Archive of Our Own

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Levi didn’t often doubt himself. Doubt led people down the rabbit hole of what-ifs and what should’ve been. He didn’t have the time nor the patience for that. To him, doubt was lethal. And yet, he sat here, wrapped in his own head, wondering about what could’ve been. If he’d done something differently, would they still be here? Would any other choice have led to a better outcome? He’d never know. Speculation was useless. It did him no good. It only ever led to grief and death. Or, at least, he’d never been shown otherwise. But still, he sat here.
On a night such as this, he could only find refuge under the moon. It was a painful reminder of what he’d lost. As the screams echoed in his ears, the cries for help, he glared back at the bright ball in the sky. Its hue was pure, just like her smile. Its imperfections shined, just like his. Any and every crevice of that damned moon reminded him of them. It was why he remained here on cold, haunting nights.
Levi wasn’t one to torture himself. Don’t get it twisted. This wasn’t some sick satisfaction in replaying the horrors of his past, or earlier that day. It ran far deeper than any form of torment. It was his punishment. It was the only thing he found that could adequately remind him of his purpose. Even someone as quiet and sure as Captain Levi faltered sometimes. And only here was he allowed to. For the night, he’d stare daringly into the boldness of the moon. And it would mock him silently, not a word spoken between them.
“...”
It truly was silent. The chill in the air was the only thing that grounded him, that told him he wasn’t on a horse, charging into certain death. The whistle of the wind grazed his ears. His body shifted uncomfortably.
She used to enjoy cold nights like these. She’d sit out on the roof, alone before he’d find her. Then he’d find her fixated on the night sky, as if searching for something. Time after time he’d told her nothing and nobody was up there. But she’d never listened. As he reminisced on it, Levi had a thought. Perhaps it wasn’t the chilly nights she adored. In fact, maybe they were what she hated the most. The faraway look in her eye seemed to hold something out of reach, something she’d never get back. As quiet as she seemed on chilly nights, maybe it was a pained silence, much like his. Now, he regretted not asking more questions.
“You really were such a mystery,” he finally spoke aloud. Next to him, his cup chattered against its saucer. He seized it to sip from his tea. It wasn’t even lukewarm anymore, as he’d been out here for some time. But he drank it anyway. His hand wrang about the rim, and it brought him back to the many times he was called out for his odd teacup etiquette. One of the few bittersweet memories he had of them pierced his cold expression. The smallest of smiles tugged at his lips, and he took another sip. These cold nights weren’t complete misery, he supposed.Levi held the cup carefully in his hands, staring down at the now empty contents. He could make out his reflection in the bottom of it, noticing the lines beneath his eyes. He’d been losing even more sleep as of late. The expeditions they were conducting were draining. Despite all they’d already been through, they couldn’t doubt the abilities of a titan. Soldiers were still dying, and more were quick to replace them. It left a bitter taste in his mouth. It all felt useless. His only hope was to follow his orders and to keep his promises. There were plenty that he hadn’t made good on. And he might never be able to.
He scoffed at himself for getting sentimental. But he truly couldn’t help the doubt seeping into his mind. He hadn’t made good on a single promise. He naively thought he could, that he could be the one to change this wretched place. But like cattle they still lined up, ready to be killed in the name of war. Her words were with him always, and he felt now that he’d betrayed her. Her sacrifice ultimately meant nothing. Their sacrifices meant nothing. He was blind all these years.
Something rustled against a new gust of wind. His coat moved with the breeze, and he realized he’d packed something particular away in his pocket. His hands abandoned the teacup in exchange for the folded paper. A newspaper article neatly clipped from its binding was what he’d stashed away. It was something he’d taken special care to hide. He remembered the day they went out and he found it in the library. It was something almost life-changing—had there been a life to change. It was all pointless now. He’d get no answers, and he’d have no chance to turn it all around. Again, he thought about the conflict that troubled him.
He didn’t like doubt. But he was knee-deep in it and there was no way to ignore it. He had doubts now, and he had regrets. The paper in his hands was proof of that. He couldn’t even let go of even this—an object that couldn’t speak to him nor could it give him hope. His hopes had been dashed the moment his friends were killed, when the sacrificial lamb grew wings and flew away.
“I once thought humans to be implicitly good or evil. I can’t possibly think that way anymore,” he heard. A distant voice, a distant life, was reaching him. It jolted something within him, and he thought hard about those words. Yeah, innocence was not a word he’d use to describe anyone in this world. Every person was stained with blood in some way. To be ignorant was just as bad as holding the knife. But all that mattered to him was trying to do the lesser of two evils. That was the wisdom he’d left that conversation with. There didn’t need to be a blind hope to move on. That wasn’t what he was after.
A promise to end this violence wasn’t as simple as protecting innocence. It meant war. It meant blood. And it meant killing innocence. But if that was what it took to end things, would that have been what she wanted? That blind hope that he couldn’t understand stared him down. He wasn’t ready to open that door yet, and so he looked away. But he was at least more sure of himself now. He’d have to become a devil, but he would follow through with his last promise—to both of them.
Taking another look up at the night sky, he found himself captured by the twinkling dots up there. And he recalled a conversation from years past. Gazing up at the stars wasn’t something he used to do. He used to mock anyone who did. But now he was the one searching for something up there. He was such a hypocrite.
It was late enough, so Levi decided to take his leave from the brisk outdoors. His eyes trailed the words of the headline, “We Can’t Trust Them! The Power of the Titans will Spell Out Our Doom!” A picture beneath it showcased the devastation. He found such irony in reading it. People laid down their lives to pave the road for a better future, but the ignorant would never be satisfied with just that. With gentle hands he folded it back and tucked it away in his pocket. There it would stay until he could find out more. It was his job, his oath. And he swore here and now, to the moon, that he would do just that. He would uncover these mysteries and find a way to stop this madness. This fighting had gone on long enough.
Levi bid the moon ado, and then he retreated into the cold walls of the base.

Year 841

Perched on the rooftop of the Tybur Estate in Liberio, Vega Tybur gazed up at the twinkling stars, as if they could reveal the answer to her impossible predicament. Their stories had guided her all her life: tales of heroic feats, perilous lovers, tragic fates – well, maybe try to avoid that last one. But she’d trusted their words and guidance all this time. And now, there was no story that could tell her how to act, to tell her what was wrong and right. It was the first time she had ever experienced such paralyzing fear. She pleaded with the stars to give her an answer, a way out that didn’t spell out certain death. But the heavens couldn’t speak, and they certainly weren’t going to start now.
Vega tried to contain the bile that threatened to rise up. She was certain there could be no food in her system, for she hadn’t eaten in days and even then, she’d thrown that up almost immediately. She was wracked with guilt—guilt for having even the thought of what she was about to do. And she was going to do it. The stars had already decided they would not help. She was alone. And she could not see any other way out.She felt almost betrayed by the blinking balls of light. They hadn’t ever failed her in the past. When she needed air or time to herself, and it wasn’t so smoggy, she’d talk to them. She’d find her own star and see it shine so brightly. But tonight, it seemed to be the only one she couldn’t see.Perhaps she was a bit biased, but she had always liked the story of the Lyre constellation best. Orpheus and Eurydice: a love so strong, so pure that even death allowed the lovers one last chance to be together. Of course, it did end tragically, but Vega supposed all pure things eventually did. Was that all she was doing tonight in the end? Delaying the inevitable? If she marched down into hell, could she really keep her little brother safe in the sun, innocent and full of life?Such cynicism was not who she was. She had always been complacent but hopeful. She was a hopeful soul inspired by tales of old, and she believed maybe one day she could recreate the beautiful endings from those stories. But she couldn’t. She was but a single person—a subject of Ymir, at that. Now she was faced with reality. And reality was hell. She forced back her sobs. She might have been alone, but that didn’t mean she was free to cry.Then, she began to think. Orpheus had also held hope. What was it that told him he was doing the right thing? It wasn’t a small feat to march into Hell, begging Hades, himself, for your lover. If she could find her own sign that she was doing the right thing, she wouldn’t be so guilt-ridden. This was all for her brother. That was her motivation. She would become a monster to keep him in the light. A tragic realization hit her then. Maybe that was the thing about dragging someone out of hell; only one can ever make it back out in the end. She could take that burden from Atlas’s shoulders, so like his namesake with the weight of the legacy he was forced to bear. That she had forced him to bear with her stupid morals and naive belief that she could change this rotten family. Her stupid, noble family with its stolen glory and bloodstained hands.

She thought of the conversation she had had with one of the older warrior candidates the other day – Zeke – telling her how excited he was to be chosen as the successor to the Beast Titan. The boy had risen quickly in the candidate program since selling out his parents as Eldian restorationists. In the end, Marley didn’t care how strong or intelligent or capable you were; the only thing they truly wanted was kids who would sell their very souls for the false honor of the empire.
Over the years, Vega had had the privilege of watching the candidates grow up, becoming strong and confident as they learned from their mentors; mentors who became like surrogate parents to the young, doomed children. Then, she got to endure a special brand of horror within herself as those naive kids took their place as warriors, viciously ripping apart their teachers as they assumed a legacy of death and violence. She watched, every single time, as the light in their eyes slowly dimmed before finally extinguishing, accompanied by a smattering of applause as they consumed their closest family. Zeke was reaching that point now, though the small glint of hope still shining in his eyes made Vega’s chest clench. She dreaded the day it would get stomped out for good. After all, Ksaver only had another few years in him before it would be time for Zeke to step up to the plate.

Atlas was even younger than Zeke. Did she really have it in her to sit back and watch as he ate their mother? Did she even have the will to stop it? She gazed over the bustling streets of Liberio as the minutes ticked by, delaying the inevitable once again. She took a deep breath, letting the frosty, midwinter night air fill her lungs as she rose to her feet, saying a silent but heartfelt goodbye to the city that almost felt like home to her before turning and beginning her descent into hell.

*****
The cold, icy cavern stretched out as far as Vega could see. She had only been here once before. She was eleven, and her uncle’s term with the Warhammer Titan was coming to an end. Her father wanted it to go to Vega as she was the Tybur heiress and therefore its natural successor. Her mother had hit her knees, begging her father not to thrust such a burden on a child so young. He had relented, allowing her to take the Warhammer in Vega’s place. That was the day Vega had decided she truly hated her father.

Her palms were sweating, heart fluttering in her chest as she took her place behind her father. He looked so self-assured standing there in his neatly pressed suit, not a hair out of place. The perfect patriarch, condemning his only son to untold suffering in the name of legacy. And what a fucking legacy it was. Atlas stood tall before the center dias, dressed in all white like the sacrificial lamb he was. He maintained a level of composure that was impressive for someone so young, but Vega could still see his hands shaking. He stared unblinkingly up at the dais where their mother knelt, arms bound and head bowed. She wasn’t even going to look at her son when he killed her.

Vega was trembling now, but she steadied herself, hardening her heart. There was no looking back now. Someone had to become a monster tonight, and she would not allow it to be Atlas. Her father stepped forward, presenting the syringe to her brother with a look of paternal pride that made her skin crawl. Atlas reached out a trembling hand, lower lip quivering slightly as he squeezed his eyes shut. Vega moved quickly, pushing Atlas out of the way as she ripped the syringe from her father’s hand. She met his eyes as he registered what she was about to do, watching them widen in fear as he cried out. I’m sorry, she wanted to say, I’m so sorry I couldn’t protect you from this too.

Vega stabbed the needle into her arm, pushing down the plunger as she closed her eyes. Naively, she didn’t want to watch what happened next. She heard her mother scream her name in raw terror as the world faded to black. Rapid flashes of light, of faces she didn’t know, flitted before her eyes. She was thrown into a sea of endless darkness, of memories long before her time. A white hammer crashing down. Spikes impaling screaming civilians as they ran for cover. Two noble men shaking hands, laughing heartily as they toasted glasses to peace and glory. The scene was hazy and disjointed, as if from a distant dream. She tried to gasp for breath, feeling the viscous flood of blood fill her mouth instead. Desperate to wake from this nightmare, Vega tried to swim to the surface, only to be dragged down into the murky depths.

When she opened her eyes, the first thing she registered was the blood. It was everywhere, coating her hands and smeared along the pure white walls of the empty cavern. She choked on a sob as she sat up and gazed around the underground chamber, completely alone with the evidence of her sins. She hoped desperately that Atlas made it out in time, that she didn’t– she couldn’t have…
Either way, Vega had certainly succeeded in obtaining the Warhammer, which meant that her mother…her eyes darted involuntarily to the dais, now dripping in the thick, red liquid. She stood on shaky legs as she came to terms with her situation. She couldn’t stay here; as soon as her father realized she had changed back, he would surely hunt her down to take back the power of the Warhammer. No, she had come this far to save Atlas from their family’s sins, she had to see it through.As she stepped out of the glacial cavern and into the warmth of the sun, she knew where she would go. She would seek out the root of the Tybur’s sins, the place that started it all. Deep within her, she knew that this journey had only just begun. There was no turning back now. Her sights set on the morning sun, a sight she felt she didn’t deserve to see. And far on the horizon, past the rising sun and the endless stretch of open blue laid her next destination. She had to go to Paradis.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Vega was honestly a bit shocked at how easy it was to get onto the island, though she supposed it wasn’t often people tried to sneak into the titan-infested hell zone. After all, it wasn’t the average man’s dream to be mauled to death by towering beasts. It was called Paradise, but unless gruesome murder was your idea of Heaven, it was best to steer clear of it.

It was getting out of Marley that was the tricky part.
A moment of mourning was all Vega allowed herself before she had set out. She knew going into this that getting out of Liberio was not going to be a simple task. She’d expected sirens, maybe mass panic. But she hadn’t anticipated the drastic increase in guards and warriors. She had planned for an immediate evacuation, which would’ve made it easier for her to escape. It wasn’t ideal to be near a newly transformed shifter, a rogue one at that. But she understood now that she was stupid in her presumption. Marley didn’t care about its citizens. It only cared about maintaining control over them.

