Work Text
-He hears her laughter and realises with a pang that it’s the first time he’s heard it in a long time. His hand tightens on Beth’s waist for a moment, drawing her attention even as he turns them on the dance floor so he can see her.Emily.He watches as she smiles up at her dance partner, a man he’s heard Garcia refer to more than once as a ‘loveable rogue’. Emily laughs again as Rawson dips her dramatically before pulling her back up into the circle of his arms.“I didn’t know Emily brought a date,” Beth comments, and brings his attention back to her. His date. His girlfriend. “Do you know him?”Hotch clears his throat, forces a smile. “He’s an agent. Not her date.”“No?” Beth glances over at the couple in question, and smiles. “He wants to be,” she adds conspiratorially. “And they look good together, don’t you think?”No. He didn’t. His stomach rolls at the thought of it and he, very deliberately, turns them again so his back is to them.It doesn’t work. Even though he can’t see them in person, he can’t not see them in his mind’s eye.It shouldn’t bother him, and definitely not as much as it does. He has no claim over Emily, to right to dictate who she does and doesn’t dance with, but he can’t shake the feeling that her being in Mick Rawson arms and not in his is wrong.Very wrong.But then that would mean that the woman who is in his arms doesn’t belong there, either.“Does it bother you?” Beth asks. Her voice is soft, curious, but when he looks at her, he sees that she’s already beginning to suspect the answer. “Tell me about her,” she says before he can try to formulate a reply.“What?”“Emily,” Beth prods. “Tell me about her. I’ve just realised you’ve talked a lot about the other members of your team but not a lot about her. What I know, I know from little things here and there. Or Jack.” Her smile gets a little strained. “And we both know he adores her,” she finishes ruefully.And he does. It’s no secret that his son is enamoured by Emily and has been since the moment he met her. Even Haley commented on it once, a soft smile on her face as she murmured that she thought Jack had his first crush on the dark-haired agent. Hotch has noticed how much his son talks about Emily, but he’s never stopped to consider how it might have looked to his girlfriend, and he finds himself regretting that.“What do you want to know?” He asks instead, not knowing where to start, or how. There’s so much he could say about the dark-haired woman who’s now moved from dancing with Rawson, thankfully, to dancing with Morgan, and he suspects with a guilty flush that not all of it should be said to the woman he’s dating.Beth smiles at him – a little knowingly, a little sadly – and takes his hand. She leads him off the dancefloor, away from the other wedding guests, and towards a quieter spot in the garden. “How did you meet? At work, I’m presuming?”“Actually, no.” He shakes his head, sits beside her on the bench. It feels strange to be talking to her about another woman, but her smile is encouraging, and he somehow feels he owes it to her. “I worked for her parents. Her mother, mainly. I met Emily maybe once or twice while I was working security. I don’t know if she remembers,” he admits, his brow furrowing. It’s not something they’ve talked about, not something that’s ever come up. He remembers and regrets the way he treated her when Emily first joined the team and realises the onus is on him for that. “I didn’t trust her when she joined the team,” he continues, feeling very much like he’s in a confessional instead of in his best friend’s garden with the woman he’s dating. “We didn’t get off to the best of starts.”“Something obviously changed,” Beth comments quietly. “You seem like a very close team.”“Haley died,” he murmurs, then shakes his head. “No, it changed before that. Prentiss proved she was loyal, to the team and to me. And then Foyet…” His jaw clenches, his hand tensing into a fist before he forces it to relax. “She was the one who realised something was wrong, raised the alarm when I was attacked. If she hadn’t… I don’t want to think about it.” He stifles a shudder, feels Beth shift on the bench beside him and knows if they weren’t having the conversation they were, she would reach out to comfort him. Since they are, she keeps her hands clasped on her lap instead. “When Jack and Haley went into hiding, Emily was there. Even when I didn’t want her to be,” he admitted with a rueful smile. “She wouldn’t take no for an answer, made sure I didn’t give up.”“I can’t imagine what it was like for you,” Beth tells him sympathetically. “I know how much you love Jack.”“It wasn’t easy.” Even now, remembering being separated from his family makes him feel cold inside. “And then they came back, but Haley…” His voice trails off and he knows he doesn’t need to say it; Haley’s death, her murder, being something he’s told her about before, albeit with limited detail.