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The full moon lingered like an orb of iridescent opal in the sky. And underneath its silvery rays, two figures made their way through the viridian fields beyond the schoolyard of Hogwarts. One was a gigantic shaggy black dog that met his companion stride for stride. The other was a blondish wolf with shades of gray through his pelt and a wild look on his face. Atop the crest of a hill, the black dog slowed, gazing up at the sky when a blanket of gray clouds covered the moon.As the wolf came up beside him, an uncomfortable look crossed his expression. The dog looked away as his companion howled in pain and slowly, agonizingly, gradually- shed the form of a beast. Now, laying in the grass, facing upward at the stars, was a skinny, lanky middle-aged man with wispy blond hair and tired hazel eyes. His chest heaved with the effort of breath, and he covered his face with his hands.The dog disappeared in an instant and beside him in the grass flopped an equally as haunted looking man with a deeply furrowed face and ghostly gray eyes. He glanced over at his companion, dug around in the pocket of his trousers, and extended something to him.“Eat it. It’s chocolate.”“T-Thank you…” the gaunt man took the candy thankfully and popped it in his mouth. He looked over at his friend, who was watching him with nearly predatory eyes.“What is it, Sirius?”“I just… I thought that the Wolfsbane Potion was supposed to help with all of this, Remus.”“It helps more than you know,” the professor sat up with a wince and swallowed his chocolate. “You might not like Snape, but he’s a genius with potions… I’d be lost without it. And lost without you, my friend.” Remus blinked slowly at his companion. “But Sirius, it is much too risky for you to keep coming to Hogwarts like this… Dumbledore’s grace has kept me on as a teacher… and I do appreciate you coming out here during my cycles… but you’re so newly a free man. What if someone sees you?”“Someone will see a black dog. And then run away screaming because of ‘the grim’!” Sirius waved his fingers in front of the professor’s face and Remus just scowled at him.“Sirius…”“I’ll hear nothing more of it, Remus. James and Lily are dead. Peter is a traitor… you’re my only friend left in this world. And until the time that Harry comes to live with me, I’m entirely alone. All I do is bounce around between various locations and the estate I grew up in. And I can’t stay by myself at Grimmauld Place- I’ll go mad!”“Well, you’ll have Buckbeak and Kreacher to keep you company.” Sirius just stared at his dear friend.“A hippogriff and a racist house elf? This is your argument for why I shouldn’t be losing my mind?”“You’re right. I’m sorry." Remus looked away and shrugged his shoulders. Something tapped against his arm and he looked over to see Sirius offering him another piece of chocolate. He took it.“In speaking of lonely…” Sirius was burning a hole into the side of Remus’ head with his gaze. “I’ve heard the new professor has taken a bit of a shine to you. Nymphadora is quite popular with her students. And Harry tells me she can’t take her eyes off of you. Do you fancy her?”“She’s a sweet girl.”“She’s got the right bloodline, that’s for sure, my cousin.” Sirius looked away and stared up at the cloudy sky. He puffed up his chest and lowered his voice to mimic Kreacher. “The noble house of Black.” Remus chuckled and shook his head.“She’s also over a decade younger than me.”“Age is but a number.”“She’s highborn… I’m poorer than dirt.”“Ask Albus for a raise.”“I’m a werewolf.” Remus closed his eyes. “I’m a monster.”“Moony…” Sirius placed a gentle hand on his friend’s shoulder. “You’re not a monster…”“Who could ever love someone like me?” Remus turned to face Sirius and saw something intense burning in those hollow gray eyes. It took him aback. “Sirius?...”“Do you love her?”“Love…?”“Nymphadora. Do you love her?”“I… she’s very pretty. But, Sirius, we’ve hardly talked really…” Something grave shadowed Sirius’ face and he gave a small nod.“She is pretty. Have you told her that? That you think she’s pretty?”“What?”“Have you kissed her?”“Sirius!”“Have you thought about kissing her? About how sweet her mouth must taste? Or about how she looks at you through her long, dark eyelashes?” Remus watched, stunned, as the shorter man got to his feet and started to fidget nervously with his hands. “You say you haven’t spoken to her much- but you’ve noticed that she’s pretty. And I’m sure you don’t mind her pining after you like a lovestruck schoolgirl.” Remus instantly recognized some of the erratic insanity he had known from Sirius for years. It wasn’t unlike his companion to get riled up in an instant and nearly stir himself into a frenzy of psychosis.Before he even had time to say anything more, Sirius snarled at him in a nearly animalistic way as the professor shakily got to his feet. They stared at each other in silence for a moment before Sirius turned on his heels and stormed off toward the shaded tree line without a word. Remus shot a nervous glance up at the sky then followed him. “Padfoot, please! I-I don’t understand what I did to upset you. Is this really about Tonks?...”“You act like you’re unlovable, Remus! It’s infuriating! You run away from a thing when it’s right in front of your face. A rich young girl wants to snog you and you’re over here feeling sorry for yourself!”“I’m a monster!” Remus cried, his heart pounding in his chest from how quickly the calm night had taken a turn for the worse. “Look at me!”“Look at me!” Sirius whirled around to face him, a cold kind of mania settling into his gray eyes. “You think you’re the monster, Moony? You?” He grabbed either side of his button-up shirt and ripped it apart- revealing a skeletal chest with countless scars laced across sickly pale skin. “Twelve years in Azkaban robbed me of my beauty. Now I look like this. And you wonder if anyone could ever love you? You with your beautiful mind and your tender heart? You with your knowledge of spells and brilliance in defenses? You with your determination and kindness even after all the darkness you have seen? Remus Lupin, you are as easy to love as it is to fall asleep.”Remus stared at him, eyes wide and brimming with tears. The professor took one shaky step forward. Then another. Then another- until he was only a breath away from Sirius. He lifted a trembling hand and placed it on his chest- right over an ugly crisscrossed network of scars. He held his friend’s gaze.“Sirius…”“What is it about her you think is pretty?” Sirius suddenly asked in a soft voice that almost sounded hurt. “Do you think about her when you’re lonely?... Do you think about her touching you?”“Sirius.”“Why do you think I became a dog? Hmm? While James took on the Animagus of a stag and Peter a rat? I wanted to be closer to you- as close as I could be.”“… Sirius…”“Besides the fact that I was innocent- do you know what I thought of the most in Azkaban? Yes- Harry was priority… of course, I wanted to see him and know him and love him. But besides that… it was you- Remus- you. I thought of you every single day. I worried about how you were coping in this big, scary, moonlight-filled world all alone. I hoped you’d be okay. And then I got out and I came to Hogwarts and you were here… and my God, what rapture I felt. You were pale and had more scars than when I saw you last. You had cuts across your face, gray in your hair, and this faraway look in your eyes. But the joy I felt when I saw you, Remus, I…” Sirius’ gaze flickered, the words coming out faster and more erratic now. “Harry and I have talked about finding our own home somewhere in the country when he comes to stay with me- somewhere with open fields and skies...”“That sounds wonderful, Sirius,” Remus said with a trembling voice as he held the man’s gaze steadily. “It’ll be just what you need after all those years in Azkaban.”“Did you hate me?”“What?”“For leaving you?”“Sirius…”“Did you hate me when you thought I’d betrayed James and Lily and killed Peter? Did you?”“I didn’t know what to believe back then…”“I couldn’t stand to think that you hated me... for even a second. When all I’ve ever done was…” Sirius trailed harshly as his words caught in his throat. “Do you love Tonks?”“Stop asking me about her.”“She could give you a good life. Like you said- she’s pretty, she’s younger, she has the finances and the proper pedigree.”“Sirius…”“She could give you children.”“I don’t want…”“She could give you someone soft and warm to hold at night. Someone to calm the beast when the moon is full.” His voice was starting to pick up again, faster and more agitated and he almost sounded… scared.“Sirius, could you please stop for just a moment…”“Someone truly beautiful. Someone who isn’t wanted by the whole damned Wizarding World for a crime they didn’t commit…”“Sirius, if you have something to say- just say it!”“Why should I?!” Sirius screamed at last as the emotions finally bubbled out of him. “Why should I tell you?! I’ve told you silently for years, Moony! From the moment we met until this very second right now- I have always known… but I can’t… I can’t say it… because even worse than you hating me is the thought that… I could say those words… and you not feel the same w…”“Sirius Black, please shut up…” Remus’ heart hammered in his chest. He reached up, grabbed the man’s face on both sides, held him still, and kissed him.Heat beyond intense raced up his spine as Sirius aggressively clutched his waist and embraced him with so much fire it threatened to burn. Remus shuddered at the force of Sirius’ fingernails digging into his skin and the rush of his tongue between his teeth. Then, just when Remus’ head was growing foggy from the craze, Sirius broke the kiss and the professor felt all of the air leave his lungs. He stared into his friend’s eyes and saw something heartbreaking there: fear.“I’m s-sorry,” Sirius whispered in a voice that was more timid than Remus had ever heard it. Like a beaten dog whipped into a corner. Sirius’ breath was ragged and hot on the werewolf’s face and his eyes were wide. “Moony, I’m so sorry! I… Oh God, I’ve ruined everything…” Sirius drew his hands back to himself and took a shaky step backward, staring at his companion with terror etching into the worn lines on his face. “No… Oh no…”“Shh, shh, shh… it’s okay. Hey, it’s okay. Calm down…” Remus took a step forward and reached for Sirius with shaky hands. “Padfoot, please… I… You haven’t ruined anything. I… I kissed you. I wanted it.” Sirius kept backing up until his spine was against a tree. Remus seized the opportunity and grabbed his hands.“I don’t want Nymphadora Tonks. I don’t want someone pretty or rich or younger. I want… someone who has always known how to calm the beast in me when the moon is full. Someone who matches my softness with their wild. I do not love her, Sirius. I… I love you. You silly, crazy, dangerous man. Don’t you know that? Don’t you?...” Remus traced his trembling fingers up Sirius’ scar-woven arms. He took his face again between his hands and forced him to look into his eyes. Tears were glistening on Sirius’ lashes and Remus brushed them away with his thumbs.“R-Remus…”“Kiss me again.”“What?”“Kiss me… again…” Remus licked his lips nervously. “Wildly. Like you did just now… you don’t have to say you feel the same way… but damn it, Sirius Black, show me…”Sirius let out all of the air in his lungs. He shakily grabbed Remus’ belt loops and pulled him so close they were touching. He kissed first his chin, then his neck, his cheek. He moved one hand from his waist and cupped Remus’ face. The lycan whimpered softly as Sirius claimed his mouth again and hesitated less than a second to search for his tongue. The tantalizing taste of fine chocolate pulled Sirius in and he gripped Lupin to him with desperate force. A nervous bead of sweat formed on Remus’ brow as he felt something hard pulse against his leg. He dropped his hands from Sirius’ face and traced his chest, his arms, and then found the rim of his pants. His fingers were trembling like mad as he cupped the crest of Sirius’ trousers. Sirius gasped and broke the kiss, leaning his head back against the tree to stare at Remus with shock and adoration on his face.“Well, well, well, professor… not as bashful as I thought you were, hm?...”“S-Sirius… I’m so nervous… I’ve never…”“What you’re doing right there is a fine start,” Sirius whispered in a husky, desperate, needy voice that sent chills up Remus’ spine. “I just… can’t help myself, Moony… y-you just do something to me. You always have.”“Sirius, this is insane… we’re… we’re in the middle of the forest and the moon is full and…”“Don’t you talk me out of it now that you’ve got me going…” Sirius cupped Remus’ face again and pulled him into a tender kiss. “Don’t be afraid…”“I’m terrified.”“Of me?” Sirius’ voice was small again. Remus shook his head.“Of what you’ll think of me…” he paused, his entire body shaking. “Merlin, Padfoot, what are we doing?...”“Whatever we want. Whatever you want…” Another kiss. Sirius held Remus’ gaze. “It's your move, Moony…” a bit of delicious danger flashed in his haunted eyes. “You can clearly tell what I think of it all.”Lupin’s heart hammered in his chest. He kissed Sirius again and felt the temptation outweighing his rational thinking. I have Sirius Black at my fingertips… hard and heavy in my hands… looking at me with those beautiful eyes… Remus held the former prisoner’s gaze as he grabbed Sirius by the belt loops.“I want them off…” he whined as he pushed downward on the pants.“Take it from me then!” Sirius teased as he nipped Remus’ bottom lip. “Go on, Moon. Show me what you want.” Despite the desire pouring off of him, Lupin could nearly taste the fear that was prickling just under the surface. Sirius is just as terrified as I am... He kept contact with Sirius’ eyes as he worked off his belt and let it fall to the forest floor. Then he unbuttoned his trousers and pushed them to the ground. He felt Sirius flinch and his eyes softened.“Is this okay?” the lycan asked gently as he traced his shaky fingers across his companion’s thigh. Remus’ eyebrows furrowed when he felt scars even here. “Oh, Padfoot…”“They’re everywhere,” Sirius whispered. “My entire body… A-Azkaban…”“Is a different lifetime away from here,” Remus told him gently as he kissed first the tip of Sirius’ nose and then his trembling lips again. “Can I touch you here?”“Y-Yes.” Remus deepened the kiss and let Sirius get lost again in the sensation of his tongue. The former prisoner shuddered when Lupin moaned against his mouth and he dug his fingers into the professor’s thin, graying hair. When Sirius’ nails scraped his scalp, the slight tinge of pain just ignited the pleasure. He took Sirius’ length in his hands and the entire world shifted. “O-Oh…” Sirius broke the kiss- much to Lupin’s dismay- and leaned his head in the nook between his shoulder and neck. “Oh… Moon, that’s so nice…”“Is it?” Remus kissed the top of his head. “Do you like it?”“Yes, very much…”“May I give you more?”“More?...” Sirius lifted his head, his eyes dewy and lovestruck as Remus met his mouth again with a gentle kiss. The lycan dropped his lips to Sirius’ neck then his shoulders. He reluctantly released the heat in his hands and grabbed either side of his companion’s shirt. He slid down to his knees as he pulled the fabric the rest of the way off. Remus stared up at Sirius in awe and saw the man he adored look away from him. There was scarcely a part of his body that didn’t have some type of mark or scar. His chest, still thin from Azkaban, was the worst of it. Remus ran a hand gently up his torso and traced the tattoo of his identification number with a gentle finger.“I t-told you… I’m…”“Beautiful,” Lupin breathed as he kissed the inside of Sirius’ thigh and it made the man tremble.“Not a word I would have used.”“It’s the word I’m using…” Remus kissed him again, this time a little higher and a little closer to his goal. Sirius shivered and glanced down at him.“Moon, I-I…”“I can stop if you don’t want me to.”“I… I-I want you to. Merlin, I want you to. More than I want to breathe at the moment…”“Well, keep some air in your lungs for me, hm?...” Remus offered him a small, nervous smile and placed a hand on his hip. He used his other to guide Sirius’ length toward his lips. He swallowed down the rising anxiety as his mouth filled with eager saliva and Lupin gathered his courage. Then the lycan closed his eyes and took the first few inches in against his tongue.“Ah, fuck…” hearing the dirty word come from his lover made goosebumps prickle up his arms. Sirius’ fingernails once more found his scalp and Remus groaned from the pressure on his skin. The professor adjusted so he could take a bit more and felt the tip of Sirius’ length graze against the back of his throat. He jerked a bit out of immediate reaction to gag but calmed himself and swallowed down the water that coated his mouth. Sirius snarled at him and held his head steady as Lupin found his stride.“Oh… fuck, Moony… that’s so good…” The praise caused Remus to flood with euphoria and he groaned around his lover as he pushed himself a little faster and a little further. The reaction to his affirmation wasn’t lost on Sirius as a bead of sweat formed in the crease of his brow. He tightened his grip on Remus’ head and started pushing back with the motion of the bobbing until his lover had nearly taken him right down to the skin. “Oh, that’s a good boy, Moon… look at you… my pretty boy like that? You like it when I fuck your mouth like this?...”Lupin’s cheeks filled with color. Shamefully, deeply, horribly- he loved the way Sirius was talking to him. The praise. The cursing. The filth. And it’s all for me… Remus relaxed his jaw and forced himself all the way down until his lips met Sirius’ skin. He opened his eyes as tears instantly formed on his lashes from the effort. He gripped his lover’s hips with primal force and gagged around the length that was tipped in the back of his throat. Remus could barely breathe, but found the chills the pressure gave him was worth ten times the discomfort of his aching jaws. He looked up at Sirius with desperate eyes and shivered at the adoration and desire burning in his gray depths. He tried to pull his head back, but Sirius held him still.“Good doggy. Just like that.” Remus squirmed from both the praise and need for relief but he didn’t try to pull away again. Sirius gripped him tighter. “Are you my pretty boy?” Remus froze. “Are you?” He held Sirius’ gaze as saliva ran from the corners of his mouth and soaked his companion’s thighs. Tears threatened to fall and this time not from the urge to wretch. “Nod your head, Remus. Are you my pretty boy?” Remus felt panic setting in. He desperately needed to breathe but Sirius wasn’t budging- and God the euphoria that kind of power brings… Remus was aware that he was now so hard it was nearly painful and he was so close to spilling the contents of his stomach that he could barely hold on a moment longer. Sirius raised an eyebrow at him.“I can feel you choking, Remus. The sensation is fantastic on my cock… but I know you need to breathe. Just nod for me, handsome. Come on. Are. You. My. Pretty. Boy?” The tears ran down the professor’s cheeks. To be called handsome… to be stared at with so much adoration… to be used in such a desired manner… he gagged against Sirius’ length and yanked his head back with a cough. Sirius let out a sound that was so guttural and primal that it could have put Lupin’s wolf side to shame. Remus collapsed into the dewy grass and gasped for breath, spitting out mouthful after mouthful of saliva and arousal. He was only just faintly aware of Sirius laying down beside him until he started to wipe the mess from his face.“Did I hurt you, Remus?”“N-No.”“Was I too rough?”“No.”“Did… Did you enjoy yourself?”“God, yes…” as Sirius swiped his hand over Remus’ lips, the lycan looked at him and saw an odd, understanding kind of sadness brewing on his face. “I just want to make you see yourself the way I see you,” Sirius told him and Remus felt pesky tears forming again. “You’re so beautiful, Moony…” he kissed his lover between the eyes. “And you… did a wonderful job,” he whispered softly. “I’d like to return the favor.”“I… you… what?” Remus was still barely aware of his surroundings as Sirius began kissing his way down his neck. He took the professor’s shirt in his hands and began to hastily unfasten the buttons. “My gorgeous boy…” he ran those calloused hands across Lupin’s scarred chest and Remus winced as he traced a nasty mark along the left side of his ribcage.

“This one looks painful.”“One of the worst ones. I was bruised for weeks afterward,” Remus replied in a breathy voice as Sirius sat back by his knees and began to unbutton his trousers. “Si-Sirius, I’m nervous, I…”“I’ll be easy,” his lover told him softly. “I won’t hurt you… I got carried away a moment ago… I… I heard… and saw… a lot of horrid things in Azkaban… that’s not how I want this to be. Filthy and strewn with muggle curses…”“I didn’t hate it though,” Remus told him as more color filled his cheeks. “I really enjoyed it… I just… need more practice, I think.”“We can work on that, if you want.” Remus watched, wide-eyed, as Sirius began to stroke himself and held eye contact with him. Instinctively, Lupin’s mouth began to water and he swallowed it down with bashful nerves. He couldn’t take his gaze off the former prisoner… and the glistening, throbbing heat in his hands. “I can’t wait to taste you, Moon… but first, I want to finish what we started. Now. Answer me. Are you my pretty boy?” Remus froze again.“Sirius, I c-can’t…”“I won’t so much as look at your cock until you answer me.” Sirius tilted his head to the side and bit his lip as he gripped himself harder. It made Remus shutter.“Sirius, God, please…”“You don’t have to believe it, Remus. Just say it. For me.” Sirius shivered. “God, I’m so slick because of that pretty mouth of yours… oh, I just wish you would say it so I could have you against my tongue… I can make you slick too, Moon.”Remus squirmed underneath him and ached for his touch. He bit his lip as tears formed in his eyes again. “I… I am.”“You are… what?”“I… I’m your… pretty boy…”“That’s a good puppy,” Sirius praised with a smile. He released himself and slid down on his belly so that he was more directly between the lycan’s legs. Sirius parted his lips and took Remus into his mouth before the professor even had time to register what was going on. A gasp left his lungs that rolled into a near-scream as he dug his fingernails into Sirius’ scalp. The former prisoner groaned in pleasure at the sharp pricks of pain and kept a hard grip on Lupin’s hips. He glanced up at his lover and was heartbroken to realize that the teacher wasn’t watching him as he bobbed his head rhythmically up and down. In fact, Remus was trying desperately to look anywhere but down. He didn’t think he could handle the sight.“Oh… Oh… S-Sirius!... Yes, that’s so… so good… I-I…” Remus tilted his head back, sweat forming across his brow as he rocked his hips gently with the motion. “Ah, that’s… oh… Merlin, I… oh my God… Yes…” He bit his lip, shame again causing his cheeks to flush with color. “Sirius, I… C-Can… Can you…” he felt the sweet heat of Sirius’ mouth lessen and he nearly sobbed when he left him.“Can I what, Moon?”“Uhm… c-can…” Remus’ pupils narrowed into crazed slits as Sirius began to work on him again. “C-C-Can you… go… harder?...” Sirius paused as chills raced up his spine. He groaned, nodded, and put more strength into his efforts. He’d occasionally let his teeth scrape just the smallest portions of Lupin’s length and each time his fangs met flesh- the werewolf tightened his grip on Sirius’ curls. He could tell his lover was getting close. His breathing was so short and his heat was so rigid against his tongue. He wanted to release. He wanted to so badly… Oh, I want him to… I want to do that for him… I’ve dreamed about it for years…“Sirius, I… I… I want to…”“Hmm?” he groaned around the length. Sirius looked up as Lupin looked down and the ex-prisoner was shocked to see how red the lycan’s cheeks were.“I… want to… uhm… I-I…”“What is it, Moony?” he whispered in a grainy, sultry voice that made Lupin’s mind fuzzy. “What do you want? You want me to finish you?...”“N-No… I… I mean, yes! But…”“What is it?”“I want to…” Remus held his gaze. “Come here. Let me k-kiss you.” Surprised, Sirius wiped the wetness from his mouth and then worked his way up Lupin’s body until they were equal again.The kiss started soft then quickly bled into something more intense. Remus groaned at feeling all of Sirius’ skin against his own and dug his fingernails into his lover’s shoulders. Sirius again got lost in the sensation of lust and tongue and now- heat against heat. And then suddenly Remus moved and flipped Sirius on his back with a swift force that was hard enough to knock the wind from his lungs. Sirius broke the kiss and found himself searching Lupin’s wide, wondrous hazel eyes as he shifted slightly. There was a flash of movement between his thighs and Sirius felt delicious pressure under his groin.“Oh, so that’s what you want,” he whispered as Remus’s face turned nearly vermilion. “Moon, you surprise me!”“Y-You can tell me no… I just… I got caught up in the…”“Remus John…” Sirius cupped Lupin’s cheek and leaned his forehead against his own. He offered him a dangerous, devilish, intoxicating smile. He kissed him once then leaned in toward his ear. “Please be inside me…”Remus shuddered and closed his eyes. His heart was absolutely pounding as he pushed down with his hips and felt Sirius tense against him. His lover let out a small, erotic, beautiful sound as he slowly slipped in inch by inch. Sirius’ fingernails scored along Remus’ arms until they nearly drew blood and he leaned his head back in pleasure as Lupin pushed in a little more then pulled back out in a soft, delicate motion.“F-Fuck…”“Good?” Remus whispered as sweat ran down his face and dripped from his chin into the earth. “Does it feel good, Sirius?”“Better t-than I ever… dreamed… I…” he gasped as Remus pulled himself all the way out before pushing back inside of him again- all the way to the skin. “Fuck, Moony!”“I d-don’t know how long I can… l-last…” Remus whispered as he kissed Sirius’ throat. “You… you feel so amazing, Padfoot… I… I can’t hold it very long…”“Then don’t,” slowly, Sirius relaxed his spine and tilted his head downward so he was looking Remus in the eyes- gray depths to hazel hues. He kissed him. “Fill me up, Remus… make me full so I’ll never be empty again…”“I’ll never let you be empty again,” Remus whispered as he shamelessly found his rhythm and began to pound his lover harder. Sirius’ cheeks flushed with color and his fingernails drew pinpricks of blood from Lupin’s shoulders. The lycan paid it no mind and leaned into a passionate kiss. “I’ll… I’ll take care of you…”“I’ll take care of you too… if you l-let me,” Sirius told him between kisses. “Oh, Remus… I… I’m so close… I can’t… don’t stop?... Please, right there… just fuck me right there… it’s so… good. You’re so good…”“Mm… that’s all you,” Remus groaned as he leaned his head against his lover’s own and a bead of sweat dropped into Sirius’ beard. “I… want you, Sirius Black. Today. And tomorrow… and for the rest of my life. Not Tonks or anyone else. Just you. I love you. I always have. I…” Remus felt cold chills racing up his body and he struggled to hold his composure. “Oh Merlin, Sirius… I’m about to…”“Me too,” Sirius gasped. “All of it. I want… I want you, Remus John Lupin. Today and tomorrow and for the rest of my life. We were always meant to be together, you and I… Padfoot and the Moon…” he shuddered. “I… I love you… I always have… I… I…” his pupils grew huge until they nearly swallowed his irises. “Remus, I’m…!”“Yes!” Lupin threw his head back and howled- the sound entirely animalistic. His fingernails scraped into the earth as the climax rocked him from his core. He gasped for breath and panted, pupils narrowed into predatory slits as he continued to pound against Sirius- each stroke harder than the last. Sometime between the start of his climax and the middle of it, Sirius folded as well. He screamed laments of pleasure into the night as Remus left him and entered again and again until he ached from the force. Finally, when he was empty and his body spent, he pulled away from Lupin and the two collapsed together- side by side.Heaving, their chests heavily rising and falling with each long, shaky breath, they stared into each other’s eyes. Remus brushed his thumb across Sirius’ cheek and Sirius traced the canine-like hairs along Lupin’s arms. They didn’t talk for a long time until the wind began to blow and it rustled Sirius’ inky black hair. Lupin brushed a curl out of his face. And then, for no reason at all, they both started laughing.“What… what in the hell just happened?” Sirius chuckled as he scooted in closer to his lover. “Was… was that real?”“Feels real,” Lupin nearly purred with a shake of his head. “Did you mean what you said?... About how we were always meant to be together?... Padfoot and the Moon?”“I… I did.” Sirius held his lover’s gaze though a flicker of fear entered his eyes. “I… I’m sorry about earlier. About how angry I got. I just… thought about Nymphadora. And how she’s… everything a Black should be. Everything I’m not… and everything that you deserve…” he blinked back a few tears. “And then you called yourself a monster. I… I can’t stand to hear you talk so badly about yourself. It breaks my heart, Remus, that you feel like nobody could ever love you… when that’s all I’ve ever done.”“I know… and a part of me has always known that, I think…” Remus brushed his thumb over Sirius’ lips. “Times were so different when we were in school… being gay was so looked down upon.”“Almost as much as lycanthropy, hm?” Sirius teased lightly and Remus chuckled in spite of himself. They held each other’s gazes in silence for a few more moments before Sirius cleared his throat. “So… what happens next then?”“Well, what do you want to happen?”“I…” Sirius blinked slowly. “Want you to move into Grimmauld Place with me until we can find a proper home out in the country. I want to make up for lost time and start building the life we always deserved together.”“I’d like all of that,” Remus told him with a small, tired smile. “But what about when the monthly cycles happen?”“I can take care of you- like I always have. Regulus’ old room has lots of padding and honestly it’s pretty trashed anyway.”“Alright- that seems fair enough. Uhm… next question. What do we tell Harry?”“The truth. That we love each other. I don’t think he’ll be upset… we’re his father’s two best friends. Us being together just gives him the kind of family structure he’s never had. Not to mention that you’re one of the most talented wizards I’ve ever known. He can learn so much from you.”“And you too,” Remus countered with a smile before continuing on to his next thought. “And the administration at Hogwarts?... A lot of parents are already not happy with me being a werewolf… but a gay werewolf?... with one of the most wanted men in all of the Wizarding World?...”“I’m still underground for now. I will be for some time yet. We don’t have to be open to anyone for as long as you wish it so. As long as I get to fall asleep in your arms at night and see you in the morning when I wake… that’s all I need. Do you understand, Moon? You and Harry are all I need.”“I can live with that.” Remus, satisfied with all the answers, leaned in and gave Sirius another soft, sweet, sultry kiss. “I love you, Sirius Black.”“I love you, Remus John Lupin.” And then… Sirius broke out in a barking row of laughter that made Remus look at him curiously.“What’s so funny now?”“Oh nothing…” he chuckled. “I just couldn’t help wondering how Kreacher will respond to my latest abominable action to bring dishonor and shame to the noble House of Black!”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The following months at Grimmauld Place were some of the brightest times in the history of the manor. Remus moved in with Sirius a few weeks after that night in the forest and took to its repair while the former prisoner continued to float around at other foreign locations. Sirius came to stay at his childhood home more and more frequently as time went on- despite Dumbledore’s advice to keep away as much as possible. Together, Remus and Sirius began the process of redecorating and stripping some of the bad memories from the house. Sirius left his mother’s room untouched- as her portrait would scream, cry, and pitch a fit anytime he or Remus went in it to change anything. Regulus’ room was left in shambles for Remus to add to the chaos of during full moon cycles. The rest of the house, however?...The dark furniture was exchanged for decor with lighter wood and the drapes all replaced with gold and red Gryffindor colors. Pictures of Harry, Ron, Hermione, as well as James and Lily decorated the hallway from the front door. The newest version of the Daily Prophet always laid on a coffee table that had beautiful carvings of hippogriffs and unicorns along the posts. All through the house were candy dishes filled with sweets for Remus to enjoy and they were constantly replenished if ever near empty (a task that Kreacher most despised). Sirius had taken his childhood bedroom and transformed it into something cozy and warm for he and his lover to share. Lupin enjoyed the darker hued shades, so the sheets stayed in deep blue and moss green.Now, in the early rays of morning, sunlight peppered through the burgundy curtains and drew Sirius from his slumber. He stretched out and sighed dreamily when the smell of cooking food wafted into his nostrils. When he reached over and found Remus already up for the day, he sat up in the bed rather abruptly. He checked a clock on the wall he’d had installed after his beloved moved in. It didn’t tell the time- just phases of the moon. And at the current state… the hardest part of the cycle would be tonight. Sirius got out of bed quickly and slipped into his house shoes. He headed down the stairs urgently but slowed a bit when he saw Remus stirring something on the stove in his morning robes.“I was wondering when you’d wake up. The tomatoes are nearly charred- like you like them. Your tea is on the table. Very little sugar- how you take your morning brew.” Remus exhaled all the air in his lungs when Sirius wrapped his arms around him and warmly kissed the back of his neck. It had been nearly half a year since they’d started living together and he still wasn’t used to the contact from the man he loved. And Sirius was such a physical being. But only with Remus. It was possessive and adoring and intoxicating.When they’d read or study, Sirius typically sat on one end of the couch and Remus the other… but he’d always have a leg out so that his foot was brushing some part of his body. When they went for walks- they’d constantly hold hands. When they’d run as beasts- their fur would almost always touch. Remus found if Sirius walked by him, he’d run his hand across his shoulder. He’d tap him three times if they sat in silence too long just to make sure that he knew he loved him. When Remus would depart for Hogwarts to work, Sirius went with him in his Animagus form to ensure that he made it to the school safely. Sometimes he’d sneak in (with help from Harry or Crookshanks) and visit him in his office for lunch. And even then… he’d sit with a hand on his knee. Sirius had spent twelve years in Azkaban prison away from Remus. Every brush from his fingers was making up for lost time. And Lupin adored it.“You should be resting,” Sirius’ gravely morning voice pulled Remus out of his thoughts. “It’s why you didn’t go to work today, after all. Tonight’s the full moon’s peak… I can tell you’re tired. I know you didn’t rest well.”“I’m restless,” Lupin agreed as he gave one of the eggs in the skillet a prod with the spatula. “I tossed and turned all night. I tried not to wake you.”“You still have the Wolfsbane?”“Yes, I’ll take it after breakfast. It’s just so bloody dreadful- I hate to drink it on an empty stomach.”“I don’t blame you there,” Sirius whispered as he kissed the scarred back of his beloved’s neck again. “You’re trembling.”“Just hungry.”“It’s more than that.”“Sirius…” Remus groaned as his lover traced a hand up his body and cuffed his throat. He tilted Remus’ head back and kissed his cheek. “D-Don’t tempt me…”“You need to let some of it out.”“But b-breakfast…”“I like my eggs a little burnt. Turn the stove off.” Remus obliged and sighed as Sirius’ other hand came around his waist and dipped into his pajama pants. Remus felt primal lust ignite inside him instantly as Sirius’ hand found him already aroused and hard. He was always so… yearning… during the cycle. He craved the run, yes, the wild. The hunt and the anger and the violence. But also… something equally as savage and carnal. Sirius pulled his hands away and moved. Remus stood stiff and rigid until he turned to face his beloved and saw Sirius waiting patiently by the dining room table with his back to the wall. He took a sip of his tea, gray eyes meeting wild hazel depths. He never broke the contact as he dropped his free hand to his waist and pulled down his pajama pants, revealing an already glistening erection. “Come to me, Moony. Come feed.”Remus, feeling his senses tingling and rationality melting away, took a staggered step toward his lover. Then another. He slid to his knees ungracefully and stared up at the man he loved with feral eyes as he opened his mouth. He had gotten within licking distance of Sirius when he remembered something and, for just a moment, the tender man he was bled back through.“Kreacher... He’s bound to see us.”“Let him watch.” Sirius lifted his left foot up and braced it on the table bench. “Let him watch me dishonor the noble house of Black… with Remus Lupin’s beautiful mouth. Hm?” Before Remus could protest, Sirius placed his free hand on the back of his head and eased himself into his lover’s mouth. The moment Sirius’ length passed his lips, Remus’ other thoughts fell away. He shuddered and placed his hands on his beloved’s hips and lavished the shaft in long, sultry licks that caused saliva to spill from the corners of his mouth. Sirius took another sip of his tea and felt his body littering with goosebumps. He clutched a handful of Remus’ graying hair and dug his fingernails into his scalp. “Good boy, Moony… just like that.” Remus’ heart pounded when Sirius praised him. His lover knew how much the little affirmations meant to him. Remus’ eyes closed as he let the raw desire course through him. He dug his fingernails into Sirius’ hips with such force that bruises would form within the hour. He found his pacing- which was a lot harder and faster than his usual rhythm. Sirius bit his lip and took a final sip of his tea before setting it down. He could tell by the ferocity he was losing his Remus and getting more and more of the beast.“Bruising your throat with my cock already, are you?” Sirius groaned as he used both hands to grip Lupin’ head. He forced himself all the way into his mouth until the professor’s lips met the curly hair around his base. Remus’ eyes flew open and he stared up at the ex-prisoner with wide, feral hazel hues. Remus gagged from the pressure, but Sirius’ grip only tightened. “Hold it,” he demanded as tears formed in the lycan’s eyes- but Sirius didn’t budge. He needed Remus to ground himself before they moved on to what was next. “You’re my pretty puppy, Moony. Aren’t you?” Remus’ lurched and for a moment, the wildness fled from his eyes as he wriggled helplessly in Sirius’ iron grasp. “There you are, my beautiful boy…”Remus pulled his head back as Sirius released him and he gasped for breath. Tendrils of gossamer saliva laced from his mouth to his lover and he panted desperately as Sirius pulled him to his feet. Sirius roughly wiped the wetness from his mouth and kissed him. Remus whined and thrust his hands into the man’s thick, charcoal hair. He dug canine-like fingernails into his scalp and licked inside his mouth with such force that Sirius had to grip the table to keep from being knocked backward. Sirius broke the kiss then aggressively grabbed his shoulders, turned him around, and forced Remus across the table- face down. Remus gasped as Sirius used one hand to pull down his pajama pants while his other braced the back of the lycan’s skull. His pupils grew until they nearly swallowed his irises when Sirius pushed inside of him without a warning. It stung like hellfire at first but his lover was so soft and slow and gentle that soon the pain ebbed away to be replaced by raw, fiery sparks of pleasure. Remus groaned and shamelessly arched his back to give Sirius a better angle. He groaned when his length hit the perfect place inside.“My pretty boy like that?” Sirius asked in that gravely, needy voice that always set Lupin’s skin on fire. “Hmm? You like it when I fuck you like this?... Answer me, Remus.”“Y-Yes,” he hissed through gritted teeth. “God, it feels so good…”“Tell me what you need. What will tame the beast?”“Harder,” Remus whispered and Sirius increased both the speed and depth of each stroke. He gasped when he was emptied entirely before being pumped full again- all the way to the skin. Again and again, the sound of aggressive mating echoed off the walls and Remus couldn’t stop the half-human, half-animalistic noises that ripped from his lungs. “Y-Yes… More…”“You filthy pup…” Sirius growled as he released Remus’ head and grabbed his hips harshly. He dug his fingernails into his skin and forced him backward as he pushed each thrust. He braced his left foot up on the bench again and began pounding his lover as hard and as fast as he could. The shift in angle forced the length in deeper and deeper each time and Remus cried out in a mixture of pain and pleasure.“Yes! Oh, Sirius, I…”“Don’t you dare. Don’t.” Then, Remus could hardly believe it. Sirius stopped. He gasped and snarled when Sirius pulled out of him only seconds before he was going to climax. Remus whirled around, face flushed and with tears in his eyes. He was trembling and braced against the table to steady himself. Sirius licked his lips and offered that devilish, dangerous, delicious smile of his. “Oh, Moony, are you cross with me?”“Why did you stop?!” Remus snapped and Sirius claimed his mouth with a kiss and his throat with a hand. Sirius groaned around Remus’ tongue and pushed him back down on the table. He used his free hand to push his legs apart and then slipped back inside of his lover again. He only needed to guide himself for a moment and the wetness did the rest. Remus hungrily lapped at Sirius’ tongue and clawed at his shoulders. Sweet pinpricks of blood formed on his skin and Sirius groaned at the mixture of pain and pleasure. Their kissing turned hot and feverish as the former prisoner’s pace became a bit faster but a lot deeper. He used the hand that wasn’t clasping Remus’ throat to hold his leg steady as he pounded against him again and again. “Oh…” Remus moaned at last when he could hold the sound back no more. He leaned his head back against the table and gasped as Sirius entered him over and over. “Merlin, Padfoot…”“I refuse to fuck you like a beast. I want to look at your beautiful face when you cum for me, Remus. You know that.” Sirius slid the hand he had locked around Remus’ throat up to his face and turned his head so they were facing each other. “There you are. My pretty boy. With those gorgeous hazel eyes.” Remus made an incredibly sensual sound that sent chills up Sirius’ spine. “I know what you need, Remus. All you need to do is take it.”“I…” Remus’ eyebrows furrowed. He did know. He knew what he wanted. What he needed. He eyed the spot on Sirius’ shoulder where a mosaic of teeth marks already existed. His teeth marks. His mouth began to water as he met his lover’s gaze again. Sirius nodded at him and rotated his hips in a circle- a motion that sent shockwaves of pleasure up Remus’ spine. “Oh, Sirius… I love you, my darling… so, so much…”“I know you do,” Sirius whispered as he leaned over Remus and placed his hands on either side of his head to steady himself. Remus locked his ankles around Sirius’ waist as he kept rotating his hips. Sirius offered his shoulder to Remus and winked at him. “So show me.” Remus’ resolve shattered. His eyes grew wild again as he wrapped his arms around Sirius and dug his fingernails into his shoulder blades. Sirius hissed in painful pleasure as Remus sunk his still-human teeth into the scarred nook between his neck and shoulder. Blood welled instantly in Remus’ mouth and Sirius groaned as he hit his peak. He climaxed so hard that it caused stars in his vision and he heard Remus growl in his ear as he collapsed on top of him. Hot, sticky arousal splashed between them and Sirius chuckled as it coated his chest hair. Finally, Remus’ breathing slowed and he whimpered softly in Sirius’ ear as he removed his teeth from his skin.“Oh… Oh my God, Sirius… I… I’m so, so sorry! I hurt you! You’re bleeding… I-It’s in my mouth! I…”“I’m fine. I kind of like it now- weirdly enough,” Sirius replied as he leaned back and looked at the man he loved. Most of the wild was gone from Remus’ eyes and he seemed more like himself than he had in days. Sirius kissed him on the forehead then carefully removed his waning length from his beloved and tried to help him to his feet. Remus, weak from both the lovemaking and the lycanthropy, shakily slid to the floor instead.“I c-can’t…” he whispered and then, more ashamed, added, “I don’t have the strength.”“It’s okay, love… just hold on.” Sirius pulled up his pants then stood protectively in front of Remus so that he was shielded mostly from sight. “Kreacher!” With a whooshing sound that made the bacon grease on the stove pop, a gangly, wrinkly, ugly old house elf appeared a few feet away from Sirius. It had a disgusted expression on its face and wouldn’t look him in the eye.“Yes, master?”“Bring me my wand please.”“Yes, master.” Kreacher hurried off up the stairs and came back down a few moments later with a long piece of wood with delicate carvings along the sides. He handed it to Sirius then backed away again as the Animagus waved it over Remus. Instantly, the professor was cleaned and clothed. Then, Sirius flicked it at his chest and he too was clean again. He tilted his head to Kreacher. “Finish breakfast for us, will you? I’m going to help Remus to the bath.”“Yes, master. Kreacher lives to serve the noble house of Black…” the house elf said dryly as he grabbed a chair and headed over to the stove to finish the meal that Remus started. With a chuckle of satisfaction at Kreacher’s disgust, Sirius helped Remus to his feet and shakily began to lead him up the stairs. “Filthy halfbreed disgracing my home! How dare you bring that kind of sin into my house, Sirius? My own house?!” As they passed by the covered portrait of Walburga Black, it screamed out at them and Sirius rolled his eyes.“It’s my house now, mother! And you better get used to the kind of sin I bring into it- or I’ll fuck him on your bed and keep the door open!” he called over his shoulder as they entered the master shower with Walburga screaming obscenities at them as he closed the door.“You shouldn’t t-tease her that way,” Remus warned as Sirius flicked his wand and his clothes fell away. His lover eased him into the jade clawfoot tub and tapped his wand against the porcelain edge. Instantly, the bath filled with perfectly warm water that smelled of calming lavender and rich herbs that Remus couldn’t quite identify. He leaned his head against the edge of the tub and watched Sirius with adoring eyes as his beloved moved his wand in a circular motion and the water stirred and bubbled. He cast the bit of reed aside and dipped his hands into the water. He cupped pools of it in his palms and splashed it over Remus’ chest and ran his fingers in gentle circles to soothe him.“Don’t think about her. Or Kreacher. Or anything right now, okay? Just me.” Sirius began to lather some of the soapy water into Remus’ hair and he closed his eyes to enjoy the feeling. “Is this nice, Moon? Does it help?”“More than you know,” replied the lycan as he felt Sirius’ lips graze his own. Remus opened his eyes just a bit as Sirius went back to scrubbing his chest. He watched him with tears forming on his lashes. This man… who had endured over a decade alone in Azkaban… with scars a plenty and tales of Dementors, who was plagued by nightmares and couldn’t hide from the ghosts in his reflection… this man… loves me. Entirely. Completely. Ferociously. Then a tear rolled down his cheek and Sirius noticed it.“My Moon, are you okay? Are you hurting? Why are you crying..?”“Just love you- is all.”“I love you too. So much.” Sirius finished cleaning off Remus and then took his wand up again. He tapped it against the side of the tub and the water drained instantly. Remus was dry and clothed once more. He needed less assistance this time as Sirius helped him from the tub and the two of them headed down the corridor- hand in hand. Walburga said nothing this time as they passed. Once back downstairs, Kreacher had prepared two plates of a delicious breakfast for them: bacon, sausage, egg, black pudding, tomatoes, mushrooms, and toast with butter. Sirius’ eggs were a bit charred- just how he liked them.“Well done, Kreacher!” Sirius praised as he helped Remus into his seat then laid down his wand. “Would you be so kind as to take some of the extra sausage out to Buckbeak? And feel free to take some scraps for yourself.”“Of course, Master.” Kreacher grabbed an extra plate, gathered up a fair amount of eggs and black pudding, then headed off to find the hippogriff, mumbling under his breath about something as he did. When he was gone, Remus and Sirius broke into a laughing fit as Sirius took another sip of his now-cold tea and Remus shoveled in a mouthful of the food.“So... do you think he heard us then?” Sirius teased and Remus almost spat out his eggs.“I think that the oafs at the Ministry heard us.”“Ah. Good. About time they at least halfway witnessed a proper fucking. Probably haven’t been exposed to one since the last millennium.” Remus shook his head and took a sip of his tea just as Kreacher came back inside. He again approached Sirius without looking him in the eye and handed him a letter.“Just came in with a white owl, Master.”“Thank you, Kreacher,” Sirius replied as he swallowed down a bite of tomato.“A white owl? Hedwig?” Remus asked as Sirius opened the letter and read it once. Then twice. The grim look on his face made Remus’ stomach turn. “Padfoot?”“Take your Wolfsbane. Something has happened.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Sirius stared into his black coffee, nervously shaking his knee as Remus paced around the room. They’d just finished a conversation with Harry via the fireplace and what they learned was nothing good. Harry’s name had ended up in the Goblet of Fire (somehow) and now he was officially a competing Tri-Wizard champion. Karkaroff, the head of Durmstrang and a former Death Eater, was just parading around Hogwarts… within touching distance of Harry. Oh, Harry…“His scar is hurting for a reason, Moony, I'm telling you. It's a horrible coincidence, isn’t it, that it would be acting up all of a sudden and then Karkaroff shows his big ugly mug at Hogwarts? I can feel it in my bones, Remus… something’s horribly amiss. I should go to Harry.”“I can keep an eye on him,” Remus rebutted with a shake of his head. “I’m a professor at the school, remember? It won’t be suspicious if I’m seen with him- especially since everyone knows he was a special case of mine in his third year.”“I need to see him,” Sirius pleaded as he took his lover’s hand to still his pacing and grab his attention. “Remus, I sneak onto the grounds constantly to be with you…”“Be that as it may, my love, nobody cares about me,” Remus countered as he leveled down on his heels to face the man he adored. He held Sirius’ steady gaze. “But he’s Harry Potter. If you go poking around the Gryffindor common room again, it will raise suspicions. Like you said- Karkaroff is sulking around the castle. And Severus knows what your Animagus form looks like...”“Okay, so not the common room… what about Hogsmeade? Plenty of stray dogs around there- I’ll blend right in.”“Sirius…”“You and Harry are all that matter to me,” Sirius told Remus in a level voice. He lifted the lycan’s hands to his mouth and kissed his calloused knuckles. “Please support me on this, Remus.” The professor sighed. Once his beloved had made up his mind on something… he knew there was often little to do to change it.“Just... let me do a bit of light digging around on my own first, okay?... And then we can go from there. Poke your head about if you must… just be careful. And don’t ask me to like it.” ***

The following day, Sirius accompanied Remus to work. As per usual, he walked alongside his lover as long as he dared but departed when one of the Ravenclaw students commented on professor Lupin’s "pretty dog." He gave the man’s hand an affectionate nuzzle then turned away and headed off into the forest. Sirius made a bit of a trek to a cave dug into one of the mountainside clefts where Buckbeak was waiting for him. This was the typical location they left the hippogriff when Remus went to Hogwarts. Unlike most professors, he didn’t live at the castle when school was in session. He never stayed in his sleeping quarters for more than a few days at a time before returning to Grimmauld Place. Remus was a restless sleeper and prone to nightmares of brutal transformations from man to beast. He also had grown accustomed to Sirius’ company and could only have that safely in the confines of their home. Home… the word felt strange humming around in Sirius’ mind. But it wasn’t the manor he’d grown up in that wandered into the forefront of his brain. It was Remus Lupin’s arms.

