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Damn it all. Not this shit again. No no no no no. NO. NO WAY. Urupon: HELLO?Urupon: where the fuck are youUrupon: god. we're going to fucking lose this shit if you don't move!Urupon: god fucking damn it!Urupon: WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?Urupon: nah... we're screwed...Urupon: give me control i begUrupon: we still have a 0.001% chance of winning if you give me control right nowUrupon: man. are you fucking deadUrupon: this is painful to watch. dude they're annihilating us
YOU LOSE.
Whatever. It was over. If it wasn't for the fact that he had to work overtime for an entire year to get himself the ultimate nicest gaming setup, which ended up being even better than what he was imagining it to be, Kouyou would have happily crushed his monitor with a fist in that moment. Urupon: it's over... we lostUrupon: we fucking lost manUrupon: god. i'm going to log off before i go insult you in all the languages i know which are sadly only 2Urupon: just. fuck off dude! we spent like 10 months to get at the finals and you just go disappearing on me!Urupon: from the bottom of my fucking heart: fuck off! Yeah. Sleepycutie had to fuck off. Kouyou was stubbornly staring at his computer screen, like he could magically rewind time and Sleepycutie would magically remember he was in charge of the last phase of their game strategy which they had planned together for now around a month, as soon as they got informed they accessed to the finals.Sleepycutie's role was so, now unfortunately, fucking important in this whole plan of action and Kouyou damnably trusted him because Sleepycutie happened to show off his gaming skills a countless of times since teaming up with Kouyou as his gaming buddy, and for some reason, Sleepycutie happened to be unnervingly good. Which is why Kouyou ended up asking him to form a gaming duo with him.Quite frankly, Sleepycutie was fucking amazing. Kouyou felt completely humiliated and like an absolute moron whenever Sleepycutie seemed to win against him on just a stupid whim, and maybe because the beginner's luck's deity was so fond of Sleepystupid for some stupid reason. It helped the guy crush Kouyou's strategies, which were nothing but the result of pure logic.Luck winning against logic. What kind of bullshit was that. He had no idea.Whatever. He didn't care. He was good enough himself and if he was being totally honest with himself, he was feeling kind of lucky having Sleepycutie as his gaming ally because it helped him go far, and the fulfillment he felt winning together with him was kind of special. Using such a word to describe how he felt was kind of awkward, stupid and cringe but it was special. Kouyou thought about it for a long moment and there was no better word. It was simply special. Sleepycutie: Urupon?Sleepycutie: ah... oh no we lost :(Sleepycutie: oh my god i'm so sorry... After what felt like a fucking eternity, Kouyou's gaming buddy was magically online again.Too bad it was too late and he didn't care to talk to him in that moment, but the anger kind of dissipated already. If he was being honest with himself, which was hard every time because old habits were hard to kill, he knew he was throwing too much of a tantrum but damn, it was frustrating.Sleepycutie had a weird flaw. Every now and then he'd go disappear and it didn't bother Kouyou too much because Sleepycutie was simply just behind a screen like Kouyou was, and at the end of the day he had his own life too, and emergencies and whatever stops even the-most-dedicated-gamer-in-the-fucking-world from looking at his screen for a moment and take care of whatever real life issues surfaced out of nowhere. Kouyou didn't want to get mad about that.It was normal and it happened to everyone, but with Sleepycutie it was so frequent and sometimes the timing was more than the absolute worst, and Kouyou just didn't get it.He wanted to be warned, he wanted to know if there was a chance of his gaming buddy disappearing on him again just so he could be prepared. Plan a second strategy and win regardless of Sleepysilly's presence.It wasn't supposed to be so hard. It certainly didn't seem to cross any boundary, since Kouyou didn't care to know Sleepycutie's business and had no right demanding reasons out of him either. He only expected a sort of "hey, today is kind of like this and like that. i might not be super reliable at all times, please keep that in mind while we play" that would have sufficed, but it was never like that.He sighed. Sleepycutie would just disappear and then come back and apologize like it'd fix things. What a pain in the ass. Urupon: you're lateSleepycutie: i know... i'm so sorry oh god :(Sleepycutie: are you still mad... you have every right to be mad. i'm really sorry And for some stupid reason, the apology sounded genuinely sincere every time. Sure, he never really said what happened and why he disappeared but it seemed sincere and Kouyou didn't have it in him to be that mad anymore. Not more than necessary at least, but then logically, he'd think of the whole situation again and being mad was the only logical reaction. Sleepycutie wouldn't have made it out so easily, not this time.Ten fucking months were a big stupid mush diluted amount of time, and Kouyou was kind of 100% convinced they were gonna win that shit and get first place. He had been fantasizing and dreaming of that outcome for a while now, and in a second it just died out.It made him feel so stupid. Rule number one since the very first day he was brought into the world: never allow yourself trusting people too much. Too much trust was for the weak. He felt weak now, having trusted someone who was nothing more than just his online gaming bestie. Feeling weak was fucking lame. Urupon: out of all days it happened todayUrupon: i'm really trying so hard to not let my foul mouth take over but i am genuinely frustrated, i really thought we were gonna win thisUrupon: like. you just had to be here and we'd have wonSleepycutie: i know, i'm so sorry something came up. how can i make it up to you :( i'd do anything really Kouyou didn't know Sleepycutie personally and had no idea the weight his words might have had on him, but he knew being too mean would have probably ended up upsetting anyone. Especially someone who says 'i'm sorry' so many times and never even uses swear words when they're known to be part of every gamer's lingo.Yeah. Sleepycutie was behind a screen and Kouyou knew nothing at all about him but he imagined the guy to be kind of soft and sweet.This type of reasoning formed in his head because whoever had Sleepycutie as their stupid handle kind of had to be a little soft. That stupid handle said enough already, and then sometimes the guy would use kaomojis and Kouyou would have thought "this has to be a girl" if it wasn't for the he/him pronouns on his profile. Kouyou didn't want to be too much of an asshole to him. Being too much of an asshole to him also meant being too much of an asshole to a cute Cinnamoroll profile picture looking at him with cute and blue pleading eyes, and maybe he was being manipulated. Being on the internet was becoming too fucking dangerous for that exact reason, because why in the fucking world would something like that make him feel bad. Whatever. He really didn't want to be too mean to Cinnamoroll.To Sleepycutie.He would have felt kind of bad. He didn't really know why and he didn't want to know, thinking too much about that was weird.It still did feel fucking unfair though. He had to do something about that before it became a problem too big for him to care about, it was just gaming after all.Kouyou decided he was going to break their rule.Yeah, that was it. Sleepycutie made it clear since the very first day their gaming duo was officially formed that the only one thing he wasn't ready to do, neither then nor in the future, was meeting in real life. It was kind of a strange request because Kouyou never even thought of it, and had no interest in that happening. They were just gaming besties, their alliance was not more than just virtual and it didn't need any development in real life. That rule wasn't an issue, but curiosity had a life on its own and at that point it was hard to stop it.To be honest it was just thrilling. Sleepycutie had wronged Kouyou in some way and that was the one thing he knew for certain his too-prone-to-apologize all the time virtual friend didn't really like, and Kouyou wanted to make him feel a bit bad too. It was kind of exciting and he might have been a bit of a sadist without even knowing it.Fuck yeah, he was gonna do that. Kouyou muttered something under his breath and then he just typed it out. Urupon: we have to meetMaybe he was gonna snap a thread by doing that but he didn't really care in that moment.Sleepycutie: what?Urupon: yeah you read that rightSleepycutie: what about our rule?Urupon: that's your rule, not mine Kouyou had a triumphant glint in his eyes. Yeah, he was doing that right. Sleepycutie was probably panicking a bit but that was okay and Kouyou had to reason to feel bad about it. They both literally wasted a time of a whole ten fucking months, involving a god awful amount of hours playing that costed Kouyou blaspheming several different deities throughout it all, and if he was gonna go to hell when dead, he was gonna blame Sleepycutie for that.He remembered all too well they both set winning first place as their objective so they could get the prize but they didn't and that was Sleepycutie's fault. Hell, no. He wasn't gonna fucking soften up just because of someone hiding behind a screen with Sleepycutie as their handle and a stupidly cute Cinnamoroll profile picture. Sleepycutie: i understand that you're mad
Sleepycutie: but is this really the only way i can make it up to you?
Urupon: yeah it is. take it or we splitSleepycutie: ah wow you're threatening me now...Urupon: listen. we have boundaries and i never ask why you go disappearing on me when we're so close winning and i swear if i had the power i'd tie you up on a chair and make sure you do what you have to do when your turn comes so we win but i can't do that and this is kind of crazy to say but at this point i don't care. let's just meet Okay he was having fun. That was fun. He was kinda feeling like he just regressed to a childlike state. He never talked with Sleepycutie about meeting, and honestly he was curious seeing how he'd freak out about it. It was genuinely entertaining and Kouyou deserved that at least as a way to unwind and get over their stupid and nonsensical game over. Sleepycutie: why do you wanna meet now? you never seemed to care about it
Urupon: well now i do.Sleepycutie: that's just a way to get back at me, you meanie >:(Urupon: well yeah. can you blame me?Urupon: but also. it's not that big of a deal, i honestly thought about it
Urupon: if you're catfishing me you can relax because i don't care, this is not a dating appUrupon: technically you can't be catfishing me because i never saw you but i assume you're just a guy in your 20s as i am but i don't care if you're not, i don't care what you look likeUrupon: you might be a girl or a man in his 50s or a grandmaUrupon: but well i doubt that. because you should kind of have some good gaming reflexes for that and no offense to grandmas but i don't think they have thatUrupon: i guess you're a dude Kouyou felt riddled with mixed emotions, he should have done that sooner.It was fun. Sleepycutie didn't seem astronomically nervous, not yet at least, but Kouyou had to get his revenge and after all he was more than curious to uncover whoever was behind that person who seemed to enjoy so much creating their whole online persona as a sleepy and clumsy creature who happened to be a little bit too good at gaming.That was a bit out of character. You can't be a little gaming god and then be clumsy and just so nice all the time and only say "damn it. that's too bad :(" when losing.
