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She goes to bed that night, the Grimmerie open at her side and Elphaba’s hat tucked under her sheets. She goes to bed exhausted, grieving, hurt, aching, angry at the world, angry at herself. /// The first thing she feels is a pounding headache, the kind that sits behind the eyes and creates a swirl of pressure there.The second thing she feels is the sweat rolling down her back. She moves slowly, careful not to let her head shake too much with eyes screwed shut, gently kicking her blanket off. It’s never hot in her bedroom, not since moving to the spacious Emerald city all those years ago. The third thing she feels is light hitting the lids of her eyes. It’s never hot in her bedroom, and it’s never bright. Two things she’s adjusted to since being here but her body feels wildly out of place. In a way, it almost feels similar to her room back at Shiz.  Some sick dream, she thinks, and then the memories of yesterday hit her like a brick. Elphaba was dead. Fiyero was dead. Her stomach churns and her head pounds with the quickening of her heart.Elphaba was dead. Elphaba was dead. Elphaba was- “Galinda. Are you up yet?”She stops cold where she lies. That voice- she hasn’t heard it in years. Not since moving into the castle. Her eyes finally flit open, letting the bright lights roll through her pounding headache. It takes her two seconds to realize where she is:Her bedroom. Back in Frottica. Where she hasn’t been living since before Shiz. A knock on her door pulls her out of her stupor. “Are you awake?”She looks at where the sound came from- her pink door, flush with a full length mirror. Her reflection, she realizes, is not one she’s seen in a long time. The sheets part ways as she stumbles up to look at herself.She’s officially lost her mind, she decides. “I can hear you moving in there, Galinda,” her mother says, growing impatient. Glinda feels her mouth dry, like her lips have glued shut. Galinda- she hasn’t been called in years. Nor has she lived in this room in years. Nor has she looked this young, free from eye bags and worry lines and pressed smiles. The door knob wiggles. “I’m coming in-” “No!” she finally speaks, feeling her mind snap itself awake for the sake of self preservation. Her voice is higher than she remembers, flitting and graceful in the way she used to be. She eyes the fully packed bags sitting in the corner, packed about a week in advance now, if she remembers properly. “I’m almost ready.”“The train leaves in 2 rings of the Time Dragon’s clock.”“The train for what?” she asks, half anticipating the answer she receives. It does nothing to tamper the shock. “Why, Shiz of course.” It’s impossible, she thinks, as she rubs her hands through her weightless hair, watching her eyes flicker around the mirror. She feels her hands shake. 
It’s impossible.
And yet, that does nothing to change the train horn she can hear blowing in the distance, nor the smell of her childhood bedroom floating with the gentle breeze from her window. And yet, it does nothing to change the fact that time should be linear, and she should have never been here again.  Nothing’s truly impossible, Glinda thinks. She pinches herself to be sure. Not after everything.  She freezes. If she’s somehow back to this time, before Shiz, before Morrible, before the Wizard, before everything, then-“Elphaba.” /// One minute, she’s blinking in her childhood bedroom, letting her headache pound through her and her confusion sink into her. The next, she’s sitting on a boat halfway to Shiz. Glinda tries to remember. Had she been doing magic? Had she accidentally sent herself back in time? Or is this all some dream? Some glitch in the fabric?As far as she can tell, based on the way her shoes dig blisters in her heels, and the way every person she asked has given her the exact date that she arrived at Shiz, this is real. She spends less time questioning it all and more time running. 
Elphaba is alive. She has to be. 
And the longer she spends stumbling around trying to figure out why and how, the less time she has to save the witch. By the grace of Oz, she wasn’t letting this chance go to waste. Someone, an older Bird, shuffles past her, bumping her foot. They mumble out an apology, though she doesn’t reply, starstruck at the world around her. 
When was the last time I saw an Animal in public?
The day she arrived at Shiz, she came in her parent’s private boat, filled top to bottom with her suitcase.Now, she travels on the first local ferry boat she could get from the train station, empty handed. Her parents yelled at her as she sprinted out the door, yelling for her to wait, yelling for her to grab at least some of her bags. Glinda thinks she mumbled out an excuse, something to satiate them enough to let her run with nothing but the dress on her back. And the shoes on her feet. She shuffles them a little to get her skin to relax. God, did she really used to wear these kinds of things on a daily basis?It doesn’t matter in the end. She needs to get to Shiz, get to Elphaba, and tell her everything. Then, they can sort this out. Her hand travels to her forehead, rubbing out the tight knots that haven’t managed to untangle. The horizon line changes from blue water to bricked academic buildings faster than she’s ready for. They dock before she can fully blink. She’s off the boat before she can take a breath. Shiz looks exactly how she left it, those years ago after Emerald City. The memories flood back: seeing Elphaba for the first time, seeing Morrible for the first time, running through the Quad with Fiyero, running through with Elphie. Her feet are frozen at the dock, eyes glued to the buildings. Her fingers play with the material on her dress. A bad nervous tic, one she eventually stopped falling to because: 
A green hand slides into hers.

“You’re okay,” Elphie affirms. Her own fingers twitch, desperate to move some more.

“Don’t be ridiculous. Of course, I am fine,” Galinda argues, tilting her head up. They stand outside of Morrible’s classroom: the first day of their shared seminar.

“You’re nervous. That’s normal.”

“I couldn’t be,” she argues again, though her voice falls a little flat. She doesn't even believe her own voice. She remembers Morrible’s cutting words: that she wasn’t ready, that she was untalented, that this was embarrassing. Elphaba only squeezes tighter, letting her fingers relax.

“You can do this. I promise, you’re ready,” Elphaba smiles at her, and for some reason, the words settle her racing heart. They stand quiet for a moment. The hallway is empty and silent, besides the two of them.

“I am,” she replies, after a moment of breathing and holding.

“Shall we?”

And they walk in.
 A short Munchkin bumps into her, pulling her back to the present. She looks down. “S-sorry, I didn’t mean to bump into you. Though, I did want to talk to you.”It takes her a second to process the words spoken. After all, her mind jumps to the fact that it’s Boq, all young and eager and not at all made of tin or hunting Elphaba. Boq, who was once something of a friend. Who, later on, was something worse. Before she can reply, her eyes catch purple flowing through the crowd- someone walking into the Quad from a side corridor.Her blood runs cold, and Boq’s words and presence are forgotten. She doesn’t know how long she stands there for. “Miss Galinda?” he asks, concern etching into his previously eager smile. Glinda can’t help but shove the shorter boy out of the way, feeling her headache return and her pulse rise into her throat. Students all around try to talk to hear, but everything is underwater, and she can’t take her eyes off of the woman in front of her.Her hands start to tremble, and it takes everything not to tear into the fabric of her dress. “You,” she spits out. Morrible turns from talking to another faculty member, a sharp smile pulling onto her face. “Excuse me?”“Everything is your fault. You lied about the Wizard- you lied about everything!”Her heart is speeding up. Her head pounds so hard she has to press her fingers into her eyelids as her rage explodes out. She can see Morrible’s face wash pale, her mouth stuttering open as if caught in a lie.“You’re the reason Elphaba is dead!”Glinda watches her lean over to the other faculty, mumbling something about security. Other students surround them, watching with open mouths. She takes a step forward and breathes onto Morrible’s face. She pauses for a second, reeling from how she has to look up to make eye contact with the witch. Last they had interacted, her and Glinda were at eye-level as she had guards remove her from Emerald City. Her head shakes with deja vu. “Do you have anything to say for yourself? Oz help me, I imprisoned you once and I’ll do it again. Do you understand?!”Her vision is falling out of focus.“Do you understand-” /// The first thing she feels is her head pounding. Her hands immediately pull to her temples, rubbing to soothe it as fast as she can. “Oh, Oz,” slips between her lips. It smells like home again. It’s far too bright. “Galinda. Are you up yet?” No, she thinks bitterly. She opens her eyes to find herself back in bed, back in the morning, staring at herself in the mirror.  No.   /// She wastes no time getting back to Shiz. The whole time she runs to the train station, and then as she sits on the ferry, she pinches herself.
How is this real? How is this real?
The universe isn’t likely to give one chance for a do-over. Glinda knows this. After all, it’s not the first time she’s touched strange magic. The Grimmerie was all Elphaba would talk about before she… before-What are the chances of two?Glinda feels her patience waver, the time feeling endless as she’s already done this once- twice before. She tries to distract herself with her surroundings, once her questions of how and why reach a dead end too many times.Her parents yell again as she stumbles out of the house. The ticket collector looks concerned at her frazzled and rushed state as she throws coins at him. The old woman next to her snores on the train. The Bird shuffles past her again on the ferry. Shiz arrives on the horizon again and for a second, and truly only a second, she lets the warm nostalgia of her previous memories wash over her: 
The sun beats on her back, though it’s not enough to make her sweat. The fall weather wouldn’t allow for it.

She hears some of her suitcases slide back and forth with each rock of the boat, but pays no mind. Her parents can grab them. Besides, she can finally see the tallest building from Shiz University on the horizon!

Galinda lets out a squeal, feeling her feet kick together from where they dangle beneath her.

“We’re almost there!” she yells down to her parents. “Isn’t this all so excitifying!”

“Of course it is!” her mother replies. “You have the chance to learn from the best here, just as we did.”

“I only hope you continue to work hard with the Upland name.”

“Don’t you have any faith in me?”

“Of course we do, dearie. We’re so proud.”

Her eyes find them at the back of the boat, smiling up at her. She feels her own smile lift at the corners. It’s been years in the making, years studying and writing and trying harder than anything she’s tried for before, but she’s finally been accepted.

After all, she always gets what she wants.

A dark shadow slides across the boat’s deck until it reaches her, pulling her attention forward. The buildings are within yards now, as they tower and block the sun.

“We’re finally here!”

She breathes in the air as the boat slows to dock, watching families from all over drag luggage onto solid ground.
 She stumbles off the ferry. Again, she feels herself freeze at the towering buildings. From this angle, she can see her and Elphaba’s old dorm room. Someone bumps her. “S-sorry, I didn’t mean to bump into you. Though, I did want to talk to you.”Boq, again. She spots Morrible walking in the distance, but shoves her anger down, deep enough to keep her mouth shut and her feet planted in place. She grabs the Munchkin by his shoulders, pulling him close. “Boq,” she starts, feeling sweat build at the base of her neck.“How do you know-”“It doesn’t matter. You have to help me.”He stares blankly, eyes wide. He looks so young here, and Glinda almost feels bad burdening him with this information.“The Wizard is not who he seems. Neither is Professor Morrible.”“What are you-”Her head starts to ache. “I know it sounds crazy. You just need to believe me.”Her hands start to shake. “The Animals are being discriminated against because of the Wizard,” her vision falters and she grips tighter onto Boq, “it’s all for control. Elphaba is the only one that can stop him.”“You’re not making any sense,” Boq says with a waver to his voice, and tries to step away. Glinda doesn’t let him. Her pulse is back in her throat and she feels magic prickle where her hands grip the Munchkin. “We have to find her and stop them. Before-” /// Her head pounds. Her eyes screw shut. It smells like home. It’s far too bright. “Galinda. Are you up yet?”Fear and anger roll through her stomach. /// Maybe there are rules to this sick new reality. It takes her a few more trips to Shiz- where she tries to talk to Boq, this time more subtly, runs into Pfannee and ShenShen and tries to warn them, tries to confront Morrible again, tries even to find Dr. Dillamond- for her to realize there are rules. Every time the words start to tumble out of her mouth, about the Wizard, Morrible, and Elphaba’s new name, her head pounds, her hands shake, and a magic so wild pulls at her skin until she wakes up again in her childhood bedroom.That doesn’t stop her from trying, though. If the universe is willing to offer this many chances, she has to try. She doesn’t let herself think about the possibility that she will run out of redos. There’s too much at stake here, namely Elphaba’s life and the greater good of Oz. On her seventh time waking up in her bedroom, she tries to compile a mental list of the ‘rules’:
I can’t talk to anyone about what I know. Nothing about the Wizard and the Animals. Nothing about Elphaba dying.

I can’t yell it publicly. I can’t whisper privately. I can’t write anything. I can’t hint towards it with any degree of subtly. 
She has more questions than answers, but at least she gets it now, more or less. Though, how can she fix everything without changing anything? Is there a reason she’s stuck in this time, or is this some purgatory she’s being forced to live in, watching her greatest mistake over and over again? Karma finally coming for her? All the blood on her hands?She runs her hands over her face, breathing in the early morning air. “Galinda. Are you up yet?”“Yes, I’m almost ready,” she replies for what feels like the hundredth time. Perhaps this time she’ll take it slower. She hasn’t even seen Elphaba yet, arriving much earlier in the day than the other girl with her direct sprint. Maybe there’s a different way she can warn her- after all, she hasn’t tried the girl herself. The thought of seeing the green girl- so much younger, unburdened, back in a time where things between them were innocent- creates a sweet and sickening feeling all at once. She doesn’t run for the door. Instead, she steps over to her multitude of suitcase piles, reaching for the smallest one on top. A keepsake bin. It pops open with a gentle click, and she pulls out the first item, almost fueled on muscle memory. A black hat. The black hat. She feels bile rise in her throat. A high pitch ringing starts to echo in her head: 
It’s eerily silent.

She still can’t bring herself to pull her hands off her ears. Only moments ago, she’d seen- well, heard more than seen- Elphaba and the hunters…
No, she tells herself. There’s no way. 
Even as she remembers the tears coating Elphaba’s hollowed cheeks. Even as she heard Elphaba’s piercing scream.

“Elphie…?” she whimpers out. There’s no response.

Her hands fall from her ears as they grab the Grimmerie dropped at her side. She steps out of hiding, hearing nothing but her own breathing and the wood creaking under her heels.

“Elphie?” she asks again.

There’s shuffling at her side, but instinctively, she knows it’s not Elphaba. Too light. Too small.

It’s Chistery. The first Monkey guard she’d met in Emerald City, all those years ago. Maybe the first person to understand Elphaba outside of Shiz. He points to the corner, and she hesitates to look, terrified of what she’ll find.

Her eyes jump faster than her brain can stop itself, and she can’t help how her heart falls to her feet in a sick plummet.

The black hat lays in a puddle of water, resting still on the floor. She doesn’t take her eyes off of it, even as she moves closer. She doesn’t take her eyes off of it, even as her shaking hands drop the Grimmerie and reach for it.

The fabric is twisted and torn underneath her smooth fingertips as she lifts it to the light, and she stifles a sob.

The hat only stares back at her, with no head to wear it.
 “Galinda?” Hands touch her shoulders and she yelps. She hadn’t even noticed her dad walk in front of her. Tears roll down her cheeks and she fumbles to wipe them away. “Are you alright?”“Fine, Popsicle,” she tries to play it off. “I’m… only terribly sad that I won’t see you for some time.”He smiles at her. “Come here, darling.”She falls into his open arms easily, feeling as young as she should be in this timeline- maybe younger. The tears keep falling and her breath hitches and she only thinks about how she shouldn’t be doing this in front of him, but that it hurts so bad to look at that hat, to think about her.She cries until her mom comes to fetch them both, stating it’s time to depart.  /// It feels weird to be back on this boat, in this way. Sure, the past few running attempts have led her to travel these same exact waters. Though, before, it felt removed. She never rode the ferry to school, and only ever traveled this way on her parents boat. This is all too similar to how it should be- how it was. She should be excited. She should be jabbering to her parents, swinging her feet, letting joy and anticipation and nerves roll all over in a sweet and naive way. Now, she’s silent. Her parents don’t say much, leaving to her own devices, which is for the best. The more she talks, the more she remembers, and the more self control she loses about the things she is forbidden from speaking about. Shiz arrives quickly, and it’s much busier than the times before. They are coming later in the day, after all. Instead of the sun casting shadows behind the buildings, it’s straight in the sky, falling right onto Galinda’s back.She sees Boq, wandering around the docks, and tries to avoid him. She sees her friends gathered in the corner, and tries to keep her eyes off of them.  Just get to Elphaba, she repeats in her head over and over. Her parents help her unload her things. They hug goodbye. She’s done this all before, and her heart starts to beat, because she remembers after her parents left, she walked into the Quad to greet her fellow students, and then-Students gasp around her, stepping back into a large circle. She already knows who it is. Her head flies to look, but the rest of her is frozen. Elphaba stands there, looking innocently confused- although Glinda knows this to be a way of coping at the immediate estrangement from being green- and just as Glinda remembers her. Shorter, as she was back then, and softer, before the aches of rebellion pressed into her face. She looks healthy, eager, alive. She is alive. The sight alone brings Glinda to tears. Elphaba doesn’t speak, as if she’s waiting for Glinda to tear into her as the students watch on with anticipation. It’s silent for much too long, before the girl finally says something."Um, hello?" 
“Hello?"

It's finally dark now, just past midnight. The buildings are turning their lights off, streets empty.

Glinda doesn't stop looking around, though, letting paranoia fill her mind. She listens for any signs of life, signs of guards, signs of-

"Hello."

Glinda turns to the darkest corner of the alley, and sees her.

"Elphie," she whispers quietly, running forward. "Oh, I've missed you."

Elphaba opens her arms, letting her fall into them. Her cape drapes around them both.

"It took you long enough to answer my message," she says, but Glinda knows there's no malice. Times are unpredictable.

"I'm- I'm sorry. I had to make sure, with the Wizard and everything-"

Elphie's fingers brush her lips. "I know."

Glinda looks at her, really studies her under the gentle glow of the moon. Her face is paler than it was, cheeks hollow, eyes tired. She's sure she looks no better, but it makes her sad all the same.

"What have we become?" she muses sadly, letting her hands run across the girl's shoulders.

"I was always meant to be this way," Elphie answers. "I was meant to fight this, to change things."

"No one is meant to be alone."

"Are you alone?" Elphaba asks. Her silence is an answer in itself.

A noise pulls their attention away. A risk. Elphaba grabs her broom in fear, backing away, and Glinda pushes them farther into the shadows.

"I should go," Elphie says, fear lacing the sadness in her voice.

Glinda slides her hands across green collarbone, blushing. She retries the cape, pulling it tighter around the girl.

Elphaba leans in for a hug.

"Will I see you soon?" Glinda asks. Elphie's silence is an answer in itself, too.

"Stay safe," Elphie says, before silently running around the corner.

Her heart cracks a little, and she can't stand to be apart any longer.

"Wait!" she whispers, grabbing the girl's wrists. She stops Elphaba, lpulling her back into the alley. Elphaba must know what she's planning, because she's leaning down before Glinda can say anything else.

Their kiss is short, but so very sweet. It makes Glinda sigh into her mouth as Elphaba's hands slide up her hair.

They open their eyes. "Now goodbye."

"You always have to have the last word, don't you?" Elphaba asks with a quiet chuckle.

"I always get what I want."

Elphie smiles, and leaves. "Goodbye, my sweet."

As Glinda watches the girl sneak off into the night, she realizes with a sad sigh that the only thing she really wants is the one she can't have.
 “Let’s get this over with,” Elphaba starts, and the voice sends her reeling. Her feet finally move, and she runs forward, launching herself at the girl. Students around them gasp. At her distance, Glinda can feel Elphaba’s sharp inhale. Her arms are around the girl before either of them can speak. Her neck starts to tingle. She’s alive, she repeats. She’s alive, she’s alive, she’s-“I’m sorry,” Glinda cries out. “I’m so, so sorry.”“What are you-?” Elphaba doesn’t hug her back, only stands perfectly still, looking more confused than ever. “Everything is my fault. I should’ve helped you with the Animals. I could’ve done so much more, and I-”She’s sobbing now, and words are tumbling faster than she can control. “I never got to say goodbye. Or sorry. Or anything I’ve longed to say for what feels like forever.”“I don’t understand,” Elphaba whispers in her ear, sending goosebumps down Glinda’s arms. Her vision starts to falter. “You are so smart,” Glinda says, letting go of the hug to look into the girl’s face. “You are so smart, in fact, you save all of Oz at your own expense.”Elphaba stares, wide-eyed and frozen. Her fingers start to shake where they sit on the girl’s shoulder. “There have been centuries of lies and corruption and everything you believe. We can save everyone together. You only have to trust me.”“Do I know you?” Elphaba finally asks, making Glinda laugh through her tears. Her heart breaks a little more. “No. But I know you. And I’m going to fix everything.”She reaches a hand to brush Elphaba’s hair behind her ear. Her skin is so soft, and so brightly green, it makes her smile. Her head pounds so much now, and she takes the risk, surging forward. Their lips touch for a second, and then- /// Her head pounds. It’s far too bright. She sits up in a jolt, ignoring her flickering vision and wobbling legs. Her own reflection looks back from the mirror.“What do you want from me?!” she yells into the soft early morning. “Is there nothing I can do?”Magic pricks the ends of her finger. A warning, it feels like. It feels as though the weight of the world has rested on her shoulders. It’s all too big. It’s more than just Elphaba- a hard truth- but it’s about the Animals and her friends and everyone who was dragged into the Wizard’s bullshit. For a moment, she lets defeat wash over her. She curses to herself, lays face-down in bed with fists clenched at her side, until her parents come to get her.  I’ll go again, she swears. I’ll go again and again and again until I figure this out.   /// Distance is what she decides on.If she can’t confront Morrible, she won’t trail after and beg for a spot in the seminar. If she can’t warn her friends, she won’t spend all her time surrounded by them. If she can’t hold Elphaba, then-“You’re green.”And they loathe each other. It hurts more than anything.  Not more than her death, she decides. So, they stay apart. The only good thing about all this distance, all this loneliness, is that she can research. There has to be some book on this kind of cruel magic, anything on why she’s stuck here and how she can fix everything. She reads books upon books upon books and nothing. A small part of her fears the only book to house something this powerful is the Grimmerie, which she has no access to unless the Wizard invited her to his chambers. That only happened last time because of Elphaba. 
Maybe I can keep going until then, make it to Emerald city, and then escape with the book. 
It’s the only direction she’s discovered thus far. For now, she continues to scour the library.  /// 
“There has to be something here!”

Galinda watches as Elphaba flips through pages, a pile of books spread on her desk. The girl groans before slamming the book and opening a new one.

“What exactly are you searching for all frantic like?”

“Dr. Dillamond was taken, whatever the hell that means. There’s something going on in Oz, and everyone knows it now!”

Galinda frowns as Elphie’s face twists angrily. She doesn’t know if the girl slept at all last night, not after Dillamond and the Lion cub. Her hands rub at her side as she tries not to think about Fiyero and Elphaba going off without her, as if they don’t see her capable-

“He left these books for me. There has to be something in here that can help!”

Galinda sees glasses and books and bags start to shake in the room. Elphie’s breathing has shortened as she skims more pages.

“There has to be something! He was the only one teaching me! He-”

“Elphie,” she tries lightly. It doesn’t seem to do anything. “Elphaba.”

She puts her hands on the girl’s hands, forcing her to stop.

“Take a deep breath.”

The green girl struggles in a long breath. The objects around the room silence quickly.

“Sorry,” Elphaba apologizes, turning her hands up to hold Galinda’s. “I’m not trying to lose control. I just-”

“I know,” Galinda says lightly, a frown painting her features again. “I know this is serious. I also know that skimming through these books with no hours of sleep can’t help.”

Elphaba goes to retort, but she speaks before the girl can fight back. “Doing this alone can’t help, either. This doesn’t all fall on you.”

“No one is doing anything to help. How can it not fall on me?”

“Fiyero helped you with the cub, earlier,” she says through gritted teeth. “You aren’t alone. Dillamond’s removal was questionable to everyone in his class. People will start to ask questions”

Elphie looks down at that, letting her shoulders relax.

“Besides,” Galinda continues. “You have me.”

Their hands both squeeze tighter. “You’re right.”

Galinda can see Elphaba eye the books, and she can read her mind pretty well.

“How about an ultimatum?”

“Say more,” Elphie says with a small frown.

“How about you go take a nap, and when you wake up, we can get dinner and go back through some of these books.”

Elphaba ponders it for a moment.

“Together,” she adds.

“If you wish,” Elphie answers finally. “There are a few other books in the library I’d like to go through also.”

“I can stop by and check them out while you rest, if you write me a list.”

Galinda falters under the wide smile the girl gives her.

She finds herself wandering in the library, later that day. It’s not often she’s in here, but it’s quiet. She can sort of see why Elphaba likes it here.

The books are easy to find, and she walks proudly back to the dorm room holding a stack. Helping others is what she does best, even if she hates reading.

Helping Elphaba? Even better. 
 /// “Because we cannot escape the past.”Glinda’s heart beats in her throat. She keeps her eyes off Elphaba, terrified that one look at her hurt and angry face will send her spiraling. Dr. Dillamond goes on. “And we ignore it at our own peril. The past helps explain our circumstances. For instance…”She clenches her hands in her lap. Dillamond reaches a leg up to flip the board, only to find-“Who is responsible for this?”It’s been half a decade since she’s seen it, but she can recite the board perfectly: Animals should be seen and not heard. It was maybe the first time she ever thought about any of this- at least, before Elphie opened her eyes. “Very well, class dismissed,” Dillamond continues firmly. Students start to whisper and move slowly. Elphaba makes no move to leave, staring at the board. She watches the Goat back into the table, smashing the vase of poppies: 
“What do you have poppies for?” Galinda asks.

They’re in the fields of flowers that span between University and the city. Boq, Nessa, and Fiyero are exploring in the distance, looking for firewood. Her and Elphie are sitting in the field, setting up a small picnic area for the five of them.

“I thought Dr. Dillamond would want more. He says they’re his favorite,” Elphaba replies. She holds a collection of delicately picked single stems, with red, orange, and yellow coloring the top. Her green fingers blend with the stems.

“You spend a lot of time with him, then?”

“I do,” Elphaba breathes. “Well, I did. I guess I haven’t as much. He’s been busy dealing with… whatever might be going on.”

“Did you learn a lot from him, when you did spend more time together?” Galinda always wondered where she went off to when they still, for lack of a better word, loathed each other.

“I did. Though, sometimes we would just chat over tea about more mundane things. He was really my only friend here for some time,” Elphaba says, smiling as she fiddles with the poppies in her lap, as though that fact is something to treasure. Galinda frowns, feeling something deeper than sadness and more respectful than pity floating in her stomach.