He shifted from dog to man and greeted Buckbeak with a smile and a pat between the eyes. “Hello my friend,” he said warmly as he settled down beside the creature and tried to decide if they should head back to London or make their way over to the Shrieking Shack to wait out the day. However, his scattered thoughts wouldn't focus and he ended up thinking about Harry and the tournament again. He exhaled all the air in his lungs in frustration. “Something isn’t right, Buckbeak… I know it isn’t. I need to speak with Albus…” he tilted his head to the side, his gray eyes darkening a bit with thought. And then he remembered he had a friend on the inside of Hogwarts. Just as a plan was forming inside his mind, a rat scurried across the floor of the cave and Buckbeak made short work of it. Too bad it isn’t Peter…

“I’ll be back. Stay here… help yourself to the vermin.” Shifting from man to dog, Sirius headed back out into the forest and began to make his way toward the Shrieking Shack. He kept a low profile the entire journey and made surprisingly good time to the eerie, abandoned dwelling. Once through the tunnel, he peeked out from the hole under the Whomping Willow’s branches and found Hogwarts breathtaking and bathed in dusk colors of red and pink. He carefully picked his way around the castle and found a less than active entrance to take. Clinging to the shadows, he snuck his way closer to the Gryffindor common room.

“… For the last time, Harry, I told you I don’t know how to help you with the dragons…” Sirius flattened himself against a wall when he heard Remus talking to their godson in a hushed, urgent voice. “I will keep researching as I promised.” Sirius watched the professor place his scarred hands on Harry’s face. He lifted the boy’s head and looked into those soft green eyes. “Please don’t give up.”

“But Remus... I’m scared,” Harry told the professor in a small voice that made Sirius’ heart ache in his chest. “Did Sirius have any advice for me?”

“Shh!” Remus looked around frantically then held Harry’s gaze again. “Don’t speak his name so openly here.”

“Don’t you get tired of it?” Harry countered gently. “Having to say the name of the man you love in whispers?”

“I hate it more than you know,” Remus replied as he gently brushed his thumbs across Harry’s cheeks. He dropped his hands from his godson’s face and sighed. “Things will change soon, Harry, and he’ll be truly free. And then we can all really be together as a family. I promise.”

“If I live to see the day,” Harry groaned as he leaned his head against the professor’s shoulder. “What am I going to do, Remus?”

“Well… the first task is tomorrow. I’d say the best thing for you right now is a good night of sleep.” Remus kissed the top of Harry’s head. “I’ll be in the stands watching. It’ll be fine. You’ll see.”

“I wish Si…” Harry paused. “Snuffles could be there.”

“He may be. I don’t think he’d miss it for the world.” Remus gave Harry a hug that made Sirius feel just the smallest twinge of jealousy. He longed to step from the shadows and take his godson in his arms. But he sufficed to watch his beloved do it for him. Then the two departed and Sirius watched both of them go with tears in his eyes. It just further drove in his desire to help as he slunk deeper into the castle. And then he caught sight of a fluffy orange tail- just the creature he’d been looking for.

“Crookshanks!” he hissed and immediately the cat came to him. Eyes wide, the tom greeted his old friend with a headbutt to the leg.

“What are you doing here, Padfoot?! Have you gone barking mad! Does Remus know you’re…”

“No, and we’re going to keep it that way,” Sirius replied shortly with a sharp flash of his teeth. “I need you to do a favor for me, if you will.”

“Always a favor,” groaned the half-Kneazle. “I’m not going to be chasing after another old friend of yours am I?”

“Nothing like that,” Sirius replied calmly as he lowered his head so he was very close to Crookshanks’ ear. “Can you get a message to Dumbledore? Tell him that I’ll be at the cave where we leave Buckbeak… I need to talk to him about something rather urgent. As soon as possible- perhaps tomorrow after the first Tri-Wizard task.”

“Don’t feel like you could make it to the headmaster’s office yourself?” Crookshanks teased, but Sirius wasn't much in a playful mood.

“I almost ran into Remus just now- no, I don’t think I can make it to see Albus without being caught. The extra eyes from Beauxbatons and Durmstrang don’t help. Will you do this for me, my friend?”

“I suppose,” Crookshanks replied with a yawn. “But the next time you’re… you… you owe me a bowl of fresh cream.”

“I’ll milk the cow myself,” Sirius replied thankfully as he turned on his paws and headed back into the shadows of the castle, his heart racing in his chest as he padded quickly back toward where he’d entered and into the night. *** Albus came to see Sirius before the first event took place. They walked side by side to the arena and departed just before it having reached an agreement. Sirius threw up twice during the dragon matches. Once when Cedric had dragon fire close enough to him to singe the ends of his hair. The other when Harry nearly got broiled alive by the Hungarian Horntail. He whooped so loud in victory when Harry snatched the egg from its roost that he was certain someone heard him, and he bolted back into the shadows to avoid prying eyes. More than anything he longed to be seated next to Remus during the events, grasping his hand with worry and crying out in rapture. He just wanted to see Harry in the halls after the event and congratulate him with a slap on the back and a hug. But for now... this will have to do. With his heart rather heavy, Sirius sulked the entire way back to the cave at a slow pace- brooding over the inability to be with his godson and lover as he wished. By the time he made it to the hiding place, he was aware instantly that he wasn’t alone.

“You asked Dumbledore if you could stay here?!” Remus was on him before he even made it all the way into the cave. “Throughout the entire tournament! You weren’t going to discuss this with me before you made the decision?”

“Albus got to you before I could, I see... I suppose he thought the information was harmless enough- and I am a fool for forgetting to tell him to keep it between us... But come now, Moon, you won’t be glad to have me closer to you all the time?” Sirius asked rather innocently as he shifted from dog to man. His eyes were soft as he closed the space between them and gently took Remus’ hands in his own. “I can’t stand the thought of being in London during all of this. Away from you- away from Harry. And I know you’ll want to stay at the school to be closer to him while the tournament is in effect. I can’t be away from you that long, Remus… I’ll go mad at Grimmauld Place by myself…”

“You deliberately disobeyed me.”

“I… did not. You asked me to let you dig around a bit and I’ll continue to do that. You said I could poke about and that’s what I’m doing.” Buckbeak nuzzled Sirius' shoulder and the former prisoner gently pushed him away. “Remus… please don’t be cross with me.”

“Sirius, I worry that you’re overstepping too soon. You shouldn’t even be back in Britain yet, and you’ve been at Grimmauld Place for months. Now you’re trying to stay within walking distance to Hogwarts… you’re still one of the most wanted men in the wizarding world…”

“You don’t have to remind me, honey, I know that…”

“Why are you being so reckless?”

“Because I’m worried about Harry! Because I’m worried about you and being away from you while you’re here watching him. Because I know myself and this year will see me terribly lonely and going stir crazy, Moony! Please… Dumbledore is going to protect me while I'm here. It’ll just be until the tourney has ended and then I promise, I’ll fall right back into line and go home.”

“No you won’t,” Remus sighed after a moment. He didn’t pull away from Sirius, but he avoided his gaze. “You’ve never fallen into line a single moment in your life, Sirius Black. I don’t intend to be fooled into believing you’ll start doing so now.” Sirius leaned in and gave his beloved a kiss. Remus let him. “I’m still upset at you.”

“That’s okay.” Sirius offered a small smile. “You’re cute when you’re angry- do you know that?”

“Well, that’s exactly what a man wants to hear. I’m a vicious, flesh-eating monster- you should be terrified of me.”

“You’re my vicious, flesh-eating monster.” Sirius gave him another kiss and Remus smiled at him in spite of himself. “So… give me the details since you're here. I left after Harry grabbed the egg. Do we know what the next task is yet?”

“No idea. He opened it in the Gryffindor common room but apparently it was just hellish screeching. It would seem though that our dearest Ronald Weasley and Harry have made their amends. Hermione told me they patched their argument and are splendidly back to normal.”

“Oh, that’s good news!” Sirius replied happily as he released Remus’ hands and headed over to the cave back. He watched Buckbeak trot out of the hollow and patted the place beside him on the stone. Remus rolled his eyes but took a seat next to him. “I was worried there for a second.”

“Not like the four of us didn’t have our little tiffs.”

“Don’t include Peter. He doesn’t deserve to be remembered as anything more than he is right now,” Sirius grumbled as Remus fidgeted with something in the suitcase he'd brought with him. He handed his lover a sandwich and then pulled one for himself. “You came here to chew my head off and still packed me lunch?”

“Well… yes. I still love you even when you piss me off.”

“How’d you get here so fast anyway?” Sirius asked as he bit into the sandwich. Ah, liverwurst on rye. My favorite. “I had at least half an hour head start on you.”

“Long legs… and you walk slow when you’re sulking.”

“Mm…” Sirius took another bite and chuckled when Remus handed him a cup of water from the suitcase. “Your magic never ceases to impress me, you know.”

“The suitcase fits in my pocket too. It shrinks down,” Remus replied with a flush of color to his cheeks. “Old trick that comes in handy when you need it. Extension charms are a clever thing. I can pack my entire life into this case and fold it down to fit in my palm… makes for easy travel. Helped because I used to move around so much.”

“Do you have a blanket in there by chance?” Sirius asked as he finished off his sandwich and washed it down with a drink. “Or pillows?”

“Maybe. I have a lot of stuff in here from before we got together- when I was crashing on benches and the occasional sofa of a friend. Why?”

“So I can be comfortable while I’m here,” Sirius replied as he drank the last of his water. He glanced at Remus and offered that devilish smile. “And having something I can fuck you on makes anyplace feel like home.” Remus nearly spat out his drink.

“Sirius!”

“What?!” Sirius lifted his hands innocently. “Just being honest, love. Seeing you so protective of me got me a little hot under the collar.”

“Fiend,” Remus teased but he couldn’t hide the flush in his cheeks. “We have too much going on right now for that. I need to try and help Harry figure out what this next task is. And I’ve got to keep an eye on Karkaroff.”

“I could be here for months, Moony, and you’re going to deny me of my bliss the entire time?” Sirius raised an eyebrow at him. “Not even a scrap?”

“Sirius… this is a cave.”

“Our first time was in the forest. I don’t remember you complaining much then.” Remus’ face filled with more color until his cheeks were nearly strawberry pink. He began to fiddle with the undersides of his nails. Sirius inched closer to his lover until they were touching. He leaned over and kissed the side of Remus’ neck which caused gooseflesh to prickle across his alabaster skin. He brushed his fingers across the professor’s lips then grasped his chin and turned his head. Sirius kissed Remus with a gentle fire, claiming him tenderly as he ran the hand from his face into his gray-peppered hair. Remus melted for him instantly, leaning into the kiss as he pulled himself onto Sirius’ lap. Already the former prisoner was hard and heavy against his thigh and the pressure made Remus’ mouth water.

“Fiend,” Sirius teased when Remus sought his tongue. He chuckled and leaned his forehead against Black’s own. Sirius held his lover’s gaze. “Do you have anything on your agenda for the rest of the day?”

“One of my students has asked for a bit of help with her assignment. She’s struggling some with the spells she’s working on. I’m going to give her an extra session.”

“Always such a kind, devoted teacher,” Sirius nearly purred. He gave Remus a gentle kiss. “Will it be dark by the time it’s over?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll come see you then.”

“No, don’t…” Remus gave Sirius a stern look and the Animagus knew not to argue. “Keep my suitcase. Set up the cave as you like and I’ll come back to you. You’ve been around the castle too much the last couple of days.” Sirius froze when Remus raised an eyebrow at him. “Yes, I know about your little adventure to see Crookshanks. Why do you think Harry and I were in that part of the corridor exactly the same time as you? I’ve taken back temporary possession of our old map, my love. So if you’re planning on doing anything foolish… I will know.”

“Brilliant mind you have,” Sirius chuckled with a smile. He kissed Remus once more. “Go teach your student then. I’ll be here waiting for you when you’re finished.” *** Sirius was amazed by the amount of items inside the extended suitcase. He managed to find a plushy blanket, three pillows, a handful of candles, some miscellaneous dishes, an adorable puppy stuffed animal, and a robe. At some point after he’d made the cave less cave-like, he shifted from Sirius to Padfoot and headed out into the forest to hunt with Buckbeak. They had a feast together among the trees- dining happily on a meal of rats, bats, and a very unlucky squirrel. After supper, Sirius gave his teeth a good brush and waited eagerly for his lover to come to him. When Remus entered the cave, the former prisoner greeted him warmly with a hug and a kiss.

“Where’s our beloved hippogriff at?” Remus asked lightly as Sirius started to unbutton his shirt. “I didn’t see him on the way up.”

“Chasing bats, I think. I told him we’d need to stock up for the next few months and he saw it as a challenge.”

“Bats?” Remus crinkled his nose as Sirius kissed the side of his neck. “I can bring you food, you know…”

“You won’t be able to make it here every day- it’ll be too suspicious…” Sirius watched Remus remove his shirt with the same awestruck expression as the first time he'd seen his dazzling ashen chest in the hazy light of the moon. “But anyway… how was the lesson? Did she get the enrichment she needed?”

“I couldn’t focus much,” Remus admitted sheepishly as he caught Sirius staring at him. “We got accio and stupefy down… but I will say I wasn’t good for much else this evening.”

“Distracted, were you?” Sirius took a step forward and began to work the buttons of his own shirt. “Was your mind lost elsewhere, Professor Lupin?”

“Mm… perhaps.” Sirius closed the space between them and claimed Remus’ mouth with an eager kiss. Carefully, he pulled his lover down onto the little nest he’d made on the floor with the blankets and pillows. Remus groaned when Sirius took his usual place over top of him and started kissing down his body. “I… I like what you did with the cave. It’s almost cozy.”

“It’ll do for now,” Sirius replied in a breathy voice as he traced his tongue through the thin line of hair that ran downward from Remus’ naval. The lycan sucked in a hard breath when Sirius kissed the outline of the erection that was pushing against the crest of his pants. He watched, nearly helpless and with his heart pounding, as Sirius pulled his trousers down and nestled comfortably between his knees. Remus looked away as Sirius glanced up at him and the former prisoner made a soft tsking sound at him. “How come you never watch me, Moony?... I love to look down and see your mouth full of me.” Sirius’ face lit with amusement as Remus’ body prickled with gooseflesh. He gave his throbbing length another kiss and Remus shuddered.

“It… uhm… I don’t know… it… makes me nervous, I guess…”

“Why?” Sirius ran a long, lavish lick across Remus’ heat- from the base to the tip. “Do I not do a good job?”

“Don’t be daft, Padfoot- you know you’re wonderful at it…” Remus gasped when Sirius took him in his mouth and wasted no time in pushing it as far back as he could. Remus’ length tipped at the back of Sirius’ throat and pressed hard against the delicate, sensitive flesh there. The professor bit his lip and placed both hands on the back of his lover’s head as he began to bob up and down. Soft, sultry noises echoed around the cave and it set Remus’ skin on fire. He could hear Sirius groaning around him and every so often he’d gag from the force but never let up. Remus risked a glance down at him and saw his beloved’s eyes were closed and his brow was set hard in concentration. Sirius looks beautiful like this. With those dark curls framing his face and his mouth completely full... Remus felt chills race up his spine when Sirius leaned his head against his thigh and lapped lovingly along the side of his length. Then Sirius opened his eyes and caught Remus staring at him and offered a sloppy, glistening smile. Remus averted his gaze but Sirius pricked his teeth against his sensitive flesh and the professor looked at him again. Sirius pulled his mouth away with a satisfying 'pop' and licked the wetness from his lips.

“I want you to watch me.”

“S-Sirius…”

“Please, Moony. I want to watch your face as I make you cum…” then Sirius took Remus into his mouth again and the fire of his tongue threatened to burn. Against the insecurities dancing around inside his head, Remus pulled his hands back and braced himself up on his elbows. He shifted his legs to give Sirius better access to him and the former prisoner locked his arms around Remus’ hips and increased his speed. Remus felt pleasure beyond intense creeping in from every corner of his body and he lolled his head back in euphoria before forcing himself to watch again. Sirius’ face was red with effort, and he had sweat beading his brow. Every lift and drop of his head pulled increasingly guttural groans from his throat and bathed his handsome, rugged face in a new layer of wetness that glistened in the candlelight.

“Sirius, I’m… really close…” Remus’ heart was pounding in his chest as he felt color fill his face again. Sirius chuckled and gave a small nod of his head. He already knows that. Remus wanted desperately to look away as Sirius’ gray eyes seared into him. He felt shame prickling at his skin. He was nothing beautiful or wonderful to admire. And to know that this wild, crazy, insatiable man was just watching him as he climbed closer and closer to his peak?... Remus closed his eyes and turned his head away. Sirius stopped and removed his mouth again.

“Moony…” Sirius kissed his way up his lover’s body. Remus slid down onto his back, taking the pressure off his elbows as he did. He opened his eyes that were rimming with tears and swallowed hard. “Honey, what is it?”

“I… don’t deserve you. Or this. Or the way you look at me. It... it just... makes me feel so ashamed.”

“You better start trying to get over that. Because I have always looked at you like this, Remus John. And I always will. For as long as there is sight in my eyes…” Sirius placed a warm, damp kiss on Remus’ lips and then sat back on his heels and began to unfasten his trousers. Remus watched him with watery eyes as every inch of scarred, exposed skin was suddenly open in the candlelight. The professor let himself be guided into a sitting position with his back braced against the pillows. His heart leapt nearly into his throat when Sirius took a seat on his lap and straddled him. Sirius held either side of Remus’ face and kept their eye contact as he slid the lycan’s throbbing, soaking heat inside of him. Sirius made a soft hissing sound as Remus pushed in deep and he claimed his lover’s mouth with a kiss.

“Oh my God, Sirius…”

“Still close?” the rugged man whispered as he rocked his hips back and forth gently. “Yeah… of course you are. It won’t take long will it?” Remus could barely breathe- let alone try to answer. He wrapped his arms around Sirius and gripped him by the hip and shoulder. Every time Remus closed his eyes or tried to look away, Sirius would stop moving until the professor made eye contact with him again. Eventually, for the sake of his own desire, he stopped resisting. He’d never made love to Sirius like this before. Facing one-other, tangled in each-other’s legs and arms- nearly every part of their bodies touching.

Sirius' coarse black chest hair rubbed against his bare, scarred sternum and the friction made him tremble. And then Sirius kissed him. His beloved smelled of wild earth and wind and his tongue tasted like temptation. Sirius held Remus with a desperate force, his hands shifting from his lover’s face to his hair, clutching desperately at the graying strands. Sirius was right- of course- it didn’t take long. Remus’ breathing became jagged and he had to break the kiss to gasp for air. He tried to tuck his head into Sirius’ shoulder- but his beloved didn’t let him. He gripped Remus’ hair so tightly that his fingernails grazed the lycan’s scalp. Again, the power of Sirius’ hands sent chills up Remus’ spine. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to how strong he is… He held the former prisoner’s gaze. Sirius smiled at him- that dangerous, intoxicating, breathtaking smile. He could feel Remus’ desperation. He was hard and aching inside of him and it was driving Sirius mad with desire. The lycan was so deep it was nearly painful but the pleasure outweighed the discomfort a thousand times over. Sirius released the hold on his lover’s hair, brushed his thumbs over Remus’ lips, and kissed him once more.

“Does my pretty boy want to cum?”

“I…” Remus knew there was no use in trying to deny it or resist it. He felt pesky tears glossing his eyes again as Sirius took hold of his head again to hold him steady. “Y-Yes.”

“Are you my pretty boy?” Remus tried to turn his head away from the question, but his skull didn’t so much as twitch in Sirius’ grasp. He swallowed hard.

“Y-Yes.” Remus nearly tore a hole through his own lip when Sirius began to rock his hips a little faster. Stars littered the corners of his vision but still Sirius held him.

“Yes- what?”

“Yes… I’m y-your pretty boy.”

“Good puppy,” Sirius praised as he tilted Remus’ head up and kissed him again. The embrace was passionate and filled with fire. He released the professor’s head at last and coiled his arms around him, digging his fingernails into the sensitive flesh on his shoulder blades. Remus shivered at the feeling of Sirius’ tongue against his own and the heat from his praise. It took less than a heartbeat for the pleasure to spill over and Remus tried to break the kiss for breath, but Sirius wouldn’t let him. Not until he wanted to.

“That’s it,” Sirius growled in his ear in that sultry, gravely, velvety voice that brought chills up Remus’ spine. “Yes, Moon. Good boy… just like that.”

“S-Sirius…” Remus whimpered as the man nipped at his earlobe. Sirius rode out Remus’ climax until there was nothing left and he was achingly empty. Remus leaned back against the pillows, his chest heaving and body trembling. Sirius laid down with him, gently nuzzled under his chin. They stayed that way for some time until the former prisoner eventually broke their connection and pulled himself off his lover with a small wince. Remus watched his darling, shaking and bare, as he dug around in the suitcase and pulled out another cup of water. Sirius watched Remus as he sipped from it.

“You’re beautiful when you cum, Remus,” he told him and the lycan could have died from embarrassment. He motioned for the cup and Sirius handed it to him. “Your eyes sparkle when you start. It’s breathtaking.”

“Did you finish?” Remus asked, desperately changing the subject as he slowly rolled into a sitting position. “I don’t feel like you did.”

“I don’t need to. Not every time. Sometimes it’s just about the journey and not the destination, hm?” Sirius scooted back over toward his lover and leaned on him, his back against Remus’ chest. He slid his fingers into the professor’s own and looked up at him dreamily. “I love you; you know.”

“I love you too,” Remus replied as he swallowed down another sip of water. He kissed Sirius on the forehead. Whatever he was about to say next was interrupted by the sudden pattering of paws on stone. Remus managed to cover himself with a pillow just as Crookshanks came into view in the candlelight.

“Well… that was gross,” the orange tom greeted with a sick look on his face. “I could hear you from halfway across the glen.”

“But not at the castle?” Sirius asked as he took the cup for a drink. Crookshanks shook his head and he rolled his shoulders. “Then that’s all that matters.”

“… right. Anyway. I’ve come here to relay some information to you.”

“Is Harry okay?” Remus asked immediately and the cat nodded.

“It isn’t about him- for once. It’s about something I overheard that I wanted to share with you. Now, take it with a grain of salt… but someone has been stealing ingredients from Snape’s personal supplies to make Polyjuice Potion.”

“Polyjuice Potion?” Sirius echoed with an odd look on his face. “Why would someone need that?”

“I don’t know- that's why I figured I’d tell you. I went looking for Remus to pick his brain over it, but he was already gone… so I followed his tracks here.” The cat gave his paw a long lick then peered curiously at the open suitcase before looking back at Sirius Black. “Since you’re you again- don’t forget… you owe me fresh cream. Straight from the cow.”

“Do you have any of that in your suitcase?” Sirius asked Remus with a playfully genuine tone to his voice. Simultaneously, both men just laughed while Crookshanks rolled his eyes.

"I'll take that as a no."

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The following months carried on in both a blur and as if time stood still. Sirius kept constant tabs on Remus and Harry from the cave- occasionally going with his lover back to Grimmauld Place to shower, shave, or just have some time among civilization (or almost civilization- Walburga Black and Kreacher don't necessarily count as proper company). Crookshanks continued to report shady activity around the castle... which included even more of Snape’s potion pantry being raided. But there was no time to worry about such things today. No, there are far more pressing matters to be stressed over...

It was the morning of the second task and Sirius had woken early to prepare for the events of the day. As Padfoot, he watched nervously from the forest as Harry dropped into the water with Gillyweed at the back of his throat. When his godson resurfaced some time later with two of the captive loved ones of the champions under his arm, Sirius once again vomited the contents of his stomach. He stayed around long enough to hear Harry be rewarded second place for “outstanding moral fiber” and then headed back to the cave to recover... and perhaps to drink a bit of his nerves away.

A few days later, Padfoot headed into Hogsmeade to meet up with some of his favorite people. He guided Hermione, Harry, and Ron to the cave where he’d been staying and- much to his delight- Remus was there waiting for him. He shifted from beast to man and embraced his beloved with a gentle kiss.

“Hello, gorgeous.”

“Hello yourself,” the professor replied with a smile, but their peaceful reunion was short-lived.

“Sirius… have you been staying here?” Hermione asked in her usually inquisitive voice. “There’s a bed and Buckbeak is here… and there’s a lot of rat skeletons…”

“You’ll have to pardon the manners of my hippogriff,” Sirius replied as he took a seat on the bedding that he’d finished cleaning only a few hours prior and motioned for his companions to sit. “Not much of a proper house mate.” Once everyone was settled, the Animagus cleared his throat and thankfully took a sandwich and glass of water from Remus. “But let’s not worry about that now. Tell me what’s going on. And don’t spare any details- I’ve been living on scraps of information from Remus and Crookshanks since November.”

“I feel like we don’t have much more to tell you than what you already know,” Harry said to his godfather with a peculiar look on his face. “… can I please ask you why you’re living in a cave and not at your family’s home? What are you doing here?”

“Because I wanted to be within walking distance if you needed me,” Sirius replied shortly as he took another bite of his lunch. “I’m just doing my duty as your godfather.”

“Trust me, Harry- I’ve been trying for weeks to get him to just come back to the manor, but he won’t have it. He’s more on edge than a mandrake out of soil,” Remus told the champion with a shake of his head. He then watched with a bit of amusement on his face as Harry opened up his bag and handed Sirius a plethora of food- including a large amount of chicken- which his beloved took quite happily. “He made up his mind to stay put after we talked about your first task through the fireplace. But don’t worry. I’ve been keeping an eye on him, and he has Dumbledore’s protection.”

“At least there’s that,” Ron agreed in his usual attempt to stay optimistic. “And honestly, for it be a cave it really is quite cozy.”

“See, at least someone sees my vision,” Sirius replied with a chuckle as he washed down his sandwich with a giant gulp of water then eagerly tore into a drumstick. “Now can we please get back on topic? What’s new?” Harry picked up one of Sirius’ copies of The Daily Prophet as Hermione and Ron selected different issues to inspect. They read the words carefully before formulating their replies.

“My brother works for Crouch,” Ron told Sirius thoughtfully. “Says he’s looking dreadful as of late. Workload is too heavy.”

“He did look like he’d been boxing with Hagrid the last time I saw him,” Harry pointed out as he thumbed to another page of the paper. “I’m sure he’s dealing with a lot more stress since he got rid of Winky.”

“Winky?” Remus echoed as he sipped on a cup of tea. “Who’s Winky?”

“She was Crouch’s house elf,” Hermione replied hotly. “He let her go after what happened at the Quidditch World Cup. Honestly, the absolute nerve of it all...”

“Elaborate?” Sirius inquired as he stopped gnawing on his chicken and left the drumstick suspended between his fingers. “You’ve piqued my interest.” The trio then took turns eagerly relaying the entire story to Remus and Sirus from start to finish. They began with how Arthur took them to see their favorite sport. They quickly rolled into Winky holding space for her master, but he never showed to take his seat. Harry rambled quickly through the bit about the Dark Mark symbol in the sky and finished up with Crouch’s rage when he saw Winky holding Harry’s wand. Once the three of them were finished, both Sirus and Remus just stared at them with unsettling looks on their faces. Buckbeak, ever the opportunist, leaned in and snatched what was left of the chicken drumstick from Sirius’ hands and crunched happily on the bones.

“Sirius?...”

“This just keeps getting more and more sticky,” the Animagus replied as he wiped the grease from the chicken on his pants and shook his head in thought. He measured his next words very carefully as the three put aside their newspapers. “Harry… Barty Crouch is a powerful man. He sent me to Azkaban without a trial and even threw his son in there for good measure. If he’s slipping up now- it means there’s something major going on.”

“He did what?” Ron echoed and Remus nodded.

“After You-Know-Who rose to power last time, it was nearly impossible to decide who was friend and who was foe. Not to mention just about anyone could say they were only following him out of fear or under the influence of the Imperius Curse. So, when Barty Crouch Junior got wrapped up in some not-so-good dramatics… he was sent to Azkaban. His father carried the sentence himself.”

“Came in shortly after I arrived, if I remember correctly,” Sirius added in that low voice that always crept in when he talked about his days in Azkaban. “Poor scrap of a kid. He wasn’t very old, maybe in his early twenties or so. He died not too long after…” Sirius’ eyes downcast as chills littered his arms. He could almost feel the cold walls closing in on him and hear the echoed sounds of screaming... and weeping…

“Padfoot, come back to us.” Remus gently placed his hand on Sirius’ shoulder and the warm touch from the man he loved pulled the former prisoner back into reality. He blinked the welling tears out of his eyes and nodded thankfully. He noticed the three teenagers were looking at him with concern pooling in their eyes and he offered them a small smile.

“Sorry… it sneaks up on me sometimes.” He shook his head, as if to rid himself of the cobwebs of memories. “But anyway… It just all seems too odd to me. Karkaroff being on the grounds, the tournament, your name being in the Goblet of Fire, Crouch snooping around…”

“Snape accusing Harry of stealing from his supply closet,” Ron added and Sirius shot his godson a look that could have peeled paint off of walls.

“Snivellus did what?”

“I really wish you wouldn’t call him that…” Remus tried to interject but Sirius seemed far too interested in the answer to his question to acknowledge the comment.

“Today, before we headed to Hogsmeade, Snape cornered me and accused me of stealing something from his personal pantry of potion supplies. He threatened to use a truth-telling serum on me if it happened again.”

“What was it, Harry, that he said he was missing?” Remus asked, now intrigued as well.

“Oh, well…” Harry scrunched up his nose as he tried to recall. “He said… he said…”

“Honestly, it was only an hour ago,” Hermione groaned with a roll of her eyes. “Gillyweed- which we can explain- and Boomslang skin.”

“Boomslang skin?” Remus echoed as he and Sirius exchanged glances. That’s an ingredient in Polyjuice Potion… exactly what Crookshanks keeps telling us. For the next few minutes, everyone sat in silence- just staring at each other. Finally, Remus clapped his hands together. “It’s late now, Sirius. I need to get the kids back to the school.”

“I’ll walk with you,” Sirius replied, and before anyone had time to protest, he shifted from man to dog. He wagged his tail good-naturedly as he began to pick his way to the front of the cave. Remus watched him with worried eyes as Buckbeak stole another piece of chicken from the pile. They all got to their feet and began to trek after the former prisoner.

“Ron, before we go,” Remus murmured softly as they exited the cave- amazed to see that Sirius was already several yards ahead of them. “Can you see if your brother will keep an eye on Crouch? I have a feeling he’s a key part of what’s happening here.” When the redhead nodded, Remus clapped him on the shoulder. “Fantastic. Now, let’s catch up with our pet before he beats us to Hogsmeade and robs the rubbish bins of all the scraps.” … Sirius travelled at Harry’s heels all the way to the end of Hogsmeade village. As they got closer to Hogwarts, he stayed by Remus’ side- just under his fingertips. Finally, as the grand castle came into view, he veered off into the foliage after a farewell pat from each of them. But he didn’t go back to the cave. He waited until nightfall when the shadows of the school grew long and then he crept inside. Keeping a low profile, he padded silently through the corridors toward the Potion’s classroom- eager to see if he could pin any of the peculiar events of the last few months on Severus Snape. … Meanwhile, Remus was sitting at the desk in his office reading papers from the day before. He was halfway done grading a report from a Hufflepuff student named Henrietta Clayborne when he noticed something out of the corner of his eye. He spotted uncharted movement on the map and his heart skipped a beat when he saw the name ‘Sirius Black’ drifting through the castle.

“Padfoot!” he growled as he grabbed the map and pushed up from his desk. Henrietta Clayborne’s report lay forgotten, and he left his quill in the inkwell as he headed from the room. He glanced down at the parchment in his hands and saw Sirius was walking away from the Potion’s classroom and seemed to be heading toward the Defense Against the Dark Arts study. With his heart thumping in his chest, Remus took a different corridor than the direct one to cut him off. He folded up the map, tucked it in his pocket, rounded a corner, and ran directly into his darling Sirius- face to muzzle. Sirius’ ears pinned against his head; yellow eyes wide as he took a step back. Remus reached down and grabbed the dog by his scruff. Sirius had to bite back a yelp as he was dragged through the shadows of the castle back to Remus’ classroom. As soon as the door was closed, the professor rounded on him. “I should kill you!” the lycan hissed as Sirius transformed from beast to man with a deeply apologetic look on his face. “Honest to God, Sirius, do you have a fucking death wish?!”

“I just wanted to look around for myself!” Sirius replied through gritted teeth. “I was hoping to catch Sniv…” When Remus eyed him sharply, he changed his phrasing. “Severus doing something suspicious.”

“And did you?”

“No, he wasn’t in his classroom or his supply closet.”

“Well, did you check the Slytherin common room?”

“To be honest, I was thinking about it but then you caught me… and now we’re here… so…”

“Sirius…” angry tears were welling in Remus' eyes as he turned away from the man he loved in frustration. He stood with his back to him and bit his knuckle to try and calm his temper. He was aware of Sirius closing the space between them. His calloused fingers brushed Remus’ hips and the professor took a step forward to separate them. He heard the breath catch in Sirius’ throat and he could nearly feel his panic.

“Moony, please…”

“Are you so eager to ruin the life we’re trying to build together?”

“My moon, it isn’t like that!”

“You’re so reckless.” Remus turned to face him, those angry tears spilling down his face. “It isn’t just your life you gamble with- don’t you realize that? It is mine as well. And Harry’s. It’s our future and our lost time. Do we mean so little to you that our dream is so easily compromised...?”

“Don’t… don’t you ever say that again.” Sirius closed the space between them with a shaky voice and even shakier steps. He reached out, took Remus’ hands in his own, and held them with desperate force. He met the lycan’s hazel eyes and searched the watery depths. He brought Remus’ hand to his mouth and kissed his knuckles. “You and Harry are all that matters to me,” he repeated the statement he said most often besides ‘I love you’. “And I… guess I really hadn’t thought of it as more than my life to play with. You’re right. I’m sorry- I’ve been reckless.” He held Remus’ gaze. “I can’t leave the cave, Moon… I must be nearby if you or Harry need me. At least until the tourney is over.” When Remus went to protest, Sirius held his hands firmer. “Please try to understand…”

“I am nothing if not understanding,” Remus replied gently though the tears still ran. “But Sirius, you scare the hell out of me when you come here. It’s bad enough that you sneak in with me to have lunch sometimes… but then at least you have help. However, right now, you don’t have Crookshanks spotting for you or Harry’s cloak to hide you. This was brazen and careless an-and…”

“Stupid?” Sirius added with a raise of an eyebrow that made Remus chuckle. He rolled his eyes, aggravated that this wild man could make him laugh even when he was mad at him to the point of tears. “It was stupid, Remus… you’re right. I promise I’ll be more careful, okay? And no more sneaking into the castle unless I have precautions.”

“Promise?” Remus echoed and Sirius slid his pinky finger into his own and locked it.

“I promise, Moon.”

“Okay.” Remus felt color fill his cheeks and Sirius cupped his face and brushed away the tears that were again pooling under his bottom lashes. Then Sirius held his chin and kissed him- one of those deep, sweet, sultry kisses. Immediately, Remus felt himself melt. He leaned against the former prisoner’s chest and sighed happily as he drank in the scent of dark earth, wind, and… whatever it is a cozy cave smells like. “Sirius…” Remus whispered as his lover dropped the kisses under his ear and then trailed them down his throat- something that made the lycan’s head swim. He braced his hands on Sirius’ hips to steady himself as the Animagus dragged his teeth along his collarbone.

“Remus.” Sirius’ tone was light and teasing as he moved his hands from Remus’ face and eased them down his body to the beltloops on his pants. He pulled Remus deliciously close and licked from the small of his chest, up his throat, across his Adam’s apple, then finally slid his tongue between his parted lips and into his mouth. Remus’ resolve shattered entirely as Sirius groaned into the kiss and began to gently trace the outline of his pants with fingers that were more delicate than any former prisoners had any right to be. He let himself be guided backward through his office until his spine was against his desk. By now, Remus was nearly panting from the intensity of the kiss and aching from how hard he was as Sirius pulled his belt from its loops. Much to his surprise, Sirius took the belt in his hands and slid it over Remus’ head to settle around his waist. With that deadly, dark, delicious strength that drove the lycan wild- he gripped the belt tightly and fastened Remus into place. Sirius broke the kiss with a soft growl that made the hairs on the back of the professor’s neck stand up. He held eye contact with his lover, his gray eyes wild and beautiful with both desire and that prickle of danger. “I could do whatever I want to you right now, you know,” Sirius whispered to him in that gravely, needy voice and Remus trembled from the grit in his tone as his beloved nipped at his earlobe with his teeth. “You couldn’t grab your wand or try to get away from me if you wanted to. I’ve got you strapped tight.”

“Mm… is that so?” Remus whispered helplessly as he sat back on his desk. Sirius used his own knees to wedge his legs open so he could fit between them- pressing hardened seams against hardened seams. Sirius grinned that dangerous smirk as Remus bit his lip in anticipation. “What would you like to do to me?”

“Make up for my shitty mistake and described recklessness,” Sirius replied curtly as he finally released his hold on the belt and tossed it across the room. “Why don’t you sit down in your chair, professor, and let me apologize.”

“… W-What?”

“You heard me.” Sirius claimed his mouth again with a delectable kiss. He then stepped back so that Remus could obey him. “Now go on. It was a demand- not a suggestion.”

With his head spinning, heart pounding, and body aching, Remus stepped around his desk and sunk into his office chair. Sirius followed him over and slid down to his knees with more grace than a man like him should ever have been able to afford. He wasted little time in unbuttoning Remus’ trousers and pulling his hard, hot, heavy length from behind the strained fabric. He flickered his gaze up and the lycan felt color fill his cheeks again. A plethora of emotions danced around in the professor’s head as Sirius teased him with a lick. This is so stupid… this is such a terrible idea. We really shouldn’t…

“Padfoot, you’ve gone barking mad…” despite the weak protest, Remus found he could realistically do very little to resist his beloved as he kissed burning circles against his skin. With that familiar mischievous gleam in his eyes, Sirius offered him a wink and then took Remus in his mouth- all the way down to the skin. The lycan groaned in pleasure and buried his fingers into the Animagus’ thick, dark hair. He peered down at his lover and offered him the smallest of smiles as the sultry sound of Sirius’ efforts echoed around the corners of his office. So enthralled was he by the perfection of his beloved’s mouth, the professor failed to notice the inky footprints on the Marauder's Map that were creeping closer and closer to his quarters. And then there was a knock at his door.

“Professor Lupin?” Severus Snape’s nasally voice caught him off guard. Panic sept into every pore on his body and he went to push Sirius away, but his lover didn’t budge. He locked his hands around the arms of Remus’ office chair and the lycan knew instantly that there would be no moving him. Instead, Remus shifted in his seat so that his posture was more upright and he placed his knees under Sirius’ arms with his feet braced against both of his thighs. He flicked his wand and his record player began to spin a gentle tune that was just loud enough to drown out the soft sounds of Sirius pleasing him. He slid Henrietta Clayborne’s homework over the map on his desk and brushed a piece of gray hair out of his flushed face.

“Come in, Severus,” the professor called with a bit of a hitch in his throat. Snape strode into his quarters in his usual manner- with his hooked nose in the air and his robes flowing behind him. He stopped a few feet short of Remus’ desk and stared at him curiously with his dark, beady eyes.

“You don’t look well, professor… you’re flushed and sweating. Are you low on your potion?”

“I have enough to last,” Remus replied with a small smile. Just then, Sirius lavished his length in a long, sultry lick that caused chills to race up his spine. Remus didn’t so much as twitch. “Must be coming down with a cold. Thank you for your concern.”

“Mmm…” Snape’s eyes seemed to harden but he didn’t push the subject further. Instead, he crossed his arms and clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth. “I have been dealing with quite an imposing issue for the last few months. I was wondering if you would be able to solve a mystery for me? Or, at the very least, enlighten me to a solution.”

“I’m afraid I’m just a simple charms teacher, Severus. I specialize in first years and students who are struggling. I doubt I’d be much good at solving a mystery for a man of your academic caliber.” Remus swallowed hard when he felt himself pushing deeply against the back of Sirius’ throat. His lover held him there and teased him with the softest graze of his teeth. Remus wiped the bead of sweat on his brow away. “But I will do my best. What seems to be the trouble?”

“Ever since the start of the year, I’ve had certain items come up missing from my personal supply closet. Lacewing Flies for one. Leeches and Knotgrass Blades for another. Horn of Bicorn- powder, Boomslang skin- shredded, Fluxweed Roots that were picked on a full moon.” Severus unfolded his arms and placed his palms flat on Remus’ desk. “Do you know what those ingredients qualify for, Professor Lupin?”

“Sounds like P-Polyjuice Potion,” the lycan replied as Sirius paused the bobbing of his head and held deathly still- something that caused the back of his throat to contract in a way that brought stars into the corners of his vision. “What of it?”

“You wouldn’t be helping an old friend of yours into the castle again, now would you?” Remus’ blood ran cold. He caught Severus’ gaze and held it.

“Surely you’re not implying what I think you are. H-Honestly, Severus...”

“Regardless of Dumbledore’s opinions of your companion, he is still a fugitive at large who is wanted by the entire wizarding community. I would surely hope you wouldn’t be stealing from me for his sake, Professor,” Snape spat out the last word like it was bile on his tongue. “That would be a new low even for someone with as shallow standards as you.”

“Why are you so cruel to me, Severus?” Remus challenged gently as Sirius leaned his head against his thigh and lapped ever so softly against his length. “I never picked on you like James and Sirius did when we were kids.”

“The company you keep speaks volumes of your true nature,” Snape replied curtly with a dark glimmer in his eyes. “You may have never spoken the words, Remus, but you never silenced them either. A man who does nothing while others are vile is vile himself.”

“As vile as threatening a student with Veritaserum all because you speculate that they might have stolen from you?” Remus clasped his fingers together and raised an eyebrow. “Or bullying the son of someone who you had conflict with- a student who already has a hard life at home? See, to me, punishing the child for the sins of the father seems quite a cruel and beastly thing.”

“You would know all about beastly things, wouldn’t you, Remus?” As Snape continued, the lycan felt Sirius prickling with anger and he nudged him with his knee to remind him to stay silent.

“That’s unfair, Severus,” Remus said simply with a slow nod of his head. “In any event, I will keep an eye out for anything suspicious involving your pantry. I am sorry your supplies are missing. I’ll do everything I can to get to the bottom of it. But,” he said quickly when Severus opened his mouth to speak (incidentally, Sirius had also taken him all the way down the skin again and it was making his legs tremble). “I was halfway through grading Henrietta Clayborne’s paper when you came in for this charming visit. I have three more after hers… and as you have noticed, I am not feeling quite well.” He offered a soft smile. “May I get back to my work? Are we done here?” Snape held Remus’ gaze for a moment longer and studied the bead of sweat that ran from his brow down his jaw. Without another word, the Potions Master turned on his feet and headed swiftly from the room. He slammed the door on his way out and Remus exhaled all the air in his lungs. He leaned his head back against his chair and placed both hands again in Sirius’ thick, dark hair. He was so close it was nearly unbearable when his lover pulled his head away, tendrils of arousal laced in gossamer threads from his beard to the soaked seam of Remus’ pants.

“The absolute nerve of that slimy little git!” he growled.

“T-That’s what you stopped to say?” Remus gasped as he looked at his lover in exasperation. “You had your mouth full of me and you brought that to an end to talk about Severus?”

“Ooh, I hit a nerve- huh?” Sirius teased as he gave the head of Remus’ heat a kiss. “Oh, don’t you worry, Moon… I’m not done with you yet.” That mischievous gleam entered his eyes again as he offered his beloved a dangerous smile. “I promised to make today up to you. And considering how pissed you were at me… I’ve got plenty of work to do. So lean back, close your eyes… and let me show you how much you mean to me.” Sirius took Remus back into his mouth with perfect, delicate, delicious precision- all the way down to the skin with enough force that it made him gag instantly. Remus bit his lip and dug his fingernails into his lover’s scalp. Once again, the sound of Sirius pleasing him echoed around the office- though this time muffled a bit under the soft playing of instrumental music.

Remus felt himself building quickly and he leaned his head back again but instantly felt Sirius’ teeth and chuckled. He looked down to see the man he loved staring up at him with bloodshot gray eyes that were rimmed in tears. “That’s perfect,” Remus nearly purred as Sirius kept the same intense rhythm. He lurched against the rigid heat in his mouth but didn’t dare pull away. Not when he’s right there.“God, Sirius… I’m so close…”

Sirius moaned around the girth in his mouth, aching with his entire body to have Remus release for him. His throat was desperately sore, and his jaws burned like hellfire. But I wouldn’t stop now if someone threatened to kill me. Remus’ fingernails drew blood from his scalp and the prick of pain just spurred him further into the craze. He took the length as far back as he could until the pesky tears under his lashes rolled down his face. He felt Remus go rigid around him and twitch against his tongue. The professor said something to him but Sirius couldn’t hear him over the sound of his own gagging... and the classical music. Remus filled his mouth with sweet, hot cream and Sirius closed his eyes to relish the feeling and drown in the taste. The world came back to him in a rush of color and sound as chills raced up his spine when he realized his lover was panting his name.

“… Sirius, I’m still cumming, oh my God, I… Sirius, honey…” Desperately eager to please, the Animagus drank down every drop until Remus had nothing left. His throat burning, Sirius pulled his head back until Remus left his mouth and he found that he suddenly felt very empty. He swiped his tongue over his messy lips and saw this man, who he loved so much, sprawled out in the chair in front of him with a starry look in his eyes and a still-hard erection glistening just an inch from his face. Sirius’ hazy gray eyes were filled with adoration as he gently licked the side of Remus’ throbbing length. His lover winced under the touch but didn’t move away. “S-Sirius?...”

“You’re still hard for me, Moon.”

Remus’ face flushed red. “Yeah, you know that happens sometimes…”

“You came so hard.”

“I-I know.”

“It was so good.”

“I…”

“Can I have more?” Remus slid his lovestruck gaze over the handsome face of the man who held his heart. He tilted his head as if he hadn’t heard him.

“W-What?”

“Can you give me more?...” Sirius asked in that sultry voice as he licked Remus again. He was less sensitive to it this time, but it still gave him chills. “I mean… I want to give you more, if you’re up to it.” Then, he winked at his lover. “I told you earlier that I want to make up for my recklessness today. Just once isn’t going to cut it.” He offered Remus that devilish smile again and the lycan knew instantly that he was done for. “I hope you’re ready, professor… because I’m not done apologizing.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Remus knew something was wrong. From the moment the third task began, a cold pit formed in the bottom of his stomach. He scanned the outside of the arena for Sirius and saw his beloved just inside the shadows of the trees. The great black dog would occasionally step out so that he was temporarily visible, then would dip back again and be swallowed by the foliage. Remus’ stomach began to sour the longer that Harry was inside the maze. Finally, when his nerves could take it no more, he began to pick his way through the stands toward Albus when a commotion came from the field. Harry had returned! A champion was crowned! And… and… Something is very, very wrong. Remus rushed down to the edge of the maze on the heels of McGonagall, Dumbledore, Snape, and a handful of other teachers and administrators.

“He’s back!” Harry was crying as he cradled the very still form of Cedric Diggory. “I-I couldn’t save him! Voldemort killed him!” Tears were streaming down his godson’s face and Remus desperately tried to reach for him only to be shouldered out of the way by Moody and the higher-ups of Hogwarts. As a crowd of people began to encircle Harry, those watching in the stands screamed and scattered in panic. Remus used this cloak of chaos to slip silently away to the shadows and found Padfoot waiting for him there.

“What’s happened?” Sirius hissed as he dangerously shifted from dog to man. “Remus? What’s wrong? Is Harry okay?...”“Voldemort is back,” the charms teacher told his lover in a shaky voice. “And he killed that sweet Diggory boy.” Something cold entered Sirius’ eyes and he went to push by Remus, but his beloved held him tightly. “No, Sirius, please! Not as you are…” Sirius exhaled all the air in his lungs and transformed again from man to beast. “Wait by Hagrid’s hut,” Remus pleaded, and even as a dog with canine features, he knew that his darling was looking at him in disbelief. “Please Padfoot. I’ll send for you as soon as I know what’s going on. Harry is dealing with enough distress. He doesn’t need to worry about your safety as well.” Sirius held Remus’ gaze then eventually nodded. He nudged the professor’s hand with his muzzle then disappeared into the forest. Remus watched him go until the dog fell from his vision.

