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Castiel wondered if the strange warmth in his chest was what humans called ‘feelings’. Was it the fire that was slowly scorching his wings? When Castiel had seen Dean with Anna, this same flame had burnt him unpleasantly the first time, but every time he looked into Dean’s eyes, he felt it tingle with a pleasant glow. He kept an eye on his hunter, who was sleeping on the bed where Castiel had carried him after his own outburst of anger in that alley. Images of Dean calling for Michael flashed; the look of a man who had given up on him and Sam.
How dared he.
Castiel snapped out of the returning flash of rage, his expression dropping to a somber stare. He flexed his hand, looking at the small smear of Dean’s blood still staining it. He turned back to apologetically look at Dean, who was lying there motionless, eyes closed, but most likely not asleep.
Silently Castiel came closer, until his form towered right beside the hunter. He idly remembered how, under normal circumstances, Dean would've likely thrown a remark about their current position. Something about closeness, or another one about 'getting laid', as he put it.
...Under normal circumstances?
Since when had his interactions with Dean become normal for him?
Castiel's mind came to a halt at the notion. But as he explored the thought, cradled it in his palm, he found he couldn't deny it, even if it confused him.
In the long time his existence spanned – a time which he surmised would be impossible to comprehend for the human mind – this tiny sliver with Dean was so vibrant as to be almost blinding. Confusion, fear, this feeling of standing within a slowly cracking dome of glass. This sliver of time held more pain he could remember going through, as well as seeing the forces he'd trusted to hold the world together turn into something vile.
But within this sliver of time for him was also Dean Winchester. A selfish man, a fool, a lecher... Yet there was a warmth to him that might have had infected his own being as well. This man who fearlessly spat at the feet of the wise beings refusing to confront their failings, who fought against these very forces to protect those he saw to need it, and – though he was sure the hunter would scoff at him – to see some beauty preserved in the world.
If such base creatures as humans could see the failings of a world around them and fight against it, what excuse had the divine?
Yes, his time with Dean held pain like no other, but this odd warmth within his chest was the closest to belonging Castiel could remember. In the absurd moments, the mundane, even the perilous, he'd found a normality he craved.
And Dean had nearly thrown it all away.
"It is you who so incessantly pushed me to go on, Dean." Castiel spoke, though he doubted the hunter would hear him. "Where is that fire now?"
"That fire's in the pit again. I find myself back there anytime my thoughts get outta hand," Dean whispered in pain.
Castiel had healed him, as he always did, but the 'magical instant healing' part of it was somewhat bullshit. The physical damage was gone, but it still left you with a dull ache. Like after a stressful athletic day you wake up well-rested but your muscles are sore.
"...But you were right," he continued reluctantly, "I deserved that shake up. Hell, I know I'd've done it myself if past me had been there."
He turned his head to face Castiel. The angel’s intense stare used to make him feel queasy, but now the attention received made him feel better. When had it shifted so? He wouldn't have given rat's ass if it was any other heavenly prick this interested in his soul, but from Castiel? His slowly clearing head had to admit it was flattering.
Maybe all he had needed was a a smack to his face. Dean seemed to think so, because he found his hand grasping Cas's coat's sleeve, and then found his hand that had hit him. He muttered a barely audible: "Ah hell, what am I doing?" but didn't remove his hand.
Castiel's eyes followed Dean's hand, transfixed. For a long quiet moment they stayed like that. Embarrassment seemed to mount with each passing second for Dean, judging by his expression, but Castiel refused to let him pull away. His long, dexterous fingers wound around the worn skin of the hunter's palm, firm as ever, but void of the harshness back at the alleyway.
The look he saw in Dean's eyes then was one he hadn't seen from the hunter. Or not so openly at the very least. It was one of befuddlement – likely a reaction to Castiel's action, as it often was – but also a cautiously hopeful one. Even a tiniest bit pleading.
There was that familiar warmth again, spreading within Castiel's chest. Along with a twinge of pain. When had Dean looked at him so...... Exhausted? Desperate? Whatever the case, he felt the urge to chase it away from the hunter.
Without another word he knelt down beside the bed, until he was eye level with Dean. His hand still held onto Dean's own, hoping he could offer more reassurance with the gesture than he often could with his words.
Dean felt exposed. As he always did when it seemed like Castiel devoted his attention wholly to him. Dean's eyes shied away from him, his lashes fluttering as he directed his gaze elsewhere.
"Uh, Cas... I think this needs to be addressed. I- uhh…" His curious gaze returned to Cas. Those inquisitive blue eyes were so distracting, he almost lost his words, "Why do you seem so keen? About me specifically?"
He hoped he didn't stop to admire Cas's face for too long. He hoped Cas didn't notice him lingering on those slightly parted lips.
The angel wasn't easy to read, but his question maybe had shifted something in him. His grip tightened on Dean's hand for just a second. His serious features and furrowed brow seemed to soften. Was he taken aback by his question?
Castiel blinked, averting his eyes to the side. Once more he looked stumped, attempting to form the words that felt correct. He seemed jittery, it was difficult to convey thoughts into coherent sentences. The fact that his gaze landed upon Dean's lips did not help either. Nor the fact that the hunter's stare hadn't escaped his notice.
"Is there a reason I shouldn't be?" Castiel spoke, looking off like he often did when deep in thought, now avoiding Dean's eyes. "You've... opened my eyes to many things, I feel like I'm awake for the first time in a long while."
Dean decided to bite the bullet: "Oh, it's just – as I've said – in our world, if you were a human, it'd seem like there's something more here."
Dean slid his hand up Castiel's meaningfully. He wondered, did Cas even have a concept for what he was alluding to? He had said it once, maybe half-jokingly but still: Cas not for nothing but the last time somebody looked at me like that, I got laid. Why was it so weird to ask it properly now?
Castiel frowned lightly: "Something more?" His eyes flickered to those strong, battle-scarred fingers wrapping around his own, then back up at Dean again. That tingling warmth raced across his skin at the contact. He decided to chase it, curiosity overriding any reservations that usually weighed him.
Letting intuition guide his movements, Castiel rose enough to climb onto the bed and over the broad hunter, staring down as he hovered above him. This seemed to have caught Dean off-guard again, wide-eyed, and a small smirk tugged the corners of Castiel's mouth. Oh, the feeling ignited him again.
"You'll have to be more specific than that." There was a low rumble to his voice, as he looked down at Dean with half-lidded eyes.
Dean blinked and let out a surprised breath: "Woah, Cas, this is... Well, to be honest, it seems like you've been treading the line of flirting with sexual tension for quite a while."
Was Cas toying with him? Or was he just kinda oblivious still. Either way Dean hadn't thought the angel would make any kind of move. He shifted awkwardly under the weight of Cas' hips. He would've been turned on, but he feared too much of crossing the line with an eldritch entity.
Uh, okay, it was a bit difficult to think much else than the suggestiveness in Cas' actions. For some reason Cas' commanding voice, and as fucked up as it was, even the angry wake-up call he had given earlier only fuelled his imagination.
"Y'know, I thought angels don't feel lust?"
He put his hands on Castiel's thighs under the hems of his trench coat just to toe the line he had mentioned even further.
Cas paused at that, considering the words. So this is what lust felt like? It certainly felt more accurate the more he thought about it. And it explained certain emotions that had wracked him before.
Those moments when his eyes had lingered on Dean's sleeping form, when the always alert hunter's features finally relaxed, and his breathing calmed. Even those moments he'd followed the Winchesters through an investigation and seen Dean work his flirtatious deception, he found himself fascinated. And the time when they'd gotten close to Famine. He'd assumed at the time the bottomless hunger he'd felt was the horseman's effect on Jim. But as he thought back on the sensation that blazed within him when his eyes roamed over Dean at the time, such a wildfire. That was something he couldn't blame on his unfortunate host.
".... That was my understanding as well."
There was a melancholy in his monotone voice, likely undetectable to anyone else. Cas's eyes softened for the briefest moment, not really focusing on the hunter beneath him, but as he felt Dean's touch through the fabric of his slacks, a more powerful part of him found it hard to care what such feelings would mean for him.
