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Seungmin threaded his fingers through his red locks, his eyes trained on his reflections. For once, he wished he could be late, for once he wished he didn’t have such a high ranking position, for once he wished he wouldn’t be alone in an office almost all day
- every day and then come home to an empty apartment.

He wasn’t necessarily depressed, but he wasn’t necessarily happy, either. His job was demanding, the pay was good, definitely. But he missed having free time, getting time off was like finding a needle in a stack of needles; but you were looking for a specific kind of needle - it couldn’t be too long but it also couldn’t be too short. Seungmin wanted more than just one day off, he wanted at least three days but apparently that was too much.

It wasn’t the CEO that wasn’t allowing time off, it was other board members telling him that his requests wouldn’t make it through to Mr. Bhang because they wouldn’t allow it. Sometimes, Seungmin wished he could punch them in their faces, but he knew violence on office grounds was very unacceptable and refrained - much to his own disapproval.

He let out a heavy sigh, gliding his hand through his hair again - he didn’t feel like styling it today, it would take too much time. He didn’t feel like wearing a suit, either. He just wanted a lazy day, a day where he didn’t have to work, didn’t have to see the other uptight suits, and didn’t have to attend boring meetings that made him wish that his brain would bleed out of his ears.

So he didn’t. Wear a suit, that is.

He threw on a regular white t-shirt and a pair of black slacks, no dress shirt, no tie, no blazer - to hell with the other board members if they’re pissed about his stylistic choices. He threw on a grey jacket and his black and white nike’s - definitely not what he should be wearing to work but he does love to push buttons. Gosh, and they can’t fire him - demand him to go home and change, yes. But would he? No. Why

should

he? What he wears would not affect his work nor anyone else’s - if they’re distracted by a change in

his

routine, that’s

their

problem.

He slipped his glasses on his nose and grabbed his bag as he headed out the door. He could feel the swirling emotions in his gut that this was a bad move, but something about it made him almost… Giddy, in a sense.

He was the youngest and undoubtedly the most impressive member on the board. Besides, he’s got a few perks the rest of the board doesn’t; after all, his brother, Minho, is the CEO’s secretary and they are

very

close, disgustingly so in Seungmin’s opinion. He had been scarred a few too many times before he decided to move out.

He still shudders from time to time whenever he visits his brother - never enters the apartment, always knocks and rings the doorbell until it’s answered - much to the older two’s displeasure.

“Seungmin-ah, we told you it wasn’t locked.”

Minho would tell him.

“Well, excuse me for not wanting to see you getting railed on any surface the second I walk in, hyung.”

Seungmin would hear Mr. Bhang choke on his coffee in the kitchen but ultimately the only thing that would come in response would be

“you’re just jealous Sungie isn’t railing

you

.”

He hated that the older was right, in a sense. He

did

have really strong feelings for his best friend, and that ruined any chance he had at having an actual relationship, ruined any chance of feeling anything like

that

for anyone else. And, honestly, he wasn’t upset by it. He knew he liked Jisung, he liked everything about him - he was stupidly funny, endearing, caring, loving, kind, talented - oh so so talented, he could sing and rap and his voice was so sweet, and soft and Seungmin loved it. Did he mention he liked everything about Jisung?

The sirens pulled him out of his thoughts, he blinked a few times, bringing his attention back to reality. He pulled over quickly
and allowed the cars to pass him at high speed, he wondered if there was an accident close-by, if it would prevent him from getting to work on time - it would be a real excuse if he was late, definitely. Not that he would have to justify himself for being a few minutes late.

He shook off the lingering thoughts about Jisung and got back on the road - once someone was kind enough to let him, at least. He understood people being in a rush, and he didn’t exactly have road rage but sometimes people are just plain rude and have no manners on the road.

Unfortunately, the accident wasn’t blocking his path, so he had no excuse to be late. Unfortunate for him, but very fortunate for the board members who like to run him ragged and send him in a million different places throughout the day. Sometimes he would tell them off, that he already has things to do and that they should be getting their own work done and not pushing it onto other people because they’re lazy and irresponsible.

He pulled into his usual parking space, another heavy sigh falling from his lips. He couldn’t help it. He pulled the keys out of the ignition and hooked them to one of his belt loops.

Great,

he sighed, for the third time if we’re keeping track.

“Just another day,” he mumbled, pushing the door open. “Just another day.” It seemed no matter how much he reaffirmed this, it seemed like he was thrust into a never ending loop in a some sort of sick alternate universe where he was forced to live the same day over and over until the end of his days, an early retirement or until he found his way out of the accursed hell he found himself in.

It really wasn’t all that bad, but it was still the new year. A new year, his best friend had gotten his job at a company as well - Seungmin couldn’t remember the name , or maybe Jisung hadn’t told him, either way… Seungmin and him made sure to text each other when they had time, Seungmin even prepped him for the interview, gave him pep talks and made it super super easy for him. Seungmin was happy for him, sent him money and told him to pretend he was there paying for it - because he couldn’t get out of work. Another unfortunate thing that Seungmin was mad about.

It was Jisung’s first real job after university and he had been struggling to get one, he spent the last year wasting his time at a dead-end job that kept promising a promotion and never gave it to him all the while Jisung was applying to companies consistently, trying to put his degree to use. Whenever they had time though, Seungmin would buy some soju and they’d drink together. Sometimes Jisung would end up crying, sometimes he’d end up flirting with Seungmin. They had almost kissed once - Seungmin put an end to it rather quickly, telling Jisung that he was drunk and they couldn’t do anything like

that.

Jisung would whine and pout

“I wanna kiss my best friend,”

he would say.

“There’s nothing wrong with me kissing you, right?”

And how Seungmin would want to indulge his wants, but he was drunk - they both kind of were, but Seungmin had half the mind to stay more sober. Jisung was just a lightweight. Seungmin - on more than one occasion- gave into Jisung, and he remembered that night way more vividly than he should have.

He remembered Jisung crawling into his lap - normal in their relationship. But what wasn’t normal was how hard he was, how he pressed himself against Seungmin, and asked him

“just this once?”

and how could Seungmin tell him no? To Seungmin, that was probably the best night he’d ever had with Jisung - it was on an entirely different scale than every night he ever spent with Jisung.

Jisung had touched him; his arms, his neck, under his shirt. He had kissed him, his neck, his collarbones never his lips, Seungmin didn’t let him. They had left marks of deep pinks and purples on each other, all while Jisung whined above him, grinding their hips together until they both ultimately came in their pants.

It sobered them both up and Jisung had started to apologise and Seungmin told him they both did it, and they never talked about it again, and it hasn’t happened since. Not that Seungmin would complain, he didn’t want to jeopardise their friendship, he didn’t want to ruin anything they already had, what they had was more than enough. Seungmin loved him and Jisung loved him too, but maybe they loved each other in different ways. Seungmin wanted him, however Jisung was willing to give himself.

Seungmin sighed again (oh he does this a lot), pressing the button for his floor. Leaning against the railing he let his mind drift again, As stated, he remembered that night too well, he thought about it alot - not that he would admit that to Jisung or himself. But sometimes, he thought about it. The way Jisung set the soju bottle down and shuffled into his lap, hovering over him as he buried his face in Seungmin’s neck.

“Hyung?”

Seungmin remembered calling him a few times, trying to stop the giggles from sounding in his throat as Jisung nuzzled his nose against his neck. Jisung was always overly touchy, always had been. Seungmin was sensitive, always had been. He had tried pulling Jisung off, his warm breath was getting too much for him, goosebumps had prickled across his skin, and he tried being normal about the growing hard-on in his pants.

Jisung, however, hadn’t moved, settling his face in the crook of Seungmin’s neck as he finally sat down, no longer propped up on his knees, his ass pressing into Seungmin’s barely-there erection and Jisung’s noticeable one pressing into Seungmin’s stomach. Seungmin was almost too quick in grabbing Jisung’s waist, the movement jerked Jisung slightly and Seungmin choked out a moan. Jisung either hadn’t heard it or didn’t comment on it. “Seung-ah…” He had called then, pulling back enough so their eyes could meet. “Can… Can I kiss you?” Seungmin would swear on their six years of friendship that his heart stopped at that question. He had hesitated to answer, too. How should he have answered that? He wasn’t sure. “Not yet,” he had mumbled. “What can I do?” Was the response he was met with. And Seungmin didn’t want to take advantage of him, no, but Seungmin didn’t want to waste it either. “What do you want to do?” Seungmin wasn’t sure if Jisung gave a response then or if he just dove into it, that moment was hazy for him, but the next thing he knew, Jisung had licked up his neck. His tongue flat against his skin, one hand in his hair while the other slipped under his shirt.

Jisung had started to kiss down his jawline, gently at first. Down his neck, and then sucked the skin, slowly but surely creating marks. Seungmin did his best to keep his moans down, clutched Jisung’s hips extra hard when he started getting rough, accidentally bucking his own hips up causing moans to slip from Jisung’s lips every time. Seungmin remembered his head tipping back, as Jisung kissed further down, his head lulling to the side to give the older man better access to mark him up as much as he pleased.

He remembered Jisung unbuttoning his shirt - dress shirt, though it was late in the evening, he hadn’t gotten around to changing his clothes. Seungmin didn’t stop him, he didn’t want to - even though Jisung was intoxicated, so was he. Barely in his right mind as he started leaning back, pulling Jisung down with him.

“I want to hear you,”

he murmured, licking the shell of Seungmin’s ear. Seungmin shuddered, the mix of Jisung’s breath tickling his ear and his deep voice sounding so closely to him. Seungmin felt more drunk in that moment, drunk on Jisung, not the soju, not the pleasure, but

Jisung.

Jisung readjusted above him, Seungmin groaned in his throat when Jisung deliberately brushed their cocks together. If he wasn’t fully hard before (he was), he definitely was now.

“I want to hear you, Seungie,”

he whispered, their lips barely brushing. Seungmin leaned his head back, his fingers digging into Jisung’s hips as he dragged him across his cock.

“Hyung…”

he wasn’t going to hold back. Jisung wanted to hear him, so he was going to let him. He let out a pleased hum when Jisung returned his lips to his neck, kissing, sucking, biting- nipping, really. Jisung settled on a teasingly slow pace, grinding against Seungmin slowly, and Seungmin hadn’t noticed when he started to beg, plead for more.

“Such a good puppy,”

and fuck, that had more of an effect on Seungmin than he thought it would have. Jisung had always compared him to a puppy, even when they first met. They had played a word association game, Jisung got the word ‘puppy’ and Seungmin’s name slipped past his lips, almost naturally. Seungmin had been embarrassed and he hadn’t seen it, he still doesn’t, but he doesn’t tell Jisung not to call him that.

“Are you my good puppy?”

He asked, a particularly hard thrust accompanied the question. A sharp curse slipped from his lips as he bucked up against him.

“Are you?”

he pressed. Seungmin whined, his hands sliding up Jisung’s sides and under his shirt.

“Words, Seung-ah,”

a kiss to his cheek.

“Are,”

kiss to his jaw,

“you,”

another kiss.

“My,”

another kiss,

“good puppy?”

He sucked the skin just above his collarbone, albeit a little harshly - it made Seungmin’s head fuzzy.

“Y-yes,”

he choked out.

“Good! Mmm… ‘m good puppy.”

his words were slurred, mumbled.

“Your good mh.. Puppy.”

Jisung had rewarded him, sucking more hickies into his skin, grinding their clothed cocks together as they both actively seeked relief.

Seungmin could hear his moans getting higher - much to his own embarrassment- as he reached his orgasm. It came with almost no warning, he felt the warmth fill his boxers before he could register it happened. Jisung was above him, hips stuttering as he let out a soft groan.

They were silent for a few minutes, the effects of the soju wearing off as they caught their breath.

“Seungmin..?”

the younger let out a hum in response.

“This… um,”

at that moment, Seungmin looked up, Jisung was still in his lap, straddling his thighs now - but all he could think in that moment was

please don’t tell me this was a mistake, please don’t regret this.

Seungmin placed his hands on Jisung’s thighs, squeezing gently,

“talk to me, hm?”

his voice was rough, his throat felt dry, he still felt out of breath. Jisung was so

so

pretty like this; hair matted with sweat, dripping down his neck, his pupils still blown wide, sparkling so - as always.

“I- I’m sorry if… If this wasn’t um.. I don’t..”

He floundered, stuttered. Seungmin sat up, trying to not visibly grimace at the sticky feeling in his pants. He cupped Jisung’s face in one hand, threading his fingers through his black hair with the other. Jisung met his eyes, they were sparkling with tears, not their usual light, and that hurt in a way Seungmin wasn’t sure how to begin explaining.

“Jisung… You’re still

my

best friend. This… It doesn’t change that fact. I - I love you, Sungie. Okay?”

And Seungmin knew Jisung wouldn’t read into that, he never did. Seungmin was never one for outwardly expressing his emotions like that unless he felt the words were needed. Jisung searched his eyes; he wasn’t sure what the older had been looking for, but it seemed like he found it, at least, based on the smile that slowly broke across his features.

“I love you too, Seung-ah.”

Seungmin tried to pretend that hadn’t sent his heart into overdrive. The softness of his voice, the same fondness it always carried, seemingly reserved for him. It definitely did not cause his heart to reach a concerning rate, definitely not causing his watch to start beeping - which was embarrassing to explain to Jisung that his heart rate only spiked because of everything that happened. Jisung apologised, Seungmin kissed his head and said it was fine.

They went through the motions of that night simply, Jisung stayed over, borrowing clothes from Seungmin and they cuddled as they slept together.

Back to our regularly scheduled program; Seungmin pushes off the railing of the elevator, still very much in his own thoughts, shuffling through the corridors as he makes his way to his office, ignoring the pointed stares from his colleagues - clearly not approving his choices for the day.

His red hair was a choice between him and Jisung for Christmas, Jisung had to dye his hair again and Seungmin wanted a change. Jisung had picked the colour, Jisung had a lot of experience dying hair, not being able to sit in a salon chair or let strangers touch his hair he had to learn on his own. Seungmin tried to be normal while Jisung was putting the dye in, tried to be normal and not get lost in Jisung’s touch. His hands - though gloved - had felt nice, evenly coating every strand in blood red dye. Seungmin had been nervous it would be bright, but Jisung had chosen a darker shade, much to Seungmin’s relief.

Seungmin had his hand on the door to his office when he heard a voice behind him.

“Mr. Kim, you’re aware your outfit is inappropriate, yes?”

You realise I don’t care, yes?

He bit back on his immediate thoughts, settling on something

appropriate

to respond with. “Mr. Park, I didn’t have the time this morning-”

“That isn’t an excuse Mr. Kim.” He cut him off, Seungmin’s tongue pushed against his cheek, irritation swelling already. “There is a dress code in place and it is expected to be followed. Do not push it off just because you think you’re better than everyone else-”

Seungmin spun to face him. “Has it occurred to you that I

am

better? Hm? Has it occurred in your

pea-sized

brain that

I

am the best member on the board, despite being the most inexperienced and the youngest? Oh, but maybe I’m only the best because I put up with your bullshit and do your work for you - you know? The work you find yourselves too good to be doing and work you think is a waste of time. That I’m the one in charge of having to do everything for the meetings, setting everything up, rescheduling when you guys decide to push it back or put it off because something else is more important. Or rather, when you guys have me running all over this stupid building doing deliveries that are

not

in my job description because it got misdelivered to you and you’re too lazy to take it to the correct person.” He took a deep breath, “I’m sorry I’m not following the dress code today,”

I’m not sorry at all.

“And I’m sorry if my words offend you,”

I’m not.

“I’m sick of being treated as someone

lesser

because you all deem me so. Your opinions are not what got me this position.

I

did.

Myself. My

hard work. So whatever else you want to say… Shove it because I don’t want to hear it.”

With that, he turned back around, pushing the door open and slamming it shut behind him.

He felt a little better, sinking into his chair, resting his head against the faux leather. For a moment, he thinks he’s insane, Mr. Park could very well file a complaint to Mr. Bhang but Seungmin wasn’t sure if he would take him seriously or dismiss it and just ask Seungmin about it.

He let out yet another sigh, as he slouched in the chair, spinning it gently as he closed his eyes, waiting for the inevitable moment he’ll be called from his comfortable office into a stuffy meeting room with equally stuffy people.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Jisung is good at a lot of things; rapping, dancing, singing, lyric writing, playing the guitar and the piano. However, waking up early is not on that list; so, when his alarm for six am blares, his first instinct is to whine in protest and roll over to turn it off. On this list of things he’s good at, is being clumsy. He doesn’t manage to shut the alarm off, but he does manage to fall off his bed and land on the floor.