With his heart absolutely pounding in his chest, he turned on his heels and headed off through the throng of chaos toward the castle. He glanced at the map in his pocket and used it to track down Dumbledore and the rest. What he walked in on shocked him to his core. Barty Crouch Junior lay on the floor of Professor Moody’s office, spewing out horrific truths from the effect of the very Veritaserum that Snape threatened to use on Harry. And when it was all done, the Death Eater slipped into unconsciousness with everyone else in the room standing in cold disbelief. Remus looked from McGonagall to Snape, to Dumbledore, then finally to Harry. His godson limped over to him and melted into his arms, sobs racking against the lycan’s thin chest. Remus held him and kissed the top of his head.

“I’m here,” he promised Harry gently with tears in his eyes. “I’ve got you. I’m here.”

“I sent for Snuffles to comfort Harry,” Dumbledore told Remus lightly as he walked over to the two and gently rubbed the weeping student’s shoulders. “He’ll be waiting for us in my quarters.” Remus nodded numbly and began to guide Harry away. The headmaster turned to his loyal companions and held their gazes. “Severus, please fetch Madam Pomfrey to see to Alastor. And Minerva-“ Professor McGonagall perked up immediately- “I trust you can monitor this… gentleman…” Albus nearly spat the word, “until I return.” The witch pulled her wand from her robes and pointed it at the very still Barty Crouch Junior with a deadly focus. Content with this, Dumbledore trailed after Remus and Harry as Snape took off in the opposite direction.

The three of them walked in silence until they reached Dumbledore’s office. Inside, a comfort greater than Harry could have ever hoped for was waiting for him. Sirius shifted from dog to man and crossed the room in one bound. He wrapped his godson in a tight, warm, earthy hug as Remus secured him from the back. The two of them held Harry with a ferocious strength, hardly daring to breathe as he sobbed against Sirius’ chest. “Are you okay?” the former prisoner asked after a few minutes as he took Harry’s face between his hands and brushed his thumbs through the bloody tear streaks on his cheeks. “Harry?...”

“He killed Cedric!” the boy wailed as more tears fell. “He killed him. I-I couldn’t stop it.”

“What happened?”

“I can answer that…” between the two of them, Remus and Dumbledore filled Sirius in on everything from Harry’s return to the current moment they were in. The Gryffindor student just continued to sob into his godfather’s chest as Sirius whispered soft comforts to him, his gray eyes darkening with anger at every increasing detail.

“So Crouch was behind it all?” he growled as he kissed the top of Harry’s head. “He planned all of this all along… he nearly had Harry killed…”

“What happened after you touched the Portkey, Harry?” Dumbledore pressed gently and Harry turned his bloodshot green eyes toward the headmaster.

“Albus, he’s traumatized,” Remus responded gently as he dug around in his pocket. He offered Harry a piece of chocolate, but he didn’t take it. “Please, can’t this wait?”

“He needs rest. If only a few hours,” Sirius added with a tone of agreement in his voice. “He’s been through far enough tonight.”

“If it wasn’t imperative that we get this information now, gentlemen, please understand that I would charm him into a sleep so deep that his dreams would feel real,” Dumbledore replied to them with a tone of regret etching in his voice. “But I am afraid time is of the essence… and I must know everything.” The old wizard turned his gaze to Harry again, and the student felt pesky tears rising in his eyes once more. “If you please, Harry… tell us all you can. From the beginning.”

And that’s what he did. Harry recalled it all- from the moment he entered the maze, to Krum using the Cruciatus Curse on Cedric, to the two of them grabbing the cup together. Harry’s breathing became sporadic and labored when he got to the graveyard. Wormtail, Cedric’s dead body, the ritual, the Death Eaters, the duel… When Harry mentioned the part about seeing the spirits of his parents, he noticed the longing and sorrowful looks on the faces of his godfathers and it brought fresh tears to his eyes. For a long time, there was silence between them.

“That’s enough for tonight,” Dumbledore announced and Harry sighed with relief as he leaned back against Remus and breathed in the professor’s scent- and with it came familiar smells like coffee, parchment paper, and more distantly… moonlight. The headmaster stood and clasped his hands together. “I say it is time that we escort Harry to the infirmary. Sirius- you are welcome to join as your four-legged counterpart.” Without a moment’s hesitation, he changed from man to dog. The four of them went swiftly and silently to the hospital wing- Harry supported by Remus and Dumbledore as Padfoot trailed closely by his lover’s side.

A plethora of loved ones were waiting for Harry and, despite Madam Pomfrey’s reservations toward a giant black dog in her infirmary, she was able to get to work very quickly at making him feel a bit better. Before he knew it, he was changed into something less dirty and more comfortable. Then he was settled into a bed and fed some type of brew. The last thing Harry remembered before he fell into a deep, dreamless sleep, was the feeling of Remus Lupin’s calloused hand on his own, and the adoration that was pooling in Padfoot’s canine yellow eyes.

***

When Sirius woke the next morning, he found Remus was already gone but he didn’t have much time to dwell on the matter. Almost immediately after he and Harry rose from their slumber, Cornelius Fudge- the Minister of Magic- strode into the infirmary to speak to Harry only to be intercepted by Dumbledore. The three of them quarreled for quite some time before the argument died out and Fudge left in a whirlwind muttering under his breath about ‘lies and deceit’. Then, much to Sirius’ surprise, Dumbledore allowed him to be himself again. He nearly frightened Molly Weasley out of her skin and, (against his better judgement, but due to Dumbledore’s strong encouragement) struck up a fragile peace with Snivellus- er, Severus. Then Albus had sent him off to recruit the original members of the Order of the Phoenix, plus a few more supporting allies. By the time Sirius made it back to Twelve Grimmauld Place- it was nightfall and he was exhausted.

Immediately, Sirius knew something was off inside the home. He made it less than three steps in the door when the feeling of being watched started to scratch at the inside of his mind like tiny rat claws. A few things were amiss; one of the candy dishes was shattered on the floor and there were long, deep furrows along the wooden stairwell. He instinctively reached for his wand as he peered up the staircase that led to the second floor. “Kreacher?” he called uncertainly as he gripped the wand tightly in his left hand. There was no answer. “Remus? Are you home?...” Sirius let out a cry of surprise as something heavy crashed into him from behind. His wand went flying from his grasp as he was sent sprawling face down onto the wooden floor. His breath left him in a rush from his lungs as a twinge of panic crept in. Pressure applied to his shoulders and hot breath scorched the back of his neck. And then a familiar scent washed over him… and was followed immediately by recognition.

“Remus?” he said in a gruff voice as he tried to lean up but the force on his shoulders only increased. He could tell by the weight atop him as well as the feeling of very human features that his beloved was still a man and not the wolf he would become. But… He’s been neglecting his potion. The last few weeks, they’d been so preoccupied with the task, Harry’s wellbeing, and Voldemort returning… remembering to take Wolfsbane had been the last thing on either of their minds. Sirius cursed himself when he remembered that, in fact, tomorrow was the full moon. Which means… Carefully, Sirius rolled over on his back and came face to face with the man he loved… who was currently very much a stranger.

Remus had never looked so wild to him before- not without being covered in shaggy yellow fur with claws and fangs. His pupils were so large that they nearly swallowed his irises- leaving only the thinnest ring of hazel around black spheres of void depth. His breathing was fast and shallow, like a predator pursuing prey on a hunt. His skin was ashen pale and the veins around his neck were swollen and dark. Sirius gulped, trying to adjust to the surprise of seeing this version of his moon, as he tried to mentally reason out what he needed to do next. Just act normal. Keep it cool, Sirius.

“Harry’s doing fine, my love. He’s resting,” he told him in an easy voice. Remus didn’t so much as blink at him. “He’ll be by in a few weeks to visit. Isn’t that exciting? It’ll be so nice to have him around. Maybe we could take him house hunting with us. After all- it’ll be his home too. What do you think?” Remus tilted his head at him as a thin line of sweat beaded his brow. “Where were you earlier? I was worried. I was looking for you when I woke up… man, oh man, Moon… I have so much to tell you. So much happened just this morning…” much to Sirius’ shock (and perhaps a bit of delight), Remus leaned down and silenced him with an uncharacteristically aggressive kiss. Sirius’ heart pounded in his chest when Remus placed a hand on either side of his head and forced his tongue deeply and roughly into his mouth. Despite himself, Sirius felt color filling his cheeks and he couldn’t suppress the softest of moans from climbing up his throat. Remus abruptly broke the kiss and leaned back- watching Sirius with those harsh predatory eyes.

Sirius sat up curiously and tried to stand but Remus growled at him so he stayed put. In the next instant, his beloved was standing and unfastening the clasp on his pants. Sirius watched, wide eyed, as the professor pulled an achingly hard erection from behind his trousers and braced himself against the wall. Sirius glanced up at Remus and then nodded and took the heat eagerly into his mouth. From the moment the embrace began, Sirius knew this was different. He needed to be careful. Remus was hanging on to his humanity by only threads and a lack of moonlight. The force he was using was unlike any he’d dealt with before and Sirius had to consistently dip his head back to avoid being choked. Remus pushed him with his knee until Sirius’ spine was against the wall he was braced on. Then he pushed himself all the way into the former prisoner’s mouth until he was alarmingly full. Sirius tried to pace his breathing as he lurched around the length that was pressing hard into the back of his throat. Chills raced up his arms as he wrapped them around Remus’ legs and dug his nails into the fabric of his trousers.

I can’t breathe. Sirius moved his head to the side and sucked in a desperate scrap of air. Tears ran from the corners of his eyes and he saw spots in his vision when Remus started to thrust in and out his mouth with enough force to make him gag instantly. Insanely, despite the predicament he was in- Sirius couldn’t hide the smallest tinge of enjoyment he was feeling. He was the dominant one in their relationship- it had always been that way. Even as friends when they were younger. He would lead and Remus would follow. In their relationship, in the bedroom, in any dynamic they held… that was how it was. Remus was guided by him and loved the comfort, strength, and safety that Sirius’ willpower held for him. But this? This was new. And intense. Sirius had never been at Remus’ mercy before- or lack thereof. Even though he was incredibly nervous, and honestly a little frightened, he was also aroused in a way he didn’t quite understand…

Sirius was shook from his thoughts when Remus jarred him. He ripped himself from Sirius’ mouth so fast that it made him gag. Saliva and arousal was coating his face as he gasped for breath. In the next heartbeat, Remus was on his level again and pushed him roughly against the floor. He rolled him over and Sirius’ heart hammered in his chest when Remus pulled down his pants. He grit his teeth and closed his eyes- prepared for an aggressive intrusion that would send spikes of pain up his spine. But then he was met by something else entirely. Remus grabbed both sides of his rump with enough force that his nails instantly drew blood. Sirius had less than a second to register what was happening before Remus buried his face between them and ravished him with long, hard, deep licks. Sirius’ face filled with color, and he gasped as he tried to jerk away. Remus snarled at him and held him so hard in place that it caused the breath to leave his lungs.

“M-Moon, you know I don’t…” Sirius’ voice shook as embarrassment burned through him. The lycan was driven and focused and each lash from his tongue was rougher than the last. He tipped his tongue inside and Sirius groaned and buried his hands in his own hair. He’d never even contemplated… this… before. Of course, he’d rimmed Remus on several occasions. Every now and then, he fancied the sounds it made his beloved make and how red his face got when he buried himself in. The sensation and taste for himself was a definite plus. But he’d always told Remus he didn’t want it given back. Half… because he found it just the slightest bit humiliating (though he loved making Remus squirm in that adorably mortified way). Half… because Sirius was covered nearly head to toe in thick, black, curly hair and it made him self-conscious. But now?...

“Fuck…” Sirius could have cracked his teeth from how hard he was grinding them together. Sweat beaded his brow as Remus licked inside of him again. Sirius burned with shame when he realized how hard he was and that he was desperately close already just from Remus’ tongue. Without even meaning to, he pushed back against his lover’s mouth and felt something akin to chagrin searing up his spine. I can’t cum like this! I’ll be so humiliated… Sirius hissed through his teeth and tried feebly once again to get away and, again, Remus held him still with a force the Animagus had never seen from his lover before. A fresh wave of delicious heat poured into him and Sirius groaned when Remus grabbed his hips and pulled him backward until he was brought to his knees. Sirius dug his fingernails into his own scalp and panted, sweat and tears glistening on his face. I can’t help it! It feels so good…

“No, no, no, fuck…” Sirius nearly tore a hole through his lip. The orgasm crawled from every corner of his body and he gasped for breath when spurts of hot cream covered the floor underneath him. Shakily, he tried again in vain to get away, desperate to crawl off somewhere and hide. But Remus held him steady and licked, lapped, and lavished until there were stars in his vision. Sirius’ legs trembled and he would have fallen had Remus not been holding him up. Finally, the lycan pulled his mouth away, and Sirius nearly melted in a trembling heap onto the floor. The professor kept a hold on his hips and growled in a way that sent chills up the former prisoner's spine. Then, without a warning, Remus pushed inside of him with enough force to pull a scream from Sirius' blistered throat.

“Fuck, Remus! I-I wasn’t ready…” Sirius groaned, his face flushing red as the professor found his stride. It was an aggressive, animalistic pace that was rougher than Sirius had ever had from his beloved. Through the threads of pleasure and delight, he was starting to panic just a bit. He was weak now from the orgasm, growing sorer by the minute, and also filled with enough shame to kill him. I’ve never seen Remus feral like this… I don’t know how to get him to snap out of it… Remus’s nails dug into the already bleeding places on his hips and Sirius hissed from the pressure as he pounded against him again and again. Even still, despite the ever-growing layers of slight fear and worry, Sirius was very aware that he was enjoying himself a bit too much. Being dominated like this?... Consumed, ravished, humiliated… bred…

“E-Easy, Moon,” Sirius panted as the lycan’s thrust became a bit more uncomfortable. He shifted around the hardened length but Remus didn’t relent. He kept the same delicious, insatiable, impossible speed and depth- enough so that it made Sirius ache and throb with each entry and exit. He tried to move again to alleviate some pressure but Remus just snarled at him and pulled him back harder. The added force caused an unpleasant, unexpected spike of pain and Sirius yelped. “Fuck! Remus, please… just…” Sirius could hear the tremble in his voice. Get it together, Padfoot. I need to get him back… Sirius looked over his shoulder. He could see the wildness in Remus’ eyes- so far gone that the color of his irises was yellow instead of hazel. He took a long, deep breath and tried to fight through both the pleasure and the discomfort to steady himself.

“H-Honey,” he said through nearly gritted teeth. “R-Remus, you’re being too rough.” Sirius winced when that seemed to make the pace quicken. “H-honey… come back to me. My moon, I need you. R-Remus, please…” Remus moved a hand from his hips and placed it on the back of Sirius’ head, digging nearly claw-like nails into his scalp as he forced him harshly down against the floor. Sirius felt alarm prickle up his skin until gooseflesh blanketed his arms when the pressure caused unpleasant stars in his vision, and he groaned in discomfort. There was still pleasure, of course. Remus fit him like they were designed for each other. But the speed and unrelenting depth was making him incredibly sore. There’s also the fact that I don’t think he’s going to stop… and I don’t know how much I can physically take… Sirius felt tears sting the corners of his eyes as Remus pushed even deeper inside of him and it made him snarl from the burn. Think, Sirius… think… “Remus, I need a break,” he said in a shaky voice and the lycan pushed down harder on his skull- the pressure enough to bring a stinging pain that made him nervous. “I know you can hear me, M-Moon… you’re hurting me, honey… and I know my husband would never hurt me…” Sirius’ breath caught in his throat. Remus paused the feverish thrusting, pushed all the way inside of him until Sirius feared he might tear at the seams. He could hear himself panting, breathing, wheezing. His heart was pounding and the blood was roaring in his ears. Remus’ claws removed from his head. Then there was a new sound; one that broke his heart. Remus was crying.

“Sirius?!... Oh my God…” Remus pulled away from him and Sirius gasped from being empty after so long of being full. He collapsed to the floor and drank in desperate mouthfuls of air. He was hurt- he knew that. How badly… was irrelevant. Despite the aching inside of him and the burning in his skull, he forced himself to his knees, pulled his pants up, and shakily fastened the button again. He turned to face Remus and his heart dropped. His beloved was sunken against the far wall, his knees pulled up to his chest with his head in the valley between them. He was sobbing so hard that it was shaking his entire body. Sirius crawled over to him but when he tried to reach out, Remus flinched away from his touch. He raised his head, those hazel eyes bloodshot and filled with agony. “Sirius, I’m s-so sorry!”

“It’s okay. I’m okay.”

“You’re not… I know you’re not.” Remus searched Sirius’ gaze and his lover just offered a small smile. “I hurt you…”

“It really isn’t that bad. I enjoyed most of it- honestly. You just got a little rough with me toward the end.”

“I hurt you!” Remus screamed hoarsely as fresh tears rolled down his face. His breathing became labored and heavy and, much to Sirius’ horror, he started pummeling the sides of his head with his fists. Sirius reached out and grabbed his wrists, holding the professor steady. He gave him a hard shake and Remus could barely look at him through the tears that were steaming down his face.

“Stop that right now! You’re not going to harm yourself like that in front of me, do you understand?”

“I d-deserve it…" Remus sobbed. "I can’t believe I just did that to you… Sirius, I practically raped you.”

“If that was rape, I’ll eat Buckbeak,” Sirius corrected him with another soft, but firm shake. “Do you remember all of it? Moon?”

“I… Kind of… it’s like… it’s like I was watching it from an outside perspective. Or like I was… inside of myself… looking out. Like a film.”

“Then you saw that I enjoyed myself,” Sirius replied softly. He leaned in and tried to kiss Remus, but his lover turned his head away. “Moon?...”

“I couldn’t stop.”

“But you did.”

“I didn’t care that I was hurting you.”

“But you do.”

“You were scared of me.”

“I wasn’t,” Sirius told him in an honest voice as he released Remus’ wrists. He took his lover’s chin between his fingers and turned his head to face him. “I was nervous for a second, yes, I will admit. I was getting a bit chafed toward the end… but I knew you’d come back to me. And here you are, hm?” Sirius offered him a small smile but Remus only blinked away more tears. “And look at you… heeling back to my side like the good boy you are. And to think that all I had to do was call you my husband.” When Sirius said the word ‘husband’ again, Remus gained the smallest sparkle to his eyes and his cheeks filled with color. Sirius smiled at him again and, in spite of himself, Remus couldn’t help but smile back. Sirius chuckled and gave Remus’ cheek a little pat. He pushed to his feet and immediately regretted his decision. The room started spinning around him and he stumbled. Remus jumped up and caught him in his arms to steady him. He let Sirius lean on him and wrapped his arm around his shoulders.

“You’re hurt,” Remus repeated in a low, sad voice. “Where? Is it… just inside, Sirius?”

“My head feels a little funny,” the former prisoner admitted with a wince. “Nothing a tonic or a stiff drink won’t fix. I’m f-fine, Moon, really…”

“I’ll do you one better than a tonic or a shot. Come on.” In slow, measured steps, Remus began to guide Sirius up the staircase. As they passed by Walburga’s portrait, she started screaming out at them about sin and slander. Sirius ignored her until…

“Filthy lycan halfbreed!”

“What did you say?” Sirius snarled as he tried to turn on his feet. His head pounded again and Remus forced him back on the path toward the bathroom. Not even bothering to close the door, the professor helped his beloved over to the tub. Sirius let his lover undress him, ease him inside the porcelain drum, then turn the water on. The Animgaus let out a sigh of relief as the warm water started to coat his body and he welcomed the heat on his aching flesh. He watched Remus root through the many bottles of elixirs and tonics on the shelves. I can never let him know just how badly he hurt me… It wasn’t just inside. Sirius knew that. There were claw marks still bleeding along his thighs, hips, and shoulders. But it was his head that ached most of all. He was thankful his mop of charcoal hair was hiding those gashes.

Remus poured some of the potions into the steaming water and instantly Sirius found comfort. He exhaled and nodded as Remus nestled down at the edge of the tub and began to scrub some of the sweat from his chest. They met eyes and immediately the lycan looked away. “Remus…”

“I’m sorry I hurt you,” he said again and Sirius lifted a wet hand out of the water and cupped his lover’s cheek. He drew Remus in toward him and kissed his lips.

“Stop apologizing. I know what I signed up for. You beat me up worse than this the night we found Peter in the Shrieking Shack.”

“Oh, don’t remind me about that,” Remus groaned as he reached over and turned the water off. Sirius just chuckled as he slid down in the tub up to his chin and breathed in the floral, earthy smell of the elixir infused water. He eyed the professor curiously and decided to change the subject.

“You weren’t there when I woke up this morning in the infirmary.”

“I woke with the dawn,” Remus replied softly as he stared into the pink swirls that were staining the water. His stomach soured when he realized it was Sirius’ blood. “I felt off. Hungry… angry. I knew something was wrong, so I got Buckbeak and came back to the manor. I was heading up here to get my Wolfsbane but then I just… got lost in it. I don't even know what happened really. I remember so little between then and now. It’s like… the day is in pieces but all out of order somehow. I can’t make sense of it all.”

“Best not to try then,” Sirius said in a soft voice as he watched the water clean itself and form new lather as Remus went back to cleaning him. “Dumbledore forced Severus and I to call a truce this morning. Since we’re going to be Order members together… I suppose we have to get along. To some degree.”

“Yes, you should,” Remus agreed as he began to clean Sirius’ hair. “It’s a long time coming too. There was never a reason for you or James either one to have treated him the way you did.”

“He’s a menace.”

“So are you!”

“I never treated anyone the way he treats Harry. Half his students are terrified of him. Remus, it is from your own mouth that said Neville Longbottom’s boggart took the form of Snape. Of all the terrors in the world, that boy was the most afraid of his potions’ master. Now what does that tell you?”

“That you’re biased,” Remus said simply as his eyebrows furrowed. "And you did treat Severus badly, Sirius- no matter what you say. You nearly let me kill him once. Don't think I've forgotten that..." Remus' words failed him. He was noticing the blood that was drying in Sirius’ hair and his lashes welled with tears. “Oh, Padfoot…”

“It’s fine,” the Animagus replied as he tilted his head back and looked up into the professor’s eyes. Remus went to pull away from him again but Sirius grabbed his wrists and drew him in close. He kissed Remus, deeply and softly. Then he broke the embrace and nuzzled his nose. “I’m fine. Please…” he kissed him again. “I feel so much better already, really… why don’t you get in the water too? It might help to calm you a bit.”

“Sirius…”

“I’ll hold you.” Without waiting for an answer, Sirius began to unbutton Remus’ shirt. The lycan sighed in defeat and nodded as he pushed down his trousers and peeled off his socks. Sirius watched him with adoring eyes as the lanky, pale man slid into the steaming water and nestled up to him with his head tucked under his chin. Sirius ran a soapy, warm hand across his shoulder and drew hearts on his skin in the bubbles. Remus inhaled sharply before emptying all of the air from his lungs.

“This is nice.”

“Feel better?” Sirius asked and Remus nodded slightly.

“Do you?”

“Tons,” he replied honestly. “Just a little sore now, but that’ll pass shortly, I’m sure.” He glanced down to find Remus was staring up at him. “What is it, Moon? I promise I really do feel better…”

“Oh, it's just that I remembered something.”

“Hm?”

“You came from rimming.” Sirius’ jaw nearly unhinged his mouth dropped open so fast. Color filled his cheeks and he paused the rubbing on Remus’ shoulder. Remus adjusted so that he was sitting on Sirius’ lap and was looking down on him with a timid, teasing gleam in his hazel eyes. He held Sirius’ face with his wet, warm hands and brushed his thumbs over the man’s lips. “You liked it?”

“I…” Sirius blinked, speechless. Remus kissed him and the gentle heat from the contact made the Animagus’ heart race. Sirius closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around Remus. He dipped his hands under the water and cupped the underside of his rump, shifting him up slightly so that he could slide a finger inside. Remus gasped and broke the kiss, his eyes flying open as he stared, dumbstruck, at his lover.

“Sirius! What are you…”

“The beast doesn’t get to fuck me like that without me getting my way out of it,” Sirius replied with a growl in his voice. “And you don’t get to be naked and wet on my lap, holding my face, and giving me those moonlight soft kisses without me ravishing you.”

“P-Padfoot…” Remus’ cheeks filled with color as Sirius moved him again and pulled his finger out only to push himself in. The professor gasped and gripped Sirius’ face as his lover eased him all the way down until he was buried deep inside. Sirius hissed through his gritted teeth and offered Remus that dangerous smile.

“Merlin, you feel so fucking good, Moon…” This time, Remus was at a loss for words. He tried to turn his head away but Sirius’ left hand moved from the water as swift as wind and caught his chin. He held him steady, forcing Remus to look into his eyes as he grasped his rump with a harsh, possessive force and pinched the skin. Sirius drew him into a kiss and teased Remus with his tongue. “Do as I say,” he growled as he broke the embrace and the dominance in his tone made the professor’s head swim.

“O-Okay.”

“Try that again.” Remus throbbed and he nodded slowly.

“Yes sir.”

“There you go…” Sirius rewarded him with a lavish, loving kiss. “Rock back and forth. Hard. Remind that wolf inside you who really has the control here.” Remus felt his face flush again but he obliged and did as he was told. With each motion back and forth, Sirius just sunk deeper inside of him and the warm water splashed up through his dark, curly chest hair. Remus placed one hand on his shoulder and the other on the edge of the tub as he picked up speed. The sound of his moans echoed around the room and Sirius smiled at him and released his chin. He wrapped his free arm around Remus’ waist and held him as he leaned forward and kissed his thin, scarred chest. He trailed his tongue across the exposed skin, took the point of his left nipple between his teeth, and tugged on it gently. Remus groaned and dropped his hand from the wall and tangled his fingers carefully into Sirius’ hair.

“F-fuck…”

“Ooh…” Sirius made a tsking sound at Remus as he released the nipple from his mouth. He licked from his chest up to his neck. “That’s a dirty word, professor…” Sirius sunk his teeth into Remus’ throat and sucked on the skin around his Adam’s apple. Remus squirmed against him, shamelessly grinding his hips against the former prisoner’s lap as he wrapped both arms around him and screamed in euphoria.

“Sirius, oh my God!” he cried as his climax crawled nearer. “It’s s-so good…”

“Don’t. Not yet.” Sirius released his throat and Remus groaned as the pressure left him. Red marks glowed on his skin in the shape of Sirius’ teeth and the flesh inside the ring was a lovely shade of purple. Sirius gripped Remus’ hips and forced him down as far as he would go until he was buried so deeply inside that the lycan yelped in pained pleasure. Remus met his gaze again, his eyes wide and face flushed. Sirius smiled at him. “Does it hurt?”

“Yes- but I-I like it…”

“Do you like it when I’m deep inside you like this?” Remus felt chagrin prickling up his spine but he didn’t dare look away from Sirius. Not when he was using… this voice.

“Y-Yes.”

“Tell me.”

“I…” Remus gulped down his insecurities and wiped a bead of sweat from his face. He was throbbing inside and aching outside- desperately so close that he feared too deep a breath would push him over. “I love it when you’re inside me like this.”

“Are you my good boy?”

“Yes.”

“Yes?”

“Yes… I’m your good boy.”

“Do you want to cum?” Remus licked his lips when his entire body littered with gooseflesh.

“I really, really, really want to cum.”

“Should I let you?”

“Yes.”

“Why?” Remus’ shuttered. He could feel Sirius moving ever so slightly inside of him. The thrusts were slow, shallow, and gentle- but just enough to send tiny shockwaves of pain and pleasure pulsing through him. It was just enough to keep him on the edge without pushing him over. He’s teasing me.

“Because… you love me. Because I’ve been a good boy.”

“A good boy?” Sirius echoed with a raise of his eyebrow. “Was your behavior earlier something a good boy would do?” Remus felt the slightest twinge of remorse. But then he remembered that Sirius was brick hard buried in his guts and was actively tormenting him. I feel less bad now… and then a mischievous thought occurred to him and the words came out his mouth before he could stop them.

“I think making you cum with just my tongue while you shoved your ass in my face is pretty good boy behavior. Don’t you think so, sir?” Sirius clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth. He leaned back against the tub and braced his arms along either side of it. He held Remus’ gaze- the professor looking both curious and terrified. Then, Sirius offered him that mischievous smile and the lycan knew he’d made a mistake. Sirius chuckled at him.

“You have been a good boy, Moon. You can cum.” Relief washed over Remus and he gently began to rock his hips back and forth, chills covering his arms as Sirius’ length prodded at all the sore places inside of him. He groaned and braced his hands on the rim of the tub as the hot water splashed on the sides. Sirius moaned in pleasure as Remus bounced on him, sparks of pleasure sending rushes of fresh heat across his body. He watched Remus’ face and body language and noticed how he was desperately placing each thrust and pull. And then…

“Beg.”

Remus paused, his senses burning from pleasure. He was so close it was nearly painful, but the word caught him off guard. He looked at the face of lover and saw only Sirius’ cool, calculated, confident expression looking back at him. He smiled at him. “Beg for it.”

“C-Can I please cum?” Remus whispered in a shaky breath. “Please, Sirius, I’m so close it almost hurts…” Sirius tilted his head in thought.

“No. That’s not good enough.”

“What do you want me to say?!” Remus whined. He tried to move his hips in a circular motion to please his yearning but as soon as he shifted, Sirius shook his head at him and he stopped. “Please.”

“Does my cock feel good?”

“It’s amazing.”

“Tell me.” Color filled Remus’s cheeks and he gulped down the air building in his dry mouth. He realized suddenly where he’d gone wrong and that this was the penance for his crime. Sirius had been humiliated when the beast took him as he did. Powerless and fearful but also aroused beyond his wildest dreams. He was trying to regain control. And part of that control is my submission... my surrender. Remus drew in a deep breath.

“I love how your cock feels inside me,” he said in a shaky breath and Sirius nodded at him with a devious twinkle in his eyes. Slowly, Remus began to rock his hips again and the sensation of it brought him bliss. “God, it’s perfect…”

“Do you like being fucked like this?”

“I love being fucked like this.”

“Are you my good boy?”

“I am your good boy. Your pretty boy…” Remus’ face was on fire from the heat in his cheeks. Shame was tingling up his spine but he also didn’t care. It’s so good… I’m so close…

“Does my pretty boy want to cum?” Sirius asked with a growl in his voice. Remus held his gaze with tears glossing his eyes.

“Your pretty boy wants to cum. Please, please, please, may I?” Sirius stared at him for a moment, unblinking. Despite how cool he seemed on the outside, his heart was thundering in his chest. It was all too much. Remus- wet, flushed, pleasing himself with his body. The water, hot and surrounding them and filled with comforting, healing herbs. The steam rising around them. The tinge of pain he still felt inside. The pressure against his thighs. The desperation that was crashing between them. Sirius’ mouth watered and he gulped it down as he moved his hands from the tub and gripped Remus’ hips again. He drove him harder onto his length until the force caused stars in his vision. Remus was crying out for him, panting and pleading and begging.

“… please, Padfoot!”

“You may,” Sirius growled and not a moment too soon. Remus screamed in euphoria as the climax ripped from him. Sirius leaned up to meet him and groaned when the lycan bit down into the space between his neck and shoulder. Sirius kept pushing and pulling Remus against him- forcing him to ride out the orgasm harder with each thrust. The water between them clouded as Sirius was pushed to his peak and he dug his fingernails into Lupin’s back. He kept rocking his lover on his lap until he was entirely empty and the corners of his vision pulsed with color. Sirius leaned back against the tub with Remus curled against his chest as he withdrew from the bite. The water around them cleared instantly and he exhaled when fresh, warm suds washed against them. He ran his hand up to Remus’ shoulder and drew hearts on his skin in the bubbles.

“Feel better?” Sirius asked again and Remus nodded weakly.

“Tons.”

“Is your potion in the cabinet?” Remus nodded again. “When we get out, make sure to take it alright?”

“Okay,” the professor agreed as he leaned up to look into the eyes of the man he loved. He claimed his mouth with a kiss. “That was… insane.”

“Did you like it?” Sirius teased and Remus chuckled.

“Yeah… I did. I don’t think you’ve ever edged me that long. Not like that.”

“You’ve been edging me by just existing from the moment I first met you,” Sirius replied as he kissed Remus’ nose. “So I think you win that battle. Now, come on… we’re starting to get all wrinkly. Let’s get out of here and go to bed, hm? I don’t know about you, wolf boy, but I’m exhausted.”

“Okay,” Remus nearly purred as he found Sirius' mouth again- melting into one of his famous sultry kisses. “Hey, Padfoot?” he whispered as the tub began to drain. Sirius nodded to him.

“Yes, Moon?”

“I can’t wait to be your husband.” At that, Sirius couldn’t help but smile.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The weeks following the end of the tournament were a challenging time for the Wizarding World. And there was scarcely a soul on Earth that had been as on edge as Remus John Lupin. It seemed that his monthly cycles were riddled with more aggression now, and he felt weak and sick a lot of the time since the rebirth of the Dark Lord. He also had the constant worry of Harry’s mental health and wellbeing, as well as the ever-exhausting job of keeping Sirius Black in line. The pressure of it all was immense and he often felt as if he were suffocating in a never-ending tide of concern and fear. It was that paranoia, in fact, that led him to make an incredible decision. So, a few days prior to the new school year at Hogwarts, the charms professor went to ask a tremendous favor of the headmaster. It was a proposition that had been keeping him awake at night.

Remus walked nervously into Dumbledore’s office, with his hands in his pockets and a tremble in his step. Much to his surprise, he saw the potions master was also present. Snape, who had been leaning in very closely to the headmaster, straightened up, and stood back when the lycan entered the room. Severus glowered at him with his dark, beady eyes and crossed his arms in his usual hardened manner. Albus, however, seemed much more welcoming and greeted the professor with a warm smile as he stood from behind his desk.

“You don’t have to look so nervous, Remus. I promise I won’t bite.” Are you sure Severus won't? Lupin thought to himself as he closed the space between the three of them.

“Just not feeling well, is all,” he replied shyly as he rubbed his arm. “I didn’t realize you already had an audience.”

“Severus and I had some business to attend to before our appointment,” Dumbledore replied as he took a lemon candy from a glass bowl on his desk and offered the dish to the other men in the room. Neither of them moved to take one. Albus lightly rolled his eyes slightly. “And I figured… with the nature of our conversation, Remus, I’d need a third party.”

“The nature of our conversation?...”

“You’ve come to ask something of me, have you not?” Dumbledore inquired with a raise of his graying eyebrow as he took a second candy and popped it in his mouth. “A favor, perhaps. I’ve known you a long time, Remus, and you’ve never approached me as nervously as you are now. Nor have you ever requested my presence with enough of a tremble in your hand to leave imperfections in your writing.” The headmaster smiled softly at the teacher and bit into the first lemon delight, chewing on the flavorful shards as he tilted his head. “So, you have my upmost interest. What plagues you, my friend?”

“I…” Remus nervously wiped the sweat that was forming on his palms on his pants. “I… want your help, Albus. I-I need some way to protect Sirius.”

“Sirius already has my protection. You know this.”

“It’s not enough, I fear. From the outside world… yes, it may be. But Sirius is impulsive and reckless at the best of times. And this… the state of everything right now... qualifies for far less than the best of times. He’s worrying himself sick about Harry. He wants to be in his sight at all times and I’ve never seen him take to whisky like he has since the end of the tournament. He’s nervous, restless, and angry… all the time. He's having nightmares again about Azkaban and he hardly eats unless I force him. I fear for his safety. Harry’s life is paramount- and I know that… but Sirius is important to me too, Albus. I need… something, somehow, someway… to help keep Sirius safe from himself.”

“This is impossible,” Dumbledore said gently as he crunched into his second candy. “Remus, I cannot take away a man’s free will.”

“But you can protect him? Somehow? There has to be something. Something to save him if his impulses get the better of him. Anything?”

“If Black wants to destroy himself, then there is little that anyone can do to stop that. It's something that he will do on his terms in his own way,” Severus cut in coldly as he shook his head. “I fear there’s virtually nothing you can do to keep a man like him from doing as he pleases.”

“Albus…” the professor pleaded in a small, urgent, choked voice that sounded more child-like than he intended for it to. Fear was welling up inside of him and bubbled against his eyes until his vision was nearly bleary with unfallen tears.

“Remus, I’m sorry, but there’s nothing I can do…” Dumbledore sat the candy dish back on his desk and then went to turn away, but Remus rushed forward and grabbed his arm.

“Sirius and Harry are all that matters to me in this world!” he all but screamed, his voice shaking and bottom lip trembling. “I have lost everything- everything- I have ever loved. I have no friends, Albus. James is dead, Lily is dead. My mother passed away years ago, and my father hardly speaks to me. I’ve lost connection with every bond I’ve ever had. Nobody wants to associate with a werewolf... with someone like me. But it never mattered to Sirius. Never to Sirius. He isn’t the cruel monster he is perceived to be.” He shot Severus an acidic glance then looked back at Dumbledore again. “He is kind and funny and smart. He never got a chance to even try to live a life of his own. He can be good. He is good. My life means nothing without him. I… I am nothing without him. Please, Albus… please help me keep him safe. I'll do anything to protect him... anything...” On the last word, Lupin's voice cracked and he released his hold on the headmaster. He slid to his knees, dropped his face into his readied hands, and cried.

Just then, Snape’s eyes softened a bit at the weeping form of his fellow teacher. He saw something- an echo perhaps- of a time long ago. Of himself as a younger man, pleading with Dumbledore to protect Lily, James, and Harry... but mainly Lily. He remembered the fear- absolute and encompassing- of thinking something bad might happen to the woman he loved. He could see that same horror, that identical panic, etched onto the lines of Remus Lupin’s face. He recognized the desperation in his eyes. The sweat, the tears; the anguish of shame and worry. That little tremble in his voice that spoke words like thunder. Pieces of time passed began to shift into place. Severus recalled subtle things that had long been forgotten, lost to him from ashes of memory. He saw in his mind the way that Remus and Sirius sat side by side in class, almost close enough to touch. The soft looks they shared in the great hall. The way they stood together that night a few years ago in the Shrieking Shack- poised back-to-back to kill the man who’d betrayed them. It was more than he realized. It always has been…

“You love him,” Snape said at last in a matter-of-fact voice that didn’t quite seem to belong to him. The words were nearly echoed from somewhere else- somewhere far, far away. Remus' sobs caught in his throat. He dropped his hands from his face and shifted his bloodshot gaze to the potions master. He wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes and felt his heart hammering in his chest. He swallowed down the long-buried fear and shame with the anxious knot that had settled in his throat. I will not deny it any longer.

“With all my heart," he said in a steady, unwavering, blistering voice.

Albus looked between the two men and realized that they were seeing themselves as equals for the first time. Remus- turned away from society, alone in the world with a demon inside strong enough to kill him. Severus with secrets buried so deep that they'd never see the light of day while there was still breath in his lungs. Ostracized. Underestimated. Unwanted. Neither of them have ever realized that their hearts are mirrors of each-other. Finally, Albus sighed and nodded slowly to himself. He motioned for Remus to stand and the lycan pushed numbly to his feet. The professor downcast his gaze as more tears fell. Severus uncrossed his arms and tried to figure out what it was that the famed wizard was thinking. But, the headmaster was steeled, his blue eyes unreadable as he looked at the weeping man before him.

“What would you have me do, Remus?”

The professor lifted his head and again wiped the tears from his eyes. He measured his next words very carefully. “Make the Unbreakable Vow. I’m not asking you to do the impossible. I know that you can't. I'm just asking that… you do the best you can. For as long as you can. Please, Albus, help me give Sirius his best chance.”

“A very serious request indeed,” Dumbledore replied cooly. He looked from Remus to Severus. For the first time ever, the headmaster saw a bit of pity in the Slytherin’s eyes for the other professor. That seemed to be enough to sway his decision. Albus nodded and extended his hand to Remus. The lycan took a long, deep breath, and shakily placed his fingers around the wizard’s arm. Instantly, Snape pulled his wand and touched the tip of it to where their skin met. A thin thread of golden silk wrapped around their arms and Dumbledore gave Remus a gentle nod of encouragement.

“Will you, Albus Dumbledore, do everything in your power to protect Sirius Black?” Lupin asked in a trembling voice. He relaxed a bit when the headmaster offered him a small, warm smile.

“I will.”

“And will you do everything you possibly can to help him be free again?”

“I will.”

“Very well,” Severus said as the thread binding them began to flicker. He pulled his wand away and looked from Albus to Remus. The lycan met his gaze and the Slytherin gave him the smallest of affirmative nods. “The bond has been created. The vow is complete.”

…

Severus sat in a nearly deafening silence in his office after what transpired in the headmaster’s quarters. He kept seeing it all over and over again in his mind. Remus. Sirius. Albus. Lily. It repeated itself like a bad movie. His own desperation to protect Harry’s mother. How it failed in the end because the Potters’ chose Peter Pettigrew as their secret keeper instead of Sirius Black. He saw the fear in Remus’ hazel eyes… the kind of terror you only understand if you truly love someone. He felt the fangs of envy dig themselves into his skin until it nearly made him sick. He gets the person he loves... and all I have is a ghost...

Severus was so deep in his thoughts that he didn’t hear the door to his office open and then close. He didn’t notice the soft patter of feet as a huge black dog padded over to his desk. Only when the beast transformed from canine to man did it pull Snape from his own mind. He recoiled in surprise but recovered quickly, his beady eyes hollow as he stared into the face of the man he loathed.

“Sneaking around again, are we?”

“Who needs to sneak? The students won’t be here for another few days and the castle is mostly empty- spare for staff and teachers.” Sirius clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth. “I’ve actually come to ask you for a favor- if you can believe it.”

Severus raised an eyebrow in curiosity as he leaned back in his chair. It was then that he noticed some odd little things about Sirius’ features. He looked better fed than he had when Snape saw him last, and he had more color in his face. However... the potions master couldn’t help but note the greening bruises along his neck, the bitemarks that were half-hidden by his collar, and a heavy scratch under his left eye. Almost instantly, Snape realized these were the battle-scars of having a werewolf as a lover. In spite of himself, the depth of Sirius' dedication forced a dash of begrudging respect from Severus toward the man he nearly hated more than anyone else alive. At least he has one admirable quality…

“And what do you need me for? Perhaps something to help with the abrasions littering your body? I’m assuming those bruises hurt quite a lot. Wrestling with your hippogriff?”

“What?” Sirius seemed taken aback. He immediately touched the cut under his eye and shook his head. “No, it’s nothing. I’m actually not here for me.”

“Listening. I’m more inclined to indulge your request if it isn’t a personal one. I do rather enjoy seeing you suffer.”

“Oh, come now, Severus, I thought we were friends?” Sirius teased lightly as he placed his hands flat on the teacher’s desk. He shook his head a bit and Snape could tell from the attempted banter that the Animagus was uncharacteristically nervous. “I need… my own supply of Wolfsbane. As you know, I spend a lot of time with Remus. He’s been staying with me at Grimmauld Place. But with everything going on, he keeps forgetting his potions… and Severus…” the genuine look of concern in Sirius’ gray eyes and the slight tremble in his voice caught the Slytherin off guard... and brought back those pesky pangs of jealousy. “The cycles are getting worse. Harder. They’re taking more and more out of him. I won’t forget to give it to him if I can keep some on me. Can you help me?... Will you help Remus?”

Snape blinked slowly at the man who had spent the better part of his youth tormenting him. Without a word, the potions master pushed from his desk and headed over to a cabinet filled with various elixirs and brews. He opened the doors, picked up large bottle filled with a settled purple serum, and then walked back over to his desk. He opened one of the drawers and pulled out an antique looking pendant in the shape of a crescent moon. Sirius watched, transfixed, as Severus unscrewed the top of the pendant then began pouring the liquid inside it. He emptied the entire bottle- which seemed to be impossible due to its size. He opened his mouth to speak but Snape cut him off.

“This flask has an extension charm put on it. There’s enough Wolfsbane inside the pendant to last him a solid month- maybe longer if his symptoms settle down.” Snape screwed the top of the crescent moon back on and then extended the bottle to Sirius. “I would recommend it on a chain around your neck for safekeeping. It may too easily fall out of your pocket. I'd hate for you to lose such a precious potion. Wolfsbane is... extraordinarily difficult to brew."

“Yes, of course. I can do that.” Sirius took the pendant and then stared at the flask in his hands. He glanced back up at the professor with surprisingly thankful eyes. “I… really appreciate this, Severus. More than you know.”

“Just see that he takes it,” Snape said curtly as he took a seat back at his desk. “I myself am not too fond of Lupin’s werewolf form. He’s nearly killed me in it twice now- if you remember.”

“I… recall,” Sirius murmured. He thought back to the conversation he and Remus had earlier in the summer. It was the day after the tournament ended and Remus had been so lost in the shadows of his lycanthropy, he'd nearly bred Sirius bloody. But in the moments that followed, when his Moon came back to him, they'd ended up talking about Severus and the fragile truce that now existed between them. Remus' soft, wise words echoed in Sirius' mind. It’s a long time coming too. There was never a reason for you or James either one to have treated him the way you did. You did treat Severus badly, Sirius- no matter what you say. You nearly let me kill him once.

Sirius thought about it then- the 'prank' as the Marauders referred to it as. It was a time in his younger years when he played a nasty trick on Severus. He’d goaded him into visiting the Shrieking Shack where Remus was very much his lycan self. And had James not stopped him… Sirius shuttered when he felt the bruises along his body ache. The marks on his skin weren't even from Remus as a werewolf. The damage done to him was while the man he loved was very much still human. And I know how, in part, to tame the beast in Moony. Snape would never have stood a chance...

“I…. never did get to apologize to you for that," Sirius said after a long moment of silence. The sincerity in his voice caught the teacher off guard, and the Potions Master looked taken aback as he lifted his eyebrows in surprise. The former prisoner continued. "It was a terrible thing to do. It was... a dirty trick. And it was never funny. I am truly sorry, Severus. I hope that someday you can find it in your heart to forgive me for my blunders.”

“Perhaps someday,” Severus replied dryly as he drew some ink onto a quill and began to revise his syllabus for the upcoming term. “If there is nothing else?...” Sirius nodded again gratefully and shifted once more from man to beast- the pendant nestled between his teeth. He held the teacher's gaze for a heartbeat longer to show his thanks, then clawed the door to the study open, and slid silently out into the corridor. Severus watched him go and sat in a stunned silence for a while. Eventually, the Potions Master got to his feet, came around his desk, and closed the door. Once his study was private once again, he turned his back to the entrance and stared at the quiet emptiness of his quarters.

His eyes traveled over to the emptied bottle of Wolfsbane on his desk and he felt again that twinge of envy. His heart began to ache with every beat as Severus pulled his wand from his robes. He gave it a swish and whispered the words, "Expecto Patronum." From the end of his wand there came a stream of silver light. A few moments later, the strands of magic solidified into the form of a shimmering doe. Severus watched the hind as she walked gracefully around his study. In his mind, he saw once more the desperation, love, and desire swimming in the pools of Remus Lupin's hazel eyes. He recalled only moments ago when Sirius Black's voice trembled when he mentioned his worry for the charms professor. Love. They love each-other... Angry, jealous tears welled against Severus' lashes. Yet again, his enemy had triumphed over him and claimed the very thing he longed for most. They just want to protect each-other… in spite of himself, pesky, envious, guilty sobs crept up his throat. With a cry of anguish rising on his tongue, Severus stormed through the doe Patronus- dismissing her in a cloud of gray smoke. He bolted over to his desk and shoved the empty Wolfsbane bottle off the tabletop. As it shattered against the floor, Severus sunk down to his knees by his desk, buried his face in his hands, and wept quietly into his palms.

All I ever wanted was to protect her... and I failed.

I failed.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

In the months that passed following Remus’ visit to Dumbledore, Twelve Grimmauld Place was filled with an uncomfortable peace. Sirius kept on him about the Wolfsbane and made sure he took it daily. This made the potency of his lycanthropy wane, but the full moon was three days away now and Remus felt the disturbance in his bones like never before. Also building with the lunar angst, there was another uneasy event eclipsing everything else in their world. Albus specifically told the two men to slow down their communication with Harry. They weren’t allowed to see him in person, he wasn’t permitted to leave the abode of his aunt and uncle, and their letters were to be brief and reviewed by Dumbledore himself before being given to an owl. The restrictions and secrecy, as well as the broken promise of Harry going house hunting with his godfathers, had Remus and Sirius both in uptight spirits.

