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As the shore pulls back, there lies a buff blue dominating bear baby daddy (a BBDBBD) in the sand. Grains of sand fill the crevices of his oceanic rectum/gluteus maximus. He awakens, startled, moaning in excruciating pain, confused as the water surrounding him doesn’t feel like home, Pandora.“This isn’t my water!” Shocked, he then is clouded with thoughts of his husband, Luigi Mangione: “Where is he? Where is my husbando!?”“Are you from the other islands?” a feminine voice says excitedly. “We’ve been searching Beyond Motunui for civilisations other than our own. Are you that person?”“I… don’t know,” Jake says, his startled eyes searching for the source of the voice.“Know Who You Are,” another voice booms across the expanse of grass. It is deeper this time, like the husky rasp of a vaper who only consumes Summer Breeze™ . “You’re Jake Sulee.” He squints Asianly. “I am Dwayne.”“I am Demigod Moana, wife of Dwayne. Mangione is yours?” She reluctantly questions. “We know Mangione. He has pleaded not guilty to acts of murder and terrorism against this island, but we know the truth: he is guilty of killing our island’s healthcare CEO, Keke. Your husband is no more, for he was sentenced to death.” Jake Sulee gasps, pain filling his eyes. “He was killed this morning, by none other than The Ocean.” “Where is his body?” Jake Sulee cries. “I want to have sex with him one last time.”“His body is no more,” Moana booms.“His spirit?”“Held captive by our ancestors. He is currently having sex with Grandma Tulu; they have bonded over their chronic back pain.”Jake seems temporarily wounded by his husband’s infidelity, but quickly recovers, finding himself turned on by the thought of Luigi and Grandma Tulu pounding it out as ghosts.“How can I reach him?” Jake questions.Dwayne interrupts abruptly, “Only one way you make fire with Mangione again!” He looks over to Demigod Moana and smirks devilishly, “Threesome.”Suddenly, he is even more turned on, Jake Sulee’s tail perks up and wags. His eyelids drop, as his pupils dilate and he smirks a coy, alluring smile, seductively luring in Dwayne, “You sound tempting, Daddy Dwayne.” Gaining a sudden splash of clarity, Jake cries, “Wait! Show me Luigi first. Prove to me that you don’t just want to bed me, and nothing else.”Dwayne growls seductively, eager to encase his meat stick into Jake’s fanny. “Fine! Give me your tail.”Obediently and submissively, Jake’s tail curls around to meet Dwayne. With a flash of movement, Dwayne inserts his hook into the tip of Jake’s tail.Jake moans in pleasure at the sudden intrusion, Mangione and Grandma Tala intruding his mind, where he can see the pair vigorously pounding each other. Before any sense of jealousy arises, Dwayne halts the vision, removing his hook, teasing Jake Sulee enough to want to engage in their threesome. Suddenly, another flash of movement catches their eyes, as a limp, flaccid body washes up on shore. Upon it sits a Butch-Polynesian-Chinese-Masc-Demisexual-Sex-Addict-Non-Binary-Lesbian-Amputee.Moana frowns in confusion.“Loto? What are you doing here? And why are you riding Moni? Oh, by the way, Loto uses Xe/Xir pronouns,” she tells Jake.Loto drags Moni’s limp body out of the water. “He beat me up for being a Butch-Polynesian-Chinese-Masc-Demisexual-Sex-Addict-Non-Binary-Lesbian-Amputee!” Xe cries, throwing him face first into the sand.Moni suddenly lurches back to life, his fist colliding with Loto’s chiselled jawline.“He’s doing it again!” Loto screams. “OMG, stop victimising yourself,” Moni says, rolling his eyes, as he continues to beat Loto up.As the pair continue to wrestle on the ground, a faint form arises from the ocean, taking on the shape of a buff Italian man.