“Ugh,” he sits up, rubbing his chest with one hand as he smacks his alarm clock with the other. “I should get rid of that..” he mumbles sleepily, gripping the bed side as he pulls himself up. His first thought is coffee, but he should get ready first. Maybe he could pick his coffee up on the way to work? No, he’ll be late. Maybe he could just suffer and make black coffee at home, suffer without his americano.

With a groan, he shuffled into the bathroom, brushing his teeth, washing his face (probably with more vigor than necessary) before returning to his room. Fumbling with his wardrobe, picking out the closest thing he had to professional clothes and clumsily putting them on, harshly tucking his shirt into his jeans until a knock at his door startles him. He walks over, tugging his jeans up more to at least button them before he answers the door. He cracks it but sees no one out there. He narrows his eyes as he glances down the hall (both ways) before looking down.

His heart skips a beat as he sees a plastic bag and a drink on the ground. He hadn’t ordered anything and if Seungmin had gotten it for him, he thinks he might melt. So, he crouches down, inspecting the receipt taped to the bag.

Med Iced Americano, NY Style cheesecake (slice).

And a note,

please add napkins, he’s messy.

That little brat.

Nonetheless, he brought it in, closing the door with his foot. A small smile graced his lips as he thought of the countless times Seungmin has spoiled him like this, and every time it had brought a smile to his lips.

Jisung stabbed the straw into the plastic cup, sighing contentedly as he swallowed the liquid.

Seungmin definitely knew him best, no doubt about it. Well, Seungmin knew him best, yes, but his brother definitely reads him best. And it annoys Jisung to no end, he hates how well Minho can read him, it’s definitely irritating. To no end. Minho knows practically every thought he’s had about Seungmin, sometimes whispering in his ear

“stop undressing my brother with your eyes,”

much to Jisung’s embarrassment.

But Minho understands Jisung’s hesitance, his vulnerability - rather his inability to be vulnerable. His inability to be honest with himself about his feelings and honest to other people about his feelings. With Minho, though, that came easy. Almost too easy. It was a little scary to Jisung, at first. Sometimes he found himself blabbing to Minho about something endearingly stupid Seungmin had done, or something uncharacteristic; and once they got closer and his own painfully obvious crush because apparent to Jisung, Minho would listen to the younger whine about things Seungmin had done that he found attractive that day - not that those things would change too much usually just Seungmin pushed his hair back, Seungmin looked hot on the pitching field with a couple of their friends, Seungmin squished his face, Seungmin picked up his books for him- Seungmin literally doing anything and Minho would listen, let him rant, feed him. He practically lived with Minho and Seungmin after school and whenever they had breaks at school, or during the summer - not because Jisung didn’t want to be with his parents but because his parents weren’t always home and he couldn’t cook. Minho didn’t mind and Seungmin seemed happy to have a study buddy - even when Jisung would whine or get a few questions wrong - Seungmin made it easy to learn and memorise material, and Jisung was always thankful for Seungmin being patient with him.

“You know,”

Minho said once, during a break in their university years.

“I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but Seungmin seems to favour you out of all your friends.”

Jisung had shook his head at that, not wanting any kind of hope from it.

“It isn’t that he favours me, Minho it’s-”

Minho had cut him off.

“Hyung.”

He had corrected.

“Minho

hyung

, it’s… We’ve been friends the longest. That’s all it is, Seungmin and I know each other the best and… That’s all it is.”

Minho had narrowed his eyes at the younger, scoffed disbelievingly but said nothing more, in fact he never brought it up again. Perhaps not wanting Jisung to think he’s trying to push them together or anything, or something.

Jisung glanced down at the stove clock, a curse falling from his lips once he registered the time. Downing the rest of his americano he hurried back down to his room and grabbed his bag, slipping on an oversized sweater (he’s sure that isn’t too professional but he doesn’t care, it’s

cold

!) before running back down the hall and pulling into his converse (that he’s also sure he would get told off for) and barreling out the door.

He was sure if he’d get into loads of trouble for being late on his first day, he still had time but he was cutting it close, he had thirty minutes to get to work now. Which would have been fine if there wasn’t an accident where he needed to turn. He sighed heavily, doing a U-turn to a side street to find a way around his annoying issue.

He pulled into a parking space, taking a few deep breaths before exiting the vehicle. He kept pushing the ‘down’ button on the elevator, wishing it would hurry up already before sighing and waiting (im)patiently for it to come down when it was done. Whoever worked on the 14th floor, he wished them a terrible day for making him even later than he already was.

He grumbled to himself when the elevator finally settled down and opened up for him, he clicked the second floor button and pulled his phone from his pocket.

7:15, could be worse,

he thought. He was right, he could be an entire hour late instead. He was glad it wasn’t like that.

The elevator came to a stop, jolting him slightly before the doors opened. He rushed out only to be immediately met by what he assumes is his supervisor, but he could be wrong - he’s usually wrong. The man was buff, his shirt stretched over his muscles, neatly tucked into a pair of black slacks, and a blazer slung over his shoulder. Jisung tried not to ogle him - he has eyes, he can appreciate.

“Sir I am so

so

sorry I’m late.” He pocketed his phone, before meeting the man’s eyes. “There was an accident so I had to take a longer route and-” the man placed a hand on his shoulder, “kid, look. I don’t know you, you don’t know me. Let’s take a step back, yeah?” Jisung nodded. “I’m Han Jisung, it’s my first day here. I’m late because of an accident in my… General neighbourhood.” The man raised a brow but didn’t comment. Jisung had tried to sound genuine, he didn’t want to be seen as a liar but he didn’t think ‘where I need to turn to get onto the main street’ sounded very… helpful, to his case.

“I’m Seo Changbin. I’m not in charge of your floor, but make sure you explain your situation better to your actual supervisor - his name is Mark, Mr. Tuan to you. He should be in that office right over there, just talk to that lady at the desk there, yeah?” He had pointed in the general direction of the office and, while Jisung could see inside, he could also see that Mark - Mr. Tuan was deadly hot and he would not survive this interaction.

He barely registered the pat Changbin had given his shoulder before walking past him into the elevator.

Oh gosh, he’s not going to survive this.

“Um… Hello,” he mumbled as he approached the lady at the desk - he assumed she was his assistant - an assistant to him or something like that. “Yes?” She looked up at him, and then immediately gasped. “Oh! You’re Han Jisung, right?” He nodded, a bit bewildered but let her continue. “Oh, good… So… You’re going to be Mr. Tuan’s new assistant-”

What?

“And! That means I get to go back to my usual work! Thank god you’re finally here! I’m so glad I don’t have to do this anymore.” She lifted her laptop from the desk returning to what Jisung assumes was her actual desk?

What the actual hell just happened?

He took a deep breath - albeit a shaky deep breath, but nonetheless. He steeled himself as he turned to the door. He lifted his hand and rapped on the door. He waited for a voice to come from the other side of the door, but nothing came. He knocked again. Nothing. He left out a frustrated huff, and knocked again, louder.

“Come in,” he heard finally.

Jisung did. He forced the door open, a little irritated, and maybe with a bit more force than necessary. He earned a brow raise from Mr. Tuan but Jisung hadn’t noticed, he was far too busy checking the man out. He had a smaller face, with slightly intimidating features (although all (hot) men are slightly intimidating to Jisung), dark brown eyes, and his hair was a soft brown though styled back. And well, fuck, Jisung wasn’t sure he would be able to get a word out.

“Sit.” He said simply, gesturing to the chair in front of him. Jisung took a hesitant step forward, closing the door behind him. He shuffled awkwardly across the room, sitting in the chair and avoiding eye contact with the other man as discreetly as possible.

“I hope you’ll forgive me, I hadn’t meant to ignore you…” Jisung looked up, and instantly regretted it. Gosh he’s handsome, he could feel the embarrassed flush creeping up his neck. Then he realised that Mr. Tuan was staring at him, almost expectantly, “J-Jisung! Han Jisung…” He looked down, hoping the man wouldn’t comment about his answer. And he didn’t.

“I really didn’t mean to ignore you, Jisung. I was on the phone with Mr. Bahng.” Jisung let out a soft

oh,

before glancing back up. Mr. Tuan was still staring at him, his dark brown eyes seemed a bit less scary up close, soft, almost.

“Although,” he leaned over his desk, narrowing his eyes down at Jisung’s converse. “I assume you’re aware of the dress code,” his eyes met Jisung’s again. “I’ll allow it for today but I do hope you have something more… Professional.” Jisung thought for a moment, before shaking his head.

“Not… Not necessarily, no…” then an idea popped in his head. “I- I could probably borrow something from my friend until I can get a pair of my own?” Mr. Tuan scrunched in his nose in what Jisung thinks was a lapse in judgement on how that could be perceived.

“How about this?” He asked, “I’ll allow you to wear your converse for a month, and with your first cheque, you buy something?” Jisung didn’t hesitate to answer, instead nodding and thanking him. The older man waved it off with a mutter of ‘you’re not the first.’

“S-so… The girl- uh woman, who was sitting at that desk… Told me I’m your new assistant?” He regretted the words the second they left his mouth. He wasn’t sure why but there was an ungodly feeling that twisted in his stomach.

“Ah, I see… I wasn’t informed that today was your start day.” Jisung wasn’t sure if that meant he himself got the date wrong or if Jisung is a day early - oh god if Jisung got the date wrong he felt would never come back from that.

“Doesn’t matter. You are, it seems. And you’re… Late. By thirty minutes now.” He glanced from his computer to Jisung, a brow raised as if awaiting an explanation.

“Uh! I um… I was fifteen minutes late due to an accident on um…”

Gosh can he stop staring like that he’s making me nervous.

“I had left a bit late… and when I got to where I needed to turn there was an accident being um… Cleaned up… I had to backtrack several streets just to get there… T- to get here..”

Even I don’t believe myself.

“Alright. Well, there was an accident. And you do live in that direction. I’ll let it pass today, but try not to be late tomorrow, yeah?” Jisung held in the relieved breath he had almost let out, not wanting to possibly incriminate himself somehow - suits are sensitive, he learned that from Seungmin.

Oh, Seungmin… He might not be able to get lunch with him sometimes. Jisung felt a pang in his chest at that thought, mealtimes with Seungmin while working his convenience store job always made him so happy, he got to see his best friend while working, and got to feed him for free. The only downside was that it was only thirty or so minutes depending on when Seungmin finally got there. Sometimes it was only a quick grab and go. Sometimes Seungmin gave him a kiss on the temple - absentmindedly, he assumed, because they were affectionate in a way but not like… Domestically affectionate. And sometimes customers were around and Jisung had to apologise for the PDA - he would later send Seungmin anime gifs of one character shaking another by the shoulders and yelling at him about kissing him. Seungmin would respond with a gif of crabs with knives and Jisung would usually drop it but still whine about it.

Don’t get him wrong, he definitely loved feeling Seungmin’s plush lips to his skin but he definitely didn’t need to go into cardiac arrest in public. The effect Seungmin had on him was definitely irritating but addicting - Jisung would never get enough of it.

“Jisung?” His head snapped back up. “Sh- yeah? S-sorry I’m not usually this spaced out.”

I totally am, that’s such a lie.

“You should head back to your desk and get settled in, hm?” His eyes widened a bit.

Yeah… Definitely should.

“Yeah - yes! Yes, sir.”

“Just… Mr. Tuan is fine.” He offered a smile. Jisung knew then that he would definitely never ever last this job. He was going to die if he kept seeing that smile.

He shakily stood from the chair, legs almost not willing to walk as he tried to exit the door.

As he opened it he caught a head of red hair in the open elevator doors, the figure was slouched against the back wall, arms crossed over their chest and… Jisung couldn’t make out their face but they looked pissed based on body language alone.

Jisung closed the office door behind him before taking his seat, and before he could catch another glance at the figure, the doors were closed, and the elevator was going down.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“Seung-ah, look,” Minho started, but ultimately got shrugged off. “It’s

one

day, hyung. Can’t it be the

only

exception that I get?” He looked between Mr. Bhang - ah, Chan, as Seungmin is allowed to call him behind closed doors- and his brother.

“Seungmin,” Chan sighed, his shoulders slumping slightly as he rested his hands on his desk. “I let you get away with a lot more that you realise. And not just because Minho is your brother, but because I genuinely like you, you’re a great employee and you work harder than most and pick up a lot more slack than you should and you deal with more shit than you should, honestly.” Chan glanced down at his lap for a minute before looking back up.

“What I’m saying, Seungmin is… I’m sorry, but I do need you to go home and change. It’s not a big deal, it wouldn’t be, if you hadn’t lashed out at Mr. Park.” Seungmin felt his shoulders tense. He never liked Mr. Park, always irritated by him and constantly harassed by him - though he never made a formal complaint, only texted Jisung in irritation about it.

“Seung-ah,” Minho tried again, placing his hand on Seungmin’s shoulder. Again, Seungmin brushed him off. “I really don’t get it. Just give me a disciplinary warning-”

“Absolutely not, Seungmin!” Minho was the first to object. “You can’t remove one of those from your records and yours are spotless. You’ll be judged based on that alone if you ever decide to join a different company and it will hinder your ability to ever hold another position at this level.” His voice was barely strict, a level of fondness in it still.

“Just…” He placed his hand on Seungmin’s shoulder again, this time, Seungmin didn’t push him off. “Go to my apartment. It’s closer. Your clothes from last time are still hanging in my room. Your shoes should be by the door too, okay?” Seungmin didn’t look at him.

He felt stupid. Embarrassed, almost. He would have been fine to get away with being out of dress code if he could have just kept his stupid mouth shut. He wished he could, but it seemed impossible at times.

“Earth to Seungmin,” Minho was waving a hand in his face, the corner of his lips upturned in a slight smile that Seungmin definitely noticed - one Minho would definitely deny if pointed out.

“I’m here, Hyung, and… Thank you.” He looked over to Chan. “And, thank you, too. You don’t have to treat me differently because you’re engaged to my brother.” Chan held up a hand. “And I don’t. I treat you differently because you earned my respect at a young age, Seungmin. I’ve respected you for the past few years, not only because of your dedication but because of your intelligence and patience. You’re one of my best employees, don’t let this get to you. I’ll be having a talk with Mr. Park too about his… Harassment towards you.”

Seungmin narrowed his eyes at him, before turning them onto Minho. “Jisung told you?” The older shrugged, “Sungie tells me everything,” he smiled, a questionable glint in his eyes.

“Everything.”

Seungmin rolled his eyes, clicking his tongue in faux annoyance. “He’s

my

best friend. He tells

me

everything. He only told you about Mr. Park because he knew you’d tell Chan hyung.”

Minho smiled, clearly pleased - likely in some sick manner Seungmin wanted to know nothing about. “I don’t want to know.” He quickly pulled Minho’s hand off his shoulder before hurrying out the door.

I definitely don’t ever want to know.

Seungmin settled in the elevator, slouching against the back wall of the compartment. He wasn’t

pissed

but definitely close to it. He was stressed, irritated, and wanted to put Mr. Park through a wall. Would he? No, unfortunately. Did he want to complain to Jisung about his betrayal? Absolutely. And he would. Most definitely. But later, after they’re both off work. He knows it’s Jisung’s first day at work and he knows if he texts him he’s going to forget he’s at work and keep texting and Seungmin doesn’t have the ability to ignore Jisung - and that inability has only gotten worse since that night they got drunk together.

They hadn’t established anything, they hadn’t done anything that followed that. Everything seemed to still be normal between them - it’s been two weeks since that day. But he’ll be damned if he starts thinking about it again, he definitely did not want to risk the chance of getting a hard-on in public - and from thinking about an intimate session between him and his

best friend

while drunk at that. Gosh, he doesn’t even think Minho knows -

“he tells me everything.”

Did Minho know? Seungmin would never be able to look him in the eyes again if he did.

Seungmin was about to step forward when he realised this was just another floor of the office and not the parking garage. He slumped against the wall again as a few other workers got off. He ignored them, mostly, but in the corner of his eye he could see a mop of black hair exit the floor supervisor’s office. Even from here the hair seemed unruly and exceptionally fluffy and Seungmin couldn’t help but be reminded of Jisung as the doors closed again.

Seungmin wouldn’t normally be so irritated, but it felt like his day really was cursed. Like some god had it out for him specifically. The doors opened onto the parking garage and he begrudgingly walked to his car, (not) ready to begin the short ride to his brother’s apartment.