Sirius woke before the dawn to begin on simple duties for the day. Early on, he set Kreacher to the task of refilling Lupin’s many candy dishes around the house while he himself tended to the dishes, sweeping, and finally started on breakfast. He was determined to let Remus sleep in and rest, so he worked his way through a nearly endless list of domestic to-dos. He was nearly done with an easy middle-of-the-day meal of oatmeal, cut fruit, and scrambled eggs when he heard a crash from upstairs and his heart jumped into his throat.

“Moony?!” he cried as he went rushing toward the staircase, only to find that Remus was bolting down the corridor with a wild look in his eyes. Sirius’ stomach soured as he noticed a letter in his beloved’s hand. “Oh God, what is it?...”

“The owl was delayed. It should have been here days ago,” Remus told him as he rounded into the kitchen and fetched his tattered cardigan off the back of a chair. “Harry’s in trouble with the Ministry.”

“The Ministry?” Sirius echoed as he trailed after his lover. “For what?!”

“Unlawful use of underage magic,” the professor replied as he shuffled over to the stove and scooped up a spoonful of eggs. He shoved them into his mouth. “He used his Patronus, Sirius. You and I both know there’s only one reason he’d do something so foolish.”

“Dementors…” Sirius shuttered as he rubbed the prickling flesh on his arms. He then noticed that Remus was slipping on his shoes and he narrowed his pupils. “Are you going somewhere?”

“I’m going to get Harry. A group of us are heading to Privet Drive.”

“I want to…” Remus glared at him and Sirius hissed through his teeth. He growled in frustration and kicked the side of the kitchen table. “I’m not allowed to go.”

“No, my love… I was specifically asked not to bring you.” Remus reached for Sirius’ hand and the former prisoner twined their fingers despite the angry envy that twisted in his gut. It isn’t his fault… don’t project on him. Sirius sighed in discontent as Remus brushed his thumb over his own. “It seems that the Order will be coming here. Can you get the house set up while I’m away?”

“Yeah, I’ll be a good little housewife,” Sirius muttered grimly as he went to turn away from Remus. His lover grabbed his wrist and pulled him back toward him. Remus lifted his chin and kissed him.

“I’ll be back soon.”

“Be safe. Bring yourself and our godson home in one piece. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Remus echoed as he kissed Sirius once more. Lupin grabbed his wand off the table and then walked quickly out the door. Once he was gone, Sirius kicked the table again, grabbed one of the dining room chairs, and threw it across the room. He ran his hands through his hair in aggravation then forced himself to regain composure. He nodded to himself, swiped his hands over his face, exhaled all the air in his lungs, and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Kreacher!” he called at last as he unfurled from his anger, grabbed up the sweeping broom, and went back to cleaning. “We’re going to have company!”

…

Sometime after Remus left, Sirius was greeted by the presence of Molly, Arthur, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Fred, and George. I’ve never been so thankful to see so many redheads! Hearing laughter and other voices besides the grumbling of Kreacher was a more than welcome addition to the still-warming halls of his childhood home. They cooked and cleaned together and he was thankful for both the aid and the companionship. It was well into nightfall when Remus, Harry, Mad-Eye, Tonks, and a handful of others showed up at the manor. Sirius wanted nothing more than to see his godson, but Remus told him it had to wait and swept him into their designated meeting room while Molly guided Harry upstairs. Once he was settled in with Ron and Hermione, Sirius took his seat at the table.

“Alright,” the Animagus said at last as he bridged his fingers and leaned forward. “Let’s begin, shall we?...” … Remus tried to focus. The meeting was a serious one, and it required a lot of back and forth as well as concentration. However… the moon would turn within the next three days, so his thoughts were already skewed and unholy. Not to mention in the panic of going to rescue Harry, he'd forgotten to take his potion. And to see Sirius once more as part of the Order? Dressed in fine clothes with that beautiful red tunic that I got him for Christmas… Remus sipped on his wine and watched Sirius as he talked. His lover had freshened up while he was away. He'd showered and shaved and now smelt of an intoxicating cologne that drove Lupin wild. It had notes of spiced anise in it and was like cat nip to a feline. His hazel eyes were nearly predatory as he homed in on every movement his beloved made. How he furrowed his brows as Mad-Eye spoke and how his lips curled before he’d talk again. He was aware that Severus said something to upset him, but Remus honestly had no clue what it was. I can’t even focus…

Remus was nearly sweating with desire when Molly and Sirius had a brief quarrel- the low simmering anger in Sirius' gray eyes running him to a fever. By the time the meeting broke, the lycan was nearly melted. He sat unmoving as the other members of the Order left the room to prepare to serve the dinner Sirius and the Weasley crew had slaved over. He watched Sirius push up from the table and he could tell by his demeanor alone that he was aggravated. He knew his lover was eager to greet Harry, but… I just need a few minutes of him all to myself. I'll put him in a better mood. When Sirius began to walk toward the door, Remus shot out an arm and caught him by the wrist with such a firmness that it froze the man in his tracks.

“Yes?” Sirius half-growled as he looked back at the person who held his heart. And then he saw it. The moisture that had formed across Remus’ brow. That feral look in his eyes. The way he was already breathing heavy. And… the delicious rise behind the seam of his trousers. Some of the anger fled from his face as Sirius raised an eyebrow, took the wand from his pocket, and gave it a flick. The door to the room immediately closed and locked before sealing itself with a haze of silver smoke. “Want something?” he teased lightly, holding his beloved’s gaze without so much as blinking. “Just look at you, the mess you are. You’re already in tatters, my Moon.”

“You just look… ravishing today… is all,” Remus said in a hoarse voice as Sirius laid his wand aside and began to slowly unbutton his shirt. “I-I think it’s because you’re wearing the clothes I got you for Christmas… the outfit just looks wonderful on you. That deep red has always been your color.”

“I had to clean up a bit, hm? I couldn’t have so many guests in our home and then look like hell.” Sirius’ eyes twinkled in that dangerous way that made Remus throb. “You know- we currently have an entire house full of people…” Remus’ breath caught in his throat as Sirius closed the space between them and proceeded to slide down to his knees. A bit of his skin was showing and Remus could see the tight coils of his dark chest hair. Sirius reached to Remus’ waistline and removed his belt and then unfastened his pants. Sirius caught Remus’ gaze again and the professor trembled at the fire burning in his lover’s gray depths. “The Weasleys, Kingsley, Mad-Eye, Tonks… not to mention our godson and his two best friends are eagerly waiting for us. And here you are as hard as stone with sweat already rolling down your face. Now, just what am I to do with you?”

“Mmm… whatever you want,” Remus said sheepishly as he adjusted a bit in the chair. It took some of the pressure from his throbbing erection and Sirius’ eyes twinkled with that usual mischievous gleam. “Just… do something, Pads… I’m dying for you…”

“Ooh, God, I love it when you say things like that to me. Usually so timid and shy, professor…” Sirius slipped a hand into Remus’ pants and shifted the fabric of his underwear to pull out what lay behind it. Remus was breathing so hard that he was nearly panting as Sirius teased him with a long lick. “I think I like it. Tell me more.”

“More?...” Remus’ face filled with color as Sirius did something he rarely ever did and pulled a band from his wrist and used it to tie up his inky black hair. Then he placed his hands on Remus’ thighs- palms down- and took him in his mouth… all the way to the skin. Remus sucked in a hard breath and groaned, rolling his head back as he placed both of his hands on the back of Sirius’ head. “Oh… my God…”

“Not too loud,” Sirius warned as he removed his mouth and stared up at Remus, a gossamer line of saliva connecting from his lips to his lover’s tip. “The charm I cast is only to keep the door locked. It’s not a silencer.”

“Cast one then.”

“No.” Sirius shot him that devilish grin and it made Remus shutter. The lycan went to reach for his own wand but Sirius grabbed it from his pocket and threw it across the room. Remus stared at him in disbelief as he gave his shaft another long, luxurious lick. “Keep talking… I like it when you’re wordy.” He then took Remus back into his mouth and ran his tongue along the entire side of his length. Remus dug his fingernails into Sirius’ scalp and the sharpness of it made him moan- something that sent chills up Remus’ spine. When he didn’t say anything, Sirius paused his motion- right at the top so that just the head was on his lips. He raised an eyebrow and Remus whimpered.

“T-That’s wonderful… please don’t stop.” Sirius obliged and went back to work, something that made fresh sweat form on Remus’ face. “I… I love it when you use your mouth like this… you’re just so good, baby…” color filled his cheeks as Sirius groaned around him from the praise. “You make me feel so good…”

“Mmm…” Sirius exhaled and it caused a bubble to pop between his lips and Remus’ shaft. He leaned his head against his lover’s thigh and smiled. His mouth and beard were already soaked with a mixture of his own saliva and his beloved’s arousal. Remus released his head as Sirius wrapped his fingers around his shaft and began to work his hand up and down through the slickness. Remus gasped and then immediately bit his lip to try and mask the sound. “Ah, ah, ah!” Sirius scolded. “I said I wanted you to make noise for me. Talk. Come on, Moony… tell me more.”

“I don’t know what… to say… S-Sirius…”

“Yes you do. Do you like it when I touch you like this?” Remus nodded vigorously as Sirius spat on the top of his hand. “What do you like more? My fingers or my mouth?”

“Your mouth is… m-my favorite. You know that…”

“Tell me, Moon.” Remus’ face filled with color.

“I… want your mouth…”

“Where?”

“I…”

“Moony, tell me or I’ll stop.”

“I want your mouth around my cock. Please, Sirius, I want more.”

“Oh… Remus…” Sirius groaned from hearing such dirty words spill from his beloved’s beautiful ashen lips. Remus never used the word ‘cock’- not unless I goad him into it. It was always something that Sirius held in his vocabulary. So to hear him say it on his own like this?... So willingly? Sirius shivered. But he wasn’t done yet. He loved to make his puppy beg. “I don’t think you want it badly enough.” He pulled his hand away. Remus gasped in dismay and jolted out of the chair.

“Sirius, damn you!” he snarled as his lover peeled away from him and got to his feet. Sirius smiled in that crazy way that drove Remus wild as the lycan grabbed him by the belt loops and pinned him against the table. Sirius groaned as his beloved thrust his shaky hands into his hair and forced it out of the bun it was in. Remus shoved his tongue into Sirius’ mouth and kissed him fiercely as Sirius unbuttoned his pants and pulled his throbbing length out and began to stroke it. Remus pushed Sirius back on the table and dropped a hand from his head. He pulled Sirius’ pants down around his ankles and grabbed his thigh. Sirius had sweat beading his brow as he lifted his hips off the table to accommodate his lover’s desire. Sirius helped guide Remus’ still soaking length until the tip found its goal and, without even a bit of hesitation, Remus pushed inside of him.

“Oh, fuck…” Remus groaned around Sirius’ tongue and the ex-prisoner let his head fall back- tendrils of saliva lacing him to his lover. He smiled that dangerous smile as Remus started to thrust rhythmically in and out of him. “Fuck, fuck, fuck… God, it’s so good…”

“I must be. I don’t ever hear you use muggle curses like th-this,” Sirius nearly purred as Remus pushed all the way inside until they were pressed tightly skin to skin. “Oh fuck- that’s so deep, Moony…”

“Yeah it is,” Remus whispered as he claimed Sirius’ earlobe between his teeth and gave it a delightful bite. He pulled out just a little then pushed back in even harder and held himself there. He rotated his hips in a circle and Sirius dug his fingernails into Remus’ shoulders with so much force that the professor felt it even through his shirt. “I love being deep inside you, Sirius. I love making you squirm like this underneath me. I love fucking you.”

“Yes, my darling…” Sirius moaned shamelessly before he bit his lip to try and keep his voice down, his cheeks flushing with color at Remus- his precious, sweetheart- speaking to him with so much filth on his tongue. “God, I crave you…”

“Wanna cum?” Remus whispered as he began to thrust again and Sirius nearly saw stars in his vision from the force of each entry. “Hmm?... Does my pretty puppy want to cum?”

“What?” Sirius was nearly ill with pleasure. He reached his arms behind his head and gripped the edge of the table as Remus did what he always did when he wanted to claim him. He bit into the mosaic of scar tissue in the nook between Sirius’ shoulder and neck and held the pressure until he nearly drew blood. Sirius gasped, grunted, and groaned as he brazenly pushed his hips up to meet Remus with every rhythmic pound. He lost control of his composure and was fighting back screams for his lover. “Moony, sweetheart… I… I…” he wasn’t sure why he said what he said next, but as sweat rolled down his face, he licked his lips and with a shaky voice asked, “Professor Lupin, may I cum… please?” Remus froze and Sirius could actually feel the goosebumps littering his skin. An animalistic growl rumbled from Remus’ chest and he dug his fingernails into the table top. Sirius was aware that Remus’ teeth had broken skin and the pinpricks of the pained pleasure pushed him over the edge.

Sirius climaxed so hard that it drove the breath from his lungs. He gasped and wriggled helplessly under Remus and shamelessly bounced himself off his lover’s thighs again and again to drive the sensation deeper. Remus went rigid against him and he snarled as one of his hands shifted from the tabletop to cup Sirius’ cheek. Sirius grasped Remus’ shirt and groaned, tears glossing his eyes from the depth that the lycan was inside of him as he hit his peak. Sirius felt himself fill then overflow and he collapsed under his beloved just as Remus released his bite. For a moment, the two just stared into each other’s eyes. A mixture of blood and sweat ran from the corner of Remus’ mouth and dropped onto Sirius’ exposed chest. Faintly, ever so, Sirius was aware of the nearly euphoric sound of something dripping into the floor. Then he realized it was Remus’ cum that was spilling from inside him. And it made him weak in the knees. Remus brought a shaky hand to the bite on Sirius’ shoulder and his eyebrows furrowed in concern.

“Honey, I…”

“Don’t apologize. Remus, I’m in so much bliss right now… I can’t fucking think straight.” Remus’ cheeks flushed with color and he nodded in spite of himself as he ran a finger across the crescent moon shaped necklace that was lying askew on the tabletop by Sirius' neck.

“I… I really liked it… when you asked for permission… you’ve never done that before.”

“I could tell- that you liked it…” Sirius winced and Remus looked so concerned that it made his heart ache.

“Are you okay?...”

“You’re just really deep…” Sirius said in a husky, needy voice that made Remus throb again. “I don’t want you to pull out. I’ll be so empty.”

“I’ll fill you again later…” Remus kissed Sirius softly this time and then nuzzled his nose with his own. “If you ask nicely.”

“Ooh… maybe I’ll beg,” Sirius teased as Remus gently, ever so gently, removed himself from his lover. “Or maybe I’ll play hard to get again. You were so rough with me…” he shivered. “But then again, how can I pretend not to want you? You’re insatiable.”

“Says you…” Remus stumbled across the room and picked up his wand from the floor. He waved it over himself and instantly cleaned and dried. He gave his head a shake and tucked a stray bit of graying hair behind his ear. Sirius, still soaked in sweat and dripping, sat up on the edge of the table and stared at the man he loved with adoring gray eyes. He flicked a finger at Remus to summon him closer and the lycan obliged. Sirius pulled Remus into a tender kiss as the professor tapped his wand against Sirius’ knee. Instantly, he was clean again and looked as ravishing as he had a few moments prior. They broke the kiss reluctantly and Remus bit his lip. “Merlin… just looking at you has me ready to go again.”

“Later,” Sirius promised in a whisper as he carefully slid off the table and slipped his wand back inside his pocket. “As for now, let’s go have dinner with our godson, hm?”

“Absolutely…” Remus replied as he bashfully slid his fingers into Sirius’ own and headed toward the door. Sirius raised an eyebrow at him in surprise.

“You’re ready? For the Order to know?...”

“The Order already knows!” came an annoyed voice from the other side of the wall. “Be grateful the kids are arguing upstairs. The entire bloody damn house heard you!” Remus’ face flushed with color as they opened the door and peered out a very not-amused looking Mad-Eye. And behind him… a very amused looking Tonks. Moody scoffed at them and then headed down the corridor toward the kitchen- where Molly was leaning against the doorframe with a sickened look on her face. Tonks covered her curling lips with her hand and chuckled.

“Please don’t be upset,” Sirius reasoned with his cousin, but she just shook her head at him.

“When Remus told me… he had feelings for someone else and that we weren’t going to work- I didn’t take it to heart. I understood. But to be honest, I knew for a long time it was you, Sirius. And today… I saw how he was watching you during the meeting. I hope that one day, I find someone who looks at me the way Remus looks at you. I think you’re blessed, cousin,” she told him with a smile as she gave Sirius a playful punch on the shoulder. “Now come on you two… everyone's hungry and we have a lot to discuss. Oh, and Sirius?”

“Hm?” he lifted his eyebrow.

“I’d maybe do something about your hair. Looks like you just got your brains fucked out.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The first official dinner of the Order of the Phoenix was initially filled with good conversation and laughter. But then Harry started asking questions and tension replaced the previous comfort and mirth. At some point, Molly and Sirius had boiled over and ended up arguing with one another to the level of nasty comments and snide remarks. And then she’d gone too far. (“It isn’t up to you, Sirius, to decide what’s best for Harry! You weren’t around this entire time- you were locked in Azkaban. *I* was the one who cared for him. He might be your godson, but he’s all but mine.”) Sirius was so angered by Molly’s words that he left the table with half his dinner still on the plate.

Now, the redheaded witch approached him cautiously as he stood in his late brother’s room, shoving shredded bedding into a garbage bag. “Sirius…”

“I’m glad Harry has had you all these years,” Sirius began dryly as he grabbed a handful of mattress fluff. “Truly, Molly- I am thankful beyond understanding that he has you and your husband to lean on. I’m so glad that you were able to provide him with family and comfort. A mother’s love. A father’s guidance. These were the basic things he deserved. And I’m so happy he befriended your son.” He was quiet for just a moment as he coughed from the dust. “Also, he has a bit of a crush on Ginny- if you hadn’t noticed.”

Molly watched the former prisoner with watery eyes as he continued to shovel items into the bag. She rubbed her shoulders lightly. “Harry’s just a boy, Sirius… I meant what I said at the table. He doesn’t need to know everything...”

“I never planned to tell him everything!” Sirius whirled around, his gray eyes wild. “I’m not a complete idiot, Molly, despite what you and other members of the Order might think. Do you not realize that Harry is my priority as well? That I love him too? That his wellbeing is all that matters to me?” He didn’t give her time to answer. “You have other children, Molly. You and Arthur have an entire house to care for. I have nothing but Harry. He is the only thing I have to me in this world besides Remus. They are the only family I have- the only family I will ever have.” Sirius’ voice began to tremble. “I lost everything fifteen years ago. My best friends, my future, my freedom, my life…” he looked away from her and let the trash bag fall to the floor. “Remus and Harry are all I have, Molly.”

“I…” Mrs. Weasley was red in the face as she nervously wrang her hands. “I understand, Sirius, but you’re putting too much faith in him. Too much pressure on him. He’s a boy- still in school. He isn’t grown like you think he is. He isn’t James.”

“Of course he isn’t,” Sirius replied evenly, his voice cold. “James is dead. I know that. James was snarky and hotheaded… and mean, when it suited him. Harry is much more of his mother. He's his own person. And I’m thankful for it. But you have to understand, Molly… that he’s not just a boy either. He saw Voldemort reborn. He saw Cedric die in front of him. He’s been attacked by Dementors countless times. He fought a Basilisk and won, Molly. He’s seen horrors we can’t even begin to comprehend. I’m not telling you not to worry about him, or not to care… but don’t you ever think for even a second that you’re the only person who loves him. Because you’re not.”

Molly held Sirius’ gaze for a moment in silence before she cleared her throat. “I’m sorry… for the things I said…”

“It wasn’t my choice to go to Azkaban, you know,” Sirius told her after a long while. He glanced down at the floor. “I didn’t want to not be around for him... I think about it a lot. Do you have any idea how often I dream of sitting beside Remus while Harry plays Quidditch? Or just, I don’t know… walking him through Diagon Alley like a normal parent is supposed to? I should have been there when he got his broom and his wand and Hedwig- not Hagrid… God bless that man though. I’ve missed birthdays and Christmases and Halloween parties. I wasn't there for his first crush and hell, maybe his first kiss. His failures. Successes. Triumphs. Battles. You don’t have to remind me how much of Harry’s life I’ve missed out on, Molly. I know that I have. And it haunts me every single fucking day.” Angry, pesky tears glossed Sirius’ eyes and he turned away from her.

“S-Sirius, I…”

“I am irrational. Dangerous. Impulsive. Wild. Crazy. I am all the things you think of me and more, Molly… but I would never, ever, ever put Harry in harm’s way. And it breaks my heart that you don’t see that.” Molly’s eyebrows furrowed and she went to place a hand on Sirius’ shoulder but he pulled away from her.

“Please… just go.” Sirius heard the witch sniffle and the floorboard creaked as she left the room. Sirius just stared blankly at the wall with tears rolling down his face. Gentle arms wrapped around him and he very briefly thought it was Remus but then he realized the touch was unfamiliar to him. He turned around and came face to face with his cousin.

“Remus and Harry aren’t the only family you have now, you know,” Tonks told him with a small smile. “I can be your family too, if you want.”

“Oh, you sweet thing you…” albeit a bit hesitantly, Sirius drew Tonks into a hug and held her close. She squeezed him gently and the strands of her hair turned a tangerine orange. Then she pulled back and offered her cousin a bright, warm smile. “As if you don’t have enough on your plate between the Auror job, teaching, and being a member of the Order. Trust me when I tell you that you don’t need my baggage.”

“We all have baggage, Sirius,” Tonks told him softly. “It’s easier to carry with a bit of help.” Her eyes sparkled as she gave her cousin a playful shove. “I’m going to give the kids a hand with the mess from dinner. But if you need some support… reach out to me, okay? It’s what real family is supposed to do.” She offered him a smile then turned on her heels. Sirius chuckled a bit when she hit her shoulder on the doorframe on the way out.

When he was alone, the Animagus slid to the floor beside Regulus’ bed and brought his knees up to his chest. He buried his head in the valley between them and began to sob silently into the fabric of his pants. Molly’s words echoed in his mind and threatened to drown him out. He started to second guess everything. Should Harry come live with us? A former prisoner of Azkaban and a werewolf?... Such great parents we’d be. Maybe I am just a liability… maybe I’m too far gone…

“Padfoot?” The euphoric, gentle, comforting voice drew Sirius from his thoughts. He lifted his head, his eyes bloodshot and face wet, to find he was staring into the adoring gaze of Remus John Lupin. The professor was in front of him, balanced on the balls of his feet, with concern and love etched into the lines on his face. “Oh, honey…” without a second of hesitation, Remus leveled his knees on the ground and brought Sirius into a hug. The moment that Black’s cheek nestled into Remus’ chest, the tears came again. He gripped his lover desperately and sobbed, his shoulders shaking with the effort it took to breathe. “Shh, darling. I’m here. I’ve got you…”

“Am I a bad person, Moon?” Sirius asked through his weeping. Remus gripped him tighter and it just made Sirius cry more. “Remus, am I?!”

“No, you’re not a bad man, Sirius Black. Do you hear me?” Remus pulled back and took his beloved’s face in his hands. He forced Sirius to look at him and he brushed his thumbs through the tears on his face. “You’re a very good man that’s been through… very bad things. The world is not divided into just black and white, my love. People are not just good or bad- they are a blend of so many things. You are so many pieces of feelings and thoughts and emotions. You are wonderful. You are mine, do you hear me?... You are mine.” Remus ran his thumbs over Sirius’ lips then kissed him. Instantly, some of the anxiety that was fluttering in Sirius’ heart began to still. He closed his eyes, his breath still trembling in his lungs, and wrapped his fingers around Remus’ wrists. He kissed him back as if the embrace was the lifeline providing blood to his veins. Sirius broke the kiss and leaned his head into the nook between Remus’ shoulder and neck. The lycan rubbed his lover’s back comfortingly and whispered soft affirmations into his ear. You are kind, you are wanted, you are important, you are loved. You are kind, you are wanted, you are important, you are loved…

“Remus?”

“Yes?” He kissed Sirius’ neck.

“Will you make love to me?... I want to forget… I just want to feel safe.”

“Of course, darling.” The tremble in Sirius’ voice broke Remus’ heart. He kissed the small of his neck again and Sirius shifted.

“Not here. I can’t… in Regulus’ room. Come… Let’s go to bed.” Pushing to his feet, Sirius took Remus’ hand in his own and began to guide him across the corridor to their living quarters. Sirius was faintly aware of Molly, Tonks, and Arthur talking rather loudly downstairs- (“You disrespected him in his own house, Molly! Honestly, Harry lives with those horrid muggles and you’d think *Sirius* was the one abusing him…”) Sirius felt anxious waves of unease creeping up his spine but Remus yanked him backward just as they reached their bedroom.

“Don’t focus on any of that, do you hear me?” Remus growled in his ear as he pinned Sirius against the wall. Sirius nodded and Remus pushed their bedroom door open. The professor closed it and then took his beloved’s face in his hands. He kissed him- a long, sultry, enchanting kiss. He worked the buttons on Sirius’ shirt as he walked backward through the room until his knees hit the side of their bed. Remus pushed him gently onto the blankets and traced slow, gentle hearts around his chest. Sirius was breathing heavy, but Remus knew it wasn’t from desire. Not yet. Sirius’ fingertips brushed his skull and Remus smiled as he laid his head against the hardened seam of his lover’s pants.

“You still with me, Pads?”

“Yeah,” he replied in a distant voice.

“I’m here,” Remus whispered as he started to unfasten Sirius’ belt. “I’m right here, Sirius. Where are you?”

“I don’t know…”

“Come back to me,” the lycan said softly as he pushed the gray trousers down. Sirius nodded to him and gently propped himself up on his elbows. He watched Remus take his length into his mouth with tired, void gray eyes. As soon as he was against his tongue, sparks of true feeling started to bubble up inside of him and Sirius let out a genuine gasp of breath. He leaned his head back and groaned.

“Moony, y-yes…”

“Better?” Remus whispered, removing his mouth for only a second before going back to work. Sirius watched him with adoring eyes.

“Y-Yeah… so much better…”

“Do you know what I think about all the time?” Remus asked as he pulled his head back and then kissed the scar along Sirius’ thigh. The Animagus shivered and tilted his head.

“Hm?”

“We’re so hot and heavy for each-other now… in our thirties with scars and life-worn faces. Can you imagine how horny we’d have been if we’d just been together back in school?” Sirius couldn’t help but smile in spite of himself. He chuckled and nodded when Remus took him into his mouth again.

“Oh, God, Moon… anyone who shared a sleeping space with us would never have gotten any rest. I’d have dragged you out to that passage under the Whomping Willow and we’d really have made that old building a Shrieking Shack, huh?...” Sirius watched Remus with adoration on his face. Pesky tears built up again and he growled at himself in aggravation. Lupin noticed the streak roll down his lover’s face and pulled back from his pleasing.

“Honey?...”

“I’m sorry… I’m just… in my head…”

“We can stop?”

“No, no, please… it’s one of the only things that makes me feel better. You’re one of the only things that makes me feel better…” Sirius trailed when Remus began to kiss his way back up his body. He ran a finger across the crescent moon shaped pendant around his neck then straddled Sirius’ lap and brushed his nose against his lover’s own.

“Where’d you get this from? This necklace? I only noticed it here recently.”

“Found it in my mum’s old things,” Sirius replied as he gave Remus’ lips a soft kiss. “Seemed to be a bit of good luck… and I can use all the help I can get…” Sirius lost his train of thought when Remus claimed his earlobe in his teeth. He groaned when the lycan ran his tongue from the bottom of his ear to his neck and took the delicate flesh there between his fangs.

“Oh… not too rough, Moon… be easy with me right now…”

“As easy as you like,” Remus promised as he gave Sirius another long, deep, soft kiss. He moaned lightly when Sirius found his tongue and embraced him desperately. In the next heartbeat, Sirius worked his lover's pants off and eagerly stroked and lavished his heat until Remus gasped for breath and broke the kiss. Remus saw something on Sirius’ face he had only ever witnessed a handful of times. He’d seen it a long time ago when they’d first kissed out in the forest. A deeply rooted, primal, suffocating fear. Sirius’ eyebrows furrowed and he pressed the tip of Remus’ length under his groin.

“Inside… please… I’m so empty,” he said in a detached, faraway voice that made Remus’ heart hurt. The lycan nodded softly and gave his fingers a lick. He ran the wetness across the top of his length and then placed a hand on either side of Sirius’ head. The former prisoner kissed his wrist as Remus pushed carefully inside of him. Sirius grasped at his lover’s shirt, pulled the sweater over his head, and tossed it aside. He stared at Remus’ scarred, beautiful torso and traced the newest abrasion- a cut nearly a foot long that ran from just under his left nipple all the way down to his naval. He didn’t meet Remus’ gaze as he found his pacing. “Ah, yes… Yes… My Moon, yes…”

“Look at me,” Remus whispered and the former prisoner lifted his head. The broken haze in his gray eyes caused tears to well along Remus’ lash line. “There you are. My beautiful boy.”

“I’m not,” Sirius said in a voice that didn’t sound like it belonged to him. He didn’t look away. Remus watched as Sirius closed his eyes and tilted his head back after a few more heartbeats. “Deeper, love… fill me up.”

“Anything for you,” Remus whispered as he kissed Sirius’ throat and obliged, pushing himself further inside with each stroke he made until there was nothing between them- just skin on skin. Sirius was making soft, delicious noises that sent chills up Remus’ spine. Despite the intimacy of the moment; of the concentrated pleasure and euphoria of the sensation- Remus couldn’t lose himself in the craze. There was something more tedious here. More delicate. He needs me.

“I love you,” Remus told him as he nudged Sirius’ head with his hand. The former prisoner opened his eyes and Remus saw only the smallest shine in his gaze. His gray depths were dull and distant as his lips parted and he offered the faintest of smiles.

“I love you too.”

“I love you with all my heart,” Remus repeated and this time, he saw the strength in Sirius’ eyes flicker.

“I-I love you the same.”

“You’re beautiful. You’re doing such a wonderful job,” the professor ventured a bit further and saw color fill Sirius’ cheeks from the affirmation and praise.

“T-Thank you… I…”

“Is this what you needed, my love?” Remus asked softly and Sirius nodded.

“Yes.”

“Do you feel empty still?”

“No. Never when I’m with you,” the Animagus replied honestly as he began to move his hips with Remus’ thrusts. He had faint stars in the corners of his vision from the depth of each stroke, but every twinge of discomfort and spark of pleasure brought a sense of euphoria that he was trying desperately to bury himself in. He met Remus’ gaze and saw an intense love and desire burning there that nearly brought fresh tears from his eyes.

“Oh, Remus… it’s perfect…”

“I’ll protect you,” Remus promised him as he cupped Sirius’ face. This time, the tears did come. A few of them rolled over Sirius’ lashes and ran new lines across his cheeks. “Ah, I’ve got you, Padfoot. I’ll never let you be empty again.”

“Promise?” Sirius asked in a hushed, small voice that Remus barely heard, nor recognized. The lycan nodded and claimed his mouth with a kiss again.

“I promise, Pads.”

Sirius wanted to say more. He wanted to scream and cry and shout. He wanted to close his eyes and let Remus make love to him until the perfect match of their bodies numbed out all outside pain. He wanted to drown in Remus’ cologne, his scent, his kiss, his tongue. He wanted to leave all of the hurt in these sheets so that maybe his beloved could melt them all away. You are everything to me, he thought, but when he tried to say it, the words didn’t come. Just more tears. You’re my lantern at night when I’m lost. The wolf that guides me through the dark. The moon in my starless sky. You’re my entire world, Remus John Lupin… and I love you completely.

“Give it to me, Sirius.” Remus’ words pulled the Animagus from his thoughts. He realized that the tears hadn’t stopped and that he was gripping Remus’ wrists with desperate force. He stared into his lover’s eyes- unwilling to look away. He was close. So close that it was painful and his breath was coming in jagged, uneven waves. Remus held his gaze and kept that hand on his cheek. “Give in. Let me take some of it for you so it won’t be so heavy.”

Tonks’ words echoed in his head. It’s easier to carry with a bit of help. Then he heard Remus’ soft, breathy, needy whisper. Let me take some of it for you so it won’t be so heavy. Everything boiled over at once and Sirius’ could barely breathe. Molly’s anger, his own rage toward himself, his resentment, his bitterness, his longing. The time lost, the memories voided, the secrets broken. Raw, vulnerable, and aching, Sirius couldn’t stop the tears from flowing down his face as the climax crept in from the most empty parts of him. He clutched Remus desperately and kissed him, whispering heartbreaking things into his mouth as he rocked himself against the man he loved. He was hopelessly lost in it all- clawing at every shred of comfort and tenderness he could grasp onto in the abyss that threatened to swallow him whole.

“That’s it, that’s it… shh… I’ve got you…” Remus rolled over on his back and gently removed himself from Sirius. His lover was breathing hard as he took him in his arms and held him closely from behind. He could feel Sirius’ heart drumming against his chest as he kissed the top of his head and curled around him in a ferociously protective circle. Sirius cried and hyperventilated until there was nothing left of him to spill. Finally, after what felt like hours, he turned his head to look into the face of the man he loved as Remus pulled the blankets up around them. Remus, ever patient and adoring, smiled at him softly and ran his fingers through Sirius’ inky black hair. “I’m right here,” he promised him as he kissed his lips again. “I’ve got you. It’s okay. Nothing can hurt you here, do you understand? I won’t let it.”

“I know you won’t,” Sirius said after a while. Slowly, he turned to face Remus and pushed his lover on his back so that he could lay against his chest. Sirius listened to the wild beating inside of Remus’ ribcage and closed his eyes. “I’ve never felt so kindred to anyone or anything before… I don’t feel so… empty… when I’m around you.”

“We were always meant to be together,” Remus told him gently as he brushed his fingers across Sirius’ shoulder. “Padfoot and the Moon.”

“Padfoot and the Moon,” Sirius repeated as threads of sleep began to wrap around him. “Hey, Remus?...”

“Yes, love?”

“Please… be here when I wake up.”

“I will be, Sirius, I promise. Tomorrow… and every morning that is to come.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Remus walked beside Harry as scattered members of the Order guided the trio of Gryffindors along Platform 9 3/4s. Brushing against Remus' fingertips was Padfoot, the black dog panting happily as his claws clicked against the concrete. Despite his anxiety over Sirius being out of the house and in the open, Remus shyly had to admit to himself that it was nice to be walking with Harry on one side of him and Sirius on the other. Even if it wasn't completely the way he would have liked. As they came to the train, Remus scratched Sirius affectionately behind the ears and then stepped inside. He turned around and watched with bitter tears in his eyes as Snuffles reared back on his hind legs and placed dinner-plate sized paws gently on Harry's shoulders. Then Molly shooed him away and Sirius stepped back until he was at Mad-Eye's side.

Lupin took his leave and sat in a compartment by himself as Harry bid farewell to Hermione and Ron- who were off to the Prefect portion of the train. Remus had only just settled into his seat when he heard a loud commotion from the other cabs. He looked out the window and felt his heart nearly skip a beat. Padfoot was running alongside the train, barking and wagging his tail as he raced against the Hogwarts Express. When the platform cut off, he stopped and stood at the end with wind blowing in his fur and joy glistening in his yellow eyes. Remus wanted to be mad at him. He wanted to hate him for being so reckless. But all he could see was the rapture of freedom on the wild dog's face as Molly Weasley approached him and grabbed him roughly by the scruff. As she yanked him backward, he only felt pity for the man he loved... and just the smallest twinge of admiration for a heart as bold as his. 
...
Remus woke to Ron giving him a shake. He didn't even realize he'd fallen asleep. He bolted upward too fast and felt his head swim as he snatched his suitcase from the storage compartment and headed swiftly off the train and into the throng of chaos. He managed to make it to the castle in one piece and took his place at the staffing table next to McGonagall- whom he nodded to politely in greeting (and also partial apology for being late). But Minerva seemed less than thrilled to see him- which was unusual. He followed her pointed gaze over to someone he didn’t directly recognize. Until he did. Remus’ heart dropped when he realized he was staring at the small, toadish face of Dolores Umbridge.

“What’s she doing here?” he hissed under his breath to the Transfiguration Teacher. “Oh, don’t tell me…”

“She’s been assigned to us to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts,” McGonagall replied coldly. “Brace yourself, Remus. It’s going to be a long year…”

Minerva trailed as Albus began to speak. Remus listened earnestly to what he was saying. He held his usual mirth and greeted the students warmly. Then he rolled into introducing Professor Grubbly-Plank as a stand in for Hagrid to teach Care of Magical Creatures, as well as… Then Dolores opened her wide mouth. Remus felt the blood in his veins starting to chill as she interrupted Dumbledore to warble on about progress, tradition, and change. To his right, Professor Trelawney shifted uncomfortably in her seat with every word Dolores spoke. Albus dipped back into the conversation once Umbridge had finished speaking, talked for only a few moments more, then clapped his hands and began the feast.

Remus found he now didn’t have much of an appetite, even as Minerva pushed some chicken toward him. He stared down into his plate, seeing himself reflected loosely in the lake of gravy atop his mashed potatoes. He heard the soft sound of someone clearing their throat and Sybill let out an alarmed squeak beside him. Remus tucked a stray piece of hair back away from his forehead and lifted his gaze to meet the square-shaped, toadish face of Dolores Umbridge. Forcing himself to offer a smile of greeting, Professor Lupin bridged his fingers and nodded politely.

“Welcome to Hogwarts,” he told her with a tone of false warmth to his voice. “I’m…”

“I know who you are,” Dolores interrupted without ever breaking her sugary sweet smile. “Remus John Lupin- is that correct?”

“It is.”

“And you taught Defense Against the Dark Arts a few years back?”

“I did in fact.”

“But you do not any longer.”

“Apparently,” Remus replied with a thin smile. Beside him, Minerva nearly choked on her wine. She regained her composure, sat the glass she was drinking from down on the table, and dabbed at her mouth with a napkin. Dolores seemed less amused and pursed her lips into a straight, hard line. She made a soft, chuckled noise in the small of her throat and clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth.

“So why exactly are you still employed here?”

“Oh, I teach basic charms and tutor students who are struggling,” Remus responded simply enough, though he was starting to sweat a bit under the collar. He noticed very briefly out of the corner of his eye that Hermione, Harry, and Ron were watching his interaction with Professor Umbridge closely as they pretended to eat. “I quite enjoy my post actually. I love helping the children get a better understanding of their…”

“And you are, in fact, a werewolf. Correct?”

All of the color drained from Remus’ face. He noticed that Harry clenched his fists but he gave him the smallest shake of his head to tell him not to react. Remus focused his gaze again on the flat face of the woman in front of him and found her beady eyes were nearly more predatory than his became on full moon nights. He cleared his throat and tucked back another piece of hair that had escaped from behind his ear.

“I… am.”

“Interesting,” Dolores said simply with a nod of her head as she turned to face Dumbledore- who had paused mid-bite into a spoonful of lemon custard. “Why, may I ask, are you employing someone like… well… I mean, of his particular racial caliber?”

“Professor Lupin is a wonderful teacher,” Dumbledore replied simply as he sat down his spoon. “His students adore him and anyone who has taken his tutoring course has improved remarkably. He is over-qualified for the job, as he was a Prefect in his year and has taught classes here before. I would mark Remus among one of the most valuable assets to this school. That is why I employee someone of his caliber.”

Umbridge just smiled in that eerie, animalistic way at Dumbledore and chuckled. “We will see.”

Despite how grateful he was for the defense, Remus could feel the color filling his face. He was aware of a few prying gazes from students- as Dolores had made no attempt to quiet her voice. One of his most aspiring pupils, Henrietta Clayborne, was looking at him with worry in her eyes and the pity on her face was too much for him. Remus stood up from the table without having touched his plate and folded his napkin on top of it.

“Pardon me, but I believe I need some air,” he said quietly as he dipped toward the gathered teachers. “It was a delight to officially meet you, professor.” He extended his hand to Dolores, who stared at it as if touching his fingers would make her burst into flames. After a heartbeat, Remus drew his hand back to himself and turned on his feet. As he went brushing by the other staff, Professor Flitwick tried to reach for him. The two were good friends and co-taught charms together.

“Remus…” the smaller man whispered but Lupin kept on. He felt every eye on him as his tattered shoes clicked on the stone floor of the Great Hall.

The lycan broke into an unsteady run once he made it to the corridor and didn’t stop until he made it to his quarters. He slammed the door shut, slid down to the floor, and covered his face with his hands. I want Sirius… Anxiety dug its icy claws into Remus’ chest and he began to heave with every breath he took. He scrambled over to his desk and grabbed a quill but then realized that the letter wouldn’t be safe to send… and would take too long for a response. I need him now.

Remus crawled over to his fireplace and used his wand to make a spark. “Accio powder,” he said sternly and a little velvet bag came whizzing over to him. Remus snatched it out of the air and grabbed a handful of Floo Powder from inside. He tossed it into the flames and the fire flickered. He inhaled deeply, the breath trembling in his mouth.

“Snuffles…?”

“Moon?” Sirius’ voice came immediately. The imprint of his beloved’s face appeared in the flames and instantly Remus’ resolve shattered. He broke into tears and covered his mouth with a hand to stifle his sobs. “My Moon! What is it?”

“It was a mistake for me to come back this year,” Remus told him in a strained voice between his weeping. “Oh, Snuffles… The Ministry has dug its grimy talons into Hogwarts. Our new Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher is Dolores Umbridge.” Before Sirius had time to respond, Remus continued. “She walked right up to me at the teacher’s table and started hounding me about being a werewolf. I was so embarrassed, I-I… I just want to come home.”

“Oh my love…” Sirius’ voice was so soft and strained, the pain and low-simmering fury in it was nearly palpable. “You can come home anytime…”

“I need to be here for H-Harry… and I don’t want to even think about heading back there right now considering… well… her arrival. It means the Ministry is watching, Snuff… I shouldn’t even be talking to you right now. It’s too risky- I just… I just needed you…”

“Behaving rather reckless, aren’t we?” Sirius teased, but Remus could plainly hear the bitterness in his voice. A pang of regret seared through Lupin and he blinked the tears out of his eyes. “So… you’re going to stay there then?” He sounded so miserable that Remus nearly wanted to lie to him. He just nodded. “How long until I see you again? I thought we were wanting to go house hunting soon?... I... I can come to the cave...”

“Absolutely not!” Remus snapped and Sirius hissed in aggravation. “After that stunt you pulled at the platform, you shouldn’t so much as breathe outside of the house until Albus says so.”

“So I’m going to just… be here alone with Kreacher and Buckbeak until… whenever?”

“Can you just be there for me?! For like ten fucking seconds without making a pity party for yourself?” Angry tears spilled down Remus’ face. Before he even gave Sirius time to respond, he waved his wand over the fire and the flame- along with his lover’s face- disappeared. 
…
Remus woke the next morning to the sound of frantic knocking and arose with an unsettling pit already forming in his stomach. He’d fallen asleep on the floor of his office and his head hurt like mad. The rasping of knuckles came again, and it brought him shakily to his feet. He stumbled over to the door and opened it, expecting Dumbledore, one of the trio, or even Umbridge herself… but instead, much to his surprise, found himself looking down into the worried, dark eyes of Professor Flitwick.

“Remus! Are you alright?” asked his friend in a concerned tone. “I was worried you’d come in here to drink yourself into a stupor. I covered your first class of the day. Do you want me to take the nighttime courses as well?...”

“Good Lord, is it that late?” panic swelled in Remus’ chest as he turned on his heels and began frantically gathering up his syllabus and start-of-term papers. “Thank you so much, Filius… I’m so sorry I dropped the ball already. I-I…”

“You were understandably upset,” his fellow charms teacher replied softly. “She had no business talking to you like that- and in front of the entire school, no less! She’ll be a nightmare to us all, that woman…” he gave a small shake of his head. “She hates Muggleborns and half-breeds alike.” He adjusted his glasses as Lupin straightened up the desks around the room. “Remus, I really can take over classes for the day. I don’t mind at all…”

“I won’t give her that satisfaction, Filius,” the lycan responded as he exhaled all the air in his lungs and pulled on his sweater to straighten it. “My next course is still at 3pm?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll take them,” he replied softly as he turned his gaze toward his friend. “Thank you for helping me out this morning. I appreciate you so much more than you know.”

“Anytime. Us rejects are in this together, hm?” Flitwick teased gently as he gave Remus a nudge. The smaller man turned and left the room, his heels clicking softly against the floor as he went. Remus kicked the wall in frustration- mad beyond belief at himself for making such an egregious slip up on the first day of term with Dolores skulking around. She’d derailed him, of course, but he’d allowed his frustration to boil over and he’d taken out his contempt on…

“… Sirius,” the word left Remus’ mouth softly as the events of the night crawled back into his memory. He covered his mouth with his hand when he recalled how they’d ended their conversation. Why did I snap at him like that?... Remus wanted nothing more than to send Sirius a letter of apology, but it was clear he was already on Umbridge’s hit list and he absolutely did not want to draw any sort of attention to 12 Grimmauld Place. Remus sighed, walked over to his desk, sat down in his chair, and stared blankly at a piece of parchment. He willed words of remorse to just appear upon it- and rewrote an apology over and over again in his mind until three o’clock rolled around and his students entered the classroom.
…
The next few weeks dragged on in agony for Remus. He had made no attempt to contact Sirius- worrying for his safety- and had received no notice from him either. He thought of asking Dumbledore to contact him somehow, perhaps via portrait or Floo network, to see if he was okay… but every-time that Remus made his way to the headmaster’s office, he felt idiotic for thinking to bother Albus during such a stressful time with something as insignificant as a lover’s quarrel. This distance between them was making him anxious. Sirius and I haven’t gone a day without talking to each-other since we came back together at the end of Harry’s third year… this is torturous...

Lupin stared down at Henrietta Clayborne’s paper for Snape and furrowed his eyebrows. Yes, she’d listed the entirely wrong items for the Sleeping Draught, but he also realized he wasn’t even focusing on her essay. He kept wandering off in his own mind, imagining some place safe and warm with Sirius staring at him. His gray eyes were adoring and not at all filled with fear or anger. Sunlight shone through Sirius’ peppered hair and lit the silver strands on fire. He brushed his thumb over Remus’ lips and whispered something to him. He was happy. They were happy… Remus’ eyes fluttered closed and he crossed his arms over his desk. He laid his head on the cool wood and sighed, letting an uncomfortable sleep take him to somewhere out in the country where there was no Umbridge, or Voldemort, or the Order of the Phoenix. Just him, Sirius, and Harry. And we are happy.
…
Gripping a letter in his hand, Sirius pulled away from the fireplace- an angry expression glossing his face. He’d just spent the last ten minutes talking to Hermione, Harry, and Ron about what was going on at Hogwarts. Umbridge is on a warpath… His gut twisted with regret. He wished he’d handled the conversation better- both of them. The one he had with Remus a few weeks ago, and the one he’d had just now. He didn't have time to ask Harry how the Charms Professor was doing- he hadn’t even gotten to tell him that they weren’t speaking. Sirius, bored and worried for the people he loved, suggested desperately to meet with the trio in Hogsmeade as Snuffles but they’d all denied him the idea. And in his anger… he said something he instantly regretted. [James would have met with me in a heartbeat.]

“Why the fuck did I say that?” Sirius growled as he placed Harry’s letter on the table and then kicked the chair in aggravation at himself. Sirius ran a hand through his gnarled, unkempt hair. “God, why did I say that?! I keep getting upset because everyone says that I see Harry like a reborn James, and I've been denying that… but then I say shit like this? What the fuck is wrong with me…” he began to pace the kitchen anxiously, his stomach tying into knots. More than anything, Sirius longed to leave the confines of Twelve Grimmauld Place and head straight to Hogwarts. To see Harry and apologize. To see… his heart dropped.

