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Generation Kill277. GENERATION KILL
Brad tilts Nate’s hand in his, cataloging the changes in the low light of the lamp: the softening of his fingertips, the broken open calluses on his palm, the no longer cracked skin between his long fingers, the smooth, even lines of his clean nails. He runs the tip of his finger across Nate’s palm, a barely there touch, slowly dragging his nail along the nearly invisible scar at the base of Nate’s thumb.
Seeing the changes so starkly in Nate’s hands, Brad can’t help but wonder what else has changed since Nate left the Corps, since Nate left him.
278. GENERATION KILL
“Are you still coming?"
"Nate…"
"Stop giving me bullshit excuses, Brad. This is the 3rd time you’ve canceled your trip out here. Man the fuck up. If you don’t want to come, fucking say so and stop pussyfooting around."
"Sir…"
"Do not even start that shit with me. I’m not your LT any more. If you don’t want to come, you don’t fucking have to. You only have to say it. Do you want to come see me this weekend, Brad?"
"Yes."
"Then what the hell?"
"Nate, I don’t want to be in the way."
"You’re an idiot."
"Yes, sir."
279. GENERATION KILL
"Can you really say you didn't know, that this is a total surprise?"
"No. I've known for a while. I just didn't expect to finally hear it from Casey Kasem instead of you."
"For that, I am sorry. I should have told you myself. I couldn't find the right words to actually say it, not to you."
"To me, sir?"
"It's Nate now."
"Nate."
"I didn't know how to say that I was quitting; I couldn't take it any more, that I just couldn't stand by and keep doing nothing."
"Si...Nate, you know there wasn't really anything you could do?"
280. GENERATION KILL
Wright doesn't believe the President's claims of Iraq's involvement with 9/11. He's not sure he believes that Iraq has WMDs. He's not even sure that Iraq is better off now the U. S. has supposedly come to free its people.
All he is sure of is that he trusts the Marines he travels with. Wright can honestly say he knows no other men like them. They come from all walks of life, from different parts of the country, with nothing really in common other than being a Marine. But that's everything. These men are brothers. And he believes in them.
281. GENERATION KILL
" Amor, how are you? La reyna?"
" Querido, everything's ok. Everyone esta bien. Your papa was diagnosed with la azucar. He's mad at your mama because she won't make him tortillas now and she hides the pan dulce. La reyna is still ruling everyone with an iron fist and a flutter of her lashes. Don't worry so much."
"I can't help it. I want to be there with you to help you with her, to help mis papas."
"Tony, me too, but we're doing ok. I can't wait to see you though. Do you know when you're coming home?"
"Not yet."
282. GENERATION KILL
Lilia was good at being a single mother. She lived with her daughter in Los Angeles, had a great job, and good friends. She missed her husband, but it had gotten easier.
When Tony first became a repo man and spent a lot of nights traveling, it had been difficult, particularly after the baby was born. When he'd joined the Marines and deployed overseas, it became harder.
She'd thought of going back to Texas to be with her parents, but stayed to be near Tony's family. And she'd wanted to be close to the base for when Tony came home.
283. GENERATION KILL
They all call her Mrs. Gunny, no matter how many times she’s asked them to call her Cara. They come to talk to Mike, these men with the young faces and old eyes. They sit on the porch, drinking beer with her husband.
She often hears low voices, loud laughter, with long stretches of silence. She’s even heard a couple of them sing. She invites them to supper and sometimes they’ll stay. They’re always charming, telling her tall tales of Mike on deployment, and laughing at her stories of Mike as a younger man. She likes it when they visit.
284. GK/SG-1
Sam came to talk to Fick and Colbert, but stayed to see Person in action. He seems to have a way with communication equipment that could be useful to the SGC.
Everyone treats her like an Air Force officer. It’s nothing she’s not gone through before. Part of it is that she’s a woman – a small part of it - but most of their attitude is because she’s Air Force. And an officer. She’s been around Marines long enough to know it’s not personal. All officers are POGs until they’re proven otherwise.
They’ll soon learn she’s not what they’re expecting.
285. GENERATION KILL
"Too bad that you couldn't see"
"Damn, could you sing something other than Avril Lavigne?"
"You're watching your back like you can't relax"
"Ray."
"I thought that you'd be here by now"
"Ray!"
"My loneliness is killing me"
"Not Britney either."
"Baby I remember the way you used to look at me and say"
"Not NSYNC."
"Every little thing I do never seems enough for you"
"Hey, that's still NSYNC!"
"I don't care who you are"
"And now Backstreet Boys?"
"Walt, how exactly do you know who they all are?"
"My little sister was a fan."
"Your little sister. Riiiight."
286. GENERATION KILL
"My toe hurts."
With a confused look on his face, Nate asked "Your toe hurts?"
"Yeah, the middle one on my right foot."
"You don't say anything when your ankle hurts."
"I broke it climbing."
"Your right knee."
"I wrenched it surfing."
"Your left shoulder."
"I dislocated it during Afghanistan."
"But you mention your big toe?"
"Well, it hurts."
After a moment of silence, he repeated, "your toe hurts."
Nate put down the newspaper he'd been reading and looked at Brad.
