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Chapter 1Winter 28The last snow of the year tumbled softly to the ground outside the blacksmith shop, soon to be swept away by the warmth of the first spring morning. Clint stood at the bathroom sink, meticulously starting the last step of his new skincare routine.The Feast of the Winter Star had been hard on him that year. It was difficult every year, seeing the happy families and wishing he had someone to celebrate with. He was always welcome at the celebrations, of course, but feeling wanted was another matter entirely.Since he had moved to the valley as a teenager to apprentice under the old smithy, it never felt like he integrated well. He was a part of the identity of Pelican Town, part of the woodwork and the soil at this point, but social connections weren't his strong suit.This year, he told himself, would be so different. After the holiday, he had come home and gotten on the internet, looking up everything he could find about how a man could transform himself. He found all sorts of advice, some of which had felt really creepy, but he cherry picked a few things he felt like he could do. He could take care of his skin, his hair, his shoes. He could practice pickup lines from YouTube videos, learn to be more charming.He spent his whole life honing steel and iron, now it was time to hone himself.His ultimate goal: at the next Feast of the Winter Star, he would be arm in arm with his love. Emily, the stunning, free-spirited woman who tended bar at the Stardrop Saloon had been enchanting him for years, but he had never made an earnest move. Sure, he had given her gifts and made not an insignificant amount of nervous small talk, but his few half hearted attempts to get her to hang out with him had been met by a definite friendzone being put up. This year he would escape the friendzone, and maybe even head into the marriage zone.As he sculpted his beard carefully according to a diagram from Reddit, carefully researched to make sure it would fit his face and hair texture, he visualized himself hand in hand with Emily at the Flower Dance, where he would twirl her around and make her fall in love with him. He was putting in so much effort, surely she would have to fall for him.When he tucked himself into bed half an hour later, Clint knew that this year was going to be different. He felt the thrill of it in his stomach every time he thought about it, and he fell asleep ready for dreams of his future.Spring 7“Gah-lee,” Leah chuckled, sipping on a pint of beer, “guy is really working hard over there isn’t he?”“It makes me depressed to watch,” Elliott replied, nursing his glass of red wine and trying to focus on anyone in the assembled bunch of villagers except from Clint, who was unsuccessfully trying to chat up Emily as she worked.It was Mayor Lewis’s birthday, and as per usual there was a party at the Saloon. Almost everyone was gathered to celebrate, even Penny, who usually avoided the Saloon like the plague. With all the festivities, Emily was a lot busier than a normal night, making drink orders and ensuring everyone was well fed. She was always kind to everyone, including Clint, but today he was trying to monopolize her time, and he couldn’t have picked a worse day to do it.“Guy gets a bunch of new clothes and suddenly he thinks he’s a new person,” Leah said.“You know as well as anyone that everyone deserves a chance at a fresh start,” Elliott said, looking at his friend meaningfully, “besides, he’s cleaned up his whole look, not just the clothes, and he’s done a good job.”“Good job or not, he needs to stop acting like he’s suddenly Yoba’s gift to women, especially when he doesn’t have the game to back it up,” she replied.Elliott shrugged, going back to his observations of Clint and Emily. “It’s probably good that she’s so busy that she kind of has to ignore him, it sounds like he’s reading directly out of a book titled ‘How to Pick up Chicks’”.Leah snorted and took another sip of beer.“Why are you drinking that, anyway?” Elliott asked, “You never drink beer.”Leah blushed and took another drink.“Did Riley give it to you?”Her blush deepened.“Just because the cute farmer gives you something doesn’t mean anything, don’t get your hopes up,” he said, shaking his glass in her direction, “If that farmer boy was trying to send messages of love to everyone he gave gifts to, he would have the entire village as a harem by now.”“I know,” she sighed, “I know, I just… I don’t know. I think I really like him. The other day he helped me pick some apples and our hands touched and it was, like, massive sparks. It’s embarrassing to talk about, but I think there might be something there.”“The same guy used to bring me pomegranates and duck feathers twice a week,” Elliott said, “I almost dedicated Camellia Station to him, but he stopped coming to visit a while after that first reading at the library.”“Please do not relive that experience on my behalf,” Leah said, “I’ve never seen you cry so much.”“You wouldn’t have been able to stand me in college.”“From what you’ve told me? Absolutely accurate.”At that moment, Gus stepped out of the kitchen holding a large cake adorned with a stunning number of candles. “Alright everyone, HAAAAAA…”The villagers picked up the birthday song on the second syllable and sang Lewis into his next year of life.When the plates and glasses were cleared and most everyone had gone home for the night, Clint sat at his usual table near the bar. Aside from him, only Pam, Gus, and Emily remained.Clint had tried all night to do something to get Emily’s attention, but she had been ignoring him to focus on everyone else. He was frustrated with her. After a week of hanging out and trying to get her to notice his new look without him having to say anything, he had been left high and dry. Tonight he had been determined to get the reaction he wanted, but it was after midnight and the girl of his dreams still hadn’t come to talk to him.He took a deep breath. There was still time in the night to make this happen. He could do it.It took a bit with all the activity of cleaning up, but Clint finally caught Emily’s eye while she was wiping the bar down. His heart skipped. This was his chance.“You sure know how to be a great party hostess,” Clint said, trying to project his voice and raising an eyebrow in his best attempt at the smolder he had been practicing in the mirror, “I just wish you would have given a little more attention to your favorite customer tonight.”Emily smiled brightly without breaking her focus on cleaning. “All my customers are my favorite, and tonight was a lot of work,” her voice sounded strained.‘She must be exhausted,’ Clint thought, and stood. “Is there anything I can do to help?”“You can push in your chair and head out for the night, then at least I would know there were no more glasses to clean.”“I-” Clint started, trying to remember the next line he had prepared, but had been thrown off by Emily’s bluntness.“Clint, buddy, do me a favor and walk me home?” Pam called from the other side of the bar, “I had a little more than usual tonight and I know Penny hates to see me stumbling in.” She wasn’t wrong. Clint habitually tried to estimate the overall alcohol Pam drank each night at the saloon, but tonight he had lost track. To be fair, he had been focused on his task of wooing Emily, and there had been more commotion than usual, but as Pam stood he could see that she was wobbly, and it took a lot for the seasoned alcoholic to hit that point.Trying not to look resentful, Clint moved to Pam and took hold of her upper arm, steadying her. She patted his hand and pointed to the door. “Forward, ho!” she announced, chuckling to herself.“Thank you, Clint,” Emily said to him as they headed toward the door, “I really do appreciate it.”Clint looked back at her. She had a tired but genuine smile on her beautiful face, her blue hair pulled back into a short ponytail with wisps sticking out at all angles. Heavens above, she was gorgeous. And she appreciated him. Maybe tonight wasn’t a total loss. Summoning his courage, he decided he had to say something that she would remember.“Anything for you, sexy,” he said, winking. His adrenaline spiked as the words came out of his mouth, and he turned away before he could see her reaction, following Pam through the door and out into the cool night air. As the door slammed behind them and he oriented the two of them towards Pam’s trailer, he felt like he could hardly breathe. Had he really just said that? He was so bold, so suave. Surely his confidence would shine through and win Emily over.Pam giggled for most of the short walk to her home. She wasn’t usually a giggly drunk- Clint had enough experience with her to know. When they reached the trailer, Clint helped her fish her keys out of her purse and get the correct key into the door.“You know what, to hell with it,” Pam said suddenly, and grabbed the sides of Clint’s face. He stood frozen for a second as he processed what was happening, watching Pam’s face, mainly her lips, quickly approaching his own.Thankfully, he reacted quickly enough to turn his face out of the way, and Pam laid a big kiss on the side of his face instead of his lips that she had been aiming for.“I always thought you were a little young for me, but if you’ve got the balls to call me sexy then hey maybe I should give you a chance! Who knows, you might learn a thing or two!” Pam cackled, patting Clint on the side of the face where she kissed him.He was too stunned to speak, thankfully the door of the trailer swung open and stopped him from having to reply.“Mom!” Penny gasped as she stepped outside in a bathrobe, “Please leave poor Clint alone, oh my word.” She looked horrified as she took her mother’s hand and pushed her toward the door, acting as support for Pam to climb the two small, metal steps up and in.“I am so sorry, she must be completely wasted,” Penny blustered, mirroring the horrified look on Clint’s face, “Oh man, she got lipstick all over you, I cannot believe she would just do that.”Clint shook his head, reaching up to rub at where Pam had kissed him with the inside of his wrist, “No, it’s okay. She misheard something I said to Emily, I think, and thought I was saying it to her. She didn’t mean any harm.”“Oh, okay, well, still, I’m sorry about that. I’ll talk to her tomorrow morning when she sobers up.”“Oh, don’t worry about it. With how much she drank she probably won’t remember.”Penny’s face crumpled, “yeah, you’re probably right.”Clint realized his mistake. Penny was terribly sensitive about her mom’s habits, but it was the reality of the situation.“What did you say that made her think you wanted to kiss her, if you don’t mind me asking?” Penny questioned, folding her arms across her chest.“Oh, it’s, uh, it’s embarrassing,” Clint replied, staring at his shoes, which were new “going out” sneakers.“You don’t have to-”“Anything for you, sexy,” he said, the words tumbling out all at once,“Oh, uh, what?” Penny said, moving backwards a half step.“What I said to Emily. I said, ‘Anything for you, sexy’. Your mom probably thought I was saying that in reference to helping her home.”“Ohhh,” Penny said, stepping a little bit of the way back towards Clint in revision of her momentary retreat, “Yeah that makes sense I guess.”Clint pursed his lips and nodded, “Yep.”There were not even crickets to break the silence that stood between the two.“Anyway I better go-”“Are you and Emily dating?” Both Clint and Penny spoke at once.“Oh, um, I should let you go-”“No sorry yeah, no, we, uh, we aren’t dating, at least not yet, but like, there’s kind of a thing,”“Oh, yeah, got it, okay,”“Yeah, okay,”“Yep.” Penny finished, nodding.“Anyway, goodnight,” Clint said, backing up and taking off toward home without another look back. As he crossed the bridge he could feel the adrenaline of the moment turning into dread and anxiety creeping into his bones. What an awful, awkward, horrible ten minutes.‘But,” he thought as he crunched up the path to his house, ‘if Emily heard what I said and took it to heart, maybe it’s not all a loss anyway.'
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Spring 13The day of the Egg Festival, Elliott put on one of his favorite suits, pulled his hair back into an elegant but respectful twisted bun, and stepped out the door into the fresh sea breeze. Sand crunched under his oxfords as he made his way to the beach’s edge to take the bridge into town. As always on a day where he needed to be dressed up, he stopped on the bridge and pulled a small brush out of his jacket pocket with which he dusted the sand off his shoes and the hems of his trousers. He may live on the beach, but that was no excuse to go dragging it around everywhere, unless it was one of the days where he felt like pretending to be a romantic castaway type.On those days he wore all linen, with artfully worn-in sandals, and spent an extra long time standing by the ocean so the spray would give beachy waves and texture to his hair before going about his daily tasks. He was proud of this commitment to his aesthetic, and how he changed it day to day depending on his mood and to-do list. Some would call it vanity, he called it dedication.Today was a day to be dressed up and buttoned up. While the town celebrated the secular part of holidays exclusively to be inclusive of everyone’s religious preferences, Elliott was raised in the Church of Yoba, and while he wasn’t a regular attendee of services, he still had great respect for the associated deities and their holy days. This was not a day to let your hair loose, though he knew not everyone felt that way, and that was entirely fine.Heading north to the center of town, Elliott could already spot many of the brightly colored eggs that were hidden for hunting. The vivid spots in the grass, in window sills, among the leaves of trees, they all made him smile. When he was a kid, he hadn’t believed in the Egg Bunny who came to hide the eggs, but he had imagined that the fairies must hide them. One of the things Elliott took the most pride in was his ability to make everything more romantic and lovely than it actually was, and that early example stuck out to him as evidence. In fact, he had written about it in one of his college application essays.The plaza came into view, a decorative blanket carefully staked into the cobblestones giving a lightness to the area. Elliott could already hear Abigail running Sam and Sebastian through their plan for the egg hunt, though it sounded like Sebastian was groaning that he wanted to sit the year out.Elliott greeted the older folks in the town first so he could get the more religious greetings out of the way first.“Evelyn!” he called, trotting up to the sweet old woman and wrapping her in a hug, “Happy Egg Day,” she said, her face still smooshed against his chest.“May he hatch in your heart,” Elliott replied, loosening the hug so she could let go when she was ready.“Oh may he hatch in your heart as well, dear,” she cooed, leaning back and reaching a hand up to pat his face, “It’s so good to hear the young carry on the traditions, it gives me hope they will live on when all us old folks are gone.”“Oh don’t be a downer today, Eve,” George interjected, rolling himself forward a bit in his wheelchair and extending his hand to Elliott to shake, “May he hatch in your heart, son.”Elliott took George’s hand with both of his own and shook it firmly, “May he hatch in your heart, as well.”“All right, now be a pal and roll me over to the table, I’ve been ready for deviled eggs for weeks and I don’t want to get my hands dirty from my wheels,” George said, pointing in the direction of the tables.“Of course,” Elliott obliged, taking over steering of the chair and following Evelyn’s pace to one of the tables draped in seafoam green tablecloths.“Just in time, Mr Mullner,” said Shane as Elliott parked the elderly man right up at the table where Shane was putting down a huge platter of deviled eggs, “I just finished piping in the filling so they are fresh as can be.”“Looks amazing!” Elliott said, grabbing a couple for George’s plate so he didn’t need to reach. Shane beamed in response.“It’s been a great spring for the hens so they’re showing off a little,” he said, obviously bursting with pride.Elliott couldn’t help but grin back at Shane. The Egg Festival was one of the few days a year where Shane reliably seemed like he was really alive. It was amazing to see him whirling around, checking on everyone, fishing for compliments and then glowing when he got them. Shane made the atmosphere infectious. Elliott wondered what he would be like if he was like this all the time, or at least more often.“I cannot believe Abigail won the egg hunt again,” Leah said, elbows propped on the table so she could rest her chin in her hands, “I mean it makes sense that she did because she’s competing against literal children, I just can’t believe she still does it every year.”Elliott and Riley sat at the table with Leah, poking at the last pieces of cake on their plates despite being stuffed.“I tried so hard to win for a couple years,” Riley recalled, “but I felt bad taking eggs from the kids, and I couldn’t win against Abby anyway.”“It was fun to watch you try, though,” Leah said fondly, leaning a little further across the table towards Riley and wiggling her shoulders a little bit, at which Riley blushed just slightly.Elliott looked back and forth between the two of them and sat back in his chair, crossing his arms. “So you two.”Leah and Riley’s smiles dropped suddenly and they both stared at Elliott, Leah blushing to match Riley.“Let’s say there’s a scale of liking a person, a heart scale if you will, where one is being faint acquaintances and ten is ready to get married. Where would you say you guys are on that scale?”“Uhh…” Leah started, looking to Riley for some kind of indication of what to say.Riley tentatively took the lead, “I would say a seee-ven? Eight maybe?”Leah’s hand snapped over her mouth, her eyes massive.“Eight, huh? Sounds like you like her an awful lot,” Elliott said, “is that something you think you would want to get more serious about?”“Elliott!” Leah squeaked, grabbing his shoulder.“No, it’s fine,” Riley said, taking a deep breath, “actually, I appreciate it. You have to break the barrier somehow, and I do really like you, Leah. I think maybe tomorrow I’d like to take you on a date and we can talk it over a little more?”Leah’s second hand also clapped to her mouth, and now it looked like her eyes were about to pop out.“Leah?” Elliott asked, reclining his chair just slightly onto the back two legs, “do you feel like you’re at an eight heart level as well?”The question made Leah put her hands down. She looked nervous, her whole face was bright red, making her freckles stand out, but she was grinning. Riley was just as red, and Elliott could tell he was holding his breath. He made a mental note to put that detail into his next romance novel.“Yeah, I think eight is about right, and I would love to go on a date with you.”Riley breathed out all at once, leaning back and covering his face. “I’ve been so nervous to admit that. I’m so glad you feel the same way!”Elliott smirked, proud of himself. The romance master strikes again. He just hoped that Leah had better luck with Riley than he had. Certainly he would have never said his crush went all the way to an eight out of ten, but Riley had been a great influence on his life, so there was the tiniest pang of something in Elliott’s chest. Maybe not jealousy, maybe not regret, but something. He had felt that particular pang before, but it faded a little every time, so that was okay.He must have told himself over a thousand times in his life that the final outcome of all love, even if it was small love, was grief, and that romantic ideal propelled him through the hard times.As the trio sat in the setting sun, silent as Leah and Riley looked at each other and Elliott looked at them, admiring the new love blossoming, he overheard the sounds of a hushed argument.“-cannot be-LIEVE you told Penny we had a THING.”Elliott sat up straight, the front legs of his chair smacking the cobblestone, thankfully muffled a little by the blanket.“Guys,” he hissed, “listen.”Riley and Leah turned to him in confusion as they all heard Emily’s chastising half-whispers at the next table down.“You being a weirdo to me while I’m at work and then calling me sexy after I make it pretty clear I’m not interested does not a romantic moment make!” She said. Out of the corner of Elliott’s eye, he could see that she was trying to keep her normal gesticulating to a minimum to not draw attention, but her hands were softly hitting the table on every word to emphasize her point. She was talking to someone on the other side of her, which was just outside of Elliott’s peripheral vision, and he didn’t want to be seen looking. Fortunately, he didn’t need to wait long.“Emily, you have to understand that everything I’m doing, I’m doing for you!” Clint said, not nearly matching Emily’s quiet tone, “I’m making myself into a new man, and I need you to know that you’re the reason. I can’t keep pretending that I don’t want to be more than friends.”Leah and Riley’s eyes went wide and the three all made eye contact, holding stock still except for their eyeballs.“You have never pretended that! Or at least you haven’t pretended well! I like you, Clint, you’re a good guy, but I don’t see you that way. I’m happy that you’re becoming more confident, I really am, but I don’t like what it’s doing to your attitude! Beard oil and a skincare routine doesn’t entitle you to a girlfriend.”Elliott sucked his lips in to try not to react. If he wasn’t trying to stay still and quiet he would have been snapping in appreciation.“I’m not entitled, I just think we would be great for each other, I wish you could see!” Clint said, followed by the sound of scraping chairs. Over Riley’s shoulder, Elliott watched Clint stalk away from the plaza, back toward his house.Elliott pretended to have just noticed Clint leaving, and feigned following his path backwards to Emily.“Oh, Emily, hello!” He called to her, waving, “Is Clint all right?”Leah, who was sitting on the side of Elliott that was toward Emily, rolled her eyes. “ “Real smooth,” she mouthed.“I don’t really care about what Clint is feeling right now,” Emily huffed.“I see,” Elliott said, standing with a sweep and flourish of his suit jacket. He jaunted the ten or so feet over to Emily and sat in the open chair next to her, “Are you all right?” He leaned his body toward her and laid his hands open in his lap. He could see Leah over the top of Emily’s head, she was leaning across the table toward Riley again, shaking her head.“I’m just frustrated,” Emily responded, “there’s a rumor going around about me and Clint, and I thought maybe it was Sam or Alex joking, but it turns out Clint was the one who started it.”Elliott nodded along, not wanting to interrupt. He had found that he was an easy person for people to talk to, and he liked doing it. He secretly loved gossip, but he also wanted people to feel comfortable around him.“He told Penny, I guess, that we’re ‘a thing’,” she put air quotes around the phrase, “and it got back to me through Haley. People think we’re like, secretly dating, like Marnie and Lewis all over again, and it drives me nuts because I know he’s been crazy about me forever and now he’s trying to force my hand. I want him to be happy but I’m not the one, I don’t even know him that well because he gets so awkward that we don’t even have normal conversations. I wish he would just start dating someone else and leave me alone!” She slumped with a sense of finality.Elliott took in what Emily said, and his mind started spinning. He wanted to help Emily, which involved helping Clint. After a few moments pause, he reached out his hand to her. “I don’t have any advice, but I can see if I can talk to him if you want?”Emily took the hand in hers and squeezed it. “What on earth are you going to say to him? I don’t want you getting caught up in drama for my sake.”“I’m not sure, but I’ll come up with something. I’ll think on it tonight and chat with him tomorrow. I’ve written some romance novels so I’m sure there’s something in my repertoire that will be convincing.”“Elliott, you’re such an amazing friend,” Emily said, giving him a one-armed hug.“Of course,” he replied.“Well, I better get going,” Emily said, standing, “Gus is expecting some people to show up for some booze now that the festival is over.”“Wouldn’t be Pelican Town without it,” Elliott agreed, standing as well, “Have a good evening.”Emily waved goodbye and headed off to the Saloon, leaving Elliott to head back to where Leah was now sitting alone.“Where’d Riley run off to?” He asked as he took his original seat.“He had to go put his animals in for the night, I guess he got some spell that lets monsters come to his farm at night so he has to lock everything up.”“That man is a character,” he chuckled, “but an eight, huh?”“Oh my word,” Leah said, letting her head thump against the table, “I cannot believe you did that, you are so messy.”“But…” Elliott lead,“But I’m so glad you did!” She said, practically squealing and throwing her arms around him in a hug, “I’m so happy. Are you sure you don’t feel weird about it though since you guys had a thing once?”“I’m going to be honest, I do feel something a little odd, but that’s not an issue. I think you two are really cute together, and you having someone in your life will maybe push me to find someone. Either that or I’m going to be the world’s best looking third wheel.”“Ooooh I would love a double date!” Leah said, laughing, “but okay, you distracted me, but I want to know what you said to Emily!”“Ah, see, it was basically just what we heard, but I told her I would go talk to Clint about the situation and see what I can do.”“You’re a good choice for that job, you always seem to know what to do when it comes to romance, even if it seems really wild. I guess all that reading and writing pays off.”“See, now that’s what I want to talk to you about. Let’s go somewhere we can’t be overheard. How clean is your place?”“Mmmm, probably a three. I was carving indoors yesterday,” Leah said, referencing the cleanliness scale the two used to determine which of their homes, if either, was more acceptable for hanging out.“My place it is.”Elliott’s cabin by the sea was hardly immaculate, he had thrown clothes and hair products all over the place that morning while getting ready, but Leah made herself at home by kicking her now- sandy shoes off at the door and flopping onto a clear section of the bed.“So what are you going to say to Clint that you so badly don’t want people to overhear?” She said, picking at a loose thread on one of the bedsheets.“It’s not a fully formed plan yet,” Elliott said, starting to gather clean clothes off the floor. “partially because if executed the way I’m thinking, I’m going to need the other person involved in a lot of the ideas and logistics.”“What do you need me to do?”“For once, you are not the sidekick in my wild scheme, actually,” he said as he opened the closet and started to hang up some of the gathered clothes.Leah sat up straight, her braid flopping forward. “Oh so I start dating Riley and you’re gonna replace me now?” She half-joked.Elliott paused halfway through putting a pair of suit trousers on a hanger, looking directly into Leah’s eyes with intensity. “Leah. I need you to understand that no romance will ever get in between our friendship. I mean that. You could start dating someone who likes to murder romance authors as a hobby and I would just pretend to write non-fiction books about war or boats or whatever, and I would hope you would afford me the same consideration.”Leah rolled her eyes. “I mean, I don’t know what Riley does in all of his free time.”Elliott shrugged, and went back to hanging the trousers. “Anyway, something Emily said stuck out to me. She told me she wished Clint would just start dating someone and be happy with them. We know that Clint won’t be happy until he’s dating Emily.”Leah nodded along, brow furrowed.“And Emily won’t date Clint because of his personality, because, let’s be honest, he’s so awkward that it’s hard to think of him in that way. They’ve barely had any real conversations in all the years they’ve lived in the same town. He does not know the first thing about romance, much less how to be in a relationship. If he wants to date her, he needs to prove to her that being in a relationship with him would be a positive thing and not just a dreadful chore of feeding an insecure man’s ego day in and day out.”“Sounds like he needs a practice girlfriend,” Leah grimaced.“You’re following my plotline perfectly,” Elliott said, grinning, “only it won't be a girlfriend…” he paused and looked meaningfully at Leah for dramatic effect.“NO.” She shrieked, jumping to her feet on the mattress.“YES!” Elliott said, jumping onto the bed as well.“Elliott, no! You can’t date Clint! That’s so weird! Does he even like men like that?”“It’s not weird! He’s even kind of hot now that he’s cleaned himself up a little, and the rest of it I can teach him! He’s a good guy deep down, he’s just so anxious and socially inept that he doesn’t know how to be that guy, especially not around people he likes! So if I go in as someone that he doesn’t necessarily like, teach him to be a good boyfriend, show Emily that he is a great person to be in a relationship with, and fix his life, then I will have fixed everyone’s problems!” He dropped to his knees and grabbed Leah’s hand, “Don’t you see? I can make real life a fabulous love story for two people who absolutely deserve it and could be so happy.”“You are absolutely out of your mind!” Leah moaned, shaking off Elliotts hand and kneeling down as well, “I know you think you’re the romance expert, and I know I said you make crazy things work, but I meant things like breaking the ice at weird times, not cooking up a scheme where you fake date an incel to make his crush jealous!”“It’s not just the jealousy, though. As the most romantic and beautiful person in town, I have a high market value and a great deal of credibility. I’m just lending him my stamp of approval while building in him the skills that it would actually take to get that stamp. A loan of approval, if you will.”“I still think it’s a crackpot idea. And you didn’t answer my question about whether he would even be into that idea.”“Leah, my dear, have you ever talked to anyone in this town and found that they identified as anything other than bi or pansexual? I swear there’s something in the water here. Think of everyone you’ve made out with, think of everyone I’ve made out with, those are pretty weird statistics.”Leah bit her lip and cocked her head to the side. “You’re right about that I guess.”“Plus one time I dropped by the shop to see if he could fix a necklace for me and he was watching gay porn,” Elliott added quickly.“ELLIOTT!” Leah shrieked, grabbing a pillow and smacking him over the head with it.“It’s just the truth!” he replied, trying to plaster down the flyaway hairs Leah had just created by hitting him. “Any other objections?”“Two,” Leah said, “first, what if he finds out you made out with Emily that one time?”“Easy. I will be upfront with that information so he’s aware going in that I have some experience in what she likes. That’s a feature of the plan, not a bug. Also, we made out like six times.”“Eughh,” Leah groaned“Listen, she’s a good kisser! It probably would have been more than that if she hadn’t wanted to go further than I was comfortable with,” Elliott said defensively, “What’s the second objection?”“What if he actually ends up liking you?” She asked, genuine concern in her voice, “then you’ve taken Emily’s problem and given it to yourself.“Clint is utterly obsessed with Emily. If he was going to move on, he would have done it already. I will be a means to an end, I guarantee it. Elliott proclaimed, projecting confidence from every one of his perfect, tiny pores.“I guess that’s why you’re the expert.” Leah signed, “Just make sure you write this all down so you can publish the story someday.”“Already outlining in my head.”
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Spring 14The hook on the wall squeaked as Clint hung his heavy smithing apron on it. He was closing up shop for the day and getting ready to shut down the forge for the night when an authoritative knock came at the door. He sighed. It was probably Riley coming to get some last minute geodes broken after a day in the mines. The cash was always nice, but Clint was ready to go out and get some dinner, not break a bunch of rocks while the farmer stood there staring at each geode like Clint was a human gacha game.He crossed the floor to the door, “I know I said I was worried geode crusher blueprints would run me out of business but-” he stopped as he swung the door open and found a figure that was definitely not Riley.“Elliott, what can I do for you?” He said, surprised to find someone not laden down with geodes at the door but no less annoyed at the delay of his dinner.“Clint, I know you’re closing up, would now be a good time to chat? I have something I want to discuss with you,” Elliott said, standing primly on the step, looking expectantly into Clint’s eyes. It made Clint nervous. He wasn’t used to people wanting to talk to him, usually they just wanted to buy something or get something fixed.“I was, uh, going to grab dinner, but you can come with, if you'd like. You usually get to the saloon about the same time as me anyway, don’t you?” Clint rambled.“Oh, I was hoping to speak alone, but I don’t want to disrupt your plans. Could I cook you dinner while we talk?” The man looked so earnest, Clint folded.He gestured for Elliott to come into the shop. “If you’re that intent, I guess. I don’t have a lot to cook with, mostly just ready meals.”As Elliott brushed past, Clint got the sense that he was a little closer to him than was normal. Clint didn’t always have a great sense of personal space, but he had never been able to smell Elliott before, which he definitely could right now. Living on the beach with all that hair, it made sense that the author smelled like a sea breeze. It wasn’t unpleasant, and in fact Clint even thought it was welcome in his shop that so often smelled like the sweat of a hard day’s work over the fire.“I love a little bowl of ramen now and then, I’ll show you my own personal way to fix it up nice,” Elliott said, coming to a stop inside, “lead the way to the kitchen!”Clint raised his eyebrows, but obliged, leading Elliott through the door on the back wall of the shop and into the house part of the building. How did Elliott know he had ramen? Was he that obvious? He was a little embarrassed by the mess, but Elliott was the one who had come over unannounced so he could deal with it. There were dishes in the small kitchenette sink, the bed was unmade, and dirty clothes laid in a couple of semi-organized piles on the floor.“Thank you for agreeing to this,” Elliott said as he began unceremoniously poking through the cupboards, “Please take a seat, we have some things to discuss.”A little affronted at being bossed around in his own home, Clint took a seat at the small dining table, set with two chairs.“Perfect. I’ll start by telling you this- no matter how this conversation goes, I am going to be entirely honest with you, and forthcoming about things you may or may not want to know, because I think you need to know them. I expect you to do the same with me. Whatever I’m thinking or feeling, I’m going to lay it all on the table for you, and I want the same in return. Is that clear?” Elliott located some packs of ramen and set them on the counter before turning to look at Clint.Clint’s annoyance was growing, but Elliott was obviously looking for an answer, so he cleared his throat. “I guess, I’m not great at talking about feelings, but I’ll play along. Will you just tell me what you’re talking about, though?” He took a beat, “I feel annoyed and nervous. Is that enough honesty?” Hopefully that would appease Elliott.Elliott laughed. “I wasn’t expecting it so soon, but I appreciate your willingness to play along.” He turned to the small fridge and plucked out the carton of JojaMart eggs inside.“I’ve come here today because I offered Emily to talk to you about what’s going on between the two of you. I’m not going to pretend I’m here entirely on my own behalf, that would be unproductive.”Clint wilted. “She was so angry last night. I know I screwed up by telling Penny we were maybe not-quite dating, but I’ve been working so hard, I thought maybe she would just go with it.”Elliott sighed, digging through the sink to find a pot for the noodles. “I’ll tell you right now that one thing you cannot do in this life is assert your will over other people’s. That will never go well. In the best case, it creates a situation of empty feelings. We won’t talk about the worst cases because I trust you don’t need to hear about that.”“I wasn’t thinking about that. She’s just so… go with the flow kind of girl. You know? I thought she would take it in stride.”“You’ll find that people who ‘go with the flow’ but who are still living their lives on their own terms often have very strong boundaries. Floating a river carefree requires adequate safety measures to be fun.”Clint stewed on that while Elliott scrubbed the pot he found, along with a few utensils. “If she wants me to leave her alone, I guess I can. I just really felt like with all these changes I’m making she might change her mind. Is that stupid?”“I don’t think it’s stupid, Clint, but I will be honest with you that your looks were never what was preventing her from liking you back. You’re awkward to be around, you don’t really know how to talk to people you’re interested in, at least not that I’ve seen, and you tend to be kind of… I don’t know how to say this… uncomfortable? That’s not the right word but I’ll find it.”“The author doesn’t know the right word?” Clint said, letting out a single guffaw.“Keep that up, familiar teasing is better than what you’ve been doing.” Elliott said, having moved on to getting the pot full of water and on the stove.“Thanks for the advice,” Clint said, rolling his eyes.“There’s a lot more where that came from, if you agree to what I’m going to offer.”“Oh like you’re going to be some kind of romance coach?” This conversation was getting sillier and sillier. Clint didn’t know why he was letting Elliott stay in his house, but he was doing the dishes, so maybe it was alright if he stayed a little longer.“A coach? Oh darling, nothing so common. You can find a million dating coaches on the internet who will happily take your money to sell you a course and a couple of Zoom calls that do nothing for you. If that was my take I would just suggest you go to therapy, which I will suggest anyway, but my plan goes much deeper than that.” Elliott flicked the sponge wand he was using at Clint a couple of times, spraying him with tiny bubbles. “You don’t need a coach and you’ve proven through your own efforts that you don’t need a fairy godmother, though I am excellent at makeovers.”“You don’t think I need a makeover?” Clint asked, latching on to the one thing that might get him a little validation in this incredibly uncomfortable situation.Elliott chucked, “whatever you’ve been doing, keep at it. Your skin looks great and it will only improve. The new shoes are a good upgrade as well. I’ve always said that all a man really needs to be a baseline level of attractive is a good haircut, okay skin, and nice shoes. Everything else is negotiable.” Clint looked down at his boots, which were the work boots he always wore. Should he get new ones of those as well?“Okay then, what do I need?”Elliott dumped the bricks of ramen into the boiling water. “You need practice, and I’m going to let you practice on me.”Clint stood up abruptly, feeling like someone had grabbed his stomach from the inside. “What do you mean, you’ll let me practice on you? Like kids ‘playing doctor’?” He said with air quotes, “What kind of weird game are you playing here?”Elliott laughed, “okay, putting it that way up front was mean, I will admit. Trust me, I’m not going to do anything to you that you don’t want, and you don’t have to agree to anything. Just listen to my proposal, and then if you want to throw burning hot noodles in my face and toss me out into the dirt, you can absolutely choose to do so.”Clint relaxed a little, but the unease in his stomach didn’t settle. “Go on, I guess.”“Excellent.” Elliott clapped his hands together, his rings clinking on the fork he was holding, “In most basic terms, we are going to fake date. We will plot out the perfect romance together that shows you off as an incredible boyfriend, all the while I will coach you on how to actually be an incredible boyfriend without it being broken down for you day by day. Over time, you will both seem like you’re becoming a better partner while actually becoming a better partner. I am well credentialed in both respects, being both a phenomenal writer of romance as well as a human that many people would like to date, and who maintains excellent friendships with pretty much everyone I know. I am the prime candidate for this position, and you are the prime subject.”Clint thought for a bit, watching the steam rise out of the pot.“What do you get out of this?” he finally asked.“Your permission to write all of this, or any part of it I choose, down to turn into my next novel. Plus, I think it’ll be fun. How much broth do you like in your ramen?”Clint shook his head, trying to orient himself to the reality of what was playing out in front of him. “Uh, I like a lot of broth. Soupy, my mom used to say.”“Perfect, I like them the same way. Warm soup on a cool spring night to start a fake romance and a real partnership?”“I haven’t agreed to anything yet,” Clint said, eyeing Elliott as he carefully peeled a couple of eggs that had been in the pot with the noodles. His heart was pounding in his chest and he felt sick to his stomach.“Of course, what can I clear up for you?”“I guess, I’ve always liked the idea of both women and men, at least I think I do. But I’ve never been with a guy. Not romantically, anyway.” Saying it out loud felt foreign to Clint, like something he knew and figured other people might assume, but it relaxed him a little to get it out into the open.“Have you ever been with a woman romantically?” Elliott asked, head tilting to the side with a funny expression on his face.“No, I guess not,” said Clint, “but I guess that’s different. You see that on tv so you know what to expect. And people think it’s more normal.”“Dear, have you looked at the people in the town you live in? There’s bisexuality in the water here. Old George might be the only one who only sees one gender as an option and I think that might just be because he’s been with his wife for so long that he forgot about the existence of other people in that way. I’m not trying to push you into coming to terms with your sexuality all at once, but I can guarantee that the only judgement is coming from inside the house. Plus, we won’t actually be involved romantically, it’ll all be an act.”“You’re bi? I thought you were only into men,” Clint said, now even more confused.Elliott sighed, stirring the ramen powder into the pot. “I was going to wait to tell you this a little bit longer but I did tell you I would be entirely honest. I definitely like girls too, if I had to guess I would say I’ve kissed about equal numbers. He turned, two hot bowls of ramen with perfectly cut soft boiled eggs sitting on top of them. “I’ve kissed Emily, more than once. Made out with, in fact. It was a long time ago, and it was only ever a fun thing, but I can tell you that I know what she likes and I can teach you.”Clint’s jaw was probably on the floor. Elliott had kissed the girl of his dreams and then let her go? Maybe never even planned to date her at all? He felt angry, then sick, then jealous.Elliott extended one of the bowls to Clint. “If you’re going to throw soup at me, now is the best time to do it.”Clint’s pulse was racing. The bowl of ramen felt like a choice. He really had a strong urge to do as Elliott said and pitch the whole bowl at his head, or at least splash him with the broth. He took the bowl in both hands, letting the warmth soak in as he thought. He could almost see his own reflection in that yellow egg yolk.He could toss this smug bastard out of his house. He could tell everyone in town what he had proposed to Clint and make sure everyone knew that Elliott was a weirdo. But that didn’t change the fact that he had kissed Emily… and he was willing to teach Clint what it would take to get her.“I’m feeling…” Clint grunted, eyes scrunched closed, “angry. But I want to know what you know.” He sighed and sat the bowl on the table. “I feel like an idiot, but I started this year determined to make whatever change is necessary. Hot fires make strong metal. I’ll take your offer.” He extended his hand, and Elliott set his own bowl of ramen down to shake Clint’s hand.“I don’t know what I’m getting into,” Clint said, “but I think if I want to achieve my goals I have to trust you.”“Thankfully, we have a lot of things to talk about,” Elliott said, sitting and gesturing for Clint to do the same, “This is not one-sided, you get a say in everything. I conduct my real and fake relationships the same way.”Clint took a deep breath and nodded. “Alright, what do we need to hash out first?”“Eat first, we can negotiate after. A first meal from your first boyfriend, eh?” Elliott smiled and winked.Clint felt tense, but the roiling in his stomach had calmed. He knew Elliott, he liked Elliott, as a friend at least. They weren’t close, but Clint had never known him to steer anyone wrong or hurt people. Maybe this would be okay.