“Remus…” Sirius half-groaned, half-sobbed. He couldn’t stand how they’d left things. They’d had their little disagreements before, sure, but they always made up in the end. This was different. This felt different. Bitter regret twisted itself into the lower part of Sirius’ stomach and he sunk down to the floor in shame. Remus called out for me, against his better judgement, because he wanted my comfort. And, in usual Sirius Black fashion, I fucked it all up… Maybe he's right. I just throw these little pity parties for myself. I get so wrapped up in my own feelings, I forget about anything else… he deserves more than that…

Tears formed on Sirius’ lashes as he leaned his head back against the chair he kicked all the time. He closed his eyes and imagined that his Moon was here in front of him. He could hear himself spilling an apology as he wrapped his arms around the man he loved. [“Darling, are you alright? I love you and I’ve missed you so much. I’m *so* sorry, Remus. Please, forgive me…”] Sirius wanted this so badly it nearly hurt. He could almost smell Remus’ cologne, light and floral- an inexpensive scent he’d dab just under his jaw and on his wrists. He longed for his touch so much so that Sirius imagined he briefly felt it on his cheek. But when the Animagus opened his eyes again, there was nobody there. I’m all alone.
…
Dolores Umbridge stood at the back of the classroom as Remus passed out the results of a quiz over the difference between Animagi and werewolves. Of course this is the lecture she chooses to shadow me on… he thought bitterly as he made his way back up to the front of the class and leaned back on his desk.

“Everyone did quite well on their essay portions,” he told the class- which consisted of only eleven students this time. This was the tutoring course for those in year three who were struggling. “I’m very impressed that you all managed to do such a good job of recognizing signs of lycanthropy. Five points to Ravenclaw for your vivid descriptions, Margot,” he called to a dark-haired girl with green eyes. She smiled proudly and gave a nod of her head.

Umbridge cleared her throat and Remus had to fight with every bone in his body not to glare at her. Instead, he smiled a bit and lifted his head. “Yes, professor?”

“Is it truly fair to grade them for being able to decipher the attributes of a werewolf?” she asked in her usual pitchy, overly girly voice. “Can’t they just look at their teacher and copy down adjectives?”

Remus felt a cold chill winding up his spine. In front of the class, Henrietta bristled with anger but met Lupin’s eyes and he shook his head at her slightly. “There is a lot more to lycanthropy than meets the eye, professor,” he replied coolly. “As well as there is to being an Animagus. In fact- one of our school faculty is an Animagus. Can anyone tell me who and what their animal form is?”

A row of hands went up and Remus selected the student he saw move first- a lanky boy with dark skin and coiled, black hair. “Yes, Ian?”

“Professor McGonagall, sir,” said Ian. “She’s the only registered Animagus of her year. Her animal form is a black and gray tabby cat.”

“Fantastic!” Remus praised warmly. “Five points to Slytherin house.”

“Ahem!” Dolores cleared her throat again and Remus turned his head sharply toward her.

“Yes… professor.”

“Why do you think it necessary to discuss the likeness of lycanthropy and Animagi? Why is this a subject matter that the children need to know?”

“It was a prevalent part in Defense Against the Dark Arts when I taught it,” Remus replied simply. “And seeing as there is still a chapter in the book you assigned to your students about both Animagi and werewolves, I thought it important to elaborate on the subject to increase the chances of success during O.W.L. exams…”

Umbridge laughed a bit at this, covering her mouth with her hand. “There won’t be anything about Animagi or werewolves in my classes, professor. I fear you’re wasting your time on the matter. You see- I only teach my students things that are important to their education. Studying beastly creatures and how to identify them is hardly a practical subject, wouldn’t you agree?”

Remus felt like he’d been kicked in the chest. He held Dolores’ gaze quite evenly. “Considering that I, in fact, am one of these so-described beasts, professor… I believe it quite practical indeed. Anyone can get bitten by a werewolf and turned into one at any time.”

Dolores scribbled something down on her clipboard then smiled up at Remus again. “Nonsense. Werewolves don’t just sneak into populated areas and attack children.” Lupin couldn’t help it- his jaw dropped down.

“Really? Because that’s exactly how I got bitten. I was a child… and Fenrir Greyback climbed into my bedroom window and attacked me in my sleep.”

The room was so quiet now that Remus could hear his students breathing. Dolores didn’t even look away from his face as she wrote something down on her clipboard. Then, she dipped her head to him, turned on her heels, and clicked obnoxiously out of the room. Once the door was closed, Remus realized he’d been holding his breath. He exhaled the air in his lungs and deflated against his desk.

“Professor?” Henrietta whispered but Remus just shook his head.

“Class is dismissed early today,” he told them all in a shaky voice. “Enjoy the rest of your afternoon… I’ll see everyone on Wednesday.”

The students exchanged glances then began to pack up their things. Henrietta, Margot, and Ian delayed for a short time- holding their belongings in their arms and staring at Remus with worry in their eyes. When he didn’t lift his head to meet them, they eventually decided to leave. When the door closed, Remus grabbed the inkwell off his desk and threw it as hard as he could against the ground. The glass shattered and the floor covered with black, syrupy ink. Tears filled his eyes when the dark color reminded him of Sirius’ hair.

Again, he remembered their last conversation… their argument. Can you just be there for me?! For like ten fucking seconds without making a pity party for yourself? Remus’ stomach twisted into knots. He thought of something then and it made him nearly ill. Twelve years. Sirius sat rotting in Azkaban prison for twelve years. Alone, scared, angry, hurt, betrayed… Then he got out and travelled all by himself- wanted by the entire Wizarding World. He can’t live where he wants, go where he wants, do what he wants, be around who he wants. He has to hide every single part of who he is unless he’s inside the four walls of his abusive mother’s house. And all he can do is watch the entire world exist outside without him… I’d be reckless too… I’d be hurting too… He slid down against his desk, covered his face with his hands, and cried.
…
Remus leaned into a warm kiss from Sirius. His lover brushed those calloused fingers across his cheek and grasped his chin to hold him steady. The taste of his tongue was dark, sweet, and intoxicating. Remus felt heat so intense it threatened to burn start to bubble up inside him. The smell of rich anise overpowered him and the distant aroma of bourbon lingered on Sirius’ skin. Remus’ thoughts were fuzzy and warm as Sirius broke the kiss and brushed his nose against the professor’s own.

“I love you, my Moon,” he whispered in that gravely, needy, sinful voice that always brought Lupin to his knees. Remus could have purred as he kissed him again.

“I love you too, Padfoot… so, so, much…”

“Remus! Remus wake up!” Anger instantly replaced the mirth that was welling inside of him. Remus’ eyes flew open and he was determined to kill whoever had pulled him from the comfort of his dream. But then… he saw the panic-stricken face of Professor McGonagall. He sat up in his bed and rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

“What is it, Minerva?...”

“It’s Harry! He’s had some sort of nightmare. Says Arthur is in danger.” Without a moment of hesitation, Remus grabbed his night robe from the hook on his nightstand and slung it over his shoulders. He and Minerva raced down the darkened corridors in silence, their hearts pounding and faces grim.

By the time they made it to Dumbledore’s office, all of the Weasley children and Harry were gathered around a cauldron on the headmaster’s desk. Albus made a motion for Remus to come over and he did. He placed a hand on the handle next to Harry just in time for Dumbledore to finish counting. There was a pulling sensation behind his bellybutton and then all of them were flying through the air, whirling endlessly in a circle of colorless sound. Remus hit the ground so hard that the breath drove from his lungs. When he opened his eyes and his vision focused, his stomach twisted again. I’m home.

“What happened?!” Sirius’ panicked voice was groggy as he helped Ginny to her feet and then made his way around the room. He paused when he got to Remus and for a moment, the lycan feared he would turn away from him. But then they grasped hands and Sirius pulled his beloved to his feet. He kept a hold on his wrist for way too long before releasing it and rounding on Harry and Ron. “Tell me!”

And so they did. Hearing the explanation of it all- from Harry’s dream to Arthur being taken to Saint Mungo’s- nearly made Remus vomit. He took a seat at the table beside Fred and watched Sirius take in everything he was being told. The professor sat in numb silence when the twins argued with the Animagus about rather or not they got to leave the manor. Then a letter appeared and Molly’s warning to stay put came with it. Sirius eventually took a seat across from Remus- an untouched cup of tea in his hands. The two watched each other but didn’t speak for hours until Mrs. Weasley finally came through the door and brought the best of news- Arthur was going to live!

Remus watched fondly as Molly and Sirius seemed to patch up their disagreements and hugged warmly over an act of welcome. [“No need to thank me, Molly- I’d watch the kids anytime. Family, aren’t we? Yes, yes, please stay here as long as you like! Through Christmas?! Oh, I’d love that! The more the merrier. We can put up a tree and I can make us some old-fashioned sweets…”] Finally, after a celebratory breakfast feast, Harry pulled his godfathers aside and told them the sticky truth of it all. About how he’d dreamed of the attack on Mr. Weasley from the viewpoint of the snake. He also included the anger he’d felt toward Dumbledore and how he feared for himself, his sanity, and his soul. Sirius and Remus did their best to comfort him but there was little warmth to be provided for something as cold as this. It took a while, but eventually the two of them had gotten Harry down for bed. And then, finally… they were in the kitchen alone.

Remus stared at Sirius with tears of great regret already welling on his lashes. His lover looked awful. He had dark circles under his eyes and his hair seemed as if it hadn’t been washed or combed for weeks. His face was bridged with unkempt stubble and his clothes had a musk that showed they hadn’t been washed for quite some time. Sirius, likewise, could hardly meet Remus’ eyes. His cheeks were hollow and his skin ashen. He looked like he hadn’t gotten a decent night’s sleep in weeks.

“I’m sorry,” they both said at the same time. Candlelight flickered and caused the shadows on Lupin’s face to deepen.

“I should never have spoken to you like I did,” Remus told him softly. “I… I can’t imagine what it’s like… having been locked up in Azkaban for so long, Sirius. And then to finally get a taste of freedom only to have it torn away from you again… locked in the home of your racist, horrid family with only a crazed house elf and your mother’s screaming portrait for company…” Remus shook his head. "And I'm sorry I haven't reached out to you. I wanted to, Sirius, I did... but Dolores has had her eyes on me since the introduction dinner. And then she's been so glued to Harry and when he told me the other night about how she almost caught you, I..."

“Enough, love. I understand. There's nothing to forgive," Sirius said cooly as he came around to the other side of the table. Remus turned to face him with his heart in his throat. With shaky hands, the Animagus reached for his beloved and cupped his cheeks. “I can’t imagine what it’s like to be a werewolf. And I am so sorry she talked to you that way…”

“It got worse,” Remus told him in a low voice, even as he leaned adoringly into his beloved’s palms. “She shadowed one of my classes- when I was talking about identifying lycanthropy, of course… and didn’t like the subject matter or my teaching style. I’m on probation and now I can’t teach independently. Flitwick and I have to hold class together.”

“What?!” Sirius’ eyes stretched wide. “Moony, that’s insane!” Remus nodded then continued.

“I take it you heard about what she’s been doing to Harry?”

“Disgusting,” Sirius hissed, his eyes darkening. He kept his hold on Remus’ face and sighed. “I’m so sorry I haven’t been around for you all… I… I didn’t know what would be the safest way to reach out. I've hardly been sending letters, and like you said- Umbridge almost caught me the other day in the fire…”

“I was nearly sick when Harry told me that,” Remus whispered, his breath trembling as he leaned in toward Sirius. He could hardly think straight with the former prisoner's gorgeous hands on his face and that mad twinkle in his eye. “You have to be careful, Padfoot. Stop being so… so..."

“Reckless?...” Sirius could take it no longer. He pulled Remus into a kiss and instantly felt the entire world melt away. Remus gasped from the heat and desperately sought his lover’s tongue. The next moments flew by in a blur. Sirius tore through Remus’ nightshirt and ran his hands across every inch of his torso he could find. Remus trailed his lips to Sirius’ neck and bit him, sinking his teeth into the scarred patch of skin atop his collarbone. Sirius groaned and the sound brought chills up Remus’ spine.

“God, I missed you,” Sirius whispered as he kissed the top of Remus’ head. “But hey, we really s-should… move this somewhere more private though, shouldn’t we, Moon?... Our house is full of people, I…”

“I don’t care,” Remus said in a desperate voice as he finally removed his teeth from Sirius’ skin. He looked into his lover’s eyes, grabbed his face, and kissed him. “I don’t care about any of that. Just you.” The kiss deepened and Sirius let himself get lost in it. Remus pushed his lover back against the table and then began to tear at the buttons of his shirt. Sirius whispered something Remus couldn’t make out as the lycan kissed soft, burning circles across his skin. He took time to lavish both of Sirius’ nipples in long, deep, velvety licks before continuing down his body. He pulled his beloved’s pants down and adoringly ran his fingers through the curly, thick hair that blanketed his legs.

“Never again,” Remus whispered as he kissed from Sirius’ left knee up to his hip. He could see the chill bumps blanketing his darling’s skin and it made him smile. “We never do this to each other again.”

“A-Agreed,” Sirius said in a husky voice as Remus took him in his mouth. “Ah, fuck!” Sirius bit his lip to keep his voice down as he placed a hand on the back of Remus’ head. The lycan was covered in gooseflesh and groaned around the length in his mouth as he eagerly bobbed his head up and down. He’d nearly forgotten what Sirius tasted like. Nearly. The throbbing heat fit against his tongue like it was designed to be there. He closed his eyes and relished every single inch as he forced himself to take it as far as he could. When the tip of Sirius’ length buried itself in the back of Remus’ throat, the lycan opened his eyes and peered up at his beloved with bleary eyes. To his surprise, Sirius looked like he was on the verge of tears.

“I-I’m okay,” Sirius promised him as he saw the look of concern on Remus’ face. “I’m fine. I just… really missed you. I was scared I’d fucked up really bad, Moon. I was scared I’d lost you… I…” Sirius’ breath left his lungs when Remus pulled his mouth away, leaving tendrils of saliva and arousal lacing the two of them. The professor stood and looked down at the man he loved. He grasped Sirius' face again and brushed his thumbs over his lips.

“You won’t ever lose me,” Remus promised. He licked the wetness from his lips and kissed him. “Not unless I die.”

“I’m dying first, joke’s on you,” Sirius whispered as he kissed Remus again. The embrace turned feverish quickly. Sirius pulled down Remus’ pajama pants and leaned back on the table. He let the lycan overtake him and he shifted to allow him access to any part of his body he wanted. It took only heartbeats for Remus to find what he needed and push inside of him. “Oh my God, yes…” Sirius gasped as he broke the kiss. He leaned his head back against the wood and found his darling’s eyes- hazel hues bright with adoration. “Fuck, I-I think I’m going to cum already…”

“Don’t you dare,” Remus whispered in a teasing voice as he took Sirius’ earlobe between his teeth. Sirius groaned and squirmed helplessly underneath him when Remus stopped thrusting and just held himself inside- all the way in and dangerously deep. He released Sirius’ ear and kissed burning circles across the side of his neck. “Not yet, Pads… I don’t want it to end yet…”

“All because I finish doesn’t mean it’s over,” Sirius said in that gravely, needy tone that drove Remus wild. “I haven’t had you bruise my throat in months…”

“Don’t say stuff like that. You’ll push me over,” Remus chuckled as he licked from one side of Sirius’ jaw to the other. He kissed him again. “I’m pretty close myself… I missed you and you feel incredible…”

“Mmm…” Sirius had stars in his vision. The depth of Remus inside of him, the smell of that sweet cologne, his breathing, his tongue, his teeth… his cock. The former prisoner moaned in delight when Remus slowly began to thrust in and out of him again. Sirius locked his ankles around Remus’ waist and pleaded with himself internally to keep his voice down when Remus leaned over him with one arm and used the other hand to pinch his nipples lightly.

“M-Moony…” he groaned through gritted teeth.

“Not yet,” Remus whispered as he kissed Sirius again. “How close are you?” he asked and his hot breath burned Sirius’ skin and brought him even nearer to climaxing.

“Ah… extremely… f-fuck…” he panted.

“Do something for me, love?”

“Hm?” Sirius murmured as his eyebrows furrowed with the effort he was exerting to keep himself from tipping over.

“Touch yourself,” Remus whispered in his ear and the words brought Sirius back to euphoric reality. He looked at his lover with wide eyes.

“W-What?...”

“I want us to cum at the same time.” He kissed Sirius softly once more. “Please. I…” he shuddered. “I-I can’t hold on much longer, Pads…”

With his heart hammering in his chest, Sirius sheepishly moved his left hand down his body and took his own heat inside of it. He gasped when he felt how slick he still was from Remus’ mouth. He began to stroke himself in a long, steady motion and felt his blood beginning to boil. It was all too much. Remus inside him, the heat in his hand, the burning kisses, the pressure on his nipple, the desire etched in his beloved’s voice. He glanced up and saw that Remus was watching him with tears in his eyes. The lycan blinked but didn’t look away.

“Y-Yes, Padfoot… Just like that… good b-boy…”

“Good boy yourself,” Sirius said hoarsely though the words barely made sound in his throat. “It f-feels… so good, Moon… I…” He kept his gaze steady on Remus’ own. It was the first time he didn’t have to fight with his beloved for the professor to keep his eyes on him. “I’m right there…”

“Me too…” Remus leaned down and claimed Sirius’ mouth with a kiss. “Give it to me, love. Now.” The gentle demand in the lycan’s voice pushed Sirius overboard. He came with a fury that brought fireworks of color in his vision. As a mess of cream spread across his stomach, Sirius released the grip he had on himself and dug his nails into Remus’ shoulders. His darling kissed him deeply, panting a bit around his tongue as the climax rocked him to his core. He kept his thrusts long, deep, and steady until he was emptied and had nothing left to give. When Remus opened his eyes, he saw tears were beaded on Sirius’ lashes.

“You o-kay?" he whispered as he brushed the drops away. “Sirius?”

“I love you,” the former prisoner told him in a soft, trembling voice. He caught Remus’ hand and kissed his fingers. “You make me want to be a better man.”

Remus felt his face fill with color. He was nearly blistering from the heat in Sirius’ gaze. He kissed him, shifted his hips slightly, and removed himself from his lover. Sirius winced when Remus left him- aching already from the void where the professor had just been. He reached for Remus desperately and pulled him down atop him again, lavishing his lips with luxurious kisses. Sirius’ heart was starting to pound in his chest once more when a noise from the staircase made them bolt away from each other. Remus scrambled for his wand only to find that he’d left it at the school. Sirius found his quickly and waved it between them. Instantly, they were both cleaned and left in normal, non-tattered pajamas. They sat swiftly in chairs side by side, and Sirius placed his hand on Remus’ thigh as the lycan picked up Sirius’ cold cup of tea and sipped at it.

Ginny shuffled into the kitchen and yawned a greeting. Remus smiled at her as he swallowed the chilly brew down, masking a disgusted expression. “Need something?” he asked her and she shyly snatched a pastry from a dish on the far end of the table.

“Sweet tooth,” she replied with a smile as she sunk her teeth into the tart. “These are very good, Sirius.”

“Apple is a favorite of mine. Tweaked my mum’s old recipe a bit. I’m glad you like it,” Sirius responded- his voice holding only the faintest notion of a tremor. “Spot of milk will seal the deal. There’s a jug in the ice box.”

“Thanks!” Ginny said happily as she headed off to collect a cup for her drink. Remus glanced over at Sirius, leaned in, and kissed his cheek. Ginny walked back a moment later, glass and pastry in hand. She sheepishly glanced at the two and then paused mid-way through the room. “Can I… Can I ask you both something?”

“Hm?” Sirius raised an eyebrow, his face flushing with color when a bit of warm liquid ran down his right thigh. “What is it?”

“How… I mean… when… did you two… you know?... become a thing?”

“I’ve always had feelings for Remus,” Sirius told her honestly. “From the moment we met.”

“I thought he was a stuck-up prat,” Remus responded with a chuckle. “But I had feelings for him too. Right from the start.”

“Did you tell each other?” Ginny asked and Remus tilted his head in amusement.

“No, not when we were younger. There were signs- I think. I believe we were both pretty obvious about it, but oblivious to each other. I confided to Lily about it once or twice… she encouraged me to tell him the truth.” Sirius was gaping at Remus- as this was new information to him. “But he was a playboy in school. Always had a gaggle of girls chasing at his heels. He had a few girlfriends here and there.”

“Oh,” Ginny said softly, her cheeks turning red as she took a sip of her milk. “So you haven’t always been… er...” she changed her words. “I mean. You’re not only into…?”

“Oh, no,” Sirius chuckled. “I’m not gay. Remus isn’t either.” The professor nodded. “I think it’s bisexual, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Ginny replied with a small smile curling her lips. “Did you ever tell anyone about your feelings for Remus?”

“I told James,” Sirius admitted and now it was Moony’s turn to look shocked. “A couple of times. Made some slick, very inappropriate comments.” Ginny chuckled at this. “He told me to go for it. Of course- now I realize that he and Lily were trying to push us together. I wish James would have just told me that Remus liked me… I would have made a move sooner. I was just scared to ruin our friendship at the time.”

“Same here!” Remus laughed. “I was so scared to mess it all up…”

“So… it can work then?” Ginny whispered and they both turned their gazes to her. She was suddenly very interested in her glass of milk. “Dating someone who has been your friend?”

“It works quite well for us,” Remus responded softly. He reached out the hand he didn’t have on the teacup and touched Ginny’s arm. “Have… you ever thought about just telling Harry how you feel?”

Ginny instantly looked alarmed, her eyes wide. “I'm seeing someone else," she said defensively. "And besides, H-Harry fancies Cho…”

“Mm…” Remus gave her a small nod. “Take it from two people who spent over a decade apart from one another… if we could do it all again, Ginny… we wouldn’t waste a single moment. Just think about it, hm?” The redheaded witch nodded slightly and gave Sirius another small smile.

“Thank you again… for the pastry. And the advice,” she said gratefully to Remus before she took another bite of the tart and headed upstairs. When she was gone, Lupin leaned back in his chair and rolled his head over to look into his lover’s eyes. They both started to laugh.

“That was close,” Sirius chuckled as he took a pastry for himself and bit into it. “A touch too reckless, weren’t we?”

“Sometimes it’s good to be reckless,” Remus told his beloved as he kissed him on the nose. “Now… let’s go to bed. It’s been a long day and we could both use a good night of sleep.”

“Who says we’re going to sleep?” Sirius teased, his eyes sparkling with mischief. As he pulled his Moon up from his seat, the two of them twined their fingers. They headed up the staircase to their bedroom with playful expressions on their faces; leaving the half-eaten pastry and cold cup of tea behind on the table.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The following days were filled with a mixture of things: chaos, laughter, worry, and joy. Everyone (except for Sirius, of course) went to Saint Mungo’s to visit Arthur. Sirius was absolutely elated to hear that he was in good spirits and slowly recovering. Harry withdrew for some time after coming back from the hospital- even though his godfather tried to comfort him. Eventually he thawed thanks to Ginny and Hermione, and Sirius was quite grateful for it. After all… this was lining up to be the best Christmas he’d had since school. A dark green pine tree stood full, tall, and bright in the corner of the living room. Sirius had been delighted when everyone brought various ornaments to hang on it and the tree’s branches glittered with tiny, twinkling, flameless lights. Remus and Sirius worked tirelessly all the way through Christmas Eve to transform the usually grim atmosphere of Grimmauld Place into something downright merry. Decorative garlands lined the hallways, railings, and doors. Colors in gold, silver, and deep red colored the entire house and left it feeling cozy and warm.

Remus’ allergies were threatening to kill him from the endless amounts of dusting he and his lover had dove into, but the end result was beyond worth it. Instead of dirt and grime, magical snow fell in dusted sheets from different corners of every room. The rich, dreamy smell of gingerbread lingered in the air, and Sirius had an endless banquet of sweet treats stacked upon the dining room table at all times. It was bright, warm, and inviting in a way that the Black family home had never been. So the night before Christmas was met with bubbling excitement and a genuine joy that was nearly palpable it was so strong. After all the presents were wrapped (Sirius had insisted he and Remus do it by hand with tape and scissors instead of using magic), placed delicately under the tree, and everyone in the house was sleeping- the pair of them sat on the sofa by the fireplace with cups of steaming hot chocolate. In his typical obsessive fashion, Sirius had his free hand on Remus’ knee as he watched the flames crackle and pop in the hearth. Remus sipped from his cup and ran his tongue over his mouth to lick away the chocolate that clung to his lips.

“This is so nice,” Sirius said at last, breaking the cozy silence with an even warmer statement. “The house full, the decorations, the laughter, the joy… Ginny has been such a blessing in the kitchen. She helped me make those wonderful toffee scones we had for lunch.”

“Oh, they were divine,” Remus sighed thoughtfully as he toyed with the idea of getting himself a plate of pastries. “It truly is wonderful. Do you think… once we have our forever home, it will be like this?”

“Well of course it will be!” Sirius beamed as he sat his cup down on the end table. “We’ll have big dinners once a week- perhaps on Sunday?... We can invite everyone. The Weasleys, the Kingsleys, even Mad-Eye. And it will be just like this, Remus. Fred and George will be silly and drive Molly wild, and Harry and Ron will sit and play wizard’s chest for hours. The only thing that will be a bit off putting is that we’ll need to really clean the house ourselves considering that Kreacher will still be stuck here… not that I’m complaining. I wouldn’t call the lack of his service a loss.”

“Where is Kreacher, anyway?” Remus asked curiously, though honestly his mind was too blissful with the thought of a giant family dinner in a home that Sirius hadn’t been abused in. “Haven’t seen him since the night Arthur got attacked.”

“I’m sure he’s sulking somewhere. Mad because the blood-traitor Weasleys are all here,” Sirius replied absently as he sipped his hot chocolate again. “I’m not complaining.”

“Nor am I,” Remus replied as he scooted in closer and leaned against Sirius. The Animagus wrapped an arm around him and kissed the top of his head. The two were silent for a moment, watching the embers in the fireplace bounce around. “Hey, Padfoot?...”

“Hm?”

“I… I miss James and Lily.” Remus felt Sirius’ breath hitch but then he nodded.

“Me too, Moon… I’d love for them to be here right now. We’d have such a good time, the four of us. Wrapping presents for the kids, baking, drinking hot chocolate and cider, reminiscing. Do you remember our first Christmas together? When we were in school?”

“Of course. It was the best holiday I’d ever had.”

“Me too!” Sirius smiled wistfully. “James got you those red and gold socks- the gingham designed ones. You wore them until they were littered with holes.”

“I kept them, you know,” Remus chuckled. “Even after they were tattered all to hell. I think I still have them buried in my suitcase somewhere.”

“I still have every gift they ever gave me,” Sirius murmured. The two were silent for a moment. “Is it worse… do you think… to have loved them, known them, and miss them… than to only cling to the idea of what you might have had?...”

“I think it’s a toss-up, if you ask me. Painful all around.” Sirius and Remus both jumped as Harry shuffled into the living room, wearing gray checkered pajama pants and a baggy t-shirt that read ‘Go, Go, Gryffindor!’ in faded maroon lettering. Sirius blinked apologetically at his godson but Harry just offered him a smile as he sat down on the floor by the tree. He had a cup in his hands and took a sip from it as he watched the fire crackle. Harry looked at his godfathers with curious green eyes. “Can we… talk about them? My parents?”

“Of course we can,” Remus replied as he sat up and readjusted himself so that he could drink more of his hot chocolate. “What do you want to know?”

“Oh, anything.”

“Hmm… what about how we met your dad?”

“That’s a good place to start,” Harry replied warmly with another sip. “Tell me all about it.”

“We were first years, all of us,” Sirius began. “I got onto the train late. My mother was fussing over me ‘upholding the family values and honor’. All that bullshit.” Harry chuckled and nodded. “And all the other compartments were taken- full to bursting. So I squeezed my way into a car with three other kids. It was your dad, your mum, and Severus.”

“Snape?” Harry echoed incredulously.

“Snape was your mother’s best friend,” Remus told him lightly.

“What?” Harry looked as if he’d been hit with a bludger. “He was her friend?”

“Best friend,” Sirius corrected. “They grew up together, were practically neighbors. It was actually Severus who told her she was a witch. She had no idea- as you know your mother was the first of her kind in her family… er, that we know of, anyway.” When Harry nearly dropped his mug, Sirius couldn’t stifle his smile. “But anyway, we’ll discuss that later. Let me finish one story at a time.”

“Right,” Harry agreed as he leaned back, his hair catching a bit on one of the tree branches. He pushed the nettles away. “Go on.”

“So I sat down and James instantly introduced himself to me. I knew of him, of course. The Potters were a rejected part of the Sacred 28- 29, then? We’d heard a lot about them growing up. He treated me kindly and we instantly hit it off. Snape and I got into an argument immediately…”

“Because of course you did,” Remus groaned and Sirius chuckled.

“Then when we made it to the school, we all got sorted into Gryffindor. Except for Snape- not that I was too tore up about it. It was a big deal for me to not be assigned a Slytherin. My entire family, and most of the branches of it too, are in Slytherin house.”

“You’re the only Gryffindor in the entire Black family?” Harry asked softly and Sirius nodded.

“Directly anyway. Tonks doesn’t necessarily count.”

“I keep forgetting you two are related.”

“Second cousins,” Sirius said thoughtfully as he sipped on his drink. “Same with the Weasleys- I’m trying to remember how. Mm… second cousins too, I think.” Harry shook his head, but he was smiling.

“How’d you meet mum and dad, Remus?”

“When I was sorted into Gryffindor,” the professor replied lightly. “I met your mother first, actually. We had potions together and she helped me a lot. One day, I think two weeks in or so… I was eating by myself and James sat beside me. And then Sirius beside him. We introduced ourselves and well- that was that.” Harry had a very soft look on his face as he sipped from his cup. He swallowed down the hot chocolate then peered at his godfathers for a moment before speaking.

“I’m sorry… that you both lost your best friends. Your family, really.”

“We all lost them,” Remus replied gently. He placed a hand on Sirius’ knee. “But we have each-other now, hm? We’ll keep them alive with our own family.” Remus thought he saw Harry smile for just a moment.

“When we have our forever house… can we make a little tribute for them somewhere?”

“I think that’s a brilliant idea,” Sirius told him with a painful smile. “It won’t be home without them.” The next few moments were quiet. Not even in a sad way. Just… quiet. After several minutes, Sirius cleared his throat. “Say, Harry… why don’t you open one of your presents early?”

“But tomorrow’s Christmas,” his godson replied with a soft chuckle, some of the previous heaviness forgotten. “Isn’t that the whole point- to wait?”

“Well, yes,” Remus chimed in, a small smile on his lips. “But when we celebrated Christmas with your parents, we always opened one present each the night before. Helped to build the angst.” He pointed to a palm-sized box wrapped in shiny blue paper. “Pick that one.” Without a moment of hesitation, Harry took the present in his hands and eagerly pulled the parchment off. He tossed the wrapping paper aside and opened the lid. His eyes brightened as he took out what lay inside it. It was a miniature golden snitch. The moment his fingers brushed it, the little winged ball started to flutter around his head like a spherical hummingbird.

“It’s a practical present, Harry,” Remus told him. “It’s a secret holder.”

“A what?” Harry asked curiously.

“A secret holder,” Sirius repeated. “You can tell it things- only a few sentences at a time- and it’ll hold it for you and deliver the message to whoever you intend it to go to. But it will only play the message for who it's designated for.”

“So we have a way to communicate,” Harry realized with widening pupils. “Brilliant!”

“Smart lad,” Remus chuckled. “But, Harry… it is well after midnight. And as you said, tomorrow is Christmas. Perhaps you should head to bed, hm?”

“But I want to stay up. I don’t get to talk to both of you together a lot. I like hearing about mum and dad. I like talking to you.” Harry’s green eyes were so much like Lilys’, Remus knew he’d lost the battle instantly when his godson blinked at him desperately. “Just a while longer, please? Sirius?”

“Asking me? Hoping I’ll back down after Remus told you to go to bed? Do you think I’m a pushover?” Harry wondered for a moment if he’d actually angered his godfather. But then Sirius winked at him. “Eh. Alright. Just this once. Now, what would you like to hear next?"

“Anything!”

“Okay, okay. One time, your dad and I were practicing spells. But, it went wrong and Remus didn’t have eyebrows for two weeks…” …

The three of them stayed up until the first pale rays of dawn started to illuminate the Noble House of Black. Remus and Sirius switched from hot chocolate to mead at some point in the hours of taletelling and their recollections became so vibrant and animated that Harry had laughed until his sides hurt. They told him adventure after adventure and Harry was shocked to hear how mischievous Remus was in his youth. [“I didn’t know the spell would actually work! I certainly didn’t mean to turn Frank Longbottom’s hair blue!”] From the Shrieking Shack to pranks on the other houses, to the Marauder’s Map, all the way to James and Lily’s wedding… The stories of their friendship with his father warmed him more than the fire ever could. Harry couldn’t help thinking it was the best Christmas present he’d ever received.

By the time sleep finally took them, Sirius was spread chaotically across the couch with his legs hanging off one end and his head crooked on a cushion with one of Harry’s ties around his head. Remus was curled up neatly on the other side, his lanky legs tucked underneath him with his shirt mostly unbuttoned. His left arm, however, was still reached out to touch Sirius. His right arm, along with Sirius’ right hand, were dangled off the couch- brushing against Harry’s side. The student had fallen asleep along the couch’s front, his hair in a tussle and glasses crooked on his face. It was a very touching family scene that Tonks walked in on as sunlight dappled through the room.

“Oi, boys.” She prodded Harry’s leg with her foot. The young Gryffindor student groaned and rolled over so that he was facing the couch. When his godson moved under his fingers, Sirius’ bowline furrowed and shifted so that he was touching Harry again. “Hey, you lazy bums! It’s Christmas!” she said, much louder this time as she gave her cousin a shove.

“James, please…” Sirius grumbled and Tonks couldn’t help but offer him a sad smile. “Just a little longer…”

“Not gonna happen!” She laughed. Just then, there was a rumble down the stairs as all the Weasley children and Hermione came racing into the living room- looking quite bright-eyed and bushytailed. Ron, ever the opportunist, went crashing into Harry and the two tumbled nearly into the mountain of presents that were heaping under the tree. As Harry peeled himself from his sleep, Sirius roused lightly and lifted his head.

“Whatzit?...”

“Merry Christmas, cousin,” Tonks told him with a smile as she reached over and gave Remus a shake. “Would-have-been-husband, you too! Up and at em!”

“Hmm?” Remus blinked away the sleep from his eyes and rubbed them with the back of his hands. “Oh goodness, is it morning?...”

“It was morning when we went to sleep,” Sirius replied as he adjusted on the couch so that he was in a sitting position. He stretched and every bone in his body popped in response to the uncomfortable way he’d been laying. He went to rub his head and looked genuinely surprised when he found Harry’s tie knotted by his temple. “Well worth it though. We had a wonderful night.”

“Yeah we did,” Harry beamed gratefully at the men who had loved him before he was even born. Before any of them got to say more, Ron and Ginny started passing out everyone’s presents. Remus took them gratefully and Sirius grabbed at his pile like an eager child. Fred and George settled in by the fire and Tonks took a seat on the edge of the couch. Deciding it would be better for it to be a free-for-all, the entire room started ripping through paper at the same time.

“Oh, this is so cool!” Tonks lifted up her gift from Remus and Sirius- a beautiful pen for her hair. It was silver and shaped like a star.

“It changes neutral hues to compliment whatever color your hair is from day to day,” the professor told her kindly. “Charmed it myself.”

“It’s so thoughtful,” Tonks told him with a beaming smile. “Truly, it’s wonderful!”

“Sirius, Remus- thank you!” Hermione was nearly in tears from a stunning pile of books- all of them obnoxiously thick. “Magical history books from different time periods. Oh, it’s wonderful!”

“There are some actual handwriting clips from a few of the wizards. They’re special editions,” Lupin told her brightly. “It should be from Tonks too. She helped me hunt them down.” Hermione hugged some of them to her chest, so choked up that she could only manage a mouthed ‘thank you’ to the Metamorphmagus and Tonks winked at her affectionately.

“These will come in handy,” Harry said as he revealed the main present from his godfathers- several books in a series titled ‘Practical Defense of Magic’. He cracked one open and saw, delighted, that the images move. “Thanks!”

“A broom compass! Wicked.” Ron grinned at his best friend, then frowned when he saw what Hermione had gotten him. It was a homework planner. He showed it to Harry and he laughed- lifting up his own.

“You need them!” Hermione snapped and Ron said no more.

“Hermione, I love it!” Sirius said to the witch as he pulled a knitted beanie out of a box and immediately put it on his head. It was gray and black. He grinned at her and Hermione blushed when she noticed the pompom on top was crooked. Sirius didn’t seem to see it though- and if he did, he didn’t care.

The next half hour passed on like this, with everyone opening their gifts and showing them off proudly. Hagrid sent Harry a furry wallet with teeth- but it was incredibly violent, so he ended up throwing it into a box and weighted it down with his books. Tonks gave him a small, enchanted miniature Fire Bolt that began whizzing around the room with his snitch- the secret holder. Ron got him candy and even Dobby painted him a picture. He shuffled into a new sweater from Arthur and Molly as Hermione showed off her collection of books to Ginny- who smiled at her warmly but looked far less than impressed. Hermione would never tell any of them- but her favorite gift was a small bottle of perfume from Ron. She’d never smelt a scent like it before… but she adored it.

Sirius and Remus opened their last gifts together. Tears formed in Sirius’ eyes as he lifted up a handmade sweater from Molly- and Remus did the same. They flipped them around to show the room. Remus’ was Gryffindor gold with a giant ‘R’ on the front in maroon. Likewise, Sirius’ sweater was mainly maroon with a giant gold ‘S’. Immediately, Sirius put the sweater on and stared down at the slightly crooked letter in awe.

“Do you not like it?” Molly asked softly and Sirius looked at her with painful gray eyes.

“Molly… I love it,” he told her with a crack in his voice. “I’ve never had something homemade like this before… It’s so thoughtful. I can feel the motherly love in every stitch.” Sirius ran his scarred fingers across the curved lines in the ‘S’ and beamed at her. “And the fact it matches Remus’ is a nice touch. I truly do adore it. Thank you.”

“And Remus,” Molly changed the subject, her cheeks red and eyes glossing with tears. “I knitted the letter a bit further down. So you can wear the sweater to work and your vests will hide it.”

“How thoughtful!” Remus beamed as he placed a hand on Sirius’ knee. “I love it, Molly. Thank you.”

“Ah. Time for the last gift,” Tonks said brightly as she got up off the couch. Remus’ furrowed his eyebrows as he peered under the tree. There were no boxes left. Tonks flicked her wand and a lovely package wrapped in silver paper formed on Remus’ lap. The professor stared at the green, shiny bow for a few moments then looked around the room. Everyone was watching him.

“This is from all of us,” Ron told him kindly. “A little bit from each.”

“For me?...” the lycan looked at his lover, as if to confirm he was correct to open it. Sirius nodded eagerly and Remus ripped through the paper. He took the lid off the box and… and… Tears came instantly as the professor pulled out article after article of brand new, crisp, sharp clothing. A pair of brown leather shoes were buffed to a high shine and soft, cashmere socks felt like satin in his hands. There was also an emerald green button down shirt, charcoal gray dress pants, and a Gryffindor gold cardigan. He touched each item with shaking hands. I haven’t had new clothes in over a decade. And these are… luxurious. “I…” Remus peered around the room and noticed how softly everyone was smiling at him. “I don’t know what to say…”

“Hermione helped me shop for the shoes for you,” Sirius told him gently. “She picked out those. Good choice too- that chestnut color will look lovely with that new cardigan.”

“I picked out the cardigan,” Ginny told him and Remus couldn’t stop the tears from spilling over his lashes.

“We got the socks!” Fred and George said at once.

“I got you the shirt,” Harry said brightly.

“Ron and I went together for the pants. I know color and he knows how you dress,” Tonks told him at last with a smile. “Do… you like it all then?”

“They’re the nicest clothes I’ve ever owned,” Remus told them all with a sob bubbling up the back of his throat. “Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you…”

Once all the gifts were given, all the paper was thrown away, and a brilliant feast was had- the Weasleys, Tonks, and Harry headed out to see Arthur at Saint Mungo’s. Remus decided to stay back with Sirius. I have one last gift for him. The lycan found Sirius upstairs in an absolute overjoyed mood. Still wearing Hermione’s hat and Molly’s sweater, the heir of the house of Black was loosely humming the tune of ‘God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen’ as he visited with Buckbeak in his mother’s old room. He tossed a chicken leg to the hippogriff and Buckbeak took it in delight. Remus stood in the doorway, watching Sirius for some time.

“Happy Christmas, Padfoot,” he said after a while. Sirius turned around, eyes wide, and offered his beloved a smile as Buckbeak snuck another piece of chicken from his hands.

“Happy Christmas, Moony,” he nearly purred as he walked over to his lover and took his face between his hands. Sirius brushed his thumbs over Remus’ lips and kissed him. “Mm… I hope it’s always like this.”

“Me too.”

“Especially when we get our forever house.”

“As soon as you’re free, my love…” Remus brushed his nose against Sirius’ own. “We’ll start searching.”

“Free…” Sirius rolled the word around in his mouth as if it tasted foreign on his tongue. “And if I never am?”

“Polyjuice Potion,” Remus replied and a surprised twinkle entered Sirius’ eyes. He let out a row of his infectious, barking laughter and shook his head, the pompom on top of his hat bopping as he did.

“Polyjuice Potion! Oh honestly, Moony, talking about our old Marauder days must have you aching for mischief.”

“Aching for mischief… may be a good way to describe it.” Remus offered him the smallest of flirtatious smiles. Sirus looked briefly taken aback. But then, a cool expression of adoration and content washed over his face and he moved his hands from Remus’ cheeks and gave his throat a little squeeze.

“Oh, absolutely… but before we do that… I have one more present for you.”

“For me?” Remus repeated himself from earlier, his eyes wide. He watched, heart pounding as Sirius walked backward toward his mother’s bed. He nudged Buckbeak’s tail out of the way and reached underneath the pillow. Then, he pulled out a picture and extended it to Remus. The professor took the frame in his hands and stared down at it in awe. It was a beautiful sketch of three animals- a yellowish wolf, a giant black dog, and a glorious red stag. The artwork was enchanted and the creatures moved about the frame and the grass swayed softly in the wind as it blew. At the bottom of the piece, words were scrawled through the green paint that read: 'Moony, Padfoot, and Prongs.' “This is… James’ handwriting,” Remus whispered breathlessly. He looked up at Sirius who had tears in his eyes. He nodded.

“Went through a lot of letters to find what I needed for it. I sent them off with Ginny and kind of gave her the whole run down. A girl in her Divination class did it. Quite gifted with some paints.”

“Oh, Sirius… I really love it.” Remus found he couldn’t pull any other words that seemed good enough for this moment. He held the frame against his chest, leaned in, and blessed Sirius with one of those luxurious kisses. Sirius held his face again and kissed him back- deeply and desperately. Remus’ heart began to pound as his lover searched for his tongue. He nearly relaxed his fingers, forgetting for a moment that he was holding the frame. He pulled back from Sirius, blinking the tears and stars from his eyes.

“Uhm… maybe I should set this down…”

“Maybe we should get out of this room, hm? We have an audience.” Remus turned his head and found, with great amusement, that Buckbeak was staring at them with curious orange eyes. He chuckled, nodded, and headed quickly from the bedroom of Walburga Black with Sirius following closely behind him.

Remus barely made it into their room and had no chance to close the door before Sirius was on him again. They kissed feverishly as the professor blindly sat the picture frame on the desk opposite their bed. Remus pushed his fingers into Sirius’ lush, thick hair- knocking the hat from atop his head as he did. Sirius groaned around Remus’ tongue as he pushed down the lycan’s pajama pants and found him already hard and heavy in his hands.

“You’re so beautiful,” Sirius told him, breaking the embrace rather reluctantly as he dropped his lips to Remus’ throat. He kissed him gently and lashed his tongue across one of the fainter scars lining his Adam’s apple. Remus was so entranced by him that he could hardly think of any reason to argue.

“So are you…” Remus let out a small yelp as Sirius pushed him back on the bed. He watched, awestruck, as Sirius pulled down his pants and climbed on top of him. Remus grabbed the back of Sirius’ new sweater, pulled it over his head, and tossed it up by the pillows. He admired every inch of his lover. The thick, dark hair that covered his arms, legs, and chest. The mark of his prisoner identification number that ran an inch below his collar bone. The countless scars- some from him. The minor other tattoos that littered his hands, sides, and wrists. “Merlin, you are so beautiful,” Remus repeated with more conviction this time.

Sirius raised an eyebrow at him and offered that dangerous, intoxicating smile. “Think so?” he asked, kissing Remus’ collar bone with enough heat it threatened to burn. Remus bit his lip and nodded. He grabbed Sirius’ head, twining his fingers in his hair, and guided him back up into a steaming kiss. Remus was burning with desire as Sirius moaned around his tongue and licked softly, deeply into his mouth. He could feel Sirius’ erection pressed hard against his leg and it made him weak with desire. Remus was just about to make his move and try to flip Sirius over on his back when his lover broke away from him. Sirius’ eyes were absolutely glittering with a playful lust as he inched back off the bed and stood at the end of it. Again, Remus was awed by him. Sirius flicked a finger, motioning for Remus to come to him and he obeyed. He peered up at his lover and laid down, having to instantly readjust due to the throbbing on his own heat. He was about to eagerly take Sirius into his mouth when the Animagus stopped him with the gentle clearing of his throat.

“Roll over. On your back,” he told him in that gritty, needy voice that always drove Lupin wild. Remus, transfixed, did as he was told. His view of the world was upside down as he opened his mouth expectantly. Sirius waited less than a heartbeat to push himself past his lover’s lips. Remus’ pupils grew wide as Sirius instantly ran deep into his throat. He groaned and gagged, not accustomed to having his mouth so full at this angle. But he found it wasn’t uncomfortable at all and, more than anything, to be filled this way was intoxicating. Sirius groaned in pleasure as he thrusted in and out of Remus’ mouth, the room echoing with the sound of the lycan’s efforts.

“Fuck,” he growled as he watched Remus’ cheeks hollow then fill again as he pulled himself out and pushed back in. “Oh, I could get used to this…” Remus couldn’t have answered him if he wanted to. His mouth was full nearly to bursting and his throat burned from the intrusion. He shifted under Sirius and managed to wrap his arms around either of his thighs to give himself a bit of control. When his breathing was impaired too badly, he’d shift his head one way or the other and manage a small gasp for air. But the pleasure was exhilarating. Sirius was absolutely consuming every morsel of his senses. He was all he could hear, taste, feel, see, and smell. Notes of anise and rich, dark earth clouded his mind. It’s all Sirius. I’m drowning in him and I can’t get enough…

Remus’ heart nearly leapt from his chest when the pressure around him shifted. Sirius’ presence in his mouth wavered only slightly as he felt his weight across his torso. And then Sirius took Remus’ heat into his eager mouth- pushing himself all the way down to the skin in the first move. Remus dug his fingernails into Sirius’ thighs and moaned desperately around the throbbing length that was tipped at the back of his throat. They’d never done… this… before. And now that Remus was full of Sirius, and Sirius was full of him- he couldn’t imagine why. It was bliss. All-consuming, addictive, and tormentingly euphoric. Remus couldn’t decide what was more enjoyable… him pleasing me or me pleasing him…

Sirius had never felt so much fulfillment in his entire life. He was nearly bursting from the burning, eclipsing, incredible sensations that were spiking through his blood like delectable poisons. It’s so good. It’s just so fucking good… he groaned in absolute delight when Remus dropped his head back then started slowly working back up his length again, ravishing his aching heat in long, satin licks. Sweat was beading on Sirius’ face and his throat burned from the force and speed he was using to keep Remus in his mouth and pushing violently closer to the edge. He knew what Lupin’s tells were by now. When he was about to cum, his left leg always twitched in the thigh area and his fingernails would nearly draw blood from whatever part of flesh they were currently sunken into. He’s almost there…

Sirius himself wasn’t far off. Moony had never taken him quite like this. Well, with the position we’re in- I suppose he doesn’t have much of a choice… Briefly, Sirius rationally wondered if Remus could breathe. He tried to move a bit to give his lover some space and found, much to his amusement, that the slack didn’t last for more than a heartbeat before Remus was clawing at him again, silently begging to be locked back in. He felt Lupin’s breath quicken against him and Sirius furrowed his eyebrows. He took his beloved in as deep as he physically could. Tears formed in his eyes and he lurched against the delicious pressure that forced itself into the back of his throat. Remus moaned frantically around the length in his mouth and started flailing helplessly underneath Sirius as hot cream coated the back of his tongue.

