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Silco seems thoughtful this evening, sitting at the bar and absentmindedly swirling his drink. Every now and then his eyes flick up to meet Vander’s. Vander always looks away first, not wanting to be called out for staring. Sue him, the guy is beautiful.
The two of them had been rekindling their relationship slowly over the past few months. Well, emotionally slowly, at least. They had fucked within a week. But it had been a fairly unromantic ordeal, and Silco had left immediately after. They hadn’t spoken about it again.
They also hadn’t initiated anything physical since then. After Silco’s hasty departure, Vander figured he might be having regrets, so he decided to let him make any first moves in the future, if ever.
‘If ever’ seems to be coming sooner than he thought, if the way he’s being eyed like a piece of meat is anything to go by. Wouldn’t be a bad time for it either, the kids are all at Benzo’s for the night, so they’d have the place to themselves.
That’d have to wait though. He had a shift to finish, even if the bar was already starting to clear out.
-
By the end of the evening, he’s somewhat forgotten about Silco. He’s nothing if not a professional, after all. He finishes cleaning up and glances over his shoulder to where the other had been sitting, but he’s apparently already retired to the back room.
Thing is though, the moment he steps through the door to join him, he gets slammed against the wall.
Instinct kicks in before he even registers what’s happening and their positions are immediately reversed, his hand on someone’s throat.
He blinks.
“Gods above Sil, you damn near gave me a heart attack,” he groans, letting him go. The other man rolls his shoulders and scoffs. He looks a bit disappointed that Vander backed off so quickly.
“Imagine that. The Hound of the Underground, frightened to death in his own home.”
“What the hell were you even doing?” he asks incredulously, scrubbing a hand down his face. “I could’ve hurt you.”
Silco tilts his head with an unimpressed expression, clearly ignoring what he’s saying.
“What do you see when you look at me?”
“What?” He shakes himself, looking over his face. His eyes can’t help but linger on the scarring.
“See, that there. That look,” Silco growls, shoving him back. “I fucking hate it. Pity, guilt, whatever it is. Stop it.”
“Stop… being sorry?”
“Stop looking at me like I’m a mistake,” he snaps. “Like I’m some kind of regrettable tragedy. Get over yourself.”
He stares at him, baffled.
“Silco, I… I hurt you. Irreparably. I don’t- I can’t forgive myself for that.”
“You forgave me and I forgave you just fine, so, get. Over. Yourself,” he repeats. It’s an odd feeling, being so aggressively presented with exoneration. The man spits ‘forgave’ like an insult. “I am tired of being treated like glass. You’ve been walking on eggshells with me this whole damn time and it’s fucking nauseating, I don’t care.”
“Sil, I just-“
“And another thing!” Vander shuts up. He’s on a roll now, might as well let him get it all out. “I am not fucking you again if it turns into another bloody round of sappy apology sex! For gods’ sake it’s like you didn’t even care, you just did whatever you thought I wanted as carefully as possible. I know for a fact that that wasn’t how you like it and it’s not how I like it either!”
Vander leans back, thoughtful, looking thoroughly reprimanded.
“I… I’m sorry.”
“Oh, spare me.” He rolls his eyes. “I don’t want you to spend the rest of our lives trying to atone for what you did, I just want you to be normal again. Please.”
“…I’ll do my best.”
“Good boy.”
Abruptly, he’s pulled into a rough kiss. He missed this, admittedly.
Silco pulls back gradually, slightly out of breath with a clear question in his eyes. He’s being given an out. He could leave now and the both of them would talk about this another time, no harm done. He doesn’t think either of them would prefer that option.
Sure. Why not.
His decision must show in his expression because when he looks back at Silco, he’s got that self-satisfied smirk on his face.
“Come on then. Fuck me like you mean it this time.”
Vander shoves him fully against the wall, leaning into another kiss at the same time as he slots his leg between Silco’s. He fists a hand in his hair and Silco makes a soft sound, grinning against his mouth as he grinds his knee upwards.
His lip is slightly bloody when he pulls back. Silco’s idea of making out has always involved more teeth than average. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t like it.
He hesitates for just a second, reminding himself that Silco explicitly asked him to stop being so careful with him. Still, he at least wants to be paying close attention in case he changes his mind.
The hand in Silco’s hair tightens, yanking his head back to expose his throat as he begins to kiss down his neck. If the noise he makes is anything to go by, the gesture is appreciated.
“Finally,” the other man exhales as a large hand grabs his waist to keep him still. “All that muscle and I have to practically beg you to do anything worthwhile with it.”
“If you want this so bad I suggest being a little nicer about it.”
“Piss off.”
“I mean, really, I could just leave you here,” he hums, knowing full well that neither of them believes that for a second. Vander’s never been good at denying him. Doesn’t help that his free hand is fumbling with his belt as he says it.