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Spring 15The sun was bright overhead when Elliott left his house early to swing by Clint’s house. They had broken the whole day down as much as possible together last night, getting into minutiae needed for Clint to feel like he was fully prepared to execute. The desert festival started that day, and Clint was assigned to run one of the booths. They had talking points, flirty compliments, and a whole backstory ready.Clint was already on the bridge when Elliott got to it, which was not what they had planned.“Sorry I didn’t wait at my place,” he explained as they headed to the bus stop, “I was just so nervous that I couldn’t stay home any longer.”Elliott noted this, he wouldn’t make the mistake of asking Clint to stay put when he was nervous again. “Don’t worry, it’s just me,” he batted his eyes a couple times. This was the first test, if Clint was able to play ball with flirting.“You’re right. I feel comfortable with you. I need to remind myself of that,” Clint replied, a little stilted but with a good effort at an awkward smile. It would do, especially since no one would buy that Clint had just gotten very socially competent overnight.Elliott returned the smile and angled his shoulders to bump into Clint playfully, and Clint returned the bump, albeit a little harder. The stumble made them both laugh, and out of the corner of his eye, Elliott noticed Mayor Lewis eyeing them as he locked his house. Perfect.“Here there, boys,” Lewis said, waving as he hopped off his doorstep. “Headed to the bus?”“Yes, sir, I’m doing a booth today,” Clint said, gesturing to his backpack.“That’s great! I’m looking forward to seeing what you’ve got!” Lewis said, winking.Clint nodded and threw out the most uncomfortable looking finger guns Elliott had ever seen. He had to bite his tongue to keep from giggling, which was compounded when Lewis did finger guns back.“Weather today in Calico is supposed to be nice!” Elliott piped up, desperate to cut the awkward silence that had blossomed between the three as they continued toward the bus. “Warm but not hot, so hopefully we won’t have a bunch of people getting heat exhaustion. That’ll be nice.”“You’re absolutely right, we’ve commissioned Sandy to have tons of ice water on hand in the Oasis just in case, though. Can’t be too careful!” Lewis said, “Harvey has been there setting up since quite early this morning from what I hear.”“He did get pretty upset last year with all the cases,” Clint added, “I’m glad you took his suggestions this year.”Lewis flinched almost imperceptibly, “Yep, yep, that I did.” He seemed uncomfortable with being called out on not listening to Harvey the previous year. Interesting. Elliott knew Lewis had a lot of issues with pride and insecurity, but he had been under the impression that the mayor generally took the doctor’s recommendations seriously.They reached the bus, where many of the other villagers were gathered, waiting for Pam to finish her morning inspection checklist so they could all pile on.Elliott spotted Leah in the crowd and hustled over to her, Clint on his tail.“Ah! I’m so glad you’re here!” Leah exclaimed as they approached. “Elliott, I came by your place late last night to talk but you weren’t home, is everything okay?”He noticed that Emily was nearby, and definitely watching him to see what was going on. He could tell she was confused as to why Clint was with him, but she was probably out of earshot unless he shouted, which wouldn’t be very subtle.“Yes, couldn’t be better. I went over to Clint’s at like four yesterday and didn’t leave until almost 2am,” he said, raising his eyebrows at her.“Ooohhh,” she said, eyes wide and face plastered in a shocked smile, “So it went well then?”“We agreed that we have a lot in common and a lot to gain from getting to know each other better,” Elliott replied, “but we’ll talk more about that later. Tell me about your date!”Leah blushed and put her hands on her cheeks, “Gosh it was so nice. We really got to know each other more, it was so nice.”“Nice enough for a bouquet to be involved?”“Maybe”, she said, her voice pitching to a trill on the “e” in “maybe”.Elliott whooped and gave Leah a big hug, before noticing that Clint was standing there awkwardly. Again. Always with the awkward standing.“You’re part of this conversation too,” he cooed to the smith, “When we’re with Leah all three of us are talking together, you are not excluded.” In-the-moment social coaching was part of the agreed-upon plan they made, and Clint took it in stride. Sort of.“I’m really happy for you!” He said, “I do not, however, know the context.”Elliott giggled. “You’re adorable.” In some ways, it was true. Clint was really trying to have the conversation, but he was right that he didn’t have the backstory.As Elliott was about to explain, Pam opened the bus door and hollered at everyone- “All right, kids, she’s all set to go!”“Is Riley not coming?” Elliott asked Leah.“He’s got a harvest coming in this morning, he’ll warp over once he’s got it picked and replanted.”“Perfect, that gives you time to give Clint and I all the details of your date yesterday. Can you sit behind me and braid my hair?”“You got it,” Leah said as they poured onto the bus and headed for the back seats before Abigail and Sam hogged all of them.By the time Elliott stepped off the bus and into the desert air an hour later, he had a head full of viking-style french braids and was towing a slightly less uncomfortable fake crush. The outline they had started together involved at least a week of flirting and going on dates before becoming official, so they were not using the word “boyfriend” quite yet, but it was coming.“Do you know which booth is yours?” Elliott asked Clint as the smith walked up to the side of him.“The westward one, I think,” Clint said, pulling a sheet of paper out of his pocket and studying it.In a split second decision, Elliott steeled his nerves and stepped behind Clint, putting his chin on Clint’s shoulder as if he was trying to also read the paper. Elliott was only a whisper taller than Clint so he had to stand slightly forward on the balls of his feet to make it work comfortably, but as he tried to imagine what it would look like from the outside, he hoped it looked normal and not entirely awkward.Elliott felt Clint’s shoulder freeze and tense at the contact, and he was struck by how dense the muscle was under his chin. Obviously Clint was strong, but he was always wearing long-sleeved, kind of baggy shirts, even now that he had bought himself a new wardrobe, so it was difficult to remember that there was a well-built blacksmith under all that flannel.“Yep, the west one, you were right,” Elliott said, angling his head to make sure his breath hit Clint’s ear, “and turn your head to smile at me a little bit, it will look cute to anyone watching,” he whispered.Clint did as instructed, but his eyes showed panic instead of reflecting the slightly too-wide smile he put on, making him look a little insane.Elliott sighed to himself and moved aside, “let’s go get you set up,” he said, gesturing at the assigned booth.“I’m going to go grab some food, but I’ll come check in on you guys later,” Leah said, waving and heading off in the direction of the Chef’s tent.“Good talking to you,” Clint said, returning the wave. He looked to Elliott, “you don’t have to help me if you don’t want to, you can go get food too.”“I’ll have plenty of time to do that while you’re busy with customers, but I want to monopolize your time a bit,” Elliott responded, grabbing Clint’s upper arm and giving it a small squeeze. The move was partially to comfort Clint, but after feeling his shoulder a second ago, Elliott couldn’t help but touch his bicep. It was huge, and Elliott’s stomach fluttered for a moment. Clint’s personality might make him a little uncomfortable, but his arms were certainly nice.“Plus,” Elliott leaned in conspiratorially, “I want to know what was up with the mayor being weird about what you’re selling.”Clint’s eyes widened, “Is that part of always telling you the truth?”Elliott couldn’t help but laugh out loud. “With that reaction, you simply have to tell me.”“Let’s get out of earshot of everyone,” Clint said, breaking Elliott’s grip on his arm and heading toward his booth.Elliott followed, mind racing as to what the gossip could be. Could it have something to do with Marnie? Was Lewis having Clint make her jewelry in secret?Once they entered through the back curtains of the tent that served as a pop up shop, Clint dropped his pack on the counter and started removing wooden chests that made a rattling noise as they moved.“This should be enough noise to cover us, but you have to keep this to yourself,” Clint said, looking furtively to the sides of the tent, “not even Leah can know, okay? I have to cover my own ass here.”Elliott deflated a little bit at this stipulation, but agreed anyway.“Mayor Lewis placed a huge order for gold a while back. It took me a while to fill, actually, because normally I don’t keep that much gold ore on hand. It doesn’t get a lot of use here, since most people can’t afford much fine jewelry. I had to mine a lot of it myself, and pay Riley to help me mine the rest since he goes to much deeper levels in the mines than I can.”“What is he doing with it?” Elliott said, thinking of all the possibilities.“You’re not going to believe this,” Clint said, picking up one of the chests and rattling it around some more, “he sent out for a life size cast iron mold of himself and had it delivered to my shop, and had me use it with all the gold to make a life size, solid gold statue of himself. It’s in his backyard. I helped him put it there.”Elliott’s jaw dropped. “You cannot be serious. You’re messing with my head right now.”“I’m dead serious,” Clint said, “after that, Lewis seems to trust me a lot, so I hear about all sorts of weird stuff he does.” He put the chest back down on the counter and opened it to reveal a quantity of iron ingots in the shape of rounded off squares with one side flat and the other side domed.“That’s the kind of thing a super villain would do. It’s just hanging out in his backyard? I thought he had a tall fence so he could sunbathe nude or something, but that’s a whole new level of weird.”“There’s more, but the main thing that’s weird about it,” Clint said, looking around again and then getting very close to Elliott, “and again, you cannot tell anyone about this, ever.”Elliott nodded and drew closer, close enough he could feel Clint’s breath on the side of his face.“The money for the ore and the mold, hundreds of thousands worth, came mostly out of tax money,” Clint’s voice was barely a whisper, and his tone was deadly serious.“No!” Elliott said, his hands flying to cover his mouth.“Yeah, and that’s been going on for-”“Oh, sorry!” Clint’s voice cut off as the sudden apology came from the edge of the counter, behind Elliott’s back. He jumped and whipped around to see Harvey, looking mortified, holding a case of plastic water bottles, “I, uh, I didn’t mean to interrupt,” he said, looking anywhere but directly at the two men, “I brought your first bottles of water for the day.” The doctor set the case of bottles on the counter and started to pull water out, plastic bottles squeaking on plastic packaging as he set four on the counter. “I want everyone to drink at least one bottle an hour, but you can come get more at the medical tent as often as you want in between distributions.”Elliott was suddenly very conscious of how close he and Clint had been, and how close they were still standing, even though his back was to Clint now.“Do you have any soda?” Clint asked, “I tend to use that for hydration when I’m forging and it works well for me.”Harvey raised an eyebrow, and Elliott made a face at Clint.“No, I do not have soda, and you might find that water would be even more effective when doing sweaty work, if you care to try that,” Harvey said. “Anyway, drink it, and I’ll be back with two more bottles later.” With that, he picked up the case again and headed off.“Really? Soda?” Elliott said, pushing Clint by the shoulder and feeling a touch of the ick, “hot guys drink water.”Clint shrugged. “Water tastes like nothing.”Elliott couldn’t believe his ears. This adult man had basically admitted he didn’t drink water.“Anyway,” Elliott said, searching for something to change the subject before he said something mean, “show me what you’ve got besides iron.”Clint brightened. “Right, I’ve got the iron ingots, obviously, but I also have some copper spheres, some coal bricks that people can use for barbecues, and then my favorite,” he unlatched the smallest chest, which was a dark wood inlaid with some twisting vines of bronze. Inside were a couple dozen simple rings of different metals, nested in velvet. “I like to make these with leftover slag from my other projects. They’re not the highest quality, so I can sell them for really cheap, which people like. I can even resize them right here, to an extent, and resize them completely back home if people want.” He held the box out to Elliott, beaming with pride.The rings were adorable. They all had flaws, some had specks of other metals in them, or bits that bore visible, uneven hammer marks. Clint had made each one unique, with the flaws presented as a feature instead of an issue. “They’re lovely,” Elliott said, “I’d love to get one once I get ahold of some Calico tokens.” He meant it. He liked to wear rings, and often went through phases where he wore multiple on each finger. One of these would make a perfect addition to his collection.“Any of them you particularly like? I can set it aside for you,” Clint offered.“There is one I think is extra nice,” Elliott said, eyeing an iron ring with a diagonal pattern of hammer marks, “but I’ll see if someone else wants it first. If it’s meant to be, it’ll be here when I come back.”“Whatever you say,” Clint put the box back on the counter.By now, more villagers were starting to meander their way up to the booths.“I’ll leave you to your sales,” Elliott said, backing towards the slit in the rear of the tent, “but I’ll be back in a while.” He winked and whirled around to exit without another word.After losing at betting on a couple of races, Elliott headed down to Emily and Sandy’s Outfit Services. He needed to chat with Emily, and getting styled by someone else was always an interesting experience. People had ideas of what Elliott was supposed to be because of the way he looked, and while truth be told it was more of a matter of him working hard to make his appearance match the way he thought about himself, different people had different interpretations.As he approached the giant, upturned cardboard box that served as Emily’s dressing room, he saw Emily herself heading Abigail outside, her normal vest and skinny jeans replaced by a distinctly feminine suit of chainmail.“I love it so much!” Abigail was saying to Emily, “you make me feel so good about myself.” She looked genuinely emotional, and she wrapped Emily in a huge hug, mail skirt clinking as she did.“You look incredible,” Elliott said, coming to a stop. “Are you going to start heading into the mines with Riley?”Emily and Abby turned to look at him, and Sandy squealed.“I haven’t seen you in ages!” She said, coming to hug him, “You need to come visit more often, I miss your face.”“I’m so sorry, Sandy,” he said, patting her on the back a couple times and pulling away from the hug, “I’ve been busy with my writing, but I’ll try to get out more.”Ever since Elliott had published his first book, Camellia Station, Sandy had been a little bit overly excited about him. He appreciated that she read and enjoyed his work, but something about the way she went about it made him uncomfortable. He had a feeling that Emily had told her about their trysts and Sandy wanted a piece of him now that Emily had decided she wasn’t interested, and the romance novels just fueled that.He turned to Abby.“But no, really, are you going mine diving soon?” He probed, earnestly interested, and only partly because he was concerned about Riley spending time with someone alone other than Leah.She laughed, “Don’t tell my dad, but I’ve been going a little. I stay on the top ten floors. Anything worse than bugs and slimes is a no-go for me.”“Don’t use this chain mail as armor for mining, please,” Emily said, looking concerned, “it’s not battle-ready, and even then chain mail was only really protection against slashing, it won’t help with slimes.”“Don’t worry, I’m all good on armor,” Abby assured her, “but I’m going to go show this to Marlon anyway and see what he thinks!” She raced off, jingling all the way.“I’m glad you came,” Emily said, turning her attention to Elliott and pulling him by the hand into the box. “I noticed you and Clint didn’t come to the saloon like normal last night, and then I saw you two together this morning. You talked to him?”“Yeah, I went over tomorrow when I knew he would be about to head to the Stardrop,” Elliott said, “We talked about what happened, and he definitely already knew he was in the wrong, and agreed that he needed to leave you alone for both of your sakes.”“Oh, Elliott, thank you so much. That must have been such an awkward conversation. I really owe you one.”“It was no problem. It was definitely uncomfortable at first, but I ended up staying for dinner, and we started talking, and, well, we talked until like two in the morning.” Elliott looked down, hoping he was playing this role convincingly.“Oh, that’s great! I didn’t think you guys would have that much in common, but are you, like, friends now?”“Well, that’s the weird thing. The more we talked,” he sighed and looked around, trying to look embarrassed and praying that he could summon a flush to his cheeks, “I think I might kind of like him.”Emily’s mouth opened with a pop. She blinked quickly, as if that would help her process the information. “Like, like? Like, like-like?” She finally stammered, running her hand through her hair from front to back.“Yeah, like, like-like.” Elliott said, biting his lip. “I don’t know what it is. I’ve known the guy for years, but for some reason I never noticed him in that way, you know? It just clicked. I’m not sure if he feels quite the same way, especially with how we know he feels about you, but he agreed to hang out more.”“I mean, if it means he leaves me alone I’m all for it,” Emily said, shaking her head, “Just be careful. When he gets it in his head he likes someone, he can get weird.”“I’ve talked to the guy before, if him being weird to someone meant he liked them, I think he’s in love with the whole town,” he joked.“I guess that’s fair,” she said, turning toward the racks of clothes. “Well, then let’s get you in an outfit that’ll turn his head and make him forget all about me.” She had a gleam in her eye. “You’re giving Adonis vibes today.”“How do I look?” Clint turned his head to see Elliott approaching, and he was struck a little more speechless than normal. Elliott’s khaki trousers and blue and white striped shirt had been replaced by a toga that revealed half of his chest and most of his thighs. He wore a laurel wreath on his head and looked for all the world like a sculpture of a Greek god.Clint swallowed hard. He needed to come up with a compliment. They had agreed that he would give Elliott genuine compliments so he could get in the practice of saying things that weren’t weird.“You look… like a sculpture.” Was all he could get out. It felt weird to talk about how another man looked good, but the sculpture comparison would surely work.Elliott leaned his elbows on the counter, right across from Clint. The loose parts of his hair cascaded over his shoulder, drawing Clint’s attention even more to his bare chest.“A gold sculpture that you can keep all to yourself in your backyard?” Elliott whispered, a mischievous smile on his lips.Clint balked. The reference to the secret and the scandalous implication making his stomach do a double flip.“I told you to hush about that,” Clint said furtively, annoyed that he would bring it up again. There wasn’t anyone in earshot, but it still made him uncomfortable to talk about in the open.“Oh come on now, just flirt back,” pouted Elliott.“I, uh, I think you look like you could be on the cover of one of your own books.”“Only if you’re on the cover with me.”Clint flinched. Elliott made it look so easy to flirt. It took him forever to come up with a line and Elliott just played it right back to him faster than Clint could think. It was a good thing this was all for practice, because he felt like as much of a rookie as you could be.“If I’m on the cover, it would take a special kind of freak to buy that book,” he tried, not meaning to say something self-deprecating, but it was all that came out.“Then maybe I should start writing books aimed at special kinds of freaks.”“You already write books aimed at women,” Clint said before thinking.Elliott’s head thumped down onto the counter. “We said no incel talking points,” he said, his voice muffled by the wood of the counter and the hair that flopped over his face.“Sorry,” Clint said, “it’s true though.”Elliott popped his head up. “Yes, my audience is mostly women,” he hissed, “no, women are not freaks, and you have to wash that out of your mind if you ever want a chance with a woman, or any sane person that respects other people.”Clint looked down at his toes, visible because he was wearing sandals for once. “Okay, I’m sorry. I’ll work on it.”“Good,” Elliott said, glancing into the chest that held the rings and plucking out one of the few that remained. His eyes softened as he put it onto his left index finger. “The one I wanted is still here. I told you it was meant to be.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Spring 19The door to Elliott’s cabin burst open as the author and the blacksmith both stormed inside.“I cannot believe you continue to spout these disgusting ideas out in public, in real life!” Elliott fumed as he slammed the door behind them.“I don’t understand why it makes you so angry that I have opinions!” Clint thundered back.“You saying that women getting the right to vote was the beginning of male disenfranchisement in society is not an opinion you can just go around shooting off in front of everyone!”Clint gritted his teeth. He hadn’t thought the idea was so controversial, but the way Elliott’s eyes had widened and his body language had frozen when Clint said it had told him otherwise.The night had been going so well before that. They had planned to meet up at the saloon for dinner, and had a couple of nice conversations outlined that would provide ample opportunity for flirting. Their plates were cleared and they had been ready to call it a night when the topic had turned to history, and Clint had made the error that lit the fuse for the Elliott rage bomb that was currently going off in front of him.“You should have seen Emily’s face when you said it, too,” Elliott snapped, his arms folded over his chest, “she was visibly appalled.”Clint’s heart skipped. That certainly wasn’t what he wanted. “If I could explain to her what I meant, she would get it. She’s more reasonable than you are,” he huffed.“You’ve got to cut that line of thinking out,” said Elliott, rolling his eyes, “Emily is by no means a political extremist, but the things you say are extreme sometimes, and even if you don’t mean them in hateful ways, they’re so deeply connected to a very hateful ideology.”Clint grimaced. “I don’t hate anyone.”“Then stop listening to people who do,” Elliott’s tone softened in a way that made Clint want to cry. “Those forums you visit are just a hub for insecure men to tell other insecure men that their problems are all someone else’s fault. You already decided weeks ago that you were going to improve yourself, don’t cling to people who say that you should never grow.” He slowly uncrossed his arms and pulled his desk chair out, gesturing at Clint to sit.Clint did as indicated, and Elliott plopped onto his bed, which was just adjacent to his desk, pulling his legs crossed and setting his hands on his knees. Clint got the sense that Elliott wanted to make him comfortable for the conversation that was next, which made him nervous.“So, is this you fake breaking up with me?” Clint asked, “I imagine you’re concerned about your image, being seen getting friendly with me.”Elliott cocked his head. “While I’ve spent no small amount of time thinking about what people must think of my own ideas given that I seem to be publicly endorsing you, I do believe I’ve built up enough social goodwill that most will not think worse of me for it, but it does weigh on me at times like this.”Clint’s stomach churned at the idea that Elliott worried people would think he was a bad person for hanging out with Clint. What did that say about the way people thought of Clint himself? This was a bad situation. He studied his hands, trying to calm himself down.“But that being said, I am not breaking off this arrangement with you,” Elliott said, emphasizing the “not”.Clint flicked his eyes up, trying to read the expression on Elliott’s face. “Why not? It seems like it would be better for you all the way around, and if you think I’m not worthy of Emily anyway then what’s the point?”Elliott scoffed. “Worthiness in relationships isn’t a concept I think about. Anyone can be the right person for anyone else if the feelings are there. Good grief, my best selling book is about a murderous ex-con falling in love with a princess.”Clint started. Maybe he needed to read some of this man’s books.“Above all, though, I believe in your ability to make changes, and I believe in who you are right now. I think you’re a good person, Clint, you just need a little bit of help. We are going to make this work. I will not abandon a friend, not ever.”Clint continued to stare at his hands.“Clint, look at me,” Elliott said, even more softly now. Clint looked up, straightening his back and making eye contact. Elliott’s brown eyes were boring into his own. “I will not leave you.”Something in Clint’s heart whirred to life. He believed Elliott. He had a real friend here, and he would not be left behind. It was a feeling he had seldom experienced, and yet here it was taking root.“That, uh,” he stammered, “that means a lot to me.”Elliott remained silent, eyes still fixed on Clint.Clint started to get nervous again. Was he supposed to keep talking? Maybe he should keep talking.“I’m not somebody that people root for,” he continued, hoping it would fill the silence and Elliott’s expectations, “I get lonely, I don’t know what else to do with myself, so I go online.” He suddenly realized what he said and blushed, “not, not like that,” he stammered, feeling sick as Elliott raised an eyebrow and pursed his lips, visibly trying to stifle a laugh, “I mean, well, sometimes like that, but that’s just normal I think, and, um, anyway,” he stopped and tried to re-track the train of thought that had just derailed and killed twelve pedestrians. “There are other people going through the same thing, and it gives me someone to talk to,” he finished, nodding hard to indicate he was done and hoping Elliott would take the hint and not make him keep blabbering.It took a couple beats, but Elliott finally obliged.“I’m glad you feel like you’re not alone, but those forums are just reinforcing your loneliness, like crabs dragging each other back into a bucket. From now on, when you’re feeling lonely, or like something is unfair, you have me. We’re supposed to be dating, and we’ll be official in a few days, so it isn’t weird for us to be together all the time.”“Are you comfortable with that, though?” Clint asked, “I know I make people uncomfortable, so we don’t have to hang out all the time, I get it.”Elliott shook his head, smiling. “I am comfortable with you, and if I’m not then I need to get comfortable, just like you need to get comfortable with me. If we’re going to do this, there needs to be total trust, just like I’ve said from the beginning. Besides, if you’re practicing to be in a real relationship, you need to get used to being around someone a lot of the time and sharing your life.”“Thank you.” Clint said, not knowing what else to say. He wanted to say something eloquent like Elliott would, but he meant those two words with his whole chest. He was so grateful to this man for giving him this chance to be better.“You’re welcome. Now, hand me my notebook. We need to start planning next week. We need Emily to see you asking me out and me being enthusiastic about it, and we’ll do it Sunday so that lots of people are there and we get people talking.”“We want people to talk?” Clint said, horrified at the idea of his personal life becoming a source of gossip.“Of course we do. If we become a topic of conversation, people will be more likely to bring it up to Emily, which will keep you on her mind.”“I guess that makes sense…”“Of course it makes sense, I’m a prolific writer who pens glorious whirlwind romances and now I’m writing your life. Bask in the journey,” Elliott finished with a flip of his hair and a wink.“So should I bring you a bouquet yet? Or are we waiting on that?”“That’s something I was hoping to workshop with you actually, because I’m split. The way I see it, there are two directions we could go.”Clint leaned forward. These outlines were his favorite. They reminded him of blueprint sketches for swords or knives. The strategy of each part flowing into the other was like a puzzle, designing the shape of the blade and how it would need to be supported by the tang, deciding how to shape and bevel the blade, how the handle needed to fit in order to be well-balanced. If Elliott found writing to be a similar experience to forging, Clint could understand why he loved it so much. Bringing something to life from nothing but imagination and raw materials was one of the best parts of life.“On the one hand, you could show up with the bouquet, make a show of asking me to go to the flower dance with you as your boyfriend, and we play it like you decided you just wanted to pull the trigger then and there,” Elliott said, jotting something down in his notebook. “The other option would be for you to ask me just to go to the flower dance, and we could orchestrate Pierre having a bouquet on hand at his stall that day so you can ask me then, and at that point it seems more spontaneous, which could be cute as well.”Clint considered for a moment. “Spontaneity is more of your thing, isn’t it? I feel like if we wait til the flower dance, maybe you should be the one who asks me to be your boyfriend. Because then I asked you out, but you decided you wanted to lock me down.”Clint was started from his musings by the sound of the notebook slapping to the wooden floor. He said something stupid, didn’t he? He knew he shouldn’t have questioned Elliott’s plans.“Clint!” Elliott exclaimed, jumping to his feet.‘Here it comes,’ Clint thought, ‘another lecture.”Elliott slapped his hands down on both of Clint’s shoulders, and Clit was shocked to see that he was grinning ear to ear.“You are brilliant, divinely inspired, in fact!”“I… am?” Clint stammered, still reeling.“Yes, dear,” Elliott said, teasing on the word “dear”, “I’d kiss you but we’re not there yet.” He sat back down on the bed and grabbed his notebook, scribbling furiously with the new idea.Clint didn’t hardly register what was going on. Elliott had just called him dear and mentioned kissing him. It was all a joke, and fake, and he knew that, but Clint would be damned if he didn’t feel a thrill at being talked to like that. His adrenaline had sent a thrill through his chest and shoulders, and now he felt warm and nervous, but in a nice way.“Okay, so now that we have the bouquet details down,” Elliott said, which brought Clint back to earth, “let’s talk about how exactly Sunday night is going to go.”Spring 21Elliott perched at his normal table in the Stardrop Saloon, poking at a plate of Gus’s famous spaghetti. He was too anxious to eat. Clint was supposed to have been here half an hour ago, but he hadn’t shown up yet. Elliott had texted him to see what was going on, but read receipts indicated Clint hadn’t opened the message yet. He had spent the last fifteen minutes or so coming up with all kinds of ideas as to where his soon-to-be fake boyfriend was, ranging from the simple (he took a nap and didn’t set an alarm) to the convoluted (this whole thing was an elaborate long con by his cousin Charles, who delighted in pranking him).Every so often, he caught Emily looking at him from across the room. The saloon was busy that night, as it always was on Sundays, and usually Elliott had plenty of people to talk to. Tonight, however, everyone seemed very involved in their own business, and Leah and Riley had gone on a weekend date to Ginger Island, so he didn’t even have his best friend there to distract him.He wondered what Emily was thinking. After seeing them in here together night after night for the last week or so, for Elliott to suddenly show up alone and looking forlorn might look odd.Truth be told, Elliott was not having as much fun with the whole arrangement as he had thought. Sure, it was great fodder for his next book, but taking responsibility for Clint’s social development was stressful. He seemed so ready to change but so afraid to make the most important changes. After their discussion two nights before, Clint had promised to stay off the incel websites, but Elliott was well aware how much that rhetoric could poison someone’s mind. He deserved the chance to change, it was just exhausting.Now, faced with the possibility that Clint had decided to go back on their plan and start avoiding him again, Elliott felt a deep sadness. It surprised him. He would have thought that after his internal grumbling about this task he had taken on, the potential of it being taken off his shoulders would be liberating. Instead, he was just upset. He felt rejected, as if he had actually been jilted for a date by someone he liked.Halfway through attempting to cut a meatball into perfect sixteenths, Elliott heard the saloon door close, and the telltale squeak of Clint’s going-out sneakers. The anxiety of the last 45 minutes evaporated.It was show time.Elliott looked up, being sure to make eye contact with Clint before letting his smile appear so that Clint, and everyone around, could see that the smile was just for Clint.The blacksmith greeted Lewis and Marnie on his way in, and bustled over to Elliott’s table. His hair was coiffed, his beard was trimmed, and he was wearing a shirt that Elliott had never seen him wear. It was still not cut quite close enough to be as flattering as Elliott would have chosen for him, but the effort was there. Along with all this, Clint was also wearing a distinct look of stress.“I’m so sorry I’m late,” he said before he was even close to the table, “I got really in my head and changed my outfit about a million times, and I totally lost track of time.”“It paid off, you look great,” Elliott cooed, leaning forward on his elbows to make a show of looking Clint up and down.Clint smiled and took his seat across the table, strategically seated at a three-quarters turn away from the bar so that Emily could hear everything he said if she was inclined to listen, but he couldn’t see her so he wouldn’t be concerned about her reactions to things that were said.“Busy day?” Elliott asked, suddenly finding his appetite again and twirling his pasta.“Not too bad, actually, Riley didn’t come in today so I was mostly working on my own projects. I started a re-creation of an old buckler this winter and finally got the chance to work on it today.”“Medieval or Renaissance style?” Elliott asked through a mouthful of pasta, trying to picture it and wondering if he should set his novel in a bygone era to give the blacksmith profession more oomph.“Oh, it’s Medieval, actually,” Gus said, “I’m surprised you know about that, or, care”Elliott swallowed hard, internally chastising himself for trying to shovel that much food into his mouth at once. “I love hearing about what you do, silly.”“Are you doing okay?” Clint asked, eyeing Elliott’s fork, which was already loaded with more spaghetti, “You don’t normally eat this fast.”Elliott’s stomach growled as if in response. “I’m fine,” he said, sighing, “I just haven’t eaten a ton today. I got on a hot streak with writing and didn’t really take a break.” It was the truth. He had probably gotten down around twenty thousand words, only taking breaks to use the bathroom and drink water. Everything else had been a distraction. Everything going on with Clint might be stressful, but it was incredible fuel for his story.“Sounds like we both got a lot done today,” Clint said, smiling. He must have been practicing in the mirror, Elliott thought, his smile wasn’t nearly as strained as it usually was.At that moment, Gus came over from behind the bar, holding a plate loaded down with spaghetti and meatballs. “Good to see you Clint, here’s the Sunday special for you.”Over the years, Gus had gotten used to several of the locals coming in for dinner almost every night, and no longer asked for their orders unless they said something as soon as they came in the door. Regulars like Elliott, Clint, and Shane ate whatever Gus happened to fancy making that day, and it was always a hit. Spaghetti was an evergreen favorite for most everyone.“Thank you, Gus, this is exactly what I need tonight,” Clint said, digging in.“You cannot beat spaghetti sometimes, it’s just a perfect food,” Elliott said as Gus walked away. “It reminds me of busy school nights when I was a teenager. My parents would get home from work with just enough time to make a quick dinner before shuffling us and his siblings off to different activities.”“What kind of things did you do?” Clint said around a meatball,“So I have two sisters who were always going to one dance class or another, and my older brother usually had a sports practice or a theater rehearsal to get to. My extracurriculars were a little bit all over the place.”“How so?”“I dabbled a little in most extracurriculars in middle and high school, but never found anything that held my attention for more than a year or a season. I was a decent kicker in gridball. I was okay at wrestling, back when my hair was short, obviously, because this would not have worked in grappling. I did a couple plays with my brother, played trumpet in the school marching band, and helped with planning my senior prom.”“Wow,” Clint said, “you sound like a real jack of all trades.”“Alas, the result was no prodigious skills, but I made a lot of friends and got a lot of varied experiences that I get to draw on for my writing. What did you do in school?”“Honestly, I knew I wanted to go into smithing, so I spent a ton of time in metal shop. I liked going to gridball games with my friends, but I mostly just did my homework, read books about historical metallurgy, and went mudding on the weekends.”“I love that,” Elliott said, “it fits you. What was your senior yearbook quote?”“Oh, no, you cannot ask that,” Clint said, waving his fork at Elliott.“Can’t I?” Elliott asked, feigning offense, “What if I bat my lashes and promise to do dirty things to you later?” Over Clint’s shoulder, he saw Emily look up with a start. She was definitely eavesdropping.“You can’t handle all this,” Clint joked, and Elliott nodded, glad he had gone with the more daring dialogue option. They hadn’t planned the entire conversation sentence for sentence, but they did have some particular planned banter, this bit being part of it. Elliott wanted to make sure Clint could dish and take flirtation to a high standard.“I’ll ask again, then, what was your senior quote?”“How about this, I’ll tell you, but only if you’ll go to the Flower Dance with me.”Elliott smiled. Clint had nailed the delivery, and they both knew it. Emily wasn’t even pretending not to listen anymore. Elliott tucked a lock of hair behind his ear and made his best adoring gaze face at Clint.“I would really love to go to the Flower Dance with you, Clint,” he said, trying to sound like he was speaking softly while really trying to make sure everyone could hear. Emily’s jaw dropped open, and she accidentally overflowed the mug of beer she was filling.“Awesome,” Clint said, “I’m really excited.”“We’re going to have so much fun. I still need to figure out what I’m wearing, and now you’ve upped the ante.”“You don’t have to do anything special for me, your normal self is perfect.”“Oh I know I’m effortlessly stunning, but I want to make you feel special.”“I’ll try to match that energy, then.” Clint grinned, and Elliott could tell he was proud of himself for getting through the exchange without saying something weird. Elliott was awfully proud of him, as well.“I’ll go grab some beer and we can toast to a great date?” Elliott offered, rising.“Sounds like a plan,” Clint replied, spearing another meatball.Elliott swept up to the bar, looking around to see if anyone else had been paying attention. Robin and Demetrius were definitely staring at him, though as soon as he looked in their direction they snapped back to talking as if they had never stopped. Shane, sitting at the bar, raised his mug to Elliott in a half-hearted salute.Emily approached as Elliott hopped onto a bar stool. “Two stouts, please,” he said dreamily.“Elliott, cut the shit for a second,” Emily hissed, “What is going on with you two? I know you said you had a crush but I wasn’t expecting Clint to actually also have a crush on you.”He cocked his head and chuckled. “You know how that sounds, right? Like, I know what you mean, but that sounds wild.”“It does, but as you said, you know what I mean.”“I’m not sure. Maybe he just latched onto the first person to show interest in him? I am also stunningly beautiful, so there’s that. Either way I’m not complaining. I’m getting my shot at someone I really like.”Emily chewed on the inside of her cheek while she filled the two mugs.“I guess I’m happy for you. I’m just confused. I hope you know what you’re getting into,” she finally said, setting the mugs in front of him, and then lowering her voice to a whisper, “he is just so awkward, it hurts.”Elliott shrugged and took the mugs. “It works for me, for some reason.” He winked at her and headed back to the table, excited to see how Clint handled the rest of the night’s flirting.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Spring 22
Monday morning, Emily sat at her sewing machine, adding extra layers of ruffles underneath Haley’s Flower Dance dress. Apparently the style in the city this year was ballgowns, so Haley of course needed to have a fluffier dress than everyone else. She would probably complain about looking like a cupcake when she looked at the photos in five years, but for now it would make her happy.
Emily had gotten up early because sleep had eluded her all night and she was sick of staring at the ceiling. Her interaction with Elliott last night sat on her. After all the things she had told him about why she wasn’t interested in Clint’s advances, what was he seeing that made him look past it?
As Emily was midway through the third layer of ruffles, Haley walked in the door to the house, startling Emily.
“Hey, I thought you were still asleep,” Emily said around the pins that were stuck in her mouth.
“I got up early to take pics of the sunrise,” Haley said, “My portfolio is getting pretty fleshed out, but I wanted to show off my landscape skills.”
“Can I see?” Emily asked, putting the pins into her pincushion.
Haley ambled over, clicking through the photos on her camera. “I’m setting it to the first one chronologically, so click to the right.”
Emily started clicking through photos, oohing and aahing over her sister’s ability to capture light and color. “This is really gorgeous,” she mumbled, pausing on one particular photo where the crepuscular rays were just perfect, “can you make a print of this one for me? I would love to put it up in my room.”
Haley glowed with pride and took the camera to see which photo Emily was looking at. “Ahh I didn’t even notice that one when I was looking. I’ll definitely make a print for you, just give me a couple days to get through my backlog.”
“I’m almost done with your dress,” Emily said, turning back to her sewing machine. “It’ll be ready for you to try on in maybe, like, an hour? Does that work?”
“Definitely, I don’t have any other plans today so I’ll just be watching tv til you’re done.”
Haley gently picked up a section of the gown that wasn’t in the machine at the moment. “Um, speaking of the Flower Dance, I heard about Clint and Elliott deciding to go together.”
Emily froze and turned to her sister. “How did you hear about that?”
“Marnie was out feeding the animals when I was heading back to the house so I chatted with her for a minute. Kind of weird, don’t you think?”
“Yeah, I guess.” Emily was quiet.
“Do you feel weird about it?” Haley prodded.
Emily shrugged. “I mean, yeah. I probably shouldn’t because it means Clint isn’t being weird to me anymore, but it’s just so sudden and… weird. It’s weird.”
“Poetic,” Haley snorted.
“Like, I guess I just think it’s weird that Clint’s attention moved away from me so quickly. He’s liked me for so long and now all of a sudden he’s fixated on someone else.”
“Are you upset about it? Like is your ego bruised or something because a guy doesn’t like you anymore?”
“I don’t think so? I feel like I should be relieved. I was at first, to be totally honest. I even put Elliott in a super hot outfit when he told me he had a crush on Clint, because I wanted to be supportive.”
“That was a good fuckin’ outfit,” Haley said, staring into the middle distance with a smirk on her face, “I still can’t believe you let him off the hook.”
“We were only ever friends with benefits, and not even that beneficial of benefits,” Emily asserted. “Like, what’s the point of friends with benefits if you don’t even fuck?”
“So are you jealous?”
“No, definitely not that. Elliott is a good friend but I genuinely don’t like him like that. It was just for fun. Anyway, I can see what Clint would see in Elliott, but I don’t really get what Elliott would see in Clint that I don’t, and I especially don’t understand why Clint’s mind changed so damn fast after being so hung up on me for literally years.” Emily pulled the next ruffle over and started sewing the hem.
“Maybe it’s just the attention?” Haley offered, “Clint doesn’t have a lot of friends, and I doubt he’s ever dated anyone, so maybe when Elliott showed interest he just went all in? Like that’s probably the best offer he’s ever gonna get so he might as well go for it?”
Emily considered. “You might be right. And if that’s the truth then I guess I’m happy for them and I hope it works out, because after seeing how Clint acts when I shut him down, I really don’t want to see what happens when he gets dumped.”
“A public tantrum for the ages, I bet,” Haley said, rolling her eyes, “Do you think he would cry or just yell a lot?”
“Ugh, he would probably angry cry. Don’t talk about it though, it makes me want to crawl out of my skin.”
“What would he even do in that situation though? How is he supposed to blame women for all his problems when a man is the one who dumped him?” Haley said, scrunching her nose in disgust.
“I’m sure it would be all my fault, somehow.”
“Puke,” Haley said, “In that case, let’s hope they get married.”
“Ideal outcome,” Emily agreed, “Ideal outcome.”Spring 24
Elliott woke up the morning of the Flower Dance not feeling excited. Sometime in the middle of the night he realized that he was setting himself up for people to think of him, at least in part, as “Clint’s ex”, which churned his stomach. If he showed up to Clint and Emily’s wedding people would give him weird, pitying looks. It might take years for people to forget that they had been involved. What a trainwreck this was, even if it was for a good cause.
As he donned his crisp, blue suit and shook out his overnight curls, he steeled himself like a warrior riding into battle to face an unknown fate. He filled his auburn eyebrows just a touch to give his face more gravitas, and tapped on some cream blush to lend some help in case he couldn't muster up a flush of his own at the appropriate moments. A little lip tint, a final check of the position of his bowtie, and he was ready to go.
Despite his misgivings about the future he was heading into, he would not screw this up. In the name of romance and a best selling novel, he would do what had to be done.
Elliott had asked Clint to meet him at the Flower Dance, assuring him that if Elliott was fashionably late, it would draw more attention due to people wondering if Clint had been stood up. This would make the overall effect of Elliott presenting Clint with the bouquet later to be even more dramatic.
He had checked with Pierre the previous afternoon to make sure he would have bouquets on hand. The general store owner’s face had turned from shocked to giggly as Elliott let him in on the “secret” plan. Pierre loved a good secret, plus it started the gossip train well before the Dance actually started.When Elliott arrived at the dance later that morning, all eyes were on him as soon as he came around the corner. He stopped at Pierre’s stall first, hoping to turn away the stares for a moment.
“You have the flowers?” Elliott asked in a near whisper.
Pierre grinned broadly. “The best I’ve ever had, I think you’ll be pleased.”
“You are one in a million, Pierre,” Elliott winked.
“Do you want them now?” Pierre asked, reaching under the stall counter.
Elliott held his hands up, “no, no, definitely later. After the main dance and crowning the flower queen. I don’t want to steal Haley’s moment.”
“You think she’ll win again?”
“I think we’ll all have hell to pay if she doesn’t,” Elliott chuckled, “now if you’ll excuse me, I have a date to attend to.”
With that, he turned and fixed his gaze on Clint, who was standing on the western side of the grove, hands in his pockets, staring back at Elliott. This was it. Now if Clint could just find a less goofy facial expression to make, everything would be perfect. The goofy look in the smith’s eyes might be to Elliott’s advantage, though. He knew he looked stunning, so it was only fitting that his supposed beau would be properly gobsmacked.