How was it possible that he did not use the word "fuck"?Sleepycutie was weird and that was exciting. And maybe Kouyou knew absolutely nothing about this person inside his computer who actually had a real life and existed in the real world. He might have had misread everything. His assumptions were wrong all along and Sleepycutie wasn't soft at all. Maybe he was some tough guy in a satanic cult or maybe a dude collecting cute anime girls action figures and having all of them displayed in his room with purple lights all around, because they looked so pretty like that at night and those were his waifus and he loved them. Kouyou was trying not to laugh as a madman at that thought. Urupon: are you there?Sleepycutie: yeah sorry, i was thinkingUrupon: nothing to think about. let's just meetSleepycutie: i said i'd do anything but i'm not sure about thisSleepycutie: is there really nothing else i can do? :(Urupon: no there's not. this is a gaming chatroom and you're my gaming buddyUrupon: literally all you need to do is play when we schedule it and just. try to win?Urupon: which isn't hard for you. because you're goodUrupon: so yeah nothing else you can do. let's just meetSleepycutie: but we don't really know much about each otherUrupon: oh are you scared?Urupon: well. i'm not a serial killer if that's what you're worried aboutUrupon: my name's kouyou and i'm 21Urupon: do i need to send you a picture so you know what i look likeSleepycutie: i actually do know that... Pause. What did he just say? What the fuck did he just say? Urupon: what are you talking aboutUrupon: you don't, i never showed my face on here and never sent you a picture What kind of shit was Sleepycutie pulling on him now, the little creep. There was just no way he was saying the truth. Sleepycutie: i'm sorry i didn't tell you but if i did, that meant also revealing my identity and i didn't want to do thatSleepycutie: i mean i found out about your identity but not on purpose i swear, i really didn't want to knowSleepycutie: but now you asked to meet i guess i can't hide it any longer What the fuck. He was saying the truth. He was actually saying the truth. What the fuck. Urupon: you're freaking me out dudeUrupon: what the fuck is this about Damn it all. The fun lasted way too little. That was kind of weird. What the fuck. Sleepycutie: does slowgamey ring any bells Yeah. Kouyou's favorite game store company in the city, he'd go visit at least once a week. Something about that place was comforting and he'd find himself being dragged to it even on days when he didn't want to see anyone. Not even Akira, his best friend. Kouyou just liked it there. No one knew him and everyone was the same as in they all simply wanted to fill the gaming voids in their heart. It was nice and pleasant in a sort of boring way, which was the best. It was perfect. Urupon: yeah... go on?Sleepycutie: (deep breath)Sleepycutie: well i work there. sighSleepycutie: remember when you made the premium pass a while ago?Sleepycutie: you had to give out some info and some stuff and i was in charge that daySleepycutie: and your email is literally just urupon and then i remembered my gaming bestie goes by urupon and i connected the dots...Sleepycutie: sorry i was gonna tell you but it really was just such a coincidence, didn't want to find out Kouyou was staring at the screen in disbelief. His mind processing a thousand of thoughts in a minute. After a pause he was laughing because of the absurdity of the situation.The world was just really, really small after all. Wasn't it? Urupon: you work there?Sleepycutie: yeah... boo! this is no fun anymore now you know who i amSleepycutie: sigh that's such a bummerUrupon: i literally don't, not yetUrupon: i need to remember who works thereUrupon: and shut the fuck up. you knew who i was all along Kouyou started mentally viewing his favorite and super boring game store, trying to picture its employees and attach faces to those figures.They had like four people. Or five. He was thinking deeply. Of course he remembered them because of him being a frequent customer but he never really focused on them too much. They were doing their work and he was there to make himself happy. A tiny part of his earnings had to go to his gaming passion, that was just natural.Kouyou remembered clearly three of them.There was a girl, kind of way too pretty for such a place. She could have been a model or something like that. Honestly Kouyou didn't really have any right to ponder on her big girl decisions, that was none of his business and he didn't care. As if playing a little game he tried to match her face to everything he virtually knew of Sleepycutie and it didn't go well. Nah it wasn't her. He trusted his intuition and it wasn't her.Next one was a man, probably one he could call a dilf and he was kind of hot. Maybe more than Kouyou allowed himself to recognize, but he had a ring on his finger and that meant he had to be taken and Kouyou had to stop himself from thinking. His life was way too boring for that. Maybe in another life he'd have liked being a homewrecker, but he was sure it wasn't this one. He loved his silly and boring life way too much.It definitely wasn't him. Just no. No way.Third was a young man. Probably around his age and he had to be kind of new.
It had to be like a month since he started working there, if not a bit more and Kouyou remembered it had to be a month since he made the premium pass, too.Wait.The young man had black hair, straight black hair. A fringe covering half of his face, making him look a little emo. It suited him well enough. He had a lip piercing and it looked kind of neat and on some days, when Kouyou was lucky enough to look at his face more properly. It made him look kind of hot and cute at the same time.
He was slightly shorter than Kouyou and he wasn't exceptionally good at his job because he seemed a bit clumsy. Kouyou literally witnessed an unfortunate moment at the store where their manager scolded him in front of a huge queue of customers because apparently, the emo guy did something wrong. He looked so small and mortified and on the verge of tears and it made Kouyou want to punch that stupid manager in the face.Come fucking on. He's sorry, he's so sorry. He didn't do it on purpose. Leave him alone. Kouyou thought.Seeing that made him feel a bit awful. It must have been humiliating and that guy must have had a fucking horrifying day, but it really wasn't his business after all.
Kouyou was just a part of that queue because he had to get his stupid game and make his stupid and boring life a little bit more exciting. His turn came at last and the black-haired guy smiled at him brightly despite it all and he said hi and he sounded nice. Really nice.And then Kouyou remembered.It was there in front of his face, written on the name tag. Y. Shiroyama.Maybe his face suited what Kouyou knew of Sleepycutie a little too much.And that made Kouyou smile and he didn't even realize he was smiling but Shiroyama being Sleepycutie was appealing.He didn't know why because that required thinking but it was appealing. Urupon: oh shit?Urupon: shiroyama?Sleepycutie: hehhh... sorry to disappoint!Sleepycutie: yeah (╥﹏╥) Kouyou's face broke into a smile. Bingo.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Kouyou was waiting for some coherent thought to form in his head now that a new and intoxicatingly interesting piece of information had just invaded his mind.For some stupid reason, it was suddenly all he cared about. He was feeling a little bit too excited. Kouyou was chatting with his gaming bestie and it was never gonna be as it was before. He knew his name. His actual name, Shiroyama Y-something.Yukito? Yuuichi? Yuusei? Yuuji? Yuu?He knew his face, and it wasn't a bad face. Quite the contrary, it was a nice face. A very nice face and Kouyou wanted to see it again and he didn't care to wait any longer, he wanted to see it again, right then and there. Urupon: turn on your cameraUrupon: right nowSleepycutie: huh?Urupon: you can read and i won't repeat myselfUrupon: i'll do it first. you do it after me, ok? Perhaps that sounded kind of demanding and it was too sudden, and he was sure Shiroyamacutie had to be kind of freaking out a little in that moment, but that was exciting. Seeing it with his own eyes would have made it even more exciting. Perhaps making his so-dearly-beloved boring life a little bit less boring wasn't that bad after all.Kouyou turned on his computer's camera without even giving himself any adjustment. His hair was dishevelled and he had dark rings under his eyes, and he was shirtless but there really wasn't much to see. Just his neck, shoulders and collarbones. Perhaps one third of his chest. But it was 2 am on a Friday, and Shiroyama apparently had seen him already and that went on for an entire month, which meant Kouyou already wasted his chances on making a good first impression on the sleepy boy, and at that point Kouyou didn't give a fuck anymore.It shouldn't have been a big deal. It was way too hot anyways and honestly nothing would have got him up from his gaming chair in that moment, as invested as he was in whatever was going on with his clumsy gaming partner. Urupon: well here i am Kouyou was resting his chin on the palm of his hand. He didn't move, he couldn't take the eyes off his screen and his room suddenly got too quiet. He was counting seconds in his head and once he got at fifteen he found himself clicking his own tongue, and he realized Shiroyama still knew nothing of Kouyou's growing impatience. Urupon: c'mon, show me your faceSleepycutie: i look kinda shitty right now though :( Huh. Why did he care to look good? If he was the Shiroyama he was saying he was, there was literally no need trying to look good when he already was unnervingly beautiful. Urupon: i bet you're fineUrupon: my camera is on and yours isn't. that's unfair, isn't itUrupon: you're usually such a good boy for meUrupon: i mean when you don't ditch me lolUrupon: you know you owe me so now be a good boy and turn it on, ok? Well shit. He already typed it out and sent it. He re-read that again and sighed. Kouyou was praying the Gods he didn't believe in that whatever he was trying to say in that third and fifth message didn't sound too flirty. He wasn't flirting with him. Hell no, he wasn't. He was just referring to Sleepycutie diligently following his every instruction whenever Kouyou presented to him his plan of action as their next strategy for their virtual battles. Rapidly descending blocks, near-impossible leaps, nuclear bloody bombs, lava pits, laser-toting aliens, crumbling walkways, groaning zombies... There was just so much shit being thrown in their paths, with the purpose of making them lose, and no one liked losing. Sleepycutie trusted Urupon's plans and as a good boy, he always did as instructed in a more than flawless way. That simply made him a very good boy because that lead them to victory. Victory was delicious and primarily the reason why Kouyou played.Kouyou wasn't flirting with him or anything. Shiroyama knew how to be a good boy when he wanted to and that was a matter of fact. Kouyou did nothing but just state it.Hell okay, he never called him a good boy before but that was because he didn't picture anything and anyone behind that Cinnamoroll