“Guys, stop!” Luigi’s spirit cries. “Violence is never the answer. Not on Christmas Eve.”Jake had almost forgotten it was Christmas Eve. He was supposed to spend tomorrow, Christmas Day, with his Lord and Saviour, Luigi, but instead, he was trapped on a random island with Demigod Moana. “And by the way, Loto,” Luigi adds, “I just wanted to let you know that I support you. Your identity is valid.” He turns to Jake. “You must do what they say, so that we can reunite. Please, if not for us, do it for the middle class!” With that, he disappears into a poof of mist.Loto ignores Luigi, and continues to scream as Moni beats xir up. Turned on by the commotion, Jake looks to Dwayne and Moana. “I’m ready. Is Moni coming?” he asks, gesturing towards him, writhing on the ground, his body still glistening with water, sand sticking to his oiled-up skin as he attractively punches (and misses) Loto. “No,” Moana says, Master Dom Moni is a Pansexual-Aroace-Febfem-Gay-Bear-Daddy. He also has PTSD, because he drowned,” she explains compassionately. “As a result of such, he will not be engaging in our orgy.”Jake nods in understanding. “I see. I wish Master Dom Moni the best of luck in his PTSD recovery.”Demigod Moana leads Jake Sulee by his tail, bringing him to the Community Centre of Montuni. She carefully guides Jake, laying him on his back, leaving a soft kiss on his forehead. Dwayne follows in pursuit, his eyelids sink, heavy with unspoken desire, grabbing Jake’s tail and gently cupping it within his huge, rough, un-creamed hands.Demigod Moana enters the room, a plate of lit candles balanced in her hands.“Oh, ambient lighting!” Jake exclaims. “How considerate of you, Moana! I appreciate you trying to set the mood.” He smirks.“Yes,” Moana says slowly. “Ambient lighting.” Before Jake even has time to react, she fists his tail tightly. Squeezing it, his tail slit gradually opens up wide enough for her to drip the scalding hot liquid wax into his tail. Moana gradually moves up Jake’s body, effectively making a wax mold of his body. Hot wax encases his chiselled abs, seeping into his belly button. It drips down the side of his body, trickling into the cleft of his ass cheeks. “Lube,” Dwayne says, pointing at it.“Yes, Daddy Dwayne.” Jake submissively hands over the lube, wincing at the slight pain of the hot candle wax that lays atop his twelve pack. Demigod Moana positions herself atop Jake’s long, limp, wagging, eager tail, moaning as the tail slowly enters her tight, wet, ocean-dripping opening. Jake’s eyes widen as shock overwhelms him from not only the immense pleasure received from Demigod Moana’s warm slot, but the depth his tail is able to explore within her. Demigod Moana smirks slyly knowing his thoughts. “No one knows how deep it goes, no one knows how far.” With his arousal increasing with every passing second, he swirls within her, fast then slow, teasing her, edging her. “Please.” Her eyes rolling back, her hands behind her, gripping his legs tightly. “Let me Come on-a.”Jake cups her breasts, licking them and then biting them, he then hastily oscillates his tail in her, Come on-a-ing inside Moana. A pleasurable moan slips from him, his lids half-close, as though savoring the moment.Moana, too arriving at her climax, audibly gasps a sound filled with ecstasy. Suddenly, from behind, her breasts are fondled by a pair of calloused hands, skin weathered from years of Demigod work. She buries her face into the rough hollow of his neck, breathing in his rugged scent. Continuing to ride Jake’s tail, Dwayne tightly rubs her nipples between his coarse finger tips. Suddenly, the intimacy and sensuality that hung in the air is overshadowed by the dark, intruding presence of Nalo. Somewhere, distantly, a clock strikes midnight (even though clocks don’t exist yet). The moon reaches its zenith at the top of the sky, illuminating Demigod Moana as she arches majestically, her breasts perking up and swelling in size as she thrusts into the night sky. Orgasming, she squirts endlessly, simultaneously shooting streams of milk from her hard nipples into the air. In doing so, she forms a new constellation of stars, creating her own milky way (Cue Finding the Way ).Overwhelmed by the powerful, almighty orgasmic event that just transpired, she suffers an ending to her life. “I’m just a white guy who is so overwhelmed by the power of Polynesian culture RN,” Jake gasps, clutching