"I do suppose I haven't been a proper one for some time, have I?" He quirked his brow at Dean, dryly humorous.
A mischievous smile played on Dean's lips for a moment: "You do seem different. Even the time we met, you did. But now…"
The notion of getting too close to an angel of the lord seemed like a violation even to a heathen like him. But Dean liked to play with fire. At this point who gave a crap about an absent God who was canonically called the 'Jealous one' in the Bible? Fuck that.
He slid his right hand quite easily under the loose side of Cas's haphazardly tucked in dress-shirt.
"I'd even say, now you seem more honest," Dean’s tone was playful, but he tried to seem tough and serious with his demeanor. All the while he felt Cas's cool skin under his palm. It hit him that he had never touched his skin, only his hands.
Cas's breath hitched; his eyes fluttered, closed at the unfamiliar sensations of the hunter's fingers traveling over his bare skin. Was the human body truly this sensitive to touch? Not that he'd ever had the mind to test, but how Dean's fingers so easily made warmth bloom beneath, making him shiver.... It was as if suddenly all of the angel's senses had been magnified tenfold.
His arms stiffened to keep himself upright, his head dropping until his face was mere inches away from Dean's shoulder. He breathed in deep, the broad hunter's scent making his head spin, the tingling heat enveloping his body like a wave before focusing between his legs. It was almost intoxicating. He lifted his head just enough to stare at Dean, glimmering blue smoldered from beneath his long lashes. Like an azure blaze eager to swallow him whole. Was there a glow to them?
"You're a.... Potent influence, Dean." Cas murmured with a breathy smirk, his tongue caressing the hunter's name as if savoring it.
Dean pressed his hand to Cas's dark hair. About to just bring his head down and lead him into a kiss. But he still hesitated, only stroked his hair. He usually didn't give these things that much pause.
"Talk about influence. I usually don't hold back at all."
It had been quite a while since anyone had held him, been so close with dangerous intentions, promises of closeness. The brief moment with Anna was all he'd had. Maybe one or two drunk-addled fumbles in the dark for some unnamed pleasures of the flesh when he'd got the chance.
He noticed he had been unable to crave it like he used to. Some Cindy from a roadhouse had become an unnamed hazy memory to him because the name he desperately tried to evict from his thoughts was Castiel. Cindy, Lisa, or even some Brendon he'd hooked up with, who had some rudimentary similarity to Cas. The meaning of them seemed to fade away. In the end the angel’s name he sought to distance from his lust was the one that stayed.
"Cas, don't wanna be rude, but I don't think you get what you're doing." Dean whispered hoarsely as the involuntary warmth on his chest spread and relaxed some of his muscles while they tensed in other places. "Careful..." Dean warned one more time as he shifted under the sweet pressure of thighs cradling his hips. His hand on the back of Cas's head now seemed more a precaution to stop himself from kissing him.
Cas's eyes narrowed almost to a glare at Dean's words, intently boring into the hunter's own. He saw that deep uncertainty which seemed to be haunting all of his actions as of late. That fear that the man was so intent to keep buried. While he understood Dean meant no offense - all of these emotions were new to the angel, after all - Cas couldn't help the mild annoyance of being underestimated so, a faint echo of his fury from before.
If Dean needed proof from him then that's exactly what he'd give him.
"I know that I want you." The angel's voice was very nearly a snarl, the fiery intensity of his eyes burning even brighter now. With purposeful movements he dove down to capture Dean's lips into a kiss, a tremor racking throughout his body at the sensation. It wasn't deep, but it was firm, Cas's lips crashing into Dean's at an almost demanding pace.
It took a few moments before he pulled away to breathe, but even then, he still hovered directly above Dean. Unfamiliar impatience compelled him to move no farther away. Dean's eyes stared up at him in a slight haze.
"I know I-" Cas breathed heavily, "I desire you. And I know I wish to feel you in ways unthinkable for a being such as me." His hand caught the one Dean had tangled in his hair, almost intent on stopping the angel but never committing to it, and he pinned it above the hunter's head commandingly. All the while never looking away from Dean. "What part of me do you doubt so? That I don't know what sexual desires would entail, hm?"
Dean was lost. It took a minute to process what happened. His pulse quickened at an alarming rate. He did not think Castiel pinning his hand would affect him this much.
He did not find the words nor the strength to communicate with them. He scoffed at Castiel's comment with amusement and pulled Cas into a heated kiss. It was as if his desire had finally broken out of a cage.
Dean began unravelling the blue necktie and undoing the buttons of Cas's shirt, that had been meticulously buttoned all the way up. Like a respectable man -unlike Dean- would. With his practiced movements he did not need to look, only feel his way. He felt the excited pulse on Cas's neck as his hands lingered on it when the undid shirt and tie gave way.
He stopped the kiss only to draw in breath. Castiel's eyes glowed slightly blue in the dark as if his powers had somehow overflown with his emotions. Dean paused to look in awe.
Feeling the hunter expose his skin to the cool night air made Cas sigh in contentment, nearly forgetting himself as he stared down at Dean. A smile graced his lips, dreamy and one that Dean could've taken to be intoxicated.
"I can finally feel you..." a tremulous moan left the angel's lips as Dean's fingers lingered over his neck and collarbone, descending to kiss him again as his hunger took over. He succumbed.
So consumed was his mind that Cas barely registered his hips grinding down into Dean's, moaning into the kiss.
Dean was flustered by Cas's remark. His hands trembled slightly as they opened the last button. He rose to sit and pushed Cas away gently. Not to reject but to admire his form. His glowing eyes and hopelessly dazed expression.
Dean opened Cas's belt and the last button on his pants that remained. He paused.
"Last chance, angel. Are you sure you want this?" He asked, demanding, even though at this point it was obvious they were both very much on board with this. Dean felt throbbing between his legs, he wanted, he needed, but his own uncertainty made him still ask Castiel.
Cas felt his face flush at the nickname. Why? It was a completely logical observation and yet- He frowned at Dean for stopping once again. Though there was little actual anger behind it.
"Still asking me that?" Castiel growled, his hips twitching as the hunter's fingers grazed almost where he most needed them. He grabbed Dean by his coat to pull him closer, leaning close until his lips could press kisses over his jaw and right beneath his ear.
"Toy with me at your own peril." He whispered, his fingers working to pull off the hunter's well-worn leather jacket. As he did, his hands ran over the muscled arms before snaking over his shoulder and upper back. His voice, though still commanding in tone, held another note to it: "Trust me, Dean." Cas murmured, his voice gentle.
Dean smirked but couldn't hide how vulnerable the small noises he let out sounded. He was partly ashamed. With women or men, he had always been striving undeniably for the gruff and unyielding masculine ideal of a man. Part of him surely was that, but he put some of that role aside for now. He had no such pretence of manliness with Cas.
He continued from where his hands had left off. He touched the front of Cas's fly he was about to open. Cas reacted to his touch, eager like a forlorn creature aching to be petted. Dean couldn't help thinking how long it had been since Castiel had had sex, if ever. To Dean all this time pining for Cas had felt like a hundred years without sex. He had never before hesitated to act upon his desires for this long.
"I will toy as I please," Dean proclaimed as he touched Cas's through his briefs. "I trust you to punish me accordingly if it comes to that." He added and groaned as he stroked Cas and moved his own hips seeking for relief.
Castiel scoffed, though before he could shoot back the sound quickly morphed into a low, stuttering moan at Dean's motions. The pressure felt a lot sharper now with less fabric in the way and Cas could almost feel his head spin from the unfamiliar sensations. His head rolled back with a sigh, beginning to rut his hips into the touch. So, this is what sexual gratification truly felt like.
"Oh..." His eyes fluttered open just enough to lock onto Dean's expressions. Something about the hunger he saw in those eyes, the rise and fall of his chest. Finally, his eyes settled on the bulge straining against his jeans and Cas's breath hitched for a brief moment, swallowing thickly. Had he any mind to care at that moment, he was sure that same hunger burned in his own eyes as well.