“You’d come crawling right back. All bark and no- ah-“ Silco cuts himself off as Vander decides to preemptively prove him wrong, sinking his teeth to leave a mark where his neck meets his shoulder. He digs his fingernails into him in retaliation. Vander just laughs and presses a kiss over the bite.
“You’re really whiny, anyone ever tell you that?”
“You’re the first, oddly enough,” Silco huffs, letting his impatience win out and shoving his own pants down before dragging Vander back against him. “Hurry it up, I’m getting bored.” Vander shrugs and gets to work with his fingers, pulling a satisfied exhale out of him.
“Terribly sorry, princess. Any other requests from His Highness while I’m at it?”
He gets smacked on the head for that, which, okay, fair. He sighs.
“You sure you don’t wanna move to a bed first?”
“What, is the wall not good enough for you? Who’s the princess now, hm?” The statement would have more bite to it if the man wasn’t already breathy and borderline whimpering.
“Fuck me for worrying about your back, I guess.”
“Vander, that is the point,” he groans, grinding down on his hand. “I don’t know how many other ways I can say I don’t want this to be gentle. If I’m not regretting this tomorrow, you’ll have done it wrong. Now get your pants off.”
“…copy that.” He pulls his fingers out with an obscene slick sound and wipes his hand off on the other man’s thigh. Silco has the nerve to grimace. “Don’t give me that look, it’s your own fault. Not to mention you’re gonna be a mess at the end of this either way.”
“Promises, promises.”
He kisses him just to shut him up. The back of his head hits the wall with a dull thump that he vaguely worries about, but no complaints are raised. His trousers are discarded somewhat awkwardly, the two of them too occupied to pay any attention to it. Vander pulls back first.
“Sure you don’t want more prep? I could-“
“You could get on with it.”
“Fair enough.”
Silco melts against him as soon as he starts pushing in. He’s never been especially loud, per se, but Vander thinks he sounds beautiful in his own understated way. He wraps an arm around him, lifting him slightly to get a better angle. His other hand is back in his hair, not quite pulling yet, just resting there. He starts slow, gradually picking up speed as they go. Silco makes a satisfied sound.
“I missed this.”
“Didn’t you say not to get sappy?”
“Perhaps I only missed the dick, not-“ he pauses, stifling a moan. “-Not the man attached. Don’t flatter yourself.”
“Sure.”
“Hush.”
“Awfully bossy, for someone in your position.”
“I will bite your dick off.”
“I thought you missed it?”
“F-” he falters, taking a shuddering breath, “-fuck you.”
“Already doing that, love.”
Silco gives up on talking, letting his head fall to rest on the other’s shoulder. Probably good that Vander kept his shirt on with the way his nails are digging into his back. He jolts when the other man bites him to muffle a noise, grabbing him by the neck and pulling him back.
Silco glances pointedly down at the hand on his throat before looking back up, a clear challenge in his expression. He can feel the other’s pulse hammering under his thumb. He tightens his grip slightly without even thinking and is rewarded with the loudest sound Silco’s made all night, choked-off as it is.
It’s… strange, for lack of a better word. To be made so abruptly aware of how completely you’ve been forgiven. It’s one thing to be told, but it’s entirely different to be shown. He nearly killed this man once. If he’d had his way at the time, he would have killed him. And yet, here that same man is, trusting him as easily as breathing. Confident enough in his safety to lean into him and grin while he’s- albeit gently- getting choked.
But hey, he can cry happy tears about that later. For now, he’s got a job to do and a partner who already looks disappointed by the loosening grip on his neck.
Speaking of that partner, he’s apparently decided that it’s time they change positions. Throwing all his weight forward at once, he knocks Vander down and onto his back, pinning him. Normally it wouldn’t be that easy but he was a tiny bit distracted. Silco’s been sparring with him for a long time anyway, he knows how to take him down better than anyone
Silco does pause for roughly three seconds to check that he didn’t actually hurt him, which is appreciated, he supposes.
“Fuckin’ hell, Sil, you could’ve just asked.” Silco hums and rolls his hips, uncaring.
“More fun this way. And I know you’re fine, you’re built like a tank.”
“You’re so mean to me.”
“Pouting over a little rough handling,” he teases, leaning forward to kiss him. “You’re getting soft, old man.”
“We’re the same age.”
“And it looks better on me. I’m thriving.”
“You are gorgeous,” he agrees.
Silco freezes up, blinking down at him like a deer in headlights.
“...right. Right. Sure,” he responds slowly, laughing incredulously. There’s no humour to it. He never has been very good at taking a compliment, but this feels. Different, somehow. Vander frowns.
“Hey.” He cups Silco’s face, turning his head to look him in the eyes. “You are. You’re breathtaking.”
