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Lance liked to think that after being in space for several months he was used to crazy, unexplainable, sometimes downright weird things happening and he was pretty much prepared for anything the universe could throw at him.Welp, he had been proven wrong. Because there was no preparing for the fact that every member of Team Voltron other than himself and Keith had turned into babies. Lance’s best guess was something in muffin batter — likely the space blueberries — given the evidence littering the kitchen that suggested everyone had tried the muffins. He and Keith hadn’t and had been spared as neither had been in the kitchen for the ill-timed snack as Lance had gone down to the training hall to fetch Keith for the ‘muffin meeting’ AKA Shiro and Allura’s attempts to go over drier, far less interesting information with a bribe and Keith had clearly forgotten said meeting and Lance had gone to get him with the promise there’d be plenty of muffins left when he returned.And, well, now here they were.He and Keith standing in the doorway while every other member of the team were literally toddling around in various states of undress — Allura and Coran fully clothed (and Coran somehow even as baby having a full moustache and Lance truly did not understand) as apparently Altean garments stood up against magical berries while everyone else was butt naked save for the fact Shiro was apparently wearing Altean-made pants and his prosthetic had shrunk too.Hunk and Pidge were trapped by their clothing but while Hunk didn’t seem too upset by it — kicking chubby little legs out from underneath his shirt and half-blinded by his bandana that had slipped over one half of his face and burbling — Pidge was screaming bloody murder as she thrashed and tried to get out of her oversized shirt, but, for the moment they were contained.Allura — a little older than Hunk and Pidge it seemed, maybe two? — was giggling and trying to grab onto Coran’s moustache while the man— er, toddler? — was batting away her hands with his own playful shrieks and in turn trying to grab her hair while Shiro…“Ack!” Lance dove forward just as Shiro — between the Alteans and his fellow humans in age — lifted with apparent effort based on his furrowed brow his metal arm and Lance saw the sheen of purple light flickering as it began to activate. “No!”And whether it was the fact baby Shiro didn’t have the energy, the knowledge or the mental capacity to fully activate the weapon, all Lance received as he clamped hands around it just before Shiro could poke it at his own face was a tingling shock that he bit his tongue against to avoid shouting right in Shiro’s ear.It didn’t seem to have mattered though as the baby’s face — scar looking even larger now across Shiro’s nose and cheeks and there were scars everywhere all over the small body and Lance tried not to look too closely as Shiro clearly kept them covered for a reason — screwed up in what Lance knew was the prelude to a wail.“Oh no no, it’s okay, it’s okay,” and with practiced ease he was hefting Shiro — and the arm was definitely way, way too heavy for a baby and was it always this uneven of a weight distribution? — into his arms and giving him a rock and for the moment focusing on the fact he had an upset baby in his arms versus his team leader and hero. “It’s okay. You’re okay. I know it’s heavy, isn’t it? And shocky? So shocky. So no touchy, okay?”Shiro stared up at him with wide charcoal eyes and then cocked his head and went, “Oh gee?”“Oh gee?” Lance sounded out.Shiro let out a burble and a spit bubble and continued to stare up at him.The literally armed baby handled for the moment Lance was becoming aware that despite the fact it had been a minute Pidge was still wailing and now Hunk was starting to make whimpering sounds too and just like laughter was contagious crying was too and he’d bet any second Allura and Coran’s play would—A high-pitched wail that somehow still sounded regal split the air and Lance whirled to see that Coran had pulled too tightly on Allura’s hair and his fingers were now stuck in it and she was only hurting herself more as she tried to pull away.And Keith, his one and only adult(ish) figure in this current madhouse was… Still standing in the doorway like a deer frozen in headlights. “Keith!” Lance called out, not too loudly so he didn’t startle Shiro again who was now trying to unsuccessfully lift his prosthetic up where Lance had the heavy arm pinned between the baby and his own chest and seemed focused on that task, and