“And Emily was there for you and Jack?” Beth guesses. She smiles softly when he looks up at her. “Jack,” she explains, “he said Emily used to come round a lot.”“The team were around a lot,” Hotch answers after a moment. “And Jess, obviously. But yes, she came over a lot. Jack took to her. Sometimes, after his nightmares, he wouldn’t settle unless he’d talked to her. I don’t know what she said to him, but it always worked. And she was good with him after Haley died. She lost her own father when she was Jack’s age, knew how it felt, what to say…”There’s a moment of silence, before Beth asks tentatively, “is then when you fell in love with her?”It hits him later, much later, that his first instinct wasn’t to deny it. He couldn’t tell Beth he wasn’t in love with Emily because he was, and the realisation of that floored him. “I…”“It’s okay, Aaron,” his girlfriend – ex-girlfriend – assures him. “I think we both know this –“ she gestures between them “has run its course. It’s been fun, but it was never going to last. You’re in love with her. Have been for quite some time if I’m not mistaken.” Her smile is soft, sad but not accusing. “I think you should tell her.”“Oh, I don’t think –”“What’s holding you back?” Beth prods, an eyebrow arched. “It would be good for both of you, and for Jack. If you’re worried she doesn’t feel the same, don’t be.”It’s a jolt to the system to think about, to imagine telling Emily how he feels, to imagine that she feels the same way. It’s tempting, so very tempting, but he’s not one hundred percent convinced, not until Beth continues with an impish smile.“Unless you’re okay with her dancing with that agent all night?”He’s not, and he feels like it should embarrass him that she knows it.They part ways a short time later, exchanging a soft kiss goodbye as he sees her into the taxi she’s called to take her home.Hotch watches her go, and wonders if he’s brave enough to take her advice.--There’s no sign of Emily, or Rawson, when he rejoins the party on the dancefloor. For a moment, he’s struck with the horrible image of them leaving together, of them being together, but then he hears her voice and feels something in him relax.The tension relaxes further and a smile tugs at his lips when he locates her. Jack is sat on her lap at one of the tables, gazing up at her adoringly as she wraps them both in the green shawl she’s wearing. They’re too far away for him to hear what they’re saying but that doesn’t matter. What does is how right they look, how the sight of them together is something he’ll never tire of and never wants to go without.Hotch makes his way towards them, clears his throat when he’s close enough, and watches two sets of eyes turn to him. Two smiles, one tired and one uncertain. He sees the way Emily’s eyes move instinctively behind him, searching for Beth, sees what he thinks is relief when the other woman isn’t there.He sits in the chair beside them, his smile growing when Jack makes no move towards him but snuggles further into Emily instead. “All danced out?” He asks her quietly, mindful of his son in his arms.“A little,” Emily returns. He can see her confusion, her curiosity, and knows she wants to ask but won’t.“Rawson not around?”His question, meant to be casual, causes her to arch an eyebrow. “No. He and his date left about twenty minutes ago.”“His date,” he repeats, and can’t stop his relief from showing. “Oh. That’s good.”“It’s good?” Emily doesn’t quite smirk, but he can see he’s amused her.He glances down at Jack, sees his son has fallen asleep. “Beth’s gone, too,” he offers, and studies her for her reaction.It’s testament to how well he knows her that he sees it, just a little glimpse of how she’s feeling before it’s gone, expertly hidden by her usual mask. It gives him courage, gives him hope.“Oh,” is what she says, followed by a sincere, “I’m sorry. I know you liked her.”“I did,” he agrees, far too cheerfully for someone who’s just been dumped, “but it turns out liking someone isn’t enough for a relationship to last. Not when there’s someone else involved.”Her eyes widen at that, the immediate conclusions she’s jumped to that Beth is the one with another person in their life. “She wasn’t –”“No,” he’s quick to assure her, touched by her indignance on his behalf. “I’m afraid that was me. Not that the other person knows it.”She looks at him curiously. “I don’t understand.”He wants to tell her, but he feels like he needs to think about what he’s going to say. JJ and Will’s wedding, with its romantic atmosphere, might seem like the perfect place to have the conversation but he wasn’t ready. He knows he needs to think about what he’s going to say, that he’s only going to get once chance.“I’ll explain tomorrow, okay?” At their already arranged meeting, their ‘date’ that wasn’t really a date.“Okay,” she agrees, and falls silent. Her gaze wanders to the dance floor, a smile on her face as she watches their friends.Hotch watches her watch them and allows himself to get lost in thoughts of what might be.