“Vander, I… can we do this later?” It sounds more like a plea than a question. “I just- I need this to- to not be this. Please.”
“Silco-”
“Please.”
“...Okay. Later.” He does stop just long enough to give him a softer kiss. “Alright, your turn.”
“What?”
He flips them over so he’s on top now, a little rougher than is strictly necessary, startling an ‘oof’ out of the other. He can’t help but laugh at the indignant look on his face. “I’ll remind you, you did ask for this.”
“...That I did,” he relents, lying back and relaxing. Vander starts thrusting again slowly, teasingly. Silco tries to move against him to speed things up, but he just grabs his hip and pushes it down, keeping him in place. He outright whines when his other hand starts to stroke his clit. “Vander-”
“Mhm? What’s up?” He keeps the pressure light, more just toying with him than anything.
“You- come on-” he grumbles, trying and failing to move against him.
“Ah, did you want something?”
“Yes, you asshole-” He starts to sit up. Vander takes his hand off him, pushing him down instead.
“You know, I did ask you to be nicer earlier. Maybe I’ll consider it if you ask politely.”
Silco’s eyes narrow. “I hate you.”
“That’s not very polite.” Silco just scoffs and thrashes in his hold, trying to get some leverage, but with him pinned like this it’s nearly impossible for him to move if Vander doesn’t let him.
“You are insufferable,” he snarls, writhing under him like a caged animal. Vander hums, maintaining the slow pace. If he really wants him to stop, he knows how to tell him. That’s not what this is.
“All. You have. To do,” he says slowly, punctuating each set of words with a languid thrust, “Is ask. Nicely.”
“Fine- fine,” he snaps, rolling his eyes. “Please.” It’s entirely monotone. The expectant look alone is enough to pull a snort out of Vander.
“What, is that the best you can do?”
“I beg your pardon?”
“You don’t, actually. Apparently, you’re terrible at begging.”
“I am not going to grovel, if that’s what you want.”
“Really, I’m not asking much. Is the bare minimum too hard for you?” That gets a sharp inhale from him. For a second he gets ready to backtrack, but the look on Silco’s reddening face tells him everything he needs. “Oh?”
“Shut your mouth.”
“Y’know, I don’t think I will. You’re not the one giving orders here, love.” His hand trails down his chest, taking his time.
“I am going to kill you.”
“You want me so bad it makes you look stupid.”
“Fucking hell-“
“Still doesn’t sound like ‘asking politely’ to me. Can’t even follow a simple instruction.” His hand goes back to his clit, still not applying any satisfying amount of pressure.
“Gods- fucking- please? Please, Vander, I don’t know, just- fuck, please-“
“There we go.” The sound Silco makes when he starts fucking him in earnest comes out as more of a sob than a moan. “I should get you this worked up more often. It’s cute.”
Silco makes a valiant but quickly abandoned effort to glare at him before letting his head fall back. His hand is back on his neck, holding him down, pressing just enough to get a reaction. Silco chokes out “harder” with a wild look in his eyes.
Vander likes to consider himself a good listener.
His grip tightens, hips snapping forward rhythmically. “Fuck, Sil- you’re perfect. You’re so good-“
An upside to the choking is that Silco can’t dispute his praises. Though, he doesn’t seem to be entirely registering anything he’s saying at this point. He lets go after a few more seconds, letting him gasp and catch his breath.
Silco inhales raggedly before spitting “if you cum before me I’ll kill you.”
“You’ve been throwing that threat around a lot. I’m starting to think you don’t mean it.”
He bites out something that vaguely sounds like “fuck you”, but who can say for sure.
He tugs his hair again, pulling his head back, leaning forward to mark up his neck a little more. He’ll probably get mad at him later for leaving them in such visible places, but that’s fine. He’s confessed before that he does like it, even if he complains.
His other hand moves to his waist, pulling him against him, arching his back. “C’mon, baby.” He digs his fingers in. Might bruise a little. He doesn’t know when that idea became so attractive to him. The pain makes Silco whimper, though, and that definitely doesn’t make it less enticing. “Cum for me, love.”
Silco shudders as he finishes, throwing his head back, legs wrapped around him tightly. He really does make the prettiest sounds.
Vander isn’t far behind him, managing to hold off just until Silco starts to squirm with overstimulation. He stays there for a moment afterwards, just holding him.
Eventually, slowly, he pulls out, sitting back and wiping the sweat off his brow.
Silco exhales leisurely, not moving from the floor. “…that was nice.”
“Nice?”
He waves a hand dismissively. “Don’t critique my word choices, it’s your fault I can barely think right now.”
“That’s high praise, I’m flattered.”
Silco hums, reaching up expectantly. “Take me to bed, I don’t want to get up.”
Vander gives a long-suffering sigh, even as he immediately moves to obey.
“As you wish, love.”