He was the type of person who was okay with driving a lot, but he didn’t like driving more than he needed to - not because of traffic, or gas prices or this and that but simply because of the stupidity on the road and in the world. He did not want to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Not that he is scared to drive, mind you, he simply does not want to replace his car. He loves his car. Jisung picked it out with Minho as a surprise birthday gift (Seungmin thanked them both in secret, giving Minho both a thank you and glaring at him because ‘why something so expensive?’ and giving Jisung cuddles and what he expected would be read as platonic kisses for a couple hours). Jisung knew his tastes, his likes and dislikes, and even accounted for the size of the car compared to the length of Seungmin’s legs. He knows for a fact Jisung couldn’t reach the pedals with the seat back but somehow, he managed to pick the perfect car for Seungmin - not too cramped, not too spacious, but perfect - as if made specifically for him. And that’s what made it feel so special to him.

He huffed out a sigh as he backed out of his spot, before driving down the unwinding garage out into the public streets of Seoul. Much to his displeasure, traffic was brutal, and annoying. He supposes the cooler weather made up for it, as he didn’t have to deal with the sun trying to burn his skin off his bones.

What was supposed to be about five minutes of driving turned into twenty, a phone call from Minho and a slew of texts from Jisung - entirely about his new job and how he’s bumped into two hot guys already and there’s a pretty one sitting across from him. Does Seungmin feel jealous? Maybe a little (definitely a lot). Would he ever admit that? Not ever.

Seungmin pulled into a parking space, inevitably having to video call Minho so the desk person would give him access to Minho’s apartment (because his dumbass left before Minho could give him a keycard).

After that it was easy, finding his clothes and changing, he may or may not have checked himself in the mirror and then flushed immediately - these were the pants he was wearing

that

night, the night that he and Jisung… Did whatever it was he could call that.

He tucked the shirt in, and tried to ignore the images his brain supplied him with. It wasn’t that it was a bad thing - he just wasn’t sure he should be thinking about Jisung in that way - they’re not dating, they’re not even fucking, they’re

just

best friends.

And Seungmin was okay with that.

He adjusted the tie, carding his fingers through his hair again with a sigh. “I don’t even care,” he flicked off the bathroom light and headed back down to the door, slipping into his shoes and returning to work.

Much to his displeasure, he received a phone call from Mr. Park - one he ignored. One, because he was driving and two, because Mr. Park’s voice was the last thing he wanted to hear at the moment. The older man’s grating and irritating voice was not something Seungmin ever wanted to hear - not since the first time he had the (dis)pleasure of hearing it. It had been last year or so, when he had first gotten the job - Mr. Bhang had offered it to him while he was finishing up university, said the employee he’d be replacing wanted to switch to a different company, and had agreed to wait until Seungmin graduated. Chan had given him the position without any hesitation or second thoughts. And, when the rest of the board learned that Seungmin was a fresh-faced graduate with the CEO in his back pocket, things went down-hill pretty quickly.

It started with somewhat small things; being forced to get everyone’s coffee, setting up the meeting materials, taking notes, cleaning up the room when it was over. Then, they turned him into a delivery boy; delivering envelopes to other floors, stacks of papers, files, folders. It irked Seungmin to no end, but he tries to not let it show. Today was a slip-up. Would he apologise to Mr. Park? When hell freezes over, maybe. But probably not even then.

Definitely not even then.

The second the elevator doors open to the fourteenth floor, Mr. Park is standing there, red faced, brows drawn down and lips pressed into a thin line. His arms were folded over his chest, in what Seungmin assumes to be the start of a childish temper tantrum.

“Where the

hell

did you go?”

Ah, yes. Seungmin seems to be correct. The man in front of him is seething, all but stamping his foot on the ground, seemingly oblivious to Seungmin’s change of clothes.

Seungmin covered his scoff with a cough, stepping forward onto the floor and sending the elevator back down to the ground floor. He turned his attention to Mr. Park, a faux smile painting his lips.

“I was sent home to change. Mr. Bhang had given me quite a bit of a lecture on my indecency and disregard for the dress code.” He hadn’t received a lecture but he knew Mr. Park had, and Seungmin was just lying through his teeth to preserve himself . From what? He himself wasn’t sure but being this close to Mr. Park had his stomach tying in knots for the first time - not good knots, that much he was sure of.

“I see. Finally getting into well deserved trouble.”

As if you’re one to talk,

Seungmin thought. And he was right. Mr. Park was ten times worse than he was, always calling off for some sort of excuse, family is sick or his daughter has this going on, his wife has this going on - and it’s always on the most inconvenient of days. Convenient for Mr. Park to miss work, inconvenient for Seungmin to be forced to work twice as hard to pick up

his

slack.

Seungmin, however, didn’t dignify him with a response, simply walking past him and heading for his office. He felt he wouldn’t make it there before someone had opened their mouth. And he was right. Of course he was, when wasn’t he?

“What’s the matter, Kim Seungmin? Cat got your tongue?” Seungmin’s had was on the knob now, all he had to do was turn it, get in his office and close and lock the door. Something in him was telling him to turn around and tell Mr. Park to shove off and another part of him was telling him to just get in his office and call Mr. Bhang.

So he did, he ignored Mr. Park yet again, seeking the comfort and security of his office. He locked the door behind him, pulling his phone from the front pocket of his slacks, he dialled his brother’s ever familiar number.

He always picked up on the third ring, something about wanting to edge the person calling him, not wanting to answer too quickly but not too late either. But it seemed Minho had answered him all too quickly. Half way through the second ring, his brother’s voice crackled through the device.

“Where are you? Are you hurt?”

Seungmin blinked. Did… Minho know something?

“Seung-ah, answer me. Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”

“He who, hyung? Mr. Park?” There was a sound on the other end of the line, Seungmin wasn’t sure if it was a relieved sigh or an angry huff.

“Seungmin I tried texting you, why didn’t you answer me?”

“I didn’t get a text, hyung. Look, I’m fine but… Mr. Park did try to corner me when I arrived on my floor-”

“Channie is firing him for misconduct and harassment- and we’re sure he knows that now, and we’re also sure that he knew you had a part to play in that. We went around and asked other employees who knew him and they all said the same thing. Some harassment and harshness and … Seungmin, you should have told me when you got here.”

Seungmin’s heart felt heavy. His brother had been so worried about him and right now, even talking to him, he was near tears. Relieved tears, he hoped. He didn’t want his brother to cry, not really. Not unless they were happy tears - even then.

“Look, are you in your office?”

Seungmin hummed, listening as there was a shuffle from the other end then the sound of Minho undoubtedly giving Chan a kiss and then the opening and closing of a door.

“I’m coming to see you. I invited Jisungie out for an early lunch and you’re coming with me. My treat.”

“You always pay, hyung. Besides, it’s Sung’s first day, I don’t want him to get in trouble where he’s at.” There was a hum, this time from Minho.

“He hasn’t told you?”

Seungmin narrowed his eyes though he knew Minho couldn’t see. “Hyung, Jisung doesn’t have to tell me where he’s working. He’s got a job and I’m proud of him, that’s all we need.”

There was a kick at his door, the line disconnected and Minho’s voice sounded through the wood. “Yeah right, you’re both love sick losers. Let’s go or I’m leaving you here.”

Seungmin stood, praying his knees wouldn’t buckle from the roughly seven and a half minutes he spent sitting on the floor. He opened his door and received a flick in the forehead.

“Courtesy of Jisungie. Delivered by me. For the note on his breakfast delivery.” Seungmin couldn’t help the smile that tugged his lips. “He got his two favourite things and he’s complaining because I told them to put napkins in?”

“You called him messy, firstly. Secondly, he didn’t get napkins so he was a little sad.” If Seungmin were a little less sane than he is he would definitely make a complaint, instead he hummed in response, not really sure how to respond without sounding insane - even to his brother. Instead, he summoned the elevator, shifting from foot to foot while his brother continued.

“And here I thought you’d call the café and raise a little hell. I thought I raised you better than this, Kim Seungmin.” A little head shake and an unheated scoff followed his statement but he didn’t follow it up with anything else. Seungmin nodded, “if I were insane enough, I would. I’ll just make them feel bad tomorrow.”

The doors opened, Seungmin stepped in first, followed by the older who glanced at him as he leaned against the wall opposite of him. “You know,” he started, eyes shifting to the pad to press the ‘G’ button (garage, in case you’re lost on that). He waited until the doors closed, before letting out a sigh.

“You and Jisung haven’t properly talked since that night, have you,” it wasn’t a question, Seungmin knew it wasn’t. He didn’t answer. “He’s been texting me, you know,” Seungmin peeked up, cursing and wishing his hair was long enough to hide his face - he shouldn’t have let Jisung trim it.

“He misses you. He

wants

to talk to you - about that night or just to

you

I don’t know. He didn’t specify, he doesn’t usually, not about certain things that concern you.” Minho sighed again, shifting to his other foot. “Look, Jisung cares, Seung-ah. This isn’t something that would ruin your friendship, you’re both

so

worried about each other that you’re shutting each other out-”

“I’m not shutting him out. We still talk-”

“Barely! And that’s my point Seungmin! You aren’t talking to him as consistently as you used to. He would -” Minho huffs out a sigh. “He calls me Seungmin. He calls

me.

He never calls me, not really. He’ll drop by after asking, sure, but I haven’t seen him since before you guys…” Minho waved his hand awkwardly and Seungmin lifted his head, eyes wide.

His voice barely a whisper as he breathed, “you know?” Minho teased his bottom lip between his teeth. “Hyung… You know. He told you, didn’t he?” Seungmin stepped in front of him, arms crossed over his chest. “Tell me.” Minho sighed, pushing off the wall.

“Look… Yes. Okay? Jisung told me. But… I don’t think it was that he wanted to talk to

me

about it but just that he needed to tell someone. You know how he is, Seungmin. He can’t keep secrets, especially something like this I mean - what were you thinking?”

“

Me?

What was I thinking? How the fuck is it my fault?” Minho raised a brow but continued nonetheless. “You always make sure not to drink too much when you’re with him - regardless of in your apartment or at a bar. You know how can get if he’s had too many drinks.” Seungmin huffed out a sigh, stepping back from his brother. “I don’t know. It… Look, I knew I should have been more firm, told him no, I… I can’t tell him no.” He didn’t meet Minho’s eyes, locking them onto the elevator floor as he continued.

“I’ve never denied him anything, hyung. I… I knew it would ruin things but…” he waved his hand dismissively as he leaned back against the railing. A soft exhale came from his brother who tugged at his elbows and pulled him forward. “You didn’t ruin anything with him. Not yet, at least. You just need to talk to him, okay?” Seungmin looked up, then, there was no smile on his brother’s lips, no fond smirk. He was undoubtedly serious and Seungmin knew he’d have to talk to Jisung before Minho forced them to.

“I told Jisung I want you two to talk on your own terms. So please don’t talk about your issues during lunch. As much as I’d love for you guys to talk it out I-”

His phone rang in the space between them, cutting his words short. He released Seungmin as he pulled the phone from the pocket of his slacks, answering it.

“Mm, Jisungie… Oh, you can’t?... Mm no it’s okay. Maybe tomorrow? Or maybe once you’ve gotten settled in better? Yeah- no, yeah, it’s okay Sungie, promise… Mm, bye.”

Seungmin watched him pocket the device again, smiling. “It’s just you and me. Sungie doesn’t seem able to get away for an earlier lunch, he was thirty minutes late

and

came a little underdressed.”

Seungmin shook his head with a sigh, “leave it to him to not borrow my dress shoes like I told him to.”

An amused chuckle slipped past Minho's lips as he muttered, “yeah before or after you both came in your pants?”

“Hyung!”

Seungmin’s eyes were wide as he stared over at his brother who was all but doubled over in laughter, his hand covering his mouth with silent giggles falling from his lips. He was

so

sure that his face was flushed a deep red. Because

why

would Jisung admit

that

of all things?

Who

would admit

that

of all things?

“Just teasing. He mentioned he’d get a pair when he got his first check. Floor supervisor okay-ed his converse till then, so he’s covered.” Seungmin huffed as the doors opened. “Tell your fiancé to put in a faster elevator and maybe we wouldn’t have to wait almost ten minutes to get down here.”

“Yes yes, your highness. I’ll get right on that,” his brother replied, following him out with an eye roll.

Seungmin wasn’t sure if he wanted to wring Minho’s neck or Jisung’s, but he would likely wait until

after

he’s gotten food in him to make such an important decision.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

It had been about two weeks since that day, after lunch with Minho, Seungmin had texted Jisung asking to talk, to set up a place to meet. The older agreed and they met at a café , Seungmin paid for their breakfast and they talked. Albeit an awkward conversation that left them both flustered and stuttering, they agreed that it didn’t change anything. Jisung had attempted to apologise for getting handsy and Seungmin brushed him off saying that he allowed it to happen so it was really fine.

“Allowed it to happen?”

Jisung had echoed, his eyes lifting to meet Seungmin’s.

“I - I mean I didn’t try hard enough to stop you, Jisung… You know I’ve never denied you anything. I’ve always given you what you want.”

Jisung swallowed at those words, his eyes falling back to his empty plate.

“I - I know… I just.. I feel like I used you for … It’s stupid, just… I love you, and I don’t want to lose you. You’re my best friend, you know? You’re one of my only friends aside from Minho hyung and Chan hyung and that’s only by association.”

Seungmin reached his hand over, placing it over Jisung’s smaller one.

“I know.. But they both do like you Jisung. I mean… There’s a lot to like about you.”

A smile tugged at his lips as he asked,

“there is?”

Seungmin suppressed a chuckle as he nodded,

“yeah, I mean… You sing well, you can rap, you picked up on Minho’s dance routines pretty easily when we were kids. You… You taught me how to play the guitar and the piano- although you’re still way better than I am. If you hadn’t chosen this path I think you’d be touring the world right now.”

Seungmin’s lips twitched, a smile threatening to form.

“You’re so much more than that though, you’re one of the nicest people I’ve met, you’re funny - unintentionally and even if I think your jokes are lame. You’re… You’ve got a good heart and you’re passionate about things you love.”

Jisung giggled at that, covering his mouth with his free hand.

“If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were in love with me.”

Seungmin almost choked on air,

I am,

he wanted to say.

I am in love with you, Jisung.

Instead he said,

“in your dreams, Jisung-ah.”

But, we move forward, Seungmin is yet again, at work, Mr. Park long gone and his position filled by a younger, kinder man named ‘Park Jinyoung’. He and Seungmin got along well, he never made any demands and often prevented the others from taking advantage of their seniority and shoving mundane tasks onto Seungmin. Sometimes though, Jinyoung would request favours - nothing unreasonable, he found. Taking their meeting notes to Mr. Bhang if he found he didn't have the opening to, asking for water as well if Seungmin is refilling his glass. And he always says ‘please’ and ‘thank you’, he struck Seungmin as the type of person who wanted to lead by example, not the type that would demand how they wanted things done - clearly, the only times he’s ever seen Jinyoung (he and Seungmin had dropped most formalities per the elder’s request because it felt ‘weird’) angry or irritated were when the other board members were being rude to Seungmin.

It was a nice change, Seungmin liked Jinyoung a lot. They were casual with each other but not overly casual that Seungmin called him ‘hyung’ or anything like that - although it did slip once but Jinyoung said it was fine if he wanted to call him that.

“We’re only six years apart, you know?”

He had brought up then, Seungmin turned to him. a brow raised in question.

“If you wanted to call me ‘hyung’ I meant… I know your brother is Lee Minho-ssi. He kind of threatened me on my first day - but that’s not why I’m nice to you. Chan-ah had heavily complimented you when he asked me to fill this position, said you’re his favourite board member because you actually care about getting things done and that you’re intelligent and … All that.”

Jinyoung had given him a small smile,

“he’s right, too. You know that? You’re good at your job, I can see why he gave you this position quickly.”

Seungmin let him keep talking, trying to will the flush creeping up his neck back down.

“You’re a good kid.”

That was his parting statement as he patted Seungmin’s head before turning on his heel and walking away.

Now, here he was, setting up a meeting room with Jinyoung’s aid, doing his best to ignore every glance the elder sends his way. Eventually, a sigh fell from his lips as he placed a hand on Seungmin’s forearm.

“Have I upset you somehow? If I have, tell me, don’t just shut me out.” Seungmin shook his head immediately, “it.. It’s more that I kind of get um… A bit flustered with compliments and…” He rolled the corner of the page between his thumb and pointer finger, feeling the familiar heat rising up his neck. He was more embarrassed, having to explain his behaviour to him.

“I understand. I get like that too, compliments usually throw me off. You know Mark Tuan, right? Second floor supervisor?” Seungmin nodded,

the guy whose office you barge into every afternoon for lunchtime.