Just leaving the wreckage that was her home took her an hour. And she refused to think about the blood she must have spilled getting out of it. She could feel guilty later. She managed to find her way to the barracks nearby, where she stole a uniform and armed herself with concealable blades. Her only worry at that point was keeping track of the arrival and departure of the ship. But a passing conversation told her she only had to wait here for ten minutes before she ran for it. And she took those ten minutes to reflect on what she was abandoning. She was a wanted criminal now, a traitor to Marley, to her family. There was no going back. Her hands were stained red. They burned, and she couldn’t stand the sensation.

After she had scrubbed the skin on her hands raw, her ten minutes had passed. So she got up, resigned herself, and made her way to the dock. There, her one-way ticket to Paradis laid. She counted the many individuals—men, women, and children—shacked and boarding the vessel. Their cries and begging did not miss her, but she had to steel herself. If she showed any amount of shock here, she was as good as dead. So she sauntered onto the ship, taking a post that didn’t belong to her. And soon enough, they were off. Vega felt it should probably be a bit harder to get away with matricide, but who was she to judge?

Once they had docked, Vega wasted no time in getting off the ship. On the way there she’d been in conflict with herself on whether or not to help the prisoners. But how would she even do that? If she were to expose herself, she’d have to destroy the ship to leave no witnesses, and then how would they get back? She certainly couldn’t carry all of them in titan form, so bringing them to the walls with her wasn’t a viable option either. And that led her down a horrific trail of thought. She had no way of rescuing them, but she could take vengeance on their behalf. When the thought came to her, she’d almost thrown up. There had been too much blood today for her to be comfortable doing that. That, and it also wouldn’t be helpful. So for either her cowardice or forward-thinking, she decided she wouldn’t kill the Marleyan officials.
It was during the prisoners’ executions that she was able to slip away. One glance below the rocky terrain showed her a sight she never thought she’d see. The vast expanse of sand made her feel small. She couldn’t even see the walls from this distance. But she knew it was only straight ahead. A sudden strike of electricity alerted her, and a blood-curdling cry came from the man-turned-titan. A woman’s pleas rang through her ears, calling out a name Vega was sure belonged to the poor creature. She turned away from the wall and lept down the rocky cliff.

She was fortunate that it was the Warhammer her family had inherited. Any other of The Nine would have been discovered during their transformation, but there was a little-known secret that her power held. It was difficult to master, but she’d seen her mother execute it flawlessly several times growing up. Channeling the energy of the
transformation into the palm of your hand was an ability exclusive to the Warhammer. Not many could succeed in executing it, and with this being her first transformation, there was a chance she’d screw it up. Her mission was contingent on her being able to control this strike.
But before she could even worry about that, she needed to make the wound.
How would she do it? Each transformation was unique. Typically it involved the hands, but something told her that that wasn’t right. Her mother had been discreet in hers, so she’d never seen how she did it. Was it something in the mouth? Did she have some sort of metal shilling? She’d never thought to ask. But she didn’t have anything besides the knives on her person, and that would only make a mess. She’d rather limit the amount of evidence left behind in case she was unsuccessful.

As barbaric as it was, she’d have to bite herself. And it’d have to be her tongue. That was the only way to make a wound and leave no evidence behind. It would hurt, but she was prepared for it.
There was another bolt of lightning. She needed to act quickly before there were too many of them. Vega swallowed her fears as she bit down. In the same instant, she brought up her hand, forcing her strength into her palm. An intense shock rattled her arm, and she whimpered through gritted teeth. Her transformation was successful. The muscle wrapped itself around her, coating itself in armor as white as snow. She had done it, and without being noticed too. She was doing this. She was making it to Paradis.
She still felt dirty as she traipsed through the woods, though the white exoskeleton of her titan form was pure and untarnished. She was exhausted, and everything felt slightly hazy, like she was halfway between the realms of wake and sleep. It was definitely not healthy to spend so long in this form as such a novice shifter, but she didn’t particularly fancy giving up the Warhammer to some drooling pure titan at the moment, so she forced herself to endure. Nonetheless, Vega felt about a millisecond away from dropping, so when she first began to hear the sound of distant voices shouting, she naturally dismissed it outright as a symptom of acute sleep deprivation. But the voices grew louder as she approached what appeared to be a worn dirt path in the middle of the forest. It couldn’t be her mind playing tricks on her. There was a cloud of dust rising in the distance, and it appeared a herd of animals was approaching. What could they be running from?
Vega started in shock as she watched the tiny forms of people in green cloaks jump between trees, not unlike flying squirrels but for the thick wire cables shooting from their hands. As the horses raced down the path, kicking up the loose dirt under their hooves, Vega watched as a handful of the riders suddenly stood up in their saddles, anchoring their own cables into the trees above before shooting upward to join the flying squirrels. None of the horses seemed to find this behavior odd, staying on pace with the herd as they continued down the path. Briefly, they fell out of view, obscured by the trees. Then, she felt the thundering of giant footsteps that were not hers. Titans. Surely they could feel the vibrations of the incoming titans, so why would they be running toward the danger? As soon as they reached the foot of the trees the people were standing in, the crazy motherfuckers leapt down, engaging the beasts with their twin blades.

Vega fell back, obscuring herself behind the foliage as she observed these strange, clearly insane people. She was sure that the Eldians of Paradis still had the king’s walls; big ones, too. So why in the hell would they voluntarily choose to fight the cannibalistic beasts? And with nothing but swords and circus harnesses to protect themselves! She watched one caped form slice the achilles of a 7-meter-tall titan before another swooped in from above to cut the nape of its neck, letting out something between a war-cry and a whoop. A woman revealed herself, slicing through the flesh of the creature without hesitation.

“That’s another one down!” she cried. It was a triumphant call, her blade raised high into the air. Vega felt mesmerized by her confidence. This was such a new concept to her—flying into no man’s land to fight an enemy you had no chance in beating. They had to know they wouldn’t succeed like this. And yet, she was awe-struck.
The figure landed on a tree branch across from Vega, adjusting her goggles before diving back into the fray. Despite their highly specialized equipment and clear experience, they were still losing. Badly. The sad part was that there really weren't even that many titans. The Marleyan army had been known to deploy more than a hundred pure titans in a single aerial assault, but Vega barely counted two dozen here. Though she had to hand it to them, she had never seen a group of soldiers look so fearless, even as they stared down the literal jaws of death.

She felt a strange sort of kinship with these people and their warrior’s spirit. They had had everything taken from them, confined to a glorified cage at the whims of greedy, powerful men, and yet they were still fighting, still seeking more. She began to feel oddly protective over these strange, innocent souls as she watched them get slaughtered by a mere handful of mindless beasts. There was an inherent beauty to their ignorance. But there’d be no ignorance left if they were all dead. She sighed in annoyance as she realized she couldn’t just leave them to die here in the wilderness, brave and nameless.

Vega braced her tired muscles as she darted out of the underbrush, grabbing hold of the nearest titan and ripping its head from its body, oversized teeth still clenched around the leg of a screaming woman. She cast aside the corpse as the head came down, finding her next target to her right.
“What the hell is that thing?! An abnormal?!”
“It just killed that seven meter!”
She heard several shouts as the people around her spotted the strange new threat and began to warn their comrades. Many were panicked, and Vega could only imagine what they must have been feeling. But she couldn’t spare them any time, and they’d never get an explanation, the poor things. So she made a silent apology to them before tearing into another titan.
As she tore out another titan’s neck with her teeth, she saw a small, spinning figure fly towards her with almost dizzying speed. She didn’t bother to try and stop him as he opened the back of her neck, cracking the hard outer shell with the hilt of his sword before slicing deeper into layers of thick muscle. She had to admit it was a beautifully executed attack, but unfortunately for the angry little man, she had already tucked her fragile human body safely away in the middle of her chest cavity when she transformed; such were the perks of the Warhammer. She almost felt bad for him as she moved on, ripping apart a particularly creepy-looking titan as it attempted to scuttle up a tree toward the stunned soldiers. Many of them seemed to have been left reeling from Vega’s apparent immortality, no others attempting to come after her as she wrecked carnage on the mindless beasts around them.
“What a monster…!”
The squeal of the woman she’d heard earlier was as clear as day. As Vega continued her onslaught, her audience watched on in stunned silence. Really, how had they managed all this time? They were just standing there. Could they fight or not?

“Levi! Wait!” Another slice was made along her neck, lower and deeper this time. Well, at least one of them could move. Although, she wasn’t sure if attacking their only hope at survival was a particularly bright idea. She could understand it though. She was an anomaly, and they probably didn’t have very many of those on this godforsaken island.

Vega could hear the outcry, some of it from horror and some from shock. It felt awkward to her to be such an object of attention here—shredding these poor beasts to bits, their blood spraying against her white frame. She felt almost like the star of the show. She supposed it wasn’t so far off to think of. Arena fighting had been the first form of mass entertainment anyone had ever seen. But this was murder, and she didn’t like the idea of someone glorifying it.

When she was sure none of her monstrous victims were ever going to get back up, Vega glanced around one last time at the bleeding and battered group of batshit crazy tree people before turning on her heel and running as fast as her aching feet could carry her. More than a decade of rigorous warrior training had served her well, but she still barely made it a mile away before collapsing from pure exhaustion, the world going dark before she even hit the ground.

*****
The first thing Vega registered as she woke was the throbbing pain in her head. Her muscles ached from the hard surface she was laying on, and she groaned in pain as she tried and failed to open her eyes even in the dim light. She felt like she had the worst hangover of her entire life; even just the effort of thinking felt like wading through thick syrup.

“Well, look who finally decided to join us. Hope you had a good nap.” said a dry, almost mocking voice in front of her.

Vega’s eyes flew open as she jolted upward, realizing for the first time that she was not alone. After a brief moment of blinding pain behind her eyes, she was able to make out the small stone cell she resided in as well as the two men standing on the other side of the bars. Well, one and a half. It took her only a second to recognize the stunted man to her right. With arms folded and scowl clear, he looked down at her with utter disgust on his face. It was a look Vega wasn’t entirely accustomed to, having been raised as nobility in a society in which everyone hid their disdain behind an indifferent mask. But she weirdly appreciated the bluntness. She knew where they stood.

“Hey, brat. Can you speak or not?” Vega registered his voice as the one she’d heard when she woke up. She blinked slowly, trying to assess her situation. The first order of business was finding out how much they knew, both generally and specific to her misguided attempt at heroism. She knew the king had wiped their memories generations ago, but if they had found her embedded in a steaming titan corpse, there wasn’t much she could do to convince them that she had nothing to do with it. She looked from the tall blonde man to the other and attempted to feign a look of fear. Her muscles ached, so it must have looked disjointed. But they didn’t comment on it if it did.

She tried bringing her hands in front of her, only to realize they were restrained. Fair enough, she reasoned. Even if they didn’t know about her powers, they certainly still saw her as a threat. For now, though, she needed to make them believe she was a damsel in distress.
“W-where am I?” She attempted to sound confused and disoriented. She knew from years of experience dealing with powerful men that playing dumb was often an excellent strategy to fall back on when cornered.

“Yes, you must be confused,” the blonde started, “You’ve been brought into the custody of The Survey Corps.” His voice was smooth as he spoke, his smile as practiced as hers. “Our captain here found you outside the walls.” His hand motioned to the man beside him, and it took Vega only that instant to piece together who her assailant had been. She also didn't miss the upward inflection in the man’s tone as he mentioned ‘outside the walls’ , but really couldn’t she ask what they were doing out there? If it was just so unheard of? Honestly, the hypocrisy.

“I do apologize that we couldn’t prepare better accommodations for you. But as it is a crime to go beyond the walls, we cannot let you go without an explanation. Would you mind telling us your story?” His words carried a softness to them meant to endear her toward him. But she knew of the venom laced between sugar-coated words. He would not be getting what he was used to from her. She almost pitied him.
There was a noticeable length of silence between the three of them. Eyebrows only watched her expectantly, smugly. The Captain, conversely, was scowling at Vega with a look of blatant distrust and maybe even a bit of dislike. Apparently, she had offended the freakishly quick little man that had tried to kill her in the forest by – not dying, and he had retaliated by kidnapping her. Oh, well. No good deed went unpunished, she supposed. The pair of them were honestly a bit jarring together, but it was clear to Vega that the blonde one was in charge here. She looked him in the eyes as she attempted her best approximation of a damsel in distress.

“I’m sorry sir, but I really couldn’t tell you. I honestly can’t seem to remember much of anything at all.” She widened her eyes in an endeavor to look sweet, innocent, and not at all like a ravenous beast that had just slaughtered more than a dozen man-eating monsters with her bare hands. If they hadn’t seen her inside of her titan body, she just might be able to get away with the amnesia act. Surely they would still torture her at some point just to be sure, but her father had been quite thorough in her education; pain would not break her. The man’s eyes narrowed slightly, but he kept the same neutrally agreeable expression as he nodded. Beside him, the Captain scoffed under his breath. Ah, so they were not in fact buying her little performance. Good to know. At least Blondey was polite enough not to say so out loud.

“Well, that is quite unfortunate. Then we can start small. Do you remember your name?” He said it so encouragingly, like a parent would to a child. She felt infantilized, and a part of her wanted to bite back. But this was no time to get defensive. As far as they were concerned, she was just a frail girl…Ah, she understood now.
“You see, the forest girl is a fitting title. But if I could, I’d much rather use a more familiar moniker.” Vega took a moment to mull over what the implications of forfeiting such information would be. Her last name was absolutely out of the question, but she supposed there was no harm in introducing herself. After all, she was trying to play nice – for now.

“Vega,” she said simply. Goldilocks raised an abnormally bushy eyebrow, “Just Vega.” She responded to the question he didn’t ask. The Captain tilted his head slightly at this response, as if it intrigued him.

“Can I ask your name, or shall I have to continue to refer to you as Blondey?” She asked dryly, growing tired of being scrutinized. Blondey chuckled a bit at that while the Captain remained irritatingly impassive. She looked at the two of them expectantly as the leader seemed to weigh his options. The silence dragged on for a moment before he smiled indulgently.

“Commander Erwin Smith, and my quiet companion here is Captain Levi.” She’d do well to remember their names. Whatever rank system they had here, it seemed Smith was above Levi. He did the talking, and he had control. As much as she didn’t want to admit it, she was in a tough position here. She was quite literally shackled by the wrists. She could play mind games all she wanted, but as long as she was their prisoner, she was nothing more.