“Yes, good boy…” at last, Sirius pulled his head back, his lips trembling. He swallowed down the last of Remus’ climax with stars in his vision. Gossamer threads of arousal laced between the two and Sirius couldn’t help but lap at the liquid that had pooled around Remus’ thighs. He just started cleaning up the mess from around his groin when his own peak hit. Sirius hissed through gritted teeth and at first tried to mask his voice. He remembered nobody was home anyway and gave in to the pleasure, screaming out Remus’ name as he emptied himself into his lover’s aching mouth. When the last embers of the orgasm fell away, Sirius shakily leaned back and removed himself from Remus. He left his lover with a satisfying ‘pop’ and he nearly leveled himself when he realized Remus’ face was soaked. Sirius shakily slid down, balancing his weight on the balls of his feet. Remus hadn’t moved from the position he was in. He still laid on his back, spread-eagled, staring up at the ceiling with his chest heaving for air. For a moment, panic spread up Sirius’ spine and he worried if he’d been too rough with him. Then, Remus slowly looked over at him- his eyes filled with a dreamy haze and a smile spreading across his glistening lips.

“Moon? You okay?” Sirius asked gently as he grabbed the corner of the blanket and used it to wipe some of the wetness from Remus’ face. “Did I overdo it?”

“H-How come we’ve never done that before?” Remus asked in a gritty, hoarse voice that made Sirius throb until he was nearly hard again. “T-That was amazing. I loved it.”

“Of course you did, filthy pup,” he teased as he cleaned off the rest of Remus’ face. He gave his cheek a light pat, held his jaw steady, and kissed him. They brushed their noses together then Sirius leaned his head against the bed. “God, I’m wore out now. Between staying up all night with Harry, the alcohol, Christmas morning, and fucking you senseless… I think I’m tired.”

“We could nap until they get back?” Remus suggested eagerly with adoration filling his hazel eyes. “I could use it now for sure.”

“Then we’re agreed,” Sirius chuckled, kissing Remus’ temple as he bounced to his feet. The professor slowly adjusted until he was laying in the bed the correct way and Sirius climbed in beside him. They were just shifting into comfortable positions- Sirius on his back with Remus curled up against him- when a flash of movement caught the Animagus’ attention. He peered over to the still open doorway and he groaned. “Ah, well fuck…” Remus followed his gaze and, in spite of himself, burst out laughing.

Staring at them with judgmental yellow eyes was Buckbeak- his feathers ruffled, and with half the holiday ham hanging halfway out of his beak. “Merry Christmas to all,” Sirius yawned as the hippogriff turned and began to make his way back to Walburga’s bedroom. Remus was still laughing. “And to all a good night!”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“Kreacher, there you are!” Sirius said in a rather non-caring voice as he popped a few chocolate-covered peanuts into his mouth. The gangly old elf dipped his head obediently. “I’ve been wondering where you’ve been… Anyway, fill up Remus’ candy bowls, will you? The full moon is a few days away and I want them ready for him if he decides to come ride it out at the house.” The heir to the Black Family was in the most bitter mood he’d been in for a long time. The weeks following Christmas had been filled with utter bliss. But now… it was time for the new term. Remus and Harry are going back to school… I’ll be all alone again…

“Yes, master. Kreacher…”

“’Lives to serve to the noble house of Black’, I know,” Sirius growled as he winded into the kitchen. The blood in his veins ran cold as he found his least favorite member of the Order seated neatly at the kitchen table- his fingers laced together and with a look of utter contempt on his face. Despite the fragile peace that existed between them, Sirius held absolutely no warmth for the Potions Master. And for the sake of Merlin’s grace, I hate when he’s in my house…

“Black,” Severus greeted without any mirth as he extended a letter to the Animagus. Sirius took it curiously and opened one end. He read over it then clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth.

“Occlumency?”

“To protect Potter’s mind from intrusions by the Dark Lord.”

“Does it have to be you?” Sirius was careful with his words but his tone was unforgiving. “You’re cruel to him.”

Severus leaned back in his chair, those dark, beady eyes never leaving Sirius’ face. “Why so prickly, Black? As I recall, in my office a few months back- you said, and correct me if I’m wrong, ‘aren’t we supposed to be friends’? Why suddenly so hostile? You and your pet dog not getting along well?” Anger raged through Sirius and he raised an eyebrow dangerously at Snape.

“Don’t you dare call him that.” Snape didn’t have time to retaliate. Harry walked into the room with a confused and worried look on his face. He looked from Sirius to Severus and then back again.

“I was told you wanted to see me?...”

“Have a seat, Potter.”

“Don’t tell him what to do. I won’t have you commanding my godson around in my house,” Sirius snapped. His gray eyes were clouding with simmering anger as he motioned for Harry to sit. He did without fuss and Sirius sunk broodily into the chair beside him.

“This was supposed to be a conversation between myself and the boy…”

“But I’m his godfather and master of the manor. I have every right to be present for conversations regarding Harry,” Sirius interrupted, never taking his icy gaze off of Snape. “Whatever you want to say to him, you can say in front of me.”

“Very well,” Snape retorted after a moment. “If it makes you feel like you’re contributing to his education in some way- by all means- stay.” Sirius’ blood pressure started to rise and he could feel the color flushing to his face. Harry gave him a gentle nudge and Sirius nodded.

“Well, talk to him then!”

“Potter, Dumbledore has ordered me to teach you Occlumency this term.”

“Ocl… Occlu-what?” Harry echoed in a nearly child-like voice, his green eyes wide. Snape rolled his eyes and seemed absolutely exasperated by the fact that Harry didn’t know what it was.

“Occlumency, Potter! Defense of the mind against outside forces.”

“Why do I need it?” Harry asked immediately, his voice shaking as he looked from Snape to Sirius- who was growing redder and redder in the face by the minute.

“Because the headmaster said so,” Snape said briskly. “I’ll be giving you private lessons once a week. If anyone questions you on where you are going and why- you are to say you’re taking Remedial Potions. Nobody will doubt that given your poor performance in my class.” Harry dropped his head miserably and groaned. He was already dreading this term- no Quidditch, Umbridge lurking about, (of course the impending doom of Voldemort), and now this? He raised his gaze to Sirius and desperately sought his godfather for some type of relief.

“Is there no other teacher who can do this?” Sirius revisited his previous complaint. “Dumbledore or McGonagall? Literally anyone but you.”

“It wasn’t my choice either,” Snape snarled at him through gritted teeth. “I can assure you I was not leaping for joy when the headmaster gave me the assignment.” He shifted his bird-like gaze from Sirius to Harry and held his miserable stare. “Six o’clock on Monday in my office, Potter. Don’t be late.” Severus pushed to his feet and headed for the entrance to the kitchen, but Sirius had thought of something else he wanted to say.

“Hold on a second…”

“Unlike some of us, Black, I don’t have time to wait around and do nothing in my mother’s house. My schedule is quite compact,” Severus replied without turning to face Sirius. Sirius heard enough and pushed to his feet, his eyes nearly as wild as his canine counterpart.

“Then I’ll make this quick, Snivellus,” Sirius said in a low, deadly, calculative voice. “If I so much as get a dream of a whisper that you’re using these lessons to torment Harry, you’ll be dealing with me in the aftermath. Is that easy enough to understand?”

“Oh? Going to march right into Hogwarts and teach me a lesson, are you?” Snape’s voice was just as acidic. “As yourself- with the face that’s still plastered on wanted posters all over the country- or as the dog that Lucius Malfoy recognized on the train platform at the start of the year?” Sirius looked taken aback and Snape capitalized on the moment of surprised silence. “Reckless as you like to be, Black, you didn’t really think it wouldn’t catch up with you, did you? Step a toe off your mommy’s property again and you’ll likely end up just like your dearest best friend. Perhaps that’s what you want? Seeing as you’ve been chasing after his ghost for years anyway.”

Harry knew instantly that Snape mentioning his father was the foot over the line. He bolted from his chair as Sirius drew his wand. Severus, as if knowing what was coming, whirled around on his feet and came face to face with Sirius. His pupils narrowed as he withdrew his own wand from inside his robes. Harry grabbed Sirius’ arm and pulled on his godfather’s shirt, desperately trying to defuse the situation.

“Sirius, please!”

“Pulling your wand on me when my back was turned?” Snape sneered. “After all I’ve done for you? Ah, easy it is then- you’ll have no more favors from me. Make sure your dearest Moony knows that too.”

“Threaten me again in my own house…” Sirius placed his free hand on Harry’s chest and gently, but firmly, shoved him out of the way. “And you won’t have teeth to say more through…”

“He’s back! Sirius, look!” Just then, the doorway to the kitchen was alive with movement. One by one, all of the Weasleys filed into the room with Tonks to their left and Remus to their right. In the middle of the gaggle of redheads was Arthur, still looking pale and a bit worn down- but his eyes were bright and beaming. Then… everything froze. Molly looked from Sirius to Snape to Harry- who nearly had tears in his eyes and his face was blood red.

“Sirius, what is going on?...” Remus hissed and both he and Snape lowered their wands. Severus shot Remus a nasty glare that Sirius didn’t quite understand. He then glanced back at Harry and the Gryffindor student recoiled to stand a bit behind his godfather from the pure malice on his face.

“Don’t be late,” he snarled as he turned on his heels and stormed out of the room.

“Sirius, what’s happened?” Arthur asked with concern heavy in his voice, but Sirius was tucking away his wand and gave a shake of his head.

“Nothing to concern you, cousin,” Sirius replied softly as he ran his hands through his hair- his face still red and body trembling. He turned to the Weasleys- who all now look rather stunned instead of excited- and offered them a wide, genuine smile. “But you’re back! How are you feeling?!”

“Tired, but much, much better.” Mr. Weasley, knowing it was no good to pry, took Sirius’ hands in his own and shook them. “Thank you so much for keeping up my crew while I’ve been away. I hope they haven’t been too much strain on you?...”

“Oh, Arthur, not at all! I’d take it on anytime. It’s been a delight truly. Now, come. Why don’t we get a nice dinner started to celebrate your homecoming?” Harry slid silently over to Ron, purposely avoiding Remus’ gaze as Sirius swept Arthur to the table and poured him a glass of wine.

… “Have you absolutely lost your mind, Padfoot?!” Remus hissed ferociously at his lover as Sirius paced the floor of their room. Arthur Weasley’s welcoming party had been a huge success and now the house was winding down for the last night before the students’ return to Hogwarts. Sirius didn’t look at Remus as the professor’s gaze bore into him. “Sirius Orion Black III, you better answer me…”

“Please don’t use my full name like that,” groaned Sirius at last as he stopped his feverish pacing to look at the lycan with pleading eyes. “And no, I have all my marbles still- or the ones I started out with anyway. Listen, I had absolutely no intentions of starting a fight with Snape. You didn’t hear how he was talking to me- or Harry for that matter. I just lost my cool… I’m sorry.”

“We owe Severus a great deal, Sirius.”

“I know that.”

“His potions keep me sane. He…” Remus nearly slipped up and told Sirius about the Unbreakable Vow. He redirected his words carefully. “… He’s going to teach Harry Occlumency to protect him from Voldemort. You promised Dumbledore you’d make peace with him. You promised me you’d stop being so cruel to him…”

“He told me I’ve been chasing James’ ghost.” Sirius wrapped his hands around the metal frame of the footboard of their bed. He closed his eyes. “I’m just… so tired of everyone always telling me what a fuck up I am, or how useless I’m being. He said that Lucius recognized me on the platform at the start of the year- so that’s haunting my every thought now. And I just…” he sighed deeply, emptying all the air out of his lungs. “I just really want for everyone to stop saying that I look for James in Harry. My best friend died fifteen years ago- I know that. But is it so bad to see little pieces of him in his son? Does that make me wicked?...”

“No, my love. It doesn’t.” Remus’ temper had subsided a bit as he came up behind the former prisoner. He rubbed Sirius’ shoulders comfortingly then wrapped his arms around his chest and held him. “I see it too. We’re supposed to see echoes of the parents in their children… Snape just likes to get under your skin, you know that.” When Sirius was silent for a stretch of time too long, Remus gave him a little shake. “I’m sorry he said that to you… I’ll keep an eye on Harry, okay? I won’t let Severus pick on him.”

“Severus always picks on him,” Sirius growled as he turned in his lover’s arms and leaned against his chest in exhaustion. He sighed once more. “I’m dreading tomorrow,” he told Remus sadly after a while. “All the Weasleys, you, and Harry will be gone… I’ll be all alone again until the end of the term...”

“I’ll try to come home as much as I can.”

“With Umbridge watching your every move? It isn’t safe for you to come here, Moony. This will be the last time for now.” Sirius was in near agony as he lifted his gaze to meet his lover’s own. “I can’t leave and you can’t stay… I’ll see you when the term is over.”

“We still have tonight,” Remus whispered tenderly as he brushed his thumbs over Sirius’ lips. “Let’s make it count.” He held Sirius’ chin and brought him in for a deep, luxurious, velvety kiss. The Animagus melted against Remus’ affection and let his warmth thaw the forming frost. The breath left his lungs when the professor dropped his kisses from Sirius’ mouth to his throat. He ran his tongue from Sirius’ Adam’s apple down to his collar bone and took the skin there between his teeth.

“Mmm… I feel better already,” Sirius whispered breathlessly as he bit his bottom lip. Remus grinned at him as he sunk to his knees and pushed down Sirius’ pajama pants. The professor chuckled at the full erection that was so eagerly presented in front of his face.

“Doesn’t take much to get you going does it?” he teased as he gave Sirius’ thigh a kiss. “I’ve barely even touched you and you’re already brick hard for me.” A wicked gleam entered Sirius’ gaze as Lupin gave his length a long, adoring, shiver-inducing lick. He placed his hands on the back of the lycan’s head and twined his fingers into his hair.

“You don’t even have to touch me, Moony… I get hard just being around you. Always have. Made studying for classes nightmarishly difficult in school.” Sirius sucked in a hard breath when Remus took him eagerly into his mouth. “One time we were in P-Potions… and you were wearing this… sky blue v-neck under your robes… I loved that shirt on you. I only saw you in it twice- but I fucked up whatever brew we were working on so badly that it singed yellow marks into my cauldron…” Sirius groaned in pleasure and shivered as Remus worked on him in long, deep, slow motions. The sounds of his efforts echoed around the room and brought chills up Sirius’ spine.

“Fuck, babe… that’s perfect…” Sirius shifted a bit and held Remus’ head still with that insane strength that drove the lycan mad. He glanced up at Sirius, his hazel eyes misty and filled with adoration. Sirius smirked at him- that dangerous, burning, intoxicating smile- and began to thrust into Remus’ mouth. The lycan’s eyebrows furrowed and tears formed along his lashes as Sirius filled him and pushed hard into the back of his throat. His mouth watered and he nearly lurched against the length, but Sirius pulled himself back, held the heat at the top of Remus’ lips, and then pushed back in again. “Fuck,” Sirius growled as a mixture of arousal and saliva coated his thighs and dampened down the thick, black hair along his legs. “It feels so good, Moony… you okay?” Remus nodded slightly and blinked, a roll of tears falling down his face. He had both his hands placed on Sirius’ hips and a euphoric look in his eyes as Sirius continued the rhythm. Remus stuck out his tongue so that the entirety of his palette was cupping his lover’s heat. Sirius’ grip on his head tightened and his nails dug into Remus’ scalp.

“Merlin, I could cum like this…” Remus let out the smallest groan in protest and Sirius seamed to catch the notion. He kept thrusting for a few more moments and then removed himself from his beloved’s aching mouth. He flicked a finger to motion for Remus to stand and he obeyed. Sirius smiled at the nearly drunken look on Lupin’s face as he brushed his calloused thumbs through the wetness on his mouth, tilted his head downward, and kissed him. Sirius sought Remus’ tongue and found it quickly- instantly covering in goosebumps from how hot and messy the kiss instantly became. After a few long, passionate heartbeats, Sirius broke the embrace with a lustful haze to his eyes. He took Lupin’s hand and guided him around to the side of the bed. He lifted his arm and kissed from his wrist to his collar bone, brushing open Remus’ robe as he pushed him back on the bed. Sirius leaned over his beloved and ran gentle fingers across his chest- tracing the outlines of heavy scars.

“You’re beautiful,” he whispered breathlessly as he kissed Remus’ mouth softly. “God, you’ve always been so beautiful…”

“I’m beaten all to hell, Padfoot,” Remus muttered as he bit his lip. Sirius ran his tongue lightly down his stomach, kissing a deep, long-healed pink gash above his navel. “I’ve never been anything striking to look at…”

“You’ve always been breathtaking to me,” Sirius told him in that hoarse, desperate, needy voice that brought chills up Remus’ spine. “And that’s all that matters, hm?” he took the professor’s pajama pants in his hand and pulled them down to his ankles. He kissed the inside of his thigh then took the bit of skin between his lips with delicious force. Remus gasped as color filled his face. He thrust his hands into Sirius’ hair and pulled on the silver-streaked black strands.

“Padfoot!”

“If you’re going to be away from me for the next few months, you need to remember who you belong to,” Sirius growled as he released the pressure from Remus’ skin. A love mark in the shape of his teeth left an already bruising circle on the lycan’s upper thigh. Sirius’ gray eyes were filled with adoration and danger alike as he repeated this claiming pattern all over Remus’ body. His stomach, his chest, below his collar bone, on his thighs, his sides, and his upper arms. By the time he was finished, Remus was nearly sick from pleasure and he was wriggling helplessly under his beloved with ten prints of Sirius’ teeth in his skin.

“You’re mine,” Sirius told him as he grasped Remus’ chin and kissed him. But it wasn’t ferocious. Or aggressive. Or even dominating. It was deeper than that. Longing, blistering, soul-wrenching; desperate. Remus kissed him back- his heart pounding in his chest as it had the first time out in the forest surrounding Hogwarts. He kept his hands in Sirius’ hair as the former prisoner positioned himself just right and pushed pleadingly inside of him. Remus’ eyebrows pitched and he groaned into the kiss. Sirius released his hold on Remus’ chin and placed his hands on either side of his head instead to steady his thrusts. Eventually the kiss broke so both men could gasp for air. The professor tried to hold his lover’s gaze, but the complete adoration in Sirius’ gray depths threatened to burn and Lupin looked away. He leaned over toward his beloved’s planted hand and kissed his wrist- his lips grazing a faded tattoo of a fanged snake. He moaned shamelessly when Sirius drove himself against a perfect, aching place inside him and Remus arched his back in pleasure. Something dripped onto Remus’ cheek and he meekly turned his head toward Sirius… and his heart nearly stopped. A few shallow tears were rolling off Sirius’ lashes. Remus turned to face him and his lover nodded encouragingly. He kissed him again then left their lips only a whisper apart.

“Tell me you love me,” Sirius whispered as Remus dug his fingernails into his beloved’s shoulders. “Moony, please.”

“I l-love you, Sirius Black,” he replied breathlessly as the climax crawled closer. “With all my heart.”

“Say that you’re mine.”

“I’m all yours, darling… I always have been.”

“Always?” Sirius whispered and Remus nodded desperately, his entire body aching for release.

“Always.”

Sirius groaned and claimed Remus’ mouth again in a kiss so intense it brought tears from Lupin’s eyes. He clutched imploringly at Sirius’s shoulders, his nails drawing lines of blood as Sirius filled him nearly to the point of bursting. Remus came shortly after and his face burned as his belly was coated in hot cream. Sirius didn’t stop kissing him even as the last echoes of their orgasms waned away. The embrace faded from feverish to gentle and tempered. Remus’ arms weakly fell back to the bed and Sirius claimed his left hand with his own- twining their fingers. Sirius’ tongue drew soft, precious, delicious sounds from Remus’ throat as spots dappled his vision. Eventually, what felt like hours after the fire subsided, Sirius broke the kiss. Remus suddenly felt very empty- sad that he had lost the warmth of his mouth and the intoxication of his tongue. Hazel eyes met gray depths as Sirius slowly, achingly, removed himself from his lover. The Animagus slid to his side and curled up against Remus, his head on his chest with his right hand tracing the thin scars across his skin. They lay that way for a long time until Sirius exhaled all the air in his lungs.

“Moony?”

“Hm?”

“Tell me a secret.”

“Come again?”

“I don’t think I can right now- thank you though,” Sirius replied smoothly and Remus chuckled at his lover. “I said… tell me a secret. Tell me something I don’t know about you.”

“Hmm…” Remus untwined his fingers from Sirius’ own. He wrapped that arm around the former prisoner’s shoulder and rubbed the skin there in soothing circles. “I took up smoking cigarettes for almost a decade after Lily and James died. I kicked the habit shortly before I came to Hogwarts in Harry’s third year.”

“No kidding!” Sirius chuckled, his eyes glittering. “I’d never have guessed that.”

“Mm…” Remus nodded slowly. He glanced down at Sirius thoughtfully. “The snake tattoo on your wrist- what’s it for?”

“Slytherin supremacy,” Sirius said dryly. “Bella and some others had it inked on me while I was in Azkaban. My penance for being a Gryffindor.” Remus winced, imagining a group of Death Eaters holding Sirius down while Bellatrix- or worse- carved the image into his skin.

“Sorry.”

“No, don’t be…” Sirius kissed his side. “I want you to know. The scars on your face- when did you do those?”

“The full moon after you went to Azkaban,” Remus replied immediately. “It was one of the hardest cycles of my entire life. I was so violent…” he shook his head. “Had Dumbledore not reached out to me to help me through that first year after… everything… I don’t think I would have lived through it.” Sirius was quiet for a long time.

“You never answered me,” he said at last. Remus furrowed his eyebrows.

“I just did, Padfoot…”

“No.” Sirius swallowed hard. “Do you remember the first night we made love?... Out in the forest, under the moon?”

“How could I forget? It was one of the best nights of my life.”

“I asked you a question then. I asked you if you hated me when you thought I’d betrayed Lily and James. You never directly answered me.” Remus sat up slowly and rearranged himself so that he was leaning more diagonally against the pillows instead of hanging off the bed. He stared at Sirius with wide, questioning hazel eyes.

“Yes, I did. I told you I didn’t know what to believe back then…”

“So you did think I was capable of that. You thought I sold them out.”

“Sirius, where is this coming from?”

“And killed Peter.”

“Sirius.”

“You thought I was just like everyone else in my pureblood crazed family.”

“Sirius, where is this coming from?!” Remus cupped his beloved’s face and brushed his thumbs over his cheeks. “Honey, you’re scaring me…”

“Answer me!”

“Yes, I hated you,” Remus said immediately as he dropped his hands from his beloved’s face. A flash of hurt entered Sirius’ eyes. But then it was gone. “… Only for a moment. It didn’t make sense, Sirius. I knew it didn’t. I went to see Hagrid one night not even a year after it all went down. I got unbelievably drunk with him and we talked it all over with a pint of ale between us. It just didn’t make any sense. You, James’ best friend- Harry’s godfather for Merlin’s sake!- had betrayed them? You, who had been rejecting the pureblood ideologies of your family since the day you were born? You, the best man at the Potters’ wedding?... It just didn’t add up.” Sirius stared at Remus silently, trying to keep himself steady. He nodded his head, but when he opened his mouth to speak- Remus cut him off. “You blamed me too. I remember, Padfoot… you thought I’d sided with Greyback. It’s why you didn’t tell me that Peter was their Secret Keeper.”

Sirius looked incredibly wounded. He leaned back on his knees, his eyebrows furrowed. “Moony…”

“Why are we even talking about this?” Remus demanded as he reached out and took Sirius’ hands in his own. “What is going on?”

“I know I’m reckless,” Sirius said at last, not meeting Remus’ gaze. “Always have been. When I was a kid, when I was in school, when I was younger…” he shook his head. “Even now- I suppose I am. Popping up on the platform, seeing you off to school, drawing my wand on Severus…” Immediately, Remus understood. Something Snape said got to him.

“But it wasn’t… recklessness that made me suggest Peter to James. You have to know that, Moony…” Sirius was nearly feverish with his talking now, nervously darting his gaze around as he spoke. “It was all of it. The prophecy and… I just thought if it wasn’t the obvious choice that maybe they’d stand a better chance. If I ever suspected for even a second that Peter was disloyal, I’d never have suggested it…” tears formed in his eyes. “I’m sorry I doubted you. I’m sorry I… I’m sorry I killed our best friends.”

“Sirius?... What… no.” He lifted a hand and brushed the tears away. “You did nothing wrong, do you hear me? You did what you thought would keep them all safe. For God’s sake, Sirius, you landed yourself in Azkaban Prison for over a decade because of it! Voldemort killed James and Lily, do you understand me? You did nothing wrong.” Remus held Sirius’ gaze and eventually, the Animagus nodded. “But honey, where is this coming from?... How did we get from making love to here? What did Severus say to you?...”

“Sometimes, I get this feeling…” Sirius whispered softly, in a voice so low that Remus barely heard him. “Like I’m going to be punished for what I’ve done. For the mistakes I made. Like… because my choices led to Lily and James’ death, there’s a certain debt to be paid. I get so scared, my Moon… when I get too comfortable with you… that the forces that be will take you away from me. As a penance for trusting Peter. My foolishness cost us everything. Cost Harry everything. If I’d just trusted you… If I’d just told you what my plan was… you would have talked me out of it. And maybe James and Lily would still be alive.”

“And if my dad had let Fenrir walk in peace, I’d never have gotten bitten. We can play the ‘what-if’ game until we’re blue in the face. It doesn’t change the way things happened. It won’t change the way things are. We can’t go back, Padfoot. We can only go forward. I will take care of you, you will take care of me, and we will do the best we can to protect and love Harry.” Remus drew Sirius in and kissed him. “I am yours, Sirius Orion Black… and I have nothing to forgive you for. You’re incredible. And I love you- with all my heart.” Some of the pain left Sirius’ eyes. He gave a small nod and then moved to curl up against Remus again. The professor laid back into the pillows and wrapped an arm around him, his heart pounding in his chest. He exhaled all the air in his lungs.

“Why did you want me to tell you a secret anyway?”

“So that I know more about you,” Sirius replied in a small voice after a while. “I’ve missed so much of your life… and maybe if I’d known you better back then…”

“No more ‘ifs’,” Remus told him promptly. “We are not the men we were fifteen years ago. This war is not that war. There is no speculation. I know the heart you hold… and you know mine. No more guilt from the past. Not in our bed. Not right now.” Sirius nodded slowly. Remus took a moment to collect himself. “Padfoot, can I ask you a question this time?”

“Sure, Moon.”

“The other night… Ginny asked when we started being official. You said you’d always had feelings for me. Were you telling the truth or just trying to tell her what she wanted to hear to encourage her to pursue Harry?”

“I was telling the truth,” Sirius replied immediately. “I’ve always been mad for you, Moony. I knew the minute I met you… something about you intrigued me. It was like a connection- or a spark. But I knew immediately that you were the one for me.”

“Liar,” Remus said shortly and Sirius glared up at him.

“I’m not!”

“You were chasing anything with tits while we were in school, Sirius!”

“Did you ever see me chasing anything with a prick?”

Remus faltered. He looked down at Sirius as the man leaned up a bit to be able to stare into his eyes. “I never had a man before you, Remus. You were the only one I wanted. Girls… they’re a dime a dozen. Were back then anyway- I hardly doubt any of them would throw themselves at me now with how I look.” I don't believe that for a second, Remus thought but he allowed Sirius to continue without interruption. “I buried myself in my whoring to distract my mind from what I really wanted… and that was always you.”

“We never would have made it back then,” Remus told him softly as he cupped Sirius’ face. “As much as I loved you… as much as you loved me. Times were different.”

“Half-bloods and purebloods were already a big enough scandal,” Sirius agreed at last as he sat back and crossed his legs. “And the whole bloody werewolf scheme…”

“It was costing you enough that we were friends alone. And that’s without your family knowing what I was at the time. Had we been lovers?...” Remus blinked slowly. “The world would have torn us apart. We’d have been fed to the monsters and consumed.”

“Remus, I… will always regret not at least telling you how I felt.”

“Me too,” Lupin replied gently. “Maybe it would have given you a happy moment to hold on to while you were in Azkaban.”

“You know?...” Sirius tilted his head. “I had a lot of them of you anyway… and many hadn’t happened yet.”

“What do you mean?”

“I knew… I knew one day I’d see you again. I knew that I’d be able to look you in the eyes and tell you the truth. I knew I wanted to kiss you- and when I did, I’d tell you everything. And I knew you’d hear me. I knew, even then, I think… that I would have you like this. Beautiful and bare with all your scars for me to kiss and claim. It was one of the things that kept me going.” Sirius offered him a small smile. “You know, I have a secret… something I never told anyone. Even James.”

“Oh?” Remus’ heart was pounding and he had tears on his lashes as he leaned up and looked desperately into Sirius’ brooding gray eyes. “What is it?”

“I did almost kiss you once. When we were in school.” Remus looked taken aback.

“What?”

“It was after one of the full moons… before we became Animagi. You were in the hospital wing, torn all to hell. Pomfrey had gone to fetch something or other and I was waiting by your bed. I’d gotten there before James and Pete. And I remember you were breathing so heavy. Pomfrey told me you’d broken some ribs and they were mending, but you needed sleep. So I didn’t wake you. But this one piece of hair… this piece.” Sirius reached over and touched a strand of Remus’ graying locks- a sliver that always fell out of place over his forehead. “Was hanging down in your face. And I brushed it back.” Remus’ heart was drumming against his ribcage.

“Then I touched your cheek. And you kind of rolled your head into my palm…” Sirius dropped his fingers and cupped Remus’ face. He leaned his head sideways and Sirius nodded with that nearly mischievous grin creeping across his lips. “I remember thinking, even then, with the dark circles under your eyes and the busted blood vessels in your neck… how hauntingly beautiful I thought you were. I brushed my thumb over your mouth…” Sirius mirrored the movement and Remus thought his lover could hear his heart pounding in his chest. “And you parted your lips just a little. I remember thinking how pink and soft they looked. I wanted to kiss you so badly. I leaned in…” Sirius drew himself closer to Remus and the lycan placed a shaky hand on his cheek. When they were only a whisper away, Sirius paused, his gray eyes searching Remus’ dewy hazel depths. “But then I didn’t… because you wouldn’t remember it. And I wanted you to remember it.”

“Padfoot…” overcome with emotion, Remus took Sirius’ head in his hands, pulled him the last breath of distance, and kissed him. Sirius groaned and brought himself onto Remus’ lap, cupping either side of his face as they feverishly, madly, deeply made up for all that lost time. Finally, they came up for air and Sirius chuckled, brushing his nose against the professor’s own.

“In another world, under different stars…” Remus said after a moment as Sirius kissed his neck. “I think we did this too young and messed it all up. It made the thoughts of betrayal more deadly. It made the anger I felt for you for twelve years stronger. It made… this…” Sirius looked at him with haunted gray eyes. “These moments almost bitter. I really did have to lose you to realize how much I love you, Sirius.”

“I feel the same,” he replied as he kissed Remus again and the lycan ran a finger across the crescent moon pendant that lay against Sirius’ chest. “We have time to make up for the years we lost. I’ll cherish every moment of it.” When Sirius met Remus’ eyes again, those gray depths were clearer. More at peace.

“Do you feel better?” Remus asked and Sirius nodded as he again took his place at the professor’s side. He laid his head on his chest and listened to the wild beating of his strong heart. They were quiet for quite some time and Sirius nearly thought that Lupin had fallen asleep. That was until he asked one more question. “You really did mark me up all to hell, didn’t you?”

Sirius chuckled and glanced up at the man he loved. “Strategically so. Ten bites across various parts of your body…” he ran a finger over the one on the right side of Remus’ chest. “They form the outline of the Canis Major constellation.” Remus’ jaw dropped in disbelief as the Animagus tapped the mark he’d been tracing with his finger. “The one over your heart is the star Sirius.” He met his beloved’s gaze and that familiar gleam of mischief again entered his eyes. “Remus John Lupin, you are mine, and this will be the last night I see you for a while. I don’t want for you to forget it.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The next morning saw a very tearful farewell. Sirius took a good five minutes to talk to Harry and even gifted him something for safekeeping. Remus watched from the sidewalk as his beloved was sealed away back inside the secret confines of 12 Grimmauld Place. Once the manor seamlessly disappeared into the rows of brick muggle buildings, the lycan turned on his feet and followed after the others. The trip on the Knight Bus was short but sickening and by the time the lot of students and teachers got off, Remus’ stomach was in knots. The first few days of the term went quite smoothly. Filius and Remus were in perfect sync with one another and their students were engaged and filled with energy. As for his solo study periods… he’d had to get creative. As he was no longer allowed to teach independently, Remus decided to beat Umbridge at her own game and took a page out of Harry’s book. He’d sent out individual letters to all eleven students who required tutoring and instructed them of a time and place to meet. The date and location would change from week to week in an attempt to keep them safe. But I have to do something. I can’t let them down. Today they’d met in the Divinations classroom after Sybill had retired for the evening. It was the last place (besides maybe Hagrid’s hut) that Dolores was likely to check. Remus read a book as he waited for the last of the students to finish their quizzes. Finally, Ian laid his quill down on the tabletop and looked up at his professor. “I’m finished.”“You the last?” He asked. Everyone nodded and Remus put down his book. “Excellent.” The lycan flicked his wand. “Accio tests.” All the papers hovered over to him and laid themselves on Professor Trelawney’s desk in a neat pile. Lupin began to thumb through them all, pleasantly surprised at how little revision they actually needed. “Incredible,” he mused warmly. “Absolutely wonderful. I’m so proud of you all.” “Professor?” this was Henrietta Clayborne who spoke, shyly raising her hand into the air. Remus nodded at her. “Yes, dear?”“May I ask… a personal question?” “You may, I may not answer,” Remus replied simply even though she had snared his interest. “Go on.” “You were in the original Order of the Phoenix, weren’t you?” Remus raised his eyebrows in surprise.“I was.” “My mum says that there’s whispers of the Order reforming. Because… You-Know-Who is back. Will you rejoin them?” “Henrietta, I hardly find that an appropriate topic for a tutoring class,” Remus replied easily, even though she had caught him off guard. “My dad says he’s not back. That Dumbledore is off his rocker. And that Harry’s barking mad,” it was Jenna Longcross- a Ravenclaw third year- who spoke next. “But you know Harry, don’t you, professor? You were friends with his dad in school. My pops was a Hufflepuff the same year as you all. Do you think he’d lie about it all?”“Cedric didn’t drop dead on accident,” replied Ian coolly. “My parents were both leads in their classes for Defense Against the Dark Arts. How Harry described the Killing Curse seems more than accurate to me.” “Potter’s not been right since the tournament,” Margot agreed, nodding her head to Jenna. “Cho talks about him and Cedric both. A lot. I’m friends with Cho and I don’t think she’d be so smitten over a complete nutter.”“Children,” Remus said, raising his voice a bit to get their attention. “This is very off topic. Can we please…” “Did you see the newspaper article, professor?” Henrietta asked and Remus again found his train of thought skewed by her. As if she knew his answer, the pretty blonde got up and walked across the room. She handed a folded copy of The Daily Prophet to him and Remus’ heart nearly beat out of his chest. Pictures of absolutely vile witches and wizards were looking at him, snarling and snapping from their photographs as he read the headline: ‘MASS BREAKOUT FROM AZKABAN. MINISTRY FEARS SIRIUS BLACK IS A “RALLYING POINT” FOR OLD DEATH EATERS.’ Remus’ mouth fell open. Oh my God… “What does it mean, professor?” Ian pried and Remus felt his stomach sour. He folded up the newspaper and handed it back to Henrietta, who promptly took her seat. They were all staring at him with expectant eyes. “Is Sirius Black gathering them?...” “Why would he do that?” Jenna asked with a tremble in her voice. “Because You-Know-Who is back!” hissed Henrietta and Margot nodded numbly. Remus tapped his wand on the desk to get their attention. It was Ian who spoke next. “Bellatrix Lestrange is Sirius’ cousin, right?... The whole Black line are Death Eaters through and through.”“Know all about that, do you?” quipped Uriah Janxton, a Gryffindor fifth year who couldn’t ride a broom or brew a potion to save his life. “Being in Slytherin and all.” “Oi, watch what you’re saying!”“Enough!” Remus shouted at them and the entire class jumped then silenced. The lycan brushed back some graying strands of hair and met each of their gazes. “This… is exactly what happened last time,” he said after a long while and many of them leaned forward in their desks to get in better ear range. “Everyone turned against each other. Friends stopped trusting friends. Families and houses alike were torn apart. Now, you eleven are some of the most gifted and promising minds in this entire school. If you all can’t see past your differences and get along- we might as well unlock the door and send up a white flag right now.” Uriah muttered a low apology to Ian- who just nodded without looking at him. Nobody dared to speak for a few minutes until Henrietta cleared her throat. Remus nodded to her. “So, a war is coming?” Remus looked at each of them. He sighed. “Yes.”“Will you fight in it?”“… Yes.”“Be careful,” Margot murmured and the others nodded in agreement. Remus smiled softly, touched by their concern. “None of this to your other teachers, understand?” he said to them and they all nodded vigorously. “And not a word to the other members of your houses. Not Cho. Not Harry. Not Dumbledore if he asks. Not anyone. Am I clear?” “Yes, professor,” they all agreed at once. Remus exhaled all the air in his lungs and picked up their tests again. “Now, does anyone have any homework or course related questions?”“... Professor Lupin?” mused Henrietta once more and Remus nodded to her. “Yes, Miss Clayborne?” She smiled at him, her brown eyes kind. “I think you’re very brave.”…The next few days exploded with activity at Hogwarts. An issue of The Quibbler surfaced that left Umbridge in an uproar. Remus had never been simultaneously so mad (and so proud) of Harry. It takes balls to do something like this. Foolish as it may be… But seeing as Remus was one of the only people Harry could rely on and be honest with, they still spent time together in his quarters away from prying eyes. They’d sat in silence for a long time with The Quibbler between them and plates of food untouched by their hands. “I had a date with Cho the other evening,” Harry said at last, breaking the ice as he stuck a chunk of glazed ham into his mouth. “We went to a place called Madam Puddifoot’s.”“I bet that was romantic,” Remus mused as he sipped on his pumpkin juice, those hazel eyes kind and amused… but wary. He's trying to distract me from the elephant in the room. “Did you kiss her?”“Uhm. No,” Harry replied shortly. “We actually got into a screaming match and she didn’t talk to me for days until The Quibbler dropped.” Harry flinched. He knew he’d opened the door. “Harry, I wish you would have told me that you planned to talk to Rita Skeeter about what happened last year. I understand your reasoning for what you’ve done here… but I don’t think it’s very wise. You’re going to have so many eyes on you now. You’ve definitely gained attention you don’t need.” “I’ve also gained attention that we do need,” he replied with a bit of fire in his voice. He looked around as if afraid someone might be listening and then leaned in toward his godfather. “I had to get the heat off Snuffles. And people needed to hear the truth. Now they see our side.” “I… suppose you’re right,” Remus said after a while. He took another sip of his drink and nodded to Harry. He could tell he was tired of the subject. “It’s Monday. You have Occlumency tonight don’t you?”“Don’t remind me,” Harry groaned as he bit into a roasted potato. He could feel Remus staring at him and tried to avoid the lycan’s soft, affectionate gaze. “How is it going? I haven’t seen you much since we…” 'left the house'. Remus mouthed the next words instead of speaking them. Harry understood and nodded. “Not… great. Snape… just…” He placed his fork on his plate and pushed it away. “He doesn’t really tell me how to… defend myself? It feels like he just likes picking around inside my brain. He gets so frustrated with me and tells me I’m not trying. And no matter how hard I do actually try- it’s just never enough for him.” Harry looked up at his godfather miserably. “I don’t know what to do, Remus. I know I need to get better at this for the sake of- well, everyone- but it feels so hopeless…” “Maybe I can help you,” Remus told him gently. “Why don’t you come to see me sometime? I do teach remedial and tutoring courses. Nobody would suspect much if…” “I’m already taking ‘Remedial Potions’ as my cover for Occlumency,” Harry interjected in a small, defeated voice. “If I take anything else remedial, someone might start to wonder why I’m failing everything.” “I suppose that’s fair enough,” Remus sighed with a shake of his head. He and Harry ate in silence for nearly the rest of the meal. Toward the end, he thought of something brighter to say. “Maybe take some flowers to Cho? Flowers make everyone feel better.”“I might do that. Thanks.” Harry pushed up from the table and went to leave. He paused halfway out of the room and then came back. He wrapped Remus in a tight hug and the lycan held him. “I love you,” he said softly and Remus felt tears form instantly in his eyes. It had taken Harry a bit longer to warm to him as a godfather than Sirius. Then again... Sirius had never been his teacher- only a mad stranger and then family. Slowly, bit by bit, Harry lost his formalities. 'Professor' turned to 'sir', 'sir' turned to 'Lupin', and now?...“I love you too, Harry… be careful.” No more had his godson left the room did an obnoxiously pink letter come fluttering in and landed abruptly on his desk. With his eyebrows furrowed, the professor opened it and his heart sank; the warm feelings of a few moments ago withering away in an instant. He read the words on the parchment once. Twice. Then a third time.‘Dear Professor Lupin, You are hereby dismissed as a teacher from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry- effective immediately upon receiving this letter. Reasons for dismissal are as follows: failing to be properly registered with the Ministry of Magic as a werewolf, improper teaching subject matter and methods, and suspected affiliations with dark wizard at large- Sirius Black. Please gather your items and exit the castle.-Dolores Jane Umbridge, High Inquisitor’…Remus comforted Trelawney as he wrapped his arm around her. The Divinations teacher threw herself against his chest and sobbed. They were both standing in the courtyard in front of the school with their trunks packed. The entire student body it seemed had gathered to watch the spectacle and Umbridge was overseeing the event with a smug smile on her piggish face. Remus glared at her then gave Trelawney’s shoulder a soft rub and kissed the top of her head.“There, there, Sybill. I’m here… it’s going to be okay…”“Hogwarts is my home!” she sobbed as she wiped the snot running down her face with the back of her hand. “I don’t have anywhere to go, Remus! I’ve been here for sixteen years!”“Hogwarts was your home,” Dolores corrected Sybill with a cruel, unfeeling smile. “But, the Minister of Magic seems fit that the school would do better without either of you teaching in it. Sybill, you’re a fraud.” Trelawney just wailed louder. “And Remus? Well… I was absolutely stunned when I realized you weren’t registered with the Ministry. Why you were ever allowed to come back here and teach when the entire staff- and a lot of your students- knew you were infected with lycanthropy is absolutely beyond me. This issue has been corrected, trust me. Now all things are as they should be.” Her eyes glittered with hatred. “And of course, I’ll need your resident address to make sure the Ministry has it on record. Your neighbors will want to know that a dangerous monster is in such close quarters to them.” A sense of dread unlike anything that Remus had ever known settled in his stomach and burned at the back of his throat like bile. His resolve shattered. Sybill slipped out of his arms as he slid down to his knees and leaned back against his suitcase. He tried desperately to remember an address- any of them- from any place he’d ever lived. But as soon as he’d tell her, she’d look into it. She’d know he was lying. I can’t go home. She’ll find me. She’ll find Sirius. What do I do?... “That would be my parents’ house,” a calm voice came from the crowd as a familiar form made its way over to where Remus and Sybill were crumpled by their luggage. Nymphadora Tonks walked over to the terrified lycan and knelt beside him. She kissed his cheek. “I’d rather not reveal the address in front of the entire school, if that’s okay. But you can look it up and assign it to the registry.” Umbridge stared with wide, incredulous eyes.“Tonks, you… you and…?”“Remus is my fiancé,” she said simply as she offered him her hand. Shyly, and a bit frazzled, the lycan slid his fingers into her own and stood. She lifted her head proudly. “We’ve been keeping it under wraps for obvious reasons. Didn’t think it was necessarily anyone’s bloody business what we do when we’re not here.” “That explains why she always wreaks of dog,” came a chuckle from somewhere in the crowd and a row of laughter broke out from the Slytherin side. Tonks’ hair turned bright red. “Oi, anyone else want to have a go at me or my betrothed?!” she hissed loyally as she shot an icy glance at Umbridge. “He’s one of the best teachers in this school and it’s a damn shame that we’re losing him…”“Professor Lupin!” a voice came from the crowd and Dolores looked stunned as a blonde-headed girl in Hufflepuff robes made her way through the throng of people. Henrietta’s eyes were bloodshot as she stormed over to Tonks and Lupin. She stared into his eyes for a moment then embraced him. “It’s not fair,” she whispered as she hugged him. “I’ll never pass Potions without you…”“Professor, wait!” Despite the murmurs, Ian pushed through the Slytherin side and came out to face the Charms’ Teacher. He met Remus’ gaze and dipped his head. “Can… Can I write you?... I’ll need lots of help or I’ll be lost on my O.W.L.s.” “Of course you can. I’ll always be there to help you.” Continuing to play the part, he lifted the hand he was using to hold Tonks’ own and brought it to his lips. He kissed the back of her hand softly. “You can reach out to my beloved as well. She’s bloody brilliant. Taught me half of what I know.” “Liar,” Tonks teased honestly. “He has thirteen years on me. Everything I know, I’ve learned from him.” “I'll definitely do that,” Ian said shyly, dipping his head. “Can I write you too?!” Margot rushed forward and wrapped her arms around Remus’ waist. “Me too!” chimed in Jenna as she elbowed her way over. One by one, each of Lupin’s beloved eleven came forward. The girls formed a protective ring around him- so much so that he had to let go of Tonks’ hand. Uriah kept at length with the other boys, but his determined eyes were boring into Umbridge as she watched the scene with anger boiling on her face. Eventually, Harry joined in along with Ron, Ginny, Fred, George, and Hermione. Luna Lovegood and Neville followed shortly after until an entire crowd were gathered around him. Professor Trelawney, who had no one to mourn for her but Parvati and Padma Patil, was sobbing harder than ever. Professor McGonagall pushed her way through the crowd of students and came to the weeping woman’s side. She extended a handkerchief to her and then turned to face Umbridge with a disgusted look crossing her expression. “You cannot make Sybill go.” “Oh, I can’t, can I?” Umbridge’s voice was deadly calm. Instead, when Minerva opened her mouth to speak, Dolores interrupted her. “Under what authority?”“Mine, actually,” the cool, collected voice was that of Albus Dumbledore. He appeared just behind Remus and, as he circled both of the expelled professors, nodded to the students who’d come forward to support the lycan. “As high inquisitor, I must insist that Mr. Lupin and Miss Trelawney be removed from the grounds at once.” “I do believe, that as headmaster of the school, it is I, Dolores, that have final say on removal of people from the premises. You can excuse my staff, that is true. But you cannot remove them from the castle.” He turned his head toward the weeping Sybill. “Minerva, would you so kindly escort her back to her room?” His eyes then drifted over to Remus. “I take it, Nymphadora, that you would like to have the rest of the evening off to get Remus’ things settled back into your home?” “If I could, headmaster,” Tonks replied swiftly, the tips of her hair turning bright orange at the use of her rejected given name. “That would be most gracious.” “Ahem.” Dolores cleared her throat and Dumbledore turned to her politely. “Yes, madam?”“What will we do with Sybill once a new Divinations professor is appointed? Her living quarters will need to be given to the teacher for their office.” “Oh, we don’t have to worry about that. I’ve already filled the position… and he has no need for an office like we’re used to.” Albus motioned through the crowd and, to everyone’s shock, forward came a centaur with incredibly bright blue eyes. “His name is Firenze.” As the gathered students and teachers respectfully lost their minds over the new addition to the staff- Remus took advantage of no longer being the center of attention. He had formed a quill and parchment out of thin air with a swish of his wand and began writing down the names and addresses of his eleven… as well as Harry, Hermione, and Ron just to make it seem like he was impartial to them. He blinked thankfully at Henrietta- who had come to him first. “If anyone else needs some help… will you get their information for me? And give it to Tonks?”“Yes,” she said in a soft voice as she wiped her tears away. “I’m so sad, professor… it isn’t fair.”“It isn’t,” Tonks growled, steaming. “It’s racist. It’s horrible. It’s…”“Cruel,” Hermione whispered and the Hufflepuff nodded. “Will you tell us when your wedding is?” Jenna asked sheepishly and Tonks’ cheeks flushed with color. “I’d love to send you a gift!”“I’ll let you all know everything as soon as we’ve decided,” she told them all lightly as she kissed Remus’ cheek again- something that made Hermione blush ferociously. “I’m going to talk to Dumbledore to see if I can take over teaching Charms and remedials in Remus’ place. So you all can still get the enrichment you need and then I can directly give you his replies to your letters in class. Would you all be okay with that?” “It’s the best alternative we could have asked for,” Uriah responded as he gave Remus a fist bump… then shook his hand. “Best luck to you, mate. I hope we’ll see you around.”“I’m sure you will sometime.” Remus offered them all a gentle smile. He looked into each of their faces and then nodded. He grabbed one of his trunks and Tonks took the other. They held hands again and began to walk toward the entrance to Hogwarts. Once by the main gate, Remus looked back over his shoulder and saw the nineteen students were still watching him. His heart ached when he noticed that Filius Flitwick had joined them. He waved at him and the others followed suit.“R-Remus?” Henrietta called, using his name for the first time. The lycan smiled in a sad way and nodded at her. “Yes, Miss Clayborne?”“I still think you’re very brave.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Sirius turned the page of the book he was reading. Werewolves: Do They Live Among Us? He found it nearly amusing. It was written by a halfblood witch named Shayla Farr and there was a lot of misinformation in it. He furrowed his eyebrows and turned the page. Shayla spent way too much time around muggles instead of magic folk. What the fuck is this about silver making lycans sick? Remus loves that necklace I got him for his birthday… He froze. A familiar clicking sound came to his ears and he knew instantly that someone was coming into his house. But I’m not expecting anyone from the Order today…

Sirius folded down the corner of the page he was on and shifted from man to dog. He crept through the corridors, hackles raised, and teeth bared. He stopped just short of the doorway where a middle-aged, plump, plain looking woman with dark hair was hanging up a simple yellow jacket. She glanced over at Sirius with an unbothered look on her face. She was wearing a rather homely green hat that matched an identical ugly handbag. And from that bag, a fluffy white cat stuck out its head.