profile picture.He didn't know there was an actual boy on the other side of the screen. It could have been anyone and anything and as Kouyou kept reminding himself, at the end of the day Sleepycutie was nothing more than just his gaming bestie and nothing about him mattered in that sense, as long as there was harmony in their online hangouts, making the experience enjoyable for both.But then again, that phrase really did seem kind of flirty, and Shiroyama read that while having a half-naked Kouyou in front of his eyes. That might have made him feel things, Kouyou liked to hope that it did. The reason he gave himself for that was just because it was fun.Messing with Sleepycutie had always been fun, and Kouyou didn't even want to do it on purpose but the sleepy boy brought it on himself by ditching him for God knows what fucking reason, and that always happened when the best part was about to come.Frustration and a healthy amount of anger were Kouyou's instant reactions and he'd throw some mean word at him on their chat with no worry for any argument ever happening afterwards. Sleepycutie would just come back and apologize. Sometimes a single 'sorry' was enough but Kouyou had fun messing with him, acting like he was still mad, making Shiroyama reiterate his apology till he picked it up and understood he was being teased. Sleepycutie would pretend to be a bit offended at that. It was kind of stupidly adorable. Kouyou knew he shouldn't allow himself to feel so amused by something that seemed so abstract and unreal, but now he knew Sleepycutie was very much real. He happened to be Shiroyama who Kouyou had seen in person several of times before and messing with his gaming bestie now seemed more than okay. Because it was Shiroyama and Shiroyama was cute as fuck, and that made everything a whole lot of fun.Kouyou sighed and rolled his eyes. Half amused half annoyed. Yeah maybe it did come off a bit flirty, so what. He didn't need to care. Whatever Shiroyama felt with that, it didn't concern Kouyou because he wasn't allowed in that space. He wasn't allowed in Shioyama's heart, knowing what he felt and thank Goodness he wasn't; he never cared to be allowed in anyone's. Kouyou was a player, he wanted to have fun and there was nothing more to it.As Kouyou awkwardly scratched the back of his neck, throwing away all the unnecessarily stupid worries regarding someone else's feelings, Sleepycutie's camera finally turned on and Kouyou's eyes fixated on the little square occupying his screen, with the beautiful black-haired boy inside of it. Kouyou was looking at it like he was in a fucking staring contest.The light on the background wasn't the best as it was slightly dim, and Sleepycutie must have had some fairy lights somewhere in his room because Kouyou could see tiny glints of yellow lighting up and darkening out; the cycle repeating itself in a cozy sort of way. It made it look like Shiroyama had tiny stars appearing on his cheeks every now and then, and it looked stupidly cute. The sleepy boy was in fact wearing a star shaped hairclip to move his fringe away and make his face more recognizable, but he didn't seem to have adjusted it properly because there were still locks of hair rebelliously escaping the hairclip's hold. Kouyou cursed under his breath seeing that because it made him look so fucking cute. He looked even cuter than the Slowgamey employee that Kouyou had in his memories and he felt taken away in some sort of fantasy at that thought. Shiroyama's eyes were a bit puffy, like he'd slept not too long ago and his lips were plump and somewhat shiny, almost as if there was drool on them a few moments before. Kouyou wasn't able to see much but apparently Shiroyama was wearing some oversized light blue colored tshirt, leaving his right shoulder uncovered and it looked really pretty, so bare and creamy and rosey. Kouyou smirked at the sight. His collarbone was on full display and a tiny dot was shining once exposed at the yellowish lights and clavicle piercing popped up in Kouyou's mind without thinking twice; that looked hot. He wondered how many piercings did he have.The cuteness-hotness combo in Shiroyama was deadly absurd with how strong it was. Sleepycutie: can you see me? (¬`‸´¬)
Shiroyama waved at Kouyou a timid hi with his hand and a soft smile appeared on his face. He looked like he was slightly giggling and it was cuter than it was supposed to be.
Urupon: yeah i can see you
Urupon: it really is you, shiroyama
Kouyou's staring contest wouldn't stop. He was so focused and it was like he wanted to savour every bit of the sleepy boy's reactions at everything he was going to say to him, which was quite the big list now since once tasted, twice as hard to resist, and there was so much Kouyou wanted to say but he had to be somewhat normal and not freak him out.Holy fuck. Summing up Kouyou's gaming bestie in a simple sentence one could have said it's the clumsy black-haired boy working at Slowgamey and the look on his eyes is adorable and he seems like the type of person who's easy to scam and that makes him cute and he is cute and he sounds nice and his smile is so pretty and he is cute and what else. Did he mention that he was cute?And for fuck's sake, Kouyou's fucking mind really shouldn't be navigating in that sort of direction, but Kouyou blamed it on the fact that he hadn't got laid since him and his fuckass cinephile narcissistic ex boyfriend broke up and he really didn't have those kind of dirty thoughts in quite some time. Kouyou was flawed and horribly human too, and now there he was, looking at Shiroyama, imagining how easy it must be to just turn him around, press his body against literally anything and **** *** *** **** *** —Huh. What the fuck.Kouyou remembered that one time when he felt sex starved and it was honestly embarrassing but it had to happen to anyone at some point. He didn't care about anything in that moment because what's-fucking-new. Sleepycutie was ghosting him again, and Kouyou just said fuck it all. He started chatting up some dudes on a stupid dating app. He stumbled into one way too eager going all “Hi I'm a bottom I suck and swallow and more” and that made Kouyou laugh because holy fuck, that seemed so easy. Uncomplicated and no-feelings sex was so easy, and maybe he was just bored and he wasn't exactly starved for sex, he was starved of someone who Kouyou seemed he couldn't get enough of.Kouyou stopped thinking.He didn't even know Shiroyama's name yet, what the fuck was he even thinking about. Yeah, they've been playing and chatting for around ten months. Sleepycutie hadn't really been much but just someone inside of Kouyou's computer and he was just always there— and never demanding anything. Never asking for anything, and never expecting anything. He always seemed genuinely happy to be playing with Kouyou and that made him feel weird. Sleepycutie was supposed to be nothing more than just his gaming bestie. And yet, the guy seemed to genuinely enjoy his presence as Kouyou randomly remembered Shiroyama slipped an innocent “i missed you so much” in their chat once Kouyou came back online after a few days of absence due to his family pissing him off for being too indoorsy, forcing him go on a trip with them. It hadn't been that bad, but Kouyou had a need to be talking again to a certain someone and that could have not been anyone else but his gaming bestie. It just felt somewhat wrong to break something that integrated so strongly on Kouyou's routine. Shiroyama happened to be way too excited for Kouyou's return and he slipped that cute “i missed you so much”, apologizing right after, like he'd done something he wasn't supposed to do. And that meant something to Kouyou and it wasn't supposed to mean anything, but it did. If he wanted to be fully honest with himself, Kouyou had missed him too.
Sleepycutie: duh yeah sorry i look so stupid right now but you gave me no time to make myself look more proper
Urupon: i'm literally shirtless and i have scary dark rings under my eyesSleepycutie: yeah i saw you weren't wearing much (,,>﹏<,,)Urupon: is it offending your eyes?Sleepycutie: no of course not! why would it offend my eyesSleepycutie: you look good— you never look bad Shiroyama's hands were fidgeting and his eyes seemed to be focusing on a spot on his bedroom floor and he was just so nice to look at. Kouyou was flawed and his mind was dangerously going in that damned direction again and it wasn't fair. It made him think of himself as a freak and he had to fucking stop it.Maybe his almost-a-command-request had been too rushed and he had to quit his habit of being so bossy but it's not like Sleepycutie had to comply. Kouyou was just saying shit sometimes and there was no reason to take him too seriously but misunderstandings were easy to happen behind a screen and Shiroyama complied.
He was a good boy and he seemed to like being Kouyou's good boy, and these kind of thoughts were so stupid. Absolutely deprived of any kind of logical reasoning, it made Kouyou's head spin and it was fucking 2 am; rationalizing things at that hour was nearly impossible.Maybe Kouyou should have in fact given more time to Shiroyama. Time to make himself look less appetizing, more proper as he said.Because right now, he looked so messy and it made Kouyou want to mess with him in a way that wasn't proper at all. His logical mind was battling whatever he initiated and it was hard to stop it, with the tension creeping up under Kouyou's skin, yet something was slightly odd. Of course Kouyou's gamer mind pulling up all nighters to reason out strategies would notice it.Shiroyama ditched him and it had been like an hour since that. Kouyou had no fucking idea what happened because he never knew; he never demanded to know either but aside of looking way too dangerously tempting, the sleepy boy looked indeed— very sleepy.Things didn't quite add up. His gaming partner had been basically active a couple of minutes prior his turn; reason why his disappearances were so fucking strange and got on Kouyou's last nerve. Everything seemed to be going smoothly to the point Kouyou would cease worrying, because no fucking way anything could have happened at that point but with Shiroyama, even a time of sixty seconds was enough for him to disappear in thin air. It was strange, Kouyou racked his brain for answers and the only explanation he was capable of giving was that Shiroyama probably fell asleep in the time of a minute or two; that was just too weird to be the case.Kouyou knew that he could have just asked to get what he wanted because Shiroyama always seemed so sincere, like he didn't know how to lie. All he knew was hide things but if directly confronted about it, he didn't seem to have enough of a cold blood to lie. He'd trip on his words and get all awkward. Kouyou decided it wasn't the time to put him through that. He planned on bringing it up once they got to hang out in person, which had to happen at that point.As he was busy dwelling on that matter, Kouyou realized a few minutes had passed already since Shiroyama sent his last message and he was just innocently complimenting Kouyou's looks in it and the sleepy boy had started looking visibly tired by then. For some reason, he was just keeping it quiet, waiting for Kouyou to say something.