Erwin went on to ask another dead end question. It was clear he was testing the waters, trying to make her forget that she had forgotten everything. But her lips were sealed. With each line that came from his mouth, she gave a curt response. She said as little as possible, and kept it as vague as possible. She felt as the discussion rolled on that it was just a revolving circle; they always landed back where they had begun. How many times could she possibly rephrase, “I don’t remember anything,” without showing her boredom?

At a certain point, she began to question the creativity of the people here. But she was made to eat her own words when after another long pause, the Commander called for someone. Cautiously, Vega eyed the newcomer—a rookie soldier by the looks of it. He seemed scared out of his wits as he came into view of the cell. She found the reaction oddly refreshing. It broke free the stifling atmosphere. And it gave her back a piece of the control she felt she had lost, knowing she was still someone to fear.
“Bring in Section Commander Hange,” the Commander relayed. The jittery man gave a salute, throwing his fist to his chest. “Y-yes, sir!” And Vega knew that as he ran back to where he had come from, she’d never see him again. But that mattered none. She was intrigued by this newly introduced character—this Section Commander Hange. Given the fact that the Commander could summon her at a moment’s notice, that too was a title beneath his. More than likely, it was also a tier that outranked Captain. You didn’t usually climb down the ladder of possible interrogators.
She was interested to see how this would play out. The Commander stood silently as they waited for the Section Commander to arrive, hands clasped in front of him. He had a self-assured air about him, as if he was about to play the trump card that would make her give up everything he wanted to know. She assumed this person must be meant to intimidate her. Hell, Vega could be about to meet her torturer. The Commander had certainly seemed to hit a wall with just talking to her.

“Does this mean I finally get to see the forest girl?! Oooh, I want a blood sample so bad, Erwin, you’ve got no idea!”

Vega immediately lost any and all fear within her as a tall, chipper woman with brown goggles perched on her nose bounded into the room and saluted the Commander with her fist, looking like she might combust from excitement. Vega instantly recognized her as the overly-excited flying squirrel she had seen in the forest. Erwin attempted to introduce them, but the Section Commander seemed to barely be listening. Instead, she was practically shoving her head through the bars trying to get a look at Vega, who began to feel a bit like an endangered zoo animal. There was an almost wild gleam in her eye that made Vega reel back, feeling deeply uncomfortable.

“You are so—Agh!” The woman was pulled back by the collar of her jacket. It amazed her the strength that tiny arm carried, and she made a mental note to never put herself in such a situation to be manhandled by him. The Captain held the Section Commander firmly in place, and Vega was almost thankful for the assist when he spoke.
“Hey, don’t startle the thing. Don’t you see how your antics are making it back away?”
If she could, she’d spit on his shoes. But such behavior was beneath her. It was primitive. Something she could see him doing if he had the chance. So instead, she settled on cutting her eyes from him. This Section Commander really was something else.

“Levi~! Not when I’m so close—I can practically taste it !” Now, that comment did raise concern, for everyone it seemed. But Vega could only think, “Taste what?” She was too scared to say it out loud. If this was torture, she wasn’t sure if she was any match for the crazed woman. They didn’t practice this technique back in Marley.

“This is one of our Section Commanders, Hange Zoe. She’ll be taking over your questioning,” the Commander said. His hand found the Captain’s shoulder, nudging him away from the lunatic in question – who looked thrilled about this new development. Ah, they were leaving them here alone. Lovely.

“Don’t you worry, Erwin! I’ll take great care of our guest!” She gave him a fisted salute, and then turned a wicked grin on Vega as soon as he was out of sight. Hange reached into a pocket on the side of her vest, pulling out a small sketchbook with a flourish. She opened it to a rushed but frighteningly detailed drawing of a Warhammer titan. No, of Vega’s Warhammer titan. Something told her that this was it—this was what she was. And it horrified her. Her reaction was unrestricted. There was no containing the shock, disgust, guilt, and shame. It all swirled into one expression, plastered openly on her face as she stared at the sketch.

You never think about what you look like to other people, especially when you become a fifteen meter monstrosity and then commit about twenty murders. Vega felt angry at herself for never having considered what she may have looked like in that moment. But she hated the sight of it. Why? Why did they have to record her like that? Of all the portraits she’d sat for, of all the photos her face was in, none had ever made her feel as connected to the work as this did. It made her skin itch. She was reminded of the burning sensation over her hands in the storage room, and she had the urge to scratch—

“What…what is that thing…?”
It was all that would come out. Her conflicting emotions, which swayed from grief to acute rage, found their way together. And the pure shock was written on her face. A part of her didn’t want to believe that that was her. She looked…so much like her mother.
“Oooh, I’m so glad you asked!” She was certain this woman had been sent in to torture her by now. This heartache was raw. She was not ready to digest this. She wanted desperately to ask for a moment alone , but what right did she have here to ask for that? And where would she go? She was trapped here, about to suffocate.

The Section Commander did not relent. “This fine specimen appeared out of seemingly nowhere! It’s some new kind of abnormal, and it seemed to be completely indifferent to us humans! It was so beautiful I just had to have it sketched!” She threw her arms up with apparent excitement, excitement Vega did not share. Specimen. Beautiful. It.

And the flattery didn’t stop there. No, she would have to hear everything. The tearing of flesh, the splattering of blood—vivid pictures outlined for her to consume. And she did. She tried desperately to get the words out, to ask her to stop. But she was so choked up that she couldn’t.
“And then we found you! All in the same day! What do you make of that?!”
Hange’s arms slammed against the iron bars of the cell, bringing Vega back. She felt nauseous. She needed water.
No. She didn’t deserve water.
“I-” Vega’s voice broke, “I don’t know. I don’t remember anything.” The words came out breathless and strangled. Vega’s head swam and she felt a bit like she was going to pass out. The Section Commander looked her up and down with an analytical gaze as Vega’s chest stuttered slightly, tremors jumping in her fingertips.

“Right…sure.” Hange said skeptically, before abruptly switching gears, “What I’m really interested in at the moment is how you managed to survive out there long enough for Levi to find you, especially with hoards of titans around. Originally, I thought it might have to do with smell, but Miche nixed that one, so now my bets are on blood type. What do you say? Want to give me a vial and find out?!”

Hange had regained that half-mad gleam in her eyes as she spoke, gesturing emphatically as her voice rose. The unexpected change in topic allowed Vega to regain some semblance of composure, enough for something the Section Commander said to jump out at her.

“ Hoards of titans?”

It almost sounded laughable to Vega to refer to less than thirty pure titans as ‘hoards’, but Hange was suddenly serious as the grave as she hung her head. “Yeah…they totally swarmed us. We were trying to map out the southern territory and suddenly they were just everywhere, on all sides. We were sitting ducks – barely even got the cartographers out in time. But it still cost us a lot of good people.”

That made Vega feel kind of uncomfortable to be honest; the idea that the woman in front of her had known every one of those broken, bleeding soldiers in the forest personally. Had cared for them. But there was also something else that stood out to her as odd in Hange’s account.

“Wait – why were the cartographers with you? Didn’t you know your group would attract the titans?”

Hange looked at her as if she had just asked why the sky was orange. “Where else would we put them?”

Vega considered. She really didn’t need Blondey and his bizarre band of suicidal maniacs asking any more questions about her familiarity with titan behavior. But she was also kind of stunned. A hundred years, an entire dedicated military branch, and weapons that doubled as flying machines and yet they hadn’t once thought of luring the stupid creatures with bait? Really, she felt almost obligated to throw them a bone here.

“Well…have you tried using a misdirect?” The Section Commander blinked at her uncomprehendingly. “You know, use a small stealth team to guard the assets and have the rest of your soldiers lure the titans away? Cluster them in a contained area while the cartographers work?”

Hange looked somewhere between helplessly intrigued, disbelieving, and vaguely ill. “You want us to…use our own people as bait for titans?”

Yeah, duh . Vega thought but didn’t say. Hearing it out loud like that did make it sound a bit cold, but she had seen generals back in Marley utilize similar tactics against foreign adversaries with startling efficiency. And they had always obtained results. She shrugged noncommittally, “Might be worth a shot if you still want to get those maps finished.”

Hange tilted her head, adjusting her glasses as she studied Vega with narrowed eyes. Now this was a look she was intimately familiar with: reevaluation . It was at that precise moment that Vega realized she may have overplayed her hand here. The Section Commander took a step backward, eyes still locked on Vega’s, before turning and racing out of the room.

Vega was given a long time to wonder what that could possibly mean.

*****

She counted the days by meals, as there was no sunlight in the damp stone cell. A part of her was grateful for the privacy. These people clearly hadn’t developed cameras yet, so with the exception of the twitchy recruits that dropped off her meals in silence twice a day, Vega was left alone to have her mental breakdown in peace. And break down she did. She paced back and forth, wept bitterly into her pillow, pulled at her hair, scratched at her skin, hit the walls again and again. She touched her lips tenderly to her delicate gold locket, clutching it tightly to her chest. Then she threw it across the room in anger. She sat down on the floor, pulled her knees to her chest, and sobbed in raw grief. The one thing she did not allow herself to do was scream. She would not give these people the satisfaction. Her tears were not for them.

Vega wished desperately that she could see the stars. That she could trace her mother’s shape in the sky, find her brother in the bushel of the bull’s tail, and know some semblance of peace. She hadn’t slept since she killed her mother, unless you counted her bouts of unconsciousness. Vega didn’t. She didn’t have to dream when she was unconscious.

On day six of this, Vega had visitors. She was curled up in the fetal position on the thin mattress in the corner of her cell when she heard the door open, two sets of boots walking in before stopping in front of the bars. And of fucking course it was them. The wonder twins stood wordlessly in front of her until she tiredly sat up, raising her gaze to acknowledge them.

“Apologies, gentlemen. If I’d have known I was having company today, I would have done up my hair for the occasion,” She said dryly.

As it stood, her hair situation was bordering on catastrophic, dark curls tangled and unruly. If her father could see her now, he would be absolutely horrified. The thought made her giggle. Commander Smith gave her an odd look. Ah, yes, that would be the sleep deprivation. Vega knew she should have at least tried to get some rest; going through another interrogation with her rational thinking impaired spelled disaster in glowing neon letters. But, honestly, she didn’t want to sleep. She was scared of what she would find there.

The Commander raised a bushy eyebrow while the Captain looked at her in distaste, as if she were the strangest creature he had ever encountered. Which, really, was rich coming from someone who wore a cravat in this day and age. The Commander seemed to decide not to comment on her odd behavior, just as he ignored what Vega was sure were numerous reports about her mild nervous breakdown in isolation. Instead, he said the absolute last thing she ever would have expected.

“Your strategic assistance on our most recent expedition proved invaluable. We were able to successfully complete a rough map of all currently explored lands surrounding Shiganshina district with minimal casualties,” His sharp gaze bored into her as he spoke, likely noting her lack of recognition for the name. “I believe you could prove to be a valuable asset to the Survey Corp. For that reason, we are prepared to overlook your crime in return for official enlistment into the Scout Regiment. If you accept, you will be placed under the supervision of Captain Levi as well as submit to comprehensive panel testing under Section Commander Hange.”

Vega was floored.

So that was what they had been doing all this time? Actually using the strategy she had given them, to apparent great success? She had no delusions that he was freeing her just so she could aid them as a tactician, but he had obviously decided she would be more useful under the guise of cooperation.

The Commander said all of this with a self-assured air, as if it was simply a formality. Which it was. This was a man used to getting his way; Vega had seen his type countless times before. She knew she would have no choice but to accept his offer in the end; after all, powerful men know when they have all the power. But she just wanted to poke at him a bit first.

“And if I refuse?” she asked, arching an eyebrow.

The Commander’s lips tipped up, as if he had expected this answer, “Then we will have no choice but to hand you off to the custody of the Military Police.”

Vega had no idea who the hell the Military Police were, but it wasn’t like she could tell him that. The Commander stood in calm silence as he waited for her answer, looking oh so pleased with himself. She looked to his side, at the Captain who still wore that same bored, impassive look on his face. Fuck it , Vega thought. If nothing else, this should be entertaining.

“Alright, fine, I’ll join your little club. Has to be more exciting than this,” she said casually, as if it made no difference to her. And it didn’t really, in the end. At least this way, she would be able to look out for these people while she waited for the children of her homeland to come and try to kill them all.

As the Captain led her to her new room in the complex, she remained silent, studying him. For someone daring enough to jump on the back of a 15-meter-tall killing machine, he sure was stoic. She wondered idly what it would take for her to crack that calm facade.

The second they reached her room, she shut the door in his face and immediately located the nearest window. She was a little offended that they hadn’t even bothered to bar it, but the feeling was outweighed by her desperate desire to see the sky again.

As Vega climbed onto the roof, feeling the cold bite of the wind on her bare skin, she tilted her head up and felt breathless with wonder. There were just so many stars here. They twinkled brightly in the dark abyss, as if welcoming her home. She instantly found Atlas, tucked at the top of the Taurus constellation as he had always been, and felt something loosen in her chest as she sighed wistfully. She looked for her mother next, remembering the story of her constellation bitterly. She felt the pinprick of tears behind her eyes, but did not let them fall. For the first time since she last saw the stars in Liberio, she felt peace.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Levi looked over at her, resting back on her hands as she gazed up at the night sky, something akin to wonder sparkling in her eyes. Eyes that, until now, had looked wary, guarded, distrustful even, despite her feigned ignorance. He wasn’t sure what she was doing out here, in this quiet, serene darkness that only he usually occupied. It was a clear night, pitch black with the moon looming bright overhead. She didn’t say a word, though they both knew he was there, watching her. For a moment, when the starlight reflected on her eyes just so, he could have sworn he saw a glimpse of little red pigtails, a flash of a crooked smile.

But just then, she turned her head and met his eye. Ah. There’s those walls again. Levi was familiar with walls; great stone columns and unforgiving stretches of impenetrable grey. Vega’s walls were different; a fortress of sharp ice and blood lay beneath the surface of her deep blue eyes. He didn’t buy that horseshit about her somehow having magically wandered into that fucking forest of nightmares, much less survived unconscious on the forest floor until he just so happened upon her. No, people without memory didn’t have that kind of hardness in their eyes. He should know.