“Him and I have known each other for the past couple years and he always tries to throw me off by complimenting me in some way - along with another one of our friends… They all kind of do it but those two are the worst.” He chuckled, and Seungmin found himself smiling - a small smile but a smile nonetheless.

“Oh, Seungmin. By the way, after the meeting… You wouldn’t mind delivering the files to Mr. Bhang, would you? I was almost scarred the other day and I really don’t want to chance my luck again.” Seungmin narrowed his eyes before rolling them, “wouldn’t be the first time I’ve seen them in compromising positions.”

Jinyoung raised a brow, but Seungmin waved him off. “Nothing… I used to live with Minho hyung while I was still in university and I’ve… I’ve seen things and heard things when they forgot I was home. It was… Awful. Usually I found myself camping out in a friend’s dorm most nights.” He dramatically shudders. “Whatever though, at most I’ll just throw the file on his desk and walk out.”

A giggle slipped from the elder’s lip as he offered a pat to Seungmin’s arm, “well I hope they’re not doing anything like that.”

Seungmin mostly drowned them out as they discussed who was presenting in what order and so on and so forth. Seungmin went first, to get it out of the way as quickly as he could. He mostly avoided abrupt questions, as they’re to be held until the presentations are over, offering a deadpan look and sometimes a glare towards the unwelcome interruption.

As the meeting ended, USBs were handed over along with meeting notes and files for the week, Seungmin sighed. He dreaded going to Chan’s office, he could feel it in his bones that they were fucking - not that he

wanted

to think about it, he just didn’t want to witness it. He didn’t have to hear it outside the office door, thank god because it’s soundproof but at least having the warning would be fine enough for Seungmin to -

Oh. That’s not what he expected.

His grip on the knob loosened a bit as he blinked, almost in disbelief. Somehow

this

is worse than what he’s used to.

His brother balls deep in Chan was most definitely

not

on his bingo card this year.

“I um… I’m going-” he tossed the files and USBs on Minho’s desk chair, shoving down the urge to gouge out his eyes before promptly closing the door behind him.

I want to bleach my eyes.

With a sigh, he pressed the ‘2’ button, Jinyoung had business on the second floor often- bothering Mark Tuan was undoubtedly on his schedule for the day. He fished his phone from his pocket,

13:08,

lunch break time it was. But Seungmin wasn’t sure he wanted to suffer alone, so he dialled Jisung’s number to traumatise him as well.

“Seung-ah! -”

“Yeah hi, I just walked in on Chan hyung and Minho hyung having sex again.” Jisung burst into laughter. “No no no, you don’t get it. It was different. They switched.” Jisung choked.

“What?! I thought Minho hyung was strictly into bottoming?”

Seungmin shrugged though he couldn’t see it, “I don’t know, I don’t want to know and I don’t want to know why

you

know my brother’s bedroom preferences.”

The elevator doors opened and Seungmin heard Jisung’s loud laughter sound yet again, but twice. Through the phone and then… Through the wall?

“Jisung?” He called, twisting the knob to the break room.

“Ah? Yeah? What’s…

up?” Jisung was looking up at him with wide eyes, his jaw falling open.

“You didn’t tell me you were working here!” Jisung pointed a finger at himself, “me? I didn’t even know

you

worked here!” Seungmin scoffed, pocketing his phone. “I was going to take you to lunch but it seems that you have yours.” Jisung hummed, “Hyung bought it for me.”

“Minho hyung knew you were working here?” Jisung shook his head, “not exactly. I told him the company and he just smiled. I guess he wasn’t going to tell me that you worked here - to be fair I hadn’t known this was Chan hyung’s company until yesterday when I saw him in the garage with Minho hyung… And, you never really told my you worked here when you got the job-”

“No no, I did. I said Bhang Industries. You were probably too drunk to remember,” Seungmin waved a dismissive hand. Jisung smacked it. “That’s rude! You know better than to tell me things when I’m intoxicated.” He couldn’t help the smile that curved his lips though, and Seungmin couldn’t help but smile back. “I can’t even tell you anything when you’re sober. There’s a ninety percent chance you just won’t remember.”

“Rude!”

A chuckle slipped from Seungmin’s lips as he rolled his eyes, “it’s just the truth. You have the memory capacity of a goldfish.”

The corner of his lips turned up as Jisung huffed in protest. “I do

not

have the memory capacity of a-” he paused. “A goldfish.” Seungmin supplied, not missing the scowl that formed on Jisung’s face. “Why must you always bully me?” he pouted, Seungmin just shook his head, reaching across the table and ruffling Jisung’s hair.

“I envy that you don’t get in trouble for that rat's nest.” The older let out an exaggerated gasp, “how dare you! It is

not

a rat’s nest!” He smacked Seungmin’s hand away again, pouting to himself as he pushed his hair back, trying to neaten it.

“It was fine until

you

messed with it!” Seungmin couldn’t help the smile that graced his lips, resting his chin on his open palm, elbow digging into the table.

It was silent for a few moments, comfortably so. Seungmin dragged his eyes down Jisung’s face; his big, brown eyes that never failed to captivate him, his pink, pouty lips that never failed to tempt him. They trailed further, down the length of his neck-

“Seungmin? Are you checking me out?” There was a teasing lilt in his voice but Seungmin pretended he hadn’t heard him. Jisung let out a hum, standing from his chair and lifting his chin to lock their eyes.

Jisung’s eyes were pretty - they were always pretty, a weapon all on their own. One look had Seungmin feeling weak, unable to deny him anything and giving into whatever he wanted.

“Pretty,” Jisung’s eyes widened, and in turn, so did Seungmin’s. At his own admission, he felt a familiar heat rise up his neck - this time, unable to tell if it were embarrassment or -

“I’m… Pretty?” Jisung asked, the teasing tone replaced by something softer, gentler, warm. Seungmin swallowed nervously.

Nerves. It was nerves. When

didn’t

Jisung make Seungmin nervous?

Seungmin pulled away from Jisung as the break room door opened, trying to force down the blush that spread to his cheeks.

“Oh! Seungmin? Is that you?”

“Hello, Mark,” he mumbled, not daring to turn around. He could see Jisung looking between the two of them, confusion plainly written across his features.

The chair behind him dragged across the floor, and Seungmin could see the older man sit in the seat - what threw him off was the second body that followed. He lifted his head and locked eyes with Jinyoung who looked away, a pink hue dancing across his cheeks.

“So

this

is what you meant when you said you’ve known each other for the past couple years.” Jinyoung opted to bury his face in Mark’s neck. “

Only

the past

couple

years baby? That’s a little rude. We’ve known each other for a lot longer than just a couple years.” A disgruntled noise came from the man in his lap, but the fond smile on Mark’s face remained.

“What about you two- Jisung stop looking at me like that,” Jisung huffed, scooting down in his chair and folding his arms over his chest. Seungmin rolled his eyes at his behaviour but turned to Mark. “What about us?” Mark looked back to Jisung before focusing on Seungmin. “How long have you two known each other?”

“Oh,” Seungmin awkwardly cleared his throat. “Um.. Six years. Seven when March rolls around.” He snuck a glance at Jisung who was fidgeting with his chopsticks, his bottom lip caught between his teeth.

“That’s a long time… Jisungie,” he paused, the addressed looked up, his eyes meeting Seungmin’s first before drifting to Mark’s face. “Yes?”

“Was this the friend you mentioned? On your first day?” Jisung nodded, “mm… Him or - or,” he could see Seungmin glaring at him in his peripheral, but the words escaped him before he could stop them. “Minho hyung.”

A sigh passed Seungmin’s lips as he further narrowed his eyes at his friend. However, Mark’s brows shot up and Jinyoung lifted his head up.

“Minho-ssi? How do

you

know him?” Mark’s curiosity unfortunately knew no bounds. Seungmin’s chair screeched across the floor as he pushed away from the table, rounding the table to grab Jisung’s wrist as he drags him out of the room.

“Seung-ah! Yah! Kim Seungmin!” Seungmin ignored all of his protests and dragged him down the corridor to the elevator and shoved him in it.

Floor fourteen.

Once the elevator doors closed he turned to Jisung and hissed, “what the hell was that about?” Jisung’s eyes widened momentarily before shooting back, “me? What about you? You dragged me out of there and now you’re - what? Demanding answers for questions you haven’t properly asked and I’m supposed to know what you’re on about?”

Seungmin huffed through his nose, his eyes falling to his shoes before flickering back up to meet Jisung’s. “Look,” he took a step closer, silently relieved when Jisung didn’t step away. He wrapped his hands around Jisung’s forearms, stroking his clothed skin with his thumb.

“No one but Chan and Jinyoung know Minho hyung and I are brothers.” Jisung tilted his head, lips parted in a question he never got to voice. “Jinyoung was with Mark,” he leaned down, pressing his forehead onto Jisung’s shoulder. “Like I was going to say… It was my choice. I didn’t want anyone thinking I only got this job because Chan hyung and Minho hyung are engaged. Because, even though it isn’t true, people would find a way to spread that rumour and it would ruin all of our reputations.” He pulled away, meeting Jisung’s eyes. “I’m… I’m sorry I reacted the way I did, I just-” Jisung pressed a finger to his lips, hushing him gently. “I know… I know I just - I didn’t know what you were staring at me like that for, I didn’t know it was kept hidden.” He brought up his other hand, cradling Seungmin’s face in his hands.

“I- I should’ve told you.. I- I would’ve if I thought we’d end up having company.” Seungmin’s eyes scanned over Jisung’s face, over and over as if he had never seen him before. Every inch of Jisung’s face gave him butterflies; a hot, fluttery feeling in his stomach.

Seungmin didn’t register Jisung leaning in, he didn’t register their lips slotting together, he didn’t register the contentented sigh that he released into Jisung’s mouth, forgetting before he had asked Jisung not to kiss him there.

He was barely there, mind hazy as Jisung’s hands wandered, sliding down his ribcage to grip his waist; as the older reversed their positions so that Seungmin was the one against the wall, a soft moan escaping his lips as the cold bled through his shirt. Jisung took the opportunity, slipping his tongue into Seungmin’s mouth, swallowing all the sounds that followed. Seungmin was almost so lost, forgetting where they were, until a soft chiming noise brought him back. Seungmin pushed at his shoulders gently, then a little harsher.

“W-what?” His voice was barely audible, his cheeks were flushed and lips kissed swollen and slick with spit. “Floor fourteen,” he breathed, pointing up, Jisung followed it, reading the displayed floor above the door.

Twelve.

Jisung narrowed his eyes, meeting Seungmin’s again.

“Really?” He huffed, pulling Seungmin closer by the waist. “I could still be kissing you right now.” The younger nodded, but shook his head immediately. “I don’t want to get caught at work.”

“So your office is off limits?” He leaned into Seungmin’s neck, licking gently, lips grazing against the skin. “Han Jisung.” He had intended to sound firm, but it came out a bit breathy and he could feel Jisung’s smirk against his lips.

Seungmin leaned his head back against the wall, eyes shifting down to meet Jisung’s, “we’re… We’re not just best friend’s anymore, are we?” Jisung teased his bottom lip between his teeth before shaking his head. “I- I don’t think so-?”

The elevator doors opened with a ding, but Seungmin was quick to close them, pressing the ‘G’ button. “Where are we -?”

Seungmin cupped his face, pulling him forward, allowing their lips to crash in a messy kiss. Seungmin’s hands eventually began to drift, one holding the back of Jisung’s head while the other slid down his body. Jisung who had frozen for a moment, initially, was now clutching his shirt, the fabric balled up in his fists, pulling him impossibly closer.

Much to both their displeasure, Seungmin pulled away first, just barely. Their lips still touching he whispered,

“Home.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Cockblockers.

Every damn one of them. Right as he and Seungmin got into the parking garage, Seungmin’s phone rang. Then his. And they both had to go up to their respective floors, much to their displeasure.

They stood apart in the elevator, hands in the pockets of their slacks. Seungmin leaned against the elevator wall and Jisung rested against the other. They both had wanted more, consciously, no alcohol fogging their brains - honestly it scared Jisung, he

wanted

his

best friend.

Seungmin couldn’t see him like that too, could he? More than a best friend - something more than what they already are. Jisung couldn’t be too sure, but as he stole glances to the younger boy he was slightly convinced it was one sided.

Seungmin’s shoulder dug into the wall, his head hung and his eyes closed. The faint blush on his cheeks slowly receding. Seungmin suggested going to his floor first so they both had time to unwind and Jisung agreed. But he wasn’t sure a five minute elevator ride would do the trick.

He closed his eyes too, taking deep breaths to himself. He needed to relax, he’d rather die before Hyunjin points out the very obvious tent in his pants. Has he mentioned Hyunjin? He’s a little older than Jisung, another worker on his floor, he was one of the first who approached Jisung and they… didn’t necessarily get along that great. Hyunjin would point out everything he’s doing wrong, tease him for this and that, and Jisung would bite back, tell him to

“fuck off”

and to

“stop being a bitch”

, but they get along a lot better now, after being locked in a meeting room together because Mr. Tuan was sick of hearing them argue outside his office.

They don’t get along great, but they’re a lot better now, still figuring each other out, how each other thinks, how to properly act around one another without pissing each other off, things like that. But, so far, Hyunjin is a good … Friend? Can he call Hyunjin a friend? He thinks he’d have to ask but -

“Hey,” Seungmin’s voice pulled him from his thoughts, the younger boy no longer across from him but instead standing right in front of him. “Hey,” Jisung replied after a moment, his eyes already lost in Seungmin’s. The younger offered an awkward smile, pulling back a bit. “My floor,” he said, gesturing towards the digital screen above the elevator.

“Oh,” He looked up,

thirteen, fourteen.

“I see,” his eyes flicked back up to Seungmin’s. “I’ll… I’ll see you later, right?” Seungmin’s smile faltered momentarily before he said, “there um… There’s a dinner party, if you want to attend.” His hand reached out to hit the ‘open door’ button.

“You can… Be my plus one?”

It was a question, yes. Barely steady, a tinge of what Jisung wanted to call hope. He offered a smile, walking Seungmin out of the elevator. Jisung stood in the threshold, and Seungmin stood in the corridor, oblivious of the on-lookers. The older leaned forward, pressing their lips together briefly.

“Pick me up?” Seungmin nodded, brushing their lips together again. “I’ll be by yours at eight.” Jisung smiled against his lips, “I’ll see you then, puppy.” At the words, Jisung heard his own muffled voice in his head,

“such a good puppy,”

when had he said that? Was it to Seungmin? Was it

that

night? He could barely remember now, he was tipsy, definitely but he thinks he was more drunk on the younger than the alcohol.

“Seungmin?” The younger hummed, slowly meeting his eyes. “I’ll see you tonight?” He offered a smile, repeating himself to Seungmin was not something he had done often but he wasn’t sure if the younger had even responded. “Oh! Uh, y-yeah tonight. I’ll see you tonight.”

Seungmin barely spared him a second glance before pecking his lips again and turning on his heel. The elevator doors closed, just as Seungmin opened the door to his office.

He sighed, leaning his shoulder into the wall.

Gosh, what is wrong with me?

He thought. The answer was nothing - of course, but Jisung is overthinking - as he always does. It wasn’t that there

was

something wrong with him, it was that in his head there

had

to be something wrong with him. He didn’t even know why - just it was all

his

fault somehow. Did that night change their friendship and Seungmin just lied that it hadn’t to avoid making things more awkward between them? Did Seungmin take some of the blame so that Jisung wouldn’t feel so guilty? Was Seungmin just

indulging

his desires because-

“Are you just going to stand there or are you going to get out?”

Jisung’s head snapped up at the voice, meeting the man’s eyes. “Oh my god! Jisungie, hi! I’m sorry I thought you were someone else!”

It was Hyunjin, of course it was Hyunjin, but Jisung couldn’t complain. “Going down still?” He asked, Jisung nodded. “We work on the same floor Hyune-ah.”

“Right, right… You know, Mr. Tuan is a little irritated that you were trying to skip out on work…” He trailed, his eyes drifting up Jisung’s body, from his converse to his messy head of hair. Jisung didn’t dare meet his eyes again, afraid that he might notice his red bitten and kiss-swollen lips.

“He might let it go, he might give you a warning… It depends on your excuse.” Jisung shrugged. “I don’t really have one. My… Friend dragged me off for a talk and w-we lost track of time, is all.” He could feel the burning intensity of Hyunjin’s gaze but the older didn’t say anything - that totally didn’t stir up the dormant nerves in Jisung’s stomach. His heart rate wasn’t steadily (read: rapidly) increasing the longer Hyunjin’s eyes remained on him, the blood definitely wasn’t rushing to his head- totally, definitely not.