“You have us now, don’t forget,” she states as a firm reminder, bumping Elphaba’s shoulder.

“I do.”

Elphaba smiles over at her, leaning in closer. She takes a single stem out from the bunch.

“Payback for the rose you gave me,” the green girl says, handing her a dark red poppy.

Galinda thinks she might be a little in love. 
 Poppies are spread on the floor, petals ripped in every direction. “I said, class dismissed! ” Dillamond yells, startling the rest of the class into motion with the loud shatter and his stern voice. Everyone leaves, and Glinda goes to follow, until she realizes Elphaba hasn’t passed her. She peaks back in the doorway, watching as Elphaba helps to pick up broken glass and flowers. They’re too far away to hear, but she watches both of them share a smile. Her stomach swirls. /// She leaves Elphaba alone the rest of the day, but when the sun sets, she escapes into the night. There’s a single light leading the way to the Animal staff housing, where she believes Dr. Dillamond lives. The road is rough. Those two things alone tell her all she needs to know about how the staff were really treated as she galavanted around in her days here. She peers around the house, not noticing any movement, though she can hear talking from inside the house. She thought she remembered Elphie telling her about coming out here, about all the animals that met that night. That it wasn’t just something Dr. Dillamond was suspicious about, but the other animal staff. Maybe she already missed the girl? Or maybe it was later? She thought she followed tracks out here but-“Galinda?”She almost yells, but Elphaba’s hand slides over her mouth before anything slips out. Her mind freezes on the fact this is the first time they’ve touched since… well, since before the melting. “What are you doing out here?”“I…” she stumbles for an excuse. How does she say, oh, I was following you out here because I’m trying to help you save all the Animals and Oz before I have to watch your demise again ! “I wanted to check on Dr. Dillamond.”Elphaba’s angry brows seem to shift into confusion. “You did?”“I did.” She sticks with her lie, brushing her shoulders. “I do care about him.”“You spent half of class today complaining about his pronunciation of your name.”She doesn’t have much to say to that. “I might’ve realized… what I was saying was unimportant, in the grand scheme of things.”She must’ve surprised Elphaba, because the girl doesn’t say anything else. Instead, Glinda watches her peak through the window to listen in. She follows shortly after, content to be silent. The murmurs of rebellion only keep her attention for so long. Her hands start to tremble as she feels Elphaba’s presence at her side. They haven’t been this close since before all of this. She can’t stand to wait any longer. “Elphie?” she questions, out of habit. Elphaba’s cheeks flush a dark green. She almost smacks her forehead.
Right, the nickname. 
“Can I call you Elphie?” She tries to correct, fearful of the magic tingling around them. “I… guess,” Elphaba says, slow, as if she can’t believe what’s going on. “What do you think about all this Animal nonsense?”There has to be a way, some way to warn her. “I don’t think it’s nonsense.” Elphaba’s stunned nature from the nickname retreats behind a cold stare, one controlled by her strong sense of justice. “This isn’t just rumors anymore. You saw what the chalkboard said in class.”“I was listening to the lecture. Dr. Dillamond said people look for someone to blame.”“Right, there-”“Who decides who is to blame?”Elphaba pulls off the wall, motioning her to follow. “I don’t want them to hear us.”Glinda nods and follows.“I don’t…” Glinda watches her try and answer her question. “People in power, I suppose.”“People like… who?”The magic prickles around them.Elphaba only stares with wide eyes. Glinda doesn’t think she’s ever seen her this speechless. Maybe once, during their short day in the emerald city, when her dreams of the Wizard crumbled around her. “Who, Elphaba?”“I guess, it could be anyone in power.”“Who holds the most power in Oz.”“The…” she trails off, fingers tapping at her side. She’s nervous, Glinda can tell. “The Wizard is the one approving laws, so I guess…”Glinda feels her head pound. She’s gone too far. 
Fuck. 
“Elphaba. Think. Why would the Wizard want control of the animals?”“I don’t know. This is only theories, we can’t prove anything-”“I can prove it’s the Wizard. I need you to trust me. We can stop all of this. We can fix Oz.”She grabs onto Elphaba’s shoulders. The magic is pulling her back, her vision flickering. The green girl leans back a little, but is giving Glinda her full attention. She’s forgotten the way Elphie stares when she’s passionate, how her brows furrow when she thinks. It feels good, just for a moment, to hold her gaze again. “Galinda, what are you talking about?”“I promise. I’m going to save you. You’re my best friend, and I swear-” /// She expects the headache that returns, laying once again in her pink bed. It’s too early- too soon. As much as it pains her, Elphaba wasn’t ready. And neither was she, really, at that time in her life.  Make it to the Ozdust, she thinks. And then things can be different.   /// She does it all again. She rides the boat with her parents. She watches Elphaba crumble under her father. She watches Morrible flock to Elphaba and Nessa. She volunteers to room with Elphaba. She tries her best to fight with the girl, but on more than one occasion, she stays silent and out of the way. Anything else leads her to tears that she has to shed alone. She is rude to Dr. Dillamond. She does it all the same. One morning, she’s getting ready, pinning her hair when a magazine flies up. She catches it, reads the title: Prince Fiyero of Winkie Country Spotted at Shiz!Her heart drops into her stomach. 
Fiyero.
Fiyero, the only person she really had in Emerald city. Fiyero, the only person to understand and defend Elphaba as much as her. Fiyero, who died by the hands of their supposed guards. She had almost forgotten him in all this, in all her running around to save Elphaba and the Animals. Her hands rip at the edges of the paper. She rushes inside and out the door, leaving her hair half pinned and her outfit wrinkled.Her vision shakes as she runs down the stairs, not paying any mind to the people she’s bumping into to get past. Fiyero, who didn’t deserve what happened to him. He was good, better than her, braver than her with this whole thing. She may not have loved him how they were supposed to love each other, but she did love him. His death broke her just as much. His voice is what she hears before she sees him. The low laugh he gives brings tears to her eyes. “Fiyero!” she yells out before she’s in his line of sight. He peaks around the sign, raising his eyebrows at the random outburst. “Why, hello there- oh!”She hugs him. Some students gasp around her. Some let out a sweet coo, as if they know that the two are perfect for each other already. The tears fall without permission, and she chooses to not let go. Embarrassing , her mind squeaks out, but she’s missed him desperately. “Uh,” Fiyero chuckles out. “Let’s go… yeah-”He shuffles towards a stairwell, not exactly pushing her off. She thinks, for a moment, he’s too polite and charming to do that, even to a total stranger. It only makes her cry more. “S-sorry,” she shakily says, backing up once they reach a private area. “I know- well, I don’t really know what to say.”Her neck tingles. A warning.  “It’s alright. I know I can make the crowds quite emotional. Not usually like that , but-”He looks so young here. So unburdened. Even if he was unhappy back in this time, it doesn’t compare to his deeply tired eyes and creased face when he looked for Elphaba. When they were together. The tears start coming again. “Don’t cry, please,” he tries, and then pats her on the arm. “I just,” her vision blurs. “I missed you.”“Do I- have we met?” he seems a bit speechless, like he feels bad that he can’t remember her. “No,” she forces out. “No, we haven’t.”He just stares with his mouth open, trying to find the words. Glinda knows she must sound insane. “Your name is…?”“Glinda,” she laughs. “Galinda. Galinda.”“So, Glinda or Galinda?”“I don’t-” she laughs again, wiping her face. She’s finally lost her mind.“You don’t know your own name? Oh dear,” he says, though there’s a smile on her face. 
He’s trying to make me feel better.
She goes to say more when she sees a green flash at the top of the stairs. Elphaba stands at the top, staring down with a quiet confusion. It brings her back into the reason she’s here, not to have fun with Fiyero, but to fix everything. To save him, and to save her. “I’m sorry,” she whispers, letting her face settle into something more serious. “You’re amazing.”His face slides into something more solemn too. Elphaba starts coming down the stairs. She takes the opportunity for what it is. “Fiyero, this is my roommate Elphaba,” she points to the girl coming down. Elphaba freezes as Fiyero looks up. He looks at her, and for a second, Glinda fears he’s going to say something about her skin. Nothing follows, only a polite hello and a wave. Maybe that’s why Elphaba favored him so much. “You guys have a lot more in common than you think.”Her neck tingles. Her vision blurs. It’s too late to save this, she recognizes. “I don’t understand,” Fiyero states, rubbing the back of his head. “The Animals need our help, and you two are the bravest in all of Shiz.”They stare at her, confused. “There’s so much we can do, together-” /// Her head pounds. Her body aches. She sits up in bed, eyeing the door. Again, and she sharpens her face in the mirror.  /// She does it all the same. Her excitement comes out in full force, first when traveling with her parents and then meeting her friends. Morrible ignores her as she shakily asks for a spot in the seminar, self control straining as she fights not to say anything. The only thing really stopping her from doing anything rash is that wild magic nagging near her neck, reminding her that she’s limited. She stares Elphaba in the eyes, along with the rest of the surrounding crowd, and forces the words out of her mouth: “You’re green!” She volunteers to share her room. She loathes Elphaba.She attaches herself to Fiyero by the hip. She watches his eyes flit over her roommate when he thinks she’s not looking, and thinks to herself, how did I never notice this before? She does it all the same. She bites her tongue around Morrible, around Dillamond, around her friends. She spends more time in the library than sleeping. She cries in private and mourns what she knew. She walks the line between who she was and who she has become, with years of confrontation and pressure and change and empathy embedded in between. It feels in Glinda’s control, though deep down, she knows it’s not.She’s spent years pretending to be something she’s not. She can do it for a little longer.  /// 
The cold air hits her before they even step outside.

It’s hard for her to care with a giggle slipping from her lips as Elphaba smiles, their arms linked together. The doors to the Ozdust slam behind them as they head for the docks.

Maybe Galinda had a little too much to drink- Fiyero made them quite strong- or maybe it’s the last of the adrenaline and guilt leaking from her skin into the night- whatever the case is, she can’t stop staring at the girl next to her.

The hat really does suit her, no matter what people say. She tries to say as much, but ends up flicking the edge of the hat, laughing when no words seem to form.

“How much did you drink?” Elphaba asks between breaths. Galinda watches the air puff from her lips, a byproduct of the cold.

She giggles and shrugs.

“Right. We should get back now.”

“Did you have fun?” she hears herself ask. Elphaba doesn’t look down at her, only drags her forwards towards the docks.

“Um,” the girl pauses for a moment, and Galinda feels herself sober, guilt returning tenfold. It was her fault- the hat and all. And everything before. She didn’t really mean it, it just- she never-

Maybe she’s too drunk to rationalize anything right now. She only squeezes Elphaba’s hand harder. Galinda doesn’t think she says anything, but suddenly Elphaba’s attention is on her and not the path ahead, a soft smile creeping onto her face.

“I did.”

Galinda feels herself light up. She stumbles into the other girl a little bit. Her heels hurt and she’s starting to feel the cold now and she’s sobering up to an awful headache, but when Elphaba smiles at her, she forgets it all.

“I think we’re going to be the goodest of friends, don’t you agree?”

“Greatest of friends, you mean.”

“We’ll be good together. I can tell,” she giggles out.

Maybe she’s drunk and exhausted and sorry, but she vaguely sees Elphaba’s cheeks darkening, vaguely hears an almost silent mumble of, “I hope.”
 /// The first time she doesn’t have to pretend is the night of the Ozdust.She’s vibrating with anxiety all day, feeling her heart pound every time she thinks of handing Elphaba the hat. She does, in the end, because she doesn’t think the universe would let her get away with not giving it to her. Besides, her biggest mistake led to her greatest friendship, so if she has to cringe through her own cruelty, she will. If she can just get to Elphaba, call her a friend, maybe she can change things. “Galinda,” Elphaba approaches where she fixes her hair in her room. She remembers this all so vividly, as it was the first time they really even talked on her side of the bedroom. “Nessa and I were talking… about you, and-”“And we were talking about you, too! How you should join us tonight!”“I don’t… I don’t follow-”Watching Elphaba stumble here, not out of fear or confusion but out of hope, almost crushes what’s left of her broken heart. “You could join us at the Ozdust!” She smoothes the tremble in her voice as best as she can, tearing her eyes off of Elphaba’s small smile. “Why?"“Because!” she chimes back in,” everyone will be there. And don’t tell me you have nothing to wear-”She eyes the black hat. Half of her keeps her hands planted at her sides. Why did she ever do this before? Jealousy? It feels so, so cruel. Crueler than she thought of herself back then, but then again, time erases memories and feelings and everything. Change can do that, too. Don’t do it, her heart screams.  Do it, her mind screams.  Do it, the magic around her screams. She grabs it. “You could wear this,” she forces a smile and holds out the hat.  /// Fiyero must notice she’s exceptionally on edge, because he hasn’t left her side all night, and hasn’t taken his hand off her shoulder. It’s not unwelcome by any means. Living this way has been exceptionally lonely. Dancing sort of helps. There’s a weird sort of half nostalgia, half deja vu she feels being back here. So many of her university nights were spent here with friends. Dancing to good music and being with them almost makes her appreciate getting to relive this. Last time, she drank to have a good time. Now, she drinks because she’s terrified of what could happen. She can’t bear to think about this night, even now, so to relive it? Terrifying. Fully and utterly terrifying. Even if it led to the best thing in her life. When Morrible finally approaches her, she tries to sober up as best she can to not make a fool of herself. When Elphaba walks in, her heart drops to her stomach. She believed this night to be perfectly stored in her memory, for better or for worse. Hearing how silent everyone becomes, hearing Elphaba’s quiet breath as she enters the dance floor, seeing the fear and disappointment and self-loathing- it slaps her in the face. Time has smoothed these memories, and they hurt tenfold. She runs onto the dancefloor before anyone can say anything more, feeling the alcohol float through her head. Elphaba clearly doesn’t expect it, but Glinda barrels into her anyways. She hugs the girl as tight as she can, feeling her shoulder become damp. Her own tears fall too. “What are you doing?” Elphaba finally asks, moving to pull back. Glinda tightens her grip. “Galinda?"“I’m sorry,” she chokes out. “You didn’t deserve that. You never deserved any of it. You’re good.”The other girl doesn’t say anything else for a moment. After what feels like forever, as they hug in their own bubble, she hears a reply. “Thank you.”She laughs and finally lets the green girl go, wiping her own tears, and then moving to Elphaba’s cheek. She’s gifted with a blinding white smile, and feels her knees go weak. Almost as if her awareness floats back into her body, she realizes the crowd still stares at the two of them.“What should we do?” Elphaba whispers quietly, going from a wide smile to a gentle one. “Let’s dance!”Elphaba dances. Glinda follows. Pretty soon, the whole school is following. The music’s back and the lights are dimming and people flood the dance floor. She watches Nessa come up to Elphaba, and they share a dance. Fiyero ends up back at her side, and she She watches Elphaba smile and laugh and decides it was all worth it. Maybe time made her forget the bad of the night, but she could barely remember the good: the creases in Elphaba’s eyes as she cackles out a laughs with her head back, the way her hair flows with every step, the way her hands move in a graceful manner to the beat. The things that really matter. Her mouth feels dry, so she stumbles to the bar. She’s chewing on her straw when someone taps her shoulder. “Galinda.”It’s Elphaba, all smiles.“Hello, Miss Elphaba. And how are you faring?”The green girl takes a spot at the bar next to her. “I’ve never been to a place like this,” she answers, looking around. Glinda follows her eye line, tracing the shelves of alcohol. She’s too drunk to continue conversing with the girl, but she doesn’t want her to leave. Her hand reaches for the opposing green one. “Let’s do a shot!” Glinda squeals. Elphaba looks at their connected hands. “Are you sure? It’s already late. I have some studying I need to work on tomorrow-”“Nonsense! Bartender,” she calls over, ”two shots please!”“I don’t know if you need that-”“Not to worry!” she affirms. “This is what must be done on a night like this!”Two shots arrive. They both stare at them. Maybe Glinda regrets her choice when they swim in front of her. “Well,” Elphaba starts. She grabs one, taking it in one breath. Her face stays neutral despite the alcohol. “I guess we should dance?She asks Glinda with a shrug, laughing a little. She feels her own face flush. “I’ll catch up, go find Nessa and I’ll be there!”Elphaba wanders off, and she turns back to the bartender. “Another shot, please.” /// Somehow, they make it back to the dorm room. Really, Glinda is surprised she makes it back in one piece, though she doesn’t remember it fully. Not until they made it halfway back to University in the boats, when the cold sobered her up. “It’s good to be back!” she exclaims. Elphaba laughs, and Glinda thinks she could listen to that forever. “This room is just so relaxing, don’t you think?”“What I think is you’re really drunk and you need to get ready for bed.”“Nope!” She presses a finger to Elphaba’s lips. “It’s time to talk.”“It’s almost four in the morning.”“We talked last time, we can do it again,” she says, feeling her letters slur out. She barely feels the magic tickle her neck. “Oh, we’ve done this before?”“Well, not exactly.” She tries to recover, shaking her head a bit more awake. Elphaba only gives her a sweet but concerned smirk. “I think you need some water.”A glass of water and a change of clothes later finds them seated on the floor. Elphaba sits across from her, legs crossed. She looks so, so young. So unburdened. She stares at Glinda as if she helped her whole life change that night- and it did, really. Glinda feels tears start to fall. “Oh, Galinda,” Elphaba stares at her. “What could be wrong?”“Everything,” she lets out. Her neck starts to tingle. “It’s all wrong now, and I don’t know how to fix it.”“Fix what?” Elphaba questions. “I…” she is suddenly aware of her neck tingling and her vision flickering. She tries to control herself. “I’m just tired.”“Have you tried sleeping?”The phrase sends her reeling: 
“Have you tried sleeping?” Elphaba asks.

Galinda is hunched at her desk, scribbling into a textbook that she isn’t even comprehending.

“That usually solves half of life’s problems. Mainly the one of being tired.”

“I can’t sleep now, Elphie. I have to finish this before tomorrow morning because it’s due.”

“And who’s fault is that?”
“The professors for having a Monday due date?” “How about you for going out until the crack of dawn last night and rushing to do it all today?”
Galinda scoffs. “That’s with a purpose- a fun purpose! Where I get to live and explore and not sit cramped in a dorm room all day.”

“Right. I can see the benefits you’re reaping from that choice.”

“If you won’t help me then leave me be!”

“You started this by complaining!”

“I can complain if I want!”

“You wouldn’t have to complain if you don’t stay out so late and get your work done earlier in the week.”

She waves her hand, feigning frustration. Elphaba only laughs.

“I’m going to the library. I’ll be back in a few hours.”

“Good riddance,” she smiles out.

Time flies by. Her hands cramp from writing. Her eyes slip shut once, just for a few seconds, and then again, for a little longer, and again, for-

“Galinda.”

Someone is shaking her awake. Her head peels off of the paper she was writing on. Confusion must paint her face.

“You fell asleep,” Elphaba explains.

“Dammit,” she curses out, before dropping her head back onto the desk. Elphaba only chuckles before shaking her again.

“You should go to bed.”

“Have to…” she mumbles. “Finish assignment.”

“I have a fear you won’t be working on it anymore tonight. Sleep should fix that.”

“If you say so,” Galinda says, though she makes no move to get up.

“Come on.”

Elphaba tugs her arm up, turning off her lamp, and shuffles her over to her bed. She falls into it rather ungracefully, and she’s asleep before she can say anything else.

She vaguely feels a blanket fall over her. There’s noise coming from her desk, but she’s too far gone to look.

In the morning, the paper is completed, placed perfectly straight on her desk.

“I think I love you,” she says aloud. Elphaba pats her on the shoulder.

“Don’t expect it again.”
 Glinda can’t stop staring at Elphie. Her freckles glow in the yellow and pink lamp light. There’s still remnants of her smile from earlier, sitting in small wrinkles near the corners of her mouth and eyes. Her lashes rest gently as the late hours of the night rest on her. “I love you, Elphie.”It’s silent for a long time. Her tears keep falling. Glinda can only stare. She’s missed her terribly, and seeing her here, in this time, safe and naive, makes the feeling worse. “You’re drunk.”The question sobers her faster than she expects. She doesn’t really remember saying it aloud. That doesn’t stop her from saying more. “You’re beautiful.”“I- I mean…” Elphaba stutters out.Glinda watches her open mouth, her dark cheeks. Maybe it’s the alcohol, or maybe it’s the painful knowledge that she watched this girl die in front of her and may never get her again, or maybe it’s both, but she surges forward. Their lips connect. Glinda barely pays attention to Elphaba’s frozen position, and only really thinks about it when Elphaba starts moving against her, with her. Her hands claw their way into Elphie’s hair. It’s softer than she last remembers. She drinks it all in, desperate for more. Elphaba’s hand travels to her back and it sends a shiver throughout her body. Her head starts to pound.Elphie is warm under her. Her mouth goes dry as she slides a tongue into the girl’s mouth. There’s a pleasant moan that comes from under her, and her arms go weak. “I love you,” she huffs out. “I love you. I’m sorry. I love you-” /// Her head pounds. I love you sits heavy on her tongue."Oz damn it."Everything is out of control. She can't stop herself from loving Elphaba. She can't stop herself from missing Fiyero. She can't stop herself from wishing this was her life again, that nothing mattered, and that she was blindly ignorant to everything around her. She can't stop herself from remembering."I can't keep doing this. I just can't," she yells out loud. "I can't do this alone."And that's how its always been, hasn't it? Glinda and Elphaba alone, separated, despite the green girl's words of, think of what we could do together. It's always been this way, so why is it so hard now?Her hands rub over her face, trying to soothe away the headache.I don't know what to do, she thinks. I don't know anything anymore. And that's how it's always been, hasn't it? Glinda following what other people say, doing what others do, not questioning anything, not standing bravely in her own path. So why does it feel so wrong now?She was given this chance. Not anyone else. She is not going to waste it. She is smarter than that. She has more to offer than other people give her credit for. She sits up, staring out the window. Determination fills where despair sat.Again, she decides. And she goes again.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