Keith legit jumped at the address, turning just as wide eyes as the kids to Lance. “What are you doing, man?” Lance jutted his chin out towards Pidge. “Could use some help in here,” and he was trying to remain calm, he was, but this was beyond insanity and he really, really could use another set of hands.Or like ten but he’d have to settle for Keith’s two. “I…” Keith remained where he was, wincing as Pidge’s shriek passed into banshee territory. “I…”“Do not tell me you’ve never held a baby,” Lance said, rocking Shiro now as he was starting to fuss with all the other noise and Dios, he did not need four — five, he amended as Coran had started to cry now too — crying babies. Keith did not correct him.“Holy crow,” Lance muttered.Of all the people to have as reinforcements it had to be the one who had never held let alone clearly interacted with a baby. “Okay, here,” he approached Keith with Shiro and held the baby out. “Hold him.”“Lance, I—”Lance was putting Shiro into Keith’s arms before he could protest and instinct at least had Keith holding onto Shiro even as Lance saw his arms dip at the weight of the prosthetic and his eyes widen as he too caught sight of the scars. “Don’t let him use that!” Lance hollered over his shoulder as he beelined for Pidge as if he could calm her down he had a feeling the rest of the babies would too. “Come here, you,” he scooped her up inside of her shirt in an effort to help subdue flailing limbs, taking a moment to pluck the glasses that had fallen down her face and put them in his jacket pocket for safekeeping, holding her out in front of him. “You’re okay, Pidgeon. You’re okay. See?” he pulled the collar of her shirt down so he could see her entire face, still red and scrunched up with tears, but she had quieted the moment he’d picked her up. “There you are,” he chirped, wiggling his eyebrows at her. “Who’s a cute baby? You are! You are a cute baby!” He leaned forward and bumped his nose against hers, pulled back and did it again complete with a little raspberry against her cheek.Pidge let out a little hiccup and then a giggle, some of the red fading out of her face.Lance breathed an internal sigh of relief that had worked. Pidge though was clearly a baby that liked to be held, emphasized as she quieted even more as he shifted to cradle her in his arms and she let out another giggle as she got one hand free out of the collar of her shirt and reached up to bat at his chin. All that said, Lance knew he wasn’t going to be able to put her down quite yet.He shifted her into one arm and looking back over his shoulder to check on Keith — still standing in the doorway but with Shiro in his arms — sort of, he was half over Keith’s shoulder and clearly trying to climb down and Keith not realizing it but he was safe for the moment — hurried towards Allura and Coran.“Okay you two,” he crouched down and brought his free hand to Coran’s tangled in Allura’s hair, “let’s get you sorted.”“Sowee,” Coran whimpered as Allura let out another cry as Lance gave a gentle tug.And gracias a Dios, someone here was at least speaking baby-babble Lance sort of understood. “It’s okay, Coran,” he said and bright, jewel-shifting eyes lit up at the sound of his name. “It was an accident.”“Pwetee.”“It is very pretty,” Lance agreed, unfurling a strand, and hoping he was interpreting correctly. “Did you hear that, Allura?” he looked over to the chubby cheeked princess. “Coran thinks your hair is pretty.”“Pweee,” she sounded out, pursing her lips in a familiar gesture of when she was sounding out Earth phrases and Lance bit back his laugh. “But we can’t touch each others hair, including moustaches, without permission, okay? Pidge,” Lance looked down at the baby in his arm who had taken his inattention to grab at the hair at the nape of his neck, “that includes you too, sweetie. No hair pulling.”Pidge’s grip only tightened. Lance resigned himself to minor pain and finished untangling Coran’s fingers. “All right you two,” he looked at the two toddlers of the group as he gently pried Pidge’s hand free and guided it to play with the zipper on his jacket instead. “I have a super special, super important task for you two. Can you help me?”“Help!” Coran cheered, rising onto his feet, swaying, and taking a hard sit on his rear and bursting into giggles. Allura giggled too and clapped her hands.“Awesome,” Lance grinned at them. “I need the two of you practice making funny faces at each other. Like this!” And Lance crossed his eyes and stuck his tongue out.Allura let out an ear-splitting shriek while Coran fell over with a laugh and wriggled like a worm on the floor.