Work Text
From the first time I felt the click in my heart..
(I keep runnin’ oh! I keep runnin’ away!)
Try to sleep, but the aching tears me apart.
(I keep runnin’ oh, keep runnin’ away)
Oh, am I wasting the day?
Magnus fucking hated this song. It was somehow both incredibly sappy and horribly depressing at the same time.
(Keep runnin’ oh, keep runnin away)
Oh, does it hurt me to stay?
(I keep runnin’ oh, ‘cause I don't wanna pay)
He dropped a palmful of salt into his only clean pot. The water hadn't even come to a true boil yet. A foot tapped against his coffee table in 4/4 Time.
Stars shine, but start to fade in the light.
Love is blind, could be wrong, or it could be right!
In a bind, telling myself it's for you!
The leftovers from two separate bags of ravioli splashed into the water, which, in turn, splashed onto Magnus's arms. It burned, but not enough for him to run them under the tap.
For you
What sounded like Tokis fourth whisky of the night clinked against the glass table. The one Toki had gotten him after the last one broke under its own weight. His excuse was that he didn't like not having something to rest his feet on when he came over.
Magnus knew that it was because he had money to throw away on pretty coffee tables and Magnus didn't. He'd figured that out after a couple thousand had inexplicably appeared in his bank account the morning after complaining about bills.The song skipped back to the start.
From the first time I felt the click in my heart.
“Why'd you keep backing it up.”“I likes the start!"Magnus turned to see him lounging on the leather couch, which had also been provided by toki after he'd spilled too little booze to warrant a new one on the last one. Part of him liked to believe Toki just hated his old couch.He smiled at the old man and let his mismatched eyes drift back to the screen. Magnus wondered when he was ever going to get his anisocoria fixed. He tried not to his mind wander back to when he'd caused it.
Magnus gripped his hair tight enough to rip it. It was matted and crusty with blood. And soon, wet with it. He slammed Toki’s head into the concrete. Over. And Over. And Over. He couldn't stop himself. He couldn't even believe what he'd done until the evidence pooled under Toki’s gaunt face.
He killed him. He killed him and his plan was ruined. He'd have to kill Abigail next. He'd have to tell the assassin that he'd thrown it all away
His hand snaked under him to grasp at the wound.
Tokis arms slinked around his thin hips and let his chin hit an equally pointy shoulder. “What's cookin, good lookin’?”His English was only good if he was parroting or reading. Having heard Magnus say that every time he'd opened the fridge to pull out a beer, he'd learned that those words didn't come with an s at the end of them.
“Whatever's in the freezer.” He didn't mean to be stingy, but his head hurt and the day had been long. He could feel Toki shrink at that answer.
“I coulds have ordered ou-”“Did I ask for charity?”
It came out harsher than he meant it to. Everything he says comes out harsher then he means it to, doesn't it?He grinded his teeth despite his dentist's wishes. Toki hadn't done anything to piss him off. Why was he yelling at him?
(I keep runnin’ oh! I keep runnin’ away)
“...m’ sorrie.” Magnus's hands were rubbing his sore eyes before he could stop them.“What did I say about apologizing?” He mentally kicked himself.“.. don't.”“Right.”Toki stood in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest meekly. His blue eyes shone white under the overhead. If Magnus got him just out of his blindspot the right one looked black.He caught sight of a tear welling up and sighed.“.. That wasn't your fault. I'm just tired.”Toki didn't answer.
“Please get up. Please. Please say something. Please say something.” His fingers didn't twitch. His chest neither rose nor fell. The puddle reached the edge of Magnus's boot and trickled between the valleys of his soles.
Magnus threw up on Tokis lifeless body. He hadn't meant to kill him. He never meant to kill him.
“I didn't mean to yell at you.” Great apology, asshole.“What ams yous mad about..?” He stumbled through his words. Twelve years out of Lillehammer and his English hadn't changed.“I..” He ran a hand through his hair. Sighing as deep as his blackened lungs let him“I'm just mad. I'm always mad. It's never about you.”Hands ghosted back around his hips. Just barely brushing against his belt where his fingers interlockedHe heard Toki gulp behind him, still unsure if he was safe or not. He hated when he did that. When he acted like Magnus was violent
His hands shook.
‘Anisocoria is a condition characterized by an unequal size of the eyes' pupils. Affecting up to 20% of the population, anisocoria is often entirely harmless, but can be a sign of more serious medical problems.’