She’s exhausted- fully and utterly exhausted. It’s one thing to relive some of her happiest memories. It’s another to have to pretend this much over and over and over again. Glinda’s back at Shiz, and she’s doing it all the same, again:Keeping close with Pfannee and ShenShen, keeping appearances with her classmates, keeping in touch with her parents, keeping up with her classes. Keeping away from Elphaba.She’s determined to change things, though. She’s been able to change some things: her relationships to a degree, where she spends her time, what she does. Maybe she can’t outright say anything, but if someone else discovers the truth, that’s their prerogative. And lucky for her, Elphaba is the most determined person she knows.  She starts with a simple conversation about sorcery one afternoon. Elphaba’s just returned to the dorm from a lesson with Morrible. It’s still early into the semester, only a few weeks in. Fiyero has yet to arrive. They don’t talk much in the dorms. They don’t really talk in any timeline- not until the Ozdust. Nothing more than polite greetings and simple questions, like can I borrow a pencil and other things of that nature. Plus, the occasional snarky comment, but Glinda tries to steer away from those these days. Elphaba walks in silently while Glinda is finishing an assignment at her desk. She hears the door click and looks up at the girl, sending her a quick smile. The girl doesn’t do much back.She watches Elphaba pace over to her desk, dropping the sorcery books she carries. “How was your lesson?” she finds herself asking, breaking the tension. Elphaba takes a moment before looking back, like she can’t believe she was spoken to. “Oh,” she stutters. “It- it was good.”“Did you learn any new spells?”Elphaba still takes time to respond, like she’s waiting for Glinda to laugh or mock her or ignore her. “No. Morrible has me reading a lot right now. There’s a lot of history to learn with magic, apparently.”
The Grimmerie. 
“Strange,” she replies, not wanting to push it too far. Asking questions about magic, she thinks, is something she can push. After all, she only really bothered Elphaba in the beginning out of jealousy. “Maybe I’m not cut out to be a sorceress after all.”The room is silent once again.“It’s…” Elphaba goes to speak, before cutting herself off. Glinda can see the gears turning, even as she stares at the back of the girl's head, deciding if she can gush about something in the way she does when she’s really passionate. “It’s actually interesting, the more I learn about it.”It makes her frown when she remembers Elphaba had no one to talk to before the Ozdust. No one except Dillamond. Who was awfully well versed in Oz history, who has strong opinions about Animal oppression, who probably knows more about the Wizard’s faults than he would go around sharing. Hm.“Interesting how?” She pushes. “Well, Oz was formed from magic, way back then. If I ever work with the Wizard, I’d get to use all of the original spellbooks. At least, that’s what Morrible says.”“Has Morrible used all those old books before?”“I don’t know,” Elphaba answers. “It seems like it, based on our lessons.”“But she’s not in the palace helping the Wizard?”“I think she spends more time at the University teaching than casting spells.”“Even with all these Animal issues that Dr. Dillamond harps about? Shouldn’t she be using her magic to help the Wizard? Or shouldn't the Wizard be helping on his own?”A light headache is forming- her sign to shut up before she says too much. “I haven’t thought about that,” Elphaba ponders after a moment, voice quiet. She’s stumped, Glinda can tell.“Dr. Dillamond probably knows more than me. You should ask him.”It’s silent for a moment, Glinda finishing her assignment while Elphaba looks at her.“No offense,” Elphaba says, staring her dead in the eye. “I didn’t think you cared about history. Or even paid attention in class.”Glinda almost laughs at that, but holds her composure. “Oh, Miss Elphaba, I may not care about history, but it is my goal to become a sorceress. I pay enough attention to the things that are important.”She closes her books, content with their conversation. Elphaba stares at her blankly still.“I’m going out later with some friends. Don’t spend too much time studying.”She’s stepping out the door when she hears Elphaba mumble to herself. “What the-”The door shuts and she lets out a pure, real giggle. /// Her small conversation must’ve worked, because she doesn’t see Elphaba at all for the next two days.Well, she sees her in class and during the night, but the rest of the girl’s free time is spent either talking in Dr. Dillamond’s room or questioning Morrible. Glinda’s last class gets out around the same time as Elphaba’s sorcery lesson. She turns down the hallway leading to their dorm when she hears Elphaba walking with Morrible. “Did the Grimmerie really set the foundation for magic in Oz?”“It did,” Morrible sighs. “I hope you would know this by now, seeing as we’ve gone over this in some of the assigned books.”“I- I did the readings. Don’t worry. I’m only asking because,” she pauses for a moment, “it should be the strongest spellbook in the world, then.”“Indeed.”Glinda passes them, using all her might to avoid eye contact.“Then, why is the Wizard’s not using it to help areas of Oz? Like outdated infrastructure in Gillikin, or more rural areas in Munchkinland?”“The Wizard does a lot to keep Oz peaceful. More than meets the eye, dearie.”“But not magic?”Glinda can feel Morrible grow more frustrated by her darkening tone. She wants to stay and listen, but doesn’t want to get caught eavesdropping and spoil Elphaba’s chance at getting a real answer. It doesn’t matter what Morrible says. Elphaba is suspicious, all on her own terms.
It’s working.
She hasn’t felt this much hope since- since before her friend’s death. She goes into the dorm and her smile can’t be erased for hours after. /// Despite their conversation, one that Glinda counts as a big win, they aren’t friends. In that aspect, she can’t really speed it up. She doesn’t think anything would change Elphaba’s mind, except for the- what her friends would consider- grand gesture at Ozdust. That doesn’t mean she enjoys being rude. It isn’t even really mean, not compared to the things she’d used to say about her green skin and dark attire. It’s more… ignorant. Annoyed. Things of that nature. They mostly keep to themselves, even if Glinda questions her on occasion about magic. Somehow, in some way, this feels different than her other attempts. There’s nothing to surprise her anymore, no sick truths to be revealed that send her spiraling, and she’s more content to actually live like this is her life, rather than survive through. That doesn’t change the fact she’s been running and working for months now, whether it’s repeated or not. Her body is exhausted. No amount of sleep feels like it helps her recover. She really does try to relax and rest more; she’s repeated school so many times now that the assignments are something closer to memory. She goes out with her friends on occasion, but Fiyero hasn’t arrived to sneak them to the Ozdust yet, so there’s no real all-night ragers. Still.It’s exhausting to pretend in the way she did at this age. She’s in Dr. Dillamond’s class- one about some historical Animal rights thing. She tries to focus her attention the entire first half, because this is actually important for her to understand if she’s going to fix it one day. As she writes notes, her hands start to fall behind, her eyes start to slip shut, and she slowly arches her back until her cheek rests on the table.Glinda doesn’t think she falls asleep, rather, only rests her eyes. She can hear Dillamond droning in the background, but she can’t really pick up any words. It feels like only a moment, and then suddenly someone is lightly tapping her left shoulder. She sits up gracefully, too tired to be concerned with put-together appearances. Besides, it’s likely just Pfannee, who sits on her left, tapping her awake. When she opens her eyes, she realizes she is wrong. The classroom is empty. Dr. Dillamond isn’t even in the room. It’s not Pfannee tapping her, it’s-“Galinda,” Elphaba says firmly. She lets go once Glinda sits up, once she looks around. She must have confusion painted all over her face as she looks around, because she explains without blinking. “You fell asleep. In class.”“Oh,” she replies gently. She wouldn’t think her friends would leave her to sleep. Her face must be extra readable right now, because Elphaba continues. “I asked your friends on the way out if you were alive. They said you looked ‘so good sleeping’ and didn’t want to wake you up.” Ah, she sighs. The clock on the wall reads thirty minutes past class end time. Elphaba notices her line of sight, again.“I… I, well- I know you don’t normally have class after this, and I usually stay and talk to Dillamond or do homework, so I thought I could just wake you up on my way out, and I felt bad if I-”“It’s okay,” she says gracefully, ignoring Elphaba’s shy panicking and packing her things up. “I was more tired than I thought.”A silent thank you. Elphaba nods at her. They both head out the door, an awkward silence filling the space. Glinda tries to find something to say, something to save her from the embarrassment that has nothing to do with how much she wishes to call the girl to her right a friend, or something more. It’s Elphaba that talks first. “I’m sure someone could give you the notes, if you’re worried about that.”“I’ll get it. Don’t worry.”“I’m not,” Elphaba says straight. They reach the dorm room before much else is said. The sun is beginning to set, starting to set earlier and earlier with the coming winter. It’s almost dinner time.“Honestly,” Glinda mumbles to herself. “I don’t know why I’m so exhausted.”Elphaba quietly goes to her side of the room, which is considerably larger than her original space. Glinda isn’t heartless- at least, not as selfish. Glinda goes to her side too, standing near her bed, rubbing her hands over her temples. She assumes the conversation is done, until a quiet voice speaks up again.“Have you tried sleeping, you know, outside of class?”She laughs a little at the irony of the phrase, dragging her hands down her face. Elphaba only looks confused.“I have, actually.”“Oh,” Elphaba says. “And you’re still tired? Are you sick?”She shrugs, falling forward into her bed. Now that she’s thinking about it, her head does hurt.For a moment, she panics she’s being sent back again, but after taking a few deep breaths, she realizes it’s the normal kind of headache. Maybe the normal kind of chills, too. "Are you sick?” Elphaba asks again when she takes too long to reply, and Glinda sits up quickly at the proximity of the girl’s voice. Without her noticing, Elphaba has appeared at her side, looking a little more concerned than before. 
A little concern, and maybe a little disdain thrown in the mix. After all, we loathe each other. 
“I never get sick,” she says as she shakes her head. Elphaba is silent, and then, “it isn’t really my place, Miss Galinda, but I think you are sick. After all, you told me you pay attention in history, so I’m guessing you didn’t mean to fall asleep.”She smiles a nasty thing. “As astute as ever, Miss Elphaba.”She doesn’t mean to be rude, really, it’s just her head is hurting and her body is cold and she doesn’t know if she’ll ever be rested until all of this is dealt with. “I know myself, and I don’t get sick,” she argues. She knows there’s no real anger in her words. She’s only exhausted and aching all over. Elphaba takes a step back though, realizing her place. “I’ll leave, then,” she says sourly, making Glinda frown. She wasn’t trying to be mean, truly, but before she can try and mend anything, the girl is gone.  Whatever, she thinks. One more thing to fix later. And she falls asleep. /// When she wakes up a few hours later, it’s to her stomach grumbling and her back sticky with sweat. Based on the color of the sky outside, she missed dinner. Actually, as she looks around, she doesn’t even remember moving after falling onto the bed. Instead, she’s laying normally in bed, shoes off, blanket pulled up. There’s a cup of water on her end table, along with a tray of food. She is alone in the dorm room.The realization makes her irrevocably sad. It’s been a while since she’s cried, and being sick, she grants herself the chance to let it out. Her tears trickle gently down her cheeks, gathering at the edge of her sharp chin.  You’re good, she thinks about Elphaba.
You’re good, and I’m going to save you.

/// She wakes up again, a few hours later. Her body no longer aches. She’s no longer covered in sweat. She can think a bit clearer, even with puffy eyes from crying. She thinks she’s maybe a bit more rested, maybe a bit less stressed about this whole thing. Elphaba is in her own bed now, facing towards the wall. She can’t see her face, has no way of knowing if the girl is awake, and she speaks despite it.“Thank you,” she says quietly, voice hoarse from sleep. It’s silent for a while, so she assumes the girl is asleep. It isn’t until she turns back over that she hears a response. “You’re welcome.” /// Dr. Dillamond and Elphaba stayed behind after class for a while today. The chalkboard is still flipped over, the despicable evil red words scribbled across. Glinda spends a few hours pondering what she should do. Before, she was able to sneak down to the Animal housing and talk with Elphaba there. Despite being pulled away, she considers doing it again; she really only felt the magic pull at her when she desperately tried to convey information to the girl, rather than from being there. Or, she could stay behind, wondering what was really said that night, keeping distance from Elphaba. The easier option. The safer option.Elphaba wasn’t exactly happy with her still, wasn’t exactly happy with anyone this day with all of the distressing circumstances. She’s sitting on the balcony, school books in hand, when she sees Dillamond racing through the Quad, followed by Elphaba.  Screw that, she thinks. Her books are promptly dropped and she heads into the woods after them. “Elphaba,” she whisper-yells to the girl, who’s quite a ways ahead. “Elphaba!”It doesn’t seem like her call is heard, and she tries again:“Elphaba!”It’s only now she realizes the girl is gone from her vision, and she is fully alone in the woods. Now, walking slowly, it’s much scarier, with creeping shadows and a gust of whistling wind. Maybe it’s her lingering exhaustion from being sick, or maybe she’s finally snapping, but everything sends chills down her spine. Her arms wrap around her chest and she wishes she brought a jacket.  Calm down, she wills herself. Just keep following the path. Look! The house is right there! “Galinda?”“Oh!” she yells, flinging herself around. “Oz, Elphaba-”“Sorry! I was trying to stay quiet-”“Well, you didn’t have to scare me! I was trying to find you-”“Okay, well, you followed me out here? I didn’t mean to scare you-”“There were other ways to approach me, you know.”“Did I offend you that much?” Elphaba scoffs, making Glinda scowl, feeling the sentiment behind the words. “I don’t even talk about you anymore, you know-”“Oh, right, thank you, I should be so appreciative of you-”“Why are you so defensive all of a sudden?”“You followed me!”“Well, you scared me!”“Girls!”They both scream. Dr. Dillamond is standing next to them, clad in a wool sweater, looking bored. “Are you done?”“Dr. Dillamond-” Elphaba starts. “I’m sorry for following you. I just-”“It’s quite alright dear, follow me,” he responds, backing up silently into the Animal housing. Glinda is frozen, unsure of what to do. He must notice, because: “Both of you.”The house is more eccentric than she’d assume from the outside. Elphaba seems right at home among the mismatched sofas and piles of textbooks. She’s never felt so out of place. “I heard you whispering,” Elphaba says without wasting a second. “About the Animals.”“Yes, there are some…” he trails off. Glinda turns towards him, listening in, confused at the sudden silence. Elphaba is looking at him too, and it seems like they’re talking all on their own with only their eyes. Glinda shifts awkwardly where she stands. “You can trust her,” Elphaba says dryly. Glinda feels her heart swell, despite the girl’s indifferent tone, before focusing on the two in front of her.Dr. Dillamond clears his throat. “Yes, well, there have been some rumors of Animals losing… everything.”“Everything?” Glinda asks, though she already knows the answers. There’s no hum from the magic, though, so she contributes.“It starts with respect. It starts with forgetting the history. Now, it’s rights. Housing. A livelihood… the ability to speak.”Elphaba lowers herself in front of the Goat. Glinda can see the tautness in her shoulders, in the way she carries herself.“If Animals are losing their ability to speak, someone’s got to tell the Wizard. That’s why we have a Wizard.”A chill runs down Galinda’s spin.  No, she screams. How do I stop this? How do I stop this? How do I- “Has anyone told the Wizard?” Elphaba asks. Glinda freezes. “It’s…” Dillamond starts. He eyes her wearily again, and she tries everything in her power to convey how much she knows with her face. It seems to work. “It would be hard to not see it, if you looked.”“Do you think the Wizard is doing anything?” Glinda asks. “It’s hard to say.”Elphaba interrupts. “What do you think we should do?”“It’s all rumors, for now,” Dillamond sighs. “Try not to worry, dear Elphaba.”“Well,” Elphaba says, standing firmly. Glinda feels some distorted sense of deja vu that makes her rub her dress fabric. “The Wizard’s got to be able to do something. He has magic.”“Just because someone has the power doesn’t mean they’ll use it right,” Glinda chimes in, feeling her body tremble with nerves. Elphaba looks at her deeply- contemplative and a little unsure but hopeful- a look she hasn’t seen in what feels like years. She almost crumbles. “There is much to learn about the magic that developed Oz. I have plenty of books if you both take an interest.” A noise sounds from the door outside. Dr. Dillamond steps away, seemingly shutting off his well of knowledge. Glinda knows there’s more to share, and she aches to hear it. “That’s enough for now. You both should get back.”And after only a moment, the door is shutting behind them, and the girls are standing alone in the woods again. Neither make a move to leave, opting to look around. Well, Elphaba looks down, probably deep in thought, and Glinda can’t help but use this chance to stare. “That’s… all so scary,” she says truthfully, breaking the silence. “I don’t want to believe the Wizard to do things like that,” Elphaba replies. Glinda knows that’s just as honest as her statement. She remembers how much faith the girl placed in him, how much hope he gave her as a kid. “I guess we never really know. I’d like to think we had better systems in place.”Elphaba only stares at her. Glinda wishes she could know how the girl views her now compared to then: tamer, less naive, smarter in the ways that matter, yet still distant. Elphaba is silent for a while, thinking more, until she steps back towards the door. “You should go back. I’m going to see if he has any books I can take.”She bites her tongue to stop from telling the girl to be safe, to come with her. After all, they aren't exactly friends. Instead, she only nods, painting a contemplative smile on her face. Elphaba watches her walk back towards campus silently. /// The next day Fiyero arrives, and she greets him as usual. She watches Fiyero stare at Elphaba, with a kind recognition in his eyes. Did they meet before this? She can’t remember Elphie saying anything back then. “You met Elphaba, then?” she chimes in, watching the girl in question duck back into a book. “I would say I gave a rather bad first impression to her, last night.” Oh, she thinks, but doesn’t question it. She continues, feeling a noticeable lack of magic around her.“I’m not super close with her,” she lies (sort of),” but I’m sure you’d get along well. She’s passionate about the things she cares about. You should talk to her, seriously.”Fiyero says nothing, only stares at her and then the surrounding books. She can read him so well, even if she couldn’t back then. There will be time to change him, later though.For now, she pushes forward. “Some nights I find it quite boring here, nothing to do, nowhere to go,” she drags out, picking at her fingernails.“Ever been to the Ozdust Ballroom?” he asks, a sly smirk covering his serious look. He tells her a bit about it, and she nods her head rapidly, letting everything fall into place. “Save me a dance later?” she tells Fiyero as he stalks off.She smiles. The plan for tonight is set. She looks around for Elphaba- can’t help to look for her in every room- when Boq appears. The Munchkin is at her side when she turns, shocking her just a bit.“Miss Galinda? I hope you’ll save a dance for me tonight. I’ll be right there. Waiting. All night.”She smiles at his innocence. “That’s so kind, Boq.”As if on cue, she starts to point towards Nessa. Nessa, who went mad later on. Nessa, who gripped Munchkinland with policies so fierce, it wasn’t until her death that Boq was free. Nessa, who never got to thank Elphaba for everything, blinded by her own rage, who let the witch hunters take that anger to heart. She shouldn’t have pushed Boq in that direction in fear of hurting his feelings herself.“You know what? I appreciate you asking, and I would love to see you there. I’m terribly sorry though- I’m truly not interested in anything more than a single dance.”Boq looks flustered for a moment, but shakes his head and smiles despite her words.“It’s alright. Thank you for being honest.”“Of course. I hope we can still be friends.”He nods. “See you later, Galinda.”She waves after him. Something in her gut swirls, though it’s not guilt. It’s change- real, positive change. She revels in it for a moment, before walking over to Nessa, who’s sitting alone at a table. Elphaba must’ve fled the loud library already. “Nessa,” she greets. The girl looks up from a book and smiles. “Hello, Galinda,” Nessa greets back, a little nerve seeping into her voice.“Are you doing anything tonight?”“No, no, I don’t think so. Why?”“I think a bunch of students are sneaking off to the Ozdust tonight- a little time at the club never hurt anyone. Are you interested in coming?”Nessa looks shocked, cheeks flushed red. “Of course, I’d- I’d love to come!”“Great! We’re meeting at the docks at eight. See you then?”“Yes, see you then!”She goes to walk away, before remembering. “Oh! I’m trying to invite your sister as well. Do you know where she’s gone off too?”The surprise on Nessa’s face hurts a little. “Oh, Elphaba, I think she went to class a minute ago. If not, she’s probably somewhere reading. Or brooding.”There’s an edge to her voice that irritates Glinda. She knows their relationship, knew it well then and knew what it became later, as everything went wrong. “I’m sure she’s just gone to class,” she finds herself defending. There is no warning to be felt- the magic is silent. “I’m positive she’ll be excited to come.” /// 
The room is shaking before Elphaba walks in the door.

It’s shaking enough that Galinda slides from her vanity seat, grabbing a few perfume bottles that attempt to roll off the side.

“Oh, sweet Oz,” she mumbles to herself as the doors swing open.

Elphaba walks in- Galinda takes a second to admire her hard work with the outfit and hair before focusing back on the girl’s face- and slams the door.

“Elphie?” she tries to ask. Everything is still trembling, and Galinda can see anger pressed into her features. She can’t hold anything else in her arms as pictures and other trinkets tumble off shelves and desks. “Elphie?”

The girl gives no response. There’s a letter crumpled in her hand, and Elphie throws it to the ground, along with her bag, before stumbling into the bathroom.

It takes another minute or two of Galinda grabbing things before everything starts to calm down; the walls stop shaking, precious items stop falling, and a silence overtakes the room. She takes a deep breath, moving to set some things back in place.

Elphaba still resides in the bathroom, door shut. Worry starts to worm its way into her heart. Normally, Elphaba has control over her outbursts. It only ever really comes out if someone’s mean to Nessa, or says something ignorant about the Animals. To this level, Galinda can’t think of a single thing that’s been this bad.

She walks to the other side of the room. The letter sits in a ball in the corner, and she can’t take her eyes off of it. Her love for gossip is too strong, and she picks it up to read the labeling address:
To Elphaba; From the Governor
“Elphie?” she asks quietly, knocking on the door. She remembers their conversation after the Ozdust, where Elphaba firmly admitted that her father hates her. It was the first thing she’d really learned about the girl from herself, and it makes her feel angry when she thinks about it.

“Just a minute,” the girl replies quickly. Galinda can hear her sharp breaths, and assumes she’s trying to get the magic under control.

She remembers how, in the courtyard those months ago, the magic stopped once Elphaba was holding Nessa’s chair. She offers a solution:

“Do you want me to get Nessa?”

“No, please don’t,” Elphaba replies quickly. A light tremble through the walls starts up again, and Galinda feels her heart drop.

“I’m coming in,” she says, worry seeping into her voice, and doesn’t care to listen for the girl’s weak rebukes.

Elphaba’s leaning over the sink, hands clenched into fists on the counter. Galinda quickly runs a hand over one of them, getting the girl’s attention.

“Sorry,” Elphie apologizes quietly, taking a clipped breath.

“None of that,” Galinda replies. “Deep breath.”

Elphaba nods, taking a few deep breaths. The trembling stops. Once Elphie relaxes her posture a little, Galinda pushes in for a hug. She holds tightly for a few seconds, until the girl’s arms travel up her back, and then squeezes tighter.

They stand there until Galinda’s feet hurt, and then she’s leading the both of them to her own pink bed.

“You haven’t lost control in a while,” she starts, avoiding asking why. Elphaba may be blunt, but with matters of the heart, she’s delicate and jumpy.

“I know,” Elphaba says, wiping her fingers under her eyes. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to break-”

“Nothing broke. It’s alright. I’m more worried about you, anyways.”

She watches a dark blush settle over the girl’s cheeks. That could just be from crying.

“I’m fine.” Galinda gives her a sideways look, one she knows will accomplish her will with big brown eyes and a delicate frown. “It was a letter from my father.”

“What did he say?”

“Just- asked me to look after Nessa. As if he doesn’t ask me that every time I get a letter. Which isn’t often.”

Galinda frowns. Everything she’s heard about this man fills her with sour feelings. Her hands find the other girl’s.

“And?” she questions. She knows there’s more than that.

“I just don’t understand why Nessa doesn’t demand he has more faith in her, and in me. Neither of us should have to feel this pressure.”

The room starts to shake.

“It’s not my place to be mad at her. She deals with her own difficulties, I know. It’s not easy growing up with a green sister but- I just don’t understand why I’ll never be enough for him. Or why Nessa never says anything. Or why I’m left alone to deal with this when in reality, I got into Shiz on my own! I got invited on my own!”

Galinda remembers Nessa ignoring Elphaba, turning her head in shame when the girl did nothing but defend herself. She feels her heart break. She doesn’t have much to say- doesn't have a solution to solve years of familial tension. She does, however, know the girl in front of her- knows her well enough to remember the things that brought her joy as a child.

“Talk to Nessa later- you know nothing good comes from keeping secrets like this. You’re getting to meet the Wizard, Elphie. To get your heart’s desire. Don’t let him tamper this.”

Elphaba looks up at her, half teary eyed and half dreaming. The room quiets. Galinda feels her heartbreak, imagining this girl, one so full of hope despite it all, having to brace against disappointment all her life.

“Besides, you have half of Oz coming to wish you off in a few days,” she adds, hoping to get at least one smile back. 
You have me, sits in the silence of unsaid words. 
“I know,” Elphie leans in for another hug, smiling gently. “Thank you.”
 /// She still gives Elphaba the hat. She still feels sick leading up to it. She still lets the guilt spill from her fingertips as she hugs the girl. She still changes the girl’s life in one night. She doesn’t drink as much, fearing her loss of self control may have been a slight factor in her previous failure, and she finds herself committing more to memory: the way Elphaba’s eyes close gently as she looks up at the lights, the way their hands fit so well together as they dance, the way her green skin shines, despite her black dress.The way Elphaba looks eternally grateful to have a friend, despite how horrible she's been. They tumble out the doors again, laughing all the way. “That was amazing! I can’t believe I got through night life without ever going there!”Elphaba smiles, wrapping her arms across her chest. “It was different.”“Oh, I just love a big dance floor and a live band!” She yells, swinging around. She’s on cloud nine, finally back here again, but it’s different. It’s changing. Elphaba looks so content next to her she can’t help but run around. They can finally be friends."And you, Elphaba, I saw you dancing. I think you loved it even if you won't admit it."She spins again, panting, watching the air puff from her lips. Elphaba only stands and scoffs, but her eyes are lit up and her smile is wide. The urge to kiss her grows tenfold, but she shoves it down as a chilling wind blows over them.“I don’t love how cold it is out here,” she groans, stepping closer to Elphie. Yes, the dress she wore is amazing on its own, perfect on her body, but that doesn’t mean it’s good for the twenty minute trip back to campus in the freezing cold. They start walking towards the docks. Elphaba only laughs, a quiet thing that Glinda almost misses with the crash of waves against the wall. “We’ll have to come back soon,” she requests. Elphaba only nods, leading her to the boat they left. “Next time, we’ll have a proper getting ready party.”“With no black hats?” Elphaba asks after letting the words sit between them. Glinda can hear the reservation in the girl’s voice. Is this real, she hears Elphaba asking, are you really good? And Glinda doesn’t fault her, not after all this time. “I think it suits you,” she answers honestly. Elphaba looks out the front of the boat, but Glinda can see dark green flush over her cheeks. The boats are much colder, open water giving way to stronger winds. “Oh, Oz, I’m not drunk enough for this,” she complains, feeling a bout of shivers rack her body again. Elphaba’s already rowing alone, but she doesn’t think she can move to help anyways. “You could help me row, you know. It would get your muscles to warm up.”Glinda only tosses her hair. “Oh, Elphie, you must know me better than that.”“Elphie?”She feels her cheeks heat up. “Oh… can I call you Elphie?” The deja vu makes her spin. That could just be the last of her drink leaving her and the rocking of the boat, though. The smile she receives from Elphaba does nothing to clear up the confusion. “It’s a bit perky,” Elphaba says coyly. “It’s perfect!” Glinda yells. The cold bites her fingers and she shivers from her head to her toes. She whines. “I don’t think I’m going to make it.”“So dramatic…” Elphaba mumbles, before pulling off her hat and placing it on Glinda’s head. “There. That’s the best I can do. We could go faster if you… you know, helped me row.”“I can do something even better!”“What-”Glinda slides up to where Elphaba sits, letting the boat rock with a shift in weight. Her arms snake around the girl’s waste, and she lets her head rest against the back in front of her. Maybe she should be more reserved this early on, but she knows how much Elphie values touch. The other girl only sighs, relaxing into the hold.“Now we’re both warm,” she says, and Elphaba scoffs, but doesn't move away. Finally, she screams. She’s finally here. She can finally touch her. She’s so, so close to saving this after weeks and weeks and weeks of trying. /// “Back at last,” she yells, running to her side of the room. She’s never changed this fast before, shivering all the way, and Elphaba just laughs and looks away politely. “Oh my Oz.”She already feels immeasurably better, wrapped in warm silk and a pleated blanket. Elphaba hands her a warm mug of water, and her heart melts. “You are just delightful,” she thanks, sending the girl a sweet smile. Elphaba says nothing, only turns away with dark green cheeks. The mug in her hands feels amazing- she feels amazing. It feels like everything is paying off. They share secrets, as they have before. Though, this time she doesn’t talk about Fiyero. She talks about sorcery, about wishing she had real talent (about wishing she could fix this). Elphaba talks of her father hating her and Nessa standing silent to it, breaking Glinda’s heart again.“It's not your fault. That may be your secret, Elphaba, but that doesn’t make it true,” she urges, taking the girl’s hands in her own. Elphaba only shrugs, and Glinda knows there’s more behind her eyes. No lifelong pain is erased in one conversation, but she thinks of the time they have now. There will be arguments later, but there will also be time to fix it all.She remembers the crumpled letter, that time ago. “Maybe… maybe you should talk to Nessa about this.”Elphaba shakes her head. “I don’t want to worry her. She deals with her own things.”Glinda frowns. “People aren’t meant to go through these things alone. Nessa would understand. Maybe there are things she wishes to talk about, too.”Nessa, another Wicked Witch, ruined by grief and anger. If they’d only talk, they could understand each other so much more, fueled by empathy. Elphaba only stares at her, mouth slightly open. She continues. “I’m always here, if you want to talk. Now that we’re friends.”“Friends,” Elphaba mumbles. “Well yes, Elphie,” she smiles. “Friends. And you know what friends do for each other?”“Um…”“Makeovers!” /// She’s only lived this part out once. Everything feels a bit more risky, but then again, everything feels a bit more magical. Everything is the same: Glinda, Elphie, Fiyero, Boq, and Nessa. Everything is different: Fiyero is more involved and more serious, Boq isn’t constantly lying to her or Nessa, Nessa’s not wrapped in some tangled relationship with Boq or her sister, and Elphaba-“Good morning!” Elphaba says, sitting down for breakfast with the four of them.Elphaba is positively glowing. Glinda’s never seen her this confident before. Even her other friends, Pfannee and ShenShen and the group that follows them, seem to come around quicker to everything- everything being Elphaba and the Animals. She’s not afraid of ruining her influence anymore, and she finds herself defending things deeper and quicker. And she does it all without so much as a peep from the magic. She still remembers her limits, and stays within them, but everything feels easier as the gap between her knowledge and her peers’ knowledge shrinks with every passing day. Elphaba tells her, one morning, that she’s going to talk to Nessa. Glinda feels her heart leap. The girl is gone for most of the day, and Glinda shaves a line into the wood floors of their room from pacing. It’s almost dinner when she hears the door click open. “How’d it go?” She stands up immediately, watching Elphie shut the door. Elphaba smiles a wet thing. “She apologized. I apologized. We talked for a while, and I feel…”A few tears escape her roommate’s cheek, and she rushes over, engulfing the girl in a hug. “Oh, Elphie, I’m so happy for you.”She’s never seen Elphaba so light, so unbothered by her father, in the days that follow.She catches Fiyero reading a book on Animal activists in Oz. She catches him and Elphaba chatting in the library, on more than one occasion. She even catches him staying behind in history to talk to Dr. Dillamond. She can see Fiyero is smitten, and pushes down the same feelings of jealousy from back then: 
“People are so empty-headed they’ll believe anything!”