"Hang on, tiger." Dean purred against Castiel's neck before he pulled away. Dean began to open his own pants. He rose up as he stripped them, his hand still resting on Cas's shoulder. He got back on the bed only in his shiny black boxers.
Cas looked at him with such intensity one could mistake it for worship. Dean surmised he'd have felt less exposed had he stripped off the boxers that were now obscenely tight, especially in the front. He felt them emphasizing the shapely curves of his thighs, ass and genitals underneath.
Dean almost tore his tight T-shirt as he pulled it off so impatiently, his chest and abs tense from the stretching movement. Castiel's gaze lingered on every mark and tattoo on his body. Dean had to slow down. He wanted to take the attention all in.
Cas swallowed, eyes trailing across the bared skin of the hunter. It was almost hypnotic, his hand drawing closer as if in a daze. His fingers ran in light, feather-like touches. First over the devil's trap, over the curve of his defined chest, down the symbols dotting his side, along with a few sets of numbers Dean had never elaborated on much.
One time Dean had told at great length about these 'band tattoos', how these symbols were used by various artists. Fascinating, as Castiel knew a fair few of them in different ways, some of them were also actual magical marks. The more Dean had spoken about what they could've meant for each song, the more the intricacies behind such meanings gripped Cas. According to Sam, these talks could've ranged as far as many hours, but Cas remembered barely noticing, only wanting to hear more.
As his fingers came to rest over his ribcage, Cas stopped for a moment. The marks he remembered carving into his bones were more distinct for him for some reason, almost like a pale ethereal glow from beneath the hunter's skin. He stared at them for a long while.
Instinctively his eyes lifted upon Dean's bare shoulder and the handprint that marred it. Cas's face shifted into an apologetic frown. He bit his lip. It had been his desire to see Dean brought back from the pit and he'd do the same thousand times over if he had to, but something about having left such a brutal mark on the man made his chest tighten ever so slightly. Especially considering it was when he still thought of himself a servant of Heaven.
Dean tried to understand Cas's look.
"I know my skin ain't perfect to look at. Many scars besides the one you made," Dean commented to ease them into this.
He pressed Cas's chest and made him lie down as he climbed back onto the bed. Cas was like a pale marble sculpture in the dim light. Dean had purposefully left his shirt and jacket on and open. He liked to see the point between the Cas from before and Cas in this moment. A proper image broken by lust. Something someone else might consider imperfect, a crack in the glass. The flame of his blue eyes still followed the lines on his skin intently.
"Ones," Cas corrected with a wry smile, his fingers gently pressing against the unmarred part of the hunter's ribcage. He breathed deep as he allowed Dean to guide him down, the only response he could muster. He could feel his pulse hammering in his ears, rising as he felt the hunter's eyes roaming on his body. Something within them, ravenous enough to rival his own, yet that same mischievous glint that was so uniquely Dean Winchester.
'Perfect...?' Castiel thought to himself before smiling. As Dean often said, who needed perfection? All the marks littering the hunter's body only served to paint a picture of strength more perfect than any warrior Heaven could conjure.
Cas smirked up at Dean, emboldened by his clear effect on the man "Might not be the last I leave, considering that attitude of yours."
"M-hmm" Dean hummed approvingly. He felt Cas's touch tingling like small current of electricity. He remembered the Enochian carvings on his skeleton. It almost felt like the current took the shape of them as it went through him. It was the first time Dean loved the thought of being marked and claimed by an angel.
Dean reached down and kissed Cas's abdomen. He mouthed and kissed Cas's thick erection through his boxers. The angel arched his back and gasped in ecstasy. Dean paused and settled his face next to the hardness to tease him. "Hmm. An angel ready to fall?" He looked up and said smugly.
Taking a few breaths to recover from the sudden onslaught, Cas attempted to fix the hunter with glare. Though the effect was dampened somewhat by the shivers racing along his spine, ones he was certain Dean had noticed if the crooked smile was anything to go by. Cas grit his teeth.
"You have your answer- Hn...!!" He was cut off as Dean's hot breath danced over his exposed hips and stomach, biting his lip. ".... Don't you? Or is it begging you're after?"
"Oh, I just like to take my time." Dean said with a smile. He stripped Cas's boxers with laxed movements, hands on Cas's hips caressing the angel's sculpted thighs as the fabric was pulled down releasing his hard cock. Dean placed a kiss on the side of it and trailed his mouth up the length.
Cas's mouth fell open as low moans poured from his lips. His lids once more felt heavy, but his gaze remained focused. Eyes trained onto Dean's lips trailing up his length, making him shudder in anticipation. Once he reached the head the hunter teased him with long, wide laps of his tongue instead and Cas inhaled sharply. His hips stuttered. Dean chuckled quietly.
A couple times Dean lightly wrapped his lips around the head of the angel's cock, almost taking him inside, but always retreated back to only use his tongue. Cas gave out an almost desperate sigh, his eyes staring at the hunter in a haze.
Dean held his head stable, but let Cas thrust into his mouth slightly. Cas seemed almost shy and restricted with his movements, considering how pent-up and overtaken with lust he was. Dean licked the dripping precum before he bobbed his head down slow. Cas gripped the back of his head eagerly.
With his cock entirely enveloped by the hunter's mouth, Cas's head fell back onto the sheets with a blissful moan. The desire coursing through him was so overwhelming, it was almost painful, but so addicting that he couldn't help but chase it. Gradually he felt the control he'd held onto - more out of habit in response to the newness of the situation than any true uncertainty - starting to slip, his hips thrusting into Dean's mouth at a slow, deliberate pace. His fingers dug firmly into Dean's hair, pressing him down onto his cock.
More.
All that ran through Cas's mind was that he wanted more.
Dean noticed Cas's increasing want. He ran his fingers over the soft skin of Cas's thighs. He removed his mouth from his cock but relished the feeling of hardness against his lips. He replaced his mouth with his hand.
"I wanna see you come, just can't decide how. And not - yet." He smirked slyly.
Cas was about to protest the loss of the warmth, looking down with wide eyes. But those strong fingers wrapping around him stopped any words in his throat, breathing heavy as his eyes fluttered closed again. Dean's pace was decidedly unhurried, planting teasing kisses along the angel's hip bone. He desperately wanted Dean to move faster, his cock twitching more and more in the hunter's grip as he continued to tease him.
"Dean...." Cas whispered, trying to find the words, his fingers digging tightly into the sheets below. "Dean, just-.... Hhaahh- Please......"
So lost was Castiel to these sensations coursing through his human form that he didn't take notice of the odd tingling spreading down his nerve endings. It mounted, as did his desire until it grew into focus on two points on his back. A dim, blue glow flickered beneath the skin of his palms, traveling down his veins.
Dean could feel Cas was soon ready to come. His cock thrummed with his heartrate. It twitched in his hand when Dean stroked it gently. Dean could bet it was the good kind of ache near the edge of orgasm. But he figured that it could turn unpleasantly torturous if he'd tease for too long.
"Maybe I need to go easy on you. First time with a human, right?" Dean said with a soft head tilt.
Dean resumed his strokes. And tightened his grip just so. He of course could only guess what kind of touch Cas liked but based on the needy noises Cas made anytime his palm went over his glans, he
gathered that Cas enjoyed this as much as he would have.
Cas could only gasp, losing his breath as the electric delight grew into a mind-numbing surge, his entire body trembling and his muscles taut. His head slammed back into the pillow as his back arched off the bed as he came, his cock spasming as white coated Dean's fingers. The shocks coursing through his veins left behind a warmth akin to sinking into warm water, only Dean's weight over his thighs and hips anchored him to reality.
When Cas finally recovered enough to open his eyes, the first thing he noticed was Dean's wide eyes staring at him; at his eyes, but also behind him. What was in his stare? Both want, awe and.... Worry, even? "Dean...?"
Cas whispered in confusion, voice still slightly strained. Hearing a familiar flutter of feathers behind him, as well as now recognizing that itching feeling of feathers over his back and hands, Cas understood. Though his mind was still too hazy for him to answer properly.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Dean was startled by the sudden appearance of raven black wings and the now intense blue glow in the angel’s eyes and arms. The wings were so big they hung over the bed and the tip of one of them almost touched the nearby bookcase. The slightly beaten-up feathers fluttered in the soft draft that came from a small old window above the bed. Dean stared open-mouthed and rose to look at them better. Had they always been black or were they scorched?