Elliott glided through the middle of the grove, as if magnetically attracted to Clint. He could see people watching him through his peripheral vision, but he made sure that he didn’t take his eyes off Clint for even the tiniest moment.
“Hey there, cutie,” he said, extending his arms to pull Clint into a hug. Clint held on a little longer than Elliott anticipated, which was an impressive move.
“You look incredible,” Clint said, eyes darting all over Elliott’s face. Elliott’s stomach twisted a little because it sounded like Clint really meant it. He was getting better at this.
“It’s an important day,” Elliott said, lightly squeezing Clint’s upper arm, “I wanted to look extra nice for you.”
“It’s excellent,” he said, reaching up and pulling down lightly on one of Elliott’s curls, letting it spring back up. Elliott raised his eyebrows. What on earth was that? It was kind of sweet but also unexpected. “Sorry, couldn’t stop myself, is this what they call ‘beach waves’?”
Elliott couldn’t stop himself from cackling. “This is a little bit more put together than beach waves, but I love that you’re paying attention.”
“I’m not the only one,” he said, and Elliott watched as Clint’s eyes flicked over Elliott’s shoulder, “Haley looks like she’s about to explode.”
“She has nothing to worry about. People might not be getting out pitchforks for gay couples in this town, but I can’t picture anyone voting for a man for Flower Queen, even if he has incredible hair and a killer jawline,” Elliott said, flipping his hair over his shoulder and partly hoping Haley was watching, “plus, I think everyone agrees no one wants to weather the storm she would stir up if she lost. People know that voting for anyone else would doom the winner to at least a year of Haley’s unbridled rage.”
“Good point,” Clint said gruffly.
“Should we make the rounds?” Elliott asked, feeling antsy to greet people after his beeline entrance. He knew it wasn’t rude to go to his date first, but it felt weird just ignoring everyone else.
“You said we?” Clint balked, “Why can’t I just hang out here?”
“These people are all your friends,” Elliott insisted, “people want to talk to me, people want to talk to you, therefore they want to talk to us. So there. Now, put on a smile and let’s go.”
Clint rolled his eyes but followed as Elliott made his way to Evelyn nearby.
“Evelyn!” Elliott called, stooping down to give the old woman a hug, “the flowers look so stunning this year, I can tell you worked really hard on them!”
Evelyn blushed and play-swatted him away. “Thank you, I really did work hard. It’s nice to be appreciated.”
“Son, please stop flirting with my date,” came George’s voice as he rolled up. It was good to see him so happy. The Flower Dance used to make him miserable, but he had been one of Riley’s first close friends in the valley, and it seemed like as a result of that he had really come around to living life to its fullest.
“Yes, sir!” Elliott made a show of jumping away from Evelyn, and ensured that as he did so, he got close enough to Clint that putting his arm around Clint’s waist felt natural. He felt the muscle freeze that was becoming a classic Clint reaction, and prayed to Yoba that Clint’s face was at the very least not showing disgust. Any other reaction was fine, just not disgust.
George laughed at Elliott’s sudden move, and took hold of his wife’s hand. “She sure is a gem, certainly wouldn’t blame you for making your pass,” he patted the top of her hand with the hand that wasn’t already holding it.
“I would never want to mess with something so perfect,” Elliott said, “and it also wouldn’t be nice to my date.” He finally allowed himself a look at Clint’s face, finding it unreadable but not disgusted.
“As if I could compete with Evelyn. Unfortunately I can’t even fight for your honor, I think she would beat me up,” Clint joked. Elliott felt a burst of pride. His padawan was learning!
The four of them had a good, hearty laugh, and Evelyn excused herself to go tend to another pot of flowers, George following in her wake.
“You did good with that,” Elliott whispered, “Your banter has definitely improved.”
Clint just smiled, looking at the ground as he followed Elliott to meet up with Leah and Riley, who were holding hands and looking out over the river.
“Well hello, lovebirds,” Elliott said.
“Elliott!” Leah exclaimed, throwing herself at him for a hug.
“It’s good to see you! You haven’t been at the saloon in days.”
“That’s my fault,” said Riley, “we’ve become obsessed with picnics and have had one every night for the last few days.”
“Picnics, huh?” Clint said, and Elliott felt his eyes on him.
“Do you mean picnics, or,” Elliott eyed Leah and Riley meaningfully, “picnics?”
Leah turned bright red and Riley burst out laughing.
“Normal picnics, don’t worry,” Riley chuckled.
“At least at the beginning of the evening,” Leah said under her breath, and Riley sucked his lips in, looking sheepish.
Elliott snorted. “Spare me the sordid details, at least while we’re in public. But also, nice.”
“Actually, I want to hear more about these picnics, what kind of food do you make?” Clint asked, leaning into the conversation, “where do you go? Are ants a concern?”
Leah looked surprised, but responded, “well, we do different food every night. The first picnic we went on was traditional, sandwiches and cheese and wine. As we talked more about what we like, we got more creative. One night, Riley cooked all my favorite foods, and the next I cooked all of his. It was cute.”
“And the ant situation?” Clint pressed.
“Some ants, but if you’re careful it’s not a big issue,” Riley chimed in.
“That’s good to know. I HATE ants.”
Elliott was taken aback by how deadly serious Clint seemed about the ant situation. “Ants are pretty awful,” he offered, “When I first moved here I thought I would be all quaint and have a honey pot with the honey want just sitting inside of it, but of course the lids on those are pretty open. I came home from the library one day to find my whole kitchen overrun by ants. It was horrifying.”
Clint shuddered. “That sounds awful. I really, really, really hate ants.”
“You sound like me and termites,” Riley commented, “One time Robin found some while working on my barn and I tried to convince her to let me torch the building and start over.”
“I feel that way about earwigs,” sighed Leah, “We had rabbits when I was a kid and for some reason earwigs liked to hide in the gap of their hutch door. So disgusting.”
“Moths for me, honestly,” Elliott chimed in, “I grew up in kind of an arid area and for some reason that drove the moths inside like crazy. The worst was when I was reading at night and suddenly there would be frantic flapping and the smell of burning hair because a moth had found its way into my lampshade and too close to the lightbulb.”
The four sat there and processed their disgust for bugs for a beat, before having their horrors interrupted by Mayor Lewis.
“We’re going to start the main event now, everyone!” he called, standing in the center of the grove, “will our participating couples please come line up?”
“That’s us, see you in a minute,” Leah said, grabbing Riley’s hand and heading off toward the lineup that was forming.
For the first time since moving to Pelican Town, Elliott hung back to the side of the dance space. The line dance only had roles for six couples, and Leah had always been his partner until this year. Figuring that Riley would be more excited about the idea of dancing in front of people than Clint would, Elliott had agreed to sit this one out.
Once everyone was lined up, the music started. Elliott’s heart fluttered watching all the dancers working their hardest to put on a good show. Even grumpy Shane and shy Penny were giving it their all, dancing with Emily and Sam, respectively. Elliott looked at Clint, and saw him fixed on the dancers. Predictably, his sight line went directly to Emily. She did look gorgeous today. She rarely styled her hair outside of her normal spiky bob, but today it was curled in luscious waves reminiscent of Elliott’s own, and her pink and white dress was expertly tailored to emphasize her curves, which was brought into contrast as she danced next to her sister, whose dress looked more the Barbie cake Elliott had begged his mom to make for his seventh birthday. Not in a bad way, of course, Haley looked radiant in everything and this gown made her look like a fairy queen.
Elliott was struck with the fear that Clint would get distracted by Emily and forget what they were doing. He bit the inside of his cheek, making the decision to accelerate his timeline by just a tiny bit. He took a deep breath, in through his nose, out through his mouth, trying to settle his suddenly-pounding heart. He counted down in his head, ‘three, two, one, GO’ and laced his fingers with Clint’s.
To Elliott’s shock, Clint didn’t freeze up for once. He just squeezed Elliott’s hand, prompting a squeeze in return, as they continued to watch the dancers.
Clint’s hand was huge and rough. Elliott could feel the smith’s hard calluses pressing into his own hand, where the only callous was on the last knuckle of his right ring finger, which was where he stabilized his pencil when he wrote by hand. It was kind of comforting to hold hands with someone who did hard, manual labor. Hands weren’t a place most people built muscle intentionally, so it was always the mark of someone who really worked.
Aside from the feeling of Clint’s hands themselves, Elliott noticed that he didn’t feel uncomfortable or even grossed out as he had kind of expected to be. It was actually kind of nice. It occurred to Elliott that he might be more touch starved than he had thought.
The next few minutes seemed like they lasted forever to Elliott. He may not have been uncomfortable, but he was nervous. Once the flower queen votes were in, he had to drive home the day’s plans.
As the final notes of the song played, he let himself look at Clint again. He had not anticipated how difficult it would be to be in social situations where had to stand next to the man instead of across from him. He felt a need to constantly monitor Clint’s facial expressions, which he figured probably wasn’t healthy.
When he checked, Clint caught his gaze and smiled back passively, before giving Elliott a wink. Elliott had to fight to keep his jaw shut. Where was Clint coming up with this stuff? It felt like he had suddenly gotten all these lines and moves overnight.
At a loss for a reply to the wink, Elliott simply gripped Clint’s hand tighter and gave him a light shove with his shoulder. Clint returned the gesture.
“I guess we should go get in our votes,” Elliott finally got out.
“Guess so,” came Clint’s reply, and they headed toward the table where food had momentarily been pushed to the side to make way for a large box decorated with paper flowers, ringed by pens and scraps of paper.Half an hour later, Haley was crying happy tears with a ring of daisies on her head. Elliott couldn’t remember how many years in a row she had been crowned. Certainly every year since he moved there, but the number of years before that eluded him.
Honestly, he didn’t think much of the award. It had never been fully explained to him what it was supposed to mean. He knew Evelyn had won once, but not much beyond that.
All thoughts of the Flower Queen were on a back burner, though, because Elliott was trying to teach Clint how to slow dance.
Elliott would have never assumed Clint was very graceful, but it was worse than he could have imagined. Even a simple, high school prom-style, rock-back-and-forth-one-foot-to-another dance was proving to be difficult. Clint had no rhythm, and neither of them had small feet, so toe stepping was just inevitable. To make matters worse, Elliott was trying to lead, but Clint kept switching his hands to leading position, making it worse.
“This reminds me of being in middle school,” Clint giggled after stepping on Elliott’s foot for maybe the dozenth time.
“Gosh I’m glad you’re in the mood to make this funny and silly,” Elliott said, throwing his head back in relief, “I was trying so hard to be serious so you didn’t feel bad about yourself.”
“I appreciate the thought,” Clint said, still giggling, “but I’ve never had good coordination and trying to pretend otherwise is just not going to get us anywhere.”
“We can just pretend we’re at a middle school dance,” Elliott said, “except this time we don’t have to worry about people yelling us that we’re a couple of faggots.”
“Except maybe Abigail or Sebastian, but I feel like that would just be them cheering us on,” Clint joked.
“You seem comfortable with that term,” Elliot noted.
“Well, I got called that a lot when I was younger because I was always so awkward and constantly struck out with girls. When I got older, I turned it around and weaponized it against other people because I was hurt. Now, I’m slow dancing with the prettiest man I’ve ever seen, so I guess I get to reclaim it for real now. Isn’t that how that works?”
Elliott shrugged, “honestly, I have no idea. I was one of those kids that leaned into it and then stole everyone’s girlfriend when they were mean to me. Eventually people just cut it out and now I use it as a term of endearment, so I guess you get to do the same.”
“Weird how that works.”
“It is, but remember we’re at a middle school dance, so discussions about identity and reclamation of slurs is above our brain development,” Elliott reminded Clint, “back to basics. What color is your toothbrush?”
“My toothbrush?” Clint laughed, “that’s so out of the blue.”
“For some reason people always asked that at church dances when I was a teenager, I could never figure out why, but it’s an icebreaker for the truly desperate.”
“Well, in that case, I think mine is white and has my dentist’s name and phone number stamped into it.”
“The true sign of a grown man, using the free toothbrushes they give you.”
“I always ask for an extra so I can swap every three months and never have to buy one,” Clint said, “how’s that for mature?”
“Oh, be still my heart!” Elliott said, putting his hand to his head and pretending like he was going to faint.
He and Clint dissolved into giggles, drawing attention from Penny and Sam, who were dancing nearby, looking as awkward as Elliott and Clint were, but visibly having less fun.
Elliott took a step back from Clint once he recovered. “I’ll be right back, don’t let anyone steal you while I’m gone.”
Clint saluted, cheeks red and tears in his eyes from laughing.
Elliott hustled to Pierre’s booth, where the shopkeeper and his wife, Caroline, danced in the tiny space behind the counter. Caroline saw him first.
“What can I get for you?” She asked, elbows on the counter and eyes dreamy. She was visibly drunk. Good for her.
“I’m looking for something your husband has waiting for me,” Elliott replied.
“You hear that, sweetie? He’s looking for something you’ve got waiting for him!” Caroline said in a loud whisper.
Pierre laughed and lightly pushed her out of the way so he could grab the goods from beneath the counter. “Like I said, the best I’ve ever gotten in stock,”
Elliott clapped his hands together when he saw the bouquet, a stunning mix of purple, red, and blue flowers in the prime of their beauty. It was perfect. “You’re a master of flower arranging, Pierre. I don’t have money on me at the moment but I’ll bring you a tip for your work tomorrow, what I paid does not reflect your efforts or talents.”
Pierre beamed. “Anything for a friend.”
Elliott took the bouquet and turned, looking across the dance square to Clint, who was trying pointedly not to look at him.
As he crossed toward the man who was about to become his fake boyfriend, Elliott felt people noticing him. A few couples even fully stopped dancing to watch.
Elliott drew closer to Clint, and the smith finally looked at him. Elliott was struck at how much he was actually impacted by the situation. He was living this fairy tale he had cooked up, and he knew it was inspiring the people around him. Clint as a person aside, Elliott was cooking up a dream, and it was glorious.
“Hey, Clint,” he said, coming to a stop and holding the bouquet low in both hands.
“Hey, Elliott,” Clint responded, taking a step forward.
“I got these flowers for you. I hope you know what I’m asking.”
“I do, but I want to hear you ask anyway.”
‘Damn he’s smooth today,’ Elliott thought.
“Well then, I want to get more serious with you. Would you be my boyfriend?” He held the bouquet out, the question hanging dramatically in the air. This was what he lived for.
“I accept, I would be thrilled to be your boyfriend,” Clint said, taking the bouquet in one hand and Elliott’s hand in the other, pulling him in for a hug.
Again surprised, Elliott returned the hug, and turned his head slightly to whisper in Clint’s ear. “Where did you get all the charisma from? You’ve been outdoing me tonight and it’s weird.”
“I binge read Camellia Station this weekend and took notes. I spent all last night practicing.”
“Ahh, that’s why I thought you sounded so good, I’m just hearing my own words.”
“You said it.”
Clint released Elliott from the hug, and Elliott noticed that people were quickly turning and trying to appear as if they hadn’t been watching. It was obvious, though, that everyone had seen it.
Here they were. There was no turning back now.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Spring 25Elliott lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. The events of the day before seemed unreal. He had a boyfriend, as far as anybody knew. A boyfriend who read Elliott’s books. Or at least one book. That wasn’t entirely clear. He only had three, and they weren’t exactly the most dense novels on the market, so it was possible he had read more than just Camellia Station.Elliott felt somewhat exposed. When writing, he showed the way his brain worked, how he thought about things. While he hoped that people read his work, it was always a little vulnerable to know that people he actually knew in real life were reading his writing. It felt like they were seeing him naked, but somehow worse. For someone who had a lot of opinions about intimacy with other people, he sure did let a lot of strangers learn about his inner workings.Vulnerability aside, it was kind of sweet that Clint had done the reading and the work associated with it of his own volition, without Elliott even suggesting it. It meant Clint really believed in Elliott’s expertise, and was willing to take on those thoughts and ideas immediately. It felt weird to think of Clint as being sweet, but that was the truth. It was nice, it felt good.Feeling the rumble of hunger nudging him to rise, Elliott swung his feet to the ground and put on his slippers. He needed to make his way to Clint’s shop soon anyway so they could plan out their dinner conversations.As he was putting his bowl of instant oatmeal into the microwave, someone pounded on the door. He sighed and made his way over. It wasn’t Leah’s insistent rapping, so there was really only one person it could be.He opened the door to find Clint standing there, as expected.“You oka-”“Emily’s birthday is Saturday!” Clint blustered before Elliott could get his question out.Elliott blinked slowly. It was too early for this.“Come in,” he said, sighing a little and trying to rub the sleep from his eyes a little more effectively.Clint was fidgety as he entered the cabin, which was not the energy Elliott appreciated first thing in the morning. He went back to the microwave and punched in the time for his oatmeal, gesturing for Clint to sit at the small dining table which was largely covered in books that Elliott was reading or annotating, most bearing telltale splatters and spots indicating he often read while eating, and paid more attention to the book than where his mouth was in relation to his food.“Have you eaten yet?” Elliott asked, fluffing his hair in case it was stuck to one side of his head.Clint shook his head, “I realized her birthday was coming up as soon as I woke up this morning, and since then my stomach hasn’t been settled.”“Well, you’re going to eat some oatmeal then,” Elliott said, pulling out another bowl and packet of instant oats.“Sure, but what are we going to do? What am I going to do? How do we navigate this?”“Firstly, I need you to pull yourself out of this spiral,” Elliott said flatly.Clint huffed.“Don’t give me that,” Elliott snapped, “I’m mean in the mornings, especially when you come in here with that intensity. It is too early for the attitude,” he shook the spoon he used to stir up the cold oatmeal at Clint, hoping that a spatter of milk might make its way to Clint’s face.“Well damn, fine,” Clint crossed his arms and settled further down into the chair.A few moments of silence passed before the microwave beeped. Elliott swapped the now-hot bowl with the cold one he had just mixed up, giving the warm bowl another stir and setting it on the table in front of Clint. “Eat.”Clint did as instructed, eating the tiniest spoonfuls at a time.Once Elliott had his own bowl finished, he sat across the table from Clint.“Okay, now let’s talk,” Elliott said, scraping the sides of the bowl down into the larger mass of oats, “What about Emily’s birthday is such a huge issue?”“Mostly it’s the gift aspect,” Clint was perched on the edge of his seat again. This was going to be a long morning, “Now that we don’t want her to think I’m actively trying to win her heart, I can’t get her a huge gift, but given that I am actually still actively trying even harder to win her heart than normal, I still need to get her something really impressive, but that doesn’t look weird given that I have a boyfriend.”“So we do a gift from both of us, obviously,” Elliott said around a spoonful of oats.“You say that like it’s a no-brainer, but it’s not like we’ve been dating for a long time to have it planned.”Elliott shrugged, “I’m the guy who makes fairy tales happen, I’m sure she expects nothing less from me.”Clint rolled his eyes. “Okay fairy godmother, that still doesn’t help with what to actually get her.”Elliott smiled for the first time that morning. “Fear not, Cinderella. Do you need to be at the shop today or can you get free?”Clint furrowed his brow. “I guess I could take the day off, Riley might get annoyed if he shows up to split geodes, but he’ll live. Why?”“Well, Clinterella, I’m going to take you on a trip in my pumpkin carriage to Zuzu City, and we will go shopping for some fancy fabrics that Emily will be thrilled to get her hands on.”Clint’s eyes widened, “and when she’s sewing-”“She’ll have to think about us the whole time,” Elliot said, leaning back in his chair with his bowl, feeling smug.“I don’t know why I’ve never thought of that.”“Because you are still a romantic in training, while I am a romantic mastermind.”“Whatever you say, senpai.”Elliott choked on his oatmeal. “Senpai is too much,” he choked, laughing through the cough, “too much.”
Spring 28Emily flopped down onto the couch as the sun rose. She had been drawing patterns and cutting fabric all night long. Somewhere around 2am she had lost count of how many coffees and leftover pinwheel sandwiches she had consumed to stay awake and control her jitters. After her modest birthday celebration at the saloon the night before, she had asked Gus if she could get off work a little early, and rushed home to start working with the absolutely stunning fabric that Elliott and Clint had gifted her.With wealthy parents, Emily was not a stranger to luxury, but she tried to live within the salary that she made at the saloon, not relying on her parents to pay her credit card bills like Haley did. This fabric was the pinnacle of luxury, and it felt all the more special for both her current situation as well as having been given it by such good friends.When she had opened the bolts of fabric, Elliott had explained that when he saw it, he knew that it was made for her, and she had almost cried. It was the most glorious silk blend, a heartbreaking midnight blue with the most perfect smattering of starry crystals, arranged to mimic the flow of a galaxy in motion. As soon as she saw it, she knew exactly what kind of gown it wanted to become. It spoke to her in the way that textiles sometimes did, whispering the secrets of what drape would best bring out their unique beauty.Over the years, Emily had come to anticipate that Clint would give her expensive items, designed to win her over with their luxury as well as the implied stability of a relationship with a man who worked a forge. She had also come to anticipate exceptionally thoughtful gifts from Elliott, usually inexpensive, but showing a great deal of consideration for what she wanted or needed at the time. Together, it was a combination that brought her to the edge of tears multiple times throughout the long night of working hard on the initial steps of this sewing project.Now, however, in the cold light of the rising sun, Emily started to actually think about the implications. She hadn’t been surprised that Clint and Elliott had gone in together on a gift for her, but they had only been officially dating for a few days, so the more she mulled it over, the more it seemed like a statement issued from the two of them.Were they trying to indicate that Elliott wasn’t jealous that his new boyfriend had spent years obsessed with her? Was it a signal that Clint still liked her, or an attempt to show her that there were no hard feelings? It was patently confusing. The only clear thing is that she needed sleep.She was half dozed off in the admittedly not very comfortable position in which she’d landed when she was awoken by Haley’s bedroom door opening.“The hell are you doing?” Haley muttered in her direction, one eye open and hair stuck to one side of her head.“I was up all night doing sewing prep,” Emily yawned. “I would have probably started sewing but I didn’t want to wake you up.”“You’re fucking crazy,” Haley said, wiping a crust out of her open eye.“What are you doing up this early?”“Going pee like a normal person.”“Have fun.”Haley sneered, but hobbled to the bathroom anyway.When she came back, Haley came around to the couch and flopped down, sitting on Emily’s feet.“Ugh, your butt is so bony,” Emily moaned, yanking her feet out and putting them in Haley’s lap.“And here I thought the squats were working,” Haley sighed. “Why haven’t you gone to bed yet? You’re falling asleep anyway.”“I guess I wanted to ask your opinion,” Emily said, trying to put words together carefully in her sleepy stupor.“6am bitch mode Haley at your service.”“Good, that’s exactly who I need.”“Go for it then.”“Why did Elliott and Clint get me such an amazing birthday present?”Haley twisted up her lips, looking back over her shoulder at the panels of fabric pinned on Emily’s dress form.“Because they want you to make a midnight queen dress for your sister.”“Oh fuck off,” Emily said, rolling onto her back and shoving Haley’s thigh with her foot.“No, I don’t know. If I had to guess, I would say that Elliott is really kind and decided you would love some beautiful fabric, and now that he can go in with Clint’s blacksmith money he can get you actual bougie stuff.”“You think it’s as simple as that?”“Well, I would also imagine that they want to show everyone a united front on your birthday in particular, considering that they now have to convince the whole town, especially you, that Clint just did a 180 from being obsessed with you and only you for years to hopping in bed with the 1890s ‘third son of a duke’ wannabe who lives on the beach.”“Harsh,” Emily said, taken aback by the dig at Elliott’s eccentricity, “but a shockingly accurate description.”“I will agree, it smells funny. Maybe not in a sinister way, but there are definitely a lot of feelings going on all at once that feed the situation.” Haley mused.“You know, if you weren’t so lazy you’d make a great sociologist or therapist.”Haley snorted. “You couldn’t pay me enough to listen to people whine about their problems day in and day out. I would just doodle with my headphones on while they talk and then point at a needlework embroidery on the wall that says ‘If it sucks, hit da bricks’ and then charge them $200 for the pleasure.”Emily burst out laughing at “hit da bricks”. “I don’t know, I think that might be effective for some people.”“Anyway, I don’t know what’s going on with those two. But I’ll tell you what. You go get some sleep, I’ll go out and do some recon and see what people are saying, and by the time you wake up I’ll have some more information or a better perspective for you.”Emily propped herself up on her elbows. “You’d do that for me?”“My gossip well is dry anyway. Now GO TO BED,” Haley shouted, pushing Emily’s feet off her lap and onto the floor.When Emily got home from work that night after sleeping most of the day away, Haley was waiting for her. Her sister was perched on the couch, wearing a silky pink nightgown with a dramatic gauzy robe that had pink feathers adorning the cuffs of the gigantic sleeves.“What occasion calls for the ‘police have just come to tell me that my husband has been murdered even though I’m the one who put a hit out on him’ fit?” She asked, eyebrows raised.Haley grinned. “Because I’m here to deliver you some awful news about the man who thought he was going to be your husband, of course.” She patted the couch next to her excitedly.“You seem way too giddy about this, I’m going to be so real.”“I am, because I have no idea how you’re going to take this.”“Well,” Emily sighed, sitting down with her back to the arm of the couch and her legs pulled to her chest, “get it over with, then.”Haley took a deep breath. “So.” She stared at Emily.Emily blinked a few times. “So?”“How do you feel about the idea that he might actually be over you?”“Amazing, now get on with it.”“But do you really feel amazing about it? Like, really really?”“I’m going to go insane listening to this, aren’t I?” Emily rolled her head back and closed her eyes, trying to contain her annoyance.“You were the one who told me I would be a great therapist!” Haley shot back.“Compliment rescinded if this is what it gets me.”“Fine. So here’s what happened today. I talked to Alex first.”“Shocker.”“He’s always outside practicing gridball, so I figured he might have seen Clint and Elliott walking back and forth to each other’s houses and the saloon and whatnot.”“I’m sure there were no ulterior motives there at all.”“Emily, shush, we’re just friends,” Haley said, and Emily felt frustrated with herself for giving her a distraction from her story, “Plus he’s kind of seeing someone right now, so that’s really not an issue.”“You can fill me in on that later.” Emily was curious who on earth Alex could be dating that she didn’t know about.“It’s a secret for now, but when relevant, sure. Anyway, he said he sees them meeting up at the saloon almost every night, which you’re well aware of, but he’s also seen them going together back to one of their houses afterwards every evening.”“Every evening?” Emily said, now very interested.“Every single evening that he’s been out there. Usually it looks like they head to Elliott’s cabin, but they’ve gone to Clint’s shop a few times too.”“And Alex just creeps on them doing this every night?”“He’s usually out playing with Dusty that time of evening,” Haley explained.“Okay, so they’re hanging out even after the saloon. So it’s not strictly for my benefit that they’re sitting together.”“Correct. So then I went and talked to Pierre. I know he was the one who sold Elliott the flowers, and they were nicer than his normal bouquet stock, so I figured he must have had advance notice that this was happening.”“Forget therapist, you could be a detective,” Emily commented.“First of all, ACAB, and don’t you forget it” Haley said, pointing a manicured finger at Emily, her feathery sleeve catching the air with the gesture.Emily rolled her eyes. “Continue.”“So I asked Pierre what the deal was with the flowers, pretending like I wanted to buy some just for myself. He said he always had a stock, but super nice ones like what Elliott got needed to be pre ordered so he could get together all the prettiest blooms and arrange them really well. I asked how early Elliott had put in the order, and he said last Friday, a whole five days before the actual dance.”“That’s almost a week!” Emily gasped. “That’s before Clint even asked him to the dance!”“Exactly. So either Elliott was really prepared, OR, he knew Clint was going to ask him.”“Or he was planning on asking Clint himself, but got beat to the punch.”“That’s what I assumed, so I decided I needed to get closer to the situation.”“Oh?”“Oh yes. Thankfully, Riley happened to be in buying seeds when I went to see Pierre.”“That guy is everywhere, isn’t he?”“Exactly. So not only does he have his finger on the pulse of the town, but he’s also been dating Leah,”“Who is Elliott’s best friend,” Emily finished. Now they were getting to the good stuff.“Riley was so excited to talk about it,” Haley said, leaning in. “He said he was skeptical at first, because heaven knows he mediated a lot of the weirdness between you and Clint there for a while.”Emily cringed. Who could forget all the times Riley had come to see her with a gift, only to let her know it was actually from Clint. She knew Clint had been paying him to do it at a time when the farmer was just getting started out and needed the money, but it had made things weird between them for a while.“He says though that the more he hangs out with the two of them, usually with Leah as well, the more he thinks it’s the real thing.”Emily pursed her lips.“Like, he really thinks they’re good together. He said he’s never seen Clint look that comfortable around someone, and they flirt like crazy,” Haley continued, “Like, sometimes Clint even comes up with better romantic one-liners than Elliott does, which is really saying something. Obviously he’s not as naturally poetic, so you notice it more, but Riley thinks they have actual good chemistry.”“That is unbelievably weird to hear,” Emily said slowly. “I guess I noticed that he seemed pretty comfy when they’re getting dinner together, but I thought it was just because Clint saw Elliott as a buddy and didn’t feel pressured to put on an act. He’s even said some wildly misogynistic things without seeming like he was second guessing himself, which is odd because usually he seems to keep that pretty locked down when he’s talking to me.”“Ugh, locker room talk,” Haley commiserated.“I mean yeah, and I thought it was weird that Elliott was putting up with it, because he’s so not that way, but then I noticed that he was actually subtly correcting Clint when he said something weird. Like really gently most of the time, so he doesn’t feel called out, but knows he said something fucked up.”“He needs it, I’m glad.”“Maybe Riley is right, maybe they are good for each other,” Emily said, “but that doesn’t help me understand what Elliott sees in Clint.”“Maybe he’s in it for the money?” Haley said, shrugging.“Maybe a few years ago I would think that, but Elliott isn’t exactly a starving artist anymore now that he’s published a few books. I don’t think there would be that huge of a discrepancy between their earnings.”“Ah but remember how Clint sells custom swords and replicas online,” Haley said, “That brings in crazy money if you get the attention of the right people.”Emily rocked her head back and forth, trying to process through the idea.“I know Elliott is vain, but he doesn’t seem like a gold digger,” she finally responded.“Then we are left with the last possibility, which Riley and a few other people I talked to all agreed on-”“How many people did you interrogate about this?” Emily said, suddenly nervous.“Enough, and don’t worry, I was very subtle. But I think Elliott might just genuinely like Clint. Maybe it’s the daddy bear vibes, maybe he finds the awkwardness endearing, maybe they just click, I don’t know. It just seems like people tend to agree that they really like each other, and they’re having a lot of fun.”Emily sat silently, pondering the idea of Clint being fun in a relationship.“Do you think I messed up by not giving him a chance?” Emily asked, her voice tinier than she intended.“Which one?” Haley deadpanned.Emily rolled her eyes. “Clint, obviously.”“I don’t know. Do you feel like you did?”“I don’t think so. I didn’t feel this way until I saw him with someone else, but it doesn’t make sense to be jealous.”“HA!” Haley burst out, sitting up straighter and putting her hands on Emily’s knees, “You admit you’re jealous!”“Um, no,” Emily said, dropping her legs into crossed position, “I said it doesn’t make sense to be jealous, pay attention.”“Maybe you’re not jealous of dating Clint, per se, but I think you might be jealous of the attention,” Haley mused, tapping Emily on the nose on the word “attention”.“I never liked the attention, though!” Emily said, swatting her sister’s hand away, “I went out of my way to avoid his attention pretty often!”“Sometimes we don’t know what we have until we lose it,” Haley said, sitting back and attempting to cross her own legs before realizing her dress was too narrow and just draping them off the couch, “and you seem to have lost Clint’s eye. So what now?”Emily sighed. “I’m going to go work on my dress and try to forget how silly you are.”“Fine by me,” Haley said, getting up and sweeping away toward her room, “but promise me you’ll go to bed before sunrise tonight.”“I promise no such thing,” Emily responded, still planted on the couch.“Goodnight, Tinkerbell,” Haley called as the door closed.Emily humphed and stretched her legs out on the couch. Tinkerbell, huh? Was Haley implying that Emily was going to die if people stopped paying attention to her? That was Haley’s schtick, not Emily’s. Emily didn’t need attention to be happy, and she certainly didn’t need Clint to have an unrequited crush on her in order to feel valid.
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Summer 1Clint and Elliott sat on a white and red checkered picnic blanket in the warm evening air, a plate of sandwiches, a couple bottles of sparkling cider, and a calendar between them.Clint sat back, resting on his hands, watching Elliott stare into the middle distance, his hair pulled back into a messy bun against the wind.The silence between the two was comfortable, which surprised Clint. He didn’t feel the need to fill the space between conversations with idle chatter, at least not right now. After a few weeks of spending time with Elliott almost every day, it finally felt okay for them to just exist near each other.A buzzing noise broke through Clint’s pondering, and he refocused his eyes to see a bee flying around over top of the dinner. Elliott must have heard it as well, because he turned to look, smiling at the bumblebee as it looked for a place to land.Clint watched as Elliott gingerly reached for one of the bottles of cider, pouring a little bit onto one of the small, floral plates he had brought from home. He held the plate out under where the bee was flying, and the insect landed on the plate, going straight for the cider. Elliott, looking proud of himself, set the plate in the grass off the side of the blanket.“I wonder if the carbonation bothers bees,” Clint wondered aloud.“If it does, it doesn’t seem to override the crazy amount of sugar,” Elliott pointed out, “all the honey in the world can’t compete with high fructose corn syrup.”“The more fake, the sweeter it gets,” Clint said, still staring at the bee.“I hope you don’t think that’s what’s going on here,” Elliott said, which startled Clint, who cast his eyes around to be sure no one was there to overhear.“Careful with that,” he chastised, “and besides, it is kind of true for us, isn’t it?”“Who’s to say that I wouldn’t be even sweeter if we were together for real?” Elliott said, winking.Clint sat forward, not wanting to think about it too deeply. “I guess we should get going on this calendar, then.”“I suppose we shall.” Elliott swung his legs out from beneath himself and laid down on his stomach, propping himself up on his elbows so he could write on the calendar. “First big event is the Luau, next Wednesday. How do we want to go about that?”“I think we should bring an ingredient for the soup as a couple,” Clint said, “unless you have a combination of things that you think would be a good idea.”“No, I like the idea of just doing one thing. We’ve already been presenting as a united front for things, so no reason to stop now. I can ask Riley if he’ll set aside some of his best produce for us to pick from,” Elliott said, marking down the 11th for the celebration.“I’m glad we don’t do a traditional Luau,” Clint said, thinking of the photos he had seen of beautiful islanders, the women in bandeaus, the men shirtless, “I don’t think I could show up if I was expected to go shirtless. I’d have to make up an excuse every year, and that would be awful because the big soup is one of my favorite things.”“It’s a good one,” Elliott agreed, “they usually start the pork cooking a day or so ahead of time so my whole house smells amazing while it's cooking. By the time we get to the actual party I’m absolutely dying to stuff my face. It’s torture but kind of in a good way.”“Torture sounds like the right word for it.”There was a pause.“Can I ask you something?” Elliott ventured, looking up at Clint.Clint’s stomach flipped. That question was rarely followed by a comfortable conversation.“Go for it,” he replied, grimacing.“Are you really quite uncomfortable with your body image? I ask because you seem fairly confident in how you look, especially now, so it surprises me to hear that you’d be so aggressively averse to going shirtless that you would skip your favorite event of the year?” Elliott said the words so gently, but they hit hard nonetheless.“I mean, yeah, I guess I am pretty insecure about my body,” Clint responded. He could feel his cheeks getting hot, and not in a cute or demure way but in a truly ashamed way. “I know I’m technically pretty built under all the chub, but it gets in the way of feeling good about myself.” He really did feel a lot of shame as he said the words.“I mean, obviously I can’t change your relationship with your own body,” Elliott said softly, “and I know it doesn’t mean a lot coming from a guy that you’re,” he dropped to a whisper, “only fake dating,” and then returning to normal volume, “but I genuinely think you’re great looking. I’ve never been blessed to see you shirtless, obviously, but I know you have crazy arms and shoulders from smithing, and you could definitely stand to show that off more if you wanted.”Clint smiled. It was nice that Elliott thought he was helping, but one person’s good opinion wasn’t going to erase a lifetime of negativity. “You’re not wrong about my arms, I guess, but my core definitely needs work, just strength wise, even.”“You know, I’ve been meaning to get back into yoga,” Elliott offered, “if you want, we could be yoga buddies and work on it together every morning. The beach at sunrise is the most perfect place to start the day.”Clint considered. Doing yoga in front of another person sounded absolutely horrifying, but this was the year of trying to improve himself. “We can try it out,” he agreed, “but if I hate it you can’t try and guilt trip me.”Elliott grinned. “I would never do such a thing,” and weirdly, Clint believed him.“Alright, beach yoga, starting tomorrow, it’s a date,” Clint confirmed, delighting in the way Elliott’s eyes lit up when he said “date”.“Okay, so summer yoga dates and Luau are sorted for now, and then what about the Trout Derby?” Elliott said, chewing on the eraser of his pencil.“The Trout Derby?” Clint asked, “I mean, I’ve never gone. Is it fun?”“I’ll be honest, I’m kind of terrible at fishing, but I always like to give it my best try,” Elliott replied, “Plus, it’s kind of Willy’s thing so I like to go to support him.”“Trout Derby it is then,” Clint said, laying on his back.“There will be people there from outside the valley, just so you know, and some of them are a little bit weird.”“Tempt me, tempt me,” Clint deadpanned, “You really must stop, I can only get so excited over a fishing festival.”Elliott snorted. “Your enthusiasm is noted. I’ll put an extra star on that day on the calendar so I remember how much you’re looking forward to it.”“So glad to have a boyfriend who understands my innermost desires,” Clint returned.“There’s a dirty joke in there somewhere but I’m too much of a gentleman to make it,” Elliott sniffed.“Sure you are. Anyway, continue,” Clint tried to sound casual about it, but he hoped Elliott would go for the change in subject. Comfortable as he was with the man, he wasn’t in a place where he wanted to be tossing around innuendo. It might be a while until he felt like he could talk openly about sex with anyone, even if he was supposed to be dating them.“The only other big thing this month is the Dance of the Moonlight Jellies,” Elliott said, much to Clint’s relief, “In my mind, I’m hoping we might get lucky and you can actually take Emily to that.”Clint sat up with a jerk, heart suddenly pounding. “You really think we can get there by the end of the summer?”“I mean, if we play our cards right. It would be fast, but I can tell she’s thinking about us when we go to the saloon for dinner. She watches us more than normal.”“That could just be because we’re usually the only active conversation going on most nights,” Clint considered, “so it’s the only thing to really pay attention to.”“That’s possible, but I choose to believe that she’s just seething with conflicted emotions that will soon crystalize into jealous determination to snatch the man of her dreams away from his new paramour,” Elliott said with a flip of his hair.“You are delusional, but very entertaining,” Clint jabbed, “and also very nice to look at.”“Your complimenting is getting better,” Elliott told him, “but keep working on it.”“You make it easy,” Clint teased, “everything about you is so easy to compliment.”Elliott batted his eyelashes at Clint, and Clint attempted to bat his lashes right back, which felt weird and resulted in Elliott rolling to the side in a fit of giggles.“We’ll work on that one in front of a mirror sometime,” he said when he came up for air, wiping a tear from his eye, “but you have the right spirit.”“I’m working on it, I promise.”“I think it’s going well. I’ve had a few people tell me they think we make a cute couple, and I think that mainly comes from all the flirting we do.”Clint felt a swelling of pride. He had been working so hard on flirting without coming off as weird or awkward, so it felt really good to hear that.“I think as long as we keep doing what we’re doing, we will probably be okay to keep meeting people’s expectations. We just need to progress the flirting with some inside jokes, a heightened vulnerability with each other to showcase emotional intimacy to other people, and we should probably try to make more intentional physical contact,” Elliott said, counting the different categories on his fingers.Clint frowned. The physical contact part made him anxious. “I guess we haven’t held hands since the Flower Dance, have we?”Elliott shook his head in confirmation. “We can keep taking it really slowly, but it would probably drive Emily nuts to see us touching each other more. Even just holding hands on the table when we meet up for dinner would be a good idea.”He was right. It just made Clint feel all weird inside. At the dance, he knew he had put on a good show when Elliott had grabbed his hand for the first time. He had been expecting it, and he had also really been in the zone that day. What he hadn’t anticipated was how nice it was to hold hands with someone, and how good it made him feel. That made him nervous, because he wasn’t supposed to actually like holding hands with Elliott. Good looking and kind as the guy might be, he wasn’t the one for Clint.“No, you’re right. I’ll work on it. You just might have to be the one who initiates that for a while, because it doesn’t come naturally to me,” Clint said, trying to sound casual about it.“I can absolutely do that,” Elliott assured him, “it’s not like we have to kiss, people won’t expect us to be doing that in public, so it’s not like anything will get too intense.”Clint’s stomach lurched. He hadn’t thought much about the idea of having to kiss Elliott at any point. He had imagined kissing Emily hundreds, maybe thousands of times, and replacing the image of her in his head with anyone else in those scenarios felt weird and kind of wrong.“You okay?” Elliott’s voice broke through Clint’s horror.“Uh, yeah, just got distracted.”“By me bringing up kissing?”“Maybe, but whatever. I agree, no one expects public kissing.”At that moment, Clint noticed a blonde, beach waved head bob into the forest. Haley. She had just shown up as they were talking about kissing. A thrill of panic raced through Clint’s veins, but he knew there was a chance to make this work for him.“Doesn’t mean we can’t keep making out in private, though,” he said, thinking how awkward it must sound coming out of his mouth.Elliott’s brow furrowed for the smallest, moment, but he must have decided to play ball for whatever reason. “Are you kidding? As if I can keep my hands off of you when we’re alone.”Clint blushed, and he really hoped it was a cute blush. Haley had definitely noticed them. Even in the fading light, he could see her big eyes widen massively and her pace quicken.“With lips like those you won’t hear me complaining,” Clint replied, feeling sweat start to form on his temples.“Darling, you are too sweet to me,” Elliott said back, holding his hand out to Clint.Clint took Elliott’s hand, nervous but determined, and held it tight on the picnic blanket. He was sure his hands were sweaty, too, but Elliott’s firm, calm grip was reassuring.“You really make me feel calm,” Clint admitted to him, figuring if he was going to flirt for Haley’s sake, he may as well say something true, “I feel like even when I’m the most nervous, I can depend on you.”“You know,” Elliott said slowly, “I was debating actually saying this, but I think you need to hear it.”Clint steeled himself, sure that he was about to be eviscerated.“I need you to know that no matter what happens in the next few months, no matter what changes or stays the same, I will be your rock when you need one. It makes me feel so glad that you’re starting to understand that, and I hope you’re willing to trust how deeply I mean those words.”Clint was speechless, like the wind had been knocked out of him. He sat there, looking into Elliott’s eyes. There was a fire in there, one he had seen before when Elliott was talking about his writing or his future goals or his shockingly intense passion for Thai food. He was really serious about this, beyond just this book he was writing. Clint wasn’t sure anyone had ever cared about him like this before, and it felt like standing at the edge of a cliff and being wrapped in a warm blanket all at once.“Thank you,” he finally squeaked out.Elliott’s eyes flicked over Clint’s shoulder, where he must have spied Haley speed walking through the forest towards town.“Ahh, I see,” Elliott said, a glimmer in his eye, “I think we nailed it.”Clint smiled, nodding, “yeah, I think we did.”