his chest as if struck by the sheer power. “CHEE HOO!” he screams, throwing his head back like a bald eagle cawing into the sky above the White House as the American flag flows behind him in the wind.Dwayne dramatically drastically dwindles on the drama unfolding before his eyes, trying to make sense of the mere fact that someone, someone human, someone he considered his sister and lover, is now beyond life. He wails, “Come on-a, Demigod Moana”, holding onto her fragile, petite, weak body, begging the ancestors to give his wife another chance, for she is so full of determination and sex. He knows deep down, he can never find someone who fucks as good as her, she is the one for him. There is no one else who sucks his small, phallic cock the way she can. He pleads with the Gods, “Please, come on-a, Demigod Moana.”Gripping her still-warm sexy body to his bare chest, Dwayne inhales the scent of her skin, breathing in the sea salt of her hair. He gives her face a cautionary lick, tasting the sting of salt on his tongue. The immense power of the ocean renders him momentarily speechless; suddenly, he is struck by a vision, bestowed upon him by the gods. With perfect clarity, he realises what must be done. By the look on the others’ faces, he knows they have arrived at the same conclusion.Dwaye pumps his thick, tree-trunk like cock from flaccid to rock hard with a few expert strokes, his eyes never once leaving his lover’s lifeless body. Eyes filled with desperation, he dominatingly commands Jake to follow his lead. Turned on by the sheer passion and love Dwayne holds for Demigod Moana, Jake finds himself also nearing his own climax.“Butch-Polynesian-Chinese-Masc-Demisexual-Sex-Addict-Non-Binary-Lesbian-Amputee-Loto, you too!” Dwayne insists, fisting his cock tightly.“But I’m a recovering sex addict!” Butch-Polynesian-Chinese-Masc-Demisexual-Sex-Addict-Non-Binary-Lesbian-Amputee-Loto wails. “I can’t!”“For Demigod Mommy Moana!” Master Dom Moni, the Pansexual-Aroace-Febfem-Gay-Bear-Daddy commands. “You must!”Suddenly thrown into subspace, Butch-Polynesian-Chinese-Masc-Demisexual-Sex-Addict-Non-Binary-Lesbian-Amputee-Loto finds xirself unable to resist the demands of Master Dom Moni, the Pansexual-Aroace-Febfem-Gay-Bear-Daddy. Instantly, xe thrusts xir fingers into xir vagina, beginning to thumb xir clit with xir calloused fingers. At the sight of his sub fucking xirself into submission for him, Master Dom Moni the Pansexual-Aroace-Febfem-Gay-Bear-Daddy finds himself growing shockingly hard, his micropenis growing from 1.9 inches to a staggering, gag-worthy 2.75 inches. Materialising from the ocean mist, Tautai Vasa takes form before them, his face set with determination, just as it was when he first sailed out all those years ago. Just as before, he has his sights set on one goal; but this time, rather than land, it is Demigod Moana. He, too, strokes his cock to life. Alongside him, another figure begins to condense within the sea spray, taking on the form of Grandma Tala. Although her face is heavy with grief for the loss of Demigod Moana, her eyes are bright with determination. With her arthritis ridden fingers, she begins to fondle her wrinkly, saggy breasts, joints cracking as she does so. Dwayne, summoning his most commanding, dominating voice, counts down, “3…2…1…NOW!”. Simultaneously, the group combusts, unleashing wild squirts into the ocean. Moans, grunts, and gasps fill the air. Silence dominates the atmosphere.Grandma Tala fades out of existence, all energy of her physical manifestation being spent on her orgasmic orgasm.After a moment which feels like a lifetime, Demigod Moana rises into the air, her hair shortens a couple inches, facial hair becomes apparent, her skin pales, and she falls back onto the ground.Eyes widened, shocked and confused, Dwayne asks, “Demigod Moana?”, inching closer and closer.She stands--or rather, he stands.“I am Demigod Moana no longer,” s/he utters, cupping Dwayne’s face. “I am Jesus Christ.”“What? Are you saying you have come on-a-ed back to life? As Jesus Christ?” Jake questions.