“I’ll be back in a few minutes to see your funny faces,” Lance uncrossed his eyes. “Keep practicing!”He backed away from the two giggling and happy toddlers and went to his one last unhappy charge.Hunk was still trapped in his shirt, his bandana now fully off his head where he’d shaken it free, and while not loudly crying he was still whimpering and twitching his feet that he’d gotten free of the shirt but hadn’t managed to get his arms up and out yet.“Hey, hermano,” Lance murmured as he awkwardly but carefully tucked Hunk’s shirt about him and lifted the baby into his other arm opposite Pidge. “I’ve got you. You’re all right.” Hunk was a very easy-going baby though and as soon as he was snug in Lance’s arm he turned and nuzzled his face into Lance’s shoulder with a little yawn.Pidge let out a yawn too and reached her free hand up to rub at her eyes.Lance’s heart melted at the sight.He still had no idea what was happening or how to fix it, but at least for the moment everyone was safe and happy and he could enjoy the adorable image of his best friends as the cutest little babies eve—A decidedly not happy shout sounded behind him and Lance turned as quickly as he dared to see that Keith was now holding Shiro completely upside down as the baby flailed and Shiro’s next cry was drowned out by Keith’s panicked call of, “Lance!”“Put him down!” Lance yelped. “Gently!” he tacked on who knew what Keith was thinking.To Lance’s relief Keith did not concuss Shiro as he lowered the boy down where his arm made a heavy thunk on the floor and the baby immediately tried to crawl away but tripped over his own heavy limb and went sprawling instead and Lance could see his face starting to morph into a cry.Oh no.Lance hurried over with his now quiet charges and thrust them as gently but quickly as he could at Keith with a, “Take them,” and Keith’s horrified, “what, no—” but again instinct kicked in as Keith was now holding a baby in each arm while Lance scooped Shiro into his arms by his armpits and held him out in front of him with a little bounce. “Hey, little guy, it’s okay,” Lance bounced him again. “You’re okay. Mullet isn’t very good at holding babies, is he?” “Hey,” Keith protested softly and even without looking Lance could almost hear the line of hurt in the single word.“He’s trying his best though,” Lance continued, looking backwards at Keith over his shoulder and watching as Keith’s lips formed an ‘oh’ as he realized Lance hadn’t finished and he ducked his head. “Isn’t that right? And look how good he is holding little baby Hunk and Pidge. They look so comfy, don’t they?” he pulled Shiro into his arms and turned so the baby could see his fellows nestled exactly where Lance had put them in Keith’s arms. “So sleepy. Are you sleepy, Shiro?”Shiro blinked up at him, his flesh hand latching onto the fold of Lance’s jacket.“You like my jacket?” Lance asked. “You have excellent taste. My mamá got this for me. Pretty sharp, huh?”“Lance,” Keith sounded confused then. “I don’t think he can understand you…”“I know,” Lance said. “But babies like it when you talk to them. Talk to Pidge, you’ll see.”“Uh…” Keith swallowed and looked down at Pidge’s head. “Hello?”Pidge shrieked and her fist caught Keith right on the chin.“See?” Lance laughed. “You’re a natural.”And he watched as Keith untensed the barest bit, although as Hunk shifted slightly in his arms he went right back to ramrod straight. “Oh gee,” Shiro murmured, his eyes fluttering closed and he turned his face into Lance’s chest. “Suh me.”“Suh me,” Lance repeated the word quietly, rubbing the baby’s back and casting his eyes about the room for Shiro’s shirt to use as both a blanket and to cover up the scars he knew Shiro hadn’t wanted them to see.“Lance,” Keith called his attention back. “What do we do?”“We should probably take them to the lounge,” Lance said. “See if we can get them settled down on the couches for naps. Kitchen’s a bit dangerous and Allura and Coran seem to have enough mobility that I do not want them finding the knife drawer. Or eating more muffins just in case they like, age back even more. That would be a real recipe for disaster, yeah? This one is all things pretty dang adorable.” He smiled down at the top of Shiro’s head.Absolutely adorable. “Not that,” Keith shook his head. “What do we do about this? Them?”“They ate something that clearly had weird space qualities,” Lance shrugged. “So odds are it’ll wear off.”“What if it doesn’t?”