For some seconds, they looked at each other and nothing happened. They said nothing but Kouyou caught Shiroyama's glance and there was a pause of sustained eye contact.It was longer than it was supposed to be and then Shiroyama looked away. Sleepycutie: huh... you're staringSleepycutie: did i say something bad? No. You didn't. Sorry. I was too busy dealing with whatever happens when I go too long without getting laid and there's a pretty boy like yourself looking at me with those innocent eyes of yours and it kind of awakens something in me.
Kouyou locked that thought of his in a box and placed it in a specific angle of his brain and threw away the keys. He was done being a freak now. Urupon: no you didn't don't worry
Urupon: thanks for thinking that i never look bad i guessUrupon: so... what's your name?Sleepycutie: it's yuu Yuu. Cute. Damn it all. Kouyou had to start calling him Yuu now because things were going to be different and he wished they'd get different in a way that they stayed the same. Although he knew the shift in the air happened already; it was clear to perhaps both of them and Kouyou felt the desperate urge to know what prompted Yuu's rule and why revealing his identity was such a big deal for him when there seemed to be nothing wrong with him, aside of him being weird in the way Kouyou liked, but at the end of the day, Yuu was just a boy in his twenties who liked gaming and nothing about that was weird. Urupon: alright yuu
Urupon: what was this big deal with anonymity
Urupon: why was it so important for you to keep it?
A few seconds later Kouyou saw Yuu scratching the back of his head, looking down. He seemed to be hesitating and Kouyou questioned himself if the approach he had towards Yuu was too aggressive after all, because Yuu might have had a hard time dealing with people like Kouyou but truth be told, that was how things have always been between them. As gaming companions, Yuu had never showed signs of discomfort. Kouyou was harsh with his words every now and then, but Yuu was peculiar enough to know how to soften him up. They'd both end up having fun and enjoying their virtual time together. Sleepycutie: if you don't mind, i'd rather talk about this with you in person because i consider it something important but i just. i feel like this is going to change things now and i didn't want them to change Well fair enough. Things were going to change but imagining they'd have stayed stagnant forever was quite naive wasn't it? Urupon: what is going to change?
Sleepycutie: well now you know who i am and you've seen how i work and that's embarrassing because here i could be just someone who plays with you and now you know a side of me that's pretty lame and it might influence the way you think of me here and. huh... Kouyou saw Yuu freeing his side fringe from his hairclip and he was now adorably playing with his hair and fidgeting slightly. His right hand was resting on his face with the intent of covering his own eyes and it looked a bit heartbreaking, because it looked like Yuu was ready to cry. Urupon: hey what's wrong?
Urupon: what were you going to say?
Sleepycutie: i don't want us to splitSleepycutie: i want to play with you more and moreSleepycutie: i'm sorry i ruined the work of 10 whole months but there's a reason for it and it wasn't on purposeSleepycutie: and now you want us to meet and i might just tell you when we meet because what's the point of hiding it now you know who i am and everything is going to change and that's scary. i really don't want you to split with me
Sleepycutie: i wish we could continue playing as if nothing happened but a whole lot of things happened and it'd be stupid to pretend they didn't Oh my god. Well fuck. Yuu was quite the fragile thing, wasn't he?Kouyou was a player and he didn't really know how to handle the situation without having fun with it and if the fun involved hurting Yuu's feelings in some way, Kouyou felt a tiny bit uncomfortable at that thought; he truly didn't want that, but how could he handle a fragile thing without breaking it? Kouyou felt a thread of guilt in his mind. Urupon: we're not going to split The way they were talking about it was almost like they just had some romantic relationship crisis and were genuinely considering breaking up, and Yuu was begging him not to. Kouyou had in fact no intention of doing it because there was still so much more that he wanted from Yuu and as the skilled player that he was, Kouyou was determined to get it all. Oh yeah, he was a bit of a freak after all. Whatever. Urupon: i'll keep it short because i respect you wanting to talk about this irlUrupon: but hey relax
Urupon: i want to continue playing with you as much as you do and knowing what you look like doesn't make this any less fun or interesting, it's quite the contrary and you need to stop putting yourself downUrupon: and quite frankly no one online plays as good as you do and if we ever split you can stay assured i'm not asking anyone else to join meUrupon: it's either with you or alone Yeah, okay whatever. It really looked like he was reassuring his lover on how he was so special and the most unique individual in the universe and irreplaceable or something like that, but Kouyou needed to be clear and Yuu had a stunning smile on his face now. It was so precious and soft. Kouyou smiled back at him because not reciprocating that smile was probably harder than dealing with evil creatures in hell. Sleepycutie: (˶╥︿╥) ah you're so nice uruppi thank you so much for this it was so needed
Sleepycutie: i work tomorrow too but if you want we can meet after my shift before i go take the train to go home Kouyou wondered if Yuu had ever met actually nice people to call him nice but maybe he was indeed super nice to him, nicer than he usually was to everyone else and he didn't even realize it. Urupon: yeah let's do it asap
Urupon: i'll wait for you outside the storeSleepycutie: ok!! it's settled then
Sleepycutie: uh i'm gonna, turn this off rn and go sleep
Sleepycutie: sorry again for earlier and sorry that i looked so messy The king of the sorrys was back at it. Yuu had to quit being so adorable before Kouyou would find again the keys he used to lock that devious box in that forgotten angle of his brain, for his own sanity. Urupon: stop saying sorry you looked good enoughUrupon: i think you looked good enough to stimulate a certain type of thoughtsSleepycutie: … let's go to sleep uruppi Yuu was giggling and because of the fucking screen Kouyou couldn't see properly if there was any tint of pink on his face, but there probably was and that made Kouyou think that the clumsy boy picked up on his super faint attempt at being flirtatious and he didn't hate it; it made him giggle instead. Whatever that meant. It was nice.Kouyou's so-boring life was taking a turn for the not-so-boring anymore path and it was dangerously exciting enough to make him an eager participant.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Kouyou woke up in some sort of puzzled excitement.He didn't dream any of the things that happened the night before.An intoxicating haze invaded his mind realizing that the conversation he had with his online partner was real and the sleepy boy wasn't just an entity existing on the wired— he was very much real. Kouyou was so ready not just to savor, but to completely devour the new maddeningly sweet flavour that Yuu introduced now to his so comfortably-boring life.Kouyou was excited. He was so excited and for the first time in ages he had something to look forward to that wasn't just the release of a new game or the scheduled hour for his online hangouts.Kouyou loved his monotonous and boring life.It was uncomplicated, it was simple, it was safe. To put it simply, it was the perfect playground to swirl on in order for him to do whatever he wanted to do and make it interesting in the stimulating way that he liked.Kouyou was fully convinced his own freedom was the thing that mattered the most and he put it above anything and anyone. He knew that at the end of the day, he was only gonna live once and he didn't owe anyone anything anyway, because he was the owner of his own life, and every decision he took was to grant himself a pleasurable experience in the brief existence that he was gonna have.Kouyou was aware that he didn't have control on anything and anyone but himself.Making decisions for his own benefit was his top priority and in all honesty, the way he chose to live his life was no one's business. He had enough sense to recognize whenever his actions could have had the power to possibly bring harm on others, and he handled it by either removing himself completely from those instances or just facing them head on, sticking to his beliefs and values.There was now a new plaything in Kouyou's playground. Calling it a plaything might have seemed a bit mean and cruel but it was actually nothing like that. Anything that Kouyou could use to play and entertain himself with had some sort of a special significance to him, and Yuu sort of had the potential of becoming Kouyou's favorite plaything. Kouyou had the intention of treating it as his most treasured possession.Kouyou's mind was pried open, ready to allow whatever came his way, if the flow seemed naturally normal enough. Things in life come and go all the time, he knew for certain that he was not gonna let Yuu go now that Kouyou had barely started playing.It was a Saturday, which saved him from his tedious coding job and Kouyou decided that it was perhaps time to take care of the dishes. He was absolutely awful at taking care of the dishes, but there was a kind of mountain in the sink and he was kind of sick of ignoring the decaying state of the kitchen by pretending it didn't exist. It was so easy to forget that it was the place best suited to prepare his meals because he'd just have instant noodles in his room but his stomach was starting to get a bit upset with that.Concluded that task, Kouyou ended up having a doing-all-the-chores type of Saturday. Normally, he never had energy for that shit, but his apartment had truly grown kind of filthy and Kouyou was sick tired of hearing his friends Akira and Takanori complain about it each time they'd come visit uninvited, using their sorry dude we were just checking if you're still alive kind of excuse. Maybe it wasn't an excuse, maybe it was actual concern because Kouyou had this habit of not giving any updates on how his life had been playing out, but he took it for granted that it was known nothing too exciting had happened for him to even having to give any updates. Whatever. His place looked decent enough after that deadly dull cleaning session and he knew that he was not gonna touch that ridiculously heavy vacuum for a good while now. Kouyou was already tired by six pm but it was what he needed to make it to the most awaited hour of the day as he knew Yuu was gonna get off work in thirty minutes.Kouyou took a quick shower and since at that hour there wasn't much heat anymore and it was kind of chilly in a very pleasant way, he decided to wear a white button up open shirt with a black top under it, his favorite low rise loose ripped jeans which put on display a good amount of his thighs' skin and all in all, the fit was very much Kouyou and it made him look hot and attractive. He left his place slamming the door shut behind him, his whole aura overflowing with confidence.Kouyou was okay waiting outside because he didn't really want to make things awkward for Yuu and he knew that his piercing gaze would have been relentless if entered the store, as curious as Kouyou was to study his mannerisms, seeing how hard he tried to do a good job in that clumsy way of his.The nervous look in his eyes whenever he got asked by a customer about some game's technicality and Yuu had actually absolutely nothing to worry about. He seemed to be more of a nerd than he was aware of because once he overcame that second of surprise caused by the sudden question, he would start rambling and give out even more information than necessary, slightly straying away from the main topic. He always looked genuinely excited and the customers at that point were not sure what they even asked anymore; they'd just nod, smile and then leave Yuu alone. It was fun.It all suited what Kouyou had experienced of Sleepycutie in all of those