“Fiyero, keep your voice down-”

“I’m done keeping quiet about this. How do you just stand up there, talking about goodness all day long, and let them say those things about her?”

She pushes him, letting his words wash coldly over her.

“You think I like hearing them say those awful things about her?! That I don’t miss her every day? That I don’t regret-”

She takes a deep breath, willing herself to calm down before someone in the castle hears.

“We can argue about this forever, you just don’t understand- We can’t change anything right now!”

“Why not? You could go up there and clear the rumors. You were there when it happened.”

“I can’t… that doesn’t…” She thinks of the Wizard threatening Elphaba. She thinks of Morrible threatening her position. “It doesn’t work that way.”

“You’re letting it stay like this,” Fiyero says quieter. Glinda only feels anger. “You’re the one that doesn’t understand. In fact, I know you’re enjoying this- this parade of power. I’m going to find Elphaba and make things right. What are you going to do?”

“How could you say that?” She yells, sour. She thinks of the Wizard declaring her Glinda the Good. She thinks of Morrible running a hand down her arm, paired with a whispered ‘I’m proud of you’ and a wand being pushed into her hand. Everything she’s ever wanted. “I’m…”

“I know you’re good, Glinda, but not about this. Elphaba was your friend.”

They’re both silent. Her body aches.

“You love her,” she states, giving Fiyero space.

“It’s hard not to, even after all this time.”

Glinda hates the jealousy that fills her heart from his easy declaration, as though she hasn’t shoved these thoughts down for months now with every ignorant party she throws.

“You do, too,” he supplies. She shrugs, feeling the tears leak out. “So why aren’t you doing anything? Why are we still here?”

“I’m scared,” she whimpers honestly, letting herself crack just a bit.

“Me too,” Fiyero says, crouching to where she sits on the ground. “But that’s why I have to leave.”
 She doesn’t let anyone speak ill of Elphaba. Not even a private chuckle from across the courtyard can escape Glinda’s piercing glare and scoff. The rumors that were so easily believed by her classmates once Elphaba stole the Grimmerie fill her mind, and she does everything to stamp them out. She sees Fiyero defend the girl, and Nessa too, and she is hopeful.Elphaba glows, she thinks again. They are inseparable, and Glinda basks in every moment she gets. She’ll find Elphaba’s hand any chance she gets. Elphaba always leans in closer once she does. They’re better friends than ever before. They walk to class together. They go to the Ozdust Ballroom as a group. They spend time in fields of poppies and at the edge of river banks. They spar together and they eat together and even sometimes, Elphaba lets herself be pampered with a little hair style and makeup.If she calls her beautiful a little too much just to see the girl flush and stammer, that’s her prerogative. /// Glinda awakens with a racing heart. She knows what day it is. Elphaba’s face is bright as she fluffs up a bouquet of orange and red poppies. “Don’t you think he’ll love them?” she asks, smiling at her work. Glinda tries not to let her sadness show. Everything happens the same: Dillamond is rushing through his words, Elphaba morphs from concern to anger, and the guards rush in. The poppies fly, spreading magic, but- Oh. This part’s new. She is awake. Fiyero slumps next to her. 
Oh. It’s different. 
And on adrenaline alone, she rushes from her seat, grabbing Elphaba’s hand before grabbing the cub. “Galinda, what-”“We have one chance. We’re saving this Lion.”She thinks of the Lion she met. The cowardly one. How had he turned on Elphaba, after she risked herself and freed him?She can make it right, she thinks as she tucks the Lion closer, letting him tremble in her hold. They get to the forest in record time, neither of them saying much. There’s a little pond behind some grand tree roots, and Glinda feels safe enough to stop. “He’s still trembling,” she notes, setting the cub down. The Lion stumbles to the water and drinks from it. “We just ran out here, without a plan,” Elphaba says, panting, after a moment.“Well we had to do something,” she argues. “You put everyone to sleep, anyways.”“I didn’t take you for a fugitive.”“There’s a lot for you to learn then,” and she thinks of all the times she’s changed her decisions. Thinks of who she used to be and who she is now. Elphaba only stares at the cub. “That was impulsive. Even for you.”“Like you don’t ever cause commotion,” she says in a tone that’s a little too harsh than what she intends. She blames it on adrenaline, on feeling the danger of Elphaba’s choices. The girl doesn’t say anything back, letting the anger of flight fizzle out. She sits next to Glinda, near the water bank.“How come I didn’t fall asleep?” she says after catching her breath a little more. Elphaba is silent, staring at the Lion, who now comes to lay in the grass between them. His breath has evened out some, and he doesn’t seem to shake anymore. The girl runs her nails across his stomach, making him mew contentedly. “I… I don’t know.”Glinda thinks that’s an honest answer, but a small part of her wishes there was more to it. More secrets to share. Oz, she wishes more than she has in a long time. “You’re bleeding,” Elphaba says with a short breath. Her green hand comes to rub Glinda’s arm. It stings a little, but she doesn’t dare pull away. “Must’ve scratched you.”“Oh,” she says, not looking at the cut. Her eyes are locked on Elphaba’s green ones. They’re both breathing heavily from running, breath mixing in the middle. Glinda’s never been so entranced before.  I love you almost spills from her lips, but her neck tingles, just for a second, and she shakes her head. “There must be something we can do,” Glinda says instead, letting Elphaba continue the conversation. “I’ve been reading Dillamond’s books. I still have them- the ones he let me borrow, at least. From when we…”“Yeah, I remember.”They’re both silent. The Lion sleeps between them, and the small snores keep it from growing awkward. “Why’d you follow me that night?” Elphaba asks. Glinda only shrugs, unsure of how to answer. “I know you said you cared about magic history, I guess… but not me.”“I never… I didn’t not care about you.”“Yet you handed me the hat.”It’s the first time they’ve really talked about it. Glinda doesn’t think they ever did, back then; swept it under the rug with a newfound passion for one another.It’s too complicated to explain, and the longer she looks at Elphaba’s dejected eyes, the more she wants to spill everything. But she can’t, and time is overlapping in her mind, and it’s getting harder and harder to split herself in this way, past and present. “I was jealous,” she answers honestly. “I’m not really sure why. I never loathed you, Elphaba. And I’m sorry for what I did. I should’ve been braver. I should’ve stood up for you when it mattered. But, I can’t change the past, and I’ll spend a lifetime fixing it. I want to be your friend. I do care about you.”Elphaba looks away at that, probably shocked at her honestly. Glinda is a little shocked too, both at her words and at the fact that the magic isn’t pulling her away as she apologizes for things she’s done in the past and the future.  “Thank you, for saying that.” Glinda almost feels as if a little piece of her healed. At least if she can’t fix Oz, she finally got the chance to make things right with her friend. “What should we do?” Elphaba switches the topic as the Lion twitches awake. “I’m not sure. Maybe we should find someone to care for him. Someone to teach him how to be brave,” she answers. Thunder breaks the silence of the forest. Glinda freezes, fear striking through. Elphaba doesn’t look particularly disturbed at the risk of getting wet, but then again, Glinda never knew of her affliction in all their years of friendship before her death.She remembers the puddle, and the hat, and the bucket cast to the side. She remembers her knees digging into the wet concrete as she cried for her friend. “Glinda? Are you with me?”She shakes her head to the present. “What was that?”“I said I think there are some Animals living near the south of this forest. Dr. Dillamond mentioned some Deers once. I can bring him there and see if they can help.”“What about the rain?” she spits out. Elphaba looks at the sky. “What about it?”Glinda has to laugh mirthlessly. “We mustn’t get wet?”“Right…” Elphaba says. “We could probably make it back before our clothes get ruined, if that’s what you’re worried about. Morrible usually clears it before a storm hits anyways.”“Morrible,” Glinda remembers, ignoring the rest of Elphaba’s statement. “Right.”Elphaba stands, brushing grass from her knees and picking up the cub. “Shall we?”The weather clears before Glinda can think too much about it. They do find some Deer, who speak of others who can care for the Lion. They talk in hushed voices, though no one but their kind is around, but Glinda’s adrenaline flows nonetheless. Elphaba seems all too confident. 
Is this what her life was like as the Wicked Witch? Running and whispering with the occasional Animal?
“Take care of him, please,” Glinda says as they head back into the woods.“He’ll be a brave Lion in no time,” the eldest Deer says, shutting the door. The words settle her racing heart, and she is content to walk in silence with Elphaba The only magic tingling around her is her own joy when Elphaba intertwines their fingers.

/// Elphaba zips up her satchel closed, sealing away the collection of books Dillamond left her. It’s been only a day since they’ve rescued the Lion cub. The only questioning they’ve received is from Morrible, who found them missing. The rest of the study body is clueless. Even Morrible didn’t ask much, only what they had done with the cub, but Glinda must assume that’s because the professor knows Elphaba, knows her heart on the matter. She has to hold back from screaming biting words, running away with Elphaba before they get too deep. Elphaba seems more determined than ever before. She questioned Morrible on the Grimmerie and it’s magic when the questioning ended, asking about Animals. Glinda bites a smile back at this. There are purple bruises pressed beneath her eyes, probably exhausted from reading all night and day. Glinda thinks she mustn’t look any better, but for very different reasons. 
More like the stress of watching your best friend inch closer to their death every day. 
She shakes off the thought. She’s changed so much, she reassures herself. It can only be good, now.“Ready?” Elphaba asks, holding the door open. Glinda follows, tucking her purse over her shoulder. It’s time for their session with Morrible. When they get there, the room is arranged differently. Instead of objects and potions that Morrible uses to demonstrate, there are piles of books. The newness of it all sets Glinda on edge. They sit down silently, but Elphaba sends her a weary look, and she is grateful she’s not the only one confused. “Today, I thought we’d go over some ancient Ozian texts, since Miss Elphaba has expressed quite an interest in languages.”Glinda watches the girl perk up, almost excited to connect what they’ve learned from Dillamond and what’s historical. She has to stop herself from doing the same.“Oh, I have so many questions. Has the Grimmerie impacted how our works are translated? When did the Wise Ones leave it behind? Is there anyone who can read it and use it besides the Wizard? How many languages have changed the translations we have now?”“So eager,” Morrible chuckles. Glinda hates the small prideful smile Elphaba puts on at the praise. “Take a look at this book.”She hands over a small red journal. Glinda watches Elphaba flip through pages of old drawings, of recipes, of inscriptions. Morrible points when they get somewhere near the end. “Can you understand that, Miss Elphaba?”“Eleka… nahmen?” Elphaba stumbles out. Glinda thinks she sees a flicker of magic, faintly touching the air, but blinks before she can decide. She looks back up to Morrible, who is pulling the page back to look at it. “Remarkable,” Morrible whispers, but it’s so faint that Glinda doubts she even heard anything. “What about this?”“I…” Elphaba squints her eyes. “I don’t know. I can’t read it.”Morrible still has a smile on her face, confusing Glinda more. “There is much to learn from these books. Some are in languages even I don’t understand. Some are in Ozian, though, so it’s best to skim them all. Understanding these languages can help one understand the Grimmerie…”Elphaba sits up at that. “Can I start?”Morrible laughs. “I don’t think we could get through them all today, but what if I let you borrow some? For now, let’s work through this one on more complex levitation spells.”Glinda keeps her mouth shut and studies beside her friend. Morrible keeps glancing at her as though she’d spill all her secrets. She would, if she could. Besides, she doesn’t know what Morrible’s angle is here, letting them read ancient works. The hour is up before she can process anything, and they are carted out of the room.Elphaba clutches the new books in her arms. “That was amazing. Imagine how much we can learn about the Wizard and the old magic! There’s got to be information here about the Animals, like you said, Glinda.”“Yeah,” Glinda says, but her tone is polished. This never happened before.Elphaba skips ahead. She is terrified.

/// She’s awoken by a trumpet. The stress of the past few days keeps her eyes shut, until she hears Elphaba stumble out of bed. A gust of wind shivers her awake and she leans up, rubbing her eyes. The balcony doors are open.“Elphie?”She can hear someone is calling Elphaba’s name from the courtyard. She shoots out of bed, joining her friend, who has a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. Glinda steps into her side, and Elphaba wordlessly throws the blanket around her. Her face burns at the gesture before remembering why she came out here. A little green balloon floats in the distance. “Miss Elphaba!”Morrible is yelling from the ground, flanked by students.“The Wizard’s sent something for you!”Glinda freezes. 
We should've had more time. He never sent for us this early, did he?
Elphaba tenses at her side, but smiles still. “It’s time to prove myself, I guess.”“I know you can do it.” Glinda smiles as wide as she can, shoving down the trembles that shake through her. Morrible waves at them to come down. Elphaba gives her a thumbs up and turns, letting Glinda keep the blanket. “I’m afraid,” the girl admits once they walk back into their room, shutting the door to keep the cold out. “I’ve never been good at this. There's too much at stake.”Glinda knows the feeling.“Don’t be afraid. It’s the Wizard who should be afraid,” she parrots the words she heard so long ago. “You can change things, Elphaba. We can just go peacefully and get answers. Right?” I won’t let anything happen to you, is unsaid.Elphaba returns to her side, giving her a hug. Glinda holds on a little tighter than necessary. "Right."Things have changed, she knows now, but the adrenaline running through her only brings her fear. She glares at the green balloon flying towards them from out the window. The dark rain clouds in the background make her frown when Elphaba looks away.
We can fix this, she thinks, forcing herself to be confident. Together. /// She throws herself onto the train, not even entertaining the idea of pretending not to come along. They run around the car, checking out every nook and cranny. It’s all so excitifying, and even more so with Elphaba’s shy but awed reactions.  Adrenaline keeps the fear at bay, and Emerald city appears in the blink of an eye. “I guess time really does fly when you’re having fun,” Elphie muses, watching as the station starts to get closer.“I never expected you to say anything as cheerful as that,” she says, laughing.“You think I don’t know fun?”“I know you do. After all, I have to drag you into it on the daily. Otherwise, you’d stay in the room with your nose in a book,” she argues, feigning anger and crossing her arms.“Such hubris,” Elphaba sighs, crossing her arms to match. “Says you, the most stubborn person I know of.”Elphaba pushes Glinda in retaliation as she steps out the door, and she almost bumps straight into the train attendant with the small mustache. She only giggles, watching Elphie’s cheeks flush green with embarrassment. They both smile apologetically at the man before running down the street, under the bridge, and into the city. The lights hit her eyes before anything else, and it takes a second to adjust to the colorfully green landscape of the buildings. It’s loud and crowded and she feels her hand reach for Elphie’s. They’re intertwined before a single word is spoken. “We made it!” Glinda cheers, using her other hand to gesture around.“I can see,” Elphaba sighs back, but Glinda can hear the amusement in her voice. She nudges the girl’s shoulder. “It’s so… green.”“It so is,” she agrees. The castle sits in the distance, and she feels her heart spike just a bit. Elphaba looks in the same direction, letting seriousness drift over her face for just a second.The two are silent, as the look forward, thinking of everything they’ve discussed. Elphaba takes a breath, shifting her fingers in Glinda’s grip, and speaks. “I hope we’re wrong, you know. About the Wizard.”“Me too,” she says, and even with what she knows, she really, really means it. “Ignore that- let’s enjoy the day. We deserve it!”She remembers how much the day meant to Elphie, all those years ago. Her dreams within arms reach. Elphaba shakes her head, smiling at that. “You only want to go to the famous salons.”“Well, that may be one of the very perks of coming here! We can visit your boring museums later.” She knows her smile is gleaming, and takes advantage of a stunned Elphie, grabbing a green hand and dragging her through the main street. “Let’s go!”She lets herself have a little fun, putting her terrible fear aside to roam the city with Elphie, who can’t seem to stop smiling at everything green. After all, she doesn’t know what’s to come, and seeing Elphaba this carefree again is wonderful. 
/// The doors creak open. The monkey that greets them is immediately recognizable.  Chistery, she remembers. The last time she saw him was when she held Elphaba’s empty, torn hat in the puddle of water. A chill runs through her body, sending waves of goosebumps down her arms. Elphie must think she shivers from the cold, because she moves closer, tightening their arms together. Elphaba tries to talk to him, to say hello, and she cringes inside. The Monkey is silent, but motions for them to follow. They both move forward, but Chistery’s hand flies up, stopping Glinda.“She’s with me,” Elphaba commands, and after a moment, they move again. The green girl shoots her a smile.Her heart pounds deeper with every step toward the Wizard’s room, where everything fell apart, but she tries to smile back anyways. They pass more guards, all of which won’t reply to Elphie’s polite greetings. “I don’t think any of them can speak,” Elphaba whispers as he leads them down the hallway. “It could make sense, if the Wizard is who we expect he is.” Yes, Glinda screams in her head, yes, you get it now. There is no magic tingling around her. She is not changing anything. Elphaba is, and Glinda can feel them on the precipice of something new. Still, the closer they get, the more she starts to panic. These walls are all too familiar, wrapping her in memories of her time here: 
The guards are all shouting behind her.

Morrible’s hand is tight on her shoulder, leaving her no choice but to follow behind.

“Kill her!” they chant. Her body can’t stop trembling, partially from the cold wind that blows around them at this height, and partially because-

“That Wicked Witch will be dealt with,” Morrible finally says, breaking their tense silence.

“How do you mean?” she asks shakily, finding her words for a moment. Morrible lets go to stand in front of her, letting her cross her arms over her chest.

“How any traitor would be dealt with.”

She can’t stop the visceral chill from traveling through her.

“Elphie isn’t a traitor,” she finds herself arguing through her fear. “She only wants to help. You know this- you taught her!”

“And today she proved herself unworthy, stealing our Grimmerie. Unlike…” Morrible gives her a smile that feels just as kind as it does hateful. “... you.”

“What are you talking about?”

Morrible only chuckles. The guards are starting to go quiet behind them. Elphaba must’ve flown far enough away by now, leaving nothing but wind blowing behind her.

“Let’s get you to a room. We’ll discuss more of this… arrangement in the morning. The Wizard and I have lots planned for you.”

She hates the way her heart leaps giddily, if only for a moment, at the thought of being wanted- of being useful. Still, her fear for Elphaba, for her whole life, outweighs it all.

Morrible grabs her shoulder again, harshly, and she stumbles after the professor. They go down green stairs, pass green wall after green wall. Glinda can’t memorize it all fast enough, and she finds herself utterly lost.

They reach a large set of doors quickly. Morrible flicks her hand, and a few guards open the doors for them.

“Here you are,” she says, letting Glinda walk inside. “We’ll meet after breakfast tomorrow. We can talk about getting you back to Shiz then.”

The doors close behind her before she can ask anything. She stands there, for a few moments, frozen. The room is more grand than anything she’s lived in before. The ceilings are tall, there’s endless space inside the wardrobe, and her bed is gigantic.

It’s everything she could’ve ever wanted. 
Curiosity breaks her shock, and she walks back to the door and tries to open it. The handles shake with a clatter, but don’t move. 
It’s locked.

It’s only then that her mind processes it all. Elphaba’s gone. Shiz is over. She knows too much, has no choice but to fall in line with the Wizard. Her knees buckle onto the cold tile of the floor.

It’s green, she thinks morbidly, laughing at how everything in the castle is green, everything in this city is green, and yet, Elphaba didn’t belong.

Her sobs are silent as she shivers on the floor.