Levi wasn’t like Erwin; mysteries pissed him off. He palmed his dagger and crossed the roof in smooth strides, pressing its blade to the soft skin of her throat as he glared down at her. The girl didn’t even twitch as the cold steel met her flesh; she just locked him with that icy stare, as if daring him. That unnerved him a bit if he’s honest, the brazen set of her jaw. It was a look he knew well, but not one he had ever seen under the blanket of moonlight. He felt his curiosity grow, like an itch he couldn’t scratch. Fuck it, fine. He gave up.

“What the hell are you doing out here? It’s the middle of the damn night.”

She tipped her head back up to the night sky, forcing him to pull away to avoid cutting into her neck, “I’m looking for my family,” she said, almost wistfully.

“Yeah? Well they’re sure as hell not up there,” Levi said even as he sat down beside her. He rested his elbows on his knees, dagger still gripped in his hand – just to make sure she didn’t try anything cute. He begrudgingly cast his eyes to the twinkling sky, as if he might unlock the mystery of her in the patternless spatter of stars.

It’s silent for a long moment before – so quiet he wasn’t sure he'd even really heard it, “I know.”

They sat like that for a while, watching the waning half moon make its slow trek across the sky. There was something almost peaceful in the open night, chill cutting through the fabric of his uniform shirt. Vega sat still and content as the wind rustled her hair, playing around her bare shoulders. She had to be cold in that thin linen shift, but her gaze remained fixed on some point he couldn't see, high in the northern sky. He spoke again when she finally began to shiver.

“So, you done talking to the stars yet?”

She smiled softly at that one chosen star. “For now,” she said before finally breaking her gaze from the sky and rising to her feet. She didn't spare him another glance as she turned and walked inside.

*****

Vega turned over in bed at the sudden pounding against her door. It jolted her awake, and she wasn’t sure if the cold sweat she felt was from her nightmares or the noise. It could’ve been both, what with the force this man was trying to break her door down with. She peeked through the tangle of sheets to find the golden hue of the sun. It had just risen. Well, at least her night of terror was over. It was time to get the day started. And, with any luck, get this man off her back.

“I’m up, I’m up. Now, get back.” Vega craned her neck to pop the stiffness away before opening the door. Across from her was the Captain, already dressed and donning what she’d now framed as his signature scowl. It seemed someone had woken up on the wrong side of the bed this morning—if he’d slept at all, given the obvious dark rings under his eyes. She made no comment.

“Get dressed. You’re booked with Hange for the day,” he said, tone intently cold. A moment passed between them in which nothing happened. But, with a blink, she’d slammed the door on him and returned to her room, getting ready as instructed. She emerged only a minute later, hair neatly braided back and equipped with a smile. Levi was waiting, arms crossed in front of him. It was clear to her that he wanted their “conversation” from last night to stay buried in the sand. It meant nothing, and she meant nothing. Well, two could play that game.

They walked down the hall in silent agreement that they wouldn’t bring it up. Vega busied herself by studying the interior of the building, marveling at how they could have possibly learned to forge with their limited materials, and to build such magnificent structures at that. It proved to her that these people were intelligent, that they would find a way to persevere. They really did deserve a level of admiration.

And as that thought left her, she thought back to her previous encounter with Hange. She’d met the woman on her first night of interrogation, and she was nothing short of admirable, really. Despite her fervent intensity, or perhaps because of it, the sparkle in her eyes told a story all on its own. And Vega wanted to know that story. So in truth, she was actually kind of excited for today. If things went south, she always had her trump card up her sleeve, but she would only ever use it if her life depended on it.

“So, what should I expect?” Vega asked, wanting to fill the now awkward silence with words. The Captain didn’t answer immediately, and she wondered for a moment if he’d heard her. But as she went to speak again, he quickly shushed her, holding his index finger up to bring her to a halt. The noise that ensued was much more abrupt and fear-inducing than the Captain’s earlier. A loud thud, then a bang, and then what could only be interpreted as a crash was heard. Vega’s eyes grew wide. There wasn’t a titan shifter here, was there?! They couldn’t have known she was here already, right? But what else could explain an explosion if not an enemy attack—?

“Stop,” came the voice from beside her. An arm kept her still, and she forced herself to comply. She couldn’t go in blind even if it was the enemy. She needed a game plan—

“

That

is what you should expect.”

Then, truly just as the cherry on top, a high-pitched, animalistic screech sounded, bouncing off the walls and echoing down the hallway. Vega raised her eyebrows, turning to face the Captain, “And here I thought torture had been taken off the table.” The Captain only clicked his tongue in response. They were stopped just a short distance away from the commotion, and neither made a move further. “Not with Four-Eyes. Never get between a crazy bitch and her research.”

Even though it wasn’t meant to be a well-intentioned warning, she took it as one anyway. She knew a few crazy doctors and scientists back home, or had known some, she supposed. But now was not the time to dwell on the past. Vega walked cautiously up to the closed door and eased it open as the Captain watched with a faintly amused expression. The first thing she registered was that something was on fire. The next was the smell of burning hair. And, to boot, the apparent ‘crazed bitch’ in question was dowsing a man’s hair with buckets of water. Vega could only stare in awe at the scene unfolding before her.

“More water! We need more water!”

A soldier ran past the two of them, not even taking note of their presence. Vega turned to the Captain, humor in her tone. “Is now a bad time?”

She glanced back at Section Commander Hange who was now craning her head over the poor guy, the flames seemingly only getting more powerful as she adjusted her glasses. “Maybe if you rub your head on the ground, we can smother them!”

The Captain crossed his arms and leaned back against the wall, as if all of this was simply routine procedure around here. The poor soul on the ground continued screaming, but now he had also begun to rub at his head and bang it against the ground in a panic. Finally, the soldier reemerged, water splashing wildly from the bucket in their hands. They threw it over the screaming man, drenching the crazy woman above him in the process. A gasp, then a pause. The man got up on his hands and knees, sputtering.

“...S-Section Commander—”

“Ye-ah! We did it!”

The Captain cleared his throat behind them and the woman turned, her eyes shining like a mad scientist. “LEVIII! I made Moblit’s hair explode! Isn’t that

fascinating

?!” She waved her hands wildly as she gestured to the man on the floor, hair still smoking slightly.

“Yes, very impressive, Four-Eyes, you blew up your lab assistant. Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to start dissecting this brat already before you end up having to get a new one.” His eyes met the fear-stricken ones of the Section Commander’s assistant.

“Oh, right!” Hange exclaimed, now turning that half-mad look of excitement towards Vega as Moblit dropped unceremoniously back onto the ground with a groan. “Hi-ya there! I have been just

waiting

to get a blood sample on you; maybe then I can finally figure out why you aren’t dead yet!” As she spoke, the Section Commander guided Vega onto one of the few upright chairs left in the lab, completely ignoring the chaos around her as well as a dazed Moblit still just lying on the floor. Vega opted not to bring it up because, honestly, he looked kind of relieved to have Hange’s special brand of attention off of him for a moment.

Now, Vega was no stranger to needles; she’d had blood taken dozens of times in her life, especially in training for the Warhammer. So really, this whole thing should have been a piece of cake. But all she could see when the Section Commander pulled out the IV Catheter was the horror on Atlas’s face as she ripped the syringe from her father’s hands; all she could hear were his screams. And when she felt the slight pinch of the needle entering her arm – right where she had pierced herself that fateful day – she cried out as flashes of memory began to assault her. The sound of her mother’s neck crunching between her jaws. The warm feeling of blood running over her hands. She was wild, vicious,

powerful.

Her mother hadn’t even transformed to fight her, she’d just knelt there on the frozen dias and let it happen. Vega still wasn’t even sure if her mother was the only person she’d killed that night; there was just

so much blood

.

Vega jerked violently as she screamed, toppling her chair over as she fell backwards. She jolted up quickly, breathing ragged and uneven as her eyes darted around in panic. The Captain stepped forward, fluidly shifting his body in front of Hange as he raised a hand with his palm forward, as if calming a wild animal. Which, fair. Vega felt a bit unstable at the moment. He met her eyes, calm and steady as he patiently waited for her to catch her breath. Once she had settled down a bit, he lowered his hand slowly, glancing back at the Section Commander who still clutched the IV Catheter in her hand, staring at Vega with a mixture of concern and burning curiosity.

Sweat was rolling down Vega’s face. Her chest was tight, and her head was reeling. Whatever had just happened, her body did not like it. What did happen? Was it an instinctive response? Maybe—maybe it was the threat of attack that set her off. Her instincts were all over the place at the moment; she felt unsteady, and her skin felt too tight around her bones.

“Hey, brat,” a voice sounded from above her. She halted all movement, all attempts to breathe, and she felt scared. A very slow blink allowed her to regain some control of her eyes, and she met those of the Captain. She wasn’t afraid of him. Was she? The glint in his eyes was a cautionary one, and she did feel intimidated. But she wasn’t

scared

of him. She couldn’t be.

“I—I need a moment.”

Vega flew to her feet and moved toward the door. A hand grazed her shoulder, but she brushed it off before it could grab her. The hallway was open and empty, and many doors led to an easy exit. Turning to where she’d come from, she started for the roof. She could get there from her bedroom window. No one would suspect—

“Hey, don’t run off like that,” the same gruff voice alerted her. Now the hand was firmly grasping her shoulder, nails digging into the sensitive flesh. Her face scrunched in a moment of shock before she attempted to jerk away from him. His hold was firm, though, letting her know that she wasn’t getting away. Her breathing grew more erratic, whole body trembling faintly as she turned to meet his gaze with practiced indifference. “I apologize for my outburst, Captain. Please allow me to gather my thoughts before we continue.”

They stood there, locked in an intense stare, both knowing something that remained unspoken between them. She hated that he knew. He understood something about her that she didn’t quite yet, and she desperately needed to get away from him. She pulled away again, and to her relief her shoulder was much lighter. It took only a few seconds for her to find her room. She didn’t bother to check for the Captain. He wouldn’t follow her after letting her go; that much she understood.

With a soft thud, her door slammed shut, and her feet took her to the window. She pushed up the glass pane, feet finding purchase on the sill as she turned and took hold of the wooden beams above her.
She pushed herself up on her arms and climbed onto the roof, standing as she tilted her face toward the sun. She steadied her breathing, mind combing through the events that had just occurred. She fell back, gently this time, trying to make sense of it. Her hands pressed against the cool plates of the roof tiles, giving her something new to focus on.

She’d run out in such a hurry she hadn’t grabbed her coat. But it didn’t matter; the sharp winds woke her up. Vega breathed in the bitterly cold air as she shook herself, mentally berating herself for looking so vulnerable in front of people so unknown. Especially that Captain; he always seemed to look at her as if he had her all figured out. It unnerved her. She elected to spend the morning here, since the only thing for her to do was act as a lab rat for the Section Commander’s experiments, and there was no way in hell that she was going back in there after what she saw.

She knew that she had this moment alone when the Captain never showed. He knew this was where she was at. He was the only one, and he could have very well told someone about her whereabouts. But he hadn’t. She appreciated that about him, and silently thanked him for granting her this moment’s peace.

Maybe they all thought she’d hole herself in her room, that she would corner herself. No one sane would go out into this freeze without protection and with nowhere to go. And they all knew she had nowhere to go. But here, she was free. The calming silence and frigid air made her acutely aware of herself. One deep breath in, and out.

She had just managed to still the tremors in her hands when she heard a muffled rapping noise coming from the open window below her. She sighed in aggravation as she accepted that her brief respite had come to an end. Vega clambered back down through the window, perhaps a bit carelessly for someone more than ten stories above the ground, but what was the worst that could happen? She could fall and die? Oh no, the horror.

The rapping against her door continued until she opened it to find the Captain with his trademark look of bored irritation. She countered it with a matching look of her own. He took in her disheveled, but composed, appearance. “Erwin wants to speak with you,” He said as he turned and began to walk down the hall, not even bothering to check if she was following him. She did, of course, but she spent the whole way there thinking about tripping him.

*****

Golden sunlight beamed in through the office window, thrown hazy in a cloud of steam as the Commander poured a cup of tea before handing it to her with a pleasant expression on his face. Always so pleasant, this one, even as he controlled every room with a twitch of those unnaturally large eyebrows.

He settled in behind his desk still wearing that same pleasant expression, but his eyes were sharp and exacting. Vega had met enough politicians in her life to know when someone wanted something from her; desperately wanted it. “So, Vega, how are you settling in here? I know the layout can be a bit confusing for the recruits.”

Vega smiled her politician's smile as she sipped her tea. “Well, it's a good thing I’m not a recruit then, Commander. Despite first impressions, I’m not typically such a poor navigator.”

“Ah, of course. You’ll forgive the error; I truly have never had such an introduction before. Though, I will say that you have already proved an excellent strategist. You solved our little cartography issue quite nicely.”

He didn’t phrase it as a question, but she heard it, nonetheless. Those piercing blue eyes cut into her even as he sipped his tea oh so casually, so

pleasantly

. She knew that he was attempting to endear himself to her but honestly, she preferred the Captain’s bluntness and harsh exterior. Falsity exhausted her. Which might be hypocritical, but who was she to say? She was honestly still kind of shocked that the people of Paradis had never thought to use their own as bait for pure titans, but perhaps that spoke more to her Marleyan bred cruelty than to a failing on the Commander’s part.

“Well, they are rather single-minded creatures, titans.” Vega said over the rim of her cup, still smiling gently, as if she was in total control of the situation, “I’ve found that such an obsession can often be a fatal weakness.”

The Commander’s eyes narrowed at that, his politician’s expression falling off of his face as he regarded her shrewdly from across the desk. It was a bold move on her part – being so forward about the game they were playing. But she honestly could not stand one more moment of his bland, placating manner. It just felt a little too familiar, a little too similar to the carefully calculated aristocratic pretenders of her childhood. Vega wanted to poke at him. She wanted to see him crack.

“I was informed of the incident in Hange’s lab this morning; I do hope you’re alright.” Ah, there it was – the real reason she was here. The Commander had finally decided to stop beating around the bush. She was glad; it meant she had struck a nerve.