“Okay.” He said finally, “just tell Mr. Tuan. I’m sure you guys were in the break room together. It was Kim Seungmin and that guy is -”

“My best friend.” His eyes drifted over to Hyunjin, his brows were raised and his lips parted in a small ‘o’.

“Really?” He asked, “so he dragged you out with that kind of urgency… why?” Jisung huffed a sigh and rolled his eyes. “You know, you should really be an interrogator at this point instead of working this office job.” He simply smiled, “I’m too pretty to work in that kind of field. Who would be intimidated by little ol’ me?”

“Not intimidated. Annoyed.” The older scoffed, but it went unheard as the doors opened, accompanied by a soft chime and Jisung walked out, making his way to Mr. Tuan’s office, ready for the inevitable scolding - is that even the right word? Would he be scolded? Would he be yelled at? Would Mr. Tuan call him irresponsible?

His hand was barely on the knob when the door opened. The man from earlier - Jinyoung, as Seungmin addressed him, was standing in front of him. The collar of his shirt messy and slightly unbuttoned- not even tucked in, his jacket haphazardly thrown over a shoulder, his cheeks were blooming with pink hues and his eyes seemed glassy.

“Um… ‘cuse me..” He murmured, voice barely reaching Jisung’s ears as the man passed by him. Jisung shuffled into Mr. Tuan’s office, eyes locked onto the floor as dread filled every inch of his body.

“Sit,” he gestured to the chair in front of him, watching Jisung settle onto the leather seat. “I … Understand that Seungmin-ah is a close friend of yours, but you can’t just run off with him.”

“I- I wasn’t-” Jisung cut himself off when Mr. Tuan held up a hand. “I understand that Seungmin pulled you out, but when you didn’t come back you should have called saying you’d be late coming back up.” Jisung took his bottom lip between his teeth as Mr. Tuan continued, “I’m not angry, or upset. I’m just… Not sure how I should read you sometimes, Jisung,” he lifted his head, eyes flittering over the older man. His head propped on an open palm, elbow resting on the table. “You’re a good kid, you’ve been working hard… I just hope Seungmin isn’t… Distracting you-”

“No! He- he’s not! We… He told me that…” He trailed, not missing the way Mr. Tuan’s brow raised, as if silently prompting him to continue.

“No one but Chan and Jinyoung know Minho hyung and I are brothers.”

He dropped his eyes to his lap, contemplating whether or not to bend the truth or be totally honest.

“Jisung?” He prompted, leaning forward. Jisung slunk down in the chair, pressing the soles of his feet into the desk. “Mr. Tuan… I don’t think it’s really something I should talk about. It would upset Minho hyung and Seungmin, and I don’t like dealing with either of them sulking.”

“I understand, I’m not going to push it if it’s that personal to them. But… You and Seungmin are

just

friends?” Jisung tried his best to not narrow his eyes at the older man - and failed miserably based on the way Mr. Tuan raised a brow.

“We’re just friends. Why?” Mr. Tuan held up his hands in defence before folding them on his desk. “He looks at you the way I look at Jinyoung. Love, Jisung. A lot of it, unfiltered love. And, I know that this is likely crossing a possible line between personal and professional, but he sees you as more than a friend-”

Jisung started to wave him off, his voice cutting through his words. “Seungmin and I are

just

friends.

Best friends.

That’s it.” Jisung stood up. “Nothing more. Nothing less.” Before Mr. Tuan could say another word, Jisung was out of his office, the door clicking shut behind him softly.

He took a deep breath, leaning his head back against the door. With a sigh he reopened the door and softly asked, “can I go home early?” Mr. Tuan pressed his lips together before nodding, “yeah, it’s fine. Send me my schedule before you leave?” Jisung hummed, “I scheduled it to be sent around 2:30,” he cleared his throat. “I made sure to do that before lunch.”

“Alright. I’ll see you tomorrow then.” Jisung nods, though it isn’t a question before closing the door yet again. Another sigh slipping past his lips.

It’s going to be a long night, and he had to see Seungmin at the dinner party. Why did he agree? He doesn’t even know, but he does know that he definitely is not getting out of going.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

When had ‘ I love you, you’re my best friend’ become ‘I love you, I wanna be yours’? Seungmin wasn’t sure, maybe it was the first day they met, maybe it the first ‘date’ they went on - when Jisung insisted on taking him to his favourite café, Minho had gone with them that day, paid for their drinks, and sat across the café but still kept an eye on them.

Or maybe when they both got scolded and almost got detention together, but Minho talked their teacher out of it and got them stuck with classroom cleanup duty for two weeks. Seungmin was mad at him for those two weeks, even though he knew Minho did it so that their records would remain clean, one detention on their record and they would likely get branded. He was upset about the loss of study time but he got to spend an extra hour or so with Jisung so he couldn’t really complain.

Or maybe when Jisung and him were in university working the same deadend restaurant job, Jisung as a host and Seungmin as a waiter, both equally hating the job the pay and the hours, they complained about the job to each other, comparing their awful experiences with the ‘guests’. Seungmin won those arguments, usually ending his shifts drenched in whatever drinks got thrown on him during his shifts; Jisung got screamed at by a lot of the high school boys who were trying to impress their equally obnoxious girlfriends.

Seungmin always comforted him on their way back to the dorm, holding his hand tightly, swinging their arms gently. Sometimes buying him a cheesecake slice from a 24 hour café or some candy from a convenience store - anything that would brighten Jisung up even just a little.

The question “when had ‘I love you, you’re my best friend’ become ‘I love you, I wanna be yours’?” always stumped him, he can’t quite pinpoint the exact moment his heart started to want Jisung in a way he couldn’t have him, but he would wager it’s been almost their entire friendship.

A sigh passed his lips as he swiveled the chair gently, he had been too into his own head since Jisung kissed him out in the open. He was sure the entire floor had seen, but he didn’t entertain any questions nor did he pause for any as he practically booked it to his office to lock himself inside.

When had his heart wanted Jisung in a way he couldn’t have? He keeps thinking about it, like the harder he thinks the more easy it would be for his brain to peel back the layers of his memories and wait for his heart to react - that slow, thumping becoming a fast, rapid pulse when he first started to get nervous whenever Jisung was close or that feeling where his heart stops in his chest only to achingly restart at a faster pace.

And he thinks he’ll never find it. He thinks there will never be just

one

moment, he thinks the second he fell in love with Jisung he just kept falling - maybe he was always in love, from the first millisecond but those feelings only became clear when he actually got to know Jisung for who he was, who he

is

, what he likes, what he does in his free time, his favourite anime, his favourite book, his favourite movie, hell even his favourite colour. Everything about Jisung sucked him into this endless rabbit hole of

Jisung

where everything was just about him; him and everything about him, everything he likes, dislikes, loves, his laugh, his smile - pure sunshine, and his eyes. Oh god, his eyes, Seungmin doesn’t think he’ll ever get over how sparkly and expressive they are, how wide they can get and how pretty they are.

Seungmin found himself lost in the older boy all over again, so lost that he didn’t hear the insistent knocking at his door, the calling of “Mr. Kim?... Mr. Kim, are you sleeping? Can you hear me?” The voice behind the door was anything but soft; a smooth, deep voice, albeit a little irritated but trying to call him out of his reverie. The knocking got louder, harder, and Seungmin’s eyes snapped up, meeting the wooden door across him.

He sighed, standing from his chair grabbing the desk when his knees buckled - he had been sitting way too long - before opening the door. His brow raised as his eyes glossed over the freckled, blond haired boy in front of him.

“Can… I help you?” he asked, earning a smile from the blond. “My name is Lee Yongbok, or Felix. And… It's my first day working on this floor. Minho hyung told me to introduce myself to you? He said you’re a board member but didn’t want to stop -”

“You know him?” He narrowed his eyes,

why did he call him so familiarly?

Felix gave an awkward chuckle, “he did say you likely wouldn’t remember me… Um! I was on Minho hyung’s dance team in high school. I know it’s been a while so I don’t blame you for forgetting. We also weren’t that close and-”

“You’ve gotten a little taller, right?” Felix glared at him, “I’m serious! I think you’ve gotten taller!” He had a slight grin on his face as he dragged his hand from his forehead out and it was raised over Felix’s, he did it a few times, “I swear you weren’t this tall before!” Felix smacked his hand, “

you

got taller!” He rolled his eyes, crossing his arms, eyes still narrowed at Seungmin.

“Besides, I’m your hyung, where’s the respect?” Seungmin raised a brow. “

You’re

older than me? Since when?” Felix tsked, “since I was born seven days before you.”

“Wow, seven days. Impressive.” Felix rolled his eyes. “Whatever, here.” He thrust an envelope into Seungmin’s hand. “It’s from Minho hyung. I don’t want to know what it’s about. He threatened to airfry me if I opened it.” Seungmin stifled a laugh, flipping the envelope over, almost immediately rolling his eyes as he caught sight of his brother’s awful handwriting.

Seungmin, if you open this I’ll bury you next to Chan in an unmarked grave. It’s for Jisungie.

“Thank you, Felix,” short, simple, not so sweet but not said with malice. That’s a win in his book. Felix offered him a bright smile and Seungmin couldn’t stop himself from smiling back. Felix offered a warm feeling, one similar to the kind of feeling Jisung gave off when they had first met. Warm, sunshine-y.

“Oh, Seungmin-ah,” the younger hummed in response, his eyes flickering to Felix’s. “Where is Jisung? Minho said he worked here?” Seungmin narrowed his eyes, “he

knew

and he didn’t tell me?” Felix’s lips parted, “h… How did

you

not know? You’re his boyfriend, aren’t you?” Seungmin’s eyes popped out, “wh-what? Boyfriend? He - we… we’re not-” he cleared his throat. “Jisung and I aren’t together.”

The older’s brows drew together, his eyes narrowing in suspicion. “I don’t believe you. You guys were always on each other. Cuddling, holding hands, Jisung would literally kiss you on the cheek all the time! He touched your butt that one time too-”

“That’s enough,” he coughed into his sleeve, “I have to leave to get ready for the dinner party tonight. See you if you’re there and if you’re not then I’ll see you tomorrow.” He closed the door without waiting for a reply, and when it clicked shut he let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

He wasn’t sure if he was going to survive the night. He wasn’t sure if inviting Jisung along was the right course of action, if he should just not pick Jisung up - lie and say that Minho had dragged him there after work. He wondered if Jisung had already told Minho, he wondered if Jisung would be angry if he blew him off.

He closed his eyes again, a sigh slipping his lips as his head pressed into the faux leather. Would Jisung be angry?

…

Jisung would not be angry, in fact he’d probably be delighted. When he got home he had done almost everything to anxious pacing to a slew of unintelligible thoughts to curling up in bed and crying.

Why exactly had he started spiraling? When had he started? He wasn’t too sure, maybe when Seungmin had allowed Jisung to kiss him, when Seungmin said he was going to take Jisung home or maybe Mr. Tuan had breathed the idea of Seungmin liking him into the air, maybe when he got into the elevator or into his car.

He couldn’t exactly pinpoint it, but he thinks maybe it was when he kissed Seungmin in the elevator, the feeling of his hands sliding down Seungmin’s body, the dip in his hips, the feeling of Seungmin’s fingers in his hair and his hand on his ribs burning into his skin even through the fabric of his shirt.

He thinks maybe that was when his mind started getting a little hazy, thought after thought- of course in that moment those thoughts mostly consisted of curse words and

“oh my god”’s

and “i

s this really happening”’s.

Looking back with a clearer head, he can’t believe he would’ve been willing to throw away their six years of friendship because Seungmin wanted to take him home. To

his

apartment, where they had that night together almost a month ago now. He wasn’t sure if it was before christmas or if it had been after christmas - maybe after, but he was sure he remembered most of the details of that night. He kept making moves on Seungmin the entire night, spurred on by the liquid courage running through his veins.

He remembered crawling into Seungmin’s lap and he

knows

they did things, he

knows

he touched Seungmin and that he was touched too - but he doesn’t remember what they did, he doesn’t know how Seungmin felt that night, they were both hazy - not just the alcohol, Jisung felt so drunk on Seungmin - the warmth of his skin, his hands, even his breath was hot against his neck. He couldn’t recall how Seungmin sounded under him, he was drunk when they started, but he knows Seungmin… Seungmin just did what he always did - let Jisung do whatever he wanted.

With a sigh, he closed his eyes.

They had agreed to a café - one of Jisung’s favourites. Seungmin bought him cheesecake and an americano, like he always did, before buying himself a tea and a muffin. They had met on a day they both had off, around ten in the morning. Seungmin had been there already, dressed in a blue sweater and a pair of jeans - one Jisung remembered picking out for him, the material had accented his waist and hugged his thighs perfectly that Jisung was not above begging him to get it.

Seungmin was simply waiting, leaning against a wall near the order counter, talking to the barista behind the counter - Jisung knew his face better than his name, Iyen? Ayen? Something. Jisung approached, hesitantly, but not too hesitant to seem weird to on-lookers.

Seungmin turned to him before he even said a word, a subtle smile graced his lips as his eyes dropped down Jisung’s body. He had tried to remain calm, Seungmin was just checking him out, not a big deal - Seungmin was checking him out? What?

“Nothing?” Seungmin chuckled, “I didn’t say anything.” Jisung’s heart skipped a beat as his laugh, like it always did. “Did I…” He rubbed the nape of his neck, an embarrassed flush creeping up his cheeks. “Did I say that out loud?”

Seungmin offered a chuckle in response, followed by a nod, “yeah, you did. But it’s okay. You sometimes speak before you think and sometimes those thoughts come out of your mouth.”

Jisung rolled his eyes but drew himself back to Seungmin, who had already approached the cashier and was paying for their order. Jisung felt a little bad sometimes, when he and Seungmin went out and Seungmin was always paying - they could go anywhere together and if Minho was tagging along he would buy something Jisung liked without question, sometimes Seungmin was stingy and would say ‘would you even wear it?’ and sometimes Jisung thinks he only thought it would look nice on Seungmin - in multiple cases, a baseball hat, a t-shirt that Jisung is ninety percent sure he owns a similar one (which would have basically been Seungmin wearing his clothes)—

“You coming?” He lifted his head, his eyes meeting Seungmin’s too quickly. The younger was bent at the waist, their noses almost touching and Jisung swears he could cry. He won’t, he has more dignity than that. (I hope)

He rolled his eyes, “I’m coming, move.” He slunk past the younger boy, all but running to their designated table. This was the best spot in the café, in his opinion, at least. It was directly in the center, right in the middle, perfectly spaced between the two ends of the wall — well, window, technically. The window was nice, it gave a few of the hustling and bustling streets, a clear view of the kittens and puppies in the pet store across the street, sometimes interesting things happen — like someone trips and falls and he gets to watch Seungmin hold in a laugh ‘because it’s rude’ (apparently) to laugh at someone when they’re in pain.

“So,“ Seungmin started, fingers clasped around his cup, “let’s eat first…
Then we’ll talk.”

He wordlessly agreed, pacing himself a little slower, hoping to delay their conversation as much as possible without being too obvious. Don’t misunderstand, he

does

want to talk, he’s just not sure what to say. He wasn’t sure if he should straight up apologise for the entire night or if-

“Jisungie?” Seungmin’s voice was close, his hand waving across his face. He blinked, his vision focusing back onto Seungmin, “you okay?” Jisung nodded, a little dumbly as his eyes flittered away from Seungmin’s face.

“Yeah, I’m fine, um…” He moved his hands to fiddle with his cup, he could feel the condensation leaking through his fingers. He resisted the urge to wipe them on his jeans. Jisung looked back at Seungmin, now slouched slightly in his seat, eyes still on him.

“We can talk when you’re ready Jisungie.” He said, bringing his cup to his lips, “there’s no rush, nowhere for us to be.” Jisung looked away, back to his cheesecake - a few bites left and then he’d have to start talking soon.

What does he say though? He knew that if he started talking the words would come out wrong, and he knew that if he took too long to think, he’d get angry with himself and Seungmin would just sit there patiently, like he always did. He would wait and wait and wait, without any complaint.

After a few moments, the remnants of his cheesecake and iced americano swallowed, his hands fumbling together in his lap, he looked back at Seungmin. He met his eyes, nervously, more nervous now that he saw Seungmin was relaxed - almost entirely unbothered. He was quiet, the words circling around in his brain, almost itching to come out.