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Summer 5On the fourth morning of teaching Clint yoga, Elliott felt like he was visibly radiant. Getting back to exercising was strengthening his core, making him stand up straighter, and helping with his focus. Clint, on the other hand, looked like a mess.Elliott was giving himself a migraine due to how often he had to tense all his facial muscles to keep from exploding in laughter every time Clint abruptly tipped over. He wasn’t great at catching himself as he was about to fall, but Elliott had to admit he was incredibly committed to going for each one of the poses with as much determination and vigor as he could manage, as if willpower alone would turn him into a yogi that very day.Elliott had tried to keep Clint on basic and warmup poses, but Clint insisted on going to the next level, and each time he sprayed sand through the air, he got right back up and kept trying until he was satisfied.“I feel like there has to be some sort of sword forging analogy that would help you understand why going straight to these poses is a bad idea,” Elliott said, sitting back in the sand and watching as Clint attempted Warrior III again.“I know how to sit in several different ways,” Clint huffed, trying to keep his balance on one leg while tipping his upper body forward, “I want to do things that actually push me.”“Maybe the challenge you need in this situation is the challenge of patience with yourself,” Elliott remarked as Clint fell face first into the ground, barely catching himself before getting a face full of sand.“Is my patience not demonstrated by how often I try the same thing?” Clint asked, pushing himself up to his knees and brushing the sand off his t-shirt.“How about try a normal triangle pose or something?” Elliott offered, hopping to his feet to demonstrate.“I’ve done that before, I don’t feel like it does anything for me,” Clint said, copying the pose.“There’s no way you can’t feel the stretch through your back,” Elliott scoffed, standing back up straight.“I don’t think so.”“You must be doing it wrong, then.”“How would you know?”“You know by looking at which of your muscles are engaged while you’re doing it, or at least that’s what they said when I took the class in college,” Elliott shrugged. Truth be told, he had gone to three sessions of a yoga class before quitting, and had done the rest of his research on the internet. He wasn’t exactly qualified to teach Clint how to do yoga, but he didn’t think that really mattered at the level Clint was at.“So then watch me and tell me if my muscles are doing the right thing,” Clint suggested, “you’re supposed to be staring at my ass or something like a good boyfriend, anyway.”“Har har,” Elliott walked toward Clint, “It’s hard to tell what’s going on when you’ve got such a baggy shirt on, would you feel comfortable taking it off?”Clint stood up immediately, and Elliott could see the red seeping into his face.“I, uh,” he stammered.“You don’t have to, I just won’t really be able to tell what your back, abs, or shoulders are doing,” Elliott shrugged, “no pressure, though.”Clint sighed. “If it’s how I get better then I guess I’ll do it, but can you turn around?”“Turn around?” Elliott laughed, “I’m going to see you shirtless in a second anyway, what good will that do?”“I don’t know, it just feels weird.”Elliott held his hands up and turned around. Far be it from him to decide what made or didn’t make someone uncomfortable. He wondered idly if Clint would make someone turn around if he was getting all the way undressed for them.“Okay now see this is actually worse, I think,” Clint’s voice came from behind,Elliott started to turn around but was interrupted by Clint shouting for him to stop.“No, wait!”Elliott’s hands dropped to his sides, “What’s wrong?”“Well, the problem is worse now I think because when you turn around it’s like a reveal or something. Like how am I even supposed to be standing when I have my shirt off?”“I think you’ve overthought yourself into oblivion,” Elliott said, chuckling.“Oblivion would be preferable.”“Can I turn around now?”“Okay, fine.”Elliott turned, expecting to just find shirtless Clint being normal, but instead Clint was laying flat, face down, on his yoga mat. Elliott was not only speechless, he could not form a coherent thought.“Whaa-” he finally eeked out.“I thought it would be less weird this way because it’s like if you just walked onto the beach and I was out here sunbathing,” Clint said, voice slightly muffled from his head being basically smushed into his yoga mat.It took Elliott a few seconds to reconcile what he was hearing. This was, without a doubt, one of the most awkward things Clint could have chosen to do at this point. Truly, he could not fathom what this man had been thinking when he decided that this was the move. The explanation didn’t help.“Well, I’m not sure you want to keep that move in the catalogue,” Elliott said, feeling like the dead silence between them was going to come alive and eat him if he didn’t interrupt it.Clint pushed himself up to sitting position. “So what you’re saying is that didn’t work to make it less weird?”“Literally not one bit,” Elliott said in a low tone, trying not to embarrass Clint more, “but we will just pretend it didn’t happen, how’s that?”Clint, whose face Elliott was pretty sure could not get any redder, nodded.“Anyway, triangle pose, please,” Elliott instructed, and Clint rose to get into the pose.As Clint twisted and bent, Elliott got his first good look at the smith’s upper body. As he had assumed, his arms, shoulders, and back were immaculately muscled. Elliott thought of all the occasions he had hugged Clint and how that was under there the whole time. After this experience, he surely would be more conscious of it.“What do you think?” Clint asked.Elliott, still musing over Clint’s deltoids, did not think before he spoke. “Gorgeous, honestly.”Clint turned around, looking at Elliott with a raised eyebrow. “Uh, Elliott?”Elliott’s stomach plummeted as he realized what had just come out of his mouth. “I mean, uh, your form is gorgeous, I mean, the pose, it looks, um, it looks like you’re doing it right.”Elliott had no fucking idea if Clint was doing triangle pose correctly. He had not been paying attention. He wasn’t sure he would have known if he was doing it correctly even if he hadn’t gotten distracted.“Okay, check my Warrior I then,” Clint said, seeming to shake off any awkwardness he had felt and continuing with his quest for self improvement.As soon as he got into his new pose, Elliott realized this had been a bad idea. Clint’s muscles were even more on display stretched toward the sky, and with his legs the way they were, Elliott could tell his butt was also more impressive than he originally would have guessed.‘Damn it,’ Elliott thought as he tried to focus, looking at the way Clint held himself to see if there was anything he could suggest to change.“Um, I think you need to learn further forward on your front leg,” Elliott suggested, “be sure to shift your weight slowly so you don’t lose balance.”Clint did as he said, and Elliott wanted to bury his head in the sand because that just made the problem of Clint’s ass even worse.“How’s this?” Clint asked, his breath tense with the effort of staying in place.“Perfect, no further inspection,” Elliott said, “in fact, I think I’m getting tired of yoga today, we can be done now.” Anything to stop him from being able to stare at Clint’s half naked body.“Oh, um, okay,” Clint said, dropping the pose and bending down to grab his shirt. Elliott thanked Yoba as he tugged the shirt back over his head.“Sorry for making things weird,” Clint said sheepishly, his hair sticking out different directions due to the static from the shirt, “I don’t think I’ve ever had my shirt off in front of anyone, since, like, middle school, so I freaked out a little.”“I think that’s probably normal in your position,” Elliott said, trying to calm his breathing down so Clint wouldn’t realize how hot and bothered he had gotten, “but honestly, you’re built really well, I wish you would be more confident about it.”“I have such a beer belly, though,” Clint grimaced.Elliott sighed. Of course he was going to have to tell the truth, even if he didn’t want to. “First of all, your tummy is cute, and second, I promise you that when your shirt is off, no one is looking at your stomach, they’re looking at your huge blacksmith arms and shoulders and thinking about how they want to bite them.” Maybe that was too honest.Clint’s eyes got huge, “Is that your personal assessment, or is that objective?”“Don’t worry about it,” Elliott said, “Anyway, I’m going to go shower. I’ll meet you at your place later today.”With that, he turned on his heel and walked, as quickly as he could given the sand, back to his cabin, not looking back at Clint as he closed the door.Clint jumped when Elliott entered his shop later that day. The way Elliott had acted when he left their yoga session that morning, Clint thought Elliott was annoyed, or maybe even angry with him. Part of Clint imagined that he might not even show up like he said, but if there was anything he was learning about Elliott, it was to take him at his word.“Hey there, cutie pie,” Elliott said as he swept in the open door. Clint noticed that his hair was still a little bit damp, and wondered how long it took for that mane to air dry after every time Elliott washed it.“Good to see you, dearest,” Clint replied, wincing a little at how it sounded. He had been workshopping using different pet names for the last few days, but nothing seemed to sound right.“Hmm, I don’t know if I love that one, but it sounds better than some of the others you’ve tried,” Elliott laughed, sidling up to the counter and perching himself on the stool.“You like it better than ‘dewdrop’?” Clint teased.“Listen, I thought dewdrop was kinda cute,” Elliott said, “not quite right, but still cute.”Clint thought for a moment, trying to come up with another name to use. “Whatever you say, starfish,” he finally said, and was horrified when Elliott slapped his hand over his own mouth and dissolved into giggles.“Not that, please!” he said through his laughter, “please not that, ever!”Clint rolled his eyes. “It wasn’t that bad…”“Clint,” Elliott said, wiping tears from his eyes, “Clint, the word starfish is slang for someone’s anus.”Clint blushed. “Oh,” he muttered, feeling like an absolute moron, “I didn’t think about that.”“Someone doesn’t read the comments on the, uh, very masculine videos they watch, huh?” Elliott said, and howled at his own joke.“Oh my word, Elliott, Vincent and Jas play outside over here sometimes,” Clint cautioned. He craned his neck to make sure he couldn’t see them, or that Haley and Alex weren’t hanging out at the nearby ice cream stand.“Calm down, sweetheart,” Elliott said when he finally pulled himself together, “I would have never said that if I knew they were around, I know I seem like I always have my head in the clouds but I do pay attention to my surroundings.”“That’s fine, just close the door if you’re going to say anything else like that.“How good is your insulation, anyway? Like soundproofing-wise?”“Really good. I do a lot of hammering at night because it’s cooler, and I’ve never gotten any complaints that anyone can hear me. The guy before me had this place built with every consideration a blacksmith could really want. He was a really neat guy, actually, taught me a lot about-” Clint cut off as he noticed the wry smile on Elliott’s face. Oh dear. “What?”“I’m very glad that your soundproofing is good,” Elliott said, his smile widening.Clint was annoyed that he was being baited, but bit anyway.“Why do you say that?” he sighed.“Just in case things get loud,” Elliott said with a wink, and Clint rolled his eyes, making a determination at that moment to not play along. Elliott would not get him this time, oh no, Clint would make him spell the joke out exactly so it wasn’t funny anymore.“Of course it gets loud, I do a lot of work with metals, it’s not exactly a quiet little hobby.”“No, like if it gets too loud while doing other things,” Elliott prodded.“I mean I do like to listen to my music kind of loud, truth be told I should work on that now that I’m getting older.”Elliott groaned and tossed his head back, and with the movement of his hair Clint could smell his floral shampoo, which made his chest tighten just a tiny bit. Sue a man for thinking his fake boyfriend smelled good, he supposed.“Cliiintttt,” Elliott said, stretching his name out, “I’m talking about you engaging in intercourse, likely with Emily, which could be very loud, as it can sometimes be when two adults engage in such behaviors.”Clint rejoiced internally. Got him.“Oh, I see,” he said externally, proud of himself for making Elliott over-explain the very bad joke. A thought struck him, though. “Is it actually that loud?”“I mean, it depends on the person,” Elliott said, “some people make little to no noise, some people literally scream, and there’s a lot in between.”Clint suddenly felt sick. Elliott probably knew where Emily fell on that spectrum. Elliott had told him that the two of them made out more than once, which naturally is going to lead to sex, from what he understood. He sighed, looking down at his ledgers and pretending to notice an error that needed fixed in order to not have to look at Elliott.“You okay?” Elliott asked after a minute of silence.Clint sighed again. Of all the men in town to fake date, and as a result actually get really close to, why did it have to be the really emotionally intelligent one? Right, because no one else would ever suggest such a thing. He tried to picture Shane making the same offer Elliott had, almost laughing out loud at the absurdity.“I’m fine,” he said, really not wanting to have this discussion right then.“Clint, we promised we would be super, even overly, honest with each other, remember?”Clint remembered too well. He didn’t want to say it, but he knew that Elliott was right, and if he wanted to continue getting the same honesty in return, he had to just get it out into the open. Nothing could be worse than what he was imagining.“I just don’t want to think about you and Emily like that,” Clint spat out, “it makes me feel sick to my stomach.”“Like that…” Elliott repeated, brow furrowed before realization dawned on his face, “oh you mean you don’t want to think about me and Emily having sex!”Clint nodded, nausea getting worse by the second.“Clint, that never happened,” Elliott said, leaning close and putting his hand on Clint’s arm. “When I said we made out I said it that way because that was the extent of what we did. If we had had sex I would have phrased it as we had hooked up. If anything that would have actually probably strengthened my case as to why you should trust me, I wouldn’t have left that out.”Clint took a deep breath, relief flooding through him. “You’re serious?”“Yes! Oh my gosh, I wish you would have told me that was bothering you sooner. That must have felt awful, walking around with me thinking that I was keeping that a secret from you. I’m so sorry I gave you a reason to think that.”Clint took Elliott’s hand and held it for a moment, trying to think through the implications of the situation and how it changed things. Elliott rubbed his thumb over Clint’s knuckles as Clint breathed deeply through his nose, trying to get his pulse under control. The smell of Elliott’s shampoo filled his lungs again, and he idly thought that it might feel nice to rest his chin on Elliott’s head so he could just smell his hair. He wondered what kind of shampoo Emily used, but he had never gotten close enough to her to notice that she smelled any particular way, especially not over the smell of alcohol that pervaded the saloon.“Thanks,” Clint said after a while, finally looking up and into Elliott’s eyes.“Any time,” Elliott said, a tiny smile appearing on his face, “anything else, now that we’re on the subject?”Clint thought for a moment. He didn’t have anything pressing on him right then, and he was happy to steer the conversation away from the topic of anything involving sex right then. “I got nothing.”“In that case, I was wondering if you could teach me a little bit about blacksmithing? I’m going to be honest, I don’t actually know the first thing about it, but I’m really curious.”Clint grinned, he almost couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Really? You want me to teach you about what I do?”“Yeah! I think it’s really cool, if that’s okay with you. I don’t want to get in your way.”Clint ran around to the other side of the counter, not letting go of Elliott’s hand, and grabbed his free hand as well. “I would love to teach you, it’s just no one’s ever asked me literally anything about my work before!” He was so excited, it felt like his chest was going to burst. “You’ll need to put your hair back though, as securely as you can get it. Hair and fire aren’t friends.”Elliott nodded and pulled a hair band out of his pocket. “Do you know how to french braid?” He asked, “I can pull it back but braids are more secure, and for all my artistic talents I can’t braid it myself.”Clint shook his head, “I don’t know how, I’m sorry,” he said, too excited about the prospect of someone taking interest in his profession to be too worried about it.“No sweat,” Elliott said, pulling his dense, auburn hair back and securing it in a tight bun at the back of his head.“Don’t say that,” Clint said, “You’re about to sweat a lot, actually.”“Ooh, the dirty talk begins, huh?” Elliott joked.Clint was too happy to be embarrassed. He had a genuine friend, was on track to getting his dream girl, and everything just seemed so perfect. This was the most joy he had felt in a long, long time.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Summer 9Riley’s farm was bustling with activity when Elliott, Clint, and Leah stepped onto the property in the cool of the morning. The pigs were out in force, coming to greet the guests upon arrival. In the distance, Elliott could make out the telltale signs of juminos, the little forest sprites, working together to pick sunflowers. Riley was just visible, near the center of the farmland, picking sunflowers himself and stuffing another seed into the ground where each flower left a void.
Leah whistled loudly, causing Elliott to jump at the sound going right into his left ear, which made Clint flinch due to their holding hands.
“I’ll take that tall flower in the middle there!” Leah hollered when Riley looked up.
He grinned back at the group, and then yelled in response, “Y’all hang on a minute, I’ll be over once I’m done with this section!”
Leah gave him an enthusiastic double thumbs up and led the boys towards the farm house, weaving through pigs as they went.
Elliott was a fan of animals, as far as he had ever understood. He tended to think they were sweet, or at the very least, just doing what they were born to do. These pigs though, they scared him a little. They were gargantuan. He had seen pigs in pens before, and conceptually knew that they were big, but actually having them come up and brush against him was a whole different story. Movies about friendly piglets and their spider mentors did not prepare him for how intimidating they actually were.
Clint must have noticed Elliott’s wide eyes and hesitance to touch the pigs, because he got that little glimmer in his eye. “You know,” Clint said, a teasing tone to his voice, “keeping pigs is the ideal profession for a serial killer.”
Elliott pulled a face. That was not at all what he had been expecting.
“What the hell?” Leah said, laughing incredulously, “What on earth are you talking about?”
“It just seems like in rural true crime, it’s always the pig farmer that did it,” Clint said, holding his hands out as if to defend himself from the weirdo allegations, “if you think about it, it’s the perfect cover. Pigs can chomp through a body pretty quickly, so there’s no evidence, and human screams and pig screams sound extremely similar, so people nearby wouldn’t think twice about it because they would be used to hearing screams just like that.”
Leah stopped laughing about halfway through the explanation.
“Alright, well that is absolutely horrifying and I am also now considering a murder romance novel involving a pig farmer so I’m filing all this away for later use,” Elliott said, feeling a mixture of disgust and intrigue.
“How do you know all this?” Leah said, taking a seat on the farmhouse porch, her feet resting on the step below.
“I listen to podcasts while I work sometimes,” Clint shrugged, as if that was the most normal podcast subject in the world. He perched himself on the porch the same as Leah, but several feet away from her.
Elliott grimaced, thinking about how his fake boyfriend probably had a litany of knowledge on ways to murder someone without arousing suspicion. That did not make him feel better about the prospect of convincing Emily that Clint would be an excellent partner.
Sighing internally, Elliott plopped down on the bottom step of the stairs near Clint, resting his head on Clint’s knee. “Should we come back another day?” Elliott asked, “I didn’t realize today was going to be a harvesting day, I feel bad.”
“Honestly, I think he has something ready to harvest pretty much every day after the first few days of each season,” Leah said, reclining, “he already warned me about his blueberry schedule, apparently sometimes he doesn’t get done with that til afternoon. Once fall comes, I may as well just block off all the days of his cranberry cycle. That’s his biggest fall profit crop, I guess, so he plants hordes of them.”
“Do you think you’ll start helping out on the farm, eventually?” Clint asked.
Leah stared thoughtfully into the distance for a moment. “I’m not sure, that’ll be a conversation for later on, I think. If we end up getting married and I move here, I guess I would probably want to help out, but I worry about my hands getting too tough to do art the way I want.”
“Doesn’t using a chisel for art make your hands super tough anyway?” Clint said, looking at his own hands, “I don’t know what it’s like in comparison to metalworking, but I swear I have about ten more years before my hands are pure callous.
Leah examined her hands, “I mean, they’re not, like, super delicate little hands,” she admitted, “but I worry I would lose sensitivity. I don’t know, maybe that’s stupid.”
“Not wanting to do farm work for the rest of your life isn’t a shameful thing,” Elliott commented, “it sounds like you don’t want to do it and you feel bad about it, but I bet Riley would completely understand you not wanting to spend hours a day yanking parsnips out of the dirt. Heaven knows I would not have participated in that had I been in your position.”
“Okay, hey now, I’m not as averse to getting my hands dirty as you are,” Leah said, wagging her finger jokingly.
“It’s not my hands I’m worried about,” Elliott replied, flipping his hair, “Speaking of which, can you do my hair real quick? It’s warmer than I expected today.” He was sweating hard, especially on the back of his neck where his hair sat the heaviest when it was humid out like today.
Leah scooted over to sit above Elliott, who lifted his head off Clint’s leg, but reached his hand up instead, making a crab claw gesture until the man took his hand and held it.
“You guys know you don’t have to put the show on for me,” Leah said, parting Elliott’s hair into three at his widow’s peak, “Unless you’ve just decided you like it, in which case I have more questions.”
Elliott couldn’t move his head because of the braiding, which was unfortunate because he wanted to see which face Clint was making.
“I mean, it’s not not nice,” Clint said before Elliott could respond, which was surprising because Elliott had expected stammering and general awkwardness, “but I need as much practice as I can get, so that means also being affectionate when we don’t absolutely have to.”
“Ohh, I see,” Leah said, and Elliott could hear the smile in her voice, “So I don’t have to grill you about your intentions toward my best friend?”
“I mean you can, but I’m just going to be honest.”
“That’s okay, you can save the inner workings of your relationship for your own conversations,” she replied.
Elliott stifled a laugh. Every time he had been alone with Leah in the past month, her first order of business was to rake Elliott over the coals about how the fake relationship was progressing. She had all but held a knife to Elliott’s throat when she demanded that he tell her the instant a kiss happened, and it was only ‘all but a knife’ because it had actually been a carving awl, and it had actually been angled closer to his eye than his neck.
Elliott felt Leah working her way around his head, giving him milkmaid braids. Not what he expected, but he generally trusted Leah to make him look cute.
“Should I go see if Riley needs help with the cows after this?” He asked.
“I’m sure you have plenty of experience with milking things, but he does that first thing in the morning,” Leah snorted.
“Rude,” Elliott shot back, REALLY wishing he could look at Clint’s face this time. The conversation they’d had the other day had been the closest they’d gotten to talking about sex, and he knew Clint wasn’t exactly comfortable with the fact that people assumed they were in that phase of dating.
As Leah was finishing up with Elliott’s hair, Riley came running up the dirt path from the fields. Leah popped the last pin into the braids and stood up, holding her arms out.
Riley mirrored the gesture as he picked up speed, grabbing Leah off the porch in a hug and spinning her around while she squealed.
“I’m glad you’re here, babe,” he said, setting her down and giving her a kiss on the forehead, “pretty girls are good luck for crops, I’ve heard.”
It was still funny for Elliott to hear the way Riley talked about farming sometimes. He had only been working a farm for a few years now, and openly admitted to never having seen a live chicken in real life before moving to Pelican Town. He had learned to farm mainly by watching YouTube videos, so seeing him step into the persona of the small town farmer boy despite his city accent and life experience was silly at times.
Riley turned to Elliott and Clint, still sitting on the porch. “What can I do for my two favorite frauds?” He asked, eyes alight with his own joke.
“We need something phenomenal to put in the soup on Wednesday,” Elliott replied, “we were hoping you’d have something in your cellars that would make us look like we really went out of our way to contribute something good.”
“Oh gosh, yeah, I keep a lot of my good stuff on hand for gifts and for my grange display in the fall,” Riley responded, “I can absolutely spare something for you guys, especially if it makes the soup awesome. I love that we live in a community where everyone can just throw stuff together into a pot and eat it and we all trust that no one is going to put something weird in it, like used needles or a package of fent.”
Elliott’s eyes widened. “Do you really think that would happen if they did this in Zuzu?” He asked. Elliott had grown up in a mid-income suburb, so he wasn’t totally a hick, but he had a hard time believing that someone would do something malicious like that anywhere.
“Listen, there’s always a crackhead around to do something weird,” Riley explained, “Usually crackheads are really nice, but someone is always going to do something stupid when there’s enough of them and they think they have anonymity.” He shrugged, “I also just kind of lived in the cruddy part of the city, though, so maybe I’m negatively biased.”
“Honestly, sounds like something I would have done as a kid,” Clint admitted, “I went through a phase of thinking it was really hilarious to screw people over.”
“You got over that, though, right?” Elliott said, eyeing him.
“Guess you’ll have to find out,” Clint said, winking back.
Great.
Riley made a concerned face and then went to dig through some of the chests he had sitting out next to his house. “I’ve got a few different kinds of high quality wine, some really pretty truffles, some enormous yams, a few others but those tend to be the favorites from what I’ve seen.”
“Ooh, let’s go with a truffle,” Clint said, and then looked to Elliott, “does that sound okay?”
“I’m always happy to show up with the bougiest ingredient.”
“Perfect, how much for this?” Clint said as Riley handed him one of the egg-sized balls.
“For you guys? Nothing, but if Pierre asks, you paid five thousand,” Riley responded, grinning, “You’d be making me way more money doing that than if I actually charged you what he pays.”
“I appreciate it, thank you, Riley,” Clint said, popping the truffle into his pocket.
“Anytime! Since you’re here, do you want to step inside for a bit? I’d love to have some brunch and chat for a while,” Riley offered, gesturing to the door.
“I actually have a doctor’s appointment,” Elliott said sheepishly, wishing he could stay. Leah had raved about how well Riley cooked eggs.
“Well, then, Clint, want to stay for some food?” Leah asked, looking excited.
Clint made eye contact with Elliott, looking a little panicked. Elliott smiled at him in a way that he hoped was reassuring.
“Sure, I’d love to,” Clint replied.
“Excellent, bye, Elliott!” Leah said, shoving Elliott toward the road back to town.
“Good grief, please be nice to him!” Elliott laughed as he stumbled, but turned and continued on the path anyway. He was going to be late, he knew that already. “See you later!” He called, waving to them as he hustled away to the clinic.“Alright then, let’s get your information updated here,” said Harvey, swiveling on his stool so he could look at Elliott while using his computer.
Elliott sat on the exam table in a paper gown, looking at the chart of the different layers of muscle in a foot that hung on the wall next to where the doctor was sitting.
“Anything in particular you want to talk about today?” Harvey asked, hands poised over the keyboard.
“Nope, just a normal yearly checkup, Elliott responded, looking down at his toes dangling above the floor.
“Any recent illnesses?”
“Just my normal seasonal allergies.”
“Have you started taking any new medicines?”
“I switched my acne cream from retinol to bakuchiol,” Elliott said, squinting as he tried to remember if there were any other new actives in his skincare routine.
Harvey nodded and typed in the information.
“Now the fun stuff,” he said, waggling his eyebrows despite using the most monotone voice possible, “any recreational drug use?”
“I smoked some of Sebastian’s joint at the Spirit’s Eve party last year,” Elliott admitted, “it was kind of fun, but once it wore off the smell was still stuck to me and gave me a migraine.”
Harvey nodded understandingly, “Been there, so nothing current?”
“Nope,” Elliott replied. It had truly been a good time, but the after effects were not worth it.
“They do make gummies, in case you wanted to give it another go without the smell.”
“Is my doctor encouraging me to use cannabis?” Elliott asked, taken aback.
“No, but I do recommend it to people who smoke it, because then at least you’re not inhaling garbage into your lungs. Risk minimization is better than nothing,” he shrugged.
“I’ll take that under advisement,” Elliott chuckled.
“Anyway, alcohol use?”
“Probably 5-7 drinks a week, on average. Less than one every day, but once a month or so I can go several in one day.”
“So about the same as you said last year?” Harvey clarified.
“Yeah, I’d say so.”
“And are you sexually active?”
“Nope.”
“Ever been sexually active?”
“Also nope.”
Harvey eyed Elliott while typing that one in.
“I know you don’t believe me, but it’s just the way it is,” Elliott said, remembering having this conversation every year since moving to the valley.
“I mean, I’m always happy to have a low risk patient, and I don’t want to pry into your personal affairs,” Harvey said carefully, “but I have to ask because there are a lot of considerations for sexually active people that are not as important for those who are not.”
“It’s just one of those really personal decisions,” Elliott said, “I think if I get to a point where that’s going on, you’ll likely be able to tell, because I will most likely be married.”
“A lot of people say that, and then they’re unprepared for the reality that most people don’t actually wait that long,” Harvey pushed back.
“I promise when I do lose my virginity, you’ll be the fourth to know,” Elliott assured him with a smile.
Harvey counted on his fingers. “Leah, I imagine, then… hmm. I give up, who’s second and third?”
“My college best friends. They have a long standing bet about it. Technically several bets, about different aspects of the encounter.”
Harvey looked mildly horrified.
“Do I not seem like the type of person to overshare my romantic life with close friends?”
“I suppose, but anyway, you might give some thought to keeping yourself healthy in the case that things do get more serious in your current relationship.”
“Noted,” Elliott said, feeling his cheeks getting hot at the idea. He really could not think about that right now, so he filed it away with a note to let his brain be traitorous at another time.
“Alright, let’s get started with the exam, then,” Harvey said, obviously not wanting to push the subject any more than that, for which Elliott was grateful.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Spring 11Elliott awoke on the day of the Luau to the mouthwatering scent of roast pork filling his entire house, vaguely tropical music playing, and several pounding knocks on his door. He checked the clock, groaning when he realized it was already almost 11am. He had stayed up too late reading the night before, as evidenced by the open book face-down on his chest. The knock came again.
“Elliott!” Clint’s voice sounded from outside.
“Coming,” Elliott responded, his voice crackly with sleep. He pulled himself out of bed and hobbled across the room to the door, which flew open as soon as he unlocked it.
“Elliott, come on!” Clint said, sliding into the house.
Elliott squinted hard in the light streaming into the house before slamming the door shut.
“Did you just wake up?” Clint asked in disbelief.
Elliott growled a noncommittal response, figuring his appearance would answer for him.
“I’ll be ready in like ten minutes,” he finally said, “I mostly just need to wash my face and brush my teeth and get dressed. You can stay if you want, I know you feel awkward alone at festivals.”
“Thank you, I really do,” Clint said, his shoulders visibly relaxing.
“Make yourself at home,” Elliott yawned, making a facetiously grand sweeping gesture at the one-room cabin.
Elliott headed to the bathroom where he relieved himself, washed his face, brushed his teeth, and shook his hair out of its foam curler. He was annoyed at himself for sleeping so late, it was going to be a fun day, and he wanted to give himself time to enjoy the festivities.
Emerging from the bathroom, he got his first good look at Clint and the outfit he had chosen for the Luau. The man was wearing a button up Hawaiian print shirt and some shorts that were fashionably short. The combination of tacky and stylish made him look kind of trendy, and showed off more of his legs than Elliott had seen before.
“I like the outfit,” he said, making his way to the closet to pick out his own clothes.
Clint scoffed, and Elliott turned to him. “I mean it, dude, you look really good. Like you walked off someone’s summer Pinterest board.”
Clint’s mildly affronted expression turned into pride. “Thanks, I did a lot of research before ordering this. I’m glad you like it.”
Elliott tried to smile through the crunchiness his soul still felt from sleep inertia, but wasn’t convinced it was effective. “Want to pick my clothes out for me?” He asked, and it sounded more like a challenge coming out of his mouth than it had in his mind.
“Absolutely not,” Clint laughed, “the day I try to dress you is the day after you went blind.”
“I like the implication that if I went blind, you would be my caretaker,” as he said it, Elliott pictured it for a moment, and realized that at this point in his life, Clint would be the person most likely to volunteer to help him if something devastating happened to his health, which was sweet but also nerve-wracking.
Elliott snatched the outfit he had laid out for himself last night and headed toward the bathroom to change, shooing away the traitorous thoughts at the edge of his mind, the ones that had first cropped up at Harvey’s clinic. It would be absolutely wild and inappropriate to just change in front of Clint, he told himself, that would be an awful idea and would screw everything up. Clint would get uncomfortable, things would get strained, and the whole plan would fall apart. He would never get to finish his book, never get to hold Clint’s hand again…
The bathroom door shut behind Elliott and he looked at himself in the mirror. “You’re literally insane,” he whispered to himself, “you just woke up, give yourself time to adjust to the day before beating yourself up about silly thoughts.” He sighed to himself as he pulled on an intentionally rumpled linen shirt and matching pants. He was going for breezy beach hippie today, one of his favorite styles in terms of comfort.
“Ready to go?” He asked Clint when he popped out of the bathroom a moment later, his pajamas crumpled on the bathroom floor, forgotten.
“Ready to go,” Clint confirmed, standing from where he had been seated on Elliott’s bed.
“Did you make my bed for me?” Elliott asked, cocking his head.
“Um, yeah, I did,” Clint said, looking embarrassed, “sorry if that’s weird, I just figured it would be helpful.”
“No, I appreciate it, thank you,” Elliott said, offering his hand, “you brought the truffle?”
“Outside with my other beach stuff,” Clint said, taking Elliott’s hand and lacing their fingers together, “I shaved it right before leaving my house so it’ll be super fresh. It smells amazing, I’m really excited.”
“You’re a star,” Elliot said, pulling him to the door.
Once on the beach, a couple people whooped at Elliott as he emerged from his house.
“Good morning, sleeping beauty,” Marnie called, mixing the soup with what looked like a boat oar.
“Hey, it takes a lot of sleep to keep up with your looks!” Elliott hollered back at her, blowing a kiss.
Mayor Lewis, who was standing with the governor a few yards away from Marnie, shot Elliott a dirty look.
“You pissed off Lewis,” Clint whispered to Elliott, evidently seeing the same daggered stare.
“Oh but why would he be upset?” Elliott feigned, “He has no interest in Marnie, none whatsoever, it would be scandalous so suggest otherwise.”
Clint pursed his lips and puffed out his cheeks. “I literally told him last night that he needed to make something official, she isn’t going to wait on his hook forever. Marlon has a huge crush on her and he is way more interesting than Lewis.”
Elliott’s eyes went wide. “How do you know this?” He whispered, jealous that Clint was privy to all the best gossip.
“What can I say, you make a gold statue of a guy and suddenly he starts telling you his other secrets too. You don’t have to keep that one to yourself though, I would just love it to get back to Lewis that he has competition.”
Elliott grinned, but couldn’t ask more as they had arrived within earshot of people.
“You boys got anything for the soup?” Marnie asked as they drew near, “We want to start serving pretty soon.”
“Absolutely,” Clint said, letting go of Elliott’s hand to jog over and grab the truffle. He hustled back to Elliott’s side, now holding a small plastic container filled with all the shavings of the little truffle.
“You want to do the honors, sweetie?” Clint asked, offering the open container to Elliott.
“Let’s do it together!” Elliott said, grabbing Clint’s arm, partly to look cute because he knew Emily was somewhere nearby, partly because squishing Clint’s bicep a little bit sounded fun.
They climbed the short steps to the edge of the simmering pot of soup, and Clint held the plastic container out to Elliott, who took a handful of the shavings and held them out. Clint poured the rest into his own hand. “Should we count down?” He asked
“Three,” started Elliott,
“Two, one” they finished together, and sprinkled the flakes all over the surface of the soup.
“The hell even is that?” Asked Sam, who by his ever so slightly singed bangs had evidently been tasked with keeping the fire stoked this year.
“Truffle,” Elliott explained, “its kind of like a fancy mushroom.”
“Oh…” Sam said, wrinkling his nose.
“Don't worry, there's not a lot of it and it's not a super strong flavor. It'll just be in the background, it's not like a regular mushroom, I promise,” Elliott assured him.
“That's good, mushrooms taste like wet dogs smell, to me,” Sam explained, “I know it's a kid thing to not like them, and I've tried, but it's just not my thing.”
“I think I know what flavor you mean, but I can definitely tell you it is not at all like that, here, Clint let him smell the container.”
Clint held the plastic tub out for Sam, who took a whiff.
“Oh, okay that's not bad then,” he said, looking relieved.
“You would kind of deserve it after putting anchovies in that one time,” Clint reminded him, “I still don't think you caught enough flak for that.”
Sam rolled his eyes. “I may not have gotten directly punished but I do suffer everyone complaining about it to me every year. I was eleven though! I'm a grown man now.”
“You would put a whole pizza in the soup if we let you,” Clint huffed.
“And it would be a great addition!” Sam said, throwing his hands up, “you guys don't see the vision!” He laughed, “I mean, of course I'm joking, but you cannot tell me that you don't think pizza soup would slap.”
Elliott considered. A cheesy tomato soup with meat in it sounded pretty normal. Maybe served with a breadstick, or with a slice of French bread toasted on top of the bowl like French onion soup. The wheels were turning. Maybe he would make that for his and Clint’s next “date night” in.
“Hey now, dude, don't get too excited about it,” Sam laughed, and Elliott snapped out of his soup thoughts.
“Sorry, I was just thinking and I think you're right. I'll test some recipes and if I get a good one I'll have you over for a soup night!” He exclaimed, wondering if he could incorporate self made recipes into a novel. There were too many ideas flowing at once today.“I swear, Lewis, every year I come here and your soup gets better,” said the governor, scarfing down his third bowl of the day.
The festivities had died down a little over the last couple hours, people were starting to slow down their eating and dancing, and Clint could see post-feast naps in the eyes of his fellow townspeople, but he and Elliott were at the same table as the governor and Lewis, so they have to be on their best behavior and not nod off.
“We have a prolific farmer who produces better and better crops every year,” Lewis explained, “he's around here somewhere, I know you've met him before but he usually doesn't stay for the whole Luau.”
“Farmers are awful busy,” the governor said, nodding sagely. Clint bit the inside of his lip to stop from laughing at the man’s haughty expression, as well as the amount of ass-kissing Lewis did whenever he was around.