It was just a concussion. He'd be fine. He'd recover from a gash and a concussion. His body laid still in the tub. Hair shaved at the temple and wound stitched, he let the blood and grime sink into the water, tinting it brown.
He didn't want to touch him. What if he couldn't stop himself? What if he did it again? He let the phone clatter to the ground and started scrubbing the puke out of his hair.
“Goddammit Toki! I'm not going to hurt you. Please stop acting like I'm going to hurt you.” His eyes were as wide as a deers in headlights. His good eye met Magnus's bad, and his bad met Magnus's good.
The water boiled over. “You're allowed to touch me! I'm not going to bust your head open for touching me Toki!”Toki’s calloused fingers inched up to his temple. He trailed his fingers across the faint scar.
(I keep runnin’ oh, keep runnin’ away)
Oh, and he begs me to stay.
(I keep runnin’ oh, keep runnin’ away)
Oh, will he take me away?
Boiling water hissed against the burner. It popped and bubbled and ran down the front of the stove.Magnus slammed it down on a cold burner and flipped the stove off. The dull red of the electric metal faded to black.“I'm sorry, Toki. I didn't mean to yell.” He stood over the heat and squeezed his eyes shut. When did he mean to yell? “I didn't mean to ruin your eye. I didn't mean to say that. I didn't-”
Rough hands wiped the tears he didn't know had fallen. The brunette stood at his side and held his face gingerly. The slightly shorter strand of hair at his temple had since been feathered and trimmed and matched on the left side.
“I didn't mean to hurt you.” The only reason he was talking was because toki was too concussed to make out the words. He meant them all the same.
“Is your eye okay?”
He didn't expect an answer. Nor did he truly want one. He rolled up what was left of the tattered sleeve and pushed the last few drops of insulin into his arm. He needed to get more. Hopefully he'd be able to ride it out until he got some through entirely legal means. He'd award him and Abigail with a pillow or two incase he had a seizure, which Magnus had quickly learned Toki was prone to after the first few nights.
He still looked dead. But there was air in his lungs, and blood in his heart. That didn't stop his eyes from fluttering and his head from nodding and his mouth from hanging agape.
Toki clicked his jaw shut and gently pulled magnus away from the hot stove and back towards the couch.The very second he'd hit the suede Magnus collapsed into him. His hands grasped aimlessly. His breathing quickly turned into sobs and his far too skinny frame curled up against Toki’s healthy body.No words were uttered. He was kind enough to hold his tounge and let him leave tear stains on his shirt. Magnus wished he wasn't. He shouldn't be kind. He shouldn't find space in his heart to be kind to people like Magnus.
Magnus tried to hate toki for being kind. He tried to hate how understanding he was. He tried to hate him for his charm. He tried to hate him for talent. He tried to hate him for how deeply he loved.Magnus sobbed. And he sobbed. And he sobbed.Magnus tried to hate this stupid song.
Stars shine, but start to fade in the light.
Love is blind, could be wrong, or it could be right.
In a bind, telling myself it's for you.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
From the first time I felt the click in my heart..
(I keep runnin’ oh! I keep runnin’ away!)
Try to sleep, but the aching tears me apart.
(I keep runnin’ oh, keep runnin’ away)
Oh, am I wasting the day?
Toki skipped back from the jukebox sadistically smiling to himself. The rest of the bar groaned at the fifth repeat of this stupid song.Magnus watched from his perch as Toki lined up his shot. Repositioned, lined up again, and..! No dice. It stuck in the cork behind the board. He mulled over at least twenty different depth perception related jabs in his head before deciding against it. Perhaps the wound was still raw, no need to rub salt in it.
Toki quickly returned with the darts. Letting his hand linger at Mangus's while waiting for him to get up.“Donts poke out yous good eye, Nick Fury.” Ah, well if gentleman's rules were off the table.“Pipe down, Bowie.” He watched Toki curl up on the barstool and giggle like a teenage girl. Magnus swore he secretly liked that comparison, despite how often he complained about tabloids putting their pictures next to one another.
His first shot missed, as per usual.
“Haves you trys closing yous bad eye? Might helps yous death perskipshins.” Magnus stifled a smile. His second only landed him a two before it fell out and clattered against the floor.
“I'm blind Toki. I can't see out of that eye ever.”
The music faded out. The rest of the bar held their breath. Hoping. Praying. That that stupid song wouldn't play again.
