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“This is your fault.”You try your best to look apologetic, which is at least twice as hard when you're sporting a Cheshire grin.“I mean it. Stop smiling.”“I'm trying!” You barely manage the words without bursting into laughter.“You know what? Don't even look at me. Go sit in the corner. You're on time out Missy!”A chortle escapes as you grab a chair and face the wall.“I thought you of all people wouldn't fuck with me on Christmas of all days.”“But I-”“Still talking!” Tony cuts through your pathetic attempt at apologizing. “You know how hard the holidays are for me!”“You're not the only one who's been through a break up.” Clint rappels down from the vents and holds out a tray of leftover Christmas cookies. You pick an angel shaped cookie and wolf it down immediately.“Yes, but I'm the only person who's been dumped and then tossed out the window at 50 miles per hour within the same week.”You finally lose control and flop onto the ground, shrieking with laughter and spraying crumbs everywhere.“Come off it, Stark, your suit was on before my punch landed. Barely scuffed the paint.” Bruce walks in, still shirtless from his transformation. You whistle at the sight, causing him to glare at you as he grabs the collar of your shirt and hoists you to your feet. “And the mistletoe was your stupid idea.”“He got it for the SHIELD Christmas party because the cute new intern was attending.” Leave it to Nat to figure out Tony's hidden intention.“She didn't even show up though.” Clint remarks, taking a cookie for himself.“According to her Instagram she's sick.” You add, tugging yourself out of Bruce's grip.“Wait, how come she added you?! She said she had a ‘no social media with coworkers’ rule!”You shrug. “My memes are the dankest. We also share the same affinity for manatee videos and glass blowing tutorials.”“Glass blowing?” Tony gives you a suspicious look. “Is that a euphemism?”
“I think the better question is, why were you kissing my girl?”
At Bruce's accusatory question, everyone turns to stare accusingly at Tony in unison.“Because. It's the holidays. You gotta respect the mistletoe.” Tony announces deadpan, completely serious.“You shouldn't have walked under the doorway the same time as me,” you remark. “And you definitely didn't have to kiss me.”“And you definitely didn't have to use tongue!” Tony is convinced this is 100% your fault.You'd be happy to debate that with him for the next hour or so, but let's be honest, you've got something more important planned.“Can I talk to you alone, Bruce?” You give him your most innocent smile, which bounces off his dark scowl.“I was about to say the same thing. Move.”
You motion Bruce inside when you get to your room, but he hangs back, face still stormy as ever. You'll be rectifying that shortly.“What's the matter, didn't enjoy the party?” You ask like you're oblivious.His jawline juts out as he grits his teeth, which you admire with a subconscious lick of your lips.“You're gonna pretend you didn't just make out with Tony in front of everyone?!”You give him your best look of surprise. “Isn't it supposed to be in front of everyone? That's the point of mistletoe, like a party game. Doing it behind your back would be wrong.”“A party game is like charades! Or Parcheesi! Not Frenching someone!” Bruce's face starts turning green again.“Hmm, I'm not a fan of Parcheesi. Mistletoe is much better.”“I don't care!” Bruce yells, grabbing the door jamb and leaving large finger shaped dents. “From now on, keep your lips to yourself. I don't care if it's mistletoe, St. Patrick's Day, or if it's a hostage demand!”“St. Patrick's Day is pinching, Bruce-”“No kissing anyone else. Ever. Again.” Bruce’s angry voice rings through the hallway, causing you to clench down on nothing.
God, he's hot when he's jealous.
You widen your eyes, like it's just dawning on you.Like you haven't pushed him to the edge of the cliff, or even off the cliff completely, just for kicks. Just for getting your own kicks.“Ohh, Brucie. Are you jealous?”“Of course!” He fires back, a fish grasping foolishly onto your bait. “Wouldn't you be?!”“Kissing Tony’s no big deal, I wouldn't mind if you did it too.”Your brazen misinterpretation is desperately transparent, but the green giant grapples uselessly against the green eyed beast.“Well, I mind.” Bruce releases the door frame with a sigh, bits of plaster sprinkling down like your very own twisted snowflake shower.“Ok.” You decide to put him out of his misery, wrapping your arms around him and pressing your face into his chest. “I'll only kiss you from now on.”He relaxes into your hug, forgiving you immediately.“And, Brucie, I have some good news.”Your mischievous tone gives him pause; he pulls away to scan your face for clues.“What are you up to?”You giggle, pulling a sprig of mistletoe out and tucking it into the waistband of his pants.He groans, half exasperated and half turned on, as you pull down his zipper and settle onto your knees.“So? How about a kiss?”