“Oh, yes, very much, especially now that he's got a girlfriend,” Lewis said, peering into the governor’s face to check for his reaction. Lewis was always trying to get the governor involved in local gossip so he had a reason to call him more often. Clint figured Lewis was out for his job, and thought that cozying up to the guy was the best way to go about it.
“Oh does he? That's very nice, love is great if you can keep it.”
“Many of our young people are getting involved with one another,” Lewis continued, “it's good to see the foundation for the next generation being laid, if you'll excuse the double entendre.”
Next to Clint, Elliott started loudly choking on whatever he had been eating, drawing everyone's attention. After a few hard coughs, he cleared his throat and shook his head. “Sorry,” Elliott said, wiping the tears from his eyes, “wrong pipe.”
Clint raised an eyebrow. He had been eating dinner at the same time in the same saloon with Elliott for years and never knew him to be careless enough to swallow his food wrong. That was something normal people did, not Mr Perfect with his elegant mindfulness and gorgeous hair that Clint sometimes thought about running his fingers through, in a very platonic, friendly, not at all romantic way. What's a little affectionate hair stroking between great friends? He blinked, shaking off the stray thoughts.
“You one of the young lovebirds he's talking about?” The governor asked. “Elliott, right? The author of those cutesy romance books? Surely you must charm all the ladies in town.”
“Oh I do,” Elliott said, voice still cracky from coughing, “and the men,” he winked at the governor, who started.
“We’re actually dating,” Clint chimed in, leaning his shoulder to touch Elliott’s.
The governor blinked for a minute, and then started laughing. “You really mean to tell me that this pretty boy is shacked up with your blacksmith, Lewis?”
Clint wrinkled his nose. He wasn't a stranger to people talking about him like he wasn't there, but this seemed extra rude.
Before Lewis could respond, Elliott cut him off. “What do you mean? Do you have a problem with men dating each other, sir?” He put a biting emphasis on “sir”, and Clint smirked.
“Absolutely not, I have a gay son myself and I love him and his husband very much, it's just that the two of you, well, I don't know. I've known you both, at least somewhat, for years now, and it just doesn't seem like you have anything in common. I don't mean to put anyone down here, I’m just surprised that you got together at all.”
“Obviously, Clint doesn't need to justify why he's attracted to me,” Elliott said, which made Clint pull an indignant face, “but I'll have you know that he's one of the sweetest people I've ever met. He can be awkward at times, absolutely, but he listens to everything and everyone around him and tries to remember their preferences and details about them. He's so thoughtful, and funny, and talented, and passionate about his work, and he's got the most insanely muscular shoulders I've ever seen and I like looking at him.” Elliott sat back in his chair, arms crossed. “So there.”
Clint’s jaw dropped. He was speechless. In his entire life, he didn't think anyone had ever string so many words together to describe why he was a good or worthwhile person as Elliott just had. He felt his eyes and nose prick, and swallowed hard to try and keep from welling up.
The governor’s face softened, “well, I didn't mean to imply that what you have isn't wonderful, I apologize.”
“You mean it? What you said?” Clint couldn't help but asking Elliott, looking into his eyes.
“Every word.” Elliott held Clint’s gaze for a moment, and he believed him. Fake dating or not, Elliott really thought Clint was a good and thoughtful person. He recognized the positive things about him like no one ever had.
“Thank you, you always make me feel really good about myself,” Clint finally responded in a near-whisper.
Elliott smiled and patted Clint’s hand.
“Well, on that note, I should get home,” the governor said, causing Lewis to jump.
“Sir, are you sure? I wouldn't want you to leave so soon after you drove all the way here, I was going to give you a tour of our community center! We added on a garden room this winter and everything!”
The governor put a hand on the mayor’s shoulder, “unfortunately, my wife’s company is having a summer barbeque tonight as well, and I promised her I would be home in time so she didn't have to attend alone.” He rose, tipping his hat at Clint and Elliott, before waddling off toward town, the mayor on his heels.
With him out of the way, Clint could see Emily, sitting at the table behind where the governor had been, staring daggers at him. Clint looked around. Was she actually looking at him?
“You, uh, you okay, Em?” Clint asked just loud enough that she could hear across the space.
Her eyebrows raised, and she blinked a couple times as if resetting her brain. “Hmm? Yes, I'm sorry, just looking into the middle distance, as one does” she said with a half smile that looked a little disdainful.
“Oh, okay,” Clint stammered back, still feeling uncomfortable.
He turned to Elliott. “Wanna get out of here? I'm feeling sleepy,” he lied.
Elliott turned to him, and his eyes flicked back and forth between Clint and Emily. “Sure, let's just go to my cabin, we can take a nap there,” Elliott said, projecting his voice just a little bit.When the door closed behind them, Elliott turned and grabbed Clint's shoulders.”Clint! We’re doing it! There's no way that looks she was shooting us wasn't jealousy!”
Clint gaped. “Do you really think so?” He asked, not dating to believe it.
“Absolutely. I know what jealousy looks like and that was it. We’re getting so close, I can feel it. I told you, Dance of the Moonlight Jellies, it's gonna happen for you!”
Clint could hardly breathe. His heart pounded as he thought about holding Emily’s hand out on the docks, her resting her head on his shoulder as the jellies swam around, maybe even kissing her in the soft phosphorescent glow.
“I can't believe it. If you really think we’re close, I need to really get ready for this! I have to be prepared!”
“You're already prepared,” Elliott said, “you've overcome a lot of your awkwardness, and if she has a crush on you now, that'll sail you past any remaining awkward moments until you get to know her well enough that it's not an issue anymore. You're home free!”
“I'm home free,” Clint repeated, dazed, but then his stomach sank.
“But, Elliott, what am I going to tell her when she wants to kiss me? She’ll want to start that pretty soon after we start dating, right?”
“Knowing Emily, she’ll want to be kissing you way before you're official. She’s the type that needs to feel out a connection before committing.”
“So what if I'm a bad kisser? That's not good for a connection.”
“Have you ever kissed anyone?” Elliott asked, squinting a bit as if he knew the answer.
“Definitely not,” Clint replied, shaking his head at the thought, “not even close, actually.”
“Honestly? I would be straightforward with her about that when the time comes,” Elliott suggested, “good communication is the foundation of good kissing, in my expert opinion.”
“I guess, but then there's a problem.” Clint felt a little sick. “Isn’t she going to think it's a little weird that we dated for a while and never kissed?”
Elliott frowned. “Yeah, I guess you're right, that does complicate things,” he admitted.
“Maybe I don't have to tell her?”
“I don't know. I've been several people's first kiss, and I'll be honest, I could pretty much always tell when that was the case, even if they didn't tell me beforehand.”
“Ugh,” Clint groaned, flopping onto Elliott’s bed, “so what you're saying is I'm going to be a shitty kisser and our story is going to get blown wide open regardless?”
“It's definitely possible,” Elliott said, settling down beside him, “especially because she's very aware that I'm a phenomenal kisser, and I never would have sent you off to your next relationship without some great skills, or at least better skills than someone who had never kissed anyone.”
Clint’s stomach twisted again at the thought of Elliott and Emily kissing.
“How many people have you kissed, anyway?” He asked.
“Oh geez,” Elliott laughed, “I honestly couldn't even tell you. I went through a couple semesters in college where I would make out with anything that moved, I swear. I was a well known kiss slut, but I also got a bad reputation as a tease because I would leave people ‘high and dry’,” he said, using air quotes.
“What do you mean?” Clint asked, rolling to the side so he could face Elliott.
“Um, I probably should have told you this before, but it didn't seem relevant. I, uh, I've never had sex with anyone. Ever. So I would make out with people, and then when they would want to go further I wouldn’t, and sometimes people get upset when you do that to them. I actually got in a couple situations that were pretty scary because of it. Thankfully everything was fine, but suffice it to say that even if I told them before I even kissed them that we weren't going to do anything beyond that, they always thought they would be the one to change my mind.”
Clint was confused. All this time he had assumed Elliott had a body count like the Gotoro Empire, with all the people he talked about kissing, but all this time he hadn't just been being polite about it, he really had only kissed them. It was a shock to Clint’s system.
“Why didn't you ever have sex with anyone?” Clint asked softly, not wanting to sound like he was trying to shame him, which was weird considering he was of course a virgin himself.
“I just want commitment before I share that part of myself with someone, you know?” Elliott pulled his knees up to his chin, his hair falling forward over both shoulders, “I give people so much access to my mind and my heart through my writing, and that's really intimate. I just want one thing that's kept from everyone until I decide that I really really want to be with someone, you know? Call me a prude, or a romantic, or a sufferer of religious trauma, or whatever else, but I just want one thing that is for one person and one person only.”
Clint’s heart broke for Elliott. He was being so vulnerable, and Clint could tell it was hard for him to talk about.
“We’re so opposite,” he finally said, chuckling to himself, “you've had all the opportunity in the world and you shoot sex down every time, I've been desperate to get laid for decades and have been snubbed at every turn. What a mess.”
Elliott smiled down at Clint, tucking his hair back behind his ear on the side that faced the smith. Clint felt happy. He liked sharing secrets with Elliott.
“So what's the secret to good kissing, hmm?” Clint asked, breaking the silence.
Elliott laughed. “It really depends on the person and the situation. I like slow kissing, but if I only had slow kisses all the time it would be awful. I like a little tongue but not too much, but sometimes someone really overdoing the tongue in the right circumstance is really hot. You have your preferences, but then there’s always the exception, and those exceptions are sometimes the best part.”
“It feels weird not to know how I feel about things like that,” Clint mused, “Like, I can make guesses at what I'll like, but at the end of the day it's going to be really new. There's a steep learning curve in front of me, I can feel it.”
“Eh, it's honestly not as steep as you think,” Elliott said, “and then there's always a new curve with each new person, usually, anyway. The biggest advice I could give you is don't overthink it. You can really whip yourself up over nothing when it comes to kissing, and I think that's the worst thing you can do, because ultimately it's supposed to be fun.”
“I guess,” Clint breathed, settling further into the mattress, feeling sleep gnawing at the sides of his mind.
“I could teach you, if you wanted.”
All thoughts of a nap evaporated like a raindrop on the surface of the sun. Clint’s heart just about stopped.
“No pressure, obviously, and I don't want to make things weird, so you can absolutely say no, but just, if you're stressed, I don't know, forget I said anything.” Elliott tumbled through the speech like a jar of marbles thrown down the stairs.
Clint sat up, taking Elliott’s hand. “You'd really do that for me? Let me practice kissing?”
Elliott visibly relaxed. “Yeah, I mean, everyone assumes we’re doing all sorts of things anyway, so that isn't an issue, plus then you don't have to tell Emily you've never kissed anyone. You can be honest and say I was your first kiss and it'll just be normal and the truth.”
Clint couldn't believe what he was hearing, and moreso he couldn't believe that he was strongly considering it.
“Would it make things weird?” He asked, “you've kind of become my closest, really my only actual friend.”
“I'm a master of making it not weird,” Elliott responded, flipping his hair again, “as long as you don't make it weird, it won't be weird.”
Clint thought for a minute, searching his soul for an answer. Did he want to do this? If Elliott truly meant what he said, it didn't seem like there were downsides. He felt comfortable holding Elliott’s hand, resting his head on Elliott’s shoulder, laying in Elliott’s bed. How different would kissing him really be?
“Okay, I'll take you up on it,” Clint finally said, “how do we do this?”
“Well, do you want to try kissing me first, or do you want me just to kiss you?”
“That sounds like a complicated question, for some reason.”
Elliott laughed, putting his feet back on the floor and turning to face Clint. “Basically the choice is just do you want to be the one to actually move in and pull the trigger, or do you want me to take charge so you don't have to think about it?”
Clint bit his lip, thinking.
“I think I want you just to do it. That sounds like it would be easier for the first time.” He could feel his blood pounding through his body. He wasn't sure he had ever been this nervous before. “One question first, though.”
“Anything,” Elliott said, winking and scooting closer.
“What do I do with my arms?”
Elliott burst out in a laugh, “remember how I said the worst thing you can do is overthink this?”
“Not even a suggestion?” He pleaded.
“The first time just keep them where they are so you don't fall over,” Elliott joked, and then time slowed to a crawl as Clint watched his face get closer and closer, and Elliott’s soft, warm lips pressed into Clint’s, which, when contrasted with Elliott’s firm kiss, he realized had been trembling a little.
Clint leaned into the kiss the tiniest bit as he felt a rush of warmth over his whole body. It wasn’t like in the stories where there were fireworks and some wild spark, it was just comfortable.
After what felt like forever and also no time at all, Elliott pulled away, and Clint noticed that his cheeks and nose were bright pink. He worried that Elliott was embarrassed, that he thought he'd make a mistake by kissing Clint, but his warm smile said otherwise.
“So, there you go,” Elliott said, still close enough that Clint could feel his breath, “not so scary, right?”
Clint shook his head. “It was nice, actually.”
Elliott raised an eyebrow, “see? I told you I’m good.”
Clint nodded, “best kiss I've ever had, but, um, what if I want to be the one who goes in for the kiss?”
“Try it out, I'm not going anywhere.”
Clint’s stomach flipped again, and he leaned in this time, studying Elliott’s face as he did. Elliott had freckles, Clint had never noticed before. They were very light, possibly faded from a childhood of being freckle-faced before he started using sunscreen daily.
Clint took a deep breath, and went in for the kiss in earnest, though this time he leaned forward enough that he had to move his hand for stability, and it fell on Elliott’s thigh. He almost snatched it back, but thankfully held back, realizing that the sudden movement would make the kiss worse, possibly even startling Elliott and snapping him to the reality of what was going on.
Probably a little too quickly, Clint leaned back out of the kiss, feeling his breathing get heavier. He was so nervous he couldn't stand it, but he was also elated. No longer a freak who had never kissed anyone despite being in his mid 30s.
“Good job,” Elliott breathed, his blush deepening.
“Really?” Clint asked, “I thought maybe I pulled away too fast.”
“Well, yeah, generally you want to be a little slower, let it linger a bit more, unless you're just going for a quick peck, but that's a whole different genre of kiss in my opinion.”
“Can we practice that next? That sounds useful.”
“Sure,” Elliott giggled, “one other suggestion though.”
“Yes, please tell me,” Clint urged, tightening his grip on Elliott’s leg.
“Generally, you want to close your eyes when you're missing,” Elliott said, putting his hand on Clint’s.
“Oh. right.” Clint was horrified, what an awful mistake. That must have looked so weird. “I guess I was just trying to see where I was going?”
“I promise once you get a little more practice in, you won't feel like you need to look anymore, even when you're kissing a new person.”
Clint nodded, “I will try to remember that.”
“Pecks next, you said?”
Clint nodded, “seems like an easy thing to do.”
“Try it out,” Elliott said in a teasing voice.
“Make me?” Clint tested.
Elliott narrowed his eyes, and gave Clint an extremely quick kiss. “Your turn.”
Clint went back with one of his own.
“Good, no notes,” Elliott said, looking down at their intertwined hands, a lock of hair falling into his face, “now go back to the regular ones, you need more practice with those.”
Clint, feeling bold, slowly reached up and brushed the hair from Elliott’s face, tracing his finger along the man’s cheek, “whatever you say.”
Half an hour later, Elliott pronounced Clint reasonably competent with basic kissing. He still tended to keep his eyes open, but he was shockingly tender and sweet, and his lips were actually much nicer than Elliott had anticipated.
Elliott flopped back onto his bed, and Clint followed suit, keeping their hands intertwined.
“It's weird,” Clint said, bright blue eyes searching the ceiling, “I always assumed kissing was like, top lip to top lip, bottom lip to bottom lip, you know?”
“Yeah, it just kind of makes sense to think of it that way til you try it,” Elliott agreed.
“It is just totally not like that,” Clint continued, “do people end up with like a favorite lip they tend to kiss? Does it vary based on who you're kissing?”
“Sometimes,” Elliott said, chuckling, “I've found that sometimes girls have a tiny bit of a mustache, you know, because humans are mammals so that's just a thing that happens sometimes, and so they’ll strategically go for your top lip so you don't feel their mustache.”
Clint giggled, “I am so sorry you can't really avoid my facial hair, I mean unless you don't like it. I would shave if the person I was kissing regularly asked. I just don't have much of a chin without the beard, it's kind of sad.”
“We can't all be blessed with my chiseled jawline,” Elliott joked.
“Indeed, maybe next time I'll practice kissing that,” Clint continued.
The butterflies that had been roosting in Elliott’s stomach imploded. “I'm going to be honest with you, kisses on my jawline are one of my favorites.”
“What are your other favorites?”
“You'll have to find out,” Elliott said, squeezing his hand.
“And can you teach me Emily’s favorite things too?”
And the butterflies died. Elliott cursed them, but pushed on, not wanting to seem like he was dropping the act.
“Of course! That's the whole point of this. She's going to be so obsessed with you.”
Clint sat up, and Elliott followed.
“You really think so?” Clint asked.
“I know so. You're basically ready, we just have to get you to the finish line.”
“You're the best,” Clint said, giving Elliott a hug, then standing. “I need to get going, but come hang out tomorrow, I have to stay in the shop all day.”
Elliott followed Clint to the door, and there was an awkward moment, the air tense. Should he kiss Clint goodbye? Would that be too weird? Too earnest? Too real?
In the end, Clint made the decision by opening the door and waving goodbye, slipping out before Elliott could waffle any longer.
Elliott let the door close, counting to thirty under his breath, hoping that was enough time for Clint to get up to the bridge and out of hearing range. Just in case, he went back to his bed and stuffed his face into a pillow.
“FUUUUUCK!” Elliott screamed into the pillow. He wanted to cry. This was bad, this was SO bad.
He had spent thirty minutes kissing Clint dozens of times and with each kiss he knew he was damning himself just a little bit further. When they had come back to the cabin, Elliott had a crush he hadn't been able to admit to himself, but now he had no choice.
He rolled onto his back, tears pricking his eyes. He had really done it now.
“I'm so, so fucked.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Summer 14“I just feel so stupid,” Elliott said, lying face up on the floor of Leah’s house.On the nearby bed, Leah and Riley were both perched with their chins resting on their hands, looking down at their distressed friend. Elliott’s cheeks burned from the shame of finally unloading his problems after trying and failing for two days to keep it bottled up inside. At first, he thought his crush would get less intense if he was removed from the act of kissing Clint after the Luau, that in the cold light of morning he would remember that it was all an act, and that there was an overarching goal of rehabilitating Clint’s public image and getting him the girl he had been yearning for since before Clint even knew Elliott existed.Elliott had tried to compartmentalize the problem by pouring his feelings into his writing, because there was no greater driver of beautiful prose than angst and anguish. He had moved his work from his handwritten outline to a typed document, tapping out almost fifteen thousand words in the last two days as he described the yearning of his protagonists. In writing their story, looking at it from a bird’s eye view, he had hoped to see his problem in miniature, reducing it to a plot point instead of a consuming factor in his life. He had prayed that writing from the perspective of Flint, the character that stood in for Clint, he would become better acquainted with the motivations of romancing the barmaid and become more excited about the prospect of getting Clint to that finish line.In the end, it hadn’t worked. If anything, writing through Flint’s eyes had made his crush on Clint worse. Every time he interacted with Clint the last two days, in his shop, at the saloon, on a walk by the tidepools, Elliott’s emotions felt out of control. He maintained a calm and collected surface, not wanting to be open with Clint about what was going on, but inside it was turmoil.When Elliott had finally texted Leah that he needed to come over and give her updates, she had immediately clocked that he had kissed Clint. The details, however, had shocked her as Elliott, slowly sinking to the floor on which he now lay, had spilled his guts about everything in his head. She still wore a look of disbelief as she peered down at him from her spot on the bed.“First of all,” she finally started, “I cannot believe you waited two days to tell me you guys kissed. Was my threat of an awl in the eye insufficient?”Elliott groaned and covered his face.“I mean, can you blame him? He’s all fucked up inside,” Riley said, taking the more casual approach to the problem, “even the most external of processors want to keep things to themselves while they spin through them sometimes.”Elliott, who definitely identified as the king of external processing, pointed an agreeing finger toward Riley, shaking it for emphasis. “That, yep,” he said, voice still slightly muffled by his other hand still pressed to his face.“I mean, you’ve already done what I probably would have told you to do if you had come to me the first time,” Leah said thoughtfully, “I would have told you to make a playlist filled with all the feelings you’re feeling, cry a little, and go on a writing blitz.”“I didn’t make a playlist, weirdly,” Elliott admitted. Maybe that’s what he was missing. “I should do that, though, I just didn’t take enough of a break from writing to think about it. I was either at my computer typing or with Clint the last 48 hours.”“Have you kissed at all since the other night?” Riley asked.“No, we haven’t. Just held hands. I think Clint is probably waiting on me to initiate any kissing that goes on, honestly, which I should talk to him about since he can’t do that in an actual relationship or Emily will get annoyed.”“Do you think kissing him more would get it out of your system?” Leah asked.“I kind of doubt it, if it’s anything like the other night it’ll just leave me wanting more, which isn’t good.”“Is he that good of a kisser? I always assumed it would be kind of gross.”“I mean he started off pretty rough,” Elliott admitted, “he kept his eyes open a lot, which, like, I’d want to look at me too if I was kissing myself, but it’s a little weird.”“Did he use way too much tongue?” Leah asked, a pitying tone in her voice.Elliott opened one of his eyes to look at her, raising the respective eyebrow. “There was no way I was going to try and teach him to make out on night one,” he deadpanned, “I literally just taught him how to give a passable, very basic kiss. There was as much instruction as there was actual lip action, but by the end I was having a lot of fun.”“By the end?” Riley teased, “it sounds like you were having fun the whole time.”“I mean, yeah, I guess, but it was more fun at the end,” Elliott admitted, “he’s eager to learn, so he implements changes quickly.”“I mean, I could have figured that just from the way he’s changed socially over the last few weeks,” Leah responded, “He actually looked me in the eye when saying hello to me the other day, and he asked me about my new project. Like, he remembered what I was working on and showed genuine interest. Maru said the same thing when I was talking to her the other day, she said being with you is the best thing to ever happen to Clint.”“Well that goes without saying,” Elliott said, managing a halfhearted hair flip from the floor, resulting in half the hair on his head sprawling out around him like a half-halo. He couldn’t afford to stop complimenting himself in these circumstances. Best to keep his own morale up so he didn’t feel like he was groveling for Clint’s attention. Emily might be Clint’s object of devotion, but Elliott needed to remind himself that he was the center of his own universe.“I feel like I need to be honest with Clint,” Elliott said, pushing himself up from his elbows, “I told him I would always tell him directly how I was thinking and feeling, so he could understand the impact his words and actions were having, but I also worry that if I do tell him, he won’t want to continue this for fear of hurting me, or himself.”“Aren’t you going to get hurt either way?” Leah questioned, looking concerned.“I mean at this point? Yeah. Unless I somehow become disenchanted with him which to be frank has never happened before, I’m going to get my heart stepped on at some point,” Elliott sighed, “but that just makes me want to extend this out for longer so I can scrape up a little more happiness before the inevitable.”“Hear me out,” Riley chimed in, “what if Emily doesn’t end up wanting to date Clint? What if she genuinely doesn’t like him like that. Are you two just going to keep this up forever? What’s going to happen?”Elliott’s stomach twisted. He hadn’t considered that a possibility. He had ultimate faith in his ability to make this happen. “I don’t know,” he finally answered, “I think it’s going to work, so I haven’t planned for that, but if it doesn’t then we will discuss it once we get there.”“Okay, and what if Clint’s feeling the same things you are? Chemistry doesn’t exist in a vacuum, you know. He might be primarily thinking about Emily, but I feel like if you kiss someone enough times, eventually your brain starts to rewire itself.”“We’re talking about Clint, here,” Elliott said, now sitting all the way up, “Mr Everyone-in-Town-Knows-He-is-Creepily-Obsessed. This is a true obsession. He wants her so bad he agreed to my insane plan in order to get it. He is single minded. Also, I see the way he still looks at her when we go to the saloon together. If he was having doubts, she wouldn’t still be the stars in his eyes.” He knew that last part sounded melodramatic, but it drove home his point.Riley nodded his understanding, and Leah just sighed.“I feel bad for you,” she said, resting her head on Riley’s shoulder, “I just want to make it all better for you, make him fall in love with you, or make you forget you ever had this crush, or maybe just make him do something that gives you the ick and then you don’t have to worry about it anymore.”Elliott shrugged. “I wish I understood better how he feels, but I feel like there’s no way for me to ask without opening myself up to have to tell him everything I’ve told you guys.”“Well,” Riley started, “I am going to need his help on kind of a big project soon, so I’ll be spending a good amount of time with him one on one, or at least one on one plus Robin. Maybe I can ask about how he’s doing with it. If he asks me not to tell you, I’m going to respect his wishes, of course, but at least it’ll get him thinking about it.”Elliott’s eyes opened wide, “that would be awesome, actually. I would never want you to break someone’s trust, but if I had a chance…”“You got it, then,” Riley said, doing finger guns at Elliott.“What’s the project you’re using him for, anyway?”Summer 16For the past two days, Clint had been frantically forging fixtures and creating wrought-iron decor for Pam and Penny’s brand new house. Commissioned by Riley, it was Robin’s brainchild, and she was building like it was her last day on earth. With an airtight plan and the full support of the town, Riley had sent Penny and Pam away on a mother-daughter retreat in the city, which would probably be good for them, but mostly as a ruse to get them away from Pelican Town while their trailer was hauled away and their new, gorgeous home took its place.Robin had explained that she had the blueprints approved months ago, hoping to get around to financing it one day. When Riley had offered his help and funds, it had been a no-brainer for them to go ahead with it, or at least that was how it was explained to Clint. Why it had needed to be such a secret before then was a mystery to him. Surely he could have used a little more time to get everything together that he would need to contribute. Just making the wrought iron balusters took hours, and they were (blessedly) not even that complicated of a design.Clint had been working every waking hour since Riley came to him and presented the plan. Elliott occasionally came by to say hello and be sure Clint was eating, but Clint was wholly invested in his work, and had little time for socializing. Sometimes in the few seconds before he fell asleep, Clint thought about how impressed Emily would be when she learned how much he helped with the house, how impressed she would be with Clint’s work and generosity. Surely he was getting closer to his goals.Oddly, in between thoughts of Emily came thoughts of Elliott. Since the night they had kissed, Clint had been concerned that he was developing deeper feelings for Elliott than he had anticipated. He didn’t consider himself a very emotional guy, so it had been easy to write those feelings off as just a strong friendship for a while, but now, especially when he was closest to sleep, Clint would imagine if Elliott was there with him, giving him a kiss on top of his head as they curled up together and fell asleep. It was more of a companionable fantasy than anything, Clint justified to himself, but it was there, and it was a comfort in those moments. Maybe too much of a comfort, but he wouldn’t let himself think that direction.Now, as Clint sat back and watched Robin install doors and stair rails using the specialized fixtures he created for the home, he was finally able to breathe again, letting thoughts that didn’t involve a hammer and a roaring forge seep back into his brain. It felt like stretching a sore muscle. He had gone all-in the last few days, and now that it was over he felt the inertia lurch him forward into reality.“You did a great job on these,” Robin said as she fitted the stair rail on top of the balusters, “I wish you had lived here when I built my house, a lot of my hinges are just not holding up the way the ones you made will. Mass produced just can’t beat the care of a master smith.”Clint felt his chest swell with pride. No one had ever called him a master of anything before. “I mean, I’m not technically master rank yet, as far as my guild goes,” Clint hedged, “but maybe in a few years I can submit an application to advance.”“I think you definitely should,” Robin said, “and, you know, Sebastian wants to move out of the house soon, and wants me to build him his own place over by the quarry. If you’re game, I would love to get your help with the metalworks just like you did here.”Clint sucked in a sharp breath. Construction forging like he had done here was specialized and well regarded. The project would definitely advance his standing as a smith. “I would love that,” Clint said, beaming, “Do me a favor, though, give me more than two days to put everything together?”Robin laughed, “Yeah, don’t worry about that, you’ll have plenty of lead time. Sebastian is only in the beginning stages of thinking through what his life is going to look like, or at least I hope he is.”“What do you mean?” Clint asked, cocking his head.“Well,” Robin started, her eyes darting around to make sure no one else was around, “You have to keep this to yourself for now, but Seb has been seeing someone, and they’ve been talking about starting a life together.”Clint squinted, trying to think of who Sebastian could be dating so seriously. “It’s not Abigail, is it?”Robin laughed, and the laughter rang through the empty great room where they were working, “no, no, he’s actually with Alex, if you can believe it.”Clint’s jaw dropped. “I thought they couldn’t stand each other!”“Yeah, they were awful to each other as teenagers, but I guess as adults something just snapped into place. I kind of figure they were partly mean to each other because they were attracted to one another and didn’t know how to deal with it until they matured a little more,” she said, one final shove of the handrail locking it into place, “they haven’t gone public because they’re still figuring some things out themselves, but they’re pretty serious. In fact, it makes me nervous how fast they’re thinking about moving in together.”“Moving in… wow,” Clint repeated, trying to picture Alex the jock and Sebastian the emo computer programmer cooking dinner together.“Yeah, it scares me a little bit, honestly. I moved in with and got married to Sebastian’s father really quickly, and obviously that didn’t go well. I just don’t want him to make the same mistake,” Robin said, standing back to appraise her work on the stair railing.Clint didn’t know much about Sebastian’s father. He had seen the man before at different town events or on Sebastian’s birthdays. He seemed really nice, but there must be more to the story. “Why did you get married so quickly?” He couldn’t help but ask.Robin set down her drill and looked at him, her eyes softening noticeably. “It’s a long story, but what it comes down to, and what I’m sure you’ve experienced, is that at the beginning of a relationship you feel like you’re on top of the world, like you’ve found a person in your life who likes you the same way you like them and that the case is open and shut.”Clint swallowed hard. Was she trying to imply that he must feel that way with Elliott?“As time goes on, though, relationships change, and if you realize you started out being one person in a relationship, you can alienate yourself to the relationship when things get hard. That’s what happened to me and Charlie. There was no cheating, no violence, nothing bad. We just weren’t the right person for one another. We didn’t function as a team, we never had, so when difficulties came up, it broke us. We stayed together a lot longer than we should have for Sebastian’s sake, but eventually we realized it wasn’t healthy for anyone involved.”Clint considered. “Do you feel like you’re on a team with Demetrius?”Robin’s concern broke into a grin. “Yeah, from really early on it was totally different with him. I know people think he’s really rigid, and that has definitely been a conflict, but we just operate differently together. We’re so different, but in some ways, the ways that matter, we have one mind.”“That’s really nice,” Clint said, trying to match her smile.“It is. And, I mean, you can tell me it’s none of my business or whatever, but do you feel like you and Elliott are a team?” She asked.Clint froze.“Sorry,” she said, seeing his obvious discomfort, “forget I asked.”“No, no, sorry, it’s okay, I just hadn’t thought about it that much,” Clint responded, horrified that he might have made the conversation turn weird, “I think we are a good team, actually. We have a lot of the same goals, and when he’s around I know I have someone who’s going to be on my side no matter what. It’s really nice.” He was startled at how much truth their was to his words.“I’m glad to hear that,” Robin said, “and if you don’t mind me saying, I think he’s been a good influence on you. You seem more comfortable with yourself since you two started dating.”“Yeah, I am,” Clint agreed, feeling his cheeks get hot, “He’s really showed me new sides of myself that I didn’t know existed,” like the side of him that could flirt, or the side of him that thought kissing another man was really fun, or the side of him that he could almost admit felt molten lava in his stomach when Elliott smiled at him.“Good, just remember not to rush things,” Robin said, looking at Clint pointedly, “if you’re really in love with someone, you want to make absolutely sure that they’re the one before you get more involved. Trust me, it’s a lot less complicated to break up than it is to get a divorce.”“Well hey there, folks,” Riley suddenly said, popping into the unfinished room from outside, “How’s the building going?”“Great! I think we’re ready for paint and carpets!” Robin said, knocking on the drywall she, Alex, and Sam had hung later that morning.“Excellent,” Riley said, smile bright, “I’ll prime the sprayer and get that in here for you in a minute! Clint, could I chat with you one on one for a second?”Clint’s face must have communicated his confusion as Riley patted him on the back as he whisked Clint away to the kitchen, which had just been tiled and was waiting for appliances.“Sorry, I’m just nosy and I just needed to know,” Riley said, almost breathless as he turned to face Clint, “were you just talking about marrying Elliott?”Clint’s stomach dropped, “Oh gosh, no, I wasn’t, Robin was, it was awkward, I don’t know,” he stammered, not sure how to explain himself.“Oh, okay,” Riley said, and Clint couldn’t help but feel like he looked upset about it.“Why? Do I seem like I’m too into it or something?” Clint asked, afraid that maybe his baby crush was showing through, “I can chill out if I need to, I just thought we were doing a good job of looking realistic, you know?” Yoba above this felt awkward, even for Clint.“No, no, don’t change anything,” Riley said, “I just made inferences based on what Robin was saying and couldn’t help myself from wondering if you were falling for Elliott for real.”Clint bit the inside of his cheek, but shook his head, “no, I wouldn’t want to put him in that position,” he said, “he’s been so kind to me, I’m sure you know from Leah, but he’s even helped me practice kissing, I would never want to make him uncomfortable like that. We’re sticking with the plan.”Riley’s eyes narrowed. “Clint, do you have feelings for him?”Clint felt like a deer in headlights. “I, uh, I mean, please don’t say anything to him, or to Leah, you have to promise you never heard anything,” he said urgently, desperately.Riley put a hand on Clint’s shoulder. “I’m always a man of my word, I won’t breathe a word of this conversation to anyone,” there was a gleam in his eye that made Clint think he was excited to hear what Clint was about to say, but if he promised…“Including in writing, text messages, and all other forms of communication both verbal and nonverbal,” Clint said, thinking that he had better close his loopholes.Riley laughed, “I’m not a genie or a lawyer, I will go with the intent of what you mean, don’t worry.”Clint sighed. “I’m more into him than I expected to be, I guess, but it doesn’t matter.”“Why doesn’t it matter?”“Elliott is a friend helping me out. We have a goal for me to get a girlfriend and for him to get a bestselling book, that’s all this is. But I mean, have you seen or talked to the guy? I think it’s impossible not to fall for him a little bit.”Riley nodded, eyes going a little vacant. “Yeah, I know how that is. I had a thing for him at one point. He even invited me out on a boat ride together, but I got scared and stood him up. He forgave me, and obviously we’re still friends, but yeah, I mean, I get it.”Clint frowned. “Why did you stand him up?”“I don’t really have words to explain it,” Riley shrugged, “I felt like a jerk, but I also felt like I was leading him on. He feels everything so intensely, and it scared me that I might not measure up. I knew my feelings weren’t as strong as his, and I still wanted to explore other options, so I just ended it.”Clint hummed his understanding, and they stood there looking at each other for a moment. “Did you ever kiss him?” He finally asked.Riley snorted, “no, no I didn’t. Sometimes I regret that, because I can imagine it would be great, but I didn’t want to do that to him. Something about actually kissing someone tends to make feelings a lot more real, because it kind of either clicks or it doesn’t, and sometimes it clicks for one person and not the other, and then that’s just the worst.”Clint wondered if Elliott had felt the same click as he had.“Do you ever think you might end up liking Elliott more than Emily?” Riley asked suddenly.“You’re full of difficult questions today,” Clint said, looking down at his boots.“You keep answering them,” Riley replied.“I guess I could see a world where that happens, but I also feel like I owe it to myself to go for Emily as much as possible,” Clint sighed, “no matter how long Elliott and I continue this, I’m always going to have her in my mind, it’s just been a constant like that for years, almost two decades at this point. That doesn’t just go away because I kissed a guy once, even if he is my best friend.”Riley sighed, “I hope it works out the way you want.”“I hope so too.”Summer 17“Clint, I can’t believe you made all these beautiful pieces,” Penny cooed as she walked through her new home. Pam was upstairs in her new room, occasional noises coming from that region of the home suggesting she might be crying, but everyone was pretending they didn’t hear anything. Elliott stood a respectful distance away from Clint as he took Penny’s copious praise. He was so proud of his fake boyfriend for working so hard to create a new home for the two women who definitely needed the change, and definitely glad the project was over so they could get back to normal life.Every time Elliott had seen Clint over the past few days, it was like Elliott wasn’t even there, like Clint was looking through him. He tried not to take it personally, since Clint was basically straight up ignoring everyone else besides Riley and Robin as the three frantically tried to get everything ready in the time limit. Elliott had even given Clint a few pecks on the cheek over that time as he came to bring food or made sure he was plenty hydrated, and it seemed like he didn’t even notice. Clint had been like a machine, it was both concerning as well as kind of cute and admirable.Though Elliott had been able to fight off the empty feeling in his chest left by not being able to have normal conversations or interactions with Clint, he hadn’t felt so much strain as he did now, watching Penny aggressively flirt with the smith. It was a subtle kind of aggressive. Penny was meek and demure, and would never say anything that could be considered too forward, but for all her humility, she was laying it on thick. Elliott thought Clint might even be able to tell she was making moves at him, which was saying something for how intense it was. Clint kept shooting Elliott looks that were almost pained, like he didn’t know what to say.Elliott sat back and watched the scene unfold, partly because this was Penny’s day to celebrate and have a lot of emotions happening inside her, partly because he was so curious what Clint would do. At least, until Penny reached out and took Clint’s hand in both of her own as she continued her effusive compliments. It was a move that would have been cute if a granny did it, but it made Elliott’s chest hurt. He wanted to stalk forward and brush her hands off. If this was a real relationship, Penny would be disrespecting it, disrespecting Elliott. Then again, she thought it was a real relationship.Elliott gritted his teeth and allowed the scene to play out, watching Clint smile and slowly tug his hand out of her grip before patting her on the upper arm. “I’m so glad you like everything, but it’s really Robin you should be complimenting, it was all her design,” he was saying, and Elliott smirked at his deflection.‘Good grief,’ he thought, ‘when did I get so jealous and vindictive?’“Everything going okay?” Robin said as she swept back downstairs, “sorry, I was just checking on your mom,” she said to Penny, “she’s a little overwhelmed but I think she likes it!”“Oh, Robin, I cannot tell you how grateful I am!” Penny squealed.Clint made eye contact with Elliott, then looked at the door. Elliott smiled and walked over to grab Clint’s hand.“I’m sorry to steal the steelworker,” Elliott said, proud of his pun, “but we need to run, so I’ll leave you two to your chats.” He tugged Clint’s hand lightly and escorted him out the door and into the evening air.“Thank you,” Clint whispered as the door closed behind them, “I thought she was going to trap me there.”Elliott snorted a laugh as they took off toward Clint’s shop.“I didn’t realize Penny had a thing for you,” Elliott said, trying to force his voice to stay light and carefree instead of as bitter as he felt over the interaction.“Okay, I’m glad I wasn’t just going crazy,” Clint said, breathing out a sigh, “I don’t think I’ve ever had someone flirt with me that hard, but she’s so cutesy about it, I was questioning myself as to whether I just thought I was a lot more suave than I actually am.”“Oh, no, she was definitely flirting,” Elliott confirmed, “so, hey, if Emily doesn’t work out there’s another option for you.”Clint was quiet for a moment. “I mean, she is pretty,” he said, and Elliott’s heart sank a little, “but I don’t see myself going for it, I couldn’t live with myself knowing my mother in law had tried to kiss me.” The two men giggled, and Elliott tried to picture what that night must have looked like.“Eyes on the prize, though, right?” Clint said, looking at Elliott, “I am still laser focused on Emily, that’s not going to change.”Elliott nodded. “Of course.”They had reached Clint’s door, night was starting to set in and the crickets were chirping.