“Wotcher, cousin,” greeted the woman with a wink. Padfoot took a step back, his eyes wide. He transformed from beast to man and smiled in a wild, goofy way. He embraced the stranger as she melted away before his eyes to reveal the young, slender form of Nymphadora Tonks.

“What are you doing here?!” Sirius laughed. “Shouldn’t you be at the school?... And what’s with the cat? Bold of you to bring a feline into a house made for dogs.”

“Funny you should mention that,” Tonks chuckled. She sat down her bag and the white cat stepped out. It meowed softly, purring, and bumped against Sirius’ legs. The Auror flicked her wand at it and the feline transformed into a lanky man with scars on his face and soft, adoring hazel eyes.

“Hey Pads.”

“Remus?!” Sirius embraced his beloved and held him tightly. He grabbed the lycan’s face, brushed his thumbs over his lips, and kissed him. Remus smiled, color filling his cheeks as he returned the mirth.

“Mm… I missed you too…”

“Get a room, you filthy heathens,” Tonks laughed as she headed down the hall. She tripped over the edge of the gold and maroon rug that decorated the living room floor and tumbled onto the couch. Sirius burst out laughing as he came over and sat down with Remus’ hand in his own.

“Honest to God, how did Moody handle you as his apprentice with you being as clumsy as you are?”

“My devilish humor and strong wit makes up for it,” she replied simply as she reached over to the coffee table and grabbed a still warm scone from a plate. “You and your baked goods, Sirius…” she sunk her teeth into the biscuit and smiled at the flavor. “Are these cranberry orange?” The Animagus nodded almost shyly. “Bloody delicious! Maybe one day when you’re free, you can open up a little shop somewhere and sell this kind of stuff. Cookies, pastries, candies, cakes- I can see it now!” Sirius shook his head, embarrassment coloring his face a cherry red. He was suddenly very interested in the hole in the sock on his left foot.

“Tonks, you’re too much, really…”

“No, seriously! We can use some of your inheritance and set up a shop in Diagon Alley. It would be so nice- something so simple and pleasant after all the hell you’ve been through.”

“Yeah. Everyone’s going to want to come buy pies and muffins from a former prisoner of Azkaban who was incarcerated for twelve years for the- alleged- murder of a dozen people and his former friend. We can call it ‘The Grim Café’ and stitch it into Knockturn Alley.” Neither Remus or Tonks laughed, but it made Sirius smirk in a grave sort of way. Tonks took another scone. “So,” Sirius said after a while to clear the air. “Why are there two Hogwarts professors at 12 Grimmauld Place at half passed nine on a Monday?”

“Well,” Remus began softly. “Technically speaking… I’m not a Hogwarts professor anymore.”

“You… what?” Sirius sat back in his seat. Remus nodded, placed his hand on Sirius’ knee, and started from the beginning. By the time he finished, the heir to the House of Black had a nearly unreadable expression on his handsome, haunted face.

“Padfoot?...”

“But your eleven!” he protested suddenly. “Moony, what will they do?! You said yourself that Uriah can’t brew a proper potion to save his life.”

“He can’t,” Remus agreed. “I’ll teach him from afar. Tonks is going to help me.”

“Your betrothed,” Sirius muttered and the Auror threw her hands up in the air.

“Oh, don’t be like that, cousin! I had no other option. Umbridge was going to demand a living address from Remus before she dismissed him. You have to remember that I’m a member of the Ministry through the Auror league. So my next of kin are all listed in my file- and since I have no children, everything in there is all information about my parents. I also live with them. I sent them a message as soon as we cleared the grounds- before we got on the bus. We would have been here sooner, but I had a feeling Umbridge was watching us somehow. We went to eat at a café in town just in case there was anyone trailing us. Then, before we got close to the manor, I transfigured Remus to keep him out of the public eye. I’m not sure how many spies Umbridge has, but I’m not trying to give her any reason to suspect that what we told her today wasn’t true.”

“I’m going to send some of my things over to the Tonks residence,” Remus told Sirius gently. “She’s going to put them in her room so, in case anyone comes looking, it will seem like I actually live there.”

“Andromeda will do good by it,” Sirius said after a while, the gears in his mind turning. “She was always my favorite cousin- your mother. We were very close you know.”

“I’m aware,” Tonks chuckled as Sirius’ mood seemed to lighten. Sirius sighed and leaned back against the couch, shaking his head as he ran a hand through his hair. He opened his mouth to speak but Tonks cut him off. “Maybe… when all of this is over, we can be a real family again, Sirius? You, mom, dad, Remus, Harry, and I can all start again. Bring true honor to the House of Black. We could leave the blood supremacy to die with the rest of them.” Sirius stared at her, his eyes softening.

“I’d like that very much, Dora.”

“Dora?!” Tonks looked aghast at the nickname. But then she smiled. “Why the fuck have I never thought of that? I love it!” She yawned suddenly and then checked the time. She rolled her eyes. “I need to head to the house. Remus, I’ll take your trunks with me and send you back whatever I don’t use in the morning. Okay?”

“Okay,” he replied sheepishly as Tonks pulled him into a hug. She released him and gripped Sirius equally as hard.

“I love you very much, cousin.”

“I love you too,” Sirius replied, breathing in her scent as he tried to stake it as something familiar. Warm. Safe. Home. Family?... “Are you going back to school tomorrow then?”

“First thing,” she replied, yawning again as she peeled herself away. “I’m sure I’ll have a lot of questions to answer to… Remus- if anyone asks- I’m giving the following answers: we started seeing each other the year after you taught Defense Against the Dark Arts. Our anniversary is Christmas Eve…”

“How original,” Sirius coughed and Remus gave him a sharp jab with his elbow.

“That’s also when you asked me to marry you- so there’s no confusion with dates.”

“Do your parents approve of us?” Remus asked with an eyebrow raised. Tonks chuckled.

“Tough luck if they don’t. But they do.” She gave him a wink. “Now, if you’ll excuse me- goodnight cousin. Goodnight fake husband.”

“Goodnight fake wife!”

“Goodnight Dora!”

When Tonks was gone, Remus turned to face Sirius with a knowing look on his face. “So… How jealous are you?”

“Jealous? Me?” Sirius stared at the plate of scones like he wanted to set them on fire. “Christmas Eve, huh? You two just celebrated your second anniversary a few weeks ago. Congratulations.”

“Padfoot…” Remus couldn’t help but smile at the shortness in his beloved’s voice. He kissed Sirius’ cheek and could nearly feel the tension boiling underneath. “It’s just a cover story. She’s trying to protect both of us and what we’re working to build together. You know that, don’t you?”

“Dora is… a sensitive topic for me,” Sirius replied after a moment, his tone even and deadly calm. “If you remember.” Of course I do.

Tonks had been deployed to Hogwarts the same year as Lupin. But while he taught Defense Against the Dark Arts and was a coach to underperforming students, she focused on Concealment courses and encouraged sixth and seventh year students to consider Auror work as a career. They became quick friends due to their new teacher status as well as their rather odd personalities. Tonks developed a crush on Remus right away… which led to a major falling out between him and Sirius that somehow both nearly ended their friendship and also kickstarted their current relationship.

“Just… why did it have to be her? Why couldn’t Flitwick have shoved his tongue in your mouth or something…” Sirius turned his gaze toward his lover and suddenly had a beckoning, nearly overpowering feeling creep up his spine. He became eclipsed by a strange sensation that pulled from somewhere deep inside. Something very dog like in nature. As if someone had taken a beloved bone from him and buried it in a place he’d never find. An odd gleam entered his eyes and suddenly Sirius grabbed both sides of Remus’ face and pulled himself onto his lap. Remus’ world went fuzzy and all other thoughts melted away as Sirius kissed him. Slowly, deeply, and tenderly at first. And then… wild, frenzied, aching, and desperate. The former professor gasped around Sirius’ tongue as he licked aggressively inside his mouth and held his head with ferocious force. Sirius broke the kiss, trailed his mouth to Remus’ neck, and bit him. Lupin’s pupils shrunk into pinpoints and he grasped desperately at his lover’s shoulders as chills of absolute pleasure raced up his spine.

“F-Fuck, Padfoot,” he groaned as he felt Sirius grow hard against him- the seam of his pajama pants pressing against the lycan’s stomach. “B-Babe…”

“Mine,” Sirius growled as he removed his mouth and replaced the grip on Remus’ neck with his hand. He held his lover’s gaze- wild gray eyes meeting submissive hazel hues. He kissed Remus again, never breaking eye contact with him as he offered that crazy, dangerous smile. “You’re all mine, aren’t you Moony?” he asked in that needy, grainy, sultry voice that always made Remus weak in the knees. The lycan nodded, nearly sick with longing from the pressure on his lap and the rough grip around his throat.

“All yours, Sirius.”

“Say it again.”

“I’m… all… yours.” Remus whined and offered him a nearly mad smile. “I want you so bad.”

“Do you?” Sirius drew Remus in by the hold he had on his throat. He moved to kiss him and Remus leaned forward- desperate to accept the feeling of Sirius’ lips on his own. Instead, the Animagus pulled back and shook his head. He climbed off Remus’ lap and studied him for a moment, as if trying to decide how to arrange his meal. He held Remus’ gaze as he unbuttoned his cardigan- the yellow one he’d gotten for Christmas. Then he pulled off his sweater. Pushed down his trousers… Remus felt that familiar unease creeping in on him as he sat on the couch, completely bare, facing Sirius as the fireplace flickered. The flames cast unflattering shadows across his skin- deepening the lines on his face and the paleness of his scars. Sirius towered over him, sweeping his gaze from left to right as he drank in every delicious detail of his beloved’s body. He categorized each scar and gave it a name in his mind. Finally, he tilted his head and brushed his fingers across the faintest trace of the bitemark he’d left on Remus’ chest to represent the star of Sirius. He then ran his fingertips across the lycan’s nipple and Remus drew a hard breath. He was covered in goosebumps and shivering with desire. He’s looking at me like he’s hunting me… Why is that driving me wild?...

“Sirius…”

“Hush,” he whispered as he took Remus’ chin between his fingers and held him steady. Remus felt his mouth watering but he silenced anyway. Sirius’ pupils sharpened. “Which cheek did she kiss?”

“My left, sir.” Lupin’s heart was pounding in his chest as Sirius turned his head and ran his tongue from the bottom of his jaw, across his left cheek, then curved back to his ear. He took the lobe between his teeth and held it for a few aching moments. Then he released it.

“You’re mine,” he repeated as he slid slowly to his knees in front of the couch. Remus’ eyes were wide and filled with lust as Sirius took his heat between his hands and gave him a few, deep, adoring strokes. They locked eyes and Remus found that he was nearly burning with desire. There was a hunger in Sirius’ gaze that he’d never seen before. Something wild. Something carnal. Something… predatory. Sirius took him between his lips and every nerve in Remus’ body blazed. The lycan groaned and pushed his hands into his lover’s hair, his head leaning against the back of the couch. Every lick was melting. Every turn of his head was blistering. His teeth. His tongue. His moans. Sirius dug his fingernails into Remus’ hips and pulled him closer to the edge so that he slid in deeper. Remus felt himself pushing at the back of Sirius’ throat and it brought blissful stars to his vision as he held him there, black curls twined between his fingers.

“Oh… my… God…” Remus groaned as he lifted his head. Sirius’ cheeks were flushed from effort and he had tears beading his lashes. But his eyes were closed and his brow was furrowed in a display of deadly focus. Sirius gagged around the heat in his mouth but didn’t relent, just pushed himself down further and harder. Remus knew he wouldn’t last long. It was too intense and just… so good. Shamefully, he began to thrust into Sirius’ mouth, feeling the climax crawl in as his lover lurched around him. “Mm… just a little more…” Sirius groaned and nodded, opening his bloodshot eyes to meet Remus’ gaze. He blinked a few tears away and took him down to the skin again, holding that depth as Remus pushed in and out of his mouth with a singular, desperate focus. The former professor was panting with desire, his body covered in goosebumps, and with sweat beading his brow. He tried to speak, tried to ask for permission, tried to make any sound that wasn’t just eager moans and near screams of euphoria. Hardly any noise came as he was pushed over the edge. He held Sirius’ still and threw his head back. His pupils nearly swallowed his irises, leaving only thin rings of hazel around pools of black as he filled Sirius’ mouth. The Animagus groaned and lurched against him but never once pulled away. He drank down the spill with a calm, burning fire in his eyes. Only when there was nothing left did he remove himself.

Sirius left Remus’ fingers and the lycan uncoiled from his hair, letting his hands fall empty to his sides. He was trembling. His vision swam. He was throbbing still and he winced as Sirius licked the wetness from his thighs, shaft, and belly. Remus held Sirius’ gaze and nearly melted when he offered that dangerous, deadly smile. He kissed his way up Remus’ shaking body and then pushed him on his side. The lycan went to lay on his back but Sirius growled at him and he froze. It wasn’t a Sirius growl- the low humming from a human voice. It was different. Deeper. Primal. Beastly. Remus held his gaze as Sirius leaned over him and kissed him- hard. Then he trailed his tongue down Remus’ cheek, his neck, his collarbone, his chest, stomach, hip, lower back…

“Sirius, what are you?…” Remus’ breath caught in his throat as Sirius gripped either side of his rump and buried his face between them. Color filled the lycan’s face and he gasped when Sirius’ tongue lapped inside him with a strength that made him dizzy. His senses flooded with too many things. Pleasure. Embarrassment. Desire. And above all… surrender. He let Sirius wrap his arms around him and flip him over on his belly. He let himself be pulled back into every feral lick. And… he let himself submit to it all. Remus was panting again, his chest heaving with every breath. He had his face buried in the couch cushion, sucking in deep gulps of air between the desperate moans that were flooding from his lips. He was soaked. Wetness coated his thighs and was running down his legs. Sirius was feverish and the more sound Remus made, the more pleasure he gave him. Remus’ fingernails scraped into the upholstery on the sofa and he felt his world spinning. I’m going to cum again… Merlin, I can’t… I can’t… I…

“Good boy,” Sirius growled again in that voice that didn’t quite belong to him. Something in the guttural tone of it brought chills up Remus’ spine and nudged him even closer to another release. The lycan bit his lip, desperately longing for two things: to climax… and to please his master. “Good boy, Moony… cum for me. Hard.” He ran his tongue through again and Remus’ composure shattered. He wasn’t sure if the sound that he made was a scream or a howl but it happened all the same. Stars burst in his vision as Sirius ravaged him.

“Yes! Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Bliss sept into every corner of his body as the high boiled over. Sirius pulled his mouth away with a sickening ‘pop’ and Remus sunk onto the couch with no air left in his lungs. He let Sirius roll him over on his back. He met his lover’s eyes with adoration clouding his gaze. Sirius smiled at him dangerously as he leaned over him.

“Mm, good boy,” the Animagus praised as he gave Remus’ throat a squeeze. When the lycan bit his lip and rolled his hips underneath him, Sirius shuttered. He roughly patted Remus’ left cheek- the one Tonks had kissed- once. Twice. On the third time, it stung a little and Remus whined from the pressure on his skin. He was covered in a sinful cocktail of sweat, arousal, and saliva. And still, he felt himself swimming with desire as Sirius kissed him again. It was soft at first but quickly turned primal. Tongues and growls passed between them as Sirius worked out of his pajamas, cupped Remus under his spine, arched him lightly, and pushed inside. Remus saw flashes of color in his vision and gasped, breaking the kiss as heat coursed through him.

“S-S-Sirius…”

“You can cum one more time for me,” he whispered in his ear in the voice that was grainy and sultry and wild. “I know you can, Moon.”

“I… I don’t think…” Remus gasped when Sirius pushed all the way inside of him- easily so from all the wetness that was still coating his legs. “Fuck!”

“Yes you can. Don’t tell me no,” the Animagus growled and again, Remus’ world caught on fire. He dug his nails into Sirius’ shoulders and let himself be bred. He looked into those wild gray eyes and nodded slowly. Sirius offered him that insane smile and turned his head to the side. When the Animagus sunk his teeth into Remus’ neck, he screamed. And this time… he knew it was a howl.

“H-Harder…” Remus whispered as he desperately clawed at his beloved’s back, leaving crisscrosses of bloody stripes from his nails. Sirius obliged- both in the bite and the force of entry. Remus felt it building from everywhere and tears formed in his eyes. He was so weak. So vulnerable… And so sick with euphoria and the desire to give, to perform, to please. It was going to take every ounce of strength he had. And I don’t care. I want him to have it all.

Sirius released his grip on Remus’ neck and claimed his mouth with a dominating kiss. He’d never felt like this before. This possessive energy that burned from inside him was unlike anything he’d ever known. But it wasn’t angry. Or violent. Or mad. It was primal- no, more than that. Sacred. Etched into his bones like the bloodlines from the House of Black. The world was pushing in on them from the outside and he felt a drumming in his soul to show the world right back that they wouldn’t be shaken. Remus belongs to me. And I belong to him. Nothing will tear that apart. Absolutely nothing.

Remus was close again. He was desperately squirming underneath Sirius, pushing his body against his own to meet every thrust. He was panting hard into the Animagus’ mouth- lapping against his tongue in a nearly feral way. Sirius felt his lover tremble. His thigh was twitching. His breath was jagged. His fingernails were drawing blood. Sirius broke the kiss to let Remus breathe and the lycan gasped for air. He tried to turn his head away, his face flushed from passion, effort, and anticipation. Sirius caught his chin and forced him to look into his eyes. He held his master’s gaze- not daring to look away.

“I-I’m going to…”

“I know.”

“Fuck, Padfoot, I can hardly breathe…”

“Keep breathing anyway. Good boy.” Remus groaned from the praise, his eyebrows furrowing. I’m right there!

“S-Sirius!...”

“That’s it. That’s my pretty puppy. Cum hard for me…” the grainy, rumbly, needy voice was blanketed in that growl. Sirius smiled at Remus and drove himself in all the way. It pushed him over. The lycan threw his head back as fireworks of silver light flashed in his vision. He tried to scream- maybe he did, he couldn’t tell. Sirius kissed him. Sweetly, softly, tenderly; on his mouth, on his throat, across his collarbone. Remus was shaking against him, his lips parted in ecstasy, his eyes wide and filled with tears from pleasure. He was barely aware of Sirius pulling out of him until the sudden emptiness brought air back into his lungs. Remus watched with bleary eyes and spotty vision as his lover leaned over him. Lupin heard him growl and groan in delight for a few heartbeats before a fresh wave of heat spread over his chest. Remus blinked numbly as his senses came back to him and he wiped his tears away. Sirius laid beside him and brushed the dampness from his face as he smiled at his weathered lover.

“Mine,” he said again, in a voice that was more his own this time. He kissed Remus’ mouth and the former professor groaned.

“All… all y-yours,” he whispered, still winded. He glanced down at himself and realized that he was… quite disgusting. His entire body was glistening with sweat. Drops of blood from Sirius’ back had dripped onto his torso- of which, he was coated in a mixture of his arousal and Sirius’ own. His thighs were all but sticking together. Merlin, just look at me. I’m…

“Filthy pup,” Sirius murmured as he kissed Remus’ cheek. “You’re completely covered in me now, aren’t you?”

“Pretty much so, yeah,” Remus sighed dreamily as he licked his lips. Oh, what an honor to be consumed head to toe by Sirius Black… “Did… did you cum on me?...”

“Are you complaining?”

“You scent marked me.”

“Are you complaining?” he repeated.

“… No. Absolutely not,” Remus replied as he brushed his nose against Sirius’ own. His lover blinked at him softly. “Sirius, that was… insane. You’ve never… We’ve never… I never…”

“I don’t know what came over me,” the Animagus replied with a tremble in his voice. “I just… couldn’t stop. It was like a pull. Like a need from somewhere deep inside.” He clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth and sat up. Remus watched, wide-eyed, as Sirius pulled off his plain gray overshirt and used it to wipe the mess off his chest.

“You could use your wand to…”

“No,” Sirius interjected. “I don’t want to erase what we did, Moon. I just want to clean it up a bit. I want your skin to show my teeth, your mouth to hold the taste of my tongue, and your body to have the echoes of me. You are mine. And I want the world to know that.” Remus was breathless as Sirius wiped gently between his thighs. He watched, awestruck, as the man he loved cleaned him up. Briefly, his eyes snagged on the sight of Sirius’ back. He sat up, concern etched on his face at the mad furrows of bloodied scratches that were etched into his skin.

“Padfoot, let me get something for that…”

“It’s fine,” Sirius told him in a gentle voice. He tilted his head and smiled at his lover as he used his now very filthy shirt to wipe the moisture from his face. “I want them to scar. I want to have them forever. Every mark you leave on me, Moony, is a pleasure. If my skin can hold the memories of our passion, I see that as an honor.” He leaned in and kissed Remus again on his trembling lips. “I adore you, Mr. Lupin. And I love you with all my heart.”

“I l-love you too,” Remus whispered shakily with tears in his eyes. “God, Padfoot, I can barely move…”

“I’ve got you, love…” with a soft smile on his lips, Sirius stood from the couch and took Remus in his arms. The lycan’s eyes lit in surprise as the former prisoner turned on his heels and headed for the staircase. Remus leaned his head against Sirius’ chest and ran his fingers through some of the tight, black curls of hair. He shakily took hold of the crescent-moon shaped pendant on Sirius’ necklace and unscrewed the top. He took a sip from the vile and shuddered at the unpleasant taste of Wolfsbane. “Good boy,” Sirius praised him as he nudged their cracked bedroom door open. Remus’ cheeks flushed as he was laid down in their bed. He watched Sirius with adoring eyes as he tucked him in.

“Left our wands downstairs, I think,” Sirius yawned as he closed their bedroom door. He glanced over at the Lunar Clock and noticed where the arrow was pointing. Sirius pulled his hair back in a bun as he climbed into bed. “Tomorrow will be the worst of it then.”

“Yes,” Remus replied as Sirius pulled him in and the lycan sighed happily as he curled against his chest. “It’ll be a bad one, I figure. I can feel the fire in my bones.”

“Good thing you’re home,” Sirius whispered as he kissed the top of his head. “I’m sorry about your job, Moony. I know how much you loved it.”

“Maybe I can go back one day,” Remus said softly through a yawn. “Until then, I’ll be more than content to be here with you. I’m definitely happy to have more of your cooking. Tonks was right about how delicious your sweets are.”

“Have a little shop in Diagon Alley,” Sirius murmured sleepily as he closed his eyes. “Padfoot’s Delights?”

“Not bad. Black’s Bakery?”

“Absolutely not. You vile thing.”Remus chuckled as his eyes fluttered shut. “The Dog’s Bowl?” he suggested instead.

“Funny,” Sirius chuckled. “Mr. Moon’s?”

“I like that one,” Remus halfway murmured. “Sirius’ Sweets…”

“… The Hippogriff Hive…”

“… Four Paws Bakery…” They kept on like that, gingerly throwing ideas back and forth until sleep came for them. . . . “Cousin? Remus?” Tonks called as she stepped into the headquarters for The Order of the Phoenix. It was just after dawn and she was dressed for teaching as she sat Remus’ suitcase down by the front door. A delicious aroma of sweet and savory smells was wafting through the house and it made her mouth water. “I’ve brought your things!”

“In the kitchen, Dora!” Sirius’ voice rang back and she smiled as she took off toward the center of the house. Before she’d even made it around the corner, Sirius came to meet her and wrapped her in a hug. He held her tight and Tonks smiled, though a bit surprised, and hugged him back.

“Well, you’re in a good mood!” she laughed as he pulled away from her then offered her a seat at the table. Her eyes softened when she saw a small banquet of amazing food. “Oh, Sirius, this looks lovely…”

“Eat with us before you head to work?” he offered warmly as he grabbed a skillet of eggs from the stove and sat them on top of a crocheted oven mitt that was distinctly the work of Molly Weasley. “We were hoping we’d catch you before you left for school. Wanted to surprise you.”

“You did all this... for me?” she asked softly as Sirius scooped some fried potatoes onto a plate that had pieces of nearly raw steak on it. Remus offered her a small smile from the seat adjacent her.

“You’ve done so much for us. It’s the least we can do to show how grateful we are.” Sirius sat the plate down in front of his lover and the lycan nodded to him thankfully.

“It’s what any member of the Order would do,” Tonks protested, the tips of her hair turning bright pink in embarrassment as Sirius fixed her a plate. She was eyeing a platter of still steaming cinnamon rolls and Sirius noticed. He chuckled and gave her two before setting the full dish down in front of her.

“But the other members didn’t do it. You’ve been doing it. And also…” Sirius took a seat between the two of them and smiled genuinely at her. “You’ve given me a family again. And for that, I can’t repay you.” He lifted a glass of orange juice. “To Dora- reject of the Black family, clumsy Auror, brilliant professor, and my beloved’s fake wife.”

“Here, here!” Remus laughed as he clinked his glass against Sirius’ own and Tonks smiled widely as she did the same.

“To my mangy cousin, his lover- my fake husband, and bloody Harry Potter!”

“To Harry!” After they’d all laughed and toasted, the three of them dug heavily into their breakfasts with the merry sound of chewing and idle chatter passing between them. Remus barely tasted the steak tips Sirius prepared for him- nearly swallowing them whole like a ravenous dog. Tonks hardly touched any of her actual food, she just kept eating cinnamon rolls and complimenting Sirius on how fluffy and light they were. And Sirius Black drank three glasses of orange juice and picked at his potatoes- too full with the joy of good company to have any room left for his food.

I hope it’s always like this, he thought as he scratched the back of his neck. Color filled his face when his fingers grazed a scabbed over scratch from Remus’ fingernails. He met his lover’s gaze across the table as Tonks sunk her teeth into a scone. Remus smiled at him softly and nodded. The gentleness on his beloved's face and the slight heat in his cheeks lit a fire in Sirius’ soul. I’ll take on this entire world to make sure we always have this. For me, for Remus, for Tonks… and for bloody Harry Potter.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Sirius tried to feel bad for Remus. But the days and weeks following his dismissal from Hogwarts were genuinely some of the happiest moments he’d had in years. There was tea every evening and hot coffee every morning. They had two meals a day together and Remus spent more and more time with Sirius in the kitchen, learning the recipes he loved to bake. And the lovemaking? Sirius wasn’t sure what he had expected Remus to be like on a daily basis now that they were comfortable and established. But the way he is?...

At least once a day, Remus would approach him from behind and wrap those long, lanky arms around him. He’d squeeze him tight and kiss the back of his neck. He wouldn’t even have to speak, but Sirius always knew what he wanted. And he would happily oblige. The day of the full moon- they’d done it four times. Sirius had woken with Remus’ mouth around his heat, and he let the lycan breed him into bliss. Then again, as they were making breakfast (Sirius was a little upset he’d burned the blueberry muffins- but the aggressive shag on the floor made up for it). After tea, but before dinner, Remus took him again- this time in the shower. Then just before the sun went down, they’d made love in Walburga’s room… much to her very vocal displeasure. Padfoot was there for Moony as the wolf reared its ugly head and the two play fought for much of the night until the raging canine eventually tired. The next morning was a hard one.

The former professor had crawled downstairs and collapsed on the couch, his entire body aching as the smell of a delightful breakfast filled the house. After some time, Sirius emerged with a plate in each hand. He sat them down on the coffee table then settled in beside his beloved. Slowly, painfully, Remus rolled over on his back. Sirius guided Remus’ legs over his own and began to gently rub his feet. As the Animagus kneaded his arches with brilliant thumbs, Remus snagged a piece of bacon off the plate nearest him and shoved it in his mouth.

“Rough night,” Sirius said softly as he smiled at his lover. “You were trying with all your might to get out of the room. Submitted after a while though.”

“Sorry,” Remus apologized with heat searing his face. He shamefully took another piece of bacon and ate it ravenously. He noticed then that Sirius was wearing his morning robe with the string tied tightly. His pupils narrowed- as his senses were always sharpest the day before, of, and after the cycle. He nodded toward his darling.

“You never close your robe like that… what are you hiding? Did I hurt you last night?”

“Clawed up my shoulders a bit through the sessions,” Sirius chuckled. “Tore me up a bit more after the sun went down. Don’t worry about it, love. I put some dittany on it. I’m sure I’ll feel better soon.”

“I want to see.”

“Remus, I don’t know if…”

“Padfoot. I want to see.” Remus held Sirius’ stare and instantly the former prisoner knew he’d lost. He sighed and nodded. He pulled his hands away from Remus’ feet- something that made the lycan groan with sadness. Rubs are my favorite after full moons… his thoughts skewed as Sirius did as he was asked and pulled back his robe- revealing shoulders with dozens of furrows and a chest that was angry with bitemarks and scratches. Remus sat up slowly, his eyes wide. “H-Honey…”

“I know what I signed up for,” Sirius told him sternly as he took Remus’ left foot in his hands again and began to knead the arch of it with his thumbs. Instantly, Lupin melted and leaned against the couch, his cheek pressed to the cushions. “That’s it, gorgeous… let me take care of you.” Remus groaned and closed his eyes. He didn’t even know that he fell asleep. But when Remus opened his eyes again, the room was filled with shades of dusk and Sirius had gone from him. He slid his gaze over the cold plate of breakfast and, once again, reached for a piece of bacon. It was stiff with cooled grease but he didn’t care. I just need meat. Remus shoved the poor scrap of protein in his mouth and then his ears pricked. Someone was talking somewhere in the house. He tapped into his senses. Tonks and Sirius. In the kitchen.

“… Harry’s okay though? You promise she didn’t hurt him?” Sirius sounded quite worried. Remus strained his ears, closed his eyes, and chewed his bacon.

“No, she didn’t do anything. I think she tried to use Veritaserum on him- from what Harry told me. He didn’t drink it though. Good lad… You’ve heard about Dumbledore by now?” There was a silence and Tonks sipped her tea. “Bloody insane. I have Umbridge trailing me every step I take now that Remus and I are an 'item'. I’ve had Ministry shites in and out of my house for the last few weeks. They keep asking me where he is and I keep saying he’s out looking for work, but times are hard for werewolves. I managed to make one of them really uncomfortable when I mentioned he gets hot and bothered around full moons and they’d best let me be alone before he got home. Might ravish me in front of them.” He couldn’t help it, Sirius let out a row of barking laughter.

“You’re not kidding! Look at my shoulders.” There was another small click of silence and Tonks gasped.

“Jumping Jesus and Merlin’s moans, Padfoot! Does he always tear you up like this?”

“No, it’s usually not that bad. Just the cuff in my neck here. I like it though- for the most part.” By now, Remus’ heart was pounding in his chest. Is the Ministry already onto us?... Did they follow Tonks here? No, she’d never have come if she thought she was being tracked. Have I been worse lately?... Is she worried about that?... Is Sirius?...

“Something’s off though, Dora. He’s been more aggressive- even with taking the Wolfsbane damn near daily. I think it’s the war. I need to get him more potion, now that I think of it- it won’t be so easily available now that he isn’t at Hogwarts. Do you think you could get some from Snape?... He might give it to you, and I know he won't do me any favors anymore.”

“I can try. He doesn’t even say your name anymore. Just hisses ‘Black’ through gritted teeth since the day Arthur came home and you two nearly dueled over the kitchen table.” Tonks replied before taking another sip of her tea. She swallowed it hard. “And besides… he’s been in an odd mood lately. Between you and me.” There was another stretch of silence. Tonks took another hard drink of her tea. “And… there’s something else. Something’s wrong with Harry.” Remus’ heart nearly skipped a beat.

“You said that Umbridge didn’t get through to him.”

“I don’t think she has. It’s not… like that. The last time we talked, he said he and Cho had an argument.”

“Over her friend being a snitch?”

“What he says.” Another sip from her cup. “Said it was a nasty row.”

“Poor pup,” Sirius muttered. For a moment, silence stretched between them.

“I need to get back to school.” Remus heard shuffling and he knew they were hugging. “You have the letters from the eleven then?” There was a brief pause and Remus figured Sirius had nodded. “Will you give him my love when he wakes up?”

“I’ll even kiss him for you.”

“Oh, bless you, cousin,” she chuckled. “Give him more than that if you want.”

“The scandal!”

Remus let his eyes shut as Sirius walked Tonks to the door and bade her a farewell. When it was just the two of them again, the Animagus took a seat beside his lover and placed a hand on his knee. The sweet, intoxicating smell of chocolate wafted into the lycan’s nose and he slowly turned his head toward his beloved and let his eyes flutter open. Sirius had flour dusted on his face and a pinch of cocoa powder in his graying beard. Nestled into the nook of his free arm, there was a bowl of thick, indulgent brown batter. The aroma made his mouth water.

“What is it?” Remus asked and Sirius smiled brightly.

“Brownies! Or... it will be. I wanted to make you something nice and sweet for when you woke up. You slept like the dead. How are you feeling?...”

“Not… great,” Lupin replied honestly, swallowing down the saliva that pooled on his tongue. He glanced up at Sirius with burning hazel eyes. “Brownies sound… divine.”

“Want to taste the batter? See what you think? I made it from scratch.” Remus again had to swallow down the water behind his teeth. He nodded. Much to his surprise, instead of picking up the spoon, Sirius dipped his middle and pointer finger into the bowl. He scraped a small amount of the batter off on the side of the pan and then lifted his hand to Remus’ mouth. He couldn’t even try to swallow down his saliva this time. He eagerly parted his lips and let Sirius place his fingers on his tongue. He instantly melted. He closed his mouth around Sirius’ fingers and eagerly licked the batter from them. The flavor was absolutely indulgent. Rich, decadent, calming… and the chocolate tastes divine too. Remus saw Sirius’ cheeks flush with color and he couldn’t suppress his desperate whimpers when the former prisoner shoved his fingers deeper and tipped them in the back of his throat. Remus groaned as goosebumps raced up his spine when Sirus began to rock in and out of his mouth.

“Such a good boy,” he praised in that gravelly, needy, grainy voice that always set Remus on fire. The lycan closed his eyes as the taste of chocolate and Sirius’ skin began to drown out his senses. He was faintly aware of the sound of Sirius placing the bowl on the coffee table. Then that other hand grabbed his throat. Fingers in his mouth, chocolate on his tongue, pressure on his windpipe; Remus Lupin casually slipped into near bliss. Until…

“Sirius? Remus? Are you there?” Instantly, Sirius removed himself from his lover. Remus gasped from the loss of pressure as his eyes flew open. He felt a wand tap against his knee and the thin tendrils of saliva cleaned from his chin and neck. Sirius’ hands were back to normal, no longer coated in sticky liquid. They had made themselves presentable not a second too soon. For in the next instant- Harry Potter’s face appeared in their fireplace.

“Harry?!” Sirius came off the couch and hurried to the hearth. He was instantly on high alert. “What’s happened? Is something…”

“I’m fine. But I don’t have long,” the Gryffindor replied quickly. “I’m in Umbridge’s office… Look, there’s just some stuff I wanted to talk to you about. I can’t get it out of my head. Stuff about… dad.”

“Okay?...” Remus muttered as he, ungracefully, slid to the floor at Sirius’ side. “What is it?” Harry took a deep breath… and began. He started from the beginning, back a few Mondays ago during an Occlumency lesson with Snape. He told them about how, out of curiosity, he’d peered into the Potion Masters’ Pensieve… and what he’d seen there. It was not a pleasant tale. One of James, Sirius, Peter, and Remus’ less fine moments. When the Marauders had collectively humiliated Severus in front of a crowd of cheering, laughing students. When Harry was done talking, Sirius and Remus exchanged a rather confused glance then looked back at him again.

“Harry,” Remus began shakily. “Has this been what’s been bothering you lately?...”

“He was cruel to him!” Harry snapped. “Everything Snape has ever told me about my dad was true. He was arrogant, he was brazen, he was a bully! No wonder Snape hates me- I look, and act, just like him according to nearly everyone I know.”

“Are you really going to judge your father based on one memory from when he was fifteen years old?” Sirius questioned with a raised eyebrow.

“I’m fifteen right now, Sirius, and I’d never do to someone what you and dad did to Snape.” Sirius flinched a bit as he licked his lips and pondered a response.

“That’s the kindness in you, Harry. No, it’s true. You’re not your father. You weren’t raised an only child to two adoring parents who never told you no. Fleamont and Euphemia Potter spoiled James. And I, being haughty and rebellious in my youth, enabled him. You shouldn’t think so harshly of him over a single moment from his childhood. He was… a good man, Harry, at the end of the day.”

“Good men don’t torment those less fortunate than them for simply existing.”

“Do you think I’m a bad man, Harry?” Sirius challenged suddenly and his godson faltered.

“N-No… Sirius, I don’t think that at all…”

“Do you know that I actually apologized to Snape? For everything? For more than you saw in the Pensieve. I told him I was sorry. I do regret the way we treated him…”

“And I feel so much shame that I never stopped it,” Remus confided to Harry softly. “I could have. I had the ability to level James or Sirius if I’d ever wanted to. But I never did. They were my best friends and I owed them loyalty. And also…” Remus measured his next words carefully. “Snape was unkind to me too, Harry. There are things worse than being called a half-blood. And trust me- I’ve heard them all. A lot of them from Snape.”

“Oh…” Harry was quiet for a long time. Then he sighed. “And my mum?... I saw her too… she couldn’t stand him- dad, that is.”

“She grew out of her distaste for him, and James grew out of his… well, his arrogance after a while. He just had to grow up, Harry. Making mistakes and learning how to live with them is a part of life- part of being an adult. We all learned important lessons,” Sirius kept on but Harry didn’t seem to feel much better. He shook his head.

“Nobody knows who they are at fifteen. And nobody grows out of those times without having something under their belt that they’re not proud of,” Remus told him in an even more gentle voice. “Please give your father some grace, Harry. He was young. And stupid. We all were. It doesn’t make any of us bad people. One mistake- or even a handful of them- doesn’t make you wicked. It’s the effort of trying to improve that really reflects who you truly are. Okay?...”

“Yeah, okay…”

Sirius cleared his throat, quite eager to change the subject. “So. How did Sni…”

“Sirius!”

“Severus,” he corrected apologetically. “How did Severus react to you seeing his worst memory?”

“He was pretty pissed,” Harry replied honestly with an odd tone to his voice. “And he refused to keep teaching me Occlumency.”

“He what?!” Sirius and Remus said at the same time. Harry just blinked at them, seeming incredibly indifferent.

“No, Harry, he can’t do that!” Remus protested.

“I’ll head to Hogwarts straight away,” Sirius growled and moved as if to stand but Remus snagged his arm and held him forcefully in place.

“No, you won’t!” he hissed in his lover’s ear. “We’ll send Tonks to reason with him if we have to. She’s the one who’s still employed at the school. But as for now, Harry, listen to us… it is of the gravest importance that Snape continues teaching you, do you hear me? Go to him and beg if you must- but he cannot stop!”

“I can’t!” Harry cried. “I can’t face him like that!”

“You have to try,” Sirius snapped at him. “Harry, please! It’s for your safety!...” Just then, Harry glanced behind his shoulder, disappearing from the fire. His face reappeared and his eyes were wide in alarm.

“I have to go! I’m sorry! I’ll talk to him… bye!” Then he was gone. Remus and Sirius sat back, almost in unison, their spines against the coffee table. Remus slid his fingers into Sirius’ hand and they just stayed that way- watching the crackling flames in silence for a long time. Finally, Lupin smacked his lips together and bumped his shoulder against Sirius’ own.

“The brownie batter was delicious, by the way.”

“Thanks. Glad you like it.” Sirius just stared blankly ahead, his gray eyes filled with storm clouds. “Harry thinks James is a terrible person.”

“He doesn’t really think that.”

“Remus, you heard him.”

“He’ll come down off it,” Remus told him reassuringly. “He has to be upset about it for a while. I’m sure it’s a lot at once. The Order, you and I, and just about everyone else he’s come into contact with- besides Snape and Malfoy- have told him how amazing his old man is. It has to be a shock to the system to find out, well… he isn’t as perfect as everyone has said. He was a rotten teenager. And if I recall, Sirius Black…” Remus nudged him again. “So were you. But still kind, compassionate, and loyal. We’ve talked about this before. People are not just one thing, but a beautiful amalgamation of many contradicting parts. Please, don’t let it consume you, my love…”

“What if Harry thinks I’m a bad man now too?” Sirius whispered in a frightened voice so low that Remus barely heard him. “What if he thinks me cruel and wicked?”

“Harry doesn’t think that. He even told you so.”

“Yeah, but…”

“No more.” Remus placed a finger on Sirius’ lips to quiet him. “Come now, love. You’re his godfather. And he loves you.” He tilted up his beloved’s head and kissed his lips gently. Some of Sirius’ ill-ease melted away instantly from the embrace. Remus’ mouth still tasted of decadent chocolate. The troubled man let his darling kiss away his worries. Lupin trailed his mouth down Sirius’ throat, across his collar bone, and skimmed over his bare chest. He took Sirius’ left nipple between his teeth and the pressure drove the air from his lungs.

“Ah… Moony… m-maybe not here though- in front of the chimney?...”

“It’s warm here though… And this is our home. I’ll make love to you wherever I please,” Remus replied in a dreamy, earthy, lustful voice that Sirius only heard this time of the month. Oh, Moony... So irresponsible of you. So out of character. Sirius couldn't help but chuckle as his stomach filled with butterflies when Remus kissed him again- deeper this time. The taller man straddled his lap and ran his nimble, scarred fingers through Sirius’ inky locks. Remus could sense the storm tumbling inside Sirius’ mind. He could taste the worry on his tongue and feel the troubled beating of his heart. The lycan pushed his lover down on the rug in front of the couch and trailed his mouth again. “Give it to me, Padfoot,” he whispered as he traced his tongue through the thick hair that ran from Sirius’ bellybutton down to his groin. “Let those bad thoughts slip away. Let me take them.”

“M-Moony…” Sirius’ voice was breathy and desperate as Remus pushed his pajama pants down. He moved to brace himself against the coffee table but his hand slipped and he ended up nudging it instead. Much to Sirius’ horror, the bowl with the brownie batter in it tumbled over the edge and spilled all over him. “Shit!” He sat up and reached for his wand but Remus’ hands flashed out and seized his wrists. Sirius saw a playful, feral light in his lover’s eyes as he pulled him closer. He dared him to move with a wry, uncharacteristically bold smile.

“Leave it…” Remus whispered breathlessly as he kissed him again and Sirius felt himself fall into bliss. Remus pushed him on his back again and ran his tongue down his beloved’s body- through the lake of chocolate batter that was pooling on his stomach. Sirius’ breath left his lungs in a rush when Remus didn’t hesitate even a moment before he took him in his mouth- all the way down to the skin.

“Fuck…” Sirius groaned, his cheeks filling with color as he twisted his fingers into Lupin’s hair- his nails scraping his scalp. Every thought of the unpleasant conversation with Harry melted away in the smell of chocolate and the feeling of Remus’ tongue. “Ah…” his eyebrows furrowed and his body littered in goosebumps. Remus was choking on him. He held himself down until he couldn’t hold the pressure anymore before moving his head away. He panted, gulping in desperate mouthfuls of air. Remus lifted his head and found Sirius' gaze- wild hazel eyes meeting stormy gray depths. He winked at him, ran a finger through the batter that was coating Sirius’ happy trail, licked it off, then went back to work. As the room filled with the sweet sounds of the lycan's ravenous efforts, color filled Sirius' face.

“For fuck’s sake… you and y-your chocolate…” Sirius groaned as sweat started to bead his brow. It’s so unlike Moony to be messy. To be sticky. To… be… Sirius’ thoughts derailed when Remus removed his mouth with a satisfying 'pop'. He slid out of the Animagus' fingers and slowly kissed his way back up his body. He tipped his nose against Sirius’ own then brushed their lips. Sirius boiled over and wrapped his arms around Remus- desperately pawing at his shoulders as he hungrily sought his tongue. They kissed deeply as he flipped his lover onto his back, spilling ribbons of brownie batter onto the lycan’s bare chest. Sirius clawed Remus’ pajama pants off, kissed the side of his neck, and pushed eagerly inside of him.

“Ah…” Remus’ nails scraped his shoulders as his eyes lit with pleasure. “P-Padfoot…”

“Hmm?” Sirius raised an eyebrow at him and offered that chilling, spine-tingling, devious smile. Some of the wildness had fled from Remus' eyes and that made what happened next even more satisfying for Sirius. This is all you, sweet boy. None of the wolf. Good. He ran his left hand through the warm, sticky batter that was smeared on the former professor's chest. He again pressed his fingers to his lover’s lips and Remus opened his mouth eagerly for him. Chills raced up Sirius' spine at how easily Remus obeyed for him, so as a reward he shoved himself deep into his throat and instantly saw pleasure-filled tears gloss his eyes. “Filthy pup… just look at you. Full to bursting. Messy and grimy. What will I do with you?” Sirius rotated his hips and saw color flush to the lycan’s face. In response, Remus lapped adoringly at the spaces between his fingers and swallowed down the syrupy chocolate with a hard gulp.

“Can I?” Remus half-asked, half gargled around Sirius’ fingers. He chuckled and pushed back further until Remus gagged from the force. I should tell him no, honestly. Look at him… covered in chocolate with tears in his eyes, brick hard, sucking on my fingers like he needs it to breathe. Pathetic… Remus squirmed desperately underneath him and Sirius could tell from how he was breathing so heavily and shaking that he was only a few more seconds away. Hmm. What to do. What to do.

“Mm… I suppose you’ve been a good boy. Yes, Moony. You can cum.” It was like Sirius removed a brick from a flood wall. Remus’ head dropped back and Sirius pulled his hand away to steady himself. He braced his palm on the floor by the lycan’s head as Remus panted and moaned against him. The former professor rocked himself shamelessly back against Sirius’ thighs until the pressure was too much. Sirius felt the climax rip from him in shockwaves of brilliant color. He removed himself carefully before collapsing to the side- away from the part of the rug that was covered in brownie batter.

“Oh… Merlin, I…” suddenly, it seemed Remus remembered himself. He covered his sticky face with his hands and Sirius beamed from ear to ear, unable to hide his amusement that Remus now seemed so embarrassed. “I made a fucking mess…”

“Yeah, you did. We did, I suppose…” Sirius chuckled as he ran a shaky finger through the unholy mixture of sweat, batter, and arousal that was pooled on Remus’ stomach. He drew a heart around his naval and then stared at his beloved- waiting patiently for him to remove his hands. He didn’t budge. “Honey.”

“Sirius, I’m so sticky…” Remus groaned, finally dropping his hands. He looked nearly ill at all the batter that was coagulating between the webbing of his fingers. “How do I keep ending up coated in fluid like this?”