Dean ran his other hand over Cas's hand, stunned. He noticed that the tips of Cas's fingers and nails were also black as if covered in shiny soot. Dean tried not to show the small-minded and ingrained fear of monsters he had developed over the years. After the initial knee-jerk-reaction, he found his reverence for the vision of Castiel's angelic form amplified. His being was simply breathtaking. As a hunter he could appreciate every detail. He had never seen anything like this.
"Cas? A-are you alright?" Dean asked voice suddenly small. He swallowed, taken aback like he was seeing something forbidden. He turned his eyes to look down at the obsidian soot marks climbing over Cas's hands.
Cas's eyes followed Dean's. He didn't answer, lifting his hand to look at it closer. The sight of the blackened skin, as well as the soft, downy charcoal feathers appearing over the back of his palm were as of yet unfamiliar to the angel, though he supposed he shouldn't be surprised at this point. His throat clenched as his face shifted into an expression of sorrow; This was a sign of final rejection. Loss of everything familiar to him.
His eyes flickered up at Dean, noticing how the hunter still held his blackened hand in his own. The waver in his deep voice didn't escape his notice and a feeling of shame made his throat feel too tight to breathe. Suddenly he was unable to meet Dean's gaze. Ashamed under the look of fear Dean seemed to react with. An abomination on all accounts now, I suppose, Cas thought to himself, all the blissful warmth from before seeming to leave his body in an instant. His wings instinctively curled up.
"I-" Dean started his voice trembling, he looked back into the glowing blue eyes. As Dean sat up Cas's expression was dishevelled. His chest rose and fell rhythmically with his heavy breathing. Dean swallowed again. The words got stuck into his throat. "I'm sorry. You are. You are..." Dean gave up, blushed, reached for the nightstand and took a tissue. He looked back at Castiel shyly as he focused on wiping his hand while he calmed his nerves.
"You are so beautiful." Dean finally said softly and looked at Cas, intense with lust and love to boost the confidence of the statement that his rattled voice lacked.
Castiel turned to Dean with a slight frown, brows furrowed like they often were when something in the human world confused him and his mind would work overtime to make sense of it. But more ardent than the confusion and doubt, there was an aching hope in his chest as he took in the flustered hunter's stare. A hope to believe those words, that this charred, damaged form of his wouldn't drive Dean away.
Without breaking eye contact Cas rose to prop himself on his elbows. He sat up and closer, wobbling slightly as his limbs still felt unsteady from the intense high. Dean blinked in surprise but didn't move away, which reassured Cas to speak. "... As monstrous as I am?" He rasped so quietly it was barely above a whisper, his voice earnest, eyes staring deep into Dean's. His fingers came to squeeze the hunter's own.
Dean hadn't gotten used to such tender attention from anyone, not from any woman nor man and Castiel just did it naturally. It was just handholding and a soulful intense stare, Dean tried to rationalize. But still his heart skipped a beat.
"Cas... I've never- I've never felt like this. So I- I have to say it." Dean paused and looked at their hands, linked, Cas's slender fingers wrapping around his. "In fact right now, you are-" Dean let out a frustrated sigh as he couldn't say it after all. He paused and said the rest of it in his head: '-the most beautiful thing I've seen.' Cas's expression softened and he tilted his head lovingly, almost like he had heard Dean's thought. Dean paused, still unsure if he had said it for real after all but he let it be. He let his eyes wander over the angel's body and the wings that had materialized, they went through Cas's coat and open shirt like they were only partly physical.
The wings had perked up and now leaned forward to Dean. Dean touched one of them with his left hand. The feathers felt plush but firm, the wing twitched under his hand when he stroked it from the base to the ends of the sharp longer feathers. If Dean didn't know any better, Cas seemed to curl into his touch. Dean raised his eyebrows smugly.
"You actually have no idea how hot you are." Dean blurted out under his breath.
Cas exhaled softly as Dean's fingers ran along his feathers, pleasant little tremors ran along his back and goosebumps spread over his skin. It was almost shameful, but even that touch - light as it was - was enough to stoke the desire from before back to life.
Cas leaned forward until his face settled into the crook of the hunter's neck, lips hungrily running over his skin and eagerly taking in how his breath shook at the contact. His wings came to wrap around both of them and his hand ran down along Dean's stomach. His fingers rested over the bulge straining beneath Dean's boxers and Cas noticed a damp spot on the fabric.
He pulled back just enough to stare heatedly into the hunter's eyes as his fingers wrapped around his cock. Cas swallowed as he felt it jolt against his palm.
"Oh, okay. I expected you to have more reservations about touching me." Dean whispered out of breath. He grinded into Castiel's hand and closed his eyes. The touch was unexpectedly sure and firm, experienced. Of course, any touch from Cas felt intense. But still, Dean wondered that maybe the angel knew more about sex or self-pleasure than he'd given him credit for.
His boxers were already damp with precum, so he didn't even bother removing them. The only thing of interest to him was now Cas and how his rough hand slid tightly against his shaft.
Cas quirked his brow at Dean. "You expected me to be reserved after all that?" He asked, a tiny bit of amusement in his voice. "After being unravelled in such a fashion?" His eyes trailed downward as he snuck his hand beneath Dean's boxers, biting his lip as he wrapped his fingers around the heated cock. He worked in slow, deliberate motions, dexterously mapping any the sensitive spots with his fingers that made Dean shudder and moan under his breath. "I say it's only right I return the favor with some interest."
Cas thought it peculiar himself; It had been a long time since he had embraced anyone in such a way and a first time with a human at that. In any other circumstances he would feel some apprehension about acting so brazenly, even with Balthazar he had hesitated...
But this was different. Dean was different. Maybe it was the man's own self-assurance that was contagious when it came to sexual intimacy, or maybe it was his trust in Dean that enabled Cas to express his desires. Something that had already taken root in his very being. Maybe he simply wished to see Dean flustered, it certainly was a tempting sight.
Whatever the case, it felt as though all that doubt had been pulled off his shoulders like a heavy cloak.
He leaned close until their lips nearly met, his eyes glowing once more as he eagerly took in each of Dean's expressions, each little sound Dean seemed to be holding back. Cas bit Dean's plump lip, a gentle, short love bite.
"Then return the favor. Anything to take my mind off from the stupid angel wars." Dean whispered against Cas's lips. He relaxed into his touch and leaned into him. As sweet as it felt to approach an orgasm, he stopped Cas's hand. The angel squinted his eyes at him.
Dean pressed Cas back to lie on the mattress. The wings opened from around them and were splayed on the bed again. Dean straddled Cas's upper waist. Nearly so close that he could shove his cock into Cas's mouth if he wanted, but he took his glimmering blackened hand and placed it back on his crotch instead.
"You look good from up here. Still flushed." Dean taunted affectionately.
Cas was surprised by the sudden action, his eyes wide. But he recovered quickly as Dean settled above him, huffing indignantly at the hunter's words. It was a heady sight; With Dean staring down at him, that smirk on those lips slightly swollen from the force of their kisses before, how those strong thighs enveloped his body. As the hunter guided his fingers a thought came to Cas and he smiled then, only a tiny bit, as he resumed his steady movements over Dean's cock. His grip was much lighter though, earning an impatient growl from Dean.
Carefully, Cas channelled just a tiny amount of his heavenly radiance through his hand, the blue glow travelling over the veins of his blackened palm. He remembered such ministrations would feel pleasurable if done correctly – a warm, powerful tingling sensation – but he was careful not to overwhelm Dean as he wasn't sure just how much the human body could handle. From the way Dean's whole body stiffened his surprised gasps, it looked to be good. But still, Cas vigilantly scanned the hunter's expressions.
"Oh, fuck." Dean moaned, his voice low and husky. "I'd like to come right over that pretty face of yours. Push against those pouty lips while I pulse..." He couldn't help himself saying out loud what was on his mind, but he stopped halfway when a jolt of pleasure ran through him, his body anticipating and chasing that orgasm.