“Do you want to come in for a bit?” Clint offered, going for the doorknob.Elliott bit his lip, thinking for a moment. Realistically, he should probably get home, but the allure of hanging out with Clint a little longer was too strong. He nodded, and followed Clint inside. They were greeted by a cold forge and a spotless room. Clint stared.“Why is it so clean in here?” He asked, looking suspiciously at Elliott.Elliott threw his hands up, “I just figured since you were so busy for the last few days, sleeping in the new house and all, I would come here and tidy up so you had a clean place to land once all the work was done.”Clint’s eyes shimmered a little. “That’s a ton of work, though,” he said, running his hand over his table as he walked back into the living area, “I mean, it was a mess, and I’m sure there was soot all over.”Elliott shrugged. “I was happy to do it for a friend. I’m just glad to have you back after getting zombie blacksmith for a few days there.”Clint smiled sheepishly. “I’m sorry, I was just so stressed about getting things done on time, it really felt like I only had time to think about the work and nothing else. I told Robin I didn’t ever want to be on a schedule like that again, though, I recognize it wasn’t super healthy or normal.”“But you did a lovely job of everything,” Elliott reminded him, taking a seat on Clint’s bed, “and Pam and Penny will never forget it. I’m sure they’ll both think of you whenever they see that railing.” He put a teasing emphasis on ‘railing’, and Clint groaned.“Gross, dude,” he said, rolling his eyes.Elliott guffawed at his own joke, feeling some catharsis at making fun of the tension.“Like I said, I’m just glad to have you back.”Clint sat down next to him. “I missed you too, I think, it was kind of a mental time warp, but I was always appreciative when you came around.”“It seemed like you hardly noticed me,” Elliott said, cursing the hint of sadness that crept into his voice, “I even kissed you on the cheek in front of Robin and you didn’t even freak out.”“Honestly, I don’t remember that happening,” Clint said, blushing, “you really did it in front of Robin?”“I know, so embarrassing that your boyfriend would show you some affection,” Elliott joked, followed by more than a few seconds of uncomfortable silence.“So, um,” Clint started, and Elliott looked up into his eyes, “about that affection.”Elliott raised an eyebrow.“Since I didn’t get to register all those cheek kisses, you could redo them for me,” Clint’s face was bright red, but his voice sounded confident.Elliott grinned, a thrill shooting through his blood, and leaned in to peck Clint on the cheek.“Did you only do it the once?” Clint asked, reaching for Elliott’s hand.“No, it was a few times I think,” Elliott responded, pressing another kiss onto Clint’s other cheek, then his nose, then both his cheeks again.Clint repeated the exact same pattern on Elliott’s own face, and Elliott thought he might suddenly sprout wings and start flying.“You did great at that, no notes,” Elliott whispered, not able to wipe the smile off his face.“Maybe we can see if I remember things from the other night, as well?” Clint suggested, his eyes questioning Elliott for permission to proceed.Elliott nodded, his heart now pounding at the speed of light, and braced himself as Clint pressed a soft kiss to his lips, and then amazingly, horrifically, painfully, perfectly, drawing his lips to Elliott’s jaw and kissing up his jawline to just under his ear, where he paused for a moment before working his way down to Elliott’s shoulder.Elliott couldn’t think. He had to be dreaming. Where did this even come from? It felt like all the nerves in his body had flown to his face and neck, as if they were drawn to Clint’s lips like magnets. Before he could stop it, Elliott moaned, and was catapulted out of his reverie by Clint immediately pulling away.Realizing what he had done, Elliott slapped his hand over his mouth, horrified.“Oh my word, I’m so sorry,” Elliott said, feeling like he was about to cry. There was no way that moan had communicated ‘just guys being dudes’. This was about to be bad.“No, I’m sorry,” Clint said, looking panicked, “I didn’t mean to hurt you!”“Hurt… me?” Elliott repeated, confused.“Yeah, you, I, did that not hurt? It sounded like it hurt.” Clint said, hand out as if he was afraid to touch Elliott.“No, no, Clint it didn’t hurt at all,” Elliott said, shaken, “I made that noise because it felt good, it happens sometimes when you’re kissing, or doing other things, I guess.”“Oh… OH,” Clint said, realization dawning on his face, “I mean, that’s good though, isn’t it?”“Is it?”“Isn’t it?”“I just, I thought you would freak out that I reacted like that, like it would make things weird,” Elliott admitted.“I mean, I’m trying to practice being a good boyfriend,” Clint said slowly, “so isn’t it good that I can make you feel like that?”Elliott looked into Clint’s eyes, mouth agape, not sure what to say in return.“Stop me if I’m going overboard, but I’ve been reading your other books to try and get some ideas,” Clint said, leaning in again, “don’t you like that I know how to make you feel good?”Elliott’s mind was going a million miles an hour. If he was reading, then he knew what Elliott liked, since he wrote from experience, and if Clint’s plan was to start doing those things, Elliott was doomed. There was no other way to put it, and at that point there was nothing else to do but surrender as Clint wrapped his arms around Elliott’s body and pulled him close, peppering his face with more tiny kisses.What felt like hours later, Clint sat with his back up against the wall on the bed, Elliott’s head resting on his thigh as Clint slowly stroked Elliott’s hair.“And be really careful not to accidentally yank a small amount of hairs, or just one hair. That's the worst,” Elliott instructed, “pulling a lot of hair at once feels pretty nice, though, especially if you're pulling close to someone's head, because that doesn't yank your head around as much. Some people like being yanked around though so that's something to keep in mind as well.”Elliott felt unbearably content. They hadn't even kissed for that long, and it still didn't approach what he considered a makeout, but after days of uncertainty it felt like an anchor for his heart. He tried not to think about the unspoken words he should be saying Clint, or the fact that his feelings had deepened over the last hour or so, or the physical reactions he had and knew that Clint had also been having while they kissed. All of that was on the back burner, problems to be dealt with later. Right now he was only thinking about Clint’s soft thigh under his cheek and Clint’s large, rough hands playing with his hair. It was a perfect moment and he wouldn't let anything ruin it, not even his own traitorous heart.“Elliott?” Clint’s voice sounded worried, wavering a little. Elliott’s contentment evaporated.“What's up?” He asked, trying to keep an even tone.“This isn't going to make things weird, is it? The fact that we act like this even when no one is watching? Like, I don't know, we act like we’re actually dating, you know?”Shit.“Do you think it's going to be weird?” Elliott probed.“I don't know, I just don't want to make you uncomfortable, I guess,” Clint sounded genuinely worried.Elliott sighed. “I worry about the same thing, honestly, I know I say I don't but I do. I worry that we’re going to get so close and then you're going to start dating Emily and it's going to be really weird. I worry that we’re going to get attached to each other, and then if we get to stay friends, Emily will get suspicious or hurt.” It felt good to say the words, but Elliott worried about the consequences of putting them out into the world.“I've thought about that,” said Clint, “and I don't know what I'm going to do. You mean a lot to me.”They were silent for a while, and Clint’s hand wandered to stroke Elliott’s jaw.“I think we just keep going,” Elliott said, “I think it's going to be difficult to navigate, but we’ll figure it out.”“Do we need to stop being like this when we’re alone?” Clint asked, and Elliott could hear the reluctance in his voice. Oh boy.“I don't think so,” he said slowly, “you do need to learn how to be a good boyfriend in private, not just in public.”“I agree,” Clint said, a little too quickly.Elliott’s heart strained. Clint liked him back, Elliott realized. They were going to hurt each other so bad, but if it meant getting to feel like this, Elliott would take all the hurt in the world.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Summer 20“I’m so glad to see you boys out here!” Willy called as Clint and Elliott entered the forest, fishing poles in tow, “I love seeing so many young anglers out here, makes me feel like the craft ain’t dead yet.”Clint did not love getting dragged to a fishing event, but Elliott wanted to come and Clint wanted to be with Elliott, so it wasn’t really much of a choice. Clint hadn’t been fishing since he was a little kid when his uncle took him out to the lake on his little boat. He didn’t remember much from the day, outside of being bored out of his mind and his uncle explaining to him that the weird, musty smell was actually the smell of gnats. As long as he lived, he could never get over the idea that gnats, of all things, smelled so weird.“Can’t think of anything better than a day along the river!” Elliott replied to Willy. Elliott, normally so composed, looked like a little kid with his overly large tackle box and his pole bags slung over his shoulder. Clint had offered to carry some of the load, but Elliott had insisted upon doing it himself, since he was the one who initiated the day of “fun”.“I’m set up on the little island on the east side of the river,” Willy said, pointing, “I’d be happy for the company, if you care to hang out with an old timer. I won’t get in the way of your lovebird lake day, though,” he winked.“I was actually just telling Elliott this morning that I was looking forward to an excuse to get to know you better,” Clint said, rattling off the line Elliott scripted for him like it was the most natural thing in the world. He saw Elliott smile at him out of the corner of his eye.“I can’t promise you’ll get to know me too well, but I can sure tell you a lot of stories about myself that may or may not be true,” Willy laughed, “some people say a fisherman’s tales are just ‘telling lies’, I say they’re a way of keeping yourself shrouded in a little mystery.”“Works for me,” Clint replied, slapping the fisherman jovially on the back, feeling awkward about the gesture. Elliott had drilled him so many times on the proper timing, pressure, and speed at which to slap people on the back for the appropriate chummy effect, he crossed his fingers he executed properly in practice.“You kids are in for it, now. I’m going to go say hello to the derby judge, but I’ll see you in a bit.” Willy left Clint and Elliott standing there, looking out over the water.“Shall we?” Elliott said, gesturing toward the bridge leading to the island. Clint nodded, grabbing the hand that wasn’t holding the tackle box and leading Elliott over the bridge.“How long have you been fishing, exactly?” Clint asked as he watched Elliott set his fishing rod up, trying to match his actions on the rod he was supposed to be using.“Honestly, just since I moved here,” Elliott said, stringing the line through the top of the pole, “When I first moved into the cabin, Willy helped me out with a lot of things, and learning to fish from him was just a natural result of spending time with him. Before he offered his help, I didn’t know the first thing about living on the beach. There are a lot of considerations you have to make that you wouldn’t in a house that’s not constantly exposed to sand and ocean spray. Without him, my door hinges would have rusted right off before I even got the outline of my first book finished.”“I never thought about that,” Clint mused, “I guess you would need to be really careful. Did you not research that kind of thing before moving into that house?”“The only thing I researched before moving here was what the scenery looked like, to be honest with you. I was very taken in by my fantasy of coming to live in a quaint town by the sea and getting all my inspiration from the surroundings. I’ve always been prone to over-romanticizing things, and that was no exception. Thankfully it worked out, but I think a lot about what could have happened if people hadn’t been there for me.”Clint hummed. “I wish I could remember more about when you first moved to town, but honestly I’ve always just spent so much of my time with my head down, doing my own thing.”“You did offer to help me move furniture, if I ever needed it,” Elliott reminded him, now tensioning his reel, which Clint was having a nightmare of a time with, “I remember thinking you were very kind, but that you seemed like you were always busy with something, so I never asked.”Clint shrugged. As if he was ever actually busy, aside from the previous week. He did spend a lot of time trying to look busy, though, so people thought he was just too pressed for time to bother making too many friends. After how much time he had spent with Elliott, lately, he doubted he would be able to go back to that. It was pretty obvious at this point that his only real responsibility most of the time was to break rocks for Riley and follow his gorgeous writer boyfriend around. Having more friends sounded nice, though, he had to admit.“Well, if you ever do need to move furniture, or need anything else heavy lifted around, now you know I’m pretty much always available.”“You can lift me around any time you want,” Elliott teased.“Don’t say that when we’re right next to a lake, I’ll toss you in” Clint replied, sticking his tongue out at Elliott.“And then I’ll pretend to drown and you can give me mouth to mouth in front of all these people,” Elliott shot back.“They actually stopped recommending mouth to mouth for CPR several years ago,” Clint sighed, “it’s just chest compressions now.”“Pity.”“Yes, please take pity on me and help me finish setting this rod up. I even looked up Youtube videos on how to do it last night but it’s not working,” Clint said, grunting and holding the pole out for Elliott.Elliott grinned and grabbed the fishing rod, “There’s a dirty joke in here about fixing your rod-”“But you’re too much of a gentleman to make it,” Clint finished for him.“Ah come on, that’s one of my few good jokes, you can’t take that away from me,” Elliott pouted, expertly setting Clint’s reel up.“Maybe if you learned to just say the dirty jokes, you’d have more jokes in general,” Clint said, teasingly snatching his fishing pole back.“Maybe someday, it just doesn’t sound natural coming out of my mouth,” Elliott said, sighing and turning to his tacklebox.Clint stifled a giggle.“What?” Elliott shot back at him, looking annoyed. Clint shrunk a little, afraid that he was actually going to piss Elliott off. Elliott hadn’t seemed angry at him in a while and he wanted to keep it that way.“It’s just, you said,” stuttered Clint.Elliott squinted, and then realization dawned on his face. “Doesn’t sound natural coming out of my mouth. Yeah.”Clint smiled. “You gonna make the joke?” He doubted Elliott would actually do it, but a little goading didn’t hurt.Elliott bit his lip, eyes casting around as if he was deep in thought. “I’d prefer you coming in my mouth, as opposed to out of it.”Clint’s jaw dropped for a moment, and then he let out a roar of a laugh. He had expected that if Elliott made a joke at all, it would be fairly tame and would stick to the idea of brushing off the concept of things in his mouth, so this was entirely unexpected. Elliott had been correct that it sounded weird coming from him. The proper grammar and prim tone of voice were so incongruous with the nature of the joke, but that didn’t stop it from being funny. By the time Clint recovered from his laughter, Elliott’s face was bright red.“You really got me on that one,” Clint said, his cheeks and sides hurting, “I didn’t know you had it in you.”Elliott grimaced. “I don’t feel great about it, but I’m happy to be entertaining.”“Give it time. If you’re hanging out with me for too long soon you’ll be a dirty joke pro.”“You don’t really tell dirty jokes, though,” Elliott remarked, and Clint watched as he pulled his arm back and then sent his fishing lure sailing through the sky to land with a “bloop” in the water a ways off.Clint shrugged. “I guess I think them more than I say them out loud. It’s easier when I’m just around friends, but I don’t have a ton of friends here.” Clint tried to emulate the movement Elliott had just done to cast his line, but his lure just fell at his feet. He sighed and reeled it back in.“But we’re close and you don’t say those things around me,” Elliott said, eyeing Clint’s lure as it reset at the end of his rod.“You’re my boyfriend, though,” Clint said, feeling a little twist in his stomach at the words, “I’m supposed to be charming and romantic with you, not crass and disgusting.” He tried to cast again, getting the lure into the water this time, though it was only about a foot from the shore. He reeled it back in again.“Here, let me help you,” Elliott said, propping his own fishing rod up on the ground. He moved behind Clint, wrapping his arms around him to hold the pole, Elliott’s hands covering Clint’s hands. It was a little more awkward than Clint might have hoped, given that Elliott’s arms were not much longer than his own.“Pretend you’re aiming into the sky, not the water,” Elliott advised, “at first, anyway.” He pulled the rod back, showed Clint where to position his thumb on the reel, and then slung the rod forward hard. It was an awkward motion for two grown men to try and perform together, but it worked well enough, and the line went hurtling through the air and into the water, coming just short of where Elliott’s bobber was sitting.Clint barely noticed the lure hitting the water. The way Elliott was holding him, their faces were touching, and he could feel Elliott’s smile against his cheek. He had to admit, it gave him butterflies.“Fantastic cast, boys,” Willy said, approaching from the north, “Not sure it’s a two person job, but it worked out.”Clint blushed, and stepped away from Elliott. “I haven’t cast a line since I was a kid, and even then, I think my uncle did it for me most times.”Willy smiled, “Your uncle have any good fishing stories?”“Oh boy, did he ever,” Clint started.A couple hours later, Willy had caught three fish and Elliott and Clint had worked together to bring in one fish that had bit on Clint’s line. Willy insisted that was a decent number for the area being as busy as it was with anglers, but Clint was frustrated that the fish he caught hadn’t even been a trout.“I want one of those stupid golden tags,” Clint complained, “the prizes at these kinds of things are always good!”“Not always,” Willy said, hauling in his fourth fish of the day, “plus most of the time the prizes are more bait, and I have a feeling you’re not going to make this a hobby.”Clint huffed. If he came all the way out here to fish, he wanted a prize.“You gotta think more like a trout if you wanna catch them,” said a man who was cutting through the little island to get back to the main shore, “that’s what works for me.”Clint cocked his head and appraised the man, who was dressed head to toe in rain gear despite the complete lack of clouds.“How do you think like a trout?” Clint asked.The man smiled sagely. “It takes years of practice. You have to swim, eat, and breathe like a trout. You have to lay eggs like one, too.”“Lay eggs?” Elliott chimed in, looking horrified.“Yeah, the egg part I’m not so good at. The breathing is also kind of hard. But I’ve been living on a steady diet of trout food for a long time now and I think that’s the biggest factor, for me at least.”Elliott’s eyes looked like they were about to bug out of his head. “Do you have a blog or a book or a social media account where you document this journey?” he asked the trout man.“I have a YouTube channel,” the trout man informed him.Clint had never seen Elliott pull out his phone so quickly. “Please put in your info so I can subscribe to you,” he said, pressing his phone with the open YouTube app into the man’s hands.Clint looked at Willy, who mirrored back his expression of utter confusion.When the trout man left, Clint watched Elliott furiously scrolling through his videos, his face lighting up.“What is so enthralling about this guy?” Clint asked, “he seems like just another weirdo.” His stomach twisted as he thought of another possibility, “do you… think he’s really hot or something?” The man hadn’t been bad looking, but Clint had been too distracted by his talk of becoming one with the fish to think about it much.“No,” Elliott said, making eye contact with Clint, looking not a little insane when he did, “this guy is certifiably nuts, which makes incredible content. I’m workshopping the idea of writing a book about someone who has some sort of descent into madness, so the more source material I can get, the better.”Of course it had something to do with writing.“Can’t you just have a weird fascination with things that doesn’t further your career?” Clint asked, half joking.Elliott blinked, and Clint could see the wheels turning in his head. “I guess I do kind of turn everything into ideas, huh?” He looked pained.Clint shrugged. “I mean, yeah, you’re writing a book about us, even.”Willy snorted. “I don’t know that I would want to read a romance novel about people I actually know, Elliott, hope you don’t mind if I skip that one.”“I would hope so,” Elliott said, looking pointedly at Willy, “you’re one of my closest friends but I appreciate you giving us that privacy.” A glimmer of mischief crossed his eyes, and Willy made a face.“Hey, guys!” Clint’s heart dropped. Emily’s voice came singing over the water. He turned to look, and saw her standing on the other side of the water, hand in hand with Shane. Clint’s vision darkened a little. He just stared at the two of them, feeling frozen. He barely heard Elliott call a greeting back to them.Damn it all. Had Clint supposedly getting a boyfriend made Emily feel like it was time to formalize the relationship Clint had suspected she was having with Shane for ages? What happened? Why now? Why Shane? Emily knew Shane had a lot of issues, why was that preferable to Clint?Clint drew in a deep breath, feeling nauseous. He was so jealous and angry he couldn’t think straight. “I have to go,” he whispered to Elliott.“What?” Elliott whispered back, blessedly catching the cue to keep hushed tones.“I have to go,” Clint said again, and before he could stop himself, his feet were carrying him away from the fishing spot, off the island, and off toward home. He kept the tears in until his door shut behind him, where he immediately dropped to sit, back to the door, and sobbed.“So are you actually fucking Shane or are you just trying to make Clint jealous?” Haley asked as soon as Emily stepped in the door that evening.Emily stopped in her tracks. “What do you mean? Shane and I have been seeing each other and I wanted to go on a date to the Trout Derby.”Haley narrowed her eyes at Emily, and Emily felt pinned. Usually her younger sister didn’t have much sway on her, but Haley knew how to be scary when she wanted to be. She had inherited that from their mother.“You haven’t been seeing him for a while, I would have seen him around the house. Surely you’re not going to Marnie’s place to hook up, so you would have been bringing him here, and you haven’t.”“That you know of!”“That man smells like a chicken coop, I would know.”“That’s just rude.”“Also, you hate fishing. I imagine Shane also hates fishing. Why would a fishing festival be your go-to hard launch date?”Emily sighed. “You should be a lawyer.”“So I’ve been told. Are you proud of yourself that your plan worked? I heard that Clint fully ran away when he saw you guys.”Emily did feel a little bit of smugness at the thought that she had driven the guy to do that. She would never admit it to Haley, but it felt good to get back at the guy who had been hitting on her for years in some way.“I do not. But I’m also not trying to make him jealous. I just really like Shane.”“You are absolutely trying to make him jealous. You cannot stand there and tell me that you didn’t roll up to that event because you wanted Clint to feel some type of way about the whole thing.”Emily bit her lip. “Okay, maybe.”“But why? I thought you really didn’t like him like that. So why now that he’s happy are you trying to ruin things?”“I’m not trying to ruin things,” Emily said, flopping onto the couch across from where Haley was perched with her phone, “I guess I still just think it’s weird that his attention flipped like that. One minute he was trying to flirt with me and the next minute he’s being all ooey gooey with Elliott. It just doesn’t add up.”“Doesn’t add up to your ego,” Haley said, pointing at Emily.Emily grabbed a pillow and put it over her head. “I just didn’t think he would be so cute in a relationship.”“So you’re admitting you’re jealous?”“Absolutely not. Again, it’s just weird. He was so awkward for so long and now he just figures it out? Why?”“Maybe it’s true love,” Haley suggested, snorting.Emily peeked out from under the pillow. “I feel like if Clint, the huge, weird blacksmith, is going to have a true love, it’s not going to be the flowery, pretty writer who lives on the beach.”“So it’s going to be the fashion designer crystal girl?”“No,” Emily said, covering her eyes back up with the corduroy pillow.‘But maybe,’ she thought.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Summer 22“You actually created a great opportunity, to be honest,” Elliott assured Clint as they sat across Clint’s dining table from one another. Elliott’s notebook sat open, a couple drips of salsa adorning the page. They munched on chips, guacamole, and salsa as they planned out the next couple weeks.“I think if there was ever a chance for you to be with Emily by the Midnight Jellies Festival, it’s the most open right now.”Clint sighed. He had spent the last two days sulking over Emily and Shane being together. He was so anxious and jealous, he hadn’t even talked to Elliott the previous day. Elliott had respected his space, which was kind of him, but his emotions were so mixed up, Clint didn’t know whether he should have spent more time with his fake boyfriend or not. Elliott had finally barged into the blacksmith shop that evening, declaring that Clint needed nutrients and a friend. Clint wasn’t sure if salsa and guacamole quite counted as a vegetable serving, but it was probably a good idea to eat something that didn’t come out of a plastic bag for the first time in 48 hours.Elliott had also offered hugs and kisses for comfort if Clint wanted them, but the idea felt gross to Clint right then. He couldn’t think about anyone but Emily, so he didn’t even touch Elliott’s open left hand as it lay on the table, an obvious but low-pressure invitation to initiate physical contact if Clint was interested. Truthfully, Clint could have really used some human touch, it just wasn’t in him to actually go for it.“How can you say that we’re closer than ever when she is literally parading around with Shane on her arm?” Clint asked, studying the salsa, “it feels like she’s decided to commit to something. You said she wasn’t quick to commit, so it must be serious.”“I’m going to be honest, and this is going to hurt, but it does point to them possibly having had a physical relationship for a while, given my experience with Emily,” Elliott said softly. Clint had thought it many times, but to hear it in Elliott’s voice made him want to throw up. He groaned and put his head down on the table.“Your hair is getting in the guacamole,” Elliott noted, and Clint felt the vibration on the table of Elliott sliding the bowl away from Clint’s head.“The good news,” Elliott said, crunching on a chip, “is that I don’t believe that they actually have a relationship, or at least not a real one from Emily’s side.”Clint lifted his head. “You think they’re fake dating like we are?”“I have a feeling Shane thinks it’s real, or at least somewhat real. I get the sense that Emily is trying to make you jealous. I could be wrong, but it just doesn’t seem like her.”“That’s what people say about us, though,” Clint pointed out.“And guess what, we’re fake dating,” Elliott pointed out, brandishing his chip in the air and going for another scoop of salsa.“Don’t double dip,” Clint said, thinking of his mother’s chastising.Elliott stopped, chip in the salsa, and looked at Clint. “Clint, honey, I haven’t quite had my tongue in your mouth, but worrying about sharing germs at this stage is not going to help either of us much. When you kiss someone, their mouth bacteria stay with you permanently, so really you also have the mouth bacteria of not only me, but everyone I’ve ever kissed as well. Great for your immune system!”Clint rolled his eyes. “Glad to know I’ve kissed a thousand people in one.”“It’s probably not a thousand,” Elliott scoffed, “even I am not that prodigious.”“Does that mean I already have Emily’s mouth bacteria?”“I suppose it does! Congratulations!” Elliott said, stuffing the rest of the chip into his mouth.Clint sat upright in his chair, grabbing a chip and going for the guac. “Alright, what’s your grand plan here, then?”“Inspired by your love’s mouth bacteria, eh?” Elliott teased, waggling his eyebrows.“Actually, I was just hoping to move on from that conversation,” Clint admitted. He liked to try and forget that Elliott and Emily had made out, but it was easier said than done, especially when it was so relevant so often.“So, I’m thinking we need to start arguing in front of her,” Elliott said, jotting something down, “You ditching me at the Trout Derby is a good starting point. I can bring it up at the saloon and we can get kind of heated about it. I’ll leave, and then you can roll up to the bar and talk to her about how we’ve been bickering more lately, and ask her for advice.”“Do I want to project the image of someone who fights with my partner, though?” Clint asked, hesitant.“I’ll be sure to be the one who’s aggressive about it. You will take the penitent track. I think if Emily wants to make you jealous, she’s going to be looking for signs that it’s working, and her reaction to seeing cracks in our relationship will say a lot about her real intentions.”Clint thought for a moment. Elliott was probably dead on, he usually was.“I don’t know if I want to be in a fight with you, though,” he said softly, “I don’t really argue with people, I get pretty emotional.”Elliott smiled at him. “That’s probably for the best, in all respects. Showing some emotion in this situation is a good thing. It shows you really care as a partner, and she’ll see that. We’ll practice, don’t worry. We should probably do this tomorrow, though. The next night is Willy’s birthday party and I don’t want to storm out of that.” He winked at Clint.Clint sighed again. “I trust your judgement,” he said, “so what am I going to say that lets you pick a fight?”Summer 23“I mean, it would have been nice if you had been on time for dinner tonight,” Clint demurred, cutting his steak purposefully.“Oh, you want to talk about me showing up late?” Elliott back, jabbing a broccoli-laden fork at the smith, “how about we talk about you leaving early? You ditched me at the Trout Derby, and that hurt.”“I didn’t ditch you, I just got a little overwhelmed, and it was kind of boring anyway, so I wanted to leave. I told you I was going, I don’t see what the problem is.” Clint raised his hands defensively, hoping it didn’t look unnatural.“It was boring? Spending time with me is boring?” Elliott asked, eyebrows raised.“I didn’t say that! I just think fishing is kind of boring,” Clint explained, “I think you’re wonderful, I love talking to you, I just needed to get out of there.”“It just feels like you don’t like doing my hobbies,” Elliott said, stuffing broccoli into his mouth. Clint knew Elliott didn’t want to waste food, so he was trying to eat as quickly as possible before his big stormout.“We do your hobbies all the time,” Clint said, trying to sound desperate, “we do yoga on the beach every morning, I hang out while you’re writing, I plan picnics and dates for you, I try so hard to make sure you feel like you’re having fun.”Elliott sighed. “It is fun, you’re really good at that. This Trout Derby was just important to me, and I was hoping we were going to spend both days hanging out and having fun. Instead you decided that just wasn’t your thing, and that’s not fair.”“Fishing just isn’t my thing, I’m sorry,” Clint said.“Well, talking to you right now doesn’t feel like my thing,” Elliott pushed himself back in his chair and stood. “I need to go cool down, I’m sorry. I’ll come by tomorrow.” Elliott looked genuinely sorrowful. If he hadn’t become a writer, he could have probably been a professional actor, Clint thought.“Probably for the best,” Clint grunted, turning away from him, “see you.”He heard Elliott’s sandals cross the wood floor and the door swing open and shut. Surely that had gone well, right? Elliott had done his part, now Clint needed to make sure he didn’t waste the situation. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. It was a text from Elliott.Nailed it! Now go order a drink!Clint heaved the biggest sigh he could muster and stood, ambling up to the bar. When he sat down on the barstool that used to be his normal perch before he started dating Elliott, Emily sidled up just like old times.“What can I get you?” She asked, mug already in hand.“Something dark,” Clint said, shaking his head and looking at the counter.“Coming right up,” Emily said, turning to the taps behind her, filling the mug, and thunking it down in front of him.He grumbled his thanks.“What do you do when you don’t feel like you’re enough for your partner?” He asked, using the carefully crafted line that Elliott said would make him seem most sympathetic.Emily looked pensive, resting her elbows on the bar and putting her chin in her hands as Clint took a swig of his beer.“I’ll be honest, that’s not a problem I’ve had in the past, but it seems to me that it’s an issue that has a deeper root, from what I’ve seen.”“What you’ve seen?”“Not with you guys specifically, but usually there’s something going on underneath the surface that’s not actually what’s being argued about. This is a pretty common issue in relationships, I’ve even done some crystal healings for it, if you’d think Elliott would be interested in that,” she offered.“I can ask him,” Clint said, taking another sip of beer, “I’m just anxious. We’ve been bickering more the last week or so than we ever have, which isn’t saying much, but it just makes me worried.”“I mean, two months is a little short for a honeymoon period, I guess, but arguing sometimes as you settle into a relationship is pretty normal,” Emily said, cocking her head to the side.“It just makes me worry that this isn’t the right thing for me,” Clint said, hoping his admission didn’t sound silly.“What do you mean?” Emily asked.“I guess, this whole relationship came out of the blue so quickly. I didn’t really take a lot of time to think about whether I really wanted it, I just kind of went along for the ride. I’m having a lot of fun and learning a lot about myself, I just worry that Elliott isn’t the one.”Emily’s eyes widened.“I don’t really know what to say to that,” she said, tapping her fingers on the bar anxiously, “Maybe he isn’t right for you, but how would you know if it’s right or wrong?”Clint looked into her eyes. “I don’t know, I’m just looking for a feeling, I guess.”She stared back at him. “I think you’re going to find that feeling soon.”“How do you figure?”“I just have a good sense for these kinds of things,” Emily said, a smile cracking onto her face, “call it intuition or psychic powers or whatever, but I have a feeling that soon your relationship will be right.”Clint squinted. He was having a hard time understanding what she was trying to say, hoping she meant that she wanted to be in a relationship with him, but she might also mean his relationship with Elliott would right itself. Elliott would be able to decipher the conversation, surely, so Clint tried to memorize as much as possible.“How did you decide to finally get with Shane after all this time?” Clint asked, “Did you get that feeling?”Emily hummed to herself for a moment. “I think sometimes, after a lot of years of not seeing what’s right in front of you, something changes. Sometimes there’s a break in the fog that shows you things you had assumed aren’t necessarily true, and it changes the way you think about people.”“And that happened with Shane?” Clint was genuinely curious.Emily bit her lip. “Yeah.”“Care to elaborate?” Clint pressed, immediately feeling bad and uncomfortable when he saw Emily’s cheeks turn bright red.“No,” she said, her voice almost a squeak.“Got it,” Clint replied, feeling his cheeks get hot as well. Maybe he didn’t want to know.“I appreciate you talking to me about my issues,” Clint said, trying to cut the awkward silence, “it’s good to have a friend to get advice from.”“Yeah, we’re good friends,” Emily repeated, looking down. This definitely felt weird. Clint knew he was not good at reading social situations, but he knew something was going on here. The bar was empty of other patrons, and Gus was in the back, so it was just the two of them.“I’m sorry for being so weird to you for so long,” Clint said, figuring now was as good a time as any to try and clear any air that needed it, “I didn’t know how to act around people that I liked, or people in general. I like to think I’ve come along way in the last couple of months, but more than anything I want to make sure that we’re good.”Emily stuck out her bottom lip. “That’s so sweet, Clint! Of course we’re good. I appreciate you apologizing, actually. I think we can definitely move on and have a good relationship. I like you a lot.”Clint smiled.“Not like that,” Emily said, correcting herself where she didn’t need to.“I didn’t think you meant like that,” Clint said slowly.“Oh. Okay. Good. Because I didn’t,” Emily said.Is this what people meant by “protesting too much”? Clint wondered.“No worries, you’re with Shane, I’m with Elliott, we’re both happy, anything else would be weird.”“Right.”“Right.”Now this was awkward. Shit.“Anyway, I’m gonna head home, gotta plan out how I’m going to apologize to Elliott tomorrow,” Clint said, polishing off his mug of beer and standing to leave.“Good luck,” Emily said, grabbing the mug and turning to wash it.“See you,” Clint said, headed to the door. He paused as he raised his hand to push it open, thinking he should say something else, but decided on just leaving. He headed out into the night, the sun had just set despite the early time, it was close to the solstice. Clint pulled his phone out and texted Elliott.Went well, I think? Lots of questions for you about what she said.He waited a moment, Elliott’s text bubbles immediately appearing on screen as soon as he hit send.Write down everything you can remember. I’ll come by tomorrow morning, you can’t be seen coming to my place right after our fight.Clint sighed. He really wanted to hash it out that night. He wanted to know where he stood. He had waited this long, though, so why not one more day?
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Summer 24Clint and Elliott showed up to Willy’s birthday party at the saloon hand in hand. Elliott, hair swept into a neat bun at the back of his head against the summer heat, couldn’t help but notice Emily looking their way as they walked in. He had gotten the general transcript of the conversation she and Clint had the night before, but it was another thing to see his suspicions confirmed on her face.
Elliott, upon hearing everything Clint had written down from their talk, had assured Clint that she was absolutely trying to make him jealous, that her talk about seeing new sides of people had been about Clint, not Shane, and that her overzealous insistence that she did not like Clint “like that” was a very obvious tell that should have been glaring to Clint, but of course Clint was Clint, so that was that.
Elliott was so proud of himself for orchestrating all this. He was the master of romance. His book would be perfection, he already knew it. He had actually written a good amount of it so far, but was toying with the idea of making one of the characters, probably the one that stood for himself, a merman. The thrill of a wonderfully orchestrated plot, both in writing and in real life, gave him confidence. He could feel the gravity of his own body, almost like he was magnetic. He could face anything with this feeling.
He was also, of course, devastated. Devastated that he would be losing Clint soon, devastated that this was the first time since the Trout Derby they had so much as held hands. Clint’s distraction with hugging and kissing Elliott had imploded that day on the shoreline, and he was back to being wholly fixated on Emily. There had been no giggling in the night for them lately, only scheming. Scheming together, of course, was its own form of intimacy, but Elliott craved the closeness that he was now sure he had lost forever.
How on earth was he only two months removed from thinking Clint was kind of gross? Going from his previous attitude toward the man to how he felt now, just wanting to curl up with him and kiss his lips and pretend nothing else existed? The jump felt impossible, but here he was. Seeing him now, greeting people and shaking hands at this birthday party, so full of this new confidence, confidence that Elliott had helped build in him, Elliott couldn’t help but wonder which of the two of them had been changed more.
“You okay?” Clint asked, breaking through Elliott’s dramatic musings. Elliott blinked, embarrassed to have been caught up in his feelings like that in the middle of all these people.
“Of course! Just a little tired,” Elliott cooed back, smiling brightly.
Clint looked suspicious for a moment, but quickly went back to playing his part.
“Shall we go put our gift with the others?” He asked, pulling Elliott toward one of the tables, which had been set aside for everyone to leave their gifts. Gift giving ceremonies weren’t super common in Pelican Town, but for the old guard like Willy, it was effectively a tradition. Everyone liked to show their love and respect for the elders of the town, even when those elders were obnoxious as Mayor Lewis.
Elliott had found the most gorgeous antique reel online at a restoration website, and immediately ordered it for Willy. It was more of a display piece than one he would actually use, but Elliott had decided that even gruff old guys needed cute things in their homes, and Clint had agreed.
Once the gift was set out among the others, Elliott turned to try and find Willy in the small crowd. Once again, everyone was here for the party, even those who were normally completely averse to stepping inside the saloon. Penny sat next to her mother at Pam’s usual bar spot, but Pam was sipping from a Joja Cola instead of a beer mug. Elliott smiled. For a tough old alcoholic, that must have been difficult, but he admired Pam’s fortitude to not drink in front of her daughter. Alex sat at a table with his grandparents, Mayor Lewis, Haley, and Sebastian. Sebastian sitting there struck Elliott as odd, until he noticed that Seb and Alex were holding hands under the table. Elliott’s smile spread even further. Precious. He would have to go chat with them later.
Elliott had a tendency to sometimes think of himself as the father of all gays, largely because he had never really been closeted in his whole life. From middle school onwards, the baby gays would seek him out for advice. Now that he was an adult and so were his peers, he found it destabilizing when people started doing gay things without talking to him about it first. He recognized this was a very silly and self-involved way to feel, but he had gotten so used to being the main point of contact. Elliott wasn’t upset that neither Sebastian or Alex had talked with him about what was going on, but he did want to get all the details.
Leah and Riley were here, back by the pool table, looking extremely cozy on the couch. Elliott almost felt like his gaze was intruding on their moment, and he decided this was not the time to go bother them.
Eventually, Elliott did put eyes on Willy. He was standing in the corner, slightly hidden by his gaggle of friends: Linus, Rasmodius, and Marlon. The group was a formidable sight, looking for all the world like a questing party about to go out on an adventure. Elliott made a mental note to write something about such a group of old friends one day, like Lord of the Rings if all the hobbits were just more Gandalfs.
“Should we go say hi?” Clint asked, and Elliott turned to look at him. Clint looked hesitantly at the group Elliott had just been admiring. He imagined Clint must be anxious at the idea of interrupting the conversation.
“It’s a party, people mingle, it’s fine to go say hello,” Elliott reassured him. “Follow my lead and take notes,” he instructed with a wink.
Clint nodded, and Elliott watched as that steely resolve crossed over the smith’s face. He was so good and tried so hard. It made Elliott’s heart flutter.
The two men, hands still clasped together, weaved their way to Willy.
“Hey Willy! Happy Birthday!” Elliott exclaimed, grabbing Willy and giving him a quick hug, “can’t wait to see the insurance payout Gus gets when this place burns down from all the candles on your cake.”
Willy roared with laughter, smacking Elliott on the shoulder. “Wouldn’t be the first time a building burned because of me, but that’s not a story I’m supposed to tell.”
“Please, please do not,” Rasmodius urged, looking a little nervous. The wizard, dressed as per usual in head to toe purple, always reminded Elliott of Billy Ray Cyrus, if Billy Ray Cyrus ran away to the woods, did enough drugs to make his survival a matter of divine intervention, and learned to commune with spirits and the cosmos.
Elliott giggled nervously, not sure what to say to that.
“Happy birthday, Willy! You sure are old!” Clint awkwardly interjected, also grabbing Willy and giving him a bear hug. The hug lasted an uncomfortably long amount of time. By the time Clint let go, everyone looked a little bit unnerved. Elliott held a smile plastered on his face, trying to communicate an apology to Willy with his eyes.
‘Good grief,’ Elliott thought, ‘he hadn’t done anything that weird in ages.’
“Well, we’ll leave you folks to it,” Elliott said, grabbing Clint’s forearm and steering him away from the group, toward the cold fireplace on the opposite end of the room.
“What was that, sweetheart?” Elliott asked, trying to keep his tone light to anyone who could overhear, but trying to impress upon Clint how weird it had been.
“What was what?” Clint asked, looking confused.
“‘You sure are old’? The super long hug when I don’t think you guys are quite on hug terms at this point?”
“You said to follow your lead, I literally did what you did,” Clint said, leaning back defensively.
Elliott sighed. “I should have clarified, follow the feeling of what I’m doing, you don’t need to match it blow for blow. Willy and I are pretty close, and you don’t have that relationship with him yet, so you have to be a little more cordial still.”
Clint looked deflated. “Oh, I thought I was doing a good job.”
Elliott’s heart ached. Clint looked so dejected. “No, you did what you thought was right, it just didn’t land this time. I will say, that was the first instance of super awkward Clint I’ve seen in a good while, that means something.”
