want Baz thinking I’m a broke bum. (Some might label me as broke, but I’m certainly not a bum.)I couldn’t help but assume, because of his grace and luxury clothes and general aura of elegance, that Baz may have higher standards than The Drunken Goat. I thought for a moment that I’d made a mistake choosing the location. However, his casual order of “whatever you’re having” eased my nerves a good amount. Goes to show that just because someone looks like they just walked off an ad for expensive watches, doesn’t mean they have a stick up their arse.While I wait for the drinks I pull out my phone to see two missed calls plus a voicemail and multiple texts from Penny.
19:04 Pen: Answer your phone!
19:05 Pen: You should come over and watch a movie with me and Shepard. Your pick.
19:05 Pen: I’m really sorry.
She knows I’m on the date right now, I don’t know why she’s calling me.
19:07 Simon: What?? It’s ok
19:07 Simon: Hey why didn’t u warn me that u have the sexiest coworker in London?
19:08 Pen: What?
19:08 Simon: Drinks are here gtg back to date :)
When the two pints are set in front of me, I slide my phone back into my pocket after putting it in do not disturb mode, and make my way back to our table. Can’t be distracted and give Baz the wrong idea (not like there’s much that could steal my attention off him). “Thank you, Simon,” Baz nods when I place his beer in front of him. He pauses, for a moment before, “Or should I call you Lamb?” A bit early for pet names, I think, and an odd one at that. Though this man could honestly call me whatever he liked and it would sound pleasant from his mouth. “Uh, yeah sure.” I watch as Baz throws back his glass to take a large swig. It’s dead sexy.“My cousin and I share the Grimm name from my father’s side, but I usually use my mother’s, which is Pitch.”“Oh, okay.” I’m confused by the direction of the conversation, but I can keep up, “Are you and your cousin close?”“Dev is a disaster,” Baz says, but the smirk on his face betrays his fondness, “Half the time I question the authenticity of our relation. But if it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t be here with you today… And I’m glad that I am.”Baz’s words and the small, shy smile he sends my way unleashes a wave of butterflies throughout my body, starting in my stomach, working their way up my chest and into my cheeks. My face must be cherry-red if the heat I’m feeling is any indication. I let myself smile back at him.“I’m glad you’re here too.” While on the track of transparency, I decide to continue after a deep breath, “to be honest with you, I haven’t actually, uh, dated men before. My last relationship was with my high school girlfriend and we dated for seven years, and then she turned out to be a lesbian, so…” I realise I’m pulling my hair and force my hands back to my lap. “Sorry, I don’t know why I’m telling you this. I just wanted you to know, I guess. And um, I’m happy I’m meeting you now.” BAZI can tell he’s nervous. I’m guilty to admit that I’ve historically been wary of dating men without any experience dating men. Whether they’re closeted, have internalized shame, are uncertain in their attraction to men, or only intend to experiment with me - these are all concerns I’ve had.Looking at Simon now, though, with a soft tilted smile and hopeful eyes, I can’t help but trust him. I don’t doubt his sincerity in the slightest. Perhaps I’m wishfully projecting, but I saw the way Simon first looked at me ( all of me) when I came into the bar. My first instinct is to reach out and grab the hand pulling the hair at the nape of his neck (a nervous tic of his that I’ve quickly caught onto). Instead, I settle with placing my palm on top of the one that’s still resting on the table.“I appreciate you sharing that with me,” I lightly squeeze his hand, and he visibly relaxes. “You don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with.”“Thank you, Baz” he says, almost bashfully, and I regretfully take my hand back. “Uh, yeah. Sorry, we can go back to normal date conversations-- do you have any, like, hobbies or whatnot?” God, he’s a disaster. I want him. SIMONTurns out Baz has a more diverse repertoire of hobbies than any person I’ve ever met. He’s a virtuoso violinist, speaks four languages, has a book club, and best of all, plays football!“Wait,” I rudely cut him off before I can stop myself, “You play football?”