“Oh, Elphie,” she cries out to no one. “What have we done?”
 Her breaths are short and quick. The familiar green walls around her are blurring and she tries to focus on Elphaba walking in front of her, but she fails. There’s a loud ringing in her ears, and suddenly it all feels too big. She can’t change anything. There is nothing she can fix. Everything she tries is useless, leading her back to Elphaba’s death followed by her damn pink bedroom. Things are different. It’s too unpredictable. She can’t keep anyone safe and- “Glinda.” Green hands slide into both of hers. “Breathe with me.”She does as she is told, gasping in air.“Breathe,” Elphaba says again, softly. Her thumbs rub over Glinda’s knuckles, giving her something to focus on. It’s a few minutes before her breath is somewhat normal, and words can come out. “I’m- I have a bad feeling,” she admits without saying much more. She can’t really explain it all, how awful it felt to live here without Elphaba, how awful it felt to be alone here, how awful it felt to watch Elphaba leave and how awful it felt to hear her die. “It’s going to be okay. We’re together. The only thing we’re doing here is getting answers, like you suggested.”“Of course, it will be,” Galinda argues with a sense of deja vu, tilting her head up. Chistery waits for them in the doorway. Despite her words, she doesn’t continue walking. “It’s going to be okay,” Elphie says again, pulling her closer, letting her head fall into her neck. “I won’t let anything bad happen to you.” What about you, she longs to scream, but the doors to the Wizard’s chambers open slowly. Fog rolls through the crack, signalling his machines and mask are up and running. “Shall we?” Elphaba asks.And they walk in. ///It goes the same as she remembers:The Wizard greets them as the Head. The Wizard greets them as a man. Glinda, then, watched in awe as he did magic tricks with Elphaba, as he showed them all the cool magic around the room. Glinda, now, watches with a smile painted on her face, and fear hiding everywhere else. This time, she can see Elphaba noticing too, with subtle glances at the more questionable things they find. Glinda knows if she was alone, questions would already be flying, accusations would be stated, and Elphaba would be changing things. She’s not though, and Glinda can only account it to her friend’s will not to harm either of them now, to keep them somewhat in the Wizard’s good graces through polite manners.  It’s changing, she chants to herself. It’s working. They follow his lead, though. Everything goes well, more or less, until he asks what Elphaba’s heart's desire is. There is no hesitation now:“I want to help the Animals. Something bad is happening to them.”The Wizard smiles, making a chill run down Glinda’s spine. “I thought you might say that. It’s the darndest thing, it’s almost like, like I already know you’d say that.”“If you feel that way, why has nothing been done already?” Elphaba questions, and Glinda can only watch as everything changes. The Wizard looks surprised.“My dear, Elphaba, things have been done-”“Such as? There have been no changes in legislation, no protections, no support for the Animals who are losing everything.”“I-”“They’ve lost their jobs, their livelihoods, all for nothing. Why has nothing changed? No laws? No… magic?”There’s a rustling from the side, and Morrible comes storming out, clutching the Grimmerie. Glinda steps closer to Elphie as her heart pounds. “That’s enough!” Morrible yells. “Watch your tongue with those in charge, Miss Elphaba.”“I’ll respect those in charge when they use their power to change things! I’m only asking why nothing has been fixed, if you both really know what’s going on? Especially you, Madame Morrible, after we’ve debated these things for weeks now.”Objects in the room start to shake at the outburst. The Grimmerie glows and opens in Morrible’s hands. Everyone is silenced at that. Glinda tugs her closer.“Elphie…” she mumbles as a warning, trying to help her get her magic under control. She’s terrified they’ve gone too far, that they should’ve bided their time helping the Wizard before taking control. Elphaba understands, it seems, and takes a breath. Then again, despite Glinda changing through all this time, confident she would’ve said yes all those years ago when asked to leave, Elphaba could only have said no to staying. She is not one for the long game. Glinda can see that is something that will never change, so if they have to dive in headstrong now, they will. Together, this time. “I’m sorry, your Ozness. I am only concerned that nothing has been done to help the Animals, and that the division between us all is only growing,” Elphaba gets her voice under control. The room stops shaking around them. Morrible and the Wizard are both silent for a moment, eying each other. It makes Glinda uneasy. “I told you, she’s powerful,” Morrible says, smiling coldly. “She can read it, too.”Elphaba steps back. “Read what?”“The Grimmerie, of course. Our ancient text,” the Wizard answers. “I had her read some of it in our lessons. And now you see how powerful she is.”Glinda feels the blood drain from her face. She remembers the letters Morrible had Elphie read, back when they questioned her about ancient languages- really a way to learn about the Grimmerie itself, both for the Animals and Glinda selfishly.“I can see that. It’s exactly what we need, don’t you think?” He asks the two girls. They both glare. “Need for what?” Elphaba says, taking a step back. Glinda moves closer, feeling the girl’s heart race in her palm.“Your power is what we need to get Oz under control. Starting with some… levitation help.”Morrible moves towards them, opening the book. Glinda tries to pull Elphie back, but her feet are planted firmly. Elphaba pulls her hands out of her tightening grip.“Read this spell,” Morrible says, pushing the book into the newly freed palms. The pages turn and flip until the horrendible wing page rests open. Glinda wants to scream out, tell Elphaba to stop, but magic tingles lightly at her neck.  Don’t, it warns. She can’t, so she doesn’t. “And if I refuse?” Elphaba challenges. A clapping comes from behind Morrible. The Wizard walks closer, smiling. “I can see that this isn’t going to happen easily. I liked you- both of you, actually. I could see so much potential, but here we are.”“I won’t be using the Grimmerie unless you explain everything. Actually,” Elphaba stands taller, “why don’t you cast this spell?”“Elphaba,” Morrible grits out. “You know the answer to that,” the Wizard replies. “Just as you knew how I’ve done nothing to help the Animals.”He gets closer, whispering to Morrible to go get something. The professor walks off with a small smile spreading. “Madame Morrible told me you were smart, Miss Elphaba, but you might be the only person to have challenged me over any of this. Most people are satisfied with it.”“Except the Animals, then?”“Well, that depends. Chistery here is all too happy to have a united Oz, aren’t you?”They all turn to look at the Monkey, who only bows his head. Glinda can see his face is sour, and Elphaba must see it as well, because she hears the girl take a deep, deep breath. “Something about politics, Elphaba, is that the best way to unite people is to give them a really good enemy.”Glinda thinks of the celebrations of the Witch Hunters, the propaganda spread through every small town in the form of large banners and songs and rumors. “Even at the expense of others? At the expense of those who are different?”“That’s a pessimistic way of looking at it. This is all for good! I’m sure Glinda, here, can see the benefits of what I’m saying. Don’t you?”Elphaba doesn’t turn to look at her, only glares at the Wizard, pushing Glinda farther behind her. “I’m not casting any spells for you. You don’t deserve to have the Grimmerie. You don’t deserve to be in charge. And we’re going to tell everyone the truth.”“Very well,” the Wizard sighs, “but I think you’re going to regret that.”Morrible comes back out, wheeling a crate draped with a sheet behind her. “Fortunately for you, I am a sentimental man, and I’m willing to offer a second chance.”“Tough. I’m not helping you. We’re going,” Elphaba says, grabbing Glinda’s hand and stepping towards the door. The Wizard snaps his fingers. Chistery blocks the door, holding a staff. Glinda only feels empathy, watching the Monkey’s eyes drift downward. She remembers how complicit she was with it all. She remembers how vital he was in Elphaba’s rebellion.
Why is he following orders now? With the truth shared?
“Attention back on me, please,” the Wizard chuckles. They spin to face him, farther away now. “Thank you. Like I said, I am willing to offer a second chance.”“Like I said, no way,” Elphie counters. “I think you’ll change your mind, dearie,” Morrible says, standing in front of whatever she rolled in. “Because?”Morrible pulls the sheet.Glinda feels her heart drop. Elphaba fully stiffens, and Glinda hears her breath escape her. 
Dr. Dillamond, in a cage.
“Dr. Dillamond!” Elphaba exclaims, moving forward in an instant. 
Dr. Dillamond, silent. 
“What have they done?” Elphaba yells again, running. The room starts to shake again. “Don’t come closer,” Morrible warns, pulling out her wand and pointing it at the Goat. “Elphie!” Glinda screams, grabbing her arm to stop her. Everything is changing, in none of the ways she wanted. “You are all wicked!” Elphaba states, fists shaking at her side. “I am working to unite Oz here, Elphaba. It only depends on how you look at it.”“Uniting Oz by trapping and hurting and limiting Animals?”“No need to make it sound so brutish. All I’m asking for you to do is cast the spell. Then, depending on how it goes, I’ll free this little goat.”“He was a professor, not some farm animal! It always starts with one group, before moving to the next and the next! How much of Oz are you trying to restore and how much of it are you trying to control?”  Glinda takes a look back at the doorway, trying to see if there is any way they can escape while Elphaba argues forward. There’s no windows, no obvious doors besides the one Chistery is guarding. Instead of his firm stance before, he has a grimace etched into his face, staring at the ground.  Chistery will help, she realizes. He knows what is right, just as he did back then. “Cast the spell,” Morrible chimes in. “I won’t,” Elphaba says again. She opens the book, and Glinda watches as the pages flip to the winged one again. “I know this isn’t just a levitation spell. I can read it, after all. Thanks to you.”“It doesn’t really matter what it is. Your job in helping Oz is to cast spells from this book.”“I already said I won’t be helping you. You can’t keep us here.”The room stills. The Wizard has a sour smile that sends Glinda into a panic. “That’s too bad. I do believe in second chances- and maybe even third chances.” He moves his eyes from Elphaba to Glinda, a knowing look cast her way. “As I’m sure you do, right Glinda?”Her breath leaves her, body trembling. “Kill him,” the Wizard orders quietly.All at once, Morrible aims her wand and with a single flick-“No!” Elphaba shouts. Glinda is frozen in fear. There is a scream, and then, silence. Dillamond lays still in the cage. “NO!” Elphaba screams louder, staggering backward. The Grimmerie drops to the floor. There is another scream, one less human. Glinda watches Chistery leap from his position near the door, baring his teeth to attack. The Wizard steps away as other Monkeys flood through the door, chanting in unison. Morrible aims her wand again, and with another flick-Chistery falls where he ran, hitting the floor with a thump. The other Monkeys freeze.“No!” Elphaba yells. “Stop!” Glinda yells. “I suggest everyone calms down,” Morrible yells to the Monkeys who are standing in the doorway. “Lest this happens,” she points to the Animals lying dead near her, “to you and your families.”No one moves, and the room becomes entirely silent. The Wizard claps his hands. “I tried to ask you for help nicely-”Magic bursts from Elphaba, sending everyone flying to the ground. There’s a ringing in the air- Glinda can’t hear anything. Elphaba is leaning over her, mouth moving, but she can’t understand anything. Before she can register what’s going on, she’s being lifted onto her feet with the Grimmerie shoved in her hands. Elphaba grabs her hand and pulls her. They run out the door before anyone else can recover.  Everything is going wrong, is the only thing she can think as Elphaba leads them through rooms and hallways, avoiding everyone else.
Everything is going wrong. It’s not supposed to be this way. What have I done?
They reach a room with a staircase, panting from the excess running. Glinda finally focuses on the present again, and realizes this is the same room where they departed years ago. The irony burns down her throat as she swallows. The room stays silent as they catch their breath. Glinda struggles to find words, struggles to decide what to do now, when she hears it. Elphaba is crying- sobbing into her hands. The Grimmerie is dropped as Glinda runs over to hug her. “Elphie,” she tries, feeling her own tears build. “What have I done?” Elphaba cries out, pulling at her hair. “What have I done?” “No, this- you…”“I’ve killed them both. I’ve ruined our chances at fixing this, all because I couldn’t stop asking questions and listen for once-“No!” Glinda interrupts, holding the girl tighter. “Elphaba, this isn’t your fault. This, it’s-”She can’t find the words, because even if it’s not Elphaba’s fault, everything is ruined. Dr. Dillamond and Chistery are dead, and there are no second chances for either of them. “What have I done?” Elphaba mumbles out again, letting her cries fill the silence. Glinda feels herself cry, too, and feels Elphie intertwine their hands together. She tries to come up with things to say, to comfort the girl around her, but her own exhaustion and grief are stifling. She succeeded- she changed things, and yet, it’s all gone sour. “Citizens of Oz,” yells a buzzing speaker from outside the building. “There are traitors among us. They have stolen our Grimmerie, and have terrorized the Wizard, killing two innocent Animals in their invasion.”They stare at each other, listening to the screams of guards outside and the scraping of metal swords. Elphie looks pale- as pale as a green girl can be, anyways. Her eyes are crazed, guilty, fearful, angry. She’s sure she looks no better. “They must be found and captured! They are evil, trying to tear Oz apart. They are Wicked, through and through!”It’s silent once the broadcast ends.“This can’t be happening,” she whispers under her breath. Elphaba must hear, though, because she crumples again.“I’m sorry,” she cries out. “It’s all my fault.”“No,” Glinda says, hugging her again. Her shoulder feels wet where Elphie’s head lies. “It’s not your fault. It’s… it’s-”
My fault. Everything is my fault. 
“It’s-” she tries again, but there’s a familiar feeling tingling in her neck. “It’s-”The Grimmerie glows from where it was dropped on the floor, catching her attention. “Maybe there’s a spell here that can fix it,” she says, flipping through the pages. She finally has the Grimmerie in her hands. There has to be something about time magic inside. She can finally read it!“Try looking, Elphie,” she says quickly as she hands the book over. “Please.”Elphaba looks like she’d rather do anything else, but Glinda pleads with her eyes. She flips through some of the titles, tears silently rolling down her face. “L-levitation, flying, transformation… time.”Her heart stops. “There! We- we can reverse time, or- or-” Read it, she begs. Read it. Elphaba is silent for a moment, skimming the page. Glinda thinks she is going to be sick. “It doesn’t work in that way,” Elphaba finally says. “That’s not what it says.”“Well what does it say? We should try it-”“Don’t you get it! We can’t fix this with magic! We came in blind and naive and overconfident and look where we ended up!” Glinda is silent as Elphaba sits back down, closing the book, hope disappearing in an instant.“It’s all my fault they’re dead.” Elphaba sobs again. “Who knows what the Wizard will do now to get back at us.”She thinks of using Nessa to lure out the Witch. She thinks of Morrible killing her in secret, sending Elphaba on a rampage.“It’s the Wizards fault. Not yours,” she decides on. “We’re only trying to help- only trying to change things.”“What good is changing anything if the only people who care about you get hurt?” Oh, she thinks as her face twists in pain. She thinks of Elphaba giving up her dreams of the Wizard to try and change Oz. She thinks of Elphaba running back to her sister after the news of her death spread. She thinks of Elphaba giving herself up after Fiyero was killed, after Glinda found her in the castle, vowing to help change things. 
Is that all this is? Some sick, twisted way to show me I can never change? That I will never be brave enough or strong enough to change anything without hurting someone?

Can I change anything for good? She yells in her own mind. 
The only answer she receives is a growing tingling in her neck, and a forming throb in her head. “It’s not your fault, Elphie,” she stumbles to say. “It’s mine.”Her neck tingles. Elphaba pulls back, shock and pain written across her face. Glinda’s heart breaks for what feels like the hundredth time. “How could you think that? You’re good, Glinda. Maybe the only good thing about me.”No matter how much she’s changed things to save Elphaba’s life, it’s not worth it when the same girl is sobbing over the consequences. She knows Elphaba wouldn’t want this, in the same way she didn’t mean to hurt anyone as she tried to change things. She decides, then, to end it all.“It is my fault. And I’m so, so sorry.”“Glinda, what-”“I made everything change, I’ve- it’s complicated. I can’t even really describe it myself.”Elphaba stares on, confusion filling the space of grief. “I’ve done this all before,” her head pounds, “It happened differently, originally. No one died. No one except… except…”She cries before she can finish. Her hands shake, but she is not being pulled away, and she quickly thanks the magic around her for giving her a little longer. “You’re saying you’ve… what- time traveled?”She nods. “And this has all happened before?”“Yes, but never in this way. I’m only changing things to try and save- save-”“Who?”“You,” she spits out, feeling her body tremble. “I’m trying to save your life, but nothing I’ve done is working. Nothing big has changed, except for this horrendible day, but this feels so, so wrong, and I-”They are both silent for a moment. Glinda can barely hear the commotion outside through her own cries. The guards are looking for them, banging on the doors. They’ll need to leave soon, but Glinda knows it’s pointless to run.“Why?”Elphaba is standing in front of her now. “Because I love you, and you’re the only thing I can never save. Not in any timeline.”Elphaba reaches out, runs a hand under her chin, forcing her to look up from the ground. Her eyes are big, grieving, but blown out with hope.“You love me?” she asks quietly.“I can’t do anything less,” Glinda admits, letting the truth sink into the room. It’s Elphaba that kisses her first, not the other way around, and she doesn’t think anything has ever felt this amazing. There’s all the passion that was missing between her and Fiyero’s brief pecks, all the time that was missing in her and Elphaba’s few kisses over the years, and she already despises the moment that it will end. She can’t stop the sigh she lets out as Elphaba pushes her against the wall, clawing into her hair. The cold air makes her shiver, but Elphie is warm in front of her, and the difference makes her dizzy. She only holds on tighter- pushes deeper. They break apart, after what feels like an eternity, for Elphaba to breathe. Glinda moves to kiss again, ready to forgo air to have a little longer, but Elphie laughs and rubs her fingers across Glinda’s hungry lips instead.That’s all she’s allowed to have, for now. She can see Elphaba stopping for Glinda’s sake, and as much as she hates it, she’s right. It’s not time to gather more memories to ache over. Her tears resume falling.“If I… if I die for good, to make a better Oz, then that’s how it should be. This is bigger than just us,” Elphaba argues into their silence. “Can you change it again? Back to the way it was?”Her vision starts to flicker. Despair starts to claw its way up from her stomach. Elphaba is right, though. This is bigger than the two of them, no matter how much Glinda wishes it could change. Oz was changed for the better, back then, if only because of Elphie’s death.“Yes. Things will happen normally again. None of this will matter soon.”“Good,” Elphaba says, a sad smile forming on her face. A few tears escape her eyes as they crease. “We might not get our way on this one.” Glinda laughs a little, before accepting the hard truth. “But we can save Oz. I have been horribly selfish, and I’m sorry you had to reap the consequences. Back then, and still now.”“It’s not selfish to not want to be alone. You taught me that.”Glinda shivers at the truth. Her body is freezing, but she can feel the tug of magic pulling at her neck, letting her know time’s almost up.“Will you be okay?” Elphaba sobs out, running her hands down her arms, trying to warm them.  No, she thinks bitterly.“Yes,” she says out loud. Because she will have to be.“I don’t doubt it. You are the strongest and bravest person I know. You can change things for good, Glinda. I know you can.”Glinda feels Elphie wipe tears off of her cheeks. She tries to commit the soft touch to memory.“I love you, Glinda, and I always will. You are never alone. Stay strong, my sweet.”She chokes on her own saliva, laughing and smiling as Elphie does. Her vision is white. “I love-” /// Her head pounds. “No,” she cries out. “Please.”Her hands shake through pink sheets. The morning light feels dimmer than it has before, and she should know- she’s been here more times than she can count now. A reflection of her desperation.  You are never alone, the words ring in her head, sending chills down her back. “I’m sorry,” she admits, over and over again. She cries more. “I’m sorry.”Elphaba may tell her she is strong, but she’s not. She wants to fix this for herself. She doesn’t want to give the world Elphaba’s sacrifice, wants to keep her close and safe and away from everything. It’s not her choice though, just as she could not stop Elphaba from leaving all those years ago. Everything she believed was wrong- it’s not about her. She cannot change anything but herself now.“What are you trying to teach me? What do I do now?”She receives no answer. Her eyes have never felt so heavy, bones never felt so tired. “I give up,” she admits. “Are you happy now?”The universe does not reply. She feels no tingle of magic. Silence, then. Maybe she is truly alone. “Galinda. Are you up yet?”She goes again, with the painful feeling of Elphaba’s fingers across her cheek, of Elphaba’s lips on her own. This time, she changes nothing.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Everything passes in a blur. If someone asked her the date, at any given point the past few weeks, she would have not an inkling of an idea. Everything feels fuzzy, like her brain can only understand half of the stimuli thrown at her. She arrives at Shiz the same as always: pink family boat filled with pink luggage and her parents dressed in pink. She pretends to act shocked at Elphaba’s contrasting green. Truly, it is a shock to see the girl, when she remembers being pushed against a wall with fingers cascading through her hair before being ripped away. If she could, she would’ve dropped down and begged the universe, right then and there, to end this cycle. She doesn’t though, because she can’t. It’s not like she has any tears left to cry, anyways. Her friends mock Elphaba, and she tries her best to say something- anything to agree with them. It falls more flat and more sad than she intends, but Elphaba loathes her the same. Morrible doesn’t let her in the seminar and she doesn’t try to learn anything about the magic involved in her situation. She’s just exhausted. /// The sun sets behind the towering walls of the dorms. Glinda stumbles back to her suite. She hasn’t been back since the morning, too swept up in the day’s events to go nap. Pfannee and Shenshen haven’t left her alone all day, constantly bumbling beside her. A group of students came to ask for help on a project, and another few asked for her help with… well, all in all, she didn’t have any free time. And she didn't exactly try to make any. Despite her choice in this, she is exhausted. The room is quiet when she returns, besides Elphaba gently flipping pages of a book that is far too big to read at this hour. She almost thinks the girl doesn’t notice her entry, so engrossed in her book and probably harboring the urge to ignore Glinda, until she speaks up. “Where’ve you been?”Her heart stumbles embarrassingly at the idea that Elphaba was looking for her- paying attention to her- even back then. Or now, she supposes. Her eyes feel so, so tired and she quickly gets herself ready for bed. “Busy. I had classes and then had a few meetings, and then…”Elphaba surely doesn’t care about all this. “It was a long day,” she sighs, more to herself than anyone else. She doesn’t feel Elphaba’s eyes on her anymore, so she opts to stay quiet, finishing her night routine. It isn’t until she’s laying in bed, finally letting her muscles loose, when her roommate speaks again.“You don’t have to volunteer for everything, you know.”It takes her a second to answer. They never talk outside of polite greetings- never talk seriously this early. “What are you talking about?”“You seem to be involved in a lot of things. Clubs and such… helping students who ask.”Oh. She supposes she has been doing a lot- well, she doesn’t think of it as a lot compared to her younger self. Honestly, the days pass so fast she barely remembers what she does. It’s all passing in some sort of dissociative blur. It’s all better than sitting and remembering. “Maybe so,” she replies politely, rolling over to turn off her pink lamp. It’s starting to give her a headache. “I’m going to sleep now.”“Good night,” Elphaba says, short and dry. Her eyes drift shut before anything else is said.  /// She groans herself awake. Her memories, packaged in the form of dreams, attempt to float into her consciousness before she pushes them away with a whimper. The room is bright through her eyelids, and even without opening her eyes, she can see there’s light coming in. Did she really sleep until the next morning?One eye opening tells her that she did not. The window near her bed is still black, and she can see the moon over the tops of the buildings. “Is the light on?” she mumbles, disoriented. Elphaba must be surprised at her voice, because it takes her a second to answer. “I have mine on. I thought you were asleep.”“I was,” she responds. Her head pounds, but she thinks closing her eyes again will send her back to places she wants to forget. Instead, she leans up, taking in the room. Elphaba is sitting up in bed, reading. “What time is it?”“You should go back to sleep,” Elphaba says with a sigh. Glinda doesn’t like the annoyed tone she’s getting at this hour. “What time is it?” she repeats. “It’s past midnight. Time for sleeping.”“You’re still awake!” she argues back, letting her stubbornness out for a moment at Elphie’s hypocrisy. “I’m choosing to be up,” she says with a flush in her cheeks. Her book snaps shut. “You’re…”“What?"“Are you okay?”“As good as always,” she replies honestly. Elphaba’s tone is light, and she feels bad for her attitude all at once. It’s easy to forget that Elphie’s never had a friend before her, or a roommate for that matter. Time is so jumbled in her head. “That’s not saying much.”“Excuse me?” She’s surprised at the girl’s blunt words, even with their loathing.“I’m only being honest. Unlike you,” Elphaba squints her eyes, letting the book fall at her side. It looks like she’s not letting this issue up, much to Glinda’s dismay.“What is that supposed to mean?”“Do you ever sleep through the night?”"What?”“You’re always tossing and turning. It’s loud.” Elphaba distinctly refuses to look her in the eyes, and a little anger flares again.“I’m sorry my sleeping habits are disturbing you this much-”“That’s not what I was trying to say.”“Oh really?”“Yes, I was-”“Why bring it up then?”“I was only trying to ask if you were okay!” Elphaba seems out of breath, like she forced the question out. She wonders if she’s really been sleeping that badly this whole time, keeping her roommate awake in the early hours of the morning. She can’t deny the nightmares, or the times she wakes up panting before stumbling to get a glass of water. Elphaba stares at her with eyes filled with something akin to concern, and a whole lot of loathing. She shakes her head, trying to rid herself of her exhausted anger and the feeling of bags under her eyes, painting on a smile. “I’m sorry. That was unbecoming of me.”“No kidding.” Elphaba snorts, but finally looks at her in the eyes. “Truthfully, I haven’t really been…” she trails off.“Sleeping well?”
Doing well, in general, Coping with your death multiple times. Feeling myself fade away a little more, day by day. Watching the world destroy you. 
“Yes.”Elphaba doesn’t say much to that. It’s not like they know anything about each other. For all Elphie knows, Glinda is sleeping poorly from her dresses being wrinkled.“Sometimes my sister would have trouble sleeping. I used to give her this tea that helps you relax a little better. I could… find some for you if you want,”“That’s very kind of you,” she says, with a thankful flit to her voice. “Perhaps I will look into it.”Elphaba only nods, letting the vulnerability disappear from the room. She shuts the book before leaning to turn the light off. The room is properly dark now, and Glinda can feel her headache relax a bit. She thinks the conversation is over, watching the girl tuck herself into bed, until Elphaba finishes with one last word.“Try to get some rest.”It’s so caring, Glinda could cry. There is no reason for Elphaba to be kind to her. Was there ever a reason to be shown kindness back then? It would be so easy to let the words ‘I love you’ slip from her lips. It would be so easy to cave into a friendship and crawl into the other girl’s bed. Alas, she doesn’t. Instead, she tosses and turns until she tries copying Elphaba’s deep breaths. Her eyes finally slip shut with a little bit of peace.  /// It turns out a few nights of uninterrupted sleep does do wonders for the mind. The next night, a box of teas appears on her dresser. Thankfully, they do keep her asleep for hours at a time.She feels a bit brighter, looks a bit shinier, walks a bit lighter. Everything feels less burdensome now and more… apart of her life. Elphaba hasn’t said much else to her, but Glinda hasn’t exactly made the effort either. She’s not changing anything, she repeats to herself again and again, but then she catches herself sitting silent when her friends make jabs at the girl. She’s not defending her, per say, but the truth is she is changing things. She’s not egging them on. And she doesn’t have it in her not to. Not after being reminded of the girl’s kindness.Everyone is on edge this afternoon. Dr. Dillamond’s board had the horrendible words again, and there’s less chatter flowing in the quad. Glinda steers clear of Elphaba, afraid to see the girl’s shaken face, and she ends up spending time in the dormitory commons rather than elsewhere. She’s not sure if she’s ever been here before, and she realizes quickly that she definitely hasn't when she hears Nessa and Elphaba arguing around the corner. “Why can’t you just sit quietly?” Nessa yells. It’s not loud, so the girls must be close together, but Glinda can hear the anger seeping into her voice.“I don’t understand why no one else said anything! Those words were obviously targeted, and no one did anything,” Elphaba replies. Her voice is much quieter, walking the line of stoic and explosive. Glinda hates that she has to repress her own anger, remembering the chairs flying and the glass shattering.“Do you ever think there’s a reason for that? That standing up and yelling in class won’t do a thing?”“It would do something if more people were willing to speak up.”“You’ve always been so frustrating!”“You act as though I do this to offend you,” Elphaba retorts with an exhaustive sigh.“But you do! I was coming to Shiz- on my own to start my own life- and now you’ve ended up here, causing as much trouble as you did back home! Why can’t you understand that I don’t want you here!”Silence. Glinda can hear a pin drop, and her heart burns hot and angry. She knows all of this about the two girls; Elphaba has told her enough in every lifetime for her to feel empathy for them both, even if she always took Elphaba’s side. But now, she only feels angry from hearing it first hand. Her pen starts clicking in and out, fast, trying to keep herself from running over and pulling Elphaba away. “That’s a shame you feel that way. You know I’m not doing any of this to spite you.”“Elphaba, wait-” Nessa starts to backtrack, but Glinda can hear Elphaba’s voice get louder. She must be walking this way.“I have Morrible’s seminar. I’ll see you at dinner, if you want to see me.”“Fabala, hang on-”It’s too late. She watches Elphaba walk around the corner, tears pooled in the bottoms of her eyes. They make eye contact for a moment, Glinda feeling a frown paint her face. Elphaba only wipes her face quickly before jerking away and storming out the doors. A part of her, the biggest part, wants to run after her, to console her, but she remembers the girl usually stays in the seminar until dinner. Another part of her wants to start berating Nessa, who seems to be frozen in the hallway. Glinda can hear sniffles, and she lets some of her anger fade out. None of this is easy. She should leave them alone. She shouldn’t do anything. /// Elphaba walks back into the room. Glinda honestly didn’t expect to see her until after dinner. She was about to walk down to the dining hall, actually, but she takes her time brushing through her hair while the girl drops her things off from class. She eyes the girl dropping a heavy stack of books, hitting the table with a resounding thump. All of the books read titles relating to magic, and she almost laughs at the way she used to be jealous. She doesn’t expect conversation, and Elphie seems just as fine letting the silence between them stay. Nessa’s words float back into her mind, and she takes another look at the girl. There’s a crease between her eyebrows, one that appears when she’s overthinking. “Hey,” she calls. “I’m sorry you had to see that,” Elphaba says, ignoring her greeting and speaking shortly. “Pardon?”“Nessa and I’s… conversation. I didn’t think anyone was around.”“Oh,” she feigns confusion. “That’s alright. It’s not your fault.”“Right,” Elphaba agrees. She almost drops it, until she watches a frown deepen on the girl’s face. “It’s not really my place-”“It isn’t.”“But I think an open, honest conversation would do you two wonders.”“How would you know?”“I think you forget that every pair of siblings fight. You’re not different in that regard.”“Well, most of them aren’t with a green verdigris. That must change some things.”“Certainly, but that doesn’t-”“I don’t recall asking for your advice,” Elphaba snorts at her, turning away. Glinda tries to keep her voice steady, to reassure she’s not looking to pick a fight.“I’m not telling you what to say, or when to say it, or how to say it. Only that some things are worth listening to, and Nessa seems like she has a lot to say, regardless if it’s right or wrong.”“You only get this time once. Wouldn’t it be better if you could both just say what you want to say? And let your relationship be something a bit more joyful?”“I’ll think about it,” Elphaba finishes, pulling on a coat before heading towards the door. Glinda gets up from her vanity to follow. “That’s all any of us can do, isn’t it?” /// “Thank you.”It’s late now. The moon shines through the window as they get ready for bed in silence. Back when they were younger, these moments of empty conversation were so uncomfortable for her. She remembers hating it, and also hating the girl in her room. Now, it’s relaxing just to listen to Elphaba’s breathing while she pampers herself, a reminder that the girl is alive, even as they argue during the day. She wonders how Elphaba feels about it: the time they spend together in complete silence. “What for, exactly?”“For talking to me about Nessa earlier. I talked with her a little after dinner.”Her heart skips a beat, trying to keep her face neutral. “Oh? And it went well?”“Yes.”Elphaba seems to be leaving it there, not particularly interested in sparing her more details. Glinda doesn’t push, remembering her limits. Besides, she doesn’t want to change anything. Not too much, at least. The thought of Elphaba running off crying at her own sister's words is too painful, though, and she lets herself do this much. “That’s good.”Elphaba nods, staring at her for a second more as Glinda looks at her gently, and they fall back into a comfortable quiet. /// Fiyero sweeps in the next day, looking just as laid back and yet as unhappy as always. She musters up her most flirtatious glance, though her heart is not in it. Not even to be close with an old friend, to feel some sort of connection in this lonely existence. Neither of them seem to be trying too hard. Maybe they never did. He talks of the Ozdust, of the scandalocious things to be done there, while she pretends to pay attention with rapt interest. Elphaba is sitting with Nessa at a table, and she has a hard time keeping her eyes off the annoyed girl. She wishes she could just go sit down next to her, to fall asleep against her shoulder. The second Fiyero stalks off, and once Elphie finally becomes fed up with the noise and exits, Boq appears. “Would you save a dance for me?” he says, the same smile. A part of her wonders what would happen if she said yes. “That’s so kind,” she replies. After all, his feelings are real in this world, no matter how many times she’d been through it. “But…”Nessa is sitting alone. She should stick to what happened. She should tell Boq to march over and ask her out, and let the rest warp to the history that’s already been laid out. She thinks about how unhappy Nessa was before her death. She thinks of Boq being stuck, before losing what was left of his heart. Then, she thinks about how happy they were the last time she’d done this. Separate, different, changed, but better. She thinks of trips to the fields, to the lake, and how easily Nessa grew her confidence on her own and how easily Boq was able to get over his own unrequited feelings. She swore she wouldn’t do anything differently, not wanting to risk another time when everything goes wrong… but…“But… I’ll have to decline. I’m sorry.”Boq looks sad- he always does- but he shakes it off quickly. “Thanks for being honest. I’ll see you tonight?”“I’ll be looking forward to it,” and she finds herself meaning it. Boq skips off as she beelines for Nessa. “Nessa?”“Yes?”“Join me at the Ozdust tonight?”The girl’s joy is infectious, cheering ‘yes’. She can’t help but crack a real smile at that.She walks out of the large library doors and into the sun. A deep sigh escapes her lips. Where this random determination came from, she couldn’t guess. Perhaps she couldn’t swallow her own guilt and let things- bad things- happen that she caused herself. “You alright?”Fiyero is there, leaning against a post. His smile is gentle but wild. “Peachy,” she says with a smile, and she almost-kind-of means it. “You look like you’ve just changed someone’s life,” he comments with a laugh. She shakes her head. “You have no idea.”“Right…” he trails off, rubbing a hand through his hair. “Well, since this is all so perfect-”He points between the two of them.“-would you accompany me to the Ozdust tonight?”Her mind tells her to say yes. Her heart tells her otherwise. She thinks of Boq and Nessa smiling at her. She thinks of Elphaba glowing with joy. “You know as much as I do that we could be perfect,” she says firmly. Fiyero looks shocked at her boldness, but she knows he appreciates it. “It just doesn’t feel…”“Right?” he finishes for her, no trace of disappointment on his face. “Yes,” she confirms. She doesn’t think she can force herself through another round of playing the perfect girlfriend. She’d much rather spend her time alone. Or with Elphaba, really. She’d much rather be honest from the start because Fiyero deserved better- she deserved better. “Though, I’d still love to attend with you.”“As friends?” He tilts his head.“As friends,” she parrots. “Perfect friends, at that.”He leans off the pole with a single kick of his leg, sauntering over to her. “I suppose that’ll do.” He takes her hand and gives it a gentle kiss. “I’ll pick you up tonight.”“I’ll be waiting. I'll save a dance for you.”Fiyero drops her hand slowly before walking away. There’s a gentle wind around them that helps to sober her up from her own memories. She feels more awake than she has in weeks, letting a tiny, tiny seed of hope plant into her heart. “And Fiyero?”He looks back quickly, eyebrows up, as if he was waiting for her to say more.“There’s a lot more to life than dancing through. I’ve had to learn the hard way.”His smile fades just a bit, and she can see him fight to paint it back on. No words come her way; instead, he nods before strutting off towards the dorms. There’s just the gentlest tingle of magic in her neck, but it dissipates as quickly as it comes. Maybe she got a bit too close, too fast. Maybe she’s an idiot for trying to rewrite everything again after the last time. Some things are worth changing, she decides, shoving away the memories of her own heartbreak and remembering the joy of everyone else. Some things are worth fighting for. Is this how Elphaba felt, flying from Emerald City in a swirl of emotions, leaving behind her whole life? Leaving Glinda behind?She feels some solace in the fact that she’s not alone.  /// Elphaba’s never looked more alone, and Glinda’s stomach feels sick. 
“You are never alone.”
This all feels more like betrayal than anything, but it must play out this way. Her own actions must have consequences. Hers are just a bit more painful that she remembers them to be. The lights swirl around them, though the music has disappeared. The air feels completely still in the worst way possible, everyone holding their breaths through mocking words, waiting for the green witch to make her move. The black hat sits on the floor, and for a moment, all she can see is the empty hat sitting in a puddle of water in that castle. She might’ve fallen to her knees if Fiyero wasn’t there with a hand on her shoulder. The memories shake off when Elphaba picks the hat back up. She finally makes eye contact with the girl and sees all the anger and loathing and disappointment and wishing wrapped up in a single glance. She doesn’t take her eyes off of Elphie. She watches confusion as she steps into the circle.She watches anger as she tries to stand up for her with a weary frown. She watches hope as Glinda tells off her friends, louder and bolder than ever before, as they start to move together.She watches years of grief as they hug with Glinda’s hand rubbing away each tear.“I’m sorry,” she whispers. The words tumble from her lips so easily now, and though she’s said it over and over again, in this lifetime and the ones before, she finds herself meaning it still. She could apologize everyday and the guilt of everything would always pin her back down. Elphaba takes a deep breath and hugs her tighter. “I forgive you,” she says, just as easily as the breath she took. She can never believe how quickly the other girl’s words fall out, but maybe they were destined for this: Glinda begging for forgiveness and Elphie offering with a gentle desperation.“It’ll be different now,” Glinda assures. “I promise.”“I believe you.”And Glinda will make sure of it. They pull back from the hug, a bundle of tears and smiles and the gentle fluttering of something new, when someone taps Glinda’s shoulder. “Pardon me, Galinda?”It’s Fiyero, looking sheepish and sweet in the purple and blue lighting. “Care to share a dance?”The drums kick in, and reality sets back in. People are chattering all around her, lights and music fill the air, and Elphaba stands in front of her smiling. She should go dance with Fiyero, and let Elphie talk to her sister. “I know I promised you,” she decides to say, “but do you mind if I share a dance with my new friend instead?”Elphaba’s eyes widen and Glinda can tell how much the words mean. Fiyero only smiles, as if he knows how the story must go. “Of course. You look lovely, Elphaba.”The girl shrinks under his glance, nodding back. She tries not to let jealousy flicker.“Galinda too?” Elphie interjects quietly, gesturing at her pink dress.“She’s all but defined fashion at Shiz,” he agrees. “I’ll leave you two to it. Save a dance for me later?”He makes himself scarce, leaving Elphie and Glinda to giggle against each other, surrounded by other students. “You can dance with him, if you want. I can handle myself.”As if this was out of pity. “I want to dance with you, Elphie,” she says. “Elphie?” She finds herself blushing even after all this time. “That’s a bit perky.”“I think it suits you. Come on!” Glinda pulls the girl into a spin, ending the questioning there.“I’ve- I’ve never danced before.”“Feel the music around us. Focus on me.”Green eyes meet brown. For a second, she forgets where she is, swept up in something that looks so familiar but feels so distant. Then, Elphaba spins with a giggle, and she feels her heart fall just a little more. “I’m trying!” she giggles. Glinda lets go to spin herself. “Like this!”She laughs and bumps her hip, sending Elphaba away a few steps. As if on cue, they swing back into each other, magnets drawn together. Glinda tries her best to lead the stumbling girl, and it seems to work when Elphaba looks a bit more carefree, throws her arms and legs around more, takes another drink.They dance and dance and dance and Glinda saves every laugh, every smile, every touch for later.She doesn’t get to really talk to the girl until they are leaving hours later:“You said you never danced before.”“Good memory.”“Well, that wasn’t true.”“Oh?”“No, you danced before that. Right before that.” Alone hangs in the air between them.“I suppose I did. I wouldn’t really count that.”“Why? You were being yourself."“I don’t know if that was a good thing.”She wants to say more, but it’s not the time. Fiyero’s beckoning for them to get on with the boat. It hits her that they stayed here all night, when before they usually stumble out on their own. There is time to say more later, when they’ll talk about dreams and family and fears in the safety of the dorm room. “You were amazing out there. By yourself or not.”“I guess I had a good teacher.”“So you’ll come back then?”“Debatable.”“Oh come on, Elphie! If you could do it by yourself, you can do it whenever!”“Just because I can doesn’t mean I want to," she says, and then a little quieter, “I had more fun with you, anyways.”Her heart flutters, and she leans in a little closer, cutting the bite of the water-blown wind.  /// 
She finds Elphie asleep at her desk. A quick peek at the clock tells her it’s far too early for the girl to be sleeping. By the looks of it, it wasn’t intentional.