Clint didn’t respond. He was looking at the floor.
“You’re doing good. It was just a bad moment,” Elliott assured him. He realized he was backpedaling quite a bit, but it was hard not to try and comfort Clint when he was really doing his best. Sighing, Elliott gave Clint a hug, at which Clint froze up a little before awkwardly hugging back.
Elliott’s heart cracked a little bit. Clint hadn’t frozen up like that from his touch in weeks. It felt like everything was going backwards. Maybe Elliott should try and push his own feelings backwards, too. He just didn’t know how to do that.
“Thanks for sticking with me through all this,” Clint whispered in the embrace, “you really don’t know how much it means to me.”
“You’re gonna make me cry,” Elliott whispered back, “this is a birthday party and I don’t even have any alcohol in me so you better not make me cry.”
Clint pulled back from the hug, smirking at Elliott. “If being thanked and praised makes you cry…” he trailed off, “I’m not finishing that sentence, actually.”
Elliott’s jaw dropped, “What exactly are you saying, babe?”
Clint laughed, raising his voice a little bit. “I’ll show you what I’m thinking later tonight.”
Elliott was baffled at Clint’s sudden, bold insinuations after a week of not wanting to even hold hands, but then thought about where they were standing. Emily was right behind him, wasn’t she? They were just close enough to the bar that she would be able to overhear if she was listening. Right. They had a job to do, and he had a book to write.
Elliott raised his own voice to match Clint’s tone, “I can’t wait, but we need to stay for a bit, otherwise I’d be dragging you home right now.”
Clint flushed a bit, and Elliott winked back at him.”I got you,” Elliott mouthed.As the evening wound down, Elliott and Clint sat across the table from Alex and Sebastian. Most people had gone home, but Willy and his group of friends were still sitting around chatting at their own table, Willy’s huge fish cake which was missing about half its body sitting between them.
“When he came back from college, it was like seeing him for the first time,” Alex explained, looking lovingly at Sebastian. “I knew that I needed to go talk to him, at least to say sorry for how I treated him in high school.”
“I was an asshole to you, too, though,” Sebastian cut in.
“Massive asshole. But anyway, I went to his new place one night with a pizza and my apologies and we ended up talking all night. For a while that was all it was, until all of a sudden it wasn’t just that anymore.” Alex’s face was bright red as he said it, and Elliott could have swooned right there, thinking about how sweet of a romance it must have been in the beginning, old enemies becoming friends and then falling in love. What could be more precious and wholesome?
“Who made the first move, like, romantically?” Clint asked, obviously pretty tipsy. Elliott hadn’t been counting how many beers he had taken down, but it was enough that Clint was not worried about the optics of what he was saying.
Alex and Sebastian looked at each other, as if they were trying to decide what to say. Finally, Alex spoke. “As much as I hate to admit it, Seb was the one who confessed first.”
“Ooh, what did you say?” Clint pressed, eyes wide at Sebastian.
Sebastian looked around the room, appraising who was there and who might overhear.
“Don’t judge me, okay, I was in emotional turmoil and I just needed to break the tension as quickly as I could in a way that there was no room for misinterpretation,” he said, looking back and forth between Clint and Elliott.
“Zero judgement,” Elliott said, on pins and needles to hear what gooey thing Sebastian had come up with. Clint nodded in agreement.
“I basically said ‘I love talking to you, but right now I want to make you scream my name instead’.” Sebastian said, sitting back in his chair and looking around for the reaction.
Elliott was shocked speechless, both at what was said and at the fact that Seb had just said it so confidently. That was not at all what he expected. He felt like he knew Sebastian pretty well, but that was not the wholesome, cute story he had anticipated from him.
“And?” Clint asked, obviously not fazed by this, looking at Alex.
Alex covered his face with his hands. “I’m sitting here next to him, aren’t I?”
“Nice!” Clint said, raising his glass in Sebastian’s direction.
“What about you guys?” Sebastian asked, “how did all this start? I mean, we saw it happening on the public side, but what was really going down?”
“Who’s really going down?” Alex asked, suddenly willing to talk when it wasn’t about himself.
Elliott could feel the heat creeping under his skin intensify at Alex’s question. He took a deep breath. He could choose to ignore that part, as long as Clint and his beer didn’t say something stupid. Emily was still at the bar, he assumed. He and Clint were facing the wall while Alex and Sebastian faced the room, so he had to guess. She was likely listening, so he needed to stick with the story he told her.
“I went to Clint’s place one night to talk to him as a favor to someone,” Elliott started, “and, like you guys, I ended up staying and talking until super late. We progressed things a little more traditionally than you guys did, but it’s largely the same story, only we were mostly hanging out in public, not curled up on Sebastian’s couch.”
“You don’t wanna curl up on that couch,” Sebastian said, looking mischievous.
Elliott pulled a face.
“Makes sense, it’s just weird, because, like, I mean you were after Emily for soooo long,” Alex said, tripping over his words a little as he did. Elliott squinted. He wasn’t entirely sure, he wasn’t stone cold sober certainly, but he thought that maybe Alex had premeditated that statement a bit.
“Sometimes when the right thing comes along, you just sort of forget about everything else,” Clint said, surprising Elliott. They had rehearsed different ways to respond to this sort of questioning before, but it had been a while, and Clint wasn’t exactly sober either. “Elliott is my right thing. He was patient with me and kind to me in a way that no one else was. It wasn’t like he didn’t care that I’m awkward and cringe, but he still liked me for who I am. And I think he still really does. And I like him so much, too.” Clint smiled blithely, and Elliott couldn’t help but lean his head over and rest it on Clint’s shoulder. Clint didn’t tense up at the touch.
“Thank you, babe, that’s really sweet,” Elliott said, deciding that, at least for that moment, he wasn’t going to think about what of those words was real and what wasn’t.
“You guys seem really happy together,” Alex observed, brow furrowed as if he was putting together a puzzle, “I would have never thought, but it seems like you really are each other’s person.”
Elliott wished he was right.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Summer 28The morning of the Dance of the Moonlight Jellies, Clint got to Elliott’s house early. They had been planning out what they were going to do for the last couple of days, and tonight was the execution. Clint was going to have a chance to show Emily, to show everyone really, that he was a good boyfriend.Clint let himself into the cabin with the spare key Elliott had asked him to make after the Luau incident. When he opened the door, Elliott was standing at his mirror, wearing only his boxer briefs, looking through his closet. Clint sputtered out an apology and went to back out of the door.“It’s fine, hun, you can stay,” Elliott laughed, and Clint felt his face and ears flushing.“I wasn’t expecting you for another hour or so,” Elliott explained, pulling out a pair of white linen shorts and pulling them on, “unless, of course, this was your plan.” He winked at Clint, who suppressed a flinch and tried very hard to look only at Elliott’s face.“I mean I wasn’t expecting black lace underwear,” Clint said, making what he thought was a valiant attempt at levity despite a situation he would have loved to run away from, “so maybe that was actually your plan.”“Hey now, not all underwear has to be dinosaur boxers,” Elliott laughed, buttoning up the shorts, “although I do own some of those as well. It’s important to have a range of undergarments to fit your mood.”Clint pictured his own underwear drawer at home. Gosh, how long had it even been since he bought new underwear? He had gotten a lot of new clothes as part of his transformation, but hadn’t thought of underwear as an important thing.“Can you help me shop for new underwear sometime?” Clint asked. Elliott turned to him, looking surprised.“Where did that come from?” The man asked, flipping his hair over his shoulder as he checked the shirt he had pulled from the closet to make sure it wasn’t backwards before he put it on.Heavens above. He could not put on that shirt fast enough for Clint’s comfort. Some days it was easy to focus on the goal of romancing Emily, but sometimes, like right now, Elliott was incredibly distracting, and he was also right there. Emily was a far off treasure, but Elliott was right here, in the room, so much skin on display, and Clint was sure he would let him touch that skin if he asked…Clint shook his head, trying to snap out of it. Elliott had asked him a question. What was it again?“Oh, um, I just don’t have any ‘mood’ underwear,” Clint said, using air quotes, “All of mine is just like, black or navy boxers from forever ago. I could probably use a refresh before I start dating Emily.”Elliott considered. “Yeah, no that makes sense. We can do that in a few days, maybe? I want to go shopping before my birthday, anyway, so we can go and get some new underoos for you.”Right. Elliott’s birthday was Friday. Clint had been planning out a surprise party for him for a while, hoping that he would be dating Emily by then, but needing to look like a supportive and loving boyfriend in case he reached Elliott’s birthday while still pretending to date him. Anything less would not be a proper display of his boyfriendly prowess. He still needed to nail down the final details with Gus and Emily, but most of the day was planned and booked.“Sure, whichever day is best for you,” Clint said, “just let me know a little in advance so I can tell Riley not to come by expecting me to break his geodes that day.” ‘And put your damn shirt on or I’m going to do something about it.’“Do I look okay?” Elliott asked as he finally pulled the shirt over his head.Clint took a beat, making a show of appraising his friend. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure you won’t embarrass me in front of my friends.”Elliott scoffed and threw what must have been his pajama shirt at Clint’s head. It was still a little bit warm when it hit him in the face. Why did Elliott have to smell so good? Clint pulled the shirt off his head and tossed it back at Elliott.“But really, do I look alright? For some reason I never know how to dress for this event. Like it’s so special and magical but also so casual, you know?”Clint sighed. “You look like a prince from a kids’ movie on vacation with his mermaid wife.”“Funny you say that, I’m actually considering making one of us a secret merman in my book,” Elliott said, beaming.“A merman? Why?” Clint asked, confused.“Just to add another layer to it. Like I said, I’m just considering it. Like maybe one of them is secretly a merman and gets kidnapped to become the merman king in the middle of the book.”“That sounds complicated. Maybe make that a sequel after the main romance plot is resolved?”Elliott stopped, biting his lip and looking around. “Actually, that might be a good idea. All my books have been standalones so far, so maybe it would be interesting to build more on the relationship established in the first book.”Clint shrugged. “I guess?”“I’ll have you read what I’ve got so far, eventually. I just need to do some more thinking through the plot and change some stuff around first so it makes more sense.” Elliott grabbed some cologne from his dresser and daubed a little on his wrists and neck.“Don’t use too much on your neck,” Clint advised.“Why’s that?” Elliott asked, looking concerned.“Well,” shit. Clint hadn’t thought this one through before letting the thought fly, and this explanation was gonna land badly, “it doesn’t taste very good.”Elliott blushed and giggled and Clint gave him an awkward smile back. He knew that he had some kind of effect on Elliott when they kissed. Hell, Elliott certainly had plenty of effect on him, too. They just really hadn’t been doing any kissing for a while. They hadn’t actually kissed at all since the Trout Derby. Clint had just been too on edge about Emily, it had felt too weird, too wrong. He was going to have to get over it today, though. They had been planning how their first public kiss was going to go at the festival, but they agreed that they needed to make sure it looked right, and not super awkward to onlookers. If Emily was going to get excited at the idea of kissing Clint, it needed to look fun.“You ready?” Elliott asked, propping his phone up on his desk with the screen facing toward him.Clint took a deep breath, steeling himself.“You look like you’re about to go to war,” Elliott said with a laugh, “try not to look so excited about the idea of kissing me, I might think you like it.”Clint shook his head, “it’s not that, I’m comfortable with practicing with you, I’m just nervous to see how it looks on camera.”“From what I understand, real kissing almost always looks weird. What you see in movies is heavily rehearsed. We’re shooting for a middle ground. Emily and Shane are not a real couple, and if there’s going to be a ‘best fake couple in the valley’ it’s going to be us,” Elliott said, gesturing for Clint to join him in front of the camera.Clint heaved a sigh and walked to him, trying not to breathe in his smell too heavily as Elliott took his hand and wrapped his other arm around Clint’s waist. Elliott was definitely a professional at this, Clint assumed, he made it feel so easy and natural to be in his arms. Clint’s anxiety melted away as he pulled Elliott closer with his free hand.Clint went in for the kiss first, counting out six seconds as he pressed his lips up into Elliott’s, feeling the man’s hair falling softly around his face as Elliott tipped his head down just a little bit for him. When the six seconds were over, Clint pulled his head back, putting on his best warm smile and trying not to look too goofy.Elliott made eye contact with him, then looked at a lock of his hair that was dangling in front of his eye, then back at Clint again. It took Clint a beat to get the cue, but soon enough he realized that Elliott was trying to silently coach him, and Clint reached up and brushed the hair out of Elliott’s face, tucking it behind his ear. Elliott beamed at him, and Clint’s stomach burst into butterflies.‘Emily, Emily, Emily, Emily Emily Emily Emily,’ Clint repeated to himself, trying to make himself focus on his goal and not on how nice it was to be kissing Elliott again. He shouldn’t be enjoying it so much. Surely he only liked it because Elliott was so good at it, right?“Shall we check that one?” Elliott asked, gesturing at the camera.Clint nodded in response, though when Elliott left his arms to grab his phone, he felt a little emptier.The two watched themselves on the camera as they leaned into each other and pressed their lips together. You couldn’t see much of the actual kiss because of Elliott’s hair, but you could definitely see that Clint’s eyes were partially open.Elliott was giggling as he watched. “You gotta close those eyes, babe,” he said as he grabbed a hair tie from the desk and pulled his tresses back into a loose ponytail, “I know I’m fun to look at, though, so I don’t blame you,” he winked.Clint rolled his eyes. “Cut me some slack, I’m still a rookie.”Elliott giggled, and curled both his arms around Clint’s waist. “Put your arms around my neck,” he instructed, and Clint did as he said, “make sure you keep your shoulders loose so it doesn’t look like you’re trying to body check me into the ground.“Clint tried to relax his shoulders, holding his hands together behind Elliott’s head and letting his arms slacken a little.“Good, now close your eyes,” Elliott teased, rubbing the tip of his nose on Clint’s own. Clint’s face felt like it exploded in sparkles. Emily, Emily, Emily, he repeated to himself.He closed his eyes and felt Elliott’s lips brush over his, and Emily was no longer on his mind.After that kiss, Elliott grabbed the phone again and they watched the video back. The next hour was a master class in fine tuning one’s exact physical actions. They practiced both standing and sitting, trying to make sure that no matter where they were on the docks, they would be good to go.Clint’s horror at seeing himself kissing on camera was slowly replaced by being a little turned on at how hot of a guy he was kissing, he realized. Every time they watched the video back, Clint was just amazed that someone as frumpy as him would be seen kissing someone as good looking as Elliott. He had cleaned himself up pretty good over the last few months, but he still looked like a rural blacksmith, and Elliott looked like a fairy king.“I think we’re ready,” Elliott said after reviewing the last video, where they had percheed themselves on the edge of Elliott’s bed as if they were sitting with their feet in the water.“Awesome,” Clint said, trying not to show that he was a little disappointed they were done., “Can you send me the good videos?” he asked.“You want the videos of us practicing kissing?” Elliott asked, looking surprised.“Uh, I mean, yeah, I was thinking it would be nice to have so I can watch it back and see what I’m supposed to be doing,” Clint stammered, “but if you want to keep them to yourself, or just delete them, that’s totally fine, I get it.”“No, no, that’s fine,” Elliott said, tapping at his screen to select the videos they had decided were the keepers, “just make sure that when you and Emily start dating you delete them. You don’t want her going through your camera roll and wondering why you have videos of kissing your ex, or worse, what other videos you have on here.” He winked at Clint as he tapped the send button, and Clint felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.“Yeah, because you and me would make a sex tape,” Clint snorted, trying hard not to actually think about it.“Pfft, anyone who got so lucky as to bed me would want proof,” Elliott said, tugging his hair out of the hair tie and tossing it over his shoulder, “otherwise it’s like telling people you caught a unicorn.”“Oh don’t we think highly of ourselves, hmm?” Clint responded, shoving Elliott to the side just a bit with his shoulder.“My opinion is peer reviewed, thankfully,” Elliott snarked, flopping back onto the bed and sighing. “I can’t believe summer is over after today,” he said in almost a whisper.“Time flies when you’re pretending to have fun with your fake boyfriend,” Clint said, pulling his legs up to sit cross-legged, facing Elliott where he lay.Elliott rolled his head in Clint’s direction. “I am having fun, though, just so you know.”“Are you actually?” Clint was surprised, “I guess scheming is pretty fun.”“I mean, yeah, the scheming is a lot of fun,” Elliott admitted, “but honestly, it’s been really fun getting to know you and hanging out with you. I mean, before all of this I would have told people that you’re my friend, but we were really more of acquaintances, especially compared to now. I feel like I didn’t really ever give you a chance, and now that I’m seeing more of you, I find you really sweet and wonderful.”The words hit Clint like a bomb. When was the last time someone called him either sweet or wonderful? Maybe Penny when she was thanking him for his work on her house, but Elliott wasn’t talking about something Clint had done, Elliott was talking about how Clint WAS.“I’ve really liked getting to know you, too,” Clint replied, trying not to let his voice waver with emotion, “you’re always so perfect and put together, it’s been nice to see you be a little softer, too. I mean, you’re still pretty much always perfect, but seeing you sprawled out on your bed with your hair all over the place is different than most people get to see.”“Yeah, pretty much just you and Leah get to see that,” Elliott said, looking contemplative. He paused for a moment. “You’ve really become one of my best friends,” he said in almost a whisper, and Clint could see the tiny beads of tears welling at the corner of his eyes.Clint swallowed hard, forcing himself not to react to Elliott’s watery eyes. “I mean, it’s not a secret that I didn’t really have close friends before we started this,” Clint said, also dropping to a whisper in an effort not to cry, “and I don’t know what I’m going to do when I don’t have an excuse to hang out with you all the time anymore.”“You’ll have Emily, then,” Elliott said, at normal volume this time, “you’ll be happy and in love. I’m sure you won’t even think of me anymore.” He smiled up at Clint, and Clint’s stomach twisted. On the one hand, the prospect of hanging out with Emily as much as he hung out with Elliott now was thrilling, fulfilling even, but Elliott had really come to mean so much to him. It was going to be hard to navigate.“Well, we can cross that bridge when we come to it,” Clint said, taking a deep breath to steady himself, “for now, we have to look like we’re deeply in love and not thinking about anyone else.”“Deeply in love, right,” Elliott repeated, smirking.“Right. Anyway, lunch?” Clint asked, looking towards Elliott’s small kitchen. Those two minutes of feeling feelings had made him hungry.“Lunch, right. Ramen sound okay?” Elliott said, hopping up from the bed.“You know how I like it,” Clint replied, trying not to stare at Elliott’s butt as he moved across the room.
Seeing Emily and Shane together at the Dance of the Moonlight Jellies still hurt Clint, even if he believed Elliott that they were only fake dating to get Clint jealous. They were just holding hands again, but it wrenched at Clint’s heart. It didn’t help that Emily was an absolute vision in a dress made from the fabric he and Elliott had gifted her for her birthday. She looked like a queen of the night, like she was going to fly away and blend into the stars. It made Clint feel like vomiting. He gripped Elliott’s hand tighter every time he turned his head and saw them, standing nearby on the dock.Elliott must have gotten sick of his hand being crushed, because he dropped Clint’s hand and shifted into standing with his arm around Clint’s back, making it easy for Clint to hold Elliott’s waist.“Focus,” Elliott breathed into his ear, “don’t look at them, just look at the water and at me.”Clint’s heart raced as he looked around, checking to see if anyone had been able to hear Elliott. He knew that the crashing waves made it so sound didn’t carry well, but he was nervous anyway. He looked at Elliott, forcing his face to be soft and open even though he felt like running away. He could do this. He had Elliott there with him. He needed to focus on the plan, but also forget about Emily for the time being. It was a difficult line to walk, but he had to do it.He studied Elliott’s warm brown eyes. It was still crazy to Clint that Elliott had been willing to do all this. He was so kind. Clint could trust that, he had to. They were in too deep for him to get scared now.He noticed Elliott’s eyes dropping to Clint’s lips, lingering for a moment before coming back to meet his own eyes before winking. Clint didn’t know whether it was a question or a command, but he nodded anyway, resulting in Elliott coming in for a quick kiss. Clint melted into his side, bringing his other arm around to anchor himself and kissing Elliott on the cheek.Everything would go to plan. It would be fine. In the meantime, he got to stand here, waiting for Lewis to launch the boat that would bring the jellies to them, wrapped up with a gorgeous man who he cared about so much.“Hey, guys!” Leah’s quiet but excited voice came from behind Clint. Both men turned, and Clint saw her approaching with Riley, hand in hand.Clint smiled. Right. He even had other friends now. This was positive. There were so many more people he could talk to now because Elliott had helped him get through the hard parts.“We don’t want to interrupt your moment,” Riley said, winking at Clint, “just wanted to say hi.”“Don’t worry, I can sweep Clint off his feet no matter what you’re doing,” Elliott joked, “only problem is we’re on a dock so not having your feet under you is inadvisable.”“You should go back to your one joke, new ones are not working for you,” Clint huffed, elbowing Elliott lightly in the ribs.“Hey!” Leah exclaimed, “Clint! Your shoes have little jellyfish on them!” She pointed at Clint’s shoes, white lowtop sneakers with tiny jellyfish printed on the canvas.Clint blushed. “Yeah, they’re my special shoes just for this event,” he said, trying not to sound too excited, “I wear them every year, usually no one notices them.”“They’re sick!” Riley added, “I need to get some of those. Maybe we can all match next year?”Clint’s heart swelled. He had bought these particular shoes several years ago, they lived in their box in the closet because he was afraid of them getting sooty in the blacksmith shop. He remembered how excited he had been to wear them to the festival that year, but no one had so much as glanced at them. It felt a little weird to have Riley and Leah, both of whom had largely ignored him up until this year, now cooing over his shoes. Clint looked up at Elliott, who was smiling as proudly as if Clint was his son that had kicked a winning goal in a soccer game.“Hey guys, what are we looking at?” asked Mayor Lewis, coming up to the group. He followed Leah and Riley’s eyes to Clint’s sneakers. “Excellent kicks, Clint,” he proclaimed, “I think we’re ready to push the lantern boat off, now, though.”Excellent kicks? Okay then. Clint shook off the oddity of the statement, thanking the mayor.“Come on, let’s go down to the other side!” Elliott said, grabbing Clint’s hand. Clint looked to where he was pointing. It was just a bit further out than Emily and Shane were standing. It would put Clint and Elliott vaguely in their line of sight if they looked a little to the left, but it wouldn’t be too obvious. Plus, it made it so that Clint would have to face away from them, which was highly preferable. He really didn’t want to see them while he was trying to focus on being a good boyfriend in the moment.Clint followed Elliott down the dock, and they decided to take a seat, their legs dangling a few inches above the water. The sea was calm, so Clint wasn’t worried about getting his shoes wet. Elliott draped his arm around Clint’s shoulder, and they watched the tiny lantern boat float out to sea. Clint leaned into Elliott, who flipped his hair over his shoulder so it didn’t stick to the side of Clint’s face as he gave Clint a couple quick pecks on the cheek.After a few minutes, a soft glow started to creep into the water, and before long the sea was swarming with the phosphorescent jellyfish. It was genuinely romantic, Clint realized. The scene in the water, the warm, humid air, the tight pull of his fake boyfriend, it made him feel cozy, and safe, and really happy. The whole scene had pushed Emily so far away from his mind, had pushed everyone away from his mind. Right then, it was just him, and Elliott, and the jellyfish, and it was perfect. His heart felt full and his mind felt heavy in a comfortable way. He glanced at Elliott, who was fixated on the water, his normally dark eyes lit up with the reflection of the glowing sea. He looked so perfect.Even if they hadn’t rehearsed it for a good part of the day, Clint didn’t know that he would have been able to resist by this point; he snaked his hand to hold the inside of Elliott’s thigh, just barely above his knee, and when Elliott turned to look at him, Clint kissed him, hard. It was more intense than they had practiced, but Clint remembered the basics of the optics they had worked on. Jaw tighter than felt natural, forehead tipped forward, and definitely eyes closed. Elliott mirrored his fervence, arm tightening around Clint’s shoulders, his other hand coming up to cradle Clint’s face.Clint had always enjoyed kissing Elliott before, had always felt warmth and even heat, but this time it was like he was on fire. He felt passion in that moment in a way he didn’t know was possible, not for him, anyway. The kiss couldn’t have lasted for more than ten seconds before Elliott gently leaned back, but Clint felt changed by it. He wanted more, but he calmed himself, relaxing into Elliott’s arms and looking back out at the jellyfish. He could feel Elliott’s heart beating, and wondered idly who’s pulse had been raised more. It usually seemed like Elliott’s heart got extremely excited from kissing, but this time his own was keeping up in a way it hadn’t since the first time.“Good job,” Elliott breathed into his ear, “like I said, you’d almost have me fooled that you enjoyed it.”Clint didn’t respond, he just squeezed Elliott’s leg slightly. Maybe later they could talk about how Clint always liked it, but right then he just wanted to soak in the moment.After the jellies left the sea surrounding Pelican Town, people slowly began to shake off the spell the little invertebrates always seemed to put them under. It was like coming out of a long movie theater showing, but somehow worse. Clint and Elliott, now back on their feet, stretched and looked around. Clint saw Riley and Leah sitting nearby, Leah’s head lolled onto Riley’s shoulder. It seemed that she had fallen asleep, which was shocking considering how much he knew she loved the jellyfish. Marnie and Lewis were, as per usual, pretending they hadn’t been standing very close together the whole time. Shane and Emily were, oddly, nowhere to be found. Maybe Clint had succeeded in making her jealous enough that she had run off, like he had at the Trout Derby. He didn’t think too much of it, though. He was still fixated on Elliott, whose eyes almost seemed to be retaining some of that glow from before.“It’s almost 2am,” Elliott noted, stretching his arms upwards and backwards in a way that showed off a sliver of skin on his stomach, and Clint felt like he was physically fighting himself not to go touch it.“We should get home, I guess,” Clint said, to which Elliott nodded.“I’ll kiss you goodnight in front of my house,” Elliott said, fluttering his eyes as if it was a joke, but Clint recognized it as a confirmation of an extension to the plan.Clint agreed. He didn’t want to leave Elliott’s side tonight, but at least he would get one more kiss.At Elliott’s door, the kiss was much shorter than Clint had hoped, but it filled him with a giddy feeling that made him excited to get to sleep and have nice dreams. He made his way up the slope of the beach, headed for the break in the brush that led to the bridge into town. Lost in thought, he almost missed the rustling and moaning taking place in the bushes, but something about it broke through his daydreaming. It sounded vaguely like Emily. He stopped in his tracks, scanning the bushes for signs of her presence.Too quickly, he noticed the shimmer of the dress Emily was wearing that night, tucked into a small alcove in the bushes. Thinking something might be wrong, Clint hustled up to it, before stopping as if he had been slapped. Emily and Shane were sitting in the trees, tangled up in each other’s arms, furiously making out. Clint looked away as he realized that the bodice of Emily’s dress was around her waist, though thanks to Shane’s hands he couldn’t see anything. He turned tail and ran, hoping they didn’t see him.By the time he reached the bridge, tears pricked Clint’s eyes and he felt like he was going to hyperventilate. The love of his life was practically fucking another guy in the bushes, maybe actually fucking another guy in the bushes, for all he knew. Out in public. Where anyone could potentially see them. This was maybe the worst case scenario. Clint was upset, hurt, angry, devastated. He didn’t want to go home to be alone, though. Left to his own devices, he would whip up the situation to be even worse, though it already seemed catastrophic.He had to go back to Elliott’s house, to beg him to stay up a little longer to talk through what had just happened. He would have to walk past the spot where Emily and Shane were, though. That in and of itself would have normally pushed him right back home, but the promise of an understanding friend on the other side carried him forward. He angled himself further down the beach than was necessary, hoping to stay far enough away to avoid hearing or seeing anything.By the time he reached Elliott’s door, the tears could not be contained any more. Elliott opened the door, already changed into the same pajamas he had been wearing that morning, looking annoyed until he looked at Clint’s face. Wordlessly, he opened the door wider to let Clint in. Once the door was closed and locked, Elliott turned and immediately took Clint’s face in his hands.“I got you,” Elliott said, his voice soft, “tell me everything.”Clint opened his mouth, but only a sob came out. Elliott pulled him into a tight hug, and Clint let his body sag against him.Clint could feel Elliott’s hands rubbing his back, reminding him of how his mom used to hold him when he was younger, which only made him cry harder. He felt so wretched, so sad, but here Elliott was pouring affection onto him without any context at all.“Emily and Shane,” he finally got out through his tears, “they’re up in the bushes making out,” he had to pause again to push through more sobs that wracked his body, “I don’t walk to talk about what else they were doing, but I don’t think she was thinking about me at all tonight.”One of Elliott’s hands made its way to the back of Clint’s head, pulling Clint’s face into Elliott’s shoulder.“I’m so sorry,” Elliott said, just loud enough that Clint could hear him over his own crying, “what an awful thing to have to see.”Clint nodded, lifting his head up to wipe tears away. “I’m sorry, your shirt is going to get soaked and snotty,” he said.Elliott smiled and shook his head. “I do own a washing machine, it’ll be okay. Just let me take care of you right now, come here.” He pulled Clint into another hug, and then led him over to the bed. “Sit,” he instructed, and when Clint sat, Elliott bent down to untie and remove Clint’s shoes.“I hate it when people wear shoes on their bed,” he explained, “that’s gotten even worse since moving to the beach. I almost threw hands with Leah once over her putting her sandy shoes on my bed.” Watching Elliott gently take off his shoes and set them to the side just made Clint feel worse, somehow. He didn’t feel like he deserved such thoughtful treatment, wasn’t sure if he even wanted it right then. Part of him felt like he should be getting yelled at to toughen up, that’s what his dad would have been telling him. He couldn’t even picture Elliott saying something like that.Elliott got back up onto the bed and sat back, holding his hand out. When Clint took it, Elliott pulled and guided him into a position where he was laying on his side on Elliott’s chest while Elliott’s arms wrapped around his shoulders, one of Elliott’s lower legs tucked under one of Clint’s thighs. Clint, in his haze of sadness, recognized the novelty of cuddling with someone for the first time in his life. It was stabilizing, but made his emotions come more freely still.“I don’t think this is working,” Clint croaked when he finally got to a gap in his sobbing, “I don’t think she’s going to fall for me, after all.”Elliott was silent, so Clint kept talking, spilling out his worries. “I think maybe we made her jealous a little, but after what I just saw, I think she’s decided to get over it with someone else. They seem like they’re really serious, and I just can’t do anything about it. And she looked so gorgeous tonight, she must have wanted to look extra nice for him. I’m never going to really be in love, I’m going to be alone forever.”Still no response from Elliott. Just the gentle, rhythmic stroking of Clint’s hair. As Clint continued to talk, Elliott would occasionally lean down and kiss him on the top of the head. Clint told him everything, about his pain of being rejected by Emily, which led to him talking about his loneliness, and further back to things that had happened when he was a kid. Eventually, Clint ran out of things to say, or maybe he was just too tired to say them. His brain felt like mush. The periodic kisses from Elliott were his only indication that the man was still awake underneath him.When Clint finally fell asleep, he didn’t think he felt any better about anything, but he did know that at the very least, Elliott would be there. If he had laid there and listened this entire time, he must be crazy enough to stick around.
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Fall 1When the sun rose on the first day of autumn, Elliott thought he must have died and gone to heaven. Waking up with Clint in his bed seemed surreal. Though they had fallen asleep with Clint laying on Elliott’s chest, they had ended up on their sides, facing each other in an embrace. Clint was using Elliott like a six foot two teddy bear, his face burrowed into Elliott’s hair. Elliott could feel that his hair was a giant mess, brought on by a combination of tossing and turning and, evidently, Clint’s current state of having one hand tangled up in his hair and whatever he did to get it there. Even more startlingly, Clint’s hand had made its way under Elliott’s shirt and was wrapped intently around his waist. The feeling of Clint’s large, rough hands on his skin gave Elliott goosebumps. He would have happily lived in that moment forever.Elliott didn’t want to startle Clint awake and ruin the moment, so he very slowly nuzzled his face a little bit more into Clint’s chest, and felt Clint’s arms tighten around him in response. Elliott froze, worried that Clint had woken up, but the soft snoring was unbroken.Elliott relaxed. The previous night had been so fraught, it was draining, and going to bed at almost 3am and waking up at sunrise didn’t help. On the docks, that one kiss, Elliott thought maybe something had changed, that Clint was going to let go of Emily. He had come home full of hope and adrenaline. When he head Clint knocking on his door, he thought maybe it was going to be a confession, but when he opened it to see Clint crying, that was obviously not the case.It had taken everything in him not to say something while Clint talked about how much he cared for Emily, how sad he was to see her in such an intimate moment with someone else. Elliott had felt his heart shattering, not just because of how much Clint loved Emily, but because Elliott was upset that Clint was hurting. It was so painful not to speak, to let Clint continue to talk, to not tell him that he was perfect and was going to be okay and that Elliott would take care of him no matter what. Elliott knew if he had said those things, it would have led to him saying other things that would implode their whole arrangement. Clint would feel betrayed, or maybe like the whole thing had been a setup to trap him. Elliott couldn’t do that to him, couldn’t do that to himself.No, the whole thing was still doomed to failure, despite the glimmer of hope Elliott had caught while the jellyfish glowed and danced. If it was doomed, at least he was still here, in Clint’s arms, even if only for this morning and right now. Elliott had always felt like he was good at living in the moment, and right now he was really flexing that muscle, probably to the detriment of planning ahead.Without any real way to tell the time while in his current position, Elliott lay in place with Clint for an unknown amount of time, possibly hours, possibly minutes. Eventually, though, Clint began to stir, waking up slowly with one eye open and visible confusion about why his face was covered in auburn hair.“Wha…” he mumbled, and Elliott felt his stomach sink in sadness as Clint began to pull away from him slightly. Suddenly, Clint jerked back the hand that was pressed against the skin on Elliott’s back, his eyes flying open. “Sorry! Sorry…” he stammered, looking horrified.Elliott giggled. “It’s okay,” he said, trying to soothe Clint’s nerves, “you’re cozy.” He looked up and kissed Clint on the nose. Clint’s face softened.“Did I, did we fall asleep last night?” Clint asked.“I mean we must have, since we were asleep,” Elliott replied.Clint nodded, still looking around like he wasn’t entirely awake.“You can put your hand back, if you want,” Elliott added.Clint nodded again and did so, this time pulling Elliott’s whole body in close. Elliott intertwined his legs with Clint’s, and Clint propped his chin on top of Elliott’s head.“Cuddling is nice,” Clint murmured, and Elliott felt like his heart might explode.“Cuddling is super nice,” he responded, “you’re a natural.”“I always wanted to be someone’s big teddy bear.”“Makes sense, you fit the description perfectly.”“Don’t tell anyone I said that, though,” Clint said, suddenly sounding a little more lucid, “that’s an embarrassing thing to say and I probably shouldn’t have admitted to it.”“Your secret is safe with me, but I don’t think that’s embarrassing. A lot of men feel like they have to hide their soft side, but you really don’t, at least not with the people that matter.”Elliott internally giggled at the juxtaposition of talking about Clint’s soft side, meanwhile Clint’s morning wood was pressed intently into Elliott’s stomach. Clint was still in his clothes from the day before, and his light summer shorts didn’t exactly conceal much, at least not with their bodies smashed together like this. Elliott was making the express decision to ignore the existence of Clint’s dick, and assumed Clint was probably doing the same out of sheer mortification. That would certainly be in accordance with his MO.“Thank you,” Clint grunted, and pressed a kiss onto Elliott’s forehead.A few minutes of silence passed.“Can I kiss you?” Clint asked out of the blue.Elliott started, and Clint must have felt it, because he pulled back a little, looking down to meet Elliott’s eyes. “You can say no, of course, this just feels really nice and it seems like kissing might be nice right now, too.”Elliott shook his head, “no, I mean, yeah, yeah you can definitely kiss me, that’s a good idea actually, you know, for you to get used to that,” he stammered, still shocked that Clint was even thinking about that after being so torn up over Emily the night before.Clint smiled awkwardly, but leaned in and kissed him. His breath wasn’t stellar, but Elliott’s probably wasn’t either. This wasn’t the first time Elliott had woken up with another person in the same bed, but he always felt self conscious about morning breath. It was incongruous to the image of easy polish he tried to present to people. Good grief, he realized he hadn’t even gotten around to brushing his teeth the night before because of Clint, so it was probably even worse than normal.Clint didn’t seem to mind. He pulled Elliott in tight, putting one hand on the back of his head to pin their faces together. Elliott felt like he was going to melt into a puddle. Was he in love? Probably not, but it sure felt like it right then. Clint pressed his hips to Elliott, which made Elliott gasp. Clint immediately let go, breaking the kiss off.“I’m sorry!” He said, now really looking awake, “I don’t know where that came from, I, uh, I-”“Don’t worry about it,” Elliott said, smiling even though he was annoyed at Clint for stopping. He wanted more of that, “it’s just a natural instinct, you’re fine.”“Even though…” Clint started, face turning bright red.“Again, natural. I’ve been awake for a while or I would be in the same situation,” Elliott explained, wiggling his hips. He was about to be in the same situation again if he didn’t quit it, but he also wasn’t sure that he actually cared.Clint sat up. Elliott groaned internally.Great. Cuddle session over. He sat up as well, a mask of empathy hiding the selfish things he wanted.“I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable,” Clint said, still looking mortified.“Clint, when I made the decision that I was going to let myself fall asleep with you on top of me last night, I had already pretty much decided that nothing you can do at this point can make me uncomfortable, otherwise I wouldn’t have done that. I don’t fall asleep around people who make me uncomfortable,” Elliott assured, taking Clint’s hand in one of his own and patting it with the other.Clint nodded, but pulled his hand away. “Can I use your bathroom?”Elliott snorted. “Of course, just please put the toilet lid down when you’re done. I know you don’t at your place and personally I think that’s weird.”Clint shrugged and trundled off to the bathroom. Elliott lay back and sighed, before using his legs as leverage to launch himself out of bed. Since the bathroom was occupied, he made his way to the sitting room part of the studio-style cabin, pulling a pillow off the couch and onto the floor, then opening the small end table that held a small, gold-colored Yoba icon inside.He knelt on the pillow and started his morning prayers, beginning with an apology for not doing his nighttime ones the evening before. He knew that the god would understand, since he was using his time to help someone instead, which was as good or better than actually praying.He went through the standard morning repetitions, saying them out loud, followed by his personal prayers, which were silent because Clint was around. His parents had raised him to pray in that pattern, because it was important for people to hear the words of the prophets of Yoba in the repetitions, but no one else needed to know what your personal communication with the god sounded like.“Please give me strength,” Elliott prayed, his lips moving soundlessly, “give me the strength I need to be in this relationship without deluding myself, but without growing callous. Help me to see this for the opportunity to connect with another person, to grow close to someone and open my heart, and to be unselfish when the time comes to let him go. Please give me the charity of heart to not be jealous of or angry at Emily, help me to see her as a whole person, and to continue to be friends with her. Please help me also to remember to value myself and to take my own mental and physical health seriously in this time, so I will be okay and ready to show up for people even when this is over.”He continued praying for a while, over his family, the town, his work, all the normal stuff. At some point, he became aware of Clint exiting the bathroom and reentering the main room, but that didn’t stop the prayer.When Elliott was finally done, he closed the cabinet and stood, returning the pillow to the couch. When he turned, he almost jumped out of his skin. Clint was standing directly behind him.“Geez!” He spat as he flinched, “Why so close, sir?” Breathing hard, Elliott put his hand on Clint’s shoulder to steady himself.“Sorry,” Clint said, grimacing, “I don’t know why I was so close. Brain misfire, I guess,” he shrank back, but Elliott tightened his grip on his shoulder.“No, you’re fine, it just scared me.”“I didn’t know you were religious like that,” Clint said, gesturing at the end table.“Oh, uh, yeah. I don’t go to Pierre’s shrine on Sundays much, but I like to pray.”“I wouldn’t know if you were there or not, I don’t think I’ve ever been to a service here,” Clint said, shrugging.“That’s fair, I go during the week occasionally, mainly when I’m going through something hard. When I was doing the editing process on my book I was there so much Caroline just gave me a key to the place as long as I promised to lock up if I left late and not to pocket anything.”Clint nodded, his face thoughtful. “Is it important for people in a relationship to have the same religious beliefs?”Elliott was taken aback. He had expected some kind of thought on the existence of deity, or maybe a question about whether Elliott actually believed in these things, but he should have known that Clint was ever-practical in his thinking.“I think it depends on the people involved,” Elliott explained, “for some people it doesn’t matter at all, for some it’s a total deal-breaker. I would imagine that Emily wouldn’t really care. She’s not religious at all as far as I can tell, she just has her crystals and her magical connection to the forest. As long as you don’t disparage that, I don’t think she really minds what you do or don’t believe.”Clint nodded. “What about you?”This man was full of surprises today.“Honestly, I’m not sure. I think I would be fine either way, the big issue would come to how to raise the kids if I end up having any. I would hope that if I’m having a child with someone, we would be at the point where we could have rational discussions and come to a solution regardless, but up until that point it wouldn’t be a big deal to me as long as they didn’t mind me doing my prayers and celebrating religious holidays.”Clint was silent.“May I ask why you ask?”“Just curious how people feel about it,” he said, not meeting Elliott’s eyes, “I don’t know, I don’t know how I feel about religion and stuff, so it’s interesting to hear other people’s takes on it.”“What’s your current take on it?” Elliott asked, “I get to be curious too.”Clint bit the inside of his cheek. “I think I believe that there’s something out there, or at least I would like to believe in something, if that makes sense. I’m not sure that it’s Yoba, or at least not in the way that we’re taught as kids. My parents weren’t really that religious either, though, so I’m not coming from a super strong, faithful background.”“I think a lot of people find themselves in your position,” Elliott said, “and I don’t think that’s a bad thing. To be human is to search for meaning, or hope for it, at least.”“Maybe sometime I’ll pray with you to test out how it feels,” Clint said, “I don’t know most of the stuff you’re supposed to say at the beginning, though.”“It’s not an essential part of it, honestly, but you can read it if you want to say it along with me,” Elliott felt all mushy inside. Clint was so sweet. The image of the two of them praying together after a long day appeared in his mind’s eye, and it made him swoon a little.“Hmm, then maybe,” Clint shrugged. “Anyway, I better get home, I’m supposed to open shop here in about ten minutes, so I should at least head over there so Riley isn’t beating down my door.”“Of course,” Elliott said, shaking off his imaginings. “Did you leave anything here or do you have all your stuff?”“I didn’t even bring my phone with me last night,” Clint laughed, “just the clothes on my back.”“Ohh you get to do the walk of shame, then!” Elliott teasingly pointed out.Clint paled. “That makes me feel sick.”“I mean, we’re supposedly in a committed relationship, so it’s not the end of the world. People will just think you forgot to pack an overnight bag, or that you planned to go home but stayed anyway. Not a big deal.”“But they will assume we had sex,” Clint said, looking at the ground.“If they didn’t assume that already, I would be shocked,” Elliott replied. “You can borrow some of my clothes, but I doubt the optics of that would be much different. Up to you.”“I’ll just wear this,” Clint sighed, looking at his shorts, “hopefully it’s not too chilly yet.”Elliott smiled, thinking about Clint wrapped up in cold weather sweaters and scarves. Adorable.“I’ll miss you,” Elliott said, not meaning for it to come out as a whisper.Clint looked up into his eyes, and it reminded Elliott of how lit up they were the night before. Clint’s bright blue eyes didn’t need the glow of jellyfish to be striking, but he had looked like he was about to shoot ice beams out of his eyes.“I’ll miss you too. I’ll probably be kind of busy today, but I’ll be at the Stardrop for dinner like normal.”When Clint opened the door, the cool autumn breeze swept in through the house, driving out the last traces of summer air. Elliott followed him to the door to wave goodbye. Clint turned as he stepped outside, looking back at Elliott.“Last night was fun,” he said, looking bashful. “I wouldn’t mind doing it again sometime. But next time I’ll bring my toothbrush.”“Maybe I should just have one here for you if we’re going to make this a regular thing,” Elliott said, heart soaring at the idea of spending more nights in Clint’s arms.“Perfect, I’ll make you a checklist of my many needs,” Clint snorted. At that moment, Elliott noticed Alex emerging from the bushes near the bridge, entering the beach. The young man was carrying a gridball, and he briefly looked in Elliott and Clint’s direction before continuing on his way. Elliott kept his eyes fixed on Clint, pretending he didn’t notice Alex at all.Elliott had an idea. Without any warning, he grabbed the collar of Clint’s shirt and pulled him into a hard kiss, putting his other hand around Clint’s neck. Blessedly, Clint played ball, wrapping his arms around Elliott’s back tightly and lifting him maybe an inch off the ground.Elliott wondered if Clint had seen Alex before turning. He must have, otherwise what was this show for? The wind whipped Elliott’s hair back, and he knew that they looked like a scene from a movie, if people in movies still wore the rumpled clothes from the day and even season before, and had ratty hair and bad breath.When Clint put Elliott back down, Elliott gave him another peck on the cheek. “I really had an amazing night, and an even better morning. I can’t wait to do this again,” he said, a little louder than normal, hoping his voice carried to where Alex trudged through the sand. Alex paused for a moment, just barely, before continuing on. Nailed it.Elliott dropped his voice to a whisper, “Don’t look, but Alex is behind you. He’ll run and tell Haley. If Emily is jealous of us at all, this will set her off, big time.”Clint’s eyes widened. “Is he really there?”Elliott pushed down his question about why Clint kissed him back like that if he didn’t know. “Absolutely. In fact, he’s pulling out his phone right now.”Clint smiled. “You are the best person I’ve ever met, and also scarily crafty, did you know that?”“I’m literally meddling so hard in your life right now that you’ve just now realized I’m crafty, so yes, I know I’m pretty crafty, yeah,” he smirked.“In some people, I think that’s a sign they’re a master manipulator and maybe a psychopath, you know that, right?” Clint said, still smiling but narrowing his eyes.“All writers have some psychopathic tendencies, I think,” Elliott said, “but I use my powers for good. Plus, I have a pretty standard amount of empathy.”Clint shrugged. “I didn’t say I didn’t like it.” He leaned in and kissed Elliott again, softer this time, before turning and heading toward the bridge.Elliott went back into his house, closed and locked the door, and threw himself back onto his bed.“Fuck,” he said aloud to himself.This was becoming a habit.