months.Yuu's online persona seemed to not be the one of a gamer, at least it was simply not what most people pictured in their heads when they were dealing with a gamer— the foul-mouthed, rude, impatient, short-tempered and impulsive type.Yuu was nothing like that and it made Kouyou curious because why in the world did he need to be so peculiar but then again, maybe being different like that was totally normal and, very hard to believe, there were a whole lot more people just like Yuu and Kouyou's interest towards him was caused by things he was not yet allowed to acknowledge.Kouyou sort of wanted to get into the store and interact with Yuu in a way that his colleagues, if nosy enough, would have assumed there was something going on between the two of them and they'd have looked at Yuu with questioning eyes. That alone might have sufficed to get Yuu all fidgety, and Kouyou knew that it'd have been a delicious sight for his eyes but he truly had to learn practicing patience goddamn more and waiting for him outside was a good start.Kouyou waited for a few moments, subtly eyeing every now and then the store's entrance. He was peeking at his phone to check the hour and smoking a cigarette, there were so many people around due to the day being a Saturday and as he was there standing— looking all unbothered, lost in thought, it was easy to think he was on a date waiting for his significant other to show up, which might have made some people passing by a little envious, because it wouldn't have been an exaggeration to say that Kouyou's beauty was sort of intimidating. He looked hot and unattainable, whoever got a chance to make themselves liked by him had to be considered more than lucky.Once his brief waiting finally reached its end, Kouyou heard a not-so-familiar but still recognizable voice calling his name and he knew by the slight mistake who the voice belonged to. Kouyou turned around and Yuu was standing right in front of him.“Uru—” Yuu paused, correcting himself immediately. “I mean. Kouyou.”He slightly scratched the back of his head awkwardly and then his face broke into a smile. His voice was sort of breathy and his cheeks had the faintest tint of pink on them, like he had been rushing walking towards Kouyou.“Hi, Kouyou.”Repeating Kouyou's name twice in his greeting because that was the very first time Yuu got to address him by his actual name and now he had to process the new reality unfolded in front of his eyes. Yuu must have had a thousand of thoughts clashing with one another in that brief instant of eye-contact, because he genuinely looked so overwhelmed and surely excited by the smile on his face being so bright but still— overwhelmed, he paused and his eyes looked down. He inhaled and exhaled.Kouyou couldn't blame him at all because he was going through something as intense.“Hey Yuu, it's nice to see you.” Kouyou smirked, put the cigarette out and threw it away where it was supposed to go and then he leaned in, his body close enough to Yuu's so he could whisper into his ear.“Can I hug you?” Kouyou's tone sounded hoarse, like he was asking for something so intimate and truth is, he was still in a state of disbelief. He had to feel that the boy in front of him was very much real and it'd have been very, very and very stupid of him to hold back and deny himself that request. Kouyou knew how to get what he wanted, and in that moment, there was nothing he wanted more than prove to himself his gaming bestie's existence by touch.Yuu just hummed in agreement, a soft smile on his face as he gently let the work bag he was carrying lay on the ground, and it seemed like a signal for Kouyou to hold him already. He wasted no time in gently capturing Yuu in an embrace.It was nice. It was sweet. Yuu's smelled sweet and his body felt warm against Kouyou's. His height made it perfect for the taller to tighten his hold; it felt so right to hold him like that.“Never in a million years I'd have imagined to meet my faithful gaming companion in such a way,” Kouyou said, it sounded romantic. A bit too romantic. Whatever.Kouyou realized it had been so long since he actually hugged someone— since he willingly wanted to hug someone and it wasn't just the obligatory hug devoid of any reciprocated interest accompanied by the hi he said to his relatives at the deadly boring family reunions.“I spent the day thinking of meeting you and I spaced out at work more than usual— I was more distracted than I usually am,” Yuu said, giggling in the cute way that was so typical of him and Kouyou's hold was kind of getting way too strong for no reason, but Yuu seemed to be reciprocating it in the best way he could. Kouyou realized he had to pull away before he gave himself the chance to ponder on why the hell he was already starving for so much touch with Yuu when it had been merely just a few seconds since he met him.“U-Uruppi—“ Yuu was probably going to ask for Kouyou to soften up his hold but he anticipated him and just pulled away, smiling at him.“Are you feeling okay?” Kouyou“Yeah, I'm super fine,” Yuu trailed off as quickly as possible, eager to continue what he was going to say next. “We can hug for longer if you want, just... Maybe— softer?”Yuu suggested, a timid smile on his face while collecting his work bag from the ground.There was so much Kouyou wanted to say, he didn't even know where to begin but then he remembered Yuu was supposed to be getting ready, waiting for the train that brought him back home and they didn't have much time.Kouyou would usually just plan everything out because there was nothing more annoying than waste time. He couldn't allow himself to waste time.Finding himself in a situation and not knowing what to do was not like him. In all honesty, he'd have gotten incredibly upset at himself if he ever had to be put in such a situation but in that instance, planning didn't work. Kouyou was not going to follow any type of mental to-do list. Going with the flow was the best thing in that moment; his plaything had just appeared in his playground and Kouyou couldn't wait to play with it.“Are you really okay?” Kouyou insisted, after having mentally noted that Yuu was okay with hugs and he wouldn't have had any restraints in giving them to him at any time in the future now. Perhaps catching Yuu off guard too, which was the best because Yuu looked so cute with that puzzled look in his eyes. Kouyou was curious to find out if Yuu would pull away if the innocent touches involving the hug turned into not-so-innocent anymore, with Kouyou eventually getting more daring, which he knew himself was likely to happen.Kouyou's devious mind had a life on its own and he was cursing himself under his breath for letting it live so freely, but the way it activated already by just seeing Yuu on camera was hinting it was only going to get worse from there— quality time with Yuu in person was going to unleash something in him. What a freak.“You know, this is exactly what you were so much against. Your whole rule and everything, remember?” Kouyou's sarcasm was obvious, he was having so much fun already.“I remember, of course— but this is how I can make it up to you. You're not mad anymore now, are you?” Yuu said and Kouyou thought tha talking to him in person was even better.“Do you think I'd have hugged you the first second I saw you if I was still mad?” Kouyou said and from the look on Yuu's face it seemed like he wasn't expecting that at all.“I was surprised," Yuu admitted, looking down and he adjusted his fringe in that cute star shaped hair clip that he was wearing on camera the night before.“I was surprised that you hugged me. I honestly thought that you were gonna be colder. From what I saw at the store, you don't really smile much. You don't do any small talk ever, I never saw you asking for info on anything, and you just seem very...” Yuu paused. That single moment of hesitation was enough to let Kouyou conclude the sentence himself.“Avoidant?” Kouyou said. It was all true, the sleepy boy confirmed he had great intuition indeed, as expected from a gamer.“Yeah— Sorry for assuming,” Of course Yuu was going to apologize for that. Of fucking course. The person Kouyou had played and chatted with for ten whole months couldn't have been anyone else. Every word he said and the way in which he chose to say those words, it was so fitting. It all made so much sense.“Don't say sorry, you're right. I'm like that. I'm either like that or I just get super heated online when we lose,” “But you already know that.” Kouyou added, smirking a little at the end.“Still— thanks for the hug. It was nice. I don't hug someone since I visited my mom in Mie but that was,” Yuu paused as if trying hard to retrieve an important piece of information from his head.“Last winter? I think?”Oh god. Well, Kouyou had no problems becoming Yuu's hugging bestie too, only thing making that difficult was that he knew he'd have ended up wanting more than just an hug. What a freak.“Well, if you want me to I can function as a substitute to your mom's hugs till you can see her again but shouldn't we be heading to the train station now or something?”As Kouyou said that, Yuu's eyes widened like the most important thing of the day, which was going home, completely slipped from his mind.“Oh my god, oh my god you're right. My train will be here soon! Thank God the station is just around the corner. Let's go together.” Yuu fiddled with his hands, looking at Kouyou as if to apologize for being so clumsy.The walk towards the station was quiet. There was a sort of unspoken agreement between Kouyou and Yuu. The important topics they intended to talk about were better bringing up in a quieter place and they both knew it. As they walked, Kouyou's eyes were glancing every now and then towards Yuu.His hair was longer than Kouyou remembered and he had his usual wolf cut which Kouyou liked so much and was familiar with. He was currently keeping the longer part of it tied up. He was wearing a black lace choker, a red plaid shirt and a pair of black jeans.As Kouyou noticed when they hugged, Yuu managed to still smell very nice despite having spent the entire day at work. He had black nails and his visible piercings, the one on his lip and the ones on his collarbones, looked so beautiful and hot and shiny. All of those little details added together were making Kouyou wanting to practice some sort of cute aggression on Yuu and perhaps, also whatever he sealed away in that forgotten part of his brain.Yuu was just— very, very, very cute and hot but cute too. The excitement in Kouyou couldn't do anything but increase.Once arrived at the station, they sat somewhere close enough for Yuu to catch his train on time and their closeness was such to allow the both of them an ease perfect to speak comfortably and avoid constant eye-contact.Yuu was fiddling with his hands again. He kept running his fingers over the knuckles, missing a digit every now and again. He seemed unable to stay still. Kouyou assumed he must have been quite nervous and he decided it was time to break the silence.“So... Yuu, may I know why you ditch me, every so often?” Kouyou sounded gentle, very kind and like there was no wrong answer to that. It was all planned.Kouyou's main concern in that moment was making Yuu feel as comfortable as possible, as he mentally registered the word fragile next to him.“You may know— you will know but first,” Yuu said and he looked at him, tilting his head, the expression on his face like the one of a little curious kitty.“Can I keep calling you Urupon, or,” Yuu paused. “Uruppi?”The way he asked that, with that adorable glint in his eyes, like there was no way they could continue the conversation unless Yuu was 100% sure he was allowed to call Kouyou as he'd been used to for months now was just. So cute. So fucking cute. It was so hard to deny Kouyou didn't feel anything with just that. Great. Just fucking great.“Yeah, sure. I don't mind how you call me. Whatever you like is fine,” Kouyou assured.“Okay then.” Yuu took a deep breath and adjusted his fringe, apparently it was an habit of his, like something he needed to do in order to gain more courage.“First of all, I apologize for all of those times,”Yuu wouldn't stop fiddling his hands as he spoke.“It was such bad timing, I was so frustrated too, and I felt so genuinely bad—”
Yeah. Go on. What the hell happened?