There are papers scattered around, books open to marked pages, and a line of pencil going down the center of the page, as if she dozed off while actively writing. Galinda smiles at that.

“Elphie?” she says gently. The girl seems to be deeper in sleep than she thought. The rose Galinda set in her ear earlier that morning is tucked behind her ear. Freckles litter her skin, while her glasses sit at the end of her nose.

She truly wasn’t lying in the mirror when she whispered the words beautiful. It’s only been a day since then, but she’s thought it for far longer than she’d admit to anyone.

“Elphaba,” she calls again, a bit louder, and taps the girl. It’s enough to wake her, because in an instant, she is at her feet.

“Galinda,” she greets, wiping the drool that’s stuck to her chin. “I must’ve…”

“Fallen asleep? I gathered that.”

Elphie laughs a bit, nervously, though Galinda doesn’t know why.

“How was the rest of your day?”

“Unproductive,” Elphaba answers quickly, her focus returning to the book and pages and notes across her desk. “I have to ask- how do you manage to do it?”

“What?”

“Go out all night and stay awake to get your work done.”

She smiles at that. So naive, she warmly thinks.

“You want to know my secret?”

“Yes,” Elphaba pulls out the desk chair, ready to continue working.

“I don’t finish it all.” Elphaba looks back at her, mouth falling open.

“You don’t do it?”

“Of course I do it- how else would I have made it to Shiz?”
Elphaba ponders that. For a split second, Galinda almost feels anger at being underestimated, but she lets it fade into forgiveness. Going from loathing to… this is quite a new thing for her. Most people fall at her feet. 
She likes this challenging feeling.

“I don’t finish it all- not at once. Sometimes you just have to rearrange the rest of your week to fit it all in. And I don’t go out often, you know. The Ozdust is a once in a lifetime kind of party.”

“Good thing,” Elphaba confirms. “I don’t think I’d survive another one.”

Guilt tickles her stomach for a second, before remembering the fun night-slash-morning they had together. An idea pops into her head.

“I know!” Galinda leans over the desk, laying across the scattered work. Elphaba drops her pencil with a sigh, raising her eyebrows to signal to the girl to continue her interruption. “What do two new friends do when faced with the ultimate test of exhaustion and a pile of work?”

“Don’t ask me,” Elphie says, looking at her with a confused smile. “I’ve never had a friend.”

Galinda almost groans before shaking the girl by her shoulders. “A spa day!”

“A spa day,” Elphaba deadpans. Galinda smiles brightly at her tone.

“Great idea, Elphie!”

“It wasn’t my idea. You just said it-”

“You can finish this little…” she peaks at the papers on the desk, “... essay while I gather up the necessary ingredients.”

She receives no response for a moment, thinking Elphaba would say no, push her off, and continue working. The little crease in the girl’s eyebrow tells her that her proposition is being at least considered. She leans in again, spouting her most innocent smile and persuasive eyes.

“Alright. We can have a… spa day. Or night, at this point.”

“Amazing! You just keep working and I’ll get everything ready!”

The better part of an hour passes, with Galinda running all around Shiz to gather everything and Elphaba working at her desk. She only settles for the best of the best, making her take more time than she anticipates. There’s a weird urge to make sure it’s all perfect that Galinda doesn’t want to think too much about. 
 
///
 
“Before you are the finest robes, nail polishes, face masks, lotions, salts, candles, flowers and teas Shiz has to offer.”

“Wow. You found all of this in the time you were gone?”

“Yes. I spared no expense, so shut your books and join me!”

“I’ve actually just finished. Good timing on your part.”

“I’m always on time,” she counters. They settle on the floor, criss crossed parallel to each other.  She’s explaining all of the lotion scents, letting the both of them smell each one. “These floral lotions pair well with this cedar scented candle, which also goes well with the poppies we have around the room.”

“Where did you find all these poppies?” Vases litter the room from Galinda’s adventures earlier.

“There’s a field near the edge of campus. We should go sometime.”

“That sounds nice. Dr. Dillamond told me he loves poppies- that they remind him of peace.”

“That would make sense. Poppies stand for remembrance and a peaceful future.”

“Really? How do you know?”

“My parents were really into flower arranging. Everything has meaning if you look at it the right way. Like this lovely green salt scrub!”

She holds out a green jar. Elphaba pushes it down, giggling.

“I like the poppies. Let’s use the other lotions.”

“Yes ma’am,” Galinda salutes, pulling them forward. “Oh! And by the way, you can use any of this stuff later on. I’ll keep them in the bathroom cabinets. It’s for both of us.”

“Thank you,” Elphaba says. “Though, not to be rude, but I probably wouldn’t know how to use it.”

“That’s why I’m teaching you now.”

They’re both quiet for a second, looking through everything. Galinda lights a few candles. Elphaba seems to be holding her breath, like she’s scared to say more. She leans into the girl as she spreads out the candles around them, trying to get her to relax. After a few touches, Elphie continues.

“Also… it wouldn’t be nearly as fun without you.”

“I see,” Galinda says, trying to keep her face cool. “Well, we must make this a tradition then. Maybe after a night out?”

“Perhaps. I don’t know how often that would be, though,” Elphie says, shrugging.

“I know you’d come if I asked you to,” she states boldly.

“I suppose so.”

Galinda gets the privilege of seeing a lovely green smirk that keeps her afloat for the rest of the day.
 /// The sun is rising through the windows and despite the exhaustion setting in, Glinda can’t stop giggling. Elphaba can’t seem to stop either, which only keeps her going. They’ve only finally changed and sat down after the Ozdust. This morning is always Glinda’s favorite, every time without fail. Everything is so charged and new; it feels like finally being able to breathe after so long. They spent the sunrise running around the room, Glinda showing Elphie all of her fun accessories and such. Elphaba’s truly excited about it all, making Glinda feel even happier, and she can’t stop from squealing. They don’t really calm down until she’s sliding a pink rose behind dark hair, and looking at each other shoulder to shoulder in the mirror. “Miss Elphaba, you’re beautiful,” she breathes out the words, running her hands across green shoulders. She can feel the girl tense beneath her, see the tears forming in her eyes.“I have to go,” Elphie says, before quickly making her way to the door. She doesn’t want to let this go. She doesn’t want Elphaba to leave yet- to leave ever.  “Wait!” She’s never done this before, never interfered here before. “I want you to know. I mean it.”“You’re only saying that.”“I wouldn’t lie, Elphaba. I really do mean it when I say that. I always thought about it, even before we were friends,” she retorts strongly. There is no room for question in her tone, and she knows Elphaba can hear it. Elphie seems to silence at that, but she’s not running anymore. “Can I finish braiding your hair?” she asks quietly, gesturing to the pushed vanity chair. The girl looks so unsure and her heart hurts, so she smiles and points again. Elphaba finally nods, moving to sit back down.“I know I’ve given you all these… tips, but I only want you to be confident as your own self. You’re beautiful the way you are, you know? Everything else is only useful to show off what’s already there.”Elphaba nods at her, like she’s really listening and absorbing her words in. It takes a minute for her to say anything else, until Glinda comments a slew of praises about her freckles. “I don’t think any boy would agree with you.”“Who cares what a boy would say?”Elphie raises her eyebrows. “You? Fiyero?”“Oh please,” she says. “I happen to attract quite an audience in most places, if you haven’t noticed-”“I have,” Elphaba states, tilting her head at Glinda, half annoyed and half proud.“Fiyero is only a friend. He’s a bit too boyish for my liking, though he is perfect . Great for midnight escapades but… not enough brains.”“I didn’t think you’d be interested in someone like that.”She finds herself being a bit too truthful, but there is no prickle of magic in her neck. This thing can change too, she decides. Fiyero was never too hurt in the past, anyways. The one thing they really had in common was loving someone else. “I say you’re beautiful. Anyone who doesn’t see that isn’t worth your time,” she finishes, continuing to braid the girl’s hair in silence.Elphaba doesn’t look at her, but doesn’t argue back. She doesn’t mind fighting the battle of Elphie’s low self esteem in any lifetime; Glinda could never be tired of it until the girl sees herself the way she does. She takes the win.And, if she sees a dark green flush over the girl’s cheeks, she doesn’t mention it. /// 
It takes her about three seconds to get out of bed once she opens her eyes. Her excitement gets the best of her, springing out of bed with a squeal. Maybe- and just maybe- she was a bit loud because all of sudden Elphie is leaning up in her own bed, rubbing her knuckles into her eyes as the morning sunlight burns in. 
She rips open the curtains despite this, ready for the day. The day. 
“Galinda-” Elphaba sighs, before Galinda’s leaping over to her side of the bed, pink robe swishing around her.

“You know what today is, don’t you?”

“How could I forget?”

“Today is a very, very special day-”

“I know, Galinda.”

“And there’s so much to be done, and here you are, dawdling in bed at this hour-”

“It’s not even eight o’clock yet.”

“Not even!?” she gasps, crossing her arms. “That’s half the day gone already! And you haven’t even said-”

Elphaba’s hands fall onto her shoulders, effectively silencing her. Sleep is still spread over her face, with green eyes fluttering and a smile unguarded, and Galinda feels her cheeks warm with their proximity.

“Happy birthday.”

She clears her throat, taking a few steps back.

“Thank you. Now, you know there is much to do!”

“I do remember. We went over all of the plans yesterday. And the day before. And like… every day for weeks now.”

“It is an important day.”

“I know. You better get ready. I’m honestly surprised you’re not out the door yet.”

Her eyes shoot to the clock on the wall, and she squeals, realizing she is far too behind. She throws on her outfit she’s had picked out for some time (at least two weeks) and hums while she applies her makeup and curls her hair. Elphaba lags behind her, but eventually catches up, spending significantly less time on her appearance. 
Not that Galinda thinks she looks bad by any means. 
They’re packing their bags simultaneously, but Galinda goes faster. She’s side stepping in front of the door with barely contained excitement, before Elphie speaks up.

“You should go. I have to find a book I borrowed from Dillamond. I’ll catch up.”

“Are you sure?”

Elphaba rolls her eyes. “Yes, I’m sure. You don’t want to miss the ‘surprise.’”

She doesn’t waste a second. “Okay, if you insist! This is all so excitifying!”

She runs out, shutting the door on Elphie’s gentle giggle.

The rest of the day goes by as planned, almost to the exact second. There is a (planned) surprise for her at breakfast, with her friends swarming her the second she enters the room. There’s fanfare and a cake and Fiyero comes around and kisses her in the middle of the room amid the cheering. It’s nice enough.

No one hardly pays attention in every class, trying to send her happy birthday wishes and get a good word in. She even talked with a few professors about skipping a lesson and getting to do something much more fun. It still surprises her how persuasive she can be, when she really wants something.

She has a lunch picnic with Elphie, Fiyero, Boq, and Nessa, and the weather is so perfect she almost faints at the sight. She says as much, falling back onto the grass with a sigh, and Elphaba waits a few seconds before whispering to see if she’s really feeling faint. Leave it to her to worry on a day like this.

People bring her gifts at dinner and spout praises and it all feels like a dream (despite it being planned). The only thing left on the agenda is the party, which she has so generously chosen to be at the Ozdust.

She’s in her room, sitting at her vanity, fixing up her hair when Elphaba walks over. They’ve spent most of the day together- as they so often do- but Galinda’s noticed she seems a bit… off. Almost as if the girl doesn’t know exactly where to be or what to say. Not enough to send Galinda into action, just… interesting.

“Galinda?” Elphie asks, and she quickly spins in her chair.

“Oh, yes?” she replies. Elphaba’s wearing a black dress she so graciously picked out. It hugs her body in all the right places: her sharp collarbone framing the top of it with laced sleeves flowing down her arms. She allows herself a few seconds to scan her eyes up and down. “Did you need help with something?”

“I actually have something. For you. To have,” Elphaba says, stumbling through her words. She seems all too anxious, making Galinda’s heart race.

“Is everything okay?” If something is wrong on her birthday, she needs to fix it- immediately. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s… nothing- sorry,” Elphie laughs, rubbing her elbow. “Sorry, everything’s okay. This is for you.”

A small bag is shoved into her hands. It’s a black bag, but there is an intricate detailing of glitter all on the sides. Galinda takes it gently, rubbing her hands over the rough texture of the swirls.

“What’s this?”

“A birthday gift.”

She gasps. “I thought we agreed that you didn’t have to get me anything!”

“I know. I just…” Elphie trails off, fidgeting with the bag straps before dropping it into Galinda’s hold. She ignores pushing it for now, despite knowing Elphaba doesn’t have a lot of money to spare, and pulls out the tissue paper.

Something catches her eye with light as she opens the bag. Her hands move in slowly, before touching something cold and smooth. She pulls it out, and it’s-

“A mirror?”

It’s gold, oval-shaped, with a curved handle at the bottom. Upon first glance, it looks like any old mirror. Galinda can tell it’s actually old, with the way the metal cracks at the finer edges, with the way the glass seems a little stained. What catches her attention, though, is the detail around the frame. Little green vines, entangled with pink flowers, are etched into the metal and painted with a gently muted palette. There are matching gemstones embedded in each of the flowers’ pistils. It glows in the light, and she can’t stop the smile from creeping up on her face.

“I know. You have so many- it’s probably silly. I just, I thought-”

They’re hugging before Galinda can set it down.

“It’s perfect. It really is perfect.” Elphaba relaxes under her hold. “Where did you even find such a thing? An antique this exquisite must’ve been expensive!”

“Don’t worry about it. I couldn’t stop thinking about it when I saw it.”

Galinda pulls back, looking down at it in her hands.

“I just…” Elphaba seems to gather her breath and calm her nerves, because when she speaks again- Galinda’s never heard her with such conviction in her voice. “No one has ever called me beautiful before.”

She frowns before she can stop it, but Elphaba reaches for her hand.

“No one has ever been my friend before. The first time I ever understood what I’ve been missing out on was after the Ozdust, when you gave me the rose and said all those things about me. I couldn’t understand why you did all of that for me- why anyone would do that for even a new friend- until I got to know you better. But- I get it now- all the reasons why. So… I guess, when you look at yourself in this mirror, I hope you see yourself the same way I see you: beautiful, talented, smart, driven, and the best friend I could’ve asked for.”

Water clouds her vision, but she tries to commit this moment to memory, tries to remember the way their hands feel linked as Elphaba smiles shyly at her but speaks with such heart.

“You’re the best friend I’ve ever had, too,” she admits, with a wet chuckle. Elphaba’s smile widens into something more confident, where Galinda can see all of her teeth and watch her eyes fold at the edges.

“Happy birthday, Galinda.”

“Thank you,” she replies, smiling sweetly.