Unfortunately, this was the absolute

last

thing Vega wanted to talk about right now. She felt like she could still taste the coppery tang of blood in her mouth, still hear her ears ring from Atlas’s terrified shrieks. But she could not lose her composure here, not with the Commander so eager to sink his teeth into her. To hold the same emotional leverage that she had obtained by figuring out how desperate he was to learn her secrets. She kept her face carefully indifferent, even as her lungs grew tight in her chest. She painstakingly concentrated on keeping her hands steady as she slowly sipped her tea, casting around for any explanation for her behavior as she cursed her earlier weakness.

“Yes, I do apologize for my outburst,” she said regretfully as she placed the cup back down on its saucer, “I never have been very good with needles.”

Vega could have sworn she saw his eye twitch. The Commander wasn’t an idiot, he had to see post-traumatic stress responses a hundred times a day in this line of work. She wondered if he would have the guts to ask her about it outright
– she could tell the man was used to getting what he wanted out of people, and her evasive answers had to be edging him toward a veritable conniption. Well, too bad for him; Vega had dealt with far more powerful men with far greater ability to truly hurt her. The Commander would just have to learn to live with the disappointment.

“We’ll be sure to keep note of that to avoid future incidents,” he replied simply. Vega had to bite her tongue, because of course he’d record it. She knew very well how any moment of vulnerability was used to manipulate and control. That was precisely why she had left in such a hurry. At least the Captain had the decency to let her go. No, this Commander was irritating her.

“Your concern is appreciated. But I promise I will not do anything to worry you further.”

Translation:

You will never get to see me slip up again.

The Commander hummed thoughtfully, no longer pretending to care about whatever trauma she’d endured. They both knew she wasn’t falling for it. She at least had the satisfaction of knowing she was messing with him, forcing him to show his cards as they flipped. If that was all she would take from him, then she’d take as much as she could.

He poured himself another cup of tea, and the clattering of the porcelain dishware provided the right distraction to move onto a new matter. “I did wonder if perhaps the incident had triggered something. A memory, possibly.” He was now asking, apparently, if she remembered anything new. Hadn’t she already explained to him that this approach wouldn’t work?

“Perhaps a family or a home? I assure you we’d love nothing more than to reunite you with them,” he elaborated. Oh. Oh, she saw what his aim was now. If he couldn’t trigger her with a needle, he’d do it through his words. He knew that being alone, in that titan-infested abyss, she’d have some qualms regarding home. And he thought that while she was sensitive, she would crack. But what a fool he was. Unbeknownst to him, he had hit a bit too close to the mark this time, and she was done being vulnerable. Now, she was irate.

“No, unfortunately. I can’t recall a thing.”

The conversation stagnated after that. Vega could play the game when she wanted to, but she was also a master at stonewalling. The Commander seemed to gather that she had clammed up for good this time as his prodding met only bored indifference. Eventually she was dismissed, but not before he got a few last words in.

“It’s been a pleasure, Vega. We’ll speak again soon.”

She wasn’t sure whether or not he meant for that to sound like a threat.

*****

Vega gazed out at the dark, sparkling abyss before her. There was such comfort in the consistency of the constellations. No matter where she was in the world or how much she changed, she would always look up to find the exact same stars arranged into the same configurations. It was a welcome reminder of the vast indifference of the universe when her own little life felt so overwhelming.

Atlas never understood the stars the way that Vega did. When she was young, her mother would trace the constellations with her fingertip as she told Vega their stories, and Vega could only stare awestruck, filled with reverence for the endless night sky and all the secrets it held. She never lost that childlike wonderment towards the stars, even as she grew older and the rest of the world slowly lost its magic. When Atlas was finally old enough to join them in their stargazing, he would only complain that the shapes their mother drew in the sky looked nothing like their namesakes.

“That’s not a bull,”

He would say, filled with childish indignation, “

That’s just a fork! I’m named after a fork?!”

The aggravation on his chubby little face was so comical that it would send Vega into hysterics, but their mother would just shake her head fondly and tell him to have some imagination. She had always been so patient with them, so gentle. To this day, Vega had no idea why she would marry someone like their father with his apathetic manner and hairpin-trigger temper. Well, she had some idea, actually. Her mother was heiress to the Tybur legacy, and her father was a noble Lord from an old and powerful family; it had simply been expected of them. But when Vega remembered her mother, she didn’t see the elegant Lady Tybur, hosting galas and luncheons or waving before adoring crowds. She remembered the woman who would sing softly as she brushed and braided Vega’s hair each morning; the woman who told her the story of Orpheus and Eurydice three times in a row one warm summer night because Vega just couldn’t get enough of it.

She was broken from her reverie by a half-amused, half-irritated voice behind her, “I don’t know why we even bothered to give you a bedroom.”

His flat tone was a dead giveaway. The Captain was not one to show enthusiasm, and his words were always blunt and uncaring. Vega hummed to herself in amusement. He was such an interesting character.

“Did I miss a curfew I wasn’t aware of?” Vega asked, leaning back to get a better view of her surroundings. Coming up on her right was the Captain, who perched a few feet away from her on the rooftop. He was dressed in his work clothes still, only with the addition of a cloak this time. After she’d spoken, his expression, as cold and hardened as it was, relaxed into something of a more neutral one. He seemed almost

relieved

about something.

Vega tried to gauge his reaction in the time it took him to respond. What could it mean? She clearly didn’t know this man, but she thought she’d had a decent understanding of his disposition given the time they’d spent together. Always his face had been sinched into a scowl, a frown, or something in between. There was something inauthentic about it now, which was oddly upsetting and even a little unnerving to her. Out of all the people she had met here, The Captain had thus far been the most consistent, even if only consistent in his dislike of her.

“No, of course not, freeze all you like. It makes no difference to me.”

Well obviously it made some difference, or else he wouldn’t have followed her out here. Vega returned her gaze to the stars as she considered. She had genuinely enjoyed the moment they’d shared the night before, and she was grateful to him for letting her go outside of Hange’s lab earlier. Perhaps she was just being paranoid, far too used to the political games of people like her father and the Commander. Now that she thought about it, she hadn’t actually thanked him for earlier. She wondered…

“Thanks, by the way,” Vega said, not breaking her gaze from the line of Orion’s belt, “for this morning.”

And she

definitely

wasn’t imagining how uncomfortable he looked now.

He wasn’t looking at her anymore either, eyes fixed on a star at the bottom of the Leo constellation. Ah, so that was why he was here. Apparently, she was not the only one who had taken notice of her vulnerability last night. She was honestly kind of disappointed. She would have thought the Commander would be smarter than this. Captain Levi was clearly not as experienced in the art of deception as his boss was. For a man normally so good at keeping a straight face, he was being painfully obvious. She almost felt bad for him; the Captain was a soldier, not a politician. That much had been clear to Vega from the beginning.

She watched out of the corner of her eye as he seemed to struggle with himself. She could admit that there really was no casual way to ask someone why they had war flashbacks from getting blood drawn, but honestly, she had given him the perfect opening and the poor man still couldn’t even open his mouth. After a few more moments, in which the Captain looked like he would much prefer for the sky to reach down and swallow him whole, Vega decided to take pity on him.

“The Commander strikes me as a man that enjoys riddles,” she said, now tracing her gaze over the tail of Canis Major. The Captain looked at her then, seeming off-put by the sudden change in topic. Vega cut her eyes to his, “You do not.”

His eyes narrowed, seeming to catch on. “Do you?” he asked cooly.

“I can speak in them when I need to, but I much prefer simple conversation,” she said with a small smile tugging at her lips. Then, conspiratorially, “If you want, we can pretend you grilled me for hours when he asks.”

“Tch.” the Captain replied brusquely, returning his gaze to the sky, now staring somewhere around the middle of Hydrus. Vega continued to smile softly as she went back to stargazing. She wondered idly if the people here even knew what constellations

were

. She genuinely couldn’t imagine going her whole life without their comforting presence.

The two of them sat like that for a while in companionable silence, the Captain presumably taking her up on her offer to forgo his subpar attempt at subterfuge. After a while, Vega’s gaze eventually reached Ursa Major, smile turning bittersweet as she remembered the night she had asked her mother about her own namesake, Callisto. She slowly raised a hand, tracing the bear’s outline with the tip of her index finger.

“What are you doing?” The Captain asked skeptically. Vega giggled a bit as she moved down the curve of its back leg.

“Just talking to the stars,” she replied simply, using his words from the night before.

The Captain rolled his eyes. “You’re obsessed with those things,” he remarked distastefully.

“Well, that’s not very nice,” Vega said, turning to look at him, “They have names, you know.”

He raised an eyebrow at her, as if she had truly lost it this time. And that was saying a lot, considering the scene he had witnessed from her that morning.

“No, they don’t.”

Vega just rolled her own eyes in return, “You know, you have absolutely no imagination.”

The Captain simply scoffed in annoyance and returned to staring determinedly at Leo’s ass. They descended back into calm, tranquil silence as the moon made its slow trek across the sky. Eventually, when Vega began to lose feeling in her extremities, she yawned and stood.

“Well, Captain, it's been a pleasure.” She said as she moved for the edge of the roof. She didn’t bother to look back at him as she grasped the heavy support beam and swung down towards her open window. As she climbed into the dark room below, she passively wondered how on Earth he would attempt to give this report to the Commander. Well, she supposed she’d see the next time the big guy called for her.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Vega never went to high school. Instead, her classroom instruction had consisted of fancy private tutors and elite military strategists who taught her and Atlas from the security of their family’s manor. Objectively, it was a world-class education. Unfortunately, it had not prepared her for the challenge of figuring out where to sit in the cafeteria at lunch.

The Scout Regiment, Vega had come to realize, were a particularly rowdy bunch. Perhaps it was the fact that half of them died every time they went to do their jobs, but they had seemingly decided to forgo table manners in favor of acting like a pack of wild beasts. Vega stood at the edge of the crowd, holding her tray awkwardly as she tried to figure out where she was supposed to eat. She was a murderer, a fugitive, and one of the most deadly military weapons

in the world

, yet she was rendered helpless by the social nightmare of being the new kid at school. As she began to debate the merits of eating in the bathroom like some kind of cliche social outcast, she heard a lively voice call out to her.

“Hey, forest girl!” Vega saw a redheaded girl wave to her from a table to her right, “Over here!”

Vega hesitated, but ultimately decided that

anything

was better than continuing to stand there like a lost puppy. She cautiously approached the table, and the girl moved over to make room for her.

“I’m Petra by the way, and this is Nifa,” the girl across from Petra smiled at Vega nervously, “We’ve heard so much about you. Well, actually they won’t tell us

anything

about you, but even that is news around here.”

Vega gave a reluctant smile in return. The girls seemed pretty young, but at least they weren’t trembling at the sight of her like the kids that had brought her meals in captivity.

“It’s nice to meet you both. And my name is Vega, just so you know.” She decided ultimately that it was fine to sit with them, and she took her seat beside the one named Petra. It didn’t miss her how their eyes gleamed at her, as if she were some prize to be won. She supposed that was to be expected. They could only have been fifteen, if that. And etiquette here was most certainly not the same as in Marley. They didn’t know how to contain the excitement that came with something

new

. They probably didn’t get much of anything new here, either. So she decided to hide her uneasiness so as to not damper the mood.

“So,” Petra started, “How are you adjusting? I know it can be scary.” Neither girl had touched their food yet, but they were clasping their spoons with such iron grips that she almost worried they might break them. Vega found their curiosity amusing. She quickly found that she could not blame them for their blatant objectification. A child couldn’t know any better. And even then, they thought they could

comfort

her.

Seeing the Wings of Freedom emblem on their jackets was only a grim reminder of why they were even here. It felt uncomfortable to look at such a symbol on kids so young, like watching as the candidates back home exchanged their white armbands for yellow. Her smile loosened.

“I’m adjusting well, thank you. I’m certainly never lonely.” She laughed to distract herself from her thoughts. Truly, she hadn’t had a single moment alone since her arrival. The girls would surely interpret it as,

“How could I be scared when I have so many people helping me?”

And it wasn’t the overbearing gaze of her babysitters that frightened her. It wasn’t the unfamiliar environment, nor the lackluster meals. Such petty grievances were beneath her. No, what she had a problem with was their torture methods. She shivered at the thought of being locked in a room with that mad scientist again.

“That’s good to hear.” Petra looked down at her tray then. Vega couldn’t quite transcribe her expression, but it seemed to be a positive reaction. Nifa, too, was all smiles. Really, she’d only been around scowls, frowns, smirks, and crazed grins so long that seeing such an innocent expression was so refreshing. And glancing around the mess hall, Vega knew she’d made the right choice in company. A couple of cadets a few tables down were engaged in an arm wrestling match, another table had decided to fling the distasteful mush from their plates at each other rather than eat it, and one group couldn’t seem to help their rather intense stares her way. She desperately needed some shred of normalcy in this place.

She chuckled to herself. When had she ever experienced

normalcy

?

To them, this was just an average day in Paradis. She was the abnormal. And maybe her whole life had been that way. There really shouldn’t be anything desensitized about inheriting a destructive power through cannibalism. These people were so naive, so perfect.

So perhaps she’d hold off on judging this rowdy crowd for now.

“So—um—is it really true? About you being from the outside?” Nifa piped up. Her voice was shy, like she knew she’d said something she wasn’t supposed to. Petra was aghast, stumbling over her own words to correct whatever mistake Nifa had made. Vega was quick to dismiss her. Yes, in a setting more formal and proper than this that would be ludicrous to ask. But this was the only break time they really had. She could hardly blame them.

“I don’t think I’m allowed to talk about what happened,” she answered curtly. She followed up with an apology, as Nifa was now sullen over the news. They must have really been looking forward to getting their hands on her. Oh, well. It wasn’t like she’d say anything, anyway—the Commander would have a field day if she were to get cozy with his cadets. He was probably hoping she would, when she really thought about it. Why else would she, an anomaly and potential threat, be allowed into the mess hall with rookie soldiers? It was the perfect breeding ground for open, honest conversations.