Kouyou was about to find out and he had no idea what to expect. His heart was beating in his chest at a pace quicker than what he was usually used to.“The truth is that,” Yuu paused again for a few seconds. It seemed like it was truly such a hard thing to say for him, Kouyou's eyes softened and he wondered if touching his fidgety hands would have helped or made everything worse.You don't know unless you try. And he did. Kouyou placed his hands on Yuu's, as if intently looking at his beautiful and black nails, he played with his fingers and Yuu's eyes widened slightly at the sudden touch. He smiled softly right after and thanked Kouyou in the quietest whisper possible. “Thank you, Uruppi.” Yuu sounded so sincere, so pure, so innocent and fragile. “The truth is that I fell asleep.”Shit. No way? Kouyou's reasoning considered that option before but he thought there was just no way. What the hell?“I'm narcoleptic,” Yuu's hands froze all of a sudden, he wasn't moving them any bit and his eyes were fixated on the ground.Hah. It had never been Yuu's fault then. It was a condition. Something he had no control over.“It's not something you can just say through chat, you know...”“And we've always been very clear about our boundaries so it just felt wrong. It felt wrong having to introduce you to something that I deal with everyday. It didn't feel fair on you. I didn't want to lie either so I just... Apologized and didn't say anything else.” Yuu added, he seemed somewhat calmer. He looked up at Kouyou.“Before I go on with this kind of monologue, can you say something? Is this like... Super shocking or is it fine? Or,” Yuu giggled, it was bittersweet. It was cute.It made Kouyou want to protect him.“This is fine, you're fine—“ Kouyou nodded sharply to himself. “I kind of guessed something like that. You know, the other day I was so mad that I kept thinking deeply of what the fuck might have happened. I usually don't think too much of that but... Yeah. I was really curious and I let myself do this sort of mental investigation,” Kouyou said, he continued playing with Yuu's fingers, they were so soft and delicate.“You've always been so sharp, Uruppi, I knew this wasn't something I could keep to myself forever, it's just,” Yuu pouted and continued his sentence.“It doesn't really cause me any physical health problems, except for this continuous feeling of tiredness but it has a significant impact on my daily life and it's difficult to cope with it.” Yuu paused, checking up on Kouyou every now and then to make sure he was listening. Kouyou's eyes were glaring into Yuu's deeply each time the little pauses happened, and that made Yuu blush a little and go back to his rambling.“It's hard to cope with emotionally. It sort of made me emotionally withdrawn and socially isolated. I keep a bunch of alarms on my phone whenever I do things like— going to take the train, I have an alarm that advises me five minutes prior that it's time for me to get in. I fall asleep easily and I can't really describe it to you. It's like sleeping on and off throughout the day. It's like my body stops functioning all of a sudden and I lose consciousness. It's so quick I can't process anything and I can't stop it.”Kouyou reminded himself that he had no reason to feel like a piece of shit because he didn't know. He didn't know and yet, there was a hint of guilt on his face and Yuu noticed right away.“Don't look at me like that, Uruppi. I'm not ill or anything— this isn't all so bad, it's quite manageable— ”“Is it really?” And there was real concern in Kouyou's eyes, his gaze so intense it was hard to deny him the truth.The thread snapped and Kouyou cared and he didn't know why he cared so much but he did.“No, not really. Sorry for lying. It's very hard actually,” Yuu lowered his voice to a purr.“As I said, it's hard emotionally— I cried a few times, whenever I woke up and realized I missed on playing with you. I genuinely wanted to play with you and I was so excited and before I could stop it, I'd lay my head down on my arm for a couple of seconds. It's because I'm a bit tired, I'm pulling up an all-nighter and I get tired, this will fix it for a moment, it's what I told myself and then in a few seconds I was asleep and unconscious.”As Yuu added, Kouyou's phone vibrated, again and again, and again. Shit. Kouyou let out an annoyed sigh. Goddamn.He could have waited, he was in the middle of something he considered even more than important, but Kouyou knew it must have been Akira and if he didn't reply he'd have ended up calling him, which was worse.“Hey, do you mind?” Kouyou took out his phone and gestured to quickly give it a look.“Ah no no, not at all! Go ahead,” Yuu said while nodding repeatedly, he was smiling softly. aki: dude why you're not home?kouyou: are you at my place??aki: yeahkouyou: what the hell are you doing thereaki: well. you spent the last 4 saturdays stuck at home i assumed you were there. it's also almost dinner time and i fear you're going to die if you keep eating instant noodleskouyou: well i'm outaki: huh?kouyou: i'm out with a friendaki: whokouyou: you don't know himaki: i know all of your friends, they're the same in my circleaki: you don't have friends i don't know Kouyou rolled his eyes, amused. Shut up man. He thought. kouyou: well you don't know this oneaki: who is itkouyou: my gaming bestieaki: and who would that bekouyou: oh my god. you're so nosykouyou: i'll send you a picture, ok? Kouyou wrapped an arm around Yuu's waist and hauled his body closer to his.“Can we,” The hesitation of a second making him look a bit shy. Shy Kouyou was quite the rare sight.“Take a selfie? I'll send it to my friend so he shuts up.” Kouyou added.“Ah sure!” Yuu shyly dragged his arm around Kouyou's waist. There was hesitation in his moves but he seemed to enjoy the closeness and he snuggled up against Kouyou adorably.The picture was cute, kind of awkward but cute. There was no distance between them and Yuu was smiling in it, posing with a V sign while Kouyou's face was serious.It wasn't meant to look so serious, but that was his face whenever he didn't bother attempting a smile and it made him look hot and attractive in a haunting sort of way.None of them pulled away and Kouyou replied to Akira typing with just one hand. kouyou: well here it isaki: dude?aki: who the hell is that cutie??kouyou: as i said he's my gaming bestiekouyou: he's gonna leave soon so bye i'm busyaki: damn...? you need to fill me in on this. have fun ;D Kouyou put his phone away and he realized Yuu didn't move one bit and they remained as close as they were.“You're so nice to snuggle, Uruppi.” Yuu's entire face was smiling and his cheeks were rosy. He was probably a bit embarrassed but there was happiness showing on his face, and Kouyou couldn't shake the feeling that so much closeness was bound to cause problems. The problems being his own self control or whatever. What a freak.“I didn't know you were so touchy,” Kouyou said in a teasing tone.“A-ah yeah, I like the comfort. And you look great and your body feels so nice like this.” Yuu blushed and he genuinely looked so shy now, like he recognized how his own honesty made things worse for himself but he couldn't really help it. He was so sincere all the time, and Kouyou couldn't resist the urge to hold him tightly.“And this is fine because you're not a stranger— We've been talking for months and I saw you at the store so many times now. I think I kind of grown comfortable with your presence and this... This is better than what I imagined,” Yuu said, he seemed like he was trying so hard to explain why he enjoyed snuggling up on Kouyou so much, like he absolutely needed a reason to justify it. It was adorable and Kouyou wanted to squeeze him like he was a plush toy.“I'm teasing you. I don't mind it if you're touchy, this is more than fine with me,” As Kouyou said this, he moved his hand to caress Yuu's knee and giving it gentle rubs, looking at him intently as to ask for consent and Yuu reciprocated with a flustered smile. Kouyou had self control and those timid and gentle touches didn't mean anything.They weren't anything; Kouyou wouldn't have succumbed to his own weakness.That's what he kept telling himself.“You're more affectionate than I thought, it makes me so happy. You took this so nicely, I feel so relieved now,” Yuu said. His voice was so soft it made him look so small, it was easy to notice how his initial nervousness was all gone by then.“Why shouldn't I have taken it nicely?” Kouyou asked, genuinely confused at that. He couldn't even imagine how it must have felt. To live everyday and fall victim to an unconscious state that just took over whenever. It must have felt alarming and frustrating. It was honestly so dangerous and his heart felt genuinely heavy for Yuu.“Well, my ex boyfriend broke up with me because of this,”
Huh? What kind of piece of shit would do that?