“Because you’re a filthy, horny little heathen and the wolf in you needs to be bred into submission,” Sirius replied with a genuine smile as he leaned over and kissed Remus’ syrupy cheek. When the lycan just scowled at him, Sirius couldn’t help but laugh. “Okay, okay! I see you’re in no mood to wallow…” he hopped to his feet, a little lightheaded from the session. Sirius was just about to head to the kitchen for a towel when he heard a familiar clicking from down the hall. Someone’s coming!

“Fuck!” Sirius scrambled for his wand and managed to find it wedged between the couch cushions as the door opened then closed. He waved it first at Remus then tapped his own chest. Instantly, the two were cleaned and Remus actually sighed in great relief when he wasn’t coated in chocolate anymore. The lycan picked up the half-empty bowl from the floor and sat it on the coffee table just as Mad-Eye limped into the living room. That mechanical blue eye flittered all about and Sirius offered him a beaming, overly genuine smile as he flicked his wand at the rug and the brownie batter cleared from the fibers.

“Good day, Moody! Could have given us a warning, hm?”

“Well, you were finished before I even made it to the door. Seems it was perfect timing.” Sirius froze and Mad-Eye just crossed his arms- his expression hard and, as usual, quite unreadable. “What you do in the privacy of your own home is none of my business, Black. Though... maybe I’d be a bit more discreet knowing this is headquarters for the Order. What if it had been Molly who’d walked in on you shagging Remus? Or Tonks?”

“Then they'd have one hell of a show." When that didn't seem to amuse Moody at all, Sirius just clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth and rolled his eyes. "Oh, come now, Alastor  …” Sirius offered Remus a hand and he shakily pulled his lover to his feet. The lycan couldn’t even look in Moody’s general direction- his face beet red from embarrassment. “You can't tell me you never fucked a lover on the rug in your living room in a spill of brownie batter?” Remus looked horrified. He sunk down onto the couch and desperately longed to be anywhere but where they were. Could I apparate upstairs without making matters worse?

Moody was just holding Sirius’ gaze evenly. Then, the Animagus did something that could have stopped Remus’ heart. He grabbed a plate of scones he’d made earlier in the day and offered the plate to Mad-Eye. “Biscuit?”

“I don’t think I’ll ever be eating your baked goods again. Thank you.” Moody turned on his heels and began to walk down the corridor, brewing and steaming as he went. Sirius sat the plate back down, scooped up the batter bowl, gave Remus his signature smile, then hurried after him- whistling merrily as he did.

“But there’s muffins on the table! And an apple pie in the ice box. Hey, since we’re going into the kitchen- I’ll just start a new batch of brownies…”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“It wasn’t me! It wasn’t me, I said! Listen to me! God, please! Someone- anyone! Find Dumbledore. Someone send an owl to Albus Dumbledore- he’ll tell you- he will! I’m a member of the Order of the Phoenix! They were my best friends- please! Pettigrew! It was Peter Pettigrew! Someone listen to me!” Sirius fought with all his might. He thrashed, he screamed, he cussed, and he cried. But it was no use. They were dragging him into a cold, windowless cell. They’d taken his wand, his clothes, his rings. He was thrown roughly into the chamber and the door was closed then locked. Nobody spoke to him. Nobody would answer him.

Sirius tried to crawl close to the cell door but there was only darkness for as far as the eye could see. And then he grew cold, as if his veins were made with ice. He felt the Dementor’s presence a moment before it came to his door. Suddenly, he was staring into an ugly, gaping maw that smelled of rancid meat. Then there was nothing. No joy or excitement or love. Just… emptiness. Coldness. Bitterness. Sorrow. He couldn’t remember what James’ face looked like. Or Lily’s. He couldn’t recall a single long-lost summer at the Potters’ house or any games of Quidditch. Then, and only for a moment, he thought of Remus Lupin. Gasping, Sirius slipped from himself into Padfoot and immediately the pulling from his soul ended. He whined and marched as far back into his cell as he could until his canine rump was against the cold, unforgiving stone. Confused and aggravated, the Dementor went on. Padfoot covered his eyes with his paws and wept.

How did I get here? How did I get here?!... James and Lily are dead. Harry is with his aunt and uncle. Peter… the dog’s gut twisted with rage and he snarled. That fucking rat! One day I’ll get out of here. Dumbledore will tell them! He knows I’m good. O-Or Molly… or Moody… Or… Or… Sirius turned into a man again. He stared down at his blank, empty hands. “Remus,” he said out-loud and heard the name echo around the room. Again and again and again. Remus. Where was Remus?... Dumbledore sent him off on another mission… somewhere else, somewhere far away. Dread, horrible, suffocating, all-consuming dread sept into every pore in his body. Remus wouldn’t know. Until he got back from… wherever he was… he wouldn’t know. Not about Lily. Or James. Or Harry. Or Peter… or me. He’ll hear what they’re all saying. They’ll tell him about those poor muggles. About how I killed Peter… he’ll think it was all me. He’ll hate me… He’ll hate me…

“Let me out!” Sirius screamed at last, tears rolling down his face. “It was Peter fucking Pettigrew! I’m innocent! I’m innocent!” Ice began to snake its way across the floor of Sirius’ cell and he started to panic. He shifted from man to dog and watched with Padfoot’s wide, exotic amber eyes as a Dementor floated up to his door. It tried to take some of his happy memories, but could find nothing human to latch onto. Angry and defeated, it soon took off. Once Sirius was sure it had gone, he shifted uneasily back into himself. He curled up in a ball and sobbed.

He’ll hate me, he thought. He’ll hate me.
. . .

Sirius’ eyes flew open and he screamed as he fell. A Dementor had him- he was tangled in its cloak. He couldn’t see its mouth but he knew it was sucking the happy memories out of him. He screamed again and thrashed wildly as its bony hands grabbed his shoulders. He desperately tried to transform into Padfoot, but for the first time in his life- it failed him. I’m trapped! I’m trapped and it’s going to kill me!...

“Sirius, I’m here!” Remus screamed as his beloved let out another cry. He finally managed to wrangle the sheet off of him and then he froze. Sirius looked absolutely horrified. His eyes were wide, his face pale, and he was shaking so violently that Remus worried that he was having a proper seizure. When he tried to reach out to him, Sirius gasped and crawled backward away from him until his back was against the dresser. “Sirius?...”

“You’re n-not real,” the Animagus whimpered as he covered his face with his hands. “A nasty trick. Bella! Or C-Crouch… or… Carrow…”

“Padfoot, please…” Remus’ heart was breaking. He crawled carefully over to the man he loved and tried again to comfort him. He placed a hand on his shoulder and felt Sirius freeze. “It isn’t a trick. I am Remus John Lupin. You are Sirius Orion Black. We are… very much in love. We are at Twelve Grimmauld Place. You’re not in Azkaban anymore. You are home.”

“R-Remus?...” slowly, almost painfully, Sirius unfolded. He looked very small, very old, and very wary as he took in Remus’ appearance- gaze scanning over him from head to toe. For a moment, it seemed Sirius recovered a bit of himself. But then his eyes darkened again and he turned his head away. He drew his knees up to his chest and laid his head upon them. “No… it’s a trick. Remus would never love me…”

“I do love you. I always have.”

“It’s a dream. I’ll be awake soon… in my cell. All alone.”

“No, honey. You’re home. You’re safe. You just had a nightmare.”

“All I have is nightmares,” Sirius muttered. “Nothing good grows in Azkaban prison.”

“You never have to go back there, my love.” Remus leaned his head against Sirius’ shoulder. He didn’t move away from him this time. He tried to think of things to say that might help him ground his beloved. How do I bring him back to me? “We kissed for the first time out in the forest during a full moon. I kissed you first. You were really scared, I think. But then you came around. We made love in this little clearing surrounded by pine trees. It was really beautiful.” Sirius didn’t move but Remus thought he heard him take a deep breath. “You told me a secret a few weeks back. You told me that you almost kissed me once- when we were in school. It was the day after a full moon and you were in the infirmary with me. And you wanted to kiss me, but I was asleep and you…”

“Wanted you to remember it…” slowly, Sirius turned his head and met Remus’ eyes. His gaze was uncertain and he still seemed like he was waiting for the floor to disappear underneath their feet. He held the lycan’s stare for some time- his eyebrows furrowed in worry over the tears that were pooling on Remus’ lashes. “This is… real?”

“It is. Very.”

“I’m not dreaming?”

“Not anymore.”

“Azkaban…”

“Is an entire lifetime away,” Remus replied as he gently took Sirius’ hand. He kissed his scarred knuckles. Sirius blinked at him thoughtfully as Remus exhaled all the air in his lungs. “You haven’t… had a nightmare like that in a long time. I’ve been trying to wake you for what felt like hours.”

“M’sorry,” Sirius replied softly as he shifted his body and leaned his head on Remus’ shoulder. The next moment, he wrapped himself around his right arm and held him tight. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

“I just worry about you…” Remus brushed his thumb over Sirius’ cheek then tucked a strand of that inky black hair behind his ear. “You okay?”

“I can’t shake it,” Sirius replied, closing his eyes. He shuddered. “I can smell it. The dank… the dark. I can hear Bella laughing maniacally down the hall. I can feel the icy chill from the Dementors… it’s like I’m right there, Moony. My throat burns from screaming. I tried to tell them, Remus. I tried to tell them that I was innocent. That it was Peter…” tears were forming on Sirius’ lashes, spilling over from where his eyelids were tightly pressed together. He wiped them away. “I’m so afraid to open my eyes. Because what if I do and you’re not there and I’m just talking to the wall again?...”

“I’ll be here when you open your eyes,” Remus told him softly. “I promise. You are safe, you are important, you are kind, you are loved. You are safe, you are important, you are kind, you are loved…” Slowly, achingly, Sirius pried his eyelids open. He stared at Remus’ beautiful, scarred face with an uncertain, haunted gray gaze. He cupped the lycan’s cheek gently and brushed his thumb over his lips. “I love you, Sirius Black,” Remus told him gently as he leaned in and let their lips touch. The kiss was a gossamer thing. So soft and tender, like the wisp of the wind.

“I love you, Remus John Lupin…” Sirius kissed him once. A true kiss, a proper one. Then he leaned his forehead against the lycan’s own and closed his eyes. He breathed in Remus’ scent- comforted by the familiar notes of chocolate, old parchment, and a deeply underlying smell of wild, untamed spirit. “Mm… I feel a bit better.”

“Good. Some breakfast then? Might perk you right up. A spot of tea…”

“Coffee,” Sirius corrected as Remus got to his feet and extended his hand. Shakily, Sirius let himself be pulled up. He twined his fingers in Remus’ own and held him with a desperate grip as the former professor guided him across the room. When they stepped out into the hallway, Sirius flinched and looked around as if he was expecting to be striding down a corridor in Azkaban. They kept deathly quiet as they descended the staircase, walked through the living quarters, and rounded into the kitchen. Remus unclasped his fingers from Sirius’ own but found that he really couldn’t get far away from him. As Lupin started up a pan for hotcakes, Sirius hovered in his shadow, his hands resting gingerly on the lycan’s hips.

“It really shook you up, didn’t it?...” Remus asked in a soft voice as Sirius wrapped his arms around him and pressed his face into his lover’s shoulder blades. He nodded slowly.

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be, love. Should I cancel my arrangement to go to the Tonks’ today?”

“What?” Sirius murmured as he slackened his hold a bit on Remus’ waist. “What, where?”

“Oh, you don’t remember?...” When Sirius was quiet, Remus sighed slightly. Well, I hate to have this conversation twice… “Dora asked me to come over today. The Ministry workers under Umbridge are getting annoyed that I’m never at the house when they come to visit. She heard a tip from Kingsley at the office that they’re going to swing by again today. I was going to be there this time so they don’t get suspicious. But I know you’re having a hard time right now and I don’t want to leave you all alone if…”

“It’s important,” Sirius said softly as Remus turned to face him. His gray eyes were troubled and he looked uncomfortable- but he nodded anyway and took Remus’ hands in his own. Sirius kissed him gently and the lycan’s heart ached when he found that his beloved was trembling. “You should go. I’ll be okay for a few hours by myself. I’ve done it for years, haven’t I?”

“Padfoot…” Remus cupped Sirius’ face and forced the former prisoner to look into his eyes. “I’m serious…”

“No, I’m Sirius.”

Remus couldn’t help it. He laughed at the joke and shook his head. It was a one-liner that Sirius had used for as long as he’d known him. I just haven’t heard it in a while. I forgot how funny it is. Remus brushed his thumbs over his darling’s lips and kissed him. Once, twice, then a third time for good measure. On the third kiss, Sirius finally closed his eyes and when he opened them again- he finally seemed to be a bit more of himself. He nodded slightly with a small, nearly familiar twinkle in his eyes.

“I’ll be okay, Moon. I promise.”…It was sometime late in the afternoon when Remus bade Sirius farewell and headed off to the Tonks’ residence. He raised a hand and went to knock on the door, only to find that it was left slightly ajar. He stepped inside and took a long, nervous breath. Andromeda and Teddy’s home was exactly what he expected it to be. Mostly magic with parts of a muggle lifestyle- but filled entirely with a steady heartbeat of familiar warmth. Pictures of Dora were plastered all over the walls. Some of them moved, some didn’t. There was an aroma of something deliciously sweet baking and Remus felt his mouth watering instantly. Sheepishly, he hung his coat and scarf up on a rack by the door then moved deeper into the house- toward the smell of warm pastry.

“Teddy, Andromeda?” He called. His heart pounding, he quickly added, “Dora, dear, I’m home.”

“In the kitchen!” came a man’s steady voice. “Just in time, my boy. Some chaps from the Ministry are here for you.”

Dread sept into every pore on Remus’ body as he walked unsteadily around a corner and turned into a very normal kitchen. Seated at a wooden dining room table were three people: Tonks, a heavyset, handsome blond man, and a very pretty woman with mousy brown hair and dark amber eyes. Standing a few feet away from them were two very unpleasant looking strangers in Ministry official garments. Remus dipped his head but had not a moment more to think before a blur rushed into his arms.

“Future husband!” purred Tonks as she wrapped her arms around his neck. She met his gaze for only a moment, her dark eyes flashing briefly with an unspoken apology, and then pressed her lips to his own. Remus’ heart hammered in his chest as he placed a hand on the back of her neck, closed his eyes, kissed her back, and then gave her a little spin.

“Alright, alright you two! Save some of that for the honeymoon, hm?” It was Andromeda who spoke this time, her signature Black eyes holding little emotion as Remus sat Dora back on the ground. Her hair was a nearly toxic red color as she pulled back from him and smiled softly. She kissed his cheek once more.

“Sorry, mum,” she said absently as she twined her fingers into Remus’ own and began to guide him over to the table. “Darling, how was the job hunt? Any luck?”

“I applied at that little café a few blocks over,” Remus replied as he took his seat beside her. Cautiously, his heart still pounding in his chest, he placed a warm hand on the inside of Dora’s thigh and she clasped her own on his arm. “Figured I could clean tables at least.”

“No magical inquiries then?” asked one of the Ministry members. “Why look for muggle work?”

“It’s hard to find a job as a werewolf,” Remus said simply, raising his eyebrows in amusement as Dora slid him over a cup of tea. He sipped it gingerly. Nothing like what Sirius makes me… “Resources and opportunities are limited. I’m trying to do what I can to support Dora- especially with the wedding and all.” The two Ministry men exchanged brief looks then focused on what was in front of them again.

“Since he was so abruptly dismissed from his last job,” hissed Tonks as the taller of the two Ministry officials slipped a clipboard into a satchel that was resting against his hip. “He’s been struggling quite a bit. Tell me, has Fudge found anyway to help Remus secure work? Or does he just disgrace those with lycanthropy and leave them to fend for themselves?”

“Easy, Nymphadora,” her fathered muttered and the ends of Tonks’ hair turned dark blue. She just silently sat back in her chair as the two strangers nodded to Andromeda and Teddy- but made a deliberate point to ignore both Remus and Dora.

“I think we’ve stayed long enough today. Thank you for the tea.” Then they were gone.

Remus waited until he heard the door click shut to take his hand off of Tonks’ leg. She exhaled all the air in her lungs and collapsed on the table, her head flat on its surface. Remus met Teddy’s eyes, but he couldn’t help but focus on Andromeda. It had been a long time since he’d seen either of them, but it still shocked him a bit just how much she and Sirius favored each other. That damned, beautiful pure blood…

“Well, Remus Lupin, welcome to our home,” she greeted him with a small smile as she lifted her teacup to her lips and drank. “It’s good to see you again. Nymphadora says you’ve been well looked after the last few years. How is my cousin?”

“Going stir crazy inside that house,” Remus replied gently as he politely sipped his bitter tea. “He’s having nightmares again- bad ones. Memories from Azkaban.”

“Oh, the poor love…” Andromeda’s eyebrows furrowed in concern. “Perhaps I’ll pay him a visit soon.”

“I think he’d like that very much.”

“Does he still listen to muggle music?” she asked suddenly and Remus’ eyes softened.

“Not so much these days. Our record player is pretty spent on my instrumentals.”

“Pity. I have a gift for him. Will you see that he gets it?...” she stood and walked over to a desk opposite the table. Andromeda opened its top drawer and pulled out a dusty record case. She extended it to Remus and he took it with delicate hands. “I know he liked rock and heavy metal a lot when he was younger. But he’s a bit older now, I’m sure his taste has matured a bit. I figured he might appreciate some Elton John. Especially… well, you know.” She smiled at Remus softly. “Considering the nature of your relationship.”

“Mom! You can’t just assume a gay man will like something because it’s produced by a gay artist...”

“Technically speaking, Sirius isn’t gay… and Elton John isn’t either.” Remus couldn’t help but smile. He figured he ought to be offended- but Andromeda seemed so sincere, he was actually quite touched. Sirius talks about her so fondly. I think it will really lift his spirits to see that she hasn’t forgotten him. He slid the record out of its jacket and peered thoughtfully at the smooth, black vinyl. A red label held the words ‘THE ROCKET RECORD COMPANY’ with a tagline underneath it that read ‘I Guess That’s Why They Call it the Blues’. He smiled genuinely at Andromeda then put it back into its case. “He’ll love it. Thank you so much.”

“It came out two years after he was sent to Azkaban.” Andromeda looked quite sad now. “I listened to the entire album and cried because I knew he’d love it. I tried to visit him, you know?... never got clearance. They said he was too dangerous…” much to Remus’ surprise, she pulled a cigarette out of thin air, pressed it to her lips, and lit it with just a blink. She drew a deep breath. “Sirius Black- too dangerous. Ha! Mischievous, reckless, and wild; yes. A mass murderer?... No. Never. I knew it was bullshit the second I read the headline.”

Remus’ stomach twisted into knots. He took another sip of his tea and nodded numbly. Despite the constant reassurance he gave to Sirius, Remus had an eternal stream of guilt that ran through his spirit for ever having believed, for even the smallest second, that Sirius was capable of what the Prophet said about him back in 1981. Andromeda knew it was insanity. And yet I was still uncertain…

“But anyway, where are my manners?” Andromeda gave herself a small shake and her voice brought Remus from his unpleasant thoughts. “I know you met when you were younger, but Remus- this is my husband, Ted.”

“The pleasure is all mine.” The lycan reached across the table and the two men shook. Teddy Tonks’ eyes were warm and gentle.

“Well, listen! I know you’ve had a stressful day and I’m sorry to keep you from Sirius, but Dromeda did prepare quite a nice meal in preparation for you. We were worried those grimy Ministry blokes would be here all bloody night. Would you care to stay for dinner? It might be smarter anyway to linger, just in case anyone is still about.”

“I can’t stay too long, but I’d love to have a meal. You can tell me everything you can imagine about my future wife!”…Andromeda talked for some time about Sirius, and Remus felt warm and fuzzy to hear about the man he loved when he was a boy. She even had some pictures for him. Teddy was just as vibrant in his storytelling of Dora and how proud he was of her. In the end, Remus enjoyed his dinner nearly silent as the three of them bantered and swapped eager tales back and forth. One day all of us will do this together. Sirius will be so happy.It was well after dark when Remus finally left for home. He stepped into the threshold of Twelve Grimmauld Place and immediately knew something was wrong. The entire house was deathly quiet and the static-like ambiance told him Sirius was in a heightened state of emotion. He left the record Andromeda gave him (along with a hefty takeaway container of stew and potatoes) on the little table by the door as he bolted up the stairs.“Padfoot?!”He could hear Sirius screaming. There was a sound of something shattering and Remus began taking the steps two at a time. Walburga’s portrait started cursing at him and the other busts and paintings of the Black ancestors followed her lead. He paid none of them any mind as he raced through the corridor toward their bedroom. The door was cracked and Sirius was inside. He was throwing around things like mad, a nearly feral look on his face. Remus’ heart nearly stopped beating when he noticed his beloved’s hands were coated in blood.“Sirius!”“Buckbeak got hurt- I patched him up,” the Animagus said over his shoulder as he wiped the crimson liquid on his pants. “Never mind it now, Remus, we have to go!”“Go?” he echoed. “Go where?”“The Ministry of Magic!” Sirius turned on his feet, his gray eyes wild with worry and rage as he grasped the end of his wand like he was holding a blade. “Harry’s down there!”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Sirius explained everything to Remus in a blur. Kingsley and Moody had stopped by for tea- and to report Hagrid’s dismissal from the school as well as Minerva’s admission to Saint Mungo’s. They were all gathered around the table when Severus’ message came through. It included Harry’s cryptic, urgent statement (“he has Padfoot at the place where it’s hidden!”), Harry’s disappearance from the school, and where Severus believed he’d gone. Kingsley and Moody departed immediately to talk to Tonks- but by that time, Remus had already left for home. They’d barely missed each other.Now, the tension in Twelve Grimmauld Place was strong enough to bring even the bravest of wizards to heel. The catalyst of the energy was upstairs and held between two men who loved each other more than life itself. Remus and Sirius stood in the room they shared together- kept apart by their bed between them. Remus had his wand in his right hand and Sirius held his wand in his left. This was a battle of wills, and either way- there were no winners. They both knew that. Remus had tears in his eyes and Sirius’ face was red with anger and worry.“I won’t stay, Remus.”“It isn’t safe if you go.”“Harry needs me!”“The Order is on their way to him!”“I’m part of the Order too! Or have you forgotten, like everyone else?!” Sirius nearly screamed as tears welled in his eyes. “I don’t give a fuck if it’s safe. Our godson is in the Ministry right now, dealing with fucking Voldemort- and you want me to stay put and sit pretty like a lap dog?! I am a Gryffindor, Remus! I have a lion’s heart and courage in my veins. I have been compliant for long enough. Please, I implore you… do not ask me to sit by and turn my back on this fight. I cannot do it. I will not.”Remus’ heart was hammering in his chest. He knew Sirius had made up his mind. And everyone, including Remus Lupin, knew exactly what it meant when Sirius Black set his heart on something. Briefly, and ever so briefly it was, he really did think about casting a spell. Immobulus. Stupefy. Incarcerous… Half a dozen more of them whirled around inside the former professor’s mind. Sirius must have noticed Remus thinking about this- as he turned his wrist in preparation and gripped his wand harder.“I’ll fight you if I have to, Moony… Please, please don’t let it come to that. I don’t want it to be this way.”The lycan’s heart ached when he realized just how dire the situation was becoming. Here he was, staring into the face of the man he loved. They were geared up for a duel in their bedroom where just the night before, Sirius made love to him and counted each one of his scars and called them by name. How was that then?... And this now? Remus was nearly maddened by the thought of it all. Voldemort. Harry. James. Lily. War. War… No, not here. Not in our house. A single tear rolled down his face as Remus lowered his wand.“We go together then. Padfoot and the Moon.” The former professor placed a knee up on the bed and extended his empty hand to his lover. He held Sirius’ gaze with a beast-like force that was burned right back at him.“Padfoot and the Moon,” Sirius agreed as he exhaled all the air in his lungs. Tears fell from his dark lashes as he reached out and took Remus’ hand. “Now, let’s go get our godson back.”…

Sirius and Remus landed soundlessly side by side in a hallway inside the Ministry of Magic. There was no time to think, talk, or feel. Ahead of them, they saw Tonks, Kingsley, and Moody running for a set of doors at the end of the corridor. The two Gryffindors released each other’s hands, gripped their wands steady, and followed. The five of them burst into an eerie room with an even more unsettling arch at its center. The Animagus surveyed the area and felt a deep dread start to settle into his skin. There were ten Death Eaters- all encroached around two smaller forms. Sirius nearly blacked out from anger when he immediately sensed Harry and he marched straight up to a familiar man with long, nearly white hair.“Get your goddamn hands off my godson.” There was a brief moment of surprise that spread across Lucius Malfoy’s face before Sirius’ fist made contact with his nose. Then all hell broke loose.“Stupefy!”“Crucio!”“Expelliarmus!”“Harry, get the hell out of here!” Sirius cried as spells went bouncing in all directions. Harry leaped out of the way as Sirius readied his wand and joined the fight, the blood roaring in his ears.Remus was now standing off with Lucius, a beam of pride in his hazel eyes at the blood that was pouring down his face from Sirius’ blow. The former professor blocked a jet of red light and fired back with a spell so strong that it knocked Malfoy halfway across the room and fried the ends of his platinum hair. Just then, a horrible scream echoed and both Remus and Sirius turned in time to see Tonks go tumbling down the concrete steps. She landed with a thud on the hard floor, her eyes open and body still. Fear gripped Sirius until he felt he couldn’t breathe when he heard Bellatrix laugh in victory as she leapt back into the chaos of the fight.“Dora? Dora!” He bolted over to his cousin and instantly felt relief wash into his veins. She’s alive!“Oh my precious, lovely cousin. Did I frighten you?” Bellatrix cackled in her mocking, child-like voice from somewhere through the haze of smoke, mayhem, and spell light. “Thought I’d killed her?”“Bella…” Sirius snarled as he narrowly avoided a stunning spell from a still-masked Death Eater. He threw back a charm and watched the hooded figure crumple to the floor, bound in ghostly-looking chains. He made eye contact with his cousin and saw a twisted, crazed smile on her face. You bitch. This is my fight now. Sirius pushed to his feet and gripped his wand desperately.“Padfoot, no!” Remus called, but the distraction of Sirius cost him dearly. He got hit square in the chest with ‘stupefy’ from somewhere and was sent reeling across the concrete. He landed only a few feet away from Harry, crashing so hard on his back that it drove all the breath from his lungs.“Remus!” Harry cried, trying to check on him with Neville still slumped across his shoulders.“I’m f-fine…” coughed Remus as he rocked onto his knees. “Just take N-Neville and go!” his vision was swimming, but he was trying desperately to pick out Sirius in the crowd. Oh my God, where is he?!“I dropped it,” Harry hissed to his godfather and it instantly snagged his attention- the lycan’s eyes wide. “Remus, the prophecy, it’s gone…”“Dumbledore! It’s Dumbledore!” Neville suddenly cried and all eyes lifted upward. Sure enough, the white-haired wizard had appeared in one of the doorways with rage creasing the lines on his face. He was holding his wand high in the air, mouth set in concentration. All of the Death Eaters began to panic and some of them tried to scatter or even apparate- but to no avail. As Albus descended the stairs, Voldemort’s followers were picked off by the remaining Order members and corralled to one corner of the room… all but one.On the platform in front of the eerie arch, Sirius and Bellatrix were locked in a duel. Cold rage dyed the Gryffindor’s irises a nearly animalistic shade of brown and Bella was smiling madly with her crooked, yellowed teeth. She narrowly managed to sidestep a beam of orange light and lost her balance, nearly tumbling through the veil. As she teetered on her ragged black heels, Sirius laughed at her and readied his wand again.“Stupefy!” he snapped and she was knocked off her feet. “That was for Frank and Alice!” he told her in a deadly voice as she toppled off the dais and was sent spilling onto the concrete floor. He raised his wand again and Bellatrix looked up at him with a nearly pitiful expression on her once beautiful face.“Don’t kill me!” she cried as tears welled in her eyes. “Oh, please, Sirius! Mercy! Mercy!”“I’m not like you,” Sirius hissed as a glimmer of that usual playfulness crossed his face once more. “But honestly… Come now, dearest cousin- this is almost too easy. Is that really all you’ve got, Bella!?”Remus saw it a second before it happened. The witch curled her grimy fingers around her wand. His stomach dropped. He couldn’t move. No, oh my God, no, no, no, no, NO! “Sirius!” he screamed just as Bellatrix leapt back on her feet. She spun on her heels and flicked her wand- those Black family eyes as dark as coal as the words left her lips.“Avada Kedavra!”The entire world screeched to a stop. The spell was cast. A jet of green light hit Sirius square in the chest- above his heart. That mischievous smile didn’t have time to leave his face. He didn’t even fall. The veil took him instead. The wand slid from his fingers, rolled from his grasp, and fell from the platform as Sirius disappeared. It rolled across the concrete and stopped just an inch before Remus’ feet. There was no time to think. To act. To cry.  Remus rushed forward and locked his arms around Harry as he screamed.“Sirius!” the boy cried as tears streamed down his face. He tried to wretch free from his godfather’s grasp but Remus held him tighter. “He needs help! Why is nobody helping him?!”“Harry, there’s nothing we can do…” Remus’ voice didn’t belong to him. It was distant. Cold. Void. “Harry…”“No!” Harry’s green eyes were filled with rage and grief. He heard Bellatrix squeal in victory as she went racing from the room. Harry jammed his elbow backward and caught Remus square in the ribs. The lycan gasped in pain and released his hold on his godson.“No, Harry! Don’t! Wait!” Remus cried as he went to follow the Gryffindor who was racing after the witch who’d killed his godfather. But then the lycan’s foot nudged something on the ground. He looked down and saw Sirius’ wand. And then… it was like the entire world broke. Color, sound, and agony returned to him in a hurricane of unbearable emotions. He collapsed to his knees and collected the remnant of the man he loved. Remus stared up at the archway and felt something horrible stir inside of him. He sobbed. And broke. And lamented. He was sure someone was screaming. Then… he realized it was him.
He’s gone.

He’s dead.

He’s gone.
. . . Sirius opened his eyes and immediately blinked at the harsh rays of sun that were beaming down at him through the drawn back curtains in the Gryffindor Common Room. He groaned and covered his face with his arm. He was faintly aware of the smell of something sweet and the sound of a fire crackling in the hearth. That and someone- well, at least two someones- were whispering.“Can you kindly fuck off?” he grumbled. “I’m trying to sleep here.”“Need all the beauty sleep you can get, Black?” The familiar voice sent chills up Sirius’ spine. He bolted upright instantly and came face to face… with James Potter. Joy filled him so completely that he thought he might burst as he leapt off the couch and tackled his best friend into the red wingchair he always sat in. James laughed at him and patted his shoulder as a pillow smacked Sirius across the back of his head.“Oi, I don’t get any love?!”“Lily!” he cried as he released James and hugged the spirited redhead with all his might. He buried his face in her crimson locks and inhaled deeply. Oh, she still smells like milk and that berry perfume…“What are you two doing here?!” he laughed as he sat cross-legged on the couch in front of them. He had stars in his eyes as he shook his head in disbelief. “Oh, Merlin, it’s so good to see you both. Wow, you look exactly like I remember. You haven’t aged a day.”“Well, that’s one of the perks of it, I guess,” James chuckled as he sipped a cup of tea. “You, my friend, look a bit worse for wear. Well… not so much now, I suppose. But before. Not even forty and with enough gray in your hair to make Lucius Malfoy jealous.”“Yeah, well that’s what happens when you’ve spent twelve years in Azk…” Sirius froze. This wasn’t right. This isn’t right. He looked down at his hands, noticing the age lines in his skin, the tattoos he’d gotten in prison, the scars on his knuckles. He touched his face and felt much more stubble than he had at twenty-one. His hair was coarse. He felt… rougher. He lifted his gaze to meet James and Lily’s eyes and found that they were both smiling at him in that soft, sad kind of way. Like they have bad news and I don’t know it yet. Only, I do know it. I know…“I’m… dead, aren’t I?” he asked gently and Lily flicked her gaze to James then looked back at him again. “Oh… Oh… I… I’m so sorry…” Sirius shook his head, tears forming in his eyes. “I’ve done a horrible job as a godfather. You both trusted me and I… I wasn’t there for Harry the way I should have been. I didn’t do enough. I didn’t listen. I was so trapped in my own mind, I…” Ah. The tears rolled down his face. “But Lily, James… Harry is such a wonderful boy. He’s so smart and funny and he has such a kind heart. You’d be so proud of him.”“We are proud of him,” James told his best friend lightly as he placed a hand on Sirius’ knee.“And he has such amazing friends! Ron and Hermione and Luna and Neville... Oh, and Ginny! They’re the most loyal crew that you could ever want for your child. He’ll be well taken care of, I promise. Molly and Arthur will see to that. And, of course, there’s Remus…” Sirius stopped. His heart dropped. The color fled from his face. Sirius leaned back on the couch and had to place his hands behind him- palms on the cushions- just to hold himself steady. He stared forward at his best friend but couldn’t meet his gaze. But when he looked at Lily, the pain in her face nearly broke his heart. He began to sob and he collapsed backward onto the sofa, covering his mouth with his hands.“Remus…” he repeated, hardly able to stand the aching in his chest. “Oh my God, Remus… oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no. What have I done?... I’ve ruined everything…”“Padfoot?” James murmured but Sirius kept on.“Oh, Prongs…” Sirius forced himself to sit up. He met his best friend’s gaze shakily then looked down at his hands as more tears fell. “I love him. My God, I love him so much. I told him. Did you know that? And he loves me too… and we built this little life together, him and I. And Harry.”“That’s wonderful, Padfoot…”“We were going to go house hunting. We meant to last summer, but Albus told us to leave Harry alone… as much as we could. And now?...” Sirius had to take in a deep breath to keep from breaking out in hysteric sobbing again. “This isn’t how it was supposed to be! We were supposed to be a family! Remus tried to warn me- he tried to tell me all along. He’s always told me that I let my emotions get the better of me. And now, just look at the mess I’ve made. I… I got myself killed. And he’s going to be alone now… at least Harry has someone. He has so many people to look out for him. But Remus? God, Remus…”“Padfoot, can we talk for a second?...”“He has every right to hate me this time. This time, it was on me. My own blood is on my hands… our life, our dreams, what we wanted to build together- that’s all on me. I did this…”“Sirius,” Lily interjected softly. “James and I have something we need to tell you…”Sirius wiped away the snot that was running down his face. “Maybe… maybe in some cruel, fucked up twist of fate- he’ll end up with Tonks anyway. I mean, honestly, I feel like she’s still mad for him. Who wouldn’t be? He’s so damned beautiful… so kind, so smart, so honest… anybody would be lucky to have him…” his voice cracked. “And I took advantage of that. I didn’t appreciate the blessing that is Remus Lupin… and now I’ll never…” he dropped his face into his readied hands. He started to cry again.For a long time, Sirius was quiet. He just sat there, his eyes closed, sobbing into his palms. Eventually, Lily took a seat beside him and wrapped her arms around him. Her hair blanketed his shoulders and smelled so sweetly that it brought him comfort. James kept that hand on his knee- warm, steady, and strong. After what felt like hours, Sirius opened his eyes. He lifted his head and found his best friend was just staring kindly at him- hazel eyes soft.“So… can we talk now?”“I don’t need to talk anymore,” Sirius replied in a shaky voice. “I guess I’m ready to go then. To… go on?”“On?” Lily murmured and Sirius sighed.“To… whatever comes next. You know… uhm… on?”“Sirius,” James said with a touch of laughter in his eyes. He shook his head and ran a hand through that inky black hair. “You really are shit at listening, you know that? I guess it’s true what they say. Old dogs can’t learn new tricks.”“What are you going on about?” Sirius snapped, not in the mood (for once) for James’ teasing. Lily just squeezed him a little harder. He turned to her and saw something so soft in her green eyes that it instantly calmed the anger in him. He looked from James to Lily then back again. She touched his cheek.“Close your eyes, Sirius. And we’ll show you.”He obeyed. Sirius felt James squeeze his knee and Lily pressed her head into the nook between his shoulder and neck. And then? And then… and then… It was like falling into a Pensieve. But not falling. No, no, no… floating. Drifting. Winding. Suddenly, the three of them were somewhere else in the castle. It looked different somehow- far more familiar and real than the common room had just been. They were in Dumbledore’s office, watching an interaction between Severus, Albus, and… Sirius’ heart lurched. Remus.
{“… I want your help, Albus. I need some way to protect Sirius,” Remus said nervously to the headmaster, wringing his hands in an anxious way as the old wizard looked down through his glasses at him.

“Sirius already has my protection. You know this.”}
“What is this?” Sirius whispered but Lily just shook her head and motioned for him to keep watching.
{“It’s not enough, I fear. From the outside world… yes, it may be. But Sirius is impulsive and reckless at the best of times. And this… the state of everything right now... qualifies for far less than the best of times. He’s worrying himself sick about Harry. He wants to be in his sight at all times and I’ve never seen him take to whisky like he has since the end of the tournament. He’s nervous, restless, and angry… all the time. He's having nightmares again about Azkaban and he hardly eats unless I force him. I fear for his safety. Harry’s life is paramount- and I know that… but Sirius is important to me too, Albus. I need… something, somehow, someway… to help keep Sirius safe from himself.”}
By now, Sirius’ heart was pounding in his chest. He found himself involuntarily stepping deeper into the office, coming closer to the men who were speaking. He watched the desperation spread across Remus’ face- tears in his eyes as the conversation continued.
{“This is impossible. Remus, I cannot take away a man’s free will.”

“But you can protect him? Somehow? There has to be something. Something to save him if his impulses get the better of him. Anything?”

“If Black wants to destroy himself, then there is little that anyone can do to stop that. It's something that he will do on his terms in his own way.”}
 When Severus cut in coldly, Sirius growled and had to fight back to the urge to give him both of his middle fingers.

{“I fear there’s virtually nothing you can do to keep a man like him from doing as he pleases.”"Albus…” Remus seemed incredibly distressed now and his voice was small, urgent, and nearly child-like."Remus, I’m sorry, but there’s nothing I can do…”}

Then Remus did something that actually took Sirius’ breath away. He rushed forward and grabbed Dumbledore’s arm- freezing the older wizard in his tracks.
{“Sirius and Harry are all that matters to me in this world! I have lost everything- everything- I have ever loved. I have no friends, Albus. James is dead, Lily is dead. My mother passed away years ago, and my father hardly speaks to me. I’ve lost connection with every bond I’ve ever had. Nobody wants to associate with a werewolf... with someone like me. But it never mattered to Sirius. Never to Sirius. He isn’t the cruel monster he is perceived to be.” He shot Severus an acidic glance then looked back at Dumbledore again. “He is kind and funny and smart. He never got a chance to even try to live a life of his own. He can be good. He is good. My life means nothing without him. I… I am nothing without him. Please, Albus… please help me keep him safe. I'll do anything to protect him... anything...” On the last word, Lupin's voice cracked and he released his hold on the headmaster. He slid to his knees, dropped his face into his readied hands, and cried.}
Sirius too collapsed to his knees, weak with the effort of understanding. How had he earned someone’s love this deeply? Why did he never tell me about this?... When did he do this?... He looked to James and Lily for answers, but they were still in their same spot in the corner- watching the interactions unfold with warm, tender eyes.{“You love him,” Snape said at last in a matter-of-fact voice that didn’t quite seem to belong to him.}

Sirius watched an exchange happen between the two professors- a kind of silent understanding. Then, Remus lifted his head and held the Slytherin’s gaze.
{"With all my heart.”}
What happened next seemed to be nearly a blur to Sirius. And it still shocked him to his core. Remus requested that the headmaster of Hogwarts- Albus Fucking Dumbledore- make the Unbreakable Vow. And what was more stunning… he agreed. Remus’ trembling voice rang in his ears. (I’m not asking you to do the impossible. I know that you can't. I'm just asking that… you do the best you can. For as long as you can. Please, Albus, help me give Sirius his best chance... Will you, Albus Dumbledore, do everything in your power to protect Sirius Black? And will you do everything you possibly can to help him be free again?)Once the bond was created and the vow complete, the scene shifted a bit. Sirius had tears in his eyes when Remus was gone from the room and that left Severus and Albus alone. The headmaster looked up at his teacher with kind, but expectant blue eyes. He offered him a lemon candy but Snape did not take one.{“I suppose you’ll want me to help you come up with some way to fulfill this ridiculous promise?”
“Most certainly,” Dumbledore replied as he bridged his fingers in thought. “A very difficult request.”

“It’s impossible. What Lupin has asked of you is nearly suicide, headmaster.”

“Not entirely. You see, as Remus is not a fool… he worded his vow very wisely. That I will do the most I can. The best I can. With what I can. Quite clever, if I do say so myself.”

“… I’m not following.”

“An odd thing, love,” Dumbledore said suddenly, all at once sounding very tired. “It can do such great harm… and wonder. Lily Potter’s love for her son spared his life from the most violent and powerful wizard alive. And now, once again, love has come requesting protection.”

“Sir?”
“I have far too many things,” Albus added on as he reached inside a drawer on the left side of his desk.}

He pulled out something and it made Sirius’ heart pound in his chest. It was a silver pendant in the shape of a crescent moon.

{He slid his gaze over to Severus thoughtfully. “This is something quite special to me. A family heirloom. It was my mother’s… and then belonged to my sister, Ariana. I found it in her room after… she passed.” Something sad entered Dumbledore’s eyes for only a moment. Then he blinked and it was gone. He handed the necklace to the Potions Master. “A powerful thing, love… an incredible vow to make.”
“This is what you want for me to use as a conduit for the protection enchantments?’ Snape touched the fine silver gently and Dumbledore nodded.

“It is.”

“Why does it have to be me? I have no mirth in my soul for Sirius Black.”

“That, Severus, is exactly why it must be you,” the headmaster replied with a small smile. “It will all make sense when it is needed. Trust me.” He tilted his head toward his teacher. “Can you do this for me?” In reply, Snape only nodded once. He held the pendant close, turned on his heels, and quickly left Dumbledore’s quarters.}
Immediately, the world around them shifted and they were now in Snape’s office. He had the pendant laying on his desk and was pointing his wand at it with a cold, nearly void look in his beady eyes.
“Protego Horribilis, Protego Maxima, Protego Totalum, Repello Inimicum, Fianto Duri,
Salvio Hexia…” Severus paused as a cloud of smoky white light came from the end of his wand and started to encase the necklace. He sighed and shook his head. “Protego Sirius… Protego Amorio…
Protego Horribilis, Protego Maxima, Protego Totalum, Repello Inimicum, Fianto Duri, Salvio Hexia…”}
Then they were all falling. Drifting. Floating. Wheeling… and were back in the Gryffindor Common Room. Sirius gasped for breath and grabbed a pillow, holding it close to his chest as Lily and James again took their original places- James sitting in the wingchair with Lily on the couch beside him. It took him a few minutes to figure out what he wanted to say. “Those two spells in the middle… they don’t exist…”“No, not technically,” Lily replied gently as she brushed back a piece of Sirius’ hair and tucked it behind his ear. “Severus made them for you, in a sense.”“Why would he do that?” She smiled at him softly.“The pendant was a gift… from Dumbledore’s mother to her daughter. That was one thread of love. Another was created when Albus took it as a keepsake from his sister. A third thread was made when Remus went to Dumbledore about protecting you. A fourth when you went to him about protecting Remus… those two happened in the same day.”“A fifth is unspoken,” James added quietly. “Snape’s love for Lily… is why he’s helping Dumbledore at all. It’s that- that raw, silent, dedicated love… so selfless, strong, and undying that sealed the protective enchantments. They are strong enough now to withstand anything. So long as you were wearing the pendant. And only once.”“The… necklace?” Sirius looked as if he might be ill. “I thought it was for Remus… but this entire time, it’s been for me? Keeping me safe? Protecting me? All because I… love Remus?”“And he loves you,” James agreed gently. “And Albus loved Ariana. And Kendra loved her. And Snape… loves Lily.”“So… what does all of that mean?”“It means, Padfoot,” James said with a soft smile. “You’re not done yet. Not… gone. Just… in-between. In the veil.”“I’m not dead?”“No, not yet. Not unless you want to stay.”For just a moment, Sirius thought about it. But then… he shook his head. “No, not yet.”“I knew you’d say that,” James chuckled halfheartedly. “But if that’s the case- then it’s time for you to go. A living soul can’t stay here for long.”“But I fell through the arch?”“We’ll take care of that part. The hard bit is over, Sirius. You just have to trust us now.” Lily kissed his cheek. “Are you ready? To go back to Remus and Harry and Tonks?”“I… I am…” Sirius stood up slowly, watching the two with wide, watery eyes. He hugged them both. “I… miss you. So much.”“We miss you too,” they said at once. James had tears in his eyes and Lily’s were already rolling down her face. She kissed him again- this time on the lips.“Take care of our boy, will you?”“I promise.”“Look after yourself?” James scolded and Sirius chuckled.“I’ll try.”“Enjoy your life with Remus.”He smiled softly and tears brimmed his eyes.“I will.”“Alright then.” James beamed at him and placed a hand on his chest. “See you later, Padfoot.”“See you later, Prongs.” James gave him a push and Sirius fell backward onto the floor. No, not the floor. Nothing. And he wasn’t falling. He was… floating. Drifting… tumbling. Distantly, he thought he heard Lily whisper something to him. It was so soft he barely heard it. And Severus, Sirius… tell him I understand. Tell him… And then there was nothing and Sirius just kept falling. No.
Floating.

No!

Climbing.

…

Remus wasn’t sure how long he sat by the arch, listening to the ghostly whispers of those who’d passed through it. At some point, Ministry workers came for the Death Eaters. Some took Tonks away to Saint Mungo’s. Harry and the children were whisked away. It felt like hours, or years- he didn’t care to really think about it- when Albus Dumbledore approached him.“Remus…”“The Unbreakable Vow,” the former professor said harshly as he lifted his head, finally tearing his gaze away from Sirius’ wand where it was cradled in his lap. “You made the Unbreakable Vow. And it wasn’t enough. Now Sirius is dead.”“Remus…”“Why did you ask me to come back to Hogwarts?” Lupin sounded so bitter that he nearly didn’t recognize himself. He tried to find Dumbledore’s gaze- but the old wizard wasn’t meeting his eyes. He was looking past him, almost through him. “To teach? The same year Sirius got out?... You knew he’d find me, surely. You knew, I feel like you must have known… that I loved him. That he loved me. And the fucking Order of the Phoenix… interrupting our soft little life. I’m so sick… of being brave, Dumbledore… I don’t want to do it anymore. I’m out. Keep me away from this war. It’s cost me enough. It's cost me everything.”“Remus, please…”“You told me you’d try to clear his name, that you’d help free him!”“I will clear his name. I’m going to talk to the minister right now. And after I’ve finished there, I’ll go to Harry and…”“Go to Harry now. I’ll go talk to the bloody minister of magic. Idiot. Minister of… bullshit…” Remus didn’t have the energy for a proper insult. Tears stung his already aching eyes and he looked down at Sirius’ wand again. He’d laid it against his own and the two fit perfectly together. Like they were made for each-other… no, oh no, no, no, no, no…

“Fuck…” Remus sobbed as he clutched the two rods of wood against his forehead. His tears made them slick and he had to hold them with desperate force not to drop them. “Fuck!” he screamed. “Fuck you, Albus Dumbledore! Fuck you, fuck Voldemort, and fuck that damned Sirius Black for making me love him!”“… Well that’s not very nice, Moony. Do you know what I just went through to get back here to you?”Remus felt like he’d been kicked in the chest. All the color drained from his face. There’s no way I heard what I think I did… there’s no way… absolutely… no… Remus lifted his head and saw that Albus Dumbledore had gone. But there was definitely someone standing near him. Behind him. The smell of rich cologne and spiced anise burned his nose. Slowly, unsteadily, Remus pushed to his feet. He willed himself with all his might to turn around, but his feet didn’t want to obey him. He felt fingers brush the back of his neck and chills raced up his spine. Finally, he wheeled on his heels and the world stood still again. The wands he was holding slipped from his grasp and clattered to the floor.Standing in front of him, as if he’d just casually stepped out of the veil of Heaven itself… was Sirius Black.