“Well, yes,” Baz blinks back at me while I take a sip of my (nearly empty) second beer. “My abilities aren’t where they were back in university, but I still beat Dev easily whenever we play. Though that isn’t really saying much.” God, that sounds so fun. Pen never wants to go to the pitch with me. “I haven’t played since I was a kid, but I really miss it. I’d love to watch you on the pitch.”I say it before I even realize what I’m saying, and I instantly feel all the blood in my body rise to my cheeks. Baz’s eyes widen for only a moment before he settles on a smile somewhere between sweet and teasing.“You could join sometime.”“I might take you up on that.” I attempt at mirroring his flirty smirk, but I can’t stop the grin that ends up taking its place.Seriously, how has Penny never even mentioned Baz before? Firstly, he’s perfect. Second, he’s a huge nerd just like her, so they surely get along well at the museum. Is she part of the book club? I would’ve remembered her bringing that up. “Oh yeah, I was wondering if you invite any of your coworkers to your book club?” “I haven’t before, no,” Baz considers for a moment with a slight frown. “I don’t think any of them would be interested.”“What? Pen would love to be in a book club!” “Pen?” He asks with a slight (cute) tilt of the head.“Oh yeah, sorry, Penelope. We’ve been best friends since we were 11 and I’m used to everyone calling her Pen. She likes all the same nerdy stuff you do,” I stop when I realize my mouth has gotten ahead of me once again. “Sorry, not like, in a bad way! I love her to death, I find nerdiness endearing.” Baz lets out a chuckle, giving me my first view of his full grin. It's as beautiful as the rest of him.“No, it’s okay, I get it. My aunt says the same things. It’s sweet that you’ve stayed friends for so long.”“I think you’d find you have a lot in common if you hung out. Or are you a ‘keep work and personal life separate’ kind of bloke?”Baz gives me another head tilt. “I don’t think so, maybe? Most of my coworkers have generally been significantly older than me.” Makes sense, I think, working in a museum surrounded by old stuff and old people. “How about you? Are you close with your coworkers?”“Well considering I’m their boss, I try to maintain a semblance of emotional professional distance,” I let out a light laugh. “But working in the bakery, we’re a small group and spend a lot of hours together, so it’s good we all get on well.”“You own a bakery?” Baz seems surprised by this, sitting up a bit further in his chair.“Yeah, been open for nearly three years! You should come by sometime, I might even give you a discount.” I’d add a wink if I was able to. Baz seems like he’s got the coordination to pull off a proper wink.“Oh,” Unfortunately, my attempt at flirting has gone right over Baz’s head, as he looks deep in thought. “So you’ve contracted financial advising for your business in the past?”“Uh, kinda, I guess. My ex girlfriend works in accounting, so she helped out a lot with getting things off the ground.” Baz is still frowning. “She doesn’t do my taxes or anything now! Just when we were starting out. I’m self sufficient these days.”“That’s fine,” Baz says. “I was just trying to figure out how you might have worked with my cousin.”“Sorry, I haven’t had the chance to work with your cousin before.” I look down at the table and notice both of our glasses are empty.“What?”“Would you like another drink?”“Oh,” he blinks, “okay.”“Same thing?” I push back my chair to stand up.“Um, yes. Thank you.”“Dev sounds like a great bloke, though. Perhaps we’ll meet on the pitch soon, yeah? Be right back!” BAZHold the fuck on.When Simon leaves our table, I pull out my phone (which was vibrating rapidly for the first 10 minutes of the date before I silenced it to focus on said charming date). Three missed calls and eleven texts from Dev.
19:02 Baz: Walking in now
19:07 Dev: He said he’s still waiting for you at the bar.
19:09 Dev: Did you get the right location? It’s this one
*address attached for The Drunken Goat*
19:09 Dev: He said he’s wearing a brown tweed suit. I told you he’s blond right?
19:15 Dev: WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?
19:16 Dev: This is a business associate! You’re making me look bad!
19:20 Dev: Did you get scared and run off? Remind me next time how hopeless you are before I try to help you get laid again
19:20 Dev: Twat
19:24 Dev: Sorry that was too far. Seriously are you ok?
19:36 Dev: You’re freaking me out text back if you’re alive
19:47 Dev: I will file a missing persons report if you keep ghosting me. That would be really embarrassing for you.