Cas's hand vibrated intensely. Dean never knew angelic magic could be applied like this.
"Hm...." Cas hummed in approval, mesmerized by how Dean was losing himself to the newfound sensations. He shifted just enough to run his lips over the underside of Dean's weeping cock, mercilessly teasing the tip with his tongue. The hunter's breathing grew rapid as his hips bucked up into Cas, still teetering right at the edge.
Before he could let him fall Cas wrapped his fingers firmly around the base, keeping Dean just so.
Dean's groan broke into an out of breath whimper. Clearly embarrassed by it, but he felt so good that the shame added into the all-consuming lewdness of his body begging for him to come. He let his mouth hang open as he panted, his body tense with yearning. Desperate like a pent-up man-whore ready to breed, he tried to push deeper into Cas's mouth. He knew he would come in an instant if not for Cas's fingers. The anticipation was killing him in the sweetest way.
His hand slid over Cas's chest beneath his open shirt and jacket. When it reached the right shoulder, his wing reacted a bit with a shudder. As if a mere shoulder touch had been somewhat erotic and intimate.
A low, pleased hum vibrated from Cas, quirking his brow at the debauched hunter. "So impatient..." Cas huffed out a small laugh. Cas wished to embed this sight into his memory. It was so addicting he could feel himself salivating. He took the sensitive head of Dean's cock in his mouth while one hand still focused the current of energy over the shaft in languid strokes. All the while his free hand kept its steady grip.
"I think I understand now. I'm also unsure how I wish to see you come undone." Cas mused, giving a few light sucks before retreating again.
Dean sighed longingly. His heartbeat thumped in his ears and he felt the pulse in his own genitalia. His hips involuntarily tried to push forward even though Cas held him back from continuing to thrust into his mouth.
Despite the haze of uncontrollable lust, he never remembered being this present with sex. He usually just took what he wanted. He had never felt so absolute in his want as with Cas. He had never even waited so long for fulfilment of his fantasies as with Castiel, and still he had denied himself that on many occasions. He still couldn't believe they were doing this. But it felt so good to finally give in.
"Please," Dean said softly, his breath still uneven as he petted Castiel's bare shoulder and feathers near his wing's base.
The look in Dean's eyes made Cas's breath hitch, the tremor in his pleading voice. His own expression softened. He could feel himself becoming achingly hard once again, Dean's touch over his shoulder making him tremble.
"Dean...." he rasped, "I... I'm afraid I need even more of you.... I want you. I want to take you. I want to see you lose yourself against my face. This... want.... It's burning me up... I need all you can give me." There was an apologetic tone in his voice, strained with lust as it was. He feared he was pushing Dean too far, that his body couldn't handle how Cas wanted to utterly devour him.
Cas let slightly more of his grace flow through his fingers and though he still held firm with his grip at the base, he allowed Dean to thrust slightly into his mouth. The strained whine this wrenched from the hunter made Cas shiver.
The crushing pleasure with no relief made Dean’s mind melt. He had slightly settled into the mindset for edging, he'd need to quicken up the pace if he wanted to cum. The grip acting like a cock ring ensured he couldn't as easily. He closed his eyes and thrusted slowly into Cas's mouth. He moaned all the way, not even caring if anyone heard him. They'd think he was watching porn probably. He was at peace with that. I mean who wouldn't wanna go out with a bang if they knew the world was possibly gonna end?
Cas looked so vulnerable, totally under Dean's control, just as much as Dean was under the angel’s control. He could get used to this. Often, Dean felt like he had no influence on when Cas would do what. He couldn't deny the power trip he got from the situation: Castiel, a fierce rebel angel literally locked between his thighs pleading for him. They were both equals, entangled to the point that they needed each other on the most intimate level.
Dean continued to fuck Cas's face. He was surprised how natural Castiel seemed to be with oral sex. Usually, people needed to practice not to use too much teeth.
"You've... hhh... ah- done this before?" Dean asked in between his movements before he stopped again to collect himself.
Cas took a moment to breathe as Dean pulled away. He felt feverish as he stared up, almost forgetting to answer entirely. "Yes..." He swallowed, "Y-yes, some... things."
The hand that had previously stroked Dean's cock moved to run over the hunter's thighs and Cas felt him jolt slightly. He brought his hand to lightly grasp his hip, silently urging him to continue. "I did say I'm not entirely unfamiliar with such acts." Cas hummed, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
"Gods, if I knew about that, I'd have thought you doing this every time I've touched myself." Dean said reverently before pushing himself in again. He tossed his head back and closed his eyes, his heavy sigh echoing in the room. "Cas, ah, fuck. Ah I'm gonna come." He whispered. He still had his hand between Cas's shoulder and wing. His fingertips resting onto plush feathers, he repeated Cas's name like a prayer.
Dean felt fingers dig into his thigh and ass. Dean reached for Cas's hand and guided it to cover his mouth, to muffle his needy, out-of-control sounds. Just like that one time Cas had pinned him to a wall and Dean had shamefully fantasized about that small moment ever since.
Cas obliged, his eyes staring hungrily into Dean's own as he placed his palm over the hunter's mouth. There was desperation in those eyes that made Cas let out a sound that could only be described as a growl, his eyes glowing as they narrowed in a silent command.
With a moan that resonated deep in his chest, Castiel succumbed, his eyes fluttering closed as Dean used his mouth for his satisfaction. Dean's trembling whispers, the way Cas could hear the hunter's thrumming heartbeat, they filled his senses so utterly it was like nothing else existed around him. The thought of Dean touching himself to such mental images sent powerful shudders down his spine. Cas felt his dick twitch in the cold night air.
Slowly, he finally eased his grip on the hunter's cock, pressing those fingers into the skin right around the base, now letting even more of the energy flow through his hands. At the same time, he bobbed his head over Dean's length and sucked, letting his tongue run over the underside of the heated shaft.
Dean gasped against Cas' hand. The pleasure was so intense that he felt tears forming into his eyes. His body slumped forward as he moved one final time and came, almost clawing at Cas, moaning loudly against his hand warmed by his erratic breathing. He stilled in the mouth, though he still pulsed for a long while.
Dean's head hung low. He opened his tear-stained eyes to look at Cas as he pulled out of his mouth. Cas seemed to still recount the climax he had just witnessed. The erotic way his lips smacked when he released Dean's overly sensitive reddened member. How he looked up at Dean's body like some hungry little thing. Semen dripping from his lips and tongue. Cas's hand slipped away from his mouth, dropping onto the sheets beside him. Dean let out a breath as he looked at Cas, thoroughly smitten.
Cas looked at him, his glowing eyes just as intense and tender, as if they both had simultaneously realized something deeply personal about each other. Something more than just sex. It was as if there was now an extra beat in Dean's heart reserved for that emotion. It couldn't have been love. But something unknown. It terrified Dean.
Cas swallowed the hunter's essence, his eyes flickering down to his dirtied fingers. He brought them up to his mouth, his expression dazedly curious, and cleaned them off with his tongue. Looking back up he noticed Dean biting his lip at the sight and Cas felt his face heat up.
For a long, silent moment they just stayed like that. Gently, Cas's hands settled to rest on Dean's hips, the firm press offering similar comfort as when he enclosed the hunter's hand in his own.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Cas knew certain emotions were tough for his hunter. Human emotions and their complexities might have still been somewhat of an enigma to him, but after all this time with Dean, even Cas had been able to pick up on when the hunter would close himself off.
There was a soothing warmth to Dean, something he'd shown Cas more and more openly especially when they were alone. But the hunter still treaded carefully. Castiel, while not knowing the words for it, understood that uncertainty. And he wished to give Dean something to anchor him.
With quick movements, Cas reversed their positions. Dean was thrown onto his back on the mattress. Cas hovered above him, both his wings and his body caging Dean onto the bed.
As he gazed into the green eyes, his hand travelled up his arm and with deliberate movements he pressed his palm over the handprint marring Dean's shoulder. He hoped his touch could convey what he doubted his words could of such complicated feelings.
You don't need to say anything.