A slight smile curling his mouth, Nate said, "You're only thirty-five, Brad. You're not getting old. Not yet anyway."
287. GENERATION KILL
Jane was happy Brad Colbert was visiting them before shipping out on his next assignment. She’s overjoyed, though Niel told her to not get her hopes up, but she can’t help it. They finally get to meet the man Nate’s been talking about for almost a year. Every letter, every call, there’d always been something about Brad.
Nate’s been home over three months, wandering from Maureen’s couch, to Stephanie’s, to theirs and back again, adrift. The only time he’s fully engaged is when talking to or about Brad.
Jane wants to meet the man her son is in love with.
288. GENERATION KILL
Brad jerked himself awake, his choked off gasp echoing in the dark bedroom. He swung his legs over the side of the bed, sitting up. Letting out a slow breath, he scrubbed his hands across his face. When his heart had stopped racing, he walked to his bathroom to throw some water on his face. Brad stared into the mirror, water dripping down his pale cheeks.
He hated that damn nightmare. It had been hard enough living through the reality, but the nightmare was much worse. Captain Morel’s red hair replaced by Nate’s brown, lifeless green eyes instead of blue.
289. GENERATION KILL
Nate’s entire life is compartmentalized. He shows a certain side to his family, the face of the brother and the son they still expect him to be, like he hasn’t changed in the years he’s been away, the war he’s fought not having affected him somehow.
To his professors and classmates, he’s the A student, organized and studious. His men – they will always be his men, no matter who they report to now – still see him as their LT.
Only Brad really sees him, sees all the different masks he hides behind. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t hide from Brad.
290. GENERATION KILL
Pappy loves the Corps. He’s been in for a long time and loves being a Marine. He loves his men, even when they act like whiskey-tango fuckups that don’t know their ass from a hole in the ground. The majority of his commanding officers were good men, although there've been a few he wouldn't have minded saluting on the battlefield.
There are days when he misses North Carolina something fierce. What he misses most are afternoons on the back-porch with his cousins, drinking beer, the taste of his Momma's tangy coleslaw and his Daddy’s smoky barbecue still in his mouth.
291. GENERATION KILL
Brad felt sharp pricks on his ankle and instinctively pulled his foot onto the couch. Looking down, he saw a scrap of black fur with big eyes staring up at him.
Reaching down, he picked up the tiny Chihuahua puppy, cradling it in his hands.
“I see you’ve met Harry.”
“Harry? You name him after someone? Anyone I know?”
A tinge of color on his cheeks, Nate smoothed a finger down a squiggly patch of white fur on its forehead.
“Not exactly.”
Brad studied Nate’s face and then the puppy’s.
Laughter in his voice, “You named him after Harry Potter?”
297. GENERATION KILL
Nate’s been coming to Arlington Cemetery every Veterans Day that he can since he moved to Washington. Due to other commitments, he isn’t always able to come each year but he consistently makes the effort. He needs to come to pay his respects and to remember his dead.
He visits several graves; each time visiting Captain Morel’s resting place last. He brings flowers and, when Brad can’t come, a smooth rock to leave on the stone cross. He has to honor the man who gave his life to make sure his men came back, that Brad came home to him.
298. GENERATION KILL
Brad doesn’t like going to the cemetery on Veterans Day. He goes when he’s with Nate because he understands Nate finds comfort in the ritual. He prefers to mourn his dead and honor them in his own way.
He slowly unscrewed the computer case and popped it open.
Quietly chanting under his breath, “May He establish His kingdom”
With quick squirts of canned air into the computer, Brad continued, “May His great name be blessed”
Carefully, he pressed the video card into the slot. “From the Father who is in heaven and earth”
Pressing the case closed, “And say, Amen”
300. GENERATION KILL
“I got you something. You don’t have to accept it if you don’t want, but I thought you might like it.”
Brad hesitated a moment before reaching into a cardboard box at his feet.
He pulled out a blond Chihuahua puppy. It had a thin, black collar with a silver name tag that read Draco.
“I thought Harry might like some company.”
Nate took the tiny dog from Brad, nestling it into the crook of his elbow. A long stroke down his back had Draco wagging his tail and trying to lick Nate’s hand.
“Every Harry needs a Draco, Brad.”
302. GENERATION KILL
“I cannot believe that you named your rats after pretend characters...fake kids in a book, a children’s book. I totally don’t get it.”
“You don’t have to get it. Nate named him Harry because of the white patch on his forehead. Every Harry needs a Draco, so I gave him one.”
Ray laughed so hard he started choking. “You’re fucking with me, right? You two are such saps. At least he can use the excuse that the puppy had a lightning bolt so he had to name him Harry. But you. There are no words for how sappy you are.
362. GENERATION KILL
It was a hazard to wear a ring on deployment so Brad didn’t. Since he still wanted tangible evidence he could carry of Nate, something to symbolize them, he’d decided on a tattoo but he hadn’t been able to choose a design.
A broken ink pen led to fingerprints on Brad’s shoulder and a thumbprint in the hollow of his hip, Nate’s marks on him finally visible. He’d worn the proof of Nate’s touch till it had worn away. They both had stroked the fading marks, realizing this is what they wanted.
They’d inked each other’s fingerprints onto their skin.