“I’m… I’m really sorry for… Drinking so much and - and for doing all of that.” A soft sigh slipped past Seungmin’s lips, Jisung would have missed it if he weren’t paying so much attention to him. His eyes dropped to his hands, now picking at the fabric of his jeans.

With a gentle shake of his head he said, “it’s okay, for the most part… I allowed it to happen.” Jisung blinked, had he heard that right?

“Allowed it to happen?” He echoed, lifting his eyes to meet Seungmin’s. He looked a bit wide-eyed, small waves of pink dusted across his cheeks. “I-I mean I didn’t try hard enough to stop you, Jisung… You know I’ve never denied you anything. I’ve always given you what you want.”

Jisung swallowed thickly, eyes dropping Seungmin’s and falling back to his empty plate.

“I- I know, I just…” He tugged a loose string off his jeans, letting it fall unceremoniously to the floor. “I feel like I used you for… It’s stupid, just… I love you, and I don’t want to lose you.”

I love you I love you I love you… Read into it Seungmin.

He didn’t. He fought a sigh from leaving his lips as he brought his hands to the table and continued,

“

you’re my best friend, you know? You’re one of my only friends aside from Minho hyung and Chan hyung and that’s only by association.”

Seungmin placed his hand over Jisung’s, “I know,” he did his best to look Jisung in the eyes, the elder barely lifting his head. “But they both like you, Jisung. I mean… There’s a lot to like about you.”

A small smile tugged at his lips as he asked, “there is?”

Seungmin nodded, “yeah, I mean… You sing well, you can rap, you picked up Minho’s dance routines pretty easily when we were kids. You…” Jisung lifted his head, just slightly, barely enough to meet the younger’s eyes. “You taught me how to play the guitar and the piano - although you’re still way better than I am. If you hadn’t chosen this path I think you’d be touring the world right now.” Seungmin’s lips twitched, “you’re so much more than that though,” Jisung swallowed again,

why does it feel like a confession?

“You’re one of the nicest people I’ve met, you’re funny - unintentionally and even if I think your jokes are lame. You’re… You’ve got a good heart and you’re passionate about things you love.”

Jisung could suppress the giggles that fell from his lips, he lifted his other hand to cover his mouth. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were in love with me.” He watched Seungmin pause, but he didn’t remove his hand.

Please be in love with me.

“In your dreams, Jisung-ah.”

“Brat. I’m older.”

“I’m taller.”

Whatever words came out of Seungmin’s mouth, he didn’t hear, he was being shook awake, a hand gently gripping his shoulder and shaking him gently.

“Jisungie, wake up.”

Jisung dreaded opening his eyes, he peeked one open, almost breathing a sigh of relief to see Minho in his apartment instead of Seungmin. Not that he would care that Seungmin let himself in, he just wasn’t sure if he could stand to see him so soon - he would love to see him, yes, but… He doesn’t want to fully spiral, and he doesn’t know what he would say now. He can’t blame on being drunk, he can’t say it was a mistake, that would

hurt

Seungmin - it would hurt

him

too.

“Hi Jisungie,” Minho poked his cheek. “I told Seungmin I would pick you up. I bought you something to wear tonight, so I’ll take you to mine and you’ll get dressed, ‘kay?” Jisung almost protested, not wanting to go to the dinner, but he realised Minho would likely drag him out of his bed regardless of whether he wanted to go or not.

Jisung hummed, sitting up, his eyes narrowing as he looked at Minho.

“You’re not dressed.” he pointed at him, “why do I have to get dressed up if you’re not dressed up?” Minho patted his head, “because I came from work, stupid.”

Jisung glared at him the entire way out of his apartment.

The car ride was anything but quiet, once settled, Minho turned to face him fully. “What happened between you and Seungmin today?” Jisung side eyed him, “I didn’t tell you anything.” Minho put the car in reverse, “you don’t have to Sungie, I’m an older brother. I know when things happen between my little brother and our shared best friend.”

“Hyung-”

“No no, wait you’re right. My little brother and his future husband, my best friend.”

“Hyung!” A flush was blooming up his neck and he would swat at the older if he weren’t driving in the street now.

“Sorry, I’m trying to make you feel better… You don’t have to tell me just… You know I’m here to listen to you. Always.” A soft sigh through his nose. Jisung could tell he doesn’t like this. Their situation. Minho is always telling him to make his move, that Seungmin likes him too, but Seungmin’s actions always told a different story and Jisung didn’t want to lose him.

“We can talk at home, if you want. Channie will be there, if that’s okay?” Jisung hummed, not really trusting himself to say anything.

Minho didn’t push. Jisung liked that about him.

“In your own time, Jisungie. I’m not going anywhere,”

he would always say that, and he didn’t miss it this time either.

“In your own time, Jisungie. I’m not going anywhere.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Seungmin didn’t care much for a lot of their office parties or for dinner outings. Especially since the places were always far too high-end for him to actually enjoy without feeling out of place.

This party was not an exception.

It was classy, like all the rest, wine and champagne brands he wouldn’t dare attempt to pronounce, the lighting felt like he was staring directly into the sun - maybe that would be a tad bit dramatic but it was still far too bright in the already white room.
He felt like he deserved a pay raise for dealing with this - he doesn’t even know what the party was for - he had no idea, he hadn’t been paying attention when he was invited.
Then again, he never really paid attention when other board members spoke to him outside of meetings.
To say he was nervous would be a slight understatement. He had sent Minho in his place to get Jisung because he wasn’t sure if he could see him without acting on the feelings he’s been burying for years. Him and Jisung have already both agreed that they weren’t just best friends anymore - and Seungmin wasn’t sure if Jisung had really meant it when he said that and he also wasn’t sure exactly what Jisung wanted from him.
If Jisung wanted to stay friends, Seungmin would be fine with that. If Jisung wanted Seungmin’s-
“Hey!”
Seungmin jumped slightly, silently thanking the gods he didn’t let out an undignified scream. He turned around to see Minho and -

Jisung.

The older had cleaned up well, wearing what Seungmin thought was a dress shirt Minho bought Jisung a couple years ago that he never wore (he didn’t have the need to). It was a v-neck blouse, frilly ruffles on the front - Seungmin had been dying to see Jisung in it since he had tried it on that day. The shirt was tucked into a pair of dress pants that hugged his tiny waist and his ass and Seungmin swears he’d be on his knees if Jisung asked.
(iykyk)

He was too focused on Jisung, he didn’t register that his brother spoke to him, or even walked away. He didn’t register that Minho had left him alone with Jisung and that Jisung was trying to get his attention now.
“Seungmin? Seungie..?” He was waving a hand in front of his face, “you there?”

“Ah! Uh,” he cleared his throat. “Y-yeah, I’m here… I’m uh…” his swallowed the lump in his throat, trying to hold Jisung’s gaze instead of letting his eyes wander the older’s body.
“Sorry, what were you saying?” Jisung shook his head, “just called your name is all,” his eyes drifted down Seungmin’s body, just briefly that it would’ve been missed if Seungmin hadn’t been watching him like a hawk.

“So,” Jisung started, slinging an arm across Seungmin’s shoulders. Be cool, this is normal Jisung behaviour. “What’s the party for?” Seungmin stifled his laugh as he shook his head, “I don’t even know. Minho hyung didn’t tell you?” It was Jisung’s turn to shake his head, “why don’t you know? Hm? I thought you knew everything?”

The younger rolled his eyes, gently shoving an elbow into Jisung’s ribs. The older all but yelped as his face twisted in slight pain. Seungmin reached out a hand, pulling Jisung closer by his shoulder.
“Jisungie? You okay? I didn’t mean to hurt you-” The older cut him off, “no no, just… Minho hyung took me to get a tattoo after I told him I got in. It’s still a bit tender in some places.”

Seungmin swallowed thickly, clearing his throat awkwardly. And when I thought he couldn’t get hotter, he thought. Merely thinking of Jisung inked up again drove him insane. He remembered going with Jisung when he got his first tattoo, Blessed, written in a gothic font across the right side of his chest. He had spent the entire time holding Jisung’s hand and listening to his borderline moans for hours and then proceeded to help him care for it in the following weeks.
“Another tattoo,” he echoes, trying to ignore the memory of Jisung getting his first tattoo. “What’s this one? More words or?” Jisung chuckled, shaking his head. “Not exactly, but this one goes further down, I think it would’ve been awkward if you and I went together.”

Seungmin’s smile faltered, “a-awkward?” he cleared his throat, “why would it be awkward? I mean we’ve practically seen each other naked before-” Jisung waved him off, “no like I don’t know the first time you went with me you were awkward.” He shook his head, “I just didn’t want to ask you to come along again and you hate it or something, you know?”
Seungmin let out a hum, his eyes flickering away from Jisung, searching the room.
“Want a drink?” He didn’t stick around to hear Jisung’s answer, instead, approaching one of the venue staff and plucking two glasses off her tray. He murmured a soft “thank you,” before returning to Jisung.

“I know you don’t really like wine or champagne but that’s all Chan hyung orders for these parties,” he handed the glass off, taking a sip of his own. “It’s fine, at least I know I won’t be drinking a lot tonight.” Jisung followed suit, taking a small sip and immediately making a face. “How does Chan hyung drink this shit?”
Before Seungmin could respond, a voice sounded behind them.

“I think you’re just too used to cheap beer and soju,” a laugh followed, and then a sigh fell from Jisung’s lips.
They both turned around, “hi Chan hyung, Minho hyung.” Seungmin met his brother’s eyes as Jisung talked to Chan. Minho raised a brow at him, and Seungmin pressed his lips together.

“How are you settling in?” Chan asked, “I heard you’re floor three, right? That’s Mark hyung’s floor, isn’t it?” Jisung nodded, “yeah, Mr. Tuan’s been pretty great, he’s nice, actually.”
Seungmin began to tune the conversation out, exchanging glances with Minho a few times but mostly keeping his eyes on Jisung, sipping his wine while the others conversed.

Seungmin never cared much for parties, he would much rather be in his apartment reading or watching a short film while he ate dinner. What is this party even for? He wasn’t sure if he even cared anymore, whatever the party was for - sometimes they had dinner parties for no reason and other times it was because of boosts in sales, or project completions.
Seungmin had wandered around, finding a place to sit. Jisung was still in his line of sight, and he still looked perfect. He wasn’t sure how long he was sitting alone but he lost track of time; his wine glass got refilled whenever it depleted, and he kept drinking.
Seungmin hadn’t intended to spend the entire time drinking, he was pacing himself, he knew his limits and the only upside was that the wine started to taste more like juice with every glass - he didn’t think that was a good thing, but he didn’t stop.

“I’m afraid I’m gonna have to cut you off, Kim Seungmin.” He didn’t have to look up to know that Jisung had taken his glass away, handing it off to Minho with a chuckle. “How many glasses are you in, baby?” Baby?

Seungmin shrugged, a non-committal hum slipping past his lips. “You don’t know?” Jisung sat next to him, draping an arm over his shoulder. “I feel like you drank more than I did tonight.” He pressed a finger into Seungmin’s cheek, “I only had two glasses. You look like you’ve had twelve.” Seungmin huffed, “they kept refilling it. S’their fault.” his words were slurred, but his eyes drifted up to meet Jisung’s. He was smiling, fondly. His eyes were so soft and still just as sparkly as they always were.
Seungmin hummed, placing a hand on Jisung’s thigh, “Seungmin-”

“Shh..” He squeezed gently before moving his hand up, past his waist, over his abdomen, settling on his face. “Seungmin.” Jisung grabbed his wrist, holding tightly. “You’re drunk, Seung-ah.” Seungmin flexed his fingers in an attempt to grasp Jisung’s shirt. The older pulled their hands down to the table, pinning Seungmin’s wrist down, “Kim Seungmin.”

Seungmin’s heart was in his throat, Jisung rarely took this tone with him. He settled his hand against the table. “I’m going to find hyung, okay? Stay here.” He released Seungmin’s wrist, pushing his chair out and disappearing into the party before Seungmin could get a word out. He watched Jisung weave between crowds of people to find Minho, watched them converse and watched as Minho handed Jisung the keys; a hand on his shoulder, their faces close.
Seungmin ignored the ugly feeling that sparked in his chest when Minho headbutted Jisung to which Jisung rolled his eyes and pushed the older away.
Jisung was walking back to him, keys in hand, a small smile on his face. “Minho hyung said he’ll meet us in the car.” Jisung wrapped an arm around his shoulder. “Let’s go.”
…
Jisung didn’t know where Minho got the patience to handle Seungmin when drunk. Drunk Seungmin was somehow worse than drunk Jisung; more touchy, needy, horny.
“Seungmin, sit.” Minho pushed him on the couch. “‘M not a dog.” Minho merely hummed in response, ignoring his brother and turning to face Jisung.

“I’m gonna get him some water, keep your hands to yourselves.” He turned back to face Seungmin momentarily before shuffling off to the kitchen. Jisung stayed leaned against the wall, even though Seungmin was pouting at him from his seat at the couch, Jisung would not give in, he already knew what would happen if he did and he doesn’t want them to go another undefined period of time without talking.

“Hyung,” Jisung looked up, meeting the younger’s gaze. What’s taking him so long?

“Hyung, don’t ignore me.” Jisung sighed, “I’m not ignoring you Seungie, what’s up?”

He stared at Jisung, but when he opened his mouth, Minho’s voice filled the room. “Sorry, took forever to find the painkillers,” he tossed the box to Jisung, who almost failed to catch it before he grabbed Seungmin’s chin and held the cup to his lips. “Drink.”“Not a dog, hyung.”
Jisung silently watched them, Seungmin drinking the water (willingly, despite all the glaring he was doing), and Minho simply holding the glass in one hand and Seungmin’s chin up with the other. Jisung still wasn’t sure where Minho got the patience - maybe because they’re brothers, maybe because Minho basically raised him, maybe because -
“-okay, Jisung-ah?” Minho was in front of him, a hand on his shoulder, shoes on his feet.
Jisung didn’t hear a word he just said, but he nodded anyway, he didn’t miss the raised brow Minho gave him but when the older said nothing else before stepping back he let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“Jisungie, don’t let the dog do things he shouldn’t do.” Those were Minho’s parting words before the door clicked behind him.
Jisung let his eyes drift back to Seungmin, before immediately looking away. The younger was already staring at him, head resting against his open palm, elbow propped on the arm of the sofa. Jisung took a breath, willing himself to meet Seungmin’s eyes again.

“We’re gonna get into comfy clothes and take a nap, okay?” He did his best to keep his voice steady, to keep his eyes from wandering too far down Seungmin’s body, to keep his hands in Seungmin’s as he pulled the younger off the couch; gently guiding him down the hall, out of his stuffy clothes into clean pyjamas, and then to sit on the bed.
When he turned away, Seungmin grabbed his hand, “stay?” His voice soft, almost sad, as if he really thought Jisung would actually leave him alone in his state. “I’m going to borrow some of your clothes, Seung-ah, okay? And then, we’re gonna brush our teeth, wash our faces and go to sleep, ‘kay?” Seungmin huffed, a small noise sounding in his throat, but he made no move to follow Jisung. He was grateful for that.
He changed quickly, setting up their toothbrushes and helping Seungmin wash up before caring for himself. He had gotten so far, but Seungmin started being difficult when Jisung brought the towel to pat away the water dripping down his neck.

“Seungmin, stop being a pain,” the younger kept moving his face and pushing Jisung’s hands down, insisting that he’s capable of caring for himself. Jisung took a deep sigh, wetting his hands under the faucet before wiping them off on the towel. He grabbed him by the shoulders and pushed him against the wall.

“Look, I know… We’re in a weird stage right now, okay? I know that we’re… Doing things we normally wouldn’t do, things friends normally wouldn’t do, but Seungmin, in the morning, when you’re not drunk… We’ll talk about it, okay?”

Seungmin didn’t say anything, Jisung took him to bed.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The question hung in the air, the few words that fell from his lips could have shattered the earth - no that was being dramatic. Seungmin was being dramatic. There are probably a thousand other ways he could have asked what he just did.

“What?” Jisung’s voice was soft, but entirely full of disbelief as his eyes locked on Seungmin’s, mid coffee sip.

He did

not

just ask me that.

Seungmin averted his gaze, running a hand through his hair, “I mean, I thought it was obvious. I was going to take you home earlier yesterday too, do-”

“Seungmin.”

Fuck’s sake Seungmin.

His eyes snapped back to Jisung’s, eyes widened slightly as Jisung exhaled deeply. “I wasn’t going to

fuck

you when you were

drunk.

You-”

“I was perfectly fine!”