A strange feeling of unity took fully over. Erotic and transcendental at the same time. Cas's words echoed in Dean's mind. Telepathy?
Dean didn't dwell on it, he just looked at Cas, thankful for their mutual understanding. He was an emotional wreck when you added to the equation how small and flustered beyond belief Castiel's manhandling made him feel. He drew in a panicked breath, scared of his attraction yet again. A being of great power looming over him like an ominous but majestic bird of prey.
Before Dean would've never allowed himself to enjoy or admit how safe he felt under Castiel right now. But now it hit him none-the-less. Cas always watched over him, instead of finding it insulting or creepy, he felt relief and loyalty. He felt through their bond they would die for each other if need be. Even if Dean knew all hope was lost and he was going to give in to Michael, he still, still felt some spark in him. What if. What if?
Castiel's palm was still on the handprint. It vibrated with an eerie glow.
Hold me, Dean thought while looking at Cas intently.
Cas's eyes went wide as his breath hitched. A warm, tingling sensation traveled down from the back of his head and down the nape of his neck as Dean's voice resounded in his mind. With an expression of wonder, he slowly brought a hand to cradle Dean's face with his palm, then brought their lips together. I won't let go.
Dean's breathing began to even out. Like some lock had been opened in his mind. The remaining traces of anger at their hopeless situation were gone. For now, he was at peace. Cas was the only thing he wanted. Dean still couldn't believe the angel felt the same way about him, but that feeling radiated from Cas.
Dean's arms wrapped around his back and, once again, his fingers buried themselves into the silky feathers at the base of Cas's wings. The sensation added to the fervor from their connection and Cas shuddered, groaning into the kiss."Are they truly that odd to the touch?" Cas whispered, quirking his brow as he pulled away and an almost teasing lilt to his tone. He didn't retreat far, letting his forehead rest against the hunter's.
"They are soft. Cool to the touch, but on you they look kinda... hot." Dean said as a truthful pick-up line. Castiel tilted his head, presumably confused at first which temperature his wings were then. So Dean rephrased: "I mean, you- on you they look..." Dean looked down at Cas's lips again. He leaned into his ear: "The sight of you, like this, makes me wanna open my legs for you."
Dean inhaled Cas's scent and rubbed his nose and lips against Cas's neck.
"Mmmh..." A pleased, dreamy hum vibrated in Cas's chest from such brazen words, his wings trembling from Dean's touches. His hand travelled over Dean's sculpted chest, Cas sighing at the suppleness of it, then stopping right above the Enochian symbols. He let a small amount of his powers flow through his fingers and Dean gasped for breath, his hands clinging to the angel's back.
"So wanton," Cas muttered, his voice somewhere between arousal and fascination. He settled so his hips were pressing down onto Dean's own, grinding their crotches together as his other hand rested atop Dean's thigh. "And you make me want to fill you until you can take no more, " he murmured, the hand on Dean's thigh pressing encouragingly.
Even though Dean had come just a little while ago, he felt a familiar warmth in his chest, spreading everywhere in his body. He knew he would be getting hard again as soon it'd be possible.
"Y'know, since it's a last night on earth type-a-thing again. I was going to do this alone today anyway... and that's why I... was hoping... uh, I prepared. To do something." Dean braved through his embarrassment even if he rambled a bit.
Cas quirked his brow at the hunter. He pulled away enough to allow Dean room to move, to get what he needed. "Is such a ritual common for you humans? Back when we summoned Raphael you said something similar," Cas mused, seeming to really ponder it.
Dean stammered for a moment. "Uh... sure, maybe, at least for me it is. Because why not do it all if you're going to die soon? Dying with your cowboy-boots on, y'know."
Dean reached into his nightstand's drawer. There was a bottle of lube, half-empty. He had used it more than he had thought when staying at Bobby's. For all intents and purposes this had been his room for the whole apocalypse debacle.
He saw Cas eyeing the other toys in his drawer. Many kinds. Dean didn't elaborate or comment, he just shoved the drawer close quickly, feeling a bit exposed.
Cas glanced back at Dean curiously but held his tongue. The hunter seemed eager to move on and though unfamiliar, the shapes of some of the items gave Cas a vague idea of their use. Perhaps they'd sate his curiosity later. If they'd ever get the chance.
Dean popped the bottle open and took Cas's hand in his, spreading the lube over his fingers. Then, while pulling Cas down for a kiss, Dean guided his fingers between his legs, spreading them to guide the fingers over his hole. Cas breathed out a sigh at the lustful display, noticing how Dean averted his eyes with a profound redness dusting his cheeks.
"It just feels better with your fingers in..." he said. He pressed Cas's hand to show how to move. "Just there. Curve a bit up and..." he instructed, his voice low from want again. "Yes..." he sighed as Cas's fingers hit him the right way, filling him quite nicely girth-wise too.
"As you feel. I'm pretty loose and ready to begin with so... if uh- Whenever you want." he gave a nod at the bottle of lube and then hooked his legs over Cas's hips and nudged him toward himself to show what he meant.
Cas hummed in understanding, though he still took his time with his fingers. More because the sight was too arousing for Cas to want to move on immediately than anything else. He focused his movements on that spot that made Dean's breath hitch, gently grazing his free hand over the hunter's cock that was slowly waking back to life. Dean groaned impatiently and moved against Cas's digits, looking up with a slight glare. Cas simply tilted his head, as curious as usual.
Dean was about to speak, but right then Cas gently used his grace once again, both over his cock as well as inside him. He was much more careful this time, only allowing a slight flow through as to not make it too painful and intense. The way Dean gasped, how his arm flew to cover his mouth made Cas groan in satisfaction and bite his lip, staring at him through half-lidded eyes.
Dean was startled at the sudden sparks of bliss again. Cas's hands, now there was a kink he never thought he'd developed. But holy hell, real Magic Fingers, straight from his fantasies, c'mon.
"Damn..." that was all he could muster. That and the scrambled thoughts Cas had heard judging by that small smile. The vibrations from Cas' hands made him just lean back in ecstasy and go non-verbal with the occasional curse slipping from his lips.
"You've gotten used to my powers faster than I expected." Cas mused, half to himself. The sight of Dean so lost to the feeling, with his cock hard again, leaking precum as Cas's fingers brushed over that sweet spot inside. It was both a fascinating and appetizing display in equal measure for him. Were he not feeling impatient himself, Cas might've kept on far longer.
He focused a surge of energy over Dean's prostate for two continuous seconds before pulling out entirely, shuddering at the breathless curses this earned from the hunter. Cas reached for the lube and applied it over his palm before spreading it steadily over his own cock, hissing at the cool sensation.
Turning back to Dean, he noticed the hunter staring at him in a daze and Cas's expression softened with adoration. The trust he saw in those hazel eyes now again filled with tears of ecstasy. It made Cas want to keep him here. Caged, safe beneath his form, with his worry and alertness melted away. Heavenly wars be damned.
Swallowing as Cas felt a sudden lump in his throat, he settled atop Dean again, diving to catch the hunter's lips into a kiss as he guided himself inside. Cas trembled at the onslaught of pleasure and had to brace himself for a moment, his head hung low as his eyes squeezed shut and fingers clenching at the sheets beside them. Feeling Dean pulse and tighten around him, taking him so eagerly... Cas had expected this might feel overwhelming, but it still caught him off-guard. And he was only half-way in.
He looked up at Dean, his lips slightly parted as he breathed shakily. There was an apologetic look in his eyes, an expression of genuine worry as his eyes glimmered in a bright ring of blue.
I'm sorry, I can't hold back.
Dean put his hand to Castiel's tousled head of hair and pulled him closer into an embrace. "Feels good doesn't it?" Dean whispered with a strained voice against Cas's ear as he adjusted to the feeling of being so filled. "Mm you're a big boy." He couldn't help but smugly state it. Castiel was bigger than he'd expected, but at this moment the perfect size for him really.
"You can move," he reassured as Cas had stopped in his tracks. He clenched his hole on purpose and was pleased when Castiel seemed to fall apart at the sensation, groaning against him.