“It must feel draining not being able to tell anyone about it,” Petra responded. Her tone had shifted to a more somber one. She was pitying her now. In what world was a child fit to pity an adult? Goosebumps ran over Vega’s skin. She did not appreciate the forced maturity these kids were expected to have.

“There isn’t much to be said about it,” Vega reassured. That was a lie. She still hadn’t fully processed the fact that she’d left home in the first place, and now these girls, who couldn’t be much older than Atlas, were interrogating her about showing up in the woods outside Paradis. Hell, if she really thought about it, there was a

lot

to be said. For one, they apparently called this place

The Walls

, the last of humanity. There was a

whole

can of worms to unpack there.

Or maybe she could bring up the fact that what they were really fighting was people. How bone-chilling would that revelation be? But again, she dare not say a word. These people deserved a peaceful, ignorant life. She could stand being the only bearer of truth for their sakes.

“Well,

I’m

going to have all kinds of stories to tell when we get back from the expedition,” Nifa said confidently. That brought Vega up short. She paused with her bread roll halfway to her mouth.

“You two are going out there?” she asked, strained. Yes, they

were

technically soldiers, but based on the skittish recruits that brought Vega her meals in imprisonment, she had assumed that the Commander kept teenagers firmly out of the field.

Petra not-so-subtly kicked her friend under the table. “Yeah, but this will be our first mission out of the cadet corps, so it’s not like we’ll be in the front ranks or anything. They’ve been trying to map out the southern territory for, like,

years

, so now that they finally have, Commander Erwin wants to strike while the iron is hot.”

Vega slowly set the roll back down on her plate, suddenly nauseated. If she had known the Commander was just going to chuck wide-eyed children at those savage beasts, she certainly would have kept her damn mouth shut about how to get around them.

“So, when is your first expedition then?” Vega asked, as casually as she could manage. Hopefully, it was far enough away that she could figure out a way to protect these kids without arousing suspicion. Since she was technically a Scout herself now, she could lull the Commander into a false sense of security and eventually convince him to take her with them. If the man was willing to let fifteen-year-old girls play soldier, surely he wouldn’t object. Then, once they were busy jumping around in the treetops like a bunch of spider monkeys, she could sneak away, transform, and–

“In a week,” Nifa said offhandedly, “But we’ve been here for like two months now waiting to get in on the action, so we’re super prepared.”

Somehow, Vega doubted that, but she was far too polite to say so. Instead, she bit into her stale bread, keeping herself from speaking out of turn. If she were to say what she truly wanted to, they’d most definitely see it as blasphemous. She knew because she’d seen it in the eyes of numerous warrior candidates—the shock and utter disgust at the idea that child soldiers in war was somehow wrong. Her opinion didn’t matter. What did was her actions.

Petra followed up on Nifa’s comment by expressing her own enthusiasm for the chance to fight for “humanity’s hope”. Her eyes sparkled just as they had when Vega had joined them. Her genuine curiosity was hard to contain. It was terrifying and sickening. Vega decided she could no longer eat to keep from talking. She needed some air.

“I’m not feeling too well. Could I be excused—”

She wasn’t able to finish her sentence as the door to the mess hall was thrown open. It hit the stone wall with a thud, and a figure emerged. Vega whipped her head toward the noise, setting her sights on a tall, blonde man dressed in a Scout uniform, steel-gazed. He was silent, but as he walked into the room, attention seemed to naturally divert to him, especially from the unruly teenagers surrounding her. Petra and Nifa were wide-eyed beside her, like they were looking at some kind of personal hero. He seemed to be walking straight towards them, and the closer he got, the more people began looking their way. When he stopped right in front of Vega, she wasn’t sure how she should react.

Everyone around her seemed petrified, unable to breathe even. Given how silent and intimidating he was, she assumed he was someone of importance around here. And he was here to see her.

They locked eyes for a few good moments, neither moving or speaking. Whether or not he was trying to make her feel small, he was being unsuccessful. These people really needed to re-evaluate their methods of interrogation. She spared the girls at her table another glance before deciding to leave them. Whatever business he had with her, it was best they didn’t hear it.

“Am I being summoned?” Vega asked, tone cold and clear. She wanted him to know immediately that he would need to change his approach if he wanted her to cooperate. She was already having to deal with Eyebrows, Short n’ Scowly, and Quirky Mad Scientist Lady. She truly didn’t have enough in her to accommodate another one.

“Yes, come with me,” he answered stoically before turning back around and walking away. And

really

, were the only two options around here emotionally constipated or clinically psychotic? Vega was exhausted already, and it was barely noon. She stood up to follow him out of the hall, casting an apologetic look back at the girls as she went.

As the man stalked wordlessly down the hall, Vega trailing behind him, she felt her irritation grow. Was everyone in this place just allergic to small talk? Being shuffled around like this constantly with no explanation absolutely incensed her. She had never been treated like this before. Whether they liked her or not, everyone back home had known that Vega Tybur was someone of importance, an aristocrat. Was it really so much to ask for them to at least treat her like a

person

?

“So, what, is my usual grouchy babysitter unavailable? Or did you just want to hang out with me that badly?” Vega asked dryly.

“Captain Levi is busy,” he replied curtly, “as am I.” Vega snorted at that.

“And yet you made time for little old me. I’m flattered,” she deadpanned. The man gave no reply to that, remaining irritatingly impassive. Vega was beginning to think she preferred the company of geriatric politicians and pompous nobility to whatever the hell these people had going on. She rolled her eyes behind his back and saw a ceiling fixture that looked oddly familiar. It was then that she finally registered where they were headed.

“Does Hange miss me already? I figured she would be back to her efforts at committing arson by now.”

The man side-eyed her with distaste, and Vega just smiled in return. They continued their trek down the long corridor in stifling silence. Well, he didn't seem like a good conversationalist anyway. Vega wouldn't bother trying anymore.

It was another minute into their walk when the man made a noise of discomfort. His face scrunched abnormally, like he had smelled something horrid. Vega raised an eyebrow at the gesture. His hand shot to his nose as he pinched it closed.

“Your stench is awful,” he barked. Vega couldn't help but show her appalment, eyes wide and mouth agape. Her

stench

?

Her stench?!

How dare he say she smelled! She may have not been fully adjusted to things here, and she could accept that she

talked

funny, or that even her

mannerisms

were odd. But to dare say she

smelled

—

“Your grief is palpable. Learn to handle your shit better,” he said, though it came out more like an order. He'd stopped now, and he didn't bother to even glance her way when he spoke. It was best that he didn't, because the fury in her eyes surely would have earned her a one-way ticket back to that dingy cell. What exactly was that supposed to mean? Her grief was

palpable

?

Contain it?

She'd learned from a young age to cover her pain well, so she knew it wasn't apparent in her face alone. But he wasn't even insinuating that. He was saying it was her

filthy smell

giving her away. How does one even

smell

like grief? And who the hell was he to tell her what to do with it? Vega wouldn't stand for it. She opened her mouth to tell him so when she suddenly heard someone speak from just beside her.

“Ah, Vega! My favorite gal!”

The new voice brought her out of her thoughts, and a hand came down on her shoulder. Her sights landed on Hange, who had made her approach unnoticed. Her smile was bright but understanding. Vega narrowed in on that grin. She didn't expect the mad woman to be socially aware, let alone offer up any assistance.

“I see you've met my good old friend, Section Commander Miche. Don't mind him. He's an odd one,” she jested. Her hand squeezed Vega's shoulder almost reassuringly. Funnily enough, her words did lighten the mood a bit—at least enough so that Vega could think straight. And now that she was focused on Hange rather than this Section Commander Miche, she couldn't help but snort at the woman’s hypocrisy. As if

she wasn't

odd?

“I was wondering where you two were! Come in, come in, don’t mind the mess. Erwin’s got us working double time, but alas, no rest for the wicked,” Hange said chipperly as she led Vega into the lab. As they passed through the doorway, she threw over her shoulder, “Thanks for the assist Miche! What would I do without you?”

The lab was in chaos. The first time Vega had been here, it had been nearly empty apart from the Section Commander and her victim, but now the place was absolutely bustling with older Scouts who were all acting like it was the eleventh hour. A group along the back wall seemed to be testing some sort of spiked grappling hook while the man from before – Moblit, she thought his name was – was presiding over a tray of bubbling chemicals, a few of which appeared to be corrosive.

The Section Commander led Vega over to one of the few unoccupied tables in the corner, already laid out with the necessary medical equipment for drawing blood. As she rolled up Vega’s sleeve and prepped the needle, Hange began to chatter feverishly about how excited she was to finally get her hands on Vega’s blood.

“--and I mean, obviously I won’t be able to compare it to Titan blood for any latent similarities – you have no idea how hard I’ve tried to analyze samples in the field, but the damn stuff just evaporates too fast! There has to be some reason they don’t seem to find you as tasty as the rest of us, and I’ve theorized in the past that due to their inability to digest organic matter, they may have a deficiency in hemoglobin. If you turn out to be anemic, it could totally confirm my hypothesis!” Hange let out a noise of excitement, muttering something under breath. Her face was red with passion. “Though it’s also possible it could be caused by an immune response, which is a whole different beast to tackle. Anyway, I think if I can isolate the antigens, I might be able to see if we could reproduce the effects–”

Jeez this woman could prattle. Vega was beginning to get whiplash from all these eccentric personalities, but she had to admit that she found Hange’s oddly endearing. The scientist always seemed so genuinely curious and enthusiastic about her research that Vega almost felt bad for letting her chase such a pointless dead end. The most interesting thing any of them would be able to discover about her blood was that it was O negative – relatively unhelpful unless one of them needed a transfusion at some point. Which, honestly, considering what she’d seen from them in the field thus far, wasn’t outside the realm of possibility.

“--and I trust Miche’s nose completely – really I do – but I’ve got to say, I can’t quite bring myself to rule out the smell component entirely just yet. I mean, it

would

totally explain why they go after us humans but not any animals! Not that I think you have animal blood or anything, but I’m just saying that I think a resemblance of some kind in the composition isn’t totally out of the question–”

Vega had mostly tuned her out at this point, looking around the room with mild interest. She wondered if any of their current projects had anything to do with the giant white monster they had run across last time they went for a jaunt in the woods. Once she was able to figure out how to follow them on the expedition, she would have to be on the lookout, especially for the barbed net being constructed on a workbench nearby.

Just then, Vega heard a frightened yelp from across the lab. Apparently, she had been correct in her earlier assessment of the chemical solutions Moblit was working on because one of them had managed to corrode right through its beaker and was now beginning to eat away at the table beneath it.

“Oh no!” Hange squealed, sounding more delighted than worried, “I’ve got to go take care of that before Moblit faints, but you’re all good to go! Just be a dear and hold that there for me until the blood clots, okay?” She pressed Vega’s fingers over a cotton ball on her elbow before rushing off, presumably to neutralize the acid in the solution before it ended up starting another fire.

Vega blinked down at her arm in surprise; she hadn’t even noticed the needle going in. She looked back up at the table next to her to find three small vials of crimson blood lined up neatly on a metal rack. Huh. Maybe the mad scientist lady wasn’t so bad after all. She had certainly shown more compassion and sensitivity towards Vega today than anyone here had thus far, especially that Commander. Although, Vega suspected that might just be because she

really

wanted her blood.

She waited for another minute to see if anyone was coming to collect her, since they didn’t appear to want her walking around the complex unsupervised. But Hange seemed to be completely engrossed by the “success” of her experiment and neither of Vega’s grumpy babysitters appeared to be around, so she decided to take her leave. Maybe she could get away with some exploring before the Captain noticed she was missing.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Over the next week, Vega tried desperately to find a way outside of those stupid walls without completely blowing her cover, but for a society that was supposed to revolve around keeping things

out

, they sure seemed to be pretty thorough about keeping people

in

.

Section Commander Miche became an annoyingly constant figure in her life as the Captain was kept “busy” with the Commander more and more often the closer they got to the expedition. Towards the end, she barely saw the scowly little man apart from their late night stargazing sessions. Well,

Vega

was stargazing. She wasn’t totally sure what

he

was doing out there, since she was pretty confident by now that he couldn’t tell Sirius apart from Polaris, but it kinda felt too late to ask at this point. Besides, she was surprised at how much she enjoyed his quiet presence out there under the dark tranquility of the stars. They never spoke, just sat there together in silence, staring off at their respective portions of the night sky until Vega grew too cold or tired and climbed back down through her window, leaving the Captain to do…whatever it was he was doing.

The surly Section Commander she was stuck with didn’t talk much either, just stoically carting her around to meals or to Hange’s lab for yet another DNA sample. By this point, she had taken hair follicles, urine, saliva, and skin tissue with absolutely nothing to show for it. Vega was honestly starting to get a little worried she might ask for bone marrow next. Fortunately, the rest of the lab was hectic enough in the lead up to the expedition that Hange didn’t seem to have much time to spare for her.

When she was able to sneak away, usually between dinner and stargazing with the Captain, Vega explored every inch of the complex for some idea of how to follow them out without being noticed. She briefly considered attempting to use the flying contraptions they were so fond of when she came across a few hidden away in storage but quickly abandoned the idea after trying for a straight hour just to get the damn thing

on

properly. When she finally found the stables, Vega just about jumped for joy. She waited until the early hours of the morning – after casually bidding adieu to the Captain on the roof – before sneaking out and saddling up a particularly friendly black mare.

She rode south for miles, towards the only area outside of the walls she knew they had managed to map out, and eventually laid eyes on the endless stretch of stony titan armor for the first time. Vega wasn’t sure exactly

which

wall it was, but she hoped against hope it was the outermost one. She slowed her horse as she approached, sticking to the long shadows of the tree line.

She meandered along the wall's edge for a good while; And the trees were never-ending. Besides the chirping of birds, she really didn't have much noise to get lost in, so most of the journey was her running through all the possible outcomes of this plan. There were the positives, the negatives, but what stuck out to her most was the fact that she was even going back out there to begin with. Really, why did these people have to run out into certain death at every available opportunity? She'd come here with the intention to protect them from behind the walls. The Scouts had thrown a huge wrench in her plans. But she had no choice here. She was making this plan because of their naivety, after all.