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Fall 1“I’m telling you, it was like that scene in Beauty and the Beast where the wind is blowing and he picks her up and everything is blowing around and her dress is magic or whatever!” Alex nearly shouted, “the only difference was that the Beast was just Clint and Belle was a dude!”“Do you have to yell, hun?” Sebastian said, sitting beside his boyfriend on the couch in Emily and Haley’s living room. Emily watched, peeking out from under the same pillow as a few days ago, as Alex shot Seb a look.“I can’t believe that Elliott of all people is fucking Clint. Of all people!” Haley exclaimed. “I really didn’t think it was true, deep down, but there’s no way they didn’t fuck.”Emily groaned, covering her face fully with the pillow again. “I thought they were on their last string!” she said, voice muffled, “they’ve been arguing at the saloon, so maybe it was, like, save-the-relationship sex or something?”“Bitch, you saw them last night,” Alex interjected, “they were so… gooey. Which would have been hot if it had been anyone but Clint.”“Clint’s not that bad,” Sebastian said, “he’s weird, but he’s not disgusting.”“It’s not like he’s bad to look at,” Haley said, “it’s just the history, you know? You see a guy hit on your sister for years and you start to get a bad taste in your mouth.”“Until your sister suddenly decides she wants him,” Alex added, and Emily looked out again to see him peering down at her. Strike that, everyone was peering down at her.“Ugh, okay, yes,” she said, sitting upright and throwing the pillow at Alex’s head, “I want Clint. Are you all happy? Thrilled I finally admitted it?” She looked around. Everyone looked very smug, except for Shane, who just looked bored and kind of sad. She felt horrible for dragging him into this. He had claimed that pretending to date wouldn’t make things weird between them, but he had confessed to her last night that he was catching feelings, which she then proceeded to make worse by fucking him in the bushes on the beach. She didn’t plan on doing that, he was just so earnest and so sweet, and she was so lonely and so fixated on Clint. She had apologized profusely that morning, and he had insisted he would be okay, but she could tell from his face now that he was going to struggle with it.“Honestly, yeah, thank you for finally admitting it,” Haley said, tossing her hair. “It's been obvious for a while now. The most frustrating part was you not fessing up to it.”“You realize,” Sebastian started slowly, “if you had been honest with yourself and other people earlier on, you might have been able to catch Clint before he was fully invested in his relationship with Elliott. He might have been able to pivot more easily with less hurt feelings. Now that they're at the point where they're having sex, which we know means a LOT to Elliott, it means things are really deep. People are going to be hurt now no matter what happens.”Emily pondered Sebastian’s words. It was probably all dead on. Sebastian had a level of emotional intelligence that was startling coming from the emo computer nerd, perhaps rivaling Haley’s understanding of people. Plus, Sebastian was calmer about it, which helped.Emily swallowed back tears, realizing that if Elliott really had gone so far as to initiate a sexual relationship, he was definitely deeply in love. At least, that's what he had explained as his criteria when he was shutting her down during their friends with benefits phase. He said that if not married, he wanted to be completely committed to someone before doing that. At the time, she had found the idea romantic, but disappointing. Now, it was agonizing to know what she knew about Elliott.“I… I think they might really be in love,” Emily said slowly, feeling a sob welling up in her throat. “You all saw them last night. It was in their eyes. And Clint spending the night seals it.” Confirming this out loud was the final crack in the dam. Tears escaped their holding cells, and she began openly weeping in front of everyone. It was embarrassing and aggravating, just like everything else about this situation.Haley scooted closer to her and rubbed her back, and Shane got up from across the room and did the same on her other side.Poor Shane, so deeply kind even when she was breaking his heart right in front of his face. She had wronged him badly, and she didn't know how she was going to make it up to him.“What am I going to do?” Emily asked through her tears, looking around at everyone.“To be honest, I think you have to go about this the old fashioned way,” Haley said, “flirt. And maybe at some point eat crow and tell him what you did.”Emily shook her head. “I can never tell him about this, he would feel so violated that I tried to trick him.”“Honestly, I think if you just make it very obvious you're into him, he’ll come back to you,” Alex said, “he's been obsessed with you for so many years, that doesn't just go away.”“I agree,” Sebastian said, taking Alex’s hand, “there's gonna be some conditioning in there that will drive him back if you show interest. You just have to understand that if you succeed, Elliott is going to be devastated beyond belief.”Emily couldn't bring herself to feel bad for Elliott. She couldn't if she was truly going to do this. She had to ignore his feelings entirely. This was really love and war, huh?Fall 2“So I'm thinking if we can do lobster in the Pad Thai, he would really love that,” Clint said, running down a list of party planning items with Gus and Emily.Gus nodded along, taking notes while Emily looked on. “Do we think that Riley can help round up some lobster?” He asked, looking back at Clint.“I’ll text him right now,” Clint replied, pulling out his phone and shooting off the request. Bubbles appeared immediately.“He says he’s in, and wants to know if there’s anything else we need,” Clint confirmed, “I already have him collecting all the pomegranates in his orchard for the cake, and he’s bringing a good amount of his best wines as well.”“He’s a good egg,” Gus said, smiling, “I don’t know where he gets the energy.”“I mean, have you ever seen the man eat?” Emily snorted, “he comes in here at least once a week and just buys out the special once the regulars are done. I’ve seen him with it in plastic bags, hauling them around with him.”“He uses plastic bags because he doesn’t need silverware, no matter what the food is,” Clint explained offhandedly, focused on his list, “he can just squish the food up to his mouth so he only needs one hand.”Gus and Emily were silent. Clint looked up. They were both looking back at him, a mixture of interest and disgust plain on their faces. “What?” He asked, shrinking.“Riley and his plastic bags,” Emily said, leaning forward, “that’s so weird.”Clint shrugged. He had seen weirder behaviors from people. “You have to remember, he’s from the city, his perception of time is different. Everything can be on the go out there, including stew and pasta. Plus, he spends a lot of time in the mines. He has to be able to swing a sword and eat at the same time sometimes.”Gus shook his head. “I love that boy but he is a weirdo.”“A good egg, you just said,” Clint pointed out.“You can be a good egg and a weirdo at the same time,” Gus concluded.“Anyway, how’s the cake coming along?” Clint asked, looking at Emily. She smiled.“I’ve been practicing my decorations for the last week, let me show you!” She pulled a sheet pan covered in icing out of the fridge, pushing it in front of Clint. The icing was elegantly arranged into practice for piping delicate flowers, tiny fish, and a few books made out of hardened royal icing.“This is amazing, Emily!” Clint exclaimed, beaming, “Elliott will love this, I’m so excited to see the look on his face.” He really meant it. Despite everything going on, Clint was single minded about this party. He wanted to make sure Elliott felt so loved and special, and not just because he wanted Emily to see him going all out to be an amazing boyfriend. He really wanted to give Elliott something amazing to thank him for everything he had done for Clint, and for all the support he had been giving. Elliott deserved the world, and though no birthday party could fully express that, he really wanted to try.Emily blushed. “Anything for you, babe,” she winked. This struck Clint as odd, but he didn’t fully process it, instead going back to his list.“Okay, so you’ll have the cake ready for Friday, food is in process… Oh! Leah is helping with the decorations, so if we can get into the Saloon a little early that day to set up, that would be great,” Clint said, looking back up.“I’ll be here early to unlock it for you,” Emily said, and Clint thought he maybe saw her eyelashes fluttering a bit more than normal.“Perfect,” he moved along, “and I’m getting him kind of a big present, so I’m going to have Alex and Sebastian pull it around in my truck during the party, if that’s okay.”“Just as long as Alex isn’t the one driving,” Gus chuckled, “I wish that kid would wear his glasses.”Clint agreed, jotting that down on his paper, “Good point, I’ll make sure to tell Sebastian to keep him out of the driver’s seat. I need my truck and you need your bar to have a wall.”“Don’t say that,” Gus snorted, “I think Robin would kill me if she had to fix my wall this time of year,” he shook his head, his face showing more concern than Clint had meant to inspire with his attempt at a joke, “anything else from me?”Clint checked his list over one more time, shaking his head, “nope, I think that’s all I need to ask of you, please just put everything on my regular tab, including drinks for everyone at the party, but don’t tell Pam that.”Gus nodded. “If that’s all, I’m going to go get started on dinner, but I’ll see you later.” He turned to leave, heading through the swinging doors to the kitchen.It took Clint a beat to register that he was alone with Emily. They hadn’t been alone together in months. He looked at her, and almost flinched when he realized she was staring him down.“I think it’s really sweet that you’re doing all this for Elliott,” she said, and to Clint’s befuddlement, she reached out and put her hand on top of his as it rested atop the bar, “you are so devoted, it makes me happy to see you like this.”Clint swallowed hard. What was her deal? What was he supposed to do? He and Elliott had not rehearsed how to deal with Emily touching him. He was just going to have to talk his way through it and hope it came out right.“Yeah, I mean, I really care about him, and I just want to make him happy. He’s been so kind to me, no one has ever treated me like this, so I want to give him everything I can,” Clint finally said, deciding that opting for the honest truth in this small way would be the most effective.Emily pursed her lips. “Really? No one has ever treated you like he does?”Clint thought for a moment. “I mean, my family loves and cares for me a lot, and they believe in me, but Elliott has been a boost to my confidence, my social life, my whole person. He acts like I can do anything, and even when I say or do things that are weird, he doesn’t give up on me. He doesn’t shy away from the things that make me who I am.”Emily nodded, looking thoughtful, “I think it’s important to find people who see you for your most real self. I can agree that I don’t think most people have given you that grace, and I’ve been one of them. I let those things put me off, but I want you to know that they don’t put me off anymore.”Clint raised an eyebrow, meeting Emily’s eyes. It looked like she was trying to stare into his soul. It was exciting, but unnerving. “What do you mean?”“I mean, the things about you I was hung up on before aren’t a problem anymore,” she replied, leaning forward.Clint bit his lip, alarm bells going off in his head. Was she saying what he thought she was saying? She still hadn’t moved her hand from off his, and he was suddenly struck by how tiny her hands were compared to his. She wasn’t super short, especially not compared to some of the women in town, but damn her hands were little. If he wanted, he could easily flip his own hand over and hold hers, but she was dating Shane. Even if Elliott thought their relationship was fake, he still wanted to show that he would respect her decisions, even if that decision was made with the express purpose of making him jealous. Plus, Clint wasn’t so sure that Emily and Shane weren’t dating for real, especially after what he had seen the other night.“Great,” he replied, trying to make his voice lighter and breezier than he felt, “maybe we can go on a double date sometime.”Emily’s jaw tightened just a little. “Sure, that would be great,” she said, pulling her hand away.“Cool, we will think on it.”“Cool.”“Great.”“Yup.”Clint sat quietly for a minute. Emily was no longer making eye contact, choosing instead to look around the room. Hadn’t Elliott told him that was usually the sign of someone wanting to leave a conversation? Yeah, yeah that was probably correct.“Well, I’ll see you later tonight, then,” he said, getting up from the barstool, “have a good afternoon.”“See you around,” Emily called after him.Clint turned and waved, smiling in a way that he hoped didn’t look weird. He really needed to go practice smiling in the mirror more.As soon as the door closed behind him, he let out a huge breath. That was wild. Had Emily been flirting with him? Like, for real? He wanted to go to Elliott and get his opinion, but that would raise questions about why he was talking to Emily in the first place. He would have to bring it up after the surprise party.Clint shook his head as he started home, cursing himself for not having at least thought about what he would do if Emily started being flirtatious. Maybe he could at least ask Elliott about that? There was too much to think about. He needed to go beat some metal into shapes.
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Fall 4By the time Elliott pulled his car into the spot in the parking garage in Zuzu City, Clint felt nauseous. The whole 90 minute drive there, he had been going through phases of blabbering followed by uncomfortable silence. Clint had ever specifically gone shopping for underwear before, much less with another person. The whole ordeal seemed so much worse than he had imagined when he brought it up casually to Elliott.“Are you sure you want to spend your time on your shopping day helping me shop?” Clint stammered as they exited Elliott’s vehicle. The car was an older, well-maintained sedan with a good number of dings on the doors, though Clint wasn’t one to judge, his truck was a giant mess.Elliott smiled at Clint, reaching out his hand as he clicked the key fob to lock the car.“The store I’m taking you to is one of my favorites, it’s where I was planning on going today anyway,” he explained as Clint grabbed his hand. Clint knew his hands were sweaty, but rejecting the gesture seemed worse than the embarrassment of hand sweat.“You doing alright?” Elliott asked, tugging Clint toward a nearby elevator.“I guess the idea that people I don’t know will think I’m into this kind of thing is making me a little nervous.”Elliott cocked his head as he punched the button to call the elevator, which opened immediately in front of them.“What ‘kind of thing’ do you mean?” he asked as they stepped on.“I guess, like, men, and cute underwear, and stuff,” Clint muttered, looking around as the doors closed.“I hate to break it to you, dear,” Elliott said, hitting the button for ground level, “you are technically into men, even if that’s not your end goal, and you were the one who brought up the idea of cute underwear.”“I guess,” Clint said, shuffling his feet.“Are you scared of people thinking you’re gay?” Elliott asked.There was silence for a moment, the only sound was the whirring of the descending elevator. Clint didn’t know how to respond. It seemed silly, but it hit at a deep part of him he couldn’t explain.“I guess so,” Clint finally admitted. The elevator came to a stop and the doors slid open, revealing a small lobby with fluorescent lights, one side of the room full of windows and doors to the street.“You don’t seem to have a problem with people back home thinking you’re madly in love with me,” Elliott said, crossing to the doors and pushing one open. “Why is it so bad if complete strangers think that about you?”Clint shrugged, not wanting to say anything stupid, following Elliott out the door and onto the pavement.Clint sighed, sucking in a deep breath and filling his lungs with the air of the city. The air here was not fresh and crisp like in Pelican Town, but rather sharp and metallic almost, in a way that made him feel like he was really somewhere.“We’re just a couple blocks away,” Elliott informed Clint, leading him by the hand, “I’ve been shopping here for a few years now, it’s a great place.”Clint felt his unease increase. If they were going to somewhere Elliott knew well, Clint would be on even more unequal ground. Elliott was a great guide, and Clint trusted him, but there was still that ever-present worry that Clint would commit some breach of social protocol that would make everyone upset or uncomfortable. Elliott had explained on the drive that the store specialized in clothing for “gender non-conforming men and masculine people”, which Clint understood to an extent, but mostly just enough to feel like he was walking into an unknown.After a few minutes of walking, they came upon a storefront with mannequins dressed in outrageous and stunning suits in the window. Tin Man, blazed the neon sign above the door. Clint noticed that Elliott was looking at him, as if trying to read his face. The butterflies in Clint’s stomach erupted suddenly.“Ready?” Elliott asked, and Clint felt a squeeze of his hand. He sighed and squeezed back, nodding.This would be the hardest part, he told himself, once he was inside, it would be fine and it would happen and then be over.The two men entered the shop, and were immediately greeted by a short man wearing a collared shirt and a deep green velvet vest, folding a stack of blue jeans in and amongst a room full of so many different mannequins and styles of clothing that Clint could scarcely take them in.“Elliott,” the man said, drawing the name out in a singsong way, dropping the jeans and hustling over, “I wondered if you would be in today, happy almost birthday!”Elliott grinned. “Thank you!” He dropped Clint’s hand and gave the man a hug, “Clint, this is Darius, one of my friends from college, Darius, this is my boyfriend, Clint.”Clint’s heart skipped a beat at being introduced as Elliott’s boyfriend, but he followed his programming and stuck his hand out for Darius to shake. Darius laughed and shook his hand.“Oooh, so formal, huh?” He giggled, “Elliott got himself an upstanding gentleman, huh? And you’re a lucky guy yourself, snagging this cutie.”“More nervous than formal, I guess,” Clint said, aghast at hearing the truth coming out of his mouth.“Why are we nervous, doll?” Darius asked, putting his hands on his hips.“He’s only newly out,” Elliott explained quickly, and Clint felt a rush of gratitude at not having to explain himself, “he doesn’t know much about the community, so places like this are really novel.”“Aww, a baby gay!” Darius cooed, putting his hands over his heart, “Well let me give you the rundown; we specialize in clothes made for masculine-shaped bodies and have the sizes to match that, but our styles are all over the place. Anywhere on the spectrum from high femme to stone butch is gonna be in stock, and it kind of flows from one side of the store to the other,” Darius made sweeping motions like a flight attendant, gesturing to different areas as he spoke, “Elliott is a regular, though, so he can obviously help you out.” Darius winked.“When you say masculine-shaped bodies, what do you mean?” Clint asked, confused.“So, we shop specifically for cuts that tend to have more room in the groin, less room in the chest, and more room in the stomach as we go up in sizes as opposed to mainly increasing in the hips and breasts.”Clint nodded, putting the pieces together. He had never really thought about it, but if people wanted to dress a certain way, it would be awfully hard if the styles they wanted to wear just didn’t work for their shape at all.“That’s really neat, I like that,” he said, feeling a little less nervous. Darius seemed nice enough, though Clint wasn’t sure he liked being called a “baby gay”. Should he correct Darius and tell him he was bisexual? Was it better just to leave it be? That felt like a weird thing to correct someone on; ‘oh, actually, I also like women’. It felt like that would be a strange thing to interject when he was standing here with his supposed boyfriend, so he shut his mouth.“Awesome! Well I’ll leave y’all to browse, just let me know if I can do anything for you!” Darius winked at Elliott, and Clint felt a sudden surge of… something. Anger? Jealousy? Maybe it was jealousy. He felt it in his shoulders and upper chest. It was just a friendly wink, and Elliott wasn’t even his actual boyfriend. Why did he feel possessive? That was a crazy, nonsensical feeling, and Clint tried to shove it to the side.“Thank you!” Elliott said brightly, taking Clint’s hand again and leading him towards the back of the store.Clint felt hot when he realized that there was a whole section full of the wildest underpants he had ever seen, and he was now standing directly in the middle of it.“Here we are!” Elliott said, throwing his arms wide, “cute underwear heaven!”“There is certainly a lot of it,” Clint said, almost scared to look at anything.“What styles do you want to look for first?” Elliott asked, putting his elbows on a stack of floral briefs and resting his chin in his hands, an obvious attempt to make Clint laugh. It worked. Clint was grateful for Elliott’s attempts at easing his nerves.“I guess I did like the lace ones you were wearing the other day,” Clint said, trying to ignore the embarrassment.“Ooh yes, let’s see if we can find similar ones, we can match!” Elliott grinned, turning to a nearby drawer on the display.Two hours later, Clint and Elliott sat in a small cafe near Tin Man, munching on soups and sandwiches, shopping bags sitting close to their feet.“I’m proud of you for finding so many things you liked,” Elliott said between spoonfuls of minestrone, “I thought I’d maybe get you out of there with one or two pairs but you really went for it.”Clint avoided eye contact, by staring intently at his sandwich, not wanting to think too hard about Elliott knowing what all his underwear looked like, now.“Maybe when we get home you can do a little fashion show for me,” Elliott said, and Clint almost choked, looking up at him in horror.“I’m joking!” Elliott giggled, “I mean, unless you want to.”Clint shook his head, but then rethought it. “I mean, I guess I should have you make sure I don’t look weird, now that I think about it.”“How would it look weird? Darius got your measurements so it should all fit great.”“Like, maybe it just looks weird for a big chubby blacksmith with a full beard to own silk boxer shorts. Just, incongruous, I guess.”Elliott shook his head, “if anything, the contrast will look hot.”“I’d still prefer you reviewing them before Emily starts seeing me in them,” Clint said, feeling sick all over at the idea.Elliott smiled, “anything for you, of course.”“Is she going to think it’s weird that I even own anything like that?”“If anything, she’ll assume you got them either from me or for me, so I don’t think it will be odd to her. If she was wanting to hook up with me she definitely doesn’t have a problem with it.”Ugh, once again, Clint still couldn’t believe they had done all that. It felt almost as bad knowing now as it had back in Spring. The idea of Elliott and Emily making out made him feel gross, and jealous, and uncomfortable. It wasn’t fair for him to feel like that, of course, but he couldn’t help it.“You’re right,” Clint sighed, taking another bite of his sandwich. Elliott was always right. It was one of the annoying things about him. That and being stunning all the time and making Clint want to maybe show off his underwear and being fun to kiss. Annoying.“We can do it tomorrow night, how’s that sound?” Elliott asked, munching on a pickle spear.“Tomorrow night? Like for your birthday?” Clint asked with a start, thinking of how to coordinate that with the surprise party.“Sure, I figure we’ll meet for dinner like usual, I asked Gus to make me a cake and I thought I would invite some people for just a quiet celebration, and I’ll make sure to bring a very obvious overnight bag and head back to your place after,” Elliott said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.Clint bit his lip. Elliott had never spent the night at his place before. He would need to do some real cleaning.“Sounds like a plan, more cuddling practice would also be a good idea I think,” Clint said, trying to sound casual.Elliott looked shocked. Dang it. Clint had overstepped, hadn’t he? “I mean, if you want, you don’t have to keep helping me with that if you don’t want.”Elliott shook his head. “No, I was just surprised you asked, but that sounds like a good idea actually,” he said, running his hand through his hair.“You sure? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” Clint pressed.“Clint,” Elliott said, and Clint felt a little rattled at the sound of his name. He snapped to attention, looking Elliott in the eye.“You do not make me uncomfortable. I like being around you. Stop worrying about that.”The words were so kind for how aggressive Elliott’s tone was. Clint was both mollified and comforted by this.“I really appreciate you,” he responded, embarrassed when it came out as a near whisper, but Elliott’s eyes softened.“I appreciate you too. I hope you understand that I don’t feel like this is one-sided. I’m getting a lot out of our relationship. I need you to know that.”Clint nodded. “I’m glad to hear it, but I’m not entirely sure I believe you.”“If nothing else, you’re fun to kiss,” Elliott said, winking.Clint felt his face heat, but steeled himself to volley the flirtation. “Just fun? I was aiming for captivating.”Elliott grinned. “Take me captive any day.”Clint smiled and went back to his food, not wanting to push things too far. He was having fun with Elliott, but he had to remind himself that he would be with Emily soon, and pushing this further would get him overly invested in something that was just a means to an end.Unfortunately, that didn’t keep him from imagining what taking Elliott captive would entail.
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Fall 5When Elliott, hair straightened to perfection and overnight bag slung over his shoulder, walked through the door of the Stardrop Saloon on his birthday, he was not expecting the eruption of “Happy Birthday”s that met him. The whole town was there, packed into the bar with huge smiles reflecting his own shocked grin.“You guys!” He shouted, feeling his eyes prick with the beginnings of tears.“You didn’t really think we would let you have just a quiet birthday, did you?” Leah laughed, breaking away from the crowd to give him a hug.He didn’t know what he thought, but he was certainly grateful.“You planned all this?” Elliott asked her, releasing her from the hug.Leah giggled, “I did not, this was all Clint, actually,” she gestured at where Clint was standing.Clint was further off to the side than Elliott might have expected, not all the way in the back of the crowd but he was definitely standing behind people. Elliott fixed his eyes on Clint and strode over to him, Robin and Penny stepping out of the way, looking a little worried about being run over by the purposeful walk. Elliott wasn’t sure if this was a good idea, but it would certainly be a show. He grabbed Clint’s face in his hands and kissed him, hard.The assembled crowd loved it, whooping and hollering as Elliott felt Clint’s arms wrap around his waist, pulling him closer.“GROSS!” Screamed Jas and Vincent, their voices screeching over everyone else. Elliott pulled out of the kiss for a moment and located the children in the crowd, sticking his tongue out at them before kissing Clint again, more briefly this time. Elliott chuckled as the two screamed again, and everyone laughed. The kids were rapidly approaching their preteen years, so it was about the right time for them to start thinking love was really disgusting. Elliott had been there, once upon a time, but the phase sure hadn’t lasted long.“Alright you two, break it up,” Gus said, even though Elliott had already pulled away from Clint, “I’ve got a ton of food here and you can’t eat it if you’re eating each other’s faces instead.”Elliott giggled, blushing.“Let’s eat!” Sam shouted from somewhere in the assembly.“Let’s get drunk!” Marnie added, looking like she was already well on her way.“It’s all paid for, go crazy!” Gus said, turning to Clint and winking.There was a buffet table set out on the southern wall of the saloon, and Elliott and Clint were quickly pushed over to it, with Alex and Sebastian insisting they needed to go first so everyone else could enjoy as well.Elliott loaded up his plate with Thai food and small pastries, letting himself be overwhelmed by emotion with each new thing that he noticed was so perfectly made for him and his tastes. By the time he got to his seat, he had given out more hugs than he could count. Emily swept over with a bottle of pomegranate wine, his absolute favorite.“There’s a lot of this,” she said, setting it down, “feel free to truly go nuts, like Gus said. You cannot possibly drink it all without your liver shriveling up.”Elliott chortled and grabbed the bottle, popping the top off and filling up Clint’s glass before his own. “I really appreciate your part in this, Emily,” he said, setting the bottle down, “I know how much work you do whenever someone has an event here, and I hope the plentiful wine makes it so you can enjoy today more instead of mixing drinks all evening.”She smiled, though her eyes flicked more than once to Clint while she was speaking, “I actually am really hoping for that, too. There’s even a cooler of stuff for Penny, Alex, and the kids, so everyone should be pretty self-sufficient.”“We will be more than self-sufficient, I’m sure,” Elliott replied, taking the first sip of his wine.“Good,” said Emily, standing for just a beat too long before walking away. It struck Elliott as odd for her to be awkward, but the way she had been darting her eyes back and forth to Clint told him all he needed to know.It should have been a relief, he thought, that his work with Clint was basically done. The girl of Clint’s dreams was all lined up and ready to go, and Elliott would be able to return to his normal life of not constantly mentoring someone through basic interpersonal relationships. A few months ago, he would have been thrilled to have accomplished what he set out to do. Now, though, he felt a sting of jealousy.Nothing has happened yet, he reminded himself. For now, for tonight, for this party, Clint was as good as all his. He could be close to, hug and kiss Clint as much as he wanted that night. With a full glass of wine, a plate full of incredible food, and a room full of friends, he had to put the future aside. Tonight was going to be all about Elliott and what made him happy.With Elliott engaged in a deep conversation about the storytelling in tabletop RPGs with Abigail and Sam, Clint had the opportunity to signal Sebastian and Alex to pull the truck around to the front of the saloon. The two rushed off, looking overly excited to be participating in the secret plan. Clint’s stomach filled with butterflies as he thought about the presentation of the gift. He had spent a lot of time thinking about it, so hopefully the thought showed, both for Emily’s sake so she could see that he was a great partner, but also for Elliott’s, to thank him for everything he had done and show him what an incredible, special person he was.Clint tried to focus on the conversation at hand. He had always been interested in these kinds of games, but never had enough friends to play with. He wondered if he might somehow get himself an invitation to play, but realized that might not be possible anytime soon once he had “broken up with” Elliott. Maybe since Haley was Alex’s friend, and Alex was dating Sebastian and therefore included in the games, he could leverage Haley as Emily’s sister to get invited? That seemed complicated, but possible if he played his cards right. Sebastian had been hanging out at Haley and Emily’s place more, Clint had noticed.“You two should join us sometime!” Sam said, breaking through Clint’s train of thought as if he could read Clint’s mind.“I’d love that, actually!” Clint replied immediately, his heart racing a little at the idea of a social invitation. He looked at Elliott, who was beaming back at him.“I didn’t expect you to be so excited about it,” Elliott chuckled, “but I’m definitely interested. Maybe if I get enough experience I could DM sometime, I think it would be an interesting way to flesh out some stories I’ve been chewing on.”“Sebastian is DMing the next campaign, we’ll let him know we invited you guys, I’m sure he’ll be fine with it. He seems to really like you two,” Abigail said.“Does he actually like us, or does he just want gay couple friends?” Elliott joked.Abigail laughed, but Elliott’s question made Clint think. He wondered if, since he was being invited to these games as part of a package deal with Elliott, he would be able to continue playing after they had “broken up”. He might be ejected if there was a sense that bad blood existed between the two. He knew he was less socially desirable than Elliott, even with all the new changes he had implemented. There was no getting around the fact that people had considered him weird and off putting for a long time, and a few months of ostensibly banging the hottest guy in town wasn’t going to undo all that damage.The sound of his truck’s backup alarm beeping interrupted Clint’s thoughts, and his pulse quickened. It was time! He grabbed Elliott’s hand.“I hate to interrupt, but your gift from me is here!” Clint said, pulling Elliott toward the door.Elliott gave Clint a suspicious grin, but followed as Clint tugged his hand more.People pushed out the door of the saloon behind the two men, eager to see the gift, which Clint had hoped would happen, but he was still nervous about doing this in front of everyone.As they exited, Alex was just opening the tailgate of the truck, and Clint couldn’t take his eyes off Elliott’s expression. It visibly took him a moment to understand what he was seeing, but when realization dawned on Elliott’s face, Clint felt like his heart was bursting.Elliott covered his mouth with his free hand, eyes wide with wonder, gripping Clint’s hand almost to the point of pain.“Happy birthday, sweetheart,” Clint said, hopefully just loud enough that people would hear over the gasps and chatterings of the crowd as they looked at the gift.It was as perfect as the desert trader had promised Clint it would be, a great big upright piano made of rich rosewood, elegantly carved in swirling patterns that highlighted the wood grain beautifully. The Dark Piano was hard to come by, but Clint had discovered that he could trade it for 999 coal in the desert, which was a hefty amount of coal to produce, but it had been worth it for Elliott’s reaction.Sam and Shane hopped up into the truck bed along with Alex and Sebastian, and the four lowered it to the ground, complete with a red velvet tufted piano bench.Clint noticed Elliott seemed frozen to the spot, so he yanked the man’s hand again, pulling him toward the piano, close enough to touch.Elliott, still speechless, reached his free hand out, running it over one of the carvings on top of the piano, and then down to the fallboard, which he delicately lifted to reveal the ivory-colored keys.Clint’s cheeks hurt from smiling so hard.“Play something!” came Gus’s voice from the assembled townspeople. Elliott’s head snapped up, and he looked at Clint, his awed face breaking into a smile.“Can I?” He asked, sounding breathless, like the wind had been knocked out of him.Clint laughed, “it’s yours, of course!”Elliott looked at the piano, which sat somewhat caddywompus on the cobbled pavement, and slowly took a seat. It was only once he was settled that he let go of Clint’s hand. Elliott ran his fingers carefully over the keys, took a deep breath, and began the first slow chords of Liebestraum No. 3.Clint was transfixed. He had watched Elliott play the piano plenty of times before, but this felt new, and strangely raw. He thought that everyone else was entirely silent while Elliott played, but he likely wouldn’t have been able to hear anyone else anyway, with the way his whole world seemed to rotate around the piano and the pianist in that moment.When Elliott finished, everyone clapped uproariously, Clint included. Elliott was beaming ear to ear as he turned and looked at everyone, hopping to his feet and giving a low bow, the hair that fell around his face nearly sweeping the ground.When the applause was over, Elliott moved to Clint, wrapping him in an enormous hug. Clint felt warm all over, and held Elliott as tight as he dared. When Clint finally pulled back a bit to look at Elliott’s face, there were a few tears slowly chasing each other down his freckled cheeks.“Thank you so much,” Elliott said in a near whisper, “this means the world to me.”Clint smiled, and with a thrill of nervousness, kissed the tip of Elliott’s nose before whispering in his ear, “check inside the bench”.Elliott cocked his head, but took a step back and did as instructed. He lifted the velvet seat carefully, its hinge squeaking slightly, which Clint made a note of to fix later. From within, he pulled out a large, glossy white book with pictures of smiling teenagers splashed onto the cover. Gaylestown High School 2003 Yearbook it announced in block letters.Elliott looked confused, and Clint couldn’t stop himself from jumping in and explaining, even though he knew he should probably let him figure it out for himself. “I once told you,” Clint said, “that if you went to the Flower Dance with me, I would tell you my senior yearbook quote. I’m making good on that now.”Elliott laughed, “oh man, you’re gonna let me see the photo, too? This is the best birthday ever!” He opened the book to the table of contents, and Clint watched as his finger slid down the page to the senior category before flipping to the page and searching through the alphabetical pictures before landing on Clint’s photo.At the time, Clint had thought the picture was pretty nice. It was a standard suit and tie picture, same as everyone else’s, and his hair and acne hadn’t been too bad that day. Looking at it now, Clint felt a softness towards his past self. Sure, he looked goofy, but he mostly just looked young.Clint pulled his eyes away from the photo to study Elliott’s eyes as he read the quote, quietly, aloud: “I’m gonna run into the woods, and I’m Never coming back! And when I come back, I’m gonna be the knife master!”Clint cringed, but still thought it was an appropriate combination of funny and hardcore that represented him well at that age. Elliott, however, just smiled harder, and he wiped his eyes before looking up and meeting Clint’s own eyes.“I can see why you made me wait til you trusted me more,” Elliott laughed, voice obviously choked with emotion, “but I love it. It’s so you.” He closed the yearbook and hugged it to his chest. “Later you’ll have to sit and go through this with me, I want to see all your friends and the things you got up to as a kid.”“Later,” Clint chuckled, blushing as Elliott leaned in and kissed him on the cheek.“Get a room!” jeered Sebastian, who was perched on the tailgate of Clint’s truck. Clint suddenly realized they were still surrounded by people. In his mind, they were in their own little world, but in reality a good portion of the town was watching them have their little moment. Clint specifically noticed that Emily was staring daggers at them. She looked distinctly unhappy, until she met his eyes, and then she grinned. Weird. Clint filed that away to discuss with Elliott later.Clint, not wanting things to get weird, pointed at the saloon, “let’s go back inside, it’s time for cake!”