“Yes, my loyal follower. I am Demi-Demigod Moana.”“OMG, Dami Im?” Butch-Polynesian-Chinese-Masc-Demisexual-Sex-Addict-Non-Binary-Lesbian-Amputee-Loto gasps. “Winner of the Fifth Season of Australian X-Factor, and runner up of the 2016 Eurovision? Are you back from your Melbourne concert so soon?”“No, Butch-Polynesian-Chinese-Masc-Demisexual-Sex-Addict-Non-Binary-Lesbian-Amputee-Loto,” Master Dom Moni the Pansexual-Aroace-Febfem-Gay-Bear-Daddy correctly, “she means--”“Yes,” Demi-Demigod Moana interrupts. “I am Dami Im Jesus.”Butch-Polynesian-Chinese-Masc-Demisexual-Sex-Addict-Non-Binary-Lesbian-Amputee-Loto faints.Jake intrudes, “My husband. I have done what was asked of me. Please, I want him back.” His eyes shine like the milky cum way constellation that radiates above them, tears fall.Dami Im Jesus smiles, and performs the haka, manifesting multiple Dami Im Jesuses, shouting “Ka mate, ka mate, ka ora, ka ora!” (Respectfully, culturally appreciating such a beautiful and powerful culture.) Suddenly a blue light emits from nowhere, and Granny Fanny Tala reemerges. In her hands, lays a pink Valentine’s Day themed anglerfish, who has PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder), dyslexia, dyscalculia, anxiety, ADHD (attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder), DID (dissociative identity disorder), BPD (borderline personality disorder), depression, ASPD (antisocial personality disorder), NPD (narcissistic personality disorder), ASD (autism spectrum disorder), OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder), anorexia, bulimia, BED (binge eating disorder), EDNOS (eating disorder not otherwise specified), ARFID (avoidant restrictive food intake disorder), POTS (postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome), EDS (Ehlers-Danlos syndrome), FAS (fetal alcohol syndrome), MCAS (mast cell activation syndrome), TS (Tourette’s syndrome), FNS (functional neurological syndrome) agoraphobia, emetophobia, trypophobia, a lisp, schizophrenia, trichotillomania, a peanut allergy, lactose intolerance, (APD) auditory processing disorder, (LPD) language processing disorder, dyspraxia, pectus excavatum, Celiac disease, a micropenis, three nipples, eczema, topical steroid withdrawal, cystic acne, a cocaine addiction, an ecstasy addiction, leukaemia, osteoporosis, arthritis, and is also a vegan, cannibal, deaf-blind-selectively-mute, ambulatory wheelchair user and a transracial, therian, quadruple amputee who uses zit/zat pronouns and has a text to speech typing quirk: Sy.“Um, actually,” Butch-Polynesian-Chinese-Masc-Demisexual-Sex-Addict-Non-Binary-Lesbian-Amputee-Loto announces, suddenly awakening from xir coma, “this is cultural appropriation. Demigod Moana might have been able to perform the haka, but Dami Im Jesus, a South Korean Jew, cannot.”“It’s cultural appreciation!” Master Dom Moni the Pansexual-Aroace-Febfem-Gay-Bear-Daddy snaps. “God, Butch-Polynesian-Chinese-Masc-Demisexual-Sex-Addict-Non-Binary-Lesbian-Amputee-Loto, why do you always have to be so woke ?”Angrily, Butch-Polynesian-Chinese-Masc-Demisexual-Sex-Addict-Non-Binary-Lesbian-Amputee-Loto splashes Master Dom Moni the Pansexual-Aroace-Febfem-Gay-Bear-Daddy with sea water, sending him into a PTSD-induced panic attack. He falls over into the water, where he thrashes helplessly, and presumably drowns.Granny Fanny Tala walks out and announces, “Luigi Manny baby boy has completed his duties, fucking me slowly and passionately. I can see he truly has a fire within him and deserves to fuck more in his lifetime.”Dami Im Jesus displays jazz hands and out comes Luigi Mangione. “Manny, my boy, I have cured you of your chronic back pain; no longer do you have to kill healthcare CEOs. I hereby declare you able to have sex whenever and wherever.” Mangione walks out, kissing Granny Fanny Tala once more, with his back up straight, he smiles at Jake Sulee, “It’s Christmas, baby, what are we waiting for? Let’s go celebrate.”“Christmas Orgy!” Dwayne grunts eagerly.The group all hurriedly make their way back to the Community Center of Motunui (Sy rolls).