At one point, she stopped walking. She wasn't tired, but having been left to her own thoughts, she had come to stare at the sky blankly as it began to lighten in shades of yellow and robin egg blue. It must be approaching dawn though there was no sign of the sun – harsh, unforgiving stone blocking the curve of the horizon. Her thoughts trailed off to how different the sunrises and sunsets were here. Then, she thought about how people here viewed such things with such colossal walls standing between them and the outside. Not everyone could scale a roof to get a better look.

It was at that point she'd paused. Her hand ran over the smooth stone, and a bitter feeling came over her. She felt connected to the trapped titans within it. They were stuck, with only one false purpose. And they had no idea for how long they'd be here or when they'd be free. They had no one and nothing.

Well great, now she was pitying the

walls

. She needed to move on before she reflected any further.

It was only a bit further on that she found civilization. A lively market greeted her when she emerged from the thicket of trees. Finally, the chatter of people had filled her ears. It was a welcomed sight. Vega smiled thinly, slipping into the crowd. The smell of freshly baked bread permeated the air, making her stomach growl. The town was just beginning to wake, village folk weaving to and fro. Vega had to take care not to bump into anyone. For such a rural setting, there were tons of people; they were like a school of fish, almost.

She was only disoriented for a moment, trying to adjust to the ebb and flow of the herd. She’d just been away from such a crowd for a while that it hit her all at once—it was almost just like home. Liberio was where she’d spent most of her upbringing, and it wasn’t as impoverished as the village she was in. But the streets were always busy with people—couples, shoppers, vendors, passersby. The only distinct difference she found, the rural setting aside, was how noisy it was. People in Marley tended to keep to themselves, even in public. No outbursts or ogling was ever seen. It was an unspoken social rule that disorderliness was banned there. To Vega, seeing the lively street was almost mystifying.

To her left and right were stalls most certainly constructed by hand, some even in shambles from lack of repairs. Some displayed fruits, some fish, some fabric, and some bread. She watched as a butcher cleaved a flailing and gaping fish in half, bagging the head and handing it to a happy customer. Then, she looked at the bland cotton fabrics being displayed to her right. Some were dyed, and she awed at their ability to add color without the help of technology. And the clothes, too—it fascinated her. Really, she had gotten cozy with the lifestyle of a Marleyan aristocrat.

Vega was stopped in her tracks when someone fell in front of her. A man, maybe even a teen, had nearly collided with her as he landed on his rear. Beside him spilled two petite buns and a long, skinny bread loaf. It looked like he’d tried hiding them in his shirt.

“You dare steal such a precious commodity like bread?! We’ve got mouths to feed, you know!”

Another man joined the scene, sleeves pushed up and hands curled into fists. His face was twisted in anger. He was mad, and he wanted everyone to know it. He knelt down to meet the youth’s eyes, grabbing him by the collar. It was evident that the boy was out of it. He most likely had already been tossed around a bit. Vega wasn’t quite sure what her best choice would be here. She could help him, but what if that brought her trouble? What if the police—whatever they were called here—were after him, and it wasn’t just this angry patreon? Either way, she was stuck. She couldn’t bring herself to turn away, but watching as an onlooker didn’t sound any more appealing.

This sort of scenario was a common occurrence in Marley. That was the reason people didn’t speak when out in public; there was always the looming threat of discipline for even the smallest of misconduct. And if you were an Eldian, you might as well have stapled your mouth shut to keep from making noise. It was disheartening for Vega, who had been in awe about the beauty of this market, to see the cruelty unfold before her.

A crowd began to form as the tension rose, watching as the young man stuttered out apologies, eyes darting around like he desperately wanted to make a run for it. The angry man shook him, screaming in his face about the current trend of inflation and how getting anything was a struggle these days. Vega was at odds with herself on what to do as she watched the indignant man rattle the poor guy. If only she’d thought to snag a bag of pocket change from someone—Hange might’ve even given it to her. But now she was here, without money and without the authority to really do anything. She started to step forward, but then took two steps back.

Just as she was beginning to slip back behind a stall, a very drunk blonde man stumbled through the crowd and towards the altercation at its center. He was wearing a uniform similar to the Scouts’ apart from the insignia – a red rose design rather than blue wings.

“Hey, hey – gentlemen, let's all take a breather,” he said jovially. Vega supposed he was supposed to be their version of police. Why he was inebriated before the sun had even finished rising, she had no idea. She watched as he attempted to diffuse the situation with unexpected ease, patting the angry man on the shoulder and helping the bread thief off the ground. “My buddy here didn’t mean no harm, look at ‘em!”

His words were a slurred mess, hardly coherent. Only with her practice in tending to lazy-eyed guests was she able to really understand him. The man leaned against the young boy, taunting him for his behavior. It looked almost like a parent scolding their child. Then, he sluggishly turned to the merchant with a smile. “Can’t you just let this one go? He’s practically skin and bones!” He boasted a laugh that Vega could’ve sworn was him hiding some underlying feeling. He wasn’t a caring officer trying to enact justice, it appeared. But, she would hold off on judging him too quickly. He was, after all, resolving

her

conflict.

The woman running the stall was a blubbering mess, Vega noticed. She seemed torn on what to do. Vega didn’t have much experience with the insecure, indecisive type. But one thing she understood about them was that they almost always wanted an out. The pressure was on to give the right answer, one that would appease everyone. But there was no right or wrong answer here. She had to make a choice—let a thief go or risk a poor boy going starving.

In the end, she decided to let him go.

The crowd diffused after such an anticlimactic conclusion, Vega along with it. There was no use in sticking around when there wasn’t anything to look at. She had business to attend to. And that now started with learning more about this police system. Where did that drunk man saunter off to? She started off in the direction he’d gone in after releasing the boy with his warning.

As she approached the wall, she noticed an old-fashioned, pulley style brick gate hanging over what looked like the entrance to a small city. So this wasn’t the outermost wall. Fantastic. There were more of those embroidered jackets clustered around the gateway, though none seemed to be doing any actual policing. Thankfully, these people appeared to be entirely separate from the Scouts as she couldn’t see any sign of their winged crest.

“Well hi there, little lady. Something we can help you with?” The question came from the blonde man she had been following, now seated at a card table with several other thoroughly intoxicated military men. Vega was starting to think the Scouts might actually be the professionals around here – a truly terrifying thought.

Vega smiled her sweetest little lost lamb smile, “Yes, thank you, sir. I was just passing through, and I think I may have gotten turned around somewhere. Would you mind telling me the name of this town?”

The man chuckled, apparently finding something amusing in her inquiry.

“Well, you’re clearly not from around here.”

*****

When Vega got back to the Scouts’ compound, the sun was nearly at its peak in the sky. She knew that the Commander and his glowering henchmen had surely noticed her absence by now – a necessary risk – so she wasn’t surprised to see several soldiers run inside as she approached, likely to alert the Commander that his prodigal forest girl had returned. What she hadn’t expected was for one of the aforementioned henchmen to already be waiting for her in the stables, arms crossed over his chest and a particularly furious version of his signature scowl on his face. The Captain met her halfway, eyes hollow and marked by even deeper bags than usual.

“Well,” Vega started, “You look

terrible

. Rough night?” She slipped off the horse, almost tripping over herself as he seized her arm. Not even a tongue-click was given in response, and he wasn’t looking at her with his cold eyes anymore.

Oh

, she thought,

I’ve done it now

.

Her horse was abandoned and left to be wrangled up by some lagging cadet. Vega didn’t try to stall or speak. While it was her knee-jerk reaction to make a small, witty quip, she had to resolve herself. This was an expression she’d never seen on this man. And it didn’t scare her so much as it concerned her. She’d really underestimated his level of emotional depth. She was treading into an unpredictable playing field now, and one wrong step could set off the land mine.

The Captain continued to drag her on in silence for a good few minutes. Not once did he turn to glance at her. Not a sound left either of their lips. Vega was too busy analyzing his abnormally scrunched brow ridge and downturned chin to really make any commentary. She didn’t know much about him—only that he was emotionally constipated. But it seemed like he was bothered by this, on a level deeper than any inconvenience Hange could’ve caused. No, he was genuinely

angry

with her.

They turned a corner and she was pulled more harshly down the corridor. There was a dry emptiness to his voice when the Captain finally did speak. And still, he refused to meet her gaze. “I’m not playing any more mind games with your sorry ass. You and Erwin can have your

stupid fucking chat

.”

He stopped abruptly, not even caring to stop her from colliding with his back. She wanted to scoff at his disrespect but held back. Yes, it was wrong of her to have done what she did. But could he not try to see where she was coming from? She knew that he knew there was more to her. And she needed information. Couldn’t he at least see her as a scared little girl wanting to find a way out?

No, that would be too much to ask from someone like him, wouldn’t it?

“But trust me, you piece of shit,” he said, finally turning so that she could see just one eye. “Proper disciplinary measures

will

be taken.” He lingered there for a second more, imploring her to take in the seriousness of his words. It did rattle her bones a bit, as no one had ever really spoken to her in such a way. But she wasn’t scared. Nothing he could ever do would

scare

her.

Vega was about to speak when the door they were in front of swung open and the Commander made his appearance. The air felt cool as it moved with his figure. It was clear that he’d been pacing his office, anticipating their arrival. And simply being in his presence, staring up at his stoic expression, was arguably just as bad as the suffocating silence she had been in with the Captain.

“You’ve arrived,” he said, “And you’re safe.” The emotion in his tone betrayed the apathy on his face. Apparently no one around this place knew how to mask their damn emotions correctly, and she was getting it full force today. Was her disappearance really something to raise so much concern over? Weren’t there any other important things to be done besides going stir-crazy from a girl leaving her jail cell? If she thought that she could get away with it, she’d certainly raise the question.

The Captain gave the Commander a silent nod, communicating something Vega couldn’t quite understand. But it was something the Commander apparently knew well, and with a dip of his head, the Captain was gone. No goodbye or parting message (read: threat). It made Vega feel small in a way. And an even smaller part of her thought an apology might be appropriate right about now. But for what? What would she apologize for? All of this was for them, anyway. She

certainly

couldn’t explain herself. And it wasn’t like that scowl would get wiped clean off his face with a simple,

“I’m sorry”

The Commander brought her attention back to him by clearing his throat. Neither of them were necessarily being subtle. And for this man, that was very strange. This would certainly be unlike any chat they’d ever had.

“Please, come in. I believe we have a lot to discuss, Miss

Vega

.”

There was something she found unsettling about the way he addressed her. It was a tone encasing so many different messages, a bundle of words all tangled together that she couldn’t make sense of it. He was mad at her as well. That was all she knew.

Silently and obediently, she took her seat in front of his desk. The blue sky visible through the window was not the welcome sight she thought it might be. In fact, it only reaffirmed the darkness of the air around her. The Commander must have been overcome with worry.

“I take it you enjoyed your stroll.” It was said with a more sure voice, not one he’d use in asking a question. Vega didn’t respond immediately. Really, she wasn’t sure what she

should

say in response to that. All the remarks that came to mind were snarky comments.

The man took his seat across from her and folded his hands under his chin. “You’re not hurt anywhere, are you?” His eyes scanned her frame, clearly unconcerned as to how it may make her feel. He did so slowly, taking in each part of her almost like something might be gone—might be lost. She finally choked out the words she wanted to.

“N-no. I’m quite well, thank you.”

The Commander hummed, but not out of deep thought. It was like hearing someone mention the chilly breeze passing through—unfazed and unengaged. His mind was somewhere else. The question she had to ask herself was: did she want to be in that place? Sure, she was an overpowered bioweapon who could cause mass destruction at a moment’s notice, but she’d also rather not be on the bad side of the people she was trying to help. She shifted awkwardly in her seat. Why did she feel like she was in the dog house? She, a highly esteemed noblewoman, was being put in the corner, in time-out like a child. The audacity.

“Tell me,” he finally said, “Did you happen to come across anyone bearing coats like ours? Except, perhaps, with horses or roses embroidered on them?” His transition into the topic was abrupt, and it had Vega wondering if he’d been itching to ask her that since she’d walked in. What did that even mean? Roses and horses? Vega almost gave herself away to him, wanting to quirk a brow in perplexity. She wondered what it was that was so important about this that the Commander hadn’t even bothered to dance around the question.

As she was about to deny it, she thought back to the drunkard she’d met earlier. She recalled the symbol on his jacket – a red rose, to be precise. He had said quite a bit to her about his branch of the military – the Garrison. Their job was just to stand on the top of the walls, to “guard” them, as if a bunch of idiotic pure titans could somehow mount an invasion on their own. And the Commander, for some reason, did not want her interacting with them. How could she calmly explain to him that she had actually spoken for a good bit with one of them? Maybe…it was best if she kept that information to herself.

“No, I don’t know what you’re even talking about.” It was best to be curt and to avoid leaking any emotion that might reveal her cards. If she said any more, he’d get suspicious. And she could already see the frustrated tick in his eye. But it seemed like it didn’t matter, because he was deathly silent. He

wanted

her to talk. The floor was hers, which meant he was already suspicious that she was lying.

“If…there’s nothing further—”

“Who are you?”

The question caught her off guard. She certainly didn’t expect him to ask her that. She’d gotten accustomed to their back and forth, the banter of two minds clashing. It almost felt out of character for him to say what was so very clearly on his mind. Her hands, which were grasping the arms of the plush seat, tensed. She was almost standing when he had rushed his words out. Now, they were engaged in a serious, silent battle. It wasn’t one of wits or politeness. What Vega felt right now was a cold, hardened glare, threatening to divulge the man’s trump card if needed. She wondered what that card was, and if he really was willing to use it.

Slowly she eased herself back into her seat. The Commander didn’t move, and made no attempt to lighten the tension of the room, so she could only assume that he wanted her to feel uncomfortable. In a way, he was acting like a child. The delicate mask he’d tried so hard to keep up was cracking—not that it was a very good one. She’d seen through it the second she’d first spoken with him. Nonetheless, such behavior was beneath a man of his position. It irritated her.

“Sir, I’ve already told you my name—”

“You know very well that that isn’t what I mean,” he said, effectively cutting her off a second time. She didn’t have even a moment to catch her breath when he launched his assault. “We both know there’s something not being said here. I’m simply giving you the space to share your piece.”