Cas closed his eyes as he buried his face into the crook of his neck. He attempted to get his breathing under control. Dean's scent – a comforting melding of warm musk, leather with traces of whiskey – anchored him. He'd found himself yearning to experience that very scent more closer, but it also stoked the new-found hunger burning in his very being. And with Dean's encouragement, he felt the last vestiges of his control snap one by one.
Wrapping his arms tightly around the hunter's back, Cas buried his himself deeper, beginning a slow rhythm that made him tremble with each thrust. His breathing was erratic, Dean's name slipping reverently from his lips more and more.
At one point his cock brushed over the hunter's sweet spot and the moan that resounded right by his ear was something Cas wanted to carve into in his mind forever like the marks and tattoos on Dean’s skin.
Dean pulsated so deliciously around him as Cas again slipped completely inside, beginning a harder, more deliberate rhythm as well as picking up the pace. He heard a whine from Dean and breathy apologies fell from his lips, but their pace never faltered.
Almost unconsciously Cas's hand searched for the handprint on Dean's shoulder, desperately gripping onto it as if a lifeline.
This was the closest thing to worship Dean Winchester had ever experienced or partaken in. Worship of mutual nature. Cas's grace touching his mark, melding into him. Physically entering him, their minds connected, skin to skin.
Dean's version of holiness and reverence had always been the mundane things, sex being one of them. Cas and him, connected in every conceivable way. It was the closest thing to divine love he'd ever experienced. At the same time, he was terrified of these emotions that flooded his senses again, combined with and triggered by extreme earthly pleasures.
"Oh Cas." He sighed as if replacing name of a god with Castiel.
His breath hitched and he opened his legs wider. His cock was now fully throbbing in between them. It was slick still from cum and saliva from earlier. Cas's abdomen rubbed against it as he moved.
Dean's voice resounded all around him, both his sounds of pleasure as well as the flood of his emotions crashing over Castiel like a tidal wave. It felt like he was drowning, barely gasping for breath, yet all he wanted was to be consumed by such utter, deep connection. He could feel his own thoughts flowing through their bond as well, all that he'd previously held behind ironclad walls seeping through the cracks in streams.
Dean.
I love you.
I want you.
You won't be alone.
I'll watch over you—
—no matter what.
—my world—
—Please don't leave me—
Cas clutched Dean close to him as the combined pleasure in addition to the maelstrom of sheer emotion made his chest feel as though it could explode. He wasn't even sure anymore if his voice repeating Dean's name like a chant was his physical voice or within their minds. His pace became faster and faster, his hand grabbing onto Dean's waist, pushing him down on his cock with wild abandon.
Heavenly radiance now coursed through Cas so powerfully even he could feel it, the strong vibration making him choke on air as the pleasure climbed in intensity. He felt Dean's hardness jolt against his stomach, the flow of energy given off by the hand pushing him down seeming to have an effect without even touching it. He could feel the first sparks of their orgasm approaching and Cas gasped for breath, burying his face into Dean's neck.
Dean pawed at his pillow, Cas, the sheets. His body didn't know how to be. His head tossed from one side to another as he moaned in heat. Cas's hardness filling him and pleasing him so completely. His balls sweetly squeezed when Cas pushed all the way in. His toes and fingers curled.
Cas, Cas, Cas…
He gripped Cas's shoulder tight. Mirroring Cas's hand on the handprint mark. Like a mark of unity carved onto his flesh. As if he'd burn a mirroring one on Cas's. Talk about wearing his heart on his sleeve.
Cas inside him was so hard that Dean knew he'd come undone any second. Oh fuck, it was so hot Dean was utterly over the edge when he felt Cas's hand on his waist. The energy from his hand radiating to his erogenous zones on his hips and lower back, his genitalia.
Cas held onto him like the most precious thing in existence even through the haze of his unyielding feral sex-drive. He heard Cas growl, getting utterly lost in him.
Vibrations of celestial intent resonated in so many parts of Dean's body. His back arched as the most intensive, all-encompassing orgasm he'd ever had, rattled all his senses.
As Dean reached his peak Cas pulled back, just enough to witness him losing himself as the pleasure finally overwhelmed him. The hunter's body going taut and his expression somewhere between anguish and an all-consuming bliss, the last look of Dean's tear-filled eyes before his head fell back.... Cas let out a trembling moan at the sight. The sounds coming from Dean once treaded close to a scream and Cas was no better.
Cas glowed above him, his wings tensing and wavering. Grace surrounding him, the blue and golden radiance contrasted by black wings and fingernails. The angel looked like he'd barely hold it together. His shining eyes almost terrified in the face of their connection. If Dean didn't know anything better, it seemed like Cas was experiencing rapture, love of some form for the first time in all of his existence.
Dean's fingers dug hard into Cas' shoulder. He could feel how his nails would surely leave their marks. Dean heard Castiel's keen wish that Dean's grip could brand his form, that he'd bear the hunter's mark no matter how many times he'd be reconstituted.
The way Dean's hole clenched tight, pulsing rapidly with his heartbeat made Cas' head spin. He could do nothing but cling onto Dean, and after a few more hard, deep thrusts, the electrifying wave washed over him. It shook him to the very core and his form crouched over Dean's, his eyes screwed shut tight as he jolted and spasmed in the sweet, unrelenting grip of Dean's body, releasing in hot spurts. His wings stretched into their full length above them, shuddering almost violently.
In these few moments, for Castiel it truly felt like his very being had been irreversibly melded with Dean's. This blissful state continued for a long while, with Cas's cock still twitching inside Dean. It took a while before Cas's senses returned to him, after a few breaths his eyes looked for Dean's.
Dean's eyes were unfocused and only barely open, his chest rising and falling with his labored breathing. Instinctively Cas brought his hand to cup Dean's cheek, trying to get the hunter to look at him. "Dean?" Cas's voice was uncharacteristically small, only a hoarse, fretting whisper.
The hand on his cheek made Dean focus on his face again. He was still processing all that had happened. He could only smile at Cas at first, his voice was burnt out. He wondered was this little dork actually worried about him. After a few breaths he still answered: "Cas, I'm fine. I'm more than fine."
Cas's expression relaxed, averting his eyes from Dean with a slight, embarrassed frown. His gaze took in Dean's state instead; His skin flushed from his freckled cheeks down to his neck and chest, the way it shone slightly from sweat.
Delicious, Cas's immediate thought that rang between them. Angels never got hungry, yet there the reaction was, something akin to hunger.
"I got carried away.... Using my abilities in such ways is still a bit new to me. I thought it could hurt you." Cas spoke, still not meeting Dean's eyes. "But it would be a lie if I said I didn't enjoy it wholeheartedly."
Dean pulled him down and kissed his jawline. "I'd say it turned out alright," his voice wavering a bit. A blush crept on his cheeks. He let out a deep breath. He usually would shut up about this, but he was so satisfied that he ended up just telling the truth. Cas could hear his thoughts anyway: "I don't remember when have I ever come that hard."
Dean's whole body was more relaxed than it had been in years. He didn't want to move. After months of stress maybe going to sleep was finally in the cards for him.
At first Dean's action caught Cas by surprise, for a small moment blinking almost owlishly at him. But quickly his expression softened again. He settled to lie against Dean, savoring the hunter's scorching body heat. His cock was still buried inside Dean, and he hoped the hunter didn't mind, wishing he could stay for just a little while longer. His wings curled up around them, almost protectively.
Cas still felt rather shaken himself. The flurry of emotions that had led to this certainly felt unorthodox, to say the least. And the bond he and Dean now shared, how vulnerable and exposed they felt... He should have felt some unease, but instead a calm certainty settled around them, the kind Castiel hadn't known in any version of Heaven he'd retreated into.
Unfamiliar tiredness also weighed on Cas, his eyelids heavy as it became harder and harder to focus. Hearing Dean chuckle, he glared up half-heartedly, though the words got stuck in his throat when he saw none of the mockery usually present if he was about to throw one of the usual remarks. Cas averted his eyes. "It seems the act took a lot out of me as well." Cas said, his expression a confused frown. He noticed Dean's face mirroring his own from the corner of his eye. "It's... Peculiar. My entire body feels heavy." His words trailed off for a moment, fighting to keep his focus. But Dean felt so pleasant beneath him, around him. "Could be that... the sudden burst of energy wore on me."