For the most part

, but that was left unsaid. Regardless, it was an awful argument on Seungmin’s part, but he swears he was consciously aware of what was going on and what

wasn’t

going on. Jisung was staring at him in a

I-don’t-believe-you

kind of way. That’s exactly how he was looking at him;
because Jisung didn’t believe him, Seungmin knew it, hell Minho wouldn’t believe Seungmin either.

“Bullshit.” Jisung muttered, barely loud enough for Seungmin to hear, but in the quietness of the apartment, he did. Seungmin let out a sigh.

“Look,” he began. “I remember drinking about eight glasses of wine at the party. I remember you coming over and telling me that you’re cutting me off. I remember,” he looked away from Jisung then, a flush rising to his cheeks. “I remember touching you, and I remember you stopping me. I remember you getting Minho hyung’s keys, I remember following you to car park - you

kissed

me and said -”

“Seungmin-ah…” He called, a little too gently for Seungmin’s heart to handle. Jisung sighed, his eyes flickered to his drink then back to Seungmin. “I didn’t want you to regret it, okay? I didn’t want a repeat of what happened the last time we were drunk and alone together. That was the longest we ever went without talking. And it was because I initiated something that -”

“You wanted it, Sung-ah. Not just that day, but in the elevator. I don’t… I don’t know what you want me to tell you. That I want it too? That I’d rather have sex with you than any strangers I pick up in bars-”

“Stop doing that.” Jisung stood up, striding towards Seungmin. Seungmin stepped back as Jisung got closer. “Jisung-ah,” he said, his back hitting the wall of the kitchen doorway.

Is he…

You only need me,

Jisung wants to say, but he

can’t

.
He can’t ruin what they have - what they’ve had for years… Unless he’s already ruined it anyways… Has he?

“Stop bringing home strangers.” Seungmin’s heart raced as he watched Jisung approach, the frustration in Jisung’s eyes morphing into something more complex. Something he wasn’t sure he wanted to unpack right now. He knew Jisung had a point, but Seungmin wasn’t going to admit that. “Jisung-ah, you’re not my boyfriend,” he retorted, keeping his voice steady. He’s not nervous. Definitely not. “It's not your concern who I bring home.” His words contradicted what his heart wanted, to the thoughts that filled his brain;

I want you to be mine, I want it to be your concern. Make it your concern, Jisung.

A poorly masked flicker of hurt crossed Jisung’s features before he wiped it away, “no, but I’m your best friend, Seung-ah,” he replied, now just centimeters from Seungmin “And I care about you. I don’t want some asshole hurting you.” He began to reach a hand up, as if to brush it through Seungmin’s hair, but stopped.

I want to be yours.

Seungmin rolled his eyes,

best friend,

he thought, feeling a mix of irritation and something else, something warm and fuzzy that he didn’t dare acknowledge. “Well, then maybe you should just be the one to fuck me when I need it,” he said, a little rough; rougher than intended and all he could do now was stare at Jisung, whose eyes widened for a brief moment before leaning closer.

If it’s what you want, then,

“okay,” he murmured. He was so close that Seungmin could feel the heat emanating from his body. And without another word, Jisung claimed Seungmin’s mouth in a searing kiss.

Seungmin won’t lie, hadn’t actually expected Jisung to take the bait, to kiss him again, possibly finally fuck him. Oh god does he hope he doesn’t embarrassingly say ‘I love you’. He thinks he’d kill himself on the spot.

Jisung’s hands roamed over his body, gripping his hips and pulling him closer, grinding their crotches together as if trying to meld them into one. Seungmin’s hands, which had been bracing himself against the wall, slid up to tangle in Jisung’s hair, the silky strands a stark contrast to the roughness of his own desperate need. The kitchen suddenly felt too small, too confining, as their kiss grew more frantic.

“B-bedroom,” Seungmin managed to mumble between kisses, and Jisung’s eyes met his for a brief second before tugging him out of the kitchen and dragging him through the apartment he knows just as well as his own.

He pushed the door open, pushing Seungmin against it to close it. Unnecessary, but he’s not taking the chance that Minho could drop by unannounced to check on them. Jisung slid his hands under Seungmin’s shirt, squeezing his waist before lifting the fabric over his head.

He’s seen Seungmin shirtless before, but it’s different now. It’s so much more than peeks he’s seen when walking in while he’s getting dressed, or the time when Seungmin broke his wrist and Jisung’s helped him button his shirt and pretend not to see the sliver of skin. Jisung wasn’t sure how he survived at the time.

His fingertips danced over Seungmin’s bare chest, tracing the soft, sensitive skin down to his waist. The desire to whisper sweet nothings, to call him pretty, so

so

pretty, was bubbling in his throat. But this wasn’t the time for words; actions would speak louder than any confession Jisung could give him right now.

He pressed a kiss to Seungmin’s lips before moving down to his neck, licking and biting the soft skin. Seungmin let out a soft whimper above him, grabbing his shirt and pulling him closer, begging without words. Jisung felt the fabric tighten around his boy as Seungmin tried to tug it off.

Jisung complied, a small smirk pulling at his lips. The

Blessed

tattoo was familiar to Seungmin, something he had seen often, but the dragon inking Jisung’s left side was new territory.

Holy shit,

he tentatively reached out, fingers grazing the tattoo gently. Jisung sucked in a breath at the contact, but reached his own hands down to Seungmin’s waist.

“I’ve always liked your tattoos, Jisung-ah…” Seungmin murmured, eyes flickering back up to meet Jisung’s. “But I didn’t expect…”

you’re ticklish here,

he trailed off, gesturing vaguely to the ink. Jisung fought a small smile as he wrapped his fingers around Seungmin’s wrist. “I never expected you to get one either, but you did.” He dropped his hand from the younger’s waist and guided him further into the room.

He pushed Seungmin onto the bed and stepped back, thumbs hooked into the waist of his sweatpants. Seungmin bit his lip as he watched Jisung strip off the fabric,

he wasn’t wearing - fuck.

His eyes locked onto Jisung’s length and he felt his mouth go dry. He knew for a fact Jisung would be big but fuck, Jisung’s bigger than anyone he’s done this with.

Jisung leaned over him, fingers curling over the waistband of his sweatpants and boxers, pulling them down slowly. Seungmin wants to huff, express annoyance at the slow pace, but he doesn’t. Jisung drops the fabric unceremoniously to the floor.

Jisung wanted to say something, he didn’t want this to mean nothing, not when it meant everything. He could feel Seungmin staring at him, intent, focused; like Jisung was all that mattered in this moment.

Jisung’s gaze lingers on Seungmin, suppressing the urge to mark up his skin as he presses a quick kiss to his lips. He reaches up to open the drawer of the nightstand, shaking his head slightly as he rummages through its contents.

Seungmin was always a neat person but his nightstand was the opposite; the spare key for Jisung’s apartment, Minho’s, even both their parents' places (because Jisung couldn’t be trusted not to lose it).

“Jisung-ah,” he looks over, biting back a smile at Seungmin’s appearance. His cheeks were flushed slightly, his bottom lip held between his teeth now that he has Jisung’s attention.

“Hmm?” He pulled out a small tube followed by a foil wrapper, looking back to meet Seungmin’s eyes. He places the contents on the bed, leaning down to take Seungmin’s face in his hands, bracing his forearms against the mattress. Jisung's voice was soft, yet filled with concern, “are you sure you want this?”

Seungmin's teeth grazed his lip, teasing the delicate skin until Jisung gently reached out. With a tender touch, Jisung brushed his thumb against Seungmin's lip, easing it free from his teeth. “It's okay,” Jisung whispered, “talk to me, Seung-ah.”

His voice was soft, so soft Jisung was sure he would’ve missed it if they weren’t so close. “You haven’t done it like this before?” Jisung repeated, the question evident in his voice. He tilted his head, eyes never leaving Seungmin’s. “You’ve never bottomed?” Seungmin shook his head, eyes flitting away from Jisung’s.

His thumbs stroked over Seungmin’s cheeks as he pressed a kiss to his lips, “we don’t have to-”

“I want to.” His words hung in the air as he searched Jisung’s eyes with his own, “I want this, Jisung… With you.” Jisung wasn’t sure what he was looking for; a question, an answer - all Jisung knew was that he wanted Seungmin too.

“Okay,” he pressed his lips against Seungmin’s forehead. “Okay,” he mumbled, glancing down, meeting Seungmin’s eyes again, “we’ll take it slow.” Seungmin nods, eyes fluttering closed as Jisung gently pushes the hair out of his face. Seungmin opens his mouth to speak, but Jisung cuts him off with a soft, brief kiss.

He pulls back, shuffling down and settling between Seungmin’s legs, trailing his fingers down his outer thigh, squeezing the skin gently as he pressed a kiss to his inner thigh. Seungmin watches his gaze drop, watches his hand wrap around his cock and he can’t help the involuntary jerk that passes through his body.

He watches, breath held, as Jisung’s tongue darts out, licking a slow, wet line from the base to the tip. Seungmin lets out a small whine, fingers grasping the bed sheets as Jisung looks up at him. His breath hitched as Jisung lips parted, closing around him, slowly sinking down.

Seungmin choked back a whine as Jisung swirled his tongue around the head of his cock. He reached a hand out, threading his fingers through Jisung’s hair in an attempt to control the urge to fuck Jisung’s mouth.

Jisung’s grip tightened around Seungmin’s thigh, holding him in place as he took him deeper, the tip of his tongue teasing his slit. Seungmin’s whines grew louder, his moans filled the quiet of the room.

“Fuck,” he cursed, hips jerking up, earning a glare from Jisung who dropped his thigh, hand sliding up to hold his hip down. “Jisung,” his voice was breathy, embarrassingly so, he felt the heat flood his face.
Seungmin was so close, so fucking close, and all he wanted was more.

Jisung pulls off, a string of saliva connecting his lips to Seungmin’s cock, smirking at the whine that fills the room. “You want me to fuck you, don’t you?” Seungmin nods fervently as he tries to form words, but Jisung doesn’t give him the chance. He captures Seungmin’s mouth with his own, stealing his breath as he reaches for the lube. The cap pops open and a slick finger presses against Seungmin’s entrance, causing him to gasp into Jisung’s mouth.

Jisung's warm, slicked-up digits ghosted over Seungmin's tight, quivering entrance, sending shivers up his spine. Seungmin's breath hitched, his eyes widening with anticipation and nerves as he felt the gentle pressure of Jisung's finger pushing against him. Jisung's voice was a soothing murmur against his lips, "Relax, baby," he coaxed, "just breathe for me." Seungmin nodded, his eyes fluttering closed as he focused on Jisung's calming words.

The first digit slid in smoothly, Jisung worked it in and out, his touch gentle but firm. Seungmin's body began to melt under Jisung's skilled ministrations, his breath coming out in shaky gasps as he felt himself opening up, his muscles giving in to the sweet invasion. The sensation was alien, yet exhilarating, and all he could do was cling to Jisung, his hands gripping his shoulders tightly as if they could somehow anchor him to reality. The digit inside him curled, stroking his prostate, making his cock jerk with pleasure.

“More,” Seungmin breathed, voice desperate as he bucked his hips, trying to take more of Jisung’s fingers. The corner of Jisung’s lips quirked as he added a second finger, stretching him wider, making him feel fuller. Seungmin’s whimpers grew louder, body tightening around Jisung’s knuckles, begging for more without words. Jisung’s chuckle was low and soft as he slid in a third, scissoring them open.

Seungmin was a writhing mess beneath him, eyes glazed over and his mouth open in a silent plea for release. He couldn’t take it anymore.

“Fuck me Jisungie,” he moaned, hand reaching for Jisung’s wrist. “Please, I need it.”
Jisung took mercy on him, pulling his fingers out and reaching for the condom, tearing it open.

He took another look at Seungmin, willing away the confessions that were trying to force their way out. His cock was painfully hard in his hand as he rolled the condom down the length. He swallowed the lump in his throat as he positioned himself between Seungmin’s legs.

With a gentle push, Jisung entered him, his cock sliding inch by inch into the tight, welcoming heat of Seungmin's body. Seungmin's grip tightened on the bed sheets as Jisung’s cock filled him up, the burn and the stretch almost too much to handle. He bit his lip, trying to keep his whines to a minimum, but as Jisung began to move, he couldn't hold back the sounds of pleasure. His hips rolled, meeting Jisung's slow, deliberate thrusts, his body begging for more. Jisung's eyes never left Seungmin's, watching as the pleasure painted his features, his own desire reflected in the deep brown pools of his gaze.

Jisung leaned down, capturing Seungmin's lips in a bruising kiss as he increased his pace, their tongues tangling together, the kiss was messy, all teeth and spit and need, but it was perfect, just like this moment. He pushed deeper, his movements growing more assertive as he hit that sweet spot inside Seungmin, making him see stars. Seungmin’s nails dug into Jisung's back, urging him to go harder, faster. Jisung groaned, feeling his own orgasm building, the tension coiling tight in his belly as he gave into Seungmin's pleas, fucking him with a fierce intensity that left them both panting for air.

With a gentle nudge, Jisung lifts Seungmin’s legs up, placing them over his broad shoulders and giving him a better angle, making Seungmin gasp as he’s opened up even more. Jisung sinks even deeper into him, filling him completely. The new position makes every thrust hit that sweet spot inside him, and the sound of their skin slapping together fills the room, mixing with the sweet symphony of their ragged breathing.

“Ahh, fuck,” Seungmin cries out, his voice a mix of pain and pleasure as Jisung’s cock stretches him to the limits. Jisung’s own moans are muffled as he buries his face in Seungmin’s neck, his teeth grazing the sensitive skin as he fucks into him with an almost brutal rhythm. Seungmin’s body tightens around him, muscles clenching as he rides the edge of climax. The sound of their bodies moving together, the slick wetness of their skin, and the feeling of Jisung’s cock sliding in and out of him are almost too much to handle, and he knows he won’t last much longer.

Jisung’s hand snakes down to wrap around Seungmin's leaking cock, stroking him in time with his thrusts, pushing him closer to the brink. “Seung-ah,” Jisung murmurs into his ear, his voice thick with need, “You’re so fucking tight, baby. So good for me.” And with those words, Seungmin can’t hold back any longer. He cums hard, spilling over Jisung's hand and chest, his body convulsing as wave after wave of pleasure washes over him. Jisung follows soon after, his own orgasm ripping through him.

For a moment, Jisung doesn’t move, he doesn’t think he breathes as he comes down from his high. His eyes flicker across Seungmin’s face, the subtle quirk of his lips and his damp, flushed cheeks make his heart skip a beat as he leans down to press a soft, lingering kiss to Seungmin’s lips, holding back the words he desperately wants to say.

What would happen now? Do they just go back to normal? Do they just pretend this didn’t happen or is this going to be a regular thing?

Jisung had so many questions but didn’t want to ask any of them in fear of the answers he’d receive.

“Hey,” Seungmin called, soft, weak, almost missable. “Don’t think too hard, you might break your brain.”

Oh they’re normal, that’s good. But is Jisung supposed to pretend this never happened? Does Seungmin want to pretend this never happened? Should -

“Seriously, what is going on inside that head of yours?”

“Nothing, nothing,” he mumbled, beginning to pull out, not missing the sharp intake of air below him. “I just think I have work today, so I’ll have to go soon.” He ignores the frown on Seungmin’s face. “I’ll help you get cleaned up though, yeah?”

Seungmin hums, sticking his hand up for Jisung to take.

So they’ll just be… Normal?

Jisung doesn’t think he could ever do that with anyone else, not after Seungmin. But, this isn’t about what Jisung wants - what he’s always wanted. He doesn’t know where Seungmin stands, not one hundred percent, at least.

Jisung thinks he’d wait forever, because he’s only ever wanted one person, and now that he’s had him, he’s sure there never will be another.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

When Jisung got home he had taken a hot shower and threw on a hoodie and sweats - because he had in fact lied to Seungmin, he didn’t have work today but Minho did and that is where he would be going as soon as he was done getting ready.

In the middle of drying his hair however, there was a knock at his door, followed by the sound of the doorbell. With a sigh, he shut off the blow dryer and left it on the counter padding out into the living room with a frown. It was still too early for human interaction but he doesn’t want to prologue the inevitable.

“Oh!” It was a little girl, he believed her name was Lucy, the receptionist's daughter, but he wasn’t sure. Before Jisung could question why she had come up here, she thrusted an envelope into his hand, talking loudly. “A friend of yours came by! He wanted you to have this,” she smiled widely as he accepted the envelope, then with a wave goodbye she giggled and skipped toward the elevator.