Vega noticed the correction in his tone. He was trying to get back the flimsy mask he always had on standby. Only this time, it was nowhere to be found. He was doing a piss poor job at it. His face was just as, if not colder than it was before.

Ultimately, she decided to stay silent. She didn’t know what she could really say in response to that. Truly, she didn’t feel it was worth the energy to string together a lie or a near truth. She could string these people along all day long, but if they wouldn’t listen, it was worthless. He wanted a specific answer, one that felt satisfying and gratifying. One that meant he would get his way. Whatever she’d give him wouldn’t suffice, so speaking was pointless.

“You have nothing to say? I’m rather shocked, given your circumstances.” The Commander was trying to be threatening now. Vega silently took in his words, repeating them in her head. She just couldn’t get over the irony of his use of

‘her circumstances’

. What he meant was that she was in trouble, like a child. But she could only think of

their

circumstances

–

which, from what she had seen thus far, were dire. And this was why she wasn’t speaking.

The Commander waited, and then he finally got tired of her blank stare. His sigh led into something of a groan, and he looked away slowly. “I shall take your silence as permission to speak, then.”

He leaned to his right, where there was a set of drawers. And he revealed from one a small pouch, of which he let drop to the desk with a resounding thud. Peeking out was the tip of a dagger,

her

dagger. Vega had taken a small arsenal of them when she had escaped Marley, and she’d just assumed they'd taken them all when they locked her up to minimize risk. She raised an eyebrow, intrigued at the new direction. What was so special about a dagger?

The Commander carefully took a clean cloth from his pocket and took the blade in his hand. Then, he offered a look to Vega. He was making it clear she was to only look, and nothing more. But what he really wanted was a reaction. When she didn’t deliver, he spoke.

“This was on your person when we found you. Tell me, what sort of material is this?”

Oh.

Oh, no.

Vega hadn’t even considered that particular issue. Upon entering the walls, she had been prepared to account for her strange vernacular, lack of knowledge about their world, and even the

presence

of the various knives she’d stolen from the barracks. Yet, oddly, she hadn’t thought about something as simple as the kind of

steel

Marley used in their weaponry. A kind of steel they had imported from the far East for over a decade because of its unsurpassable durability. She wondered why the Commander hadn’t brought it up before.

Vega met his sharp gaze unflinchingly, even as her mind erupted in turmoil. The Commander seemed to take this as an invitation to continue.

“The clothing we recovered you in also has an…abnormal composition. As well as some truly bizarre symbols embroidered onto them.” The Commander didn’t seem to be looking for answers anymore, using each comment as a blow against her, a way to demonstrate his power. “There is also the small matter of your behavior in our cellar, which I have thus far neglected to mention in the face of the much larger matter that is your

clearly

extensive experience in battle tactics.”

Vega swallowed. She had miscalculated. She had miscalculated

so much

. A part of her, despite the clear danger and unknown variables at play, hadn’t fully taken her situation seriously until now. These people had thus far seemed like a bit of a joke, allowing her to run off and go stargazing with her grouchy bodyguard, sending in some crazy lady rather than a professional interrogator to question her, having her eat her meals alongside a gaggle of foolish, bright-eyed teenagers. Vega realized, at that exact moment, that all of her calculations until now had been based on the assumption that these people were at least a little bit stupid. But they were far from it. In reality, they had given her just enough rope with which to hang herself. And she had obliged.

The Commander must have noticed her distress, settling a bit more comfortably in his chair, as if feeling the scales of power tip into his favor. Well, he had finally gotten his leverage. Now all that’s left was to see how he’d use it.

“You know, there

is

a reason the Scout regiment has maintained custody of you, even despite your onerous tendencies.” His icy blue eyes bored into hers. Vega had a feeling they were getting frighteningly close to the trump-card stage of this negotiation. “There are many within the Walls that fear the unknown. Rather than exploring the potential of an aberration such as yourself, there are some in our government that would prefer such risks…eradicated. If they were to discover your true origin, I fear your situation here may become, let us say,

precarious

.”

Vega held the Commander’s gaze for several seconds, absorbing this new information.

No one knew that she was here.

The Commander was actively hiding her existence from his own government – likely in order to satisfy whatever desperate curiosity he harbored about the outside world. She was suddenly very glad she had spoken to a soldier too drunk to register how out-of-place she must have seemed. She was also suddenly and violently reminded of just how much she was at these people’s mercy. Her only advantage here was her ability to transform into a man-eating monster – which was certainly helpful, don’t get her wrong, but it would mean giving up her mission, her purpose. And where would she go? Off to frolic in the woods for a few years until the Marleyan warriors eventually showed up to massacre them all? No. Vega needed the Commander just as much as he needed her. She had been stupid to have ignored that fact until now.

The man across from her felt much bigger than her now. She had to resist the urge to fidget in her chair as she considered the implications of his claim.

To start with, there was the question of why he was telling her this in the first place. In particular, why

now

? If the Commander, here, was threatening to send her elsewhere, to an implicitly harsher brigade, then why hadn’t he done so already? Why had he never brought up these other parties before, knowing she was a stranger to these things? Her gaze hardened immediately. He was full of shit.

If this were a legitimate threat, he’d go into more explicit detail. He wouldn’t let her stew in her thoughts and worries for so long like this. They both understood she knew nothing of what would be done to her, making the possibility of her capture that much more fear-inducing. This was nothing more than a bluff, an intimidation tactic to keep her in line. He was far too invested in the knowledge she had of the outside world to jeopardize her safety. She opened her mouth to say so when another thought hit her – the guards on the walls.

“You seem to have gained a second wind,” he slipped in unamusingly. Her chest, just bowed in faux confidence, was now tense with confliction. The Commander was a shrewd bastard — she had to give him that. The air about him was intense and exhausting, even for someone like her who was skilled in stifling political conventions. But if this was all an elaborate ruse to resume control over her, or at least scare her enough to stop her charades for a while, then why would the Eldians have an entire military branch dedicated to guarding a wall that Titans could never breach (at least to their knowledge)? There was something she couldn’t see but could understand clearly now that was significant about those drunkard soldiers, and she could only think that the Commander might have been on to something. What would their motive be if they were to assume custody of her? There had to be something to his claim, especially with how worried he had seemed at her disappearance.

Her smirk had slipped and cracked into a thin, straight line as her mind raced through all the possibilities. She wasn’t sure. She had thought she understood him and his mind, but she clearly didn’t. She didn’t know any of them. Maybe she’d spent too much time pointing out their flaws and attributing their feats to that of circus monkeys, and now the monkeys were stray cats, smarter and quicker than you think. There were too many variables, too many unknowns for Vega to navigate. She felt like a child playing checkers as the pieces morphed into pawns and bishops in her hands. She felt out of control.

“What’s wrong? You seemed ready to say something. Please,” the Commander said, effectively snapping her to her senses. She swallowed down the ball of nerves, not wanting to show her uncertainty and, really, embarrassment. This was most certainly a lesson to be learned from. Perhaps it wasn’t the lesson this man wanted her to take, but she’d taken something important from this exchange nonetheless. She was in way over her head here. She was playing a game that she did not understand.

Vega cleared her throat, offering a curt apology for inconveniencing him and the others, and promptly shot up from her seat. She really couldn’t get out of there quick enough, her face flushed pink in shame. The door wasn’t locked (for a split second she was worried it was, as she struggled to turn it), and she tore the piece of wood from its frame.

She didn’t bother to pass on any further parting words, and the Commander didn’t either. Whether to add to the tension or because she simply couldn’t hear him over the blood rushing in her ears, he remained stoically silent as she ran out of the room. Vega made an attempt at bolting down the hall – to her room? Maybe outside? She needed to breathe; it felt like all the air had been stolen from her lungs. She needed her mom.

But she was nabbed much faster than she could make up her mind. In her panic, she flailed her arm to break free, but the grip was unshakeable. She knew who it was without even looking at him. Hell, his anger was even more palpable than the blonde’s! She didn’t want to be humiliated even further. Why wouldn’t he just let go?!

“You’re crazy if you think I’m letting your shitty ass leave again without me.” Somehow his hand tightened on your forearm. She winced, unable to speak up out of both shame and anxiety. She tried once more to pull away before she met his eyes, giving him her best glare. It was wholly ineffective, mostly because his was ten times more potent. Vega froze.

Her mind started grinding, jumbled thoughts clinging to substance in the hopes of making sense of her situation. The Captain looked her up and down, taking in her flushed appearance and erratic breathing. He rolled his eyes in annoyance before starting down the hallway, her arm still held tightly in his grasp. Vega stumbled a bit as she followed him up a flight of stairs, too emotionally frazzled to argue but truly dreading being taken anywhere else right now. She just needed a moment, just one second to herself to process everything that just happened in the Commander’s office before her heart decided to break its way out of her ribcage by force.

Just as she began to feel that her legs were genuinely going to give out underneath her, the Captain dragged her around a corner into the hallway that held her bedroom. She could have cried with relief.

The Captain glowered at her as they stopped in front of her door. “Your window has been bolted shut. If I see you leave this room before we leave, I will personally skin your ass alive.” Something in the steely glint of his eyes told her he wasn’t fucking around.

With that colorful visual, the Captain released her arm, staring her down as she opened the door and walked into her room. She looked back at him, biting down on her lip, unsure what to say. He was obviously still pissed off about her little disappearing act but, at least for now, he was leaving her be; allowing her to collect herself. Hot tears pricked the back of her eyes. She settled on a whispered, “thank you,” before shutting and locking the door.

Stupidly, she tried the window first. The Captain hadn’t been lying; it was securely nailed down, completely immovable. Vega was trapped, like a rat in a cage. She turned and slid down the wall, putting her head between her knees as she attempted to calm her racing pulse. Finally, she let the tears fall.

***

The next morning, the Scouts left for their expedition. Vega had stayed in her room the entire day before – or been kept in it more like. They sent her meals up like she was back in a cell, which she supposed she was. She paced like a caged tiger all through the night, running over all she had learned about the wall in her head and trying to formulate some plan as to how she could get over it without alerting those garrison men. The easiest way would be through the gate, but she doubted they would raise it for anything after the Scouts had left. Her strategic mind was at its limit, wishing she had gathered more information while she had the chance instead of naively assuming she would have another opening. She was at the point of tearing her hair out when the sun began to peek out over the horizon, signaling that she was out of time. And she had no plan.

The Captain finally let her out to watch them leave, with a distant look in his eye that told her she was not his primary concern at the moment. She was unsure how they expected to keep her from running off while they were gone, but something told her the Commander wasn’t leaving anything to chance after yesterday. She trailed him down to the main lawn where the Scouts were gathered in neat lines on their mounts. It was somehow less people than she had expected from an entire military branch, though she knew it was a small island. She spotted Petra and Nifa on the right flank of the formation, bright-eyed and laughing with a group of teenagers who all looked far too young for Vega's comfort.

She watched as the Captain took his place near the front, and selfishly wished he was closer to the girls. She was anxious to help all the soldiers, of course, but she worried about Petra and Nifa in particular; the idea of letting those kids face such violent beasts on their own made her nauseous. The hope shining in their eyes was a visceral reminder of all the children she had had to watch have their innocence so violently ripped away. Of Atlas, whom she had tried to save. Whom she wasn’t sure was even still alive. And now she was forced to watch as these sweet, naive girls rode to their deaths on a fool’s mission. She wanted to scream that it was pointless, that for every titan they killed, Marley would only send two more to take their place. She swallowed the words down and turned away. They left a bitter taste in her mouth.

The two section commanders she had met, Hange and Miche, were on opposite sides of the group. Hange appeared in high spirits, speaking enthusiastically to Moblit as she gestured wildly with her hands. Vega was relieved to see that Miche appeared to be heading the group Petra and Nifa were in. She hadn’t seen him in action during her jaunt in the woods, but if the cadets’ reactions to him were anything to go by, he should be able to look after the girls well enough. He sat stock-still in his saddle, stone-faced as the kids around him chattered excitedly. The Captain had the same grim expression on his face, the look of a seasoned veteran returning to no man’s land.

The Commander gave a rousing speech before they rode off, which Vega mostly tuned out. It was an inspiring address, she supposed—as redundant and cliche as any she’d heard before. But it left an inspiring impression on the youths, so who was she to put out their flame? Vega only thought that perhaps she’d do a better job; maybe she’d touch their hearts with something more endearing. There were better things to say than,

“Today, we make history! For mankind!”

But she caught herself as soon as the thought came up. She’d never send children out to war in the first place. Watching Petra, Nifa, and all of the others wave back at her was a nauseating experience. But she held back. The least she could do, if she couldn’t accompany them, was to mask the fear in her heart. And so they rode off, becoming blurs in the distance until they were beyond the trees.

Vega would’ve liked to say their absence gave her the opportunity to run, to do something. That wasn’t her reality, though. She was stuck here, under a scrutinizing set of eyes, one of which she wasn't acquainted with. They were watching her from the stables. The Commander’s words rang in her head—everything he’d said the day before. And she couldn’t find it in herself to be cross with him for hiring security. It only frustrated her that at every road there was a dead end. They really couldn’t make this easy on her – it wasn’t like she was trying to save their lives or anything.

Rather than acknowledge her babysitter, Vega opted to go back inside. The bitterness wedging its way into her chest was overwhelming. She had to be rational about this. Nothing good could come of revealing herself, and besides, it wasn’t like the Scouts didn’t know what they were walking into. They had mostly held their own last time; as long as they didn’t decide to openly dangle themselves around to every titan in the vicinity again, they should be fine. Right? She entered her room, as she’d been lost in thought the whole trek there. It was cold and silent. She thought about her midnight talks with the Captain, and for a brief moment, she felt a tightening in her chest. It would be a while before they’d share that comforting sky together again.

It dawned on her then what she was feeling. While part of it was most certainly from self-pity, she felt something else that she hadn’t since coming here. Mixed with her fear and overall anxiety about the situation, she also felt

guilty

. She felt responsible for this, for the day prior and for today. The Commander was on edge, the Captain was upset, and those children were practically defenseless on their own. She felt her hands begin to shake. She tried desperately to convince herself that she hadn’t just let them all ride out into a slaughter. She had to believe they could take care of themselves. She had to believe they would be fine.