Kouyou wanted to say, instead he just asked why, trying to sound as soft as possible for Yuu to feel ready to continue.“Why?”“Huh- it's kind of funny to say but since we both lived in different cities, we'd mostly only meet on weekends and I stayed over at his place sometimes and at night he'd get touchy,” At that Yuu snuggled up against Kouyou even more, he seemed like a needy kitten.“Not touchy like this, like we're doing now. I mean a sexual type of touchy, you know?”Yeah, yeah trust me I know. Kouyou thought.“Whenever he initiated something like that, I fell asleep,”“I mean, we couldn't do much because I fell asleep before we got to the, you know, before we got to the. The important part?” Yuu detailed.Kouyou cursed under his breath. Yuu was so cute it was maddening.“Important part? You mean, the sex?” Kouyou said it so casually. He really couldn't picture why that must have been an issue.“Y-yeah.” Yuu blushed a bit.“He knew about your narcolepsy, didn't he?” Kouyou inquired.“Yeah he knew and he really wasn't a bad guy but I guess after trying for many times, he just got tired. I always fell asleep and left him there like that, turned on and all and he got tired. He told me he was not gonna put up with that any longer. He didn't have it in him to deal with that anymore.”Yuu talked about it sounding quite unaffected by it which made Kouyou think it must have been a while since, and that gave him a sort of relief.Still, that made no sense at all to Kouyou. How fucking stupid must that dude have been to drop beautiful, bright, innocent and adorable Yuu, just because of something he had no control over?“I don't mean to be rude but that's a fucking lame reason to break up with someone.” Yeah fuck, whatever. Kouyou couldn't hold back.“What do you mean?” Yuu's eyes were curious, like he couldn't possibly imagine why Kouyou would say that.“I mean that that's not a valid reason, Yuu. You didn't fall asleep on purpose and if you were already in that situation it means you were consenting on having sex with him eventually. That it was fine with you since the very beginning, but because of your narcolepsy, you fell asleep.” Kouyou got so serious like it was such an important matter to explain and there was clear annoyance in his voice.“Breaking up with you because the poor guy can't get laid. And honestly, how stupid of him to think he can't do that just because you were asleep.”Hell yeah, Kouyou was unleashing the freak now. Whatever, he didn't care.Yuu looked genuinely confused.“What do you mean, Uruppi?” Yuu asked and Kouyou wanted to test him somehow, he wanted to have some fun with him and test if he really was as innocent as he seemed to be.“Can't you figure it out by yourself?” Kouyou played around, there was a challenging tension in the air and Yuu blushed, averting his eyes. His mind must have thought of something, but Kouyou was sure he wouldn't have ever said it out loud.“You know, if I was him, you being asleep wouldn't have stopped me.”God. Maybe Kouyou was going too far. What the fuck. And yet he wasn't really doing much. He was used to do that, exposing his logical reasoning and being detailed on why he knew he was right, that was so easy for him to do.“I'd have continued touching you. Feeling you up and kissing you everywhere,” Kouyou paused, leaving the sentence hanged on purpose and then he looked at Yuu. He was blushing, not having the courage to look at him, and Kouyou wondered if he fucked up but then Yuu purred out a quiet request.“H-huh. What else—”At that Kouyou grabbed Yuu's chin and forced him to look up and meet his eyes.“Aren't you greedy?” Kouyou said, adding far more emphasis than necessary on his question. Yeah, he was flirting with him. He was fucking flirting with him and it was so fun, and Kouyou wanted more. He needed more of Yuu's adorable reactions.“I-I'm sorry—” Yuu apologized.“I'd have left love bites all over you, just got you all ready for you to take me like a good boy and at that point you might have woken up already. I guess you can figure out the rest, no?” Kouyou smirked and shot him a wink.Yeah, he might have been a fucking freak after all. He had to sort of compose himself because he was practically saying how he had no problems ravaging Yuu in his sleep and how his narcolepsy wasn't an issue at all for him, which was true but that must have been too much for Yuu.There was a beat of silence after that. Yuu lifted his head up and his eyes were piercingly curious.“So... You're saying how me falling asleep wasn't that big of a problem?”Even with embarrassment still overwhelming him completely, Yuu smiled.“It wasn't a problem. It isn't a problem at all. Trust me, that guy was just deadly boring. Honestly good riddance,” Kouyou replied.“Thank you for saying that. You're so nice. You're always so nice to me for no reason, Uruppi,” Yuu said. The corner of his mouth curved upwards and he attempted to giggle as quiet as possible.How unfair. How fucking unfair. How was it possible for one person to be so lovely?
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Kouyou's eyes fluttered close for a moment.Snuggling with Yuu gave him a feeling like there were flowers blossoming inside of his ribcage and it felt somewhat ticklish. The warmth in his heart was threatening to spill out and manifest itself by holding Yuu against him even tighter.It was so easy to say that whatever was blossoming inside of him was nothing and that it meant nothing. Kouyou knew that allowing himself consciously to admit that it meant anything was dangerous. He had no intentions on dragging pure, sweet and innocent Yuu in any danger; except he actually sort of really wanted that.Kouyou was flawed and perhaps a bit of a sadist; absolutely not the super nice person Yuu thought he was. Part of him wanted to see how his fragile plaything would react being close to break, and while those thoughts were shaping strongly in his head; the other, the sane part of him, would tell himself to go fuck off. He was being an absolute fucking freak. God, he had to get laid and stop thinking. Or not, no one knew. Kouyou's mind was running in circles.“Hey Yuu, you don't need to thank me for being nice,” Kouyou said.“You say thank you as frequently as you say I'm sorry.”He added as if the adjective nice didn't really suit him at all, and he felt a faint thread of guilt in his throat each time Yuu specifically called him like that.“You really don't need to do that.”Kouyou noticed that Yuu had this tendency of showing his gratefulness towards actions that were nothing but just purely basic acts of decency, simply to be expected behaviors.Kouyou had no reasons to not be nice to him. Though, that didn't include whatever devious thoughts he had about himself being a bit of a piece of shit in a teasing and sexual sort of way, because that was hotter than it should have been. After all, he had to admit he was a bit of a sadist and not getting laid for so long really did turn his brain to a stupid mush of desires. Having the pleasure of receiving so much tender and sincere affection from a boy as cute and innocent as Yuu was objectively driving him crazy, but that was currently absolutely irrelevant and Kouyou didn't want to dwell too much on that.The beat of silence was suspiciously dragging on for a bit too long and as Kouyou tried to disentangle himself from Yuu, just enough to see his face and check what was causing the sudden silence, he was met in that exact moment with Yuu unconsciously letting a part his own weight fall gently on Kouyou, his shoulder now working as a cushion for Yuu's head.By instinct, Kouyou hurried to embrace him in order to avoid any possibility of Yuu falling occurring and busy in that act, Kouyou found himself lost in the reverie of watching Yuu's sleep-filled face and if Kouyou didn't know any better, he'd have sworn he was looking at an angel taking a good rest after spending an entire day performing acts of selfless love.Yuu had truly fallen asleep and it happened in the span of a couple of minutes. Kouyou's rational mind was telling him to shake him up, do something, anything, in order to avoid at all costs the outcome of Yuu missing his train. Wake up with a look of shock in his widening eyes and realize he had no other ways to get back home for the day. Kouyou had no absolute idea when his train was supposed to come because he didn't ask and as Yuu said, he had an alarm advising five minutes prior; Kouyou decided it was safe to continue doing nothing but admiring Yuu's angelic and sleepy face.He acknowledged narcoleptic people really did exist after all. He had never doubted that for a minute but it was his first time seeing how easy it actually was for that unconscious state to take over. It reminded Kouyou all over again how dangerous it must have been to live with such a condition and how difficult everyday life was for Yuu.Kouyou looked at Yuu in those few dreamlike seconds of him unconsciously relying on Kouyou as his safe resting spot, and his face looked so serene. Like it really needed the rest, he was letting out little breaths and it seemed so easy for Kouyou to almost count the individual eyelashes on his eyelids at that distance.Yuu looked so beautiful like that— he looked so goddamn beautiful.There was something poking as a sharping sting against Kouyou's heart and he remembered he really needed to wake him up before Yuu's train passed because if that really happened, Kouyou would just nonchalantly admit he had no problems at all letting him stay over for the night. Luckily enough for him, he even ended up cleaning his entire apartment by himself and it really did look pretty neat for once, but Kouyou decided to consider Yuu's needs before his own; it was easy to imagine that it might have brought a great deal of discomfort on him, and that wasn't fair.Kouyou could see Yuu's lips part with each breath he was taking, there was a faint heat exuding from him as Kouyou let his thumb brush past Yuu's lower lip and caressed the sensitive skin near his piercing. It felt so soft, nice and tender. Kouyou felt like there was an emotion within him that he couldn't name, it was weird and unfamiliar but the best he had ever felt in an amount of time he wasn't even able to define.He was so screwed.Kouyou attempted a gentle shake on Yuu, feeling almost heartbroken at how wrong it felt to disrupt his so needed rest in that moment and break the peaceful look on his beautiful face.“Hey Yuu—” Is all Kouyou managed to say, apparently it was loud enough for Yuu to emit a faint hum and adjust himself to stay in an even more comfortable position.“C'mon, wake up, sleepyhead,” This is nothing it's just something to help the sleepy boy wake up quicker is what Kouyou told himself when he leaned in closer and then he lowered his head to the back of Yuu's neck, moving away a few of his hair strands by letting out a weak blow, and then brushing his own lips against his skin.While moving away from the spot where he left his gentle peck, Kouyou stopped by Yuu's ear and he reiterated his previous request in a way so soft it seemed almost like a plea. Kouyou had no absolute idea he had it in him to suddenly act so considerate and attentive towards someone.“Hey angel boy, wake up now, yeah?”At that Yuu tilted his head slightly and it seemed like he was slowly regaining back his consciousness.“Huh, Uruppi? What happened?” Yuu asked, his voice soft and drowsy.He rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand and before Kouyou could even confirm that he got back to the realm of the awake and respond to him, Yuu pulled away from his shoulder with a sudden movement once he quickly put the pieces together, his whole aura emitting embarrassment.“Oh God... I fell asleep didn't I? I'm so sorry about this,” Yuu said going back fiddling with his hands, the look in his eyes genuinely upset.“It's okay, relax. How are you feeling?” Kouyou asked, a hint of concern in his voice.“I'm fine, really,” Yuu looked around to locate the train he had to get on in an amount of time shorter than the one they had shared so far, a little pout appeared on his face as he realized his first in-person encounter with Kouyou, both of them aware of their identities now, was coming to an end.“What's the long face?” Kouyou asked sharply letting out a quiet chuckle.