“What if it does?” Lance countered. “Come on, mullet. If they’re still like this by dinner we can start panicking. For now let’s just get them comfortable and go from there. Yeah?”Keith’s jaw clenched before he gave a short nod.They made an odd procession to the lounge; Keith retaining his hold on Hunk and Pidge, Lance with Shiro in one arm and hunched over to hold Allura’s hand and match the toddler’s very slow walk — made slower by the fact she kept tripping over her dress until Lance had called a hold up and promising her he wasn’t doing anything improper had gathered the skirt and tied it in a knot about her knee length — as Coran toddled ahead of them in combination of walking and crawling.“Okay, nap time!” Lance sing-songed as they finally reached the lounge, settling Shiro onto the couch.“Not sweepy,” Coran protested, crossing his arms over his chest, Allura mimicking him with a giggle.Lance copied them both, drawing more giggles.“Oh really? I think you are very, very sleepy,” he said, bending down and pulling Coran into his arms.“No!”“Yes!” Lance stuck his tongue out, drawing another giggle. “No sweepy,” Coran pouted a moment later.“Well,” Lance let out an exaggerated yawn. “I’m super sleepy. So sleepy I’m going to go to sleep right… here.”And he flopped backwards onto the couch opposite Shiro and where Keith had just placed Pidge and Hunk — Hunk already asleep — on cushions by Shiro and was hovering as though expecting Pidge to make a break for it and those were good instincts, Lance silently complimented as she absolutely would — with an oof and wrapped his arms snugly about Coran. “Allura, come here sweetie,” Lance patted the cushion next to him and to his relief Allura crawled over and Lance was able to bend down and hoist her up where she immediately snuggled into his side. “How about,” he placed one hand atop Allura’s head, gently stroking her hair, “a song?”“Song!” Coran cheered.“Shh, Coran, quiet voices,” Lance corrected in a whisper.“Song,” Coran whispered with a little laugh.“Okay, one song and then nap time,” Lance said. He cleared his throat and began his favorite lullaby of his childhood.Before he could even reach the second verse Coran had gone limp in his arms and Allura was an even heavier press against his side.Lance pressed a kiss to the top of Coran’s head before he gently settled him on the cushion next to them and then eased Allura down onto the cushion he vacated, grabbing one of the blankets off the back of the couch to lay over both of their legs and bodies. A glance over revealed Keith had placed the blanket from that couch over Shiro and was in the process of retrieving more from the storage ottoman to place over Pidge and Hunk.A good plan, Lance figured, as while they were pretty swaddled in their shirts when — and it had better be when — they changed back they were sort of missing their pants.“You’re really good with kids,” Keith said quietly as he handed Lance one of the blankets that he tenderly spread over Pidge, reangling her and putting in pillows to prevent her from rolling. “You’re not so bad yourself,” Lance smiled up at him and Keith gave him a tentative one back. “Seriously though, you’ve never held a baby?”Keith shook his head and the sort of shuttering over his face was worse than the panic.Lance dropped that line of questioning.“You did good, mullet,” Lance gave Keith a gentle nudge. “Thanks for the assist. Now,” his tone lightened, “let’s hope they change back before we need to figure out a diaper situation.”Keith paled while Lance let out a quiet laugh.“Settle in,” Lance said, situating himself on the couch next to Coran’s head while Keith picked his way over to the armchair. “We’re on baby watch now.”And not even an hour later baby watch ended with both the sound of bubbles popping and clothes ripping as Pidge and Hunk’s limbs popped through shirts as everyone transformed back into their normal ages.“See?” Lance whispered as he caught Keith’s eye. “No panicking needed.”Keith let out a soft huff of agreement. Despite the transformation and the fact one of Shiro’s legs and Hunk’s arms slid off the couch, all remained sound asleep, expressions peaceful.And hey, who said a team nap wasn’t a bonding activity? It beat out whatever dry mumbo-jumbo the initial meeting had been about anyway and honestly, Shiro and Allura owed them an easy afternoon after all that.Lance curled up on his section of cushion, peripherally aware of Keith doing the same, and closed his eyes, letting out a deep breath of his own.And surrounded by the gentle, even breaths — and now the sound of Coran’s snores — of his team, Lance enjoyed a well deserved afternoon nap.