She doesn’t think she’s ever received a better gift. Not from Fiyero, not from her friends, not even from her parents. She glances at it one last time before heading out to the party, Elphaba in hand.
Pink and green go good together, she thinks.   /// It’s not as if she’s trying to change anything. (She is.)Not in the same way, at least. (That’s what she’s telling herself.)So when Elphaba slams her hands on the table, flinging her chair back and sending poppies into the air, she expects to fall asleep. She doesn’t. Instead, she stares at Elphaba, who is equally as stunned at her own actions. Students around them slump against the grey desks. The guards slip to the ground.Glinda is snapped out of her trance when Fiyero, who is somehow not asleep, leaps up to grab the cub. That is also new. Hm.  “Let’s go!” he urges, stepping quietly towards the door. Elphaba takes a few steps after him, before turning back to grab her arm. “That includes you,” she says, tugging them both along.  /// They get to the edge of the forest in a cacophonous swirl. Everyone’s arguing, the lion is crying, and it’s the most chaotic thing Glinda’s been a part of in quite some time. And that’s saying a lot. It’s hot and her hair feels frazzled on her neck. Fiyero and Elphaba can’t decide where to take the cub as it scratches at the both of them. And Elphaba didn’t fully choose her over Fiyero this time- which doesn’t really matter.  All in all, she’s angry. “Will both of you stop?” she finds herself yelling once they are farther into the forest. “Arguing this nonsense will get us nowhere!”“I’m only trying to help. Elphaba’s the one who put everyone to sleep except us.”Elphie breaths in. “Excuse me? You didn’t have to come.”“Obviously I did. You’d’ve lost the cub by now without me to carry it.”“You’re spouting nonsense. I didn’t even think you cared about Animals.”Fiyero looks hurt. “Of course, I do-”“Okay!” Glinda reinserts herself. “We all want to help the Cub, so instead of arguing, let’s make a plan.”She remembers the Deer house near the outskirts of the woods, where her and Elphie took it before. Then, she remembers how everything transpired. That place might not be a good option. Who knows where the Cub would end up? Would he find Dorothy again? Stay silent in the resistance?“Well?” Elphaba asks Fiyero, crossing her arms. “Any ideas, Prince Charming?”“Are you saying I’m good looking?” Fiyero can’t help but flirt. Glinda would laugh under any other circumstances, any other time when she wasn’t deciding how much to change in order to save everyone. “I’m saying you’re a privileged piece of work, with no brain-”“What if we take him to where Dr. Dillamond lives? Maybe Animals will be going by to gather their belongings. We could at least try to find someone to help us,” Glinda offers through their petulant argument.The two consider it for a second. “Where he lived,” Elphaba corrects sadly. Glinda watches the girl close off, fold her arms over her chest.“It’s not a bad idea,” Fiyero says, coming to wrap an arm around Glinda. She lets it stay for the time being. She misses him, though she’s three seconds away from going to hug Elphie. “It’s not like you’re coming up with anything better,” Elphaba says, rolling her ideas.“I do care about the Animals, you know,” Fiyero tries, and the Cub finally relaxes in his hold. Glinda wonders if this is how they became friends in the first place: arguing back and forth about everything and nothing at all. “I do too,” she adds, for no real reason at all. She hasn't spoken about the Animals this whole time. Maybe for the fact that she’s sick of playing naive all this time. “Okay. I’m sorry. Let’s do what Galinda said.”They make their way quietly to the Animal housing, ensuring that no one spots them. The front doors are locked, but Elphaba waves her hand and they swing open with a tickle of magic. The group stays quiet, the Cub finally having fallen asleep once passed into Glinda’s arms. It’s certainly dusty on the inside, from being lived in by only two professors. She sneezes into the still air. The place seems torn apart, as if Dillamond collected all his things in a rush. Maybe he knew about being taken away before he went to class that morning. Glinda can’t help but watch Elphaba’s eyes flit around, filled with anger and sorrow. She knows the girl was always close with Dillamond. For the first time in a long time, she wondered what the old Goat went through at the castle. How he stopped speaking. If he remembers his life before this. A chill runs down her back. She hands the Cub off silently to Fiyero, who puts up no fight. Elphaba is a few feet away, sifting through some papers, and she approaches quietly. Her fingers find their way to the girl’s, and they intertwine without question. “You okay?”“I can’t believe he was just taken away. What do you think they’re doing to him?”
Putting him in a cage. Stripping him of his humanity. 
“I’m sure it’s just a misunderstanding…” She swallows bile in her throat and continues, “the Wizard wouldn’t want this to happen.”“You’re right. If I get my chance to talk to him, I’ll ask him to fix it all. To let Animals teach again and change it all.”“That’s a nice idea,” she lies, before closing her eyes and willing herself not to cry. She can feel the magic radiating off of Elphaba in waves and wonders when she became so attuned to it. She’s spent so long seeking the girl out, she supposes it makes sense for her magic to do the same.“Look,” Fiyero whispers, pulling their attention to a window. A Bird sits there, staring silently at them. Elphaba stands up but keeps their fingers together. “Excuse me?”The Bird says nothing. Glinda steps up. There’s a look in his eyes, and they all know he’s not an ordinary animal. “We’re looking for some help. We rescued a Cub,” she explains, pointing to where he sleeps in Fiyero’s arms.“We’re not sure if we can trust anyone at school, so we’re looking for someone to take him. To find him a better home,” Fiyero adds. They must be a sight to behold: a prince holding a Cub that couldn’t be more than a few months old, a green witch, and a girl in a pink frilly dress and heels- faces all painted with despair. The Bird seems to consider them for a moment. Elphaba adds a polite please, and Glinda almost smiles at the girl trying to be calm and kind. “You can leave him here. I will look after him until more Animals come by later tonight.”“Who is coming by?” Elphie asks, stepping forward a bit as Fiyero tucks the Cub into the center of a pillow.“That’s on a need-to-know basis.”“Please. I just want to make sure he’ll be okay.”Glinda steps back, opting to stand with Fiyero. This is Elphaba’s fight now. If she doesn’t trust the Bird, they’ll figure something else out. “I won’t give names.”“I’m not asking for names. Please.”“A deer. A snow leopard, maybe.”“Okay, that’s enough,” Elphaba says, turning to face them. “I kind of met them when I visited Dr. Dillamond here. We can trust them.”“Okay,” Fiyero says. Glinda nods. “Do you know why Dr. Dillamond was taken away?”“I can’t say for sure. All I know is that there’s a lot of valuable information in this room. The rest are coming later to gather it all up before it’s erased.”“Who’s trying to erase it?”“It’s all rumors right now,” the Bird says in full honesty. Glinda feels her heart stop. “I will make sure the Cub is okay. Thank you for your kindness Miss…”“Elphaba.”“Elphaba,” the Bird parrots. “And you?”“Glinda- Galinda. And Fiyero.”“Be careful,” the Bird warns, and they leave quietly. Elphaba rubs the Cub one last time on the way out and Glinda prays to anything that the girl is shown kindness from him after he grows. /// All seems calm after they return to campus. Morrible doesn’t do much besides throw around vague statements about Animals that Glinda fully understands but surpass her friends’ heads. She tries not to let anxiety get the best of her, as time topples into another set of unknowns, of changes, of things that never happened. She remembers Elphie’s lips on her wet face in the Emerald City tower and shudders. No, she commands. It won’t be like that. Fiyero leaves them, lost in his own thoughts. Elphie is similarly quiet, and Glinda knows better than to try and question the girl. She knows where she’s at with her magic. It would only lead to angry outbursts, which are productive for no one. Instead, she offers:“Walk with me?”It’s quiet around the canal, save for the rushing water. It’s not fast enough to splash them from where they stand, but it’s moving enough to make the air misty around them. Humidity pools in little drops along the cement, and Glinda has to focus a little more on not slipping in her heels. “I don’t understand who’d want to erase what Dillamond found. Who is trying to cover this all up? It can’t be the Wizard, can it?”She avidly avoids making eye contact. “I don’t think so.”“I don’t believe so, either. The Wizard only wants to help Oz. That includes the Animals, then. There must be something else going on.”It’s hard to hear the girl so optimistic, so hopeful about the leaders of Oz. She remembers how important it all was to her as a child: the beloved city of green. “Let’s forget about that now. All we can do now is focus on our studies and maybe you’ll get to meet the Wizard one day.”“With you by my side, of course,” Elphie adds, smiling sweetly. Glinda’s feet stumble a little, and she falls into the girl with a laugh. “You flirt,” she teases. She knows it’s a joke, but all of their kisses flash through her mind, and she can’t help but feel butterflies inside. “You’re almost as bad as Fiyero.”“You think so? I’m working on it.”“Really? It all happens so fast. One second, Glinda is stumbling beside the girl, shoving into her shoulder as they carefully trapeze the side of the slick canal. The next, Elphaba is tipping off the side, her yell cut short by the water submerging her. Everything stops for a second. Glinda feels her heart drop to her feet, down past her feet, far into the ground below. Her body is cold. She can’t breathe, and yet she finds herself screaming all the same. 
Elphaba’s hat resting in a shallow pool of water. Elphaba’s screams as a bucket of water melts her skin to the ground. Elphaba’s-
Something- someone breaks from the surface, snapping her body into motion. “Elphaba!”The girl is coughing but swimming back to the ledge. The girl is alive, not melted, not dying. She can’t stop herself from jumping in. 
Elphaba is going to die. All because of her. Again.
She starts dragging the girl by her dress, terrified to look back and see it empty, floating with no body, green washing down the stream. Everything is over again.
The hat sits empty in the puddle. 
“Galinda, what are you-”“Come on!”“I was…” Elphaba trails off, finally sensing Glinda’s frantic attempts to get them out of the water. Glinda can’t help but shove the other girl up first. It’s awkward and slow, and she knows her body trying to swim while also shaking cannot be helping. Once Elphaba is up, she claws her way up behind. Her lungs burn from shallow breathing and water splashing.They both make it to the side. Glinda can’t catch her breath, shaking. Elphaba is next to her though, breathing the same. She’s not melted. Maybe it’s a slow process. She remembers the screams. “Galinda, what are you-”She stops the girl with a hug. Her breaths are choppy and short and she can feel herself cry even through the water on her cheeks. Words aren’t really working, her body still shakes, and she can’t let go of the other girl. “Hey, what happened?”“I’m- I-”Her vision feels fuzzy. 
“Don’t clear my name. Keep the Grimmerie safe. I love you, my sweet.”

“Elphaba wait-”

There is screaming. 
“Galinda?”She puts her hands over her ears.
“You are never alone.”

The hat rests where a girl should be standing. A bucket of water sits empty in the corner. Chistery cries out. 
“Galinda.”There are hands on her. She can’t decide if she loves or hates it, so she shakes in place. They quickly disappear. “Galinda,” someone says again. “Elphie-” she breathes out. 
The water killed her, again and again and again. Glinda can’t save her. 
“Look at me.”She listens through choppy breathing. Elphaba is still there, staring with worried green eyes. The girl’s hands move around, but never touch. She needs to know if the girl is real. If this is another dream. She reaches out and pulls the girl close.“Galinda.”“I- s-sorry,” she tries to explain, but her body feels like it’s on fire and Elphaba is cold and wet beneath her and she can’t remember where or when she is anymore. “Breathe.” Elphaba moves her hands off of her with a painful effort, placing one back on her chest. “Follow me.”“In.” Elphaba breathes in. Glinda tries to copy. “Out.”They do it a few times. After a while, Glinda can feel herself relax, can feel her muscles give out. She slumps against Elphie’s wet dress.“Are you alright now?”“I’m… yes.”“What happened?”“It’s just- the water. I mean, it didn’t… the water didn’t…”“Hurt me? I only fell in. I do know how to swim, you know.”
Fell into the water. After it melted you to the ground. 
“Right,” she tries to say, shaking her growing anxiety back. Her confidence must be bad even for her standards, because Elphaba raises her eyebrows. “It’s all fine.”“Keep breathing. We should get back and dry off. You wouldn’t want your dress to dry like that.”Glinda looks down to see her dress crumpled and dirty at the edges. She doesn’t exactly care at all about her dress right now, but it would only make sense if she did. “Yes. Let’s get back before it’s ruined,” she agrees, but her voice is hollow. Elphaba doesn’t say anything else, but helps her up ever so gently. She places one hand on Glinda’s back and another on her shoulder, pushing her forward. They get back to the dorms before she can blink. Elphaba offers to help her change, and she declines, proceeding to stand in front of her closet, frozen. “Galinda?” The girl places a hand on her shoulder and she flinches. It’s not wet anymore- Elphaba is dry, meaning she’s probably been standing and staring for who knows how long. “Can I help you?”She can only nod. Elphie walks her to her bed and helps her change into warmer, dryer clothes. The rest of the day passes in a blur. Her thoughts can hardly stay in the present, and all of her questions go unanswered. It’s not like she can ask Elphie herself, in fear of magic telling her no. She thinks of the screams she heard from the closet, the bucket overturned in the corner, and Elphaba looking at her with worried eyes and a wet face. It’s all a numbing white noise. Elphaba must be really freaked out, because she doesn’t leave the dorm room the rest of the day. Not even for her afternoon elective- which might be a first if Glinda can remember. They don’t talk at all, sitting uncomfortably in each other’s orbits while Glinda’s understanding falls apart around her and Elphaba keeps her questions stuffed inside.  /// She lets herself forget about- more like suppress and ignore- all the bad and confusing for a week. The next morning, with a look at the calendar, she realizes there’s so little time left to enjoy Shiz. If everything must be the same- and it must, at this point- then they will have to split for a while, and she will have to readjust to being alone while Elphaba learns to evade society. It stings worse when she turns over to see Elphaba’s sleeping face, smooth of worry and disappointment.  Maybe we can work together in secret, she thinks traitorously, trying not to let the hope sprout up. Maybe we can solve this together, by working apart.  She misses working with someone else. Even as Glinda the Good, she had people to bounce ideas off of, servants or enemies. The thought of resigning their friendship back to sporadic visits in the dark of night, before turning into something more bitter, makes her skin grow cold.Despite the deep, heavy worry that fills her mind, she tries to have a fun week. Elphaba is still alive, after all. “Good morning!” she chirps once she hears Elphaba’s breath fall into the choppy pattern of being awake. “You’re awfully perky already,” Elphie says, though her voice is gentle. “How can I not be when the sun’s rays are shining brightly today?”And she lets the week feel simple.They walk to breakfast together, hand in hand. And to lunch. And every class, always with fingers resting over one another’s.“Do you think I’m going to run off?” Elphaba jokes one afternoon, when Fiyero comments on how close they’ve been.“No,” she lies. “I just prefer it this way.”Elphaba doesn’t ever try to stop her, never opens her mouth the second they intertwine, and she takes it as a win. They- Glinda, Elphie, Fiyero, Boq, Nessa, and a few other friends- saunter around the town. The weather is perfectly warm, so they go shopping and visit some restaurants and build campfires at night. It’s simple and it’s fun and she sucks it all in. /// When the Wizard sends for Elphaba, she keeps a smile on her face. Morrible- and in some ways Elphaba- have no reason to doubt her, no reason to question her knowledge, no reason to hurt anyone she cares about in the near future. She listens to the note being read aloud when the thunder claps in. Shenshen offers her an umbrella but she shakes her head. Instead, she’s focusing on Elphaba’s face, all excited and hopeful and proud. Glinda hopes her face isn’t too easy to read, all scrunched and fearful. She doesn’t mean to tune it all out, but she snaps back to the present when everyone cheers around her with the rain subsiding. “What did Madame Morrible just say?” she leans over and asks Pfannee, who squirms with excitement at her side. “That Elphaba mustn’t get wet!”
“People are so empty headed they’ll believe anything!”

“I do know how to swim, you know.”

“The Wicked Witch’s soul is so unclean, pure water melts her!”
Oh, the realization strikes her. A joke, a one off comment, a pile of gibberish spouted off in a moment of misunderstanding that somehow toppled into the rumor to end it all. A rumor she believed. How ridiculous, she thinks to herself, unable to stop the tears that start to fall. How utterly stupid of her to ever think that-“Hey,” Elphaba whispers next to her, chattering around them fading off with the light sprinkle of rain tapping around them. “You okay?”No, she wants to yell. Wants to scream at Elphaba for ever going along with this lie. Wants to shake her younger self for ever believing such a stupid, stupid idea.“Sorry, yes,” she says through a hardened throat. “I am just so proud of you.”She throws her arms around the taller girl, ignoring the confused stuttering. It’s all she can do to stop Elphie from asking too many questions that she isn’t allowed to answer. “I am proud,” she says again, just to drive the point home. “You’ve been working so hard for this! The Wizard, I mean- come on!”The words feel sour in her mouth. Elphaba doesn’t seem to believe her really, and gives her a dissatisfied look back. It feels untruthful, probably sounds just as bad, but she does mean it. In a different time, maybe. Years ago, maybe. “Thank you,” the girl says instead of asking another question, even though Glinda watches her bite her tongue in real time. It sounds just as untrue. Morrible walks back over to them, rain clouds blow away. “This is your chance. To make good,” Morrible says, smiling at Elphaba as they embrace. Glinda wonders how she can lie so easily, lie so fluently and with passion, and wishes she could do the same. /// 
“Elphie! Look!”

There are fields and fields of poppies that fly past: red, orange, yellow, pink all flashing by.

“It’s beautiful,” Elphaba says, now standing at her side. The train moves faster than Glinda expected, but everything is still visible with a stark clarity. The windows spread across both sides, and the sun shining through keeps a smile on her face.

“It’s thrillifying! Imagine what it’ll be like to see Emerald City from afar!”

“Green, I’m assuming.”

“Of course green. My favorite.”

Elphaba smiles softly at that.

“Shall we look around?” the girl asks. Glinda nods, before grabbing both green hands and pulling her along.

They spend the better part of an hour checking out everything the train has to offer.

A mustache man stationed at the back:

“Do you think he’d talk to us?”

“I think he’s busy working.”

The man must notice their whispering, seeing as he only stands a few feet away, but he says nothing, opting to stare out above them instead.

Glinda wants to say more, to get something out of him, but Elphie only shushed her and pulls them away.

A pile of books on the Emerald City:

“Books, Elphie? We get to go on a once and a lifetime trip and you’re excited about the books?”

“One, I am always excited about books. Two, it’s about the place we’re going, and since we only have one full day, we should try and be efficient in our tourism.”

“Fair, but it’s still boring.”

“You’re only saying that to spite me.”

“And if I am?”

A variety of teas and desserts:

“We have to try them all.”

“You’re going to get sick.”

“Am not! Besides, the mustache man offered.”

Elphaba shrugs.

“Don’t be sour. Try something sweet instead!”

After everything, after pestering the man, after skimming through the books, after trying the teas and the sweets, they take a seat near the front of the train.

“I can’t believe it,” Elphaba whispers, as if they were alone in their dorm room. “The Wizard.”

Glinda can’t help her squeal of excitement. It’s always been her dream to end up living and working in the City, and she knows Elphie has been dreaming much harder and for much longer.

“Imagine it! You, working with the Wizard and saving the world. Coming home to a nice apartment in the city. I’m sure Nessa will be there too, of course.”

“Don’t forget about you. You’ll be living with me, unless…” she trails off.

“Unless? Obviously, I’d be there too. Maybe not as a sorceress, but I’d find something to do.”

“Well- Fiyero.”

“Oh,” she frowns just a bit with her words. Right. Fiyero. Marriage. “Don’t think about him. This is about us, reaching everything we’ve worked for.”

“Right.”

The silence of ‘what ifs’ float around them. The landscape passes around them, but Glinda can only focus on the girl next to her, and the little crinkle in her eyebrows when she’s overthinking.

She takes her hand, leaning her head onto a dark shoulder. She can feel a deep breath, more anxieties coming to the surface.

“What if I can’t prove myself?”

“Elphie, what are you-”

“I was barely making improvements in Morrible’s seminar. What if I forget everything when I get there? I didn’t have time to review, or practice, and Morrible said I’d need to-”

“Wait a second,” she counters, stopping the girl. “You want this, don’t you?”

“Of course, I do-”

“And you’ve been working towards it?”

“Well, yes, but-”

“Then that should be enough.”

It’s quiet for a moment. Both girls look out the window, lost in thought. There’s so much that could happen. Elphie could be offered a job later today with the Wizard. Glinda could never cast a single spell.

“It’s enough for you, too,” Elphaba says, turning back to where Glinda rests against her side.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, you always sell yourself short when it comes to your brains. Just because your magic is still growing doesn’t mean you have to count yourself out of being a sorceress.”

“Morrible certainly doesn’t think I can,” she says in a rare moment of self depreciation.

“Well, fuck Morrible, then.”

“Elphie!” she screams and giggles. "Language!"

“It’s true. If being enough is wanting and working for it, then you’re enough too. Don’t forget it.”

Glinda pulls her in for a hug, letting the conversation continue through little touches and hugs in the sun's rays that streams into the train car. 
 /// Emerald city scares her now, more than it did before. Gone is the semi-relaxing familiarity, replaced with the growing terror in her heart at the remembrance of what happened all the way back at that first time and the most recent time before. It’s not giggles that fill the air. It’s the chug of the train wheels, the huff of smoke from the brakes, and Glinda’s own shaky breath. “You okay?” Elphaba asks, green hand grazing her own. She opens her fingers, letting the comfort sink in. “Yes. I’ve always wanted to see the Emerald City,” she replies, letting her voice fall monotone with the lie. It wasn’t always a lie, she reminds herself. There are memories of her and Elphaba planning what their life could look like late into the night.There are also memories of her and Elphaba being torn apart here, where their reality crashes around them. Multiple times, now. It’s hard to compartmentalize them all. “You’re looking a bit green,” Elphie says, a bit concerned and with a bit of laughter when Glinda looks up at her with wide eyes. “And not in a positively emerald way.”“It must just be nerves,” she lies again, trying to laugh it off. “Don’t,” Elphaba says sternly. It shocks her-  just a little, after their delicate game of ignoring it all the past week- and Elphie must read it on her face because then she’s brought into a hug. “Don’t lie to me. It’s okay to tell me how you’re feeling, you know.”It takes a lot of self control not to cry there, in front of the mustache man who is stationed in the corner. “Sorry,” she says, leaning into the hug. “I’m not lying… It’s just…”Elphaba squeezes once more before pulling back, where green eyes can meet brown. She conjures some version of the truth, as best as she can without the magic pulling at her.“What if it’s not what we imagined? What if we can’t find jobs here?“What makes you worry about that now? After all our planning?”“What if we move here and it’s horrible and we stop talking and-”“Woah,” Elphie says, grabbing her by the shoulders. “Why would we stop talking?”“Distance makes everything harder,” she rambles, “and not talking leads to losing our friendship and that means-”“Why would we stop being friends?”
Morrible. The Wizard. A hat. The Wicked Witch. Glinda the Good. A bucket of water. 
“Well, what if-”“Stop with the ‘what ifs’. Glinda. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had. Nothing is going to change that, whether we move here or not. You know that, right?”She almost laughs at the untruthfulness at the statement, remembering the years they spent apart kissing and fighting and everything in between, up until Elphaba’s demise.“You’re right,” she placates, getting herself under control starting with her breathing. “I’m sorry. I’m feeling horribly stressed right now and didn’t mean to bring you down.”“Don’t apologize. It’s what friends are for,” Elphaba says, casting her a smile. “We have no idea where we’ll be once we graduate, but don’t count this out yet, okay? There are so many opportunities, and we’re going to speak with the Wizard right now! That has to mean something.”The mustache man and another attendant hold the doors open, but are avidly trying to keep their eyes off of the girls. “We can talk more later, but I think they’re waiting for us to get off the train.”“Right, right,” she agrees, shaking her head. “We have a day to enjoy.” /// They end up back in that damn room. It would be pretty, if she really looks at it, if everything didn’t go down here. She’d spend time up here after Elphaba had left, staring off into the sky, surrounded by fallen swords and broken glass.The staircase is still dusty, though, untouched in years. The windows are still intact. Glinda can see Monkeys circling overhead, and she knows their time is running out. Her time is running out, really, to try and change anything before they are cast apart. She doesn’t even really try and stop Elphaba, doesn’t push the girl back. Only follows with a submissive fear.“Why couldn’t you have stayed calm, for once?!” she yells, feeling years of anger- of reliving this over and over- slip out. “We could’ve fixed this together!”“You think we could’ve, what- worked with the Wizard?!” Elphaba is yelling now, too.“We could do so much more in secret than running away like fugitives!”Morrible’s voice over the intercom cuts their conversation. Glinda watches Elphie’s face fall ever so slightly, letting the pressure of the situation settle into her mind. “It doesn’t matter what happens to me,” Elphaba says sternly. “I have the book. And I’m going to tell everyone the truth.”“We can apologize, right now,” she tries for the last time. “There is still time to fix this. Please, Elphaba. I promise you, running away now won’t solve anything.”Glinda knows this. She knows what will happen if Elphaba gets on the broom and flies off. But it’s not like she can say anything else. Her body teems with magic. “This is about more than us,” Elphaba says. “I can’t just stay here and sit complacent with his rules. I don’t care if my life changes forever.”There is such firmness in her voice, that if Glinda didn’t know what was to come, she’d be inclined to agree. Elphaba steps up, inches away from her face. “Glinda, think of what we could do. Together. Please, come with me.”There is suddenly a weight of magic around her. She should say no. She has to say no. The words don’t come, though. This is what she’s always regretted. Not giving Elphaba the hat. Not staying with Fiyero for so long. Not listening to Elphaba’s final wish and making no effort to clear the girl’s name. Saying yes could’ve changed everything. Back then, she had stayed silent but knew her answer the second she was asked. Elphie did too, and as they stood inches apart, Glinda wrapping the girl in a black cape, they never felt farther apart. The magic tugs at her neck. It knows what she wants. She doesn’t want to give a silent no. She wants to scream yes at the top of her lungs. She doesn’t know if she can do this all over again though, so she stands there. She can’t say no, but she can't say yes.“We could be unlimited. Powerful. We could stop the Wizard. We know people who could help us. Fiyero, Dillamond, so many people from Shiz, our families. If people knew the truth, they’d fight back. The Wizard said the best way to bring people together is an enemy; we’ll make him the enemy.”She can’t say anything. Her pulse buzzes. Her vision spots. “Please, Glinda,” Elphaba begs. She sounds so desperate, so disheartened at the thought of doing this alone. She never said all this before- she’s never begged this much before. Something has changed, Glinda realizes. Neither of them can do this alone.The magic screams around her as her mind makes itself up. She grips tighter onto Elphaba, trying to search for the girl’s magic instead. It’s so much warmer and gentler on her skin. It gives her the strength to decide what to do.  Say no, her mind screams. Say yes, her heart fights back. 
No.

Yes.

No.

Yes.