“Huh, nothing it's just— I wish I didn't waste all that time being all shy and nervous at the beginning. Talking to you is actually very easy. It's just as we do in the gaming chatroom and I'm normally so shy and quiet with everyone but with you,” Yuu paused.“Huh, with you I talk so much and I want to talk even more and more with you,” Yuu said and smiled as he looked at Kouyou, averting his eyes immediately after as the piercing's gaze of Kouyou seemed to weaken him completely and leave him in a state of comforting dizziness.Kouyou knew perfectly what he meant with that. Yuu had a sort of charisma way too difficult for Kouyou to fathom.He was very shy and that was a fact. He seemed to be constantly wary of everyone and his narcolepsy must have played a big role in that lack of trust in a world so unaware of his struggles. At the same time, there was something so bittersweet pure seeing how he seemed to embody brightness itself with how his eyes would so sincerely brighten up in the presence of anyone who managed to break down his shy boy's walls.“Well, you must have been pretty nervous to talk about that narcolepsy thing— Now you did and we're good,” Kouyou said, his mellow-like voice emitting a sense of peace.“We can hang out again anytime you like, I'd actually really love that and as you know we need to plan for the next online gaming competition we'll join.” As Kouyou said that, he took out his phone and gave a quick glance to some sort of online gaming competitions site. He had the habit of visiting it every now and then, whenever a new date to compete and try getting the cash prize would approach and he had to get ready in order to join it; informing his gaming bestie about all the details regarding it, and start planning out their strategy.“Ah, next one is in a month, this tournament is gonna be shorter and the prize is not as much as the previous one but it's worth a try.” Kouyou sighed and said matter of factly while scrolling the competition rules.“Uruppi, what were you going to do with the cash prize if we managed to win?”Right. They never actually asked that to each other and it was definitely curious to find out.“I wanted to get a new guitar,” Kouyou said, scratching the back of his neck as if it reminded him of how unreasonably upset he got when they lost and the relentless and childish tantrum he threw at Yuu on their chat.He really shouldn't have reacted like that when at the end of the day, all he wanted to do with the money was simply just getting a new guitar and he already had a couple but hell that was actually quite irrelevant— for a deadly competitive boy like Kouyou, the sole fact of losing in itself was enough to get him all heated and make him fall victim of his own impulsiveness.“I already have two but I wanted a new one, I've been eyeing it for a while and with my bassist best friend we play every now and then.”Yuu's entire face gasped in admiration as Kouyou finished talking and excitement was written all over his face.“That's so cool, Uruppi! You're a rockstar,” Yuu said, giggling to himself in a child-like and adorable manner.“You need to let me hear you play sometime,”“I mean, if you want to.” Yuu added, feeling the need to remind himself he had to quiet down his enthusiasm.“Yeah, I would love to,” Kouyou said.He realized Yuu had sort of been a part of his life for several months already without him knowing it and acknowledging online or not, he was constantly in contact with this behind a screen presence. Kouyou would even make up excuses to leave around eleven each time his friends would drag him out for a hangout, and Kouyou knew past eleven was the hour he'd meet up with his virtual companion who was there to wait for him; Kouyou had never truly realized how that fact alone meant so much already.“What about you? What were you going to do with the prize's money?”Kouyou asked and Yuu had started playing with his fringe again and he seemed lost in thought as if he was putting up a mental algorithm to present in its perfect order.“Ah I wanted to move out— Getting an apartment here, it's where I work and I really like the job. My manager doesn't like me much but my colleagues are really nice and I'd like to live nearby so I can walk to work and save myself the troubles of getting on public transportation every time.” Yuu sighed.“It's a bit of a hassle, I got used to it by now but I've been through some troubles because of it at first and I'm kind of tired to deal with it.”Yuu's reason to win the cash prize was so much more important than Kouyou's, he thought, Yuu must have felt twice the frustration knowing the whole ridiculous game over happened because of something he couldn't control.Kouyou wanted to hold him so tightly and for that gesture alone to sort of communicate already how brave Yuu was for living on his own like that.“We're going to win the next one and we'll find a way for you to stay awake when it's needed,” Kouyou said and looked at Yuu with a competitive grin on his face.“Even if that means having you move your whole gaming equipment at my place and we play together like that so I can wake you up in case you fall asleep.”Kouyou winked at him and normally such a sentence would have sounded like the usual joking shit he'd say and didn't actually mean but he really did mean it this time. A strong sense of determination possessed him as he heard Yuu's intentions on using the prize and Kouyou would have made sure first place was definitely going to be theirs next time.“You're so extreme, it's a bit funny—” Yuu giggled.“That would be fun, just please don't look at my screen when I play, I get sort of nervous,” His voice turned into a quiet purr pointing that out.All of a sudden a familiar melody started playing out of what was in Yuu's pocket, hinting it had to be his cellphone's ringtone advising him he had five minutes left and Kouyou's mind activated immediately to recognize the song.“Promise?” Kouyou asked. Yeah that was Akira's Yamaoka's promise, part of Silent Hill's soundtrack. Kouyou liked the game well enough, he was pleasantly surprised scaredy-cat sweet Yuu was a fan too.“Y-yeah! Of course you'd know it too, I love Yamaoka's composing!”Yuu exclaimed happily while silencing the ringtone.“I gotta go but first—” As Yuu started talking, Kouyou snatched the phone away from his hands so quickly it made him gasp in confusion.“Wait I'm gonna register my number so you text me when you get home, okay?”Kouyou said as he typed something in the time of a couple of seconds to hand back the device to Yuu who was staring at the screen smiling, seeing the contact with Kouyou's name attached to a bunch of numbers.“Sorry that was so sudden but I wanted to make sure I didn't forget. I need to know you made it home safely,” Kouyou said and he could barely recognize himself in hearing those words were coming out of his month. The concern was so vivid and it was such an unusual feeling for Kouyou to experience.Expressing his own feelings in a raw manner like that would usually make his skin crawl in aversion as the cringe would tend to dominate him so aggressively. None of those words were necessarily needed to be included in the list of his duties to perform as a friend, but Yuu was so fragile and so easy to break and the world was merciless and Kouyou was sort of starting to bring it on himself to be as protective as he possibly was allowed to be towards Yuu.“Thank you, I will text you immediately as I get home,” Yuu said and looked at Kouyou with those sincere eyes of his.“Despite your intimidating looks,”“You're very, very caring. I appreciate this more than you can imagine.” Yuu smiled.There were things most people would take for granted and not consider important enough to bring out in a spoken communication, and it was okay and just natural because a good sense and intuition was enough to make the people involved in that connection aware of each other's stance. Yuu though, he would find a way to view the simplest of things with an importance so pure, it was easy to assume it must have been a special talent of his. Kouyou was profoundly and so stupidly fond of it.“A-Ah— Before you'd snatch my phone away like that, I was gonna say that I've been working on making my own game for a while now," Yuu said, talking so fast as he was clearly trying to utilize at his best the remaining little time he had left. Kouyou looked at him with hungry curiosity.That was exciting. The sleepy boy just wasn't gonna give him any break, huh?“I wanted to ask you if you'd like to be my beta tester— I didn't say anything about this so far because I wanted it to be a surprise but now we have some free time away from online competitions and we can play whatever we like and take it easy. It's really nothing much— It's a single player game and there's around fourteen endings and only a happy one. You get the endings based on your choices, like a visual novel, you know?”Yeah, Kouyou knew those and he had played them to an amount so stupid it felt like having read an amount of text longer than what one could find in the bible. Kouyou tended to be relentless and would stop touching the game only when unlocked all the endings. Seeing the drastic changes that occurred in the storyline based on a stupid choice like making the protagonist react with Huhhh instead of Huh? once in front of surprising news was stupidly funny and exciting.“I made it in a way that's very hard to get the happy ending. There's a demo of it on itch.io but I'd really really love for you to be my beta tester— No one has played it yet and I'm also very curious seeing how many attempts you're gonna do until you get the happy ending,” Yuu said, he was talking so fucking quickly it was so hilarious compared to how timidly quiet he was not even an hour before. Kouyou felt like one of those customers at Slowgamey who'd ask Yuu for some simple clarification on some game's setting and Yuu would start rambling, sharing the most niche knowledge known to man it was practically almost impossible to find online even after doing a dedicated in-deep research.“There's not much logic on how to get it, it's pretty subjective. I think it's something you can achieve mainly if you know some things about the creator,” Yuu stopped for a brief second, giggling like a sweet kitten as he put emphasis on the last word, hinting a faint sense of pride in having attempted to make the game difficult. A difficulty that might give a hard time even to the king of game strategies Kouyou himself. Ugh God. Yuu was so cute it wasn't even funny.“The story and the art and everything, I worked on it by myself and it's not super great at all and definitely to improve but I think it's alright as a start.”Yuu paused and he barely had two minutes left. He stood up and blushed as he finished his monologue, doing his best to explain the plot in the quickest way possible.“The title is To live is to Love and the protagonist basically has lost all emotions due to something I can't say because it'd be spoiler but basically, he tries to get them back because on that alternate planet living without love is considered a sin and he is a sinner at the beginning. He lacks the ability to love and you need to find the right companion who's gonna help him revive that feeling. If you succeed, you get the happy ending but even if you choose the right companion, it's not guaranteed that you'll get the happy ending. You need to make the right choices in order for that to happen.” Yuu explained and Kouyou was looking at him with his mouth gaped. Having the possibility to be allowed in that brilliant and creative mind of Yuu's was a luck Kouyou had no intention of exchanging with anything else ever.“I also added a couple of Python function string tricks— You once brought those up in the chat and I noted everything down and I wanted to utilize that knowledge somehow.”Yuu smiled so brightly and Kouyou felt like he was being pulled towards some sort of gravitational point, he was falling directly towards it and there was no way to stop its aggressive force; going against it would have been absolutely pointless.He was frozen and suspended in awe as Yuu was babbling something on how he was gonna text Kouyou immediately once he had made it home as he was getting on the train. He waved bye at Kouyou with that sadness in his eyes that puppies have when they need to be separated from their owners and Kouyou felt once again like he was falling and falling and there was no logic, no master plan, no algorithm, there was simply nothing to stop that fall.