It did, of course. Magnus had learned not to hope like that a long time ago. Hell, before he'd seen Norah Jones on the downloaded artists he'd played ‘Going out west’ enough times to get the regulars to go next door.“It's just likes fight club!” He'd argued. “This song amns in fight club! Rights before theys gos to the basements!”
“I'm pretty sure they only played this song once, Toki. Not seven times in a row.”
The klokateer that was assigned to follow Toki around stood 6'7 and 465 in between anyone and the stereo. His firearm held tight to his chest as nervous drunks gathered their things and shot him glances.
Stars shine, but start to fade in the light.
Love is blind. Could be wrong, or it could be right!
In a bind, telling myself it's for you!
The third shot landed him a whole lot more nothing. He heard Toki’s glass clink back down against the counter.Magnus dragged himself over and picked the pins off the floor, hips groaning disapprovingly.
“Nots my fault yous got yous taillight busted.” Magnus squinted his eyes at him. Perched on his stool, legs swinging, smile stretched from ear to ear. They both knew he wouldn't respond to that. Couldn't. That's exactly why Magnus liked him in the first place. The witty little bastard found ways to shut him up that nobody else had before. God knows he needed to learn when to shut up.He took his time coming back over, his leather ankle boots click click clicked on the creaky hardwood floor. Every jingle of his wallet chain made Tokis smile widen just a littleee bit more.
In the night, the Devil knocks on my door
(I keep runnin’ oh! I keep runnin’ away)
Another life, and the same thing happened before..
(I keep runnin’ oh! I keep runnin’ away!)
He slapped the darts into Toki’s hand. He kept his head on a swivel so that he could keep smiling at Magnus as he hopped off.“You're a horrible little smartass. D'you know that?”
“So i's been told.” He didn't even bother looking at the board. 13 points. Showoff.“You're insufferable.”“Reallies?”“Oh yeah you are.” He hadn't noticed himself smiling back until his cheeks got sore.
“That makes twos of us then, no?” Second shot. 49 points.
“I swear to God ill-”“You'll what?” His grin could only be compared to that of the Cheshire cat. Double bull. 99 down from 202. Little dickhead.“You be careful before I wipe that smile off your face.” the hardwood creaked as he stood. Hands in his pockets as he looked around. The gear was disinterested. He seemed upset with the lack of things to shoot. The last few patrons shuffled past him as quickly as possible. The bartender's jaw clenched when he made eye contact with the beast.
“ones more? Ors we can gets outta here..” The darts were returned to the beer stein they usually sat in. Tokis hands trailed up his thighs, strong fingers hooked through his belt loops and pulled him in slightly.
Try to sleep, but the aching tears me apart
(I keep runnin’ oh! I keep runnin’ away!)
Oh, am I wasting the day?
(Keep runnin’ oh! I keep runnin’ away.)
Oh, does it hurt me to stay?
Despite the insistence of the klokateer guarding him, Toki helped himself to the passenger seat of Magnus's caddie. He knew LA better than the dethlimo driver. Plus, his car was right there.She roared to life, Toki politely took his shoes off as soon as he was in. As much as Magnus hated to admit it, he was totally one of those guys who was in love with his car. The radio clicked on.
‘And that was, Zombie by The Cranberries! Up next, Running, by Norah Jones.’
Magnus turned it back off immediately as he pulled out. Much to the dismay of Toki, who had somehow twisted sideways in his seat so that he could more effectively beg.“You played that song like ten times already!! Why do we need to hear it again!” He found himself chuckling between words.
“Itsa good songs! Pleeeaasee Magpie, pleaseee!!” He cupped his hands and shook them like a sinner in church.
“Magpie??”“Pleaseeee Magnus?”He clicked the radio back on, just to watch Tokis face light up. He exploded in a fury of “Oh, thank you!”s just about instantly.
Stars shine, but start to fade in the light
Love is blind! It could be wrong, or it could be right.
In a bind, telling myself it's for you!
Magnus loved this stupid song.
Oh, and he begs me to stay
(I keep runnin’! Oh, I keep runnin’ away!)
Oh, will he take me away?
The Neon lights of bars and clubs that still stayed open past midnight swished past them. Toki kept his eyes on the window and his hand in Magnus's lap. He wondered to himself if it was appropriate for him to do the same. Probably not. But when was he appropriate?The thigh twitched under the sudden contact. Even though Toki was in his blind spot, and he was in Toki’s. They both swore they could see the other smile.
Runnin' and runnin'.
Runnin' and runnin'
Runnin' and runnin'
For you!