“Thanks..?” he mumbled, though she was long gone. He closed the door, flipping the envelope in his hands. An involuntary smile formed on his lips as he read Minho hyung’s awful writing - it isn't so much awful as it was hurried as if the note was an afterthought.

Seungmin, if you open this I’ll bury you next to Chan in an unmarked grave. It’s for Jisungie.

But receiving it so early in the day led Jisung to wonder how long Seungmin had it until he decided to hand it over. He knew Seungmin wouldn’t keep it from him, it was just something from Minho.

Jisung still hesitated though, what if he didn’t want to open it? It was probably Minho being Minho and it's just a photo set of his cats. On the other hand, what if it’s something important and Jisung hasn’t opened it yet?

With a resigned sigh, Jisung dropped the envelope onto the counter as he passed the kitchen, returning down the hall to dry his hair; but before he reached the bathroom, he turned on his heel, grabbed the envelope and tore it open.

…

“Jisungie,” Minho started, his eyes flickering to Chan briefly before turning his attention back to his friend. “You’re an idiot.” His voice was soft, his words had no heat behind them and Jisung knew he was right, but that doesn’t mean he agrees.

“I am not!” he protested, almost stamping his foot like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum, but crossed his arms over his chest with a huff when Minho raised a brow.

“Look, Jisung, you and Seungmin have been dancing around each other for years - he literally took you to every single school dance Jisung. You never spend money when you’re out with him and he practically gives you whatever you want, he’s always there even if you don’t call him and he always knows when there’s something wrong with you.” Minho leaned forward, placing a hand over Jisung’s shaky ones. “Trust me when I tell you that Seungmin really likes you. I’ve been telling you for years, Sungie.”

Jisung sat there, blinking rapidly, his brain lagging and failing to catch up. Jisung is about to have the human equivalent of the blue screen of death. He needs an entire reset because there’s no way that Seungmin actually has feelings for him—he would already know by now, they don’t keep secrets from each other.

Well, that’s actually hypocritical, Jisung takes that back; he’s been keeping his feelings a secret for so long, but just because Seungmin cares about Jisung and does certain things for him doesn’t actually mean that he likes Jisung as much as Jisung likes him.

“Sungie,” Minho calls, squeezing Jisung’s hand gently. “I know it’s a lot to wrap your head around but I don’t want you to keep dismissing it. You both deserve to be happy and you’re the only person I trust to take care of him,” he offers a smile, a soft, sweet barely there smile; one that Jisung can count on one hand the times he has seen it.

“And he’s the only person I trust to take care of you,” Jisung looks at him, the smile still present as he continues, “you’re my best friend, Sungie. And he’s my brother, I want my two favourite people to be happy together.”

“I… Will try to talk to him.” Minho’s smile widens at his words, “that’s all I can ask from you.”

They don’t talk. Whenever they meet to do anything Seungmin is immediately attaching their lips together, drowning out any and every possible thought Jisung could have, effectively shutting his brain off. They’ve been trading off, switching from time to time, sometimes Jisung will fuck him and sometimes Seungmin will fuck Jisung. There was a time where Seungmin tried to ride him and only lasted a few minutes before his legs gave out and Jisung rolled them over and railed him into the sheets.

It’s been two weeks since they’ve started doing this - almost three. Jisung has had plenty of opportunities to level with him, to talk about what they’re doing, to tell him that it hurts knowing the man he loves doesn’t want more from him. Jisung keeps telling himself one more time and then he’ll stop it. He doesn’t want to keep hurting like this, keep reminding himself that this only started because Jisung didn’t want Seungmin to be with anyone else.

But, Seungmin isn’t his. He was right about that; Jisung is

just

his

best friend.

He’s not his boyfriend and he has no right to tell Seungmin that he can’t sleep with other people.

Now, we cut to the present time, it’s four in the afternoon and Jisung is nervously pacing outside the door to Minho and Chan’s apartment, he was told to dress nicely, so he picked a pair of nice jeans and one of Seungmin’s dress shirts that had been left at his place after one of their many nights together.

He’s only here because Minho forced both him and Seungmin to come over for dinner, along with a few mutual friends, something about good news - but Jisung wasn’t really listening, or maybe he just forgot. Now, he’s thinking about talking to Seungmin later, after dinner, maybe before they leave - definitely before they leave if Jisung wants to

actually

talk.

“Seungmin, we need to talk,” he starts. “No, that will just freak him out. Hey Seung-ah, there’s something I gotta tell you - no that sounds even worse.” He’s too caught up in his head, muttering out different variances of the same phrase, hoping one will stick, but as he turns around he bumps into someone, feeling their hands hold his waist to steady him.

“I am so- Seungmin! Hey,” he lets out a nervous laugh as he feels the younger’s hands tighten slightly around him, pulling him closer. “What’s got you so in your head, Jisungie?”

He shakes his head, stepping out of Seungmin’s arms, “nothing I just realised that I drove here without my wallet, so I’ve been nervously pacing and praying that I don’t get pulled over later.” Jisung laughs awkwardly as he tucks his hands into his pockets, watching Seungmin’s lips part as if he’s going to say something but the door opens, saving him.

He had been expecting Minho, but instead he is face to face with both Hyunjin and Felix who smile widely as they both hug him.

“Jisungie! I haven’t seen you since the party!” Felix says, hands lingering on his shoulders. Jisung can feel Seungmin’s eyes on them but he says nothing as he steps past them, shuffles out of his shoes and disappears inside.

“Yeah,” he breathes, allowing them to pull him along. “It’s only been two weeks and we’re getting busy already,” his gaze shifts between the two and then past them. He recognised the shorter muscular one as Changbin - who he had actually gotten to know quite well through Hyunjin, unfortunately some of what he learned he wished he could forget; and he recognised the other as the barista whose name he just can’t get right.

Changbin offered him a small wave and the barista flashed him a smile as he continued talking with the other man. Jisung looked between the two of them, “oh yeah so uh… Why are we here? Did Minho hyung tell you guys anything?”

“Minho hyung and Chan hyung have been going through the necessary steps to become foster parents!” Hyunjin announced, slinging an arm around Jisung’s shoulders. “The party was actually a fundraiser for a children’s hospital, Chan just lied about the details to us because he didn’t want anyone to know at first -”

“And let me guess, you only know because Changbin hyung is close with Chan?” Jisung cut him off, a brow raised. The older grinned, “it’s so easy to get information out of him, all I have to do -”

Jisung wriggled out of his grip and beelined for the kitchen, only to find Seungmin sitting on the island, a bottle of soju in hand. A warmth spread through his chest as he shuffled closer, fingers wrapping around the bottle as he pulled it out of Seungmin’s hands, placing it on the marble surface. “Hey, you’re not getting drunk without me, are you?” he asked, hoping to bring a smile to the younger man’s lips.

Seungmin glanced at him, a half-assed smile ghosting his lips as he watched Jisung attempt to get on the island too, “it’s Minho hyung’s, he asked me to hold it for him.” Jisung didn’t say anything, trying and failing repeatedly to push himself up to sit next to the younger.

Seungmin tsked as he slid off, hands grabbing Jisung’s waist before depositing him onto the island. Jisung’s eyes widened as they flickered across Seungmin’s face, he swallowed nervously, feeling Seungmin’s fingers trail down his thighs, the touch warm even though his jeans.

“Seungmin,” he whispers, his hands taking Seungmin’s in his own, holding them tightly in his lap. “Seungmin, I think we should talk.” He watches the younger’s eyes momentarily widen and his throat bob slightly as he swallows, but his tone remains steady as he asks, “what do you want to talk about?”

But Jisung shakes his head, “not yet, I want to get through dinner first, I don’t want the air to possibly be awkward and ruin Minho hyung and Chan hyung’s night.” Seungmin offers a non-committal hum as he steps away from Jisung, eyes searching Jisung’s face for an answer Jisung doesn’t think he’ll find.

He watches Seungmin walk away, and for some reason, his heart feels heavy.

…

Jisung was distracted throughout dinner, he was asked questions by Jeongin - the barista, Jisung had finally learned his name, while also learning that him and Felix have been dating for the past couple years - and Jisung was happy for them, he really was, but he couldn’t help a pang of jealousy.

He wanted a relationship with Seungmin, but it didn’t seem like Seungmin wanted one. Minho had told him many times that Seungmin likes him, but Jisung has been doing a lot of thinking - a bad idea, he knows - and he can’t help but wonder… What if Minho is just wrong about how Seungmin feels about him? What if his feelings have always been completely platonic? Love wasn’t exactly Minho’s strong suit, he was quite oblivious when Chan had begun taking an interest in him, taking him out, buying toys and treats for Soonie, Doongie, and Dori while also covering vet visits if Minho ever ended up short.

So Jisung thought, for once, maybe Minho was wrong. But there was a small spark of hope, what if Minho was right? That was scarier idea, because if Minho was right, that would mean he’s always been right and that Seungmin could have been his first everything, and it would mean that him and Seungmin could be at a point in their lives where they’re talking about moving in together and maybe getting a dog.

Jisung’s lonesome overthinking is cut short when the balcony door opens behind him. “Hey, Sung-ah,” it’s Chan, his hand on Jisung’s shoulder, offering a gentle pat. “You were distracted during dinner, Minho-ah is worried about you.”

Jisung hums in response, eyes flickering to Chan’s. The older cracks a smile, “okay, I’m worried too.” he says, leaning against the metal railing. “Come on, talk to me.” Jisung knows that talking to Chan will go one of two ways, either he breaks down crying and shares way too much information or he breaks down crying before he can share anything and Chan has to calm him down before he forgets how to breathe.

He decides to try his luck, “I… Haven’t talked to Seungmin yet,” he ignores Chan’s brow raise as he shifts his weight to his other foot. “It’s - it’s just that everytime I try to talk to him we end up… Well… that’s not important,” he mumbles, a sigh passing his lips. “I just… It hurts that Seungmin doesn’t want a relationship with me and I don’t know how to address that I’m falling apart because of this one-sided … Whatever we have going on.”

It’s quiet, almost too quiet, and when Jisung turns around it makes sense. Seungmin is standing on the other side of the door, his eyes watering as his eyes shift between Chan and Jisung. His lips are parted, like he wants to say something, but the words don’t seem to be coming out.

Chan exhales softly, eyes lingering on Seungmin before offering Jisung an awkward smile and a pat on the shoulder, a parting whisper of “good luck,” before he slipped past Seungmin and back inside.

“Seungmin-ah,” he began, but the younger shook his head. “I- did I ever say that I don’t want a relationship?” he asked, his hand braced against the doorframe as he stepped onto the balcony, pulling the door shut behind him.

His eyes glanced Seungmin over, his shirt was two button undone, slightly untucked from his pants, his tie pulled loose. He knows Seungmin had never said it, but actions speak louder than words, don’t they?

“Well… Well, no but-”

“But nothing, Jisung! I never said -”

“That’s how it feels, Seungmin!”

Seungmin’s face was a mirror of his own, wide eyes, parted lips, teary eyes. Him and Seungmin never fought. At least, not like this; they didn’t yell at each other, interrupt each other, and they’ve never intentionally hurt one another before.

“Seung- Seungmin, wait-”
but Seungmin’s back was already to him, sliding open the door and retreating inside. Jisung started after him, not wanting to call out to him, to make a scene - Seungmin hates attention; but distantly, he hears Seungmin’s voice, soft and broken as he apologises to Minho for not staying and then he hears the soft click of the door.

Minho is standing at the front entrance, arm still outstretched, as if he had tried stopping Seungmin from leaving, he hears a sharp inhale from Minho followed by a shaky exhale as he rolls his shoulders before turning around, eyes sad and lips downturned at Jisung’s wet cheeks.

He’s in Minho’s arms before he knows it, crying into his shoulder and blabbering that he’s a big idiot. Minho doesn’t tell him he’s wrong, or that it isn’t true; he cards his fingers through Jisung’s hair, and shushes him, tells him that it’ll be okay, even though Minho doesn’t sound sure of that.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

A week. It has been a week since Seungmin last went into work, a week since he last saw Jisung, a week since he’s talked to Minho who drops by almost everyday after work takeout in hand to force Seungmin to eat. Seungmin doesn’t know what he was thinking when he opened that door, but when he heard his name slip past Jisung’s lips, he felt it was something he should hear. Jisung isn’t the type of person to talk about people behind their back, but maybe Seungmin had been treating Jisung differently since they started sleeping together.

He hadn’t realised it, not until Jisung told him that it felt like Seungmin didn’t want anything more than a relationship with him, and Seungmin thought on those words for a long time after he got home that night. He hadn’t treated Jisung any better than Jisung’s exs had treated him. He had always been the one who comforted Jisung after every break up, he was the one who knew practically every detail about Jisung’s repetitive relationships. And even the guys Jisung indulged on dates who eventually stopped going out with him because he didn’t want to have sex with them on the first date.

From what he understood, Jisung felt that Seungmin didn’t want him beyond anything physical, that it was just sex. And, at first, Seungmin thought they would both be fine with it, that they could be okay, that it wouldn’t ruin their friendship. But Seungmin realised that he had ruined their friendship single handedly by asking Jisung to sleep with him in the first place.

His doorbell rang, expecting Minho, Seungmin slid off the sofa and made his way to open it. But as the hallway came into view, Seungmin found it empty - maybe someone’s kid in the complex was playing ding dong ditch but that idea quickly flew out of his head when there was a manila envelope taped to his door.

Seungmin glanced down either side of the hallway before lifting the envelope off and shutting his door. He leaned against the wood as he opened the top, pulling out a letter.

Hey, Seungmin, it’s Jisung. It’s been a week since we last spoke and I don’t want to leave things like we did. I know I said it feels like you don’t want a relationship with me, and it’s honestly fine if you don’t, but Seungmin… I can't keep questioning if we’re just friends or if we’re more than friends - if we will ever really be more than friends, if there’s something truly there for us or if we’re meant to be just friends. But, I know what I want, Seungmin - who I want. And if you know what you want too, I’ll be waiting near the elevator for you. Even if you don’t know, I’ll be waiting here for you.

Seungmin wants to see him, he wants to hold Jisung again, he wants to be in his presence, and he wants to truly love Jisung - the way he had promised himself he would.

He places the envelope on the coffee table and despite his less than acceptable appearance, slips into his sneakers and opens the door, this time stepping into the hallway.

“Jisung-ah,” he calls, sticking his head around the corner. And Jisung really was there, his hair messier than usual, his contacts replaced with his round silver framed glasses, and his lithe form drowning in oversized clothes, the hoodie pooling around his waist and the sleeves bunched up on his arms, his fingers barely peeking out of the fabric.

Jisung looked up, a smile threatening to form, “hey,” he murmurs, slowly standing from the floor. “You read the letter.” Seungmin swallowed, nodding as he took a step closer. “Jisung, I… Am so sorry that you felt like I didn’t want anything more with you, I-I thought a lot about how I had treated you after we started sleeping together and I realised it wasn’t all that better than the way your ex's had treated you and I… I promised myself that I would be better than them if I ever got the chance to love you, if you ever gave me the chance to love you.” His eyes dropped from Jisung’s face, flittering around as he continued, “I failed to be better and I failed to be honest with you, I have repeatedly failed to be honest with you.”

He took a deep breath, opening his mouth to confess, finally, after so long, but Jisung’s words drowned out his thoughts.

“I haven’t been honest with you, either, Seung-ah,” he said, a small smile tugging at his lips. “I have been in love with you for a long time, and I always told myself that we would be fine as friends, that it would be something I could endure, something that wouldn’t hurt because you were still in my life and that was all I needed… But as we got older, things changed, we started dating other people - I dated to try and move on and I always chose the shittiest people because I didn’t want to move on but getting hurt everytime still sucked,”
he pulled his bottom lip into his mouth, worrying it between his teeth before letting it go.

“I still love you, Seungmin. I still want to be in your life in any way you’ll have me because you’re all I’ll ever want.”

Seungmin couldn’t help the smile that tugged his lips as he settled his hands on Jisung’s waist, “I have been in love with you for a long time, too, Jisungie. I don’t know when I started to view you as more than a best friend but I do love you, and I have never wanted anyone but you,” he drops his head down, slowly resting it against the crown of Jisung’s head. “And I will always want you, too.”

“So… Does that mean I get to ask you out now?” Seungmin snorted, pulling away from Jisung and pressing a kiss to his forehead. “I want to take you on a date first, Jisung - a real date.” He laid his head on top of Jisung’s again, a smile etched onto his face as he closed his eyes.

“Deal,” Jisung mumbled, pressing his face into Seungmin’s shirt. “But I’m still asking you out so don’t go getting any ideas.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” he whispered, holding Jisung closer.