19:50 Dev: So apparently I have to wait 24 more hours before I can declare you missing. Call me when you see this
Fuck. “Excuse me.” Before I’m able to respond to Dev, I suddenly feel the presence of someone standing next to me. I slowly look up toward the voice, scanning over a body in a brown tweed suit, and find myself making eye contact with someone who is certainly not Simon. So this is Lamb.SIMONI return, a full pint in each hand, to find the old man from the bar trying to talk to Baz, who looks like he’s seen a ghost. Long lost grandfather, perhaps?“Are you Baz?” Nevermind, then.“No,” Baz responds to my surprise, and apparently his own, as he sends me a frantic wide-eyed glance. “I’m Simon.”This earns a raise of my brows. I set the glasses on the table and sit down.“Yes, this is Simon,” I add, “and I’m Snow.”Baz shoots another look at me, this time with fire in his eyes. Annoyed, then. I feel giddy as I grin back at him before taking a large swig of beer.“Nice to meet you both, my name is Lamb. I apologize for interrupting you,” the man says. He does look rather posh in his suit. I would guess he’s probably in his 60s. “I was supposed to meet someone tonight, and you fit the description I was given.”“May I ask what the description was?” Baz asks expectantly.“‘Very black hair’, I was told.”Baz scoffs at this, “Of course.”“Perhaps something came up for him,” the man nods to himself. “Well, you two have a lovely evening.” And with that, I’m left alone with Baz once again.BAZ“So your name is Baz, right?” “Christ, yes,” My head is in my hands. I’m going to die of embarrassment. I want to light myself and the entire Drunken Goat on fire. “Your name isn’t Lamb, is it?”“Uh, no.”I let out a groan. “I asked you! Why did you let me call you that?”Simon now looks sheepish. “I thought it was some sort of pet name.” “God, you must’ve thought I was a creep.”Simon shrugs. How dare he be so unfazed. “Nah. Just thought you were very forward. It’s an odd name for a human.”“Then what the fuck kind of name is ‘Snow’?” I can’t keep the exasperation I’m feeling out of my voice.“Hey!” Simon laughs, “Snow is my middle name! It’s perfectly valid.”“Ridiculous is what it is.” Thankfully, my insult doesn’t dampen the smile on his face.“So wait,” and it’s finally hitting him, “were you supposed to be on a date… with him?” “Yes.” My head is in my hands again. Simon is laughing. He’s laughing, and I’ve never been more embarrassed. “I’m sorry if I disappointed you. I understand I’m not your usual type.”“Stop,” I’m trying not to laugh, because I’m still angry. “My idiotic cousin set me up. All he told me was that my date was blond. He did not mention that he was eligible for senior discounts.”“I’m not really blond though, am I?” Simon frowns.“Blond-adjacent,” I shrug. Simon raises his eyebrows (I don’t think he knows how to raise just one). “Or perhaps I just wanted it to be you.”He smiles softly for a moment, and I think we might be able to move past this, but then he looks confused again.“Wait. So if you aren’t my date…” He pulls out his phone and squints at his text messages. Then he puts it down and looks back up at me. “I was stood up.”“Seriously? You also had a blind date tonight?”“Yep.”For a moment, we stare at each other in silence. But then the corner of his mouth quirks up, breaks into a full grin, and then we’re both laughing, harder than I remember laughing in a long time, to the point my stomach starts to hurt and there are tears in the corners of my eyes.“I’m an idiot,” he shakes his head to himself.“Well, I suppose we match.” I stand, holding my hand out for him. I’m not sure where I want to go now, but I know I want it to be with him. I’ll go anywhere he wants to take me as long as I can continue to learn anything and everything I can about him. He puts his warm hand in mine, gives me a knowing and mischievous smile that ignites a spark in my chest, and pulls me out the door and into the night.I’m living a charmed life. THE END Bonus:
Baz: Dev what the fuck
Dev: You’re alive!
Baz: Obviously.
Baz: What isn’t obvious to me is: WHY DID YOU SET ME UP WITH A MAN WHO COULD BE MY GRANDFATHER?
Dev: He’s a nice man! And he’s gay!
Baz: I’m offended that you thought I was that desperate to get laid
Dev: He’s not that old. His hair is blond.
Baz: YES WE GET IT YOU CAN SEE HAIR COLOUR
Dev: ???
Baz: That was 100% a toupee.