"Mh-hmm... indeed." Dean mumbled. He put his arms around Cas and pulled him into an embrace. He stroked the angel's black head of wavy hair, now messy from their mutual bonding session. Cas staying inside him was relaxing. It made the afterglow better.
"Don't pull out yet. I wanna stay like this just a while." Dean squeezed him a little tighter. A hug within a hug.
Dean's fingers felt to Castiel like it was the hunter's turn to tease the angel with unfamiliar powers and the sound that escaped Cas before he could stop it could only be described as a purr. His eyes fluttered and closed as he let himself fully fall into Dean's hold, resting his head against Dean's chest.
"I'm... glad you... do..." Cas barely managed to mumble out, his words slurring as he felt sleep overtake him. He heard Dean's calm, steady heartbeat, lulling him deeper.
For now, Dean was here. He was safe. The fear and fury he'd felt when Dean had almost given up was far in the distance now. And while their situation felt more dire with each passing second, right now Cas held in his hands all that had become dear to him. All that had and would make him fall. That was enough for Castiel to face whatever lay waiting ahead. He would make sure Dean would survive, would make sure there was a world they could return to. Even if he had to tear open the very heavens himself, even if he'd cease to exist.
Though his consciousness was fading, his fingers grasped tightly onto Dean's wrist, holding on firmly as he surrendered.
Dean felt safe under Castiel's weight. No discomfort whatsoever, just reassuring pressure of Castiel's body leaning against him. He would regret not cleaning them in the morning. But what the hell, it was the end of the world. Maybe angels and demons would roast the world when they slept. No matter, right now everything felt good to him.
Dean found it surprising that Cas had seemed to fall asleep. Do angels even dream? Cas didn’t answer his thought. Whatever, Dean liked being able to see him vulnerable, so trusting. He couldn’t help but feeling some type-a-way about it, something too mushy to admit.
Their slow breathing matched each other, in and out like one entity. Dean arms still rested on Cas's back. The black wings rose and fell with their breathing. Soft feathers stirred with the breeze from the window. Dean stroked them as he closed his eyes to fall asleep, just in case they wouldn't be there in the morning.
The cold drafty room felt pleasantly temperate and cozy for the first time since Dean had begun staying at Bobby's house.
°°°A little earlier, outside°°°
Sam breathed in deep the crisp night air, his steps unhurried as he passed the rows and rows cars. He could've gone over any notes in preparation, but he knew he needed a moment for anything else. Something to occupy his mind for a small while.
After Dean had been brought home, beaten, unconscious and carried by a fuming Cas, Sam had been worried beyond belief. The angel had given little explanation upon his return, but the look in his eyes gave Sam enough of an idea. His own despair he'd kept at bay until that point had spiked into a choking pressure, seeing Dean pushed to the point he'd give up.
Sam bit his lip. Dean had previously been always the one to push through, so this sight, in addition to how Dean had been acting more and more despondent with each of their plans failing, it was heartbreaking on a whole new level.
When Sam had taken notice of the noises coming from the room Dean had been left in, he couldn't help an exasperated sigh. It was almost relieving – This was in character for Dean at least – but as the noises continued on for some time Sam rolled his eyes. Dean could indulge in all the porn he desired, but Sam decided he wanted to be anywhere he didn't need to hear it.
His steps brought him towards the shed and he noticed Bob standing there against the doorframe, beer in hand. The elder hunter noticed him and shot him a knowing look. Sam sighed with a weary smile. "You too?"
Bobby took a swig from his beer and nodded: "Yup, just calming my nerves. Heard some god-awful racket downstairs. I remember Dean is not in the panic room, maybe Cas just left him into his room. I sneak around, ready to jump into gear-" Bobby held a pause and shrugged, "and wouldn't ya know it, sounds like there was some different kinda beating goin' on." He shook his head and looked to the distance: "Was like alright, I need to get some fresh air."
Sam laughed, rubbing his forehead tiredly. "Tell me about it." He sighed "Though I suppose you could call this progress, if this is the first thing he does after waking up from getting his ass handed to him. Better this than having to invent new ways to bind a person just to keep him from throwing in the towel..." Sam spoke with a morose frown.
"I suppose you're right. Some of his frustrations may be from not getting laid in who knows how long..." Bobby grumbled and examined the label of the beer bottle. "...Boy, He sure makes a point of mentioning that sometimes. Though I could do without knowing any of this. Fucks like a rabbit that boy. Wonder who he gets that from? Let's be glad he knows how to use his hand at least."
Sam couldn't help a snort of laughter. "And you don't even need to deal with him on the road. Imagine."Bobby quieted, shaking his head: "Well I'm happy to get a night of stargazin'."
Bobby's face brightened for a moment: "You want one? Pretty nice. Trying a new brand since the world ain't got much time left." Bobby asked, bending to pick up another bottle of the label he was holding, offering it to Sam.
"Might as well." Sam chuckled as he accepted.
He decided to stay as well, taking a hearty, indulgent swig. He'd done all he was possibly able, certainly he could spare a moment when tomorrow was so uncertain. Why trap himself with his frayed nerves?
They stayed there for some time, the silence between them comfortable as they took in the surprisingly clear sky above. He didn't remember when he'd last caught such time with Bobby without a case looming over their heads, so this was a nice change.
A couple of louder noises carried far enough and made Sam roll his eyes. "Oh for the love of-" The remark died on his tongue as he turned to look back at the house, eyes landing on the window in Dean's room. There was an odd silhouette he could barely make out through the window, Sam's brow furrowed.
Bobby squinted his eyes as well, confused: "What the hell is he doing in there? Rolling in the hay with himself?"The house was warded against everything, it should have been fine. Cas would've surely noticed if anything was amiss.
By the noises, I wouldn't even be surprised if he was... Sam thought, but the silhouette still looked strange. An arched line, which fluttered strangely. Though he supposed they were too far to tell exactly. But still, rather strange. The noise also sounded a bit odd, but he couldn't exactly pinpoint why.
There was also a faint glow growing in intensity. For a moment Sam felt a wave of panic make his blood run cold. Had they overlooked something? Had a seal not worked or been broken, were Dean and Cas under attack? Was Dean pulling another trick like before?
Before he could spring into action the light suddenly grew in brightness and the silhouette shifted, now the distinctive shape of a wing is easily discernible against the light even from where they were standing. The sounds grew into a crescendo and it was then that Sam was able to discern another familiar voice apart from Dean.
There was a long, shocked silence as Sam put two and two together, before he turned to Bobby, almost to confirm he wasn't seeing things. "Well, uhhh..." He began, though no words came.
"Is that?? No way, can't be..." Bobby mumbled in disbelief, still wary if everything was okay or not.
"I'm starting to think it is." Sam spoke, rubbing his brow with an exasperated sound somewhere between a sigh and a laugh. "Well unless Dean suddenly reached a level of holiness on his own, that is. I guess we found out who he's rolling in the hay with."
"I did find it strange the angelic charms in the hallway where rattling on their own," Bobby mumbled. He raised his drink as well as his eyebrow, "Well, about damn time. Those two have been circling each other like hungry mountain lions for months now. Wondered what was up with them. Didn't know angels could even..." He held a pause as his brows furrowed in the end he just shrugged. "Uh... well, as long as the angelic embrace isn't Michael's and those two idjits get to sort that out, what the hell. I'll take it as a win."
"Yyyyup." Sam muttered, eyes rolling at the sounds and taking another swig as well. "Small victories. Though it could've been priceless to straight up tell them to finally confess after all that song and dance." Sam smiled at Bobby.
"If you ask me, sometimes those two have the self-awareness of a baby. They might do all that and still not confess shit." Bobby responded to Sam's smile. "So maybe you'll get a chance to ruffle some feathers for them if the world don't fall apart. Cheers for that." He extended his hand to clink his drink with Sam.
"Cheers." Sam chuckled. "That would be something to look forward to."