No!
Damn the consequences. Damn it all. She'll do it again. Her body shakes, and she can’t stop the words from tumbling off her lips:“Yes,” she breathes, “yes, I’m coming.”The magic disappears. She blinks herself awake, shaking off the white fuzz. There is no tug. She is not back in her bedroom. She is still in the present. Her whole body feels silent, feels at peace, feels free. Elphaba’s face creeps into a worried smile. “Are you sure this is what you really want? A life on the run?”“I only really want you,” she says honestly. There is no magic pulling at her neck, but she is changing everything. She goes in for a tight, tight hug. “I can live with the rest.”Is this all it took? Suddenly, guards are around them, ripping them apart. Glinda is thrown to the ground, and she tries to fight back. Her body feels so weak, as if the magic disappearing took every ounce of her strength with it. “No! I’m the one you want!” Glinda can hear Elphaba’s screams from her place under soldiers. “Leave her alone!”There’s a surge around her. She’s free all of a sudden. Elphie is there, tugging her up. Magic, she remembers. Her mind feels a bit slow, like the world is slowly freezing around her. A broom appears in her hand where it sits under Elphie’s.“Do you trust me?” Elphie yells into her ear. Most of the guards are standing again, pushing them closer and closer to the ledge. “Of course,” she yells back. “Hold on,” Elphaba whispers. She leans forward, hugging as tight as she can. They tip over the side before Glinda can protest. The guards all scream to stop, but in an instant, they’re voices drown out.For a second, they’re at the mercy of the wind. There is no floor around her, nothing to ground her but Elphaba in front of her. She’s spinning, can’t set her eyes on anything, so she shuts them. Everything swirls, and for a moment, she thinks they’ll hit the ground. There’s not really any panic, though. It’s all so slow now.And then, in one breath, they’re upright in the sky, flying faster than Glinda could’ve imagined. The cold air pricks at her face, swirling up tears in the corners of her eyes. She only hugs tighter, feeling one of Elphaba’s hands fall on top of hers. Glinda can feel Elphaba speaking, her lungs constricting in strange ways, but the wind is too loud to hear. She squeezes tighter, trying to signal she can’t understand, and suddenly the wind stops. They stop, floating above clouds bigger and softer than anything Glinda could imagine. It’s completely and utterly silent. “We’re safe,” Elphie says, voice quiet and rumbling beneath her touch. “Are you okay?”Glinda leans back just a little, pointedly ignoring the thousands of feet of open air below her. Green eyes meet hers, and she feels herself blush. Even her blinks feel slow. Perhaps it’s the adrenaline wearing off.“I am. Are you?”“Yes.”They’re silent for a moment, letting the gentle wind blow over them. She can’t believe she’s here. This is something fully new, fully terrifying, but also fully amazing. Elphaba is real and solid beneath her. They escaped. They can change everything now, side by side. A green finger delicately rubs down her cheek. Her eyes widen instinctually, before realizing it’s following tears that roll down her face. “Hey,” Elphaba says, trying to wipe the tears. Glinda can’t really stop them- not after seeing the soft and concerned smile on the girl’s face. “It’ll be okay. We’re together, and I won’t let anything happen to you.”“I know,” she says with full belief behind her words. She moves her own hands off Elphaba to wipe her face, gently pushing Elphie’s back. “Wouldn’t want you to get wet,” she tries to joke, only finding it more upsetting with the memories of before. Elphaba could’ve been alive, and she had fallen for the lies born of fear spread by the entirety of Oz. What would the Elphaba in front of her think of that? That Glinda believed the worst of her?“Funny,” Elphaba says dryly, before pulling the girl in for a hug.They’re silent again as Glinda pulls herself together. The clouds are swirling grey around them, a storm blowing in from the East. She realizes then that it’s probably Morrible’s doing, and her face scrunches just a bit. “We should find somewhere to rest. There is much to plan tomorrow.”Glinda only nods, not trusting her own voice. She leans back in, wrapping her hands again. “I’m sorry you’re here.” Glinda goes to protest. “But I’m so glad you came,” Elphaba finishes.Glinda can hear the quiver of fear in her voice, as if for a moment, she thought Glinda would say no. She did once before, she supposes, so she hugs tighter. “I am too. We’re going to fix this. Together.”Her head falls onto Elphie’s back, nodding at the girl’s words. Her body feels so, so heavy, and she chalks it up to the never-ending stress she’s been under for so long. Her arms ache and her feet ache and her heart aches and she thinks she could sleep for the rest of her life and still long for rest. I did it, she thinks despite the deep tiredness in her bones, before resting her eyes as Elphaba picks up their speed. There is no magic tugging her away. Elphaba is in front of her: solid, warm, alive.The wind blowing in her ears lulls her to sleep. Everything moves slowly.
I did it.
 /// She can’t bring herself to open her eyes with the pain radiating from her head.Her mind is blank of anything else; she winces, trying to pull some sort of memory. Where was she before this?Shiz? No, not Shiz. She had left Shiz. Emerald City? No, she remembers saying goodbye from afar. Home? Certainly not, not since that first day. A broom pops into her head. A broom in the sky, holding tightly onto Elphaba.  Yes, that’s right. She escaped the tower, finally said the three-letter word she’d been wishing she said from the second she said no. Now, though, she’s quite sure she’s not on a broom in the sky with Elphaba, even with her eyes shut. Slowly but surely, her memories return, with clarity growing as the pain subsides. Her hands reach for her head and she immediately feels different. Her hands feel colder- rougher even. Upon opening her eyes, her heart sinks. Elphaba’s hat sits on the bed in front of her, tattered and pressed, as though it had been laid on. The room is green. Her sheets are green. She is not on a broom in the sky with Elphaba. There’s not a speck of pink to be found in her bed.In fact, there is no pink anywhere in the room. She cannot smell her childhood bedroom. No light is cast across the crinkled sheets. No one is calling for her. “I’m… back?” she says aloud, trying to process everything as memories flood back. She leans over to her nightstand, picking up a small, pink and green handheld mirror. The eyes that look back are ones she hasn’t seen in months- almost a full year if she tries to add it all up.Albeit, they are her own, just not the younger, sharper version she became accustomed to. Instead, there are wrinkles in the corners, worry lines sketched on her forehead, and what looks like smeared mascara across her cheeks. “I’m back,” she says again, trying to solidify the fact she’s no longer in the past, no longer cast in the purgatory that she slowly started to appreciate, despite the agony. “I’m back.”She blinks at herself in the mirror, trying to piece everything together. 
I chose to go with Elphaba. That was the wrong choice, I suppose. Then again, I’m not back to that first day arriving at Shiz, so maybe this was right. Or I’m out of chances. 
A laugh slips out. “What was the point of it all, then?” she yells into the room, wishing she could feel a tinge of magic in her neck. “Why send me back if I couldn’t save her at all? Why force me to do that over and over again if I’ve ended up right back here, with everything the same?”She receives no response, and she laughs again, dropping the mirror to comb a hand through her bedridden hair.  Why? She screams inside as she laughs. Why? Was it to let her watch her own mistakes over and over? To try and change them? To remember Elphaba with a freshness she’s lost over the years of being apart, only to be pulled away again?She looks at the hat again, laying up near the pillow. Her fingers trace the rim, tattered but softer than ever before; soft and smooth in a way that details its use over the years. Soft in a way that it wasn’t, back when she handed it to Elphaba for the first time, and for many, many times after that.  Ironic, she thinks, how time softens everything. Softens her heart, her strength, her memories. Softens everything but the ache she feels for her lost friends. Something tingles in her neck, and she shakes her head. The realization dawns on her before she can think anything else. 
“Wouldn’t want you to get wet.”

“Funny.”
Oh, she realizes, and then starts laughing. Elphaba’s alive, she frantically giggles out, feeling her composure break. It’s truly hard to tell if she’s crying or laughing, and if any maids are near the door, they must think she’s finally snapped. 
Elphaba’s alive. 
 /// The hallway is empty as she runs out, still wearing nothing but her nightgown with Elphaba’s hat clutched in her cold hands. Her ears listen for any sight of life, particularly from one winged monkey. The castle is surprisingly silent, probably breathing in a moment of peace for the first time since Elphaba was donned wicked. The Wizard, who might galavant around the castle, is gone. Morrible, who might reprimand the staff in the halls, is buried deep into the ground, wasting away in one of the cells there. The guards left their posts last night, finally returning home after years of waiting for something to happen, something to threaten her. As if Elphie would ever threaten her. A group of Monkeys sit quietly in the garden, speaking in simple words and gentle grunts. Truly, they have no reason to be here. They haven’t worked here in years, not since Elphaba freed them. She can tell that these are the higher ranking, ones who maybe lived here, at a time. They’re all familiar enough, but she’s only really looking for one. She can tell it’s him based on the way his tattered wings rest on his back: slumped, exhausted from leading all these years. She feels a similar ache of responsibility. “Chistery,” she calls quietly, not wanting to interrupt the silence that surrounds them. It’s cloudy for the first time in forever- with Morrible gone, she supposes weather will be different- she realizes, as every shadow cast from surrounding trees and plants feels unsharpened. Softer, in a way not different to Elphie’s hat in her hands. He turns around, and the others around him stop chattering. “Can I have a word?”Chistery looks back at the group, the rest of them staring warily at her. “You don’t have to worry, anymore. I’m going to fix everything now that the Wizard’s gone, starting with the Animals. You’re free to come and go as you please, and I’m sure I’ll be in contact with you as I rectify… everything.”She thinks, for a moment, that they won’t forgive her- won’t give her the time of day. Instead, a smaller Monkey in the back gives her a nod. Her heart leaps. Chistery motions for them to leave, and they all move to fly up and out. Their wings beat on the grasses, sending some crunchy leaves to scatter in the air, scrapping on pavement. He takes a few steps forward as the wind dies down, leaving them in silence once again. “I’m sorry,” she starts with. He only looks at her, recognition crinkling in his eyes. “And thank you.”He turns his head, as if to ask what for. “I know Elphaba trusted you. I know you were an important friend to her through all this. And I'll forever be in your debt for that.”Chistery nods slowly, an ache flashing across his face. She knows Elphaba is alive, but seeing that grief spikes fear into her that maybe this idea is all wrong, and she should’ve never had hope to begin with. “I need you to be honest with me,” she says, voice a little firmer. Chistery sits up a bit. “About where she is.”There’s not much else to explain. He looks at her with a stoicism that could be from a strong poker face, from harboring her friend's secret, or from sympathy, from her claims being wrong. Either way, it sends a chill down her back.“I don’t care if she made you promise not to tell, if she swore you to secrecy. I just need to see her. To make sure she’s alive. Please,” she says, getting onto her knees and letting the pavement scratch at her delicate skin. It must be a sight to behold- Glinda the Good getting her dress dirty at the feet of a mutilated Monkey. “I’m begging you.”She thinks she got it wrong, only for a second. Chistery looks at her with sadness- almost borderline pity- but doesn’t answer. Her heart rate picks up, fearing that this was all but a dream. He sighs, and her hands fold into the fabric of her dress. And then, before she can spiral any further, he speaks. “She… is alive,” he slowly coughs out, words fragmented and voice rough. She can’t help the breath that escapes her. “Thank Oz,” she says, hanging her head low for a second as tears start to pour out. A gentle hand is placed on her shoulder, slowly her eyeline back up. Chistery is closer now, and she can see the scars that mark his face and arms. He watches her cry before bringing her into a hug. They sit there in the garden, letting the silence press on them in a comforting way, as the sun hides behind clouds and the plants sway gently in the wind. “Thank you,” she whispers. “Thank you.” /// It feels stupid dressing up when she has no idea where Elphie is, or how long it will take to find her. Chistery, while confirming that Elphaba is truly alive, couldn’t say much else. Her plan was to run away, he had explained, to disappear as the Wicked Witch. He didn’t know where she was going after leaving Kiamo Ko. She doesn’t even know why she’s trying to look nice, and she scrambles through her closet, still heaving out a mixture of sobbing and laughing. Her hands don’t stop shaking, even as she flips through dresses upon dresses. She lands on a familiar pink dress. The fabric is softened from use, similar to Elphie’s hat. It’s the one she wore to Emerald City all those years ago. She slips it on gently, surprised that it still fits after these years. She can’t decide if that’s a good or bad indicator of her health. She writes a little note to leave on her desk. The time it would take to track down her maids to inform them of her decision to leave for a bit would be too long. She signs the note sincerely, trying to lower the chance of worry spreading in the city. Honestly, she tries to care about it, but scribbles it out and runs out the door. Elphaba is alive. She finds nothing else really matters, besides that. And the way she looks, she supposes, laughing as she rubs the fabric that Elphie touched years ago.  /// It takes her a few days to reach the castle, opting to walk rather than by carriage or horseback. She slips out relatively easily, with everyone still relaxed and at home after the news of Elphaba’s death. It’s not a bad walk, truly. Kiamo Ko is the closest part of the Vinkus to Emerald City, and she follows the path like muscle memory. Despite everything about the Wizard, having accessible paths that go just about anywhere in Oz is handy.The sky remains cloudy her entire trip, without a single second of sun peaking through. She doesn’t mind, after the years of bright sun. As long as it doesn’t rain on her as she walks unprepared, she is content to watch the clouds move with the wind. The walk is silent, but she has much to think about. It passes in a blur of aching, of longing, of memories upon memories from every lifetime.The castle doors are half open when she arrives. She slips in easily, rubbing her hands together as the dark and cold air of the abandoned castle hits her. She doesn’t waste much time in any other rooms, charging towards the room where it happened. The doors are still open so she doesn’t have a reason to psych herself out at the entrance.  This is real, she reminds herself. Elphaba did not die here. The water is dried. The bucket is still resting in the corner. The closet doors are still open. It’s a perfect picture of past and present. Her feet take her to the spot it happened as if she was just here yesterday. In reality, it was only yesterday. There’s something different this time though, that she gasps at. A trapdoor. Latched with an iron lock and a pulse of magic. Glinda wastes no time cranking it open, dropping into a small room that hides below it. It’s so dark, she almost misses it: a little white rectangle rests in the corner, lodged between two loose bricks.She swallows before picking it up gently. G, is printed on the envelope, written with such swirling delicacy that it brings tears to her eyes immediately. Her fingers tear through the fold, pulling out a smaller note card. Words fill the page with smeared ink. 
I’m sorry.
She lets tears roll down her cheeks, rubbing her finger over the ink.   I’m sorry, it says. If you find this, it’s because you haven’t left me behind, and for that I am sorry. I am supposed to stay away, to keep silent, but when have I ever listened before?  She laughs through a raw throat. 
I cannot find you, but if you find me, well- I cannot be faulted. We are nearby, though I can’t say where, in case this message ends up in the wrong hands. 
We?
I hope to see you again, G, with remembrance and in a peaceful future.
She flips the note over, expecting to find more instructions. Instead, she finds:
Signed, E and F
  Fiyero, she realizes, bringing more sobs. It must be by some strange magic, something akin to the one that sent her back in time, that he is alive again. They’re both alive.  She reads the note over and over again, trying to figure out where Elphaba is telling her to go. It makes no sense, and she curses at Elphaba for trying to write useless clues at a time like this. There is a hallway leading away from where she dropped through the trap door. Her feet move on their own accord, walking to where light seeps through cracks. It’s another door. She pushes it open, and is in awe of the landscape.Grasslands fill the foreground, mostly green and brown. There’s a river in the distance, shaped around some mountains. She looks a little closer at a speck of color near the base of the mountain. It looks red, maybe a bit orange. It’s hard to tell with the rest of the grass growing much more abundantly.Glinda takes a step out before feeling a lump beneath her heel. She moves back and notices a small red flower. A poppy, she realizes with a smile. She looks back out and the color in the distance resembles a small poppy field. Nowhere near as breathtaking as the one near Shiz, but pretty nonetheless. 
Remembrance and a peaceful future.

Oh. I see. 
She supposes that’s as good of a start as she could get. Her heart flutters at the fact Elphaba remembered their conversation from years ago. She wonders if poppies are the girl’s favorite flowers.The sun is setting behind the mountains, and the sky becomes too dark to traverse through. She resigns herself to sleeping here for the night, before continuing on. The castle is much scarier in the dark, but she tries to muster up the courage to walk around and explore the bedrooms. The first room down the hallway is covered in books and papers, left in a whirlwind of a mess. There’s a black dress crumbled in the corner, an empty vase filled with water, and a bottle of soap and lotion that look vaguely familiar. The bed is flat, a single blanket made perfectly around its sharp edge.She lays down in a bed that she can only assume was Elphie’s, curled around the girl’s hat, and drifts off into a dreamless sleep.  /// It only takes her about half a day to reach the Thousand Year Grasslands, but her feet ache. She guesses it’s midday when she reaches the edge of the fields, but it’s hard to tell with the clouds covering. In fact, the clouds have only grown bigger and darker within the time she left. Thunder booms lowly, and her heart rate speeds as she walks faster. She wishes, not for the first time, that she gained the magic needed to control the weather.She reads Elphaba’s note again. The poppy field is closer now, but it’s harder to tell how far since she’s level with the ground now. The grass shifts around her, crunching under her heels as she walks. It’s tall, but not tall enough to where she can’t see over. At its highest, it grazes the tips of her knee, and her hands trail along the top. Something feels different here. Her fingers pulse strangely, like they’re listening for something she can’t see. Another beat of thunder comes through, and a gust of wind shakes the grass. A childish desire crawls up her throat before she can think better of it. “Elphaba?” she calls loudly, but not loud enough to be heard over wind and thunder. “Are you here?”There are no houses, no caves, no trees- nothing for the girl to be hiding behind, and yet, she still finds herself calling. It’s not like there’s anyone else nearby to hear.“Fiyero? Elphaba?”She decides to trot up a slight hill, hoping to see farther into the land. When she reaches the top, her heart sinks. The land is vast, with mountains surrounding it on all sides. It could take days- or weeks, even- to search it all. It could take weeks to even discover a sign of Elphaba, let alone the girl herself. The poppies cover more than she anticipated.“Elphaba?” she yells again. Still, nothing. What if this isn’t even the right field? What if this was just coincidence?All at once, a flash of lightning strikes into the northern part of the field, not much farther from where she stands. Her fingers pulse, reaching for something. She sees it, then, as she turns to where the pull is from. There’s a small cloud of smoke in the air, from what she can only assume is a fire. Smoke means fire, and fire means-“Elphaba!”She takes off down the hill, ignoring how the grass cuts at her ankles. There are too many rocks she can’t see, and she finds herself kicking her heels off without much thought. The tingling in her fingers seems to get stronger, giving her some odd sense of hope that she’s going the right way. The grass going from green to poppy red urges her to run, to keep up the intensity. It all feels like something is changing. It takes her a good amount of time to make it close enough to the fire to see what it is: a group of small huts, though the smoke seems to come from only one. She stops for a moment, examining the area from afar. Something hits her cheek. Her fingers tingle. She looks up at the clouds, blinking when she feels another thing plunk on her face. Rain. She can’t stop the blithe smile that crosses her face. And then, before she can blink again, it comes down in sheets. She goes to run towards the hut, to ask for shelter from whoever is there, when she hears it. Actually, she almost misses it because of the thunder that booms once again. She has to pause and look twice to ensure she’s really seeing what’s in front of her. “Glinda?”Elphaba stands there with a frown on her face, broom in hand, pelted by rain. Glinda’s sure she looks no better. Worse, probably, because the gasps that escape her lungs must sound brutal. It takes no time for her to take off, ignoring the way the wet, cold ground digs into her bare feet, ignoring how her hair must be tangled and pressed to her head, ignoring the way her legs hurt from walking and her shoulders hurt from carrying herself for so long, ignoring the sobs that crawl out of her raw throat.She ignores the way the grass cuts her where she plows through. She ignores the thunder that’s shaking around them. She ignores almost everything to the point she can really only see the pink of her fingernails as she reaches forward and the green of the girl’s skin and the rolling fields of grass around them.“Glinda, I didn’t think you’d-”Her arms wrap around the girl before she can say anything else. “Elphaba,” she breathes out. The girl in front of her is warm, still covered in the worn black dress. The sight only makes her cry more, and she can feel her own tears mixing harmoniously with the rain. “You’re really here.”“I am,” Elphie replies, leaning back just for a moment to allow for eye contact. “I’m here.”She doesn’t even try to stop crying after that, pulling back in for another hug. This Elphaba is older than she’s known in so long; older, wiser, stronger, and her own. This Elphaba fits perfectly with her body, and she holds on tighter. “Thank Oz you’re alright,” she cries. “I thought you had… I thought-”“I know,” Elphaba responds, moving her hand to the back of Glinda’s head. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t mean…”Glinda can feel her own body shaking- can feel Elphaba’s too. They stand there for a minute, until Glinda's muscles ache from squeezing so tight. She pulls back to look at the girl's face. Her green eyes seem dulled. Her cheeks are sunken and her hair is gently braided, but Glinda can see its rough texture.“Are you really okay?” she asks. “Truly, now, without a lie.”Elphaba smiles sadly. “I will be, now that you’re here. We should go inside and dry off before we talk more.”The thought of Elphaba walking away sends a shiver down her back. She goes in for another hug, tucking her face into the girl’s shoulder. “Wait. Just a moment longer. Since we can.”Elphie doesn’t respond, only nods beneath her, bringing her hands back to run up and down Glinda’s back. She focuses her breathing on Elphaba’s, feeling the water run along her back without fear. They stay there until the storm ends, letting the cold rain wash over them and letting the grass and poppies sway around them.  /// Elphaba takes her to the house with the smoke rising from the chimney. The whole way, Glinda isn’t more than a foot away from her, hands and arms interlaced like how they used to walk around at Shiz. It’s warm inside, the fire heating the air, and she finally realizes how cold she is from the rain and how much her body aches from running. Her face is still blotched with tears and water, and Elphaba hands her a dry cloth without a word. “Thank you,” she responds politely, feeling the appreciativeness behind her own words for the first time in so long.She can’t say anything else before someone is walking in behind them.“Elphaba, I’ve found some good-”“Fiyero,” she mumbles out. It is Fiyero, she can tell, but he is different. He has changed. His skin is fabric. His hair is straw. He is undoubtedly the Scarecrow. Dorothy’s infamous Scarecrow, perhaps.She knows it’s Fiyero despite this. His eyes soften at her with hope and regret. His smile is the same. He holds himself proudly still. “Glinda found us,” Elphaba explains through the silence.“You came here?” he asks quietly. “How did you-”He doesn’t get a chance to finish before Glinda is squeezing his scratchy skin. “I’ve missed you so much,” she admits, letting herself cry again. He has changed, but he is also the same. They all are, in a way. “I’m so, so sorry.”“No, no,” he assures. “You have nothing to apologize for. I should be apologizing to you, for how it all ended up.”“Nonsense. I forgave you so long ago. My sweet prince.”“And I forgave you.”She pulls back to see his sorrowful smile. She wonders if he can even cry. He rubs her face with straw hands. “I’ve missed you too,” he repeats. “Both of you,” she tries to say. “I’m, I- this is-”Elphaba appears at her side, pulling her closer. “Take a deep breath.”She can only cry more, words lost into the air. She’s pretty sure they get the message, because in an instant, they’re all hugging. “I’m sorry,” she says again, but they both shush her quickly. Elphaba’s hands are warm on her back, and she tucks her head into a green neck.“My sweet,” Elphie says. She apologizes again and again until her cries turn gentle. She must doze off standing up, because one minute she’s standing between the two, and the next, Fiyero is gone and Elphaba is leading her to an empty bedroom. Her body moves itself as Elphaba stops her in front of the bed. The girl motions her hands up, and they’ve done this enough for Glinda to know what’s going on. She lifts her arms, and Elphie gently strips off her wet dress. A lighter, bigger black nightgown is pushed into her hands. “I don’t have anything pink,” Elphie explains, sounding apologetic. Glinda would laugh if she wasn’t reeling from exhaustion. “This is perfect,” she says back. Elphaba opens up the dress, slipping it over her head. In an instant, she is dry and warm and encased in Elphaba’s cedar scent. She’s pushed onto the bed as Elphaba changes herself, wrapping her wet braids into a cloth. A few minutes later finds them laying silently side by side. The bed is warm, but the air is cold, though that may be the lingering wetness of Glinda’s hair. Elphaba pulls a blanket tighter around her and she smiles. There’s so much to say, Glinda doesn’t know where to begin. She decides to start where it all began, truly.“I should’ve gone with you.” She doesn’t need to explain anything more. “Glinda, we-”“No. I should’ve gone with you. There’s so much that I wish I did differently.”She thinks of her honesty with Boq, her compassion for Nessa, her love for Fiyero, her empathy for the Animals, her faith in Elphaba. There’s much she’d do differently now- that she did do, maybe a few months and weeks ago now. “There’s no point in regretting anything,” Elphaba says calmly. “Besides, I’ve forgiven you since the moment I flew off without you.”A single tear tracks down her face. It falls onto the pillow beneath her before either of them could wipe it off. She almost misses the tears that leak from Elphaba’s eyes.“Maybe I’ve said that wrong. I mean- if it all happened now, I would’ve chosen to go with you. I will go with you, no matter what. I want you to know that. I would say yes.”She watches Elphaba’s sharp cheeks darken. “Thank you.”“We can fix it together now. The two of us.”“That’s a bold statement,” Elphaba says, half serious and half smiling. Glinda only stares at her. They must be a mess, a slobbery, tear-streaked mess of two girls who have been on the run for far too long.“What happened to your sense of justice?”Elphaba shrugs. “Perhaps we’ve both changed.”The truth is left in the air between them, their faces inches apart. “Don’t worry. I want to fix it- together, this time,” Elphie reassures. Her eyes are tired and hurt but also full of hope that Glinda has missed. “Me too,” Glinda responds, but thinks for a moment longer. Her doubts return. “It feels almost impossible, don’t you think?”“Not with you by my side.”Glinda can’t stop herself from leaning in. Elphaba must feel the same, must feel the same pull of magic between them, because they meet halfway. The kiss is gentle, so soft that Glinda could cry again. Elphaba’s hand reaches for her hair, and for a second she thinks the girl wants this as badly as her. She kisses again, slipping a tongue in ever so gently, and the moan she receives makes her crazy.They lean in deeper. Elphie’s hands travel down her back. Glinda’s find their way to the girl’s sharp cheeks.“I’ve missed you so much,” Elphaba whispers between a deep kiss. Glinda chases her back.The blankets gently wrinkle around them. This girl is so solid, so real, so soft. Glinda almost cries out when Elphie opens her mouth to go deeper.“Is it too early to say I love you?” Glinda says after they pull back. She doesn’t mean to sound so desperate, but the other girl’s eyes sparkle with desire and she doesn’t regret it.“I’ve been loving you for far, far longer,” Elphie breathes. They kiss again, and again, and again. Each time sends off fireworks. Glinda doesn’t think she’s held anything this precious before. They pull back, out of breath. Glinda’s eyes flit shut for a moment, and she wishes Elphaba doesn’t catch it. She’d much rather stay in this moment forever. Elphie must notice, because she’s pulling back with a deep breath. “Rest. You must be exhausted,” Elphaba whispers. She leans off the bed, gathering her robe around her. Glinda can’t stop the whimper from escaping her, hand lunging for a green arm. “Stay?” “If you insist.”“I do.”Later, she will tell her everything. Later, she will explain the lives she’s lived, the Elphaba’s she’s met and loved, the aches and pains of the magic that consumed her, the things she changed, the things she regrets, the things she remembers with a newfound clarity, and everything in between.Later, she decides. For now, she is content to lay in silence, listening to the girl’s breath next to her. She falls into a peaceful, dreamless sleep, and for the first time in years, she rests.  /// Time is messy. So is she. So is everything with Elphaba, and the Wizard, and the cruel and unfair nature of the world. People are selfish and people are arrogant and people are guarded, and nobody is perfectly good. She certainly wasn’t, but time has given her the chance to rewrite the things she regrets.There are always ways to re-right wrongs, she realizes with a firm conviction, to change for the better. For good.